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phosseini

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multimodal_satire

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https://babylonbee.com/news/supreme-court-rules-states-cannot-place-undue-burden-on-abortion-providers-right-to-make-tons-of-money-off-killing-babies

Supreme Court Rules That States Cannot Place Undue Burden On Abortion Providers' Right To Make Tons Of Money Off Killing Babies

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-simpsons-to-require-all-voice-actors-to-paint-themselves-yellow

The Simpsons Will Now Only Use Voice Actors Who Permanently Dye Their Skin Yellow

https://babylonbee.com/news/southern-baptist-convention-to-remove-southern-from-name

Southern Baptist Convention Removes 'Southern' From Name

https://babylonbee.com/news/doctors-recommend-locking-down-and-reopening-repeatedly-until-everyone-has-nervous-breakdown

Doctors Recommend Locking Down And Reopening Repeatedly Until Everyone Has Nervous Breakdown

https://babylonbee.com/news/crest-introduces-new-more-socially-conscious-tooth-blackening-paste

Crest Introduces New More Socially Conscious Tooth Blackening Paste

https://babylonbee.com/news/dixie-chicks-change-name-to-three-persons-of-non-specific-gender-and-regional-background

Dixie Chicks Change Name To 'Three Persons Of Non-Specific Gender And Regional Background'

https://babylonbee.com/news/protesters-near-sodom-and-gomorrah-tear-down-lots-wife

Protesters Near Sodom And Gomorrah Tear Down Lot's Wife

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-cops-kanye-and-candace-with-kira-davis

Podcast: Cops, Kanye, And Candace With Kira Davis

https://babylonbee.com/news/mastercard-changes-name-to-equalitycard

Mastercard Changes Name To Equalitycard

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-college-assigns-wives-to-unmarried-pastoral-graduates

Bible College To Provide Complimentary Wives To Unmarried Pastoral Graduates

https://babylonbee.com/news/updated-less-problematic-history-books-will-only-have-what-happened-in-the-current-year

New, Less Problematic History Books Will Only Include What Happened In The Current Year

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-think-weve-found-all-the-institutions-founded-by-racists-and-we-can-just-stop-looking-for-them-now-says-planned-parenthood-spokesperson-nervously

'I Think We've Found All The Institutions Founded By Racists And We Can Just Stop Looking For Them Now,' Says Planned Parenthood Spokesperson Nervously

https://babylonbee.com/news/cities-successfully-preserving-existing-statues-by-re-naming-them-all-karl-marx

Cities Protecting Statues By Disguising Them As Karl Marx

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-defies-liberals-by-chugging-entire-bottle-of-aunt-jemima-syrup-at-rally

Trump Defies Liberals By Chugging Entire Bottle Of Aunt Jemima Syrup

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-horrified-as-kids-give-him-noose-for-fathers-day

Man Horrified As Kids Give Him Noose For Father's Day

https://babylonbee.com/news/mr-nezzers-chocolate-factory-under-investigation-for-violating-child-labor-laws

Mr. Nezzer's Chocolate Factory Under Investigation For Violating Child Labor Laws

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-announces-attendance-at-his-next-rally-will-be-mandatory

Trump Announces Attendance At Next Rally Will Be Mandatory

https://babylonbee.com/news/infographic-is-something-racist

Infographic: How To Tell If Something Is Racist

https://babylonbee.com/news/with-statues-gone-pigeons-forced-to-poop-on-rioters

With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters

https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-christian-cant-wait-to-get-to-heaven-so-he-can-lecture-god-on-privilege

Progressive Christian Can’t Wait To Get To Heaven So He Can Lecture God On Privilege

https://babylonbee.com/news/civil-war-socialism-and-the-simpsons-the-dinesh-dsouza-interview

Civil War, Socialism, And The Simpsons: The Dinesh D'Souza Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-authorizes-use-of-mount-rushmores-laser-eyes

Trump Authorizes Use Of Mount Rushmore's Laser Eyes

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-says-empty-seats-were-for-jesus

Trump Says Those Empty Seats At His Rally Were Actually Reserved For Jesus

https://babylonbee.com/news/down-with-white-supremacy-or-whatever-shouts-crowd-as-they-tear-down-statue-of-the-fonz

'Down With, Uh, White Supremacy Or Whatever!' Shouts Crowd As They Tear Down Statue Of The Fonz

https://babylonbee.com/news/fox-announces-night-at-the-museum-4-revenge-of-the-statues

Fox Announces 'Night At The Museum: Revenge Of The Statues'

https://babylonbee.com/news/protesters-attack-presbyterian-worshipers-after-mistaking-them-for-statues

Protesters Attack Presbyterian Worshipers After Mistaking Them For Statues

https://babylonbee.com/news/twitter-introduces-new-send-mob-feature

Twitter Introduces New 'Send Mob' Feature

https://babylonbee.com/news/navy-seals-to-be-replaced-with-social-workers

Navy SEALs To Be Replaced With Social Workers

https://babylonbee.com/news/abraham-receives-another-bazillion-ties-for-fathers-day

Abraham Receives Another Bazillion Ties For Father's Day

https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-warn-nation-to-brace-for-spike-in-dad-jokes

Experts Warn Of Spike In Dad Jokes Today

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-nominates-himself-to-the-supreme-court

Trump Nominates Himself To The Supreme Court

https://babylonbee.com/news/washington-post-calls-on-patriots-to-change-offensive-name

Washington Post Calls On Patriots To Change Offensive Name

https://babylonbee.com/news/fathers-day-gift-guide

Father's Day Gift Guide

https://babylonbee.com/news/cancel-culture-despite-problematic-past-jesus-still-offering-to-cancel-sins-of-the-world

Cancel Culture: Despite Humanity's Problematic Past, Jesus Still Offering To Cancel Sins Of The World

https://babylonbee.com/news/planned-parenthood-clarifies-black-lives-only-matter-once-theyve-been-born

Planned Parenthood Clarifies Black Lives Only Matter Once They've Been Born

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-told-you-so-whispers-ghostly-image-of-george-orwell-hovering-over-nation

'I Told You So,' Whispers Ghostly Image Of George Orwell Hovering Over Nation

https://babylonbee.com/news/cancel-culture-isnt-real-removed-from-bookshelves-after-authors-old-tweet-surface

Bestselling Book 'Cancel Culture Isn't Real' Pulled From Stores After Author’s Old Tweet Surfaces

https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-now-open-on-sunday-but-only-for-black-people

Chick-Fil-A Now Open On Sunday But Only For Black People

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-flashlights-and-duck-tape-with-brent-mann

Podcast: Flashlights And Duct Tape With Brent Mann

https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-takes-vow-of-silence-to-end-racism-gains-bipartisan-support

AOC Takes Vow Of Silence To End Racism, Immediately Gains Bipartisan Support

https://babylonbee.com/news/churches-forced-to-widen-doors-so-returning-congregants-can-get-into-building

Churches Scramble To Widen Doorways As Congregants Return From Quarantine 50 Pounds Heavier

https://babylonbee.com/news/veggietales-creators-reveal-all-characters-are-fruits

VeggieTales Creators Reveal Characters Were Fruits All Along

https://babylonbee.com/news/having-been-betrayed-by-republican-judges-conservatives-vow-to-vote-republican-even-harder-next-time

Having Been Betrayed By Republican Judges, Conservatives Vow To Vote Republican Even Harder Next Time

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-legislators-retire-in-peace-since-supreme-court-doing-their-job-for-them

Democrat Lawmakers All Retire Since Supreme Court Doing Their Job For Them

https://babylonbee.com/news/report-the-squirrels-are-up-to-something

Report: The Squirrels Are Up To Something

https://babylonbee.com/news/alarming-police-video-shows-miami-csi-joking-about-murder-victim-before-putting-on-sunglasses

Disturbing Police Footage Shows Miami CSI Joking About Murder Victim Before Putting On Sunglasses

https://babylonbee.com/news/toyota-reveals-the-prius-has-been-gay-this-whole-time

Toyota Reveals The Prius Has Been Gay This Whole Time

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-social-justice-study-bible-replaces-all-mention-of-sin-with-systemic-oppression

New Social Justice Study Bible Replaces All Mention Of Sin With 'Systemic Oppression'

https://babylonbee.com/news/activists-fight-racism-by-making-sure-pop-culture-depicts-only-white-people

Activists Fight Racism By Driving All People Of Color Out Of Pop Culture

https://babylonbee.com/news/cracker-jacks-changes-name-to-more-politically-correct-caucasian-jacks

Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-program-helps-people-of-color-adopt-a-white-liberal-to-speak-on-their-behalf

New Program Helps People Of Color Adopt A White Liberal To Speak On Their Behalf

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-has-obtained-gods-timeline-for-the-rest-of-2020

Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained God's Timeline For The Rest Of 2020

https://babylonbee.com/news/breaking-feminist-laughs

Breaking: Feminist Laughs

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-heroically-prevents-history-from-repeating-itself-by-removing-all-references-to-history

Liberals Heroically Prevent History From Repeating Itself By Removing All References To History

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-admit-they-get-all-their-ideas-from-the-bee

Democrats Admit They Get All Their Ideas From The Babylon Bee

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-honor-of-pride-month-james-cameron-reveals-the-terminator-is-gay

In Honor Of Pride Month, James Cameron Reveals The Terminator Is Gay

https://babylonbee.com/news/scotus-hopes-no-one-realizes-they-lost-their-only-copy-of-the-constitution

SCOTUS Hopes No One Realizes They Lost Their Only Copy Of The Constitution

https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-the-supreme-court-building-just-started-sliding-down-a-slippery-slope-at-an-incredible-rate

Oh No! The Supreme Court Building Just Started Sliding Down A Slippery Slope At An Incredible Rate!

https://babylonbee.com/news/fly-fornication-and-other-puritan-names-the-dustin-benge--nate-pickowicz-interview

Fly Fornication And Other Puritan Names: The Dustin Benge & Nate Pickowicz Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-to-end-racism-we-need-more-racism

Op-Ed: To End Racism, We Need More Racism

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-announces-he-is-gay-so-he-cannot-be-fired-from-the-presidency

4D Chess: Trump Announces He Is Gay So He Cannot Be Fired From The Presidency

https://babylonbee.com/news/missionaries-bring-gospel-to-chaz-by-translating-bible-into-primal-screeches

Missionaries Bring Gospel To CHAZ By Translating Bible Into Primal Screeches

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-says-his-civil-war-will-be-even-better-than-lincolns

Trump Says His Civil War Will Be Even Better Than Lincoln's

https://babylonbee.com/news/five-year-old-starts-abolish-bedtime-movement

Five-Year-Old Starts 'Abolish Bedtime' Movement

https://babylonbee.com/news/black-lives-predicted-to-matter-until-november

Democrats Clarify That Black Lives Will Only Matter Until November

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-enacts-tariffs-travel-ban-on-chaz

Trump Enacts Tariffs, Travel Ban On CHAZ

https://babylonbee.com/news/uh-oh-war-breaks-out-in-chaz-over-who-gets-to-hold-the-conch-shell

Well, This Can't Be Good: A War Just Broke Out In CHAZ Over Who Gets To Hold The Conch Shell

https://babylonbee.com/news/miracle-every-marshmallow-raptured-from-familys-lucky-charms-box

Miracle: Every Marshmallow Raptured From Family's Lucky Charms Box

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-establishes-manlier-chad-camp-next-to-chaz-camp

Trump Establishes Manlier CHAD Camp Next To CHAZ Camp

https://babylonbee.com/news/protesters-pull-down-joe-biden-after-mistaking-him-for-old-racist-statue

Protesters Pull Down Joe Biden After Mistaking Him For Old Racist Statue

https://babylonbee.com/news/black-sabbath-changes-name-to-person-of-color-sabbath

Black Sabbath Changes Name To Sabbath Of Colour

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-accused-of-racism-for-claiming-that-all-humans-are-one-race-made-in-the-image-of-god

Bibles Pulled From Shelves For Outdated Idea That All Humans Are Of One Race And Made In The Image Of God

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-not-all-cops

Podcast: Not All Cops

https://babylonbee.com/news/removal-of-guns-from-looney-tunes-expected-to-expand-appeal-to-big-sissy-babies

Removal Of Guns From Looney Tunes Expected To Expand Appeal To Big Sissy Babies

https://babylonbee.com/news/merriam-webster-to-determine-all-definitions-using-twitter-polls

Merriam-Webster To Determine All Definitions Using Twitter Polls

https://babylonbee.com/news/paw-patrol-replaces-chase-the-cop-with-karl-the-antifa-rioter

Paw Patrol Replaces Chase The Cop With Karl The Antifa Rioter

https://babylonbee.com/news/acknowledging-their-position-of-privilege-white-democrats-resign-from-congress

White Democrat Leaders Take Stand Against White Privilege By Resigning From Congress

https://babylonbee.com/news/seattle-protesters-abolish-police-replace-with-squads-of-armed-officers-tasked-with-enforcing-set-of-agreed-upon-rules

Seattle Protesters Abolish Police, Replace With Squads Of Armed Individuals Tasked With Enforcing Set Of Agreed-Upon Rules

https://babylonbee.com/news/desperate-seattle-police-hit-antifa-with-fire-hose-of-axe-body-spray

Desperate Seattle Police Hit Antifa With Fire Hose Of Axe Body Spray

https://babylonbee.com/news/911-operator-asks-caller-being-assaulted-if-hes-checked-his-white-privilege

911 Will Now Require White Callers To Press 1 To Check Their Privilege

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-propose-new-open-concept-prisons

Liberals Propose New Open-Concept Prisons

https://babylonbee.com/news/fox-to-release-die-hard-movies-with-john-mcclane-edited-out

Fox To Digitally Remove John McClane From All Die Hard Movies

https://babylonbee.com/news/matt-damon-to-star-in-pro-life-thriller-the-unbourne-identity

Matt Damon To Star In Pro-Life Thriller 'The Unbourne Identity'

https://babylonbee.com/news/mcgruff-the-crime-dog-put-down

McGruff The Crime Dog Put Down

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-solemn-ceremony-democrats-perform-the-cha-cha-slide

Dems Reach Out To Blacks With Solemn Performance Of The Cha-Cha Slide

https://babylonbee.com/news/lego-replaces-police-with-antifa

New Lego Sets Replace All Police With Rioters

https://babylonbee.com/news/reality-criticized-for-not-having-as-many-lgbtq-people-as-netflix-shows

Huffington Post Criticizes Reality For Not Having As Many LGBTQ People As Netflix Shows

https://babylonbee.com/news/congressional-democrats-unable-to-get-back-up-rescued-thanks-to-life-alert

Congressional Democrats Unable To Get Back Up Saved By Life Alert

https://babylonbee.com/news/drew-brees-sets-new-nfl-record-for-number-of-apologies

Drew Brees Sets New NFL Record For Number Of Apologies

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberty-for-lil-ones-the-connor-boyack-interview

Liberty For Lil' Ones: The Connor Boyack Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-propose-replacing-all-police-with-traveling-bands-of-hippies-singing-imagine

Democrats Propose Replacing All Police With Traveling Bands Of Hippies Singing 'Imagine'

https://babylonbee.com/news/tebow-says-he-was-kneeling-before-it-was-cool

Hipster Tim Tebow Reminds Everyone He Was Kneeling Before It Was Cool

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-special-edition-of-braveheart-wallace-tells-scottish-to-stay-home-stay-safe

In Braveheart Re-Release William Wallace Just Tells The Scottish To Stay Home, Stay Safe

https://babylonbee.com/news/christian-censored-on-facebook-added-to-foxes-book-of-martyrs

Christian Who Was Censored On Facebook Added To Foxe's Book Of Martyrs

https://babylonbee.com/news/pd-agree-to-replace-all-weapons-with-socially-conscious-slam-poetry

Los Angeles Police To Undergo Intensive Socially Conscious Slam Poetry Training

https://babylonbee.com/news/antifa-member-lectures-d-day-veteran-on-how-to-fight-fascism

Antifa Member Lectures D-Day Veteran On How To Fight Fascism

https://babylonbee.com/news/local-dad-names-his-kids-thirsty-hungry-and-bored-just-for-the-jokes

Dad Names His Kids Thirsty, Hungry, And Bored Just For The Jokes

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-app-syncs-all-your-social-media-to-latest-virtue-signals-so-you-never-look-problematic

New App Automatically Updates Your Profiles With The Latest Virtue Signals

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-death-star-blows-up-alderaan-in-mostly-peaceful-demonstration

CNN: 'Death Star Destroys Alderaan In Mostly Peaceful Demonstration'

https://babylonbee.com/news/jk-rowling-releases-the-controversial-harry-potter-and-the-basic-biology-class

J.K. Rowling Releases Controversial New Book 'Harry Potter And The Basic Biology Class'