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t3_3oe13w | tifu | TIFU by telling someone that they have a tasty child. | Last week I was with my wife in her hometown visiting her parents and we decided to all take a trip over to a new brewery for a beer tasting. Everything they brewed was great, which is rare in my experience because usually a flight of beer that you don't get to choose has one or two samples I'm not a huge fan of.
So we were all having small talk with the owner when my wife's dad asks her if she and her husband have any children. To which she replies, "nope, no children. Just this. This is my child," referring to the beer and the brewery.
Not thinking at all ahead of time, I utter the phrase "you have a very tasty child."
I couldn't tell if anyone else was mortified by what I just said because I kind of just stared at my beer glass for the next five minutes and didn't say anything else. The rest of the day I was plagued with the thought: "what the hell. Why would I ever say something like that?" | didn't think before I spoke, came across like a pedophile. |
t3_2jricr | relationships | My SO [M/22] of 5 years won't tell me where he's keeping the nude pics I [F/22] gave him. | Ok, so to preface, I've gotten too wrapped up about things in the past and worried about things too much before in our relationship, so I coming here to see if the way I'm feeling is totally unreasonable or not.
I recently sent my SO some nude pictures of myself and it was a big step for me to trust him with them. He told me he had put them in a secret file on his computer and my first thought was "perfect, no one will be able to get them", but then I realized that I had no idea how to get to them either, and that's where the problems start.
I trust my SO to never share them online or with anyone else, but when I asked him if I could look at them some months later, he obliged but only after having me turn away while he pulled put the "secret folder" and opened the pictures in an image viewer so I was no longer in the folder...
I asked him to show me how to reach the folder so I could access them if I wanted to delete them or just see them, but he declined because he didn't want me to see what else he had in there. Now, it kind of bothers me that he won't tell me what kind of porn he watches, but I respect his privacy and that he's not comfortable telling me yet.
So to compromise, I asked him to create a second "secret folder" that only cobtained my pictures and show me just how to access that one. But he acted as if I was overreacting and being stupid for being worried. I've tried to explain it's not that I don't trust him, it's just that it's my body and I want to be in control of those pictures. He wont tell me why he's so reluctant to do it and it's been about a week since he finally agreed to make a new folder, but every time I ask him to, he rolls his eyes and says he'll do it later...
Sorry for the wall of text, but am I making a mountain out of a mole hill or is it reasonable to ask him to do this? Also apologies in advance for any errors, this is my first post ever. | Boyfriend won't let me access nude pics of myself on his computer for reasons unknown. Am I over reaccting? |
t3_n019x | AskReddit | Does this make me an insensitive prick? | So, today, at work, one of our residents passed away. It was rather sudden. I wasn't the initial response to the call, however, once my shift started, I took over for the other EMT. ( Guess I should clarify, I am an EMT working at a retirement community) The resident was old, no DNR, so, obligated to start CPR, however, once the medics arrived, resident was pronounced dead. Now, this isn't the first death I've been on, nor will it be the last, but it made me wonder, my partner and I were quite casual about discussing her passing. Joking about it perhaps, even. I just want to know if anyone thinks this makes me an asshole? I know it's how I cope with experiencing death on occasion, but I don't know, I felt bad after I got home and started to think about it. That is all. Also, should be noted, we're most certainly not rude about it to anyone outside of just us to. | I'm an EMT, my partner and I are very casual, almost jokingly casual when a resident passes at our facility. Does that make us assholes? Even if it is how we cope with death. |
t3_3n2t58 | relationships | Me (19m) and my gf (19f) feel like moving in together, sharing our lives. I am worried we are going "love blind" | Hello reddit! Long time lurker on here but now i have a reason to get all your lovely opinions :)
So here's the background: Me and my girlfriend have been together for closing in on three years and we started like any good old angsty teen story. We were best friends since the beginning, supported each other through everything including primary and secondary school, but only dated when we both saw something else in each other, had bad relationships, you get the deal.
Being with her is awesome, like I said she was already my best friend so everything in our relationship has flowed so damn smoothly. We argue, but we admit when we're wrong and solve it. We have different interests (science v music) but we always share and conversation is always interesting. Safe to say i know her and she knows me and I feel like we are definitely in love (so much angst)
Here's the deal, with university and what's coming next, we plan on being together, we're saving up to move in together and i feel like im getting washed in the feeling of it because sometimes i even think of spending the rest of our lives together. The relationship we have is like nothing I've had before, but i know how stupid this all sounds just from editing the post, especially given our age. But i just can't help but feel sometimes like this is legit, shes it. (aaaangst)
My problem is I don't know wether this is warranted, if it could be true or wether we're being idiots. For the record we're nearly twenty and i have had stellar relationships in the past, the last one only ending because she moved away. I would love to hear what everybody here has to say and what their opinions are and if anyone else has been in this kind of situation (sorry for the lengthy post!) | Really in love with gf, often get thoughts that she may be "the one" unsure of how to confirm or deny this. Feeling like im being an idiot sometimes |
t3_19hsew | relationships | I[20m] am a a virgin and my girlfriend[22f] is not. | Relationship length: 2.5 years.
We met online 3 years ago and in person 2 years ago. We started dating and everything has been great. We get along really well but she's not a virgin and I am. We are also very long distance so she visits my country on school breaks and has done a semester abroad in my country.
I grew up in a religious family and she did not. I'm a Christian and my beliefs are very important to me. My girlfriend is Christian too, but she was converting from atheism when we first met. Religion is important to her, but we have very different pasts and it does raise some issues, although we love eachother very much.
Before we met, my girlfriend liked to party a lot. She drank and did some heavy drugs (heroin, meth, coke, ecstasy etc). She got clean before we met and only drinks occaisionally and smokes cigarettes, which I am okay with, although I don't smoke. She also admits to having sex with 22 men, and was raped too (which makes me very sad). Her past worries me, but she's been clean as long as I've known her and hasn't relapsed and has never cheated on me. She also respects my beliefs and does want to wait for marriage before sex, like me.
I grew up in a very Christian home and never did drugs, smoke or have sex. I am waiting for marriage. She's never pressured me either, we just make out. I love her, and she loves me, and I think she is so beautiful... But it still bothers me she's been with so many men. Not because I am jealous and want to be with other women myself, I just believe sex is for the person you love and marry. I always imagined my wife would be losing her virginity to me, and mine to her.
I know she's changed from a partyer into a wonderful person and the girl of my dreams, but her past is hard to deal with. She feels badly about it herself, and wishes she could change it.
We want a future together, but how do I get over her past issues, even though they aren't here today? | I came from a very Christian, good upbringing and am saving myself for marriage. My girlfriend had a wild past and slept with a lot of men, but changed her ways immensely before we even met. How do I deal with this. |
t3_14ys2j | AskReddit | If you have a cell phone with a debt on it, can you get it on another company? | Okay, I know how this sounds, but here me out. Obviously, you can't get a phone with debt on it to work on another company. It's like giving a guy a forest, he burns it down, and you give him another one. Okay, that was a bad analogy. Whatever.
The Story:
I got an iPhone 4 for my birthday last year, on Sprint. My sister would pay her bill, and I would give her money for my end of the bill, since it was cheaper for us to share. Eventually, she couldn't pay her side, and even though I paid my end, they shut our service down. Eventually, her debt was around 300 dollars or so, and there was no hope for my phone. I've been using apps that allow me to call and text with WiFi since then.
The question:
I don't understand a lot about flashing or unlocking phones, but is there anything I can do to flash this phone to another service, even though my serial number has debt on it? | I have debt on my iphone, and I want to use it. |
t3_u7eet | AskReddit | What are the odds that all religions are completely fabricated? | People who are stalwarts of their faith tend to cite things like a "religious experience." Saying they've "felt God." I was raised Christian, I went to bible camp. I repented my sinful ways, cried, felt all warm and fuzzy inside, blah, blah, blah. Was that truly God, or was it just a result of my conscience knowing I'm doing what I was told is the right thing?
I am currently at a point in my life where I am skeptical of religion, but because I was raised christian parts of my brain still knee-jerk through Christian patterns of thinking. Yesterday my friends wanted to drink all day even though I had homework to do. Was their request for me to join them a temptation sent by the devil? That was my brain's knee-jerk response. But no, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. We're not in the same classes, and don't have the same assignments due at the same times. Are religious experiences, feelings, and thoughts just the result of a lifetime of social conditioning designed to explain the unknown and keep us on the right track? Because it's also true that once I decided the devil had not sent my friends to distract me from homework I said "fuckit" and played beer die for hours. If I was very religious would I have done that? Probably not. Was religion cooked up to keep societies orderly and responsible?
Look at how Judaism/Christianity has evolved. Many of their rules have been explained as health and social concerns that were solved by religious law. Who told them that it was God's idea? Was it really God's idea, or did someone just decide that no one would listen to a rational explanation? We choose to ignore those rules now because we've decided most of them are no longer relevant, and that we don't need God to tell us what food is or isn't safe to eat, or which adulterers to stone. | Is it easier to tell people "God says so" than explain actions rationally? I think yes. Why is this true? Is religion the source of anti-intellectualism, or the result of it? Is the idea of any god a lie fabricated by those who claim to be his messenger? |
t3_11u46b | relationship_advice | [19/m] I'm a poor, blundering idiot who very much needs advice with dorm relationship politics | Context: I live in a suite-style dorm, which is to say that all the rooms are doubles, and pairs of doubles -- suites -- share bathrooms. The suites aren't coed, but the floors are. Women's suites socially operate like four-person rooms. I live down the hall from a suite of fine, friendly ladies. Two of them -- we'll call them Dame One and Dame Two -- are of particular interest here. Long story short, here's the picture:
Dame One is attractive, but not my type. I, however, seem to be hers. I'm the sort who doesn't like to contradict and usually just goes with things, and she's nice but can be overbearing at times, so a relationship would probably not go so well for me. She's been flirting with me for a few weeks, and we made out for some time earlier today. I thought that we could have a fun, casual thing happen, but now I'm starting to worry that she might want a more serious relationship. I think that if she wants more, she and I would both be better off if she were to pursue someone else.
Dame Two lives on the other side of the same suite. She's *definitely* my type. She's clever, good-looking, interesting, makes good conversation, and we get along great. She flirts with several people, and seems to be interested in me, but it's hard to tell what she thinks of me-- mostly because Dame One's proximity and obvious interest changes the dynamic. I can't tell if Dame Two likes or merely tolerates Dame One, but if I had to guess, I'd guess toleration.
MY CONCERN: I'm worried that by getting involved (such as I have) with Dame One but misreading her intent, I've not only ruined chances of having something casual happen with her, but also undermined any future possibilities with Dame Two, who I'm definitely interested in.
How should I handle this? Is there any possible universe where I could, at some near point, get together with Dame Two without massive fallout? Or is the best option simply to abort? | Two girls live together down the hall. I'm interested in one; the other is interested in me. Point A: Made out with the one who's interested in me; the one I'm interested in is an unknown quantity. Point B: Getting together with the one I'm interested in, and on decent terms with the other. I'm at Point A -- what should I do to try and reach Point B? |
t3_3yrgvs | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19M] of one year- my parents don't know and I need to plan next steps. | I've been dating a friend I've known for a while for a year now, and everything is going great. We believe in different religions but are liberal enough that it hasn't caused an issue and very unlikely to.
The problem arises with me. His family and our friends know we are dating, but my parents are extremely religious/cultural and would be horrified about me even just dating, even worse that he's not from the same background. Understandably he and is parents want me to tell my family, but I just don't know how to. I'm worried about what to do if they present me with an ultimatum- break up with him, transfer schools to the city they live in or move out and be financially independent.
Honestly at this point in my life I just feel as though my parents need to start respecting my decisions and I'm planning to stay with him. I'm just wondering how I could tell my parents to make the situation less harsh/tense and what to do in the worst case scenarios. Am I being young/naive and impulsive? At this point anything is helpful, I'm pretty desperate and scared lol. | need to tell my protective parents I'm dating with the least damage possible. |
t3_24qnlk | relationship_advice | [22/M]I'm in a love triangle with my [28/F] gf | Several months ago I met her in an event, but didn't talk to her until a couple of months ago, when she found me on Facebook. We started talking to each other, and found that we have a massive chimestry with each other, have lots of things in common, etc. In short, she really looks like the ideal person to spend the rest of my life with.
The thing is, she's in a relationship with another guy for a couple of years now, and somewhat "tied to him" (I hope it's more material than emotional). I don't even know if we can call each other a gf/bf.
How can I handle this situation? How often is it ok to bring this topic on? How long is a respectable timeframe for her to dump his bf for good if she's really intending to do so? | I'm in a relationship with a girl that has long term relationship with another guy. What can I do? |
t3_2yce8o | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] 1.5 years, should I tell him what his brother [19M] asked me? | Hey there!
This isn't a crazy or deep or drama-filled question, but hey, maybe you need a break from that in this sub. LOL.
So Sundays are *my* day to relax. My boyfriend and I are both so busy! I've been laying in bed watching Netflix all morning.
My boyfriend (Liam) and his brother work at the same place. Liam left for work this morning and afterwards I heard his brother call out sick for his shift later on tonight from the living room. My boyfriend then calls me and asks if we had anything planned tonight because since his brother called out sick they needed to find someone to replace him, and work wanted to know if he could cover it.
They found someone other than my boyfriend to cover the later shift eventually, but his brother just came into our room asking if I had any advice on how to get away with not bringing a doctor's note in to work after they ask for it. I laughed and told him what I would have done at his age.
Now, should I tell my boyfriend this? I know he gets aggravated sometimes because the boss sometimes complains about his brother TO my boyfriend and he has to take some of the boss anger for some of the stuff his brother has done, which isn't fair.
What should I do, Reddit? I usually tell him everything, but I feel like I might let down his brother if I tell Liam. Also, I pulled the same shit at his age. | Boyfriend's brother called out to work at the same place my boyfriend works at, they wanted boyfriend to cover brother's shift later on that night, they found someone ELSE to cover it. Then boyfriend's brother asks me for advice on what to do when asked for sick note from work when not actually sick. What to do? |
t3_4knx8r | loseit | This sub is full of amazing stories. Mine is just average. | I've been hanging around this sub for about a year now and I read all those amazing success stories with unbelievable before/after pics. All of which make me happy just reading them and I love this sub for them.
But sometimes I miss the stories about all the average girls and boys out there like myself. I'm male, 28 years old, 185 cm (6'07'') tall and when I started logging my weight last year, I was at almost 104 kg (~229 lbs), which is overweight, but not horribly overweight. My goal was to loose a bit of weight, without any drastic changes to my life. Just a bit less food intake here and there and maybe some additional exercise sessions.
[This] is my weight graph for the past year and as you can see, my progress is ... meh, ok I guess.I started off pretty enthused, but then life caught up with me and other things got more important at times, so I stopped logging multiple times and subsequently also paid less attention to a healthy lifestyle.
But more importantly I always came back and started over and even with all those setbacks (and the f***ing holiday season) I am now still >5kg (11 lbs) lighter than last year and am more dedicated than ever to reach my goal weight of 90 kg (198 lbs) by the end of this year.
But seriously, I can't be the only one with a mediocre success story, can I? :-D | [If you get knocked down, get up again.]( |
t3_4xoh2u | relationships | My [28M] girlfriend [27f] may be dyslexic. What can I do to help? | For a while I thought maybe she just didn't pay attention as much as I do but when I came across an article about Adult Dyslexia it made a lot of sense; difficulty remembering names of people and places, frequent mispronuniciations, difficulty conversing and inability to follow long lists or sets of directions. This may very well be causing her to have issues at work and socially. How can I help her without offending her? To my shame I sometimes do get frustrated with her but I try not to let it show, what can I do to mitigate my frustration? | Girlfriend might be dyslexic, what do? |
t3_38scnt | relationships | I want to know if I'm being too much too soon. [19 M] & [18 F] | My co-worker [18 F] and I [19 M] have a thing going on. We recently went out together with a group of friends. The night was really great and we kissed. She really did seem like she was having a great time with me.
Today I messaged her saying that I just cannot wait to see her again and that seeing her really made my day. She replies with things like
"Oh really hahah"
and it just feels a bit like she doesn't know what to say...
Also; when we text she never initiates the conversation or takes the conversation anywhere but she'll always reply in an instant - like she's always ready to respond when I message her. (She'll be offline on Facebook and then come online just to reply - this happens a lot)
When we're together conversation is perfectly fine, so maybe she's just not a texting person? I don't know...
Should I apologise for being too much? (I'm not even sure how to word it (?) )
I might just be way way overthinking the situation but I figured better safe than sorry because I really, really like her and want things to go well between us. | I feel like I'm making her feel overwhelmed and I need advice on what I should about it. |
t3_2tmtjh | relationships | My SO [26M] and I [24F] together 4 yrs. He still is not over an Ex-girlfriend | So my title pretty much says it all. I have been with my SO for 4 years, he is 26 years old, I am 24 years old. At the time we got together he had already been single for 2 years. He tells me all the time that he loves me.
He and his ex were together for 4 years, they broke up 6 years ago and have gone no contact for all that time.
He told me last night that he still misses his ex and specifically that he misses the adoration from her. I feel like, while he says he loves me, it can't be very strong love since he is still so wrapped up in his past relationship.
So I dont know if its still worth investing time in the relationship anymore or not. Any advice is appreciated. | SO still not over his ex after 6 years. Is it worth continuing relationship? |
t3_38xiek | relationships | Me [17 M] with my "friend" [17 F], we went on a date, now I may have messed up | Really I'm just here to ask whether or not asking her to talk would be a good idea. Last Saturday, I asked her out and we ended up watching the sunset and stuff. It was all good. We kissed after we shared that we had feelings for each other.
Fast forward past the weekend, during the week I didn't really match the affection I showed for her on our date at school or anything. I hardly walked her to class (I know it sounds stupid, but still) and I think I hugged her maybe twice after school. I was honestly just scared that she wouldn't want to make anything between us known to the public for whatever reason.
So here I am. Now I feel like she's stepped back just like I did. I feel like I screwed up. But I just want to talk to her about things. Really, I've wanted to talk to her and ask her if she wants a relationship with me, or anything like that all week. I'm just having trouble taking action, and I have been over-thinking everything way too much.
Back to the reason why I'm here: would it be a good idea to ask her to talk? Thanks anyone who can help. | Went on a date with a girl, we kissed, I backed off during the week and I feel like that was a bad idea. Now I want to talk to her about us. Should I? |
t3_4o65su | relationships | Boyfriend (30 M) won't stop making comments about my (22 F) body and comparing me to other women. How do I deal with this or is this just my insecurity? | I am a 22 year old petite girl who is dealing with my boyfriend (30 M) who won't stop comparing my body with other women. We have been together for 1 and a half years and been living together for 6 months.
Recently, I had a major surgery on my leg which made me lost a lot of weight as I was unable to train for a while. Now, I am getting back into training and eating solid regular meals as well as higher protein intake to gain back my weight and shape. Mentally, it has been a tough journey for me to get back my health and my fitness together and recently only started physio to gain back full leg mobility. Before my operation, I was always training at the gym at least 3 times a week and hope to get back there again or even better shape.
However, my boyfriend wouldn't stop making me feel uncomfortable about my body shape. He would do this either subtly by comparing me to others and showing me pictures of women who are body builders or have thicker body when we watch TV or on social media or bluntly the other he looked at me and said what has happened to your body. Such comments are unnecessary and made me feel upset about my body and self esteem. I know he prefers curvier women from what his exes. He has been supportive of me in terms of me getting back to my health and have never body shamed me till recently but such comments always make me feel upset. Is this just my own insecurities playing up or how do I deal with this better? | Had a recent surgery which cause me to loose weight. Boyfriend (30 M) won't stop making comments about my (22 F) body and comparing me to other women. How do I deal with this or is this just my insecurity? |
t3_21e6fx | relationships | Me [18 M] Seeking advice on choosing between girlfriend [20 f] and a career opportunity | Let me start off with saying that I am deeply in love with my girlfriend. We have known each other for a little over a year, and have been dating for about 6 months. Our relationship as a couple has been LDR because she left for college a little before we started dating. We've managed the LDR pretty good since she came back for winter break for a month, spent 2 weeks with me for spring break, and flights to see each other in between.
In about a month she is transferring back to a college about 45 minutes from where I currently live. Let me state that this was going to happen regardless of whether or not we were together. This would be awesome for the relationship because I currently have a decent job in this city and I'd be able to see her quite regularly.
However, I was recently contacted by a recruiter from a very prominent website and they have offered me a position in a city about 4 hours away from where my girlfriend would be. This would be amazing for my career being that I am in the tech industry and working for that company would set my career up for so much success.
Another thing that complicates the situation is that she wants to get a part time job during the summer as well to help her career goals, but she would have to work weekends most likely, and that would be the only days I would have off to see her.
I definitely think that we would still be able to see each other, depending on my schedule(may be four 10's), but what have you guys done in situations like this? Did you choose the job or the SO? | LDR girlfriend is coming back from out of state college, but I was recently given an amazing job offer 4 hours away from where she'll be. Advice needed! |
t3_2ybrja | relationships | Am I [22/M] crazy to want to be done with my SO [21/F] of 4 years that went behind my back to post suggestive pics? | So the other day my roommate comes in my room showing me this suggestive picture on our college snapchat page thinking it's our neighbor. My heart instantly sunk because I knew exactly who it was and just played it off. I had no idea that this was going on. I asked my SO about it and she was basically played dumb about it until she finally cracked told me she and her friend posted on there. She tried to justify it and say it was just a good picture and she wanted to post it to see how many likes she could get. Am I crazy or does that not sound like someone who isn't in a relationship?
What I think the problem is, is that she can be kind of crave attention, and the past few weeks I haven't been able to spend much time, if any, with her because school has been drowning me. Well since I haven't been able to give her the attention she wants, she decides to try to find it somewhere else, like the app where she gets likes for posting suggestive pictures...
I've asked my roommate and he said he'd be livid and be done if his SO did that. I want to know if this is something common or if I should truly be done? I loved this girl and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But seeing something like this breaks my heart and only makes me think about the future where if I have to travel for a week or two, how could I possibly trust this kind of behavior?
I just want to know if I'm crazy or if other people would be upset too. I think stuff like that would need to be a group conversation but she never planned on telling me, which really hurts.
I dunno I'm just really hurt and wanted to say something about this without any of my friends finding out. | girlfriend posts suggestive pictures behind my back, I find out from my roommate, am I crazy to want to throw a long term relationship down the drain? |
t3_3ahrks | tifu | TIFU by making a car full of women think I was staring at them creepily from the dark bushes behind my parked car. | I drove to meet some friends for drinks in a part of my city I've never been to before, and after looking for parking for 15 minutes, had to settle for a spot many blocks away from the bar. During my drive I had no longer needed my sunglasses, so I flipped them up onto my head, as in the lenses were on top of my head.
So I get out of the car and realize I've become so disoriented while looking for a spot, that I need to use my GPS to find the right direction to walk. At this point its getting darker and I'm standing in between some large trees and bushes in a dark and shady area between my car and the sidewalk while I mess around with my phone.
While this is going on I barely realized that a car full of women pulled up and was parked almost on the other side of my car while waiting to pick someone up. I'm messing around with my phone for a few minutes, and getting frustrated that the gps isn't working. It finally works, and I walk in front of my car to cross the street right as the car that had been waiting next to it pulled by me to drive away.
They slow down and I hear a "stop staring at me through your #*cking sunglasses you creep!" and then they speed away yelling more obscenities at me.
It takes me a few seconds of thinking "WTF was that about" to realize that my head was tilted down while I was txting on the other side of my car, and the car was blocking my phone. My sunglasses were lined up like they would be if they were on my face and I was looking up. It looked like I was just some creep standing in the bushes with sunglasses on staring at a car full of women for a long time, and that I tried to approach their car as they drove away.
I realized what happened and laughed about it, and went on with my night. | Sunglasses on top of my head while looking down txting in a dark area made a car full of girls think I was creepily staring at them while they waited in their car. I had no idea. |
t3_4tybsj | relationships | Me [23F] with my [lates40s/F] manager, is mad at me because I didn't want to go to a staff appreciation hangout. | So I work in a very small private office, where the staff is less than 10 people total. My manager, has planned a staff appreciation hangout for everyone to go to during work hours, where we would close the office and go together to the event. Basically the plan was that she would drive us together to another city (about 1 hour drive away) and get lunch and bowling together...but we would have to find our own way back home since she lives in that city and doesn't want to drive us back.
Few days ago I asked if I'm required to go (or at least stay for the whole time) since the event is unpaid, and I have plans later that day which I don't want to be late for (especially since I have to take public transportation back home). She said yes (is that even legal..? a mandatory unpaid work event during work hours?) then everything got sour really quick. She pretty much spoke with our boss really quick, came back and told me that either I go, or I don't... theres no option for me to leave early. That I shouldn't have any reason to leave early since this was planned 2 weeks ago and I should of set everything aside already. That public transportation doesn't take that long.... To avoid any arguments, I told her that I would go and that I just wanted to get clarification from her since she never really provided any specifics of the plan to anybody at work.
Few mins later, she comes back and tells me that the hangout is cancelled. Then later throughout the day I heard she's been telling everyone that I'm not appreciative of her and how she tries to do nice things for us. It's not that I'm not appreciative of her, it's just that the plan inconvenient to me and everyone else in the office, but I'm the only one who even has the guts to ask. I already know I'm going to have a "talk" with them on Friday for a required staff evaluation and I just want some advice on how to approach this. | Manager planned an unpaid staff appreciation hangout during work hours, asked if it was mandatory which ended in her canceling the event and her going around saying that I am unappreciative of her. |
t3_2s1gnr | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 8 years, he doesn't want to get married because he's insecure about me being his first girlfriend/sexual partner. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years, since we were 19. I know this sounds cliche, but our relationship has been fantastic and filled with happiness and love. We rarely fight and connect deeply on many levels, from hobbies to values.
We've talked about marriage for about 2 years now and he seemed happy with the idea and I was sure we would be married by 2015. We hadn't talked about it for a couple months and I brought it up, saying that we had been together for so long and maybe we should seriously think about marrying. His reaction was completely different. He started avoiding the questions and looking away nervously and giving vague answers.
I asked him what was wrong and he look at me sadly and admitted that he wasn't comfortable with the idea of marriage because I was his first girlfriend. He went onto explain that he's insecure about his lack of experience with other women and is uncomfortable that I've had serious relationships before him and he hasn't. He told me that he couldn't imagine his life having only known one woman this deeply. I asked him what he wanted to do about that and he said that he truly did not know and began to tear up. He said he felt like a douchebag for feeling this way, but commitment on the level of marriage scares him. I asked him if he wanted to leave and said, "No, you are the love of my life, but this is killing me inside. Please don't leave me."
What the fuck do I say, what the fuck do I do? I don't want to let him have an open relationship, that would destroy me inside. I don't even think I could go through with a threesome, but I can't bear the thought of losing him. | Boyfriend of 7 years doesn't want to get married because I'm his first girlfriend and only sexual partner. |
t3_1522o0 | AskReddit | What are some mortifying/terrifying dreams you hav had? I'll start. | A couple years ago I was going through some emotional problems. These problems seemed to effect my dreams greatly. Occasionally I woul have pretty brutal/morbid dreams. The one that stuck with me the most, was about my older brother.
In the dream, my brother, my mom, and myself were sitting in a small hospital like room, similar to an insane asylum room. Outside it was extremely cold and extremely dark. In Alaska, during the winter here, it is extremely cold and dark, and this seemed to reflect into my dream. Outside the one window in my room, were a row of cop cars, all with their lights flashing and illuminating the sky. We were on the 4th floor of this hospital.
For some reason we were all scared, and I remember consoling my mom. On the lone, flimsy bed, was a large caliber rifle. I remember my brother mumbling something about the police and he grabbed the rifle and positioned it on the window, aiming in. I heard one of the cops yell through a megaphone to drop the gun and surrender. My brother ignored this command and continued to home in his aim.
Seconds after that, I heard a loud bang and I saw my brother fly back. It all happened in slow motion. As he was falling back he let out an almost pitiful whimper, saying "mom..". He fell onto the ground with a large crater in the side of his cheek/upper cheekbone. Blood was rushing everywhere and I remember just staring at my brother on the ground.
As I watched him, I felt like I watched the life leave him. Almost like his soul left him. It's hard to describe, but like the life just slowly seeped out of him and he just shut down, similar to how the terminator died in terminator 2. And then the dream just faded. I woke up terrified and I felt like crying. | Brother shot in front of my eyes in my dream, I watched as the life drained from him. |
t3_25as9k | Advice | How to get a super clingy girl to back off? | There was a new girl at our school a while ago, and I didn't talk to her or hang out at the beginning of the year (I'd heard she'd already been in a few relationships since arriving). In a math class maybe two months ago I noticed that when I would look up, she was always staring. Then she started talking to me randomly, coming up to me randomly, and just sitting at our table. (At one point moving my friends chair from my side to sit next to me.) I knew she liked me, but I was told by her friend officially, and she asked if I liked her. I told her that I just don't like her in that way, and she told the girl before even replying to me. She messaged me saying sorry for creeping me out, and then we barely talked during a two week break from school. She kept messaging me asking me to hang out, and I kept making excuses (Going somewhere or just busy). Then when we got back from break she stopped talking for a while. Recently she's been messaging, and I haven't opened or read her messages, and right now she's sent me 17 over the course of a week. How can I tell her I DON'T want to talk? | Girls super annoyingly clingy and I want to tell her to go away. |
t3_1lq4xm | relationships | Found condom wrapper in the bed. Help me make sense of this?!? | So, last night my bf (32M) came to bed, and found a old looking condom wrapper in the bed. He didn't seem worried, an just tossed it out, saying it was old, and must have been from when we first got together about 3 months ago. Now, I (34F) know it's not mine, and I've never had any reason to doubt him, but I'm having a hard time making sense of this all.
One one hand, his explanation could be perfectly correct. The wrapper looked pretty old, he said he had seen it on the floor, and our house isn't exactly clutter free. It is possible the wrapper is from when we first got together. We spend a ton of time together and I haven't had reason to doubt his faithfulness. In many ways, he is everything I have ever wanted in a relationship. I don't want to overreact if its nothing, but if it is something, I need to know.
So, I'm asking for advice, r/relationships. When confronted with something like this, that could be a relationship-ending red flag, or could be absolutely nothing more than the hazards of my disdain for housework, how does one proceed?
I haven't made any accusations, but I'm not at peace with the uncertainty I'm feeling right now either. Any advice?
Also, this is my first post. If I need to post elsewhere or have broken any reddit rules, sorry, and let me know what I need to change. | found an old looking condiments wrapper, could be nothing, could be infidelity. How do I know, or do I accept uncertainty? |
t3_40tb36 | relationships | How do I tell my [23M] friend [24M] that I don't want his mom hanging out with us for things? | This is my first post on this subreddit, so I hope I'm formatting it all correctly. Let me know if I need to change anything.
Anyways...
This weekend my friend and I are going to a local comic con and he asked his mom if she wants to come with us. Yeah, they're close, and she's nice, but still, I want to hang out with my friend, not his family.
He does this for a bunch of things. A few of us planned on taking a trip to Disney last year and he was going to ask his mom if she wanted to come with us.
It'd be one thing if he was going with jis family and invited a friend to come with him, but it's different when hanging with friends and inviting a parent to come along. | I want to hang out with my friend, not his mom. |
t3_2lf3r0 | relationship_advice | [18/m] My relationship is breaking down around me | Been with my girlfriend for a good few years now, (we're in our late teens) but for the last 4 months or so everything resorts to a fight or an argument in which I feel as though I am always being put down and having the blame set upon. What makes it worse is I do still love her and she means everything to me, which makes it hurt a whole lot more. I need help Reddit as it breaks me everyday, arguments, her threatening to break up with me etc. Neither of us are happy but I can't imagine life without her. We're instrumental in each others life and best-friends too, but nothing is working | relationship has turned sour need help |
t3_3ye3mi | tifu | TIFU by carrying shopping home. | Happened yesterday. On December 21 I received an early Christmas present. A [bracelet] I've been wanting for months but never been able to afford. My parents were delighted I answered the question of "what do you want" with something other than "a trip to Disneyland". Fitbit on the left, bracelet on the right.
Boxing Day came. Australians know the sales, crowds and general chaos, which I would usually avoid. But no, this year my housemate wanted a Build a Bear Pikachu and I promised her I'd get it. While we were there we stopped to buy cheap clothes because ... cheap clothes.
I have to be careful with how much I buy because I have to carry it one handed. My guide dog stays on the left and refuses to pull a little cart. So I had a paper bag with Pikachu fitting comfortably over the right wrist. Carried the bag of clothes in that hand until we hit the grocery store and then I wedged it over the wrist too. Damn tiny handles. The walk home involved shifting bags around, trading them with my friend, etc. Didn't give it a second thought because for the past decade this is how I've got shopping home.
Once home we dumped the bags and spaced out for a while. After a short doze I woke up to realize my bracelet was gone. The clasp must have come undone while juggling bags.
I called the grocery store - not there. Everything else was closed. I've got a little bit of vision so I went out and retraced my steps as far as the station. If it was there I didn't see it. If you'd like a pathetic (but probably funny to some) mental image imagine a blind woman walking slowly back and forth across the path feeling with her feet and cane to try and find a small bracelet.
I've called the shops and the mall - nothing. I've asked at the station - nothing. Can't contact anyone else until Tuesday because of the public holiday. Will be making a police report on the slim chance someone hands it in.
My parents have insisted on replacing the bracelet, and we will be getting a safety chain put on. I'm beyond grateful they will replace it but I feel absolutely awful that I lost it in the first place. | bought a Christmas present, lost a Christmas present. |
t3_3hkzeu | relationships | Me (26/m) and my now ex (25/f) just broke up yesterday after 2.5 years. We live together. What now? | Hi Reddit. I actually don't think this is going to be so long, because I'm not really needing to vent everything on my mind.. at least right now. The breakup was mostly on her end, but we both saw it coming. Things got stale, she's been bettering her life and health while I continue to work a job I hate and drink more often lately because of said job/general outlook on my life. I don't blame her much, and we're on good terms, just both very sad.
The problem: We live together, and basically rely on each other. I rely on her car to get me to/from work and the normal daily stuff people do, and she relies on me in a financial sense that she makes enough money a month to just squeak by, whereas I make substantially more and pay for most things needed.
Our lease is active until March 2016, and I'm not sure either of us have the means (in different ways) of moving right now. I'm currently camping out in our guest bedroom, and she has our normal bedroom. She's even still letting me use her car as I need it right now, which is kind of her. Again, we're on good terms. We love each other. I just can't be what she needs anymore.
So, reddit, what should I do? Should I talk to our leasing place and see if I need to buyout the remainder of the lease and find a studio apt, or should we seriously talk about just sticking it out and living as roommates, with set boundaries and rules? Does anyone have ANY suggestions or personal experience from this? | We broke up. We rely on each other financially and otherwise. Trying to figure out the best way to handle this logistically. |
t3_3087q3 | tifu | TIFU by locking the screen door | I'm a college student, and these days have been busier than usual since exams are plenty as well as papers and projects. Now, I still live in our house since it's pretty near to my school, and also because I'm a bit clingy to my siblings.
Anyway, so after a really tiring day (I pulled an all-nighter to finish a report and a paper then had class at 7am) I got home and, as usual, locked the screen door (it can only be locked from the inside, btw). I didn't bother to close and/or lock the front door itself since I thought that I would open the door again when my sister arrives later.
I sat on the couch and put my bag down, then watched some TV to relax a bit. It was 6pm.
The next thing I knew, I heard a violent banging on the screen door. I rubbed my eyes, and I looked at the clock. It was already 8 in the evening. Anyway, I headed to the door to find out who the hell was banging our screen door, and saw some unfamiliar-looking guys. Before I could even ask what the matter was, they said something to this person behind them, whom I couldn't see the face because it was dark outside. Anyway, the guys said, "We don't have to break the door; she's awake."
And then, my sister emerged from the darkness. I unlocked the screen door, and let her in. "I was stuck outside the house for an hour!" she yelled at me. Then she told me how she asked guys from the neighborhood to break the door in case I wouldn't wake up and how my mom has been worried sick about what the hell happened to me, and then closed the door to her room with a really loud *SLAM!*
Bonus: I also got 10 missed calls from my mom and my sister. | Locked screen door after going home, fell asleep, then woke up to a very mad sister who got stuck outside the house for an hour because she couldn't get inside without me opening the door. |
t3_2nx6zz | relationships | Boyfriend[22M] of a year and I[20F] are considering moving in together following my lease termination. Religious parents may prove difficult. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Things are amazing and we've both committed to each other fully. As in, marriage is the plan. He is completely independent from his parents. They really love us together and support our decision to move in together, as long as we have backup plans.
My parents, on the other hand, give me a very generous allowance each month to help me. I don't technically need the money from them but they kind of insist on helping. They are very generous, kind, and understanding people. They, also, love my boyfriend, treat him like a son-in-law. However, they are religious and, as they are supporting me indirectly, I intend to ask them for permission to move in with him. I am not religious and have made this known to them. My father fully accepts it. My mother thinks it's a phase but begrudgingly accepts that I probably have premarital sex.
My boyfriend and I will have been dating almost 2 years by the time my lease is up on my current apartment and I would really like some advice on how and when to approach them about this. We will approach them together with a plan to write and sign a pre-move contract (similar to a prenup) describing our situations and divvying up belongings should we break up. Is it enough though? I don't want my parents to become so angry that they cut me off completely. What would you guys do? | Boyfriend and I want to move in together. My parents might be really against it. |
t3_jo3ld | AskReddit | My girlfriend is willing to break up with me because I want to donate my semen to my sister and her wife. Am I wrong? | Here's my story. I have an older sister who is a lesbian and has a civil union with her partner. We were talking about them adopting a kid then her wife came up with the idea that she wants to be artificially inseminated so it can still be "hers". (my sister is the butch one so she has no interest in carrying).
Anyway after that was said my sister presented the idea of me donating to her wife (not sexually you bastards. I know you reddit ಠ_ಠ ) I of course agree because I'm an awesome little brother. So I tell my girlfriend because I feel like this is such an awesome situation and she goes nuts. She says its fucked up and if I do it she'll break up with me.
I ask her why and she states (the following quoted from facebook):
**GF: because thats mine. u cant just give it away ur mine u didnt ask mee if u could and if u ask ima say no u cant!!**
**how u gona have babies wit someone else n ur with me not saying i want babies right now but still**
So i ask, am i wrong for wanting to do this or is she just being crazy? | My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard*** |
t3_ue95v | AskReddit | Reddit, I know we've all been there but, what was your most bittersweet heartbreak? | AskReddit has seen it's fair share of "the break your heart into tiny pieces, flood the world with your tears, and burn the galaxy with your anger stories about our past relationships".
But Reddit, what was the one heartbreak that tore you up and you look back at with a bittersweet feeling?
For me, it was my senior year of highschool, I was already seeing another girl at the time but I really started to click with one of her friends. Back then, it was just the simple things for us, a symphony date here (she loved music more than anything else), a movie there, and some smaller things like skating or bowling.
Things went on like this for awhile, I eventually parted ways with the girl I was seeing, but nothing else really changed. I could go on and on about the memories I had, like stealing out of a Math Intro Lecture (orientation at university) to explore to the university but that's another story.
That summer before freshman year, was one of the best ones I can remember. Picnics, me failing at catch, video games, you name it. Things were great to say the least, and it was the little things that made it that way for me. But, like most relationships we ended it before going off to university. I still look back, and I really miss her, not as the girl I dated, but as the best friend I ever had.
I still remember that night we spent under the stars looking for meteors? Just lying there with her, talking, laughing, sharing stories, if I could have slowed down time and stay in one memory I'd stay there forever. In that one memory, I didn't feel lonely, I didn't feel scared, confident, frustrated, lustful, bored, depressed, or angry. I felt nothing except her lying by my side, and yet it was everything to me. | Awesome friend, great girl, and I miss her. Looking for your stories, the ones that are bittersweet, the sad but inevitable ending to a great book etc. |
t3_2oiht5 | loseit | Need help coping with an SO that can eat tons of everything. | Before my SO moved in, I had a pretty easy time maintaining a 30 lb weight loss for almost 8 years. Now that he lives here, I've gained back 22 lbs. I understand it's not his fault. He's not filling my plate or shoving the fork in my mouth. I don't blame him. He's lucky enough to be able to eat 4000 calories a day, work a desk job, and sit in front of the computer all night without gaining an ounce. I still cook healthy meals most nights, but I've lost all discipline with portion control. He fills two or three plates full of food and inhales it while I sit next to him with my carefully measured dinner. Inevitably, I crack and go back for seconds. He tries to be supportive, but encouraging me to stick to my calorie counting while he licks the gravy pan clean and starts dishing up ice cream isn't all that effective.
How have you coped with living with someone who doesn't struggle with his/her weight? | need help regaining my discipline while living with an SO that eats like a lumberjack |
t3_2h2dg8 | AskDocs | Itchy red bumps, no rash, sporadic over body. Not scabies? | I have seen a physician, we are working through it as a trial and error thing but small red bumps and no rash are common enough symptoms so we are progressing.
I am 24, a white male, 6'2, 185lbs.
I've had these [bumps] for several weeks. They looked like warts and I have warts on my fingers and probably feet that I get frozen off every once in a while but there were several and they started to itch. I went to a doctor 5 days ago (3 weeks after discovery/scratching some off) for diagnosis or help (it sounded similar to scabies but it didn't seem to be drawn to tissue folds and toes. We tried the Permethrin-5% cream to see if it solved the problem and I washed and dried all my clothes on the highest settings. It appears to have done nothing.
In [this picture of my right foot] are the first bumps. They were very itch and I basically pinched them off with my finger nails and used alcohol, which itself burned a lot but they scabbed over and now do not itch at all.
There are no "line bumps" that would be indicative of the burrowing of scabies. They are not on my toes at all, either.
The album includes ones on my knee, one I found on my wrist that has been small and not very itchy. They are also on my right calf/shin a bit but they don't itch much anymore. The current itchiest ones and the biggest one are on my left foot.
They itch but if I can stop itching them, they stop itching it seems. They respond to hydrocortizone cream but it doesn't seem to be effective for long. | I have itchy bumps that look similar to scabies, but are not sporadic/spreading the way scabies seems to and don't fit many of the symptoms and did not really respond to scabies cream. Any suggestions? Any obvious questions I am missing? [ALBUM]( |
t3_jq0dc | self | I seek approval from people and it's hindering my ability just to be me/not worry/not care what others think. HELP! | I know a lot of it stems from being the younger brother in a somewhat broken family. My older sister was always something awesome, best musician, best student, best what ever and I came after. I always believed in doing my own thing and I've made my own identity, but now I seek approval from anyone/everyone I know just about. I know who I am and what I am, but am I proud to sport it? yes and no. I still look for others reactions to these things. I really don't want to expect or to be looking for attention all the time, but it's just become this way(probably from being left in the shadow of my sister). Now it's hindering my ability to enjoy myself and especially with girls. I'm a nice guy and I have things going for me, but girls can sense I'm not fully proud of it or don't fully believe in myself which shows weakness and unattractive qualities in a male. I want to be secure with what I do and who I am, even when I have a whole plan of what I want to be doing and will eventually be doing. Anyone else feel this way? anyone have advice to help just not care what others think and to care more about what I do. | I feel inferior to people around me, and I look for there approval. I want to be happy with who I am/what I do. advice? |
t3_r5rhc | AskReddit | Join me in my reddit resolution. | So I was reading this thread earlier
And I realized how far reddit has come. When I thought about it, I've been just as guilty as everyone else of dumbing down my experience on reddit. Rage comics, memes, and just general fluff are easy and fun.
But reddit can be so much more. I know most of you will say hide in the subreddits, and yeah that's an option. But I want to propose a fasting of sorts.
Join me in 1 month, starting today, of not upvoting or clicking any memes, ragecomics, cat pictures, or any pictures at all. Redditors are increasingly younger and younger, and I have nothing against kids---I work with them for a living. But it's hard for them to contribute things to an intellectual conversation.
This sound really smug. Maybe it is, but do you wanna be smug with me? | Let's boycott superficial content for a month. |
t3_1fd06n | relationships | I need an unbiased perspective on an argument between M26 and F26 | My SO and I live together and spend a relatively good amount of time in each other's presence during the evenings. We are both 26, work full time, and have our own hobbies and interests. The length of the relationship is approximately 4 years.
The other evening, we made plans to do something and about 20 minutes in, he gets a text from a friend asking to get a drink. He tells me that he is going to go hang out with his friend because he forgot that he had told him he'd get a drink with him earlier and since we see each other everyday anyway, I shouldn't have a problem with it.
I was kind of hurt by his nonchalance toward breaking our plans. He did go out and I did my own thing for the remainder of the evening. When I expressed that I felt hurt, he maintained that since we see each other so much and since he forgot he had already made plans with his friend, that I shouldn't be upset.
I can't tell if I'm being somewhat ridiculous or if he's being insensitive. I'm so close to the situation that I can't see it objectively. What do you think? | Is it okay to break plans with a gf because you live with her and "see her everyday anyway" because you forgot about supposedly previous obligations? |
t3_miwp7 | AskReddit | Why in the Hell is gold the most important thing in the world? | * | Why in the 21st century do we still pretend like gold is valuable when in all reality it's just a rock, just element # 79, just a shiny, essentially useless nugget. |
t3_289owb | offmychest | Sex is ruining my life. | I have only ever had sex with 3 girls in my life and each one it only happened once. The first one was a huge mistake where I had sex with a girl while my serious girlfriend and I were on a break (this lead to me losing the girl I loved) The second one I was so desperate for sex that I hit on my friends sister and we made a plan to do it while i was sleeping over at his house. I waited for my friend to fall asleep then went over to her room we started then her mom caught us and i was promptly kicked out. The most recent time a friend from high school really wanted to do me and I went to her party and she kept hitting on me and i kept denying her then she started getting me to take shots and I got way to drunk and I don't remember any thing about the night til my friend filled me in that she had sex with me. (I cant imagine that i was all that great considering i couldn't walk) Sooooo basically, Sex has ruined the most important relationship of my life so far, it has also forced me to keep it secret from one of my closest friends and it tears me up and I dont hang out with him as much anymore, and it has humiliated me to where I feel kind of like i was raped on some level. I have never had sex and enjoyed it afterwords. | Every sexual experience I has never lead to anything good and has instead lead to regret and deceit. |
t3_31agqa | relationships | Me (27F) and my (26M) partner of several months, feeling confused about my feelings help! | Hi
Long time lurker here, just after your thoughts. For some reason, the idea of my boyfriend having sex with other girls does not bother me.
Sometimes I fantasise he is secretly getting laid behind my back and I honestly do not care...It actually turns me on!
We are very much in love, I am incredibly attracted to him and he is to me, I am loyal and he has given me no reason to ever not trust him yet apparently I don't going by these thoughts.
I am starting to feel a little guilty that i believe is up to no good and he has no idea. I would never tell him as it would upset him and cause pointless arguments and we are still yet to have a fight.
I actually believe he is up to no good yet I feel fine by this. We have a fantastic sex life and get off a few times a week. I can not stress enough how happy we are together!
I think i have major trust issues and i am wondering if there is some way to prevent this unhealthy way of thinking? In my head, as long as he is happy and loves me, then I am happy.
Thoughts?) | What is up with me? |
t3_20a355 | relationships | My(26) mother in law (51) never invites us to little get togethers at her house | This might seem dumb to you all but my Mother in law never invites us over for get togethers at her house and it bothers me a lot. The main reason is because she invites friend from her work ( both female and in their early 20s)and their families. A week or two ago my father in laws kids came down with their new baby. We were never told about that but her work friends were there. I only know because I seen on Facebook. She never invites her own children to her get togethers but does her work friends who are younger than me. It really hurts my feelings we are not included in these events but these girls from her work are. She acts like she loves our children so much but almost never wants to see them. I have no problem with the in laws other than this. They are always very nice to me. | Mil never invites her son and daughter and their families to her get togethers but invites her early 20s work friends and I am hurt by this! Ps also wrote on my phone so sorry for mistakes. |
t3_2ley3s | relationships | My [23F] Ex [24M] says he needs to take things slow and decide if he wants me back. Is there any hope? | My ex and I dated for about 9 months when we started to go on and off. We'd break up and then get back together 2 weeks later because we missed each other too much. The main issues are that I think he isn't affectionate enough and he gets annoyed by how much I talk about my feelings. In mid September he told me he didn't "feel" it anymore and that he feels really bad about breaking my heart because I'm such a good and caring person. I pretty much begged him to give us another shot but he said it was no use. I was very upset, obviously, we talked about how marriage would be like and our children together.
Two weeks later he asked for me back and said he fucked up big time and he knew 100% he wanted to be with me. He said he knew I was his future wife blah blah. I gave him another shot and he broke up with me again 3 days later saying that he tried to be happy with me but couldn't do it. I was extremely confused and I decided to forget about him.
Basically what my question is: we've got back in contact and he said he wants to take things slow and decide if he wants to be with me or not. I told him thats very unfair to me because I'm keeping myself vulnerable while he makes his mind. I just need to know if I should just tell him to not bother deciding because I'm gone or if I should be patient and get back together or not.
Some background is that he is my first boyfriend and I was completely inexperienced before I met him. He always says he's extremely attracted to me which almost makes me think thats the only reason why he wants to give things a shot again "possibly" | Ex says he needs time to see if he wants to get back together with me, I dont know if I should just "rage quit" or be patient to see if something good could come out of this (getting back together). |
t3_4vkck7 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my [21 F] of 3 years, left me a week ago. | The long and the short of it is our relationship started 3 years ago on the premise of sex. she had emotions for another female and believed in polyamory I did not.
Around a year ago things escalated and we decided to call each other significant others.
In that year I got a new job working 60 hours a week. a second job and my father had multiple heart attacks forcing me to take care of my family. During this time I was not the most attentive boyfriend and it was really in the start of the relationship. It was my fault and the stress of everything just got to me. I would be tired wouldnt lead wouldnt plan forget events. I failed as a partner.
After she lefts me a week or so ago I finally got the help I needed in terms of anti anxiety meds, spoke with my boss about no longer working 60 hours a week *im salary btw*, and spoke with my family about how they need to start picking up their share.
I care a great deal for her as I saw amazing things in hear that i never knew about during this last year but she ended and was very stern making it clear i had hurt her too much and could never be taken back.
Is their hope for me to reconcile?
If not what do you suggest now that I have free time and do not have her to spend it with?
Thanks | She left me cause of my life and I fixed a lot of things. Can I get her back or am I doomed? |
t3_4poezj | relationships | A little different: Me [26 F] with my new friend [28 F] have had sex with the same person and I'm not sure how to tell her. | So I made a new friend and we get along really well, and I can see her genuinely being an important part of my life... but last night I found out I slept with someone she had previously dated. He meant something to her, and she was upset that a friend is currently sleeping with him. I went out with him once a few months ago (after a break-up) and ended up getting drunk and we hooked up. Part of me wants to not say anything because it was a one night thing (even without befriending her it's something I regret so I kinda just want to forget about it) but also I feel like it's something I should share. | How would finding out you have had the same partners influence your opinion of a new friend? |
t3_qapwh | AskReddit | How can I get this bank off of my back? (Chapter 7 Bankruptcy and ChexSystems problem) | I know this isn't a substitute for legal advice but I'm at work right now having a hard time focusing and thought I'd get this question out to Reddit to see if anyone has been in this situation before, I won't be able to talk to my bankruptcy attorney again until tomorrow (if I'm lucky enough to get a hold of him).
My wife and I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy in October and it's done (discharge complete). One of the discharged debts was from an overdrawn savings account I had 4-5 years ago: a company tried to take a payment out of my account that had a zero balance and the credit union was charging me overdraft fees and declined transaction fees every time these people tried to hit my account so it wound up getting overdraft like $800. **All of that negative balance was simply because they were charging me fees every time these people tried to take money from my account.**
The problem is that this credit union reported me to [ChexSystems] because of those unpaid overdraft fees. This is preventing me from getting on a checking account with my wife.
I got in touch with a rep from the credit union and she said they couldn't remove the ChexSystems report because it was unpaid. It remains unpaid because I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy. It would seem we're at a stalemate. She acknowledged the fact that I filed bankruptcy and the debt was discharged, but also continued to tell me that they couldn't stop reporting to ChexSystems because it wasn't paid.
What can I do? | debt that was discharged through chapter 7 bankrtupcy still reported in ChexSystems and preventing me from opening a checking account |
t3_29b8ot | AskDocs | Teenager with sleep deprivation problem | Hello Redditors,
I'm a 16 year old guy, I weigh around 180, and I'm 6'2'', white.
It's currently summer vacation for me and I have a few questions.
This summer, my friend and I are trying to push a certain ranking in a video game. Basically, if you win you get X points, if you lose, you lose Y points. My friend gets up at 11 am or noon everyday, and we play from then to about 1 am. In between we take an occasional break to eat between games, or use the bathroom during the loading screen.
My friend has an easier time than me, he gets tired pretty quickly. However, I'm pretty resistant. I usually stay up an extra 4-5 hours longer than he does. He gets up at 11am, goes to bed at 1am the following day. Me, I get up at 11am and go to bed at 5-6am. And then wake up shortly after. Ive done this a few days in a row now.
I've been extremely hungry, basically devouring anything that has a calorie value. Im in my basement where it's colder than room temperature, yet my hands create puddles of sweat on my mouse and computer, my eyes are sore and droopy. I have not drank coffee/pop or anything caffiened. I've never done drugs or alcohol either. Yet, my brain is completely alert, as if I have adrenaline, but my body is sluggish.
I personally hate sleeping, I find it to be a waste of time, and it interrupts my productivity. I could accomplish so much more in my life if I didnt sleep at all. Unfortunately, sleep is inevitable.
However, my question is: What are the short and long term effects if I kept this routine going on? If I get 4-6 hours of sleep everyday, and stay behind a screen for the entire day essentially. I have poor eye sight, where my retina is not aligned correctly or something, so I wear glasses, and they have UAV or a special kind of filter that prevents eyes from getting eye fatigue from a screen, but being up this long kind of affects it I think. | Behind a screen for almost 18 hours a day, and little sleep, long and short term effects? |
t3_36pbcd | relationships | Me [19M] with my boyfriend[19 M] of 3 years; My boyfriend told me today that he occasionally does meth. | So my boyfriend and I were just cuddling and having an amazing movie night when he needed to tell me something. He told me that he's been smoking meth with his other friends since last January and he only does it once in awhile. He says its not addictive for him, and he monitors and controls how much he smokes. He was explaining how it makes him feel confident, talkative, and euphoric. I also found out that he was actually high on it some of the times we've been together.
This honestly really bothers me. I've seen pictures, learned about the drug in school, and I'm extremely turned off by this. I also learned how dangerous this drug is and I don't want anything to happen to him. When we were talking about this together... He kept backing himself up by telling me to: "Do my research first on the drug before I get pissed with him". He continuously backed himself up and made me feel like I was crazy for not being okay with his occasional drug use of this. I was also surprised that he hid this from me for so long....
I don't normally ever post anything on reddit, but I really need advice and help on how I should go about this. I don't think I can be with him if he's doing this on the side. But he's an amazing boyfriend and best friend to me. I've never felt like a luckier person with him, and we've never had any huge relationship problems. I'm just shocked that I found this out.. I have no clue how to go about something like this. | Boyfriend does meth every now and then, I don't know what to do. |
t3_uxc7w | AskReddit | Do you have any embarrassing stories about someone that they think no one else knows? | I was chatting with a co-worker in a hallway and as our conversation finished up, I turned around and went into another room. It was the end of the day and I realized I left something down the hall. I turned around and saw my co-worker go into the bathroom. I had to take a piss so I stopped in, did my thing, and left. I went down the hall to grab my belongings and chatted with someone else for a couple minutes. On the way back down the hall I saw my coworker enter his office and as I approached, I saw him looking into a small mirror inspecting his eye. The next day I got a better look at it and I saw that he had a broken blood vessel in his eye and it was bright red. He was the only one in the bathroom when I was in there (and I know he was in a stall), and during that conversation we had 5 minutes prior his eyes were perfectly fine. He was shitting so hard that he broke a blood vessel and was then telling people he injured it playing basketball with his son because he didn't think anyone else saw. | co-worker shit so hard he broke a blood vessel in his eye, told people it was from playing basketball. |
t3_19zytu | relationships | My girlfriend of 3 years has never seemed very interested in me on a sexual level and it's starting to bug me... | Okay so myself (21) and my girlfriend (20) have been together for well over 3 years now, we live together.
We've always been great friends ever since we met and we share many passions like Gaming and Motorcycles.
We always have a laugh and enjoy each other's company endlessly but there one thing that's always bothered me and as time goes on it's becoming a more prominent issue to me personally.
The problem is that she won't ever 'instigate' when we have sex. I'm always the one to turn her on and get things going. I am confident that she enjoys it when we do have sex and I have no confidence/performance issues when it comes to it.
She just never teases me, turns me on or seems to even think about having sex with me and it makes me feel unattractive and really it's starting to bug me lately. I've talked to her about it twice now but nothing has come of it in the months since it was last mentioned.
I don't know what the problem is... I can turn her on easily enough and I can do certain things that can make her want to have sex with me but it's never *'spontaneous...'*
Because of this I feel our sex life has never had much of a spark and while sex isn't the biggest part of a relationship in my opinion I do still think it's important to connect well on a sexual level and I don't get that with her most of the time. We have sex sure and when we do she and I both enjoy ourselves but I just wish she seemed more interested in me.
**I'm having a hard time explaining it but I just wanted to know what you guys think and how I can handle this situation (If I'm making any sense at all.)** *^(^I've ^never ^asked ^for ^advice ^on ^reddit ^before) | My girlfriend completely lacks any sexual desire and it's becoming a real problem for me.* |
t3_3g0asr | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 11 months, interest seems to be waning in each other | We started dating right near the beginning of college and lost our virginity together. Thinks were amazing in the beginning, and I truly believed I loved her, but now things are really starting to die out. I don't really feel strongly about her until I consider leaving her, and I don't know if that's a good thing to hold a relationship around.
I talked to her, and she feels pretty much the same way. She says her feelings for me are "come and go". I guess that I would say the same. But we both agree that we should still be friends if this doesn't work out. We're currently on a break, but I mostly just think of breaks as dragged out breakups so might just cut the break and end it soon.
Is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something more? I enjoy my time spent with her, but if she doesn't want to come over it doesn't bother me at all. I could do just fine alone. The idea of losing her as a friend does hurt quite a bit though, and she feels the same. Do you think two ex's who break up amicably can maintain the same friend groups? | Interest in each other is waning, wondering if this is a dying relationship or the honeymoon phase ending. Also wondering it's a good idea for us to still be friends. |
t3_1pifov | relationships | My bf [24M] of 4 years told me he's never loved me. Long talk afterwards revealed a lot of things. What can I [23F] do? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. Our relationship has gone great, and for the vast majority of it, we've gotten along really well.
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I got mad at him for something silly. The fight escalated, and a lot of words were said, culminating in him screaming at me that he didn't love me, and never had. That ended things pretty quickly, with him apologizing profusely. I left for the night.
The next day, the two of us sat down and had a long talk. He told me that he did not mean what he said the night before, but that he's been struggling with our relationship for a while and had wanted to talk to me. He said that he did love me, but was not in love with me. He was comfortable with me, and he wouldn't want to leave me because he'd feel alone and scared to start over. However, being with me didn't make him feel happy and fulfilled. He didn't feel that special connection to me.
He said that he didn't have any issues with me personally per se. It's nothing that I did or that I've done, just a feeling he has for me. He said that he specifically does not want to leave me. He wants to find a way to make it work out, and he wants to make that connection with me.
I'm coming to reddit to ask if anyone knows a way to make this happen. He is willing to work in order for it to work out, and mentioned that he'd be heartbroken if he left me. I'd be devastated if he left, and I desperately want this to work. He's made my life something to be happy for, and I love being with him. Please help. | After a fight, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that he isn't in love with me and that he doesn't feel that connection with me. He wants to make it work and to develop that kind of connection. How can I help him do that? Is it even possible? |
t3_3ewj0h | loseit | I ate A LOT this weekend | So I went on a little binge this weekend. I'm seeing a new girl, went to TGIFriday's on Friday night, Domino's on Saturday, then a nice little Mexican Restaurant Sunday night.
I ate so. much. fucking. food.
But it's OK! We always have to remember that we are just human, and a few days of "old habits" isn't the end of the world. If anyone is reading this, and thinks because they slipped up one day (or all weekend like me haha) that they screwed up really bad, it's alright! In the grand scheme of things, this is WHY we have changed our eating habits. So we can have weekends like this and not stress about it.
I'm back onto my normal 1750 calorie instake as of yesterday, and I'm continuing on as if nothing has happened. Good luck everyone! | Cheat days and mistakes happen. Don't stress! Get back on that horse and keep trucking along. Just be AWARE of what you did, and make sure to fix it. |
t3_2wwaoi | Advice | Military now or later? | I want to join the military, but I'm not sure if enlisting or commissioning would be the better option.
I've been in college for two years, but withdrew because I really haven't been into it. I'm $20k in debt and I'm trying to figure out the next move.
Enlisted:
Many of the MOS's I'm interested in are enlisted jobs (medic, EOD, linguist). If I went, I would get a break from school, and I could use my salary to pay off my student loans, then the GI bill to return to college without having debt loom over me.
Officer:
I've already spent two years in college, and if I finished I would have a degree and go into the military. However, I would be in much more debt and have to make payments for much longer. I would really like to be a helicopter pilot, which tends to only be an officer job.
Both?
I could potentially also enlist now, use the GI bill to finish school when I get out, and then apply for OCS when I get my degree.
I hear some people say to go enlisted first, and others say it is more beneficial to go straight to college and become an officer. | Is it better to enlist first and use the GI bill for college, or go to college and apply for OCS? |
t3_1xu4xi | relationships | I [17 M] am having trouble being happy for my SO [18 F] | So my girlfriend of about a month and a half is great in so many ways. She's top of our class, driven, MVP of multiple sports teams, beautiful, etc. Hardly a day goes by without hearing someone tell her how amazing she is at all these things. Now, when we're alone, I have no problem doing the same. However, we have every single class together as I am also near the top of our class, and I have trouble when so many people tell her she is so great at so many things. Basically, I am becoming a bitter asshole about it and I hate it. (The fact that I am becoming one, not the fact that she is great) I also have a pretty long list of insecurity issues tbh and while I know it's no excuse it's just really been fucking with my head the last few days especially. Anyone care to help? | My newish gf is damn near perfect and I seem to be too immature to be happy for her. |
t3_dg5b7 | self | My Wife Needs an Awesome Birthday! | OK, My wife's birthday is a week from Wednesday. I have to work all day and she does not. We have two kids, 3 and 12, and are on a very tight budget. She *hates* having money spent on her. Seriously gets pissed off at money that she thinks would be better off going to the kids or being saved. It's one of her virtues, but it does make doing anything nice for her extremely hard. So, her birthdays tend to be underwhelming. Reddit, I love my wife. We've had our issues and gone through some tough times, but she's an amazing and beautiful woman with a heart of gold. I need to give her a good birthday. It needs to make her feel special, and I can't spend much on it. I'm lousy at birthdays anyways. I'm the one that gives kids cards with money. HELP ME! I NEED IDEAS! She deserves the best, and I've got nothing here, Man. So if the hive mind can shoot some help my way I'd be forever in your debt. Thanks ahead of time to everyone. | My wife rocks, I got no $. She needs a b-day. HELP! |
t3_jqxdd | AskReddit | Accidentally walked out of work with item in pocket. Boss thinks I am stealing | Basically, title says it all, I work in a sports shop, and walked out of work with some goggles in my pocket (I had spent 2 hours tidying goggles up) and the ones in my pocket had no case.
It got into my pocket because a customer started talking to me and I just put them in there and forgot about them (My boss then asked me to do something else)
What should I do now? I'm next in work on thursday, boss wants to talk to me then. Should I expect to be fired?
Note: It WAS an honest mistake, I wasn't stealing them, I already own some goggles which I don't use | My boss caught me walking out of work with some goggles in my pocket (I had forgotten they were in there) I don't even swim... |
t3_iikc7 | dating_advice | Need advice on how to continue from okcupid message | I'm a 23 year old male with an okcupid account I hadn't checked in over six months. Upon logging in yesterday for the first time in forever, I saw I had a message from a cute 21 gal. This was the message:
*You were in my quiver, and since I'm pretty sure I'm probably more awesome than you are...I thought I'd send a helloooo your way.*
Only, she sent the message 6/9, so almost a month ago. I sent a reply, although I didn't explain why it had taken me so long to respond (thought of it after the fact). This was my response:
*hey! sorry it took me so damn long to respond. I'm pretty sure my awesome score just went down a few notches for that...so you MIGHT have me beat. How are you on this hot day?*
Somehow I just **never** saw the email a month ago that I had been sent a message on OKC. I think that last line in my response was kinda dumb now that I'm looking at it...No response from her yet, although I know she's read it because she logged in and viewed my profile yesterday also.
Anyways, on to my question. Would I be better off sending a second message explaining what took me so long to respond? I don't want her thinking I was dating someone at the time. Or should I just forget about it?
Also, to the ladies of /relationships, how would you handle this situation? Would you think to yourself "dude took too long, lost his chance" even if you were still single (which her profile says she is)? | girl messages me on okcupid a month ago, i just now see it and respond, no response from her yet, should I continue to pursue, and if so how? |
t3_het0s | loseit | I need help losing weight! | Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, so your support is appreciated. :) I'm a 21-year-old girl, 5'6" and ~130lbs. I'm kind of active, my job has me walking around 25+ hours each week and I walk all around school. I'm starting to get back into cardio, but I used to do it three times a week.
I previously had a personal trainer through my gym for a month or so but that was ridiculously expensive--I basically did an hour of sit-ups, some weight training and so on, then went on an elliptical for half an hour. I found a nutritional plan through apex fitness (the gym sold their products) I lost some weight at first, but my diet seems to be the problem. When I strayed from the gym's diet, the results stopped showing.
It's not that I eat too much or eat bad food all the time, I don't eat enough. That's the problem--I don't eat meals throughout the day, I eat small snacks, a bowl of special k cereal for breakfast, and a small dinner. I don't really drink soda and when I eat fast food I get a stomach ache (since I rarely eat it). I think I need to cut carbs from my diet, but this is all so confusing and sometimes overwhelming/discouraging.
I get a lot of weird looks when I want to lose weight, since I'm not chubby or overweight, and it's been hard trying to ask people about it since they think my weight means that all my fat is placed evenly throughout my body. NOPE. My midsection and thighs have attracted most of the fat and I hate it.
Anyway, sorry for rambling--I'm just looking for tips, inspiration, and ideas. I've started back up at the gym and I'm focusing on weight training. | I weight around 130 and I want to lose 25 pounds. I'd like to find a more solid diet to help me lose weight, and any advice is appreciated. :D |
t3_1ukare | relationships | I, [25 M] was dumped by my ex [30 F] after 6 months, wants to still communicate. Unsure what I should do. | Hey Everyone,
So things were going well with my ex until about a month ago when she broke up with me.
The gist of it was she wasn't "feeling the same connection"; she thought the age gap didn't bother her, but it kind of did; she didn't like driving me around everywhere (I used to have extreme anxiety issues, I am working on getting my license now that I'm less anxious). She wanted someone who "takes more charge" since she is constantly the one in charge of things (work, her father has cancer, terrible things that have happened to her parents' house due to weather etc.)
We met in person after she broke up with me on the phone, and she said she needs time to mull it over. We met again, and she said that her feelings are unchanged. I said I was okay with that. I told her I can't wait forever, and if either of us sees someone else, no harm done.
One thing that sort of remains unresolved is our interaction post-breakup. We have chatted a little bit on Facebook about our common
interests, and I'm fine with that. Last correspondence was her texting me about baking stuff for her friends, and how they loved it at her party. I didn't reply.
I've never been friends with an ex like this before. I'm not sure if talking about everyday life is normal, or if I'll end up being used as an emotional crutch without the benefits of being together. Has anyone had a good experience with maintaining a friendship post-breakup? | Was dumped by my ex of 6 months. Wants to keep in contact, but I don't know the line between a friend and being used. |
t3_2p2dtg | personalfinance | What should people do when the economy is falling apart (Russia, year 2014)? | Hello, fellow redditors. I would like to request an opinion on the situation in general and what is the best strategy as for now.
For those who are not familiar with what's happening right now in Russia: the RUB/USD and RUB/EUR exchange rates have gone up almost 100% during the last 6 month. In other terms, the national currency has depreciated significantly. So now everything that's imported (which is, like, 80% of the goods that are consumed by the general public) is getting more and more expensive. The Russian stock market has plummeted (from 1400+ points to aroung 700, where it was during the economic crysis of '08).
Most of the people now buy cars and electronics like crazy, go on vacations, trying to spent the money they still have while it still has some purchasing power.
And my personal situation: I have just over 12k in USD and the same ammount in RUB. No credits, no loans, no mortgages, no rent. Paid for the car in cash, paid for the flat in cash, got my University diploma for free. Car: '08 Toyota Avensis with 70k miles on it. Although, the salary is pretty low now (I work in a public school.)
So the question is: what is the best strategy to save money in times like these for those who can't invest in real estate and the like. Should we run and buy Accords or is it better to lay low and buy canned food? | When the economy is in the toilet, what should people do? |
t3_vvgdv | AskReddit | What does Reddit consider a building? More details/explanation inside. | Before you read any of this, please refrain from comments like "Well obviously not, you're retarded." or "Are you actually serious?" I'm just curious what is considered a building.
Are twin towers, such as the [Petronas Towers] a single building? They're attached together, and share a foundation. If you say they are a single building then proceed. If you disagree, I suggest you stop here.
Vancouvers [Skytrain] [Link isn't working, add a ")" at the end of it] system is "running mostly on elevated guideways" and the elevated guideways are independently standing. They connect all of the Skytrain Stations. By the same logic as before the whole system is one large structure. If you agree, proceed, if not, halt.
Many of the stations are built so one can have easy access to the major center they're near. [Metrotown] [Waterfront Station] and [Pacific Center] are good examples of this, being directly built into another building or having walkways built to connect them together. This effectively attaches them together, arguably making them one unified structure. If you can accept this, then please continue on. If not, I urge you to stop and not risk being provoked.
So if all the stations built into/attached to other buildings/malls/etc being unified structures and all the stations, via elevated guideways, are one unified structures, does that make all them together one whole structure? If so, is it one [incredibly large and spread out building]
Aside from that question, what is a building to you guys? What is the most simplest structure that can be defined as a building and is there a certain level of complexity it can reach making it no longer classified as a building? | What makes a building a building? And could a skytain transit system connected to multiple malls/complexes be considered a building? |
t3_4p0e1e | relationships | I [21 M] kissed a Friend [24 F] who's in a relationship, now she won't talk or even look at me. | I have feelings for her, but at the same time she's one of my best friends. She has gotten herself recently in a long-distance relationship and I told her I had feelings for her. She said she was confused, and that she wanted to be faithful. I agreed.
A week later we were talking and she explained why she chose him. I was a bit tired of the situation, so when we went to hug and say good bye. I kissed her. She freaked out.
I apologized and wrote her a letter telling her how much I value our friendship. I gave it to her, she hasn't responded. (I don't even know if she read it)
Now she won't talk to me or even look at me.
I understand I am the one at fault. I want to regain the friendship. I'm pretty sure I'm over her for now. What can I do? | I kissed my best friend that was just in a long distance realtionship. She freaked out and won't talk to me. |
t3_16d0pl | relationships | Please help me. My boyfriend[19] cannot trust me[20] at all. What can I do to fix this? | My boyfriend[19] and I[f;20] are both in college.
I'm a freshman and he is a sophomore.
Even though I was in a relationship with my ex then, I had sex with my current boyfriend on the first night I met him.
My current boyfriend knows that I cheated on my ex with him.
We have been going out for about 3 months now. I really want to make this relationship work, because he is a great guy and I really do appreciate him.
However, he seems to have issues with trusting me.
I guess it is because he knows that I had cheated on my ex.
I am also guessing it is because I struggled with quitting cigarettes.
I promised that I would quit smoking, but I continuously have been struggling. I had to confessed to him that I had smoked many times when he asked me before.
I do understand why he cannot trust me, but do you think there is anyway I can fix this?
It just saddens me a lot, because I do like this guy very much.
How can I gain my trust back? Please help me. I really want to make this relationship work.
I have never been attracted to someone this much before and he just seems like a perfect guy. I want him to be able to trust me, because I think trust is a big part of relationships.
Please help me... | My boyfriend [19] cannot trust me [20] because I have cheated on my ex with him and I have broken promises when I told him I'd quit cigarettes. How to gain back trust? Because I really want to make this work. |
t3_4om3j1 | relationships | My boyfriend [20M] wants to pay to fly me [20F] to Europe, and I feel guilty. | My boyfriend is living in Europe for 8 months on a job there. You might've seen my previous post about how I'm financially supported by my parents, who aren't okay with me spending any money of my "own" to go to visit him.
He's offering to pay for my ticket because he says 1) he would be paying the exact same for him to visit me and 2) getting to see me matters more to him than the money does.
I feel really guilty about it. If I choose to reject the money, I'm disregarding my boyfriend's feelings about money that he would be spending anyway and I know he would feel frustrated that I was telling him what not to do with his own money. If I choose to accept the money, I feel like I'll be indebted to him, and my parents will feel like they've raised a greedy person who feels totally fine grabbing someone else's money for her own happiness.
I'm stuck. Should I take it or not? | Boyfriend wants to pay for me to visit him in Europe since I can't pay. Should I take it or not? |
t3_1wk2ka | relationships | Me (m21) and my coworker (f19) stop "seeing" eachother, this "lets be friends" isnt working out. | For one, YES I am now aware why you don't date in the work place haha. A little backround, I met this girl all the way back in September at work. We hit it off well but trying to make plans with her was a pain the in the butt. We went on a couple dates then on one of them, I finally kissed her. She felt embarrassed and said "i never kissed a guy like that before" (shes never had a boyfriend). Later on during the months we did things couples normally do. Everything was great.
Later on she seemed a little distant and the communication sucked honestly. Then finally after our last date we went on, she told me the whole thing was bothering her and she was uncomfortable about it. I stayed mature about the situation (of course I was MAD AS HELL). The only thing she told me when we first started dated was "guys go after me then give up". So I thought maybe she just isnt ready (but who knows). she told me she was glad she could share this whole experience with her and still wants to remain friends but damn. I honestly felt like she was seeing someone else and didnt want to hurt my feelings.
Recently I haven't seen much of her (hours are being cut for everyone) and I havent made an attempt for contact her. Twice shes texted me asking where ive been and shes been worried (work related accident) , then a text on my Birthday. It upseted her that I haven't tried to say hi and she hates that we dont talk but again, what does this woman want? Just never dealt with a girl like this so its frustrating. She thinks I "hate her" but im just giving her space.
Im going out of town for about 8 days and im sure she'll notice but I dont know if I should say anything. Kind of just want this whole thing to blow over. Feel like im being a little immature about this. Thoughts reddit? | in the "friendzone" after me and her split, dont really have the patience to be just friends with her |
t3_3hk98p | relationships | Me [26 M] need help with my gf [25 F] of 10 months. Just moving in with her and freaking out. | OK, so, as most people seem to say, this may be a wall of text and I am sorry in advance.
I have been dating a girl for 10 months, 6 months of which was long distance while I worked ina city 3 hours away. In that time, things were great, we chatted almost daily and messaged and met most weekends and did some fun stuff in our respective cities.
I get a job back in the city she is from on a 5 year contract and we make plans to move in together. Nice flat down by the bay.
Here comes my problem: I have issues with emotion and my brain hates anyone trying to get close to me, however, before it knows that someone likes me, it wants to do everything it can to get them attached. I feel feelings but I do not really feel emotions the same way as most other people it seems.
So, now I find that I am freaking out when she tells me she loves me, is excited about X or looking forward to Y and I turn physical affection into a game, i.e. her trying to kiss me involves me opening my mouth super wide or some shit. Sexually, I struggle to perform because all my brain wants to do is get out.
Before this switch flipped, I genuinely believed I wanted a life with her, that she was great etc.
Finally, on top of this, she is not a fan of me being in regular contact with my ex [26/F] whom I dated for 4.5 years but we have been apart for a similar amount of time and just pretty good friends with very similar tastes. The more it comes up as a problem, the more I seem to miss that relationship but that may be another problem. | Moving in with relatively new gf on year long contract, freaking out at any sign of attraction/future or attachment. Is this the norm? |
t3_1yep0z | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend[22/M] of 3 years, left me and I am heartbroken yet relieved. | I met my boyfriend when I moved to SD. I was only 18 at the time and I've been with him ever since. He broke up me last night and I apologize for not including a lot of detail. I just really need someone to talk to. For the first time since I've moved out here I feel very alone.
Details: I noticed a former co-worker of his started to comment a lot on his fb, she would comment through two different profiles, in the first one there is a picture of her and her boyfriend, the second profile is of her but with a different last name. Thought it was strange, I noticed when he would check his messages her second profile was the one she used to message him back. He left it open and curiosity got the best of me, he was very flirty with her, not playful innocent, but more sexual. I asked him about her a few days later, and he answered me pretty quickly saying he didn't know anything about her relationship with her boyfriend and he stays out her business but I was caught off guard because I didn't ask about her relationship I just wanted to know who she was. Right then and there he told me to pack his stuff up and he'll pack my stuff up because we were done. I was dumbfounded. I packed his stuff, drove to his house and left. | Boyfriend of 3 years broke up with my last night, I feel alone and have no one to talk to. |
t3_13rc8m | dating_advice | I (16M) have a crush on a girl (15), but she made out with another guy and dumped him 2 weeks ago. | I've (16M) been kinda having a crush on this girl (15) which I've known since like 5 months. We haven't been in a relationship but we made out at parties a few times and some times were we met.
She is a nice and cute girl but always seems kinda stressed.
Now I find out that she has been making out with another guy during the time we got close. She dumped him 2 weeks ago but I still feel kinda bad about it.
I'm not too sure if I'm in love with her, on some days it feels like I do, yet on others it doesn't at all.
Tell me /r/ what I could do, or what you would do If you were me. | been making out with a girl, find out she had another guy but dumped him |
t3_3g5hqi | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend[20M/F] of 1 year, Shares personal information with a friend [23m] in a different state before me she shares it with me. Is this considered emotional cheating? | So my girlfriend has known this guy that she met online for quite sometime. She's never seen him in person, but they often talk over Skype about personal issues a lot of the time. We've been together for a year, and so far the relationship has been fantastic. I just have an uncomfortable feeling about this because of the things she shares with him.
For example, my girlfriend has never been able have an orgasm (I'm her first) and it really bothers her. Before talking to me about how it frustrates her, she went to him because he's had a lot sexual experience and he's "chill about it". She also went to him first when she had a few family and academic issues that she thought would concern me. I've confronted her about it and she apologized and said "I go to him first because he's so far away and he feels disconnected". She also wants to plan a trip to go visit him sometime in the future.
Am I crazy to think this is weird? What do you guys think? | Girlfriend has known this guy who lives in a different state for a few years before me. They've always been close and she still shares stuff with him before coming to me. |
t3_1jlfgl | AskReddit | How much does an office IT guy make on average? | I posted this here because I didn't know where else to go for answers. I've tried google searching different ways, and I can't seem to find a decent answer.
I'm in Iowa, and I'm having a meeting with my boss tomorrow about defining my position at my company.
Some background:
I've been here for 4 years.
Minimum wage here is 7.25 / h
I work 30-40 hours a week.
I handle everything involving the computers in my office. Just to name some of the stuff I do here: Set up new accounts, troubleshooting any issues, scheduling marketing campaigns, running our software, managing a server cabinet with all of the connections in my office. Along with this, I also do Sales.
My question simply is: How much money should I be asking for? | How much money should an average IT guy in an office be making? |
t3_4rz12x | relationships | My[20,M] gf[21,F] doesn't want to use protection for her first sex. | Hi everyone! I'll try to keep it simple and short.
I've been dating a girl (Joana) for more than a year now and we have been there for one another through everything that we've been through.
I've just been waiting for the right moment for our first sex cuz everyone wants their first sex to be special isn't it ?
So last night she was at my place and we were making out when I asked her about her preferences (if any) and she said she would like it with scented candles and stuff but then no condoms or protection (she says it's okay for the second time onwards but not the first time). She also says that if in case she turn out to be pregnant she would like the keep the baby.
I'm worried about my career and my future at this point and wouldn't want to get involved in having a child. Moreover, I really love her at the same time and wouldn't want to lose her either. | gf (21,F) says she wants to have sex without protection the first time and I'm worried about the consequences. Please help! |
t3_qvuus | BreakUps | I brought up a concern that my bf turned into a fight. Is it a sign we should break up? | I'm 19f and my bf is 22m. We broke up a few months ago for the first time with no definite reason. He wasn't happy and was stressed out by other things and broke up with me. A few days later we got back together "unofficially" for a month, and then he dumped me again, what I thought was for good. After a bit of complications he decided he wanted me back and tried to work to gain my trust back. We got back together for 2 months.
He just started a new job, and is car hunting. While yes I understand he's busy, I brought up a concern I had with barely hearing from him and that our conversations seem to only be fueled by me. I let him know how I felt and that I just wanted to be able to have a fulfilling conversation with him. Rather than understanding my point of view, he goes off on different topics, first bringing up how I add stress to him by talking about my emotionally abusive step mother to him in confidence at times and then lists all of his problems...pretty much saying it was unnecessary to tell him my stresses when he has his own. Then he goes on to ask if I brought up my concern because of being jealous of other girls, which sparked another issue I had with him about allowing girls to hit on him. He then goes on to saying his reason for dumping me the first time was because our relationship was unhealthy...which was news to me since the break up came at a time I was happy with our relationship and was shocked he wanted out. Now, I agree it isn't healthy...since if I ever bring up an issue, it turns into a fight. He goes on to also say sorry I'm a terrible bf and guilt trip me the majority of the conversation. | My bf turns a concern I had into a huge argument with strung out issues. How should I talk to him about this? My friends say I should end it but I don't want to. If I do, how should I go about doing it. I love him but I need to be with someone who has the same feelings for me, and right now I just don't know how he feels about us... |
t3_23jfge | books | "Is Reading Too Much Bad for Kids", via Al Jazeera America | On April 18, Scott Timberg wrote ["Is Reading Too Much Bad for Kids"] for Al Jazeera America in which he asked whether making kids read **print books** rather than **digital books** was doing them a disservice.
The article actually asks two different questions: why are kids reading less, and does reading in digital environments change how we read.
Unfortunately, it doesn't answer either question with the science we know. In fact, the piece is filled with several scientific fallacies (except the part that explains that 'multi-tasking' doesn't exist).
Still, the original article offers an interesting insight into how and why people mis-identify reading problems and instead blame technology.
I've written a response examining the science of reading called ["On Why Reading Too Much is Exactly What Kids Need"] if you have happen to want an overview of the science of reading comprehension.
Aside: Before I was a writer and professor, I was trained to teach students who had reading and writing problems. The | version: devices have no bearing on our comprehension and attention span. Reading skills do. |
t3_xvqoj | AskReddit | I just became an Ordained Minister and a Notary. What other "Holy shit. I can do that?" things like this are out there? | I was browsing the internet as usual and stumbled upon a site that will let you become an ordained minister through their church. Also found out I could be a public notary by just signing up (and paying fees of course.) I'm looking for things that are beneficial to an extent but I don't want to have to put a ton of time into it. I'm a single parent with a full time IT job, I just think it's cool I could marry/bury people then make the documentation official. Oh, I also got a Doctorate from them in Divinity. So what other cool shit can I do out there reddit? | I'm an ordained minister/public notary/Doctor thanks to the internet. I need more. |
t3_x2ps1 | AskReddit | Seeking a solution to a conflict between to friends of mine. What would you do or suggest? | I have a friend (We'll call him Partario) who has a girlfriend that he has been with for nearly 3 years. My other friend (We'll call her Olivia) is not very fond of Partario's girlfriend. She let it slip at a party how she feels about Partario's girlfriend in front of him. Partario got really upset about this and allegedly ripped into Olivia about what she said. They were really good friends before this and they are both my good friends. I want them to reconcile so that we can can hang out as a group again and so I can freely mention their name in the presence of the other. Both of them see themselves as the victim and neither of them will apologize. I don't think either of them really care too much to come to a resolution. Am I out of luck? What should I do? | How do I get two friends to come to a resolution over hurtful words exchanged when neither will accept fault? |
t3_417ytq | relationships | I [20 M] don't think my girlfriend [20 F] should be texting her friend whilst he's with us, sat right next to her. Am I wrong? If yes/no, why? | So yeah she always wants to go out on weekends so we go out with about 5 other people most weekends. She's always texting this one guy, she never actually talks to him, only texts him, whilst he's either sitting next to her on the sofa, or at a restaurant sat across from her or next to her or whatever. Bear in mind I'm sat next to her as well. What are your immediate thoughts on this? Thanks. | Girlfriend texts male friend instead of talking to him whilst he's in the same room. Is this wrong? If yes/no, why? Thanks. |
t3_4r7edn | relationships | Me [20 M] with my SO [18 F] of 4 months, worrying about age difference? | Hi all,
I met my current girlfriend through a mutual friend several months ago. We attend the same university and have been "official" for four months. We are currently on summer break, and she is spending the break in her hometown about 15 minutes away while I'm staying in my off-campus house.
I've started having some concerns around the time the summer break started: her parents seem to be against us having a sexual relationship, and are very against us being "alone in a house together." As a result, she has to constantly make up excuses to them so she can spend the night at my house and it is very stressful for her.
Further, she has to ask her parent's permission to do pretty much anything with me, and her parents have a habit of canceling our plans together to make her come along on last-minute family outings, even when they know of our plans.
I see this as slightly intrusive and overbearing by her parents as she is 18 and has just finished her first year away from home in college. I've asked whether she'd consider voicing her concerns to her parents but she just says they don't talk about those things in her family.
Frankly, I'm starting to think that this is becoming a problem due to the age difference between us. We are only a year apart in school and a year and a half age wise, but we are in different places in terms of our responsibilities and relationships to our parents. Because I live on my own, I do have housemates, I no longer have a curfew, have to ask for parental permission for all my plans, or hide aspects of my relationship from them. At times, especially when her parents cancel our plans, I feel like I'd be better off with someone closer to my own age, who has more adult responsibilities and less of an authoritative relationship with their parents.
This is still a pretty new relationship, so I'm wondering whether this age difference is really a big issue or whether I'm just overthinking all of this. | Wondering whether age difference between me and GF is too big of an issue |
t3_2ee4bt | relationships | Boyfriend [25] of two years will not add me [22f] on Facebook. He claims it'll cause problems. I'm not sure what to think. | He told me that it will cause problems. Claims he hardly gets on there, but doesn't want me to be asking questions when someone comments or likes something on his page.
I feel sad. He's my bf shouldn't I be allowed to see his Facebook? He also added that he has pictures of me on there. That made me feel a little better.
I'd still like to hear what you guys think. Is it okay for couples not to be friends on Facebook? Does he have a point? Do you think he might be hiding something? Also he doesn't have a relationship status. | boyfriend will not add me on Facebook. Says that it'll cause problems. |
t3_tokyu | relationships | To Be Honest and Open At A Price or Be Safe And Quiet? | Me (24F) Him (26M) relationship of 9 months.
Going to keep this short and to the point. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I have been diagnosed now for 8 years. I don't have abandonment issues and I don't self mutilate. I do however suffer from distorted reality, impulsive decisions, loss of self, lack of empathy and fits of aggression.
My SO has had an incredibly unfair and unlucky life. He is a CF survivor and I love him, there is no question about this. With that being said.. Its really hard for me to be in this relationship because of my BPD.
I told him very early on in our relationship that I was diagnosed with it but he hasn't looked into it or even know what it means. I want to talk to him about it but I feel like it would be introducing drama and I don't want that.
So reddit my question is: Should I seek out private therapy and leave my SO out of my BPD struggles or should I open up to him about it? | My SO has had an extremely hard life and although I struggle with BPD I don't feel right bringing it up to him because I feel like it would be creating drama. Do I seek private therapy and leave him out of it or open up to him? |
t3_10sdqk | relationships | My boyfriend (16/M) wears ratty sneakers and I (16/F) am probably going to sound like a bitch... | As it said in the title, my boyfriend (16/M) and I(16/F) have some fashion issues. We've been dating for six months and some odd days.
He wears these ratty sneakers EVERYWHERE. They literally have holes in them, and no matter how many times I politely point it out or ask him to please throw the damn things out, he uses the same excuse, "These are *mine*, and I'll throw them out when *I* want to."
His grandmother bought him a perfectly good pair, and I've seen him wear them, I think, twice.
As a girl who plans out what she's wearing, it irks me. I always try to look presentable for my boyfriend, I don't want people thinking he's dating a sloppy, hobo-appearing girl.
Well, I don't want people thinking that I'm dating a sloppy, hobo boy. He's generally very good about his jeans and t-shirts, never wearing too much bright colors or too much dark colors, a good mix. He'll have an off day where he's wearing a bright shirt and light jeans, but he's a human, I expect it. His ratty, old, falling apart sneakers are the only thing he wears on a day to day basis, except for when he's in JROTC uniform.
Not only do I want him to be presentable, I worry about the arch in his foot falling because I doubt the ratty sneakers have any support in them anymore.
So, my question is: How do I get my boyfriend to throw out his ratty sneakers without being a controlling bitch about it? | My boyfriend wears ratty sneakers, and I want him to throw them out and start wearing his perfectly good new ones for arch support and to look presentable. |
t3_goet1 | AskReddit | Any Drunken Heroics You Don't Remember? | A few years ago, I ran into a girl I knew pretty well in college at a bar she was the manager of. She was throwing drinks at me, wouldn't let me refuse. After a few, she told me she has felt indebted to me because of something I did at a college party.
Her story was that her and a friend were drugged at a party and were trapped in a back room of the house. Out of nowhere, my friend and I burst into the room like gangbusters, grabbed the helpless girls and carried them out.
While not 100% unlikely, I remember none of this. My friend remembers none of this. I did not deny a thing. | Gift horse...no look in mouth. |
t3_x6x8n | relationships | Moving to the other side of the planet. SO said she loves me; I'm not sure if I should say it back because there's no future in the relationship. | Background: I'm 35 and in the military and my (I guess prior) SO is 29. I found out that I must move to Japan less than a month after we started dating and informed her as soon as I found out; I also said that "I'm not willing to do the long distance thing". She spent the following 4-5 months actively pursuing jobs around Tokyo with no luck.
Anyways, I've been traveling (slowly) to Tokyo this month and a few nights ago on Skype she told me that she loves me. I feel the same way but don't think it's right to tell her because there is no (likely) future in the relationship. BTW I've never been in love or at least told anyone as such. I want her to get over me as soon as possible and be happy with someone else... It just feels really bad. | I'm moving to other side of planet and broke it off with SO. She told me that she loves me on Skype and now I conflicted. |
t3_4za9qq | relationships | I'm [23F] seeing a guy [36M] who is really nice and smart, but I hate the way he dresses. | I know the age difference is really weird. Feel free to comment on that. Anyway, I've been seeing this guy for a few months, and he is a good guy... Not perfect, of course.
I know this sounds shallow but his fashion sense makes me embarrassed to go out in public with him. He doesn't even have a sloppy style per se-- it's an immature style. I get that he wants to feel young and his face does look like he's in his 20's, but wearing clothing like a 15-year-old is too much.
He has a thing for graphic t-shirts with "cute" sayings like "I'm just here to annoy you" or "I don't give a duck" with a picture of a gigantic rubber ducky.
He does not wear these shirts to be ironic. He genuinely likes them and buys new shirts every week. Just thinking about his other shirts makes me cringe.
Obviously I don't want to be controlling and tell him what to wear. I'm not even sure if he would be open to dressing differently since he has over 100 shirts... And I feel shitty for even wanting to change him. Also, he recently asked me if he should dye his hair tips blond (he has dark brown hair)... I said no because I don't want to be dating the equivalent of Guy Fieri or 1990's J. Timberlake!
Anyway, is it normal to feel bothered by something so superficial? What do? | guy [36M] I'm [23F] dating dresses like a young teenager and it embarrasses me to go out in public with him |
t3_29msds | relationships | Me [35M] with my girlfriend [25F] together 6 years, at a crossroads due to lack of sex | We met each other about 6 years ago. Long distance relationship at first but eventually we moved in together. Emotionally we are at a great spot. She knows and understands me more than my family and I know her better than she knows herself. It's wonderful.
The problem is that as we became closer emotionally, our sexual situation has become nonexistant. First 2 or 3 years were pretty active, but now not even once a month. Why is that? I'm not sure. A few years ago she found out her thyroid level was slightly lower than normal. But she hasn't done anything about it. Possibly because she doesn't like the idea of having to take something on a daily basis, for something that is only slightly low. For me, over the last 18 months, I feel my desire for sex to be increasing. But it's hard to get into it, knowing (and seeing) she just doesn't have gusto, or desire for it.
Over the last few months, I've brought up wanting to have sex more. She's said she enjoys it when we do, but just doesn't have the desire for it often. I've brought up the idea of some type of open relationship, and she is very against that.
What do I do? I feel foolish to break up with her over sex, because everything else is really great. On the other hand, I think eventually this situation may breed resentment. This [comment] in DeadBedroom does not give me hope.
As a side note, I just discovered /r/DeadBedrooms/ just a few moments ago. It seems I'm not alone in my situation. That is both comforting and depressing. | Great relationship, but no sex. Do I break up because of it, or just deal with it because everything else in the relationship is great? |
t3_syi6e | AskReddit | How can you take my mind off things? Conspiracy theories, space anomalies, unsolved cases | It's in the 90s where I live, and it's only April. I'm stressed out. I've been drinking heavily for the last year or so, and I'm anticipating a nice long summer of doing the same.
I'm an unemployed writer. Aside from blogging on as many subjects as possible, I write fiction. Mostly short fiction. If you've ever read Borges...well, he's a big inspiration. If not, think Twilight Zone. I need your stories of the unexplained. Personal experiences, conspiracies, etc. You can link me to websites or whatever to help my research. I'm a big fan of astronomy also, so if you know of any bizarre or unexplained astronomical phenomenon do tell. In doing this you'll be helping me to get my mind off some personal issues that I can't force right now, and at the same time motivating me to be productive. | What's the most bizarre, inexplicable thing you've ever encountered? What's the creepiest "true" story you know? |
t3_1hyazi | relationships | My[30F] boyfriend[32M] of 3 months is very good friends with his poly ex (ex as of about a year) and I don't know how to handle it. | Hey /r/relationships,
obvious throwaway is obvious.
So, I have this boyfriend, who's a great guy, seems to love me to bits, wants to spend every minute of free time with me -- except.
- He lived with his ex and her husband until pretty recently. They moved in together a while ago, the relationship deteriorated, they stayed roommates and friends.
- I'm kind of his only social contact apart from a few people at work, one activity partner (once every two weeks), and said ex. The Ex also was his "first everything".
- It seems to me that when I don't have time for him, he'll go to his ex' "to talk". She's married and has a boyfriend, and I am convinced that there's nothing sexual going on between them at any level. Still, I've met her only once, at a party of his, during all the time we're going out. He'll always only meet with her when I'm definitely busy. Not once has he tried to set up a meeting between the three of us, or both of us and her husband and/or boyfriend.
- He's not going there every time I don't have time, but often enough to worry me.
- Last time they met at the party, he kissed her on the mouth (a peck). He told me she was "like family" and he's doing that with all of his family members. I asked him not to do that anymore, and he agreed.
Now, I know he's not cheating physically, and I technically don't have anything to worry about, but it still feels kind of wrong to me. I just can't put a finger on the "why". Can someone please help? It feels like I'm going crazy here. | Boyfriend meets up with ex when I don't have time. |
t3_2wv5ny | relationship_advice | My (M 21) SO (F 19) of six months sees most recent ex as friends. Do I have reasons for concern or am I insecure? Details below: | It is my first long-term relationship and as such I'm not quite sure whether my feelings are reasonable or over-the-top.
We have been together for six months and she ended her previous relationship another six months prior. She had been friends with this guy before they got together (it lasted slightly less then a year) and while they weren't good for each other romantically, she claims that they work great as friends and that she really cares about him.
Now she sees him over dinner at a restaurant about twice a month and text for maybe 10 minutes per day. She adamantly maintains that it's only friendship and that she's perfectly happy with our relationship, except maybe that she feels I don't trust her.
The truth is, I really don't know whether I do or not. She has never given me a reason not to trust her. And I guess in a relationship "innocent until proven guilty" applies. However, the fact that there seem to be things she can talk comfortably to him about and not me hurts quite a bit. She has for example said that sometimes when she's sad she prefers to talk about it with him rather than me. I guess there's a bit of a trust issue on her side as well.
I realize I can't separate them and that she'll hate me if I'd genuinely try. I have suggested hanging out all three of us, just so I can see what their chemistry is like, but she said that while she's fine with it, she doubted that he would like to meet me. Fair enough, I thought, but at the same time, is he really the one to set the ground rules in this case? In a way, it's him I don't trust, more than her.
Should I just let it go, bite my tongue and accept it as long as nothing else happens? Do you have any tips on how to get over my insecurities. It's really annoying and takes away from the enjoyment I get from an otherwise wonderful relationship.
[ | ] Girlfriend of six months sees recent ex, whom she has a lot of trust in and can talk to about anything, about twice a month over dinner. It makes me uncomfortable and I've asked to get to meet the guy but she says he doesn't want to. The relationship, sex and all, works great otherwise but her dependency on him bothers me. What do? Thanks |
t3_2df03x | relationships | Me [23F] with my SO [23M] of nearly 4 years - I am not happy and think it's time to break up, but I still love him... how do I do this? | We have been on a rollercoaster of a relationship for too long. I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to write out all the nitty-gritty details of our ups and downs, but as a brief background, we have had a lot of really great, happy times - he is my best friend, and was before we even dated - and a lot of really dark, scary times, that eventually end in tears and promises of changes that never happen (or at least don't usually stick). For a number of reasons, I'm beginning to see that as much as I love him, it's not realistic for me to expect us to magically work again like we once did and for us to be happy together like we once were.
Basically, I think I am realizing it's time for me to get out. I want to be happy again.
But obviously, this is way easier said than done. Logistically speaking, we live together, and both of our names are on a lease for another year. I'm going to have to find a new place in a city I'm not that familiar with, and probably help him find a roommate to take over the lease (I have been trying to stick it out on the lease for a while now, and just don't think it'd be healthy for me to try to stay here another year). And that's not even the hardest part. We almost broke up once already recently, and didn't, because it was easier to seek each other's comfort and hold onto each other making promises to work it out than bear the pain of losing each other. I tried so hard amidst the mess to fight the urge to knock on his door and give him a hug... and just couldn't hold myself back.
I know it's time. I can't keep repeating this cycle. But from where do I summon the willpower to stick with the decision, instead of running back to this person who I've sought comfort from for 4+ years? :(
Any advice would be very much appreciated... | I think it's time to break up with him, but I still love him and don't know how to find the strength to do it without running back to be in his arms afterwards |
t3_1dfj8t | relationships | I (m 18) am a logically minded person and have trouble communicating with my (f 52) mother. | First post here, so mercy. A little clarification first. My parents are currently going through a divorce of which I am somewhat caught in the middle. I am 18 and male. I don't get along well with my father and that's not what this post is about. Recently the stress from life has pressured my relationship with my mother (52). We conflict constantly in conversation and she says it's because I am too argumentative and have to prove myself right. I feel like she's just looking to be validated and told she's right. As important as validation is I see this one sided kind of conversation to be excruciating and non-social. Do women really just want to be listened to instead of exchanged with? The reason I posted this is not so people can prove me right but rather that I can find a solution to make our communication two sided and reasonable to both parties. Obviously there is something I'm not seeing or realizing and it's killing me. I haven't received similar comments from friends. | I (m18) have communication problems with my mother (f52) (go figure). |
t3_2nqen1 | relationship_advice | 28m taking a break with my 27f gf of two years, unsure we should get back | My gf 27f and I 28m are currently on a relationship break.
I made a move out to a new state and city to be with her and support her until she found a new job.
I was able to provide a living for both of us and help her pay her basic expenses and student loans. Her parents were unable to help her and the burden ended up on my shoulders. Eventually we had a lot of money issues since I micromanaged a lot of finances and was very worried about my depleting savings.
I became more of her parent when it came to managing money. Eventually it spread to her issues and we had difficulty being intimate. She felt she was being nagged, while I was fearful we would end up broke from overspending our tight monthly budget.
We tried communicating our issues a few times and ended up making compromises. It was hard to change, but we did it slowly. After about one year of living together and two years together, we realized we were not happy living with each other. A lot had to deal with money and how tighy budgeting really restricted our love life.
Every time we went out, I could not enjoy myself because I was thinking about how much it was going to cost me.
She took steps to curtail spending and but we constantly had unexpected spending of all sorts. Every month we were barely making budget at the expense of our sanity and free time.
We eventually drifted and became more roommates than lovers.
Now we have been on break for over a month. I realize living alone is a lot easier and I dont feel responsible for another person's expenses. I would like to figure out if getting back with her is worth it.
I fear I will end up paying for everything again and become another bank account. | I supported my gf financially for close to a year. Money issues lead to relationship issues. Currently on break and free of financial pressure. Wondering if I should get back but afraid of being a open bank account again. |
t3_3cpm2u | relationships | He (23m) followed me (24f) to the bookstore. | So I (24f) had a cheating ex (23m), we were together about 6 months, and I finally told him he needed to leave me alone. I told him maybe in time we can be friends again, but right now it's all to raw and I can't get over him if I keep talking to him. So I told him I was going to block him, he said no need to block him he would just leave me alone. So I didn't block him.
So the next day I went to the book store and got home, as soon as I got home I got a phone call asking if I had fun at the book store.
He was apparently coming to my house to talk to me, saw me leaving and followed me. Then he went shopping, bought me a present and came and gave it to me.
The past month I have been telling him that I couldn't talk to him anymore, but I kept talking to him for some reason. So I think this time he thought it was going to be the same type of thing. I think when he came over he thought I was just going to be OK.
It's pretty amazing, he hasn't talked to me in 2 days. But I don't know if he just stopped talking to me or is just driving past my house, which he did when we first broke up and I didn't talk to him for a few days. To be completely honest I miss talking to him so much. I know that it's way better for me not to, but I just miss having that connection with someone.
My sister told me I should get a gun and all this stuff and I was like he's not going to hurt me. I know that, it was ridiculous of her to even think that. I just don't understand why he would follow me around. Did he not realize how creepy that was? | Ex boyfriend followed me to the bookstore and called me to tell me about it. |
t3_tzsnj | AskReddit | Help getting over my bestfriend | Hey Reddit. For the last 14 years (I'm 19) I have been pining over my bestfriend (we will call Anna) in the entire world about a year ago she told a friend, who in turn, told me that "I couldn't date him we are too close, it would be awkward" Jump forward to today I have been dating a girl for almost 9 months now, but I still have intense feelings for Anna.
I have been through all the guides a multitude of times I have at this point removed her from my life but at least once a month thoughts of Anna pop into my head and I have to start the same "grieving" process all over again and I really hate myself for it. I can't keep this up and I have exhaused every other resource. Reddit, please help. | bestfriend since I was 4 friendzoned me, a year later I keeping going through the getting over her process and it hurts each time. What is your best advice for getting past her? |
t3_gcoqp | relationships | Is her jealousy unreasonable, or am I? A little help understanding the love of my life please! | I'm a 24-year-old guy, and have been with my 22-year old girlfriend for 2.5 years. For the past year, it has been long distance - I got a job in Europe, she's back home studying in Canada. For the most part, the relationship is holding together and even progressing remarkably well. Only occasionally, spouts of insecurity and jealousy spring up. My girlfriend has visited me here before and met all my friends, but she is still very uncomfortable with my going out for lunch/ice cream/ whatever with another girl if it's the two of us, or with 2 friends who are a couple and another girl, so it may look like 2 couples. I would never arrange any sort of get-together with just another girl and I, even a friend I have no interest in relationship-wise, and I am as certain as I can be she has no interest in me in that way. I often reassure my girlfriend that I am not interested in any other women, and do not find any of my female friends attractive. I would never dream of cheating on her. She says she's not worried about my faithfulness, but rather how it LOOKS to other people if it appears that I may be 'with' another woman, because according to my girlfriend it would 'make her look stupid.' I just can't seem to convince her that, this worrying about how strangers may interpret the sight of me in the presence of a woman as us being in a relationship, is inconsequential and irrelevant. I understand it makes her uncomfortable - but I'm trying to show her that it's a waste of time, energy, and even poisonous to our relationship. | In a temporarily long-distance, long-term relationship with the woman I love. She's not comfortable with my going out with any women, including friends, if it may appear that we may be a couple. Is this unreasonable, or is my position that how others see me should not matter unreasonable? Thanks in advance for any help! |
t3_2syhbo | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] 4 years, we break up and get back together, then she cheats on me | So my girlfriend and I have been on and off for a while, since early high school, and are attending the same college. We got into a fight and broke up for about a week, and while we were separated, she slept with someone she met on tinder.
I was hurt that this happened so quickly, but she begged for me to get back with her and that she wouldn't talk to this random guy she met online ever again. Now I've found out that she has been talking to this guy (she says while intoxicated), and the guy is driving to the university to visit her. She never told him we got back together, and has been hiding her contact with him from me.
What should I do? End it or reconcile? | Girlfriend and I split, get back together, find out she hasn't been committed. |
t3_ewz72 | offmychest | I hate my family | Seriously, I cannot stand those fuckers. I have five siblings, the eldest is in law school studying to be a lawyer and a die hard liberal. Every time I talk to her she tells me how my political views are wrong, my chosen fields of interest (business/finance/gaming) are of new use to society and that I should respect people more. My next oldest sister goes to school in Chicago and never makes an effort to even respond to my texts/bbms. (for those of you that don't know what bbm is it's a program that allows you to know if people have you read your messages) my next oldest sibling is a huge whore and every time I hang out with her she vomits on me/my car/something close by me. Case in point, the last time I was home she threw up in my trunk, didn't tell me until I found it, bite my cheek when I was ignoring her while trying to find my dog (which she kicked btw) and she also broke a picture frame with a photo of a friend of mine who died in it. My next oldest sibling is my brother who is a huge, douchey football player who thinks he walks on water because he dates a girl who's blonde and has boobs. Big Fucking Deal. The next sibling is my sister, an annoying ass scrub who always complains about things to me that I don't care about. My parents are also anger provoking to me. My dad & mom waste no opportunity to tell me how disappointed they are with me or how angry they are that I don't want to follow my dad into medicine like my brother. Anyway, screw them, I'm going to enjoy my life without them. | 5 Siblings |
t3_18e0hj | relationship_advice | How do I express my feelings without anyone getting hurt? | I am 26 female, single mother of two. My bf m29 and he has no kids. My bf and I have known each for two years but have been dating for 2 months. I really like him and he is everything I have ever wanted in a man. My problem is he keeps bringing up past relationships and why they didn't work. And I have heard these stories more then once and have never gotten upset or said you have already said that to me. or when he brings up all the girls that want to ride his motorcycle and I cant help that he is either trying to compare me to them or telling me what not to do. Or when he tells me he doesn't want kids but will treat mine like his. I'm scared that he isn't in this relationship like I am. I am ready for the whole settle down and have a family and be happy with one person and I don't know if he is ready or not. I don't talk about past relationships because they are in the past and that is where they should stay. We had sex for the first time a month ago. We both decided it was best that we wait and not make our relationship based off sex. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings about things. The only serious relationship I have ever been in was my kid's dad and we never talked about anything. So how do I go about telling him how I feel about him and what I want without making myself look like a fool? He is the first guy I have had meet my kids in the two years I have been separated from their dad. I just don't want to get hurt anymore and I don't want to bring them into a relationship that isn't going to last. | Single mom with two kids dating someone who doesn't, how do I go about talking about my feelings without getting hurt? |
t3_176hvv | dating_advice | I(20m) met this pretty Indian girl(20F) in my econ class. | So today, I got to know her better. I had her a long time ago in my Political Science class although I didn't realize it before she told me. She's actually really pretty( Light tan skin, gorgeous hair) compared to most Indian girls that I've seen. We're talking for a long time outside of the class building and I thought she was waiting for a ride. Nope, turns out she drives her own car, so that gave me a thought that she might have an interest in me. I accompany to walk her to her car since the school that I go to usually has reports of muggings. While we are talking I glimpse and see that she is playing with her hair while she's looking at me, so that basically says that she's really interested in me, right? We get to her car and she offers to give me a ride back to my other class. I said no thanks but she insisted because she didn't want me to walk all the way back. We say bye to each other after she drops me off. WE JUST MET AND ALL THIS HAPPENS. So what do I do? I like her as well, but I don't want move things with her fast.
BTW What's up with Indian and Middle Eastern girls having an interest in me? I've noticed that since high school. | Met a pretty Indian girl and we got to know each other pretty well. Has a huge interest in me. Need help on how to move things slow with her. |
t3_19pm8n | relationships | My[25] girlfriend[22] that I started seeing in August 2012, was kissed by someone at a party, but i think she did the rights thing. What do you think? | So my girlfriend was at a party. She was really drunk, and was also been feeling really low at the time. Anyway, to make this short, some guy grabbed her and kissed her. She said she kissed back for a moment, then realized what was happening, pushed him away and told him that this was inappropriate. She immediately left the party and basically cried and was upset the rest of the night. She told me what had happened right away.
Now I am not upset by this at all. Under those conditions, I probably would have reacted exactly the same. However, she still feels really terrible and is beating herself for it. How do I help her recover? Or am I being too soft? | My girlfriend was kissed by someone else, she reacted, pushed him away and told him it was wrong. She feels guilt, how do I help her get over it? |
t3_539sz1 | relationships | Me [20M] at 1:2 M/F College. Only made friends with girls and i'm going insane. | I'll start off saying that I previously didn't have many friends who were girl or any real close guy friends before transferring.
Like may people college was a new beginning for me "fresh start". Where I ended up going has a 1:2 M/F ratio. Some people may find this funny, I am petrified, but the only people I have been hanging out with now are women. From my experience most of the guys I have met so far either idiots or are just odd, which is confirmed by my lady friends.
I am a "pleaser" and I am always nervous about whether everyone like me. I won't say I don't absolutely enjoy all the attention but... good things can't last forever. If people start to hate me I will be devastated (although this is part of life and people will just tell me to deal with it). Now my friend circle only consists of ladies and I can feel myself going insane. I don't want to hurt anyone or give anyone the wrong ideas. I know many people would kill to be in my situation but I am losing my mind because my libido is off the charts ATM. I'm not sure if this is contributing to my insanity but I have been doing nofap for the past month and I feel like I am dying because of it.
Now that you know my situation here are my questions/issues.
* Is it alright if I can't find any decent guy friends?
* How will my situation inevitable backfire on me.
* I can already feel some of them wanting more than general friendships out of this.
* In the future if I would like to date an individual, without causing my other lady friend to hate me, how might I do this? Or is this an unwinnable battle I have gotten myself into?
* Any tips would be greatly appreciated. | I am a male at 1:2 M/F college. Never had a GF (by my own choice) let alone many female friends. All my friends are females and I am going insane. Most of the guys I have met are idiots or our personalities just don't seem to mesh well. |