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Morty: What, Rick? What’s going on? Rick: I got a surprise for you, Morty. Morty: It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about? Rick: Come on, I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up. Morty: Ow! Ow! You're tugging me too hard! Rick: We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty. Rick:

Morty: What, Rick? What’s going on? Rick: I got a surprise for you, Morty. Morty: It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about? Rick: Come on, I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up. Morty: Ow! Ow! You're tugging me too hard! Rick: We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty. Rick: What do you think of this... flying vehicle, Morty? I built it outta stuff I found in the garage.

What do you think of this... flying vehicle, Morty? I built it outta stuff I found in the garage.

Rick: No idea what you're talking about. Jerry: Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you. Beth: You know what? Okay. Morty: Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter. Rick: Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. Morty: Aw, man. Rick:

Rick: No idea what you're talking about. Jerry: Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you. Beth: You know what? Okay. Morty: Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter. Rick: Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. Morty: Aw, man. Rick: Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.

Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.

Beth: Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry. Rick: For everybody. Beth: For everybody. Beth: I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you two to your adventures. Summer: Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism. Morty: Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my -- Rick:

Beth: Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry. Rick: For everybody. Beth: For everybody. Beth: I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you two to your adventures. Summer: Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism. Morty: Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my -- Rick: Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty -- just you and me -- and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me.

Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty -- just you and me -- and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me.

Pickle Rick: I, um I'm sorry I lied to get out of the thing. I, I shouldn't lie to you. Beth: Oh, it's fine. I mean, thank you, and, yeah, you shouldn't. But I hope you know that's not what that session was supposed to be. Pickle Rick: Oh, no, I mean, I know it was Morty peeing his pants and Summer snorting glue or whatever... Beth: She huffed enamel, and we never even talked about it. Pickle Rick: Well, there was so much more at stake. I mean, that shrink, what a monologuist. Summer: Are we gonna go back? Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: I, um I'm sorry I lied to get out of the thing. I, I shouldn't lie to you. Beth: Oh, it's fine. I mean, thank you, and, yeah, you shouldn't. But I hope you know that's not what that session was supposed to be. Pickle Rick: Oh, no, I mean, I know it was Morty peeing his pants and Summer snorting glue or whatever... Beth: She huffed enamel, and we never even talked about it. Pickle Rick: Well, there was so much more at stake. I mean, that shrink, what a monologuist. Summer: Are we gonna go back? Pickle Rick: Sweetie, could I get Get that syringe now?

Sweetie, could I get Get that syringe now?

Cop Morty: Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22: A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. Rick J-22: A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! Rick J-22: Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! Rick J-22: Rick. And I'm-- Rick J-22:

Cop Morty: Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22: A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. Rick J-22: A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! Rick J-22: Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! Rick J-22: Rick. And I'm-- Rick J-22: Fifteen years.

Fifteen years.

Jerry: My marriage is fine, thank you. Rick: Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that. Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. Morty: Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. Jerry: Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom. Rick:

Jerry: My marriage is fine, thank you. Rick: Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that. Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. Morty: Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. Jerry: Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom. Rick: Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. It's gonna be great.

Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. It's gonna be great.

Rick: I want that McNugget sauce, Morty! Birdperson: I am Phoenixperson. Pickle Rick: Morty. Morty: Rick? Pickle Rick: Morty! Morty: Rick? Pickle Rick:

Rick: I want that McNugget sauce, Morty! Birdperson: I am Phoenixperson. Pickle Rick: Morty. Morty: Rick? Pickle Rick: Morty! Morty: Rick? Pickle Rick: Hey, Mooorty!

Hey, Mooorty!

Candidate Morty: Hey there. How you doing? Great to meet you. Candidate Morty: That doesn't sound like Rick work. You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? Candidate Morty: This is just like a Morty baby! Candidate Morty: Hey! Did you end up getting a new job? Campaign Manager Morty: Yeah, I did. Assassinating you! Candidate Morty: I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm... Ohh... Cop Rick:

Candidate Morty: Hey there. How you doing? Great to meet you. Candidate Morty: That doesn't sound like Rick work. You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? Candidate Morty: This is just like a Morty baby! Candidate Morty: Hey! Did you end up getting a new job? Campaign Manager Morty: Yeah, I did. Assassinating you! Candidate Morty: I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm... Ohh... Cop Rick: No thank you, and bad math.

No thank you, and bad math.

Jerry: This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won't save you. I'll get my jacket. Beth: Sweety, is your shirt on backwards? Morty: Oh! Rick: Uh oh. Jerry: Yeah, I like it this way. I'm not stupid. Morty: Phew... Rick:

Jerry: This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won't save you. I'll get my jacket. Beth: Sweety, is your shirt on backwards? Morty: Oh! Rick: Uh oh. Jerry: Yeah, I like it this way. I'm not stupid. Morty: Phew... Rick: Man that guy is the Red Grin Grumble to pretending he knows what's going on. Oh you agree, huh? You like that Red Grin Grumble reference? Well guess what? I made him up. You really are your father's children. Think for yourselves, don't be sheep.

Man that guy is the Red Grin Grumble to pretending he knows what's going on. Oh you agree, huh? You like that Red Grin Grumble reference? Well guess what? I made him up. You really are your father's children. Think for yourselves, don't be sheep.

Jerry: Hey. Oh, wow. Okay, is is is everything okay in here? Snuffles: Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again? Summer: Yeah. Totally. Let's go. Snuffles: You will walk when it is time to walk. Rick: What are we here for again? Incepting? We're trying to incept- Morty: We're trying to incept me to get an "A" in math? Rick:

Jerry: Hey. Oh, wow. Okay, is is is everything okay in here? Snuffles: Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again? Summer: Yeah. Totally. Let's go. Snuffles: You will walk when it is time to walk. Rick: What are we here for again? Incepting? We're trying to incept- Morty: We're trying to incept me to get an "A" in math? Rick: Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Jerry: My goodness. Jerry: I see-WAIT! What? Alien Doctor: It's perfect! The configuration of veins, the ratio of thickness to elasticity, the delicate asymmetry of what you call "your balls". With relatively few adjustments, your genitals can be molded into a working heart for the most important man in the universe! Jerry: Yeah, but, I mean- Jerry: Alright! That's enough. You're talking about my species! We understand genocide, we do it sometimes! Jerry: Yes I will! That's right, assholes, take my penis, TAKE IT ALL! And tell Shrimply Pimples that when the galaxy came calling Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch! Rick:

Jerry: My goodness. Jerry: I see-WAIT! What? Alien Doctor: It's perfect! The configuration of veins, the ratio of thickness to elasticity, the delicate asymmetry of what you call "your balls". With relatively few adjustments, your genitals can be molded into a working heart for the most important man in the universe! Jerry: Yeah, but, I mean- Jerry: Alright! That's enough. You're talking about my species! We understand genocide, we do it sometimes! Jerry: Yes I will! That's right, assholes, take my penis, TAKE IT ALL! And tell Shrimply Pimples that when the galaxy came calling Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch! Rick: Hey, what's wrong Morty? Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh?

Hey, what's wrong Morty? Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh?

Morty: Rick? Are you far away, or are you inside something? Pickle Rick: Morty, the garage, Morty. Come to the garage! Pickle Rick: Morty? Morty: Rick? W-where are you? Pickle Rick: On my work bench, Morty. Morty: Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me? Pickle Rick:

Morty: Rick? Are you far away, or are you inside something? Pickle Rick: Morty, the garage, Morty. Come to the garage! Pickle Rick: Morty? Morty: Rick? W-where are you? Pickle Rick: On my work bench, Morty. Morty: Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me? Pickle Rick: Flip the pickle over.

Flip the pickle over.

Cromulon: Welcome back to Planet Music! First up, let’s hear the latest song from planet Parblesnops. The Greebybobes! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. Cromulon: DISQUALIFIED! Cromulon: There’s one every season. Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT. Morty: Like we’re not already under enough pressure! Rick: Geez, Morty. The guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy. Morty: Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! We’ve got six hours to come up with a song! Rick:

Cromulon: Welcome back to Planet Music! First up, let’s hear the latest song from planet Parblesnops. The Greebybobes! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. Cromulon: DISQUALIFIED! Cromulon: There’s one every season. Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT. Morty: Like we’re not already under enough pressure! Rick: Geez, Morty. The guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy. Morty: Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! We’ve got six hours to come up with a song! Rick: Genius happens in the moment, Morty.

Genius happens in the moment, Morty.

Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick: Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit. Pickle Rick:

Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick: Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit. Pickle Rick: That will be your downfall, Jaguar, not being open to new experiences.

That will be your downfall, Jaguar, not being open to new experiences.

Rick: Don't worry about Jerry. He's gonna be fine.You hear me Jerry? You're gonna be fine! Morty: Woahh! Rick: ooo... Watch out for that stuff. It'll stain if it gets on your clothes, and it'll send into a murderous rage if it gets in your eyes or mouth. Beth: Why would you keep mutant bacteria in a pint of Cherry Garcia? Rick: I know this isn't the time, but, you know, technically the second freezer drawer is mine. Beth: Not anymore. Rick:

Rick: Don't worry about Jerry. He's gonna be fine.You hear me Jerry? You're gonna be fine! Morty: Woahh! Rick: ooo... Watch out for that stuff. It'll stain if it gets on your clothes, and it'll send into a murderous rage if it gets in your eyes or mouth. Beth: Why would you keep mutant bacteria in a pint of Cherry Garcia? Rick: I know this isn't the time, but, you know, technically the second freezer drawer is mine. Beth: Not anymore. Rick: You're overreacting!

You're overreacting!

Riq IV: I totally did, by the way. You're a fucking moron, Morty. Summer: Morty, you fucking idiot! Rick: You're a serious fuckin' idiot, Morty! You basically killed us all! You're the worst! You're as dumb as a bag of sand. Morty: Who's stupid now, bitch?! Summer: Morty, we just got him back! Riq IV: That was amazing, Morty. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay, let's wrap this- Rick:

Riq IV: I totally did, by the way. You're a fucking moron, Morty. Summer: Morty, you fucking idiot! Rick: You're a serious fuckin' idiot, Morty! You basically killed us all! You're the worst! You're as dumb as a bag of sand. Morty: Who's stupid now, bitch?! Summer: Morty, we just got him back! Riq IV: That was amazing, Morty. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay, let's wrap this- Rick: Good job, Morty. Let's go, kids.

Good job, Morty. Let's go, kids.

Beth: He won't have to ask for it, okay? He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone. Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick:

Beth: He won't have to ask for it, okay? He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone. Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick: Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit.

Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit.

Scary Terry: Yeah, I know, I know. I shouldn't take my anger out on you or Scary Brandon. I love you, Melissa. Rick: Morty, this is perfect. After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep and then we'll incept him. Rick: Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare. Morty: Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry. Scary Terry: Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants! Scary Terry: Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch." Rick:

Scary Terry: Yeah, I know, I know. I shouldn't take my anger out on you or Scary Brandon. I love you, Melissa. Rick: Morty, this is perfect. After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep and then we'll incept him. Rick: Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare. Morty: Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry. Scary Terry: Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants! Scary Terry: Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch." Rick: Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?

Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?

Rick: I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. These guys are even lamer than last time. Morty: We weren't here "last time", remember? They did a whole Vindicators without us. A bunch of them got killed, too. They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde... Rick: Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. Morty: This article says the reason we weren't involved was... "personality conflicts". Rick: Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. Morty: I... think the personality conflict might have been... you. Rick:

Rick: I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. These guys are even lamer than last time. Morty: We weren't here "last time", remember? They did a whole Vindicators without us. A bunch of them got killed, too. They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde... Rick: Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. Morty: This article says the reason we weren't involved was... "personality conflicts". Rick: Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. Morty: I... think the personality conflict might have been... you. Rick: Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of color, and they still had to bring me back?

Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of color, and they still had to bring me back?

Beth: Great. We'll see you later. Pickle Rick: Hey, hey, be careful with that. It's for something else. It's really important, so don't break it. Okay, I may have fucked up here. Dup, ap, ap, pap, ut, dah, pap, pap, pap, pah. T-t-tah, tah. Oh, great. Stupid cat. Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I know what it looks like to you, Izzy, but I'm not a snake! I've seen the YouTube videos, I know cats are scared of cucumbers and pickles because they think they're snakes. I'm not a snake! I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle! Pickle Rick: Whoa! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pickle Rick: Oh, crap, that sun is bright. Pickle Rick: Okay, come on. This can't really be the way I go out. This is the mega-genius equivalent of dying on the toilet. Pickle Rick:

Beth: Great. We'll see you later. Pickle Rick: Hey, hey, be careful with that. It's for something else. It's really important, so don't break it. Okay, I may have fucked up here. Dup, ap, ap, pap, ut, dah, pap, pap, pap, pah. T-t-tah, tah. Oh, great. Stupid cat. Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I know what it looks like to you, Izzy, but I'm not a snake! I've seen the YouTube videos, I know cats are scared of cucumbers and pickles because they think they're snakes. I'm not a snake! I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle! Pickle Rick: Whoa! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pickle Rick: Oh, crap, that sun is bright. Pickle Rick: Okay, come on. This can't really be the way I go out. This is the mega-genius equivalent of dying on the toilet. Pickle Rick: So... hot. This is how I'm gonna die.

So... hot. This is how I'm gonna die.

Rick: Oh, come on. Who wants to watch a mad scientist use handmade sci-fi tools to take out highly trained alien guards when we can sit here and be a family at Shoney's? Beth: Dad, it's great to have you back, no matter where we are, but wouldn't you like to go home? Rick: Emotionally speaking, honey, Shoney's is my home. Jerry: Yeah, but you just got out of prison. I mean, how much of a step up from that is -- Rick: Jerry, get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself 12 times. Jerry: You got it. Rick:

Rick: Oh, come on. Who wants to watch a mad scientist use handmade sci-fi tools to take out highly trained alien guards when we can sit here and be a family at Shoney's? Beth: Dad, it's great to have you back, no matter where we are, but wouldn't you like to go home? Rick: Emotionally speaking, honey, Shoney's is my home. Jerry: Yeah, but you just got out of prison. I mean, how much of a step up from that is -- Rick: Jerry, get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself 12 times. Jerry: You got it. Rick: Six folds, huh? W-W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000? You cheap insect fucks didn't think I was worth your best equipment?

Six folds, huh? W-W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000? You cheap insect fucks didn't think I was worth your best equipment?

Jerry: Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or Morty's grounded! Summer: Ha-ha! Morty: Aw, man! Rick: Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry. Rick: All right, Ruffles What's his name? Morty: Snuffles. Rick:

Jerry: Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or Morty's grounded! Summer: Ha-ha! Morty: Aw, man! Rick: Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry. Rick: All right, Ruffles What's his name? Morty: Snuffles. Rick: Snuffles, shake.

Snuffles, shake.

Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick: Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit. Pickle Rick: That will be your downfall, Jaguar, not being open to new experiences. Pickle Rick:

Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again. Pickle Rick: Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter, but killing you gets me to her quicker than your derivative bullshit. Pickle Rick: That will be your downfall, Jaguar, not being open to new experiences. Pickle Rick: Jaguar couldn't make it.

Jaguar couldn't make it.

Rick: - and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll -- I'll go out and I'll find some more of that "Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. - Morty: What are you talking about? Rick: - Because that's -- that's what this is all about, Morty. Morty: Szechuan? Rick: That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce. Morty: McNuggets? Rick:

Rick: - and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll -- I'll go out and I'll find some more of that "Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. - Morty: What are you talking about? Rick: - Because that's -- that's what this is all about, Morty. Morty: Szechuan? Rick: That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce. Morty: McNuggets? Rick: I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty.

I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty.

Rick: Oof! Didn't see that comin'. Supernova: Is that sarcasm?! I don't want you slipping away then this is over! All of these deaths are on your hands! Rick: Oh, come on, maybe a couple of them, but definitely not the train guy. Supernova: All of them. Rick: O-kayyy... Drunk Rick: Congrats, you did it! Drunk Rick:

Rick: Oof! Didn't see that comin'. Supernova: Is that sarcasm?! I don't want you slipping away then this is over! All of these deaths are on your hands! Rick: Oh, come on, maybe a couple of them, but definitely not the train guy. Supernova: All of them. Rick: O-kayyy... Drunk Rick: Congrats, you did it! Drunk Rick: All right, buy now, I've been pretty clear that I thunk the Vindicators are full of shit. But... you do have one thing I'll never have. And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators with any value to me. if you know what it is, place it on the platform.Guess wrong and the pla... planet will explode. And probably the solar system, 'cause I kind of fucking eyeballed the neutrino bombs on this one.

All right, buy now, I've been pretty clear that I thunk the Vindicators are full of shit. But... you do have one thing I'll never have. And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators with any value to me. if you know what it is, place it on the platform.Guess wrong and the pla... planet will explode. And probably the solar system, 'cause I kind of fucking eyeballed the neutrino bombs on this one.

Rick: Hey, take your pants off It’s schwifty time today Principal Vagina: Please be kind to us for we are but tiny things with entire bodies stuck to your ground. Beth: Now hold on a second, let’s be rational about this. Beth: No, I’m… I’m just saying, we don’t know if there’s a cause-effect relationship -- Beth: Oh, God, what’s going on now? President: What the hell happened? Rick:

Rick: Hey, take your pants off It’s schwifty time today Principal Vagina: Please be kind to us for we are but tiny things with entire bodies stuck to your ground. Beth: Now hold on a second, let’s be rational about this. Beth: No, I’m… I’m just saying, we don’t know if there’s a cause-effect relationship -- Beth: Oh, God, what’s going on now? President: What the hell happened? Rick: I think planet Earth has just been transported.

I think planet Earth has just been transported.

Beth: Stop saying his name! He abandoned us. Jerry: Willem Dafoe! Th-That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning. Beth: Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself? Summer: Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! Jerry: Ooh! Rick: Oh, any particular ones? You want to see my first boner, or should we go straight to the moment I discovered interdimensional travel? Rick:

Beth: Stop saying his name! He abandoned us. Jerry: Willem Dafoe! Th-That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning. Beth: Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself? Summer: Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! Jerry: Ooh! Rick: Oh, any particular ones? You want to see my first boner, or should we go straight to the moment I discovered interdimensional travel? Rick: ' Ooh, your little flappy doodles are twitching. Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape?

' Ooh, your little flappy doodles are twitching. Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape?

Million Ants: Aah! Gun turret. Supernova: Are you all right? Million Ants: Yes. I only lost 400 ants. My queen is laying more. I am back to one million ants. Supernova: Someone wake up Sanchez. Rick: Ugh! Oh, Christ... Supernova: Rick, you're up. Rick:

Million Ants: Aah! Gun turret. Supernova: Are you all right? Million Ants: Yes. I only lost 400 ants. My queen is laying more. I am back to one million ants. Supernova: Someone wake up Sanchez. Rick: Ugh! Oh, Christ... Supernova: Rick, you're up. Rick: Barely.

Barely.

All Ricks: Only in self defense, myself tried to kill me first! Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math. C-could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet. All Summers: Well is there some way you can prove you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore? All Ricks: Ah, for God's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal. All Mortys: W-what're you doing? All Ricks: Calling myself. Here, listen, it'll probably go to voice mail since, you know, I'm calling myself. All Ricks: Don't fall for it, it's a bit. All Ricks:

All Ricks: Only in self defense, myself tried to kill me first! Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math. C-could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet. All Summers: Well is there some way you can prove you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore? All Ricks: Ah, for God's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal. All Mortys: W-what're you doing? All Ricks: Calling myself. Here, listen, it'll probably go to voice mail since, you know, I'm calling myself. All Ricks: Don't fall for it, it's a bit. All Ricks: Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy. Whoa. Damn, look at this, I'm blown up. Three new voicemails. Yeah yeah, I heard this one. You get the idea we're cool now.

Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy. Whoa. Damn, look at this, I'm blown up. Three new voicemails. Yeah yeah, I heard this one. You get the idea we're cool now.

Candidate Morty: I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm... Ohh... Cop Rick: No thank you, and bad math. Cop Rick: What is the place? Cop Morty: "The Creepy Morty". What is it your kind's always saying? "Don't think about it." Come on. There's someone important I want you to meet. Cop Morty: They had a little accident. They won't be causing any trouble anymore. Cop Morty: Big Morty likes to contribute to keeping the peace in Mortytown. Think of him as a drug lord, and us his cops on his payroll. Cop Rick:

Candidate Morty: I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm... Ohh... Cop Rick: No thank you, and bad math. Cop Rick: What is the place? Cop Morty: "The Creepy Morty". What is it your kind's always saying? "Don't think about it." Come on. There's someone important I want you to meet. Cop Morty: They had a little accident. They won't be causing any trouble anymore. Cop Morty: Big Morty likes to contribute to keeping the peace in Mortytown. Think of him as a drug lord, and us his cops on his payroll. Cop Rick: Morty...

Morty...

Morty: Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross! Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you, Morty? Calm down! You're kind of killing the vibe in here. Morty: It's Summer! Aw, geez. Summer: Can you blame him? Come on, old man, little boy. Let's make an inter-generational sandwich. Rick: Time to go another dream deep, Morty! Morty: What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs. Rick:

Morty: Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross! Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you, Morty? Calm down! You're kind of killing the vibe in here. Morty: It's Summer! Aw, geez. Summer: Can you blame him? Come on, old man, little boy. Let's make an inter-generational sandwich. Rick: Time to go another dream deep, Morty! Morty: What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs. Rick: Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?

Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?

Rick: Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. Morty: I... think the personality conflict might have been... you. Rick: Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of color, and they still had to bring me back? Morty: Rick, since it's my adventure and all, could you do me a favor? Rick: Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. I mean, w-w-w-what--what are we vindicating? Comfort? Morty: Rick, this really bums me out. It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. Rick:

Rick: Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. Morty: I... think the personality conflict might have been... you. Rick: Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of color, and they still had to bring me back? Morty: Rick, since it's my adventure and all, could you do me a favor? Rick: Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. I mean, w-w-w-what--what are we vindicating? Comfort? Morty: Rick, this really bums me out. It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. Rick: Why? Morty, I defeat gagoos more powerful than these guys every week.

Why? Morty, I defeat gagoos more powerful than these guys every week.

Jerry: I should call Bob Saget. Is that still a thing? Snuffles: Hmm? Rick: Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk! Rick: Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield. Mr. Goldenfold: Mrs. Pancakes! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Rick: Oh, no, Morty. His subconscious is panicking. Rick:

Jerry: I should call Bob Saget. Is that still a thing? Snuffles: Hmm? Rick: Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk! Rick: Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield. Mr. Goldenfold: Mrs. Pancakes! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Rick: Oh, no, Morty. His subconscious is panicking. Rick: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa!

Morty: Mortys are human! Cop Morty: Get the fuck off the car, you Rickless fuckin’ animal! Morty: WHOA!! Cop Morty: The election’s got these yellow shirts more riled up than a Picture Day Jessica. Cop Rick: That’s pretty harsh, sir. Cop Morty: So report me. Nobody gives a fuck. Cop Rick:

Morty: Mortys are human! Cop Morty: Get the fuck off the car, you Rickless fuckin’ animal! Morty: WHOA!! Cop Morty: The election’s got these yellow shirts more riled up than a Picture Day Jessica. Cop Rick: That’s pretty harsh, sir. Cop Morty: So report me. Nobody gives a fuck. Cop Rick: Look, I’m just saying. Makes me a little sad to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys “animals”.

Look, I’m just saying. Makes me a little sad to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys “animals”.

Cop Morty: Wh-why would you say something like that, Big Morty? You're fucking things up for both of us here! Cop Rick: Big Morty, you're under arrest. Cop Morty: S-smartest man in the universe. Cop Morty: Not so big now, are ya? Cop Rick: That's enough! Cop Morty: If we don't kill him, he'll talk! Cop Rick:

Cop Morty: Wh-why would you say something like that, Big Morty? You're fucking things up for both of us here! Cop Rick: Big Morty, you're under arrest. Cop Morty: S-smartest man in the universe. Cop Morty: Not so big now, are ya? Cop Rick: That's enough! Cop Morty: If we don't kill him, he'll talk! Cop Rick: If you do, I'll talk.

If you do, I'll talk.

Pickle Rick: Flip the pickle over. Morty: What, I'm gonna touch it, and you're gonna tell me it's an alien dick or something. Pickle Rick: Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. Morty: And? Pickle Rick: "And"? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job? Morty: Was it? Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: Flip the pickle over. Morty: What, I'm gonna touch it, and you're gonna tell me it's an alien dick or something. Pickle Rick: Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. Morty: And? Pickle Rick: "And"? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job? Morty: Was it? Pickle Rick: Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day. Uh, here's something that's never happened before

Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day. Uh, here's something that's never happened before

Summer: Fine, stay here. I'll rescue Grandpa myself. Morty: And how are you gonna do that? Summer: I don't know yet. I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grandpa Rick does. That's what heroes do. Morty: Y-You want to see what a hero Rick is? I-I'll bring you somewhere, Summer. Um- Summer: What is this place? And what's with "Hunger Games" Summer? Morty: That's my sister. This used to be my home. Young Rick:

Summer: Fine, stay here. I'll rescue Grandpa myself. Morty: And how are you gonna do that? Summer: I don't know yet. I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grandpa Rick does. That's what heroes do. Morty: Y-You want to see what a hero Rick is? I-I'll bring you somewhere, Summer. Um- Summer: What is this place? And what's with "Hunger Games" Summer? Morty: That's my sister. This used to be my home. Young Rick: Sounds lonely.

Sounds lonely.

Rick: All right, Morty, time to make our move. Mr. Goldenfold: Make it bounce. Mrs. Pancakes: No, you didn't. Mr. Goldenfold: Oh, jiggle it now. Mrs. Pancakes: You better stop with that. Rick: Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math! Rick:

Rick: All right, Morty, time to make our move. Mr. Goldenfold: Make it bounce. Mrs. Pancakes: No, you didn't. Mr. Goldenfold: Oh, jiggle it now. Mrs. Pancakes: You better stop with that. Rick: Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math! Rick: Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!

Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!

Campaign Manager Morty: He gotta be stopped... He-he cou-couldn't be allowed to win. Campaign Manager Morty: He's alive?! No, no, no! You gotta listen to me! I-I worked for him! I was his campaign manager! That Morty is not what he seems. Campaign Manager Morty: He... won? Cop Rick: Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. Cop Rick: But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! Glasses Morty: Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? Teacher Rick:

Campaign Manager Morty: He gotta be stopped... He-he cou-couldn't be allowed to win. Campaign Manager Morty: He's alive?! No, no, no! You gotta listen to me! I-I worked for him! I was his campaign manager! That Morty is not what he seems. Campaign Manager Morty: He... won? Cop Rick: Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. Cop Rick: But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! Glasses Morty: Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? Teacher Rick: No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing.

No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing.

Morty: Ow! Ow! You're tugging me too hard! Rick: We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty. Rick: What do you think of this... flying vehicle, Morty? I built it outta stuff I found in the garage. Morty: Yeah, Rick... I-it's great. Is this the surprise? Rick: Morty. I had to... I had to do it. I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb. Morty: What?! A bomb?! Rick:

Morty: Ow! Ow! You're tugging me too hard! Rick: We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty. Rick: What do you think of this... flying vehicle, Morty? I built it outta stuff I found in the garage. Morty: Yeah, Rick... I-it's great. Is this the surprise? Rick: Morty. I had to... I had to do it. I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb. Morty: What?! A bomb?! Rick: We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start.

We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start.

Jerry: I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller. Beth: Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it. Morty: Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick. Rick: I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven. Morty: You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick. Rick: What do you know, Morty? What do you know? Rick:

Jerry: I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller. Beth: Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it. Morty: Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick. Rick: I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven. Morty: You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick. Rick: What do you know, Morty? What do you know? Rick: Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch.

Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch.

Rick: We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start. Morty: T-t-that's absolutely crazy! Rick: Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica. Morty: Jessica? From my math class? Rick: When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam. Morty: Ohh... Rick:

Rick: We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start. Morty: T-t-that's absolutely crazy! Rick: Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica. Morty: Jessica? From my math class? Rick: When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam. Morty: Ohh... Rick: And Jessica's gonna be Eve.

And Jessica's gonna be Eve.

Campaign Manager Morty: He... won? Cop Rick: Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. Cop Rick: But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! Glasses Morty: Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? Teacher Rick: No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. Glasses Morty: To what? Teacher Rick:

Campaign Manager Morty: He... won? Cop Rick: Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. Cop Rick: But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! Glasses Morty: Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? Teacher Rick: No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. Glasses Morty: To what? Teacher Rick: I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds.

I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds.

Morty: I am sad that I peed. I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet. Dr. Wong: Look at this family go. You guys are pros. What do you guys think about doing this once a week? Pickle Rick: Ugh. Dr. Wong: You must be Rick. Pickle Rick: Mm-hmm. Dr. Wong: I've heard a lot about you today. Your family is crazy about you. Your daughter holds you in very high regard. You're a lucky fella. Pickle Rick:

Morty: I am sad that I peed. I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet. Dr. Wong: Look at this family go. You guys are pros. What do you guys think about doing this once a week? Pickle Rick: Ugh. Dr. Wong: You must be Rick. Pickle Rick: Mm-hmm. Dr. Wong: I've heard a lot about you today. Your family is crazy about you. Your daughter holds you in very high regard. You're a lucky fella. Pickle Rick: Yeah, thank you. Uh, sweetie, you don't still happen to have that syringe in your purse?

Yeah, thank you. Uh, sweetie, you don't still happen to have that syringe in your purse?

Morty: What's yours? Morty: You shut up! Rick: Whoa whoa wh-what the hell hell hell hell hell? All Ricks: Oh God, oh no, what did you guys just do? Summer 1: What do you mean? All Summers: Wait, what am I saying? Rick:

Morty: What's yours? Morty: You shut up! Rick: Whoa whoa wh-what the hell hell hell hell hell? All Ricks: Oh God, oh no, what did you guys just do? Summer 1: What do you mean? All Summers: Wait, what am I saying? Rick: Were either of you guys uncertain about anything just now?

Were either of you guys uncertain about anything just now?

Jerry: Uh, well, Beth, I don't think your decision should be based on politics. Who could argue with a wife's decision to keep her LOVER INTACT. Beth: Well I don't think that's fair at all, Jerry. At all. In fact, I think this whole paradigm has sexist overtones. Jerry: Beth, can we talk about this privately? Beth: You know, I think, the bottom line is, Jerry, if you want to keep your penis, you should say, out loud, "I prefer to keep my penis." Jerry: But, Beth, what kind of man would say something like that if the universe needed his penis!?! Beth: Well, Jerry, what kind of wife would I be if I did anything to stand in your way? Rick:

Jerry: Uh, well, Beth, I don't think your decision should be based on politics. Who could argue with a wife's decision to keep her LOVER INTACT. Beth: Well I don't think that's fair at all, Jerry. At all. In fact, I think this whole paradigm has sexist overtones. Jerry: Beth, can we talk about this privately? Beth: You know, I think, the bottom line is, Jerry, if you want to keep your penis, you should say, out loud, "I prefer to keep my penis." Jerry: But, Beth, what kind of man would say something like that if the universe needed his penis!?! Beth: Well, Jerry, what kind of wife would I be if I did anything to stand in your way? Rick: Anyway, that's how I escaped from space prison! Oh, scary place.

Anyway, that's how I escaped from space prison! Oh, scary place.

Rick: You're overreacting! Rick: Alright fine, but you're not touching my CRISPR. Summer: Is he going to die? Rick: What? Every hospital claims to have the best doctor in the galaxy. It's like those pizza places that claim to have the best pizza in the world. What- Do you think they have pizza contests? Have you ever been to a pizza contest? Beth: Go in the waiting room, Dad. Rick: Fine! Excuse me. Coming through. What are you here for- Just kidding, I don't care. Well this won't do. Rick:

Rick: You're overreacting! Rick: Alright fine, but you're not touching my CRISPR. Summer: Is he going to die? Rick: What? Every hospital claims to have the best doctor in the galaxy. It's like those pizza places that claim to have the best pizza in the world. What- Do you think they have pizza contests? Have you ever been to a pizza contest? Beth: Go in the waiting room, Dad. Rick: Fine! Excuse me. Coming through. What are you here for- Just kidding, I don't care. Well this won't do. Rick: A sequel.

A sequel.

Mrs. Pancakes: Oh, I think you've had enough, sir. Rick: All right, Morty, time to make our move. Mr. Goldenfold: Make it bounce. Mrs. Pancakes: No, you didn't. Mr. Goldenfold: Oh, jiggle it now. Mrs. Pancakes: You better stop with that. Rick:

Mrs. Pancakes: Oh, I think you've had enough, sir. Rick: All right, Morty, time to make our move. Mr. Goldenfold: Make it bounce. Mrs. Pancakes: No, you didn't. Mr. Goldenfold: Oh, jiggle it now. Mrs. Pancakes: You better stop with that. Rick: Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!

Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!

Cop Rick: That's enough! Cop Morty: If we don't kill him, he'll talk! Cop Rick: If you do, I'll talk. Cop Rick: You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. I got faith in you, partner. Do the right thing. Cop Morty: Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22:

Cop Rick: That's enough! Cop Morty: If we don't kill him, he'll talk! Cop Rick: If you do, I'll talk. Cop Rick: You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. I got faith in you, partner. Do the right thing. Cop Morty: Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22: A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon.

A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon.

Rick: The little girl! Morty: Huh? Rick: Are you kidding me? This again? Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good. Scary Terry: Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch! Morty: Ohhhh! Rick:

Rick: The little girl! Morty: Huh? Rick: Are you kidding me? This again? Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good. Scary Terry: Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch! Morty: Ohhhh! Rick: Holy crap, Morty. He can travel through dreams. He can travel through dreams! We're so screwed!

Holy crap, Morty. He can travel through dreams. He can travel through dreams! We're so screwed!

Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out. Pickle Rick: Whoa! Who in the fuck's toilet is this? Agency Director: What is it? Agency Director: Where is it? Agency Director: We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle? Agency Director: Put him on, and locate the phone he's using. Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out. Pickle Rick: Whoa! Who in the fuck's toilet is this? Agency Director: What is it? Agency Director: Where is it? Agency Director: We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle? Agency Director: Put him on, and locate the phone he's using. Pickle Rick: Hi, um, can you, uh please let me out.

Hi, um, can you, uh please let me out.

Rick: It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home? Rick: There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid. Morty: Uh-oh. Rick: When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty. Morty: In my butt? Rick:

Rick: It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home? Rick: There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid. Morty: Uh-oh. Rick: When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty. Morty: In my butt? Rick: Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.

Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.

Beth: Fuck you. Beth: Fuck both of you, too. Pickle Rick: By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. Pickle Rick: God damn it, I love myself. Pickle Rick: Pickle Riiick! Pickle Rick: Get that parkour. Get that parkour! Pickle Rick:

Beth: Fuck you. Beth: Fuck both of you, too. Pickle Rick: By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. Pickle Rick: God damn it, I love myself. Pickle Rick: Pickle Riiick! Pickle Rick: Get that parkour. Get that parkour! Pickle Rick: Hey, it's cool. Just need to find the nearest exit.

Hey, it's cool. Just need to find the nearest exit.

Rick: I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me. Jerry: I beg your pardon, Rick, INAPPROPRIATE. Rick: Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread. Jerry: My marriage is fine, thank you. Rick: Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that. Rick:

Rick: I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me. Jerry: I beg your pardon, Rick, INAPPROPRIATE. Rick: Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread. Jerry: My marriage is fine, thank you. Rick: Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that. Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

Jerry: Yes I will! That's right, assholes, take my penis, TAKE IT ALL! And tell Shrimply Pimples that when the galaxy came calling Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch! Rick: Hey, what's wrong Morty? Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh? Morty: Huh? Uh, no no no, I'm-I'm just looking at that lady getting coffee. What's up with her face? Is she a human or is she like Worf. You know Worf, from Star Trek, where he has the shit all over his face but he's just a human in a costume, you know? Rick: Morty let's-let's see what else is on. Morty: Okay. Morty: Whoa! Look! It's that lady with all that shit on her face like Worf from Star Trek! That was getting coffee! How did she get there! Rick:

Jerry: Yes I will! That's right, assholes, take my penis, TAKE IT ALL! And tell Shrimply Pimples that when the galaxy came calling Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch! Rick: Hey, what's wrong Morty? Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh? Morty: Huh? Uh, no no no, I'm-I'm just looking at that lady getting coffee. What's up with her face? Is she a human or is she like Worf. You know Worf, from Star Trek, where he has the shit all over his face but he's just a human in a costume, you know? Rick: Morty let's-let's see what else is on. Morty: Okay. Morty: Whoa! Look! It's that lady with all that shit on her face like Worf from Star Trek! That was getting coffee! How did she get there! Rick: Oh, man Morty. How DID she get there?

Oh, man Morty. How DID she get there?

Vance: Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, not this psycho trailer-park shit! Morty: Vance, stay calm... Vance: Oh, so you're the leader now because we gave you a jacket?! You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo-ops with! Morty: Okay, ouch, but... Vance: Okay, this... this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS! Alan: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe! Rick:

Vance: Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, not this psycho trailer-park shit! Morty: Vance, stay calm... Vance: Oh, so you're the leader now because we gave you a jacket?! You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo-ops with! Morty: Okay, ouch, but... Vance: Okay, this... this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS! Alan: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe! Rick: Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh.

Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh.

Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22: A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. Rick J-22: A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! Rick J-22: Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! Rick J-22: Rick. And I'm-- Rick J-22: Fifteen years. Rick J-22:

Cop Rick: Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. Rick J-22: A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. Rick J-22: A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! Rick J-22: Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! Rick J-22: Rick. And I'm-- Rick J-22: Fifteen years. Rick J-22: Where are we going?

Where are we going?

Rick: I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me. Morty: Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody. Rick: They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots! Morty: They're not robots, Rick! Rick: It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here! Morty: Holy crap! This is insane! Rick:

Rick: I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me. Morty: Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody. Rick: They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots! Morty: They're not robots, Rick! Rick: It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here! Morty: Holy crap! This is insane! Rick: Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here!

Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here!

Rick: Alright, listen, you two, we froze time for a pretty long time, so when I unfreeze it, the world's time is gonna be fine, but our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize. Morty: Our time is gonna be unstable? What does that even mean? Rick: It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty. I thought you learned that by now. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. Morty: Wait a minute, what? Rick: And away we go! Morty: Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? Rick:

Rick: Alright, listen, you two, we froze time for a pretty long time, so when I unfreeze it, the world's time is gonna be fine, but our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize. Morty: Our time is gonna be unstable? What does that even mean? Rick: It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty. I thought you learned that by now. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. Morty: Wait a minute, what? Rick: And away we go! Morty: Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? Rick: Shhh, Morty!

Shhh, Morty!

Rick: Morty. I had to... I had to do it. I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb. Morty: What?! A bomb?! Rick: We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start. Morty: T-t-that's absolutely crazy! Rick: Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica. Morty: Jessica? From my math class? Rick:

Rick: Morty. I had to... I had to do it. I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb. Morty: What?! A bomb?! Rick: We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start. Morty: T-t-that's absolutely crazy! Rick: Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica. Morty: Jessica? From my math class? Rick: When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam.

When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam.

Summer: Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up with this! Beth: Stop saying his name! He abandoned us. Jerry: Willem Dafoe! Th-That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning. Beth: Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself? Summer: Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! Jerry: Ooh! Rick:

Summer: Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up with this! Beth: Stop saying his name! He abandoned us. Jerry: Willem Dafoe! Th-That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning. Beth: Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself? Summer: Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! Jerry: Ooh! Rick: Oh, any particular ones? You want to see my first boner, or should we go straight to the moment I discovered interdimensional travel?

Oh, any particular ones? You want to see my first boner, or should we go straight to the moment I discovered interdimensional travel?

Jerry: Holy crap! Summer: No way. Rick: Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty. Morty: That was fantastic, Rick! Rick: Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one. Morty: W-w-w-what is it? Rick:

Jerry: Holy crap! Summer: No way. Rick: Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty. Morty: That was fantastic, Rick! Rick: Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one. Morty: W-w-w-what is it? Rick: It's a device, Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about.

It's a device, Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about.

Morty: Me! Rick: Yeah, not with that attitude. Morty: B-b-but we don’t have a song! Principal Vagina: Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we’ve done. We’re sorry for increased levels of emissions and our racism. And of course, the amber alerts I keep ignoring on my phone. Rick: All right, Morty, let’s get ready to do it! Why don’t you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards and lay down some kind of beat? Morty: Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. We get our family and portal out of here! Rick:

Morty: Me! Rick: Yeah, not with that attitude. Morty: B-b-but we don’t have a song! Principal Vagina: Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we’ve done. We’re sorry for increased levels of emissions and our racism. And of course, the amber alerts I keep ignoring on my phone. Rick: All right, Morty, let’s get ready to do it! Why don’t you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards and lay down some kind of beat? Morty: Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. We get our family and portal out of here! Rick: Morty! Good music comes from people who are relaxed. Just hit a button, Morty! Gimme a beat!

Morty! Good music comes from people who are relaxed. Just hit a button, Morty! Gimme a beat!

Rick: Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. Um, this guy. The, uh... The, uh... Rick: Right, Crocubot. So, you're half-cold, unfeeling reptile, half-also cold, equally-unfeeling machine. Rick: So, you're origin is what? Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? Supernova: Noob-Noob, we're having a briefing! If I can continue, Rick. I anticipate sophisticated security measures. I trust you can be of service there. Rick: Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. Alan: I wish he had the ability to check is attitude. Rick:

Rick: Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. Um, this guy. The, uh... The, uh... Rick: Right, Crocubot. So, you're half-cold, unfeeling reptile, half-also cold, equally-unfeeling machine. Rick: So, you're origin is what? Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? Supernova: Noob-Noob, we're having a briefing! If I can continue, Rick. I anticipate sophisticated security measures. I trust you can be of service there. Rick: Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. Alan: I wish he had the ability to check is attitude. Rick: Alan Rails, ladies and gentleman. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghiost trains. It's not all bad, though. They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle!

Alan Rails, ladies and gentleman. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghiost trains. It's not all bad, though. They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle!

Pickle Rick: I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner. Morty: Well, can you move? Can you fly? Pickle Rick: I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could. Morty: All right, well, do pickles live forever or -- Pickle Rick: Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed. I'm a pickle. Morty: I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this. Why anyone would do this. Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner. Morty: Well, can you move? Can you fly? Pickle Rick: I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could. Morty: All right, well, do pickles live forever or -- Pickle Rick: Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed. I'm a pickle. Morty: I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this. Why anyone would do this. Pickle Rick: The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't.

The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't.

Morty: Holy crap! This is insane! Rick: Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here! Jessica: Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal? Morty: Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop. Just kidding. Jessica: You're Morty, right? Morty: Yeah. Rick:

Morty: Holy crap! This is insane! Rick: Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here! Jessica: Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal? Morty: Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop. Just kidding. Jessica: You're Morty, right? Morty: Yeah. Rick: You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass.

You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass.

Morty: Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose? Rick: That’s planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning. Balls. Rick: Morty, Morty, stop! Listen! There’s only so much charge left in this thing. If we portal home from here and back, we’re not gonna have enough charge left to get off-world. Get it? Morty: What?! Rick: Yeah, you see, I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty. Cause if I let you make me nervous, then we can’t get schwifty. Morty: Stop saying it like it’s a thing! You made it up! Rick:

Morty: Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose? Rick: That’s planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning. Balls. Rick: Morty, Morty, stop! Listen! There’s only so much charge left in this thing. If we portal home from here and back, we’re not gonna have enough charge left to get off-world. Get it? Morty: What?! Rick: Yeah, you see, I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty. Cause if I let you make me nervous, then we can’t get schwifty. Morty: Stop saying it like it’s a thing! You made it up! Rick: Hey, Morty! Could you lick my…

Hey, Morty! Could you lick my…

Rick: Guess who dismantled the government? Beth: Please don't leave me again. Rick: I never will, baby. Summer: I was right. He turned himself in on purpose. It was all part of his plan! Rick: Jerry, is there any light beer left? It's insane what you miss in prison. Jerry: Um..okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time. Rick:

Rick: Guess who dismantled the government? Beth: Please don't leave me again. Rick: I never will, baby. Summer: I was right. He turned himself in on purpose. It was all part of his plan! Rick: Jerry, is there any light beer left? It's insane what you miss in prison. Jerry: Um..okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time. Rick: No, you're right. Where's the vodka?

No, you're right. Where's the vodka?

Teacher Rick: No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. Glasses Morty: To what? Teacher Rick: I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds. Lizard Morty: Holy crap... Slick's wish came true. Rick: Whoa!! Hahaha, yeah! Atlantis, baby! Morty: That was amazing! Rick:

Teacher Rick: No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. Glasses Morty: To what? Teacher Rick: I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds. Lizard Morty: Holy crap... Slick's wish came true. Rick: Whoa!! Hahaha, yeah! Atlantis, baby! Morty: That was amazing! Rick: Got some of that mermaid puss!

Got some of that mermaid puss!

Morty: Oh, geez, Rick, I-I-I don't want to die! Rick: Jaguar! Morty: Who? Who was that, Rick? Rick: That, Morty, is why you don't go to therapy. Rick: Don't let any of those things get away, Morty. If their DNA gets into Earth's food chain, our entire species could be sterilized. Morty: Then why aren't we killing them?! Rick:

Morty: Oh, geez, Rick, I-I-I don't want to die! Rick: Jaguar! Morty: Who? Who was that, Rick? Rick: That, Morty, is why you don't go to therapy. Rick: Don't let any of those things get away, Morty. If their DNA gets into Earth's food chain, our entire species could be sterilized. Morty: Then why aren't we killing them?! Rick: Great. Next time I need a species sterilized, who's gonna do it for me? You?

Great. Next time I need a species sterilized, who's gonna do it for me? You?

Rick: It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty. I thought you learned that by now. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. Morty: Wait a minute, what? Rick: And away we go! Morty: Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? Rick: Shhh, Morty! Jerry: ...A THING OR TWO ABOUT... wait, what? Was the house...? When we pulled up I could have sworn the house was completely trashed. Rick:

Rick: It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty. I thought you learned that by now. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. Morty: Wait a minute, what? Rick: And away we go! Morty: Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? Rick: Shhh, Morty! Jerry: ...A THING OR TWO ABOUT... wait, what? Was the house...? When we pulled up I could have sworn the house was completely trashed. Rick: Negative visualization, Jerry. It explains a lot about where you're at. Hi, sweety.

Negative visualization, Jerry. It explains a lot about where you're at. Hi, sweety.

Morty: Ready as I’ll ever be, Rick! Rick: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Rick: What are you, stupid? We’re done with the Citadel of Ricks. I was never on board with it in the first place, that’s why I murdered everyone in charge and left it to rot. Morty: They tried to murder him first. Morty: Yeah, he knows. He murdered them. Rick: Every day. Rick:

Morty: Ready as I’ll ever be, Rick! Rick: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Rick: What are you, stupid? We’re done with the Citadel of Ricks. I was never on board with it in the first place, that’s why I murdered everyone in charge and left it to rot. Morty: They tried to murder him first. Morty: Yeah, he knows. He murdered them. Rick: Every day. Rick: You don’t have to be a dick.

You don’t have to be a dick.

Cromulon: There’s one every season. Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT. Morty: Like we’re not already under enough pressure! Rick: Geez, Morty. The guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy. Morty: Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! We’ve got six hours to come up with a song! Rick: Genius happens in the moment, Morty. Morty: Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose? Rick:

Cromulon: There’s one every season. Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT. Morty: Like we’re not already under enough pressure! Rick: Geez, Morty. The guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy. Morty: Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! We’ve got six hours to come up with a song! Rick: Genius happens in the moment, Morty. Morty: Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose? Rick: That’s planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning. Balls.

That’s planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning. Balls.

Rick: HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!!! Rick: I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty! Rick: Oh, Morty, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in, Morty. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, Morty. That's that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline. Morty: All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now? Rick: Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing. Morty: Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave. Rick:

Rick: HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!!! Rick: I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty! Rick: Oh, Morty, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in, Morty. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, Morty. That's that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline. Morty: All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now? Rick: Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing. Morty: Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave. Rick: Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?

Jerry: Well, maybe you're right. Beth: Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon? Jerry: Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. Principal Vagina: Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon? Rick: Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze. Morty: I'm in a lot of pain, Rick! Rick:

Jerry: Well, maybe you're right. Beth: Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon? Jerry: Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. Principal Vagina: Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon? Rick: Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze. Morty: I'm in a lot of pain, Rick! Rick: Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?

Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?

Supernova: What the hell is Is-ra-el? Morty: I-It's just something Rick starts talking about whenever he's blackout drunk. Rick: W-What? In w--In w-w-what--In what way? Like, w-w-what's my point? Morty: In a way that has no point! You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations, and then you pass out! Rick: So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic, which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place. Million Ants: I have no stake in this. Rick:

Supernova: What the hell is Is-ra-el? Morty: I-It's just something Rick starts talking about whenever he's blackout drunk. Rick: W-What? In w--In w-w-what--In what way? Like, w-w-what's my point? Morty: In a way that has no point! You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations, and then you pass out! Rick: So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic, which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place. Million Ants: I have no stake in this. Rick: I don't either. I-I'm just saying, if anything, the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel, he wants what's best for it and...

I don't either. I-I'm just saying, if anything, the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel, he wants what's best for it and...

Million Ants: Do not threaten her! Drunk Rick: Congrats, you did it! Supernova: What the hell is Is-ra-el? Morty: I-It's just something Rick starts talking about whenever he's blackout drunk. Rick: W-What? In w--In w-w-what--In what way? Like, w-w-what's my point? Morty: In a way that has no point! You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations, and then you pass out! Rick:

Million Ants: Do not threaten her! Drunk Rick: Congrats, you did it! Supernova: What the hell is Is-ra-el? Morty: I-It's just something Rick starts talking about whenever he's blackout drunk. Rick: W-What? In w--In w-w-what--In what way? Like, w-w-what's my point? Morty: In a way that has no point! You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations, and then you pass out! Rick: So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic, which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place.

So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic, which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place.

Beth: For everybody. Beth: I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you two to your adventures. Summer: Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism. Morty: Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my -- Rick: Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty -- just you and me -- and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. Morty: Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark. Rick:

Beth: For everybody. Beth: I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you two to your adventures. Summer: Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism. Morty: Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my -- Rick: Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty -- just you and me -- and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. Morty: Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark. Rick: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different -- no more Dad, Morty.

Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different -- no more Dad, Morty.

Morty: Okay, ouch, but... Vance: Okay, this... this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS! Alan: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe! Rick: Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh. Rick: And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. Alan: I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back! Rick:

Morty: Okay, ouch, but... Vance: Okay, this... this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS! Alan: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe! Rick: Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh. Rick: And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. Alan: I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back! Rick: Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, but if you keep coming at me, there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train.

Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, but if you keep coming at me, there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train.

Beth: I am afraid that my kids will get expelled. Dr. Wong: Good. Summer, you go. Summer: I am mad that I can't huff enamel without people assuming it's because my family sucks. I hope to be seen one day as someone that just likes getting high. Dr. Wong: Good job. Morty, do you have an "I" statement? Morty: I am sad that I peed. I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet. Dr. Wong: Look at this family go. You guys are pros. What do you guys think about doing this once a week? Pickle Rick:

Beth: I am afraid that my kids will get expelled. Dr. Wong: Good. Summer, you go. Summer: I am mad that I can't huff enamel without people assuming it's because my family sucks. I hope to be seen one day as someone that just likes getting high. Dr. Wong: Good job. Morty, do you have an "I" statement? Morty: I am sad that I peed. I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet. Dr. Wong: Look at this family go. You guys are pros. What do you guys think about doing this once a week? Pickle Rick: Ugh.

Ugh.

Summer: God, I feel terrible. Rick: Yup, it really makes you appreciate how fickle the universe can be. One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, the next minute, bam! Morty: Uh, just to be clear, it was Summer's job to put the mattress under- Summer: Uh, what? It was your job, Morty. Morty: Nuh uh! Summer: Yeah huh! Rick:

Summer: God, I feel terrible. Rick: Yup, it really makes you appreciate how fickle the universe can be. One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, the next minute, bam! Morty: Uh, just to be clear, it was Summer's job to put the mattress under- Summer: Uh, what? It was your job, Morty. Morty: Nuh uh! Summer: Yeah huh! Rick: Actually, sorry Summer, I gotta back the M bomb on this one. I remember the conversation. We told Morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies, your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson.

Actually, sorry Summer, I gotta back the M bomb on this one. I remember the conversation. We told Morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies, your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson.

Rick: Or let her go, which I will reward with a quicker death. Riq IV: Because you love her! Rick: Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death. But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl. Summer: I hate you! Rick: Not an issue, sweetie. Morty: That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick! Rick:

Rick: Or let her go, which I will reward with a quicker death. Riq IV: Because you love her! Rick: Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death. But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl. Summer: I hate you! Rick: Not an issue, sweetie. Morty: That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick! Rick: Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now.

Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now.

Pickle Rick: "And"? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job? Morty: Was it? Pickle Rick: Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day. Uh, here's something that's never happened before Morty: Are you going to, I mean, you know, is this the first part of some magic trick? Pickle Rick: I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner. Morty: Well, can you move? Can you fly? Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: "And"? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job? Morty: Was it? Pickle Rick: Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day. Uh, here's something that's never happened before Morty: Are you going to, I mean, you know, is this the first part of some magic trick? Pickle Rick: I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner. Morty: Well, can you move? Can you fly? Pickle Rick: I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could.

I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could.

Alan: I mean, really unspoken. Like, "let's-not-tell-my-husband" unspoken. Supernova: We aren't married anymore, Alan. Alan: Sure, but were we married when you two were "stranded" on Delphi 6 for three days? Because I sensed something was weird when you can back. But what do I know about sensitivity? I'm just a phantom train conductor. You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! Drunk Rick: That's a three-pointer! Rick: Where the fuck is the lead wire?! Morty: You always put it in the weirdest place! Um, uh, over here, maybe? Rick:

Alan: I mean, really unspoken. Like, "let's-not-tell-my-husband" unspoken. Supernova: We aren't married anymore, Alan. Alan: Sure, but were we married when you two were "stranded" on Delphi 6 for three days? Because I sensed something was weird when you can back. But what do I know about sensitivity? I'm just a phantom train conductor. You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! Drunk Rick: That's a three-pointer! Rick: Where the fuck is the lead wire?! Morty: You always put it in the weirdest place! Um, uh, over here, maybe? Rick: Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. it's a miracle I actually every destroy anything.

Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. it's a miracle I actually every destroy anything.

Dr. Wong: It's not my job to take sides or pass judgment. Do you think when your father asks for that syringe, you could ask him -- Beth: He won't have to ask for it, okay? He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone. Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick:

Dr. Wong: It's not my job to take sides or pass judgment. Do you think when your father asks for that syringe, you could ask him -- Beth: He won't have to ask for it, okay? He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone. Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems. Pickle Rick: Oh, come on! Pickle Rick: You should know that isn't original. Pickle Rick: There's nothing I won't do to see her again.

There's nothing I won't do to see her again.

Rick: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different -- no more Dad, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez. Rick: He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away. Morty: Oh, fuck. Rick: I've replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home - Morty: Oh, man. Rick:

Rick: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different -- no more Dad, Morty. Morty: Oh, geez. Rick: He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away. Morty: Oh, fuck. Rick: I've replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home - Morty: Oh, man. Rick: - without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. Oh! I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom -

- without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. Oh! I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom -

Rick: You-you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. Sh-sh-she— she, she, she's all for you, Morty. Morty: I don't care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou— Rick: You know what, Morty? You're right. Let's forget the girl altogether. She, she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways. Morty: That's it... that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel. Rick: Get off of me, Morty! Morty: I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy! I'm put—I’m, I'm, I'm, I'm puttin’... I-I’m, I’m, I’m not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb... dumb person and just le-let you ruin the whole world! Rick:

Rick: You-you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. Sh-sh-she— she, she, she's all for you, Morty. Morty: I don't care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou— Rick: You know what, Morty? You're right. Let's forget the girl altogether. She, she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways. Morty: That's it... that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel. Rick: Get off of me, Morty! Morty: I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy! I'm put—I’m, I'm, I'm, I'm puttin’... I-I’m, I’m, I’m not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb... dumb person and just le-let you ruin the whole world! Rick: Come on! What’s gotten into you? If you love Earth so much why don’t you marry it? What are you, crazy? Alright, alright, Morty.

Come on! What’s gotten into you? If you love Earth so much why don’t you marry it? What are you, crazy? Alright, alright, Morty.

Cop Rick: Look, I’m just saying. Makes me a little sad to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys “animals”. Cop Morty: Well, it makes me sad to see another Rick cop buying into his sensitivity training. Cop Rick: Well, I’m glad to know there’s more like me. Cop Morty: Oh, there was one. Why do you think that seat was empty? Cop Rick: Fifth and ? That’s Mortytown. Cop Morty: Unit 7 responding. Teacher Rick:

Cop Rick: Look, I’m just saying. Makes me a little sad to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys “animals”. Cop Morty: Well, it makes me sad to see another Rick cop buying into his sensitivity training. Cop Rick: Well, I’m glad to know there’s more like me. Cop Morty: Oh, there was one. Why do you think that seat was empty? Cop Rick: Fifth and ? That’s Mortytown. Cop Morty: Unit 7 responding. Teacher Rick: "Good idea, Rick."

"Good idea, Rick."

Cornvelious Daniel: Whoa. I-Is that it, the portal gun? Rick: Yeah. That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost. Cornvelious Daniel: Awesome-possum. Mission Control, you getting this? Cornvelious Daniel: Yeah! Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. Actually, I think it shuts off automatically once your brain is liquid. Don't know, don't care. Pull me out. Hey, pull me out! Can you hear me? Rick: Nope, they cannot. Cornvelious Daniel: Why not? Rick:

Cornvelious Daniel: Whoa. I-Is that it, the portal gun? Rick: Yeah. That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost. Cornvelious Daniel: Awesome-possum. Mission Control, you getting this? Cornvelious Daniel: Yeah! Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. Actually, I think it shuts off automatically once your brain is liquid. Don't know, don't care. Pull me out. Hey, pull me out! Can you hear me? Rick: Nope, they cannot. Cornvelious Daniel: Why not? Rick: Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula, it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer.

Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula, it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer.

Drunk Rick: If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, you will die. Like in "Sawwww". Rick: Well, I-I-I think we've seen enough. I'll just figure out how to unplug this. Drunk Rick: Okay, here we go, room number one. The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, but do they know yourselves? Do you know yourselves? Match your... your shit, your... your gimmicks with your faces and y-you get it, it's a matching thing. And do it in three minutes, or you'll all die. Vance: Screw this. I'm not playing his game. I'm gonna find us a way out of here. Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. He said you'd die if you tried to leave. That means there's booby traps. Vance: Why are you acting like that's not you?! Rick:

Drunk Rick: If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, you will die. Like in "Sawwww". Rick: Well, I-I-I think we've seen enough. I'll just figure out how to unplug this. Drunk Rick: Okay, here we go, room number one. The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, but do they know yourselves? Do you know yourselves? Match your... your shit, your... your gimmicks with your faces and y-you get it, it's a matching thing. And do it in three minutes, or you'll all die. Vance: Screw this. I'm not playing his game. I'm gonna find us a way out of here. Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. He said you'd die if you tried to leave. That means there's booby traps. Vance: Why are you acting like that's not you?! Rick: What part of "blackout" don't you understand? I thought you drank?

What part of "blackout" don't you understand? I thought you drank?

President: It won’t matter how schwifty you get, Morty. The General’s got nukes set to launch halfway through Earth’s song! Morty: Oh my God! C-c-can you fly a Blackhawk? President: Can the Pope’s dick fit through a donut? Morty: Uhhh, I’m not sure? President: Exactly! Cromulon: SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. Rick:

President: It won’t matter how schwifty you get, Morty. The General’s got nukes set to launch halfway through Earth’s song! Morty: Oh my God! C-c-can you fly a Blackhawk? President: Can the Pope’s dick fit through a donut? Morty: Uhhh, I’m not sure? President: Exactly! Cromulon: SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. Rick: Ahem. Uhhh… lop-oo-lop-oo-lop-oo-dups, nop-oo-nop-oo-nop-oo-nuts.

Ahem. Uhhh… lop-oo-lop-oo-lop-oo-dups, nop-oo-nop-oo-nop-oo-nuts.

Cornvelious Daniel: Why not? Rick: Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula, it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer. Cornvelious Daniel: What are you talking about? This is a memory. Y-You can't alter details of a memory. Rick: True, but you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story. Cornvelious Daniel: It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in his Shoney's! Repeat -- we never left his Shoney's! Rick: Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out. Rick:

Cornvelious Daniel: Why not? Rick: Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula, it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer. Cornvelious Daniel: What are you talking about? This is a memory. Y-You can't alter details of a memory. Rick: True, but you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story. Cornvelious Daniel: It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in his Shoney's! Repeat -- we never left his Shoney's! Rick: Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out. Rick: Okay, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours. Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat, and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes.

Okay, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours. Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat, and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes.

Pickle Rick: By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. Pickle Rick: God damn it, I love myself. Pickle Rick: Pickle Riiick! Pickle Rick: Get that parkour. Get that parkour! Pickle Rick: Hey, it's cool. Just need to find the nearest exit. Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out. Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. Pickle Rick: God damn it, I love myself. Pickle Rick: Pickle Riiick! Pickle Rick: Get that parkour. Get that parkour! Pickle Rick: Hey, it's cool. Just need to find the nearest exit. Pickle Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out. Pickle Rick: Whoa! Who in the fuck's toilet is this?

Whoa! Who in the fuck's toilet is this?

Pickle Rick: I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could. Morty: All right, well, do pickles live forever or -- Pickle Rick: Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed. I'm a pickle. Morty: I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this. Why anyone would do this. Pickle Rick: The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't. Beth: Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late. Where's your grandpa? Pickle Rick:

Pickle Rick: I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could. Morty: All right, well, do pickles live forever or -- Pickle Rick: Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed. I'm a pickle. Morty: I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this. Why anyone would do this. Pickle Rick: The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't. Beth: Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late. Where's your grandpa? Pickle Rick: Right here, sweetie. I'm a pickle!

Right here, sweetie. I'm a pickle!

Agency Director: What is it? Agency Director: Where is it? Agency Director: We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle? Agency Director: Put him on, and locate the phone he's using. Pickle Rick: Hi, um, can you, uh please let me out. Agency Director: Your mere presence in this building violates international law. Pickle Rick:

Agency Director: What is it? Agency Director: Where is it? Agency Director: We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle? Agency Director: Put him on, and locate the phone he's using. Pickle Rick: Hi, um, can you, uh please let me out. Agency Director: Your mere presence in this building violates international law. Pickle Rick: You should know those men killed themselves.

You should know those men killed themselves.

President: Gentlemen, gentlemen, one at a time! Simon? Nathan: Have you tried sending it launch codes? Mr. President, what America’s got is 70,000 megatons of KABOOM-BOOM! And I say we show it right up this floating head’s ass! Rick: Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes! President: Stand down. Everybody stand down! I’m the leader of these people and I’m unarmed. There’s no need for any more snake-makery. Rick: My name is Rick Sanchez. This here’s my grandson Morty. Morty: Hey. Rick:

President: Gentlemen, gentlemen, one at a time! Simon? Nathan: Have you tried sending it launch codes? Mr. President, what America’s got is 70,000 megatons of KABOOM-BOOM! And I say we show it right up this floating head’s ass! Rick: Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes! President: Stand down. Everybody stand down! I’m the leader of these people and I’m unarmed. There’s no need for any more snake-makery. Rick: My name is Rick Sanchez. This here’s my grandson Morty. Morty: Hey. Rick: I’ve seen enough of the galaxy to know that what we’ve got here is a Cromulon from the Cygnus-5 Expanse. So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math. This head won’t go away until Earth shows them it’s got a hit song.

I’ve seen enough of the galaxy to know that what we’ve got here is a Cromulon from the Cygnus-5 Expanse. So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math. This head won’t go away until Earth shows them it’s got a hit song.

Rick: Ah, who cares? Morty: But.. she was trying to kill us! Rick: Morty, twenty people try to kill me every week. I end up getting high with half of 'em. I mean, check it out, Gear Head's here. Beth: Morty, you're wearing a Vindicator jacket. Are you a little superhero now? Morty: Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom. Which is why we don't need jackets. And I'm pretty sure we don't need Vindicators. Summer: Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. Rick:

Rick: Ah, who cares? Morty: But.. she was trying to kill us! Rick: Morty, twenty people try to kill me every week. I end up getting high with half of 'em. I mean, check it out, Gear Head's here. Beth: Morty, you're wearing a Vindicator jacket. Are you a little superhero now? Morty: Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom. Which is why we don't need jackets. And I'm pretty sure we don't need Vindicators. Summer: Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. Rick: Shut up, Summer.

Shut up, Summer.

Rick: My balls. Morty: Rick! Supernova: ...the Terraneus system. Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity, which should lead us to the location of the base. Rick: Oh, that's Million Ants. I can't see the ants over here. It just assumed that was, uh, Turd Man. Wiggly Turd Man. Morty: Rick, stop! Supernova: Rick, you have something to add to the briefing? Rick:

Rick: My balls. Morty: Rick! Supernova: ...the Terraneus system. Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity, which should lead us to the location of the base. Rick: Oh, that's Million Ants. I can't see the ants over here. It just assumed that was, uh, Turd Man. Wiggly Turd Man. Morty: Rick, stop! Supernova: Rick, you have something to add to the briefing? Rick: Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. Um, this guy. The, uh... The, uh...

Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. Um, this guy. The, uh... The, uh...

Rick: Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death. But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl. Summer: I hate you! Rick: Not an issue, sweetie. Morty: That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick! Rick: Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now. Morty: I'm not letting you let my sister die! Drop the gun! Rick:

Rick: Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death. But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl. Summer: I hate you! Rick: Not an issue, sweetie. Morty: That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick! Rick: Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now. Morty: I'm not letting you let my sister die! Drop the gun! Rick: I wasn't gonna let her die, you fuckin' moron!

I wasn't gonna let her die, you fuckin' moron!

Jerry: Are you kidding me?! Come on! Summer: Oh, my God. Morty: What's wrong? Jerry: Your idiot dog! Morty: Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, snuffles? You're a good boy. Jerry: Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad! Rick:

Jerry: Are you kidding me?! Come on! Summer: Oh, my God. Morty: What's wrong? Jerry: Your idiot dog! Morty: Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, snuffles? You're a good boy. Jerry: Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad! Rick: Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.

Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.