Datasets:

jamesliu23

/

simpsons

like 0

Oh, for the love of...

What's wrong with this phone? It's making crazy noises.

Those "crazy noises" are computer signals.

Yeah, some guys at M.I.T. are sending us reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.

They're out of their minds!

I heard about this. This is the one where Scratchy finally gets Itchy.

My purpose in life is to witness this moment.

We need the outlet for our rock tumbler.

Plug it in! Plug it in!

What? The rock tumbler or the TV?

The TV! The TV!

No, actually, it was a little of both. Sometimes when a disease is in all the magazines and all the news shows, it's only natural that you think you have it.

Where's Mr. Bergstrom?

I don't know. Although I'd sure like to talk to him. He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?

That life is worth living.

The polls will be open from now until the end of recess. Now, just in case any of you have decided to put any thought into this, we'll have our final statements. Martin?

I don't think there's anything left to say.

Victory party under the slide!

Mr. Bergstrom! Mr. Bergstrom!

Hey, hey, he Moved out this morning. He must have a new job -- he took his Copernicus costume.

Do you know where I could find him?

I think he's taking the next train to Capital City.

The train, how like him... traditional, yet environmentally sound.

Yes, and it's been the backbone of our country since Leland Stanford drove that golden spike at Promontory point.

I see he touched you, too.

Hey, thanks for your vote, man.

I didn't vote. Voting's for geeks.

Well, you got that right. Thanks for your vote, girls.

We forgot.

Well, don't sweat it. Just so long as a couple of people did... right, Milhouse?

Somebody must have voted.

What about you, Bart? Didn't you vote?

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

I demand a recount.

One for Martin, two for Martin. Would you like another recount?

Well, I just want to make sure. One for Martin. Two for Martin.

This way, Mister President!

Now boarding on track 5, The afternoon delight coming to Shelbyville, Parkville, and…..

Mr. Bergstrom! Hey, Mr. Bergstrom!

Hey, Lisa.

Hey, Lisa, indeed.

What? What is it?

Oh, I mean, were you just going to leave, just like that?

Ah, I'm sorry, Lisa. You know, it's the life of the substitute teacher: he's a fraud. Today he might be wearing gym shorts, tomorrow he's speaking French, or, or, or pretending to know how to run a band saw, or God knows what.

You can't go! You're the best teacher I'll ever have.

Ah, that's not true. Other teachers will come along who...

Oh, please.

No, I can't lie to you, I am the best. But, you know, they need me over in the projects of Capital City.

But I need you too.

That's the problem with being middle class. Anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.

I, I understand. Mr. Bergstrom, I'm going to miss you.

I'll tell you what...

Whenever you feel like you're alone and there's nobody you can rely on, this is all you need to know.

Thank you, Mr. Bergstrom.

All aboard!

So, I guess this is it? It you don't mind I'll just run alongside the train as it speeds you from my life?

Goodbye, Lisa honey. It'll be okay. Just read the note.

Never thrown a party? What about that big bash we had with all the champagne and musicians and holy men and everything?

Bart didn't get one vote?! Oh, this is the worst thing that ever happened to us. Alright, allright, spilled milk, spilled milk, spilled milk. What are you so mopey about?

Nothing.

Lisa, tell your father.

Mr. Bergstrom left today.

He's gone. Forever.

I didn't think you'd understand.

Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm glad I'm not crying because I would hate for you to think that what I'm about to say is based on emotion. But you, sir, are a baboon!

Yes, you! Baboon, baboon, baboon, baboon!

I don't think you realize what you're saying.

Baboon!

Whoa, somebody was bound to say it one day. I just can't believe it was her.

Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon! The stupidest, ugliest, smelliest ape of them all!

Homer, you are not allowed to have hurt feelings right now. There's a little girl upstairs who needs you. Her confidence in her father is shaken, and no little girl can be happy unless she has faith in her Daddy.

Go Away.

Lisa, don't hold anything back. You can tell me. Are you crying because you called Daddy a baboon?

This isn't going well at all.

Look, if you just want me to forgive you --

No, no, no. I just wish I knew what to say.

Although, maybe this will help. Now you lost someone special and it hurts. I'm lucky because I never lost anyone special to me. Everyone special to me is under this roof.

That was our wedding.

Children, it's time for you to go to bed.

It's true. Now, you'll have lots of special people in your life, Lisa. There's probably some place where they all get together, and the food is real good, and guys like me are serving drinks. Oh well, maybe I can't explain all this, but I can fix your doll house for you. At least, I'm good at monkey work. You know... monkey. You know what I mean?

I can hold these nails in place with my tail.

You're so silly.

Gimme a banana.

I don't have any banana.

Come on, you're holding out on me.

I'm sorry I called you a baboon, Dad.

Think nothing of it.

Hey, what's the matter, son?

Ah, Dad, if just me, Milhouse and Lewis had voted...

Hey son, would you have gotten any money for being class president?

Would you have to do extra work?

And is this Martin guy going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the world series, huh?

Well, no.

So, let the baby have his bottle, huh? That's my motto.

Hey! Thanks, monkey-man.

Holy-moly... talk about parenting!

Sleep well, Maggie. Ah, three for three.

Homie, did you straighten everything out...?

Up... up... up... up... up... up. Don't say anything, Marge. Let's just go to bed. I'm on the biggest roll of my life.