Title
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⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
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| Addressed Character
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THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You know, you can't be so particular. Nobody's perfect. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I know, I know... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know Jerry, it's a good thing I wasn't so particular. | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Idiot... (To Jerry) So who're you looking for, Sophia Loren? | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | That's got *nothin'* to do with it. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | How about Loni Anderson? | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Where do you get Loni Anderson? | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Why, what's wrong with Loni Anderson? | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I like *Elaine* more than Loni Anderson... | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What are you two talking about? Look, Elaine just wasn't "the one". | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | And this other one's "the one"? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I dunno, maybe... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So ask Elaine there for the number. | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I can't-- she'll get upset. I never talk about other women with her, | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | especially this one tonight. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | How could you still see her if your not interested? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | We're *friends*. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Doesn't sound like you're friends to me. If you were friends you'd | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | ask her for the number. Do you know where this other one works? | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh yeah... | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, go up to the office. | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Up to her office? | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Go to the building. She goes out to lunch, doesn't she? | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I guess... | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, you stand in the lobby, by the elevator, and wait for her to | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | come down for lunch. | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You mean "stakeout" the lobby? | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Morty, that's ridiculous. Just ask Elaine for the number! | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He doesn't want to ask Elaine for the number. | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So you've got him standing by the elevator like a *dope*! What | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | happens when he sees her? | Helen | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He pretends he *bumped* into her! | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know what? This is *not* that *bad* an idea... | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What does she look like? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I dunno. Hard to say. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What actress does she remind you of? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Loni Anderson. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Loni Anderson?! | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What, there's something wrong with Loni Anderson? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Hey listen, thanks again for running over here. I appreciate it. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, sure. I was showing a condo on 48th st. Besides, you think | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I wanna miss this? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm a little nervous. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, me too... | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | If I see her, what do I say that I'm doing here in the building? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You came to see me; I work in the building. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What do you do? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm an *architect*. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You're an *architect*? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm not? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I don't see architecture comin from you... | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I suppose *you* could be an architect... | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I never said that I was the architect. Just somethin' else... | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Alright, she's not even gonna ask, if we *see* her, which is remote. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well what'dya want me to say, that I just wandered in here?! | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | We're having lunch with a friend-- he works in the building. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What is *his* name? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Bert... Har... bin... son. Bert Har-bin-son. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Bert Harbinson? It sounds made up. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No good? Alright, how about Art... Corr..... | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Art Corr... | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | ...velay... | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Corvelay? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, right. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, what does *he* do? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He's an importer. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Just imports, no exports? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He's an importer/exporter, okay? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Say, did Elaine ever call you back? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, I guess she's still mad. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I don't understand, you never talk to her about other women? | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Never. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Wait a second... That's her... on the right. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I forgot who I am! Who am I?! | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You're you. We're having lunch with Art Corvelay. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Vandelay! | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Corvelay! | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Let me be the architect, I can do it! | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Hey, hey... Pamela's birthday party, didn't I see you there... | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Jerry. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Sure! Hi! | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | This is George. ("Grasps" for her name) I'm sorry... | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Vanessa. | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Nice to meet you. | George | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ah, Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | That's right! What're you doing here? | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, were meeting a friend of ours for lunch. He works here in the | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | building. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, Art *Vandelay*. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Really? Which company? | Vanessa | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I don't know. He's an importer. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Importer? | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | ...And exporter. | George | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He's an importer/exporter. | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm, uh, I'm an architect. | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Really. What do you design? | Vanessa | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Uh, railroads, uh... | George | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I thought engineers do that. | Vanessa | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | They can... | George | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know I'm sorry you had to leave so early the other night. | Jerry | George |