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t3_523wyl | relationships | My (22M) girlfriend (22F) of 3 years has feelings for another guy? | Hi first time posting here.
My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 3 years so far and its been going really well.
A family friend of my girlfriend flew in with his family last week to visit from Alberta and right off the bat I didn't like the guy. My girlfriend and her family spent a lot of time with cousins and also his family too. Such as going to parties, and many other events. I didn't go to any of these events because my family and her family haven't really met yet so it would be awkward if only I tagged along (I know its weird). After they left I told my girlfriend that I didn't like him and I could see that he had bad intentions for her even though he also has a girlfriend. We had a long argument over it and in the end she sees my point of view and understands where I'm coming from by saying this.
Fast forward a week (today) and she says she may have also have feelings for this guy but still has feelings for me too.
I can't honestly see myself with anyone but her but I'm not sure what to do in this situation.
What should I do? | girlfriend of 3 years says she has feelings for another guy and me at the same time. What should I do? |
t3_2xpnjc | relationships | Me [15 M] with my 2 weeks [16 F] duration, Suspect That I Am Being Used As A Boy Toy | Some people have told me that my girlfriend is just using me as a boy toy. I (although it is biased) believe that she is not, but yet, I cannot help but have a sneaking suspicion that she might be. She seems to hang out, and be close with a lot of guys, one of which has confessed his feelings of love for her, to her. This happened today morning, and I feel as if I should talk to her, but have never been one to be able to talk to people about things of importance. So reddit, how should I talk to her? | Having troubles bringing up sensitive topic with S.O, what should I do? |
t3_2udrmf | personalfinance | Look at my document - give me the advice | This is my current tracker with all my bills and whatnot. I'm posting this here looking for any smarter ways to save money and pay down debts. I think I've got enough notes in the document to answer most questions... hopefully. I put in my pay days at the top, and which bills are due during that pay period.
After (and including) the tax refund portion, there are a lot of assumptions. I have no idea how much we'll get back as a refund, but it's typically pretty high. The amounts put towards various debts are not set in stone.
A bit about us: My husband has been unemployed since his seasonal job ended around Thanksgiving. He just got hired (full time, salaried!) and starts next week. He did not qualify for unemployment benefits after the last gig ended, so we've been surviving on my income of $14/ hour. Luckily we don't have kids yet.
Because of the holidays, my office was closed for 6 days over two pay periods so that was rough. We put our expenses on credit cards over that time. They used to be almost empty, and are now almost full. Not smart - I know. But we didn't really have much in the way of savings and had bills to pay and holidays and blah blah, sob story.
We've been living with family, and they were cool enough to put rent on pause for a while. We'll start paying again in April. I'll also start paying for my car in April. We'll also no longer need our storage unit in April.
Our goals are to pay off debts/ buy a house/ have a baby/ have nice savings accounts. We can get a really nice house in our area for under $140k. | Looking for input on the way I'll be paying off debt now that my husband and I have full time jobs. |
t3_3nn1in | tifu | TIFU by turning 21 and thinking I was invincible (Possibly NSFW) | Technically yesterday but living with the effects today. Can guarantee that this is going to go the opposite of how most are expecting to go.
Necessary background info:
I was totally straight laced my entire life. I live in Oregon and my boyfriend is a stoner who lives in Washington and recently got me smoking weed. I have horrible stomach problems that are currently still undiagnosed. But part of what's been discovered is I've become both lactose and gluten intolerant out of nowhere. As a result I've spent the last two and a half weeks on a diet that's completely dairy and gluten free. Which means everything delicious and fun is gone.
Now, leading up to the FU. Boyfriend got me a bong and some weed for my birthday. I had decided to say fuck it and eat food that wasn't in the range of safe things to eat because it was my birthday. Agony ensues. A little while after dinner we go to my room and smoke a bit. I take one hit all my stomach pain is completely gone.
My boyfriend had to go back to Washington and later that night I had stomach pain again. I smoke again and just like before all pain is gone. It's still my birthday so I say fuck it again and I begin to completely binge on dairy and gluten like a rabid wolverine. You name it I probably shoved it down my craw. Then I start on all the other things I couldn't eat. Lots of sweets. Nothing is triggering my stomach pain. I don't stop. Nothing could harm me! I was laughing in the face of the gods.
Well in my hubris, I forgot that eating a bunch of unhealthy bullshit is going to upset my stomach like it would anyone else for obvious reasons. And I got the mother of all stomach aches and nausea. Not even the dankest of weed could save me. The mass amounts of milk I drank made my stomach all sloshy and I'm still dealing with residual stomach aches now. I'm just lying here thinking about all the other times karma has bitch slapped me for getting too cocky. I feel like a moron. | Have issues with gluten and dairy, weed fixes that. Binged to hell and back on milk and junk food and got a really bad stomach ache that won't go away because I thought I was untouchable. |
t3_3mkp7i | relationships | Me, (19F) In a dilema choosing between 2 guys (25m and (19m) | Okay, So im currently 19, female, I went to school with a guy my age since primary school, and I've kinda had a crush on him since primary school. We had a falling out last year, however we have been chatting recently and have been building up a relationship.. that could go into something more
But also, at my work, theres a guy who I've recently been chatting to, who is 25. We have a lot in common, and i mean a lot. We are both nerd freaks, anything nerdy (Doctor who, marvel, bbc anything). Long story short, we have been chatting everyday we are at work together and he wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with him, At first I thought as friends, But now with workplace gossip going around I know he means something more aswell
And I kinda get along with both guys, and I would date either of em (I hope that doesn't sound bad, I really want to murder my feelings at this point) So I find myself at crossroads. Any advise is welcome at this point | Childhood friend, Or new friend? |
t3_160krn | AskReddit | Reddit have you ever had a Song Save you from falling asleep on the road? | I was driving from Wichita to San Antonio which is a 10 hour drive. I started driving 14 hours after I had woken up that day. So lets just say I regretted my decision as soon as I turned onto the turnpike. After 5 Energy drinks and nothing else I literally started seeing things that weren't there. I even called a friend telling him I had seen the Slender Man four times on the road. I was gone, my eyes were blurred but I was still 2 hours from home. I kept changing radio channels to no effect. Then all of a sudden AWOLNATION - SAIL started playing on a random station. The adrenalin flowed and I was saved! Needless to say having Bat out of Hell play next was just icing on the cake
I should have preposition this with saying I had a legal obligation to be back in San Antonio on the following day... | AWOLNATION - SAIL saved my life on the road to San Antonio |
t3_2a58q5 | cats | Need help: Cat has begun yowling at 4:30am | My husband and I have a 9 year old orange tabby cat. She is generally a polite and well behaved kitty but since mid June she has taken to howling, yowling, and crying at the bedroom door starting at 4, 4:30 in the morning. We usually take her to bed with us because we have another cat and they don't get along well. We have tried snuggling her and giving her treats to keep her quiet but with limited success. We certainly don't want to resort to any kind of violence (swatting or hitting) so what do the cat people of Reddit think? Any ideas? | Any idea how to shut my cat up nicely so we can get some sleep? |
t3_41kz5v | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [22M] He never talks, it's getting stressful | My bf and I have been dating for two years. We're currently long distance but that hasn't really proven to be much of an issue. Basically, he's always been an extremely quiet person and isn't in to talking that much. This really threw me off at the beginning of our relationship, I thought he was always mad or bored with me or something. I found myself holding back telling him things so we'd have something to talk about when we were together.
Eventually I guess I got used to it? It was certainly never happy about it but I guess I was just like 'whatever I don't have to deal with this now maybe he'll change or some shit'. He hasn't.
So we'll go to bars some times and he basically won't say anything the whole time, and I'll ask him how he is and he just responds with "Fine, how are you?" like it was some sort of greeting or some shit. Like I'm actually asking him how he is, why is this hard for him? And recently his brother passed away and he really has barely talked about it, and I try not to pressure him because obvs this is a really personal thing that I have no experience of. It's not like he's a stupid person or something--he definitely is thinking about things, he just never articulates them. It's making being with him progressively more difficult--it's very hard to be with someone when you can't support them (because you don't know what they need), they won't tell you what's going on in their life, and honestly I don't enjoy hanging out in silence.
So I guess have multiple questions: Why doesn't he talk? Am I ever going to get through to him or should I break up with him? Is there anything I can do to understand what's going on with him? I really love him and we have a lot in common but having a meaningful convo can be like pulling teeth, and sometimes it's like dating a fucking wall. | Why doesn't my bf talk, it's hard to know what he's feeling or what he thinks. Dating a wall is getting exhausting. Halps. |
t3_mcwfd | BreakUps | Ex wants me back, but first I have to tell him... | So earlier today my ex boyfriend told me he's still in love with me and finally ready to be with again. I have never fallen out of love with him but learned to manage and move past it. My best friend lives with him so we found a place where we were still friends. We split off a couple months ago and to say the least I wanted to have fun, so I did. To say the least it came back and bite me in the ass. I got genital herpes from someone I was with. After weeks of crying and the worst physical pain Ive ever felt I has come to accept it. I didn't plan on being with anyone for a long time because of the fear of rejection. However I have always felt my ex as the love of my life but I don't know how to explain this situation to him. I won't see him until the weekend when I go home for thanksgiving break. I was looking for any kind of opinions or advice since I haven't told really anyone about my situation. | Ex told me he wants to get back together, have to tell him I got genital herpes in between our breakup. |
t3_390p2n | relationships | Me [18F] and my BF [20M] are in a sense moving in together, what is some advice you would give? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than two years. We have gone to different colleges/schools for two years always living an hour from each other and spending our weekends together.
This fall he is transferring schools and we will be living closer than ever before (~5 mins). I am getting an apartment near campus and I will live there by myself, which means most likely he will be living with me most of the time. We've talked about it and we both want it and if for some reason we need a break from each other, he still has a dorm to go to. On school breaks and things we've basically lived together for about a week and a half, but never more than that. But we haven't had any problems.
I love him very much and I know moving in together can cause problems in a relationship. We're very close and I don't want to lose my relationship. So I just wanted so advice on maybe what you wish you had done in a past relationship or current one when moving in together, or just something you wish you had known before going in to prepare yourself. :) | BF and I are moving in together, want advice on how to keep our relationship healthy and fun. |
t3_cogj8 | AskReddit | What would you do? | I was driving to my friends house to day. While traveling down a 35 MPH road approaching another busy intersection, I see a guy riding a bicycle in the gutter. He is not wearing a helmet, and he has a baby in the child seat on the back of the bike, barely strapped in, and no helmet either. I have personally seen 10 car vs. bicycle accidents in this exact intersection that we were approaching. As he followed behind me, he swerved out 1/4 of the way into the middle of a 4 lane road while looking behind at his kid nearly bouncing out of the seat, then swerved back across to the corner by the right turn lane. I thought he might be drunk and not stop at the corner. Thankfully he stopped. I was infuriated, I felt sick to my stomach. I thought about calling the Police, yet did not, I did nothing. Was I wrong? | Saw a guy riding a bike with an infant, sans helmet or proper seat belt, carelessly down a busy city street and did nothing, problem? |
t3_2v7svm | relationships | A friend [16F] who I am wondering if I should ask out (ME - [16M]) | #background info
We first talked in 2013. I sat next to her in maths for a couple of weeks (Every year in my school I've been sent down a group in maths then 2 weeks later the teacher says that it was a mistake and i get moved up again). I sit next to her in chemistry. We have no other subjects together. We are friends but not close friends.
#more info
I've wanted to ask her out for a while but never knew what to do. The Interview is showing in cinemas now so I was thinking of asking if she wanted to go with me. I just haven't had the mindset to do it yet. I've either overhyped myself and think that she doesn't deserve me or underhyped myself and think that I don't deserve her. This would be my first serious relationship if she said yes. If she says no I would feel humiliated.
#about me
I am overweight. Mainly because of my build/strength. I am the strongest person in my year at school. If you took away all of my body fat I would still be overweight. I am 5 foot 10.
#about her
I know she is older than me by anywhere between a month and a week and her birthday is coming up soon. She is very popular but 90% of the guys in my school either don't see her the way I do or are friend zoned. Me and her seem to have the same sort of sense of humour. I don't know what her interests are. | Should I ask her out? |
t3_339i7t | dating_advice | [M28] how does the mixed signals thing work? | Hello reddit.
I am very confused with a situation that has happened recently in two different instances. I don't want to think I am reading too much into this and that I am acting out just as I am expected, but I am asking because I honestly hate not knowing what to do about this dating stuff.
In two different ocasions, with two different girls in my same age group and similar study circumstances, I have been talking with each of them separately and each of them, out of the blue, started talking about how much they can't afford to have a boyfriend in this moment.
I didn't pay much attention to it, but the topic has raised a couple more times, and on those times it was always them being the ones to bring it up, I never insinuated neither asking them out, nor how much fun they are to hang out with or anything, they simply start commenting on that they can't have a boyfriend in this point in their lives.
I would lie if I said that I don't find them interesting, fun and/or attractive, but if they say they don't want a boyfriend, then I get it, they don't, but why does the topic seem to arise when they are talking to me?
As I said, I didn't pay much attention to it on the first time, but it has repeated and I couldn't help but notice the pattern.
So please people, can you let me know wether it just happens to be that this girls are comfortable talking to be about their singlessness or are they sending some mixed signal that I am failing to pick up? | Different girls bring up they can't have a boyfriend while talking to me in different ocasions. Can't tell wether they are sending some sort of signal or it could be a coincidence and I am reading too much into it. |
t3_39teip | relationships | Me [21M] with a girl [21F] I went out on a few dates with. Am I a dick for being concerned with her weight in the back of my head? | Long story short, I met this girl on tinder. Her pictures were either one year old or at a certain angle, so I didn't suspect a thing. When I met her in real life, she was definitely bigger, and not by a small margin. I decided not to jump to quick conclusions and see where this goes.
We went out a few more times, and I actually like her, she has a great personality/interests/etc., but I still get this annoying buzz in the back of my head telling me that she is overweight and that I can do better. I don't really doubt I can, but I like her as a person. She used to be very normal sized her whole life until she started gaining weight about a year ago. And it absolutely kills me to see her back then pictures because she was simply stunning.
As things are starting to get more serious, I don't know what to do. I don't want to break it off with her because she is a great person and I like her, but the thought that a year ago she used to have such an amazing figure and now she is overweight eats me up on the inside.
I would've been totally down for exercising/lifting/running/whatever with her. However, I don't think there is a way I can bring up this issue with her without leaving her terribly offended and crushed.
As for myself, I am a 6ft 155lb guy. I used to go to gym a lot, but I hit a very difficult period in school, so I didn't go in a while, but I actually lost some weight after stopping rather than gaining (sedentary lifestyle combined with the lack of time leaves me feeling less hungry than normal). | Normal guy who went on a few dates with a girl who used to have a stunning figure and who is now overweight, but otherwise a great person. I am very conflicted |
t3_21pdig | relationships | I (25f) want to try out being more serious with undefined guy (28m) I've been seeing for 4 months. | About 4 months ago, I (25f) started talking to an acquaintance (28m) at a mutual friend's party. We hit it off, hooked up, and have been hanging out about 1-2 times per week since then. When we get together, we have very good conversations, sex, sleep, food. It seems to be a pretty standard fwb type relationship in my book. We have opposite work schedules (I work nights, he works days), and typically only have one night off together.
We've never really discussed whether we are exclusive or not. I've slept with one other guy one time since I've been sleeping with him. He's mentioned that when he's with a girl, he tends to be fairly monogamous. I wouldn't mind to be officially exclusive, but only if it's something that's important to him.
In the beginning, I was very clear about the fact that I was pretty nervous about relationships and guys in general (due to a really bad relationship I recently got out of). At the time, he said he had pretty similar feelings about relationships for similar reasons. I think my feelings are starting to change, and I find myself wanting to see him more often then our usual 1-2 times a week. I also find myself wanting to hang out with him in real life situations, not just at our houses. I don't want to be his girlfriend or hang out everyday or anything, I just want a little more than what we have going.
What would be a good way to feel out his feelings on the matter, and/or bring it up to him? I want to make sure that a) it doesn't make things weird between him if he's satisfied with our current situation or b) have him go full-fledged into serious relationship mode. | I (25f) am confused about my feelings about situation with my fwb (28m) of 4 months. I want to push the relationship a bit more to the serious side, and am trying to figure out the best way to go about it. |
t3_qg067 | relationships | amazing boyfriend but horrd in dreams...need advice | Hey everyone...
This is not a throwaway account because i don't feel this defines me as a person one way or another.
anyway, my bf and i are 26f (me) and 29m (him). we have been together for 1.5 years...i love my boyfriend. he is kind, generous, and very giving. he's not the most romantic person however he tries (but not always.) overall, he's amazing and when i'm awake for the most part i like him as a human being and love him dearly.
in my dreams is a whole other story. it has come to the point that i actually don't enjoy sleeping because at least once or twice a week i have these horrid dreams of him being really mean. in my dreams, he's usually avoiding me, or saying something super mean, or leaving me to be with someone else.
It's getting so ridiculous that one day I dreamt of him as a huge blue owl and he was breaking up with me.
We tell eachother absolutely everything and I have told him how screwed up my dreams are and once I tell him we laugh about it.
Has anyone else had this problem? Can anyone give me any noteworthy advice? I'm perplexed.
Thanks guys! | bad dreams about boyfriend making me worry about relationship in real life. need advice. |
t3_1ixxfv | relationships | I [M/18] have recently discovered that my father [M/56] is cheating on my mother in a BDSM relationship. I need advice. | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Ok, so - some backstory:
My father has, for the past few months, been mysteriously leaving the house for vague reasons in order to go to the same location out of state. He would use excuses such as: "My phone is broken and I need to get it fixed" or "I have a business meeting" with no further context.
After a while of this happening, I began to find it extremely suspicious and out of character for my father. I goggled his online username, and found various websites that he was signed up to in regards to BDSM relationships. These websites were based in the same location that he was going to repeatedly over the past few months.
I am fairly proficient with computers, and I installed a Trojan on my father's computer in order to get to the bottom of this. I know this may seem like an invasion of privacy, but the evidence stacked against him was too high for me to not take this step for the safety and integrity of my family.
Unsurprisingly, I found that my father had been engaged in an adulterous relationship with another woman out of state. I am now here, typing this message to you all in order to get some advice.
I have siblings of the ages of 10 and 12, and I don't know how they would react to this if I were to reveal this information to my mother. Obviously this would lead to a chain reaction ending in a divorce.
Any advice would be appreciated. | Found out my father is being unfaithful to my mother with another woman out of state. Need advice. |
t3_30xjx5 | relationship_advice | She (23/F) is sorta distant, me (25/M) dealing with past issues. | So my story is my past two relationships ended with my SO's cheating on me. It's given me some issues in regards to feeling "undesired"
I met a wonderful girl a few months back, and we hit it off. But she's distant if we aren't together, she never texts me first, responds briefly if at all hours later, and she rarely initiates get-togethers or dates.
Recently we had a talk about future plans, and the conversation very much went into future life-together territory. Kids, places we want to live, etc. So I took that as a good sign, but the lack of affection or initiative on her part is bothering me.
I've disclosed to her that I'm having some anxiety in general, and that's it's not directed at her, just comes from my hang ups of how my last 2 relationships ended.
I don't want to bombard her with "you should text me or initiate dates" and come off as being overly clingy, even though that's basically what I am at this point.
Just looking for any perspective/advice. | I have anxiety, girlfriend isn't very affectionate or communicative when we aren't physically together. |
t3_1pqfhd | relationships | I[21M] have been close with her[21F] for the past couple years, and I don't know if she even thinks of me that way | I first met her a couple years ago working at a summer camp that I work at each summer. She's the type of girl that always has guy friends around her; not the typical girly girl. Last summer she helped me match up with my current roommate, who, coincidentally, had an apartment in the same complex as her.
I've always had an attraction to her, but it was never more than a crush, until recently. As I've been spending more time with her, I've noticed so many commonalities that we share. We always get along so well. the thing is, I can't tell at all if she is seeing what I'm seeing. I like to think that I can read people and situations pretty well, but she's different.
On Halloween, I offered to drive her back home to see her family since she doesn't own a car. It was a ton of fun, her family is crazy, and I got a lot of one on one time with her. Honestly, it was the most fun I've had on a Halloween in years (I associate that date with an ex-gf of mine so it's usually a day of bad memories for me). When we got back, we spent hours working on a puzzle (she loves puzzles that are just ridiculous, you should see this monstrosity on my table right now) and flirting. She left for the night because she had to get up early today for a flight, where she is visiting friends for the weekend.
I'm going to ask her out this coming week, when she returns, but I don't know how to go about doing it. She's super busy all the time, because of her work and school, so I'm worried that I'll get turned down just because of that. Also, she's over at my apartment a lot because both my roommate and I are good friends with her, so I don't know how to make sure she knows I'm asking her out rather than just asking her to come hang with us.
I haven't asked a girl out in just over six years, because I had a long-term girlfriend. I don't feel like I even know how to begin. | Meet super cool person at a summer camp. Being kinda attracted to her. Get to know her, she's super cool. Don't know how to ask her out properly. |
t3_3ijii0 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my past friend? [15 F] for a year, To apologize for past mistakes or not? | Alright reddit this is my first serious post on reddit. So to begin some background information.
I was a 6th grader and a new girl(Jaime) had just transferred into my science class. I quickly began to be a friend to her as I was sitting at her table. I was funny and friendly and we texted quite often. A year passes and we are in the same PE class. A few months into the year we are jogging back to the lockers and one of her friends approaches me saying basically that she likes me with (Jaime) standing next to me. For some reason, my 7th grade self totally fucking panics and I just run to the locker without saying anything. I just basically avoided her for the rest of the year and don't talk to her. Now a few years later I'm in sophomore year and I've gotten a few classes in between 7th grade and now with her . I haven't spoken a word to her at all not because I don't like her but because I feel so damn awkward around. Now I've really been thinking and I feel like I should apologize for being a total douche. I don't have any classes with her this year but I see her afat the library often after school. If I should apologize, how should I go about it and what should I say. I want to repair the actions I've done in the past and I feel like this should be the beginning.
Reddit. I need your advice on what to do. | Was friend w/girl in 6th grade. Rejected by running away and and avoiding in 7th. Now want to apologize in 10th |
t3_2f4dtm | askwomenadvice | Me, a Young [22M] virgin need a women's prospective/advice please | So brief background, I'm 22 and a virgin and last night I went out with a girl, (our second date). Anyways we went out with her friend, got drunk, went to clubs. Basically had a great time. One thing led to another, we ended up back at her place making out clothes quickly leaving both of us. Anyways as things progress, we realized that I couldn't get it hard. At first she thought I was hard till i got frustrated, we thought it was the alcohol, but when we tried the next morning, we got the same results. It was at this time that I revealed I was indeed a virgin the next morning and shocked her with that bit of info.
Anyways the thing I'm worried about is that she may think I am not attracted to her. I think she said something the first time. I can't remember clearly, but definitely remember her saying something along the lines of 'don't worry, everyone's alcohol response is different. we'll see in the morning how you are'. I she said the last part as a joke, but I'm not sure.
So ladies what I want to know is, would you be offended/hurt by this? I told her I was a bit nervous since it was my first time. And I feel bad I couldn't get it up all the way. Also, I DO want to go out with her again. Should I apologize? I plan on telling her we should go a bit slower, but that I still want to go out with her. Any advice on what to tell her? | I'm a virgin, and I couldn't get hard, twice. I don't want her to think that I am not attracted to her. Ladies would you think your guy wasn't attracted to you? Would you be offended by this or hold this against the guy? Should I apologize for it? |
t3_26eb9q | relationships | Me [22M] and my high school sweetheart [21F] broke up 5 months ago after 6.5 years of dating. I cannot stop thinking about her or dreaming about her. help. | We broke up just about 5 months ago, and the first few weeks I was more or less ok with it, we were fighting a bit more then, so it felt good to not fight. Since then, I have tried to contact her a few times (bad, i know), but she seems to be handling this breakup far better than I, even though throughout our relationship, she was always very loving and caring. She has not attempted to contact me what-so-ever, which saddens me even more, and makes me feel like the better half of a decade can be brushed aside like that. I joined a gym, got out more, etc, but nothing seems to help stop the thoughts. I dream about her every night almost, and it drives me insane, because I cannot control that no matter what I do. I just don't know how to make peace with the fact that she is no longer in my life, and that I am alone again.
What also doesn't help is that I am home for the summer, and most of my friends are home as well, so I only have a few people I can hang out with, and as of now. | Long term girlfriend and I break up, cant stop thinking or dreaming about her. |
t3_53vur5 | legaladvice | I bought a used car in PA 3 weeks ago, told there would be a warranty, and the transmission went today and looking through the paperwork, the warranty was signed away. | So I bought a used car from a used car dealership in PA. When we were test driving it, we drove it 3 times, and the dealer told myself and my father that it came with a 3 month, engine and transmission warranty. Obviously in a used car, that appealed to us greatly.
My father was out of town, so I put the car in my mother's name, but I commute to university so I had to get to class, and had to leave before the paperwork was signed and finalized. Well it seems the salesman neglected to tell my mother about the warranty, and she signed it away, thinking myself and my father agreed on no warranty.
It is partly my fault because we let the salesman rush us. We wanted to wait for the end of the week, but he wanted to finalize the sale before the end of the month in August. The car also had to be inspected, which we were told took 2 days because the car was not a high end car. We bought the car on 8/31/2016.
When we got the car home, I started noticing things wrong. There is a coolant leak from a cheaply fixed radiator hose, and some steering component is worn out. I sent the car to transmission shop, and the transmission is shot and needs to be replaced for $2250.
I know the warranty was signed away, but I know there is no way the dealer, which has it's own shop could sell this car and not know about the damage. The coolant was clearly cleaned up so I find it hard to believe they did not know about it. Do we have a leg to stand on, or did all hope go away with signing away the warranty? | Bought a used car, told there would be a warranty when test driving, no warranty at sale 3 days later. Transmission needs replacing after 3 weeks. Is there anything we can do? |
t3_4m2iv3 | relationships | Me [23 M] with the girl I'm dating [19 F]. Third date. I've never been in a relationship and I need advice in case things get serious. | So I met this girl on OKCupid, and so far I've been on 2 dates. .Both on the same day.(so 1 date?) One at 12 am where we met for the first time and went to drink some coffee, and the second time, later that evening when she invited me to this stand up at a pub.
The second time we met, I kissed her... to be fair, we passionately kissed each other a number of times, she was touchy feely, but subtle ( caressing my legs, my arms etc), and the night ended perfectly.
We are set up to meet again tomorrow in a park. The thing is,' I've never been in a relationship and I have no experience on how to proceed in the future. We both seem to like each other so.. how do things usually progress to something more serious? Do we just go on more dates? Does it have to be something different each time? I just like being with her, the location doesn't matter, and I can't afford restaurants and stuff like that, I'm in a bad spot financially, because I am a student and other unimportant details...
To get to the point. We both like each other, how should this evolve? How does it usually evolve? When is it appropriate for me to invite her to my place?(not necessarily for sex, although that would be a great bonus).
What about texting? Do you guys text your SO every day? When I have nothing interesting to say I just say "hey, how are you" add a kiss emoji, to which she usually reciprocates. Yesterday she was the one who texted me first and I was happy since that shows she's as interested as I am. But how will this evolve from now on?
How is a relationship maintained once two people are in one? What do you do daily? | Met a girl. I've never been in a relationship. We both seem to like each other and things might be getting serious. I need advice on "how to relationship". |
t3_30193p | relationships | Me [17F] getting back together with my [20M] ex of 3 months? | My ex broke up with me several months ago for no serious reason. I think he just felt that "the grass was greener somewhere else", and wanted to try being single for awhile since he is a little older than I am and wanted freedom. We've kept in touch since then, and just recently asked me if I'd like to get back together. He knows I would jump at the chance to have him back, since I am still very much in love with him.
However, I have some doubts. Since our breakup, I know he has been texting several girls/has dating profiles he visits frequently, but never seems to actually do anything in person with anyone. I'm questioning that if we get back together, will he ever grow up and stop the online games he plays with these girls - receiving pictures from them, flirting, etc.
I'd appreciate any advice on what to do. We could always stay friends and see what the future holds, but while the option is available, I'm tempted to take him back. | Ex boyfriend is willing to get back together with me, but I don't know if he'll end his new habits. |
t3_2twiyt | tifu | TIFU by pulling my earring and getting the backing stuck in the hole | I was wearing earrings 6 days ago,as per usual, and I was casually playing with the earring on my right ear. Suddenly, my friend pushed me to surprise me. I flinched and pulled my earring out really hard. I assumed I had lost the backing in the grass because I could not find it anywhere.
Fast forward three days, my ear got a huge bump, and it was infected. I went to the doctor, and he prescribed me some pills to kill off the infection, which he thought was just a blister/pimple.
The next day I got irritated with the bump and started squeezing. I noticed that there was something really hard inside, and it wasn't just pus lol
I decided to slit my earring hole with a knife, squeezed, and out came the backing of my earring. I now have to wait to see if it will heal without closing the hole, or I'll just have to wait and get it repierced. | backing got stuck in my earring hole, and I'm a badass. |
t3_s9bnv | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the weirdest advice you have ever received? | This is my story:
When i was little i watched a lot of family movies. Thing i was fascinated about was that for main characters there always was a relative or good friend who gave them a pretty good life advice. The one day i decided i also want to have that kind of person, the first person i thought about was my american grandma, so i went to her in that day and asked to give me life advice which could help me in my way of life. I don't know if she was high or something (she loved to roll some joints), but this is advice which she gave me in that day: "Son, if someday your nigger slave runs away, get the watermelon" | I asked for a life advice to my american grandma (who probably was high at the moment) and she answered: "Son, if someday your nigger slave runs away, get the watermelon" |
t3_4zy56l | relationships | Me [21F] trouble with my boyfriend [24M] 2months relationship... Cheating or Not? | So, I just found out my boyfriend has been looking at nudes of girls on reddit and that he's been commenting on them as well. One of the posts included the nudes of a girl who asked if people would tell her what they wanted to do with her and his response was "Yes" (he'd tell her what he wanted to do with her).
Aaaaand, he doesn't like me flirting with anyone.
Mind you, I'm not against my boyfriend looking at porn and jerking off or anything but I'm annoyed at the fact that he said yes to something like that.
Does it count as cheating or not? It's kind of upsetting.
I'm going to be talking about this to him when he gets home. | He commented on some (anonymous) chick's nudes, when he has a problem with me flirting with other anyone else. I DO NOT have a problem with him jerking off to porn or anything of the sort, just him he wanted to tell her what he'd do to her, THAT'S what's upsetting me. I'm not sure if this counts as cheating or not cause we haven't really decided on what's acceptable and what's not. I stopped flirting with guys and girls cause he didn't like it, but, then I find out he did this. (I flirt because I have trouble starting up regular conversations cause I'm extremely shy). |
t3_j7ib4 | AskReddit | Is my girlfriend's lack of father an excuse for her overly-physical salutations with her friends? | Hey guys, not sure how to feel about this issue.
A little background information, we are 20(ish), her father died when she was 11, we've been dating on and off over 6 years, dated for 4 in total now.
From day 1, I felt I was thrown the male role model of their house. Of course I was the only male, but it was tasks such as cutting the grass (because my girlfriend would refuse or couldn't) watching the cats when they were on vacation, staying at the house while they are gone, watching over the parties (birthdays) while her mom is at the bar, or recently cooking the bbq that was an hour late (due to her mom being at the bar) and unbeknowest to me and all my girlfriend's guests.
When I question my girlfriend about why she always has to hug every guy each time we leave, hug when she see's them, wrap her arm around some of them, even pictures of kissing them on the cheeks is appropiate, she always answers with her lack of family providing affection, so she is really close with her friends.
Several times I've commented how it made me feel, even going into dept like "you never wrap your arm around me at a party, so why would you do it to my friend?"
Now I don't object to the possibility of this, but is this a bullshit thing? Am I over-reacting or is this my insecurity telling me I need to pay attention to it. I can't say how it'd be without a mother growing up, and being super close with my (girl)friends because I have no affection. | Girlfriend says her lack of family affection is the reason why she is always hugging/kissing on cheek/flirting with friends of mine and hers. Am I over-reacting, or is my insecurity the right thing to listen to? |
t3_19prpt | loseit | [SV] I did not exercise, but instead changed my eating habits and lost 5 lbs! 20/M/163lbs | I am 20 yr old man, 5'7" 163lbs.
Back around New Years Eve, I said that I wanted to be healthier and lose some weight. I weighed around 169 at the timeThe first week or two of 2013 was fairly active, I attended the gym maybe twice a week, but once classes resumed, I fell back into my slump. While I lacked the energy and motivation to go to the gym or for a run, I still decided to stay determined on a healthy diet. After two months of smaller portions and lots of veggies, I noticed I am 5 pounds lighter! Starting today I have intentions of starting the P90 Challenge and burn all this excess fat.
I guess this post is for all the people out there who want to loseit but lack the energy and motivation. Small changes in your eating habits can change a lot! I have a friend who lost 40lbs on just healthy eating habits. | Didn't exercise, but changed eating habits. Lost 5lbs! |
t3_2sw6kr | jobs | I currently work in the adult industry but am looking to get out. How do I address this when applying for jobs? | After graduating with a B.A. in 2012, I had a really tough time finding a full time job in my field. I managed to get a really good opportunity at a non-profit but it was *extremely* part-time, as in a single 3 hour shift once a month. I ended up finding a part-time retail gig but was unable to support myself and had to move in with my parents. It took me over a year after moving in with them to get an offer for a full-time job in my field that allowed me to support myself. The problem was, it was in the adult industry, and my true passion lies in more family-friendly non-profits. I was desperate so I took it.
It's been a year working here and I've learned some decent transferable skills. The job isn't bad but I'm not happy here and want to follow my passion. Now that I feel confident enough to apply for the jobs I want, I am both terrified and mortified. While the name of my company isn't obvious that it is in the adult industry, a quick Google search will confirm it.
I still kept the part-time job at the non-profit and for the past 2.5 years very occasionally work weekends there. Finally a new position has now opened up there and I want to apply. I may or may not be fully qualified but it sounds so amazing I can't pass it up. Unfortunately due to my few hours on the job I don't have any rapport with the other employees. I feel like my boss barely knows me since we never work at the same time and my work is very independent. She doesn't know my full-time job is in the adult industry but she'll know when I apply for this position. The non-profit is a very family friendly place so I'm not sure if they'll accept it. | I'm assuming many employers will see the fact that I've worked in the adult industry as a deal breaker, am I right? |
t3_2p8gif | tifu | TIFU by trying to flush my candy water concoction | I am a college student, and this time of year means finals. I'm currently at school waiting for my finals to begin, which is next week, and so I'm trying to study like a good student. However, as many of you many know studying can get very boring. I find myself making myself a cup of ramen and enjoying my box of gobstoppers, you know those candy balls that change color and flavors?? Well I finish my ramen and I'm left with half a pot of boiling water. So I do what any other bored college student would do, I pour all my gobstoppers into my blender ball cup, the ones with the metal spring ball in it. It fizzes and pops and turns a nasty color. No way was I drinking that. I carry my concoction over to the toilet and down the drain it goes. The last thing I saw go through the toilet was a waterfall of brown liquid and ofcourse that metal spring ball. I am really hoping it doesn't clog up the toilet or damage any of the plumbing... I've already set the smoke alarm off in the dorm this year, I'd rather not have broken the building's plumbing. | I flushed my blender ball down the toilet. |
t3_1jkznb | AskReddit | For those of you employed in a career or job that you truly love, did you always know you'd end up doing that for a living or did you spend a long time looking to find a job that is fulfilling? | I'm 21, set to graduate from the university of Miami this coming May as an accounting major. After a not-so-satisfying (in terms of the type of work I had to do) tax accounting internship, I've been questioning if i have the right path for my future. I've considered manual work for a while, sales, possibly retail, and even enlisting in the coast guard (I,really like the possibility of the coast guard but there are so many enlisted right now it would be hard to advance). Anyway I've spent hours researching careers and want to hear from those of you in a job you really love.
Please say how you hot started in that career, and why you love it
Some things to know about me. I really don't work behind a desk my whole life. I want to travel a bit, which is why I'm interested in the coast guard. I don't mind getting my hand dirty. I love working out and whatever i choose would ideally allow me to continue to exercise and/or workout a few times a week. | having trouble finding a career, would like to find a job that starts as entry level with little outside knowledge, which could turn into a lifelong pursuit. Ideally not a desk job. |
t3_2e0m69 | personalfinance | Share Incentives from my employer... worth it? | Hi there PF,
I'm a 19 y/o male in the UK, started a 3yr apprenticeship with a large firm. I currently invest £60 of my monthly wage (~£800 take home) into the company's share incentive scheme. The company matches my contribution and buys shares with it.
£60 is not a small amount of money for me at the moment. I moved 300 miles away from home, friends and family and now I am independent. £60 a month would likely cover the cost of my car, and I don't know whether it would be better off saved in a bank account.
The information pack I was given says:
Partnership shares (the ones i buy with my contribution)
* can be taken from the plan at any time, but I will have to pay income tax and NI
* after 5 years from purchase, there are no deductions.
the Matching shares (the ones i am awarded by the company)
* cant be removed for 5 years
* forfeited if i leave the company before 3 years
the dividend shares
* any dividends i get on my partnership shares or matching shares are used to buy dividend shares
* cant be taken out until 3 years after purchase
*after 3 years they are deduction free
Okay so, hope that makes sense, I barely understand it... seems like a raw deal unless you plan on staying with the company till you die.
Not sure if thats gonna be the case for me - should i call it quits and cut my losses, invest into something more liquid now? only been paying out for 8 months.
Thanks for reading, appreciate it! | shares lock me in for years, are they even worth the wait? |
t3_2pyco2 | relationships | My(20f) boyfriends(22m) ex-girlfriend(46f) won't leave him alone. | My (20F) SO (22M) and I have been together a bit over a year, today we'll call him "Jake". We have a great relationship and we both love each other dearly. We have our disputes over stupid stuff that usually blows over within minutes, not regularly but some times- like any healthy relationship.
Anyway not a whole lot annoys me about this guy, except his ex-girlfriend (46?F) who constantly texts/calls him, calls him babe, askes him to meet up, etc. I've told him I feel uncomfortable with it but I don't want to be 'that jealous/over-protective girlfriend'.. I guess I wouldn't care so much if he didn't message my ex-boyfriend and tell him to fuck off. And I should add that I never replied to my ex. Ever.
I've never gone through Jakes phone but I've seen 2 messages on his screen when he's asked me to check the time on his phone and both times there's been messages from her both messages holding the word babe and 'xoxo'. I'm just not comfortable with it. And I do trust him. I do trust he's never met up with her or anything but I'm not the type of person to snoop and when I ask him he tells me I'm just jealous and they're friends. Am I just jealous? Or is it inappropriate for them to be texting so often? And what the hell can I do to stop it without seeming like a jealous psycho?! | my boyfriends ex won't stop messaging him inappropriate things. Don't know what to do/how to handle it |
t3_1udb0y | relationships | The man [M28] that I'm [F23] seeing said something last night has irked me, and brought up a lot of questions... | Hello reddit. Been feeling shitty about this all day, and I feel stupid even feeling like this. Let me explain.
I started seeing a guy in October. It's been great, he's sweet and kind, everything has been going smoothly and we've steadily been getting closer as time goes on. We both live in our own places, and have been seeing more and more of each other. We started sleeping together around Halloween, and I lost my virginity to him (which he knows).
We did establish right away that he didn't want a serious relationship, but that we were exclusive. I've been totally fine with this, though I am open to a relationship if that were to happen.
So last night we were laying in bed, post coitus, just talking and relaxing. The subject got on to my best friend and roommate [F20], and he said "she is just the cutest girl, so cute, her [positive trait 1] and her [positive trait 2], you just want to take care of her." I immediately was taken aback and felt like crying. It was just the worst time to say something like that. I didn't say anything, just sort of agreed and changed the subject.
This totally messed up my day today, I couldn't focus on work, and found that I started comparing my every trait with hers, and feeling resentment. I feel absolutely ridiculous that I'm feeling these things, but I am. I'm also not sure what to think since later that same night he was telling me about how he told his friends more about me and how great I am. It was a very weird compliment sandwich.
Is this something I should worry about, or talk to him about? Do guys generally find a girl to be annoying or needy for bringing up something like this? Should we have a conversation about our relationship status? | Guy I'm seeing said something about my best friend/roommate right after sex, I feel messed up about it. |
t3_1bnfjy | AskReddit | How to deal with a dyeing pet? | My family adopted a dog about 11 years or so ago. [(heres a pic if you really care.)] we all know she getting old and is going blind. (you can see it in her eyes.... literally...) last week I told my mom if anything I hope she doesn't get cancer and that kill her...my stupid mouth I know, well last night my mom found a lump/bump under her left leg and she is now having problems breathing. (she survived distemper really young but was left with breathing problems) My mom says she wont do anything until she is in pain but I know im going to have to tell her that she needs to go to the vet. My mom just got over depression and I think she is just in denial about it and im scared about what she may become if we have to put her down. | childhood dog is dyeing right before me, family is in denial. How can I deal with this/get my parents though this. Do you suggest getting a dog right after? or waiting? Do you suggest just moving on? |
t3_4r7cd9 | relationships | A friend of a friend [26 M] brought randomly a girl to my holiday house and had sex with her in the other room. Upsets me [29 M] a lot, what to do? | A friend [27 M] and a friend of his [26 M] are my guests at my holiday house for one night. The friend of the friend, spontaneously invites a girl he has met once in a refugee camp (they both volunteered there) to my holiday house and has sex with her early in the morning.
It was three of us sleeping in one room and the girl in the other. Early this morning, the friend of the friend went in that room and had sex with her. My friend woke up, brought his laptop and started working as if nothing was happening.
I woke up from the noises and told my friend that his friend is a jerk to bring strangers he met once in his life to have sex in my holiday house. And then I went out because I was angry. When I came back, 15 minutes later, sex was over and his friend told me that he is sorry but I am still very very angry. I felt that his act is very disrespectful.
My friend said he is sorry too and he added that he agrees it is uncool what his friend just did.
They are very good friends with eachother, maybe best friends. I have seen his friend like 2-3 times in my life, so I don't really know him well.
I am throwing a party tonight so I don't want this to ruin the evening, but I am so angry I just cant get rid of this feeling.
What should I do? I am very angry.
Am I right to be angry in this situation? | A friend of a friend [26 M] brought randomly a girl to my holiday house and had sex with her in the other room. Upsets me [29 M] a lot, what to do? |
t3_33fcm6 | tifu | TIFU- By Spoiling Harry Potter for a friends friend, by making a Game of Thrones Book. **HARRY POTTER SPOILERS** *No GOT spoilers* | So This happened a couple of weeks ago. Warning HP Spoiler ahead with Game of Thrones Base joke.
***
***
Ok, I gave you a chance unlike that unfortunate guy I ruined things for.
So as background, some of my college buddies and I are all over there board when it comes to what is happening in Game of Thrones. (Some of us have read all the books, some the show, others a mix...anyway you get the point.) And when we talk about GOT we joke about GOT happenings by saying, "Uhhh...uh I mean SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! So this is the background.
I was at a gathering with a neighbor and some of his friends (who are a few years older than myself), drinking beer and such. And we are talking about the up coming GOT season and during the discussion (as I have read the books and am farther ahead) said, out of habit, "Jamie...I mean...Jon Snow... Uh...uhhh.. uh SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!" And that was when one of his friends (Who is apparently reading the books for the first time and knows nothing past the third HP book.) Yells, "What the Fuck!" at me and continues, "I JUST GOT DONE WITH THE THIRD BOOK! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" I stood their mouth ajar trying to figure out what spell I could use to erase that memory. I felt terrible and still do. I RUINED HP FOR HIM! (Or one part at least) | Made inside GOT Joke to different friend group, ruined Dumbledore's death for him. |
t3_1qcrte | relationships | [21M] how do I handle [20F] constant flirting | So Ive got this really good friend who Ive been friends with for the past 4 years or so. She is probably my best girl friend. I am somewhat interested in her but always kept her on the back burner because I always figured I'd get the "we're just too good friends" shenanigan.
So she is very flirty with me, always calling me hubby and that Im her favorite and all that. We used to text every day, but now we dont text too often, which is usually a clear sign that she's not too interested in me. Cool, no big deal.
But she CONSTANTLY flirts with me and gets my hopes up. When Im with her in person, she is very talkative and I always get the vibe that she is interested in me. And because I am somewhat interested in her, every time she flirts and I try to make moves only to them come to no avail or not be returned, it bums me out and pisses me off. In one instance she did it so badly that I got so mad I didnt talk to her for a while, which she got upset about and kept pressing me what was wrong. | how do I handle a really flirty best friend who Im kind of interested in but when push comes to shove, nothing happens. |
t3_w3m39 | AskReddit | After reading about someone else's positive experience with Amazon my husband decided to call them about my stepson's broken Kindle and they said there was nothing they could do. Whats the worst customer care experience you've had? | Ok so I read about [this customer care experience] and after reading some of the positive comments about replacing Kindles and other products my husband decided to call them about his son's broken Kindle. He broke it 3 months after purchase by accidentally leaning on it while it was on his bed. We called in and they said that "accidents" weren't covered under the warranty and said they would charge us $70 to replace it. We forked out the money that time for it. Well, a few months later his 1 1/2 year old little sister leaned on it while climbing up on his bed when he wasn't in there and it cracked the screen once again. We never called in about it because we didn't have the money to replace it again. So today when we called we were given the same treatment as well as being told the product is now out of warranty so we would have to pay $65 for a replacement this time. Even after telling them we had heard of other people in the same situation getting a free replacement.
So reddit, what companies have you heard have good customer support, give you a bad experience? | Amazon wanted to charge me for a Kindle replacement a 2nd time when they give them to others free under the same situation. |
t3_1g0a47 | tifu | TIFU With airsoft | So today I was bored and just laying around and browsing on my phone. Then I randomly find one of my airaoft BB's on my bed and while I'm laying there on my phone just start to mess around with it in my hand. Then I put it by my ear and set it in the little gap part. Then as I go to take it put my finger knocks it in and it falls down into my ear canal. I then proceed to try and take it out but it's already lodged in. So now I'm on my way to the emergency room after trying everything I could to try and get it out so there's my f*ck up for today. | Messing around with an aairsoft BB and it fell in my ear and now I'm going to the emergency room haha. |
t3_3bdf4q | relationships | Looking for advice on how to cope with/distract myself (23M) from a two-year relationship that my partner (21F) isn't feeling anymore. | Hey guys, never posted here before but just need some advice/words of hope/to get this out there. I'm currently in a two-year relationship and my girlfriend told me a few weeks ago that she thinks we should take a break because she wants to experience being single.
It stems from me almost leaving in September and her thinking we were going to break up then because I was moving, but I ended up sticking around. I'm just miserable right now and don't know how to deal with this. This was my longest relationship, I love her to death and I can't imagine being without her.. | Don't know how to deal with my first serious break up. |
t3_2crgdx | relationships | What did you do with all of your ex's things? | When my ex (21,M) and I (18,F) first broke up, after 4 years together, I packed up everything (cards, photos) into a few boxes and gave a bunch of his things back.
Problem is, I keep finding more stuff of his even thought we have been broken up for almost half a year. A few shirts, a sweater of his that he gave me when I was 14 that I literally just found. I had forgotten all about. It's weird seeing those things hang in my closet, but I feel bad throwing them away. Those things represent a huge portion of my life. I feel heartless throwing them out, but it is strange knowing that my ex's clothes are hanging in my closet.
I also still have a few gifts from him. A nice rain jacket is still hanging on my door that I haven't worn in a long time. I feel like it's wasteful to throw away an expensive sweater, but it feel weird wearing it knowing it was a gift from him. I also have a few pairs of shoes that his mother gave to me.
Just wondering what I should do with all of this stuff in your opinion. | What should I do with all my ex's things? |
t3_1crbbg | cats | Honest question for cat owners of Reddit | So my girlfriend purchased a cat for me on valentines day this year. I have never owned one and have always been a dog person. I recently started letting the cat venture outside since the weather has been nice. We have a fenced backyard which the cat can get out of and other cats can get into. Today when she was coming inside I noticed that three larger cats (my neighbors) were all slowing walking towards her. It's not an issue when my dog is outside because he has become VERY protective of the cat, but he wasn't this time. MY QUESTION is whether or not it is safe to let her out there with the other larger cats. My cat is de-clawed in the front, but I have no idea about the other cats. Thanks in advance! | Just got my first cat, worried that bigger neighborhood cats are going to attack her outside. Need advice. |
t3_pqgsh | relationships | At what point is it my responsibility to tell my enamored friend that I'm not interested? | I'm 20F in college, friend in question is 20M.
He's interested in me.
We both know that I know. Everybody in our extracurricular social group knows and tries to set us up at every opportunity (seating us together, making awkward and not-subtle comments to us in conversations, etc).
THE PROBLEM: I'd turn him down, but he hasn't given me the opportunity. He hasn't asked me out, told me of his interest, or done **anything** direct. He's using the fact that I know and I haven't shut him down as my implicit agreement to his courting (I think). I feel so uncomfortable as I feel that the burden of responsibility has now been shifted to me.
**My Question:
At this point, am I allowed to sit him down, ask myself out for him, and then turn it down?** I don't want him to waste mental energy on me when I know the outcome.
**1. I feel like a really, really rotten person** for the fact that my inaction is leading him on. I also have nascent feelings of anger for him putting me in this position. I'm not sure which side is winning currently.
**2. What is my responsibility here? | Friend likes me, we both know I know but he won't ask me out/explicitly address it. What is my responsibility here?* |
t3_17a7dz | relationships | Green eyed monster at work: me (M27), her (F22) and him (M34) | I have this strange situation and I really think reddit can help me on how to take it.
I'm M27 and have/had a crush on the F22 co-worker. She wanted to make friends with me but came out as flirty rather than friendly. So I asked her out. Then she revealed she has a boyfriend and I backed down. This other co-worker (M34) is a married man (10+ years) and used to be my friend (common hobbies type of friendship now that I think about it).
These two flirt almost daily. He initiates most of the time, and she accepts the attention but does not get that flirty with him. Sometimes she initiates but keeps it friendly. Somehow she's trying to ignore his flirting but she does crave his attention. They started getting lightly physical (touches etc.),
I'm trying to contain my jealousy. Basically what I'd tell these two is: "What is wrong with you? You both have long term relationships. What is this game you're playing?" but I know I have no right. Maybe I'm a head in the clouds romantic, but what they do is pretty low behavior. Monkeys do not let go of a branch until they hang on to another, but people should have character, right?
This has been going on for a few months now.
How can I take all this? I still have to work with these people but it really bothers me. Am I on a moral high ground? Or am I a stuck up shut in guy, and free love is in vogue nowadays? | Broken love triangle. Him and her are almost cheating on their partners. I'm jealous and judgmental. Every time he makes her laugh *that* way I die a bit inside. |
t3_3cxjg9 | offmychest | I am trying to be a good man but... | Last Wednesday, after i finished my afternoon shift and came back home at midnight. I caught a train and before I took a sit, I saw a wallet under the bench. I picked it up immediately. There were not much people around. Normally only 5 or 6 persons travel at midnight and i was the only one for the whole carriage. No cash in the wallet but it has full details of the one who dropped it. There are 2 car's licenses ( man vs woman or husband and wife, i guess) , 3 bank cards, 1 medicare card for a family of 4, a heath care card, some cards of shopping store but no phone number. First thing i wanna did is find a way to return a wallet to that people. I thought of handing it to train staff but there was only one staff who is the driver working on the train at that moment and he was too busy. So i decided to bring it home. After that, i tried to find the wallet's man. I googled his name and luckily found him on facebook. I sent him a couple message like " Are u the one live at this address, i dont know how you lost your wallet and i found it on train. I want to return it to you with no costs so please contact me soon as we find a way to meet each other."
Here a problem, because me and him are not friend on FB which mean my messages will go to the Others and he hasnt checked it. 3 days already and he still hasnt seen my message. I cant add friend him because he locked it so I just helpless.
One thing disturbing me is, you know the man need help and you can help him easily. You can see him, you can send him a message but somehow he just can not see you. I know he can cancel all the card and get a new one but i can help him save a lot of time.
I will wait until next Monday, if he still not reply my messages, I will give the wallet to the train station where i picked it. | found a wallet on train, dont know how to return it. |
t3_3lsyrx | relationships | My [23F] Mum [56F] has threatened to call my work place before I've even started! | My Mum wanted me to visit her for 3 months (as mentioned in my older post). Everyone agreed that this is unreasonable as I have just graduated from University and am currently seeking employment. My Mum lives on another continent and wants me to see her. She always gets what she wants. This time I said no, because I need to focus on this job and they need me to start Oct 1st. She wanted me to meet her in Sydney from Oct 1st - 7th. I said I cannot because you can't START a job with an absence.. And most of my family has said is that I finally need to stand up for myself and only go if I want to. I don't want to.. I didn't tell her that, but yeah. So now she is threatening to call my work. I'm not sure what she will say and don't know how to expect. She is literally trying to sabotage me.
How should I handle it? Brace for impact? Should I say anything to my colleagues (I haven't started working yet!)? What do I do??? She won't listen at all. | Mum is threatening to call work - not sure what she will say. How do I prepare/explain myself?? |
t3_36lisc | offmychest | I am your worst prom date, fitting you with boredom and a future of regret | My friend asked me to prom (not sure why but eh) and he's been a good friend of mine for like 5/6 years. Since we go to different schools, we agreed (mostly he asked which one I wanted to go to and I was like both?) to go to both of our proms.
Now, I had a lot of fun at his prom. I felt really special and his friends were really nice and I was so happy the whole time.
But I'm having mine in a month and I'm starting to worry that I can't give him that special feeling that I felt at his prom. I mean, his friends are nice and they really are close friends. Now my friends? My friends are from all over the place. I never really fit into a 'group' and made friends on an individual basis. I never had a crew to call my own and I'm really worried that this will detract from the night? I mean, isn't it kind of sucky if your date doesn't really have a cohesive group that will go take pictures, dance, etc with you all night? Especially if you don't know anyone else at that school? And some of my closer friends aren't even going because their significant others' parents won't let their kid go so I'll have even less friends there. (Maybe one isn't going by choice though)
/of course this led to the 'oh no I don't have close friends at all where did I go wrong?' thought train/
But I had thought about getting him flowers and making cake pops and the whole shebang cos I really just want him to feel special on prom night. But now I'm realizing maybe I can't because of my crappy inadequate self that can't make and keep friends. Like I wish I could do the 'I'm going to pick you up at 4:00 and I have everything figured out for us' sort of thing that he did for his prom night. | I have no friends, will fail at making prom night special for my date, and I still don't know why he asked me to prom in the first place. |
t3_17to8g | AskReddit | Men of Reddit, what's your best awkward-boner moment? | Mine just happened: my gf is making jalapenos poppers for a Super Bowl party and she rubbed her eyes with her hands that had jalapenos residue on them. She paced around the kitchen in pain for a minute or two as it got worse and then decided a shower would sooth the burn. While she jumped in the shower, I googled how to help. Answer: pour milk on her. So I got the milk out of the fridge and poured cups of milk onto my gf's face while she was naked in the shower. Kinda went from 6 to midnight. At least 10:30. But she was in pain, so I felt awkward to be displaying a boner. | dumped load after load of white cream on my gf's face at her request all while she screamed in pain |
t3_182ce6 | dogs | my dogs is chewing all my stuff, this needs to stop! help | i woke up this morning my dog was all happy i thought everything was ok. i walk into the other room... great...
ripped paper, various different coloured bits of plastic. At first I'm like whatever pens and mechanical pencils. those are commonly destroyed now days even if up on a counter or table she still gets them.
then i saw it ... the bitch (literally) destroyed my 150$ blue tooth. I need this and i cant afford a new one right now.
If this was the first time she's destroyed electronics .... but no!
she seems to go after electronics frequently.
i got her at the pound 7 months ago, and I'm starting to want to send her back. she's a really great dog in every other aspect besides peeing submissively.
i want to keep her, but i cant have her chewing stuff to bits. seriously when right next to the wreckage pile is her chew toys. i put away my stuff on my desk, but not she still get them.
help me, help her stop! | my dog is chewing all my plastic stuff, how to i stop her? |
t3_1y2tpe | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 9 months - My girlfriend is harming herself | Please try to not deem this problem as unimportant based on my age
----
2 years ago my girlfriend used to physically harm herself with a razor to the arms and legs due to depression related issues. We are approaching the end of our school lives and with university on the horizon the pressure is mounting. She lives with two relatively un-supportive and overly-protective 'helicopter parents'. Things between us have always been great and only seem to be getting better, however 2 months ago she began to harm herself again. It is not for attention as I am the only one who she has been willing to tell. I convinced her to talk to her parents about it and they have been unhelpful, maybe even uncaring. They think she has stopped yet I know she has not and am very concerned that she may continue with this self-destructive behaviour. Attempts to convince her to see a professional have either been brushed off or met with hostility. Please help | Girlfriend has begun to self harm and I have been unsuccessful in helping her |
t3_w00d9 | dating_advice | friends with benefits with feelings involved | I am 19 year old female involved with a 19 year old male. We were previously involved with each other a little over a year ago and have remained really close friends since. He is a student at a military academy and I go to school across the country.
Anyway, this past week he has been home on leave and we ended up having sex and decided to be friends with benefits. I brought up rules, mostly because I wanted to see what he wants in the future and to get a better idea of what our relationship is. After talking, we both know we want to be together and like each other. He doesn't want to commit to a relationship right now since academy life is demanding but possibly in the future would be open to a relationship. I don't really want to be with anyone else and wouldn't mind some sort of exclusivity and I told him that, but the timing is just wrong. I really don't know what to do. Should I wait things out or should I move on? I feel like this happened really fast and I don't want to make any rash decisions. I have three weeks to think things over until he is home again and am open to any advice. | Unsure how I should approach a friends with benefits relationship when we both have feelings for each other, but are living a couple thousand miles apart. |
t3_2ecbej | relationships | Me [19 M] and my girlfriend [19 F] are in a long distance relationship.Lacking communication. | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over three months. We've been friends though since about last October. We met at college, a little after she decided to transfer to another school. This new school is in Alabama whereas mine is in New York. We decided to try long distance. I knew that there would be less texting and skyping between us. I did not know that there would be this small of an amount.
The first few days were fine. We texted normally and had actual conversations. Lately though, she has seemed more distant and concise with her texts. It also seems like if I don't text her, we don't talk at all. She tells me she's just busy making new friends and going to class, but no one is so busy that they can't text their boyfriend for ten minutes.
Maybe i'm just being paranoid and need to give her more time to settle in or something. I don't know. It's just weird to me. One day out of the blue she just doesn't seem as into the relationship as she was. | Girlfriend [19] and me [M 19] trying long distant. Recently her texts have been more distant and concise. If I don't text her, we don't talk at all. Please read the full problem. |
t3_4ydgc5 | legaladvice | My employer hasn't been deducting my health insurance premiums and I'm about to leave the company (MA) | When I started my job 15 months ago I signed up for health and dental insurance. Everything has been working as it should (i.e. I used it successfully and received the relevant tax forms). However, HR just pulled me aside and disclosed that they made a mistake and haven't been deducting the premium from my paycheck. Yes, I could have caught this if I studied my pay stubs more closely. But this was also my first job out of college and my first time with my own insurance. And it was their responsibility to take care of payroll.
HR was very, very apologetic and said that they will work with me on a payback plan. While I would like for them to call it a wash and start charging me, I understand this isn't how things work and that I will have to repay them.
The issue is that I have accepted a position at another company and will be giving my notice on tomorrow.
They can't deduct the entire sum owed ($140/mo x 15 mos = $2100) as it's more than my paycheck after taxes. I live/work in MA, which has fairly strong employee protections. What, if any, legal recourse do I have? I'm not trying to avoid paying, just trying to make sure I'm informed and not about to lose two weeks of pay. | I owe my employer $2100 for health insurance that they failed to deduct but I'm about to put in my two weeks'. |
t3_2ov4am | relationships | [Breakups] Me [19M] with my Ex-GF[23F]. She cheated on me and looking for revenge. | Hi guys,
My problem is I was with older woman. She told me that she loved me and we would be together forever etc. But after couple of months she just cheated on me and she broke up. It would be OK, unless after breaking with her new ex-bf she wanted me to be her friend. It wasn't fair for me, so I told her I wouldn't stand it. Now she is looking for taking revenge on me (e.g. she gossips to my friends, telling them weird thing about me) and I don't know what to do and how I should react. | My ex-gf cheated on me and now she's trying to take revenge on me for not being her friend. |
t3_t7obq | AskReddit | What's one of your weaknesses that you'd like to fix? | I'l start, I am probably *thee* worst speller that I know. I mean, I am so bad it's easier to just tell people im dyslexic (probably am for all I know). As long as I can remember I've been a bad speller, failing every spelling quiz/test in elementary school. It's not that I'm an idiot either, currently a Junior double majoring in Finance and Accounting to sit for my C.P.A. (Citified Personal Accountant). Whenever I'm typing a paper and a misspelled word comes up I'll sometimes correct it by spelling it out, but there way to many mistakes for me to stop and re-write them all. Is there any easier way to become a better speller? | Bad speller, don't know how to become better. |
t3_qfv7v | AskReddit | Measuring heart rate on index finger, please help Reddit! | So, to make this story short. A friend of mine has an iPhone with the "instant heart rate" app.
I tried it and surprisingly, it worked just fine. Another friend that saw me giggling about it and shortly we ended up in a discussion. He's claiming that heart rate cannot be measured on an index finger, which an iPhone could measure using a camera and a led diode.
As far as our web searching goes, we didn't find any solid evidence that it can or can't be measured. We only found some schematics that were using IR sensors.
Can someone prove one of us right? | Can heart rate be measured on the index finger? |
t3_43tct4 | relationships | I [20 M], have pissed off my brother [18 M] by going out with my friends and explicitly not inviting him, then accidently putting him down. | So I went out with two good friends tonight, and my brother got very angry when I tried to explain why he wasn't invited. I started by explaining we had different levels of life experience, to which he responded that he was more mature than the three of us put together, and he'd punch me in the face if I kept putting him down. He failed to see the irony.
Next I tried explaining that my friends and I have really started to get to know each other lately, and he interrupted and said I'd "better unfuck myself real fast". Now might be a good time to mention he can bench press me about 4 times over, and was sitting well within arms reach.
I told him that situation wasn't helping, and he told me to get out. I did. He left a little while ago to go somewhere else for the night, taking his school with him, and I started writing this post. I also texted my 2 friends a short message explaining he was pissy about it, which may or may not have been a good idea.
This is the first time anyone's ever been really angry with me, what the hell do I do? | Went out with my friends, brother's pissed he couldn't tag along. He left to go angst for a while. |
t3_2tp487 | tifu | TIFU by taking a bath | So today I dyed my friend's hair in my bathroom. I put bleach in the tub and let it sit, as Manic Panic takes a while to get out of that shit. I totally forgot about the bleach in the tub. I left for a few hours and came home, deciding I need a bath. Without thinking twice (or looking in the tub), I ran myself an extremely hot bath. I got in said bath, and 30 seconds later I jumped out screaming, immediately remembering that my absolute buttfuck stupid self had forgotten to drain the tub. I was sitting in a bathtub filled with burning hot water and bleach. I am going to the hospital to treat my blistered bottom.
If you've ever wondered what a bleached asshole looks like, I'm a walking example. | Bleached my butt and lost all self worth. |
t3_3d66oo | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 1 month, She called me boy another guys name | Hello, last night me and my girlfriend had sex for the first, which didn't go too well but that is a question for another subreddit.
The next morning, we are fooling around, play fighting and what not and she calls me by another boys name.
I know for a fact that this boy (the name she called me) has been sending her messages like "I think I'm and love" and sending her messages all throughout the day.
She will not let me read her phone, nor will she tell me what this boy is telling her, only that, he is being a dick.
She was distraught afterwards, close to tears, I had to calm her down, telling her it didn't bother me.
It really did, I need help. | My girlfriend called me by another boys (who she is currently in contact with) name! Am I being played? Who is this guy? Should I be worried? What should I say to her? |
t3_37k68w | relationships | [17 M]. Is anyone up for some high school (internal) drama? | Hey all. I am an upcoming senior in high school but thats not really important. I am confused, in love, making stupid decisions. Since the 8th grade (yeah most high school dramas have to start back far enough), I had gotten a crush on this fantastic girl lets call her "Kendall". Beautiful, understands my jokes, she has an amazing smile, athletic, smart, and ah...i can just go through paragraphs on why she is so important to me. I have always been talking to her and last summer we were snapchatting a lot. Needless to say, greatest summer ever. I felt as if I was really hitting it off. We found out we were having to of our classes together and sat next to each other. Then everything changed.
She was talking about how peculiar she is with her snapchats but sends her ugly ones to me. Shit. That hurt. Not only was I not important to her, she had no consideration for how I felt after she said that. I have had girlfriends before, been broken up with, but nothing hurt more than what "Kendall" had just said to me.
I had since then thought of convoluted ways for her to find out my feelings for her. Ideas such as:
* Have a friend "accidentally" tell her my feelings for her
* Have my phone "accidentally" call her while I am admitting my feelings to a friend
I never did any of it. This year I started getting into sexting. I had sexted a few girls and they would cheerfully respond but then I would later regret it. "How would Kendall act if she knew this/accidentally got this" then I would think "The bitch doesn't even give a shit about me why should I give a damn what she thinks"
She's really sweet other than that comment she made, and I want nothing more for her to know how I feel about her. But sadly, she has been dating someone for a couple of months. I have one year of school left before we will depart our ways to different colleges. I want to give it a last shot but I don't think I should. Any advice would be great, thank you! | Hopelessly falling head-over-heels for a girl and have a gut feeling nothing will happen between us |
t3_4kcp5i | relationships | How to strike a balance between being clingy and completely ignoring your significant other? | My girlfriend (23F) and I have been together for around six months. However, sometimes I tend to become clingy unconsciously, and that happens because I do not get to spend time with her at times.
Now, I'm a very extreme person, so in order to give her space, I tend to ignore her. But, I am working on my behaviour, and I want to know from you people, how to effectively strike this balance?
I'm not a clingy or needy person in general. I'm pretty independent. But I find that when I have another person in my life, I need them at times. | Girlfriend tells me I'm clingy, I want to strike a balance |
t3_et1cl | books | Any suggestions on organizing e-books (naming conventions, directories, etc.) | I happen to have a lot of e-books about different topics, especially mathematics (what I study), music (piano, my hobby) and programming (Python, Haskell, ...). Until now, I had three main directories in which I just threw the files and renamed them as their respective title. Unfortunately, this got a little messy since some books on, say, linear algebra, share the same title ("Linear Algebra", for instance). I could add the author before the title like "[Author] - [Title].pdf", but in a small column Finder (or explorer), I would only see the author's name and couldn't see the book's topic. This is o.k. for books I use the most (hence know the author), but that naming convention would also get messy if the books was written by more then one person: "[First author's full name], [Second author's full name] - [Book title, finally].pdf" | Does anyone else think about a way to organize an e-book collection? Such as: |
t3_jtvjc | personalfinance | 6-12 month emergency fund question. | I know the answer to this is subjective since everyone has different incomes and expenses, but in general, what would be a good amount to have set aside solely as a 6-12 month emergency fund. Since I am currently living rent free with my parents, while I go to school, I don't know what my expenses will be once I move out. I have a part time job that pays really well, and I can basically save almost all of it, taking advantage of the living situation with my parents. Once I reach my 6-12 month emergency fund goal, I want to start investing and preparing for the future. So please share some advice and help me set a goal. I'm also unsure if 6, 9, or 12 months is standard. | How much money should a person have for a 6-12 month emergency fund before investing? |
t3_x71w7 | AskReddit | I'm an Indian in South Carolina. The other day I experienced blatant racism. You guys ever experienced racism to the face? | I was driving down the road in my Honda Accord (generic Indian car) and I pulled up to a stoplight. As I was sitting there, I see a car pull up next to me with three guys in it. They're sitting in their Honda Civic and ask me to roll my window down, to which I do accordingly thinking they might need directions. Then this: "Hey man, that's a nice camel you're riding there." The other two start laughing hysterically as I hit them with a confused look on my face. They then sped off. I didn't even get a chance to respond (which would've been: "What are you talking about, you drive a car made by the same manufacturer. I'm literally confused by your statement") When has someone been racist to your face with no shame about it?
Oh and for the record, I was born here in the states. They must've just thought I was someone from Middle Eastern descent due to my brown complexion. | Southern racists don't mind foreign cars unless people who look like foreigners drive them. When has someone been racist to your face and acted like it was no big deal? |
t3_3nxa5l | relationship_advice | [23/f] Anyone else with anxiety/depression struggle in relationships? | I hate it but I have severe anxiety in relationships (probably stemming from past events in my life that I don't want to go on about here).
I guess I'm very non-confrontational and hate when strife arises and then I completely disengage and think of breaking up whenever a problem comes up. For example, my bf was stressed out today and it was a good day for me (we're long distance atm). I texted him earlier and he said "I was stressed and so lost in class but I'm better now." So when I called him I began talking about my good day. I noticed though that he was pretty quiet/bored sounding so I asked if he was busy. Then he said "no, I just had a stressful day." I THEN asked him about his day and so on and what stressed him etc. Then we ended the convo. on a kind of stressed out note/he didn't want to talk much.
He then texted me and called me to apologize. I said it was okay. Then he said "well, you know... it's just I don't like to volunteer information and I guess I just expect the person I'm with to ask me more about how I am. You're the type to just talk, talk, talk, and that's great but I'm not like that and I just don't volunteer stuff but I do want to be asked."
It made me very uncomfortable. I said I would try to be more attentive but I'm not good at picking up on cues. :( Now I'm very stressed. I think he was inadvertently asking me to try and coax more out of him, ask more questions etc. but in a very passive aggressive kind of way....
And now I feel so anxious. I feel like I'm always missing something or not doing something right. I haven't complained to him about much of anything. He doesn't do everything perfectly but I appreciate what he does. It seems like he is unsatisfied with me. I said I'd try harder but idk :( | Bf replied to me that he was stressed out earlier but better now so I said "awh, I miss you you cutie." But later on he told me he wished I would have asked about why he was stressed out, and now I'm feeling anxious because I don't pick up on cues. |
t3_1ozg94 | AskReddit | What is the most inefficient flight you can buy? | Maybe I really want to get away, but never arrive.
When searching Kayak, I found that a direct flight from San Diego to Los Angeles should be a direct flight of 45 minutes (AA flight 2645), but JetBlue will happily sell me a flight to LA via NYC (Flight 90, Flight 323) with a total in-flight time of 11 hours and 10 minutes. That's 1488% the amount of time I'd have spent on a direct flight!
Some guidelines:
* use time-in-the-air to determine max inefficiency
* use a direct flight for comparison
* flight package should be reproducible on one of the major flight search engines
* searching for a flight, then sorting by 'price descending' is a smart strategy. | what's the most out of the way flight you can buy? |
t3_3ye6g8 | relationships | Me [25 M] gave an X'mas present to my mom [52 F] but she doesn't appreciate it. We nearly got into a quarrel. | My mom has always liked coins. She collects all types, whether it be Zodiac, Gold, Canadian Mint, US Eagle etc.
But she doesn't have a single antique coin (e.g. Roman, China). I decided to surprise her by gifting her an old Chinese dynasty coin that cost me 150 bucks after validation.
Her reaction: Eh... I don't keep old coins. It doesn't fit in my cabinet at all. Sell it if you can.
I didn't think too much of it. But she brought it up twice yesterday.
Today she mentioned it again. It was the last straw for me.
Me: So, you still want me to sell that coin?
Her: Yes. Get back the 150 bucks if possible.
Me: You do realize that's still my money.
Her: Well, you gifted it to me. But if you asked me if I prefer 150 bucks in cash, or an old coin. You know what I'd prefer.
Immediately, I rushed to her cabinet, took the coin out. Went to the table and put down 150 bucks and left.
Me: Next time just buy your own present, and tell me how much it costs so I can just give you money.
Her: You are angry.
Me: Just take the money.
Her: No. I won't. Take back your 150 and put the coin back.
Me: Whatever for? You said it ruins your cabinet. I don't give presents that makes people unhappy.
Her: You are gonna make me unhappy if you keep this up. Take back your money and put the coin back in!
This went on for a while, and thankfully before either of us started shouting, dad came in, pushed the money back to me, and put the coin back in. We both retreated to our rooms without a second word.
I am still fuming now, but really, is my anger justified? | X'mas gifted mom a $150 antique coin as a surprise. She dislikes it and told me to sell it so I can give her the money. She brought it up 4 times and pissed me off so I took the coin back while trying to make her take 150 bucks in cash. Would have escalated into a full-blown argument if dad didn't step in. Who's at fault? |
t3_3hg4l6 | tifu | TIFU by failing at parking | Full disclosure: this FU happened yesterday.
I just got my license two weeks ago despite the fact that I'm 21 and I now have no idea why I waited so long since being able to drive is usually awesome. My godmother gave me her fiancé's old car, a well-preserved 2004 Saturn L300.
So, I drove to the nearby grocery store to get some last-minute dinner ingredients and neatly pulled into my small parking space. So when I leave I'm pulling out of the space and hit this yellow metal post with my front bumper. I tried cranking the wheel to the right and pulling forward, stuck. Tried backing out more, stuck. Tried backing out more plus more gas and I hear a really bad sound and see a woman pulling into the lot give me a look of horror and pity. I still can't really see what's going on so I decide to drive about 15 feet and pull over.
At this point I hear a really loud grinding/scraping and see something in my peripheral vision. I pull over, put on my hazards and park and then get out of my car to see I've ripped off my entire front bumper and then run over it, getting it stuck in one of my rear tires! Some nice strangers helped me and then I drove another block, parked and cried in my car like a loser. | TIFU by ripping off my front bumper after only having a car and a license for 2 weeks and then proceeded to bawl my eyes out like a loser. |
t3_2ytwup | relationships | I (27F) am constantly woken in the middle of the night by my roommate (27F) having sex | Reddit, I am losing my mind.
My roommate moved in with me over a year ago. We have been friends for close to 15 years now. Since she moved in, she and her bf broke up, and things were good. At least until she met the current FWB (though he stays over frequently, so….)
Things have gone downhill, especially in the last few months. I work full time, and I am a student as well. I get up early for work, and I have been woken up at 2am by sexy time noises more times than I can count. I have spoken to her numerous times, and she tells me she "just can't help it". Last week, she said she won't have sex in the middle of the night, and I had high hopes that this was in the past. However, I was woken up twice last night from her nocturnal noises. Her response when confronted (I was not polite, after getting very little sleep) was that she wasn't loud at all. I beg to differ.
The other roommate in the house doesn't hear a thing. She lives in the basement, and my room is directly above hers. His is not. The rooms are not equal sizes, so moving rooms isn't an option. I have 2 fairly big dogs and don't want to move locations.
My name is the only one on the lease and I can't afford to live on my own, or go a month without someone renting the room. I am at my wits end. How else to make it clear that being woken up at 2 am by someone getting pounded is ridiculous? I can keep it quiet with my bf so why the hell can't she? | My roommate is a screamer |
t3_1yqljh | relationship_advice | I [18/F] broke up with my boyfriend[19/M] yesterday. Feels like a horrible decision right now. How do I handle the urge to crawl back? | He's absolutely devastated but not really surprised. We broke up after 1.5 years because I felt like the relationship was becoming forced. I didn't have feelings for him anymore to the point where I had no desire for sex, and I demanded a lot from him, responsibility-wise, that he doesn't seem capable of giving me right now. I broke up because I didn't believe the relationship would last unless maybe we had some time away from each other to become more independant individuals.
He's my best friend and after an initial 2 weeks we're going to see if we can maybe work some sort of friendship out.
I hadn't expected to feel this horrible about it. I feel like the rationale behind the break still makes sense and all, but fuck. I really care about the dude. I just don't feel like kissing and stuff anymore. (Until the moment I left his house yesterday, of course.) At first I wanted to suggest different ideas for the relationship but I ended up just telling him how I felt and saying maybe we should break up, at least for a while... We're also just so young still, I feel like maybe it's important to become your own person a little bit? We were very codependent.
I'm just unsure. I was hoping someone could tell me when I can trust myself on wanting to leap back into his arms. It's my first break up. I'm sorry if this is stupid. | Broke up with dude I really care about because he's immature (for lack of a better word) and I fell out of love. Now everything is shit and I don't know if I made a mistake or when to trust my feelings again. |
t3_3283ab | tifu | TIFU by eating a pizza. | Like with most posts, this happened last Thursday.
I'm on a trip to Washington DC. Long day of walking and whatnot. Decide to get some dinner at some Italian restaurant. Get in and sit down. See some tasty pizza on the menu. Hell yeah I'm starving. So I order that. Food comes, super tasty. So we're done eating and decide to walk down to the White House since it's only about a 40 minute walk. So, we reach the White House, take a few pictures, all that tourist BS. Then it hits me like freight train. I gotta poop, seriously bad. It feels like a battering ram beating down my rear gates. I can barely walk. Currently there's a lot of construction going on around that area, so there are no nearby bathrooms at all. I'm fucked. I decide to sit down and see if I can wait it out. Nope. Gates breached, juiciest bit of flow comes out. I clench for my life. Take my jacket off and wrap it around my waist. I sit for 5 minutes and decide to get up. Walk to the nearest road and get a cab to my hotel. Roll all the windows down. Arrive at the hotel. Luckily no-one is at the elevator. Speed walk to my room and right to the bathroom.
Luckily the group of teenagers in front of me had no idea what just happened. | In D.C. had some pizza, walked to the white house. Ass goes nope, shit myself in front of the White House. Nope out of there to my hotel room, proceed to cry on toilet. |
t3_34ir6g | relationships | Me [15M] have to decide between 2 girls [16F], [14F] | I really need some help I like both these girls and can't choose!
Girl A(16)
Or Girl B (14)
I have known them each for 2-3 years and like them both. Girl A has had previous relatshionships and is nice but has had a bit of history sleeping around (1 night stands). Girl B is very nice, but she is really shy and I'm not sure if she is ready to date yet.
Girl A knows I like Girl B and I think girl B knows I like her. None know I like Girl A. I don't really know which to pursue...I text Girl A alot , girl B is not really one to text and more of a in person type of person! Help me choose! | I like 2 girls and can't choose between them. |
t3_2dy01o | tifu | TIFU by knocking out my gfs sister. | I have been helping my girlfriends parents to build a new deck with my best friend who is also my coworker in construction business so we are used to do stuff like this together all the time. So earlier today me and my friend went to my work on that deck and we thought that we are all alone and started to goof around to make the job atleast a bit more interesting.First it started just tossing nails for our nailgun and doing pranks like setting up traps for eachother but then my friend realised that we have an aircompressor and we could use that to build something awesome. Well I've watched alot of mythbusters and got super excited immeadiately and we started to look for stuff to use. We googled instructions how to make an aircannon and after a hour or two we had a somehow functional aircannon in our hands. I had a baseball in my car and we decided that it would be the perfect cannonball for our cannon but the problem was that it was too tiny for the barrel so we used silicon to seal it real tight in there. The house has a huge backyard and only forrest after it so we decided its the perfect place to aim so we wont hit anyone. I guess I'm the unluckiest person ever because right when I'm pulling the lever I see my gfs 13 year old littlesister walking from the forrest with her friend and I can almost feel the time stop and see how the baseball hits her right in the face knocking her out immediately. I just got home from hospital my girlfriend is pissed as fuck and her parents told me that my help wont be needed anymore. She got dislocated jaw and couple cracked teeth but she will live. | I shot my gfs sister in the face with aircannon. |
t3_18lfn1 | BreakUps | Broken up for a while. Should I (25F) just hook up with someone else already? | We (he's 29) were together for over a year. Our relationship was rocky, but it absolutely *consumed* me. He was insanely controlling and changed everything about me, from what I wore to my phone number to who I hung out with and to who I was allowed to talk to online. He even changed my career. He molded me to be what he wanted from me, and then he dropped me.
I'm fucking dying inside.
I've been doing everything I can to recover from the breakup:
* Working out
* Being with friends
* Surfing dating websites
* Reading more
* Getting into new hobbies
* Etc
But I can't seem to get over him. It hurts more than anything, and I just want this pain to fucking *stop*. | In the past, I've slept with other guys to get over a breakup, and it's definitely helped to get my mind off of previous relationships. Should I just do it again? I can't stand this pain anymore. I feel like he still owns me. I feel like he still has control over me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. |
t3_3srgxp | tifu | TIFU by making my friends think I went full hitler | So today I was following all of the events going on in france, and getting pretty pissed off and angry about it. A few hours later I find this video on reddit that was talking about the threat of terrorism and thinking the video interesting, I clicked it and linked it to my friends.
My friends and I share a group chat and we put all this random links and videos all the time. So I posted this link thinking it would be informational.
About 5 minutes later one of my friends starts getting really pissed off, and I get confused, so I look at the description of the video.
The video talked about terror attacks, but then in the description blamed it all on "Zionist Jews." 2 of my friends are Jewish. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge, but it's too late. Now the video itself never mentioned anything anti semetic at all so I didn't know.
But now my friends won't respond back or talk to me and now I'm totally screwed. | linked a video, friends think I joined the fascists. |
t3_45v8wq | relationships | Im [18M] going to the movies with a girl [19F] for a 2nd date, and scared to make a first move. | As said in the title, this is our second date together. Tbh I don't really count the first one as the "first" since she brought her friends to the basketball game (we left early to go back to her house and watch netflix, ended up staying til one in the morning). But thats another story. We need to focus on the future.
Yes I know someones gonna comment it so i'll say it now, I know it should be a special moment, so you really shouldn't be thinking about it. But I can't take my mind off it. That's all i've really been thinking about, first date there wasnt really any contact between, so I want to make this one more "special". I've been trying to hint that I like her by saying certain stuff, and I think shes been catching on.
Do you guys believe I should try and make a move during the movie? After or maybe even before the movie? When I say "make a move" I mean like hold her hand. Not necessarily a kiss, since it's only the second date and i'm trying to take it slow. I think on the first date we really hit it off! So I dont want to fuck this up reddit! I need your advice! Please comment if you have any idea what I should do, thanks in advance ;) | I'm going on a second date tomorrow and I dont know if I should make a move on her just yet, since I dont wanna fuck the relationship up yet. |
t3_4a2fy1 | relationships | My [26F] Grandpa [74M] is depressed, recently a widower, cancer-ridden and living alone. How can I step up? | My grandmother died last month after a long battle with multiple diseases, leaving behind my grandfather who is also very sick with multiple kinds of cancers. He's debating going into full hospice (he's partial hospice at home now.)
He is very depressed. My mother and I don't want to leave him alone but he lives a good drive away and refuses to move out of the house. To make matters more difficult he is a heavy smoker and visiting becomes an affair where you have to immediately go home, change clothes and shower. Neither my aunt or uncle are stepping up to help keep him company or take him to the doctor. This means I'll have to make the drive more often.
Because I'm recently married, have my own chronic illness, and have been in a migraine spiral the last few weeks--the responsibility has fallen largely on my mom.
But I'm realizing that there is no equation where this works out where I don't step in and help. How can I help when my own health is unpredictable? On days I can't make the drive--what can I do from home? And when I'm with him--how can I help with his depression?
Anybody been here with a grandparent before? Would love some first-hand advice on being there at the end. | Grandpa is sick with cancer. I'm sick and it's hard for me to get around, but I want to step up, chip-in, and help. What are some ways I can do that? |
t3_3joiys | tifu | TIFU by showing my new classmates pictures of my body. | So this actually happened today. I'm a senior in high school and it's a new year so of course with all these new classes, I'm trying to make new friends.
Little backstory, I've been exercising and getting in better shape since May, and I keep track of my change not only through my weight but through pictures of my body. I was feeling especially self conscious last night so I took a few snaps of my body with just a bra and some panties. I forgot to delete them after I compared with my old pictures so went to school with them on my phone.
So today, I was sitting with a group of other seniors during P.E. and since we weren't doing anything, we went onto our snapchats. I told them that I needed to add all of them, and one of them gave me their picture code so I could add them. I've never used this feature before, so when I tried to do it, it immediately opened up my saved pictures.
A bunch of pictures of just my body popped up and I immediately set my phone down and said that they could add me by username. There was an awkward silence, I don't know how many people really saw, but I felt bad afterwards because the pictures just look very sexual out of context. | Tried to add friends onto snapchat, phone decided to show them my body instead. |
t3_ydpk0 | relationships | Am I being a bad guy here? Me and my best friend of 6 years are closer than her and her boyfriend of (almost) 2 years. [22m][21f] | So, like the title says. I've been best friends with this girl for 6 years now. It's a completely platonic relationship (I know some of you seem to believe that doesn't work, but stay with me here. That isn't the topic of this post).
She has been dating this guy for a few months under 2 years. Regardless of this fact, I remain her best and closest friend. She confides in me a lot of stuff, concerning her life or the relationship. Just stuff that is going on in her life.
This is all fine and dandy, but now that you guys have some background on the situation, I have a question for you. Until recently, the term emotional cheating has never crossed my mind. The only reason it has is because I've stumbled on it a few times on reddit, and now it has me thinking. Am I considered the bad guy in their relationship? Is she technically emotionally cheating, if neither him nor her thinks of it this way?
I don't feel bad about this. She is my best friend in the world, and if she couldn't talk to me like she can, then the relationship would be quite empty.
I'm sure some of you can understand. I'm just looking for some insight here. I'm perfectly willing to have the (probably awkward / difficult) conversation with her if needed, even talking to her boyfriend about it. He trusts her enough to be with me pretty often (he lives over an hour away), hell I even took her camping (+2 others) with drinking involved.
Anyway, here is my story. Looking for anyone with similar experiences or advice. | Me and a Girl have been best friends for over 6 years, am I a bad guy for not backing up even though no pressure is being applied for me to? |
t3_2jzl2r | relationships | I M (16) need advice on what to do with my best friend F (17) | I had a really long explanation of it all but as I was about to save it I lost the document. So I'm going to keep it short and if you guys want I'll rewrite it all when I get to a computer later.
So about a year ago I began going out with a friend and it was perfect. We both shared many friends, most I the one we dared I consider my best friends. We eventually broke up and I took it hard, I was beer given a proper reason as to why she did it. We stopped talking or a bit but eventually became friends again. I cut to deal with the loss, I did it on and off and one particular day I moved onto my wrists and she found out. Problem is she can fake cry, but she began crying saying how sorry she was but still never got back together.
We go on with our lives and I found out from a friend that she and one of my best friends drank a little and got frisky. Not once but twice, they never told me. A bunch of people knew all I which I considered my best friends, I confronted then about it months later and they tried to justify it. They said they couldn't tell me because if how depressed I'd get. I still think they should have told me. We have recently been arguing about this problem. Yesterday at lunch she brought a friend to our table, that's fine no problem. But he and he were flirting a lot. And I mean a lot. So I snapped I didn't how it but I snapped. I decided to not give her any attention and just go on. I won't ask her out, won't ask her anything, and give short answers when asked something. Sorry for being vague but what do you guys think I should do? And again if you all want the full story I can type it up later. | best friend and I dated, Break up never given a reason, got depressed, went on like normal, find out she and a close friend got tipsy things got sexual, all my friends know about it, never tell me until one day one friend does, occasionally argue about it, recently been arguing about it, girl brings friend to lunch table, they flirt like crazy, I snap, don't show it, decide to semi ignore her. What do? |
t3_1nieti | relationships | [24 M] Who is having a very difficult time sexually getting over an ex. | So, earlier this year I finally was able to attract the girl of my dreams. I have wanted to date her since we were 15 but things never worked out (always dating other people). We started dating and everything was awesome and we quickly fell in love. I was already in love but never pressed the issue and she actually said it first.
Well, we went on a week-long trip together and she basically came to the conclusion on the trip that we are better as friends. She broke this to me the day I got back and I'm crushed. This was about a month ago.
Well, since then, a few women have approached me and I've had the option to be with them sexually but I have this huge mental block and I can't get past it. I did get semi-sexual with one woman but now I feel like shit and basically like I cheated on my ex even though we're broken up.
I need to know how to get over her sexually and mentally because I need to move on. | Dated girl of dreams. She broke up with me because she thinks we're better as friends. Now I feel any kind of flirting or sexual contact with another woman is cheating on her even though we broke up. Can't get over her. |
t3_1429om | relationship_advice | I'm (19f) disgusted by my boyfriend [22m], time to move on or change my attitude? | Started dating my boyfriend about a year ago. Both of us were very playful, and happy.
I knew he smoked weed and chewed tobacco and I was initially open to it, I just didn't know the extent of how much he did. As I began seeing him more and more, I began to view his smoking and chewing as a pretty large habit. It became the first thing he did in the morning and the last thing he did at night. He smokes and chews in hour intervals. He began to get sick a lot in the morning (like shitting this black goo everywhere). He even smokes when he's sitting on my toilet, and i think that's just nasty. When I ask him about it, he says he has anxiety and that's just how he does it, or that his family has always had substance-dependency issues. He won't see a doctor for anxiety or the nasty morning poop thing. Now his breath is always terrible because of smoke and chew, and i don't even want to get close anymore. Now, I've been beginning to notice other things habits about him that really turn me off. He bites his nails and spits them on my carpet, he always has to have a fan and tv on at night, etc..
I mean, I know we have our own habits and whatnot, and I know I have my own, but I try to talk to people when I'm stressed and he just seems to turn to his habits, and tune me out. | boyfriend's smoking and chewing is gross, he blames anxiety. |
t3_1dms66 | relationships | I (M23) love my GF (F22) of over a year, but can't see myself marrying her. | I love her but I'm not in love with her. I know that she is in love with me and has probably thought about a life with me but I don't think I could marry her. I'm not sure if or how I should end things or if I should see where things go for a little while to see if I'm just having commitment issues or what have you.
We get along very well, and barely ever fight. I would say we have a healthy relationship, but I also feel like I'm hiding such an enormous secret. I would appreciate any advice from people who have been on either side of this kind of scenario. | Love her, but not in love and don't know where to go from here |
t3_4fo4c0 | relationships | 32/m with 30/f for 8 months - I am thinking about proposing later this year, but want a prenup. Would you talk about it before or after proposing? | I love my girlfriend very much and things have been going well. My girlfriend and I immediately clicked from the first date, and we've both been talking about planning a future together for a while now. We never fight, we've traveled together and had no issues, and generally it's just a very easy relationship.
I think I want to propose this fall, but I also want a prenup. I've seen a lot of failed relationships from friends, family, and myself. People change, and sometimes things just don't work out for whatever reason.
I currently own a business and expect to sell it in 1-2 years for somewhere around $10-15,000,000. Right now she makes about $50k/yr and I make $250k/yr, but that will be closer to $400k/yr right before I sell. Right around the time we get married, I would be depositing some very large checks.
When I bring it up, I want to frame it as protecting both of us, because I know that if we start a family she will be sacrificing some of her career options, and so if things didn't work out I would want her to be compensated fairly for not working and needing time to find a job, etc... At the same time, I worked hard to get where I'm at, and I would feel hurt if she walked away with millions just because she married me.
The most fair way I can think of structuring the agreement is something like, "for every year of marriage, $80k" or something like that.
Anyway, my main question is whether you would bring it up before or after getting engaged? If she has a big problem with it, I don't want her to feel pressured to agree after we're already engaged and she faces social pressure/embarrassment. At the same time, it's an awkward conversation and I don't want to feel like I'm negotiating a marriage contract before she's even agreed to marry me. Thoughts? | I will soon have around $10MM in my account after I sell my business. I want a prenup, but unsure of the best time to bring it up with gf. |
t3_3m58a7 | relationships | Me [30 F] with my boyfriend [37M] of a year, exact opposite work shifts. | Hey /r/Relationships, this might seem trivial but help me out here.
My boyfriend and I live together. We both have excellent jobs in the chemical refining business - no, we don't work together. Normally I work rotating shifts (three on, three off, days and nights) while he's a Monday to Friday worker. Words cannot explain how awesome this is - we have plenty of time together, but also plenty of time apart.
However, both of our employers are now in shutdown/turnaround/outage. This is when the chemical plant gets shut down completely (this is a pretty big deal, plant workers can attest to this), for major maintenance. Maintenance needs to be done as quickly as possible, therefor workers are working around the clock 24/7 for weeks on end. As luck would have it, we are both working a 6:30 to 6:30 shift with myself on days and him on nights. We both have Sundays off, but other than that we'll be working 6 days a week. This is going to be for about three weeks of overlap. I should note that although we have the same day off, he'll stay on the up all night/sleep all day schedule.
So my question is, how do we manage to make this bearable? To some not seeing someone for 6 solid days is no biggie, but I am seriously dreading it. | working literally opposite shifts six days a week for three weeks. |
t3_tgu9m | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your juiciest family story? | I'm not going to bother with a throwaway because this happened in another country years ago.
My aunt married into a wealthy (self-made) family in Canada. They amassed their wealth through government contracts providing concrete. To this day they hold a monopoly on the concrete business over there.
But that wasn't always the case.
The company was ran by my aunt's husband and his three brothers. Now they did well for themselves doing private jobs. My aunt's house was...breathtaking. Lets just say her pool (3 - 15 feet) had it own house. Two bothers wanted to branch out by doing government contracts, but my aunt's husband and the youngest brother wanted to stay private. This caused alot of resentment to form.
About two years passed and by then, the brothers were at each other's throats. Each had equal shares in the company, so as long as it stayed two against two, nothing could be done.
Then one day the youngest brother was on his way to a job in one of those concrete trucks. His brake line was mysteriously cut, and while driving down a hill slammed into a building and was decapitated.
The company had their first government contract before the funeral. | My aunt's in-laws may or may not have killed their brother in order to get government contracts. |
t3_3lx8o9 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 months, she is too kind to her ex and his family, while they are crearly trying to spoil her relationship with me | I do of course analyse my girlfriend as a person while we discover each other (we're a relatively new couple), and I do that by trying to conect the information about what I know of her, and every new info I get of her. Here's some info:
*I think I should mention that I do not have anything against her ex, never had, and honestly would love if it were possible for us to in the future hang out together, he knows how to be a cool guy.*
*her ex still didn't get over their break up (6~7 months ago);
*he gives her presents every once in a while;
*he talks and does a lot of shit (childish stuff, like going to her house and just stand on the sidewalk waiting for something to happen);
*his family has some problems. Parents are divorced, he moves from his dad to his mom quite often. While his mother is a good person, she keeps going to my girlfriend's house to cry about how she wanted to see her son happy again. His dad is just really strange, he wants his son to be going to parties, getting drunk and getting all the ladies, but still he also wants his son to come back to my girlfriend;
*and what probably worries me more, my girlfriend is that kind of person that doesn't like to make people uncomfortable, and have a hard time when the right thing to do is going to hurt someone.
My girlfriend says she doesn't want to come back to her ex. She also says that she really wants to stay with me. How do I talk to her about that? Am I wrong in thinking she shouldn't try to be a nice person to her ex and his family? If yes, how should she deal with that? Please consider the fact that her ex and family are really annoying. | My girlfriend tries to be a nice person to her ex and his family, who want them to come back together. She says she doesn't want to come back to him, and wants to stay with me. How do I talk to her about it? |
t3_1w6m7i | relationships | My 19(M) Boyfriend of two years snooped onto my Reddit account,and then broke up with me(18,F) | Alright,so my boyfriend and I were together for about two years. Things have been rocky since the summer,but we've stuck it out. He's always been the more emotional one,he's always been incredibly insecure,and he has NEVER trusted me,for whatever reason.
So a few hours ago,he calls me and lets me know that he had figured out my old reddit account,read all of my previous posts,comments,questions,and decided that we needed to break up. I agree that it's time to end things,but I am fucking livid with him. I'm not remotely sad,but I'm just angry that he snooped. I know that Reddit is a public forum,but I feel like it's private,in a sense like a diary or something. I don't remember any of the posts that "incriminated" me,and I promptly deleted that account,because I feel so dumb. I have never cheated, and I've always done my best to be a good girlfriend.
I'm happy that i'm single now,but I'm just so humiliated that he read through my WHOLE reddit history. Am I in the wrong for being pissed? | My boyfriend snooped into my reddit history,and then broke up with me |
t3_2ftfv8 | relationships | Me [19M] not inviting people ([20F][20M][21M]) to a party. | Okay, I'm going to try to keep this somewhat brief. Going to make a key for the names and ages of each person:
20F = Jennifer
20M = George
21M = Ron
So, I was previously in a relationship with Jennifer. It was okay, but towards the end it turned toxic. She ended up cheating on me with George and we broke up after that. Well it turned out that she had also cheated on me with Ron several months back and kept it to herself. Been No Contact since and on a good course for recovery.
This is where it gets awkward. All four of us are in an organization on campus. This organization typically has a few parties a semester and normally everyone gets invited out. This semester I got tasked with running one of our larger events and I had the idea to have a party afterwards as a sort of celebration. If I do this, a lot, if not all, of the members from the organization will want to come. I don't want to be seen as starting drama or being exclusive, especially since our organization prides itself on friendship. That being said, these three people are all executive members in the organization so I really am not sure how to handle this.
As it stands I'm definitely not inviting Jennifer, but for the other two I'm not sure if I want to make a scene about it. I know it's my house and my rules and I can do whatever, but I guess what I'm asking is: Am I making too big of a deal over this? It was a past relationship and while they did betray my trust, should I exclude them from organization events because of it? | Ex-gf cheated on me with 2 people in an organization I'm in. Wondering if it would be making to much drama to tell them they are not invited. |
t3_2c3upz | relationships | I [23M] and [22F] girl I was after finally kissed, she started saying depressive things | Hey
Today I went out with a girl I liked for the past 2 months. I already told her my feelings towards her, but we kept seeing each other, no awkwardness involved or anything.
Today, we went out to a bar, drank a few things and become slightly over the tipsy limit. I started to touch her leg etc and she started to hold hands with me and cuddled with me etc.
Afterwards we went outside and went to a bench. Shortly after we kissed. And a decent kiss, it was very passionate. She didn't resist in any way. Once it was over, she started saying things that she was still not over her ex and that she didn't want a boyfriend at all. She wants to be alone and wants me to find happiness somewhere else.
Problem is, she also said she doesn't mind being unhappy as long as other people are happy. I don't know whether I can be happy at the moment without her.
What do I have to think of this? I managed to kiss her again a few times. It was with complete passion and she even started to go further with it herself. No resistance whatsoever. She still wants to be best friends. Is she into me, or does she really want to be unhappy? | Went out with a girl I've been chasing for 2 months, kissed her multiple times today (without resistance) and she starts saying that she rather wants to be alone and wants me to happy and other people instead of her. What do I have to think of this? |
t3_3ohf1u | tifu | TIFU by thinking I was dead | Obligatory, this did not happen today, but a few years ago on holiday in Iceland
While packing up, I pulled my phone charger out of the wall, the two pinned European type, and a single metal pin got stuck in the socket.
Without thinking I pulled it out and only then realised what I'd done.
Around this time, I had read a fictional story about a man who had had an accident at sea, swum to shore and returned to his home, only to realise he had actually died when his family didn't acknowledge him when he calls out to them.
So at this point I'd convinced myself I was dead, this not being helped by my family being less talkative than usual and pretty much ignoring me - we are British.
It took until lunch until I finally felt confident enough to believe I was really still living. | Touched an electric socket, thought I was dead |
t3_27pwun | relationships | [23 F] never initiates any conversation with me [21 M] when we're not together. | I've been talking to this girl for about a month now, and we've admitted that we both like each other. We're like peas and carrots whenever we go on a date. We've kissed, held hands, and all that good stuff, but my problem is when we aren't together, it's like she doesn't exist until I make plans for our next meet. She never initiates any contact with me unless I am the one to do it first. I'll also say that we've been meeting up about a couple times a week.
Whenever I do text her, she replies quickly but with very very short texts. I usually get texts that are "haha, yeah, lol sure, no XD, ok, kk ^ ^ " I don't send long texts either. I was busy all of last weekend so we couldn't see each other. When I was finally free, I texted her to see how her weekend went. "Work haha" was her reply. I'm not expecting her to tell me every single thing that happened during her weekend but it'd be nice to at least some connection with her when we're not together.
Do girls want guys to do all the initiating? I've looked into the whole "Girls like to be chased" ordeal, but is this some sort of extreme? Or is this just her not liking to text that much? Should I be trying to contact her a different way? Calling is not a problem for me either, but I'm usually not the type to call someone just to ask about their day and then hang up. | Girl and I like each other, and we meet when we can. She never initiates any contact unless I do it first. But when I do initiate contact, she gives 1-2 word replies. |
t3_3s1l3p | relationships | I [24 M] can't get over comments I overheard from gf [23 F] of 1 year | The other day, my gf had some college friends over to her apartment and it offered me a chance to meet them since she and I met after she graduated. For the purposes of this post I'll call my gf Abby and the relevant conversational partner Betty.
Since they were all catching up with each other one of the major topics was love interests, dating scenes, that sort of thing. At one point I stepped out of the main area to get a beer from the kitchen. There's not much of a divider between the kitchen and this area so I could clearly hear the conversation.
When I was in there Betty said that she had been using dating sites but that most of the guys she met were too short. The other girls in the room sort of moaned in a statement of commiseration. At this point I could hear Abby whisper to Betty: "I'm so glad that [sundaythrowaway12] isn't short," after which they all laughed. I returned to the room and acted like I hadn't heard anything. The rest of the evening went smoothly.
In the days since then I can't get over this statement. I guess in one way it could be interpreted as a compliment but in another it feels like a huge insult; if I had been shorter Abby wouldn't have dated me (for information I am 6'2" and she is about 5'5"). I also have quite a few short friends and I could imagine how it would hurt them to hear this group laughing about their dismissal of short guys. Since that incident I just can't help but think of Abby as shallow and judgemental.
Am I overreacting to this? Should I confront Abby, or just suck it up? I do think we have a good relationship but my opinion of her has already started to slip in light of this. | I overheard my gf and friends denigrating short guys and her imply that she wouldn't date me if I were short. Am I right to be skeeved out by this? |
t3_4zu0k7 | relationship_advice | I'm [20/f], would you also take offence to friends who don't wish you a happy birthday? | It may seem petty, but it's my 20th birthday today. I understand that some friends may be busy or have probably forgotten and that's fine, but I'm talking about the ones who definitely know that it's my birthday, and that I always wish a happy birthday to every single year.
For example, on Snapchat I've had various 'close' friends who watched my snapchat story where it's obvious that it's my birthday, and have been online on social media such as whatsapp yet have said nothing to me.
I'm a very sensitive person so I'm finding it a bit upsetting that some of these people that I have done so much for, always been there for no matter what time it is and sent heartfelt birthday wishes to them annually would be aware that it's my 20th birthday today and say nothing :/ It only takes a few seconds and some of them have been online all day. Or is my disappointment juvenile? Interested in hearing your take on it. | Close friends that I always wish a happy birthday know it's my bday and said nothing. Should I take offence? |
t3_4ynd2y | relationships | Me [22] can't stop thinking about my girlfriends [21] past. | So I've been dating my current girlfriend for 3 months now. I know that's not a long time, but we've liked each other for over a year now. I really do love this girl. My last two relationships were absolute shit and I can tell she really cares for me which is a breath of fresh air.
But the problem this that we had the " what we did in the past" talk and she had an interesting past. Too not go into too much detail she wanted the attention of guys, but the wrong kind. She was never treated nice. Me on the other hand, I've only been with two women who were my girlfriends. Now I love my current girlfriend but it's hard for me not to think about her past. What do I do. | my gf has a past and I can't stop thinking about it. |
t3_49oqf4 | cats | Can I do something? Please help. | So my cat is now around a year old (found him on a road, don't know his exact birth date but we found him as a very little furball) and he's begun setting his territory, by peeing on it. We won't be able to get him to a vet (you know, to get him done *that*) until a few days. Is there anything I can do to prevent him from stinking the whole house? Locking him in the balcony isn't an option at all, as it is snowy and windy outside. Also it would not be very human to do so. Any advice would be appreciated. | my cat marks territory and can't get him fixed until a few days, what can I do so he doesn't mark the whole house? |
t3_15evwi | relationship_advice | Hoping to get some advice! [21/f] | I'm currently single, and lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my dating history. I have been in several serious relationships, and I have cared a lot about each person I've dated. Things usually go great for the first few months, but after awhile I inevitably become hyper-aware of where I "rank" in the relationship. That is, I make a decision on who is the "reacher" and who is the "settler" between the two of us, and I really think that this is the root of how all my relationships have ended. I end up unhappy in either case, and I would love to just go through a relationship feeling that I am truly equal to the guy I'm dating. In a lot of ways I think this makes me pretty shallow, but I really hate it about myself and want to change.
My question is, what can I do to change this about myself? And at the very least, how can I make it stop affecting every one of my relationships so much? | Every relationship I've been in has boiled down to one "reacher" and one "settler" in my mind, and I'd like advice on how to get a new perspective. |