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Deep Learning Brasil 7

mommit

I’ve literally gotten to a point of just repeatedly saying No thank you, and when they insist- “seriously. I’ll ask when I feel like I need it. She’s only this small once; and I’m her mother.” And to the very rude one, “did you hear me? No. I’m good.” And escalated to “If you can’t respect my wishes with this then why should I trust you with watching my daughter at all? NO.” Cue major backpedaling. My spouse made the mistake of suggesting to my MIL- who they HATE?????- that we needed a date away. I did not agree, nor want it. I told her recently that if this shit keeps up I’ll be her ex-daughter-in-law. I’ll visit on my own time, with the grandbaby and me only, but there will be no dates either way until I’m damn good and ready.

mommit

For real! I was begging anyone to hold my baby so I could get a break. I was so touched out.

mommit

I was really upset about breastfeeding and didn't want anyone bottle feeding my baby except my husband and I. Because it was my job and I'd failed at it. Then one day my friend said that her friend couldn't have any more kids and bottle feeding a child had made her so happy because she was so upset that she couldn't have any more. I relaxed a bit after that, but still preferred my in laws not to feed her. I just made bottles and fed her but let them watch her. Plus not many people knew about paced feeding which my daughter needed because of reflux.

mommit

I'm still bitter about the "support" I had from my family when I had my second baby too. ​ Oh also, one time I had "friends" show up not long PP after my second was born and turned up empty handed.... and hungry. Seriously. I was covered in baby spit up, dirty unwashed hair, completely frazzled and trying to make a sandwich for my toddler who was yelling at me for cutting it the wrong way. They looked at me and hovered in the room and then said that they were going to go and get coffee and lunch for themselves because they were so hungry. They didn't come back. They didn't offer to bring me a coffee, they didn't offer to take the toddler with them for a little trip.... they literally showed up hungry, to the house of a single mom with a baby and a toddler.

mommit

Don’t be sorry; I’m also still bitter. My brother didn’t have kids, but there is absolutely baked in sexism in my family - at get togethers the women are expected to be in the kitchen preparing food while the men lounge about and talk sports for instance. It’s fucking gross. If we get blessed with grandchildren we won’t be perpetuating that BS.

mommit

Yeah I agree. I think people should just respect first time parents boundaries whatever they are until their comfortable with things. I used to have my daughter in the carrier 90% of the time for her first year of life. I enjoyed being with you like you do with yours. I wanted her so bad like you and just wanted to soak up all my time with her as a new mom

mommit

I hope you won’t be posting down the track about not having any help. That is all.

mommit

I'm sorry, that sucks! Not sure why ANYONE -- especially people who have had their own children and *should* know better -- would think a parent ought to be comfortable leaving their under-1-yr-old baby so far away. A few minutes? Sure, I might be down for that. But more than an hour? It's like they've forgotten what it's like to be 100% responsible for that little person..... When it was me, I almost said "FINE TAKE HIM EVEN THOUGH I DONT WANT YOU TO, but husband, you find another ride home." It really pissed me off that he didn't support me or seem to understand why I was upset.

mommit

oh totally! i told my mom i wouldn’t go to costco and unless i had my wrap and i hadn’t brought it!

mommit

I had my first in November and we didn't even bother with decorations that year. It was too overwhelming to even contemplate. It's awesome that she helped you like that

mommit

blessed with am Angel MIL as well! she helps out when she can, the days I go to work she look after my 2 year old much more lovingly than me. her favourite storyteller is grandma!

mommit

It’s so nice to hear so many people have guardian MIL’s as well. I don’t know what I would do without mine!

mommit

For some the baby age is really hard and it’s not just because of a lack of support. Babies are NEEDY. And they’re so helpless and fragile. There’s literally nothing they can do for themselves and neither can they ask for what they want. Yeah you get good at figuring it out, but it’s HARD. I’ll take my Tasmanian devil level of mischief 4yr old and 6 yr old sass but that’s rolling her eyes at me any day over ever having a baby again. Which I get is not the norm. Every other mom I’ve spoken too despised the toddler age whereas I was so happy to reach it. Everyone is different. It’s just important we all recognize we’re not the same and pay attention to what each person asks for and not what we think they’re asking for.

mommit

The people offering straight up have said “ I hated the baby stage, give me the baby and go take a break” when I’ve never complained or said I needed a break. They had colic babies so yup I get it for them it’s a wonder to see a non-crying baby. I shower every day, I’m able to go to the bathroom and eat with no problems. I get defensive and upset when I’m told I don’t know my own wants or needs.

mommit

Ugh I certainly hope you aren’t expending energy on those “friendships” after that.

mommit

I’m so sorry. Somehow, I feel like it cuts deep when it’s friends. Like, you thought you had each other’s back but you were wrong, it was always one sided type situation. Hugs to you.

mommit

I wish my kids could have grandparents like this.

mommit

I also loved the toddler stage and hated the newborn stage. I joke part of the reason my kids have a six year age gap is because I needed five years to get myself psyched up enough to go through the newborn stage again.

mommit

I’m in your boat. I am adoring the toddler goblin stage. 10/10. If I never have to do 6 weeks to four months again I will be thrilled.

mommit

I’m the same way! When I had my first everyone told me I would miss the newborn/infant stage. I don’t. I miss when she was like 2-7 years old. Now she’s 12 and it can be miserable lol my second is currently 9 months and I just can’t wait for her to walk and talk! I don’t do well with the baby stage.

mommit

This is so well said. I have a 12, 7 and now 1yr old. Though financially, we are in the best place - the amount of needing and life altering a baby/toddler has on your life that you completely forget about is vast. We have such little support and it’s really starting to make us realize how important it is to have and wish we did. I completely understand the point of the OP but sometimes when I read these, I think - I wish lol

mommit

So then tell them that ?

mommit

This so much. If I ever have another kid, theres going to be such a huge age gap because that newborn stage was exhausting and my husband and I just do not have the energy to go through that again anytime soon.

mommit

Goblin stage is accurate lol. My first was such a fun toddler. Full of sass but I could finally take her places without lugging a big old diaper bag and no crying. It was such a relief

mommit

Right? Tone of the post is super defensive and stressed out.. if OPs overall attitude is like that then that’s probably why people are offering help. When people offer help just communicate that you appreciate the offer but you’re truly enjoying this stage and don’t want a break..

mommit

10:10, do recommend. Kid1 is seven next month and Kid2 is almost four months. The oldest is old enough to communicate needs, is semi-self sufficient, and is old enough to help with a few things. The 8-12 weeks stage still sucked, but Kid2 is less high needs, so it sucked less.

mommit

My kid is about to be two, shes more independent now but still needs a lot of attention, I can't imagine trying to care for a newborn right now in addition to that. Absolutely no hate to the OP, every baby is different and every parent has different needs, and I'm sorry that people keep pushing her about spending time away from her baby. Just because my husband and I were having emotional breakdowns from exhaustion doesn't mean that everyone is gonna have that hard of a time

mommit

What a pro! Has he tried to suck out his own snot with that yet?

mommit

Just saying, I fucking LOVE the Nose Freida!!! My son had RSV at 3mos old. The bulb wouldn't work on him and he struggled to breathe. I bought one of these, put the filter in and sucked away. All of his snot came out and he was able to breathe again. 10/10 I highly recommend. Also, you don't get snot in your mouth. It gets into the big part and doesn't go past the filter. I swear by this handy little tool now.

mommit

omg, i had 2 sets and chickened out. bless his lil heart

mommit

Lmao it’s payback time, mommy! His face says it all! Such a cutie!

mommit

Awwwww what a little sweetheart! It's so rewarding when your kids try to help, isn't it? Like all that hard work we put in day in and day out to help them grow in emotional maturity starts paying off and it's freaking amazing. This past weekend, my husband and I both didn't sleep well because our daughter wet the bed, then had a nightmare later and needed cuddles. We were exhausted when morning came. I think she somehow knew, because she came into our room, gave us both a kiss on the cheek, and went to the living room to eat cereal and watch cartoons with Nana, who was visiting at the time. I'm so proud of the person she's growing into.

mommit

Awwww

mommit

Aww that's precious

mommit

How sweet!

mommit

“ILL GET YOUR BOOGERS FOR YOU MOM”

mommit

This isa truly hilarious and disgusting all at the same time

mommit

Your little boy and mine could pass as cousins/brothers! How cute!!

mommit

What a cutie

mommit

You are extremely blessed. He looks ready to swallow all of your snot. What a gentlemen!

mommit

He hasn’t - but what’s funny is that he HATES THE NOSE FREIDA! But I guess was willing to help me out

mommit

The real pro tip is always in the comments.

mommit

Yes!!! They are amazing! I don’t have many issues with bodily fluids - but I can’t handle snot. Like…. At all. It makes me gag. So my husband tends to do the nose Frieda for me

mommit

Everyone thinks I’m so gross by loving this thing so much, but it’s a lifesaver!!! I’ll always recommend this to moms. I honestly like this manual one better than the auto ones too.

mommit

Oh dude I don’t even use it myself! I told hubs, I do the nursing and the birthing, you can handle the snot.

mommit

It’s so true!!! He’s ready! thank you!!

mommit

Awww that’s so beautiful! It’s like “thanks mom and dad for doing all the crummy stuff to keep me safe and comfy - here’s the love I can show you”

mommit

He’s pretty awesome. earlier yesterday his big sis was sad and he saw her crying and went and found his portable sound maker, turned it onto a lullaby, brought it to her and said “here Teetoo (his word for sister) this make HAPPY!”

mommit

Thank you!!! It’s really amazing to see them think and then do things to show love.

mommit

Thank you!!

mommit

Isn’t that the best descriptor of being a parent?

mommit

Share a pic!!!! I’m so curious!!

mommit

Thank you!!

mommit

Ha! You made me cackle - thank you!

mommit

Mine is barf :( I can't do it. Nope. Lol

mommit

Same! My husband gets gross faced all the time lol. So do my friends. I have one who won't even try it and her twins just had RSV. Really broke my heart because of what a difference it could've made for their breathing. I've seen the auto ones and I just refuse lol

mommit

that’s more than fair!!

mommit

Adorable!

mommit

Hahahaha! Yes. Definitely.

mommit

Check my page :)

mommit

Oh yea, that’s pretty nasty stuff. But snot and boogers is what legit makes me gag. I was at a museum recently and saw a little girl pick her nose and then eat it, then LICK HER FINGER. I legit retched, and had to swallow my spit up.

mommit

Omg lol I'm so sorry. I would hate to have that issue. My kids treat their noses like a freaking buffet sometimes. Makes me wanna pull my hair out how yucky it is lol

mommit

Omg, that’s hysterical and so gross. Kids are just the grossest cutest things ever.