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[ "The pieces of a dismembered body are found lying in a purple pool of water, except the head is missing. The team finds that the body belongs to Jared Addison, a science fiction writer who had several mental problems. With Sweets's help, several suspects are hunted down, however the team has trouble finding enough evidence with the victim's head still missing... that is until they turn to Zack for help." ]

[ "\"The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER.", "(Interior of an abandoned warehouse.)", "TODD: That was great. You were great. So maybe we can do it again?", "KAREN: The others are coming, right?", "TODD: (hopping up and down a bit) We still got time.", "KAREN: What is the matter with you?", "TODD: I gotta take a leak.", "KAREN: Go!", "TODD: It's not my fault they made the GargantuGulps so gargantuous. (He begins to exit).", "KAREN: It doesn't seem to bother me any. Microbladder.", "TODD: (jogs out of the warehouse. TODD steps up to an evaporation pool and unzips his jeans. He urinates into the pool. We see the water turning purple.) KAREN!", "KAREN: WHAT?", "TODD: (yelling) Are you sure I'm the only guy you've ever had s*x with?", "KAREN: Why?", "(We look at the water again. A human hand reaches up out of the purple water.)", "TODD: Oh my god. (Two more body parts appear. TODD runs back and we see a torso and numerous other parts have surfaced.)", "TODD: KAREN! KAREN!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. McKinley Psychiatric Hospital.)", "ZACK: As I've told you many times before Doctor Sweets, I do feel remorse.", "SWEETS: But not for stabbing a man in the heart.", "ZACK: No, for succumbing to the faulty logic that persuaded me that his death was desirable.", "SWEETS: You know a sane person would regret murdering someone more than being taken in by a line of crap.", "ZACK: Define 'crap'.", "SWEETS: Drivel, blarney, nonsense, uh, balderdash, twaddle, bull, bunkum, hooey. Like that.", "ZACK: Now I realize it was drivel, blarney, nonsense, balderdash, twaddle, bull, bunkum, hooey. Then I perceived it as logic.", "SWEETS: (Goes to stand.) How are your hands?", "ZACK: I estimate that I've regained almost 60% full function. Which is not bad for hands that were torn apart by an explosion.", "(SWEETS is by the locked door, swiping a key card. A red light denies him access.)", "SWEETS: You know you'll only be released from this psychiatric institution (he tries again) if we cure you of your delusions. (He raps on the door.) My card isn't working! Hello?", "ZACK: I was wrong, not delusional.", "(SWEETS just looks at him. The door is opened by a male ORDERLY in scrubs.)", "ORDERLY: Your card must have expired, Doctor Sweets.", "SWEETS: (looks at the card) Thank you. (Then at ZACK) Well, perhaps you should consider that your delusion is that you're not delusional.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. same abandoned warehouse from teaser.)", "BOOTH: How many pieces in total?", "AGENT: Twelve. Interesting anomaly, no head.", "BRENNAN: No head? That's odd.", "AGENT: Which is why I said 'anomaly'.", "BOOTH: Hey, you don't need to be snippy with my partner, pal.", "BRENNAN: Booth, it's alright. Woah, what's wrong with your back?", "BOOTH: Oh, nothing.", "BRENNAN: Well you're walking as if you've strained your intertransverse ligament. I might be able to help with that.", "BOOTH: No I should never have gone down that small slide with Parker. I'll be fine; it's just nothing, okay?", "AGENT: Body parts were found in this evaporation pool.", "BOOTH: That's purple!", "AGENT: Yeah, kid said it turned purple when he peed in it.", "BRENNAN: For future reference, this is more of an anomaly than a missing head.", "AGENT: Sad comment on your life, Doc.", "BOOTH: Again, snippy. You know, if my back wasn't bad, I would hit you.", "BRENNAN: Booth! I can take care of myself. (Beat.) Size of the limbs suggest that our victim is a fully-grown male.", "BOOTH: What is with the purple water?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins can analyze it.", "AGENT 2: Cell phone, Doctor Brennan.", "BOOTH: Alright don't tell me, you want the entire purple pond drained and shipped back to the Jeffersonian.", "BRENNAN: No, I think a small sample will do.", "BOOTH: Great!", "BRENNAN: Although... Skulls are heavy; the head could have sunk to the bottom. You are correct. We should drain it.", "BOOTH: We're draining it. Drain it. (Muttering) Oh, man.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Opening Credits)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Open, Int. Medico-Legal Lab, platform.)", "ANGELA: The ends of his fingers look burned.", "BRENNAN: Torture?", "WENDALL: Sometimes guys try to conceal their identity by losing their fingerprints.", "BRENNAN: Mr Bray is my brightest scholarship student.", "ANGELA: Alright, these are children's shoes, but they're a size 11.", "CAM: So you think our victim was a giant toddler?", "BRENNAN: No, that would show up in the bones.", "CAM: (to WENDALL) Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.", "ANGELA: I tracked down the manufacturer in Sri Lanka, and guess what? Special order.", "CAM: Time of death, based on decomp, between two and four days.", "BRENNAN: All of the cuts to the skeleton are clean except for several incomplete slices to the C2 Vertebra WENDALL: Close to cutting off the head, the killer hesitates.", "CAM: Makes sense... gets easier after the first chop.", "BRENNAN: What did you glean from the x-rays?", "WENDALL: Slight spinal curvature, hypermobile extension joints, ah, cartilage deficiency, Ehler-Danlos Syndrome?", "CAM: We'll have the FBI check with local orthopedic physicians.", "(Enter HODGINS)", "HODGINS: The water turned purple because of a bottom growing algae called lemanea. Something agitated the algae so that it turned purple.", "BRENNAN: The young man who found the body urinated in the pool.", "HODGINS: Huh, well, average rate of flow for males under forty-five is what, it's 21 milliliters per second, so yeah, yeah that would be enough to disrupt the algae.", "CAM: Doctor Hodgins, have you moved yet?", "HODGINS: Nope. If you hand me those shoes, I can check for particulates.", "(Exit HODGINS.)", "BRENNAN: Where is Hodgins moving?", "ANGELA: Oh, Cam thinks that Hodgins should move into Zack's Ookey room.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Cam's right. I tell all of my grad students not to be distracted by the standard set by Zack.", "WENDALL: I don't know who that is.", "ANGELA: You and me, Wendell, we need to talk.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: transit, Int. Booth's SUV)", "BRENNAN: If your back doesn't hurt, then why are you letting me drive?", "BOOTH: Well, you know what? Don't get used to it, okay? I heal really, really fast. My guys, they didn't find the victim's head in the pool. Alright? But I put out a bulletin to orthopedic doctors within two hundred miles of the body drop-", "BRENNAN: Body parts drop. The victim was killed, chopped up and then dropped. What?", "BOOTH: Breaking in a new intern aren't you?", "BRENNAN: How did you know?", "BOOTH: Well, because, you know, you always get overly precise... that's how I usually know. Hey, so, you want me to uh, talk to them, break them in a little bit?", "BRENNAN: No, Booth, you don't need to fix everything for everyone all the time. You know? I can handle myself.", "BOOTH: Partners watch out for each other.", "BRENNAN: Well, if that were true, you'd let me fix your back.", "BOOTH: My back is fine, alright? All I need is an aspirin, a hot bath, maybe a nice single malt scotch. We cross referenced (mispronounced) Ehler-DanlosSyndrome-", "BRENNAN: (correcting) Ailers-Donlohs BOOTH: - those, those kiddy Ange tracked down, okay, we came up with this guy here.", "BRENNAN: Oh, Jared Addison, twenty-five years old.", "BOOTH: Watch the road!", "BRENNAN: What, I am watching the road. I am an excellent driver.", "BOOTH: (simultaneously) Twenty-five years old. Oh, well you're not; you're looking at the screen. Well I'm guessing that that's our victim.", "(Both exhale.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Exterior JARED ADDISON's residence. MRS ADDISON rises from her gardening.)", "MRS ADDISON: My son was diagnosed with Ehler-Danlosin his teens. Are you sure it's Jared?", "BOOTH: (holding up a picture of the shoes) Do you recognize these shoes?", "MRS ADDISON: Jared ordered them specially.", "BRENNAN: This distinct footwear in combination with Ehler-Danlosand other markers indicate that the remains we found belonged to your son.", "BOOTH: We're very sorry for your loss. If you need a moment...", "BRENNAN: It would be helpful if we could see your son's room.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN exchange a glance. MRS ADDISON nods.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. JARED ADDISON's bedroom. MRS ADDISON reveals three rows of the same shoes.)", "BOOTH: Woah.", "MRS ADDISON: you can see why I recognized the shoes.", "BOOTH: Mrs Addison, your son died days ago. Why didn't you report him missing?", "MRS ADDISON: I had no idea Jared was missing.", "BOOTH: Well he lives here with you, right?", "MRS ADDISON: Jared was a novelist. He was finishing a book. He checked into a hotel so I wouldn't bother him. I had no idea anything was wrong.", "BRENNAN: Your son was Jared Addison the cult science fiction novelist?", "BOOTH: Wait a second; on the back here it says that he lived in the Caribbean on a boat.", "BRENNAN: No, that's not your son. (Beat.) Obviously the publisher hired an impersonator and came up with some romantic cover story.]", "BOOTH: How'd you know that?", "BRENNAN: My publisher wanted to do the same thing with me.", "MRS ADDISON: Jared's publisher dropped him after his second book. Jared was feeling a lot of pressure to make this one great, maybe try to get him back.", "BOOTH: Listen, Mrs Addison, with your permission I'd like to bring someone in here to take a look over your son's room. You know, an expert.", "BRENNAN: W-what kind of expert?", "BOOTH: You know, Bones, an expert.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab, Hodgins' workspace)", "HODGINS: I found coffee grounds, and sea kelp in the treads of the vic's shoes.", "CAM: So, before the giant toddler was killed he was brewing coffee on the seashore?", "HODGINS: Yes, that's it precisely. Case closed. Also, I found a tiny fly egg smaller than any of the eggs of any of the flies common to where we found the body parts.", "CAM: Where is this fly egg from?", "HODGINS: In order to answer that, I have to hatch it.", "CAM: Seriously?", "HODGINS: I'm an entomologist. I have to hatch this insect egg in order to identify an important piece of evidence in a murder investigation. Where's the funny in that?", "CAM: I know you're upset about breaking up with Angela, Doctor Hodgins, and I know you're upset about losing Zack, but despite your personal problems, this is a workplace and your attitude leaves a lot to be desired.", "HODGINS: Fine, if you want to make a change, you make a change. Otherwise, you let me do my job, and hatch this egg.", "(Beat. CAM walks away.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. JARED ADDISON's bedroom.)", "SWEETS: These action figurines? They're awesome.", "BOOTH: Still living at home there, huh Sweets?", "SWEETS: No, I have my own place. And before that, I lived with a woman, alright?", "BRENNAN: Was that woman your mother?", "BOOTH: Yeah, your mommy?", "SWEETS: No, she most definitely was not my mother. (Beat.) If our victim's twenty-five years old, I'd assume he was mentally slow?", "BRENNAN: Given the complexity of his novels, I'd estimate his IQ to be higher than yours.", "SWEETS: Then Booth is right - something else is wrong.", "BOOTH: Ha, full speed ahead Sweets. Alright, let me have it - come on.", "SWEETS: It goes without saying! Everything is perfectly aligned. Obsessive compulsive.", "BRENNAN: How does this help us?", "SWEETS: People with OCD repeat patterns in their lives in order to stave off psychological panic. Now, if we ask which of Jared Addison's set patterns have recently been disrupted... we may very well discover what got him killed.", "BRENNAN: No, we can't ask Jared Addison. He's dead SWEETS: She is WICKED literal, huh?", "BOOTH: Okay, hey, it's her process, don't be mean to her.", "BRENNAN: Booth!", "BOOTH: I'm not defending, I'm just explaining.", "BRENNAN: I can defend- you were defending.", "BOOTH: I was explaining.", "SWEETS: Woah, this is an interesting development in your interpersonal behaviors.", "BRENNAN: No, what's more interesting is that Booth's back hurts and he won't let me fix it.", "BOOTH: No, none of this is interesting, okay? Look, I just want to know what mojo disrupted crazy boy's pattern.", "SWEETS: My first guess? At his age? s*x.", "BOOTH: s*x.", "SWEETS: \"Crazy boy\"'s offensive, by the way.", "BRENNAN: His mother didn't mention a girlfriend. (Beat.) What's wrong with him?", "BOOTH: Sweets, what are you doing?", "SWEETS: I'm putting myself in the mind of an Obsessive Compulsive in order to figure out where I might conceal a memory enhancer, a psychosexual proxy.", "BOOTH: Right... right... what's that mean?", "BRENNAN: Masturbatory aid.", "BOOTH: Oh! Check the shoes.", "BRENNAN: What?", "SWEETS: Good.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: He's not going to find it in the shoes.", "(SWEETS holds up an envelope.)", "BRENNAN: Do all boys keep their masturbatory aids in their shoes, or is that particular to you?", "BOOTH: Oh, that's for me to know and you to find out.", "SWEETS: Miss Kelly Sutton. There's a phone number, and an email address, and a, a list of sexual suggestions.", "BOOTH: Woah, BRENNAN: What, you're surprised he has a girlfriend?", "BOOTH: Well, I wouldn't exactly call her a girl. (A photograph shows a woman much older than JARED ADDISON's age bracket.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. FBI interrogation room.)", "KELLY: I loved Jared. The age difference bothers you?", "BOOTH: Well Mrs Addison said that Jared wasn't really all that interested in you.", "KELLY: She said that I was pursuing Jared, didn't she? Fact is, Jared wanted to marry me.", "(SWEETS and BRENNAN, behind one-way glass)", "SWEETS: One study showed that in 45% of successful American marriages, the woman was at least five years older than her husband.", "BRENNAN: Older women are sexually experienced and less inhibited-", "SWEETS: (mouths) yeah...", "BRENNAN: Younger men have a greater s*x drive and they can keep up.", "SWEETS: I know quite a bit about older women. The woman I lived with was twenty-six, so...", "BOOTH: (on the other side of the glass, coughs)", "SWEETS: Oh. Sorry. (He turns off the transmitter to Booth's earpiece.)", "BOOTH: So, how did you meet?", "KELLY: Well I help out my son at his florist and nursery, and Jared came in to buy an orchid for his mother. He was full of anxiety.", "SWEETS: (through transmitter) Probably about microbes, Booth.", "BOOTH: Oh, afraid of germs?", "KELLY: I picked out an orchid and I took it out to his car, and he was very appreciative. And I thought he was just adorable, so I asked him out to dinner and the rest is history. He fell in love with me and I responded.", "BOOTH: Jared's mother thought he was at the hotel writing his book, but uh, there's no record of him checking in.", "KELLY: He was at the hotel, but for a conference...", "BOOTH: Right, with the uh, Science Fiction writers.", "KELLY: No, for behavior modification.", "SWEETS: If he was trying to overcome his- (turns on transmitter) if he was trying to overcome his psychological issues, that might have threatened her.", "BOOTH: With your support.", "KELLY: Of course. (Beat.) Look, I only wanted what was best for Jared. I'm not a crazy person.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab, Bone Room.)", "WENDALL: I've looked at the remains over and over and I can't find any cause of death.", "BRENNAN: Without the head, we many never discover cause of death, and without cause of death, it's much less likely that we'll solve the crime.", "WENDALL: This fracture, on the right metacarpal in the last two fingers? It's got a nickname. The 'boxers fracture'. It happens if you slug someone without keeping your wrist dead straight. Yeah, so.", "BRENNAN: How did you know that?", "WENDALL: I fought Golden Gloves when I was a kid. If you x-ray my hand, it don't look much different than this.", "BRENNAN: I don't expect anyone to live up to Zack's standards, Mr Bray, but that is extremely good work. (Beat.) Mr Bray, have you ever conducted a sexual relationship with a woman over twenty years older than yourself? (Beat.) I ask because anthropologically speaking, there's a correlation between physically aggressive young males and sexual preciosity.", "WENDALL: I'm pretty sure you aren't any twenty years older than me, Doctor Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Why would my age be relevant? (Beat.) Very good work on the boxer's fracture. (Exit BRENNAN.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. McKinley Psychiatric Hospital)", "ZACK: What did you bring me, Hodgins?", "HODGINS: (flips a written equation onto the table) Huh? Try and figure this one out.", "ZACK: The lemma on it's own is difficult to solve because the solution changes dependent up on whether or not the subsequent proposition is auxiliary or subsidiary.", "HODGINS: So I got you beat, right? Yep, that makes me king of the- (Beat.) - that, that makes me king. (Beat.) We're going to get you out of here someday, Zack, and you can be king again.", "ZACK: I know you're lying to make me feel better and not to be malicious.", "HODGINS: Want to hear about the case we're working on now? Body in twelve pieces, and get this - no head.", "ZACK: So thirteen pieces. (Beat.) The linear function must be bounded before you apply the Riesz representation.", "HODGINS: What?", "ZACK: The characteristic polynomial of a differential operator is not the same as the characteristic polynomial of a matrix.", "HODGINS: You solved it?", "ZACK: Yes. I'm king of the loony bin.", "HODGINS: Yeah you are. (Beat.) Hey, I got an idea. I'm going to leave the case file with you. It's got all the x-rays so far, all the data. Maybe you'll find something we missed, huh?", "ZACK: I've done that many times in the past. (Beat.) Angela says you and she aren't together anymore.", "HODGINS: Yeah, y'know.", "ZACK: I'm sorry things are going badly for you.", "(HODGINS laughs.)", "ZACK: Why are you laughing?", "HODGINS: My best friend is locked up in a loony bin, wearing gloves because he blew up his own hands, and he feels sorry for me. (He laughs. Beat.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. of a hotel, a behavior modification course.)", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Mud is not dangerous. Mud is not toxic, mud is not poisonous, mud will not hurt you. What you're going to do is you're going to dip your hand in the bucket and you're going to mix it around. Do it!", "BRENNAN: Look at the haemotoma on his left occipital. It's what you would call a shiner.", "BOOTH: I know, Bones.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Now, take that mud. Rub it on your arms, on your legs, your stomach, your feet, get it in there.", "RALPH: No, no, no, I can't do it. I can't.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Look, who's in control, Ralph, you or the OCD?", "RALPH: Oh god, oh god, oh god.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Do you want to be ordered around by a disorder?", "RALPH: No. I want order, not disorder.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: I have been where you are, man. I have felt your fears. Now look at me now, you can do it too. (Ralph runs from the room.) Ralph.", "BOOTH: Ooh, we got a runner.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: You think you wanna follow Ralph? All of ya? But you don't want to do that; you do not want to do that. I know, because I'm one of you.", "BOOTH: Excuse me. Maybe you would like to follow me, I've a few questions for you.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: I'm a professor of Psychology at the University of Maryland. I received a grant to conduct trial research on methods of reforming OCD behavior.", "BOOTH: Was Jared Addison one of your students?", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: I'm bound by patient confidentiality, I'm sure you understand.", "BRENNAN: Jared was chopped into pieces and tossed away into an industrial pool.", "BOOTH: Yeah, that's not one of your therapy exercises now is it?", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Oh wow, oh god, yes, yes, Jared was one of mine. He ah, I believe he was making progress despite severe misophobia.", "BOOTH: Misophobia, right, and that is...", "BRENNAN: The germ phobia.", "BOOTH: Right.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: He'd hold a flame under his fingertips after shaking hands; he would literally burn the germs away.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw Jared.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: It was Thursday afternoon. He took off right after we completed the toilet exercise.", "BOOTH: You mean he went to the bathroom.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: No. Each participant is required to pick a mint out of the toilet and hold it on their tongue for ten seconds.", "BOOTH: Maybe Jared gave you that shiner after you made him suck on a toilet mint.", "BRENNAN: We know he struck someone with his right hand.", "BOOTH: Yeah, just like this, right there (he strikes out with his fist but doesn't connect.) You see? Right there like that.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: I was punched by another participant who had an extreme reaction to the floor licking exercise.", "BRENNAN: Is it common for patients to attack you?", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: It happens. There's a lot of stress involved, people break.", "BRENNAN: Some people would see what you do as torture.", "BOOTH: Yeah, maybe when Jared let you down, you broke.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Let me down? Jared was my star patient! It's a tragedy he died before he could enjoy his new freedoms.", "RALPH: (entering) Excuse me.", "PROFESSOR AMERIAN: Ah, it's okay Ralph; we'll try again tomorrow.", "RALPH: I'm not here to apologies, Professor Amerian; I'm here to confess. I killed Jared. Can you please sterilize your handcuffs before taking me in?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. FBI Interrogation room.)", "SWEETS: Now I just want to say for the record that you're here of your own volition and have declined legal representation.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN behind one-way glass.)", "BRENNAN: Why are you letting Sweets conduct this interrogation?", "BOOTH: Crazy guy, shrink, it's a no brainer.", "BRENNAN: Are we going to let Sweets interrogate all of our insane suspects?", "(SWEETS lifts his hand to his ear.)", "BOOTH: (into transmitter) Annoying, isn't it, Sweets?", "SWEETS: (Beat.) Why did you kill him?", "RALPH: I didn't mean to kill him. The fact is, if I don't eat at exactly 8.14am according to this watch, the person nearest to me dies. Professor Amerian told me not to eat until 9am according to this watch, and Jared was sitting next to me.", "SWEETS: You believe that's what killed him?", "RALPH: When you lock me up, I should either keep my watch or you should only put me next to terrible people who deserve to die.", "SWEETS: Did you by any chance dismember Jared after you killed him?", "RALPH: No, I just killed him.", "BOOTH: Oh no, we've gotta keep looking.", "BRENNAN: If Jared was having breakfast with Ralph, how come he never showed up for that day's session?", "SWEETS: Ralph, where did Jared go after you had breakfast together?", "RALPH: To the coffee bar in the lobby.", "SWEETS: Why?", "RALPH: To get coffee.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins found coffee grounds and sea kelp in the treads of Jared's shoes.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[Int. Hotel Lobby; coffee stand]", "BARRISTER: What can I get you?", "BRENNAN: A sample of your grounds.", "BOOTH: It's garbage, Bones. You don't need a warrant for garbage.", "BARRISTER: What's going on?", "BOOTH: FBI, Special Agent Booth. Do you recognize this man?", "BARRISTER: What did he do, lodge a complaint? Because I never actually hit the guy. I pushed him. On the chest, with maybe two fingers. A nudge.", "BRENNAN: Why did you push him?", "BARRISTER: The dude had me wash my hands with antibacterial soap before I started on his cappuccino. Then he had me redo it. Three times, because the cup was dirty. On the outside. Which it was not. Look at my cups. Pristine.", "BOOTH: So you pushed the dude for insulting your cups.", "BARRISTER: No. All of these OCDC people are the same. Complaining. Every day I'm throwing away perfectly good coffee. I'm going bankrupt. He did it to me one too many times and I cracked. Call it a crime of passion.", "BOOTH: So was that the last time you saw him?", "BARRISTER: Nope, guy came by here the other day, and we made nice. Thursday. He apologized to me; he even shook my hands without putting on rubber gloves. He was like a different guy.", "BRENNAN: Professor Amerian's methods were working.", "BARRISTER: Oh god, please keep that under your hat. That's all I need is for this place to become the coffee Mecca for the phobics.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[Int. Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office.]", "ANGELA: Hey, Wendell, come in. What can I do for you?", "WENDALL: You said come to you with questions. (Beat.) I owe people money.", "ANGELA: That's not technically a question, so there's not much for me to go on.", "WENDALL: What I gotta do is keep my nose clean, graduate at the top of my class and get a good job so I can pay off that debt.", "ANGELA: You're worried about getting fired because you can't satisfy Doctor Brennan, right?", "WENDALL: ...never mind. [WENDALL exits. ANGELA follows into the hallway]", "ANGELA: Wendell, Wendell hold on. You never actually asked me a question.", "WENDALL: That guy, the psycho who helped the serial killer?", "ANGELA: Could you please not call Zack a psycho? Crazy as it sounds we all still love him.", "WENDALL: He was Doctor Brennan's boy toy, right?", "ANGELA: What, boy toy... as in sexual? (WENDALL nods. ANGELA laughs.) No. Where did you get- no. Absolutely not.", "WENDALL: Plus the FBI guy.", "ANGELA: Again, no. Wrong.", "WENDALL: Well then she hit on me.", "ANGELA: No, I don't think so.", "WENDALL: She looked me right in the eyes and asked me if I had any experience with older women. It's like if you want to work around here you gotta-", "ANGELA: Wendell, stop. You need to look for some alternative explanation for what you think happened between you and Brennan. And if you can't think of anything than you should just assume you're hallucinating. Or insane. Because she absolutely didn't hit on you. I'm glad we talked. [Exit ANGELA.]", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[Int. Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office.]", "CAM: You get anything off the victim's cell phone?", "ANGELA: I was able to recreate a call list from the sim.", "CAM: He only called one number.", "ANGELA: Once a day for thirty days at exactly the same time.", "CAM: Who is it?", "ANGELA: I called the number and recorded the answer.", "RECIEVER: Forward Retro Publishing, how may I direct your call?", "ANGELA: Does that mean anything to you?", "CAM: Yes. Forward Retro is the publisher that dropped Jared Addison after his second book. The one that never wanted to talk to him again.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[Int. FBI interrogation room.]", "TUSHMAN: Publishing game has changed. You know what I mean, Doctor Brennan.", "BRENNAN: No, I do not.", "BOOTH: Well, try me, Mr Tushman.", "TUSHMAN: Book-wise it's no longer about good writing, per se, it's about marketability.", "BRENNAN: Of the book.", "TUSHMAN: Of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.", "BRENNAN: Because I'm a very good writer.", "TUSHMAN: You're serviceable. But your success is contingent upon your image as a hot scientist chick.", "BRENNAN: That's not true is it?", "BOOTH: No, of course not. Don't call my partner a \"chick\". What's the matter with you?", "TUSHMAN: Fine, fine, got it. The point is, I had to hire a guy to pretend to be Jared. Book tours, press, the geek flash at the nerd conventions.", "BOOTH: This guy (he points to the picture on the back of JARED ADDISON's book)", "TUSHMAN: Yeah, CD Howl. The deal I had with CD was to let him write his own stuff and you know what, it was good, he started selling, so I had to choose between Jared and CD.", "BOOTH: So you had no contact with Jared Addison after firing him.", "TUSHMAN: Absolutely none.", "BOOTH: And that's a lie. He called you every day. (BRENNAN lunges at TUSHMAN) Woah, Bones, ow.", "BRENNAN: Ask him what happened to his tooth.", "TUSHMAN: (Distorted somewhat) Uh, ugh, that's assault. Are your hands clean?", "BOOTH: Yeah, my partner wants to know what happened to your tooth.", "BRENNAN: Jared Addison punched him.", "TUSHMAN: I admit to that cause and effect situation.", "BOOTH: Why'd he punch you?", "BRENNAN: Probably because he said Jared was a bad writer.", "TUSHMAN: I didn't kill Jared, but you think I did because of a minor physical altercation.", "BOOTH: Okay... go ahead. You know what? Explain yourself.", "TUSHMAN: Jared came into my office and he told me he was cured of his OCD, he mentioned toilet candy... uh. He said he was willing to go out on the road, hustle the book however I wanted, I told him I wasn't interested, I'd heard it all before, and then he clapped me one. Didn't hurt either, and then I told him that I would take on his book.", "BRENNAN: Why did you change your mind after he hit you?", "BOOTH: So if I punched you, you'd read my manuscript?", "TUSHMAN: Jared hit me. With his bare hand. The old Jared Addison would have never done that.", "BRENNAN: You believed he was cured.", "TUSHMAN: Can you imagine the sales I'd have gotten off of revealing the real Jared Addison? Mm. I'd have made a fortune.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab, HODGINS' workstation)", "CAM: Doctor Hodgins, HODGINS: Shhh. My egg from the victim's shoes is hatching.", "CAM: You need quiet for that.", "HODGINS: No, I just thought it might stop you from talking.", "CAM: Pushing it, Doctor Hodgins, how's about we say you've found the line? (A beat. HODGINS concedes)", "HODGINS: This fly might tell us where Jared Addison was murdered. Oh, look, look, look, look. Hey there, little buddy. This is a white fly. It only lives in very warm, humid climates.", "CAM: Jared Addison's old lady girlfriend used to work in a nursery.", "HODGINS: Hey, Doctor Saroyan? I'm not moving into Zack's space. I'm not being difficult, I just, I can't do it. I hope you understand.", "CAM: I understand. I thought you being the one who moved in there would be easiest for Zack.", "HODGINS: Well, if he were a normal human, that might be true, but...", "CAM: (laughs) Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Crown Diner)", "ANGELA: Okay, here's the thing. This new guy, Wendell? He might be nuts.", "SWEETS: Hey Angela. Pickle?", "ANGELA: He thinks Brennan hit on him.", "SWEETS: Why does he think that?", "ANGELA: He says she asked him if he was interested in having s*x with an older woman. Which is impossible. Which I set him straight about, in no uncertain terms believe you me.", "SWEETS: I'm certain she did exactly that.", "ANGELA: No no. I've known Brennan for years, and there's no way, believe me she had a-", "SWEETS: Our murder victim was twenty-eight years younger than his girlfriend. Doctor Brennan was probably looking for insights in her, you know, clumsy yet endearing way. You might want to let Wendell know that you've misjudged him. In no uncertain terms.", "ANGELA: Huh. Well Wendell also says that he owes a lot of people a lot of money. And that he really needs this job. Like, the mob or something.", "SWEETS: Oh, no, no, no. Unless it's rampant paranoia, not my jurisdiction. But on the other thing I'm solid.", "ANGELA: You know, the last time I listened to you, you broke up me and Hodgins.", "SWEETS: No.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "SWEETS: Angela. That wasn't my fault. I think you know that.", "ANGELA: Yeah. (Exit ANGELA).", "SWEETS: (Softly.) Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Ext., MR SUTTON [KELLY SUTTON's SON]'s nursery.)", "BOOTH: Okay, what do you think?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, what do you think?", "HODGINS: Oh yeah. This is definitely an environment conducive to white fly. (He lets out a long whistle) I'll start taking some samples.", "SUTTON: Can I help you?", "BOOTH: Yeah, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. We have a warrant here to search the premises.", "SUTTON: Is this about Jared Addison's murder?", "BOOTH: Yup. (Beat. BRENNAN reaches down into compost) No no, Bones, don't touch that. You know there's tons of disgusting stuff and chemicals in that-", "SUTTON: Not here, our fertilizer's 100% organics. My own blend.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I bet. (BRENNAN puts some fertilizer on her tongue) Oh, there you go, now you're going to get sick, your stomach going to go upside down, it's going to be a mess.", "BRENNAN: Coffee.", "BOOTH: Coffee?", "BRENNAN: Sea kelp and coffee grounds. Jared Addison was here shortly before he died.", "SUTTON: Jared was my mom's boyfriend. Heavy emphasis on the \"boy\".", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, we heard that this place kinda freaked him out.", "SUTTON: All the germs, yeah, but he was here. I don't know if it was the dirt that made him squirm or the question but the kid toughed it out.", "BRENNAN: What question?", "SUTTON: He wanted my permission to marry mom.", "BOOTH: And what was your answer?", "SUTTON: I told him I thought it would be creepy to have a stepfather who was ten years younger than me. I told him he should forget about it and try to be normal.", "BRENNAN: You told him \"no\".", "SUTTON: I said no, he could not have my blessing. (Beat.) He was lucky I didn't conk him on the head and chop him up for fertilizer, but I didn't.", "HODGINS: White flies. I'll do some lab work, but they look to be the exact strain that I hatched at the lab.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, but did you say you did conk him on the head?", "SUTTON: I said I didn't.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Flies on the shovel.", "BOOTH: Oh. We know that flies are attracted to manure, blood.", "BRENNAN: The flies are mostly on this shovel. It follows that there should be something different about this one. Will that warrant let me test the shovel?", "BOOTH: Well, yeah. It's out in the open, so it's fine.", "BRENNAN: I'm going to use phenolphthalein. It'll tell us if there's blood present on the shovel. (BRENNAN swabs the shovel and dips it in phenolphthalein. The liquid turns pink.)", "SUTTON: What's pink mean?", "HODGINS: It means you caved in Jared Addison's skull.", "BRENNAN: And/or removed his head.", "BOOTH: I'm going to have to ask you to close up shop and take you downtown. We have a few questions we'd like to ask you.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab upstairs walkway. WENDELL stands with a cigarette in his mouth.)", "ANGELA: Somebody as smart as you should know better.", "WENDELL: Oh I don't smoke, I just... I don't smoke.", "ANGELA: So... You weren't totally wrong about Doctor Brennan.", "WENDELL: I can't risk having s*x with my boss. Like I said, I got debts.", "ANGELA: No, no. Not totally wrong, I said. When she asked you about your experiences with older women, her interest was anthropological.", "WENDELL: She was looking me right in the eyes.", "ANGELA: She's direct. And awkward. Now, you've got two choices here. You either answer the question, like me or Zack, or you tell her she's being inappropriate, like Booth or Cam. Either way, she's not going to hold it against you.", "WENDELL: You're sure about this.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Frankly I'm more worried about the money owing thing.", "WENDELL: I can pay my debts.", "ANGELA: Yeah but you can't work on legal cases if the wrong kind of people have leverage on you, right?", "WENDELL: Wrong kind of people? What's that supposed to mean?", "ANGELA: Oh, no, I'm trying to help, Wendell, it's not-", "WENDELL: No, no, if they're the wrong people, then so am I.", "ANGELA: Could you please not yell?", "WENDELL: My whole neighborhood ponied up to send me to school. They're working people. They make money with their hands. I need to pay them back.", "ANGELA: Oh! I... I, I thought you owed the mob money. Like, we're working on a mob case and you owe the mob money. (They both laugh.)", "WENDELL: I don't owe the mob money.", "ANGELA: Yeah, see the problem?", "WENDELL: And I don't smoke. When I gotta think, I ask myself what my dad would've done. You know, he smoked all the time. Holding this cigarette, it's stupid, okay, but it helps me get into his head. But he died of lung cancer, so I do not smoke.", "ANGELA: Wow, Wendell. Once you start talking, it's... wow.", "WENDELL: I don't get you people. I'd like to work here but it's like a minefield. Too many ways to step wrong.", "ANGELA: I admit, it takes some getting used to. Good luck. [Exit ANGELA]", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab, Platform)", "CAM: It wasn't blood. On the shovel, it wasn't blood.", "BOOTH: Bones' magic juice didn't work.", "BRENNAN: No, phenolphthalein is not magic.", "HODGINS: It's an indicator that reacts with-", "WENDELL: -Potato protein.", "ANGELA: Potatoes?", "HODGINS: Yeah, fenalphaline turns pink in the presence of potatoes.", "BOOTH: I locked the guy up because of potatoes.", "BRENNAN: He might have done it, Booth. But we all know that without the victim's head we aren't likely to solve this murder.", "HODGINS: Well maybe Wendell here missed something in the bones.", "WENDELL: I didn't.", "ANGELA: Don't blame Wendell; he's doing very well.", "HODGINS: I just wish Zack were here, that's all.", "BOOTH: You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back.", "ZACK: I know where to find the victim's head.", "CAM: (Beat.) This is not good.", "BRENNAN: How did you get out?", "ZACK: You don't appear happy to see me.", "BOOTH: Oh, we're not.", "BRENNAN: Well I am! I really am! Zack!", "HODGINS: Hey buddy!", "CAM: Well I doubt he got a weekend pass.", "BOOTH: Zack, how'd you get out?", "ZACK: Doctor Sweets helped me.", "ANGELA: Oh well then I totally change my mind about Sweets. I now love him.", "CAM: Does Doctor Sweets know that he helped you?", "ZACK: No. (To BRENNAN) You're hurting my arm.", "BRENNAN: Oh, sorry.", "BOOTH: Alright Zack, you're with me and Bones. The rest of you, go play with your microscopes or whatever it is you do. Let's go, Bone Room, now. March.", "BRENNAN: Come on.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab Bone Room)", "ZACK: Everything in the room is organized in sets of twelve. A dozen shoes in the closet, a dozen action figures on the shelf, a dozen pencils in the pencil holder. Even books are grouped by the dozen.", "BOOTH AND BRENNAN (simultaneously): I should have noticed that.", "BRENNAN: Sets of twelve must be a manifestation of Jared Addison's OCD.", "ZACK: I did an analysis of his novels. There's no recurring sets of numbers. Only recurring images of germs and fear of microbes.", "BOOTH: Okay then what is with the number twelve.", "ZACK: They live at twelve kindergarten street. Kindergarten has twelve letters. Alphanumeric is also a twelve letter word by the way, but I suspect that's just ironic.", "BOOTH: Okay, this side of him? I don't miss at all.", "ZACK: Books, CDs, everything. It's always twelve. In the yard, everything comes in twelve. Paving stones, plants. Decorative rocks, gnomes. Always twelve.", "BOOTH: Oh.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Well Jared Addison wouldn't have been gardening - he's germaphobic.", "ZACK: Even his name - Jared Addison. Twelve letters.", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Well he didn't name himself, his mother did.", "BOOTH: His mother has OCD too?", "ZACK: That's the most reasonable conclusion.", "BOOTH: But the body was found in twelve pieces not counting the head. Why?", "(Enter SWEETS)", "SWEETS: The incomplete saw marks on the C2 vertebra were hesitation marks. She couldn't deal with the part of the body that was her child's face. You. You used me to escape? (ZACK nods.) How?", "ZACK: Your card.", "BOOTH: Sweets, one crime at a time - murder first. Okay, why'd she kill her son?", "SWEETS: He was overcoming his disorder. Jared Addison was ready to take control of his professional life. He'd found love, and was ready to leave her house. It wasn't just his patterns he was destroying. It was hers. And as a result, she suffered a psychotic break and murdered her own child. (Beat.) You know, I still have my card.", "ZACK: I swapped out the magnetic strip, with loony bin library card.", "SWEETS: Wait, that's why it didn't work?", "BOOTH: Zack. Where is Jared's head?", "ZACK: Everything comes in twelves. Everything, except for this. (He points at a birdbath.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Montage. Set Free by Katie Gray plays. Ext. JARED ADDISON's house. Booth serves a warrant to MRS ADDISON, FBI swarm the yard. Cut to Int. Crown Diner. HODGINS, ANGELA, CAM and ZACK sit in a booth talking and laughing inaudibly. Cut to Ext. JARED ADDISON's house. The birdbath is dug up. Cut to Ext. McKinley Psychiatric Hospital. SWEETS paces and looks at his watch. Cut to Int. Crown Diner. The team continue to enjoy ZACK's presence. Cut to Int. Medico-Legal Lab, platform. WENDELL walks down the steps. Stops. Glances back. Continues. Cut to Ext. JARED ADDISON's house. A box is recovered. On the lid are the words 'Jared Addison'. Inside is the skull of Jared Addison. Cut to Int. Crown Diner.)", "CAM: Well, Zack was right.", "ANGELA: Of course he was.", "CAM: As always.", "ZACK: Time to go. (Beat. He rises.) I should get back.", "CAM: Okay.", "HODGINS: Okay.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Ext. McKinley Psychiatric Hospital. BOOTH and ZACK arrive outside the gates in an SUV.)", "BOOTH: Okay. Yeah, come on, let's go. Come on, easy.", "SWEETS: What took so long?", "BOOTH: Relax, Sweets, okay? He's all yours.", "SWEETS: Wait, ah, I thought we'd do this together.", "BOOTH: Look, just walk him back through the front door okay. Don't look guilty, and if anyone asks, you took him for electroshock. Alright? (to ZACK) Don't. Escape. Again. You got it Zack? You figure out who a killer is, you call me or Doctor Brennan. (Beat.) Not Sweets. Alright? (Beat.) Yeah.", "SWEETS: Wait. What if he... I don't know, what if he overpowers me or...", "BOOTH: ...Zack?", "ZACK: I'm much stronger than I look.", "SWEETS: He's done it before. He killed a man.", "BOOTH: Okay, Zack, promise you're not going to kill Sweets.", "ZACK: I promise.", "BOOTH: There you go.", "SWEETS: Yeah. Yeah.", "BOOTH: There you go! I've got great seats to the Capitals. (Exit BOOTH.)", "SWEETS: If we bump into anybody, let me do the talking.", "ZACK: I haven't actually literally done it before, you know.", "SWEETS: Had s*x?", "ZACK: Ended someone's life. Why doesn't anyone ever believe I've had s*x?", "SWEETS: (Beat.) Y-you confessed to plunging a knife into a man's chest.", "ZACK: No, I said I killed him. Which I did - I told the Master where to find the man.", "SWEETS: But you didn't... plunge a knife into the man's chest?", "ZACK: It wasn't me.", "SWEETS: Zack! Why did you confess?", "ZACK: I would've done it. If the Master had asked, I would have done it.", "SWEETS: No, no, you don't know that. People have no idea if they're capable of ending a life until they're put in that situation. (Beat.) In all of our sessions, I've had question marks because you, at heart, are not a killer. I gotta, I gotta tell Doctor Brennan (he punches a number into a cell phone) and Booth.", "ZACK: You can't tell them, because I'm your patient, and you're not allowed. Ethically.", "SWEETS: Zack, don't you want your friends to know that you didn't kill anyone?", "ZACK: I'm still an accessory to murder. If you tell them, they'll take me out of here and put me in prison. Hodgins assures me I would not do well in prison.", "SWEETS: Okay, what about the person that actually did commit the murder? He's still out there.", "ZACK: No, the Master killed him, so he could recruit me. There could only ever be two.", "SWEETS: You have to let me tell the truth.", "ZACK: You can't tell anyone without my permission. (Beat. SWEETS nods.) We should go in. I don't want to get you into trouble. (Exit ZACK. SWEETS sighs. Exit SWEETS.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab, BRENNAN's office. She drops leafs of paper into a garbage can.)", "(Enter BOOTH.)", "BOOTH: What are you doing?", "BRENNAN: Throwing out my book.", "BOOTH: It's still on your hard-drive, right?", "BRENNAN: Nope, not any more it's not.", "BOOTH: You erased it?!", "BRENNAN: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Woah. Woah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.", "BRENNAN: But I don't want to be a writer any more.", "BOOTH: Oh, why? Because of what that publisher said? He was an idiot, did you see his glasses?", "BRENNAN: But I don't wanna be a sexy scientist.", "BOOTH: Well that's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are. (He reaches down to pull out the pages.) Oh god, this is just. This it not good for the back. (Beat.) Suspenseful, and chilling. Temperance Brennan leads the pack. Anthropology has never been more exciting.", "BRENNAN: You memorized my reviews?", "BOOTH: Angela can scan these, and get them back on your computer.", "BRENNAN: You know my reviews, Booth, but do you read my books?", "BOOTH: Every single word.", "BRENNAN: You never said anything.", "BOOTH: Well I figure you know, I'm all over your real world, why would you want me in your fantasy world too? (He offers her the manuscript. After a pause, she takes it.)", "BRENNAN: I can appreciate that.", "BOOTH: You see? How this works, huh? It's give and take. We're partners, huh?", "BRENNAN: Except you won't let me fix your back.", "BOOTH: Oh, come on, my back is fine, it's just-", "BRENNAN: (Stands) Oh really?", "BOOTH: Ohnohah. Okay, how do I know you're not gonna like, paralyze me or make it worse?", "BRENNAN: I also help you by explaining a lot of things to you. (She stands behind him.)", "BOOTH: Yeah, well you know, I explain things to you just as much as you explain things to me. (BRENNAN winds her arms under BOOTH's shoulders and places her hands on the back of his neck.)", "BRENNAN: Well, my things are more important. (She pulls back.)", "BOOTH: That's debatable, WOAH. OW.", "BRENNAN: Ah, necessary pain.", "BOOTH: Yeah, necessary. Ah, the way you really help me is, is, you let me be a guy. (BRENNAN rotates him.)", "BRENNAN: I help you be a guy?", "BOOTH: Yeah, you know, it's a guy's thing to fix things and make them right. When I fix things I feel like I am one with the universe. (BRENNAN hooks him below the spine.) Oh! Ah. Woah! God! That's amazing. How'd you do that?", "BRENNAN: See? We help each other. Quid pro quo.", "BOOTH: I know what that means, quid pro quo.", "BRENNAN: I'm sure you do.", "BOOTH: I know a lot of things.", "BRENNAN: Well, you didn't know what misophobia meant.", "BOOTH: Well you didn't know that you could just take coffee grounds because it's garbage; you don't need a warrant for that.", "BRENNAN: I sort of knew that, I just was making sure that that was.." ]

[ "The remains of a despised office manager are discovered in an elevator shaft, and Booth and Brennan must figure out which employee killed her. After some investigating, they find that the manager had more than a fair share of complaints on file. Meanwhile, Angela and Hodgins try to make peace in the lab after their break-up." ]

[ "\"The Crank in the Shaft\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: Several people are waiting to get into an elevator. It arrives, the doors open and they flood in.)", "VOICE #1: Excuse me.", "VOICE#2: Excuse me.", "VOICE#3: Six, please.", "VOICE#4: He got it.", "(A man pushes a button again.)", "VOICE #5: Somebody already pushed it.", "(Hamid Hirani approaches the elevator and sticks his arm between the doors as they start to close. He steps inside.)", "HAMID: Sorry about that.", "(The doors close and Hamid takes a drink of a coffee he apparently purchased outside of work. Chip Yap notices and comments.)", "CHIP: Is our coffee machine still broken?", "HAMID: It was on Friday and I couldn't chance it.", "CHRISTINE GERTIN: Well, I filled out a 1612 repair authorization for office equipment under two hundred dollars, but I never heard back.", "(Ted Russo has ear buds in his ears, apparently listening to music.)", "TED: Man, this guitar is bitchin'.", "(The elevator opens and a few people leave.)", "VOICE #1: Sorry.", "VOICE #2: Excuse me.", "(Gary Flannery looks back at Chip.)", "GARY: How's the third quarter P&L?", "CHIP: I processed a stack of orders and returns with Patty on Friday. She was still reviewing them when I left.", "(Hamid takes another drink of coffee and everyone in the elevator begins sniffing, as if they smell something foul. They look at each other accusingly and then the elevator begins to shake and the lights flicker.)", "CHRISTINE: Oh my God, what's going on?", "(The elevator begins to fall rapidly and then comes to an abrupt stop. The ceiling tiles fall and a human leg wearing a high heel on its foot falls to the ground. Everyone looks sick.)", "(Cut to: Dr. Lance Sweet's office at the FBI Building. Special Agent Seeley Booth and Dr. Temperance Brennan are sitting on the couch across from Sweets and Booth's leg is bouncing up and down repeatedly.)", "SWEETS: The conscious mind represents only one-sixth of our brain's activity. Now, I want you to both appreciate the power of the subconscious and our quests for its secrets as we...", "BRENNAN: Stop!", "SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, you can't dismiss over a hundred years of psychological research.", "BRENNAN: I'm not even actually listening. (She brings her hand down on his knee to stop him from bouncing it. He then bounces the other and she puts her hand on that one, too.) Your leg has not stopped moving since we started this session. (To Sweets.) Something you should have noticed.", "SWEETS: I assumed he was anxious to leave, as he is every session.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, that's not it. Okay, a guy at work, Special Agent Graham Kelton died last week.", "SWEETS: I'm so sorry.", "BRENNAN: That's awful, Booth. Were you good friends?", "BOOTH: No, he was a creep.", "SWEETS: Oh. So, then your agitation comes from...?", "BOOTH: Kelton had the best desk chair in the office building, alright? Lumbar support, cushioned arms, Macintosh oak finish.", "SWEETS: And?", "BOOTH: And I want it. I put a request in, but so have all the other agents. I mean, this is one sweet chair.", "BRENNAN: You are anxious that you won't get a dead man's chair?", "BOOTH: Right. Mine, it won't even recline anymore. Get this: Charlie Baron, okay, he'd been putting a request in to Human Resources even when Kelton was on his deathbed. Alright, is that low or what? Hey, Bones, maybe you can write me a doctor's note saying that I need the chair.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Yeah, something along the lines, that I got, like, a bad back, and the extra lumbar support could enhance my job performance.", "BRENNAN: I'm not a medical doctor.", "(Booth looks to Sweets.)", "SWEETS: The answer's no. You're obviously trying to enhance your status with your coworkers by acquiring something that they all covet.", "BRENNAN: You want a throne.", "BOOTH: Back support, okay? I'm just looking for a little back support.", "SWEETS: Perhaps you've been feeling inadequate at work lately. Compensating in this...", "(Booth's phone ring and he answers it.)", "BOOTH: Booth. Right, be right there. Well, got a case. See ya!", "BRENNAN: (Stands with Booth.) Okay.", "SWEETS: (As Booth and Brennan are leaving.) Agent Booth, I really think that we're touching on something important...", "BRENNAN: Thank you. (She shuts the door and they both exit.)", "(Sweets sits back in his chair with a sigh, and then appears to be testing the back support of his own chair.)", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan are walking toward the office building where the leg was found.)", "BOOTH: If I could help you get a better chair, I would.", "BRENNAN: Thank you, but if I wanted a better office chair, I'd just buy one myself.", "BOOTH: No, no, that's not how it works, Bones. When you work for The Man he buys all the office furniture.", "BRENNAN: Which man?", "BOOTH: You're kidding me, right? There's no actual man.", "BRENNAN: Then who buys the office furniture?", "BOOTH: Never mind, Bones. Just never mind.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan cutting their way through a crowd of people to the elevator where Dr. Cam Saroyan is already examining the leg.)", "BOOTH: Excuse us.", "BRENNAN: Sorry. So sorry.", "BOOTH: Coming through, that's it. Watch out. Whoa, whoa. Look at that. Hey Cam, you're a real doctor. Maybe you could, do a pal a favor and write me a note for my back.", "CAM: The chair?", "BOOTH: Well, yeah, this is a chance for you to be, um, creative.", "(Brennan steps into the elevator with Cam.)", "BRENNAN: Tell us about the leg.", "CAM: Given the pump, female victim. The skin elasticity, what's left of it, indicates she was probably between twenty and forty years old.", "BRENNAN: Striations on the bone suggests the flesh was scraped away.", "CAM: And the remaining soft tissue appears to have been scavenged.", "(Hamid takes a picture of Brennan and Cam with his camera phone.)", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you thinkin'? Huh? A little respect.", "HAMID: I wasn't taking a photo of the leg. I was taking her picture. (To Cam.) You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in the elevator.", "BOOTH: Back up there. (To the security guards.) Take-take him out of here. Take care of him.", "BRENNAN: (Laughing.) Did you find anything besides the leg?", "(Cam points up.)", "(Cut to: The elevator shaft, Brennan and Cam are standing on top of the elevator and Booth pops his head up through the trap door.)", "BRENNAN: The remains are smeared along the entire length of the hoist way.", "BOOTH: Oh. Oh wow. God, that, that's nasty.", "CAM: I'm gonna need a spatula to scrape off all the flesh and the organs.", "BRENNAN: The bones are in hundreds of pieces. I want them bagged.", "CAM: Judging from the amount of putrefactive liquid on top of the car, she landed here first, wedging up against the shaft.", "BOOTH: So when it went up and down, she... Oh, that's not good. That's bad. That's not good. (He disappears down the trap door.)", "CAM: I don't see any hemorrhagic tissue. Victim was most likely dead before she was put in here.", "BRENNAN: Well, fracturing indicates she was dropped from quite a height.", "(Cam and Brennan sweep the beams of their flashlights up the shaft for quite a ways.)", "(Cut to: Building Manager Stan Nokes leading Booth, Brennan and Cam toward the machine room on the roof of the building.)", "NOKES: It's the machine room. It has the control system for the elevator.", "BOOTH: Who has access to this room?", "NOKES: Only maintenance, but they only unlock it when the elevator is serviced.", "BOOTH: (Knocks the door open with his elbow.) Lock's been jimmied.", "NOKES: I don't know how this happened. I run a safe building.", "CAM: Right, except for the mangled dead woman.", "(Cam, Brennan, Booth and Nokes enter the machine room.)", "NOKES: It's the first unit. Those cables raise and lower the cars.", "BOOTH: (Pulls a grate up from a small opening in the floor.) Look at this. Okay. So you think the victim's body could have been, you know, pushed down there?", "CAM: It's pretty small. But I've seen bodies carried down storm drains narrower than that.", "BRENNAN: Who tries to hide a body by throwing it down an elevator shaft?", "BOOTH: (Looks down and sees the butt of a marijuana joint.) Ah-hah, someone who's toasted.", "CAM: (Pulls a pair of tweezers from her utility belt and leans down to pick up the joint.) A joint, huh. I can get DNA from the paper.", "BRENNAN: Marijuana doesn't make you a killer.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well it makes you stupid.", "CAM: Stupid enough to jam someone down an elevator shaft?", "ACT ONE", "(Open: Medico-Legal Lab Platform. Dr. Jack Hodgins and the newest intern, Colin Fisher are on the platform, Fisher is pushing a cart full of brown paper bags marked with evidence tape.)", "FISHER: Sad. Woman's whole life reduced to a bunch of glorified sandwich bags.", "HODGINS: Not the woman's life, Fisher, just her body. Big difference.", "FISHER: Whatever gets you through the day.", "(Cam enters.)", "CAM: What have we got?", "HODGINS: Her clothes are shredded and covered in particulates. Still sorting through it all. I'm pulling traces to run through the GC Mass Spec.", "CAM: Well, I've got the when. (Walks over to a computer and pulls up some information.) Vitreous humor from an eyeball confirms time of death sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning. And, her final meal was lettuce, yogurt, chicken and pita.", "HODGINS: A gyro.", "CAM: Most likely. I've got them checking Greek restaurants in the neighborhood. Maybe someone made a delivery to her office.", "FISHER: Dead before the fall. Wish we knew how she died.", "CAM: Tox screen came back negative. No drugs, no poison, not even caffeine.", "HODGINS: So, ball's in your court, Fisher.", "FISHER: Dr. Brennan left me with exactly one thousand, two-hundred and sixty-three bone fragments, each one screaming pain, violence and hopelessness. So how about cutting me a little slack?", "CAM: The job gets easier with time, Mr. Fisher. Any leads on who she is?", "FISHER: The hot chick is doing a sketch from the few pieces of skull I could locate and reconstruct.", "CAM: Hot chick?", "FISHER: Sorry. The other hot chick.", "HODGINS: (Pulls a bow from the pieces of evidence on an exam table.) It's a bow. With hair. It's brown. Natural colors. (He holds it out to Cam who just looks at it.) It might help Angela with her sketch.", "CAM: Right. You should give it to her.", "HODGINS: I'm kind of busy.", "CAM: And I'm kind of your boss.", "(Hodgins exits.)", "CAM: Anything else, Mr. Fisher?", "FISHER: I also found hairline impact fissures on the lateral epicondyle.", "CAM: And?", "FISHER: My grad thesis explored the effect of falls on human bone. I got the idea at my summer job.", "CAM: I'm afraid to ask.", "FISHER: Suicide hotline.", "CAM: Were you... for or against?", "(Cut to: Angela Montenegro's office. Angela is sitting in a chair with a dummy in front of her with pieces of a skull attached to it. Hodgins is bringing the bow to her.)", "HODGINS: Hey, I got a bow for you.", "ANGELA: Look, Hodgins, we both decided it's over. I don't want any gifts.", "HODGINS: Um, the bow's from the victim.", "ANGELA: Oh, right. Sorry. That's helpful, that bow.", "HODGINS: How's it coming?", "ANGELA: Well, according to my sketch, the victim was a model for Picasso.", "HODGINS: (Laughs) Like it.", "ANGELA: Mr. Cheerful is putting more pieces together for me.", "HODGINS: That's a good idea. Just so you know, I'm cool. You and I, we work together, and... and that's it.", "ANGELA: Great. We're two professionals.", "HODGINS: Yep, two professionals.", "ANGELA: I should finish this, 'cause this is...", "HODGINS: Yeah, yeah, you know, and I've got lots to do. I mean, lots. So...okay.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(Cut to: Fisher and Cam on the platform.)", "FISHER: From the impact fissures, I'd estimate her fall was from at least sixty meters.", "CAM: Okay, first of all, I doubt even Dr. Brennan could discover that from impact fissures alone.", "FISHER: My thesis got me here. Ask her.", "CAM: And second, that doesn't indicate what floor she fell from 'cause the elevator car could have been on any floor in the building when she landed on it.", "FISHER: But since it's a sixteen story building, at about ten feet per floor...", "CAM: Eleven or twelve if you count the space between floors.", "FISHER: Right. That's 252 feet. That gives us 76.8 meters, a difference of about 17 meters. That's...", "CAM: Fifty-two feet.", "FISHER: Meaning she had to fall from the top floor or the machine room above it.", "CAM: Very impressive, Mr. Fisher.", "FISHER: Well, I'll still end up like her one day.", "CAM: You ever think of finding a girlfriend, Mr. Fisher?", "FISHER: I've got one. Jill. (He pulls out his wallet and shows Cam a picture of Jill)", "CAM: She's very beautiful.", "FISHER: Yes. Now.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan walking down a hall in the office building conversing.)", "BOOTH: Patty Hoyle, she's one of the people who didn't check into the building.", "BRENNAN: Angela's sketch matches the picture on her ID card. Wait, so Cam is actually going to write you a letter so you can get the chair?", "BOOTH: That's right. She understands how the game is played.", "BRENNAN: She worked for the same man as you.", "BOOTH: That's right.", "BRENNAN: The man who doesn't exist.", "BOOTH: Wow. Can you imagine working in a place like this?", "BRENNAN: No. It's not sterile, and there's no room for diagnostic equipment or sufficient bone storage.", "BOOTH: Bones, I meant the little cubicles. Look, they look like caged animals.", "BRENNAN: Throughout history, you can find examples of human beings adapting to virtually any environment. Like you and the chair.", "BOOTH: Me? You're way off base.", "(They come to Christine's desk and she is answering multiple phone lines and putting them on hold.)", "CHRISTINE: Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please. Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please. Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please. Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please.", "(Booth pulls out his badge and flashes it at her. She stops answering the phone.)", "BOOTH: Thank you.", "CHRISTINE: Did you find out who it was? The whole building's been wondering. I was there, you know, in the elevator. It was horrible.", "BOOTH: Slow down, okay? (He pulls out the badge of Patty Hoyle and shows it to Christine.) Did this woman show up for work?", "CHRISTINE: Oh, Patty. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Patty? Really? It's Patty, Chip. It was Patty in the elevator.", "(Chip walks over from a nearby cubicle.)", "CHIP: Oh, man.", "BRENNAN: We still have to verify identity with dental records.", "CHIP: Hey, everybody?", "CHRISTINE: Oh, my God.", "CHIP: It was Patty.", "(Hamid stands up.)", "HAMID: No, not Patty. Pretty Patty?", "BOOTH: Could you just keep it quiet, please?", "(Gary steps out of a door and looks around.)", "GARY: What's going on? What about Patty?", "(Cut to: Patty's cubicle. Gary is showing them her desk.)", "GARY: This is Patty's area, right over here. Patty decorated the place herself. Even painted the frogs.", "BOOTH: Lot of frogs.", "GARY: Well, she was just that kind of person.", "BRENNAN: One who was adjusted to an impersonal workplace. Nice chair.", "BOOTH: We're going to have to look in her computer.", "GARY: Whatever you need. It's all company property. I can get you the password.", "BRENNAN: So you saw her last Friday?", "GARY: She was still here when I left, yeah. Working late as usual. She...she was the best office manager you can imagine.", "BRENNAN: See? Booth? Some people accept their position as a drone.", "BOOTH: Are you calling me a drone?", "BRENNAN: It's not a pejorative statement, without the drones, the hive would die.", "BOOTH: Anyone else wok here late?", "GARY: Are you kidding? I mean , when that clock hits 6:00, it's like the running of the bulls, especially on Friday.", "BOOTH: Did Patty have any enemies?", "GARY: Well, we all have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.", "BOOTH: Do you know if she caught any of your employees smoking marijuana?", "GARY: Marijuana? No.", "BOOTH: So, no history of drug use here?", "GARY: Ted Russo was arrested last year for smoking pot at a concert in the park, but he is a good worker. He promised me he hasn't touched the stuff since.", "(Cut to: Employee break room where Ted is making a peanut butter and berry loops sandwich. Booth and Brennan enter to question him with Gary.)", "GARY: Ted?", "TED: (Mouth full) Yeah? Well, hey, what's up?", "GARY: Ted, the leg found in the elevator? It was Patty.", "TED: Oh, dude.", "GARY: Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan would like to ask you a few questions.", "BOOTH: Hi, Ted. (Ted stands) We found the remnants of a joint in the room where Patty could have been pushed into the elevator shaft.", "TED: I don't smoke, man. Yeah, my eyes look like this cause I have allergies. (Sniffs)", "BRENNAN: We pulled DNA from the saliva on the cigarette paper.", "TED: Really?", "BRENNAN: Mmmhmm. And we can get a court order to take a sample from you.", "(He looks back and forth between Booth and Brennan. Booth nods at him.)", "TED: All right, sure. I smoke a little weed. Wouldn't you? Locked up in these veal pens all day, you know, collating invoices. I'm an artist, man. But my dad cut me off, so without this place I'd starve to death.", "BOOTH: What happened Ted? Patty catch you? Threaten to fire you and you killed her? Ted, if you think these cubicles are small, wait til you see the inside of a cell, pal.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation Room. Booth is questioning Ted further.)", "TED: How many times do I have to say it? I didn't kill Patty.", "BOOTH: Would you call her a friend?", "TED: She was the office manager, man. Eyes always on me, you know? (Imitates Patty's voice) \"Why are you using so many envelopes, Russo?\" \"Gee, like, maybe 'cause I'm sending out letters?\" But I didn't kill her.", "BOOTH: Did you think she was a bitch?", "TED: What?", "BOOTH: Right there, you see that? (Booth pulls out a picture of a red car with the word \"BITCH\" carved into the side) That's Patty's car. \"Bitch\" Is that an example of your artwork?", "TED: No, I didn't do that.", "BOOTH: We found your roach in the elevator machine room, where we also found parts of Patty's body crushed in the hoist way. We found two weeks worth of invoices that you hadn't completed. Maybe Patty caught you, you keyed her car, you went back to the machine room for a quick toke and to chill. Patty walks in on you, she catches you, threatens your job...You kill her.", "TED: Dude, you are so off base.", "BOOTH: Let me have your keys.", "TED: Why?", "BOOTH: Is that a \"no\"? 'Cause I'll just go get a court order.", "(Ted hands over his keys.)", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that. Thanks for your cooperation. That wasn't too hard.", "ACT TWO", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, Brennan's office. Brennan is looking at fragments of bone on her computer. Angela walks in.)", "BRENNAN: That depressed intern is quite clever. His analysis of the impact fissures supports Booth's theory of where the body was dropped.", "ANGELA: Great. I don't know how to act around Hodgins.", "BRENNAN: I beg your pardon?", "ANGELA: We just ended a relationship that was intense, both emotionally and sexually. (Sits down in a chair across from Brennan's desk.) Now rather than intense we're just... plain tense. We don't look at each other, everything is fraught with meaning. (Brennan stares at her, not saying anything.) Brennan, you're supposed to say something.", "BRENNAN: Oh, I'm sorry. What am I supposed to say?", "ANGELA: Something that will make me feel better.", "BRENNAN: Oh, huh. Um, well, both Hodgins and you mean a lot to me, but since you're my best friend, I...I guess I could fire Hodgins.", "ANGELA: What? No. Huh? I...I don't want you to fire him.", "BRENNAN: That's good, cause I would have disliked doing that.", "ANGELA: Yeah, of course. Thank you, though, for the offer. It was...it was very sweet.", "BRENNAN: So, I helped?", "ANGELA: Oh, absolutely, sweetie. Thank you, it was... (gives her a thumbs up. Brennan looks pleased with herself.)", "(Cut to: An exam room at the Medico-Legal Lab. Booth walks in looking for Cam.)", "BOOTH: Cam? Hi, listen, I appreciate the doctor's note, but you can't send it in.", "CAM: Too late, that's just a copy.", "BOOTH: This note, it makes me sound like an invalid.", "CAM: You want the chair, don't you?", "BOOTH: No, I want to keep my job. Hello? \"Agent Booth suffers from multi-level disc disease with herniation of the L4-5 disc, producing rad-i-cu-ular...\"", "CAM: Radicular.", "BOOTH: \"...radicular pain in a sciatic distribution.\" This letter is going to get me a gurney, not a chair.", "CAM: I'm a coroner. Tell them... I confused you with a corpse.", "BOOTH: Am I the only one taking this seriously?", "CAM: You are now. (Booth exits.) You're welcome.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab platform. Hodgins is working at a computer and Fisher walks over to speak with him.)", "FISHER: You look bummed.", "HODGINS: What? No. It's just... sometimes answers pose more questions than they answer.", "FISHER: Thus the melancholy.", "HODGINS: Did you discover cause of death yet?", "FISHER: Life, man. Life is always the cause of death.", "HODGINS: Okay, now you're just a tool. Why are you here?", "FISHER: Well, I was hoping you could maybe give me a little inspiration, being a mentor and all.", "HODGINS: All I have are the facts, man. Initial particulate analysis shows a thin layer of styrene acrylate copolymer on her sweater. It's copier toner.", "FISHER: She worked in an office. She probably got dirty changing a cartridge.", "HODGINS: She was an office manager wearing a cashmere sweater. I doubt changing the cartridge was her responsibility, not to mention, the toner dust was all over her front and back.", "FISHER: Very cool. She probably spent a little time rolling around the copy room floor.", "HODGINS: Huh.", "FISHER: Anything else?", "HODGINS: Yeah. Yeah, there were some stains on different sweater fragments consisting of hesperic acid, ascorbic acid, citrus sinensis, furfural, proteolytic enzyme, alcohol, triarylmethane dye, a.k.a. Brilliant Blue. It's a food coloring.", "FISHER: Do you think the stain is relevant to the case?", "HODGINS: Before I can answer that, I need to know what it is.", "FISHER: I get it. We live our lives in the darkness, hoping for sun that seldom shines...", "HODGINS: Go away, Fisher.", "(Fisher exits.)", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan walking through the office building while conversing.)", "BOOTH: Forensics analyzed Ted Russo's keys, all right. There's no evidence of red paint transfer from keying the car.", "BRENNAN: This is a very efficient workspace, don't you think? It affords a minimum amount of human interaction so the workers can concentrate solely on productivity.", "BOOTH: It's demoralizing. Don't look at me like that. I'm not some kind of a drone.", "BRENNAN: You have superiors to whom you must report, protocols you must follow. All of your actions are documented and reviewed.", "BOOTH: Look, I do not work for some faceless bureaucracy, okay? I work for the United States Government, and so do you, which makes you a drone, too.", "BRENNAN: No. No, I'm a completely independent contractor operating out of the Jeffersonian. In the hive, I would be the queen bee.", "BOOTH: Still in a hive.", "BRENNAN: In which I am the queen.", "(Cut to: Copy room where FBI Forensic Tech Marcus Geier is already examining the area.)", "BOOTH: Okay, what do we got?", "GEIER: We found dried toner in a section of the floor and fabric threads that might match the victim's clothes.", "(Booth opens his mouth to speak, but Brennan beats him to it.)", "BRENNAN: Send them all to Dr. Hodgins at the Jeffersonian.", "BOOTH: (Stage whisper.) Says the queen bee.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Nothing.", "BRENNAN: Use the ALS in this area. Booth, the light.", "BOOTH: (Booth turns off the lights) I'll tell you what, I'm going to be the king bee in my department.", "BRENNAN: There's no such thing as a king bee.", "BOOTH: Sure there is. And he is going to have the finest chair in the hive.", "(The ALS shows staining on the carpet.)", "BRENNAN: This area might also have staining that could help Hodgins identify what else was on the victim's clothes. Remove this section of carpet and send it to the lab.", "BOOTH: What is it?", "BRENNAN: I'm not sure. Cam and Hodgins will have to check it. The lights.", "BOOTH: Yeah, yeah. (Booth walks over to turn the lights on while his phone rings. He answers.) Booth. Right. Just send it to my phone right away.", "BRENNAN: What's going on?", "BOOTH: Computer Forensics, they went through the victim's hard drive. Seems that she got a really angry e-mail last week. It's from somebody who works here: Dave Farfield. \"You self-entitled bitch. You are done playing with me. You'll pay. Trust me. Love and Kisses, Dave.\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Gary's office, Booth and Brennan are asking him questions.)", "BRENNAN: Do you have an employee named Dave Farfield?", "GARY: Yes. Well, actually, no.", "BOOTH: Okay, which is it?", "GARY: Well, Dave worked her for eight years, but he was let go last Thursday.", "BOOTH: You fired him?", "GARY: That's right. Oh, God...", "BRENNAN: What?", "GARY: Well, it was Patty. She told me that Dave was a problem: disruptive, not doing his work.", "BOOTH: So, it was Patty who got him fired?", "GARY: She showed me an inflammatory e-mail that he wrote to her, and I agreed with Patty, it wasn't right.", "BRENNAN: And Dave knew he was fired because of Patty?", "GARY: Yes. Oh, my.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation room, Booth is interrogating Dave Farfield. He puts a picture of Patty's car down in front of him.)", "DAVE: I don't get it. Keying someone's car is a federal offense now?", "BOOTH: So you admit you did it?", "DAVE: No. But did you ever meet Patty? Someone was just accurately describing her. (Picks up the picture and hands it back to Booth.) I mean, what other kind of person would call the FBI because she had her car keyed?", "BOOTH: Patty's dead, Dave.", "DAVE: Whoa, wait a second. Is that why I'm here? (Booth holds the picture up again.) Okay, look, sir... I admit that I keyed her car, but she purposely parked across the line so I couldn't get into my space. I mean, every day, I would have to squeeze the car in. I scratched the whole side of my Corolla. And that car was cherry.", "BOOTH: You hated her.", "DAVE: She got me fired because I turned her into the parking guards, but it's not like I'm the only one that didn't like her.", "BOOTH: Your coworkers seemed to like her.", "DAVE: No, no, she drove us all crazy. She docked Hamid's pay one time because he put too much half and half in his coffee. And then she had me reported for excessive use of the Internet, and I was the IT guy.", "BOOTH: So where were you Friday night, Dave?", "DAVE: I was at Paradise Isle. I met Chip over there.", "BOOTH: Chip?", "DAVE: Chip's a guy from work. I got a little tanked, I bitched about getting fired. Chip drove me home, 'cause like I said, I got a little tanked, but I was home before eight.", "BOOTH: You got an alibi after that?", "DAVE: I was online. I was online playing Knights of Atlantis. You can check the log or ask... Thrustkiller278 or Donnerparty819.", "BOOTH: Right.", "ACT THREE", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab platform. Patty's skeleton is laid out on a lighted exam table. Cam and Fisher are talking about the damage done to the body.)", "FISHER: Her body sustained severe postmortem damage: comminuted crush fractures of the upper and lower extremities, burst fractures of the thoracic and lumbar vertebrae, and shearing of the spinous processes.", "CAM: Your reconstruction looks good.", "FISHER: It's incomplete. I suck.", "CAM: This woman was mulched in an elevator shaft. Given her condition, I'm impressed with your work. Come on, Mr. Fisher, let me see a little smile. (Fisher gives her a deadpan expression.) That's the ticket.", "FISHER: I also found incomplete bilateral compression fractures of ribs R3 to R11. There's inward deformation to the lateral aspects. Curve patterns are consistent with the outer edge of a shoe.", "CAM: I looked at several sections of the epidermis from the area of patterned abrasions, didn't find any hemorrhage in the soft tissue.", "FISHER: So she was stomped postmortem. Why stomp on someone when they're already dead?", "CAM: Good question. And I have another. Did you figure out cause of death, yet?", "FISHER: I told you, man, I suck.", "CAM: Buck up, Mr. Fisher. You give me cause of death, I give you a Kierkegaard t-shirt.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Sweets is sitting at a table reading a paper. Angela sits down in the chair across from him.)", "ANGELA: Hey!", "SWEETS: Hello.", "ANGELA: Fries look good.", "SWEETS: You want some?", "ANGELA: If you don't want them. So, I need some advice.", "SWEETS: I have office hours, Ms. Montenegro. This is ...", "ANGELA: How do I deal with Hodgins? I mean, we broke up so I just want it to be over with so I can get back to work without all this unspoken drama, you know what I'm saying?", "SWEETS: Uh huh, uh huh. First, I think it's important to find out what went wrong, why you were involved in an unsuccessful relationship.", "ANGELA: Who says it was unsuccessful?", "SWEETS: You're not together anymore, are you?", "ANGELA: Do you love your parents?", "SWEETS: Yes.", "ANGELA: But you don't live together anymore. Does that mean your relationship with Mom and Dad was unsuccessful?", "SWEETS: I don't think it's the same.", "ANGELA: I do. Sometimes you have to move on, whatever your feelings.", "SWEETS: When we create intimate sexual relationships, and if the relationship isn't functioning the way it should, one is left with anxiety and confusion that will remain until dealt with.", "ANGELA: Okay. So let's deal with it.", "SWEETS: No, it's going to take longer than us sitting here for a few minutes. We need to find out why you were attracted to him in the first place.", "ANGELA: He has kind eyes, great sense of humor, cute ass. He does this thing where...", "SWEETS: No. No. Um, I meant what are those things in your past that have led you to Dr. Hodgins and what he represents to you as an archetype. You know what? I'm going to look at my schedule, but we should probably start by meeting twice a week.", "ANGELA: No. I think I'm okay.", "SWEETS: Therapy can't be rushed.", "ANGELA: Look, Sweets, the way I look at it, if I'm shot by an arrow, I-I don't need to know where the arrow was made, or what kind of bow it came from, or even who it was who shot me. I just need to get it out of my chest. (Sighs.) So...thank you. This has been helpful. You're good. Thanks for the fries.", "(Angela exits.)", "SWEETS: Go ahead. Help yourself.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, Cam's office. Hodgins walks in to speak with Cam.)", "HODGINS: Found another mystery stain on this piece of her skirt. It's body fluid, so... it's your problem.", "CAM: What have we here?", "HODGINS: Do you think I'm off my game because of Angela? Because of all this residual stuff between us? Every time I look at her, I still think about...", "CAM: Semen.", "HODGINS: What? No. I was going to say something much more romantic than that.", "CAM: This stain... it's semen.", "HODGINS: Oh. Right.", "CAM: I was also given a swatch of carpet from the copy room that had a stain. Also semen.", "HODGINS: So now we know victim was on the floor of the copy room and that there were semen stains on the floor and now on her skirt?", "CAM: My guess is, the stains will match.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan walking through the smoking area of the office building.)", "BOOTH: Patty Hoyle ordered food Friday night, had it delivered to the office. Guess whose credit card she used?", "BRENNAN: Well, I really don't have enough data to make an educated guess.", "BOOTH: Oh, her boss is Gary Flannery.", "BRENNAN: So, Cam is comparing the semen found on the floor with the stain found on the skirt.", "BOOTH: Seems like Pretty Patty was sleeping her way up the food chain with the boss.", "BRENNAN: Flannery is married. Maybe she threatened to expose the affair, and he decided to kill her to keep her quiet.", "(They walk around a corner to see HAMID: Just because tech support is in India doesn't mean I get special treatment. Patty knew that.", "GARY: Just call them, please.", "BOOTH: Excuse me. Mr. Flannery, like to ask you a few questions about your credit card statement.", "BRENNAN: I'd like to ask him for a DNA sample.", "BOOTH: Now.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation room. Booth and Brennan are interrogating Gary.)", "GARY: Patty was a valued employee and that is all.", "BOOTH: Come on, you think I'm gonna slam you for having a little fun? It happens. Late night meetings, a little cleavage.", "GARY: No. I-I'm a married man.", "BRENNAN: Then why did you give her your credit card?", "GARY: For the occasional business expense.", "BOOTH: Room service, massage, shiatsu one hour, a purse, three hundred dollars worth of lingerie.", "GARY: I was not having s*x with Patty!", "BOOTH: Why did she have your credit card?", "BRENNAN: And semen on her skirt.", "GARY: No! Patty decided to run an expendables audit, all right, she wanted to account for every damn pencil. And she found out I was ordering extra office supplies and selling the surplus online. She was going to report me to corporate. But she said she'd keep her mouth shut if I let her use my card now and then. Oh, she had the whole office under her thumb, knew everyone's business. Sneaky bitch.", "BRENNAN: So she was blackmailing you. That's not easy to stop, is it?", "GARY: But I didn't kill her. Please. You can't tell the head office. I've got a family. I could lose my job, my healthcare, my pension...", "BOOTH: Shut up. Open your mouth.", "GARY: (Opens his mouth so Brennan can swab it.) Ahhh...", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, exam room. Brennan and Fisher are going over the remains.)", "BRENNAN: What have you found? The pelvis?", "FISHER: The anteroposterior diameter is 160 millimeters. Transverse diameter is 240 millimeters. (Pauses and scoffs.) Listen to me. Reducing the pelvic inlet, the orifice of life, to a numerical abstract.", "BRENNAN: We need mathematical constructs to understand any aspect of our world, Mr. Fisher. And those figures and equations are beautiful. Like a musical composition, they give life meaning and us the possibility of knowing the unknowable.", "FISHER: Right. There's no evidence that the body was disarticulated prior to being shoved down the chute, so she either went in headfirst or feetfirst. Given that, I've cut a hole that corresponds to the measurements of the chute. (He lifts a box and hands it to Brennan, then picks up the pelvic bone and demonstrates it against the hole he's cut in the box.) There's only one problem. Any way you turn it, the pelvis won't fit. So, the body couldn't have entered the shaft by that chute. But since it still had to fall a minimum of 60 meters...", "BRENNAN: It was dumped from the 16th floor. I'll call Booth.", "(Cam enters.)", "CAM: DNA results came back. The two semen stains are a match-the one from her skirt and the one from the copy room floor. But they're not from her boss. Sorry.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, platform. Hodgins is working as Angela approaches.)", "ANGELA: Hey.", "HODGINS: Hey, uh...hi.", "ANGELA: Look, this tension between us, I hate it. I-I mean, I know that we broke up and everything, but I've experienced loss before and lived through it and... you have, too. And I'm not gonna pretend this didn't happen because it might be easier to break up. I'm going to relive us huddled last winter in that cabin in Montana when the lights went out and the heat went out and laughing our asses off when you tried explaining that spectrometer thingy to me. So, I am not going to hide anymore, and I'm not going to walk on eggshells. I am just going to accept that the whole damn mess happened, and pain or not, I'm glad it did.", "HODGINS: Okay.", "(Angela exits.)", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan in the office building. Brennan is examining the elevator door.)", "BRENNAN: So, forensics didn't find any prints?", "BOOTH: (Trying to pry the elevator doors open on his own and unable to do so. Sighs.) No. Cleaning crew came in over the weekend and wiped down all the elevator doors.", "BRENNAN: Eh, no blood. What's that? (She points to a pink pastry box next to Booth's feet.)", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: That.", "BOOTH: Those are my cupcakes. I got them for the HR officer at work. I heard she loves them.", "BRENNAN: So, fraud and bribery?", "BOOTH: No. Twelve years of service and lumbar support, okay? It's all a matter of perception.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: Don't say it like that. \"Okay,\" like I'm some kind of kid.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: It's looking pretty good, too, Bones. I mean, Willie Ackerman, he got cut off the list 'cause he got his note from an acupuncturist, and that doesn't even count. Hah! Boob. Watch out, I'm going to try this again. (He tries to pry the doors open again.) Oh, man. Ah, forget it! There's no way that I could keep that open long enough to dump a body, and I'm in shape.", "BRENNAN: Must have been someone that was stronger than you.", "BOOTH: You're kidding me? Have you seen the people in these offices? Compared to them, I am Hercules.", "BRENNAN: Well, apparently not. Maybe you do need that chair.", "BOOTH: Or maybe it was two people.", "ACT FOUR", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, Cam and Fisher are examining the remains.)", "FISHER: One thousand, two-hundred and sixty-three bone fragments and I've checked every single one of them. And the only cause of death I see is on the squamous temporal bone.", "CAM: The localized staining would be consistent with blunt force trauma.", "FISHER: Except there's no sign of that on the exterior of the skull.", "CAM: Then it was probably caused by a ruptured aneurysm.", "FISHER: Which would make her death an accident. And our persuit for a villain merely a cry for justice in an unjust world.", "CAM: But if it's an accident, it wouldn't account for the elevator or the semen.", "FISHER: True. I should have found that earlier. Dr. Brennan's going to fire me, isn't she? I guess while I was trying to see the metaphorical sun, I totally forgot that the chances of survival in an unfriendly cosmos...", "CAM: Have you considered Prozac, Mr. Fisher?", "FISHER: Already on it.", "CAM: Then double your dose 'cause you're bringing me down, and that's hard to do, 'cause I have worked with death for years and you are making it all look like good times now. So, get it together, okay, Eeyore?", "(Brennan enters.)", "BRENNAN: What have you found?", "CAM: An aneurysm.", "FISHER: It should have been caused by trauma to the ectocranial surface, but there's no evidence of trauma at all.", "BRENNAN: Very good, Mr. Fisher. What do you see there?", "FISHER: Two tiny punctures, approximately seven millimeters apart. And what's very good? I totally missed them.", "CAM: You found the hemorrhagic stain that led us here.", "FISHER: So what caused them? Snake fangs? Eastern pipistrelle bat? Uh, a vampire?", "BRENNAN: Fingerprint powder.", "(Fisher goes to get the fingerprint powder. Brennan applies it and examines the puncture wounds beneath a microscope.)", "FISHER: What are you doing?", "BRENNAN: A fine horizontal bar terminating in two vertical protrusions.", "CAM: Oh, my God. She was killed by a staple.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner, Booth and Brennan are eating and talking at a table near the window.)", "BOOTH: A staple?", "BRENNAN: Mmhm.", "BOOTH: How do you kill somebody with a staple?", "BRENNAN: It perforated the thinnest part of the calvarium... the squamous temporal bone... causing Miss Hoyle's preexisting aneurysm to rupture.", "BOOTH: And how do you get somebody to stand still while you staple them?", "BRENNAN: There's a small depression near the wound that suggests the stapler was thrown.", "BOOTH: So whoever did this didn't mean to kill her.", "BRENNAN: No, I can't confirm that.", "BOOTH: It's common sense, Bones. One doesn't usually use a stapler as a murder weapon, and they certainly couldn't have known that she had an aneurysm.", "BRENNAN: I'll concede on both points.", "BOOTH: Tell you what, my boys are looking for the murder weapon. Maybe we can pull some prints.", "BRENNAN: So Patty has s*x with someone who then hits her with a stapler. Odd work environment.", "(Hodgins enters and sits next to Brennan.)", "HODGINS: Okay, you are not going to believe this.", "BOOTH: Yeah, try topping death by office supplies.", "HODGINS: I was wracking my brian over the trace analysis from the sweater. Furfural, proteolytic enzyme, triarylmethane dye...", "BOOTH: Hodgins, Hodg-Hodgins. Eyes are glazing over.", "HODGINS: It's a blue Hawaiian.", "BRENNAN: What's a blue Hawaiian?", "BOOTH: Well, it's a potent cocktail. Two of those puppies and you're asking yourself, \"Hey, why amd I naked and who are all these people?\"", "HODGINS: Brilliant blue FCF from the blue curacao, furfural from the rum, proteolytic enzyme-pinapple, alcohol speaks for itself.", "BRENNAN: Is this the sort of beverage they would serve at the Paradise Isle?", "BOOTH: Yeah, it comes in one of those ceramic monkey heads. So the killer must have stepped in spilled drink.", "HODGINS: Given the level of fructose and sugarcane, it would have adhered to his shoe. He stomps on the victim, and presto, her sweater lights up with more traces than a luau pig.", "BRENNAN: Dave as at Paradise Isle, but his, his alibi checks out.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but Dave was there with Chip, who gave him a ride home, but we don't know what Chip did for the rest of the night. Good work, Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Thanks.", "BOOTH: Now you can have a French fry.", "HODGINS: Hey, man, right? Hey, you know, uh... I think Angela and I are cool now. We talked, and I think...", "BRENNAN: (Her phone rings and she answers.) Brennan.", "BOOTH: You know what? Just keep it to yourself.", "BRENNAN: We'll be right there.", "BOOTH: You can have all the fries you want. Pay for the bill, too.", "HODGINS: ...to talk to you guys about...", "BRENNAN: Thanks, Hodgins.", "HODGINS: ...Angela.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Brennan, Booth and Cam are walking through the lab.)", "CAM: I was filing the DNA test I ran on Gary's saliva.", "BOOTH: Ah, it does match after all.", "CAM: No, but I did double-check the semen's sample from the victim's skirt with the one on the floor and they do match. (She brings up an image of sperm on a large screen.) And according to the deterioration of the sperm tail, the ejaculate is from Friday night.", "BOOTH: That must have been some happy hour.", "BRENNAN: The night she was murdered.", "BOOTH: You can tell all that from their little tails?", "CAM: Yes, and I can also tell that our man is probably of Asian descent.", "BOOTH: Oh, by the way they swim.", "CAM: No. From forty-two specific DNA sequences.", "BOOTH: Yeah, probably more exact.", "CAM: I'm not sure if that's helpful. There are three billion Asian people in the world.", "BRENNAN: But only one who works in the office.", "BOOTH: And he was at Paradise Isle.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation room, Booth is questioning Chip.)", "BOOTH: We found the murder weapon, Chip.", "CHIP: A stapler?", "BOOTH: Yep, a stapler. Picked it up in a dumpster behind your building.", "BRENNAN: Someone threw it at her. We found some of Patty's hair embedded in the slide, as well as a trace of blood.", "CHIP: So, uh, what do you need from me? I'll help any way I can. I liked Patty.", "BOOTH: Enough to make love to her in the copy room on the floor?", "CHIP: God, no. She was my boss.", "BRENNAN: We also found semen on the floor of the copy room and on her skirt. The DNA showed it was from an Asian male. You're the only person of Asian descent in the office, Chip.", "BOOTH: Look at this. We have a, uh, court order here for your DNA. (Takes the court order out of his jacket and puts it on the table in front of Chip.)", "CHIP: Okay, you're right. I was sleeping with Patty, but I wanted to end it, so I had a couple drinks to get up my courage and went back to the office.", "BOOTH: Then what happened?", "CHIP: I told her we had to stop because we were going to get caught. She threatened to report me for sexual harassment if I didn't keep sleeping with her. She was calling Gary to report me.", "BOOTH: So you threw the stapler at her?", "CHIP: It... hit her in the head a-and she just dropped.", "BRENNAN: She had an aneurysm. You ruptured it.", "CHIP: I didn't know.", "BOOTH: Then what?", "CHIP: I...had to get rid of her. I...I panicked, dragged her into the hall, opened the elevator doors, and...shoved her down the shaft.", "BOOTH: How?", "CHIP: W-what do you mean, \"how?\"", "(Cut to: The office building, Chip is trying to pry the elevator doors open. He is unsuccessful.)", "CHIP: It must have been the adrenaline. Enough of that, you can lift a car, right?", "(Booth pulls out his gun and cocks the hammer back.)", "BOOTH: Is this enough adrenaline for you?", "CHIP: Okay.", "(Chip tries again and then Brennan steps in to help. They are able to pry it open enough to fit a body through.)", "BOOTH: Look at that-two people. Who's helping you?", "CHIP: No one. It was just me.", "BOOTH: Somebody had to have helped you hold the doors open while you kicked her down the shaft.", "CHIP: No.", "BOOTH: Who are you protecting, Chipper?", "BRENNAN: Booth, can you take the door?", "(Booth holds the doors open.)", "BOOTH: Got it, got it. All right.", "(Brennan bends down and picks up a blue fingernail with a pair of tweezers.)", "BOOTH: Okay, what is that?", "BRENNAN: It looks like a piece of fingernail, blue nail polish.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation room. Christine, with her blue fingernails, is being interrogated by Booth and Brennan.)", "CHRISTINE: Chip tried to protect me?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "CHRISTINE: That's just like him, you know? Whenever I have too many calls on hold, he'd always answer the phone. He totally didn't have to do that.", "BOOTH: The best way for you to help him is to just tell me the truth.", "CHRISTINE: Okay, well...we both have roommates...so...sometimes...we'd make love in the office. We were in the copy room and we thought we were alone, but Patty came back for something and she caught us, and she said she was going to report us. I mean, no one in the office could date. It was against company policy. She said we'd both be fired.", "BOOTH: So you threw the stapler.", "CHRISTINE: I-I was so sick of her sticking her nose in everything. Sh-she went over to the phone to report us to Gary, and...I threw the stapler. I didn't, I didn't mean to kill her. I just wanted to be with Chip. (She begins to cry heavily and Booth reaches over to hold her hand.)", "(Cut to: Booth's office at the FBI building. Brennan walks in to see Booth shining the leather on his new chair.)", "BRENNAN: I see you got your throne.", "BOOTH: That's right. The chair.", "BRENNAN: Looks nice. Another victory for the hive.", "BOOTH: HR said you called.", "BRENNAN: Yes, but I didn't lie to them. I wouldn't do that. (Sits down.)", "BOOTH: Well, you must have said something because she didn't even eat her cupcakes and the chair was here.", "BRENNAN: No, I just told them why I felt it was important for you to have it, that's all.", "BOOTH: And, uh, why is that? Because even a mindless drone (lowers himself into the chair) ahhhh...deserves some perks?", "BRENNAN: No, because of how important you are to them. I mentioned your dedication and courage and sensitivity.", "BOOTH: Sensitivity?", "BRENNAN: Yes, Booth. I mean, even today with that young woman who killed her boss, it's very impressive. Anyway, I said that a chair is a good way to show the other employees in the office how much those qualities are valued.", "BOOTH: Hmmm, well, it worked.", "BRENNAN: I'll never understand why you felt you had to lie to get the chair. I mean, you could have just told them about yourself on your own.", "BOOTH: Well, because that would have been bragging, even though it was true. (He leans back, throws the towel he was shining the chair with at Brennan, and a snapping sound it heard.) Oh, ow.", "BRENNAN: You okay?", "BOOTH: Yeah, no, it was just...I think some of the padding in the back here is worn out. When I lean back, it's... hits.", "BRENNAN: So Agent Kelton overstated the attributes of the chair.", "BOOTH: No, no, this thing is great, you kidding me? It's a...even though it's an antique, doesn't tilt back...yet. And it smells like a three hundred pound dead guy.", "BRENNAN: So you like it.", "BOOTH: Are you're kidding me? Love it. I'm not giving this baby up for anything, huh? (He touches the lever that raises and lowers the chair. He sinks down almost below the surface of his desk.) Uh-oh. You know, that little up and down thing is a little touchy. (Fade to black, another clanging sound.) Ow." ]

[ "When skeletal remains are found in the Chesapeake Bay, Brennan and Booth are on the case to investigate. With only the upper torso of the victim intact, the team has little to work from besides the remnants of the victim's breast implants. Brennan and Booth are led to a small church community in Maryland where the victim was a pastor, but they have no record of her existence prior to moving to the small town five years prior." ]

[ "\"The He in the She\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Open: Beach scene - two hippies fishing on a beach)", "HIPPIE #2: Oh, I'm so toasted HIPPIE #1: Yeah, me, too.", "HIPPIE #2: Hey.", "HIPPIE #1: What?", "HIPPIE #2: Early morning...Shouldn't it be foggy?", "HIPPIE #1: Global warming.", "HIPPIE #2: But it's all good.", "HIPPIE #1: No, not really. I don't want to be negative, but it's not all good. Just ask a penguin, man. Global warming sucks.", "HIPPIE #2: (noticing something in the water) What's that?", "HIPPIE #1: Global warming is when some kind of carbon gasses get built up...", "HIPPIE #2: No, what's that? (staring at object in water)", "HIPPIE #1: Just trash.", "HIPPIE #2: (goes to look closer) No, man. (starts to pull item from the water, sees that it's the hand of a skeleton) Oh!", "(Cut to Sweet's office - Booth, Brennan, and Sweets are all sitting silently. Booth's phone vibrates)", "BOOTH: Oh! Look at that - thank God, somebody got murdered.", "BRENNAN: Okay, let's go. (Both rush out of the room.)", "SWEETS: You're supposed to turn your phones completely off during our sessions, you know? Not just vibrate. It's a matter of respect.", "(Cut to beach scene - Booth and Brennan are walking towards the beach. The scene is surrounded by police tape.)", "BOOTH: Hi, guys. (two police officers hold up the yellow tape, allowing Booth and Brennan to pass under)", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: (Saroyan and Nigel-Murray walk up from the water line) Oh, hey. Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray, what are you doing here?", "CAM: We decided to utilize some of your brighter grad students until we find a full-time forensic anthropologist, remember?", "BRENNAN: Do you consider yourself one of my brighter grad students, Mr. Nigel-Murray?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Yes. And so do you, Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: I am not calling this kid Mr. Nigel...anything.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Vincent. Or Vince. Or Vinnie, Vin, Vincenzo. Actually, uh, I had this girlfriend once who used to call me Vino Delectable because of how my, eh...", "(Booth and Bones stare at him)", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: You don't...need to know that. Uh, what do you need me to do first?", "BRENNAN: I need you to go back to the lab.", "CAM: I thought perhaps you might want Vin...cent to shadow you, get a real sense of what you do.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Little known forensic fact: tongue prints are as distinctive as finger prints, so...I can be useful in the field.", "BRENNAN: I need a forensic anthropologist in the lab so I can spend my time aiming Agent Booth in the right direction.", "BOOTH: \"Aiming Agent Booth\"? What, like a hose?", "BRENNAN: Well, here. Take my car. (hands her car keys to Mr. Nigel-Murray) I'll get a ride with Booth.", "BRENNAN: How were these remains found?", "BOOTH: Well, let me aim you in this direction, okay, Bones?", "CAM: Two - let's call them hippies - found these remains this morning.", "BOOTH: (chuckles and glances at the hippies) Deadheads.", "CAM: Oh, I sold veggie burritos and followed Phish one whole summer. It was fantastic.", "BRENNAN: I'm not able to ascertain s*x without a pelvic bone.", "CAM: Well, if this scrap of cloth is a bathing suit, then probably female.", "BRENNAN: Are you good at estimating time of death for submerged corpses?", "CAM: Heavily degraded by crab and fish. Two to three weeks? That could be a breast implant.", "BOOTH: Breasts - that's my department, okay? You give me a serial number, my guys will be able to track that down.", "CAM: Why is there only half a skeleton?", "BRENNAN: Because the spine has been severed.", "BOOTH: So, severed spine equals foul play.", "BRENNAN: No, not necessarily.", "BOOTH: Then it was an accident.", "BRENNAN: No, it was foul play.", "BOOTH: I just said that.", "BRENNAN: Mm, this hand has sustained trauma.", "BOOTH: Shark attack.", "BRENNAN: No. The fingers got smashed from what looks like multiple blows. That suggests foul play and...not by a shark.", "CAM: We'll have Hodgins take a close look for particulates.", "BOOTH: Okay, great. So what do we do next?", "BRENNAN: Find the other half? (Everyone looks to the ocean)", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab, Forensics Platform - Cam and Mr. Nigel-Murray are examining the skeleton)", "CAM: What do you see, Mr. Nigel-Murray?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Eye sockets.", "CAM: Anything special about these sockets?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: There are no eyeballs in them?", "CAM: We already have Agent Booth to make lame jokes. Let's stick to facts.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: The rods in the human eye are sensitive enough to detect the light emitted by a struck match from as much as a mile away on a clear night.", "CAM: Okay, let's stick to relevant facts.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: These sockets have been ground down.", "CAM: Okay, that could be useful. Especially if you have an explanation.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Plastic surgery. Oh, she had, uh, fake boobs, too.", "CAM: \"Sockets,\" \"eyeballs,\" \"boobs\" - I wouldn't use these words when conferring with Dr. Brennan.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: I know. With her, it's all \"supraorbital limbus\" and \"mammary implants.\" But you seemed a more colloquial sort.", "CAM: Well, in that case, what about the backbone?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: A clean transection between the L1 and L2 vertebrae. Obviously, that would have been fatal if it had happened while the victim were still alive. (looks to computer screen showing victim's skull) This conk to the parietal bone would not have been fatal. And these abrasions are puzzling. (points to computer screen showing victim's ribs)", "CAM: Postmortem scraping from the remains being washed up on a stony beach.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh...should I have known that?", "CAM: Point is, you do now.", "(Hodgins enters Platform)", "HODGINS: The remains show traces of fresh water and pelagic sediment common to Chesapeake Bay. (glances at Mr. Nigel-Murray, then looks at Cam) Grad student?", "CAM: He's done very well so far.", "HODGINS: (looks back to Mr. Nigel-Murray) He'll disappoint.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Why?", "HODGINS: (chuckles, then looks to a computer screen) I've discovered microscopic tooth shards from the Alosa sapidissima, also known as the American shad, on what flesh there is.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: In the 1700s the shad was especially valued as a delicacy.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Fascinating. Based on currents, shad populations, and sheer guesswork... CAM: Don't tell him you're guessing.", "HODGINS: ...the victim died in the same body of water in which she was found, probably within six miles.", "CAM: I got a serial number off the breast implant. The FBI's tracking it down now.", "HODGINS: Traces of copolymer on the vertebrae, nearly microscopic. I'm chasing that down.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: I...won't disappoint. I graduated with first-class honors from Leeds. Also, I have a retentive memory.", "CAM: Ah...that would explain the, um...informative tangents.", "HODGINS: Does Brennan put \"Mister\" in front of your name?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Yes.", "HODGINS: It's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor. (walks off the Platform smiling)", "CAM: (calls after Hodgins) Don't tell him that!", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Do you know what large-breasted women and fish remind me of?", "CAM: Be very careful what you say next, Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.", "CAM: Tangents, Mr. Nigel-Murray, tangents and diversions. Perhaps we could keep those to a minimum. The FBI's traced the breast implant to Baltimore plastic surgeon. He replaced a leaking implant for this woman. (shows Mr. Nigel-Murray a file with a picture of the victim)", "(Cut to SUV - Booth and Brennan in the car, Brennan is holding the same file Cam had and is looking at a picture of the victim)", "BRENNAN: So, her name is Patricia Ludmuller, RR#1, Maylor Island, Maryland.", "BOOTH: Yeah, reported missing three weeks ago. Presumed drowned after she didn't come back from her morning swim.", "BRENNAN: Very striking facial features.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, according to your Mr.... what's his name?", "BRENNAN: Nigel-Murray?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Those were mostly artificial, too.", "BRENNAN: How many people live on Maylor Island?", "BOOTH: I'd say about a couple thousand--that's one of those end-of-the-world places where the weirdoes flock.", "BRENNAN: Why go to this much trouble to make yourself look beautiful and then move to the end of the world?", "BOOTH: Well, the background check on her turned up suspiciously little. All right? There's no credit cards, no driver's license. Officially, she didn't exist before five years ago.", "BRENNAN: Witness protection?", "BOOTH: No. Marshals say she's not one of theirs. But, you know, sometimes they lie.", "BRENNAN: If you really wanted to hide, you wouldn't make yourself look beautiful.", "BOOTH: Well, if you want to hide, Bones, you'd change your looks as much as you can.", "(Cut to Maylor Island - Brennan and Booth walking down a street)", "BOOTH: Talk about low profile.", "BRENNAN: It's very peaceful.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, these peaceful places, they usually have a seething underbelly.", "BRENNAN: Really?", "BOOTH: Well, I mean, what do I know? I'm from Philly, where the underbelly's on top. Just focus. Look--our victim's home. (points to victim's house)", "(Cut to inside of Patricia Ludmuller's house - Booth and Brennan are looking around)", "BRENNAN: This is a very spiritual person, catholic in her tastes.", "BOOTH: Oh, what, you can tell she's Catholic?", "BRENNAN: Not Catholic, catholic. Encompassing, universal. She has a lot of religious books, but they cover a wide range of dogmas and philosophies. She herself seems to be Protestant. There's crosses, no crucifixes.", "BOOTH: (looking at a picture of Patricia with her congregation) She's a pastor. Yeah. Looks like one of those grassroots community churches.", "BRENNAN: (looking at Patricia's open bible) She was preparing for a sermon.", "BOOTH: A pastor with breast augmentation and veneers?", "BRENNAN: So?", "BOOTH: A spiritual leader shouldn't be so vain.", "BRENNAN: The Pope sits on a throne; he wears robes worth thousands of dollars. Isn't that vanity?", "BOOTH: Really? You're going after the Pope now?", "BRENNAN: One pastor gets her teeth whitened, and the other drinks wine on Sunday mornings and tells everyone that it's been miraculously transformed into blood. Which of those is more outlandish?", "(Booth pushes button Patricia's answering machine)", "MACHINE: You have one new message.", "JP: (on machine) It's JP again. I'm sorry. I-I miss you. I need to see you--it's important. I really need you, Patty. Please call. Please.", "BOOTH: Sounds like a lost sheep in need of religious counseling.", "BRENNAN: Sounds more like a desperate boyfriend.", "BOOTH: (looking at Patricia's telephone) Nothing here. It's just caller ID's blocked. (Booth's cell phone rings) Hold on. (on phone) Booth. Yeah? Where? (to Bones) Bones. Bones. They found a pelvis and legs in the water about eight miles from here in the Virginia side of the bay.", "BRENNAN: They should take it to the lab.", "BOOTH: (on phone) Okay, send it over to the lab, now.", "(Cut to Medico-Legal Lab, autopsy room - Cam and Mr. Nigel-Murray are looking at the bottom half of the body)", "CAM: There's more tissue on this half. And just because we have the top of a body and the bottom of a body doesn't mean it's all the same body.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: This half starts where the other half ends, at the L2 vertebra. Coincidence? I think not.", "CAM: Based on the lack of hemorrhagic tissue, this victim was already dead when cut in half.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: He's in the water...drowning, maybe, or-or he was pushed from a boat. When he reaches for the boat, his fingers are smashed. He drowns, and then is cut in half later in some maritime mishap.", "CAM: He?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Triangular pubis. No evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks--it says, \"I be male.\"", "CAM: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say--this part here says female.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: What part's that?", "CAM: It's called a v*g1n*.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Did you know that women blink twice as often as men?", "CAM: Which might be useful information if the fish hadn't eaten our victim's eyelids.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Ah, relevance.", "CAM: Well, I can do a DNA comparison to find out if these two sets of human remains come from the same victim.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: The measurements of the vertebrae match perfectly. I-I'm nearly positive that it's all one victim.", "CAM: Who is...", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Male.", "CAM: And female. We have one victim with two sexes.", "(Cut to Booth's office - Booth, Brennan, and Sweets are sitting around)", "SWEETS: A transgender?", "BRENNAN: Post-op. She had female s*x organs.", "SWEETS: So if she had sexual reassignment surgery, she would be a transsexual.", "BOOTH: How do they do that?", "BRENNAN: They split the pen1s, and then turn it inside out-- carefully, so as not to damage the nerves. And then they use the glans to create a nerve cluster dense enough to achieve orgasm.", "BOOTH: Okay, new rule. No surgical details, all right?", "SWEETS: Generally, transgendered people feel that they're the victim of a cosmic mistake. They're certain, from a young age, that they were born into the wrong body. Surgery and hormone treatments are a way to correct that biological mistake.", "BRENNAN: Which is why Patricia Ludmuller's past only went back five years.", "BOOTH: Are pastors allowed to think that God makes those kind of mistakes?", "SWEETS: Do you think God makes that kind of mistake?", "BOOTH: I think that God expects us to overcome certain things.", "SWEETS: The term \"trans\" conveys a meaning of \"beyond the cross.\" Moving further. There's a very spiritual component.", "BOOTH: Let's say some hyper religious fundamentalist finds out that Sister Patricia used to be Father Paul...", "SWEETS: And murders her. Okay, you mentioned that there was an intense message on Patricia Ludmuller's answering machine, right?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "SWEETS: If, say, she had s*x with a man, and then informed him that she was transgender, isn't that a more likely motive for murder?", "BRENNAN: Anthropologically speaking, a male's status in a society is closely connected with what he perceives to be his outward maleness.", "BOOTH: Look, there's no way the guy on that answering machine knew that he...she... he... knew that she... he...was transgender.", "BRENNAN: How do you know?", "BOOTH: Well, because I know an \"ain't too proud to beg\" phone call when I hear one, all right? He had no idea that she wasn't a real woman.", "SWEETS: That's very insightful.", "BOOTH: Thank you. Insightful. See?", "SWEETS: Except for the \"real woman\" slip.", "BRENNAN: Have you made many of these \"ain't too proud to beg\" calls in the past?", "BOOTH: What do you say we just stay focused here?", "SWEETS: Okay, have you ruled out completely that Patricia Ludmuller's murder might be because of something that happened before he became a woman?", "BOOTH: I put a request in to find out his previous identity before he was a woman. That's the best I could do. Okay, from now on, he is always a she. She was a he when she died, so she deserves the respect due to him or her...okay, person!", "BRENNAN: Okay... I'm a genius, and I'm confused.", "(Cut to Maylor Island beach - Congregation is meeting by the shore, Booth and Brennan join them.)", "WADE: Pastor Patricia was our center. Like the best leaders, she drew us together without even trying.", "BRENNAN: Did you release identity?", "BOOTH: Their pastor went for a swim and never came back. All right? The body washed up.", "BRENNAN: Intuitive leap. Right.", "WADE: Let's pray together. Let's pray that whatever happened to Patricia out there alone came peacefully. That God embraced her as His daughter. That there was no pain, only God's great serenity.", "CHUCK: A moment of silence for the pastor we loved so much.", "BRENNAN: What are you doing?", "BOOTH: I'm praying. Would you keep your voice down?", "BRENNAN: Sorry. You're not a member.", "BOOTH: It's not a gym, Bones.", "BOOTH: Excuse me, Mr., uh...", "WADE: Wade Schmidt. You're FBI?", "BRENNAN: How did you know that Patricia Ludmuller was the victim found in the bay?", "WADE: She's a member of our community, and she's gone--we feel her loss. We're right, aren't we?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Is there a... a vice pastor? Somebody else we can talk to?", "WADE: Not really. I take care of the finances. Chuck, over there, he acted as kind of an unofficial assistant to Patricia.", "BRENNAN: What will happen to the church now?", "WADE: To be honest, I'm not optimistic that we'll survive Patricia's loss.", "BRENNAN: Why? You're a community of people with a common superstition. The shared illusion should be enough to bind you.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "WADE: Patricia would like you. She'd say, \"That's the one that will keep us honest.\"", "BRENNAN: See? She would have liked me.", "BOOTH: She keeps everyone honest--this one.", "WADE: Hey, Chuck, you got a moment? These people are from the FBI.", "CHUCK: I thought Patricia drowned.", "BRENNAN: We don't know the cause of death yet.", "CHUCK: She went for a swim on a foggy morning. She got cut in half by a yacht propeller or a destroyer returning to Norfolk, okay?", "WADE: Chuck.", "BRENNAN: We don't know how the body was disarticulated.", "CHUCK: What the hell do you know?", "BOOTH: We know what we don't know, Mr. Kennedy. That's why we're asking questions.", "CHUCK: Yeah, we do have a few felons in our congregation-- former addicts. Not to mention the less serious sins-lying, vanity, sloth, greed. I, myself, had a meth problem. Would you like to arrest me?", "BOOTH: Is that a confession, Chuck?", "CHUCK: Yeah. Yeah, I'm confessing to a past. I have a past, like everybody else. I bet even you do. Of course, God absolved me of my past. How about you? (leaves)", "BOOTH: See you around WADE: He's taking it hard. The way Chuck sees it, Patricia introduced him to God, and God saved his life. Gave him focus, made him part of a community.", "BOOTH: Do you have a congregant called JP?", "WADE: Yes.", "BOOTH: Could you point him out to us, please?", "(Wade indicates a man standing on the shore, looking at the ocean)", "(Cut to interrogation room - Booth and JP are sitting at a table. Angela is just outside the room, wearing a headset so she can talk to Booth. Both Angela and Booth have photos of Patricia.)", "JP: It's still hard to believe the pastor's gone.", "BOOTH: I understand she was one hell of a swimmer.", "ANGELA: Hey, Booth, I'm looking at these pictures you gave me, and body language and facial expressions tell some very interesting stories.", "BOOTH: Why don't you give me your insights?", "JP: She swam every single day. Yeah. But you don't need me for that insight. Ask anybody.", "ANGELA: He holds himself separate from the congregation. What do you think that means?", "BOOTH: How long have you been a member of the Inclusion Church?", "JP: Well, I joined about six months ago.", "ANGELA: He's a latecomer to the church, huh? That's a good one.", "BOOTH: (TO Angela) Thank you. (to JP) For sharing that.", "JP: Why would anybody lie about when they joined a church?", "BOOTH: So what brought you to the church?", "JP: I had a drinking problem, which gave me problems with the law, which gave me marital problems.", "BOOTH: You served two years less a day for assault.", "JP: When I got out of jail, I wanted my wife back. I wanted my life back.", "ANGELA: It doesn't look like things are going so great with the wife.", "BOOTH: Are you living with your wife again?", "JP: I got a ways to go before Rita trusts me whole hog, you know? Plus, she's not that excited about the religious aspect. Why is the FBI interested in a pastor drowning?", "BOOTH: Well, there's more than one way for a person to drown. Did you always call her \"pastor\"?", "JP: What else would I call her?", "(Booth plays answering machine tape) JP: Hey, it's JP again. I'm sorry. I... I miss you. I need to see you. It's important. I really need you, Patty. Please call. Please.", "JP: You got it all wrong. That call is not what you're thinking. I was calling the pastor about Rita.", "BOOTH: Really?", "ANGELA: Hold on a minute. Look at the last photo. He knew.", "BOOTH: (to Angela) You can't tell that from a photo.", "JP: I beg your pardon?", "ANGELA: I can. He knew that she used to be a man.", "BOOTH: (to Angela) It doesn't show in the photographs. (to JP) You know what I'm saying?", "JP: About what Patricia was before?", "ANGELA: I told you he knew.", "BOOTH: What was your reaction when you found out that Pastor Patricia wasn't a real woman?", "JP: Don't say Patty wasn't a real woman. It makes you sound ignorant.", "BOOTH: The pastor came between you and your wife, but she was living a lie. You lost your manhood and your religion all in one go. Or what? Did prison just widen your tastes?", "ANGELA: You're just pretending to be a jerk to get a rise out of this guy, right?", "JP: I didn't want to develop feelings for Patricia, but I did, and that didn't change when she told me who she used to be.", "BOOTH: Who did she used to be?", "JP: What do you want, a name? I don't know. I never asked. Can't you look it up on some legal name change form? If you'd have ever met Patty, you'd know what I know. What God knows. What she knew. She was not a man.", "ANGELA: Yeah. I'm with him on this one.", "(Medico-Legal Lab, autopsy room - Brennan, Cam, and Mr. Nigel-Murray have Patricia's skeleton on the table and are examining test results on a computer)", "CAM: Bone marrow and liver remnants contain high concentrations of ethanol estradyal etherone acetate and spironolactone, which is an anti-androgen.", "BRENNAN: Hormone replacement therapy.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Very healthy bone mass. High percentages of calcium and vitamin D.", "BRENNAN: Which indicates...", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: A health nut.", "CAM: Tox screen shows Stamaril, Havrix Monodose and Engerix-B.", "BRENNAN: Vaccinations?", "CAM: Yellow fever, Hep A and Hep B.", "BRENNAN: All necessary for traveling to the Far East.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Did you know that only 20% of Americans have passports? That's not irrelevant. Perhaps that's why there's no record of this guy...woman...having a s*x change. It could have happened in, you know, Thailand.", "CAM: Very good, Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "BRENNAN: Though conjecture is not really what we do here in the lab. So...But very good, Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to couch rest area - Mr. Nigel-Murray and Hodgins are sitting)", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Can I ask you something?", "HODGINS: Is there any way to say no?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Whatever happened to whoever it was who used to work here before me?", "HODINGS: He joined forces with a serial killer who was the last in a long line of cannibalistic murderers specializing in knocking off members of secret societies and building skeletons out of their body parts.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to me. So he's not coming back?", "HODGINS: No. He's locked up for the rest of his life. But we all still like him.", "ANGELA: (approaches) Excuse me.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Hello, hello, hello.", "HODGINS: Are you familiar with the expression, \"That's way too much car for you\"?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: I believe that's one of ours, actually, sir. Yes.", "ANGELA: Hey, I want to show you something.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: I want to show you something.", "ANGELA: Vroom, vroom, kid. You're already in my rearview mirror.", "Booth said the FBI couldn't find any record of an official name change, or anything showing who Patricia Ludmuller was before the s*x change operation.", "HODINGS: It's possible she had her surgery done in the Far East.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.", "ANGELA: Anyway, what I did was (showing her drawings)...here she is as a woman.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Hmm, not bad. I mean, I mean the sketch... Okay.", "ANGELA: (showing another drawing) Here I made her more masculine. I made the bony prominences more robust, increased the size of the mastoid processes and the nuchal crests.", "HODGINS: Seldom seen bigger nuchal crests.", "ANGELA: It doesn't look like anybody you recognize?", "HODGINS: Should it?", "ANGELA: I also added facial hair. (showing last drawing) Do you recognize him now?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: It's that guy.", "HODGINS: \"Oh, evil spirits come out.\"", "ANGELA: That's exactly what I thought.", "(Cut to an office - Cam, Angela, Hodgins, and Mr. Nigel-Murray watching a video of Patrick Stephenson)", "PATRICK: (on video) Yes, God makes demands of us! This money belongs to God, not me! Who will join me in giving God what is rightfully His? He is asking you now, at this moment. What is your answer? What is your answer to God when He calls your name? Will you deny Him?", "CAM: Pastor Patrick Stephenson.", "HODGINS: Disappeared six years ago.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, wow, I got it right. He disappeared from, uh, Vietnam or Thailand, one of those places.", "ANGELA: Yeah, on a world tour. His followers said he was the first of many who'd be taken up in the Rapture.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: So that guy went from that to being a woman pastor in a cottage on Chesapeake Bay?", "HODINGS: Some people would call that heaven.", "CAM: Amazing job, Angela.", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, check this out. (shows video of Patrick with his wife and son)", "HODINGS: She had a wife and son before she gave up being a he.", "(Cut to conference room - Brennan, Booth, and Cecilia Stephenson are talking)", "CECILIA: The Thai federal police were certain that Patrick had been robbed and killed.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, uh, it's a lot to absorb.", "BRENNAN: A sex-change operation in Bangkok, Thailand costs about $25,000.", "CECILIA: You want me to believe that Patrick stole money and then had himself transformed into a woman?", "BOOTH: It's a scenario.", "CECILIA: Patrick was a religious man. He would never offend God in this blatant manner.", "BRENNAN: The theft, you mean, because it's a sin?", "CECILIA: A sex-change operation. We are made in God's image, Dr. Brennan. Who are we to alter that image?", "BRENNAN: Obviously, you dye your hair, there's evidence of plastic surgery.", "CECILIA: That's different.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: How?", "BOOTH: It's augmenting God's work, not undoing it completely. How about that, Bones?", "BRENNAN: We have a DNA match between your husband and the deceased female found in the Chesapeake Bay. (to Booth) Do these people believe in DNA?", "BOOTH: Look, it seems as though your husband sent a check made out to the church every month.", "CECILIA: A hundred dollars a month? So Patrick was repaying us for the money he took?", "BRENNAN: Actually, it's more accurate to say that Patricia was repaying you for the money that Patrick took.", "BOOTH: During these intervening years, did your husband ever try to contact you?", "CECILIA: No. I believed the Thai police when they declared Patrick dead.", "BRENNAN: And your son?", "CECILIA: Ryan would definitely have told me if he'd heard from his father.", "BOOTH: Oh, we're gonna have to talk to him.", "CECILIA: The last I heard, he was in California. After his father vanished, Ryan took over preaching the Word of God to our flock...for about a year. Then he had a crisis of faith and left. Ryan is still in the throes of that crisis. I have faith that in the fullness of time, God will lead Ryan back to us.", "BOOTH: Before your husband...", "CECILIA: Became a woman?", "BOOTH: ...disappeared, did he have any reason to fear for his life?", "CECILIA: A man named Arthur Ford was arrested for assaulting Patrick.", "BOOTH: Why did he assault your husband?", "CECILIA: He had a son. The boy donated his entire trust fund to the church. His father thought that we'd brainwashed him or some such nonsense.", "BRENNAN: Did you give the money back?", "CECILIA: The boy wasn't brainwashed, Dr. Brennan. The Lord touched him.", "BOOTH: Exactly how much money did the Lord touch him for?", "(Cut to SUV - Booth and Brennan are riding, Booth is on his cell phone)", "BRENNAN: $5 million?", "BOOTH: (on phone) Great, thank you. (to Brennan) $5 million is a ton of moolah, but Arthur Ford is not a good suspect.", "BRENNAN: Why? What with the ton of moolah they practically stole from his son?", "BOOTH: That phone call I just had, Arthur Ford died of pancreatic cancer three years ago.", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "BOOTH: Yeah,\"Oh.\"", "BRENNAN: Do you think she loved her husband?", "BOOTH: Who?", "BRENNAN: Mrs. Stephenson.", "BOOTH: Oh, I don't know. She was plenty angry at him.", "BRENNAN: For getting a sex-change operation?", "BOOTH: No, no, no, before that. I mean, she only called him by his given name or referred to him as Ryan's father. Never, you know, \"my husband.\"", "BRENNAN: I call you \"Booth,\" and I like you just fine.", "BOOTH: Thank you, but we're not married. One angry father might be dead, but, uh, maybe there are more.", "BRENNAN: Patrick Stephenson wasn't murdered, Patricia Ludmuller was.", "BOOTH: You think the moment Patricia Ludmuller came to exist, Patrick Stephenson stopped?", "BRENNAN: When the butterfly emerges, does the caterpillar cease to exist?", "BOOTH: Okay, what are you, like some kind of kung fu master? Why don't we just figure out who killed this guy...gal, person, okay?", "BRENNAN: Would you like me just as much if I were a man?", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah, much better. I wouldn't have to be so polite and accommodating. How about you? Would you like me better if I was a woman?", "BRENNAN: No, I would not.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN: I'd be jealous that you might be prettier than I am.", "BOOTH: I would be, too. I'd be hot. Smokin' hot.", "(Cut to Sweets' office - Brennan, Booth, and Sweets are watching a video of Ryan Stephenson)", "RYAN: (on video, wearing a white suit) They're not gay, they're not homosexual. They are abominations unto the Lord. They are sodomites.", "BOOTH: This kid is Patrick Stephenson's son?", "SWEETS: It would explain why Patrick Stephenson chose to disappear the way he did.", "RYAN: (on video) Unashamed, they perform deeds that led them into the hands of an angry God.", "SWEETS: Now this is a fairly well-known moment, even though it was never televised. Watch.", "RYAN: (on video) It is this ignorance to the light of God that led to their doom. (shaken) I can't do this anymore. I can't. I preach against sins, sins I hate, but other sins such as greed...Greed. This is a palace, and I am a prince. I am not like my father...and I am not like my mother. I just want to do God's work, not perform on television...bilk you for your money. God bless us all. God forgive us all.", "SWEETS: Ironically, he was just like his father.", "BRENNAN: You think he switched sexes, too?", "SWEETS: No, no, they both turned their backs on this kind of commercial worship. They both went out into the world looking for redemption. I assume you're gonna search out Ryan Stephenson?", "BOOTH: I work at the FBI. That's what we do. It's a big country, and we'll try.", "SWEETS: Well, concentrate your search in hospitals, halfway houses, uh, rehab centers, jails.", "BRENNAN: You think things have gone that badly for him?", "SWEETS: No, no, he's not an inmate or a patient. Ryan Stephenson is literally atoning for the sins of his father. He left the palace for the street. He's following the teachings of Jesus.", "BOOTH: His mother says he's in California.", "SWEETS: No, she's wrong. This kid, he's the prodigal son. I'll bet he's within 20 miles of that giant church he fled as a confused adolescent.", "BOOTH: I'll take that bet.", "SWEETS: All right, how much?", "BOOTH: 20 bucks.", "SWEETS: Deal.", "BOOTH: Deal. 20 dollars.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: There you go.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. If you're making the wager, how come I get the money?", "SWEETS: You're the bank.", "BOOTH: You're the bank, lady.", "(Cut to Medico-Legal Lab, autopsy room - Cam, Hodgins, and Mr. Nigel-Murray are examining Patricia's skeleton on the table and tests on a computer screen)", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: This comminuted fracture on the pelvis is very similar to the blow to the skull. Both blows were inflicted while Patricia Ludmuller was still alive.", "CAM: She was swimming, she was struck on the head, she drowned. Then how were her fingers damaged and how was she cut in half?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Wow, you ask extremely difficult questions.", "HODGINS: The particulates found in both the skull wound and the pelvis are fiber-reinforced polymers and hydrocarbon secretion of coniferous trees.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Which is what, exactly?", "HODGINS: Fiberglass and resin.", "CAM: Okay, she was struck by a boat, the keel of a boat. Now we're getting somewhere. Anything on the metacarpals?", "HODGINS: You mean, could I tell what hit her fingers? No. It was either something that didn't leave traces or the water rubbed away all the evidence.", "CAM: We'll show these images to Dr. Brennan.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Why?", "HODGINS: She'll see something you missed.", "(Cut to FBI Building, interrogation room. Ryan Stephenson, wearing black clothing and tattoos, is sitting at a table. Booth and Sweets are standing outside the room, looking through the mirror.)", "SWEETS: So that's Ryan Stephenson?", "BOOTH: Yep. Found him in a detox center in Silver Spring.", "SWEETS: A patient?", "BOOTH: Nope, counselor. You called it.", "SWEETS: You owe me 20 bucks.", "BOOTH: Get it from Bones.", "RYAN: (Booth is now sitting at the table with Ryan) Are you sure it was my father?", "BOOTH: Yes, I'm positive.", "RYAN: They told me Dad died in Thailand.", "BOOTH: Well, he, uh...well, she seemed to have found peace up there on the island. (shows Ryan a picture of Patricia outside her church)", "RYAN: Named his church \"Inclusion\"?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "RYAN: He welcomed drug addicts, prostitutes, homosexuals.", "BOOTH: According to her congregation, who loved her, your father welcomed everyone. What? You afraid your father's gonna burn in hell?", "RYAN: No. No, I just wish I had the chance to know the new him...her. I'm a suspect? You thought perhaps I found out my father was a fraud who had a s*x change and that God asked me to kill him?", "BOOTH: Did God tell you to kill your dad?", "RYAN: I've changed. Do you believe in redemption?", "BOOTH: Yes, I do.", "RYAN: One of God's challenges to us is to see past the surface. (rips off the written-on paper cover of his bible, showing a white one just like Patricia's) To the deeper, essential nature which lies right beneath.", "BOOTH: You believe our bodies are like dustcovers?", "RYAN: That's exactly what I think, Agent Booth. Rip them off and see what's underneath. You see, all this time I thought my father was killed or...had abandoned me, and that's just not what happened. He didn't want to shake my faith. He was protecting me from the truth. He...he didn't want me to have to choose between him and God, and I love my father for that. I just hope God can forgive me for making him feel that way. Do you think I could have my father's Bible?", "(Reaches towards Patricia's bible)", "BOOTH: I'm afraid it's still evidence. But, hey, we figure out who killed your father, we'll make sure you get that.", "RYAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: You ever consider returning to the ministry, Ryan?", "(Cut to Medico-Legal lab, forensics platform. Cam, Mr. Nigel-Murray, Brennan, and Hodgins are standing around Patricia's skeleton.)", "CAM: Okay, so we know Patricia Ludmuller was run over by a boat.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: The boat struck her in two places--the skull and the pelvic bone.", "HODGINS: We found traces of enamel paint and stain filler, specifically Silver Neptune Mahogany and Lead Red Primer.", "CAM: It was a foggy day, she was out there swimming alone. This death could have been accidental.", "HODGINS: Or hit-and-run.", "BRENNAN: No. It was murder.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Only one percent of deaths are murders.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins, you found pieces of splintered wood from the keel, both in the skull and the pelvic bone.", "HODGINS: Yeah, from a wooden-keeled, shallow-hulled speedboat.", "BRENNAN: The splinters are embedded in the skull from this direction. (indicates on skeleton)", "SARYOAN: Struck from behind.", "BRENNAN: And in the pelvic bone from this direction, at a 90-degree angle.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: The boat hit her skull from behind, while she was facedown in the water. The second blow hit her from the side, and she was on her back in the water.", "CAM: She was struck once, then the boat turned around to make sure she was dead. Then hurt, disoriented, she reached up to clasp the gunwale?", "HODGINS: Someone smashed her fingers, forcing her to let go.", "CAM: Then she floated on her back.", "BRENNAN: The boat left, then turned around and...struck her again.(on phone) Booth? We know exactly how Patricia Ludmuller was murdered.", "(Cut to hall outside autopsy room. Mr. Nigel-Murray walks up to Cam as she exits room.)", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Excuse me, Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: Yes, Vincent.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Is there a way to quit working here without losing Dr. Brennan as my grad supervisor?", "CAM: I see. You'd like to quit this internship without losing your academic standing.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Yeah.", "CAM: Can I ask why?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: It's absolutely impossible to kiss your own elbow.", "CAM: And how is that relevant?", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: It isn't, Dr. Saroyan, but, um...I'm someone who loves knowledge, and all of you are very narrowly focused. It's a good focus, I know, catching murderers, but, um, all in all, I'd rather be like me than like you, so if you can help me out...", "CAM: I'll take care of it with Dr. Brennan. We'll move on to another intern.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Did you know that over 98% of people will respond with \"Thank you\" if you say, \"You're welcome\"?", "CAM: You're welcome.", "MR. NIGEL-MURRAY: Thank you.", "CAM: Vino Delectable.", "(Cut to SUV, Booth and Brennan are riding)", "BRENNAN: Based on size, wood grain and shape of the keel, Hodgins and Angela narrowed our search down to two models.", "BOOTH: It's a Lee Shore Island and a Bow Wave Runabout. Okay? So...How'd she end up split in two?", "BRENNAN: You mean, how did a man become a woman?", "BOOTH: No, Bones, her spine was severed.", "BRENNAN: Oh, the polymer Hodgins found was probably fishing line, so she...sinks, decomposes and the fishing line severs the spinal column.", "BOOTH: Oh, some fisherman thinks a big one got away. You think it means anything? She lived her life split in two, then in death, split in two again.", "BRENNAN: No. I don't think it means anything.", "BOOTH: I didn't think you would.", "(Cut to Maylor Island marina - law enforcement officers and Hodings are examining all the boats, the congregation is watching the activity, and Booth and Brennan are walking down to the boats)", "(music) There's a black river...It passes by my window...Ooh, late at night POLICE OFFICER: Hey, Dr. Hodgins, over here. Over here.", "HODGINS: What have you got?", "CONGREGATION: (quiet muttering) You think maybe it's him? That's JP's?", "BOOTH: Why is the church group in a tizzy?", "CHUCK: That's JP's boat.", "BOOTH: (walking with Brennan, JP, and JP's wife, Rita, to the boat) Wow, JP, this here is one fine vessel. Isn't it, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Look at that, huh? Flush mount, single lever control box. Check this out, Bones, huh? He's got a wiring harness under there. Bench seats with marine vinyl seat cushions. This is just classic. (to JP) How long have you had this for?", "JP: Years. I only started restoring it after I joined the church. The pastor said it'd be a good project for me.", "BRENNAN: Did you take it out the day Patricia Ludmuller disappeared?", "JP: No.", "HODGINS: (examining boat) This is definitely the boat that struck Patricia Ludmuller.", "JP: What?", "HODGINS: Twice.", "BOOTH: Couldn't deal with the rejection, JP?", "BRENNAN: Our psychological expert says that many men freak out when they find out the woman they've been sleeping with used to be a man.", "JP: We never slept together. I wanted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. But she refused. I'm still married.", "HODGINS: That why you ran her down? (examining side of boat) This is where you smashed her hand.", "JP: No! Will you stop saying these things?", "BRENNAN: She must have been in a lot of pain when she grabbed the side of the boat.", "HODGINS: I'm sure we'll find what he used to smash her fingers right here in the boat. (looks at fire extinguisher) My guess is this.", "BOOTH: (trying to sit in driver's seat) Bones, these seats--they aren't adjustable. How tall do you think JP is?", "BRENNAN: 190 to 195 centimeters.", "BOOTH: Just give me a simple height.", "BRENNAN: Six three or four?", "BOOTH: How about his wife?", "BRENNAN: Oh, perhaps 100 and... 5'2\".", "BOOTH: That's all I need. Thanks. JP, you didn't restore this boat for yourself, did you?", "JP: Pastor Patricia said I should do something for someone else. Someone I love.", "RITA: Then you should have built it for her. I waited for you to get out of prison, and I waited for you to get sober. And I waited for you to get tired of this stupid church. And all you did was fall in love with another woman.", "JP: I never slept with her, Rita.", "RITA: I don't believe that. I'll never believe that.", "BOOTH: Rita Gratton, I'm placing you under arrest...for the murder of Patricia Ludmuller.", "(Cut to Inclusion Church - Ryan is standing in front of Congregation, Booth and Brennan are in the audience)", "RYAN: I think I should begin my first sermon to you as kind of an introduction. My name is Ryan Stephenson. I'm a child of man. I'm a child of woman. But more importantly, I'm a child of God, and as I look around I see others like me. We don't look alike. None of us look alike. On the outside, we are gay and straight, black and white, fat and thin, man and woman, saint and sinner. Should I keep going, or do you guys catch my drift? But inside...inside we are all the same.", "BRENNAN: That is completely incorrect.", "BOOTH: Not now, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Our skeletons are wildly different or I wouldn't have a job.", "BOOTH: Just listen.", "RYAN: I am sorry that I didn't get to know my father--Patricia. But I hope I will find him...her...that redeemed human being...both in her old Bible (holds Patricia's bible) and, more importantly, in you, the people who she loved.", "BOOTH: Redemption through transformation, I get it. What do you believe in Bones?", "BRENNAN: Always swimming with a buddy.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: You gather your wisdom, I gather mine.", "BOOTH: Okay." ]

[ "Booth and Brennan investigate the scene where a body was uncovered during a police training exercise. The team identifies the body as a struggling inventor's father who had recently reunited with his son. But when a second body surfaces, the team is led on a trail of deception to find out who was the actual con-man in the inventor's life. Clark Edison returns to the lab, and he and Hodgins work on piecing together blueprints from one of the inventor's potentially valuable inventions. Meanwhile, Booth's younger brother Jared (guest star Brendan Fehr ) moves to D.C. to take a job at the Pentagon, and Brennan, smitten with Jared, agrees to go on a date with him to a White House function. Her date with Jared leads her to learn information about Booth's past and give her a far greater understanding into her partner's motives." ]

[ "\"The Conman in the Meth Lab\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open on a State Police training ground, an old quarry. A State Police Instructor stands facing a class of cadets)", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: Alright Cadets, listen up. What I am cradling, lovingly, in my arms is an M203 40mm canister launcher. (He holds it up to show the cadets). What's it for? Cadet Williams.", "CADET WILLIAMS: TEAR GAS.", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: That's right. That, (indicates a trailer nearby) is a meth lab, our boys took it three days ago. How do you think they did that?", "CADET WILLIAMS: TEAR GAS.", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: WRONG. And that is why we are here. I'm gonna demonstrate for you why we DON'T fire tear gas into a meth lab. (Aims weapon at trailer, fires shot through a window)", "(The trailer explodes in a fireball; something is flung from the trailer by the explosion and lands on the windshield of a vehicle in front of them. It is a charred body)", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: (hesitantly) We're gonna need a, er a fire extinguisher, then maybe some sort of ... trauma counselor.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Hoover building. Int. Sweets' Office. Sweets sits facing the door, waiting. Booth enters.)", "BOOTH: Hey 'm sorry I'm late. (We see Brennan sitting opposite Sweets. Booth sits next to her.)", "BRENNAN: Well according to Sweets chronic lateness is a way of asserting control.", "SWEETS: That's right.", "BOOTH: So you believe that?", "DR BENNAN: No, I figured there was traffic or something kept you at work.", "BOOTH: Exactly, work. Work Bones okay. I was putting the final touches on a case that's about to propel me into FBI legendary status.", "BRENNAN: Ah the big RICO case (Booth glares at her) ...that I'm not supposed to know anything about.", "SWEETS: Why don't I know about this case?", "BOOTH: (Whispers) Bones, its top secret.", "SWEETS: But you told Dr Brennan.", "BOOTH: She's my partner okay. (Turns to Brennan) Indictments any minute followed by a pay raise, possible parade and most definitely my face on a coin. (Indicates his face.)", "SWEETS: Just in time for your birthday.", "BOOTH: Which I will be spending in, Ha-wai-i. Uh look at that, ha, shark adventures. (Hands Sweets and Brennan brochures.)", "BRENNAN: Sharks? (Booths cell phone rings.)", "SWEETS Oh, I really wish that you wouldn't... BOOTH: (Answers phone) Booth.", "SWEETS: ... answer your phone.", "BOOTH: (Into phone) Jared. (He stands. To Sweets) Oh god, give me that. (Booth snatches the brochure from Sweets hand).", "BRENNAN: That's his brother.", "SWEETS: Booth has a brother.", "BOOTH: (Into phone) Sounds good. I'll see you then. (Closes phone and sits down)", "BRENNAN: Don't feel bad, I've never met him either.", "SWEETS: At least you knew he existed. (Booth and Brennan's cell phones ring simultaneously)", "BRENNAN: (To Sweets) Yeah. (Booth and Brennan stand and look at their phones. They turn to leave.)", "SWEETS: Okay that's enough for today because obviously you have to go look at some horribly dismembered... (Door slams behind Booth and Brennan) ...human remains.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The training ground. Brennan is examining the remains on the vehicle's windshield. The State Police Instructor approaches Booth who is nearby. FBI personnel are working in the background.)", "BOOTH: Any idea how the body got in there.", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: I guess anyone could have done it anytime in the last three days.", "BRENNAN: Male, 45 to 50 years old. Do we know where the rest of the remains are?", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: Yes, uh, one leg is over there, the other's over there and the arm is over there (he nods his head to indicate locations). Did I kill this man?", "BRENNAN: No.", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: Okay.", "BRENNAN: This man was shot in the chest.", "STATE POLICE INSTRUCTOR: Would you be all upset if I had a little cry? (He turns away).", "BOOTH: Yeah, take your time. (To Brennan) Uh, what's that there on the inside of his pocket?", "BRENNAN: (Removes a charred notebook and leafs through it) This man was obviously some kind of technical designer or engineer.", "BOOTH: Squint huh, one of your own.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Titles)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian. Int. Medico-Legal Lab. Hodgins and Angela are walking through the lab looking at several laminated sheets).", "HODGINS: So these are from the notebook found in our victim's windbreaker?", "ANGELA: Blueprints, schematics, sketches.", "HODGINS: Automatic toilet scrubber, looks like those little vacuum cleaners that move around on their own.", "ANGELA: Things in a toilet bowl should not move. Alright, look at this, this is a, a snow shovel with an attached heating device.", "HODGINS: Wow, our victim was an inventor.", "(Clark appears and clears his throat)", "ANGELA: Clark, hey. (She runs up and hugs him)", "CLARK: Oh god, here we go.", "ANGELA: Really, you came back, huh?", "HODGINS: You said you didn't want to work with us anymore.", "CLARK: No, I said my preferred working style tends towards the professional. See my tie? That's an indicator.", "ANGELA: Mmm-hmm, so why'd you come back then?", "(Angela turns to walk into her office, Hodgins and Clark follow).", "CLARK: Because this is the finest forensics facility in the world.", "HODGINS: Wanna fly MiGs, you fly MiG alley right.", "CLARK: A Korean War reference. You do know that we have a brand new war right? It's, uh, been in the news. (Angela looks closely at one sheet and puts the rest down).", "ANGELA: Yeah, I got a form letter here from the Patent Office.", "CLARK: Ah, good, work. (He reaches for the sheet, Angela pulls it away).", "ANGELA: Aren't you the least bit curious about whether Hodgins and I are back together or not?", "CLARK: And... not work. Am I the only one that can tell the difference here? Is there a name on that letter?", "ANGELA: No, there's a patent application number. We can find out who filed it.", "HODGINS: Coleoptera just started feeding on the Diptera larva meaning our victim died about three days ago.", "CLARK: Thank you. (He leaves the office).", "HODGINS: (Calling after Clark). Aren't you impressed that Angela and I can still work together so well? (Clark turns and pulls out his tie).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. The forensics platform. The remains are laid out on a table Brennan is examining them. She lifts the head up to look underneath).", "BRENNAN: Ah... there's no obvious exit wound.", "(We see Cam also looking at the remains.)", "CAM: That suggests a .22 or .25 caliber. I'll keep my eyes open.", "(Clark arrives at the platform).", "CLARK: Multiple points of possible ante-mortem in-bending with concomitant fracture. (He brings up x-rays on a screen)", "CAM: These abrasions are patterned. Repeated blows with a perforated surface?", "(Booth and Jared Booth ascend steps to the platform)", "JARED: Camille.", "(Cam approaches Booth and Jared).", "CAM: Jarhead, it's really you.", "JARED: Jarheads are marines. I'm a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, not an acceptable mistake.", "CAM: He's getting so big. Soon he'll be wanting a later curfew and a car of his own.", "BOOTH: Jared, this here is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan, that back there (indicates Clark) is a squint. Bones, this is my little brother. (Brennan removes her gloves and approaches Jared).", "JARED: Bones.", "BOOTH: (To Jared) Dr. Brennan. (Jared and Brennan shake hands).", "BRENNAN: Ah it is nice to meet you Jarhead. I can see the family resemblance. (She looks closely at his face). Your facial structure is even more symmetrical than Booth's.", "JARED: (To Booth.) Is she coming on to me?", "BOOTH: No it's just the way she talks.", "JARED: Right.", "CAM: So, the Pentagon huh?", "JARED: You're looking at the new head of Strategic Plans and Policy.", "BOOTH: Basically he runs the place. So, uh, Cam, Jared has a favor he'd like to ask.", "JARED: I can ask my own favors Seeley.", "BOOTH: Okay, go ahead. (Brennan moves away).", "JARED: There's a cocktail party tonight. I'm in need of a beautiful woman on my arm, preferably a very smart one.", "BRENNAN: I'm quite intelligent.", "BOOTH: No. Not that you're not intelligent, I mean you are intelligent.", "CAM: I would be delighted.", "(Angela comes to the platform with some papers)", "ANGELA: I've got a hit on the patent application, filed by somebody named Paul Stegman. (She hands Booth a document). I've got an address, there. Whoa, there's more than one Booth. I'm Angela. Montenegro.", "JARED: Jared Booth.", "ANGELA: Hi.", "BOOTH: Okay, uh Jared, uh Bones and I have to work on a case so... JARED: Yeah, no problem. I will, uh, grab a cab and get settled into my new place.", "BOOTH: Okay JARED: It was very nice to meet you all, and Cam I will pick you up at your place, say seven.", "CAM: Sounds good.", "JARED: Alright. (He leaves the platform).", "BRENNAN: (Aside to Angela.) Are you thinking of leaving lesbianism behind?", "ANGELA: I prefer not to be labeled, okay.", "BOOTH: (To Clark) Well, since you were last here Angela ran into her ex-girlfriend, who is now her ex-ex-girlfriend.", "CLARK: Well, the only ex I care about are X-rays.", "BOOTH: Right.", "CLARK: Apologize for the pun. (He leaves).", "BOOTH: Yeah, don't give up your day job kid. Okay Bones, what say we go and solve a murder, huh? Come on.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. the Stegman House. Paul and Lily Stegman sit on the couch. Booth and Brennan sit opposite)", "BOOTH: The remains are those of a man in his fifties, bearded.", "BRENNAN: Five foot ten, approximately 195 pounds.", "PAUL STEGMAN: That matches the description of my father.", "LILY STEGMAN: Was the, uh victim wearing a blue windbreaker with yellow piping? (Booth hands over a photo)", "PAUL STEGMAN: Yeah, that... that's my windbreaker. (He stands).", "LILY STEGMAN: He borrowed it Paul. One of your notebooks must have been in the pocket.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw your father?", "PAUL STEGMAN: Er... er, three days ago.", "LILY STEGMAN: Was he drunk? He used to go on binges.", "PAUL STEGMAN: Lily!", "BOOTH: How often did your, uh, father go on drinking binges?", "PAUL STEGMAN: We don't really know.", "LILY STEGMAN: Jim had just come back into our lives. He said he quit drinking.", "PAUL STEGMAN: He walked out on me and my mom when I was a kid.", "LILY STEGMAN: His father wrapped his car round a tree drunk driving, Paul was injured and so was his mom.", "PAUL STEGMAN: He broke both his legs, but, soon as he got crutches he was gone.", "BRENNAN: How did he find you again?", "PAUL STEGMAN: There was an article about me in this magazine. Dad read it, called me, said he had cleaned up his act, wanted to reconnect.", "(Lily Stegman passes a framed copy of the article to Brennan.)", "PAUL STEGMAN: So we invited him to stay with us.", "BOOTH: Did your father have any run-ins recently?", "PAUL STEGMAN: (Now seated again). Was my father murdered?", "BRENNAN: We think it may be foul play, yes.", "(Lily Stegman looks nervous)", "BOOTH: Mrs. Stegman?", "LILY STEGMAN: The day before your father disappeared I came home from school, I teach fifth grade, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I, I saw Mike leaving the house, he looked upset.", "BRENNAN: Who's Mike?", "PAUL STEGMAN: Mike Campbell. We used to be business partners, but we're still friends.", "LILY STEGMAN: Your dad said he caught Mike taking something from your workshop.", "PAUL STEGMAN: Yeah, we loan each other tools all the time. I mean I bet dad just didn't understand that.", "BOOTH: Well I'm gonna need Mike's number.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Mike Campbell's workshop. The door opens, Mike Campbell enters followed by Brennan.)", "BOOTH: (His voice is heard from outside.) So there, is it true that you borrowed his tools?", "(Booth enters. Brennan is looking around).", "MIKE CAMPBELL: What? I didn't borrow anything.", "BOOTH: Well then Mr. Campbell what were you doing at, uh the Stegman house?", "MIKE CAMPBELL: I went to confront his dad.", "BOOTH: 'Bout what?", "MIKE CAMPBELL: When I get stuck on one of my projects I like to do a little off track betting. Making predictions based on statistical models clears my head.", "(Booth looks to Brennan)", "BRENNAN: Makes complete sense.", "MIKE CAMPBELL: Yeah. So, uh, that day I go in and there's Paul's dad. He's placing bets and taking hits off of a flask.", "BRENNAN: Indicating that he hadn't really stopped drinking.", "MIKE CAMPBELL: I confronted him and then the old geezer slammed me against a wall and told me to mind my own business.", "BOOTH: So then you left?", "MIKE CAMPBELL: That's right. But then he disappeared so I figured why should I spoil Paul's last memories of his old man.", "BRENNAN: Your inventions are much more industrial than Paul Stegman's.", "MIKE CAMPBELL: Yeah, uh that's why we stopped being partners. Paul's more into toys and gadgets. (Brennan looks at a grating) Oh that is part of a pressurized industrial sieve. Its application's in the sewerage industry.", "BRENNAN: This grating could have caused the damage to Jim's face.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Booth's car. Booth is driving Brennan is in the passenger seat. His cell phone rings)", "BOOTH: (Answers cell on speaker) Booth.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Int. Cam's office. Cam sits at her desk, Jared leans. The scene cuts between speakers during the phone conversation.)", "JARED: Did you catch the murderer?", "BRENNAN: We subpoenaed a possible murder weapon.", "CAM: Not a bad day's work.", "JARED: More important than catching a murderer, I'm dateless tonight.", "BOOTH: What happened to Cam?", "CAM: Oddly I think it's more important to catch this murderer. I'm working.", "JARED: So who else you got for me Seeley?", "BOOTH: What am I, your pimp?", "JARED: Don't think I'm not appreciative.", "BRENNAN: Clark has everything under control so I could go.", "BOOTH: What?", "JARED: Really?", "BOOTH: Huh.", "JARED: Thank you.", "BOOTH: No.", "JARED: Wha... w, wait this is Bones, right? Not some ugly FBI woman with a moustache.", "BRENNAN: I don't have a moustache Jared.", "JARED: Seeley would you mind?", "BOOTH: Mmm No, why would I mind. 'S alright.", "JARED: Which means this is a great time to hang up.", "BOOTH: Um-hmm. (He flips his phone closed).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Int. Bone Room. Brennan enters in evening wear. She is fiddling with her earring)", "BRENNAN: What did you find?", "CLARK: It's what I didn't find that's interesting. (He notices her outfit) You have got to be kidding me.", "BRENNAN: What?", "CLARK: Oh nothing nothing, nothing Dr. Brennan, I just er didn't know that you were so er... The murder victim was supposed to be a long term heavy drinker, yet his bones show no signs of alcoholic osteoporosis.", "(We see that Clark is viewing X-rays on a large screen.)", "BRENNAN: There's no damage to the cancellous structure of the long bones either.", "CLARK: Furthermore, he was supposed to have broken his legs in a car accident approximately 25 years ago.", "BRENNAN: There's no signs of remodeling.", "CLARK: No. These legs were never broken. We misidentified the victim. He is not Paul Stegman's father.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Whitehouse: The Rose Garden. A cocktail party is underway. Jared in Naval uniform, drink in hand, stands talking to a group of other uniformed officers.)", "JARED: Thank you General, appreciated. Would you gentlemen excuse me please?", "(Jared leaves the group and moves towards a seated Brennan. A waiter passes and holds out a tray.)", "WAITER: Champagne?", "JARED: (Takes a glass) Thank you. (He hands champagne to Brennan.) Don't tell me you're sorry you came?", "BRENNAN: No, not at all. (Jared sits and clinks her glass.) It is not often I get to observe people this powerful in a relaxed situation.", "JARED: Don't be fooled, it's a school of piranhas in here. (They both laugh.)", "BRENNAN: You're good at this. They listen to you when you speak.", "JARED: You wanna know the secret? (He leans in close to her.) You have an incredibly beautiful, incredibly intelligent scientist slash novelist sitting alone waiting for you to bring her a drink. (Brennan laughs.) Nah, it's too corny.", "BRENNAN: Definitely. (Jared laughs) I was thinking how Booth would be bored, at a function like this.", "JARED: This kind of event would make Seeley very nervous. I don't mean he's incapable, my brother's very very capable. It's just, it's like Seeley's afraid of success. He stays in his comfort zone. Drove our dad nuts. (He sips his drink).", "BRENNAN: Really?", "JARED: Maybe that's what made him a good sniper. He doesn't like to be visible above the ridge line so he keeps his head low - instinct. Me on the other hand, well I cannot help but run that ridge.", "BRENNAN: Can you give me an example?", "(Jared leans in and kisses her)", "JARED: I bet you Seeley never took that risk.", "BRENNAN: Nope.", "JARED: (They clink glasses.) To a good night.", "BRENNAN: Yes, so far.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico Legal Lab. Cam is at her desk talking on speakerphone)", "CAM: I found a match for our victim's DNA on the felony database.", "BOOTH: (His voice over speakerphone) Have you seen Bones this morning?", "CAM: No, I think she and Jared had a late night. Open the attachment I just sent you.", "(Cut to: The Hoover building. Int. Booth's office. Booth is sat at his desk. He clicks and a mug-shot opens on his computer screen. The scene cuts between speakers during the phone conversation.)", "BOOTH: 'Kay, Anthony Pongetti, multiple fraud convictions.", "CAM: That's our victim.", "BOOTH: Right so, Pongetti pretends to be Stegman. Why?", "CAM: Reads that article on the inventor and figures there's something to cash in on.", "BOOTH: You know, Bones never gets in this late.", "CAM: You're the one who said you didn't mind them going out together.", "BOOTH: (Sighs) Bye. (Cam rolls her eyes.)", "(Colonel Wolchuck knocks and enters Booth's office).", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Special Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Well look at that, a full Colonel from the State Police.", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Ryan Wolchuck. (They shake hands).", "BOOTH: How are you?", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Mind if I sit?", "BOOTH: No, please have a seat. You know if this is about the RICO investigation I've been keeping you guys in the loop just like I promised. (They both sit).", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Well I'm here about the meth lab body.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: It's extremely embarrassing for the State Police that this homicide victim was blown up during a training exercise.", "BOOTH: Uh huh.", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: And the Superintendent, the Governor, various movers and shakers would look kindly on it if you, well if you simply neglected to give that small detail to the press.", "BOOTH: And if the press digs up that the bodies were burned and blown into several pieces it makes the FBI look sneaky.", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Well, the FBI is sneaky. (They both laugh)", "BOOTH: (Stands) Right. Not today sir.", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: (Stands) Careers are made when men of good intent help each other.", "BOOTH: I'll tell you what. Why don't we just tell the truth and take our lumps when we have to.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab: Brennan's office. Brennan sits at her desk, Clark stands by her shoulder.)", "BRENNAN: No signs of remodeling", "(CAM appears at the door)", "CAM: Did you just get in?", "BRENNAN: I haven't been to sleep.", "(CAM enters)", "CAM: Can I offer you a little insight into Booth's little brother.", "CLARK: Oh god, why am I always standing precisely in the wrong place?", "BRENNAN: I didn't have s*x with him Cam.", "(Angela enters)", "ANGELA: Didn't have s*x with who?", "CAM: Jared Booth.", "ANGELA: Good. (She hands a file to Clark, he leaves the room).", "BRENNAN: Why good?", "CAM: Because... because... ANGELA: Because he's Booth's little brother and it would just be a creepy way to have s*x with a Booth without having s*x with the real Booth.", "CAM: Kudos Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that aloud.", "BRENNAN: N... Jared is a real Booth.", "ANGELA: Hmmm. Jared's Booth lite. Booth is the real Booth.", "BRENNAN: W... what if Booth is Booth lite?", "(Clark re-enters the room with a file)", "CLARK: Angela found the real Jim Stegman.", "BRENNAN: Where?", "(Clark places an open file on her desk, they all move to see.)", "ANGELA: Here, in the Jeffersonian cold storage. (She takes a photo from the file and places it on top.) Only, he's known as John Doe 100803.", "CAM: Looks like a drowning victim.", "ANGELA: Only if he drowned after being shot in the heart.", "CLARK: How did you find him?", "ANGELA: The real Jim Stegman has DNA on file stemming from an assault charge twelve years ago. I ran a search and this popped up.", "BRENNAN: He's been a John Doe right here in the Jeffersonian, since last week.", "CAM: (reading from file) Washed up at Anacostia Naval Station. Last known address: Bowie, Maryland.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. a garage apartment: Jim Stegman's home. The door opens slowly to reveal Sheriff Wilkinson, Brennan and Booth outside.)", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Well this is Jim Stegman's place. Landlord says nobody's been in here since he went missing.", "(They duck under the opening door and enter.)", "BOOTH: This guy's gone missing twice and nobody reports it.", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: You say Jim ended up shot and dumped in the river?", "BOOTH: That's right, shot and dumped. (He looks around).", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Old Jim did not deserve that ending, what with quitting drinking and quit betting.", "BOOTH: Well, it looks like he fell off the, uh gambling bandwagon. (He is looking through a pile of betting slips) No sign of booze anywhere. Here. (He hands the slips to Brennan).", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: One of these is made out to Anthony Pongetti.", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Pongetti, well that old boy's another whole earful of wax.", "BOOTH: Bad egg?", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Black-hearted son of a bitch yeah. Had him in custody, oh, two months ago.", "BOOTH: For what?", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Running a bogus roof repair company. He'd give an estimate, 'n take a deposit then skedaddle. Mind I ask what's going on here in my own town?", "BOOTH: Yeah, the real Jim Stegman, he was shot, killed, dumped in the river a week ago. Pongetti shot and killed four days ago after pretending to be Jim Stegman.", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Sounds like maybe Pongetti killed Jim then committed, whatd'yamacallit, identity theft.", "(Booths cell phone buzzes. He has a text message: From: Jared Booth I'm in trouble Jared)", "BOOTH: Yeah uh, (He flips his phone closed). Thanks, Bones you know what? I gotta get you back to the lab okay? Thanks, ah Sheriff.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab. We see a large industrial looking machine.)", "HODGINS: Paul Stegman had 66 inventions in his notebook and this one was marked with a star.", "(Hodgins and Clark come into view. Hodgins tips a bin full of bottles and cans into the machine).", "CLARK: All it needed was a little more torque.", "HODGINS: Yeah well, if the gears can handle it. (Clark switches the machine on. It makes a loud noise as it processes the cans and bottle through 3 chutes. Brennan enters)", "BRENNAN: (Loudly over the noise) Clark I was wondering if you had a chance to look at the gr... (A bottle shoots from the machine and hits the wall close to where Brennan is standing. Clark winces and switches the machine off).", "BRENNAN: Is this one of Stegman's inventions?", "HODGINS: Yeah, it's a garbage sorter. And thanks to Clark it works.", "CLARK: I only indulged in this, uh diversion after he asked for help. I wasn't wasting time. I came in for the uh... the grating you got from Mike Campbell was not the weapon used to strike Anthony Pongetti in the face. (He picks up the grating and holds it out for Brennan.) The zygomatic bones were fractured. The screen, while it resembles stainless steel, is actually a rather malleable magnesium alloy. So for it to cause that much damage... BRENNAN: Yes, it would have been bent from the impact.", "CLARK: Yes. So what we're looking for is something heavier.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Street. Several police vehicles are parked with lights on. Jared Booth is stood leant against his car which has been in a crash. Booth's vehicle pulls up lights flashing and siren on. Booth gets out and approaches Jared.)", "VOICE OVER RADIO: ...dispatch. ...Jared Booth US Navy Lieutenant Commander over. Copy, notify will stand by for transport now... BOOTH: You alright?", "JARED: Yeah, yeah Seeley. I fell asleep at the wheel but, I'm okay.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Fell asleep.", "JARED: Local trooper here says he knows you.", "(State Police Colonel Wolchuck approaches)", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: Agent Booth.", "(Booth turns to face Colonel Wolchuck.)", "BOOTH: Colonel Wolchuck. Is that what we're going with here, he fell asleep at the wheel?", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: I'm sure you'll agree it's best just to tell the truth, take our lumps when we have to.", "JARED: They get me for DUI, I lose my job Seeley. I mean, I lose my whole career.", "BOOTH: (He turns back to Jared) Shut up. Shut up. Please. (To Colonel Wolchuck) Can I talk to you for a second?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Int. the Stegman House. Paul is seated at the dining table Lily stands behind him.)", "PAUL STEGMAN: The first body you found wasn't my father, but the second was?", "(We see Booth and Brennan are stood facing Paul Stegman.)", "LILY STEGMAN: So the man we actually met, the one who said he was Paul's father... BRENNAN: Was not, that's correct.", "PAUL STEGMAN: This Pongetti guy, did he kill my father?", "BOOTH: We don't know that yet.", "LILY STEGMAN: Were we in danger?", "BRENNAN: Well, Anthony Pongetti was... BOOTH: He was harmless. He was a conman, that's all.", "BRENNAN: Did Pongetti leave anything behind? Luggage, or papers?", "LILY STEGMAN: He left a duffel bag in the coat closet over there.", "BOOTH: Hey Bones, lets check it out.", "(They all move to the closet)", "PAUL STEGMAN: What did this man want from us?", "BRENNAN: We think it's possible he wanted to profit off of your inventions.", "(Brennan puts on latex gloves and reaches for the bag)", "PAUL STEGMAN: He'd be the first one that ever did that then.", "LILY STEGMAN: Don't do that to yourself.", "BOOTH: Well look at this thing, man, what is this thing, a robot?", "(Booth pulls something heavy out of the closet)", "PAUL STEGMAN: That's a battery operated electrostatic dust trap.", "BOOTH: Ha Ha.", "PAUL STEGMAN: I gave up on it months ago. Uh, it's... hold on, (he opens the dust trap to reveal a brown paper bag.) Oh... that's not supposed to be in there. (He removes the bag.)", "BOOTH: Oh ho ho, what is that?", "(Brennan takes the bag and takes out two thick wads of cash)", "LILY STEGMAN: Oh my god.", "BRENNAN: Twenty grand give or take.", "(Booth whistles)", "PAUL STEGMAN: Do we get to keep that?", "LILY STEGMAN: Paul, he wasn't even really your father.", "PAUL STEGMAN: So what?", "BOOTH: That is the best motive we've seen for murder yet. Right there.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Hoover building: Int. Booth's office. We see a TV, on screen Colonel Wolchuck is giving a press conference.)", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: My name is Colonel Ryan Wolchuck of the State Police Bureau of Criminal Investigations. I have the great pleasure of announcing today that the Grand Jury has handed down 62 indictments following the State Police crackdown on organized crime.", "(The shot pulls back and we see Booth sat on his desk watching the TV).", "COLONEL WOLCHUCK: This victory is the result of a six month RICO investigation by our department. The State Police would like to acknowledge the very fine support work of several FBI field officers.", "(Booth switches off the TV. He removes what we assume are travel tickets from his jacket pocket.)", "BOOTH: Yeah. Support. (He rips the tickets and throws them in the bin. He takes the Hawaii books from his desk and throws them in the bin too. He sighs and sits at desk. His cell phone rings, he checks it and flips it shut.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab: The Autopsy Room. Cam is working with some remains. Booth enters.)", "BOOTH: Hey Cam, what's up? What's so urgent?", "CAM: Your people found a fingerprint on the bag of money.", "BOOTH: I know, W... we don't have an ID. What, why is that so urgent. What's going on?", "CAM: What happened? (Booth looks puzzled. Cam returns the look) I watch TV, State Police getting all the glory for that big RICO case. What the hell?", "BOOTH: Relax, okay it's political. It came down way far above my head, right.", "CAM: Don't you lie to me big man, I'm your friend. I know where this came from, and it wasn't from on high.", "BOOTH: Cam, just let this one slip by. (She looks down, then nods. He leaves).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Hoover building. Int. an elevator. Jared is inside. The elevator doors open to reveal Sweets waiting. He enters, the doors close)", "SWEETS: You must be Agent Booth's brother.", "JARED: Yeah I'm Jared. You FBI?", "SWEETS: FBI? Uh yeah, yeah. Lance Sweets.", "JARED: Nice to meet you", "(We see Jared holding tickets for a Capitals hockey game.)", "SWEETS: Capitals.", "JARED: Yeah, I know Seeley's a Flyers man, but hey, when in Rome right? (The elevator doors open, he motions Sweets to exit first). Please.", "(They exit the elevator and walk towards Booth's office)", "SWEETS: Yeah, I still haven't gotten him anything for his birthday.", "JARED: Oh my brother doesn't like birthday presents. Anyways these are more like a thank you. Or, an apology. You know what it's like with brothers right?", "SWEETS: No, only child. (They enter Booth's empty office, Sweets waits in the doorway, Jared approaches the desk)", "JARED: Oh well having a big brother is like having an extra dad, only a dad who protects you from your real dad, and always thinks of you as a kid. (He leaves the tickets on Booth's desk, and turns back to Sweets).", "SWEETS: I have the same problem with Booth.", "JARED: There is nothing worse than somebody who always thinks they're right, and then they're right. Right? It's a pleasure Agent Sweets (they shake hands. Jared leaves)", "SWEETS: Doctor, not Agent.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico Legal Lab: The Bone Room. A skeleton is laid out on a light table. Clark walks around the table, Brennan stands at the skull end).", "CLARK: Jim Stegman was shot four times. I postulate that each gunshot was both precise and deliberate and did not occur in a rapid fire succession.", "BRENNAN: There's no way to tell that from the bones.", "CLARK: No, not from the bones, close range injuries. Middle of the foot, middle of the knee, middle of the shoulder, dead centre on the heart. (He points to indicate each injury). Small caliber weapon.", "BRENNAN: You believe this was done on purpose.", "CLARK: Yes, torture. Someone was trying to get information from this man.", "BRENNAN: Pure conjecture Dr Edison. But it has logical integrity.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover building: A corridor. Brennan and Booth are walking).", "BOOTH: So, three years ago Stegman and Pongetti, they were arrested. They were working some scam together.", "BRENNAN: Well, we already knew they were accomplices.", "BOOTH: Yeah well, there was a third guy involved. They ratted him out, he went to jail for five years.", "BRENNAN: Five year sentence, Three years with parole. Is the stool out?", "BOOTH: Is the stool out? No, you mean stoolie and the third guy wasn't the stoolie, Stegman and Pongetti were, 'kay. You go in there, I'll be in here. (Booth opens a door)", "(Cut to: Int. Interrogation Room. Steve Jackson is sat at the table. Booth enters).", "BOOTH: Steve Jackson. What the hell are you wearing?", "STEVE JACKSON: I'm on parole - they won't let me work on Wall Street. Course I'd make less there. What's this about?", "BOOTH: Stegman and Pongetti.", "STEVE JACKSON: Parole officer already told me to stay away from 'em.", "(Booth, still standing leans down on the chair opposite).", "BOOTH: But you didn't stay away from them did you Steve?", "STEVE JACKSON: Fine, I met with Stegman.", "BOOTH: Why?", "STEVE JACKSON: He was making amends, apologizing, in the program. One small parole violation and the FBI get involved.", "BOOTH: Stegman and Pongetti are both dead.", "STEVE JACKSON: You gotta be kidding.", "BOOTH: Shot. 'S okay, you can take a moment to rejoice in the death of your enemies. Go ahead.", "STEVE JACKSON: Pongetti's dead good, I'm glad. Stegman, he was okay.", "BOOTH: He ratted you out.", "STEVE JACKSON: Pongetti ratted me out. Stegman backed him is all. I don't begrudge. I have an alibi anyway.", "BOOTH: I didn't tell you when they died. (Jackson lifts his leg onto the table. He is wearing an electronic tag).", "STEVE JACKSON: Tracking device, somebody somewhere knows where I am 24 hours a day since I got out for the next two years.", "(Booth smiles then exits)", "(Cut to: Int. Observation Room. Brennan watches Steve Jackson through a two way mirror. She turns as Booth enters).", "BRENNAN: Do you think he did it?", "BOOTH: No, we'll check his whereabouts but, you know, I don't think so. Nice hat huh? Come on I'll take you back to the lab. (He turns to go).", "BRENNAN: What happened with your RICO bust? (Booth turns back to her).", "BOOTH: Nothing, why? Huh, you been talking to Cam?", "BRENNAN: No. Did you do something wrong?", "BOOTH: What d'you mean?", "BRENNAN: Well you didn't get the credit you deserve. What did you do?", "BOOTH: Life is not always about credit.", "BRENNAN: Well that's not what you said before. You said life was all about credit and you were going to Hawaii and they were going to put you on a coin.", "BOOTH: Uh, you know what, let's just forget about it. Okay Bones, forget about it. (He turns to go again).", "BRENNAN: Jared warned me that you tend to sabotage yourself. (Booth turns back).", "BOOTH: Jared said that?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. He said that you were afraid of success.", "BOOTH: Mmm, so basically I'm a loser.", "BRENNAN: No, he never said the word loser.", "BOOTH: Do you think I'm a loser, like that guy in there. Some clown in some dumb-ass uniform who basically can't do any better? Is that what you think?", "BRENNAN: Well, anthropologically, males tend to rank themselves into a hierarchy. There's no shame in not being at the top of the hierarchy.", "BOOTH: You're not answering the question Bones. Answer my question. (His cell phone rings, he answers). Booth.", "(Cut to: Int. Cam's Office. Cam is sat at her desk)", "CAM: Your forensic techs got an ID for the fingerprint on the money bag.", "BOOTH: Is it Stegman or Pongetti?", "CAM: Stegman, but not the one you're thinking of.", "BOOTH: The son?", "CAM: Nope, the wife. The fingerprint belongs to Lily Stegman. (We see her picture on Cam's computer screen.)", "BOOTH: Thanks. (He closes his cell phone). (To Brennan) The fingerprints belong to Lily Stegman. We know that because she works with kids.", "BRENNAN; She acted like she'd never seen that money before.", "BOOTH: Well, she was lying. (He turns to go).", "BRENNAN: Booth... BOOTH: Bones, lets just go and do our work. (He exits; she grabs her bag and follows.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's office. Lily Stegman is sitting in front of the desk, Booth and Brennan are standing.)", "LILY STEGMAN: I thought he was Paul's father I would never hurt him.", "BRENNAN: We found your fingerprints on the money.", "BOOTH: Can you explain that.", "LILY STEGMAN; I'm ashamed.", "BOOTH: Well, whatever you're ashamed of believe me murder is worse. (He sits at his desk).", "LILY STEGMAN: The day after Jim, the man we thought was Jim, the day after he disappeared a package arrived for him. When he didn't come back I started thinking he meant for us to open it.", "BRENNAN: That doesn't make any sense.", "BOOTH: No, I understand. He's gone, it's sitting there, maybe he meant for you to have it.", "LILY STEGMAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Plus, you have a family to take care of. We do whatever we can for family.", "LILY STEGMAN: I Opened it. It was full of cash... (She opens her bag and removes a piece of paper. Brennan takes it) and, a note.", "BRENNAN: (Reading from the note) Jim do me a big favor. Hold onto this until I can get it back from you. Help yourself to whatever you need. P.", "BOOTH: P. Pongetti.", "LILY STEGMAN: I know I should have called the police and when you came I should have told you, but by then... BOOTH: You needed the money and in a way you felt like you earned it for taking an old man in. Family.", "LILY STEGMAN: My teaching salary barely pays the bills and we're trying to have another child.", "BRENNAN: So you were the one that hid the money in the dust trap thing.", "LILY STEGMAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: What does your husband know?", "LILY STEGMAN: Nothing. I promise.", "BRENNAN: She could just be protecting him.", "LILY STEGMAN: I am, by not letting him know about the money you found, or the... rest of it.", "BOOTH: The rest of it?", "BRENNAN: There's more?", "LILY STEGMAN: Yes, I put it into our safety deposit box.", "BOOTH: (He leans forwards.) Okay, how much?", "LILY STEGMAN: 150 thousand dollars. (Booth and Brennan exchange a look).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Booth's car. Booth is driving; Brennan is in the passenger seat.)", "BOOTH: So I figured what happened is that Pongetti got his cash in some, you know, illegal way. Maybe in a way that could get him killed. Stegman, he's about to go visit his son.", "BRENNAN: So Pongetti sends the cash to his friend for safety.", "BOOTH: Then Stegman gets killed. So to go get that cash Pongetti decides to pretend to be Stegman.", "BRENNAN: People make stupid irrational decisions. (Her cell phone rings. She answers). Brennan.", "BOOTH: They act from the heart sometimes Bones, 's not a crime.", "BRENNAN: (Into phone) Okay I'll be right there. (She ends call. To Booth.) Cam needs me.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Medico-Legal Lab: The Mezzanine. Cam leans on the balcony waiting.)", "BRENNAN: Hello (Brennan arrives).", "CAM: Dr. Brennan. I don't want you to think this is an intervention.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "(Sweets arrives with a tray of coffee cups)", "SWEETS: An intervention is when a group of loved ones bands together to help one of their own make a difficult decision.", "CAM: Oh, then, then it is an intervention.", "BRENNAN: Are you my loved ones?", "SWEETS: I was troubled by a conversation I had with Jared Booth.", "CAM: Sweets came to me with some theories about Booth's family life, and he pretty much nailed it.", "BRENNAN: Nailed what.", "SWEETS: Sit down. (They all sit; he places the tray on the table.) Booth and Jared are children of a physically abusive alcoholic father.", "CAM: Booth's been digging Jared out of trouble since they were kids. Jared always comes up smelling like a rose and Booth takes the hit.", "SWEETS: He's denying his brother the opportunity to take responsibility and learn from his own mistakes.", "BRENNAN: You have no evidence of that.", "CAM: I've known the Booth boys for 15 years.", "SWEETS: Now it's natural to be protective of a younger sibling. Of course Jared is a grown man, an intelligent, talented, capable adult.", "BRENNAN: I like him very much.", "CAM: Yah? Well, cut it out.", "BRENNAN: Booth shouldn't be threatened by the fact that his brother is more successful.", "CAM: I am absolutely certain that however it is Booth lost all the credit for that RICO bust, it's because of Jared.", "BRENNAN: We're all scientists here, right? Well, not you. (She points to SWEETS). What is your evidence?", "CAM: How about this, the last time I told Booth what I thought of Jared, he didn't speak to me for six months.", "BRENNAN: That is an anecdote.", "CAM: We're saying maybe Booth deserves the benefit of the doubt here, until all the evidence is in.", "BRENNAN: Evidence, I am comfortable with evidence.", "CAM: Okay, here's some evidence. The bullets that killed both Stegman and Pongetti were fired from the same gun.", "BRENNAN: Which suggests they were killed by the same person. Thank you.", "CAM: Should I tell Booth?", "BRENNAN: No, I'll do it. (She stands and leaves).", "(Cam and Sweets look after her.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Founding Fathers bar. Jared sits on a barstool sipping a drink. Brennan enters, they kiss on the cheek.)", "BRENNAN: Thanks for coming Jared.", "JARED: When a beautiful woman asks me out for lunch...", "(Brennan's cell phone rings. She looks - the call is from Booth)", "JARED: Something wrong?", "(She cancels the call)", "BRENNAN: I need to know the truth.", "JARED: I've heard that about you.", "BRENNAN: Do you know anything about Booth losing credit on the RICO case.", "JARED: No. What, I mean that's the first I've heard of it.", "BRENNAN: People are telling me that somehow all the credit went to the State Police because of you. Is that possible?", "JARED: (He sighs) Oh.", "BRENNAN: So, it is possible.", "JARED: What did he say to you?", "BRENNAN: Nothing.", "JARED: I think this is something between brothers. No offense.", "(Brennan starts to leave)", "JARED: Tempe.", "(Brennan turns back to him).", "BRENNAN: You took advantage of him. You know you made me think that he's a loser. And what really makes me angry is that I believed you. You know I wouldn't blame Booth if he never spoke to me again. You're the loser. (She leaves.)", "(She comes back and pushes Jared completely off his bar stool. She leaves. Jared gets up.)", "BARTENDER: You alright?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Booth's car. Booth is driving; Brennan is in the passenger seat.)", "BOOTH: 'Kay look, why didn't you pick up? Were you in the bathroom or something?", "BRENNAN: To be honest I was sp... BOOTH: Okay never mind, just never mind alright. Agents recovered the rest of the cash from Lily Stegman's safety deposit box, right. The bills were bundled with evidence bands.", "BRENNAN: What does that mean?", "BOOTH: Well the money is from the County Sheriff's Headquarters in Bowie. It was confiscated during a drug bust.", "BRENNAN: Oh, so drug money.", "BOOTH: It was scheduled for transfer to the Federal Reserve two weeks ago. A driver from the Reserve shows up, he flashes his credentials, drives off with the dough. Forty minutes later the real driver shows up.", "BRENNAN: Oh, so the fake one was Pongetti?", "BOOTH: Well it had to be, right? I mean jeez, he got away with over 200 grand.", "BRENNAN: But he was in custody there, how come no one recognized him?", "(Booth looks at her)", "BRENNAN: What? It's a logical question.", "BOOTH: Ah, you know what, you are a genius, hold on for a second.", "BRENNAN: Why am I a genius?", "(He does a u-turn)", "BOOTH: Why? Because I let that big Sheriff know that we found 20 thousand dollars at Stegman's house.", "BRENNAN: Why is that bad?", "BOOTH: Because if he was in it with Pongetti then he thinks he knows where the rest of the money is. Thinks.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Stegman's entrance hall. Lily and Paul Stegman are stood together.)", "LILY STEGMAN: We turned everything over to the FBI.", "PAUL STEGMAN: All the money, everything the guy touched.", "(The view pulls back to reveal the Stegman's son stood with his father and Sheriff Wilkinson stood by the front door.)", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Well, probably just a break down in jurisdictional communication. I'll check with the FBI.", "(Sheriff Wilkinson exits the house onto the front porch.)", "BOOTH: (We hear his voice from outside.) Why don't you check with me right now, huh?", "(We see Booth standing on the sidewalk with his hands behind his back.)", "BOOTH: Better yet, (he brings a shotgun from behind his back) why don't you just come with us now?", "(In the street outside the Stegman's home Brennan is peering through the window of Sheriff Wilkinson's patrol car, where she sees a grill)", "BRENNAN: The grating is what hit Pongetti in the face.", "BOOTH: Old school, huh? Perp was handcuffed in the back, sped up, slammed on breaks, slam, sped, slam, sped.", "BRENNAN: He couldn't protect his face.", "(Sheriff Wilkinson pulls Lily Stegman towards him and grabs her around the neck. He draws his gun. Booth aims his shotgun at Sheriff Wilkinson)", "PAUL STEGMAN: No, stop, let her go.", "STEGMAN BOY: Mommy.", "BRENNAN: Mr. Stegman, take your little boy inside. (Brennan draws Booths sidearm from its holster.)", "LILY STEGMAN: Do it Honey, please.", "(Paul Stegman enters the house with his son and shuts the door.)", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Now this is what's gonna happen. You're gonna get in your vehicle and drive away, and I'm gonna do the same thing, and everybody lives and everybody's happy.", "BRENNAN: Well, th... that sounds like a good idea.", "BOOTH: No, not a good idea, huh. You drive off with the evidence. Not gonna happen.", "(Paul Stegman opens the door and starts towards Sheriff Wilkinson, who punches him in the face, he falls down.)", "LILY STEGMAN: Paul! Oh god!", "(Sheriff Wilkinson begins to descend the porch steps pulling Lily Stegman with him.)", "SHERIFF WILKINSON: Agent Booth... you are... by far... the worst hostage negotiator, I have ever run into. (He starts walking backwards with Lily Stegman towards his car) Don't you know you're supposed to talk? Disorient, distract the perpetrator.", "(Booth and Brennan advance towards Sheriff Wilkinson with their guns raised.)", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Not now Bones.", "BRENNAN: You want me to try and shoot him.", "BOOTH: No.", "BRENNAN: Why? I'm a good shot.", "BOOTH: You are not a good shot.", "BRENNAN: Wha...? You are. (She turns to Booth.) You know, maybe if we switched weapons you could hit him right between the eyes.", "(Sheriff Wilkinson shoots his gun. Brennan falls to the ground clutching her arm. Sheriff Wilkinson drags Lily Stegman into his car leaving the drivers door open.)", "BOOTH: Bones, Bones are you okay?", "(Sheriff Wilkinson, starts the car and begins driving away. Booth looks back to Brennan as he starts to chase the car.)", "BOOTH: Bones?", "BRENNAN: I'm okay.", "(Sheriff Wilkinson pushes Lily Stegman from the moving vehicle, she rolls on the ground. Booth chases the car shooting at it four times. The car crashes into a parked vehicle. Paul Stegman runs from the house towards Lily Stegman.)", "PAUL STEGMAN: Lily!", "LILY STEGMAN: I'm okay.", "(Booth approaches Sheriff Wilkinson's car with his shotgun still raised. We see Sheriff Wilkinson slumped over the steering wheel with bullet wounds in his back. Booth looks over at Brennan who is now standing.)", "PAUL STEGMAN: Are you okay? Huh?", "(PAUL and LILY STEGMAN hug. They walk towards their house).", "LILY STEGMAN: I'm okay.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Founding Fathers Bar. Jared stands by a pillar watching Brennan as she begins a toast. Booth sits at the corner of the bar. Brennan's right arm is in a sling, she holds a glass of wine).", "BRENNAN: I would like to propose a toast, to my partner, Seeley Booth. (We see the backs of Angela, Clark and others sat at a table facing Brennan).", "ALL: To Booth.", "BRENNAN: I know who he is, but I forget sometimes, because... because, he never shines a light on himself. He shines it on other people.", "BOOTH: Yeah, right after I conked them on the head with it.", "(There are quiet chuckles from the table of friends.)", "BRENNAN: Anthropology teaches us that, the alpha male is the man, wearing the crown, displaying the most colorful plumage and the shiniest baubles, he stands out from the others. But I now think that anthropology may have it wrong (Booth looks puzzled.) In working with Booth... (She turns to face him.) I have come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man who is always there for friends and family, that's the real alpha male. And I promise, that my eyes will never be caught by those... shiny baubles again. Happy birthday. (She clinks glasses with Booth).", "ALL: Happy birthday Booth. (They raise their glasses).", "BOOTH: Thanks Bones, Thank you.", "(Brennan pulls Booth from his seat.)", "BOOTH: Uh Bones, alright. What are we doing?", "BRENNAN: C'mere.", "BOOTH: What.", "BRENNAN: Just c'mere for a second. (She leads him to a quieter area further along the bar.) What you're doing for your brother, isn't fair.", "BOOTH: Come on Bones, don't get me mad... at you, after that great speech right. Not after I got you shot.", "BRENNAN: You didn't get me shot, I got me shot.", "BOOTH: (He sits). I don't wanna talk about my brother.", "BRENNAN: Would you prefer Sweets do it?", "(They look along the bar to see Sweets. He raises his glass to them. Booth turns back to Brennan.)", "BOOTH: I'm listening.", "BRENNAN: Well I forgot all the psychological stuff but basically, when you... rescue somebody all the time. If you keep getting them out on bail... BOOTH: Bail them out Bones, if you bail them out.", "BRENNAN: You're thwarting their ability to help themselves. Now you're angry.", "BOOTH: Come on Bones, you have to admit, getting a psychological lesson from you is like... BRENNAN: Getting and anthropology lesson from you.", "BOOTH: The RICO case, I traded my one shot at glory to keep my brother from being arrested....... for drunk driving.", "BRENNAN: Booth! You know, what if he does it again? What if he kills someone next time? You shouldn't have done that.", "BOOTH: Right. Says the woman who got her father off murder charges. (He sighs.) Face it, we do things for family.", "BRENNAN: You're right, you're totally right.", "(We see Jared at the bar chatting and laughing with a young woman.)", "BOOTH: No, I'm not BRENNAN: What? Why?", "(Booth stands)", "BOOTH: There's no risk that your father will kill again. (He walks through the bar towards Jared) Jared.", "(Jared stands and follows Booth. They exit the bar)", "JARED: You uh, bringing me out here to give me advice on your partner, because I think that ship has sailed.", "BOOTH: Well no. It's, uh what I gotta do. I, uh, I gotta stop. Do you understand?", "JARED: Stop?", "BOOTH: Yeah, and you should stop too.", "JARED: I gotta stop what?", "BOOTH: The drinking: Stop it.", "JARED: I'll take that under advisement. (He turns to re-enter the bar).", "BOOTH: I'm serious Jared. No more stepping in to make things go away.", "JARED: (Angrily) I carry my own water, Seeley. Now you should go back inside and enjoy your birthday party. (He drains his drink and waves the glass in Booth's face)", "BOOTH: Right.", "JARED: Cheers. (He re-enters the bar)", "BOOTH: Yeah, happy birthday to me. (He punches the side of a nearby bus shelter. He sits at the bus shelter).", "(Brennan appears holding a plate of cake with her good arm. She stops in front of Booth).", "BRENNAN: Okay? You gonna come back in for cake?", "BOOTH: Bones, I just need some time.", "BRENNAN: Do you need time and space?", "BOOTH: (Smiling) Just some time.", "(Brennan sits next to Booth. She holds up the plate and they each take a fork and a forkful of cake.)", "BOOTH: My dad drank.", "(He takes a bite of cake)." ]

[ "Booth and Brennan are en route to China where Brennan has been summoned to help identify pre-historic anthropological remains with Booth in tow to watch over her highly sensitive equipment. However, their flight is disrupted when a flight attendant discovers a fully cooked human body in the plane's industrial microwave. Booth and Brennan connect with the team back in the U.S. via internet connection and they use Brennan's high-tech equipment, as well as odds and ends from the airline passengers, to send evidence back to the Jeffersonian for processing. When they identify the victim as a travel writer working on a controversial story about airline pilots, Booth and Brennan must race against the clock and solve the murder before the plane lands in China and they lose their jurisdiction over the case. Meanwhile, back in the states, Angela and Roxie's relationship progresses as Hodgins tries to move on." ]

[ "\"The Passenger in the Oven\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: Airplane exterior; night. Interior of airplane. Camera pans through first class; BRENNAN's chair is reclined, and she is sleeping with a smile and wearing an eye mask. Pan through coach shows BOOTH sitting in the middle of the plane between two elderly women, one sleeping with her head on his shoulder. BOOTH looks at the sleeping woman, then to his right; the other woman is reading.)", "BOOTH: Excuse me-", "CHARLOTTE: (interrupts) Just a minute.", "BOOTH: (sighs) Ma'am, this woman is asleep next to me and I really have to get out.", "CHARLOTTE: (laughs and closes book) It's just that this book is so exciting. Do you like mysteries?", "BOOTH: Well, I-I'm an FBI agent, so mysteries are sort of my thing.", "CHARLOTTE: (whispers) I'm an aficionado myself. I'm here with NADINE. (points to sleeping woman) She's plotting the perfect murder. For years now. But just for fun.", "BOOTH: Right, you can tell me all about it later; I've really got to get out. I gotta go.", "CHARLOTTE: Oh, right. When you gotta go, you gotta go.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (eases NADINE's head off of his shoulder and stands, then stands and shuffles toward CHARLOTTE.) Sorry. (steps over her legs quickly and walks toward first class)", "(Cut to first class; a boy is stealing small bottles of liquor from a serving cart. BOOTH walks through curtain separating classes and, seeing the boy, walks up to his seat.)", "BOOTH: Hey. How old are you? (shows boy his badge)", "ELI: (sighs) Come on, we're at thirty-six thousand feet, that's outside the three-mile limit.", "BOOTH: This is American soil until we touch down in Shanghai, alright? So come on, hand them over.", "(ELI gives the bottles to BOOTH. ELI's father turns in his seat and looks back at them.)", "ARTHUR BILBREY: ELI, what are you doing now? You know your mother isn't feeling well. (to BOOTH) Is he bothering you?", "(BOOTH and ELI exchange looks.)", "BOOTH: No. We were just talking. That's all.", "ELI: Yeah, you can sleep, Dad. It's all good.", "(BILBREY grunts and sits back in his seat. BOOTH walks backward while pointing two fingers towards his eyes and one finger toward ELI. ELI raises his hands in mock surrender. BOOTH walks to empty seat next to BRENNAN, looks around, and sits down. He opens a plastic bag of complimentary items and removes a slipper. He looks at BRENNAN, smiles, and puts the slipper over his hand before reaching across BRENNAN's reclined seat and moving his fingers like a puppet in her face and making a barking noise.)", "BRENNAN: Huh? What? Booth...(removes eye mask)", "BOOTH: Wow, look at this. I don't even get a hot meal, and you get pajamas and slippers? (waves hand with slipper on it)", "BRENNAN: The basic amenities. The flight is over thirteen hours.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I know, I spent the last eight of them back there in Gitmo. (makes excited noise as he reclines his seat) Yes!", "BRENNAN: You know you aren't allowed up here. (takes slipper from BOOTH)", "BOOTH: What? We're, uh, we're a team, okay? This is government business. You shouldn't have paid for your own ticket, you know. (BOOTH'S seat starts vibrating) Ooh, a massager! (BOOTH makes buzzing noises.)", "FLIGHT ATTENDANT KATE MCNUTT: (walks up to BOOTH) Sir, you need to return to coach. (Booth opens his eyes and looks at MCNUTT, who nods.)", "BOOTH: (buzzes) See, we're partners, we like being together.", "MCNUTT: Your sexual relationship's not relevant, sir. This is first class.", "BRENNAN: Why does everyone else think we have a sexual relationship when we barely even touch each other?", "BOOTH: Oh, I got it. (stands) All right, here we go. (brandishes badge) FBI Special Agent Seeley BOOTH, this here's my partner, Dr. Temperance BRENNAN, and, uh, she is actually going to China-well, we're going to China, and she's going to help the Chinese government help identify some real old Chinese dude.", "BRENNAN: (is sitting up fully) Bones were found in a wuhan cave, over forty thousand years old.", "BOOTH: According to title eighteen, section eighteen thirty-one, I must protect the proprietary American technology Dr. BRENNAN will be using. So, it is my patriotic duty to be right next to her, (sits down) here, like a bodyguard. (reclines)", "BRENNAN: This trip is taking me back to my real passion. (reclines) Prehistoric anthropological discoveries.", "MCNUTT: Fascinating. Sir.", "(BOOTH looks at BRENNAN, confused.)", "MCNUTT: You have to go back to your seat.", "BRENNAN: Sorry. (pulls down eye mask)", "(BOOTH turns off the vibrator and sits up.)", "MCNUTT: Right now.", "BOOTH: Right. (stands up and walks back toward coach, then quickly leans over seats and pokes BRENNAN) Bones. Bones!", "(BRENNAN removes eye mask)", "BOOTH: What do you mean, your \"real passion\"? I thought us working together was your real passion.", "MCNUTT: You two can take up this fight again after we land.", "BOOTH: (sighs) All right. (takes complimentary bag)", "MCNUTT: Watch your head.", "BOOTH: (hits head) Ow...", "MCNUTT: (weak laugh)", "BRENNAN: You okay?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm fine. (rubs back of head and walks backward toward curtain, MCNUTT following.)", "(Camera pans to ELI stealing another bottle and drinking from it.)", "BOOTH: (in background) Kicking me back to the cattle class. You know, that's not right.", "MCNUTT: Enjoy your flight, sir. (curtain closes)", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian's Medico Legal Lab-just outside HODGINS' area. SWEETS, HODGINS and ANGELA are walking toward the building's entrance, coats and bags in hand.)", "SWEETS: So, the cat's away and it's TGIF, huh?", "(Camera sweeps to CAM, who converges with the group)", "CAM: I'm right here. I'm the cat.", "SWEETS: (puts on his coat) Well, in this case I think that Dr. BRENNAN is the cat.", "CAM: I'm the cat, who's giving the mice the rest of the day off.", "SWEETS: Hey, so, Daisy and I were wondering if anyone would like to join us for a little competitive karaoke this evening. Huh? Some pre-weekend fun, huh? (slaps HODGINS on the shoulder) I'm singing \"Lime in the Coconut.\"", "HODGINS: Sorry, I'm going to be biking the Virginia Creeper Trail.", "ANGELA: Roxie and I are going to an artists' retreat in Pond View.", "CAM: And I'm driving ANGELA to the train station.", "ANGELA: You are?", "CAM: Yes, I am.", "ANGELA: Oh.", "(Roxie walks up to group and puts a hand on ANGELA's shoulder.)", "ROXIE: Ready to go, Angie?", "ANGELA: Hey, yeah, I'm all set.", "ROXIE: I haven't been to one of these retreats since we were in school.", "ANGELA: Well, I'll see you all on Monday.", "CAM: Have a good weekend! (walks away with ANGELA and ROXIE)", "(SWEETS waves and starts to walk away. HODGINS lightly slaps the back of his hand against SWEETS' chest and stops him.)", "HODGINS: What do you think?", "SWEETS: What do you think?", "HODGINS: Oh, don't, don't do that, the whole \"answer a question with a question\" thing.", "SWEETS: Why does whatever's going on between ROXIE and ANGELA matter to you?", "HODGINS: Because ANGELA and I were engaged. And now she's with a woman. It matters because...(SWEETS nods) what? It just matters.", "SWEETS: Well, don't you feel that both of you are entitled to your own private lives?", "HODGINS: Stop asking me questions.", "SWEETS: Do you feel threatened?", "HODGINS: Okay, that's it, I'm out of here. (walks away)", "SWEETS: I...You know, a little karaoke might help you unwind. Especially when I'm singing. I've got a beautiful tenor.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach.)", "BOOTH: (turns to CHARLOTTE) Excuse me. (stands and exits row)", "CHARLOTTE: You should get your prostate checked.", "(BOOTH peeks through curtain. MCNUTT is at the flight attendant station.)", "MCNUTT: Uh, this damn thing. (walks downstairs)", "(BOOTH walks through curtain and toward BRENNAN. He takes a bottle from ELI as he passes, then sits down next to BRENNAN.)", "BOOTH: (whispering) Bones. Bones.", "BRENNAN: (takes off eye mask and headphones) Huh. You're going to get in trouble.", "BOOTH: She's downstairs. You didn't answer me before. You tired of working with me?", "BRENNAN: (sitting up) No, it's not that. But the identification and analysis of ancient remains, that's why I became a forensic anthropologist.", "BOOTH: You're bored. Hm. Spark is gone.", "BRENNAN: I'm a scientist first.", "BOOTH: Right. (small laugh) Yeah. Scientist first. I, I get it. I understand. (makes a \"whew\" noise and starts putting on an eye mask)", "BRENNAN: Hey. If you get caught up here, does that make me an accessory?", "BOOTH: An accessory to an upgrade. (pulls eye mask down over eyes and whistles as he reclines and seat vibrates) Oh ho, yeah! That is heaven.", "(BRENNAN smiles, reclines and pulls down her eye mask. A scream is heard, and BOOTH and BRENNAN sit up quickly and remove their eye masks before standing.)", "BOOTH: Bones. Down there.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN run down the stairs into the kitchen galley.)", "BOOTH: Oh my God.", "(MCNUTT is standing next to a large microwave oven and pointing into it at a victim's body.)", "BOOTH: That's a, uh, it's a body, right?", "(Opening credits)", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior; airplane interior, attendant station)", "BOOTH: Can you account for all your people, Captain Blake?", "BLAKE: Me and the co-pilot, yeah. Cabin crew, you'd have to Miss MCNUTT.", "BRENNAN: Well, she isn't speaking.", "BOOTH: Bones, not everyone brushes off these horrible experiences, okay? Let me try this, okay? (walks over to MCNUTT, who is sitting and staring ahead blankly)", "BOOTH: What's your name? (MCNUTT doesn't reply. BOOTH looks at BRENNAN, then BLAKE, before leaning down.) What's your first name?", "MCNUTT: Kathryn. KATE.", "BOOTH: KATE! 'Kay, KATE. What you saw down there, you don't ever have to see again. Are you missing any people?", "MCNUTT: (holds BOOTH's tie and pets it, then shakes her head) I can still smell-", "BRENNAN: (interrupting) It's very much like roast pork.", "BOOTH: Bones...(hands MCNUTT a bottle of water) Just want you to relax, have a little water. We might need your help.", "BLAKE: Need her help? For what? We fly to China and call the cops.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, you're going to have to turn this puppy around. We're going to head back home.", "BLAKE: No can do. We passed the point of no return fuel-wise twenty-three minutes ago.", "BRENNAN: The polar route takes us over Greenland. Can we land there to refuel?", "BLAKE: Not with the weather they're having. I'm sorry, but our next stop is Shanghai, China. Don't worry, they have cops there. Lots of them.", "BOOTH: Well, until these wheels touch down, this plane is sovereign US territory.", "BLAKE: Look, FBI guy, you do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't this flight. But in four hours, we're on sovereign Chinese territory. (walks away)", "BRENNAN: (walks over to MCNUTT) Excuse me. Before you become completely catatonic, can you tell me how to access the internet? I-I need to contact my people.", "BOOTH: Bones, you don't have to shout. She's in shock, not deaf.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab entrance. HODGINS is walking quickly inside, carrying a bike helmet, wearing a backpack and removing ear buds.)", "HODGINS: (to CAM, who is waiting near entrance) What? What, are you kidding? Because the message I got, that could not be correct.", "CAM: I'd rather brief everyone at once.", "(SWEETS walks in, wearing a white polo and plaid shorts.)", "SWEETS: What's going on?", "HODGINS: Wow, is that what you really look like?", "SWEETS: Cam said an emergency, I didn't have time to-(to CAM) I think maybe your message was garbled?", "CAM: I'd rather brief everyone at once.", "(ANGELA and ROXIE walk in, ANGELA pulling one suitcase.)", "ANGELA: There was a murder on BRENNAN's plane to China?", "CAM: Good, we're all here.", "ANGELA: (to SWEETS) What are you, like, sixteen?", "SWEETS: (looks down) Aw, I love these shorts.", "CAM: A body was found roasted beyond recognition in a large convection microwave oven on BOOTH and BRENNAN's flight to China.", "ANGELA: (turns to ROXIE) Maybe you should...", "ROXIE: Yeah, I'm gonna...", "ANGELA: Thanks.", "ROXIE: (takes suitcase) Call me when you get to the bad guy. (ROXIE walks away. HODGINS watches her exit the building.)", "SWEETS: And I'm here because?", "CAM: You were on my speed dial.", "SWEETS: Okay...(walks away)", "ANGELA: Okay. (walks away in a different direction)", "HODGINS: Uh, Dr. Saroyan? Um...two people, they, uh, they go away together and they pack one bag, that, that means something, right?", "CAM: (struggles for words) You mean, ANGELA and ROXIE...Well...Yeah, it means something. (walks away quickly)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach. BOOTH is walking toward CHARLOTTE. He stops at her seat.)", "BOOTH: Excuse me.", "CHARLOTTE: What's going on?", "BOOTH: (whispering) Listen. Would you happen to have a measuring tape and tweezers?", "CHARLOTTE: (gasp) There's been a murder. NADINE, NADINE. They need tweezers for an autopsy. Code red, code red.", "BOOTH: (over the top of her) Shh! No! No! Shh! No code red. Don't wake NADINE up. I will explain everything to you later, I promise, Charlotte. I just need those things, do you have them?", "CHARLOTTE: (rummages through her bag) Well I didn't hear a gunshot. So it must have been a knifing. I saw Dr. Temperance Brennan, the mystery writer, in first class. I bet she's doing the autopsy. (whispers) Listen, I was awake the whole time, and anyone who went that way (points toward first class), they came back again. So if the victim is a passenger, he or she is in first class. Probably she, because most murder victims are women.", "BOOTH: Wow, you really are into murder, aren't you. (CHARLOTTE produces items and hands them to BOOTH.) Thanks.", "CHARLOTTE: Wait! (pulls knitting needle from her bag) Dr. BRENNAN will need this.", "BOOTH: What's that for?", "CHARLOTTE: It's a probe! (hands it to BOOTH) This is the best flight I've ever been on.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen. BRENNAN is taking pictures of the oven.)", "ANGELA: (via BRENNAN's laptop) Okay, sweetie, we have a solid link here, audio and visual, so you should be able to beam us all the digital photographs you can.", "BRENNAN: Okay, we've isolated the crime scene, and we'll try to compromise the forensics as little as possible.", "BOOTH: (walks into kitchen and holds knitting needle out to BRENNAN) Look what I got.", "BRENNAN: Oh, a probe! That's great, I didn't think of that.", "BOOTH: Yeah, lucky I did.", "ANGELA: (through laptop) Hey, Booth. Good flight so far?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm having trouble sleeping.", "(Cam walks into picture on BRENNAN's laptop.)", "CAM: (through laptop) Looks like you managed to get the remains out of the oven.", "BOOTH: Yeah, they're, uh, they're kind of, uh, well, they, they've fallen apart, a little bit there. Hey Bones. (walks over to other side of kitchen and points his pen at the phone, dangling from the cradle by its cord) Did you knock the phone off this cradle?", "BRENNAN: No.", "(BOOTH uses a piece of cloth to pick up the phone and visually inspect it.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. BLAKE, BOOTH, MCNUTT and flight attendant MING MING are talking.)", "BLAKE: I've informed the FAA, the NTSB and the Chinese that we have a dead body on board.", "BOOTH: Hey, who else has access to the galley down there?", "MCNUTT: All of us.", "MING: It's kind of our getaway place. To chill out from passengers.", "BOOTH: Who was the last person who made a call from the satellite phone down there?", "BLAKE: I can get you the number called.", "MING: It was me.", "BOOTH: You? What are you, a spy or a smuggler?", "MCNUTT: No, (stands) she's in love, Agent BOOTH, and her boyfriend works for this airline at the Shanghai airport.", "BLAKE: It's against the rules.", "MING: So's having s*x with passengers in the bathroom.", "BLAKE: (looks around awkwardly) Okay, I think we're all under a lot of stress here.", "MING: I used the phone right after dinner. There was no dead body cooking in the microwave.", "BOOTH: Tell you what. Why don't you two go do a seat count, tell me what passengers are missing, okay?", "(Everyone walks away, BOOTH and BLAKE exchanging awkward glances before they do so.)", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, Forensics Platform. CAM, ANGELA and HODGINS are working on the case in front of TV screens displaying BRENNAN's photographs.)", "CAM: A macro photo of the victim's follicle suggests brown hair, maybe red.", "BRENNAN: (through TV) I estimate her height to be a hundred and fifty-seven centimeters.", "ANGELA: Ooh. HODGINS has that meerkat look on his face.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley.)", "HODGINS: (through laptop) What's going on with her fingernails?", "BRENNAN: (examines a hand) Are you referring to the spots around the phalanges?", "CAM: (through laptop) What would cause those kinds of burns?", "HODGINS: (through laptop) False fingernails. ABS plastic and ethyl cyanoacrylate glue. Like torches.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, Forensics Platform.)", "CAM: So, a petite brown- or red-haired woman with fake nails.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley; BRENNAN nods. Camera sweeps length of remains.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. BOOTH, MCNUTT and MING are standing by the curtain to first class.)", "BOOTH: Five foot two, three, small, brown, uh, red hair. Fake nails.", "MCNUTT: Fake nails...seat three B, ELIZABETH JONES.", "BOOTH: Seat three B.", "(BOOTH and MCNUTT walk through curtain into first class and stop at seat three B. MCNUTT closes the curtain.)", "BOOTH: (to the seat's neighboring occupant) Hey buddy. (shakes him) Buddy, buddy. Wake up. Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but do you remember the person who was sitting right here next to you?", "MAN: No, (sigh) I took a sleeping pill. Are we in China?", "(MCNUTT shakes her head.)", "BOOTH: Wait a sec, you spend seven grand on a flight and you sleep through the whole thing? You don't even eat first?", "BILBREY: (stands from seat and walks toward BOOTH) Excuse me, Agent BOOTH?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BILBREY: I'm ARTHUR BILBREY, my wife ANN is very ill. I'd appreciate it if she could get some rest before we landed?", "ANN: I'll be fine. Relax.", "(ELI stands from his seat behind BOOTH.)", "ELI: You'd better be really quiet, or, (sways drunkenly) I'll take you down, FBI! (laughs)", "BILBREY: ELI. Please. (to BOOTH) This is my son.", "ELI: (drops back into his seat, laughing.) I got your back, Mom.", "(ANN smiles at ELI. BOOTH glances between the two.)", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, Forensics Platform. CAM is working in front of the TV screens, and CAROLINE is approaching as she talks on her cellular phone.)", "CAROLINE: You got a name?", "BOOTH: (in background, from phone) Yeah, ELIZABETH Jones, seat three B, first class. The sooner you can get us a background...(BOOTH's voice echoes as CAROLINE approaches the screens, where BOOTH's voice is also being projected from. BOOTH sees her and takes his phone away from his ear)...check, uh, the better for us. (BOOTH hangs up.)", "CAROLINE: (hangs up) Well, now, that's just strange. (waves at screen) Um, let me, uh...(lifts phone back to her ear)...let me make a call and get back to you. (walks away)", "CAM: ANGELA and HODGINS noticed a shadow in the exposed part of the sternum.", "(cut to: Airplane Interior, kitchen galley)", "BRENNAN: Yes, I saw that. I...(shakes head)...there is something here, but I--I, I can't identify it.", "CAM: (through laptop) ANGELA suggested that you take as many photos as possible at your highest resolution.", "BRENNAN: All right. (takes off gloves, picks up camera and takes two pictures. Close-up of one picture is shown.)", "(cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, Forensics Platform.)", "BRENNAN: (through TV) It's not bone, (BOOTH sighs) it's inorganic.", "(CAROLINE walks up from behind CAM.)", "CAROLINE: This quick enough for you? Your victim is ELIZABETH Joy Jones, she's a travel writer for DC Voyager Magazine.", "BOOTH: (through TV) Well, you got to get over to that magazine.", "CAROLINE: (hangs up phone) Why?", "BOOTH: (through TV) Why-they might know why she got murdered.", "CAROLINE: You got this backwards, cherie. I am not an investigator.", "BRENNAN: (through TV) Neither am I, and here I am, taking apart another murder victim.", "BOOTH: (through TV) Look, just go talk to the boss, the secretary, pretend they're on the stand. Take SWEETS with you.", "CAROLINE: If you want me to do this, you have to make a good case.", "BRENNAN: (through TV) Want you to do what?", "CAROLINE: If you want me to take on the Chinese government, the State Department, the FAA, and the NTSB, and for all I know, the UN, you make me a damn, fine, solid case.", "(cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley. BOOTH and BRENNAN exchange glances.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley. Close-up on victim's skull as camera pulls back; BRENNAN begins to peel layers of dermis off of the skull, and BOOTH is standing a few feet away with his back turned.)", "BOOTH: Ugh. Bones, can you (whirls a finger in the air) turn her around so she's not looking at us?", "BRENNAN: (is placing bits into a stainless steel bowl) She's deceased, BOOTH, she can't see.", "BOOTH: Oh, man.", "(BRENNAN pours hot water into the bowl. BOOTH peeks into the bowl, where an eyeball floats up.)", "BOOTH: (looking away from the bowl quickly) I am definitely not a squint. Woah.", "BRENNAN: Well, I've always known that. You have no training in the field of forensic science.", "BOOTH: Really don't want any. (shakes head)", "BRENNAN: Okay, to make an arrest, we need time and cause of death, as well as something (pulls a piece of dermis out of the bowl with tweezers) that can ID the killer.", "BOOTH: What do you need?", "BRENNAN: Magnifying lens.", "BOOTH: Okay. (begins to walk away) Right.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach. BOOTH is walking down the aisle towards CHARLOTTE and stops at her seat.)", "BOOTH: (to another passenger who's seat he bumps) Sorry. (to CHARLOTTE) Look, I, uh, I need a magnifying glass. I thought you might have one for, you know, the fine print.", "CHARLOTTE: My eyes are perfect. (whispers) Is the magnifying glass for examining the victim's corpse?", "(Camera sweeps to NADINE, who is still sleeping and is wearing reading glasses around her neck.)", "BOOTH: You don't think that, uh, NADINE would mind if I, uh...(steps into row and takes glasses off their chain)", "CHARLOTTE: She'd be thrilled if she were awake. She sleeps like a log.", "(BOOTH grunts, holds glasses up and returns to the aisle)", "CHARLOTTE: Now, what equipment would Dr. Brennan normally use in this situation?", "BOOTH: I don't know. I'm more of a people person. (walks away)", "CHARLOTTE: Oh. (watches him walk away)", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office. Computer screen shows pictures of victim's remains, and camera sweeps from screen to ANGELA, who is standing in front of it and typing.)", "ANGELA: I'm using interpolation software with a blending edge algorithm. (HODGINS is standing beside her.) Kind of like what I'd do if I were restoring a painting.", "HODGINS: So, did ROXIE go to the retreat without you?", "ANGELA: Uh, no, we're gonna do something here.", "HODGINS: Right. (nods)", "ANGELA: (looks at HODGINS and laughs) Don't say it like that.", "HODGINS: Like what? (ANGELA looks away) I know. Sorry.", "ANGELA: What do you think? Candle wax?", "HODGINS: Well, judging by the burn characteristics, some kind of thermoplastic, but what (leans closer to screen) is that? (Screen, zooms in on picture) Like something reflective.", "ANGELA: Yeah. (types) I'll get the computer to find the all the pixels that are within a couple shades on the color wheel.", "HODGINS: Cool, and just, zap it to my computer?", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "(HODGINS straightens and walks away. ANGELA watches him, then turns back to the computer screen with a sigh.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley. BRENNAN is wearing the reading glasses as she works.)", "BOOTH: (walks in) Bones-(sees glasses and smiles) All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, (steps closer) shake out your hair and say, \"Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?\"", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Never mind. (steps back)", "BRENNAN: This notch mark, here on the occipital, is what knocked her unconscious. The hairline fractures weakened the integrity of the cranium and caused it to burst when heated.", "BOOTH: So she was hit. With what?", "BRENNAN: Well, I'll have to take an impression to find out.", "BOOTH: How?", "BRENNAN: W-I need denture cream. (BOOTH starts walking away) And, uh, baby powder.", "BOOTH: Baby powder.", "BRENNAN: And a-a butane lighter, please?", "BOOTH: Is that it?", "BRENNAN: Uh, I think so. Yes.", "(BRENNAN watches BOOTH walk away, then takes off her gloves and glasses and shakes out her hair. Looking confused, she puts back on the glasses and ties her hair back.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach class. BOOTH is standing by CHARLOTTE's seat.)", "CHARLOTTE: Sorry, dear, but these are my real choppers. And NADINE's are real, too. Is Dr. Brennan making a cast of an injury? That's what she'd do in her books.", "BOOTH: (to MING) Hit the lights.", "(MING turns on lights and picks up phone.)", "MING: (over speakers) Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to disturb you, but Agent BOOTH of the FBI would like to address you. (BOOTH takes phone)", "BOOTH: Attention, everyone, I need to requisition some denture cream, baby powder, and a butane lighter.", "MING: (to BOOTH) Lighters are strictly forbidden on the aircraft.", "BOOTH: (to MING, covering phone and whispering) So's murder. (over speakers) Denture cream?", "OLD MAN: Here, sonny. (BOOTH walks over and takes denture cream.) There you go.", "BOOTH: Okay, how about some, uh, baby powder, face powder? Anybody have any baby powder, face powder? (Woman raises hand.) There, great. Okay, how 'bout a lighter? Butane lighter. (The plane is silent.) Come on, no one has a lighter? (MING covertly hands BOOTH a lighter.) (whispering) Woah.", "MING: I confiscated it.", "BOOTH: (whispering) Obviously.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley. BRENNAN is mixing a paste.)", "BRENNAN: This is good. The powder contains hydrated silica and calcium carbonate. (applies paste to skull)", "BOOTH: (sitting at the foot of the stairs) Come on, isn't this a lot more fun than the wuhan cave and the forty-thousand-year-old skeletons?", "(BRENNAN looks at BOOTH, and BOOTH shrugs and makes a vague hand gesture. BRENNAN turns back to her work.)", "BOOTH: Is this gonna work?", "BRENNAN: (uses lighter to heat paste) Should. This should-", "BOOTH: (standing) Bones, you're-you're just, you're filling me up with confidence right now. (sighs and walks over to BRENNAN) Whoa.", "BRENNAN: (turns off lighter) There. Now, all we need to do...(peels up the cast)...is find the item that matches this, and we have our weapon.", "BOOTH: Right. That's all, huh? (sighs)", "BRENNAN: Well, at least we know it's on the airplane.", "(BRENNAN's laptop beeps, and CAM appears on the screen.)", "CAM: (through laptop) Any luck with cause of death?", "BOOTH: Yeah, someone knocked her on the head and it exploded on the cranium thing.", "CAM: (through laptop) We're looking at the margins of the burned flesh around the rectus abdominis...", "BRENNAN: I dislike the occlusive nature of tissue.", "CAM: (through laptop) Look, just think of it as bone wrapping. From the photos, it looks as if there's a pinkish coloration. Is that correct?", "BRENNAN: \"Pinkish\" is a subjective term, and I'm not comfortable applying, uh, subjective evaluation to evidence that's not even-", "BOOTH: (interrupts) It's pinkish, and gross-ish.", "CAM: (through laptop) Okay, that indicates presence of blood flow at the time she was cooked.", "BOOTH: (looking between BRENNAN and CAM) She was still alive in the microwave? How long was she in there?", "CAM: (through laptop) Since the oven temp was set at maximum and she was approximately one hundred and ten pounds...uh, can you describe the breast tissue?", "BRENNAN: I'm not sure how to qualify what I see in descriptive terms.", "BOOTH: Well, if she was a turkey, she'd be dry and overdone.", "CAM: (through laptop) Okay, that means she had to be cooking for about six and a half hours.", "BRENNAN: Giving us time of death. Huh.", "(BOOTH starts walking slowly around the galley.)", "CAM: (through laptop) If I were you, I'd get some tissue samples.", "BRENNAN: Sometimes flesh can be quite informative. (cuts a piece of flesh from the body and puts it in a glass)", "(BOOTH holds the cast up against a latch of an appliance.)", "BOOTH: Ha! Bones? Think we got a match.", "(BRENNAN walks over to BOOTH and looks at the cast and the latch.)", "BRENNAN: Someone slammed her head against the latch.", "BOOTH: And shoved her in the oven and cooked her. (makes a noise) Wait a second. (nudges over a cart, which reveals a band-aid on the floor. BRENNAN takes off her gloves, picks up the camera and takes a picture.", "(Cut to: FBI Conference Room. SWEETS, CAROLINE and HOWARD KENDALL are sitting down at the conference table.)", "KENDALL: Are you sure it was ELIZABETH?", "CAROLINE: Of course, they'll have to do a DNA- or dental-match when they land, but they're pretty sure, yes.", "KENDALL: Man, I can't believe she's gone. Liz was one of the best, uh, travel writers in the country.", "CAROLINE: How would you characterize her relationships with others?", "KENDALL: Uh, warm, friendly, outgoing. N-not an enemy in the world.", "CAROLINE: (looks at SWEETS) Jump in anytime, Dr. SWEETS.", "SWEETS: No, no, I'm cool.", "CAROLINE: Oh. As long as you're cool...(turns back to KENDALL) Was Miss Jones on assignment?", "KENDALL: No, no. This was a, uh, a pleasure trip. She had just finished a piece for us on airline safety.", "CAROLINE: Ironic.", "KENDALL: It was an expose on pilots that have hid drunk driving convictions from their employers.", "(CAROLINE glances meaningfully at SWEETS, who is looking at KENDALL.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. BRENNAN is pulling small bottles of liquor from a cart, and BOOTH is standing next to her.)", "BOOTH: Bones, what is that?", "BRENNAN: Oh, tissue samples.", "BOOTH: Oh no, don't...(quickly closes curtain) Don't let people see that.", "BRENNAN: (circles around cart) Well I need vodka.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well I do too, Bones, but you know what? We're working.", "BRENNAN: No, to preserve the tissue samples. All they've got left is bourbon and scotch.", "BOOTH: Hold on. (walks through curtain and into first class)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class. BOOTH walks to ELI's seat, where ELI is still drunk.)", "BOOTH: Come on.", "ELI: What?", "BOOTH: Okay. Hand it over. Hand the vodka over. Come on.", "(ELI sighs, pulls two bottles out of his pocket and gives them to BOOTH.)", "BOOTH: Thought so. Look, (looks at ANN) obviously your mom is sick, and you love her. And that's probably why you're acting badly. But what you gotta do, is you gotta think, really think, how to help her.", "ELI: She's gonna die, okay? What am I supposed to do about that?", "BOOTH: (stands as satellite phone beeps) Make her proud of you. (walks away and answers phone) Yeah. (looks back at ELI).", "CAROLINE: (through phone) I just got a copy of ELIZABETH JONES' next article.", "(Cut to: FBI, outside of the conference room. CAROLINE is holding a stack of papers.)", "CAROLINE: It's about pilots with DUI convictions.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class. BOOTH is walking through the curtains and into the attendant station.)", "BOOTH: All right, is there a link to anything on this flight?", "CAROLINE: (through phone) I have a search team looking for her research, but I do know the airline you're on is singled out as the worst offender. (BOOTH gives vodka to BRENNAN)", "(Cut to: FBI, outside of the conference room.)", "CAROLINE: And the pilot on your plane there? He's got a past.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. BOOTH is looking at the pilot's and co-pilot's name plaques outside the cabin's doors.)", "BOOTH: Thanks, CAROLINE.", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior. Airplane interior, cabin.)", "BLAKE: (sitting in pilot's seat) You do realize that by sending my co-pilot out, you broke about forty laws, legal-wise.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well I thought we might have a, uh-(sits down in co-pilot's seat, and chair sinks down)-woah! A private man-to-man conversation about, uh, ELIZABETH Jones.", "BLAKE: Her name does not ring a bell.", "BOOTH: So, is this how you slow this plane down? (reaches forward for a lever)", "BLAKE: Please, don't touch that. Don't touch anything.", "BOOTH: ELIZABETH JONES was a journalist.", "BLAKE: I do not know her.", "BOOTH: Well, she knows you. She wrote an article about alcohol and, uh, pilots.", "BLAKE: And what's that got to do with me?", "BOOTH: 2002, DUI, never reported that to the FAA. You know, that is a two hundred fifty thousand dollar fine and, uh, five years in jail.", "BLAKE: That DUI charge, it was the day of my dad's funeral. I know it's not stylish, but I happen to love my old man.", "BOOTH: Well, it's still a motive. Legal-wise.", "BLAKE: I did not kill her. I didn't even know she existed.", "BOOTH: I need you to slow this plane down.", "BLAKE: Why?", "BOOTH: Well, to give us time to find out who did, unless it was you, and in that case, time, that doesn't matter.", "BLAKE: (shakes his head , looking aggravated) I can report electrical issues, maybe give you an extra hour.", "BOOTH: Great. I'll take that as a sign of cooperation, captain. (stands) Oh, it's a beautiful view. Look at that. (claps BLAKE's shoulder)", "(Cut to: FBI conference room. KENDALL and SWEETS are sitting around the table.)", "KENDALL: How long do I have to stay here?", "SWEETS: (standing and removing his jacket) I was interested in some of the things you were saying earlier.", "KENDALL: Hey, I answered every question the scary woman asked me.", "SWEETS: (sits down in a closer chair) Yeah. Well, the thing is, she's a lawyer, so she's very direct.", "KENDALL: Scary.", "SWEETS: She has a knack for putting people into federal prison. I believe she likes to do it. I have a more psychological mojo.", "KENDALL: You don't look like you have a mojo.", "SWEETS: I'm interested in what you know about ELIZABETH JONES' personal life.", "KENDALL: (weak laugh) I did not have s*x with that woman.", "SWEETS: But you wanted to.", "KENDALL: Yeah, but I didn't.", "SWEETS: Was she the type to have affairs?", "KENDALL: Yes.", "SWEETS: Have you got a name? (KENDALL looks at SWEETS) I can go get Miss JULIAN again if you're more comfortable with her.", "KENDALL: Artie. All I know is Artie.", "SWEETS: Artie. Okay, well let's talk about ELIZABETH and Artie. Now, (leans forward) how resentful were you? (jerks thumb backwards, over his shoulder) ELIZABETH slept with him, and not with you. (points at KENDALL)", "KENDALL: Well. He's married, I'm not. So yeah, maybe I'm a little resentful.", "(SWEETS nods)", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office. The computer screen is displaying a photo of the band-aid. ANGELA is puzzling over it, and HODGINS walks in.)", "HODGINS: Band-aid? (picks up a book off of the coffee table and sits down on the couch)", "ANGELA: Oh, yeah, thanks. I was totally flummoxed. So the clean part here must be where it overlapped, and the darker part must be where it came in contact with the skin.", "HODGINS: I'm not an expert, (flips through book) but I'm pretty sure even you can't get a DNA result from a digital photograph.", "ANGELA: No, but, what about a finger size?", "HODGINS: Oh. Wow. (shuts book and puts it back on table before standing and walking toward ANGELA) Right, that's kinda brilliant.", "ANGELA: Eighty-two millimeters in circumference.", "HODGINS: All right, well, (picks up a measuring tape from desk and loops it around his finger) mine's sixty-two, so it's a pretty big guy.", "ANGELA: Or overweight.", "HODGINS: Look at the perforations. (points at screen) Vertical stretching along the pad.", "ANGELA: I see it, but I have no idea what it means. (laughs)", "HODGINS: It was locked, in a (hooks finger) bent position.", "ANGELA: Oh, that would explain the creases. (moves mouse and clicks) So if I highlight the parts where the adhesive wore off, it was bent more than ninety degrees. I really love (straightens and faces HODGINS, then seems to catch herself) working, with you.", "HODGINS: Me too. We're really good together. At these things.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "(HODGINS walks away, then stops before doorway and turns back to ANGELA.)", "HODGINS: Gotta ask you something, ANGELA.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I-I got that from the fast double back.", "HODGINS: This thing with ROXIE...", "ANGELA: It's real, yeah.", "HODGINS: No, I get that. I see that. Is that what got between us?", "ANGELA: I'd love to say yes to that, because I think it would make you feel better.", "HODGINS: But you can fall in love with a man.", "ANGELA: I'm sorry, but, yes. (nods)", "(HODGINS nods back with a small smile, then leaves the office.)", "BRENNAN: (through computer) Ang?", "(ANGELA turns back to computer)", "ANGELA: Sweetie. God. (rubs a hand over her forehead, then laughs) Totally forgot you were there. I guess you heard everything, huh?", "BRENNAN: (through computer) Yes, it was fascinating.", "ANGELA: Well, what do you think?", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station.)", "BRENNAN: Well, the only joint that will bend over ninety degrees is between the proximal and intermediate phalanges.", "ANGELA: (through laptop) Right. Finger stuff.", "BRENNAN: We're looking for a large person, probably male, with inflammatory flexor tenosynovitis.", "ANGELA: (through laptop) That's great, sweetie, but what about the rest of the conversation?", "BRENNAN: Oh, I'm sorry, Ang, I wasn't paying attention. I need to go find a passenger with trigger finger.", "ANGELA: (through laptop) Thanks for the talk.", "(BRENNAN walks away from the laptop.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach class. The lights blink on, and BRENNAN's voice comes over the speakers as she speaks into the phone)", "BRENNAN: Excuse me, if I could have your attention, please. My name is Dr. Temperance BRENNAN.", "NICK DEVITO: The writer?", "BRENNAN: Yes. What we need to do now is find a passenger with a laceration locked proximal interphalangeal joint, so if everyone can look at their neighbor's proximal interpha-", "(BOOTH takes phone)", "BOOTH: I tell you what, who would like a free signed copy of Dr. BRENNAN's new book? Raise your hands. Look at that, huh?", "BRENNAN: Ah, (lightly hits him on his arm) I see what you're doing.", "BOOTH: All right, so keep your hands up nice and high so Dr. BRENNAN can count the number of books we need. Hey, does anyone have a, a question for Dr. BRENNAN?", "CHARLOTTE: Are you working on anything right now, Dr. BRENNAN?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Keep your hands up.", "NADINE: What is that delicious smell?", "BRENNAN: Roast pork.", "BOOTH: Oh, no, that delicious smell is the difference between first class and coach. How're we doing there, Bones?", "BRENNAN: (grabs DEVITO's hand) BOOTH?", "BOOTH: (in background) Hold that.", "BRENNAN: Over here.", "DEVITO: Uh. Hi.", "BRENNAN: Hi. BOOTH?", "BOOTH: (walks over quickly) Yeah. (BRENNAN shows him DEVITO's hand.) Uh, what's your name?", "DEVITO: Uh, just sign it to Awesome NICK DEVITO. Uh, what is the big deal? I just got a little trigger finger. I-I injured my tendon.", "BOOTH: You like shooting a lot?", "DEVITO: Yeah, I love shooting. Doesn't mean I'm not a reader.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I tell you what, why don't you come with us, come on. (gestures for DEVITO to stand)", "(DEVITO, BOOTH and BRENNAN start to walk out of coach.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. DEVITO is being questioned by BOOTH and BRENNAN.)", "DEVITO: I don't know anybody named ELIZABETH JONES, no.", "(Satellite phone beeps. BOOTH answers.)", "BOOTH: Hey, SWEETS.", "(Cut to: FBI conference room. SWEETS is standing and has a phone to his ear, and KENDALL is sitting at the table.)", "BOOTH: (through phone) Are you still with ELIZABETH JONES's editor?", "SWEETS: Yes, and I have-", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "BOOTH: (interrupts) All right, ask him if he knows someone by the name of NICK DEVITO.", "DEVITO: Is this like a question, to get my free book?", "BRENNAN: Where's your band-aid?", "(Cut to: FBI conference room)", "SWEETS: (leans down across table) Do you know NICK DEVITO?", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "DEVITO: Must have come off while I was asleep. I twitch. I'm (shakes head) twitchy.", "(Cut to: FBI conference room)", "KENDALL: I had lunch once with Danny Devito.", "SWEETS: He says no. (straightens) I have information.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "SWEETS: (through phone) ELIZABETH JONES was having an affair with a man known only as \"Artie\".", "(Cut to: FBI conference room)", "SWEETS: The relationship's been going on for over a year, but it went bad in the last month or so.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "SWEETS: (through phone) He's married. His wife is sick, and his kid is a pain in the ass.", "BOOTH: (looks through curtain into first class and looks at BILBREY) You know what, SWEETS, you are the man of the hour. I owe you a beer and a rye chaser, my friend.", "(Cut to: FBI conference room)", "SWEETS: ...sounds like it would make me sick.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "BOOTH: (hangs up; to DEVITO) You can go back to your seat.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "(DEVITO walks between BOOTH and BRENNAN and back into coach.)", "BOOTH: Well, we have a much better suspect.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN look through curtain at BILBREY.)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior. Close-up shot of the flight progress map on a television screen in first class. BILBREY walks over to ELI and pulls his blanket up over his body. BOOTH walks up to BILBREY.)", "BOOTH: I think you know why I'm here.", "BILBREY: Look, I'm sorry about my son. He's a teenager. His mother's very ill.", "BOOTH: It's not about your son, Artie. It's about ELIZABETH JONES.", "(BILBREY looks over at ANN, then jerks his head forward and walks toward the front of the plane. BOOTH follows.)", "BILBREY: My wife doesn't know about EJ. I would like to keep it that way.", "BOOTH: Did ELIZABETH JONES ask you to leave your wife?", "BILBREY: From the very beginning, I told ELIZABETH that would never happen. You see the shape that ANN's in? My first priority is to be a good husband and a good father.", "BOOTH: By dragging a dying woman to China?", "BILBREY: No, to stand on the Great Wall of China has been ANN's dream since she was a little girl. Our last chance to do something amazing as a family together.", "BOOTH: So ELIZABETH JONES followed you?", "BILBREY: Obviously.", "BOOTH: Huh. And you killed her.", "BILBREY: Of course not.", "(An attendant says \"excuse me\" and walks between BOOTH and BILBREY.)", "BILBREY: I am a lawyer.", "BOOTH: Hm. Your wife didn't know about her?", "BILBREY: She knows that there was someone.", "BOOTH: Did you talk to ELIZABETH?", "BILBREY: Yes, I begged her to leave us alone. ANN was asleep. As I said, Agent BOOTH, I'm an attorney. You have no evidence and very little time before we land in Shanghai. If you want to find out who killed EJ, I suggest you not waste any more time on me. (walks away)", "(BOOTH sighs.)", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office. ANGELA, HODGINS and CAROLINE are present and communicating with BOOTH and BRENNAN via the internet.)", "ANGELA: I enhanced the photographs of the sternum. Light was reflected off of this area here. (points to picture on screen) Skin wouldn't do that. There were tiny metal shards imbedded in the bone.", "HODGINS: And silicon melted into it as well.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendants quarters. BOOTH is walking in.)", "BOOTH: Fake boobs? How does that help?", "BRENNAN: Silicon, not silicone.", "HODGINS: (through laptop) It was a chip of some kind, a SIM card from a phone, a memory chip from a camera, but we need to see it to make a positive ID.", "CAROLINE: (walks closer to ANGELA's computer) How did it go with BILBREY?", "BOOTH: Ah, he's an attorney, he's not saying much of anything.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office)", "CAROLINE: And the gun nut, DEVITO?", "BRENNAN: (through computer) Most likely, his band-aid was stuck to the wheel of a food cart.", "CAROLINE: Find me the smoking gun, cherie, or that killer disappears into a billion people when you land.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "BRENNAN: One point two nine billion, approximately. Are you pressuring us?", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, ANGELA's office)", "CAROLINE: Have a lovely flight. (walks away)", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station)", "BLAKE: (walks up to BOOTH and BRENNAN) I was just contacted by Shanghai International. They've arrested a man named FELIX CLOSSEN, a Dutch national who works for the airline. He was passing stolen credit card numbers.", "BOOTH: That's fascinating, but we're more interested in solving a murder investigation right now.", "BLAKE: All the credit card numbers were from passengers on this plane. And CLOSSEN is our flight attendant's boyfriend.", "BRENNAN: MING.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, kitchen galley. MING is being questioned by BRENNAN and BOOTH.)", "BRENNAN: Your call to CLOSSEN was made within minutes of the victim being placed in the oven.", "BOOTH: Minutes.", "MING: I got the credit card numbers off the computer, and called them in to my boyfriend.", "BRENNAN: And ELIZABETH JONES caught you?", "MING: Yes. I mean, no.", "BOOTH: Well, which one is it?", "MING: I didn't know who it was. I heard them coming and figured it was KATE, so I hid in the aeronautics compartment.", "BOOTH: Well who was with ELIZABETH?", "MING: I couldn't hear because of the engine noise in the compartment. All I could see was their feet.", "BRENNAN: Male or female? Uh, what kind of shoes?", "MING: They were wearing slippers, the ones we give out in first class. They're all the same. They walked by me and I ran upstairs. I didn't kill anyone.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, attendant station. BOOTH and BRENNAN are walking up the stairs.)", "BRENNAN: Whoever killed her has to have traces of blood on their slippers. That could cause the gun to smoke for CAROLINE.", "BOOTH: No, Bones, you're going to need an ALS light. Not even those dotty old mystery buffs carry that in their giant purses.", "BRENNAN; We can make one.", "BOOTH: How're you going to make one?", "BLAKE: (approaches from behind) Hope you can do it fast. We're going to be landing very soon.", "BOOTH: Oh, no, no, no. You're not landing this plane until I tell you you land this plane, okay? Remember, you're still a suspect.", "BLAKE: It's not about me or you. We're going to run out of fuel in twenty minutes.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN exchange looks.)", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior.)", "BRENNAN: Okay, BOOTH? We need the blue lamp out of the overhead projector.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, coach. BOOTH is removing the blue lamp from the projector.)", "BRENNAN: (to DEVITO) Do you, by any chance, have any yellow-tinted shooting glasses?", "DEVITO: Sure, (reaches under seat) what do you need? Daylight, artificial light, or, uh, moonlight? (pulls out case and opens it)", "BRENNAN: Let's see. (picks up a pair) These will do. (puts on the glasses) Thanks!", "CHARLOTTE: This is brilliant. They're making an ALS emitter.", "DEVITO: What's that for?", "NADINE: To find blood!", "BOOTH: Ready?", "BRENNAN: Got 'em.", "BOOTH: (to MCNUTT) Hit the lights. (The lights dim.) Oh.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN enter first class, shining the blue lamp in front of them.)", "BOOTH: Easy, Bones. You see anything?", "BRENNAN: No...no...nothing.", "(BOOTH shines the light at BILBREY's feet.)", "BOOTH: How 'bout over here? Right there.", "BRENNAN: Mm-mm, nothing.", "BOOTH: (groan) Oh, geez.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN move away from BILBREY. BRENNAN looks at the ground in front of ELI.)", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Over there.", "BOOTH: You got something?", "(BOOTH shines the blue lamp on ELI's slippers, and spots appear.)", "BRENNAN: Yes, there.", "BOOTH: You're sure?", "BRENNAN: Yes, BOOTH.", "BOOTH: (yanks blanket away from ELI, where it was covering his face; to MCNUTT) Turn the lights on.", "BILBREY: (standing) What is going on, please?", "BRENNAN: Your son killed ELIZABETH JONES.", "BOOTH: (to MCNUTT) Okay, how long 'til we land?", "MCNUTT: Uh, we're on our final descent.", "BILBREY: ELI, that's impossible.", "BOOTH: Oh, why, you can't think of a motive like maybe, he loves his mother? Huh? He wants to keep his family together? (lifts phone to his ear) You probably just think he's some dumb-ass kid.", "CAROLINE: (through phone) I beg your pardon?", "BOOTH: Hey, I'm, lis-listen, CAROLINE, I'm ready to make an arrest.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAROLINE: You're more than sure, right, cherie? You're damn sure?", "BOOTH: (through phone) Well, it's circumstantial...", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BOOTH: ...but it's, uh, compelling. So do you have a warrant to sign?", "CAROLINE: (through phone) Yes.", "BOOTH: Well sign it so I can make the arrest.", "BILBREY: Just a minute, please.", "CAROLINE: (through phone) That's the lawyer, right?", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAROLINE: You can always tell a damn lawyer.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BILBREY: I represent my son, who is also minor...", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "BILBREY: ...incidentally.", "CAROLINE: Minor?", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BRENNAN: A minor murderer!", "MCNUTT: (through speakers) Ladies and gentlemen, we are making our final descent into Shanghai International Airport. Please return your seats to their upright position and turn off all...", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "MCNUTT: (through phone) ...electronic devices.", "CAM: BOOTH, you're cutting it pretty close, there.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BOOTH: Yeah, I know.", "ELI: What's going on?", "BRENNAN: We know you killed ELIZABETH JONES.", "BOOTH: Probably why you wanted to get so drunk, huh, ELI?", "BILBREY: Don't say a word, ELI, not a word. (to BOOTH) You're making this arrest on the strength of blood stains...", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "BILBREY: ...that could belong to anyone in first class.", "CAROLINE: BOOTH.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BOOTH: Okay, motive. The father was cheating on the dying wife with the victim.", "ANN: Arthur?", "BOOTH: (to BILBREY) You thought the family was safe by getting away from the woman...", "(cut to: Airplane exterior. Airplane is approaching runway.)", "BRENNAN: BOOTH...", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BRENNAN: We're really close to the ground.", "BOOTH: She shows up on the plane, in first class.", "BILBREY: Not a word, ELI.", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior. Airplane is closer to the runway.)", "BRENNAN: BOOTH, I can see people.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BRENNAN: We have less than thirty seconds.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAROLINE: BOOTH!", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BOOTH: CAROLINE, you gotta trust me on this.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAROLINE: Make the case, Agent BOOTH.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "CAROLINE: (through phone) Something more than motive.", "(BRENNAN grabs a case away from ELI)", "BOOTH: Bones...", "BRENNAN: BOOTH?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: If this missing video game turns out to be the computer chip imbedded in the victim's sternum...", "(BOOTH grabs the video game away from ELI and looks into card slot, which is empty)", "BOOTH: Where'd you lose the cartridge, ELI? (ELI is silent.) We got forensic corroboration.", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior. Airplane is feet away from touching down on the runway.)", "BILBREY: \"If\", she said...", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "BILBREY: ...\"if\"!", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAM: Just sign it.", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior. Airplane is feet away from touching down on the runway.)", "BOOTH: (through phone) The moment this plane touches down, I lose jurisdiction.", "(Cut to: The Medico-Legal Lab, CAM's office)", "CAROLINE: This better be a good-", "CAM: (interrupts) Sign the warrant. (CAROLINE glares.) Please.", "(Cut to: Airplane interior, first class)", "CAROLINE: (through phone) Okay, make the arrest.", "BOOTH: (lowers phone; speaks quickly) ELI BILBREY, I am placing you under arrest for the murder of ELIZABETH JONES, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law because this is the United States of America!", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior; airplane touches down on runway. Airplane interior, first class. BOOTH and BRENNAN stumble as the plane touches down. The airplane is filled with applause.)", "BRENNAN: (waving) Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.", "BOOTH: Bones. The applause is for the landing.", "BRENNAN: Oh, yes. I always wonder why people do that.", "(Cut to: A bar. ANGELA is carrying two drinks to a table where ROXIE is sitting. They \"clink\" their glasses together.)", "ROXIE: Did you catch the murderer?", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "ROXIE: That's great. (ANGELA sighs) It's not great?", "ANGELA: He was sixteen.", "ROXIE: Oh.", "ANGELA: Dying mom, cheating father. He just wanted to make it stop.", "ROXIE: I'm sorry. That counts as a crappy day. (small laugh) You should probably just go home and draw a bath.", "ANGELA: I want you to come with me and stay.", "ROXIE: Of course I'll stay.", "ANGELA: (smiles and sighs) I mean, I-I want you to, move in with me.", "ROXIE: This isn't just because you've had a bad day, right? Because...", "ANGELA: No. It isn't.", "ROXIE: You've never done that before, asked someone to move in with you.", "ANGELA: No. (shakes head)", "ROXIE: You've lived with people at their place.", "ANGELA: (laughs) With my bag packed by the front door, yeah. (looks hopefully at ROXIE, then smiles) Why aren't you saying anything? (ROXIE is quiet) Right. Because you're gonna say \"no\".", "ROXIE: Yeah, I am. I'm saying \"no, thanks\".", "ANGELA: Why?", "ROXIE: It's too soon. You aren't ready. I'm not ready. Let's just see how things unfold, okay?", "ANGELA: (laughs) Okay.", "ROXIE: What?", "ANGELA: I'm always the one to say that.", "(Cut to: Airplane exterior, in hangar. Airplane interior, first class. BOOTH walks into first class holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses, already full.)", "BOOTH: Look what I found, huh? There's that smile. (hands a glass to BRENNAN)", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "BRENNAN: We don't even get to get off the plane?", "BOOTH: Nope, they're refueling, and finding us another pilot, and (makes a swoosh noise, then \"clinks\" his glass against BRENNAN's) go back home.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN take a drink. BRENNAN looks back into coach, where ELI is sitting and is handcuffed to his seat.)", "BRENNAN: What about his parents?", "BOOTH: They gotta fly back on their own dime. ELI is in federal custody now.", "(BRENNAN nods, then half-smiles. BOOTH looks at her closely.)", "BOOTH: You want to get off the plane, to see those old Chinese bones. I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: It's not your fault.", "BOOTH: Yeah, it is, because I'm the one that dragged you out of pure science and pulled you into murder solving.", "BRENNAN: That's not how I remember it.", "BOOTH: Really.", "BRENNAN: Yes. As I recall, I had to force you to take me into the field.", "BOOTH: (smiles) Really.", "BRENNAN: Yes. You didn't want to, remember? This is all my fault.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN smile at each other. ELI sighs.)", "ELI: Hey, are you two gonna make out?", "BOOTH: Hey, quiet. You lost your right to talk.", "BRENNAN: Why do people always think we're going to make out?", "BOOTH: I say we let him sit back there the entire trip back, by himself.", "BRENNAN: He did kill someone. And he ruined my dig. Plus, you know he's gonna try to drink all the champagne.", "BOOTH: We're going to need some for later. To us. (holds up glass and \"clinks\" it against BRENNAN's. They each take a drink, then recline their seats, making content noises. BOOTH's only reclines halfway.) Hey, why does yours go all the way back and mine doesn't go all the way back?", "BRENNAN: Oh, it's just how mine is.", "BOOTH: This is first class. They're supposed to go all the way back.", "BRENNAN: Maybe it's because you're supposed to be in coach.", "(Scene fades out)" ]

[ "When a skull and various skeletal remains are found in a tree in a nationally protected wooded preserve, Brennan and Booth are on the case to investigate. Back at the Jeffersonian, Brennan learns of her father's new position as a teacher, a prospect she is less than happy to learn about, allegedly because of his recent acquittal for murder. In a lucky break, the victim's bones are identified in a government database as those of an ex-Marine who has been off-the grid for nearly three years. With no records of his whereabouts from the past three years, the team turns to the internet for answers. The investigation eventually leads Brennan and Booth to an ultra-elite private school and a group of rich and powerful families, one of whom the ex-Marine had worked for as a \"nanny\". As the investigation continues, the team finds Brennan's father to be an unlikely asset to the case, but Brennan is opposed to her father's involvement." ]

[ "\"The Bone That Blew\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER EXT. VIRGINIA - WOODED AREA - NIGHT", "[POACHER #1: following POACHER #2: through the forest. Both are holding flashlights.]", "POACHER #1: : I'm tellin' ya, this... this is a bad idea.", "POACHER #2: Huh..I heard there's an eighty foot tall black walnut tree back here.", "POACHER #1: Uh huh?", "POACHER #2: We can get fifteen grand for just one tree!", "POACHER #1: This is government property! The road said \"closed\" in big red letters!", "POACHER #2: So we get in, we get the wood, we get out.", "[POACHER #1: shines his flashlight up at a large tree.]", "POACHER #1: Is this it?", "POACHER #2: What are you, a moron? This tree is coniferous.", "POACHER #1: Carnivorous, what? It eats meat?", "POACHER #2: No, numb nuts. Needles and cones.", "POACHER #1: Oh.", "[Dude #1 shines his flashlight up into another tree and sees a large chunk of bone nestled in the branches]", "POACHER #1: Those don't look like cones to me.", "[POACHER #2: shines his own flashlight up into the tree and sees that there are several additional bones scattered throughout the branches. Eventually his light hits upon a partial human skull.]", "POACHER #2: Holy mother of God.", "[POACHER #1: screams loudly.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - MAIN AREA - DAY]", "[DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN and DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN are walking together through the lab, arguing.]", "BRENNAN: How could you have hired him?", "CAM: Your father was the best candidate.", "BRENNAN: Well, are you sure? Dad is an excellent liar.", "CAM: He's also an excellent science teacher. I called the school where he taught...", "BRENNAN: (interrupting) Well, fifteen years ago!", "CAM: And after fifteen years, they still remember him. They named their lab after your dad! I thought you'd be pleased.", "BRENNAN: Well, you were incorrect! Is there a probation period?", "CAM: Yes.", "BRENNAN: Well, what would please me is if you terminate him at the end of that time.", "[BRENNAN and CAM come to a stop. CAM looks confused as BRENNAN walks away and into an EXAMINATION ROOM, where her father MAX KEENAN is in the midst of a science experiment with a group of CHILDREN]", "MAX: OK, kids, everybody put on their goggles.", "BRENNAN: Hello?", "MAX: Hi, honey. Hey. Okay! Ready? ... aim, fire.", "[MAX: turns on a laser set up on a table to fire through a large block of red Jello.]", "CHILD #1: The light refracted.!", "MAX: Yeah, now why is the light visible?", "CHILD #2: Because the Jello molecules are close together.", "MAX: Yeah, but that's not magic, that's...", "CHILDREN: ???", "MAX: K, the Science Way.", "[BRENNAN, highly irritated, flicks on the lab light switch. MAX turns off the laser.]", "MAX: Science Squad, meet my daughter. The world famous anthropologist, Temperance BRENNAN. Of course, I taught her everything she knows.", "BRENNAN: Actually, I went to college. I have multiple degrees.", "MAX: Well, tell the uh, kids a little something about refraction.", "BRENNAN: (Engaging and stepping further into the room) Snell's Law states that the angle of incidence is related to the angle of refraction, where V equals the wave velocities through the respective media and N equals...", "MAX: (Cutting BRENNAN off for the sake of the confused children) Nifty, that's very nifty. But wha-what was your favorite example when you were a kid?", "BRENNAN: Rainbows.", "CHILD #3: Rainbows! I love rainbows!", "MAX: Yeah, rainbows. She used to make me drive her all the way across town, the other side of the rainbow. She didn't believe that light came out of the back of a raindrop. Yeah. So, are there any questions for our, uh, scientist?", "[All the children eagerly raise their hands, several shout \"me!\"]", "BRENNAN: (Backing out of the room) I have to examine the frontal bone of a...dead person's skull. Maybe another time, kids.", "[Exit BRENNAN]", "MAX: Gee, dead person's skull. Ain't that a kick in the head?!", "[The children laugh]", "[CUT TO: EXT. VIRGINIA - WOODED AREA - DAY. The location where the bones in the tree were discovered is now buzzing with FBI agents and crime scene technicians. There is a flurry of activity: Photographs are being taken, samples collected, etc. BRENNAN stands under the tree with her partner, SPECIAL AGENT SEELEY BOOTH. Both are looking up at the bones, which are being collected by a technician.]", "BRENNAN: Most likely a wind deposited them there.", "BOOTH: That seems most likely.", "BRENNAN: Well, the bones didn't come from the ground, and they didn't come from the sky, that leaves the wind.", "[Enter PARK OFFICER NORMA RANDALL, who marches up, clearly upset.]", "OFFICER RANDALL: Those people over there? (nodding to agents) Need to clear out.", "[BRENNAN walks over to examine bones which have already been collected and are arranged on a nearby table.]", "BOOTH: Okay, well those people over there are looking for the rest of that. (motions to already collected bones)", "OFFICER RANDALL: They're right in the middle of the masked booby migration path.", "BOOTH: Masked booby. You're kidding.", "[BOOTH walks over to join BRENNAN]", "OFFICER RANDALL: The Department of Fish and Wildlife does not kid, Agent BOOTH.", "BOOTH: Okay, you just have to give me a minute, okay, you can have your boobies all to yourself. (to BRENNAN ) Okay, what do we got?", "BRENNAN: (holding up a bone) This one's a portion of the sacrum. It's definitely human. There's char marks.", "[BRENNAN lifts the bone to her nose and sniffs it]", "BOOTH: Oh, God. You know I hate when you sniff and smell dead things.", "BRENNAN: (ignoring BOOTH) Fresh burn. Days or weeks rather than months.", "[BRENNAN's current grad student assistant, WENDELL BRAY, appears in the background. He holds up a bone and calls to BRENNAN]", "WENDELL: Found a hyoid!", "BOOTH: Oh, he found a hyoid.", "[WENDELL approaches with the hyoid bone, which he presents to BRENNAN]", "WENDELL: Dead guy's hyoid.", "BRENNAN: (taking the hyoid) \"Guy\" as in sexually non-specific urban colloquialism, or in reference to the gender normally associated with pen1s, Mr. WENDELL?", "WENDELL: Uh...the pen1s?", "BRENNAN: (examining the hyoid) Similar char marks.", "BOOTH: (to OFFICER RANDALL ) Any fires in the last couple of weeks?", "OFFICER RANDALL: No.", "BRENNAN: The body of the hyoid is fractured.", "WENDELL: Strangulation?", "BRENNAN: This man was murdered, we'll need to search this entire area.", "BOOTH: (to OFFICER RANDALL) According to my scientists, your boobies are out of luck.", "CREDITS ACT I", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - MAIN AREA - DAY is walking through the lab towards the EXAMINATION PLATFORM. On his way, he encounters MAX: , who is walking towards BOOTH.]", "MAX: Hey, good afternoon, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Max?", "MAX: Wish I could stay and chat, but I gotta go pick up my new employment ID.", "[MAX pats BOOTH on the shoulder, then grabs his bicep.]", "MAX: Ooh, guns of steel!", "[MAX slaps BOOTH's arm and wanders off]", "BOOTH: (To MAX's retreating from) You work here now? Max, you... (to himself) You work here now?", "[BOOTH swipes his ID and walks up onto the main examination platform, where CAM and BRENNAN are examining the remains from the tree.]", "CAM: I can still make out the accelerant pour pattern. Victim must have been doused post-mortem. I'll have HODGINS run it through the mass spec.", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Your dad works here now?", "BRENNAN: Not my idea.", "CAM: She wants me to fire him.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN: This is a crime lab! My father is a bank robber and an accused murderer.", "CAM: Booth's killed more people than Max has, and he works here.", "BOOTH: Don't bring that up. Why'd you have to bring that up?", "CAM: In fact, Dr. Brennan, you've also killed a person. And, I'll point out, Max was never convicted. So, in the eyes of the law, he's never killed anyone.", "BRENNAN: Why are you defending him?", "CAM: Why aren't you?", "BOOTH: He is your father.", "BRENNAN: Whose sperm hit whose egg shouldn't determine who works here.", "CAM: Come o-he's showing kids around the museum. What can it hurt?", "BRENNAN: Let's get to work, please.", "CAM: (begrudgingly) Nothing definitive on cause of death. Of course, We don't have a lot to work with.", "BRENNAN: I did find an anomaly. The victim suffered a compression fracture sometime between 3 and 6 months prior to his death.", "BOOTH: Why is that an anomaly?", "BRENNAN: Compression fractures are normally associated with osteoporosis, but the sacral vertebrae haven't even undergone final fusing.", "CAM: Not even 30 years old.", "BRENNAN: The fracture must have been the result of trauma. A motor vehicle accident, parachute jumping...It would have been very painful.", "BOOTH: 20-something with a bad back. You gotta give me something here more to go on, Bones.", "[CAM's cell phone rings, she walks over to a desk to answer it.]", "BRENNAN: Well, I would love to give you more, BOOTH, but that would involve fantasy, which would be futile.", "CAM: (into phone) Dr. Saroyan?...Eeexcellent. I'll check my e-mail.", "[CAM hangs up the phone and calls to BOOTH]", "CAM: It's your lucky day, Booth.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN walk over to CAM, who is now using a computer]", "CAM: We ran the victim's bone marrow? We got a hit on the Armed Forces DNA Registry.", "[CAM pulls up a picture of a man in uniform]", "CAM: Here's your guy. Calvin Warren.", "BOOTH: Force Recon. Marine Corps Special Ops, toughest of the tough.", "BRENNAN: The kind that parachute out of airplanes and get vertebral compression fractures?", "BOOTH: You know what, you are a genius, okay? So the Marine Corps say where this guy got to?", "CAM: They don't know. Warren was honorably discharged three years ago. Marines tried to track him down, see if he wanted to re-up, even checked his credit cards and bank accounts but he's totally off the grid.", "BOOTH: Would his back be bad enough to medicate?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: 'Kay fine, I'll just order a search of the controlled substance database, I'll see if I can get an address. You guys can go back to your bone play.", "[Exit BOOTH]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. DR. JACK HODGINS and WENDELL BRAY are examining one of the victim's bones and discussing it with CAM]", "HODGINS: (lifting the bone) Can you believe how light this thing is?", "[HODGINS passes the bone to WENDELL]", "WENDELL: I'd say six grams.", "CAM: No way these bones were burned in an ordinary wood fire.", "WENDELL: A wood fire burns at eight hundred degrees Fahrenheit, human flesh needs fourteen hundred to ignite.", "HODGINS: Why do you know that?", "WENDELL: I got an uncle who's a funeral director. Crematorium will incinerate a grown man down to five or six pounds.", "CAM: These weren't cremated. The bones would be drier and the flesh would be completely gone.", "HODGINS: Meaning that the burn was hotter than a wood fire and cooler than a crematorium.", "CAM: That's a thousand-degree range.", "HODGINS: I may be able to ID the accelerant.", "WENDELL: I think we need a broader picture of the burn conditions.", "CAM: How are you gonna do that?", "WENDELL: (to HODGINS ) We could experiment.", "HODGINS: (to CAM) Oh. Ohhh. Is that what you're after here?", "CAM: You'll recall I mostly disapproved of your experiments with Dr. Addy.", "HODGINS: You didn't disapprove of the results.", "CAM: You have me there, Dr. Hodgins.", "[Exit CAM]", "WENDELL: I can't tell if we're doing an experiment or not.", "HODGINS: Not.", "[CUT TO: INT. ROYAL DINER - DAY. BRENNAN is having lunch with MAX. They are arguing about MAX's employment with the Jeffersonian.]", "MAX: See, I... I don't see what the problem is.", "BRENNAN: It's a crime lab! You're a convicted felon. Your presence taints the evidence.", "MAX: But I'm not gonna be around any evidence. Basically, I'm just gonna be firing lasers through stuff.", "[In the background, DR. LANCE SWEETS enters the diner and removes his coat. He notices BRENNAN and MAX and walks towards them.]", "MAX: Oh, look! There's the doc that told the jury that I was a sociopath. Hey! Please, sit down, Doc. How are ya?", "[SWEETS sits down with BRENNAN and MAX]", "SWEETS: Likeable sociopath.", "MAX: So, Cam wants Hodgins to design an experiment to figure out how hot a fire was.", "BRENNAN: (bothered) Yeah, how hot a fire was that burned a body.", "SWEETS: What body?", "BRENNAN: The bones in the tree murder victim; which is a crime we cannot discuss.", "MAX: Yeah, but I know exactly how that experiment should go.", "BRENNAN: You aren't adequately credentialed to design an experiment, Dad.", "SWEETS: Can I ask what's really going on between you?", "MAX: Tempe doesn't want me working at the, uh, Jeffersonian.", "SWEETS: Why?", "BRENNAN: It's a conflict of interest. We catch criminals, my dad is a criminal.", "SWEETS: That would be valid.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "SWEETS: If it were your real reason. But it's not.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, yes, it is.", "SWEETS: No, it's not.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, yes, it is.", "SWEETS: No, no.", "BRENNAN: Yeah-huh!", "SWEETS: No, it's not.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm!", "SWEETS: No. And, and this can't be resolved between you until you confront the real reason behind your feeling.", "MAX: What do you say it is?", "SWEETS: Well, at the time you abandoned your daughter, 15 years ago, you were a well-regarded science teacher. Now...here you are, basically in the same situation. And subconsciously, she doesn't want to risk feeling that sense of abandonment and bereavement again.", "MAX: Boy, that is such a load of crap. (to BRENNAN) You are far too rational for that.", "BRENNAN: Exactly.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. ANGELA MONTENEGRO is standing at a computer, holding a clipboard. CAM enters, carrying a file.]", "CAM: FBI got a hit off the controlled substances database? I just got off the phone with Booth. Cal Warren had a prescription for Oxycodone, written by a Dr. Antonia Ezralow, office in Chevy Chase.", "ANGELA: Could she provide an address?", "CAM: DR. EZRALOW has never heard of Calvin Warren. Plus, she's a dermatologist. Very rarely writes prescriptions for pain medication.", "ANGELA: So he probably stole her prescription pad. (motioning to her computer, which is open to MySpace) Here's his MySpace page, and I have to say? he doesn't look much like a drug dealer. What a waste. Tall, dark, handsome and dead.", "CAM: Too bad he's blocking his address.", "ANGELA: Well, let's see. (she zooms in on a picture of the victim on his MySpace page.) This is the house across the street. Now, if I were a house number, I'd be right about here. (She zooms in again) I crop it so all we got is the reflection. Reverse and resize. Tweak the contrast, find some edges. (she does all this and the house number becomes clear)", "CAM: \"3-2-9-4.\" So he's across the street from 3294, but what street?", "ANGELA: (indicating the photo) Well, 1880-ish architecture, square bay front... Let's assume the D.C. Area.", "CAM: Check out the lamppost.", "ANGELA: Yeah, It places us in one of the two historical districts where they still use those cast iron modified bishop's crook street lamps.", "CAM: For an artist, you make a pretty good detective.", "ANGELA: I think you just insulted me. (they both laugh) Okay. Now, I do a search for 3294 in those two zip codes. (she seaches) And I come up with...(the computer displays an address) Mad skills, babe.", "[Angela and Cam high give one another]", "[CUT TO: INT. 3294 7TH STREET - WASHINGTON DC - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are inside the victim's house, investigating his belongings.]", "BOOTH: The landlord said that Cal Warren worked crazy hours, you know, he kept to himself. Every time the landlord asked, you know, what he did for a living, he dodged the question.", "BRENNAN: Maybe he liked his privacy.", "BOOTH: What, So much that he pays his rent in cash? I don't know, Bones, something is weird, It's not right.", "BRENNAN: There's no letters, No photographs, not even...a bill.", "BOOTH: So did you persuade Cam to fire Max?", "BRENNAN: What, you think my dad should be allowed to work at the Jeffersonian?", "BOOTH: What? You know, she's just, you know, trying to do you a favor.", "BRENNAN: Well, I didn't ask for a favor.", "BOOTH: Sometimes you don't need to ask. Got a passport. (looking through it) This guy's been to countries I haven't even heard of.", "[BRENNAN pulls a small white card out the pocket of a jacket hanging on a coat rack.]", "BRENNAN: What is this?", "BOOTH: I don't know. (he reaches into a drawer and pulls out a pile of money) This is something we're familiar with. Foreign currency. Lots of it.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. CAM and ANGELA walk from the main lab area into ANGELA's office. ANGELA is holding a key card.]", "CAM: Booth found this in tall, dark and handsome's drawer. (indicates the card)", "ANGELA: It's an RF proximity card.", "CAM: And that would be...?", "ANGELA: Basically, it's a super fancy key card. You wave the card in front of the reader, it logs your info, and the door opens.", "CAM: Any way to figure out what door it opens?", "[ANGELA puts the card into a reader attached to her computer.]", "ANGELA: Well, if the info on the card isn't too heavily encrypted... I heard you tried to get HODGINS interested in doing an experiment.", "CAM: Let's just say I planted the seed.", "[ANGELA pushes some keys on her keyboard and a window of code, apparently from the keycard, appears.]", "ANGELA: Huh.", "CAM: What? CIA? NSA?", "ANGELA: No. Dupont Circle.", "[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH'S SUV - WOODBURY SCHOOL - DAY. BOOTH drives up to the school's gate and swipes the keycard against the reader. The gate opens, and BOOTH drives in. He parks, leaves his SUV, and passes several security agents in suits and dark glasses as he attempts to enter the school. The front door is locked; BOOTH notices an intercom near the door and presses it.]", "BOOTH: (into the intercom) Special Agent BOOTH, FBI.", "[The door buzzes and BOOTH enters the school.]", "[CUT TO: INT. WOODBURY SCHOOL - DAY. BOOTH is examining a model of a spaceship in the school. Children walk around him on their way to class. HEADMASTER DONNEGAN approaches and shakes BOOTH's hand. As they speak, they begin walking together.]", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: Ah. Welcome to the Woodbury School, Agent BOOTH.", "BOOTH: Hi, how are you? What's with all the security?", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: It's precautionary. Our student body includes children of diplomats, heads of state, CEOs...", "[A child passes them on the stairs.]", "CHILD: Good morning!", "[The headmaster nods and smiles at the child, keeps on walking.]", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: How old is your child?", "BOOTH: Parker? Uh, he's seven.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: Has he been evaluated?", "BOOTH: He does just fine.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: Most applicant families engage an educational consultant. I mean, it's not a requirement, of course, but...", "BOOTH: (cutting him off) I, I...Mr. Donnegan, I think you got this all wrong.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: I know it seems crazy, but given the demand, we can only accept the most qualified applicants.", "BOOTH: Parker's a great kid.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: The problem is keeping him that way, isn't it? Sixty-eight percent of our students matriculate to Ivy League universities. It's not because of our electron microscope or AP classes... It's because of our Honour Code. Any violation results in immediate dismissal. Now, why don't I get you an admissions packet?", "BOOTH: Actually, I'm here because of a murder investigation.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: I'm sorry?", "BOOTH: One of your parking lot access cards was found in the apartment of a victim, Cal Warren?", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: He's not a parent or an employee, I would know the name.", "BOOTH: Maybe we could check your computer.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: Of course.", "[Donnegan swipes the card to access his office]", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: No one is issued a key card without security clearance.", "[Donnegan holds the door open for BOOTH, they enter into the office.]", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: One of our fathers actually implemented the security system. He's deputy director of the CIA.", "[Donnegan sits down at his computer and keys in a search.]", "BOOTH: Really?", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: There he is, Calvin Warren.", "BOOTH: Did he happen to work for the CIA?", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: No, actually, he works for the president.", "BOOTH: Of the United States?", "HEADMASTER DONNEGAN: Parents Association. As a nanny.", "BOOTH: A nanny?", "END ACT I ACT II", "[INT. BOOTH: 'S SUV - OUTSIDE WASHINGTON, DC - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are driving on their way to interview the victim's employer. As they drive, they discuss the Woodbury School.]", "BOOTH: Twenty-eight grand a year. I didn't pay that much for four years of college!", "BRENNAN: If you think it's so ridiculous, why did you save the application?", "BOOTH: I didn't save it. I just didn't have a chance to throw it out yet.", "BRENNAN: You don't have to be embarrassed, It's perfectly normal to want the best for Parker.", "BOOTH: Public school was good enough for me, it's good enough for my kid.", "BRENNAN: Of course it is. Probably.", "BOOTH: What's that supposed to mean?", "BRENNAN: Parker is a bright, engaged little boy. I'm sure he'll do fine in a large classroom. I did.", "BOOTH: Except...", "BRENNAN: Except what?", "BOOTH: Your dad was a science teacher. You're a scientist.", "BRENNAN: Yes, my education was enriched at home.", "BOOTH: That's what I gotta do! Enrich Parker at home.", "BRENNAN: In what academics are you qualified to offer enrichment?", "BOOTH: Well...", "[BOOTH has no answer and looks lost. The SUV drives up to a large mansion, the home of the King family. Outisde, ELSBETH KING is issuing instructions to a housekeeper, ETHEL, as they walk. MRS. KING is evidently frantic and on her way out.]", "MRS. KING: Ethel, could you grab my bag, please? I am on my way to the Children First board meeting. (Ethel passes her the bag) Thank you. (to a passing dog-walker) Oh, Wexler has the groomer at three.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN approach, Ethel retreats.]", "BOOTH: Excuse me. Elsbeth King?", "MRS. KING: Yes?", "[BOOTH shows MRS. KING his badge.]", "BOOTH: We're with the FBI.", "BRENNAN: Do you know a Mr. Calvin Warren?", "MRS. KING: He was my nanny... What happened?", "BOOTH: That's exactly what we're investigating.", "[CUT TO: INT. PARLOUR - KING MANSION - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sitting and interviewing MRS. KING while she drinks a bottle of water.]", "MRS. KING: Cal dropped off the face of the earth on Sunday. He was an excellent nanny.", "BOOTH: Well, how is it that an ex-Special Ops guy becomes a nanny?", "MRS. KING: My husband, Richard handles defense contracts. The Middle East, South America... There were kidnap threats a couple years ago and Richard was concerned. He offered Cal twenty-five hundred a week.", "BRENNAN: That's very good pay for...a babysitter.", "MRS. KING: Cal was more like a bodyguard. Do you suppose that's what got him killed? Someone after my children?", "BRENNAN: ...Um...", "BOOTH: Could we speak to your children?", "MRS. KING: Of course.", "[CUT TO: EXT. KING MANSION - DAY. ALEXA: KING and her brother ROYCE KING are in the midst of playing a game of chess with giant pieces. They are wholly uninterested in BOOTH and BRENNAN and are much more focused on their game.]", "BOOTH: Okay, so what time on Sunday did you last see Cal?", "ROYCE: Why?", "BRENNAN: (irritated) Because it's pertinent to our investigation.", "ROYCE: Wei shenme ta wen zhe ge wen ti?", "ALEXA: Wo bu zi dao.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Mandarin Chinese.", "ROYCE: My father says the Chinese will run the planet in ten years. He figures it'll be useful.", "BRENNAN: That's very smart.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, here, today, okay, I run the world.", "ROYCE: Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway ro.", "BRENNAN: (laughing) He just called you a stupid, inbred stack of meat.", "BOOTH: Really? I'm sorry, do you have something to say to me?", "ROYCE: Dui bu qi. Xie xie.", "BRENNAN: He, he apologized.", "BOOTH: Good. So, you want to tell me what happened on Sunday?", "ROYCE: Well, Cal dropped me off at the algebra tutor around eight, then took Lexie to check out a new horse.", "ALEXA: In the afternoon you had a game against All Saints.", "ROYCE: Lacrosse. I got this.", "[ROYCE brushes his hair back to show a scar on his forehead]", "BOOTH: Let's see. Ow...And Cal took you to the emergency room?", "ROYCE: No. He knew one of the moms was a doctor, so, he figured she'd do a better job.", "BRENNAN: Looks like the work of a plastic surgeon.", "ROYCE: No, dermatologist. DR. EZRALOW. Very competent.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN, recognising the name, look meaningfully at each other.]", "[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH'S SUV - WASHINGTON DC - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are on their way back into town from the King residence and are discussing the new development in the case.]", "BRENNAN: The ROYCE boy was stitched up by the same doctor who said she didn't know Cal Warren.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm, I'm having her brought in for questioning. You think those kids are better off than Parker?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, Of course they are. They have every advantage: a wonderful school, a successful father, mother committed to charity work...", "BOOTH: (scoffing) I spend more time with my houseplants than they do with their kids.", "BRENNAN: Well, children of privilege have always been raised by staff. It's how the upper one percent stays the upper one percent. Assuming quality education and adequate supervision, parents are actually rather irrelevant beyond a certain age.", "BOOTH: You're kidding me.", "BRENNAN: Look at this, they start Latin in third grade. That's fantastic!", "BOOTH: No, You know what's more important than academic enrichment? A loving environment. You ask anyone.", "BRENNAN: Parker is a wonderful child, BOOTH. You shouldn't feel inadequate.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well I'm perfectly capable of raising my own kid.", "BRENNAN: You're being defensive.", "BOOTH: I am not.", "BRENNAN: It's because you only have one child, when you procreate in multiples, there's less pressure.", "BOOTH: Thank you. I feel much better.", "[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH's OFFICE - FBI BUILDING - DAY. BOOTH is leading DR. ANTONIA EZRALOW into his office for an interview.]", "BOOTH: This way. Have a seat.", "DR. EZRALOW: I apologize, Agent BOOTH. When you called and asked if I knew a Calvin Warren... I just didn't put it together with the King's nanny.", "BOOTH: Oh, so you did know him?", "DR. EZRALOW: Yes. But just as Cal. My son is on the same lacrosse team as the King boy.", "BOOTH: Did you have any more dealings with him?", "DR. EZRALOW: I'm afraid not... Actually, no, that's not true. I'm sorry, again. Calvin came along with us one time when I took the uh, King children up for a ride.", "BOOTH: A ride?", "DR. EZRALOW: I'm a pilot. I own a Seneca Five. Cal got sick, and, well, the boys thought that was hilarious.", "BOOTH: You wouldn't happen to know how Cal Warren got a prescription for painkillers from you?", "DR. EZRALOW: Oh. Isn't that obvious? That's why he brought ROYCE King to me to be stitched up. To steal my prescription pad.", "BOOTH: I have no further questions, so, you know, thanks for coming in.", "DR. EZRALOW: I feel stupid for not being able to put the face with the name. I'm so sorry for wasting your time.", "BOOTH: No worries. Have a nice day.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - MAIN AREA - DAY. HODGINS approaches CAM, who is walking across the lab carrying a file.]", "HODGINS: Hey! Soooo, you know that thing where you insist that all information goes through you?", "CAM: Yes, and I'm afraid I'm immovable on the subject.", "HODGINS: And you send out little emails summarizing the case so far?", "CAM: Yes, plus I check those e-mails to see if they've been opened.", "[They approach the main examination platform together. CAM swipes her access card and they walk up onto the platform.]", "HODGINS: That's a very good system.", "CAM: Thank you.", "HODGINS: Because if you weren't checking, I probably never would have read the email that said BOOTH questioned a flying dermatologist.", "CAM: I hope you're not trying to get some free lotion.", "HODGINS: I ran the accelerant sample through the GC mass spec. There were traces of tetra-ethyl lead.", "CAM: Have we changed the subject?", "HODGINS: No. Because if you hadn't been so a**l about the emails, I never would've known that I discovered something that wasn't merely interesting, but vital to the investigation.", "CAM: Which is tetra ethyl lead?", "HODGINS: Tetra-ethyl lead was a common antiknock additive in gasoline that went out with catalytic converters and unleaded gas.", "CAM: Does the flying dermatologist drive a vintage car?", "HODGINS: Maybe. But for sure, the flying dermatologist flies a plane.", "CAM: Aviation gas?", "HODGINS: The victim's remains were incinerated by aviation gas.", "CAM: (opening her cell phone and dialing BOOTH) I'll let Booth know. Hopefully, she hasn't flown the coop while you were getting to the point.", "[Exit CAM: ]", "HODGINS: (calling after her) I was just trying to be nice!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[CUT TO: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - FBI BUILDING - DAY. BOOTH is now in the process of interrogating DR. EZRALOW. He has a binder in front of him on the table.]", "BOOTH: You lied to me.", "DR. EZRALOW: Yes. I wrote Cal a prescription for painkillers. I shouldn't have. That's the truth.", "BOOTH: Yeah, not this time, Doc. Now that I know that you're a world-class liar. (he removes a small stack of papers from the binder and sets them in front of him) I came just a little bit more prepared this time. Take a look at those there (indicating the papers).", "DR. EZRALOW: (looking over the papers) My flight logs...", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "DR. EZRALOW: For the past year.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Mmm. Oh, look it here, this one here. Right here.", "[BOOTH points to one of the flight logs, where Cal Warren's name is highlighted on the passenger list.]", "DR. EZRALOW: Yes, I took Cal flying a few times.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm, without the kids? This one here is my favorite. (indicates paper) This particular flight to New York. You were gone the whole weekend.", "DR. EZRALOW: All right. All right, I'll tell you what you want to know. No. My husband didn't know I was having an affair with the Kings' manny. Would I have killed Cal to prevent him from finding out? No, I would not. Why? Because my husband doesn't give a damn who I boff. Do I know anyone else who might wish Cal ill? Yes. Richard King.", "BOOTH: Don't stop, this, this is great. Keep going.", "DR. EZRALOW: Cal told me to sell a stock. He said he had some insider knowledge that uh, this company was in trouble. I took the tip, made a killing. That's when I flew him to New York to say thank you. And he said \"you're welcome.\" All weekend.", "BOOTH: (chuckling) What's this have to do with Richard King?", "DR. EZRALOW: It was Richard King's company.", "END ACT II ACT III", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. HODGINS and MAX are standing at one end of a large glass tube filling most of the room- a wind tunnel they've devised. On the other end of the tunnel is a tree.]", "HODGINS: How's that look, MAX?", "MAX: Good, looks good.", "HODGINS: Never thought I'd be doing another experiment.", "[Enter BRENNAN]", "BRENNAN: Dad, what are you doing in here?", "HODGINS: Max had a great idea for an experiment.", "BRENNAN: Dad, you said you wouldn't touch evidence!", "[WENDELL suddenly appears from under the tree]", "WENDELL: He's been very careful not to touch the evidence, Dr. Brennan.", "HODGINS: You know, your old man, he reminded me why I got into science.", "BRENNAN: To catch murderers?", "HODGINS: No. To figure stuff out in amusing ways.", "WENDELL: The bones were incinerated by aviation fuel.", "MAX: They just need to know, uh, how strong the wind was, basic.", "HODGINS: So, figure out how big a wind blew the bones...", "WENDELL: Check the weather charts.", "[HODGINS and WENDELL go about setting the tunnel up to conduct the experiment]", "MAX: Basic, that's very basic.", "BRENNAN: This is the same wind tunnel you helped me build for the science fair.", "MAX: Right, yeah, a basic wind tunnel, honey. You won first prize.", "WENDELL: I made casts that weigh the same as the bones we found in that tree.", "MAX: All right, now...", "[They turn on the wind tunnel]", "HODGINS: We put the skull cast into the wind tunnel, since that was the largest artifact on the tree.", "MAX: I didn't touch anything.", "HODGINS: The bone begins to move at wind speeds of forty-two miles per hour.", "WENDELL: Not enough net force to achieve aerodynamic lift.", "HODGINS: But, crank it to sixty-nine...", "[HODGINS: adjusts the wind speed as such and the bone cast flies into the tree.]", "WENDELL: I checked the National Weather Service? There were windstorms that in area last week. A strong nor'easter hit seventy-one miles per hour late last Tuesday.", "HODGINS: That gives us a fourty-eight hour window for Calvin Warren's murder. But, we still don't know where he was killed or where the body was dumped.", "MAX: Wait a minute, I can figure that out.", "BRENNAN: Dad, you're fired.", "WENDELL: What?", "MAX: (ignoring BRENNAN) The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.", "WENDELL: NOAA tracks surface conditions.", "HODGINS: We can calculate where the bones started out if we can plot approximate mass and reverse the path of that nor'easterly.", "WENDELL: The heavier remains will still be near the original dump site.", "MAX: (to BRENNAN) You see, I'm helping!", "HODGINS: Oh, most definitely is helping.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, Dad, but you're fired. You took part in a forensic experiment. You said you wouldn't, but you did, so now you're fired.", "[Exit BRENNAN]", "WENDELL: (calling after her) Dr. Brennan, he didn't touch any of the evidence!", "MAX: It's okay, kid. Never mind.", "[CUT TO: EXT. - LACROSSE FIELD - WASHINGTON DC - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN walk past a children's lacrosse game; the kids are calling plays to each other animatedly. A crowd of parents and siblings watch on the side.]", "LACROSSE PLAYER #1: Nice assist, Mick! Now cage him out, quick!", "LACROSSE PLAYER #2: No, Mick! Pass it! Pass it!", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN come across ALEXA KING, who is watching the game from the sidelines.]", "BOOTH: Hi, Alexa. How are you? Shouldn't you be like, studying algebra or Chinese, or solving the world's problems?", "ALEXA: I'm cheering for Royce. He's the goalie", "[ALEXA points to her brother. BOOTH and BRENNAN continue along.]", "BOOTH: I watch football. You know, it's a better sport. It's American.", "BRENNAN: Lacrosse was invented by the American Indian. You can't get much more American than that.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN come to DR. EZRALOW who is sitting in a foldable chair on the sidelines, holding her BlackBerry.]", "BOOTH: Hi.", "DR. EZRALOW: Oh, God, what now?", "BOOTH: Well, I'm thinking about this whole insider trading thing.", "DR. EZRALOW: I told you everything.", "BOOTH: I'm thinking Cal, you know, gives you a tip on a stock, you sell it, you make two million, three million dollars, and uh... it raises questions in my mind.", "BRENNAN: How did Richard King find out that Cal spilled insider knowledge?", "BOOTH: That's right, Bones.", "DR. EZRALOW: I don't know.", "BRENNAN: Well, where were you between last Sunday and Tuesday night?", "DR. EZRALOW: (to BOOTH) Who is she?", "BOOTH: Don't get jealous, Doc. Just answer the question.", "DR. EZRALOW: I was in San Antonio doing skin grafts on a firefighter with third-degree burns.", "BOOTH: You've got your own plane.", "BRENNAN: You had time to fly back.", "BOOTH: You really want me to believe that Richard King killed Cal.", "BRENNAN: Cal Warren's remains were incinerated with aviation gas.", "DR. EZRALOW: I didn't kill Cal.", "BOOTH: You know what, she lies a lot. I don't think she can help it at all.", "[DR. EZRALOW pulls out a business card and hands it to BOOTH]", "DR. EZRALOW: This is my lawyer's card.", "BRENNAN: She's decided not to cooperate.", "DR. EZRALOW: No, I've decided to watch my son play lacrosse.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. ANGELA is using a large computer monitor with weather maps displayed on it to illustrate her findings to CAM and HODGINS. She is holding a stylus and tablet.]", "ANGELA: Okay, Here's the surface weather for Tuesday night, when that nor'easter blew the bones into that tree.", "[ANGELA changes to a different screen and marks a red X with her stylus.]", "HODGINS: Now, that red X, that's the tree.", "ANGELA: Mm-hmm. The bones must have traveled along this vector.", "[ANGELA draws a red line representing the vector]", "ANGELA: Now, given the duration of the gust and the terrain obstacles, lift off must have happened somewhere between here... and here.", "[She draws a line representing area of possible lift-off.]", "HODGINS: That's on the edge of Queen Anne's and Kent County.", "CAM: Good job, excellent experiment.", "HODGINS: Don't thank me. Thank Max Brennan.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EMPLOYEE LOUNGE AREA - DAY. BOOTH is pouring himself a cup of coffee when MAX approaches.]", "BOOTH: How's it goin' there, Max?", "MAX: That's the last day with my kids this afternoon. I'm toast.", "BOOTH: Cam fired you, huh?", "MAX: No, no. Tempe fired me. And don't tell me she hasn't got the authority, because, believe me... I feel fired.", "BOOTH: Sorry, Max.", "[MAX leans down to get a soda out of the fridge, BOOTH turns to leave]", "MAX: Can I ask you a question?", "BOOTH: (turning back) Sure.", "MAX: You, are you, uh... Are you sleeping with my daughter?", "BOOTH: No.", "MAX: Why? Are you gay?", "BOOTH: (amused) No.", "MAX: Is she not attractive enough?", "BOOTH: (serious) Bones is beautiful.", "MAX: Is it because of me? Because I killed one man, and we both know he deserved it.", "BOOTH: Right, just cut it out, Max, alright, I'll talk to her. Probably ain't gonna get anywhere with her, but... I'll talk to her.", "MAX: You're a good man. And I want that for her. And now I got to go blow up some soda for some kids.", "[CUT TO: EXT. WOODED AREA - WASHINGTON DC - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are at the location determined to be where the victim's bones started out. There are several FBI agents and technicians searching the area.]", "BRENNAN: Okay, according to the calculations, the bones must have started out from somewhere in this vicinity.", "BOOTH: You know something, Bones? It's tough being a father.", "BRENNAN: Parker will be fine. Peer groups and random environmental factors are far more important than family.", "BOOTH: How's that a good thing?", "[An FBI TECHNICIAN: calls and waves to BOOTH]", "FBI TECHNICIAN: Over here! Agent Booth, over here.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN run over to the technician and find a large section of scorched earth and bone remnants.]", "BRENNAN: This must have been where the... body was burned.", "BOOTH: You think?", "[BRENNAN kneels down and begins to examine the bones in the patch.]", "BRENNAN: Femur, pelvis...sternum. Gunshot trauma to the sternal angle. The buckshot embedded in the anterior surface indicates that the murder weapon was a twelve gauge shotgun.", "BOOTH: I thought Cal was strangled.", "BRENNAN: He was. Strangled, shot, and set on fire.", "BOOTH: Someone wanted to make sure he didn't get home.", "[BOOTH notices a large mansion in the near distance. There is a family crest affixed to the mansion's gateposts.]", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones, look at that family crest. Looks like that someone came from the Kings' country home.", "END ACT III ACT IV", "[CUT TO: INT. DEN - KING MANSION - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are again in the Kings' mansion conducting an interview, this time with RICHARD KING, the patriarch.]", "BOOTH: Mr. King, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your nanny.", "MR. KING: I, uh, I really don't see how I can help you, Agent Booth. My wife deals with the staff.", "BOOTH: You own a 12-gauge shotgun?", "MR. KING: Yeah, several. You're welcome to examine them.", "BRENNAN: Two months ago, Cal gave an investor insider knowledge about your company.", "MR. KING: I didn't know that.", "BOOTH: And if you had known?", "MR. KING: I suppose I would have tried to fire him.", "BOOTH: Tried?", "MR. KING: I don't think that Elsbeth would have allowed it.", "BRENNAN: Was she having an affair with him?", "BOOTH: Oh, Bones, such a good one.", "MR. KING: You two need to learn focus.", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "MR. KING: Focus.", "BOOTH: Focus.", "MR. KING: Either accuse me of killing Cal because he betrayed business secrets or because he had s*x with my wife, and then once you've chosen, then contact my lawyers. I'd go with the business motive. I'm very happily married.", "[CUT TO: EXT. KING MANSION - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN, having finished their interview, are leaving the mansion.]", "BOOTH: Okay, that guy is one cool customer.", "BRENNAN: Ooh, Cool like a... like a murderer?", "BOOTH: No, I don't know, okay? I just don't see him losing his temper or taking on some Special Forces vet, that's all.", "[The dog walker crosses in front of them and past a Ferrari with a very large dog.]", "BOOTH: All right, do you think that dog comes with a saddle? (noticing the Ferrari) Follow me, Bones, will you, for a second?", "[BOOTH walks over to the Ferrari, BRENNAN follows.]", "BRENNAN: What's going on? What are you doing?", "[BOOTH reaches into the open window and presses the button to pop the car's gas cap open.]", "BRENNAN: Are you going to urinate in the gas tank as an act of vandalism?", "BOOTH: You kidding me, Bones? I would never do something like that to this fine Italian automobile. Beautiful car. It's Italian, Bones. Just remember that. Italians make the best automobiles. (he removes his tie and dips one end of it into the gas tank of the Ferrari.) Yeah. There it is. Okay, Bones, give me, uh, one of your little baggies.", "BRENNAN: I didn't bring evidence bags.", "[They walk away, bickering]", "BOOTH: Thanks, Bones, Appreciate it. You come prepared.", "BRENNAN: Well, we're not at a crime scene. Why would I bring evidence bags?", "BOOTH: You always have evidence bags on you.", "[CUT TO: INT. ROYAL DINER - DAY. BRENNAN and MAX are once again sitting at lunch with SWEETS. They are seated at a table, holding menus.]", "MAX: I've, um... I've decided I'm gonna leave the Jeffersonian.", "SWEETS: Why?", "BRENNAN: Uh, because I fired him.", "SWEETS: You can do that?", "MAX: (chuckling wryly) Ohhh yeah. Believe me, she can do it.", "BRENNAN: Well, it's all about proximity to forensic evidence.", "MAX: Uh, don't take any offense, but that's a lot of crap. It's about a proximity to me. Right?", "[BRENNAN glares at SWEETS]", "SWEETS: (Off BRENNAN's look) Well, in my opinion, it isn't your father's presence that's causing you anxiety, it's the memory of his absence.", "BRENNAN: I can understand quantum mechanics, but I can't understand you.", "MAX: Well, I'll make it easy. I'm leaving the Jeffersonian.", "BRENNAN: Well, you are?", "MAX: But I'm staying with you.", "BRENNAN: Wha-oh, in my house?", "MAX: No. No, no. Wait, why, is that an offer?", "BRENNAN: No. Would you... Would you want me to offer?", "MAX: No, no! but thanks for the offer.", "BRENNAN: No, it wasn't an offer, it was just a question.", "SWEETS: He isn't saying he's literally staying with you. He's promising never to abandon you again.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, but if it wasn't for that evidence thing, I'd- I'd let you keep your job.", "SWEETS: That's simply not true.", "MAX: Hey, it's all right. We're good!", "[BRENNAN looks at SWEETS again.]", "SWEETS: (frustrated) Nothing I say has any impact!", "BRENNAN: I should get back to work.", "[Exit BRENNAN]", "MAX: Oh, geez. Did she leave any money?", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - CAM'S OFFICE - DAY. CAM is sitting at her desk, working on her computer. WENDELL enters, excited.]", "WENDELL: About the fractured hyoid?", "CAM: Yes?", "WENDELL: I was just remembering about a tapeworm.", "CAM: I'm gonna need more than that.", "WENDELL: There was a tapeworm in the line. The one that went to the beer keg.", "[CAM, confused, gives WENDELL a vacant look.]", "WENDELL: I was workin' as a barback a couple years ago. There's no flow from the tap line, first assumption: kink in the line, right?", "CAM: What else could it be?", "WENDELL: There was a tapeworm in the line. Eight inches long. I learned something from that.", "CAM: Drink bottled beer?", "[WENDELL turns to a computer and pulls up an image of the victim's hyoid bone.]", "WENDELL: The tap don't flow, you assume the line's got a kink. The guy's hyoid is broken, you assume he died from getting strangled.", "CAM: You found a tapeworm? I mean, metaphorically?", "WENDELL: Yeah, but I don't know if it's a tapeworm. I need Dr. BRENNAN.", "[Enter HODGINS]", "HODGINS: Dr. Saroyan?", "[CAM and WENDELL turn to HODGINS]", "HODGINS: I am so your most valuable player.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - MAIN AREA - DAY. HODGINS is at his desk, using his computer to show his findings to CAM.]", "HODGINS: Now, this is the profile of the accelerant we found on the bones.", "CAM: Aviation gas.", "HODGINS: And this is the profile of the gas we took off BOOTH's tie.", "[HODGINS overlays the two profiles to demonstrate a near exact match.]", "CAM: Richard King's car runs on avgas?", "HODGINS: He could have siphoned it out of his own car to burn Cal Warren's remains.", "CAM: (indicating a slight difference in the profiles) And what is this anomaly?", "HODGINS: C6H8O7 .", "[CAM pulls out her cell phone and begins dialing BOOTH.]", "CAM: Citric acid?", "HODGINS: It's my considered belief that Agent Booth spilled orange juice on his tie.", "CAM: (laughing) I look forward to seeing him explain that to a jury. (into her phone) BOOTH: , it's CAM. I think you're gonna wanna get yourself a warrant to arrest Richard King.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. CAM, WENDELL, and BRENNAN stand over the victim's skeletal remains, arranged on a table. WENDELL is demonstrating his findings.]", "WENDELL: Fractures on the transverse processes of the C2. Both sides and the spinous process. And check out the occipital protuberance.", "BRENNAN: Oh, yes.", "CAM: Maybe this will help BOOTH keep Richard King in detention.", "BRENNAN: Cal wasn't strangled postmortem, he was dragged.", "WENDELL: Strangulation is the kink, dragging is the tapeworm. The pattern of marks is evenly spaced, as if it were from a series of connected prongs.", "CAM: What would do that?", "BRENNAN: A choke chain.", "CAM: Richard King's a big strong guy, I don't see him dragging a dead body around on a choke chain.", "BRENNAN: That's because he didn't. The angle of the fracture is eighteen degrees.", "WENDELL: Assuming a standard four-foot leash, whoever dragged the victim is at most five-five.", "BRENNAN: Elsbeth King.", "END ACT IV ACT V", "[CUT TO: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - FBI BUILDING - DAY. BOOTH is in the process of interrogating MRS. KING]", "BOOTH: So, you're sure you don't want your attorney present, MRS. KING?", "MRS. KING: Let's just get this over with.", "BOOTH: Okay, sounds good to me. Here's uh, what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that uh, your country home is less than a mile from the spot where Cal's body was burned. You had access to the shotgun, the aviation gas...", "MRS. KING: You know how many people work for us, Agent BOOTH? Every single one of them had access.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but I don't think any of them really would have cared if they found out that uh, Cal Warren was trying to destroy your husband's company. Hmm...You have a nice life. I'm sure you got really angry when you found out that it was all going away. Hm?", "MRS. KING: You don't understand. It wasn't about the money. I had to protect my family.", "[CUT TO: INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - FBI BUILDING - DAY. BOOTH, having just finished interrogating MRS. KING, walks into the observation room adjacent to the interrogation room. Inside is SWEETS, who has been witnessing the interview.]", "BOOTH: What do you think?", "SWEETS: In my professional opinion, she didn't whack him.", "BOOTH: What? Come on, Cal betrayed them. Come on, SWEETS. For once, you're right. Embrace the win, my friend.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry, but it's Kinesics 101. You pushed all the right buttons, but instead of her ego defense system triggering a stress-response state, she went straight to a tacit confession.", "BOOTH: Right, which means... she did it.", "SWEETS: No, it means she didn't do it. But she wants you to believe that she did.", "BOOTH: Why would she want to do that?", "SWEETS: 'Cause she's covering for someone. The only honest thing that she said was that she had to protect her family.", "BOOTH: So we're back to square one.", "SWEETS: Sort of.", "BOOTH: (sighing) Geez...Sweets? Let me ask you something. I mean, you're a smart guy, you went to private school, right?", "SWEETS: Yeah. With perfect attendance through sixth grade, might I add.", "BOOTH: Yeah, that's great. You don't think that I'm a lousy dad for not sending my son to private school?", "SWEETS: No, but you'd be a lousy father if you didn't torture yourself about it.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "[BOOTH's cell phone rings, he goes to answer it.]", "BOOTH: Oh, hold on. (into phone) Booth. (It's Brennan on the other line)", "BRENNAN: (into phone) I reviewed the placement of the shotgun pellet wounds? The trajectory indicates that whoever shot Cal was significantly shorter than Mrs. King. I don't think she did it.", "BOOTH: Right. Thanks. (he hangs up the phone.)", "[CUT TO: INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - FBI BUILDING - DAY. Gathered around a conference table are BOOTH, BRENNAN, MR. KING, MRS. KING and ALEXA KING. BOOTH has a laptop in front of him and is in the process of interrogating ALEXA]", "BOOTH: You see, we got a court order for your cell phone and your laptop.", "BRENNAN: You know, nothing you text or IM is really private.", "ALEXA: I knew that.", "BOOTH: Really? Because, you know, we checked your text messages, and uh, we found one from a couple of weeks ago that's a little weird.", "[BOOTH pulls up the message on his laptop, it is displayed on a large monitor beside him.]", "BRENNAN: This one is from the night that Cal was killed. \"Bring it over now. Parents both gone.\"", "MRS. KING: (to Mr. King) Stop this, Richard!", "MR. KING: No, I want to hear it.", "BOOTH: It turns out that uh, ALEXA, here, had a project due on Ancient Greece.", "BRENNAN: Hmm. You spent three days complaining about it, Why didn't you just do it?", "ALEXA: I didn't want to. It was stupid.", "BOOTH: Stupid? Oh.", "[BOOTH pulls up another message.]", "BOOTH: How about this one? \"Da manny will do it. He can't say no, he works for me.\" But Cal really did say no, didn't he, because you paid a hundred bucks to somebody else to do it for you. Someone by the name of Dakota Shearcroft?", "MR. KING: Oh, my God.", "BOOTH: Yeah. I think it's a stupid name, too.", "BRENNAN: So what happened? Did Cal catch you?", "ALEXA: He threatened to tell the school.", "MR. KING: Why wouldn't he have just told us?", "ALEXA: Cal said you wouldn't do anything. You never do. He said I had to learn a lesson.", "BOOTH: What kind of lesson?", "ALEXA: They would have kicked me out of school! Zero tolerance... My friends are at that school! I got the gun out of the garage and I shot him... Mom came home and saw.", "MRS. KING: I drove the body to the country house, took it into the woods, and burned it. She's my daughter, I had to protect her.", "MR. KING: No, you did what you always do. Make everything bad go away.", "BRENNAN: It's counterproductive to raise children in a world without consequences.", "BOOTH: Well, it looks like little Lexy here is going to have to come face-to-face with some pretty nasty consequences. But not the kind of consequences you're gonna have to face, Mrs. King.", "[FADE TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - LOUNGE - DAY. BRENNAN is looking down to the main area of the lab, where MAX is about to demonstrate an experiment to PARKER BOOTH. He is placing a bottle of soda on a table.]", "MAX: Okay, Parker, this is called the candy mint-soda experiment. You can do this for your dad at home.", "[BOOTH brings BRENNAN a cup of coffee, they stand and look down together.]", "BOOTH: So, Mom copped to conspiracy to avoid trial. She'll spend some time in prison.", "BRENNAN: How much?", "BOOTH: Not enough. My opinion, she ruined that little girl's life.", "BRENNAN: (sighing) What about the little girl?", "BOOTH: Removed from the family, institutionalized for a couple of years.", "BRENNAN: (scoffs) Then it's back to ponies and tennis lessons?", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "BRENNAN: Well, Caroline should charge her as an adult.", "BOOTH: She's 11 years old, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, well, she's old enough to speak Chinese.", "BOOTH: Uh, they don't take that into account. Tell ya. Man, when that little girl killed Cal Warren, she killed the best father she had.", "BRENNAN: Well, sometimes it's hard to appreciate what you've got.", "[Down below, MAX is getting Parker to put candy mints in a tube suspended in the bottle of soda.]", "BOOTH: (proudly) Look at him! Parker's never liked science before.", "BRENNAN: So, are you still thinking of sending him to Woodbury?", "BOOTH: I torched the application. I'm thinkin' there's something to be said for middle class. You sure he's gonna be all right?", "BRENNAN: Sure! Well, probably.", "BOOTH: Probably, like, what do you mean, probably? What the hell are they doing anyways?", "BRENNAN: Disrupting the surface tension of a two-liter cola.", "BOOTH: Right.", "MAX: Is that the last one? All right, put it in the tube. And then we'll both take a step back.", "BOOTH: Don't fire Max. Let him keep his job. You know, he's a teacher, he's not a janitor.", "BRENNAN: I can't overlook the sanctity of the forensic lab, Booth...", "BOOTH: Yeah, maybe you can overlook it for me.", "BRENNAN: For you?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Personal favor.", "BRENNAN: What, like a partner thing?", "BOOTH: Partner thing.", "BRENNAN: (chuckling) I know you, Booth. You're trying to do me a favor by telling me it's a favor for you.", "BOOTH: No. Mm-mm, no, I... I can't afford that school. I can't enrich Parker, not with the science thing, but... you can, MAX can.", "[Below, the cola shoots a stream directly into the air, raising up to the height of the lounge BRENNAN and BOOTH are standing in. Parker and MAX react excitedly.]", "PARKER: Woah! Do it again? (to BOOTH) Daddy! Daddy! look what I did! I blew it up!", "BOOTH: Yeah, I saw little man.", "BRENNAN: Look at my dad!", "BOOTH: Look at my little boy there with your dad.", "BRENNAN: Okay. Yes. All right.", "BOOTH: Thanks, Bones.", "FADE END" ]

[ "The body of a fireman is discovered in a frozen lake. Booth becomes a suspect as he was seen fighting with the victim during an amateur hockey game some weeks ago. He is replaced by his colleague Agent Payton Perotta, much to Brennan's annoyance. When the investigation hits a dead end, the team, with Booth and Wendell's help, resort to an unusual method to collect the evidence needed. NHL legend Luc Robitaille guest stars." ]

[ "\"Fire in the Ice\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to ice rink. Whistle blows. Booth skating around on ice. Shots of various other ice hockey players from both teams.)", "REFEREE: Let's have a nice clean game, everyone. (Referee throws puck onto ice) Down.", "BOOTH: Come on, move the puck, (skates out of shot) Wendell! Move it! Move the puck!", "WENDELL: (off screen) Up here, Booth. Up here!", "FIREDAWG: Back on D.", "BOOTH: Pick 'em up, on D, pick 'em up.", "(Brennan, Cam and Sweets in stands watching the game)", "BRENNAN + CAM: Go, Booth! Go, Booth! Go, Booth!", "SWEETS: Wow CAM: Kill 'em, Booth!", "(Booth smashes Firedawgs player in to the screen in front of supporters.)", "BRENNAN: What did he do that for?", "CAM: It's what Booth does. Keeps the other team honest. He's what you call an enforcer.", "BRENNAN: What, like law enforcement?", "CAM: Yeah, okay. Well, let's go with that.", "(Firedawgs player smashes into Wendell, knocking him down)", "BOOTH: Oh, what was that? What about the crosscheck? Ref, are you blind?", "WENDELL: Pass it! I'm open! Pass it! I'm open!", "BOOTH: Pick him off!", "(Firedawgs score a goal)", "PETE CARLSON: Yeah!", "BOOTH: That was a cheap shot, Carlson.", "ED FRALIC: Yeah, you guys suck.", "REFEREE: That's 24 blue, two minutes for charging.", "BOOTH: For what? What about the crosscheck back there, huh?", "REFEREE: Get in the box!", "ALEX PINNA: Come on, man. It's hockey.", "BOOTH: Club hockey, and some of us have to go work in the morning, all right, pal?", "(Referee separates Booth from Carlson)", "REFEREE: Enough. Let's go.", "ALEX PINNA: Carlson, calm down! Skate away.", "REFEREE: Just go in the box. Go on, get in there and sit down.", "CARLSON: Yeah, sit down, crybaby.", "(Booth gets into penalty box, right next to where Brennan, Cam and Sweets are sitting.)", "REFEREE: Let's go. Let's go.", "BRENNAN: So, this is punitive, right? To be sent to this little area here?", "BOOTH: Keep your head up next time, number 12. Keep your head up.", "CARLSON: Yeah, yeah, I'll be waiting.", "BOOTH: Come on!", "CAM: It's called a penalty box, you know, send in.", "SWEETS: Yeah, Booth committed a penalty when he checked the big guy when he didn't have the puck.", "ED FRALIC: Stay with him, Carlson. Just stay with him.", "(Carlson trips Wendell)", "BOOTH: There's a hit right there, Ref, that you missed again BRENNAN: Booth seems quite anxious to get out of the disciplinary box.", "SWEETS: Yeah, I've never seen him this agitated before.", "BOOTH: Open man! Open man!", "(Firedawgs score and celebrate)", "BRENNAN: That's not good, right?", "SWEETS + CAM: No.", "(Booth returns to ice)", "BRENNAN: Go, Booth! (referee throws down puck) Wendell might get a basket!", "(Carlson takes down Wendell)", "BOOTH: Elbow, Ref! Elbow!", "BRENNAN: Is Wendell okay?", "SWEETS: That can't be legal.", "CAM: It definitely is not.", "(Whistle blows)", "Come on, Ref, you got to call BOOTH: Come on, what are you doing, Carlson?", "CARLSON: Want to go?", "(Booth and Carlson fighting)", "BOOTH: Come on, come on. Let's go. Come on, let's go.", "CAM: (off screen) Come on, Booth!", "BOOTH: You're a dirty player, Carlson.", "ALEX PINNA: Come on, bro. Get your hands free. Get your hands free.", "BOOTH: You don't take shots at my guys. You got that? Ends here. Okay, Carlson? Ends here.", "BRENNAN: Booth seems to be winning.", "CAM: Well, it's not Booth I'm worried about.", "ED FRALIC: That guy's out of control.", "ALEX PINNA: No more.", "REFEREE: I'm gonna have to call a game misconduct on that one.", "BOOTH: All right. You get up off the ice, we'll finish this in the parking lot. Come on. If you did your job, I wouldn't have to do it for you. Look at him. (Booth skates away) He's hitting my guys. You all right, buddy? Son of a bitch. (Clapping and Booth picks up Wendell) Get up. You all right?", "WENDELL: Oh, did I score, man?", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah. Yeah... Come on.", "BRENNAN: I do not know how I feel about this.", "SWEETS: It's very primal.", "CAM: I like it just a little too much.", "PLAYERS ON ICE: Come on, team. All right, come on, let's focus.", "(Cut to locker room)", "BOOTH: So, you still seeing double?", "WENDELL: Only when I open more than one eye. Your hand's busted.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, you know, guy left his helmet on.", "(Brennan opens door to locker room)", "BRENNAN: Hey, you two all right? (pause) What?", "BOOTH: Want to wait outside?", "BRENNAN: But your hand might be broken. Do you want me to look at it?", "BOOTH: No, it's all right. You can wait outside please. It's a men's locker room, Bones.", "(Brennan closes the door)", "(Cut to icy river. A man (Len) and his son (Leo) are sat down inside a wooden shack)", "LEN: There comes a time in ice fishing when it's time for the father to turn the drilling over to his son.", "LEO: Man, this is a great day. You give me a beer, let me run the augur.", "LEN: Yup. You're 18,Leo. You start drilling holes, it's safety first. You got me?", "LEO: Yeah.", "LEN: Nothing I'm saying here applies only to ice augurs. You get me?", "LEO: All right.", "LEN: Good. You know, that way, you don't fall through the ice and die, or get a disease, or get pregnant.", "LEO: Dad, come on.", "LEN: Okay. Go ahead.", "LEO: All right.", "LEN: Atta boy. Keep her perpendicular. Once you get it in a little bit, you can speed her up, let her rip. All right, let her rip.", "LEO: Dad, she-she's bleeding. I... she's bleeding.", "(Blood around the freshly drilled hole in the snow)", "LEN: Pull out. Pull out.", "LEO: Oh, I hope that's fish.", "(Len clears the snow away to reveal a head under the ice)", "LEN: You better go wait in the truck.", "(Cut to Brennan and Booth, with his arm in a cast, in a white tent with various FBI and police standing around)", "BOOTH: Hey, uh, what do you think there, Bones?", "BRENNAN: I would surmise that the body went into the lake before it froze, then the lake froze, then the body floated up and became attached to the bottom of the ice.", "BOOTH: I meant, was he murdered?", "BRENNAN: Oh, Um, maybe. Could have been an accident or a suicide, except...", "(Booth sticking pen inside of his cast) Oh, you shouldn't do that.", "BOOTH: It itches, okay? Yeah, well, except for what?", "BRENNAN: Trauma to the left maxillary orbit suggests violence. It's kind of gross, what you're doing.", "BOOTH: Gross? You got your finger in some guy's maxillary orbit.", "BRENNAN: I don't think there's anything else to be learned here, so let's get this Popsicle back to the lab.", "BOOTH: Hey, look at that. Bones, you made a joke.", "BRENNAN: Well, I can be quite amusing.", "BOOTH: Wait a second. (picks up necklace)", "BRENNAN: Booth, you aren't wearing any gloves.", "BOOTH: Bones, I...Remember that guy I punched out last month during my hockey game? Pete Carlson?", "BRENNAN: Yes. When you broke your hand.", "BOOTH: That's him. I'm a suspect. (Booth hands over necklace) Here.", "(Opening credits)", "(Cut to FBI office, Brennan and Perotta sat at the table, with Caroline stood by the table and Booth stood in the doorway)", "CAROLINE: Given that Agent Booth is currently the prime suspect in this murder...", "BRENNAN: We don't know it's a murder.", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that-- I'm the prime suspect.", "CAROLINE: Agent Payton Perotta here will be working with Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: I won't work the case without Booth.", "PEROTTA: In that case, I invite Agent Booth's continued participation. In the background as an advisor.", "CAROLINE: Agent Payton Perotta has earned bachelors degrees in both forensic science and criminology.", "BRENNAN: Well, anything short of a doctorate is virtually useless at my level.", "CAROLINE: How would you like to proceed, darling?", "BOOTH: Well, it's pretty obvious. We definitely want to interrogate the primary suspect, right?", "PEROTTA: Yeah.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Law - Autopsy Bay. Wendell and Cam on either side of the table, Hodgins at a microscope on the side)", "CAM: Based on decomp, I'd put time of death at about five days prior to freezing.", "WENDELL: Local cops say the lake froze over three weeks ago.", "HODGINS: Aside from some dormant anopheles mosquito larvae, I imagine whatever the water from the lake tells us, it'll be through a microscope.", "WENDELL: If Booth is a suspect, then I should be, too. This guy scrambled my brains.", "CAM: Your alibi is that you were seeing double and being taken care of by your mother.", "HODGINS: I'll get on the fluid samples you took from the lungs and oesophagus. Could be the vic was drowned somewhere else and then dumped in the lake.", "CAM: No. Drowning's not the way Booth would kill someone. Not that I actually suspect Booth. At all. (stuttering) Quit staring at me.", "(Hodgins and Wendell exchange looks)", "(Cut to interrogation room. Booth and Perotta on opposite sides of the table)", "BOOTH: In the course of the game, the victim and I exchanged blows.", "PEROTTA: Who initiated the fight?", "BOOTH: It was hockey.", "PEROTTA: So, it was spontaneous combustion?", "BOOTH: The guy hit two of my players. The-The ref-- he didn't catch that.", "PEROTTA: And that made you angry?", "BOOTH: Not angry enough, you know, to chase him down after the game and kill him.", "PEROTTA: So, where did you go after the game?", "BOOTH: Uh, Bones drove me and Wendell to the hospital.", "PEROTTA: So, alibi that night or the next?", "BOOTH: Bones and I are just partners.", "PEROTTA: Okay. Now you're answering questions I had no intention of asking. Is it your contention that, uh, your argument with the victim was constrained to the ice?", "BOOTH: That is my contention.", "PEROTTA: 'Cause I have a-a witness who stated you told Carlson, and I quote, \"You get up off that ice, and we'll settle this out in the parking lot.\"", "BOOTH: Trash talking.", "PEROTTA: Let me cut to the chase here. Did you kill Pete Carlson?", "BOOTH: No.", "PEROTTA: Did you dump his body in the lake?", "BOOTH: No, I did not, Agent Perotta.", "PEROTTA: Do you feel that your experience as the child of an abusive alcoholic has made you more prone to violence?", "BOOTH: Excuse me. (Gets up and leaves room, slamming door. Walks through hallway to room behind the mirror, where Sweets is standing) What the hell are you doing?", "SWEETS: It's part of my job to assist the interrogating agent.", "BOOTH: You know I didn't murder anyone, Sweets, all right? So what you're doing right now is you're just studying me.", "SWEETS: That's part of our agreement, too.", "BOOTH: You have a question for me, you ask me yourself. Don't use her.", "SWEETS: All right, okay, two questions. One: am I picking up some sexual tension between you and Agent Perotta?", "BOOTH: How the hell do I know what you're picking up?", "SWEETS: Okay. Uh, two: underneath your affable exterior is a deep reservoir of rage.", "My question is, do you always have that under control?", "BOOTH: You know, if I didn't, you'd be dead right now instead of just wincing.", "SWEETS: I'm not wincing.", "BOOTH: Don't ever bring my old man up again. (turns and leaves, slamming door)", "SWEETS: Rats. I winced.", "(Cut back to interrogation room, Booth re-enters and sits down)", "BOOTH: So... Do you have any more questions? Thank you.", "PEROTTA: Yeah. You work out much?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm pretty consistent.", "PEROTTA: You look like you take excellent care of yourself.", "(zoom out to see Sweets behind mirror, walking away)", "SWEETS: Okay, this is useless.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - Workroom. Cam and Wendell are looking at x-rays)", "WENDELL: Both patellas are fractured.", "CAM: As though he'd fallen to his knees?", "WENDELL: Yeah, with a great deal of force.", "CAM: During a hockey game?", "WENDELL: No, not if he wore pads. I believe that this is the cause of death.", "CAM: Penetration of the lachrymal sac here, deep into the inferior orbital fissure.", "WENDELL: Yeah, I would have thought a small calibre bullet, but...", "CAM: No sign of bullet fragments.", "WENDELL: Yeah.", "(Cut to Pete Carlson's apartment. Booth, Brennan and Perotta enter with Connie Withers)", "CONNIE WITHERS: This is Pete's apartment. He wasn't the best housekeeper.", "PEROTTA: Ms. Withers, was Mr. Carlson up to date on his rent?", "BOOTH: Good question. Great start.", "CONNIE WITHERS: Uh, yes. Mostly. 500 bucks short. He didn't need much. He was a big kid at heart. Poor Pete. What he really loved was hockey. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why he joined the volunteer fire department. I even got him this necklace. Crossed hockey sticks.", "PEROTTA: You attended his games?", "CONNIE WITHERS: Oh, all of them. Yeah.", "PEROTTA: You were a couple?", "BRENNAN: It looks like someone went through all of his belongings and then left them on the floor.", "CONNIE WITHERS: Oh, it always looked like that.", "PEROTTA: The car outside with the flat tires, is that his?", "CONNIE WITHERS: Yeah, somebody slashed the tires just before he disappeared.", "PEROTTA: Why didn't you report him missing?", "CONNIE WITHERS: I thought maybe, uh... I thought he was staying with someone else.", "PEROTTA: There's a lot of bills here. (looking at envelopes) \"Final notice, past due...\"", "BRENNAN: Looks like he couldn't afford to feed his fish, either.", "PEROTTA: \"Albie,Thursday,11:00 p.m.\" (takes post-it-note from wall) Do you know who Albie is?", "CONNIE WITHERS: I don't know.", "BRENNAN: This is blood.", "BOOTH: It's a hockey jersey, Bones. You know, hockey players bleed sometimes when they play the game.", "PEROTTA: Ms. Withers, how bad were his financial problems?", "CONNIE WITHERS: Well, a couple days before Pete disappeared, he asked me for $2,000.", "PEROTTA: Did he say what for?", "CONNIE WITHERS: He liked me. You know? He was one of these guys, he... he didn't say much, but he could be real sweet. And a man borrows money from a woman, it means there's a bond of trust, right?", "BRENNAN: I don't understand your reasoning.", "BOOTH: I do. It's definitely a bond of trust. You're absolutely right.", "PEROTTA: We're terribly sorry for your loss.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Bay. Cam looking at body, Brennan walks in)", "BRENNAN: Is that our victim?", "CAM: Yes. The last of the tissue samples. Wendell can clean the skeleton now and you can do your thing.", "BRENNA: You still think cause of death was a projectile through the left eye?", "CAM: Yes, but since we found no bullet, nor any indication of gunpowder residue in the wound, we're stumped as to what kind of projectile.", "BRENNAN: The alveolus around the incisor is cracked, the socket caked with blood. This is a recent loss.", "CAM: Well, he was a hockey player.", "BRENNAN: So basically, we're talking about gladiators.", "CAM: And I love it.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps the sight of males battling stimulates the part of your brain which has so far failed to find a suitable mate.", "(Hodgins enters)", "CAM: And thank God you're here.", "HODGINS: The water I found in the victim's oesophagus, not from the lake. Lake water is microorganism infested. Water in his throat, deionized brine water.", "CAM: He was killed, then dumped in the ocean then dumped in the lake?", "HODGINS: Deionized brine water freezes clear. It contains an anti-freezing agent, which I know sounds counterintuitive...", "BRENNAN: Ice rinks.", "HODGINS: Kind of jumped my punch line there, Dr. B. But, yes. We should see what rinks are closest to the lake.", "CAM: It's the one Booth played at.", "BRENNAN: I find it interesting that the evidence keeps pointing toward Booth.", "(Close up on body)", "(Cut back to ice rink. Practice going on in background, Perotta and Booth talking to Dave Simms and Ed Fralic)", "DAVE SIMMS: Pete Carlson was murdered?", "ED FRALIC: Pete, he's indestructible.", "DAVE SIMMS: Not so indestructible. This guy took him down a few notches. Made him stay down, too.", "BOOTH: Well, it was the heat of the game. All right, your guy crossed the line.", "ED FRALIC: He was our enforcer. Took the job real serious.", "DAVE SIMMS: Well, whoever got Pete must've got a drop on him. Pete wouldn't go easy.", "PEROTTA: You mind my asking why nobody reported him missing?", "ED FRALIC: Well, the night after you flattened Pete, we go up against the State Police. Then Pete gets into a beef with a big State Police left-winger.", "DAVE SIMMS: 'Cause you handed him his ass on a platter, Pete maybe had something to prove that night.", "BOOTH: You got a name?", "DAVE SIMMS: Hey, Alex? Yo! Come here!", "ED FRALIC: The fuzz player that Pete got into it with his last game, do you remember his name?", "ALEX PINNA: Yeah, Lou Herrin, number five.", "ED FRALIC: Pete took Herrin down with a real cheap shot. He got tossed out the rest of the season.", "PEROTTA: Any chance that Pete and this guy, Herrin, continued their fight off the ice?", "DAVE SIMMS: People threaten.", "ED FRALIC: Yeah, but nobody carries through.", "BOOTH: Yeah, keep it on the ice, right?", "ED FRALIC: If I were you, I would talk to Chloe.", "PEROTTA: Who's Chloe?", "ED FRALIC: Chloe Bratton.", "DAVE SIMMS: Chloe's a puck bunny. Her and Pete put in some quality mattress time before he dumped her.", "ALEX: Well, mattress really isn't, uh, Chloe's style. No offense.", "PEROTTA: None taken. I favour backseats myself.", "(Chloe spinning around on the ice)", "(Cut to Perotta and Booth talking to Chloe in stands above ice rink)", "CHLOE: I can't believe Pete's gone.", "PEROTTA: How long ago did you two break up?", "CHLOE: Break up? We didn't break up.", "BOOTH: His teammates think you did.", "CHLOE: No, we had this on-again/off-again thing. It was casual. No biggie.", "PEROTTA: So you didn't mind that he slept with different women?", "CHLOE: I wouldn't have minded if he did, but I happen to know he didn't.", "BOOTH: Well, I happen to know, that he did. Right.", "CHLOE: Who?", "PEROTTA: Oh it doesn't matter, does it? Given that your relationship was so, um, casual?", "BOOTH: You slashed his tires, didn't you?", "PEROTTA: Agent Booth...", "CHLOE: No.", "PEROTTA: We can prove you did it, Chloe, so here's the deal: you tell us the truth from now on, and we won't charge you with vandalism and obstruction of justice, okay?", "BOOTH: Let's try this again. You slashed...", "PEROTTA: Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Yes. Of course.", "PEROTTA: Let's try this again. You slashed his tires, didn't you?", "CHLOE: Yes. I mean, he was sleeping with someone else. I got passions that take over sometimes. You know how it is when the guy you give yourself to just goes off with someone else.", "PEROTTA: Who's, um, Albie?", "CHLOE: Albie? Albie runs this poker game in back of a Chinese food joint off I Street.", "Probably why Pete was broke all the time. So, who'd you say Pete was sleeping with? PEROTTA:I think we've got enough information for today, Ms. Bratton. Thank you very much for your cooperation.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan, Wendell, Cam and Angela around a table with the bones on)", "CAM: Any luck with the murder weapon?", "BRENNAN: Yes. We are certain it is not a screwdriver.", "CAM: Well, the blood on the victim's jersey was all his own.", "BRENNAN: The rib cage has been bruised.", "WENDELL: It has?", "BRENNAN: Yes. See this vague pattern of bone bruising?", "WENDELL: Yeah, it extends from the right clavicle through anterior ribs four through eight.", "BRENNAN: He was struck repeatedly.", "ANGELA: Like, by a hockey stick? During the game maybe?", "WENDELL: Not during. The, um, padding would prevent that kind of bruising. I'll take a closer look. I can't believe I missed that.", "(Cam signalling to Brennan. Brennan mouths \"What?\" Cam continues to nod towards Wendell)", "BRENNAN: No, I can't believe you missed that, either.", "(Wendell turns and leaves)", "CAM: I was signalling you to encourage Wendell by saying anyone could've missed that, but...", "BRENNAN: You should have said so. Booth says I stink at nonverbal communication.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Perotta and Booth entering Chinese restaurant)", "PEROTTA: She said in the back BOOTH: Okay, well, just don't be pulling your gun until you go through the kitchen, or Mama-san there is going to hit the panic button. Okay, just...", "(Booth stops to remove gun from his ankle holster)", "PEROTTA: Ah, so you're ready to risk a gunfight with your weapon in the wrong hand?", "BOOTH: I don't have a wrong hand.", "PERTOTTA: I'm curious. When you shoot with your left hand, does it feel like somebody else is shooting?", "(Booth breaks through door. Booth and Perotta raise their guns and men inside point guns at them)", "PEROTTA: What do we do now?", "BOOTH: Okay, FBI. Okay, I'd reach for my badge right now, but, you know...", "PEROTTA: Drop your weapons, please.", "BOOTH: \"Please\"? The FBI does not say \"please.\" Okay, look. I really don't care about the illegal gambling. I just want to talk to a guy named Albie about a guy named Pete Carlson.", "ALBIE: I'm Albie.", "(Cut to back room - Booth, Perotta and Albie sat at table)", "ALBIE: First rule: don't kill the people who owe you money.", "All you get then is trouble and no money.", "PEROTTA: How much money did Carlson owe you?", "BOOTH: Okay, so you got your operation shut down and moved out? Because I can have my guys here in about what, three minutes to mop that back room up?", "ALBIE: Pete Carlson was not a bad player most of the time, but... you know, every once in a while...", "BOOTH: He got brave and lost everything, huh?", "ALBIE: Gamble a bit yourself, do you?", "BOOTH: I'm reformed.", "PEROTTA: Tell me, when was the last time Carlson got, um, brave?", "ALBIE: Last month. But he paid up in full a couple days later.", "PEROTTA: Cash?", "(Albie takes bracelet from around her wrist and puts it on the table.)", "BOOTH: Little garish, don't you think?", "ALBIE: I don't know where Pete got it, but it covered his debt.", "PEROTTA: I'm going to have to take this.", "ALBIE: If I didn't intend to give it to you, you'd never have seen it. Okay, you gave me the time I needed to move my operation, I gave you evidence. I call us square. You decide to get back into the game, you look me up.", "BOOTH: Right. Yeah.", "PEROTTA: Well, we gonna call this in?", "BOOTH: Oh, no point. Like the woman said, she's moved on.", "(Cut to ice rink. Perotta, Brennan and Booth go onto ice, with Booth slipping and nearly falling)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins confirmed that the traces of rink water in the victim's oesophagus came from this rink.", "BOOTH: Well, how did rink ice get into his throat?", "BRENNAN: He was beaten, then a sharp instrument was thrust into his eye.", "There should be bloodstains.", "PEROTTA: You're going to scan the ice with one little wand? I'll call in an FBI forensics team. We'll have the whole place searched.", "BOOTH: No need. All you need is black light, right?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Right? I got a great idea, just stay here. It's very slippery, don't move.", "(Booth walks off the ice. The lights go off so that it's only black light, making everything blue)", "BOOTH: Ready? How's that, huh?", "PEROTTA: Nice.", "BOOTH: Gonna work?", "PEROTTA: Well, I see some, uh, flecks of blood.", "BRENNAN: No we're looking for something bigger than these small specs and spots.", "PEROTTA: Uh, the victim was stabbed in the eye. We're looking for a pretty significant puddle.", "BOOTH: Right, two guys get into a beef, then they put their street clothes on and then come back here on the ice to duke it out? No.", "PEROTTA: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "(All looking at a big patch of white amongst the blue of the ice)", "PEROTTA: My God.", "BRENNAN: This is going to turn out to be where Pete Carlson was murdered.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - Forensic Platform. There are various large containers of ice/water. Cam enters platform and walks to Hodgins who is fishing through one of the containers.)", "CAM: This is all the ice from the crime scene, including the scrapings from the Zamboni.", "HODGINS: We should be able to get enough DNA out of this to confirm the blood is Carlson's. Whoa. Human tooth.", "CAM: It's hockey. That Zamboni probably had a hundred teeth in there.", "HODGINS: Looks like we found where the Tooth Fairy winters.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - workroom. Wendell is standing at a table with the bones on. Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: Did you find a match yet?", "WENDELL: Just started.", "HODGINS: Cam says it's definitely the victim's blood.", "WENDELL: I still haven't found the murder weapon.", "HODGINS: Yeah, I know, I still haven't identified the nylon polymer I found on the victim's shirt.", "(Angela enters)", "ANGELA: So, I've looked at, like, a thousand photos of those blood patterns at the rink. And tons from the apartment.", "WENDELL: Why, what are you looking for?", "ANGELA: Here's a blood pattern at the rink. The body was dragged in that direction.", "WENDELL: Yeah, the body was dragged that way, but what are those drops over there?", "ANGELA: What drops?", "WENDELL: Those drops right there.", "HODGINS: They parallel the dragging body. And they aren't smeared.", "ANGELA: These parallel drops aren't from the victim. They're from whoever dragged him across the ice.", "HODGINS: Well, that means we have to check for more than just Pete's DNA.", "ANGELA: Too bad we can't question the fish.", "WENDELL: What killed those fish?", "ANGELA: Not eating for three weeks.", "WENDELL: If that happened, they would eat each other.", "HODGINS: Grab your coat. We're going on a field trip. And tell Cam to check the rink samples to find out if there was a second source of DNA.", "(Hodgins and Wendell leave)", "ANGELA: I'm not really a big fan of this... barking out orders stuff.", "(cut to Sweets's office)", "SWEETS: Agent Booth, it's come to the attention of the deputy director that you are a viable suspect in a murder case.", "BOOTH: Right, okay, and he wants you to make sure that I'm not viable.", "SWEETS: That's correct.", "BOOTH: Come on, Sweets, you know I didn't kill anyone. So, you know, put that in shrink talk and write out your little form and send it in.", "SWEETS: Mm-hmm, yes, of course, but to do that, I need to ask you some questions.", "BOOTH: Great. Shoot.", "SWEETS: I saw you in that game. You beat another man to the ice.", "BOOTH: It's hockey. I was protecting my teammate.", "SWEETS: You broke your hand on his helmet.", "BOOTH: It's hockey. Okay, you never played, did you?", "SWEETS: Oh, I'd run track and cross country and did some wrestling and ch...", "BOOTH: Chess!", "SWEETS: No.", "BOOTH: Checkers?", "SWEETS: Didn't say that.", "BOOTH: You know what? Then you know nothing... It's about teams, okay? And teamwork. Obviously you don't know anything about that, Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: You joined the army. You became a sniper. You joined the FBI. Do you see the, uh, the binding element in those choices? It's violence.", "BOOTH: Or the love of uniforms. You ever think that?", "SWEETS: Agent Booth, I believe that you are ready to confront the fact that the violence you may have suffered in childhood BOOTH: You know what?", "SWEETS: has followed you into adulthood.", "BOOTH: Fill out the form.", "(knocking at the door)", "SWEETS: Not now!", "(Caroline enters)", "CAROLINE: Hiya, Sweets. Uh, if you're about finished here, Booth, in accordance with the warrant you made me get, Pete Carlson's phone records are here.", "SWEETS: Ms. Julian, actually, I'm the one that decides when we're done here.", "CAROLINE: Of course you are, Cherie, no offense intended. I'll be delivering the phone records to Agent Perotta. I thought I'd do that in your office.", "(Caroline leaves and closes the door)", "BOOTH: Thanks, Cherie. We're done.", "(Booth stands and moves to door)", "SWEETS: Well, we are done but that was just a coincidence.", "(Booth standing in doorway)", "BOOTH: Sweets, I've killed but I've never murdered before. Look up the difference in your little black book there, okay?", "(Cut to Pete Carlson's apartment. Wendell and Hodgins enter)", "WENDELL: This is legal, right?", "HODGINS: Absolutely.", "WENDELL: Okay.", "HODGINS: None of them look nibbled on. Oh, man, they should've gone at each other like a Peruvian soccer team stranded in the Andes.", "WENDELL: Then they all died at the same time. I don't see what this is going to tell us.", "(Wendell taking photos of fish tank. Hodgins scooping fish out of the tank)", "HODGINS: How they died?", "WENDELL: No, no, I mean about the case.", "HODGINS: Ooh, if Brennan were here, she'd smack your face. Her philosophy is, we find out the facts about everything, then see how it fits together. Photo opportunity.", "(Hodgins poses for photo holding up bag of dead fish)", "(Cut to Booth's office. Booth and Caroline sat on either side of the desk. Perotta standing)", "PEROTTA: Pete made eight calls right after the game to the same number.", "CAROLINE: Lou Herrin. Who's that?", "BOOTH: A sergeant in the State Cops. He exchanged blows with the victim the night that he died.", "CAROLINE: Make it official. Question the cop.", "PEROTTA: Let's get some leverage on the guy first. Put him at the murder scene, get a warrant to test his DNA.", "BOOTH: Here we go.", "(Caroline stands up to leave)", "CAROLINE: Get a warrant for this, Ms. Julian, get a warrant for that. You need grounds for a warrant, Cherie. Don't they teach that at Quantico anymore? What grounds have you got for that warrant? None! Nothing! You're just wishing.", "(Caroline leaves)", "BOOTH: I know how to get some blood out of this Herrin.", "PEROTTA: Legally?", "BOOTH: Yeah, of course legally. (stands)", "PEROTTA: How?", "BOOTH: Well, it's a big game tonight, right? And sometimes during a game... people bleed.", "PEROTTA: (Sigh) I don't like it.", "BOOTH: Then you don't have to show up.", "(Cut to Booth sawing off his cast in the corridor outside of the ice rink locker room. Wendell comes out of locker room)", "WENDELL: What are you doing, man?", "BOOTH: What does it look like I'm doing?", "WENDELL: You think that's a good idea? You got another couple of weeks on that cast.", "BOOTH: Well, considering I can't play with a cast, then yeah, it's a great idea.", "You clear about the plan?", "WENDELL: Somebody bleeds, I collect a sample, put it in a bag, pass it off to Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: Lou Herrin, number five, he's our prime suspect. And I gotta make him bleed.", "(Cut to ice hockey players skating around. Perotta and Brennan seated in stands)", "PEROTTA: You've worked with Booth for a while now, right?", "BRENNAN: Mmm hmm PEROTTA: Is he the kind of guy that, uh, you know, I... Is he flirty?", "BRENNAN: Flirty?", "PEROTTA: Would you say he twinkles his eyes at all women?", "BRENNAN: Twinkly eyes actually result when the pupils dilate very wide which is an unconscious result of intense interest or sexual attraction.", "PEROTTA: So, no, he doesn't twinkle at everyone?", "BRENNAN: No.", "PEROTTA: All right.", "(Wendell and Booth skating side by side)", "WENDELL: Is that the guy?", "BOOTH: That's him. Lou Herrin, number five.", "WENDELL: You think he even knows how to bleed?", "BOOTH: Just keep your head up, all right?", "OPPOSITION: Come on, you should've called that. Pass it up!", "(Booth knows a player down. Wendell collects a sample of his blood and gives it to Brennan. Booth knocks Lou Herrin down)", "BOOTH: Keep your head up, Herrin.", "(Booth knocks another player into the glass wall, leaving blood running down it Wendell collects a sample and gives it to Brennan. Booth smashes into Lou Herrin again)", "LOU HERRIN: Man, what's your problem?", "BOOTH: I got a little chip, all right? Just play your hockey ,pal. This guy's hard to get mad.", "WENDELL: Man, he's maybe the only one who hasn't shed a drop.", "(Booth and Lou Herrin pushing and shoving each other)", "LOU HERRIN: Stay out of my face!", "BOOTH: Keep your head up, huh!", "(Lou Herrin smashes into Booth)", "LOU HERRIN: Take a warning, pal.", "BOOTH: (to Wendell) I think I'm finally getting to this guy.", "WENDELL: Hope you survive it!", "(Booth and Herrin pushing and elbowing each other. Booth hits Lou Herrin in the mouth. Lou Herrin stops, spits out blood and then chases Booth and smashes into him. Booth's helmet hits the ground and then Booth hits the back of his head on the ice)", "(Booth changed to Philadelphia Flyers jersey. Luc Robitaille skates up and slides getting ice all over Booth's face)", "LUC ROBITAILLE: Taking a little break?", "BOOTH: Luc Robitaille?", "LUC ROBITAILLE: Seeley Booth.", "BOOTH: Right. (gets up and skates around)", "LUC ROBITAILLE: Let's go, let's play.", "BOOTH: Right. You're the greatest left-winger of all time.", "LUC ROBITAILLE: And you're the best player on your team. For what that's worth. All right, let's go. Come on, let's play. Here we go. Come on, show me something! Hey, come on, move, move! Move, move, let's go!", "BOOTH: Whoa, wait a second. I can't play hockey with you. I gotta solve a murder.", "LUC ROBITAILLE: You know, Booth... it's not about the blood. (scores a goal)", "BOOTH: It's our best forensic clue.", "LUC ROBITAILLE: Forget the blood.", "BOOTH: Then what?", "LUC ROBITAILLE: You know what makes a team. Look at the team.", "It's about what brings a team together.", "BOOTH: The team. Look at the team.", "LUC ROBITAILLE: All right, let's go, one on one. Let's see what you got. Come on, B.", "(Booth skates towards Luc Robitaille, checks into him and falls onto his back again)", "BOOTH: Geez, ugh. I thought I could get by you there, you know?", "LUC ROBITAILLE: You'll never get by me.", "BOOTH: Right.", "LUC ROBITAILLE: Now, listen, Booth, you're not your father, okay? You protect the ones you care about, on the ice and off the ice. That's who you are. You're not your father. You're not your father.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "LUC ROBITAILLE: (echoing) You're not your father.", "BRENNAN: Booth? Booth? Booth?", "(Brennan standing over Booth)", "BOOTH: Bones, what are you doing on the ice?", "BRENNAN: I get nervous when you fall down and don't get up. Come up here.", "WENDELL: Up you go, buddy.", "BRENNAN: Come on.", "(Brennan and Wendell help Booth to stand up)", "WENDELL: Don't worry, I got the blood.", "BOOTH: (to Wendell) Good work, Bones.", "BRENNAN: But I'm Bones.", "(Cut to Medico Legal Lab - Workroom. Hodgins running blender running with red mush in. Angela enters)", "ANGELA: Smells like fish in here.", "HODGINS: Yep. It's the victim's goldfish. They died of ammonia poisoning.", "ANGELA: How did that happen?", "HODGINS: I don't know. Maybe the victim washed his aquarium with window cleaner? I don't know. How are things with you and Roxie?", "ANGELA: Uh, good... good. Taking it slow, you know. Letting things unfold in a... Are you seeing anybody?", "HODGINS: I, um... actually went out on a date last night.", "ANGELA: I'm glad to hear that.", "HODGINS: Any little twinge there?", "ANGELA: Definitely a little twinge, yeah, but...despite the twinge, I'm glad you're back in the saddle.", "HODGINS: Oh, I'm not back in the saddle exactly. It was just a first date. Barely got out of the barn.", "ANGELA: You saw the victim's apartment, right?", "HODGINS: Yes... yeah. Yeah, it was a pigsty.", "ANGELA: I don't think that guy cleaned anything. Not with ammonia. Not with anything.", "(Cut to Brennan's office. Booth sat on sofa with ice bag on his head with Brennan standing by him. Sweets enters and sits down.)", "SWEETS: I came as soon as I heard Booth had a brain injury. What part of your head hurts?", "BOOTH: The part above my shoulders.", "BRENNAN: The doctor said he has a concussion. He shouldn't fall asleep. Otherwise, not serious.", "BOOTH: Tell him about the hallucination.", "SWEETS: You hallucinated?", "BOOTH: Luc Robitaille gave me advice.", "BRENNAN: You got advice on a murder case from...", "SWEETS: What did he say?", "BOOTH: He said, \"Don't worry about the... the player's blood.\"", "SWEETS: That's very interesting.", "BOOTH: Lucky Luc told me to look in a different direction.", "SWEETS: That's interesting.", "BOOTH: Stop saying that... just stop.", "(Cam enters)", "CAM: Preliminary DNA tests show that the blood mixed in with the victim's did not belong to Lou Herrin.", "BOOTH: Lucky Luc was right.", "CAM: All that means is that you got your brains scrambled for nothing.", "BOOTH: Lucky Luc is never wrong.", "SWEETS: This hallucination could be, uh, Booth's subconscious speaking to him through the voice and image of someone that he idolizes.", "BRENNAN: Like a modern version of a Vision Quest?", "BOOTH: You know what, hallucination or not... (stands) Lucky Luc, he told me something about myself that... He told me something.", "SWEETS: I'd be very interested in knowing what he said.", "BOOTH: Lucky for me, you're never gonna find out because Bones is gonna drive me home and get me soup.", "(Booth and Brennan leave the office)", "(Cut to Hodgins and Wendell in Pete Carlson's apartment)", "HODGINS: There has got to be some reason these fish died of ammonia poison.", "WENDELL: Last time I did this, I ended up in juvie hall over the weekend.", "HODGINS: What?", "WENDELL: What? Uh, nothing.", "HODGINS: Whoa, wow. Oh wow. (pulls jewellery out of bottom of tank) Buried treasure.", "WENDELL: What do we do now?", "HODGINS: Find out why the hell he was hiding jewellery in a fish tank.", "(Cut to FBI meeting room)", "CAROLINE: Have any of you ever heard of something called \"chain of evidence\"?", "PEROTTA: Ms. Julian...", "CAROLINE: Why didn't you go with these two idiots to the victim's home?", "CAM: Please don't call my people idiots.", "HODGINS: We're not idiots.", "WENDELL: I feel like an idiot.", "CAM: You don't speak right now-- neither of you. It's a crime scene. My people are very often at crime scenes. It's what we do.", "CAROLINE: No, it's not. You've got it in your heads that you're crime scene types. This is Booth's fault for indulging your fantasies. You are not crime scene types. You are lab rats.", "CAM: No chain of evidence was broken. When Dr. Hodgins and Mr. Bray found the items, they immediately called me. I called Booth, and when his head hurt too much to talk to me, I called Agent Perotta.", "PEROTTA: Ms. Julian...", "CAROLINE: What?", "PEROTTA: A photograph of dead fish led them to this. I think that kind of brilliance is worth it.", "CAROLINE: You've been taken hostage by the squints, Agent Perotta. Turns out these items were reported destroyed in a fire.", "HODGINS: The victim was a fireman.", "WENDELL: The FBI could check to see if the Firedawgs put out that fire.", "HODGINS: Stole from the fire, cleaned off with ammonia.", "WENDELL: Hidden in the aquarium, killed the fish.", "CAM: Okay. Now you are straying out of your territory.", "CAROLINE: No, they got it right. The bracelet Agents Booth and Perotta recovered from the victim's loan shark was reported destroyed by that same fire.", "PEROTTA: My people were right.", "CAM, CAROLINE, WENDELL AND HODGINS: Your people?", "WENDELL AND HODGINS: We're Booth's people.", "(Cut to Booth's apartment. Booth looking at photos and names on his laptop)", "BOOTH: They're on the Firedawgs, but they also played on the same high school team. What brings them together, eh?", "(Brennan comes in through the door)", "BRENNAN: I'm back.", "BOOTH: Hey, what brings them together? What brings the team together?", "BRENNAN: So, I got the soup from the place. And, yes, I told Mama that it was for you especially.", "BOOTH: It's all about the team there. It's all...", "BRENNAN: What are you doing?", "BOOTH: It's all about the team there. Bones, it's all about the team there. They...these four guys...they all played hockey together in high school, and now they all play together as a team.", "BRENNAN: They're all firemen?", "BOOTH: Yeah. They all worked the jewellery store fire. One of these three guys is the murderer.", "BRENNAN: According to Mr. Lucky?", "BOOTH: It's Luc, okay? It is... it... it's not Mr. Lucky. It is Luc Robitaille. Left wing. Great shot. Luc Robitaille-- he's one of the best left wings of all time.", "BRENNAN: (picking up spike) What is this?", "BOOTH: It's a lace puller. Why?", "BRENNAN: I think it might be the murder weapon.", "(Cut to interrogation room. Brennan sat on one side of the table, with Dave Simms, Alex Pinna and Ed Fralic on the other side. Booth standing behind Brennan. Perotta enters)", "PEROTTA: We want to discuss the jewellery store fire.", "ALEX PINNA: I want a lawyer.", "DAVE SIMMS: What for, Alex? We didn't do anything wrong. None of us did.", "BOOTH: What about Pete?", "PEROTTA: He break some kind of fireman code, something like that? (Sits)", "ED FRALIC: Yeah, something like that.", "ALEX PINNA: I've got nothing to say about any of this. I want a lawyer.", "BRENNAN: We know Carlson was beaten with a hockey stick, after which a lace puller entered his brain through his eye and killed him.", "BOOTH: What about your dream, Ed? You were gonna play for the NHL, right? \"Local player scouted by the NHL.\" Look at that one. Oh, this one's good, too. \"Fralic's hat trick wins game.\"", "ED FRALIC: I got injured.", "BRENNAN: This injury would end any chance of a career in professional hockey.", "DAVE SIMMS: What does that have to do with anything?", "ED FRALIC: Look, I got hurt, now I sell siding, and I play hockey on the weekends.", "ALEX PINNA: Why you got to rub his face in the past?", "BOOTH: Who ruined you?", "ED: Pete Carlson. It was Pete.", "BOOTH: You all knew about the stolen jewellery.", "PEROTTA: The question is, how many of you were there the night he was killed?", "DAVE SIMMS: None of us. Nobody here had anything to do with that.", "BRENNAN: We have the hockey stick, the murder weapon and DNA.", "BOOTH: It's only a matter of time.", "ED FRALIC: Yeah.", "DAVE SIMMS: What?", "ED: It was me. I asked to meet Pete on the ice after everybody left. I told him to give back the stolen jewellery, and he said to me... He said to me that I was a... a coward. That I didn't do anything to him back in the day when he wrecked my life and I wouldn't do anything to him now. Well, he was wrong.", "(Cut to ice rink - Brennan and Booth skating)", "BRENNAN: I'm not positive this is a good idea.", "BOOTH: Oh, I got you! I got you. Stay up here. (Brennan falls down) Okay, it's all right. Here we go, one more. (Booth picks Brennan up) Well, you know what, I got to stay up all night, so who better to keep me company than you?", "BRENNAN: You and me skating is saving you from slipping into a coma?", "BOOTH: Oh, easy, Bones. Now I'm gonna go down.", "BRENNAN: I have a lot of natural athletic ability.", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah, natural. I can... I can see that. Real smooth and natural. That's it. Well done.", "BRENNAN: That Agent Perotta, she really enjoyed working with us.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: But, um... you're the only FBI agent I want to work with. Will you tell me what the Lucky Luciano told you?", "BOOTH: He's not an Italian opera singer. Bones, why do you always say that wrong? You do it on purpose, don't you?", "(Booth and Brennan skating holding hands)", "BRENNAN: I would like to know what he said.", "BOOTH: He said that I'm not like my old man. He said I'm made of better stuff.", "BRENNAN: Well... I don't know your old man, your father, but... I think you're made of very, very good stuff.", "BOOTH: Hey, you know what? Forget about Agent Perotta, all right? Nothing's gonna change between me and you.", "BRENNAN: Well, entropy is a natural force that pulls everything apart at a subatomic level. Everything changes.", "(Booth pushing Brennan on the ice)", "BOOTH: Not everything, Bones.", "BRENNNAN: Don't.", "BOOTH: Not everything.", "BRENNAN: You're gonna make me fall.", "BOOTH: I'm never gonna make you fall. I'm always here.", "BOOTH: Here comes the big spin. (laughter fade out)", "END." ]

[ "With Booth in the hospital with a bad back , Brennan must work with Agent Payton Perrota to investigate the murder of a promotional model for ImagiCon (a parody of the comic book convention Comic-Con ). Their investigation leads them to discover that the murder of the woman might be linked to the possession of an age-old prop of Excalibur from a famous French movie, La Mort d'Arthur." ]

[ "\"The Princess and the Pear\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Body dump site - three kids dressed up in fantasy attire are walking through a tunnel)", "MAGE: Lo, the cave where the princess doth dwell. Let the light of Mithryleen guide our path.", "WARRIOR: Smells like ass in here, yo.", "MAGE: Yo? Who is this Yo of whom you speak? I know him not.", "WARRIOR: For real, Trev. Let's go back. Those other freaks are gonna beat us to the treasure, anyway.", "MAGE: The name's Blackthorne, and you'd do well to remember it.", "WARRIOR: Your name is Trevor Vertuca, and that is your mom's cell phone. Now call her to pick us up, or I will. This is getting old, right, Ezra?", "(Ezra screams and runs out)", "MAGE: A rat? Come on.", "WARRIOR: Wait for me! Wait for me! (He runs too)", "MAGE: Look, I'm sorry about this. We don't usually break character, but... I mean, you have to dock points; I understand. (He shine the cell phone light to see what is moving and sees that it's a body) What the... (He screams and runs out too)", "(Cut to- Booth's apartment)", "BRENNAN: (outside the front door) Open up! Open up!", "BOOTH: All right, all right, all right, I'm coming, it's... Just keep it down.", "BRENNAN: (Outside the front door) what's taking so long? (Booth opens the door)", "BOOTH: Hey!", "BRENNAN: What's wrong?", "BOOTH: Nothing; come on in. How about some coffee? Arabian Bean!", "BRENNAN: You hurt your back again?", "BOOTH: No, no...no. It's that obvious, huh?", "BRENNAN: Your gait suggests you re-strained your anterior longitudinal ligament.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, I blame the couch, all right? I fell asleep last night watching the game. Look, I figured you fixed my back last time, really well, and I just thought that maybe you could fix it again, so use your little magic knuckles, and hit it up, and we're good to go.", "BRENNAN: Booth, if this has become a recurring problem, you should see a specialist.", "BOOTH: Right, I get it-all disclaimers apply. Here we go, hit the back-chop-chop--we got a case.", "BRENNAN: No!", "BOOTH: What do you mean *no*? Last time I had this, you were begging to help me.", "BRENNAN: I probably shouldn't have touched you the last time. You need a medical doctor.", "BOOTH: I'm not asking you to perform surgery; just do what you did last time and fix it with your magic knuckles... Look, there's no one I trust more to get my back and crack it, than *you*.", "BRENNAN: Wow!", "BOOTH: You want more?", "BRENNAN: No, that was effective. Turn around. Okay, ready?", "BOOTH: Okay. This is gonna be good. Believe me, I really am not going to forget ... (Brennan wraps her arms around booth and cracks his back) this.", "(Cut to- Jeffersonian lab)", "ANGELA: How is he?", "BRENNAN: Dr. Patel suspects a herniated disc in Booth's lumbar region. We'll know which vertebrae when the X-rays get here.", "ANGELA: So you didn't actually paralyze him?", "BRENNAN: No. The vicodin seems to be working. He claims it makes the furniture feel friendly. But he'll be on bed rest for the remainder of the week.", "CAM: Are you okay?", "BRENNAN: Of course. I wasn't the one who was injured. Admittedly, I shouldn't have let Booth talk me into adjusting him. (They reach the forensic platform) Agent Perotta.", "PEROTTA: Dr. Brennan. Nice to see you, I was honored you requested me as a substitute for Agent Booth.", "BRENNAN: The variables involved in breaking in a new person outweigh the benefit of possibly finding a better investigator.", "PEROTTA: Aw, let's not get gushy about it.", "CAM: Agent Perotta and I inspected the dump site, and I cleared the body to be transported back to the lab. We haven't determined identity yet.", "BRENNAN: Booth usually waits for me to conduct my own examination of the scene.", "PEROTTA: Do you want to go back there?", "BRENNAN: No. I'll examine the remains here, thank you. (Brennan reaches the examination tables) Mr. Fisher, welcome back. What are your preliminary findings?", "FISHER: Victim is female, twenty-five to twenty-nine years old. Severe damage to the skull; the mandible is almost completely severed.", "BRENNAN: Avulsions to the tissue at the maxillary and mandibular incisors-- that's very unusual.", "FISHER: It's like her face was hit by a wrecking ball.", "BRENNAN: This damage is going to make facial reconstruction very difficult.", "FISHER: Yeah.", "(Brennan grabs her bag and leaves)", "BRENNAN: Flesh is all yours, Dr. Saroyan.", "PEROTTA: Does that mean we're officially investigating a murder?", "ANGELA: She's just upset because she put Booth in the hospital.", "PEROTTA: Well, I understand that, but I still need someone to officially say \"murder.\"", "CAM: Murder.", "PEROTTA: Thank you. So... what do we make of this clothing?", "ANGELA: Huh-- like a costume out of the Lord of the Rings, porno version.", "CAM: Fisher, you're into this stuff.", "FISHER: p0rn?", "CAM: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Geek stuff.", "FISHER: Superficial judgment.", "CAM: Both feet display erythema and heavy blistering, but no calluses. My guess is, she was standing in those princess pumps for hours. The skin here, on the back of the hand, is less desiccated than the area surrounding it. Not sure what that means yet.", "PEROTTA: May I? (Perotta pulls out a black light and shines it on the victim's hand which makes a marking on the victim's hand visible) Hello!", "(Cut to - Angela's office)", "ANGELA: It's a spectroline UV stamp. They're designed to withstand evaporation. No match to any local bars or clubs, but I'm still searching.", "BRENNAN: Agent Perotta discovered this?", "ANGELA: Yes. You should be nicer to her.", "BRENNAN: Well, I like working with Booth. I'm nice to him.", "(Fisher walks in)", "FISHER: Okay, I admit it, I'm a geek.", "BRENNAN: You're Greek?", "ANGELA: No, geek, sweetie.", "FISHER: I love it all. Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy, Xena, Akira. I even watch Fringe. My girlfriend Jill dumped me because of it, which is very depressing.", "ANGELA: Fisher, what doesn't depress you?", "FISHER: Answers. I know that insignia. I bet the victim was a booth babe at ImagiCon.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "FISHER: ImagiCon? It's a convention for fans of genre movies, comic books, video games, anime.", "ANGELA: And it's at Union Center till the end of the week.", "FISHER: Click on \"gallery\" for Booth Babe Roundup. Yeah. When Dr. Saroyan talked about the victim standing on her feet for hours, it sort of started to click for me.", "BRENNAN: Stop.", "ANGELA: That's definitely our dress.", "BRENNAN: And judging from her zygomatic arches and facial contours, there's a good chance that's our victim wearing it. Someone should inform Agent Perotta.", "ANGELA: That'd be you, sweetie.", "BRENNAN: Of course. I will inform Agent Perotta.", "(Cut to- ImagiCon)", "PEROTTA: These people don't look like killers.", "BRENNAN: I... disagree.", "TITLES ACT 1", "BRENNAN: Fascinating, a summit between the disenfranchised and the commercial franchises. I'm at a loss for an anthropological analogue.", "PEROTTA: So you really did a number on Booth's lower back, huh?", "BRENNAN: He had a mechanical problem which didn't show up on his X-rays. My adjustment aggravated it.", "PEROTTA: So, it was an accident.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Why? Did Booth tell you something different?", "PEROTTA: No, no, no. In fact, \"aggravated\" was, um, exactly the word he used. Oh, there's the Grimoire 3. 0 booth.", "PEROTTA: I'm Special Agent Perotta, FBI. This is Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian. We need you to answer a couple of questions. (Perotta shows a picture of the victim)", "SHINY KOPINSKY: Yeah, that's Kendra Kim. You can call me Shiny.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "SHINY KOPINSKY: It's my name. Shiny Kopinsky.", "PEROTTA: Shiny, you didn't find it strange at all that Kendra didn't show up for work?", "SHINY KOPINSKY: I just figured the Grimoire people fired her, for her attitude.", "BRENNAN: What are Grimoire people?", "SHINY KOPINSKY: Grimoire 3. 0 is the online encyclopaedia fantastica for the mouth breather crowd.", "BRENNAN: Your job is to sexualize software?", "PEROTTA: You mentioned Kendra had an attitude.", "SHINY KOPINSKY: Kendra thought she was a princess. She kept bragging about the fact that this was her last trade show and she was sitting on some gold mine, and it was gonna cash in big.", "BRENNAN: What was the gold mine?", "SHINY KOPINSKY: She wouldn't say. But one day, I followed her on a lunch break. I figured I'd catch her talking to some game developer. I mean, those guys are loaded, and some of them even smell normal. But the only person I saw her talking to was some loser at the Blacksmith booth.", "(Brennan and Perotta walk over to the blacksmith booth)", "PEROTTA: Are you Kroon the Blacksmith?", "PETER KROON: Kroon, I am. And who be ye, fair maiden?", "PEROTTA: I be a special agent in search of justice and truth.", "PETER KROON: Yea, thou art. How can I assist thee?", "PEROTTA: By knocking off the medieval stuff and answering some questions.", "BRENNAN: That would make me feel more comfortable.", "PEROTTA: I assume \"Kroon the Blacksmith\" is not on your driver's license.", "PETER KROON: The name's Peter Kroon. I don't know what you've heard, but these weapons are all legal and accounted for.", "PEROTTA: Do you know this young woman? (Perotta shows the victim's picture)", "PETER KROON: I know her first name. Kimba.", "BRENNAN: Kendra.", "PETER KROON: Whatever. She's the girl with Excalibur.", "BRENNAN: You mean the sword from the King Arthur mythos?", "PETER KROON: Yes. Though in this case, it's a prop sword from the film \"La Mort d'Arthur\". Is she in trouble?", "PEROTTA: No.", "BRENNAN: No. She's dead.", "VISITOR: Do you sell nunchaku?", "PETER KROON: No. No.", "PEROTTA: Why do you ask if she's in trouble?", "PETER KROON: Uh, she stopped by and asked me how much I'd give her for it. Excalibur. I take a look, and go, \"Whoa, that ain't no ordinary cutlery.\" I have to wonder if it's not, you know, stolen.", "BRENNAN: Did it have significant value?", "PETER KROON: It was worth thousands. Tens of thousands.", "PEROTTA: You weren't tempted to kill her, take it for yourself?", "PETER KROON: Look, I could've told her it was worth two hundred bucks, ripped her off, but I didn't. I sent her to Carl Derf to list it at the auction.", "BRENNAN: Why was this piece of cutlery worth so much?", "PETER KROON: It was the actual prop wielded by Guy Thivisol in the first fantasy film ever made! The Excalibur from this film is the holy grail of fantasy memorabilia. Here it is. Beautiful.", "PEROTTA: And you have no idea where Kendra Kim got it?", "PETER KROON: She said she got it from her family.", "PEROTTA: You don't believe her?", "PETER KROON: That sword hasn't been seen in 20 years. What I thought was that she got it from someone else here.", "BRENNAN: Stole it?", "PETER KROON: Stole it, maybe. The girl was hot. That goes a long way in a place like this.", "(Cut to - Autopsy room)", "FISHER: Trauma is limited to the skull. Once I clean the skeleton and get a better look at the mandibular damage, I'll know more. Or get fired for incompetence.", "CAM: Well, I am finished with the soft tissue, so you can remove the flesh now.", "HODGINS: According to our old friends Diptera and Coleoptera, I'd place actual time of death about 72 hours ago. Also, I discovered soil under her nails, along with traces of Virginia nailwort. Neither native to the dump site. (Fisher sighes) What's with the long face there, sunshine?", "CAM: Mr. Fisher just broke up with his girlfriend and he's feeling a little down.", "HODGINS: What about me? My girlfriend and I broke up and I gotta see her at work every day.", "CAM: Well, obviously, it hasn't blackened your soul like it has mine.", "HODGINS: There was some light charring.", "CAM: I'm dead inside.", "HODGINS: Okay, you win. Happy?", "CAM: Not that I can ever remember.", "(Cut to- Booth in his apartment, Brennan in her office, on the phone)", "BRENNAN: So, what did your doctor say?", "BOOTH: Something about a possible herniation occurred on my disks L-3,L-4. Nothing, you know, a little rest stretching... Hey, maybe a good massage will just kick it right out.", "BRENNAN: Intervertebral disk degeneration shouldn't be taken lightly. Are you wearing your lumbo-sacral support belt?", "BOOTH: Yeah, the girdle, you mean. Yes, it's nice and tight. Oh, hold on. (He answers the 2nd line) It's Booth.", "PEROTTA: Hey, it's Perotta. How you doing? Uh, you need anything?", "BOOTH: No. I am just dandy.", "PEROTTA: Well, if you do, um... Hey, we found the victim's father.", "BRENNAN: We did?", "PEROTTA: Who's that?", "BOOTH: It's Booth.", "PEROTTA: No, no, no, before it was you.", "BRENNAN: Booth, you pressed \"conference.\"", "PEROTTA: Dr. Brennan?", "BOOTH: It's me Booth.", "BRENNAN: Booth is on painkillers. Is the victim's father coming in?", "BOOTH: I want to be there.", "BRENNAN: No, you can't. He can't PEROTTA: Why?", "BOOTH: Yes, I can. What are you still doing on this call?", "BRENNAN: No, Agent Perotta, his back is very bad. He can't be there. You can't let him in.", "BOOTH: Yes, I can. I am the ranking officer.", "BRENNAN: But you are incapacitated by painkillers.", "BOOTH: Bones, enough, okay? I'm not incapacapitated, whatever you said there, all right? I just... Don't listen to her, Perotta. Don't.", "(Cut to- FBI Meeting room - Perotta is interrogating the victim's father, Booth is via video feed on a laptop)", "PEROTTA: Did you daughter live at home with you, Mr. Kim?", "MR. KIM: No. Kendra lived in a condo in Logan Circle.", "BOOTH: Look, ask him when was the last time he saw his daughter.", "MR. KIM: What was that?", "PEROTTA: This is Agent, um, Booth.", "BOOTH: Hello?", "PEROTTA: He's unable to be with us in person.", "MR. KIM: Kendra and I didn't see each other much, despite the fact that I put a roof over her head.", "PEROTTA: According to the modeling agency that booked your daughter, all of her checks were sent to your address.", "MR. KIM: The money went to pay the mortgage on the condo, which is also in my name.", "BOOTH: It's kind of a weird arrangement, now isn't it?", "MR. KIM: So's this.", "BOOTH: Well, considering my situation and my back, just... continue.", "MR. KIM: Kendra was about as irresponsible as a person could be. I told her, after she paid her debt to me, she could spend her money how she wanted.", "PEROTTA: Tough love.", "BOOTH: Did you give her a sword?", "MR. KIM: A sword?", "BOOTH: It's a knife, but it's only huge.", "MR. KIM: No.", "BOOTH: But did you daughter mention that she might have something of value?", "MR. KIM: No.", "BOOTH: Probably because you'd take it away from her.", "PEROTTA: Okay, this doesn't work.", "BOOTH: Don't shut me off!", "PEROTTA: I'd like to take a look at your daughter's condo, Mr. Kim.", "(Cut to- Kendra's condo - Perotta and Brennan enter the condo to find that it has been trashed)", "BRENNAN: Looks like someone really wanted that sword.", "ACT 2", "(Hodgins and a few FBI techs have joined Perotta and Brennan)", "PEROTTA: Precise slashes to the couch and removal of ventilation screens suggest purpose frustrated in the search.", "FBI TECH: Digital answering machine behind the bed. It's cracked.", "PEROTTA: See if Computer Forensics can get anything off of it.", "HODGINS: Found some running shoes in the closet. Soles contain insects, soil and blood.", "PEROTTA: You want our lab to analyze that or yours?", "HODGINS: Yeah, I'd like to see you try and get these away from me now. Figuratively speaking, of course.", "PEROTTA: Anything else, Dr. Hodgins?", "HODGINS: In some ways, you're just like Booth. Mean that as a compliment.", "PEROTTA: I don't think you do.", "(Cut to- Jeffersonian)", "FISHER: Now, check this out. Mandibular trauma downward, maxillary trauma upward, trauma to the molars extends bilaterally.", "BRENNAN: The force radiated symmetrically from the center of her mouth.", "FISHER: It's like her face exploded.", "BRENNAN: Certainly nothing I've seen before. Very good, Mr. Fisher.", "FISHER: Really? Just seems like the truth is further away than it was before and like laughing at us.", "BRENNAN: Process of elimination is a key step to discovering the truth. I've seen many unusual murder weapons. So the fact that I don't recognize this one, rules out all the others.", "FISHER: My kind of silver ling. It's depressing.", "(Cut to- Cam's office)", "HODGINS: The blood I found on the Booth babe's running shoes-- not human. I think our princess kissed a toad. Bufo Americanus. American toad.", "CAM: So she stepped on a frog?", "HODGINS: A toad. Bufo Americanus. Which amphibian is down to one local population right here near the Potomac in an area which matches the soil and the flora found beneath her fingernails.", "CAM: She went for a run, stepped on a frog, and buried something.", "HODGINS: A toad, and yeah, yeah, that's the picture forming in my mind, too.", "(Cut to - FBI Meeting room)", "PEROTTA: We pulled this message off the victim's answering machine.", "(Voice on a tape): I don't know who you think we're fooling, little princess, but you're playing with a woman who gets what she wants. You've got three days. I want that sword.", "SWEETS: You want me to do a profile from a voice on an answering machine?", "PEROTTA: Give it a shot. You're a smarty-pants.", "SWEETS: Okay, fine. \"You're playing with a woman.\" That suggests that the caller regards the victim as a child in comparison.", "PEROTTA: Okay, so, so what, an old woman?", "SWEETS: No, no, experientially, probably in terms of sexual experience. So you're looking for someone fairly promiscuous. I think that she's already tried to take the sword from a man, and now is truly annoyed that she has to deal with a girl.", "PEROTTA: The auctioneer is a man, and he evaluated the sword before Kendra panicked and buried it.", "(Cut to - ImagiCon)", "DERF: I can assure you that this is a clean and fair auction. We've been running this auction for 15 years.", "PEROTTA: Please answer the question, Mr. Dorf.", "DERF: \"Derf.\" Yes, I certified and registered the item. I even gave the consigner an option to store it in our secure room. She declined.", "PEROTTA: Consigner has to give you detailed contact information, right?", "DERF: If they want to get paid.", "PEROTTA: And sometimes you give that information to certain parties interested in illegal pre-bidding?", "DERF: What? No, no. Look, I told you before...", "SWEETS: Your pupils are constricted, suggesting an increase in adrenaline.", "DERF: What?", "SWEETS: And the change in voice pitch indicates increased pressure in the neck via the laryngeal prominence.", "DERF: What, what are you saying?", "SWEETS: You're lying to us. Kinesthesia is a clear indicator of dissembling, Mr. Dorf.", "DERF: \"Derf.\" But look...", "PEROTTA: Do you recognize this voice?", "(Voice on the tape): I don't know who you think you're fooling, little princess, but you're playing with a woman who gets what she wants. You've got three days. I want that sword.", "SWEETS: Did that woman contact you about the sword?", "DERF: Yes, she did. Her name is Valerie Daniels. She's a medieval weapons collector.", "PEROTTA: And you provided her with Kendra Kim's address and phone number.", "DERF: Every auction does private pre-bids, and no one ever gets...", "PEROTTA: Hurt?", "DERF: What? Wait a minute. What about the Excalibur? Did you find it? Is it still going up for auction?", "PEROTTA: Booth is right. You're like a portable polygraph.", "SWEETS: He didn't mean that in a good way, though, did he?", "(Cut to- FBI Interrogation room)", "SWEETS: This is quite a collection of medieval and fantasy weapons, Miss Daniels.", "VALERIE DANIELS: My parents call it a waste of my trust fund, which is praise enough for me.", "PEROTTA: Seems like an unlikely hobby for a young woman.", "VALERIE DANIELS: I like sharp edges. I like sharp against soft. What do you like, Dr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: What?", "PEROTTA: Can you account for your whereabouts Wednesday night?", "VALERIE DANIELS: Yeah. I was somewhere not killing Kendra Kim. That's what you wanted to know, right?", "PEROTTA: It's not what I asked.", "VALERIE DANIELS: I was at the Immortal Comics after-party. You can ask Dean Noveck, the publisher. We slept together. The s*x was vanilla. At least I got an alibi out of it, right?", "SWEETS: You feel a need to be in control, don't you, Miss Daniels?", "VALERIE DANIELS: I'd like to control you if you're up for it.", "SWEETS: Oh, I assure you I'm not. And your attempt to regain self-esteem through sexual intimidation will not repair the dysfunctional relationship you had with your father. Abandonment, abuse, indifference.", "VALERIE DANIELS: You are far more ripped under those schoolboy duds than one would think, aren't you, Dr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: Yes, but right now, I'm more interested to hear why you trashed Kendra's condo after you didn't kill her.", "VALERIE DANIELS: Her condo was trashed?", "PEROTTA: They were looking for Excalibur. That's what you wanted, right?", "VALERIE DANIELS: I travel the world tracking down rare and beautiful weapons. I do research, I develop contacts, I put in serious work. Along comes this Booth babe with a famous sword thought to be lost for decades. She didn't deserve it.", "PEROTTA: But you deserved it.", "VALERIE DANIELS: I asked her where did she get it. She said somebody dressed as a black knight just gave it to her on the first day of ImagiCon. Just walked up and presented it to her as a gift. She expected me to believe that? I didn't kill the girl. I just wanted the sword.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to - Park)", "HODGINS: Thanks for coming along.", "ANGELA: Yeah, any chance to get some fresh air.", "HODGINS: Lone guy with a metal detector in the bushes-- looks kind of creepy.", "ANGELA: It is. And I know you. Oh, boy! Frog!", "HODGINS: Toad, not frog. Bufo Americanus. And Virginia nailwort.", "ANGELA: We're close to where she buried the sword.", "HODGINS: Hold on a second. I got frequency response.", "HODGINS: Excalibur. (He digs up the sword and holds it up in the air) I am the once-and-future king.", "ANGELA: Way to not be creepy.", "ACT 3", "(Cut to - Forensic Platform)", "BRENNAN: That is not a toy, Dr. Hodgins.", "FISHER: It kind of is. It's a movie prop.", "HODGINS: Stainless steel blade. That was new technology for the time. Edge is dull, of course.", "BRENNAN: May I see? It's badly balanced. The blade is warped.", "PEROTTA: All of the prints on the sword belong to Kendra Kim. Could this be the murder weapon?", "FISHER: She wasn't stabbed or slashed. The damage to her jaw is unique. It wasn't from being struck with a sword.", "SWEETS: Is that the sword? Can I? An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.", "BRENNAN: Actually, the age in which swords were the primary infantry weapon was some of the most barbaric in history.", "PEROTTA: It's a line from Star Wars.", "SWEETS: Obi-Wan Kenobi.", "BRENNAN: What language is that supposed to be?", "HODGINS: Why is he all excited?", "SWEETS: Finding this sword has given us a unique advantage in this case. We now have what the killer wants the most. It only makes sense that the killer's gonna come after it again.", "PEROTTA: Dr. Sweets wants to lay a trap.", "SWEETS: You said that the auctioneer is no longer a suspect, correct?", "PEROTTA: So we lean on him to fake the auction?", "BRENNAN: We can't auction off evidence.", "SWEETS: I never thought of that.", "HODGINS: We could insert an undercover asset who outbids everyone for the item no matter how high the price goes.", "PEROTTA: The auction's tomorrow. I don't have time to set up that kind of operation.", "SWEETS: I'll do it. You and Dr. Brennan have already been seen walking around ImagiCon asking questions, right? Whereas I am an unknown quantity. An enigma. Who is this man bidding so aggressively for Excalibur? I'm confident that if our killer is there, this will provoke him to reveal himself. I play the mystery bidder, you observe the unsuspecting suspects via video feed in a separate room.", "PEROTTA: Who's gonna run the camera?", "SWEETS: We need someone who blends in. Someone who looks like they belong there.", "(They all look at Fisher)", "FISHER: I drug your ghost across the country. And we plotted out my death in every city Memories would whisper, \"Here is where you rest,\" ah. What's wrong now?", "(Cut to- ImagiCom Auction room)", "DERF: Sold to the Rancor princess. Congratulations, ma'am.", "BRENNAN: Is there a special reason why you wanted me here, Agent Perotta?", "PEROTTA:I- I thought you wanted to be involved in the investigation.", "BRENNAN: Uh, um, okay. Pan around, Fisher.", "DERF: We have an Imperial...", "PEROTTA: Good. There is Peter Kroon.", "DERF: Bidding starts at...", "PEROTTA: And there is Valerie Daniels. Let's hope she doesn't recognize Sweets.", "BRENNAN: Oh, there's the Black Knight. Valerie Daniels said that a Black Knight gave Kendra the sword.", "PEROTTA: All right, stay on this one, Fisher.", "DERF: Okay, lot 922. We have here the Geiger counter, the actual Geiger counter used by Ron Berger in \"The Day of the Atom\". Who can forget that sound right before the giant cockroach attack? Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click! Bidding starts at $10,000. Do I have ten? Ten to the Elven Warrior! 15 to the Snaarflap in the front row. Do I have 16? Sixteen? $20,000! Going once, twice. Sold to the gentleman Molnar! Uh, sorry, ma'am. Female Molnar.", "PEROTTA: Okay, here we go. Sword is next. Uh, Fisher, find Sweets. Sweets, you got to try to keep that giant fuzzy thing between you and Valerie Daniels, okay?", "SWEETS: She won't recognize me.", "BRENNAN: Where did he get that disguise on such short notice?", "PEROTTA: My guess is his closet.", "DERF: Our last item needs no introduction: The Excalibur sword from the film \"La Mort d'Arthur\". As you may have heard, the seller of this item tragically died this week. According to her family's wishes, the proceeds from this lot will go to charity. Due to the rare nature of this item, bidding will start at $50,000. This will separate the men from the boys. (Valerie Daniels raises her auction card) Or the women! $50,000 to the lady in black. Do I hear 55? Sixty? 60 to the gentleman from the future with the red lips. Do I hear 70? $70,000, yes! Do I hear 80? $80,000! Do I hear 90? We have 80 on the table. Do I hear...", "BADGLEY MORMONT: One hundred and fifty.", "PEROTTA: Fisher, let me take a look at this guy.", "DERF: $150,000. Going once, twice... One hundred sixty! One hundred and seventy! Two? $200,000!", "VALERIE DANIELS: Who is that guy?", "BRENNAN: Who is that guy?", "DERF: This was Johnny Gerard's first ever fantasy film.", "SWEETS: $300,000!", "DERF: Sir? $400,000! $400,000!", "BRENNAN: In 193 A.D., the Praetorian Guard took over Rome and auctioned off the entire empire to the highest bidder. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am.", "PEROTTA: Sweets, it's fake money. Okay? Just do it.", "DERF: twice...", "PEROTTA: Do it!", "SWEETS: Five hundred!", "DERF: $500,000 for the Excalibur sword. A half a million dollars. Sir? Ma'am? $500,000 going once... twice...sold to the skinny gentleman dressed as a... Congratulations, sir. And thank you, everyone. Join us at the medieval weapons demonstration in the exhibit hall.", "FISHER: How you doing? Just making a documentary.", "PEROTTA: Well, I am gonna go talk to James Bond. (She approaches him) Nice suit. Got a minute? Badgley Mormont? Is that your real name?", "BADGLEY MORMONT: Of course it's my real name. It's a family name. Could I possibly get my passport back?", "PEROTTA: You in a big hurry to get somewhere?", "BADGLEY MORMONT: I need to make a flight, yes.", "PEROTTA: What's your business with the sword?", "BADGLEY MORMONT: I represent a group of collectors known as the Arthurian Consortium. We house the world's largest collection of materials relating to Camelot. They wanted the sword.", "DERF: That was actually pretty wild. But I'm pretty sure no one realized the auction was bogus.", "BADGLEY MORMONT: The auction was fixed?", "DERF: Uh oh!", "BADGLEY MORMONT: I'm going to sue you, and I'm going to sue you.", "(Cut to- Sweets' car)", "SWEETS: You know, intellectually, I knew the auction was fixed, but, man, my heart was pumping.", "BRENNAN: Well technically, your adrenal glands were secreting.", "SWEETS: Okay, remember last session when we talked about the correcting and how it could be read the wrong way?", "BRENNAN: Right. So...how did it feel when you won the sword?", "SWEETS: Awesome! Thank you for asking. Though I got to say, I'll be glad to be back behind my desk. I had enough excitement to last me...", "(A car speeds right into them, forcing them off the road. Sweets is injured. Brennan gets out of the car to confront their attacker, after he steals the sword)", "BRENNAN: Stop!", "(They have a fight, where Brennan manages to get the sword back)", "BRENNAN: Sweets, are you hurt?", "SWEETS: I- I don't know. I don't know. Mad props.", "BRENNAN: Thanks. You okay?", "ACT 4", "(Cut to - Brennan in her office, Booth on the phone)", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what? I'm coming in. All right? You could've been killed.", "BRENNAN: No, you shouldn't move, Booth. With a herniated disc, the splintered cartilage can irritate the nerves and...", "BOOTH: I'm fine.", "BRENNAN: So the-the pain is gone?", "BOOTH: Don't feel a thing. (He tries to get up from the couch) I might not be moving as fast, but, hey, still haven't lost my edge. So why wasn't Perotta with you?", "BRENNAN: I was with Sweets.", "BOOTH: That's like being protected by a Smurf. Not the sheriff, the guy who was in charge. I don't even know his name, but he was blue, small guy...", "BRENNAN: Booth have you taken more Vicodin? Look, Booth, I'm fine. Sweets is fine. A little shaken up, but really, we're both fine. Please don't come in.", "BOOTH: If you think so. But I'm ready.", "BRENNAN: That's amazing in your condition.", "BOOTH: Well, you know me.", "BRENNAN: I really think you should just take your Vicodin and rest.", "BOOTH: All right. Okay. Let me talk to Perotta.", "BRENNAN: All right.", "(Brennan hands the phone to Perotta)", "BRENNAN: He wants to talk to you.", "PEROTTA: How are you, Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: The only reason that I'm not coming in right now is because Bones told me not to. But she is your responsibility. Nothing can happen to her, okay? If anything happens to her, you know, that silky black hair and... that soft skin...", "PEROTTA:I will not let her out of my sight. You have my word.", "(Booth lays down on the floor and turns on the TV to cartoons)", "PEROTTA: Now, uh, we should really get back to the case, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Am I stopping you?", "PEROTTA: All right, I'm gonna go, uh, round up as many Black Knights as I can at ImagiCon. In the meantime, please don't go out in the field without me.", "BRENNAN: I don't need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.", "PEROTTA: You really don't, do you?", "BRENNAN: No.", "PEROTTA: Just call me. Please.", "(Cut to - Hodgins' station)", "HODGINS: Matched paint chips that we lifted from Sweets's car. Copolymer comprised of ethylenically unsaturated monomers containg hydroxyl group and other vinyl monomers.", "ANGELA: You know, they could have been killed, Hodgins. Sweets is way too young for this. He still has to show his ID to drink.", "HODGINS: But they weren't.", "ANGELA: And Brennan...She shouldn't be putting herself in danger like this.", "HODGINS: Angela, she cares too much to keep it all in the lab, and you're never gonna change her.", "ANGELA: Why can't she just get her rocks off through s*x like a normal person, right?", "HODGINS: I agree. And in the spirit of friendship, if, you know, you ever... (His computer beeps)", "ANGELA: Saved by the beep, huh?", "HODGINS: The paint is from an early '90s Ford Explorer. Now, all Perotta has to do is find an evil Black Knight that owns one.", "(Cut to - Forensic Platform)", "CAM: There's blood on the blade, so you landed some hits on the errant Knight. He's injured.", "BRENNAN: Can you pull DNA?", "CAM: Sure, but we have nothing to compare it to.", "BRENNAN: There are some fresh nicks on the blade. Only metal would damage the blade like this.", "CAM: Was he wearing armor?", "BRENNAN: No. His movement wasn't constricted at all.", "SWEETS: He jangled.", "CAM: Sweets. How are you feeling?", "SWEETS: Appreciative of the air bag. Um, doctor says I'm fine, thanks.", "CAM: Jangled.", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "CAM: A lot of change in his pocket?", "BRENNAN: I wasn't particularly observant because during the attack, I secreted copious quantities of adrenaline.", "CAM: An attack is an acceptable excuse, Dr. Brennan. I'll have Hodgins examine the sword and see what he can find.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "SWEETS: Uh, hey, I have to thank you, Dr. Brennan, for saving my life. I owe you a great deal.", "BRENNAN: I'm sure you would have done the same for me, Dr. Sweets, if I had been trapped in the car.", "SWEETS: Yeah. Though I have to say, you were quite impressive with that sword. Your move--very Xena-ish.", "BRENNAN: Xena-ish?", "SWEETS: Xena-- she's a tall warrior princess who is really...a fantasy.", "BRENNAN: Okay, thank you, I...think.", "SWEETS: Oh, uh, hey, since we shared this brush with death, Dr. Brennan, I was wondering if I could also call you \"Bones\" in future moments of shared camaraderie?", "BRENNAN: Don't call me \"Bones.\"", "SWEETS: Sure about that, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Please, don't.", "(Cut to - FBI Meeting room)", "PEROTTA: None of them drives a Ford Explorer, and they all have alibis. Four that can be corroborated by their moms.", "CAM: Any way for you to get blood samples?", "PEROTTA: No. I mean dressing like a medieval knight isn't exactly enough to get a warrant to collect DNA.", "CAM: Maybe you could get the names of a few more Black Knights from these Black Knights?", "PEROTTA: Okay. But I gotta tell you, being addressed as Me Ladey for two hours makes one a little cranky.", "BLACK KNIGHTS: Me Ladey!", "(Cut to - Autopsy room)", "CAM: Mr. Fisher!", "FISHER: This is the murder weapon. Not the literal murder weapon-- I'm not that good-- but it certainly falls within the genre or type.", "CAM: What is it?", "FISHER: The Pear of Anguish, a medieval torture device. Valerie had it.", "CAM: Valerie...", "FISHER: Valerie Daniels.", "CAM: One of the suspects in the case Valerie Daniels? How did you get it?", "FISHER: Oh, do we really have to get into that?", "CAM: Now we do, yeah.", "FISHER: Our eyes met at the auction. We shared a bleak and profound hopelessness.", "CAM: You spent the night with a suspect?", "FISHER: Yes. Valerie enjoys quite a collection of torture devices, and other archaic implements used for pleasure rather than pain. May I? (He takes a plaster skull from one of the shelves)", "CAM: Sure.", "FISHER: This particular Pear of Anguish is to be inserted in either the v*g1n* or the anus. There are larger ones for the mouth. As it is opened, it expands the hard palate and mandible in equal proportion, which would give exactly these injuries. Crushing the maxilla and zygomatic... thrusting the bones into the brain, killing the victim.", "CAM: That is one horrible way to die.", "FISHER: I wish the depravity and cruelty of human behaviour surprised me.", "CAM: Does that extend to disciplinary action? 'Cause you are in big trouble, my melancholy friend.", "FISHER: Of course I am. Who could expect a night of love to last?", "(Cut to Forensic platform)", "HODGINS: I've done every test I can think of on this sword.", "FISHER: Can I say something?", "CAM: The only thing I'm willing to hear from you right now, Mister Firsher, is \"I hereby tender my resignation.\"", "BRENNAN: Practically speaking, this sword is not worth enough to kill for.", "FISHER: If any thing is worth killing for, then everything is worth killing for.", "HODGINS: It's worth so much because it appeared in the movie.", "BRENNAN: That's conveyed value. Intrinsically it can't be worth more than a few hundred dollars.", "CAM: You mean if it really was a sword from 100 AD, you'd understand killing for it?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I would. I'd like very much to examine a sword like that. What about the marks on this sword?", "HODGINS: Metal. You struck metal.", "CAM: You said he was a knight.", "FISHER: Chain mail. I'm thinking chain mail.", "BRENNAN: Huh CAM: What?", "BRENNAN: The knight who attacked me was authentic in his moves. He used two attack manoeuvres: the serpent and the arrowhead.", "FISHER: Could've learned them from movies.", "BRENNAN: Movies never show combatants holding the sword correctly, which is one hand on the handle and the other on the blade. Our assailant's form was historically accurate.", "HODGINS: So, uh, you believe you were attacked by an actual Arthurian Knight?", "BRENNAN: No. Time travel is scientifically impossible. But I was attacked by someone well-trained in archaic martial arts, wearing chain mail. Hodgins, We're going to need to use your metal detector again.", "HODGINS: Sure.", "CAM: I think she means that you should go with her.", "HODGINS: Oh, yeah, right, hey, field trip.", "(Cut to - Off the highway)", "BRENNAN: What's that?", "HODGINS: Part of Sweets's car. Think he wants it back?", "BRENNAN: I'll ask him.", "HODGINS: So what am I looking for exactly? Maybe the Black Knight dropped his metal wallet?", "BRENNAN: No. Historically, that would be a leather sack held together with flax thread. It wouldn't register on your metal detector. I hit him hard. Perhaps hard enough to dislodge... (She finds something on the ground) some of his chain mail.", "(Cut to- Jeffersonian)", "HODGINS: What we're looking at is flat riveted chain mail.", "CAM: Is it real?", "HODGINS: If by \"real,\" you mean does it come from medieval times? No, no. But it's a very, very good replica, made of wrought iron. It's alternating rows of solid rings and riveted rings. Historically accurate, but the smelting methods for the wrought iron are modern.", "CAM: Can you trace the manufacturer?", "HODGINS: I had Fisher do it.", "CAM: Hodgins, are you trying to help someone? Because that's not in your character.", "HODGINS: The way I see it, Fisher's like a deep cover agent. He infiltrated the enemy to uncover secrets. In order to do so, he had to suffer a night of passion with a beautiful but dangerous enemy.", "FISHER: You have no idea how dangerous.", "HODGINS: He's sort of my hero.", "CAM: All right, what have you got?", "FISHER: I didn't have to go far. There are only three manufacturers working at this level with these materials. Can I please keep my job if I promise never ever to have s*x again with anyone, which, by the way, suits me temperamentally? I happen to be very self-sufficient.", "CAM: I won't require that, Mr. Fisher, but I do require discretion.", "FISHER: Nothing will pass these lips again, Dr. Saroyan. Even if a scary, hot woman in black leather uses the Pear of Anguish on me. Which I'm actually afraid she will.", "CAM: (Cam opens the file that Fisher just handed to her) Kroon the Blacksmith.", "(Cut to - FBI Interrogation room)", "BRENNAN: You started out as a serious historian at Yale. You studied medieval warfare and Chaucerian literature at Oxford. You're a published poet.", "PETER KROON: You're wondering how a man with all my potential ended up selling artefacts to fantasy geeks?", "BRENNAN: No, I don't care.", "PEROTTA: Your car shows you are the person who drove Dr. Brennan and Dr. Sweets off the road. Your wound matches the one Dr. Brennan delivered to her assailant. It was your blood on the sword, and we found fragments of your chain mail.", "BRENNAN: We know you did it.", "PEROTTA: We just don't know why.", "BRENNAN: But we really don't care why.", "PEROTTA: Well, I kind of do. The motive thing, it's pretty central to a conviction.", "SWEETS: I know why he did it. Read this to him. \"What is a man without his love?", "BRENNAN: \"What is a man without his love? If Love turn its back on thee, it is as a hearth with no fire, 'Tis best to slay the false heart, to waken from the dream that is life than live dark hearted in a dark world.\"", "PEROTTA: What's that?", "PETER KROON: It's mine. I wrote that.", "SWEETS: It's a confession.", "BRENNAN: It's a confession. I loved her. Stupid, but... love is stupid, you know.", "PEROTTA: You gave her the sword, your most valuable possession. And she tried to sell it for rent.", "BRENNAN: You killed her because she wanted to sell a movie prop?", "PETER KROON: You don't understand. No one understands true love anymore.", "(Cut to - Booth's apartment)", "BOOTH: So he killed her because he loved her so much?", "BRENNAN: The whole Age of Chivalry was irrational. Knights, maidens, and thank goodness we've moved through the Reformation and the enlightenment and into the age of reason. (She points to Booth's X-rays) Do you see what I mean?", "BOOTH: Not at all. I gotta tell you, I think they had it pretty good idea with the whole chivalry thing, you know, open cart doors, kill dragons, small hearts... BRENNAN: You still on vicodin?", "BOOTH: Yeah, a little BRENNAN: Okay, what I'm trying to show you is that your doctor's wrong. You've been mis-diagnosed.", "BOOTH: What? Give me that!", "BRENNAN: Just a small misalignment. I'd be happy to fix it for you.", "BOOTH: No, no, no. Last time you did that, I almost ended up in a wheel chair.", "BRENNAN: Don't you trust me?", "BOOTH: You know what? Let's not make it about trust!", "BRENNAN: Well, It's a fact, it's not what I make of it. You ready?", "BOOTH: Oh, definitely not ready! (He gets up from the couch, while Brennan wraps her arms around his neck again. A knock on the door is heard) It's open! (Brennan cracks Booth's back) Wow!", "PEROTTA: Oh! I didn't...I thought you said the door was open.", "BRENNAN: It is open. I'm done. I'm just leaving.", "PEROTTA: Oh! No, no, no. I just, um, brought some chilli I made, but, um, I'll just leave that there, and you can, um...are you all right?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, he's fine now!", "BOOTH: I gotta tell you, I'm a little afraid to move.", "BRENNAN: He's fine. Please, you stay.", "PEROTTA: Oh. I can't. You stay.", "BRENNAN: I gotta go. I can't stay.", "BOOTH: Wait, now nobody's staying? Hello?" ]

[ "A bungee-jumping couple plunged off of a hot-air balloon after getting married only to come face-to-face with a corpse lying at the bottom of the gorge. After ruling out suicide, Brennan, Booth and Sweets find themselves in the dirty side of the automobile sales industry. At the Jeffersonian, Cam notices an unknown substance oozing from the body and puts the lab into lockdown. The team have only 24 hours to unravel the mystery before the bones disintegrate." ]

[ "\"The Bone that Foam\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Crime scene - Two people are hanging on the side of a hot air balloon while the Pastor pronounces the wedding ceremony)", "WEDDING GUESTS: We love you guys!", "PASTOR RICK: Dale and Ellie met at base camp on Mt. Everest two years ago, so you know that they are comfortable with life's ups and downs. (Laughs) But know that your love will allow you to absorb these with new strength as you are joined for life in holy matrimony. Do you, Dale McGilliard, take Ellie Spiller to be your wife in sickness and in health, through good times and bad, till death do you part?", "DALE: I do.", "PASTOR RICK: And do you, Ellie, take Dale as your husband in...", "ELLIE: I do, I do, I do.", "PASTOR RICK: Then by the powers vested in me by the State of Maryland, I pronounce you man and wife. Kiss and take the plunge into married bliss. (Dale and Ellie jump of the balloon with a bungee rope and the see the human remains at the bottom of the gorge)", "(Cut to - Later, Booth and Brennan arrive at the scene where a cop waits on them)", "BOOTH: Well, my guess is that this is going to put a crimp in their wedding night.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Oh, come on, I mean coming face-to-face with death like that, kind of kills the desire don't you think?", "BRENNAN: I work with remains every day but if I'm sexuall attracted to someone I'm perfectly capable of engaging in spirited...", "BOOTH: Okay. Okay. Okay, Bones, I get it. I'm just saying, you know what? You have to be kind of crazy to bungee jump. Watch yourself.", "BRENNAN: I got it. It's perfectly safe.", "BOOTH: Tell that to Captain Splat over here, huh?", "COP: First bungee accident. I ever saw.", "BOOTH: Probably because you're ten.", "BRENNAN: This was no bungee accident. The victim is fairly well-dressed- tie, sport coat.", "BOOTH: Definitely not bungee attire.", "BRENNAN: And this compound tibial fracture- if he was still alive when he fell, the bone should have bled.", "COP: Meaning...?", "BRENNAN: Meaning someone threw him off the cliff after he was already dead.", "BOOTH: Yeah, suspicious circumstances, foul play, dirty deeds- I think you get the point. Okay, let's get it back to Jeffersonian, Bones. Right? (They start to high five then stop midway)", "BRENNAN: Oh. Gloves.", "BOOTH: Right. Wrap that up, kid.", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian lab - Autopsy room)", "CAM: It took ten minutes to hike down to the foot of the cliff to find the body. Local fauna include a wide variety of birds, rodents and crabs- all of which have had a go at the remains.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Fascinating that one would risk intraocular hemorrhaging, peroneal nerve damage, not to mention quadriplegia, just to experience a simple beta-endorphin rush.", "CAM: What fascinates me is that we've ruled out death by bungee and yet you remain fascinated.", "ANGELA: (Angela arrives in the autopsy room)Okay, I'm ready to start the facial reconstruction. (She sees the remains) Gross. Wow, this isreally gross. I'm going to come back.", "BRENNAN: Dental X-rays indicate the victim was undergoing dental restoration for abfraction lesions on his molars.", "CAM: Heavy grinder. High stress job?", "ANGELA: All right, well, I'll send pictures to Booth, see if he can check with local dentists.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Dr. Brennan, there is staining on this Le Fort 1 fracture.", "BRENNAN: Hemorrhaging into the maxillary sinuses.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Classic punch in the nose at or around the time of death.", "HODGINS: Which would be between two to five days ago.", "CAM: This body's been dead more than five days, the tissue shows a much higher rate of decomp.", "HODGINS: Yeah, I got late second instar Phormia regina and Chrysomya rufifacies. Which, I admit, seems weird, but my little squads of death don't lie.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: (Vincent sees that there's a lump in the skin that is moving) Forgive me, Doctors, but... is his skin moving?", "CAM: Ohh, God, that's strange.", "BRENNAN: Insect activity?", "HODGINS: Never seen insects like that. Except in Alien.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I'm secreting adrenaline.", "CAM: I guess we should see what's inside. (Cam takes a scalpel and cuts the skin where it was moving, green foam comes out of it)", "HODGINS: Ohh, what the hell is that?", "CAM: I have no idea. Everyone, away from the body! (Cam pushes a button that sends the lab in lockdown) We're in lockdown.", "TITLES ACT 1", "(Cut to - later, the remains are in a protective tube - the lab is still in lockdown)", "BRENNAN: Do you have any idea what the foam is?", "CAM: No idea at all. But we could be dealing with a poison, a virus, or a biotoxin. So no one touches or... sniffs it or anything else until we've run tests.", "BRENNAN: This is a first for me. Perhaps if Mr. Nigel-Murray and I could examine the bones... (Cam stops working and looks blankly at Brennan) I'm annoying you.", "CAM: Patience, Dr. Brennan. (The alarm stops) Curiosity killed the cat.", "HODGINS: I'm running the bugs through the Mass Spec. I'm not getting any toxins, but they might not have fed on the remains yet. In other words, I need more samples.", "BRENNAN: We all need more samples.", "CAM: I know. I would just like us all to stay alive during the process.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: In 400 BC, Hypocrites declared that disease was not caused by demons.", "HODGINS: Great, so we can rule out demons.", "ANGELA: Alex Newcomb, 33. The FBI got an ID off his dentals. The dentist has the brother listed as the emergency contact.", "CAM: Perhaps you should help Agent Booth question the victim's brother. I'll call when you can have access to the remains.", "BRENNAN: Okay. (She leaves)", "(Cut to - Jungle Jim car dealer)", "BOOTH: (Booth and Brennan arrive on the scene) I thought the guy was dead.", "BRENNAN: He is dead, but his skin was moving.", "BOOTH: Wait a second. Moving skin on a dead guy?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Then he started foaming.", "BOOTH: Wait a second. Foaming? Okay, what would cause that? (They get out of the car and go in the building) Too much beer? Or maybe he ate soap?", "BRENNAN: You should stop using cartoons as a scientific reference point.", "BOOTH: Okay, you know the guy who owns this place, he has a monkey.", "BRENNAN: Does he feel that a monkey will inspire me to buy a car?", "BOOTH: Bones, it's marketing, okay. Look, hey, \"We don't sell cars...\"", "MAUREEN PEROT: \"We sell adventure!\" So, what can the Mighty Mo put you in today? Mmm, you look like a sporty two-door man.", "BRENNAN: Actually, he has a very nice car.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Ooh, I'll say. That Sequoia's a honey.", "BOOTH: Yeah, tell me about it.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Roomy enough, you could have a Super Bowl party back there. What is that, GPS, side air bags.", "BRENNAN: We're looking for...", "MAUREEN PEROT: Such great gas mileage for, you know, a can-do machine. Are you looking to trade in?", "BRENNAN: No, we're looking for...", "MAUREEN PEROT: Because I can offer you a sweet deal from the heart of the jungle. (She roars Booth)", "BRENNAN: We're here to see Chet Newcomb.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Okay. Between us, as much as we all love Chet, as Bwana of the Month, I'm really in a better position to offer you a deal.So...", "BOOTH: Right. And that'd be just great, Mighty Mo, if we were here to buy a car, but we're not. You know, FBI.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Well, he's back there. (Boots roars her)", "BOOTH: Thank you. What? She roared me first.", "BRENNAN: Doesn't mean you have to roar her back. (Booth and Brennan go in Chet Newcomb's office)", "JUNGLE JIM: The doctor said you have to take all of these on a full stomach.", "CHET NEWCOMB: Desmo... Desmopress...", "BRENNAN: Desmopressin? Do you have kidney problems?", "CHET NEWCOMB: No, it's just a, uh, slight infection. Hi. Chet Newcomb. What can I do for you today?", "BOOTH: Uh, with the FBI. I'd like to ask you a few questions, you know... in private.", "CHET NEWCOMB: Oh. Uh, well, this is my wife, Vanessa.", "BOOTH: How do you do, ma'am? Pleasure to meet you.", "BOOTH: We just, uh, have to have a few words.", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Oh, well, I was just going. I have a fitting anyway- a client waiting on a bridesmaid's dress.", "BRENNAN: Actually, you might want to stay. Booth has some bad news about your husband's brother. He may need consoling.", "BOOTH: Bones...", "BRENNAN: Wasn't that sensitive?", "CHET NEWCOMB: What happened to my brother?", "BOOTH: He was found at the base of a cliff at Whitney Cove.", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Oh, my God. I told him he that was crazy to try that bungee thing.", "CHET NEWCOMB: There was an accident?", "BRENNAN: No. He was... What's a sensitive way of saying murdered?", "CHET NEWCOMB: Murdered?!", "BOOTH: Sorry. When you're ready, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother.", "CHET NEWCOMB: He was murdered?", "BOOTH: Yeah, we're very sorry for your loss. Where was the last place your brother worked?", "CHET NEWCOMB: Um, until a couple of weeks ago he worked... he worked here. Uh, then he left and he went to work for Criterion across the street.", "BRENNAN: Can you think of anyone who wanted to do him harm?", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: He was a car salesman.", "CHET NEWCOMB: Jungle Jim and Alex got into it pretty bad when Alex quit.", "BOOTH: Jungle Jim?", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian lab - autopsy room)", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Perimortem fractures on the victim's parietal.", "CAM: Cause of death?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: No, though, you know, might stun him for a moment. Is there any chance we can remove the remains from the iso-tank?", "CAM: I can't get a definitive reading yet. I have organic matter, from the victim and numerous creatures that took a piece from him. I'm running another test for viruses that could've been transmitted from the animals.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Dr. Saroyan, uh, the bones- there's more foam.", "CAM: Where?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Ooh, uh, it's spreading.", "CAM: Originating from where?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: The Chinese throw away 900 billion chopsticks every year.", "CAM: Any relevance whatsoever?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: No, no, none. It's, uh... I'm just...I'm a tad disoriented.", "CAM: So when you spout facts, it's your way of maintaing focus.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Facts are the stitches that hold the fabric of existence together.", "CAM: In that case, is it individual chopsticks or pairs?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Individual. The foam is coming from inside the bones themselves. Through the periosteum.", "(Cut to - Jungle Jim car Dealer, head office)", "JUNGLE JIM: Wow. Alex Newcomb. That's terrible.", "BOOTH: Is that thing tame?", "JUNGLE JIM: Bananas? Oh, he ain't flung poo since I bought him this hat. Alex. He was one ornery son of a bitch, but what a salesman.", "BRENNAN: Why did he quit working here?", "JUNGLE JIM: Oh, he didn't quit. I fired him. He was Bwana of the Month every month for over two years. The last two, he dropped to bwana number three. I told him if he didn't pick it up, we'd have to reduce his commissions. I mean, why pay top bwana money for a number three bwana?", "BOOTH: And how did he react?", "JUNGLE JIM: This is tough to talk about. It's just tough. He shoved Bananas off my shoulders. Just... shoved him. I've been waiting for an apology. I would've taken him back if he'd just apologized to Bananas.", "BRENNAN: Apologize to a monkey?", "JUNGLE JIM: He's got a heart just like you and me. I think it shows a basic lack of humanity to push a monkey. No wonder somebody killed him.", "(Cut to - Criterion Cars)", "HAL SHAZIRI: Alex shoved Jungle Jim's monkey?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: There's your motive. That man has an unnatural attachment to his monkey.", "HAL SHAZIRI: Everyone knows you don't touch the monkey.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Everyone.", "BRENNAN: We need some actual evidence.", "BOOTH: Listen, what can you tell us about Alex?", "HAL SHAZIRI: Alex was a very good salesman. You see, in the one month, he broke every sales record we had.", "BOOTH: Buddy, is it? Looks like he took your spot.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Hey, family business, man. It's all good.", "HAL SHAZIRI: My God, this is such tragedy. How did his, uh, brother take the news?", "BOOTH: Oh, you, uh, you know Chet?", "HAL SHAZIRI: Sure, Alex wanted me to hire him. But now I feel bad that I could not.", "BRENNAN: Why couldn't you?", "HAL SHAZIRI: The poor man is sick. I need a strong man to sell my cars.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: 'Cause you want to buy a car from a guy who's, you know, vital. Makes a... a man feel like, you know, he's on the winning team, makes a woman feel all protected and safe.", "BRENNAN: That makes no sense.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: No, I believe he's correct.", "HAL SHAZIRI: Mm-hmm, as do I, yeah.", "BOOTH: Did Alex have any enemies?", "HAL SHAZIRI: Lemon guy.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Lemon guy.", "BRENNAN: Is that another car dealer?", "HAL SHAZIRI: No. Angry customer took a golf club- Tah!- like that to Alex's windshield. Seven iron.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: No, it was a nine iron. Oh, yeah. He said Alex, uh, sold him a lemon car. Bashed in Alex's ride.", "BRENNAN: Did Alex sell him a lemon?", "HAL SHAZIRI: No way. We are a class act.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Yeah, that's simply not how we roll, man.", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab - autopsy room)", "CAM: Every serologic and biologic diagnostic I've run comes up the same- no drugs, viruses, poisons.", "HODGINS: Mine show no evidence of arsenic, ethylene glycol or cyanide. No signs of any toxins.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Then we could let him out?", "CAM: Okay. But we proceed with extreme caution.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: In the Dark Ages, it was believed that holding wine in the mouth while breathing through the nose would prevent the plague.", "HODGINS: That's the best idea I've heard today. Does it work with tequila? (Hodgins pokes the bone and more foam comes out)", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh-oh.", "CAM: What?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: This bone is, um, it's gone quite soft. Gelatinous. I believe it's disintegrating.", "HODGINS: We're losing our evidence?", "CAM: How much time do we have?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh...", "CAM: Tell me a little known fact.", "HODGINS: What? Uh... okay. Did you know that the international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672?", "CAM: Did you know that, Mr. Nigel-Murray?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I did not. I estimate that we are losing approximately 12% bone mass every hour. Which means...", "CAM: We could lose our evidence long before we solve our murder.", "ACT 2", "(Cut to - Interrogation room, Brennan and Sweets are in the looking room))", "BOOTH: (Booth swings a gold club) Nice grip on this iron. So, is this the type of club that you used to bash in Alex Newcomb's windshield?", "LEMON GUY: Hey, this guy took my money. And when there was a problem, it was like I didn't even exist.", "BOOTH: He's lucky the only thing you went after was his windshield.", "BRENNAN: That isn't what Booth really thinks?", "SWEETS: Uh, no, no. Booth sees that the man is humiliated and he displays empathy.", "BRENNAN: So, lying.", "SWEETS: Manipulating. Much like the car salesmen. I used to teach psychological techniques to car salesmen to make money for grad school. Not one of my finest moments.", "LEMON GUY: A lemon is a car that craps out on you three months to a year after you buy it. I didn't get more than ten miles off that lot when the brakes failed. That's not a lemon; that's a death trap.", "BOOTH: Yeah, you feared for your life.", "LEMON GUY: No, not my life- my kid... who was in the backseat, four years old, he cracked a rib, he... ...hit his head, he got stitches.", "BOOTH: Wow, I mean, you expect a car like that to be safe.", "LEMON GUY: That's damn right.", "BOOTH: Yeah, right? I got a kid. If someone endangered his life, I'd kill the guy.", "LEMON GUY: Wait... Somebody killed this guy?", "BOOTH: Killed him. Dead.", "LEMON GUY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, look... I busted up his windshield, all right. I- I l-lost my temper. But there is no way I'm gonna let my kid live without a father.", "BRENNAN: I want to do that.", "SWEETS: Do what?", "BRENNAN: Connect to people, like Booth does. You could teach me.", "SWEETS: Oh, I don't know.", "BRENNAN: In the spirit of scientific inquiry, I'd like to see if what you say about psychology is true.", "SWEETS: Did you just dare me, Dr. Brennan?", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, forensic platform)", "HODGINS: Hey, got something. I found some particulates on our victim's clothing. Simmondsia chinensis, mica Red 7 Lake, And Fragaria anassa. Also known as Lust Dust.", "CAM: Lust Dust?", "HODGINS: On his pants. His, uh, lap. Strawberry body glitter. Such as might be utilized by a lap dancer? (Vincent and Cam suddenly get it)", "CAM: Well, that's something I can tell Booth.", "HODGINS: That makes me King of the Lab.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: A large percentage of the monarchy are actually mentally handicapped due to inbreeding.", "HODGINS: Can't ruin it for me. King of the Lab!", "(Cut to - Showgirls strip club)", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones, look, this is the only strip club in proximity to Alex's home and work, all right. You know what; you didn't have to come inside with me.", "BRENNAN: No, I look forward to observing your behavior.", "BOOTH: My what?", "BRENNAN: Sweets says you're manipulative. Like a salesman. I want to study your technique.", "BOOTH: My technique? Wait, I'm gonna smack that guy.", "BRENNAN: You put people at ease, get them to do your bidding. It's a very useful skill. One I wish my father had passed on to me.", "BOOTH: All right, look, your father is a con man, I am not a con man. Let us just remember that. Okay, just watch. Don't say anything. Excuse me, ladies, uh, if I may, um, which one of you likes to use this stuff?", "BRENNAN: It's strawberry Lust Dust.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Well, that would be me. Strawberry Lust.", "BOOTH: Right. Strawberry Lust. The one and only. I'm sure you thought long and hard about that stage name, right?", "BRENNAN: We'd like to speak with you in private.", "BOOTH: No, not in private. I could just ask you a few questions here. All right, Bones, you know what? It's a little weird that you're here watching. Why don't you just go outside...", "STRAWBERRY LUST: It's not weird, baby. Lots of people like to watch.", "BRENNAN: Oh, thank you. I get tremendous satisfaction out of observing a whole variety of activities.", "BOOTH: I'd just like to ask you a couple questions.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Your boyfriend's shy, isn't he? Sweet. That'll be 60 bucks.", "BRENNAN: Okay, I got that.", "BOOTH: Bones?", "BRENNAN: Here you go.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Thanks. Hey, relax. She's going to be enjoying this, too.", "BOOTH: Right, just... Whoa, all right.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Not so interested in talking now, are you, baby?", "BRENNAN: You have excellent control of your hips.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: So I've been told.", "BOOTH: Wh... Um, Miss Lust, um, Miss Lust, actually, I'm with the, uh, FBI. I need to ask you, um... few question about maybe a client?", "STRAWBERRY LUST: FBI? I'm a criminal science major at Georgetown.", "BOOTH: Yeah, and yet, here you are, right? Working off student loans?", "STRAWBERRY LUST: You know it. School's a fortune.", "BRENNAN: Well, I think you will pay off your loans very quickly.", "BOOTH: Bones?", "BRENNAN: She's quite arousing, which I imagine translates into excellent tips.", "BOOTH: All right, uh, Miss Lust, um, Alex Newcomb, um, Criterion Cars, uh, salesman. Uh, maybe a client of yours?", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Yeah, sure, regular. What about him?", "BOOTH: Well, we have evidence that you, um, gave him a lap dance on the night that he died.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Died? Whoa. Murdered?", "BOOTH: Can you just answer the, uh...", "STRAWBERRY LUST: Right, cooperate fully. I aced my freshman criminology class. Um, I gave him a couple of dances Thursday night. He was pretty drunk. Started a fight and Billy had to kick him out. Wait... wait a minute. Am I a suspect? Because all I do is gyrate and that never killed anyone.", "BOOTH: Uh, did he get into a fight with one of the bouncers?", "STRAWBERRY LUST: No, with another car salesman. You know, the Indian guy? Buddy.", "BOOTH: From Criterion.", "BRENNAN: He lied to you. You should go talk to Buddy.", "BOOTH: Yes, I-I should.", "BRENNAN: Then tell Miss Lust to get up.", "STRAWBERRY LUST: I think that might be a little embarrassing right now, huh, baby?", "BRENNAN: That's my gun. (To Brennan) Give us a minute?", "BOOTH: (She sits back on her chair) Okay.", "BOOTH: Outside.", "BRENNAN: What's outside?", "BOOTH: Can you go outside, please?", "BRENNAN: Wh... Did we get our 60 dollar's worth yet?", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian, Brennan's office. She and Sweets are sitting)", "SWEETS: We'll start with a simple exercise um, to recognize emotions from facial expressions. Then I'll give you skills to deal with those emotions.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "SWEETS: Okay, just give me a moment. (He turns around and makes a face) Okay.", "BRENNAN: You're ill.", "SWEETS: Ill? No, Dr. Brennan, no. Ill is not even an emotion. My brow is furrowed, mouth slightly open, eyes quizzical. I'm expressing confusion, and its corresponding vulnerability.", "BRENNAN: What are you confused about?", "SWEETS: That's not important at this point. Now it's just important to recognize that when someone is vulnerable, you have the opportunity to help them feel secure. Thereby gaining their trust and forming a relationship. Having this skill can, ahh, it can enrich all aspects of your life.", "BRENNAN: And not just supply the world with dishonest car salesmen.", "SWEETS: No.", "SWEETS: Let's try another one. (He turns around again to make another face) Okay. (angrily) Okay!", "BRENNAN: Wha... What is wrong? I... You are very intolerant, Sweets. I am doing the best that I can. Okay.", "SWEETS: That's right, that's right, I was expressing anger. Excellent recognition. Very poor response to it, though.", "BRENNAN: Should I have become physical?", "SWEETS: No. Well, not if you're trying to establish an emotional connection.", "BRENNAN: Do you think that Booth was trained like this?", "SWEETS: Some people just have a natural ability. But, hey, hey, Dr. Brennan, you're a brilliant woman. And you'll get there, okay?", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian, autopsy room)", "HODGINS: Okay. The skull is melting.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: We can use this C- Ring magnifier to enlarge a greater area. (VNM turns on the magnifier and an explosion occurs on the body. All the lockdown alarms go on)", "HODGINS: Whoa!", "(Cam and Sweets join Hodgins and VNM)", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Well... Uh, the fire appears not to have damaged the remains.", "BRENNAN: How did it start? (Hodgins and VNM both point to the body)", "CAM: Oh, I see, so we're going with the old \"blame the corpse\" defense.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I just... I turned on the C-Ring magnifier, and then there was a little pop, and then...", "HODGINS: Whoosh. Pop, whoosh.", "BRENNAN: But if the light was the ignition source, that suggests the body was emitting some kind of gas.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh, diatomic gases emit a distinctive ultraviolet hue when they oxidize.", "CAM: These remains were emitting hydrogen gas.", "HODGINS: Not anymore- it all burned up.", "BRENNAN: Whatever mysterious process is destroying these bones emits hydrogen gas as a by-product.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to - Criterion cars)", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Agent Booth... is it the FBI's intention to confiscate our automobile?", "BOOTH: Oh, no, but, you know, I might be in the market to buy one, Mr. Shirazi.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Base price starts at $114,000, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Family money. (Buddy hands Booth his card)", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Well, please, call me Buddy.", "(Cut to - in the Audi car on a test drive)", "BOOTH: Okay.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: 4.2 liter V8, carbon ceramic brakes with monobloc Brembo calipers.", "BOOTH: Zero to 60?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: 4.6 seconds, but, uh... please, not during the test drive.", "BOOTH: Right. You married, Buddy?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Yes, indeed, bro. Four blissful years, but, uh, I know you must be a bachelor, because this car is for prowling.", "BOOTH: That's right. I am a bachelor. I do like to prowl. I usually head over to that, uh... that strip club, uh, Imperial Showgirls over on, uh, Washtenaw. You know, where they have all that lap dancing.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: (Uncomfortably) I- I don't know that place.", "BOOTH: No? (He slams on the gas)", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, God, please...", "BOOTH: Imperial Showgirls?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: Uh, did my wife send you? Okay, please, I implore you to slow down. Uh, the railway tracks.", "BOOTH: What?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: The railway tracks are there, and you must please slow down to five miles an hour before we... okay What do you need to know?", "BOOTH: You got into a fight with Alex Newcomb at Imperial Showgirls the night he was murdered. I want to know why.", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: He stole a client from me. I punched him in the nose. Please, man, the tracks.", "BOOTH: How do I know you're not lying?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: I'm not lying. I'm not lying, I swear. I'm not lying. I'm not a liar. The tracks! The tracks! The tracks! The tracks! The tracks! (Booth stop the car just short of the tracks and turns around) Thank you, Agent Booth. Thank you. Okay! We were both thrown out of the club. I foolishly drove home drunk, and I apologize. I won't do it again.", "BOOTH: Okay, what did Newcomb do?", "BUDDY SHAZIRI: I don't know. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait. He, uh... he took a cab. He told the driver to... to-to-to take him back to Jungle Jim's. He said to me, \"Screw you and everyone who works at Criterion. I'm going to get my old job back.\"", "BOOTH: Right. You know what; this baby definitely pulls to the right. You have alignment problems. You know what, I'm going to call my partner and get a ride back. (Booth gets out of the car)", "(Cut to - Booth and Brennan on the phone, each in their office)", "BRENNAN: Did you check with the taxi company?", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah. Alex Newcomb took a taxi to Jungle Jim's that night, uh, and the cabbie said that he was intoxicated.", "BRENNAN: Well, do you think that Newcomb was going to apologize to the monkey and get his job back?", "BOOTH: Well, yeah, he definitely wanted to get the monkey off his back.", "BRENNAN: But the monkey was on Jungle Jim's back.", "BOOTH: Well, Alex felt guilty for leaving his brother all alone at Jungle Jim's.", "BRENNAN: Oh, so Alex Newcomb's brother, Chet Newcomb, was the monkey on the back.", "BOOTH: Oh, you know what, I am getting off that merry-go-round right now, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Booth? Booth? (She arrives on the platform) Update?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I found perimortem Colles' fractures on both the right and left distal radii. Possibly from the breaking of a fall.", "BRENNAN: Where?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Already dissolved.", "BRENNAN: Any definite cause of death?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, uh, areas on the left lateral thorax near the rib fractures show... (Vincent moves the camera to where it should be to see that it's gone) It's gone.", "CAM: More evidence is gone?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: The rate of dissolution is accelerating.", "CAM: Are you hearing this, Dr. Hodgins?", "BRENNAN: We're losing the bones. We have to figure a way to arrest the destruction of...", "HODGINS: Ion chromatography takes time.", "CAM: Yeah, let's give him a little space.", "BRENNAN: Okay, so we know that the bones are dissolving faster than the rest of the body. Why should that happen?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: What do bones have that the rest of the body doesn't?", "BRENNAN: Calcium.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Oddly enough, calcium is the fifth most abundant element in both the crust of the Earth and the ocean.", "BRENNAN: We're looking for a corrosive that produces hydrogen gas when it breaks down calcium.", "HODGINS: Fluoride ions would tear through cells and soft tissue until they met up with calcium.", "BRENNAN: All acids contain hydrogen.", "HODGINS: Hydrofluoric acid.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Used in various, uh, pesticides, rust removers, petrochemical development, to clean and brighten certain metals.", "HODGINS: Antacid.", "CAM: You think he's troubled by indigestion?", "HODGINS: Antacid contains magnesium hydroxide. If we cover the hydrofluoric acid in enough magnesium, it will stop attacking the bones.", "CAM: Makes sense... I hope.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: The first recorded antacid was an amalgam of ambergris and musk, though since ambergris could only be obtained from whales, it wasn't readily available to all. (The foam turns into a solid crust)", "BRENNAN: Wh... it's working.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "CAM: What's happening?", "HODGINS: The good news is that the bones stopped dissolving. The, uh, bad news is...", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Our foamy friend seems to be petrifying right before our very eyes.", "CAM: Oh, God. (The lockdown alarm goes off again)", "BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray, perhaps you and Dr. Hodgins can figure out a way to free the victim's remains so that we can discover cause of death.", "HODGINS: Well, how do we do that? Drop it on the floor like a piggy bank?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I suggest we cut off one of the limbs- one of the less crucial limbs, of course- and run some tests.", "CAM: Are you serious?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: No. (Cam leaves. Hodgins and Vincent lean in on the body) Would it interest you to know...", "HODGINS: No, at-at this moment, it-it would not.", "(Cut to - Interrogation room viewing room)", "BRENNAN: Please, Booth, I'm ready.", "BOOTH: One lesson with Sweets doesn't turn you into the master interrogator.", "BRENNAN: What, is master interrogator a real thing?", "SWEETS: Technically, no.", "BOOTH: You got to know exactly what you want to find out when you go in there.", "BRENNAN: Really, if you can do it, I can.", "BOOTH: Seriously. You think you can do anything I can do?", "BRENNAN: Not the big, strong, sheerly physical things, but otherwise... yes.", "BOOTH: Fine, be my guest. Be the big cheese. Fill the shoes.", "SWEETS: Here, take an earpiece in case you, you know need help.", "BRENNAN: Okay, but don't distract me unnecessarily. (Brennan goes in the interrogation room)", "BOOTH: It's all your fault. You know that, right?", "SWEETS: Why? You're the one that said yes.", "BRENNAN: I'm Dr. Brennan.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Yeah, I know. We met, like, five times.", "BRENNAN: Together, you and I are going to help each other out here.", "MAUREEN PEROT: If by \"help,\" you mean put me in the electric chair.", "BRENNAN: Was that a confession? Because it sounded like a confession.", "MAUREEN PEROT: No, no, no, I was... I was being, um... Are you serious?", "SWEETS: I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: Did you enjoy s*x with Alex Newcomb?", "MAUREEN PEROT: No, I did not. It was over too quick, and he didn't put enough weight on his elbows.", "BRENNAN: So... you admit to a sexual relationship? No, no. No, once again, I was... I was joking, so... No. We just worked together.", "BRENNAN: Where were you last Thursday night?", "MAUREEN PEROT: Bowling.", "BRENNAN: Did you kill Alex Newcomb?", "MAUREEN PEROT: No. Did you?", "BRENNAN: No.", "SWEETS: Oh.", "BOOTH: Will you just... ask her if Alex Newcomb ever stole any of her customers.", "BRENNAN: Did Alex ever skate any of your sales?", "MAUREEN PEROT: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he did. I'd have referrals come in on my days off, and he would tell them I'd been fired.", "BRENNAN: That's terrible.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Look, the only person that he really cared about was his brother.", "BRENNAN: How do you know?", "MAUREEN PEROT: Why do you think Alex went from number one to number three? He punted sales to his brother. Made me number one.", "BRENNAN: So, you had no reason to kill him.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Nope.", "BRENNAN: Thank you for your cooperation.", "SWEETS: That's it? Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were right she wasn't ready.", "BOOTH: No, she wasn't ready, Sweets, but we found out something really, really important.", "SWEETS: What, the woman bowls?", "BOOTH: No, we found out that the victim was secretly carrying his brother.", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian, foresic platform)", "CAM: Any good news?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I think I may have discovered cause of death.", "CAM: Even though the victim is still wearing his hard candy coating?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I went back over the X-rays and the MRI scans. This defect on the posterior aspect of the sternum. There.", "CAM: That's very small.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: This shadow suggests that the margins bevel inward, which suggests that it was left by the tip of whatever weapon, was used to kill the victim.", "CAM: How can we confirm that?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: By cracking this baby open and taking a good look.", "HODGINS: So... IC results confirm anions of chloride, sulfate, phosphate, nitrate and fluoride. So his body was exposed to highly concentrated hydrofluoric acid.", "CAM: Ah, we got something right. Now, how do we get him out?", "HODGINS: No idea.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Perhaps... one good sharp shock with a mallet would free the remains inside.", "HODGINS: I also found some fecal matter on the bottom of the shoes.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: 90% of the world's population have fecal matter on the bottom of their shoes.", "HODGINS: Not from a Cebinae Cebus.", "CAM: A what?", "HODGINS: Capuchin.", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Jungle Jim's monkey Banas is of the capuchin variety, named thus for their uncanny resemblance to the, uh, Capuchin monks, uh, the- an offshoot of the Franciscan order.", "HODGINS: They had... Motile flagellates in the poop date the freshness to five days ago.", "CAM: The same day Alex Newcomb was killed.", "HODGINS: Has anyone suggested a pinata scenario? I'll leave you to it.", "(Cur to - Jungle Jim car dealer)", "JUNGLE JIM: You people better have a warrant.", "BRENNAN: We have reason to believe that Alex Newcomb was here the night he died.", "JUNGLE JIM: Well, I didn't see him. Monkey crap? You're here looking for monkey crap?", "BRENNAN: Feces, yes. It won't be hard to find. Maybe Banas should wear a diaper all the time.", "BOOTH: Diaper.", "JUNGLE JIM: All right, if Alex was here, I didn't see him.", "MAUREEN PEROT: Okay, what is going on now?", "JUNGLE JIM: Oh, they think that Banas killed Alex.", "BOOTH: We never said that.", "MAUREEN PEROT: O- Okay, wait a minute. You think Alex was killed here?", "JUNGLE JIM: N- No, n- nobody here killed Alex. Would you just go back to the floor? Go. Go.", "FBI TECH: Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, we found blood.", "(Cut to - Back room)", "FBI TECH: So there's an additional wide stain around the blood where the concrete is clearly pitted.", "BOOTH: What is it?", "FBI TECH: It's congruent with a strong acid.", "BRENNAN: What is this, please?", "JUNGLE JIM: That's Gleam-o.", "BOOTH: What's that?", "JUNGLE JIM: It's a tire cleaner- it's-it's real concentrated.", "BOOTH: Is it corrosive?", "BRENNAN: 60% hydrofluoric acid. That would explain what happened to Alex Newcomb's bones.", "BOOTH: So we got blood, we got a method of disposing the body. Looks like you're going to have to shut the jungle down, pal.", "JUNGLE JIM: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because everyone who works here is now a suspect. Including you, Jungle Jim.", "(Cut to - Founding Fathers, Brennan, Booth and Cam are sitting at a table)", "WAITRESS: Here you go.", "CAM: So... the blood from Jungle Jim's is a match for Alex Newcomb. He was killed in the service area.", "BRENNAN: He was killed and then soaked in corrosive tire cleaner.", "CAM: So... the killer thinks the body is going to dissolve instantly, like it does in the movies, then nothing happens except every alarm in the lab goes off time and again.", "BOOTH: You okay?", "CAM: Yes. This is just really good wine.", "BOOTH: Right, okay, so the killer still has the body, so he tosses it off the cliff.", "CAM: What was Alex Newcomb doing back at Jungle Jim's that night?", "BOOTH: Ah... Bones here already figured that one out.", "BRENNAN: I did? How? Alex was there for his brother, trying to save Chet's job. You got that one right.", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian, forensic platform)", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I've got dipsticks, pry bars, ceremonial weapons, but the defect in the sternum is too small to make a definitive match.", "CAM: The stab perforated the spine. What about injury to the vertebrae?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: According to my calculations, reversing the trajectory of the nick in the sternum, Alex was stabbed between the seventh and the eighth vertebrae.", "CAM: But we won't get anything from those vertebrae. They were already jelly when the X-rays were taken. I hate this case. Did you know that the earliest production of wine took place in 6,000 BC in what is now Iran?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: From grapes. Rice was used in China in 7,000 BC.", "CAM: Is there anything you don't know?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Yes, the murder weapon. Dr. Brennan is very adamant that without a murder weapon it's much more difficult to prosecute a homicide.", "CAM: We have to find a way to unseal this body. (She takes a swing with a crow bar)", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: W- Whoa, whoa! Dr. Saroyan, okay, I'd just like to point out that this could very much resemble what happens when one strikes an egg with a sledgehammer.", "CAM: Can you see another choice?", "VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Could we at least don some rain gear first?", "ANGELA: Maybe I could help. Why is it that nobody ever says to me, \"Gee, Angela, this looks impossible, but maybe you're the person who could solve the problem\"?", "(Cut to - Jeffersonian, Angela's office)", "BRENNAN: Cam says you might be able to do a virtual examination of the body.", "ANGELA: I've been working on a new program that uses Configuration-bias Monte Carlo method. Here are the bones currently left in the body. Now, there's not much left, but by factoring in rate of decomposition and bone destruction from the hydrofluoric acid, I can attempt to virtually regrow the bone.", "BRENNAN: I have been to 74 interrogations with Booth- 42 in the room and 32 observing.", "ANGELA: Uh-huh.", "BRENNAN: I should be able to do it.", "ANGELA: What, interrogate?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I-I even engaged in a very interesting session with Sweets to improve my ability to manipulate people.", "ANGELA: That wouldn't work.", "BRENNAN: Why not?", "ANGELA: Because what Booth has, you can't learn from baby boy shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is most of the time.", "BRENNAN: Brilliant at stupidity?", "ANGELA: Especially around you. Okay, here is what Alex Newcomb's skeleton looked like 12 hours ago.", "BRENNAN: Why would Booth do that?", "ANGELA: Well, he knows that you like to be the smart one, so he lets you have that. All right, here's what Alex's bones looked like at the time of his death.", "BRENNAN: Huh. Jagged crenellations between the seventh and eighth vertebrae indicate the path of the murder weapon.", "ANGELA: Combing trajectory analysis with force and thrust ratio. This suggests a square-edged blade with an overlying step that was at least 16 centimeters long.", "BRENNAN: You know I am smarter than Booth.", "ANGELA: Okay, so maybe you should just let him have the people skills part of the job to himself then.", "BRENNAN: Can you zoom in there? Okay, look at this. A curved notch, maybe from a small pin?", "ANGELA: Yeah, or a screw.", "BRENNAN: Screw. Two blades held together by a screw. Scissors. You are amazing, Angela.", "ANGELA: Eh, I just program the computer. You're the whiz master who makes the calls. You're welcome. Hey, sweetie? I think you'll find that the murder weapon was a pair of tailor shears.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "ANGELA: Why don't you run this information by Booth and see how quickly he comes to the same conclusion?", "(Cut to - Jungle Jim car dealer)", "CHET NEWCOMB: Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, how you doing?", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Have you made any progress on the case?", "BOOTH: Yeah, here you go. (He hands Vanessa Newcomb a warrant)", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: What's this?", "BOOTH: That's a warrant to seize all your scissors and sewing shears.", "CHET NEWCOMB: Why?", "JUNGLE JIM: Hey, Newcomb, how long does it take to swallow a couple of pills? We got customers on the floor. Get your hat on.", "CHET NEWCOMB: What's going on?", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Uh, get back inside, Chet.", "CHET NEWCOMB: What's happening?", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Just go back inside. Don't lose your job.", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that. See, our lab discovered that the murder weapon was a pair of tailor shears.", "BRENNAN: And Booth immediately remembered that you're a seamstress.", "BOOTH: We're pretty sure we're going to find Alex Newcomb's blood on those.", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Alex caught me with someone.", "BRENNAN: Sexually, you mean?", "BOOTH: Who? Jungle Jim?", "BRENNAN: Whoa, how did you get there?", "BOOTH: That's how your sick husband kept his job. First his brother tried to help, then you.", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: It was just one time. I told Jungle Jim I'd have s*x with him just once if he wouldn't fire Chet, and... my luck. Alex walked in looking to get his job back and... Alex wouldn't listen to me. He said he was going to tell Chet and I... I couldn't let that happen, so...", "BRENNAN: So you killed him?", "VANESSA NEWCOMB: Look, I love my husband.", "BOOTH: Yeah, so did his brother.", "(Cut to - Founding Fathers, Booth and Brennan are at the bar)", "BOOTH: Just give me a ten.", "BRENNAN: But you had most of the potatoes.", "BOOTH: Okay, then you have that, okay? All right. Bones, you ready?", "BRENNAN: You haven't said anything about my interrogation.", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You did great, okay, better than I thought.", "BRENNAN: I was terrible. Everybody's right. I lack empathy.", "BOOTH: You got empathy. You're awkward. That's different.", "BRENNAN: My stuff is bones, yours is people.", "BOOTH: Right. So you're admitting that I'm better at something than you are?", "BRENNAN: No... Yes. A lot better.", "BOOTH: Thanks, Bones. Hey. Can we go now?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Yes, wait till you see what's outside. (They go outside to see the Audi parked out front)", "BOOTH: So... what do you think? Right, huh? Buddy let me borrow it.", "BRENNAN: Can I drive it?", "BOOTH: Oh, no, no, wait a second. This is a very powerful machine.", "BRENNAN: Well, I can handle it.", "BOOTH: Okay, look, once around the block. Uh, maybe. Okay. Hey, driving a machine like this is like making love. You have to go gently.", "BRENNAN: I go more for passionate and uninhibited rather than gentle.", "BOOTH: Bones, gently. Go ahead. Gentle, Bones, gentle. Bones, easy on the gas. Easy. Whoa, stop! Brakes...", "BRENNAN: The car broke.", "BOOTH: Okay, let me drive.", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: Okay, fine, you know what? Just do it without me, okay?", "BRENNAN: Wait, no. It's no fun by myself.", "BOOTH: See you.", "BRENNAN: No, but at least help me get into first gear.", "BOOTH: First gear? You're a scientist. You can figure it out, right?", "BRENNAN: I'm a scientist, not a mechanic.", "BOOTH: A mechanic? What did I say? Drive it gently, but no, you don't listen to me. I'm done, forget it.", "BRENNAN: No, come on, Booth, come back. I am an excellent driver.", "BOOTH: See you.", "BRENNAN: Buddy's going to be very upset you're leaving it here without...", "BOOTH: Buddy will completely understand because of the way that you drove that car. I told you to go gently- everybody back out, back out.", "BRENNAN: Come on Booth! Booth!" ]

[ "Booth and Brennan investigate a petrified human body found buried in a mound of salt in a city de-icing truck. They discover that the victim was a pregnant 16-year-old high school volleyball player, and are shocked to find that nearly half of her teammates are either pregnant or already have had babies from the same father. Meanwhile, Roxie breaks up with Angela, who, seeking solace, has a one-night stand with Hodgins." ]

[ "\"The Salt in the Wounds\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(City Maintenance Storage Unit, two workers walking towards a truck.)", "TESS: Operation says we've got a black ice alert on the bridges.", "DARLENE: Weather guys are like psychics, man, they don't know squat!", "TESS: I went to a psychic once, talked to my mother. Mom even bothered me dead.", "DARLENE: All of the bridges?", "TESS: All of 'em! Okay, fill me up.", "(They reach the truck, DARLENE pushes a button and salt starts pouring into the truck.)", "(DARLENE sees something fall into the truck, and stops the salt.)", "TESS: What's up?", "DARLENE: Something in the salt.", "(She glances into the truck.)", "DARLENE: Aah!", "TESS: What is it?", "DARLENE: You know that Bible story about the woman who turns into salt?", "TESS: Lot's wife?", "DARLENE: I think maybe we found her!", "(Camera pans to a body/skeleton lying in the salt.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to later, police have arrived at the scene, Brennan is in the truck, and Booth climbs up.)", "BOOTH: So, the weather's been warm for the past six weeks, wow, so they haven't had to use rock salt.", "BRENNAN: The dermis is extremely desiccated, the salt quick-dried the tissues.", "(She is examining the body of a young woman, covered in salt crystals.)", "BOOTH: Looks like a really big Apple doll.", "BRENNAN: Teenage girl. Very tall, six feet.", "BOOTH: Looks like she's been dead for about a hundred years.", "BRENNAN: No, in fact less than a month. Salt is hygroscopic. It draws moisture from its surroundings and replaces it with crystals.", "BOOTH: You know what? I suddenly got a potato chip craving.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian, Angela Montenegro is talking to her girlfriend, Roxie Lyon.)", "ANGELA: Cats are so disdainful.", "ROXIE: They're independent and self-assured. Like you.", "ANGELA: Dog?", "(She holds up a photograph of a dog.)", "ANGELA: Cat?", "(She holds up a photograph of a cat.)", "ANGELA: What'cha gonna pick?", "ROXIE: Uh, this is a lion eating a gazelle. What's with the sudden pet desire? We're not even living together.", "ANGELA: Yet. Look at him, Rox. Look at his warm, brown eyes.", "(She holds up the photograph, and they both smile and laugh.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to shot of intern Arastoo Vaziri praying on the floor of the Jeffersonian lab near the platform.)", "BRENNAN: He's going to do this five times a day.", "CAM: Mr. Vaziri is Iranian, he's an observant Muslim.", "HODGINS: Bright side? We'll always know which way is East.", "BRENNAN: I don't know if this is going to work out, Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: This country was founded on the notion of religious tolerance.", "(The camera pans to a shot of the dead body lying on a table and they move around it.)", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm not discriminating because he is a Muslim. I find all religions equally irrational.", "(Arastoo comes running up to the platform.)", "ARASTOO: Thank you for your patience!", "BRENNAN: I had no choice; apparently it's a constitutional issue.", "(They both look towards a screen with x-rays.)", "ARASTOO: Eeh. Trauma to the temporal and sphenoid region, with buckling on the outer edges, probably from being dropped from the bin. Bonk.", "CAM: I see some red fibers.", "HODGINS: Oh, that's me.", "BRENNAN: Mr. Vaziri, do you see the ante-mortem skeletal trauma?", "ARASTOO: Significant remodeling of the metacarpophalangeal joint on the right thumb, a snap, an old fracture to the little finger, crack, and a bone chip at the dorsal radial portion of the left wrist.", "HODGINS: Pop?", "ARASTOO: I've seen this before in cases of abuse. A girl who was handcuffed to a radiator in order to preserve her virginity.", "(Angela enters the platform.)", "ANGELA: Well, it turns out, there aren't that many 16-year-old girls who are six feet tall on the missing persons list.", "(She hands over a printout with a girl's photograph and some information.)", "BRENNAN: Ashley Clark. Missing three weeks.", "ANGELA: So... Roxie and I are getting a dog.", "HODGINS: Wow. I had Roxie pegged as a cat person.", "(Arastoo turns around upon hearing talk about Roxie.)", "ANGELA: Hey! I'm Angela.", "ARASTOO: Oh. Arastoo Vaziri. Uhm, y-your boyfriend's name is Rocky? Like, pow? Like the famous boxer?", "ANGELA: No, uh, Roxie.", "BRENNAN: Angela's boyfriend is a girl. Perhaps your religion won't allow you to accept that.", "CAM: Blood chemistry shows unusually high levels of relaxin.", "ANGELA: Relaxin? Sounds like something you could get arrested for taking.", "BRENNAN: It's a naturally occurring hormone, secreted during pregnancy.", "CAM: So, if she was handcuffed to protect her virginity... Didn't work out so well.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Intro music)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT II", "(Booth and Brennan are sitting with Ashley Clark's parents, Ellen and Bob Clark, at their house.)", "BOB CLARK: We last saw Ashley the afternoon before her high school dance.", "ELLEN CLARK: It was the end of winter dance. I remember because we made a bunch of jam that day and Ashley was worried that she'd smell like raspberries.", "BOOTH: Ashley never made it to the dance?", "(Ellen shakes her head.)", "BOB: We had to wait 24 hours before she was officially missing.", "BOOTH: Were there any major developments in your daughter's life in the weeks leading up to her death?", "ELLEN: He means drugs. Was Ashley doing drugs.", "BRENNAN: No, we don't mean drugs.", "BOOTH: No, no drugs. Were you aware that your daughter was pregnant?", "BRENNAN: Approximately twelve weeks.", "ELLEN: Pregnant? Ashley couldn't have been pregnant.", "BRENNAN: She was. Do you have any idea who might be the father?", "BOB: Is that who you think killed her? The father of her child?", "BOOTH: Well, we'd like to talk to him.", "ELLEN: My daughter and I were very close, and it simply isn't possible that she wouldn't tell me she was pregnant.", "BRENNAN: I would appreciate some insight into the high number of injuries your daughter sustained since puberty.", "ELLEN: So now you're saying that we abused our daughter?", "BOB: It's alright, they have to ask... My daughter was an athlete. She grew almost two feet over the last four years. You can confirm the injuries with her chiropractor.", "BOOTH: We are very sorry for your loss, sir.", "(He hands them his card.)", "ELLEN: Then you shouldn't say such terrible things.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the chiropractor's office, where Booth and Brennan talk to Dr. Sean Fitts.)", "DR. FITTS: Ashley wasn't a victim of abuse. She was the victim of athleticism and a competitive disposition. See this remodeling of the right thumb, the little finger, the dorsal radial portion of her wrist?", "(He points to a screen with x-rays.)", "BRENNAN: Volleyball, of course.", "DR. FITTS: That's right, that's very good.", "BRENNAN: Patella tendonitis.", "BOOTH: Jumper's knee!", "BRENNAN: How did you know that?", "BOOTH: Athlete, Bones. Thanks, Dr. Fitts, we appreciate your help.", "DR. FITTS: Yeah.", "(He hands Brennan an envelope with the x-rays.)", "BRENNAN: Thanks.", "BOOTH: Were you aware that Ashley Clark was pregnant?", "DR. FITTS: No! No, her last appointment was about six weeks ago. She didn't mention it.", "BRENNAN: Despite the fact that you aren't a real medical doctor, you have been quite helpful. Thanks.", "(She starts walking towards the door, but turns when Dr. Fitts speaks to her.)", "DR. FITTS: Oh, you're welcome. Oh, and by the way... You aren't a real medical doctor either.", "BOOTH: Ouch.", "(Booth and Brennan leave.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to a lab at the Jeffersonian, Cam and Arastoo are examining Ashley Clark's body, removing the top of her skull.)", "ARASTOO: No hematoma, meaning the skull was fractured post-mortem. Probably when the body tumbled out of the overhead bin. Clunk.", "CAM: Very descriptively put.", "ARASTOO: It has been pointed out to me that I tend towards onomatopoeia.", "(Brennan comes into the room.)", "BRENNAN: Dr. Saroyan! Why hasn't the body been defleshed?", "CAM: I'm still conducting the autopsy.", "BRENNAN: Well, if I can't remove the flesh, then I can't find cause of death.", "CAM: If you remove the flesh, I can't find cause of death.", "BRENNAN: What flesh? The body is completely desiccated. Any remaining indicators are going to come from the bones.", "CAM: Not if I can rehydrate the tissue.", "ARASTOO: Paleontologists have used Ruffer's solution successfully on mummies...but shush.", "CAM: The salt arrested bacterial development, there's no decomp. If I can rehydrate, I can do a proper autopsy.", "BRENNAN: No, it will take too long and a positive result is debatable.", "CAM: Lucky for me, I'm the boss.", "BRENNAN: I claim one of my freebies.", "CAM: I claim one of my freebie-declines.", "(Brennan angrily leaves the room and Cam sighs.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Booth's FBI office. Bob Clark knocks on the door.)", "BOOTH: Come on in. What can I do for you, Mr. Clark?", "(Bob Clark sits down in front of Booth's desk as Booth moves behind it.)", "BOB: I, uh, wanted to tell you that I suspected my daughter was pregnant.", "BOOTH: Alright, have a seat. And you, uh, didn't wanna say anything in front of your wife?", "BOB: No. I found a pregnancy test in the wastebasket in the bathroom.", "BOOTH: Your wife is still young enough to have children.", "BOB: Sexual intercourse has not been a part of our marriage in several years.", "BOOTH: Did you talk to Ashley about the pregnancy test?", "BOB: Yes, but she denied that it was hers. She said it was a friend's. She asked me not to tell my wife. She called it a father/daughter secret.", "BOOTH: Was there a boy in Ashley's life?", "BOB: Ashley argued about a boy with her friend Becca. I overheard it on the phone. Didn't get a name.", "BOOTH: I see. Well, I'll look into it.", "(Mr. Clark gets up to leave.)", "BOB: Uh, I hope my wife doesn't have to find out that I kept this huge secret from her. I don't think she'd forgive me.", "BOOTH: Forgive you?", "BOB: Considering how it turned out...", "(Mr. Clark leaves.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Angela and Roxie in the lab.)", "ANGELA: His name is Donatello, and he's a rescue, and he needs a good home. One caveat, though - he's afraid of the wind.", "(Roxie looks sad.)", "ANGELA: Wow, you really don't want this dog, do you? Is it because Donatello is a stupid name?", "(Roxie looks over to her, with tears in her eyes.)", "ANGELA: ...yeah. You're breaking up with me.", "(Roxie looks over at her, looking like she's confirming it, but doesn't know what to say.)", "ANGELA: You don't have to say anything, Rox, it's okay.", "ROXIE: I do wanna say something. Ange, you live in the moment, I know that, but moments are fleeting. They pass.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but we decide when the moments pass.", "ROXIE: This one has passed.", "ANGELA: Yeah...", "ROXIE: I've gotta think about the future.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(Roxie gets up, kisses Angela on the cheek and leaves.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Booth at the FBI building, by the vending machine.)", "BOOTH: You gotta be kidding me.", "(He's struggling with the vending machine, punching and shaking it. Becca Hedgepeth appears behind him, looking very pregnant.)", "BECCA HEDGEPETH: Excuse me, agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BECCA: I'm Becca Hedgepeth. They told me I could find you here.", "BOOTH: Wow. Ashley Clark's friend.", "BECCA: Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT III", "(Booth and Becca are sitting in a hallway in the FBI building.)", "BOOTH: So you heard that Ashley was murdered on the news, right?", "BECCA: Yeah.", "BOOTH: It's my job to find out who did it.", "BECCA: 'Kay. Well, I hope you do.", "BOOTH: According to her father, he said the two of you got into a fight and you stopped coming to the house.", "BECCA: That's just because Ashley went behind my back with my boyfriend.", "BOOTH: What's your boyfriend's name?", "BECCA: Well, ex-boyfriend. Rory Davis. Wait. Do you think that I was jealous enough to kill my best friend? Or, are you saying Rory did it?", "BOOTH: Well, you're pregnant. Emotions run high during that situation.", "BECCA: Me and Ashley would've gotten past it. Because she broke up with Rory too.", "BOOTH: Looks like I'm gonna have to talk to \"Love 'em and leave 'em\"-Rory.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the lab, Cam, Hodgins and Arastoo are about to submerge the body in a tank.)", "CAM: Okay, very careful, the tissue is fragile.", "HODGINS: Alright, ready? On my count. One. Two... We're gonna completely submerge her in a bath of sodium carbonate, aqueous formalin and ethyl alcohol. Good. And somewhere between 24 and 48 hours from now, she should look practically human again. Ready? And, go.", "(The fluid starts being sprayed onto the body.)", "HODGINS: I got the trace back on those red fibers you found in her hair. They're tri-lobal, two red strands, one blue strand woven together. Given the length and texture, they definitely came form an automobile.", "ARASTOO. But the killer must have transported Ashley's body from wherever she was killed into the salt pile.", "CAM: Can you narrow down what kind of car?", "HODGINS: Yeah, I'm running the fibers through FACID, that should be able to give Booth make and model and year.", "(An alarm on Arastoo's watch beeps.)", "ARASTOO: Oh, time-out for Allah.", "(Arastoo leaves the room, while Angela is entering it.)", "ANGELA: Hey, Arastoo.", "ARASTOO: Hello, Angela.", "(Arastoo leaves, and Angela heads towards Cam and Hodgins.)", "ANGELA: Hey. Uh, listen, do you need me any more here today? 'Cause I could really use a...", "HODGINS: Angela. What's the matter?", "ANGELA: Roxie and I broke up, and I just...", "HODGINS: Uh, you know, I'm gonna take Angela for a cup of coffee, okay?", "CAM: Sure, yeah, go. This is a simple murder. Solves itself.", "(Angela and Hodgins leave the room, while Cam looks down at the body.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Booth and Brennan entering a high school weight room.)", "BOOTH: Okay. Rory Davis?", "(Rory Davis is bench pressing, with Clinton Gilmour as his spotter.)", "RORY DAVIS: Yeah?", "CLINTON GILMOUR: Whoa, a little warning, dude, I'm only the Hulk when I get pissed.", "BOOTH: Listen, we'd like to talk to you about Ashley Clark.", "RORY: It wasn't me.", "BRENNAN: It wasn't you who - what?", "RORY: Becca texted me, saying that you think I killed Ashley, but I didn't.", "(Booth looks towards Clinton.)", "BOOTH: Excuse me, you wanna give me a moment here, I'd like to talk to him alone?", "CLINTON: Dude, you're a murder suspect! That's awesome.", "(Booth clears his throat and Clinton leaves.)", "BRENNAN: Becca said that you and Ashley connected sexually.", "BOOTH: Yeah, her exact words were \"got all over\"?", "RORY. This is completely not fair.", "BRENNAN: That you had s*x with two girls and they got pregnant?", "RORY: We didn't have s*x!", "BRENNAN: Pregnancy is unlikely without intercourse.", "BOOTH: Right. Thanks for the tip, Bones, yeah.", "RORY: No, we didn't have intercourse. I'm a Christian, I'm not gonna have intercourse until I'm married.", "BOOTH: Okay, so you got two girls pregnant, but you didn't have s*x with either one of them?", "RORY: Well, uh, I think some of, uh, my...you know, stuff, may have found its way in there. I mean, the way Ashley came after me, it's like she was really, really...trying...", "BRENNAN: To get your sperm?", "RORY: Yeah, well, if it wasn't for my faith in Jesus, there would have been sexual intercourse.", "BOOTH: How did your relationship with Ashley end?", "RORY: Bad. Ashley was mad at me. Becca was mad at me. I did everything right, and it turned out all wrong.", "BOOTH: Mm. Did Ashley have any arguments with anyone else?", "BRENNAN: Or try to get their sperm?", "RORY: She had some sort of fight with Mr. Hawthorne. I heard it from the weight room.", "BOOTH: Who's Mr. Hawthorne?", "RORY: He's the volleyball coach.", "BOOTH: Where would he be?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the basement of the Jeffersonian, we find Hodgins and Angela in Cleopatra's bed, between loads of Egyptian artifacts.)", "ANGELA: Wow. That was great.", "HODGINS: Like I told you, I'll always be there for you when you need comforting.", "ANGELA: Heh, I didn't need comfort. But I needed a good tumble.", "HODGINS: Potat-oh, potah-to.", "(He kisses her shoulder.)", "ANGELA: I'm fine about Roxie. People come and go in life.", "HODGINS: What did she say? Aside from \"So long\"?", "ANGELA: Basically, she said she wants somebody who doesn't just live in the moment, but who considers the future. What's wrong with the moment?", "HODGINS: Nothing.", "ANGELA: But?", "HODGINS: But it's nice every once in a while to think about the future.", "(Angela starts to get out of the bed.)", "ANGELA: So let me get this straight. To be together, then it has to be all about the future?", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: So, this, right now, this isn't together?", "HODGINS: It was a moment. A great moment, but like all great moments, it passed.", "(Angela gets up and leaves, but Hodgins notices she has forgotten her earring.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to Booth, Brennan and coach Adam Hawthorne walking down a set of stairs at the high school.)", "BOOTH: We heard that you got into a loud argument with Ashley.", "BRENNAN: With shouting.", "COACH HAWTHORNE: That's true. Two fights, in fact. The first one was when she failed to seduce me, and the second, a couple of moths later, when she threatened to name me as the father of her child if I didn't give her five grand.", "BRENNAN: Uh, she tried to seduce you?", "COACH HAWTHORNE: Alright, seduce isn't the right word. Look, that girl came at me like....", "BOOTH: So, Ashley Clark tried to blackmail you?", "COACH HAWTHORNE: In case you're thinking that drove me to murder, you can check with the principal. I reported it. What with the way things are, I figured that that was the smartest move.", "BRENNAN: The way things are?", "COACH HAWTHORNE: Half my volleyball team got pregnant.", "BOOTH: We're gonna need a team roster.", "COACH HAWTHORNE: Well, if you wanna talk to them, go to the multi-purpose room. They're having another baby shower.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the multi-purpose room, where a group of girls, several pregnant, are having a baby shower.)", "BOOTH. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. This school ever hear of s*x education?", "BRENNAN: Well, if so, there's gaps in the curriculum.", "BOOTH: That's for sure.", "(Pan to Becca, who is standing next to and talking to a girl, Alyssa Howland, who is holding an infant.)", "BECCA: These are the people I was telling you about.", "ALYSSA HOWLAND: Okay.", "(Booth and Brennan approach Becca.)", "BOOTH: That's Becca.", "ALYSSA: Hello! Hi, I'm Alyssa Howland. You guys have already spoken to Becca and Rory, so I imagine you're here about Ashley Clark.", "BOOTH: Wow. This texting thing is way out of control.", "BRENNAN: Were you by any chance the captain of the volleyball team?", "BECCA: Alyssa was the captain of all our teams.", "ALYSSA: Yeah, and I'm also valedictorian and student body president. Or I was until people decided that I was a bad example.", "BRENNAN: Well, as alpha female, you are a bad example.", "ALYSSA: Hey!", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, but in this day and age of available contraception and easily accessed information, for a teen girl to become pregnant is clearly a lapse in judgment.", "BOOTH: Okay, girls, you do realize this is a murder investigation?", "ALYSSA: Oh, yeah, we understand that.", "BECCA: Yeah, we're quite intelligent.", "BOOTH: Right. So, Rory Davis was not the father of your child.", "BECCA: I never said he was.", "BRENNAN: And he wasn't the father of Ashley's baby either, was he?", "ALYSSA: No. No, as a matter of fact, the same guy is the father of my baby and Becca's.", "BECCA: And Ashley's.", "BRENNAN: What about the rest of them?", "BECCA: Jenny?", "ALYSSA: Yeah, uhm, her. And the others got pregnant by their boyfriends and whatnot.", "BRENNAN: So one boy is the father of four babies?", "ALYSSA: Mhm.", "BOOTH: Okay, and who would this stud be?", "ALYSSA: It's Clinton.", "BRENNAN: Oh. President Bill Clinton?", "(The girls laugh.)", "BECCA: Ew, no.", "ALYSSA: Clinton Gilmour.", "(She points him out and they wave.)", "ALYSSA: The cute one in the yellow shirt.", "BOOTH: The one in the yellow?!", "(Clinton leaves the multi-purpose room, and Booth and Brennan stand there, confused.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT IV", "(Cut to the weight room, Booth enters and finds Clinton putting small weight plates onto a bar.)", "BOOTH: Clinton?", "CLINTON: What?", "BOOTH: Alyssa Howland says that you had s*x with the entire volleyball team.", "CLINTON: The girls' volleyball team, and not all of them. I don't like to boast. A gentleman does not kiss and tell.", "(He lies down on the bench and starts lifting the bar.)", "BOOTH: How old are you?", "CLINTON: Sixteen. My personality is completely formed.", "BOOTH: How'd you get those four girls pregnant?", "(Clinton gets up from the bench.)", "CLINTON: You want pictures? Check the Internet, that's what I did.", "(Booth starts adding heavier weights to the bar, eventually lying down to lift them.)", "BOOTH: Right. You know, I show no disrespect. I went to high school, and high school has not changed. The fact is, from what I remember, guys like you can't get that many girls. You know what I'm saying?", "CLINTON: Wait, you can't lift that.", "(Booth does a series of lifts.)", "CLINTON: Wow.", "BOOTH: Alright, see, the point is, I can do that, but I didn't get girls like that in high school. So, what you're saying happened really didn't happen, huh?", "CLINTON: Like a conspiracy. The conspiracy is that they like me. I'll tell you something else. More than one of them told me that I'm actually very considerate and sweet in the bed department.", "BOOTH: Ashley is dead. She was murdered. The prime suspect would be the person who knocked her up. I need to know the person who did that deed.", "CLINTON: It was me. The s*x deed-part! The killing part was definitely somebody else.", "BOOTH: You know what I think? I think those girls are up to something, and they're using you as a cover. It's okay. We'll just do a DNA test, and the truth will come out. Alright?", "(Booth heads towards the door, while Clinton shouts to him.)", "CLINTON: Take my DNA, and you'll find out the truth! I am the MacDaddy Supremo Baby Daddy of G.O.W. High School!", "(Booth leaves the weight room.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian, Arastoo is staring at the body in the tank.", "CAM: The Ruffer's solution is working.", "ARASTOO: I find myself wondering if the rate of tissue reclamation will accelerate over time, decelerate or hold steady.", "CAM: You're worried about what to tell Dr. Brennan.", "(Arastoo turns towards Cam.)", "ARASTOO: If Dr. Brennan asks, when do you think we will have access to the bones?", "CAM: Tell Dr. Brennan that unless she can think of a way to examine the bones while leaving the flesh intact, you're both out of luck.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the Founding Fathers Bar, a reporter on TV is talking while Angela and Brennan eat and watch.)", "REPORTER: During the investigation into the death of high school sophomore Ashley Clark, it was discovered the presumed murder victim was part of a group of girls who made a pact to get pregnant and raise their children together.", "(The camera pans from the TV to Angela and Brennan, and the noise from the TV fades out.)", "BRENNAN: No, there was no proof that there was a pact.", "ANGELA: See, this is what happens when all you worry about is the future. Pregnant teenagers.", "BRENNAN: I would argue that most pregnant teenagers get that way by becoming involved in the moment.", "ANGELA: Yeah. True.", "BRENNAN: Are you alright?", "ANGELA: Oh, yeah. Totally. It was so worth it.", "BRENNAN: Will you be able to remain BBFs?", "ANGELA: B-F-Fs. Best friends forever.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Will you resume a sexual relationship with Hodgins?", "ANGELA: I already did.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Well, good.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but he can't keep it casual. He's the marrying kind.", "BRENNAN: I am comfortable giving you advice in this area.", "ANGELA: Shoot.", "BRENNAN: I think you live your life very well.", "ANGELA: Thank you.", "BRENNAN: You are not afraid to change your mind when conditions change.", "ANGELA: Conditions always change.", "BRENNAN: The successful organism is the organism that adapts. This is one area where we are very similar.", "ANGELA: I was with you until there.", "BRENNAN: Like me, you are not swept away by your emotions. You remain rational. You use your brain to pick someone for s*x and companionship.", "ANGELA: Uh, a minor correction there: I use my heart.", "BRENNAN: That is not -", "ANGELA: Metaphoric heart, sweetie. Stay with me here, right? Love, like art, comes from the moments where two people become one.", "BRENNAN: Minor correction: Love comes from a confluence of chemicals and hormones in the pineal gland.", "ANGELA: Right. But all beauty is transient and of the moment.", "BRENNAN: Like a sunset is beautiful.", "ANGELA: You know, it sounds like we are in agreement, which is worrying me just a little bit.", "(Brennan's cellphone vibrates, and she looks down at it.)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins says he found pectin in the scratches he swabbed on the victim's arm.", "ANGELA: How did he find scratches? The victim looked like beef jerky.", "BRENNAN: Well, apparently Cam had some limited success in rehydrating the body.", "ANGELA: That's impressive.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Pectin is used in making preserves, right?", "ANGELA: Sure, I remember that from growing up a farm girl in Amish country.", "(Brennan gives her an odd look.)", "ANGELA: Sarcasm, Brennan. I'm sorry.", "(Brennan gets up to leave.)", "BRENNAN: The victim and her mother were making jam the afternoon before she disappeared.", "ANGELA: Have you ever noticed that a sunset looks more beautiful when you share it with somebody that you care about?", "BRENNAN: No. I haven't. But I'll pay better attention next time.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(Brennan leaves the bar, leaving Angela there.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to an interrogation room at the FBI building. Booth is interrogating Ellen Clark.)", "BOOTH: So, we have evidence that you scratched your daughter shortly before she died.", "ELLEN: I grabbed her arm is all.", "BOOTH: Hard enough to leave marks?", "(Booth shows her photographs of her daughter's arm.)", "BOOTH: Was it because you found out she was pregnant?", "ELLEN: No. I still find that hard to believe, Ashley and I talked about everything.", "(Brennan and Sweets are standing in an adjacent room, watching the interrogation through a two-way mirror.)", "BRENNAN: Why can't this woman face the facts?", "SWEETS: Perhaps because the facts are so painful.", "BRENNAN: Do you suspect the father of incest?", "SWEETS: It would explain the mother's behavior.", "ELLEN: I didn't know about the pregnancy, I was angry because...", "(She hands Booth a piece of paper.)", "BOOTH: You wrote your daughter a check for $5,000?", "ELLEN: No, she forged my signature. I caught her before she could cash it.", "BOOTH: Why did Ashley need $5,000?", "ELLEN: I don't know. She wouldn't say, she just...was always hanging around Becca and the rest of that team, and suddenly I didn't exist. And now the news is saying that she had some kind of pact.", "(Sweets speaks into a microphone.)", "SWEETS: Booth, I have a theory.", "BOOTH: Can you excuse me for a moment there, Mrs. Clark?", "(Booth leaves the interrogation room and heads into the adjacent room.)", "BOOTH: What do you got?", "SWEETS: Okay, it's possible that Ashley Clark was killed by the pact for not coming up with the $5,000.", "BOOTH: So you think this whole pact-thing is true?", "BRENNAN: There have been many instances in history where women group together to raise their children, and the men become nothing more to them than sperm donors. The \"walking marriages\" of the Mosuo in the Himalayas, for example.", "BOOTH: Right. Okay, so you think that the Himalayan Momos just killed each other when things got dicey?", "BRENNAN: Killing is a more male response. Women tend more toward shunning.", "SWEETS: I might be able to figure out the nature of the girls' relationship.", "BOOTH: How?", "SWEETS: Let me at the alpha girl. Psychologically, I mean.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the lab, where Arastoo is working in the bone room/limbo, and Cam enters.)", "CAM: Mr. Vaziri, do you have any idea where all the monitors on the forensic platform have gone?", "(She sees that Arastoo has arranged all the monitors to show an oversized x-ray version of the body.)", "ARASTOO: I appropriated them. I sent you an e-mail.", "CAM: I didn't have a monitor to check my e-mail. You have created a virtual skeleton.", "ARASTOO: It was your idea, Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: No, I don't recall -", "ARASTOO: In speaking of Dr. Brennan, you said to me \"Tell her that unless she can think of a way to examine the bones while leaving the flesh intact, you're both out of luck.\"", "CAM: Well, I'll make sure you get the credit for this with Dr. Brennan.", "ARASTOO: No, no, no, no, no.", "CAM: You don't want credit?", "ARASTOO: No, I would rather not be the person to point out to Dr. Brennan that she was incorrect about retaining the soft tissue at the expense of exposing the skeleton.", "CAM: Meaning you found something?", "ARASTOO: I would never have seen this on the actual bone, but when I blew up the digital x-ray...", "(He shows Cam a blown up version of an x-ray.)", "ARASTOO: Here, in the middle ear, there is a hairline fracture on the stapes.", "CAM: What does that suggest to you?", "ARASTOO: Violence, Dr. Saroyan.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT V", "(Cut to Angela sitting in her office, sipping tea, while Arastoo pokes his head in the door.)", "ARASTOO: Ms. Montenegro?", "ANGELA: Yeah. Hi, Arastoo, how are you?", "ARASTOO: I would like to pass onto you my condolences that your heart has been broken.", "CAM: Oh. Here we go. Are you gonna quote the Quran?", "ARASTOO: No, no. I - I put together a CD with some songs that I have found to be cathartic. \"Hope There's Someone\" by Mr. Antony and the Johnsons, \"Breathe Me\" by Sia, \"Heartbeats\" by Mr. José Gonzalez, \"Fade Into You\" by Mazzy Star - this is not a person, but a band, \"Lullaby of Loneliness\" by Aaron English and of course, the finest of the melancholy songs, \"Dust in the Wind\". Very melancholy that. I wish you peace, Ms. Montenegro, and I wish that you find love again.", "ANGELA: Thank you, Arastoo. Thanks very much.", "(She gives Arastoo a hug and he leaves.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the forensic platform, Cam is photographing the body when Arastoo arrives.)", "ARASTOO: Dr. Saroyan?", "CAM: Tell Dr. Brennan she cannot have the remains yet. Hovering will not make this go any faster.", "ARASTOO: Dr. Brennan required me to hover.", "CAM: How's about you go bank a prayer, and give me a little breathing space? I apologize, I quip sometimes.", "ARASTOO: Believe me, it is nothing compared to the 1st Batallion, 9th Marine Regiment, Regimental Combat Team One.", "(He does a military salute and Cam gives him an awkward look.)", "CAM: Glycerin, please?", "(Arastoo gets the glycerin for her.)", "ARASTOO: What are you going to do?", "CAM: Ruffer's only gets us so far, so I'm going to inject some glycerin around the soft tissue of the ear.", "ARASTOO: Oh, to see if there's any tissue damage which might explain the fractured stapes.", "(Cam injects the glycerin next to the victim's ear.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to an interrogation room at the FBI building, where Sweets is interrogating Alyssa Howland.)", "ALYSSA: A pact? There's no pact. The papers totally made that up.", "SWEETS: Okay, but you are very close?", "ALYSSA: Yeah, we played on the same team together since we were freshmen. We've traveled a lot too. I mean, we've been through a lot together.", "SWEETS: Boys...?", "ALYSSA: Boys come and go, you know, but your friends, that's who you can really count on, right?", "SWEETS: Count on?", "ALYSSA: Yeah, they don't pressure you like boys. Like parents.", "SWEETS: Uh, pressure?", "ALYSSA: Pressure to succeed, yeah.", "SWEETS: Well, you're a very high achiever, Ms. Howland. Student body president, valedictorian, full scholarship to Amherst, all of which went away when you got pregnant.", "ALYSSA: Yeah, it's okay. I mean, I'm totally cool with being a mother.", "SWEETS: Is it a coincidence that once you got pregnant, seven of the others on the volleyball team did the same?", "ALYSSA: It's not my fault that people wanna be like me. I'm a natural leader.", "SWEETS: They look to you as an example.", "ALYSSA: It was my idea that we all get a house together. Help each other raise our kids.", "SWEETS: Where would the money come from?", "ALYSSA: Oh, uhm, I mean, we'd all put in. I'd figured out how much we'd need.", "SWEETS: $5,000 each.", "ALYSSA: That's right. Wait, how did you know?", "SWEETS: You said it wasn't a pact. Then how do you explain that four of you got pregnant from the same boy? He seems an unlikely choice.", "ALYSSA: Clinton wasn't a choice. I didn't plan the baby. I'd...just found out I'd won the scholarship, and my parents started to plan my whole life. I just went to the park, I couldn't...breathe, I couldn't think.", "SWEETS: Too much pressure?", "ALYSSA: Yeah. And Clinton was there and I was crying and I just - I felt like I was being banished. You know? I mean, nobody asked me what I wanted. And Clinton understood. And he held my hand and he let me cry and, you know, one thing led to another. And he's been great.", "SWEETS: Great how?", "ALYSSA: Well, he's a kid, you know. He doesn't really wanna raise kids.", "SWEETS: Right. Maybe that's why the other girls chose him to get them pregnant?", "ALYSSA: Yeah, yeah! And it's gonna be great. We all are gonna have these cute kids, and we'll all be there for each other.", "SWEETS: Except Ashley?", "ALYSSA: Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the forensic platform, Cam and Arastoo are working.)", "ARASTOO: What exactly are we doing?", "CAM: I couldn't see any contusions around the ear, but perimortem bruising is often only visible under certain light wavelengths.", "ARASTOO: You're using colorimetrics?", "CAM: That's right.", "ARASTOO: I read an article in a forensic journal. A Japanese scientist published his study.", "CAM: We read the same article. Could you turn on the UV light?", "(Arastoo turns on the light, and they examine the area around the ear.)", "CAM: Look at that.", "(Brennan arrives on the platform.)", "BRENNAN: Are you switching teams, Mr. Vaziri?", "ARASTOO: No, no. My preference is forensic anthropology, but Dr. Saroyan's use of colorimetrics was thrilling.", "CAM: Look at the monitor. Assuming sufficient force, that perimortem bruising explains your stapes fracture.", "BRENNAN: The bruise is directly on top of the vagus nerve.", "CAM: And...?", "ARASTOO: Cowabunga!", "CAM: What?", "BRENNAN: When the vagus nerve is triggered with enough force, the victim will go into cardiac arrest and die. You have discovered the cause of death.", "(Cam looks please, Arastoo looks pleased, but worried, Brennan looks slightly annoyed.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT VI", "(Cut to the autopsy room, where Brennan and Cam are examining the body.)", "CAM: The tissue damage is distributed evenly.", "BRENNAN: What does that indicate?", "CAM: That it was a single blow.", "BRENNAN: Whatever did this is completely flat and round.", "CAM: Some kind of hammer?", "(Hodgins enters the room.)", "HODGINS: Anyone interested in our mysterious red fiber?", "BRENNAN: Oh! You identified the vehicle?", "HODGINS: Late-model German sedan, Mercedes or BMW.", "CAM: Let Booth know.", "(Hodgins starts to leave again.)", "HODGINS: And just so you know, Arastoo is praying again. Either that, or he's doing a very repetitive yoga move.", "(Hodgins leaves.)", "BRENNAN: Is that appropriate in the lab?", "CAM: Some of us take coffee breaks, some of us take smoke breaks, Mr. Vaziri takes a spiritual break.", "BRENNAN: Who smokes?", "CAM: Nobody. Not very often, anyway, just very rarely in times of great stress.", "BRENNAN: If you had release the remains to me when I'd asked, and Mr. Vaziri had removed the flesh, then we'd never have found cause of death.", "CAM: Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Why are you thanking me? I'm simply stating a fact.", "CAM: I am thanking you for stating the fact that you were wrong.", "BRENNAN: Oh. You're welcome.", "(They both nod.)", "BRENNAN: The odds of hitting the vagus nerve by accident are very slight.", "CAM: So, do you think this was done by someone who knew what they were doing?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Someone who is very familiar with human anatomy. Like a physiologist or a doctor... Or a chiropractor.", "CAM: Let's check out the victim's chiropractor's ride.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the FBI building, Booth is entering his office, where Cam and Brennan are waiting.)", "BOOTH: So, Dr. Fitts drives a 2007 BMW sedan.", "CAM: So you got a warrant?", "BOOTH: There are 1,208 BMW sedans in D.C.", "CAM: So you didn't get a warrant?", "BRENNAN: But how many of those drivers know how to kill using the vagus nerve? And how many of those drivers had access to the victim?", "CAM: And own chiropractic tools we might be able to match with the murder weapon?", "BOOTH: Guys. No warrant.", "BRENNAN: If Booth and I hadn't questioned Dr. Fitts, we could mount one of our clever undercover operations.", "(They all exchange glances.)", "CAM: Hey, not me. But I do have a great idea.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the waiting room at Dr. Fitts' office, Sweets is posing as a patient with Angela as his significant other. Sweets is pretending to have back issues.)", "SWEETS: How long have we been married?", "ANGELA: Just concentrate on your symptoms. That's all he's gonna ask about. I'll look for this thing here. Brennan says it's the murder weapon.", "(She shows Sweets a drawing of a chiropractic instrument.)", "ANGELA: So you heard about me and Roxie?", "SWEETS: Yeah. I'm sorry.", "ANGELA: Oh, no, really, it's absolutely fine.", "SWEETS: Okay.", "ANGELA: I also had a little afternoon delight with Hodgins, but let's just say it's not really his thing.", "SWEETS: Again, I'm sorry.", "ANGELA: No, it's totally fine.", "SWEETS: Then why are you telling me?", "ANGELA: Brennan approves of the way that I conduct my love life.", "SWEETS: Ooh.", "ANGELA: Yeah. What's wrong with living in the moment?", "SWEETS: Nothing, nothing. As long as it's working for you.", "ANGELA: Oh, it is. Definitely.", "SWEETS: If it weren't -", "ANGELA: No, it is.", "SWEETS: Well, if it weren't -", "ANGELA: It is.", "SWEETS: If it weren't, I'd suggest to you...", "ANGELA: What?", "SWEETS: You won't like it.", "ANGELA: Oh, no, I'm... I'm happy living in the moment. What you say is merely interesting.", "SWEETS: Well, what I would advice you to do, is remove s*x from the situation.", "ANGELA: I don't like that.", "SWEETS: You're a beautiful woman. You're confident in your sexuality, which is laudable, but you need to connect with people on another level.", "ANGELA: Why?", "SWEETS: Why? Because sexual attraction is only one facet of the human romantic experience.", "ANGELA: So, don't have s*x?", "SWEETS: I - I'd suggest you be celibate for, say, six months.", "ANGELA: Oh, my G... Six months? Why not ten years?", "SWEETS: You asked my opinion, and that's it. Forgo s*x in favor of other connections. Shouldn't we have like a cover story in order to reassure the chiropractor that we're married?", "(Dr. Fitts opens a door to the waiting room.)", "DR. FITTS: Mr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "(Angela kisses his cheek.)", "ANGELA: Okay, honey, we're up. This is us, a happily married couple.", "SWEETS: Uh, help me, please.", "(Angela helps Sweets to get up.)", "ANGELA: Okay.", "SWEETS: Thank you.", "(They are now in the treatment room. Sweets is sitting on a massage table while Dr. Fitts examines him and Angela is walking casually around.)", "DR. FITTS: You've had some discomfort in your lower back?", "SWEETS: Uh, yeah, yeah. As a fireman, I often have to carry heavy -", "(Dr. Fitts does several maneuvers twisting Sweets' back.)", "SWEETS: Oh!", "DR. FITTS: Oh, it's very tight. It's very tight.", "SWEETS: Oh, ow, what are you - oh God! What are you doing?", "DR. FITTS: Okay, frankly, these knots I feel in your lumbar region are more congruent with sitting hunched over a desk than they are pulling people from a burning building.", "ANGELA: Oh, well, he's not a fireman yet, Dr. Fitts, he's just training.", "SWEETS: Yeah, almost. Another week.", "ANGELA: Spends a little too much time on the Internet, if you know what I mean.", "DR. FITTS: Well, I feel knots in your lumbar region. I'm going to give you a minor adjustment. This won't hurt.", "(He picks out an instrument from a drawer, which looks exactly like the drawing of the suspected murder weapon.)", "DR. FITTS: But you will feel some pressure.", "(Angela takes a photo of Dr. Fitts using the instrument on Sweets, and whispers to herself.)", "ANGELA: Not as much as you.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to a montage set to \"Heartbeats\". We start off in the interrogation room, where Booth is interrogating Dr. Fitts, showing him the instrument, and Dr. Fitts looking guilty, followed by Angela looking at photos of herself and various previous lovers - Hodgins, Roxie, Birimbau - and putting them in a box, followed by Cam finishing up with the body, Hodgins sitting by his desk while looking at Angela's earring and then Arastoo praying while Brennan is watching.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the Founding Fathers Bar, where Booth and Brennan are sitting by the bar.)", "BOOTH: Ashley needed $5,000 to leave home and raise her baby, so she tries to blackmail her coach.", "BRENNAN: But it didn't work, because he'd never had s*x with her.", "BOOTH: Right, so she has to go and seduce the chiropractor and threatens him with statutory rape if he doesn't pay up.", "BRENNAN: And he killed her.", "BOOTH: Horrible. Wow.", "BRENNAN: So, are the rest of the girls still renting a house together?", "BOOTH: Right. You know what I don't get? How is it that eight beautiful girls could just give up their whole lives during high school?", "BRENNAN: It's a rational decision.", "BOOTH: On what planet?", "BRENNAN: Earth!", "BOOTH: Earth?", "BRENNAN: Given the current environment, the paradigm within which a group of girls band together to raise their offspring has merit.", "BOOTH: Without their fathers?", "BRENNAN: Anthropologically speaking, those girls have grown up in a culture that reinforces the sad truism that women cannot count on men.", "BOOTH: Don't say \"men\" like that. Men do not like a world without responsibility.", "BRENNAN: Well, that boy whom these young girls chose as their sperm donor, he seemed more than happy with the arrangement.", "(Booth looks at her, thoughtfully, before getting his phone out of his pocket.)", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: You're right.", "BRENNAN: I know. Who are you calling?", "(Booth starts speaking into the phone.)", "BOOTH: Clinton, listen, it's Agent Booth, I need to talk to you.", "BRENNAN: The kid?", "BOOTH: Listen, meet me at the Royal Diner, uh, in 20 minutes. Yeah, just get there, okay? Thanks. I'm buying.", "(He hangs up the phone.)", "BOOTH: Look, I know you want to come along and all, but -", "BRENNAN: No, I get it. Go on, it's a... guy-to-guy-thing.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the Royal Diner, where Booth and Clinton are sitting by a table.)", "CLINTON: Why did the chiropractor kill Ashley?", "BOOTH: Well, Ashley seduced him, you know, and tried to blackmail him.", "CLINTON: So he murdered her? Dude.", "BOOTH: Yeah. You know, Ashley needed money, to raise her baby. Your baby.", "CLINTON: You didn't think those girls would have s*x with me because I can't bench press enough.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) DNA tests, they prove that I was wrong, so... yeah, I owe you an apology.", "CLINTON: I did... I told you.", "BOOTH: Yeah. You know what? You are a smart kid.", "CLINTON: I know.", "BOOTH: But you're also a real smart-ass kid. Okay? There's something I want you to think about, alright? s*x is never free and easy.", "(Booth starts taking something out of his pocket.)", "CLINTON: I beg to differ.", "BOOTH: Because the fact is, any one of these girls, they could change their mind, and you would be paying child support for the rest of your life.", "CLINTON: Wait. What?", "BOOTH: You see these four girls right here?", "(He lays out photos of four girls in volleyball uniforms.)", "BOOTH: You are responsible for bringing their children into the world. Whether they think so or not, they are your responsibility. Your children, your responsibility. Do you understand?", "(Clinton looks petrified.)", "BOOTH: And what you do about that will define what kind of man you are.", "CLINTON: No, no, hold on a second.", "BOOTH: But if you ignore that - ignore your children - that's exactly what you're going to become: A loser. A deadbeat. For the rest of your life. You know what, there's something else that you should think about. Ashley Clark? She was going to have your baby. According to our pathologist, it was gonna be a boy.", "CLINTON: A boy?", "BOOTH: Mhm. A son.", "(Booth rips up the photo of Ashley Clark.)", "BOOTH: Who died... With his mother.", "CLINTON: What did you have to tell me all that for?", "BOOTH: Because you needed to hear it. Do you understand?", "CLINTON: Yes.", "(We see Brennan watching Booth and Clinton through the window.)", "END." ]

[ "The half-eaten body of Cam's former fiancé is found in the tiger enclosure at the wild-life park, and Booth and Brennan determine the death was no accident. The team pieces together the fiancé's final evening and questions suspects, including Brandon Casey whom Sweets and Angela hypnotize to help jog his memory. Angela takes a vow of celibacy and it's revealed that Clark is romantically involved. In the end, Cam offers to adopt the doctor's daughter." ]

[ "\"The Doctor in the Den\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Rock Creek Wild Life Park - A vehicle drives through grass lands past zebras, elephants. It stops near a tiger. Bill and Trysta, employees at the park get out of vehicle)", "TRYSTA: These tigers eat better than I do.", "BILL: He. Yesterday's food is still here.", "TRYSTA: And the day before's. I don't think Matilda's moved in two days. I hope she's not sick.", "BILL: Maybe there is something wrong. Should we call the vet?", "(Matilda, the tiger, gets up and walks over to a bloody, half eaten piece of lower leg with the shoe still attached. She picks it up and reveals the rest of the body, which now is mostly bones with little flesh still in tact.)", "(Bill and Trysta run back to the vehicle.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: A different Park Vehicle - Brennan and Book are in the back of the vehicle.)", "PARK EMPLOYEE 1: Let's Go.", "DRIVER: Thanks.", "BOOTH: I was here last weekend with Parker. They got monkeys swinging free - right over there (Points). Do you think we have time?", "BRENNAN: Booth, we're here to recover a set of remains.", "BOOTH: Come on, Bones. You gotta take time to smell the primates.", "BRENNAN: Why? They are malodorous and they throw their excrement.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Melinda, the tiger, pacing in a cage near the body. Booth and Brennan approach the remains.)", "BOOTH: Who wanders around in an animal park?", "BRENNAN: Someone with extremely poor judgment.", "BOOTH: Ha, guess no one told this guy it's not a petting zoo. (Brennan gives him a look.) Nevermind.", "BRENNAN: Flesh has been gnawed and baked in the sun. But the nasal root suggests a black male. Over six feet tall.", "BOOTH: According to, uh, Parker's big book of animals, they can pounce at 35 miles an hour and leap 30 feet.", "BRENNAN: The tiger fed on the flesh and internal organs before he started cleaning the bones.", "BOOTH: You know, I'm thinking the victim wandered away from his car, he was drunk, and he ended up in this area. Same thing happened to a guy last year in the giraffe section.", "BRENNAN: Giraffes are herbivores. They don't eat people.", "BOOTH: That part is different. The guy broke his arm. Did you know that giraffes can weigh up to two tons?", "BRENNAN: Yes, everyone knows that.", "BOOTH: And they sleep less than two hours a day.", "BRENNAN: That I did not know.", "BOOTH: Yes, Pinky stumps the Brain.", "BRENNAN: Well, I have no way of determining cause of death out here. So we should pack everything up and bring it back to the lab.", "BOOTH: Pack it up!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Lab - Clark, Cam, Hodgins and Brennan are examining the body))", "CLARK: Teeth marks on the manubrium and the sternum.", "CAM: Nice to have you back Dr. Edison. Wasn't sure we'd see you again.", "CLARK: Dr. Brennan assured me that I could count on a strictly professional atmosphere.", "BRENNAN: I admire your focus and dedication to your work, Dr. Edison.", "CLARK: Thoracolumbar fascia has been eaten.", "CAM: No stomach contents for me to analyze because the tiger ate the stomach.", "CLARK: Don't blame the tiger. Animals shouldn't be confined for human amusement.", "HODGINS: A zoo hater?", "CLARK: and a vegan.", "HODGINS: Oh, Someone's revealing their plant-based personal life.", "CLARK: It relates to the case.", "BRENNAN: Zoos have many breeding programs to preserve endangered species.", "CLARK: Animals bred in the zoos have weak natural instincts. They're basically just imprisoned pets.", "HODGINS: Pets generally don't eat you.", "BRENNAN: A common house cat will devour you before you're cold.", "CLARK: The victim's hyoid and spinal cord are still in tact.", "BRENNAN: There are no indications of a traditional tiger throat bite or strangle hold. The tiger was not the cause of death.", "CAM: I agree. Some kind of weapon sliced along what's left of the right pelvis and thigh transecting the femoral artery. He died of a good old-fashioned bleed out.", "HODGINS: There is a shoelace mixed in with the flesh.", "BRENNAN: The tiger could have coughed it up, like a fur ball.", "CAM: Judging from decomp and... the amount the tiger ate, I estimate time of death to be late Friday night, early Saturday.", "ANGELA: (entering) Welcome back, Clark. Whoa, have you been working out?", "CLARK: Excuse me?", "ANGELA: You look so solid and compact.", "CLARK: I believe that all conversation should relate to this man's murder.", "HODGINS: Angela's taking a stab at celibacy.", "ANGELA: Sweets thinks it will help me form more committed relationships.", "HODGINS: But it just seems to rev up her libido.", "CLARK: (avoiding the conversation) Chewing...has embedded particulates into the teeth marks in the medial malleolus.", "ANGELA: Okay, I get it. But you're squeezable. You should thank our tiger for not eating the victim's teeth. Dentals gave us an easy match.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Andrew Welton.", "CAM: (stunned) Are you sure?", "ANGELA: Yeah, it's...it's dentals. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to ID off dentals. It's sad, huh? He's handsome. He's hot, really.", "CAM: Okay, that's enough, Angela.", "BRENNAN: Are you alright, Dr. Saroyan?", "CAM: No. I knew Dr. Welton. We lived together for two years.", "ANGELA: Oh...my god, Cam. I'm really sorry.", "CAM: No...Let's just find out who killed him, okay? (She walks away.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Opening Credits)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 1", "(Open - Lab - upper level sitting area - Booth and Cam)", "BOOTH: So, I called the hospital and Dr. Welton has been missing for two days. I'm sorry, Cam.", "CAM: I haven't even seen Andrew for 10 years. It's silly for me to be reacting like this.", "BOOTH: No, it's not. You know what, it was a big part of your life.", "CAM: What about his daughter? Who's going to tell Michelle? Had he remarried?", "BOOTH: No. No other family.", "CAM: Yeah, I'm not surprised. Michelle's mom died during childbirth. I don't think Andrew could ever go through loving anyone like that again. Michelle became everything to him.", "BOOTH: She must be, what, 16 now?", "CAM: Yeah. What a terrible time to lose her father.", "BOOTH: Look, Bones and I will get the social worker.", "CAM: No, no social worker. If there's no one else, I have to do it. I'll talk to her.", "BOOTH: Cam, it's been 10 years since you've seen her.", "CAM: I was her mom for almost two years, Seeley. She should hear it from someone who loved her father.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's car pulling up outside the Welton house)", "BOOTH: So, you're sure you don't want us to come in with you?", "CAM: No, I'll be fine.", "(Cam exits the car and approaches the house. Michelle opens the door)", "BRENNAN: Did Cam raise her?", "BOOTH: Yup, for two years.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: inside the house)", "CAM: Camille Saroyan?", "MICHELLE: And you know my dad?", "CAM: You were 4 when your father and I were together. I moved away just after you turned 6. But I remember your party. You were sitting on the clown's lap while he made balloon animals. And you kept handing them to me and I had this armful of... MICHELLE (interrupting): I don't remember...and my dad's not here right now.", "CAM: I know. I am working on a case with the FBI, Michelle. Could you please sit down?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Brennan and Booth in the car outside the house)", "BRENNAN: Well, she told me she never wanted to have kids.", "BOOTH: Maybe Michelle is the reason.", "BRENNAN: I don't understand.", "BOOTH: She loved Welton and lived with him for about two years and she raised Michelle like she was her own. And then she's been alone for all that time because she doesn't want to put herself in that position again.", "BRENNAN: But that was 10 years ago.", "BOOTH: For Cam there are emotional considerations here. That's why she has to be involved in the case.", "BRENNAN: With us?", "BOOTH: It's best that you...stay in the lab a little bit more. Just this time around.", "BRENNAN: Because that's where I'm most useful. I understand. You and Cam can rely on your statistically inaccurate guts to solve the case.", "BOOTH: She needs this. Just trust me on this, Bones.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Inside the Welton house)", "MICHELLE: Last time I saw him was Friday night. He was getting ready for some hospital party at the Animal Park. I spent the weekend at my friend's. I'm sure that he's still at the hospital.", "CAM: Michelle, we've found your father. I'm very sorry to have to tell you that he's...he passed away.", "MICHELLE: What? No. No! He was fine. He was fine. I saw him two days ago. You're wrong.", "CAM: I'm so sorry, honey. Is anyone staying with you?", "MICHELLE: Um, our housekeeper, Mrs. Jenks, but she... What happened? He was healthy.", "CAM: We believe he was killed.", "MICHELLE: What!? Oh my god. Oh my god. Look, I don't even know you, okay? Why don't you just do your job and find out who did this to my dad?", "MRS. JENKS: Is everything alright?", "MICHELLE: My dad...She says that my dad has been murdered.", "MRS. JENKS: Oh, good god. How could you tell her alone? Why didn't you call me?", "CAM: I thought she'd remember me. I was a friend of the family.", "MRS. JENKS: I think you should go.", "CAM: I know this is difficult, but I have to ask a few questions.", "MRS. JENKS: Now?", "CAM: In order to pursue an investigation...", "MICHELLE (cutting her off): What? What do you want to know?", "CAM: Did your father have any enemies? Any difficult relationships?", "MICHELLE: No. Everybody loved him. You said that you knew him. You should know that.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's Car - Cam gets into the car)", "BOOTH: How'd it go?", "CAM: You should have brought a social worker. She...didn't remember me at all.", "(They drive off)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: the Lab - Clark, Brennan and Hodgins examine the wound.)", "CLARK: Look at the pelvis.", "BRENNAN: Surface lacerations to the periosteum of the pelvic bone.", "HODGINS: Those aren't bone chips. Whatever caused the laceration embedded something in the bone. Look at the injuries near the femoral artery. It looks like there are particles of mica in here.", "CLARK: The scarring of the ilium indicates that something gouged the victim. I'll start testing possible weapons.", "CAM: (entering) Do you have anything?", "BRENNAN: Well, a thorough investigation takes time.", "CAM: Let's not take too much time.", "CLARK: We're being so thorough that we...", "CAM: (interupting) There's a killer out there, Dr. Edison, so be thorough and fast. I have the results of Weldon's tox screen. There were opiates in his blood. Hydrocodone and carisoprodol.", "HODGINS: Perhaps he was self-medicating.", "CAM: That doesn't sound like Andrew.", "BRENNAN: You haven't seen him in years.", "CLARK: These are very high levels of opiates to have in your system if you're a surgeon.", "HODGINS: It's not uncommon for doctors to have substance abuse issues.", "CAM: Andrew was not a drug abuser. Look for physical indicators that might warrant opiate use. (pause) I am meeting Booth at the hospital if you have any information, which I hope you will. (Cam walks out.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to: Outside the Hospital. Cam and Booth enter.", "CAM: I took Michelle to ballet class and parent/teacher conferences. I read her to sleep. When I saw her and it all came back. I thought it would for her. Some of it at least.", "BOOTH: Look...Parker's seven and he can't even remember how to put on his underwear.", "CAM: Yeah, but he knows you. He knows what you've done for him.", "BOOTH: It's been ten years. People move on. It was just a relationship that didn't work out.", "CAM: It's a family, Seeley. A family that didn't work out.", "DR. MAURA BAILEY: (turning around and seeing Cam and Booth) Camille.", "CAM: Maura. It's been a long time.", "BAILEY: It's horrible what happened.", "CAM: Yeah. This is Special Agent Booth. Dr. Bailey's Roosevelt's Chief Administrator.", "BOOTH: Dr. Bailey. I would like to ask you a few questions about Dr. Welton.", "BAILEY: Of course. Let's find some privacy.", "(Bailey walks. Cam and Booth follow behind her)", "CAM: (aside to Booth only) We were both residents here. It was a really competitive environment.", "BAILEY: Does Michelle know?", "CAM: Yes, I saw her this morning.", "BAILEY: Oh, Poor kid. You two were pretty close as I remember.", "BOOTH: Dr. Bailey, we believe that Dr. Welton was killed at the benefit on Friday night.", "BAILEY: At the animal park?", "CAM: He was found in the tiger habitat. We need a list of everyone who attended the benefit: staff, caterers, park personnel assigned to the event.", "BAILEY: Of course.", "BOOTH: Did Dr. Welton have any enemies?", "BAILEY: The staff loved him. In the spirit of full disclosure, though, you should know that Dr. Welton and I had our fair share of disagreements. It's an occupational hazard.", "CAM: You always did like being in charge.", "BAILEY: I am in charge now, Camille. Andrew and I had policy disagreements, but I admired him. He was the best cardiovascular surgeon I knew.", "BOOTH: Any other patients, people inside the hospital...?", "BAILEY: Malpractice suits are par for the course in any hospital. And we are fighting 15 right now.", "BOOTH: I'm going to need a list of all those lawsuits naming Dr. Welton.", "BAILEY: Of course.", "CAM: Andrew usually made his rounds at night. Who would have seen him before he went to the benefit?", "BAILEY: You should check with the nurses in the Cardiac unit.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Nurse's Station in the Cardiac Unit - Roosevelt Hospital)", "NURSE 1 (GRETCHEN KUJAWA): Dr. Welton was the best. Everyone loved him.", "NURSE 2 (NANCY LAUDER): He lived for his patients.", "NURSE 3 (LAUREN DOBBS): And his daughter.", "NURSE 2 (NANCY): Dr. W made his rounds before the benefit. I helped him change a chest tube. I had to push him aside so his tux didn't get dirty. Other than that, it was like any other night.", "BOOTH: And no arguments with patients or family members?", "NURSE 2 (NANCY): Dr. Welton? No.", "CAM: Do you know if he was taking anyone to the benefit?", "NURSE 1 (GRETCHEN): I told him he could take me. ... He looked like James Bond.", "NURSE 2 (NANCY): You never knew who Dr. Welton was dating. He wasn't the type to settle down.", "CAM: Right.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: the Lab. Angela enters Hodgins' area)", "ANGELA: How's it going?", "HODGINS: Hey.", "ANGELA: Ooh. What is that smell? Are you wearing cologne?", "HODGINS: It's urine. I found traces of ureic acid on the victim's clothing. It was the pheromones you found pleasing.", "ANGELA: Yeah, yeah. Uh, the pheromones in tiger urine?", "HODGINS: Well, I assume it's tiger urine. The cat was probably marking it's territory.", "ANGELA: I was turned on by tiger urine?", "HODGINS: HaHa. Celibacy isn't easy, Ang.", "ANGELA: Tell me about it. I don't know why Sweets thinks this is going to help form more stable relationships. s*x is the glue. We were like epoxy.", "HODGINS: Sometimes relationships need more than just s*x.", "ANGELA: Okay. Okay, I get it. I wasn't wrong about Clark though, was I? He's cute. And he's built.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Not too comfortable with this part of the conversation.", "ANGELA: I'm just saying, I'm allowed to look, right? And remember? 'Member?", "HODGINS: Yeah. You should join a gym. Go for a run to burn off some of your excess...whatever it is. I really need to get back to my... ANGELA: Urine.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Lab - Autopsy Room - Brennan enters to speak with Cam)", "BRENNAN: I found nodules of ossified cartilage on Welton's thumbs between the metacarpals and carpals. He was suffering from synovial chondromatosis.", "CAM: He was in pain. That would explain the opiates. I also found ibuprofen, which he would've taken to reduce the inflammation.", "BRENNAN: The bony growths in his wrists would have caused him pain and severely restricted his mobility. It would have been very dangerous for him to perform surgery in his condition.", "CAM: Well, he wouldn't have done it. Not Andrew.", "BRENNAN: You can't know that. People change in ten years.", "CAM: Not someone's nature.", "BRENNAN: We're scientists. We can't quantify or rely on our emotions. They're arbitrary and indeterminate.", "CAM: We know people through our feelings, Dr. Brennan. You trust Booth because of what you feel.", "BRENNAN: No, I trust Booth because of past actions.", "CAM: And faith in the future. I'm sorry, but feelings are important. Even to you.", "(phone rings)", "CAM: (answering phone) Saroyan.", "BOOTH: A guy named Brandon Casey filed a malpractice suit after his wife died during surgery on Welton's operating table. After the suit was arbitrated in Welton's favor, Welton filed a restraining order against Casey.", "CAM: You think Casey killed Welton?", "BOOTH: Well, I don't know, but I do know that Casey bought a ticket to the benefit.", "BRENNAN: Why would someone who sued the hospital pay to go to its benefit?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act 2", "(Open: Interrogation Room - Booth interrogates Brandon Casey - Dr. Sweets is observing behind the glass.)", "CASEY: I, uh, don't understand why I'm here.", "BOOTH: Your wife died during surgery performed by Dr. Andrew Welton.", "CASEY: Yes, that was two years ago. She was only 32 years old. She had a congenital heart defect.", "BOOTH: And yet he had to take out a restraining order against you?", "CASEY: I was crazy when Alex died. I needed to blame someone.", "BOOTH: And you attacked him, which is why he had to take out a restraining order. Which I get because, you know...got to let the anger go.", "CASEY: I needed to find forgiveness, even compassion for the doctor.", "SWEETS: (from behind the glass) He seems sincere, but he still violated the restraining order.", "BOOTH: And yet you went to the benefit last Friday night ignoring the restraining order?", "CASEY: I went to apologize. I had accused this man of murder. I owed Dr. Welton an apology.", "BOOTH: And what did he say to you after you apologized?", "CASEY: Well, we didn't get a chance to talk. He was arguing with a woman. They were off to the side, really going at it. I didn't want to get in the middle of it. Okay...what's going on here? Did something happen to Dr. Welton?", "BOOTH: Yeah. He was murdered Friday night.", "CASEY: Uh. Oh my God.", "BOOTH: Do you know what this woman looked like?", "CASEY: No. I don't....", "BOOTH: What she was wearing?", "CASEY: I don't know.", "BOOTH: Was she tall? Was she short? Nothing?", "CASEY: I'm sorry. I don't remember.", "SWEETS: (from behind the glass) It's possible, Booth. People don't retain what they don't think is important.", "BOOTH: Great.", "CASEY: Beg your pardon.", "BOOTH: Nothing.", "SWEETS: But! The memories are still formed. See if he'll agree to hypnosis.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: the Lab - Brennan and Clark are examining the body.)", "BRENNAN: The gouge that extends from the ilium to the femur is deep and seems to have torn through the bone.", "CLARK: I found wounds on the proximal phalanx of the right fifth digit as well as the ulnar tuberosity.", "BRENNAN: Defensive wounds.", "CLARK: Yes. Caused by blunt force.", "ANGELA: (entering) Hey. I used the measurements of the injuries to run different scenarios on possible weapons.", "CLARK: And you did this while jogging?", "ANGELA: Well, yeah...I was burning off a little of my extra desire on the way to work, sweet pea.", "CLARK: Is sweet pea an appropriate workplace moniker?", "ANGELA: Don't worry, Clark, I won't eat you. Not that I'm not tempted.", "CLARK: Thank God.", "BRENNAN: Most men would be flattered by Angela's sexual interest in them.", "CLARK: Well, my sexual needs are well taken care of. Thank you.", "ANGELA: Really?", "CLARK: Your results, Ms. Montenegro", "(They move over to look at the computer)", "ANGELA: The force that would take to inflict injuries this severe would dictate either an extremely strong person over seven feet tall wielding a two-foot long metal pole.", "CLARK: Someone at the party would have noticed a giant.", "ANGELA: Or...Someone between 5'7\" and 5'11\" wielding a five-foot metal pole with a ten-centimeter diameter.", "BRENNAN: A metal pole of that length and diameter would be consistent with the defensive injuries we found. Now we have to determine what gouged the bone.", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, I'm going to need more information for that.", "SWEETS: (entering) Angela? Can I borrow you for a little while?", "ANGELA: To do what with? Sorry, that just popped out. I needed a longer run.", "SWEETS: Yeah, I understand. I am going to be interviewing a witness who can't remember a suspect and I need a sketch artist.", "ANGELA: Oh. (turns to look at Brennan)", "BRENNAN: We're finished.", "ANGELA: Cool. All yours, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Alright.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: an FBI room for the hypnosis)", "SWEETS: You are relaxed, Mr. Casey. Totally relaxed and completely aware of your surroundings. Can you tell me my name?", "CASEY: Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: Yes. And we are here together at the animal park, at the hospital benefit.", "CASEY: Yes, there are so many people here. And I keep missing the hors d'oeuvres.", "ANGELA: HaHaHa. You've got to be kidding me.", "SWEETS: (to Angela) Shh. (to Casey) Have you spotted Dr. Welton yet?", "CASEY: I know he's here someplace.", "(Cut to: Casey, Sweets and Angela \"at the benefit\" in Casey's memory)", "SWEETS: (sounds far away) How do you feel Mr. Casey? Are you angry? You thought this man killed your wife.", "SWEETS: No, no, I was wrong. I'm looking forward to seeing the doctor and making amends. Would you like some champagne?", "SWEETS: No thanks.", "ANGELA: Absolutely. (Angela picks up a glass off of a waiter' platter)", "SWEETS: Alright. Have you spotted Dr. Welton yet?", "(Cut to: FBI room)", "CASEY: No, I keep trying to get something to eat. I didn't have lunch.", "ANGELA: I'd like something to eat, too.", "SWEETS: Okay, here comes a waitress. (starts to sound far away - Cuts to: them in Casey's memory again) She's giving you what you want.", "CASEY: Thank you.", "SWEETS: Now, can you, can you see the doctor?", "CASEY: Yes. He's over by the path.", "SWEETS: What path?", "CASEY: The path that leads to the animals. I hear there's no fence. What if the animals can get out?", "SWEETS: Don't worry. You're perfectly safe, Mr. Casey.", "(Casey sees an elephant, zebra, emu and giraffe mingling with them and the other guests. He looks concerned.)", "(Cut to: FBI room - reality) The animals won't hurt you. They are very friendly.", "CASEY: Yes. Yes, they are. (A giraffe and zebra are seen walking in front of Casey, Angela and Sweets)", "SWEETS: You can see Dr. Welton very clearly now. Can't you? Is he alone?", "CASEY: No. He's with a woman.", "SWEETS: And they're arguing?", "CASEY: Yes. She's...she's yelling at him. He's trying to calm her down. She's pushing him.", "SWEETS: Look closer. Tell me what she looks like.", "CASEY: No, I need to move away. This is embarrassing.", "SWEETS: No, no, no, no. Not yet. Look at the woman. You can see her clearly now, can't you?", "CASEY: Yes.", "(Cut to: FBI room - reality)", "ANGELA: Okay, so let's sit here and we'll sip a little champagne and...(Cut to: back in Casey's memory) you can describe her to me. In detail.", "CASEY: She's about 50. Oval face, strong features, high cheekbones, hazel eyes, pointed nose... ANGELA: (to a giraffe) Uh, dude, you're blocking my light.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Roosevelt Hospital - Booth and Cam question Dr. Bailey)", "BOOTH: Do you recognize this woman, Dr. Bailey?", "BAILEY: Of course I do. (walks to show them a portrait hanging on the wall) This is Diane Annenburg. She's one of our biggest donors.", "BOOTH: We have a witness who saw this woman arguing with Dr. Welton the night of the benefit.", "BAILEY: A woman that generous is used to getting her own way, but she's not a killer.", "CAM: She wouldn't have been happy knowing that your best surgeon was disabled.", "Why didn't you mention that Andrew had synovial chondromatosis when we spoke?", "BAILEY: Because it didn't affect the investigation.", "BOOTH: If you think about it, the hospital would've been ruined if it came out that Dr. Welton was operating when he shouldn't have been. Annenburg would've looked like a fool.", "BAILEY: I know it's been a while, Camille, but you knew Andrew. He would never jeopardize a patient. We agreed he would only supervise during surgery until he decided what sort of treatment to follow.", "CAM: Is there any other reason Annenburg might have been angry with Andrew? She seems a little old for him.", "BAILEY: Her son, Rick, is in his last year of med school. He applied to Roosevelt for his surgical residency. Andrew ran that admissions committee.", "BOOTH: Did he reject her son?", "BAILEY: He did. We supported that decision.", "BOOTH: Looks like we have one unhappy mom.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act 3", "(Open: Booth's office - Booth questions Mrs. Annenburg.)", "BOOTH: So, you were seen arguing with Dr. Welton the night he died.", "MRS. ANNENBURG: At the benefit? That wasn't an argument.", "BOOTH: Then what was it?", "MRS.ANNENBURG: I was expressing my disappointment with Dr. Welton's decision to exclude my son from the residency program at Roosevelt.", "BOOTH: Money doesn't make you a god, Mrs. Annenburg.", "MRS. ANNENBURG: My son should've been accepted because he's deserving. Richard never wanted to be anything but a doctor. He worked for it. He finished second in his class. Obviously...Dr. Welton had some sort of personal issue with my son or with me.", "BOOTH: Right, and removing him would solve all your problems.", "MRS. ANNENBURG: Yes. I wanted him removed from the Board of Admissions. I-I do feel that my generosity entitles me to some sort of influence. But I did not want Dr. Welton killed.", "BOOTH: Well, I can only imagine that Richard was pretty angry with Welton, too. A young man like that who's used to getting whatever he wants might lose control.", "MRS.ANNENBURG: Don't be ridiculous.", "BOOTH: Was your son at the benefit that night?", "MRS ANNENBURG: Richard is a good boy, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Thank you for your time, Mrs. Annenburg.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Lab - Brennan and Clark. Cam enters.)", "CAM: (enters) Anything of value yet?", "BRENNAN: We are cataloguing injuries. I thought you would be with Booth.", "CAM: Questioning people isn't really my thing. Most of the time I just want to beat them until they tell me what I want to hear.", "BRENNAN: I know. It gets frustrating, and hitting can often be quite effective.", "EDISON: And you both work with the Justice Department?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "EDISON: Ironic... BRENNAN: How is Michelle? The loss of a father can be quite devastating.", "CAM: I haven't seen her again. I imagine Child Services will probably be moving her to a foster home soon.", "HODGINS: (entering) Those white flecks that were embedded in the pelvic bone? They're polymerized hydrocarbon from the serrated edge of a plastic knife. Seems our victim was attacked in the groin with disposable cutlery.", "CAM: Didn't we find a blood-soaked shoelace in the remains?", "BRENNAN: Yes. We assumed that the tiger coughed it up.", "EDISON: Under normal circumstances, a plastic knife could barely cut flesh.", "CAM: But if there was already an open wound caused by whatever punctured the artery... BRENNAN: Then a plastic knife could be used to enlarge the opening.", "HODGINS: Why? Make him bleed out faster?", "CAM: No. Someone was trying to make the bleeding stop.", "BRENNAN: The puncture wounds were too high for a tourniquet, so they used the knife to gain access to the vascular area.", "CAM: The shoelace was probably used to tie off the femoral artery, but the procedure failed.", "EDISON: Who would attack him and then try to save him?", "BRENNAN: Someone with a medical background.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Interrogation room - Booth interrogates Richard Annenburg.)", "BOOTH: So, uh, tell me about Dr. Welton.", "RICHARD ANNENBURG: He was a...good man. A good doctor. It's terrible what happened to him.", "BOOTH: I heard he made the mistake of getting between you and something you've been working for your whole life.", "RICHARD: My mother tell you that?", "BOOTH: She said you wanted to be a doctor.", "RICHARD: She's right.", "BOOTH: Roosevelt's got some of the best residencies. I can see why you wouldn't want anything to get in your way.", "RICHARD: What does that mean?", "BOOTH: Well, you see, the suspect that we're looking for had motive, opportunity and a medical background. Does that sound like anyone in this room?", "RICHARD: You think I killed Dr. Welton? I want to save lives, Agent Booth, that's why I'm a doctor.", "BOOTH: Someone tried to save Dr. Welton. You know, they tried to stop the bleeding after they attacked him.", "RICHARD: I didn't even want the residency. I begged Dr. Welton to reject me.", "BOOTH: After all that hard work. Now why would you do something like that?", "RICHARD: To get away from my mother. She seems all benevolent, but she's a control freak. And Dr. Welton, he understood that I had to get away from her to be the kind of doctor I wanted to be.", "BOOTH: So he stood up fro you, even though he might lose his job?", "RICHARD: Yeah. Look, you don't have to believe me. If somebody tried to stop the bleeding, then they'd be covered in blood themselves. Take my clothes. You can run all the tests you want.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Porch of the Welton house)", "CAM: I just wanted to find out how you were doing. I know how difficult this must be for you.", "MICHELLE: Aren't you supposed to be finding out who did this to my dad?", "CAM: And I will. I swear to you. I know what a good man he was. And what a great father. (shows Michelle a picture of the three of them) You don't remember?", "MICHELLE: Yeah. Yeah, I remember. I remember that you said you loved me and that we were a family. And then you just left.", "CAM: The reason I left... was between your father and me. It had nothing to do with you, Michelle.", "MICHELLE: Yeah. That's what he always said. But if you care so much, why don't you explain it to me right now?", "CAM: I don't know, if he didn't talk to you about it, I... MICHELLE: I waited for you. I looked out the window for weeks waiting on you to come home. You don't say that you love somebody and then just walk out like that.", "CAM: Your father and I were going to get married, Michelle. But your father, he... (she pauses)", "MICHELLE: What?", "CAM: He was still seeing other women. Even after we were engaged. And I tried to work through it. I loved him. I still do. But after your mother...I don't think your father could ever commit like that again. And that wasn't something I could live with.", "MICHELLE: Maybe, because he knew that you weren't good enough. Maybe he was just waiting for the right woman.", "CAM: Maybe. I'm...I'm sorry I brought it up. I never stopped thinking about you, Michelle. And if there's anything... MICHELLE: (interrupting) I don't need anything from you. Just go. Leave me alone. Go!", "(Cam picks up her bag and walks off the porch)", "(Michelle picks the picture of the three of them and looks at it. She sobs.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act 4", "(Open: Lab - Angela, Cam and Brennan sit around table in upstairs lounge)", "ANGELA: So what did Michelle say to you?", "CAM: She said, uh, that I wasn't good enough for her father and that was why he saw other women.", "BRENNAN: Welton cheated on you?", "CAM: That's why I left.", "BRENNAN: Did that bother you?", "ANGELA: Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that most people don't like to be cheated on?", "CAM: The only people who don't mind have just given up.", "ANGELA: (jumping in) Or are very, very rational and above those archaic notions of monogamy.", "CAM: Right, yes, of course. I'm not quite evolved enough.", "BRENNAN: Excuse me, this is not my area of expertise, but if Welton cheated on you, he may have been cheating on other women.", "CAM: Probably was. The only person he ever was faithful to was Michelle.", "ANGELA: Well, there you go. He was playing the field and somebody probably nuked him for it.", "BRENNAN: Well, how do you know?", "ANGELA: Because. Despite the fact that I would love to have my legs wrapped around one right now, men are awful.", "HODGINS: Hey. (Cam, Angela and Brennan glare at him) Whoa. What'd I do?", "CAM: You're a man.", "HODGINS: I have information.", "BRENNAN: Go ahead.", "HODGINS: The ureic acid on the victim's clothing, it's feline, but it's not tiger pee. Sediment composition and pH level suggest that it was from a lion.", "CAM: Are you aware that lionesses do all the hunting?", "BRENNAN: Yes, the males simply copulate and eat what the females catch.", "ANGELA: And when they get cranky, they eat the cubs. Mm-hmm, men.", "HODGINS: Wow. Before I flee for my life, the particles I found in the wounds around the femoral artery, the ones I thought might be mica? They're scales.", "BRENNAN: Hmm, fish?", "HODGINS: No, snake. I can maybe have a species by tomorrow.", "ANGELA: Hey. You wanna stay and have a drink?", "(Cam snaps her fingers at Angela)", "ANGELA: Oh. Yeah. We hate men.", "HODGINS: I'm going to go...now.", "ANGELA: He does have a terrific ass.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps, that's why you're always making him leave.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Lab - Forensics platform)", "BRENNAN: No lions?", "HODGINS: None in the whole park. There are tigers.", "BOOTH: How much difference can there be between lion urine and tiger urine?", "BRENNAN: There are no stripes in tiger urine.", "BOOTH: I didn't say there are.", "BRENNAN: I just know how much you love cartoons.", "HODGINS: Tom and Jerry?", "BOOTH: Bugs and Daffy.", "HODGINS: All right, now, this is the Capybara enclosure. (brings up a picture of a capybara on the Wildlife Park) Now, they use crystallized lion urine around the edges of this enclosure to keep the capybaras inside.", "Then, look at this. (Hodgins brings up another picture)", "BRENNAN: The reptile shed.", "BOOTH: (going up behind Brennan) Snakes!", "BRENNAN: Ahhh. What is that?", "HODGINS: It's a snake hook. It's used for picking them up, but keeping them at a safe distance.", "BRENNAN: That hook could have severed the artery and deposited the snake scales in the gouge in the femur.", "BOOTH: So, he was killed around that area with something like that thing.", "BRENNAN: That is very imprecise.", "BOOTH: Works for me.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Angela's office - Clark enters with Dr. Nora Oldhouse.)", "EDISON: Angela?", "ANGELA: Clark...Hello.", "EDISON: I would like you to meet my romantic partner, Dr. Nora Oldhouse.", "ANGELA: Hello, romantic partner.", "EDISON: Yes, we're romantically involved...together. She and I.", "NORA: Clark, she heard you.", "EDISON: Nora, these are not like regular people. It's best to be very, very clear with them. Nora is a tenured Professor of Women's Studies at Georgetown. And a vegan.", "ANGELA: Could you be any more politically correct. Or cute?", "EDISON: See? See what she just did there. I mean, it's harassment, baby. Hey, we're in a monogamous relationship. I need you to back up off me, lady.", "NORA: I understand you've recently decided to be celibate, Ms. Montenegro?", "ANGELA: Uh, temporarily, yeah.", "NORA: That can have some physiological repercussions.", "ANGELA: Tell me about it. But unbelievable fantasies.", "NORA: Did you know that women in the 19th century would visit their physicians for anxiety and hysteria? And as treatment the doctor would provide manual sexual stimulation to the women and the subsequent orgasm provided -", "EDISON: (interrupting) Oh, God! Nora, what are you doing?", "ANGELA: I don't think that my insurance covers that.", "NORA: Well, I'm just saying that these women weren't getting what they needed at home, you understand? In the absence of a s*x partner, there are other alternatives.", "EDISON: (vehemently adding in) To me. Alternatives to me.", "NORA: Vibrators, other s*x toys.", "EDISON: Oh, God, oh God, why am I here for this? I don't need to be hearing this, excuse me.", "ANGELA: He's very sweet.", "NORA: I know. It was nice to meet you.", "ANGELA: you, too, thank you for the tip. (Nora starts to walk away) Hey, Dr. Oldhouse? I wasn't wrong about Clark, was I? He's tightly wound, but-", "NORA: Dynamite, Ms. Montenegro. A briefcase bomb.", "ANGELA: That's what I thought.", "EDISON: (walking in to take Nora's arm) Baby.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: FBI hallway - Cam and Booth walking to a meeting room)", "CAM: When I was talking with Ang and Brennan last night about men, it occurred to me that Andrew probably didn't change much when it came to women.", "BOOTH: Come on, it's been 10 years. You think Andrew was still visiting the same place?", "CAM: Andrew was set in his routines and if I remember Langston correctly, this guy didn't miss a thing. (Cam and Booth enter the meeting room.) Hiya, Langston.", "LANGSTON: I know you.", "CAM: It's been awhile.", "LANGSTON: Three-zero-one. Wednesday afternoons with Dr. Welton. Noisy afternoons. You always left smiling.", "BOOTH: Hey.", "LANGSTON: You were a nurse at the hospital.", "BOOTH: She was a doctor. Okay, and now she's a Federal Coroner. So a little respect, okay, Rumpelstiltskin?", "LANGSTON: Coroner, huh? Somebody die?", "CAM: Yeah, Langston, Dr. Welton.", "LANGSTON: My bet, a jealous husband. Or a jealous ex, maybe.", "BOOTH: You're wearing on me, sport.", "CAM: I'm gonna guess that Andrew kept coming to your motel after me.", "LANGSTON: Uh, yep, he kept coming.", "BOOTH: With anyone special?", "LANGSTON: I don't know her name.", "CAM: Describe her then.", "LANGSTON: Good looking, like all of ya. Uh, tall. He liked them tall. Pretty face, sharp features. And red hair.", "CAM: Red hair?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act 5", "(Open: FBI meeting room)", "(Brennan puts down a snake hook on the table in front of Dr. Bailey)", "BAILEY: I have no idea what that is.", "BOOTH: That's the murder weapon.", "BRENNAN: The point of the hook tapers in a manner identical to the fatal wounds we found on the head of the femur and the pelvic bone.", "BOOTH: Plus, the curved nature of the weapon resulted in, what was that?", "BRENNAN: Cortical splintering.", "BOOTH: See, Dr. Brennan's people found that Dr. Welton was truck with this between two and...(looking to Brennan)", "BRENNAN: Four times.", "BOOTH: Four times.", "BRENNAN: And then was stabbed with this. In the femoral artery.", "BOOTH: Would you be willing to give us the clothes you wore the night of the benefit?", "BAILEY: If you had any evidence implicating me, you'd have a warrant. I believe I'll decline.", "BRENNAN: We know you had an affair with Dr. Welton.", "BOOTH: Which means your husband is a suspect. We'd have to question him, too.", "BAILEY: I don't appreciate your veiled attempt at blackmail.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) She thought that was veiled!", "BAILEY: My position dictates that any legal dealings that concern me have to go through the hospital's attorney. I'm sure you understand.", "BOOTH: Right, got her on the run, Bones.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: the Lab - Cam sits at the table in the upstairs lounge with a salt/pepper shaker)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins found another way to track the killer. Angela is going through all the digital photos from the benefit now. You want to hear the details?", "CAM: Not right now if you don't mind.", "BRENNAN: (seeing the figurine) What's this?", "CAM: When I left Michelle 10 years ago, I knew Andrew wouldn't say what needed to be said so... BRENNAN: You did it.", "CAM: No. I didn't know what to say. She was so little and I loved her so much. And I haven't had a child of my own, but I find it impossible to believe anyone...anyone could love a child more. But I had no place in her life anymore so, I had to... BRENNAN: You had to leave room in case Andrew found someone else who might help raise Michelle.", "CAM: I had this old salt and pepper set my grandmother gave me before she died. Fits together. I kept this one and I gave Michelle the other half. And I told her that whenever she looked at it she should know that at that exact moment, I'd be thinking of her and loving her.", "BRENNAN: That is not strictly... CAM: I know, Dr. Brennan. But I swear sometimes I looked at my half and I knew that little girl was missing me.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps you should take her in now.", "CAM: What?", "BRENNAN: She's an orphan. She's alone in the world. She needs a parent.", "CAM: Michelle stopped loving me years ago.", "BRENNAN: But you never stopped loving her. She'll know that. The Mohawk Indians have a saying that when a child falls in the rapids, the one who rescues her will share in her new life forever. I assume that doesn't only apply to a potential drowning victim. I have to go help Angela find a snake. (Brennan gets up. Cam looks at the salt/pepper shaker)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Angela's office - Brennan stands over Angela looking at her computer)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins says the scales from the wound didn't come from any snakes at the park.", "ANGELA: So we should look for bloody clothing or snake skin. Dr. Bailey is here but she's wearing this white dress.", "BRENNAN: Well, that's late in the evening. If she'd been the killer, it would be covered in blood.", "ANGELA: (zooming in on a photograph) Oh, boy.", "BRENNAN: A snakeskin handbag. Can you magnify that more? (Angela zooms in on the handbag alone)", "ANGELA: That is definitely torn.", "BRENNAN: Could be from the murder weapon. Can you pull back to see the person?", "(she pulls back on the picture and move a few frames forward - the picture clearly shows the person)", "ANGELA: It's Nancy Lauder.", "BRENNAN: The nurse. But her dress is black. It wouldn't have shown blood.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Roosevelt Hospital)", "(Brennan, Booth and Cam approach the Nurses' station)", "BOOTH: We have a warrant for the snakeskin handbag and the dress you wore to the fundraiser that night.", "LAUDER: I burned the dress. I was covered in blood.", "BOOTH: I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Dr. Andrew Welton.", "(Booth cuffs her)", "LAUDER: I thought he'd change.", "BOOTH: Yeah, you knew Dr. Welton was having an affair with Dr. Bailey.", "LAUDER: All those years. I was always there for him. If anyone knows how I felt, it's you.", "CAM: No, we're not the same, Nancy. I left Andrew.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Welton house - Cam and Michelle are talking in the living room.)", "MICHELLE: Why did she kill my father? Yeah, I got it.", "CAM: Your father was a good man, Michelle. I still carry him with me. And he loved you. We're both very lucky.", "MICHELLE: I miss him so much.", "CAM: I want you to consider something. You need a place to live now.", "MICHELLE: Yeah, uh, my dad has some kind of cousin in Chicago.", "CAM: I...(Cam puts the salt/pepper shaker on the coffee table) would like you to come live with me.", "(Michelle runs upstairs. Cam starts to walk out the front door.)", "MICHELLE: (coming down the stairs holding the other salt/pepper shaker) Where you going?", "CAM: I thought...", "(Michelle puts the two salt/pepper shakers together so they fit into a hug. Michelle runs to hug Cam. They both cry.)", "END." ]

[ "Booth and Brennan are sent to investigate when human remains are found during a photo shoot. When the team uncovers a meteorite in the victim's ear, they are led to the Collar Institute of Science in D.C. There they learn the victim had been a part of a controversial project, Brennan and Booth must investigate the several death threats she had received. Meanwhile, Angela's father arrives in town to confront Hodgins." ]

[ "\"The Science in the Physicist\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(A vacant lot)", "PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay, give everything, my darling. Everything. Utter draw, stop or clasp gloss. Okay, keep her lit. (instructing assistants) Keep her bathed in the glow. Alright, yes. Okay good. (to the model) Now look up. Alright, yes, nice, okay. Right in front of you. That's it. That's the future. Yes, okay. (crows start to caw) What the hell is that?", "MODEL: Pigeons or blackbirds or crows. Something along those lines.", "PHOTOGRAPHER: (to his assistant) Telephoto. (the assistant brings over a new lens)", "MODEL: (to herself) God, he has an idea.", "PHOTOGRAPHER: (taking pictures of the crows) This is what we need. Caw, caw. Yeah, flap, flap. Yeah, yeah. Give me more. Yes, this! Aviary! Wings! Yes! Beaks! Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw. Those creatures...they are death. (to the model) Flap you're arms, chaste at the way, but remain beautiful. You understand?", "MODEL: Running through a vacant lot. (laughs). And a bunch of birds. In six inch heels.", "(The model runs into the group of crows. They fly up around her and she screams)", "PHOTOGRAPHER: Ooh, excellent. Good, good, good. You're a leopard. Leap! You're an angel. Yes, beautiful! Beautiful! Terror! Fear! Okay, gaze heavenward. Look at the beastly birds, my darling. Look up. Oh, I love it! Yes! (the model stops moving. She's seen something in the grass. It is an ear) Gaze heavenward, darling. Yes, look up at the beastly birds. Look up at the...", "(the model screams. The camera flashes become those of the forensic crime scene team. Techs are walking all around the crime scene gathering evidence. The model and photographer are being interviewed. Brennan kneels down to investigate the remains. Booth stands behind)", "BOOTH: Okay, so what's it look like to you?", "BRENNAN: An ear.", "BOOTH: Did you just make a joke?", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: Cause that wouldn't be like you.", "BRENNAN: (shaking her head) I didn't. It looks like an ear.", "BOOTH: What do you make of the stuff in the blue bag then?", "BRENNAN: It looks like chili con carne.", "BOOTH: Could this be the rest of the person who lost the ear?", "BRENNAN: I don't know. It looks like chili con carne. There's no single piece here bigger than the skull of an australopithecus.", "BOOTH: Sports terms, Bones. Remember we talked about this.", "BRENNAN: Oh um... (she demonstrates the size with her hands)", "BOOTH: Ah, softball. Good, you're getting better. Size of a softball.", "BRENNAN: At first guess, the total mass in this garbage bag does not add up to an entire human being.", "BOOTH: Right. I'll just get forensics to scour the entire lot.", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: (leans down and whispers) Hey, would you even want to guess what happened to this human being?", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: I knew you'd say that. I just have to ask. (stands straight and yells) Alright, let's scour it up.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: the Platform)", "(Cam, Vincent Vincent and Hodgins are looking over two bags of human remains)", "HODGINS: Wow.", "CAM: I've been a pathologist for 13 years and I admit, I am...a little nauseated.", "VINCENT: It's going to fall to me to empty these bags, isn't it? (Cam and Hodgins look at him) Alright, fine. I may need a pot of tea waiting.", "HODGINS: (moving a light over one of the bags) Maggots place time of death somewhere between 48 and 72 hours.", "CAM: I'm gonna go with the wood chipper on this.", "HODGINS: (picking something out of the remains) In this case it was a gold wood chipper. This looks like gold.", "VINCENT: The ancient Samarians were prone to spreading gold dust over the body during funeral rights.", "CAM: Did the Samarians chop up the body into little tiny bits first?", "VINCENT: Not to my knowledge.", "HODGINS: (picking out another substance from the remains) What is this?", "CAM: A black pearl?", "VINCENT: Pearls: symbolizing eggs or rebirth and resurrection were used in many south seas funeral rights.", "CAM: Did they chop the bodies into little tiny bits first?", "VINCENT: Uh...(Cam nods her head) I've begun to apprehend your point, Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: Find out how many corpses we're dealing with.", "HODGINS: I'll find out if these are really gold flecks and pearl fragments.", "(Cam and Hodgins both walk away leaving Vincent with the two bags of remains)", "(The Royal Diner)", "(Angela and Brennan are eating and drinking coffee)", "ANGELA: Celibacy is a lot like fasting.", "BRENNAN: So you've become sexually anorexic?", "ANGELA: At first you're out of sorts and agitated and then you sort of push through to a kind of clarity.", "BRENNAN: Have you reached clarity?", "ANGELA: No. I'm still at the agitated and horny stage.", "BRENNAN: Why are you fasting sexually?", "ANGELA: Sweets thinks it will do me good to put s*x on the back burner in order to related to people in other...(she looks out the window and sees her father standing in the street. Heavy electric guitar is heard in the background)", "BRENNAN: Why are you listening to Sweets?", "ANGELA: (still looking outside in shock. She turns back to Brennan) Um... (she turns to look back outside and her father is gone)", "BRENNAN: Angela, I asked, \"Why are you listening to Sweets?\"", "ANGELA: Sweetie, can you pay for this? I have to go.", "BRENNAN: Sure, why?", "ANGELA: I have to save Hodgins' life. (She pauses then walks out. Brennan looks confused)", "(Medico-Legal Lab - The autopsy room)", "(Cam is inspecting the remains. Booth is standing, looking in the opposite direction)", "CAM: I found something interesting on the cellular level.", "BOOTH: I don't care about the cellular level.", "CAM: No hemorrhagic tissue.", "BOOTH: (turning around) What?", "CAM: It means the victim was dead before being chopped up. You care about that right?", "BOOTH: No, not really. What I'm interested in is how this guy got chopped up.", "(Cam takes off her gloves and grabs the remote for one of the monitors. She zooms in on a picture of a cell)", "CAM: Now this here shows that the cell burst from the inside out.", "BOOTH: Gives me nothing. (Booth turns and begins to leave)", "CAM: Frostbite can do that.", "BOOTH: Oh, what? Like climbing a mountain?", "CAM: (running after him) Yes! Exactly! The water in the cells crystallizes and explodes.", "(Hodgins walks up to them as they reach the platform area)", "HODGINS: I have got an absolutely fascinating clue to tell you.", "(Angela runs in, interrupting)", "ANGELA: Hey, hey. Uh, you have to leave town.", "HODGINS: What? Why?", "BOOTH: No. Fascinating clue first.", "HODGINS: The pearl we found in the victim wasn't a pearl. (back to Angela) Why do I have to leave town?", "ANGELA: My father is here.", "CAM: (to Hodgins) What was it then?", "HODGINS: carbonaceous chondrites. It's what meteorites are made out of. (to Angela) You're father blames me for our break-up?", "ANGELA: Well he has sort of a blind spot when it comes to me so I think you should just get out of town until I can call him off.", "BOOTH: Stop. Okay, stop it. Dead guy. What about the dead guy?", "CAM: It's obvious. He was frostbitten while climbing Everest. Then struck by a meteor then dumped into a vacant lot in two garbage bags and eaten by crows.", "BOOTH: (walking away) Alright, obvious. It's so obvious.", "CAM: Hey, it's a start.", "(Opening Credits)", "(Medico-Legal Lab - Experiment room)", "(A crash dummy is standing with a target on its chest. Vincent circles around it and removes the target)", "VINCENT: The slowest meteorite travel at 25,000 miles per hour.", "HODGINS: (setting a dial on a piece of equipment) Uh-huh.", "VINCENT: I'm not just spouting useless facts. You do not have a chance at recreating those velocities with a glorified blow-gun. You simply want to fire a cannon at a dummy.", "HODGINS: (with a pair of noise canceling headphones around his neck and goggles on, he offers a pair to Vincent) You staying or going?", "VINCENT: (taking the headphones and goggles) Another set of eyes and ears taking note can never be a miss.", "(They put on the goggles and headphones and about to fire when Brennan walks in. She looks at what they are about to do)", "BRENNAN: What possible information could this experiment provide us that you couldn't get mathematically?", "HODGINS: Mathematics is theory. This is a real world recreation.", "BRENNAN: In order to prove what exactly?", "VINCENT: That a frozen person struck by a meteorite would turn into chili con carne.", "BRENNAN: NASA has no record of a meteorite of the size and type striking North America at the time of death.", "HODGINS: Oh.", "BRENNAN: According to NASA, the meteorite matching these characteristics is right here in D.C.", "VINCENT: Oh.", "HODGINS: I'm all set up and everything.", "BRENNAN: You're experiment is not pertinent. (She leaves)", "(Hodgins and Vincent look at each other and then proceed to put the headphones back on)", "(Medico-Legal Lab: The floor)", "(Booth is standing around as Brennan walks towards him from the experiment room)", "BOOTH: So you find out where the meteor came from?", "BRENNAN: From the solar nebula.", "BOOTH: Alright. Anything more current than that?", "HODGINS: (from inside the experiment room) FIRE IN THE HOLE!!", "(Booth and Brennan both turn to look when an explosion goes off in the room shaking the walls. Booth throws Brennan against the wall in an effort to protect)", "BOOTH: What the hell was that?", "(Hodgins and Vincent walk out of the room coughing and trying to clear the smoke)", "HODGINS: We're okay. Everything's fine. (Cam walks up to them)", "BRENNAN: We should get out of here before lockdown. Let Cam deal with them.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (They grab hands and run out just as the alarms go off the and doors shut)", "CAM: (to Hodgins and Vincent) You know you're grounded, right?", "(The Collar Institute for Physics Research)", "(Booth and Brennan step up to a meteor displayed in the middle of the lobby)", "BOOTH: So you think the piece of meteor we found in the murder victim came from this?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, it's an exact match. The sillicate oxite ratios are indistinguishable. Well, you've heard of Landis Collar, right?", "BOOTH: Sure I have. Mmmhmmm. Blind guy. World's leading expert in super-conductivity.", "BRENNAN: Do you even know what super-conductivity is?", "BOOTH: I know it's better than normal conductivity.", "(A young man dressed very casual approaches Booth and Brennan)", "MAN: Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan. I'm Christopher Beaudette, senior scholar here at the Collar. Shall we?", "BOOTH: Yes. (they follow Beaudette) So you work in super-conductivity.", "BEAUDETTE: Uh, no, Agent Booth. I'm doing research into generating power from earthquakes.", "BOOTH: Groundbreaking.", "BRENNAN: (laughing at the pun) That was a funny joke.", "BEAUDETTE: (sarcastically) Yeah. One I've never ever heard before.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Are these people here smarter than you?", "(Landis Collar approaches)", "COLLAR: (joining the conversation) That would depend on how one defines intelligence. I'm Landis Collar. Thank you, Christopher.", "BEAUDETTE: Landis. (he leaves)", "BOOTH: I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is uh... COLLAR: (finishing his sentence) Dr. Temperance Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Is that clicking noise attached to your blindness, Dr. Collar?", "COLLAR: Yes. Prototype. Sonic Echo Locater. (demonstrating while speaking) It allows me to (he grabs Brennan's arm) apprehend my surroundings. Have you forgiven me?", "BOOTH: Forgiving him?", "BRENNAN: I was turned down for a fellowship here at the institute.", "COLLAR: No, no. That is not true. Your anthropological research was rejected because it looked to the past, not the future. ad etierno ad glorium ad posterus.", "BRENNAN: (translating the Latin) To eternity, to glory, to the future.", "BOOTH: Right. Then why say your motto in a dead, ancient language?", "BRENNAN: Okay, Booth.", "COLLAR: How can I help?", "BOOTH: (takes out the evidence bag with the meteorite piece) Uh, this...if you put your hand out I'll...here you go.", "BRENNAN: What Agent Booth has given you is... COLLAR: I know what it is. (pause) It's a piece of my meteorite.", "BOOTH: That's impressive for a blind man.", "COLLAR: I know because I had it made for Diane.", "BOOTH: Diane?", "COLLAR: Dr. Diane Sidman, my fiancé. The meteorite was set in her engagement ring.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Well that would explain the gold flecks.", "COLLAR: What's happened? Is Diane alright?", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw Diane?", "COLLAR: A few days ago. She was ill which is understandable considering the pressure she's under.", "BOOTH: Pressure?", "COLLAR: She's editor-in-chief of the Collar Journal, perhaps the most important venue for scientific publishing in the world. (he turns to Brennan) Please, what has happened?", "BRENNAN: We have discovered some human remains which contain what is most certainly your fiance's engagement ring.", "(Collar looks down and turns his Sonic Echo Locater back on. He walks over to a bench and sits)", "BOOTH: We'd like to talk to anyone who may have interacted with Diane before she disappeared.", "COLLAR: You must speak with Diane's students, chief among them Jennifer Keating and Milton Alvaredo. I'll have Dr. Beaudette bring them to you. (he stands and returns the meteorite piece to Booth) If you need anything else I'll be in my office.", "(Another section of the Collar Institute)", "(Booth and Brennan are following a student, Milton Alvaredo)", "MILTON: My god, Dr. Sidman is dead?", "BRENNAN: We have not yet made a positive identification.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw her, Milton?", "MILTON: Um, I suffer from a kind of chronological dyslexia which makes it very difficult for me to place discrete events accurately on a linear timeline.", "BOOTH: Whoo. (to Brennan) This one's all yours.", "BRENNAN: What exactly are you working on?", "MILTON: I'm endeavoring to find a way to transmit single celled organisms using common pond scum from one location to another.", "BOOTH: Ever try a spoon?", "MILTON: I've had some success vibrating two separate samples of single cell scum in complete symmetry in a quantum level.", "BRENNAN: That's very impressive. (to Booth) You wouldn't understand, Booth.", "BOOTH: Of course I do. Beam me up, Scotty.", "MILTON: Very good. Yes, exactly.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Sidman must have been eager to publish that in the journal.", "MILTON: Very excited, yes. Pending a few questions.", "BOOTH: Is this publishing thing important?", "BRENNAN: Publisher parish!", "BOOTH: I mean is it motive?", "MILTON: For murder you mean? Definitely.", "BRENNAN: Definitely.", "MILTION: But only on the level of vengeance. Killing her would not reverse the decision unless of course the person who killed her wanted to take over her position. I last saw Diane when Jennifer asked us to stop arguing so loudly.", "BRENNAN: Jennifer Keating, Dr. Sidman's other grad student?", "MILTON: Yes. Jenny works in cosmogenic isotope research. It can make her cranky. (he walks away)", "BOOTH: This place is making me cranky.", "(Collar Institute - Jennifer Keating's Office)", "JENNIFER: I asked Milton to quiet down, not Diane. I would never get made at Diane.", "BOOTH: Why?", "JENNIFER: She's editor-in-chief of the Journal.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Publisher parish, right? (to Jennifer) What were they arguing about?", "JENNIFER: I have no idea. Could have been about anything. Landis encourages a free exchange of ideas and it can get pretty intense.", "BRENNAN: You specialize in cosmogenic isotope research?", "BOOTH: Cosmogenic?", "BRENNAN: It's a new way of dating artifacts using 14-C isotopes.", "JENNIFER: Through accelerated mass spectroscopy.", "BOOTH: Oh. That'd make me cranky too.", "BRENNAN: I can't imagine that your project excited Diane Sidman.", "BOOTH: Vini vidi vici. Look to the future. Carbon dating is all about the past.", "JENNIFER: You're right. There was no way she was going to publish me. This time next year I'll be looking for post-graduate work.", "BOOTH: Was that the last time you saw Diane Sidman?", "JENNIFER: Yes. Three days ago. Why? Is something wrong?", "BRENNAN: It is possible that she is dead.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: the bone room)", "(Vincent has all the bone fragments laid out on the table and is explaining his findings to Hodgins)", "VINCENT: Bones account for approximately 15% of the mass of a human being. Given that the total bone mass here comes to 8.9 kilograms, that would suggest a human being who weighed approximately 59.33333333 kilograms.", "HODGINS: 131 pounds. Well, it matches the victims stats. (Hodgins pulls up Diane Sidman's file on the monitor)", "VINCENT: Oh, it's Diane Sidman alright. Dr. Saroyan got DNA confirmation.", "(Cam walks by the room. She sees that both are in the room alone and does a double take)", "HODGINS: There are not other particulates outside of the gold flecks and meteorite.", "(Cam enters the room)", "CAM: What'd I tell you?", "(Hodgins and Vincent slowly turn around)", "HODGINS: That we aren't allowed in the same room without supervision.", "CAM: Why?", "VINCENT: Because we were stupid enough to fire a cannon indoors.", "CAM: And?", "HODGINS: You know you're here which counts for supervision so (see Cam's face) I'll leave. (Hodgins exits)", "VINCENT: There's a deep pitting in these bones which may or may not be connected to the fractures. Also, I excluded wood chipper as a possibility.", "CAM: How?", "VINCENT: Whirling blades would create parallel and evenly spaced fractures. (pointing to monitor) These patterns appear to be completely random. Even more puzzling, they are unusually clean.", "CAM: (studying the photos) What if the cellular damage and the fractures were caused by the same thing? (changing the image on the screen to a close up of the cells) The cells could have burst as a result of ice micro crystals having formed as the body was rapidly frozen.", "VINCENT: You mean freeze the body and then shatter the bones? (Cam nods) Liquid nitrogen? (She nods again. He looks nervous as he points to the door)", "CAM: You have my permission to confer with Dr. Hodgins on the subject. (She turns to leave)", "VINCENT: In the same room, yes? Just to be clear.", "CAM: (as she exits) Any damages come out of your pay.", "(Collar Institute - Diane Sidman's work area)", "(Landis Collar is leading Booth and Brennan into the room. There are equations and mathematics over every whiteboard surface. There are two tables both with nothing but lamps on them)", "COLLAR: As requested, Diane's work area.", "BOOTH: Woah. Looks like somebody cleaned it out.", "BRENNAN: Oh, no, Booth. Dr. Sidman was a theoretical physicist. She didn't do experiments. She figured everything out through equations. (She gestures to the ones on the wall)", "COLLAR: Diane was a member of the Large Hatrin Collider team.", "BOOTH: Isn't that that thing in Europe that's going to create a black hole and end the universe?", "BRENNAN: There's only a very small chance of that actually occurring.", "COLLAR: And yet Diane received a number of death threats.", "BRENNAN: Diane Sidman's role was important to the Large Hatrin Collider team?", "COLLAR: The effort to find the Higgs Boson will be set back months.", "BRENNAN: (very interested) The God particle?", "BOOTH: What's that?", "COLLAR: Uh, theoretical particle which explains why matter has mass.", "BOOTH: Mass and matter aren't the same?", "(Collar and Brennan look at each other as if Booth must be joking)", "BOOTH: Oh come on. Don't look at each other like that. I bet neither one of you know how to make your own beer.", "BRENNAN: You realized you just said \"Don't look at each other\" to a blind man?", "BOOTH: You have records of the threats made against her?", "COLLAR: Yes. Ever since one of our scientists was attacked for his work in cloning.", "BRENNAN: Milton Alvaredo suggested that we look at whomever was going to replace Diane Sidman as editor-in-chief.", "COLLAR: That would be the senior scholar, Chirstopher Beaudette.", "BRENNAN: You can understand how that makes him a suspect.", "BOOTH: I'll tell Sweets to look into the threats to see if they're worth following up. (He turns to begin to leave)", "COLLAR: If it matters, Diane and Christopher were also enjoying a sexual relationship.", "BOOTH: (stepping towards Collar) Woah. If it matters? I thought you were going to marry her.", "COLLAR: At which time by mutual agreement, Diane and Christopher's sexual relationship was to cease.", "BRENNAN: Completely rational.", "BOOTH: Except for the completely insane part where somebody killed Diane Sidman.", "(FBI Interrogation Room - The Observation Section)", "(Sweets is in the Interrogation section with Beaudette)", "SWEETS: (from the room, through the speaker) I'll be right back, Dr. Beaudette. (He leaves the room)", "BOOTH: You know it's a good thing they didn't accept you at that place.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: It's creepy. Everyone there is creepy.", "BRENNAN: Well if you think they're creepy then you must think that I'm creepy.", "BOOTH: Well, you have a creepy mode, Bones.", "(Sweets enters the observation section)", "SWEETS: Very interesting man. Highly self-aware, major league smarty-pants.", "BOOTH: Ah, right. Little brain checks in, big brain checks out.", "BRENNAN: Uh, I don't know what that means. Little brain, big brain?", "SWEETS: He freely admits he had an ongoing sexual relationship with the victim.", "BRENNAN: Ohhhh. That little brain.", "SWEETS: But, he denies ever having been (using air quotes) \"in love\" with her.", "BOOTH: What's with the hooked fingers?", "SWEETS: Well he said (using air quotes) \"in love\" very sarcastically like it was something that happened to (using air quotes) \"lower primates.\"", "BOOTH: Okay. Who else was he sleeping with?", "SWEETS: I didn't ask.", "BRENNAN: What does that matter?", "BOOTH: Because maybe not everybody is so (using air quotes) \"adult\" or (using air quotes) \"rational\" or hey, (using air quotes) \"clear thinking.\" Or (using air quotes) \"heartless\" as him. (He leaves the observation room to go interrogate Beaudette again)", "SWEETS: That was a lot of quotation marks.", "(Booth enters the interrogation room)", "BOOTH: So, sexual relationships are pretty casual over there at the Collar Institute, right?", "BEAUDETTE: We're young, close-quarters. We stimulate each other.", "BOOTH: Mmmm. Who else were you sleeping with?", "BEAUDETTE: Jennifer. Who was also seeing Milton.", "BOOTH: So is it possible that Jennifer was trying to get rid of a romantic rival?", "BEAUDETTE: By that retrograde manner of thought, Landis could have killed Diane for sleeping with me. Or I could have killed Diane for sleeping with Landis. Or Miltion could have killed Diane for sleeping with me and Landis.", "(Medico-Legal Lab)", "(Hodgins and Vincent are about to perform an experiment. All the scientists are watching)", "HODGINS: Ladies and gentleman. What I propose to show you today is how our victim's skeletal structure came to shatter into tiny bits. Mr. Nigel-Murray. (both men place their protective masks down)", "CAM: (to Angela on the floor) He enjoys this way too much.", "ANGELA: Basically, Hodgins sees himself as Dr. Nemo.", "HODGINS: (pulling out a turkey from a freezer) Liquid nitrogen freezes at 63 degrees Kelvin which is -210 degrees Celsius or -346 degrees Farenheit.", "VINCENT: It's unnecessary to say degrees Celsius. It's implicit.", "HODGINS: Shhh. (taking the turkey from Vincent) When I drop this super cold turkey.", "VINCENT: Once again, technically not super cold.", "HODGINS: (ignoring him) It will shatter into hundreds of bits on the concrete floor. (Cam and Angela back up a few steps) Shards are going to fly in every direction so...ready? 3...2...1...", "(Hodgins drops the turkey where it bounces and comes flying towards Cam and Angela. Cam moves out of the way fast enough but Angela is too slows. She gets hit by the flying bird in the eye. The bird crashes behind her and Cam immediately checks to see if she's alright. Hodgins races to the stairs to climb down the upper platform.)", "ANGELA: It's just a glancing blow.", "(FBI Interrogation Room)", "(Sweets and Brennan are in the room with a Asian man)", "SWEETS: Dr. Lance Sweets. I work for the FBI as a psychological profiler.", "MAN: Psychiatrist or psychologist?", "BRENNAN: He's just a psychologist.", "SWEETS: Uhh, the point is I looked through over 800 threats made against Dr. Diane Sidman. You, Dr. Mullins, are the only person I thought merited questioning.", "MULLINS: Using psychology?", "SWEETS: That's correct.", "(Mullins gives a short laugh and smirks, glancing towards Brennan)", "MULLINS: You might as well picked my name from a hat.", "BRENNAN: Normally, I'd agree but your disapproval of Dr. Sidman's work makes me wonder if you're a religious fanatic.", "MULLINS: No. Like most reasonable human beings, I'm an agnostic.", "SWEETS: You have a doctorate in physics from Princeton, right? Yet, you work as a welder?", "MULLINS: Welding is a real job. Unlike...psychology.", "BRENNAN: How can a reasonable human being with a physics degree honestly believe that a particle accelerator in Europe is going to create a black hole which will destroy the solar system.", "MULLINS: Would you like a list of Nobel Laureates who agree with me? The odds are 1 in 50 million. Slight, I admit. Too high when you not only consider the loss of humanity but the only planet in the cosmos that we know for certain is capable of generating and sustaining life.", "SWEETS: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (to Brennan) Um, I hate to say it but I'm totally with him on this one.", "BRENNAN: Would you kill someone on 50 million to 1 odds?", "MULLINS: Kill someone? Who's dead?", "BRENNAN: Diane Sidman.", "SWEETS: Of the 800 threats I studied, 106 of them were from you.", "BRENNAN: Evidence indicates that Diane Sidman was frozen using liquid nitrogen after she was killed.", "SWEETS: Then her body was dropped and shattered.", "MULLINS: (laughing) Ridiculous. A frozen cadaver would simply bounce. (to Sweets) Any moron should know that.", "BRENNAN: The point is, as a welder you have access to liquid nitrogen.", "MULLINS: My IQ is 162.", "SWEETS: What about it?", "MULLINS: I'm smart enough to know when to shut up and ask for a lawyer. Except I've got one last thing to say. Knowing that Diane Sidman is dead, I'm going to sleep about 50 million times better tonight.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Medico-Legal Lab - Cam's Office/Autopsy Room)", "(Cam is on the computer. Brennan enters hurriedly)", "BRENNAN: I got here as soon as I could. What's up?", "CAM: Lab results, from the CBC and biopsy on our victim.", "BRENNAN: Abnormal proliferation of leukocytes in the thoracic and lumbar bone marrow.", "CAM: These numbers are fatal.", "BRENNAN: She died of leukemia?", "CAM: Diane Sidman had a full physical two weeks ago. Guess what? (Brennan shrugs) Clean bill of health.", "BRENNAN: How does a perfectly healthy young woman develop advanced leukemia in two weeks?", "(The Royal Diner)", "(Sweets, Hodgins and VINCENT are eating)", "VINCENT: Leukemia doesn't just appear in two weeks.", "SWEETS: What about radiation?", "HODGINS: There's gotta be some source of radiation in that place to cause cancer. Someone accidentally irradiates this poor woman and then covers it up by freezing her and smashing her remains into little...bits. (Hodgins looks out the window and sees Angela's dad)", "SWEETS: You know, ironically, intelligent people are known to commit murder in ludicrously complicated ways, virtually insuring their capture. (Sweets turns to see what Hodgins is staring at) Isnt' that... HODGINS: It's...uh...Angela's dad.", "(Vincent leans over to see. Angela's dad points at Hodgins in a threateningly manner)", "VINCENT: It's not uncommon for men to fear that a lover's male parent.", "HODGINS: You know what creeps me out? You know that way English people say lovah.", "SWEETS: You know attacking Vincent like that clearly indicates that what he said is true.", "HODGINS: The man is from Texas. He told me that if I messed up...uh, I don't remember what he said exactly but he mentioned the key G-demolish and it sounded pretty bad.", "VINCENT: The blues is known as the devil's music because those most adept are thought to have made a pact with the devil and thus fear no earthly law because they're already doomed to eternity in hell.", "SWEETS: Harsh.", "HODGINS: Thank you, Vincent. I feel much better now.", "SWEETS: I happened to have a great deal of insight into the whole blues culture. I could talk to him for you.", "HODGINS: (he looks out the window again.) Uh thanks. But, uh, too late. (Angela's dad is gone)", "(Medico-Legal Lab: The bone room)", "(Brennan is there inspecting the bones. Cam enters)", "CAM: Have you found something?", "BRENNAN: Posterior of the T7. (she shows Cam the bone)", "CAM: Looks very smooth.", "BRENNAN: This indentation could very well be the result of a tumor.", "CAM: A possible source of Diane Sidman's leukemia.", "BRENNAN: A tumor this size over two weeks would require a radiation source of between 1000 and 5000 REMs.", "CAM: And that would have burned the victim. We would have seen that.", "BRENNAN: It must have been a steady exposure over time.", "CAM: The woman spent almost all her time at work.", "(Collar Institute - Diane Sidman's work area)", "(Brennan and Booth are in blue hazmat suits with masks behind one of the work boards. Techs are tracing the place for signs of radiation. One tech comes to Booth and Brennan and removes his mask)", "TECH: Everything's coming up clean.", "BOOTH: Nothing?", "TECH: Nope. (Booth and Brennan come into the main area)", "BRENNAN: There should still be some evidence of radioactivity.", "TECH: There's nothing radioactive in this room. (he shrugs and walks away)", "(Brennan and Booth take off their masks. Booth sits in the chair)", "BOOTH: God, I don't know how you wear these things. (Brennan sees something on the chair. She walks to him) Hot suits.", "BRENNAN: Woah.", "BOOTH: What?", "(Breannan sees a spot on the chair. She matches it to where it would touch Booth's spine. Booth has no idea what's going on)", "BOOTH: Ooh, right. There. (She leans him back in the chair) What are you doing, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Well this stain here must have hit Diane Sidman almost exactly where the tumor formed.", "BOOTH: (leaping out of the chair) You're testing me on the cancer chair?", "BRENNAN: What? You're wearing a suit plus it's not radioactive anymore. We're going to need to take this chair.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, no. You don't just go around doing human testing on people, Bones. I got to go to the bathroom. (he turns and runs out)", "BRENNAN: Well I touched it with my bare hands. See? (she touches and then looks to the door shrugging her arms.)", "(Medico-Legal Lab: The bone room)", "(VINCENT is staring at the bones. Cam enters)", "VINCENT: You may be wondering why I'm going through these bones again.", "CAM: Probably because you feel bad that Dr. Brennan found evidence of a tumor that you missed?", "VINCENT: The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.", "CAM: So she said hopefully, metaphorically you're looking for insect legs?", "VINCENT: And I may have found some. These cylindrical notches on the left clavicle. (He pulls up an image on the monitor) See?", "CAM: Two of them, yes.", "VINCENT: They may be stab wounds.", "CAM: Okay. I'll have Dr. Hodgines check them for microscopic particulates, if he hasn't lit out for Timbuktu yet.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins' workstation)", "(Hodgins is presenting his findings on the chair to Brennan)", "HODGINS: The discoloration in the fabric was not radioactive but because of your suspicion I tested for daughter isotopes.", "BRENNAN: Daughter isotopes?", "HODGINS: Daughter isotopes are what's left behind after radioactive isotopes decay.", "BRENNAN: So there was a radioactive isotope on Diane Sidman's chair.", "HODGINS: Yeah. A strong one. Is anyone at that place doing cancer research?", "BRENNAN: No. It's not that kind of place.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Right. \"To eternity. To glory. To the future\" (he scoffs)", "BRENNAN: You disapprove of the Collar Institute?", "HODGINS: Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. You taught me that.", "BRENNAN: I did?", "HODGINS: Every day.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. (she smiles and walks away)", "(the Collar Institute: at the bottom of a stairwell leading to a lab)", "(Booth and Brennan are approaching the lab door. There are passionate moans and screams from a woman coming from inside. Booth pulls out his gun)", "BOOTH: Get to the door.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Just get the door.", "BRENNAN: What? Now?", "(Brennan reaches and opens it. Booth enters, gun ready. The noises were coming from Jennifer and Milton who have just finished having s*x. They turn and look to Booth and Brennan)", "BOOTH: You've got to be kidding me. It's like ClubMed Mensa around here. (He turns to leave. Brennan follows, stifling a laugh) What are you laughing at?", "(Milton kisses Jennifer. They go back to their business)", "(The Collar Institute: The hallway outside Jennifer's office)", "(Brennan is pacing while Booth sits against the wall.)", "BOOTH: You know, most people you bust in on having s*x with a gun, you know, (he whistles) it kinda disrupts the mood.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps they decided to start all over again from the beginning (she leans against the wall and slides down into a sitting position next to Booth. She laughs and Booth looks away, embarrassed) It's just s*x Booth.", "BOOTH: It's not that. Look, I'm not a prude.", "BRENNAN: Well...you have what they would call hang ups.", "BOOTH: (looks around to make sure no one is around.) You know that guy Landis?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: He's about to make a move on you.", "BRENNAN: (she shakes her head) How do you know?", "BOOTH: Because it is the rational and smart thing to do and he is all about that. I see how he looks at you.", "BRENNAN: How he looks at me? He's blind.", "BOOTH: It's too literal, Bones. His fiancé was just murdered and he's already moving on.", "BRENNAN: Well she's gone. He has accepted it.", "BOOTH: Look, good people. They leave marks on each other. The least we could do is let them fade away naturally, not you know, scrape them off, or paint over them with new marks.", "BRENNAN: So you're not a prude?", "BOOTH: (laughs) Moi? Hey, I am a very fun and (he stands and does a little dance) very sexy guy. (Brennan laughs) That's right.", "BRENNAN: (standing) So you just think that if two people care about each other they leave metaphorical marks which should be allowed to fade naturally?", "BOOTH: You heard me but you just didn't understand me.", "BRENNAN: Ya, I wonder that about you call the time. (Booth looks at her quizzically)", "(Jennifer exits her office and walks towards her disrupting the moment)", "JENNIFER: My apologies. Were you looking for me?", "BRENNAN: We need to see your radioactive isotopes. (Milton comes out of the office)", "BOOTH: Hey, how you doing there, pal? Did you knock one out of the park?", "MILTON: I'll be off then, Jennifer JENNIFER: Good-bye, Milton. Thank you very much.", "MILTON: You're more than welcome. (he climbs the stairs to leave)", "(Collar Institute: Jennifer's office)", "(Jennifer is leading Booth and Brennan to the isotope storage wall)", "BOOTH: Thank you, Milton. No, thank you, Jennifer. They're so polite here except for the murder and cheating.", "BRENNAN: We can get a warrant for the isotopes if that's what you require.", "JENNIFER: (putting on gloves) That won't be necessary. I don't know what use you could have with these. I haven't used them for months. (She removes a tray and stares at it. Two bottles are missing)", "BRENNAN: Something wrong?", "JENNIFER: (looking very confused) Some of my vials are missing.", "BOOTH: Hmmm?", "BRENNAN: We'll need to know how many people aside from yourself had access to them in the last month.", "JENNIFER: Everyone in the institute had access. Everyone.", "(A street corner)", "(Angela's dad is playing guitar and spectators are watching and dropping money in his case. Sweets approaches and listens for a bit.)", "SWEETS: This guy's good.", "SPECTATOR: Hell yes.", "(Angela's dad finishes the song and everyone claps and cheers. They throw money down and head off. Sweet's approaches Angela's father.)", "SWEETS: Why would a guy like you play on a street corner?", "ANGELA'S DAD: Well I guess that would depend on who exactly you think I am.", "SWEETS: I'd like to speak with you about Hodgins.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Uh-huh.", "SWEETS: I'd like to help.", "ANGELA'S DAD: No thanks, son. I can handle Hodgins all on my own.", "SWEETS: Oh, no. I mean I'd like to help with the situation. See, I'm a psychologist. It's kinda my mojo.", "ANGELA'S DAD: You misunderstand the term. (He begins to play another song)", "SWEETS: (touching Angela's dad's shoulder) What I meant was... (he glares at Sweets. Sweets removes his arm. They stare at each other and Angela's dad begins to play again. Sweets walks away a little scared.)", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Angela's office)", "(Angela is showing 3D graphics of the bones and Diane on the computer to Cam and Vincent)", "ANGELA: Vincent pointed out that each break appears to have happened at the weakest part in each bone.", "VINCENT: X-rays permeate on that. The most damage was done to the weakest bones. The anvil, the hyoid, these points on the spine.", "CAM: I don't get what that means.", "VINCENT: Essentially the skeleton broke apart at the weakest points.", "ANGELA: The way a building would fall apart during an earthquake.", "CAM: The victim was killed, we're not positive how yet, then frozen then shaken until all the bones fell apart?", "BRENNAN: (having just entered the room) Not shaken. Vibrated. Vibrated until the frozen bones shattered like crystal.", "(Angela plays the shattering scenario on her computer with the bones breaking at the weakest points)", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins' platform)", "(Hodgins is looking through a microscope. Sweets comes up)", "SWEETS: Hodgins!", "HODGINS: (jumps) Don't sneak up like that. I could put out an eye on my microscope.", "SWEETS: You got to run.", "HODGINS: You talked to Angela's father?", "ANGELA: (running to them) Oh god. Well what did he say?", "SWEETS: I have no idea. But he's very...he's got a very disturbing effect. Sinister.", "HODGINS: I am not scared of him.", "SWEETS: Okay. Okay, you know that whole...that whole sell your soul at the crossroads thing? I'm buying it. (Hodgins shakes his head) You got to run for it man.", "ANGELA: I told you so. (she leaves)", "SWEETS: Yeah. Hey, you know what? I secretly had a thing for Angela (Hodgins looks up) Now. It's gone. Like wiped from the memory banks. (Hodgins looks at Sweets. Sweets walks away but does one last glance back.)", "(Booth's Car)", "BOOTH: So it had to be Milton Alvaredo, right?", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: He's the one who's working on transporting matter through vibrations, right?", "BRENNAN: (impressed) You understood that?", "BOOTH: Hey... He kills Dr. Sidman, flash freezes her and then tries to transport her to outer space, the moon, whatever. And ends up with frozen chili con carne.", "BRENNAN: I'm very impressed, Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well I've learned a lot from you. (looks away and then quietly says) And a lot from watching the Discovery Channel with Parker.", "BRENNAN: Milton Alvaredo is not our only suspect.", "BOOTH: Jennifer Keating. Well I mean her only motive is revenge and like you said, that's just not logical. And despite her being, you know, a...s*x kitten scientist, she's still logical.", "BRENNAN: No, not Jennifer Keating. Christ Beaudette. His project concerns extracting energy from earthquakes.", "BOOTH: Ohhh BRENNAN: Plus Dr. Collar's working on echo location for the blind.", "BOOTH: So basically we're back to square one.", "BRENNAN: I suggest we find an apparatus capable of shattering a flash frozen human cadaver.", "BOOTH: Apparatus... (he looks confused)", "BRENNAN: Yup.", "BOOTH: Right. Gotcha.", "(Collar Institute: A experimentation lab)", "(Booth and Brennan enter)", "BOOTH: Hello? Dr. Earthquake? (no one responds) Okay, so tell me what I'm looking for.", "BRENNAN: Any apparatus that might facilitate the creation of a sonic standing wave.", "BOOTH: (leaning against a large silver container) Right. Tell me what I'm looking for again.", "BRENNAN: (turns and looks at where he is. She sees the container and points) You're leaning on it.", "BOOTH: Right, I knew that (he turns to open it up) Look at this. (he opens the heavy door) Right, I'll just get forensics to uh, look for blood.", "BRENNAN: (inside the container) No, there won't be any blood. The remains were frozen solid by this point. (Booth steps inside) The natural frequency of the human body is between 3 and 7 hertz.", "BOOTH: Humans have natural frequencies?", "BRENNAN: Naturally that would increase dramatically if the body was subject to (someone slams the door shut locking them in)", "BOOTH: Woah. (he slams against the door trying to open it) Hey.", "BRENNAN: (screaming) Forget it, Booth. We're in a high pressure chamber. That door can withstand the force of at least... (the chamber makes a noise as if turning on) Oh no.", "BOOTH: Oh no. What oh no?", "BRENNAN: (scared) We have to get out of here.", "BOOTH: We have to get out of here or what, we'll explode?", "(An extremely high pitched noise starts forcing Booth and Brennan to grab their heads in pain. They scream and lean against the wall)", "BRENNAN: Booth, what we have to do here is we have to try to counter...counteract the wavelengths.", "BOOTH: The what?", "(Brennan begins screaming a really high pitched noise. Booth emulates.)", "BOOTH: It's not working.", "BRENNAN: If we stop our brains will turn to pudding.", "(They begin making siren noises again. They can't keep it up for long and they fall to the floor. Right before passing out, Booth grabs his gun and shoots at the window in the door.)", "(Collar Institute: Experiment Room)", "(Brennan comes over Booth who is passed out on the floor outside the chamber. She is yelling very loudly)", "BRENNAN: Booth? Hello? (he wakes up) Booth, are you okay? (he stares at her confused) Are you alright? Can you hear me?", "BOOTH: (shouting) What?", "BRENNAN: (shouting) Are you alright?", "BOOTH: (shouting) I'm alright. How about you? (he moans and feels his head)", "COLLAR: I called the paramedics, they should be here any second.", "BRENNAN: (still screaming and helping Booth to stand) Landis pulled us out.", "COLLAR: I heard shots.", "BOOTH: (shouting) Woah.", "BRENNAN: (shouting) Booth, are you okay?", "BOOTH: (shouting) It was my shooting that saved our lives.", "COLLAR: You should have been dead in 5-7 seconds BOOTH: (shouting) Bones, it was my gun.", "BRENNAN: (interrupting Booth, still shouting) My sonic interference idea worked.", "BOOTH: (shouting) It wasn't your siren.", "BRENNAN: (shouting) Can you hear me? (Booth moans and holds his hand to his head)", "BOOTH: (shouting) Bones, it was my gun.", "BRENNAN: (shouting) If I hadn't started my interference we'd be dead before you started shooting.", "COLLAR: You two might want to try resting before communicating. I don't need to be deaf as well as blind.", "BOOTH: (shouting) What?", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins's workstation)", "(Hodgins and Vincent are looking at a picture of the clavicle on the computer)", "HODGINS: Alright, now this notch you found in the clavicle?", "VINCENT: Yeah?", "HODGINS: I found minute traces of graphite, clay and co-polymer.", "VINCENT: Pencil lead? Which of course is not lead at all. (Hodgins glares at him) Uh, is that even possible?", "HODGINS: (takes pencil out of Vincent's pocket to demonstrate with) Alright. Say a fairly heavy mechanical pencil, right? (demonstrating violently) To the windpipe, or the carotid. Victim dies, is deep frozen and then shattered.", "VINCENT: Uh, the freeze dried chunks are swept into garbage bags and dumped for birds to eat.", "HODGINS: Hmmm.", "(Hodgins hands Vincent is pencil back. Vincent jumps)", "VINCENT: Ooooh. (laughs) No. No. Please, you keep it. I don't think I could ever regard it again since...(pantomimes the stabbing motion. Then pats Hodgins on the shoulder) Thank you very much. (he walks away)", "(The Royal Diner)", "(Angela and her father are eating)", "ANGELA'S DAD: I warned the man, Angie. I told him that if he hurt you he would have me to contend with.", "ANGELA: Did you take off your glasses when you said it?", "ANGELA'S DAD: (laughs and removes sunglasses) I definitely did.", "ANGELA: It was a mutual break-up.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Were you hurt?", "ANGELA: (shakes her head) Dad... ANGELA'S DAD: Could he have stopped it?", "ANGELA: Yeah...Yeah...But so could I.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Well, his daddy can come down...and kick your ass. (she laughs) I can't do everybody's job.", "ANGELA: I wish you wouldn't.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Okay, sweet girl. I will ameliorate my vengeful intentions.", "ANGELA: Ameliorate? (she shakes her head) Honest?", "ANGELA'S DAD: (nodding his head) Honest. Honest as a Texas sundown. (He puts his glasses back on)", "(FBI Interrogation Room)", "(Booth, Brennan and Sweets are there interrogating Milton, Collar, ad Beaudette)", "BRENNAN: One of you killed Diane Sidman.", "BOOTH: And tried to kill us.", "SWEETS: I think we can rule out sexual jealousy as a motive for this murder.", "ALL 3 SUSPECTS: Of course we can.", "BRENNAN: Yea, of course we can.", "BOOTH: Woah, wait a second why? Because these robots don't feel like humans?", "SWEETS: No. Because radiation poisoning is the opposite of a crime of passion.", "BRENNAN: Well my people say that Diane Sidman was stabbed to death with a pencil.", "SWEETS: Well indicating that the murderer suddenly became impatient or approached a deadline. If you figure out that deadline, you'll figure out your murderer.", "BRENNAN: Well it has to be the publishing deadline from the Journal.", "BOOTH: (showing pictures of the chamber to the suspects) Look at this, huh? We found blood in your resonance chamber. (to Collar) Obviously you can't see that but it's right there.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to the first picture) That's not blood. (pointing to the second picture) That's not blood.", "BOOTH: (behind his hand to Brennan only) Luminol means blood.", "BRENNAN: (at a whisper) There's no evidence of smearing)", "SWEETS: If the murderer had seen blood he would have cleaned it up.", "COLLAR: Luminol reacts with copper, iron, peroxides and cyanide.", "BEAUDETTE: Which provides for a number of false positives: vegetables, fruit pulp... MILTON: Cleaning agents, insecticides... BRENNAN: Various glues, rust remover, ketchup, seaweed, sap, algae.", "SWEETS: Is this luminal stuff every useful? (Brennan gives him a look) I'm just asking because...yes, it is. (Brennan nods) Fine, I'll shut up.", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Luminol reacts with pond scum.", "BOOTH: So? (Brennan glances at Milton) Right...Right. Pond scum Scotty. You're our guy. You're under arrest. Knew it all along. Let's go. Come on. Up. (Collar stands and walks over to punch Milton. By accident he hits Booth) Ahh. God. Ow.", "COLLAR: That's for killing my fiancé.", "BRENNAN: One person to your left, Dr. Collar.", "(Collar faces Milton, pauses, then punches him)", "COLLAR: My apologies, Agent Booth. My echo locater must have malfunctioned. (Booth stands to cuff Milton. Collar turns and walks towards Brennan) This may not be the most apropos time, but... BOOTH: Oh, here we go!", "SWEETS: Here we go, what? (Booth motions towards Collar and Brennan)", "COLLAR: I was wondering...could I have your phone number?", "SWEETS: Wow.", "BOOTH: Told ya.", "SWEETS: Really?", "BRENNAN: I have been considering how to respond if you asked and have decided upon, \"No.\" (Collar looks a little shocked)", "BOOTH: Oh.", "BEAUDETTE: (standing) I can go right?", "BOOTH: (opening the door) Yup.", "BEAUDETTE: Cause I have some actual save-the-world work to do. Dr. Collar. (Collar takes his hand and follows Beaudette out the door)", "(Booth takes Milton and begins to lead him out. He moans in pain a little from being punched)", "BRENNAN: You okay? (she holds his chin to inspect his face)", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm alright. You know you're the only smart person I really like.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. (they begin to leave)", "SWEETS: Oh, that's...what about...what about me? (Booth slams the door without responding)", "(The Founding Fathers)", "(Booth and Brennan are at the bar)", "BRENNAN: So Diane Sidman agreed to publish Milton Alvaredo only if he shared credit with her.", "BOOTH: Right, so she said that he was using his theories about that God particles... BRENNAN: Particle. There's only one.", "BOOTH: Right. Particle to vibrate the pond scum.", "BRENNAN: He gives her cancer, but she lives too long.", "BOOTH: Wow. Then he kills her with a pencil and feeds her to crows so he doesn't have to share a credit. Wow, that is cold.", "BRENNAN: And creepy? (Booth looks at her)", "BOOTH: I didn't mean to call you creepy.", "BRENNAN: You said I have a creepy mode.", "BOOTH: I apologize. Okay, look, I wasn't in my element.", "BRENNAN: What? Every element is your element.", "BOOTH: No, that is not true. Okay, listen. (he pauses) We just got to stop hanging out with geniuses because you're going to figure out that I'm really stupid.", "BRENNAN: What? Don't worry about that. I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.", "BOOTH: (thinks about that for a sec) Hmmm BRENNAN: What I just said is true and yet it really sounded wrong. What I should say is I don't care how stupid you are. (Booth doesn't say anything) It's not any better?", "BOOTH: No. No. Not at all.", "(Vincent, Sweets and Angela all come into the bar and sit around Booth and Brennan)", "BRENNAN: Well, there is intelligence that I have and Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "VINCENT: Oh, thank you.", "BRENNAN: And...Sweets...even though his is so misdirected as to be meaningless.", "BOOTH: Right.", "SWEETS: Wow, back hand full of knuckles with that compliment.", "BRENNAN: And Hodgins, and Angela...not so much but she's very talented.", "ANGELA: (sarcastically) Thank you...very much.", "BRENNAN: (not picking up on the sarcasm) You're welcome. But then there's another quality which is the ability to use intelligence. That is what you have.", "BOOTH: (he thinks about that and then smiles) Thanks, Bones. (they have a moment)", "ANGELA: Hey, wait a minute. Speaking of Hodgins...has anybody seen Hodgins? (they all shake their heads) Oh God.", "(the desert)", "(Hodgins wakes up. His upper left arm is bandaged. He is in pain. He looks down and takes off the gauze pad. There is a tattoo of Angela's head with the words \"Angie Forever\" below. He lays back and sighs as crows fly overhead.)" ]

[ "When an image of the Virgin Mary turns out to be a bloodstain at a cardboard recycling plant Booth and Bones find a flattened body inside a compressed bale of cardboard. The line of suspects grows longer when the team discovers that the marriage-obsessed young woman had a fiancé as well as numerous boyfriends from a cell-phone dating service. Booth and Bones must break the news to Sweets when they see his girlfriend Daisy trying on a wedding dress with another man, and Angela and Hodgins come to terms with their relationship." ]

[ "\"The Cinderella in the Cardboard\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "[OPEN: INT. GARBAGE DUMP - DAY. Two workers, JUAN and BARNEY, are standing around, about to move packed cardboard.]", "JUAN: Hey, who's the new guy?", "BARNEY: That's not a guy. (turns to female worker, whistles) Hey, baby! (to JUAN) I swear to God, I'd give my left cajone to take her for a spin.", "JUAN: Hey, the Lord is not pleased with lustful thoughts, man.", "BARNEY: Hey, He put her here. If He wants me to keep it in my pants, tell Him to send me a sign.", "[JUAN and BARNEY pull a block of packed cardboard, turning it to its side.]", "JUAN: Holy Mary, Mother of God.", "BARNEY: (kneeling down) It's the Blessed Virgin. Please forgive me.", "[JUAN makes a sign of the cross while BARNEY dials a number on his cell phone.]", "JUAN: (into phone) Mama! Llame al padre Fisher, digale que miré la bendita Virgen; aqui en el trabajo. Si, es un milagro mama. Es un milagro! [Translation: Call Father Fisher, tell him that I saw the Blessed Virgin; here at work. Yes, it's a miracle, Mom. It's a miracle!]", "[CUT TO: INT. GARBAGE DUMP - DAY. Police tape is surrounding the scene. Curious workers are observing. Enter BOOTH, BRENNAN, and CAM.]", "BOOTH : All right, let's go everybody. Move back. Hello? FBI. Watch out. Excuse me. Watch out. You folks clear a path, please. (ducks under police tape) Thank you, let's go.", "POLICE OFFICER: Folks, I'm gonna ask you to please stay back. This is an active crime scene.", "BOOTH: Whoa. (makes a sign of the cross) Oh, my God. It's the Virgin Mary.", "CAM: Have you googled the grilled cheese Jesus? 'Cause that was just a faulty griddle.", "BRENNAN: We're here because someone suspected a crime, Booth.", "BOOTH: Oh, I'm just saying, life is a lot more than what you can cook up in your chemistry sets. Miracles do happen.", "BRENNAN: Well, religious visions are nothing but pareidolia, random stimulus being perceived as significant.", "BOOTH: Oh yeah, did you ever hear of the Shroud of Turin, Dr. Burn-In-Hell?", "CAM: Sorry, big guy. That was debunked 20 years ago. Carbon dating doesn't lie.", "BRENNAN: Neither does phenolphthalein. (holds up pink cotton pad) This was not a miracle. It's dried blood.", "BOOTH: Oh, all right. Let's get this bale of hay down. Come on.", "[Two police officers begin moving the packed cardboard.]", "BOOTH: All right, here we go. Don't got all day. There you go.", "[BOOTH cuts the wiring attaching the cardboard together.]", "CAM: All right. Let's do it.", "[BOOTH, BRENNAN, and CAM begin moving the cardboard. A few layers down, a dead body is revealed.]", "BRENNAN: Careful.", "BOOTH: Whoa! Okay. Okay, I'm going to give you this one. Maybe it's not a miracle.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. BRENNAN, CAM, and WENDELL are examining the body.]", "BRENNAN: The fractures I can see are consistent with the baling machine.", "CAM: Based on lack of hemorrhagic tissue, she was dead before ending up on the baler.", "BRENNAN: Can we remove her from the cardboard?", "CAM: Not until she's completely processed. I don't even know how I'm going to tox her. The cardboard soaked up most of her bodily fluids.", "WENDELL: Her blouse looks like it's got patches of glaze on it.", "BRENNAN: Could be extruded body fat.", "CAM: Ooh, hello, maggots. Maybe Hodgins can use these little devils to give us time of death.", "WENDELL: The second joints of the victim's middle toes have been shaved. I think she was tortured.", "BRENNAN: (examining the toes) No. The victim had her toes surgically shortened.", "WENDELL: On purpose?", "CAM: For vanity. Women love shoes.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BOOTH'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN and BOOTH are speaking to DR. MARCUS SCHEER, the victim's plastic surgeon.]", "SCHEER: Like I said on the phone, this is definitely my patient. I remember I threw in a toe tuck for free.", "BOOTH: A toe tuck?", "SCHEER: What can I say? Toes are the new nose.", "BRENNAN: The Board of Plastic Surgeons hasn't approved this for elective surgery.", "SCHEER: They haven't condemned it either.", "BOOTH: Right, okay. So, who's our girl?", "SCHEER: Oh, um, Meriel Mitsakos. She wanted the surgery 'cause she was getting married. Had her eye on a pair of Christian Louboutin sandals, but her middle toes stuck out. I said it was an easy fix.", "BOOTH: What, you cut her toe off, so she could fit into a pair of shoes?", "BRENNAN: Self-mutilation for an antiquated ritual. It's barbaric.", "BOOTH: Well, come on, marriage is very important to a lot of people, Bones.", "BRENNAN: It's ridiculous. No one can guarantee how they're going to feel about someone for life. We're not a monogamous species.", "BOOTH: Marriage has been around since the beginning of time.", "BRENNAN: Women from Amazonian tribes expressed their love by spitting in their partners' faces. I hope we've progressed past that.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, you know what? Sometimes love trumps logic.", "BRENNAN: Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married.", "BOOTH: Never say never.", "BRENNAN: That's a paradox. It makes no sense.", "SCHEER: Am I still needed here? Because if you two are having relationship issues... BRENNAN: (grimacing) We're not a couple.", "BOOTH: We just work together, that's all.", "[Uncomfortable looks are exchanged.]", "BRENNAN: Merial Mitsakos was murdered.", "BOOTH: And as of now, you're the only one we know who's taken a knife to her.", "OPENING CREDITS", "[CUT TO: FBI BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is asking the victim's fiancé, BOB CAVERLY, and the victim's best friend, GENIE GORMON.]", "CAVERLY: Meriel wanted everything to be perfect for our wedding.", "BOOTH: Including her feet?", "CAVERLY: I told her I loved her just the way she was, but that... that doctor made her... feel like her feet were unsightly. You checked him out, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah. He was in Europe at the time of Meriel's murder.", "GENIE: Meriel was my oldest friend. I was going to be her maid of honor. She asked me in tenth grade.", "BOOTH: Why would Meriel plan a wedding if she didn't have a groom?", "GENIE: You had to know her. Meriel got everything that she wanted. And all she ever wanted was to be a bride.", "CAVERLY: But don't misunderstand. We loved each other very much.", "BOOTH: Listen, Mike, when was the last time you saw her?", "CAVERLY: Four days ago. About 2:00. We had a... wedding cake tasting.", "BOOTH: I don't want to come off as sounding offensive, but do you think maybe she got cold feet?", "CAVERLY: We were in love. All we wanted... was each other.", "BOOTH: I'm very sorry for your loss.", "GENIE: Just find out who did this to Meriel.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. WENDELL is pulling a fluoroscopy machine over the body. Enter ANGELA.]", "ANGELA: Where did this come from?", "WENDELL: The Egyptology department.", "ANGELA: They let you borrow it?", "WENDELL: Oh, well, no one was using it.", "ANGELA: Tell me you're kidding.", "WENDELL: No. I left a note.", "[ANGELA chuckles in disbelief.]", "WENDELL: Uh, well, Dr. Saroyan won't let me take the victim off the cardboard, and Dr. Brennan's going to kill me if I don't get her complete X-rays, right?", "ANGELA: Wendell, you cannot just take a-", "WENDELL: Fluoroscopy machine. I've always wanted to use one, and this is the perfect opportunity.", "[Enter CAM.]", "CAM: I just got a call from Ethan Lawrence in Egyptology. Something about a Post-it note where his fluoroscopy machine used to be.", "WENDELL: Oh, um, well, their victims have been dead for thousands of years. There's very little chance of catching the perpetrators. I figured it was a priority thing, right?", "CAM: No, really it's more of a firing and arrest thing. Did you really think for one minute-", "WENDELL: I found something! Looks important. Very important. Would have gone unnoticed without the, uh, fluoroscopy. (looks at CAM) I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you, Dr. Saroyan?", "ANGELA: Oh-ho-ho, he's good.", "CAM: Just show me.", "[WENDELL zooms in to the pelvic bone.]", "CAM: Something embedded in the anterior superior iliac spine.", "[CAM uses tweezers to remove something from the body.]", "WENDELL: What is it?", "CAM: A straight pin.", "ANGELA: Right. Dead bride wearing a strapless bra, plus a straight pin. She must have had a bridal gown fitting right before she died.", "[CUT TO: SOME BRIDAL PLACE - DAY. Shoppers are checking out bridal gowns. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, according to her maid of honor, this is where she ordered her dress.", "[Enter LUCIA BERTOLINO, manager of the store. She is pushing a rack of gowns.]", "LUCIA: Size six, coming through!", "[A hoard of women begins scrambling toward the rack, running into BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "BOOTH: Ow, ow. Ladies, watch the toes. Man, these women are crazy.", "BRENNAN: Well, you know how I feel about weddings.", "BOOTH: Yeah, what's happening here is definitely not about love.", "LUCIA: Hello. (looks BRENNAN up and down) Ah, you're beautiful. (pointing) Your size is on that rack.", "BOOTH: Oh, no, we're not looking for a dress.", "BRENNAN: No, never. Ever. Ever.", "LUCIA: Oh, cold feet. You'll get over it. You two are obviously meant for each other.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN look at each other and chuckle awkwardly.]", "BRENNAN: No... BOOTH: We're, uh, looking for the manager.", "LUCIA: I'm Lucia Bertolino. Is there a problem?", "BOOTH: I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth. (flashes badge) This here is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan.", "BRENNAN: (points to a bouquet of flowers in a glass case) How are these treated?", "LUCIA: We dip them in glycerin. They're free-dried. They last forever.", "BOOTH: I'm sure they do. Listen, we're investigating a murder. We believe the victim was here getting a bridal fitting shortly before she was killed. Uh, a Meriel Mitsakos.", "LUCIA: Oh. Hard to forget Miss Mitsakos. She had a fight with Anya, our best bridal consultant. She was screaming at her, and calling her incompetent.", "BOOTH: Right. Is Anya here today, working?", "LUCIA: Actually, I had to let her go. Anya slapped her. Miss Mitsakos threatened to sue. I didn't have a choice.", "BOOTH: Did Anya show any other signs of violence?", "BRENNAN: Was she dealing with something else in her life?", "LUCIA: Oh, this place was her life.", "BOOTH: Well, I'm going to need her contact information.", "LUCIA: Oh, Anya couldn't kill anyone.", "BRENNAN: Well, had she ever slapped anyone before?", "LUCIA: (realizing) Let me get it for you.", "BOOTH: Thank you.", "[Exit LUCIA.]", "BOOTH: (reaching for a gown) Oh, come on, Bones, huh? (picks up a gown) You must've dreamt about being a bride before your heart turned to stone.", "[A shopper plucks the dress out of BOOTH's hands.]", "BRENNAN: Just because I don't want to take part in a meaningless ritual doesn't mean that I'm not a warm and affectionate person. There are even some children who have taken to me.", "[BOOTH looks over to see DAISY WICK standing on a platform, trying on a dress. An unknown man is standing in front of her.]", "DAISY: Oh, my God, I love it! Isn't it perfect? Do you think it's perfect?!", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) It's Daisy!", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: (grabbing BRENNAN) Turn around. Turn around. That's Daisy Wick. Sweets' girlfriend. Don't look. No, she cannot see us.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because she is buying a wedding dress, and some guy is hugging her.", "BRENNAN: She's marrying someone else without telling Sweets? Don't you think he'd be upset about that?", "BOOTH: Yeah, of course.", "BRENNAN: Well, I like Sweets. We should tell him.", "BOOTH: No, no, no. No. No. It's got to be our little secret. Shh.", "[Return LUCIA with the information BOOTH had requested.]", "LUCIA: Here's Anya's information.", "BRENNAN: Oh, thank you.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "LUCIA: (picking up a veil off a rack, to BRENNAN) You know, this veil would be perfect for you, dear.", "BRENNAN: Oh, well, it's a symbol of virginity, and I've been sexually active since I was-", "BOOTH: (interrupting) Okay, Bones, we really have to get going. (to LUCIA) Thank you so much for your help. (guiding BRENNAN away) Come on, this way.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BREAK ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are discussing SWEETS and DAISY.]", "BRENNAN: A woman buys a wedding dress to get married, Booth. You know, if you're such a strict adherent to monogamy, then shouldn't you warn Sweets that he's being cuckolded?", "BOOTH: There are complicated emotions that are involved here. It's definitely not your thing.", "BRENNAN: It's a matter of honesty.", "BOOTH: Bones, just trust me on this one, all right? It's none of our business. It's none of our business.", "[Enter SWEETS.]", "SWEETS: What's none of your business?", "BOOTH: Hi!", "SWEETS: Hey.", "BOOTH: Hey! We were just discussing our latest case.", "SWEETS: The dead bride?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "SWEETS: That would be completely your business though, wouldn't it?", "BRENNAN: (nodding) Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: No, we were just... SWEETS: Am I missing something?", "BRENNAN: Daisy.", "SWEETS: What?", "BOOTH: No, crazy. Daisy. You must really miss Daisy.", "SWEETS: Yeah, we manage.", "BOOTH: Let me ask you a question. Could dealing with crazy brides all day make someone, you know, snap and commit murder?", "BRENNAN: No, the bride snapped first. She had a fight with the bridal consultant.", "SWEETS: Right. Well, if the bride's physical or emotional needs are not met, yeah, she might act out. Violence is rare though. Infidelity is more common; using some disposable sap as an emotional Band-Aid.", "BOOTH: Right.", "BRENNAN: Fascinating.", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Let's go.", "BRENNAN: (to SWEETS) So a woman could be buying her wedding dress with her fiancé, and spending her free time with her lover.", "BOOTH: Right, but, uh, physical violence is definitely a possibility, right?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: So we gotta get going. Come on, Bones.", "SWEETS: It is, but you interrupted Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: (over BRENNAN's protests, to SWEETS) We have somewhere we have to be. We're late. See you later. Later.", "[BRENNAN hands SWEETS her coffee mug. Exit BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are interrogating ANYA PERTEL.]", "ANYA: I worked at Bertolino's for 29 years. No matter what a bride looked like coming in, when I was done with her, she was beautiful. But that one, Miss Mitsakos, ugly from the inside out.", "BOOTH: Okay, why don't you just tell us about Meriel.", "ANYA: Every time she dropped a pound, she made me adjust that bodice, which would have been fine, but Friday, she decided instead of a drop waist, she wanted a natural waist. She suggested I start from scratch. She insinuated I didn't know what I was doing; that her dress issues were my fault. She pushed me away. Pushed me!", "BRENNAN: And then you slapped her?", "ANYA: No. I slapped her after she threw the pins at me.", "BOOTH: You got fired. You must have been angry.", "ANYA: I pride myself on being a gentlewoman. I would rather not talk about this any further.", "BOOTH: I understand. Just one more thing. You had Meriel's personal information - her account, address, et cetera. Can you account for your whereabouts the day after you got fired?", "ANYA: I know what you're implying, Agent Booth. I was at home. I live alone. But I have spent the last 29 years bringing joy to young women.", "BRENNAN: So, no alibi.", "ANYA: I am a gentlewoman.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. Enter CAM and WENDELL.]", "CAM: Hodgins found gravel in her hair, but death by gravel is unlikely.", "WENDELL: Time to get her off the cardboard?", "CAM: How? She's basically been absorbed into the substrate. We could cut underneath, but that runs the risk of compromising the bones.", "WENDELL: We have to scrape her off.", "[Enter HODGINS. He approaches the computer.]", "HODGINS: Look at this. Tox screen results on the pureed maggots: tequila. The maggots were hammered.", "CAM: Which means Meriel was, too.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but it gets better. The weird glaze on the vic's clothing wasn't extruded fat. It was glycerin.", "WENDELL: According to Dr. Brennan, Bertolino's uses glycerin to preserve bridal bouquets.", "CAM: Looks like Bridezilla might have messed with the wrong old lady.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. Enter CAM, HODGINS, ANGELA, WENDELL and a lab assistant with a large metal platter.]", "WENDELL: I used to work at Anthony's Famous in Georgetown.", "HODGINS: Oh, that is some seriously good pizza.", "WENDELL: The secret is the crust. It's all in the crust.", "CAM: Does this relate to our victim at all?", "WENDELL: This is basically how we get the pizzas out of the oven. And every pie was perfect. Everybody ready?", "ANGELA: This is so far out of my job description, it's not even funny.", "HODGINS: Okay, we are in.", "CAM: Mm, she's sticking.", "WENDELL: It was always tough getting the pie out. The cheese would bubble over onto the oven and stick. The pie could break apart. I wouldn't serve a pie like that.", "CAM: Can we save your war stories for a more appropriate time, Mr. Bray?", "WENDELL: Yeah.", "CAM: (as she and the team slide the platter between the body and the cardboard) Careful. Careful of the skull.", "HODGINS: Okay, perfect.", "WENDELL: Now that's something I'd serve.", "[CAM and ANGELA shoot WENDELL looks.]", "WENDELL: (backtracking) If she were a pizza... which she's not. So-so, I'll-I'll stop now.", "HODGINS: Ready?", "HODGINS: Carefully. Careful.", "WENDELL: Can I remove the flesh?", "CAM: Knock yourself out.", "[INT. FOUNDING FATHERS BAR AND GRILL - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are discussing the case over coffee.]", "BRENNAN: So, do you think the bridal consultant killed Meriel?", "BOOTH: Not really, but, you know, hey, I've been wrong before.", "BRENNAN: You're usually quite certain.", "BOOTH: No, that would be you, Bones, okay? (mocking BRENNAN) I'm never getting married.", "BRENNAN: You've never married.", "BOOTH: Well, I will.", "BRENNAN: That's impossible to know.", "BOOTH: You know what? Obviously, you have issues with this, so next time we see Sweets, you should bring it up?", "BRENNAN: Sweets is having an affair with a woman who's engaged. He's hardly one to give advice.", "BOOTH: You know what? You are scared. That's what it is. You're scared of love.", "[Enter SWEETS and DAISY.]", "SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth. Hey, mind if we join you?", "BOOTH: Look at that. It's Sweets and Daisy.", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan, it's so good to see you. I want you to know, that even though you fired me twice, I have nothing but warm feelings toward you.", "BRENNAN: Then you wouldn't mind if I spoke freely?", "DAISY: Of course not.", "BOOTH: All right! (rising from his seat) We were just leaving.", "BRENNAN: No, we haven't gotten our food yet.", "BOOTH: We don't need the food.", "DAISY: (sitting in BOOTH's seat) Oh, great!", "BOOTH: And she sits.", "DAISY: (to BRENNAN) You know, every time I get stuck on my dissertation, I think to myself, \"WWBD.\"", "BRENNAN: I have no idea what that means.", "DAISY: \"What Would Brennan Do?\" I mean, it really should be \"WWDBD\" - \"What Would Dr. Brennan Do?\" but that seems unnecessarily formal since I'm only thinking it silently.", "SWEETS: (chuckles) Isn't she cute?", "BOOTH: (mockingly chuckles) Yeah, she's adorable. (to BRENNAN) Come on.", "BRENNAN: Multiple wives is the norm in most of the world. Sweets and Daisy would have no problem if the same were true here.", "SWEETS: Beg your pardon?", "BOOTH: You see, Bones is just so into the murder of this bride, that the facts just start pouring out.", "(to BRENNAN) You would really kick ass on that Millionaire show. Come on.", "DAISY: I can only imagine what it would be like to have your brain.", "BRENNAN: That's true.", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that. Text flying in. We gotta go.", "BRENNAN: I don't see a text.", "SWEETS: Hey, how about the four us grab some Mongolian barbecue tonight?", "DAISY: Oh, I'm busy. I already have plans.", "BRENNAN: With whom?", "BOOTH: That's none of our business.", "DAISY: I have yoga class. (to SWEETS) You don't mind, do you, Lancelot? (grabbing SWEETS' tie) It makes me limber.", "BOOTH: Oh, here we go. We really have to get going here. Come on. Come on. Let's go.", "SWEETS: Uh, so we can take your table?", "BOOTH: Have the food, too.", "SWEETS: All right!", "DAISY: Wow, they're so nice.", "BRENNAN: (to BOOTH, on their way out) If they want a healthy monogamous relationship, they should be forthright and honest.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, that's not the way a relationship is supposed to be.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. BRENNAN and ANGELA are working with the cardboard.]", "ANGELA: Most of the boxes don't have any identifiable markings, but the surface scratches on this one look like they may be handwriting.", "BRENNAN: Daisy Wick is having an affair.", "ANGELA: Really?", "BRENNAN: She's getting married, and she's cuckolding on her fiancé with Dr. Sweets.", "ANGELA: Poor Sweets. He loves her.", "BRENNAN: Booth doesn't want to tell him. He says it's none of our business.", "ANGELA: Exactly.", "BRENNAN: But wouldn't it be kind to spare Sweets any emotional pain Miss Wick's infidelity might cause him?", "ANGELA: If Sweets is in love with Daisy, and she's cheating on him, somewhere inside he knows. And if he doesn't, then it's because he doesn't want to. Will you hand me that lemon juice?", "BRENNAN: I think you are correct.", "ANGELA: Good. A person's love life-", "BRENNAN: The scratches on the cardboard should take on a higher concentration of lemon juice than the surface area.", "ANGELA: You just want to tell him, don't you?", "BRENNAN: Sweets says that he's an expert in human psychology. He should be able to handle a problem this common.", "ANGELA: Come on, sweetie, be kind.", "BRENNAN: Of course.", "ANGELA: Look, it looks like we can read the writing on the box. Okay, \"Champagne Lounge, 271 Beloit Avenue, Washington, DC.\"", "[CUT TO: INT. CHAMPAGNE LOUNGE - NIGHT. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "BOOTH: I'll tell you what. You know what, Bones? These bubbles are gonna stain my suit.", "BRENNAN: These bubbles are formed using glycerin. Maybe that's how the glycerin got on Meriel's clothes, not the flowers.", "BOOTH: Yeah, right.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN approach the BARTENDER.]", "BOOTH: Hey, Buddy, over here.", "BARTENDER: What can I get you?", "BOOTH: Information. You working here Friday night?", "BARTENDER: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Do you recognize this woman?", "BARTENDER: Oh, wish I didn't. She sent her drink back three times. Dirty martini? Too dirty. Mojito? Too sweet. Vodka on the rocks-", "BOOTH: All right. Who was she with?", "BARTENDER: I don't know. Some guy.", "BRENNAN: Well, her fiancé's about 185 centimeters, rectangular cranial structure, dominant maxillary bone.", "BARTENDER: Look, all I remember is that the dude paid for her drinks.", "BOOTH: Probably used a credit card, so why don't you go look for those receipts for me?", "BARTENDER: Must have served a thousand drinks Friday. When I get a chance, I'll look for it.", "BOOTH: You should get the chance soon. Or better yet, why don't you think about it while I go card these two blondes over here.", "[The BARTENDER turns back to retrieve receipts.]", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "BRENNAN: (noticing boxes) What do you do with those boxes?", "BARTENDER: Recycling dumpster off the back alley. Why?", "[CUT TO: EXT. ALLEY BEHIND CHAMPAGNE LOUNGE - NIGHT. BOOTH and BRENNAN leave the club and enter the back alley.]", "BOOTH: All right, well. All right, you know, it always stinks in the back alley, doesn't it? (to a young couple making out against the wall) Come on. Okay, let's go. Break it up. FBI. Come on. Back inside.", "All right, no worries. Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Pea gravel. (leaning down to pick up a handful) Hodgins can determine if it's a match for what we found in the victim's hair.", "BOOTH: Right. (takes out phone and dials) Yeah, Special Agent Booth, 22705. Look, I need a crime scene unit here at 271 Beloit. Back entrance. Thanks.", "[BOOTH takes out a flashlight and begins looking around. BRENNAN is scanning the area with a UV light. BOOTH finds a jewel-covered cell phone.]", "BOOTH: Oh! Look at that, huh? (leaning down to pick it up) I think I may have found the woman's cell phone. Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: What do you got?", "BRENNAN: Come here.", "[BOOTH approaches. BRENNAN removes her UV goggles and puts them on BOOTH's face.]", "BOOTH: Oh, thanks. (looking down) We got some blood there, huh?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - NIGHT. ANGELA is working on the recovered cell phone. BRENNAN is watching.]", "BRENNAN: Booth says that if we can pull the call history, he won't have to subpoena the phone company records.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I've heard of that place, the Champagne Lounge. A lot of couples use the alley for a quickie. (about the cell phone) Okay, well, it looks like it's just the battery.", "BRENNAN: Maybe she was regretting her decision to limit her sexual activity to one man.", "ANGELA: You just can't let it go, can you? (tweaking the cell phone) All right, this ought to do it. All fixed.", "BRENNAN: Well done.", "[The cell phone rings.]", "ANGELA: Oh, my God, she's getting a call. What-what... what do you want me to do?", "BRENNAN: Answer it.", "ANGELA: Oh, my God. It's Hodgins.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HALLWAY - DAY. Enter BOOTH, BRENNAN, ANGELA, and HODGINS.]", "HODGINS: Okay, this is embarrassing.", "BOOTH: Yeah, it's worse than that because your picture just popped up on a dead woman's cell phone.", "HODGINS: Because my phone was within 100 yards of hers.", "BOOTH: Hey, don't go all squinty on me, okay, Hodgins? I want an explanation.", "HODGINS: It's a dating service.", "ANGELA: You're using a dating service?", "HODGINS: Yes. Along with millions of other people. It's called \"Date or Hate?\" When a potential match is within 100 yards, both our cell phones ring. You can either press \"date\" or \"hate.\" If we both press \"date,\" then we get each other's cell numbers.", "BRENNAN: But Meriel was engaged. Why would she be using a dating service?", "HODGINS: I don't know. Maybe she forgot to cancel.", "BOOTH: Guys, s*x. It's a no-brainer.", "BRENNAN: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?", "[ANGELA and HODGINS exchange looks.]", "HODGINS: It's not about the s*x. I was looking for a meaningful connection.", "ANGELA: I get it, Jack.", "HODGINS: You do?", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Hey, guys, dead body, all right? Murder. Did you know the victim before she was a pizza?", "HODGINS: No. But she would definitely have many other potential dates. You should talk to the agency. The \"Date or Hate?\" offices are local.", "[HODGINS's phone rings.]", "BRENNAN: (looking at the screen) Doesn't she work in the cafeteria?", "BOOTH: Ouch. She just pressed \"hate.\" You're out.", "HODGINS: (taking phone back) Okay, all right, just...", "[CUT TO: INT. DATE OR HATE HEADQUARTERS - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN meet with the owner of Date or Hate, KURTIS ROSSI.]", "ROSSI: We have 8,000 registered users in the DC area, and almost 200 marital success stories.", "BOOTH: Well, one of your registered users, a Meriel Mitsakos, was murdered.", "[ROSSI appears uncomfortable, sighing deeply.]", "BRENNAN: Did you know the victim?", "ROSSI: No, but I'm in the process of securing venture capital to take my company national. If this gets out, I could lose my investors.", "BOOTH: Right. Well, we're going to have to take a look at Meriel's \"Date or Hate?\" activity.", "ROSSI: Oh, that's private.", "BOOTH: Well, she's dead, Mr. Rossi. Or maybe your investors would like the publicity of a court order.", "ROSSI: (sighs and turns back to his computer) In the last month, she was matched with 20 potentials. She hit \"hate\" on 14 of them, \"date\" on five. She never responded to the last guy - a Jack Hodgins from earlier today.", "BRENNAN: When did she last press \"date\"?", "ROSSI: 7:45 p. m. last Friday.", "BOOTH: That was the night she was murdered.", "BRENNAN: Do you have a name?", "ROSSI: Owen Smith. He pressed \"date,\" too.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is interrogating BOB CAVERLY.]", "CAVERLY: I don't believe it. There's no way Meriel was cheating on me.", "BOOTH: You're sure?", "CAVERLY: We were engaged, Agent Booth.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY. SWEETS is taking notes. BRENNAN is standing by.]", "BRENNAN: Would you want someone to tell you if your girlfriend was cheating? Or do you favor denial?", "SWEETS: No, I mean, I'd know if Daisy were cheating on me, Dr. Brennan. I'm trained to recognize the subtleties of human behavior. So, it's a moot point.", "BOOTH: (over speaker, to CAVERLY) You know, I think you found out she was cheating. I mean, she wasn't really discreet.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY.]", "BOOTH: (continuing) Using your cell phone to meet other guys. It's understandable that you snapped.", "CAVERLY: Are you sure about this list?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY.]", "BOOTH: (over speaker, to CAVERLY) That's what makes it so understandable. Where were you the night that she disappeared?", "CAVERLY: (over speaker, to BOOTH) Dance class. Genie told me how important that first dance was to Meriel, and I just wanted to be perfect for her.", "BRENNAN: (turning to SWEETS) In our sessions, you put a high premium on honesty, don't you, Dr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: Of course. You think he's lying?", "BRENNAN: Uh, no. I'm talking about you and Daisy. (long pause) She's engaged to be married, and she's sleeping with you behind her fiancé's back.", "SWEETS: What? No. You're wrong, Dr. Brennan. That can't be. You're wrong.", "BRENNAN: Obviously, you can't read all the psychological subtleties that you think you can. (pause) Booth and I saw her trying on her wedding dress with her fiancé. He hugged her and twirled her around in the air.", "SWEETS: That's impossible, Dr. Brennan. I would have known.", "BRENNAN: This is denial, right?", "SWEETS: No, I mean... (realizing, quietly) Oh, God.", "BRENNAN: Booth felt that I shouldn't tell you, that it was none of our business, but I think that now you can make an informed decision. Either share Miss Wick... or move on.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry. Could-could you excuse me for a moment. I need-I need a minute to myself.", "BRENNAN: Sure. Booth is finished anyway, so...", "[Exit BRENNAN.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. ANGELA is seated at her desk. CAM and WENDELL are standing behind her, watching.]", "WENDELL: I found fractures on the piece of the cranium inconsistent with the compression from the baler.", "[ANGELA is flipping through images of the crushed body.]", "WENDELL: (pointing) Stop. That's a good one. Dr. Brennan thought we might be able to find the cause of the fracture by reexamining photos of the tissue.", "CAM: Isolate her head full frame.", "ANGELA: I don't see anything, guys.", "WENDELL: We're not looking on the surface, we're looking beneath it.", "ANGELA: Okay, well, I need to enhance the details. I can shower the image with various wavelengths of light. Next, I apply the filter software. Finally I blacken the blacks, maximize contrast, and sharpen the focus.", "CAM: Perimortem bruising.", "ANGELA: That's a tire tread.", "WENDELL: She was run over by a car.", "CAM: Seems like our victim was flattened before she was flattened.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BOOTH'S OFFICE - DAY. BOOTH is arranging files. Enter BRENNAN.]", "BRENNAN: Hi.", "BOOTH: So her fiancé's alibi checks out. He was dancing the night away.", "BRENNAN: I told Sweets about Daisy.", "BOOTH: (annoyed) Bones, why?", "BRENNAN: Well, I felt like I was lying to him by keeping it to myself. How about the others?", "BOOTH: Huh? The others? He was dating other people?", "BRENNAN: No, the other suspects in Meriel's murder. What about Owen Smith?", "BOOTH: The Bureau's doing a background check. Smith, he was using a disposable phone, and his e-mail accounts were cancelled. According to Kurtis, it's a common MO for married men to get a little something-something on the side. Why did you have to tell Sweets? He's going to come in here, he's going to cry and stuff.", "[Enter SWEETS. He knocks at the door.]", "SWEETS: Excuse me.", "BOOTH: (under his breath) Oh, God.", "SWEETS: Um, you have a minute?", "BRENNAN: Of course.", "SWEETS: I was talking to Agent Booth. I'd like a minute alone.", "BRENNAN: Sure.", "[Exit BRENNAN.]", "SWEETS: Well, I'll get right to it. Uh, Dr. Brennan told me that Daisy is engaged to another man.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, Sweets. I... SWEETS: It's okay, it's okay. Dr. Brennan was being honest. I appreciate it.", "BOOTH: (sighs) No, you don't. (getting up) Come on.", "SWEETS: I don't! I don't! I feel like an idiot!", "BOOTH: Have a seat. Come on.", "SWEETS: Daisy, she's been canceling on me all the time lately. Like yoga the other day, and, you know, recently, at night, when she's over, the frequency of our (gesticulating) our intimate relations... she says that she's been tired because of her dissertation.", "BOOTH: I get it.", "SWEETS: It was right in front of me, right in front of me all along. (sighs) I'm a failure, as a lover and a psychologist.", "BOOTH: No, no, it's not true. Sweets, these things, they happen.", "SWEETS: Okay, what should I do? I don't have many manly-man friends like you that I can talk to. What would a guy-guy do in this situation?", "BOOTH: Are you asking me if you should fight for her?", "SWEETS: Do you think I should?", "BOOTH: If you were your own patient, what kind of advice would you give yourself?", "SWEETS: Impressive. Turn the question back on me. It's a classic therapeutic technique. (beat) It's really, really annoying.", "BOOTH: Did it work?", "SWEETS: Yeah, I should confront her. I should be candid. You're right. You're right. It's the only way. Thank you.", "BOOTH: Any time.", "SWEETS: It was very helpful.", "BOOTH: The session's over.", "SWEETS: (chuckles) Um, hey, you think maybe we could... hug? Like men, of course. It'd be comforting for me-", "BOOTH: No.", "SWEETS: -under the... No?", "BOOTH: No. I don't hug things out. You know, we just kind of (punching SWEETS on the arm) good slug on the arm. It's more of a manly thing to do.", "SWEETS: Okay.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "SWEETS: Sure.", "BOOTH: Okay?", "SWEETS: Could you do it again?", "BOOTH: Sure. (punches SWEETS on the arm, laughs) Want more?", "SWEETS: No.", "BOOTH: Oh. See ya.", "SWEETS: Thank you.", "[Exit SWEETS, grimacing in pain.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. Enter BRENNAN, ANGELA, and CAM. They approach the Angelator.]", "ANGELA: Wendell's data suggests that she was struck by an SUV.", "BRENNAN: The patella fractures are several centimeters higher than a standard car bumper.", "ANGELA: (to CAM) You didn't find any incised wounds with glass or paint, did you?", "CAM: No, why?", "ANGELA: I'm just confirming that the victim didn't wrap around the hood, which means that her center of gravity thrust her backward, something like this.", "[ANGELA enters variables into the Angelator.]", "ANGELA: (to BRENNAN) Hey, uh, whatever happened to your online dating thing?", "BRENNAN: I didn't have the time to properly sort through all the potential matches.", "CAM: (to ANGELA) You thinking of trying it?", "BRENNAN: I think Sweets should sign up.", "CAM: Did you really tell Sweets that Daisy was cheating on him?", "BRENNAN: Everyone seems to think that I've done something terrible. I didn't want to lie.", "CAM: In this case, it was definitely the way to go.", "ANGELA: Okay, ladies, It's ready.", "[A model forms on the Angelator. A model SUV runs into a model person, sending her flying. The three women flinch.]", "ANGELA: In newer model SUVs, the grill protrudes almost as far as the bumper. It's like being hit by a battering ram.", "CAM: I thought you said you found tire treads on her head?", "ANGELA: No, I'm not finished. Assuming this was done on purpose, the driver backed up to see where his victim had landed. And then, he gunned it.", "[The Angelator shows the model SUV running over the model victim's head.]", "BRENNAN: The multidirectional fractures on the skull are consistent with a tire's downward vertical force.", "CAM: The killer ran her down, and then made sure she was dead by running her over again.", "BRENNAN: That is much worse than anything I might have done to Sweets. I'll call Booth.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HODGIN'S WORKSTATION - DAY. HODGINS is standing in front of a microscope. Enter WENDELL.]", "WENDELL: Excuse me, Dr. Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "WENDELL: I wanted to tell you that I'm going to the Founding Fathers for a drink tonight with some friends. Girlfriends.", "HODGINS: Girlfriends.", "WENDELL: Yeah. I've got a bunch of friends who are girls and we get together and hang out like we're guys. (pause) It's not as confusing as it sounds. Most of them are single.", "HODGINS: (chuckles) Trying to fix me up there, Wendell?", "WENDELL: I'm offering you an opportunity to meet some great people.", "HODGINS: Who have breasts.", "WENDELL: That they do. I think they'd like you.", "HODGINS: You don't really know me.", "WENDELL: I grew up on the streets, Dr. Hodgins. It doesn't take me long to get a feel for someone. First round's on me.", "[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. BRENNAN and WENDELL are searching for an SUV matching the given description.]", "BRENNAN: Booth got the name of the victim's drinking partner from the bartender at the Champagne Lounge. Joe Fillion. He works in this building.", "WENDELL: (pointing) There's another SUV. DC plates, F793A4.", "BRENNAN: Those plates are registered to Joe Fillion.", "WENDELL: So this guy ran her down, then backed up and ran over her again? That's a bad date. (crouching down next to the SUV) These stains could be blood.", "BRENNAN: What was the height of the patella fractures?", "WENDELL Uh, 54 centimeters.", "BRENNAN: (turning around) Undo my necklace. I need to measure if the point of impact matches.", "WENDELL: What happened to your measuring tape?", "WENDELL: I don't know. It's missing. There was a Post-it note from the Egyptology Department in its place.", "BRENNAN: (measuring) Exactly one and a half lengths high. Consistent with the patellar point of impact.", "WENDELL: The victim's skull was crushed by a tire.", "BRENNAN: It was the approximate cause of death, yes.", "WENDELL: The victim had black hair, right?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "[WENDELL picks up hair off the tire with tweezers and shows them to BRENNAN.]", "BRENNAN: I think we found the murder weapon.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is questioning JOE FILLION.]", "BOOTH: So, were you at the Champagne Lounge to meet women in general or Meriel in particular?", "FILLION: No, I was meeting Meriel. Look, there's no secret - her friend Genie knew. I wanted to get my engagement ring back.", "BOOTH: You were engaged?", "FILLION: Yeah, she broke it off when she met that Mike guy. The ring was my grandmother's.", "BOOTH: Did she give the ring back?", "FILLION: No. She sold it to pay for her wedding.", "BOOTH: She sold your grandmother's ring?", "FILLION: Are you kidding me? That's only the half of it. When we were talking, her cell phone rang. It was one of those \"Date or Hate?\" match thingies. And Meriel presses \"date.\"", "BOOTH: Ugh.", "FILLION: I mean, can you believe that? She's screwing over her new fiancé, too.", "BOOTH: Wow, that must've made you mad, Joe.", "FILLION: Yeah.", "FILLION: Oh, come on, look, man, you're not going to blame me for this. All right, no, look, she is not going to screw me again!", "BOOTH: Whoa, look at that. That is the Lab calling. They tore apart your SUV. Anything you want to tell me before I pick this up?", "FILLION: Yeah. (pause) I want a lawyer.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "BOOTH: Well, you know, he didn't do it. At least not with that vehicle.", "BRENNAN: What about the hair and the blood?", "BOOTH: Uh, he hit a dog last week. When he talked about it, he burst out into tears. You know, he was more upset about that than he was about Meriel.", "BRENNAN: Well, she lied to him and he hates her for it. Cam thinks that I should've deceived Sweets, too. You know, I don't understand. Our lives are devoted to the pursuit of truth.", "BOOTH: Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay, look, what if you and I were going out, right, and you were, you know, taking forever to get ready and you came out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?", "BRENNAN: I'd reevaluate, change, or ignore you.", "BOOTH: Of course you would, Bones, good answer.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. HODGINS and ANGELA are looking at photos.]", "ANGELA: These are the guys that Meriel met on that \"Date or Hate?\" We're looking for Owen Smith. (finds the photo) Here he is, Owen Smith. Hmm, he looks weird.", "HODGINS: Why? The guy looks perfect.", "ANGELA: I know, that's what's weird. He doesn't look real, right? Seems too young for plastic surgery, but these wide flaring cheekbones - there's no way that they could coexist with this nasal bridge.", "HODGINS: He is real. Owen Smith, her final date. Connected at 7:45 the night she disappeared.", "ANGELA: (placing photo down) I don't know...", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - SWEETS'S OFFICE - DAY. SWEETS is pacing. Enter DAISY.]", "DAISY: (eagerly approaching) What's so important, Lancelot? You miss me too much?", "SWEETS: (solemnly) Please, sit down, Daisy.", "DAISY: What's wrong?", "[They sit down.]", "SWEETS: I've-I've devoted myself to this relationship. I've given you everything. My heart... DAISY: Are you breaking up with me?", "SWEETS: I love you, but I can no longer... DAISY: You are breaking up with me.", "SWEETS: Tears will have no impact on me, Daisy.", "DAISY: Why? What have I done?", "SWEETS: You're engaged to someone else, for God's sakes! I'm not gonna be your little boy toy because you have a dysfunctional relationship with your fiancé.", "DAISY: What?!", "SWEETS: All those classes that you go to... You probably don't even take yoga, do you?", "DAISY: If I wasn't taking yoga, how could I do a Shirshasana?", "SWEETS: What about the wedding dress? Booth and Brennan saw you trying it on at the bridal shop cavorting with your fiancé.", "DAISY: Baby, my cousin is out of town. Bertolino's was having their annual sale. We're the same size. It was 50% off, one day only.", "SWEETS: Okay, and that man you were with?", "DAISY: Her fiancé. Not mine. I love my Lancelot.", "SWEETS: Oh, my God. I was so jealous. How could I have doubted you?", "DAISY: We're both beautiful people, Lance. I mean, we're bound to get jealous sometimes.", "SWEETS: I wish we could run home together right now.", "DAISY: (running to lock the door) I can't wait that long.", "[They begin undressing and fall to the floor in a passionate frenzy.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN and ANGELA are looking at the computer. Enter HODGINS.]", "BRENNAN: I can't believe I didn't see that before.", "HODGINS: See what? What are we looking for?", "ANGELA: Okay, Owen is a composite of these four other dates. Look, he has Graham Mou's chin, Mel Jensen's eyes, Frank Henley's mouth, and Mickey Jasper's nose and cheekbones.", "HODGINS: Someone created the perfect man in order to meet our victim.", "BRENNAN: Someone who had access to all these photos.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are questioning KURTIS ROSSI.]", "ROSSI: That's insane. Why would I create a fake persona just to meet some girl?", "BRENNAN: Because your facial morphology is subpar. Your supraorbital torus is too high and thick, you lack a mental eminence-", "BOOTH: Bones? He gets the picture.", "ROSSI: This is crazy.", "BOOTH: Right, we checked with the DMV. We know that you drive a sport utility vehicle. You see, the forensic team is examining your SUV right now.", "ROSSI: (after a long pause) It was an accident.", "BRENNAN: Hitting her once might have been an accident, but running over her twice seems very deliberate.", "ROSSI: She said she wanted a funny, smart, successful guy. That's me. (pause) I just wanted a chance.", "BOOTH: Really, and you thought she'd overlook the fake photo that you put in there, too, huh?", "ROSSI: All these beautiful women on my service, but... none of them will look at me. I'm better than half the losers that sign up.", "BRENNAN: She laughed you off and you followed her?", "ROSSI: No. I was driving down the alley on my way home. She was having a smoke. I rolled down my window to talk, just talk, and she gave me the finger and walked away.", "BOOTH: And you ran her down.", "BRENNAN: Twice.", "ROSSI: I don't know what happened. I'm a nice guy. I'm smart. (long pause) I'm just what she asked for.", "[CUT TO: EXT. FOUNDING FATHERS BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT. HODGINS sees WENDELL and his friends through the window and smiles. His phone rings. It's the Date or Hate service; ANGELA's photo pops up. He looks around. Elsewhere, ANGELA's phone also rings. She sees HODGINS's photo. They both place their phones away and continue on. HODGINS enters the Founding Fathers and greets WENDELL and his friends.]", "[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. There's a knock at BOOTH's door.]", "BRENNAN: (through door) Booth, it's Bones.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (opens door) Hi.", "BRENNAN: Hey. I should've called.", "BOOTH: No, come on in. You kidding me?", "BRENNAN: I saw Sweets and Daisy, and I was wrong. She wasn't cheating on him.", "BOOTH: Well, that's a good thing, right?", "BRENNAN: Well, I wanted to spare him pain, but all I did was cause it. (sits down on the couch)", "BOOTH: You meant well.", "BRENNAN: I made him so jealous, I almost ruined their relationship. I should've listened to you.", "BOOTH: Maybe next time you will. (pause) Hey, I was just gonna go out and grab a bite to eat, some Chinese, maybe some-", "BRENNAN: (getting up) I'd rather drink. Do you want one?", "BOOTH: Yeah, we could do that. My good bottle of scotch. Bottoms up, Bones.", "BRENNAN: You know, intellectually I know that jealousy is absurd. But I see that it's real for people. (looking down) I even experience it myself.", "BOOTH: So... (taking a seat) who are you jealous of?", "BRENNAN: Angela. Hodgins. Cam. You.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is transcendent and eternal. I want to believe that, too.", "BOOTH: Hey, you will. I promise. Someday you will. You will someday, okay? You will.", "[FADE TO BLACK.]" ]

[ "When a colleague from the Jeffersonian's Egyptology department dies of heart failure, Brennan realizes at the wake that the death was not an accident. Brennan convinces Booth to steal the body and sneak it back to the Jeffersonian so she and Cam can investigate while the rest of the team put on a front to deflect suspicion. Cam runs into trouble when she attempts to get Michelle, her newly adopted teenager, to stop smoking." ]

[ "\"Double Death of the Dearly Departed\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Open: Booth's Car - Booth, Brennan, Cam & Hodgins are on the way to a funeral)", "BOOTH: Geez, the poor guy was only 50.", "BRENNAN: They say cause of death was cardiac failure resulting from a congenital defect.", "BOOTH: You're not gonna talk like that when we get there, right?", "BRENNAN: Like what?", "BOOTH: You know, it's a wake, Bones, it's not a crime scene. You know, \"Hey I'm sorry for your loss.\" \"How are you holding up?\" Stuff like that.", "BRENNAN: I know, I just don't agree with the social convention which requires us to attend a day long grieving ritual simply because the deceased worked at the Jeffersonian.", "BOOTH: Try not to say \"the deceased.\"", "BRENNAN: It's not like any of us actually knew this Dr. Reilly personally.", "HODGINS: I knew him. It was Hank. Hank was a prince.", "CAM: I talked to him just last week about Michelle. How to get her to stop smoking.", "BOOTH: She's smoking? She's smoking what?", "CAM: Cigarettes. I've been her legal guardian for a month and I'm already a total failure.", "BOOTH: She's 16. She's just trying to test you, that's all.", "CAM: Maybe we should just focus on Hank.", "BRENNAN: Whoa, I think I remember him. Curly blond hair, blue eyes, glasses...", "BOOTH: Nope. Dark hair, balding.", "BRENNAN: You don't even work at the Jeffersonian. How do you know him?", "BOOTH: The guy ran the best fantasy football league in DC.", "HODGINS: Oh, man...Oh, man, I still owe him 20 bucks.", "BOOTH: Come to think about it, you know what, he owed me 20 bucks. Great, how am I gonna get that now?", "(Cut to: Reilly Home. Mourners are gathered in the parlor to view Hanks body.)", "BRENNAN: There are a lot people here whom I recognize.", "ANGELA: Well, they're from work, honey.", "HODGINS: There's Amy Valeska. That's Hank's assistant.", "CAM: Ch, she looks really upset.", "SWEETS: Grief can be very difficult to process so, if anyone needs to talk...", "BOOTH: That's why they have booze, Sweets. Right?", "ANGELA: Hank's mother over there is very rich. Something to do with dry cleaning.", "(A man approaches)", "BARNEY REILLY: Dr. Temperance Brennan?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Hello.", "BARNEY REILLY: Hank said you worked at the museum, but I didn't think you'd be here. I- I'm Barney, Hank's brother.", "BOOTH: (whispering to Brennan) I'm sorry for your loss.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry for your loss.", "BARNEY REILLY: Yeah, I'm an author. A writer, like you. I mean, I write thrillers. I've read all of yours.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Ladies and gentleman, after you take a moment with the deceased, please join us in the family room for refreshments and reminiscences.", "CAM: Sounds good.", "(Hodgins walks up to the casket and places a $5 bill in Hank's jacket pocket)", "CAM: Sorry, Hank but she's still smoking.", "(Angela stand by the casket and wipes her tears away. After, Booth walks up and takes the $5 that Hodgins put in Hank's pocket. Then Hank's Mother, Brother and assistant - Amy Veleska - pay their respects. Amy places a rose in the coffin and there is noticeable tension between her and Hank's wife. Booth starts to usher Brennan forward)", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Go up. Pay your respects.", "BRENNAN: I know.", "(She walks up to the casket and places the rose back on Hank's body. Then she notices something else...she unbuttons Hank's shirt and starts feeling around his chest and realizes that something is wrong.)", "BOOTH: Okay, Bones, you really suck at this. You are staring way too long at this guy, okay? People are gonna start thinking you have a thing for him.", "BRENNAN: This man was murdered.", "BOOTH: Heart attack.", "BRENNAN: No...", "BOOTH: He had a heart attack.", "BRENNAN: No, Booth, this man was murdered. Hank Reilly did not die from congenital heart failure. He was murdered.", "OPENING CREDITS", "(Cut to: Reilly Home - Back Porch. Booth and Brennan are outside, talking. Booth hands her a drink.)", "BRENNAN: What is that? This is whiskey.", "BOOTH: Well, it's a wake, Bones, okay? There's drinking involved.", "BRENNAN: We should remain clear-headed so we can solve the murder.", "BOOTH: Code word, okay, for murder?", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: I want you to say \"translation,\" you understand? Translation, got it?", "BRENNAN: Okay. Someone translated Dr. Reilly, and we have to find out who.", "BOOTH: Bones, is there any chance you just feel bad about not knowing this guy like the rest of us did? So, now you're just making it about you in saying that he was translated instead of, I don't know, dying of natural causes?", "BRENNAN: No, there is no chance of that.", "BOOTH: What makes you think he was translated?", "BRENNAN: Okay, the rose that his assistant placed on his chest had fallen to the side. So, I reached in to put it back and I touched him.", "BOOTH: Whoa, you touched him?! Ugh. Ah!", "BRENNAN: I touch dead people all the time, Booth. Well, I felt cracked ribs. Left, 2-4.", "BOOTH: Drink up, will you?", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: 'Cause I'm hoping you're gonna pass out.", "BRENNAN: Booth, we are talking about translation.", "BOOTH: Bones, did you ever think that, I don't know, if there was evidence of foul translation, that the coroner would have spotted it?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Fine, so, I'll tell you what. Tomorrow morning we will go find the guy who did the autopsy and we'll ask him questions.", "BRENNAN: No, Dr. Reilly's scheduled to be cremated this afternoon. All the evidence will be destroyed. We have to get an injunction so that we can examine the remains.", "BOOTH: Now? You want me to take the body now?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: That family will be scarred for life.", "BRENNAN: Booth, the man has been translated.", "BOOTH: Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Triple fine, all right? I'll call for an injunction. In the meantime, go into the family room there where they're doing toasts, okay? All right, there you go. Bones? Put on a sad face. (She attempts a sad face) No, sad. (she tries again) Keep that face sad. That's it. That's it.", "(Cut to: Family Room. Hank's wife, Helen Reilly, is making a speech.)", "HELEN REILLY: I loved Hank Reilly. I still love him! And why not? He was...a good husband, a good man. The little things are what life's about. The routine.", "CAM: (whispering to Hodgins) Hank said I should ground Michelle. But I don't want to be the enemy. She's only been with me for a month, you know?", "HODGINS: Really, now?", "CAM: Oh, right.", "HELEN REILLY: Every morning I brewed his tea for him steeped just the amount he liked it. What am I going to do now, in the mornings? Without Hank?", "JONAH AMAYO: I- I'm Jonah Amayo. Hank and I started at the Jeffersonian at the same time. (Brennan walks past everyone and heads back into the Parlor) He was head of Egyptology. I lead the Caribbean department.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Booth enters and finds Brennan examining Hank's body again.)", "BOOTH: Bones, what are you doing? Will you stop playing with the body?!", "BRENNAN: Did you get the injunction?", "BOOTH: No, the judge turned us down.", "BRENNAN: But why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because both the paramedics and the medical examiner said that Reilly here died of heart failure. No evidence of translation.", "BRENNAN: But I am contradicting them. My record and credentials...", "BOOTH: Okay, look, the judge said he didn't want to grant a request to an author of pulp mystery books just because she wanted to get a little free publicity. There, I said it.", "BRENNAN: That man is a fool. They are not pulp.", "BOOTH: At least he was right about, you know, the paramedics and the medical examiner.", "BRENNAN: I will get the judge the proof he needs. Just guard the door.", "BOOTH: Get away from the body. Get away from the body.", "CAM: (entering) Guard the door? From what?", "(Cut to:", "(Cut to: Back Porch. Brennan is showing the picture she took on her camera phone to Cam)", "CAM: You undressed the deceased?", "BRENNAN: No, I didn't have to. It was slit up the back. I just had to untuck him.", "(Cam takes the phone and looks at the picture closer.)", "CAM: Huh. There was no mention of this contusion in the medical examiner's report.", "BOOTH: Meaning?", "CAM: This bruise was sustained later.", "BRENNAN: Corpses don't bruise.", "BOOTH: Whoa, wait. So, Hank was alive after he was declared dead?", "CAM: Sure looks that way.", "BOOTH: Where did the body go after the medical examiner?", "CAM: The funeral home. For embalming.", "BRENNAN: We've got to talk to the funeral director.", "(Cut to: Hallway. Booth enters a room and doesn't find anyone. Brennan opens the bathroom door and she sees Helen Reilly & the Undertaker, Franklin Tung, having s*x.)", "BRENNAN: Hello.", "HELEN REILLY: You mind?", "(Brennan closes the door and runs down the hall to find Booth)", "BRENNAN: Booth! Booth!", "(Brennan makes a 'having s*x' motion with her hands)", "BOOTH: What? What?!", "(Brennan repeats the hand motion)", "BRENNAN: The widow and the undertaker.", "(She repeats the actions with her hands)", "BOOTH: What, they were dancing? What?!", "BRENNAN: Sexual intercourse.", "BOOTH: Oh, how am I supposed to get sexual intercourse from that? (he copies her prior movements with her hands)", "BRENNAN: It's very obvious.", "BOOTH: Oh, is it? No, this is obvious.", "HELEN REILLY: This is my house now and I can do who I want in it.", "BOOTH: Obviously. Okay, there you go. (to Franklin) So, uh, you do this stuff a lot?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: It's my job to comfort the bereaved.", "BOOTH: Well, it is also your duty to report any damage the body sustained during your preparation of it.", "FRANKLIN: When did you take that? You molested the body?", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: FBI.", "FRANKLIN: Wow, FBI?", "BOOTH: You want to explain how the bruises got on that body?", "FRANKLIN: The infusion of embalming fluid increases the stainability of bruises on the dermis. A bruise not seen immediately postmortem often presents itself post-embalming.", "BOOTH: Okay, is it good enough for you?", "BRENNAN: What about the rib breaks?", "FRANKLIN: Rib breaks and sternum cracks, which I noted in his file, were the result of Dr. Reilly's assistant attempting to revive him with CPR after finding him unconscious in his office. May I go? I have more work to do.", "BOOTH: Right, right. Sure, you have to go take care of his mother now, too?", "(Franklin heads downstairs)", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) So, you still think he was translated?", "BRENNAN: Those are not the ribs that would break during CPR.", "BOOTH: Maybe she was just bad at resuscitation.", "BRENNAN: No, Booth, this is translation. We need to do a full examination of the body at the lab.", "BOOTH: But we do not have an injunction.", "(Cut to: Family Room. Hodgins is giving his speech.)", "HODGINS: This is a sad day for all of us, but I think it's important that we remember what we loved about Hank, you know? His sense of humor, of course. He was always quick with a joke, good or bad. Usually bad. But he...(he looks out the window and sees Booth & Brennan carrying Hanks body. He starts to stammer - hoping that no one else will notices them outside.) Oh, my God! Uhhhhh. Oh. My. God, Hank. Hank is... Hank-Hank is...he's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows? Oh. But, uh, uh...(he thows down his glass) Oh..God... Hank. It's not fair, you know? You live life, and we-we... we die. And we don't - we don't love enough, and-and I- I got to not do that anymore 'cause I'm... I...I- I need to live and-and love, and...(Booth and Brennan are finally out of sight) Thank you.", "(Cut to: Outside the funeral home. Booth and Brennan are trying to get Hank's body to the car.)", "BOOTH: Come on... Hurry up, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Why are you telling me to hurry up?", "BOOTH: Just hurry up. Walk with me, okay...?", "CAM: Your Sequoia was, uh...it was blocked so I grabbed Angela's Matrix.", "BRENNAN: Is there enough room?", "CAM: It'll be fine. There's lots of room.", "BOOTH: Here we go, in the car. I got him. Let me just get this stiff in here.", "BRENNAN: Oh, shouldn't we lie him down?", "BOOTH: No, no. You get stopped, you got a dead corpse. This way, he just looks drunk. Okay. One, two, three. Get the legs in. There we go. All right, grab the seatbelt, plug him in. Oh, watch it, Bones. Watch the...Strap him in there, Bones.", "CAM: He looks comfy.", "BOOTH: Okay, you got him. Okay, all right. See you later.", "BRENNAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Aren't you coming with us?", "BOOTH: No, I can't. I got to make sure no one looks in the casket. Okay? Go. Go, go, go, go, go! Go! Drive! Go! What are you waiting for? Go!", "(They drive off)", "(Cut to: Funeral Home. Angela walks up to Hodgins)", "ANGELA: Hey, what-what's going on?", "HODGINS: What-What...What do you mean?", "ANGELA: Your toast? The word loony comes to mind.", "HODGINS: I was moved, and, you know, um, emotional.", "ANGELA: Mm-hmm. Tell me what's going on, Jack.", "AMY VELESKA: I thought his toast was wonderful.", "HODGINS: See? I was just wonderful. That's all.", "AMY VELESKA: We don't love each other enough in this world. At least we don't say it enough. You spoke from the heart.", "ANGELA: You know, they should really make an announcement about this whiskey being 150 proof.", "HODGINS: Amy, you were Dr. Reilly's intern, right?", "AMY VELESKA: Graduate assistant, yes.", "HODGINS: It must have been awful when you found him lying on the office floor.", "ANGELA: Hodgins!", "HODGINS: Was he complaining of chest pains?", "ANGELA: Hodgins, what are you? Possessed by Brennan?", "AMY VELESKA: He was fine all morning. When he left for lunch, I said, \"Have a nice lunch,\" and he said, \"Thank you. You, too.\"", "HODGINS: So, you didn't go to lunch together?", "AMY VELESKA: No, no. He had a lunch meeting. Sushi. I hate sushi. I've heard that the mercury in raw fish can make you stupid.", "HODGINS: Mm, yeah. Uh, who was his lunch meeting with?", "AMY VELESKA: He wouldn't say. I yelled for help, called 911, and tried to get him breathing again until the paramedics got there. (She throws her arms around Hodgins and starts sobbing)", "(Angela and Hodgins have a silent conversation - she is not amused.)", "HODGINS: Oh. Oh, okay. Okay.", "HODGINS: Okay, all right.", "AMY VELESKA: Thank you. I'm going to go freshen up now.", "ANGELA: Mhm.", "HODGINS: Okay. Booth just told me Brennan thinks Hank was murdered, so he helped her steal the body so Cam could take it back to the Jeffersonian to have a look.", "(Cut to: Parlor)", "ANGELA: Hey, you stole the body?", "BOOTH: No, no, no, no, we didn't steal it. You see, we-we borrowed it, okay? Cam and Bones think he was translated.", "ANGELA: Wh-what?", "BOOTH: Translated. It's code for \"murder.\" That's how we're saying it today: translated.", "ANGELA: O- Okay, what if somebody looks in the coffin? That's exactly why I'm here.", "(The door opens and Hanks mother, Anne Reilly, enters)", "ANGELA: Oh, hi, Mrs. Reilly.", "ANNE REILLY: Uh, would you excuse me, please? I... I have a few private things to say to my son before he's cremated.", "BOOTH: That's - uh - really not a great idea right now, ma'am.", "ANNE REILLY:Why?", "BOOTH: Well, there's a...", "ANGELA: The-The fact is, um, the undertaker...Uh, he didn't graduate at the top of his class, so...", "ANNE REILLY: But I just saw Hank earlier.", "ANGELA: Yes. Yes, you did, um, but the-the putty that they use to fill in the face has sort of... melted, and, um, his nose is sort of going to the side. Uh, and his hair is like Hitler.", "BOOTH: Hitler.", "ANNE REILLY: Hitler?", "ANGELA: Listen, I really think it would be best if you let Mr. Tung fix him up before you see your son.", "(Barney enters)", "BARNEY REILLY: There you are.", "ANNE REILLY: Oh, turn around, Barney. We can't see Hank. Not like this.", "BARNEY REILLY: Like what?", "ANNE REILLY: Like Hitler.", "BARNEY REILLY: What?", "ANNE REILLY: Please! We're going! Now!", "BARNEY REILLY: Have you been drinking?", "ANNE REILLY: No.", "BRENNAN: These fractures were definitely not caused by CPR. The breaks are more randomly located, and suggest a sharper impact than a hard push.", "CAM: Yes. He was stabbed. You can see the entry wounds hidden behind trocar buttons. 13 in total. Each one sealing up a cutaneous puncture site, each one caused by a weapon three-eighths of an inch in diameter. Most likely...this: standard medical trocar, used in arterial embalming.", "BRENNAN: Could it just be a poor job of embalming?", "CAM: Impossible. Over half of these are nowhere near a vein. Hank was stabbed seven times with a trocar while he was still alive.", "BRENNAN: So, Hank Reilly had a heart attack, was declared dead by the paramedics and the medical examiner, and then sent to an undertaker...", "CAM: Where he was stabbed to death.", "(Cut to: Booth's Car. Booth, Angela & Franklin are watching Brennan & Cam at the lab)", "BOOTH: You see, what I have here, Franklin, is a real-time video link to the Jeffersonian forensic lab. Huh, so, say hi.", "CAM: Hello. I'm Dr. Camille Saroyan. I'm not sure we met.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: That's Mr. Reilly!", "BRENNAN: Why did you hide all these stab wounds?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: It's my job to make the body presentable. I did my job. I did my job. I did my job!", "BOOTH: Okay, look Mr. Tung, what we need to know is who stabbed Hank Reilly?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: I did! It was me.", "BOOTH: You stabbed the corpse?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: It's crazy. This whole thing is totally crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. I did acid in high school, and it's probably why I'm not a doctor.", "BOOTH: Okay, listen. Just relax. Just tell me what happened, okay?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: It was late. Everyone had gone home, and the body had just come in. I had cleaned and disinfected him, and was about to administer the pre-injection to flush his veins before I began the arterial embalming. I went in through the right femoral artery. And suddenly - WHAM - His eyes opened. His body jerks up and spasms.", "CAM: You panicked and stabbed him?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: It was a reflex. I...Have you seen those zombie movies? They can really warp you.", "BOOTH: Okay, you watched zombie movies on acid?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: I was scared.", "CAM: I get it. Sometimes I'm here in the middle of the night, and I swear I see one of these bodies move. (they all look at her like she's crazy too.) Let me just say, I totally get that.", "BOOTH: Okay, guys, listen, was Hank Reilly dead or alive?", "CAM: It wasn't a full autopsy. No need, because he was declared dead by the hospital. Cause seemed reasonable, so the ME just signed off on it.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Can I go?", "BOOTH: No. You can't go.", "BOOTH: Listen, Cam, how is it that a guy can appear dead to two sets of medical professionals?", "BRENNAN: There are several forms of paralysis which mimic death.", "CAM: Embalming would have destroyed any trace of paralytic toxins in his system. Except..a trace amount of the toxin may still be found in the vitreous humor of the eye.", "(Cam grabs a needle and inserts it into the corpse - Booth closes the screen)", "BOOTH: All right, let's go You can go. Come on. Out.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Brennan and Cam are at the lab)", "CAM: Vitreous humor tests positive for tetrodotoxin. One hundred times more lethal than potassium cyanide. Naturally occurring.", "BRENNAN: But he wasn't dead.", "CAM: Yet. That occurs anywhere from 20 minutes to eight hours after ingestion. Until then, heart and respiratory rates mimic death. Tung hits a nerve while tapping the femoral, Reilly bolts up, still in a coma.", "BRENNAN: And Franklin Tung stabs and kills him.", "CAM: But somebody else poisoned him first.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Brennan is filling the group in on their findings)", "BRENNAN: Hank Reilly was in a paralytic state mimicking death when Franklin Tung inserted the trocar, causing Hank Reilly to spasm in such a way that he actually sat up on the embalming table.", "BOOTH: Ah, so technically, Franklin Tung committed manslaughter, while somebody else committed attempted murder?", "HODGINS: What did you find at the lab?", "BOOTH: Tetrus hydrogen.", "BRENNAN: Tetrodotoxin.", "BOOTH: That's what I said!", "HODGINS: Tetrodotoxin does have limited medical uses as a treatment for some cardiac arrhythmias.", "BRENNAN: Hank had a congenital heart condition.", "BOOTH: So is this tetrahockalin thing common?", "BRENNAN & HODGINS: Tetrodotoxin.", "BOOTH: That's what I said.", "HODGINS: It's a controlled substance.", "BRENNAN: Angela, maybe you could access the FDC database, see if Hank was ever prescribed tetrodotoxin.", "ANGELA: I need a computer.", "BOOTH: Use mine. Come on, in the car. Come on. Come on. Come on. Okay.", "BOOTH: Anybody comes in here, do not let them look in that casket. Do you understand? All right?", "(Cut to: Angela and Booth in Booth's Car)", "ANGELA: So, while I'm in here, you mind if I erase a few parking tickets?", "BOOTH: No, I'll tell you what. You know, I'm not gonna relax until we get Hank's body back in that casket. All right?", "ANGELA: Here's something.", "BOOTH: What?", "ANGELA: Three milligrams of tetrodotoxin was delivered to the Jeffersonian three weeks ago.", "BOOTH: Wait a second. Hank had his heart medicine delivered to work?", "ANGELA: Uh, no. It wasn't Hank. Delivery was accepted by Dr. Jonah Amayo in Caribbean Studies.", "(Cut to: Hallway inside the residence. Booth and Brennan run into Dr. Amayo)", "BRENNAN: Oh, Dr. Amayo, I'd like you to meet my associate, Seeley Booth.", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: I'm aware, Dr. Brennan. The two of you are fairly well known.", "BOOTH: Right. Dr. Brennan tells me the Jeffersonian is shutting down your department after this quarter.", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: I'm sure you've heard of this thing called the economy which is in another thing called the toilet.", "BRENNAN: You were going to have to report to Hank Reilly?", "BOOTH: Until he died, and everything went back to normal.", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: You think I'm happy Hank died? He was my best friend.", "BRENNAN: Why did you order three milligrams of tetrodotoxin?", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: Why are you interrogating me?", "BOOTH: I work with the FBI. See, that's what I do.", "SWEETS: Hey, where have you guys been?", "BOOTH: Not now, Sweets, please.", "BRENNAN: Your field is the anthropological study of Caribbean culture. How does a Class 1 neurotoxin assist with that?", "SWEETS: Oh, I got it! Uh, neurotoxins are widely believed to cause the trance state in reported cases of Haitian zombism. Am I right? I'm right, right?", "BRENNAN: Zombies? There are no such things as zombies; just an island superstition.", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.", "BOOTH: She does that to everyone.", "SWEETS: Dr. Amayo's work in voodoo and Santeria is fascinating. And a little scary.", "DR. JONAH AMAYO: You, you people need to work on your small talk skills. Excuse me.", "SWEETS: Whoa, what was that all about?", "HODGINS: Fugu.", "SWEETS: That's really not very nice.", "HODGINS: Tetrodotoxin is biologically derived from tetraodontidae. Puffer fish.", "BOOTH: So... what?", "BRENNAN: It's a Japanese delicacy known as \"fugu.\"", "HODGINS: Hank Reilly had sushi for lunch at a place called Sushi Momo. King of the Funeral!", "BOOTH: Right.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Booth handcuffs Franklin to the casket)", "BOOTH: So, nobody looks inside the casket. Okay, Mr. Tung?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: How do I do that?", "BOOTH: Just, um...Well, Bones, how does he do that?", "BRENNAN: Say someone enters and desires to gaze upon the visage of their dead relative one more time in a vain effort to say good-bye to someone who can neither see nor hear them because there's no such thing as a soul or spirit....", "BOOTH: Bones, Bones, Bones, just give him a reason not to show the body.", "BRENNAN: \"We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment and the body is not available for viewing just now.\"", "FRANKLIN TUNG: I would never phrase it that way.", "BOOTH: I know, it's perfect! It's so gross!", "(Brennan's phone rings)", "BRENNAN: Brennan.", "(Cam is on the phone at the Jeffersonian)", "CAM: I'm done. I'm going to need some transport for me and my friend.", "BRENNAN: (to Cam) What friend?", "CAM: I meant Hank. I was being oblique.", "BRENNAN: Oh, right after we get back from sushi.", "CAM: \"Sushi\"? You're going for sushi?!", "BOOTH: Bones!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Sushi Momo)", "BOOTH: So do you serve puffer fish?", "BRENNAN: Fugu.", "TRACI NISHIMURA: Blowfish? No, we aren't licensed.", "BRENNAN: We're investigating a tetrodotoxin poisoning.", "BOOTH: Fugu.", "TRACI NISHIMURA: We do not serve fugu. I promise. Did someone die who ate at my restaurant?", "BRENNAN: Dr. Hank Reilly.", "TRACI NISHIMURA: Hank? He just had lunch with us the other day.", "BRENNAN:Do you know who he ate lunch with?", "TRACI NISHIMURA: It was a woman. She told him something, and he got very upset.", "BOOTH: Can you tell us anything else about her?", "TRACI NISHIMURA: Not really. She had a haircut like Cleopatra.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Franklin is trying to get out of the handcuffs.)", "SWEETS: Excuse me. I'm, uh, I'm looking for my friends.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: I apologize, but we are encountering some slight fluid seepage at the moment, and the body will not be available for viewing just now.", "SWEETS: Sir...I'm a trained psychologist; you're obviously under a lot of strain.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: You might say that.", "SWEETS: You know, dealing with grief and loss every day can take its toll.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: You have no idea.", "SWEETS: In some cases, one might even take responsibility for the death, as if it were their own fault.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Are you messing with me?", "SWEETS: No. No, no. I'm just saying I understand. Human behavior can surprise us all. You might think that you have everything under control, and then, boom, blindsided by the unknown.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Totally.", "SWEETS: It's perfectly natural. Okay, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.", "SWEETS: Were you very close to the deceased?", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Yeah, but...I'm a lot closer to his wife.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan, outside the Reilly Residence)", "BRENNAN: We'll be there as soon as we can.", "CAM: Everybody was all \"Hurry up, Cam.\" Now, I'm twiddling my thumbs here with a stolen body. I can't lug him back on my own.", "BOOTH: We'll come and get you right after we talk to Cleopatra.", "(Cut to: funeral home)", "BOOTH: Have you seen the woman that looks like Cleopatra?", "SWEETS: What's going on? What's - I sense that you two are holding something back. (Brennan and Booth look like they're about to protest) Yes. Yes. You are.", "BRENNAN: Okay, we stole Hank's body in order to confirm that he was murdered..", "BOOTH: Translated.", "BRENNAN: ...translated.", "SWEETS: You're totally yanking my chain.", "BOOTH: No. The undertaker stabbed him.", "SWEETS: Wait, the same undertaker that's been telling everyone that the body's been leaking?", "BOOTH: Mhmm.", "SWEETS: Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about. I didn't... I didn't know.", "BOOTH: Oh, that's great. You know what? If you want to help out, go find Hodgins, bring him back to the lab, get the body and bring it back into the casket without anyone noticing it.", "SWEETS: Wait. What?! Why?", "BRENNAN: So that the poisoner doesn't figure out what we're up to and run away.", "SWEETS: There's a poisoner and a stabber?", "BOOTH: Shh! Shh! Stop. Shut up! Shh!", "SWEETS: Sorry. I'm sorry.", "BOOTH: All right? Stop.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", "BOOTH: Go.", "(Cut to: Inside the Rielly House. Booth & Brennan are looking into the kitchen at a woman who looks like Cleopatra.)", "BOOTH: Can you get lost?", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Okay.", "(Brennan leaves and Booth enters the kitchen, where Erin Miller - the Reilly Estate Lawyer, is.", "BOOTH: We haven't really met. I don't know too many people around here.", "ERIN MILLER: I'm Erin Miller.", "BOOTH: Hey, Seeley Booth.", "ERIN MILLER: I'm the Reilly family's estate lawyer.", "BOOTH: Oh...right, right. You mind?", "ERIN MILLER: Sure.", "BOOTH: You had lunch with Hank the day that he died. That must have been terrible.", "ERIN MILLER: Yeah. It was terrible. It wasn't a very pleasant lunch.", "BOOTH: You guys argued?", "ERIN MILLER: Yeah, but, you know, not personally. Lawyer stuff. I can't really discuss it.", "BOOTH: No, no, of course not. But you do know that, uh, professional arguments don't count in a situation like this.", "ERIN MILLER: They don't?", "BOOTH: No. If it was just business, there's nothing to be guilty about. Hank would totally understand.", "ERIN MILLER: Well, thank you, Mr. Booth.", "BOOTH: You're welcome.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab.)", "SWEETS: Wow. He's really dead.", "CAM: That happens here - in the autopsy room.", "HODGINS: Hey, bud, someday you'll have your last lunch, too.", "SWEETS: Yeah, but the thing is, they don't usually look like people after you get your hands on them.", "CAM: Thank you so much. Okay, ready? One, two, three. ( they lift the corpse onto the gurney) By the way, Hank wasn't killed by his lunch.", "HODGINS: What? Wait, it wasn't the fugu in his hand roll?", "CAM: No. Toxin slowed his digestion, and the remains were well preserved by the formaldehyde and ethanol. Tuna, salmon, yellow tail, and eel cut roll.", "HODGINS: Really? What did he have for breakfast?", "SWEETS: His wife said Hank didn't eat breakfast, just a cup of tea.", "CAM: Well, I did find some stray tea leaves. His strainer must not have worked very well.", "SWEETS: He still has a face. He's smiling. A bit too much, maybe.", "CAM: Hey, I'm a pathologist, not an undertaker. I did the best I could. Adjust his smile; be my guest.", "HODGINS: If there wasn't any sign of poison in the food in his stomach, then it had to have come from his morning tea.", "CAM: Probably the best way to deliver poison.", "(Cut to: funeral parlor. Everyone is standing around in the Family Room singing \"Amazing Grace\".)", "BOOTH: See, Cleopatra there is the, uh, family estate lawyer. She handles the mother's will.", "BRENNAN: She argued with Hank Reilly at his last lunch.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm. Business. My guess: problems with the will.", "BRENNAN: Oh, you mean, because the old lady is so close to death?", "BOOTH: Yeah, it's not the nicest way of putting it, Bones, but yeah.", "BRENNAN: Well, look at her, Booth. It's amazing that she can still stand.", "BOOTH: There are two heirs to the money when she dies. There's Hank and his brother, Barney.", "BRENNAN: Oh, do you think Barney killed Hank?", "BOOTH: Why don't you go ask him?", "BRENNAN: Why? Is it because I'm an attractive and sexy, young woman who will loosen his tongue?", "BOOTH: Oh, definitely, of course there's that. But also, he wants you to publish his book. Go ahead.", "(Brennan goes over by Barney and starts singing Amazing Grace)", "BRENNAN: \"...I'm found. Was blind but now I see.\"", "BARNEY REILLY: What a lovely voice you have, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I know. Please call me Temperance. So, um... tell me about your book.", "BARNEY REILLY: Well, Temperance, uh...the latest one is called \"Dark Tactical\". A real nail-biter. A deadly game of cat-and-mouse between two SWAT guys. One's good; the other isn't. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in presenting to your publisher?", "BRENNAN: No.", "BARNEY REILLY: Too edgy, huh?", "BRENNAN: (Booth clears his throat as a hint) The concept is contrived and tired. (Booth coughs louder) That's what my publisher would say, but in reality, it's...", "BARNEY REILLY: Too edgy?", "BRENNAN: Too ed... yes. Perhaps you should publish your novel yourself?", "BARNEY REILLY: Well, I can't afford that.", "BRENNAN: You have an inheritance coming.", "BARNEY REILLY: Well, that's true. The whole thing, too.", "BRENNAN: You mean instead of splitting it with Hank?", "BARNEY REILLY: Splitting it? Oh, you mean in half? No way. Me and Hank were stepbrothers. Hardly any of it was coming to me. 90% was going to Hank and Helen. Nothing Mom could do about it either.", "BRENNAN: What about now?", "BARNEY REILLY: Well, half to Helen, half to me. (then the realization hits) I can publish my book. To Hank Reilly.", "(Cut to: Helen and Amy arguing)", "HELEN REILLY: Admit it. Just admit it!", "AMY VELESKA: Helen, please.", "HELEN REILLY: Stop this. Don't you call me \"Helen,\" you little tramp. I am Mrs. Reilly to you. Mrs. Hank Reilly.", "AMY VELESKA: Please. Hank is gone.", "HELEN REILLY: I know he's gone! He was my husband! Which is why I am Mrs. Hank's Reilly, and you are Mr. Hank's skank.", "AMY VELESKA: Then show him some respect for once in your life!", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) What is going on?", "BOOTH: Just normal funeral stuff.", "HELEN REILLY: Oh, so you respected my husband, is that it?", "(Hodgins walks over to the window and sees Cam and Sweets bringing back the body)", "AMY VELESKA: Of course I respected him.", "HELEN REILLY: I see. And exactly how many times a week did you respect him?", "AMY VELESKA: This is not the time nor the place, Helen.", "HELEN REILLY: Get out of my house. Go back to your one-bedroom brothel and die.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Hodgins runs in the room and opens the window to help to get the body back in.)", "CAM: Okay. Go, go, go.", "HODGINS: Come on. Come on. Come on.", "CAM: Get his legs.", "Sweets: Okay.", "CAM: Okay.", "SWEETS: Got 'em?", "HODGINS: Down, down.", "CAM: Shh, shh, shh. Good.", "HODGINS: Can you do this without me?", "SWEETS: What?", "CAM: Why?", "HODGINS: (points to Franklin) Yeah, he'll help you.", "(The body falls over)", "(Cut to: Family Room. Helen & Amy are still going at it.)", "HELEN REILLY: You were nothing to him.", "AMY VELESKA: Then why did he want to make love to me and not you?", "BARNEY REILLY: Hank, you are my hero.", "BOOTH: Hey, how about a little help here? Seriously, you really want to watch them fight? Hey, hold it, hey, hey! Come on, easy. Hold it! Hold it! Hold it. Do you think this is the way Hank would want to see his wake end? No. This isn't about you or you or you or you. This is about him. It's about Hank. You think he'd want to see this?", "BARNEY REILLY: I'm pretty sure he would, especially if they were in Jell-O.", "BOOTH: He wouldn't want to see us fight. He'd want us to... sing.", "(Booth starts singing \"Swing Low Sweet Chariot\" - everyone starts in singing with him)", "BOOTH: Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me - Hank - home. Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home.", "(Cut to: Kitchen. Brennan & Hodgins are looking for tea bags)", "BRENNAN: Only loose tea? No bags?", "HODGINS: No bags. Cam found loose tea leaves in the stomach contents.", "BRENNAN: Here's another one. Malty Orange Assam.", "HODGINS: Throw it in there. We'll test it for the fugu poison.", "(Cut to: Family Room. Booth is still leading everyone in song - but now they're all dancing too. Everyone is getting into it - even Booth.)", "BOOTH: Comin' for to carry Hank home.", "ERIN MILLER: Sing it, brother.", "BOOTH: Oh, my friends, I'll be coming to ya soon..", "EVERYONE: Comin' for to carry me. Hey, hey. Swing low, sweet chariot...", "(Cut to: Kitchen. Brennan & Hodgins.)", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "(They test another type of tea - and the liquid turns purple)", "BRENNAN: Hank Reilly was killed by a cup of tea.", "(Cut to: Parlor. Cam adjusts Hank's smile.)", "CAM: Do you think he's smiling too much? I think he just looks like he's enjoying the party.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: His funeral? Where are his glasses?", "CAM: He wore glasses? Oh, God.", "ERIN MILLER: Before I leave, could I say a little something to Hank now?", "SWEETS: Yeah, sure. Step right on up.", "ERIN MILLER: He looks...Happy. (to Franklin) You did a wonderful job.", "FRANKLIN TUNG: Thank you.", "(Cut to: Dining room. Booth & Brennan are questioning Helen.)", "HELEN REILLY: How should I know what kind of tea Hank drank that morning?", "BRENNAN: You said you brewed it for him every day, part of your routine.", "HELEN REILLY: That was in the eulogy speech. No one tells the truth in a eulogy speech.", "BOOTH: All right, well, then who did make his tea?", "HELEN REILLY: Hank did it himself. The water had to be the perfect temperature. Hank was very particular about his tea. If there's nothing else, I'm exhausted.", "(Cut to: Booth's car. He's driving everyone back from the wake.)", "BOOTH: His wife was cheating on him.", "BRENNAN: He cheated on her.", "BOOTH: The assistant is still in play.", "BRENNAN: What about the lawyer?", "BOOTH: Oh, she seemed very nice. (Brennan gives him a look.) Yeah, all right. So we are far from an arrest here. Understand, people?", "BRENNAN: Well, at least we got Franklin Tung.", "BOOTH: He didn't mean to kill anyone.That's the... Cam? You here?", "CAM: What? I'm sorry. This smoking thing with Michele...How do people be parents?", "BOOTH: Do you ever think that this is her way of trying to stop you from smoking?", "BRENNAN: No - Cam doesn't smoke, right?", "BOOTH: You stop, she'll stop. It's that simple. Plus, you know what? She's doing you a favor.", "CAM: Great, so I go from a smoking issue to a chocolate cake and ice cream issue?", "BOOTH: You know what? You just... you give your best shot and that's all.", "BRENNAN: Nobody knows about the poison in the tea except us, right?", "BOOTH: The murderer does.", "BRENNAN: When crops failed, the ancient Pothigai in southern India believed that one of them might be possessed by an evil spirit. They would find out which one by passing around a poison which would kill only demons. The person who refused to drink the poison was proven possessed.", "CAM: Okay, is this another way to get me to quit smoking? Because it's done. I quit.", "BOOTH: You know what? You are a genius, Bones. Absolute genius!", "BRENNAN: I know.", "(Cut to: Graveyard. Hank's Funeral)", "PREIST: ..and though the human remains of Henry Reilly will not physically rest here, his soul will remain with the generations of his family here and in heaven.", "BRENNAN: Oh, I'd like to add something. I missed my chance at the wake. I'd like to make up for it.", "PRIEST: No objections from the family?", "BRENNAN: Hank Reilly specialized in Egyptian embalming rituals and practices. He was an expert in grieving. (the rest of the group starts handing out cups to the people at the funeral and fills then with tea) Hank would appreciate nothing more than the most common of funerary practices: the raising of a glass. It's not alcohol, but an even more ancient drink: tea. Hank's greatest passion, aside from s*x. I took the liberty of bringing this tea from Hank's personal stash. The same tea he drank on his last day with all of us. I can think of no better way of saying \"adieu\" than to share one last cup of tea with Hank. (she raises her glass) To Hank.", "ALL: To Hank.", "ANNE REILLY: No!", "(She knocks the cup out of Barney's hand)", "BARNEY REILLY: Mom, watch what you're doing!", "BOOTH: You poisoned your own son?", "BARNEY REILLY: What? Mom, what's going on?", "ANNE REILLY: He wasn't my son. It wasn't fair of your father. He work it so you got nothing. He got everything.", "ERIN MILLER:You killed Hank? Oh, this is my fault.", "CAM: Oh, God. This is why I hate funerals.", "ANGELA: This is why I love them.", "ERIN MILLER: I told Hank that Annie was trying to get around the will by siphoning money into a separate trust for Barney. But it was illegal.", "ANNE REILLY: If you'd kept your nosy trap shut, Hank would still be alive. (Talking to the headstone) Bob, this is all your fault. You brought this on yourself. Do what you're going to do. What's the worst that could happen?", "(Cut to: Graveyard - 5 Day Later. They're standing in front of a grave - ANNE REILLY)", "BARNEY REILLY: Oh, Mom, Mom, Mom...", "BOOTH: One thing for sure, Barney, your mother loved you.", "BRENNAN: She used her own heart medicine to kill your brother, so you would get your fair share. She mixed it in his tea.", "BARNEY REILLY: And she died because she ran out of her medicine killing him. Oh, Ma...I would've done fine. Hank, I didn't want the money this way. I know you would have done right by me.", "(Brennan is looking up at the sky and looks like she might start in about something...)", "BOOTH: (mouthing) Bones, don't.", "BARNEY REILLY: I know it.", "BOOTH: (mouthing) Bones...", "BARNEY REILLY: Would you excuse me, please?", "BOOTH: Of course.", "(Booth & Brennan walk away.)", "BOOTH: He wants to be alone with his mother and brother.", "BRENNAN: By that way of thinking, he wants to be alone with every person who has ever died.", "BOOTH: If I die, I want you to do me a favor.", "BRENNAN: Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable.", "BOOTH: All right, whatever, Bones. When I inevitably drop dead before you, I'd like you to come out and, you know, spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'll feel foolish knowing that you can't hear me.", "BOOTH: Promise me.", "BRENNAN: I promise.", "BOOTH: Hey! There you go, huh? Hey, you agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?", "BRENNAN: I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment. Also, speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes - again temporarily - and I think that would make me live my life more successfully.", "BOOTH: Hmm, you know what, Bones? That is the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.", "BRENNAN: I'll say it at your wake.", "BOOTH: Oh, it's raining now. Come on. Get under the umbrella. It's raining. Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, no problem.", "BOOTH: All right? Maybe, ah, you know, leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.", "BRENNAN: No. I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you'd start to smell.", "END." ]

[ "When the head of Sachi Nakamura, the sister of Booth's friend, is discovered in Washington, D.C., her brother Ken, a detective from Tokyo, flies in to aid the search for his sister's killer. The investigation leads to an elite escort service, and the team must race against the clock when Sachi's roommate is missing as well." ]

[ "\"The Girl in the Mask\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "[OPEN: INT. ROYAL DINER - DAY. BRENNAN is showing BOOTH files on her interns.]", "BRENNAN: Overall, Clark is the most astute and experienced.", "BOOTH: Ah, so hire him.", "BRENNAN: (changing files) Wendell has the most potential, and he has an excellent work ethic.", "BOOTH: Plus, you know, he's somewhat normal.", "BRENNAN: Well, that's what you like. (changing files) Vincent is the most intelligent.", "BOOTH: Well, that's what you like, so you should hire him. I mean, this person's going to be your right-hand man.", "BRENNAN: Well, I've decided to take your opinion into account as I make this decision.", "BOOTH: Really?", "BRENNAN: I'm making an effort.", "[BOOTH's phone rings.]", "BOOTH: Well. (into phone) Booth.", "[CUT TO: EXT. TOKYO, JAPAN - ALLEY - NIGHT. KEN NAKAMURA is sitting at an outdoor eatery.]", "KEN NAKAMURA: Agent Booth, this is Sergeant Nakamura.", "BOOTH: Nake! My friend Nake with the sake! How's it hanging?", "NAKAMURA: I'm afraid they are not hanging well, Booth.", "BOOTH: What's wrong?", "NAKAMURA: My sister has not returned my calls. It has been five days.", "BOOTH: Okay, look, we all know how overly protective you are of Sachi. Your sister-", "NAKAMURA: You're a cop like me, Booth. She calls every day. Something's wrong.", "BOOTH: Okay, so why are you telling me?", "NAKAMURA: 'Cause I'm in Tokyo.", "BOOTH: Oh, Sachi's here in D.C.?", "NAKAMURA: Almost two months. (getting agitated) She told me she called you. She has not called you?", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, just relax, all right? 21-year-old girl probably doesn't want her brother's friend cramping her style.", "NAKAMURA: If I fly in, can you help me look for her?", "BOOTH: I'll tell you what. Just text me her information, I'll track her down and I'll make her call you. Okay? I promise.", "NAKAMURA: Arigato. (Translation: Thank you.)", "BOOTH: Dewa mata. (Translation: See you later.)", "NAKAMURA: Dewa mata, Booth.", "[BOOTH and NAKAMURA hang up.]", "[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH'S SUV - DAY. BOOTH is driving. BRENNAN is in the passenger's seat. A call has been placed to DET. RICK FRAME.]", "DET. RICK FRAME: Detective Frame.", "BOOTH: Hey, Rick, it's Booth. Listen, I'm looking for a little interagency cooperation.", "RICK: What do you need?", "BOOTH: Hey, has there been any action on a Japanese national, legal entry named Sachi Nakamura? Female, age 21?", "RICK: Uh, give me a minute.", "BRENNAN: (to BOOTH) When were you in Japan?", "BOOTH: A few years ago on an exchange program with the Tokyo police. Nak's a great guy, man. He and his sister, you know, they made me feel like family.", "BRENNAN: But he's overprotective?", "BOOTH: He worries. Every parent does.", "BRENNAN: (confused) But he's her brother.", "BOOTH: Raised his little sister after his parents died. That makes him a parent.", "RICK: I got a hit on your girl. A car registered to her was found abandoned near Tillbrook Salt Marshes.", "[BOOTH winces.]", "BRENNAN: Salt marshes. That's a pretty popular place to dump a body, Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (turns on police sirens)", "[CUT TO: EXT. TILLBROOK SALT MARSHES - NIGHT. Workers are moving about. BOOTH and BRENNAN pull up in the SUV. They exit the vehicle and walk up to OFFICER LISA KOPEK.]", "BOOTH: Hey, I'm Special Agent- OFFICER LISA KOPEK: (interrupting) Booth. Yeah. Detective Frame told me to wait on you before I had this vehicle towed.", "BRENNAN: Well, that was nice of him.", "KOPEK: I'm Officer Lisa Kopek. Car is registered to Sachi Nakamura, 311 Ring Road, here on a work visa from Tokyo, Japan. I printed her visa photo. (hands SACHI NAKAMURA's visa photo to BOOTH)", "BRENNAN: (studying the car) This is blood on the upholstery.", "KOPEK: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Any sign of the girl?", "KOPEK: No.", "BOOTH: Damn.", "KOPEK: Yeah. Checked her residence; it's empty. Looks like it's been that way a couple days. Also no sign of her roommate, Nozomi Sato. (hands NOZOMI SATO's visa photo to BOOTH) Ms. Sato's here on a lapsed student visa. (beat) I got a request in for cadaver dogs.", "[BRENNAN has made her way into the marsh.]", "BOOTH: (running after BRENNAN) Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bones, what we usually do here is wait for people in rubber boots.", "BRENNAN: I see something... BOOTH: (hesitating at the edge of the water) I just-I just got these shoes, so...", "[BRENNAN approaches something in the water.]", "BOOTH: What is it, a body?", "BRENNAN: No, it's some kind of mask.", "BOOTH: Okay, Bones, come on, get out of there. Let's go.", "BRENNAN: (lifting the mask) Booth?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: There's flesh in the mask. Human head.", "KOPEK: Is she serious?", "BOOTH: Yeah, always.", "BRENNAN: And Booth? This mask appears to be Japanese in design.", "OPENING CREDITS", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. BRENNAN, HODGINS and CAM are studying the skull.]", "BRENNAN: Based on the weak prominence of the arcus superciliaris, the victim is female. The head was decapitated between C5 and C6 vertebrae.", "CAM: Judging from decomp and discoloration, I'd estimate the head was in the pond a minimum of four days.", "BRENNAN: Can you confirm decapitation as cause of death?", "CAM: Nope, victim was in the water too long. The blood leached out.", "HODGINS: There's trace lodged deep in the striae. The blade could have transferred particulates from the ground into the wound tract when it was withdrawn from the bone.", "[Enter ANGELA.]", "ANGELA: (to BRENNAN) Hey, Sweetie, Booth is in your office. He's got some people with him.", "BRENNAN: Thanks.", "[Exit BRENNAN.]", "ANGELA: (groans) Just when I thought it couldn't get worse.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - BRENNAN'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN finds BOOTH already present with KEN NAKAMURA and DR. HARU TANAKA.]", "BOOTH: Bones, this here is Sachi Nakamura's brother Ken.", "BRENNAN: (bows) Hajimemashite. Oai dekite kouei desu. (Rough translation: Greetings. It is an honor to meet you.)", "NAKAMURA: The honor is mine, Dr. Brennan. (bows) May I present to you... (turns toward DR. HARU TANAKA)", "BRENNAN: I know. Dr. Haru Tanaka. The Emperor awarded Dr. Tanaka the Grand Cordon of the Order of the Rising Sun for Dr. Tanaka's paper on investigation of second, fourth and eighth sternal rib end variations related to age estimation. It was brilliant. (bows)", "DR. HARU TANAKA: (bows) I am honored to meet you. Everyone in the field accepts that you are the best.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I know. (bows)", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) I told Ken and the doctor that they can aid in the investigation.", "BRENNAN: That is against protocol, Booth.", "BOOTH: (quietly) Bones, this could be his sister.", "BRENNAN: I would enjoy working with Dr. Tanaka. (bows)", "[NAKAMURA and TANAKA bow.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. BRENNAN and TANAKA are studying the skull while CAM, BOOTH and NAKAMURA observe.]", "BOOTH: You gonna be okay with this?", "NAKAMURA: I am fine.", "TANAKA: There is a contact wound inferior to the mandible, exiting slightly anterior to the Bregma point.", "BRENNAN: That would be consistent with a gunshot wound.", "BOOTH: (approaching the examination table) Bones, maybe you should just jump ahead and I.D. the victim.", "TANAKA: Maxilla and zygomatic conform to her photograph.", "[CAM appears uncomfortable and looks at NAKAMURA, who seems troubled. TANAKA loosens the skull's jawbone and turns the opening toward BRENNAN.]", "BRENNAN: The palate is fractured but appears parabolic with a straight suture across the palatine bone, indicating that she was a native Japanese speaker. (turning to NAKAMURA) Did your sister have any kind of distinctive facial scarring or dental work?", "NAKAMURA: When Sachi was eight, she fell doing gymnastics, broke her jaw. It was wired for two months.", "BRENNAN: (studying the jaw) Impact fracture from a fall. Remodeling of the jaw suggests that it occurred prior to puberty. (turning to NAKAMURA) I feel comfortable identifying the remains as your sister. I'm very sorry.", "NAKAMURA: Thank you. (beat) If you would excuse me.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HALLWAY - DAY. BOOTH approaches NAKAMURA from behind.]", "BOOTH: Hey, Nak, listen. I have agents looking for Sachi's roommate. There's a chance the roommate may have seen something.", "NAKAMURA: (strained) Yes. Good.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, Nak.", "NAKAMURA: (turning to BOOTH) You have a child. You know it was my responsibility to keep her safe. She was 21, but still a child.", "BOOTH: All right, come on, let me get you back to the hotel. You get some rest.", "NAKAMURA: Not until we find who did this.", "BOOTH: I hear you, Nak, but we need a lead, something we can go on.", "NAKAMURA: Sachi was going to move back to Japan. (takes out card with photos of SACHI and hands it to BOOTH) But the man who took these pictures said he could make her a model.", "BOOTH: Okay, there's something. Right? (pats NAKAMURA on the shoulder)", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. A mask sits atop a stand. Enter SWEETS, HODGINS, ANGELA and TANAKA, who all gather around the mask.]", "SWEETS: Whoa, this is like one of those big-eyed paintings they sell at the mall.", "TANAKA: Uh, the mask is based on anime design.", "ANGELA: Japanese animation.", "HODGINS: (sarcastically) So, someone had it out for a cartoon character?", "TANAKA: No, this is original. Uh, not representing any of the well-known characters: Sailor Moon, Faye Valentine, Motoko.", "SWEETS: The mask could have been used by the killer to dehumanize the victim, allowing whoever decapitated her to distance himself from the ugly reality of her death.", "TANAKA: Hmm, you are entering the realm of psychology, a field of unverifiable speculation. Perhaps I can be of further help to Dr. Brennan. (bows)", "[Exit TANAKA.]", "SWEETS: (offended) Sometimes I hate hard science. I know that seems immature, but that's just how I feel.", "ANGELA: So any guesses?", "HODGINS: We don't really have enough evidence yet.", "ANGELA: No, not the case. The doctor. (steps toward doorway where TANAKA had exited, mischievously) Dude or dudette?", "[SWEETS and HODGINS exchange looks.]", "SWEETS: I don't know.", "HODGINS: I... (shrugs)", "[CUT TO: INT. MICAH STRUTT'S STUDIO - DAY. BOOTH and NAKAMURA enter.]", "BOOTH: Now remember, Nak, this is my investigation. You're just a tourist.", "NAKAMURA: Just a tourist.", "MICAH STRUTT: (approaching) Micah Strutt. How can I help you?", "BOOTH: (flashes his badge) FBI. I'd like to ask you a few questions about Sachi Nakamura and Nozomi Sato.", "STRUTT: Sure. They were the roommates, right? Nice kids.", "BOOTH: When did you see them last?", "STRUTT: Must be about a couple months now. They came in for a shoot.", "[NAKAMURA has made his way toward a large poster with a photo of two scantily-clad women. BOOTH follows.]", "BOOTH: (reading off poster) Pappa Puffs.", "STRUTT: Yeah, the girls worked there.", "NAKAMURA: You made them pose like this?", "STRUTT: Me? No. That was their idea. They convinced their boss to do some advertising, but he went postal when he saw the proofs. That old jerk fired them for this. The 21st century, who cares about a little skin, right?", "[NAKAMURA turns around angrily. BOOTH steps in front of him.]", "BOOTH: He does. That's his sister.", "[CUT TO: INT. PAPPA PUFFS TEA HOUSE - DAY. Strangely-dressed workers and patrons are moving about. BOOTH and NAKAMURA walk in.]", "BOOTH: (looking around) Hey, I feel like someone slipped something into my coffee, huh?", "NAKAMURA: Fashion is the way the Japanese youth rebel against traditional social roles.", "BOOTH: What is with the, uh, \"amaloli\" girls? I never expected to see the, uh, \"Sweet Lolitas\" here in the States.", "NAKAMURA: The culture follows the youth. It's just innocent role playing. Usually.", "BOOTH: (noticing a masked patron at the back) Nak... NAKAMURA: I see.", "BOOTH: (to a cook) Excuse me. You the owner?", "BRUCE TAKEDO: Why do you ask?", "BOOTH: (flashes his badge) FBI.", "[TAKEDO returns to his work, ignoring BOOTH.]", "NAKAMURA: (in Japanese) I am sorry to bother you. My name is Ken Nakamura. (bows)", "TAKEDO: Takedo Bruce. (bows)", "NAKAMURA: We need your help. (to BOOTH) As a tourist.", "BOOTH We'd like to ask you a few questions about Sachi Nakamura and her friend Nozomi.", "TAKEDO: Are Sachi and Nozomi in trouble?", "BOOTH: Well, Sachi is dead and Nozomi is missing.", "TAKEDO: (surprised by the news) I've known them since they started coming for the tea parties. They were anime girls. I gave them jobs.", "BOOTH: (takes out a picture of the mask found at the marsh and holds it out to TAKEDO) Is this the, uh, mask that, uh, Sachi was wearing to the parties?", "TAKEDO: No, that's Nozomi's. What happened? Those girls were like family.", "BOOTH: You always fire family?", "TAKEDO: They developed other interests. They didn't belong here anymore. I tried to talk to them, explain what a bad choice they were making.", "NAKAMURA: What are you talking about?", "TAKEDO: The girls started working for an escort service. I couldn't allow that here. Families come here.", "NAKAMURA: (angrily) That's not possible.", "TAKEDO: It's true.", "NAKAMURA: (to BOOTH) Not my sister.", "TAKEDO: Your sister?", "BOOTH: You know the name of the escort service?", "TAKEDO: Elegant Escorts.", "NAKAMURA: (furious) Don't believe you! (in Japanese) MY SISTER IS NOT A PROSTITUTE!", "[BOOTH holds back NAKAMURA. TANAKA picks up his cleaver and holds it out threateningly.]", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (to TAKEDO) Put the cleaver down, pal. Easy. Put it down.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY. CAM is about to experiment on the skull. Enter TANAKA.]", "TANAKA: Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: Dr. Tanaka.", "TANAKA: With your permission, I would like to free the head of tissue.", "CAM: I have a test to perform first.", "[TANAKA bows and turns to leave.]", "CAM: You're welcome to observe.", "TANAKA: (turns back and nods) This is ferrozine?", "CAM: (swabbing the skull) Yes, I'm testing for gunshot residue.", "[CAM places the pad on a petri dish and sprays it with a chemical. Nothing happens.]", "TANAKA: No reaction.", "CAM: Any shot fired within five feet would've left residue.", "TANAKA: (pointing) The angle of entry was steep, exiting at the top of the cranium.", "CAM: Sachi was only five feet tall. Even if her killer was lying on the ground, there'd be residue.", "TANAKA: Perhaps she was coming downstairs.", "CAM: Or maybe standing on the balcony of her apartment? (putting on her mask) Grab some goggles and a mask.", "[TANAKA does so. CAM picks up the skull and places it in a clamp.]", "CAM: Did you know the victim, Dr. Tanaka?", "TANAKA: I met Sachi three times. She and her brother were very close.", "CAM: That's a very big favor to do to Detective Nakamura, coming all the way from Japan.", "TANAKA: I would do anything for him.", "CAM: Okay.", "[CAM starts her medical saw and uses it to cut off the top of the skull. She detaches it from the rest of the skull and places it on a tray.]", "CAM: There. (handing the tray to TANAKA) While I examine the wound track, you can analyze exit trauma.", "TANAKA: Thank you.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HALLWAY - DAY. BRENNAN is walking with NAKAMURA.]", "BRENNAN: Since Booth took you out of the field, I thought perhaps you'd like to consolidate the results of our analysis to convey to Booth.", "[BRENNAN and NAKAMURA enter BRENNAN's office.]", "NAKAMURA: You are trying to make me feel useful.", "BRENNAN: No, I-I don't really do things like that.", "NAKAMURA: I owe you for talking Booth out of sending me home.", "BRENNAN: Wasn't me. Booth is a very empathetic man.", "NAKAMURA: Yes. Are you aware how we met?", "BRENNAN: Um, some kind of exchange program?", "NAKAMURA: Hai. Most of the FBI agents showed up and started telling us how to handle our organized crime problem. Booth said nothing. Two, three days, just listening.", "BRENNAN: He was quiet? That (chuckles) that does not sound like Booth.", "NAKAMURA: Then he asked a question. (approaching BRENNAN's desk) He asked, \"How would you gentlemen handle our organized crime problem?\" He was respectful.", "BRENNAN: That is the basis of your friendship?", "NAKAMURA: That, and a situation incited by a gallon of sake, a police boat, and Uraga Harbor at dawn.", "[BRENNAN laughs.]", "NAKAMURA: You're a lucky woman, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: To work with Booth. I know.", "NAKAMURA: To work with Booth. Yes.", "[CUT TO: INT. ROYAL DINER - DAY.]", "COOK: (handing a plate to WAITRESS) There you go.", "[Enter SWEETS and HODGINS.]", "SWEETS: So the mask didn't belong to the killer; it belonged to Nozomi, Sachi's roommate.", "HODGINS: Okay, so?", "SWEETS: So perhaps the killer wasn't trying to dehumanize his victim.", "HODGINS: (to WAITRESS) Two coffees, please?", "WAITRESS: You got it.", "[HODGINS and SWEETS sit down.]", "HODGINS: Well, maybe he just had a thing for girls in masks. I mean, I get that.", "SWEETS: You do?", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "[SWEETS gives HODGINS a strange look.]", "HODGINS: In an objective, evidentiary way.", "[SWEETS continues to look strangely at HODGINS.]", "HODGINS: (annoyed) You had a point?", "SWEETS: Yeah, I think that the killer was purposely projecting Nozomi's identity onto his murder victim.", "[Enter ANGELA.]", "ANGELA: Hey. So, I googled Tanaka. 300 hits, all Japanese, none with a personal pronoun.", "HODGINS: Maybe we should just ask her.", "ANGELA: Him.", "SWEETS: (groans) You people can identify human remains based on a tiny little finger bone, but you can't judge the s*x of a person standing right in front of you? Does nobody else see the irony in this?", "HODGINS: Of course. But, as a scientist, I also see the challenge.", "SWEETS: Well, Dr. Tanaka identifies with a subset of an urban Japanese aesthetic known as kei.", "[WAITRESS brings them their coffee.]", "SWEETS: (to WAITRESS) Thank you. (turning back to HODGINS and ANGELA) It glorifies androgyny.", "HODGINS: Well, mission accomplished there, Dr. Tanaka.", "ANGELA: You know, I think you're probably right. We should just ask him.", "HODGINS: Her.", "SWEETS: Tanaka won't answer. That's the whole point. Gender is unimportant. We should be mature enough to accept Dr. Tanaka just the way Dr. Tanaka is.", "HODGINS: Yeah, you know what? You're right. Who cares?", "ANGELA: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't really matter what he is.", "HODGINS: She. What she is.", "[ANGELA and HODGINS exchange looks. SWEETS slams the tabletop with both hands, exasperated.]", "[CUT TO: EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. - SIDE OF STREET - DAY. BOOTH is leaning against a car. BRENNAN is standing in front of him. JAMES SOK runs up to them.]", "JAMES SOK: Do you mind? (opens the hood of the car, which belongs to him)", "BOOTH: Yeah, actually, I do. James Sok, right? Elegant Escorts? (flashes his badge)", "SOK: Yeah. So? I run a legitimate business.", "BOOTH: (slams down on the hood of SOK's car, shutting it) You're a pimp. I don't like pimps.", "BRENNAN: He really doesn't.", "BOOTH: No.", "BRENNAN: Your record says that you assaulted Bruce Takedo.", "SOK: Those charges were dropped. Because the guy attacked me (lifting his shirt to show a long scar) with a knife. All I did was protect myself.", "BOOTH: Really? Probably because you were recruiting at his place.", "SOK: Middle-aged guy, surrounds himself with schoolgirls, maybe he's the guy you want to look at.", "BOOTH: Nozomi Sato. (holds out a picture of NOZOMI) You recognize her?", "SOK: Yeah. I like Nozomi.", "BRENNAN: Well, she's missing.", "SOK: Well, most of my models come from Asia. They-they're young, flaky. Sometimes they take off.", "BOOTH: You know, you got a sweet life, Jimmy. You got a houseboat down at the marina. You got cash rolling in. If you want to live your life as my prime suspect in the murder of Sachi Nakamura, that's just fine. But just know, as of right now, your business is done. (taps the top of SOK's car)", "SOK: (unfazed) Or?", "BOOTH: Or you give me something shiny to distract me.", "SOK: I don't know anything about Sachi Nakamura. But, uh, Nozomi booked a client last Friday, and I haven't seen her since.", "BRENNAN: (to BOOTH) That's the day that Sachi Nakamura disappeared.", "BOOTH: What's the client's name?", "SOK: Banker named Vogler. Got hurt bad in the Big Crunch. Made him mean. And Nozomi didn't mind a little of the rough stuff.", "BOOTH: Let's go, Bones.", "SOK: That shiny enough for ya?", "BOOTH: (steps up close to SOK, threateningly) Excuse me?", "BRENNAN: Booth? (pulling BOOTH away) Okay, come on.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. TANAKA and CAM are studying the top of the skull. An enlarged version of the exit wound is displayed across a monitor. NAKAMURA is observing.]", "TANAKA: There is a small scratch to the left of the exit wound.", "CAM: (pointing to the screen) And the directionality is outward from the midpoint of the coronal suture.", "TANAKA: Whatever pierced the skull must have splintered back inside.", "NAKAMURA: Splintered? It was a gunshot. Don't you mean fragmented?", "TANAKA: There are no striations on the cross section of the exit wound.", "CAM: So she wasn't killed by a bullet?", "TANAKA: That is my assessment.", "NAKAMURA: (agitated) What could have been driven through her head?", "[TANAKA gives CAM an uncomfortable look.]", "CAM: (to NAKAMURA, pointedly) Perhaps you can inform Booth that the murder weapon was not a gun.", "[NAKAMURA understands and exits.]", "CAM: (to TANAKA) And we can X-ray the brain to see if we find any evidence of splinters.", "[Enter HODGINS.]", "HODGINS: I ran the particulates from the C5 through the mass spec. Nematodes, turbellaria, copepods, blah blah blah... all congruent with the marsh where the head was found.", "TANAKA: (to CAM) I am not familiar with the 'blah blah blah.'", "HODGINS: But I also found bird vomit on the victim's head.", "TANAKA: Now I truly do not understand.", "CAM: Totally lost.", "HODGINS: Okay, uh, all right. (waves CAM and TANAKA toward a computer) In salt marshes, there are high marshes, low marshes, and salt flats.", "CAM: Dr. Brennan found the head on the low marsh.", "HODGINS: Yes, but the bird vomit comes from catoptrophorus semipalmatus. (looks from CAM to TANAKA) A willet. (looks from TANAKA to CAM; both are lost) The willet is a high marsh creature. But the cadaver dogs are looking here on the low marsh. (points at screen) They should be looking here in the high marsh, where the willet is found.", "TANAKA: But that is miles away.", "HODGINS: Yeah, which is why we need to call the search team.", "CAM: (pointing at screen) Why would someone cut a head off a body here, and drive miles away to dispose of the head here?", "HODGINS: I rarely find motive in bird vomit.", "[CUT TO: EXT. TILLBROOK SALT MARSHES - DAY. BOOTH, BRENNAN, an OFFICER, and his cadaver dog are present.]", "OFFICER #1: (to dog) Seek!", "[The dog seeks, leading the party to a second OFFICER, who is standing by with a second cadaver dog.]", "OFFICER #1: (to OFFICER #2) Okay. It's here.", "OFFICER #2: Okay.", "[A dog barks. A headless body has already been located in the tall grass. BRENNAN approaches the body and touches the exposed vertebrae.]", "BOOTH: Bones?", "[BRENNAN looks up and nods. BOOTH sighs and dials a number on his phone.]", "BOOTH: (on the phone) Nak, I think we found her.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. The body is wheeled into the autopsy theatre in a bag. Present are BRENNAN, CAM, TANAKA and, from a distance, NAKAMURA.]", "CAM: I will autopsy the remains, then give the body back to Dr. Brennan, so she can remove the tissue.", "BRENNAN: The marks on the vertebrae will give us a clearer idea of the weapon used to decapitate her.", "CAM: Dr. Tanaka can help me prepare the brain for liquefaction.", "[BRENNAN begins to unzip the body bag. NAKAMURA is watching as she begins unwrapping the body. It is in terrible shape. NAKAMURA turns away. BRENNAN notices.]", "BRENNAN: (to TANAKA) Perhaps he shouldn't be here.", "TANAKA: If he doesn't ask for help, it would be an insult for me to offer. It would imply weakness.", "[BRENNAN nods and approaches NAKAMURA.]", "BRENNAN: (to NAKAMURA) I realize that staying here shows great strength and commitment to your sister's memory. She is lucky to have such a devoted brother. But it is distracting for us and might compromise our work. I'm sure you wouldn't want that.", "NAKAMURA: Of course not.", "BRENNAN: I will come to you with any news.", "[BRENNAN returns to the examination table. Exit NAKAMURA.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY. CAM and NAKAMURA are liquefying the victim's brain by cooking it under a red light.]", "CAM: The heat and vibration will liquefy the tissue enabling us to examine whatever foreign particle was picked up by the X-ray.", "TANAKA: This was an excellent idea.", "CAM: Thank you.", "[While waiting for the brain to liquefy, CAM steals peeks at TANAKA, presumably trying to gauge gender. TANAKA catches CAM staring.]", "TANAKA: Is there something wrong?", "CAM: What? No. Why?", "TANAKA: You were staring at me.", "CAM: I was? (stammering) I was... I don't... I didn't realize. I... like your shirt.", "[TANAKA looks down at the shirt, unconvinced.]", "CAM: (trying to change the subject) Oh, wow, look at that brain. (flips off the red light)", "TANAKA: Oh, I think I see it. (pulls out the tray and picks up a piece of splinter with forceps) What is it?", "CAM: Wood?", "TANAKA: The wound track wasn't from a bullet, but from a piece of wood being thrust into her skull?", "CAM: Let's not get ahead of ourselves; give it to Hodgins so we know exactly what we're dealing with.", "TANAKA: Right away. He has also been staring. (sarcastically) It seems many people like my shirt.", "[CAM watches TANAKA leave.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MASSAGE PARLOR - DAY. PAUL VOGLER is lying face-down and receiving a massage from a MASSEUSE. BOOTH and BRENNAN burst in.]", "BOOTH: Paul Vogler?", "PAUL VOGLER: (groans) What the hell?", "BRENNAN: (to MASSEUSE) Don't stop because of us.", "BOOTH: (to VOGLER) I'd like to ask you a few questions about Nozomi Sato.", "BRENNAN: (to MASSEUSE) How much do you charge for a massage?", "MASSEUSE: Two hundred dollars.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: What? That seems way too much. Her knowledge of the skeletal and musculature systems seems minimal at best.", "BOOTH: Right. Uh, she's not that type of masseuse. (to VOGLER) So, Nozomi Sato?", "VOGLER: Who?", "BOOTH: You know, the prostitute you like beating up.", "VOGLER: I don't know what you're talking about.", "BOOTH: Okay, fine. We'll just go subpoena the phone records from Elegant Escorts. (turns to leave)", "VOGLER: I saw her a few times.", "BOOTH: (turning back) Oh, really?", "VOGLER: Yeah, to blow off some steam. You know. A photographer who did some ads for my firm, he's the one that gave me the Elegant flyer.", "BRENNAN: Micah Strutt?", "VOGLER: Yeah. I guess he shot for them, too.", "BRENNAN: (approaching the massage bed, to MASSEUSE) You-You should really focus on the iliocostalis and the longissimus. That's where most people carry their tension. Like this. (presses her elbow into VOGLER's back)", "VOGLER: Oh! Whoa! Whoa, that's great.", "BRENNAN: (to MASSEUSE) You see? That's what they want.", "MASSEUSE: (awkwardly) Not... usually.", "BOOTH: Bones, she's a \"happy ending\" masseuse, okay? \"Happy ending.\"", "BRENNAN: Oh... BOOTH: (slides a picture of SACHI NAKAMURA under the face hole of the massage bed, to VOGLER) What about this girl?", "VOGLER: (lifting his head) I never met her. Nozomi was the only escort I was seeing.", "BOOTH: You seem to be a fine collector of Asian art. (snaps open an article about VOGLER and holds it up to him) Do you want to explain the sword on the wall there, in the background?", "VOGLER: It's a Nihonto sword.", "BRENNAN: It was used by the feudal executioners to behead the condemned.", "VOGLER: (turning to BRENNAN) Yeah, I know. I had to sell it. I lost a fortune in the market.", "BOOTH: Right. How convenient of you to sell the sword off, you know, 'cause Sachi Nakamura was beheaded.", "VOGLER: What?", "BOOTH: Beheaded.", "VOGLER: Hey, I don't know what you're thinking-", "BRENNAN: (interrupting) Hitting the iliohypogastric nerve can be extremely painful.", "[BRENNAN digs her elbow into VOGLER's back. VOGLER cries out in pain.]", "BOOTH: Where's the sword now?", "VOGLER: Listen-", "[BRENNAN presses her elbow into VOGLER's back again. VOGLER cries out.]", "VOGLER: I'm not saying another word to you people without my lawyer.", "BOOTH: Fine. That's fine with us. We'll be in touch. (taps VOGLER on the shoulder with his article) Come on, Bones.", "[BOOTH rises from his seat and goes to open the door. As BOOTH and BRENNAN are about to leave, VOGLER cries out again. The MASSEUSE has hit VOGLER's iliohypogastric nerve.]", "BRENNAN: Oh, she's a quick learner.", "BOOTH: Yeah, very quick.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN leave as VOGLER continues to cry out.]", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - MAIN - DAY. ANGELA catches a passing CAM.]", "ANGELA: Hey, I did a little research on Strutt Photography.", "CAM: I almost asked Tanaka.", "ANGELA: (gasps) No! Really?", "CAM: (heading into ANGELA's office with ANGELA) Not that it matters, but he - she/he - caught me staring. I didn't mean to, but I had an opening, you know, but I didn't know how to lead off. If I said he/she was a girl, and he/she was a guy, he/she might be offended, or other way around, same thing. God, I missed the ease of a simple pronoun.", "ANGELA: Yeah, tell me about it. (turns to computer) All right, check out Strutt Photography's website. Now, there's a link to additional services, which requires permission and a password. I traced the IP address and I found the FTP site that contains all the uploads. Then I bypassed the password protection by hacking into the server where his web address is registered.", "CAM: Why do I feel like my checking account isn't safe?", "ANGELA: Look what Mr. Strutt's been hiding.", "[Many photos of SACHI NAKAMURA pop up on the screen.]", "CAM: These pictures definitely weren't taken at Strutt's studio.", "ANGELA: (as she zooms into various photos) Long lens, foreground objects, probably taken without the subject's consent.", "CAM: Classic stalker photos.", "ANGELA: Mm-hmm.", "CAM: If he was stalking Sachi... ANGELA: Maybe it wasn't just pictures he wanted to shoot.", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. BRENNAN and TANAKA are examining the victim's bones.]", "TANAKA: Forgive me, Dr. Brennan, but I must ask if you are familiar with the Shinto idea of kami?", "BRENNAN: The spiritual essence of an object?", "TANAKA: Yes. I cannot define what is missing from this skull, how its kami is incomplete.", "BRENNAN: Maybe because the top of the cranium had been removed.", "TANAKA: Perhaps. I often find that handling the bone gives me insight to that pure science cannot explain.", "BRENNAN: Well, I find that pure science is the only thing that gives satisfactory explanations, Dr. Tanaka. (turns back to the skull) There is something with the temporal bone. (hands the skull to TANAKA)", "TANAKA: (touching the temporal bone) Yes. The tympanomastoid. A swelling in the air space. (hands the skull back to BRENNAN)", "BRENNAN: Tympanomastoid hemorrhaging in the absence of a bleeding diathesis.", "TANAKA: (suddenly realizing) The victim was drowned.", "BRENNAN: Very impressive, Dr. Tanaka.", "TANAKA: It wasn't me. It was the kami. (touches the top of the skull and bows her head slightly)", "[Enter CAM.]", "CAM: Well, she wasn't killed by whatever pierced her brain. I aspirated her lungs. Cause of death was drowning.", "[BRENNAN and TANAKA share a look.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDIO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. HODGINS pushes a stand toward BRENNAN as she enters with CAM, who is carrying the victim's lung in a bowl.]", "BRENNAN: We need to determine if the victim was drowned in the marsh or somewhere else.", "HODGINS: No problem. I'll analyze the water samples from the lungs. (turning to computer) Now, I discovered what the splinter from the brain tissue is. It's pseudosasa japonica. It's arrow bamboo. It's ornamental. (turning back to BRENNAN and CAM) Only grows indoors in this climate.", "BRENNAN: Sharpened bamboo could easily pierce the skull.", "CAM: The girl was drowned first, a mask was put on her, then she was decapitated and her head was mounted on a bamboo stake?", "HODGINS: Yeah, then the head was tossed into the marsh?", "CAM: Let's find out what kind of water was in her lungs.", "[FADE TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - BRENNAN'S OFFICE - DAY. NAKAMURA is looking at a photo of his sister SACHI. Enter BRENNAN, who pauses at the doorway.]", "NAKAMURA: She was beautiful, wasn't she?", "BRENNAN: (approaches and looks at photo) Yes, she was. A beautiful young woman.", "NAKAMURA: Which is probably why she came to America. She felt like a woman and wanted to be rid of a big brother watching her all the time.", "BRENNAN: My parents left me and my brother when I was 15. My brother was the only family that I had then. But he walked out on me, too.", "NAKAMURA: I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: I turned out quite well, actually. But it would've been nice to have had a brother like you. (long pause) According to the FBI logs, she called you every day, often twice a day. And the conversations... never were less than five minutes and averaged 15 minutes.", "NAKAMURA: This has meaning for you?", "BRENNAN: Objectively speaking, it would indicate a, an irrefutable desire to connect. A deep and abiding love.", "NAKAMURA: I cannot imagine never talking to her again.", "BRENNAN: I myself have no one in my life whom I talk to that much. Outside of work, I mean. (beat) Perhaps that is good.", "NAKAMURA: How so?", "BRENNAN: I can see how much pain you're in.", "[NAKAMURA looks down.]", "BRENNAN: Is it worth it?", "[NAKAMURA looks back up and frowns.]", "BRENNAN: To have your own happiness so contingent upon another human being?", "NAKAMURA: If I was willing to give up my life for Sachi... why would I not be willing to risk my happiness for her?", "[FADE TO: INT. BOOTH'S SUV - DAY. BRENNAN and BOOTH are speaking with CAM, HODGINS and NAKAMURA on the phone.]", "CAM: Hodgins analyzed the water in Sachi's lungs.", "HODGINS: I found dibromides. It's the active ingredient in algaecides used to treat water features.", "BRENNAN: So the victim wasn't drowned in the salt marshes. She was drowned in a water feature?", "BOOTH: Hey, the photographer has a water thing in his lobby.", "BRENNAN: (correcting) Water feature. Water feature.", "BOOTH: I'm not going to say \"feature.\" It's just weird, okay? I'll say pond or pool.", "BRENNAN: Or thing.", "BOOTH: All right, wishing well. Can we just move on?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins, if we had a sample, could you isolate a single water feature?", "HODGINS: Yeah, I could match profiles.", "NAKAMURA: If you think the photographer is the killer, I want to be there.", "BOOTH: Nak, if you budge from the Jeffersonian, I will have you on the first plane back to Japan. You understand? You know me. And you know that's true. (hangs up)", "BRENNAN: You were kind of mean there, Booth.", "BOOTH: The man's in big pain, Bones. Makes it hard for him to hear.", "BRENNAN: I've never heard of grief affecting auditory acuteness.", "BOOTH: Medical fact. Look it up.", "[CUT TO: INT. MICAH STRUTT'S STUDIO - DAY. BRENNAN is collecting water samples from the water feature. BOOTH is questioning STRUTT.]", "BOOTH: (to STRUTT) Huh. I thought you only did one shoot with Sachi Nakamura, huh? (tosses a bunch of photos of SACHI onto a stand)", "STRUTT: Okay, look, this is... it's getting totally out of hand. Maybe I should get a lawyer.", "BOOTH: What's your connection with James Sok?", "STRUTT: All I do is give him names, man.", "BRENNAN: What names?", "STRUTT: Names of girls who don't mind doing nude shots.", "BOOTH: Oh, a finder's fee?", "STRUTT: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "STRUTT: But I mean, that's all.", "BOOTH: Right, but you do know what James Sok does with these girls, right?", "STRUTT: I mind my own business.", "BOOTH: He's a pimp. (taps STRUTT on the chest) Which makes you a pimp, too. What about Sachi?", "STRUTT: She wouldn't pose nude.", "BRENNAN: What about these photos?", "STRUTT: What? It's a style, man. Look, I got the releases that she signed before we even did it. You want to see 'em?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Thank you.", "[CUT TO: MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. TANAKA is examining the victim's bones. NAKAMURA is observing. Enter HODGINS.]", "HODGINS: The water at the photographer's studio uses chlorine.", "NAKAMURA: So Sachi was not drowned there?", "HODGINS: No, sir.", "NAKAMURA: You should inform Dr. Saroyan.", "HODGINS Yeah, I already have. I just thought if I were you, I'd want to hear everything from the horse's mouth.", "NAKAMURA: Thank you, Dr. Hodgins. (bows)", "HODGINS: (to TANAKA) Any luck with the microsil?", "TANAKA: Yes. I believe your partly Chinese woman will be able to reconstruct the tool used to decapitate the victim.", "[Enter ANGELA.]", "ANGELA: Uh, excuse me. Hi. I heard that.", "NAKAMURA: Dr. Tanaka means no offense. In Japanese, that would not sound so insulting.", "TANAKA: I will complete my work and give you the results.", "[Exit TANAKA and HODGINS.]", "ANGELA: (to NAKAMURA) So, how are you holding up?", "NAKAMURA: I should have known the life she was living.", "ANGELA: (sighs) Listen, your sister wasn't a prostitute. Her roommate was.", "NAKAMURA: (nods) It was a warning.", "ANGELA: What was?", "NAKAMURA: Putting Sachi's head on the spike. In feudal Japan, a traitor's head was placed on a pole as a warning that others should fear the warlords.", "ANGELA: Right. And she was wearing her roommate Nozomi's mask.", "NAKAMURA: Yes. Because the warning was meant for Nozomi. Nozomi sees the head and knows she must run.", "ANGELA: And she disposes of it so that no one will think that she killed Sachi.", "NAKAMURA: (nods) But what did my sister do? (beat) If Sachi was a good girl... (touches the top of Sachi's skull) what did she do to get killed?", "[NAKAMURA picks up a small cloth and drapes it over Sachi's bones. ANGELA gives NAKAMURA a sympathetic look and leaves.]", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY. BOOTH and SWEETS are walking toward the interrogation room.]", "BOOTH: Picked up her roommate trying to leave the country. She's still pretty freaked out.", "SWEETS: She saw her best friend's head on a spike. Trauma like that could take years to assimilate.", "BOOTH: Yeah, we don't have years, okay? (taps SWEETS on the back) So get in there and work your magic, all right? Go.", "[SWEETS shoots BOOTH a disgruntled look, then enters the interrogation room. NOZOMI SATO is sitting at the table, extremely anxious. BOOTH watches from behind the glass. SWEETS sits down opposite NOZOMI, who turns away.]", "SWEETS: (exhales and clasps his hands together) We'll keep you safe, Nozomi. You don't have to worry.", "[NOZOMI, terrified, says nothing.]", "SWEETS: Can I get you anything?", "[NOZOMI remains silent.]", "SWEETS: (sighs) Look, I know you feel alone. You think that no one else could understand what you went through. And no one could. But that doesn't mean that you can't be helped. We can prevent anything like this from happening again, to you or anyone else. If you tell us who did this, Nozomi, we can protect you. And we'll make sure that you get home safely.", "[NOZOMI still does not respond. Finally, SWEETS rises from his seat and faces the window. From the other side, BOOTH sees SWEETS and understands.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN, ANGELA and TANAKA enter.]", "ANGELA: We got the general shape from Dr. Tanaka's cast, but we still need to fill in the details.", "BRENNAN: Does the basic shape resemble a katana sword or a Japanese dough knife?", "ANGELA: (sits down at her computer) Well, it's too early to say.", "TANAKA: The prominent residual striae indicate that a power tool was not used and that the blade was curved.", "BRENNAN: It has a combination of serrated and plain edging.", "ANGELA: All right, so, there goes the katana sword.", "BRENNAN: From the breakaway spur, I could see that there are approximately six teeth per inch on the serrated section.", "ANGELA: Okay, anything else?", "BRENNAN: There also appears to be something that catches on the bone as it's pulled back, like a hook near the blade's point.", "ANGELA: Ooh, that's good.", "[ANGELA enters the specifics and an image of a knife appears on screen.]", "TANAKA: I've never seen a knife like that. Perhaps there was an error in the topography of my mold.", "BRENNAN: No, I've seen this knife before. It's a marine knife. (pointing) The hook is used for cutting line and cord.", "ANGELA: Wait a minute. James Sok, the owner of Elegant Escorts, doesn't he live on a boat?", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are questioning SOK. NAKAMURA is observing from behind the glass. An agent enters with evidence bags and hands them to BRENNAN.]", "BOOTH: So what was it, Sok? You wanted to keep, uh, Nozomi in line, so you used Sachi as an example? Sachi, she doesn't even work for you.", "SOK: (to BRENNAN) Where did you get that?", "BRENNAN: (takes knife out of evidence bag) We have a search warrant. These were taken from your boat. (beat) The serrations are consistent with the tool markings on the bone.", "SOK: I didn't kill anyone.", "BOOTH: Then you're going to have to explain why there's blood on your knife.", "[BRENNAN swabs SOK's knife and sprays the swab with a chemical. Nothing happens.]", "BRENNAN: It's clean.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: There's no blood on the knife.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, I'm sure there's another knife. We'll just tear your place apart until we find one, that's all.", "[BRENNAN swabs the inside of the sheath. The swab changes color.]", "BRENNAN: Booth? (holding up swab) He didn't clean the sheath.", "BOOTH: Hah. Look at that, huh. Why don't you just save the taxpayers some money and confess.", "SOK: Why don't you offer me a deal instead?", "BOOTH: You're really in no bargaining position right now, Mr. Sok. Evidence proves that you killed Sachi.", "BRENNAN: No, it doesn't. It proves that he cut off her head. She died by drowning.", "SOK: Very good. Sachi stuck her nose in where it didn't belong. If you want to know who killed her, you'll cut me a deal.", "BOOTH: Huh. Right. (grabs SOK by the collar, furious) You cut off her head (slams SOK into the wall) and you stuck it on a spike to keep your girls in line, and you want me to cut you a deal?", "SOK: Yeah, that's right.", "[After a few tense moments, BOOTH releases SOK and storms off.]", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY. NAKAMURA has been watching the interrogation from behind the glass. Enter BOOTH.]", "BOOTH: What do you want to do, Nak?", "NAKAMURA: I want to kill him.", "BOOTH: Look, he could give us Sachi's murderer.", "NAKAMURA: And then he goes free. The man who put my sister's head on a spike.", "BOOTH: If I don't cut this deal, then... her murderer could walk.", "NAKAMURA: This is your case, Booth. What I want doesn't matter.", "BOOTH: To me it does. And it would to Sachi.", "NAKAMURA: (after a long pause) Cut the deal.", "[BOOTH pats NAKAMURA on the shoulder and leaves.]", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. SOK is confessing to BOOTH and BRENNAN.]", "SOK: Paul Vogler. He was a good customer. One of my best. Always wanted Nozomi. But he liked to get rough. Sometimes maybe too rough.", "[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY. VOGLER IS being taken in by BOOTH and NAKAMURA.]", "SOK: (voice over) One day, that girl Sachi barges into Vogler's place, screaming, saying she was going to call her cop brother if Vogler ever touched her friend Nozomi again. Vogler pushes her into his koi pond, holds her down, just to shut her up. Idiot kills her. He paid me to clean up the mess. So yeah, I put the girl's head in Nozomi's apartment. And Nozomi took off, like I knew she would. I had a business to save. But I didn't kill anyone. It was Vogler.", "[VOGLER and BOOTH enter the interrogation room. NAKAMURA remains outside and hangs his head.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. NAKAMURA is standing in front of SACHI's coffin. He lights incense in honor of his sister. He blows it out just as BOOTH and BRENNAN enter.]", "BOOTH: Hey, Nak. (beat) Nozomi's been cleared to leave by immigration.", "NAKAMURA: I will see that she gets home safely.", "BOOTH: Thank you, Nak.", "NAKAMURA: And Sachi can rest with our parents. If the teachings are correct, she will be reborn, and Sok and Vogler will have to answer for their actions.", "BRENNAN: That... is highly improbable.", "[BOOTH looks at BRENNAN.]", "BRENNAN: But I hope that it's true.", "NAKAMURA: I am forever in your debt. (bows)", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN bow. BOOTH approaches NAKAMURA and extends his hand.]", "BOOTH: My friend, one of those good Japanese beers will be just fine.", "BRENNAN: Oh, I prefer sake.", "[BOOTH and NAKAMURA turn to look at her.]", "BRENNAN: (quietly) Sake.", "BOOTH: (shaking NAKAMURA's hand) We'll let you know when it's time to go, okay?", "[NAKAMURA nods. Exit BOOTH and BRENNAN. NAKAMURA returns to the coffin and draws his hands together in prayer.]", "[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. TANAKA is packing up her tools. Enter HODGINS, ANGELA, CAM and SWEETS, who observe from afar.]", "HODGINS: So... no one asked Tanaka?", "SWEETS: It doesn't matter, remember?", "HODGINS: Yeah, yeah. No, I know.", "CAM: It's Tanaka's life. We are not children.", "SWEETS: Very good.", "ANGELA: Oh, this is ridiculous. (sighs and approaches TANAKA) Hey, Haru. It was great working with you. I hope to see you again soon.", "[ANGELA envelopes TANAKA in a tight hug. HODGINS, CAM and SWEETS look away. After a few moments, ANGELA releases TANAKA and smiles.]", "ANGELA: Okay, then. Have a great trip back.", "[TANAKA bows.]", "ANGELA: Okay.", "[TANAKA continues packing. ANGELA returns to where HODGINS, CAM and SWEETS are standing.]", "ANGELA: It moved. He's a guy.", "[Everyone reacts.]", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "[CUT TO: BOOTH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. BRENNAN is sitting at the table. BOOTH carries over a banana split.]", "BOOTH: There, huh? Eh-hey! It's good for what ails you.", "BRENNAN: Usually in this situation, we'd have alcohol.", "BOOTH: Which is exactly why we should do this, okay, from time to time. (scoops up a spoonful of ice cream and moves it toward BRENNAN's face while making airplane noises)", "BRENNAN: (chuckles) Oh, no. (eats the ice cream fed to her by BOOTH.)", "BOOTH: Yum, hmm? Here you go.", "BRENNAN: Will he recover? Your friend Ken?", "BOOTH: From losing his sister? Um... well, you don't recover from something like that. You just survive.", "BRENNAN: People die. There's a fault in the design if we can't recover from it.", "BOOTH: \"Fault in the design?\" What are we, coffee pots?", "BRENNAN: No, I just mean that we should be designed so that we can handle the worst.", "BOOTH: We are designed that way. We aren't sent anything that we can't handle.", "BRENNAN: I'm not convinced that loving someone is worth it.", "BOOTH: I got a son, and it's worth it.", "BRENNAN: Even if he died?", "BOOTH: Whoa. Bones, don't even say anything like that. Don't even put that out there. It is worth it, and everything around it is worth it. (beat) Every moment, everything... is worth it, so eat the ice cream before it melts.", "BRENNAN: (eats a spoonful of ice cream and frowns) I wish it was beer.", "BOOTH: Right. (gets up and moves to his fridge) You know what? (takes two beers out of the fridge) Okay. (places the beers on the table and opens them) You're right.", "BRENNAN: (takes a beer) Now, this is what I'm talking about.", "BOOTH: Good. We agree to understand that this is worth it.", "[BRENNAN and BOOTH drink their beers.]", "[FADE TO BLACK.]" ]

[ "Jimmy 'Beaver' Bouvier is found strung up in the costume of his college mascot, an Otter. Booth and Bones must investigate whether he was dead beforehand or killed during a Middlesex University bonfire event." ]

[ "\"The Beaver in the Otter\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Outside Middlesex college- Students are at a bonfire rally)", "GREG HARMALARD: My name is Greg Harmalard and I'm here to recruit you. (Students cheer) Tomorrow night, our noble conference champions, the Middlesex Archers, (Students take an archer's pose) take on the desperate and conniving Forrest Lake Otters. (Boos) Right about now, the Otters must be wondering where their mascot went. (A crane over the bonfire rises to reveal the Otter mascot hanging from it) Archers ready your bows... archers raise your bows... archers aim...archers fire!", "(The bonfire is set alight by the archers as the students cheer on)", "GREG HARMALARD: Ladies and Gentleman of Middlesex College, aim your weapons...fire at will.", "(The students throw all they have it and they fire a blunderbuss. The mascot rips apart as the victim hangs by an ankle over the bonfire.", "STUDENTS: Oh my god! Oh my God! It's real!", "(They run and scream out)", "(Cut to - Outside Middlesex College, the next morning)", "BRENNAN: Male...some of this costume is fused to the remains DEAN", "WARNER: Ah, Good morning, I'm Vernon Warner, the dean of students.", "BOOTH: I'm special agent Seeley Booth, this here is Dr Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.", "BRENNAN: There is a lot of damage to this body.", "SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: They had a cannon, more like a blunderbuss, really, filled to the brink with bric-a-brac and shrapnel.", "DEAN WARNER: Yeah, look, I suspect that this might be a prank", "BRENNAN: A prank?", "BOOTH: It's college, Bones.", "DEAN WARNER: I...I suspect that one of our less reflected frat house may have stolen these remains from the medical school.", "SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: Beta, delta, sigma. We've got a missing cadaver reported yesterday.", "BOOTH: (Proudly) You know, Bones, when I was in College, my fraternity, we stole a cadaver, dressed it up like Caesar and put it on a statue of a horse", "BRENNAN: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths?", "DEAN WARNER: Ah! But the Betas did do this, I will withdraw their certifications.", "BOOTH: Stolen cadaver was male, 73 years old, his snowmobile fell through the ice, donated his body to science.", "DEAN WARNER: Yes, snowmobilers and motorcyclists are our main source of cadavers.", "BRENNAN: No. The third molar has not fully erupted. I'd be surprised if he was older than mid-20's.", "DEAN WARNER: So this is not the missing cadaver?", "BRENNAN: I think you'll find you missing medical school cadaver is over there.", "BOOTH: Where?", "BRENNAN: Sitting on the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here.", "SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: No that's just campus security. They're always like that, but I'll go check it out.", "DEAN WARNER: So if he is not a stolen cadaver, then, uh...he wasn't alive when our students shot him with the cannon, was he?", "BRENNAN: I won't know the cause of death until I get him back to the lab.", "SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: Yeah, she's right; it's your cadaver, reeks of formaldehyde.", "BOOTH: 'k, let's get it all back to the Jeffersonian, shall we?", "Cut to: Jeffersonian lab, forensic platform", "(Cam approaches the body where Angela was already looking at the victim)", "CAM: Looks like someone took a flamethrower at a Sasquatch!", "ANGELA: Well, this is what he was supposed to look like (Shows a picture)", "CAM: Someone finally killed a mascot? (Arastoo Vaziri arrives on the platform)", "CAM: Mister Vaziri, do you have the X-Rays?", "ARASTOO: Yes. I have never seen so many foreign objects in human remains before. Arrows, marbles, jacks, various coins, cutlery, my best guess is a nuclear explosion just as the victim entered the 99 cent store. (Cam tries not to laugh)", "ANGELA: Well, uh, close...He was shot by a blunderbuss, pelted by an angry mob and then burned.", "CAM: Now that's what I call team spirit (they look at her strangely) I'm a wisecracking pathologist with a dark sense of humor.", "ANGELA: It was funny (Angela nods).", "TITLES ACT 1", "Cut to: Diner;", "(Jared is at the bar eating when Booth arrives. Brennan is on the phone in the office. )", "BOOTH: What did they say?", "(Jared hands Booth an envelope that he opens)", "BOOTH: Dishonorable discharge?", "JARED: Court Martial convicted me of misuse of authority and theft of government property.", "BOOTH: Ahh. No Booth has ever gotten a dishonorable discharge.", "JARED: Uh yea. No Booth has ever had to save his brother from an insane kidnapper.", "BOOTH: Sorry", "JARED: I owed you for digging me out of crap my whole life.", "BOOTH: You're gonna need a job.", "JARED: Well, I joined the navy when I was 17, so a job, that's what civilians refer to as duty, right?", "(Booth's phone rings, and he answers it)", "BOOTH: Booth", "BRENNAN: Angela identified the boy in the otter suit.", "BOOTH: Well, wow, that was quick. (to Jared) Look, just give me a second.", "BRENNAN: Are you talking to me?", "BOOTH: No, I'm talking to my brother (to Jared) Just give me one minute.", "JARED: Do your thing; I'll catch up with you later. (He leaves)", "BOOTH: Look, hey, I'll help you find a job.", "BRENNAN: What? Me?", "JARED: I saved your life, you find me a job, yeah that seems fair,", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm back.", "BRENNAN: The student's walk-in dentist was able to provide dental records. I e-mailed you the particulars. The victim is James Bouvier. His friends called him Beaver, I assume because of his last name, which is Bouvier.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm sure that's why.", "BRENNAN: Although, despite the similar sounds, bouvier means ox, not beaver. Beaver is 23 years old and a member of the Beta Delta Sigma fraternity.", "BOOTH: Yeah, that's not a coincidence.", "BRENNAN: Statistically, given the size of the campus, it could be a complete coincidence that the murdered student is also a member of the group of sociopathic young male cadaver thieves.", "BOOTH: Statistically, maybe, but this is not math class, ok, Bones. Just meet me at Middlesex college in 30 minutes.", "(Booth hangs up the phone)", "Cut to: Middlesex College BOOTH: You don't mention anything about Beaver when we talk to these people.", "BRENNAN: What people?", "BOOTH: Those people here, they're all potential suspects, got it?", "BRENNAN: Ok", "BOOTH: Ok, so, who organized the rally last night?", "GREG HARMALARD: That would be me and Gary DEAN WARNER: It's, uh, Greg Harmalard and Gary Bacon.", "GREG HARMALARD: The bonfire is kind of a tradition, me and Gary added the whole hanging-of-the-enemy-mascot element, hum Molly brought in the band and took care of letting everyone know the where and when details.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Well, just an e-mail chain really.", "BRENNAN: Whose idea was the blunderbuss?", "GREG HARMALARD: Me, again. You have to understand that we had no idea there was a cadaver in there.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: It's from the med school, right? It's what I heard.", "BOOTH: Ok, so who stole the otter costume from Forrest Lake?", "GARY BACON: Hum, me, Greg and Dave.", "BOOTH: When you stole the costume, was there anything inside of it?", "GARY BACON: Nothin', I mean, there was a dancing acrobat dude, or whatever, but we duct taped him to a pole and took the suit.", "BRENNAN: Ok, where was the costume located between the time you stole it and when it was hung on the gallows, blown up and incinerated?", "MOLLY BRIGGS: We just kicked it under here, it's the homecoming float.", "GARY BACON: Me, Dave and Greg stuffed it with cafeteria leftovers in plastic bags. The head was a cantaloupe.", "GREG HARMALARD: Next day, we brought in Dave's dad's truck and hung it up, drove it out to the rally.", "BOOTH: So, are any of you guys members of the Beta Delta Sigma fraternity.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Hum, the Betas don't build school spirit, they tear it down, so definitely not.", "BOOTH: Any of you guys know a guy by the name of Jimmy Bouvier?", "BRENNAN: Also known as Beaver GARY", "BACON: Yeah, hum, he's a Beta, he's got a huge bong.", "GREG HARMALARD: He was ok, he was a good time guy.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: He lives to throw up a lot is all I know.", "GARY BACON: If anybody was gonna put a cadaver in the otter suit, it'd be Beaver.", "GREG HARMALARD: I bet he was watching everyone running and screaming last night, and laughing his ass off.", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform", "(Arastoo is digging all the foreign objects that were sh1t in Beaver's body and handing them to Hodgins)", "HODGINS: This is a commemorative pin from the Chinese Olympics", "ARASTOO: it was in what's left of the victim's liver.", "HODGINS: A ball-bearing...all this stuff is extremely common, nails, screws, bolts, washers, keys.", "ARASTOO: What is this?", "HODGINS: My guess, it's a USB drive.", "ARASTOO: What kind of people would do this? Perfect human remains with household commonalities and refuse.", "HODGINS: I don't know...every bomber who ever lived?", "ARASTOO: Did you make that comment simply because I am Muslim?", "HODGINS: You serious? Of course!", "ARASTOO: Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, William Ayres, Mr. George P. Meteski, known as the original Mad Bomber.", "(Hodgins gives him a defiant look then turns away)", "ARASTOO: It seems an insurmountable task, this. Each of these could have been the cause of death and yet we will not be able to trace it's...", "HODGINS: Trace it's? What?", "ARASTOO: It's origin. This is a bullet.", "HODGINS: 22 caliber", "ARASTOO: A bullet says \"I wish to kill you\" much more clearly than an Olympic pin. Don't we agree?", "(Hodgins looks at it more)", "HODGINS: Yup Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house ROBERT", "HOOPER: I'm Robert Hooper, Beta Delta chapter president, this is Dalton Abbot, he helped Beaver steal the corpse from the medical school.", "BOOTH: Listen, guys, we don't care about the cadaver, we just want to find out who killed your brother.", "ELI ROUNDER: We agreed, before you got here, that we'd answer any and all questions you have, truthfully.", "SWEETS: A conspiracy to tell the truth, interesting.", "ROBERT HOOPER: Yea, Eli was the Beaver's frosh, you know, kinda breaking him in the Greek life.", "SWEETS: hmm, what was Beaver like?", "ROBERT HOOPER: The man was the most popular guy in the house SWEETS: No, I asked what was he like, not was he liked.", "BOOTH: Sweets", "SWEETS: What? There's a difference.", "ELI ROUNDER: Look, The Beaver was exactly like a great guy, who everybody liked.", "BOOTH: What was Beaver's life like outside the fraternity?", "ROBERT HOOPER: like Eli said, everybody liked him.", "ELI ROUNDER: Well except for the faculty, he was on academic probation.", "ROBERT HOOPER: Academic probation is the price you pay for everybody liking you.", "SWEETS: Girlfriend? Or is this one of those \"Bros before Hoes\" kind of frats?", "ROBERT HOOPER: Beaver was more like a partier BOOTH: Well we do know that Beaver was with at least one girl SWEETS: Why? What makes you think so?", "BOOTH: Scoreboard! (Booth gets up to get a closer look at it)", "SWEETS: What?", "BOOTH: Beaver. One star. One conquest", "SWEETS: So do the starts, here, represent the number of times individuals members of the fraternity completed the s*x act or the number of girls?", "ROBERT HOOPER: The second SWEETS: (nods) Just curious, do you also compare pen1s size?", "ELI ROUNDER: No! Only if we're really drunk and already naked ROBERT HOOPER: What?", "ELI ROUNDER: What? We agreed to answer all their questions truthfully.", "SWEETS: Dalton Abbot, very successful, according to this, compensate for something...", "BOOTH: Sweets, just stop psycho-analysing frat life and just get on with the Beaver questions.", "SWEETS: Sure, of course, but guys, wouldn't it be more impressive to actually have a single girl want to have s*x with you multiple times, unless your only objective is to impress other adolescent males?", "BOOTH: Guys! Beaver's single star?", "ELI ROUNDER: Molly Briggs BOOTH: Thank you!", "ELI ROUNDER: Guys, we agreed, for the last time.", "ROBERT HOOPER: If Harmalard found out that the Beaver was bouncing Molly, he'd kill him.", "BOOTH: Greg Harmalard? The guy who organized the bonfire?", "ROBERT HOOPER: Yeah, Molly's boyfriend, he's in ROTC.", "BOOTH: They like shooting things.", "Cut to - Brennan's office.", "BRENNAN: They keep track of sexual conquest with stars on the wall?", "SWEETS: It's emotionally stunted", "BOOTH: Guys, it's a college fraternity.", "BRENNAN: They seem like really terrible people.", "BOOTH: They're college kids, ok, it's their job description to be bad, it's what they do.", "SWEETS: Yeah, but still, a community of young man mutually supporting bad decisions.", "BOOTH: Look, these kids, they go out into the world, they're alone, they have no supervision, they have to be bad just in order to figure out what it is, you know. Scientific fact, their frontal lobes are the size of raisins.", "BRENNAN: No, that is not a scientific fact.", "BOOTH: What they gotta do is build their frontal lobes, with exercise, ok and that comes from doing the wrong thing.", "SWEETS: Ok, so your theory is, you gotta be bad to be good?", "BOOTH: Exactly, facts of life, my friend, ok so what transmissions did you get from the brothers?", "BRENNAN: Booth! He is not a radio!", "BOOTH: He kinda is, that's why I brought him along.", "SWEETS: What I did observe, using my eyes and my training, is that these three frat brothers weren't actually upset about Beaver's death", "BRENNAN: How do you know?", "SWEETS: Well, real grief comes and goes, in waves. Those guys had their faces set in sad, the whole time. They were lying.", "BRENNAN: I believe you're just guessing!", "SWEETS: Ok, fine, I'm a magic 8 ball.", "BOOTH: I think you hurt his feelings.", "BRENNAN: Did you believe him?", "(Cam walks in)", "CAM: The bullet Arastoo found in the victim's remains was a 22 caliber, light and relatively undamaged.", "BOOTH: hmm, a pressure room fire cartridge", "CAM: Which is consistent with ROTC small arms... Cut to- Interrogation room", "(Booth clicks the gun)", "BOOTH: so, you recognize this pistol?", "GREG HARMALARD: Yes sir, it's a Beretta U22 Neos, LR with a six inch barrel, ten round capacity, low blade front sights and adjustable rear sights. I'm in ROTC, I know my weapons.", "BOOTH: And you know this one particularly well, because it was last signed out to you.", "BRENNAN: FBI Balistics has ascertained that this gun fired this bullet.", "GREG HARMALARD: And where did you find the bullet?", "BRENNAN: In Beaver's corpse GREG", "HARMALARD: Beaver's dead?", "BOOTH: Hey! He's catching on pretty good!", "GREG HARMALARD: Hey I never shot Beaver.", "BOOTH: Did you fire this gun at the rally?", "GREG HARMALARD: Yes, sir, I did, but I loaded it with blanks. That was Beaver hanging in the otter mascot outfit?", "BRENNAN: He's quit adept at putting the puzzle together.", "BOOTH: humm GREG", "HARMALARD: What was Beaver doing in there?", "BOOTH: Well, we were hoping that maybe you'd be able to tell us.", "GREG HARMALARD: Look, I told you, I loaded the gun with blanks.", "BOOTH: Did you check the chamber?", "GREG HARMALARD: I think so.", "BRENNAN: Well, obviously, you are either careless or you intended to fire the bullet.", "GREG HARMALARD: Or somebody, you know, sabotaged me, Beaver had to be hanging up there for at least an hour before... No way that Beaver was still alive when I fired, right? I had no idea that it was Beaver; I had no reason to shoot Beaver.", "BOOTH: Except for the fact that he slept with your girlfriend.", "GREG HARMALARD: Humm, I don't want to sound conceited but look at Beaver, look at me, look at Molly, look at me... Cur to - float room MOLLY BRIGGS: Me and Beaver? Sexually? Do I look like a blow-up doll?", "BRENNAN: Beaver told his fraternal brothers that he had s*x with you.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Yeah, well, he lied. Look, I'll give you DNA or whatever you want and then you can do me a favor and broadcast the results across the campus.", "BOOTH: Thanks. (to Brennan) We don't have anything to compare her DNA to.", "BRENNAN: I have an idea.", "Cut to - Car BOOTH: We're gonna collect his sheets, off his bed?", "BRENNAN: Yes! And then we will check them for DNA, see if he had sexual intercourse with Molly Briggs", "BOOTH: Yea...who's gonna check the kids' sheets? Seems like a bad job to me!", "BRENNAN: Uh huh Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house", "(The frat brothers, dressed in Toga outfits, are around a ping pong table, doing a ceremony for Beaver ROBERT HOOPER: Gentleman, raise your glasses. Members of the Beta Delta Sigma, I ask that you form in your mind, your favorite image of our fallen brother, Jimmy \"the Beaver\" Bouvier.", "FRAT BROTHERS: Bouvier!", "BRENNAN: Why are they all wearing bed sheets?", "BOOTH: It's a toga memorial.", "ROBERT HOOPER: And with that image formed in your mind, I say \"Drink!\"", "(They all drink)", "BRENNAN: Excuse me; did one of you take the sheets from Beaver's room? Because that room is sealed for evidence and you will be prosecuted.", "BOOTH: It's a good one, Bones, now, on one's gonna admit to having Beaver's sheets.", "BRENNAN: Well, then we'll have to take them all.", "ELI ROUNDER: Oh! You can take mine, pretty lady.", "(He starts to undress)", "ROBERT HOOPER: Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, you heard him boys, give 'em your sheets.", "(They all take theirs sheets off which makes Brennan flush)", "BOOTH: I'll, humm, meet you back at the lab.", "ROBERT HOOPER: Can I...Can I offer you anything, ma'am?", "BRENNAN: No!", "Cut to - Front of the Diner.", "(Jared arrives on his bike)", "JARED: Hey, what do you think?", "BOOTH: Yeah, it's nice, not really gonna be much good around here in the wintertime, that's for sure", "JARED: You're always practical, huh, Seeley?", "BOOTH: Listen, I got you a job interview.", "JARED: Yeah?", "BOOTH: Ya, an army buddy of mine up in Pittsburgh is looking for someone to head up its criminal intelligence unit.", "JARED: You found me a job in less than 24 hours?", "BOOTH: Just an interview. You want to use my car?", "JARED: No", "BOOTH: Jared, you can't show up to a job interview on a bike!", "JARED: Seeley, I'm not going to the interview.", "BOOTH: Why?", "JARED: 'Cause I don't want a job. I'm gonna take this thing and I'm going in a trip.", "BOOTH: Oh, you're going on a trip? Where?", "JARED: I've always wanted to see India, without, y'know, spying on Pakistan.", "BOOTH: Oh, ok, I see. So, you're gonna somehow get this bike to India, ride it around. What if it breaks down? What are you gonna do for parts?", "JARED: What am I gonna do for parts, if It breaks down in India... That's all you have to say to me?", "BOOTH: You know what? Just go to the interview (He hands Jared that paper)", "JARED: Would you... (He grabs Booth's arm) You forgot to tell me to get shots and not talk to stangers.", "(Booth leaves)", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform", "(Brennan arrives)", "BRENNAN: So, where you able to match sheets with boys?", "HODGINS: Believe me, there was enough DNA on these sheets to paint a very clear picture of life at Beta Delta Sigma.", "CAM: For example, these two boys were carrying on a sexual relationship with each other.", "HODGINS: Yeah, and those two guys were sleeping with the same girl, although, refreshingly, not at the same time.", "BRENNAN: What about Beaver?", "HODGINS: Oh! Lots and lots of DNA.", "CAM: All of it, his own.", "BRENNAN: So there's no DNA on any of the sheets that could be Molly Briggs'?", "CAM: Vaginal contributions were found on eight of the sets of sheets; none from Molly Briggs, but Dr. Hodgins did find something more than semen on Beaver's sheets.", "HODGINS: Yea, I found evidence of a vegetable-based Lanol, assorted liposomes, Sepigel, and micronized estriol.", "CAM: Ointment.", "HODGINS: From the stains positions on the sheets, and its shape, which was approximately three inches long by 1 1/4 inch wide", "CAM: Okay, we get it!", "HODGINS: The substance appears to have transferred from the victim's pen1s directly to the bed sheet.", "BRENNAN: Adolescent males will use almost any available lubricant when m*st*rb*t*ng.", "CAM: Even estrogen cream?", "HODGINS: More plausible scenario has got Beaver sexing it up at a different location, and then coming home to his own bed, naked, and I refer you again to the imprint.", "BRENNAN: s*x with...", "HODGINS: An older woman, yeah, yeah, most likely menopausal.", "BRENNAN: Molly Briggs is twenty.", "CAM: Also, I finished my autopsy and the bullet shot by Greg Harmalard was definitely not the cause of death.", "BRENNAN: He was dead when it struck him?", "CAM: For at least 12 hours.", "BRENNAN: So we still have no cause of death?", "HODGINS: Well, I got a theory, kid died of dehydration, forgot to replenish his fluids", "(Hodgins grins while Cam and Brennan wince)", "Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house", "(Booth and Brennan enter Beaver's room)", "BRENNAN: Ok, what are we looking for this time?", "BOOTH: You know, photos, love notes, I don't know, fur, gray hair, anything that's gonna help us identify Beaver's cougar.", "BRENNAN: Beaver, otter, cougar, this case is like a day at the zoo!", "BOOTH: A cougar is an older woman who prefers younger man.", "BRENNAN: Wouldn't that indicate that every woman is a cougar?", "BOOTH: Thanks for the insight there, Bones. (Booth picks up a suitcase) Ok, what's the victim's birthday?", "BRENNAN: 11-05-89", "BOOTH: I'm Jared's older brother, you know, he should listen to me.", "BRENNAN: I can provide you with several societies where younger brothers are required under pry of death to do what their older brothers tell them.", "BOOTH: I like those societies.", "BRENNAN: Well, they're mostly extinct now.", "BOOTH: Did you give me Beaver's birthday the scientific way?", "BRENNAN: Day, month, year, if you want month-day-year, 05-11-89", "(Booth opens the suitcase)", "BOOTH: Ha-ah! Look at that! So when I ask a question, just answer in American, that's all (Booth open the suitcase, it's full of cash) Whoa, the kid had some cash.", "BRENNAN: Maybe he was a drug dealer?", "BOOTH: hmmm", "BRENNAN: What are those? (She picks up a notebook) some kind of code book?", "BOOTH: You got that right", "BRENNAN: Was our victim some kind of spy?", "BOOTH: Worse! Some kind of bookie.", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Angela's office.", "ANGELA: Well, Booth mostly broke the code. Column one is initials and nicknames, Beaver had approximately fifty regular clients. Column two is the day of the week BRENNAN: What is the significance of this sequence? Foot, bat, pig, dimple, fish BOOTH: Those are sports he took bets on, football, basketball, baseball, soccer, golf", "ANGELA: Beaver had over two thousand dollars in the suitcase. This whole operation generated twelve thousand Dollars this year.", "BOOTH: Whoa, no wonder this kid did not want to lose academic standing.", "ANGELA: Alright, now three of these people, Zimmer, CC and 4x4, they all owed him over three grand, a piece.", "BRENNAN: Do you think that could be motive?", "BOOTH: I bet those are the three guys, Sweets said were faking grief.", "ANGELA: Yeah, that is worth looking into. Ok, I found something else in his computer. A month ago, he hacked in the university's computer system and went straight to the chemistry's professor secure server and downloaded the exam.", "BOOTH: This guy was a true entrepreneur.", "ANGELA: Yeah, it was the third time he hacked in the chemistry's page", "BRENNAN: Who's the professor?", "ANGELA: Professor Marlene Twardosh BOOTH: Well... Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab", "ARASTOO: Out of all the damages the victim's remains suffered from the blunderbuss, twenty-three fractures. I discovered only three that occurred before he died.", "ANGELA: Do any of them offer us cause of death?", "ARASTOO: I think not. Both wrists sustained compressions fractures, the right radius, the left ulna and significant chipping to both the proximal and distal carpal rows and compressions of the lateral epicondyles.", "ANGELA: Ouch, what about the third?", "ARASTOO: Compression fracture, here, at the coccyx and the apex of the sacrum. These injuries appeared to have occurred at the same time.", "ANGELA: He fell backwards, tried to break his fall with his hands stretch behind him.", "ARASTOO: Dr. Hodgins had an idea of how to figure out the height from which the victim fell.", "ANGELA: Oh! That should be good!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to - Exterior of Middlesex College PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: The FBI is investigating student cheating? Who says America undervalues education?", "BRENNAN: Did any of your students do suspicioulsy well on your last exam?", "BOOTH: Starting with James Bouvier PROFESSOR", "TWARDOSH: Beaver has never done suspiciously well at anything, Agent Booth. He was about to be expelled because he failed my course.", "BOOTH: Did he show any signs that he wanted to do any better?", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: You mean begging for mercy? Or offering bribes or sexual favors, that sort of things?", "BRENNAN: Do you use an estrogen cream? (Booth winces at the question)", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: No... I make do with the meager hormones I produce naturally, why?", "BRENNAN: Did you have sexual intercourse with Beaver?", "BOOTH: What? (He looks disgusted)", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: I was joking about the sexual favors... BRENNAN: Also about the bribes? (Booth and Twardosh look at each other)", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: My God, you people are humorless.", "BRENNAN: Five students failed this exam PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: It was a tough exam", "BRENNAN: They got exactly the same score, 37%, what are the chances of that?", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: I teach chemistry, you'll have to ask professor Doowit in Statistics.", "BRENNAN: But the same five students did extremely well on the two tests preceding this one...", "BOOTH: Bones, what are you getting at?", "BRENNAN: I believe Professor Twardosh realized that those students had stolen her tests in the past and instead of informing the university, she planted a fake test online.", "BOOTH: To turn her students in?", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: No, that would results in hearings and excuses and tears and parents. I hate parents.", "BOOTH: Look, your college's experience was with professors, with was with students and jocks. What are you getting at here?", "BRENNAN: I believe Professor Twardosh took revenge against unethical students who had no respects for knowledge.", "BOOTH: And you approve?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I do! Beaver was obviously an emerging criminal", "(Twardosh smiles)", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: Thank you, I may need you to testify at my termination hearing when the university finds out.", "BOOTH: Can I ask you a question? What floor is your office on?", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: The third floor BRENNAN: Over grass?", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: Over flagstones. On my bad days, I consider jumping. You're a forensic anthropologist, correct, would it kill me?", "BRENNAN: No, Professor Twardosh, probably just break a few bones.", "PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: That's good to know!", "Cut to- FBI, lobby of Booth's office.", "(Booth and Sweets are walking in the lobby between the elevators, the kitchen and Booth's office)", "SWEETS: So, I checked out the nicknames of the kids who owed Beaver money", "BOOTH: Are those the guys you put down as not being sad he was dead?", "SWEETS: Huh, yeah, walking pretty fast!", "BOOTH: Huh, so did any of those three frat guys set off your psycho-killer alarm?", "SWEETS: No, no, no. They display a fairly banal mix of social awkwardness, narcissism, inappropriate fantasies, all within the normal range.", "BOOTH: Even the ROTC guy?", "SWEETS: Well, like most over-achievers, he displays a slight Oedipal neurosis. Will you share with me why you are so agitated?", "BOOTH: You know what? My brother Jared is ruining his life", "SWEETS: Oh! He's drinking again?", "BOOTH: No, I'm pretty sure he was dried out before his Court Martial.", "SWEETS: Then why the recent urge to self-destruct?", "BOOTH: I set up a perfectly great job interview for him, but instead he decides he just wants to travel across India on his motorcycle. Yeah, that's right, talk about a narcissistic dependence on stupidity!", "SWEETS: Uh huh, you are him!", "BOOTH: This is exactly why I don't talk to you about this kind of things.", "SWEETS: 'K, I'm gonna suggest that you're jealous of your brother's decision", "BOOTH: I don't want to go to India.", "SWEETS: You feel trapped here by the responsible nature of your job, your interpersonal relations.", "BOOTH: What?", "SWEETS: Whereas Jared is completely free.", "BOOTH: I am free! Free as a bird, free to do whatever I want!", "SWEETS: Yeah, what you're not free to do is control your brother's life.", "BOOTH: Control Jared? Good luck with that one!", "SWEETS: It's not for a lack of trying. Of course, you could always get a motorbike and go with him.", "BOOTH: A motorbike? A motorbike is used for people who deliver pizzas in Amsterdam. Yup. India is large and vast (Sweets gets in the elevator) Right! I'm getting an American motorcycle!", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab HODGINS: This dummy's exactly the same weight as our victim, correct?", "ARASTOO: 69.853 Kg, yes, and why are we the only ones here?", "HODGINS: I, uh, asked everyone to leave. Ok, now, I have installed four sensors in the wrists and in the back of the spine so we should be able to gage the height from which the victim fell, within a few centimeters, after only a few trials.", "ARASTOO: Why did you ask everyone to leave? Are we doing something shameful?", "HODGINS: Nah, it's just...last time I dropped something from up there, it bounced and injured An (Hodgins realizes he's about to say Angela's name) an innocent bystander, but nobody's here this time, so. (To his laptop) Coccyx text number one, Dr. Jack Hodgins supervising CAM: No, no, no, no HODGINS: I... CAM: no, no, HODGINS: But...", "CAM: No, stop! This is an unnecessary experiment. The height of the fall can be calculated mathematically.", "ARASTOO: That is true, but I decided to humor Dr Hodgins so we could bond over a project", "CAM: Why do you need to bond?", "ARASTOO: He mistrusts Muslims. (Hodgins nods in agreement)", "CAM: Go grab a beer together, but I am saying no to this experiment", "HODGINS: Yeah, I got that during the part where you said no, seven times in a row.", "CAM: I find that you don't pay attention during the first six. (Cam leaves)", "HODGINS: He can't drink beer, he's Muslim!", "Cut to - Angela's office.", "ANGELA: Hodgins and Arastooo have an estimate if how far the victim fell.", "CAM: 1.37 meters onto a hard surface.", "ANGELA: You know what this means, don't you?", "CAM: Yup! Dr. Brennan is gonna stare at the bones until they speak to her.", "ANGELA: So, rock, paper, scissors to see who stays to babysits her?", "CAM: Ok.", "(Angela pulls a rock, Cam pulls the scissors)", "ANGELA: Yess!", "CAM: Best two out of three!", "(Angela sighs, She pulls the paper while cam pulls the rock)", "CAM: Damn!", "Cut to - examination room", "(Brennan is examining every bone, one by one. She sees a small hole in the sternum)", "BRENNAN: Cam? (Cam comes in) Booth'll want to know, I found cause of death.", "CAM: Alright!", "Cut to - FBI meeting room CAM: Professor Twardosh was not Beaver's s*x partner BOOTH: 'K, did anyone think that? Honestly? Because I did not.", "BRENNAN: Booth believes that the cringe facto was too high, even though cringe factor is not a valid mathematical construct.", "BOOTH: Believe me, it is! Ok, so the three boys that owed Beaver money all have alibis.", "ANGELA: Four people bought the bogus exam from Beaver, all members of the golf team. At the time of his death though, they were at a tournament in North Carolina.", "BOOTH: Great, so all we know now is that golfers cheat a lot.", "BRENNAN: We know that Beaver was killed by being stabbed in the chest", "CAM: A very small hole, perhaps an ice pick, punctured his aorta, he bled to death.", "BRENNAN: We also know that shortly before he died, he fell backward 1.37 meters, fracturing his wrists and his coccyx.", "BOOTH: Ok, so he fell backwards, that makes sense", "ANGELA: Something's bothering me about this. I went through the kid's computer and there's absolutely no indication that he had the skills to hack in the University's secure server.", "BOOTH: Well, it was probably one of his fraternity brothers that hacked in.", "BRENNAN: Well, Mister Vaziri and I will figure out exactly what weapon killed Beaver.", "BOOTH: Right!", "(Booth turns around to leave)", "BRENNAN: What are you going to do?", "BOOTH: Uh, something personal", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Personal! Personal means personal, you know, not for the public (He leaves)", "BRENNAN: Uh...I'm not the public!", "Cut to - Diner", "(Jared and Booth are having lunch)", "BOOTH: You know, the roads suck in India, when they're dry and...and they turn into rivers when the monsoons come. I tell you what, trucks don't even give way to anyone.", "JARED: Will you give the lifeguard thing a rest, Seeley, alright?", "BOOTH: State department had advised that there's a heighten security concern for anyone travelling alone in India.", "JARED: Then come with me. I mean that way, now you can watch over me every minute.", "BOOTH: You know what? Everywhere you've gone, you've always had the full might of the United States government behind you", "JARED: Yeah, I know. You were a frontline guy, a fire eater and I was just a rear echelon wimp.", "BOOTH: I never said that", "JARED: If you're so worried, come along and I'll have the full might of Seeley Booth behind me.", "BOOTH: Seriously? I didn't think you were serious.", "JARED: I wasn't when I said it...but now I am. Yeah,I'm serious.", "BOOTH: You want me to come to India with you.", "(Jared nods)", "JARED: Ball's in your court, brother. (He leaves)", "Cut to - FBI Interrogation room", "(Sweets is interrogating Eli Rounder)", "ELI ROUNDER: I'm a freshman pledge; Beaver was kinda like my mentor in the fraternity.", "SWEETS: When Beaver, your mentor, asked you to hack in Professor Twardosh's files, to steal the test, what did you think?", "ELI ROUNDER: At first, I said no, but you know what?", "SWEETS: He was your brother.", "ELI ROUNDER: That's right. He was a brother who was on academic probation. I mean, he was gonna get expelled if he didn't pass the chem. Course, plus I know it may not have looked like it on the outside, but Beaver was a great guy. So, I had to help him.", "SWEETS: Our computer experts said some info was erased from Beaver's hard drive, erased by someone who knew what they were doing.", "(Eli raises his hand)", "ELI ROUNDER: That was me too. Jpg files, I think about thirty of them.", "SWEETS: Digital photographs?", "ELI ROUNDER: Yeah, I didn't see any of them, but before I permanently deleted them, Beaver had asked me to put four specific ones onto a USB drive. So I did it. Look, I told you everything, ok, but if my college finds out that I hacked in the chem test, they're gonna kick me to the curb, ok, they don't care about brothers.", "SWEETS: Well, I care about brothers, who are great guys, Eli, more importantly, I report to the FBI, not Middlesex College.", "ELI ROUNDER: Thanks Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab - Angela's office BOOTH: Ok, what have you got?", "CAM: We found the hacker. He told Sweets he put some very sensitive images in a USB drive for Beaver.", "BRENNAN: A damaged USB drive was amongst the shrapnel Mr. Vaziri removed from the remains. `", "ANGELA: There're four JPG files on this drive. Two of them are total goners, but here's what I got for number three.", "BOOTH: Concentrate there. That looks like a face ANGELA: Yeah, that's Beaver", "BRENNAN: Is he being tortured?", "CAM: Not exactly", "BOOTH: It's, uh, it's a s*x face, Bones. Can you pull up anything else to ID who he was with?", "ANGELA: No...but this one's almost done.", "BOOTH: Whoa", "BRENNAN: Is that a cougar?", "CAM: She could be in her forties", "BOOTH: Ok, print it and we'll see which member of the faculty this one is.", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform ARASTOO: There is no accelerated compression of the bone around the wound.", "BRENNAN: So, the shaft of the weapon was uniform in thickness. If there were no lip on the outside, then we'd know it was a projectile that caused the wound.", "ARASTOO: Yes, a one-way trip, so to speak, but since there was a lip, we know it was a return trip for the weapon into the aorta and back. As the weapon entered, it was going substantially faster than when it was withdrawn,", "BRENNAN: A shaft consistent with...", "(She pulls up a nail)", "ARASTOO: Someone hammered a nail in the victim then pulled it out?", "BRENNAN: No, not hammered, Mr. Vaziri, shot.", "ARASTOO: A nail gun?", "(She nods)", "BRENNAN: A nail gun.", "Cut to - Middlesex College BOOTH: You recognize this woman, Dean Warner.", "DEAN WARNER: Yes, I know this woman, where'd you get the photo?", "BRENNAN: Off the victim's computer.", "BOOTH: Who is she?", "DEAN WARNER: Her name is Meredith Warner. She's my wife.", "Cut to - FBI Interrogation room BOOTH: We've been trying to track down you wife, guess what?", "BRENNAN: It's been a week since anyone saw her.", "DEAN WARNER: You think I killed my wife and James Bouvier.", "BRENNAN: Have you seen the photographs before?", "DEAN WARNER: It was just over a week ago, which was when I suggested to Meredith that it was a good time for her to visit her sister in Toronto.", "BOOTH: Why was it a good time?", "DEAN WARNER: Because the boy threatened to put the photos of them together all over the internet if I didn't let him stay in school.", "BRENNAN: Beaver failed his chemistry test, you were going to expel him.", "DEAN WARNER: Yeah. I declined to be blackmailed.", "BRENNAN: Did the photos ever appear on the internet?", "DEAN WARNER: They did not BOOTH: Is that because you killed Beaver?", "DEAN WARNER: I have nothing more to say other than I did not kill the boy. I'm even a little sorry that he's dead. So either arrest me and let me call my lawyer or let me go.", "BOOTH: Okay! Vernon Warner, I am placing you under arrest for the murder of James Bouvier. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to remain silent.", "Cut to - Car BRENNAN: It doesn't make sense! I mean, logically, it doesn't make sense.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I know.", "BRENNAN: But the dean kills the kid with a nail gun and places him in the mascot costume that's full of leftovers.", "BOOTH: I know, doesn't make sense.", "BRENNAN: No, that's what I said", "BOOTH: Exactly, that's what I'm saying too! Doesn't make sense.", "BRENNAN: Why did you arrest him?", "BOOTH: Pissed me off, y'know, instead of helping, he starts screaming for a lawyer...Jared wants me to go to India with him.", "BRENNAN: Indiana?", "BOOTH: India! OK, Taj Mahal, cows, tigers, cobras, Slumdog Millionaire.", "BRENNAN: yes...I know. Are you going?", "BOOTH: We don't like each other.", "BRENNAN: So...not going?", "BOOTH: I mean, he's my brother, so I love him.", "BRENNAN: I'm confused, you are going?", "BOOTH: I mean, Jared should not go to India alone, he'll get in all kinds of trouble.", "BRENNAN: You said he's never been alone.", "BOOTH: Exactly, you know what? He'll get eaten alive", "BRENNAN: If you go with him, then he won't be alone, you won't let him be bad and his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raison, that's what you said. Makes no scientific sense.", "BOOTH: Yea, I said that...got it (He nods)", "Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab", "(Booth, Brennan and Arastoo are walking towards Brennan's office)", "ARASTOO: I did an inventory of the nails found in the victim's body. There were thirty-six.", "BRENNAN: Arastoo, we know the nail that pierced the aorta was pulled out of the victim.", "ARASTOO: Yes, but I thought, perhaps, the killer didn't throw it away. Perhaps, he simply left it on the body. One never knows.", "BOOTH: One never does", "ARASTOO: I examined the nails very carefully for marks that would confirm it was shot from a nail gun. A nail gun leaves distinctive marks, not from the hammering mechanism, you understand, but from the reloading mechanism.", "BOOTH: Why are you telling me this?", "ARASTOO: Dr. Brennan said to be especially polite with out when the science is difficult.", "BOOTH: How stupid do you people think I am?", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Do you recognize this nail?", "(She shows him the head of the nail, which has a star marking on it)", "BOOTH: Oh!", "Cut to - Float room", "(Booth, Brennan and Sweets enter the room housing the float, which is full of nails with the same star marking. Booth grabs the nail gun that is on the float and gets up on it. He shots a nail on one of the panels, then pulls it out to reveal the same star marking seen on the nail that was found in Beaver's remains. Sweets looks at the reactions from the students, and he singles out Molly Briggs)", "SWEETS: She's the one you want.", "Cut to - Interrogation room and the viewing room.", "(Booth and Brennan interrogate Molly Briggs while Sweets is looking on in the viewing room)", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Beaver came up to me, I was working on the float he wa always hitting on me.", "BOOTH: You didn't like Jimmy?", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Not in the way, y'know?", "BOOTH: Why did you shoot Beaver with the nail gun?", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Look, everybody went for a coffee, I stayed. Beaver must have been waiting, cause he shows up and he's all \"come on, everybody thinks we're doing it, might as well make it official\" and I've been up all night, all night, right, BOOTH: Working MOLLY BRIGGS: So he moves in closer and sticks his tongue right in my mouth. That's assault.", "BOOTH: Right. That is assault.", "(Brennan gets up and leaves the room)", "BOOTH: You're right. That is assault.", "MOLLY BRIGGS: And y'know, I've got this nail gun and I just pulled the trigger, and Beaver falls off the float, onto his back, and he's hurt. He's hurt with this nail sticking out of his chest and he says \"pull it out, pull it out\" and I say to him \"I've seen on TV, things like this, you leave it in, leave it in\" but he pulls it out himself.", "BOOTH: You're right and he dies", "(Brennan enters the viewing room)", "MOLLY BRIGGS: Everybody believed that we were sleeping together; maybe they would believe I killed him. So I put his body in the mascot, before anyone came back.", "BRENNAN: I Have to admit, I'm impressed you picked her out of the crowd. How did you do it?", "SWEETS: You're not gonna believe me anyway, you're just gonna say I guessed, so have it your way. I guessed. (He turns to leave)", "BRENNAN: No, I don't think you're serious. I'd...I'd like to know what you saw!", "Cut to - Founding Fathers", "(Booth entersand sits at the bar with Jared)", "BOOTH: Ok", "JARED: You're not coming, are you?", "BOOTH: You really wanted me to?", "JARED: Does it matter?", "BOOTH: You know, I was going to. I really was, but uh, I think you should go alone.", "JARED: You think it's a good idea for me to go to India.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I do, alone. Our whole lives, as kids, I was always standing behind you. Or you had the Navy stand behind you, but this time, y'know, I think you should stand alone. You don't need your big brother.", "JARED: So, come as a friend.", "BOOTH: We both know, I'm not your friend. I'm your big brother.", "JARED: Yup (They cling bottles)", "BOOTH: Alright, right, so, got you something.", "(Booth puts a medallion on the counter)", "JARED: It's Grandpa's St-Christopher's medallion.", "BOOTH: Noo, no. It's a new one. I got you that.", "JARED: Seeley, it looks like the one Grandpa gave you.", "BOOTH: Nooo, Grandpa gave me mine when I was shipped out to the rangers. This one, I'm giving to you. Patron Saint of Travelers. It kept me safe in Somalia; let's hope it does the same for you in India. Wear it around your neck.", "JARED: I don't know man, am I alone if I take a Saint with me?", "BOOTH: You're not alone (Booth smiles)", "JARED: Thanks", "(Jared gets up to leave)", "BOOTH: Hey! Don't forget your jacket!", "(Jared leaves. Booth goes on the other side of the bar and sits where Brennan joins him)", "BRENNAN: How'd he take it?", "BOOTH: Ahh, it's Jared, meaning I have no idea.", "BRENNAN: So, uh, do you...do you really think you have to be bad to be good?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I do.", "BRENNAN: Well, I've never done anything bad.", "BOOTH: I believe you", "BRENNAN: I mean, I've made mistakes, of course, but I've never purposely done anything bad.", "BOOTH: And I believe you.", "BRENNAN: I don't want my frontal lobe to be a dried up raisin.", "BOOTH: You know what? We're going to do something bad now!", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: Have you ever dined and dashed? You know the concept, right? We're gonna run outta here without paying the bill.", "BRENNAN: No...That's stealing", "BOOTH: That's why they call it bad. We're doing something bad.", "BRENNAN: No! No! I can't...really? NO", "BOOTH: Come on", "(Booth gets up)", "BRENNAN: No!", "BOOTH: One", "BRENNAN: Are you serious?", "BOOTH: Two", "BRENNAN: Oh my God!", "BOOTH: Three Go, go go", "(She gets up and starts running. Booth takes out a bill from his pocket and leaves it on the bar. He runs after her)", "BRENNAN: No, No, OH! We're bad. We're bad", "BOOTH: Get in the car", "BRENNAN: Woohoo! We're baaaaad!", "END." ]

[ "The team is on the case when human remains are found inside a barrel of wine during a wine tasting. When the victim turns out to be a wine critic whose scathing reviews were capable of sending a vineyard to its ruin, everyone from the winery's owner to the victim's own wife becomes a suspect. Meanwhile, Brennan decides to have a baby and asks Booth to be the father; when Booth begins to doubt himself, he finds himself talking to Stewie Griffin from Family Guy ." ]

[ "\"The Critic in the Cabernet\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: Bedford Creek Vineyard, Aging Cellar- Several people stand around a wine cask sampling wine.)", "SEAN MORTENSON: Now this cab is young, so limited finish, of course, but still has a nice depth.", "DR. LES GRANGER: I can taste cherries, a bit of ginger...", "KIM MORTENSON: Plums and cassis.", "RACHEL GRANGER: And a hint of dark chocolate. Lovely.", "BRUCE HANOVER: In another five years, it's going to be an exceptional wine.", "SEAN MORTENSON: Yes, Bruce is a magician with my grapes. Of course, he convinced me to sink a mint into the vineyard over the last two years alone. But, money well spent.", "DR. LES GRANGER: You're going to make Virginia the next California, Sean.", "SEAN MORTENSON: Doc, wait until you taste the '97. Gotta be the best year we've ever had at Bedford Creek. Wouldn't you say, Bruce?", "BRUCE HANOVER: Perfect balance of sun and rain, limestone and gravel. It was a year one dreams about. Now, some sediment is normal, especially in such a big wine.", "(Bruce pours several glasses of wine and passes them out. They toast and begin to drink. They make faces and gagging sounds and spit it out.)", "SEAN MORTENSON: What the hell is going on, Bruce?", "BRUCE HANOVER: I don't know, sir.", "RACHEL GRANGER: Something's in my glass.", "(Her husband reaches into her glass and pulls out a purple object.)", "DR. LESS GRANGER: My God, that's a human finger!", "(Rachel screams and drops her glass which shatters on the ground. The other guests make similar gestures .)", "(Cut to: Dr. Lance Sweets' office at the FBI building. He's having a session with Booth and Brennan.)", "SWEETS: (He opens the blinds on his office window and walks back to sit down in his chair.) It's quite simple. Whatever Agent Booth says, you respond with whatever word or phrase pops into your head. And vice versa.", "BRENNAN: Well that's ridiculous. I can't properly respond without careful thought.", "BOOTH: Can't we just make it a drinking game?", "SWEETS: No. This is a valuable, psychological tool, Agent Booth. When you respond viscerally we can get to the root of your emotional issues and figure out what binds you two together as partners.", "BOOTH: Donuts.", "SWEETS: Beg your pardon?", "BOOTH: Donuts. Glazed donuts. I see 'em right there.", "BRENNAN: Because you had no breakfast. You're hungry.", "BOOTH: I'm starving.", "BRENNAN: Yeah.", "SWEETS: No, that's not the proper response.", "BRENNAN: Of course it is, I'm explaining why he said \"donuts\".", "SWEETS: The point of the exercise is not to explain, but to respond. Okay? Children can do this.", "BRENNAN: Because it's childish.", "SWEETS: Can we just try it, please?", "BOOTH: All right, okay, fine, here we go. Are you ready? Hunger.", "BRENNAN: s*x.", "BOOTH: Whoa.", "BRENNAN: Horse.", "BOOTH: Cowboy.", "BRENNAN: Child.", "BOOTH: Baby.", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: What, what do you think I'm a baby?", "BRENNAN: You're a father.", "BOOTH: Oh. Mother.", "BRENNAN: Birth.", "BOOTH: Happy.", "BRENNAN: Sperm.", "BOOTH: Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?", "SWEETS: No, keep going.", "BOOTH: Okay. Egg.", "BRENNAN: I want a baby.", "BOOTH: Whoa.", "BRENNAN: Horse.", "BOOTH: Wait. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.", "SWEETS: Yeah, we can stop here.", "BRENNAN: I actually found that quite interesting.", "BOOTH: You want to have a baby?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I do. I just-I just realized it. I should have a progeny. It's selfish of me not to.", "BOOTH: Selfish?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Don't you need a, you know, guy to...", "BRENNAN: Just sperm. You'd be a very good donor, potentially.", "BOOTH: Me?", "BRENNAN: But you need to be tested, of course. (Booth's cell phone starts ringing.) What, is something wrong?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Okay. You don't just go around asking for people's sperm. (He answers the phone and talks into it.) Yeah? No, I wasn't talking to you. Uh, right. Yeah, okay. On our way. (To Brennan.) We got a case.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "(She and Booth get up and head for the door.)", "SWEETS: Uh, wait. Perhaps we should discuss this.", "BRENNAN: I'm not conflicted if that's what you're concerned about. I've made a reasonable choice.", "BOOTH: In two seconds over some stupid game.", "SWEETS: This is a well researched, therapeutic technique, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Oh, really? This happens all the time-patients asking for sperm?", "SWEETS: Yeah-no, well not this specifically. Which is why I think some discussion is in order.", "BRENNAN: Shouldn't we go? Don't we have a case?", "BOOTH: Yeah. You're right. We gotta get going. Right. (Points at Sweets.) This is all your fault.", "SWEETS: Okay, I know this was surprising, but... (Booth slams the door in his face.)", "(Cut to: Bedford Creek Winery; Aging Room. Booth and Brennan are walking toward the cask with the human remains in it.)", "BRENNAN: You're the one who's always touting parenthood, implying that my life is incomplete because I don't have a child.", "BOOTH: I know, but this is kind of sudden.", "BRENNAN: Hmm, perhaps you don't want to help me.", "BOOTH: Of course I do.", "BRENNAN: So you'll do it?", "BOOTH: I'll think about it.", "BRENNAN: What? I don't understand. It's a simple request. I'm sure you engage in masturba...", "BOOTH: Whoa.", "BRENNAN: Horse.", "BOOTH: Enough. Okay, we'll talk about it later.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm not asking for you to be involved. All I want is your sperm.", "BOOTH: (Bursts out laughing, obviously a fake laugh.) That's a good one. \"All I want is your sperm.\" (He puts his arm around Brennan and aims his laughter at the forensic tech.) I've never heard that joke before.", "BRENNAN: I don't understand.", "BOOTH: Yeah, okay. All right. (To the FBI forensic tech Marcus Geier) Just close your mouth and point us to the body, okay?", "MARCUS: The barrel's over here.", "(They approach the barrel which is having the lid removed to reveal a very goopy, very purple mass with a few discernable human bones floating in it.)", "BOOTH: Whoa.", "SEAN MORTENSON: Dr. Granger said it was a human bone, but... that's impossible. This may be an animal, a rat. That could happen, right?", "BOOTH: And you are?", "MORTENSON: Uh, Sean Mortenson. This is my winery. And this is Bruce Hanover, my viticulturalist.", "BRENNAN: The remains are human.", "HANOVER: The cask has been sealed since 1997. I did it myself.", "BRENNAN: The seal must have been broken when the body was thrown in here. Exposure to air turned the wine to vinegar.", "BOOTH: Looks like a purple smurf.", "BRENNAN: Pelvic bone indicates a male. (She bends the bone back and forth, like rubber.)", "BOOTH: More like a rubber purple smurf.", "BRENNAN: Bones in vinegar leech calcium and will become gelatinous within three days.", "BOOTH: That is actually cool.", "BRENNAN: This cask is filled with debris, decomposed tissue and organs. It all has to come back to the lab.", "(Brennan pulls the skull out and Hanover gags. She and Booth look at each other.)", "MORTENSON: Oh, God.", "ACT ONE", "(Open: Medico-Legal Lab platform. Camile Saroyan, Jack Hodgins, Brennan and Intern Colin Fisher are examining the gelatinous remains.)", "CAM: Liquefactions suggests he's been there at least eight months.", "BRENNAN: Scapula, clavicle.", "CAM: Fat globule.", "FISHER: We're all just one step away from dissolving into the primordial ooze. Manubrium and ilium.", "CAM: Rendered brain matter.", "HODGINS: You got a sock, a belt.", "BRENNAN: Molar, lateral incisor and... canine.", "CAM: And this is just goo.", "HODGINS: Okay, I got a grommet, three nickels, and I am guessing a chocolate kiss.", "CAM: Bingo! A chunk of liver, enough for a tox screen.", "FISHER: My guess-you'll find a high alcohol content.", "BRENNAN: Tibia. I've decided to have a baby. (Everyone turns to stare at her in shock.) Capitulum.", "CAM: Wait. Baby, like a small human?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I know I've had no interest in the past. But neither did you and you seem to find parenthood very fulfilling.", "CAM: Uh, yes. I do. And you brought this up now... why?", "BRENNAN: Well, I wanted to give you notice. I'll be needing some time off when the baby comes. About six weeks I imagine. The staining makes it very difficult to see any anomalies on the bones.", "HODGINS: Is there a father?", "BRENNAN: Well, I'd like to use Booth's sperm.", "CAM: Booth. Whadda ya know?", "FISHER: If Booth doesn't work out, I donate my sperm monthly. I have a high IQ, excellent genetics, and motility. No emotional baggage. I'm kind of a catch.", "HODGINS: Okay. Down boy.", "CAM: Weren't we investigating a death?", "(Angela approaches the exam table.)", "ANGELA: Oh, my God.", "HODGINS: Dr. Brennan wants to have a baby.", "FISHER: I offered my sperm, but she's leaning more toward Agent Booth.", "ANGELA: You're joking, right?", "BRENNAN: Booth and I discussed it in Sweets' office. He's thinking it over now. Although, I don't understand why he'd be protective of his semen.", "(Angela, Cam and Hodgins look at each other in disbelief.)", "BRENNAN: There are six evenly-spaced cavities along the sides of the frontal and parietal bones. (To Hodgins.) Hand me that grommet you found.", "HODGINS: Uh.", "FISHER: (Whispers.) Grommet.", "HODGINS: The grommet. Yes. Right. Mm-hmm. There you go. (He hands the pitri dish to Cam who hands it to Brennan.)", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "FISHER: I could get you my little swimmers at a substantial savings.", "ANGELA: Uh, Fisher, just scoop please.", "FISHER: Sure.", "BRENNAN: (Sets the grommet in a divet in the skull.) He had a craniofacial implant.", "CAM: The way they're spaced, they're positioned to secure a prosthetic hairpiece. Those are not very common.", "FISHER: I'll strain for the rug.", "BRENNAN: If there's a missing persons report on the victim, it would definitely mention a surgical hairpiece. You can also replace the teeth in the mandible and confirm with dentals.", "ANGELA: Bren...", "(Brennan exits. Angela turns to the others.)", "ANGELA: We heard right, didn't we?", "HODGINS: A baby. Yeah.", "CAM: With Booth.", "(Cut to: Brennan's office. Angela enters.)", "ANGELA: Brennan?", "BRENNAN: There's a fracture on the zygomatic. Probably from a blow to the face.", "ANGELA: The guy is pickled, Sweetie. He can wait. You can't just announce you're having a baby and walk away.", "BRENNAN: 15,000 babies are born every hour. It's not all that exceptional, Angela.", "ANGELA: Brennan... this is crazy.", "BRENNAN: Why? I'm intellectually gifted, financially secure. Statistically I could expect to have an exceptional child.", "ANGELA: Fine. Yes. Absolutely. But you do know how this is supposed to work, right? You get naked together. You devour each other in a passionate frenzy.", "BRENNAN: Booth would think that would create an emotional bond between us.", "ANGELA: Of course that's ridiculous.", "BRENNAN: I knew you'd understand.", "ANGELA: Then why use Booth at all? Why don't you use Fisher and his discount sperm?", "BRENNAN: No, Booth has a larger mandible and a more prominent zygomatic than Fisher, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilia.", "ANGELA: So, it's because Booth is hot. Now we're getting somewhere.", "BRENNAN: Statistically, attractive people are more successful. I'm only thinking of the child, Angela.", "ANGELA: Then do this right, sweetie.", "BRENNAN: I am. Emotional ties are ephemeral and undependable. Look at you and Hodgins. You and Roxy. Booth and Rebecca. Booth and Cam.", "ANGELA: Brennan, I...", "BRENNAN: I appreciate your concern, but I have thought this through rationally. This fracture hasn't fully remodeled. It occurred within a month of death. Possibly from an attack.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Booth's Office. Cam and Booth are talking and walking into the office.)", "CAM: The victim is Spencer Holt. Missing almost a year. He was a wine critic. Apparently he could destroy a vineyard with one review.", "BOOTH: Everyone likes a dead critic. I mean there's-we're going to have a lot of suspects. So, why are you here and why didn't you just send an e-mail?", "CAM: You and Brennan, you're going to have a baby?", "BOOTH: She told you.", "CAM: She told everyone. It's probably on the news by now.", "BOOTH: I'm just donating.", "CAM: So you decided?", "BOOTH: No, no. I am deciding. I-N-G, ing.", "CAM: I know you, Seeley. You're going to do it. You want to do it without really doing it. But it's still doing it even if you're not doing it the way it should be done.", "BOOTH: She wants a kid, okay? It'll make her more personable with people.", "CAM: And what will it do for you?", "BOOTH: She'll get what she wanted.", "CAM: A piece of you?", "BOOTH: Oh, look at this. Okay, Holt's wife filed for a missing persons report. Now, I have to go tell her the bad news.", "CAM: Sure.", "BOOTH: You done?", "CAM: Yes.", "BOOTH: Thank you.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan driving in the SUV.)", "BOOTH: So apparently, Holt's wife was pregnant when he disappeared.", "BRENNAN: So she's raising the child alone?", "BOOTH: I guess so.", "BRENNAN: You know, and no one thinks twice about that. There are millions of single women raising healthy, productive children. (Looks down at the file in her lap.) There was a domestic disturbance report filed a month before he disappeared.", "BOOTH: Uh, you know, if we go, uh, through with this, and I'm around, and if you need help...", "BRENNAN: Well, I'll have a nanny.", "BOOTH: I-I figured. But, you know, if it's her day off.", "BRENNAN: You don't have faith that I can do it?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: You think I'd be a good mother, don't you?", "BOOTH: Yeah, of course.", "BRENNAN: I know sometimes you don't think I'm empathetic. And it can be difficult for me sometimes. But I would love my child, Booth, I would.", "BOOTH: I know. I-I know that, Bones.", "BRENNAN: I know people disapprove. If you're uncomfortable, Fisher sells his sperm monthly, he's very intelligent and...", "BOOTH: Oh, Fisher? Fi-Oh, no, you are not having Fisher's kids. You'd be giving birth to the spawn of Satan, okay? I'll do it.", "BRENNAN: No obligation. I don't want you to feel any obligation.", "BOOTH: I'll do it. Don't worry about it, okay? It's your kid, it's totally yours.", "BRENNAN: Not worried about it.", "BOOTH: I'm just saying I'll do it.", "ACT TWO", "(Open: Jenny Holt's house. Jenny is working on a playset and her daughter is sitting in a baby seat. Booth and Brennan are questioning her.)", "JENNY: You hold out hope, but in my heart, I've known for months. What happened?", "BOOTH: Well, we don't' know yet; we're still investigating.", "BRENNAN: He was found at Bedford Creek winery.", "JENNY: At Bedford Creek?", "BOOTH: You been there?", "JENNY: I'm the wife of a wine critic. I've had to sit through tastings at half the places in the country. I don't even like wine. (The baby starts to fuss.) Oh, God. I'm all covered.", "BRENNAN: I'll get her.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "JENNY: Spencer always wanted me to give up my carpentry business. Said I smelled of stain. Ruined the bouquet when he was tasting the wine.", "BOOTH: Bones, you need help?", "BRENNAN: No, no, I'm fine.", "BOOTH: You gotta help with the...", "BRENNAN: (Swings the baby back and forth in her arms.) You like spatial disorientation, don't you? Yes, you do.", "JENNY: She likes you. All Spencer could ever talk about was having a little girl. He would've made a good father.", "(Jenny wipes her hands and takes her daughter from Brennan.)", "BRENNAN: Your husband also exhibited a facial fracture that hadn't fully remodeled.", "JENNY: Yes. He tried to break up a fight at the wine expo. Mortenson was going after Charles Dunwood.", "BOOTH: Mortenson from Bedford Creek?", "JENNY: He's a real b*st*rd.", "BOOTH: He and your husband didn't get along?", "JENNY: No, Mortenson loved him. Spencer gave his cabernet a 99. No one gets that. It was Charlie Dunwood Mortenson hated. Because Charlie made a cheap wine next door and he wouldn't sell out to Mortenson.", "BRENNAN: And you saw this fight?", "JENNY: No. They all deny it, of course. But Spencer told me about it.", "BOOTH: There was a domestic disturbance report filed approximately one month before your husband disappeared. Can you explain that?", "JENNY: Our neighbor heard us arguing. That's all. She called the police.", "BRENNAN: The report says it was more than an argument, Mrs. Holt.", "JENNY: I threw some dishes. But not at Spencer. It was just the pregnancy hormones, you know? I would ever hurt Spencer.", "(Cut to: Booth and Brennan driving in the SUV)", "BRENNAN: You don't believe the victim's wife?", "BOOTH: I just think that we should check with this guy Dunwood. He might have a different story.", "BRENNAN: What about the owner of Bedford Creek Winery?", "BOOTH: Mortenson is rich. If he's involved, you don't want to spook him or he's just gonna hire an army full of lawyers to come make our lives miserable.", "BRENNAN: Would you like legal protection?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: With the child, so you feel secure that I won't be asking for money or support.", "BOOTH: No, I-I don't need legal protection.", "BRENNAN: But if you do...", "BOOTH: I don't.", "BRENNAN: Okay. I've made an appointment for you at the fertility clinic. They will check your semen for motility, morphology, sperm count.", "BOOTH: My boys can swim, alright? I have a child, do you remember?", "BRENNAN: This isn't personal. I-I'd be remiss if I didn't look at an analysis of your semen. It's a very simple process. You just go to the clinic, give a sample. It takes five minutes. They have pornography, if you need stimulus.", "BOOTH: I get it.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: You really liked holding that kid, didn't you?", "BRENNAN: Yeah. I've been thinking about how exciting it will be to expose my own child to early pattern recognition.", "BOOTH: You know, they like singing and, uh, when you make funny faces at them, too.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, of course. I will make a diverse schedule.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Hodgins and Fisher are straining the goop for evidence.)", "HODGINS: You know when it doesn't contain human remains, Bedford Creek makes an excellent cab. It's very full-bodied. It's like an Australian Shiraz.", "FISHER: I only drink diet soda. I'm hoping the preservatives can add some stability to my life.", "HODGINS: (Pulls something out of the goop.) Here's a little pocket knife. And some glass fragments embedded in the fabric from his shirt.", "FISHER: There's some scraping on the anterior of this rib. I got a gouge on the third rib and one here on the sternum.", "HODGINS: You think he was stabbed?", "FISHER: I can't tell from the incised edges, because the bones are soft and completely stained from soaking in the wine.", "HODGINS: Man, I can barely get wine stains out of my shirt, let alone a skeleton.", "FISHER: But your shirt isn't composed of calcium. Oh, my God. I can clean them. This is weird. Something good is happening.", "HODGINS: Take a deep breath; I'm sure it'll pass.", "FISHER: The approximate weight of the bones is 12.43 kilograms. I'm gonna need 781 boxes of denture cleaner.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Booth's Office. Brennan is sitting next to Charlie Dunwood. Booth is sitting at his desk.)", "DUNWOOD: Ah, shame about Holt. He was a good guy. One of the only critics who didn't dump on my wine.", "BRENNAN: But your wine sells for three dollars a bottle.", "DUNWOOD: That's right, yeah. In a bottle or a box. It's a good honest drink.", "BOOTH: It's good.", "BRENNAN: I didn't know you knew anything about wine.", "Booth: It's good stuff. It's like the beer of wine.", "DUNWOOD: Holt got that. He knew I wasn't trying to be more.", "BOOTH: Holt's wife said that, um, he had to break up a fight between you and Mortenson from Bedford Creek Winery.", "DUNWOOD: Yeah. Yeah, it was at the wine expo, in the parking lot. I told Holt to stay out of it. I shoved Mortenson, all right? The guy was in my face. Holt got in the middle, right when Mortenson was taking a swing, so he took the hit. Mortenson walked out. Just left him.", "BOOTH: What was the fight about?", "DUNWOOD: My vineyard is next door to his, and uh, he thinks I'm an embarrassment. He wants to buy me out. He threatened some bogus lawsuits. My family's been working those fields since 1928. This is my life.", "BRENNAN: So you had no issue with Mr. Holt?", "DUNWOOD: Hell, no. You know, if he were alive, I'd pat him on the back.", "BOOTH: For what?", "DUNWOOD: For taking that b*st*rd Mortenson down a peg.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but he loves Bedford Creek wine.", "DUNWOOD: Yeah. But I heard he loves sleeping with Mortenson's wife even more.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Cam, Hodgins and Fisher are standing around a large tank with the bones submerged in water. Fisher dumps buckets of denture cleaner into the water and it fizzes.)", "CAM: Is that what I think it is?", "HODGINS: Were you thinking sodium perborate and potassium monpersulfate?", "CAM: Actually, I was thinking Nana Shirley's teeth.", "FISHER: More like 781 sets of Nana Shirley's teeth.", "HODGINS: Fisher says this will remove the staining from the bones.", "FISHER: Could. I said could. There is no certainty but death and the incomprehensible conundrum that is life.", "CAM: Fisher, have you ever just taken a moment to forget yourself? Watch, like, the Three Stooges and just laugh?", "FISHER: Yeah, I never found humor in grown men giving each other concussions with construction equipment.", "CAM: (Turns to Hodgins.) I tried. Tox screen on the remnants of the liver was inconclusive.", "HODGINS: Yeah, the vinegar will obscure just about everything.", "CAM: But I did find some inorganic agents mixed in with the liquefied tissue. Might help us find cause of death.", "FISHER: I think I found stab wounds on the ribs and sternum. We'll know more if we can clean the stains.", "ACT THREE", "(Open: Medical Dental Office. Booth has gone to give his semen sample at the clinic. A nurse is instructing him on the correct procedure.)", "NURSE: It's quite simple. You just ejaculate into the cup. (She and Booth step into a small room.) Here we go, Mr. Booth. You look a little flushed, are you okay?", "BOOTH: Sure. Yeah, I'm fine.", "NURSE: Sometimes men can feel awkward. Knowing people out there know what you're doing in here.", "BOOTH: Thanks for that.", "NURSE: You know what to do?", "BOOTH: You're kidding, right?", "NURSE: Okay. There are magazines and videos, if you need them. Enjoy.", "(Nurse closes the door to the room and Booth looks around, then turns to lock the door when the television suddenly comes on. Stewie from the Family Guy is talking to Booth.)", "STEWIE: Why are you here at the bank, Booth?", "BOOTH: (Surprised, he whirls around.) Ahhh.", "STEWIE: You've got a hot doctor friend. Go to her and make a direct deposit like a man.", "BOOTH: (He goes to the television punches the power button off, the screen goes black. He turns away from the television.) That's impossible.", "STEWIE: (The television magically comes back on.) And yet we converse.", "BOOTH: (Again, surprised.) Oohh.", "STEWIE: Ooo, look. A pile of p0rn. Delicious. Give me a peek, Booth. Mmm? Just a little peek at a booby? Please?", "(Booth unplugs the television and the screen goes black again.)", "STEWIE: What's the problem? You're threatened by a cute, harmless baby? Grow a set! You do want her to have your baby, don't you?", "BOOTH: Of course I do, it's just, I want her to have a baby because it's what she wants.", "STEWIE: And you could just walk away like a heartless cad while she changes poo all by her lonesome?", "BOOTH: (Raising his voice.) It's what she wants!", "NURSE: (Knocks and speaks from the other side of the door.) Are you okay in there, Mr. Booth?", "BOOTH: Uh, I'm fine. (Grabs some DVDs and holds them up, turning around.) Just, uh, fine, thank you. (Back to Stewie.) Listen, could you just go away now, okay? I don't need your help.", "STEWIE: You know, you're not a bad looking fellow, and if you'd just keep an open mind...", "BOOTH: Go back to cartoon land, wherever you came from. Leave!", "STEWIE: You sure? I'm good at pretend games.", "BOOTH: (Uses the remote control to turn the television off and the screen goes black once more. Booth stares at it for a moment before shaking his head.) That wasn't possible.", "(Cut to: FBI Building, Booth's office. Booth is sitting in his chair, tapping himself in the forehead when Sweets walks in.)", "SWEETS: Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: (Gets up and walks toward his desk.) Sweets, hey!", "SWEETS: How you doing?", "BOOTH: I'm fine, great. Turns out that, uh, the victim might have been sleeping with Mortenson's wife, huh? Jealousy, always a good motive.", "SWEETS: Yeah, that's good. But right now, I'm more interested in whether you decided to inseminate Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: God, you know. Don't say it like that.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry. I'm interested in whether you decided to provide your semen for her fertilization.", "BOOTH: Saying it like that is worse. (Starts pacing restlessly.)", "SWEETS: Okay, well, I could go with \"baby daddy\" but that just seems even more...", "BOOTH: I'm gonna do it. Hey, I've already made the deposit. That's right. Apparently, I am a god. That's right. Motile sperm count: 28.8 million. I could start my own country. (Spins and points to his globe.)", "SWEETS: Okay, then. Well, I'm sure you'll be going through a lot of emotional changes because of this, so if you need to talk...", "BOOTH: Thank you, but um, it's her baby, so it's gonna be her life that's turned upside-down, not mine.", "SWEETS: So you're not at all stressed by this?", "BOOTH: Sweets, I'm an FBI agent, okay? And a former sniper. This is not a life or death situation, you understand?", "SWEETS: Yeah, sure. Well, if you need anything, I'm available.", "BOOTH: I don't need anything, okay? I am just doing what, you know, anyone else would in this situation, right? (Picks up a football and tosses it to Sweets, then sits down on his cabinet and sighs.)", "SWEETS: Like, what?", "BOOTH: Just... I got a little, you know, anxious at the clinic.", "SWEETS: Anxious?", "BOOTH: Anxious. Don't get all shrinky on me.", "SWEETS: No, no. Uh, what kind of symptoms? Shortness of breath, lightheaded?", "BOOTH: It's normal, right?", "SWEETS: Absolutely. Sometimes donors can feel an emotional attachment, even if they don't know the recipient. But in this case, since you and Dr. Brennan are...", "BOOTH: It's normal to imagine things?", "SWEETS: Well, not pink elephants, but...", "BOOTH: No, no, no, of course not. Like, um, baby things.", "SWEETS: It'd be odd if you didn't.", "BOOTH: Ha! It'd be odd if I didn't. You're my guy. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks, Sweets. Thanks, uh, I gotta go, you know, take care of somebody. (He leaves Sweets standing in his office.)", "SWEETS: No problem. Anytime.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Exam Room. Brennan and Fisher are looking at the clean white bones.)", "BRENNAN: There are tiny fractures near the coronal sutures. We never would have noticed these before. The denture cleaner was an excellent idea, Mr. Fisher.", "FISHER: Now if I only possessed rudimentary social skills.", "BRENNAN: They aren't really necessary for your work.", "FISHER: I wish my parents were that understanding. You're gonna be a good mother.", "BRENNAN: I would imagine so. (Turns the rubbery skull over in her hands.) Evidence of hemorrhaging on the underside of the fractures. There was a perimortem blow to the head. (Her phone rings and she hands the skull to Fisher and pulls her gloves off, grabbing her phone from her pocket and answering it.) Brennan. (She listens for a few seconds.) Okay. Uh, Booth is waiting for me. Check the degree of hemorrhagic staining to see if it was cause of death.", "FISHER: If Booth is still reluctant...", "BRENNAN: No, he offered-28.8 million viable sperm in a mere three milliliters of ejactulate. (She leaves.)", "FISHER: As the feeling of inadequacy makes me shrivel.", "(Cut to: Bedford Creek Winery; Mortenson Home. Kim Mortenson, holding her infant son, leads Booth and Brennan into a parlor.)", "KIM: Spencer Holt was a big supporter of Bedford Creek wines. He was here for numerous tastings.", "BRENNAN: Your little boy is adorable.", "KIM: Oh, thank you.", "BRENNAN: (Holds her hands out to the baby.) Phalanges, dancing phalanges.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: Right, sorry. So, you were sleeping with Spencer Holt, weren't you?", "BOOTH: Subtle.", "KIM: Sleeping with him? Of course not. Who told you that?", "BOOTH: Seems like your husband had, uh, quite the temper, huh?", "KIM: Charlie Dunwood, right?", "BRENNAN: (Looking at the baby.) That is not your husband's child.", "KIM: What? I think you should leave.", "BRENNAN: The bone markers bear a clear resemblance to Spencer Holt.", "BOOTH: They do?", "BRENNAN: Research shows that babies strongly resemble their fathers in the first year of life. The evolutionary theory being that they're less likely to be abandoned if the fathers recognize themselves in their offspring.", "KIM: What is she talking about?", "BOOTH: Oh, does that mean that your kid will look like me, at least for the first year?", "BRENNAN: There's a high statistical probability, yes. (Takes out her camera and takes a picture of the baby.)", "KIM: Excuse me.", "BRENNAN: I can compare these photos against Spencer Holt's remains. The maxilla and nasal aperture...", "KIM: Stop. My husband could come in any moment.", "BOOTH: So it's true?", "KIM: Sean and I tried. It's all about business with him, but I really wanted a child. Spencer understood, and one night after a little too much wine... I appreciate everything Sean does for me, but Spencer was, you know...", "BOOTH: Kind?", "KIM: I wish he had the chance to see his child.", "BRENNAN: So does his wife.", "BOOTH: Maybe your husband found out you were having an affair, and uh, he decided to get rid of Mr. Holt. Seems like the kind of guy who likes to get what he wants.", "KIM: Sean has a temper, but he would never hurt anyone.", "SEAN MORTENSON: (Enters, looking angry to find Booth and Brennan talking to his wife.) What the hell are you doing, Kim?", "BOOTH: We were just asking a few questions about Spencer Holt.", "SEAN: Uh huh. (To Kim.) You keep your mouth shut. (To Booth.) Now look, I told you everything when you found him, and we're not saying anything else without our attorneys present. Is that clear?", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Cam's Office. Cam and Angela are talking as Cam sits down at her desk.)", "ANGELA: I tried to talk to Brennan about that whole baby thing. She won't listen to me.", "CAM: Neither will Booth. Guess all we can do is board up the windows and hope the levees hold.", "ANGELA: It's none of our business.", "CAM: Exactly right.", "ANGELA: Oh, that kid is gonna be so cute, though.", "CAM: Please, we're gonna go nuts.", "ANGELA: I bought it a little onesy today.", "HODGINS: (Enters.) I got the results back on the inorganic goo. (Puts the file on Cam's desk and picks up a remote for the computer.) Contains calcium arsenates.", "CAM: Aresenic.", "HODGINS: Yeah, it was on his clothes and mixed in with the tissue.", "ANGELA: So, he was poisoned?", "CAM: This isn't a high enough concentration to kill him.", "HODGINS: Booth said Holt's wife worked with wood building playsets? Aresenic is used in stains and wood preservatives. It's tough to wash off.", "CAM: So Jenny Holt found out her husband was cheating on her, stabbed him, and left us a chemical fingerprint.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Interrogation Room. Jenny Holt is sitting across the table from Booth.)", "JENNY: Spencer traveled a lot, visiting vineyards across the country and Europe, South America. That's why I waited to file the missing person's report.", "BOOTH: He was missing for ten days. You didn't even talk to him during that time?", "JENNY: We'd been having some trouble in our marriage, but we loved each other.", "BOOTH: You know he was having an affair with, uh, Kim Mortenson?", "JENNY: Yes, I knew about Kim, but we would have gotten past it. When the baby was born, we would have gotten closer, like we had been.", "BOOTH: Did you know he was the father of Kim's baby, too?", "JENNY: What?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "JENNY: No, that's impossible.", "BOOTH: Knowing that he was having an affair is one thing, but knowing he fathered another child while you were pregnant-that would put anyone over the edge.", "JENNY: I didn't kill Spencer, I loved him.", "BOOTH: In your work, um, do you use stains or wood preservatives that contain arsenic?", "JENNY: There are traces, yes.", "BOOTH: Arsenic was found on his clothes, in his wounds in an amount that could easily have been transferred from the assailant during an attack.", "JENNY: Why would I leave my little girl without a father? Why would I do that to her?", "BOOTH: Where were you for the ten days he went missing?", "JENNY: That was months ago. I couldn't tell you. No one could.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Exam Room. Hodgins, Angela, Brennan and Fisher are still going over the bones. Hodgins is pointing to something on the screen.)", "HODGINS: All of the injuries to the ribs and sternum had silica embedded in them which matched all of the glass shards found in the wine cask and on Holt's clothes.", "BRENNAN: Yes, these injuries to the ribs and sternum-(turns to Angela) can you connect the impact points?", "ANGELA: Why, you think Holt's wife was making a design when she was attacking him?", "BRENNAN: There are three main impact points. What if they were a circular pattern?", "ANGELA: Okay, well, a circumference... (a 3D model on the screen shows the circular pattern on the bones) the circle is nine and a half inches.", "BRENNAN: What is the circumference of a wine bottle?", "HODGINS: My guess, nine and a half inches.", "ANGELA: Yeah, let's see. Yep, nine and a half inches.", "BRENNAN: Okay, get some Bedford Creek wine. See if the bottle was sufficient to cause these injuries and the hemorrhagic staining at the coronal suture.", "(They all leave the exam room, Hodgins and Fisher walk together.)", "FISHER: You know, a watermelon is the same density as the human head.", "HODGINS: Oh, I like the way you think, Fisher.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Sweet's Office. Brennan and Booth are talking to Sweets.)", "BRENNAN: I have an appointment with a fertility specialist next week. I could be inseminated within a month.", "BOOTH: Really?", "BRENNAN: Mmhmm.", "SWEETS: You didn't tell Agent Booth?", "BRENNAN: I promised him he wouldn't have to be involved.", "BOOTH: Right, exactly. You see, 'cause we have a...an arrangement.", "BRENNAN: Well, I thought that these sessions were meant for you to see how we interact as partners. How does this relate?", "SWEETS: You're using Agent Booth to have a child. You don't see how that might relate to your partnership?", "BRENNAN: It has nothing to do with our work.", "SWEETS: Okay, um, let me just organize my thoughts here.", "BRENNAN: It's not like I'm going to be bringing the child along when we interrogate someone.", "BOOTH: Ah, but you might decide to breastfeed. It is healthier.", "BRENNAN: Oh, that's true. So, yes, there might be some crossover. I can see that now. I'm sorry, go on.", "SWEETS: I think you need to acknowledge that there are some emotional considerations that you might be denying.", "BRENNAN: Like what?", "SWEETS: There are sperm banks that guarantee high IQs and exceptional physical prowess, yet you specifically chose Agent Booth. Why?", "BRENNAN: He has traits like courage and compassion and empathy that would be tremendous assets to my child. Sperm banks don't catalog those traits.", "BOOTH: Did you just say something nice?", "BRENNAN: No, I gave an objective evaluation.", "BOOTH: Oh, because it sounded like you said something nice.", "BRENNAN: No.", "SWEETS: How can you two not see what is going on here?", "BOOTH: Sweets, what is the big deal? She was gonna have a baby anyway, I mean, with Fisher. Fisher, okay? What would you have done?", "SWEETS: Again, what I would have done is not important, but you, you admitted to feelings of anxiety.", "BOOTH: You know what, Sweets? You are crossing a line right there.", "BRENNAN: I agree.", "SWEETS: No, I'm not actually. In my position, I could make an evaluation that states that you two are not suited to work together because of interpersonal issues that are not being dealt with.", "BRENNAN: Ridiculous.", "BOOTH: Dreamer.", "SWEETS: So perhaps until our next session, maybe you should think about some of the things that I brought up today.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Exam Room. Fisher and Hodgins have watermelons lined up on a table.)", "HODGINS: Hmm, it's confirmed by the modeling. Yep, the shards of glass found in the cask have the same thatch design as the base of the Bedford Creek bottles.", "FISHER: So, we know the bottle was from Bedford Creek. Then we don't have to do the experiment.", "HODGINS: We have all the melons already, you know, and the bottles...", "FISHER: Confirmation would be beneficial.", "HODGINS: We'd be remiss if we didn't confirm.", "FISHER: Yeah.", "(They grin and pull their safety goggles down over their eyes.)", "HODGINS: Sorry, Mr. Holt.", "(Hodgins slams the bottle into the melon, which is completely smashed but leaves the bottle intact.)", "FISHER: That bottle was supposed to break.", "HODGINS: Yeah, otherwise, the injuries make no sense. You're sure a melon has the same density as a human head?", "FISHER: Would I waste our time? Give me that. (He reaches for the bottle and smashes it into another melon with the same result. He looks pretty happy.) I enjoyed that too much, didn't I?", "HODGINS: It's important to love your work. Maybe she hit him with the narrow end. (He grabs it back and turns it around and smashes it into the next melon with the same result.)", "FISHER: She was a carpenter, more strength. (He grabs it and brings it down into the melon with a primal yell just as Cam walks in wearing a pretty dress and looking nice. She ends up with smashed melon guts all over her.)", "(Fisher and Hodgins both look very apologetic and shocked as Cam begins to pick the melon off herself.)", "CAM: I was going out to dinner.", "HODGINS: Would you like a towel?", "CAM: Very much.", "HODGINS: (Hands Cam a towel.) The Bedford Creek bottles, they wouldn't have broken.", "FISHER: But it would have smashed his skull.", "CAM: But you said the design you found on the glass confirmed that it was a Bedford Creek bottle.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but... these bottles wouldn't have provided the injuries that we found.", "CAM: So... after all this, we have no weapon or cause of death?", "(Fisher and Hodgins look blank.)", "CAM: Okay. (She throws the towel at Hodgins and walks out.)", "FISHER: Whoops.", "ACT FOUR", "(Open: Medico-Legal Lab. Angela and Brennan are walking.)", "ANGELA: Did you ever think, what if Booth is the perfect father for your child? Not just his stuff, but him. What if you're throwing away the chance to have a family, a real family, because you're scared?", "BRENNAN: Scared? Why would I be scared? I've been to Rwanda, to Iraq...", "ANGELA: (She stops and turns to face Brennan.) Listen, you just said you wanted to do this alone because feelings are ephemeral. So is life, Brennan. We're here one minute, and then we're gone the next. You should know that better than anybody. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever gonna touch you.", "BRENNAN: Sweets said that it's not his job to tell somebody what they're feeling or how they should live their life. (She walks away.)", "ANGELA: Lucky thing I'm not a shrink.", "(They both walk to a station where Hodgins, Fisher and Cam are standing around a computer.)", "HODGINS: The bottles were counterfeits.", "BRENNAN: Counterfeit?", "HODGINS: Yep. Even though the design was the same, the glass found in the cask had a lower concentration of dolomite and magnesium dioxide than the real Bedford Creek bottles.", "FISHER: Someone's been counterfeiting Bedford Creek Cabernet.", "ANGELA: A bottle of Bedford Creek sells for over a hundred bucks.", "CAM: So if someone fills counterfeit bottles with cheap wine and ships out a couple thousand cases saying it's from Bedford Creek, they could make some serious money.", "HODGINS: Yeah, exactly. Now, I also found that the arsenic compound I thought was from the stain contains parathion. (He speaks to Brennan and she gets a look of understanding.)", "CAM: Okay, we don't know what that means.", "BRENNAN: It's an organophosphate used as an insecticide.", "HODGINS: The only vineyard in the area licensed to use it by the EPA is Dunwood Winery.", "BRENNAN: Charles Dunwood.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Interrogation Room. Charles Dunwood is sitting at the table when Booth and Brennan walk in and sit down.)", "BOOTH: We found cases of this in your warehouse. (He is holding a bottle and shows it to Dunwood.) You were counterfeiting Bedford Creek wine.", "BRENNAN: You charged a hundred dollars for a three-dollar wine.", "BOOTH: The stupid wine snobs, they don't even know the difference.", "BRENNAN: But Holt did. He found out, didn't he? He was going to tell Mortenson.", "DUNWOOD: It was none of Holt's business. I told him to stay out of it. I need the money to fight Mortenson's bogus lawsuits. I wasn't gonna let that b*st*rd take my place. My family's been there for over 80 years.", "STEWIE: Is this man a complete dunce? (Stewie appears in the room next to Dunwood, sitting in his high chair. He waves at Booth.)", "BOOTH: Oh, God.", "BRENNAN: Booth, what is it?", "STEWIE: Why doesn't he just clam up and ask for a lawyer? (To Dunwood.) You sir, are a boob!", "BOOTH: (To Stewie.) Some people, they just feel remorse, and they want to set the record straight.", "STEWIE: Oh please! He makes wine a homeless person wouldn't cook with. He never felt remorse about that.", "BOOTH: Nobody asked you.", "BRENNAN: Booth, who are you talking to?", "DUNWOOD: What's going on?", "BOOTH: Nothing, just, um, go on.", "DUNWOOD: I followed him to Mortenson's. He had one of the bottles. And it was late and...", "STEWIE: And you cornered him in the wine cellar and beat him to death to shut him up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We know.", "BOOTH: Will you shut up? Shut up!", "BRENNAN: Booth, who are you talking to?", "STEWIE: So, are you going to let her have this baby alone?", "BOOTH: I didn't say that.", "STEWIE: You are! You're going to abandon your child! Oh, night's deepest gloom washes over my tiny frame.", "BOOTH: No, no, I-I can't walk away. I never said that, okay? Do you understand? I can't walk away. This is my kid. If I can't be involved, I don't want her to have the baby!", "STEWIE: And the sun shines again! Good man, Boothie!", "DUNWOOD: What the hell's going on here?", "BRENNAN: (To Dunwood.) You shut up and don't move. (To Booth.) Booth, you're coming with me. (She grabs him by the arm and hauls him to his feet and to the door.)", "STEWIE: Hey, hey, wait! Stop! You're leaving a helpless child alone with a killer! Stop!", "(Outside the interrogation room.)", "BRENNAN: Hey, what is going on?", "BOOTH: I can't do it. Listen, I have to be involved. If I'm the father, then... I have to be a father.", "BRENNAN: You were seeing something in there-what were you seeing?", "BOOTH: Stewie-you know, the baby from The Family Guy.", "BRENNAN: You-you saw Stewie... in there? In the interrogation room?", "BOOTH: So what do you say about the kid?", "BRENNAN: Fine, I won't have a baby.", "BOOTH: Fine? That's it?", "BRENNAN: No, it doesn't matter now-we're going to the hospital.", "BOOTH: It's no big deal, okay?", "BRENNAN: It is. Booth, you thought you saw Luc Robitaille and then the ghost of a dead friend and now a cartoon baby. Trust me, something is wrong. Trust me.", "(Cut to: Hospital Waiting Room. Cam, Hodgins, Sweets, and Angela are all waiting to hear back on Booth's condition.)", "SWEETS: They should have the CAT scan results by now.", "CAM: They're getting a second opinion.", "SWEETS: Well then the other doctor should have been standing by.", "ANGELA: Are you alright, Sweets?", "SWEETS: No, no, I'm not. I'm not the-the level-headed shrink at the moment... I'm just the guy whose friend is in trouble, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Okay? I'm sorry. I just need a moment. (Walks away.)", "ANGELA: Sure.", "(Hodgins moves to sit on the couch next to Angela.)", "HODGINS: Man, just when you think you know what's what. Man, we can't take anything for granted, can we?", "ANGELA: Why is it so easy to forget that?", "HODGINS: Ange, when we split, either one of us could've stopped it. It would've been easy.", "ANGELA: I know.", "HODGINS: It would be just as easy... to begin again.", "(Brennan approaches the waiting room and everyone stands to hear the news.)", "BRENNAN: They think it's a crebellar pilocytic astrocytoma.", "SWEETS: Oh, God. That sounds bad.", "BRENNAN: Brain tumor. It's usually benign.", "CAM: Usually.", "BRENNAN: They're prepping him for surgery now.", "HODGINS: Wow. So fast.", "BRENNAN: They didn't want to take any chances.", "ANGELA: Go. He shouldn't be alone before he goes in there, Brennan.", "BRENNAN: I just wanted all of you to know (She chokes up.)... statistically, he should be fine. (Everyone nods. Angela hugs her and she returns the hug, then disengages.) This isn't about me. (She walks away.)", "(Cut to: Hospital Surgery Prep Room. Booth is being worked on by a few nurses and techs, taking his vitals and prepping him for surgery. He's looking for Brennan. She finally appears in the window outside the room and they smile at each other before she enters and stands at the foot of the bed.)", "BRENNAN: The surgery should take about two hours.", "BOOTH: (Nods.) I was getting used to hallucinating. It's gonna get lonely. (They both laugh softly.)", "BRENNAN: You're gonna be fine, Booth. Dr. Jurzik is one of the best.", "BOOTH: Would you come in there with me, to the operating room?", "BRENNAN: No, I'll see you in Recovery.", "BOOTH: Oh, come on, what are you gonna do, sit in the waiting room and read all those old magazines for hours?", "BRENNAN: I'm not a neurologist, Booth, or a surgeon.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but you're a genius. That's good enough for me. Plus, you'll know if they're screwing up.", "BRENNAN: I'll ask.", "(A doctor enters the room.)", "DOCTOR: (To a tech.) I'll let you know when we're ready for that, uh... thanks. (He gets to Booth's bedside and lifts his wrist.) Hi. Let me just take a look.", "(Booth motions toward the doctor with his head, telling Brennan to ask.)", "BRENNAN: Uh, excuse me. (She takes the doctor aside.)", "(Cut to: Hospital Hallway. They are wheeling Booth to the operating room. Brennan is next to him. She is wearing scrubs and was evidently permitted to be in the room during his surgery.)", "BOOTH: (To the nurses wheeling the bed down the hall.) Can we just stop for a second? Can you just give me a minute, please?", "(The nurses back off and leave Booth and Brennan alone.)", "BRENNAN: What's wrong?", "BOOTH: Listen, Bones, if I don't make it...", "BRENNAN: Booth, you're gonna be fine.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but if I'm not... I want you to have my stuff. You know, for a kid.", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: I want you to. You're gonna be a really good mom.", "BRENNAN: You're gonna be fine, Booth. I'll be right here.", "BOOTH: I'm ready.", "(Brennan looks around for the nurses who come back and start wheeling Booth down the hall again. Brennan holds his hand as they push through a set of double doors and the scene whites out.)" ]

[ "It's been six weeks since Booth and Brennan have seen each other. Booth has been recovering from brain surgery, and Brennan has been on a dig in Guatemala. Angela's psychic, Avalon Harmonia, reveals while reading Angela's tarot cards that there are multiple bodies buried under a Washington, DC fountain. Angela shares the information with Brennan and Booth, but they're both a little skeptical considering the source. The lead pans out, and the duo find the remains of 11 bodies exactly where the psychic said they would be. Meanwhile, Sweets has certified Booth mentally fit to return to duty after his brain surgery, but Booth is still experiencing some side effects from the coma." ]

[ "\"Harbingers in the Fountain\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: Garden. Day. AVALON, ANGELA, and BRENNAN are sitting at a stone picnic table. AVALON turns over a Temperance tarot card.)", "AVALON: Temperance ANGELA: First card she turns over is literally your name. Are you going to tell me this is a coincidence?", "BRENNAN: Yes, a 1 in 78 chance.", "AVALON: It was on top. It's not really speaking to me. (AVALON turns over anther card: IX with a man sitting weeping on a bed.)", "AVALON: Ok, I see a sick man in a hospital. He takes refuge in a dream life. (AVALON turns over the XI card with a couple on it.) You're there in the dream and you're helping him to create that dream life by tellin' him a story. (AVALON turns over a X card where a couple is walking happily together towards a building.) You're both so happy in the story, so happy it's almost sad when he wakens.", "BRENNAN: Ok, no offense to you and your psychic, but I just got off of a flight from Guatemala. I wanna go check in with Cam and then shower and change.", "(AVALON turns over the VI card, entitled \"The Lovers.\")", "ANGELA: Ohhh.", "AVALON: The man whose life you saved is really excited to see you again.", "BRENNAN: No, I don't save lives. People are already dead when I get to them.", "AVALON: I'm pretty sure you saved somebody's life. (AVALON turns over a VIII card entitled \"Strength.\") A man with a heart of a lion.", "ANGELA: Booth has a lion heart!", "BOOTH: (off screen) I do not like cats.", "(Cut to BOOTH and SWEETS in Sweet's office.)", "SWEETS: (sitting) Well that's consistent with the person you were before your brain surgery.", "(BOOTH is sitting on the couch opposite wearing a T-shirt and jeans and has grown some stubble.)", "BOOTH: I don't own a nightclub, I'm not married to Bones, you are not a zany bartender, and I hate clowns. So, can I go back to work now?", "SWEETS: When our sense of reality is challenged, you know, really challenged, it can take some time to regain our footing.", "BOOTH: Look, it's been six weeks since I put my brain box through the blender there, ok. I am back baby, huh? (stands up) Special agent Seeley Joseph Booth.", "SWEETS: Have you been in touch with Dr. Brennan since your release from the hospital?", "(BOOTH sits and lets out a deep breath.)", "BOOTH: Uh, no. She's uh you know in Guatemala there, digging up Aztecs.", "SWEETS: Do you miss anything about the alternative life you experienced while in a coma?", "(pause)", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(pause)", "BOOTH: The clothes. Mm, I miss those clothes. They were great clothes.", "SWEETS: Ok, I am certifying you as fit for duty. (SWEETS stands up and walks left off screen during BOOTH's next line.)", "BOOTH: I am fit for duty.", "SWEETS: That's what I'm saying.", "BOOTH: Yeah, and what I'm saying to you is, (stands up) heh, you don't have to certify me for anything, (SWEETS comes back on screen, carrying his briefcase.) pal, 'cuz I told you, I'm back.", "SWEETS: Well, heh, in fact (sits down) you had amnesia, slurring of speech, identity confusion, (gives BOOTH his gun back) headaches, irritability, and double vision, so yeah, as a psychologist, I do have to certify you for duty. W-Why are you arguing?", "BOOTH: I'm not arguing.", "(BOOTH opens the door, turns around, and flashes his badge and a huge smile at SWEETS.)", "AVALON: (off screen) This man was lost.", "(Cut to the previous garden scene.)", "AVALON: You brought him the light that showed him the way home. Without it, he would've died.", "ANGELA: Oh, Booth was in a coma. Brennan read him the book she was writing. When Booth woke up, he thought that they had a whole different life together. He thought that they were married. He thought that for days.", "AVALON: You were joined at that time. You're still joined.", "BRENNAN: Nothing either of you is saying makes sense.", "(BRENNAN stands up to leave. AVALON turns over a X card, with a picture of a couple embracing, looking at a rainbow, and two children playing with each other.)", "AVALON: Were you pregnant?", "BRENNAN: What? No, of course not.", "AVALON: I mean in your book.", "BRENNAN: No, I deleted the book. I-I'm tired Angela. I'm gonna go check in at the office and then go home. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Romania. (BRENNAN takes her suitcase and walks away.)", "ANGELA: Underneath the icy exterior beats a very warm heart.", "AVALON: Her life is at a very critical turning point, between great happiness...", "(AVALON turns over a XIII card entitled \"Death.\")", "ANGELA: That's death.", "(Cut to BRENNAN wheeling her suitcase into the Jeffersonian lab. CAM enters the shot.)", "CAM: Dr. Brennan! Would you care to hug?", "BRENNAN: Why?", "CAM: Ok. I'm... good with that. Welcome home.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. W-What did Booth do while I was gone, solve boring normal murders?", "CAM: He hasn't been reinstated yet.", "BRENNAN: The doctors told me that he'd be fine in a couple of days, that's why I went.", "CAM: Sweets is examining Booth today, fingers crossed. (CAM exits.)", "(HODGINS enters and hugs BRENNAN.)", "BRENNAN: Oh, uh, I'm uh happy to see you too.", "HODGINS: Oh, I'm happy personally and professionally. Unsolved murders have gone up a thousand percent since you've left.", "BRENNAN: Well, I find that hard to believe. (BRENNAN exits.)", "HODGINS: Rough estimate. Welcome back!", "(Camera shifts to BRENNAN again. She is walking into her office.)", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "(BRENNAN leaves her suitcase by her desk. She crosses to the couch, throws her purse on the floor in front of it, takes off her coat and scarf as she starts to sit down. She ends up sitting on BOOTH, who was sleeping on the couch obscured from the viewer. Both of them scramble up.)", "BRENNAN: Whoa! Oh! Booth!", "BOOTH: Bones!", "BOOTH/BRENNAN: Hey! (They hug.)", "BOOTH: Hi! (BRENNAN laughs. BOOTH stops smiling as the hug lengthens and pulls away.)", "BOOTH: Look at that, I'm reinstated on the day that you come home. That's the weirdest coinkidink ever.", "BRENNAN: No, it's not even the weirdest coinkidink today. But if you were reinstated today why are you dressed like a furniture mover?", "BOOTH: Well Sweets he just um cleared me so I came straight over to tell ya.", "BRENNAN: What took you so long to recover?", "BOOTH: Oh, um, don't worry, nothing wrong with me. I'm 110%.", "BRENNAN: Well, you know there's nothing more than 100%, right?", "(ANGELA enters.)", "ANGELA: Hey, Brennan. Hey Booth.", "BOOTH: Hey.", "ANGELA: Listen guys, there are a bunch of bodies buried under the Taversham fountain.", "BOOTH: How do you know that?", "ANGELA: Avalon told me.", "BOOTH: Who's Avalon?", "BRENNAN: Avalon is Angela's psychic.", "BOOTH: (sticking his tongue out) Phfffft.", "BRENNAN: See, even superstitious Booth doesn't believe in psychics.", "ANGELA: That's interesting because she says that you two were linked in a very profound and spiritual manner.", "(BOOTH looks at BRENNAN, unsure.)", "BRENNAN: (imitating BOOTH) Phfff.", "BOOTH: Phfff.", "ANGELA: Oh really, well she also says that in your weirdo alternate shared life experience thing that Brennan was pregnant. (BOOTH looks at BRENNAN again, then down at the floor.) It's odd that neither of you mentioned that.", "(ANGELA exits. BRENNAN gives BOOTH a look, but BOOTH is still looking down. She looks away and BOOTH gives her a look. They exchange a few more looks.)", "BOOTH: Let's go check it out.", "BRENNAN: What? No. Why?", "BOOTH: Six weeks Bones, I'm going stir crazy here okay? Look, let me suit up.", "BRENNAN: Can I at least take a shower?", "BOOTH: Yeah I need to shave.", "(Cut to exterior garden. A gardener is using a metal rod to turn a metal plate in the ground.)", "BOOTH: So this ground penetrating radar can really see things?", "(Camera shifts to BOOTH and BRENNAN walking around a fountain. BOOTH is pushing the ground penetrating radar machine. BRENNAN is holding the viewfinder.)", "BRENNAN: Yeah, a lot clearer than a psychic. You're dressed very oddly.", "BOOTH: What do you mean? This is regulation FBI.", "BRENNAN: Well what about the garish socks and the gaudy tie? What, you don't remember? You resist regimentation with these tiny symbols of rebellion.", "BOOTH: Nah, I remember. I remember, okay? Let me just re-acclimate myself at my own speed here, okay? What is that?", "(Close up of the radar screen.)", "BRENNAN: Nothing. Because there's nothing here (cut back to BRENNAN and BOOTH walking) because there's no such thing as a psychic.", "BOOTH: In my coma dream you were pregnant.", "BRENNAN: Sweets said that your dream was nothing more than your comatose brain processing what I read to you from my book.", "BOOTH: Wait, the point is how did the psychic know that if she isn't psychic?", "(The radar starts beeping)", "BRENNAN: Oh, the psychic was right.", "BOOTH: What about us being linked in a very profound manner? What is it? What do you see?", "BRENNAN: It's human remains. Lots of human remains.", "(Camera zooms underground to reveal a human skull and bones.)", "(Cut to opening credits.)", "(Cut to a close up of the radar screen.)", "CAROLINE: What's that supposed to be?", "BOOTH: Bones says dead people.", "(Cut to BRENNAN, BOOTH, and CAROLINE at the fountain. There are now a couple of cops with cars and a crowd of bystanders has formed.)", "BRENNAN: At least eight, maybe more.", "CAROLINE: Is there any chance these are very old remains of settlers or Indians who should be left in peace?", "BRENNAN: Yes, except for that.", "CAROLINE: What's that?", "BRENNAN: Plastic disk.", "BOOTH: Fine, listen, Bones wants to start digging, I'm wanna go talk to the psychic who sent us here.", "CAROLINE: I did not hear psychic, I heard anonymous source.", "BOOTH: Just get Bones the warrant that she needs so she can start digging.", "CAROLINE: Wow, you are keen to get back to work. Got something to prove, sheery?", "BRENNAN: Well it is plausible Booth feels the urge to prove that he's no longer brain damaged.", "CAROLINE: You can start. I can get the warrant in ten minutes.", "(CAROLINE exits.)", "BOOTH: (smiling) Yes, we're back! (He tries to hi-five BRENNAN.)", "BRENNAN: You're the one who told me never to look happy at a crime scene.", "BOOTH: Right. We'll look happy after we find out who did this horrible crime and get them behind bars.", "BRENNAN: All right.", "(Cut to AVALON and BOOTH in an interrogation room at the FBI.)", "AVALON: (putting her tarot cards between them on the table) It's very hard for me to explain my process.", "BOOTH: Well you're gonna have to do better than, um, 'I'm a psychic.'\"", "AVALON: You're the man who was in a comma, aren't you? Would you pick a card please?", "(AVALON and BOOTH stare each other down.)", "BOOTH: Um, okay. Um... (He picks a card)", "(AVALON turns over a card with a picture of a king on his throne.)", "AVALON: You're worried you lost something.", "BOOTH: Look, M-Miss Harmonia, I really don't need a tarot card reading right now. What I need to know is how you knew that those people were buried under the Taversham fountain.", "AVALON: It's all in the cards, Agent Booth. You can't argue with what's in the cards. You never lost anything in that coma, Agent Booth. You gained something.", "(Cut to a shot of the White House from the air. Dusk.)", "(Cut to a shaft near the fountain. Cop cars are set up as a perimeter. Jeffersonian workers are moving above the shaft. Night.)", "(Cut to the interior of the shaft where BRENNAN and HODGINS are working.)", "BRENNAN: The remains are all in the soil beneath a layer of gravel.", "HODGINS: Ten years ago they renovated the fountain. They raised it on hydraulic lifts, sunk a series of shafts, mucked out the clay, laid down a layer of gravel, and then poured cement over that.", "BRENNAN: So it's reasonable to assume that the bodies were tossed down the shaft before the gravel was dumped.", "HODGINS: I've got samples of the soil, gravel, scrapings from the cement, and this. (HODGINS holds up a piece of fabric with tweezers.)", "HODGINS: If we're lucky it's something the murderer left behind.", "BRENNAN: Well you might as well head back to the lab. Start analyzing your samples.", "(ANGELA enters, climbing down a ladder into the shaft.)", "ANGELA: Oh my god. This is like climbing down into a grave here.", "HODGINS: It's great. Us back together again, chasing criminals.", "ANGELA: Yeah, a pit full of mass murder victims. What's not to love...", "(HODGINS exits)", "BRENNAN: As soon as I get the skull free, I'd like you to start facial reconstruction.", "ANGELA: Sweetie, does the fact that Avalon was right about these bodies make you rethink her abilities?", "BRENNAN: Ang, I have met dozens of shamans, medicine men, so-called holy people over the years and I've never seen any hard evidence that they're in touch with any spirit world (BRENNAN puts a skull in a box) where the laws of physics don't apply.", "ANGELA: Until now.", "BRENNAN: This is actual evidence, Angela, not some mumbo jumbo from a deck of tarot cards. (BRENNAN hands the box to ANGELA)", "(Cut to a bar. CAM and BOOTH are drinking.)", "CAM: First drink since the brain operation?", "BOOTH: Yeah, since uh, you know getting back to work.", "CAM: I'm honored. An auspicious occasion. So what do you want?", "BOOTH: Just wanna share a drink, you know, with one of my closest and dearest friends who, you know, I can trust um with certain things.", "CAM: Oh god. There's lasting brain damage isn't there? Something you haven't told anyone.", "BOOTH: What?", "CAM: Are you hearing voices?", "BOOTH: No.", "CAM: Seeley if you're hearing voices that's really quite serious.", "BOOTH: (to CAM) That's nice. (to the bartender who has given BOOTH another round) thank you. (to CAM) I know, I'm not hearing voices Camille, all right. Relax. It's just, well, I did forget that I wore goofy socks so we can do one for that huh? (BOOTH and CAM take the shots)", "CAM: The things that make you a good cop have nothing to do with the socks. What's really on your mind?", "(BOOTH lets out a big breath.)", "BOOTH: All right, um, that place that, I went to, you know, in my coma dream, it was just Bones and I. It was so real.", "CAM: You're in love with Dr. Brennan.", "(BOOTH stares at CAM who is smiling at him, then looks away. There is a significant pause.)", "BOOTH: What I'm wondering is, am I the same guy?", "CAM: A sweet, kick-ass, FBI murder-solver with hard fists and a lion heart? Yeah, you're still him. My advice, for what it's worth: forget the bruised brain, and go with your lion heart.", "BOOTH: Right, right yeah, and uh tell Bones how I feel.", "CAM: Yes, except be sure about your feelings because if you crack that shell, and you change your mind, she'll die of loneliness before she'll ever trust anyone ever again.", "BARTENDER: [in the background] Coming right up.", "BOOTH: Right.", "(Cut to the shaft at the fountain where BRENNAN is working. There is a music montage [\"Fearless\" (Acoustic) by Cyndi Lauper ] throughout the cuts.)", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian lab, where HODGINS is analyzing his samples.)", "(Cut to ANGELA's office where she is reconstructing the face to the skull.)", "(Cut to BRENNAN taking a bone and putting it in a box.)", "(Cut to HODGINS looking in a microscope at his sample.)", "(Cut to BOOTH's office, where he has put on colorful socks. He sits down in front of his desk and puts his feet up.)", "(Cut to ANGELA manipulating a computer program.)", "(Cut to BRENNAN pulling out a minidisk from the soil.)", "(Cut to BOOTH sitting on his desk, looking at newspaper articles about BRENNAN and his partnership.", "(Cut to the shaft. BRENNAN is still working.)", "BOOTH: (off screen) Hey Bones.", "BRENNAN: What time is it?", "BOOTH: Oh it's early.", "BRENNAN: What are you doing here?", "BOOTH: I...I hate this part of the case, you know, when you're doing stuff and I'm just at home doing nothing... BRENNAN: I-I have something for you do to.", "BOOTH: Right.", "(BRENNAN turns to walk over and pick up an evidence bag. The minidisk is inside. She walks back to BOOTH and hands it to him.)", "BRENNAN: This is um, the disk we saw in the GPR.", "(There is a long pause. BOOTH looks at the disk and BRENNAN at BOOTH.)", "BOOTH: Yeah uh, hey, look at that, mini-disk. Definitely 90s technology.", "(BOOTH climbs up the ladder, talking as he goes.)", "BRENNAN: But, don't you wanna go to breakfast?", "BOOTH: No time, I gotta you know get this to my people so they can find out the manufacturer and all that hooey and get it to Angela so she has all the information she needs to [unintelligible]", "BRENNAN: But no one is awake except you and me. (BOOTH exits.)", "(BRENNAN stares up where BOOTH was.)", "(Cut to a conference room at the FBI. SWEETS, CAROLINE, and BOOTH are present. Day.)", "SWEETS: (walking around the room) Avalon Harmonia is her professional psychic name. Born Sephanie Susan James. No criminal history. (leaning against a chair) No known criminal associations and in my professional psychological opinion, not a nut bar.", "CAROLINE: (sitting) Law abiding and sane does not explain twelve buried skeletons.", "BOOTH: (standing with a cup of coffee) She honestly thinks that she's psychic, I mean, she really does.", "CAROLINE: If she's not psychic then she's involved. I don't believe in psychics.", "SWEETS: Well, neither did I. Do I. Present tense.", "BOOTH: She got to you, huh Sweets?", "SWEETS: Ok, check it out, my Dad's watch goes missing three months ago.", "BOOTH: Right.", "SWEETS: I have no idea where it is. She tells me it's in the pocket of a jacket that I forgot I owned at the unclaimed goods at the FBI drycleaner. (BOOTH shrugs) Yeah.", "(CAROLINE looks dumbfounded. SWEETS exits. The computer monitor beeps. It is a call from HODGINS. He appears on a laptop and TV screen.)", "HODGINS: Booth. How many fingers am I holding up?", "CAROLINE: Yeah, brain damage joke. That's real funny.", "BOOTH: What've ya got?", "(Cut to HODGIN's office at the Jeffersonian.)", "HODGINS: What I've got are multiple degrees in botany, geology, and entomology, which allow me to discern vital clues like this one.", "(HODGINS puts up a graph on his computer screen.)", "(Cut to the conference room where CAROLINE and BOOTH are looking at the graph on their screen.)", "CAROLINE: What's that, a graph of Russian wheat production in 1955?", "(Cut to HODGIN's office)", "HODGINS: It's a microspectrophotometry scan indicating that the fabric we found with the remains...", "(Cut to a close up of the screen showing the fabric)", "HODGINS: (off screen) ...is lint free static resistant polyester.", "(Cut to the conference room)", "HODGINS: (off screen) It was designed for use in fire hazardous...", "(Cut to HODGIN's office)", "HODGINS: ...oxygen enriched atmospheres.", "(Cut to a close up of the screen. HODGINS puts up a picture of two men in blue jump suits.)", "HODGINS: US Navy refers to them as Poopy Suits.", "(Cut to the conference room)", "BOOTH: Right, you mean for submarine crews.", "HODGINS: (off screen) Yeah, exactly.", "(Cut to HODGIN's office)", "HODGINS: Now, my conclusion is we have uncovered the anonymous grave of the crew of the super secret stealth submarine", "(Cut to a close up of the screen, with a picture of a submarine.)", "HODGINS: Hawkfish, which disappeared in the late 90s.", "(Cut to the conference room)", "HODGINS: (off screen) Now, the US government denies the very existence of the submarine, yet I... (BOOTH shuts the laptop, cutting HODGINS off.)", "CAROLINE: The way it works Booth is that I'm impatient and curt, while you somehow keep the Squints motivated and productive.", "BOOTH: (as he takes out his ringing phone) Right, I'll keep that in mind, thanks.", "CAROLINE: Good.", "BOOTH: (answering the phone) Hiya Bones.", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian lab. The bone room. BRENNAN and BOOTH are looking at a skull with a hole in it.)", "BRENNAN: There's no sign of any violence on any of the skeletons we found except for this one.", "BOOTH: Could the victims have drowned?", "BRENNAN: No, drowning leaves diatoms in the marrow and Cam didn't find any, why?", "BOOTH: Hodgins said that it could've been a submarine crew.", "BRENNAN: Preliminary histological evidence shows that the victims were of both sexes encompassing Mongoloid, Negroid, and Caucasoid features and ranging in age from the late teens to the early 70s.", "BOOTH: That is a bullet hole.", "BRENNAN: Nope. (BRENNAN moves a microscope over the hole) Micro-fractures indicate that the projectile was moving much slower than any bullet. Also, (she puts her finger in the hole) I can't feel any beveling on the inside of the skull, but there's very slight beveling (she points to it) on the outside.", "BOOTH: He was killed from the inside out.", "(ANGELA enters.)", "ANGELA: Awkward. Awkward, awkward, very awkward.", "BRENNAN: Angela, what is awkward?", "(Cut to a work room in the Jeffersonian that contains the freestanding clear computer monitor. ANGELA enters, followed by BRENNAN and BOOTH)", "ANGELA: The casing on the minidisk that you found at the dig was cracked so there was damage. I did what I could but I got this one frame off the corrupted file.", "BOOTH: What's so awkward about that?", "ANGELA: This isn't the awkward part yet.", "(Close up on a sign on a car and a license plate. They are blurry until ANGELA makes them clear.)", "BOOTH: Glen Echo car rentals. And a license plate.", "ANGELA: I figure you have twelve bodies and this vehicle holds between twelve and fifteen, so--", "BRENNAN: Ang, you shouldn't feel awkward about this. You should be proud of your excellent work.", "ANGELA: Now comes the awkward part.", "(ANGELA runs her facial reconstruction.)", "BRENNAN: Oh. Why'd you make a picture of the psychic?", "ANGELA: This isn't Avalon. This is the facial reconstruction of the first fountain skull.", "(Cut to interrogation room at the FBI. BRENNAN is standing at the table, while BOOTH is leaning by the window, arms crossed. AVALON enters.)", "AVALON: Hello Seeley. Hello Temperance. Nice to see you two together.", "BRENNAN: This is an official visit.", "(AVALON sits at the table.)", "AVALON: Am I in trouble?", "(BRENNAN sits.)", "BOOTH: (walking to the table) We just uh need you to explain a few things, that's all. (He slides an envelope across the table to AVALON. He sits.)", "BRENNAN: We're still trying to identify the twelve victims under the fountain.", "BOOTH: You see, Dr. Brennan and her people were able to give one of them a face. We need you to take a look at it.", "(BRENNAN pulls out a picture from the envelope and lays it on the table.)", "AVALON: Oh no. This can't be.", "BRENNAN: It can't be what?", "AVALON: It's my sister.", "(Cut to an exterior aerial shot of the Royal Diner.)", "(Cut to an interior shot of the diner. BRENNAN and ANGELA are standing, getting coffee at the bar.)", "ANGELA: Avalon told me she had no family.", "BRENNAN: Obviously telling the truth her sister's been dead for ten years.", "ANGELA: Yeah it's just you'd think that was something that would show up in the cards.", "BRENNAN: Well, the future consists of the culmination of a near infinite number of variables. Turning over a card has no effect at all. (BRENNAN pays for her coffee and turns to leave.)", "ANGELA: (following BRENNAN) Well then how did the cards tell her where her sister was buried?", "BRENNAN: (opening the door and walking out) Well I'm certain that the knowledge of her sister's remains did not stem from pictures on a card.", "(As BRENNAN finishes, they both stand outside and BOOTH enters, carrying a stack of papers in a file folder.)", "BOOTH: So, you're going to have to work late tonight.", "ANGELA: \"Oh, hello Angela, you look so pretty today.\" Well thank you Booth, and hello to you too.", "BOOTH: Right.", "BRENNAN: Oh, she's being you and herself. I don't know why. What do you want Angela to work on?", "ANGELA: (reading off a paper in the file) Harbingers of a New Day.", "BOOTH: Right, Glen Echo car rentals uh it went out of business but we did find this guy who rented this van to the Harbinger group and get this, the group never brought it back.", "BRENNAN: Some kind of cult?", "BOOTH: Exactly. And you know what, (BOOTH closes the file and herds her towards the street as he talks) Angela is going to get to work on the Internet and find out all that information for us now.", "(ANGELA and BRENNAN start to walk away.)", "ANGELA: Yes, sir, on my way, you bet.", "BOOTH: Hey look, I'm sorry, Ang. You know, it's first case back, you know, it's been a long day. Maybe I got something to prove. I'm sorry, you look, you look beautiful.", "(ANGELA smiles, laughs, and kisses BOOTH on the forehead.)", "BRENNAN: Ah, would you like me to kiss you on the forehead too?", "BOOTH: Sure.", "(BOOTH closes his eyes and leans forward for a kiss. BRENNAN laughs and walks away with ANGELA. BOOTH checks BRENNAN out as she is walking away from him.)", "(Cut to the outside of the Jeffersonian.)", "(Cut to CAM, HODGINS, and ANGELA watching a video file on the clear monitor.)", "FARGOOD: (on the video) In order to clean society where we will no longer live amongst the poisons and pollutants of this modern... ANGELA: I managed to get a partial video file off the minidisk.", "ANGELA: This (points at a man in the video) is Tom Fargood. El supremo. He sold places in a secret undersea facility he called Harbinger.", "CAM: So these people are all nuts.", "HODGINS: Not at all, people pay a fortune to visit that giant underwater hotel in Aubudabi ANGELA: Yeah, Dubai. There's another one in Istanbul. Key West. Sweden.", "CAM: So where did Fargood locate his new Atlantis?", "ANGELA: A secret site. In French Polynesia.", "HODGINS: Buried under a fountain? That's a bit of a come down from Bora Bora.", "CAM: I count 14 people in this video.", "HODGINS: Dug out 12 from under the fountain.", "ANGELA: Look at this. (She pauses the video at a woman who looks like AVALON.)", "CAM: Is that Avalon?", "ANGELA: No, that's her sister.", "CAM: How do you know?", "ANGELA: Because... (she runs the video for a short time then pauses it again) that is Avalon.", "HODGINS: Wow. They look like they're pretty close.", "CAM: Her sister ended up in a mass grave that she led us too. I'm not sure that adds up to pretty close.", "(Cut to the conference room at the FBI. AVALON, BOOTH, SWEETS, and CAROLINE have been viewing the video file. All except SWEETS are sitting.)", "AVALON: It was my idea to join Harbingers. It cost every cent my sister Jenny and I had from my parents' insurance.", "BOOTH: Look, how much did Fargood get from you?", "AVALON: Almost a million dollars.", "SWEETS: What motivated you to join Harbinger?", "AVALON: My sister suffered from MCS.", "BRENNAN: Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.", "CAROLINE: Allergic to the whole world?", "AVALON: (looking at a certificate in front of her) Fargood put these gold seals on our diplomas whenever we passed part of his training. This day was how to use a spear gun to hunt fish.", "CAROLINE: Fascinating. I need to know how you knew where your sister's body got dumped.", "CAROLINE: I think you're hiding something. It rankles me. I'm rankled. I suppose this time you thought your sister was living in a yellow submarine.", "AVALON: The Harbingers facility, yeah.", "BOOTH: Well, why would she go and leave you behind?", "SWEETS: (sitting now) You did something that got you expelled, didn't you? What was it?", "AVALON: I went to an outside doctor for my headaches. It wasn't allowed.", "BOOTH: We're going to need a list of all these people's names.", "BRENNAN: And the name of the Harbinger doctor.", "AVALON: There never was any underwater facility was there? He just killed everybody for their money. My sister was killed for money.", "(Cut to the exterior of the Apex Free Family Clinic)", "(Cut to the interior. There are many patients. BOOTH and BRENNAN are waiting in the lobby.)", "LEACOCK: (coming over to greet them) I am Doctor Leacock. Ah, as you can see I'm a little pressed for time.", "BRENNAN: We're here about Tom Fargood and the Harbingers of a New Day.", "BOOTH: Yeah he knows 'em.", "LEACOCK: Would you like to come with me?", "BOOTH: Okay.", "LEACOCK: (walking to his office) Fargood wanted me to be the physician in his underwater utopia. I declined.", "BOOTH: Uh, why, because you thought it didn't exist?", "LEACOCK: No, I believed it existed but the idea-to spend the rest of my life underwater babysitting a bunch of people who were allergic to the 20th century? I'm more useful here.", "(LEACOCK leads them into his office.)", "BRENNAN: So, they all suffered from MCS?", "LEACOCK: Yeah, pesticides, power lines, incinerators, gas stations, fresh paint, even perfume made them sick. These people are canaries in a coal mine when it comes to blooms. I always thought they'd head down there, move into some renovated Russian submarine, and then come up and you know live happily in grass huts and a mowto. Was I wrong?", "BOOTH: Well, maybe you've heard of the twelve human skeletons that were found under the Taversham fountain.", "LEACOCK: Oh my god, are you serious?", "BRENNAN: If you still have their medical records it would be very helpful in positively identifying victims.", "LEACOCK: Of course. H-How did they... BOOTH: Dr. Brennan here is a forensic anthropologist. She's still trying to figure out the cause of death.", "BRENNAN: If they had MCS, it should show up fairly obviously in their bones.", "LEACOCK: Do you have a warrant?", "BRENNAN: Do we need one?", "LEACOCK: This is a state funded clinic. I-I have to abide by the l-letter of the law. I'm sorry, I... BOOTH: Right. We'll be back.", "LEACOCK: Hey, can I ask how you connected me to the group?", "BOOTH: Hey, we have our own rules.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the FBI building interior hallway. CAROLINE and BOOTH are walking.)", "CAROLINE: Dr. Leacock was right to require a warrant.", "BOOTH: Right, and I was right to tell him we have rules too, right?", "CAROLINE: Ugh, yeah. You know what, I'll have it for you in the morning. (camera pans away from her.)", "BOOTH: Great, that's all I needed to hear. Thanks Caroline, you're the best.", "(BOOTH walks into his dark office. He turns on the lights to find SWEETS sitting in front of a BOOTH's desk, playing with BOOTH's bobble head. SWEETS is holding a laptop.)", "BOOTH: Whoa, easy, don't touch the bobble head. Hey, Sweets, hi. I'm working. Everything's great, look at me, I'm fine, m-my brain's feeling good, so bye.", "SWEETS: Well I've been informed that your brain still thinks that it's in love with Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: Great, Cam ratted me out. (He takes a golf club and heads to the other side of the office.)", "SWEETS: No, I found out through Avalon. You told Cam?", "BOOTH: Oh, great, she finds your watch so now all of a sudden you believe everything that she says?", "(SWEETS stands up with the laptop while BOOTH is talking and walks toward him. BOOTH walks away behind the desk.)", "SWEETS: Ok, you just admitted that you told Cam you're in love with Dr. Brennan.", "(SWEETS opens the laptop on BOOTH's desk. It has a picture on it resembling an hourglass shape in various shades of blue and yellow.)", "SWEETS: Do you know what you're looking at?", "BOOTH: Yeah and I'm pretty sure you haven't been this close to one in a long time.", "SWEETS: It's a PET scan of your brain.", "BOOTH: Hmm, then I was wrong.", "SWEETS: (pushes a button on the laptop) This is called the ventral tegmental area. This is the dorsal caudate body. Now these two areas have been proven to be linked to romantic love and sexual arousal.", "BOOTH: Okay, if this is your version of dirty pictures, it's really not working for me right now. (closes the laptop)", "SWEETS: (opens the laptop) Now this uh, (shows a picture of a brain) this scan was taken before your operation. The green and blue colors indicate very low activity.", "SWEETS: (pushes a button) The same scan while you were in a coma. Just lit up like the 4th of July. You were dreaming of being in love, of being married, right?", "SWEETS: (pushes a button) Same scan. Three days ago. Before your operation, you were not in love. After your operation you were. Conclusion: your feelings are not real and will fade away like every other symptom of your coma. Now, I think you and I both know that Dr. Brennan's hyper-rationality is really just a cover for a very vulnerable and sensitive core.", "BOOTH: Ok, great so we're talking about Bones's brain too here.", "(SWEETS closes the laptop and picks it up to leave)", "SWEETS: So, if you breach those defenses and it turns out you don't really love her... I left you hard copies.", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian lab. Main room. Several skeletons are laid out on tables for examination. CAM and ANGELA enter.)", "CAM: Based on the Harbinger video, Avalon names, and Dr. Brennan's analysis, this is most likely Louis Lampcov.", "ANGELA: The man with the hole in his skull.", "CAM: The only victim we know for certain that died violently.", "ANGELA: My 3D imaging suggests (turns to bring up a computer image of the skull) that a shaft shot from a spear gun through the soft palate would've caused the wound.", "(HODGINS enters.)", "HODGINS: (walking briskly to another computer) I know how everybody else died. Not Mr. Hole-in-the-Skull, but the others.", "CAM: (looking at the image HODGINS as pulled up on the screen) That's the crystallized calcium oxalate you found in the soil.", "HODGINS: Right. Minute amounts in the soil layer beneath each and every body.", "ANGELA: Well is it poisonous?", "HODGINS: No, but it makes sense to ask ourselves what processes might result in crystalline calcium oxalate.", "CAM: Liver or kidneys.", "HODGINS: Kidney function would do that to plain old oxaline, which is derived from glycolate.", "CAM: Well, Glycolate's poisonous.", "HODGINS: (showing a diagram of chemical formulas on the screen) Glycolate is a conversion of glycolaldehyde via the aldehyde dehydrogenase in the liver.", "CAM: A poison that isn't a poison until it's metabolized?", "HODGINS: Ethylene glycol.", "ANGELA: That's antifreeze.", "HODGINS: Sweet to the taste. Easily disguised. Administered over time, which gives the kidneys time to crystallize the stuff. It's virtually untraceable.", "CAM: Well unless some brilliant bug and slime womp finds it in the soil HODGINS: And that, ladies, that is why they call me \"King of the Lab.\"", "ANGELA: Nobody does that but you.", "CAM: The early symptoms of ethylene glycol poisoning: fatigue, nausea, headache.", "HODGINS: Indistinguishable from MCS.", "CAM: Dr. Brennan's going to want to confer with that Harbinger doctor.", "(CAM exits.)", "HODGINS: Is that true about the king of the lab?", "ANGELA: That only you care? Yeah.", "(ANGELA exits. HODGINS ponders this for a moment, then smiles.", "(Cut to aerial shots of D.C. at night.)", "(Cut to the outside of apartment buildings. AVALON is sitting on the steps to one. BOOTH is standing talking to her.)", "AVALON: (sigh) I always thought that Jenny was alive and happy somewhere. Some psychic I am.", "BOOTH: Look, I don't know if you're psychic or not.", "AVALON: Then why would I send you to the fountain in the first place?", "BOOTH: (crosses arms) Remorse.", "(BOOTH sits next to AVALON on the stairs. He takes out papers from an envelope.)", "BOOTH: The neurosurgeons tell me right here that this part of my brain shows love. And this... (points to picture)", "AVALON: Hmm.", "BOOTH: What?", "AVALON: Let the neurosurgeons have your brain. They know about your brain. They don't know jack about your heart.", "AVALON: Here, (gets out tarot cards) cut the deck.", "BOOTH: (laughs) Come on, what is this?", "AVALON: Cut the cards.", "BOOTH: Alright, fine, I'll cut the deck.", "(BOOTH cuts the deck. AVALON turns over a card labeled \"The Devil.\")", "BOOTH: Oh.", "AVALON: She's in terrible danger. You gotta go to her now.", "BOOTH: Oh come on Avalon... AVALON: (at the same time) No, no.", "BOOTH: I-I'm still a cop, I know when someone's looking to escape here.", "AVALON: So chain me to the railing. Do what you gotta do. But you better go to her now, Agent Booth. Go to her now. Go to her right now. Go to her now. Now. Right now.", "BOOTH: Bones... AVALON: Go right now.", "(AVALON takes her briefcase and hails a cab. She gets into it.)", "(Cut to the interior of the Apex Free Family Clinic. BRENNAN opens the door. The office is empty.)", "BRENNAN: Hello?", "(BRENNAN takes a step into the office.)", "BRENNAN: Dr. Leacock, it's Dr. Brennan with the FBI.", "LEACOCK: (off screen) Dr. Brennan, come back to my office. Lock that door behind you please, (BRENNAN locks it) this isn't the best neighborhood.", "BRENNAN: (walking towards LEACOCK's office) There's been an interesting development in the Harbinger case.", "LEACOCK: (off screen) Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Well it appears that the victims were poisoned. But is there any chance that what appeared to you to be MCS was actually the result...", "(BRENNAN walks into LEACOCK's empty office. She sees several files with victim names on them. The one on the top reads Lampcov, Louis.)", "BRENNAN: You're studying the Harbinger files.", "(LEACOCK enters the office, holding a knife. BRENNAN turns just in time and throws a lamp at him and he falls to the ground. She runs out of the office into the hallway, trying to escape, but LEACOCK grabs at her legs and trips her. They both get up and start running down the hall, BRENNAN grabbing a rolling cart and pushing it into the hallway to obstruct him on her way. She reaches the locked door, but LEACOCK also reaches her and they scuffle at the door. BRENNAN picks up a metal tray from the front desk and hits him with it, but LEACOCK parries and stashes her in the arm with his knife. LEACOCK comes at her again but BRENNAN parries, knocking him over. LEACOCK quickly recovers and tries to stab her again, and BRENNAN defends her body with her right arm. BOOTH enters, breaking the door and immediately shooting LEACOCK in the chest. BRENNAN is sitting down against the front desk, her arm bloody and the knife still in it. BOOTH takes her arm and crouches beside her.)", "BOOTH: (holding her arm in both hands now) Bones, you all right? You ok?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, I'm all right, I'm okay.", "BOOTH: Bones, your arm. Look.", "BRENNAN: Oh god.", "BOOTH: No, don't pull it out. Don't touch that! (BRENNAN pulls it out of her arm) Bones... Easy, I gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. It's gonna be all right, alright? Alright.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: (rests his chin on her head) Easy. Ambulance is on the way, ok?", "BRENNAN: Ok. Keep the pressure on it.", "BOOTH: Ok, I got it. I got it. Just relax. Just trust me, alright? I'll take care of you. Shhh. I've got you. Breathe. I'll take care of you. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I got you. (BOOTH kisses BRENNAN's head) I've got you, baby.", "(cut to BOOTH's office. BOOTH is sitting at his desk, playing with his cell phone. His shirt is covered with BRENNAN's blood. CAROLINE enters and crosses to behind BOOTH's desk.)", "CAROLINE: That's a lot of blood.", "BOOTH: I'm fine. This is Bones's blood.", "CAROLINE: That supposed to be good?", "BOOTH: She's fine. They fixed her up and uh, she's in her home. I should've been there for her.", "CAROLINE: You were there! You killed the bad guy dead. I know you hate that but it always makes me a little glad. Does that make me a bad person?", "(BOOTH gives a noncommittal sigh and a half smile.)", "CAROLINE: I guess that closes the case.", "(BOOTH stands up.)", "CAROLINE: Uh-oh.", "BOOTH: (pacing the left side of the office) None of the remains have been identified as Fargood.", "CAROLINE: You think the bad doctor was working for Fargood.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Used to be that my hunches were good enough to keep us working a case. (BOOTH sits.)", "CAROLINE: (walking to the door) Sheery they still are. That means our little psychic friend is still a suspect. And change your shirt.", "(CAROLINE exits. BOOTH looks after her then down.)", "(Cut to BRENNAN opening a door to AVALON's office.)", "BRENNAN: (in the doorway) Hello? Miss Harmonia?", "AVALON: (off screen) Down here.", "(BRENNAN walks cautiously down a hallway. AVALON is sitting in the next room at a kitchen table, with 10 tarot cards out in front of her.)", "AVALON: Dr. Brennan. How are you feeling?", "BRENNAN: Well they gave me medication so I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel all the time. I came here to see if you'd run away.", "AVALON: No, I'm here looking for clues. Something I might've missed.", "BRENNAN: (sitting down at the table) What, in your cards? Because that is a waste of time.", "AVALON: You say that after I sent Agent Booth to save your life.", "BRENNAN: Well, you knew where the bodies were buried. You knew Dr. Leacock would attack me.", "(AVALON turns over a tarot card from her deck. It is a wanderer in a field.)", "AVALON: You are an abandoned child.", "(AVALON turns over another card entitled \"The Hanged Man.\")", "AVALON: The world scares you, so you wrap it up neatly in bonds of reason, education, and proof. All riddles are solvable to you except for one.", "BRENNAN: Yes, the riddle of how you knew where your sister was buried.", "AVALON: No. The riddle you can't solve is how somebody could love you.", "BRENNAN: (laughs) Well, I'm beautiful and very intelligent.", "AVALON: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is, (AVALON draws a card) yes, (she puts down a card entitled \"The Sun\") he knows the truth of you, yet he is dazzled by that truth.", "(Cut to ANGELA's lab, a close up of the clear monitor.)", "ANGELA: I'm pulling up websites containing the words Harbinger, utopia, undersea, and MCS and running them through my facial recognition program.", "SWEETS: Hmm. Fargood's arrogant. He'll think he's changed his modus operandi but it'll only be superficially.", "ANGELA: What, so you think these keywords won't work?", "SWEETS: No, not specifically.", "ANGELA: By the time we finish a more general search, you'll actually have to shave.", "SWEETS: Ok, why is facial hair the marker of an adult male? Why not height? I'm tall.", "(ANGELA gives him a look.)", "SWEETS: Right, keywords. Uh, well, Fargood targeted a group of people who were sick of the world. Literally. And promised them a new life, right? A life without suffering.", "ANGELA: Sick of the world, of course! You know who you're referring to.", "SWEETS: Yeah, people who are in pain. Who've lost hope. Or sunk in existentialist despair.", "ANGELA: That's not literal enough Sweets. (sits down at a computer) You're talking about old people who've nobody else to turn to.", "SWEETS: Huh.", "(Cut to an FBI interrogation room. BRENNAN, sitting, is holding the photo result of ANGELA's search. FARGOOD is sitting opposite to her.)", "BRENNAN: Angela's right. The bone structure is a very close match.", "(The camera pans to reveal BOOTH sitting on the table next to BRENNAN.)", "BOOTH: See, we're trying to figure out exactly when you changed your name (takes the picture from BRENNAN) from Tom Fargood to Alexander Galow.", "FARGOOD: I have no idea what you're talking about.", "BRENNAN: You're selling shares in a very exclusive retirement community.", "FARGOOD: Very sound investment in your future. I recommend you buy.", "BOOTH: Well, we won't be doing that anytime soon Mr. Galow (sits down in the chair) because a significant number of people who put down their non-refundable deposits, they died before they moved in.", "BRENNAN: Probably from methylene glycol poisoning.", "FARGOOD: I want a lawyer. And I won't be drinking anything from that glass. You want my DNA? Get a warrant.", "BRENNAN: Well, there's no point in getting your DNA. We have nothing to compare it to.", "(BOOTH shoots a look at BRENNAN and then the door.)", "BOOTH: Excuse us.", "(BREANNA and BOOTH stand to leave. BOOTH drains the glass of water.)", "(Cut to CAROLINE, who was watching their interrogation through the 2-way mirror. BRENNAN and BOOTH enter.)", "CAROLINE: Alexander Galow's identity is bullet proof.", "BRENNAN: I'm certain that's Fargood.", "BOOTH: (off screen) See, she's certain, that is good enough for me. (comes on screen) We gotta keep this guy in custody or he's gonna run.", "CAROLINE: Good enough for you is not good enough for a judge.", "BRENNAN: That man poisoned 11 people and used a spear gun to kill a 12th.", "BOOTH: Look, we gotta find a way to hold him.", "CAROLINE: Don't arrest him until shift change.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "CAROLINE: We'll lose him in the system.", "BOOTH: FBI stall tactics, Bones. Thank you. (He pats CAROLINE on the back.)", "CAROLINE: (crossing to the door) Do not thank me. He'll be out of here in 24 hours. And even if you prove that Galow and Fargood are the same man I don't see a shred of evidence that he killed those 12 people.", "(CAROLINE exits. BOOTH looks at BRENNAN, who shakes her head. The camera pans to FARGOOD through the 2-way mirror, who smiles and waves as if he sees them watching him.)", "(Cut to the exterior of the FBI building. Day.)", "(Cut to a briefing hall in the FBI. Interior. Day. BOOTH is on the stage giving a briefing to FBI agents.)", "BOOTH: (pacing) I need proof that before he was Galow our bad guy was Fargood so, I need the van.", "(The screen behind BOOTH projects a picture of the van. BOOTH holds up a picture of it as well. Agents pass back folders of information.)", "FBI AGENT: What are the chances of finding a van stolen 10 years ago?", "BOOTH: And I need this. (The screen and picture BOOTH holds up have changed to a picture of the spear gun.)", "FBI AGENT: You want us to find a 10-year-old stolen van and a spear gun all in the next... BOOTH: 12 hours. Tops.", "BOOTH: (claps) Go. Perform miracles.", "(The agents get up to leave. BOOTH walks off the stage to where BRENNAN is waiting along the wall of the room.)", "BOOTH: This time we need miracles, they gotta help or we can't prove that Galow and Fargood are the same person. What is that?", "(BRENNAN holds up an evidence bag with a certificate in it.)", "BRENNAN: Avalon's Harbinger's certificate. (They start walking.) Remember, she said that Fargood applied the seals himself. The saliva on the seal is how we get Fargood's DNA with. How do we get Galow's?", "BOOTH: Human nature. Human nature Bones.", "(Cut to interior of the FBI. BOOTH, BRENNAN, and AVALON exit an elevator. The start to walk through the hall.)", "AVALON: You found Tom Fargood?", "BRENNAN: Well, that's what we need you to tell us.", "BOOTH: Only if you're up for it.", "AVALON: Well why wouldn't I be?", "BRENNAN: Well, because all these years you thought your sister left you without saying goodbye.", "(They stop in the doorway to a larger waiting room.)", "BOOTH: Really, this man murdered Jenny.", "BRENNAN: And then buried her in a mass unmarked grave.", "AVALON: Why are you trying to make this harder for me?", "BRENNAN: Is that Tom Fargood?", "(The camera pans to FARGOOD, who is sitting cuffed with his hands behind him. AVALON walks to him and sits down next to him. BOOTH and BRENNAN have followed AVALON into the room.)", "BOOTH: This the man who murdered your little sister?", "(FARGOOD and AVALON stare at each other. FARGOOD lets out a sigh, and suddenly AVALON attacks him, scratching him on the neck and drawing blood. BOOTH pulls AVALON off FARGOOD and holds her while BRENNAN bags AVALON's right hand.)", "AVALON: You killed my sister! You killed my little sister! You did that stuff to...", "(Cut to the Jeffersonian lab, where CAROLINE, CAM, BOOTH, and BRENNAN are watching video surveillance of what just took place.)", "CAROLINE: That is sneaky.", "BRENNAN: Is sneaky good or bad?", "CAROLINE: Good, if it holds up in court.", "CAM: Next time, make it look more like you're taking advantage of a situation not scripting it.", "CAROLINE: Don't keep me hanging people, are Alexander Galow and Tom Fargood the same person?", "CAM: Yep. Perfect match.", "BRENNAN: Well, your facial expression suggests that you are dissatisfied.", "CAROLINE: You proved that Galow is Fargood, fine, but now you gotta prove that Fargood killed those people and dumped them under that fountain.", "BOOTH: Let's charge him with murder. Give us time to find the spear gun and the van.", "CAROLINE: Sheery, what are the chances of that happening?", "CAM: A million to one.", "BRENNAN: Oh, we don't have all the variables, so...you were not being precise you're simply illustrating the difficultly.", "CAROLINE: Everything maybe always adds up in the lab, but in real life sometimes you lose one.", "(CAROLINE exits.)", "BRENNAN: Well, what should we do? Kill 'im?", "(BOOTH gives BRENNAN a stony look. The camera pans to CAROLINE.)", "CAROLINE: Still in earshot Sheery. Still in earshot.", "(CAM gives BRENNAN a look. BRENNAN looks put out.)", "(Cut to an exterior street shot. Night. A cab drives by. A clown is packing up his van. The camera pans to BRENNAN and BOOTH, walking.)", "BRENNAN: Fargood is going to get away with mass murder.", "BOOTH: You know, I don't wanna talk about work.", "BRENNAN: Well what do you want to talk about?", "(BOOTH stops at the street corner. BRENNAN gives him a concerned look.)", "BRENNAN: You all right?", "(pause)", "BOOTH: Not really. I just, I have something that I wanna say to you from inside my heart.", "BRENNAN: Oh, blood is in your heart. (They cross the street and keep walking.) The idea that the heart is the seat of love and strength of character is ancient, but metaphoric. I mean, in reality these qualities are based in the amygdala, which is part of the brain.", "BOOTH: No, I mean, ever since I've woke up from my coma I've been wanting to say something (he stops BRENNAN with one arm) to you, about you.", "BRENNAN: Well why didn't you say something earlier?", "BOOTH: 'Cuz I just, I just wanted to finish this case. You know, to make sure that I'm back, that, that you know I'm me again.", "BRENNAN: Well does the fact that we didn't close the case give you doubts?", "(BRENNAN turns from him and starts walking again. BOOTH follows.)", "BOOTH: No, we did the best that we can. Hold on, (he runs in front of her and stops her from walking) you don't, you don't think that I'm fully back?", "BRENNAN: No, I know you're fully back.", "BOOTH: You do?", "BRENNAN: Well, you're wearing your socks.", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah.", "(The camera pans to BOOTH's socks, which are now visible as BOOTH has pulled up his suit pants to show them off. A briefcase lands in front of BOOTH's socks. It is the clown.)", "BRENNAN: Oh no. (The clown sprays BOOTH in the face with water from a plastic flower.) Oh no, (BOOTH is doubled over, covering his eyes) he hates-oh, Booth, do not kill the clown. (She holds up an arm to stop BOOTH as he straightens up.) Oh...", "(BOOTH squeezes the clown's plastic nose and laughs. BRENNAN stares at him.)", "BOOTH: (still laughing) Come here. (He squeezes the nose again and laughs.)", "(The clown packs up the last of his van and turns to leave. BRENNAN keeps staring and BOOTH keeps laughing.)", "BRENNAN: Booth, you hate clowns. You do not think they're funny. (They start walking again.)", "BOOTH: Right, oh, before my coma I shot a clown (stops walking) off an ice cream truck.", "BRENNAN: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Well I'm sure in a few weeks you'll hate clowns again. Be back to normal.", "BOOTH: Yeah, a few weeks.", "(BOOTH turns to walk again. BRENNAN stops him.)", "BRENNAN: What did you want to tell me?", "(pause)", "BOOTH: That I love you.", "(BRENNAN stares at BOOTH.)", "BOOTH: In a professional you know (hits her arm) atta-girl kinda way.", "BRENNAN: Atta-girl kinda way?", "(BOOTH looks at BRENNAN then away.)", "BRENNAN: Right back at ya Booth. I love you too! (She punches him in the shoulder.) Atta-boy.", "(BOOTH punches her back and smiles. BRENNAN smiles back. The camera shifts to CAROLINE behind them in her car.)", "CAROLINE: You two got a moment?", "(Cut to the exterior of CAROLINE's car traveling down a street.)", "BOOTH: (voice over) Ok, what's going on?", "(Cut to the interior of CAROLINE's car. CAROLINE is driving BOOTH and BRENNAN. BOOTH is in the back seat.)", "CAROLINE: I thought I'd give you the honor of arresting Mr. Fargood, Alexander Galow, whatever you want to call him, hell arrest both of you.", "BRENNAN: Well, you said we didn't have enough evidence.", "CAROLINE: For murder. You didn't have enough to charge him with murder but murder isn't the only crime in the world though it seems that way with us.", "BOOTH: (reading a file CAROLINE has given him) Grand theft auto regarding the rental vehicle?", "BRENNAN: (reading another file) Fraud by wire?", "CAROLINE: That man sold people a luxury hotel under the sea, if he can't show it to us, then he defrauded them.", "BOOTH: Illegal wearing of the uniform?", "CAROLINE: Those Poopy Suits were Navy issue. These are just the federal crimes mind you I've got the district attorney coming up with his own list.", "BRENNAN: What does this add up to?", "CAROLINE: About a hundred years, give or take.", "BRENNAN: He should be convicted of murder.", "CAROLINE: Luckily you two have me to pick up the slack when you fall short.", "BRENNAN: Ha! That's right, you should kiss me. What's wrong with you, Seeley Booth?", "(Cut to exterior shot of CAROLINE's car.)", "(Cut to the interior of the FBI. FARGOOD is being cuffed by BOOTH.)", "FARGOOD: On what charge?", "BOOTH: Oh, a whole bunch of them. Let's go.", "(Cut to BRENNAN and AVALON, who are watching the scene outside of BOOTH's office.)", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry we couldn't get him for killing your sister.", "AVALON: Sometimes you gotta just settle for the second best situation.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry too for how we manipulated you into scratching his face.", "AVALON: It was rational.", "BRENNAN: Yes, and yet irrationally I still feel back about it.", "AVALON: The cards say only your top layer is rational. Underneath you're as crazy as I am. And that's a complement.", "BRENNAN: Doesn't sound like one.", "(BOOTH enters.)", "BOOTH: This is usually when we go and drink.", "AVALON: You two are going to keep doing things as usual.", "BOOTH: Sometimes you gotta settle for second best.", "(AVALON gives the two of them a look. BRENNAN looks a bit confused.)", "AVALON: By the way, my cards tell me this all works out eventually.", "(AVALON exits.)", "BOOTH: Oh. (in disbelief) Really?", "BRENNAN: What all works out eventually?", "(BOOTH just stares at her.)", "BRENNAN: What?", "(BOOTH walks into his office.)", "BRENNAN: (following him) What all works out eventually?", "END." ]

[ "Brennan and Booth investigate the body of a man murdered for the undisclosed contents of a briefcase. Early evidence leads the team to suspect secret operatives are at work, and their theories are supported when the liquefied remains of a CIA agent are discovered in the trunk of a car. When Brennan and Booth interrogate the CIA's Assistant Director of Intelligence, they are left unsure of his allegiance to the U.S. Meanwhile, Brennan's best-selling book leads to financial success and serves as a point of contention with Booth, and Jeffersonian intern Wendell loses his scholarship, leaving the team to look for alternative funding to keep him around." ]

[ "\"The Bond in the Boot\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(A man waits on the roof of an airport parking structure at night, a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. An assailant attacks the man, shooting twice. He cuts off his victim's hand and runs off with the briefcase. Shots ring out as his car peels away, running over the body)", "ACT ONE", "(Cut to daylight at the crime scene where a cat is seen eating off the victim's remains. Booth and Brennan exits FBI vehicle.)", "BOOTH: (in disbelief) A Rolex? They just gave you a Rolex?", "BRENNAN: But my book is No.1 on the bestsellers list for 12 weeks and sold 630,000 copies. They're, you know, showing their appreciation.", "BOOTH: Wow. So that means if you made-", "BRENNAN: I don't really know how much actually, but (Booth's phone starts to ring) I was told I would never have to work again.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) Wow. (answers his phone) Booth. What?! No! Slow down pal, that is extortion. What? No, no! Forget it. No. No way I'm paying that. Bye. (shuts his phone) Some plumber, he wants to charge me 800 bucks to fix the plumbing in my walls! Forget it I'll do it myself.", "BRENNAN: Well, that should be no problem. You've told me numerous times how skillful you are as a repairman.", "BOOTH: Well, great. Ever since after the coma, I've seen to forgotten a few things. So I'm gonna have to figure out how to do it myself all over again.", "BRENNAN: I could lend you some money.", "BOOTH: It's okay, Miss Rolex. I'll be fine.", "BRENNAN: Well, if you change your mind..", "(Purring of cats can be heard in the background)", "BOOTH: This is exactly why I hate cats. Right there.", "(A litter of cats can be seen eating off the victim's remains)", "BRENNAN: Well, they're feral. They're natural scavengers. Hodgins is going to have to sift through the excrements for evidence.", "BOOTH: Right. Don't want to take his fun away from him, huh?", "BRENNAN: (yells out) I need all these cats brought back to the Jeffersonian! (attempts to shoo cats away) Shoo! Shoo!", "BOOTH: Puss! Puss! Here kitty kitty!", "BRENNAN: (motions to cat on victim's head) Hey, hey! Get outta there! (a hand is seen removing the cat away) The victim is an adult male. Caucasian. Bullet went just above the sternum and the third left rib. Hand is severed just below the radius.", "BOOTH: Barely anything left of this guy. How long has he been out here?", "BRENNAN: From the degree of scavenging, I'd say 2 days.", "BOOTH: Hey you! (shows a guy in a maroon jacket who's talking to the police, he turns to look as Booth approaches him) Parking guy. You're the guy who found him?", "PARKING LOT ATTENDANT: Yeah.", "BOOTH: My partner here says that he has been kitty kibble for 2 days. Why didn't you notice him sooner?", "PARKING LOT ATTENDANT: This structure is long term parking. We really don't use it much, and people don't like their cars baking in the sun.", "BOOTH: Is there any security cameras around here?", "PARKING LOT ATTENDANT: Somebody cut the feed.", "BRENNAN: Booth!", "BOOTH: (observing the marks on the speed bump) Yeah?", "BRENNAN: He suffered comminuted fractures to the femur.", "BOOTH: Right, he broke his leg. I get it. Somebody ran over him after he was shot. (To forensic team) Hey you. Do me a favor and pull some paint samples off that speed bump, okay?", "(Three cats are seen watching them and purring)", "BOOTH: Why are the cats staring at us?", "(Brennan stares at Booth and doesn't answer him; as the cats continue to look on)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Cam & Wendell are at the platform examining the remains)", "CAM: Michelle's been asking for months if we could get a kitten. I'm thinking 'no'.", "WENDELL: Actually, it's much more likely that a family dog would attack and consume its owner.", "CAM: Can you pass me the forceps? I think I see something. (picks up fibre using forceps & placed under the magnifier) It appears to be steel wool I found at the exit wound.", "WENDELL: Steel wool. Commonly use in silencers to muffle the sound of the gunshot.", "CAM: Our results definitely points to a professional hit.", "WENDELL: An Ilizarov apparatus was used to lengthen his bone when he was a child, so he's definitely Russian.", "CAM: Don't people limp in every country?", "WENDELL: Part in 1981, the Ilizarov apparatus was used exclusively in Soviet Union, ergo, dead Russian.", "CAM: (impressed) Very good, Mr. Bray.", "WENDELL: Yeah, I don't often get to say 'ergo'.", "CAM: And for bonus points, any clue why his hand was chopped off?", "WENDELL: The bone has been chipped and bruised around the triquetral- (Hodgins is seen swapping his ID and entering the platform) Like someone was trying to pull something off his wrist.", "CAM: And when they couldn't, they cut off his hand.", "HODGINS: Wendell, my man. Are we still up for lunch?", "CAM: (looks at the tray Hodgins is carrying) You are discussing lunch while holding a tray of cat excrements.", "HODGINS: Everybody poops. They even wrote a book about it. I found a piece of plastic in the cat's faeces from a bag or airline peanuts.", "WENDELL: (uses forceps to pick up plastic & reads label) Aeroflot.", "HODGINS: Yup. Preferred airline of Mother Russia.", "CAM: Looks like our Russian friend was a recent arrival.", "(Cut to: FBI Building, Booth's office. Booth is holding a file with the victim's face on it & speaking to Harold Prescott, a State Department Official)", "BOOTH: Yuri Antonov. He's a courier for a Ukrainian diamond manufacturer. That's it? Why are you State Department guys all over this?", "PRESCOTT: Because that's not..it.", "BOOTH: (annoyed) Then what is it? What else do you have for me?", "PRESCOTT: I was told to assess whether you'll be the best agent, with him to entrust some sensitive information.", "BOOTH: This is my case.", "PRESCOTT: (stuttering) The State is supervising, Agent Booth. We...(pauses for a moment; Booth awating for him to speak again) I, approve the investigator.", "BOOTH: Oh, you. I- Okay, ex Army Ranger with multiple commendations and a pristine record at the FBI isn't good enough for you or them?", "PRESCOTT: You shot a clown.", "BOOTH: It's a mechanical clown. (smugs) Hmm. You tell me you never wanted to do that?", "PRESCOTT: (hesitates; then speaks) This one has to be done with digression. And it's not just your career, it's mine too. I mean, you're old, but I'm still- (Booth taking offence to that; slowly stands up. Prescott hands over the file to Booth)", "BOOTH: Right. Sit down. (Prescott sits down quickly; followed by Booth too)", "PRESCOTT: Antonov went missing after arriving 3 days ago from Dallas International. (Booth goes through the file photos) These photos were taken as he passed through the diplomatic checkpoint.", "BOOTH: Well, that doesn't make any sense. Why would a diamond courier have diplomatic clearance?", "PRESCOTT: That's why this is so sensitive. State didn't authorize his diplomatic visa.", "BOOTH: What about the briefcase? It wasn't found on the body. You sure we're dealing with diamonds here?", "PRESCOTT: We're not sure of anything. But we have to assume the worst. That's why this is being treated as a national security threat.", "(Opening credits played)", "ACT TWO", "(Cut to: J. Edgar Hoover FBI Buliding. Booth meets with Lena Brodsky, the Ukrainian woman in charge of the diamond firm)", "LENA: What about the diamonds? Have they been recovered?", "BOOTH: Alright. Well, what he did to Antonov's hand was severed, in order to steal the briefcase.", "LENA: Of course. He was getting 2 million dollars worth of gems from our mine in Siberia.", "BOOTH: How did your courier manage to get cleared to pass through the diplomatic checkpoint?", "LENA: Diplomatic? No. You must be mistaken.", "BOOTH: Mistaken? Nah, look at that. (opens up the case file & shows the photographs of Antonov at the checkpoint to Lena) See, here is him on the approach. (holds up a photo) And this is him clearing the diplomatic checkpoint. (holds another photo) Briefcase.", "LENA: I don't understand. As you can see, all the paperwork wass in order and there should've been no complications at the customs. We have couriers bringing in stones all the time.", "BOOTH: You work with Antonov a lot?", "LENA: This is was the first time.", "BOOTH: Well, we're gonna need all your import and export information from the company and any other information you might have on Mr Antonov.", "LENA: Of course. Um. Every courier is thoroughly checked out. Their psychological profiles, recommendations from past employers. You can have it all.", "BOOTH: Right. Any reason Antonov, um, wouldn't want the customs to see the diamonds?", "LENA: No. Unless he wasn't carrying diamonds.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab, Angela's office. Angela is explaining to Hodgins)", "ANGELA: I loaded the victim's x-ray into the simulation. Now looking at the fracture lines, the computer should be able to determine the weight of the car that ran him over. (Simulation shows the car running over the victim's body)", "HODGINS: Ooh, ouch.", "ANGELA: According to this, the car would've weighed approximately 3700 pounds, which gives us, 152 possible vehicles.", "HODGINS: Paint from the speed bump is called Tungsten Silver. Ooh. Trade name; Casino Royale. That would narrow things down a bit.", "(Cam walks into Angela's office)", "CAM: Hey. Have you two seen Dr. Brennan?", "ANGELA: I think she's with Booth. Why?", "CAM: It appears Mr. Bray has lost his scholarship. No scholarship means no internship in the Jeffersonian.", "(Angela and Hodgins looks shocked)", "ANGELA: What?! How did that happen?", "CAM: Apparently, the trust that fund his scholarship ran out of financing because of the economic mass.", "ANGELA: Oh, that stinks. I like Wendell.", "HODGINS: Yeah, we got drunk together last week. It carries great meaning for men.", "CAM: He's one of us. Even Booth likes him.", "ANGELA: Well, how did he react?", "CAM: I haven't told him yet. I wanna see if there are other funding options.", "(Computer beeps showing car model; Wendell walks into the room)", "WENDELL: What's that?", "(Cam, Angela & Hodgins simultaneously greets him)", "CAM & ANGELA: Hey!", "HODGINS: Dude! What's new?", "WENDELL: (surprised) Um, since you saw me on the forensic platform 5 minutes ago, not much.", "CAM: Great.", "WENDELL: (To Hodgins) You?", "HODGINS: Nothing.", "CAM: Nothing from here.", "ANGELA: Zipo. On my end.", "WENDELL: (still unsure of everyone's strange behavior) Oh, it appears you have a match for the car that ran over our victim. That's new, isn't it?", "ANGELA: Yess. I do. Yes. You are something, Wendell. You really are.", "HODGINS: (stares at computer screen) Un-believable.", "WENDELL: That's crazy! Casino Royale and that car?!", "HODGINS: (amazed with findings) That's Bond's car! (in deep voice) James Bond.", "WENDELL: Those wheels and the silencer. You haven't by any chance found any evidence of (in a British accent) a martini? Shaken; not stirred of course.", "(Hodgins & Wendell continues to exchange words in Bond-like; with Cam interrupting them)", "CAM: You believe James Bond killed our Russian?", "HODGINS: Well, no. But cmon, there's more than a grain of truth in those Bond films.", "ANGELA: Pussy Galore? That's never going to happen.", "WENDELL: Yeah, we can always hope.", "ANGELA: Boys and their spy fantasies.", "CAM: I'll tell Booth to put out a search on the car (turns around and leaves)", "HODGINS: Trust me, Angela. Nothing is as it seems.", "WENDELL: Yeah, I know. I thought you guys were a little too psyched to see me when I came in here.", "ANGELA: We can't be excited to see you, Wendell?", "HODGINS: Yeah, I think you have some intimacy issues there, man. (walks away)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth & Brennan are asking Sweets to profile Antonov)", "BOOTH: So Sweets, you've done the profile yet? Is Antonov a spy?", "SWEETS: Nope. Still putting the pieces together.", "BRENNAN: Well, whatever he says is a guess.", "SWEETS: No. It's a subjective evaluation based on quantifier psychological markers, okay? Do we have to go through this every time?", "BRENNAN: He may as well be telling stories around a campfire. (Booth chuckles in agreement with Brennan)", "SWEETS: Okay. All of Antonov's answers from his psych evaluation- are too perfect. No one is this perfect. Now that, coupled with that fact that he had unexplained diplomatic cover and was killed by a professional would leave any reasonable person to conclude that-", "BOOTH: He's a spy. (Booth's phone starts ringing; Brennan shoots a glare at Booth showing disapproval of his statement)", "SWEETS: Spy-ish.", "BOOTH: (answers his phone) Booth. Oh. Great! I'll pick it up this afternoon. Whoa whoa whoa now. It's not (pauses and whispers into the phone) pilates for dummies. (Brennan & Sweets turns to look at Booth) It's plumbing for dummies. Alright? Get back to me. Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Why won't you let me help you, Booth?", "BOOTH: I just want to fix the leak in my wall, that's all. I'm very capable of doing it myself.", "SWEETS: With a dummies book? (Booth lets out a huff) Is that wise?", "BRENNAN: Since the coma, Booth can't remember how to take care of his own plumbing.", "BOOTH: That's great. Now you're making it sound like I gotta wear diapers.", "BRENNAN: (to Sweets) I offered to lend him money for professional plumber. I just received a very large cheque from my publisher.", "SWEETS: Ahh.", "BOOTH: (imitating Sweets) Ahh! Here goes the 'Ahh'. (to Brennan) You had to bring this up. Great. Thanks.", "SWEETS: Well, very large disparity in income can have a very detrimental effect on relationship.", "BOOTH: No! It doesn't. I just get more satisfaction by relearning an old skill. Instead of paying a plumber, 800 dollars.", "SWEETS: (pauses) Okay. (continues to eat)", "BOOTH: Yeah! (to Sweets) Wait, what's that supposed to mean? (Booth's phone rings again)", "SWEETS: Nothing. I accept what you're saying.", "BOOTH: (answers phone) Booth. Okay. Great. We're on our way. (shuts phone)", "BRENNAN: About the book?", "BOOTH: Found the killer's vehicle. I, will pull the car around. You, can buy us breakfast, okay Miss Rolex? (leaves the diner)", "SWEETS: (moves to Booth's seat & talks to Brennan) You want my advice?", "BRENNAN: No.", "SWEETS: Okay. If you really want to help Booth, you should let him teach you about plumbing.", "BRENNAN: I'm a wealthy accomplished woman. Why would I want to learn a menial skill?", "SWEETS: For Booth. So he can regain whatever he feels he lost. I think, for once, it'll be beneficial if you were the student.", "(Brennan shoots Sweets a look; not understanding his reasoning)", "(Cut to: An alley. Booth & Brennan meets up with Officer Lisa Kopek who briefs them about the vehicle found)", "OFFICER LISA: Car's registered to a high class rental car service. Leased using a corporate credit card, universal exports. We're tracking him down now.", "BOOTH: (upon seeing the vehicle) Whoa oh! It is Bond's car, Bones! (whistles in amazement)", "BRENNAN: (approaches the car; examining it) Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: I see superficial lesions on the lateral anterior surface.", "BOOTH: No no, Bones. What you see there is scratch marks on the front bumper, okay? People have skeletons. Cars; they have chair seats, gas tank, stomach, and here (points at car window) The shattered window proves that there was gunfire.", "OFFICER LISA: The ballistics guy dug out the bullet out of the dash. Said it was at least fired from 500 feet away.", "BOOTH: Someone was taking him out, huh?", "BRENNAN: (at the back of the car) Booth!", "BOOTH: Yup?", "BRENNAN: (looks at tiny puddle below the car boot) I think the car's bleeding.", "BOOTH: No no no, Bones. Car has oil. That's oil.", "BRENNAN: No. (swabs the puddle with her finger) This is blood.", "BOOTH: (looks closer) It is blood. (motions for someone & an officer brings a crowbar) Thank you. (breaks open the boot using the crowbar & finds another human corpse) Whoa! Okay. That is going to kill the blue book value.", "BRENNAN: Body is 3-4 days old. The heat in the trunk is causing the skin to liquify.", "BOOTH: So, cause of death?", "BRENNAN: There's too much flesh. This is Cam's department. (digs for something in the boot) Look at this. (a gun is seen)", "BOOTH: (carries up the gun) That. Is a Walter PPK. It's Bond's gun.", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: I hate to admit this, but Sweets is right. (reaches out for the victim's ID & picks it up to show Booth) The victim was CIA.", "ACT THREE", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab. Brennan & Cam are examining the second corpse on the platform along with Angela & Hodgins)", "BRENNAN: It is unfortunate that Mr Bray is losing his scholarship. He's one of our best interns and is quite deserving of financial assistance.", "CAM: No gunshot wounds.", "BRENNAN: There seems to be damage at the spine. The cartilage from L1 to L5 is torn.", "ANGELA: (to Brennan) Hey, have you ever thought of starting a scholarship? You have a lot of money now.", "BRENNAN: I support many different organizations that provide food, housing and medical care for people in need. Should I withhold funds from them?", "ANGELA: No! No. But it's Wendell. He grew up with nothing. He worked his whole life for this.", "BRENNAN: I tried not to get attached to my assistants. I learnt that even the best ones can disappoint. (to Cam) I noticed there was microfracturing on the inside edges of the scapulae as if there were being rubbed together.", "HODGINS: I found gunshot residue on his hands. My bet; that Walter PPK killed our Russian.", "ANGELA: But who killed James Bond?", "HODGINS: Whoever shot at his window on the roof.", "CAM: And where is the briefcase?", "ANGELA: And what's in the briefcase?", "HODGINS: We're going down the rabbit hole here, people. The CIA has no problems silencing people that poke around in their business.", "ANGELA: I hate to break it to you, Jack. But you're the guy who studies bugs, slime and poop. It's hardly assassination worthy.", "HODGINS: Hey! A lot of people would like to see me dead.", "ANGELA: I'm not going to touch that one.", "BRENNAN: (to Cam) Hey, aren't you on the board that grant scholarships?", "CAM: To high school students. (to Hodgins) How about you, Mr Conspiracy Man? Doesn't your foundation give out grants?", "HODGINS: Yeah. After the crash, our trustees froze all assets until they can reevaluate the portfolio.", "(Hodgins looks at Angela, followed suit by Cam and Brennan; Angela finally realizes and speaks)", "ANGELA: I packed my lunch! You guys are gonna have to try-", "WENDELL: (swaps his ID and enters platform) Excuse me, Dr. Brennan.", "(All four of them are startled by Wendell's presence and greets him)", "ANGELA: Heeeyy.", "HODGINS: Dude!", "CAM: (smiles widely) What are you doing here?", "WENDELL: Oh. Uh, Agent Booth is ready to drive Dr Brennan to Langley.", "(All 4 of them still looking at Wendell)", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "(Wendell being confused by their behavior, turns around and leaves)", "(Cut to: Booth's car. Brennan & Booth are discussing)", "BRENNAN: In 500 BC, Sun Tzu devotes attention to intelligence gathering and the art of war. He argues that all wars are based on deception. Logically, that would mean if we don't deceive each other, then war would be unnecessary.", "BOOTH: Yeah. But not everyone is logical now, are they? It's frustrating, but that's how the world works.", "BRENNAN: Not between us two.", "BOOTH: Huh?", "BRENNAN: Shouldn't we be honest with each other?", "BOOTH: We're honest. Aren't you? I mean, I am.", "BRENNAN: So you have no problem with me making so much more money than you?", "BOOTH: No. (Brennan doesn't believe in his answer & continues to stare at him) Well yeah, it's- it's a little weird. I mean, you're loaded. I mean, really loaded. And you still don't even have a flat screen. It's just kind of weird, to be honest. It's a little French, if you ask me.", "BRENNAN: But don't you feel that your life would be different if you were wealthy?", "BOOTH: Sure. But, better? I mean, yeah. I wouldn't have to fly coach, but what life throws us, that makes us who we are, right? I mean, fighting through stuffs and the good things; they are not any sweeter if you're rich. Parker, okay? He gives me a hug because it's my weekend and me and you; when we solved a case, it's not about money, right?", "BRENNAN: (thinking about Booth's words) No. No, it's not. (Booth smiles at her) But I'll never have to fly coach. (Booth continues to smile at her despite her lack of modesty)", "(Cut to: CIA Headquarters, Langley. Booth & Brennan is in a room with Arthur Rutledge, the Assistant Director of Intelligence)", "RUTLEDGE: I'm Arthur Rutledge, the Assistant Director of Intelligence. We are very sorry about Greg but he wasn't working on anything for us when he was killed.", "BRENNAN: Well, the FBI matched ballistics from Greg Dorit's gun to the shots that killed Yuri Antonov.", "RUTLEDGE: Greg Dorit wasn't issued a gun. (Booth looks at him questioningly) I'm afraif that protocol in the intelligence community isn't as simple as someone like you is used to.", "(Brennan turns to look at Booth)", "BOOTH: (insulted) Someone like me? Look, Rutledge, the more you tell us about your agent's assignment, the easier it will be for us to track down the guy who murdered him.", "BRENNAN: (to Rutledge) That, is what someone like him does.", "BOOTH: Correct.", "RUTLEDGE: Greg Dorit wasn't an agent. He was an analyst, and a rather poor one in that.", "BOOTH: So you mean, it doesn't matter that he's dead?", "RUTLEDGE: As far as what assignments he was working on, that information is classified. (stands up to leave) And far beyond with what I'm able to share with-", "BOOTH: Someone like me.", "RUTLEDGE: Yes.", "BOOTH: FYI, you know I have Level 3 clearance and my SSBI is renewed 2 months ago, which allows me to get this warrant. (presents warrant in his hand)", "BRENNAN: (impressed) Well played, Booth.", "BOOTH: (smiles at Brennan) Thanks, Bones.", "(RUTLEDGE walks back to see the warrant; while Booth smiles in victory)", "RUTLEDGE: (after studying the warrant) Right. (points to Brennan) She doesn't have clearance. You can wait in the lobby, Dr Brennan.", "(Brennan in disbelief and looks at Booth; Booth persuades her to leave)", "BOOTH: Bones, it's okay. I'll see you later. (Brennan stands up to leave)", "BRENNAN: (approaches the door to leave) You know, I can keep a secret.", "BOOTH: Right, Bones. We know. (Door is heard closing)", "RUTLEDGE: Greg worked at his desk. Analyzing websites, searching for communications hidden in images and intechs.", "BOOTH: So you got an analyst to assassinate a Russian courier?", "RUTLEDGE: I already told you, we didn't. Whatever motive that Greg had to kill Antonov, I'd like to know just as much as you would.", "BOOTH: The problem seems to be about the briefcase. (approaches Rutledge closer) So, you know anything about that?", "RUTLEDGE: Nothing than the fact it has gone missing.", "BOOTH: You know what would might be in the briefcase, Mr Rutledge?", "RUTLEDGE: Just diamonds. Right? (Booth looks at him suspiciously)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab, autopsy room. Cam is examining Greg's body with Wendell as she uses forceps to remove the eyeballs)", "WENDELL: Wooh. Those eyes are New Year's Eve bloodshot. You think Dorit was hammered when he died?", "CAM: There's no alcohol in toxscreen.", "WENDELL: I found this marks on his right arm. Wooh, must've hurt. (screen shows Dorit's arm under magnifier) They're holes; uniform in diameter but the pattern is random.", "CAM: Looks like they were made with a drill press.", "WENDELL: He might have been tortured. I'll get the x-ray in high-res photos for Dr Brennan. (takes photos of the corpse)", "CAM: Wendell. Let me ask you, you mentioned the neighborhood that you grew up (Wendell stops & looks at Cam) and I don't mean to pry, you said it was kinda poor?", "WENDELL: (jokingly) Like a bar band rather than the opera. Trust me, there are more people on my side than that one.", "CAM: No! Uh. I- was just asking because of your scholarship.", "WENDELL: Oh, you mean the miracle.", "CAM: Miracle?", "WENDELL: Yeah, that's what me and my mom call it.", "CAM: Really?", "WENDELL: Yeah, she's in church everyday giving thanks. (jokingly) I think she's there more than the priest. (Cam smiles at him) You know, when I make cash someday, I'm starting one myself. For the other guys like me. (pauses) Oh um, sorry. You have a question about the scholarship?", "CAM: (stutters) No. That- just answers about everything.", "(Cam & Wendell exchange glances; with Cam looking away after that, feeling a little heartbroken for Wendell)", "(Cut to: CIA Headquarters. A lady, Mandy Summers is showing Booth the office Greg works at)", "MANDY: (leading the way for Booth) This is Greg Dorit's office. Mr.Rutledge wanted me to make sure that you have everything you need. (opens the door to Greg's office & enters) Can't believe Greg is dead.", "BOOTH: (inspects the office) There's nothing here. There's no computer, there's no files, there's nothing.", "MANDY: Any employee who dies have his files and equipments secured.", "BOOTH: Were you friends with Mr Dorit? (Mandy nods her head) You know, they said he wasn't a good analyst. Maybe that's what got him killed.", "MANDY: No no! He was exceptional at his job! He was always finding threats the other analysts missed.", "BOOTH: Then why would they say he wasn't good?", "MANDY: Because Greg would push, makes sure his leads were followed or he'd file a report. (pauses for a moment & turns around; making sure she was discrete) They want him to look a little nuts, so his reports wouldn't be taken seriously.", "BOOTH: You know what he was working on before he disappeared?", "MANDY: No. But he was working late. We were supposed to have lunch over the weekend, but- (hesitates to continue)", "BOOTH: But?", "MANDY: But I never heard from him.", "BOOTH: Is there anything else you wanna tell me?", "MANDY: (quickly replies) No.", "BOOTH: (coyly) Mr Rutledge did say, whatever I need.", "MANDY: He did say that.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "MANDY: (quickly shuts the door behind her) Greg was told to testify against someone and he wasn't sure if the guy was really guilty, but it was part of his job as an analyst and he wanted to be a team player.", "BOOTH: So who did he testify against?", "MANDY: His name is Pedro Marquez. Agency thought he was terrorist. He was detained in prison for almost a year before he was cleared of all charges.", "BOOTH: So it was Greg's testimony that put him behind bars. So did Greg think that this Marquez guy was seeking revenge?", "MANDY: (whispers) Well, I did. Marquez was just released from prison last week.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT FOUR", "(Cut to: FBI interrogation room. Booth & Brennan questions Pedro Marquez about Greg)", "BOOTH: So Pedro, (shows him a photo of Greg) you recognize this man?", "PEDRO: Yeah. That's the spook who accused me of being a terrorist. I mean, cmon, look at this face.", "BOOTH: They thought you were the retread for SUV's, huh? But really, you're just a poor little misunderstood car thief who owns a chop shop.", "PEDRO: Yeah.", "BOOTH: So. Greg Dorit, Pedro.", "PEDRO: My mom says I should write him a 'thank you' note.", "BRENNAN: What, for sending you to jail?", "PEDRO: CIA just cut me a cheque of a hundred grand for a wrongful something, and uh, defamation something. (Booth gives him a blank look) I got it yesterday. Hey, I don't have to steal cars anymore.", "BOOTH: Alright, so where were you last Friday night?", "PEDRO: Working. Like I said, I only just got the cheque.", "BRENNAN: At your chop shop, do you have a 70 gauge drill bit?", "PEDRO: Yeah, I got every size.", "BOOTH: We have evidence that Dorit here, was tortured before he was killed.", "PEDRO: (surprised) Wait, the dude's dead?!", "BOOTH: Yeah, and they drilled holes into his arms.", "BRENNAN: And a 70 gauge bit would be a perfect fit.", "PEDRO: Oh, come on.", "BRENNAN: That was before the CIA gave you the cheque.", "BOOTH: I'm thinking that he's looking to take out some revenge.", "PEDRO: Hell no! You can ask my mother, I would never kill no one.", "BOOTH: So I'm saying that you followed Dorit, saw him take out the courier, so you probably figured that the briefcase was very valuable, so you killed Dorit and take off with the case.", "PEDRO: (pauses) Is there any way possible you can accuse me of all these charges in a public courtroom? Cause I would really like to buy my mama a new condo.", "(Booth and Brennan exchange glances)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab. Wendell is with Dr. Brennan on the platform and examining the x-rays)", "WENDELL: According to his files, Dorit fractured his ankle twice, trying to complete an entry level obstacle course during CIA training.", "BRENNAN: This makes no logical sense. He dressed like a fictional British spy and pursued a shadow career as a CIA field agent eventhough he clearly do not possess the physical aptitude necessary for success.", "WENDELL: He doesn't want to be stuck behind a desk. He saw an opportunity to live out his dreams and he took it.", "BRENNAN: (scoffs) It's ridiculous.", "WENDELL: I don't know, but it's always been my dream to work with you. (Brennan looks awed) Sometimes, dreaming is the way to go. No, not in the case of course. (chuckles) I, uh, cross reference the x-rays, and enlarge the holes made into the radius. Most drill bits leave striations, these have none.", "BRENNAN: So, not a drill. Find out what other objects can make cavities this smooth.", "WENDELL: Already on it (smiles and walks off)", "BRENNAN: Excellent work, Mr Bray. I'll be sorry to see you go.", "WENDELL: (turns around in confusion) Oh. Where am I going?", "BRENNAN: Cam didn't tell you?", "WENDELL: I guess not.", "BRENNAN: She can be occasionally, quite sentimental. Uh, the fundings were cut back and you lost your scholarship, which means your internship is cancelled.", "WENDELL: (in disbelief) But aren't there any other funding resources?", "BRENNAN: We have explored all of these alternatives.", "WENDELL: (still shocked) I know. I can take the autumn work. But if I'm uh, placed here, there's no guarantee I can come back, right?", "BRENNAN: We can't hold a place. No, I'm sorry. (inhales deeply)", "WENDELL: (disappointed) Sure. I understand.", "BRENNAN: You are one of the best interns I've ever had the pleasure to work with. You will be missed.", "(Hodgins enters the platform; unaware of what just happened)", "HODGINS: (enthusiastically) Okay, so I was inspecting Dorit's watch and I see the battery case is loose, so I opened it. And what do I find? A bug.", "BRENNAN: Why such an excitement over this particular insect?", "HODGINS: Cause this bug, is not an insect. It's a bug, bug. (holds up a surveillance bug)", "(Brennan looks unimpressed, instead she glances at Wendell who also looks unimpressed; still devastated over the news)", "HODGINS: Someone was spying on our spy, who was spying on another spy. (silence) Come on! A little enthusiasm here? (Brennan still silent, Wendell speaks up)", "WENDELL: I lost my scholarship.", "HODGINS: (to Brennan) Oh man! You told him?!", "BRENNAN: I thought he knew! Wha- (looks over at Wendell again & noticed his devastation) I'll- I should tell Booth about this surveillance device (walks away)", "(Hodgins and Wendell exchange looks)", "(Cut to: FBI Builiding, Booth's office. Booth is seen putting a band-aid on his arm as Brennan enters)", "BRENNAN: You okay, Booth?", "BOOTH: (gets up from his chair) Yeah, what's up?", "BRENNAN: Did Mandy fight back when you brought her in? (approaches Booth)", "BOOTH: I'm fine! I just cut myself while trying to fix the pipes. (avoiding Brennan & seems to leave in a rush)", "BRENNAN: Let me see (reaching out for Booth's arm)", "BOOTH: No, Bones! I'm fine. Let's get to Mandy, she's waiting in the interrogation room. (Brennan still insisting on grabbing Booth's arm to check)", "BRENNAN: Well, she can continue to wait! Didn't your book for imbeciles teach you how to avoid injuries? (Booth still avoiding Brennan from checking his arm)", "BOOTH: No, the book sorta ran out of copies. And it's book for dummies, not book for imbeciles. And I thought I would remember how to fix the pipe, but I can't.", "BRENNAN: I'm sure it's very difficult. I mean, I can't imagine being capable to fix my own plumbing.", "BOOTH: Cause you don't want to! You'd rather buy a plumber.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'd rather have someone teach me.", "BOOTH: Look, I can teach you. Well, I could've taught you. I just- let's get inside. (enters the interrogation room with Brennan)", "(Cut to: Interrogation room. Booth & Brennan interrogates Mandy Summers about the bug found in Greg's watch)", "BRENNAN: Rutledge said that the bug was checked out in your name.", "MANDY: I got the bug because I was afraid that Greg was cheating on me.", "BOOTH: So, why didn't you mention this before?", "MANDY: We weren't supposed to date! But I guess it's not like the FBI. We're not allowed to sleep with someone else we're working with.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) What? Is she talking about us?", "BOOTH: We're not-", "BRENNAN: No!", "MANDY: Oh, it's okay. I'm CIA. My lips are sealed. (Brennan & Booth still speechless) Greg and I were under the radar. Weeks before he went missing, Greg broke up with me. I guess I got a little too jealous. (digs her pocket, takes out her phone & shows something on it to Booth)", "BOOTH: Let me see this (Brennan looks over at it too & in the phone was shown a photo of Greg holding up his hand as if he was waving goodbye) Wait a second, this is how he broke up with you? He sent a picture to you, waving goodbye to you, in an email?", "MANDY: Well, we had our problems. But we love each other! Greg was about to propose to me.", "BRENNAN: And why did you think that?", "MANDY: Because the last conversation I overheard, it was Greg and Mr Rutledge. They were talking about diamonds. (Booth & Brennan became suspicious) And I felt so guilty for not trusting Greg, so I disconnected the bug and I never heard anything else. I swear!", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab, Angela's office. Hodgins and Angela are examining the photo in Mandy's phone)", "HODGINS: What kind of creep breaks up with someone over an email?", "ANGELA: (chuckles) Yeah, well like there's an acceptable protocol for crushing someone's soul. (notices something odd about the picture) Hey, wait a second. This is weird. (approaches the screen) This image file is way bigger than it should be. Which either means there is some sort of compression in there or-", "HODGINS: Or a stenographer hidden data within the file.", "(Screen emits a lot of beeping sound as Angela tries to separate the components of the photo)", "ANGELA: Look at all that code. Maybe he wasn't breaking up with her at all. (looks at Hodgins)", "HODGINS: (moves closer to the screen & impressed with the hidden code) She was the only person he could trust. (looks at Angela) He's sending her a message.", "ACT FIVE", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab. Wendell & Cam are still examining Greg Dorit's skeleton)", "WENDELL: Still no cause of death, but the damage to the cartilage and the lumbar vertebrae definitely indicate torture. He was placed in a very painful way for a long period of time. I'm analyzing the injuries to get the exact position.", "CAM: The strange is, I've found no contraction band necrosis in the myocardium in the heart.", "WENDELL: That means he showed no signs of distress even after hours of torture, isn't that impossible?", "CAM: Unless the CIA underestimated this guy. Anyone who can take that kind of abuse makes James Bond looks like a weeny.", "WENDELL: (chuckles) Weeny?", "CAM: (smiles) I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from.", "WENDELL: (smiles back sadly) I'm gonna miss you.", "(Cut to: FBI Building. Brennan enters to see Booth who is eating a cup of noodles)", "BRENNAN: Hey, Angela is still trying to decode the picture. She says it's very complex.", "BOOTH: (chewing on his food) We're dealing with the CIA here, Bones.(Brennan hands over a plastic bag with something inside to Booth) What's that?", "BRENNAN: (excited) The book you wanted! To fix your plumbing. I found it at a used bookstore!", "BOOTH: (surprised and impressed) Look at that! Thanks, Bones! That, is the sweetest thing! (takes out the book)", "BRENNAN: Sure! (grabs the book) Uh, the book was um, $6.42. You can pay me later.", "BOOTH: (eating his noodles) Mmhm, excuse me? It's a gift!", "BRENNAN: No, wait no! If it's a gift, you might think of it as an insult to your virility. I can take a cheque if that's easier.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) How about a credit card?", "BRENNAN: (unaware of the sarcasm) No, I don't take credit card.", "BOOTH: Right. I was just joking. Well you know, now, once I flipped through this...Uh y'know, if you wanna learn..", "BRENNAN: Sure. I always wanted to learn how to wheel the wrench.", "BOOTH: Okay. Just don't get all defensive if I know something more than you do.", "BRENNAN: There is something I don't understand. How come we can't bring Rutledge in for questioning? Mandy said he was dicussing with Dorit about diamonds. Clearly, he was lying.", "BOOTH: Bones, he's the Assistant Director of the CIA. We just can't accuse him of murder without something more definitive than an overheard conversation.", "BRENNAN: But perhaps, Mr Bray found something more on the remains. Cam says he's staying remarkably focused despite losing his scholarship.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian lab. Wendell enters the room along with Cam explaining something about the remains)", "WENDELL: I found in addition to the perimortem discompaction, there's also significant hemorrhaging on C3.", "CAM: Truma-confined in a limited space.", "WENDELL: If a precision knife-hand strike was delivered at C3 (does hand motion), it could be used to render a victim unconscious.", "CAM: A blow to that region could cause a severe nerve damage.", "WENDELL: Which is why the maneuver is also known by trained combatants, special forces, navy seals-", "CAM: And perhaps, the Assistant Director of the CIA.", "WENDELL: If he'd been a field agent first, it seems likely. (his phone starts ringing) Oh. (reaches for his phone & looks at caller ID) Uh, that's my mom. I haven't told her yet, you mind if I take this?", "CAM: (shakes head in approval) I'll let Booth know. (walks away, still feeling upset over Wendell's loss)", "WENDELL: (in the background) Hi mom.", "(Cut to FBI building. Booth, Brennan and Sweets talks to PRESCOTT Prescott from the State Department)", "PRESCOTT: Prior to becoming Assistant Director, Rutledge was a field agent in Russia.", "BRENNAN: Where he could have met Antonov.", "PRESCOTT: In 2004, he headed a detention center in Afghanistan.", "SWEETS: Yeah, where he earned a reputation for very effective interrogation technique.", "BOOTH: Torture?", "SWEETS: Yeah, one of the techniques was temporary nerve damage to the spine.", "BRENNAN: Why would he torture Greg Dorit? They're on the same side.", "SWEETS: Perhaps he's a double agent. I mean, Rutledge certainly fits that profile. They're usually intelligent male officers who had poor father figures, resulting in oppressed anger and revenge fantasies.", "PRESCOTT: Double agent?", "SWEETS: By betraying his country, Rutledge is in a sense choosing a new father, one which might treat him better than the last.", "BRENNAN: Yes, but that would fit Booth and he's not a double agent. (to Booth) Are you?", "BOOTH: (disbelief) What? Stop! Watch it, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Elephants are gray, Agent Booth. But not all gray things are elephants.", "BOOTH: (confused & asks Brennan) That's good for me, right?", "BRENNAN: (looks at Booth) Yeah.", "PRESCOTT: You're really going to trust something this important to a kid? (points at Sweets)", "SWEETS: Oh, me? At least I tuck myself in at night.", "PRESCOTT: Okay, there's a briefcase out there and only God knows what is inside and apparently you people don't seem to have a clue.", "BOOTH: (looking at a case file) Oh.", "BRENNAN: (looks over) What is it?", "BOOTH: Maybe we just found our smoking gun (hands over case file to Brennan to read & stands to leave)", "(Cut to: Interrogation room. Booth & Brennan interrogates Rutledge)", "BOOTH: You put in a request to ICE to pull a baggage inspector off the diplomatic line and replace him with one of your own men.", "BRENNAN: You created a security hole so that the briefcase could enter the country.", "BOOTH: See that right there? (holds up a signed form) That's your signature. You're going down.", "(All 3 of them exchange glances for a while before Rutledge decides to speak again)", "RUTLEDGE: Okay. Whatever recording equipment you have in this room, turn it off.", "(Brennan looks hesitatingly at Booth, then Booth signals to someone behind the mirror to turn it off)", "RUTLEDGE: I created the hole, so that an additional of 20 million in diamonds can be brought into the country. The diamonds were then to be shipped to Pakistan in exchange for political prisoners.", "BOOTH: You keep congress in the dark. Iran-contra all over again.", "BRENNAN: So you killed your own analyst because he got in your way?", "RUTLEDGE: No. Dorit read some online chatter about the exchange. I told him to mind his own business. I tried to save him. Dorit got killed because he didn't listen to me.", "BOOTH: Maybe he got killed because there was something more dangerous in that briefcase instead of diamonds.", "ACT SIX", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab, Angela's office. She's examining Dorit's photo when Cam walks in)", "CAM: (sense of urgency) Hey, have you seen Booth and Brennan?", "ANGELA: Uh, they're in the bone room. Is everything okay?", "CAM: (in a rush to leave) No. The CIA is taking over the investigation and they're collecting both sets of remains in 10 minutes.", "ANGELA: (taken aback) Wai-wait, so we only have-", "CAM: 10 minutes. How are things going in here?", "ANGELA: Um. I'm still trying to decode the image. It seems that most of the date is centered in his hand. It could be a map of some kind.", "CAM: (rushes to leave) Well, do it fast.", "(Cut to: Bone room. Cam just informed Booth, Brennan and Wendell about the CIA)", "BOOTH: (pissed off) Rutledge is claiming National Security?", "BRENNAN: He can't do that.", "BOOTH: No, he can't! He can just bury the evidence and we won't be able to touch him!", "CAM: Nine minutes left.", "WENDELL: Nine minutes, you're joking right?", "BOOTH: It's not a joke. (to Wendell) Let's pretend this is the Stanley Cup finals, alright? You're down by 2 goals and you have 9 minutes left.", "WENDELL: But there's so much data here-", "BOOTH: The puck is about to drop. How do you wanna go down? How do you want to be remembered?", "WENDELL: (chuckles) Alright. I found erosion fractures along the proximal humerus. Also, the heads of each femur were dislocated from the acetabula. Mr. Dorit's body was bent back so far that the tendons snapped the bone.", "BRENNAN: That would happened if his hands and feet were tied behind his back.", "WENDELL: Right. Then he was hung by his hands. I did a computer simulation (grabs remote to show simulation)", "CAM: (sees simulation) Okay, if he was left upside down long enough, congestion of the head and brain can lead to asphyxiation. Particular hemorrhaging would explain the bloodshot eyes.", "BRENNAN: We have cause of death.", "BOOTH: Great! That's one goal. But we still can't tie Rutledge to the murder!", "BRENNAN: When I was in Schastia identifying bodies, there was one victim who suffered an Ukranian torture called the Swallow. He was suspended upside down, very similar to this.", "BOOTH: No, that's not enough. (to Wendell) Okay, look. You got one shot. One shot on goal. Whatcha gonna do?", "WENDELL: (thinks for a moment before figuring it out) The holes on the radius! I've been trying to figure out what caused them. It wasn't drill. But it was strong enough to bore through bone but leave no trace.", "BRENNAN: A laser.", "WENDELL: Diamonds are cut by laser.", "BRENNAN: Lena Brodsky is the head of a diamond firm, she would have easy access to a laser.", "BOOTH: She's Ukranian! Dorit got to the case before she did, she's the one who tortured and killed Dorit.", "(Rutledge walks in)", "RUTLEDGE: (to his agents) Take the body.", "BRENNAN: No! Wait, you can't take him.", "WENDELL: Yeah! We're still in regulation and we have 4 minutes left on the clock!", "BOOTH: (to Rutledge) Look, we know you didn't kill him. But Dorit knew Antonov was working for Lena Bordsky. He came to you guys but you didn't listen, so he takes care of it himself.", "BRENNAN: And then Lena finds out, kills him. She must know where the briefcase is.", "(Cut to: FBI building, interrogation room. Lena Bordsky is seen in handcuffs)", "BRENNAN: We have the neodymium laser you used to burn holes in Greg Dorit's arm.", "BOOTH: And the gun you fired at Dorit's car after you saw him take off with your case.", "BRENNAN: What was in that case that is so much more valuable than millions in diamonds?", "RUTLEDGE: Where is the briefcase, Lena?", "BOOTH: (Lena still silent) Okay, great. Whoever who hired you, they can't be too happy. So when we send you back to Ukraine, I'm sure you'll live a long life. (turns to leave)", "LENA: I don't know where the case is. Dorit never talked. After what I've put him through, he should've talked. Anyone would've talked. (pauses) I've never seen a man so brave.", "BOOTH: (phone starts ringing & picks up) Booth.", "(Cut to Angela's room and transition to Booth's room in FBI building with Brennan & Rutledge)", "ANGELA: I was right, it's a map. (referring to Greg's photo) Keep your eye on his hand. He wasn't waving goodbye. He was telling Mandy where he hid his briefcase.", "(Screen zooms in on Dorit's photo and reveals a location in coordinates)", "BOOTH: We don't know what's in that case. (to Rutledge) Call in your calvary RUTLEDGE: I know how to do my job.", "BRENNAN: Then, how come we found the killer and the case?", "(Cut to: A scene shows a FBI vehicle with the sirens turn on, then transitions to a man gearing up a protection suit. He enters the locker room where the briefcase is hidden. Booth, Brennan and Rutledge observes the situation from outside through a webcam. The locker is broke open and the briefcase is seen. After examining the contents of the briefcase, a signal of clearance is given. Booth, Brennan and Rutledge enters the locker room to view inside of the briefcase and a USB computer drive is seen.)", "BRENNAN: A USB computer drive. That's what this was all about?", "BOOTH: Information. Today, it can be more dangerous than one bomb.", "(Cut to: Greg Dorit's memorial)", "BOOTH: Stars on the wall represents agents who died courageously while serving the country.", "BRENNAN: The memorial wall was reserved for agents. Mr. Dorit is not an agent.", "RUTLEDGE: Mr Dorit's case, I asked to make an exception.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. The team bids goodbye to Wendell)", "ANGELA: (hugs Wendell) I'm gonna miss you, Wendell. Stay safe, okay?", "WENDELL: Yeah. You too.", "HODGINS: (handshakes and pulls Wendell into a guy hug) Won't be the same without you, man.", "BRENNAN: (Wendell looks at Brennan) We are all, grateful for your exceptional work, Mr. Bray. (offers a handshake)", "WENDELL: Thank you.", "CAM: (walks in) Hold on a second.", "WENDELL: Oh, don't worry. I wouldn't have left without saying goodbye.", "CAM: (smiles) That's nice, but you don't have to leave.", "WENDELL: (confused) Excuse me?", "CAM: I was just notified that they found new funding for your scholarship. You are covered in full for the next 2 years. Apparently, a donation was made anonymously.", "WENDELL: (surprised) Anonymously. (looks at Brennan, then at Hodgins but none of them said anything) Please allow me to say thank you to anonymous. (smiles)", "BRENNAN: We still need all the evidence photographed and catalogued before we send it to the federal prosecutor's office, Mr Bray.", "WENDELL: Yes, Dr. Brennan. Right away. (looks at everyone) Thank you. (walks off)", "CAM: (to the rest of them) Actually, they received enough anonymous donations for 3 scholarships (smugs)", "BRENNAN: (smugs) Hmm.", "HODGINS: (smirks) That is, quite a coincidence. (walks out)", "CAM: Mmhmm, it really is. (walks out too)", "(Brennan and Angela smiles at each other)", "(Cut to: Booth's apartment. Booth and Brennan is seen huddle on the kitchen sink)", "BOOTH: For the next step, you need to attach the elbow using a PVC cement there. (Brennan tries to fix the pipes) Stick that little fuzzy ball in there and swish it around. Got it?", "BRENNAN: (applying PVC on pipe) It stinks.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Well you smell dead bodies and this stinks? Okay.", "BRENNAN: There's a beautiful logic to this. It's like reconstructing the circulatory system. The water is the blood. The pipes are the veins.", "BOOTH: Right right. So what you need to do is apply some pressure and hold it there for a minute (places his hand over hers to hold the pipe in place; both of them looked at each other) Right. You know, just making sure that it's in place. Student-teacher, student-teacher.", "(Brennan laughs; followed by Booth laughing along)", "BOOTH: You know, Bones, I'm.. I'm glad that, uh, we don't have any secrets between each other.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, I like that.", "BOOTH: I mean if we have something on our mind we just, we just share it.", "BRENNAN: Sure. (pauses) Even with all of the financial and intellectual contradictions I, still feel close to you BOOTH: Right, because you know, none of that really matters anyway.", "BRENNAN: Sometimes looking at it through your eyes, I believe that.", "(They both look into each other eyes for a while before Booth speaks again)", "BOOTH: Alright, pipe seems tight and secure. (removes his hand from the pipe) Hold on there, let me just open up the water (reaches for the taphead and turns it on) There. You can take your hands off now, Bones.", "BRENNAN: (hesitating) You sure?", "BOOTH: Bones-", "(Brennan lets go her hand quickly)", "BOOTH: Look at that, huh. Nice and secure.", "BRENNAN: No drip.", "BOOTH: No drip. (Brennan chuckles) You're a ...you're a good student.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Only as good as my teacher (smiles)", "(Pipe suddenly burst out with water)", "BRENNAN: Ahhh! (covers herself from the water) Turn it off!", "BOOTH: (covering his eyes from the water) Huh? Ahhhh. Ahahahah!", "BRENNAN: (already out from under the sink) My watch is ruined!", "BOOTH: What do you mean your watch is ruined? It's a Rolex!", "(Screen fades to black. The End.)" ]

[ "When human remains are found alongside the railroad, Brennan and Booth are called to the case. The bones belong to Levi Yoder, a member of the Amish community who disappeared roughly two months prior to his Rumspringa, or exploration of the outside world. Brennan and Booth discover that Levi was a piano prodigy, and their investigation leads them to believe that his extraordinary talent may have lead him to an untimely death. Meanwhile, Cam copes with the stress that comes from being a new parent, and Booth helps keep Cam's stepdaughter Michelle in line." ]

[ "\"The Plain in the Prodigy\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: Crime Scene - Train tracks in Virginia. Brennan is examing parts of the skeleton when Booth approaches)", "BOOTH: Okay, so the guy here says he was out doing routine track maintenance and saw the bones, he thought it was a deer.", "BRENNAN: Human dentition is completely different; another example of our country's deplorable educational system.", "BOOTH: All right, until every kid becomes a dentist, we have some psycho throwing a hacked-up body out of a speeding train.", "BRENNAN: No. These bones were under the train. If body parts had been thrown out a window, they'd be scattered in nearby foliage. Level of decomp suggests the remains have been exposed to the elements for at least two months.", "BOOTH: Drunk? Suicide?", "BRENNAN: Conjecture. There's evidence of sharp-force trauma on the sternum.", "BOOTH: Stabbed.", "BRENNAN: More conjecture.", "BOOTH: Beaten.", "BRENNAN: Would you please stop that?", "BOOTH: Come on. It's a beautiful day, Bones. We must enjoy conjecture.", "BRENNAN: There's a distinct lack of hemorrhage. This victim was dead before being hit by the train.", "BOOTH: All right, so, someone killed him, dumped him on the tracks in hopes of trying to make it look like a suicide.", "BRENNAN: Well, I can't determine motive, but I can say the train dragged the victim, and his body broke up as it smashed against the rails and ties.", "BOOTH: Whoa. Wow. We're saying the bones and the body gunk were scattered along the track here?", "BRENNAN: Yeah. For miles. Yes. All trains should be diverted from this track until we locate the rest of the remains.", "BOOTH: But do you know how much chaos that's going to cause Amtrak?", "BRENNAN: Well, I told you, Booth. I'm not interested in conjecture.", "(garbled radio transmission fade into scene change to designate time lapse)", "BOOTH: You know, when I was a kid, Bones, I always wanted to be a hobo. I wanted to ride the rails, play the guitar...", "BRENNAN: Be malnourished, riddled with preventable disease.", "BOOTH: Tell you what. You know what? You could make Santa Claus cry. You really could.", "BRENNAN: Hey, you're wearing your belt buckle again. Cocky.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing, I just kept staring at it, thinking to myself, \"Why would I wear something like this?\"", "BRENNAN: 'Cause you love it. You always have.", "BOOTH: Yeah, that's what I landed on, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm glad you did. I like it. It's... it's Boothy.", "BOOTH: Boothy?", "BRENNAN: There's a bone cyst on this femur. The result of the parasite Echinococcus granulosus. It's extremely uncommon in the U.S.", "BOOTH: Immigrant, illegal. Sorry. No conjecting. I'm just being Boothy. So, what do you got there?", "BRENNAN: (she picks up the pelvis) Pelvis is male. Partial epiphyseal fusion indicates the victim to be in his teens.", "BOOTH: He was just a kid.", "BRENNAN: The markers on these bones are anomalous; even for an immigrant. I'd like to get them back to the lab to run some tests.", "BOOTH: Well, hold on, Bones.", "BRENNAN: FBI Forensics can continue the search. I'll send Clark to supervise.", "BOOTH: Bones, time-out. Hold on. You might want to take the skull back there that my people are holding.", "(A FBI tech holds up the skull)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Cam and Michelle are leaving. )", "CAM: So, you and Perry going to get something to eat after the library?", "MICHELLE: Probably.", "CAM: Okay. But promise me you're going to...", "MICHELLE: Call if I'm going to be late, I know.", "CAM: Sorry. New mom.", "MICHELLE: It's okay. Oh, um, I wanted to ask you, you know that dance this weekend?", "CAM: The... formal?", "MICHELLE: Yeah. Perry and I thought it might be fun to, you know, make a whole night of it. Like, we'd rent a limo and go to breakfast in the morning and...", "CAM: The whole night? Well, Where would you sleep?", "MICHELLE: We wouldn't. That's the point.", "CAM: So, you and Perry would be spending the night together, not sleeping?", "MICHELLE: Why do you say it like that?", "CAM: Just thinking it through. That's all. (horn honking)", "MICHELLE: Oh, Here's Perry. I thought you liked Perry.", "CAM: Well, I do, but...", "MICHELLE: You'll think about it?", "CAM: Yeah.", "(Michelle gets into Perry's car)", "PERRRY: Hey, 'Chelle.", "MICHELLE: Hey.", "PERRY: Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: Cam, Perry. Call me Cam.", "MICHELLE: Bye.", "CAM: Bye, guys.", "(She walks away but looks back and sees Perry kissing Michelle so she runs behind a tree to spy.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Clark & Hodgins are unpacking boxes of evidence.)", "HODGINS: Flora! Oh, Clark, you shouldn't have. I presume that is for me.", "CLARK EDISON: Yeah, knock yourself out.", "(Angela enters the platform)", "ANGELA: Hey. Brennan said she found a skull, so...I can give you a face.", "CLARK: Yeah. It's right here; complete with perimortem fractures on the parietal. Looks like the victim was badly beaten.", "ANGELA: Brennan said this was a teenager, right?", "CLARK: Mm-hmm. Yeah.", "ANGELA: These clothing scraps look hand-stitched. Like his mom made them. That makes it sadder somehow.", "(Cam enters the platform)", "CAM: Where's Dr. Brennan?", "HODGINS: She's doing an isotope analysis. She thinks the victim might be from another country.", "CLARK: Oh, that makes sense. His cavities suggest that his drinking water wasn't fluoridated.", "CAM: When do teenagers start having s*x?", "ANGELA: Hello!", "HODGINS: If they could, they'd start in the morning and go until they drop.", "CLARK: Please tell me this is about the case.", "ANGELA: This is about Michelle, isn't it? Is she having s*x?", "CLARK: Working here is like being on The View.", "CAM: No. I meant \"what age?\"", "CLARK: Dr. Saroyan, um, may I be excused to attend to something more case-related?", "CAM: Oh, Dr. Brennan already requested that you suit up to supervise the FBI techs' retrieval of the remains at the train tracks.", "CLARK: Wait. Dr. Brennan wants me to put on a jumpsuit and walk along a railroad track? Mm-mmm. That is not a good look on a brother.", "ANGELA: I bet you were an early starter, weren't you, Clark? A prodigy, maybe?", "CLARK: Um, in case you haven't heard, um, Miss Montenegro, I have, uh, work to do. So, excuse me.", "(As he leaves, he runs into a table. Everyone is amused.)", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room.)", "BRENNAN: No pesticides. No evidence of processed foods.", "BOOTH: The kid's from the boonies.", "BRENNAN: No, it's more significant than that, Booth. Our victim grew up with no bone markers that indicate modern life. No evidence of contact with electricity or petrochemicals.", "BOOTH: Fine. Then we're back to an immigrant. Maybe a developing nation.", "BRENNAN: No. Isotopic analysis of his bone matches the geology of the Mid-Atlantic states.", "BOOTH: I don't get it.", "BRENNAN: Well, neither do I. Our victim was a teenage boy who died about two months ago, but according to the data, he grew up in the early 1800s.", "[Opening Credits]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Room/Cam's Office. Cam is sitting at her desk reading \"Talking to Your Teen About s*x\" when Brennan enters. Cam tries to cover up the book.)", "BRENNAN: I...discovered the origins of our victim's markers.", "CAM: What? Discovered what?", "BRENNAN: Markers.", "CAM: Great.", "BRENNAN: He wasn't from the 19th century. I took dual X-ray absorpitometry scans of the pelvic bone and then computed...", "CAM: I trust your methods, Dr. Brennan. You can just skip to the conclusion.", "BRENNAN: Our dead teenager was Amish.", "CAM: Amish, like buggies and hats Amish?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "CAM: Then let's call Booth. Maybe something will turn up on Missing Persons.", "BRENNAN: He's already checking. I'm going to meet him. (noticing Cam's book) Is that a cartoon rendering of a pen1s?", "CAM: Uh...Why, I guess it is. Look at that.", "BRENNAN: Why is it talking?", "CAM: Isn't Booth expecting you?", "BRENNAN: It's cute.", "(She leaves.)", "(Cut to: Booth's Car - Day.)", "BOOTH: So, Levi Yoder's parents filed a missing persons report about two months ago. Kid's a ringer for Angela's sketch.", "BRENNAN: He was probably on his rumspringa. That would explain the DMV photo.", "BOOTH: Well, what do you mean?", "BRENNAN: Amish don't drive while living in their community.", "BOOTH: No, I mean, uh, rum... rum what?", "BRENNAN: Rumspringa. It's the period when Amish youth are encouraged to explore the outside world. It translates to \"running around.\"", "BOOTH: That's crazy.", "BRENNAN: No more crazy than your religion.", "BOOTH: Hey, look, we reject Satan, and they reject buttons.", "BRENNAN: Rumspringa is a quite rational way to help teens make an informed decision as to whether or not to be baptized into the Amish faith as adults.", "BOOTH: Right. Take a bunch of sheltered kids and set them loose-- recipe for disaster, if you ask me.", "BRENNAN: Well, actually, over 85% of Amish teens return and become full members of their church community.", "BOOTH: Really? Huh.", "BRENNAN: How many baptized Catholics are still practicing their faith in adulthood?", "BOOTH: Here we go with the Catholics again. You know what? I don't want to hear about the Pope's hat-again. Okay? He's got to wear it just like, you know, the guys in front of Buckingham Palace have to.", "BRENNAN: Well, it's quite ornate for a vow of poverty. Don't you think?", "(Cut to: Yoder Residence - Outside. Booth and Brennan are with Daniel and Rebecca Yoder)", "BOOTH: We're very sorry for your loss.", "Mr. Yoder: I tried to protect him. I told him the English world was dangerous and seductive.", "BOOTH: Well, where did he go?", "MR. YODER: Washington. He went with another boy, Josef Beachy.", "BRENNAN: So, then, he wasn't really missing.", "MRS. YODER: Not at first. He promised to call us once a week to check in. There's an English famy down the road that let us use their phone.", "Mr. YODER: Then the phone calls stopped.", "MRS. YODER: I spoke to Josef's parents. Josef told them that he and Levi hadn't been living together for quite some time.", "MR. YODER: We contacted the police and filed a missing persons report.", "BOOTH: The last time you spoke to your son, did he seem disappointed or sad about anything?", "MRS. YODER: No. He sounded alive. Happy.", "(she breaks down, sobbing)", "BRENNAN: Would it be all right if we took a look in his room?", "(They nod and lead Booth and Brennan into the house)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. A picture of the area around the train tracks is on the screen)", "ANGELA: Okay, the good news is that this span of track only uses southbound trains, which means the body most likely came from the north.", "CAM: And the bad news?", "ANGELA: Well, we're still missing a lot of body parts. And north of this section, there are multiple switch points where the tracks branch out into dozens of other lines. Clark's looking at a lot of hot hours under the sun.", "CAM: Okay. Send him the routes he has to search.", "ANGELA: Hey. What's goin' on with Michelle?", "CAM: Michelle has this boyfriend, Perry...", "ANGELA: Oh, I met him. He's a hottie.", "(Hodgins enters carrying a tray)", "HODGINS: Who's a hottie?", "ANGELA: Perry. Michelle's boyfriend.", "HODGINS: Yeah, sure. If you like athletic, confident, young...", "ANGELA: Studly.", "SAROYAN: Okay. Let's not say \"studly\", please. (to Hodgins) Do you have something for me?", "HODGINS: Yeah, that vine on the bones? It's kudzu. The growth rate suggests the body parts had been undisturbed for approximately two months.", "CAM: So, the victim must have died shortly after the last time he spoke to his parents.", "HODGINS: Perry's a senior, isn't he? You know, that might be why he's pressuring Michelle to have s*x.", "ANGELA: Why do you think he ispressuring her? Women want s*x just as much as men.", "CAM: Yeah, well, she's a child. She still has stuffed animals.", "ANGELA: Well, I did, too, at 16 and I also had Brian. All you can do is tell her to respect herself and use protection.", "HODGINS: During the Crusades, knights used to lock up their wives and daughters.", "CAM: How helpful. Anything else, Hodgins? And let's try something case-related this time.", "HODGINS: Right. Yes. May I? (he takes the remote) So, the victim's bones, they were covered in a sedimentary rock dust comprised of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and sulfur, so as indicated, he was most likely hooked beneath a coal car.", "ANGELA: Hmm. Well, that eliminates the need for me to search for passenger-only trains. Which means I can focus on which lines used coal cars. Hey, listen, Cam, every teenager goes through this. Think about what you went through.", "CAM: (nods - then realizes...) Me? Oh, God! Wh-What am I gonna do?", "(Cut to: Yoder Residence - Levi's Room.)", "BOOTH: Well, there's no posters, there's no video games. Tell you what, if I was a teenager, I'd want out of this place, too. (he sits on the bed) Nice quilt, though, huh? (he reaches under the bed) Oh, ooh! What do we have here, huh? What is this, some kind of an Amish thing, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Rock collection. I don't, I don't think so.", "(Mrs. Yoder appears in the doorway)", "BOOTH: Mrs. Yoder, do you have any idea why your son would keep these under his bed?", "MRS. YODER: No. I've never seen those before.", "BOOTH: Right. We should get these to Sweets to take a look at.", "BRENNAN: Why? Hodgins would be the one to know if stones would have any evidentiary value.", "BOOTH: A kid hides rocks underneath his bed. They're gonna mean something. Not to Hodgins. Here.", "MRS. YODER: That photograph of Levi, is it possible for me to keep it?", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) The Amish don't use cameras; she probably doesn't have any other pictures of her son.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan)Yeah. (to Mrs. Yoder) Of course. Here you go.", "(Booth hands the picture to Mrs. Yoder. She takes it, traces his face and starts to sob)", "(Cut to: Yoder Residence. Booth and Brennan are walking out the door. Booth is on his phone finishing up a call)", "BOOTH: (into phone) Okay, that's great. Thanks. (he hangs up, then to Brennan) So, listen, the FBI is tracking down the address for this Josef kid. We'll have it in a few -", "(Booth spots a girl walking behind the clothing lines)", "BOOTH: Hello there.", "SARAH: Are you here about Levi?", "BOOTH: Were you two friends?", "AMOS: Sarah. You're needed at home.", "BOOTH: (raising his badge) Clearly she's busy right now.", "SARAH: No, please, it's okay. It's my brother. I have to go.", "AMOS: Sarah!", "BOOTH (whispering): Excuse me. Listen. If you need anything, here's my card. You can call me any time.", "AMOS: Sarah, now!", "(She walks over to her brother and they get in the buggy and drive away)", "BRENNAN: The males are clearly dominant.", "BOOTH: Yeah, clearly. Look. So we got the address for Josef Beachy. Here we go.", "(Cut to: Apartment Complex - Night. Booth and Brennan are outside 1B looking for Josef Beachy.)", "BOOTH: Josef Beachy! FBI! Open up!", "(A kid opens the door holding a bong. Loud music is playing and everyone is drinking)", "BOOTH: Seriously, I yelled \"FBI,\" and you opened up the door holding that?", "JOSEF BEACHY: There's nothing going on here, Officer.", "BOOTH: You're holding a bong! Josef Beachy?", "JOSEF: Yeah, that's me.", "BOOTH: Come on. You're coming with us. Come on.", "(They leave, but Brennan goes back and opens the door.)", "BRENNAN: (yelling) This is not in the proper spirit of rumspringa!", "BOOTH: Bones!", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth and Brennan are talking with Josef)", "JOSEF: Levi moved out a few months ago. I haven't seen him since.", "BRENNAN: Well, we were told you were going through your rumspringa together. Why would he leave?", "JOSEF: Parties weren't his thing. That's kind of what rumspringa's for, right? Cut loose, go a little crazy.", "BOOTH: Getting busted for smoking weed.", "BRENNAN: It's supposed to be a time to contemplate your future faith.", "JOSEF: Well, yeah. I was seeing how in the future I wouldn't want to smoke weed.", "BOOTH: Maybe Levi threatened to tell your parents that you were a stoner and you had to stop him.", "JOSEF: Look, man, Levi had his own secrets. No way he'd risk telling on me.", "BRENNAN: What kind of secrets?", "JOSEF: I don't know, but he used to disappear for hours, never tell anyone where he was going. Even back home, there were times he'd tell his folks he was at work, but I knew that that wasn't true.", "BOOTH: Do you know where Levi went after he moved out?", "JOSEF: Uh, like I said, we didn't really keep in touch. (laughs) You know, I know I will end up going back to the church. I just got to get all the wild out, but Levi - (he gets serious) He always seemed like he had other plans.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Hodgins is examining something under a microscope)", "HODGINS: Ah.", "CAM: Are those the rocks from the victim's room?", "HODGINS: Yup. Just finishing up now. (to Sweets, who is putting on gloves) What are you doing?", "SWEETS: Oh, Booth asked me to take a look.", "HODGINS: At rocks? That is so my domain.", "CAM: Meaning you found something?", "HODGINS: Depends how you define \"something\". I mean, all rocks are a tangible representation of the awe-inspiring passage of time on this tiny planet that we call...", "CAM: Hodgins.", "HODGINS: They're your basic Paleozoic-era metamorphic rocks.", "(Sweets notices somethng and starts putting the rocks in place)", "HODGINS: They're the kind of rocks that you clear awaywhen you're plowing a field, so there's nothing distinguishing about them whatsoever, except for the awe-inspiring passage of time thing.", "CAM: What about the feathers?", "HODGINS: Uh, eastern bluebird. They're a pretty common songbird.", "SWEETS: Guys, I think I know what these are. There are 88 of these. 52 relatively light in color. 36 dark.", "CAM: Okay.", "SWEETS: Piano.", "CAM: You think this is a piano?", "HODGINS: For Fred Flinstone, maybe.", "SWEETS: No. Like a practice keyboard. You've seen them; I used to use one when I took lessons. Plus, the songbird feathers are further signifiers of music. He kept it hidden under his bed because Levi was ashamed. The Amish aren't supposed to play musical instruments.", "HODGINS: So then, where does a kid like Levi learn about pianos?", "SWEETS: Well, Booth said that he had a job in town, right? Every small town has at least one piano teacher.", "CAM: I'll tell Booth.", "(Sweet's starts 'playing' the 'keyboard')", "HODGINS: What are you doing?", "SWEETS: Playing the theme to Titanic.", "HODGINS: Even not hearing it, I hate that song.", "SWEETS: Not the way I play it.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Brennan is examining remains as Clark returns with boxes of evidence from the tracks.)", "BRENNAN: Were you able to get some photos of brake rigging?", "CLARK: Yeah, I got them. I got the photos, I got the bones, I got bit by God knows what kind of bugs out there.", "BRENNAN: Oh, perhaps Hodgins can identify them for you. Trauma is consistent with his body lying face up as an exposed gear lever hooked him in the sternum.", "CLARK: Have you found the cause of death yet?", "BRENNAN: No, not yet. There's evidence of perimortem fractures, but until I get more bones, I won't be able to see a pattern.", "CLARK: Dr. Bernard covered all the tracks between the bridge and the, uh, switch point.", "BRENNAN: Well, we're still missing over 60% of the vertebrae. Not to mention a number of extremities.", "CLARK: Animal scavengers must have made off with the rest of the bones.", "BRENNAN: You have to regroup the tech team and start another search, this time focusing on secluded brush areas within 50 yards on either side of the tracks, where animal feeding sites would likely appear.", "CLARK: Actually, I'm more of a lab rat, Dr. Brennan. Perhaps somebody more outdoorsy would be better.", "BRENNAN: Clark, if there's spinal damage that corresponds to the compression fractures on the lung bones, we could have cause of death. I need those bones. You're the most qualified. (Clarks scratches his neck) Don't scratch your neck with the gloves.", "CLARK: (using a southern accent) Well, is it all right if I get a drink of water, boss? You know, uh, it's awful hot out there, and them tools is mighty heavy.", "BRENNAN: Of course you can get water. Why are you talking like that?", "CLARK: Never mind. I'm going.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Michelle shows up.)", "CAM: Michelle! What are you doing here?", "MICHELLE: We got out early for an assembly, so...", "CAM: Come in. Sit down.", "MICHELLE: Oh, thanks. (she sits) I was wondering. Have you had a chance to think about the dance?", "CAM: Michelle, are you having s*x?", "MICHELLE: Excuse me?", "CAM: It's no big deal. I just...Well, no, it is a big deal. It's a really, really big deal.", "MICHELLE: This is none of your business.", "CAM: It is. I'm your legal guardian, Michelle.", "MICHELLE: Oh, so you can just boss me around any way you want?", "CAM: No. I think I'm understanding, but s*x... s*x is...Well, when two people have s*x, when the body is secreting hormones...When men and women and s*x are...Some people believe that God will smite you. Just a thought.", "MICHELLE: You're not my mother.", "CAM: I know, Michelle. I love you, and I don't want to see you get hurt.", "MICHELLE: Your only job was keeping me out of foster care after my father died and you did that. So don't pretend there's anything more.", "CAM: Michelle...", "MICHELLE: I've got homework.", "(She grabs her backpack and walks out)", "CAM: Michelle...", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. A video of Levi playing the piano is playing on the screen. Booth is talking with his piano teacher, Eleanor Turner.)", "ELEANOR TURNER: That was only his third lesson. He was playing Handel by ear. I had to record it. I was so flabbergasted.", "(The song finishes and Booth takes the CD out of the computer)", "BOOTH: So, Mrs. Tuner, you said that, uh, Levi worked for your husband?", "ELEANOR: In construction, yes. Uh, Levi brought some receipts to our home - a couple years ago - and I was with a student, and she was practicing Fur Elise.", "BOOTH: Ah. Beethoven. I took a few piano lessons, but, you know, all thumbs, so couldn't quite work it out.", "(They both laugh)", "ELEANOR: Levi was fascinated, so I invited him to watch. And after my student left, I suggested Levi touch a few keys. Well, he was shy. But once he sat down, the boy was a natural.", "BOOTH: You started giving him lessons?", "ELEANOR: Mm-hmm. I never charged him. He was a prodigy.", "BOOTH: Mrs. Turner, during these secret lessons, did you notice if he was conflicted at all?", "ELEANOR: Oh, my, yes. I encouraged him to use his rumspringa to decide whether his love of music was strong enough for him to consider leaving his faith.", "BOOTH: Did you keep in contact with him?", "ELEANOR: For a while. Then I never heard from him anymore.", "(She reaches into her bag and pulls out another CD and hands it to Booth.)", "ELEANOR: This was the last thing Levi sent me. He wanted me to know that he had made friends. They were helping him to audition for the National Conservatory, and he seemed so excited.", "(Booth plays the video. Levi is sitting at a piano, at an apartment, playing Scott Joplin's \"Maple Leaf Rag\")", "ELEANOR: (voice shaking) It's just not fair that he's gone. (On the video, a girl is playing the piano with him) Such a gift.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. The video that Eleanor showed Booth and Brennan is playing.)", "BRENNAN: Okay, we know he was in D.C., but it would be helpful to have an area of town to focus on.", "ANGELA: Okay, I'll see if I can locate any distinctive architectural markers outside the windows.", "(On video) TONY: Okay, Karen, let's switch.", "(On video) KAREN: Hey, Tony, do the Mozart.", "(On video) TONY: Mozart?", "(On video) KAREN: Yeah.", "CAM: You can hear them call each other Karen and Tony.", "ANGELA: These are some talented kids.", "(On the video, Levi plays \"Mozart Violin Piano Sonata No. 21 in E Minor, K. 304 - 1st Movement\" while Tony plays violin.)", "ANGELA: These buildings have Queen Anne detail like a corbeled cornice. Most of the older neighborhoods have these. I'm going to need more.", "(song ends on video)", "(On video) TONY: Okay, Levi, do your audition piece.", "(On video) LEVI: Okay.", "ANGELA: : He's adorable.", "(Levi plays a song by Chopin. There's a distant sound of a train whistle blowing.)", "ANGELA: Did you hear that? That noise in the background? Maybe we don't need architectural markers.", "(Angela analyzes the audio on the screen)", "BRENNAN: The train.", "ANGELA: Architecturally, these buildings could be in one of six neighborhoods. But this building here is the only one that's right next to the train track. I'll triangulate the structures outside the windows and bingo, there's the apartment building.", "(Angela, Cam & Brennan continue to watch the video of Levi playing.)", "ANGELA: It's so sad.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth and Brennan play the video for them Karen Lin and Tony Salina, the people who were in the video with Levi.)", "BOOTH: So, that's, uh, your apartment in the video, isn't it?", "KAREN LIN: Levi lived in some party place. I had room. My building's not the greatest but it was better than where he was living.", "BOOTH: So, how did you two know Levi?", "TONY SALINA: It was about six months ago. Karen and I were walking by one of the practice rooms of the conservatory. We heard this piano; it was so beautiful. Levi, he'd snuck in to play. One thing just led to another, and we sort of adopted him.", "KAREN: I had this gold medal, not real gold, just something I'd won at a music competition when I was a kid. But to Levi, it was the most beautiful thing ever. So, I gave it to him for good luck. I guess it didn't work very well.", "BRENNAN: How come you didn't file a missing person's report when he disappeared?", "TONY: We just figured he'd changed his mind about the conservatory and gone back to his family.", "BOOTH: Why would you think that?", "KAREN: His dad had come to see him and probably convinced him to come home. Amish don't approve of playing music.", "BOOTH: Hold on. His dad was there?", "KAREN: A few days before Levi was supposed to audition, I went to the apartment and when I left, I saw a full-on Amish guy heading towards the building. And I tried to introduce myself, but he just ignored me. He seemed pretty pissed to be honest.", "(Cut to: The Yoder Residence - Outside in the barn.)", "MR. YODER: How dare you accuse me of harming my own son?!", "BOOTH: Mr. Yoder...", "MR. YODER: I would never raise a hand to my boy!", "BOOTH: Not even if your livelihood was at stake?", "BRENNAN: Levi was your only child. I-I can see the arthritis in your metacarpals and phalanges. You needed a son's help to keep this farm going.", "BOOTH: You found out about the audition, you and Levi fought, there was an accident.", "BRENNAN: You took his body to the tracks...", "MR. YODER: How can you say those things to me?! You think this farm is more important to me than my own son? He was my son!", "MRS. YODER: My husband hasn't left this farm in over two years. What are you talking about? What audition?", "BRENNAN: For the National Conservatory.", "MRS. YODER: A conservatory?", "BRENNAN: Your son was an extraordinarily gifted classical musician.", "MRS. YODER: No. There are no instruments here.", "BOOTH: I know, that's why your son had to sneak into town for lessons.", "MR. YODER: We would've known something like that.", "BRENNAN: Not if he knew you'd disapprove.", "MRS. YODER: So he ran away because he couldn't trust us?", "(Cut to: Booth's Car - Day. Booth and Brennan are driving back to FBI Headquarters)", "BOOTH: I don't believe he had anything to do with it.", "BRENNAN: What, your gut again?", "BOOTH: I'm a father; he's a father. Okay, it's something you just wouldn't understand.", "BRENNAN: Would you advise Parker that sexual intercourse at age 16 is a wise decision?", "BOOTH: What? How did you know that? Wait, what are we talking about?", "BRENNAN: Michelle. Cam is afraid Michelle is having s*x.", "BOOTH: Oh, no, that's not good.", "BRENNAN: Well, you just said that you were having s*x when you were 16!", "BOOTH: Mm-mmm, that's different.", "BRENNAN: Oh, so there's a double standard?", "BOOTH: Of course. You know what? Cam needs to shut that down. Finished.", "BRENNAN: I said that Michelle should wait until she's at least 17-and-a-half.", "BOOTH: Is that how old you were?", "BRENNAN: No, I was 22.", "BOOTH: Twenty-two?!", "BRENNAN: Well, don't..why do you sound shocked?", "BOOTH: No, it's just...That's a good age. Twenty-two?", "BRENNAN: It was an important decision. I gave it a lot of thought. I finally found a man who could provide a skillful introduction..", "BOOTH: Okay, you make it t sound ke it was a class that you took. All right, you know, the first time you should be in love. You know, totally \"goo-goo\" for the other person.", "BRENNAN: Were you when you were 16?", "BOOTH: Well, part of me was.", "BRENNAN: (she laughs) And if Michelle feels this way, do you think she should be having s*x?", "BOOTH: No, Michelle should not be having s*x until she's 22.", "(Booth's phone rings)", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "SWEETS: (on phone) Yeah, there's someone here to see you. She just spent hours on a bus by herself. Says she only wants to talk to you.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth and Brennan are talking with Sarah.)", "SARAH: Levi and I, we were in love. A few months before he left Lancaster, we started courting.", "BOOTH: Did you know why he was going to D.C.?", "SARAH: Music.I thought it was important he get it out of his system before we married.", "BOOTH: Did you stay in touch with him while he was in the city?", "SARAH: He wrote me letters. He talked about going to the conservatory. I began to worry I'd lost him. I shared my fears with my brother, Amos. I'm afraid now that was a mistake.", "BOOTH: Your brother, Amos, has a temper, doesn't he?", "SARAH: It's been a struggle for him.", "BOOTH: Did he get upset with you when you talked to him about Levi?", "SARAH: Yes. I told him how close we'd been.", "BRENNAN: Sexually?", "SARAH: No! Levi and I, we didn't do that. But I don't think Amos believed me. About two months ago, he left for the day. Said he had some business to do.", "BOOTH: Do you think he was going after Levi?", "SARAH: I'm not sure but shortly after that, Amos told me that I should try to forget about Levi. That he might never come back. And then when I didn't hear from Levi again, I just...", "(BRENNAN puts her hand on Sarah's wrist to comfort her.)", "BRENNAN: It's okay.", "SARAH: I love my brother. I hate to suspect him of something so awful but I had to tell someone.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Clark, Hodgins and Angela are in there when Cam enters.)", "CAM: Why are there two massive train wheels blocking the loading dock?", "CLARK: They're filled with dried, mangled body bits and bones. Dr. Brennan wants me to examine them for defensive wounds.", "CAM: Only she didn't ask you to bring in the whole train.", "ANGELA: We may have cause of death. Karen Lin's apartment is on the fourth floor of the building. Underneath the balcony in the alley is a Dumpster.", "HODGINS: Now, I swabbed the perimortem fractures on the victim's skull. I found a powder coating similar to the type used on industrial-strength Dumpsters.", "CLARK: I identified the perimortem ring fracture on the base of the skull as well as the corresponding damage on the top of the spinal column. Those injuries indicate that the victim fell from Karen Lin's balcony and then landed headfirst into the lid of the Dumpster, thereby severing his spine.", "HODGINS: FBI techs confirm that the Dumpster has a dent consistent with our scenario, as well as residue of dried blood on the steel, which matches Levi Yoder.", "CAM: Anything linking the assault to Karen Lin or her boyfriend?", "CAM: No. That's why I should start digging the remains out of the train wheels.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is talking to Sarah's brother, Amos.)", "AMOS: Levi abandoned my sister after courting her. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't try to intercede? I told him his rumspringa was over. That it was time to do the right thing and come home to Sarah.", "BOOTH: That's it?", "AMOS: He said that there was something pulling him away. He felt possessed.", "BOOTH: Music?", "AMOS: How could he leave my sister for something so frivolous?", "BOOTH: And you wanted to hit him.", "AMOS: I shook him. I grabbed him and I shook him and it was shameful. I apologized. Then he tried to explain. He played something for me. I never heard anything like it. It was called \"Clair de Lune\" and it sounded like a sunrise. Something that beautiful, I have to believe that it came from God.", "BOOTH: Hmm, and that's not what your religion says.", "AMOS: I cannot pretend to know what the Lord has planned for any of us. That's the greatest sin, you know? Speaking for God. I told Levi that I would make sure that Sarah was looked after.", "BOOTH: And that's it?", "AMOS: No. He was going to be my brother. I hugged him and then I left.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner - Day. Cam is sitting at the counter, eating, when Michelle enters.)", "MICHELLE: I didn't mean what I said. I know you care.", "CAM: Oh, it's okay. I... I handled things badly, I guess.", "MICHELLE: Can I sit?", "CAM: I think so. (she sits) Look, Michelle, I...This is all new to me, too. So, I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot.", "MICHELLE: My dad always wanted me to be independent. To think for myself, you know?", "CAM: And you talked to him about boys?", "MICHELLE: (laughing) Are you kidding? How weird would that be? Did you talk to your dad about boys?", "CAM: Oh, God, no. No, my mom told him to go bowling. She knew he'd have a meltdown. My dad still thinks I'm a...His little girl.", "MICHELLE: I didn't know. I never had a mom.", "CAM: So, you and Perry... ?", "MICHELLE: No. He wants to, but he's not pressuring me or anything...but I'm scared. Is that weird? I mean, it's just s*x, right? It's a a over the TV and everywhere.", "CAM: Whoa, there's no such thing as \"just s*x\", Michelle. Every time, you give a bit of yourself to the person you're with. So, it's okay to wait. As long as you want.", "MICHELLE: But I don't want to lose Perry.", "CAM: If Perry doesn't understand how you feel, he doesn't deserve you.", "MICHELLE: I wanted to talk to you. I really did. But I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me.", "CAM: Oh, Michelle. That's what I was afraid of, too.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Clark and Angela are on platform; Brennan joins them.)", "BRENNAN: Have you found anything pertinent on the bones you found in the wheels?", "CLARK: I'm still reassembling the fragments from the right foot, but the left arm and hand are all there.", "BRENNAN: (examines the bones) The fractures on these phalanges, there's barely discernible rounding along the edges. The fractures occurred before Levi was killed.", "CLARK: Whatever injured him was most likely a flat object with a straight edge.", "ANGELA: Wait, how much force would it take to do something like that?", "BRENNAN: Hmm, about 120 pounds per square inch.", "ANGELA: Hey, the keyboard lid could've exerted that much force. It could've happened when he was practicing at the conservatory.", "CLARK: So, someone breaks a piano player's hand a few days before his big audition.", "BRENNAN: There was only one place available at the conservatory. Tony was already in, but Levi was competing with Karen for the spot.", "ANGELA: Which means that she had motive to try to sabotage his audition. She accidentally injures him, hoping that he'll slink back to Amish Country.", "BRENNAN: And when that doesn't work, she kills him. Inference, not conjecture.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Booth and Brennan are coming down the stairs by Brennan's office.)", "BRENNAN: Agents have picked up Karen Lin and are bringing her to the FBI. I'll pack everything up.", "BOOTH: All right, I'll go get the car.", "(She heads into her office, Booth heads down the hall and smirks when he sees Perry waiting down the hall)", "BOOTH: Perry, right? Michelle's boyfriend?", "PERRY: Yes, sir, Perry Wilson. Michelle's with Cam. She told me to wait here.", "BOOTH: FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth PERRY: FBI?", "BOOTH: Michelle's, uh, family to me. I'm her number one uncle.", "PERRY: Really, sh-she didn't mention you...", "BOOTH: I'm also a trained sniper.", "PERRY: Okay, wow.", "BOOTH: Uh, Listen, Perry, all right. You're a red-blooded, young man and Michelle is, uh, an attractive young girl. So, I assume that you...", "PERRY: What? No! No, no.", "BOOTH: Because Michelle deserves your respect. You understand?", "PERRRY: I do. I do respect her. We were just gonna go to a movie tonight.", "BOOTH: Right, and if you behave any way less than a gentleman towards her, I'll find you. I think we understand each other, right?", "PERRY: Yes, sir.", "BOOTH: Michelle, hi! We were just talking about what you were doing tonight.", "MICHELLE: Yeah, we're going to the movies.", "PERRY: Just a movie. That's all, mo-vie.", "(Brennan joins them)", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones, um, you've met Perry, Michelle's boyfriend.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Nice to see you again. I heard about Princeton; you have a very bright future ahead of you.", "PERRY: I hope so.", "BOOTH: Me, too. You have fun tonight, okay?", "(Booth and Brennan leave.)", "PERRY: A sniper. Good man.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth, Brennan and Karen are watching the video of Levi playing the Mozart Violin Piano Sonata No. 21 in E Minor, K. 304 - 1st Movement)", "BOOTH: So, you were competing with Levi for a spot at the conservatory.", "KAREN: No, I wasn't. My grandfather used to be a dean, and I've been taking private lessons there since I was six. So, my admission had nothing to do with the audition process.", "BOOTH: Yet you were the only pianist in your class.", "KAREN: Yeah, because none of the other applicants were good enough to get in this year. Sure Levi would've gotten in. I mean, he was better than everyone. He was better than me.", "BRENNAN: Did you see Levi at the conservatory the day before he disappeared when his hand got smashed?", "KAREN: His hand? I-I have no idea wh...", "BOOTH: Someone crushed his hand, Karen. Didn't want him to audition. He died at your apartment. You were the last person to see him alive.", "KAREN: This is crazy! He wasn't even there the last time that I went. His stuff was there, but his money was gone.", "BOOTH: How do you know his money was gone?", "KAREN: Levi didn't trust banks, and I had this old rolltop desk with a secret drawer in it and that's where he kept his money and it was gone.", "BRENNAN: But his stuff was still there?", "KAREN: Yeah, I just, I figured that if his father made him come home, then he wanted to leave everything from this life behind.", "BOOTH: Guaranteeing you a place at the conservatory.", "KAREN: I was trying to help him get in! I picked his audition piece. I could never hurt Levi. I loved him.", "BOOTH: Loved him? Did your boyfriend know that? Right, maybe he just liked him out of the way.", "KAREN: Tony wasn't even around the weekend that Levi disappeared. You can ask his parents. He was at his grandma's funeral. I'm not gonna say anything else. I don't have to; I'm not saying anything.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform - Cam cut with FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth & Brennan are on the phone with Cam.)", "CAM: FBI techs found a grand piano at the conservatory with bits of dried flesh and blood inside the keyboard lid.", "BOOTH: What about the fingerprints?", "CAM: There were some partials on the lid directly above the spot where Levi's left hand was broken.", "BRENNAN: We still have Karen Lin in custody. We can get her prints for comparison.", "CAM: Don't need to, we already have a match. The prints are Levi's.", "BRENNAN: Levi broke his own hand?", "CAM: That's what the evidence says.", "BOOTH: Thanks, Cam.", "(He hangs up)", "BRENNAN: Levi broke his own hand? It's not logical.", "BOOTH: If Levi decided to move back to his family, he wanted to remove all temptations, so he wouldn't change his mind.", "BRENNAN: You-you seriously think that he was choosing his religion over his music?", "BOOTH: Or maybe it was just over this girl, Sarah. I mean, either way it makes sense.", "BRENNAN: No, it doesn't! To destroy a gift like that for a girl or religion, it's awful and it-it still doesn't give us a killer.", "BOOTH: Wait a minute. Money, what about the money? What if this was all about the money?", "BRENNAN: What money?", "BOOTH: The money. Levi's cash; we never found. The cash and that fake gold medal that Karen supposedly gave him. Did that ever show up?", "BRENNAN: Not yet, no.", "BOOTH: The cash. What if this was all about the money? Come on, Bones.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Voiceover over montage of Booth bringing the thief to the interrogation room)", "BOOTH; He was a petty thief. We arrested him in Baltimore. Seven other residents in Karen Lin's building reported missing items right around the time that Levi died. Jewelry, silverware, cash.", "(Fade into: Medico Legal Lab - Booth and Brennan are seated in the lounge area)", "BRENNAN: So, it was just a robbery.", "BOOTH: Well, the thief was some stupid kid who hocked a bunch of stolen items about a month ago.", "(Flashback to Booth talking to the thief in the interrogation room at FBI Headquarters. He signs a confession.)", "BOOTH: He also tried pawning the gold medal. He didn't know it was fake. The kid said that's what Levi was fighting for when he fell over the railing.", "BRENNAN: Levi was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. (Fade back to lounge) Guess that will certainly justify his parents removing themselves from the world.", "BOOTH: Can't blame them now.", "BRENNAN: But what Levi discovered; the gift he had. Would their God really want them to deny their son that?", "(Cut to: Yoder Residence. Booth, Brennan, Daniel and Rebecca are seated around a table inside the house.)", "BOOTH: Levi planned to return. We thought it was important that you knew that.", "BRENNAN: He considered life outside the community, but he wanted to come home.", "BOOTH: We brought you something.", "(Brennan pulls out a portable DVD player)", "MR. YODER: I'm sorry, but we can't accept that.", "BRENNAN: In this case, I think God will understand.", "(Brennan plays the video for Levi's parents)", "(On video) KAREN: Levi, if you want to get into the conservatory, you have to learn to perform. You're amazing!", "MR. YODER: Our son.", "(On the video, Levi is playing a song by Chopin.)", "MRS. YODER: It's so beautiful.", "(The end montage cuts between Mr & Mrs. Yoder watching the video in amazement and sadness, Levi, happy and alive, playing in real time and Booth and Brennan outside the house on the porch knowing that even though they solved the case, the conclusion is bittersweet.)", "END." ]

[ "The team investigates the remains that were found in a barbecue pit during a suburban neighborhood block party, leading to several secrets about the residents in the neighborhood being exposed. Iranian intern Arastoo confesses to everyone that he has been faking his accent and explains why he did so. Booth's son Parker seems concerned that his dad does not have a girlfriend." ]

[ "\"The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open on: Ext. Verbena Court a suburban cul-de-sac. A luau street party is underway, tables are laid out in the street, banners and streamer are hung up. People dressed up in Hawaiian clothes and flower garlands are carrying plates of food and drinking cocktails. Children are playing.).", "Woman's voice (off screen): Everybody, I've got fresh pineapples!", "(The SAYLES family BOB, PAIGE and MARY KAY stand with neighbor NATE GRUNENFELDER. BOB grabs one of NATE's coconut boobs)", "NATE: Aargh, back off, sailor.", "PAIGE: Grabbing the gay guy's coconut boob - real cool, Dad. (She walks away)", "BOB: Your old man is cool. Right, Nate?", "NATE: Massively cool, Bob. You're a glacier.", "MARY KAY: Aren't any of these nonalcoholic?", "BOB: You know, it would do you some good to have a couple drinks, loosen up a little. (We follow NATE as he moves to a new group: his boyfriend JAMES PERRY, and neighbors ELLIOT and PAULA LINDBERGH. NATE hands PAULA a drink.)", "ELLIOT: All due respect, James, I don't even understand why gays even want to get married.", "PAULA: Elliot! For the same reason we do, family, kids, the American Dream.", "JAMES: Exactly. (Puts his arm around Nate) Thank you Paula.", "ELLIOT: Our house has been on the market for ten months. Nobody wants the American Dream anymore.", "PAULA: Elliot, you're gonna love the 'burbs once we have a couple kids.", "(Popping sounds like firecrackers are heard.)", "Voice (off screen): Ooooh, what's goin' on?", "JAMES: That's coming from the luau pit.", "BOB: Hey, Trey, what's that noise?", "MARY KAY: For God's sake, Bob, he's a gardener, not a servant. (Everyone gathers round the luau pit).", "BOB: He works for the Homeowner's Association, which means he works for us. Am I wrong?", "ELLIOT: Maybe the, uh, pig's eyeballs explode when it's done.", "NATE: It shouldn't be done for a couple more hours.", "JAMES: We should check and make sure it's not burning.", "NATE: Yeah, all right... stand back. (TREY removes the sacking covering the pig. JAMES and NATE lift the pig from the pit).", "BOB: Hey piggy piggy, look out, get back. This is kosher, right? Aw, yeah.", "PAULA: Elliot, will you get the meat thermometer?", "ELLIOT: (looking into the pit) Oh my god.", "PAULA: What, hon? (The group moves away from the pig to look in the pit, a burned skull is visible among the embers, shocked gasps are heard).", "BOB: Is that a person? That's a person!", "Voice (off screen): He's been cooked!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian, Int. Medical-Legal Lab. The foyer. CAM and BRENNAN dressed in fieldwork overalls walk into foyer to see BOOTH stood waiting for them).", "CAM: Why are you standing there like a security guard? (PARKER steps out from behind BOOTH). Parker, hey!", "PARKER: Hi!", "BRENNAN: (To PARKER). The remains we've been called to examine were apparently barbecued. Would you like to see?", "PARKER: Totally!", "BOOTH: No, no, no. A person did not get barbecued. Did they, Dr. Brennan?", "BRENNAN: Yes. In a luau pit, which is why I'm surprised you'd bring Parker along.", "BOOTH: No, I-Rebecca and her boyfriend won a night at the Greenbrier, so little kid's with me. I got him.", "PARKER: Let's go see the cooked person!", "BOOTH: Geez, you know our deal.", "BRENNAN: Well, what's your deal?", "PARKER: We're not allowed to talk about the bad parts of Dad's work until I have armpit hair.", "BOOTH: You don't have any armpit hair last time I checked. Not for a long time, kid. (ANGELA appears in the background.)", "CAM: Angela, would you mind...?", "ANGELA: Oh, no, sure. I get the situation here. You're with me, Parker.", "PARKER: I want to see the barbecued body.", "ANGELA: Well, I agree that does sound awesome, but I have face paints that your dad will never be able to get off, no matter how hard he scrubs. They're basically tattoos.", "PARKER: Okay, I'm with you.", "BOOTH: You have a good time, all right? (BOOTH hugs PARKER). I'll come pick you up in a little bit, all right? (CAM and BRENNAN walk to the exit). Have fun--fun with the face paints, kid. (To ANGELA) Hey, that's not true about the face paint, is it?", "ANGELA: You're with me, Baby Booth.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Ext. Verbena Court. FBI crime scene tape is set up around the cul-de-sac. An FBI technician is taking photos. BOOTHS car arrives at Verbena Court; BRENNAN, BOOTH and CAM exit the car and walk to the crime scene. We see the party goers are still at the scene).", "BRENNAN: Ethnographic studies of the suburbs indicate a cultural impulsion toward overt displays of status. Of course, this competitive paradigm can often result in aggression and violence. (They duck under the FBI tape and approach the luau pit).", "CAM: There was this guy on my street who cut his lawn on the diagonal. The neighbors got angry. Someone set his garage on fire.", "BOOTH: Oh, I mean, yards, sidewalks, you know, clean streets, birds flying by. (CAM and BRENNAN put on gloves).", "CAM: A dead body in the barbecue pit.", "BOOTH: Oh. Okay, you know what, I'm gonna go talk to the neighbors, to see if anyone who cut their lawn diagonally is missing.", "BRENNAN: I think those are reflective lenses that have fused into the supra-orbital margin. (She climbs down into the pit).", "(Cut to: BOOTH interviewing NATE and JAMES in the street)", "JAMES: Nate and I moved to Verbena Court about six months ago.", "NATE: The luau pit came with the house.", "JAMES: We installed a lockable cover. We don't want kids falling in. We're good neighbors.", "BOOTH: Who has a key?", "NATE: Uh, just us. And there's one with the Neighborhood Watch.", "BOOTH: Okay, uh, who put the pig in the pit?", "JAMES: Me, Nate and Trey at 9 o'clock this morning.", "BOOTH: Trey?", "NATE: Uh, Trey Jordan. (He indicates towards TREY JORDAN who is standing across the street). He's the gardener slash handyman for the Homeowner's Association. (JAMES stares over at where TREY is standing) Stop staring at him, James.", "JAMES: You were just talking about him...", "BOOTH: Guys, guys. When you put the pig in...", "JAMES: We didn't notice anything down there but hot coals.", "(Cut to: CAM and BRENNAN in the luau pit.)", "CAM: (Holding electronic thermometer). 48 degrees Celsius. That's, what, an hour after they drenched everything with a garden hose?", "BRENNAN: Wish they hadn't done that.", "CAM: Well, it's human nature, Dr. Brennan. You see someone on fire, you put 'em out.", "BRENNAN: Prominent brow points to a male. Wear on his mandibular teeth puts his age at about 30 to 35. We should remove the remains and then let Hodgins get down here. (BRENNAN removes sunglasses from the skull and places them in an evidence bag CAM is holding.)", "(Cut to: BOOTH interviewing TREY, PAIGE, BOB and MARY KAY. They are stood in a line against a car facing BOOTH who is pacing.)", "BOB: We have the luau every year.", "MARY KAY: The pit was dug maybe... Four years ago. July. Same time we planted our hydrangeas. That reminds me, we should spray.", "BOB: Yeah, we all helped with the pit. It's, uh, four feet deep and lined with brick; you burn the wood to embers.", "PAIGE: You cheat with charcoal.", "MARY KAY: Don't call your dad a cheater, Paige.", "BOB: Anyway, tons of embers going, then you throw down a layer of wet burlap, then wet leaves, then wet burlap, chicken wire, then you lower the pig in and voila.", "BOOTH: Yeah, you're forgetting one thing there.", "BOB: I don't think so. Burlap, leaves...", "PAIGE: He means the dead guy under the pig, Dad.", "BOOTH: Smart one in the family there. So, what made you crack open the pit early?", "MARY KAY: We heard little explosions, like fireworks going off.", "BRENNAN: (Approaching the group). We found these in the pit. (She holds up the evidence bag containing the sunglasses).", "BOOTH: Reflective aviators.", "TREY: Those look like Mr. Bessette's glasses.", "PAIGE: Oh, my God.", "MARY KAY: That's Kurt?", "PAIGE: You must be mistaken.", "BOB: (Raises his voice) Hey, everybody, looks like it was Kurt. (There are gasps of shock and surprise from the neighbors)", "BOOTH: Who's Kurt?", "PAIGE: He and his wife live over there. (She indicates a house across the street)", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN turn to look at the house, they see a woman - KELLY BESSETTE - through the window, she sees them looking and abruptly closes the blinds.)", "BOOTH: That was creepy.", "BRENNAN: I warned you about the suburbs.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Titles)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building - The conference room. SWEETS sits with KELLY BESSETTE at the table)", "KELLY BESSETTE: And you're certain it's Kurt?", "SWEETS: I'm afraid so, Ms. Bessette. His teeth match the X-rays your dentist provided.", "KELLY BESSETTE: Well, I already told the FBI guy and the scary lady everything I know, so I don't know what...", "SWEETS: You mentioned that you and your husband didn't really fit in with the neighborhood.", "KELLY BESSETTE: Uh, yeah. Uh, Kurt put up a solar panel and a wind turbine, and it made everybody mad. They thought they were pretty ugly. They said they ruined the neighborhood, you know. But he just wanted to save the planet. There's nothing wrong with that, right?", "SWEETS: No, it's quite a noble cause.", "KELLY BESSETTE: But it can kind of rub people the wrong way sometimes. When the gay couple's dog peed on the wind turbine, Kurt gave the dog a laxative that nearly killed him. (She laughs).", "SWEETS: Oh. Well, that... that's not quite so noble.", "KELLY BESSETTE: (She becomes serious). Neighbors don't forget a thing like that. We got shunned.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian Int. Medical-Legal Lab - The autopsy room. CAM and ARASTOO work on the remains. HODGINS is visible on a large screen; he is at the crime scene)", "HODGINS: Found out what caused the mini explosions.", "CAM: Would it have anything to do with the pebbles embedded in the remains?", "HODGINS: If by pebbles, you mean the rudaceous sedimentary stratified clast fragments, then yes. (Cut to: HODGINS at the crime scene). Now, based on the amount of pyrites, I'd estimate the porosity at approximately 25%. (Cut to: The lab. HODGINS continues via screen). That's ideal for moisture saturation.", "ARASTOO: Meaning the pebbles exploded when they got hot.", "HODGINS: The pebbles, as you so quaintly call them, were all found on the same strata as the human remains. Most likely dragged from the murder site.", "CAM: Which explains why they were embedded in the remains. (Cut to: The crime scene)", "HODGINS: Yeah. All consistent in size and color. (Cut to: The lab)", "ARASTOO: Decorative, perhaps? (Cut to: The crime scene. HODGINS spots decorative gravel around the base of KURT BESSETTE's wind turbine.)", "HODGINS: I'll call you back. (Cut to: The lab. HODGINS disappears from the screen).", "ARASTOO: These bones are not human.", "CAM: I assume they're pig.", "ARASTOO: (An alarm on his watch sounds).Yes. (He checks his watch).", "CAM: Time for prayers?", "ARASTOO: Yes, but I have a couple of minutes.", "CAM: Oh, I'm sorry.", "ARASTOO: Why?", "CAM: As a Muslim, I imagine you consider this work unclean.", "ARASTOO: Yes, well, as a Christian, I imagine you feel the same way. Four femurs, twelve phalanges, dozens of teeth, twelve canines.", "CAM: Luau custom says throw the pig bones back in the pit. Sorry, sorry. Pig bones. God.", "ARASTOO: I'm fine, Dr. Saroyan. Perhaps the killer assumed his victim's remains would never be noticed amongst the pig bones.", "CAM: Really, Arastoo, there's no reason for you to...", "ARASTOO: I appreciate your concern, but I am fine.", "CAM: No, really, most of us aren't devout here, and I respect your religion.", "ARASTOO: \"He hath forbidden you the flesh of swine,\" but if one is forced by necessity, \"without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then is he guiltless.\"", "CAM: Point is, you shouldn't feel forced...", "ARASTOO: (Angrily in an American accent) I'm a scientist, okay? Just like the rest of you. I can deal. So please just back off and let me do my job like anyone else.", "CAM: Wow.", "ARASTOO: (Reverting to fake foreign accent) I apologize for my outburst.", "CAM: Oh, you aren't even gonna try to un-ring that bell, are you? (ARASTOOS alarm sounds again).", "ARASTOO: I have to pray (he exits).", "(A phone rings, CAM answers on speakerphone).", "CAM: Saroyan.", "(Cut to: The crime scene. HODGINS is stood by the wind turbine in the BESSETTE's yard)", "HODGINS: I found the rudaceous sedimentary stratified clast fragment mother lode. (Cut to: The lab).", "CAM: Uh, yeah, any signs of a struggle in the pebbles?", "HODGINS: No... (Cut to: The crime scene. HODGINS crouches by the wind turbine and dislodges some of the stones with his hands. He uncovers blood). Um, I call do-over. They're covered in blood. Lots of blood.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to The Jeffersonian. Int. Medical-Legal Lab - ANGELA's office. ANGELA is painting PARKERS face).", "PARKER: My friend's dad just got a new girlfriend. He goes with his dad to her place all the time to swim.", "ANGELA: Oh, so he likes her. Well, that's good.", "PARKER: Do you have a boyfriend?", "ANGELA: No, I'm on a celibacy kick. It's been five months and nine days, which in celibacy time is 400 years.", "PARKER: What does celibacy mean?", "ANGELA: It's, um... I don't have a boyfriend, no.", "PARKER: How about my dad?", "ANGELA: I don't think he has a boyfriend either.", "PARKER: No, he really, really needs a girlfriend. Really.", "ANGELA: Why?", "PARKER: To s*x up.", "ANGELA: That's very succinctly put.", "PARKER: Could Dad s*x you up?", "ANGELA: Don't think I haven't considered that, but I'm sort of on the sidelines for now. But thank you for thinking of me. Okay. Ready?", "PARKER: Mm-hmm. (She holds up a mirror).", "ANGELA: Done.", "PARKER: Cool. How'd you do that?", "ANGELA: I'm good. (They high 5).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. BOOTH's car, BOOTH is driving BRENNAN is in the passenger seat)", "BRENNAN: (Into speakerphone). How much blood did Hodgins find? (Cut to: Int. Medical-Legal lab. Cam is walking through lab talking on a mobile phone)", "CAM: Plenty. He estimates a fatal amount. (Cut to: BOOTH's car)", "BOOTH: Can you compare the blood to the cooked guy and see if it's his? (Cut to: The lab)", "CAM: He's pretty cooked, but we'll try. Hodgins also ID'd morning glory pollen between the victim's eyeballs and his sunglasses. (Cut to: BOOTH's car)", "BRENNAN: How is that relevant?", "CAM: (voice over speakerphone) He said morning glories only bloom after sunup. (Cut to: The lab) Sunrise was 5:47 a.m., so we're close to a time of death. Were you guys aware that Arastoo doesn't really have an accent? (Cut to: BOOTH's car).", "BOOTH: Yeah, he does. Yeah, it's thicker than Achmed the rug merchant. (Whispering to BRENNAN). Was that racist? It sounded racist. (Cut to: The lab).", "BRENNAN: (voice over phone) I knew that despite the fact that Arastoo said he was Iranian, (Cut to: BOOTH's car) his accent was Jordanian. (Cut to: The lab).", "CAM: (She stops walking). Don't you find it odd that he was faking an Arab accent of any kind? (Cut to: BOOTH's car).", "BRENNAN: Iranian isn't actually Arab.", "BOOTH: What? It... Bones, it's weird!", "BRENNAN: Now how is it any more odd than, say, shaving your face or putting on makeup? (Cut to: The lab)", "CAM: I'm not hanging up because I don't have an answer to that, I'm just hanging up. (Cut to: BOOTH's car).", "BRENNAN: But...I had questions about the morning glories. (BOOTH's car arrives at Verbena Court).", "(Cut to: Ext. Verbena Court. BOOTH and BRENNAN are stood interviewing JAMES and NATE on the street).", "BOOTH: So, we understand that you and the deceased had an altercation over your dog?", "NATE: You think that we cooked him because he poisoned our dog?", "JAMES: Kurt did not poison our dog.", "NATE: Yes, he did. Rocky peed on his stupid windmill, so then he gave our dog chocolate laxatives. Dogs don't react to that the way people do.", "BRENNAN: It's very difficult to overdose on laxatives. All that will happen is...", "JAMES: Rocky died from cancer.", "NATE: Maybe. We'll never know because someone wouldn't pay for a doggy autopsy.", "JAMES: Oh, my God. You won't let that go, even though the FBI thinks that we killed Kurt for poisoning our dog. We don't think that he poisoned our dog.", "BRENNAN: W... he does.", "NATE: Now that I think about it...Rocky totally died of cancer.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian. Int. Medical-Legal lab - The bone room. CAM and ARASTOO look at the victims cleaned bones which are laid out on a light table).", "CAM: Can you see anything that would explain copious blood loss?", "ARASTOO: (Using fake accent). Not so far. As you can see, here and here...", "CAM: Can it, bub. It's just you and me here.", "ARASTOO: (Using his American accent). This mark here on the scapula suggests a puncture wound.", "CAM: And it's barely a poke, right?", "ARASTOO: It would've been painful, but no way it kills the guy. Here we see a bone laceration on the victim's proximal humerus adjacent to the greater tubercle.", "Staining suggests that the injury occurred before he died.", "CAM: Is that bone splintering?", "ARASTOO: Yes, micro-fragments. I believe the laceration's the result of a blow from a reciprocating-type weapon.", "CAM: Like?", "ARASTOO: A saw. I asked Dr. Hodgins to swab for particulates that may have been transferred from the blade.", "CAM: (She calls up images of the injury sites on a screen) Here... is the stab wound. And the laceration from the saw. Neither blow's anywhere near a major vein or artery.", "ARASTOO: Neither blow explains the amount of blood on the pebbles. (HODGINS enters)", "HODGINS: I ran a metal detector through all the crap we found at the bottom of the pit.", "CAM: Crap?!", "HODGINS: Yeah, technical term. (He holds up an evidence bag).", "CAM: Bullet. Is that a .44 caliber?", "HODGINS: Yep.", "ARASTOO: (Reverting to fake accent). This seems to suggest, rather convincingly, The reason for all the blood. (CAM gives him an incredulous look).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian. Int. Medical-Legal lab - ANGELA's office. PARKER is playing a video game, BOOTH and ANGELA stand talking.)", "BOOTH: Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second. You and Parker discussed my s*x life?", "ANGELA: Well, we discussed your lack of s*x life.", "BOOTH: Angela, neither you nor him, especially him, know anything about my s*x life.", "ANGELA: Well, he knows that daddy ain't getting any, and he's concerned. He thinks you need a girlfriend... to have s*x.", "BOOTH: He said that?", "ANGELA: Well, his exact words were, \"To s*x up.\" I think you need to talk to him honestly about your love life.", "BOOTH: You kidding me? No offense, but I'm not talking about... (CAM enters).", "CAM: Hey...", "BOOTH: What?", "CAM: Want to run our friendly neighborhood suburbanites through the National Gun Permit Database, see if any of them own a .44? Hodgins found that in the pit. (She hands BOOTH the bagged bullet).", "PARKER: Hi, Dr. Saroyan. Do you have a boyfriend?", "ANGELA: See? This is exactly how it started with me. (CAM looks puzzled and amused).", "BOOTH: (Walking to PARKER). Come on. Let's go. Come on. I gotta get you back home, or your mom's gonna kill me, all right? (They turn to leave - he looks at PARKER's painted face). Let me see this stuff. (To ANGELA). Does this stuff come off?", "ANGELA: Oh, seriously. That's your big worry right now?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Hoover Building. Int. interrogation room. ELLIOT sits at the table)", "ELLIOT: I hate Verbena Court. Every last thing about it. It's artificial, (we see BOOTH stood opposite him), soulless... that's why I'm trying to sell out. It's ennui, Agent Booth, do you understand that?", "BOOTH: Looks kind of nice to me. It's good for kids.", "ELLIOT: They call it a cul-de-sac, but what it is is a dead end.", "BOOTH: So why'd you move there in the first place?", "ELLIOT: Wife wants kids; kids want lawns. I got snookered in the math. (We hear a knock at the door. An AGENT enters).", "AGENT: (To BOOTH). Here you go. (The AGENT hands BOOTH a tagged gun and lays an evidence bag on the table).", "BOOTH: (To ELLIOT). Right. (To AGENT). Thanks. (AGENT exits) Snookered enough, uh...to snap? (He lays the gun down in front of ELLIOT and picks up the evidence bag).", "ELLIOT: So I own a handgun. So what? I have a license, it's registered.", "BOOTH: (Showing ELLIOT the bagged bullet). We found this bullet in the pit with Bessette's body. We checked out his bank records. You wired $5000, into his account last month? (BOOTH sits).", "ELLIOT: Verbena Court was built with a limited amount of phone lines. Bessette bought them all. I wanted to put in a second line.", "BOOTH: Your neighbor charged you $5000, for a phone line?", "ELLIOT: Yup. Then he spent the five grand on putting up the damn windmill.", "BOOTH: Okay, so he rips you off for five grand, you snap and you shoot him.", "ELLIOT: No. I should've shot him. It wasn't Kurt I shot, though. I shot the pig. The luau pig.", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "ELLIOT: Bob Sayles and I found a farm in North Carolina and paid to hunt our own pig.", "BOOTH: With a handgun?", "ELLIOT: I'll give you the name of the farm. Porky walked right up to us. I popped him one between the eyes. I barfed, Bob cried. (He Chuckles). Suburban hunters. That's an oxymoron, my friend. It's an oxymoron.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building - SWEETS' office. SWEETS sits reading. CAM enters without knocking).", "SWEETS: No, no, no, no, you can't just walk in here... (She sits across from him).", "CAM: Arastoo Vaziri, our Muslim intern - he's been faking his accent. At first I go where everyone else goes, you know - terrorist.", "SWEETS: Wouldn't a terrorist fake not having an accent?", "CAM: Is it crazy or just weird? Weird, I can deal with, but crazy... (She stands and moves to leave).", "SWEETS: Wait. What do you want me to do?", "CAM: Oh, crazy is your department. (She exits).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Hoover Building Int. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter a corridor and continue walking).", "BRENNAN: They went to a farm and shot an innocent pig in the head?", "BOOTH: Look, it's not a Federal offense, Bones. There's nothing we can do about it now, okay? So let's just focus on the murdered human.", "BRENNAN: Oh, Okay. So far... we have a nick on the scapula, suggesting stabbing and splintering on the humerus, which suggests sawing. But neither explains bleeding out.", "BOOTH: Well, Sweets says he has something he'd like to share with us in the conference room.", "BRENNAN: Why does he have to say \"share\"? Why can't he just say \"show\"?", "BOOTH: Shhh, just... (They enter the conference room to see SWEETS resting against a chair. As they enter SWEETS rises). What do you have?", "SWEETS: Hey. Hey. (He indicates a large pin board covered with pictures of Verbena Court and its residents). Suburbanites tend to put too much emphasis on their outward accomplishments. Now, this creates a sense of detachment. (Booth sits on the table).", "BOOTH: Ennui.", "SWEETS: Very insightful.", "BOOTH: That's right.", "SWEETS: All right. The inherent uniformity and shared ideals of a planned community suggest that the neighborhood can be psychologically analyzed as a single, dysfunctional personality.", "BRENNAN: You mean you can look at it anthropologically?", "SWEETS: Really? You're gonna shanghai my whole discipline?", "BRENNAN: You're tapping into what anthropologists call \"lines of influence, dominance and suasion.\"", "BOOTH: Go on, Sweets. (To BRENNAN) Just let him go on.", "SWEETS: So we can look at the community as a single dysfunctional personality, dealing with sexual infidelity, indebtedness, resentment...", "BRENNAN: That's what I just said.", "BOOTH: Both of you-- it's murder, okay? We're either dealing with money or s*x here.", "SWEETS: Yeah, that's what I just said. And this is where psychology can provide an insight that anthropology cannot.", "BRENNAN: I doubt that.", "SWEETS: Well, suburbanites, uh... will not only lie to outsiders, they'll lie to each other and to themselves.", "BRENNAN: What Sweets means is that societal norms endemic to the suburban acculturation dichotomize exterior postures and clandestine protocols. (BOOTH looks pained).", "BOOTH: Just give me one thing that's gonna help me catch the murderer--just one thing.", "SWEETS: All right, deal with these people as separate elements of one big collective personality. Identify the threat that Kurt Bessette posed to their psychological equanimity, and the killer will emerge.", "BRENNAN: (Surprised). I agree.", "BOOTH: Doesn't help me one bit. (He gets up and walks out BRENNAN and SWEETS follow).", "SWEETS: Why?", "BOOTH: (To BRENNAN). You seriously believe all that hoo-ha?", "BRENNAN: Well, it's anthropology, so, yes.", "SWEETS: Wrong \"ology.\" Keep your grubby anthro hands off my psych.", "BOOTH: Listen, Bones, I'll meet you down in the car in five minutes, okay? (He pulls SWEETS towards his office)", "SWEETS: What? (BRENNAN exits).", "BOOTH: Five minutes.", "SWEETS: What? (They enter BOOTH's office and BOOTH closes the door).", "BOOTH: Okay, look... Parker has been asking all the women that I work with to be my girlfriend.", "SWEETS: Well, the women you work with are beautiful.", "BOOTH: Don't turn this into a conversation about s*x, okay? My kid is eight years old here.", "SWEETS: Parker's pre-adolescent, but he's very concerned with s*x.", "BOOTH: What he's concerned about are shoes with wheels on 'em.", "SWEETS: There are five stages of psychosexual development: oral, a**l...", "BOOTH: Whoa! (BOOTH moves around his desk, SWEETS follows).", "SWEETS: ...phallic latent and genital. Now Parker's transitioning from latent to genital. At the genital stage, he's learning to identify with his gender parent. That's you. He's looking at you to see his sexual future.", "BOOTH: How do I get him to stop?", "SWEETS: My advice is to let him see you interact with a woman.", "BOOTH: Easy!", "SWEETS: No, not sexually. Socially. Show him you're comfortable with women so he can learn to be the same way.", "BOOTH: Okay. (He turns to leave).", "SWEETS: Okay? Just like that? You're taking my advice?", "BOOTH: No, I just don't want to talk to you about it anymore. (He exits. SWEETS moves to sit in BOOTH's chair).", "SWEETS: Wait. This isn't my office.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Ext. Verbena Court. BOOTH is stood in the street. He is making notes entitled Motives and Alibis. We see him observe PAULA handing TREY a drink in her garden, JAMES and NATE potting a plant and BOB polishing his car while PAIGE sunbathes. BRENNAN approaches BOOTH).", "BRENNAN: What are you doing? (He hands her a sheet of paper, she reads from it) \"Alibis.\" Hmm, it's very organized. (She continues reading). \"At the time of the murder, Mary Kay Sayles (BOOTH recites with her) was biking with James Perry and Elliot Lindbergh.\"", "BOOTH: I'm thinking gay guy and 'burb hater are out biking with church lady.", "BRENNAN: Oh, so you're thinking they're a sexual threesome?", "BOOTH: What? Wow. No. I was just thinking that one of these cyclists was having s*x with Kurt Bessette.", "BRENNAN: Oh. So we should find out where churchy lady's husband and gay guy's boyfriend and 'burb hater's wife were at that time.", "BOOTH: Hey, if this turns out to be some suburban-key-party-threesome-revenge-slaying, (A car arrives) it's gonna get complicated and I'm gonna get... (HODGINS exits the car and approaches them).", "HODGINS: Hey, so I finally got through the particulates left behind by the saw. Three different organic remnants on the cut: a hooked thorn from the Bougainvillea glabra, a haw from a hybrid Crataegus monogyna and nectar from a Syringa protolaciniata. (He indicates three front yards). Each plant was from a different yard.", "BRENNAN: But all on the same reciprocating saw.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Really, like that one that Casanova gardener boy is using? (They watch as TREY uses a reciprocating saw to prune a bush).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Hoover Building Int. interrogation room. BRENNAN sits across from TREY, BOOTH stands)", "BOOTH: So, my question is, did you kill Kurt Bessette on your own volition or did his wife talk you into it?", "TREY: What?", "BRENNAN: Bessette was attacked with your hedge trimmer.", "BOOTH: Come on. Young hot suburban gardener, bored suburban housewives.", "BRENNAN: You're an ethnological trope.", "TREY: What?", "BOOTH: Come on, Trey. Iced tea is not the only perk here, is it?", "TREY: Look, I had nothing going with Kurt Bessette's wife.", "BOOTH: Let me make this a little easier for you, shall we? Ah...(BOOTH lays pictures of PAULA LINDBERGH, PAIGE SAYLES, MARY KAY SAYLES and KELLY BESSETTE on the table in front of TREY.) Which one of these people did you have something going with?", "TREY: (Hesitates then touches the picture of PAIGE). Paige Sayles.", "BRENNAN: Huh. The church lady's daughter.", "TREY: She's 18, she's legal...and, plus, it was her idea.", "BOOTH: And? (TREY smiles and turns the picture of PAULA so it faces BOOTH and BRENNAN).", "BRENNAN: Paula Lindbergh-- I think she was trying to get pregnant so her husband would stay in the suburbs.", "BOOTH: So, you mind being used as a stud horse?", "TREY: Would you?", "BOOTH: Do these women know about each other?", "TREY: Not from me.", "BOOTH: Then from who?", "TREY: Mr. Bessette caught me and Mrs. Lindbergh sloshing up her hot tub.", "BRENNAN: Where were you between the hours of 5:00 am and 8:00 am the morning of the luau?", "TREY: I've got a girlfriend. I mean, back in my neighborhood. A real one who I love. I was with her.", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building. A corridor. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter through a door).", "BOOTH: Wow. That cul-de-sac is like a s*x camp.", "BRENNAN: What? There's a s*x camp?", "BOOTH: No, no, no - listen, what were your anthropological lines again?", "BRENNAN: Influence, dominance and suasion.", "BOOTH: Okay, look, we both know that the murder victim wasn't above shaking someone down for a phone line, so maybe he finds out that Paula Lindbergh is trying to make babies with the gardener; he puts the squeeze on her, she kills him and Casanova gardener boy helps out.", "BRENNAN: That definitely fits the paradigm.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Verbena Court Int. the LINDBERGH home. PAULA is sat in her sitting room).", "PAULA: I was afraid this would come up when I heard you took Trey in for questioning. (We see BOOTH and BRENNAN sitting on the couch opposite).", "BOOTH: You were right. So start talking.", "PAULA: I should never have made Elliot move to the suburbs. In a way, I emasculated him.", "BRENNAN: (To BOOTH). Oh, God. She's a therapist. She talks like a therapist.", "PAULA: What? You remove a man from an environment where he flourishes to a place where he feels impotent, he actually becomes impotent.", "BOOTH: Look, if you wanted a baby so bad, why didn't you just move back to the city?", "PAULA: We owe more on this house than it's worth. And even if Elliot could sell it, we're stuck financially.", "BRENNAN: What happened when Kurt Bessette found you with the gardener?", "PAULA: Nothing. He smirked.", "BOOTH: Did Kurt threaten to tell your husband or blackmail you?", "PAULA: Oh, no. He wouldn't dare.", "BRENNAN: Why not?", "PAULA: Wait, you think that Kurt told my husband about the gardener, and so Elliot killed him? Elliot puked when he shot a pig. Please.", "BRENNAN: Interlocking lines of suasion between members of the collective result in multiple duplicities.", "PAULA: Oh, my God. She's an anthropologist. She talks like an anthropologist.", "BOOTH: Just answer the question.", "BRENNAN: Why wouldn't Kurt Bessette dare tell your husband about the gardener?", "PAULA: I'm a trained therapist. I looked at Kurt and Paige talking on the street. I knew immediately that their relationship was clandestine. Probably sexual. Kurt Bessette was sleeping with that 18 year old girl. I used that knowledge to ask for our five grand back for the phone. Kurt wouldn't have agreed if it weren't true. If I were you, I'd be looking at Paige's father for this murder, not my Elliot.", "PAIGE: (Voice off screen) Hey, Dad! (Through the window BOOTH and BRENNAN see PAIGE approach BOB outside, he sprays her with his hose, she squeals). I'm going to kill you!", "BOB: That never gets old.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Verbena Court Int. the SAYLES home. PAIGE is drying off with a towel).", "PAIGE: Okay, yeah, Kurt and I hooked up. (We see BOOTH and BRENNAN stood with her). I'm of age. He didn't break any laws sleeping with me.", "BOOTH: So, what did you see in him?", "PAIGE: Kurt wasn't like the other guys from here. He wasn't just cute, he was committed to the environment, saving our planet. People hated him because he made them feel ashamed that they weren't doing more.", "BRENNAN: Well, I think what they hated was the windmill.", "BOOTH: You know, it's possible having s*x with you killed him.", "PAIGE: No, Kurt was in awesome shape.", "BOOTH: No, I didn't mean that you gave him a heart attack. What I meant was, it's possible that someone who cares about you killed him.", "PAIGE: Like my Dad, you mean?", "BRENNAN: Or Trey the gardener.", "PAIGE: But they didn't even know about Kurt.", "BOOTH: Well... what if they did?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Hoover Building Int. SWEETS' office. ARASTOO is sitting opposite SWEETS).", "ARASTOO: (Using his fake accent). Is this an official FBI investigation? Do I need some kind of representation?", "SWEETS: Yeah, the whole accent thing - it's kind of out in the world.", "ARASTOO: (Reverts to American accent). I figured.", "SWEETS: This place, the Jeffersonian - they see things in very black-and-white terms.", "ARASTOO: Comes with the gig. We're scientists.", "SWEETS: Yeah, but unlike any of them, you're religious.", "ARASTOO: Muslim.", "SWEETS: Now, this man I see in front of me right now - rational, pragmatic, highly intelligent. That man might have to explain his religion to people like that every single day. Whereas...", "ARASTOO: Whereas a kid from the sticks of Iran, newly arrived in the West, it's no wonder he clings to his cultural superstitions.", "SWEETS: There you go. Frustrating enough to drive a guy to fake an accent. Which, in my professional opinion, is not crazy.", "ARASTOO: You're a pretty smart guy.", "SWEETS: But I don't need a scientist to tell me who or what I am. And neither should you, Mr. Vaziri. Thanks for coming by.", "ARASTOO: Thank you. (They stand and shake hands).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian Int. Medical-Legal lab - CAM's office. We see some analysis on a computer screen).", "CAM: (Voice off screen).Tox screen came back positive for potassium nitrate, (We see CAM sat at the computer, she is talking on her speakerphone) which can be prescribed for high blood pressure... (Cut to BOOTH and BRENNAN in BOOTH's car. CAM's voice is heard over the car phone). ...but Kurt Bessette was in very good shape. (The scene cuts between CAM's office and BOOTH's car throughout the conversation).", "BRENNAN: Yes, we heard that from his teenage girlfriend.", "BOOTH: Enough to kill the guy?", "CAM: Nope. He might have experienced some muscle weakness, but otherwise saltpeter is fairly harmless.", "BOOTH: Saltpeter is not harmless, okay? I went to Catholic school.", "CAM: That's a total myth, Booth.", "BRENNAN: No, Booth did actually go to a Catholic school.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, the nuns-- used to put saltpeter in all the boys' milk at lunch so that we couldn't get... So we could concentrate without... You know! Ping?", "BRENNAN: But how could you tell that it was in the boys' milk and not the girls'?", "BOOTH: 'Cause the boys' milk was always frothier.", "CAM: And did it work?", "BOOTH: Well, not on me.", "BRENNAN: Well, it didn't work on anyone, Booth. Why people insist upon believing that old wives' tale in the face of all evidence, I'll never understand. Saltpeter acts as a blood thinner.", "BOOTH: See? Thin blood could stop a guy from...", "CAM: We've been saying that the two wounds we found on the victim's body wouldn't be enough for him to bleed out... BRENNAN: But with saltpeter, he could have bled internally from even minor soft tissue damage.", "CAM: We'd never have seen the evidence of that after he cooked.", "BOOTH: We got probable cause of death.", "BRENNAN: Now we just need to find out who fed Kurt Bessette the saltpeter.", "CAM: I think you'll want to talk to the cheating b*st*rd's wife.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building. The interrogation room. KELLY BESSETTE sits at the table).", "KELLY BESSETTE: I begged Kurt to stop cheating on me. I did everything I could in the bedroom to make him stay. I changed my hair. I went to the gym. But when I went to work every day, it was a \"cat's away, mice play\" situation. (We see BOOTH and BRENNAN sat opposite her. BOOTH is leaning away from the table).", "BRENNAN: Where'd you get the saltpeter?", "KELLY BESSETTE: Oh. Um... Nate and James have stump remover. And that's 98% saltpeter. I figured that might be enough to remove Kurt's stump from her garden.", "BOOTH: (Leaning forwards). Who else knew he was cheating?", "KELLY BESSETTE: Nobody. Unless her husband found out.", "BRENNAN: Husband? (Whispering to BOOTH) Kurt Bessette was sleeping with the church lady, too?", "BOOTH: Do you think her husband is capable of murder?", "KELLY BESSETTE: Bob? No. He's just a big dumb-ass knob who thinks Verbena Court is Heaven.", "BRENNAN: (Whispering to BOOTH). That was before he knew the neighbor was having s*x with both his wife and his daughter.", "BOOTH: (BOOTH opens a folder to cover his mouth from KELLY BESSETTE, and whispers to BRENNAN). I don't care how big of a dumb-ass Bob Sayles is. He finds that out, he's going to want to kill her husband. (He closes the folder).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building. The interrogation room. MARY KAY SAYLES sits at the table).", "MARY KAY: How did you find out about me and Kurt? (We see BOOTH sat opposite). Only the two of us knew and, and Kurt's dead.", "BOOTH: You were not the only person that Kurt Bessette was sleeping with.", "MARY KAY: You mean, aside from his wife? So I wasn't his only... Well, who? Who else?", "BOOTH: He was sleeping with your daughter Paige. (She looks shocked). You can understand why you're a suspect here.", "MARY KAY: Yes. People kill out of jealousy. I guess it won't matter if I deny it.", "BOOTH: Uh, but you're not our prime suspect. You see, you have an alibi. You were out biking with James Perry and Elliot Lindbergh.", "MARY KAY: So you think Kelly found out and killed her own husband? (BOOTH looks doubtful). Paige? My God, she's only 18... (BOOTH looks doubtful again). You think my Bob found out and killed Kurt? (BOOTH nods).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian Int. Medical-Legal lab - The bone room. CAM, ANGELA and HODGINS are stood around the light table where the victim's bones are laid).", "HODGINS: I found evidence of a homogenous mixture of oily and waxy long-chain, which are non-polar hydrocarbons in, uh, this fracture of the skull.", "CAM: Can't you just say lubricant? Isn't that much quicker?", "ANGELA: Arastoo must be finished looking at the mini-fractures in that area, right? Where is he? (ARASTOO enters).", "ARASTOO: (In his regular American accent) Sorry. Sorry, I just finished morning prayers. (He walks behind the others and moves to stand in front of the big screen with his back to them. ANGELA and HODGINS look at him with shocked expressions). Skull fracture is located high on the frontal bone, right on the midline... HODGINS: Whoa!", "ANGELA: Who are you?", "ARASTOO: (He turns to face them). I don't have an accent. I was faking it. But I am devout. I do pray five times a day. Now can we get back to work, please?", "ANGELA: Oh, no. Definitely not.", "HODGINS: How do we know you're not faking this accent?", "ANGELA: Does Brennan know about this?", "CAM: Yes. (She nods). She doesn't care. (ANGELA looks unbelieving). She doesn't care.", "ARASTOO: (Turning back to the screen). The midline fracture...", "HODGINS: N n n n n n n n nooo.", "CAM: Arastoo, things will go a lot faster if you just explain.", "ARASTOO: When I speak as though I just got off the boat, people accept my religious convictions. Plus, fewer terrorist jokes. I don't know why.", "HODGINS: 'Cause they're afraid of you.", "ANGELA: You are so gonna to pay for this.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "ARASTOO: I have no doubt that is true. Now, (He turns back to the screen). This wound has a distinctive curve shape to it.", "CAM: (CAM moves to join ARASTOO at the screen). It doesn't look very severe. Corresponding micro fractures to the posterior cranium indicate that Kurt was hit while resting his head on a hard surface.", "ANGELA: So, a weak blow that was delivered when Kurt was already on the ground?", "HODGINS: There's a concrete base on the wind turbine.", "CAM: Bob Sayles is a big, burly man.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but he's a decent guy.", "ANGELA: Well, what does that have to do with it?", "HODGINS: Decent guys, you know. They have a harder time hitting a guy when they're already down on the ground.", "ARASTOO: So, not a weak blow, a half-hearted one?", "ANGELA: This mark here could be congruent with a golf club. (She points to the skull on the table). It's curved and metallic. I could run up an image.", "HODGINS: Most clubs have abrazing composition to secure the titanium alloy that's on the club head. I can check on that.", "CAM: So a reciprocating saw, a golf-club with some lubricant. That just leaves the puncture weapon unidentified.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building. BOOTH and BRENNAN are walking from the elevator).", "BOOTH: It takes a village, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Uh, I, I beg your pardon?", "BOOTH: A village to raise a kid properly. You know, it takes a village.", "BRENNAN: But metaphorically; it doesn't mean we all must grow up in hamlets of 800 people or less. (He takes a file handed to him by a coworker as he passes her desk).", "BOOTH: Thanks, um... Will you be my village?", "BRENNAN: Huh?", "BOOTH: I-I need Parker to know that I lead a full and rewarding life.", "BRENNAN: But you don't.", "BOOTH: What? Yes, I do.", "BRENNAN: No, you don't. You work too much, you don't socialize, all of which prevents you from having a full s*x life.", "BOOTH: Okay, please, let's just take a hint from, you know, the suburbs and just make it look good. (They enter the snack room. BOOTH looks at the file he took).", "BRENNAN: You want to know if I'll help you fool your son into thinking your life is gratifying?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Will you do it?", "BRENNAN: Well, uh how?", "BOOTH: Come to dinner with us. Have fun. Laugh at my jokes.", "BRENNAN: That might actually turn out to be fun, thus becoming a self-fulfilling desire. (We assume BOOTH has poured himself coffee as he now holds a mug).", "BOOTH: Right. So, you'll do it?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.", "BOOTH: My village.", "BRENNAN: I was being amusing. You should laugh at my jokes, too.", "BOOTH: I'm laughing on the inside. (SWEETS enters and stands in the doorway).", "SWEETS: Hey, so I just told Bob Sayles that both his wife and daughter were having s*x with Kurt Bessette.", "BOOTH: Was he shocked?", "SWEETS: Yeah, and he wasn't faking it. (BRENNAN and BOOTH exit the snack room).", "BRENNAN: Well, you shouldn't say that like it's a fact. (SWEETS, BRENNAN and BOOTH walk together along the corridor).", "SWEETS: In my opinion, his dismay was genuine. However, it's difficult to say whether the shock was due to the sexual revelations or if we discovered information he was keeping secret.", "BRENNAN: I appreciate the distinction. (They stop outside a door, BRENNAN goes inside).", "BOOTH: Hold on to that for a second. (He passes SWEETS his mug. BOOTH follows BRENNAN through the door).", "(Cut to: Int. The Hoover Building - The interrogation room. BOB SAYLES sits at the table).", "BOB: You do the best you can, you know? You go to work, you bring home the bacon, you raise a daughter. Either of you got daughters? (We see BRENNAN at the table opposite BOB. BOOTH stands).", "BOOTH: Mm-mm. (BOOTH shakes his head).", "BOB: Well, that's the trip, man - daughters. I was so worried about Paige and that gardener kid, I didn't see what was happening with Kurt. But, I mean, what do you do, preach abstinence? Doesn't work in Alaska; why would it work on Verbena Court?", "BOOTH: Did you suspect anything about your wife?", "BOB: I gotta confess... (BRENNAN and BOOTH share a look). If I'd have known any of that, I'd have killed the son of a bitch, bare hands. And there's not a jury in this country that would convict me, either.", "BRENNAN: That is untrue. They most certainly would have convicted you.", "BOOTH: You don't have an alibi?", "BOB: I was home alone, sleeping in, after getting that pig pit all dug and ready and lit.", "How can Mary Kay do this to me. I've been a good husband, good provider. I took two jobs.", "BRENNAN: Two jobs? We only have you down as a CPA for an airline.", "BOB: Yeah, well, me and Kurt started a side business on the Internet.", "BOOTH: You and Kurt Bessette had a business together?", "BOB: Yep. It was going good, too.", "BRENNAN: Can you continue the business without him?", "BOB: Nah. No way. He was the entrepreneur. I just handled the books.", "BOOTH: What kind of business was it?", "BOB: The only kind that's recession-proof.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Verbena Court - Int. the SAYLES' garage. The space is full of shelves stacked with boxes and packages. Several life-size blow-up dolls are visible. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter).", "BRENNAN: s*x toys.", "BOOTH: Guy goes into the s*x toy business with another guy, (He picks up a red riding crop from a display). who commences to nail his wife... (He swishes the crop). and daughter. Probably using some of the merchandise here to double the fun, huh, Bones? (He swishes the crop again. We see a box labeled \"Love Lube\") Bones, looks like we found the lubricant. (He shows her a bottle).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian. Int. Medical-Legal lab - An examination room. The boxes and packages from the SAYLES' garage are stacked around the room. Two blow-up dolls are laid out on light tables. CAM enters. ANGELA and ARASTOO are looking through the items).", "CAM: Oh... my God. Please tell me this has something to do with the case.", "ARASTOO: This comprises the contents of the Sayles' family garage.", "ANGELA: Brennan asked me and Arastoo to look for possible murder weapons. We did find the lube - it's enough to make the whole neighborhood smile. And there's this. (She holds up a leather and metal harness).", "CAM: Well, that looks... scary. (HODGINS enters).", "HODGINS: Wasn't a golf club. No brazing agent or titanium.", "ANG: Could it have been this? (She shows him an open box, he looks inside)", "HODGINS: Oh. Ouch.", "CAM: What about this lubricant? (Indicating the box of lubricant BOOTH found).", "HODGINS: No, it's not the right lube. (He refers to a file he is carrying). The lubricant in the fracture contains hexane silicone, mineral oil and propellant. Same kind used to lubricate a bicycle chain. (Arastoo looks around the room he spots a pointed weapon).", "ARASTOO: I think I found the weapon. (He holds up a Neighborhood Watch sign attached to a spike) This point matches the puncture wound.", "CAM: There's one of those signs on every lawn on the cul-de-sac.", "HODGINS: Bob Sayles was the head of the Neighborhood Watch. He's the one that distributed signs.", "CAM: Huh. You're gonna need to luminal every sign on Verbena Court.", "ANGELA: You're gonna tell me to stop looking through all of this stuff now, aren't you?", "CAM: I'm afraid so. I'll go tell Booth about the lube. (CAM and HODGINS exit via opposite doors).", "ANGELA: Spoilsport. Finding likely murder weapons way too fast. (She throws him the box she showed HODGINS earlier, he catches it instinctively then sees what it is and drops it quickly looking embarrassed).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Ext. Verbena Court. BRENNAN watches the activity in the street. HODGINS has a lawn sign and sprays its spike with what we assume is luminal).", "BRENNAN: Any blood, Hodgins? (HODGINS shakes his head. HODGINS and an FBI Technician continue lifting signs from lawns and spraying them. PAULA stands watching HODGINS. MARY KAY is on her driveway working on her bicycle. BOOTH appears).", "BOOTH: (To HODGINS). Nothing? (HODGINS shakes his head. We see JAMES and NATE, JAMES begins cycling. ELLIOT is also setting off on his bicycle. TREY comes to stand with PAIGE who is watching the scene. HODGINS sprays the BESSETTE's sign as KELLY BESSETTE leaves her house).", "HODGINS: Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "HODGINS: We're testing positive for blood here. Someone stabbed him with his own sign. (KELLY BESSETTE looks shocked, JAMES and ELLIOT stop cycling. BOOTH and BRENNAN - now stood together - see MARY KAY, the metal cleat on the sole of her shoe is visible).", "BRENNAN: Curved, metallic object I thought might be a golf club, her shoes. (MARY KAY sprays her bicycle chain from a can).", "BOOTH: Silicone lubricant.", "BRENNAN: (Approaching MARY KAY).You kicked Kurt Bessette in the head while he was lying in the pebbles. (JAMES - now on foot approaches MARY KAY, ELLIOT, still on his bike watches).", "BOOTH: You were with James Perry and Elliot Lindbergh that morning.", "BRENNAN: The three of you each gave him a separate blow. Any one of you could have taken the saw from the gardener's truck.", "BOOTH: And the sign from his lawn.", "JAMES: We have alibis.", "BOOTH: You're each other's alibis. All three of you were together at the time of death.", "BRENNAN: Your alibi just turned into an anti-alibi. (ELLIOT makes a break for it on his bicycle).", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (BOOTH drags ELLIOT off his bike and pushes him onto the hood of a car as he tries to cycle away). Take these three into custody, please. (Two uniformed officers approach MARY KAY and JAMES).", "OFFICER 1: Yes, sir!", "OFFICER 2: Got it!", "OFFICER 1: Hands behind your back now.", "OFFICER 2: Right now! Let's go! (PAULA, PAIGE, TREY, NATE and KELLY BESSETTE look on as the three are arrested).", "(Cut to: Ext. Verbena Court. SWEETS stands on the sidewalk facing BOOTH and BRENNAN who lean back against a parked car).", "BRENNAN: Three separate injuries to the body and... three suspects.", "BOOTH: Access to the luau pit.", "BRENNAN: The evidence indicates that we caught the murderers.", "SWEETS: Yeah, I believe you did catch the right people.", "BOOTH: Okay, then what's your problem?", "SWEETS: Motive.", "BRENNAN: James Perry was angry that Kurt poisoned the dog. Elliot Lindbergh was ripped off for $5000.", "SWEETS: Right. My problem is, all these motives were a long time cooking, right? These weapons - a sign, the hedge trimmers, kicking him - all suggest...heat of the moment, right? Not premeditation.", "BOOTH: So you want to know why they all snapped at that precise moment.", "SWEETS: Yeah, yeah. Now, picture it. (He moves to stand in the street, BOOTH and BRENNAN turn to face him). It's dawn; three cyclists are heading out. (He points to where they would have come from). They spot Kurt. (He points to KURT's yard). They approach him for some reason. They argue, and then, with all this pent-up rage, they attack. One slice, one jab, one kick.", "BRENNAN: They didn't know that he was full of the blood thinner, that he would die from the assault. Why does this matter? We already have the people responsible.", "SWEETS: 'Cause it's knowledge, Dr. Brennan. It's insight into humans. It's why I do what I do.", "BOOTH: It's a good answer, Bones.", "BRENNAN: It was a good answer. Fine. Okay, Kurt must have violated some ethos of the suburbs.", "BOOTH: Like cheating on his wife or ripping off his neighbors.", "SWEETS: Those are all accepted derivations of the suburban ethos.", "BRENNAN: Cam said that one of her neighbors had his garage burned down for cutting his lawn on the diagonal. (We suddenly become aware of a loud squeaking noise coming from the wind turbine. They all stare up at it).", "BRENNAN: The windmill.", "SWEETS: It was the last straw. It's ugly, makes a horrible sound, destroys home values... BOOTH: It's the diagonal lawn of Verbena Court.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian. Int. Medical-Legal lab - The mezzanine. HODGINS pours a glass of clear liquid from a conical flask. He moves to offer the drink to ARASTOO who sits with CAM and ANGELA on the sofas).", "HODGINS: Okay, this is basically vodka with a very, very subtle hint of pepper.", "ARASTOO: (He waves the glass away). None for me. (HODGINS sits and hands the drink to ANGELA).", "CAM: Okay, it's technically illegal moonshine, but we are scientists honing our craft.", "ARASTOO: I don't drink alcohol.", "ANGELA: Okay, let's have it.", "ARASTOO: Have what?", "HODGINS: How do you balance an archaic religious belief with a life devoted to science?", "ARASTOO: This discussion is exactly what I hoped to avoid.", "CAM: It's not our fault you let the accent slip.", "ARASTOO: There's no conflict between Allah and science. Allah created the mystery of the world, and science struggles, and mostly fails, to explain it. But the search for truth is honorable, and I honor Allah through the search for truth.", "HODGINS: I get that. But what's with the \"Kill the infidel\" routine?", "ARASTOO: It's times like this I wish I drank alcohol.", "ANGELA: Well, \"Fight and slay the unbeliever.\"", "ARASTOO: I prefer the other option, which is to enslave the unbeliever. (CAM and ANGELA look shocked). It's a joke.", "CAM: Ha.", "HODGINS: That was funny.", "ARASTOO: Is this part done?", "CAM: Not quite. I have one more question. (She rises holding an empty glass). If you took the all-time greatest Celtics players and put them against the all-time greatest Lakers, who would win? (She goes to the conical flask and pours herself a drink).", "ARASTOO: Including the years when the Lakers played in Minneapolis? (CAM nods). Definitely the Celtics.", "HODGINS: Okay, I got one, I got one. Pit the all-time greatest Christians against the all-time greatest Muslims. (As CAM returns to her seat she slaps HODGINS on the back of the head).", "ANGELA: (Laughing) Oh, you just got smote.", "HODGINS: Wow. (They all laugh).", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Int. Royal Diner. BOOTH and BRENNAN sit at a table opposite PARKER they all have plates of food and drinks).", "BOOTH: This is fun. Isn't it fun?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I'm having fun. (Whispering to BOOTH) Is he?", "BOOTH: (BOOTH holds his drink in front of him to hide his face from PARKER. Whispering to BRENNAN). Bones, you can ask him yourself. (We see PARKER's face has marks where ANGELA's face paints have not washed away).", "BRENNAN: (To PARKER). Hey. Are you having fun?", "PARKER: Milk shakes are fun, and I'm having a milk shake. (He holds up his glass). So, yeah, I'm having fun.", "BRENNAN: That's an excellent syllogism.", "PARKER: She thinks I'm silly?", "BRENNAN: What-what's wrong?", "PARKER: He needs a girlfriend.", "BRENNAN: Well, why doesn't he have one?", "PARKER: I don't know. That's another thing we can't talk about until I have hair under my arms.", "BOOTH: Hey, I got a good idea. What do you say we all go bowling, get out of here, huh?", "PARKER: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?", "BOOTH: Buddy, you really gotta quit that.", "BRENNAN: That would be inappropriate.", "PARKER: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because... (She pauses). ...we work together.", "PARKER: That's a stupid reason.", "BOOTH: (Hiding his face with his drink and whispering). You know what? Bones, I'm really not comfortable with the questions that you're asking.", "BRENNAN: (Also hiding her face with her drink and whispering) Booth, could you maybe trust me for a second, trust that I can say the right thing? In the time that I've been with you, I've learned a lot about how to deal with people. (To PARKER). Your father is very, very good with people.", "PARKER: Then why doesn't he have a girlfriend?", "BOOTH: And we're off. (BRENNAN glares at him). Okay. All right, all right.", "BRENNAN: Can I ask you a question? Why do you think your father needs a girlfriend so much?", "BOOTH: (Hiding his face again). Okay, look, Bones, there's a whole gender-parent dealy-bob thing going on here. You're just going to confuse him.", "PARKER: So I can have a pool.", "BRENNAN: He doesn't sound confused.", "BOOTH: A pool?", "PARKER: Lasky's dad got a pool with his girlfriend. Oh, you mean Lasky with the, uh, third nostril?", "PARKER: Lasky's dad got a girlfriend. Then, they got married and moved to a house with a pool. Maybe, if you got married, you'd move to a house with a pool that I could swim in.", "BRENNAN: Well, he seems extremely clear on why he wants you to get a girlfriend. I don't know why you didn't just ask him.", "BOOTH: So, the whole reason you wanted me to get a girlfriend was so that you could have a pool?", "PARKER: Mm-hmm. Why else would I care?", "BRENNAN: There is a pool in my building... (She starts removing a key from her key chain). ...that the two of you can use as my guests anytime. (She places the key on the table. BOOTH takes it).", "PARKER: Awesome. That's awesome, right, Dad?", "BRENNAN: No, not awesome. Simple Socratic method of solving a problem.", "BOOTH: Nope. Mm-mm, Parker is right. You're awesome, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Yeah. I'm awesome. (PARKER nods.) Cheers. (BRENNAN raises her glass and PARKER clinks his own against hers).", "END." ]

[ "Brennan and Booth are called to investigate what appears to be charred human remains on an electrical fence. The mysterious corpse is later determined to be a mummified Egyptian royal on loan to the Jeffersonian. The anthropological mystery has Brennan in a tizzy, and when the Jeffersonian curator prepping the mummy for exhibition is murdered, the team suspects foul play. Brennan's investigation of the curator sheds new light on the life of the Egyptian royal, turning their case into one of historic proportions. Meanwhile, Brennan goes on a date with Booth's supervisor and former intern, and Sweets' girlfriend Daisy Wick returns to the Jeffersonian." ]

[ "\"A Night at the Bones Museum\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TEASER", "(Open: A Power Plant - Night. A Security Guard patrols the grounds. Bored, he flings coins at the electric fence. They spark and sizzle in the dark, illuminating a figure. The Security Guard shines his flashlight and gets the shock of his life when he finds a shriveled corpse. He goes to touch the corpse but winds up shocking himself on the electric fence and falls backward to the ground.)", "(Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth and Brennan are in the middle of looking at something on Booth's desk when Assistant Director Andrew Hacker enters the room)", "HACKER: Hey! These are all the approvals that you asked for, Agent Booth. I- I think they're all in order.", "BOOTH: Right, you, uh, usually just e-mail me these, sir.", "HACKER: Yeah, well, since I heard Dr. Brennan was here, I thought I would say hello and ask her if there was anything she needed from us suits upstairs.", "BRENNAN: Oh, no, thank you, but it's nice to see you again, Agent Hacker.", "BOOTH: It's Assistant Director Hacker, Bones.", "HACKER: Andrew is fine.", "BOOTH: Andrew, cool.", "HACKER: For Dr. Brennan. I'm still your boss, Agent Booth, and since we're at work...", "BOOTH: Sure.", "HACKER: (to Brennan) I just want you to know I realize how busy you are being an author and scientist. Loved the last book, by the way. Not everyone can make crushing someone to death charming.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "HACKER: Well, the Bureau is grateful for all of your help and I hope that you're pleased with Agent Booth; he's the best we've got.", "BOOTH: Oh, I don't know about that...", "BRENNAN: I agree that statement is impossible to quantify, since there are no other agents, partnered with forensic anthropologists let alone, one with my abilities.", "BOOTH: You know what, Bones? You're raining on my parade.", "HACKER: Agent Booth, would you mind if I had a quick word in private with Dr. Brennan?", "BOOTH: Sure! No problem. (to Brennan) He probably wants a signed copy of your book. (to Hacker) Happens all time, no need to be embarrassed.", "(Cut to: Power Plant - Day. Brennan and Booth are getting out of the car, walking towards the crime scene))", "BRENNAN: Director Hacker wants to have s*x with me.", "BOOTH: Oh! He said that. Wait! And it's Assistant Director.", "BRENNAN: Well, he said dinner, but the implication was clear.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, all you gotta do is just turned him down. You know, be very polite and nobody gets hurt.", "BRENNAN: But he is charming, good looking. Why would I turn him down?", "BOOTH: Well, because he's my boss, ok? It'd just be awkward. I'm the guy who's gotta report to him, Bones.", "(They meet up with Cam)", "CAM: The victim seems to have fried. Local cops think a radical environmental group did it. Last week, apparently they torched a Hummer. Sign was the same- \"Big energy is killing the planet.\"", "BRENNAN: Seems to be a poor way to get sympathy for your cause.", "CAM: Ya think?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: So, the plant have security tapes?", "CAM: Your people are getting them now. First responders said the vic looks like a beef jerky.", "(Sweets shows up)", "SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, do you have a moment?", "BRENNAN: No, I'm at a crime scene.", "SWEETS: I called, but I guess you didn't get my messages.", "BOOTH: You know what, Sweets? This'd better be important.", "SWEETS: Daisy and I have been talking, and she'd like another chance to prove herself as your intern.", "CAM: And good-bye. I'm going to focus on Mr. Jerky.", "BRENNAN: I'm aware of your concerns, and I'll be the first to admit that Daisy is very unique.", "BOOTH: Okay, let me guess, let me guess. No s*x until you give her what she wants, right? Am I right?", "SWEETS: I realize she has impulse control issues...", "BRENNAN: She can't stop talking. She has no sense of personal space.", "SWEETS: ...but I've been teaching her some breathing techniques, and I'm confident...", "BOOTH: Guys, I got a dead body over there.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I have to work, Sweets.", "CAM: (over by the fence) I've never seen a burn like this before. Small stature, I estimate late teens, early 20s. If anyone's interested.", "SWEETS: I'd consider it a personal favor, Dr. Brennan.", "BOOTH: Ouch, personal favors are kind of like penalty shots. You kind of have to take 'em. Unlike dinner requests from your boss, which you are totally open to decline.", "BRENNAN: I- I will give Ms. Wick a 24-hour probationary period.", "SWEETS: Thank you. Thank you very much.", "(He smiles and give the thumbs up to Daisy - who starts bouncing in the car across the way)", "(Brennan goes over by the corpse and sniffs it.)", "BRENNAN: This victim wasn't electrocuted.", "CAM: That's what I thought, but the plant engineer said if there was a power surge...", "BRENNAN: (to Booth & Cam) Smell.", "(They all lean in to smell it)", "BOOTH: Whoa, it smells like Christmas.", "BRENNAN: It's frankincense and myrrh. This victim died over 3,000 years ago. This is an Egyptian mummy.", "BOOTH: Like a mummy? Like a real mummy?", "CAM: Well, a real mummy that appears to be covered in fresh blood, and given the trajectory, it's an arterial spurt, most likely from a stabbing, and this is a lot of blood. I doubt whether whoever it was survived.", "BRENNAN: Well, if it were a stabbing, the mummy had to be directly in front of the victim.", "BOOTH: So what are you saying? The mummy killed someone?", "(Opening Credits)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Brennan and Angela are walking in the hallway towards the Forensic Platform.)", "BRENNAN: Booth hasn't found any victims who were stabbed, no hospital or emergency room admissions.", "ANGELA: Okay, well, he also checked the National Stolen Art File, and there were no reports on missing mummies, but he's checking with individual museums and curators now.", "BRENNAN: If this mummy wasn't stolen from a known collection, it means it might be the product of an illegal tomb raid. That makes it a priceless anthropological find.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but is that worth killing for?", "BRENNAN: Well, it's a motive I can easily understand. (she swipes her card and enters the Platform where Cam, Hodgins and Daisy are examining the mummy's remains.) We have to identity the mummy to determine why someone would kill for it.", "DAISY: (talking excitedly) You are so brilliant, Dr. Brennan. Thank you for giving me - (she pauses, takes a breath, lowers her voice an octave and talks much slower) another chance, and I swear I will speak in a more modulated tone and then only when asked.", "BRENNAN: That's wise.", "HODGINS: Cam is running DNA and tox screen on the blood.", "ANGELA: Booth questioned those eco-terrorist freaks. They said they found the mummy when they went dumpster diving. Apparently, they thought it would be a good symbol. He said their story holds.", "HODGINS: I identified flakes of natron. It's a naturally occurring sodium carbonate decahydrate. It was used as a drying agent during the mummification process (Daisy raises her hand) in the second century B.C.", "DAISY: Permission to speak?", "HODGINS: Well, that lasted ten seconds.", "DAISY: Tissue condition confirms the mummy is a daddy... male. They let the females putrefy prior to mummification to discourage necrophilia.", "ANGELA: Ew and good.", "DAISY: Thank you.", "HODGINS: The weave pattern of the linen suggests this was a top-notch embalming. I mean, we may be talking about a pharaoh or a prince here.", "BRENNAN: Someone cracked open his chest cavity.", "DAISY: An area of compaction in the mummified tissue suggests something was stored in here. I forgot to raise my hand. I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: And judging by the margins of the fractures, the thoracic area was opened quite recently.", "DAISY: Perhaps to remove whatever was stored inside.", "ANGELA: Buried treasure inside the mummy's chest?", "HODGINS: Pretty good motive to kill.", "BRENNAN: (giddy) I love ancient remains. I really do. (Hodgins & Angela look at her like she's gone crazy. She calms down, clears her throat and continues) There are particulates embedded in the compaction.", "HODGINS: Yep, I'm on it.", "(Brennan starts getting giddy again - Daisy joins her)", "BRENNAN: This could be a groundbreaking find.", "DAISY: We could be honored by the American Anthropological Association.", "BRENNAN: Most definitely. Our picture on the front of the journal.", "DAISY: Oh, I would love to see my mother's face then.", "(Angela and Hodgins just look at them, dumbfounded. Brennan collects herself, again, and continues)", "BRENNAN: There seems to be a separation between the C6 and C5 vertebrae. Some kind of wooden shaft is connecting the head to the spine.", "DAISY: Oh, let me see.", "(Hodgins and Angela look at each other as if to say: Are Brennan and Daisy seriously bonding?)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth on the phone. )", "BOOTH: Hi, this is Special Agent Seeley Booth with the FBI, Dr. Malloy. This may sound a little strange, but we recovered a mummy that may be evidence in a homicide investigation, and...Okay, um, and you're sure that one hasn't disappeared? (Hacker enters.) Okay, great, thanks.", "(Booth hangs up the phone.)", "HACKER: Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Assistant Director Hacker.", "HACKER: I just got a call from a Nobel Laureate who claims you dragged him out of bed to ask if he's missing a mummy. I assumed it was a crank call.", "BOOTH: No, no, investigating a potential homicide, sir.", "HACKER: And there's a mummy involved?", "BOOTH: Preliminary report.", "HACKER: Huh. So there is a potential mummy-related victim out there.", "BOOTH: Yeah, Bones is looking at the old guy for clues.", "HACKER: A mummy. (Booth nods) Damn, you field agents have all the fun. Good luck.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "HACKER: Oh, by the way, did Temperance mention that I asked her out?", "BOOTH: Uh, y-yeah, I think she may have said something like that.", "HACKER: I just wanted to make sure there's nothing going on between the two of you. I wouldn't want to get in the middle.", "BOOTH: No, nothing whatsoever, sir. Strictly professional.", "HACKER: Are you sure?", "BOOTH: Yeah, positive.", "HACKER: All right, then. I'll let you get back to pissing off Nobel Laureates.", "(Hacker leaves and Booth picks up the phone. He's obviously annoyed that Hacker is going out with Brennan)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela and Sweets are standing in front of a large screen - the movie, The Mummy, is playing.)", "ANGELA: Okay, so you're spying on Daisy.", "SWEETS: No, no, n-no, I'm just staying close in case an intervention is required. This screen is so awesome.", "ANGELA: I know, isn't it?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: I thought you fixed her.", "SWEETS: I- it's a process. Karloff was a genius. You could feel the mummy's pain, you know.", "ANGELA: He was dead, Sweets. He felt no pain.", "SWEETS: Emotional pain - that never dies.", "ANGELA: Cheery thought. Thank you.", "(Cam enters.)", "CAM: Database has no match on the blood. Hodgins found some 3,000-year-old bugs, so he's all weepy. I hope Dr. B. can get the mummy to talk. (regarding the movie) Research, I assume.", "ANGELA: Yes, uh, sure. Imhotep is looking for the reincarnation of his ancient lover. This could be a motive.", "CAM: What are you doing here, Sweets?", "ANGELA: He's Daisy's trainer. If she attacks, he can put her down.", "(Brennan enters with the mummy's head.)", "BRENNAN: (clearing her throat) He was decapitated. Can you do a facial reconstruction? (she hands the tray to Angela.) Perhaps we can match his face to an Egyptian coffin painting. (looking at the screen) Oh, The Mummy, 1932.", "CAM: You don't know who Britney Spears is, but you know this movie.", "BRENNAN: It's the film that made me want to be an anthropologist. Although I prefer Chaney's Mummy to Karloff's.", "(Brennan leaves. Sweets, Cam & Angela look after her - amazed.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan and Daisy are examining the remains.)", "BRENNAN: There's an extra metacarpal on the ulnar side, likely caused by the high incidence of inbreeding among Egyptian royals.", "DAISY: It could just be a single gene mutation.", "BRENNAN: Or it could be one feature of a syndrome of congenital anomalies. Bring up the X-rays of the forearm. There, the ulna is bowed.", "DAISY: Antley-Bixler syndrome - a recessive congenital disorder characterized by malformations of the skeleton and the skull.", "(Brennan grabs a book and starts thumbing through it - her excitement levels rising as Daisy continues to talk)", "DAISY: Flat forehead, elongation of the parietal and occipital regions. Oh, my God, he's 18th Dynasty.", "BRENNAN: Excellent, Ms. Wick, excellent.", "DAISY: I try, I do. (Brennan stops reading and looks up slowly) Dr. Brennan, are you okay?", "BRENNAN: (a smile spreads across her face) I know who the mummy is.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan and Daisy come running in - obviously very excited about something.)", "BRENNAN: I identified the mummy.", "DAISY: I helped!", "(Sweets gives her a look)", "BRENNAN: It is a find that is certainly valuable enough to kill for. (she turns towards the screen) Oh. I love this part. (she starts to act out part of the movie and mimics the voice on screen) \"And yet I shall awaken memories of love and crime and death.\"", "CAM: Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Uh, of course. Sorry. His name is Anok, the Boy with the Bleeding Heart. He was the second son of the Pharaoh, and according to legend, Anok's older brother, Meti, fell off his horse and Anok trampled him to death to ensure that he would ascend to the throne. Anok insisted that his brother's Injuries were the result of the fall, but the Pharaoh didn't believe him and he went into a rage and he cut off Anok's head. He became known as the Boy with the Bleeding Heart because his grief was two-fold. Grief for the death of his brother, and grief for the loss of his father's love.", "ANGELA: And what does this have to do with the murder?", "DAISY: Anok is supposed to be here at the Jeffersonian, on loan from the Egyptian government. He's going on exhibit Friday. But I should have let Dr. Brennan tell you that.", "CAM: Why wasn't he reported missing?", "BRENNAN: I don't know. I - I've called Booth. We have to talk to the curator.", "(Brennan runs out.)", "DAISY: (to Sweets) Why are you here?", "SWEETS: Movie. I was just watching the movie.", "DAISY: So, I'm like some kind of experiment that you need to supervise?", "SWEETS: No. I just thought if you needed me...", "DAISY: Do I look stupid? Because I'm not, Lance. In fact, there's lots of people who think I'm scary smart. (she storms out) (to herself) Not about men, apparently.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Hallway. Booth and Brennan are being led to Dr. Kaswell's office by her assistant, Leland Frankel)", "LELAND FRANKEL: Her lab is upstairs on the right. Now, the Anok exhibit opens on Friday, so there's very little chance that Dr. Kaswell just let Anok get up and walk out of her lab.", "BRENNAN: Well, of course not. Reanimation, while extremely entertaining, is impossible. Cellular death is cellular death.", "BOOTH: Listen. When was the last time you saw Dr. Kaswell?", "FRANKEL: I guess a day or so. She's just been behind closed doors with Anok while I've been helping out with the dioramas, which have been a nightmare. In one scene, they painted a group of female musicians, and they have toes.", "BRENNAN: Toe differentiation in Egyptian art didn't happen until much later, particularly in women.", "FRANKEL: I know, right?", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) It's fascinating.", "FRANKEL: (knocking on a door) Dr. Kaswell? (to Brennan) She hates to be disturbed. (he knocks again) Dr. Kaswell!", "BOOTH: Just try the...(he tries to open the door) Oh, it's locked.", "FRANKEL: She's always here at this hour. Always. And she would never lock herself in.", "BRENNAN: We should get the key.", "BOOTH: (while kicking open the door) Of course.", "BRENNAN: (laughing) Ah, ha ha ha ha.", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that. It's a mummy's coffin.", "FRANKEL: Yes. Beautiful, isn't it? I can't believe she's not here.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Look. It's blood.", "(Blood is dripping out of the coffin)", "BOOTH: Let me get this thing out. (Booth struggles) I got it.", "FRANKEL: Oh, please, be careful with that. It's priceless.", "BOOTH: Oh!", "FRANKEL: Dr. Kaswell.", "BOOTH: Yeah, that would have been my guess.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Cam, Hodgins and Brennan are examining Dr. Kaswell's body.)", "CAM: The FBI has locked down the Egyptian wing, looking for evidence.", "HODGINS: I can't believe Dr. Kaswell is dead. I just met her a couple months ago at a party.", "BRENNAN: She seemed nice. She was pleasant, but an unexceptional anthropologist and obviously quite careless.", "CAM: Perhaps, but it's sad nonetheless, Dr. Brennan, to lose one of our own here at the Jeffersonian.", "BRENNAN: Of course.", "HODGINS: Truth be told, we kind of flirted with each other...", "CAM: Not appropriate, Dr. Hodgins. Dr. Kaswell's blood's a match for the spray we found on the mummy.", "HODGINS: There are some metal flakes at the injury site. You say the word, I'll take them.", "BRENNAN: One moment. The weapon appears to have penetrated the eye and then entered the frontal lobe. There's damage to the superior orbital fissure and sphenoid.", "CAM: It must have lacerated the internal carotid artery. That would be consistent with the arterial spurt.", "BRENNAN: Given the injuries, the killer must have used a narrow, blunt-edged instrument.", "HODGINS: The metal shavings might help us identify the murder weapon.", "(Daisy come ups behind them, quietly. Raises her hand and clears her throat)", "BRENNAN: Speak, Ms. Wick.", "DAISY: I used phenolphthalein and hydrogen peroxide in Anok's open chest cavity. You can see blood traces in the compaction and evidence of a blunt-edged instrument used to gouge out whatever was hidden in his chest. I extracted some metal shavings for Dr. Hodgins.", "CAM: Perhaps the murderer used the same weapon that killed Dr. Kaswell to open Anok's chest.", "DAISY: Dr. Kaswell had been studying this mummy for weeks. She must have known what was inside his chest.", "BRENNAN: The Egyptian government wouldn't allow any invasive examination of Anok.", "CAM: And there was nothing in her notes?", "BRENNAN: Her notes were missing.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth and Brennan are talking with Steven Turnbull.)", "BOOTH: So, you were overseeing the exhibit, Mr. Turnbull?", "STEVEN TURNBULL: Uh, administrating. I was the, uh, go-between, coordinating things with Dr. Kaswell and, of course, the Egyptian National Museum.", "BRENNAN: The Egyptians lent Anok to the Jeffersonian.", "TURNBULL: He survived 3,000 years in the Egyptian desert, but he couldn't make it two weeks in DC.", "BOOTH: Hmpf.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Kaswell's notes were missing. I assume she took notes.", "TURNBULL: Of course. She had to turn them all over to me so that I could give them to the Egyptians. That was part of the deal.", "BOOTH: Well, we're going to need all the notes that she gave you.", "TURNBULL: Of course.", "BRENNAN: Did she mention finding anything in Anok's chest?", "TURNBULL: Chest? No. Uh, no invasive examinations were approved by the Egyptians.", "BRENNAN: It's not uncommon for different departments to vie for funds for exhibits, is it, Mr. Turnbull?", "TURNBULL: Uh, no, but as you can attest, Dr. Brennan, scientists usually don't kill for them.", "BOOTH: Sure. I'm just curious...was anyone angry at Kaswell because she did get the funds?", "TURNBULL: I know - I know that Dr. Wheaton was upset.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) He's head of Ancient Rome Culture and Artifacts.", "BOOTH: (to Turnbull) Well, why was he upset?", "TURNBULL: He wanted the funds to exhibit some new finds in Roman portraiture but Alex is a good man, a friend. I mean, he's a Little League coach, for God's sake.", "BRENNAN: Did he and Dr. Kaswell ever have words?", "TURNBULL: Everyone has disagreements.", "BOOTH: Well, not everyone winds up dead.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Room. Cam is just finishing up the autopsy on Dr. Kaswell. Angela is with her.)", "CAM: Heart like a marathon runner. She probably would have made it to 90 if this didn't happen.", "ANGELA: This poor woman. You know, she gave me a lift last month when my car broke down.", "CAM: Maybe there really is a curse. Messing with mummies...clearly not a good idea.", "ANGELA: When I was in Rio, some kid graffitied a mummy in the National Museum. The next day, choked on his own tongue.", "CAM: Seriously?", "ANGELA: \"Death shall come on swift wings to he who disturbs the peace of the mummy.\"", "CAM: Well, I guess I'd be angry, too, if someone pulled my brain out through my nose and stuck it in a canopic jar.", "(Hodgins enters.)", "HODGINS: The urine of a redheaded boy.", "CAM: We need so much more than that.", "HODGINS: From the swab of Dr. Kaswell's eye.", "ANGELA: A redheaded boy peed on her eye?", "HODGINS: Well, not exactly. See this? The tool used to stab Dr. Kaswell left traces of iron and carbon. And, to a lesser extent, silicon, manganese and phosphorous.", "ANGELA: Any of those things scream \"pee\"?", "CAM: Not that I'm aware.", "HODGINS: Ancient metal workers turned iron into steel by accident. They accidentally carburized the iron while heating it over charcoal, thus turning it into low-grade steel. But they thought that it was the mode of quenching the molten metal that hardened it.", "CAM: The redheaded boy pees on the molten metal.", "HODGINS: The iron turns to steel and our ancient metal worker figured that the little redhead did the trick. It's an instant old wives' tale.", "ANGELA: Wait. I didn't know they had redheads in Ancient Egypt.", "HODGINS: They didn't. It was Ancient Rome. Our murder weapon was forged in Ancient Rome.", "(Cut to: Booth's Car. Brennan is reading over a file while Booth is driving.)", "BRENNAN: Dr. Wheaton's department has a very extensive collection of Roman tools. Chisels, lathes, planes, files.", "BOOTH: Eggheads killing each other over exhibits no one really wants to see.", "BRENNAN: The King Tut exhibit was immensely popular.", "BOOTH: Look, Bones, the only thing that regular people learn from going to a museum is how to sleep standing up. All right? Pretty simple. So, I did a little checking on Hacker, by the way; 42, never been married. Just in case you're interested.", "BRENNAN: Late marriage is often an indicator of a discerning, goal-oriented individual. Why is this a problem for you, Booth?", "BOOTH: Ah, because he's my boss. That's all. And if you're going to go out with Hacker, then you guys are going to talk about me.", "BRENNAN: Why would I talk about you?", "BOOTH: Because I'm what you've got in common.", "BRENNAN: If you're concerned that I'd discuss any perceived shortcomings -", "BOOTH: Shortcomings? What shortcomings?", "BRENNAN: Honestly, Booth, Andrew and I are attracted to each other. I'm sure neither of us will think of you for a second.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Eqyptology Department. Brennan and Booth confront Dr. Wheaton.)", "DR. WHEATON: Trust me, Agent Booth. I had no quarrel with Dr. Kaswell.", "BOOTH: Really? Because, according to witnesses, you were arguing with her in the middle of the Titan exhibit.", "BRENNAN: He means Titian. Titian was a 16th century Renaissance painter from the Italian school, Booth. Titans were ancient Greek gods...", "DR. WHEATON: Okay. I yelled at Dr. Kaswell. Leslie was gloating because she got the funding and I didn't. I'm human. I got angry.", "BOOTH: Okay, so stealing her beef jerky man was just some way of wrecking her exhibit and seeking revenge, but things, they just got out of hand, and before you know it...", "BRENNAN: A gouge is missing, Dr. Wheaton. An early steel scalprum.", "DR. WHEATON: I, uh... I don't know where that went. I've been asking the doctoral candidates. They have access to these tools for research.", "BRENNAN: 25 centimeters long, blunt end. Two centimeters wide. That could definitely be the murder weapon.", "BOOTH: Oh. Where were you Monday night?", "DR. WHEATON: Here, working. I don't have to say any more. If you have evidence, arrest me. I have work to do.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Angela and Hodgins are talking while he looks at particulates)", "ANGELA: Isn't it weird that 3,000 years ago, Anok was a real guy, 24 years old - like Sweets - living his life and falling in love?", "HODGINS: Yep. Bet he didn't know his afterlife was going to consist of being dissected and analyzed, like what he really is... just a mere mass of chemicals.", "ANGELA: Yeah, that was the romantic notion I was going for. Thank you.", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan wanted me to check on those particulate swabs from the mummy's chest cavity. Not that I'm trying to rush you or anything.", "ANGELA: Is everything okay, Daisy?", "HODGINS: Oh, I can't believe you asked that.", "DAISY: Lance and I had a little disagreement. He's overbearing and untrusting and I'm evaluating the future of our relationship. You're so good to ask. We're close, aren't we?", "HODGINS: (interrupting) Hey, look what I found. Three different particulates within the chest cavity. We got crushed mammal bone, kermes insect and woad legume.", "ANGELA: Animal, vegetable and mineral.", "DAISY: Actually, that would be two animals and a vegetable because bone is organic, not a mineral.", "ANGELA: Oh, my God. The three particulates are totally different but they're actually the exact same thing.", "(Angela leaves. Daisy & Hodgins are confused.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.)", "ANGELA: Woad, kermes insect and bone were all used by the Ancient Egyptians to make paint. I learned this when I was in art school. Bone for white, kermes insect for red and woad for indigo.", "HODGINS: So we just can't make out the colors anymore because of decomp?", "ANGELA: Right.", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan thought perhaps the compaction was left by a canopic jar.", "ANGELA: No. They didn't paint those. They weren't important. It would have been like painting Tupperware.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but something was painted. What would have been painted?", "DAISY: And why did somebody hide it inside his body?", "ANGELA: Well, it must have been important and it needed to last forever. So, if I can scan the cavity and find out where the paint seeped into the different tissues, I might be able to reconstruct what was in Anok's chest.", "(Cam and a woman approach the platform)", "CAM: This is Azita Jabbari from the Egyptian National Museum.", "AZITA JABBARI: Turn off that light.", "What? Wait a minute. We just discovered...", "AZITA JABBARI: We have not authorized any invasive or investigative procedures on Anok.", "CAM: Ms. Jabbari wants her mummy back.", "AZITA JABBARI: \"The Boy With the Bleeding Heart\" goes back to Cairo. Today. Unless you would like to start a feud between our two governments.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Azita is arguing with Cam & Brennan.)", "AZITA JABBARI: Anok is a national treasure on loan to your country. According to our agreement, we can revoke the permit at any time.", "BRENNAN: I understand your government's concern, but he's safe in our Medico-Legal Lab. The low humidity and temperature in the lab are optimum conditions.", "AZITA JABBARI: Dr. Brennan, with all due respect, you have no legal grounds to keep him.", "CAM: Yes, we do. Anok is evidence in a murder investigation. Whoever killed Dr. Kaswell stole something from inside the mummy. Any idea what was inside that was worth killing for?", "AZITA JABBARI: Have you examined the CAT scans?", "BRENNAN: What CAT scans?", "AZITA JABBARI: A few days ago, I granted Dr. Kaswell's request to perform CAT scans on Anok. The films should be in Dr. Kaswell's files.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Kaswell's lab was searched. The files are missing.", "AZITA JABBARI: Then ask the young man who worked for Dr. Kaswell. He sent the request.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth & Brennan are talking with Leland Frankel)", "BOOTH: (reading from a paper) \"I work for Dr. Kaswell at the Jeffersonian Institution, and I'm writing to request autobiographical information on the man who funded the exhumation of Anok's tomb.\" I checked with the museum. You never worked with Dr. Kaswell.", "FRANKEL: That's why I'm here?", "BOOTH: Well, that and other reasons. She was murdered, so start talking.", "FRANKEL: Okay, technically, I did not work for her but Dr. Kaswell did agree to be my doctoral advisor at the antiquities graduate program at Georgetown.", "BRENNAN: Very impressive.", "FRANKEL: Thank you. I'm very bright.", "BOOTH: Okay, Bright Boy, let's just stay on point, shall we?", "FRANKEL: As soon as I got to D.C., Dr. Kaswell said that she did not have the time for me anymore, that she was too busy prepping the Anok exhibit but I knew all about Anok. I even wrote a paper on him as an undergrad.", "BOOTH: It pissed you off, didn't it, that she wouldn't let you help?", "FRANKEL: No.", "Booth: No?", "FRANKEL: Okay, yes but not enough to kill her. I signed up as a museum intern so I could prove my value to her.", "BRENNAN: You thought if you helped her with her work, she might change her mind about advising you.", "FRANKEL: It was my idea to do the CAT scans on Anok. She thought it was an excellent suggestion.", "BRENNAN: So, you saw the films?", "FRANKEL: No, I didn't even know if she followed through but I would have killed to see those images.", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "FRANKEL: But I didn't.", "(Cut to: Founding Father's Bar. Brennan and Hacker are on their date. You hear Brennan laughing.)", "BRENNAN: Usually all you find in a mummy's torso are pounded perfumes.", "HACKER: Yeah, that's all I've ever found. Once a sandwich, but of course, it was stale.", "BRENNAN: You found a sand...? Oh. You're joking. (laughing) That's, that's funny. A sandwich, because it's, it's highly unlikely to find one in a mummy. Did I tell you that Anok has six fingers? Also highly unlikely, so perhaps there is a sandwich in him.", "HACKER: You know, - no joke - I have an uncle with four toes.", "BRENNAN: Frostbite or lawnmower?", "HACKER: You are good. Lawn mowing accident. He was watching a playoff game while cutting the lawn. He had no regrets, though. Said it was a great game.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "HACKER: So, uh, what do you want to eat after this appetizing conversation?", "BRENNAN: Uh, Booth likes to get the meatloaf. He has them take out the hard boiled egg, because his mother used to tell him it was a human eyeball.", "HACKER: I got to say - you and Booth - it's an unlikely partnership.", "BRENNAN: I prefer not to talk about Booth, if you don't mind.", "HACKER: That's fine by me. You're a far more interesting topic.", "BRENNAN: I'd like to know the story behind your guitar. Not many FBI Directors have a Stratocaster in their office.", "HACKER: I'm impressed. You know a Stratocaster.", "BRENNAN: Yes. I had a victim who was beaten to death with one but it still played. It is an excellent instrument. (She receives a text message) Oh. Sorry. (she checks it) I'm so sorry. They need me back at the lab.", "HACKER: You're investigating a murder. That tends to take precedence over meatloaf.", "(She gets up to leave)", "BRENNAN: Well, Friday night dinner on me?", "HACKER: Sure, and I will then reveal the secret of the Stratocaster.", "BRENNAN: All right. (she leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek) Bye.", "HACKER: Bye.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)", "ANGELA: Hey. How could you not tell me that you were on a date when I texted you?", "BRENNAN: It was just drinks.", "ANGELA: Celibate. Seeking crumbs. Spill.", "BRENNAN: He's Booth's boss's boss. His name is Andrew.", "ANGELA: Wait. This is his boss's boss? Was Booth upset?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I don't know why.", "ANGELA: Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things. And Booth wishes that you were going out with him.", "BRENNAN: Well, I drink with him all the time but with Andrew, there's the potential for s*x.", "ANGELA: And not with Booth?", "(Brennan avoids the question by changing the subject)", "BRENNAN: You-you said there was something important you wanted me to see?", "ANGELA: Yes.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "ANGELA: The paint residue was found inside the compacted area in Anok's chest. Now, I laid a grid over that area. Next, Hodgins inspected each section of the grid for chemical residue, assigning values based on our color differential. It was kind of like paint by numbers. (Brennan looks at her, she has no idea what she's talking about) Okay. Anyway, bone for white, kermes insect for red, and wode for indigo. Okay, now I reshaped, refined and cropped the edges. And finally, I removed the grid.", "BRENNAN: Hieroglyphs.", "ANGELA: Yeah. A negative impression. Because they were left by the object that was hidden inside the chest.", "BRENNAN: Ange, very good.", "ANGELA: I know, right? Next, we take the object out and we look on the bottom and we have the positive image of the hieroglyphs.", "BRENNAN: Amazing, but many of these characters are incomplete.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Well, some of the paint residue had faded too much and couldn't be retrieved.", "BRENNAN: But if we can decipher this, it could tell us what was inside.", "ANGELA: I know.", "(Angela gives her a look meaning that she wants to continue their prior conversation but Brennan acts oblivious)", "ANGELA: s*x?", "BRENNAN: (amused) Print this out and send it to Dr. Babajanian in Ancient Languages.", "(Brennan starts to head towards the door)", "ANGELA: Oh, come on, Brennan. Be a pal. I need a vicarious thrill. Please?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Room. Cam is taking a slice of Dr. Kaswell's brain to examine it closer. Sweets enters.)", "CAM: Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: I was looking for Daisy.", "CAM: Haven't seen her.", "SWEETS: Looks like you're making carpaccio.", "CAM: This is Dr. Kaswell's brain.", "SWEETS: Oh, God, I'm sorry. Oh. Okay, uh, Dr. Saroyan, I'm having some serious problems with Daisy. Can I ask your advice?", "CAM: No.", "SWEETS: No? Really?", "CAM: Really. I have a 16-year-old and believe me, when it comes to dating advice, I am batting a red hot zero.", "SWEETS: But you've been through this, like, a million times yourself.", "CAM: Did you just call me old?", "SWEETS: Is that what it felt like?", "CAM: Yeah.", "SWEETS: You see? I can't help it. I alienate every woman I talk to, no matter how pure my motives.", "CAM: All right, give me a ballpark. No specifics. I don't want specifics.", "SWEETS: The woman I love won't speak to me.", "CAM: You are an excellent shrink. You know you can help people, but Daisy's not people. She's the person you love, the person you have to trust. If Daisy's gonna screw up, you have to let her. It'll show her you have faith in her.", "SWEETS: Yeah. That's superb advice.", "CAM: It was kind of good, wasn't it?", "SWEETS: I thought I was taking care of her, but you're absolutely right. I- I was just insulting her. Thank you.", "CAM: No problem.", "SWEETS: (he reaches out his arms to hug her) Oh!", "CAM: And now we're done. (he hugs her tighter) Done. Ooh! Dr. Sweets, you're crushing me and I think you're getting brain on your suit. Brain.", "SWEETS: Hmm? Hmm.", "(Daisy enters.)", "DAISY: Well, this just gets more and more interesting, doesn't it?", "SWEETS: Oh, no. It was a friendship hug.", "CAM: And an uncomfortable one. You need something, Ms. Wick?", "DAISY: Um, a courier just dropped off the memory chip from the CAT scan machine Dr. Kaswell used to image Anok. Angela's looking at it now.", "CAM: Oh. Thank you.", "(Cam leaves)", "DAISY: You don't need to spy. I'm fine. And I don't need those stupid breathing exercises.", "SWEETS: Okay. I'm sorry. You know, I never meant to...", "DAISY: I'm - I'm quite busy, Lance. I have a murder to solve and I'm sure you have ink blots to show somebody.", "(She storms out, leaving Sweets feeling even more terrible)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office )", "ANGELA: There's the embedded object.", "HODGINS: Based on the density of the image, it's most likely Nile stone.", "DAISY: What's that in the center?", "CAM: Can you enhance it?", "HODGINS: It's crystalline in structure. It's a corundum in the trigonal crystal system and the hexagonal scalenohedral class.", "DAISY: A mineral of some sort?", "HODGINS: If the CAT scan were in color, it'd be red and really expensive.", "CAM: A ruby.", "ANGELA: Yeah, a giant ruby.", "CAM: It's right where Anok's heart would be.", "DAISY: Anok's bleeding heart must refer to the ruby.", "HODGINS: A stone that size would be worth a fortune.", "DAISY: Only someone who saw the CAT scan would've known about this.", "HODGINS: Hey, Dr. Kaswell's grad student... I mean, he's the one that requested the scans.", "CAM: Booth cleared him. He was working on dioramas at time of death but Azita Jabbari, she knew about them, too. She gave permission to have them done.", "HODGINS: Yeah, and she tried to get Anok taken away from us before we could finish investigating.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth & Brennan are talking with Azita Jabbari)", "AZITA JABBARI: This is insane. I have devoted my life to preserving my country's antiquities.", "BRENNAN: You knew about the CAT scan. You had access to the mummy.", "AZITA JABBARI: I didn't know about the ruby, and if I did, I would have insisted on additional security. That ruby is a national treasure. I am holding you responsible for losing it.", "BOOTH: Where were you three nights ago when Dr. Kaswell was murdered?", "AZITA JABBARI: In Los Angeles. There was a fund-raiser at The Egyptian Theatre. I know it's tacky, but the Ambassador wanted me there. I am sure that counts as an alibi? (they know it does.) You said you found hieroglyphs in his chest. I would like to see them.", "BRENNAN: An expert from the Jeffersonian is studying them.", "(She hands her a copy of the hieroglyphs)", "AZITA JABBARI: I am one of the foremost scholars on ancient hieroglyphs. These are incomplete.", "BRENNAN: We know. They are remnants from the paintings on the box that contained the ruby.", "AZITA JABBARI: This is a signature. This is a message from the Pharaoh's wife.", "BOOTH: Ah, a note from his mom.", "AZITA JABBARI: Yes, exactly. \"My heart bleeds for my guiltless son.\"", "BRENNAN: Guiltless. She didn't think that Anok killed his brother, Meti?", "BOOTH: Look, no mother wants to believe her son is guilty of murder. That hasn't changed in 3,000 years.", "BRENNAN: This could change history. We now have the ability to determine Meti's cause of death. (Brennan gets up and starts gathering the file) I can have his remains brought from the Natural History Museum in New York.", "AZITA JABBARI: (getting up) I would like to assist.", "BRENNAN: Of course.", "BOOTH: (Cutting Brennan off) Whoa, whoa, how's that gonna help us catch Kaswell's killer?", "BRENNAN: Well, it won't, but it could exonerate Anok. There can be no time limit for justice, Booth.", "BOOTH: Bones, Dr. Kaswell's killer is out there now. We're running out of suspects.", "BRENNAN: You'll do it, Booth. You always do. I'll call New York.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Hacker walks into Booth's office, Booth enters a few seconds later - carrying a cup of coffee.)", "BOOTH: Hey, boss.", "HACKER: How's the case going?", "BOOTH: Not solved yet but, uh, you're not here for that, are you?", "HACKER: I just wanted to say you're doing a great job. Truly exceptional work.", "BOOTH: Sir, if we would just kill the compliments and just say what's on your mind, I'd appreciate that.", "HACKER: Right. Let's drop the agent/boss thing for a minute.", "(Hacker sits down)", "BOOTH: Sure.", "HACKER: It's been a while since I've met someone, you know, special and, uh, oh, hell, I just don't want to make a fool out of myself if Temperance is only going out with me 'cause I'm the boss.", "BOOTH: Right. Listen, Sir, Bones doesn't feel the pressure to act or do or say anything that she doesn't want to and no one, no one can make her. That what makes her... Bones.", "HACKER: (relieved) Okay, thanks, really.", "BOOTH: No problem.", "(Hacker starts to walk towards the door.)", "HACKER: Listen, next time you're at the Founding Fathers, you should try the meatloaf with the egg. You'll like it; tastes nothing like a human eye.", "(Booth is angry. Brennan did exactly what he didn't want her to do - she talked to Hacker about him.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Hodgins is looking for particulates on Anok's linen wrapping while Daisy watches.)", "HODGINS: Maybe we missed particulates from the killer on the mummy's linen wrapping.", "DAISY: He was found in a dumpster, so he'd be covered in particulates.", "HODGINS: Yes, but we'd be looking for something non-dumpster related.", "DAISY: Of course. Never give up. Was I too hard on Lance?", "HODGINS: Focus, Daisy.", "DAISY: Okay, but you're a man. Lance is so cute, isn't he?", "HODGINS: Yeah, that'd be a question for a woman.", "DAISY: I mean, someone that cute isn't malicious. He can't be.", "HODGINS: You really don't need me for this conversation, do you? Oh, wait, wait, wait. I think I found something here.", "DAISY: A probative particulate?", "HODGINS: No, a grease spot. Most likely a fingerprint.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Brennan is seated at her desk when Booth walks in, carrying an egg. He places it on the desk in front of her. He's annoyed.)", "BRENNAN: Ooh, what's this?", "BOOTH: What does it look like?", "BRENNAN: An egg.", "BOOTH: And when was the last time you recently talked about an egg?", "BRENNAN: (realizing) Oh.", "BOOTH: Oh.", "BRENNAN: (defending her action) Well, he asked me what was good to eat, and I mentioned that you liked the meatloaf.", "BOOTH: Stop right there. You said you weren't going to talk about me, and you talked about me.", "BRENNAN: But I - I didn't mean to talk about you. I told him I didn't want to but, you know, I like that story and I guess it just popped out.", "BOOTH: Popped out? I don't need Hacker knowing about my mother's meatloaf.", "BRENNAN: Why are you so upset?", "BOOTH: Because... what goes on between us is ours.", "BRENNAN: Come on, Booth, you must've told a lot of people the meatloaf story, right?", "(Booth just stares at her and she realizes that this is something that he's only shared with her. She's betrayed his trust but before she can say anything, Hodgins enters.)", "HODGINS: So, I got a print off the linen. Had your people run it through the database.", "BOOTH: You get a name?", "HODGINS: Yeah, Alexander Wheaton.", "BRENNAN: The Director of Roman Antiquities.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is talking with Dr. Alexander Wheaton)", "BOOTH: You want evidence? (he throws a file down on the table) We found your evidence.", "DR. WHEATON: This is ridiculous. I didn't kill Dr. Kaswell.", "BOOTH: You were in the building, Doc, your fingerprint was on the priceless mummy.", "DR. WHEATON: Well, there's been some kind of mistake. I would never have touched something that valuable without being gloved, and Leslie would never have allowed it. Wait a minute, I know what happened.", "BOOTH: Hmm, okay. So, what happened, Doc? I'm waiting. I'm all ears.", "DR. WHEATON: I did go to see her that night. Uh, I'd been a jerk, jealous about her getting the grant money. We'd been friends for years; I wanted to apologize. We made up, and she wanted to show me Anok, you know, scientist to scientist. She opened Anok's coffin and the mummy slipped. I- I reached out to stop it. It was just a reflex.", "BOOTH: Did she show you the CAT scans?", "DR. WHEATON: Yes.", "BOOTH: Ha.", "DR. WHEATON: ..but she swore me to secrecy. It was such an important find, I wasn't going to betray her trust.", "BOOTH: Right, then after you saw them, the mummy vanishes with your fingerprint, your friend dies, and these scans, they just disappear.", "DR. WHEATON: No, the scans were in her notes. She showed them to me before she submitted them.", "BOOTH: The scans that were supposed to be submitted to Dr. Steven Turnbull?", "DR. WHEATON: He was the administrator, yes. They'd be in the notes he turned over to you.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Parking Garage. Booth and Brennan are walking towards Turnbull's parking spot)", "BRENNAN: He deliberately withheld the scans.", "BOOTH: Well, destroyed them is more likely. Okay, Turnbull's spot is number ten. So, if he did it, he probably put the mummy in his car, and he took off with it.", "BRENNAN: I can't imagine anyone destroying an artifact like that, especially a scholar like Turnbull. I was going to call him to talk to him about my work with Meti.", "(They see a guy, Rodney, cleaning the interior of the car.)", "BOOTH: Steven Turnbull's vehicle here?", "RODNEY: Yeah, that's right.", "BOOTH: Shut that off there, will you, Bones? (she turns off the vacuum) All right, can you step out of the car? FBI.", "BRENNAN: You could be destroying evidence.", "RODNEY: Oh, man! Another drug dealer? It's not my fault. I do a good job, so word of mouth, it gets around and the peop-", "BOOTH: (cutting him off) Is he a regular customer of yours?", "(Brennan looks inside the vacuum)", "RODNEY: No. He saw my ad at the laundromat.", "BOOTH: At the Laun...No wonder you have nothing but drug dealers coming to you.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah? Would you just stand over there? Right over there, Rodney.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to the inside of the vacuum) Take a whiff.", "BOOTH: (leans in, sniffs.) Smells like Christmas.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth & Brennan are interrogating Steven Turnbull)", "TURNBULL: I saw the CAT scans. I was gonna to sneak in, take the ruby and close him up again but Leslie came back. We argued. You know, I lost my retirement in the market. No one even knew that ruby was in there. She shouldn't have gotten in the way.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) Yeah, it was her fault.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Storage Room.)", "SWEETS: Hey, what you doing?", "DAISY: My work. Dr. Brennan and I found cause of death for Meti. He's act-", "SWEETS: (interrupting) Look, Daisy, I should've had more faith in you. I just, I knew how important this was and I always want you to get everything that you want and anytime you don't, it kills me.", "DAISY: Really?", "SWEETS: You know, by looking over your shoulder, it only makes people think that you can't do things. And you can. You-You're brilliant.", "DAISY: Certainly well above average. Okay, brilliant.", "SWEETS: You know, Dr. Brennan was very impressed by you.", "DAISY: She said that?", "SWEETS: Unsolicited. You're so beautiful, Daisy and I promise that if you ever fail in the future, I will do absolutely nothing but just give ya a hug.", "DAISY: That's the nicest thing you ever said to me and I really do love the breathing exercises. So... do you want to be my Lance-a-lot again?", "SWEETS: RAWR!", "DAISY: You know that drives me crazy.", "SWEETS: RAWR!", "(Daisy jumps on Sweets, rips his shirt open and kisses him. They fall to the ground and continue to make out)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Anok and Meti Exhibit. Brennan is leading Booth down the stairs. They're both dressed to the nines.)", "BOOTH: Bones, we're not supposed to be down here yet.", "BRENNAN: You're with me, Booth. This is my find. You're not gonna get into trouble. (the approach a circular spot on the floor) Don't, don't step on that!", "BOOTH: Why? God, this is so cool! (Brennan chuckles) Wow. So, he wasn't trampled by his brother?", "BRENNAN: No. Meti suffered from osteogenesis imperfecta, otherwise known as brittle bone disease. Meti's fall from his horse killed him; Anok was innocent. His mother was right.", "BOOTH: So it only took 3,000 years for someone to hear her. You know, I'll tell you what. If I was Egypt, I'd throw you a party, too.", "BRENNAN: (she smiles, then a beat later.) I have to speak. I hate these things.", "BOOTH: What are you talking about, Bones? You're great at these things. Listen, you changed history. How many people can say that?", "(During the next few lines, Booth and Brennan keep moving closer to one another)", "BRENNAN: You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.", "BOOTH: With your help. So, Andrew...I thought you were going to take him to this thing. That's what he told me.", "BRENNAN: I was, yes, but...you and I - this was our case and I guess...what goes on between us, that should just be ours. Isn't that what you said?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(And then there's a moment where you think that the two of them are finally going to kiss when they hear the murmurings of Angela, Hodgins, Cam, Sweets & Daisy - who then appear at the top of the staircase.)", "ANGELA: Come on, you two. The Ambassador is about to speak.", "(The rest of the group heads back up the stair, leaving Booth & Brennan alone again. They have another moment - she adjusts his tie and he pushes a strand of hair behind her shoulder.)", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "(They turn and walk back up the stairs to go to the party, together.)", "END." ]

[ "When the remains of a local chicken farmer are found mutilated by a nearby river, Booth and Brennan investigate the various suspects, including several animal rights activists who are protesting outside the chicken factory. Angela, feeling bothered by the practices of the chicken farm, asks for donations to save a piglet in which Brennan declines as her belief of saving one will not change anything, causing her to question why they are friends. After Wendell makes a donation to Angela, they kiss and a relationship starts to develop as Angela has now been celibate for five and half months." ]

[ "THE TOUGH MAN IN THE TENDER CHICKEN", "ACT ONE", "(At the Jeffersonian lab. Hodgins and Brennan are seen walking in from the lab entrance)", "HODGINS: Had a feeling that my Melolonta melolonta might hatch this morning, so I came in the crack of dawn, and there they were. Lined up at the door.", "BRENNAN: What? Your Melolonta melolonta?", "HODGINS: No. The woodchucks.", "(A group of girls in scout uniforms are seen standing in front of the lab platform)", "BRENNAN: They appear to be little girls.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Woodchucks are like girl scouts, only scientific and administered by the Jeffersonian. They brought in a dead body.", "BRENNAN: A bunch of little girls brought a dead body here?", "HODGINS: Woodchucks are very industrious mire mucks. (to the woodchucks) Okay! Now this is Dr Temperance Brennan. (the woodchucks starts clapping)", "BRENNAN: (confused) Why are they applauding?", "CAM: Apparently you're their role model.", "HODGINS: I wanna know is why aren't they all freaked out or getting trauma counseling.", "CAM: Because, of the type of children who idolizes Dr Brennan.", "HODGINS: So they were eco-camping by the banks of the savage river.", "CAM: These remains are completely saturated.", "HODGINS: The girls fished the body out of the river and brought it to us.", "BRENNAN: How?", "WOODCHUCK GIRL #1: In our woodchuck bus.", "CAM: Very impressive!", "BRENNAN: I disagree. Those woodchucks disturbed a federal crime scene. The area should be secured, samples taken-", "HODGINS: Yeah. They did all that. Water samples from where the body was found.", "WOODCHUCK GIRL #2: Digital photographs of the entire area.", "HODGINS: Plants, insects, soil samples; tagged with GPS coordinates. Now I know my soil samples, let me tell you; these ladies, they are pros!", "CAM: (whispers to Brennan) Perhaps you should throw them a bone. (Brennan seems surprised) Not literally, metaphorically. After all, they were all very professional.", "BRENNAN: (clears throat) Attention, woodchucks! You were thorough and insidious in your treatment of the body and the crime scene. (woodchucks clap) But next time, please leave the evidence where you found it and let the experienced professionals do their job.", "(Woodchucks making sounds in protest)", "WOODCHUCK GIRL #1: But we helped!", "WOODCHUCK GIRL #2: You're mean!", "(Woodchucks booing at Brennan)", "BRENNAN: (to Cam and Hodgins) Their moods are capricious.", "CAM: You couldn't have just let them have that one just go by.", "BRENNAN: Then they'll never learn.", "(Hodgins smile at Brennan while Cam is speechless)", "(Cut to: Autopsy room. Wendell and Cam are examining the corpse.)", "WENDELL: Ugh. What causes a corpse to smell like a fart?", "CAM: Uh. A number of things. Compromised intestinal tract, methane, some mining processes, oiling gas refining, volcanoes?", "WENDELL: Volcanoes? Awesome! Which of those is it this time?", "CAM: Probably sulphur. Tissue samples indicate a high concentration of hydrogen sulphide.", "WENDELL: X-rays indicate this is a middle aged male, between 170 to 190 cm tall. Skeleton is...pretty banged up.", "CAM: Bouncing around savage river for 2 months can do that.", "WENDELL: (looking at the x-rays) All the distal phalanges are missing from interphalangeal joints.", "CAM: He's missing his fingers, what does that tell you?", "WENDELL: Tells me it was the mobs sweeping off fingerprints.", "CAM: That, very well may be. But what it tells me that you are going out to look for fingertips, in case the woodchucks missed them.", "WENDELL: Body was found by woodchucks?", "CAM: Take Hodgins. He'll explain.", "(Cut to: Parking lot. Wendell and Hodgins are carrying their forensics kits)", "HODGINS: Hydrogen sulphide?", "WENDELL: Yeah. Guy's full of it.", "HODGINS: So he smells basically like a fart.", "WENDELL: Pretty strong to cover up the rotting corpse smell, right? Hey. Maybe somebody drenched in sulphur to deal with the dead body stench. Or maybe someone tried to put him in suspended animation, that would involve sulphides.", "HODGINS: Whoa whoa whoa. You're referring to ultra secret military experiments who prolong life by inducing hibernation?", "WENDELL: Uh. It's not ultra secret. The army is doing field trials. I got a cousin in Iraq, it may be saved his life.", "HODGINS: It's not ultra secret?", "WENDELL: The trouble with getting your infill from conspiracy nuts is that they never know when to turn it off.", "HODGINS: Hey, you wait and see. We're going to find that our victim was tortured a little too enthusiastically when the government tried to bring him back to life.", "WENDELL: Proving my point there, Hodgins. Totally proving my point. Hey, should we call the military possibility in to Booth?", "HODGINS: Yeah! (toss phone at Wendell) Ooh, just leave out my torture theory.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Booth enters a room and greets Brennan & Angela)", "BOOTH: Bones! So you got a face for my victim?", "BRENNAN: Why are you here? I would've call.", "BOOTH: (hands Angela a file) Well, uh, I thought Hodgins might have something on this whole suspension animated thing.", "ANGELA: Hey, you listened to Hodgins?", "BOOTH: I listen to Wendell.", "BRENNAN: What is DARPA?", "ANGELA: It's a department of defense agency. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Hodgins say they're into some pretty weird stuff. Like creating super-soliders who don't need sleep and can kill with their laser beam eyes.", "BOOTH: I don't know about the laser beam eye thing, but they did have a master sergeant missing a few months ago.", "BRENNAN: Was this sergeant involved in the hydrogen sulphide trials?", "BOOTH: Well, they wouldn't confirm. But tell you what, they sounded nervous.", "ANGELA: (flips through the file) There's no photograph in here.", "BOOTH: DARPA doesn't give out photos. You give me a reconstruction though, I can show them that and tell them if we got their guy. What'd you have?", "(Brennan in silence while looking at Angela; Angela finally speaks)", "ANGELA: Okay. Before you freaked out, you should know that I double and triple check the measurements and indicators.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) Look, I don't freak out.", "BRENNAN: (looks at Booth) Some- Sometimes.", "BOOTH: Can we just see the image, please? (face reconstruction shows a chicken-like visage; Booth laughs) Yeah. What's that supposed to be?", "ANGELA: Half man, half chicken?", "BOOTH: Come on!", "BRENNAN: I believe this is fairly accurate.", "BOOTH: So you want me to go ask the defense department if their experimented super soldier is half man, half chicken?", "(Brennan smiles at Booth; while the screen cuts to the facial reconstruction image)", "(Opening credits start playing)", "ACT TWO", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Autopsy room.)", "HODGINS: DARPA created a chicken soldier?!", "WENDELL: I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers, eagle maybe.", "HODGINS: Maybe that's why we couldn't find the so-called fingers. Cause they transformed into talons. (Brennan shoots Hodgins a look) Talons would be much better weapons.", "CAM: Human remains in water tend to lose all their fingers and toes due to predation.", "BRENNAN: But if I were to combine human and animal DNA with an idea to create a super soldier, I would go with a flatworm.", "WENDELL: Why?", "BRENNAN: Self-regeneration, obviously. (Wendell is amused)", "CAM: People, let's break this down as though we're not in a comic book. No water in the sinuses or lungs, no pulmonary edema.", "HODGINS: He didn't drown.", "BRENNAN: Well his sinus cavity is abnormally large.", "CAM: His whole sinus cavity is scarred, the septum's almost gone. Evidence of multiple constrictions of the arterial zypolexics. (Brennan inserts microscopic tube)", "WENDELL: (on the screen) That is a lot of scar tissues we're talking here. Plastic surgery?", "BRENNAN: The scarring could explain why he has a beak-like nose.", "WENDELL: Polyps and tumors in the maxillary sphenoid could enlarge the cavity.", "CAM: The closest thing I've ever seen to that is a cocaine addict who ran out of drugs and started snorting things like sugar and powder-like detergent.", "HODGINS: (points on the screen) Does anyone has an explanation for these red stripes extending from the soft pellet down to the oesophagus?", "CAM: Lacerations?", "HODGINS: Hmm. (to Cam) May I? (Cam shows sign of approval to Hodgins to examine the body; Hodgins examines the inside of the oesophagus) I don't think these are lacerations. (collects red string-like from inside)", "BRENNAN: Is that an organism?", "HODGINS: Syngamus trachea. It's a gapeworm.", "WENDELL: Where it'd come from?", "HODGINS: I think you're not gonna like my answer. Uh, it's a parasite found in...chickens.", "CAM: Do not tell me we're back to super chicken soldier again.", "(All of them are speechless)", "(Cut to: FBI Building. Booth's office)", "BRENNAN: Wendell thinks maybe he was supposed to be an eagle.", "BOOTH: (says something on the phone; then talks to Brennan) You make a super soldier, you'd think it'd be a robot or something invisible.", "BRENNAN: Now you're just delving into pure science fiction.", "BOOTH: (mocking) Like a flatworm, that's not a pure science fiction, or a half chicken; that's not considered science fiction. (over the phone) Yeah. Okay, so we agree he doesn't look like a chicken. No, it's not a joke. Just tell me whoever you're missing at DARPA. (pause) Does your missing sergeant look anything like an animal? Any kind of animal. (pause, then annoyed; ends call) A bulldog.", "BRENNAN: So the defense department won't be claiming the body.", "BOOTH: Nope.", "(Both are in silence; suddenly DMV photo database on Booth's computer shows a hit)", "BOOTH: Ooh. We got a hit off on Angela's chicken man picture. (chuckles) Probably it's from animal shelter. Whoa. God.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: (takes image and compare) Wow. Is Angela good, or is she good?", "BRENNAN: Those are the same question.", "BOOTH: Take a look. (turns monitor to Brennan and comparing it to Angela's image)", "BRENNAN: (takes a closer look) Nick Rabin. He's head personnel of a Clucksten Farms. A chicken farm?", "BOOTH: This is getting weirder and weirder.", "(Cut to: Clucksten Farms entrance. A group of activists are seen standing at the entrance outside; protesting, holding signs going against the activities of the chicken farm.)", "BOOTH: Wonder what they're protesting.", "BRENNAN: My first guess, the stench.", "BOOTH: At least they're not throwing eggs at us, huh? (winds down the car window)", "GUARD: Are you the FBI folks?", "BOOTH: Yeap. (shows FBI ID and badge)", "GUARD: Come on in. We'll find a quieter place to talk.", "(Cut to: Inside of Clucksten Farms)", "BOOTH: So what's with the protestors?", "GUARD: Well, half of them are animal rights nuts.", "BOOTH: (sees large amount of chickens in storage) Whoa. They might have a point.", "BRENNAN: The other half must've hate the smell.", "GUARD: Clucksten Farms has been around since the 1940's. We didn't ask anyone to build a development down here. (walks away; followed by Brennan and Booth)", "BOOTH: Ugh. What's that smell?", "(Cut to: Clucksten Farms personnel office where a woman is seen; the wife of Nick Rabin, Gaynor Rabin)", "GAYNOR: (knock on the door is heard) Yeah. (the guard is seen entering along with Booth and Brennan) Hey John.", "JOHN: Mrs. Rabin. This is Agent Booth and his associate Dr. Brennan from the FBI. (GAYNOR proceeds to shake hands with them) This is Gaynor Rabin. The accountant here at Clucksten Farms, and she's also Nick's wife. (leaves room)", "GAYNOR: This is about my husband. He's dead, isn't he?", "BOOTH: I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry for your loss.", "GAYNOR: What happened to him?", "BRENNAN: We're still in the process of figuring that out.", "BOOTH: You don't seem too surprised.", "GAYNOR: Nick was never the type who just disappear, I knew right away it was something terrible. Where'd you find him?", "BRENNAN: In a savage river. Approximately 16 kilometers from here.", "GAYNOR: He drowned? (Brennan doesn't reply) I don't understand. He never swam in that river.", "BRENNAN: Your husband's nose and sinuses were deformed. He didn't take the proper precautions at work, did he?", "GAYNOR: No, I told him but he didn't care.", "BOOTH: (whispers to Brennan) Precautions from turning him into a chicken?", "BRENNAN: It's the hydrogen sulphide. We smell without breathing apparatus, high concentrations over a period of time would deform the sinuses.", "GAYNOR: Nick worked here since he was a teenager. He said he was a chicken farmer and he would take the consequences. How did my husband end up in the river?", "BOOTH: We were hoping maybe you could help us with that.", "GAYNOR: When I filed the missing persons report, I told the police everything. He just disappeared.", "BRENNAN: We have reason to believe this wasn't an accidental drowning.", "GAYNOR: (in disbelief) You think my husband was murdered?", "BOOTH: Yes.", "GAYNOR: Mr Clucksten said Nick was next in line to take over the business. (furious) The first people that you wanna check out are those anti chicken fanatics at the gate. They always threatened to make an example out of someone.", "(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab. Hodgins is examining some samples while Angela walks in.)", "ANGELA: 5 months and 14 days, I have been celibate.", "HODGINS: Angela, that is very impressive.", "ANGELA: Thank you. Sweets was right. Taking s*x out of that equation made me relate to people in a totally different way.", "HODGINS: Yeah. You got past that mega horny stage.", "ANGELA: The point is, that my six months is almost up. So..(smiles at Hodgins)", "HODGINS: (smiles back) No.", "ANGELA: No what?", "HODGINS: I'm not going to be the one who breaks your fast.", "ANGELA: I-Iwasn't asking! In fact, you should know that I'm considering a year.", "HODGINS: (laughs) It's definitely a chicken parasite we found in the victim's oesophagus.", "ANGELA: (in disbelief) I wasn't asking, Jack. I was just-keeping you in the loop. (walks away)", "HODGINS: Okay.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(Cut to Clucksten Farms. Head of Security JOHN COLLINS takes Brennan and Booth to meet the protesters when they witness a farm worker, GINA MCNAMARA, being confronted by the angry mob.)", "PROTESTER 1#: Cluck you, cluck you!", "GINA: Get outta my face, go get a job!", "PROTESTER 1#: Murderer!", "GINA: What'd you want me to do?!", "(Gina and protester continues to argue; John tries to break up the fight by confronting Gina)", "JOHN: You're just giving them what they want.", "GINA: Look, damnit. I just wanna do my job, that's all!", "JOHN: Just go. You don't want to be late for your shift. (Gina walks away; Booth and Brennan looks on)", "BRENNAN: (to John) These people don't seem to like the way you treat the chickens.", "JOHN: So how do you treat your chickens? Like delicious birds that people love to eat.", "BOOTH: Look, anyone here in particular who had a beef with Nick Rabin?", "JOHN: (points out to a guy) Josh Parsons. He snuck in, he took some unauthorized video, cut it together in a damning manner and put it on the Internet. Nick popped him one too.", "BOOTH: (approaches Josh) FBI Special Agent Booth. This here is Dr Temperance Brennan.", "JOSH: You here to protect them while they mistreat and torture these chickens on this farm and the people who downwind of this elimination?", "BOOTH: You practice that speech much, pal?", "BRENNAN: We found Nick Rabin's body.", "BOOTH: As of now, you are our No 1 suspect.", "JOSH: Oh please, I didn't kill anyone. I'm an extreme pacifist.", "BRENNAN: That's an oxymoron. You're either extreme or pacifist. You can't be both.", "JOSH: You, are working as a tool of the poultry lobbyist. Code Yellow! Code Yellow!", "(The protesters poured corn syrup and paper feathers onto them)", "BOOTH: Okay, you do know that you're all under arrest, right?", "ACT THREE", "(Cut to: FBI building. Interrogation room. Sweets and Booth are interrogating Josh Parsons after they played the footage edited by Josh)", "SWEETS: That's your voice, isn't it?", "JOSH: Yes. And I'm proud of my work.", "SWEETS: The FBI believes you snuck into the premises to record a second video. You were caught by Nick Rabin and you killed him.", "BOOTH: That's exactly what happened.", "SWEETS: I don't think it played out that way.", "BOOTH: Ducky Sweets here says you're not the type who could kill except in self defense.", "JOSH: I never attacked anyone.", "BOOTH: Oh really? Because you tar and feathered me.", "JOSH: It was just corn syrup and paper feathers. And I didn't sneak in and take that video footage. I got back to my bicycle one night and there was an envelope.", "BOOTH: I'm gonna need the name of your chicken spy inside.", "JOSH: No.", "BOOTH: And the original footage, not the stuff you cut out here.", "JOSH: I will absolutely not turn over to you any information entrusted to me by a courageous individual who risks his or her job to aid innocent creatures who aren't able to defend themselves.", "BOOTH: Oh, you know what, you don't want to hand in the original footage, I'm gonna charge you for assaulting a federal agent.", "SWEETS: Hmm, that's what, $200,000 fine and one year in a federal prison.", "BOOTH: You know, if you're locked up, who's going to speak for the chickens, huh pal? [attempts to leave the room]", "JOSH: Okay, okay! Just hold on. (takes out a USB drive from his pocket & tosses it to Booth) That's the raw video footage, exactly how I got it.", "SWEETS: See, it all worked out great.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab)", "CAM: Cause of death, Mr Bray?", "WENDELL: Most of the fractures are post-mortem. And the bone bruising prior to the dam and getting stuck to the whirlpool at the bottom.", "CAM: Like going through a giant washing machine.", "WENDELL: Yeah. But, this cervical vertrabrae damage is not post mortem. This is an on-damage cervical section. Here's our victim. The C2 vertabrae rotated laterally while the ligaments and facets of the transverse process were severed and locked.", "CAM: A broken neck.", "WENDELL: Fracture patterns suggest a writhing motion.", "CAM: You mean wrung?", "WENDELL: Yeah.", "CAM: You mean the chicken man was killed by having his neck wrung?", "WENDELL: Yeah. Ironic right?", "CAM: We are going to have to catalogue all these injuries chronologically. Talk to Angela, see if she has any imaging technique that can help.", "(Cut to: Angela's room. She watches the chicken footage with Brennan.)", "ANGELA: Nearly 10 billion chickens are hatched annually. Most in places like this.", "BRENNAN: It's like a warhouse.", "ANGELA: Yeah, each chicken is given a less than half foot space. And look at this part, the little baby chicks get their beaks cut off.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "ANGELA: Supposedly to keep them from fighting.", "BRENNAN: Why would they fight if they're penned up?", "ANGELA: The stress of being jammed together, it gets crazy.", "BRENNAN: You upset?", "ANGELA: Yeah. I am. Aren't you?", "BRENNAN: I'm-- not certain how sension these chickens are.", "ANGELA: (frustrated) Yeah, but they can feel. I mean you can see that they can. And you know what else? If it turns out there was a chicken revolution and they off this guy, I am with them.", "BRENNAN: It's our job to figure out who killed this human being.", "ANGELA: Yeah. I guess.", "BRENNAN: Because it probably wasn't a chicken revolution. It was probably another human being.", "ANGELA: (smiles) Fine. I was able to extract the metadata that was embedded in the original video file. Time and date the video was taken and aperture make and model of the camera including the serial number.", "BRENNAN: Could you trace the serial number?", "ANGELA: Yeah. The owner sent in the manufacturer's warranty which included the serial number.", "BRENNAN: (squints at the name) Gaynor Rabin. The victim's wife. Thank you, Angela. And I'm sorry that the chickens made you feel bad. (leaves the room)", "(Angela chases after Brennan; showing her something)", "ANGELA: Hey. What about pigs? Pigs are sension.", "BRENNAN: That's a non sequitur.", "ANGELA: Pigs make bacon. Not only are they sension, they're smarter than dogs.", "BRENNAN: I don't eat bacon. I'm vegetarian.", "ANGELA: Yeah, for health reasons. Listen, Brennan. (holds up a photo of a piglet) I wanna save this little piglet.", "BRENNAN: That particular specific piglet?", "ANGELA: Yeah. And that would be $1500. Are you in?", "BRENNAN: (laughs) No.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but look at his face. How can you resist this face?", "BRENNAN: Saving one chicken or pig is symbolic at best.", "ANGELA: This is not a symbol, this is a face. It worries me that you can look into these eyes and be so cold.", "BRENNAN: I'm sure he's a fine piglet-", "ANGELA: How are we friends? How is it possible? We have nothing in common.", "BRENNAN: What, you don't want to be friends anymore, because the pig is cute?", "(Angela walks away from Brennan)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner)", "SWEETS: What if the victim used the wife's camera to strike back at the company that disfigured him?", "BOOTH: Maybe, he was having an affair.", "SWEETS: Or maybe she was sick of kissing the guy with a beak. Oh woah! Hey, today's specials; chicken. Ironic.", "BOOTH: Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there is something wrong with you, something's wrong, alright? What can I do to help you?", "BRENNAN: Angela and I had a fight.", "BOOTH: Nothing I can do to help.", "BRENNAN: You want to hear about it.", "BOOTH: No.", "SWEETS: Why not?", "BOOTH: Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree Angela was wrong and those two are gonna make up, and they're both going to be mad at me. No thank you.", "SWEETS: That's very interesting.", "BOOTH: You know the way you say 'very interesting' is very irritating. (Sweets didn't reply) Listen, Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you, I would kill for you, but I am not getting in between two best friends.", "BRENNAN: Okay. What were you saying, Sweets?", "SWEETS: Hmm? Oh! Oh uh, I've been considering the symbolism of this murder. Tossing him into a dam isn't very chicken-ny. You'd think the victim would show up in a rotisserie or a deep frier.", "BRENNAN: I remember a month ago, a chicken restaurant chain reported human phalanges in deep fried treats.", "BOOTH: Kid bit into a thumb.", "SWEETS: Mom ate a toe. It was uh, Buck Buck Chicken's Hut.", "BOOTH: Maybe the toes are our victim's.", "SWEETS: Totally pulled the justice.", "BRENNAN: If you could get the body parts from the chicken treats to the Jeffersonian, we'll see if it match our victim.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "BRENNAN: I'm going back to the lab. Send the fingers over when you find them. (about to leave)", "BOOTH: (grabs Brennan's hand) Whoa, Bones. Everything is going to be okay between you and Angela. Alright? You two are like sisters.", "BRENNAN: I'm just not used-to not getting along with people.", "SWEETS: Seriously? Cause it seems like- (Booth kicks Sweets under the table; Booth smiles at Brennan reassuring her everything will be alright)", "BRENNAN: Thanks, Booth. Just bring in the human parts tomorrow and (pats his hand; giving him a reassuring smile) I'll take a look. (walks away)", "SWEETS: You combined your 'don't get between women' rule and 'you're like sisters' observation, I come up with you dated sisters.", "BOOTH: [laughs] They're identical twins. Yeah, it was all wrong.", "SWEETS: No, it's all right!", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Cam and Brennan are at the lab platform)", "CAM: These have been frozen, fried, microwaved, bitten, spat out and preserved as evidence.", "BRENNAN: Bone density would indicate that all 4 digits came from the same person.", "CAM: They all came from the same local chain chicken restaurant.", "BRENNAN: Buck Buck.", "CAM: Beg your pardon?", "BRENNAN: Buck Buck Chicken's Hut. Is Clucksten a supplier?", "CAM: They're one of them. No way in telling where these particular human nuggets came from.", "BRENNAN: So lack of bruising on the bone at the precision point-", "CAM: Removed post mortem. So not torture obviously.", "BRENNAN: There are some symmetrical slice marks, pitching from the center of the bone tissue.", "CAM: Removed with shears?", "BRENNAN: You should do a DNA test of course. I'm confident all 4 body parts came from Nick Rabin.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT FOUR", "(Cut to: Sweets' office. Sweets walks in to see Angela already seated in one of the sofas)", "ANGELA: Hey.", "SWEETS: Are you here because of your argument with Dr Brennan?", "ANGELA: No- no. I'm here for a donation. She told you about our fight?", "SWEETS: No. Booth figured it out. Donation for what?", "ANGELA: (holds up a picture of a piglet) It's gonna cost $1500 to save this piglet. (Sweets is speechless) How much are you in for?", "SWEETS: Are those tears in your eyes?", "ANGELA: I just can't stop thinking about this little piglet.", "SWEETS: Okay. I'm gonna suggest perhaps it's time for you to, abandon celibacy a little early.", "ANGELA: What does that have to do with anything?", "SWEETS: You're forming an inappropriately strong attachments to photographs of baby animals. Your libido is being rerouted. You need to come back to the world.", "ANGELA: Wait a minute, inappropriate my ass. (gets up to leave) Can I ask, what is wrong with everyone here?", "SWEETS: Uh, you had a falling out with your best friend over a pig. Your perspective is skewed. It's time to reconnect with humanity. Gain a little perspective.", "ANGELA: Okay. Alright, so if I have s*x, will you donate to save my pig?", "SWEET:S It's not really- the point I was gonna- We'll revisit the pig question.", "ANGELA: (hands over photo to Sweets) You can keep this. I have multiples. (walks out)", "(Cut to: FBI Building. Interrogation room where Gaynor Rabins is being interrogated by Booth)", "GAYNOR: You think I kill my husband? Cut off his thumbs? Dump him over the savage river dam?", "BOOTH: Thumbs and toes, yes. Oh, do you recognize this? (plays chicken footage)", "GAYNOR: It's the video those peg people put on the internet.", "BOOTH: Right, it was taken with your camera.", "GAYNOR: You're making that up, you can't possibly know that.", "BOOTH: We can prove that. Let's start this all over again. Did you, take this footage?", "GAYNOR: Yes, I took it.", "BOOTH: Did you give it to Josh Parsons?", "GAYNOR: Yes, I did. I wanted Clucksten shut down.", "BOOTH: Why? I mean, your husband is next in line to take over the business.", "GAYNOR: Because I was tired of getting threatening phone calls, tired of being hated in my own town, but most of all, Agent Booth, is I wanted my husband to get his real face back. So I gave the footage to the activists.", "BOOTH: How is it possible that your husband's thumbs ended up on the menu?", "GAYNOR: Easy. Toss them into the nuggets before they're breaded, fried, and frozen for shipment.", "BOOTH: Are you suggesting that the killer was working in Clucksten Farms? (Gaynor nods) You realized Clucksten is doomed after this.", "GAYNOR: Yeah.", "BOOTH: So you got exactly what you wanted.", "GAYNOR: No Agent Booth, I did not. What I wanted was my husband back.", "BOOTH: I understand. Is there anyone else who benefits from Clucksten Farms going under?", "GAYNOR: Probably the anti-smell people. The people who stay downwind.", "BOOTH: I need a name. That's all.", "GAYNOR: The main clear-air nut is Roy Meyers. He's a baker with a shop two miles down Clucksten Farms.", "(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab. Angela's room. Wendell works in to see Angela with a file)", "WENDELL: Hey, I got some more date on the bone bruising.", "ANGELA: Hey. So I need $1500.", "WENDELL: I need about $14000 to repay student loans. What'd you need your money for?", "ANGELA: (holds up photo of pig) I need to save this pig.", "WENDELL: Being made into bacon?", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "WENDELL: (pauses) I love bacon. I love ribs. I love steak. I love meat- I'm a meater. And I'm not apologetic about it.", "ANGELA: Look at his face. (holds up the photo higher; waiting for a response from Wendell)", "WENDELL: Look Angela, I'm sorry. Here's 20- 25- 45 dollars? Take it all. (smiles at her) It'll save your pig.", "(Touched and thrilled, Angela kisses him, and he passionately kisses her back)", "(Cut to: Roy Meyer's bakery. Booth and Brennan approaches Roy Meyer)", "BOOTH: Roy Meyers?", "MEYERS: Yes.", "BOOTH: FBI. Agent Booth. This here is Dr Temperance Brennan. We understand you're trying to get the state to shut down Clucksten Farms?", "MEYERS: Sure. Because no one would come in and make it through the stench.", "BRENNAN: They were here first?", "MEYERS: Yeah. Back when it was a free range chicken ranch but it's a beast now. Factory farm; heartless. Reasonable people call it. Uh, you'll excuse me, [takes out a cigar] I took this in a way to get fresh air, as ironic as that sounds.", "BRENNAN: Considering your malodorous habit, would you say that your dispute with Clucksten Farms is more financially motivated than health related?", "MEYERS: Sure. You know how a baker sells its wares?", "BOOTH: Yeah. People smell the bread from outside, they go inside, they spend a dough.", "MEYERS: Thanks to Clucksten Farms, to smell my cinnamon buns, people have to jam their noses right in that damn thing.", "BOOTH: Clucksten Farms is trying to put you out of business.", "BRENNAN: Can I take a look at that?", "MEYERS: Yeah [gives her the cigar cutter] Me and anybody else who relies on the sense of smell, sense of taste.", "BRENNAN: [holds the cigar cutter] Will your thumb fir into this hole?", "BOOTH: Whoa whoa oh. You don't stick that into my thumb. It's like a mini gilatin.", "MEYERS: You wanna be careful with that. It's sharp as a razor. It'll nip your thumb off in a jippy. [Booth & Brennan looks at him] What? It's a federal crime to own a cigar clipper?", "ACT FIVE", "(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab, Bone Room.)", "ANGELA: The human eye can also receive colors between wavelengths of 400 and 750 nanometers.", "WENDELL: This full spectrum light source simulate both the visible and UV spectrum. Angela is brilliant.", "ANGELA: [smiles at Wendell] So we run the image through the spectroscope, then now we can detect the color difference that is not visible to the human eye.", "WENDELL: [points at screen] I was able to confirm these are post mortem bruises, likely caused my rocks and debris while the victim was travelling down river.", "ANGELA: Right, then we assigned all post mortem bruising with one distinct color, and peri mortem with another. Injuries sustained before death will appear red and after death, black.", "WENDELL: Save me hours and hours of work.", "CAM: This is what happens when two people with different disciplines find each other and work closely. [Wendell & Angela look awkwardly at each other; Cam notices] Can you highlight the peri mortem bruising?", "WENDELL: Evenly spaced circular impact bruises on the right temporal sphenoid region continuing along the frontal and pivotal bones; all of them have identical directionality.", "CAM: What the hell would leave marks like that?", "WENDELL: What kind of machine?", "CAM: And why they stop there?", "WENDELL: Something stops the weapon from striking down into the skull in this area.", "HODGINS: (walks in) The microscopic metal deposits on the thumb bone does not match the baker's cigar cutter. But fortunately, I'm very thorough and tenacious.", "(Cut to: Hodgins' lab)", "HODGINS: There was evidence of streaming nuclei in the bone cells.", "WENDELL: That was my job to find.", "HODGINS: It's okay, kid. Around here, we step in for each other when needed.", "ANGELA: [surprised] What?", "HODGINS: [turns to look at Angela] Hmm?", "ANGELA: [Wendell looks at her; she recalls] Oh you mean work.", "HODGINS: Yeah, what did you mean?", "ANGELA: Work. I agree, it's work. Can we move on?", "CAM: So we have electricity?", "ANGELA: Who?", "CAM: Streaming nuclei suggest voltage.", "ANGELA: Oh, oh, I know.", "WENDELL: Like self cauterizing blade.", "HODGINS: There's gotta be something like that in a place that kills thousands of chickens everyday. Ahh, here we go. This has narrowed it down. He had beak and feather disease virus.", "WENDELL: Beak and feather disease in his thumb?", "CAM: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that what we're looking for is a self cauterizing instrument that cuts beak and feathers.", "ANGELA: Wait a minute, the video.", "(Cut to: FBI interrogation room. Video footage of chicken is playing and then is paused at a scene)", "BOOTH: That's you right, Miss McNamara?", "McNAMARA: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Your occupation is \"Beak Clipper\"?", "McNAMARA: Baby chicks are jammed so close together, they get stressed, attack each other; it's my job to cut off the tip of their beaks.", "BOOTH: [disgusted] It isn't a good job to have.", "McNAMARA: I got demoted from Plucker. Bet you didn't know there was something worse than Plucker.", "BOOTH: When you were demoted, was that before or after you charged Nick Rabin for sexual harassment?", "McNAMARA: After. Go figure. Nick was a groper. Never saw the guy coming. It got over, real fast.", "BRENNAN: How much training do you need to run the \"Beak Clipping\" machine?", "McNAMARA: None. It got to be a person who is willing to cut off the beak of the newborn chicks. Why?", "BRENNAN: Because your machine was used to remove Nick's thumbs and big toes.", "McNAMARA: Hey! If I was to cut something off Nick Rabin, it would not be his thumb.", "BOOTH: Okay. Usually what people do right now is they insist they didn't kill anyone.", "McNAMARA: Well, maybe I fantasize about it too many times, I actually did it.", "BOOTH: Do you know anything about Nick Rabin's death or his mutilation body?", "McNAMARA: No. But still, if you could arrange it, I wouldn't mind getting away from Clucksten and spending a few days in jail.", "(Booth and Brennan looks in disbelief)", "(Cut to: FBI Building, Sweets' room)", "BRENNAN: I don't need a professional consultation, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Well, this is not that. This is just a friendly conversation.", "BRENNAN: Angela will come around.", "SWEETS: You're certain she will?", "BRENNAN: Yeah. Eventually, Angela will see the rational nature of my argument.", "SWEETS: [repeats] She will come around.", "BRENNAN: I already said that.", "SWEETS: Hey! Crazy thought. What if, this time you came around?", "BRENNAN: Saving one pig is an irrational act. Are you suggesting that I should point that out to Angela more clearly? Because that would make this conversation very much like a professional consultation.", "SWEETS: No, I'm suggesting in a very friendly conversational way, that you help her save that one pig.", "BRENNAN: But we both agreed that it's a meaningless act.", "SWEETS: Meaningless by your definition, not Angela's.", "BRENNAN: My definition is correct.", "SWEETS: Yes. And if life was simply a debate, you would win, hands down. But we know, this isn't a debate. It's something much tougher. You know our very work shows us that, that those people, that call the world an abattoir -- a slaughterhouse -- they have a point. Now you handle that knowledge by imposing this, gossamer web of rationality, over the ugliness. Angela has a very different way of handling. Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan. (pauses) Sometimes you just make your friend happy.", "BRENNAN: But, even if it's irrational? (Sweets doesn't reply; Brennan slowly smiles in understanding. She picks up the photo of the pig) He is very, very cute. I mean, almost like he's smiling.", "(Brennan and Sweets smile at each other)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab)", "HODGINS: Wendell and I have been testing chicken factory implements in order to find something that would leave symmetrical marks on the victim.", "(Brennan walks in)", "CAM: Searching for the murder weapon.", "BRENNAN: Did you find it yet?", "WENDELL: Uh no, but we have the parameters.", "HODGINS: Mr Bray, please resume in position. (gesturing him to take a seat)", "WENDELL: The skull was struck repeatedly.", "HODGINS: We need somebody to actually spin Wendell on the stool.", "CAM: (hesitant) Yeah, I don't roll the interns. Perhaps Angela would do it.", "(Wendell snaps the headcap suddenly)", "BRENNAN: I'll do it.", "HODGINS: (using paintbrush on Wendell) Okay, it appears as if the victim was turning and, or rolling.", "CAM: Someone rolling?", "HODGINS: As it appears.", "BRENNAN: The directionality indicates that.", "WENDELL: (still spinning) Can I stop turning while you discuss this?", "HODGINS: Not yet, dude. Now we haven't determined is what he would've rolled on that would've done this.", "BRENNAN: Oh! What if! What if, the victim wasn't spinning. What if, the weapon was spinning.", "WENDELL: Oh, thank you God. (Brennan pushes him forward)", "BRENNAN: The bruises had common directionality, it's likely that the victim was faced down (twist Wendell's head slightly) at an angle. If the implement striking the victim's head, was spinning (taking the paintbrush & hitting it on Wendell's head; Cam feels sorry for him) I- I know, which piece of equipment causes these bone bruises and the victim's neck at the same time.", "ACT SIX", "(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab, Booth is bringing in the chicken machinery on Brennan's request)", "BOOTH: Yeaap, here we go. (starts making machine sounds) Hey Bones! Look at this, huh? Serve the warrant for your chicken plucker!", "CAM: Oh,we got blood (flashes UV light on machinery)", "BOOTH: From the chickens?", "BRENNAN: No. The chickens are drained by the time they get here. They'll barely be any blood left. (Brennan picks up a piece of fibre found)", "BOOTH: Whoa kay, what's that?", "BRENNAN: If my theory turn out to be correct, it'll turn out to be a fragment of the victim's necktie. (places it in evidence bag) I'm going to need your tie to test the theory.", "BOOTH: You mean the tie I'm wearing right now? But-", "BRENNAN: (ignoring him) Uh-huh. (unties Booth's necktie) I'm not certain if the tie will be ruined. (turns out the machine)", "CAM: The Jeffersonian will reimbursed it if needed.", "BOOTH: It's just a tie.", "BRENNAN: The murderer and victim struggle. Victim's tie enter the chicken plucker (places tie inside) That amount of force would definitely wrung the victim's neck.", "CAM: Uh-oh.", "BRENNAN: What? My reasoning is flawless.", "BOOTH: Shut that off, will ya? Your theory suggest it was an accident.", "BRENNAN: No. I disagree.", "CAM: They fight, tie gets caught inevitably.", "BRENNAN: No. (points at screen) This pattern has a missing component. Here. Suggest something block the strike. Obviously the murderer's hand. Like this. (places her hand on the side of Booth's face) You should see if an employee of Clucksten Farms was treated for a broken hand.", "(Cam nods in agreement)", "(Cut to: FBI interrogation room. John Collins is being brought in.)", "BRENNAN: (holds up an xray) These fractures to your 2nd and 3rd metacarpals in your left hand, they are caused by being struck.", "BOOTH: That ain't smart.", "COLLINS: How did you get my xrays?", "BOOTH: The judge decided that we have reasonable cause. Pulled a warrant. So why would the Head of Security reaches into a moving chicken plucker?", "COLLINS: 8 years, I worked in that hell hole. Why? (takes out a photo from his wallet)", "BRENNAN: (looks at photo) Your wife?", "COLLINS: We were going to have kids. But she got sick because she worked at Cluckstens.", "BRENNAN: Did you have evidence of that?", "COLLINS: That's exactly what Nick asked. When we move into the next county, she got better. That's evidence enough, if you ask me. All I wanted from Nick, was gas allowance.", "BOOTH: And he said no.", "COLLINS: We shoved each other a bit, I guess. His tie got stuck into the chicken plucker. I reached in, I tried to save him, and that's how my hand got broke!", "BOOTH: You didn't intend to kill him?", "COLLINS: No! God, no.", "BOOTH: (feeling sorry for him) Oh okay, I understand.", "BRENNAN: (shocked by Booth's reply) Booth. I know you trust your gut, but you're wrong this time. (to Collins) The directionality of these fractures show that your hand was on Nick Rabin's face when it went into the machine. You pushed him, you killed him.", "(Booth & Brennan exchange glances; Collins finally admits)", "COLLINS: I drive 68 miles to work everyday, and all I wanted was gas allowance. I worked there 8 years! Just a gas allowance, so my wife can stay healthy.", "(Booth finds it difficult to accept that Collins was lying earlier after he confesses to committing a murder)", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers bar. The entire team is seen having a drink or two)", "BRENNAN: Would you like one of those fruity drinks?", "BOOTH: No.", "(Brennan and Angela exchange glances)", "BOOTH: You know he fooled me, he fooled me. I actually believed he was trying to save the victim.", "BRENNAN: He's a very good liar.", "BOOTH: Bones, I can tell, when people are lying. Or I could tell, before my whole, rectal cerebral - infracture.", "BRENNAN: (chuckles) That's not a real medical condition.", "BOOTH: (not amused) You sure? Cause that's not what I'm feeling right now.", "BRENNAN: If it were real, it would be pretty disgusting. Rectal, cerebral-", "BOOTH: Bones, I'm losing it. I'm- I'm not up to speed here. I woke up this morning, and I realized I didn't even know if I like brown sugar ion my oatmeal.", "BRENNAN: Well next time, call me. You like brown sugar on everything.", "BOOTH: I'm the one, who's supposed to know when people are lying. Who do I call up for that?", "BRENNAN: (thinks) Sweets.", "BOOTH: Sweets?", "BRENNAN: You said he's like a human lie detector test.", "BOOTH: I don't like things at half speed okay? I'm a full-speed kinda guy.", "BRENNAN: Well even at half speed, you're still twice as fast as anyone else.", "BOOTH: (slowly smiles) You wanna see the fastest draw in the west?", "BRENNAN: Sure.", "BOOTH: You want to see it again?", "BRENNAN: (laughs; then recalls something & takes out a photo of Angela's pig) Sweets thinks I should humor Angela.", "BOOTH: Sweets is a bright kid.", "BRENNAN: But I want to know what you think. As a full grown man of experience. I need to know what you think.", "BOOTH: I think you should let her have this one. (Brennan smiles at him; turns to leave) Where you going? (she holds up her chequebook) What, you mean now? I don't mean, this second.", "(Brennan is seen making her way to Angela, they talk for a while before they both started smiling and hugging each other. Booth smiles while watching them. Brennan passes Angela the cheque. Booth observes the intimacy between Wendell and Angela before Wendell realizes. Brennan returns back to her seat)", "BRENNAN: Angela seems to be very happy.", "BOOTH: I can see that.", "BRENNAN: You certainly said that in a funny way. (realizes that Booth is hiding something) You noticed something! See? You still got it! (smiles widely)", "BOOTH: You're not gonna ask me what I saw?", "BRENNAN: Do I wanna know?", "BOOTH: No. (chuckles) Do you wanna know anyway?", "BRENNAN: Nope! It can wait. I trust you.", "(They both share a toast)", "END." ]

[ "Booth, still suffering some lingering effects from his brain surgery, has to get re-certified for FBI marksmanship, but is not the accurate shot he was before going under the knife. Meanwhile, the team at the Jeffersonian investigates the remains of a little person discovered in a sinkhole. The victim, Bryce DaFonte, also known as \"The Iron Leprechaun,\" competed in a popular wrestling league, but the popularity of the franchise left him with many enemies, including bitter competitors and scorned lovers, any of whom could have caused his downfall." ]

[ "(Open: Shooting range, several people firing at targets. Pan across to Booth firing shots in quick succession. He pauses. A man nearby spots him and lifts his protective head gear.)", "CARSON: Hey, Booth, right?", "BOOTH: Huh?", "CARSON: You're a legendary shot, man! I'm Carson.", "BOOTH: I'm concentrating.", "CARSON: Heard you could shoot a hole through the middle of a dime on the run.", "(Booth puts his earpiece back in, clearly not in the mood to converse. He fires more shots, and then presses the button to bring the target towards him. The shots are haphazard; inaccurate. Not what he had been hoping for.)", "CARSON: 'Scuse me. Obviously got the wrong guy.", "(Booth looks shocked and confused.)", "(Cut to: Sweets' office. Sweets is packing away his paperwork. Booth enters.)", "BOOTH: Aw, great, I was worried you'd be gone.", "SWEETS: Uh, almost gone.", "BOOTH: Well, almost is almost, so - if I ask you a question, can you answer it in plain language?", "SWEETS: Yeah, I'll do my best.", "(They sit down.)", "BOOTH: Great. So, uh... (Sweets picks up a notepad and pen, preparing to take notes. Booth laughs somewhat frustratedly.)... okay, what's our deal?", "SWEETS: Our deal?", "BOOTH: Yeah, yeah, what... what are you? FBI shrink, friend, objective observer?", "SWEETS: Oh oh oh, you wanna know my primary role, okay. Well, that depends upon a number of factors.", "BOOTH: Sweets! Plain language.", "SWEETS: The FBI hires me to evaluate agents - you're an agent.", "BOOTH: So, FBI first, me second.", "SWEETS: No! No no no, Agent Booth, that's not what I meant.", "BOOTH: (his phone rings) It's okay, Sweets, I get it.", "SWEETS: Please, let me finish!", "BOOTH: You just called me 'Agent Booth', that says it all, 'Dr Sweets'. Y'know, I learned the importance of vocabulary choices from you, and I gotta go catch a murderer.", "(Booth exits.)", "SWEETS: ...Booth. (He throws his pad down in frustration.)", "(Cut to: Crime scene, road collapse. Booth and Brennan exit Booth's car, Brennan putting on her gear.)", "BRENNAN: Why aren't you cracking wise?", "BOOTH: Why? Because it's not 1945.", "BRENNAN: Shall I start making jokes?", "BOOTH: Just let it flow naturally, okay Bones?", "BRENNAN: Well I've noticed in the past when you're grumpy, your mood tends to elevate when you tell me about it.", "BOOTH: Just had a bad day on the range.", "BRENNAN: Is that a cowboy metaphor?", "BOOTH: No, it's... this week I have to re-certify as a marksmen, and I - I don't know if I'm gonna make the grade!", "BRENNAN: Well, obviously you need more practice.", "BOOTH: Maybe this is all because of my brain tumor.", "BRENNAN: Highly unlikely, given aiming a firearm involves your cerebellum and occipital lobe, while your brain tumor is temporal parietal. Perhaps you should speak to Sweets.", "BOOTH: Meaning what, that this is psychological?", "(Brennan tilts her head and her expression indicates that this is a possibility.)", "BOOTH: No, I-I can't talk to Sweets!", "BRENNAN: Why not?", "BOOTH: Why? Because he works for the FBI, he's gonna be along telling the Bureau that I'm all loopy doopy doopy, I can't have that - (They meet Officer Novarro on the street.) - sinkhole?", "NOVARRO: Oh, no thanks, I already got one. That's it over there, big sucker.", "(Brennan is amused; Booth, not so much.)", "BOOTH: Now let's not do that right now, Officer Novarro.", "NOVARRO: All business FBI, gotcha. Road collapsed about four am, broken water main. Took a car down with it, nobody got hurt. Mostly pumped out now.", "BRENNAN: Then why are we here?", "(The road collapse becomes apparent, with a ladder leading down to where the body was found.)", "NOVARRO: Because you're the bones people, right? We've got bones!", "BRENNAN: Woah, they're green! That is very interesting. (She begins to climb down the ladder.)", "BOOTH: Be careful, Bones.", "NOVARRO: They don't look right, if you ask me.", "BOOTH: Why, because they look so green?", "NOVARRO: Get closer. That's not all that's wrong with 'em.", "(Booth climbs down the ladder, but doesn't join Brennan at the bottom.)", "BRENNAN: Definitely human. The evidence down here has been totally compromised by water.", "BOOTH: Is it a kid?", "BRENNAN: Uh, you mean because of the small stature? No. Dentition indicates late twenties. Male.", "BOOTH: Why is he green?", "BRENNAN: Well, that's not really our highest priority.", "BOOTH: Wait wait - how can being green not be a priority, Bones?", "BRENNAN: (She finds something.) Ah, gold coin! (She throws it to Booth, who catches it.)", "BOOTH: Look at that, Bones! Heeey!", "(The water main breaks, creating a rainbow illusion over Brennan.)", "BRENNAN: Oh, what happened?", "BOOTH: Water main break. Alright, you got another water main break down here - but look at that, Bones! You are at the end of a beautiful rainbow!", "BRENNAN: Where I am is at the bottom of a muddy pit!", "BOOTH: Okay, think about it. End of a rainbow, little green guy, gold coins, what does that tell you?", "BRENNAN: That I need an umbrella, and that the remains are horribly compromised.", "BOOTH: Tells me leprechaun. (He closes his eyes.)", "BRENNAN: Are you praying?", "BOOTH: I'm making a wish.", "BRENNAN: Same thing, really. Rather than counting on superstition to make you shoot more accurately, you should just practice more.", "BOOTH: (peeved) Thanks. Okay, why don't we just get Darby O'Gill there out of the pit, and back to the lab, alright? Somebody shut the water off!", "(Booth walks away. Brennan looks back up to him, smiling affectionately.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Opening Credits)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Open - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform. Vincent is examining the victim's body.)", "VINCENT: Leprechauns are thought to explode if you touch them with a broom handle.", "CAM: A: These remains show no signs of being exploded, and B: ... I think you can guess B.", "VINCENT: There are no such things as leprechauns.", "CAM: This is good; we're developing a short hand.", "VINCENT: The large skull and torso, combined with short limbs and evidence of hypotonia points to achondroplasia.", "CAM: Dwarfism.", "VINCENT: Indeed.", "(Hodgins appears on the screen. He is at the crime scene.)", "HODGINS: Think I know why our victim's bones are green. The soil is lousy with iron oxides. That combined with the acidic ground water turned the calcium in the bones green.", "CAM: How long would that take?", "HODGINS: Depends. How far down in the bone does the green color extend?", "VINCENT: Two to three millimeters.", "HODGINS: I'm gonna go with two to five months.", "CAM: So, we have time of death, if not cause.", "VINCENT: Most of the abrasions to these bones were caused very recently.", "CAM: Well, a car fell on the remains last night, that's gonna be a factor.", "VINCENT: The question is how did our leprechaun end up buried twenty feet under the street... wearing only his knickers?", "CAM: Most likely scenario is that he was murdered, and tossed in a storm drain, service tunnel, or sewer.", "VINCENT: A sixty percent subluxation between the scapula and the humerus indicates that his right shoulder was dislocated.", "CAM: Congruent with having being dragged?", "VINCENT: As a literal dead weight, yes.", "(Cut to: Chef's kitchen. Gordon Wyatt Wyatt is cooking something on the stove.)", "GORDON WYATT: Firing two branzino, one duck, one rib eye rare!", "(Booth enters.)", "GORDON WYATT: Oh and one of the branzinos is without potato, well it's the customer's loss, the vile bag of gobslobber.", "BOOTH: So you prefer this to psychiatry?", "GORDON WYATT: Agent Booth! Yes, yes I do as a matter of fact, yes. Well, it's the smell, plus let's face it - Chef Gordon Wyatt Wyatt has more of a ring to it than Doctor Gordon Wyatt Wyatt. What do you think? (He offers Booth a pan. Booth takes a sniff.)", "BOOTH: Wow, that's amazing.", "GORDON WYATT: Isn't it? Isn't it? What do I owe this pleasure to?", "BOOTH: Well listen, I -", "GORDON WYATT: Oh, careful with those morels, Elan, they're sixty dollars a pound!", "ELAN: Sorry, chef!", "BOOTH: Chef, I need some advice.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, I can advise you on how to cook an omelet, or how to sous-vide a pork chop if you want to - yep, go, go with those.", "BOOTH: No I need um, some... \"shrinky\" advice.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, I stopped being a psychiatrist some time ago, as you know. Firing three out of a two shepherd's pie, one rack of lamb. Is this something to do with the jumbling your poor boggled noggin got last year?", "BOOTH: That's what I'd like to know.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, my brain expertise these days is confined to preparing a superb sautéed cervelles au beurre noir, I'm afraid.", "BOOTH: Um, maybe you could just pretend like I'm a recipe that needs fixing.", "GORDON WYATT: Tell you what, take that. (He hands Booth a plate with food.)", "BOOTH: Okay.", "GORDON WYATT: And that. (He hands Booth a fork.)", "BOOTH: Yep.", "GORDON WYATT: Go over to that table. Chef's table, somebody, please! Prepare, thank you!", "BOOTH: If I eat this, it's gonna cure me?", "GORDON WYATT: Heavens no, but it'll give you something to do until my break. Right, somebody, service over here, thank you!", "(Booth picks up an odd looking piece of food, looking slightly bemused.)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform. Brennan leans in slightly too close to Vincent as they examine the victim's body.)", "BRENNAN: The victim was struck, in his face.", "VINCENT: At the nasal and the zygomatic.", "BRENNAN: At worst, a blow like this would knock the victim unconscious. Good find, Mr. Nigel Murray, but not cause of death.", "VINCENT: I've catalogued a large number of remodeled fractures along the ribs, plus bilateral flattening of the proximal radii.", "BRENNAN: Enhanced muscle attachment here and here indicate the victim was very strong.", "VINCENT: Well, I'd assume that was to compensate for his condition.", "BRENNAN: What if his strength wasn't compensation for his condition, but lead to all of these injuries.", "VINCENT: A super strong dwarf, such as might be found in the Lord of the Rings.", "BRENNAN: (She frowns at Vincent, not understanding the reference.) The victim has all of the occupational markers of a wrestler.", "VINCENT: Oh! A midget wrestler.", "BRENNAN: No, midget is not the proper term, as a scientist you should be aware.", "VINCENT: It may not be the proper term, Dr Brennan, but I can assure you, correct or not, midget wrestling is an American pastime. As wrong as that may be.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Angela's office. Brennan and Angela are looking at images on the large screen.)", "ANGELA: I'm trying to match the physical characteristics of our leprechaun to any professional wrestlers on the wrestling circuit.", "BRENNAN: Wrestling is popular in many cultures. It was the supreme contest in Ancient Greek games.", "ANGELA: Well, those were mostly beautiful boys wrestling around, all oiled up and naked.", "BRENNAN: That could be our victim. The muscle development appears consistent, the distinct curvature of the femur is undeniable.", "ANGELA: Then it seems our leading contender is the iron leprechaun. So it was a leprechaun after all.", "BRENNAN: Well, that's him. I'm fairly certain that iron leprechaun is not his actual name, only his wrestling moniker.", "ANGELA: (smirks) Thank you. Oh no, well this says that he's wrestling tonight.", "BRENNAN: That would mean that I was wrong about him being the victim.", "ANGELA: Yeah believe me, I'm as surprised about it as you are.", "BRENNAN: Well, perhaps this iron leprechaun will be aware of someone else who looked exactly like him disappearing.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Hodgins' Work Area. Hodgins and Cam enter.)", "HODGINS: I could spend the rest of my life analyzing the contents of that sinkhole.", "CAM: Yeah, let's not do that. Start with the coins.", "HODGINS: Right, well uh, Brennan found a Chinese panda right beside the body. Now within three meters, I found four Krugerrands, a French Rooster franc, a gold Indian Head and a Canadian Maple Leaf.", "CAM: Worth a lot?", "(Sandy enters, carrying a clipboard and science equipment.)", "HODGINS: Oh, the rooster alone - (Sandy gives the clipboard to Hodgins) - hey, thank you Sandy - was worth about four hundred bucks. (He signs it and hands it back to Sandy, before taking the science equipment. Sandy exits.)", "CAM: Are any of these coins traceable?", "HODGINS: No, they're all common gold coins. There's a hefty market in it for people who are afraid the economy will crash, but it's not like they carry serial numbers.", "CAM: What about the gun?", "HODGINS: It's a twenty two caliber rougar mark three, rusted beyond all belief. It's loaded, and unfired. It could belong to our victim, or it could've been tossed in the sewer twenty years ago.", "CAM: Let me know if you find something special.", "(Cam exits.)", "(Cut to: Gordon Wyatt's kitchen. Booth and Gordon Wyatt sit at the chef's table.)", "GORDON WYATT: So you failed to execute a simple plumbing repair, big woo.", "BOOTH: Had to get one of those dummy books. This is delicious, I mean it was great, you're a good cook.", "GORDON WYATT: And you say you forgot about your rather distinctive belt buckle.", "BOOTH: Yeah, Bones had to remind me.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, none of these adjustments strike me as being particularly earth-shattering. Ah. You haven't got to the juicy bit yet, have you?", "(Booth pulls out his target sheet, handing it to Gordon Wyatt. He looks confused, unfolding it. Realization hits.)", "GORDON WYATT: Oh I see, you've suddenly become an indiscriminate homicidal maniac, well that is a cause for concern.", "BOOTH: No, what it means is that I'm a lousy shot, alright, and I have to re-certify next week!", "GORDON WYATT: Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it, the only time I've ever fired a weapon, it reared up and struck me on the forehead.", "BOOTH: I just need you to help me fire my gun.", "GORDON WYATT: That sounds desperately phallic. Is this maybe a sexual problem?", "BOOTH: Don't say that. Don't even put that out in the air!", "GORDON WYATT: It would explain your reticence. Why haven't you gone to see the estimable Dr Sweets for help?", "BOOTH: 'Cause I can't go to him, he works for the FBI, right. You're Gordon Wyatt, come on, help me out.", "GORDON WYATT: Alright. I'll tag along, and I'll see what I think.", "BOOTH: Oh no no, I thought maybe you just, y'know, hypnotize me and give me one of those blue pills.", "GORDON WYATT: One quibble. It's chef, not cook, chef, alright? May seem rather a picayune detail to you, but it's quite meaningful to me.", "BOOTH: (smiles) Okay.", "(Cut to: A noisy venue in which midget wrestling takes place. Brennan, Booth and Gordon Wyatt walk in together.)", "BRENNAN: So, did Booth tell you about the plumbing?", "GORDON WYATT: And the socks, and the belt buckle, the shooting, anything else you noticed?", "BOOTH: Why are you asking Bones?", "GORDON WYATT: Well, she spends more time with you than anyone else.", "BRENNAN: I think that if Booth wants to be a better shot, he should just practice more.", "(General ugliness ensues in the fighting ring between the iron leprechaun and bumblebee man.)", "BOOTH: Ooh!", "BRENNAN: I'm nearly certain that is our victim.", "GORDON WYATT: What, the bumble fellow or the elf?", "BOOTH: Leprechaun, it's obviously a leprechaun. Hey Bones, you want to go up and tell the poor guy he's dead, or shall I?", "GORDON WYATT: Well, he does look a bit vigorous for a dead leprechaun, doesn't he?", "BRENNAN: No, that's not him.", "BOOTH: What do you mean that's not him, you said that was him.", "BRENNAN: No, that's him, in the poster. (She points.)", "BOOTH: Oh.", "BRENNAN: His forehead, the frontal bossing is far too prominent. (suddenly raises her voice above the crowd.) Boo, that man is not the iron leprechaun! Boo, fake, fake.", "BOOTH: What are you doing?", "BRENNAN: Well, booing is the appropriate way to show displeasure at a sporting event. (raises her voice again) Fraud, look at his femurs!", "GORDON WYATT: One cannot deny the femurs!", "BOOTH: Yeah, you can't.", "(Suddenly bumblebee man is on top of the iron leprechaun, holding him down.)", "REFEREE: One, two, three, bumblebee winner!", "ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's winner at four foot four, a hundred and twenty two pounds, bumblebee man!", "(Cheering and boos.)", "BOOTH: Let me handle this. (He produces his badge.) Excuse me pal, FBI, wanna have a word with you.", "LEPRECHAUN: Up yours. Oh no! (He runs to the other side of the ring.)", "BOOTH: Oh, now I gotta get this guy? (He climbs through the rope and into the ring.) There we go. (The iron leprechaun begins building up momentum.) No no no no, whoa, you really don't wanna be doing - (The iron leprechaun launches himself into Booth's chest. He bounces off as if Booth is made of rock.) - that.", "BRENNAN: (concerned) Booth?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Are you okay?", "BOOTH: Fine, okay, I'll get the guy out of the ring, and I'll talk to him. (The iron leprechaun leaps on his back, covering his eyes.) What are you jo - are you kidding me?", "BRENNAN: Booth? Are you okay, do you need help?", "BOOTH: I don't need help, I'm fine, Bones, alright? Will you just get off my back, alright, I'm really starting to lose my patience. (He slams the iron leprechaun onto the floor in a swift move. Nobody seems very impressed.) Sorry, I just - (The iron leprechaun makes one last attempt, but Booth whacks him on the head, leaving him unconscious.) What do you expect me to do? He came at me like a rabid ferret.", "(Brennan blows a raspberry and gives him a thumbs down.)", "BOOTH: What was I supposed to do?", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Interrogation room, behind the glass. Gordon Wyatt enters.)", "GORDON WYATT: Dr Sweets.", "SWEETS: Dr Gordon Wyatt Wyatt.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, Chef Gordon Wyatt Wyatt as a matter of fact. So, observing your prey before heading on in to interrogate him, are you?", "SWEETS: Yeah, Agent Booth has had me conduct more interrogations lately. (He starts to walk away.)", "GORDON WYATT: That's, uh, quite the vote of confidence.", "SWEETS: I know why you're here. Agent Booth left my office and immediately went to you, didn't he? No, I'm alright with it. (He's clearly not alright with it. They exit, and begin walking along a corridor.) There have been a few changes in Booth.", "GORDON WYATT: Since the brain tumor?", "SWEETS: Yeah, is that why he came to you? He doesn't trust me? Oh right, how could I forget about cook/client privileges.", "GORDON WYATT: Chef/client privileges.", "SWEETS: Has he also told you about how now when he climbs stairs he leads with his right foot rather than his left, he holds his phone to a different ear, coffee in his left hand?", "GORDON WYATT: (surprised) How wretchedly observant of you.", "SWEETS: Not me, Dr Brennan. Would you like to accompany me?", "GORDON WYATT: To what end?", "SWEETS: Double team by psychologist and a chef? It'll be epic.", "(They exchange a smile, before making their way into the interrogation room.)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Interrogation room.)", "TODD: My name's Todd Moore.", "SWEETS: (He produces a poster.) Then who's this?", "TODD: The iron leprechaun.", "GORDON WYATT: How many iron leprechauns are there?", "TODD: Just one. Well at a time, I mean. I took over when the last round leprechaun took a powder.", "SWEETS: When was that?", "TODD: About three months ago.", "SWEETS: What's this one's name?", "TODD: That's Bryce DaFonte.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, I'm sorry to say your predecessor is now deceased.", "SWEETS: We found his body at the bottom of a sinkhole.", "TODD: Bryce is dead? Oh man! Well, that totally explains why he'd bail on a sweet gig.", "GORDON WYATT: Being the iron leprechaun is a \"sweet gig\", is it?", "TODD: Yeah! It's a very popular character. Ah... you two think I killed Bryce, tossed him into a sinkhole, so I could take over the franchise?", "GORDON WYATT: Well, I was there when Agent Booth identified himself as FBI, and you ran.", "SWEETS: Running away from the FBI is always suspicious.", "TODD: (He stands up, leaning forward.) I'm Canadian. My work visa expired a week ago. I thought you were gonna ship me back to Sudbury. Have you ever been to Sudbury? You woulda ran too.", "SWEETS: Do you know anyone who would benefit from Bryce's death?", "TODD: Gidget, I guess. She's like the Vince McMahon man of our world.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, how would this Gidget benefit from losing her biggest star?", "TODD: Well, when Bryce was the iron leprechaun, she used to have to pay him a piece of the gate. Me? Flat rate. Three hundred bucks a pot. I'll tell you something else, too. They used to bump uglies, and it didn't end so great.", "(Cut to: Midget wrestling arena.)", "GIDGET: Somebody murdered Bryce?", "BOOTH: Well, y'know, your number one draw disappears; you had to have had a theory?", "GIDGET: I just figured he couldn't handle what happened between us anymore. Murdered how?", "BRENNAN: Well, what happened between you two?", "GIDGET: Come on, we had a thing. Got old, I moved on. Thought at first Bryce did too but it ate at him. Guys are like that, you know. On the outside it looks like they don't care, but on the inside they're chewing themselves up like cancer. I gotta be a suspect, right?", "BRENNAN: We don't like to come right out and say that.", "GIDGET: Well I know I am 'cause Bryce was suing me.", "BOOTH: Oh really, what was he suing you for?", "GIDGET: Bigger cut of the gate. I didn't take it personal, maybe he did. You know men - something goes wrong in the heart department, it always shows itself in another way.", "(This means something to Booth and Brennan.)", "GIDGET: You know Bryce had a criminal past, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah, he went to prison for assault or a robbery.", "GIDGET: (laughs) What can I say, got a thing for the bad boys. Don't you?", "BRENNAN: No, I prefer good boys.", "BOOTH: (ears prick up) Really?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: (flustered) Yeah, so you uh - do you know if Bryce DaFonte owned a gun?", "GIDGET: Course not, he was on parole. Tell you something though, I had a sweet little pistol come up missing right about the same time.", "(Cut to: The Diner. Someone hands Gordon Wyatt a meal.)", "GORDON WYATT: Ah, thank you. D'you know, there is something about an American diner griddle that turns out eggs that rival even the greatest boite du dejeuner in all of Paris.", "SWEETS: So, you've really done it, huh? Turned your back on psychiatry to cook?", "GORDON WYATT: Well, there's more than one way to feed people, you know?", "(Sweets says nothing, simply carries on eating.)", "GORDON WYATT: You're irked, aren't you?", "SWEETS: Oh no, it's just ... you gotta admit. All that experience, and knowledge, and wisdom, trapped in a kitchen? It's crazy!", "GORDON WYATT: I would suggest that what really chuffs your eggs is that in his hour of need, Booth turned to me for advice instead of you. But Booth couldn't go to see you, because your first duty is to the FBI.", "SWEETS: Well, he should trust me.", "GORDON WYATT: He does trust you, implicitly!", "SWEETS: (upset) Obviously not, he came to you, right? A chef.", "GORDON WYATT: But the point is, he would never do anything that would compromise your professional obligations. He's too fond of you for that.", "SWEETS: (extremely skeptical) Did he say that? Out loud?", "GORDON WYATT: He came to me knowing that I would consult with you - which is what I'd like to do now, please. In short, he believes that his brain condition has rendered him incapable of hitting the broad side of a barn with his firearm.", "SWEETS: That must really drive him up the wall.", "GORDON WYATT: Exactly. So, I looked forward to consulting with you on the strange case of the man hereinafter referred to as Agent B.", "(Sweets smiles. Gordon Wyatt takes a mouthful.)", "GORDON WYATT: Yes, you know what I said about the eggs? Doesn't extend to the potatoes. (He spits some back out onto his plate. Sweets groans, slightly disgusted.) Frozen.", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian - The Bone Room. Cam enters.)", "CAM: Positive identification on the victim. Bryce DaFonte. (She presses a button and pictures of the victim appear on the screen.)", "VINCENT: That's a mug shot.", "CAM: (She signs a clipboard for someone, who then exits.) There you go. Apparently Mr. DaFonte was somewhat violent before channeling his aggression more productively.", "VINCENT: By pretending to be a vicious head-cracking leprechaun.", "CAM: Indeed. (Another person enters, with yet another thing for her to sign.) Thanks. What are you doing?", "VINCENT: In searching for cause of death, I found three small grooves along the margin on three separate ribs. Number two on the right, five and six on the left.", "CAM: Not caused by being crushed by two million pounds of gravel and asphalt?", "VINCENT: The nicks are deeper than the extent of the green patina.", "CAM: Telling us that they pre-existed the green, very good. (Another person enters to have something signed. It is clearly Cam's lucky day.) Okay, what else do these nicks tell us?", "VINCENT: I haven't the foggiest. Were you aware that Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot?", "CAM: (She closes her eyes, trying to keep her calm.) Keep looking, Mr. Nigel Murray.", "(Cut to: FBI building. Booth is coming out of a lift, Sweets is waiting for him.)", "SWEETS: Morning, Agent B.", "BOOTH: Hiya Sweets. Okay, about the other night when I came to your office.", "SWEETS: Enough said, enough said - (Booth hands him his coffee) - said the blind man to the deaf man, and in this case I am totally the deaf man. Not just deaf, mute.", "(Booth gives him an odd look.)", "SWEETS: You wanted me to talk to the victim's family with you?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I got the twin brother and the sister in law, they're in the conference room.", "SWEETS: What are we looking for?", "BOOTH: Lies and guilt, Sweets, what else is there?", "(Booth exits. Sweets smiles as he joins him. His mind has been put at ease.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: FBI - Conference Room. Booth & Sweets are interrogating Derek DaFonte)", "DEREK DAFONTE: I was always worried something bad was gonna happen to Bryce, and then I stopped worrying when he started wrestling professionally.", "BOOTH: Right, so as far as you know your brother put his criminal past behind him?", "DEREK DAFONTE: Yeah, he um, loved the whole leprechaun wrestling thing. Quit drinking, made a living.", "SWEETS: You were close?", "DEREK DAFONTE: We were twins, but no. No, we weren't close.", "NICOLE DAFONTE: Bryce was always a little jealous of Derek, 'cause Derek was average sized.", "DEREK DAFONTE: Yeah, I'd have been jealous too if it worked out the other way and I got the short stick.", "BOOTH: No pun intended.", "NICOLE DAFONTE: (annoyed) That's not funny, Agent Booth.", "DEREK DAFONTE: I tried helping Bryce out, you know, got him jobs.", "BOOTH: When did you last talk?", "NICOLE DAFONTE: Well, Derek offered to testify his parole hearing.", "SWEETS: Offered?", "NICOLE DAFONTE: Bryce said he didn't need the help.", "DEREK DAFONTE: It wasn't like that at all, the whole parole thing was a lock, with or without me.", "BOOTH: A lock?", "DEREK DAFONTE: Bryce testified against his cellmate in return for parole.", "NICOLE DAFONTE: I think he was brave.", "DEREK DAFONTE: It was stupid, Nicole. Probably got him killed.", "(Cut to: Interrogation room. Gordon Wyatt and Sweets are interrogating this time.)", "GEORGE ALANO: If you don't mind me saying, neither one of you guys looks like a cop. Look like a substitute teacher and a fry cook.", "GORDON WYATT: (instantly on edge) A fry cook?", "SWEETS: We're not cops, we're professional interrogation.", "GORDON WYATT: (furious) Nobody's a fry cook!", "SWEETS: (taken aback) The cops are in there.", "GORDON WYATT: Yes, in case you annoy us, and we want an arrest made! Any more cracks about fry cooks, I'll have them come in here to rough you up!", "SWEETS: (trying to continue, and calm Gordon Wyatt down) Okay, uh... so you and Bryce DaFonte were cellmates for what, sixteen months?", "GEORGE ALANO: I'm sorry for Bryce, I liked him. Made the cell feel roomier.", "SWEETS: We have information that Bryce ratted you out so he would look good for the parole board.", "GEORGE ALANO: I never took that personally. Little guy like that, you gotta hold him to a different standard.", "GORDON WYATT: You were released, what, three months ago?", "GEORGE ALANO: Paid my debt to society, got a job.", "SWEETS: Road construction.", "GEORGE ALANO: Yep.", "SWEETS: Did you ever work in the Cleveland Park area?", "GEORGE ALANO: Why?", "GORDON WYATT: Because that's where your former cellmate was discovered, twenty feet under the roadway.", "GEORGE ALANO: Well, I didn't put him there! Right, look, Bryce told them where to find my pruno and dope stash, okay, that's small beans. Three days in solitary, I'm gonna kill him for that? Alright, alright, me and Bryce cooked that dodge up together, okay? There was no chance I was getting out a day earlier than my full sentence, due to a spitting incident involving the warden. I figured why not do my cellmate a solid and get him out? And believe me, DaFonte wanted out.", "GORDON WYATT: Well, everyone in prison wants out.", "GEORGE ALANO: Not like Bryce. He was talking about escape, you know, he was highly motivated.", "SWEETS: So what was the big rush?", "GEORGE ALANO: What you think?", "GORDON WYATT: (speaking in an aside to Sweets) I think perhaps a crisis of the heart and loins.", "GEORGE ALANO: He got a 'Dear John' letter from his lady love saying that she was thinking about calling it quits on him. The least I could do for my buddy, ain't nobody waiting on me on the outside.", "(Cut to: The Diner. Gordon Wyatt is attempting to eat a very large sandwich.)", "ANGELA: So my psychic says that Brennan and Booth are linked in a very profound way. In order to eat that thing you're gonna have to dislocate your jaw, like an articulated python.", "GORDON WYATT: Yeah. Tell me though, have you noticed any behavioral changes in Booth since he woke up from the coma?", "ANGELA: He's not as happy-go-lucky as he used to be. It's like he's sort of sad.", "GORDON WYATT: Hmm. Well, perhaps the brain tumor forced him to confront his own mortality.", "ANGELA: Booth confronted his mortality plenty of times. I think that that dream he had, about him and Brennan being married, I think that he sort of misses that dream. It's like he's homesick for that place and those people.", "GORDON WYATT: You think Booth fell in love with Dr Brennan during a dream?", "ANGELA: So do you, right?", "GORDON WYATT: (suddenly coy) Well, I'm a psychiatrist, I'm not comfortable with answering.", "ANGELA: No, you're a chef.", "GORDON WYATT: I am. As usual, you - you see the truth of things. (noise of frustration) I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, it's the most ill-conceived sapless vomitous gargoyle of gastronimity I've ever encountered, it's preposterous, you can't -", "ANGELA: (She laughs and begins to put Gordon Wyatt's sandwich back together.) You know, you're really gonna have to learn to enjoy things the way that they are.", "GORDON WYATT: Mmm, well, perhaps you're right.", "(Cut to: Crime scene, road collapse. Booth sits above Hodgins.)", "HODGINS: The remains were covered with one hundred and fifty years worth of rubble. That's a word I love.", "BOOTH: Half naked dwarf wrestler gets killed and his body gets dumped in some old hole in the ground?", "HODGINS: Well, most of what he was buried in and what I found around the remains was tile. Translucent, ceramic, vitreous, dating back to the 1920s.", "BOOTH: What was that, some kind of Turkish bath?", "HODGINS: Nah, it's a pedestrian underpass. Here. It collapsed in the 30's, they just threw some rocks into it and paved it over.", "BOOTH: Wait a second, so what you're saying is, you think the leprechaun's body was in that pedestrian underpass when the sinkhole happened?", "HODGINS: Yeah, yeah, I mean the guy his size, there could've been a way through it, especially with some digging. That would've stretched from here underground to approximately the other side of the street, and then maybe another twenty feet east.", "(Booth looks in the direction Hodgins is describing, and suddenly realization strikes.)", "BOOTH: Cash for gold.", "(Cut to: Basement of Republic Gold Exchange. Booth and Brennan are lead down by Novarro.)", "NOVARRO: Three months ago this place got robbed. No sign of forced entry to the doors or windows, alarm was cut from the inside. Bad guys got off with bags of gold coins.", "BOOTH: We think the robber may have been the victim in your sinkhole.", "NOVARRO: Well, I'll be damned. The owners of this place will be glad to hear that. Fraud unit suspected it was an inside job.", "BOOTH: How much did they lose?", "NOVARRO: Uh... a hundred and twenty grand worth.", "BRENNAN: I think I found the point of ingress. (She indicates a small grate in the floor.)", "NOVARRO: Woah! You gotta be kidding? Just thinking about it, I can't breathe.", "BOOTH: (He opens a large piece of paper.) Angela's sketch shows the collapsed pedestrian walkway comes five feet from this drain.", "BRENNAN: The victim was small and strong, he could have dug his way through.", "NOVARRO: That's gotta be what, sixteen/eighteen inches? Honestly I can't breathe, I got anxiety thinking about a guy down there.", "BOOTH: Come on Bones, there's no way the victim could get his shoulders through there.", "BRENNAN: He could've made it! Mostly naked, in his lycra shorts. We may even find a container of lubricant down there.", "BOOTH: Well, all we found were eight gold coins.", "NOVARRO: Oh yeah, classic accomplice rip off scenario. No honor between thieves. (Booth and Brennan give him a look.) What, I'm not allowed to chime in? I'm a law enforcement professional.", "(Cut to: The Jeffersonian - The Bone Room.)", "BRENNAN: The only markings we know for sure came from before the sinkhole are these three little nicks on his ribs.", "VINCENT: Could he have been stabbed?", "BRENNAN: Well, with what?", "VINCENT: The world's dullest knife.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps something along the lines of a very dull hatchet.", "VINCENT: To a little person, a hatchet would be the equivalent of an axe. Assuming the accomplice was already lying in wait, surely he would have had the aforethought to bring a more suitable weapon.", "BRENNAN: Like a gun.", "VINCENT: Or a giant sword. Or a gun. (He walks around to a part of a skeleton nearby.) But the killer would have had to have been an incredibly bad shot to merely graze his or her victim, three times in such tight quarters.", "BRENNAN: (She lifts the skeleton up to a different angle.) Mmm.", "VINCENT: Oh, oh I see! If he was reaching forward.", "BRENNAN: More wrenched.", "VINCENT: Or if he was actually hanging from his arm, and the killer shot down from this angle.", "BRENNAN: One bullet fired from above, grazing these three ribs, deflecting, piercing the diaphragm.", "VINCENT: And of course as an achondroplastic dwarf, his organs would be more tightly jammed together than an average person.", "BRENNAN: This would be his liver.", "VINCENT: He'd have bled to death in minutes.", "BRENNAN: (pleased) We found cause of death. (They both look accomplished.)", "(Cut to: The Founding Fathers. Gordon Wyatt is looking at brain scans of Booth's brain.)", "GORDON WYATT: Yeah, there's some collateral damage to Booth's brain here.", "SWEETS: It would result in the memory lapses, yeah, but it doesn't explain any of his other symptoms.", "GORDON WYATT: Ah, but I don't think Booth has brain damage.", "SWEETS: Then what's his problem?", "GORDON WYATT: May I ask why you didn't publish your book on Booth and Brennan?", "SWEETS: What, is there a connection between my book and Booth's marksmanship?", "GORDON WYATT: I believe you didn't publish it because you're afraid of how Brennan and Booth would react to its conclusion.", "SWEETS: My book concludes that Brennan and Booth are in love with each other.", "GORDON WYATT: It's a scrummy conundrum, isn't it?", "SWEETS: I believe that as a reaction to the childhood traumas of abuse and abandonment, Dr Brennan utilizes her intellect to armor herself from intense levels of emotion, like love.", "GORDON WYATT: And Booth?", "SWEETS: Well, subconsciously, he's sensitive to her vulnerability. He knows that acting upon his feelings for her would amount to a kind of assault.", "GORDON WYATT: I couldn't agree with you more.", "SWEETS: So Booth not shooting straight is simply, what, a manifestation of his phallic frustration?", "GORDON WYATT: Yeah, he quite literally can't bring his weapon to bear.", "SWEETS: Do I even have the right to publish my book and make public what these two can't even admit to themselves?", "GORDON WYATT: Good Lord, don't ask me. I'm just a chef.", "SWEETS: (frustrated) Ah!", "GORDON WYATT: Not a psychiatrist. I gave up that game precisely so I don't have to face that kind of dilemma.", "SWEETS: (gives in) Okay.", "(Cut to: Brennan and Booth entering Booth's car.)", "BOOTH: Okay look, we do know that Hodgins found a twenty two pistol near the body, it was fully loaded.", "BRENNAN: And had been discharged.", "BOOTH: Yeah I know that Bones, okay, I do work for the FBI.", "BRENNAN: So has Gordon Wyatt helped you at all with your shooting problem?", "BOOTH: He doesn't see it as a problem.", "BRENNAN: Then maybe you don't have one. Have you ever considered the possibility that you might simply be getting older? I - men do tend to decline physically past the age of thirty-five.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) Remind me again how great I feel after talking to you.", "BRENNAN: Well, who else would always tell you the truth.", "BOOTH: Yeah you know, it does make me feel better. It makes no rational sense but, it does.", "BRENNAN: (smiles) Mmm. Maybe I should start packing heat again?", "BOOTH: Packing heat?", "BRENNAN: Yes, it's a colloquialism. I- I'm quite a good shot.", "BOOTH: Hey, if the leprechaun was shot, then where would the bullet be?", "BRENNAN: Well I assume somewhere in the six tones of crap Hodgins hasn't sifted through yet.", "BOOTH: Wait a second; did you just call forensic evidence \"crap\"?", "BRENNAN: It's colloquial again, what do you think?", "BOOTH: This is very nice, I like it, it shows that you're adapting. (He starts the engine.)", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm working on it - and joshing around, too. (She laughs.)", "BOOTH: (looks awkward) Yeah.", "(Cut to: Interrogation room.)", "GIDGET: I already admitted that Bryce and I had a thing. Hey, where's that hot FBI agent guy? If I'm gonna be interrogated, I want it to be from him.", "SWEETS: That sweet little pistol you owned that went missing. Was this it?", "GIDGET: Is that the gun that was used to kill Bryce?", "SWEETS: Uh, no, but it was nearby.", "GIDGET: Then yeah, that's my pistol.", "SWEETS: He didn't steal the gun from you, you gave it to him because you were worried about his safety.", "GIDGET: I'm not exactly the worrying type. Hey, you wanna make out a little bit? People watching from behind that mirror kinda turns me on.", "(Camera draws back and we see Gordon Wyatt and Brennan behind the glass.)", "GORDON WYATT: This - this persona she's projecting, this little person cougar, she's either masking emotional pain or overcompensating for guilt.", "BRENNAN: Maybe you should tell Sweets.", "GORDON WYATT: Oh believe me, if a chef can figure it out then, a prodigy like Sweets will have got there long before. (He turns the sound of the interrogation room off.) Tell me. What's your theory on why Agent Booth can no longer shoot straight?", "BRENNAN: He should practice more.", "GORDON WYATT: Perhaps in conjunction with his using the wrong foot to climb the stairs and his wrong hand to drink coffee, he's closing the wrong eye when he aims.", "BRENNAN: Real marksmen keep both eyes open when they shoot.", "GORDON WYATT: Oh. Well, that's what I get for using 'Quickly Down Under' as a reference, isn't it?", "BRENNAN: (uncomfortable) So Sweets told you about the hands and the feet?", "GORDON WYATT: Mmm, we're consulting. Patient confidentiality is being maintained, and I won't tell Booth that you've been ratting him out to the FBI behind his back.", "BRENNAN: Ratting out is an accurate phrase, but somehow it doesn't seem true.", "GORDON WYATT: You've come quite a long distance since we last met, if you can now see a distinction between accuracy and the truth.", "BRENNAN: I'm trying to help Booth. I can be objective about his brain and he can't.", "GORDON WYATT: Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.", "BRENNAN: I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him. (She suddenly seems to realize what she's said.) Can we listen, please?", "GORDON WYATT: Yes. (He switches the audio back on to the interrogation room. An awkward look is shared between Brennan and him.)", "SWEETS: Did you give Bryce the gun because you knew he was planning a robbery?", "GIDGET: All I knew is Bryce told me he'd found a way to make a ton of money fast.", "SWEETS: Who was in it with him?", "GIDGET: I don't know.", "SWEETS: I think the reason you feel responsible is that if you'd paid Bryce his fair share, he wouldn't have got himself killed.", "GORDON WYATT: Bullseye. Well done.", "GIDGET: Bryce didn't need money to impress me. And it wasn't me that he was worried about when he was in prison?", "SWEETS: Who was it?", "GIDGET: All I know is that Bryce broke it off with me. Said he had to get serious with somebody else. He said I wasn't enough woman for him.", "(Sweets looks at the glass, suddenly realizing something.)", "BRENNAN: Why is he looking at us?", "(Cut to: Outside the interrogation room. Booth jumps up when they emerge.)", "BOOTH: Jesus, it's about time Sweets, what took you so long? Don't answer that, okay - what did he get out of her?", "BRENNAN: I have no idea but the two of them are very excited.", "SWEETS: You wanna -", "GORDON WYATT: I wouldn't dream of it! Please.", "SWEETS: Okay. Murder victim told Gidget that she wasn't enough woman for him.", "BOOTH: So?", "GORDON WYATT: Well, so it suggests that while in jail, your victim was pining for an average sized woman.", "BRENNAN: Vocabulary? That is your evidence?", "BOOTH: We subpoenaed the victim's cell phone records, the only people he ever talked to were Gidget and his brother.", "SWEETS: The victim's brother said that they were estranged, right?", "GORDON WYATT: And the victim's brother's wife is an average sized woman, isn't she?", "SWEETS: You want us to handle this?", "BOOTH: Nah nah, I'll handle this one, boys. (He walks away.)", "(Cut to: The crime scene.)", "NICOLE DAFONTE: (upset) Why did you bring me here?", "BOOTH: We found Bryce right there. See, he was crawling all the way over there, lugging his own weight in gold coins through a tunnel probably about, uh, about that wide. He got out on the other end, he was shot and killed. Now why is it that somebody would do something like that? Greed, bravery? He was doing it for you, wasn't he, Nicole? How long were you and Bryce seeing each other behind your husband's back?", "NICOLE DAFONTE: (is now in tears) Since always. Since high school. I wrote Bryce in prison, and I told him that we had to stop, but when he got out on parole he begged me to choose him. Got it in his head that to get me to himself he had to be a better provider than his brother. Are you gonna tell Derek about us?", "BOOTH: No. No, I'm not gonna say anything to him. But I will tell you that if you've been in love with another man for ten years - your husband knows. What I need to know is who was helping Bryce out with his burglary?", "NICOLE DAFONTE: I don't know. I don't know, probably somebody he met in prison. He said that he would buy me anything that I ever wanted, if I knew Bryce was stealing I would've begged him to stop.", "BOOTH: You see, Miss DaFonte, when a man can't have the woman that he loves, he gets a bit crazy. One brother, he died for you, right there. The other one, your husband, you put him through hell.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Hodgins Work Area. Brennan enters.)", "HODGINS: I still can't find a bullet.", "BRENNAN: Well, keep trying.", "HODGINS: Could've been washed anywhere by the water. The guy's ring was nearly thirty meters away. High school wrestling, that has got to be the victim's, right? Oh I am back! I mean, King of the Lab, right?", "BRENNAN: No, not King of the Lab. This is not the victim's ring. Achondroplasia causes metaphyseal cupping at the joints, resulting in large knuckles - too big for this ring. (She takes her phone out of her pocket, making a call.)", "HODGINS: Well then, whose ring is this?", "BRENNAN: Someone who went to the same high school at the same time, played the same sport, but had average sized fingers. (They exchange a meaningful look.)", "(Cut to: FBI, corridor.)", "BRENNAN: We're good at this.", "BOOTH: Yeah Bones, this is what we do, we're the best.", "(Mr. and Mrs. DaFonte walk out of lift.)", "BOOTH: Mr. DaFonte, thank you for coming in.", "DEREK DAFONTE: Yeah, uh, so you got any news on my brother?", "BOOTH: Do me a favor and just put your hand out like this, please?", "NICOLE DAFONTE: What's going on?", "BOOTH: Mr. DaFonte, please, your hand, just like this.", "(Mr. DaFonte does so. Brennan grabs his hand, forcing the ring onto it.)", "BRENNAN: When your brother came out of the tunnel, you reached out, took his hand.", "BOOTH: He thought the two of you were working together, but you knew why he wanted the money.", "BRENNAN: When you shot your brother, the force partially dislocated his shoulder, while the bullet travelled to the torso in a fatal trajectory, grazing three ribs.", "BOOTH: Then you pushed him back into the tunnel, foot to face.", "BRENNAN: But he pulled off your ring.", "BOOTH: You're under arrest. (He cuffs Mr. DaFonte.)", "NICOLE DAFONTE: Derek? Why?", "DEREK DAFONTE: Come on Nicky, you know why. You know exactly why.", "(Cut to: Gordon Wyatt's kitchen.)", "BOOTH: (He spins an object.) So we found most of the gold coins in the victim's brother's crawl space, I mean most of them, not all of them.", "GORDON WYATT: Ah, so the oldest murder of them all, eh? Brother slays brother, Cain and Abel.", "BOOTH: Doc, tomorrow morning I gotta be on the firing line at seven am sharp, so you have to fix my brain damage.", "GORDON WYATT: You haven't got brain damage!", "BOOTH: Ah, Gordon Wyatt okay, they took out a brain tumor the size of a melon ball out of my head; I can't shoot straight; I can't tell if people are lying; I have to get dummy books just to do things. I'm at a complete loss with stuff.", "GORDON WYATT: (He uncorks a bottle.) But not as a result of brain damage. When you were in a coma, you got a glimpse of another world.", "BOOTH: Right, and how does that help me aim my gun?", "(They sit down.)", "GORDON WYATT: Temperance Brennan. You're in love with her. (Booth looks up in surprise.) You're building a world around her, a family.", "BOOTH: (He pauses, looking torn.) We're not compatible. She sees the world one way, I see it the other way.", "GORDON WYATT: No of course, it's absolutely ludicrous the idea of you together, but the heart chooses what it chooses, doesn't it? We don't really have any say in the matter.", "BOOTH: (insistently) She doesn't love me. I would know if she loved me.", "GORDON WYATT: May I counsel patience on this front. Hope and patience.", "BOOTH: (He smiles slightly.) Right so, about my marksmanship certification - any advice?", "GORDON WYATT: Grow a set! Be a man, step up! She's your partner, for heaven's sake. The job you do together is highly dangerous, she counts on you for protection. So you'd damn well better protect her!", "BOOTH: So that's your big psychiatric advice, just \"grow a set\"?", "GORDON WYATT: Indeed. When it comes to a man and his gun, a woman is the natural cure. Take Dr Brennan to this um, this shooting event of yours.", "(Brennan enters.)", "GORDON WYATT: You won't fail in front of her, trust me. Dr Brennan! (He stands to greet her.)", "BRENNAN: Hello. (They exchange kisses on the cheek.)", "GORDON WYATT: Please, take a seat.", "BRENNAN: Oh, well, why can't we sit out in the restaurant?", "BOOTH: Oh no, Bones, this is a great honor to sit at the chef's table. Huge.", "BRENNAN: (She sits regardless.) But it's in the kitchen, it's hot and noisy.", "BOOTH: It's a thing, alright, we just go with it. (Gordon Wyatt looks at him and indicates that he should ask that favor. Booth becomes nervous.) So! Bones um, would you do me a favor?", "BRENNAN: Yes, as long as it does not involve me shaving my head. (She looks extremely proud of herself.)", "BOOTH: (laughs after a moment) You are making a joke.", "BRENNAN: I'm becoming quite amusing.", "BOOTH: You are, it's very funny. Honestly, will you do me a favor?", "BRENNAN: Yes, as long as I don't have to shave my head.", "BOOTH: (snorts) Little advice on the humor; once the joke happens, don't dog pile on it, just let it go.", "GORDON WYATT: (He hands Booth and Brennan food.) Do try these amuse bouche, they may look like sperm on corn smut, but I assure you they are magically scrumptious. (Brennan looks at her food, trying to hide her displeasure.) Be brave my children, make a foray, cast off your shackles etcetera etcetera, abide by my exhortations to joie de vivre - (Booth looks at Brennan, who is smiling back) - that you may be born aloft on the trembling wings of giggling angels. (He exits. Booth and Brennan exchange a look of amusement.)", "(Music: My Ghost by Glass Pear.)", "(Cut to: FBI Shooting range. Booth is back again, with Brennan in the background. Booth fires two rounds of shots. The targets are brought closer, and we see that they are bang on target.", "RANGE MASTER: Excellent, Agent Booth.", "(Booth turns to Brennan, who gives him a thumbs up. He turns back to examine his targets, a small content smile upon his face.)", "END." ]

[ "Booth's grandfather Hank comes to live with him and tags along as Brennan and Booth investigate ashes and charred remains found by a real estate agent while showing a property to prospective buyers. The team identifies the victims as plus-size lovers, neither of whom seemed to have many enemies. Meanwhile, Hank tries to play matchmaker for Booth and lets Brennan in on some family secrets." ]

[ "TEASER", "(A quiet neighborhood)", "(The camera focuses on all the \"For Sale\" signs in front of each house. It pans over to a house. We go inside and the realtor is showing a couple around)", "KATIE SELNICK: It's a buyer's market so this place is a steel. The owner's wife died so he's motivated. I'd be surprised if another agent doesn't already have an offer.", "WOMAN: Mmm, what's that smell?", "(Katie leads the couple through a hallway and up the stairs)", "KATIE: It's probably the neighbors. I hear they love to barbeque. It's a very friendly neighborhood. (After reaching the upstairs hallway) Now the master bedroom has been beautifully redone with coffered ceilings and all new carpeting. If you ask me, it's to die for.", "(Katie leads the couple into the bedroom. They're smiles drop immediately and the camera pans over to the bed. On it is a pile of ash with a foot still in tact and ash in the shape of a hand.)", "KATIE: I'm sorry, he was supposed to clean up.", "MAN: That's a foot.", "WOMAN: Oh my god! (She runs from the room screaming and hitting the door. The vibrations from the smack make the ash attached to the foot fall apart. Her husband follows)", "KATIE: (sighing in anger) Crap! (She stares at the bed for a moment, then shakes her head and leaves the room)", "(The Royal Diner)", "(Sweets, Bones and Booth are all eating breakfast at a table)", "SWEETS: (to Booth) I thought your grandfather lived in a nursing home.", "BOOTH: It's a retirement community. It's not a prison. He can leave anytime that he wants.", "BRENNAN: I think it's nice that he wants to stay with you for awhile.", "SWEETS: Did something happen...in the nursing home?", "BOOTH: You know what? If I tell you, you're just going to read into it and all sorts of stuff.", "BRENNAN: I won't", "BOOTH: He slugged a nurse. (Brennan raises her eyebrows) A male nurse.", "SWEETS: Okay...Well actually that's pretty straightforward. Hostel, aggressive, anti-social behavior is...", "BOOTH: (Interrupting) Sweets, he wanted to smoke a cigar in his room.", "SWEETS: Cigar? That's interesting.", "BOOTH: No it's not. He's a tough guy, that's all.", "MAN'S VOICE: Hey Shrimp! (We see it's an older gentleman who has entered the diner with a suitcase. He calls out again.) Shrimp!", "BOOTH: Hey, Pops. (It's Booth's grandfather.) How you doing?", "(Booth stands to greet his grandfather as his grandfather wheels his suitcase towards Booth)", "SWEETS: Shrimp?", "BRENNAN: I imagine Booth used to be shorter.", "SWEETS: Oh.", "BOOTH: Ahah, Pops. Bring it over. (They hug) How you doing? (They do a special handshake) Come on over.", "HANK: Nice place! The tour come with the food or do you have to order it on the side?", "BOOTH: (laughing) This here's Dr. Temperance Brennan.", "BRENNAN: (Shaking his grandfather's hand) Very nice to meet you, Mr. Booth.", "HANK: Wow...you weren't kidding. (He kisses Brennan's hand and Booth looks uncomfortable)", "BRENNAN: What did you tell him?", "BOOTH: Nothing. You can give her hand back now.", "HANK: Right. You can call me Hank, sweetheart.", "BRENNAN: Okay, Hank.", "SWEETS: Hi", "HANK: And who's this, a friend of Parker's? (Brennan laughs, Sweets smiles, embarrassed)", "BOOTH: No, this here's Dr. Sweets.", "HANK: A doctor? (shaking his head) I don't think so.", "BOOTH: No. It is.", "BRENNAN: It's true.", "HANK: Where'd you get your M.D.? In a CrackerJack box?", "(They all laugh a little awkwardly, then sit down.)", "HANK: So...what do you got in store? I'm ready for some action.", "BOOTH: You know, I'd figure we play some dominoes and after that maybe go (Booth's phone rings, interrupting him. He reaches inside is jacket pocket for it) I'm sorry. Excuse me. Sorry, Pops. (He answers it) Booth. Yeah, okay. On our way. (he hangs up and looks to Brennan) Got a case. (He stands)", "HANK: (standing as well) Good! I can help. I was an M.P. you know.", "BOOTH: No you can't come, Pops. And tell you what, why don't you meet me back at the apartment?", "HANK: (disappointed) Alright. I'll call a cab.", "BOOTH: No. Uh Sweets here. He'll give you a ride. Ok, Pops?", "BRENNAN (leaning over to shake Hank's hand once more) It was nice to meet you, Hank.", "SWEETS: Sure.", "BOOTH: I'll see you, Pops. (Booth and Hank do a fist bump and then Booth turns to leave with Brennan)", "SWEETS: Uh...so shall we go?", "HANK: You got room on your bicycle for my bag?", "SWEETS: Ha.", "(The quiet neighborhood)", "(FBI people are canvassing the area. Booth and Brennan step out of Booth's car)", "BRENNAN: Are you sure you can handle him? You know he must have been in a nursing home for a reason.", "BOOTH: Oh Pops, he had triple bypass surgery about, oh I'd say, three months ago. You know, he didn't want to be on his own. You know, hey, if he wants to be with me now that's cool.", "BRENNAN: But what if he wants to make it permanent?", "BOOTH: He's family, Bones. Okay. Nothing trumps family. Just remember that, okay?", "(They approach the house and Booth flashes his badge)", "BOOTH: (to the cop) Alright, let's go. Open up. After you Bones.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. (They both enter the house, Brennan first)", "(The home's entryway)", "(Katie Selnick and a the homeowner, Howard Fileman, approach Booth and Brennan)", "HOWARD This wouldn't have happened if I'd been here. She told me to move out. Said the place would look better.", "KATIE: Let me handle this. (turning to Booth and Brennan) Hi, I'm Katie Selnick. I'm the real estate agent. This is Howard Fileman, he's the owner of the house. (She hands Booth and Brennan her business card) I know this is a really bad time, but it is a buyer's market so...", "BOOTH: (interrupting) Woah. Show a little compassion, alright? (He follows Brennan who's already left to go look at the body)", "(Upstairs)", "(Brennan and Booth enter from the stairs and walk into the master bedroom where the body was found)", "BOOTH: I need a list of everyone who had access to the house. That means real estate agents, that means clients.", "KATIE: Well that's an awfully long list.", "BOOTH: Well you better start getting to work there, Katie. Here you go. (He hands her his card and then motions for her and Howard to not enter the room) Please stay there, thank you. (seeing the body) Woah.", "BRENNAN: Whoever this was burned to ash overnight.", "BOOTH: (pushing back Katie and Howard who are leering in the doorway) Can we have some space, please? Back up. So...nothing else burned?", "BRENNAN: (shaking her head) Nothing else.", "(Brennan stares hard at the body, specifivally the ash hand and the pile of what looks like blood at the base of the bed. Booth sees a partly eaten chocolate cake with a single candle and moves towards it.)", "BOOTH: Maybe it was the candle (His movement causes the ash pinky to disintegrate) here in the cake.", "BRENNAN: (yelling) STOP! (Booth stops, and Katie and Howard have leaned in the door also stop) Everyone freeze! This hand is very fragile, especially the phalanges. Any motion may cause the rest of it to just fall apart.", "BOOTH: (still frozen and speaking without moving his lips) Okay. We're frozen now, Bones. What can I do?", "BRENNAN: I need some kind of spray adhesive. Like hairspray. (Brennan looks at Katie) She must have some)", "BOOTH: (turning towards the door) I'll go get some. (Before he can take a step, Brennan interrupts)", "BRENNAN: Uh...It would be best if you didn't lift your feet when you moved.", "BOOTH: Yes. (He then begins to shuffle towards Katie in the doorway. She hands him her hairspray)", "BRENNAN: Careful.", "BOOTH: (turning and shuffling towards Brennan and the bed) Yeah. (He hands her the bottle)", "BRENNAN: (opening the can) There appear to be wounds on this hand but we won't know what weapon caused them if I don't stabilize the ash. (She sprays the hand)", "BOOTH: Okay, can I move now?", "BRENNAN: Gently.", "BOOTH: Right. So what are we talking about here? Spontaneous combustion?", "BRENNAN: There's no such thing.", "BOOTH: Come on, Bones. Electrical currents in your body. They start sparking and then before you know it, WOOSH! Flame on.", "BRENNAN: Well that's absurd, Booth", "BOOTH: Oh really? Then what happened?", "BRENNAN: (looking at the body, completely puzzled) I have...absolutely no idea.", "BOOTH: (knowing he's won) Exactly. Spontaneous combustion.", "OPENING CREDITS", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Platform)", "(The bed with the body has been transported, including frame, to the Jeffersonian. Clark and Brennan are inspecting it. Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: I think Booth was on to something.", "BRENNAN: What? Spontaneous combustion?", "HODGINS: (pulling up pictures on the computer) Well, the so-called instances of spontaneous combustion can actually be explained by a phenomenon known as the wick effect. (Clark looks up) Okay, here's the classic example. Heavyset guy, passes out from booze holding a lit cigarette. He drops the cigarette onto his pajamas. PWHOO! The fire melts his belly fat.", "BRENNAN: The fat soaks into the bedding creating what is essentially a slow burning human candle. The pajamas being the wick.", "HODGINS: Fat burns in, not out which explains why nothing else caught on fire.", "BRENNAN: Based on the position of the body, the victim was either unconscious or dead when the fire started.", "CLARK: People who die in a fire show signs of motion, you know, trying to get away from the flames. This person never moved. (Brennan nods)", "CAM: (entering the platform with a folder) Tox screen from the tissue on the foot showed no signs of drugs or alcohol.", "HODGINS: So then the victim was killed before the fire even started. (Cam nods) So you, uh, met Booth's grandad?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I think Booth wants him to move in.", "HODGINS: Wow, that's a big step.", "CAM: Hank raised Booth after his father left. Seeley would do anything for him.", "CLARK: Booth is a good man.", "HODGINS: Well, well. Showing a little interest in the personal lives of your co-workers there, Clark?", "CLARK: No. I just meant that...Well, I had a grandparent who lived with us when I was young. (turning to Hodgins) And yes, I am. Too often we don't appreciate the elderly until they're gone. (Cam nods) I just find Agent Booth's actions to be commendable...(quieter) and moving.", "HODGINS: (confused) You're moved?", "CLARK: Yes. I'm moved. (Brennan looks at him) And now I'm not.", "(Hodgins and Cam smirk at each other)", "CLARK: (pointing at foot) Based on the markers, I'd say we're looking at a female.", "BRENNAN: (looking as well) The victim had Haglund's deformity. Very good, Dr. Edison", "HODGINS: (stepping towards the foot) Haglund's deformity?", "CLARK: It's a bony enlargement on the heel that's caused by wearing ill-fitting high-heeled shoes.", "(Brennan pulls up the X-Ray of the foot on the computer)", "BRENNAN: Judging by the microfractures and remodeling to the tarsus and metatarsus, the victim also had plantar fasciitis", "CAM: There were also elevated levels of leptin in the tox screen.", "BRENNAN: Taken together, that means the victim was probably obese.", "CLARK: So we have to ID a pile of ash based on only the fact that it's a...fat lady.", "BRENNAN: It's quite a challenge, I agree.", "HODGINS: This orange goo looks like melted polymers. Can I grab a sample here?", "BRENNAN: Just be careful of bone fragments.", "CLARK: So what does he call his grandfather?", "BRENNAN: Uh, \"Pops.\"", "CLARK: (smiling) I called mine \"Gramps.\"", "(A park)", "(Hank is sitting on a bench while a police officer is on the phone)", "POLICE OFFICER: Agent Booth? This is Officer David Poe, third district. Sorry to disturb you, sir.", "(Booth's Office)", "BOOTH: What's up, Officer Poe?", "POE: (through phone) Well, I'm here with your grandfather, sir.", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "HANK: (through phone) I'm fine...", "(A park)", "HANK: ...Seeley. This cop just pinched me for nothing.", "POE: We're in Tacoma Park. I think he could use a ride home.", "(Booth's Office)", "BOOTH: Well...uh...uh...is he hurt? Is he okay?", "(A park)", "POE: He was a little confused and disoriented.", "HANK: (grabbing the phone from Poe) Wait a minute. Seeley, I'm fine. I just took a...", "(Booth's Office)", "HANK: (through phone) ...subway to see my friend, Willy Louis. I mentioned him to you?", "(A park)", "HANK: We were in the 82nd together.", "(Booth's Office)", "BOOTH: Yeah, I remember, Pops.", "(A park)", "HANK: Well the son of a bitch up and died on me. They had the funeral three weeks ago. Nobody even told me. I took a walk to clear my head and uh...well I got turned around.", "(Booth's Office)", "BOOTH: Listen, Pops. I'm just..I'm coming to get you. Okay?", "(A park)", "HANK: You're working.", "(Booth's Office)", "BOOTH: (exiting his office) That's okay. It's okay, Pop. Just uh...put me back on with the cop.", "(A park)", "HANK: (handing the phone back to Poe) Here.", "(The Office area outside Booth's office)", "BOOTH: Hi. (he looks up and sees Katie approach him) Oh, Ms. Selnick. (to Poe) Hold on.", "KATIE: (following Booth toward the elevators. she hands him a paper) I have a list of some of the people who had access to the house.", "BOOTH: Some?", "KATIE: I'll...I'll get more but I was showing a house. The market is horrible. I haven't made a sale in...", "BOOTH: (holding his hand up to interrupt) A woman is dead, Ms. Selnick. That doesn't bother you at all?", "KATIE: I know it should. My therapist says I'm afraid to feel.", "BOOTH: (getting into the elevator) You know, you should really be afraid of going to jail for obstructing a murder investigation. I want those names by tomorrow. Tomorrow. (putting the phone back to his ear) I'm on my way, Officer. (Back to Katie) Tomorrow.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Angela's Office)", "(The solidified ash hand is on a rotating pedestal getting scanned by the computer)", "BRENNAN: The wounds appear to be defensive but this section of hand is too fragile to take a mold.", "ANGELA: I'm making a 3D rendering which is essentially a virtual mold. (the 3D image appears on the monitor) Hey, Booth must be cute with his grandfather, huh?", "BRENNAN: His grandfather calls him \"Shrimp.\" Booth seems to like it which I don't understand.", "ANGELA: Well cause it makes him feel loved. Like when he actually was a shrimp.", "BRENNAN: So the moniker is a sign of affection.", "ANGELA: Very good, Brennan. You never had a nickname?", "BRENNAN: Oh, no. Just what Booth calls me. Just...just \"Bones.\"", "HODGINS: (entering) The orange glob of goo. Polyethylene terephthalate. (Angela looks had him confused) Right. It's polyester. It's the perfect wick. She had to have been wearing it when she was lit.", "ANGELA: Hey let me see that.", "HODGINS: (handing Angela the tray with the sample) Not enough residue for it to be a coat or pajamas or anything.", "ANGELA: What about a vest?", "HODGINS: Yeah, I mean could be.", "ANGELA: Hmm. I think I know this color. (grabbing her monitor tablet and scanning the sample) The computer can match the exact shade of color for us. (bringing up the color wheel on the monitor) This is the Palatone color wheel. When a corporation wants to standardize their logo, they have Palatone create a color for them. This particular shade of orange is known as \"PriceCo. Blossom Orange\" This is the color of the vests the employees wear.", "HODGINS: The victim worked at PriceCo.", "BRENNAN: (starting to leave) I'll tell Booth. (she exits)", "(Booth's car)", "(Booth is driving and Hank is in the passenger seat)", "BOOTH: I just got to make one stop. Okay, Pops?", "HANK: This about the murder?", "BOOTH: Yeah. It's not going to take long. You sure you're alright?", "HANK: Stop asking me that. You never got lost? Just because I'm maturing, people think I'm going senile.", "BOOTH: Alright, alright. Okay. Just asking.", "HANK: You remember when I taught you how to pitch? You thought I was too old then, too.", "BOOTH: I'll tell you. You had the best sinker I ever saw. I can never get that one right.", "HANK: Your fastball could smoke mine.", "BOOTH: (smiling) I'm glad you're here, Pops.", "HANK: Yeah, well...And don't worry...if you ever need a little privacy with the bone doctor, I'll make myself scarce.", "BOOTH: Ok, thanks. But there's nothing going on between us.", "HANK: You gay?", "BOOTH: What? (confused) No.", "HANK: She's a keeper. You should listen to me. I warned you about Rebecca being a waste of time. Didn't I?", "BOOTH: C'mon, Pops. I can take care of my own love life.", "HANK: I don't think so.", "(Booth nods and continues driving)", "(PriceCo.)", "(Booth and Hank are entering the store)", "HANK: Well I got to get a book light. Now, I won't get in your way.", "BOOTH: Alright. Listen, Pops. Do me a favor. Why don't you just...just stand right in the entrance. Underneath this big sign, alright? Cause I got to go find the manager.", "HANK: Well go! Keep America safe.", "BOOTH: Don't wander off. Stay right here.", "(Booth heads off to find the manager. Hank paces in a circle. A woman approaches)", "WOMAN: Excuse me. Um, where would I find electrical tape?", "HANK: (thinking about it) Let's see... I think... (looking down the aisles) I think I can help you find it. This way. (he guides her away from the entrance)", "(Electrical section of PriceCo.)", "(Booth is speaking with the manager)", "MANAGER: Meg Tracy's been AWOL since Tuesday. Never called. Not like her.", "BOOTH: Would you happen to have an employee photo?", "MANAGER: Sure. Did she do something? Because I don't want to get dragged into anything.", "BOOTH: No. We're just concerned something may have happened to her. That's all.", "MANAGER: Maybe you heard complaints about me. But its from those slackers and deadbeats who don't do their job. I keep my nose clean.", "BOOTH: The photo...", "MANAGER: I'll get her whole file. Just leave me out of it.", "(Hank, now wearing a orange work vest approaches the electrical section, this time with a different customer)", "HANK: Kitchen and Bath. Right down there.", "CUSTOMER: Thank you.", "(Booth sees Hank and stops him)", "BOOTH: Pops, what are you doing? You don't work here. Why are you wearing that vest?", "HANK: Well three people told me I was a good greeter so I got a vest.", "BOOTH: Okay Pops. We got to go. Let's go. Take the vest off.", "HANK: My shift's not over.", "BOOTH: No. You're not on a shift. (the manager approaches) Will you just...", "MANAGER: You think this is the break room? Because I will fire you.", "BOOTH: Slow down, okay. This here's my grandfather, alright? He's just a big fan of the store, that's all. (Taking off Hank's vest) He's always wanted to work here, but not today. (Handing her the vest and taking the file) We got to get this file back to Bones, okay. Thanks.", "MANAGER: Mmmhmm.", "HANK: I quit.", "BOOTH: Yeah, he quits. C'mon. (Booth leads Hank toward the entrance. They pass a customer asking an employee a question)", "CUSTOMER: Where would I find fertilizer for azaleas?", "HANK: (before the employee can respond) Aisle 4.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Platform)", "(Brennan, Clark and Cam bring up the picture of Meg Tracy on the computer. She is not obese.)", "CAM: This woman's a size 4, tops.", "BRENNAN: Well she must have recently lost a significant amount of weight.", "CLARK: Her doctor confirmed that she had been treated for both the microfractures we found on the foot and the Haglund's deformity.", "BRENNAN: But on her last visit with him she weighed 234 pounds.", "CLARK: Baby had back. (Cam looks puzzled. Brennan looks at Clark. Clark looks back at the monitor awkwardly) Sorry. I don't know where that came from. (He then pulls up X-rays of the victim's foot) The doctor's x-rays of the foot match ours. It's Meg Tracy.", "CAM: If Meg was thin, why so much ash?", "BRENNAN: Because there was someone else in bed with Meg. Two people died in that fire.", "CAM: So now we're looking at a double murder.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Platform)", "(Bone fragments and ash taken are dispersed in various bins on one of the examining tables. Clark places down a final bin of ash)", "CLARK: Given the amount of ash and bone, these remains represent approximately 380 pounds of human.", "CAM: (standing next to Clark. Angela is on the other side of the table) We know that Meg Tracy weighed about 120 which puts our second victim at 260.", "CLARK: (picking up a fragment and looking at it through a magnifying glass) It's part of the middle eminence. Judging by the angle of the jaw fragment, the second victim was male.", "HODGINS: (on another table examining a piece of the bed spring) A super-size male.", "CAM: So the cake on the table was probably his.", "ANGELA: I still don't have nearly enough to give you a face.", "HODGINS: And I'm still working on these inorganics.", "CLARK: I'll separate the male and female bone fragments. See if they share any injuries.", "(The Founding Fathers)", "(Booth, Brennan and Hank are eating lunch. Hank has multiple pill bottles in front of him and is looking at one.)", "BRENNAN: We're still assembling evidence analyzing the bones and constructing 3D imagery.", "HANK: They got lighter fluid and Presto logs over at PriceCo. They could burn somebody up.", "BRENNAN: There's no evidence of an accelerant.", "HANK: Yet. That manager over there that yelled at me. I saw the look in her eyes. I was an M.P. you know.", "BOOTH: Pops, this is a little bit more complicated than, you know, arresting some drunk soldiers that just wandered off the base.", "HANK: I don't think so. (looking down at the bottle in his hand) Did I take these blue pills?", "BOOTH: You took the yellow pills.", "HANK: (slamming the bottle on the table, clearly frustrated) I feel like a damn chemistry experiment. They didn't have this stuff 50 years ago and everybody was fine.", "BRENNAN: Actually medicine has increased life expectancy quite a bit since 1959. 50 years ago, you'd probably be dead.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "HANK: No, I like her. She's real. She's got balls.", "BRENNAN; Well, ovaries actually.", "HANK: Well alright. You got a pair of steel ovaries.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: Will you two, please?", "HANK: Always so proper...will you loosen up?", "BRENNAN: He's quite skittish when the subject of s*x comes up.", "BOOTH: No I'm not.", "HANK: Maybe I didn't give him enough information when he was a kid.", "(Booth's phone rings. He answers)", "BOOTH: Booth. Oh. Yeah. I'll come in right now. Alright. (he hangs up)", "BRENNAN: What's going on?", "BOOTH: (standing) They brought in Meg Tracy's roommate for questioning. I should go talk to her. Look, I'm sorry, Pops.", "HANK: Go! We'll play dominoes later. You'll lose.", "BOOTH: (exiting) You wish.", "HANK: I love that kid. I'm more proud of him than anybody in the world.", "BRENNAN: I think he feels the same way. He had no one else when his father walked out. He was lucky to have you.", "HANK: (sighs) I never had the nerve to tell him it was my fault.", "BRENNAN: What was?", "HANK: If I was a better man, maybe I could have figured something else out. But when I saw my son hitting Seeley...beating that little kid...that was it. I said, \"Get out. You don't deserve to be a father. Get out.\" He never came back. So I...I was left with the two boys.", "BRENNAN: You are a good man, Hank.", "HANK: I didn't know what else to do. He was beating my grandson. (Brennan grabs Hank's hand) Look, when the time is right, you'll tell him. And if he uh...if he needs it...you'll hold him. Okay?", "BRENNAN: (nodding) Okay.", "(Hank sighs)", "(Booth's Office)", "(Meg Tracy's roommate, Stephanie, is sitting in a chair, she is overweight. Booth is standing behind his desk leaning against the file cabinets)", "STEPHANIE: I wondered why Meg hadn't come back to the apartment. I tried to call. You're sure it's Meg?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm afraid so. How long have you guys been roommates?", "STEPHANIE: Three years. We were weight loss buddies. This year the loser paid for the other one to go to Hawaii. Incentive, you know. I lost, obviously.", "BOOTH: So yo paid for Meg's trip?", "STEPHANIE: Meg lost over a 100 pounds. I lost 6. How did she die?", "BOOTH: Well, we're still working on cause of death. You know, she was with a man. (sitting) Do you happen to know, uh, who Meg was dating?", "STEPHANIE: No one special. I would have known. She used to meet different guys at Club Jiggle.", "BOOTH: Club Jiggle?", "STEPHANIE: For thin people who...let's say they appreciate people my size. I went myself a couple times but it was too freaky. These skinny guys saying they wanted to fondle my cankles and eat brisket out of my navel. It skeeved me out.", "BOOTH: Brisket? (Stephanie nods.) Right that's a whole...a whole 'nother world, I guess. Um, can you verify where you were the night of the 10th?", "STEPHANIE: There was a big house party. I was there until after 2am.", "BOOTH: (taking out a pad and pen from his desk and bringing it to her) Um, can you do me a favor and just, um, write down the names of people who could verify they saw you at the party?", "STEPHANIE: (taking the pen and pad suspiciously) Am I a suspect?", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Angela's Office)", "(Hodgins, Angela, Clark and Cam are standing in front of the giant monitor)", "CAM: You can get the second victim's height from bone fragments?", "CLARK: Once objected to intense heat, the long bones warp, crack and contract in predictable ways.", "ANGELA: Based on the figures that Clark gave me, I was able to partially reconstruct a male fibula.", "CLARK: The amount of bone shrinkage from heat exposure was about 20%.", "HODGINS: Which allows you to calculate height. That's brilliant.", "(Angela is visually reconstructing all that is said on her monitor)", "CAM: We know that our victim was approximately 260 pounds.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but based on the fibula, he was 5'5\".", "CAM: 5'5\", 260. That's a start. I'll tell Booth. (she exits)", "(Sweets' Office)", "(Brennan and Booth are on the couch, Sweets in his chair)", "SWEETS: Meg may have been participating in a feeder and eater fetish.", "BOOTH: Her roommate said that the guys at the club wanted to eat brisket out of her...navel.", "SWEETS: Okay, that would make sense.", "BRENNAN: Fetishes are common in all sexually repressed societies like ours.", "SWEETS: Yeah, feeders and eaters are a sub-category of fat fetishism that involves an obese person, or an eater, and a feeder that derives sexual pleasure out of gaining and fondling of body fat.", "BOOTH: That would explain the uh..the cake next to the bed. Which I'm probably never gonna want to eat again.", "BRENNAN: Hank said you love cake:", "BOOTH: I usually do. Wait, are we staying on point here?", "BRENNAN: Well, we were discussing cake, weren't we? Oh, he's making you grilled cheese tonight by the way.", "BOOTH: Really?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I'm invited.", "SWEETS: How's it going with your grandfather? I know it can be very stressful to be responsible for someone who is elderly.", "BOOTH: It's fine.", "BRENNAN: Well he does take a lot of medication so he has health issues. You have to stay on top of that.", "BOOTH: Well he took care of me when I was sick. I can take care of him.", "SWEETS: It's not going to be easy for him to build a new life here at his age. And he's got a history of aggressive behavior, right? If he ever wants to talk, I'd be more than happy...", "BOOTH: (interrupting) ...sorry we were talking about murder here, right? Meg Tracy...fondling of fat.", "SWEETS: Of course.", "BOOTH: So why would Meg go back to the club if she wasn't fat anymore?", "SWEETS: Meg lived for many years as an obese woman. Her obsession with food is not something that would just go away. She would have to struggle with it everyday.", "BOOTH: Right. So you're saying she missed overeating so much that she fed other people in order to feed herself?", "SWEETS: Yes, exactly", "BRENNAN: So the eater became a feeder. And somehow it got her killed. (Sweets nods)", "(Booth's Apartment)", "(Hank is in the kitchen cooking. Brennan and Booth are eating grilled cheese in teh living room)", "BOOTH: I had these about three times a week. They're amazing, right?", "BRENNAN: Mmmhmm. Very good.", "HANK: I learned how to make these during the Battle of Inchon. American Cheese reminded us of home. We kept fighting. (he places another plate of sandwiches down)", "BOOTH: Come on, Bones. Dig in. This is real food here.", "BRENNAN: Mm. We should get to the club, Booth. (she stands and heads for the door)", "BOOTH: (standing and still chewing) Bones is right. We got a lot of people to interrogate, Pops.", "HANK: Oh, sure.", "BOOTH: (pointing to the food) Amazin.", "HANK: What channel's the fishing channel on?", "BOOTH: 135", "BRENNAN: (coming from the kitchen with one of Hank's pill bottles) You're out of your coumadin Hank.", "HANK: Ahh, I forgot. So many pills.", "BRENNAN: These pills are important. (Booth comes over with his jacket on looking very concerned) If you forget to take them you get clots, have a heart attack, or stroke.", "HANK: (shaking his head) I don't think so.", "BOOTH: Pops, when was the last time you took them.", "HANK: Uhh...a few days ago.", "BRENNAN: We have to go get this refilled. He should take them right away.", "HANK: (looking to Booth) I'm fine.", "BOOTH: No no. You're coming with us. Okay Pops? I'm going to make sure you take them in front of me. Alright? Come on.", "(Medico Legal-Lab: Angela's Office)", "(Cam and Angela are looking at the 3D rendering of the hand)", "ANGELA: The center of the palm has some kind of injury. Brennan suspects it's defensive.", "CAM: There was a cake next to them. Could the injury be caused by a knife?", "ANGELA: No. It's not a knife. See the markings are jagged. No, it doesn't indicate any recognizable weapon. By filling in the injury I can make a virtual mold of the injured area.", "CAM: It's a nose.", "ANGELA: (laughing) Killed by a nose? That'd be a first. I'll see if I can match any possible weapons. Maybe something old.", "(Booth's Car)", "(Booth is driving, Brennan is in the passenger seat and Hank is riding in the middle seat in the back)", "BOOTH: So you took it Pops, you took the pill?", "HANK: I took it. You saw me.", "BRENNAN: I got you a pill box that has a compartment for each day's pills. That way you won't forget.", "HANK: I won't forget. So where're we going?", "BOOTH: Well...we're going to a...(looking to Brennan to find a better description) it's an unusual spot. It's where...what would be the PC word for fat?", "HANK: There's nothing wrong with big women. You're grandma has some jam in her jelly.", "BOOTH: Alright, Pops.", "BRENNAN: Being overweight wasn't always stigmitized. During the Middle Ages in Italy, the wealthy and influential members of society were called \"popolo grasso,\" meaning literally \"fat people.\"", "HANK: Is she always like this?", "BOOTH: You know what, Pops? She always has the facts, Pops. Always.", "HANK: You should go on a game show. You'd clean up.", "BOOTH: I tell her that all the time. But you know...she's already loaded.", "HANK: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money. And you're just friends? (Brennan and Booth both look back at Hank) I didn't raise you very well.", "(Brennan and Booth look at each other, then look away at the same time)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Club Jiggle)", "(\"Baby Got Back\" is playing in the background. Overweight women are dancing with skinny men. Some men are feeding the women. Brennan and Booth are observing the room. Hank is standing in front of them, staring)", "HANK: Freaky.", "BOOTH: Hey look, Pops. I want you to stick close. I don't want you disappearing into one of those women.", "BRENNAN: They seem quite happy. Obviously they haven't seen their blood sugar levels.", "(A large woman pops up from the table in front of them)", "WOMAN: Hey baby. You're not with the celery stick, are you?", "BOOTH: No...I mean yes, yeah. (he puts his arm around Brennan and pulls her closer)", "BRENNAN: My body mass index is within the accepted medical norms.", "WOMAN: You don't know what you're missing. (she winks at Booth)", "BOOTH: Hey listen, Pops. We're going to go talk to the bartender. You going to be okay? (Hank is staring at the woman and not paying attention. Booth snaps him out of it) Pops?", "HANK: Will you stop asking me that?", "BOOTH: Alright, come on. (Booth leads Brennan over to the bar. Hank looks back at the women dancing. He sways to a couple beats)", "(Club Jiggle: At the bar)", "(The bartender sees Booth and Brennan approach. Booth flashes his badge)", "BARTENDER: Is there a problem?", "BOOTH: I just want to ask you a few questions. (he takes out a picture of Meg) Do you recognize this girl?", "BARTENDER: (looking at the picture) Yeah. Meg. She's been coming here for years. She just lost a bunch of weight. I guess she switched sides.", "BRENNAN: Did you ever see her with a man, approximately 5'5\", 260 pounds?", "BARTENDER: Is Meg alright?", "BOOTH: She's dead. (the bartender looks shocked) That might help jog your memory a little bit.", "BARTENDER: Oh, man. Yeah, sure. Let's see. There was one guy. (she pauses. Brennan and Booth wait for more)", "BRENNAN: Yes?", "BARTENDER: Glasses?", "BOOTH: I don't know. You tell us.", "BARTENDER: Big, of course. Short. Meg bought him a bacon burger and some cake. The guy loved cake. Just like Meg used to. She must have fed him...six pieces. Devil's Food.", "BOOTH: Great, great. Do you got a name?", "BARTENDER: Sorry. Did he kill her?", "BOOTH: He's dead too. (the bartender makes a disgusted face) Yeah.", "BARTENDER: He had a goatee...Oh wait. Hugo. She called him Hugo.", "BOOTH: Hugo? Great, thank you.", "BARTENDER: Sure. Sorry about Meg.", "(Club Jiggle)", "(Brennan and Booth come back into the dance section of the club)", "BRENNAN: We should see if there are any Hugo's on the real estate agent's list.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well she hasn't given me the list yet.", "BRENNAN: Well maybe she had a reason not to.", "BOOTH: That's exactly what I was thinking. (he looks towards the dance floor) Look at that, huh?", "(Hank is dancing with a couple of women, clearly enjoying himself. Brennan laughs)", "BRENNAN: They like him.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well you know? He never had any problems with the ladies.", "(Hank whispers something in one woman's ear and she laughs quite loudly. Brennan looks concerned)", "BRENNAN: We should get him home.", "BOOTH: Nah, let's just give him a second there, huh? He's having a good time. No rush.", "(Booth continues to watch Hank dance and likes that Hank is having a good time. Brennan observes this and smiles)", "(FBI Building: Conference Room)", "(Katie and Howard are sitting at the table when Booth and Brennan walk in)", "BOOTH: Mr. Fileman. I didn't expect to see you here.", "HOWARD: Katie said she was going to see you and suggested I come along.", "BOOTH: Did you bring the list of people who had access to the house?", "KATIE: (handing a paper to Booth) Yes I did.", "BOOTH: Right, then what's he doing here.", "KATIE: He can't sell his house as long as it's a crime scene.", "BRENNAN: Neither can you.", "KATIE: That was nasty.", "BOOTH: But it's true.", "HOWARD: Look the bank is threatening to foreclose like, you know, this is my fault. I can't lose my house before I have a chance to sell. Katie said you could help.", "(Booth looks to Katie. She looks down.)", "BOOTH: I'm sorry but it's an active crime scene.", "HOWARD: My wife and I built that house together. After she died I couldn't get any work. 21 years as a master carpenter, you know? Means nothing. How is that fair?", "(Katie places her hand on Howard's shoulder)", "KATIE: If you could just sign a request for a stay of foreclosure for, uh, unforseen circumstances, like a government investigation? I brought the form, Agent Booth. (she hands Booth another paper)", "BRENNAN: This isn't a very long list.", "KATIE: Not a very good market.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to a name on the list out to Booth) Hugo. Tucker.", "BOOTH: Hugo Tucker? Tucker? Uh, would he happen to have been overweight, goatee, glasses, by any chance?", "KATIE: Tucker? Yeah. I think so. He looked at the house a few times. Thought he was going to make an offer.", "HOWARD: I remember him. He really loved the custom work I'd done. Nice man.", "BRENNAN: Well he's probably the other victim.", "HOWARD: Oh god. Is this going to delay things more?", "BOOTH: I'll see what I can do.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Bone Room)", "(Clark is examining bone fragments. Cam enters)", "CLARK: I've pulled all the teeth we've found in the ashes. These incisors and molars, they match the x-rays that were sent over from Hugo Tucker's dentist.", "CAM: So it's definitely him? (Clark nods) Any markers on the fragments that could help Angela ID a weapon?", "CLARK: All the bone damage I've found so far is a result of fire. The heat causes the bone to break apart into small crescent shapes. (bringing a magnifier over the bones) Like this. Or they'll show a criss-cross pattern. (he moves the device again) Like this.", "CAM: Huh. Have you gone through them all?", "CLARK: I'm still looking.", "CAM: Excellent. (she begins to exit but then turns back around) Oh. And I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday that you felt relaxed enough to talk about your grandfather.", "CLARK: I'm human, you know? I just believe in working at work.", "CAM: I realize that. I do.", "CLARK: And I love my grandfather very much, but...I really should have the discipline to keep it to myself.", "CAM: Of course. Then carry on. (she heads to the door once more)", "CLARK: He never got to see what I became. (Cam stops and waits) What I do...it's for him.", "CAM: I'm sure he'd be very proud. (she turns and exits)", "(FBI Building Office Floor)", "(Brennan and Booth are exiting Booth's office and walking towards the kitchenette)", "BOOTH: (handing Brennan a picture) Hugo Tucker. Single.", "BRENNAN: Huh. Glasses and goatee.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Signed in at the open house. I talked to his roommate. No enemies, he wasn't in debt. There's no reason why somebody would want him dead.", "BRENNAN: Jealousy. What if Meg had a boyfriend?", "BOOTH: No. Her roommate said there was no one special.", "BRENNAN: I still don't like the real estate lady.", "BOOTH: Interesting. (they enter the kitchenette and Booth heads to the vending machine) thought you didn't like to go by your gut.", "BRENNAN: Well, I was just trying it out. (she makes a disgusted face) It's not satisfying.", "BOOTH: Right.", "(Brennan's cell rings. She answers)", "BRENNAN: Brennan. Oh, hi Hank.", "BOOTH: (having trouble with the machine) Hank? Why is he calling you?", "BRENNAN: For dinner. Tonight at 7. We'll play dominoes after.", "BOOTH: No. No. Tell him he doesn't have to make me dinner.", "BRENNAN: (into the phone) Booth says that you don't have to make dinner. (she listens, laughs then turns to Booth) Okay. He says shut up and don't be late. (she laughs again) Okay, Hank. Alright. Thanks, bye. (She hangs up) He says he's going to teach me how to kick your ass.", "BOOTH: Ha. That'll be the day. I don't think so. I don't like that real estate agent either. Maybe...what if she was sleeping with Hugo. (Brennan's cell rings again. She tries answer but Booth grabs the phone) Give me that. (he answers) Listen Pops, okay, we're trying to work here.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins' office)", "HODGINS: (on the phone) Not Pops. But I'm interested to know what's going on.", "(The Kitchenette)", "BOOTH: Nothing special. What is it Hodgins?", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins' Room)", "(Hodgins is showing a sample of something in a petri dish to Booth and Brennan. Cam and Angela are also there)", "HODGINS: So this was melted onto one of the bedsprings.", "BOOTH: (looking with a magnifying glass) What is that?", "BRENNAN: It's a slim ring.", "BOOTH: One more time. What is that?", "HODGINS: It's a gastric banding device that actually limits the amount of food a person's stomach can hold at one time.", "CAM: A surgical means of losing weight.", "ANGELA: Well that's how she lost 100 pounds in such a short time.", "BOOTH: Heh. So much for willpower.", "BRENNAN: (looking at it through the microscope) It has a serial number.", "HODGINS: Yeah, exactly. I talked to the doctor who did the operation. It turns out that the slim ring was not registered to Meg Tracy, but it was registered to her roommate, Stephanie Stevens. (Hodgins pulls up a digital copy of the record on the computer)", "CAM: Woah. Meg used her roommate's insurance. Bet Stephanie was pretty mad about that.", "BRENNAN: Well especially if she wanted to get the same procedure herself. But now couldn't. (Booth's phone rings)", "ANGELA: But mad enough to kill?", "BOOTH: Oh, I've seen people kill for a lot less, believe me. (he answers the phone) Booth. Yeah, God, is he alright? Okay, I'm on my way. (he hangs up) Uh, there was a fire in my place. Pops was cooking and the stove and uh...(he exits quickly. the others look worried)", "(Booth's apartment)", "(Firemen are leaving. Booth is thanking them. He shuts the door and walks into the kitchen. The entire stove area is charred. Hank is standing there)", "HANK: It's that stupid stove. Who has a stove like that?", "BOOTH: You left a dishtowel on the stove, Pops.", "HANK: (shaking his head) I don't thinks so.", "BOOTH: You know, you could have been hurt. You could have been killed.", "HANK: I always used to make dinner for you. (Booth nods) Done it more than a million times. (he walks into the living room and sits on the arm of the couch) It's that damn stove.", "BOOTH: (nodding) Alright.", "(Booth's Office)", "(He enters with Hank, Brennan and Sweets behind him)", "BOOTH: I won't be long, Pops. I just have to question the suspect.", "HANK: I don't need a babysitter, you know. (looking at Sweets) And I do mean baby. Why can't I stay here with Temperance?", "BRENNAN: Oh, I have work at the lab. Perhaps you can teach Sweets to play dominoes.", "BOOTH: (grabbing a file off his desk and coming back around to Hank) Great idea.", "SWEETS: I already know how. I don't think he'd have a chance.", "HANK: You don't know who you're messing with, squirt.", "SWEETS: Bring it on, old man.", "BOOTH: (handing a box of dominoes to Hank) Those are fighting words, Pops. Thanks Sweets. (he nods to Brennan to leave)", "BRENNAN: Okay, see you later Hank. (Brennan and Booth exit)", "HANK: (alone with Sweets) You know, what happened to me could have happened to anybody.", "(They sit in the corner chairs)", "SWEETS: Oh, I know.", "HANK: Just because I'm carrying a few extra years doesn't mean I can't take care of myself.", "SWEETS: I know.", "HANK: (staring at Sweets) Smart ass. (he opens the dominoes and dumps them on the table) I go first.", "SWEETS: Alright.", "(FBI Office floor: by the elevators)", "(Booth is leading Brennan to the elevators)", "BOOTH: Thanks for coming in Bones. You know, he really wanted to see you.", "BRENNAN: Are you sure you don't need me?", "BOOTH: No. I'll interrogate her roommate and if I get anything, I'll call you.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I guess he needs more than I can give right now. (he waits for a response. she gives none) Maybe I should take a leave of absence.", "BRENNAN: Can you afford to do that? You have a son to take care of too.", "BOOTH: No. Pops will think I don't love him.", "BRENNAN: (shocked) Really?", "BOOTH: I should go. (he leaves to go to the interrogation room)", "(FBI Building: Interrogation Room)", "(Booth is interrogating Stephanie)", "BOOTH: So we know that Meg used your insurance card for the slim ring surgery.", "STEPHANIE: (confused) What? That's why I got turned down?", "BOOTH: What? You didn't know?", "STEPHANIE: I...went in for a routine check-up and my insurance declined payment. They said I'd exceeded my annual limit. I thought it was a mistake. That's how she lost the weight? That bitch.", "BOOTH: So are you saying she stole your insurance card?", "STEPHANIE: Well, no. I...I...I let her use my card, but not for that. She was sick, she didn't have any insurance so I helped her out.", "BOOTH: Well you know that's a crime, right?", "STEPHANIE: Well isn't it a crime when your roommate screws you out of 10 grand worth of medical coverage?", "BOOTH: Sorry, but you're not answering my question here.", "STEPHANIE: She cheated on our bet. I paid for her trip to Hawaii too. I can't believe this.", "BOOTH: So you were at the party the night that Meg was killed, correct?", "STEPHANIE: Yes.", "BOOTH: Well we talked to those people off the list that you gave us and, um, that's an awfully big party, big enough for you to disappear. And no one could really tell if you'd gone or if you'd left. They didn't know.", "STEPHANIE: Great. You're never going to believe me so now I have to pay for a lawyer too.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Bone Room)", "(Brennan enters. Clark is there. He has the bones separated into 2 piles)", "BRENNAN: Have you found anything Dr. Edison?", "CLARK: Yes. All of these bone fragments are scarred exclusively with markers from the fire. But these two... (he points to a tray where he has 2 small pieces laying) a piece of the parietal and occipital seem to show evidence of being fractured.", "BRENNAN: (looking at the bones under magnification) Huh. Definitely could have been made by the pointed object Angela is trying to identify. (she pokes the pieces with the tweezers) But look at this. (liquid comes off on the tweezer)", "CLARK: Residue on the edge of the fracture?", "BRENNAN: It's a resin.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Hodgins' Room)", "(The results of the mass spectrometer come up on the monitor)", "HODGINS: Resin consists of turpines and phenolic compounds.", "BRENNAN: It's wood. He was struck with a weapon made out of wood.", "HODGINS: Teak, to be exact.", "CLARK: The bed is teak.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Platform)", "(Hodgins, Cam, Brennan, Angela and Clark are all standing around the bed)", "BRENNAN: The wounds on Meg's hand were clearly defensive so she couldn't have accidentally hit her hand against the posts.", "CAM: And the blows were sufficient to render them unconscious.", "ANGELA: (pointing to the head bedposts) The finials.", "HODGINS: The what?", "ANGELA: The decorative knobs that go on top of the posts. They're missing.", "(Medico-Legal Lab: Angela's Office)", "(All 5 squints are now in front of Angela's monitor)", "ANGELA: So the rest of the bed was carved which means the finials must have been carved too. (She pulls up pictures of the exterior and interior of the house) Okay. This is the real estate agents virtual tour of Howard's house. (she pulls up a picture of the bed in the bedroom) Look. We have finials. (she zooms in on them. they are carved in the shape of a woman's head)", "CAM: The reason why the image looked like a nose was because it was a nose. (Angela takes the hand impression and tries matching it to the finial. no match) The victim was beaten with one of these heads. (She pulls up the other finial. This one is a man)", "BRENNAN: Wait, that's Howard Fileman, the homeowner. He said he was a master carpenter.", "ANGELA: So the other one was probably his wife. (Brennan nods and she matches the nose on that finial to the hand. It's a match.", "CAM: So it wasn't about who was having s*x, but about where they were having s*x.", "ANGELA: Howard carved this bed for him and his wife. It was a symbol of their love.", "HODGINS: Meg and Hugo both had roommates. The house was cheaper than a hotel.", "CAM: Howard catches Meg and Hugo having s*x in his bed.", "CLARK: Weird cake s*x.", "HODGINS: He kills them, sets the bed on fire, then leaves with the busts of him and his wife.", "ANGELA: That's so sweet. (they all look at her quizzically) a...a...and it's horrible too. It's mainly horrible.", "BRENNAN: I'll tell Booth. Howard might still have the finials we'll pull blood and tissue from.", "ANGELA: Oh he'll still have them. I guarantee it. It's all he has left of her.", "(FBI Building: Interrogation Room)", "(Howard is sitting across from Booth and Brennan looking at his wife's finial that's in an evidence bag. His finial is also there)", "HOWARD: I went back to...sleep in our bed. I used to stare at her face up on the bedpost and pretend she was next to me. But I found them. It wasn't right.", "(Booth's Apartment)", "(Booth and Hank are in the living room about to eat dinner)", "HANK: I don't know why you got take out. I could have cooked dinner.", "BOOTH: Right. Try this one here, it's chicken. You'll love it.", "HANK: Oh I don't think so. It doesn't look like chicken to me. (Booth looks at him) I'll try it anyway.", "BOOTH: (handing him a fork) Look I got you a fork because I know how much you hate chopsticks. Alright?", "HANK: Good job.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (he watches Hank spread his napkin) Listen. There's something I got to tell you.", "HANK: I know. This isn't chicken. I already told you that. (Booth half laughs) But there's something I want to say to you first. (Booth lets him speak) I can't tell you how much it means to me to be here with you. To share your life. To see what a good man you've turned out to be.", "BOOTH: Pops...", "HANK: Shut up. This gooey crap isn't easy for me. (Booth smiles) Now listen. I don't want you to think I don't love you. But I've got to go back.", "BOOTH: What?", "HANK: To the place. They need me. Ronald called. He's got no one to fish with. And Margaret needs my help with the crocheting.", "BOOTH: You crochet, Pops?", "HANK: That's what we call s*x. (Booth nods) And lets face it. You're appliances stink.", "BOOTH: I...well, what about the orderlies?", "HANK: Ah don't worry about them. They're used to being hit by them.", "BOOTH: Ok then. You're really sure this is what you want?", "HANK: I already called them. They know I'm coming. Maybe you and your friend can give me a ride, huh?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(Outside Willow River Retirement Community)", "(Hank is wheeling his suitcase to the entrance. Brennan and Booth are following)", "BOOTH: You'll call, right Pops?", "HANK: I'll call. You'll call. We'll visit. We'll be sick of each other. (he stops and turns to Booth and Brennan)", "BRENNAN: I'll miss you, Hank.", "HANK: Of course you will. Shrimp, can you give us a minute?", "(Booth looks to Brennan and then back to Hank)", "BOOTH: Sure, Pops. (He steps away)", "HANK: You remember what I told you.", "BRENNAN: I remember", "HANK: (looking to Booth) He's big and strong. But he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.", "BRENNAN: Scared? What? I'm not scared of anything.", "HANK: It all goes by so fast. You don't want any regrets.", "BRENNAN: I don't understand.", "HANK: Yes you do. (Brennan knows he's right) Give me a hug. (they hug. Hank points to Booth) Alright it's your turn.", "BOOTH: (as he passes Brennan who steps away from Hank) What did he say to you?", "HANK: None of your business. Now listen. You remember? It's all in there. (pointing his fist over Booth's heart) Everything you need to know. (Hank looks at Brennan. Then back to Booth) You just do what it tells you.", "BOOTH: I love you, Pops.", "HANK: I love you. (They hug) Okay, okay now. I can't breathe. Alright.", "(He and Booth do their special handshake. Brennan also waves and steps back to them)", "HANK: Alright then. (he wheels his suitcase through the doors)", "BOOTH: What he say to you?", "BRENNAN: Nothing. Just saying goodbye. You?", "BOOTH: Me? Uh...nothing. Just...be a good boy. Stuff like that. (they watch Hank disappear) We should go.", "BRENNAN: Yeah.", "(neither moves. Then they turn away together)", "BOOTH: I like that thing around your neck.", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: That thing that you're wearing around your neck. It looks really good.", "BRENNAN: (touching the necklace) Oh. You've seen it before.", "BOOTH: I don't think so.", "BRENNAN: Well...thanks.", "BOOTH: Sure.", "(They walk off together as the screen fades to black)" ]

[ "When the remains of a competitive gamer are discovered in a grease truck, Brennan and Booth are called to investigate the case. The victim, Steve Rifton, is the only active player known in the gaming community to have received a perfect score on a famous video game. Steve turned his success into a lucrative partnership with a gaming referee and charged fans to play on the very machine that gave him the perfect score. But between sour business deals and bitter competitors, the team at the Jeffersonian must work to narrow down the many suspects with motive for ending Rifton's reign as gaming king. Meanwhile, Hodgins, Sweets and Jeffersonian intern Colin Fischer take turns camping out for tickets to a movie premiere." ]

[ "TEASER", "EXT. BACK ALLEY OF A FAST FOOD CHAIN - NIGHT", "(FATHER and SON are collecting grease from a grease receptacle. They are maneuvering hoses.)", "SON: Sucking fry oil from these seafood restaurants are the worst. I don't mind the chicken places but the seafood makes me sick.", "FATHER: Quit moanin' and put the hose in.", "SON: (Opens a panel of the grease receptacle) Ugh, smells like shrimp. (Puts the hose in) Okay! Suck it.", "(The father turns on the machine. Something gets caught in the hose.)", "SON: Hold it. Hold it. (He pulls out...) Ugh, I got hair. A lot. It's gross.", "FATHER: Probably a rat. Let's just open 'er up.", "(They open up the receptacle together. It looks unappetizing.)", "FATHER: Go ahead and pull it out.", "(Son reaches his gloved hand in and pulls out a fleshy, dead human. Son screams as the camera pans to the corpse slowly sinking back into the grease.)", "EXT. BACK ALLEY OF A FAST FOOD CHAIN - DAY", "(Police sirens.)", "(FBI and police cars are already at the scene. CAM is also there directing personnel. BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive. They are walking from Booth's car.)", "BOOTH: Fishing is not a sport.", "BRENNAN: What? Monuments to sporting events in Ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling.", "BOOTH: C'mon. No sweat, no sport.", "BRENNAN: Well. Oh, Boris Spassky at chess. He used to perspire profusely.", "BOOTH: Why do you gotta make things so complicated? Let me break it down for you, okay? Basketball, football, hockey... that's a sport. Board games, fishing? Not a sport.", "CAM: No problem going easy on the fried food after this one.", "(They walk towards the body)", "BOOTH: Woah.", "BRENNAN: Well, the International Olympic Committee is considering adding chess as a sport.", "(Booth scoffs)", "CAM: Not a sport.", "BOOTH: See? Not a sport.", "CAM: Neither is, uh, ribbon twirling, bridge, or synchronized swimming.", "BOOTH: Synchronized swimming. That is not a sport. That's for sure.", "(Brennan makes an unhappy noise)", "CAM: Oh god. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I?", "(Booth whistles and points to the body)", "CAM: Oh look! Dead guy.", "BOOTH: Yeah, look at that. Colonel's not gonna like this one.", "CAM: Male. No sign of clothing. All other stats still unknown. He was found at the bottom of this grease receptacle by those lovely gentlemen over there.", "BRENNAN: The remains are covered in flesh. Why am I here?", "CAM: I don't know. I told Booth.", "(Booth makes a noise)", "CAM: Oh god. In the middle, again.", "BOOTH: Look, I heard murder victim, you know, in cooking oil and I thought, 'Bones would just love this one'. So, how long has tempura guy been in there?", "CAM: The tank hasn't been emptied in a couple weeks.", "BOOTH: Two weeks, okay.", "BRENNAN: I could be biking now. An activity during which I perspire.", "CAM: Daily addition of hot oil hastened decomposition and led to early hydration of body fat.", "BOOTH: God, so he drowned or maybe fried?", "BRENNAN: Billiards is considered a sport by the International Olympic Committee.", "BOOTH: Bones, we're working here.", "BRENNAN: Not me.", "(She walks away, playing with her phone)", "BOOTH: Wa-woah.", "CAM: Can we get the body out of here, please?", "(She also moves away and observes as the tech guys lift the body out)", "TECH GUY: Be careful now. Easy.", "CAM: Okay, careful.", "TECH GUY: Easy. Is the skin slipping? The skin is slipping!", "(And all of the skin, organs, and intestines start to fall off in clumps onto the pavement. Cam and Booth watch in fascination, horror, and disgust. As do we all.)", "CAM: Oh my.", "BOOTH: Uh, Bones! Look at that - bones, huh?", "BRENNAN: Oh, this is good for me.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(Brennan walks over to the four tech guys who are still holding onto the skeleton. She snaps on some gloves)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB", "(HODGINS, SWEETS, and FISHER are standing around a workstation)", "SWEETS: You're kidding. Avatar?", "FISHER: Yup. (Flicks at the three 'Avatar Premiere' tickets in his hand) There were over 10 000 entries for 500 tickets.", "SWEETS: And you won.", "FISHER: Yeah. Good fortune. If I thought that good fortune existed.", "HODGINS: And you're taking us.", "FISHER: All friendship is fleeting and ends in abandonment so, why not spend a few good hours with you guys until it all falls apart.", "(Fisher has a file in his hand and the three of them are walking towards another workstation)", "SWEETS: Works for me.", "HODGINS: Heck yeah, it does. Nice. Avatar. You guys do realize that being this excited about a sci-fi film will drastically cut down on the number of women that will sleep with us.", "FISHER: Oh, I'm into the high double digits, sex-wise so... not worried.", "SWEETS: You're closing in on a hundred women?", "FISHER: Mhm.", "(Sweets does not look happy about this)", "BRENNAN (O.S.): Mr. Fisher? I'm ready.", "FISHER: Coming, Dr. Brennan.", "(Fisher slaps Hodgins with the folder and walks off)", "SWEETS: A hundred women? That's a lot.", "HODGINS: Yeah, yeah. Hats off to the guy, huh?", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM", "(Brennan and Fisher are examining the body)", "BRENNAN: Compound depressed fracture to the temporal bone.", "FISHER: More hairline fractures on the femur, humerus, and scapula.", "BRENNAN: And here. On the right ilium.", "FISHER: There are puncture marks on the ilium, ilia lumbar and sacroiliac. So, he was beaten and stabbed. Somebody really went after this guy.", "(Cam arrives, carrying a bowl of organ)", "CAM: Those injuries didn't kill him. There's grease in all levels of the bronchi, which means our victim was alive when he was tossed into the vat. (She squeezes liquid out of the lung into the bowl) Cause of death is drowning in cooking. Or, vice versa.", "FISHER: Saturated fats. They're a killer.", "(The three of them walk over to a computer as Cam brings up a graph)", "CAM: Also, carboxyhemoglobin test shows our victim had a 17% carbon monoxide level - triple the norm and double what even the heaviest people would have.", "FISHER: He could've worked with cars. Along the freeway, maybe a tollbooth?", "BRENNAN: (Turns back to the body) Let's review occupational markers. Acute asymmetrical spinal subluxation, which in life would've been apparent in a pronounced leftward lean. Chronic periosteal reaction with bone formation over the clavical -", "CAM: - Constant pressure on his collarbone.", "BRENNAN: Mhm. Remodeled bite marks on the tibia - probably canine.", "FISHER: Sounds like this guy spent most of his life carrying something heavy on his left shoulder while dodging dogs.", "BRENNAN: Together with the high levels of carbon monoxide, I posit that our victim was a mail carrier.", "FISHER: Someone went postal on this postman.", "OPENING CREDITS", "ACT TWO", "INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - KITCHEN", "(Booth shows Brennan the Postal ID card of STEVE RIFTON. Booth is sitting on the counter while Brennan is examining the card.)", "BOOTH: Steve Rifton: 26 year-old mailman reported missing by his wife 12 days ago. (He hops off the counter) You figured out he was a mailman and guess what? He's a mailman!", "BRENNAN: Why are you surprised?", "BOOTH: It just surprises me. It amazes me sometimes how you figure that stuff out - he's a mailman, you figured that out.", "(Booth takes out a map)", "BRENNAN: I'm good at my job.", "BOOTH: Wait 'til you see what I got here. Okay. Here -", "BRENNAN: Oh, marked in red -", "BOOTH: Right - Is Steve Rifton's postal route. (He circles the area with his finger) And here -", "BRENNAN: Marked in black -", "BOOTH: Right - Is the grease truck route. See what I've done here?", "BRENNAN: Obviously, you've created a geographic Venn diagram.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, no, incorrect. What I've shown here is they've overlapped in the same area.", "BRENNAN: You need to Google 'Venn diagram'.", "BOOTH: No, you know what I'm thinking? Lonely housewife, you know, husband away on a business trip. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.", "BRENNAN: What's 'bow-chicka-wow-wow'?", "BOOTH: You know, boom-clicka-mow-mow. It's very - uh - common porno-plot theme which, in real life, it's a jealous husband stuffing, you know, a horny mailman in the grease traps.", "(Booth is also attempting to refold the map, can't, which results in Brennan taking it from him, successfully refolding it and handing it back. This whole exchange is rather adorable.)", "BRENNAN: Who's that?", "BOOTH: It's the victim's wife.", "BRENNAN: (She stops him as they near the sliding doors) Well, are we going to tell her about the clacka-mow-boom-chicka-mow-mow-boom?", "BOOTH: (He opens the door) No, no, it's bow-chicka-wow-wow, boom-clacka-mow-mow.", "INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - CONFERENCE ROOM", "(Booth, Brennan and JILL RIFTON are sitting at the desk)", "JILL RIFTON: It's so unfair. All those years of effort. Steve finally gets somewhere and then gets killed.", "BOOTH: Can you think of anyone who would want your husband dead?", "JILL RIFTON: You know who Steve is, right? I mean, was.", "BRENNAN: A postman.", "BOOTH: Yeah, mailman.", "JILL RIFTON: That was Steve's job, his vocation. (She takes out her wallet from her purse) His avocation was gaming. (She hands Brennan a picture)", "BRENNAN: He was a professional gambler? (She shows Booth the picture)", "JILL RIFTON: Video gaming. My husband became the reigning world champ in Punky Pong after he got a perfect score. It was on the news.", "BOOTH: Did he have any enemies?", "JILL RIFTON: Sure. The thousands of people he beat out for the world title. It's a very competitive sport.", "BRENNAN: Ah, Agent Booth would never accept Punky Pong as a sport.", "BOOTH: Did your husband have any trouble at work?", "JILL RIFTON: Steve was never gonna be Postmaster General, that's for sure. He had a very high IQ; you know how those people can be - very absentminded.", "BRENNAN: I don't think that's true. At all.", "JILL RIFTON: Sometimes it was tough to get his attention but he was a good man. Please find whoever hurt him.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM", "(Fisher and Hodgins are standing around while the body soaks in a clear container with kegs of beer feeding into it.)", "HODGINS: Does Dr. Brennan know you're soaking the body in beer?", "FISHER: Yeast speeds up the putrefaction process. It's the kinder, gentler way of removing the last vestiges of flesh and cartilage from the skeleton.", "(Sweets enters)", "SWEETS: Is that beer?", "HODGINS: Yeah. Yeah, it beats being scrapped or eaten by beetles.", "FISHER: Technically, his remaining cells will be very drunk before he ceases to exist.", "HODGINS: So, hey, Fisher. How long does this thing take to marinate?", "FISHER: Few hours.", "HODGINS: Okay, good. Both of you - come with me.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE", "(The Avatar trailer plays on the Angelatron.)", "SWEETS: Oh, okay, I am no longer able to discern special effects from live action.", "HODGINS: This is 2D. 3D is gonna blow your mind. Oh, one of us needs to be in line right now.", "FISHER: Okay, we're up against freaks and fanatics for the best seats. To defeat them, we must become freaks and fanatics.", "SWEETS: (looking at his PDA) Right, well, I cleared most of my days but I am a mental health professional with responsibilities.", "(ANGELA walks in looking less than happy)", "FISHER: Between me and Hodgins, we'll have the forensics covered.", "ANGELA: What's with the blue people?", "(The three guys turn to look at her)", "HODGINS, SWEETS, FISHER (in unison): The Navi", "ANGELA: I beg your pardon.", "FISHER: Denizens of a lush planet called Pandora.", "ANGELA: You boys are not allowed to watch movies on my monitor.", "(Angela, with arms crossed, walks in front of the screen)", "HODGINS: Angela. This is so much more than a movie.", "SWEETS: Yeah, I mean, we're sorry but the screen is so big.", "FISHER: You get p0rn on this thing?", "ANGELA: (Pointing) Get out. (More forcefully) Out.", "(They leave. Hodgins hands her the control.)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB", "(Fisher, Hodgins, and Sweets are planning)", "FISHER: All right, listen, I'll take the first shift, you guys cover me.", "SWEETS: Everyone email me your projected availabilities, I'll set up a schedule.", "HODGINS: Yup.", "FISHER: Okay.", "(They break.)", "EXT. SEEGER HOME - NIGHT", "(Booth and Brennan are getting out of his car)", "BOOTH: Our mailman had a clean record except for complaints from this guy Seeger.", "BRENNAN: Right. Seeger claims that he trespassed and was acting creepy around his son.", "BOOTH: Well, protecting the well being of your own kid seems like a good reason to kill someone - I'm not saying that I approve, I'm just saying - look, I understand.", "(They approach the garage and hear video game noises. They see a boy, DOUGIE SEEGER. He is concentrating intently on the game.)", "BRENNAN: Oo. This is probably the child who got creeped on by the victim. (They enter the garage) Hello?", "BOOTH: Excuse me. Hello?", "BRENNAN: Hello?", "BOOTH: Hi. I'm Agent Booth. (He takes out his badge) I'm with the FBI.", "BRENNAN: Oh, show him your gun. Kids love guns.", "BOOTH: Let me handle this.", "(Dougie's father, KEITH SEEGER, enters from the house entrance)", "KEITH SEEGER: Can I help you?", "BOOTH: Yeah, Agent Booth with the FBI. I'm her to talk to you about the mailman incident.", "KEITH SEEGER: That was 3 months ago.", "BOOTH: Right. And what was the problem?", "KEITH SEEGER: The problem was - I come out, the guy is here staring at my son. Dougie, uh, is autistic. He can't watch out for himself in that way.", "BRENNAN: (Standing next to the machine where Dougie is playing) He's very focused on this game.", "KEITH SEEGER: Punky Pong. Dougie plays it most of the day. Take it away, he shuts - shuts down. So uh, someone else complain about the mailman? That why the FBI's involved?", "BOOTH: Look. You're aware that this mailman is the Punky Pong World Champion.", "KEITH SEEGER: You gotta be kidding me. That's why he was checking out Dougie? The game? Well, he should've said something. He just took off. That's why I made the complaint. If I was out of line, I'll apologize.", "(The video game screen shows Game Over. Dougie looks over at Brennan who smiles at him. He just turns back to the game and starts over at level 1.)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE - LATER", "(Angela and Brennan are standing in front of Angela's monitor where screen shots of Punky Pong are seen.)", "ANGELA: Punky Pong is kind of an old-school game but it takes a lot of skill. There are a lot of message boards and websites dedicated to it even today. But, I found something on one of them -", "BRENNAN: How many people play?", "ANGELA: Uh, thousands. They put out a retro version on modern platforms like Xbox and it's having this whole resurgence but what I found is -", "BRENNAN: Why do they only allow world records to be attained on a vintage arcade machine?", "ANGELA: Well, I guess the purists like it old school. But, sweetie, I think you need to see -", "BRENNAN: Are there many of those machines? Because the autistic boy had one.", "ANGELA: Uh, I think around 20 000 were made and there are probably about 1500 that are still in existence but I think this is something that you really need to see. (She brings up a video of BILLY GABEL) This is Billy Gabel. He was the Punky Pong World Champion before our murder victim claimed the throne.", "(Angela hits play)", "BILLY GABEL (on screen, vehemently): I am still the rightful champion. The manner in which Steve Rifton stole my crown is shameful. I will not put up with this. Steve Rifton: I am the rightful and eternal World Champion and you are dead.", "BRENNAN: Angela. You should've shown me this first.", "ANGELA: Uh - (chuckles good-naturedly as she clearly tried to) well - okay.", "ACT THREE", "INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - SWEETS' OFFICE - NEXT DAY", "(Sweets watches the video of Billy Gabel on his laptop with Booth and Brennan)", "SWEETS: Okay. So, video games provide the outlet for aggression that more physically taxing sports also provide.", "BOOTH: C'mon, video games are not a sport.", "BRENNAN: Well, technically they are. Sport being a competitive activity governed by a set of rules -", "SWEETS: Dr. Brennan is correct.", "BOOTH: Right, okay, so you actually think that this geek is capable of murder because some guy beat his high score?", "SWEETS: Oh yeah. If one's instincts are deeply rooted in the status that they've enjoyed from the game and someone takes that away -", "BOOTH: It would just be another geek lining up to see a space movie.", "SWEETS: No! It's not just another space movie! It's a symbol-laden alternate reality with... (Booth and Brennan look at him strangely. Sweets sighs and gives up.) So, this guy was the recognized champion for nearly 10 years, right? If he feels that his notoriety was stolen, he might take revenge. (Sweets' phone rings. It's Hodgins.) Sorry. (He exchanges some weird looks with Booth and Brennan as he ponders whether to answer. He does.) This is Dr. Lance Sweets.", "Hodgins (O.S.): Yo.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM", "(Hodgins is straddling the phone on his shoulder as he examines evidence)", "HODGINS: Fisher just called from the movie line. He's gotta get back to the lab so you have to relieve him because I can't.", "INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION", "SWEETS: I understand. That's a fascinating case, um - (to Booth and Brennan) I'm needed for a consult. We're - we're through here, right?", "BOOTH: Oh no, you're coming with us to see if this geek is actually psycho or not, pal.", "SWEETS: Yeah... okay. (Into phone) So I'm afraid you're gonna have to, uh, take care of the patient on your own at this juncture. Right now.", "HODGINS: Sweets, I'm knee-deep in larvae and dicotyledons here.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry doctor. Bye now.", "HODGINS (O.S.): Sweets! Don't -", "(Sweets hangs up)", "HODGINS: Okay. (Hodgins hangs up with a sigh)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM - A LITTLE LATER", "(Hodgins is briefing Cam. He says all this rather quickly.)", "HODGINS: This is it. This is it. This is all I've got so far.", "CAM: Please tell me these all crawled into the dumpster after the oil was removed from the restaurant.", "HODGINS: No. All the insects had antemortem burns, which means they flew into the oil while it was cooking.", "CAM: So easy to diet around here.", "HODGINS: So, I assumed that the fragment of the cricket exoskeleton from the skull wound trace had migrated into the skull from the grease but definitely uncooked which means my three mysterious particulates were all transferred from the weapon. Now, (he brings up a new picture on the computer screen) the exoskeleton is from the Gryllidae family, probably a nocturnal cricket, the graminoid seed is from a fescue grass and I thought the silk-like fiber was from a tetrapod but what kind is indeterminate at this point.", "CAM: You're talking really fast. Are you late for something?", "HODGINS: No. No. Why? Do you want me to go through it all again, more slowly?", "CAM: No, that's okay. Do you know where the cricket and the grass came from?", "HODGINS: Yes. Yes. North America.", "CAM: Great. So, Asia's out.", "HODGINS: I'm still analyzing what was in the water where the fescue grew but, you know, I can check that against specific water districts and narrow down the location further, so...", "CAM: Great.", "(Cam turns to leave and Hodgins checks his watch)", "CAM: Oh. (She turns back around) Have you Fisher?", "HODGINS: Uh, no. No. But I'll go find him.", "CAM: That's not necessary. I'm sure he'll turn up.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but you know what, the mass spec is doing its thing and the computer, the computer really checks all the districts so I'm on autopilot here for at least the next 2 hours and we know Fisher - how depressed he gets - so I'll go find him.", "(Hodgins rushes out while Cam is left staring after him, confused)", "INT. GABEL VINTAGE GAME REPAIR SHOP", "(Booth, Brennan, and Sweets enters. BILLY GABEL is at the back, repairing something. Booth shows Sweets a plaque with \"Pong Master Bill\" 2004 engraved on it.", "BOOTH: (He pulls the electrical plug and the machine sounds stop) FBI. You Pong Master Bill?", "BILLY GABEL: That's right.", "SWEETS: We're here about the threats you made against Steve Rifton on the internet.", "BILLY GABEL: That guy cheated. I don't believe he played a perfect game. I want my title back.", "BRENNAN: Is this how you made a living? Repairing vintage arcade games?", "BILLY GABEL: It's a skill. I know why he called you. 'Cause he knows what he did was wrong.", "BOOTH: He's dead. Murdered.", "BILLY GABEL: What?", "BOOTH: Did you kill him?", "BRENNAN: These are very complex devices and it appears you have to machine many of the parts yourself.", "BILLY GABEL: Look, if I was gonna kill somebody, it would be the Ref. He's the one that accepted Steve's crappy videotape as evidence of a perfect game.", "BOOTH: And this Ref's name is?", "BILLY GABEL: Chris Ballinger. H heads the Gemini Constellation - the organization that decides on World Records for Punky Pong. Right after Ref declared Steve World Champion, they went into business together.", "BRENNAN: Oh. What kind of business?", "BILLY GABEL: Going out on tours, signing autographs. The way I hear it, the Ref is hooked up with some babe and now he's doing better than ever. Maybe he killed Rifton.", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE", "(It's the screening of Avatar and there is a long line-up outside the theatre. Hodgins finds Fisher in the line.)", "HODGINS: Fisher. There you are. Hey. You gotta get going, man, Cam's looking for you.", "FISHER: It's okay. I gotta set this tent up.", "HODGINS: Hey, this is good! This is really good positioning here, man. Not bad.", "FISHER: You might want to step back. Look out! (The tent enlarges as Fisher throws to stretch it out.)", "HODGINS: Wow, you do this often?", "FISHER: Gotta come prepared. Oh, fresh meat tarts and a box of wine. (He hands the cooler and wine to Hodgins) Have at it.", "(Fisher leaves)", "HODGINS: Nice.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM", "(Fisher rushes in, out of breath. Cam soon follows.)", "FISHER: Hey.", "CAM: Hey. Are you out of breath, Mr. Fisher?", "FISHER: No, I'm - I'm just thankful I'm breathing, you know. Never know when that luxury will end. So, I examined the uh, the marks on the pelvis. They were made by a hollow rigid weapon 9.4 mm in diameter.", "CAM: Was the same weapon used on the victim's skull?", "FISHER: That seems unlikely because the cranial injury was made by a blunt instrument, uh, that left a 12 cm fracture... right there.", "CAM: Any guesses to what it could be?", "FISHER: Not at all. No. But I did, uh, scrap what looks like metal shavings from both the cranial fracture and the uh, stab wounds in the pelvis. Maybe Hodgins can find a match.", "CAM: Very good, Mr. Fisher. (She turns to leave)", "FISHER: All right, I've always been a multitasker.", "CAM: Multitasker? (She turns around again) What would be splitting your focus?", "FISHER: The head and the pelvis. Completely separate parts of the body.", "CAM: Right. Did Hodgins come back with you 'cause I haven't seen him.", "FISHER: Yeah, he should be out there. I gotta get back to work here but he's... check the men's room. Or don't. Good luck.", "(Cam leaves. Fisher breathes a sigh of relief.)", "INT. VIDEO ARCADE", "(Opens on a sign that says: \"Play on Steve Rifton's Winning Punky Pong Machine; High Score plays DEIRDRE RYAN\". Brennan, Booth, and Sweets are walking through.)", "BRENNAN: There is some excellent hand-eye coordination here. This is an activity that could definitely be considered a sport.", "SWEETS: Yeah. There's an intense, competitive edge, skill, stamina -", "BOOTH: For something to be a sport, there has to be some chance of injury, okay guys?", "BRENNAN: Oh, Booth. That man dressed in traditional stripes could be the Ref.", "BOOTH: Not that kind of Ref, okay? (He shows CHRIS BALLINGER his badge) FBI.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: What can I do for the FBI?", "BOOTH: Well, we'd like to ask you a few questions about Steve Rifton.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Oh, I've got a few myself. The guy just disappeared on me. We had a business deal and he left me high and dry. FBI - what? He wasn't kidnapped, was he?", "BOOTH: Oh, he's dead. Which is probably why he didn't keep his business commitment.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: He's dead? Oh man.", "DEIRDRE RYAN: Yes! Take that Steve Rifton! I am the reigning empress of Punky Pong!", "(High fives and cheers all around)", "BRENNAN: (Points) She must be the babe who replaced Steve.", "SWEETS: Wow. You didn't waste any time, did you?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Look, I had business commitments with Steve. Had to move quickly or I was gonna lose a ton of dough.", "DEIRDRE RYAN: (Approaches the group) What's up Chris?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Deirdre. These people are with the FBI.", "(Brennan is pushing through the crowd to get to the machine)", "SWEETS: Plus, gamers are predominantly male so a lot more are gonna turn out to see her compete, right?", "DEIRDRE RYAN: Sexist little twerp. It's not about looks, it's about ability.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Steve is dead, Deirdre. We are suspects so you don't say a thing to these people.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: The front of this machine has been scrubbed.", "(The crowd makes way for Booth and Sweets to approach Brennan. She shines an ultraviolet light on the machine. It is covered in blood.)", "BOOTH: What do you got?", "BRENNAN: Blood.", "BOOTH: Yup. 'K, that's it! Machine is coming with us. Part of a federal investigation now.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT FOUR", "INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - INTERROGATION ROOM", "BOOTH: Did you sign this check, Mr. Ballinger?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Yeah, yeah, this is made out to Steve Rifton", "BOOTH: $12 000. That's a lot of money for an old arcade machine.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Steve not only got the world record in Punky Pong on that very machine, okay? He got a perfect score. What that machine is, there? Is a piece of gaming history. Serious gamers would drop 50 bucks a pop to play on a unique piece of equipment like that. $100 if Steve was standing beside it.", "BOOTH: You see, that is a conflict of interest, right there. So you decide if Rifton gets the world record and you profit from it.", "CHRIS BALLINGER: You've been talking to Billy Gabel, am I right?", "BOOTH: No, we've got a tape proving that Steve Rifton won fair and square, am I right?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Yeah. That's how we do it. Now, if you guys want it for verification, fine. I'll, I'll hand it over.", "BOOTH: How about the blood? Can you explain the blood on the machine?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: Kids play the game, right? They get anxious, hyper even. Sometimes, their noses bleed. Sometimes, they put a little sauce into it and they bash their heads. Either way, I'm cleaning blood off the floor every day. We had a business plan, me and Steve. Why would I kill him?", "BOOTH: I don't know. Maybe he reneges, you take exception, heat of the moment... it's an accident?", "CHRIS BALLINGER: I'm not like that, ask anybody. What I am like is a guy who's smart enough to ask for a lawyer.", "BOOTH: No problem.", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE", "(Sweets is sitting in the lawn chair reading the DSM-IV-TR. TORI PAYNE skips up to him.)", "TORI PAYNE: Hey.", "SWEETS: Hey.", "TORI PAYNE: What's with the formal wear?", "SWEETS: Ah...", "TORI PAYNE: Little light reading, you got there. What are you? Like, a first year psychology student or something.", "SWEETS: Sort of. Not first year, though. I'm Lance. (He proffers a hand to shake)", "TORI PAYNE: Lance. Very phallic name you got there. My name's Payne and if your name's as accurate as mine then we should get better acquainted.", "SWEETS: Oh. Well, that's uh - I have a girlfriend, I'm sorry.", "TORI PAYNE: So? I have a boyfriend but he's not coming to this movie. Is your girlfriend?", "SWEETS: No.", "TORI PAYNE: We're just talkin', right?", "SWEETS: Yeah. Albeit, somewhat suggestively.", "TORI PAYNE: So, I'll change the subject. Do you, uh - do you like my tattoos? (She lifts her top)", "SWEETS: Very much. I've always enjoyed calligraphy.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM", "(Hodgins and Fisher are examining the head wound.)", "HODGINS: What is that? 10 cm in length?", "FISHER: 12.", "HODGINS: Great. One of us needs to relieve Sweets.", "FISHER: I gotta write a report up on this. There's a lip here. I'm thinking a smooth, rounded edge.", "HODGINS: (Looks at his watch) Okay, Sweets said he had an appointment he can't miss so...", "FISHER: Follow me on this. The mailman is delivering his package to the uh - lady of the house, if you catch my drift. The husband comes home, finds the nearest blunt instrument which is a cast-iron frying pan, huh? And... wham! The postman who rang twice never rang again.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Yeah, that totally works.", "FISHER: Mhmm.", "HODGINS: If the husband is a peacock wrangler who fights crickets after work in a creeping red fescue field.", "FISHER: Peacock?", "HODGINS: Yeah, what I thought was silk turns out to be thread from the after-feather of a peacock.", "FISHER: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me.", "HODGINS: Okay, look. I'm gonna go relieve Sweets. You just - if anyone asks, tell 'em I'm - I'm defligisterizing Tachymosis Franklangellacum.", "(Hodgins rushes out)", "FISHER: What, is that a real thing? Or are you just trying to be funny? 'Cause that didn't sound real. At all.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE", "(Cam and Angela are watching her monitor)", "ANGELA: This is Steve Rifton's winning tape.", "CAM: How many times have you watched this?", "ANGELA: Ugh, I'm not watching it, I'm analyzing it.", "CAM: And?", "ANGELA: Uninterrupted control track which means no tampering.", "CAM: The only thing you see on this tape is the game playing. No hands, no audio, just the screen.", "ANGELA: Mhmm. 3 hours. This perfect game's been downloaded and watched hundreds of thousands of times by expert gaming eyes. Not one anal-retentive, detail-oriented, paranoid geek is calling foul, so...", "CAM: Can I see the last part?", "ANGELA: The, uh, last stage of the game is called 'The Kill Screen'. Three hours of his life to get to this point - flipping the monkey.", "CAM: Wait, can you play that again?", "ANGELA: (She rewinds the video) What do you see?", "CAM: The injuries the monkey suffers are the same as the victim's.", "ANGELA: Oh my god.", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE", "(It is raining. Tori Payne is now sitting on Sweets' lap, sharing an umbrella.)", "TORI PAYNE: Okay, sometimes, I taste salt in my mouth when there isn't any.", "SWEETS: Okay?", "TORI PAYNE: What mental illness do I have?", "SWEETS: Uh... do you taste salt now?", "TORI PAYNE: You tell me. (She leans in)", "SWEETS: Hodgins! (He gets up hastely)", "HODGINS: Uh... yeah. Yeah. Who's your friend?", "SWEETS: Uh... this is Tori Payne. This is Jack Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Hi. Um... (He taps his watch) Sweets.", "SWEETS: Right, I'm sorry, I should have called you. Um, there's a sudden opening in my schedule.", "HODGINS: Mhm. Mhm. So, does this have anything to do with Fisher's double digits?", "SWEETS: No, no, no, no, no, of course not. No. That is not this situation.", "HODGINS: Sweets.", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "HODGINS: If you need anything, just call me.", "SWEETS: No, I'm good. I'm good. We're good.", "HODGINS: Bye.", "(Hodgins leaves)", "SWEETS: Bye. (Tori Payne pushes him down onto the seat and settles on his lap) Oh.", "TORI PAYNE: Salt?", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM", "(The Punky Pong machine is on the platform as well. Brennan, Cam, and Fisher are present.)", "BRENNAN: (She swipes and enters the platform) Did the blood come from our victim?", "CAM: No. Like the guy said, it seems to have come from a number of people and it's been totally degraded by a liquid.", "BRENNAN: Oh. What liquid?", "CAM: Mostly cola.", "FISHER: Here's a mikrosil cast of the wound, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Well, I don't see any protuberances on the machine that correspond to the shape of the wound.", "CAM: Also, no sign of crickets, grass seed, or peacock feathers.", "FISHER: The particulates Dr. Hodgins found.", "BRENNAN: Well, those particulates were only found in the head wound, correct?", "CAM: Yes.", "BRENNAN: Is there anything on this machine that could explain the groin wound?", "FISHER: There's an access panel at groin level. (He opens the access panel) I don't see anything.", "CAM: Shall I get an ALS?", "BRENNAN: I don't see how something could pop out of there, stab our victim and then withdraw it -", "(Something injures Fisher's hand)", "CAM: Oh!", "FISHER: Ow!", "CAM: Are you all right?", "FISHER: Uh, yeah, that was dumb. (He peels pack his gloves) Yeah, I just jammed my hand against the bottom of the control stick.", "BRENNAN: (She examines Fisher's hand) The dimensions and the shape are very similar to the marks on the victim's pelvis.", "CAM: The joystick isn't long enough to pass through the abdominal wall and the intestines.", "BRENNAN: Oh, Billy Gabel has a whole supply of this piping at his workshop. Uncut.", "ACT FIVE", "INT. GABEL VINTAGE GAME REPAIR SHOP", "(Booth, Brennan, and an FBI team enter.)", "BOOTH: Hey. Pong boy.", "BILLY GABEL: Now what?", "BOOTH: Get your hands off everything. We've got a search warrant.", "(Deirdre Ryan comes out from behind a machine)", "DEIRDRE RYAN: Are you guys following me?", "BOOTH: Oh, some babe, Billy?", "BRENNAN: You knew her all along.", "DEIRDRE RYAN: I'm not allowed to fix my game? Billy's the only one with first generation Qbert parts.", "BOOTH: Yeah, really, because it seems to me that you two had reason to get rid of Steve.", "DEIRDRE RYAN: Look, man. I didn't have to kill him. I got a nice rack, a cute ass, and can wipe out any one at Punky Pong.", "BOOTH: Right, except for Steve, which is why you two teamed up.", "BILLY GABEL: She's just here for parts.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: (She holds up some pipes) These are the types of piping congruent with the wounds on Fisher's hand and the victim's groin.", "BOOTH: Oh, pipe. Okay, bag that. Bag the pipe.", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE", "(Sweets and Tori Payne are inside the tent, drinking boxed wine.)", "TORI PAYNE: An actual shrink. That is so, just hot. (She takes off her glasses)", "SWEETS: Yeah, but you know, my profession doesn't really preclude me from my fascination with sci-fi and fantasy. (Tori starts to unbutton his shirt) Oh really?", "TORI PAYNE: Does this tent zipper have a lock on it?", "SWEETS: Hm? No! No, no, no, no. There's no kind of privacy here and god! You really have fleet fingers. I've got a girlfriend.", "TORI PAYNE: Yeah. So you say.", "(They kiss)", "SWEETS: That shouldn't have happened. Why did that happen?", "TORI PAYNE: I know. It's like that one scene in Mimic where you're in a hot kiss one minute and then the next minute you're getting your brain sucked out by a mutant.", "SWEETS: (They kiss again but this time, he pulls back) Mm, um... I'm sorry. I've gotta make a call. (He dials his cellphone)", "TORI PAYNE: Would it help you get over this whole girlfriend thing if maybe you saw my tattoos again?", "SWEETS: I - (Into phone) Where are you guys? I need back-up.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM", "HODGINS: You told me to get lost so now, I gotta test the tensile strength of the -", "INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION", "SWEETS: (Tori lifts up her shirt again) Just please, I need to be released - relieved. Please.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Sorry doctor, oh! And uh, save me a meat tart. Bye now.", "(Hodgins hangs up)", "SWEETS: Uh, that was an emergency... (Tori pulls him towards her) ...family emergency.", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM", "(Fisher and Brennan are examining the victim)", "FISHER: This could be an anomaly of the scaphoid", "BRENNAN: Oh. Magnify that, please.", "FISHER: Looks like resorption. What could have caused that?", "BRENNAN: A cyst. The victim had De Quervain's tenosynovitis. A painful condition caused by extreme stress on the wrist.", "FISHER: Which means...", "BRENNAN: Billy Gabel was correct. Steve Rifton must have cheated. On the date the videotape was made, he would not be capable of playing the game.", "(Brennan rushes out)", "FISHER: Okay.", "(Fisher looks down the hallway after Brennan and then leaves, too)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM", "(Cam is observing as Hodgins tests the tensile strength of several pipes.)", "HODGINS: Brennan found five types of piping of the same dimensions. Aluminum, brass, steel, stainless steel and copper. I'm testing to see if any of them shatter under pressure.", "CAM: So far, they just bend.", "HODGINS: Tensile strength is 760 MPa. So far, I've tried torsion, impact, and got nothing more than bending and denting.", "(Angela enters)", "CAM: So, the pelvic injuries couldn't have been caused by the piping we found in Billy's workshop.", "HODGINS: Yeah, no.", "ANGELA: (She's shocked to see the tattoo of her face on Hodgins' shoulder) I'm - I'm... tattooed. On your arm.", "HODGINS: We're looking for a more brittle substance. Ange. It's not what you think.", "ANGELA: What I think is that there's a very large tattoo of me that's indelibly affixed to your skin.", "CAM: I'm gonna flee right now.", "(Cam leaves)", "HODGINS: I didn't do it.", "ANGELA: Wait a minute. My dad? (Hodgins chuckles and nods) My father did that to you?", "HODGINS: Let's just say he was trying to prove a point.", "ANGELA: I am so gonna kick his Texan bad-ass. You - you need to get that removed.", "HODGINS: Why?", "ANGELA: Because we are not together anymore and I don't want you sweating all over my face. And I - you need to get that lasered.", "(Angela leaves. Hodgins looks at the tattoo with a smile.)", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE", "(Sweets and Tori Payne are still in the tent but Sweets is trying to leave.)", "TORI PAYNE: Why are you avoiding me? Doctor, it's just s*x.", "SWEETS: I know. I know. It's just the combination of meat tarts and boxed wine has got me a little queasy so...", "(Sweets backs out of the tent and bumps into Fisher)", "FISHER: Oh. Sorry. (Tori pokes her head out of the tent and spots Fisher) You okay?", "SWEETS: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Everything is fine. This is Fisher.", "TORI PAYNE: Are you a shrink, too?", "FISHER: Nope. Forensic anthropologist.", "(Tori shakes her head, not understanding)", "SWEETS: He works with the dead.", "TORI PAYNE: The dead? Really?", "FISHER: What can I say? I can relate to the boundary between this existence and whatever screaming cold hell comes next.", "TORI PAYNE: Do you wanna see my tattoos? (She lifts up her shirt)", "FISHER: Wow. I love that poem.", "(Tori and Fisher smile at each other and make their way into the tent. Sweets looks on disbelievingly.)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE", "(Brennan and Angela are back to watching the game being played out on Angela's monitor. The Punky Pong machine is also in her office.)", "ANGELA: I analyzed the game's chip. Since the programming is from the 80s, it's pretty basic but still...", "BRENNAN: One would certainly need to be in command of the rapid-cycling beta level as well as being exceptionally dextrous.", "ANGELA: Right. Which according to you, Steve Rifton was not.", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "ANGELA: The computer has played a perfect game. So, this is the second time that this machine was played to the perfect game. The first time was Steve Rifton's perfect game. (She pulls up a picture of Steve Rifton next to the machine)", "BRENNAN: Well, if Steve Rifton played a perfect game, he had to have done it before he developed tenosynovitis.", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, that makes sense.", "BRENNAN: Can you pull up the videotape showing this perfect game? (Angela pulls it up on the opposite screen) Could you freeze it please?", "ANGELA: Yeah, what do you - what do you see?", "BRENNAN: These are not the same machine. (She points to the two pictures)", "ANGELA: Uh, sweetie, these look identical.", "BRENNAN: No, see, here? (She points to the machine that Steve Rifton is standing beside) This banana has exposed central and lateral incisors as well as a white section of peeled epicarp.", "ANGELA: Right. The teeth and the peel. Who would notice that?", "BRENNAN: Me. I'm extraordinarily observant.", "ANGELA: Uh, so, this is the same machine that was in the photo.", "BRENNAN: But not the same one as in the videotape. See? No incisors and yellow epicarp section.", "ANGELA: Steve Rifton cheated. He didn't play the winning game on this machine. What other machine do you think he had access to?", "BRENNAN: Dougie Seeger's. The autistic boy.", "ACT SIX", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM", "(Both Punky Pong machines are on the platform. Cam, Booth, and Brennan are examining them.)", "BOOTH: This here is Dougie Seeger's machine and this is the one that the Ref bought from our murder victim.", "BRENNAN: We have photographic evidence that our victim actually played a perfect game on his own machine.", "BOOTH: Maybe that photo there is doctored.", "CAM: Angela says no.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: Who wants to know about peacock poop? Okay, all right, not the greatest opening but (he pulls up his files on the computer monitor) I was looking at this thing all wrong. I kept asking myself how do peacock feathers, graminoid seeds, and insect legs get onto the same blunt weapon.", "BRENNAN: That is exactly the question we need answered.", "HODGINS: Sometimes peacock feathers are in peacock poop because they preen themselves. The Indian Blue Peacock, to be precise.", "CAM: The murder weapon was dipped in Indian Blue Peacock excrement?", "HODGINS: Pavo cristatus.", "BRENNAN: Why would the murderer dip his weapon into peacock excrement?", "HODGINS: What if he didn't do it on purpose? Check this out. (He pulls up a map onto the screen) The only two places with Indian Blue Peacock are the United States Botanic Gardens and the Annapolis Valley Golf Course.", "BRENNAN: The murder weapon could have been a golf club.", "HODGINS: That would also explain the crickets and the fescue.", "CAM: Let's see which one of our suspects golfs at Annapolis Valley.", "HODGINS: Who deserves a little love here? Huh? Little love? (Brennan and Booth ignore him and leave) Just a - okay, if that's all, I really gotta go. Um... King of the Lab.", "(Hodgins leaves. Cam is left confused.)", "EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT", "(Sweets is standing further back in the line. Hodgins approaches.)", "HODGINS: Why are you standing over here? What? (He spots the moving tent ahead of them) Oh. Fisher?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "HODGINS: So, he pitched his tent when you didn't.", "SWEETS: By 'pitch his tent', you mean... yeah, that's what he did. Fisher said that in the short amount of time that I've been with Daisy, he pitched his tent with seven women.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but come on. Fisher, he only ever pitches his tent once with each woman. You, you're the kind of guy, you don't just pitch a tent, you homestead the land.", "SWEETS: Oh. So, he's the rock star and I'm the farmer. That's great.", "HODGINS: Okay, Sweets. Let's do the math here, okay? Fisher's seven women versus your one Daisy. Seven one-night stands, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he's had s*x, what? 21 times, okay? Now, rough estimate, how many times have you and Daisy pitched a tent?", "SWEETS: Daisy and I are together approximately five nights a week, so that's 10 times a week over seven months... you add in the mornings -", "HODGINS: Woah. Silent math. You got a number?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "HODGINS: Don't tell me. Is it more than 21?", "SWEETS: It's way more than 21.", "HODGINS: Quality of the experience. It's much more important than the quantity.", "(O.S.): Everybody get your tickets out! Single file! No pushing. Everybody's gettin' in.", "(The line starts to move)", "HODGINS: We are going in. Yes.", "SWEETS: Should we - uh, tell Fisher we're going in?", "HODGINS: Nah. Screw him.", "SWEETS: But, he's gonna miss the movie.", "HODGINS: Yeah, well, serves him right.", "SWEETS: Uh, if you were in my shoes, you would have gone for her, wouldn't you?", "HODGINS: Heck yeah, are you kidding me? Did you see those tattoos, oh! Epic.", "INT. SEEGER HOME", "(Booth, Brennan, and Keith Seeger are walking from his house to the garage. Keith Seeger is holding the warrant in his hand.)", "KEITH SEEGER: Why do you wanna see my golf clubs?", "BOOTH: Well, I mean, you're a member of Annapolis Valley, right?", "KEITH SEEGER: Yes, for three years. My golf clubs are in here somewhere. I don't get out there as much as I'd like. (Dougie Seeger is standing quietly in the corner of the garage) Dougie just stands there all day, waiting for his machine. I'd like to get it back as soon as possible.", "BOOTH: You're very cooperative.", "BRENNAN: (She spots the golf clubs) Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Graphite shafts. These would snap. We're looking for a broken shaft that would explain the stabbing wound.", "BOOTH: Any of them damaged?", "BRENNAN: No. None of these is the murder weapon.", "KEITH SEEGER: Wh - you think I killed the postman? Well, why would I do that?", "BRENNAN: Perhaps it's a coincidence that Mr. Seeger is a member of that golf club. Perhaps we should check out the possibilities of the botanic garden?", "BOOTH: Where's your three iron?", "KEITH SEEGER: Never needed one.", "BRENNAN: What? Three iron?", "BOOTH: Guy like you, a course like that. You would definitely need a three iron to hit that course, so, where is it?", "(Keith Seeger looks sadly back and forth to his son. He is caught.)", "INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - INTERROGATION ROOM", "(Flashes back and forth between Keith Seeger's confession and Dougie Seeger getting his Punky Pong machine back and playing happily.)", "KEITH SEEGER: My son only ever had one thing. One thing in his whole life. Dougie can't even speak, you understand? He looks at me or my wife and there's no glimmer of recognition. But that machine. It turns on, makes that noise... and he gets this look on his face. Maybe you wouldn't notice it in a regular kid but I know what it is. It's joy. And this guy, this mailman, he watches Dougie play a perfect game and then next thing you know, he's on TV saying he played the perfect game. It's a miracle. It's too much of a coincidence for me.", "BOOTH: You accosted him with your own golf club, right? You scared him into telling the truth.", "KEITH SEEGER: He admitted it. He said he videotaped Dougie. But he refused to credit Dougie. I lost it.", "BRENNAN: You beat him. With your golf club and when the head broke off, you stabbed him with it.", "KEITH SEEGER: The only thing my boy has in this world - one thing - this man stole it from him. It wasn't right. (He cries)", "INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM", "(It's nighttime. Everybody has left. The Punky Pong machine is still there and Booth and Brennan go to play a game. Or two.)", "BOOTH: It's not as crazy as you'd think. I'm a father so I sort of understand.", "BRENNAN: I can't imagine you killing someone for stealing credit from Parker for anything.", "BOOTH: Well, not kill someone but threaten 'em.", "BRENNAN: Even about something as frivolous as bragging rights to a videogame? All right, how do we choose who goes first?", "BOOTH: Right, okay, go ahead, you go first.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because once I start, I ain't gonna stop. (Brennan laughs. Booth sits down on a chair, continuing his thought) Besides, it's not how the dad feels, it's how the son feels.", "BRENNAN: We're discussing the murder again?", "BOOTH: Someone breaks your kid's heart, your own heart rises up, get's fierce. It's just a natural response.", "BRENNAN: There's a flaw in your reasoning. I believe that due to my superior learning curve, I can beat you at this game - despite your superlative strength and your remarkable reflexes. (She hits the buttons on the machine a few times) How do I start the game?", "BOOTH: What's the flaw in my reasoning?", "BRENNAN: Dougie Seeger is autistic. He didn't care. His heart wasn't broken.", "BOOTH: So, the dad loved him twice as much. All right, you don't like the reasoning and my math.", "BRENNAN: I've realized recently that you use a different number system, like the Babylonians which was base 60. I don't understand your system but I can see that it works. (A silence. And then, she starts hitting the buttons on the machine again) How do I start the game?", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: Yes? (Booth tosses her a quarter) Oh!", "BOOTH: There you go.", "BRENNAN: A quarter!", "BOOTH: Knock 'em dead.", "BRENNAN: I will. I will knock you dead. I will prove you wrong.", "BOOTH: Big words!", "BRENNAN: Level one, baby. (The screen goes back to the start) What happened?", "BOOTH: My turn.", "BRENNAN: No, it's not your turn. What do you mean? It just stopped, so...", "BOOTH: That's right. No, sit right there.", "BRENNAN: No, I didn't lose.", "BOOTH: Well, you put the quarter in, the game's over", "BRENNAN: No, it's not -", "BOOTH: Maybe it's your energy -", "BRENNAN: It's the machine broke -", "BOOTH: Maybe it's your math -", "BRENNAN: It's not my math -", "BOOTH: My turn...", "END." ]

[ "A man dressed as Santa Claus wearing an explosive vest is blown up via a radio frequency after robbing a bank, leaving Booth and Brennan to investigate the identity of the bomber and who set off the explosives. Brennan plans on spending Christmas in El Salvador, but her father ( Ryan O'Neal ) convinces her to stay and spend it with him and her second cousin on her mother's side, Margaret ( Zooey Deschanel ). After solving the case, the Jeffersonian team attend the funeral of the man that was killed after they discover he was forced into the robbery, comforting the mother who was his only family. The team later celebrate a Christmas dinner at Brennan's." ]

[ "TEASER", "[EXT: CITY. Music plays over images of Christmas scenes - a sleigh-and-reindeer display, a man taking donations for the Salvation Army, a snowman decoration, a lifesize toy soldier, a department store with a massive wreath on the front, a large Christmas tree on display.]", "[MUSIC: \"Here Comes Santa Claus\".]", "[INT: BANK. People are in line for tellers. At the head of the line is a man dressed as Santa Claus (played by Matt McTighe).]", "TELLER [cheerfully]: Hey Santa. How're you doing? Deposit or withdrawal?", "[SANTA hands a note to the TELLER (played by J. J. Boone). It says something like GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY.]", "TELLER: Is this some sort of joke?", "[SANTA pulls his shirt open, revealing a bomb strapped to him.]", "SANTA: Give me all of your money. Now.", "[TELLER quickly hands money to SANTA, who puts it into his red sack. SANTA looks around.]", "SANTA [indicating other tellers]: The other ones too. Hurry up.", "[As the TELLERS do as he says, people behind SANTA in the line get suspicious and impatient.]", "MAN: Something's going on over there.", "OTHER MAN: What do you mean?", "MAN: Security!", "SANTA [turning to face other customers]: I HAVE A BOMB!", "[People begin to shriek.]", "SANTA: Everyone get down! [to TELLER] Put the money in the bag. Quick.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: BRENNAN'S APARTMENT. MAX is dragging over a Christmas tree and Brennan is watching him.]", "MAX: It's a beauty, isn't it? I got the, uh... I got the employee's discount; good tips too. Shall I get some tinsel?", "BRENNAN [disinterested]: Well, you can do whatever you want. It's your Christmas tree.", "MAX: Well, it's ours, honey, as in you and me.", "BRENNAN: Dad, I'm-I'm going to do volunteer work in El Salvador.", "MAX: Well... that means I'm gonna be alone for Christmas.", "BRENNAN: Well, wha-what about Russ and the girls?", "MAX [sitting down]: Your brother is going to Orlando to spend the holidays with his in-laws, and I will be alone, and it'll be pitiful.", "BRENNAN: Well, if I stay, then there'll be two of us alone, which is twice as pitiful.", "MAX [sarcastically]: Well, that's interesting math. [pause] What if I can get someone else to share Christmas with us? Now, that would make it a real Christmas, right?", "BRENNAN: Dad, some reformed criminal pal of yours won't make a real Christmas.", "MAX: I'm talking family, a blood relative; an aunt or one of your cousins from Minnesota.", "BRENNAN: You have contact with these people?", "MAX: We're Myspace buddies. Come on, honey, please?", "BRENNAN: Well, why do people hate to spend Christmas alone?", "MAX: 'Cause it means nobody loves them.", "[CUT.]", "[EXT: STREET. BOOTH is rubbing his hands together for warmth as he walks to his car.]", "DISPATCH [from radio inside car]: Code 39, Code 39, bank robbery in progress. Capital Mutual Bank, corner of 12th and U Street. Suspect dressed as Santa. Urgent help needed.", "BOOTH [now inside car, to radio]: Yes, Agent Booth, 22705. I'm two blocks from Capital Mutual Bank. ETA within a minute.", "[INT: BANK. SANTA has money in a bag and is leaving the bank.]", "SANTA: All of you... stay down, you hear me? Stay down... and everybody goes home for Christmas.", "[EXT: STREET OUTSIDE BANK. BOOTH exits car and aims gun at Santa.]", "BOOTH: Everybody back. You! Santa! Move into the road. Now!", "SANTA [moving to street]: Don't do this. Just walk away.", "BOOTH: On your knees. On your knees! FBI, man. Do it now!", "SANTA: I just answered the call.", "[There are some crackles from the bomb, the word \"BURN!\" and then an enormous EXPLOSION. A giant ball of fire erupts from SANTA. Debris in all directions. A man gets thrown back onto a taxi from the force. A woman ducks behind the taxi. BOOTH lands in front of his car. A chunk of flaming SANTA drops by the taxi. After the explosion, money floats everywhere and the bank's windows break. Booth looks around in shock.]", "[CUT.]", "[EXT: STREET OUTSIDE BANK. We return to the scene a short time later. Emergency workers everywhere. There is a siren in the background and the Bomb Squad is combing the area.", "[PARAMEDICS load the CABDRIVER into the back of an ambulance.]", "PARAMEDIC: Cabdriver is stabilized.", "[FBI people take photos; the Bomb Squad continues searching for evidence. CAM and BRENNAN stand next to BOOTH by his SUV. CAM is performing medical checks on BOOTH.]", "BOOTH [impatient]: Can we just hurry this up? 'Cause I have a witness over there.", "BRENNAN: Well, are you sure you didn't throw out your back?", "BOOTH: No, I didn't; I'm fine.", "CAM [shining penlight in Booth's eyes]: Okay, do you have a medical degree? I don't think so. Okay, your pupillary response is fine.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, there you go. I'm gonna go talk to my witness now. Thank you.", "[A PARAMEDIC is sitting next to the WITNESS. The witness is the woman who got thrown behind the cab during the explosion. She is covered in splatter and her hands are torn and burned. She looks shocked.]", "BOOTH [to paramedic sitting with witness]: Got 'im.", "[The PARAMEDIC leaves and BOOTH sits next to the WITNESS. BRENNAN also arrives and squats in front of the WITNESS to examine the evidence - human remains - coating the WITNESS. This is \"The Goop on the Girl\". The WITNESS is GEORGIA HARTMEYER (played by Melinda Page Hamilton) and hereafter referred to as GEORGIA.]", "BOOTH: Hi. I'm, uh, Special Agent Seeley Booth. Are you okay, Miss, uh...?", "GEORGIA: Hartmeyer. Georgia Hartmeyer, and no, I'm not okay. [tearfully] I'm covered in...", "BRENNAN: Human remains. The bomber's bones became shrapnel.", "GEORGIA: Oh, my God, I got to get out of here.", "BOOTH: Listen, we just want to ask you a couple questions.", "CAM [arriving behind Georgia]: We have to bag her and take her to the lab.", "BOOTH [to CAM]: Right now?", "CAM: Yeah.", "BOOTH: I know this is really hard and you're freaked out, but what you have on there is evidence.", "CAM [comfortingly]: It's no big deal. I'm just gonna put this cap over your hair and bag your hands.", "BOOTH: And I'm gonna meet you back at the lab, and I'm gonna ask you a couple questions, and then I'm gonna take you home. Okay?", "GEORGIA [as Cam is putting a cap over Georgia's head]: All right, I guess, if I have to.", "[BOOTH leaves and crosses to where HODGINS is squatting on the ground, studying bomb fragments.]", "BOOTH [standing next to HODGINS]: Hey, oh, what do you got?", "HODGINS [excitedly]: Recovering bomb fragments... hey, check this out. Explosives unit guys loaned me these magnetized gloves. [Holds up gloves with metal sticking to them and laughs delightedly] Oh, these are so going on my Christmas list.", "BOOTH [pointing]: That stuff there, is that from the bomb, or is that from Santa?", "HODGINS: Bomb. Oily pudding residue indicates a homemade emulsion bomb.", "[BOOTH sighs and rubs his neck.]", "HODGINS: Man, you sure you're okay?", "BOOTH: Fine. 'Kay?", "BRENNAN [arriving behind him]: He says he's fine, but that may just be a function of shock.", "BOOTH [leaving]: I'm fine. You know what, I'm gonna go home, grab a shower and get cleaned up.", "BRENNAN: No, Booth!", "BOOTH [slightly annoyed]: I am FINE... will you just stop worrying about me, Bones?", "BRENNAN [pointing to Booth's back]: Spinous process!", "BOOTH [trying to see his own back]: What? Where?", "HODGINS: Yes, indeed, that is a definite chunk of Santa.", "BRENNAN [over shoulder]: We're gonna need some bags, Cam.", "BOOTH: No. No, no.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, Booth, but you're evidence now.", "[CUT to MAIN TITLE THEME and CREDITS]", "[INT: JEFFERSONIAN. BOOTH and BRENNAN are in the BONE ROOM. BOOTH is sitting on a gurney and BRENNAN is behind him, picking remains off the back of his jacket with tweezers throughout the conversation.]", "BOOTH: Did you hear anything back on that cabdriver?", "BRENNAN: No, but Cam is in touch with the hospital. [Setting last particles into a dish] Okay. I have to remove your clothing now.", "[BRENNAN reaches to the front of BOOTH's jacket and begins to remove it.]", "BOOTH [surprised]: What? Why?", "BRENNAN: Well, there may be particulates.", "BOOTH [echoing]: Particulates.", "BRENNAN: Evidence for Hodgins, and flesh for Cam.", "[BRENNAN sets jacket aside and walks to stand in front of BOOTH.]", "BOOTH [thoughtful]: You know, the bomber said something about answering \"the call.\" What do you think that means?", "BRENNAN [loosening his tie. BOOTH sits up straighter and looks uncomfortable]: Many terrorists feel they're acting upon divine instruction.", "BOOTH: I don't think he was a terrorist; I just think he was a bank robber. Brennan [lifting BOOTH's tie over his head]: There's spatter on the back of your collar.", "BOOTH: Spatter?", "BRENNAN [unbuttoning his shirt]: Okay.", "BOOTH: I can take my own shirt off...", "[He lifts his hands to help and BRENNAN swats them away.]", "BRENNAN: No, don't. You'll compromise the evidence.", "BOOTH [looking closely at her]: ...Right.", "BRENNAN [uncertainly, continuing to unbutton Booth's shirt]: I'm... having Christmas dinner at my place this year with my dad. Considering you've been shunted aside by your own family, I'd... like to invite you.", "BOOTH: That's a sweet invitation. BRENNAN [sliding shirt off his shoulders and moving behind him]: So, will you come?", "BOOTH [slowly]: I... don't know. I was thinking about going up to Quebec to see Parker. I really don't care what Rebecca thinks.", "BRENNAN: Well, if you do that, won't she retaliate by insisting upon coming to all your special times with Parker?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN [admiringly]: You have a perfect acromion. [Booth looks pleased] Stand up.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "BRENNAN: Off the table.", "[BRENNAN kneels in front of BOOTH and reaches for his belt.]", "BOOTH: Whoa. What... what, is there stuff on my pants?", "BRENNAN: Yeah. Vascular tissue on your Cocky belt buckle.", "[Brennan loosens his belt and removes it.]", "BOOTH: Oh, right. Slides right off, and, uh, we're done.", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: Huh?", "BRENNAN: I have to remove your pants.", "BOOTH [as Brennan unbuttons his pants]: All right, you know, I'm just gonna start reciting some saints, you know. [Quietly to himself as Brennan lowers his pants] St. Joseph, St. Peter, St. Paul, St. John...", "[BRENNAN slides his pants down BOOTH's legs. He is wearing blue and white plaid boxers.]", "[Suddenly the door opens and BRENNAN inhales quickly. CAM is standing in the doorway.]", "CAM [humorously]: Anyone for mistletoe?", "BRENNAN: I-I'm recovering evidence.", "BOOTH: Just evidence, that's all.", "CAM [smiling, unconvinced]: Interesting.", "BOOTH [stepping out of pants]: Listen, uh, Bones, I really got to go question the other eyewitness, so are we done here?", "BRENNAN: No, you can sit.", "CAM [pointing]: There's something in your hair.", "BOOTH [reaching to touch it]: Where?", "BRENNAN: Oh. [removing his hands] Don't touch.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN [reaching for forensic scissors]: Organic residue... I'll cut it out.", "BOOTH [alarmed]: What do you mean, cut it out? No! No scissors. Not the hair.", "[He pushes her hands - and the scissors - away.]", "CAM: Tox results show that our bomber had propranolol in his bloodstream. It's a beta-blocker popular with performers, soldiers... and suicide bombers.", "BOOTH [as Brennan fiddles with his hair]: Yeah, snipers use that to calm their nerves.", "CAM: Also, Hodgins swabbed this.", "[She holds out a dish containing a charred, unidentifiable body part.]", "CAM: Found high concentrations of limonene. It's a citrus fruit derivative.", "BOOTH: Oh. What is that, a nostril?", "CAM: Yup. And I have no idea how the limonene got there. Unless the guy was snorting orange Kool-Aid.", "BOOTH: Right. Listen, Bones, I really got to get going to question this other eyewitness. Will you just... Ow!", "[CAM rolls her eyes and exits. Cut to lab hallways where ANGELA is conferring with someone. BRENNAN is wheeling BOOTH on a table usually used for human remains. He is wearing only boxers and socks and looking uncomfortable.]", "ANGELA [looking over amusedly]: Uh, are we doing experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd like to help.", "BOOTH [sarcastically]: Make fun of the naked guy... knock yourself out.", "[Cut to lab platform. DAISY is examining GEORGIA, who is sitting on a gurney. GEORGIA is wearing a cream-colored hospital-type gown and looking shell-shocked. There are paper bags over her hands and goop still in her hair.]", "DAISY [examining Georgia's hair]: I think we got everything. [pause] Oh. Nope. [excitedly] Mandible fragment!", "GEORGIA [disturbed]: Just get it all out!", "[Brennan pushes Booth's table opposite Georgia.]", "BOOTH: Okay, there you go...", "[Daisy looks at Booth and is impressed by his physique.]", "DAISY: Oh, Agent Booth, you look... Wow.", "BOOTH: How are you?", "DAISY: Finished with the hair; moving on to the hands. And thank you for asking, especially given the difficult morning you've had.", "[BRENNAN stands behind BOOTH with tweezers to remove particles from his hair.]", "BRENNAN: He was speaking to Ms. Hartmeyer.", "DAISY [slightly embarrassed]: Oh. I'm not used to having evidence that talks, so it's a little disconcerting. I'll just get back to work.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "[DAISY goes back to recovering evidence from GEORGIA as BOOTH conducts a makeshift interview.]", "GEORGIA: How much longer do I have to stay here?", "BOOTH: Just a couple more questions. Do you remember how long you were standing outside the bank?", "GEORGIA: I-I'm not sure... I was waiting for the bus.", "BOOTH: Do you remember seeing Santa go into the bank? [Brennan tugs on his hair] Ow!", "BRENNAN: Sorry. It's being stubborn.", "GEORGIA: All I know is, I was minding my own business, and this guy just blew up in front of me.", "DAISY [examining Georgia's hand]: Dr. Brennan, look at these white fragments in the nail bed.", "BRENNAN [studying hand]: Most likely dental pulp.", "DAISY [to Georgia, cheerfully]: Santa teeth!", "GEORGIA: Oh, geez.", "BRENNAN: Harvest the nail.", "DAISY: Just a quick clip.", "[HODGINS arrives on platform carrying a clipboard.]", "HODGINS: Hey, Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "HODGINS: Think I got something here.", "BOOTH [sarcastically]: Oh, great, join the party.", "HODGINS [staring at Booth]: Dude. Where's your chest hair?", "BOOTH: I'm highly evolved.", "BRENNAN: His pubic extension is entirely within normal-", "BOOTH: Enough. Okay, so what do you got?", "HODGINS [handing over clipboard]: I'm cataloguing bomb components so we can run it through EXIS, the Explosive Incidents System. Bomb makers' signatures are as unique as handwriting. [He removes a packet from his pocket.] We found this computer chip that sets frequency on a two-way radio, which means this bomb was command-initiated, triggered via electronic signal from the two-way.", "BOOTH: Right, that would explain the crackle I heard right before the bomb went off, and there was this voice...", "HODGINS: You know, if Santa had a partner, he was probably monitoring that frequency.", "BOOTH: He hears me say \"FBI\", he panics, and he blows up good old St. Nick, but there's no way to trace it back to him.", "[BRENNAN finishes with BOOTH's hair and supplies him with a blue lab coat. BOOTH shrugs into coat as he stands.]", "HODGINS: Well, except for that computer chip. The radio was set to 27.4 megahertz.", "BOOTH: You guys have a scanner around here?", "[CUT.]", "[INT: Angela's office. BOOTH and ANGELA are standing around a radio which is making crackly noises as BOOTH fiddles with it.]", "ANGELA: So, this is the first time I have ever borrowed anything from the Eisenhower Collection.", "BOOTH: I'm just gonna tune in here to 27.4.", "[We hear some crackles and then an angry voice broadcasting. This is OWEN THIEL", "(played by Dorian Missick) and hereafter referred to as OWEN.]", "OWEN: ...their pockets. No more! Bring down the tools of capitalist greed. Burn them, like they burned us...", "BOOTH: \"Burn.\" That's him. I heard him say that.", "BRENNAN [arriving in doorway and holding up Booth's COCKY belt buckle.]: Hey. We expedited tissue removal.", "BOOTH: Great, thanks.", "BOOTH [into phone]: Hey, listen, this is Booth. I need an FCC mobile scanner unit now. Great. Thanks.", "BRENNAN: You want to search for the source of this transmission?", "BOOTH: It could be the guy who set off the bomb.", "[BOOTH leaves office and BRENNAN follows him. He gets to the doorway and realizes he is wearing only a lab coat, boxers and socks.]", "BOOTH: Okay, pants, pants, I need pants. Where are my pants?", "[CUT.]", "[BOOTH, BRENNAN and an FBI AGENT are in the MOBILE UNIT and driving through the city. They are listening to OWEN's broadcast.]", "OWEN [on radio]: We're not one voice, we're thousands of voices. Democracy has been corrupted by the greed of big business. Burn it to the ground...", "[Radio continues in background as BOOTH and BRENNAN talk.]", "BRENNAN: If he's referring to lobbyists, then he's actually correct.", "BOOTH: You agree with this clown? And what about blowing up your partner, okay? Because it sounds like this creep was, uh, planning on detonating Santa right from the start.", "BRENNAN: Well, that would explain the propranolol.", "BOOTH: Who blows up Christmas? Who does that, Bones?", "OWEN [on radio]: Hear my call. Get off your ass and do something. Get up off your ass and...", "BRENNAN: Do you think that's what the victim meant about answering \"the call\"?", "BOOTH: Sure as hell sounds like that. [to driver] Take the next right, will you?", "[CUT.]", "[INT: BONE ROOM. DAISY is modeling bone fragments over a blue man-made skull model as SWEETS enters.]", "DAISY: Lancelot! Does it look like the frontal near the sinus to you?", "SWEETS: Uh, I have no idea.", "DAISY: Seems appropriately spongy.", "SWEETS: Look, I know you're busy, but I'm in a pickle, Daisy. This is our first Christmas together. And, though I've avoided the holidays ever since my parents have been gone, I feel like I shouldn't put a damper on your holiday zest.", "DAISY: Oh, I'm zestless.", "SWEETS: You are?", "DAISY: I see no point in celebrating Jesus' birth in December when he was actually born in March.", "SWEETS: No kidding.", "DAISY: It'd be like celebrating the Fourth of July in April - ridiculous.", "SWEETS: So, what do we do December 25th?", "DAISY: Would it be wrong to stay in bed all day and have s*x?", "CAM [entering]: Yes, it would. And what is with everybody today?", "SWEETS: We were just discussing holiday plans.", "CAM: Oh. Did Dr. Brennan ask you about Christmas dinner?", "DAISY: She did. I said it wouldn't be a Christmas dinner unless it occurred in March.", "CAM: Interesting. Clear off, Sweets. We have to ID our Christmas-in-December bomber.", "DAISY: Bye, Lancelot. Colon, end bracket, colon, capital D!", "SWEETS [making hand gestures to indicate]: Semicolon, end parentheses, \"less than\" sign, numeral three.", "DAISY: Colon, capital \"P.\"", "CAM: Oh, dear God. I'm going to yak.", "[SWEETS exits.]", "DAISY: This isn't skull. It's manubrium.", "CAM: Seems to be some kind of burn on the interior surface. Get that to Hodgins.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: MOBILE UNIT. BOOTH and BRENNAN are studying a computer showing a map of the area.]", "BRENNAN: Just up ahead.", "BOOTH: That's it. Right there. Pull over.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yep.", "BRENNAN: Santa's cohort is inside that house. These men use explosives. They... they want to destroy the federal government. Shouldn't we call in backup?", "OWEN [on radio]: 60 seconds of rant, people. Bring it on, bring it down.", "BOOTH: We don't have any time. Do you hear him? 60 seconds or he's going to sign off. I got to keep him distracted.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN exit the van outside a suburban house with a large aerial on top.]", "BOOTH: All right.", "BRENNAN: Booth, you're going to pull down the antenna? That's illegal.", "BOOTH: Well, not when I got him for a Title 97, malicious interference and unlicensed operation. [to driver] Hey. Phone in our location, okay?", "DRIVER: Check.", "BOOTH [handing his gun to Brennan]: Here. Cover me.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "OWEN: The banks take our money to line their pockets. No more! Burn down...", "[The antenna falls. Inside the van, the screen goes blank, indicating the loss of radio signal. Back in the yard, a tall African-American man exits the house, wearing jeans and a jacket and looking angry. This is OWEN THIEL, the broadcaster.]", "OWEN: Hey!", "[BOOTH grabs him and propels him toward the ground.]", "BOOTH: Hey, what? Hey, come on now. That's it. You have the right to remain silent.", "[BOOTH tackles OWEN to the ground and BRENNAN stands over them, covering BOOTH with his gun.]", "OWEN: You're a flunky of a corrupt regime and it is my duty to resist you.", "BRENNAN: Well, I should warn you, he... he's very hard to resist.", "BOOTH [pleased]: Thanks, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Sure.", "BOOTH: Easy!", "[CUT.]", "[INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. BOOTH and OWEN are sitting at a table. BOOTH holds up a pen.]", "OWEN: What's this?", "BOOTH: Says you waive your right to a lawyer.", "OWEN [signing]: I know my rights better than any lawyer who's a pawn in the system. I'm fully aware that's there's nothing illegal about my broadcasts. Freedom of speech.", "BOOTH: You were in the military, right? You're trained in explosives.", "OWEN: So what? Explosives and ordnances are part of Basic Training.", "BOOTH: I don't think that they meant for you to use your Basic Training experience to, uh, rob banks.", "OWEN: You know what? You got the wrong guy. All I do is broadcast my show, go to meetings, hand out pamphlets.", "BOOTH: Just before he blew up, the robber said that, uh, he answered \"the call.\"", "OWEN: My call? From the radio? Look, some nut listens to me, goes crazy, I'm not responsible. I never told anybody to break the law.", "BOOTH: Right. Because you know what? Your little pirate radio frequency set off the bomb right before the robber was about to get arrested.", "OWEN: Must have been a coincidence.", "BOOTH: Just a coincidence? You should just keep saying that to yourself over and over again, so you can actually believe it.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: DINER. MAX and BRENNAN are sitting with a woman BRENNAN's age, drinking coffee. She has brown hair and is dressed conservatively. This is BRENNAN's second cousin, MARGARET WHITESELL (played by Zooey Deschanel) and hereafter referred to as MARGARET.]", "MAX: This is fun. Isn't it fun to meet a new relative, girls?", "BRENNAN: So, you're my cousin, Margaret?", "MARGARET: My mother was your mother's cousin, according to Uncle Max.", "MAX: It's an uncanny resemblance. You're practically sisters.", "BRENNAN: Why... why aren't you home for Christmas?", "MARGARET: This time of year, I prefer to be in Philadelphia, away from my family and all those kids.", "BRENNAN: You don't have children?", "MARGARET [quotation marks indicate quotes of Benjamin Franklin]: \"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterward.\" I never got to the half-shut part. What's your excuse?", "BRENNAN: For not being married? I don't have an excuse. I just have very good reasons. MARGARET [thumbing through book of quotes]: Like what?", "BRENNAN: I think that marriage is something you need to have a reason to enter into. I never found that reason.", "MARGARET: Mmm. I totally agree. \"Experience keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other.\"", "MAX: You see, Margaret is a big fan of Benjamin Franklin.", "MARGARET: Yes. He was the smartest man who ever lived. His advice has... never failed me.", "BRENNAN: Actually, the person with the highest recorded IQ is Marilyn vos Savant.", "MARGARET: Ooh. \"Tim was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.\"", "BRENNAN [to Max]: I don't think this is going to work.", "MAX: Listen, family reunions are always awkward.", "BRENNAN [to Margaret]: Well, do you think this is going well?", "MARGARET: Not really. You seem like a bit of a know-it-all.", "BRENNAN: Nice to meet you, but I'm going to El Salvador for Christmas. You both are welcome to use my place over the holidays.", "MARGARET: \"He that won't be counseled can't be helped.\"", "[BRENNAN exits.]", "MAX: I told you to keep to Ben's scientific stuff.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: ANGELA'S OFFICE. DAISY has completed the skull she was working on before and ANGELA is waiting for it.]", "DAISY", "All righty. Here's your head. Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth are kind of in a hurry to ID him.", "[ANGELA plays MUSIC: \"Snowfall\" by Ingrid Michaelson.]", "ANGELA: No problem, Daisy. I have no intention of letting Santa ruin Christmas.", "DAISY: Were you aware of the fact that Jesus was really born in March?", "ANGELA: I don't care.", "DAISY: That Rudolph would have to be a girl, because male reindeer drop their antlers in winter.", "[ANGELA turns music up.]", "DAISY: Okay. I'll be right back.", "[DAISY exits. MUSIC continues over a montage as ANGELA works to recreate the face from the skull. She completes the face.]", "[DAISY enters.]", "ANGELA: Okay, here he is. The guy who bombed Christmas. Can you hand me my sketch pad, so I can get him to the media?", "[CUT.]", "[INT: CAM'S OFFICE. She is working at a computer and surrounded by Christmas paraphernalia. MICHELLE enters.]", "MICHELLE: Hey.", "CAM: Hey, I was just thinking of you.", "MICHELLE [looking at Christmas stuff]: Oh, my God, what did you buy?", "CAM: Gingerbread house, talking reindeer, peppermint bark... I went a little crazy. I know how much your dad loved Christmas.", "MICHELLE: You didn't get my present, did you?", "CAM: Still working on that.", "MICHELLE: Good. 'Cause I know what I want... Hawaii. The Big Island.", "CAM: That would be hard to wrap.", "MICHELLE: No, I want to go there for Christmas. Please don't say no, Cam. Please.", "CAM: That sounds fantastic, but I only have a couple days off.", "MICHELLE: Not with you. With Paris's family. Her mom and dad invited me.", "CAM [faltering]: They did?", "MICHELLE [excitedly]: I know it's totally last minute, but I found a cheap flight, and the hotel is covered, and all I have to do is pack shorts and bathing suits.", "CAM: You... really... thought this through.", "MICHELLE: If I stay, it's just the two of us, and that's depressing.", "CAM: You really want to go? It's that important to you?", "MICHELLE: It's important to me. And this way you can do what you usually do at Christmas instead of worrying about me.", "CAM: Oh, you're not a worry. You... [Michelle sighs and pouts] If that's what you want, then of course you can go.", "MICHELLE: Thank you!", "[They hug.]", "[HODGINS enters.]", "HODGINS: Hey, Michelle.", "MICHELLE: Hi, Dr. Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Mind if I steal her away?", "MICHELLE: She's all yours.", "[CAM sighs, her smile falling as MICHELLE exits.]", "[CUT.]", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[INT: JEFFERSONIAN BONE ROOM. HODGINS and CAM enter. DAISY is working with the bones. A large computer is stationed at the head of the bone table, which HODGINS refers to.]", "HODGINS: We ran the explosive residue. It's predominantly ammonium nitrate. Also fuel oil, naptha, detergent and antimony sulfide.", "CAM: Any of that unique enough to pinpoint our bomb maker?", "HODGINS: Not even close.", "CAM: Sweets says the pirate radio guy doesn't fit the profile. He's an extrovert, and we're looking for a lock-yourself-in-the-basement type of fellow.", "HODGINS: All right. So, all we know so far is that the detonation pressure was about half a million pounds per square inch.", "DAISY: Which is consistent with the skeletal damage. You can see blow out to the back, as well as curvature and divoting... all going in one direction, to the rear.", "CAM: So the explosive was confined to the front of the vest.", "HODGINS: Until we find the rest of the manubrium, it's going to be pretty tough to figure out specifics.", "CAM: The manubrium doesn't just get up and walk away. Unless... [remembering] the bomber's own bones became shrapnel.", "HODGINS: We checked the scene of the explosion, but we didn't check the cab driver, who took the biggest hit. I'll call the hospital.", "[HODGINS exits.]", "[CUT.]", "[INT: FOUNDING FATHERS. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sipping drinks.]", "BOOTH: So, I've decided to take you up on your offer.", "[MUSIC: \"Jingle Bells\" on piano somewhere in the bar.]", "BRENNAN: What offer?", "BOOTH: Uh, you inviting me to your house for Christmas dinner? ... You forgot you invited me.", "BRENNAN: No, it's just... No! My dad brought by my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.", "BOOTH: Well, that makes sense.", "BRENNAN: Why do you say that?", "BOOTH: Well, because she's family. I mean, 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.", "BRENNAN: She's unapologetically dogmatic. She lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.", "BOOTH: Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania for logic.", "BRENNAN: Mania?", "BOOTH: Okay, enthusiasm. Look, if you ditch this opportunity because a family member annoys you, it just... it just goes with the family territory.", "BRENNAN: Hmm. That's true; you and Jared can barely be in the same room together.", "BOOTH: Well, he's a whole other kettle of fish. I'll tell you that. He's just annoying.", "[BOOTH's phone rings.]", "BOOTH [into phone]: Booth. Uh, okay.", "BOOTH [to Brennan, still on phone]: Um, somebody saw Angela's sketch on the TV. Says it looks like her son. Name of Holden Chevaleer. [into phone] Great. Thanks.", "[He hangs up.]", "BOOTH: Get this. Our bomber was an exterminator.", "BRENNAN: Well, that makes sense. Exterminators use orange oil. And Hodgins said the bomb contained naptha. Exterminators use naptha to kill bed bugs.", "[CUT.]", "[Night becomes day. INT: BOOTH'S OFFICE. BOOTH is at his desk and BRENNAN stands to the side. A middle-aged WOMAN is sitting across from BOOTH. This is ABBY CHEVALEER (played by Wendy Phillips) and hereafter referred to as ABBY.]", "ABBY: That picture on the news. It's my son, isn't it?", "[She hands a photograph to BOOTH. The photo shows a man wearing a red and white plaid shirt and smiling at the camera. This is her son HOLDEN CHEVALEER, a.k.a. SANTA CLAUS.]", "BOOTH: Yes, ma'am.", "ABBY: They didn't say why they were showing it, just that they wanted information. Why?", "BOOTH: Well, we believe that your son was involved in a robbery at, uh, Capital Mutual Bank. Your son - did he ever use explosives, Mrs. Chevaleer?", "ABBY: No, of course not. Holden wouldn't hurt a fly.", "BRENNAN: Well, he's an exterminator. By definition, he hurts flies.", "BOOTH: That's not what she meant, Bones.", "ABBY: Holden is a good boy. We have dinner together almost every night. There's just the two of us, you understand.", "BOOTH: Any friends?", "ABBY: He's very shy. He's much happier working on his projects in the garage.", "BRENNAN: What... what kind of projects?", "ABBY: I don't really know. I like to give him his privacy.", "BOOTH: He have any financial troubles?", "ABBY: Everybody does. He tried to get a loan, but the bank wouldn't give him one.", "BRENNAN: That must have made him very angry.", "ABBY: Well, he isn't perfect. But I know my son. And if there has been any kind of trouble, it is not his fault. Just let me talk to him. He'll tell you, I know he will.", "BOOTH [gently]: I'm afraid that's not going to be possible.", "[ABBY's face falls and she becomes tearful.]", "ABBY: Please. You just tell me what's happened to my son.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: FBI CONFERENCE ROOM. We see CAM on a video link. She is in her office.]", "CAM [on screen]: These just came through from the hospital. Pre-op photos of the cab driver and his x-rays.", "[We see photos of the cabdriver before zooming out to show BOOTH and BRENNAN in a conference room and looking at a large screen.]", "BRENNAN: Severe trauma primarily to the proximal phalanges and metacarpals. Pitting and multiple fractures to the palmar side.", "CAM [in person]: He was probably trying to shield his face from the explosion. We think the fragment in his zygomatic arch may be the missing manubrium fragment.", "BRENNAN: There. Did the hospital deliver the bone shrapnel fragments?", "CAM [in person]: Ms. Wick's working on it now. We're hoping they'll give us a better sense of the bomb.", "BRENNAN: We need Angela to recreate the explosion.", "CAM [on screen]: As soon as Hodgins figures out the bomb.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: LAB PLATFORM. DAISY is leaning over the bone table and HODGINS is standing behind her in a \"hurry up\" manner.]", "DAISY: It's very difficult to work when someone is looking over your shoulder.", "HODGINS: It's even more difficult to work when you have nothing to work on. Snap it up.", "DAISY: This is it. The missing manubrium. Three parallel burns about two millimeters apart.", "HODGINS: Ooh, I think we got our initiator. The bomb maker used the base of a small light bulb. Battery on one end, explosives on the other. I'm going to run this through the EXIS database.", "[He begins to exit,]", "DAISY: Oh, one more thing.", "[HODGINS stills.]", "DAISY: I found this in Santa's 12th rib.", "HODGINS: I'm never going to make my flight.", "DAISY: I recommend celebrating in March.", "HODGINS: Thank you... Ebenezer.", "[He exits.]", "[CUT.]", "[INT: BRENNAN'S APARTMENT. MARGARET is sitting on BRENNAN's couch. BRENNAN sits in an armchair opposite her. They both hold mugs.]", "MARGARET: You're not going to El Salvador for Christmas?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "MARGARET: You don't strike me as someone who's flexible about their schedule.", "BRENNAN: Well, I took advice from someone who knows more about families than I do.", "MARGARET: \"He that raises a large family does stand a broader mark for sorrow, but then, stands a broader mark for pleasure as well.\"", "[There is a knock at the door.]", "BRENNAN [standing]: Well, that's sort of what he said, but without the pleasure part.", "[She opens the door, revealing BOOTH on the other side.]", "BRENNAN [surprised]: Booth.", "BOOTH [entering and not noticing Margaret]: Yeah, so an explosives unit checked out Holden Chevaleer's garage... there was nothing. And, uh, this guy's name doesn't even pop up in the system.", "BRENNAN: Th-That's very interesting, but I...", "BOOTH: Which just confirms that we have to find his accomplice. Nice tree. Oh, wow, who is this, your sister?", "BRENNAN: No, uh... my second cousin.", "MARGARET: I'm Margaret.", "BRENNAN: There's no resemblance.", "BOOTH: What do you mean? You're both very beautiful.", "MARGARET: \"Beauty and folly are old companions.\"", "BRENNAN: Told you... Benjamin Franklin.", "BOOTH: Right, right. Hey, hey! Good old Ben, you know, he invented electricity and the hundred dollar bill.", "MARGARET: Neither one of those things is true.", "BOOTH [to Brennan]: You're right, there's no resemblance whatsoever. Nice meeting you, Maggie.", "BRENNAN: Bye, Booth.", "BOOTH: See ya.", "BRENNAN: Uh, that's my partner. He's FBI.", "MARGARET: His eyes are too small to be really handsome.", "BRENNAN: Well, I have to admit, I... find him pleasing to look at.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: FBI HOOVER BUILDING. BOOTH steps out of elevators, seeing OWEN waiting for him. He strides down the hall and OWEN follow him.]", "OWEN: Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: I'm busy.", "OWEN: Look, what you were saying about my broadcast blowing that guy up... I was hoping you could put me in contact with his mother.", "BOOTH: Stay away from her.", "OWEN: It was a coincidence. No way I could have known in a million years, but still...", "BOOTH: If you don't feel responsible, then why do you want to talk to this victim's mother?", "[They arrive at BOOTH's office and enter.]", "OWEN: Hey, I was Army, man. Just like you. I served my country.", "BOOTH: You don't even remember what this country stands for.", "OWEN: Maybe it's you who forgot.", "BOOTH: Sorry?", "OWEN: Freedom of speech. I have the right to be heard.", "BOOTH: Legally, yeah. Maybe you should think about saying something worth hearing.", "OWEN: Look, it wasn't my fault.", "BOOTH: You spew that poison out in the airwaves... this happened, you know it. [to other agent in area outside office] Agent, show him out.", "OTHER AGENT [removing Owen from office] Sir. Let's go.", "[BOOTH is still in his office. He removes his jacket as a video link with the Jeffersonian opens. HODGINS and CAM are onscreen.]", "CAM: We ran the details of the bomb against the EXIS database. It's an identical match for a number of devices all built by the same man.", "HODGINS: A guy named Malaki Wallace. [wallace's details appear onscreen.]", "CAM: He got busted in the '90s for robbing a Western Union office.", "HODGINS: And using an emulsion bomb with a light bulb initiator.", "BOOTH: Okay, anything more current?", "CAM [in person]: No. He's been dormant since he got out of prison.", "BOOTH [onscreen]: Prison?", "CAM: Yeah. And it looks like he came back with a bang.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. An unkempt middle-aged man is sitting across from BOOTH. This is MALAKI WALLACE (played by Jack Kehler), hereafter referred to as WALLACE.]", "WALLACE: You're not listening. I been out of the bombing game for years.", "BOOTH: Really?", "WALLACE: Really.", "BOOTH: Yeah, so how do you explain this?", "WALLACE: Well, I'm always happy to consult. That is a simple incendiary device. Very rudimentary.", "BOOTH: Right.", "[BOOTH throws it toward the observation room, containing SWEETS. SWEETS remains in the room for the entire scene and we cut to the observation room for all of his lines. BOOTH can hear SWEETS through an earpiece.]", "SWEETS: Whoa! Was that strictly necessary?", "BOOTH: See, explosives unit, they found that in your apartment there, Malaki.", "WALLACE: So? I'm a fidgeter.", "SWEETS: Bomb making is a compulsive activity, much like arson.", "WALLACE: The problem is just about anything will fidget itself into a bomb given half a chance and readily available household products.", "BOOTH: Like something like this?", "[He stands and begins swinging another device, on a string.]", "WALLACE: Okay, okay.", "SWEETS [nervously]: What is that, Booth?", "WALLACE: Now, what do you want?", "BOOTH: Where've you been for the past 48 hours?", "WALLACE: Pushing plungers.", "BOOTH: Demolition?", "WALLACE: I'm an apartment super. Sewer line backed up and I spent Monday and Tuesday unclogging the toilets. I got 35 witnesses. The tenants all had to share one Porta Potti.", "BOOTH: It's not that easy, pal. See, we have a device with your name written all over it. Naptha, limonene, light bulbs, whole deal, pal.", "SWEETS: These guys consider themselves artists, Booth. Teachers.", "BOOTH [to Wallace]: Well, maybe you, uh, you have a protégé. Someone you passed the torch to?", "WALLACE: Well, if someone built one of my devices, they probably just got the recipe off my Web site.", "BOOTH: You have a mad bomber Web site?", "WALLACE: What can I say? Uh, I got fans.", "BOOTH: And these fans... they subscribe?", "WALLACE: E-mails and passwords and correspondence, you name it.", "BOOTH: Right.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: JEFFERSONIAN BONE ROOM. DAISY and BRENNAN are regarding the remains.]", "DAISY: I found this in the area of the right articular capsule. It's a puncture mark, like you would get from a deep needle jab.", "BRENNAN: Well, perhaps it's where the bomber injected himself with propranolol. Although it's unlikely someone would inject themselves deep enough to strike bone.", "DAISY: Exactly. So I reviewed the X rays of the right scapula and hand. Look at the extensor facet of the glenoid cavity, and the bilateral asymmetry of the second metacarpal.", "BRENNAN: Indicative of pronounced right-handedness. He couldn't have injected himself in the right arm.", "[HODGINS enters.]", "HODGINS: Dr. B? I ID'd the fragment of wire we got out of his rib. Booth's gonna want to hear this.", "[BRENNAN begins to exit.]", "[CUT.]", "[INT: BOOTH'S OFFICE. BOOTH is on the phone with the Jeffersonian. He remains in his office for the duration of the call and we cut back and forth to him.]", "BOOTH: All right, so someone else injected Santa with the propranolol.", "[We cut to BRENNAN'S OFFICE, where BRENNAN and HODGINS have BOOTH on speakerphone.]", "BRENNAN: Evidently.", "HODGINS: And the wire in his rib was triple-heat-treated boron/manganese steel.", "BOOTH: Is that what they used to wire the tubes of the explosives together?", "HODGINS: No, it's a patented form of steel used exclusively in high-end bike locks. It wasn't part of the bomb.", "BRENNAN: It was what locked Holden Chevaleer into the bomb. Someone locked him into the vest, dressed him like Santa and then forced him to rob the bank.", "BOOTH: Wait a sec. Patsy. That's why he said what he said. \"I just answered the call.\" The guy's an exterminator, Bones. He meant \"the call\" literally.", "BRENNAN: He answered a service call.", "BOOTH: Only his customer locked him into a bomb and made him rob a bank. This is not good.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because whoever strapped Holden into the bomb didn't get what they wanted. What if they try again?", "[CUT.]", "[INT: JEFFERSONIAN MEDICO-LEGAL LAB. ANGELA and CAM are walking.]", "ANGELA: Oh, you looked peeved.", "CAM: I went to wash my hands just now, but there was no soap in the dispenser. It had to be...", "[They arrive at HODGINS'S OFFICE and enter.]", "CAM: Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Hey.", "[HODGINS is wearing a bomb-type contraption similar to that of HOLDEN in an effort to gather information.]", "HODGINS: Uh, you look irked.", "CAM [staring in horror at Hodgins, with her mouth open and attempting to speak]: ...", "ANGELA [translating]: She's mad about the soap.", "CAM: Your analysis of the emulsion bomb included detergent.", "ANGELA: You didn't actually get permission to recreate the bomb, did you?", "CAM [in shock]: Oh, my God.", "HODGINS: I needed to do this so that Angela could recreate the explosion.", "CAM: You told him that?", "ANGELA: No, no, don't let him turn this around on me.", "CAM: I do not want an explosive device in my lab.", "HODGINS: Relax, I did not connect the initiator...", "[He moves to do something with pliers.]", "CAM: No!", "HODGINS [patiently]: It is perfectly safe.", "[There is a pause as CAM studies his hands suspiciously.]", "CAM: What's that?", "HODGINS: It's antimony sulfide. It's fine on its own. It's perfectly harmless. The bomber used it in the detonating charge.", "ANGELA [fondly]: Hodgins is very authentic when it comes to his reconstructions.", "CAM: We have to pull the evidence trays.", "[She exits hurriedly as ANGELA and HODGINS stare after her, puzzled.]", "[CUT to LAB PLATFORM, where ANGELA, HODGINS and CAM are unloading and sorting through the evidence trays.]", "ANGELA: Give me a clue here, guys. What are we looking for?", "CAM: It's H11209, biological evidence from witness Georgia Hartmeyer.", "HODGINS: Oh, got it. It's her fingernail.", "[He opens a container.]", "CAM: I thought it was just blast residue, but that stain's definitely on the inside.", "[The container holds a fingernail clipping. HODGINS wipes the inside of the fingernail with a Q-tip and licks the Q-tip as ANGELA and CAM watch disgustedly.]", "CAM: Did you have to do that?", "HODGINS: It's metallic and sweet. That is definitely antimony sulfide.", "CAM: And it couldn't have gotten there unless she helped assemble the bomb.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. GEORGIA is waiting impatiently.]", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN enter.]", "BOOTH: Okay, Ms. Hartmeyer, we just have a couple follow-up questions, that's all.", "[They sit.]", "BRENNAN: Like... what were you doing outside the bank... for instance?", "GEORGIA: I told you, waiting for the bus.", "BOOTH: I checked. You live on the other side of town.", "GEORGIA: I take the bus to work.", "BOOTH: You were fired three months ago.", "GEORGIA: I like to shop in that area, okay?", "BRENNAN: That is very interesting, because we checked your credit cards and you've never made a purchase anywhere near Capital Mutual Bank.", "BOOTH: Gotcha.", "GEORGIA: You got nothing. I didn't blow him up. I swear I didn't blow him up.", "[CUT.]", "[INT: ANGELA'S OFFICE. ANGELA and BRENNAN stand in front of ANGELA's display screen.]", "ANGELA: So, I recreated the scene outside the bank.", "[We see the image of a generic man who is wearing a red belt buckle with a rooster on it.]", "BRENNAN: Oh, that's Booth, with the Cocky belt.", "ANGELA: Yeah, and this is the cab driver and Georgia Hartmeyer. [She indicates other generic figures.] Now, I factored in everything we know about the bomb's velocity and direction... including the positions of Booth, Georgia and the cab driver prior to the blast. Okay, here we go.", "[She plays the recreation. We see the illustrated 'SANTA' enter the street and then the blast, followed by simultaneous split-screen illustrations of the reactions of BOOTH, GEORGIA, the CABDRIVER and the place where SANTA blew up.]", "ANGELA: You see the problem?", "BRENNAN: The cab driver covered his face with his hands; we know that from his injuries. But given his proximity, he wouldn't have had the time.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Now, I can adjust his reaction times, but even when I go superhuman... and I'm talking, like, Maverick and Iceman reaction times... look at where the bone shrapnel lands.", "[She demonstrates these other possibilities, with the shrapnel landing in improbable locations.]", "BRENNAN: The only explanation is that he was reacting not to the explosion but to the sound of the radio.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Now check out the FCC's frequency allocation chart.", "[An image of said chart appears onscreen.]", "ANGELA: Now, Owen Thiel broadcast his pirate radio signal at 27.4 megahertz. Which is right next to 27.41 megahertz, which is the land mobile frequency this cab driver used.", "BRENNAN: So Georgia and the cab driver must have locked Holden into the bomb vest. They waited outside of the bank. If Holden didn't do what they asked, the cab driver could detonate him with the cab radio.", "ANGELA: Yeah, only Owen Thiel beat him to it.", "BRENNAN: I'll have Booth look for the cab driver's name on Malaki's Web site subscriber list.", "[She pulls out a phone and conveys the information to BOOTH.]", "ANGELA: You know, all those jokes that I made about Santa ruining Christmas, I suck.", "BRENNAN: Well, at the time you made those jokes, you weren't aware that Holden was a patsy.", "ANGELA: You don't think that sometimes we forget those bones out there are people?", "[CUT.]", "[INT: BOOTH'S SUV. BOOTH and BRENNAN are in the car.]", "BOOTH: Georgia and the cab driver, they flipped on each other the second I got them into interrogation. Apparently they found each other at a debt counseling seminar, of all things.", "BRENNAN: Well, how did they pick Holden?", "BOOTH: The phone book. They called, and as soon as he showed up, they jumped him. Told him if he did what they wanted, they would set him free.", "BRENNAN [sadly]: Sometimes people are terrible.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I know.", "BRENNAN: Cam says that the victim's mother is burying him on Christmas morning.", "BOOTH: I heard that.", "BRENNAN: It was just him and his mom, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah, guy worked alone. He never had time for any friends.", "[BRENNAN nods thoughtfully.]", "BOOTH: What's wrong?", "BRENNAN: Max told me that being alone at Christmas means that nobody loves you. She's burying her son. Alone. On Christmas. I think that's heartbreaking.", "BOOTH: You know, when I say \"heartbreaking,\" you say that the heart is a muscle so it... it can't break, it can only get crushed.", "BRENNAN [choked up]: Isn't it heart-crushing?", "BOOTH: You want to go to his funeral?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I would. Then... she won't be alone.", "BOOTH: You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.", "[He smiles at her. She exhales shakily.]", "[CUT.]", "[INT: CAM'S CAR, night. She and MICHELLE are presumably on the way to the airport.]", "MICHELLE: You're being quiet. I promise to text 85 times a day. [Cam pulls over.] Why are you stopping?", "CAM: I don't want you to go to Hawaii.", "MICHELLE [angrily]: You're changing your mind?", "CAM: You and me... we're the closest thing we have to family.", "MICHELLE: You can't just change your mind.", "CAM: And family spends Christmas together. We're spending Christmas together.", "MICHELLE: You're serious?!", "CAM: If I let you go, you're gonna have a good time...", "MICHELLE: What's wrong with that?!", "CAM: Everything. Because that's what we'll be to each other, just two people who don't spend Christmas together.", "MICHELLE: So you want to be two people who spend Christmas together but one of them is really, really mad?", "CAM: I know deep down you care. ...I just hope not too deep down.", "MICHELLE: Can we at least talk about this?", "CAM: No. It's my job to prove to you every day that you are loved in this world. And if doing that makes you angry...", "MICHELLE: It makes me furious!", "CAM: Well, then that's the price I pay. But you will know beyond a doubt that I can't just let you go flying off and not have it absolutely ruin my Christmas. Because right now, the way things are, there's... no Christmas without you.", "[There is a long pause. Michelle looks over and away. Cam looks at her and then away. Finally they look at each other. Michelle leans over and hugs Cam.]", "MICHELLE: I love you, too.", "[Cam smiles. Michelle smiles back.]", "[CUT.]", "[EXT: OWEN'S HOUSE. We watch through the window as OWEN THIEL is at his desk. He begins a broadcast. The mood is somber and his tone is pensive and remorseful.]", "[MUSIC: \"Star of Wonder\" by Matt Alber.]", "OWEN: A man died this week. By all accounts, he was a good man. Loved his mother, worked hard, shouldered his responsibilities. He was a man that any one of us would be proud to call \"friend.\"", "[MUSIC continues OWEN's broadcast plays over the next scenes.]", "[EXT: GRAVEYARD. ABBY is standing alone at HOLDEN's grave. There is a coffin resting on a green mat on the snowy ground. A priest-type man is standing at the head of the coffin.]", "OWEN [offscreen V.O.]: I killed him. With this microphone. I killed him by going on these airwaves and sharing my rage with you. Spreading my rage.", "[The camera pulls back to reveal BOOTH and BRENNAN slowly coming to stand behind ABBY. They proffer a wreath and she smiles sadly. BOOTH lays the wreath on the coffin.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: Now, you can say that it wasn't my fault, that it was a coincidence. I thought about that. Thought about it a lot. But the fact is...", "[BOOTH crosses himself, and he and BRENNAN lower their heads.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: The fact is, if it weren't for me, he might still be alive. I'm so sorry for that.", "[BRENNAN watches BOOTH and then looks toward ABBY. Once again we return to an above shot and six other figures are walking toward the grave.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: And I remembered something that I forgot over the last few years: that God is not only a god of anger and vengeance.", "[BOOTH and BRENNAN hear crunching footsteps and look at each other in surprise, then behind them. Standing a respectful distance back are ANGELA, HODGINS, CAM, MICHELLE, SWEETS and DAISY, all dressed in funeral attire and looking somber.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: Now, my religious beliefs tell me that Christ did not die in vain.", "[ABBY looks back and sees the other attendees. She is still tearful but looks grateful also.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: That He died to redeem us all.", "[Another aerial shot of the group of eight at the graveside as the service begins.]", "OWEN [V.O.]: And I intend to show that this good, simple man also did not die in vain.", "[Now we return to OWEN through his window. We see him sitting at a desk and leaning toward a microphone.]", "OWEN: That he redeemed one angry, shouting man. So these are the last words I will ever broadcast. And I hope they're the words you remember best.", "[There is a long pause.]", "OWEN: Peace on Earth.", "[He finishes the broadcast and removes the headphones.]", "[We see a series of large, decorated, lit-up Christmas trees next to a variety of D.C. landmarks before an exterior of BRENNAN's apartment.]", "[INT: BRENNAN'S APARTMENT. It is festively decorated, and CAM, MICHELLE, SWEETS, DAISY, ANGELA, HODGINS, BOOTH, BRENNAN and also MAX and MARGARET are present.]", "[MUSIC: \"O Christmas Tree\".]", "CAM [to Sweets and Daisy]: What happened to the \"down with Christmas, let's hump like bunnies\" thing?", "SWEETS: I'm not here for baby Jesus; I'm here for Agent Booth.", "CAM: Ah, that explains the antlers.", "SWEETS: It was a moment of whimsy.", "MICHELLE: They look good on you, Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: Thank you.", "[Elsewhere in the apartment: Angela walks toward Hodgins.]", "ANGELA and HODGINS: Hey.", "[HODGINS hands her a cup.]", "ANGELA: Thanks. So you think that we should feel like big, giant losers that we're not spending Christmas with family?", "HODGINS: There's more than one kind of family.", "ANGELA: Merry Christmas, Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Merry Christmas, Angela.", "[ KITCHEN: BOOTH, MARGARET and BRENNAN are preparing food items.]", "BOOTH [to Margaret]: Hey. That's too much salt there, that's too much salt.", "[He exits to DINING ROOM]", "MARGARET: \"He that would fish must venture his bait.\"", "BOOTH [from dining room]: Bones, when are we gonna eat? I'm starving.", "BRENNAN: Well, right now. [to Margaret] If Booth wants to fish, he'll fish. What on earth are you trying to say?", "MAX [who has been offscreen]: Honey, families always give unwanted advice.", "BRENNAN: Unwanted advice? You... you have to stop quoting Benjamin Franklin at me.", "[She is carrying something to the table. Margaret picks up something and follows.]", "MARGARET: Why?", "BRENNAN: Well, I have no evidence of this, but I feel that every time you do that, it's not actually communication. I feel the same way when people tell jokes.", "MARGARET [thoughtfully]: Hmm. I never thought of it that way.", "BRENNAN: I'd rather hear what you have to say than Benjamin Franklin.", "MARGARET: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.", "[Everyone has been coming to the table and they are now all seated expectantly.]", "MAX: Tempe. This is your gathering. Wouldn't you like to say something?", "BRENNAN: Oh, um... [standing] Thank you, everyone, for coming. Let's eat. [she sits]", "MAX: No. I-I mean, would you like to say something about Christmas?", "BRENNAN: Okay. [standing] Um, Christmas has its roots in the pagan festival of Saturnalia, which is traditionally celebrated by intoxication, naked singing and the consumption of human-shaped biscuits.", "BOOTH [standing hurriedly]: I think what Bones is trying to say here is that we're all just happy that we are all together.", "BRENNAN: Well, we're all together every day.", "MARGARET: Not me. No, I'm not here every day.", "MAX [to Margaret]: Well, it's a different kind of together.", "BOOTH [toasting]: To family... friends... lovers... family... and food.", "BRENNAN: You said \"family\" twice. It's repetitious.", "BOOTH: It's a good toast, though. Cheers. Okay?", "BRENNAN: Cheers.", "ALL OVERLAPPING: Cheers, Merry Christmas.", "BOOTH [as he and Brennan sit]: All right.", "MARGARET: What do we do now?", "BOOTH: Ah, let's say a prayer.", "BRENNAN: No, no prayer, not in my place.", "BOOTH: Bones, I always pray.", "BRENNAN: Maybe just a moment of silence.", "BOOTH: Hold hands.", "[ALL hold hands.]", "BOOTH: Silent night.", "[The camera pulls back through the window. We see the gathering around the table holding hands.]", "[THE END.]" ]

[ "An out-of-this-world case brings Brennan and Booth to New Mexico where they investigate human remains with extraterrestrial attributes. The victim is identified as a local UFO fanatic, known around town for her relentless search for alien life forms and whose latest \"evidence\" leads even Brennan and Booth to re-think outside existence. Meanwhile, a local sheriff refuses to release the bones, forcing the team at the Jeffersonian to work via satellite, and Angela and Jeffersonian intern Wendell come clean about their relationship." ]

[ "TEASER", "(Open: Roswell, New Mexico. A man is searching for aliens in a desert.)", "MARVIN: (on phone) I can't hear you-the reception's bad out here. Aliens? I told you baby, I'm done hunting aliens. I am on the road. Yeah, in Florida, yeah. What? No I'm in my hotel room working late. You're just going to have to trust me, babe. Yeah. Well, I'm s- I'm sorry that's the way you feel. A souvenir from Florida. Oh, babe, I can't take a... like, a list right now. Well, there are no pens or pads in this hotel. (Shines flashlight on a body) Oh, my god! Babe! I found one. No, not a pen -- an alien. A real one. Oh, my god, I gotta get a picture of this. (Takes a picture on phone)", "(Twigs snap and Marvin turns around.)", "MARVIN: What's that?! Baby, there's more of them. I come in peace. I'm Marvin Breekman but you can call me Marvin. Or Marv. (Screams and runs away) Oh, my god, oh, my god!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)", "WENDELL: I made reservations at the club. DJ Spider tonight, then back to my place?", "ANGELA: I'm not sure if I can wait for tonight.", "WENDELL: Okay, I was fine until you just said that.", "ANGELA: You know, I have a key to the Egyptian storage room.", "WENDELL: Not on campus, not at work.", "ANGELA: Come on, are you really as virtuous as you seem?", "WENDELL: I can be very bad when the time is right.", "(They kiss.)", "WENDELL: We do get a very generous lunch break, and there's a little hotel a few blocks away.", "ANGELA: Wow, Mr. Bray.", "(Cam enters.)", "WENDELL: Dr. Saroyan, I was just asking Angela if she could do some 3D modeling of a shattered femur that I was given by the archaeology department. (Hands Angela a folder)", "CAM: Save it, Mr. Bray. You think you have the big secret, but you don't. (Hands Wendell a folder)", "ANGELA: I thought we were being subtle.", "WENDELL: Oh man, do you think Hodgins knows?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Desert in Roswell, New Mexico. Booth and Brennan are walking to the body.)", "BOOTH: Can you imagine if we found an alien - a real one?", "BRENNAN: You mean someone who slipped illegally into the country from Mexico or Canada?", "BOOTH: Come on Bones, you don't believe that there are other real life-forms out there?", "BRENNAN: Well, the probability is very high but any aliens visiting this planet would have sufficient intelligence not to die in the middle of the desert.", "(Brennan and Booth approach Sheriff Jerry Bonds.)", "BOOTH: Hey. FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.", "BONDS: Sheriff Jerry Bonds. But you probably got that from my shiny badge, my imposing gun and my big hat.", "BOOTH: Yeah, right.", "BONDS: Remains are right over there.", "(Bonds, Booth and Brennan walk over to the body.)", "BOOTH: Looks like an alien to me.", "BRENNAN: Judging by the pelvic inlet and the pubic symphysis-female, maybe 30 years old.", "BOOTH: Earth female?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Body moisture was trapped by this silver coat she's wearing, turning some of her fat into adipocere. I have no idea why it's so hard.", "BONDS: Didn't even dig a shallow grave. Just left her here to be eaten.", "BRENNAN: Which is the smartest possible way to get rid of human remains.", "(Marsha approaches with shotgun pointed at Brennan and Booth.)", "MARSHA: What the hell is going on here now?", "BOOTH: Oh, easy, FBI. Put the shotgun down, ma'am.", "MARSHA: This is my land. I've got a right to protect my land.", "BONDS: Yeah, uh huh, Marsha, but we got a dead body. (Takes shotgun from Marsha) A woman, seems like.", "MARSHA: Great. Now I've got dead people.", "BOOTH: You don't know anything about this?", "MARSHA: Nope.", "BRENNAN: I want the remains brought back to the Jeffersonian for examination.", "BONDS: Nuh uh, not gonna happen. My jurisdiction, my body. She stays here.", "BOOTH: No, FBI has got jurisdiction on this case. (to Brennan) You want it, right?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: The FBI will keep you apprised.", "BONDS: Nuh-uh, FBI's got jurisdiction only if I agree. Otherwise, you need to jump through several legal hoops, which will take some time, during which time the victim stays in town.", "BRENNAN: Then why did you call us?", "BONDS: I could use the help, but I'm not going to take the heat when people scream I sent an alien off to Washington for secret testing. (Laughs) I've been through that before.", "BRENNAN: These remains are not extraterrestrial.", "(Victim's cell phone rings: X-Files theme song.)", "BRENNAN: It's a cell phone.", "BOOTH: You hope.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Opening credits)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act I", "(Todd Copps Medical Center in Roswell, New Mexico)", "BONDS: I traced the cell phone to the guy who found the remains. I'm holding him on trespassing charges. This is part of our hospital that got shut down. It's a perfect place for you to look at the remains.", "BRENNAN: I need to send samples back to the lab.", "BONDS: Yeah, uh-huh, but the big body part stays here. Now, the remains are in here and Mr. Breekman's at my office if you want to come with me, Agent Booth. Ma'am. (Tips hat at Brennan)", "BOOTH: Hey, you're going to be okay here all alone in this spooky hospital with a dead alien body?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Right. That would be me who wouldn't want that.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Brennan in medical center lab, connected via laptop with Cam at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)", "BRENNAN: The remains are encased in adipocere.", "CAM: If it's okay with Sheriff Lobo, maybe you could send me some.", "BRENNAN: It appears to be petrified.", "CAM: A coat alone doesn't count for that.", "BRENNAN: I'll send the coat to Hodgins, see what he can discern from it. Her skeletal robusticity and large areas of muscle attachment suggest extremely good health.", "CAM: A couple weeks in the desert and no critters got at these remains?", "WENDELL: Perhaps the result of green radiation from alien hyper drive systems? Or something not crazy.", "BRENNAN: The man who found them remarked that he saw several sets of orange eyes staring at him from the darkness.", "WENDELL: Orange-eyeballed aliens?", "BRENNAN: Tapetum lucidum of the American coyote glows orange when light strikes the retina. What he saw were likely coyotes, not orange-eyeballed aliens. Oh, you were being facetious. That's funny.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth in interrogation room, connected via laptop to Sweets - in Sweets' Office)", "SWEETS: Wearing your earpiece, he's not going to be able to hear me so I can help you with your interrogation. Some people who chase UFOS believe in alien abductions. Now, these people tend to be dreamy, highly suggestible, and possess a strong belief that there is something larger than them out there, something that they can't control.", "MARVIN: Look, I only found the body. I didn't make it dead.", "SWEETS: Okay, that's very dissociative language: 'make it dead.'", "BOOTH: So, Mr. Breekman, you were abducted by aliens five years ago?", "MARVIN: Yes.", "BOOTH: If aliens are so advanced, why would they need probes?", "MARVIN: I think they like it.", "BOOTH: Why would you hook up with aliens if they like to anally probe you?", "MARVIN: there are two races of aliens and they do not see eye to eye.", "BOOTH: Right.", "MARVIN: I know things. I get laughed at but I persist because I know things. It just seems like maybe I deserve a little respect for that.", "BOOTH: All right, of course. I apologize.", "MARVIN: Okay, then, can I go home?", "BOOTH: Why were you in the desert last night?", "MARVIN: I was looking for UFOs.", "BOOTH: No, I mean to that specific area. I mean, what are the changes of you stumbling across a body in the dark...", "SWEETS: The vastness.", "BOOTH: ... the vastness of the desert. You really want me to believe that that's some kind of big coincidence?", "MARVIN: Yes, it was a coincidence.", "BOOTH: I don't believe you. I think you're lying.", "SWEETS: Sometimes I think you just pull me into these interrogations to show off. Wait, Booth, I-", "(Booth closes the laptop.)", "BOOTH: Until you tell the truth, you know what? You're not going home.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Hotel room, Angela and Wendell in bed.)", "ANGELA: You have something on your mind?", "WENDELL: This thing that we have going here...", "ANGELA: You're worried about Cam knowing?", "WENDELL: No, no. I'm worried about Hodgins not knowing.", "ANGELA: Listen, Wendell, Hodgins and I are in the past.", "WENDELL: I mean, if you were really, totally in the past, then we wouldn't be keeping this a secret from him.", "ANGELA: Do you want me to tell Hodgins?", "WENDELL: If you don't mind, I'd like to do it. He's my friend.", "ANGELA: A man-to-man, look-him-in-the-eye kind of thing?", "WENDELL: Yeah, something like that.", "ANGELA: (laughs) Okay, let's do it your way.", "(They kiss)", "WENDELL: You mean, talk to Hodgins or...?", "ANGELA: You're the worst. Both. Consider this a do-over.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: hallway in Todd Copps Medical Center - Booth is walking down the hallway and Delmy joins him.)", "DELMY: Do you know who I am?", "BOOTH: Oh, no, do you know who I am?", "DELMY: FBI? Military intelligence? That's an oxymoron, you know, a term that contradicts itself. I'm Delmy Polanco. I'm the most important UFO blogger in the world.", "BOOTH: 'Important blogger.' Talk about an oxymoron.", "DELMY: What can you tell me about the alien body?", "BOOTH: I don't know anything about the alien body.", "DELMY: Definitely FBI. I can practically smell the suit.", "BOOTH: I don't wear a suit all the time, you know.", "BONDS: I see you've met Delmy.", "DELMY: I'm looking for info into a foil-wrapped body with alien features, pieces of which have already been sent to the Jeffersonian Institution in Washington, D. C. I'm invoking the Freedom of Information Act, which means you have to tell me what I want to know.", "BONDS: The Freedom of Information Act is not a magic spell, Delmy. It merely gives a citizen the right to request information.", "DELMY: I'm gonna post all this on my blog tonight and by tomorrow morning, this whole town will be swarming with UFO nuts.", "BONDS: Trespassing again? Well, this facility is clearly marked private property. (Shakes handcuffs at Delmy)", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Todd Copps Medical Center - MRI Room - Booth enters.)", "BRENNAN: Oh, good, you got here for the good stuff.", "BOOTH: What good stuff?", "BRENNAN: MRI. It's an older model but entirely serviceable.", "BOOTH: Okay, for future reference, that's not the good stuff.", "BRENNAN: Well, sure it is. Look at all those remodeled lateral malleolus fractures. (Points to the computer)", "(Skeleton starts to rise up towards the MRI machine.)", "BRENNAN: Also, signs of inflammation to the tannin fibers here and damaged... (Notices skeleton moving and screams)", "(Booth takes out his gun, tries to shoot skeleton but gun flies toward the MRI machine. Brennan turns off MRI machine, gun and skeleton drop to the ground.)", "BOOTH: You know, I won't say anything about the scream if you don't say anything about the gun.", "BRENNAN: Those terms are satisfactory.", "BOOTH: Right.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act II (Brennan in Todd Copps Medical Center - Lab, connected via laptop to Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform with Cam, Hodgins and Wendell.", "BRENNAN: (taking bullets out of the victim's skull) That's five.", "HODGINS: Too big to be buckshot. Photos you sent of the first one show to be a ball bearing approximately 17.5 millimeters.", "BRENNAN: That makes number six.", "CAM: Certainly enough metal to generate the magnetism to raise the remains when exposed to the MRI.", "HODGINS: Well, when I receive them, I might be able to ID the manufacturer and intended use, which I imagine was not murder.", "(Angela enters)", "ANGELA: Hey. I finished the facial reconstruction off the MRI. I'm emailing it now. Sorry - it is not an alien.", "WENDELL: I noticed on the MRI that the victim's patellas were fractured.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'll swab the area, and send the samples with the ball bearings.", "HODGINS: Well, there's no striations on the ball bearings in this photo you sent so there's no evidence that they were shot.", "CAM: Shotgun, maybe? Full of ball bearings?", "BRENNAN: Well, the owner of the ranch threatened us with a shotgun. (moves to take off her gloves)", "CAM: Not so fast, Dr. Brennan. I know you dislike flesh, but I'm going to need you to remove the adipocere organs.", "WENDELL: Oh, Dr. Brennan dealing with flesh.", "HODGINS: Like a cat dealing with water.", "BRENNAN: Flesh is not my strength.", "CAM: You're gonna need a hair dryer and some cooking spray.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Roswell, New Mexico - field on edge of Marsha's property.)", "MARSHA: Yep, I've caught her trespassing on my ranch a bunch of times. That's El Crazerita.", "BOOTH: El Crazerita. You know her real name?", "MARSHA: Nope. I don't make friends with these nuts.", "BOOTH: Sheriff Bonds says you've been charged with misdemeanor assault with a firearm about three times.", "MARSHA: Someone cut through this fence, Agent Booth. They were trespassers, which is why I was never convicted.", "BOOTH: Even though you shot at them?", "MARSHA: Salt.", "BOOTH: Salt?", "MARSHA: Salt. Rock salt. Stings like a sumbitch. Discourages trespassing.", "BOOTH: You ever use ball bearings instead of salt?", "MARSHA: Ball bearings? That'd rip somebody apart.", "BOOTH: Hmm. Like when you took a shot at, uh, ol' El Crazerita?", "MARSHA: You think I killed her? You think I'm dumb enough to spend my life in prison for killing some alien head nut who spent all her time shooting stupid videos?", "BOOTH: Videos? Videos of what?", "MARSHA: Videos of everything. Looking for spacemen. You wanna know about her? Ask Blaine Miller at the Space Place Café. She was always hanging out at his diner with the other fruitcakes.", "BOOTH: Sure. Tell you what, I'll take a look at your shotgun there and run some tests. You know, just to make sure.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Brennan at Todd Copps Medical Center - Lab, connected via laptop with Cam at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Brennan is taking apart the organs from the victim.)", "BRENNAN: I did it!", "CAM: Very good, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Yes, it was.", "CAM: Now, remove the stomach.", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "(Hodgins enters.)", "HODGINS: She was covered in ethyl parathion and aldicarb. It was all over her space-age outerwear. It's an insecticide. It's extremely illegal in the U.S., but it's still sold south of the border. It explains why the adipocere dried so quickly.", "CAM: So our victim was using a dangerous insecticide. Not unusual for someone who's a couple of tacos short of a combo plate.", "HODGINS: Nice metaphor.", "CAM: Thanks.", "BRENNAN: I found something. It's a memory card tied to a string. It appears to be dental floss.", "CAM: Check her teeth. Any evidence of floss still on her teeth?", "BRENNAN: Yes. There's a fragment tied to the left second premolar.", "CAM: She was hiding the card. It's an old prison trick. She tied one end of the floss to her tooth and the other end to the memory card, so if she needed it, she could use the floss to pull it up.", "BRENNAN: I'll overnight the card to Angela. Whatever is on it was important enough to hide.", "HODGINS: My guess, it's important enough to kill for.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Hodgin's Office. Hodgins is working and Wendell enters.)", "WENDELL: Hey, Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Hey, man, did you hear? Brennan's sending the victim's SD card from Roswell. Probably video on there the government wanted suppressed. Because at Area 51...", "WENDELL: Right, um. Look, do you have a second?", "HODGINS: Sure, yeah. Something wrong?", "WENDELL: We're friends, right?", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "WENDELL: I don't lie, or keep things from my friends.", "HODGINS: Okay, all right.", "WENDELL: Angela and I...", "HODGINS: Oh. (laughs) You're kidding, right? Go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out. Hey, good luck with that.", "WENDELL: Hodgins, what I'm trying to tell you is that my luck has already been good.", "HODGINS: Oh.", "WENDELL: I would never want you to think that I...", "HODGINS: No, no, Wendell, Wendell, stop, stop, stop. It's been over between Angela and me for a long time. I have moved on. And you know what? I'm happy for you, you know? And for her.", "WENDELL: Really?", "HODGINS: Yes, really. You're both my friends. Why wouldn't I be happy for you?", "WENDELL: I don't... okay. Thanks man.", "HODGINS: of course. I'll tell you what, hey, why don't the three of us grab lunch together, huh? This is a good thing Wendell, this should not be weird for us.", "WENDELL: Yeah, yeah, sure, lunch. That sounds great man.", "HODGINS: Great, good, good.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)", "BRENNAN: The stomach acid ate away at the card, but Angela says she should be able to pull something off of it.", "BOOTH: Well, Vinton said El Crazerita shot a lot of video. Maybe she filmed the real thing.", "BRENNAN: What, an extraterrestrial?", "BOOTH: Yeah, look, you said it was possible, all right? But they have big eyes and big heads, you know, for the super smart brain.", "BRENNAN: That's far more logical if they had the eyes of flies and the exoskeleton of a cockroach.", "BOOTH: Insect people? Insects can't fly a spaceship.", "BRENNAN: Well, the cockroach is an evolutionary marvel. They can withstand radiation, live without breathing for almost an hour, go without eating for weeks. Imagine that combined with an intelligence that evolved over many millennia.", "BOOTH: Plus, they do have extra arms.", "BRENNAN: Hmm.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Space Place Café, Booth and Brennan enter and wander around.)", "BOOTH: Wow, would you look at this place? Wow, this is so cool. (reads from pamphlet) 'UFO Museum Research Center.' Check this out. Look at those guns. No way, Bones! Look at this. Rocketship 7. Hey, I used to watch that when I was a little boy. The Sweetlees , and there was Mr. Beeper and Promo the Robot.", "BRENNAN: Well, the way this craft is designed, it could never leave the earth's atmosphere.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but according to Dave Thomas and Rocketship 7, you would go on adventures like no other.", "(Blaine Miller walks up from behind.)", "MILLER: You two looking for aliens? The name's Blaine Miller.", "BOOTH: Not exactly. (shows FBI badge)", "BLAINE: Oh. You hear about that body they found up at Vinton's place?", "BRENNAN: We never mentioned a body, Mr. Miller.", "MILLER: Nothing travels faster than the speed of light than gossip in a small town.", "TOURIST WOMAN: Excuse me, sir? Why are all these radios on?", "MILLER: Well, this is some of the original equipment that picked up the signal from the craft that landed right here in Roswell.", "TOURIST WOMAN: Dave, these are the radios that heard the aliens! (she leaves)", "BRENNAN: But that's absurd, why would she believe you?", "MILLER: Because they travel all the way to Roswell to believe in aliens, just like everybody else.", "BRENNAN: Do you recognize this woman, Mr. Miller? (shows a picture of the victim)", "MILLER: Sure. This is Ursula Lapine. She's a regular. She the one who's dead?", "BRENNAN: When was the last time you saw her?", "MILLER: Maybe a month ago. She was having an argument with another woman. I had to tell her to keep it down.", "BOOTH: And who was this other woman?", "MILLER: I don't know. I never saw her before. African-American, good looking. In a suit.", "BOOTH: This woman, Ursula, she live around here?", "MILLER: Outside of town. She's in one of those shiny, spaceship-type trailers.", "TOURIST WOMAN: I think I hear something. I think I hear a spaceship.", "BRENNAN: (laughs) Oh. She was serious?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Lapine's Trailer - exterior.)", "BOOTH: This must be the space - spacey-looking trailer.", "(They approach the trailer.)", "BRENNAN: Oh, one of the windows is broken.", "BOOTH: All right. Stay behind me, Bones. (pulls out his gun and investigates the trailer.)", "(Brennan finds a cinder block in the bushes with blood on it.)", "BOOTH: Bones, I think you need to see this.", "BRENNAN: And you need to see this. There's blood on it.", "BOOTH: Could have been what busted her knees. You gotta check this out.", "(Booth and Brennan enter the trailer.)", "BRENNAN: She seems very thorough.", "BOOTH: Mmm. The word loony come to mind?", "BRENNAN: This is a remarkably well-researched wall for a crazerita.", "BOOTH: Crazerita is right. What about this here? Look. Check this out.", "BRENNAN: Something was taken.", "BOOTH: Maybe that's why Ursula was killed.", "BRENNAN: Well, this cinder block was obviously used in an assault. We have to analyze the blood.", "BOOTH: You know what? Maybe we can pull a print off the block like this... all right, watch this. This... that is magic. (pulls finger prints off the cinder block using pencil, paper and tape)", "BRENNAN: Science.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)", "CAM: (enters) Did you have any luck? Was the data damaged?", "ANGELA: Uh, a bit. There might be still a few corrupted frames.", "CAM: So, it's video.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but I think it's gonna play.", "(Video starts.)", "ANGELA: Oh, my god, is that what I think it is? And are those...", "CAM: No. Impossible. This was doctored.", "ANGELA: No, it isn't. This was verified by the scanning software at a pixel level", "CAM: Are you saying our victim might have stumbled on a real UFO?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act III", "(Brennan and Booth at Todd Copps Medical Center, connected via laptop to Angela at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)", "ANGELA: So, assuming that the figures in the Hazmat suits are of average height, then the structure here must be about four to five meters tall.", "BOOTH: Why is the ground glowing?", "ANGELA: Uh, the light seems to be emitting from a spilled liquid.", "BOOTH: UFO fuel.", "BRENNAN: What are those two humanoid shapes there, between the Hazmat-suited humans and the craft?", "ANGELA: Well, look, I'm gonna keep working on this footage, but you guys have to admit that this makes the hairs on your arm stand on end, right?", "(Brennan and Booth look at their arms.)", "BRENNAN: The hairs on my arm are not reacting in any way. But thanks, Angela. (closes laptop) It's not a spaceship.", "BOOTH: Well, if it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...", "BRENNAN: But then it would be a duck, not a spaceship, so your point escapes me.", "BOOTH: It's just a metaphor.", "(Delmy and Bonds enter.)", "DELMY: Have you decided to let me go?", "BOOTH: No, actually, we have a few more questions. You ever been out to Ursula Lapine's trailer?", "DELMY: No.", "BRENNAN: Oh, we have evidence that you're lying.", "BONDS: Yep, you fell into that one, Delmy.", "BRENNAN: We have your fingerprints on a cinder block that was used to break into her trailer. Also, blood.", "BOOTH: And you took something off her wall.", "DELMY: If I give it to you, will you drop the trespassing charges and let me go?", "BONDS: If you don't hand it over, I'll just charge you with obstructing justice, and he'll charge you with interfering with a Federal investigation. Eh, maybe even murder and you will pray for the good old days, where all you were worrying about were those silly little trespassing and burglary charges.", "BRENNAN: I find he's very useful in certain situations.", "BOOTH: Very useful. So, gonna hand 'em over?", "(Delmy takes what was stolen out of her blouse and hands it to Bonds.)", "BONDS: Oh. Holy cow. Pay dirt. I gotta get better at friskin'.", "DELMY: I'm gonna need a copy for my article. 'UFO-Obsessed Woman Dies in Alien Encounter.'", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)", "HODGINS: So the swab from the victim's damaged patellas show traces of sediment but it's not cement.", "CAM: So what hit her knees wasn't cinder block?", "HODGINS: No, the sediment is gypsum, dating back to the Pleistocene and Holocene eras. It's probably from the Tularose or Estancia Basins.", "CAM: Mexico?", "HODGINS: Yeah. Northern Mexico is the closest occurrence of this rock. Here's an interesting conjunction of possibilities: the insecticide that she was soaked in, it's called 'Tres Pasitos.' It's not available in the United States.", "CAM: Is it available in Mexico?", "HODGINS: (hands Cam a folder) Readily.", "CAM: Excellent.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)", "ANGELA: So, I took the information that you gave me, and it looks as through the projectiles first impacted next to the juncture between the frontal and parietal bones.", "WENDELL: So, the bearings entered beneath her chin, then ricocheted around in her skull?", "ANGELA: Yeah, that seems to make the most sense.", "WENDELL: But I've never heard of any projectiles that would enter at that range and not fracture the skull.", "ANGELA: Well, what about, like, slow moving projectiles? Maybe a paintball gun?", "WENDELL: A little more powerful than that, but not much. Time for lunch.", "ANGELA: Oh. To prove we're all fine?", "WENDELL: Yeah.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Royal Diner - Interior. Hodgins, Angela and Wendell are having lunch. Sweets enters to grab lunch.)", "HODGINS: You guys can hold hands, if you want. Eat off each other's plates. I mean, any and all of that kind of gooey romanticism is completely fine by me.", "ANGELA: We know, Hodgins.", "WENDELL: I'm not really the public display kind of guy.", "HODGINS: I'm just saying you don't need to be afraid or...", "(Wendell kisses Angela. Sweets notices and stares.)", "HODGINS: There. See? My head did not explode.", "ANGELA: Um, I'm not really okay with being kissed when it's not about me.", "WENDELL: Sorry. Panicked, but everything's fine, right? Everything's fine.", "(Sweets approaches.)", "SWEETS: Everything's not fine. This is a fraught situation. It's important to face these things head-on.", "HODGINS: Sweets, there's nothing to face, okay? I mean, we can see why you'd think that but we're all fine.", "ANGELA: I am fine, fine.", "WAITRESS: Lance, your order's ready.", "SWEETS: Thanks. (Grabs sack of food and leaves.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Desert in Roswell, New Mexico)", "MARVIN: Why are we here?", "BRENNAN: We want to know what brought you out here the night you found Ursula's body.", "MARVIN: I told you, I was out UFO spotting.", "BOOTH: And I told you I don't believe in that big of a coincidence. How long were you and Ursula lovers? (Holds up a picture) Go ahead, take a look.", "MARVIN: (looking at the picture) Oh, my god. Ursula understood. She believed. My wife thought I was crazy.", "BOOTH: What makes this patch of desert any different to you than any other patch of desert?", "MARVIN: This is where we were when we first saw the lights.", "BRENNAN: Where did you see the lights?", "MARVIN: Beyond those hills. (Points) Hot spheres, very clear. Ursula and I saw them together.", "BOOTH: How far?", "MARVIN: Maybe two kilometers.", "BRENNAN: That would be Mexico.", "MARVIN: We were going to check it out together next time I came through town. We'd meet every few weeks.", "BOOTH: So you and Ursula were true believers.", "MARVIN: Not really. Ursula, she was convinced that if she could find proof of alien visitation, it would make her rich.", "BOOTH: What happened to her, Marvin? Really. What do you think?", "MARVIN: I think she came out here without me. Maybe she thought I wanted half her money. She maybe saw the lights and crossed over and they took her, experimented on her and then dumped Ursula in the desert like the cold, heartless scientists that they are.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)", "ANGELA: So the footage was pretty rough as you saw, so I ran an application to counteract the motion of the camera with opposite movement. Then I translated each pixel of the infrared spectrum into a pixel of the visible color spectrum.", "CAM: Okay, let's see it.", "(Video plays.)", "CAM: Well that's a lot more terrestrial than I expected.", "HODGINS: Two tanker trucks, some sort of digger.", "CAM: And this is a hose. What do you think, three inches? That's the source of the glowing liquid.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but what about the alien things?", "HODGINS: Fremontodendron mexicanum. It's Mexican flannelbush.", "CAM: Weird, glowing liquid in the Mexico desert. Hazmat suits.", "HODGINS: Whoa! They must've been dumping chemicals illegally.", "CAM: Oop, she fell. That must've been where she fractured her knees.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but she still managed to get away. You guys see what happened? She was out looking for UFOs, but found this instead. These guys killed her.", "ANGELA: You know, I think I liked this all better when it was aliens.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Act IV", "(Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Hodgin's Office.)", "HODGINS: So I was able to clarify the chemiluminescent signature of the materials being dumped in the video. Manganese and sodium borohydride. Used in the manufacture of batteries.", "CAM: Can you get a specific manufacturer from that?", "HODGINS: I did. Innatron. Mexican flannelbush is on the verge of extinction, right? Innatron has a plant located smack-dab in the middle of the last remaining flannelbush population here in Juarez and they use manganese and sodium borohydride.", "CAM: Wow.", "HODGINS: Hmm.", "(Cam leaves and Hodgins sees Wendell and Angela joking around outside of the office.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: FBI - Sweets' Office. Hodgins walks in.)", "SWEETS: Dr. Hodgins, I'm kind of in the middle of...", "HODGINS: You were right, Sweets. Everything is not fine. (Sits on the couch and then lays down) It's not fine at all.", "SWEETS: This is a good time.", "HODGINS: Don't know if I want to crawl into a hole and die or run over Wendell and Angela with a truck.", "SWEETS: You know, it's natural to have those feelings.", "HODGINS: But I'm a better man than this. I mean, I want to be happy for them. You know, I really do.", "SWEETS: Well, it's easier for us to accept loneliness as long as the person we were once with is also alone.", "HODGINS: When she finds happiness with someone else, oh, man, it's like being stabbed in the heart.", "SWEETS: It's the human condition. You know, it's why there are so many movies and plays and songs and poems.", "HODGINS: Yeah, yeah, art, art. (Sits up) I get it. What do I do?", "SWEETS: Well, first, you need to figure out what you want.", "HODGINS: I want to not be filled with anger and pain and resentment. I don't want to be jealous.", "SWEETS: Do you want Angela back? I don't think you're jealous. (Gets up and sits next to Hodgins on the couch.) I think that you're grieving what you've lost.", "HODGINS: Grieving? As in grief?", "SWEETS: Yes.", "HODGINS: Oh, man, the only thing that cures grief is time. Unless you're recommending a lot of alcohol.", "SWEETS: I can't really recommend alcohol.", "HODGINS: Man, that'd be great if you could, though, right?", "SWEETS: I recommend time.", "HODGINS: So, just smile and act like a good guy?", "SWEETS: You are a good guy.", "HODGINS: You know, there was a time that I thought Angela and I would be together forever. Can I just sit here for a minute?", "SWEETS: Yeah, take all the time you need. (Pats Hodgins on the shoulder and sits there with him.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)", "CAM: There is nothing in this video that indicates what kind of weapon was used to kill the victim.", "ANGELA: Yeah, it's true. It doesn't look like anybody's armed. Now, I was able to salvage some of the audio track.", "CAM: That's just white noise.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I know, but I scrubbed the background and separated the different frequencies, and then I amplified the resulting file.", "VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada. Y si no lo terminas antes del amanecer te arrepentiras.", "CAM: That's Spanish.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I know. We're gonna have to get a translator.", "CAM: No, I was a cop and coroner in New York City, so I speak some. Can you play that back?", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada. Y si no lo terminas antes del amanecer te arrepentiras.", "CAM: \"I'm in charge. If you don't get this done before sunrise, you'll regret it.\"", "VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada.", "CAM: She's not from Mexico, though.", "ANGELA: You can tell that?", "CAM: The way she says \"estoy\" and \"arrepentiras.\" The Puerto Rican cops used to make fun of me when I pronounced my \"T\"s and \"P\"s like that.", "ANGELA: So you think that...", "CAM: Yeah. The speaker is definitely American.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)", "BOOTH: Ursula thought she was filming a UFO crash site?", "BRENNAN: But she ended up with footage of an American dumping toxic waste in the Mexican desert. (opens a folder) Rachel Adams.", "BOOTH: American?", "BRENNAN: Yes. She's an Innatron executive, in charge of waste management. She's based in Juarez, Mexico.", "BOOTH: African-American.", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Well, the other of the diner said that the victim was seen arguing with an African-American businesswoman.", "BRENNAN: Huh.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)", "HODGINS: So we put together a range of weapons which might fire ball bearings at a velocity congruent with the damage done to the inside of our victim's skull.", "WENDELL: Okay, we have a paintball gun, an air rifle, a BB gun, and a PVC pipe zip gun.", "(They walk into a lab room with the guns pointed at melons with Hodgin's, Wendell's, Angela's and Cam's face on them.)", "WENDELL: Each modified to fire six 17.5-millimeter ball bearings. Melons lined with paraffin and filled with dense agar gelatin which mimics skull and brain matter.", "CAM: What's with the faces?", "HODGINS: Uh, yeah, we, um, well, I guess I kind of got inspired.", "CAM: Inspired?", "HODGINS: All right, goggles, everyone.", "(Wendell and Hodgins start the experiment.)", "HODGINS: All right, okay. So the paintball gun bearing didn't have enough force to get through my skull.", "ANGELA: That's too bad.", "WENDELL: I'm next!", "HODGINS: Uh, uh! I'll shoot you. Whoa! That was way too much damage. That blew your head clear off.", "CAM: I don't know if anyone should enjoy their work this much.", "ANGELA: Mmm.", "WENDELL: You and Dr. Saroyan are still in the running.", "HODGINS: Oh, I got it.", "WENDELL: (examining a melon) Not enough force to kill Dr. Saroyan. Whoa! Angela, the balls are rattling but your head is still intact!", "ANGELA: Call that thing by my name one more time. I dare you.", "HODGINS: It was a zip gun.", "WENDELL: A perfect, untraceable, cheap weapon, easily homemade.", "HODGINS: That was fun.", "ANGELA: Boys.", "CAM: You got that right.", "(Cam and Angela leaves. Hodgins laughs and Wendell leaves.)", "HODGINS: Wanna do it again?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Innatron HQ in Juarez, Mexico - Exterior)", "ADAMS: I have an appointment, Agent Booth. I don't have to answer your questions. We follow all of the rules set forth by the EPA and environmental restrictions in the NAFTA treaty.", "BOOTH: Right. On paper.", "ADAMS: I resent that.", "BOOTH: We have witnesses at Roswell who said that they saw you arguing with the witness on the day that she was murdered.", "ADAMS: Did your witness tell you what we were arguing about?", "BRENNAN: (pulls out a laptop and plays the video that Angela worked on) You were trying to buy video footage Ursula had taken of you illegally dumping toxic waste.", "BOOTH: She thought she had real footage of a UFO, so unfortunately for you, she didn't give it up.", "ADAMS: I work for a major corporation that's just signed a billion dollar deal with the Mexicans. You think you can extradite me? Take your best shot.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)", "BRENNAN: Here comes something.", "BOOTH: What's it say?", "BRENNAN: It says that Innatron contracts its waste disposal to an independent contractor.", "BOOTH: Is it owned by a shell company?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. North Domesticas, yes.", "BOOTH: Well, you know, we'll get D. C. on it, but I'm going to tell you right now. I already know who owns that shell company.", "BRENNAN: Rachel Adams?", "BOOTH: Yep. Innatron pays the shell company hundreds and thousands of dollars to get rid of the waste and Rachel and her crew, they just dump it in the desert and pocket the money.", "BRENNAN: Well, Ursula Lapine thinks she's photographing extraterrestrial contact, they catch her, she ends up dead.", "BOOTH: Well, why would she turn down the money in the diner and then agree to meet out in the desert?", "BRENNAN: Perhaps that's where they agreed to swap the video for the money.", "BOOTH: I guess.", "BRENNAN: Oh, you say \"Yeah, I guess,\" but you mean, \"I don't think so.\"", "BOOTH: Rachel lives in Juarez. I mean, she could get herself an untraceable gun, what, in like 15 minutes? Instead she shows up with a homemade zip gun? That doesn't make sense. Right?", "(Brennan calls Hodgins, in his office.)", "HODGINS: Hodgins.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins...", "HODGINS: Oh, hey, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: No, Hodgins, it's not me, it's Booth.", "BOOTH: Okay, Hodgins, could we just focus on the ball bearings.", "HODGINS: Yeah, what about them?", "BOOTH: Could you trace them in Innatron?", "HODGINS: No.", "BRENNAN: Well, how can you be so sure?", "HODGINS: Because they're obsolete. They were manufactured in the '40s and the '50s", "BOOTH: For what?", "HODGINS: Roller skates, fishing reels, yo-yos, turntables...", "BRENNAN: Toys?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Space Place Café, Booth and Brennan walk in with Bonds.)", "MILLER: Hey, I'm just closing up. I turned off the grill about a half an hour ago.", "BOOTH: Oh, we, uh.", "BONDS: No, were not here to eat, Blaine.", "BOOTH: Any of these work back here?", "MILLER: Yeah. The disruptor there from Gamma-Gamma six.", "BRENNAN: Why isn't this solar system working?", "MILLER: 'Cause it's sixty years old. What is with you people?", "BOOTH: Well, we, uh.", "BONDS: You overheard Rachel offering Ursula payoff money, didn't you, Blaine?", "MILLER: What? No. I didn't.", "BRENNAN: You told us you had to ask them to keep it down.", "BOOTH: (to Bonds) How come you don't interrupt Bones?", "BONDS: I'm a gentleman.", "BOOTH: How much did you...", "BONDS: How much did Rachel offer? Ten grand? 20? But Ursula thought that she had proof of alien life. How much did she ask for? A million bucks?", "(Brennan takes a knife and starts unscrewing a screw in the solar system model.)", "MILLER: Hey, you just can't take stuff like that. You need a warrant.", "BOOTH: I'll get a warrant.", "BONDS: Oh, no, no, no. We don't need a warrant. We're just playing. Yeah, like the sign says.", "(Sign reads: play all you want, but you break it, you buy it.)", "BONDS: I figure what happens is you told Ursula you could get her millions.", "BOOTH: You arranged to...", "BONDS: Yeah, you arranged to meet out in the desert, told her to bring the video, you'd bring the buyer.", "BRENNAN: He's trying to take your credit.", "BOOTH: Eh, he's just being talkative. Can you hand me those ball bearings there, will you? (puts ball bearings into a toy gun) Look at that, they seem to fit perfectly.", "MILLER: Come on, that's just a toy. You couldn't hurt a flea with that.", "(Booth aims at the gumball machine and shoots. Gumballs go flying.)", "BRENNAN: Yes, that would be the murder weapon.", "MILLER: Hey, hey, I got my rights.", "BONDS: You got the right to shut the hell up, Blaine. Killing that poor, crazy woman for her video. Yeah, by the way, that video, it was hit down her throat on a thread of dental floss, you moron.", "(Bonds takes away Miller in cuffs.)", "BRENNAN: He is a moron. You are definitely a moron! Well, not literally, figuratively. It's very satisfying to use an insulting colloquialism even when it isn't accurate.", "BOOTH: Right. It's even better when they resist arrest and you get to hit them.", "BRENNAN: I don't know.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I think so.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers - Interior)", "ANGELA: So, do you feel better?", "WENDELL: Being open about our relationship? Yeah, yeah, you bet.", "ANGELA: You know, it's over between Hodgins and me. I mean, you believe that now, right?", "WENDELL: I think everything is always more complicated than it looks.", "ANGELA: I am telling you, mister, it's not.", "WENDELL: Like Dr. Brennan says, no use jumping to conclusions before all the evidence is in.", "(They kiss. Hodgins is walking outside and he sees them at the bar together.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Roswell, New Mexico. Booth and Brennan are sitting on top of the car, looking up at the night sky.)", "BOOTH: Quite a show, huh?", "BRENNAN: Shouldn't we get going home?", "BOOTH: Come on, Bones, how many times do you get a chance to check out a desert sky?", "BRENNAN: I've been in the desert many times. Though, usually I'm digging in the ground, not looking up.", "BOOTH: now's your chance to look up. So, look up.", "BRENNAN: it's ridiculous to think there's anything on this planet worth seeing which merits crossing what are literally astronomical distances.", "BOOTH: Many aliens are anthropologists? Maybe they just wanna study our religion and s*x and love and our funny languages and line dancing?", "BRENNAN: That's an interesting possibility I hadn't considered.", "BOOTH: Well, living creatures, they like to reach out, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Living creatures like to reach out and eat each other.", "BOOTH: Oh. So, what are you saying, that the aliens just wanna come down here and drink our spinal fluid?", "BRENNAN: Well, if the aliens are advanced enough to fly faster than light, then they can probably make spinal fluid.", "BOOTH: Oh, you just said that aliens are nice.", "BRENNAN: I did not.", "BOOTH: You just basically said that aliens are nice anthropologists.", "BRENNAN: I don't think so.", "BOOTH: You think the aliens are you.", "BRENNAN: (laughs) You got me. You know, I'm one of them.", "BOOTH: I knew it.", "BRENNAN: I was sent down as an advance scout.", "BOOTH: I knew it! No probing. No probing!", "BRENNAN: Hey, probing is a valuable way to gather information.", "BOOTH: We know how you people like to probe. Did you hear that?", "BRENNAN: What was it?", "END.", "End." ]

[ "The Jeffersonian lab is put on lock down by mysterious government agents led by Mr. White ( Richard T. Jones ) when they demand Brennan and her team identify of cause of death for a highly classified set of remains. The team eventually come to believe the set of remains they are working on are actually that of assassinated President John F. Kennedy . Cam finds a positive pregnancy test in the woman's bathroom and after all the women deny it is theirs, she believes it might be Michelle's (Cam's adopted daughter). After, Angela confesses to Cam that it was actually hers, but did not want anyone else to know. In the interim, Cam had it tested again, and reveals to Angela that it was a false positive , meaning she is not pregnant." ]

[ "TEASER", "(Open: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth and Brennan are staring at a piece of pizza.)", "BOOTH: It's clear as a photograph. You don't see anything in the cheese? Nothing. You don't see anything", "BRENNAN: Seeing patterns, where none exist is the symptom of Schizophrenia. (Looking closer at the pizza) Why, what do you see?", "BOOTH: Michael Jackson doing his.. (he does a Michael Jackson impersation)", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that is.", "BOOTH: Come on, you..you don't see anything? It's like a kid, when he looks up at the sky and he sees the clouds, and the...", "BRENNAN: Oh, I get it. Yes. Your mind forms patterns from random information. Um, Booth, I have a lot of work.", "BOOTH: Right, no. I..I just wanted to bring by the pizza so you could eat. It's important that you eat. I will, uh...(he walks off but starts dancing like Michael Jackson)...see you Monday? (Brennan shakes her head. She still has no clue) Nothing? Come on. King of Pop? This Is It? \"Thriller?\" No? All right, I'll see you Monday.", "(He Moon Walks out of the office)", "BRENNAN: Bye, Booth.", "BOOTH: Yep.", "(Booth leaves. A few seconds later, Cam enters)", "CAM: Strange question - I know - but I gotta to ask: are you by any chance pregnant?", "BRENNAN: No. I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.", "CAM: Do you want to know why I'm asking?", "BRENNAN: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.", "CAM: No. Very modest. Uh, I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon, and the only other two people, besides me, that use that bathroom are you and Angela.", "BRENNAN: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.", "CAM: Very true.", "BRENNAN: With Wendell.", "CAM: Very, very active.", "BRENNAN: And even if they used condoms, Wendell is young. His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.", "CAM: You are so cheering me up right now.", "(Cam leaves and starts heading to Angela's office but is cut off by Sweets)", "SWEETS: Dr. Saroyan, I was hoping I could pick up those, uh, Strength Deployment Inventory results from you.", "CAM: Ooooh.", "SWEETS: You didn't hand them out.", "CAM: I was going to, but there was...real work that needed doing. Next week, for sure.", "SWEETS: Okay, but these aptitude tests will help you as an administrator to put the right people in key positions...(Cam is walking away, trying to hide the pregnancy test) You're not listening to me, are you?", "CAM: No offense intended. (She turns around an leaves and walks into Angela's office) Angela, quick question. Uh, is this your home pregnancy test?", "ANGELA: (laughs) I beg your pardon?", "CAM: Are you pregnant? Please say yes. (Cam realizes that someone else is in the room and turns around and sees Hodgins) Oh.", "HODGINS: Hey. Don't look at me.", "CAM: I'm so sorry. I thought we were alone.", "HODGINS: Hey, you...you don't have to keep it a secret from me. If, you know, you're pregnant. I mean, I can be happy for you and Wendell.", "ANGELA: Wait a minute. Why are you asking me?", "CAM: Well, it isn't mine and Dr. Brennan doesn't make life choices without a Boolean flowchart, so I hoped it might be you. I'm not crazy. I'm not... crazy.", "(Cam leaves.)", "HODGINS: What was that all about?", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, what makes Cam crazy?", "HODGINS: When I do experiments.", "ANGELA: And...", "HODGINS: Michelle?", "ANGELA: Michelle.", "HODGINS: Ooh. Sixteen. Ouch.", "(Cut to: Cam walking out of Angela's office. Sweets is standing by the door with men in suits.)", "SWEETS: Really? Cam, these guys won't let me leave.", "CAM: What's going on?", "(Another man enters through the main doors of the Lab)", "MR. WHITE: Everyone in this facility is confined to this facility.", "(Behind him, a gurney rolls in.)", "CAM: I'm in charge of this facility.", "MR. WHITE: Not tonight, Dr. Saroyan. (to the Suits) Please secure the exits.", "SWEETS: Who are you guys?", "MR. WHITE: I am Mr. White from the General Services Administration.", "CAM: The people we order paper cups and pencils from?", "(They lock up the door and the Suites try to access the platform. Brennan enters from around the corner)", "BRENNAN: What's going on?", "MR. WHITE: Ah, Dr. Brennan. Hello. Your government requires you to figure out how this person died. Until you do, we are all locked in here together as a matter of national security.", "SWEETS: Even me?", "CAM: He's just an FBI psychologist.", "MR. WHITE: No one in, no one out. By order of the federal government. Now, you have till dawn tomorrow to fulfill this task.", "SWEETS: What possible incentive do these people have to comply with your orders?", "MR. WHITE: Perhaps the fact that you're all paid by the federal government.", "CAM: Threats are not really gonna work for you tonight.", "MR. WHITE: Okay, fine. How about patriotism? Professionalism? Scientific curiosity. Take your pick. But the sooner you people figure out what killed this individual, the sooner life gets back to normal.", "(Opening Credits)", "(Cut between the hallways of the Medico Legal Lab. We hear Booth's voice on the phone. He's at the Royal Diner, sitting at the counter, eating. Sweets is at the Lab, trying to be quiet)", "BOOTH: (on phone) What do you want, Sweets? Working out, building up a sweat.", "SWEETS: (on phone) Booth, I'm in the lab.", "BOOTH: Why are you whispering?", "SWEETS: A bunch of government guys came in. They sealed the place up. They brought in a body. They won't let anyone come or leave.", "BOOTH: What...Slow..slow down. What government guys?", "SWEETS: They said they're from the General Services Administration.", "BOOTH: Uh, whoa.", "SWEETS: They're supposed to be in charge of promoting efficient government operations, like leasing office space and buying paper in bulk. It doesn't make any sense.", "BOOTH: Who else is there?", "SWEETS: Uh, Doctors Brennan, Saroyan, Hodgins, Angela, and me.", "BOOTH: So they knew to come when the techs were gone for the weekend.", "SWEETS: Why won't they let me leave? I'm a psychologist.", "BOOTH: Alright, look, I'll look into it.", "(Booth hangs up)", "SWEETS: What should I do? Booth? No!", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Cam opens the casket to reveal a skeleton)", "MR. WHITE: No destructive testing is allowed, not even the smallest sample. These remains will leave in exactly the condition in which they arrived. My men and I will observe and no one enters or leaves the premises.", "CAM: Now that you've kidnapped my lab and my people, maybe you could tell me why.", "MR. WHITE: You have not been kidnapped, Doctor. You've been seconded by your government to do your patriotic duty.", "BRENNAN: Your \"no samples\" restriction will severely limit our insights.", "MR. WHITE: We require only cause of death. There are a number of samples in here which you may examine but, they too, must not be harmed. (He gets a text message: \"We have detained Agent Booth\") Identification of these remains is priority zero. Excuse me.", "(Mr. White leaves)", "CAM: Is there any way I could just persuade you to look at these and guess cause of death?", "BRENNAN: Guess?", "CAM: I need to get home to kill Michelle.", "(They start to take the bones out and place them on the gurney)", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Parking Garage. Booth is with the Suites.)", "BOOTH: So any of you guys, you like hockey? No? Ah, knitting. Modern dance? Ultimate fighting? Huh? Saw a flicker from you, pal. I got you pegged.Mr. Ultimate Fighter here. (Mr. White arrives) Oh, look at this. It's the chief.", "MR. WHITE: FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth.", "BOOTH: That's right. I showed you mine. You want to show me yours?", "MR. WHITE: You can call me Mr. White.", "BOOTH: Right, from the General Services Administration. So, why'd you lock up my people?", "MR. WHITE: That information's classified and they're not actually your people.", "BOOTH: I want to go inside.", "MR. WHITE: That's not gonna happen.", "BOOTH: You timed this, didn't you? So I wasn't in there.", "MR. WHITE: Do you need help getting home?", "(They have a slight stand-off, but Booth decides to go)", "BOOTH: (to one of the Suits) This guy, look at him, huh? Definitely water polo. Thanks for that.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Sweets, Hodgins & Angela are sitting on the couch. The phone rings - it's Booth.)", "SWEETS: Booth, you find out anything?", "BOOTH: Listen, can you talk? Is anyone else there?", "SWEETS: Only the good guys.", "BOOTH: All right, put me on speaker.", "ANGELA: Hey, uh, this is weird, Booth.", "HODGINS: How do we know these guys aren't terrorists?", "BOOTH: All right, look, they're not terrorists, okay? They're standard federal issue agents.", "SWEETS: Why would the General Services Administration bring in a body?", "HODGINS: Standard federal issue cover-up.", "ANGELA: This is the first time I have ever been as paranoid as Hodgins.", "BOOTH: You're FBI property. If anyone's gonna lock you up, it's gonna be me.", "HODGINS: Why are these guys letting us use cell phones?", "BOOTH: Why? Because whatever they're doing, these guys think they're untouchable.", "(Booth gets in his car. Hodgins, Angela & Sweets slump back against the couch cushions)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform)", "BRENNAN: Male, from the subpubic angle. Last phase development at costochondral junctions.", "CAM: Older than 39 at the time of death.", "BRENNAN: This L4 vertebra shows evidence of having been badly compressed.", "CAM: Youch. Not even two-thirds normal size. Poor guy was in agony.", "BRENNAN: Spinal degeneration, osteoporosis.", "CAM: Disease, steroids. Hard to tell what caused it without doing a bone sample.", "BRENNAN: Bone graft. Looks like, um, a repair to a screw hole.", "CAM: Huh. I count three. Metal plates?", "BRENNAN: Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.", "CAM: Which could help us positively identify these remains.", "BRENNAN: No, Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.", "CAM: I'm not as good as you are at doing what I'm told.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. We can't check DNA or take bone scrapings for mass spec. (she opens up a suitcase with samples in it) Samples, particulates..these should go to Hodgins.", "CAM: Fire in the hole. (screaming) Hodgins!", "BRENNAN: Oh.You said \"fire in the hole\" to warn me that you intended on startling those men.", "CAM: Like I said, I'm not really the good soldier type.", "BRENNAN: Calcification on the left radius.", "CAM: Could I suggest that cause of death probably won't be found in the extremities. Check out this skull.", "BRENNAN: Well, that would certainly be fatal.", "CAM: Blunt-force trauma?", "BRENNAN: Or high-velocity gunshot.", "HODGINS: Was that you? Ah, who knew you could yell like that?", "BRENNAN: Well, she scared the guards.", "HODGINS: I find that so hot.", "CAM: (to Hodgins, pointing to the case) That's all for you. (to Brennan) There are very distinctive marks on the remaining frontal bone.", "BRENNAN: Like a metal grid scratched across it postmortem.", "CAM: No tests that degrade the samples. (changing the subject) I'm too young to be a grandmother.", "BRENNAN: In some cultures, you're old enough to be a great-grandmother.", "HODGINS: But not this one.", "BRENNAN: I've been cogitating on the problem of how to date these bones without compromising them. 'll take one and compare it to dated bones.", "(She slips one of the small bones into her pocket and then runs off the platform, but is stopped by Mr.White)", "MR. WHITE: Dr. Brennan? Where are you going?", "BRENNAN: To bone storage. It's in the basement.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Andrew and Booth are sitting at the counter.)", "HACKER: So, this guy's Government Service Administration ID said, \"Mr. White.\"", "BOOTH: That's it.", "HACKER: You recognize him?", "BOOTH: No.", "HACKER: God, I hate these covert guys.", "BOOTH: Right. I'm going in.", "HACKER: No, no, no. You aren't.", "BOOTH: Why?", "HACKER: It's unprofessional in terms of interagency cooperation.", "BOOTH: Huh?", "HACKER: I said it like that so you'd know I wasn't serious.", "BOOTH: Right. So you're going to help me.", "HACKER: What? Are you serious?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "HACKER: No!", "BOOTH: Why?", "HACKER: Not stopping you is not the same as helping you. But I will help after, when you're in some nonexistent CIA prison, whatever.", "BOOTH: Yeah, okay. Thanks for the support.", "HACKER: Mm-hmm. Hey. There's a reason I'm the boss when you're plainly the better FBI agent.", "BOOTH: I'll note that.", "HACKER: You know, I'll poke around for some answers. See if I can muddy the waters a little bit.", "BOOTH: All right. Okay. Thanks, boss.", "HACKER: Yeah. Hey, Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "HACKER: You mind telling me why it's so important you get in there?", "BOOTH: They're my people.", "HACKER: Oh, God. Now you're going to prove that you're a better man than I am, too? That you care more about your people? (Booth leaves and he sighs) How am I going to get anywhere with Temperance if you keep making me look bad in comparison?", "(Cut to: Outside the Royal Diner. Booth is on the phone with Sweets. Sweets is in the lab. Scene cuts back and forth.)", "BOOTH: Hey, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Hodgins says they're listening to everything we say to each other. Is that true?", "BOOTH: Forget about that.", "SWEETS: What? So just ignore it? Talk normally?", "BOOTH: Yeah, go ahead. Give it your best shot.", "SWEETS: Okay. Well, I made some observations. The big guys barely glance at each other but they're ready to respond as a unit easily. They've either been partnered up for years, or they've been through some pretty hairy situations together.", "BOOTH: Right. Right. So it's an active unit.", "SWEETS: Also, they don't respect Mr. White. When he's not looking, they flick their eyes toward each other.", "BOOTH: Right. They don't like working for him.", "SWEETS: Yes, exactly. But they treat the body on the gurney with great deference.", "BOOTH: Fallen comrade.", "SWEETS: That was my first thought.", "BOOTH: Attaboy, Sweets. Attaboy.", "(Mr. White appears around the corner at the Jeffersonian and runs into Sweets and closes his phone. He was listening in. Sweets turns and walks away)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Hodgins & Angela are examining the samples. )", "HODGINS: Who do you think we've got here? Jimmy Hoffa? There. Another cloth fiber. Wool.", "ANGELA: Well, it could be, like, D.B. Cooper, that hijacker. But we're not supposed to conjecture about the identity of the victim.", "HODGINS: No, we're not supposed to investigate. This is America, baby. We can conjecture all we want.", "ANGELA: Well, he does have a good brow line and nice, strong jaw. I mean, whoever he was, he was good-looking.", "HODGINS: You should do a reconstruction. (looks at the screen) Hair. It's probably human.", "ANGELA: Don't you think they're going to know what I'm doing?", "HODGINS: So what? Just tell them we need to see what the, you know, victim's skull looked like before the damage.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Hodgins is looking at the bones. Brennan & Cam join him on the platform)", "HODGINS: Did you find anything?", "BRENNAN: The victim died within months of the Limited Test Ban Treaty.", "HODGINS: That was in 1963.", "CAM: You look like you're about to explode.", "HODGINS: Is there, by any chance, a nick on a right rib somewhere near the third thoracic vertebra?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Um, most likely caused by a transiting bullet.", "CAM: Hodgins, you're vibrating.", "HODGINS: One of the fiber samples turned out to be pink wool. The bad back. A nick from a transiting bullet. 1963.", "CAM: Wait. Pink wool, as in Chanel?", "HODGINS: She never left his side.", "CAM: Severe head wound. Oh, my God.This - is President John F. Kennedy. Why would they bring us JFK's remains after all these years?", "HODGINS: Because people have a thirst for the truth. And other people want to make sure that truth is never proclaimed.", "CAM: Which are these?", "BRENNAN: Oh, I've been considering...in what kind of casket was the president buried?", "HODGINS: Mahogany.", "CAM: That's a good casket. How could his remains be completely skeletonized?", "BRENNAN: If the casket was compromised and allowed in oxygen and moisture, skeletonization could have occurred.", "HODGINS: It's naive of us to imagine that Kennedy's remains were actually ever interred at Arlington. The hair I found? No cuticle or cortex. It's synthetic. As it happens, after JFK was shot, the funeral home tried a cosmetic fix with wig hair, wax, and a metal mesh holding it in place.", "CAM: Ah! The mesh would explain the crisscross patterns on the skull.", "(Booth appears outside the glass doors and tries to open them with his hands)", "CAM: I can't confront Michelle about something this big over the telephone, right?", "BRENNAN: What? The fact that you may be investigating the murder of the president of the United States?", "CAM: No. The fact that she's pregnant.", "(Booth isn't making any headway so he tries a new tactic. He raises his gun and shoots - breaking the glass so that he can enter.)", "BRENNAN: Booth!", "BOOTH: Hiya, Bones.", "(The guards run at him and knock him down)", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Bones?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Upstairs Lounge Area. Booth is sitting on the couch with an ice pack on his head. Brennan joins him)", "BRENNAN: You all right?", "BOOTH: Yeah. You know, I can tell you. Those are a couple of big guys. Did you figure out who that guy is yet?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins and Cam are convinced that it's John F. Kennedy. The 35th president of the United States who was assassinated on November 22, 1963.", "BOOTH: I know who JFK is.", "BRENNAN: Also, Cam is certain that Michelle is pregnant.", "BOOTH: Usually, that would be big news but right now, it's not so much. It's JFK? Wait. Was Hodgins the first to say that it was JFK?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Then it's not JFK.", "BRENNAN: No. Hodgins is an excellent scientist.", "(Mr. White walks up)", "BOOTH: Hey, Mr. White.", "MR. WHITE: How'd you get past the guards?", "BOOTH: Uh, sniper training. It trained me how to walk really, really quietly.", "MR. WHITE: You are now restricted to the building, of course.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) Damn. Who saw that coming?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Cam is sitting at her desk, debating if she should call Michelle and confront her. Angela enters.)", "ANGELA: Awkward. Awkward. Very awkward.", "CAM: What's awkward?", "ANGELA: About Michelle...", "CAM: Oh, I'm going to call her right now and tell her that I need to talk to her as soon as I get out of here.", "ANGELA: About-about the pregnancy test?", "CAM: She lied to me. She told me to my facethat she wasn't having s*x with that boy. She lied to my face.", "ANGELA: It's my pregnancy test. (Cam is relieved) I'm - I'm sorry, Cam. I would have told you sooner but Hodgins was in the room, and...", "CAM: Oh, thank God. No. I mean...", "ANGELA: It's okay.", "CAM: You alright?", "ANGELA: Um, I'm a - I'm a bit in shock.", "Well, does Wendell know?", "ANGELA: No. No, no. Only you and I know and, I mean, really, shouldn't Wendell be the first to know? But I figured that you-you need to know.", "CAM: Because I was freaking out about Michelle. Thank you.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cat Walk. Booth is sitting and talking to Hacker on the phone.)", "BOOTH: Any luck finding out what's going on?", "HACKER: Nobody knows anything. Whatever this is, it's locked down pretty tight. Do you have any idea who these guys are?", "BOOTH: Well, they took me down in a classic Secret Service protocol.", "(Mr. White is listening in.)", "HACKER: Secret Service? Do yourself a favor. Don't tell any Reagan jokes or mention the Bush shoe incident. They get really mad.", "BOOTH: Right. You have any contacts inside the White House?", "HACKER: Of course I do. I'm extremely well-connected. I'm insulted you even asked that question. (he hangs up) Do I have any contacts in the White House?", "BOOTH: Great.", "(Mr. White watches Booth. Booth waves back. Mr. White is not amused.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela just told Hodgins that she's pregnant.)", "HODGINS: Oh. Wow.", "ANGELA: So, Wendell should be the first to know but you should be the second and since I told Cam, I-I should tell you.", "HODGINS: Do I say, \"Congratulations\"?", "ANGELA: I don't know. I mean, it's not the right time. It's not the right guy.", "HODGINS: Well, you know, Wendell, uh, he..He might rise to the occasion. I mean, you know, he's-he's a good guy.", "ANGELA: No, I didn't mean that. I mean...a baby. I mean, you're linked to that person for the rest of your life. Like, way more than if you're married. I mean, you're linked through another human being. A soul.", "HODGINS: Okay. I'm-I'm gonna say, \"Congratulations.\" Um, not for today but for how you're going to feel about this later on.", "ANGELA: Well, I might not even keep it.", "HODGINS: You're going to keep it, Angela. You always wanted kids. Lots of 'em. (there's a beeping noise.) I'm gonna go get the others.", "(Time lapse to a few minutes later in Angela's office. The gang's all there.)", "BOOTH: That is not JFK.", "HODGINS: Kennedy was on steroids to treat Addison's disease. That's what wrecked his back and adrenals.", "(Mr. White peers through the window and realizes what they're doing)", "CAM: Well, that would create a more Cushingoid appearance.", "MR. WHITE: You are not permitted to identify the victim.", "BRENNAN: In order to recreate what happened to the skull, we need to encase it in flesh.", "ANGELA: It's totally nondescript, as you can see.", "SWEETS: You know who I kind of see? Ricky Martin.", "HODGINS: Alex Trebek.", "CAM: James Garner.", "BRENNAN: I see Booth.", "BOOTH: You think that looks like me?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I do. I'll be in the bone room, looking at the actual skull.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Brennan is checking out the skull when Booth enters)", "BOOTH: Hey. So, if it was JFK, Angela's facial reconstruction would have shown us this, right?", "BRENNAN: No. Facial reconstructions are not photographs, Booth. There's a wide latitude for interpretation. There. (points to a part of the skull) This could be the point of entry. The semicircle is beveled, wider on the inside than the outside.", "BOOTH: That was the entry?", "BRENNAN: If-if the victim was shot from the rear, yes.The beveling is usually like an arrow, pointing toward the shooter. As to the exit, we're missing some skull fragments.", "BOOTH: Maybe they were held back on purpose.", "BRENNAN: Possibly, but it's much more likely they were pulverized and scattered by the bullet impact. Forensic techniques in the early '60s were relatively primitive.", "BOOTH: Check above the right temple on the skull or a fragment from there.", "BRENNAN: Ha! So suddenly you're an expert on ballistic forensics?", "BOOTH: That's where JFK's exit wound was.", "BRENNAN: Why do you know so much about the Kennedy assassination?", "BOOTH: Bones, I'm a trained sniper. How quickly you forget.", "BRENNAN: Well, well, you were right about the exit.", "BOOTH: Whew. Right. Well, it doesn't mean it's the president. I mean, people get shot in the head all the time, right?", "BRENNAN: That's true. Or perhaps Angela can re-create the situation under which this wound occurred.", "BOOTH: Or she could re-create JFK's shooting so we can rule him out, right?", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. The recreation of JFK's shooting is on the screen)", "ANGELA: I requested this animation from the Justice Department.", "BRENNAN: I found a right-rear entry with an exit in the right parietal region.", "HODGINS: Kennedy wounds exactly.", "ANGELA: Right. So his head went back and to the left.", "BOOTH: Look, heads do all sorts of crazy things when you shoot 'em.", "HODGINS: Since this is based on the official record, I can't believe it.", "BOOTH: Here we go.", "HODGINS: You think there's no way the president of the United States gets murdered in public in broad daylight and, and the truth gets covered up?", "BOOTH: That's right. It doesn't happen. This is America.", "HODGINS: The highest form of patriotism is to be skeptical of the official truth. That is why the First Amendment, free speech, is first in the Constitution you would die to protect. The lone gunman version isn't possible. The guy in front, John Connolly, gets shot 1.6 seconds after Kennedy", "BOOTH: It's a piece of cake.", "HODGINS: With a World War II Italian rifle that was older than Lee Harvey Oswald? Come on.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, but have you ever shot a rifle? If I had one of those guns right now, I'd show you right now.", "HODGINS: You're on.", "BRENNAN: No one is allowed to leave the Jeffersonian.", "HODGINS: No, we don't have to leave. I know exactly where to find an exact replica of the rifle here at the Jeffersonian.", "BOOTH: Great.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Booth, Hodgins & Sweets are talking.)", "HODGINS: Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle is in the Jeffersonian but the FBI used an exact replica to re-create the assassination. We've got that down in storage.", "SWEETS: But they said we have to stay in the lab area.", "HODGINS: The janitor's closet is in the lab area. Okay, all right, a couple years ago, right, I check out the claims of this conspiracy group that says that the Jeffersonian was a Masonic construction. (He pulls out a cloth map) They said that there was a passageway. Well, it turns out to be true. Check this out. There's a fake wall in the janitor's closet, covers a ladder.", "SWEETS: So, what? We just sneak in one by one? Hope they don't see us?", "HODGINS: Yeah. You got a better idea?", "BOOTH: Sounds good to me.", "(Sweets & Booth sneak into the janitors closet while Hodgins goes in, but comes out a mop to throw off Mr. White. He's been watching)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Storage Room.)", "SWEETS: So I, uh, used the fact that Mr. White was eavesdropping on us to sow the seeds of discord.", "BOOTH: What?!", "SWEETS: You know, I lodged in his subconscious that his men don't respect him.", "BOOTH: Sweets, these guys are pros. You didn't lodge anything or sow any seeds.", "SWEETS: Oh, wow. Hope Hodgins' map is accurate. Okay, so the JFK investigation stuff is over there. Okay, I'm gonna say something that's gonna make you think that I'm as paranoid as Hodgins.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "SWEETS: This feels like a test to me.", "BOOTH: Who's being tested?", "SWEETS: I don't know. The men in black suits? Dr. Brennan? Dr. Saroyan? You?", "BOOTH: Me?", "SWEETS: Yeah, maybe even me. I don't know. It just feels like a test. I can't be more specific. Is that it? \"01033.\" This is it.", "(They open the drawer and see the rifle)", "BOOTH: There it is.", "SWEETS: Is that the actual weapon?", "BOOTH: Yeah. It's a perfect replica made by the FBI.", "SWEETS: Perhaps the most hated weapon in United States history.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Area outside the Janitor's Closet. Hodgins is talking to Mr. White to distract him.)", "HODGINS: Uh, Mr. White? Yeah, I've done all I can do, so I'm gonna leave the premises.", "MR. WHITE: I'm sorry. That's impossible.", "HODGINS: Um... you can't stop me because I'm an American. So, I've got rights.", "(Booth & Sweets sneak out of the janitor's closet)", "MR. WHITE: I'd rather not hurt you.", "HODGINS: Hey, nice job with Bush and the whole flying shoe incident, by the way. I want to compliment you on that one.", "(Mr. White punches Hodgins in the back)", "BOOTH: Hey, you want to try me instead of some bigmouth scientist, huh? (Mr. White doesn't respond. He walks away) Yeah. I thought so. Come on. (he helps Hodgins up) That Bush comment? To him? You're lucky he didn't paralyze you for life. (Hodgins groans) Easy.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Cam & Brennan are examining the wounds.)", "CAM: Here's the entry wound close up.", "BRENNAN: Little circumcircular geometry.", "CAM: Perpendicular bisectors reveal the center. And our diameter is...", "BRENNAN: 6.5 millimeters.", "CAM: Same caliber as Oswald's rifle.", "(Booth enters)", "BOOTH: Hey, guys, guys, listen. I'm gonna need some science, uh, jibber jabber to distract these guys.", "BRENNAN: Oh, you know who can do jibber jabber?", "BOOTH: Who?", "BRENNAN: Me.", "BOOTH: Perfect. My lucky day. Come on. All right.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway.)", "MR. WHITE: You want my permission to shoot a cantaloupe?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "MR. WHITE: With my sidearm?", "BRENNAN: You took away Agent Booth's firearm.", "CAM: You want our best work? This is what we do.", "MR. WHITE: And this experiment is essential to cause of death?", "BRENNAN: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling, pertaining to the mid-sagittal plane, encelphalametric transaction or translation, if you will, of the intermatrix can be deduced by correlating the force/displacement values with the osteogenic, and geogenic, hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.", "MR. WHITE: Which is the cantaloupe.", "BRENNAN: You understand me perfectly.", "MR. WHITE: How many bullets?", "CAM: Just one.", "(Mr. White hands the cantaloupe to Brennan, takes out his gun and has it to Booth - with only one bullet in it.)", "MR. WHITE: We'll be watching.", "BOOTH: Bring your popcorn. (softly, to Brennan) Good work.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)", "SWEETS: I placed the rifle where Booth could get it.", "HODGINS: The president's limo was traveling approximately 4.5 meters per second.", "SWEETS: How fast is that?", "HODGINS: Ten, eleven miles per hour. Okay, so when the lights flash green, it'll be the correct speed and Booth can fire. (Booth is waiting, on the catwalk, pistol in hand, ready to fire) Ready?", "BOOTH: Go!", "(The girls are on the opposite of the catwalk. They all cover their ears. The machine starts moving and Booth quickly leans over and switches weapons. He now has the replica of the rifle in hand. The light turns green and he shoots both of the cantaloupes. The Men in black, who were watching from another part of the cat walk, are not amused.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room.)", "MR. WHITE: 20 minutes after this operation ends, your career in the federal law enforcement is over.", "CAM: Hey, Mr. White, enough.", "MR. WHITE: None of your results will survive. All this was for nothing.", "(Mr. White leaves and the group says nothing for a few minutes until...)", "HODGINS: (he enters some information into the computer) 1.6 seconds exactly.", "BOOTH: Case closed. Oswald could have made the shot.", "HODGINS: Booth, Oswald was a lousy shot. You're one of the best.", "SWEETS: Yeah, with none of the nerves that an actual assassin would experience.", "HODGINS: In the lab, no wind, no distractions, aiming at fruit. I mean, come on. You barely made the shot.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I hate to admit this, Booth, but Hodgins is making a pretty good point.", "BOOTH: All he's proving is, he made up his mind. Oswald shot Kennedy. We just proved that, okay? (He starts to head towards the door until...)", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Simple entry wound here. If you look closer, there are microfractures radiating from the exit wound which suggests, it wasn't an exit but an entrance.", "CAM: Reverse beveling.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, it's true. If this is another entry from a completely different angle, then logically, there was a second gunman.", "(Booth doesn't like what he's hearing and walks out. Brennan knows that somehow, she made him mad and goes off to find him.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth is sitting on the couch when Brennan enters.)", "BOOTH: Two shooters. You know what that proves to me?", "BRENNAN: Only that there were two shooters.", "BOOTH: No, that those remains were not John F. Kennedy.", "BRENNAN: Why is it so important to you that this not be President Kennedy?", "(She sits down next to him on the couch)", "BOOTH: If it was him, he was killed by two gunman.", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: And if he was killed by two gunmen, the the government lied; they covered it up.", "BRENNAN: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, this...does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a famous assassin?", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: John Wilkes Booth who killed President Lincoln.", "BOOTH: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me.", "(Booth is pissed. He gets up and walks out of her office. She follows him to the doorway)", "BRENNAN: No, you told me not to! (Booth's phone rings) I never promised! But I promise now! (She's crushed. She knows she hurt Booth.) I promise now!", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Booth is on the phone with Hacker.)", "BOOTH: So did you find anything?", "HACKER: Did you hear about this congressional committee that's trying to get permission to exhume JFK?", "BOOTH: Why the hell would anybody want to do that?", "HACKER: To see if modern forensic methods can tell us anything about the circumstances of his death.", "BOOTH: Well, Teddy Kennedy believed in the Warren Commission all the way up to the day he died.", "HACKER: Yeah and Bobby Kennedy was suspicious right up until the day he was assassinated.", "BOOTH: What does that have to do with our friends here in the black suits?", "HACKER: All I was able to find out is that there are parties very interested in the outcome of that congressional hearing. Booth, are you being held against your will?", "BOOTH: (scoffing) Come on. I can get out if I wanted to.", "HACKER: That's not the question I asked you. I asked you is an agent of the FBI being held by persons unknown against his will?", "BOOTH: Yeah, we all are.", "HACKER: Then I find, on behalf of the FBI, I'm annoyed by their arrogance.", "(Booth hangs up)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is running stuff on the computer when Hodgins enters.)", "ANGELA: Hey, uh, I'll have Brennan's analysis of the entry angles up in one second.", "HODGINS: Ange...", "ANGELA: Yeah?", "HODGINS: You're gonna have this baby.", "ANGELA: I don't know that yet.", "HODGINS: Yeah, well, when you do...I've been thinking.You're gonna try to raise this kid on your own.Wendell is a very decent guy...", "ANGELA: He's a great guy.", "HODGINS: I know. But he's a struggling grad student, and you're gonna minimize his responsibilities for his own good.", "ANGELA: Geez. Regular Nostradamus there, huh, Hodgins? Predicting the future?", "HODGINS: Says the woman who consults a psychic. My point is, I'm your guy.", "ANGELA: What?", "HODGINS: I'm your guy. I love you. I love you and I want to help you in whatever way I can. If-if you want to move in together, if-if you want to get married...I'm here for you. And for the baby. In whatever role you need. (Angela says nothing.) Okay.", "(He leaves her in the office)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)", "BRENNAN: There's calcification on the left radius.", "CAM: You keep returning to the victim's arm. The victim didn't die from a little calcification.", "SWEETS: Yeah, even I can tell that two bullets to the head probably did him in.", "CAM: You two don't understand: Booth is a very patriotic man. He believes this is the greatest country ever.", "BRENNAN: Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.", "SWEETS: It's naive to think that a country the size and influence of the U.S. doesn't pursue secret agendas.", "CAM: The Kennedy assassination wasn't a secret agenda. It was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot..for his country?", "BRENNAN: Approximately 50.", "SWEETS: Wow, that's a lot of blood to have on your hands. I mean, it's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.", "CAM: And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right. And who did he trust?", "SWEETS: The government.", "BRENNAN: (finally realizes) Oh.", "CAM: If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.", "(Mr. White joins them on the platform)", "MR. WHITE: Dr. Brennan. Dr. Saroyan. Your work is done. Thank you.", "BRENNAN: No, but we're not finished.", "MR. WHITE: The good news is, you all get to go home.", "CAM: Our results are inconclusive at best.", "BRENNAN: No. There's still unexplained calcification on a radius bone.", "MR. WHITE: In an hour, you'll find that this never happened.", "BRENNAN: But if you didn't want the truth, then what was this all for?", "MR. WHITE: I have no idea.", "BRENNAN: No, wait, wait. One more piece of analysis and we get the whole truth.", "MR. WHITE:The whole truth is not the point. Please, pack the remains up for transportation.", "CAM: Mr. White? For future reference, you might want to inform your bosses that we don't do half-truth here.", "(Mr. White leaves the platform)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is sitting at her desk when Cam enters.)", "ANGELA: Hey. (Cam hands Angela a piece of paper.) What is this?", "CAM: You aren't pregnant. When I thought it was Michelle, I retested the sample. I just got the results. It's a false positive.", "ANGELA: Uh, well, thank you for this.", "(Cam leaves. Angela looks a bit sad.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)", "BOOTH: So, you found cause of death. You think it's Kennedy. What's left?", "BRENNAN: There are loose ends.", "BOOTH: Well, how long is it going to take you to tidy up your loose ends here?", "CAM: The big man always comes through. Always.", "(Mr. White joins them)", "MR. WHITE: Those remains ready for transport?", "BOOTH: Yeah, there's a problem.", "CAM: (quietly, to Booth) What are you going to do?", "BOOTH: (quietly, to Brennan & Cam) I'm going to give you the time you need in order to find out the truth. (to Mr. White) Ah, Mr. White. How are you?", "(He shakes his hand, handcuffs him and then handcuffs him to the railing.)", "MR. WHITE: What are you doing, Agent Booth?!", "BOOTH: You know what, your job is to protect the president. My job is to solve murders.", "(Booth flips Mr. White over the railing and then starts running through the hallway, distracting the other Men in Black. Brennan sees an opportunity and grabs the two radius bones and make a run for it. Booth, meanwhile, trips up another one of the MIB and handcuffs him to a cart)", "BOOTH: (seeing another guy around the corner) Ho.", "MAN IN BLACK: What have you got, feeb?", "(Booth kicks him in the nuts and hand cuffs him to another bar.)", "BOOTH: Good old American classic on that one, pal.", "ANGELA: Oh. My. God.", "HODGINS: Man, you Butch Cassidy'd 'em.", "SWEETS: Oh, that was totally ninja. Maybe some anger issues there, but you kicked ass.", "(Hacker & his crew storm through the doors)", "HACKER: (via megaphone) Stand down and drop your weapons. This facility is officially under the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. (He realizes that Booth has already taken car of the situation and drops the megaphone, defeated.) Aw, man. Ten seconds earlier I would have been the hero, right? (waves) Booth.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. There are two containers with chocolate pudding in them. Booth enters while Brennan is placing the two radius bones on top of the pudding.)", "BRENNAN: Hi, Booth.", "BOOTH: Is that pudding?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I adjusted the specific gravity with a thickening agent to assure the test's efficacy.", "BOOTH: But pudding? (Brennan looks over at the pudding and her eyes light up) Whoa, something happened.", "BRENNAN: Yes. One of these bones sank and the other one floated.", "BOOTH: In the pudding?", "BRENNAN: Yes. The heavy bone is healthy. The one that's still floating is riddled with osteomyelitis. President John F. Kennedy never had osteomyelitis.", "BOOTH: (relieved) Come here.(he pulls her in for a hug)", "BRENNAN: Wow! (laughing) You really didn't want this to be JFK.", "BOOTH: You know, you kept looking because of me. Thanks, Bones.", "(Andrew and Mr. White enter the room)", "ANDREW: Um, I've been speaking with Mr. White here from the General Services Administration and we've come to the conclusion that any reports we all write should be carefully worded. As in, there shouldn't be any words in them.", "BOOTH: No words.", "ANDREW: No words. Hi, um, Temperance. You look great.", "BRENNAN: Thank you, Andrew. It's nice to see you again.", "ANDREW: Did Booth describe to you how I came crashing in through the front doors to rescue you?", "BRENNAN: No. I would have liked to have seen that.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Brennan, Booth, Sweets, Cam, Hodgins and Angela are all seated, in a row, at the counter.)", "BOOTH: You know, I was able to take those guys down because they were not working as a team. You want to know why? Because Sweets here was able to put a worm of doubt in Mr. White's brain.", "SWEETS: Thank you, Booth but I'm pretty sure that the whole thing was part of some kind of test.", "CAM: Who was being tested?", "HODGINS: It wasn't a test. It was the government trying to figure out if modern forensic analysis could solve the greatest mystery of all time.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but the victim turned out not to be Kennedy.", "HODGINS: What if the only part of Kennedy that wasn't Kennedy was that floating arm bone?", "BOOTH: Maybe I was being tested, you know, after my brain surgery.", "SWEETS: Or me.", "HODGINS: Come on, guys. If they were testing anybody, it's me. They think I'm a paranoid conspiracy theorist.", "CAM: Or maybe they were testing me to see if I could run a lab in a professional manner.", "ANGELA: Well, you do realize that all these tests? Everybody failed.", "BRENNAN: Not me. I figured out the truth.", "BOOTH: There's a congressional committee suggesting that Kennedy be exhumed.", "CAM: You mean we were some sort of dry run?", "HODGINS: And that's why we couldn't mark the bones.", "CAM: Except they weren't Kennedy's bones.", "(They all look towards Brennan - for final verification.)", "BRENNAN: No. They weren't Kennedy's bones.", "(Cut to: Street Outside the Royal Diner. Hodgins and Angela are leaving.)", "HODGINS: So, can I get you a cab?", "ANGELA: I'm not pregnant. It was a false positive.", "HODGINS: Oh, well, that must be a big relief.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "HODGINS: Everything goes back to normal. How it was before.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Yeah, but, um, I-I wanna...I want to thank you for...", "HODGINS: Nah. Hey, forget it.", "ANGELA: I'll never forget it.", "(They link arms and walk down the street. Together.)", "(Cut to: Outside the Royal Diner. Brennan and Cam are leaving.)", "CAM: Were you aware that JFK had scarlet fever in childhood?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins informed me of that fact, yes.", "CAM: Scarlet fever can cause osteomyelitis.", "BRENNAN: It's very rare, Cam. It can happen in approximately one in a hundred cases. It's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy.", "CAM: You're a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.", "(Cam walks away. A few seconds later, Sweets & Booth exit the diner and join Brennan.)", "SWEETS: Oh, I'm oddly energized. I should be exhausted, physically and emotionally, but I feel like I could work all day.", "BOOTH: Right, you should get home and get to sleep before you fall over, okay, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Okay.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Head to the pillow.", "SWEETS: I forgot where I parked my car.", "(Sweets walks off)", "BOOTH: Shall we?", "(He holds out his arm to Brennan, she links arms with him)", "BRENNAN: We shall.", "BOOTH: You know, you must think I'm crazy for being so happy that it wasn't JFK.", "BRENNAN: I'm very impressed. You wanted the truth, even if it was going to hurt you.", "BOOTH: I learned that from you.", "BRENNAN: Really?", "BOOTH: Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your brain over your gut.", "BRENNAN: That's nice. But I prefer that you always go with your brain over your gut because your gut cannot think.", "BOOTH: Your brain can't digest a breakfast burrito. Just saying, to each their own.", "BRENNAN: To each their own.", "BOOTH: Yep.", "(The camera moves to a television in a store window. Channel 8 News is on with Breaking News across the bottom of the screen. \"Breaking News: Congressional Committee denied motion to exhume President John F. Kennedy, citing 'respect for the family.'\")", "END." ]

[ "When a human skeleton is discovered in the trenches of an old Civil War battleground, Brennan and Booth are called to the case. Despite the historical location, Brennan quickly identifies the bones as belonging to Dan Pinard, a present-day local dentist. While Booth investigates suspects, including the victim's former boyfriend, Hodgins and lab intern Vincent Nigel-Murray work doggedly to clean the bones of a stubborn clay residue which is preventing the team from determining a cause of death. Meanwhile, Booth's brother, Jared, returns from his travels with some suprising news." ]

[ "TEASER", "(Fade in: Exterior -- Civil War reenactment site -- daytime. Soldiers walking about, riding horses, marching in formation. Indistinct conversation.)", "(Cut to: Two reenactors, Union soldier JASPER ALMAN and Confederate soldier DUVAL MILTOE, walking past a unit marching in formation.)", "ALMAN: Sayler's Creek was the beginning of the end for the South.", "MILTOE: We dug in and held you Yankees off for two days.", "ALMAN: Pfft. Which is why we live in the Confederate States of America, I guess, right?", "(Cut to: MILTOE digging a ditch in an old, dry creek bed as ALMAN stands by watching.)", "MILTOE: Our boys had set up a perimeter along this here creek. If we had been able to get supplies-...", "ALMAN: Oh, I hate to rub it in, Duvall, but you Rebels had more soldiers surrender at Farmville than in any other battle of the war. You could always switch sides, you know; join the winners.", "MILTOE: What the-... (brushes leaves away from what appears to be the bones of a leg)", "ALMAN: (kneeling to help clear debris; uncovers a hand) What is this?", "MILTOE: Oh, my God. Is that a dead soldier?", "(ALMAN continues to clear debris; uncovers a skull. Both reenactors jump up.)", "MILTOE: That's one of them Yankees we killed.", "ALMAN: Yankee? That's a... That's a Rebel Yell if I've ever seen one.", "MILTOE: He's screaming for his mother; that's how you can tell he's a Yankee.", "ALMAN: General Sheridan, we got a dead Rebel over here, sir.", "MILTOE: No, way. (calling out to nearby reenactors) Dead Yankee!", "ALMAN: Yes, we do! Dead Rebel!", "(Close up on the skull still buried in the ditch, as ALMAN and MILTOE continue to argue over the indistinct exclamations of gathering reenactors.)", "ALMAN (O.S.): Rebel!", "MILTOE (O.S.): Yankee!", "ALMAN (O.S.): Clearly a Rebel!", "MILTOE (O.S.): Clearly a Yankee!", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- SPECIAL AGENT SEELY BOOTH's office. BOOTH is doing paperwork as JARED BOOTH appears in the open doorway.)", "JARED: Is that work or Solitaire?", "BOOTH: Ha-ha, little brother; look at you. (BOOTH rounds his desk.) Hey!", "JARED: (enters the office and hugs BOOTH) How are you?", "BOOTH: Hey, good to see you. I thought you were biking across India.", "JARED: I was. You know what else? I survived.", "BOOTH: (returning to his chair) Survived.", "JARED: (laughs as they sit across from each other) I biked through Sikkim. I hiked to the top of Himachal Pradesh. I even learned a few dirty jokes in Hindi. You want to hear one?", "BOOTH: You didn't get yourself in any more trouble, did you?", "JARED: Not unless you count falling in love.", "BOOTH: Wow. Falling in love. Really? How?", "JARED: I was swimming with elephants in the Andaman Islands, when out of nowhere, Padme swan dives off a cliff, nearly killing both of us.", "BOOTH: Padme?", "JARED: Padme Dalaj. It's a beautiful name, right? Seely... I'm thinking of asking this girl to marry me.", "BOOTH: You... Congratulations. That's... (phone rings) I gotta get that; it's my special murder line.", "JARED: (laughs) Okay... You... You go ahead and save the world.", "BOOTH: All right, I'll...ah... I'll catch up with you later, okay?", "JARED: All right.", "BOOTH: Okay. (Answers phone as JARED exits the office.) Booth.", "(Cut to: Exterior -- Civil War reenactment site -- daytime. BOOTH and DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN are walking from their vehicle to the site of the recently discovered skeletal remains.)", "BOOTH: Jared's only known her for a month. One month.", "BRENNAN: Confederate soldiers at Farmville were so hungry, they scavenged seed and corn from horse excrement.", "BOOTH: Tasty. But, who marries someone after a month?", "BRENNAN: I thought you believed in love at first sight.", "BOOTH: Only in the movies, all right? And, not for Jared.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive at the ditch, where MILTOE and ALMAN are still standing.)", "BOOTH: Oh-ho! Look at this. What is with the red dirt?", "MILTOE: Well, the pine needles left behind tannic acid, which acts like red dye.", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Who are these guys?", "BRENNAN: (descending into the creek to look over the remains) Well, he's right. And, years of tobacco farming drained the land of nutrients.", "ALMAN: Which caused the topsoil to wash away, which left behind red clay.", "BRENNAN: You're better informed scientifically than your attire might suggest.", "MILTOE: Well, as amateur historians, we've studied this battle, the terrain, military maneuvers...", "BOOTH: You don't say?", "ALMAN: (to BRENNAN) Could you, by any chance, tell us if that's a fallen Union soldier, or a dead Rebel?", "BRENNAN: The angle of the jaw indicates male. Otherwise... (shaking her head) I can't tell anything until I get the remains back to the lab.", "BOOTH: (to the Crime Scene Technicians) All right, you know what? We're going to need a backhoe.", "BRENNAN: And a cement cutter.", "BOOTH: (to the Crime Scene Technicians) And a cement cutter. (to BRENNAN, O.S.) You really love the heavy machinery.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. BRENNAN, DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN, and VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY are on the platform discussing the body, still incased in a block of red clay.)", "BRENNAN: This trauma to the sternum is degraded. It's as though the bone demineralized over time.", "CAM: Maybe he got bayoneted, and then the clay leeched out the calcium.", "VINCENT: During the American Civil War, diseases such as typhoid fever, dysentery, and tuberculosis killed twice as many men as battle wounds.", "(BRENNAN begins reviewing x-rays on the computer.)", "CAM: That could be relevant.", "BRENNAN: It is not.", "CAM: Why?", "BRENNAN: This was not a Civil War casualty.", "VINCENT: Ah. Reconstructive surgery.", "BRENNAN: (points to the x-ray of an elbow joint) Titanium screws.", "VINCENT: Which were not introduced until the mid-60s. (quickly, after a look from CAM) Completely relevant to the matter at hand, I believe.", "(CAM begins looking over the block of clay with a flashlight.)", "BRENNAN: It's going to be very difficult to extract the remains from this clay without damaging the bones.", "VINCENT: Perhaps we could spray it with liquid nitrogen? Give it a short, sharp shock?", "BRENNAN: No, freezing the clay with gas would make the bones brittle and destroy evidence.", "VINCENT: But, as an idea...the fast-freezing option, it needed stating.", "(BRENNAN gives VINCENT a bemused look. CAM has focused her light on a crack in the side of the block of clay; a large number of small spiders begin crawling out. CAM screams and backs away quickly.)", "CAM: Whoa!", "BRENNAN: What...what happened?", "CAM: (pointing to the crack) Spiders. I don't like spiders, and...", "VINCENT: (sees the spiders) Oh.", "CAM: ...there are thousands of little spiders coming out of...", "VINCENT: I'll go get Hodgins. (runs off the platform)", "CAM: Uh... I really don't like spiders.", "BRENNAN: I don't mind them, actually.", "(Fade to: Opening Credits)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 1", "(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. DR. JACK HODGINS is vacuuming up the spiders, still crawling around the floor. VINCENT is examining the skull, while CAM is standing off to the side, clearly still intimidated by the spiders.)", "HODGINS: The spider eggs were on the body before it was encased in the clay. The heat in the lab caused the eggs to hatch, and when you shone your flashlight, they headed for the light.", "VINCENT: Based on mandibular dentition, the victim is late-20s, early-30s.", "CAM: Dr. Hodgins, I can...uh...still see one in his mouth.", "HODGINS: Yup. (vacuums the skull's mouth) These bad boys are Frontinella communis; they're non-poisonous.", "CAM: Yeah, still with those gross spider faces and legs, though...", "HODGINS: This spider's not found in the area where the body was discovered.", "(CAM begins scratching herself.)", "VINCENT: Indicating that the victim was probably offed elsewhere.", "CAM: Any idea how to...uh...remove the body from the sediment?", "HODGINS: Well, I mean, if we remove the moisture from the clay, then it should just fall away without affecting the bones, at all. I just need four dehumidifiers. (notices CAM scratching) You okay, there, Dr. Saroyan?", "CAM: Yeah, I'm just...itchy all over. I'm gonna go burn all of these clothes, and maybe my hair. (exits the platform)", "VINCENT: Some male spiders are known to actually...to pluck their webs like a guitar, to attract the females.", "HODGINS: Someone should tell them it's drummers that get the girls.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Founding Fathers -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Founding Fathers' dining room. JARED and PADME DALAJ are sitting at a table across from BOOTH.)", "PADME: We were in Bangalore visiting the Karnataka Belur Temple, when a pickpocket stole my wallet. Jared climbed onto the roof of a building and tackled the thief. (laughs)", "JARED: You know all that hero stuff? I learned it from my big brother. That, along with hotwiring a car and stealing cable.", "PADME: Jared's very proud of you.", "BOOTH: Yeah... What can I say? You know, it's normal big brother stuff, that's all. I'm amazed how good your English is: it's perfect.", "PADME: That happens when you grow up in Alexandria, Virginia. I'm third-generation American.", "BOOTH: Yes, you are. (to JARED) Thank you for setting me up and making me look like an idiot.", "JARED: Yeah, it's just normal little brother stuff.", "BOOTH: So, basically, you went all the way to India to meet a girl who lives down the street from you?", "JARED: Seely thinks every decision I make is wrong.", "PADME: (pacifying) Like you said, typical big brother.", "JARED: Yeah.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) So, what is it you do for a living, Padme?", "JARED: She's a bank robber.", "BOOTH: It's a normal question, you know? She's very glamorous; I thought maybe she worked at some glamorous job.", "PADME: Hardly; I teach grade school.", "JARED: Seely's got a kid in third grade. His name's Parker.", "PADME: There's no one named Parker at my school.", "JARED: She's the kids' favorite teacher, Seely. (kisses PADME)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT is working on the victim's teeth as BRENNAN enters onto the platform.)", "VINCENT: Phosphate and calcium have leaked from the bones into the clay in several places, making the bones softer and the clay harder.", "BRENNAN: I see you started with dentition.", "VINCENT: Interesting juxtaposition: Substandard dental work, but top-of-the-line materials. I thought that might help with identification.", "BRENNAN: I've seen that before in people who get their treatment for free at a dental school.", "VINCENT: Suggesting that the victim was poor.", "BRENNAN: Specious leap, Mr. Nigel-Murray. The hook of the hamate shows wear from torque, rotational force, and repeated tugging...", "VINCENT: (begins to speak, then thinks better of it) I only have inappropriate comments off the phrase \"repeated tugging.\"", "BRENNAN: These are occupational markers for many professions, including funeral directors, surgeons, dentists, mechanics...", "VINCENT: (catching BRENNAN's hint) A dentist would most likely have his dental work done by other students, while in dental school. That would explain the work on his teeth.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. Next, I'd like theories as to what might have caused the initial damage to the sternum.", "VINCENT: E-even though it's been severely degraded by demineralization?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "VINCENT: Okay. (BRENNAN begins to leave) I'll have to remove the rest of the clay, first. (quietly, to himself) Oh, I will get you to praise me, Dr. Brennan. I will have you look at me with admiration and astonishment at all-...", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry, Mr. Nigel-Murray; were you talking to me?", "VINCENT: No, Dr. Brennan, I was simply... I was running through my...uh...knowledge...of clay.", "(Cut to: Interior -- BOOTH's car -- daytime. BOOTH is driving BRENNAN to the victim's house.)", "BRENNAN: You think your brother's girlfriend is hinky? Is that slang for \"pretty\" or \"buxom?\"", "BOOTH: No, it's just slang for \"iffy.\"", "BRENNAN: Well, \"iffy\" is already slang. I don't see the need for slang for slang.", "BOOTH: Okay, look, the point is, there was just a...a hinky vibe between me and her. Look, you know what? I don't expect you to understand, Bones. The victim's dental records confirm his identity.", "BRENNAN: (takes a file folder from BOOTH and opens) Dan Pinard.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "BRENNAN: Dentist. Lives alone. Are they happy together?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Jared and Padme; do they seem happy? You've put a high premium on feelings.", "BOOTH: Don't go twisting this around, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Well, you used to think that people could find true love.", "BOOTH: I still do, okay? But, this is Jared, all right? He only just got sober.", "BRENNAN: Well, if he's sober, he should be able to find love. I don't understand the rules.", "BOOTH: Ah, there are no rules; there's just life, okay? There's just life.", "(Cut to: Exterior -- Dan Pinard's house -- daytime. BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive in the truck, pulling in the driveway full of paving stones and construction equipment. They exit the truck and approach the house.)", "BRENNAN: Big house for a single man.", "BOOTH: Looks like he's doing some serious remodeling, huh? Door's open. Hold on. (draws his gun as he approaches the front door)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Dan Pinard's house. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter the front door. There is the sound of a sports program on television emanating from nearby. They pass through the living room and dining room and enter the den, finding LUCAS PICKFORD sitting on the couch.)", "BOOTH: Hands up.", "PICKFORD: (stands quickly, hands raised) No, no, no. Okay. Okay, this is not what it looks like; I'm allowed to be here.", "BOOTH: Who are you?", "PICKFORD: Uh, Lucas Pickford. My-my Social Security number is three zero eight, one two-...", "BOOTH: Okay, Mr. Pickford, what are you doing here?", "PICKFORD: I'm Danny's contractor. I-I live over the garage. He said I could come in any time and use his TV.", "BRENNAN: (as BOOTH lowers his gun) Danny is dead.", "PICKFORD: He's dead? That's where he's been?", "BOOTH: Oh, that's right; he's been dead.", "PICKFORD: I thought he just...met someone. Danny once took off for three weeks and never said a word.", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Ah, big-screen TV, cold beer... I mean, it's not a great motive for murder, but I've seen people kill for less.", "PICKFORD: Why would I kill Danny? He-he owes me money. Like, three grand. You shouldn't be hassling me. You should talk to his ex; they had a bad breakup.", "BOOTH: Right. What's her name?", "PICKFORD: Chris. But...she's a him. I mean, it's a...Christopher Chris, not a Christine Chris. He rents a place on Dalgren Road.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT is cleaning the victim's bones with an electric tooth brush as CAM enters onto the platform and approaches.)", "CAM: There's no faster way to clean the skeleton?", "VINCENT: Oddly, no. Not in a localized fashion. Dr. Brennan seemed very anxious to get at the sternum. Uh, Dr. Saroyan, not to come across as in any way needy, but...have you ever seen Dr. Brennan, um, compliment or praise one of us interns?", "CAM: I wouldn't worry about praise, Mr. Nigel-Murray; strive for...mild approval.", "VINCENT: (nervous chuckle) Then, back to work I go. Heigh-ho, heigh-ho.", "CAM: Did you...clean the victim's teeth?", "VINCENT: A small sign of respect for a dentist.", "CAM: If you want praise, I'd concentrate on the sternum if I were you; something hit him there. Hard. Let's see if we can't figure out what that was and, uh, whether it killed him.", "VINCENT: Okay. (sighs loudly as CAM exits the platform)", "(Cut to: Exterior -- Chris Fife's house -- evening. BOOTH and BRENNAN are questioning CHRIS FIFE.)", "FIFE: I worked two jobs to put Dan through dental school. As soon as his practice was up and running, he dumped me.", "BOOTH: And since Virginia doesn't recognize gay marriage or civil unions, you weren't entitled to anything when he left you.", "FIFE: How is that fair?", "BRENNAN: It's not. I'm sorry to inform you that we have identified some human remains as Daniel Pinard.", "FIFE: Wait. Uh, Danny's dead?", "BOOTH: (after BRENNAN nods, answering the question) When was the last time you saw him?", "FIFE: I haven't heard from him, but... It's got to be a year.", "(BRENNAN notices a silver arrowhead stuck in the trunk of a tree and moves to investigate.)", "BOOTH: All right. Were you, uh... (watches BRENNAN walk away) Were you upset when he broke it off with you?", "FIFE: What?", "BOOTH: Well, like you said, you...you didn't have any legal options.", "FIFE: Not upset enough to kill. I moved on. I met someone after a couple months, and bygones are bygones, right? Is that everything now? Because, Danny was a part of my past, and like I said, I've moved on.", "(BRENNAN takes a glove from her bag and uses it to remove the arrowhead from the tree trunk.)", "BOOTH: Actually, no. I'd like to ask you, uh, quite a few more questions, if you don't mind.", "FIFE: I do mind, so, excuse me...", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah. (BRENNAN approaches, holding out the arrowhead) What do you got there? Looks like an arrowhead. Is that yours?", "FIFE: I'm a bow hunter; whitetail deer. Yeah, I'm gay and I hunt. Get over it.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to the bow hung in the rear window of FIFE's truck) That bow in his truck would generate sufficient velocity for this arrowhead to cause the trauma on the victim's sternum.", "BOOTH: Hmm.", "FIFE: What is she saying?", "BOOTH: Basically, she's saying you have a choice: Either you come with us willingly and answer my questions or...I arrest you.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 2", "(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT and CAM are on the platform, discussing the victim and cause of death in light of the possible murder weapon found by BRENNAN.)", "VINCENT: The damage to the sternum is not the cause of death.", "CAM: So, the ex-boyfriend's off the hook.", "VINCENT: At a velocity of 82 meters-per-second, a-a hunting arrow would not only pierce the sternum and the heart, but would sever the spinal column. I will point out, uh, however, that the angry ex-boyfriend might still have killed the victim, but either he didn't use a hunting bow or he-he made an amazing shot from the-the absolute, the limit of the bow's range, which-which would be...is...is very far. I sounded very much like Dr. Brennan then, did I not?", "CAM: Up until the \"very far,\" yes. What did strike our victim in the chest?", "VINCENT: It could easily have been postmortem. Probably as a result of being tipped into a creek...", "CAM: So, we don't have cause of death.", "VINCENT: (suddenly, clapping his hands together) Rhubarb!", "CAM: Uh...rhubarb...yeah...uh, the victim was killed by rhubarb...?", "VINCENT: Approximately ten kilos.", "CAM: All right, I'm usually pretty good with following your jumpy little brain, but you've totally left me in the dust on this one.", "VINCENT: If you can acquire for me the rhubarb, I can deliver unto you a skeleton free of clay. Rhubarb!", "CAM: (as she is exiting the platform) Rhubarb, it is.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building hallway. BOOTH and DR. LANCE SWEETS are walking to the Interrogation Room.)", "BOOTH: Okay, well, you know, our victim wasn't killed by an arrow.", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: But hey, you know, the good news: our victim's dental hygienist says that he gave her hepatitis C.", "SWEETS: The dental hygienist is gay, too?", "BOOTH: I don't know. I'm going to ask her.", "SWEETS: Her? Did the victim have heterosexual relations with his hygienist?", "BOOTH: I don't know. I'm going to ask her.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. GRACE BRYSON is sitting at the table as BOOTH enters.)", "BOOTH: Miss Bryson, I'm Agent Booth.", "BRYSON: They said Dan is dead? What happened?", "BOOTH: Well, we were hoping that maybe you would be able to help us with that.", "BRYSON: Me?", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab experiment room. HODGINS and VINCENT are preparing the victim for a soak in rhubarb-infused water.)", "HODGINS: How did you work this up without me?", "VINCENT: When I told Dr. Saroyan that the sternum wound was not caused by a hunting arrow, my brain jumped to different types of arrows... (lifts the body with HODGINS up into the container) ...which led me to the image of a giant wasp, which was silly, but which then led me to stinging nettles, which are covered in thousands of tiny little arrows, and on the tip of each tiny little arrow is a drop of oxalic acid, which not only stings, but works very well at dissolving silicates.", "HODGINS: Silicate causes clay to adhere...", "VINCENT: ...and rhubarb is full of oxalic acid.", "HODGINS: Okay. Next time someone says your brain is a jumble of disconnected chaos, you just send them to me.", "VINCENT: (chuckles) I wi-... (realizes what was said) People say that?", "HODGINS: You need me to stir?", "VINCENT: Don't you have lots of spiders to trace?", "HODGINS: Well, there's over 30 separate breeding grounds within a 200-mile radius of the body site. I'm analyzing the egg sacks to see if I can narrow it down further, but... I've got some time. And this is so cool.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building interrogation room. BOOTH continues to interrogate BRYSON.)", "BRYSON: You want to know if I had s*x with Dan?", "BOOTH: Well, you filed a grievance against him requesting the ADA revoke his license because he gave you hepatitis C.", "BRYSON: No, we didn't have s*x. Dan nicked me during a procedure.", "BOOTH: Really? So, he nicked himself and you? What about the patient?", "BRYSON: It was while preparing a syringe. My husband and I tested positive after that.", "BOOTH: Who believes that story? Did your husband believe that story?", "BRYSON: It ha-... It happened.", "BOOTH: How did you really get hepatitis C? Tell you what, before you answer that question, this here's a report from the ADA saying that Dan never had hepatitis C.", "BRYSON: I had an affair. I... I got hep C. I just... I needed a way to explain it to my husband.", "BOOTH: Right, so maybe you killed Dan so your husband wouldn't find out the truth, or your husband did.", "BRYSON: No. No, neither of those things happened.", "BOOTH: On the day that Dan Pinard disappeared, he canceled all of his appointments so he could, uh, go see Dr. Hibbert. Only problem is, we can't find this Dr. Hibbert.", "BRYSON: D-Dr. Hibbert is the name that Dan wrote in his appointment book when he canceled patients at the last minute.", "BOOTH: Any idea who it might have been that day?", "BRYSON: I was already fired.", "BOOTH: Right.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. BOOTH and BRENNAN leave BRENNAN's office together, walking a circuit around the platform.)", "BRENNAN: You ran a background check on Jared's girlfriend?", "BOOTH: Well, yeah; you do things like that for people you care about.", "BRENNAN: Do you do that when I go out with someone?", "BOOTH: Look, Bones, you're the one who says not to jump to conclusions without all the facts.", "BRENNAN: But you always say, in matters of the heart-...", "BOOTH: Ah, the heart is just a muscle. See? I'm learning from you, huh? Anyways, this whole background check came up hinky.", "BRENNAN: Hinky, how?", "BOOTH: Four years ago, this woman was an escort. Jared's going to be crushed.", "BRENNAN: Why? I'm sure she possesses sophisticated sexual skills, and if she's reformed...", "BOOTH: She's just...reformed. She's a reformed escort.", "BRENNAN: Well, maybe Jared already knows.", "BOOTH: No, he doesn't know.", "BRENNAN: How do you know he doesn't know?", "BOOTH: Because, if he knew, he wouldn't be talking about getting married. He wouldn't be saying stuff like that. (sighs as BRENNAN walks away from him)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab experiment room. HODGINS and VINCENT are fishing bones from the rhubarb bath as BRENNAN enters.)", "HODGINS: Hey. Look what Vincent did; he turned our victim into rhubarb pie.", "VINCENT: Uh, fractures are evident on at least half a dozen bones, including possible cause of death. (points to the skull)", "BRENNAN: Hmm. Fracture to the glabellar region on the frontal bone. Head trauma could definitely be cause of death.", "VINCENT: Tendonitis of the shoulder, broken ribs, knee trauma, and a nick to the ankle. That's all just the right side.", "HODGINS: Sounds like he was tortured.", "BRENNAN: He also had Bennett's fracture of the thumb, broken left clavicle, and his knee...", "HODGINS: You know what? These are all common football injuries.", "BRENNAN: Some of the injuries are over a decade old, but others show almost no remodeling, which means-...", "VINCENT: He was still active in the sport.", "HODGINS: A gay dentist who plays football.", "BRENNAN: Do the significant looks you are exchanging mean that you doubt a gay man can play football and be a dentist?", "VINCENT: No. I mean, for me, the answer is no. What I'm thinking is that American football is a bastion of testosterone-fueled masculinity.", "HODGINS: Maybe one too many lingering glances in the locker room got him in trouble.", "BRENNAN: What, does that happen often?", "HODGINS: (as VINCENT chuckles) Yeah. I mean, with me, it happened all the time.", "VINCENT: If I'd killed everyone who looked at me lustily, I wouldn't have made it out of school.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Washington, D.C. -- daytime. BOOTH's truck drives past the Capital.)", "(Cut to: Exterior -- Cardinals' football field -- daytime. COACH JASON HENDLER stands by as the Cardinals run a scrimmage during practice. The quarterback calls the play, and the subsequent sounds of men blocking one another precede BOOTH and BRENNAN's entrance onto the field.)", "BOOTH: There's only one amateur full-contact league in the DC area, so it wasn't hard to find out which team Dan played for.", "BRENNAN: Well, they are not unlike mountain rams that butt heads in an attempt to attract a mate. (watches as BOOTH catches a stray football) It's hard to believe that brain damage isn't a result.", "BOOTH: It's amazing; you can even make football sound bad, Bones. (throws the football offscreen)", "HENDLER: Come on, ladies... My little sister hits harder than that. Filmore, do you want me to get you a skirt?", "BRENNAN: He's challenging their masculinity to enhance aggression.", "BOOTH: That's coach talk; it's the way coaches talk. Let me handle this. Excuse me, Coach, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan. Like to ask you a few questions about Dan Pinard.", "HENDLER: Yeah, well, he better be in prison; that's the only excuse I'll accept for how long he's been gone.", "BOOTH: We found his body.", "HENDLER: Oh, my God.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, did any of Dan's teammates or opponents have any problems with him?", "HENDLER: What, he was murdered? (BOOTH nods) No. Oh, no. Uh, all the guys loved Dan.", "BRENNAN: Is it possible that someone's masculinity was threatened, and that person killed Dan because he was a homosexual?", "BOOTH: Way to ease into that one, Bones. That's smooth.", "HENDLER: No, that's definitely not an issue with my guys.", "BOOTH: What makes your team so highly evolved, Coach?", "HENDLER: Meet the Cardinals, Agent Booth. We're all gay. (two players collide in front of them) Good hit!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 3", "(Fade in: Exterior -- Cardinals' football field -- daytime. The CARDINALS, which include a player named GREG, and HENDLER are gathered on the sidelines as BOOTH questions them.)", "BOOTH: So, anybody here have any problems with Dan? Disagreements, arguments, fights?", "GREG: Everyone here joined this team because a lot of the straight players don't want us on their teams. We're like family. No one here hurt Dan. No way.", "BOOTH: And you're all...gay?", "HENDLER: Oh, I suppose, statistically, we could have two or three straights who are still in the closet. (the team chuckles)", "BRENNAN: (entering from off field) Booth, this is Dan's equipment bag. I found his protective headgear inside.", "BOOTH: That's a helmet, Bones.", "BRENNAN: There's blood on the inside of the lip. It approximates the location of the fracture on Dan's forehead. The force could have cracked his skull and killed him.", "BOOTH: (to HENDLER) Are you sure nothing happened here? One of your guys, they probably could have hit Dan, you know, in practice a little too hard, try to cover it up.", "HENDLER: What are you saying?", "BOOTH: I mean, you lose your insurance, you're kicked out of the league. But, hey, it's just an accident, right? (to the CARDINALS) All right, I'll tell you what: Anybody who's got plans for this weekend, just cancel 'em.", "HENDLER: (as the team grumbles) Because of blood on a football helmet?", "BOOTH: Because of blood inside of a football helmet. Isn't that right, Bones?", "BRENNAN: That's correct.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- HODGINS' office. HODGINS is examining the spiders from the clay when VINCENT enters.)", "VINCENT: I was draining the vat when I noticed these white things floating in the rhubarb stew. Spider eggs, right?", "HODGINS: No. No, the boiling water would have destroyed the eggs.", "VINCENT: So what are they?", "HODGINS: (bring them up on the microscope) I have no idea.", "VINCENT: Always glad to sow confusion. This man endured a remarkable amount of abuse. It must have been tough.", "HODGINS: Yeah, this ain't England, pal; being gay in America is still a tough go.", "VINCENT: I was referring to being a football player.", "HODGINS: Yeah, I-I knew that.", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab bone room. ANGELA MONTENEGRO is conversing with BRENNAN as she reexamines the victim's skeleton.)", "ANGELA: Four years ago Jared's girlfriend was a hooker?", "BRENNAN: Well, an escort. I believe, in the hierarchy of prostitution, an escort ranks equal to high-class call girl.", "ANGELA: And now she teaches grade school?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. I don't see any other injuries to the bone that could be cause of death. That leads us back to the head trauma. Apparently the rule is: once a s*x worker, always a s*x worker.", "ANGELA: You know, it really would have been better if Booth never ran her record.", "BRENNAN: He said it was my influence, that it was the rational thing to do.", "ANGELA: No, sweetie; he's rationalizing, which makes what he did irrational because he's rationalizing that Jared cannot make rational decisions for himself. You do the same thing all the time. Maybe that's what he learned from you.", "BRENNAN: In order to be fatal, whatever struck the frontal bone had to be pointed enough to pierce the brain.", "ANGELA: Now, wait a second... Is Booth going to tell Jared about this?", "BRENNAN: I believe that's his plan.", "ANGELA: What if Jared and this woman are really in love? Booth could ruin everything.", "BRENNAN: Well, not if, as Booth always asserts, love conquers all.", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, this is going to be one hell of a test case.", "CAM: (entering) I ran blood tests on the items in Dan's athletic bag. I found evidence of someone else's blood. (pulls up the report on one of the computer screens)", "BRENNAN: Football is a contact sport; there are bound to be traces of other people's DNA on his uniform.", "CAM: This was more than a trace, and it wasn't on his uniform; it was all over his towel. We ran it through CODIS and got a match. (shows CYD ZIGLER's CODIS entry on the screen) 32-year-old man named Cyd Zigler.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Break Room. BOOTH is sharing the new suspect's file with SWEETS as he makes himself a cup of coffee.)", "BOOTH: Zigler is a firefighter and a former Marine. He lives in Greenbelt, Maryland. He plays for one of, uh, the other teams in Dan's league.", "SWEETS: One of the straight teams?", "BOOTH: Yeah, there's a big game. Zigler fumbles, uh, the victim recovers, scores a touchdown, game over.", "SWEETS: Well, I doubt even a homophobe would kill for that.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but a fight ensues.", "SWEETS: Oh, so they fought? If Dan won a physical altercation, uh, in front of both teams, then there-there's a certain personality type that might feel impugned enough to strike back.", "BOOTH: Go on.", "SWEETS: (following BOOTH out of the break room toward his office) Gay guy beats up a certain type of straight guy, straight guy can't handle it.", "BOOTH: Well, see, th-that's what I wanted to know.", "SWEETS: Now, did the victim and Zigler have any contact since their fistfight?", "BOOTH: Well, the two of 'em, they played against each other in a game the weekend before Dan disappeared.", "SWEETS: Okay.", "BOOTH: (finds JARED waiting for him in his office) Jared.", "JARED: Hey, Seeley, your message sounded urgent. What's going on?", "BOOTH: Uh... (whispered to SWEETS as he closes the door) Thanks for the gay insights.", "SWEETS: (as he leaves) You're welcome.", "(BOOTH turns and sighs.)", "JARED: Oh... You got that big brother look all over your face, like the time you had to tell me the puppy I brought home was a rat.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) Uh, well, um, that sort of happened again.", "JARED: Okay, what the hell are you talking about?", "BOOTH: There are some things that you need to know about Padme.", "JARED: You ran a background check on my girlfriend?", "BOOTH: What, no, she was arrested for prostitution four years ago.", "JARED: Shut up, Seeley, shut up.", "BOOTH: The charges, they didn't stick, but you need to know that she was an escort.", "JARED: You just can't stand to see me happy, can you?", "BOOTH: No, that's not true. If I were in your shoes, I'd want to know if my girlfriend was hiding something.", "JARED: No, you wouldn't. Okay, I have watched you for years. I learned. You would make your own judgment. You wouldn't care what other people said. You'd say exactly what I'm gonna say: Go to hell. (exits the office)", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. ZIGLER is sitting at the table, being questioned by BOOTH.)", "ZIGLER: Look, I called him a fag, the dude kicked my ass. End of story.", "BOOTH: You got a problem with gays?", "ZIGLER: No, that was over a year ago. Look, what's this all about?", "BOOTH: I'm trying to put together a sequence of events before Dan Pinard disappeared.", "ZIGLER: Disappeared? Wh-What do you mean \"disappeared?\"", "BOOTH: We, uh, found your blood on his towel.", "ZIGLER: I-I cut myself during a game, a big gash on my leg. Danny used his towel to stop the bleeding. What do you mean \"disappeared?\"", "BOOTH: He came up to you in the locker room and he presses that towel on your leg?", "ZIGLER: I thought... I thought it was only me. I thought Danny didn't want to see me anymore. And, I-I called him, I...I went by his place a hundred times. Nothing.", "BOOTH: Hmm. Why do you think he didn't want to see you again?", "ZIGLER: 'Cause, I mean, Danny had it all figured...who he was. I wasn't ready.", "BOOTH: To come out of the closet?", "ZIGLER: For any of it. And, that made Danny mad sometimes, you know? Frustrated. Is Danny dead? (BOOTH nods) You, uh, you think I killed him. (takes a picture of himself and the victim out of his wallet and shows BOOTH) Danny was, uh... The only time I've ever been happy was with Danny. I wouldn't expect you to understand. I don't guess anyone would understand.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 4", "(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. HODGINS and VINCENT are in the bone room examining the victim's remain, still searching for the cause of death.)", "HODGINS: Looks like cause of death to me.", "VINCENT: Cause of death, yes, yes, but I cannot discern the cause of the cause of death, so to speak.", "HODGINS: Okay, bugs and slime, pal. Different discipline entirely, sorry.", "VINCENT: (addressing the magnified image of the victim's skull on the computer screen) There appear to be three separate fractures on the skull. We-We couldn't see them before because all of the fracture lines connect.", "HODGINS: Okay, so the victim was hit three times instead of once.", "VINCENT: Dr. Brennan thinks that the brain was pierced when the skull was hit.", "HODGINS: Brain piercing? Yeah, sounds very death-causing to me.", "VINCENT: The beveling on the exterior of the skull suggests that all three fracture points emanate from inside the skull. His forehead exploded from the inside out.", "HODGINS: Again, very deathy. Wait a minute. Wh-What would cause someone's forehead to explode from the inside?", "VINCENT: I was hoping that you'd say it had something to do with those bulbous seedy jobbers that I thought were spider eggs.", "HODGINS: No. I mean... Oh. Wow. (exits quickly)", "VINCENT: Wow? What wow?", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building. BOOTH, BRENNAN, and SWEETS are eating lunch and discussing the case in the Conference Room.)", "BOOTH: So, Zigler was a Marine. He gets married to a woman, it lasts six years. Why?", "BRENNAN: Why did his marriage last six years?", "BOOTH: No, why did he get married?", "SWEETS: Well, most likely Zigler was trying to conform to social norms.", "BRENNAN: In many cultures, homosexuality is revered. Anthropologically, it makes no sense for heterosexuals to be threatened by homosexuals because they are actually removing themselves from competition for mates.", "BOOTH: Right, so Zigler forces himself to conform, and the dentist comes along and forces, you know, Zigler to confront...", "SWEETS: Zigler couldn't come to terms with his sexual orientation, so when the victim elicited this flood of unwanted feelings in him, he transferred the self-loathing from himself to the victim.", "BRENNAN: Native Americans believed that homosexuals were of two spirits, held them in high esteem. So what's the problem?", "BOOTH: It's no problem. Why are you looking at me like that? I was a soldier. I mean, gay guys...they saved my life in battle more than once.", "BRENNAN: So, are you saying that if a former prostitute saved your life in battle, that would solve the problem with Jared's girlfriend?", "SWEETS: What?", "BOOTH: Seriously, you're going to bring that up in front of Sweets right now?", "BRENNAN: It's a rational question.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry... Jared's involved with a prostitute?", "BRENNAN: Former. Former prostitute.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: What?", "SWEETS: Oh, did you run a background check on Jared's girlfriend?", "BOOTH: Okay, why is everybody saying that to me like it's some sort of terrible thing?", "SWEETS: 'Cause it's kind of terrible.", "BOOTH: Look, I'm just looking out for my brother, that's all. So, can we just, you know, focus on the case?", "SWEETS: Yeah... Uh, well, the fact that the suspect carries in his wallet a photo of them together...it doesn't really jibe with homosexual panic.", "BOOTH: Great, thanks, that's all I need to know. I got enough. Thanks, appreciate it, Sweets. (exits)", "SWEETS: (to BRENNAN) Wow, that was-...", "BRENNAN: I have to go, too. (exits)", "SWEETS: Thank you, Dr. Sweets, for your invaluable psychological insights into the human condition.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- ANGELA's office. BRENNAN enters to find HODGINS, ANGELA, and VINCENT present.)", "HODGINS: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.", "BRENNAN: Yes, but, so are we all. Except for Angela.", "ANGELA: Oh, right. And yet, who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures?", "VINCENT: Dr. Hodgins figured out what caused the fracture to the frontal bone.", "HODGINS: Vincent found these small particulates floating in the rhubarb stew, right? Well, I identified them as silica phytolith, which is a...a razor-thin, clear, hard shell which protects seeds.", "ANGELA: Now, the victim was tossed into the creek bed where his body quickly decomposed.", "HODGINS: (as ANGELA queues up the simulation on the Angelator) Flooding from the rain washed the clay and debris into that creek bed, which encased the body. Now, in all that muck, three periwinkle seeds became embedded within the victim's skull.", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "HODGINS: It's called floral turbation. Over time, soft can become even harder than hard, like, uh, a sliver of grass that grows through cement.", "VINCENT: The same kind of process that causes tree roots to destroy pipes.", "BRENNAN: So a seedling fractured the frontal bone?", "ANGELA: Three of them.", "BRENNAN: So...head trauma was not cause of death. (as she exits) We have no cause of death.", "VINCENT: Did she seem disappointed to anyone else? She definitely seemed disappointed to me.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. Musical montage of BRENNAN in the bone room examining the skeleton meticulously one last time to try to find a cause of death. VINCENT walks past and tries to catch her attention in an effort to offer his assistance, but is ignored. He walks away just before BRENNAN appears to have found the cause of death.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- HODGINS' office. HODGINS and VINCENT are going over evidence.)", "HODGINS: The pollen from the egg sack is from hickory pine trees, but they don't grow where the body was found.", "VINCENT: She didn't even want me to help her examine the bones.", "HODGINS: Okay, you're not listening to me.", "VINCENT: Yes, the, um...the-the keening shriek of intern anxiety is interfering with my hearing.", "BRENNAN: (entering) There is a slice on the medial malleolus.", "VINCENT: Yes, uh, duly noted in my report.", "BRENNAN: But you didn't note what that might mean.", "VINCENT: I would, uh, most definitely have done so, if-if I had the slightest inkling of what it might mean.", "BRENNAN: Whatever caused the nick on this bone must have cut the posterior tibial artery.", "VINCENT: Oh, yes. Tissue. Um, posterior tibial artery wou-... Massive bleeding.", "HODGINS: Dude, you should totally just toss culpability onto Cam.", "BRENNAN: I need to know if the weapon that caused this left any trace in the bone.", "HODGINS: Well, Vincent's rhubarb stew completely washed away all the surface particulates. (to VINCENT) See how that's done?", "VINCENT: We can sand down the top layer of bones cells and analyze what lies beneath.", "BRENNAN: (handing the bone to VINCENT before leaving) Thank you.", "(HODGINS holds up a rotary saw. It turns on as VINCENT reaches for it, and VINCENT pulls his hand away.)", "HODGINS: (turning the saw off as he hands it to VINCENT) My bad.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- BRENNAN's office. CAM enters to find BRENNAN at her desk, working on her laptop.)", "CAM: You can't blame Mr. Nigel-Murray; the nick was on the bone, but I should've realized the implications for the flesh, and I didn't.", "BRENNAN: I agree.", "CAM: Then why are you letting him worry that he's disappointing you?", "BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray should be aware by now that I don't hold others to my level of expertise. Otherwise I'd have no one to help me.", "CAM: How would he know that if you don't tell him?", "HODGINS: (entering with VINCENT) Tungsten carbide, which is a compound used to coat various types of tools.", "VINCENT: Including dental tools.", "BRENNAN: (after a reaffirming nod from CAM) I distinctly remember saying to you once, \"Good job, Mr. Nigel-Murray.\" I'm saying it again now.", "VINCENT: Cheers. Brilliant, that.", "BRENNAN: One of the suspects was Dan's dental hygienist...", "CAM: Grace Bryson.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "HODGINS: Hey, where does she live?", "BRENNAN: Fairfax, Virginia.", "HODGINS: Okay, the pollen I found in the sheet weaver spider's egg sack came from hickory pine trees. They don't grow where the body was found, but you can find them all over that part of Virginia.", "CAM: Motive, theoretical weapon, spiders... That should be enough for an arrest.", "(Fade in: Exterior establishing shot -- daytime. BOOTH's truck is traveling down a D.C. area street.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- BOOTH's truck. BOOTH is driving BRENNAN and himself to BRYSON's house.)", "BOOTH: So, according to Grace Bryson's statement, she and her husband were at a yoga retreat when Dan Pinard disappeared.", "BRENNAN: Well, the retreat was in Silver Spring; that's close enough to drive back, kill Dan and then return to the spa.", "BOOTH: Right. It could be both her and her husband.", "BRENNAN: Hmm. When your gut speaks to you, do you think it could be an increase in stomach acid, due to anxiety?", "BOOTH: Huh?", "BRENNAN: I-I...feel some anxiety.", "BOOTH: Okay, about what?", "BRENNAN: About your sudden abandonment of a belief system. Really, it's-it's making my stomach upset.", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You are really just, um...crack a window there, Bones, all right. Just get some air.", "BRENNAN: You told me that my father's criminal past didn't matter, that the love between us was real and that was all that mattered. Because I believed you, my father and I have a relationship today.", "BOOTH: Okay. I'm glad I could help out.", "BRENNAN: But, I'm anxious because I can't see any meaningful difference between my father and your brother's girlfriend. Can you explain that to me? It's a question of logic, so I'm just going to be quiet now while you work your way through it.", "(Cut: Exterior establishing shot -- daytime. BOOTH's truck travels down a D.C. street.)", "(Cut to: Exterior -- BRYSON's house -- daytime. BRYSON is raking leaves as BOOTH and BRENNAN question her about her alibi.)", "BRYSON: I already told you where I was: at the yoga retreat.", "BOOTH: Yeah, we know that. But you would have had more than enough time to, uh, leave the retreat and return.", "BRYSON: Well, I didn't, so, can you leave me alone?", "BOOTH: After Dan fired you, you couldn't find a job, could you?", "BRYSON: Well, that wasn't Dan's fault; that was the hepatitis.", "BRENNAN: Ms. Bryson, do you own a set of dental tools?", "BRYSON: Well, I had to buy a set when I was in school. Why?", "BOOTH: Can we see 'em?", "BRYSON: (sighs) No. Not without a warrant. (picks up a bag of leaves and walks toward the house, to a trashcan in the driveway)", "BRENNAN: When did you put in this driveway?", "BRYSON: Excuse me?", "BRENNAN: When were these paving stones laid?", "BRYSON: A few months ago. Is there something illegal now about doing home improvements?", "BOOTH: What's going on, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Look at the stones.", "BOOTH: Well, you know these stones look just like the ones that were at Dan's house.", "BRYSON: It's the same contractor: Lucas. I met him at Dan's office, before I was fired. Well, he said he had some extra materials left over from Dan's job and he could give me a good deal.", "BOOTH: That's a scam; Lucas was reselling the supplies that Dan had already paid for.", "BRYSON: Well, I didn't know that.", "BRENNAN: Was Lucas working on the driveway when you were at the yoga retreat?", "BRYSON: Yeah. He was finished by the time we got back. It was the fastest he ever finished anything.", "BRENNAN: We need to dig these up.", "BOOTH: Backhoe and a cement cutter.", "(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. CAM is in the autopsy room working on a computer when BRENNAN enters.)", "CAM: The bottom of the paving stones are covered in blood. All the samples I've taken are a match for the victim.", "BRENNAN: He bled out on the ground, then it was paved over.", "VINCENT: (entering with HODGINS) Behold, Lucas Pickford's grout scraper. He used it for installing the paving stones.", "HODGINS: Coated in tungsten carbide.", "CAM: Please tell me it's a match.", "VINCENT: I-It is, in fact, a perfect match for the injury to the victim's ankle. (noticing BRENNAN's smile) Yeah? Cheers. Brilliant.", "HODGINS: Hmm? No, she didn't say anything.", "BRENNAN: I-I discerned a lovely...a little glint of approbation in her eye. (exits, followed by HODGINS)", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. PICKFORD is sitting at the table across from BOOTH and BRENNAN.)", "PICKFORD: I-I admit it: We had an argument.", "BRENNAN: About the paving stones?", "PICKFORD: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Did you call him something?", "BRENNAN: A vulgar slur for \"homosexual?\"", "PICKFORD: In the heat of the moment, maybe. I mean, but you should've heard what he was calling me. Dan knocked me down and he started kicking me. So I grabbed the-the scraper, and swung it at him to get him off me.", "BOOTH: Self-defense.", "PICKFORD: Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I-I'll admit it. It was self-defense.", "BOOTH: Yeah, except, um, you didn't call 911.", "BRENNAN: No. You just watched him bleed to death, and then you dumped his body in a ditch.", "PICKFORD: If he charged me with theft, I lose my contractor's license, my whole livelihood, for what? A few dozen paving stones? The guy attacked me for a few dozen paving stones.", "BOOTH: You robbed him, you lied about it, and you called him a \"fag.\" To him, that was a big deal.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "TAG", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Jefferson Memorial -- evening.)", "(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Founding Fathers.)", "(Cut to: Interior -- Founding Fathers bar area. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sitting at a table near the bar.)", "BRENNAN: I'm sure Jared wants to talk to you alone, Booth.", "BOOTH: No, he asked for you to be here.", "BRENNAN: I really don't want to be in the middle of a fight.", "BOOTH: I'm not going to fight. There's going to be no fighting, I promise, all right? So, you really think I was wrong?", "BRENNAN: I don't know if you were wrong, but I fail to see the point of being right.", "BOOTH: Okay. I've really been thinking about what you said. What if I ruined it for him? What if he was really happy with her?", "BRENNAN: I imagine you would never forgive yourself.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "BRENNAN: Well, on the bright side, he might totally ignore you.", "BOOTH: Great, thank you.", "BRENNAN: Well, perhaps Jared will think for himself. Isn't that all you've ever really wanted for him?", "BOOTH: Well-...", "JARED: (entering with PADME) Hey, sorry we're late. Padme, this is Temperance Brennan.", "PADME: Hi.", "JARED: This is my, uh, brother's partner-slash-friend.", "BRENNAN: Nice to meet you.", "PADME: Pleasure.", "JARED: So...here we are.", "BOOTH: Think we can talk outside, privately?", "JARED: No. Whatever you want to say, you can say to both of us. See, we don't have secrets, Seeley. Never did. About anything.", "BRENNAN: I suspect Jared is implying that he already knew about Padme's past as an escort.", "BOOTH: Great, thanks, Bones. I got that.", "PADME: Jared and I have come to grips with...everything.", "JARED: Yeah. So, the question is: Are you in or are you out?", "BOOTH: I'm in.", "JARED: That's good, 'cause, uh, I really wanted to know if you'd be my best man.", "BOOTH: Wow. Uh...so soon. It's only been, what, a month?", "JARED: Ow.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "JARED: Temperance, she kicked me under the table. Pretty sure she was aiming for you.", "BOOTH: Definitely meant for me.", "PADME: Well, if that's true, I like her.", "BRENNAN: (standing) I'd like to make a toast.", "JARED: What is this?", "BOOTH: It's her new thing. She likes to make--... She's really good at making toasts, though. M-Maybe we should get some champagne, though.", "BRENNAN: No, Jared is an alcoholic, Booth.", "JARED: No secrets.", "BRENNAN: When Booth and I first met, I didn't believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was simply brain chemistry. But, perhaps Booth is correct; perhaps love comes first, and then creates the reaction. I have no tangible proof, but...I'm willing to accept Booth's premise.", "BOOTH: To love.", "JARED: To love.", "PADME: To love.", "BRENNAN: To love.", "(They all clink glasses. JARED whispers \"To love\" again to PADME before kissing her, as BOOTH says something undecipherable to BRENNAN. Fade to credits.)", "END." ]

[ "Booth and Brennan investigate the remains of a demon -like body found in a church that has horns and a tail. The case leads them to Havenhurst Sanitarium, where the victim was committed, as he had schizophrenia . The case causes intern Arastoo Vaziri to talk about his beliefs of good and evil and he reveals a secret he has been keeping for many years." ]

[ "ACT 1", "(St. Dominic's Roman Catholic Church - A priest and an altar boy prepare for mass)", "FATHER PATRICK: Come on then, William, let's not keep God waiting. (William comes closer, Father Patrick blesses the bowl of water) By this holy water, and by your precious blood, wash away all my sins, O Lord.", "WILLIAM: Amen.", "FATHER PATRICK: And may this holy water protect us against evil in this world and in the next.", "WILLIAM: (Sniffing) I smell something weird.", "FATHER PATRICK: The new candles are smokier than the last batch.", "(They exit to the main room, a body with horns is burning on the altar)", "FATHER PATRICK: Oh, no!", "(They run to the altar)", "FATHER PATRICK: Oh, my Lord!", "(Kneels to pray)", "FATHER PATRICK Most glorious prince of the heavenly armies, Saint Michael the Archangel. God help us.", "(William grabs the holy water and douses the flames, to no avail.)", "WILLIAM: Be gone, Satan!", "FATHER PATRICK: Pray with me, William.", "(They kneel)", "FATHER PATRICK: Defend us in battle against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in high places!", "(Brennan and Booth are in the car, Brennan is driving)", "BRENNAN: Notice how I'm not tailgating? Adaptive cruise control.", "BOOTH: Hmm-hmm. Ah, well, right now I'm more worried about a safe distance between you and me.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because we're going to a church and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.", "BRENNAN: What, you're afraid that if God smites me with lightning, you could get hit?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.", "BRENNAN: The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies. Although, Zeus apparently had better aim than your God.", "BOOTH: Exactly, stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that. All right, are we...what's going on here? Are we going the right way?", "BRENNAN: Yes. All I had to say was, (loudly) \"St. Dominic's Roman Catholic Church\" into the voice activated GPS.", "BOOTH: (shouting) Car, could you please get us there a little faster?", "BRENNAN: No, the accelerator is not voice activated. It's foot activated, like a normal car.", "BOOTH: Right.", "BRENNAN: Oh. (laughs) You're joking.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: That's funny.", "(St Dominic's Roman Catholic Church - Booth, Brennan, and Father Patrick approach the altar.)", "BOOTH: Father Patrick I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth, this here's my Dr. Temperance Brennan", "FATHER PATRICK: I have no idea what I'm going to tell our congregation. He has horns.", "BRENNAN: Yes that would have great meaning for your superstitious followers.", "BOOTH: (Whispers to Brennan) Yeah, like me. (To Father Patrick) Was the, uh, Sanctuary locked?", "FATHER PATRICK: Yes, but, doors and windows mean nothing to unclean spirits.", "BRENNAN: Many cultures since the dawn of humanity have explained evil as the work of mythical, supernatural beings.", "FATHER PATRICK: Evil is not mythical Dr. Brennan, it emanates from The Opposition. From Satan. And his minions.", "(Booth and Brennan come to the altar)", "BOOTH: Bones, that looks like a demon. (Booth genuflects and crosses himself) Huh, you understand?", "BRENNAN: Booth, if your superstitions are getting the best of you I can continue my examination alone.", "BOOTH: I'm just saying a prayer for us to protect us from the evil, you understand? I mean, come on. Even you believe in evil.", "BRENNAN: I believe in genetic anomalies and abhorrent behavior. Also, accidents. And unfortunately, prayers do not have much effect on the physical world.", "BOOTH: (Taps Brennan and points to body) Those are horns.", "BRENNAN: Yes. The smell indicates the remains were doused in some kind of petrochemical accelerant. Which also explains why the fire was localized.", "BOOTH: Right, and you just blew right past the whole \"horn\" thing. Have you seen this before?", "BONES: No, it's fascinating.", "BOOTH: Fascinating. It can't be real, right? It must be some kind of plastic or something right?", "BRENNAN: No, they appear to be composed of actual bone.", "BOOTH: Those are real horns.", "BRENNAN: Are you okay, Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm alright, let's just, uh - what do you say we just get Hell Boy wrapped up and back to the Jeffersonian. (indicates other agents) Come on guys, let's go.", "OPENING CREDITS", "ACT TWO", "(At the Jeffersonian, Brennan and Cam are walking to the platform)", "CAM: I've been a coroner a long time. I've seen a lot of bad things...", "BRENNAN: Define bad things.", "CAM: Murder, mayhem, catastrophe, suicide, explosions, you know, the usual stuff. But this? This gave me a chill.", "BRENNAN: Because of the demonic symbolism of the horns?", "CAM: Look, I just don't want to end up hovering above my bed with my head spinning around 360 degrees.", "(They reach the platform and swipe their cards)", "BRENNAN: That would not only be impossible, but fatal.", "CAM: Right.", "BRENNAN: Preliminary findings, Mr. Vaziri?", "ARASTOO: The victim is human, mostly.", "CAM: Oh, he's only half joking. This extension of cartilage here? (Points to body)", "BRENNAN: Oh, a tail! The victim had a tail?", "ARASTOO: Unmistakably devilish.", "BRENNAN: Believing in fallen angels and living by the tenets of empirical science are mutually exclusive.", "ARASTOO: Islam teaches that Shaitan was not a fallen angel but a Jinn. Angels are created from light and have no free will. Jinns are made from smokeless fire and use their free will to defy Allah.", "CAM: Not an angel, not a Jinn, and yet; not your run-of-the-mill man, either.", "ARASTOO: The victim is Caucasian, and judging by the partially fused epiphyseal union on the clavicle, 19 to 24 years of age.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: The accelerant was common motor oil. Available at any gas station.", "CAM: Well at least it wasn't brimstone, available only from Hell.", "HODGINS: I can't get much off of what's left of his clothes, it's just a generic mixture of cotton and man-made fibres.", "BRENNAN: What do you make of the horns, Mr. Vaziri?", "HODGINS: Whoa, hey! Horns fall under my area.", "CAM: Only if they aren't made of bone.", "ARASTOO: But they are made of bone.", "HODGINS: Really? Huh. Well I took a sample of your horns and ran it through the mass spec. In addition to calcium potassium, manganese and silica...", "BRENNAN: Bone, as Mr. Vaziri stated.", "HODGINS: I also found calcium carbonate in the crystal for aragonite, which is better known as coral.", "BRENNAN: Likely the horns were cosmetic implants, but as a result of biocompatibility the remodeled bone grew within the coral.", "CAM: What about the tail, do you think it's a cosmetic implant as well?", "BRENNAN: Vestigial. It's a vestigial tail.", "CAM: Well, that's extremely rare for a child to be born with one.", "BRENNAN: There is a man in west Bengal with a 33 centimeter long tail, who some believe is the reincarnation of Hanuman.", "(Angela enters)", "ANGELA: Hey, I got an ID on our victim.", "CAM: Is his last name Lucifer?", "HODGINS: Can we please call him Hell Boy until we find out otherwise?", "ANGELA: (Goes to computer) Well, we've found out otherwise. Neal Lowery. Turns out Neal's the only missing guy with horns. Go figure.", "BRENNAN: Where was his last known residence?", "ARASTOO: I'm guessing Mr. Stephen King's basement.", "ANGELA: Havenhurst Sanitarium, where he's being treated for schizophrenia.", "(Booth is in the interrogation room with Erica and Gabe Lowery, the victim's mother and brother.)", "ERICA: Things were fine when Neal was little. He was the happiest boy", "GABE: He loved cars, toy trucks. Real smart kid.", "BOOTH: And your son, he was born with a tail?", "ERICA: Yes. Um, vestigial, the doctors called it.", "BOOTH: When Neal was 14 a teacher noticed he'd been beaten and reported it to Child Services?", "ERICA: Yes, there was an investigation, and Neal he was getting really hard to handle, and I reacted badly.", "GABE: He started setting things on fire, hung my mom's catin the garage. So she hit him.", "ERICA: I lost my temper. But I got the counseling I needed and it never happened again.", "GABE: None of us knew what was happening. We didn't know Neal was getting sick.", "ERICA: The counselor thought it might help Neal to have the tail removed.", "GABE: But by then he wanted to keep it.", "BOOTH: Why?", "GABE: He thought he was marked by God. He told people he was the son of Satan.", "ERICA: Neal was schizophrenic it wasn't his fault.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, uh, what about the horns?", "GABE: When Neal was 16 he went off his meds for the first time and ran away.", "ERICA: And, uh, when the police found Neal he'd had these horns implanted. We never saw our Neal again, not really.", "GABE: And when people asked where he got the horns...he said hell. And he's been in and out of the loony bin ever since.", "ERICA: Havenhurst was a good place wasn't it? Every cent I ever had went to them, for Neal.", "GABE: He's crazy, but he's my brother. So if they did anything that got him killed; negligent, whatever, they need to be held responsible.", "(Cam and Arastoo are examining the remains in the examination room)", "CAM: This section of the peritoneal lining is both thickened and enflamed, which indicated the intestines might have ruptured.", "ARASTOO: Cause of death?", "CAM: Hard to tell from sample size. Did you find any fractured bones in the X-rays that might have perforated the intestines?", "ARASTOO: I don't think so, Dr Saroyan. (Removes victim's shoes)", "CAM: Whoo! I know that smell. (Inspects victims foot) Yup. Gangrene. I've seen this before, in junkies. They inject between the toes, gets infected.", "ARASTOO: (Indicates monitor) As you can see there's a fracture on the anterior aspect of the right T5.", "CAM: There's no way that ruptured the intestines.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: I finished my analysis of the contents of the boot treads. Within the treads, I found peat moss, sand, and perlite; also known as potting soil, as well as seeds from a plant commonly known as Christmas roses.", "CAM: Christmas roses, that doesn't sound very Satanic.", "HODGINS: Yeah, from the genus hellebore. Sorry. Even more interesting though, is the legend that hellebore is the key ingredient in a potion meant to summon the devil.", "CAM: Hmm, of course it is.", "(Booth, Brennan, and Sweets are in the car, Brennan is driving)", "SWEETS: Oh, hey, did I mention that I interned in a mental health facility in Philadelphia?", "BOOTH: By \"interned\", do you mean lived in?", "SWEETS: You know the whole thing about how all psychologists needs psychological help, it's not true.", "BOOTH: Is there any chance that Hell Boy wasn't crazy but actually possessed?", "BRENNAN: You mean by a demon? (scoffs)", "BOOTH: Well, listen, if the pope believes in demonic possession then, you know, I at least gotta ask.", "SWEETS: I spoke briefly to the victim's psychiatrist. Neal Lowery didn't show any symptoms of demonic possession.", "BOOTH: Okay, growing horns isn't a sign of possession?", "BRENNAN: You mean you spoke seriously on the matter to a man with a university education?", "BOOTH: Evil is out there, Bones. There's just more than one explanation.", "BRENNAN: Yes, chemical imbalance, poor role models, ignorance.", "SWEETS: Neal Lowery was a simple schizophrenic, living a simple delusion.", "BOOTH: See that, simple question, simple answer. Thank you, Sweets.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. You could have asked him that on the phone.", "BOOTH: Well, listen, I brought Sweets along so, you know, he could sift through all the crazy-asses at the loony bin, see if any of them are homicidal.", "SWEETS: I am an excellent loony bin, crazy-ass sifter.", "(At Havenhurst Sanitarium, outside)", "ORDERLY: (To patient) You've got to come back inside.", "BOOTH: Shouldn't these patients be in straight jackets, or rubber rooms?", "SWEETS: Well, some of the patients are here of their own free will. There will be a more secure lock down section for those who've been committed.", "BRENNAN: Oh, Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Look over there, that's hellebore. (Points)", "BOOTH: The questions is did Hell Boy trample on those flowers before or after he was dead?", "BRENNAN: Well, Hell Boy couldn't have trampled on them after he was dead.", "BOOTH: You sure about that?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "(Lloyed Robertson descends the stairs at the entrance)", "LLOYD: Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Yes?", "LLOYD: Hi, I'm Lloyd, I'm one of the nurse practitioners. Dr. Copeland's expecting you. (Ushers them inside)", "(Booth, Brennan and Sweets are climbing the stairs with Dr. Copeland)", "COPELAND: Neal disappeared the night before last, he didn't show up for his morning meds.", "SWEETS: So you thought perhaps he bolted that night?", "COPELAND: Yes.", "BOOTH: He's escaped before?", "COPELAND: \"Escape\" implies incarceration. We prefer the term AWOL.", "BRENNAN: The man was committed to your insane asylum because he believed he was the mythical embodiment of evil. \"Escape\" seems accurate.", "COPELAND: Oh, Neal was genius at finding nooks and crannies that he's hole up in for days. We were hoping he'd done that again, that he'd show up when he got hungry.", "SWEETS: We'd like to ask your patients and staff if they know anything.", "COPELAND: Oh.", "BOOTH: \"Oh.\" Is that a problem?", "COPELAND: Staff I'm good with. The patients...these are damaged people Agent Booth. Their hold on reality is tenuous.", "BRENNAN: Well that's why we brought our own psychologist.", "COPELAND: You're Dr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: Mm-hmm.", "COPELAND: You sounded more experienced on the phone.", "(Booth laughs)", "BRENNAN: He means you sounded older.", "SWEETS: I know.", "BOOTH: I love it.", "SWEETS: It's not that funny, Booth.", "BOOTH: I think it is.", "(The group enters the art room)", "COPELAND: This is the arts and crafts area.", "BRENNAN: Well, the work is quite...", "COPELAND: Disturbing?", "BRENNAN: Fascinating.", "BOOTH: Yeah, fascinating. Did, uh, Neal Lowery have any enemies here? The whole presence of the Devil, the tails and the horns. That must've been quite disrupting.", "SWEETS: Actually schizophrenic hallucinations can be way worse than that.", "COPELAND: Way, way worse. Yes, one boy with horns would barely register.", "BOOTH: Well, why don't you just have the horns removed as part of the cure?", "COPELAND: I thought this would be a significant and visible breakthrough for Neal if he could make the decision without being forced.", "BOOTH: What do you think Sweets?", "SWEETS: Oh, I buy it.", "COPELAND: Thank you Dr. Sweets. You don't think Neal was killed on the grounds do you? That would not be good.", "BRENNAN: I'm quite certain it wouldn't make any difference to Neal.", "BOOTH: Neal, did he have any, um, I don't know, fights with uh fellow...people?", "COPELAND: Uh, physically, no.", "SWEETS: Arguments?", "COPELAND: A case of competing delusions, yes, that deteriorated into shouting upon occasion, but nothing more. (To a patient sitting at an easel) Neviah, these people have some questions for you about Neal Lowery, do you feel up to speaking with them?", "NEVIAH: God warned me you'd be here with questions.", "SWEETS: God warns you?", "NEVIAH: Of course. How else would I have know to have this ready for you? (Turns around her painting)", "SWEETS: Oh! Okay, wow, that's, uh... well, I'm gonna need another", "word for fascinating.", "BOOTH: Creepy?", "SWEETS: So what are we to learn from this, Neviah?", "BOOTH: You are very, um, you're talented. You're...", "BRENNAN: Obviously, she's replaced the face of Longinus - the soldier who drove his spear through Christ's side during the crucifixion with her own face.", "COPELAND: Neviah believes herself to be the earthly manifestation of the angel Uriel.", "BRENNAN: She's put the murder victim's face in place of the crucified devil. Are you confessing to murder?", "SWEETS: Do you mind if I conduct the, uh, conversation Dr. Brennan?", "BRENNAN: No. No, but you might want to know that the placement of the lance here in the victim's side exactly matches the location where the victim was struck in real life.", "BOOTH: So this is true?", "NEVIAH: I only tell the truth. As Dr. Copeland told you, I'm an angel.", "ACT THREE", "(Outside the interrogation room at Havenhurst, Neviah is sitting at a table on the other side of the window)", "SWEETS: I just don't think it's wise to have Dr. Brennan present when we question Neviah.", "BRENNAN: Well, why?", "COPELAND: What if Neviah told you she was an angel, something she believes with her whole heart, how would you respond?", "BRENNAN: Well, I'd tell her that angels don't exist except, of course, in works of fiction such as the Bible and in children's books.", "SWEETS: After which all we'll get from Neviah is argument, no answers.", "BOOTH: Sweets is right, Bones, you're out.", "BRENNAN: I have to admit, it's eerie that when I move she follows me as though she knows exactly where I am.", "COPELAND: That's because she can see you.", "BOOTH: It's a window, Bones, it's not a two-way mirror.", "BRENNAN: Oh.", "BOOTH: Right.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps I can wait in some other part of your facility?", "COPELAND: Yes, certainly.", "BRENNAN: This isn't really a good use of my time.", "(Sweets and Booth enter the interrogation room)", "SWEETS: (To orderly allowing them inside the room) Thank you. Neviah, could you describe to me the process by which you create your paintings?", "NEVIAH: God guides my hand.", "SWEETS: I would imagine God guides all of your actions, right, you being an angel.", "NEVIAH: I only exist to do his will.", "BOOTH: Did you know that Neal Lowery is dead?", "NEVIAH: Of course. God told me.", "BOOTH: God told you.", "SWEETS: Does God speak to you? Does he come to you in visions?", "NEVIAH: He takes over my body and performs his miracles through me.", "BOOTH: Did you kill Neal?", "NEVIAH: He was a demon. I am an avenging angel. It was my duty. I used the Holy lance.", "SWEETS: Same as in the painting.", "NEVIAH: Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: And where is this lance now?", "NEVIAH: It's right here. (Indicates empty table)", "SWEETS: Oh, it's invisible.", "BOOTH: Right. It's gonna be hard to get fingerprints off that.", "(Brennan is in the common room observing the patients. A man pushing a cart approaches her)", "PHILLIP: Hello. Can I offer you, juice, cookies? Uh, perhaps a nice serotonin reuptake inhibitor?", "BRENNAN: (Laughs) Thank you, but I just ate.", "PHILLIP: (Shakes her hand) I'm Dr. Phillip Womack.", "BRENNAN: I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan. Temperance will be fine.", "PHILLIP: Beautiful name. Unfortunately most patients here don't exhibit much temperance, hence the need to fill them with drugs.", "BRENNAN: Well I would probably medicate as well if I was forced to interact with psychiatrists all day, no offence.", "PHILLIP: Well, none taken. Ours is a subjective profession that often marginalizes that importance of empirical data.", "BRENNAN: It is refreshing to meet a psychiatrist with such a grounded perspective.", "PHILLIP: Hmm. But I assure you we have been getting very good results with psychopharmacology as well as electroconvulsive therapy. Perhaps you'd like to see?", "BRENNAN: I would enjoy that immensely.", "PHILLIP: (Leading her away) Who knows? I may be able to convert you to the wonders of psychiatry. (Brennan laughs)", "COPELAND: Hello Phillip. I see you've met Dr. Brennan.", "PHILLIP: Yes.", "COPELAND: Where were you two going?", "BRENNAN: Oh, Dr. Womack was going to show me around.", "COPELAND: I don't know if now is the time, Phillip. Lloyd is distributing the medication.", "PHILLIP: Yes, I should assist. Perhaps later, Temperance.", "BRENNAN: I'd like that.", "(Phillip exits)", "COPELAND: Did Phillip try to cure you of anything?", "BRENNAN: He's a patient?", "COPELAND: For almost 6 years now. Believe it or not he came a long way before plateauing with this delusion.", "BRENNAN: (Observing Phillip) I thought we had quite a lot in common.", "PHILLIP: (Distantly, to a patient) That's right.", "(Arastoo and Cam are in the lab with the remains)", "CAM: Did you find cause of death?", "ARASTOO: Looks like the victim was struck in the frontal bone with a weapon approximately 2 centimeters in diameter, possibly the same object that struck him in the ribs.", "CAM: Okay, so we've got a fracture to the forehead...", "ARASTOO: And a Colles fracture on the right distal radius.", "CAM: All delivered by an invisible heavenly lance.", "ARASTOO: If it was invisible it struck with a mighty force. What if, despite her insanity, what the young woman saw was, in fact, evil?", "CAM: So you do believe in the Devil.", "ARASTOO: As I said.", "CAM: No, you told me what your religion says.", "ARASTOO: I know Shaitan to be real. I've been in his presence. I look into his eyes every day. (Cam looks uncomfortable) I should put my efforts towards identifying the weapon.", "CAM: Yes. That would be... good.", "(Sweets and Angela are studying Neviah's painting)", "SWEETS: Jung believed that art provides an insight into the unconscious.", "ANGELA: Yeah, no, I know the drill. I assisted an art therapist in college. You can take one look at Van Gough's \"Starry Night\" with the dark blues and the violent brush strokes? It's no wonder he killed himself after painting it. But Neviah's work seems conflicted. The central image is straight out of Hieronymus Bosch, but the background is full of warm and vibrant colors. And her brushstrokes are calm. There's no turmoil or rage in her work.", "SWEETS: It could indicate a cold, measured person. Disconnected from an emotional life that's too painful to confront.", "ANGELA: Hold on. This is weird. (Indicates the painting) The topography of the paint is unusually thick right here. This could mean that there's something underneath the image. Sometimes when an artist bowdlerizes their own work, infrared refrectography can show us what's under the paint.", "SWEETS: Oh. Wow. That's uh, that's one of the nurses, from the hospital.", "ANGELA: He's a demon.", "SWEETS: Who has just killed the Devil. Neal Lowery.", "ANGELA: I don't think you need Jung to figure this one out.", "(Outside Havenhurst, Lloyd approaches in his car)", "SECURITY GUARD: Hold up, Lloyd!", "BOOTH: Hey, there, Lloyd, how's it going?", "LLOYD: Hey.", "BOOTH: Turn off your vehicle?", "LLOYD: Sure. What are you doing here? Checking out security tapes to see if Neal vamoosed through the front door?", "BOOTH: (Holds up photo of Neviah's painting) You recognize this picture?", "LLOYD: You're not seriously treating this as real evidence are you?", "BOOTH: What's your relationship with Neal Lowery?", "LLOYD: (Scoffs) I was nice to the guy, that's my job. I'd - I'd like to go home.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, would you mind popping the trunk?", "LLOYD: What? No, not unless you've got a search warrant which I'm guessing you don't.", "BOOTH: Oh really? Look at this here. Excuse me, Bones. (points to sign) See? \"All visitors and employees agree to vehicle search on entry and exit\", so we don't need one, right Bones?", "BRENNAN: We don't need one.", "BOOTH: Excuse me (Reaches for car keys) let me just grab that for you. You stay nice and comfy in your chair there. (Walks to the trunk)", "BRENNAN: We found evidence of gangrene between Neal's toes. He was injecting something there. It's a common practice for heroin addicts.", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones, look at this! Guy's got his own personal dojo back here.", "BRENNAN: There appear to be the same diameter as the bruise on Neal Lowery's skull.", "BOOTH: Swords, nun chucks. (Opens compartment in trunk) Well, look at this. Drugs...and heroin. Looks like we found Neal Lowery's heroin dealer.", "ACT FOUR", "(Booth and Lloyd in interrogation room)", "LLOYD: None of that stuff's mine. I mean one of the patients must have planted it in my car.", "BOOTH: No, no. I really would not advise you going down that route.", "LLOYD: Well, it's the truth.", "BOOTH: The truth? Well you know what? We're going to find your fingerprints all over this stuff. So don't get caught in a lie.", "Right? Right. So why don't we start with the dorky martial arts stuff.", "LLOYD: Nun chuks and shuriken aren't dorky, all right? They're the weapons of a true master.", "BOOTH: You see the fact that you just called it \"shiruken\" just proves my dorky theory. So, drugs. Did you steal them from the hospital pharmacy?", "LLOYD: No, how do you know I didn't buy them from someone else who stole them?", "BOOTH: Okay, look. People say you're really a good guy.", "LLOYD: I am.", "BOOTH: Yeah, so, what do you say we try and tell the truth?", "LLOYD: Look, Neal's medications didn't work. Alright, the tranqs, and the antipsychotics, they turned him into a zombie, but they didn't make him feel any better.", "BOOTH: (Holding up bag of heroin) But, uh, this did?", "LLOYD: Yeah. Heroin removed his agitation. I mean for the first time you could talk to the guy.", "BOOTH: Hmm. How did Neal pay for the heroin?", "LLOYD: I took his meds in exchange.", "BOOTH: For your own use?", "LLOYD: No. No I volunteer at a community outreach for the homeless. A lot of those people need meds.", "BOOTH: You see? You really are a good guy.", "LLOYD: Yeah, I am. I am a good guy.", "BOOTH: You are a good guy. The only problem is, these nun chucks? They could probably be the murder weapon.", "LLOYD: Why would I kill Neal?", "BOOTH: It doesn't matter if you're a good guy. I mean you're a drug dealer. Drug dealers, they get into arguments with other clients.", "LLOYD: No, I was helping him.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw him?", "LLOYD: Uh, in the day room. We talked, and then later that evening his bother came looking for him but he was gone.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm. I'm still holding you under controlled substances.", "LLOYD: You believe I didn't kill Neal, right?", "BOOTH: It doesn't matter what I believe. It matters what I can prove.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(In Hodgin's office at the lab, Cam enters)", "CAM: Anything on the nun chucks?", "HODGINS: Hmm, they are completely clean. There are dents though, so they've been used.", "CAM: Can you rule them out as the murder weapon?", "HODGINS: Are you asking me to do an experiment?", "CAM: With (sighs) Arastoo...", "HODGINS: Why are you saying his name like that?", "CAM: Like what?", "HODGINS: \"Arastoo...\" You're chewing on his name.", "CAM: (Hushed) Arastoo says he looks at the Devil every day.", "HODGINS: Maybe he has low self-esteem.", "CAM: Or...you know what they call us right?", "HODGINS: \"They\" being...", "CAM: Muslims. Some Muslims, the ones over there trying to kill us.", "HODGINS: Yeah, they call us \"the Great Satan\"...oh.", "(Arastoo enters)", "ARASTOO: Look, here, what I found. Radiating micro-fractures in the cartilage of the victim's vestigial tail.", "CAM: Radiating micro-fractures plus a ruptured intestine?", "HODGINS: What does that mean?", "CAM: He was slammed into something.", "ARASTOO: Perhaps in fact he did wrestle with an archangel...and lose. As it should be, the Devil lost. As he always must. I will inform Dr. Brennan! (exits)", "CAM: \"The Devil lost?\"", "HODGINS: \"As he always must\"?", "CAM: What if Arastoo means us?", "HODGINS: Arastoo is a very sweet, gentle guy, you know?", "CAM: I know but that doesn't mean that in his heart he doesn't look down on us. Do you want to work with someone who thinks you're the Great Satan?", "HODGINS: No! I don't want to be the Great Satan! I don't even want to be a minor demon. You want me to talk to him?", "CAM: Yes. (Sighs) But unfortunately dopey interpersonal crap falls under my job description.", "(At Havenhurst in the day room)", "COPELAND: The discrepancies for the pharmacy have always been so small, well within breakage.", "SWEETS: We understand.", "BOOTH: We understand? Why do we understand?", "SWEETS: Well, Lloyd Robertson was a nurse practitioner. He had,uh, pharmacy privileges, right? He cooked the drug log.", "COPELAND: Patients liked Lloyd, the staff. He honestly wanted to help people. Or at least fooled me into thinking that was the case.", "BRENNAN: Well, so much for penetrating psychological insights.", "COPELAND: Can I speak to you for a moment?", "(Takes Brennan aside)", "COPELAND: I've listened to you take shots at my profession, and that's okay, I'm a big boy. A tolerant man. But I want you to think about something. I spend every working hour of every day trying to help people who are living in hell. That's an honorable way to spend a life. Perhaps more honorable than figuring out what happened to dead people who are already beyond pain and suffering.", "BRENNAN: Intentions, however misguided, do count, I understand that.", "COPELAND: I hope you won't think I'm too picky when I point out that that wasn't an actual apology. But perhaps it's the best you can manage. (they shake hands)", "BOOTH: Oh, look at that, you're shaking hands. Great, everyone's made up and we're friends now. Great.", "PHILLIP: (From across the room) No! (Knocks over med cart, is tackled by orderlies) Get away, get away!", "COPELAND: It's alright Phillip! Do you hear me? Just relax and let the medicine help. (Injects him)", "PHILLIP: It's not the right medicine! I need the right medicine!", "COPELAND: What's the right medicine, Phillip?", "PHILLIP: I want the medicine Lloyd gave me, where's Lloyd? I need the special medicine, I'm a doctor!", "COPELAND: Lloyd gave you special medicine?", "PHILLIP: I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor.", "BOOTH: We're gonna need to search this facility.", "BRENNAN: I apologize, Dr. Copeland, I apologize for undervaluing your work.", "(Hodgins and Arastoo are on the forensic platform)", "HODGINS: (wheeling a crash test dummy) Test number one. Now, I've placed sensors in this dummy to register the impacts of the nun chuck strikes. (Bows to crash test dummy, feigns being a ninja)", "ARASTOO: Dr. Hodgins, with nun chucks it's very important that you...", "(Hodgins strikes himself with a nun chuk in the head)", "HODGINS: Oh! (falls)", "ARASTOO: Are you alright?", "HODGINS: Son of a bitch!", "ARASTOO: As I was saying, nun chuks are deceptively difficult to maneuver if you've had no practice. (Hodgins groans) May I?", "HODGINS: Huh, okay, well...knock yourself out, I did. (Arastoo takes the nun chuks, wields them perfectly and strikes the dummy) What are you some kind of Persian ninja? (Crawls to monitor, the screen is blurry) That can't be right. (Covers one eye) Oh, okay, yeah, no that's better.", "ARASTOO: Was this the murder weapon?", "HODGINS: Uh, the diameter of the weapon matches, but, see, okay, nun chuks swing on an axis, because of the chain, right, which means the force increases exponentially along the length of the striking surface.", "ARASTOO: But the victim's wound was proportional along the length of the weapon.", "HODGINS: If Lloyd, the drug dealing nurse, killed Neal, the demonic schizophrenic, then this was not the weapon.", "ACT FIVE", "(Sweets has Phillip in the interrogation room at Havenhurst)", "SWEETS: So how long have you been practicing psychiatry, Dr. Womack?", "PHILLIP: Well, longer than you have, Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: Yes, my youth has often been an obstacle to gaining trust", "with patients.", "PHILLIP: That's why I often pretend to be one of them.", "SWEETS: Oh, that's interesting. Okay, so in order to gain trust from the patients at the ward, you pretend to be mentally ill yourself.", "PHILLIP: I'm a natural actor. It helped Lloyd cooperated and treated me like I was a patient instead of his immediate superior.", "SWEETS: What about Dr. Copeland?", "PHILLIP: Ethan is a very fine psychiatrist, but he's very conservative when it comes to the distinction between doctor and patient.", "SWEETS: A traditionalist?", "PHILLIP: Yes, exactly, Dr. Sweets, exactly.(To Copeland) I'm sorry, Ethan, but this is an official investigation and I must be honest.", "SWEETS: So you and Lloyd Robertson treated Neal Lowery together?", "PHILLIP: Only with regard to medication. Neal and I shared a few secrets I did not divulge - patient confidentiality.", "SWEETS: I don't suppose you'd tell me what?", "PHILLIP: No, I couldn't possibly. I breached patient confidentiality once and I still feel bad about it.", "SWEETS: Hmm was this regarding Neal Lowery or...?", "PHILLIP: I'm sorry Dr. Sweets. I have nothing whatsoever to say on the matter. It's closed. I'll ask that you extend me that professional courtesy.", "SWEETS: Sure.", "(Cam and Arastoo are in the bone examination room)", "CAM: You found something?", "ARASTOO: Yes. Cause of death.", "CAM: Excellent, what was happened?", "ARASTOO: First I'd like to clarify something. After we talked about my beliefs you were clearly upset.", "CAM: What? No that's not... true.", "ARASTOO: My words could have been construed as a Muslim referring to America as the Great Satan.", "CAM: I'm not familiar with that phrase. Could we get back to this?", "ARASTOO: I found micro-fractures on the metacarpals on the same arm with the Colles fracture. I love this country Dr. Saroroyan.", "When I said I see the Devil's face daily... You know I served as a translator in Iraq? Normal day milk run to an outlying village to talk about water and an IED took out our Humvee.", "CAM: Oh my God.", "ARASTOO: Two dead, three wounded and I was the only one left conscious. I'm a translator, I use words, but coming towards us with an AK-47, an insurgent. He raised it intending to finish us off.", "CAM: And that was the Devil?", "ARASTOO: No no. I shot this man in the heart. The Devil, that evil, I saw it in his eyes, sure, but it was in me too when I pulled that trigger.", "CAM: You were defending your unit Mr. Vaziri.", "ARASTOO: This man lay dead at my feet. I searched his body for identification and I found a photograph of him with his little boy, his wife laughing. A family. Tell me that the Devil did not win on that day.", "CAM: You didn't lose your faith. You pray five times a day.", "ARASTOO: I have to believe that Allah will show me how to live. (He goes to the body) I found micro-fractures on the maxillary and mandibular.", "CAM: He was electrocuted?", "ARASTOO: The current must have passed through his hand, traveled across his body, then out his backside.", "CAM: It was the muscle spasms that caused his intestines to rupture. I should let Dr. Brennan know right away.", "ARASTOO: Of course.", "CAM: I did...think that - wonder if you considered us to be the Great Satan. I am familiar with that phrase.", "ARASTOO: I know. I was there when you told Dr. Hodgins that his t-shirt which read: \"I am with the Great Satan\" is not suitable work attire.", "(Sweets and Brennan are outside Havenhurst with Copeland)", "SWEETS: Was Neal Lowery receiving shock therapy?", "COPELAND: No, why?", "BRENNAN: Neal Lowery died from being electrocuted.", "COPELAND: Oh, ECT equipment generates a maximum 225 volts. And there's a failsafe mechanism.", "BRENNAN: Our analysis indicates that Neal Lowery endured an extended shock of at least 480 volts. Is there anywhere in this complex where 480 volts might be generated?", "COPELAND: I think it would be best if we get an electrical engineer to answer that.", "SWEETS: There's a guy in Ward 4 who believes he's Thomas Edison. (Brennan laughs, Copeland looks unamused) Sorry.", "(Brennan, Hodgins, and Angela are in Angela's office)", "ANGELA: These are the electrical plans for the retrofit that was completed at Havenhurst 15 years ago.", "HODGINS: All the wiring and the breakers, there's nothing morethan 225 volts.", "ANGELA: Well I'm scanning the original plans. And they're from 1908. (the scans of the plans appear on the screen) Okay. So on the original blueprints there was a fourwire 600 volt transformer in the basement. The southwest corner of the basement where the old generator is installed was sealed off.", "HODGINS: Except for these all-access panels.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but they'd need those in case of a fire.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Copeland said that Neal Lowery had a knack for searching out nooks and crannies to hide out in.", "(Brennan, Booth, Sweets, and Copeland are in the basement of Havenhurst)", "BRENNAN: Okay the access panel should be down this corridor to the left.", "BOOTH: (Tries light switch, nothing happens) Oh, you got to be kidding me.", "SWEETS: Wait. (Pulls out Iphone and selects a \"flashlight\" app) Ha-ha! I also have an app that gives you songs titles. All you have to do is hum a few notes...", "BOOTH: Maybe later okay?", "BRENNAN: Okay, it should be behind all this. (Indicates pile of old equipment. Booth moves it aside and they all step through.)", "BOOTH: Look at that. Check this out. (Indicates drug paraphernalia on the floor) Someone was cooking heroin.", "SWEETS: So maybe Phillip follows Neal down here sees him using, decides to administer a little electroshock on the spot?", "BRENNAN: Burnt flesh on the transformer. And blood on the water pipe. Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "COPELAND: Oh my God.", "BRENNAN: The electrical circuit must have been completed when Neal backed into this water pipe.", "SWEETS: (Flashes phone over a bloodied pipe) Look what I found.", "(Booth discovers a hanging chain for a red light bulb. He pulls the chain and the room is bathed in red light, revealing the words \"Welcome to Hell\" written on the wall in what appears to be blood.)", "BOOTH: \"Welcome to Hell\".", "ACT SIX", "(Brennan, Sweets, and Angela are In Angela's office)", "ANGELA: I ran a simulation of the electrocution based on the current that was generated by the equipment at Havenhurst. (Runs the simulation, Neal survives the electrocution.)", "SWEETS: Wait, but he's not dead.", "ANGELA: Yeah I know. Based on Neal's age and weight plus the clothes he was wearing, that current would've thrown him clear. He should have survived.", "BRENNAN: Plus the muscular contortions and spasms were nowhere near violent enough to fracture his wrist.", "SWEETS: So, then what happened?", "BRENNAN: What if Neal Lowery wasn't wearing his rubber-soled boots?", "ANGELA: Okay, give me a second.", "SWEETS: You know I just don't think that someone who just shot himself up with heroin is likely to uh, put his boots on.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "SWEETS: Well 'cause he's \"on the nod\". That means that he uh, vomits and succumbs to the euphoria.", "ANGELA: Wow, listen to you, all \"street\".", "BRENNAN: Maybe Phillip administered the heroin to Neal as though it were some kind of legitimate medicine.", "SWEETS: No, between the toes, that's not legitimate.", "ANGELA: The guy is crazy, Sweets.", "SWEETS: But he's consistent. Phillip operates rationally behind his delusions. He believes he's a doctor.", "BRENNAN: Angela can you call up a photo of Neal's boots as they were found on the remains?", "ANGELA: Mm-hmm.", "BRENNAN: (approaches the screen and points) Uh, here.", "ANGELA: Okay, lemme get in closer.", "BRENNAN: Neal Lowery was left-handed, he didn't tie these shoes.", "SWEETS: What? How can you tell?", "BRENNAN: Well, a left-handed person double knotting, the second knot would loop behind. This one loops in front.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but still, it must have been a left-handed person that tied the knot. Only, he or she must have been facing the victim.", "SWEETS: Oh, that is amazing. I think, it's al- it's also very confusing.", "ANGELA: I am ready to run the simulation with the boots removed from the equation. (Runs the simulation, this time Neal is killed.)", "BRENNAN: That's it. He was electrocuted first, and then his boots put back on after he was dead.", "SWEETS: Double knots, that's the way someone would treat a child.", "ANGELA: I say we're looking for somebody left-handed.", "BRENNAN: I say the killer may have left his or her DNA on the laces.", "(Sweets is with Erica in the observation room at the FBI office. Gabe is behind the window in the interrogation room.)", "ERICA: It's not possible. It's just not possible. Gabe wouldn't kill his brother.", "SWEETS: Mrs. Lowery, what you and your family have went through, it's almost unbearable.", "ERICA: Gabe loved his brother, why would he do such a thing?", "SWEETS: We know that Gabe went to visit Neal the night he disappeared. We believe that there was another patient named Phillip who told Gabe about Neal's hide out in the basement. Gabe found Neal shooting up heroin. Gabe struck Neal with a pipe, Neal fell back into a transformer and was electrocuted.", "ERICA: But the church? The burning on the altar?", "SWEETS: We all become angry at God sometimes Mrs. Lowery.", "ERICA: Who could blame him? Why did God do this to my family? We were good people. And then...this.", "SWEETS: I'm sorry for your pain.", "ERICA: You? You can't even imagine my pain.", "(Booth and Brennan are at the diner, drinking coffee)", "BRENNAN: I need to ask you some things.", "BOOTH: You gonna ask me about God and the Devil?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: You're going to ask me how God could place such a burden on good people.", "BRENNAN: No, I'm going to ask you how you can still believe in a kind God after a case like this.", "BOOTH: Was my faith shaken? Yeah. Mm-hmm. It is.", "BRENNAN: It is?", "BOOTH: Yeah. I'll go home tonight and I'll lie in bed, and I'll toss, and I'll turn, and I'll beat myself up, and uh...I'll question everything.", "BRENNAN: Will you get your faith back?", "BOOTH: Always have in the past.", "BRENNAN: So you have faith that you will retain your faith. (Booth nods) Why?", "BOOTH: Because, Bones, it's...the sun will come up, and tomorrow's a new day.", "BRENNAN: (laughs) I know that feeling.", "BOOTH: Really?", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: You know what it feels like to get your faith back?", "BRENNAN: When I see effects and I am unable to discern the cause, my faith in reason and consequences is shaken.", "BOOTH: And then what happens?", "BRENNAN: Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look, I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause. Even if I can't see it. I find that reassuring.", "BOOTH: And life is good again.", "BRENNAN: Life is very good.", "BOOTH: Yes it is. (Both laugh)", "END." ]

[ "While Dr. Sweets is on a subway train, a stranger tells him he has just been cured of leukemia , then the train is thrown off its tracks as a water main breaks, causing havoc inside the train leading to death of the man who had just been cured of cancer. The accident exposes a skeleton that was caused by the flooding, leading Booth and Brennan to investigate. With the release of Brennan's fourth book, a reporter ( Seiko Matsuda ) interviews her for a Japanese magazine and follows her and the team around. Sweets deals with the near-death experience feeling it was a message to live his life fully, leading him to make a decision about his relationship with Daisy." ]

[ "(Open: Rock Creek subway Tunnel. Sweets is sitting and listening to his ipod when the guy next to him receives a text message and sits down next to him. Shocked. He starts to tear up.)", "SWEETS: Uh, excuse me. Are you all right?", "MARCO: Yes. Yes. Yes, thanks. Yes, in fact, I'm great. I've been fighting leukemia for the past eight years and now I just got a text; I'm cancer free.", "SWEETS: That's awesome. Congratulations, man.", "MARCO: It's... Oh, my God. I've been on hold for almost half my life. No more. No. I'm gonna travel, I-I'm going to sleep with exotic women in exotic places, I-I'm gonna do anything I want.", "SWEETS: Hey, that sounds like a good plan. Congrats, man.", "(He shakes Marco's hand.)", "(Cut to: Founding Father. Booth and Brennan are meeting with Riku Iwanaga. She has come all the way from Japan to interview Brennan about her latest book, Bone of Contention.)", "BRENNAN: Ms. Iwanaga has come all the way over from Japan just to interview me about my new book.", "BOOTH: So her book is big in Japan, too?", "RIKU IWANAGA: Yes, very popular. Spine-tingling.", "BOOTH: Spine-tingling is good, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Well - well, except when it indicates a dangers nerve disorder. Well, she's also interested in how you work.", "BOOTH: Oh, sure. As long as we keep you safe.", "RIKU IWANAGA: That is what Agent Andy would say in your books.", "(The building starts to shake)", "RIKU IWANAGA: It is an earthquake.", "BOOTH: No, no, no, no. It's not earthquake. This - this isn't California.", "BRENNAN: Well, in both 1811 and 1812, large tremors shook D.C. And again in 1828. (The building shakes again, harder this time) We can discuss this later...", "BOOTH: Okay, that's pretty... Whoa.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Cam is entering the building as it starts to shake)", "(Cut to: Rock Creek subway Tunnel. The car is shaking, water is spurting out of places and the workers are fleeing the area)", "MAN IN SUBWAY CAR: What's going on?", "TUNNEL WORKER #1: Let's get out of there! The main water valve just broke! Go! Go! It's a flood!", "(Water starts pouring into the tunnel. The subway car rides right through the flood of water and a body washes up against the window. Sweets and Marco see it.)", "MARCO: Oh, my God. What the hell is that?!", "(The car starts to shake and the passengers are thrown around. Marco hits his head on the pole and falls to the ground. Sweets gets on the ground, pulls him into his lap and checks for a pulse. Marco's dead.)", "(Cut to: Tunnels. A few hours later. Marco's body is being put into a body bag as Sweets watches from the side. Booth and Brennan arrive at the crime scene.)", "BOOTH: Look, there's Sweets.", "BRENNAN: Oh, he looks very upset.", "BOOTH: Well, when I talked to him, he said the guy died in his arms.", "COLIN CASEY: You guys with the FBI?", "BOOTH: FBI, yeah. We're here about the, uh, human remains.", "COLIN CASEY: That's him right over there.", "BRENNAN: No, uh, the skeleton.", "COLIN CASEY: Oh, right. Uh, Officer Grant. She can help you.", "BOOTH: All right, I'll tell you what, I'll meet up with you. I'm gonna go see Sweets.", "COLIN CASEY: Officer McKenna Grant is just right over there.", "BRENNAN: Thanks.", "TUNNEL WORKER #2: Bring me a line - get that pump working again.", "(Booth is by Sweets)", "BOOTH: You all right?", "SWEETS: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.", "BOOTH: You don't look fine.", "SWEETS: Oh, it's..you know, a whole subway car full of people and uh, worst injury is a broken arm, except for this guy.", "BOOTH: I can see that.", "SWEETS: I was just talking to him, um, when-when it hit and he just beat cancer.", "BOOTH: Alright, look. I tell you what...just go over here and have a seat. Try to relax.", "SWEETS: I, uh. You know, h-he talked about traveling and sleeping with exotic women, and he was gone - just like that.", "BOOTH: Just have a seat, alright? Just relax, alright? And I'm gonna go check on Bones and I'll come back and I'll take you to the office, alright?", "SWEETS: That's fine.", "BOOTH: Okay?", "SWEETS: Uh, huh. It's no problem.", "(Officer McKenna Grant is showing Brennan to the body when Booth joins them)", "OFFICER MCKENNA GRANT: Your friend said the skeleton washed up against the train window; would have freaked me out.", "BRENNAN: Booth, this is Officer Grant with the transit police.", "BOOTH: The water mains..they broke all through the city.", "OFFICER GRANT: Yeah and this station was closed for construction, that's probably why it flooded like that.", "BRENNAN: This is a male. Early 30s. Dead at least a week. Probably washed out in the tunnel when the main broke.", "RIKU IWANAGA: This could be quite a thrilling opening for your next book.", "BOOTH: Yeah. What did she say?", "BRENNAN: Never mind.", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.)", "BRENNAN: There are striations on the bones from animals scavenging.", "DAISY: Probably rats from the subway tunnel. That explains why there so little tissue left.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Like the remains in your book Bred in the Bone.", "BRENNAN: Oh, no. Those remains were eaten by weasels, not rats. It's a different genus altogether, although dentition is similar.", "CAM: There's some kind of viscous film on the humerus and scapula. I'll take a swab for Hodgins.", "ANGELA: So, other than the cancer survivor who died in Sweets' subway car, there were no other fatalities; just a couple chimneys down and some stuff falling off the shelves. Really rotten luck for that poor guy...and this one, too, apparently.", "ANGELA: (noticing Riku) Hello. I'm Angela Montenegro.", "BRENNAN: Oh, Ms. Iwanaga is interviewing me for a Japanese magazine.", "(They bow)", "RIKU IWANAGA: In her books, you must be Amanda.", "ANGELA: Oh, well, I have a lot more fun than Amanda.", "BRENNAN: Angela, perhaps you could take Ms.Iwanaga to my office. We can discuss my book a little later.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Of course.", "ANGELA: Right this way.", "(Sweets enters the platform)", "DAISY: Lance? What are you doing here?", "SWEETS: I came to offer my-my services. Earthquakes can cause psychological trauma.", "DAISY: Yes, for you, baby. What you've been through...", "SWEETS: I'm fine, Daisy.", "CAM: Sweets, you saw somebody die.", "DAISY: I know my Lancelot. You needed to see me, didn't you?", "SWEETS: No, I'm just trying to do my job.", "DAISY: (dejected) Oh.", "BRENNAN: Booth told you to go home. He knows about things like this, Sweets.", "CAM: We'll call if we need you, I promise. We'll have Hodgins drive you home.", "(Sweets hesistates but then walks away)", "DAISY: Bye, Lancelot.", "(He waves goodbye. Daisy is upset that Sweets is upset and won't talk to her)", "BRENNAN: Note the victim's clavicle.", "CAM: It's dented.", "DAISY: And blue.", "BRENNAN: There's also a blue nick on the C-7.", "CAM: Something blue pierced his clavicle and went through to the back of his neck. That would have sliced through the carotid artery.", "BRENNAN: Ms. Wick, take molds of the clavicle for a possible weapon and swab the blue pigment for Hodgins.", "(Cut to: Hodgin's Car. Hodgins is giving Sweets a ride home)", "SWEETS: You didn't have to give me a lift. I have a car.", "HODGINS: Seeing someone die, Sweets..you don't just go on with your day after something like that.", "SWEETS: Right, of course. I was just... you know,I thought i-if I could help other people, then...", "HODGINS: Yes, but you know, sometimes you can't.", "SWEETS: Eight years of chemo and radiation. He said he was going to do all the things that he'd been putting off, and then he was gone.", "HODGINS: I'm sorry, man.", "SWEETS: I just don't... I don't want to disappear without living the life that I want to live.", "HODGINS: Well, hey, how about you start by taking the afternoon off?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Angela is in Brennan's office with Riku)", "RIKU IWANAGA: Amanda is the best friend of Dr. Reichs in the books. Are you also friends with Dr.Brennan?", "ANGELA: Absolutely, yeah, we're, uh, we're best friends.", "RIKU IWANAGA: I see. Amanda once had s*x with Agent Andy. Then I assume you also have...", "ANGELA: Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no. Not-not me. (Riku writes something down) Wha-what are you writing there? Stop writing. The books and life are not the same thing. Most of the time.", "(Brennan enters)", "BRENNAN: Okay, Ms. Iwanaga. I'm all yours.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Excellent. Dr.Reichs' relationship with Agent Andy is based on you and Booth. The quite notorious s*x life they share and...", "BRENNAN: What? No, we are not them. They're fiction. (Riku writes something down) Wha-what are you writing? Uh, you stard writing before I answered.", "ANGELA: She loves to write.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Your readers feel the passion...", "BRENNAN: My readers appreciate the intricate plots and the unique forensics. Why aren't you writing that down? That was interesting; what I just said.", "(Daisy enters)", "DAISY: Dr.Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Ms. Wick.", "DAISY: I found a tooth in the victim's scapula. Oh, my gosh. Am I interrupting?", "BRENNAN: A tooth? I'm sorry, Ms. Iwanaga. We can continue this later. Uh, gomen nasai.", "(Brennan leaves)", "RIKU IWANAGA: Do you and Amanda share an interest in painting?", "ANGELA: Yes...(Riku starts writing again)..but listen, that does not mean that I had a thing with a Norwegian prince. You got that, right? That Amanda and I are different people? Belgian and Norwegian are not at all the same thing. Believe me.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform)", "DAISY: There. In the coracoid process. At first, I thought it was some kind of mineralized connective tissue, but then I remembered in your book, Dr. Reichs is confounded by the anomalous 13th rib.", "BRENNAN: Note how you are able to retain the important facts from the book.", "CAM: And what does all of this mean?", "It's definitely a tooth. I tested it - a canine. And look here -he's missing his canine.", "BRENNAN: Well, Someone extracted his tooth and surgically implanted it in his scapula?", "CAM: Okay, if that's his tooth, what's that in the middle of it?", "BRENNAN: Modified Osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis", "CAM: Of course. It's a new surgery to restore sight.", "DAISY: In your shoulder?", "BRENNAN: They use the tooth as an anchor for a prosthetic lens.", "CAM: So the victim was blind.", "BRENNAN: This is a rare operation. We should contact ophthalmologists in the area. One of them can probably ID the victim.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: I identified the blue substance on his bones as a polymer: paint or rubber, maybe dye. That's why I'd like to go searching for rat poop.", "CAM: Of course you'd like that.", "BRENNAN: Yes, the victim was eaten by rats in the subway tunnels.", "DAISY: Rat excrement will contain not only inorganic clues but digested remains from the victim. That could give vs time of death, too.", "CAM: Go for it.", "HODGINS: Well, I'll need some help. (to Daisy) You seem to know your poop.", "(Cut to: Subway tunnels. Hodgins and Daisy are looking for a rats nest. Daisy is taking pictures.)", "DAISY: Did you get to the part in Bone of Contention where Kathy has to swim through the sewage tunnel looking for the killer's teeth?", "HODGINS: Da, da, da, da, da. I'm on page three so far. I've been busy with the murder.", "DAISY: I speed-read.", "HODGINS: Yeah, of course you do. Hey! Rat poop. Let's bag that, okay? (he sees a rat) There's our furry little friends. Alright, there's gotta be a rat's nest nearby 'cause rat's stay close to home. So, keep your eyes open.", "DAISY: Here's a trail of fecal matter.", "HODGINS: Yep.", "DAISY: I think it's Dr.Brennan's best book. People think that scientists aren't romantic but Dr.Brennan has a knack for the steamy.", "HODGINS: Yeah, still waters run deep.", "DAISY: Wait until you get to page 187. It is H.O.T! She describes this move that Agent Andy makes. Lance and I tried it a few times, and oh my god. The neighbors complained.", "HODGINS: Rat poop, Miss Wick. Rat poop.", "DAISY: You have to check it out. Rat nest!", "HODGINS: Wow. As rat nests go, this is the mother ship. There's got to be some gift in here for us.", "DAISY: Ventilation grates. The body could've been dropped through there.", "HODGINS: Yeah, alright. Let's start bagging some excrement.", "DAISY: A white cane. Our victim was blind.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela & Daisy are sharing their findings with Cam.)", "ANGELA: Martin Aragon. 30 years old. Lives in Kingman Park.", "DAISY: His eye surgeon identified him.", "ANGELA: He's a scribe.", "CAM: I beg your pardon?", "ANGELA: Seriously, he wrote letters for a living. His, uh, business partner's name is Sophia Meade.", "DAISY: I don't like today one bit. This man was on the verge of maybe having his sight returned and Lance's dead friend from the subway just found out he was cured of leukemia.", "CAM: Yeah, it's ironic.", "DAISY: With all due respect, that's not irony. People may think it's irony but it's really just an unfortunate juxtaposition of events.", "ANGELA: Well, guess they're gonna need a shorter word for that.", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers. Brennan is having lunch with Riku.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Dr.Brennan, why doesn't Agent Andy wear a \"cocky\" belt buckle?", "BRENNAN: Because Andy isn't Booth but why does everyone think that?", "RIKU IWANAGA: Agent Booth thinks he is. He says they are both brave and attractive.", "BRENNAN: Well, he's wrong.", "RIKU IWANAGA: You do not think he's attractive?", "BRENNAN: Uh, I think his symmetry is pleasing, yes but Ms. Iwanaga, the characters in my books are really only there to further the forensics.", "RIKU IWANAGA: I do not agree. The s*x is very involving.", "BRENNAN: Why does everyone think that? It's just s*x.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Imaginative s*x.", "BRENNAN: Okay, I only include that - and the personal interactions - to denote the passage of time. Wh-what are you writing? I only took conversational Japanese.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Hodgins is examining particulates under the microscope and Brennan's new book is sitting next to him on the desk. He picks up the book)", "HODGINS: Page 187. (he reads) Oh, my God.", "(Cam runs into Hodgins in the Hallway. He's on his way to see Angela.)", "CAM: Hodgins.", "One moment please. Personal privilege, point of order.", "(Hodgins enters Angela's office holding up the book.)", "ANGELA: How's your rat poop?", "HODGINS: Page 187. Mind reading it aloud?", "ANGELA: Page 187? I am not reading the sparky bits to you. You can get somebody else to do that, sicko.", "HODGINS: Okay, fine. Read it to yourself then. (she starts to read) That's that thing that I do. Nobody else does that thing. It's my thing that I do. Right. It's not a well-known thing. It's, you know, my thing that I do.", "ANGELA: Right, I remember. I was there.", "HODGINS: You told Brennan about that thing I do.", "ANGELA: It's a very good thing.", "HODGINS: It's my thing. That I do. Did you tell her that it was my thing?", "ANGELA: You mean, did I give you credit?", "HODGINS: Yes. Did you?", "ANGELA: No.", "HODGINS: Good, 'cause I don't need her looking at me thinking about.. that thing I do.", "ANGELA: Well, that's good then.", "HODGINS: But now that thing I do is in print and every guy that reads that book is gonna give it a shot. (he sighs) Oh, well. You know I got other things that I do. My advice: only sleep with guys that can't read 'cause otherwise, you'll never be rid of me.", "(He leaves)", "(Cut to: Bone Room. Daisy is handing Brennan a skull when...)", "DAISY: I'm very worried about Lance. I didn mean say that out loud. I just thought it so hard that it popped out of my mouth.", "BRENNAN: Apology accepted.", "DAISY: That guy dying right in front of him really freaked him out. He's very sensitive, not inured to death and mortality like you and I are.", "BRENNAN: The pattern of this pitting...I believe it resulted from blowback.", "DAISY: From a gunshot?", "BRENNAN: Most probably.", "DAISY: The victim was shot with a gun and was standing in front of something glass.", "BRENNAN: Which shattered and blew back into his skull.", "DAISY: The bullet must've been blue. Are there such things as blue bullets? That's for me to find out, right? Yes. 'Cause that's my job.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth is talking with Sophia Meade, Martin Aragon's business partner.)", "SOPHIA MEADE: Martin and I have been business partners for six years. We've been writing letters for people since we got out of college.", "BOOTH: How did he adjust to the fact that he was going blind?", "SOPHIA: He loved reading and writing more than anything. The past couple of years he's been very down and depressed. That's why he got the operation.", "BOOTH: Listen, how does this whole, uh, professional letter writing thing, work?", "SOPHIA: Well, most people are unable to express themselves in a cogent manner; Martin and I know how to do that.", "BOOTH: Does it pay well?", "SOPHIA: $50 a page for simple letters.", "BOOTH: 50 bucks?", "SOPHIA: $250 for legalese.", "BOOTH: So, uh, someone owes me money...", "SOPHIA: You come to us, yes. Or if you got bad service, letters to the editor, congressmen even Dear John letters.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw your partner?", "SOPHIA: Last week. We don't work together every day. I have kids. I work from home.", "BOOTH: So, uh, clients- did they ever want their money back?", "SOPHIA: We have dissatisfied customers like any business but none's ever threatened us. You're welcome to look at our archives.", "BOOTH: Oh, so you have copies of everything.", "SOPHIA: Yes, on disk.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. A few hours later. Sweets & Booth are looking at the letters)", "BOOTH: God, our victim was an expert on eveything. I mean, look at all these letters here: parking tickets, income tax, court orders, the whole thing. I mean, it's getting to a pot where I'd want to kill him too. Sweets?", "SWEETS: Yeah, yeah. Sorry.", "BOOTH: You sure you're ready to come back to work?", "SWEETS: Yeah, I'm fine.", "BOOTH: You know, that guy on the subway? Another way to look at it is, um, that he died happy.", "SWEETS: What?", "BOOTH: Well, I mean, think about it. This guy gets this great news and what's he do? He shares it with a stranger.", "SWEETS: You're gonna think I'm stupid for saying this but the whole thing...it felt like a message.", "BOOTH: Right, a message. I believe in messages.", "SWEETS: Yeah, it was like a message. \"Go ye forth and live life to the fullest.\" Something like that.", "BOOTH: Live life to its fullest.", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: People should do that more often. Moment to moment, day to day but they don't. (Booth finds something on the screen) Wait till you see this. Look at this letter right here. A letter actually written by the victim. I mean, it's written by him and signed, uh, signed by him.", "SWEETS: He's complaining about a sandwich frahchise. Says it's disgusting and should be shut down.", "BOOTH: What? Yeah, but you know what? Keep reading; he kept the reply.", "SWEETS: (reading) \"You're destroying my career and my living. People have been killed for less.\" (to Booth) It's a death threat.", "BOOTH: It's a death threat.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Hodgins has a display set up)", "HODGINS: I put together a time line made out of rat poop.", "CAM: And now I'm in a sixth-grade science fair.", "HODGINS: The oldest poop, containing human remains, dates from seven days ago. Now, I also found this.", "CAM: Is that the color that was found on the bones?", "HODGINS: Mhm. The same sub-micrometer blue polymer base material. Now, I'm running a scan companies at manufacture it to see if it's ever been used for ammunition and check this out. Also found this.", "CAM: Is that leather?", "HODGINS: Mhm, it's a piece from the sole of a shoe.", "CAM: The victim's?", "HODGINS: No. His we matched with DNA. This leather was found in a rat's stomach along with bits of the victim. They were ingested at the same time.", "CAM: This could've come from whoever killed Martin Aragon. What do you know. King of the lab.", "HODGINS: Wow! That's a first. Usually I have to say it.", "CAM: Yes, but I wanted to hear how it sounded with a touch of modesty.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Stewart Bonder is sitting at the table. Booth enters.)", "BOOTH: Stewart, hello. So, I spoke to Sammy's corporate office. I found out you lost your franchise in Rock Creek last month.", "STEWART BONDER: What's this about?", "BOOTH: They said at they pulled the plug on you because you got into, uh, what they called a, uh, altercation with one of the customers there. You two fought.", "STEWART: Oh, yeah. That blind creep, Aragon. He comes in twice a week for three months. One day he gets sick and it's my fault. Those letters, they was just some kind of crazy vendetta. So, what's this? Son of a bitch coming after me again?", "BOOTH: He's dead. He was murdered.", "STEWART: Well, then someone did the world a favor but it wasn't me. That b*st*rd cost me over $100,000. I lost everything.", "BOOTH: You wrote him back. Saying you'd kill him if he didn't stop writing to the head office.", "STEWART: Ho-hold on, man. That's just something that you say, okay? I was going under. My wife left me. I offered him five free lunches but nothing was good enough for him.", "Where were you last Thursday night? Anywhere near Rock Creek subway station?", "STEWART: Why?", "BOOTH: Why? A second ago you're happy he's dead, now you don't want to tell me anything?", "STEWART: Man! Even from the grave this dude is ruining my life. Hey, look, I don't have to say nothing. I-I want one of those court-appointed lawyers.", "BOOTH: Sure. Okay. Take about a couple of hours. Sit tight.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Brennan and Riko are talking)", "BRENNAN: I believe my books are popular because they introduce the reader to the world of forensic anthropology. Why aren't you writing? You uslly write down everything.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Why did it take so long for Dr.Reichs to have s*x with Agent Andy?", "BRENNAN: For the same reason that she used stable isotos to determine that the victim spent her childhood in East Timor. The oxygen isotopes we ingest through food and water are incorporated into the hydroxyl carbonic apatite of bone. You-you should be writing this down.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Will she ever tell Andy about her affair with Ryan?", "BRENNAN: That was inconsequential fluff, Ms. Iwanaga.", "RIKU IWANAGA: It's why they fight in chapter six.", "BRENNAN: Well, they identify the lotus tooth in chapter six.", "RIKU IWANAGA: That is when their passion is released: page 187.", "BRENNAN: Why are you only asking about things that mean nothing?", "RIKU IWANAGA: Those are the things that mean everything.", "(Cut to: Street - Day. Booth and Brennan are walking.)", "BRENNAN: All anyone cares about are the characters.", "BOOTH: Well, it's what they relate too, you know, makes the story real.", "BRENNAN: No. The facts make it real. They're indisputable.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, if you believed that, you wouldn't write it as well as you do.", "BRENNAN: Angela helps me with those scenes.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Angela helps me.", "BOOTH: Page 187?", "BRENNAN: Angela. Though, I'm anxious to try it.", "(She enters Founding Fathers)", "BOOTH: Really?", "(He follows)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Her and Sweets are going over the letters.)", "ANGELA: So, these are all the letters he was paid to write?", "SWEETS: Yeah, yeah, look at this one. (he reads) \"Your breath gives me life. We're joined by loves tender coil. Sight ruled by my heart alone.", "ANGELA: That is very romantic; somebody definitely got their money's worth.", "SWEETS: No, I-I don't think it was written for a stranger.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but, this is for the customer.", "SWEETS: Yeah, look.\"sight ruled by my heart alone.\" He was blind. It's about him.", "(Daisy enters.)", "DAISY: Lance. I heard you were here. I've been calling.", "SWEETS: I know. Um, I've busy doing lot of thinking, Daisy.", "DAISY: About what? I know something is bothering you. You have to share it with me.", "ANGELA: Uh, guys I'm gonna leave.", "SWEETS: (to Angela) No, you know what? We should work. (to Daisy) I'll call you. I'll call you.", "DAISY: Okay I'll... okay.", "(Daisy leaves)", "ANGELA: What's going on, Sweets?", "SWEETS: You know, I only have one life, Angela and I don't wan to play it safe, so..now I'd really like to work.", "ANGELA: Okay. I can check these e-mail headers to see who got this letters. maybe it was some love affair gone wrong. Okay,the server sent the message to this IP address. The remote desktop is open.", "SWEETS: Okay, what just happened?", "ANGELA: Uh...well, we now have full control over the computer that received these emails.", "SWEETS: Whoa, what did you just do?", "ANGELA: Turned the web cam on.", "SWEETS: Hey, that is the manager at the subway station.", "ANGELA: Well, then that is who Martin Aragon sent the love letters to.", "(Cut to: Angela's Car - Day. Angela took Daisy out for a drive.)", "DAISY: Where are we going?", "ANGELA: Uh, Cam asked me get you out of the lab.", "DAISY: Why?", "ANGELA: Because you keep sighing and moaning.", "DAISY: Oh, I thought I was keeping that to myself.", "ANGELA: No, no. You were sharing with everyone.", "DAISY: Why do you drive a minivan? Do you have kids that we don't know about.", "ANGELA: I'm artist, Daisy and the Sienna has plenty of room. Plus, I stink at parallel parking and the back up camera thing is like the invention of the century. So why are you sighing and moaning, Daisy?", "DAISY: Because... Have you ever been dumped?", "ANGELA: Of course. Hasn't everybody?", "DAISY: Not me.", "ANGELA: Never?", "DAISY: Never. I'm smart, I'm extremely attractive plus I'm a sexual dynamo.", "ANGELA: So, you think that Sweets is going to break up with you?", "DAISY: I don't know because it's never happened before. He's pushing me away. He's been avoiding me.", "ANGELA: Oh, you don't have anything to worry about.", "DAISY: Why?", "ANGELA: Because before they break up with you guys usually get really affectionate and sweet.", "DAISY: Does it always happen like that?", "ANGELA: No. No, not always.", "DAISY: So you can't get me any real help at all, even though you've been dumped a lot.", "ANGELA: Not a lot.", "DAISY: Why would Lance break up with me? I'm awesome.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth is talking to Colin Casey)", "COLIN: I paid the dude to write letters for me. Is that a crime?", "BOOTH: To?", "COLIN: Officer McKenna Grant.", "BOOTH: Officer Grant,the transit cop that was at the accident?", "COLIN: Yeah. I was getting nowhere with her. She was all wrapped up with this dude, Eddie Ceraficki. Aragon said he could appeal to her romantic side.", "BOOTH: So you could close the deal.", "COLIN: Yeah, she's has cute ass, y'know? I thought maybe that poerty stuff, it could work.", "BOOTH: Right, right. You are quite a romantic, Colin. Tell you what, though. Martin Aragon was murdered.", "COLIN: You're kidding me.", "BOOTH: Try to look surprised, okay. It'll help.", "COLIN: I swear, I had no idea.", "BOOTH: You know, maybe when he wrote these letters to her-- Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. You know, maybe when he wrote these letters her, he actually fell in love with her himself?", "COLIN: Why would i care? As long as letters worked.", "BOOTH: But those letter, they didn't work and you - you shelled out a lot of money for those letters, right? What do you end up with? A blind guy who falls in love with your girliend. That would make you pretty mad, wouldn't it. Am I right, Colin?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. She's talking to Booth, on the phone, while he is driving.)", "ANGELA: I feel uncomfortable talking about this. Is this because of something that that Japanese journalist said?", "BOOTH: No, no, no, no. It's just...Riku asked Bones about some of the character stuff in the book and when were alone..Bones, she told me you helped her.", "ANGELA: Yeah. I mean, I might have given her a few suggestions. That'all.", "BOOTH: Suggestions? Like, um..?", "ANGELA: Okay, look, Brennan types up her book and then I go to her place and I lie on the couch, I mean, with a glass of wine,and she reads me the book. I make suggestions.", "BOOTH: Um, she reads you the whole book?", "ANGELA: Well, yeah. Yeah. And I say...\"You know what would be great here? If they were naked. Or um, \"What if he says this to her and then they laugh and then they kiss?\" You know, that kind of stuff.", "BOOTH: The good stuff, you mean.", "ANGELA: No, do not do that, Booth. She writes the book. I just drink wine and make suggestions. Like her editor. And editors do not get credit.", "BOOTH: How 'bout page 187?", "ANGELA: What is it with you guys and page 187? I have to go. I'm busy.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth throws down a stack on the table in front of McKenna Grant)", "BOOTH: Recognize these?", "OFFICER GRANT: Where did you get these?", "BOOTH: From the murder victim's computer. He wrote them to you, didn't he?", "OFFICER GRANT: No. These letters were sent to me by Colin Casey.", "BOOTH: No, Colin paid Martin Aragon to write these.", "OFFICER GRANT: Well, he wasted his money 'cause I only went out with him a couple times. But you think that maybe Colin blamed the blind guy for not sealing deal? No, sorry but Colin isn't exactly the tough type guy. Eddie may be, not Colin.", "BOOTH: Eddie. Your previous boyfriend?", "OFFICER GRANT: Yeah, he, um, well, when I left Eddie for Colin, he came down and punched Collin up a little bit. Not hospital punching, but yeah, you know. Knocked him around.", "BOOTH: What if Eddie found out that Colin used the blind guy's letters to, uh, woo you away? Where would we find Eddie.", "OFFICER GRANT: He owns a pawnshop just above Rock Creek station where I work.", "BOOTH: Is that how you met him?", "OFFICER GRANT: No, I met Eddie when I arrested him for carrying pizza and weapon. Yeah, I hear you. I got issues with men. Thanks for update.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Hodgins, Daisy, Cam and Angela are reviewing evidence)", "HODGINS: This is a Quasar safety slug. It was designed to dissintegrate so it wouldn't riccoshe after it hits its target.", "DAISY: So it's safe bullet?", "CAM: Not for the person it hits, just anyone else in the room.", "ANGELA: Now, this is a thin clothing of blue colour.", "DAISY: That must be what left marks on the clavicle C-7.", "CAM: Perhaps 'cause the ammunititon is so rare, we could trace buyers.", "HODGINS: We're not done yet. Now, turning our attention to glass fragments embedded in the back of our victim's head.", "CAM: The bullet exited our victim, shattered a glass object behind him before disintegrating.", "ANGELA: Right. The angle of applied force was 28 degrees. So if I extend the incidence lines, the point of intersection is here. Which means he was standing between 45 and 60 centimeters in front of the glass object when he was shot.", "CAM: Okay, then we find that glass and find where he was killed.", "HODGINS: Well, we're still not done.", "(The photographs Daisy took of the rats appear on the screen)", "DAISY: Hey! Those are my photographs from when Dr.Hodgins and Is went to find the rat poop.", "CAM: Let's not get emotional, Ms. Wick.", "HODGINS: Okay, so we need to find glass fixtures that contain borosilicate. We find that here.", "ANGELA: Now,I scanned for color frequencs on the wall where the bullet would have disintegrated. The blue polymer emits about 420 nanomers.", "CAM: You found where he was murded.", "HODGINS: He was was lured into this tunnel and was shot.", "DAISY: Let the record show that my photographs were invaluable to the process. There's no record, is there?", "(Cut to: Eddie's Pawn Shop. Booth, Brennan are there to talk to Eddie Ceraficki. Riko is still tagging along)", "RIKU IWANAGA: This is pawnshop...like the one in your first book when Doctor Reichs and Agent Andy removed their clothes in the two-man submarine.", "BRENNAN: The pulverized acromion is the important part of that book.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, you know what, I like the sub.", "EDDIE CERAFICKI: I can hardly wait to see what you three are looking for. Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding me.", "BOOTH: You own an gun, Mr. Ceraficki?", "EDDIE: Of course I own a gun. It's a pawnshop. Never had to use it. I mean, I wave it around from time to time, but...", "BRENNAN: Why is he allowed to carry a gun after he was arrested on concealed weapon charge?", "EDDIE: That was a mistake. I accidental put it in my pocket, you know, when left work.", "BOOTH: Can we see the gun, please? It's just right over here.", "(Eddie goes to get the gun out of a bag from back against the wall)", "BOOTH: Uh-uh--Real easy there. Don't want any sudden movements. No mistakes. That's it.", "RIKU IWANAGA: That is very sexy. Big Andy, with a gun, protecting Kathy.", "BRENNAN: No, no, no. He's not Andy and I'm not Kathy. Plus, it's even more exciting when he shoots someone with it.", "BOOTH: Bones.", "BRENNAN: Well, it is, Booth. And very impressive. He never misses.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Andy sometimes misses.", "BRENNAN: Yes. See?", "BOOTH: Sorry about that one, pal.", "EDDIE: I get it. Cops gotta be careful.", "BOOTH: Is that a box of ammo over there?", "(He takes the top off the box; they're Quasar safety slugs)", "BRENNAN: Aha! Gotcha, dirtbag!", "EDDIE: Got me for what?", "BOOTH: (to Riko) Don't write that.", "BRENNAN: What? We got him.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is talking with Eddie)", "BOOTH: Officer Grant says you have quite a temper.", "EDDIE: Yeah. Well. Guy starts writing love letters to your girlfriend, then she dumps you for him? He's gonna get a pop in the nose. It's practically the law, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Right, so you punch him in the nose, that's fine.", "EDDIE: Thank you.", "BOOTH: Then you find out that it wasn't Colin Casey who wrote the letters.", "EDDIE: What? He admitted it.", "BOOTH: No, no, no. He hired someone else to write the letters. You find that out, then you get really pissed off and you shoot him.", "EDDIE: Who?", "BOOTH: Martin Aragon. The guy who actually wrote the letters.", "EDDIE: Oh, wait, wait. So she dumped me for another guy?", "BOOTH: No, she dumped you for Colin.", "EDDIE: Alright, now I'm confused.", "BOOTH: The point of all of this is that we have your fancy blue bullets and the gun and we know where you shot him.", "EDDIE: I never shot my gun. I told you already. Okay? I might wave it around from time to time if some bad-looking dude comes in my joint,but I never shot it. And plus, I-I'm sure you figured out that those blue bullets don't fit in that gun.", "BOOTH: Guy could have two guns, right?", "EDDIE: Who are you saying I killed again?", "BOOTH: I'll tell you what, Eddie. If you have nothing to hide, why don't you just show me the gun that uses these fancy blue bullets? (he pauses so that Eddie could answer..when he doesn't..) Okay, let the record show that the suspect acted very suspiciously when I asked him to produce the weapon.", "EDDIE: No. Wait! Okay. I gave the gun to somebody.", "BOOTH: Who?", "EDDIE: She said I was a stiff sometimes. Alright? Boring, I guess and she wanted me to be a little romantic, so I gave her the gun that brought us together in the first place.", "BOOTH: Officer Grant?", "EDDIE: Yeah. Got it engraved and I gave it to her for Valentine's Day. So, now, are you gonna inform the record on what to show on that?", "BOOTH: There is no record.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth and Brennan are waiting for Officer Grant to arrive. She's brought in by another FBI Agent.)", "BOOTH: Officer Grant, thanks for coming in. Can I have your sidearm, please?", "OFFICER GRANT: What's this about?", "BOOTH: Well, we got a warrant to, uh, search your apartment. Will you have a seat, please? We, uh, found Eddie's gun. It says,\"You can arrest me anytime. Eddie.\"", "BRENNAN: You're a law enforcement professional; why would you keep the murder weapon?", "OFFICER GRANT: I am a law enforcement professional and if you had any evidence that wasn't circumstantial, you'd have arrested me. So, I guess I'll be leaving. It's been a pleasure.", "BOOTH: Hold on...for one second, please. We also have a warrant for your shoes.", "OFFICER GRANT: My shoes? (Brennan holds up an evidence bag.) What's that?", "BRENNAN: Leather we found with the victim's tissue. Inside a rat. If we can match this leather to your shoes, it'll show that you were there when the victim died.", "BOOTH: Will you please remove your shoes, Officer Grant?", "(Booth closes the door and Officer Grant sits down)", "OFFICER GRANT: Eddie was a good guy. I just wanted a little romance but those letters were a lie. I should have been happy with Eddie. I should have been happy with what I had.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Brennan is walking Riku Iwanaga out.)", "RIKU IWANAGA: Thank you very much. I have a big article to write.", "BRENNAN: Well, I hope you would stress important things in my novels.", "RIKU IWANAGA: I have learned very much.", "BRENNAN: Yes, you learned that rat excrement can provide not only the time line, but also, very important non-circumstantial evidence.", "RIKU IWANAGA: I also learned that people should not take credit for what other people write.", "BRENNAN: What is that supposed to mean?", "RIKU IWANAGA: Uh, I mean the man who was murdered, of course.", "BRENNAN: oh.", "RIKU IWANAGA: Arigato.", "BRENNAN: Arigato.", "(They bow. Riku leaves and Brennan sees Angela working in her office and smiles at her)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Sweets is with Sophia Meade.)", "SOPHIA: \"Unseen,I feel your spirit as we work. The scent of your hair. The accidental brush of your skin. I hear your heart beating. Mine beating with yours as one. \"I breathe when you breathe, breath to breath, heartbeat to heartbeat...\" You believe Martin wrote these letters to me?", "SWEETS: Yeah. The imagery, the syntax, the emotion. Yes, I do.", "SOPHIA: So you're saying he was in love with me?", "SWEETS: I wasn't sure whether to tell you, but... I figured that if I was him, I wouldn't want my fear to prevent you from knowing how I felt.", "SOPHIA: But he never said anything..but Martin wouldn't, would he? I was married. I had children. I was happy. He could never have what he wanted. Poor Martin.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan enters and hands her an envelope)", "ANGELA: What is this?", "BRENNAN: It's your share.", "ANGELA: My share of what?", "BRENNAN: My advance, plus an estimation of what you deserve for the other two books.", "ANGELA: Okay, would you stop talking as though I know what you're talking about?", "BRENNAN: I've come to realize, over the past couple days, that you deserve twenty-five percent of what I get for my books.", "ANGELA: Does this have to do with Hodgins and the whole s*x thing on page 187?", "BRENNAN: Among other things.", "ANGELA: So, is this Booth's idea?", "BRENNAN: Uh, no. I did my own math. Booth is terrible at math.", "ANGELA: Well, I meant the whole \"share\" thing.", "BRENNAN: Booth's surprise at your involvement caused me to reevaluate our arrangement.", "(Brennan goes to leave and Angela opens the envelope. When she pulls out the check and almosts faints. That's a lot of zeros...)", "ANGELA: Oooh.", "BRENNAN: Is my math incorrect?", "ANGELA: Wow..um, this is... this is twenty-five percent?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I figure if my agent gets ten percent - you deserve more.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Daisy is putting bones away.)", "SWEETS: Daisy.", "DAISY: Lancelot, there you are. Don't touch the bones.", "SWEETS: Oh, did it look like I was going to? I wasn't.", "DAISY: I've been trying to call you. You've been avoiding me, haven't you?", "SWEETS: Yeah. I, uh, I just... I needed to think about some things. About you and-and me and-and what I want my life to be.", "DAISY: Is this because of the boy who didn't die of leukemia?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "DAISY: And you're here because you decided something?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "DAISY: Am I going to like what you decided?", "SWEETS: I don't know. I just want to say that I don't want to spend any more time away from you than I have to.", "DAISY: What?", "SWEETS: I'm doing this wrong. Um, when my mom died, she left me something and my mom and dad were together for almost 60 years.", "DAISY: They were really old.", "SWEETS: Yeah, they were really old when they adopted me. (He takes a ring box out of his coat pocket and opens it) Um... It's just a modest ring, but it represents 60 years of love. (he gets on one knee) Daisy, will you be my wife?", "DAISY: (she gets on her knees and wraps her arms around Sweets) It would make me incredibly happy if you would be my husband. (she kisses him) I'm sorry about everyone else - all the bad things - but that earthquake was the luckiest thing in the world for me.", "(They kiss again)", "(Cut to: Brennan's Apartment - Night. Brennan opens her door (in a robe), Booth is there.)", "BOOTH: You are not going to believe this.", "BRENNAN: Come in. You want a drink? I have some Chinese food in the refrigerator.", "BOOTH: Uh, a drink. Scotch.", "BRENNAN: What am I not going to believe?", "BOOTH: Officer Grant got a lawyer.", "BRENNAN: Well, we just arrested her for murder. I believe that.", "BOOTH: Right, Eddie...Eddie got her the best defense attorney in town.", "BRENNAN: That is hard to believe.", "BOOTH: I know. Right? He heard what she did for him and he fall in love with her all over again.", "BRENNAN: That is not rational.", "BOOTH: Yeah. You know what? I still can be surprised by people.", "BRENNAN: Is that good or bad?", "BOOTH: Uh, bad? I think. Uh... I don't know.", "BRENNAN: Well, if she's convicted, even with good behavior, she'll be in prison for the next 15 years.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but he said that they're soul mates and he'll it for however long it takes for her to get out.", "BRENNAN: Soul mates.", "BOOTH: Soul mates. Yeah.", "BRENNAN: The idea of soul mates actually originated with Plato.", "BOOTH: Yeah, you mean the-the clay that kids play with.", "BRENNAN: No, the...Oooh. (she laughs)", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: You're joking.", "BOOTH: Me, joke? No.", "BRENNAN: No, the ancient Greek philosopher. His theory was that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs and two faces. Zeus was threatened by their power and split them all in half, condemning us all to spend our lives trying to complete ourselves.", "BOOTH: I don't believe that's true.", "BRENNAN: I agree. It's ridiculous.", "BOOTH: Right? Four arms. Four heads.", "BRENNAN: Two faces.", "BOOTH: Come on.", "END." ]

[ "The milestone 100th episode of BONES takes viewers back in time six years as Brennan and Booth recount the first case they worked on together. With Sweets finishing his book on their partnership, Brennan and Booth take this opportunity to set the record straight. A young and rebellious FBI Agent Booth seeks the help of an team of anthropological scientists and a street artist to find the evidence that will prove his high-profile suspect guilty. Although in unfamiliar territory, Dr. Brennan, her grad student Zack and Hodgins get right to work, impressing Booth with their knack for uncovering new leads and substantiating his theory about a well-connected district judge. While the case cements a foundation for a successful future partnership, it also reveals the convoluted romantic beginnings of the formidable duo - whose feelings for each other almost destroyed the team but still linger years later - ." ]

[ "(Open: Outside FBI Headquarters. Booth & Brennan are coming up the escalator. Brennan is carrying the manuscript to Sweets book.)", "BOOTH: You know, we're gonna have to break this to Sweets very gently.", "BRENNAN: Why? He should be grateful.", "BOOTH: He'll grateful later.", "BRENNAN: What do you mean?", "BOOTH: Well, you know how people are grateful when you yell \"fire\" but before they're grateful, they panic and run into walls.", "BRENNAN: You think Sweets is going to panic and run into a wall? (Booth looks at her) Metaphorically. Okay. I got it.", "BOOTH: He's not gonna like it.", "BRENNAN: Well, if there was a mistake in one of my books, I'd want to know.", "BOOTH: What you call \"a mistake\", Sweets calls \"interpretation\".", "BRENNAN: Interpretation? No. It's an actual factual error.", "BOOTH: Okay, what exactly do you think, you think we're telling him about?", "BRENNAN: Page 31. And I quote \"Subjects worked together for the first time in solving the murder of pregnant Congressional intern, Cleo Eller.", "BOOTH: Oooh. Right, yeah. That's right. We worked that other case before that.", "BRENNAN: What did you think we were going to talk to him about?", "BOOTH: The whole, uh, love thing?", "BRENNAN: Love thing? Oh, his conclusion we're in love? I don't care about that.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweet's Office. Booth and Brennan just arrived and told Sweets that there was a mistake in his book)", "SWEETS: What mistake?", "BOOTH: Hint, it's not what you think.", "SWEETS: You disagree with my conclusion that the two of you are in love and the sublimating energies of that connection are responsible for the energy, vigor and rigor that you bring to your homicide investigations.", "BOOTH: I just told you, it's not what you think..and you immediately say what you think.", "BRENNAN: That's your interpretation. We recognize your right to interpret.", "SWEETS: You do?", "BRENNAN: That's your right as a psychologist to get everything wrong. I have circled some typos - other than that and the fact that the Cleo Eller murder was not our first case, you're ready to publish.", "SWEETS: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. My interpretation of your working relationship is based on the unfolding, interpersonal dynamics of that first case.", "BOOTH: It wasn't our first case.", "SWEETS: It wasn't your first case.", "BRENNAN: It's not.", "SWEETS: Then, please. Tell me all about that real first case to see if my conclusions are still valid.", "(They look at each other. Booth nods at Brennan and they sit down)", "BRENNAN: A girl was murdered and her remains were thrown in a landfill.", "BOOTH: Her name was Gemma Arrington. The case was going nowhere, I was at an early morning Gambler's Anonymous meeting..", "(Cut to: August '04. Booth is at a Pool Hall shooting pool. He has money riding on the game)", "POOL SHARK: Snap the 9.", "BOOTH: Rack 'em.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) Booth had a gambling problem before he met me.", "BOOTH: (V.O) Well, since I mostly won, it really wasn't a problem.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) But it took your focus away from more important things. Like work.", "BOOTH: (V.O) You know, I was getting it under control.", "POOL SHARK: (he hands him a $20) Nice shot, Tex.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "(Booth's phone rings)", "BOOTH: Booth. Right. Okay. I'm on my way.", "(Cut to: Park - Day. A woman is sitting on the bench. Booth joins her.)", "MOM: Thank you for seeing me.", "BOOTH: (V.O) The victims mother, Jocelyn, came to see me to tell me that the NY Corner's office was releasing her daughters remains for burial. She was all upset.", "SWEETS: (V.O) Upset, why?", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office. )", "BRENNAN: The police had given up hope of finding her daughters killer.", "BOOTH: You see, the case was a split jurisdiction. The girl was last seen in D.C. but her body was found in New York in a landfill.", "(Cut to: August '04. FBI Headquarters - Elevator. Booth is reading the paper - when he lowers it, we see Cam - who was the New York Corner at the time. She joins him on the elevator)", "BOOTH: (V.O) The New York Coroner was in town, and uh, I decided to meet with her.", "BOOTH: Camille.", "CAM: Seeley. (the elevator doors close.) I can get you Gemma's file but you know the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.", "BOOTH: Okay. Maybe I missed something.", "CAM: How's about you get another point of view.", "BOOTH: Partner up. No. You know I don't do that.", "CAM: There's a Forensic Anthropologist, at the Jeffersonian; I read that she solved how a stone aged hunter was murdered.", "BOOTH: How does that help?", "CAM: If she can solve a 4,000 year old homicide, maybe she can help on Gemma Arrington. I could release the remains to her.", "BOOTH: Ya know what, Cam? Uh, I'll catch up with you later, alright. Forensics don't solve crimes; cops do.", "CAM: Same activity. Same results. Speaking of which, you look like you've been up all night.", "BOOTH: I'm fine.", "CAM: Meaning, you won?", "(She heads back to the elevator. Booth goes after and stops the doors from closing)", "BOOTH: Hey, hey, hey, hey.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) That's when he said...", "BOOTH: What's that scientist's name?", "BRENNAN: (V.O) And Cam answered: Temperance Brennan.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office. )", "BRENNAN: Which is me.", "(Cut to: August '04. American University. Brennan is lecturing a class.)", "BRENNAN: Most methods of removing flesh have disadvantages..", "BRENNAN: (V.O) I was lecturing on de-fleshing techniques at American University.", "BRENNAN:..methods which preserve the bone, perfectly, require patience.", "(Booth opens the door at the lecture hall)", "BOOTH: (V.O) Bones was not what I expected.", "BRENNAN: ..works quickly but the bone itself, is cooked; transforming the marrow. The first step is to use conventional surgical instruments being very careful that the scalpel, forceps never come in contact with the bone. Any questions?", "BOOTH: (raising his hand) Yeah, I have a question. It seems to me if you, uh, remove the flesh aren't you, uh, destroying the evidence.", "BRENNAN: On the contrary. I am revealing evidence. (the bell rings) Thank you. See you next week.", "(The students leave but Booth heads toward where Brennan is standing.)", "BOOTH: Ah, just, uh, one more thing. I mean, isn't all the good evidence in the flesh. You know, like, the poison and stab wounds and the bullets.", "BRENNAN: All of the important indicators are written in the bone if you look carefully.", "BOOTH: So that's your thing.", "BRENNAN: Yes. I am the best in the world.", "BOOTH: Oh. Okay. You're serious.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BRENNAN: (laughing) He thought I was being humorous.", "BOOTH: It turns out to be true.", "BRENNAN: But you didn't know that yet.", "(Cut to: August '04. American University.)", "BRENNAN: Are you a student here?", "BOOTH: Special Agent Seeley Booth from the FBI.", "BRENNAN: I'm Doctor Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian Institution.", "BOOTH: Do you believe in fate?", "BRENNAN: Absolutely not. Ludicrous.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BRENNAN: I still don't.", "BOOTH: And I still do.", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office. )", "BRENNAN: Booth decided not to provide me with the murder victims identity.", "(Cut to: August '04. Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan and Zack are examing the remains.)", "BOOTH: (V.O) I wanted to see if she could find out what I already knew.", "ZACK: A modicum of connective tissue indicates that, depending upon burial conditions, the remains are less than 200 years old.", "BRENNAN: Zack, we have to shift the paradigm; this is a recent murder.", "ZACK: What does this FBI agent want?", "BRENNAN: Identification of the remains. Apparently, the FBI has had no luck with dental records or missing persons.", "ZACK: The pelvis tells us, female who has never given birth. The rupture of the third molar indicates adolescent.", "(Hodgins enters the platform) Fingernails have lacquer on them. Fractures to the Pars interarticularis of the C2, indicate a blow to the forehead which may have cause unconsciousness but not death.", "HODGINS: What are you doing?", "ZACK: We are identifying a murder victim.", "HODGINS: From this century? (Brennan nods.) I'm taking the clothing!", "BRENNAN: Dr. Hodgins, I have asked you before not to be so unpleasant.", "HODGINS: (sarcastically) Please? I'm taking the clothing.", "ZACK: Why? You are a Botanist.", "HODGINS: Yeah and a Mineralogist and an Entomologist which gives me the same number of Doctorates as the two of you put together because you don't have any! I could find fibers or-or spores or other particulates.", "ZACK: Cause of death: The sharp symmetrical traumas to both the right and left temporal bones. (to Hodgins) You can take the clothing and leave, now.", "HODGINS: Yeah? You can take the femur and shove-", "BRENNAN: Dr. Hodgins. (he goes to leave) Dr. Hodgins. (she motions towards the bowl he left on the table)", "(Hodgins snaps the rubber band on his wrist, picks up the bowl and leaves with the bag of clothes.)", "ZACK: Naomi from Paleontology, suggests that Hodgins is like that because he needs to get laid. (Brennan looks confused) That means \"engage in coitus\".", "(Cut to: Park - Day. Angela is doing a caricature of a man when Brennan finds her.)", "BRENNAN: This is not a good likeness.", "ANGELA: Brennan. Hi! No, this is, uh, this is accurate, actually. This is very accurate.", "BRENNAN: I disagree. In reality, his nose looks like a yam.", "ANGELA: Could you go over there and just wait for me. Over there.", "(Cut to: Park - Day. Angela and Brennan are sitting on a park bench. Angela is eating an fudge pop.)", "ANGELA: So, you want me to do a-a caricature.", "BRENNAN: Yes. But an accurate one. It's for my work.", "(She takes a skull out of her bag and hold it up to Angela)", "ANGELA: Oh, my god. That looks real.", "BRENNAN: But it is real. Do you think you could provide me with a face?", "ANGELA: That-that's real?", "BRENNAN: It's a murder victim.", "(Angela throws the fudge pop in the garbage)", "ANGELA: Murder? Brennan, I thought that your job was-was mummies and cavemen? How- how did he die?", "BRENNAN: She. It's a teenager. Someone or something crushed her skull.", "ANGELA: Poor thing. Could you, maybe, just put that away now?", "BRENNAN: Well, the FBI wants to know who she is.", "ANGELA: But why me? I mean, we've only known each other a month.", "BRENNAN: Well, I interacted with you at your art exhibit because I was very impressed with your command of underlying structure. You will be paid.", "ANGELA: I'm in. I'm saving to go back to Paris.", "BRENNAN: How much do you have saved up so far?", "ANGELA: Whatever you're gonna pay me for that skull facial murder barf making monstrosity.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Hallway. Booth is carrying a box)", "CAM: Transcripts, interviews, phone logs, time lines..", "BOOTH: I dropped the body over at the Jeffersonian this morning.", "CAM: What did you tell them about it?", "BOOTH: Nothing.", "CAM: Ah, the gambler in you checking out the players", "BOOTH: Thanks, Cam. I appreciate it.", "CAM: Oh, don't thank me, Seeley. Nobody wants this case anymore.", "(She heads towards the elevators to leave while Booth goes to his desk, in the bullpen. As she enters the elevator, she literally runs into Brennan.)", "CAM & BRENNAN: Oh!", "CAM: Oh, I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: Traditionally, people disembark the elevator before reloading.", "CAM: I'm gonna take that as an acceptance of my apology.", "BRENNAN: But it wasn't an acceptance. It was an observation of social mores.", "CAM: Wait - hey, you're Dr. Brennan, right? We met at a conference on decapitation.", "(Brennan could care less, she heads over to find Booth)", "CAM: Never mind.", "(Brennan finds Booth's desk and places her bag on it)", "BRENNAN: Your victim was 16 years old, bi-racial. She died between 3 and 4 years ago and her body was left in a landfill for approximately one year. She was born in Southern Alabama but moved north when she was 8 years old. She was injured in a pre-1998 automobile, no air bags, when she was 13.", "BOOTH: Wow.", "BRENNAN: I'm not done. Judging by her ribcage and diaphragm attachment, she was either a swimmer, a singer or an asthmatic or any combination thereof. This preliminary sketch (she shows him the sketch that Angela did) gives you a general idea of what she looks like (She holds up the skull next to the sketch). I'm sorry, but we've been unable to find out her name.", "(Booth is shocked at how much information she found out)", "BOOTH: Just for future reference, those human remains are forensic evidence; you should be wearing gloves.", "BRENNAN: (placing the skull on his desk) I will adjust my behavior accordingly.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth puts a tape in the VCR.)", "BRENNAN: What is this?", "BOOTH: Just watch.", "(They watch the video of a young girl singing and playing the piano.)", "BRENNAN: She bears a remarkable resemblance to the sketch I gave you.", "BOOTH: Gemma Arrington. She's been dead for 4 years; her body was found in a landfill 3 years ago.", "(They head back to Booth's desk)", "BRENNAN: She's the murder victim?", "BOOTH: Yeah. I'm sorry.", "BRENNAN: Sorry for the victim?", "BOOTH: No. Sorry for holding back her identity.", "BRENNAN: Well, even though my time and expertise are extremely valuable, I accept your decision to test my abilities. Obviously, I passed with a lot of color.", "BOOTH: Pardon?", "BRENNAN: It means I did very well.", "BOOTH: Oh, right. You, um, flying colors. You passed with flying colors.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I know but passing your test suggests you have something more important in mind?", "BOOTH: I want to catch the b*st*rd who killed her.", "BRENNAN: Well, how do you know he's a b*st*rd. How do you even know it was a man?", "BOOTH: Look, uh, okay. (he holds up a picture) I guess you know who that is, right?", "BRENNAN: No.", "BOOTH: Judge Myles Hasty. He's a Federal Judge.", "BRENNAN: Well, I don't follow current events past the Industrial Revolution.", "BOOTH: He killed Gemma.", "BRENNAN: Well, why haven't you arrested him?", "BOOTH: Well, I don't have enough proof.", "BRENNAN: Then how do you know it's him?", "BOOTH: I just know and I'd like to ask you to help me catch him.", "BRENNAN: I won't do that.", "BOOTH: (laughs) Why?", "BRENNAN: Well, I will help you find out that truth and if the truth is that he killed her, I will help you catch him but first the truth, then the catching.", "BOOTH: okay, look. All I need is the kind of crap that persuades a jury.", "BRENNAN: It seems to me that someone like you could benefit hugely from an association with someone like me.", "BOOTH: Oh..(he starts laughing until he realizes she's serious.) Oh. You're being serious. You're serious. I was just kidding. You know, having some fun.", "BRENNAN: It is fun.", "(She smiles back at him)", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "SWEETS: This all happened a year before the Cleo Eller case?", "BOOTH: Almost to the day.", "BRENNAN: Well, thirteen months, less a week.", "SWEETS: And you didn't argue, even though he withheld information and tested you.", "BRENNAN: Well, my abilities were outside of his experience.", "SWEETS: He called evidence \"crap\" and she basically called you stupid.", "BRENNAN: We were feeling each other up, like, uh, a Honeymoon period.", "BOOTH: Out. We were feeling each other out.", "BRENNAN: Would you like to hear the rest of the story?", "(He leans back in the chair thinking that this is going to turn out badly)", "(Cut to: August '04 - Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Zack is cleaning the flesh off the bones by boiling the skeleton.)", "BRENNAN: (V.O) Well, I only knew Hodgins, slightly, as a very unpleasant authority on ancient spores and insects but he was the one that figured out the remains were in a landfill for a year before being discovered and that wasn't all..", "HODGINS: (to Zack) I found a sliver on the dead girls clothing.", "ZACK: The term is \"nebula's\".", "HODGINS: Wood. I found a splinter of wood. Maple to be exact. (to Brennan) So your murder victim? Most likely stuck with something made out of maple.", "ZACK: Still an observation so vague as to approach meaninglessness.", "HODGINS: Is he trying to piss me off?", "BRENNAN: You are always angry. I've been told you have an anger management problem.", "HODGINS: I'm...in a program. Supposed to snap this (he snaps the rubber band) everytime I get angry.", "ZACK: I'd be happy to do that for you.", "(Hodgins glares at Zack)", "BRENNAN: The victims boyfriend was in town the day she disappeared; trying out for a minor league baseball team.", "HODGINS: Yeah, so?", "BRENNAN: What are baseball bats made of?", "HODGINS: Maple? (he realizes what Brennan is getting at) Maple! (he snaps the rubber band) I should have thought of that. You know, I'm not so sure that a baseball bat attack would leave behind splinters, though.", "ZACK: Then why posit it as a weapon?", "HODGINS: Doubts! I have doubts, you see. I am doubtful.", "(Hodgins snaps his rubber band)", "BRENNAN: Perhaps the two of you can design an experiment.", "HODGINS: What? Whoa. No. Wait. Work together?", "(Zack shakes his head)", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "(Brennan leaves. Zack and Hodgins are not happy about this turn of events.)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Bullpen.)", "BOOTH: I brought in Gemma's baseball playing boyfriend for questioning for murder but I know he didn't do it.", "BRENNAN: Well, how do you know?", "BOOTH: why? Because the killer's Judge Hasty.", "BRENNAN: Well, feeling isn't knowing. When you know something, you can argue fact not merely make unsupportable claims in a passionate tone.", "BOOTH: You said that in a passionate tone without facts. You see, what it comes down to, it's all about what you feel.", "BRENNAN: Wh-why are you interrogating the boyfriend if you're already convinced?", "BOOTH: Ah, because I want to convince you.", "BRENNAN: That's very kind. Can I come in and watch you broil the suspect?", "BOOTH: Yeah, Well you know, I could broil 'em but I think you mean 'grill'.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth and Brennan are talking to Tucker Henry, Gemma's boyfriend.)", "TUCKER HENRY: I feel apart after I heard Gemma got killed. Couldn't concentrate on anything, then, couldn't hold it together.", "BOOTH: Some people might say the result of a guilty conscience.", "TUCKER: I was in D.C. to try out for a minor league baseball team. My dad was with me. Three of my uncles and four cousins. I wasn't away from anybody long enough to kill Gemma and transport her body to New York City.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) He has alibis?", "BOOTH: Tell Dr. Brennan how you did at your try-outs.", "TUCKER: I did great. Wh-what does that have to do with anything?", "BOOTH: Well, your try-outs were after Gemma was killed.", "TUCKER: Yeah, but I didn't know that yet. I- I thought everything was great. I didn't fall apart until after I found out Gemma was murdered. I still dream about being there when that happened; about protecting her.", "BOOTH: Psychologically consistent.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm not well acquainted with psychology but anthropologically speaking, men are programmed to consider themselves the protectors of their mates. (to Tucker) It was unnecessary to put you through this again.", "TUCKER: I don't mind coming in and answering these questions; cause it means that you guys are still looking and I want that.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Hodgins grabs a bat. Zack is dressed in a thick material covered suit - experiment time! Hodgins walks up to Zack and right before he's about to wack him..)", "ZACK: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you the deliverer of the blow while I am the recipient?", "HODGINS: Because you grunted when you picked up the bat. Brace yourself.", "(He swings the bat and wacks Zack with it, hard. The rest of the Jeffersonian workers, who are watching, wince. Brennan arrives.)", "BRENNAN: Excuse me. Go back to work, please. (to Hodgins) Conclusions thus far?", "HODGINS: Nothing. The bat did not leave behind any slivers even though the suit Zack is wearing is much more abrasive than the cotton the victim was wearing.", "BRENNAN: A blow like that would have left behind unmistakeable bone damage. Have you tried striking Zack in the soft tissue around the liver?", "ZACK: What?!", "HODGINS: Yeah, anatomy's really not my thing.", "(Brennan grabs the bat from Hodgins and slams Zack with it - knocking him to the ground.)", "ZACK: Ow!", "HODGINS: Whoa, ho, ho! That one had some effort!", "BRENNAN: That would most certainly have cause hemorrhaging in the liver followed by death.", "(Hodgins bring over a magnifier to examine the suit for splinters)", "HODGINS: Nothing. When a bat is so honed in close grain, it cannot be broken on the soft tissues of a human being. We could try striking his head.", "ZACK: What!", "(Brennan and Hodgins go to leave the platform)", "BRENNAN: Unnecessary.", "HODGINS: So I guess the baseball bat was not the murder weapon.", "ZACK: Dr. Brennan. I found something interesting in the victims x-rays.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room.)", "BRENNAN: The bones of the inner ear are missing.", "ZACK: Indicating that they may have been extracted during the assault.", "BRENNAN: Did you set up the UV light source?", "ZACK: Yes.", "(He goes to reach for it, but he's still wearing the suit, so it's hard to maneuver.)", "BRENNAN: I'll - I'll do it, Zack.", "ZACK: Thank you, Dr. Brennan. It's hard to move in this suit.", "BRENNAN: (scanning the bones with the UV light) These bruising's occurred before death. Possibilities?", "ZACK: Recurring patterns, so either struck repeatedly with the same narrow weapon or perhaps crushed beneath some kind of grid.", "BRENNAN: Could you please measure the exact distances between the bruises.", "ZACK: Of course, Dr. Brennan.", "(He goes to reach for a tool but falls. Brennan has already left the room)", "(Cut to: Opera House. Brennan is there to find what caused the bruising on Gemma's bones.)", "BOOTH: So at 6:30pm, Gemma and her choir sang here for a group of hoity toites.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "BOOTH: Shakers and maccas; You know, influential types - including Judge Hasty. There was a reception here at 9pm. Gemma was seen at the end of the reception, then poof. A year later, her remains were found in a New York City landfill. So, what are we looking for?", "BRENNAN: The source of a pattern of bone bruising that happened very shortly before she died. Regular strikes, approximately 33cm apart, spanning the remains from the forehead down to the femur. I was thinking something made of maple. Uh, heavy book case, scaffolding, a ladder.", "BOOTH: I gotta tell ya..I really am enjoying working with ya, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Bones is not my name.", "BOOTH: It's just a nickname.", "BRENNAN: Oh, yes. I see. I could call you....shoes!", "BOOTH: Shoes? Why shoes?", "BRENNAN: Yes, because they are so very shiny.", "BOOTH: The shoes, they're part of my uniform.", "(They enter a theater type room)", "BOOTH: The FBI, they just have a way of doing thing.", "BRENNAN: Well, anthropologically speaking, para-militaristic organizations tend to constrain individuality.", "BOOTH: That's for sure.", "BRENNAN: But any group, no matter how restrictive, the free thinkers, the mavericks, rebels with leadership quality, find ways to declare their distinctiveness.", "BOOTH: I'm a free thinking real rebel.", "(The head to another area)", "BRENNAN: Are you seeing anyone?", "BOOTH: Wow. Right to the point there, huh, Bones? Uh, casually but she doesn't like my hours. You?", "BRENNAN: Well, uh, a physicist has been asking me out so I was thinking of saying yes.", "BOOTH: Well, I'd ask you out if I could.", "BRENNAN: Why can't you?", "BOOTH: Well, FBI rules, again. No fraternizing with other agents or consultants.", "BRENNAN: That's too bad.", "BOOTH: Glad you think so.", "(The enter another room with a staircase)", "BOOTH: The stairs. Look, they're made out of maple?", "BRENNAN: The sliver on the victims clothing could have come from violent contact with stairs.", "BOOTH: What about the bone bruising?", "BRENNAN: The hypotenuse of the triangle formed by the riser and tred, looks to be approximately 33cm.", "BOOTH: Gemma was probably trying to escape. Come down here. The judge probably dragged her to the exit over here. (they open the door, there's a parking lot) There is it!", "BRENNAN: The killer could have driven back here and taken her away without being seen.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Caroline's Office. Angela is holding up a flip book, showing how the murder could have happened)", "CAROLINE: You think that Gemma Arrington was chased by Judge Hasty.", "BOOTH: He played football in college.", "CAROLINE: Then he swung her into a wall or something?", "ANGELA: Well...No, no, no. The next part, here, shows..", "CAROLINE: (interrupting) Who's this, now?", "ANGELA: Oh, I'm Angela. Montenegro. I'm an artist. Who are you?", "BOOTH: That's Miss Julian. She's a Federal Prosecutor - she's on our side.", "BRENNAN: (peaking out from behind Angela, to Boot) Tell her that Angela possesses extremely keen spacial awareness.", "CAROLINE: And who's this now?", "BOOTH: That's a squint.", "BRENNAN: (standing, she extends her hand to Caroline.) I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.", "BOOTH: Uh, don't bother. You know. You never remember squints.", "CAROLINE: That's correct and you know why?", "BOOTH: Why?", "CAROLINE: Because they get all whishy-washy and flip-floppy on the witness stand. So it's better I don't remember the last time they let me down when I need 'em again.", "BOOTH: Here. Here continue with the flip book there.", "ANGELA: Okay. Okay. (she holds up the flip book again) So the judge tackles Gemma...", "BOOTH: You remember, you know, football in college.", "ANGELA: And grabs her ankle.", "BOOTH: Wham! Right there. Bam, all of a sudden, you know, he's got an unconscious girl on his hands and you know what, he thinks she's dead.", "BRENNAN: Loads her into his car at the bottom of the stairs and drives her to a landfill in New York.", "CAROLINE: Why was he chasing her?", "BRENNAN: Who cares why?", "CAROLINE: Oh, let's see? A judge. A jury. The press and oh, yeah. Me!", "BOOTH: Caroline. All I need is a warrant to arrest Judge Hasty.", "CAROLINE: Well, maybe if this little stick figure thing was a big computer - lots of bells and whistles - but right now, it just looks like a sadistic children's book. What's the penchant death grip thing that actually killed the girl?", "BRENNAN: We don't know yet.", "CAROLINE: (pointing to the book) This won't get me a warrant. I'm a lowly Federal Prosecutor. Hasty is a big-shot Federal Judge.", "BRENNAN: A hoity toit.", "(Booth wince)", "CAROLINE: Oh...I see what's going on. You've always wanted this office. Tired of sitting out there in the bullpen. Well, I'm not committin' career suicide because you're cute and want a window.", "BOOTH: We should go.", "ANGELA: Okay. (whispering, to Brennan) Hey, listen. He is very cute.", "BRENNAN: Well, I do respond to the breadth of his shoulders and strong jaw line.", "(Booth closes the door to the office and catches up with Brennan and Angela.)", "BOOTH: Guys, guys, guys. Okay. Caroline says we can't arrest the judge, but she doesn't say that we can't ask him a few questions.", "(Cut to: Opera House. Booth and Brennan are there with Judge Hasty.)", "BOOTH: Thanks so much for coming down, Judge Hasty.", "JUDGE HASTY: As you pointed out, if I refused, headline news would be \"Federal Judge to Cooperate in On-going Homicide Investigation\".", "BRENNAN: What we think is that you chased Gemma Arrington and she fell down those stairs.", "BOOTH: Okay, Bones. Way to jump right in there. (to Judge Hasty) She was trying to escape you.", "JUDGE HASTY: Why? I'm a very nice man.", "BOOTH: Did you use that line on her, too?", "JUDGE HASTY: The only words I ever spoke to the girl were \"You have a lovely voice.\" and I said it in front of about 100 people.", "BOOTH: What did you not do in front of 100 people?", "BRENNAN: Booth is suggesting sexual impropriety.", "JUDGE HASTY: I chased her through the Opera House. That's very melodramatic. And then, what? I pushed her down the stairs?", "BOOTH: No. She was trying to get away from you and you tripped her and she fell down those staris.", "JUDGE HASTY: And she died.", "BRENNAN: No, those injuries didn't kill her.", "JUDGE HASTY: (to Brennan) You're making this all up (to Booth) and she's making you look like an idiot.", "BRENNAN: No. In fact, I am very intelligent.", "JUDGE HASTY: Yeah? You could have fooled me. You're ridiculous.", "(He grabs Brennan's arm and she turns around and punches him in the nose..and then punches him in the nose again - he falls to the floor.)", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Is this very bad?", "BOOTH: I have been wanting to do that for years. You are so hot. That's great.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth is with Caroline.)", "CAROLINE: That woman punched a Federal Judge. In the nose! Twice!", "BOOTH: Well, it was self-defense. He was panicking. Alright. We got it right.", "CAROLINE: Fire her! And cut all ties. If we're lucky, Hasty sues her and not us.", "BOOTH: I can't do that.", "CAROLINE: She should never have been in the field. Now I'm sympathetic. I have let a pretty face lead me down the paths of unrighteousness - yours for example...", "BOOTH: Well, it's not like that..", "CAROLINE: Of course it is! Watching you two together is like being at prom but it's not high school now, Booth. It's grown-up time. The beautiful scientist - is fired. She just doesn't know it yet. That oversight is what you must rectify. My advice? Get her drunk first.", "BOOTH: Me? Ugh.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Brennan and Zack are examining the skull.)", "ZACK: I'm trying to estimate the force needed to cause this damage to the victims skull. I'm working up a chart of equivalents. Alligator bites have been measured at 2,000 lbs of force, hyena's at 1,000, sharks at 330. Whatever did this damage was somewhere between a human and a chimpanzee, meaning approximately 250 lbs of force.", "BRENNAN: I just had a terrible thought. We removed the flesh by boiling. What if there were particulates on the bone which Hodgins could identify. (Zacks looks at her, skeptically.) We'll, we're not used to dealing with such fresh kills; we must adapt.", "(Angela appears in the doorway.)", "ANGELA: Could I help? (she enters the room) Wow! This place is huge.", "BRENNAN: Angela, this is my assistant, Zack Addy. Zack, this is my friend, Angela Montenegro.", "ANGELA: Hey! It's Jimmy Neutron. Huh. Boy scientist.", "ZACK: I don't know what that means.", "BRENNAN: Neither do I.", "ANGELA: Okay. Uh, it occured to me, when I did the facial reconstruction, that the girls head was slammed.", "BRENNAN: Well, a door would have crushed the entire side of her head, Ange.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but what if it were some kind of protuberance. Like a bolt or something.", "ZACK: A sliding door?", "ANGELA: I don't know. I'm an artist. I belong in Paris.", "BRENNAN: What about a car trunk? With a catch or latch? How much force would a slamming car trunk generate.", "(Zack stops and pauses)", "ANGELA: Is he doing that in his head?", "ZACK: 260 force lbs. - give or take.", "BRENNAN: That could fit. (she checks her phone) I have to go meet Booth.", "(Brennan leaves)", "ANGELA: I have a little math problem you can't solve. Can God create a bigger rock than he can roll? Think about it.", "(Cut to: Pool Hall. Booth and Brennan are at the bar doing shots of Tequila.)", "BOOTH: Drink up. Er, alright.", "(They do a shot)", "BRENNAN: Okay. (she clears her though) So all we have to do is compare the wounds in the victims skull with the Judge's cars.", "BOOTH: No, Bones. Just stop talking about the case, just for one moment, alright?", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: Check this out. Huh?", "(He lifts his tie and there's a sexy, cartoonish woman on the back. They laugh.)", "BOOTH: Okay. I am declaring my individuality; I am going rogue.", "BRENNAN: You have gone rogue.", "BOOTH: Okay here (he pours her another shot) You can handle your liquor very well.", "BRENNAN: Well, this stuff is nothing compared to the Bhang I had to drink as a grad student in India. It's made of fermented cannabis.", "BOOTH: Here's to Bhang.", "BOOTH & BRENNAN: To Bhang.", "(They clink glasses. They laugh.)", "BOOTH: You're fired.", "BRENNAN: What? Why? Because I drank Bhang? That was in pursuit of scholarly research. (Booth chuckles) Why am I fired?", "BOOTH: You're fired because you assaulted a Federal Judge.", "BRENNAN: No, you thought that was hot.", "BOOTH: I did. I did. It was very hot. Okay. (they do another shot) Cheers.", "BRENNAN: Hey.", "(Brennan leans towards Booth)", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: If we don't work together anymore, we can have s*x.", "BOOTH: I'll call a cab.", "(Cut to: Outside the Pool Hall. Brennan throws her jacket on and Booth follows her out)", "BOOTH: Hold on, hold on, listen. Hold that cab! Listen. I got something to confess.", "BRENNAN: What? Is it the fact that you're a direct descendant of John Wilkes Booth? I already know that.", "BOOTH: Wait...wait a second. How do you know that?", "BRENNAN: From your bone structure.", "BOOTH: Just keep that, um, under your hat. Okay? For now. Alright?", "BRENNAN: Okay.", "BOOTH: What I wanted to to confess was - see, I have a gambling problem but I'm dealing with it.", "BRENNAN: Why did you feel you had to tell me that?", "BOOTH: I don't know. I just feel like, um, this is going somewhere...", "BRENNAN: Why did you feel this is going somewhere?", "(She gets closer to him)", "BOOTH: I just - I feel like I'm gonna kiss you..", "(She closes the space between them and they start to kiss. A few seconds into it - the frame freezes and we...)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office)", "SWEETS: You kissed.", "BOOTH: Yes.", "BRENNAN: There was tongue contact.", "(Sweets slumps down into his chair.)", "SWEETS: My book is crap.", "BRENNAN: Well, that's why we wanted to come here today.", "BOOTH: Yeah, we just wanted to warn you, Sweets, so you wouldn't be barking up the wrong tree.", "SWEETS: How long did this affair last?", "(Booth and Brennan look at each other)", "BRENNAN: Should we tell him?", "SWEETS: Yes! Yes, you should.", "(Cut to: Outside the Pool Hall. It picks up from where we left off - Booth & Brennan are kissing. The taxi honks and Brennan breaks the kiss and", "runs to the cab. Booth stays in the doorway.)", "BOOTH: Wow.", "BRENNAN: We are not spending the night together.", "BOOTH: Of course we are. Why?", "BRENNAN: Tequila.", "(Brennan gets into the taxi and it starts to pull away but Booth chases after it.)", "BOOTH: Hey, ho, ho. Hold the cab. Hold the cab. Hey!", "(He knocks on the window, Brennan rolls it down)", "BOOTH: So, you're afraid when I look at you in the morning, I'll have regrets?", "BRENNAN: That would never happen.", "(She chuckles, as the cab drives away as Booth stands in the middle of the street. She waves to him out of the back window)", "BRENNAN: (V.O) I went home and went to bed.", "(Booth looks up at the Pool Hall sign, as if he wants to go, but decides not to and starts walking in the opposite direction)", "BOOTH: (V.O) SO did I.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office)", "(Sweets can't believe what he's hearing and slumps back in the chair again)", "(Cut to: August 'o4. Medico Legal Lab. Brennan is just getting to work but it's obvious she's hung over - she's wearing sunglasses indoors and", "looks like hell.)", "ANGELA: Hey! Oh, hey. We have to tell you something.", "HODGINS: Zack told me how bad you felt about boiling all the particulates out of the skull...", "BRENNAN: I need some coffee.", "ZACK: This is coffee.", "(He hands her a mug)", "BRENNAN: Oh, thank you.", "HODGINS: Despite the boiling, I was able to get microscopic samples from the bones (to Angela) hey, have I mentioned how excited I am to be working with you?", "ANGELA: Yes, yeah. You've, you mentioned it.", "ZACK: Dr. Hodgins found microscopic fragments of steel and traces of lubricating oil.", "ANGELA: Zack and I compared manufacturers specs for the Judges trunk to the victims gaping head wound.", "ZACK: One of them matched.", "BRENNAN: We got fired.", "HODGINS: A '56 Bel Air.", "BRENNAN: What?", "ANGELA: What?", "HODGINS: What?", "(Brennan takes her sun glasses off)", "ANGELA: We got fired? Wha- is this because you slept with Booth?", "BRENNAN: What? I didn't sleep with Booth. Why -why did you say that?", "HODGINS: Tequlia vapors.", "ZAcK: What is happening?", "BRENNAN: I got us fired because I punched a judge in the schnoz.", "ANGELA: Now, I'm never going to make it to Paris.", "BRENNAN: Angela, I can offer you steady employment reconstructing ancient remains and tombs and digs.", "ANGELA: Really?", "HODGINS: You know, I've always wanted to go to Paris with an artist.", "BRENNAN: Zack, take all of the evidence to Booth at the FBI and we all can go back to our normal jobs.", "(She puts her glasses back on and heads for her office)", "HODGINS: You ever feel like you saw something great that almost happened, then it didn't?", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Bullpen. Booth is laying his head on his desk, staring at a glass of water. He's a bit hungover as well. Zack comes in and plops down a case, containing all the evidence)", "ZACK: Are you Special Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: What are you? (He notices the logo on the case) Oh, the Jeffersonian. Alright, you must be one of the squints.", "ZACK: I'm not familiar with that term.", "BOOTH: Squint. You know, you guys, you squint when you look at things - just like that.", "ZACK: This is proof that Federal Judge Myles Hasty murdered Gemma Arrington.", "BOOTH: Proof? What proof?", "ZACK: It was immensely stupid of you to fire us.", "BOOTH: (he gets up from his desk) I'm sorry, but did you just call me stupid?", "ZACK: I can only conclude that you are immensely stupid.", "(He pushes a manila envelope towards Booth and leaves, crossing paths with Cam.)", "CAM: You fired the Jeffersonian Institution?", "BOOTH: (looking at the file) Uh, I don't know what any of this stuff means. (He hands the folder to Cam) Yeah, Caroline made me. Dr. Bones punched the judge right in the nose.", "CAM: They got the judge.", "BOOTH: They got the judge? This is good news.", "CAM: What'd I tell ya.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Caroline's Office.)", "CAROLINE: The girls head was smashed in by the locking mechanism of a '56 Bel Air.", "CAM: Here's the evidence.", "CAROLINE: Oh, more stick man cartoons?", "BOOTH: Yes, but you know, you can jazz it up with computers before trial.", "CAM: LOok at the evidence.", "CAROLINE: If you're wrong about this my career is over so don't tell me to \"look at the evidence\" because you know I'm gonna look at the evidence", "(to Booth) and you, reassure me.", "BOOTH: Yes. Yes. Cam and I, we did, look at the evidence and we both feel that there's enough here to get a warrant to search the judges vehicle.", "CAROLINE: He'd better of done this because irritatin' a Federal Judge? Very unwise.", "CAM: Uh, small trace of blood - any DNA would be enough to make an arrest.", "(Caroline looks over the file)", "CAROLINE: (to Booth) You fire the Jeffersonian already?", "BOOTH: Yeah, of course.", "CAROLINE: Hire it back.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "CAROLINE: And push come to shove, you be ready to testify that judge walked into a door or somethin'.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(Cam smiles and Caroline goes back to reading the file.)", "CAROLINE: I'll have your warrant in an hour. (she pauses) So why are you still here?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. She measuring the occipital region on a skull when shows up at her doorway.)", "BOOTH: You're back, baby. Haha! You're re-hired.", "BRENNAN: But I've moved on.", "BOOTH: What is that, uh, a monkey?", "BRENNAN: No, this is Ardipithecus Ramidus Kadabba. The earliest known..", "BOOTH: Okay, abracadabra can wait (Brennan is annoyed) we have a warrant for the judges car so let's go. What's the matter? Get your coat. Chop- chop!", "(Cut to: Parking Garage. FBI techs are surrounding the Judges car, looking for evidence that he killed Gemma)", "BOOTH: Is something wrong?", "BRENNAN: I find I'm annoyed with you.", "BOOTH: Why? Because I fired you and hired you back? It's the Federal Government.", "BRENNAN: No, because you got me drunk to fire me and then have s*x with me.", "BOOTH: Whoa, no. I got myself drunk so I could fire you and you decided not to have s*x with me, which I accepted gracefully. So, you regretting that decision?", "BRENNAN: No, I'm not. It was a very good decision and I stand by it.", "BOOTH: What's going on, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Do not call me Bones.", "FBI TECH: This cars been cleaned, sanded and repainted. The rug is new.", "BOOTH: So, nothing.", "FBI TECH: Nothing.", "JUDGE Hasty: Can I have my car back?", "LAWYER: I See no reason why not. You've done nothing but cooperate at every stage of this investigation.", "BRENNAN: What? That's it?", "BOOTH: Well, we don't have anything.", "BRENNAN: Well, my people should look at it.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because we're smarter than you.", "FBI TECH: Beg your pardon?", "BRENNAN: Oh, please. Do you really think the best and brightest go into law enforcement? No, the best and brightest go to the Jeffersonian.", "BOOTH: Oh, really? Because you know the one I met couldn't pick his nose without instruction.", "BRENNAN: The locking mechanism should be removed.", "BOOTH: Okay, excuse me. You know what? You really need to learn how to speak to human beings.", "BRENNAN: I speak six languages - two of which you've never even heard of.", "BOOTH: You know what? You're a cold fish.", "BRENNAN: You're a superstitious moron.", "BOOTH: Get a soul.", "BRENNAN: Get a brain.", "FBI TECH: Agent Booth?", "BOOTH & BRENNAN: (in unison) What?", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) I'm Agent Booth. (to the FBI Tech) What?", "(The FBI Tech holds up a piece of something in his palm. Brennan looks at it.)", "BOOTH: What is that?", "FBI TECH: I have no idea.", "BRENNAN: It's a stapes. In humans, it's a bone from the inner ear.", "BOOTH: Gemma Arringtons?", "BRENNAN: I have no way of knowing that without doing some tests - anyone who took high school science should know that.", "BOOTH: Well, anyone with a high school education would figure, hey, who else is it gonna be.", "BRENNAN: (to the FBI Tech) Send this to the Jeffersonian, we'll check it for DNA.", "(She storms off, Booth shakes his fists - he's frustrated)", "BOOTH: Alright, you know what? That's fine. (He pulls out his hand cuffs) That's it. Judge Hasty, you're under arrest, pal.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BRENNAN: Are you okay?", "BOOTH: (holding out a cup) Here. Have a glass of water.", "SWEETS: It's like - it's like you two missed your moment, then you punished each other for it and you know who ends up paying the price? Me. I do.", "Okay, what happened next.", "(Cut to: August '04. FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is interrogating the Judge (who is with his lawyer). Caroline and Brennan are also there.)", "BOOTH: (V.O.) Well the minute I had the judge in the interrogation room, he started to mess up.", "BOOTH: (he holds up an evidence bag) Stapes.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) It was Gemma Arrington's stapes, of course.", "BOOTH: (V.O) So we had proof she had been killed in the trunk of his car.", "BOOTH: (holding up a license plate) '56 Chevy, nice car. That's your locking..", "BOOTH (V.O) We also had testimony from the Valet who actually saw him pull in the back alley.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BOOTH: Lie upon lie.", "BRENNAN: Fact upon fact.", "BOOTH: But..but I didn't know, why.", "BRENNAN: Booth is obsessed why people do things.", "BOOTH: Yeah, what did Gemma see. Why did Hasty chase her though the back of the theatre?", "SWEETS: You figured it out, right?", "BOOTH: Not me.", "(He looks towards Brennan)", "BRENNAN: Me.", "(Cut to: August '04. FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room.)", "BRENNAN: (V.O) I noticed the way he touched his nose, very gingerly.", "(Brennan leans over and whispers something to Caroline. Then Caroline gets up and whispers in Booth's ear.)", "LAWYER: Well, considering you have no motive, I'm sure you can see there's no sense in detaining my client.", "BOOTH: I know what happened. When a Prosecutor tells the jury, they're gonna believe it too.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) It had to be something that would have ruined his career.", "BOOTH: (V.O) But also destroyed his judgment.", "BOOTH: You had your septum replaced. What was it? Cocaine? Crystal Meth? Gemma saw you snortin' something.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BRENNAN: He thought he killed her on the stairs, so he went to get his car.", "BOOTH: She regained consciousness as he loaded her into the trunk.", "BRENNAN: He panicked and slammed the lid, which killed her.", "(Cut to: August '04. FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room.)", "JUDGE HASTY: I just wanted to stop her. Reason with her. Maybe offer her a bribe, but she ran.", "LAWYER: That's enough, Myles.", "BOOTH: (V.O) And it was.", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "BRENNAN: Judge Hasty will be eligible for parole in 10 years.", "BOOTH: That's the story of our first case, Sweets. Sorry about your book.", "SWEETS: No. It's not. It's not. What happened between you two?", "BRENNAN: We started to argue.", "(Cut to: August '04. FBI Headquarters - Conference Room.)", "BOOTH: (V.O) In front of the victims mother.", "BRENNAN: (V.O) Well, I was worried that we still didn't have enough evidence to convict.", "(Booth stands up and grabs a hold of Brennan's arm, dragging her out of the conference room)", "BOOTH: (V.O) I told her this was definitely not the place to bring this up.", "(They get into the bullpen area)", "BRENNAN: Let go of me.", "BOOTH: I will if you would jus-", "(Brennan slaps him across the face)", "BRENNAN: Oh! What the hell?!", "BRENNAN: You are a bully. You - you grab my arm, just like the judge. You use your gun and your badge to intimidate people.", "BOOTH: Really? You use your brain to make people around you feel stupid.", "BRENNAN: Well, you are a stupid man. I hate you.", "BOOTH: Oh, you hate me. What, are you 10 years old? I'm not your dad!", "BRENNAN: I will never work with you again.", "(Brennan grabs her jacket and storms off)", "BOOTH: Who asked you?!", "(Cut to: Present Day. FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office.)", "SWEETS: You struck him?", "BOOTH: I shouldn't have grabbed her.", "BRENNAN: We're sorry about your book.", "SWEETS: Okay. This is..you. You are totally messed up. I always said that you could never kiss, because if you did, then the dam would break and now it turns out that you kissed. Did the dam break?", "BRENNAN: Wha-what does that mean?", "BOOTH: Well, He-he still thinks that we slept together.", "BRENNAN: We're - we're not in love with each other. It took us a year, after we kissed, to be in the same room together, right?", "BOOTH: Oh, uh, absolutely. Right. No more kissing or anything.", "SWEETS: If you're not in love, then how come you haven't been in any serious relationships since you first met, huh?", "BRENNAN: I don't really do that.", "BOOTH: You know, a job. Son.", "SWEETS: One of you has to have the courage to break this stalemate. You. (he points to Booth) It's gotta be you because you're the gambler. For once, make that work for you.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Something to eat?", "BRENNAN: I could eat.", "(They both get up to leave. Booth places the manuscript on the table)", "BOOTH: (to Sweets) Sorry about that book.", "(Sweets picks up one of the manuscripts and throws it behind him)", "(Cut to: Outside FBI Headquarters - Night. On the wall, there is the following quote: \"Nothing happens unless first a dream..\" - Carl Sandburg.", "Booth and Brennan are walking down the stairs.)", "BRENNAN: In his book, Sweets wrote that being abandoned by my parents made me convinced that all meaningful relationships are doomed.", "BOOTH: And he wrote that I got \"White Knight Syndrome\" cause of my physically abusive, alcoholic father.", "BRENNAN: Hate psychology.", "(Booth stops walking.)", "BOOTH: I'm the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance. (He moves closer to her) Look, I wanna give this a shot.", "BRENNAN: You mean us? (he nods) No. The FBI won't let us work together as a couple-", "BOOTH: Don't do that. That is no reason why we can't...", "(He cuts himself off and kisses her. She kisses him back and then places her hands on his chest and pushes him away.)", "BRENNAN: No. No.", "BOOTH: Why? Why?", "BRENNAN: You-you thought you were protecting me, but you're the one who needs protecting.", "BOOTH: Protecting from what?", "BRENNAN: From me! I - (she starts to break down) I don't have your kind of open heart.", "BOOTH: Just give it a chance..that's all I'm asking..", "BRENNAN: No, you said it yourself; the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.", "BOOTH: Well, then let's go for a different outcome here, alright? Let's just - hear me out, alright? You know when you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for 30 or 40 or 50 years, alright, it's always the guy who says \"I knew.\" I knew. Right from the beginning.", "BRENNAN: Your evidence is anecdotal.", "BOOTH: I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy. I know.", "BRENNAN: I- I am not a gambler; I'm a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how. I don't know how. (and with that, she breaks Booth's - and her own - heart) Please don't look so sad.", "BOOTH: Alright. Okay. (he sighs, and leans back against the wall) You're right. You're right.", "BRENNAN: Can we still work together?", "BOOTH: (after a slight pause) Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: But I gotta move on. I gotta find someone who's - who's gonna to love me in 30 years or 40 or 50.", "BRENNAN: (softly) I know.", "(Brennan wipes her eye and starts to walk away. Booth joins her. They bump shoulders and then she links her arm through his, puts his head on her shoulder and they walk off, together. Though they're not together, they'll still hold because they're the center.)", "END." ]

[ "An investigation leads Brennan back to her old high school, where a classmate of Brennan's is found murdered, similar to another girl in her class 15 years prior. Booth and Brennan go undercover as a married couple during the high school reunion to try to discover the killer, which includes several of her previous classmates. Brennan is helped by her only friend from high school, the janitor, Ray Buxley ( Robert Englund ), to help find the killer. Back at the lab, Wendell accidentally finds out from Hodgins that Angela believed she was pregnant and did not tell him. Wendell then tells her would have taken his share of the responsibility and consequences. Later, Angela ends their relationship as she felt his answer to the pregnancy was that it was his obligation. After the case, the team get together at the bar sharing their high school experience. Brennan expresses she was glad she attended the reunion and that she realizes how lucky she is to have the friendship she has today." ]

[ "(Open: Barn - Night. Two girls enter, carrying blankets)", "ANNA: This is my favorite spot.", "DEDE: I've only been here with boys before.", "ANNA: Me too, but I love that Katy Perry song so much. It speaks to me, you know?", "DEDE: Totally.", "(They place a blanket on the ground and lay down, facing each other)", "ANNA: So.. Okay. Just kissing, not touching things or anything.", "DEDE: No. Just the stuff that's in the song.", "(They lean in and just as they're about to kiss, they hear a noise)", "ANNA: I hear something.", "DEDE: It's your heart beating.", "(They lean in again, and just as their about to kiss there's another noise)", "ANNA: No, really. There's something out there.", "(They turn to their right and look. A skull, covered in maggots, is flying towards them and hits Dede in the face, then lands on the blanket. They scream)", "(Cut to: Woods - Day. Booth and Brennan arrive at the crime scene)", "BOOTH: I can't believe you grew up in this area.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I am an alumna of Burtonsville High.", "BOOTH: Ever bring a boy out her and uh -", "BRENNAN: And what? Touch his genetalia? No.", "BOOTH: Whoa. 'Kay, I was thinking that maybe just a little smooching.", "BRENNAN: I used to come out here to find animals to dissect; I didn't have a boyfriend.", "BOOTH: Maybe because you were cutting up little woodland creatures, maybe?", "(They meet up with the local Sheriff, Rebecca Conway, in the barn)", "SHERIFF REBECCA CONWAY: I'm Sheriff Rebecca Conway. You the Federal backup?", "BOOTH: (hoding up his badge) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Nice wheels. Nice face and bod. Very nice.", "BOOTH: (hesistantly) Thank you.", "BRENNAN: We know each other. Becky, right? I'm Temperance.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Have I arrested you before, hun?", "BRENNAN: No, you were my lab partner in Chemistry at Burtonsville High.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Are you absolutely sure? I have an excellent memory.", "BRENNAN: Positive. Though you are thinner now which is better for your cardiovascular system. In high school you were quite over weight. Hence the derrision from the other students.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Yeah, I remember you know. Your creepy girl. So, you're in town for the reunion..", "BOOTH: Ha ha ha. Reunion.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Yeah. (to Booth) I need a date - if you're free.", "BRENNAN: We're just here to inspect the remains.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Oh. No surprise there. (she starts to lead them to the remains) Two girls were out here rolling around..", "BOOTH: Two girls.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Yeah, it's the 21st, sweetheart. Get with the program. Anyway, that critter (points to a raccoon) ran into them right there with the skull on it's head.", "BRENNAN: It was probably eating the brains and eyes. Often scavengers-", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Don't need the details, Morticia. I'm keeping this quiet until I know what we're dealing with.", "(Brennan examines the remains; She picks up the skull)", "BRENNAN: Female. Age, indeterminite. Judging by the lack of staining, the victims head was severed post-morteum.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Ugh. No. Not cut up.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm glad you kept this quiet, Becky. There are probably more remains in the area.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: We're gonna need to search the bushes for more people parts, Lou!", "(Cut to: Woods - Day.)", "BRENNAN: I don't want the remains compromised.", "BOOTH: Don't compromise the remains.", "BRENNAN: She was a very careless lab partner.", "BOOTH: You gotta go to your reunion, Bones. We already flew all the way out here.", "BRENNAN: I'm not going. High school was not a happy time. For some reason, people didn't seem to like me.", "BOOTH: Which is exactly why you have to go now. Reunions are made for you to smear your successes in other people's faces. Your accomplishments are gonna kill 'em.", "BRENNAN: (bending down) I found something!", "SHERIFF CONWAY: (O.S) Oh! Lou, stay right here.", "BOOTH: Where are the ribs, Bones?", "BRENNAN: According to the legend, they've been cooked and eaten.", "BOOTH: Legend. What legend?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: They say a spirit lives in these woods. He takes over a person, makes them kill.", "BRENNAN: My senior year, a classmate was murdered and dismembered just like this.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Ribs gone.", "BRENNAN: They never found the killer.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: The Butcher of Burtonsville High. He's back.", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Wendell unpacks the remains. Brennan is talking to the team, via a live video feed, from her hotel room in Illinois.)", "WENDELL: The Butcher of Burtonsville?", "BRENNAN: That's what we called him.", "HODGINS: Insect activity puts time of death at approximately 10 days ago.", "CAM: You should swab the dismemberment points - there could be trace evidence from the blade.", "HODGINS: You know, you get very bossy when you don't have flesh to play with?", "CAM: I am the boss.", "WENDELL: (to Brennan) And he removed his victims ribs because...", "BRENNAN: He eats them. Barbecue.", "CAM: You don't actually believe that.", "BRENNAN: There's no evidence of cannibalism. It's merely an urban legend.", "HODGINS: But they never found OUT who killed the girl in your class?", "BRENNAN: No. Sarah Tidwyler. Booth is getting the old case files to find links.", "WENDELL: The stumps on the victims 4th and 5th ribs show evidence of hemorrhagic staining.", "CAM: So two ribs weren't sawed off.", "BRENNAN: Fractured and then snapped off it appears.", "ANGELA: So, your high school is famous, Sweetie. The earliest reported mention of The Butcher of Burtonsville was in 1956. Young people were warned to aviod secluded locations at night, as there was a lunatic who killed and dismembered", "his victims, then barbecued and ate their ribs.", "BRENNAN: Yet, until Sarah's murder it was just an urban legend - society's attempt to control behavior through a fear-based myth.", "HODGINS: This is very teenage slasher movie-ish.", "BRENNAN: Whatever blade was used left very clean and precise cuts.", "CAM: It's always a tad creepy when you admire the killers handiwork.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office. Sweets is talking to Booth, via a live video feed from his hotel room. Sweets is looking over the file of Sarah Tidwiller.)", "SWEETS: Now, this first victim, Sarah Tidwiller, was a member of the class of '94?", "BOOTH: And the second victim was killed just before the reunion of the same class so it doesn't sound like a coincidence to me. The cops here agreed to keep everything quiet until we can ID the victim and catalogue the evidence.", "SWEETS: And this, uh, Ray Buxley, was a prime suspect in '94?", "BOOTH: Yeah, he was the high school custodian, but they didn't have enough to hold him.", "SWEETS: Lives alone. Low-status job. Obsession with gruesome crime stories. Surrounded by teenage girls. Very creepy. It's like Freddy creepy.", "BOOTH: Okay, well. You can check him out.", "SWEETS: Since you're trying to keep the town from another wave of collective hysteria, I wouldn't suggest announcing your FBI status.", "BOOTH: We go undercover!", "SWEETS: Exactly.", "BOOTH: Since, uh, Bones is already invited to the reunion, we get more information if she's seen as alumni.", "SWEETS: Alumna. Yes.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Great. You know, correcting my Latin - not the best way to make friends.", "SWEETS: Sorry.", "BOOTH: Great. Okay. See ya later, Sweets.", "SWEETS: Wait. Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Yes, Dr. Sweets?", "SWEETS: You and Dr. Brennan are in the same motel?", "BOOTH: Yeah, but they are not adjoining rooms. (he picks up the laptop to show Sweets the room) Okay, Sweets, look. They do not adjoin. See, the bathroom and I'm, uh, closer to the ice machine.", "SWEETS: No, I'm merely asking because of your feelings for Dr. Brennan..", "BOOTH: Alright, I get it. Alright, Sweets. I respect that but you know what? I've moved on. I already even have a date for next week.", "SWEETS: (not believing him) Oh, really? Who might that be?", "BOOTH: Thanks. Take care.", "(Booth closes the laptop and connection)", "SWEETS: Who might that be, Booth? Booth? Who might that be?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Wendell is carrying a tray)", "WENDELL: There appear to be some metal flakes embedded in the margins of the bone.", "HODGINS: Ooh. Come to the king.", "WENDELL: Man. Social pressures, sports, sexual psychodramas; I'm surprised there aren't more murders in high school.", "HODGINS: High school sounds a lot more exciting than mine.", "WENDELL: Pretty tough place. A lot of violence, lot of drugs, lot of pregnancies.", "HODGINS: So you've been through the 'babydaddy' scare before?", "WENDELL: Before? Before What?", "(It's then that Hodgins realizes that Angela never told Wendell that she had thought that she may have been pregenant)", "HODGINS: Oh, no...", "(Wendell heads out to find Angela)", "HODGINS: oooh. Ugh.", "(Hodgins runs off to try to beat him there. Wendell stops to take off his gloves and Hodgins passes him up and runs into Angela's office first.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)", "HODGINS: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had no idea you hadn't told him. Big mouth and I am sorry.", "ANGELA: Big mouth what?", "(Wendell enters, looking upset.)", "ANGELA: Oh. (she realizes now what Hodgins is apologzing for) Oh.", "WENDELL: You were pregnant?", "(Hodgins heads toward the door)", "HODGINS: I was gonna...leave but you're kinda in my - you know, I'm gonna go around..", "(Wendell and Angela are alone)", "ANGELA: No. I was not pregnant.", "WENDELL: But you thought you might be pregnant.", "ANGELA: Very briefly, Wendell.", "WENDELL: Why didn't you tell me? I'm pretty sure I'm the only possibility.", "ANGELA: Yes. Yes, of course. Do you think that we could talk about this later and - and maybe not here?", "WENDELL: Oh, of course. I'm sorry - it was just - we can absolutely discuss this later.", "(Wendell leaves)", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Day. Booth & Brennan are walking outside)", "BOOTH: How well do you know this, uh, custodian.", "BRENNAN: Very well. He used to find dead animals for me to dissect. We used to have long discussion about death. Mr.", "Buxley would say that it was a natural process.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) You were Wednesday Adams.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what you're talking about.", "BOOTH: Well, in high school you had a creepy custodian as a best friend; I bet you had a pet rat, too.", "BRENNAN: No. I had a mouse and a snake and some spiders.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) Wow, and you weren't popular! Now, that's amazing.", "(They turn the corner and run into Julie Coyle and Brad Benson)", "JULIE COYLE: I am so sorry. My nerves are totally fried. I haven't slept in days because of this damn reunion.", "BRENNAN: Julie Coyle?", "JULIE: Yes. Do we know each other?", "BRENNAN: Temperance Brennan.", "(She shakes Julie's hand)", "JULIE: Temperance! Oh, yes! (she pulls her hand away) You-you liked dead things.", "BRAD BENSON: I thought that was you. Wow! The years have been very kind to you, Temperance. Very.", "JULIE: Ha! Well, not that 'very'. She liked dead things, Brad.", "BRENNAN: Yes, but now I'm a wealthy author and a successful scientist (to Booth) Did I do that right?", "BOOTH: (to Brenna) No. (to Brad) I'm, uh, her husband. Bobby Kent. Temperance's lesser half.", "BRAD: Ah, Brad Benson. Julie Coyle. So you guys have any kids yet?", "BOOTH: Oh, no. Not yet but we want a house full, right?", "BRENNAN: Yes. We have intercourse every chance we get.", "BOOTH: Wow. Ah, yeah. I mean, all over the place.", "JULIE: Well, we have a gym to decorate so..", "BRAD: Oh, you know, Evelyn is gonna be so happy to see you, Temperance. \"Bygones are bygones\" she always says.", "BRENNAN: You married Evelyn Simms?", "JULIE: We were all so jealous. Evelyn's off saving some unpronounceable country.", "BRAD: Ah, Nicaragua.", "JULIE: See. (to Brad) So, Prom King Brad here has been giving me a hand.", "BRAD: But Evvy is gonna be back flying back for the reunion, so we'll see you there. Good to meet you, Bobby.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (to Brennan) Bygones be bygones? What did that Brad guy mean? What's going on between you and Evelyn? Something happen?", "BRENANN: Not important. We were children. We should go see Mr. Buxley.", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers. Angela and Wendell are having lunch.)", "ANGELA: By morning, I knew I wasn't pregnant so I- I saw no reason to bring it up.", "WENDELL: What you're saying would make perfect sense to Dr. Brennan but it - it feels wrong, you know?", "ANGELA: Maybe I should have told you. I don't know. I - I just thought it was gonna bring up a bunch of questions that we weren't ready for.", "WENDELL: I can answer those questions.", "ANGELA: What do you mean?", "WENDELL: If you got pregnant, it's your decision what to do.", "ANGELA: Well, yeah. I know it is.", "WENDELL: I get that but if you decided to keep the baby, I would do the right thing.", "ANGELA: You would?", "WENDELL: I absolutely would. I'd bear my share of the conqequences; more than my fair share. I'd marry you if that's what you wanted. I would do the right thing.", "ANGELA: I'm sorry, Wendell. I should have told you.", "(She puts her hand on his cheek, he leans over and kisses her on the cheek. They laugh.)", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Day. Booth and Brennan are outside the Custodian's Room)", "BRENNAN: (knocking on the door) Mr. Buxley?", "(When they get no response, they walk in the office. The walls are lined with sharp tools, knives, saws and stuffed dead animals.)", "BRENNAN: Ah, I have so many fond memories of this place.", "BOOTH: (sarcastically) Gee, I can't imagine why this guy was a suspect.", "BRENNAN: Mr. Buxley?", "(He suddenly appears, holding a plate of ribs. Brennan jumps)", "BRENNAN: Ah, Mr. Buxley! It's good to see you.", "MR. BUXLEY: And you. You grew up good.", "(Brennan is obviously very happy about seeing him. She keeps smiling and laughing. Booth, on the other hand, thinks the guy is creepy and keeps eyeing him)", "BRENNAN: Thank you. This is -", "BOOTH: Her husband. Um, Bobby.", "BRENNAN: My husband, Bobby.", "MR. BUXLEY: Lucky man. You care for some ribs? Suculent. Juicy.", "(He licks his fingers)", "BOOTH: Uh, I'm fine. And I'm full. I already ate. You have quite the collection of blades around here.", "MR. BUXLEY: Yeah, well a man never knows when he might need to cut.", "BOOTH: That's quite a motto.", "BRENNAN: I was just telling my husband about Sarah Tidwyler. Do you remember her?", "MR. BUXLEY: Folks here thought I killed her.", "BRENNAN: Well, not me.", "MR. BUXLEY: No. No, not you. I could always count on you. Say, ya know. I might have me a dead rabbit around here. You like to cut it open?", "BRENNAN: That is so sweet.", "BOOTH: No, that's not sweet. I mean, not now. Probably because Mr. Buxley here has to get the campus ready for the big reunion, hmm.", "MR. BUXLEY: I suppose.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm sure you work long hours, late into the night, probably even weekends. Right? Maybe even the weekend before last. Were you working then?", "MR. BUXLEY: Why'd you wanna ask me about that particular weekend?", "BRENNAN: You know what? Just tell him or he'll keep asking. He can't help it. (she lightly punches him in the shoulder) He's a newspaper man.", "MR. BUXLEY: Well, that weekend, I was away. I, uh...(he turns and puts the plate of ribs down and starts over to a closet) went and bought this.", "(After a few seconds, he pulls out a copy of \"Bred in the Bone\" - Brennan's first book.)", "MR. BUXLEY: First edition!", "BRENNAN: My first novel!", "MR. BUXLEY: You named the killer after me. I'da shed a tear if my duct worked proper.", "BRENNAN: Awwww.", "MR. BUXLEY: I'd thought you might be coming to the reunion; maybe you could, uh, put your pen to it for me. Would ya please?", "BRENNAN: With pleasure.", "BOOTH: Well, here. Use my pen.", "(Booth eyes Mr. Buxley. Mr. Buxley eyes Booth. Booth does not trust this guy.)", "BRENNAN: Thanks, sweetie. (she starts to write) \"To the real Ray Buxley, Who taught me about death.\"", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Wendell is video conferencing with Brennan when Angela walks in.)", "ANGELA: Hey, you said the skulls ready for me?", "BRENNAN: What about casts of the blade injuries?", "WENDELL: Still working on them.", "ANGELA: Hey, sweetie. Wow, that is a crappy motel room.", "BRENNAN: Oh, the bed has magic fingers!", "ANGELA: Okay. I'm gonna drive by that one. Uh, how's the reunion?", "BRENNAN: I find I am uncomfortable with people who disliked me in high school.", "ANGELA: So you're pressed for an ID. I'll try to be quick with a facial reconstruction.", "WENDELL: Turns out our victim has a remodeled mandibular fracture, so that should narrow down the search.", "BRENNAN: Let me look at that. Can you put it under the Medio Cam?", "(Wendell moves the skull under the cam.)", "ANGELA: Is there a problem?", "BRENNAN: This fracture was made by a blunt object, striking her face at an almost 90 degree angle.", "WENDELL: That's in my note, yes, and the remodeling gave us an appoximate age - about 30.", "BRENNAN: 33. She was 33.", "ANGELA: Well, how do you know that?", "BRENNAN: Because I'm the one who broke her jaw. With a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates. Evelyn Simms.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweet's Office. Sweets is video conferencing with Booth and Brennan, who are outside the school, by their car. They're scanning through Brennan's year book - checking out her classmates.)", "SWEETS: So this (he pulls up a picture) is Evelyn Simms. Wow. Homecoming Queen, Cheerleading captain. President of the Girls Service Club - a girl like this, she wouldn't have given me the time of day. Which, of course, makes her that much hotter.", "BOOTH: Sweets, I'm sure you really didn't want to say that outloud, right?", "SWEETS: It slipped out.", "BRENNAN: Everybody loved Evelyn.", "BOOTH: A lot of people hated her, too, for being so popular. I mean, you were the one who decked her with a tennis racket.", "BRENNAN: No. I- I -I never enjoyed playing doubles; someone is always in your way. Although my classmates thought I hit her on purpose.", "BOOTH: Well, perhaps, subconsciously you did. I mean, a girl like yourself - with marginal social standing - takes out her hostility by striking the popular girl. I mean, it is quite common.", "BRENNAN: Okay, that sounded clinical but felt very insulting. (to Sweets) What do you hope to find in 15 year old memorabilia.", "SWEETS: Basic victimology. Now, we already know that there is a similarity in the method of killing. They're in the same class; perhaps there's an interpersonal connection.", "BOOTH: (notcing a picture of Brennan) Whoa, Sweet! Hold it right there! (to Brennan) There you are! That's your high school picture! Why weren't you smiling?", "BRENNAN: I wasn't amused by anything. Okay, none of this is pertinent to the investigation.", "SWEETS: Reunions can rekindle old feelings of resentment. If a classmates life hasn't worked out, they might see Evelyn's happiness as a personal threat.", "(Sweets stops at a picture of Sarah Tidwyler)", "BOOTH: This is the girl that was murdered in 1994.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Sarah Tidwyler.", "SWEETS: Physically, she appears nothing like Evelyn. No apparent interests in common.", "BOOTH: Look, he has his arm around her.", "SWEETS: That's Evelyn's husband, Brad.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Brad was dating Sarah when she was murdered.", "SWEETS: And now he's married to the most recent victim. That's a pretty strong connection.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform)", "WENDELL: This is a cross section of the victims distal femur. As you can see, the kerf wall is smooth - indicating whatever blade was used, the size of its teeth were small.", "CAM: But it did have teeth, so we're looking for a saw of some type.", "WENDELL: Judging by the bone loss from the cuts, a saw blade about 2 mm thick, I can't determine what type of blade yet, though.", "CAM: Let me know when you can.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: Whoa, hold on. Show and tell is not over yet. So, we have got two particulates transferred during dismemberment - it's a pretty messy process, well, with all that blood spurting and muscles and sinews tearing...", "CAM: Okay, we get it. What did you find?", "HODGINS: Well, after much effort - and expertise - I found calcium sulfate and flecks of 3003-H14 aluminum.", "WENDELL: How are either of those, in any way, cooler than discovering the saw?", "CAM: I'll let Dr. Brennan know that we are looking for a saw which can cut through metal. And you don't have to fight, you both did well. (she turns and walks away, then to herself) I run a kindergarten.", "(Cut to: Brennan's Hotel Room. She is going through her bag when she gets an alert that someone is trying to contact her to video conference. She opens her computer screen to connect and it's Angela - in her office.)", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "ANGELA: Wendell was so sweet, ya know. He had this stiff upper lip and - and he kept telling me that he'd do the right thing. And his jaw was all tightened and manly.", "BRENNAN: Wednell does seem to live by a very strong sense of morality and ethics.", "ANGELA: He's probably the best guy I've ever met. I mean, he's good hearted and he's honest.", "BRENNAN: You're saying good things, but your tone indicates you have doubts.", "ANGELA: 'Cause when Hodgins thought I was pregnant he said \"I'm your guy\". Wendell talked about bearing the consequences and doing the right thing.", "BRENNAN: Well, anthropologically speaking, males doing their duties form the bedrock of civilization.", "ANGELA: That's not very poetic.", "BRENNAN: Because males tended to find those duties onerous, they took every opportunity to avoid them. Mostly through geographic exploration, meaningless conquests and war.", "ANGELA: Hodgins wanted to be with me and the baby, which I guess means that he's less likely, than Wendell, to go off and start a war, right?", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Day. Booth and Brennan are outside talking to Sheriff Conway.)", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Brad was always the Golden Boy. Always got what he wanted. Rumor is his business isn't doing very good.", "BRENNAN: Booth! You can't give this creedence. It's gossip, which by definition, is a form of entertainment - not information - and her grammar is appalling.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: It is a miracle that you have any life whatsoever.", "BRENNAN: You cheated off my tests in Chemistry.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: (to Booth) I could supply you a little bit of fun while you're here because you're probably dying with this one.", "BOOTH: We're talking about Brad Benson, right?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Right.", "BOOTH: Right. Right.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Um, well. Brad has his own autobody shop and rumor is he's losing money. Big time.", "BRENNAN: Owning his own auto body shop - he would have acces to a saw that cuts metal.", "BOOTH: Well, I'll just get an Agent to check out his financials. Anything else?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: No. I'm gonna go in the gym and see if they need help setting up. (to Booth) But if you need anything, holler.", "(She walks away)", "BRENNAN: If I had covered my paper, she would still be taking that class.", "BOOTH: Wow.", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym. Booth and Brennan enter. Inside the Burtonsville High Gymnasium, volunteers set up for the reunion. Brad chops pineapples, Buxley splits wood, Julie hacksaws coconuts, Andy Pfleuger wields a power saw. Weapons are everywhere. )", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Andy Pfleuger. He used to have a crush on me.", "(A quick montage of everyone cutting, sawing & chopping)", "BRENNAN: You're right, Booth. It's nice to be back.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room.)", "WENDELL: Okay, I found stab marks on the posterior and right lateral side. Posterior iliac spine, L1 & T10 vertebrae and", "here on the inferior angle of the scapula.", "CAM: Cause of death, Mr. Bray?", "WENDELL: All the stabs wounds terminate in bone, so they wouldn't have been fatal, except for this one.", "CAM: The weapon could have passed through the 8th intercostal space, perforating the lung causing her to bleed to death.", "HODGINS: The victims husband had an auto body shop, right? Take a look at this. Looks like transfer from the murder weapon. Thin flecks of iridescent metal. You know, the kind that they use to coat a paint job on a car.", "CAM: So the weapon is found in an auto body shop?", "WENDELL: I haven't ID'd the weapon yet, but check out the microtomography. The blade was double-edged, with an identical taper on both sides.", "HODGINS: So, someone killed her with a really sharp piece of pie.", "(Cam gets a text message)", "CAM: Oh, Angela has the photos Dr. Brennan uploaded of potential weapons from the reunion.", "HODGINS: Weapons. Yeah, we didn't have those at my reunion.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela has the pictures on the big screen and Cam, Wendell and Hodgins are", "looking them over)", "CAM: SO this is the class of '94.", "WENDELL: Man, my high school's lookin' good.", "ANGELA: I think Brennan was the normal one.", "CAM: Do you see anything that could match the stab wounds?", "WENDELL: No. The cleaver has a totally different blade profile.", "HODGINS: Right, we're looking for a piece of pie, right?", "ANGELA: Look at her.", "(she pulls up a picture of a girl with a chain saw)", "CAM: Zoom in on those tools on the table.", "WENDELL: There. Can you give me the angle of that tabor?", "ANGELA: Uh, 48 degrees.", "CAM: Compare that to the marks on the bone.", "ANGELA: It's pretty close. This ice carving tool could definitely be the murder weapon.", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym. Sheriff Conway is tracing the lines in the ice sculpture with her finger)", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Carrie is a sweetie pie! She made the cake for my birthday.", "BRENNAN: Well, Carrie isn't here. Where did she go?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: I don't know. You're the genius.", "BOOTH: Any bad blood between her and Evelyn?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Evelyn is on the city council. She gave Carrie her catering contract for city functions, school lunches..", "JULIE: She took it away, too. They had a big blow out. Now Carrie's lookin' for work. So, what's goin' on? Leaving me out of the gossip?", "BRENNAN: No. I love to gossip. Remember when you were locked out of the locker room, in your underwear, and the boys took pictures and then they put it all over school?", "(Becky & Brennan laugh)", "JULIE: I can't believe you'd bring that up.", "BOOTH: That's not gossip, honey. That's embarrassing.", "JULIE: You're as clueless as ever.", "(Carrie Turner appears carrying a cake across the gym, with a big knife in one hand)", "BRENNAN: There's Carrie.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Oh, I can't believe it'd be her. Her cakes are so light and fluffy.", "(Cut to: Staircase near Founding Fathers. Angela and Wendell are sitting outside on the steps.)", "WENDELL: You're breaking up with me?", "ANGELA: Yes.", "WENDELL: Because I would have done the right thing by you?", "ANGELA: I'm not a duty, Wendell. You didn't do anything wrong. In - in fact, it's the opposite. You're the best. But you can't tell me that in the back of your heart you aren't thinking that another upcoming duty might be to let me down as gently as you can.", "WENDELL: I really, really like you, Angela.", "ANGELA: I really like you too. You're sexy and smart and good. You're like \"saint\" good.", "WENDELL: Well, I'm a sexy saint.", "(They laugh)", "ANGELA: Hey. Do not knock that. It's a very rare and hot combo. You have somebody out there who isn't a duty.", "WENDELL: So do you. I think we both know who.", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym.)", "BOOTH: Okay, look. You have to question her. You know. As her old friend.", "BRENNAN: No- she didn't like me then. No one did and they still don't. I obviously had no social skills.", "BOOTH: They're not gonna suspect a thing, alright, because you're an alumni.", "BRENNAN: Alumna.", "BOOTH: UGH!", "BRENNAN: Why can't I hang out with Mr. Buxley?", "BOOTH: Listen, I'm gonna be right here next to you. Okay? You just go up to her and you say, \"Hi. How are you?\" and then you just, you know, spark up a conversation.", "(They walk over to Carrie Turner and Andy Pfleuger)", "BRENNAN: Hi, Carrie. How have you been? Hello, Andy.", "ANDY PFLEUGER: Hello, Temperance. I'm the shop teacher now. In charge of the entire shop program. You look really good. Really.", "CARRIE TURNER: Two seconds ago her was trying to get into my pants.", "BOOTH: I'm her husband, Bobby Kent.", "ANDY: Oh. Is the marriage working out because statistically...", "BOOTH: Are you serious?", "CARRIE: Go inflate a doll, Andy. (he leaves, Carrie sighs) Thanks for the rescue. So, you actually look normal now.", "BRENNAN: Thank you. I heard Evelyn ruined your career.", "CARRIE: But you're not, are you.", "BOOTH: My wife just meant how difficult it must be with this economy and trying to find work. I know how terrible Temperance felt. Isn't that right, sweetheart?", "BRENNAN: (unconvincing) Okay. Sure.", "CARRIE: It is hard. I lost everything. Maybe it wasn't Evvy's fault but I had to go live with my parents until I find something else. Almost didn't make it back for the reunion.", "BOOTH: So you weren't here this past weekend.", "(Brennan's phone rings.)", "CARRIE: No. I was buying diapers for my dad.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Hodgins.", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Great. (to Carrie) You'll have to excuse us. That cake looks great, by the way.", "CARRIE: Oh, yeah. Your cake isn't bad either. Are you sure you and Morticia are working out.", "BOOTH: (he exhales) Slow down.", "(They walk away, Brennan is on the phone with Hodgins at the Medico Legal Lab. He's in the Bone Room)", "BRENNAN: Okay, Hodgins. What do you have?", "HODGINS: Hey. So the calcium sulfate? It was plain, old chalk and the particles in the stab marks were clear coat varnish.", "BRENNAN: Chalk and varnish. Well, do you have anything on the murder weapon or the saw?", "WENDELL: The negative hook angle on the striations on the bones indicate a bandsaw.", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Bandsaw.", "BOOTH: Bingo.", "BRENNAN: Bingo based on what?", "BOOTH: Bingo, Bango. Where else are you gonna find a bandsaw and chalk?", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Hallway. Booth and Brennan are looking for the shop room.)", "BOOTH: Shop class. No offense, but you know, I hate your school.", "MR. BUXLEY: Temperance should too. (he suddenly appears at the top of a staircase, mopping the floor.) They never treated her good enough here.", "BRENNAN: Hello, Mr. Buxley.", "MR. BUXLEY: Careful in the dark, kids.", "(A sound of a saw resonates through the hall)", "BRENNAN: The saw.", "(They head towards where the sound is coming from but Booth looks up at the staircase where Mr. Buxley was but he's already gone - just as quickly as he appeared.)", "BOOTH: (starting after her) Careful, Bones.", "(They find the Wood Shop, only to find Andy Pfleuger using the bandsaw to carve something out of wood. They get closer and see that he's spelled out \"TEMPERANCE\")", "ANDY: Do you like it? You're one of my girls now, Temperance.", "(They notice a wheel barrow filled with names of other girls made out of wood)", "ANDY: Do you like it? It's just a token of my affection. It's for you, Temperance.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Thank you, Andy.", "(She takes the name plate, hesitantly)", "BOOTH: No. No \"Thank you, Andy.\" (he takes the name plate) She's married.", "ANDY: Things happen.", "BOOTH: Yeah. We know.", "BRENNAN: You asked Sarah to prom, didn't you?", "ANDY: Yeah. I mean, I think she would have went with me too, if she'da lived.", "BRENNAN: Then did you think that Evelyn would leave Brad for you?", "ANDY: Well, I've heard Brad has had business trouble. I mean, ya know, she deserves somebody who can provide her stability.", "BOOTH: You know, I smell bleach, honey.", "ANDY: I know. I came in here, the week before last, and the place was really spic and span. You know, Ray doesn't usually do such a good job.", "MR. BUXLEY: Wasn't me.", "BOOTH: Do you always just appear?", "MR. BUXLEY: Bleach cleans blood. Maybe...somebody cut theirselves. Bad.", "BRENNAN: You are good, Mr. Buxley. You are very good. Ah. I've missed you.", "BOOTH: Did you want something, Mr. Buxley?", "Mr. BUXLEY: Oh, right. Uh, Julie asked me to get you all upstairs, uh. Parties startin'.", "ANDY: Uh, coming.", "BRENNAN: We'll be right there. I want to show Bobby the picture of me in the science cabinet.", "BOOTH: Oh, that'd be great. Where's that again?", "BRENNAN: It's down the hall.", "BOOTH: Hurry up.", "(Brennan starts snapping pictures)", "BRENNAN: Maybe Angela and Wendell can match the saw blade from the photos.", "BOOTH: What if this whole place was bleached, there's gonna be a lot of blood.", "BRENNAN: If Evelyn was dismembered here, even if the room was cleaned, the killer may have left some evidence.", "BOOTH: I'll gonna go look for a weapon.", "BRENNAN: Pie-shaped point.", "BOOTH: Right. Pie-shaped point.", "BRENNAN: The saw would have created a lot of bone dust. (Booth gets a text message) Some of the dust could have gone in to this computer vent..", "BOOTH: I'm getting a text.", "BRENNAN: Found some. (She scrapes some of the dust in to an envelope) This might be bone dust.", "BOOTH: Turns out, Brad had a large life insurance policy on Evelyn. He definitely knows his way around shop tools. The evidence sure points to Brad.", "(Brennan finds a water cooler and fills a cup with water.)", "BOOTH: What'd ya got?", "(She then proceeds to dump the dust particles into the water to see if any of them sink - which would mean it's bone. Some of the particles sink.)", "BRENNAN: Bone dust.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Lounge Area. Hodgins and Wendell are taking a coffee break.)", "HODGINS: It's none of my business if you broke up with Angela.", "WENDELL: It's your business because we're friends and it's kinda a big deal for me.", "HODGINS: Oh. Yeah. Right. Uh, I'm sorry. Of course. You know what? You - you need to - you need to go out. And get drunk, you know. Pick a fight. Steal a car. Come on. I got your back.", "WENDELL: What I need is for you to know that I did my best, concerning Angela.", "HODGINS: Yeah. I know that already.", "WEDELL: I haven't told you about it.", "HODGINS: You don't have to; I know you.", "(They move to the railing overlooking the platform)", "WENDELL: Someday, maybe we can talk about what kind of woman Angela is.", "HODGINS: Someday, yeah.", "WENDELL: I guess, somewhere I always knew she was just on loan.", "HODGINS: She is awesome, isn't she.", "WENDELL: It was totally worth it, man. I mean...", "HODGINS: I know.", "WENDELL: I know you know.", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym. The party is in full swing now. Everyone is dancing, including Booth and Brennan)", "BRAD: (on phone) Well, then let me talk to your supervisor's supervisor...", "BOOTH: The sheriff said that Brad is upset. You know, Evelyn should be here by now.", "BRENNAN: You know, a lot of people thought I killed Sarah. I think that's why they're so cold to me but I was fine, you know. I had science and history..", "BOOTH: And Mr. Buxley.", "BRENNAN: Yeah.", "(Mr. Buxley is off to the side watching everyone. Becky and Andy are dancing. Carrie is looking on, upset and Brad is still on the phone)", "BRAD: (on phone) Yes, I'll hold - for the 50th time.", "BRENNAN: Oh! The Electric Slide was my favorite dance", "(Brennan starts to do the Electric Slide while Booth does the Sprinkler and other cheesy dance moves)", "BRENNAN: I never understood why my classmates didn't appreciate my dance moves more.", "(The song changes. \"A Kiss from a Rose\" by Seal comes on and couples start to pair off to slow dance - while Booth tries to avoid slow dancing by talking about the case.)", "BOOTH: So, we get anymore information from the squints on the murder weapon?", "BRENNAN: The ice carving tool was close but not an exact match.", "BOOTH: Right. Let's get some punch. Let's get some punch.", "BRENNAN: (stopping him) Oh! Can we dance? Booth?", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: It's Seal.", "BOOTH: Well, it's a slow song.", "BRENNAN: Oh, I'm sorry. Is that too difficult for you?", "BOOTH: (hesitantly) Oh, I just don't want any misunderstandings, here, that's all, Bones. I mean, ya know, we, uh, opened a door that neither one of us wants to walk though.", "BRENNAN: I know. I- I just was asking to dance. Because I remembered the song. I'm sorry.", "BOOTH: Nah. You know what? Hey, it's just a dance. It's your reunion. Okay. Let's do it. Let's dance. Hey. Come on.", "(Brennan moves towards him and wraps her hand around his neck, to get closer, but he pushes her away, placing his hands on her waist- leaving a huge space between them)", "BOOTH: Okay.", "BRENNAN: Oh. (she laughs) Why are you so far away?", "BOOTH: You know, just keeping room for the Holy Spirit. That's all. (he looks over towards Mr. Buxley.) Yow!", "(Brennan turns to look. Mr. Buxley is holding a sharp knife)", "BRENNAN: Why are you all so suspicious of Mr. Buxley?", "BOOTH: Why? Because, you know, he's psycho, he has access to the shop and he has a huge knife.", "(Mr. Buxley is near a rope and takes the knife and cuts it. Stars come down from the ceiling and everyone applauds.)", "BOOTH: (looking at the stars) That is so cool. (he looks at Brennan) Bones, you're tearing up.", "BRENNAN: This is the prom that I never got to go to.", "(Booth smiles and moves towards Brennan, she moves in close and wraps her arms around his neck and places her head on his shoulder. At first, Booth is surprised but accepts the dance. They both seem apprehensive at first but after a few seconds, they both look content; happy to be there, dancing together and for those few moments, everything is how it should (could) be.)", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym. Time has passed but the party is still going strong. Booth and Brennan are sitting at a table, eating.)", "BOOTH: Could be the shop teacher, right? Everyone turns him down and he freaks out because he's running out of time to lose his virginity.", "BRENNAN: Well, you still haven't confirmed that Carrie was in Florida.", "(Carrie walks up carrying pie)", "CARRIE: Pie?", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah. Sure, that's great. I love pie.", "CARRIE: Can't believe Evelyn missed the reunion.", "BRENNAN: If she never comes back, then you might get your catering contract back.", "(Carrie walks away, annoyed)", "BOOTH: See the serving thing? Could be the murder weapon.", "BRENNAN: The angles wrong. Andy asked me to Prom after Sarah was murdered. I should have said yes; this is fun! (she laughs) Except for the murder. (She looks over at the stars) They're beautiful, aren't they?", "BOOTH: (eating pie and not paying attention) Yeah, that's great.", "(Brennan continues to look at them but suddenly, she realizes something.)", "BRENNAN: The points are about 48 degrees. (she gets up) Just like Angela's estimate.", "BOOTH: (noticing she got up) What are you doing. Whoa, whoa.", "(He grabs his pie plate and follows after her)", "BRENNAN: Excuse me.", "(She moves a chair under one of the stars)", "BOOTH: What are ya doing, Bones?", "(Andy and Julie are talking when Julie notices Brennan on the chair)", "JULIE: Look at her. She is still weird. Hands off, Morticia.", "(Brennan pulls the star off the wire)", "BRENNAN: (to Booth, handing him the star) Hey, just hold that. (She holds up her phone to take a picture) Just hold up the star and smile, sweetheart.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: They're a frickin' love story and I'm feedin' cats.", "(Brennan takes a picture, Booth is holding up the star and his pie - huge fake smile on his face.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. They're looking at the picture that Brennan just took of Booth on the big screen)", "ANGELA: So the star points have a 52 degree taper.", "CAM: An exact match for the injuries found on the bones.", "ANGELA: Yeah, and the edging shows that the stars were cut by the same saw that was used to dismember the body.", "HODGINS: But there are multiple wounds. It's hard to believe that she was stabbed, repeatedly, with the star until she was killed.", "WENDELL: Can you show us the placement of all the bone injuries?", "(She brings up a skeleton on the screen and denotes where the stab wounds were)", "CAM: Stab wounds are usually localized.", "ANGELA: Well, maybe there were multiple stars.", "WENDELL: There. Look. The picture from shop class.", "(Angela bring up the picture)", "ANGELA: Okay, well this is the drying rack. Uh, this is where they placed the stars when the varnish was drying. So let's see if the points line up.", "(Angela starts the animation)", "WENDELL: The wounds are so deep, falling wouldn't kill her.", "ANGELA: Well, unless somebody shoved her onto them.", "WENDELL: That explains the two ribs that were broken and not cut. They were fractured when the murderer through Evelyn onto the stars.", "CAM: Digging the stars into her bones and puncturing the pleural cavity, killing her.", "HODGINS: Somebody really hated her.", "(Cut to: Burtonsville High School - Gym. Brennan is seated at a table, talking to Cam on the phone while Booth listens in.)", "BRENNAN: (on phone) Okay, thanks, Cam. (she hangs up the phone then to Booth) The stars are the murder weapon. They were made on the same bandsaw that dismembered Evelyn.", "BOOTH: Who made the stars?", "(Brennan spots Mr. Buxley sitting by the stage)", "BRENNAN: I'll ask.", "(She gets up and walks over to him)", "MR. BUXLEY: You're not here for the reunion, are you Miss Temperance?", "BRENNAN: No, Mr. Buxley.", "MR. BUXLEY: Couldn't imagine that. So, who's dead.", "BRENNAN: Evelyn. These stars were made here. In the shop.", "MR. BUXLEY: The stars killed her?", "BRENNAN: Do you know who made them?", "MR. BUXLEY: Yeah. Julie. She made all the decorations. She's a regular Martha Stewart.", "BRENNAN: Julie?", "MR. BUXLEY: Yeah. Don't surprise me, though. One look at her and you can tell she's off. You know them smiley ones, they always give me the willies.", "(Becky motions for Brennan to join her)", "BRENNAN: What was wrong?", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Um, Brad just got off the phone. Evvy never got to Nicaragua.", "(Brad is sitting on the bleachers, Julie is talking to him - acting concerned.)", "BRAD: Where could she be. Sh-she would have called, right?", "(Julie gets up and puts her arm around him)", "JULIE: Oh, honey.", "BRENNAN: It was her, Booth. It was Julie.", "(Cut to: Outside Burtonsville High School. Cop cars are all around and Julie is being led out by Booth, Brennan and Sheriff Conway, in handcuffs)", "JULIE: Brad was mine. It was my turn to have him.", "BOOTH: Beg your pardon.", "JULIE: Evelyn and I made a pact in High School. We got rid of Sarah because she was sleeping with Brad. We had a pact!", "BRENNAN: Evelyn and you killed Sarah?", "JULIE: She was sleeping with Brad! He was ours. Evvy had him first and now it was my turn to have him. She wouldn't give him up. (to Sheriff Conway) Where is Brad, anyway? Someone should tell him that I'm here. He's gonna be worried about me.", "SHERIFF CONWAY: Yeah. Um (she pushes her down into the car) Just get comfy. Watch the hair.", "(Julie looks out the car window for Brad.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hodgins Office. Hodgins is putting away some files when Angela enters.)", "ANGELA: Hey.", "HODGINS: Hey.", "ANGELA: Did, um..did Wendell tell you? (Hodgins gives her a knowing look) Of course he did, you're friends.", "HODGINS: You okay?", "ANGELA: Yeah. Yes, I am. As you know, I have some experience in this area. And, I'd like to know if Wendell's alright?", "HODGINS: Well, he's doing much better than I did after we broke up.", "ANGELA: Well, I don't want to be the kind of person who leaves this string of good-hearted guys behind her, ya know?", "HODGINS: Ange, we broke up. Ya know. You did not dump me and Wendell is find. And I gotta tell ya, I think you left him in - in better shape than you found him.", "ANGELA: I don't know about that. I mean, I'm pretty sure he was born that way.", "HODGINS: Still. He is better for having known you, Angela.", "ANGELA: And how can you be sure?", "HODGINS: Because I've been there.", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers Bar - Night. The whole gang is together, having drinks.)", "SWEETS: Even ten or fifteen years later, you put the same, in the same environments and the exact same interpersonal relationships pick up where they left off.", "BRENNAN: Well, when the wall fell - the majority of KGB Agents kept their positions when the organization turned to other endeavors.", "BOOTH: Are you saying that high school is like the KGB.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "CAM: Clandestine meetings, secret pacts, murder. Sounds like her high school.", "BRENNAN: Well, I tried to change their perception of me by telling them how rich and successful I've become but they still didn't like me.", "SWEETS: Why would you tell them that?", "BOOTH: You know what? She didn't do it right.", "HODGINS: You told her to do that.", "BOOTH: Well, look. It had to be subtle.", "ANGELA: I am so never going to my high school reunion, ever.", "WENDELL: I think it'd be fun to see how everybody turned out.", "HODGINS: Oh, heck, yeah! I'd love to see how Suzanne Dowell turned out. Oh, man. She used to wear these jeans...must have been painted on.", "SWEETS: Stephanie Roberts and her little pink shirt.", "CAM: Dr. Sweets, are you still with us?", "(Cam laughs)", "SWEETS: Sorry.", "BOOTH: Look, they didn't dislike you, Bones, they just didn't understand you. That's a big difference.", "BRENNAN: It didn't bother me. I found the reunion to be quite educational. And you were right. It was good to go back. It made me see how lucky I am. Now. This is what friendship is like; this table. I am very lucky.", "HODGINS: Aww. Cheers!", "(They all clink glasses/bottles)", "EVERYONE: Cheers!", "BRENNAN: Salud!", "(They all continue to talk, laugh and drink.)", "END." ]

[ "When human remains are discovered in the belly of a shark, Brennan and Booth are brought in to identify the missing person. Evidence suggesting the victim had been the prey of several fish directs the team's investigation to The Aquarium of the Atlantic, where a guest lecturer and notorious self-help guru preaching the healing power of the ocean has gone missing. Meanwhile, both Brennan and Booth navigate their own relationship when a marine biologist shows interest in Booth." ]

[ "(Open: Medico Legal Lab. Two Jeffersonian workers are wheeling in a body, followed by Booth, Brennan, Andrew Hacker and Catherine Bryar, a marine biologist)", "DR. CATHERINE BRYAR: On Tuesday morning, a dead Tiger Shark washed up on Rehoboth Beach. Its stomach contained the undigested remains of a human leg.", "BOOTH: Ouch!", "BRENNAN: Wha-what's wrong?", "BOOTH: It's gotta hurt.", "CATHERINE: A seasoned law enforcement agent who still has empathy for a victim. I'm glad to know you're out there.", "BOOTH: At your service.", "HACKER: Dr. Bryar, who is from the National Atmos-Ocean Admiral Association, called us this morning.", "CATHERINE: The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.", "BRENNAN: Andrew was joking; he likes to put people at ease. It's a nice quality.", "(Andrew and Brennan share a smile)", "BOOTH: Well, everybody likes to laugh. (off the leg) Except that guy.", "CATHERINE: Well, the weird thing is - nobody reported a shark attack anywhere along the eastern seaboard.", "HACKER: (to Brennan) Do you think you can make an identification from the leg? (to Bryar) I've seen Temperance ID a victim from a single finger nail clipping.", "BRENNAN: What? I've never done that.", "BOOTH: Well, maybe not that, but ya know, things like that. (to Catherine) She's my partner. I'm sure we could help you out.", "CATHERINE: I'd be greatful.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Sweet.", "(Booth and Catherine have a moment as Hacker and Brennan look on.)", "BOOTH: Yeah, I should go and clear out and I'll let you do your thing.", "(He nearly trips over a table on his way off the platform as he leaves. He looks back, once more, at Cathrine before he heads out the door.)", "HACKER: Well, that was a speedy exit. (to Brennan and Bryar) Shall we?", "(Short time lapse)", "BRENNAN: The victim is likely male. These shallow cuts and deep gouges, in conjunction with location of recovery, are likely indications of C.O.D. We need to count osteons to determine age, but the length of the tibia indicates a height of between 5' and 5'6\"", "HACKER: A short guy got bit by a shark.", "(Catherine nods at Andrew, in agreement, while Brennan continues on.)", "BRENNAN: Now, these look like a six ridge dermal denticles", "CATHERINE: That can't be. A tiger shark doesn't have dermal denticles.", "BRENNAN: Then the victim encountered multiple predators at the same time.", "CATHERINE: That is highly unlikely.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to the bone) Well, this simple, symmetrical break-", "CATHERINE: That's a tiger shark.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to a different cut) This is different. Some kind of small, conical canine-", "CATHERINE: That's red snapper.", "BRENNAN: Then, this serrated bite-", "CATHERINE: Oh, my god. A hammerhead.", "HACKER: What? This sounds good.", "CATHERINE: Hammerheads are tropical. It's unlikely you'd find one this far north.", "BRENNAN: Where is the nearest place a tiger shark, a hammerhead and a red snapper could co-exist.", "HACKER: How about the aquarium? Hey, you don't get to be Deputy Director of the FBI by just dressing well and kissing ass. Okay, yeah. That's most of it, but I'm probably right about the aquarium.", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic. Booth and Brennan are meeting with Marilyn Stoddard)", "BRENNAN: According to NOAA, this facility focuses on marine rescue and preservation. A rehabilitated tiger shark was permanently released into the ocean this Saturday.", "BOOTH: Jaws grabbed a quick snack before heading back out into the wild? Shark attacks are very rare. I mean, look. Sharks - they don't even like to eat people.", "BRENNAN: (surprised) That's true. How do you know that?", "BOOTH: Shark Week. You know, where they do nothing but make you afraid of sharks.", "BRENNAN: Wait. They have a week set aside just for sharks?", "BOOTH: Yeah. It's a TV thing.", "(A big shark swims by, in the tank)", "MARILYN STODDARD: Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Yes. Uh, Dr. Stoddard.", "MARILYN: Marilyn. I work in the Animal Husbandry Department.", "BRENNAN: I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian. Was someone eaten here this weekend?", "MARILYN: No.", "BOOTH: The tiger shark that you released this past Saturday, can you show us where you kept him?", "MARILYN: Yeah. Come-come right this way", "(She turns to lead them through the crowd of visitors in the lobby; she heads for the tank that's in front of them.)", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) Since when do fish have husbands?", "BRENNAN: Animal husbandry is the science of breeding livestock.", "BOOTH: Since when are fish livestock?", "BRENNAN: Well, the term can be applied loosely.", "MARILYN: This is the Tropical Reef Tank, where the tiger shark was kept prior to release. Originally, he required isolation but once he recovered, we placed him in here to see how he would interact with the others.", "BRENNAN: Recovered from what?", "MARILYN: His fin was very nearly severed, probably from a drag net.", "BOOTH: How did he get on with the other fish?", "MARILYN: Just fine, as far as I can tell.", "BRENNAN: You also have a hammerhead?", "MARILYN: Ah, yes. Hiding somewhere. Uh, The tank is over six-hundred thousand gallons. You can only see a portion from this side.", "BOOTH: It's like an ocean itself.", "MARILYN: It is, um, but I'm pretty sure we would see evidence if a human being had been eaten in there.", "BOOTH: Anyone missing?", "MARILYN: Employees, you mean? Or guests? No.", "BRENNAN: How about missing a leg?", "MARILYN: No. I think we would notice something like that.", "BOOTH: Anything unusual?", "MARILYN: The facilities department lost an expensive filter, there was a slight spike in the ammonia level but nothing out of the ordinary here, certinly nothing close to a fatal accident.", "(Behind her, we see a giant grouper opens its mouth and part of a human skull falls out. It sinks to the ground.)", "BOOTH: Okay, now who's gonna go in there to get that?", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic. Upstairs area above the tank. Brennan and Hodgins are suited up in scuba gear.)", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You don't have to go in, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Yes, I do. We need to recover what's left of the victim to have any hope of identification.", "BOOTH: Time out, okay. Have Hodgins do it.", "HODGINS: I look like Richard Dreyfus, don't I? \"We're gonna need a bigger boat!\"", "BRENNAN: No - we don't need a boat. Wh-why are you wearing that hat?", "BOOTH: Keep his brain warm, okay. Make Hodgins go in there and do it.", "BRENNAN: There is nothing to be afraid of, Booth.", "HODGINS: Yeah, you know, sharks - they don't eat people.", "BOOTH: Really? Tell that to the guy who got, ya know, coughed up by a grouper, okay.", "(Ben Marcus approaches them)", "BEN MARCUS: okay, who's going in? (Hodgins, then Brennan raise their hands) You guys know what you're doing, right? It isn't a swim in a fish tank.", "BRENNAN: Isn't that exactly what it is?", "HODGINS: Yeah, a really big, cool one.", "BOOTH: No, no. It's the recovery of a body in an investigation of a potential homicide. Alright? Any questions, you ask me. Understand? Keep your eyes on me.", "BEN: Gotcha.", "(Marilyn comes over with a walkie talkie for Booth.)", "MARILYN: Ready?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I am.", "MARILYN: Okay, Ben here will escort you to the tank. Agent Booth, follow me. You'll be able to communicate with Dr. Brennan on our intercom system.", "BOOTH: I thank you.", "MARILYN: (to Brennan) And good luck to you.", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic. Booth is outside the tank, watching as Hodgins and Brennan are in scuba gear, search the Tropical Reef Tank for additional remains. )", "BOOTH: (into walky talkie) Bones. Bones, you there?", "BRENNAN: We're right here, Booth. This is beautiful. Hodgins, I'll get the skull. You see if there's any other bone particulates.", "(There are sharks and other sea creatures swimming all around them. Brennan reaches for the top part of the skull)", "BRENNAN: I have the anterior aspect of the skull.", "HODGINS: You'd call it a face, Booth.", "BOOTH: Pipe down there, pal.", "(Brennan bags the skull and Hodgins is sifting through the sand on the bottom of the tank. She spots something.)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins. Over here.", "(Booth moves closer to the tank to see what they've found)", "BRENNAN: Look.", "(Behind a rock lies the rest of the skeleton.)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth is about to enter his office when he notices Catherine walking towards him)", "BOOTH: Hi.", "CATHERINE: Hi! I thought I would stop by and see if you've made any progress today.", "BOOTH: Oh, well, yeah. Dr. Brennan, she's still working on the identification.", "CATHERINE: Wow.", "BOOTH: It's what we do.", "CATHERINE: Do you mind if I ask you a question?", "BOOTH: Sure. Come on in. (They walk into his office) It's my office.", "CATHERINE: It's very nice.", "BOOTH: Yeah, huh.", "CATHERINE: Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? Maybe this weekend? Unless, of course, I'm a suspect because I know you can't date me if I'm a suspect, right?", "BOOTH: I - I can't date anyone who's a suspect.", "CATHERINE: I understand.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Right? It's FBI, rules and regulations.", "CATHERINE: Yeah.", "BOOTH: But, um, you know, when we're done with you, um, you know, I can give you call. And uh, you can go out with me or I can go out with you.", "CATHERINE: How 'bout both!", "BOOTH: Hey, hook at that.", "(They both laugh and smile at each other)", "CATHERINE: Well, I'm looking forward to not being a suspect.", "BOOTH: I am, too.", "CATHERINE: Let me know if hear anything more about the identification.", "BOOTH: Yeah, yeah. I will.", "CATHERINE: Alright.", "BOOTH: Bye.", "CATHERINE: Bye.", "(She leaves and he watches her go - tripping over his desk.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Room. Clark is showing his findings to Cam.)", "CLARK: The pelvis verifies the osteon count. He was between the ages of 30 and 34. The fusion of the vertebrae could indicate an injury to the spinal cord.", "CAM: Huh. Anything off the spectroscope?", "CLARK: Yes. The distal tibia from the leg we found originally. It confirms the presence of perimortem bruising.", "CAM: When the shark attacked the victim, he was still alive?", "CLARK: Yes. Take a look right here. I found a cleft fracture of the styloid process.", "CAM: Probably blunt-force to the throat.", "CLARK: And here, several multidirectional grooves along the glabella and the supraorbital ridge.", "CAM: The victim was stabbed in the eye?", "CLARK: Varying degrees of force may suggest that someone tried to stab the victim in the face with a narrow, sharp object.", "CAM: Okay. Well, That makes this an official homicide. The victim was assaulted and then dumped into the tank alive as a means of disposal.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: I think I know when it happened.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. There is coral sitting in a fish tank on a table.)", "HODGINS: Meet deploria labyrinthiformis. Better known as the groovy grooved brain coral native to the Caribbean, Bermuda and Bahamas.", "CAM: Why is it here?", "HODGINS: Coral skeletons accrete tiny crystals of calcium carbonate at night. So for us, this provides a timeline similar to tree rings. Coral can tell us what was in the water and when it got there.", "CAM: If you have a year to wait.", "HODGINS: No. That is the beauty. Because of the rapid nature of the growth, the timeline is condensed.", "CAM: How specific is it?", "HODGINS: Within hours. Now, a spike in ammonia and nitrate levels found within the coral skeleton tells us that something died in that tank on Friday night between midnight and 6:00 a.m. Something big. Like human being big.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner - Day. Booth and Brennan are eating lunch)", "BOOTH: This here are the 28 people we know were at the aquarium, Saturday morning, between the hours of midnight and 6am. Most of them are, uh, employees and security guards.", "BRENNAN: Are all of them still alive?", "(Booth's phone rings)", "BOOTH: I'm - I'm working on that right now. (picking up the phone) Booth.", "HACKER: This NOAA thing is turning into a full fledged investigation.", "(Andrew is walking down a street while talking to Booth)", "BRENNAN: Who is it?", "BOOTH: (mouths) Hacker.", "BRENNAN: Tell Andrew I said Hi.", "BOOTH: (hesistates, then into phone.) Bones says Hello.", "HACKER: Hello. Tell her I'm really looking forward to our date.", "BOOTH: (into phone) Did you two want to speak to each other or is there something that you wanted to tell me, sir?", "HACKER: I called because I got a heads up on your missing person.", "BOOTH: (into phone) Yeah. Okay, wow. Gotcha.", "(He flips the phone closed)", "BRENNAN: What did he say?", "BOOTH: Oh, he's looking forward to our date (after realizing his freudian slip) - your date.", "BRENNAN: So am I. He emailed me and said he had tickets to a play.", "BOOTH: He emailed you? For a play?", "BRENNAN: I believe that 'a play' is Andrew's code for s*x. (Booth looks a bit uncomfortable) Is it okay for us to talk like this?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Well, when he invited me to the play I thought it was code for s*x so I said no.", "BOOTH: Oh.", "BRENNAN: But I said yes to coffee.", "BOOTH: Maybe that's a code.", "BRENNAN: uh, uh. Angela said that coffee isn't a code for anything.", "BOOTH: Well, I have a date too.", "BRENNAN: Good.", "BOOTH: Catherine Bryar.", "BRENNAN: Everyone at the aquarium is a suspect.", "BOOTH: And once she's eliminated as a person of interest...", "BRENNAN: (changing the subject) Why did Andrew call?", "BOOTH: Oh, um. Number 19 on the list, isn't accounted for.", "(Booth hands her the paper and she looks at the list)", "BRENNAN: Jazz Gun?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: What a ludicris name.", "BOOTH: You don't know who that is?", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweets Office. Booth, Brennan and Sweets are watching a video.)", "JAZZ GUNN: (on video) My name is Jazz Gunn and I have a secret to tell you. In the simplest terms, the terrestrial world we live in mirrors the underwater world you see right here. The same rules that govern the sea also govern the sea of life.", "SWEETS: Jazz Gunn is your average and I do mean, \"average,\" self-help guru. His half-baked theory is based on nothing more than the concept of natural selection, but his Sea of Life seminars are packed.", "BRENNAN: The shape of his skull is consistent with that of the victim. I have never heard of him.", "BOOTH: I've heard of him. He spent Friday night getting ready to prepare for this big speech that he was supposed to give this morning at the aquarium, and he never showed up.", "SWEETS: He said that he had a car accident in '93 that left him unable to walk, but after he swam in the sea off the coast of Brazil, he was cured.", "BOOTH: What, like a miracle? Like this power of positive thinking?", "BRENNAN: It's preposterous.", "SWEETS: He swam with sharks. He said that by forcing himself to face his atavistic fears, he gained the strength to fight back. That's the whole theory behind the Sea of Life.", "BOOTH: What - so now this guy - What? He gets paid a hundred bucks a pop to talk about that in front of fish tanks?", "JAZZ GUNN: (on video) Let's begin with life lesson #1: Eat or be eaten. What if your friends and neighbors tried to eat you?", "(Sweets pauses the video)", "SWEETS: Look at this guy. His name is Tad Benedict. Benedict used to be Jazz's assistant, but, uh, now Jazz does it solo. They had a widely publicized falling out.", "BRENNAN: What does he have in his hand?", "SWEETS: Uh, that's a pen.", "BRENNAN: It looks like a metal stylus. The victim was stabbed with a small, sharp object.", "BOOTH: Theodore Benedict. He's on our list of people that were there at the aquarium Friday night.", "SWEETS: Maybe Jazz hired him back.", "BOOTH: Or maybe he just showed up on his own with a chip on his shoulder.", "BRENNAN: And a pointy pointer in his hand.", "BOOTH: Or, like life lesson #1: Eat or be eaten.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is interrogating Tad Benedict.)", "BOOTH: Tad, is it?", "TAD BENEDICT: Yeah. No. I can't believe this happened. Who would want to kill Jazz? People love him.", "BOOTH: Well, the easy answer is \"you.\" You worked for him three years ago?", "TAD: Off and on, starting three years ago, yeah.", "BOOTH: Well, let's forget about the on, all right? Let's just focus on the off. It says you were dismissed after an argument over compensation?", "TAD: I wanted a share of the profits. I felt like I did a lot of work and he made all the money.", "BOOTH: I couldn't think of a clearer motive. You?", "TAD: Come on. Do I look like I could do that?", "BOOTH: No. But, uh, you know, I've seen the video. Jazz is about, what? Five four? And you? The way you were wielding that little crazy pen around of yours that you had, is pretty fierce.", "TAD: You do know that that fight was all over, right? He called me a couple months ago when he oversold a seminar in Santa Fe. He needed help and apologized. I needed the job, so I went back to work.", "BOOTH: Does he pay you?", "TAD: I get a percentage after each seminar, just like I asked. And he took me and my wife to Aspen for Chrtmas. I more than forgave him. You want to know what I think, Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Sure.", "TAD: Jazz loved the sea. He wanted to swim in that big tank at the aquarium. He told me.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. On the screen, there's a feed from the tropical reef tank at the aquarium.)", "BRENNAN: Is this a live feed of the tropical reef tank at the aquarium?", "ANGELA: Yep. With an interactive interface I implemented myself. Check this out. Click on this guy. The program has an index that catalogs anything organic.", "BRENNAN: This is incredible, Angela. May I try?", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: Look what I found in the filter from the aquarium. It's a five-inch piece of tanned putrescible animal raw hide.", "BRENNAN: From a fish?", "HODGINS: From a wallet.", "ANGELA: Well, if you go into a fish tank willingly, you remove your wallet, right?", "HODGINS: Yeah. (noticing the screen) Oh, wow. Oh, you should leave this up. It's beautiful. Peaceful. Pure.", "ANGELA: It's kind of scary, though, right?", "HODGINS: I like scary.", "ANGELA: Yeah, so do I.", "(After a few moments, Brennan looks over towards Angela and Hodgins and notices they're having 'a moment')", "BRENNAN: Clark is trying to determine what sort of weapon the killer may have used when stabbing at the victim's face. Hodgins, please keep me posted about what you find in the filter.", "HODGINS: Uh-huh.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - . Clark is examing remains when Brennan enters the platform.)", "BRENNAN: Did you have time to examine the grooves?", "CLARK: I did.", "BRENNAN: Syringe.", "CLARK: Taking a closer look, I could see some of the deeper grooves had a faint semi-circular ridge near the point of contact. I thought it would be consistent with the hub of a hypodermic needle. In terms of diameter, 14-gauge would be about right.", "BRENNAN: But there are no matching grooves on the styloid process.", "CLARK: No. That injury is simple blunt-force.", "BRENNAN: If the victim was stabbed with a hypodermic needle, something may have been injected.", "CLARK: It's hard to tell with the body being submerged and I can't find the perfect needle to match either.", "BRENNAN: Maybe I can.", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic - Back Room. Marilyn Stoddard is working, Booth and Brennan enter.)", "BRENNAN: Excuse me. We're back.", "MARILYN: I see that. Can I help you with something?", "(Booth laughs)", "BRENNAN: Why is she taking that tone?", "BOOTH: Oh, she just doesn't like being pinned as a murder suspect.", "MARILYN: No. I can deal with that. What I don't like is having every piece of information I give you double-checked. What can I do for you?", "BOOTH: We want to take a look at your hypodermic needles.", "MARILYN: All right. What sort of needles?", "BOOTH: Bones?", "BRENNAN: The 14-gauge with a round hub and a blunted tip.", "BOOTH: Exactly.", "MARILYN: Uh, we don't carry anything like that.", "BOOTH: Okay. Anything similar?", "MARILYN: I realize you need to double-check, so please - go right ahead.", "BOOTH: Also need to know who had access to it on the night the victim died.", "MARILYN: I wasn't back here that night.", "BRENNAN: What's wrong with these angelfish?", "MARILYN: They've been listless the past few days, most likely due to something they ingested.", "BOOTH: Or someone.", "BRENNAN: We should take these fish back to the lab.", "MARILYN: No, you can't. These are a gift from Morocco.", "BRENNAN: They need to be tested for trace evidence in a murder investigation.", "BOOTH: We'll get them back to you. No worry.", "BRENNAN: I may or may not get them back to you.", "(Booth starts to use a net to get the fish out of the tank when..)", "BOOTH: Hey, wait. You just said that you weren't here that night. You already said that you were.", "MARILYN: No. Not in this area. I mean, no one was back here after midnight. I was out in the lobby, helping with the kids.", "BOOTH: Kids? What kids?", "MARILYN: Our education department hosts field trips for local elementary students. I was helping the teacher.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Conference Room. Booth is talking to Grace Redmon.)", "GRACE REDMON: I teach fourth grade. My students are mostly 9 and 10 year olds. We usually do the Natural", "History Museum and I thought we'd try something new. So we tried the aquarium.", "BOOTH: Wow. 36 kids overnight. That's - that's very brave of you.", "GRACE: Well, kids that age, when they fall asleep, they're like little corpses.", "BOOTH: Did you have any help?", "GRACE: Yes. Four mothers and they're the same four mothers who do everything. I can give you their names.", "BOOTH: That'd be great. Thanks. Where did you sleep?", "GRACE: In sleeping bags on the floor in the lobby. The aquarium people left the lights on in the big tank until midnight; It was beautiful.", "BOOTH: I'm just wondering; How is it that so many people can spend the night in front of a tank and not see a man being eaten by sharks?", "GRACE: When they turned the lights off, it was dark. Agent Booth, believe me, if one of those kids had seen anything, they would all know about it by now.", "BOOTH: Why?", "GRACE: First of all, they're blabbermouths. And second, they were all issued these disposable cameras. And they take pictures of everything.", "BOOTH: Everything?", "GRACE: Everything.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. The hallway is filled with kids and Booth & Sweets are sitting behind a table in the Conference Room. They're taking the cameras from the students, in hopes that one of them caught something on film.)", "BOOTH: Just tell me if any of these kids is a killer.", "SWEETS: Well, no, it's pretty tough to tell your average 9 year old from your average psychopath.", "BOOTH: Don't say that, all right? I have a kid nearly that age.", "SWEETS: Children are still forming their sense of ethics at this age. Like I said, they're basically sociopaths. It's true.", "TEACHER: (O.S.) Kids, kids, don't touch the TV. Get back in line.", "SWEETS: Hey. (she hands him her camera) Ah, thanks, Lucy. Your photos will be returned after they're developed and perused for the investigation.", "LUCY: What about the contest?", "BOOTH: We told the kids it was a photo contest.", "SWEETS: Oh, that's good. To spare them the trauma of the murder. Good idea.", "LUCY: Murder?", "SWEETS: No, no. No, no, no, no.", "BOOTH: No, no, photo contest. First prize: amusement park.", "SWEETS: No one said \"murder.\"", "BOOTH: First place goes to an amusement park. (motioning for Lucy to go) Go ahead.", "BOOTH: Oh, I saved you.", "SWEETS: I know.", "BOOTH: You'll thank me for saving you later. (motioning for the next kid) Next.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan and Angela are looking through the pictures.)", "ANGELA: So I'm looking for evidencene of shark attack and murder while simultaneously judging a photo contest.", "BRENNAN: You possess the necessary overlapping skills.", "ANGELA: Well, between 36 disposables and 10 cell phone cameras, we've got quite a selection here. (she stops on a picture of a little boy with food hanging out of his mouth) Ew.", "BRENNAN: So, you said that \"coffee\" isn't code for anything, right?", "ANGELA: Sweetie, I think you need to stop worrying about s*x codes. Hacker is a very up-front guy, who is also extremely politically savvy. Talk about strange overlapping skills, huh?", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "ANGELA: Hacker is very sophisticated in his job, but he's much more transparent in his personal life. Does that sound like anybody you know?", "BRENNAN: Me? So you mean we're compatible?", "ANGELA: Well, you know who I think you belong with.", "BRENNAN: I don't belong with anyone, Angela. Do you?", "ANGELA: Well, I'm grappling with those same issues. So, yes, go have coffee with Hacker. And if it goes well, then maybe you guys can graduate to lunch.", "BRENNAN: Wh-What should I wear?", "ANGELA: Clothing.", "BRENNAN: (pointing to a picture) Look at this.", "ANGELA: Let me see that one. Let me see if I can, uh, scan this. (she scans the picture and it shows up on the big screen) Well, it's definitely a person.", "BRENNAN: That's not our victim. The proportions are wrong. But no one was supposed to be back there.", "ANGELA: At 2:38 a.m.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins said that the victim died in the tank between midnight and 6:00 a.m.", "ANGELA: So this could definitely be our killer.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Clark enters while Hodgins is blending something in a blender)", "CLARK: Oh. That is the most unpleasant smell.", "HODGINS: Angelfish smoothie?", "CLARK: Man, you killed the Moroccan angelfish?", "HODGINS: No. No, I did not. They died on their own. Only afterwards did I puree them.", "ClARK: Oh, I really hope you can prove that. Those aquarium people love their fish.", "HODGINS: Don't worry. The angelfish died from a generic organic protein-based neurotoxin that's found in lots of different yummy places - like the flagellum of bacteria.", "CLARK: What, did they absorb it through their gills?", "HODGINS: I think they ingested it.", "CLARK: By snacking on our victim?", "HODGINS: No. This neurotoxin's not strong enough to kill a fully grown human male.", "CLARK: Wait a minute. What if it was injected through his eye? You know, more than once.", "HODGINS: Well, it'd be disorienting - as would any injection into the eye.", "CLARK: Perhaps Dr. Saroyan can find traces in what's left of the body. Thank you.", "(He starts to head out)", "HODGINS: Oh, hey, Clark.", "CLARK: Yeah.", "HODGINS: Feel I should warn you. Angela and Wendell; they broke up.", "CLARK: Uh, I'm sorry. What's that got to do with me?", "HODGINS: She may be on the market for a new intern.", "CLARK: Okay, okay, okay. Listen. I'm gonna - I'm gonna break my cardinal rule for you and offer some good advice. Don't do that.", "HODGINS: Do what?", "CLARK: Channel your own frustrations into snide allusions.", "HODGINS: Oh. Snide is a strong word. Um... I, uh, I found this for you. It was in the vacuum.", "CLARK: Looks like an enterolith. In cats, you would call it a hairball. Though, in this, I see some bone fragments within its composition.", "HODGINS: Well, take it. It's all yours.", "CLARK: Thanks.", "HODGINS: Clark.", "CLARK: What is it now, Dr. Hodgins?", "HODGINS: Thank you for breaking your cardinal rule. I'll, uh, I'll take what you said under advisement.", "CLARK: Good. Just know that I really don't need to know the outcome.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan, Angela and Cam are looking at the large screen.)", "CAM: Why can't you just lighten up the guy's face and, you know, zoom in?", "ANGELA: Because it was a cell phone camera that was aimed by a child.", "BRENNAN: The Plexiglas at this point is a foot thick.", "ANGELA: And 30 feet of water.", "BRENNAN: At night.", "CAM: I was just asking.", "ANGELA: Okay, so I used some warping software to reverse the direction of the distortion that was caused by the waves on the surface of the water. Then I lit it up. But this is the best that I can do.", "CAM: Okay. Well, we'll print that up and get it to Booth.", "BRENNAN: I know this man.", "ANGELA: You do?", "BRENNAN: Yes, his name is Ben. I saw him working at the aquarium.", "CAM: Are you sure?", "BRENNAN: Absolutely.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is interrogating Ben Marcus.)", "BOOTH: So why didn't you clock in, Ben?", "BEN: Probably 'cause I wasn't working.", "BOOTH: Really? Okay. There you go. You see? And on top of it, we have photographic evidence that shows that you were.", "BEN: Oh. Right. That night.", "BOOTH: Right, that night. Just a routine night at the aquarium. Man gets murdered and then he gets fed to the sharks.", "BEN: I wasn't supposed to work that night but I switched shifts. I didn't clock in using my own card. That happens.", "BOOTH: Doesn't matter. Fact is, you were there. So let's start this all over again, shall we, okay? There's a check made out to you. Ben Marcus - that's you, right? - for $10,000, deposited the day after the murder.", "BEN: I can explain that.", "BOOTH: Signed by one Dimitri Vladov.", "BEN: Oh, man. Okay. This looks bad 'cause he's a big Russian mobster type.", "BOOTH: Hello! Of course it looks bad. It's made out to you for $10,000. For what?", "BEN: It's not what you think, but if I tell you - Vladov will kill me. Okay, I want a lawyer. I'm not saying anything else.", "BOOTH: I'll just go ask Vlad.", "BEN: Do you think you could leave my name out of it? No?", "BOOTH: No.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Hacker and Booth are walking down the hall.)", "HACKER: Dimitri Vladov?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "HACKER: Vladov the Impaler paid for a hit with a check?", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, I mean, why would Vladov hire an amateur?", "HACKER: And pay by check? That's not a good sign for law enforcement. That's not a good sign for culture as a whole. You know what we ought to do? Pool our money together, buy a buffalo ranch in Alberta.", "BOOTH: Wha-wh - sir, sir, why do I feel like you're stalling so I don't talk to this guy?", "HACKER: I am stalling, yes.", "BOOTH: Why?", "HACKER: Why go out on a limb when you know it's gonna break? Vladov's under surveillance by about five federal agencies and nothing ever happens.", "BOOTH: How's he get away with it?", "HACKER: What's the Russian word for \"Teflon\"?", "BOOTH: I don't know, Teflofistan?", "HACKER: Vladov has been brought up on 50 charges - everything from homicide, RICO, prostitution - they've been smuggling counterfeit vodka for years. He has a brilliant trick to keep himself out of prison.", "BOOTH: What's that?", "HACKER: He denies doing it. It's gotten to the point, when he denies something, it's his way of saying yes.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, I'm not afraid to bring this guy in.", "HACKER: You should be. You value your pension, you should be.", "BOOTH: Okay, well, I'm not, even when you sound like Yoda.", "HACKER: You want me with you when you talk to him?", "BOOTH: Why?", "HACKER: Vladov the Impaler; the nickname is self-explanatory.", "BOOTH: Nah, I can handle it.", "HACKER: Good. But I truly hope that you don't end up getting eaten by sharks because your successes have done wonders for my career.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. Hodgins is examining the filter from the aquarium)", "HODGINS: This looks like your friendly neighborhood gill raker.", "BRENNAN: What's that?", "HODGINS: That? That would be your friendly neighborhood gum wrapper.", "(Brennan's phone rings)", "BRENNAN: It's Booth. (she puts the phone on speaker) Hello, Booth.", "(Booth is in the car, driving.)", "BOOTH: (on phone) Yeah, Bones, listen, you got to help me. I got a hot lead and a funny feeling.", "BRENNAN: I-I don't understand the juxtaposition.", "BOOTH: All right, listen, I just need a really strong, really compelling piece of evidence.", "BRENNAN: Usually, all you say you need is your gun and your wits.", "BOOTH: Well, you know, I've come to depend on your wits, too.", "BRENNAN: What kind of proof do you need?", "BOOTH: Look, I need something that links a Russian mobster to a self-improvement guru who gives speeches in front of fish tanks.", "BRENNAN: I'm currently witless.", "HODGINS: This is the Russian mobster who smuggles booze?", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, that's the nicest thing he does.", "(Hodgins pours some water in a beaker)", "BOOTH: (on phone) Hello? Is somebody doing something there?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins is doing a demonstration in his beaker.", "HODGINS: It's a fact that Russian \"businessmen\" add blue dye (he adds blue dye to the water) to tankers of clear alcohol and import it as glass cleaner, thus avoiding the high tariff on booze. Now, once it gets to the States, they need to remove the dye so that they can bottle the booze as vodka. Only way to do that (he pours the blue liquid onto the filter) is from a reverse osmosis filter.", "BOOTH: Okay, know what? I got \"filter\" out of that.", "(The liquid comes out of the bottom of the filter, clear.)", "BRENNAN: Marilyn at the aquarium told us that they're missing a filter.", "BOOTH: (on phone) The mob can't go buy a filter?", "HODGINS: No, this one is special. It's really huge and extra good. See?", "BOOTH: (on phone) No, I don't see. I'm in another place. I'm driving a car.", "BRENNAN: Well, if you were here, you'd be very impressed.", "BOOTH: (on phone) I get it: our victim witnesses a filter theft and gets killed for it.", "HODGINS: Hit him with the filter, Booth. That's your connection.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins means metaphorically, Booth. If you hit a Russian mobster with an actual filter, he'd probably just impale you.", "BOOTH: All right, well, that's great. Thanks for the tip.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth is talking with Dimitri Vladov.)", "BOOTH: Mr. Vladov, could you, uh, please describe your line of work?", "DIMITRI VLADOV: For the purposes of this conversation, importing and exporting. Mostly glass cleaner.", "BOOTH: Is that 80 proof?", "VLADOV: Agent Booth, you know what you know, fine, but what we are talking about here is different. How about you tell me what it is you think I did. Then I tell you I did not do this thing. Then we part ways amicably.", "BOOTH: You know a motivational speaker by the name of Jazz Gunn?", "VLADOV: No. That's a silly name.", "BOOTH: How about Ben Marcus? Works at the Aquarium of the Atlantic.", "VLADOV: I even more vehemently deny knowing this person.", "BOOTH: Did you hire Ben Marcus to steal a filter from the giant tank?", "VLADOV: I deny this categorically.", "BOOTH: (he holds up a check in an evidence bag) That your check? That's your name. Right there - Dimitri Vladov. And that's your signature right there. Check was written out to a man who was photographed at the scene of a murder. He cashed it the next day.", "VLADOV: No, that is not my check.", "BOOTH: Yes, it is. It's your check.", "VLADOV: No, it is not.", "BOOTH: You know, it's illegal to provide false information that may impede a federal investigation.", "VLADOV: I'm not aware of this, no.", "BOOTH: Well, you're aware of it now 'cause I'm telling you.", "VLADOV: Am I under arrest?", "BOOTH: I don't know. Are you?", "VLADOV: I like you, Agent Booth. And I've told you everything I know on this issue. You now owe me a favor.", "BOOTH: I owe you a favor? (he starts to laugh) I don't owe you anything.", "VLADOV: Yes, you do.", "(Vladov starts to laugh as well.)", "BOOTH: (stops laughing) No, I don't.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan is walking down the hall when Hodgins intercepts her, carrying a tray.)", "HODGINS: May I interest you in our final selections from the filter? Dorsal fin from a foxface rabbitfish. I believe this is some sort of sea turtle feces, a rusty paper clip and the broken spine of a lionfish. And that's all she wrote.", "(Clark joins them)", "CLARK: Throw in the embryonic cells of a blue shark and the remains of a human vertebra.", "BRENNAN: Embryonic cells.", "(Brennan grabs Clarks tray and rushes off. After a beat, Hodgins and Clark follow after her.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan rushes in with the tray.)", "BRENNAN: I need to see your virtual aquarium.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Sure.", "(She turns on the aquarium)", "BRENNAN: Is there a blue shark in this tank?", "ANGELA: I don't think so. (she scans the tank) No. No blue shark.", "HODGINS: Well, that's not possible. How would those embryonic cells get into the tank? I mean, it's a closed system.", "BRENNAN: They weren't in the tank. They were in the victim. The embryonic cells of a blue shark can be injected between the vertebrae to form an infrastructure matrix that facilitates neural transmission. It restores the spinal cord. It was progressive surgery that restored Jazz Gunn's ability to walk. It had nothing to do with his ridiculous theory.", "ANGELA: What a little liar.", "BRENNAN: Well, I have to tell Booth there's a scientific explanation for this.", "HODGINS: Dr. Brennan. You know what else is missing from this tank? Lionfish.", "CLARK: Looks like a 14-gauge.", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic. Booth and Brennan are with Marily, upstairs near the entrance of the tank)", "BRENNAN: Jazz Gunn was a liar. He wasn't cured by swimming in Brazil. He underwent experimental surgery.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, think of all the people he misled. That's motive for murder right there.", "MARILYN: Is this what you're looking for?", "(The arrive at the tank with the Lion fish in it)", "BRENNAN: The edge of this tank is damaged.", "MARILYN: It still holds water. We're on a tight budget around here.", "BRENNAN: This explains the cleft fracture on the victim's styloid process.", "BOOTH: Wh- you lost me, Bones.", "BRENNAN: The lionfish protects itself with venomous spines containing the same neurotoxin that stunned our victim prior to his death.", "BOOTH: So no hypodermic needle?", "BRENNAN: No. There were several spines from one venomous fish all coming into contact with the victim's face at the same time.", "BOOTH: So this fish stabbed him in the eye?", "BRENNAN: That is consistent with the wounds, yes.", "BOOTH: This the only lionfish you have here?", "MARILYN: That's it. Pterois antennata. I call him Bob.", "BOOTH: Bob.", "(Booth laughs at that.)", "BRENNAN: Bob is our murder weapon.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Cam, Angela, Brennan and Clark are in one of the halls, standing around a fish tank.)", "BRENNAN: The victim and the killer gained access to the back area of the aquarium before the door was locked. Jazz saw the lionfish in quarantine. (tapping the fish tank) This represents the quarantine tank. Clark. (Clark goes next to Brennan) Jazz was all about facing his fears. He saw one of the world's most venomous fish and was taking a look at it from above the surface of the water, when someone forcibly pushed (she pushes Clarks head into the tank) his head down into the tank, causing a cleft fracture of the styloid process. (she lets him up)", "CLARK: We used to do that in junior high, but we used a toilet.", "ANGELA: This man died of a lionfish swirly?", "CLARK: Yeah. Now several of the venomous spines penetrated the eye area. A few broke and remained embedded. Now with the victim disoriented and possibly unconscious, it was very easy to drag him off to the big tank nearby.", "CAM: Unconscious underwater, he was dead with his first breath. And those fish tore him apart. That's where this poor nut case's theory actually holds true: eat or be eaten.", "(Cut to: Booth's Car - Day. Booth and Brennan are driving.)", "BOOTH: Jazz Gunn flew to Brazil every six months. He had his surgery at a special clinic in a small town called Itamarca.", "BRENNAN: That would be consistent with the maintenance injections required semiannually. Although Itamarca, Brazil is a long way to go to get them.", "BOOTH: Well, you know, he's got to keep up the front. Tell everyone he's going for another swim in the sea, right? But guess who else paid a visit to Itamarca this year?", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth and Brennan are interrogating Grace Redmon)", "BOOTH: So Brazil's a pretty expensive vacation for a schoolteacher.", "GRACE: I love to travel.", "BOOTH: To the very same beach where Jazz Gunn claimed to have been healed by the sea?", "BRENNAN: How many of his seminars did you attend? (Grace says nothing.) The FBI will find out.", "BOOTH: You said you didn't know who Jazz Gunn was.", "GRACE: I went to nine of his seminars. I have fibromyalgia and that b*st*rd convinced me that if I just faced my fears, that magically all of this pain would just disappear. He lied.", "BOOTH: So you brought a group of fourth graders along as an alibi for murder?", "GRACE: No, it was a coincidence. He took me back to see this poisonous fish. \"Come face your fears,\" he said. Last thing he should have said to me right then. I'll tell you what, though. He might have been on to something, that b*st*rd. Because ever since I shoved his lying face into that poisonous fish, I haven't felt any pain.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth and Brennan are walking toward the elevator)", "BRENNAN: I'm going to have coffee with Andrew.", "BOOTH: Alright. Have a good time.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "BOOTH: I'm going to see someone too.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Catherine Bryar.", "BOOTH: The case is closed.", "BRENNAN: She's very nice. The two of you seem compatible.", "BOOTH: Maybe, we'll see.", "BRENNAN: She's easily as pretty as I am. I mean, using me as a standard.", "BOOTH: Bones, you are the standard.", "BRENNAN: Andrew is not as handsome as you - using you as a standard. He is, however, taller. Catherine isn't as smart as I am.", "BOOTH: I'm not as smart as Hacker.", "BRENNAN: But you once said he was a doofus.", "BOOTH: He is a doofus; a smart doofus.", "BRENNAN: (heading into the elevator) Well, I hope you have a good time together.", "BOOTH: Yeah, you too.", "BRENNAN: Thanks.", "(They smile at each other and the door closes. Booth heads back toward the office.)", "(Cut to: Street - Day. Brennan is crossing the street to meet Andrew at the Royal Diner. Andrew is seated, inside, waiting for her.)", "BRENNAN: I'm not late, am I?", "HACKER: Nope.", "BRENNAN: We were catching a murderer.", "HACKER: I heard. Catching a murderer is the best excuse for being late I've ever heard.", "BRENNAN: You - you said I wasn't late.", "HACKER: I was putting you at ease. It's one of my strengths. That and I can write long hand, perfectly, in the dark.", "(Brennan laughs. He leans across the table and kisses her on the cheek. They both sit.)", "HACKER: Congratulations on solving the murder.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Now Booth can have s*x with Dr. Bryar. Because she was involved with the investigation and the FBI does not allow socialization with suspects or consultants and for a while, she was both. (having a realization) Oh, my god. Andrew, are you allowed to see me socially?", "HACKER: Absolutely. I got clearance.", "BRENNAN: From whom?", "HACKER: From myself. (Brennan laughs) In fact, I not only granted permission, I insisted that I see you socially.", "BRENNAN: That's funny because you're satirizing bureaucratic rules by adhering to the letter of the regulations instead of the spirit of it.", "(They both laugh)", "HACKER: You've got a great laugh. You do. It's a Rat Pack laugh.", "BRENNAN: I- I don't know what that means.", "HACKER: You don't know about the Rat Pack? (she shakes her head, no) That's awesome.", "BRENNAN: I - I - why? The Rat Pack does not sound like a good thing.", "HACKER: Because you will not be able to resist the man who showed you that the Rat Pack is a good thing.", "BRENNAN: (beaming) Okay.", "(Cut to: Aquarium of the Atlantic. Booth is standing in front of a large tank with Catherine.)", "CATHERINE: Tell me the truth. Did you think, even for a second, that I might be the murderer.", "BOOTH: No. I may not know who did commit the murder, but I definitely know who didn't. Yeah, yeah. I know. You're a scientist, so that whole intuition thing is just a load of crap, right?", "CATHERINE: I have an intuition about you.", "BOOTH: (smiling) Really.", "CATHERINE: Mhm. (he laughs) It tells me that you could use some company.", "BOOTH: Oh. I could use some company. Really?", "CATHERINE: I make you laugh. You make me laugh.", "BOOTH: You're gonna make me laugh.", "CATHERINE: Do you think these diamond earrings are real?", "BOOTH: I don't know.", "CATHERINE: I could tell that they were real the minute my ex gave them to me.", "BOOTH: How so?", "CATHERINE: Because no one would buy fake diamonds this small. (Booth laughs.) So, give me a call if you want to have dinner sometime.", "(Catherine starts to walk away)", "BOOTH: Hey, Catherine. (she stops and turns toward him) Wanna have dinner sometime?", "CATHERINE: Sure.", "(She leaves and Booth smiles)", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers - Night. Booth and Brennan are having drinks.)", "BRENNAN: Angela and Hodgins find the fish tank to be very romantic.", "BOOTH: Mystery of the deep. The great unknown.", "BRENNAN: It's a body of enclosed water filled with aquatic, ectothermic vertebrates. Not unknown at all but pretty. Maybe that's what they like.", "BOOTH: Yeah. That's probably what it is. I bet that's what it is. So, your date. Um, how was that?", "BRENNAN: Oh, quite enjoyable. Andrew is charming and very funny.", "BOOTH: I can see; you're still smiling.", "BRENNAN: What about you and Catherine? Did you have a good time?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Yeah. We laughed. A lot. It felt good. I'm gonna see her again.", "BRENNAN: Excellent. You deserve a good woman, Booth.", "BOOTH: So do you, Bones. I mean, not a women but you know what I meant.", "BRENNAN: I know. So, um, what did you laugh about?", "BOOTH: Just...something about her earrings.", "BRENNAN: She wore amusing earrings.", "BOOTH: No. She said that they were a gift and she knew they were real because no one would buy fake diamonds that small.", "BRENNAN: They might - if they were on a tight budget.", "BOOTH: Oh, no, no. It's um - it doesn't matter. You had to be there.", "BRENNAN: Andrew is going to introduce me to a rat pack. He was very excited about it. They must be extraordinary rodents.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Talented too.", "BRENNAN: Do you know them?", "BOOTH: mmhm.", "(They continue to talk and drink their beers as the scene fades to black)", "END." ]

[ "When the body of a rich adventure-seeker is found in a hotel laundry machine, Booth and Brennan are led to the last place he was seen: a Rock 'n Roll Fantasy Camp. While Brennan and Booth lead the investigation outside the lab, Hodgins, Angela and intern Arastoo use a fragment of prehistoric wooly mammoth tusk - found with the remains - and Angela's knowledge of the music industry to connect the evidence to potential suspects. Meanwhile, Cam looks for a doctor for her daughter Michelle." ]

[ "(Open: Hotel - Laundry Area. There are gigantic washing machines and dryers all around. Workers are doing laundry. A man is walking around the floor with a woman.)", "HOTEL MANAGER: They put me in charge of all of this. I'm like one of those big shots on Wall Street only I deal with laundry, instead of money.", "WOMAN: Wow.", "HOTEL MANAGER: Not many people know it, but this is the nerve center of the entire hotel.", "WOMAN: Well, I would have thought it would be room service.", "HOTEL MANAGER: No way! Proper washing, at this volume, depends on water quality, bleach concentration, time and of course agitation and heat.", "WOMAN: Agitation and heat, yeah, I definitely got that. We're gonna be late for dinner.", "HOTEL MANAGER: I'll push our reservations. Check this baby out. (They stop in front of a large washing machine) Energy plus. That means, not am I only washing away the filth and the fluids that people get on your hotel sheets; I'm also the front line on the fight against global warming.", "(She hears a noise)", "WOMAN: What was that?", "HOTEL MANAGER: Foreign object in the wash barrel. It happens.", "WOMAN: It looks gooey. Won't it gum up your machine?", "HOTEL MANAGER: Whatever it is, this baby can handle it.", "(The woman leans in closer and sees a human skull and screams)", "(Cut to: Hotel - Laundry Area. Hours later. Booth and Brennan arrive and are going to meet Cam at the washing machine.)", "BOOTH: So, the only way the body could have gotten down here is if someone threw it down the laundry shoot.", "BRENNAN: That would seem to suggest homicide.", "BOOTH: Yes it would.", "(Booth rubs his hand down his tie - Brennan notices.)", "BRENNAN: Is that a new tie?", "BOOTH: Yeah, yeah. Yes, it is. You like it?", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm not sure why you'd want to wear frolicking cetaceans around your neck.", "BOOTH: Well, 'cause Catherine got it for me. Look, they're dolphins!", "BRENNAN: The marine biologist?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Yeah, it was a present.", "BRENNAN: Interesting.", "BOOTH: Wh-what do you mean, \"Interesting\"?", "(They arrive at the washer)", "CAM: Check this out. Good luck on the I.D. Too bad they didn't do it on the delicate cycle, huh?", "BRENNAN: Well, obviously the manufacturers didn't anticipate human remains.", "BOOTH: Well, according to the laundry guy, the body could have been sitting in a pile of dirty sheets for 2 days before it got thrown into the wash.", "CAM: Well, the heat in here would have sped up decomp. (She exhales) Look out, I'm going in.", "(Cam climbs into the washer as Brennan starts to examine the skeleton.)", "BRENNAN: Judging by the concavity of the rib end, the victim was middle age. Dismemberment occurred post-mortem; most likely during the spin cycle.", "BOOTH: Hey, what's so interesting about my tie.", "BRENNAN: Well, a gift is a social contract - a basic anthropological construct. By giving you a tie, Catherine has entered into a social contract with you.", "BOOTH: Really?", "(Brennan nods.)", "CAM: Fabric softeners permeated the soft tissue. Everything's swollen. Speaking of social contracts, do you like your gynecologist?", "BRENNAN: She's extremely competent, yes, but I don't think she's accepting new patients. I thought you were happy with Dr. Oxenburg?", "BOOTH: Alright, can you two just save the lady part discussion for when I'm not here?", "CAM: Dr. Oxenburg moved to California and I am looking for a doctor for Michelle. She's at that age, ya know?", "BOOTH: No. No, no. No. We're not going to be discussing your daughter's s*x life. Because A, she's a good girl; she doesn't have s*x and B, you're touching a dead body.", "BRENNAN: I don't follow your logic.", "CAM: I'm always touching a dead body, Seeley. If I let that be a variant of conversation, I wouldn't-", "(She's cut off by some of the remains falling from the washer and hitting her arm and rolls over and stops in front of Booth.)", "BOOTH: Oh, oh, ho. Okay. Can someone just please remove the eyeball.", "CAM: (walking over) Ooh. This is not an eyeball. (she picks it up and holds it out in front of her)", "BOOTH: What is it?", "CAM: I'll put it this way, our victim was male.", "BRENNAN: (smiling) Would you rather us go back to talking about lady parts?", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan, Arastoo and Hodgins are examining the skeleton)", "BRENNAN: The skeleton appears to have suffered a great deal of damage in the washer.", "HODGINS: Well, that wins the understatement award for today.", "BRENNAN: It's going to be very difficult to find cause of death.", "HODGINS: Well, if the 3lbs of muck I got here in the catch is any indication, then that washing machine must have been a beast.", "ARASTOO: Dr. Brennan, I found something. Right here, the junction of the maxilla and palatine.", "HODGINS: Bullet wound? He was shot?", "ARASTOO: It was a result of surgery, not a gunshot. Most likely from oral cancer.", "BRENNAN: There's also bone degeneration on the mandible. Our victim was probably a cigar smoker. Anything else?", "HODGINS: Condom! Unused. Never mind.", "ARASTOO: I also found a number of fully remodeled fractures. Here's one on the right hamate bone.", "BRENNAN: It's approximately 3 years old.", "ARASTOO: An injury like this is mostly typical for professional baseball players. The great Tony Peña suffered a similar fracture..", "HODGINS: 0 for 11 as a utility infielder before being traded to the Royals.", "ARASTOO: To the White Sox, after a successful surgery to repair his hamate.", "HODGINS: Oh, and are all American Muslim drives in a run! Nice one, Arastoo!", "ARASTOO: Thank you.", "(Brennan clears her throat as a hint to get back to work.)", "ARASTOO: Uh, I through our victim played baseball but then I saw this. A number of mostly repaired impression fractures in the tibia and tarsus.", "BRENNAN: An injury pattern most commonly sustained by rock climbers. And these fractures occurred about a year after the hamate fracture.", "ARASTOO: And here's where I go for the triple because...another remodeled fracture. About a year old and to the hyoid.", "BRENNAN: With an accompanying micro-fracture on the parietal, almost certainly indicating our victim was involved in a high speed collison while wearing a helmet. What does this mean?", "HODGINS: Rock climbing, baseball playing, crash test dummy?", "(Cam enters.)", "CAM: Is there a testicle up here?", "HODGINS: Four that I know of...", "BRENNAN: I thought you located them at the scene?", "CAM: Just the one that scared Booth. I've cataloged the loose tissue and all the victims organs and glands are accounted for but the other testicle seems to have vanished.", "BRENNAN: Well, it's not here but it does appear our victim was in the habit of injuring himself, annually, in a variety of risky behaviors.", "CAM: So the guy with one gonad actually had balls.", "(Hodgins starts laughing, Brennan doesn't laugh)", "CAM: Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got an appointment.", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth, Brennan and Sweets are seated at the counter.)", "BOOTH: So you're telling me I should be looking for a cigar smoking, thrill seeker missing one of the family jewels.", "BRENNAN: That's correct.", "SWEETS: You know, stereotypical male behavior, such as cigar smoking and risk taking, could be a form of overcompensation for a man who was born with only one testicle. I could write up a profile.", "BRENNAN: There's no reason too, Sweets. born without one. He could just have easily of lost it in one of his dangerous pursuits. If a testicle is severely twisted or degloved, it almost always necessitates removal. In the case of penetrating trauma..", "BOOTH: No. No. Just- do you think we can go 20 minutes on this case without talking about testicles?", "SWEETS: Please.", "BRENNAN: Okay. (she pauses) Booth has made a social contract with the marine biologist.", "SWEETS: Sorry?", "BOOTH: (laughing) It's amazing - you go from injured testicles to the woman I'm dating. And you? You're supposed to say \"That's interesting.\" in a very annoying way.", "BRENNAN: It was a logical transition.", "SWEETS: But it is very interesting.", "BRENNAN: Booth and I are friends. Catherine is an intelligent, attractive woman and I'm intrigued by their developing relationship.", "BOOTH: That's nice...I think.", "SWEETS: Yeah. I think it is nice.", "BOOTH: Thank you, Bones.", "SWEETS: Wow. You two seem to be handling dating very well. I'm impressed.", "BRENNAN: Well, you've known me for 2 years, Sweets. You should expect to be impressed by me.", "(Cut to: The Medical Plaza. Dr. Paul Lidner's Office. Cam is sitting with a file folder on her lap.)", "CAM: You were board certified in '99?", "DR. LIDNER: That is correct.", "CAM: And you did a fellowship at Vanderbilt in -", "DR. LIDNER: Reproductive Endocrinology. Boy, you really did your research.", "CAM: You were recommended by Dr. Oxenburg but I wanted to make sure this is the right fit.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, yeah. Oh, of course.", "CAM: Do you consider yourself easy to talk to? Especially about delicate topics - like, someone's first time having s*x.", "DR. LIDNER: Um, their first time with a new partner?", "CAM: No. No. Their first time. Like in losing virginity.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh. Well, uh, yes. Of course. I-I'd be, uh, very sensitive with that topic. Um, especially if the delay in sexual maturity was due to some sort of trauma or negative conditioning.", "CAM: Trauma? Oh, my god. Why would you bring up trauma.", "DR. LIDNER: Well, when an adult woman, such as yourself, forgoes sexual activity, there are often deeper issues at play. (Cam starts to laugh) What?", "CAM: There's been a misunderstanding here. I'm looking for a gynecologist for my daughter, who's 16.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, great. I mean, yeah. That just makes more sense. Um, I deal with a lot of teenagers and uh, they feel very comfortable with me because they know they're free to speak about anything and it will remain confidential.", "CAM: Excellent. Well, obviously, you're respectful and highly qualified. I think this will work.", "DR. LIDNER: I'm glad. You and your husband can feel confident that I will treat your daughter with the utmost care and consideration.", "CAM: (reaching out her hand) Thank you. (she turns to leave, but then turns back) Acutally, I uh, don't have a husband. Michelle's my adoptive daughter.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, I see.", "CAM: So, thank you, Dr. Lidner.", "DR. LIDNER: Uh, Paul. Please. Just call me Paul.", "CAM: Paul.", "(She nods and leaves.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookay Room. Cam enters)", "CAM: You have something for me?", "HODGINS: Yup. The fingernails.", "CAM: I don't think they're gonna help with the I.D.", "HODGINS: I also have clothing remnants, mostly denim. A chain, also mostly likely part of the victims apparel. Some pieces of molded silicone elastomer..", "CAM: (picking up the petri dish) The missing testicle.", "HODGINS: Oh, god.", "CAM: It's a prosthetic one. They're made of a silicone shell and filled with saline. Now, obviously, this has suffered a lot of damage in the wash, but if we can get a serial number off this? We can get an I.D.", "(Hodgins makes a face. He is not thrilled about the fake testicle)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela has the silicone pieces on the big screen.)", "ANGELA: Okay. I photographed each piece of the silicone elastomer and I used the photos to reassemble a virtual prosthetic.", "CAM: Well, the serial numbers were pretty warn from the washing machine.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Well, hopefully by looking at the image under different color filters we can at least get some of the digits. You know, I have to say. This whole \"finding I.D. by testicle\" definitely beats facial reconstructions.", "CAM: Does that prosthetic seem overly large to you?", "ANGELA: Well, it isn't' to scale, Cam.", "CAM: Guess it's been a while.", "ANGELA: Okay, I got the serial number for you.", "CAM: I'll get it to Booth.", "(Cam leaves)", "ANGELA: (looking at the screen) It's pretty big.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office. Booth and Brennan are looking at a folder.)", "BOOTH: Richard Cole. 42. Single. Commercial Real Estate Developer. Left his entire fortune to the American Cancer Society. So that rules out, uh, financial motive.", "BRENNAN: Researchers can be ruthless.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Look at this. This article a cigar connoisseur.", "BRENNAN: He had oral cancer, he shouldn't have smoked.", "BOOTH: That is not his biggest problem right now. He talks about going to fantasy camps every year for his birthday.", "BRENNAN: Fantasy camps?", "BOOTH: They're expensive camps where grown-ups get to pretend to be, you know, race car drivers, uh, professional ball players - pretty much anything.", "BRENNAN: That would explain the yearly injuries. You could easily crush a testicle at a rodeo camp.", "BOOTH: Look what's going on this week at the hotel. God, I wish I had enough money for this one.", "BRENNAN: Why? What is it?", "(Booth plays a video)", "SIMON GRAHAM: (online) Did you ever dream about jamming with your favorite musical heros or playing gigs in front of throgs of screaming fans? Well, please join us at the one and only fantasy camp created by legendary music manager and promoter - me. Simon Graham.", "BRENNAN: Music camp.", "BOOTH: That's not music. That's Rock 'n Roll, Baby. Yeah!", "(Cut to: Hotel - Hallway.)", "BOOTH: According to Cole's lawyer, he was trying to buy a property that Simon Graham didn't want him to have.", "BRENNAN: You think Graham murdered Cole to safeguard some property?", "BOOTH: It's possible. Don't say that Cole is dead. I don't want anybody panicking or trying to flee the scene.", "BRENNAN: I was a very big fan of Toad the Wet Sprocket.", "BOOTH: You might want to keep that to yourself, alright. Now, don't get overwhelmed. It's going to be very loud in here and..", "(They enter the room to find people waiting on line.)", "GUY: So, are you going to the seminar on string height?", "GIRL: I have a class on tone control then.", "GUY: Oh, that's great.", "BOOTH: They're all in line. They're not even pushing. This is not my rock and roll fantasy.", "(Cut to:", "BOOTH: No, no. This can't be right. Rock and roll is not about seminars. Come on, people. Does anyone remember Laughter?", "GINO: Hey, I remember. Zeppelin, man!", "CAMPER #1: Dude, you could lose the tie around here.", "BRENNAN: Well, he-he likes it. It's a gift from a woman.", "BOOTH: (holding up his badge) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. (to Brennan) Hacker get you anything?", "BRENNA: A subscription to Lapham's Quarterly.", "BOOTH: Sexy.", "GINO: Can I help you guys with something 'cause I really don't want to be late for class. I paid a fortune to be at this camp.", "BOOTH: Yeah, We're looking for Simon Graham.", "BEBE: I think he's near the stage. Walk this way.", "BOOTH: Aerosmith.", "GINO: Hey! You know you're music. This is Bebe. I'm Gino.", "CAMPER #1: Is something wrong?", "BRENNAN: It's about one of your camp mates. Richard Cole.", "BEBE: Cole? He hasn't been around for a couple of days.", "GINO: He probably got tired of fighting with Simon. SIMON GRAHAM (onstage) Boys and girls, Erik Dalton!", "GINO: Simon's in there. Erik Dalton is starting his workshop.", "BOOTH: What? Erik Dalton is here? (Erik starts playing his guitar. Booth starts heading to the stage. ) Bones! This is more like it!", "BRENNAN: (following him) Booth...", "BOOTH: Just gimme a minute, huh?", "BRENNAN: Booth. Booth.", "(Booth starts to jump around and play air guitar)", "BOOTH: Yeah!", "BRENNAN: (shouting over the noise) Shouldn't we try to talk to Simon?", "(Booth continues to play air guitar, ignoring her.)", "BRENNAN: Booth!", "(Brennan's had enough. She goes up to the stage and unplugs the guitar from the amp.)", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa.", "ERIK DALTON: Who unplugged me?! No one unplugs me!", "BOOTH: (to Brennan) He's right. No one unplugs Erik Dalton.", "BRENNAN: Well, apparently, I do. It was the only way to get your attention.", "ERIK: Get her out of here, Simon.", "BRENNAN: (to Erik) You're- you're yelling unnecessarily, probably due to hearing loss from the music you play.", "SIMON: What do you think you're doing?", "BOOTH: Okay, uh, listen. Simon Graham, (Booth holds up his badge) FBI. We just have to ask you a few questions about Richard Cole.", "SIMON: Richard Cole? What the hell is this? I'm running a business here.", "BOOTH: I understand. It's not gonna take long. (to Erik - plugging his guitar back into the amp) Dude, I'm sorry.", "(Erik starts playing again - Booth holds up his finger to Simon and signals \"one minute\". He'll talk to him after he's done.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)", "ARASTOO: I've identified 83 injuries to the skeleton that occurred either at the time of death or in the washing machine. I can't tell which.", "HODGINS: So, no cause of death.", "ARASTOO: Not without evidence from hemorrhagic staining and these remains went through a wash cycle with industrial strength bleach. I was pitching a no hitter and now I can't find the plate.", "HODGINS: This baseball thing? You allowed to play?", "ARASTOO: No. The Qur'an strictly forbids baseball. lacrosse, of course, and board games with hungry hippos.", "HODGINS: That's a yes, with an additional comment on my ignorance.", "ARASTOO: I was a state All-Star in high school. I even got scouted by a couple of farm teams", "HODGINS: No way.", "ARASTOO: Yeah. I still play on the weekends. My mosque is in a league. We play against churches and synagogues.", "HODGINS: Wow.", "ARASTOO: You should join us sometime.", "HODGINS: Oh, come on. I can't be on an all-Muslim team. I'm a lapsed Episcopalian.", "ARASTOO: No, every team has a few ringers. The Jews have a Unitarian batting 400.", "HODGINS: Really? Huh. Never tried to beat the infidels before.", "ARASTOO: As long as you find something in your washer goop that helps me determine cause of death, you can play short stop.", "HODGINS: You're on.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Sweets meets Booth as he's getting off the elevator)", "SWEETS: Hey, is it true that Simon Graham's here?", "BOOTH: Yeah. He's in the conference room.", "SWEETS: Okay. I can provide a valuable insight, Agent Booth. The man practically invented a rock sub-culture. You need me.", "BOOTH: You just want to meet him.", "SWEETS: There's a little of that, yes, but I'll be professional. You know I'm a good profiler.", "BOOTH: Okay. Professional.", "SWEETS: Yes. Sure. Okay. Do you know how many seminal rock concert tours he's managed?", "BOOTH: The guy's a god but may be a murdering god. So, use your ears, not your mouth. Just listen. You understand?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquaters - Conference Room.)", "SIMON: My camp is for people who love music. Not wannabes in designer jeans and fancy guitars they never touch.", "BOOTH: You describing Richard Cole?", "SIMON: Well, yeah, he's the idiot that wanted me to turn him into Jimmy Page when the only guitar that he ever played came from a video game, I mean", "SWEETS: That would offend you. That's a personal affront as someone who's dedicated their life to nurturing real musicians.", "SIMON: Well, shouldn't it?", "BOOTH: What can you tell me about The Stock Yard.", "SWEETS: Oh, it's a famous rock club in downtown Baltimore. All the greats used to play there. Mr. Graham used to run it in the 80's. You weren't asking me. Sorry.", "BOOTH: Once Cole's deal went through, he was gonna tear it down, wasn't he?", "SWEETS: That's why you and Cole were fighting, right?", "SIMON: Yeah, we settled that though.", "BOOTH: What are you talking about?", "SIMON: Well, Cole said that he'd leave the club alone if I let him do one song with Erik Dalton at the end of camp night.", "SWEETS: Erik Dalton was one of your guests? Erik Dalton's one of your guest stars?", "BOOTH: He blackmailed you. So did you agree to let Cole play with Dalton?", "SIMON: Well, yeah. This is The Stock Yard we're talking about.", "BOOTH: How did Dalton feel about that?", "SIMON: How do you think he'd feel? Listen, guys, do you mind if I go back to work?", "BOOTH: Sure.", "SWEETS: Yeah. One-one quick question. Bar fight: who wins? Prince and the New Power Generation or Korn.", "SIMON: (standing) Never mess with Prince.", "(He leaves.)", "SWEETS: (to Booth) Never mess with Prince.", "(He exhales and raises his hand as to say - slow down there, kiddo)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Michelle and Cam are at the counter eating lunch.)", "CAM: Honestly, I think you'll like Dr. Lidner and you should have someone else to talk to..especially if there's anything - anything you prefer I didn't know about.", "MICHELLE: I told you, Perry and I are not having s*x.", "CAM: I know and I believe you but you're growing up and your body - it's a woman's body now, not a child's and you should treat it like a woman and I'm gonna stop talking now.", "MICHELLE: It's no big deal, Cam. It's just a doctor.", "CAM: I know, it just means your growing up, for real.", "MICHELLE: And you don't quite know how to handle that.", "CAM: What? No...yeah, kinda but I will, we will, right? I mean, you don't know how to handle me, either. Do you? Because that would be embarrassing.", "MICHELLE: We're fine, Cam.", "CAM: Because you and Perry aren't having s*x, right? Okay, okay. Fry?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Arastoo is still looking over the skeleton when Hodgins and Angela enter.)", "HODGINS: How's it going?", "ARASTOO: Dr. Brennan's waiting for cause of death. At this rate, I'm gonna be John Gochnaur.", "ANGELA: Okay, boys, I'll bite. Who is John Gochnaur?", "ARASTOO: Worst Major League Baseball player ever.", "HODGINS: Cleveland Indians. 187 batting average. Zero home runs and 146 errors.", "ANGELA: Well, is that bad?", "HODGINS: Yeah. It's incomprehensibly bad. (handing a tray to Asastoo.) Here, this might help. If found it in the washing machine cache.", "ARASTOO: What is it?", "HODGINS: Well, it's bone, so that's your department.", "ARASTOO: (looks into the microscope) Cross-hatching. May be bone, but it isn't human.", "HODGINS: What is it?", "ARASTOO: It can't be...", "HODGINS: What can't it be.", "ARASTOO: It's a piece of bone - tusk, actually - from a Wooly Mammoth", "HODGINS: There was a prehistoric elephant in the washer with him? What are you, nuts?", "ARASTOO: No. It has schreger lines on the grain - it's a Wooly Mammoth but no help to me.", "ANGELA: I wouldn't be so sure about that.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is showing Brennan, Hodgins and Arastoo something on the big screen)", "ANGELA: See how this top edge curves? Now, if the curved continued - and then down here, before it got worn away in the washer - there was a point..", "BRENNAN: A guitar pick.", "ANGELA: Exactly.", "BRENNAN: Wait. Why would someone want a guitar pick made of extinct prehistoric mammal.", "ANGELA: Well, according to my dad, guitarists have this thing about their picks: different materials make different sounds.", "HODGINS: Brian May uses and English penny.", "ANGELA: My dad uses a Nicaraguan Cordoba. Some guys use tortoise shells or uh, a sharks tooth.", "BRENNAN: Do you know of any famous guitarist who use Wooly Mammoth picks?", "ANGELA: Erik Dalton.", "ARASTOO: Mr. Dalton's pick winded up in the washing machine with a dead body. That poses some serious questions, don't you think?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I do.", "ANGELA: And Dalton isn't exactly for keeping his cool. Check out this video from a concert in Australia, two years ago.", "(She plays the video. Dalton is onstage, playing when a fan jumps on stage and knocks him over. He gets up, punches the guy in the face, throws his guitar on the floor and starts to take more swings at the guy until security comes and breaks up the fight)", "HODGINS: This guy has got a seriously short fuse.", "(Cut to: Hotel - Erik Dalton's Room. Booth and Brennan are there to talk to him. He's sitting down, strumming an acoustic guitar.)", "BOOTH: So Richard Cole stopped showing up for his private rehearsals with you and you don't notice?", "ERIK DALTON: Are you kidding me? I was thrilled. I was sick of kissing that guys ass (to Brennan) Hey, what are ya doing, baby? Can I help you with something?", "BRENNAN: You have no expertise that would be of value to me.", "ERIK: I wouldn't be so sure. Why don't you come sit next to me.", "BOOTH: Excuse me, I really like your music, doesn't mean I'm not gonna clock ya, alright? Let's just focus. So, Simon Graham - he pays you a boatload of money and you still treat the campers like crap?", "ERIK: Guys a poser, dude. I got stuck with an ass-hat who couldn't even play rhythm for Toad the Wet Sprocket.", "BRENNAN: Oh, I love them.", "ERIK: Hmm. Suddenly, the inside of my pants isn't such a happy place.", "BRENNAN: Personally, I find your music discordant and irritating - rather reminiscent of Muruwari death wailing in its capacity to annoy.", "BOOTH: So maybe Cole pisses you off. Throw a little coke into the mix. You lose control - I mean, it's not like it hasn't happened before.", "ERIK: Hey, man. I've been clean for two years. I even do yoga - and that hurts.", "BRENNAN: Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: This splintering is fresh. Something hit the side of this table quite hard and there are scuff marks on the wall beside it that could indicate a struggle.", "BOOTH: Did you have a fight in this room?", "ERIK: A party. I had some campers over Tuesday night- gives them a story to tell their friends.", "(Brennan examines the carpet with a UV light. There are blood stains.)", "BRENNAN: There's blood on the carpet.", "ERIK: Ah, I don't know anything about that. When things got wild, I left. Caught a cab across town, spent some quality time with a girlfriend.", "BOOTH: Well, I'm gonna need that girlfriends name and number.", "BRENNAN: And I'm gonna need this carpet.", "ERIK: Sure.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: The Medical Plaza - Waiting Room. Michelle comes out of a door and meets up with Cam.)", "CAM: Hey, how did it go?", "MICHELLE: Fine. You really didn't need to come with me.", "CAM: I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.", "MICHELLE: Sure. He's cool. Easy to talk to.", "CAM: Good. That's excellent.", "DR. LIDNER: Uh, excuse me, Dr. Saroyan. Um, do you have a minute? A couple of insurance questions is all.", "CAM: Sure. Be back in a minute.", "(Cut to: The Medical Center - Dr. Lidner's Office.)", "CAM: Is there a problem with Michelle?", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, no, no, no, no. She's-she's great. In perfect health.", "CAM: And she spoke to you..about things.", "DR. LIDNER: Confidential things. Yeah. I can tell you she's a wonderful girl. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you.", "CAM: Right. Insurance.", "DR. LIDNER: Uh, not about insurance, either, no.", "CAM: Now I'm stumped.", "DR. LIDNER: Um, I just thought - Would it be weird if I asked you to, uh, go out with me sometime?", "CAM: Ye-Yes, that-that, um...would be weird.", "DR. LIDNER: Of course. Uh, very weird.", "CAM: Yeah, right? It-it is weird.", "DR. LIDNER: Totally. Totally weird.", "CAM: But, um, I would say yes.", "DR. LIDNER: Really? (Cam nods) That's... great.", "CAM: Does that mean you're asking? (Cam's phone rings) Oh. I'm sorry. Excuse me. (she checks her phone) Work. I've got to go.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, I-I am, though.", "CAM: What?", "DR. LIDNER: Asking. I'll call you?", "CAM: I would like that.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - ANgela's Office. Arastoo is showing Brennan and Angela micro-fractures.)", "ARASTOO: So we know that the micro-fractures radiate out of each trauma site. These micro-fractures expand until they run into other radiating fractures, which were created by earlier trauma wounds.", "ANGELA: Now, the trick is to separate out those points of trauma where the radiating micro-fractures just keep going because there were no earlier fractures to cross paths with.", "ARASTOO: In this way, we can identify the perimortem fractures, and therefore, determine that cause of death was trauma to the skull and chest cavity.", "BRENNAN: Cole was beaten to death. Excellent work.", "ARASTOO: Thank you. And Angela, of course. Double play, right?", "(They high five.)", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "BRENANN: I assume you were talking about baseball again, although I have no idea why.", "ANGELA: Well, it's baseball season, sweetie. This is when boys like to hit balls with sticks when the snow melts. I don't know why.", "BRENNAN: Oh. Well, what about the murder weapon?", "ARASTOO: I'm going to make castings of the pertinent injuries.", "ANGELA: I'm making him 3- D scans so he can focus on all the un-remodeled fractures.", "BRENNAN: Sweets would probably say that the need to hit balls with a large stick shows that you're insecure with your manhood.", "ARASTOO: I can assure you...", "BRENNAN: I think it's probably just enjoyable to hit things.", "(Brennan leaves. Angela laughs.)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Cam is talking to Brennan.)", "CAM: Erik Dalton's hotel room's a good bet for the murder scene. We found two sets of DNA.", "BRENNAN: So, two people bled on this carpet?", "CAM: Yes. The first set of DNA belonged to our victim.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps the second set belongs to our killer.", "CAM: I found traces of Klonopin in the mystery blood, which means, whoever it belongs to either has a panic disorder or epilepsy.", "BRENNAN: We should cross-reference the list of campers with the prescription drug database.", "(Brennan starts to walk towards the door but then turns back to Cam.)", "BRENNAN: Booth seems to like Catherine, don't you think?", "CAM: I do. I'm glad. It's been a long time since he's dated anyone.", "BRENNAN: I know. It's important for Booth to share his life. I prefer being alone.", "CAM: But you're seeing Hacker.", "BRENNAN: Yes, and I like him, but not like Booth. I mean not like Booth wants to like someone.", "CAM: All organisms evolve and develop along patterns only recognized in retrospect. Your life doesn't exist outside the laws of nature.", "BRENNAN: Then, in ignorance, I await my own surprise. Although the odds of it involving a commitment to another person are remote.", "CAM: I never thought I'd be dating now; yet I am.", "BRENNAN: You met someone.", "CAM: I think so. We're going to have lunch.", "BRENNAN: It's been quite a while for you.", "CAM: And thanks for pointing that out.", "(Brennan's receives a text message.)", "BRENNAN: Oh, Booth wants me to meet him at the hotel.", "CAM: Go. I'll call you if I get a hit on the Klonopin.", "(Cut to: Hotel - Stage Area. Students are practicing while Simon is giving some of them instructions.)", "SIMON: (O.S.) All right, now reverse on the chords.", "(Brennan enters the stage area. Booth is sitting on the Amp pretending to drum, his tie is now around his head, while the students are playing around him.)", "BRENNAN: Booth? Booth, I'm not sure this is a worthwhile use of our time.", "BOOTH: Why? We're still waiting for an I.D. on the blood, right? I mean, Come on. We've got a few minutes to spare.", "BRENNAN: This is pathetic, Booth, pretending to be something you're not. It's dilettante camp.", "BOOTH: Okay, listen. What if this was, like, anthropology fantasy camp, and you got to meet...I don't know, uh, Margaret Mead?", "BRENNAN: She's dead.", "BOOTH: Well, who would you want to meet?", "BRENNAN: Me.", "BOOTH: You?", "BRENNAN: Yes, if I were an anthropology enthusiast, I'd want to go to fantasy camp to meet me.", "BOOTH: Ah, come on, Bones. Play along. (The musicians start to play the opening notes to \"Hot Blooded\" by Foreigner.) It's rock and roll fantasy camp. It's cool, right? You hear that? That is our song. Remember \"Hot Blooded\"?", "BRENNAN: The last time we sang this song, Booth, someone tried to kill you.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but it was fun up until the blast, right? Come on.", "(BOoth jumps on the stage and starts singing into the microphone)", "BOOTH: (singing) I'm hot blooded, check it and see... (he notices Brennan strapping on a guitar) Wait a second. You play the guitar?", "BRENNAN: Well, I play the akonting, the folk lute of the Jola tribe, but the guitar is not dissimilar.", "(Brennan joins him on stage and starts to stum the guitar. They both start to sing.)", "BOOTH & BRENNAN: (singing) Well, I'm Hot blooded. Check it and see. I've got a fever of a hundred and three. Come on, baby, you can do more than dance. I'm hot blooded, hot blooded!", "(Brennan rocks on the guitar solo but receives a text message so she stops and checks her phone while Booth keeps rocking out)", "BRENNAN: Oh. (to Booth) Cam got an I.D. the other blood found in the hotel room. Fred Keaton. He's also registered here as a camper.", "BOOTH: Alright. (excited) One more verse.", "(Brennan smiles and starts playing the guitar again, they start singing. They're having a blast)", "BOOTH & BRENNAN: (singing) Well, I'm Hot blooded. Check it and see. I've got a fever of a hundred and three. Come on, baby, you can do more than dance. Hot blooded, hot blooded!", "BOOTH: Woo!", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is talking with Fred Keaton.)", "FRED KEATON: I didn't do anything.", "BOOTH: You took off from fantasy camp. You disappear and you end up hiding out in some cheap motel?", "FRED KEATON: I wasn't hiding.", "BRENNAN: We know you and Richard Cole had a fight in Erik Dalton's hotel room. Your blood is on the carpet with his.", "FRED KEATON: He had it coming, okay?", "BOOTH: Well, what was the fight about?", "FRED KEATON: I told him I was still hoping to be discovered. I know it's ridiculous, but I've spent years in my garage playing and I'm good. It could happen, right?", "BOOTH: Just keep going.", "FRED KEATON: Last Monday, we had a jam night at camp. This guy came up to me, told me he's with Rolling Stone. Told me my guitar playing is amazing; he's gonna include me in an article called \"The 100 Best Guitarists You've Never Heard Of. \"", "BRENNAN: Oh, that sounds like a good thing.", "BOOTH: Sounds too good, I'm guessing.", "FRED KEATON: Then these girls come up, told me I'm going to be a star. Asked if they could keep me company for a few hours.", "BRENNAN: What-what for?", "BOOTH: s*x, Bones.", "BRENNAN; Oh. Quite a lucky night for you.", "BOOTH: It was a prank. See, he was messing with you, wasn't he?", "FRED KEATON: How was I supposed to know? I called my wife, told her I wanted to take a break. Then at Erik Dalton's party, Cole starts laughing. Tells me the journalist was an actor. And the groupies were...", "BOOTH: Professionals.", "FRED KEATON: Rich b*st*rd ruined my life.", "BRENNAN: Excellent motive for murder.", "FRED KEATON: What are you talking about?", "BOOTH: Richard Cole is dead and I'm thinking you killed him and took off.", "FRED KEATON: No. I left to do damage control. My wife won't even let me in the front door. She wouldn't even talk to me. Look, I have no idea who killed Cole but what he did to me, he deserved it.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Brennan, Angela, Hodgins and Arastoo are looking at the big screen.)", "ARASTOO: Angela scanned the castings I made of the fatal injuries so we can get a better sense of the murder weapon.", "ANGELA: Yeah and I cleaned up the edges and these are the shapes that caused the injuries.", "HODGINS: Cam said the blood spatter analysis didn't show any drag marks on the carpet from Dalton's hotel room.", "ANGELA: Hmm. Which means that Cole wasn't killed there.", "BRENNAN: No two of the injuries share the same impact surface area.", "ARASTOO: I know. So it appears the guy was hit with various weapons that were each used once.", "BRENNAN: Or he was hit multiple times by a weapon with a variety of surface shapes.", "ANGELA: Well, you know, this could be a tailpiece.", "BRENNAN: A what?", "ANGELA: And-and that could be a tremolo arm, which means that those lines are from strings.", "HODGINS: Wait a minute. Out victim was beaten to death with a guitar?", "BRENNAN: I've actually seen this before. Solid body guitars can prove quite lethal.", "ARASTOO: There have to be over 50 guitars at the fantasy camp. Without cause, we can't get warrants for all of them.", "ANGELA: Yeah, but that shape. I mean, the bottom is too curved to be a Tele or a Strat, but...it's not an SG because the tailpiece wraps around and then there's the distance to the jack plate. You know, I think we're looking for a '57 Gibson Les Paul.", "HODGINS: That is so hot that you know that. Interesting. It's-that's interesting.", "ANGELA: Well, it's not like I know every guitar, but I do know the expensive ones.", "BRENNAN: How expensive?", "ANGELA: I'd say our victim was beaten to death by about a quarter of a million dollars.", "(Cut to: Park. Cam and Dr. are sitting on a bench, having lunch with Dr. Paul Lidner.)", "CAM: And then after a perfectly nice evening, I could tell he didn't even want to shake my hand. He looked positively pained.", "He's a science professor. No. Associate professor. Oh. people get weird when they find out that I handle dead people all day. Now I just say I'm an insurance underwriter.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh. Good one.", "CAM: Mm-hmm.", "DR. LIDNER: I'm an accountant.", "CAM: No.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, yeah. No one wants to talk about work with an accountant. Or an insurance underwriter.", "CAM: Except other accountants or underwriters.", "DR. LIDNER: Mm. (he laughs)", "CAM: So, do we share any other great deceptions?", "DR. LIDNER: Um... I can make a coin disappear and come out of your ear.", "CAM: Ooh. I hate magic. I'm sorry.", "DR. LIDNER: Ah. Yeah. Me too. But it always worked for my Uncle Dave. Of course he was in a nursing home.", "CAM: Am I smiling like a fool? 'Cause that would be embarrassing.", "DR. LIDNER: Ah, well, you look beautiful embarrassed.", "CAM: Then I'll keep smiling.", "DR. LIDNER: I should get back to the office.", "CAM: And I have a murder to solve.", "DR. LIDNER: Oh, right.", "CAM: Um, what do you say we catch a movie on the weekend?", "DR. LIDNER: Yeah.", "CAM: I'll see what my parental duties are and give you a call?", "DR. LIDNER: Sounds good. Okay.", "(Cam leaves)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth, Brennan and Sweets are having lunch.)", "BOOTH: Do you remember when Simon told us that Cole showed up at camp with a fancy guitar?", "SWEETS: Yeah, he wasn't kidding. A '57 Gibson Les Paul?", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, it disappeared at the same time that Cole did.", "SWEETS: You think he was killed for his guitar?", "BRENANN: All we know is, he was killed with his guitar.", "SWEETS: With a '57 Gibson Les Paul. That's like whacking someone with the Mona Lisa.", "BOOTH: I got agents checking out dealers in the area. See if anyone tried to sell it.", "BRENNAN: Well, unless the killer destroyed it.", "BOOTH: Killing something like that would be like killing Altamont or, uh, \"Smells Like Teen Spirit. \"", "SWEETS: You know, the guitar has long been recognized as an unconscious symbol of copulation. The, uh, head and the shaft are phallic, the body feminine. Maybe our killer was acting out of sexual confusion.", "BOOTH: Or maybe someone just wanted the guitar.", "BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: Wouldn't you?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Yeah. (he gets a text) Oh, look at this; I got a hit. Dealer in DC got the guitar; said it was brought in by a woman with a pierced eyebrow.", "(Cut to: Hotel - Lobby. Bebe is seated, discussing music with )", "GINO: Whatever. Jimi Hendrix choked to death on his own vomit.", "BEBE: The autopsy was inconsistent and Hendrix's manager confessed to shoving pills and red wine down his throat, hoping to cash in on an insurance policy.", "BOOTH: Wow. You really know your rock and roll deaths.", "BEBE: Oh, hi again. Yeah, I guess I do.", "BRENNAN: We need you to come with us.", "BEBE: What for?", "BOOTH: We have some unanswered questions about Kurt Cobain's death. We thought maybe you could give us some insight.", "BEBE: Seriously?!", "BRENNAN: Well, I believe he was being ironic but if you do have information about this Cobain person, I'm sure the FBI would appreciate that too.", "BOOTH: Thanks, Bones.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Interrogation Room. Booth is talking to Bebe)", "BEBE: Cole is dead. I thought he was just missing.", "BOOTH: That why you thought you'd get away with selling his quarter-of-a-million- dollar guitar?", "BEBE: How much? That dealer totally ripped me off.", "BOOTH: Stay on topic, all right?", "BEBE: Okay. After Dalton's party, I snuck into Cole's room and took the guitar. It was sitting on the stand all polished. He usual kept it filthy. I don't know why he suddenly gave a crap about it.", "BOOTH: How did you get in?", "BEBE: I had a key. We hooked up the first night of camp. You know, after all the loser musicians I dated, I thought I finally found a decent guy, but...", "BOOTH: What happened?", "BEBE: Cole told me that he was planning on sleeping with every woman at camp as part of his own rock and roll fantasy. He thanked me for being such low-hanging fruit.", "BOOTH: So you killed him and you stole his guitar.", "BEBE: He was a poseur; he didn't deserve that guitar. Look, I know it was wrong to take it, but I swear to God, I didn't kill him.", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Observation Room.)", "SWEETS: I believe her.", "BOOTH: Me, too. Too bad she's going to prison for grand theft.", "BRENNAN: Then who killed Cole?", "SWEETS: Well, everything that you've learned about the victim, uh, indicates that he was only interested in the external signifiers of the rock and roll lifestyle, correct?", "BRENNAN: Yes, the clothes, the instruments, the groupers.", "BOOTH: Groupies, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Well, groupers would be more logical. Male groupers have harems of multiple females. If you enter into a social contract with a marine biologist, you should know these things.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, a fish can't play the guitar.", "BRENNAN: Well, apparently, neither could Cole.", "BOOTH: You don't have to keep bringing up Catherine.", "BRENNAN: Well, you're welcome to bring up Andrew.", "SWEETS: I have an opinion on motive, if anyone's interested.", "BOOTH: Right.", "SWEETS: Okay. To a true music fan, the fact that Richard Cole was playing the ultimate guitar would be sacrilegious, profane, even. And the fact that the killer put it back in Cole's room, rather than destroy it, further demonstrates his reverence for rock and roll.", "BOOTH: So, you're saying that the music is the motive.", "SWEETS: I know it's wrong, but I am liking our killer better than our victim.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. The guitar is sitting on the stand.)", "ANGELA: Oh, wow. This is gorgeous. I wish my dad was here.", "CAM: No prints other than those of the dealer.", "HODGINS: The killer did an excellent cleaning job.", "CAM: Take it apart. See if he missed anything.", "ANGELA: Okay, um... I'm not going to watch that.", "HODGINS: I'll do it in the Ookey Room. Arastoo, little help here?", "(Hodgins grabs the guitar, Arastoo grabs the stand and they leave. Cam sees Michelle.)", "CAM: (to Angela) Will you excuse me?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Cam and Michelle are walking to her office.)", "MICHELLE: Dr. Lidner left a message at the house.", "CAM: Was there anything wrong with your tests?", "MICHELLE: No. He was confirming your date for Saturday night.", "CAM: Oh. That. Yes. I was going to tell you...", "MICHELLE: You're dating my gynecologist!?", "CAM: It wasn't my fault. It just happened.", "MICHELLE: What? Think about what you'd say if I said that to you.", "CAM: I'd ground you. I'm...sorry. We had lunch. We liked each other. That's all. And that was wrong. Very, very wrong.", "MICHELLE: Is that why you sent me to him? So you could get a date? I know you haven't seen anyone since I've been living with you.", "CAM: No. He's a good doctor, that's all.", "MICHELLE: Who just happens to be cute.", "CAM: Yes. No. God.", "MICHELLE: Why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me? You have to sneak around behind my back?", "CAM: No. Wait. How did we switch roles here?", "MICHELLE: I can't go back to him now. That would be extremely skeevy.", "CAM: We just had lunch. I swear. I will never see him again. I promise.", "MICHELLE: Yes, you will.", "CAM: What?", "MICHELLE: You've been so focused on being a good mother that you've totally ignored yourself. Do you know what kind of pressure that puts on me?", "CAM: No, I... I didn't realize.", "MICHELLE: You need a life... for my sake. But don't sneak around behind my back. You two seem like a good fit. Have a little fun but don't go too fast. You're out of practice.", "CAM: Excuse me?", "MICHELLE: I thought you believed in honesty.", "CAM: Oh... all right. I'll go slow. Very, very slow.", "MICHELLE: And find me a new doctor. A woman.", "CAM: Sure. Right away.", "MICHELLE: I've got to get back to school.", "CAM: Okay.", "MICHELLE: Love you.", "CAM: Love you, too.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room.)", "ARASTOO: What do you have, Dr. Hodgins? Anything? A walk? A single? Don't strike out, please.", "BRENNAN: Mr. Vaziri, your obsession with sport will no doubt diminish your mental acuity.", "ARASTOO: Oh, on the contrary, Dr. Brennan, baseballs a game built on mathematical certainty, the physics of force and velocity, as well as its anthropological significance as being one of the unifying cultural traditions for Americans.", "Hmm. Intellectually, it's quite stimulating, and, uh, I like swinging a bat.", "HODGINS: Okay, this fret is cracked.", "BRENNAN: What, from impact?", "HODGINS: No, no. The cracks are tiny. Yeah, you know, every fret in the lower register is cracked.", "ARASTOO: The guitar is old.", "HODGINS: Yeah, but that doesn't matter. This is from chlorine. See, the frets are made out of nickel and nickel reacts like this when exposed to chlorine.", "BRENNAN: There's a rooftop pool at the hotel. If Cole was murdered there, the killer might have cleaned the guitar with pure chlorine.", "HODGINS: That's why it was so clean when Bebe stole it.", "ARASTOO: Well, the strings are made out of nickel, too, aren't they?", "HODGINS: Yeah, but they're brand-new. I mean, there's no cracking.", "ARASTOO: The killer must have known he couldn't get all the blood off, so he didn't even try.", "HODGINS: Well, if the killer restrung the guitar, then maybe he left us a little present. Bingo.", "BRENNAN: Is that a hair?", "HODGINS: Yes. Yes, it is. Purple.", "BRENNAN: I think I know whose that is. Someone who would kill to play with Erik Dalton. I believe we would call this a home run.", "(Cut to: Hotel Lobby. Gino is up on stage playing the final song of camp with Erik Dalton. All the campers are rocking out. Booth and Brennan make their way through the crowd.)", "BOOTH: Guess what, uh, kind of pick Bebe said Gino uses.", "BRENNAN: Woolly mammoth?", "(They get to the front. Booth sees Gino and hold up his handcuffs to let him know that they're there for him - but they let him finish playing the song.)", "CROWD: Whoo!", "BRENNAN: Whoo!", "GINO: Whoo!", "(He jumps off stage and goes over to Booth and Brennan)", "GINO: I couldn't let that poser play with it. Go ahead, man. It was worth it.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I'm sure it was. Come on.", "(He cuffs Gino and leads him away)", "GINO: WOO!", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers. Booth and Brennan are sitting at the bar, having a beer.)", "BOOTH: You know, our killer plays a mean guitar. I'm sure that they have, you know, a band in prison for him.", "BRENNAN: You're a very good singer.", "BOOTH: Thank you, Bones. And you-you play the guitar in a very interesting fashion.", "BRENNAN: I know. Does Catherine play?", "BOOTH: I don't know. I've only been out with her twice, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Last night, Andrew gave me a CD with music he likes.", "BOOTH: Mix-tape, huh? Talk about a social contract.", "BRENNAN: That's what I surmised. (she pauses) Our partnership is still important to me. You know that, right?", "BOOTH: Sure. Yeah. Die for your, partner. That's the way I look at it.", "(After a few seconds..)", "BRENNAN: I liked Andrew's taste in music except for a band called Led Zeppelin.", "BOOTH: Except for a band called Led Zeppelin?", "BRENNAN: (hesitantly) Yes.", "BOOTH: What? You kidding me? Led Zeppelin is, like, the best rock and roll band ever. I mean, they had a reunion tour in '07 in London. I would have killed for those tickets.", "BRENNAN: Really? My publisher offered me tickets, but when I heard \"Zeppelin,\" I thought it was for some sort of air show.", "BOOTH: Air show? You turned down what probably was the last concert that Zeppelin would ever play?", "BRENNAN: Are you going to kill me?", "BOOTH: You're unbelievable!", "BRENNAN: Well, it's just a band, Booth.", "BOOTH: It's not just a band, okay? This is Led Zeppelin. You know what? I am your partner. You offer your partner those kind of things.", "BRENNAN: I didn't know that!", "BOOTH: Offer your partner the tickets.", "END." ]

[ "The Jeffersonian team and prosecutor Caroline Julian ( Patricia Belcher ) work to convict Heather Taffet aka the Gravedigger ( Deirdre Lovejoy ) who is defending herself at her trial. Brennan, Booth, and Hodgins are forced to drop their own charges against Taffet once they discover the missing remains of a young boy who was killed by the Gravedigger, so they could work and testify against Taffet. Believing Taffet will not be convicted, Brennan's father tries to kill her with a sniper rifle, but Booth is able to stop him and Max is jailed until the trial is over. After several attempts at finding evidence that Taffet successfully argues against, Hodgins discover a dust mite from the boy's mouth that contains the DNA of Taffet, left there when he bit her. This evidence proves successful and the jury convicts Taffet of kidnapping and murder, but Taffet warns Brennan \"that it's not over\". The team later celebrate over drinks at the Founding Fathers bar." ]

[ "(Open: We hear a heartbeating. Brennan is running through what looks like a warehouse. She scared. She runs into a fence, unable to escape but then she hears a voice calling out to her.)", "HODGINS: Help me! Help me!", "(She runs towards the sound of Hodgins' voice. He's strapped to a conveyor belt, bleeding.)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins!", "HODGINS: Help me!", "BRENNAN: Hodgins!", "HODGINS: Dr. Brennan!", "(Just as she gets to him, he's pulled away on the conveyor belt. She can't reach him.)", "BRENNAN: Hodgins. HODGINS!!", "(She hears another voice of in the distant. It's Booth. She runs toward the sound of his voice and finds him trapped in room.)", "BOOTH: Boooonneeesss.", "BRENNAN: Booth! Booth!", "BOOTH: Stay with me!", "BRENNAN: Booth!", "(She tries to open the door. He's pounding on it. Then she sees the water rushing in the room behind him. He's going to drown if she doesn't save him. She continues to pound on the door. Ahand reaches from behind her and covers her mouth and she sees the water overtake him. The next second she 'wake up' and finds herself in clear box and she realizes she's stuck in a grave. She looks up and sees Heather Taffet with a shovel. Taffet starts to shovel dirt into the hole. Brennan screams and pounds her fists on the case. Taffet laughs. Brennan jolts awake. It was all just a nightmare.)", "(Cut to: Brennan's Apartment. She's in the kitchen, getting ready for work while watching the news.)", "REPORTER: (on tv screen) The Gravedigger case finally begins today with an evidentiary hearing. The defendant, prominent federal prosecutor, Heather Taffet, will be defending herself against multiple charges of kidnapping and murder. One charge involves 10 year old Terrence Gilroy, who has never been found. Testimony is expected from three kidnapping victims: Seeley Booth, an Agent with the FBI, as well as scientists Jack Hodgins and Temperance Brenann from the Jeffersonian...", "(Brennan turns off the Tv. She's heard enough. You can tell she's really been affected by this case.)", "(Cut to: Courthouse. Booth and Brennan are in the hallway.)", "BOOTH: You okay, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Of course, why wouldn't I be?", "BOOTH: Well, we're about to come head to head with the woman who tried to kill both of us.", "BRENNAN: So are you. Are you okay?", "BOOTH: SUre. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just checking in. Just wanted to make sure you're okay and if you need anything, I'm -", "BRENNAN: It's just another case, Booth.", "BOOTH: Right.", "BRENNAN: (stopping) Dad!", "(Max Brennan walks towards them)", "BOOTH: Max.", "BRENNAN: Wha-what are you doing here?", "MAX: Just thought you should have a little support from somebody who's been through the legal system a few times.", "BRENNAN: Why is everyone treating me like a child?", "MAX: Because I don't want you to get your hopes up. This is far from a slam dunk.", "BOOTH: That's exactly why Caroline here. Alright? We have five cases, multiple counts: Bones,", "Hodgins, the 10 year old boy..", "MAX: Whose body has never been found. Your prosecutor's getting desperate.", "BOOTH: Max, she knows what she's doing. Okay?", "BRENNAN: I thought you were here for support, dad?", "(Cut to: Courtroom. Brennan is seated in the front row between Max & Booth. Hodgins, Angela & Cam are seated right behind them. Heather Taffet is brought into the court room. She's wearing an orange jumper and handcuffs and eyes Booth, Brennan & Hodgins.)", "JUDGE REILLY DUFREY: Okay. You all ready to play nice?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Always, Your Honor.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, since I'm representing myself - I'd like to request that my shackles be removed while I'm in court?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: This is only an evidentary hearing, Your Honor. There's no jury to prejudice and frankly, I feel a bit more secure with her in chains.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Spare us the dramatic flourishes, Miss Julian. When we go to trial, we can revisit the request, Miss Taffet. First witness.", "(Cut to: The next scene cuts between everyone taking the stand)", "CAM: Burn marks were found on the victims that were consistent with injuries one would sustain from a 3 million volt stun gun.", "BOOTH: The stun gun was found in the suspects storage locker. It matches the stun gun that was used on the attack on me..", "HODGINS: The suspects steel-toed boots were also found in the storage locker.", "HEATHER TAFFET: This storage locker was found with information obtained illegally, wasn't it?", "CAM: We didn't know that at the time, Your Honor. We obtained a legal warrant to search the locker.", "HEATHER TAFFET: The fact that Agent Booth's brother gave you the lead didn't make you suspicious?", "BRENNAN: He was an officer assigned to Homeland Security. We had no reason to question the information provided.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: The warrant was obtained without malice.", "HEATHER TAFFET: That's irrelevant, Your Honor. Everything found in that storage locker should be dismissed.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: I submit that a warrant wasn't even necessary. Under precedent of imminent danger - law authority have the duty to enter that storage locker without a valid warrant. Agent Booth's life was in danger.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Imminent danger applies only if law enforcement hears a violent threat or struggle at the scene.", "JUDGE DUFREY: I'm sorry, Miss Julian. No matter how pure the intention, the warrant was obtained illegally. Therefore, any and all evidence gathered during the search and seizure is inadmissible.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Thank you, Your Honor.", "JUDGE DUFREY: This was not a personal favor, Miss Taffet. I am restrained by the law.", "HEATHER TAFFET: I'd like to move that all charges be dropped, Your Honor.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: You'd like that, wouldn't you? We still have dirt samples from the crime scene. The ransom tapes..", "HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, this is a waste of the courts time and the tax payers money.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: If I lose, I'll send everyone a note of apology.", "JUDGE DUFREY: You aren't left with much, Miss Julian. You sure you want to proceed?", "(Caroline looks at Taffet and then turns around and looks at Booth, Brennan and Hodgins and she knows that they need this.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: (adamantely) Yes, Your Honor.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Okay. The charges stand. We're going to trial. Court is adjourned.", "(Taffet walks over to where Brennan is.)", "HEATHER TAFFET: If you're so brillant, Dr. Brennan, why couldn't you find something as simple as the number?", "(The guards take her away as Booth comes up next to Brennan.)", "BOOTH: You alright? What'd she say?", "BRENNAN: She says I missed some evidence.", "BOOTH: What evidence?", "BRENNAN: She doesn't think I can find it.", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is running a program through the computer.", "Brennan enters.)", "BRENNAN: Booth is getting her arrest records as well as old case files from when she was a prosecutor.", "ANGELA: Okay, uh, I'm pulling every record we have so far associated with Taffet. Social security numbers, birthdates, blood test results.", "CAM: Ages of the victims?", "ANGELA: Got those. I'm using a recursive search algorithim, which analyzes and cross references the data. Since they're related, any inconsistencies can raise a red flag.", "HODGINS: I think Taffet is just messing with us again.", "SWEETS: I have to disagree. Her pathology is consistent; this is all a game to her. She won the first round so now she's upping the stakes by challenging Dr. Brennan.", "HODGINS: Yeah, or maybe she knows there's something in the soil samples we already have so she's just trying to distract us.", "SWEETS: YOu analyzed those soil samples a hundred times.", "HODGINS: Are you telling me to give up, Sweets?", "SWEETS: No, of course not. But I mean, I understand the need to cling to anything..", "HODGINS: Cling. Okay, so I'm crazy now.", "SWEETS: That's not what I meant.", "CAM: Go, Dr. Hodgins. Look at the soil again. You may find something.", "(Hodgins leaves.)", "ANGELA: You know, he still gets nightmares. Says he wakes up in a sweat.", "SWEETS: I should have been more sensitive. (to Brennan) This must be difficult for you too. If you need any..", "BRENNAN: I'm fine. What about the weight and size of the victims remains?", "ANGELA: Yeah. That's a good idea. I'll check it out.", "(Brennan leaves.)", "(Cut to: Royal Diner. Caroline enters the diner carrying a box and sets it on Booth's table.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Here are the first set of documents you asked for. More numbers than I've ever seen in my life.", "BOOTH: Right. Thanks. You okay?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, you mean because this case is a career killer? I'm cute. I can always find a job.", "BOOTH: Well, they're gonna come up with something. They always do. Right?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Do you really believe that, Cherie?", "BOOTH: Well, they saved my life, remember? That was impossible.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Well, I'll give you that one. So, how's your girlfriend holding up?", "BOOTH: She's fine. She's not my girlfriend.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, so those little looks between you...", "BOOTH: Nothing.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Right. I hope you're more believeable on the stand. Have Angela run these numbers as quickly as she can. The judge isn't gonna give me more than a day.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is listening to the Gravediggers ransom tape from the latest victim.)", "GRAVEDIGGER: (AUDIO) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within 8 hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications.", "(Hodgins enters)", "HODGINS: What happened to the numbers?", "ANGELA: Well, I came up dry. Brennan and Booth are compliling another set but until then, I'm trying to drag Taffet's voice from these ransom tapes.", "HODGINS: Well, any luck?", "ANGELA: She used a variable band inversion, so the wave is broken up into hundreds of small sections. Each section scrambled with different frequency sequencing.", "HODGINS: You didn't ask me if I found anything new in the soil samples.", "ANGELA: Did you?", "HODGINS: No. Of course not. Sweets was right. You knew that. I'm barely keeping it together here, Ange.", "ANGELA: Well, you were uh, you were sane enough to marry me.", "HODGINS: I don't feel strong enough to tell anybody yet. I feel like she's still got me locked up, you know? I mean, when I see her there's just this, um, anger. I mean, it's like a helplessness that comes-", "ANGELA: I know. I know.", "HODGINS: When I was buried in that car, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. And now, I feel like she's still in between us.", "ANGELA: Well, she's not. Look at me. She's not. Nobody can get between us.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office.)", "BOOTH: Come on, Bones. You've been at it for hours. You gotta eat something.", "BRENNAN: In a little while. Her old court documents from when she was a prosecutor have case numbers, criminal code numbers and then there are zip codes.", "BOOTH: Well, that's great and all but it's not going to be any good if you starve yourself to death.", "(He put a contain of Chinese food on the table in front of her.)", "BRENNAN: She was laughing at me, I - I can't let her win.", "BOOTH: She won't.", "BRENNAN: You hope. She may be amoral, but she is brilliant.", "BOOTH: Well, you're more brilliant.", "BRENNAN: What if her dispassion makes her more logical. What if that gives her and advantage over me?", "BOOTH: Wait a minute. Now you're upset because you're not more like a psychopath?", "BRENNAN: I just think...maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I've involved with now. All of the relationships, they complicate logical thought.", "BOOTH: You don't mean that.", "BRENNAN: Could we please just work.", "BOOTH: Sure.", "(Brennan reaches for the food container while Booth picks up a file.)", "BOOTH: Salt Lake City?", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: When we arrested Taffet she used her one phone call from jail to Salt Lake City - area code 801.", "BRENNAN: Well, she's representing herself, so it couldn't be to a lawyer.", "(Booth dials the phone)", "BRENNAN: Who would she call in Salt Lake City?", "VOICE: Larry's Pizza. How may I help you?", "(He hangs up. They're both confused.)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office.)", "BOOTH: None of the employees at the pizza place have a connection to Taffet. None of 'em here have any criminal records.", "BRENNAN: The phone records show that Taffet hung up after 10 seconds.", "BOOTH: She didn't request another call.", "BRENNAN: Angela's matching the number with the numerical sequencing program. This is the number, Booth. This has to be the number.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. She's running numbers on the screen again)", "ANGELA: I'm running a numerical sequencing program to see if there's a match with any of our victims. I'm coming up with nothing.", "(A number starts to form on the screen)", "ANGELA: Oh, my god. The number is a GPS location.", "(The program narrows in on a small spot in Nottoway County, Virginia.)", "(Cut to: Crime Scene in Virgina. An officer is putting up caution tape as Booth and Brennan arrive.)", "BOOTH: So, everybody out.", "BRENNAN: Oh, god.", "BOOTH: Oh, god.", "(Brennan approaches the old freezer and slides down the top section)", "BOOTH: It's the kid, isn't it?", "BRENNAN: (using a flashlight) Terrence Gilroy had a remodeled right ulna from a break when he was 8.", "(She reaches in and lifts the ulna. It's remodeled.)", "BRENNAN: Yeah. This is the boy she kidnapped.", "BOOTH: I'll call the parents.", "BRENNAN: Why did she lead us here, Booth? Why did she want us to find him?", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan and Hodgins are about to start examining the remains of Terrence Gilroy when Caroline stops her.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Hands off!", "SECURITY GUARD: Ma'am!", "(Caroline sets off the alarms as she enters the platform.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: No one touches a thing!", "HODGINS: What are you talking about?", "BRENNAN: This is our chance to get some hard evidence they can't dismiss.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Not if you touch it. You can't act as an expert witness in a case when you are also a victim.", "HODGINS: We aren't victims in this crime.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: We filed one complaint with seven counts. Since the trial started, you and Dr. Brennan are linked to all the crimes.", "BRENNAN: That's why Taffet wanted us to find the boY. She knows we're the only people who have the skills to connect her to the crime.", "HODGINS: And now our hands are tied.", "BRENNAN: Not if you drop our case.", "HODGINS: Excuse me?", "BRENNAN: If Caroline doesn't prosecute our kidnappings, we'd be free to testify as expert witnesses in the boys case.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: You'd be willing to do that?", "HODGINS: Noooo. No. Caroline has to prosecute our case. Taffet tried to kill us.", "BRENNAN: All of our evidence has been thrown out. The rational thing to do is to persue a case with fresh, untained evidence.", "HODGINS: Are you kidding me?! Is it really that easy for you to forget what happened to us?", "BRENNAN: I will never forget what happened to us. Or to Booth. Or this boy. You are not the only one suffering, Dr. Hodgins but your emotions have no relevance. Not if we want to convict Taffet.", "HODGINS: (throwing his gloves on the table) This better work.", "(He leaves the platform.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: I'll have the charges dismissed in the morning; you can start right after that.", "(Cut to: Brennan's Apartment. She's reading through the files when she hears a knock at the door. She looks through the peep hole; It's Booth.)", "BOOTH: So the Gilroy kid? He was last seen at the Rockland Mall on June 23. I'm gonna check all Taffet's credit card records for that day too.", "BRENNAN: Caroline said you can't give expert testimony if she's prosecuting your case.", "BOOTH: I told Caroline to drop my charges too. I'm not gonna let you do this alone. She's gonna see the judge tomorrow morning at 10 and then we can dive in on all this.", "BRENNAN: Thanks, Booth.", "BOOTH: We're partners. That's what we do. Right?", "BRENNAN: If Taffet is acquitted on this count, she can never be tried again. Maybe that's why she wanted us to find the boy.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well she arrogant, like Sweets said. And she's misjudging you.", "BRENNAN: I have nightmares, Booth. Hodgins is bleeding, you're drowning. I-I can't help anyone.", "BOOTH: Alright, you know what? She's never gonna get the better of you, alright? Just know that. Alright? I promise. Okay?", "(He hugs her - she hugs him back)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan & Cam are examing Terrence Gilroy's remains.)", "BRENNAN: These are peri-mortem fractures, bi-laterally on the fifth, sixth and seventh ribs. On the posterior axillary.", "CAM: And injuries to the greater cornu and the left lateral thyroid and cricoid cartilages. I see injuries like this in victims who've been strangled.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps he struggled and Taffet was trying to subdue him.", "CAM: Taffet tasered all her victims - three million volts - that should be enough to knock out a 10 year old boy for at least a few hours.", "BRENNAN: He wasn't unconscious. These are defensive wounds. Consistent with the boy resisting being placed in the freezer; arms out-stretched.", "CAM: I'll take samples from under his fingernails. Maybe he scratched her during the struggle.", "BRENNAN: Maybe she knew that facts in this case wouldn't be consistent with the other crimes and would give her reasonable doubt.", "(Cut to: Courtroom - Booth is testifying over a montage of Brennan & Hodgins gathering evidence)", "BOOTH: We have evidence from credit card charges that the defendent was at the Rockland Mall the day that Terrence Gilroy was abducted. The team at the Jeffersonian discovered that the number Taffet called, turned out to be the same as the GPS coordinates as to where the boy was buried. Same M.O., same ransom tape, same demands as the other kidnappings.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Do you have any evidence that the Gilroy boy was abducted from the mall.", "BOOTH: It was the last place he was seen.", "HEATHER TAFFET: So, no. Did anyone else make any purchases at the mall that day or was it just me?", "BOOTH: Of course they did.", "HEATHER TAFFET: As for the phone call, that I alledgely made, is it possible that the number was placed in my file by mistake?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Conjecture.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Did you know the officer on duty the night I was arrested was from Salt Lake? (This is news to Caroline & Booth) Answer the question, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: No.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Isn't it more likely that he made that call and the number was placed in my file by mistake.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Conjecture again.", "HEATHER TAFFET: I thought it was reasonable doubt. Very reasonable.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Your Honor.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Withdrawn. No further questions, Your Honor.", "(Cut to: Courthouse. Booth is leaving the courtroom when he runs into Max.)", "MAX: You know that Taffet's playing you, right?", "BOOTH: We're fine, Max.", "MAX: No. She's got you all on defense.", "BOOTH: We got the boy, alright?", "MAX: It's cause she wanted you to.", "BOOTH: Every psycho takes one step too far and hangs themself.", "MAX: Not before a lot of innocent people get hurt. I'll see ya later.", "(Max leaves Booth wondering what he was talking about.)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweet's Office. He hears a knock on the door - it's Cam.)", "CAM: Hey. Sorry to bother you. Do you have a minute?", "SWEETS: Yeah, sure.", "(Cam enters and sits down)", "SWEETS: How's it going?", "CAM: I don't know, actually. It's why I'm here. I'm - I'm worried, Dr. Sweets. I - I - this case is taking its toll on everyone.", "SWEETS: Including you?", "CAM: Including me. Yes.", "SWEETS: It's a very stressful situtaion, I mean, you're not immune to that.", "CAM: I feel like everything's fraying around the edges. We're all searching for some piece of evidence that can put Taffet away but we keep coming up empty. Everyone feels manipulated by her and I-I should be able to pull everyone together - keep them on track..", "SWEETS: You want to guarentee the outcome. (She nods her head) I wish that were possible. You know, we knew this was gonna be an uphill battle.", "CAM: But did we really believe that? We all knew she was guilty, so someplace we assume that, in a just world, she'd pay for what she did.", "SWEETS: That assumes a just world, I'm afraid.", "CAM: These...are my people she hurt. My friends. I should...be able to do something.", "SWEETS: I know.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Outside the jail. The Sheriff's Department van is bringing Taffet back for the day. Max emerges from just beyond the fence - rifle in hand. They bring Taffet out, Max aims the rifle. She's in his crosshairs and he's about to shoot when he hears Booth call his name.)", "BOOTH: Max. You didn't think I was gonna follow you.", "(Booth starts runnign towards him when he realizes what he's about to do. Max tries to line up the shot but Booth tackles him to the ground before he can.)", "BOOTH: Max, this is what you want?", "MAX: Don't trust the system, Booth!", "BOOTH: You miss, you compromise the case, Taffet walks.", "MAX: I don't miss.", "(Max punches Booth and goes for his gun. Booth gets back up and punches him back", "BOOTH: When are you gonna learn to stop messing with me, huh?", "MAX: You're making a big mistake; Tempe could die.", "BOOTH: okay, up. Come on.", "(He pulls Max off the ground)", "(Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth and Brennan are getting off the elevator.)", "BRENNAN: He tried to kill her?", "BOOTH: Well, he had a rifle pointed right at her so you do the math.", "BRENNAN: Why, why would he do that?", "BOOTH: To protect you and a career criminal, like Max, he obviously doesn't trust the legal system.", "BRENNAN: Wha-I'm sorry. I wish he were different.", "BOOTH: Yeah, me too. You know, he socked me in the eye too.", "(Brennan's phone rings)", "BRENNAN: (answering) Brennan.", "MAX: (on phone, in jail) Hey, honey. I need you to bail me out.", "BRENNAN: What! No, dad!", "MAX: I was doing it for you.", "BRENNAN: No! I don't want you to kill people for me! Just buy me a sweater, like a regular dad.", "BOOTH: (to Max) Leave her alone, Max.", "BRENNAN: Booth says you're not getting out until after the trial is over. I have to go.", "MAX: I've got a bad back. You know what the beds are like in jail.", "BRENNAN: Goodbye, dad.", "(She hangs up her phone)", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, Bones. I'm sure this is the last thing you want to deal with.", "BRENNAN: Yeah. Part of me wishes he did it.", "BOOTH: Well, not the good parts so let's just keep our eye on the ball. (Brennan nods.) So, any news about the boy?", "BRENNAN: I'm getting an accurate recreation of the assailant from the fracture patterns on his remains and it's a match for Taffet. I'm putting a presentation together.", "BOOTH: The kid, he put up a good fight.", "BRENNAN: There's evidence of strong resistence. Yes.", "BOOTH: At least he didn't go easy. (He picks up a picture of Parker.) Parker, he'd do the same thing. Probably bite her ear off and run.", "BRENNAN: What, he'd bite her?", "BOOTH: Yeah. 10 year olds...it's kinda their thing. Bite.", "(Brennan realizes something)", "BRENNAN: I have to get back to the lab.", "(She runs out of his office)", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.)", "BRENNAN: If the boy bit her, there should be some evidence on his maxilla, mandible or his teeth.", "HODGINS: The teeth seem to have been cleaned. Taffet probably wiped them off.", "BRENNAN: Second left premolar is chipped. There might be some trace in the abrasion, maybe some tissue from Heather Taffet.", "HODGINS: Saliva contains amylase that would have broken down any bits of tissue.", "BRENNAN: Not if it were imbedded between the teeth or under the gum line.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela, Hodgins & Cam are listening to the results of Angela's work on the audio. The audio is still a bit jumbled, but you can definitely start to hear Taffet's voice coming through.)", "THE GRAVEDIGGER: If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last...", "ANGELA: Okay, this encryption is a rolling code split band voice inversion. Individual frequencies between the clicks are inverted and recombined. I applied software that decrypts each of the 423 separate segments until the voice becomes clear.", "THE GRAVEDIGGER: If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further...", "(Audio becomes clear - it's Heather Taffet)", "CAM: You did it, Angela. It's Taffet.", "ANGELA: Like to see her explain away that one.", "THE GRAVEDIGGER: (audio) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die.", "(Cut to: Fade into Courthouse - Courtroom. Angela is on the stand playing the decrypted audio clip of the ransom tape)", "THE GRAVEDIGGER: (audio) This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: And in your expert opinion, Ms. Montenegro, whose voice is that?", "ANGELA: It's Heather Taffet. The frequency and vocal patterns are an exact match when compared to unencrypted recordings of her voice.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Thank you. No further questions.", "HEATHER TAFFET: That was very impressive, Ms. Montenegro. Could you share your credentials with the court?", "ANGELA: I have a bachelor of fine arts from the University of Texas with a minor in computer science. And I've also studied biomedical illustration at American University.", "HEATHER TAFFET: But you do not have a degree in sound engineering, is that correct?", "ANGELA: No.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection. Ms. Montenegro has numerous patents pending from her work in auditory forensic reconstruction.", "HEATHER TAFFET: The homeless man on my street has a patent pending for a time machine. That doesn't mean I'm going to ask him to testify in court.", "JUDGE DUFREY: That's enough, Ms. Taffet. Do you have anything else for this witness?", "HEATHER TAFFET: Yes, Your Honor. I'd like to introduce into evidence item 461B, which is a deconstruction of the same ransom tape by former FBI special Agent Graham Steele, who has a Phd in forensic auditory analysis from the University of Pennsylvania.", "ANGELA'S VOICE: (audio) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications.", "ANGELA: Th-that isn't me. He obviously manipulated the pitch and the timbre of the voice.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Isn't that what you did?", "ANGELA: No. Those sound waves have an underlying pattern of frequency modulation. Like a fingerprint.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Whatever the technical jargon, it seems clear that anyone, even someone without any credentials, can make one voice sound like another.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Counsel is making speeches.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained.", "HEATHER TAFFET: I'm sorry, Your Honor. No further questions.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth walks in.)", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones, you ready for court?", "BRENNAN: Yes. I have a video presentation which shows the victim sustained rib fractures as well as a fracture of the lateral epicondyle of the left distal...", "BOOTH: What do you say we ease up on the scientific stuff, okay?", "BRENNAN: The science gives us the height of the assailant. 162 centimeters. Taffet's height.", "BOOTH: That's...that's..that's good and all, but Taffet's kind of had a field day, you know, trashing the whole technical goobledy stuff. And the jury seems to like her for it.", "BRENNAN: But those are the facts.", "BOOTH: It's how you present the facts that win or lose a case. Bones, the jury needs to know what that little boy went through.", "BRENNAN: I've - I've testified before, Booth. I'll be fine. We-we should go.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Brennan is on the stand, testifying to what happened to Terrence Gilroy)", "BRENNAN: Terrence Gilroy's left greater cornu of the hyoid was compressed, indicating that the assailant strangled the young boy using only one hand--the dominant left hand, in this case.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: I'd like to submit writing samples which confirm that the defendant is left-handed.", "HEATHER TAFFET: No objection, as long as it's also noted that 8% of the general population is also left-handed. Including you, Your Honor.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Continue.", "BRENNAN: The victim sustained a fracture of the lateral epicondyle and the shaft of the left distal humerus. (she looks at Booth) Perhaps I can be clearer. Terrence Gilroy's bones could only have been broken by someone kneeling on top of him as they pushed him into the freezer. The radiating fracture lines show that this assailant had to be between 125 and 135 pounds-- the weight of the defendant.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. This is speculation.", "BRENNAN: Are you questioning my qualifications? Because you will not find a more experienced or respected forensic anthropologist anywhere in the world. So I'd appreciate not being interrupted until I finish testifying.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Dr. Brennan, I'll make the rulings here. Overruled. Continue.", "BRENNAN: Since these broken bones were caused by the assailant's knees and the chipping on the boy's kneecaps was caused by the toes of her heavy boots, we can determine the length of her shin.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: And what is the significance of the shin length?", "BRENNAN: It gives us the height of the assailant, which is five feet, four inches. The same height as the defendant. It is clear from the circumstantial evidence and these facts that this child was attacked with vicious cruelty by Ms. Taffet.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. The jury makes that determination, not the witness.", "BRENNAN: The five-foot-four assailant - crushed the boy's chest, choked him and finally caused him a torturous death by burying him alive.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. Speculation. She can't know what the witness felt.", "BRENNAN: I was buried alive. Which makes me uniquely qualified to comment on its horror.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Objection, Your Honor. This is grandstanding. Unless the witness has any additional facts...", "JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained. Do you have any further questions for Dr. Brennan, Ms. Julian?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: No, Your Honor. I learned everything I need to know. Your witness.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Dr. Brennan, don't you think your trauma as a kidnapping victim prevents you from being objective?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection. She is testifying as an expert witness, not a victim.", "HEATHER TAFFET: She brought up being buried alive, Your Honor.", "JUDGE DUFREY: She did, Ms. Julian. Overruled.", "HEATHER TAFFET: It's only natural that you would want to construct facts that would give you some closure and peace.", "BRENNAN: I resent your implication. I do not let my emotions cloud my findings.", "HEATHER TAFFET: No, not intentionally, of course.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Is there a question coming?", "HEATHER TAFFET: Yes. Sorry. Dr. Brennan, you are currently seeing an FBI psychologist, are you not?", "BRENNAN: What - that has nothing to do with...", "HEATHER TAFFET: A yes or no is all that's required, Dr. Brennan. Are you currently seeing an FBI psychologist?", "BRENNAN: Yes, but...", "HEATHER TAFFET: Thank you. No further questions.", "BRENNAN: No, that has nothing to do with this case. My findings are sound.", "JUDGE DUFREY: You may step down, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: My findings are sound.", "(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. A picture of a dust mite is on the screen)", "CAM: A dust mite?", "SWEETS: So that little bug is gonna save us?", "HODGINS: Oh, don't call him a bug. Sounds insulting. We reexamined the boy's teeth and found it wedged between the right lateral incisor and canine. Dust mites eat dead human skin cells and this one's stomach sac is full.", "CAM: If the boy bit Taffet, the skin cells are probably hers. Whatever's left is gonna be small, but there might be enough to give us DNA.", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Hodgins is on the stand.)", "HODGINS: This is a dermatophagoides farinae.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: For those of us who don't speak insect, what is that, exactly?", "HODGINS: It's a dust mite: an insect found on clothes, but it also feeds on the cells of the person wearing those clothes.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: And where was this dust mite found?", "HODGINS: Between Terrence Gilroy's teeth. It was transferred there when the boy bit the person who kidnapped him.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: And how do we know that?", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Cam is now on the stand.)", "CAM: The dust mite contained human female epithelial cells. We extracted those cells and ran them through several DNA databases. The cells belonged to Heather Taffet.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Nothing further, your honor.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Your witness, Ms. Taffet.", "HEATHER TAFFET: It seems that you have neglected to include a sample of the evidence that I could have tested independently.", "CAM: Since there were so few cells in the mite, the testing destroyed the sample, but the procedures and results are all contained in our documentation.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Let me get this right. I have access to your notes, but I can't examine the actual evidence because you destroyed it?", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Your Honor, in California versus Trombetta, the Supreme Court ruled that the prosecution could destroy a sample to test for DNA because there was no bad faith.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Bad faith? The motives of every single person at the Jeffersonian are suspect and now their only physical evidence is gone. Ff it existed at all.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: I've just about had it with your snide, unsubstantiated allegations.", "HEATHER TAFFET: As have I.", "JUDGE DUFREY: That's enough, Ms. Julian.", "HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, I would like to file a motion to have this unverifiable DNA evidence dismissed.", "JUDGE DUFREY: Protocol has been followed, Ms. Taffet. It's up to the jury to decide how the evidence will figure in the outcome of this case. Your motion is denied.", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers - Booth is bringing drinks over to Brennan - who is sitting at a table already.)", "BOOTH: Did you see Taffet's face? She was completely blindsided. Okay, Caroline's closing...it's going to kill. Alright, so here we go. (they raise their glasses and toast) That's it, huh? (Booth looks at Brennan. She doesn't look happy) Are you okay, Bones? Your team just nailed Taffet.", "BRENNAN: I'm just tired.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Yeah. It's been - it's been a tough case.", "BRENNAN: It's not just the case. I'm tired of...of all of it. I'm tired of dealing with murders and victims and sadness and pain.", "BOOTH: Well, Bones, that's what we do. Alright? We catch the bad people and we make the world a better place.", "BRENNAN: No, Booth. That's what you do and somehow I got caught up into it.", "BOOTH: Wait a sec. Hold on. You were dealing with dead people long before we got together.", "BRENNAN: As a researcher, an anthropologist. That's how I can make the world a better place.", "BOOTH: And you do. Come on. You make the world a great place. Hey. Cheers to that, alright? You're just anxious. Alright? And tomorrow, when we have won, everything will be perfect. It'll be fine.", "(He looks at her, thinking that this time, he may be wrong. Maybe everything won't be perfect - since it hasn't been for a while.)", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Caroline Julian and Heather Taffet are presenting their closing arguments.)", "CAROLINE JULIAN: We are here to seek justice for this 10 year old boy who was kidnapped, brutally beaten and buried alive by Heather Taffet. Taffet was seen where this child was abducted. She matches the size of the assailant. She's left-handed. Her voice was discovered on the ransom tapes.", "HEATHER TAFFET: It all sounds very reasonable, doesn't it? These so-called facts were compiled by people who themselves were victims of a vicious criminal who has not yet been caught. They need a scapegoat.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: But only Heather Taffet could have the DNA that was found in this child's mouth. That evidence was delivered to us in death by this brave boy.", "HEATHER TAFFET: And yet, the only people who saw that dust mite, the only people who touched the alleged epithelial cells were two kidnap victims! One a known conspiracy theorist, the other a traumatized anthropologist who's currently being treated by a psychologist. And Dr. Saroyan, who couldn't perform her job without destroying the evidence, conveniently preventing me from mounting a defense.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Because she has no defense, except slandering these experts. They have told you what Heather Taffet did to that boy.", "HEATHER TAFFET: The law is clear. You cannot convict a person based on innuendo or groundless accusations. I weep for that boy. No child should suffer like that and whoever did this...", "CAROLINE JULIAN: ...should never be allowed to walk among decent people again. For that boy, for justice, you must return a verdict of...", "HEATHER TAFFET: Not guilty. Because it's clear that I am a scapegoat. I am innocent. Thank you.", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Hallway. Everyone is gathered, waiting for the verdict to come back)", "BOOTH: What'd I tell you, huh? Caroline nailed it in there.", "HODGINS: Taffet was pretty convincing in there, too.", "BOOTH: You know what, Hodgins? You ever see the bright side in things?", "HODGINS: You know what, Booth? You're right. 'cause no matter what happens in there, I've got Angela.", "ANGELA: Hodgins.", "HODGINS: It's okay. I don't care, Angie. Look, Taffet's not going to make the rules anymore. I want our friends to know. I want everybody to know. Okay. Angela and I are married.", "BRENNAN: What?", "CAM: Ohh...", "BOOTH: Hey, look at that, huh?", "BRENNAN: (hugging Angela) When, Ang?", "ANGELA: In jail. Hodgins wanted to wait until (Brennan hugs Hodgins) this was over so everybody could be happy for us.", "BRENNAN: This isn't another pregnancy scare, is it?", "ANGELA: No. No, this is - this is love.", "(Booth and Brennan look at each other)", "SWEETS: So, why were you hiding this from us?", "HODGINS: Ah, I was having trouble dealing with things because of the trial. Then I thought...screw it.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: The jury's back.", "(Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Everyone is seated, waiting for the verdict to be read.)", "JUDGE DUFREY: The defendant will rise for the reading of the verdict. In count one, the kidnapping of Terrence Gilroy, the jury finds the defendant, Heather Taffet, guilty. (everyone starts to mutter) Order, or I will clear the court. In count two, the murder of Terrence Gilroy, the jury finds the defendant...Guilty. (Everyone stands up and cheers) The defendant is remanded into custody until sentencing. We are adjourned.", "(Brennan and Booth hug, then she looks over toward Taffet.)", "HEATHER TAFFET: (to Brennan) This isn't over.", "(Brennan looks back at her, worried.)", "(Cut to: Founding Fathers - The gang is all there, having drinks to celebrate their victory.)", "MAX: I was out of town for a couple of days. Well, I knew Tempe had everything under control. She didn't need me.", "BRENNAN: Uh-huh.", "BOOTH: Alright, let's just raise our glasses here. To the squints, okay? Come on.", "CAM: To Booth.", "BRENNAN: And Caroline.", "EVERYONE: Hear, hear. Hear, hear.", "SWEETS: You know, I never doubted any of you- not for a minute.", "BOOTH: Where'd you come from? Huh?", "HODGINS: Oh, come on.", "CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, please.", "BOOTH: Okay, let's not forget the happy couple (he throws confetti at Angela & Hodgins) over here.", "BRENNAN: Yes, best wishes for a successful blending of familial obligations as well as monetary and property consolidation. What?", "(Cut to: Outside Founding Fathers. Everyone is leaving and throwing confetti at Hodgins and Angela.", "CAM: Congratulations!", "(Hodgins, Angela, Cam and Sweets walk away, celebrating, leaving Brennan and her dad standing on the sidewalk.)", "MAX: I guess I'll go home.", "BRENNAN: A real bed is probably going to feel good.", "MAX: I'm sorry that I, uh... that I doubted you.", "BRENNAN: Sweets would say that subconsciously you wanted Booth to catch you so you and I wouldn't have to be separated again.", "(Max hugs Brennan)", "MAX: Smart guy, that Sweets. I love you, honey.", "(Booth comes out of Founding Fathers and joins them)", "BOOTH: Thanks for leaving me with the bill again. That's nice of you.", "MAX: Your fault, Booth. My wallet got stolen in jail.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "MAX: Bye.", "(He walks away, leaving Booth & Brennan on the sidewalk, alone)", "BOOTH: Can't believe they actually got hitched.", "BRENNAN: I know.", "(They watch as their friends disappear around the corner at the end of the street.)", "I have this sense that everything's changing, Booth.", "BOOTH: Well, not everything. Look, we're still partners. Right? And-and Taffet. She's-she's put away. I mean, you're feeling good about that, right?", "BRENNAN: You almost died, Booth. That can happen again. What if, next time, I can't get to you?", "BOOTH: It's not going to happen again.", "BRENNAN: I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality.", "BOOTH: You know what? Maybe you just need to take some time off. Go to a beach. Lay in the sun.", "BRENNAN: I might need more than a little time.", "BOOTH: Don't make any decisions about your future right now.", "BRENNAN: I'm just saying...", "BOOTH: You know when a dentist gives you anesthetic and tells you not to operate any heavy machinery or make any important decisions within 24 hours? Alright, this case was bigger than a root canal. Come on, let's just go back inside and have one more drink. Come on. Just one.", "(He reaches for her hand but she pulls away and goes to hail a cab.)", "BRENNAN: No. I'm tired, Booth. I-I-I'm going to go home.", "BOOTH: Alright. Come on. Let's-we'll get you in the cab. (the cab pulls up) I know, it's-it's been a long, long day. Alright, get in there, alright? (she gets into the cab) Hey. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?", "(She doesn't respond. He closes the door and watches as the taxi drives away. She turns around and looks at him. It's like deja vu. They're back at the beginning.)", "END." ]

[ "The team investigate the remains of a hoarder whose body fell through the floor to another apartment when it collapsed due to major termite damage. They must sift through all his belongings to try to determine the cause of death. Hodgins is asked a favor from Angela's father ( Billy Gibbons ) to try to steal back a car he lost at a card game, although it just turns out to be a test to see if he would do it. Daisy is accepted to go to the Maluku Islands to study a full set of interspecies hominid remains that could be a crucial link in the evolutionary chain. She and Sweets discuss if he should go with her, as she will be gone for a year, but Sweets stays and they say their goodbyes at the airport. Brennan is also accepted to take part in the project, but is unsure if she wants to leave. Booth is contacted by the Army to return as a Sergeant Major to train soldiers in apprehending insurgents, but also is unsure if he wants to go. Later, the Jeffersonian team makes decisions that will have them apart for a year: Angela and Hodgins travel to Paris; Brennan and Daisy go to the Maluku Islands; and Booth goes to Afghanistan to train soldiers." ]

[ "TEASER:", "(Open: A young boy is jumping on his bed in his bedroom. White particles are falling from the ceiling, landing on his head and all over his bed. His mother is in another room of the house.)", "DYLAN: Mom, it's snowing!", "DYLAN'S MOM: Are you jumping on your bed again, Dylan?", "DYLAN: Yeah, cause it's snowing! Come make a snowman with me!", "(Dylan's mother opens the door to his bedroom.)", "DYLAN'S MOM: Oh, what have you done in here? (She glances up at the ceiling to find that it is cracking and raining down plaster.) Sweetie, come here.", "(Dylan jumps off the bed and runs to his mom. She peers at his hair.)", "DYLAN'S MOM: Oh, my God!", "DYLAN: What's wrong?", "DYLAN'S MOM: It's not the good kind of snow, honey.", "(The ceiling cracks and creaks and then breaks apart, raining down all kinds of junk onto the bed where the boy was jumping only moments before. The woman stares in horror as all the stuff from the apartment above hers falls into the bedroom. A decomposed body falls onto the bed and then a skull follows shortly after, bouncing off the bed and onto the floor, covered in maggots. The boy grins.)", "DYLAN: Cool! Dibs on the skull!", "(Cut to: The boy's room with all the junk on the bed. Booth is looking around and Brennan is examining the remains.)", "BOOTH: Who keeps this much junk? Oh, whoa. Wow! Washington Capitals puck from the '80s. That's classic.", "BRENNAN: Victim is male... in his 40s.", "BOOTH: That's all you got? I mean, usually you have just a list of specifics I don't even understand.", "BRENNAN: I'm very distracted.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I bet you are with all the junk here.", "BRENNAN: No, not that. You probably heard about the full set of interspecies hominid remains that were found in the Maluku Islands.", "BOOTH: No, I missed that one. Where's Mypoopoo?", "BRENNAN: Maluku. Indonesia. Anyway, this could be a crucial link in the evolutionary chain.", "BOOTH: Could be huge, I bet. But what about the 40 year-old dead guy here?", "BRENNAN: There are apparent perimortem injuries to the temporal and parietal bones, and the squamosal suture.", "BOOTH: So, he got hit in the head, huh? Let's go see if what hit him is upstairs. And I'm keepin' the puck--that's vintage.", "(Cut to: The floor upstairs. The landlord, Morgan Finley, pulls his keys out of a briefcase to unlock the dead man's door.)", "FINLEY: I tried to get him to clean up his place. He wouldn't answer the door, he wouldn't pick up his phone.", "BOOTH: Well, it's probably clean by now. Most of his stuff came crashing through the ceiling of the downstairs apartment.", "FINLEY: Yeah, you know what'd be great? If it didn't get out that Murphy died in the apartment. Makes it tougher to rent.", "BRENNAN: A big hole in the floor probably makes it less desirable, too.", "(The door is unlocked and Booth pushes the door open. The squeaking of rodents can be heard and there is clearly a lot of junk in the apartment. There are shelves lined with stuff and it is very enclosed, with barely any room to walk.)", "BOOTH: Oh, not one of those guys.", "BRENNAN: What guys?", "BOOTH: A hoarder.", "BRENNAN: This is an anthropological microcosm of this man's life.", "BOOTH: How are we gonna find any pertinent evidence in all this crap?", "BRENNAN: All this \"crap\" is evidence, Booth.", "(Cut to: Booth is sitting on a desk in the victim's apartment while beetles and other insects crawl on the floor. Jack Hodgins walks in with Camille Saroyan right behind him.)", "HODGINS: Oooh, this is a little slice of heaven. Cockroaches, fleas, rat droppings, bat guano.", "CAM: One of those guys.", "BOOTH: Oh, yeah. (A rat squeaks and Booth shifts his feet.) Whoa. Oh.", "CAM: I think I'll be happier downstairs with the dead stuff. (She makes her exit.)", "BOOTH: Ugh, who could live in this stench? Put on the fan there, will ya?", "HODGINS: Sense of smell--it's destroyed after a while. Must be a survival mechanism.", "(Cut to: The apartment below. Brennan and Cam are examining the human remains.)", "BRENNAN: In the Maluku Islands. It's a remarkable find.", "CAM: Better than upstairs?", "BRENNAN: Well, upstairs can't really shed light on the interspecies similarities of human evolution.", "CAM: Well this guy must've been dead for a long time.", "BRENNAN: Maybe not. Hodgins found so many insects and rodents, they could've cleaned the flesh quite rapidly. Anyway, remains were found on the islands which suggest Homo floresienses may have mated with early Homo sapiens. I've been in touch with the organizing committee.", "CAM: Really?", "BRENNAN: That shouldn't cause surprise. I'm an anthropologist.", "CAM: Who's been focusing on murder lately.", "BRENNAN: Lately.", "BOOTH: (From the apartment above, speaking through the hole in the floor/ceiling.) Hey, down below. You might want to check this out.", "(Cut to: The victim's apartment. Brennan is picking her way through the rubbish to where Booth and Hodgins are standing.)", "BRENNAN: Did you find more remains?", "BOOTH: Not exactly.", "HODGINS: I did, however, find thirty-six waffle irons. No syrup, though, what's the point?", "BOOTH: Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Right. (Clears throat and turns on a flashlight revealing a lot of blood stains on the floor.) Behold.", "CAM: I'm thinking cause of death might have something to do with blood loss.", "ACT I", "(Open: The Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab Platform. Intern Daisy Wick, Cam and Brennan are putting the body together to more fully examine it.)", "DAISY: There. A place for everything. And everything in its place.", "CAM: The place for this guy's flesh is on his bones, not in the buggy bellies of thousands of maggots.", "BRENNAN: Dental records confirm that these are the remains of Timothy Daniel Murphy, age forty-eight.", "DAISY: You'll excuse me if I'm a little bit excited.", "CAM: Oh, you have a thing for hoarders, do you?", "DAISY: Oh, Lord, no. They make me a little nauseous, actually, but I have excellent control of my gag reflex.", "BRENNAN: There are two sets of parallel cleft wounds to the parietal and temporal bones, consistent with an attack with some kind of blade.", "CAM: Hacked to death--that would explain all the blood.", "DAISY: Weren't we talking about me?", "CAM: It always seems that way.", "DAISY: It's just... I've been accepted to go to the Maluku Islands. (She shrieks and Cam visibly flinches.)", "CAM: Whoa! Hearing loss, Miss Wick!", "BRENNAN: That is excellent news.", "CAM: Wow, that did not sound sincere.", "DAISY: If it weren't for that letter of recommendation you wrote, I would not have made the cut.", "BRENNAN: Well, I had no idea that recommendation was for the Maluku project.", "DAISY: But it was. This is amazing. I could be referenced in research materials. (She shrieks again.)", "CAM: Whoa! Daisy, you have to stop making that noise. Hacking suggests a crime of passion. Any blade marks on the other bones? (She directs the question to Brennan who seems very distracted. She stares at her, then moves to try to get her attention.) Dr. Brennan?", "BRENNAN: Yes, Ms. Wick is indeed very fortunate. The Maluku anthropological team could influence scientific thought for many years.", "CAM: Perhaps we could return from the Maluku Islands and focus on the murder?", "(Cut to: The Coffee Cart in the park, outside the FBI Building. Booth and Dr. Lance Sweets are discussing the hoarder investigation.)", "SWEETS: Disposophobics.", "BOOTH: What's that?", "SWEETS: It's the psychiatric term for those who hoard. These photos indicate that the victim was a level five hoarder.", "BOOTH: Five out of ten?", "SWEETS: No, out of five.", "BOOTH: Well, things are usually out of ten. They should be out of ten. (He glances up to see that Colonel Dan Pelant is staring at him. It clearly makes him uncomfortable.)", "SWEETS: But level five is extremely severe. You'd be classified as a level one.", "BOOTH: Me?", "SWEETS: Yeah. I've seen your office, your apartment. You cling.", "BOOTH: I don't cling, okay? I collect things. It's a big difference.", "SWEETS: Okay. A level five disposophobic might also be an agoraphobic, which would limit his relationships in the outside world. You'd be dealing with a very small pool of suspects. (He notices the exchange between Pelant and Booth.) Why are you staring at that soldier?", "BOOTH: That's not a soldier. That's a full bird Colonel in the U.S. Rangers. And you know what? He's staring at me. (He walks up to Pelant.)", "BOOTH: I hope this is coincidental.", "PELANT: Most definitely not, Master Sergeant.", "BOOTH: No, I'm not a master sergeant. FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. (He flashes his badge.) Why'd they send you?", "PELANT: I told them you'd talk to me. So far, so good.", "BOOTH: I'm not talking to you. This is me not talking to you. (He starts to walk away.)", "PELANT: We're losing men every day, men who don't have to die and wouldn't if you trained them. Your country needs you.", "BOOTH: Oh, no. Don't say that word. I served my country, Colonel. (He walks back to Sweets at the Coffee Cart, dumping his coffee in the trash on the way.)", "SWEETS: Who's that guy?", "BOOTH: Do me a favor, huh? Just head back to the murder victim's apartment, see if you can pick out any psychological clues from the garbage, okay? (He sighs and exits. Sweets turns to the Colonel who looks at him for a moment and then turns around and walks away.)", "(Cut to: Sweets in a jumpsuit is entering the victim's apartment where Hodgins is still working.)", "SWEETS: Hello?", "HODGINS: Hey. (He laughs.) Look at you, all squinted up.", "SWEETS: (Picks at the jumpsuit.) Yeah, they didn't really get me a pair that fits. To be honest, I'm feeling kind of pinched in my... Wow. Those photographs did not lie.", "HODGINS: Nope.", "SWEETS: So have you found anything that points to the killer?", "HODGINS: No, not unless he was trying to hoard the hoarder's hoard.", "SWEETS: Well, there might have been something of value in all this, right?", "HODGINS: What, you think someone actually tried to take something from here? How would he even know where to look?", "SWEETS: (Looking around, he spies a snake crossing one of the pathways through the junk.) Oh, oh! Did I just see a snake?", "HODGINS: Thamnophis sirtalis. It's a common garter snake.", "SWEETS: We're on the third floor! How does a snake get in here?", "HODGINS: Probably followed the bats, rats, mice, squirrels, and fleas. There's also extensive termite damage, which explains why the entire floor fell into the apartment below.", "SWEETS: Four, five, six fans, and there are air fresheners hanging all over the place, so obviously there were complaints by the neighbors.", "HODGINS: Yep, suspects. I mean, heck, wouldn't you kill him if you lived next door to this?", "SWEETS: (Finds a sword and holds it up.) Whoa! Daisy said that the victim was killed by a blade. Hacked to death, maybe. This could be the murder weapon.", "HODGINS: Yeah, well, you can put it over there with all the others. (He points to a pile of potential murder weapons.)", "SWEETS: Oh. Well, maybe all of these fell on him and it was just an accident.", "HODGINS: Uh, no. No, that wouldn't explain the blood spatter.", "SWEETS: (He sighs.) This is going to be very difficult because everywhere you look, there's a weapon. (He sees Hodgins at the window looking worried.) What's wrong?", "HODGINS: (Glances out the window to see Angela's father standing on the sidewalk outside.) He's back.", "SWEETS: Who's back?", "HODGINS: Angela's father. (He glances over at Sweets who starts walking over to look out the window. When they look out again, Angela's dad is gone.) Okay, I saw him down there. I know you do not believe me, but I saw him.", "SWEETS: No, I totally believe you. The man carries a black cat bone in his back pocket.", "HODGINS: Oh, God help me.", "(Cut to: FBI Interrogation room. Booth is questioning Mr. Finley about the victim and the state of his apartment.)", "FINLEY: Yeah, of course I got complaints--and not just from his floor--from the whole building, from people passing by on the street.", "BOOTH: Why didn't you just evict him?", "FINLEY: Oh, I tried and tried and tried. Look, \"eviction notice for cause, to wit: health, hygiene, damage to the building.\" Here's a summons and a complaint, both of which Mr. Murphy ignored, and multiple filings with the health department, including mold, mildew, dust mites, vermin... And there are snakes in the apartment, Agent Booth. Snakes.", "BOOTH: Why couldn't you have just turned off the heat?", "FINLEY: Yeah, because that would be illegal. He could sue me.", "BOOTH: All this stuff must have made you pretty desperate.", "FINLEY: Yeah, I know you think I killed Murphy to get him out of the apartment.", "BOOTH: Well, you know, the building is rent-controlled. You know, you could have just kicked him out and charged your new tenant double.", "FINLEY: More like quadruple, but I didn't kill him. I went through the proper channels, which you can see-- look. These are the court filings which Mr. Murphy ignored, the last one filed three days ago.", "BOOTH: You sure came prepared.", "FINLEY: Yeah, well, I got to pay for the ceiling that collapsed. I can't afford that and a lawyer.", "(Cut to: Brennan walking toward the Royal Diner then stopping on the corner when she sees Booth and Pelant talking inside. Pelant gives Booth an envelope then gets up and leaves. Brennan continues into the Diner where Booth is reading the contents of the envelope.)", "BRENNAN: Hi.", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones. What are you doing here? (He quickly snatches up the paper and shoves it back into the envelope while she sits down across from him.)", "BRENNAN: Well, you asked me here to compare notes on the murder.", "BOOTH: Right, yeah.", "BRENNAN: Who was that soldier?", "BOOTH: Oh, just, uh, just an old army buddy of mine.", "BRENNAN: You didn't look like buddies.", "BOOTH: What, all of a sudden, you can tell stuff like that?", "BRENNAN: Well, you've taught me to be more observant of human interaction. I can also tell that you're reluctant to be honest about your real relationship with him. (She opens the envelope and takes out the papers, reading them quickly before glancing back up at him.) Secretary of Defense? They want you to go back into the Army? As a Sergeant Major? Wait. I thought you were a Master Sergeant.", "BOOTH: They're just trying to tempt me with a promotion, but, you know, I'm not going.", "BRENNAN: This lists your commendations. You were really good at being a soldier. Why do they want you back?", "BOOTH: Yeah, you know, they just think that my experience as an FBI agent and a sniper in the first Gulf War...", "BRENNAN: You could train soldiers in techniques for tracking and apprehending insurgents.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well, I'm real happy tracking and catching murderers right here.", "BRENNAN: They say you could save lives.", "BOOTH: Course they're gonna say that. It's the Army. They say that cause that's what they want.", "BRENNAN: You don't think you'd save lives?", "BOOTH: Well, yeah, but I mean, anyone would in that position.", "BRENNAN: Not everybody is as good as you.", "BOOTH: I served my country, and I have a kid here. I got responsibilities, all right? I'm not going to Afganistan, and you're not going to the Makapoopoo Islands.", "BRENNAN: Maluku.", "BOOTH: Right. Exactly. You know what? We have our jobs here, right? Yeah.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab; Brennan walking in buttoning up her lab coat when she is called by Daisy Wick.)", "DAISY: Excuse me, Dr. Brennan. If I could just have a moment. And I'd like to preface my statement with a caveat. Your unquestionable brilliance--", "BRENNAN: What is it, Ms. Wick?", "DAISY: Okay, okay. In your preliminary report, you said the injuries to the temporal and parietal bones and squamosal suture were inflicted at time of death.", "BRENNAN: That's correct.", "DAISY: \"That\"-- meaning what I said, or \"that\" meaning what you said? I'll read what you wrote verbatim.", "BRENNAN: That's not necessary.", "DAISY: \"There are apparent perimortem injuries to the temporal and parietal bones and the squamosal suture.\"", "BRENNN: That sounds correct.", "DAISY: How angry would you be if it were not correct?", "BRENNAN: You mean if I were wrong?", "DAISY: I would never state it in those kind of bald terms. Does inaccurate sound better? No. Um, erroneous?", "BRENNAN: What have you found, Miss Wick?", "DAISY: You'll know instantly when I point it out. (They both walk to the computer where Daisy pulls up some images.) Here... and here under 40 times magnification.", "BRENNAN: Remodeling. The wounds started to heal before the victim died.", "DAISY: Which means we have no clear cause of death. And even after your superlative recommendation, I am stumped.", "BRENNAN: Please conduct a histological study of the bones.", "DAISY: Yes, yes of course. And may I ask why you want to do that?", "BRENNAN: There's something funny about the way these bones feel.", "DAISY: Bones have a feel?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Touch them. Compare them kinetically to the thousands of other bones you've examined.", "DAISY: Lighter. My God, yes. I wish you were coming to Maluku. It seems odd that you'd be missing something so important.", "BRENNAN: The histological study, Ms. Wick.", "(Cut to: Angela's office; Brennan and Angela are looking at pictures of the hoarder's things.)", "BRENNAN: The victim's apartment is like an archaeological dig. We should be able to put together a picture of his life from his effects.", "ANGELA: Now, Hodgins is dating each pile of junk according to insect larvae, rat droppings, and the yellowing of the paper. Apparently he's been hoarding stuff for about four years. The oldest stuff is where he fell through the ceiling.", "BRENNAN: Hoarders often organize their holdings by category and value, much like one would find in a museum.", "ANGELA: Oh, so he was curating garbage?", "BRENNAN: Well, the term garbage is relative. The only intrinsic value things have is what we give them. It seems odd now, but in Holland, tulip bulbs were once as valuable as houses. Maybe we all overvalue things that are... essentially worthless.", "ANGELA: Well, that was more than a comment on this case. What's going on Brennan?", "BRENNAN: What separates what I do here from what this man did?", "ANGELA: So going to Malulu is worth more?", "BRENNAN: Maluku. Yes. The murders will never stop, but this find has real, finite value. I'd be able to answer questions about our origin, evolutionary track. It has implications for history, science.", "ANGELA: Listen, you're allowed to make life changes without picking a fight with your old life.", "BRENNAN: But I need a break from my life. I'm worried all the time. Worried that Booth might get hurt on a case, and I couldn't prevent it, worried... about what our partnership means.", "ANGELA: So you want to get away from Booth?", "BRENNAN: No. It's just... I just need some perspective so that I can view my life with some objectivity.", "ANGELA: Have you talked to him about it?", "BRENNAN: The Army wants Booth to go to Afghanistan. To train soldiers in the apprehension of terrorists.", "ANGELA: Is-is he going to go?", "BRENNAN: Even though he said he wasn't, it felt like he wanted to. Perhaps it's all for the best.", "ANGELA: You two at opposite ends of the world? (She scoffs.) No, I don't think so.", "BRENNAN: We have work to do. Traditionally, hoarders have on section of possessions that has a greater value than the others. We should be looking for that.", "(Cut to: Booth and Parker are driving home from Parker's baseball game.)", "BOOTH: Where did you learn how to throw a fast ball like that, huh? You were amazing.", "PARKER: You taught me.", "BOOTH: No! No. Hey, I'm not that good. Right? Yeah.", "PARKER: Dad?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "PARKER: Are you going back to be a soldier?", "BOOTH: Uh, why are you asking me that?", "PARKER: Mom said the Army called our house, looking for you.", "BOOTH: I'm not in the Army anymore, Bub. I'm out, okay? I made a decision to stay with the FBI to be with you all the time.", "PARKER: So... it's my fault?", "BOOTH: What's your fault?", "PARKER: It's my fault people will die?", "BOOTH: No. That's-that's not what I meant.", "PARKER: I want you to save lives.", "BOOTH: Yeah, well I do that here.", "PARKER: No, here you catch people that kill other people. There you would make it so people won't die. Isn't that better?", "BOOTH: It was just a phone call, buddy. That's all. It's over with, alright? I've got an even better idea. What do you say we go get one of those huge, giant, root beer floats that you love so much, huh?", "PARKER: Sure.", "BOOTH: Yeah, alright. That's my kid.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Sweet's office. Daisy is telling him that she's going to the Maluku Islands for a year.)", "SWEETS: Where are the Maluku Islands?", "DAISY: (Opens a book and shows him a map.) Formerly known as the Spice Islands, indicating they smell very good. There are earthquakes and volcanoes, and a number of venomous creatures.", "SWEETS: What about our wedding?", "DAISY: We could elope in the Maluku Islands.", "SWEETS: Oh. Okay. What then? What would I do there?", "DAISY: I know this isn't easy for you, Lancelot. But this is the biggest career opportunity I've ever had, and, like my mentor, Dr. Temperance Brennan, my career means everything to me.", "SWEETS: Everything.", "DAISY: For now. And I know you're not exactly Mr. Adventure, so this has to be difficult for you. But this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. I have to go. For a year.", "SWEETS: What?!", "DAISY: If you do decide to follow me, here's some literature on the Maluku Islands. You were a swimmer in college. There seem to be some lucrative opportunities in the pearl-diving trade. (They look at each other and Sweets sighs in defeat.)", "(Cut to: Hodgins going through the victim's belongings. He finds a plastic envelope of papers and takes out his phone to call Booth.)", "BOOTH: Special Agent Seeley Booth.", "HODGINS: Hey, Booth, I found something.", "BOOTH: What kind of something?", "HODGINS: It's accounting records dated four years ago. They seem to have been neatly put away. Hey, what is the traumatic event that turned him into a hoarder was work-related? I mean, remember Enron? Madoff? Those guys would've loved to have killed their accountant. I'm just saying, you never know what secret lives people have in their past. You know what I mean?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I do.", "HODGINS: Alright, well, I'm going to crate these up and I'll go ahead and send 'em over to you and... You hung up, didn't you? Booth? Yeah, okay. (He turns around and shrieks. Angela's dad is standing there.) That wasn't a scream. That was a yelp. It's perfectly understandable. This is a... crime scene, so, technically no one should be here.", "ANGELA'S DAD: You're not afraid of me, are you?", "HODGINS: You? No.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Good. So now that you're family, I'm gonna have to go ahead here and uh, ask you for a favor.", "HODGINS: Anything for family. Dad.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Interrogation Room. Booth is going through some papers with Elaine Akusta.)", "ELAINE: I can't believe this. Tim and I worked together eight years. The exciting world of corporate accounting.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw Mr. Murphy?", "ELAINE: He left the firm a year ago. I haven't seen him since, but we've talked on the phone, though.", "BOOTH: Do you know anything about these accounting records?", "ELAINE: Well, there's nothing special about them. Its simple receivables, cash receipts. Its office supplies, mostly. It's the kind of thing we take to the recycling bin each quarter.", "BOOTH: Which we found in Tim Murphy's apartment.", "ELAINE: I'm sure. See, this is where it started. He'd take home stuff from the office. It was garbage, really, but he acted like it was gold or something.", "BOOTH: hmmm. The, uh, signature on these documents...", "ELAINE: It's mine, yes. Oh, wait, you're wondering if there's some kind of crooked accounting here? Like I might have a reason to hurl Tim?", "BOOTH: (Scoffs.) Kind of crossed my mind.", "ELAINE: You can have any forensic accountant look at these. They're worthless. Tim had problems, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah, the hoarding. We know.", "ELAINE: Yes. He was agoraphobic, too. He wouldn't leave his apartment. That's why he lost his job. We tried an intervention, a year ago, a bunch of us from work, but he wouldn't even let us in the apartment. I told him he was going to smother in all that junk. But to him, it was treasure. About a month ago, he said a guy offered him $50,000 for something.", "BOOTH: You know what it was for?", "ELAINE: I didn't take him seriously, Agent Booth. Tim was a very sick man.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Autopsy Room. Cam and Brennan are going over some findings.)", "CAM: Starved to death?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Notice the demineralization, particularly in the large bones.", "CAM: But his place was full of food. Not good food, but basic sustenance.", "BRENNAN: The histology report shows decreased bone mass, and a marked deficiency in calcium. He starved to death.", "CAM: After being hacked?", "BRENNAN: Yes. That could take anywhere from several days to a month.", "CAM: So after he was attacked he was somehow immobilized?", "BRENNAN: Based on insect activity, Hodgins says he was trapped under a collapsed pile of his hoardings.", "CAM: Oh, that's horrible.", "DAISY: (Bursts into the room.) Oh, my God! I'm so excited. I just heard the news. I could burst!", "CAM: What news?", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan has been asked to head up the Maluku Island project! Isn't that so exciting? I just knew they were gonna ask her!", "(Cut to: Tim Murphy's Apartment. Hodgins, Sweets and Booth are looking for signs of a missing item.)", "HODGINS: Someone offered him $50,000? For what?", "BOOTH: She didn't say. Just said a guy offered him 50 grand for something.", "SWEETS: A disposophobic has a delusional regard for the value of the things he hoards.", "HODGINS: Yeah, that's what Dr. Brennan said. But she used anthropology speak so it sounded more sciency.", "BOOTH: The marks on this door here. You're saying it's from termites?", "HODGINS: Yeah, there's termite damage all through this area.", "BOOTH: (Muttering.) I don't think so. See this wood here? That is splintered.", "HODGINS: You're right.", "BOOTH: So, uh, door was probably pried open. So, a robbery, motive for murder.", "SWEETS: Hoarder has an actual treasure, somebody wants it, he won't sell, he's robbed, murdered. Yeah, it fits.", "HODGINS: I don't think it's possible to tell if anything got stolen from this place.", "SWEETS: So, Daisy's going to, uh, Indonesia. She doesn't really care if I go with her.", "HODGINS: Oooh. Ouch.", "BOOTH: Sweets, no offense, but you might be better off without her.", "SWEETS: Dr. Brennan was asked to head up the expedition. Will you be better off without her?", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "SWEETS: Daisy told me.", "BOOTH: No, Bones is not going anywhere.", "HODGINS: If it's any consolation, Angela's dad got cheated out of his car in a card game with some bikers and he wants me to steal it back.", "SWEETS: How is that any consolation?", "HODGINS: Travails d'amour, mes amis. The things we do for love.", "BOOTH: Great. You guys stay here and see if this guy's got anything in here that's worth 50 grand. You understand? (He exits.)", "SWEETS: So, uh, I'll help you get that car back.", "HODGINS: Really?", "SWEETS: Yeah. You know why? Cause I'm Mr. Adventure.", "HODGINS: I'd rather you were Mr. Sneaky Ninja Killer Assassin, but hey, a guy can't be picky in the sidekick market, huh?", "SWEETS: Nope.", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Platform. Brennan is examining evidence with Daisy.)", "BRENNAN: The Raman spectroscope uses lasers and light diffusion to measure minute changes in chemical composition.", "DAISY: This machine would be very useful on the Maluku Islands.", "BRENNAN: I've already suggested it to the organizers.", "DAISY: So you're coming?", "BRENNAN: Agent Booth and I are partners. I have to discuss it with him first.", "DAISY: He's probably going to go be a big hero in Afghanistan.", "BRENNAN: He says he doesn't want to go.", "DAISY: Lance said that Booth has the psyche of a true warrior. That it's a miracle he hasn't gone back long before this. Maybe you're holding him back the same way he's holding you back. (Off Brennan's look.) I shouldn't have said that. But sometimes my mouth just has a mouth of its own.", "BRENNAN: We have to determine the precise day the victim was struck.", "DAISY: The day of attack, not the day of death. Yeah. How?", "BRENNAN: I want you to measure the amount of remodeling that occurred since the attack.", "DAISY: Oh, my God, that's genius. You have to come to Maluku. You don't want me being honored by the National Society of Anthropologists without you, do you?", "BRENNAN: Remodeling, Ms. Wick.", "(Cut to: Angela's Office and Murphy's Apartment. Angela and Cam are on the webcam open on Hodgins' computer at the apartment where he's still going through evidence with Sweets.)", "ANGELA: Okay, what I did was modify my mass-recognition program--patent pending--to scan the photographic reconstruction of the crime scene to find areas of comparatively less chaos.", "HODGINS: Awesome.", "CAM: You understand what she's saying?", "HODGINS: Not in the least, but I'm so turned on by her brain. I'd like to see her brain totally naked.", "SWEETS: That's a terrible image. It's just terrible.", "ANGELA: Okay, Sweets, you'll understand this. We have a hoarder. We also have a possible intruder. The intruder comes in to look for something.", "SWEETS: Okay. Stacks of...", "HODGINS: Crap.", "SWEETS: ...crap grow organically, in a way. But if someone came in and disturbed the hoarder's system, then put everything back, it would look different.", "CAM: It doesn't look different.", "ANGELA: Well, it does to my program. There. (She points to a spot on her screen.) Okay, now somebody, not the victim, rearranged that pile.", "HODGINS: Okay, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where? (He puts a camera on a strap around his head.)", "ANGELA: So you're going to go towards the window.", "HODGINS: Okay. Window. (He and sweets start walking with Sweets leading and transmitting on camera.)", "ANGELA: Now turn right.", "SWEETS: Right.", "CAM: You're getting warmer. Warmer. To the left. Okay, there.", "ANGELA: Does anything look strange? Anything missing?", "HODGINS: Yes. There are silverfish eggs here. So something was on top of these eggs that prevented them from hatching. I'll take some samples and figure out exactly what it was.", "(Cut to: A bench in the park, near the Coffee Cart. Booth and Brennan are sitting, sipping coffee and talking.)", "BOOTH: So, Bones, here we are. What's all the mystery about?", "BRENNAN: I've been offered the chance to head up the Maluku Island project.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I heard. Daisy told Sweets and Sweets told me.", "BRENNAN: Oh. I'd like to accept.", "BOOTH: Hmmm. I thought you already had.", "BRENNAN: We've been partners for five years, Booth. I wouldn't make a decision like this without talking to you.", "BOOTH: Bones, look, you don't need my permission. Okay, it's-it's cool.", "BRENNAN: You say that, but you won't look at me. You're the one who taught me the value of making eye contact. So, please...?", "BOOTH: (He looks at her.) I'm sorry. I just... I don't do really good with change, I guess.", "BRENNAN: Well, you're better than I am.", "BOOTH: The pyramids are better at change than you are. (Off her look.) It was a joke. Hey, I was being affectionate.", "BRENNAN: Oh. (Laughs) Will you go back to the Army?", "BOOTH: It's what's best for me right now.", "BRENNAN: I'll only be gone for a year.", "BOOTH: Me, too. Right. So, hey, what's a year?", "BRENNAN: It's the time it takes the Earth to make a full revolution around the sun.", "BOOTH: In the scheme of things. You know, the grand scheme. Just saying, a year is just, you know... it's not too bad.", "BRENNAN: Right.", "BOOTH: Right?", "BRENNAN: We can come back, pick up where we left off. Nothing really has to change.", "BOOTH: No, things have to change. You know what? Hey, I taught you about eye contact, you taught me about evolution. So... here's to change.", "BRENNAN: (They touch their coffee cups together.) To change.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Conference Room. Caroline Julian and Booth are going over Booth's report.)", "CAROLINE: So, here's what you got so far: A crazy hoarder got knocked down, buried alive under his own hoardings, by a robber who stole something that maybe killed bugs, then the hoarder died a little while later, then fell through the ceiling of the apartment downstairs.", "BOOTH: It sounds better in my report.", "CAROLINE: Which raises the question: you usually ad a little spice to your reports when you know your case is weak.", "BOOTH: There was no question in there.", "CAROLINE: It was implied. Connect the dots. (Booth hands her the envelope from Pelant. She opens it and reads.) Aren't you a little old to go off fighting wars?", "BOOTH: I'm not going to be fighting. I'm just going to be training soldiers to investigate, pursue and detain.", "CAROLINE: I guess that answers my next question as to whether or not you intend to go. What about your partner?", "BOOTH: Oh, Bones--She's going to Indonesia. You know what? Maybe it's time to find another, you know, FBI guy and a forensic anthropologist.", "CAROLINE: Yes, on account of you're both so replaceable. You gotta act like a big boy on this one.", "BOOTH: You don't want me to go?", "CAROLINE: No, you go, you stay, that's up to you. But before you go, you clear this case, not just dress up nothing in a nice report. (She gives him a sad look and then exits.)", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab. Brennan, Cam and Hodgins are walking through the lab to Hodgins' office.)", "HODGINS: I took the unhatched silverfish eggs, made a milkshake, and ran it through the mass-spec.", "CAM: To find out what poisoned them?", "HODGINS: Not poisoned, but rendered infertile.", "BRENNAN: Oh, suggesting chemical agents or radiation.", "HODGINS: Radiation. What I found were phyllosilicate minerals, along with some interesting metal oxides, very small traces of vitrified clay and Uranium 235.", "CAM: So, an atomic bomb?", "HODGINS: No, something much more interesting than that. (He walks to his computer and pulls up an image of a garden gnome.)", "CAM: An atomic gnome?", "HODGINS: Basically. Yeah. This is the Fiestaware Christmas Gnome, circa 194`. Now, the uranium was a common ingredient in the glaze on these gnomes until the Second World War, when all production of the red Fiestaware gnome was halted.", "BRENNAN: The victim claimed he possessed something worth $50,000. How much is the gnome worth?", "HODGINS: $50,000", "CAM: We have our motive. Now we just have to find the person who collects radioactive Hobbits.", "SWEETS: (Enters in all black with a ski cap on his head.) Mr. Adventure's here, ready to kick some biker ass.", "CAM: Please don't explain. (Exits)", "(Cut to: An unknown lot with a fence where Angela's Dad's car is being held. Hodgins and Sweets are being stealthy and trying to figure out how to get in and get the car back.)", "SWEETS: Are you sure this is the address?", "HODGINS: Yes, absolutely sure.", "SWEETS: This is pretty extreme, man.", "HODGINS: Of course, because I've got a father-in-law that plays poker with bikers.", "SWEETS: Now, is that his... (Security lights flash on and dogs begin barking and run up to the fence. Sweets and Hodgins run away.)", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Interrogation Room. Booth has a suspect, Rocky DeKnight, sitting down with a gnome on the table.)", "ROCKY: You mind turning him around?", "BOOTH: Why? Why, because the gnome knows what you did? And you don't like him staring at you with his soulful little eyes?", "ROCKY: How do you even know that's my gnome?", "BOOTH: We found it in your basement.", "ROCKY: Someone planted it there.", "BOOTH: Why?", "ROCKY: Because I'm a well known aficionado and purveyor of Fiestaware.", "BOOTH: So, the phone records indicate that you called Mr. Murphy several times during the days leading up to his death.", "ROCKY: Someone on the Fiesta message board mentioned Murphy scored the motherlode at a flea market a few years back. He only bought it for 12 bucks. I was trying to see if he'd sell.", "BOOTH: Mm-hmm. Last time you contacted him was on April 29th--the day he was assaulted--so, you have an alibi for that?", "ROCKY: I went to talk to him. I was going to give him 50 grand. I mean, he didn't even appreciate the gnome. He was insane.", "BOOTH: So what--what, did you attack him with a kitchen knife or a machete?", "ROCKY: No. No, he saw. I pushed the guy, and took the gnome, that's all.", "BOOTH: You expect him to answer, Rocky?", "ROCKY: He already did. He said, \"Shut up and get a lawyer.\"", "BOOTH: Smart. Smart gnome.", "(Cut to: FBI Building. Booth, Brennan and Caroline are walking through the halls.)", "CAROLINE: I need more.", "BOOTH: Come on, Caroline, we got this guy.", "BRENNAN: Cause of death, means, motive, opportunity.", "CAROLINE: What caused the hacks to the skull?", "BRENNAN: We don't know.", "BOOTH: Well, he died of starvation, anyway.", "CAROLINE: The assault caused him to starve. Still manslaughter. Which will get tossed if all I have in court is this. If it's gonna be your last case together, then do it properly.", "BRENNAN: It's not our last case.", "BOOTH: We'll be back in a year.", "CAROLINE: Tight as a drum, that's what I want. And trust me, the way you two are running from each other, you'd better be damn sure of these little trips you're taking. (She shoves the case file at Booth.)", "BOOTH: Oh.", "(Cut to: Hodgins and Sweets at the Biker lot, scaling the wall. A blanket gets thrown over the top and then Hodgins appears, followed by Sweets.)", "HODGINS: If Angela was going to the Maluku Islands, I'd go.", "SWEETS: Even if it meant you becoming a pearl diver?", "HODGINS: Hey, even if it meant my having to listen to Daisy.", "SWEETS: So, what? I should just go? I should just give up my career and my life and my friends and my practice, and go to Indonesia?", "HODGINS: Hey, I'm about to risk dismemberment just to impress my scary father-in-law.", "SWEETS: How are you going to get past the dogs?", "HODGINS: I don't know.", "SWEETS: How are you going to start the car?", "HODGINS: I don't know.", "SWEETS: How are you going to get the car through the gate?", "HODGINS: I don't know.", "SWEETS: How are you going to evade the angry bikers?", "HODGINS: Oh, I haven't got a clue.", "SWEETS: Okay, good plan. What do I do?", "HODGINS: Survive and tell the story of my love.", "SWEETS: This wall is high.", "HODGINS: Nah. No problemo. (He falls to the ground on the other side of the wall and groans.)", "SWEETS: Are you okay? What happened?", "HODGINS: Just gravity.", "SWEETS: Dogs at 3 o'clock.", "(The dogs attack, grabbing hold of Hodgins' boot and pulling it off. Sweets, trying to remedy the situation, starts to meow like a cat. It gets the dogs' attention and Hodgins is able to run toward the car, sans a boot. Sweets continues to distract the dogs and Hodgins opens the garage, turns around and is startled by his father-in-law standing there holding the keys.)", "HODGINS: Oh! A test? Really? You could have done this by yourself.", "ANGELA'S DAD: Oh, sure I could, but family's about doing things together.", "HODGINS: So you sicced dogs on me for nothing?", "ANGELA'S DAD: Well, not exactly, but we should really get going.", "HODGINS: Wow. For real? Okay, yeah. (Hodgins takes the keys and they get into the car, the ignition starts and he looks behind them to see some big biker guys walking toward them and shouting.) Uh... what do I do?", "ANGELA'S DAD: It's been my experience, if you drive at 'em, people clear out the way.", "HODGINS: (Tire squeal and the engine revs and he backs out of the garage. The men do indeed scatter, but they follow them toward the gate.) The gate! What about the gate?", "ANGELA'S DAD: It was built to keep people out.", "HODGINS: They are so gonna chase us.", "MAN: You ain't goin' nowhere now! Lock the gate!", "(Hodgins drives at the gate which opens. Sweets watches them pass, still yowling like a cat, then falls off the other side of the wall.)", "(Cut to: Medico-Legal Lab; Bone Room. It's morning and Cam is walking toward the room carrying a cup of coffee. Brennan is in the room, still looking at the skull.)", "CAM: You been here all night?", "BRENNAN: Wha-- is it morning?", "CAM: Yes.", "BRENNAN: I've been here all night.", "CAM: You find anything new?", "BRENNAN: Yes. These marks weren't cause by a hatchet or a knife. The direction of force is opposite to the direction of impact.", "CAM: What would do that?", "BRENNAN: A propeller.", "CAM: So he walked into a plane?", "BRENNAN: No. A fan. The crime scene is full of fans. (She sighs and puts the skull down.)", "CAM: Are you really leaving the Jeffersonian?", "BRENNAN: Yes. For a year. I can provide you with a list of forensic anthropologists who can do this job.", "CAM: No, Dr. Brennan. You can provide me with a list of forensic anthropologists.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "(Cam looks sad and exits without another word.)", "(Cut to: Murphy's Apartment. Fans are being carted out in evidence bags by techs. Hodgins and Sweets are observing.)", "HODGINS: I think we got all the fans. I really am sorry about leaving you there.", "SWEETS: No problem. Mr. Adventure can take care of himself. Plus, Daisy rewarded me handsomely for my bravery.", "HODGINS: Oh, dude.", "SWEETS: Yes, I am the dude.", "HODGINS: Is she still going?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "(They are standing in front of a bookshelf. A clock is blinking 4:47 and there are travel books on the shelves.)", "HODGINS: Um, Angela's program recognized this as the one area of the apartment that was the most cared for.", "SWEETS: These must have been an escape valve for him, images of a life outside of here where he wasn't tormented by his compulsion and agoraphobia.", "HODGINS: (Pulls a book off the shelf and takes out some pictures of Murphy and Elaine.) Hey.", "SWEETS: Hm? Oh. Hmmm.", "(Cut to: FBI Building; Interrogation Room. Brennan sits across from Elaine while Booth leans against a wall near the two-way mirror behind which Caroline and Sweets are standing. Brennan hands the photographs across the table to Elaine who is teary eyed.)", "BRENNAN: We found your fingerprints on the fan.", "ELAINE: I was in love with Tim.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you guys were together?", "ELAINE: Over a year. I thought if I could just get him out of that apartment, maybe if the sun hit his face, he would change and we could have a real life, so... so I pulled him to the window, and... and I ripped down the curtain, and he lost it.", "BOOTH: You two fought?", "ELAINE: Well, he attacked me, so I pushed the fan at him, and I ran away. But I didn't think I killed him. (Sniffles.) I loved him, but... there was nothing I could do.", "(In the other room, Caroline starts to walk out of the room.)", "CAROLINE: Well, that's that then. They're free to go.", "SWEETS: You don't think this success might make them change their minds?", "CAROLINE: You're a nice kid, but today is a good day for you to grow the hell up. (She exits.)", "(Cut to: Outside the Royal Diner. The car Hodgins helped retrieve is at the curb and Angela, Hodgins and Angela's Dad are standing there.)", "ANGELA: You're giving him the car?", "ANGELA'S DAD: Oh, no, honey. I'm giving him you. The car is just a little something to remember his new dad. Welcome to the family, son. (He shakes Hodgins' hand and kisses Angela on the cheek before walking away.)", "HODGINS: (Watching him go.) That is one weird, scary dude.", "ANGELA: Yeah. So, Brennan's going to Indonesia with Daisy.", "HODGINS: Not talking about that. (He opens the car door for Angela.)", "ANGELA: Well... (laughs) Sweets and Daisy--they're gonna break up.", "HODGINS: Not talking about that, either.", "ANGELA: Booth is going to Afghanistan.", "HODGINS: Not gonna touch that one. (He walks around the car and gets in on the driver's side.)", "ANGELA: You and I will be staying here.", "HODGINS: No. We... are not.", "ANGELA: Oh, really? And where are we going?", "HODGINS: Nous allons a Paris.", "ANGELA: Oh, for our honeymoon?", "HODGINS: No. For a year. Because I have no desire to break in a new forensic anthropologist and an FBI agent, do you?", "ANGELA: No. (Laughing.) I do not. Well, everything's changing, huh?", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: What do you think's gonna happen?", "HODGINS: Not sure. But I do know that we'll be together. (He kisses her.) Ready?", "ANGELA: Nnnhnn.", "(Cut to: The Airport. Everyone has come to see Daisy and Brennan off.)", "VOICEOVER: Flight 362 Jakarta will now depart from Gate E3.", "DAISY: Lancelot, do you hate me?", "SWEETS: No, Daisy. No. (He kisses her.)", "DAISY: Do you think you'll wait for me? That would be really romantic.", "SWEETS: I don't think so. I don't think you should wait for me, either. (Daisy nods.)", "CAM: I've really enjoyed working for you, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: In fact, Dr. Saroyan, I worked for you.", "CAM: We both know better. (She hugs her and then Hodgins steps up.)", "HODGINS: Okay, I made you this chart of all the poisonous reptiles and insects, what they look like, how to avoid them, and what to do if you get stung or bitten, so...", "BRENNAN: Thank you, Dr. Hodgins. I love you, too.", "HODGINS: Wow.", "BRENNAN: Booth informed me that proffering of overly solicitous advice is indicative of love.", "HODGINS: Wow. (He steps back and Angela steps forward.)", "BRENNAN: Angela. (She hugs her.)", "ANGELA: Hey, Sweetie. I hope you find something that just changes the entire notion of what it means to be human.", "BRENNAN: I will.", "VOICEOVER: Passengers on flight 362 to Jakarta needing assistance may now pre-board.", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan, we really have to go.", "BRENNAN: Yes. (Clears throat, then looks up as Booth enters. They look at each other, then Brennan walks toward Booth.)", "DAISY: Dr. Brennan?", "CAM: Oh, my God.", "BOOTH: Sorry. Couldn't get a pass. I had to sneak off the base to come say good-bye. Listen, Bones, you got to be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?", "BRENNAN: Booth, in a week, you're going to a war zone. Please don't be a hero. Please just... don't be you.", "BOOTH: (He steps closer, then reaches out and clasps her hand.) One year from today, we meet at the reflecting pool on the mall. Right by the...", "BRENNAN: ...coffee cart. I know. One year from today.", "(They stare at each other for a moment, then Booth takes a step back and lets go of her hand. He turns and walks away. Brennan watches him go for second before she turns and walks the opposite direction herself. Booth stops and turns around and she glances back one more time, with tears in her eyes. Then Booth turns again and walks away, Brennan does the same.)" ]

[ "With Cam's reputation and career on the line, the team travels from overseas to help her solve the case of an unidentified young boy. The Forensics Anthropology Unit lost much of its vigor after disbanding to pursue personal ventures, and it will take the collaborative energy and knowledge of the newly reunited team to unravel evidence and find closure for the family of the unknown boy. After unearthing new clues in the lab and making unexpected personal discoveries, the team realizes they belong back in Washington, D.C., in \"The Mastodon in the Room\" ." ]

[ "THE MASTADON IN THE ROOM", "TEASER", "(Flashback to the Airport ending scene from The End in the Beginning. SWEETS hugs DAISY, CAM hugs BRENNAN, HODGINS gives BRENNAN the list of insects, ANGELA hugs BRENNAN. BOOTH and BRENNAN holding hands)", "BOOTH: One year from today we meet at the reflecting pool, on the mall.", "BRENNAN: I know.", "(Close-up of their hands separating. Fade to white, then in bold black capital letters)", "Seven months later", "(Federal Coroner's Lab, Washington D.C. CAM is looking at a case file stating the victim is of unknown identity, age, race etc, then at the remains of a child on the morgue table. She sighs)", "(Cut to Kakwari, Northern Maluku Province, Indonesia. DAISY and BRENNAN are walking through the jungle back to their car)", "DAISY: Day 213, found nothing.", "BRENNAN: Well, three months ago we found an onyx bead.", "DAISY: No offense, Dr Brennan, but what we're looking for is evidence of early man, not jewelry that's barely 200 years old.", "(DAISY sees a snake at the back of the car and screams. BRENNAN calmly and carefully drags it out of the car)", "BRENNAN: I find it interesting that I'm only afraid of snakes when Booth is around to be jumped upon.", "(Cut to Quryah, Helmand Province, Afghanistan. BOOTH and some soldiers are hiding behind a car while another SOLDIER is talking to a native woman. When he finishes, they all jog across the street to meet him, hiding behind a wall)", "SOLDIER: She says 2 insurgents, 5 minutes ago, went to kidnap child of NATO interpreter.", "BOOTH: We're gonna allow that?", "(They all smile)", "BOOTH: Uh, Just like we trained boys, a hundred times, all right? (under his breath) Right... (BOOTH dashes towards the house that is their target, the soldiers following him. One of them drops a grenade in the house, then they all burst in, shooting some armed Muslims inside)", "(Cut to CNB Studios, Washington D.C. A JOURNALIST is looking over her notes. Cue to CAROLINE and CAM, backstage)", "CAROLINE: You think you're here to talk about brain damage in veterans.", "(CAM is seated, putting some final touches to her make-up)", "CAM: That's because I'm here to talk about brain damage in veterans.", "CAROLINE: All she's gonna want to talk about is that missing child!", "CAM: (she sighs) I have nothing to say about Logan Bartlett.", "CAROLINE: That's the problem!", "CAM: I have been up all night, going over forensic anthropology and entomology reports. I can't confirm the identity of the child in my morgue.", "CAROLINE: Which is the excuse the Justice Department will use to fire you!", "CAM: I'm good at my job, Caroline, they're not gonna fire me.", "CAROLINE: Cherie, you are brilliant at your job but you do not understand politics.", "(CAM stands up and they both walk towards the talk show's studio)", "CAROLINE: What they want is for you to shut up about brain damage in veterans!", "(Cut to BRENNAN and DAISY in Kakwari, Maluku)", "BRENNAN: If I can't fix this carburetor we're in trouble.", "(DAISY notices some armed native men)", "DAISY: I think we might be in trouble anyway. Dr. Brennan?", "BRENNAN: This is a very delicate situation... If I were you, I'd swallow that engagement ring right now.", "(DAISY swallows the ring)", "BRENNAN: Those young mean are Alifuru. An Alifuru man's worth is measured by how many daughters he has, not sons, which indicates that they venerate women... We have to show them that we're women!", "DAISY: Ok.", "(BRENNAN takes of her hat, shakes her hair, puts on a flirty smile)", "DAISY: (off-camera) What if these are evil, rapist Alifurus?", "BRENNAN: (shaking her hair) Well, in that case, when they get close enough you'll take the little one and I'll get the other two - (she turns back and sees DAISY in her underwear) why are you in your underwear?", "DAISY: You said look like a woman. Should I take off more?", "(Cut to BOOTH in Quryah, Afghanistan)", "(BOOTH is looking around some old houses, he spots the two insurgents dragging a little boy away while his MOTHER begs them in Arab.)", "BOOTH: (to the MOTHER) Stay back! Stay back!", "(One of the two insurgents notices him and starts raising his gun but BOOTH shoots him. The other insurgent raises the child in front of his chest and starts walking backwards)", "BOOTH: Put the boy down!", "(The insurgent puts his gun on the child's temple and keeps walking backwards)", "BOOTH: Put the boy down! Don't pretend you don't understand what I'm talking about! Put the boy down or I'll shoot you now!", "(A soldier has crept behind the insurgent and puts his gun on the insurgent's temple. The insurgent lets the child go and his MOTHER hugs him, crying.)", "MOTHER: Thank you! Thank you!", "(The insurgent put his hands behind his head and BOOTH takes his gun)", "MOTHER: This would not have happened if his father was here, where he's supposed to be; instead of out fighting someone else's war.", "(BOOTH stares at her while she's leaving with the child. His phone starts beeping)", "BOOTH: Booth.", "(Cut to CNB Studios, D.C., and CAROLINE)", "CAROLINE: You need to come home right away!", "BOOTH: Kinda involved here (Cut to BOOTH in Afghanistan) training Afghanis. What's the rush?", "(Cut to CAROLINE in D.C.)", "CAROLINE: Cam's gonna lose her job and her reputation if you don't do your white knight routine.", "(Cut to BOOTH in Afghanistan)", "BOOTH: Why Cam, she's the best coroner in town.", "(Cut to CAROLINE in D.C.)", "CAROLINE: That's right! Now saddle up, sir Galahad, get yourself back and convince the powers that be.", "(Cue to the JOURNALIST and CAM, getting on air for the talk show)", "JOURNALIST: Today I have with me in the studio Dr Camille Saroyan, the Federal Medical Examiner for DC and the environs. Dr Saroyan has an exemplary record, winning several citations along the way. It's an honor to meet you, Dr Saroyan.", "CAM: Thank you. Glad to be here.", "(Cut to BRENNAN and DAISY in Maluku. BRENNAN is fighting with the armed men, using a shovel. DAISY is watching, gesturing and grimacing. BRENNAN knocks out the last one of them)", "DAISY: Oh! ... I think I did a pretty amazing job of distracting them.", "BRENNAN: Try to start the truck, Daisy, there could be more.", "(BRENNAN starts fixing the engine while DAISY sits on the driver's seat. BRENNAN's phone rings)", "BRENNAN: Brennan.", "(Cut to CAROLINE in D.C., backstage)", "CAROLINE: Cherie, I know you're out there looking for the origins of humanity, but you need to get home (Cut to BRENNAN in Maluku) right now!", "BRENNAN: Why?", "(Cut to CAROLINE in D.C.)", "CAROLINE: Because you left Cam all alone and if you don't come back she's gonna lose everything!", "(Cue to the JOURNALIST and CAM)", "JOURNALIST: With all that success behind you, why are you stalled on the Logan Bartlett case?", "(CAM is speechless)", "CAROLINE: Booth is coming, everyone is coming, but we need you, because you are the smartest.", "(Cut to BRENNAN, in Maluku)", "BRENNAN: That's true, I am the smartest.", "(BRENNAN hungs up and closes the engine lid. DAISY starts the engine. BRENNAN gets on the car)", "BRENNAN: Daisy, we have to get home.", "(BRENNAN and DAISY drive away)", "(Cut to DC, night view of Capitol Hill and Washington Monument. Cut to BOOTH descending the stairs to the reflecting pool, at the Mall. Cut to BRENNAN wandering, looking around. She turns and sees him seconds after he sees her, they smile at each other, approach each other)", "BOOTH: Hi...", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN hug. BOOTH pulls away, they smile awkwardly at each other)", "[OPENING CREDITS]", "ACT 1", "(We see an excerpt of CAM's interview on a screen)", "CAM: In the last 8 months, I've performed autopsies on six veterans; four fought in Iraq, two in Afghanistan. All six show signs of brain damage consistent with improvised explosive devices.", "(Zoom-out to the FBI conference room)", "JOURNALIST: Dr Saroyan, why haven't you identified the remains of the child currently on your slab?", "CAM: My slab?", "(We see the \"real\" CAM, sitting at the round table)", "CAM: Oh, that's not ethical!", "CAROLINE: They've started a search for a new Federal Medical Examiner.", "CAM: Caroline, I'm very good at my job!", "CAROLINE: Yes, you are very good, but that's not the issue. They're mad at you for causing a fuss, and they're looking at an excuse to fire you. That child is their excuse. You said your entomologist and anthropologist are no good, right? What if I told you I got you the best? Plus a cop who will help you, not blame you?", "CAM: The best anthropologist is in Indonesia, the best cop is in Afghanistan and the best entomologist is in France!", "CAROLINE: I got 'em all coming back.", "CAM: How'd you do that?", "(CAROLINE starts dialing a number on her cellphone)", "CAROLINE: Same way I'm gonna get you a tame psychologist.", "(CAM is dumbfounded)", "(Cut to a restaurant. We hear someone play the piano, then a sign that reads \"For your listening enjoyment, the piano stylings of LANCE SWEETS\". Cue to SWEETS playing the piano. His cell phone rings. He picks it up and resumes playing)", "SWEETS: Talk to me.", "(Cut to CAROLINE at the FBI)", "CAROLINE: That is no way for an adult holding a PhD in psychology to answer the telephone!", "(Cut to SWEETS)", "SWEETS: Ms Julian. I'm on sabbatical.", "(Cut to CAROLINE at the FBI)", "CAROLINE: Doing what, installing elevators? Because I can hear the music.", "(Cut to SWEETS)", "SWEETS: Rethinking my life priorities. What's wrong?", "(Cut to CAROLINE)", "CAROLINE: Booth is on his way back from Afghanistan and I hear he has major post-traumatic stress syndrome.", "(Cut to SWEETS)", "SWEETS: 'Nuff said, uh, I'll get myself reactivated immediately. (He hungs up)", "(Cut to CAROLINE and CAM at the FBI. CAROLINE hungs up. CAM looks miserable)", "(Cut to BOOTH and BRENNAN sitting on the stairs, at the Mall. BRENNAN is holding a photo of BOOTH with his Army buddies in Afghanistan)", "BRENNAN: So...was it dangerous in Afghanistan?", "BOOTH: Nah...what I did was mostly administrative.", "BRENNAN: Because you seem really very heavily armed in this photograph.", "BOOTH: What about you? Any headhunters or cannibals?", "BRENNAN: Daisy and I were attacked by some armed guerillas but I... I beat them up and... we got away.", "BOOTH: You beat up armed guerillas?", "BRENNAN: I had to! You weren't there to save me!", "BOOTH: Aww... Bones! So, did you meet anyone special?", "BRENNAN: You mean, did I have s*x with anyone.", "BOOTH: I missed that about you, you know? You just cut right to the chase; yeah.", "BRENNAN: I was working...", "BOOTH: Hmm.", "BRENNAN: So there was no time or inclination for s*x or... romance. How about you?", "BOOTH: Yeah... I'll show you. Hannah. She's a journalist, war correspondent.", "BRENNAN: Ho-how did you meet?", "BOOTH: Oh, I arrested her for being in a restricted area.", "BRENNAN: You-you arrested me, once.", "BOOTH: I remember.", "BRENNAN: Where's Hannah now?", "BOOTH: She's in Iraq.", "BRENNAN: Well- Is it serious between you two?", "BOOTH: Serious as a heart attack.", "BRENNAN: Heart attacks are very serious.", "BOOTH: Yes they are, very serious.", "BRENNAN: So... I- I- I find that I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.", "BOOTH: Right. Whoa-hoa-whoa, Bones, where are you going?", "BRENNAN: To the lab!", "BOOTH: Cam's not there anymore.", "BRENNAN: Why?", "BOOTH: Didn't you stay in touch with anyone while you were gone?", "BRENNAN: No. My only contact with the outside world was a satellite phone; and it was only for emergencies.", "BOOTH: Good to know it wasn't just me, huh? So, this way, FBI?", "BRENNAN: (quietly) Okay.", "(Cut to the FBI conference room. SWEETS, HODGINS, ANGELA, BRENNAN, CAM, BOOTH and CAROLINE are all there. CAM is hugging BRENNAN)", "CAROLINE: The reason we're here is... People.... The reason we're here... Hello?", "(She finally gets their attention)", "CAROLINE: Cam here has decided to launch a jihad.", "SWEETS: Wow, \"jihad\" - talk about loaded terminology!", "CAROLINE: Far far above us on the food chain, someone with a cold heart has decided that Cam must be silenced.", "HODGINS: I'm totally impressed.", "BOOTH: Wait wait, what jihad?", "CAM: Brain damage in veterans.", "CAROLINE: The point is, the easiest way to shut Cam up is to fire her, for cause. Tell them.", "CAM: (she sighs) Three months ago a 2-year-old boy, Logan Bartlett, disappears; stolen in the middle of the night from his mother's house.", "CAROLINE: Kidnapped child... The media jumped on it big time, blew it up huge.", "HODGINS: Do you believe this is Logan Bartlett?", "CAM: The media does, and they're saying I'm incompetent because I won't confirm or deny.", "CAROLINE: Incompetence is grounds for dismissal.", "BRENNAN: Well, the size is right for a 2-year-old. The sternum is crushed, that's a possible cause of death.", "CAM: The bug guy says insect activity indicates that the time of death was between six and twelve weeks ago.", "BOOTH: So, useless timeframe.", "CAM: Yeah; the bug guy is not Hodgins. In fact, nobody is any of you.", "BRENNAN: That didn't make sense.", "CAROLINE: So, our goal here is, you people tuck in like the old days, make Cam look competent, so we keep us the best federal coroner we ever had.", "CAM: I had no idea you thought that.", "BOOTH: I'm in. But first thing in the morning I gotta have breakfast with Parker and then I'll go find the missing kid's parents, to see if I can get any information off them. Alright?", "ANGELA: We're in.", "HODGINS: Absolutely. See you in the lab tomorrow.", "CAM: Thank you, guys.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "(BOOTH, ANGELA and HODGINS leave)", "BRENNAN: I am going to need some help.", "SWEETS: Wait, didn't Daisy come back with you?", "BRENNAN: Daisy said that she needs some time off. Who else is available?", "CAM: Nobody.", "BRENNAN: (incredulously) Nobody?", "SWEETS: Vincent Nigel-Murray won a million dollars on Jeopardy! Took a round-the-world trip.", "CAM: Mr Vasiri switched majors from forensic to cultural anthropology; he's interning at the Baghdad museum.", "CAROLINE: Fisher checked into a clinic with a case of \"The Hopeless Vapors\" - Dr Edison took a position in Chicago.", "(CAROLINE leaves)", "BRENNAN: What about Wendell?", "SWEETS: Last I heard, working in a repair shop. Excuse me.", "(SWEETS leaves)", "BRENNAN: What happened? You are no longer in the Jeffersonian, all my interns gone...", "CAM: What happened is you put your own desires ahead of everything else and you left.", "BRENNAN: Are you angry with me?", "CAM: Yes, I am angry, Dr Brennan. We had a great thing going and you just... You let it fall apart.", "(CAM leaves. BRENNAN is left alone in the room)", "(Fade to black)", "ACT 2", "(Cut to the Royal Diner. Morning. A plate of pancakes is served on the counter for PARKER and BOOTH)", "BOOTH: Ah...Look at that, huh?", "PARKER: Dad?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "PARKER: Did you kill anybody?", "BOOTH: Why are you asking me that?", "PARKER: My friends always want to know. What should I tell them?", "BOOTH: You tell your friends that your dad does his duty the best that he knows how. Alright? Someday, me and you are gonna talk all about it, alright?", "PARKER: When?", "BOOTH: Y'know, when you're older; when you're a man.", "PARKER: Are you going away again?", "BOOTH: No. Never.", "PARKER: Because of me?", "BOOTH: Because of you. It's the best reason ever. Huh? Drink your orange juice, here we go; let's eat up. Mm?", "(Cut to a repair shop. BRENNAN is walking between to school buses)", "BRENNAN: Wendell? Wendell Bray?", "WENDELL: Yeah...", "BRENNAN: Oh, it's Dr Temperance Brennan.", "(WENDELL peeks out from inside of one of the school buses)", "WENDELL: Hey, welcome back! Did you find Homo fluoresciensis, in Maluku?", "BRENNAN: No, not yet. Why are you fixing the bus? You are a highly educated and fairly intelligent young man!", "WENDELL: Gotta pay a rent, save up for tuition.", "BRENNAN: What happened to your fellowship?", "WENDELL: After you left, the new forensic anthropologist wasn't based at the Jeffersonian, he was in New York, so they shut down the program.", "BRENNAN: I am very very difficult to replace.", "WENDELL: That you are!", "BRENNAN: I would like to hire you to... help me.", "WENDELL: For how long?", "BRENNAN: For however long it takes to identify these remains; and then I have to get back to Maluku.", "WENDELL: No can do. I, uh, pulled in favors to get this job. Gotta think long-term. I appreciate the offer though.", "(he turns his back on her)", "BRENNAN: How much would it take? Because I have quite a lot of money and it's no use to me in Maluku.", "(WENDELL turns around again. He smiles)", "(Cut to the FBI interrogation room. BOOTH is talking to TREVOR and CARRIE BARTLETT)", "CARRIE BARTLETT: I-I put Logan down at 8pm, after his bath. I read him a story. He's a good sleeper.", "TREVOR BARTLETT: You have a glass or two or wine after that, Carrie, or did you just go straight to the vodka?", "CARRIE BARTLETT: Don't do that. (to BOOTH) Look, I've been sober for over a year.", "BOOTH: So when did you notice Logan was gone?", "CARRIE BARTLETT: He's usually up around six. That's when I went in and he was just... he was gone.", "BOOTH: Where were you Mr. Bartlett?", "TREVOR BARTLETT: Me and Carrie split up last year.", "CARRIE BARTLETT: I-I got custody for Logan.", "BOOTH: Again I'm asking you, where were you when your son disappeared?", "TREVOR BARTLETT: I got family in Delaware, in Dover. Got receipts, witnesses, whatever you need. Missing Persons cops, they got it all.", "CARRIE BARTLETT: Trevor's angry, Agent Booth, but he would never do anything to harm Logan.", "TREVOR BARTLETT: Thank you for that Carrie.", "BOOTH: Look, I'm a father; I can only imagine what you're going though right now. I really appreciate you coming in. There's an Agent outside who's gonna drive you home. Ok?", "TREVOR BARTLETT: What about me?", "BOOTH: I have a few more questions for you.", "CARRIE BARTLETT: Agent Booth... Do you think that the body in the morgue... the one they're talking about on TV... Do you think..?", "BOOTH: It's not very clear right now... If I were you, I'd take that as a sign to have hope. Right?", "(She nods. BOOTH opens the door for her)", "BOOTH: (quietly) Thanks.", "(Cut to the Coroner's Lab. CAM, WENDELL and BRENNAN are there. ANGELA enters)", "ANGELA: Wow...These really are the remains of a child, huh?", "CAM: Yeah. And that about sums up my total knowledge on the case: it's a male child.", "WENDELL: You like living in Paris?", "ANGELA: Are you kidding? It's Paris! Yeah, I get to draw the Eiffel Tower; not dead children's faces.", "BRENNAN: These remains were found wrapped in a blanket in a shallow grave along the Potomac.", "ANGELA: Yeah... I don't know if that's a blanket. Um... Looks like it might have been cut from something larger..? Now the stitching suggests that it maybe it's from some kind of garment; like a jacket or a sleeping bag.", "BRENNAN: What does this look like to you, Wendell? (She points at an X-ray on the screen)", "WENDELL: Root completion of the canines.", "BRENNAN: That plus the fusion of the vertebral elements.", "CAM: You're suggesting that this victim is over three years old?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "CAM: Despite his small size?", "ANGELA: It's hard to be sure in a child this young but, the eye orbits are relatively round.", "(BRENNAN approaches the table to look at the skull)", "BRENNAN: Yes! Angela's right.", "CAM: About what?", "BRENNAN: The round eye orbits. The skull is brachycephalic.", "ANGELA: If I was reconstructing this skull, I'd definitely be going Asian.", "CAM: So it can't be Logan Bartlett. (she sighs)", "(Cut to the FBI. BOOTH and TREVOR BARTLETT are exiting the interrogation room)", "BOOTH: Thanks for your cooperation.", "TREVOR BARTLETT: Do me a favor, huh? Quit wasting your time appreciating my cooperation; go find my kid.", "CAROLINE: Nice man. You think he killed his son?", "BOOTH: I don't quite get killer off of him. (He notices people in his office) Ho-how! What's going on here?", "CAROLINE: Agent Colby is moving out so you can move back in.", "BOOTH: Hm. (he nods)", "CAROLINE: You aren't going back to Afghanistan after this, are you? (BOOTH starts walking away. CAROLINE follows him) Because I told Agent Colby that you needed your office back. Don't you make me a liar!", "BOOTH: Nah... I'm not going back. Something happened to me back there that made me realize I have to be here for my son.", "CAROLINE: You almost die or something?", "(BOOTH sighs)", "CAROLINE: I should know better than ask. Anything else happened down there that you'd maybe like to talk about? A little something-something?", "(BOOTH takes his cell phone out and shows her the photo of Hannah)", "CAROLINE: Ah!", "BOOTH: Huh?", "CAROLINE: I like the set of her chin.", "BOOTH: Right?", "CAROLINE: Does Dr Brennan know?", "BOOTH: 'Course she does.", "CAROLINE: Sort of takes the emotional pressure off, I guess.", "BOOTH: Right?", "CAROLINE: Which means there's absolutely no reason for the two of you not to work together, get the old team back together, catch miscreants and killers and the like.", "BOOTH: Well I'm staying, but I'm pretty sure Bones is heading back to the Moppapuchuy Islands or whatever they're called, to find her missing link to humanity.", "CAROLINE: Well, we'd all like for her to find that.", "BOOTH: Right? Me too.", "CAROLINE: Mm-hmm.", "BOOTH: No missing link there, though, right?", "CAROLINE: There ain't nothing missing over her.", "(Cut to SWEETS and DAISY, walking on a sidewalk. Evening)", "DAISY: You wouldn't believe what I went through to hang on to that.", "SWEETS: I never asked you to give me the ring back.", "DAISY: When I left, you and I weren't really precise on where we were as a couple.", "SWEETS: You flushed me, Daisy. I mean, how- how much more clear could it be?", "DAISY: Just to be clear, in your mind, we're no longer engaged?", "SWEETS: What? No!", "(they stop walking)", "DAISY: I thought about you every day.", "DRIVER: Hey! Get out of the way! (horns beeping)", "(SWEETS and DAISY resume crossing the street)", "SWEETS: Okay, this is very confusing for me; because I spent the last few months trying to forget about you.", "DAISY: You found someone else while I was away?", "SWEETS: Well, as a matter of fact, yeah, I met a few women and... by a few I mean more than two.", "DAISY: I was completely faithful, but I don't blame you for seeking comfort in the arms of others.", "SWEETS: Blame me? You looked me in the eye and told me that your career would always come first.", "DAISY: I was emulating my mentor, Dr Brennan and she was wrong, which means I was wrong too. I was led astray by my brain.", "SWEETS: Well, I need some time to think.", "DAISY: Then you keep the ring. You want us to be engaged, you just give it back.", "(DAISY leaves. SWEETS looks at the ring, then turns to leave at the opposite direction)", "(Cut to the Coroner's Lab. BRENNAN and WENDELL are there. BRENNAN is holding up an X-ray)", "BRENNAN: Yes, I'm seeing Harris' lines here, in the tibia.", "(She gives WENDELL the X-ray)", "WENDELL: These lines of calcified material in the shin bone?", "BRENNAN: Signifies childhood malnutrition.", "(WENDELL puts the X-ray on a table next to him, then hands BRENNAN a pair of gloves. He points at the skull)", "WENDELL: The skull shows...um... I forget what these lesions are called but they're caused by iron deficiency anemia...?", "BRENNAN: Porotic hyperostosis.", "WENDELL: Yeah.", "(CAM enters)", "CAM: Comes from working on bus engines, I guess.", "BRENNAN: Well, anyone could learn the labels, Mr. Bray, but not everyone would notice the condition.", "CAM: Nice! What have you got?", "WENDELL: Well, we won't know for certain until we get a complete histological profile but it's looking pretty good that this kid is an Asian immigrant.", "BRENNAN: By pretty good, Mr. Bray means a better than 85% chance.", "(ANGELA and HODGINS enter)", "ANGELA: Hey! Hodgins found some bug evidence.", "WENDELL: Hey Hodgins what's up?", "HODGINS: Hey brother! (HODGINS higs WENDELL, then looks around)", "HODGINS: Wow! What is with this scuzzy hellhole? And where is my office?", "CAM: You see that table over there? That's you office; and you have to share.", "HODGINS: Huh!", "CAM: If these remains are Asian, that might help explain his size and this is all adding up to the likelihood that this is not Logan Bartlett.", "HODGINS: It's not Logan Bartlett. Cam's bug guy - really not top shelf by the way - says that insect activity indicates that this kid died between six and twelve weeks ago but he didn't take into account the fact that the kid was wrapped up.", "BRENNAN: The blanket retarded insect activity.", "ANGELA: Again, not a blanket.", "HODGINS: Calliphoridae and Sarcophagidae flies are present as adults and early instar larvae... you're not interested in details. Okay. Upshot: this child died at least sixteen weeks ago; long before Logan Bartlett went missing.", "BRENNAN: I think we're all agreed that this is not the missing child.", "ANGELA: No, maybe not the famous one but, this is somebody's missing child.", "(Fade to black)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT 3", "(Cut to the FBI conference room. CAROLINE is closing the sliding door while BRENNAN and BOOTH are inside the room)", "CAROLINE: So you are positively absetively certain that it isn't Logan Bartlett?", "BOOTH: Absetively, that's not a word.", "BRENNAN: Yes, we are certain.", "CAROLINE: So you people come back from the far-flung corners of the earth, out past the outer suburbs of Timbuktu and you solve the case in a shake?", "BRENNAN: What's a shake?", "CAROLINE: Three jiffies in a cha-cha.", "BOOTH: Cha-cha-cha!", "BRENNAN: We didn't actually solve the case; all we've done is ascertain that the remains are not those of Logan Bartlett. We still have to figure out whose remains are in Cam's lab and what happened to him.", "CAROLINE: You are so right, Dr Brennan, how could I have taken my eye off the ball like that?", "BRENNAN: Blood flow is crucial to cognitive dexterity; perhaps you don't get enough exercise.", "BOOTH: We figure this out, Cam has a chance to keep her job, right?", "CAM: That's what you came back for, isn't it? Help out Cam?", "BOOTH: Absetively!", "(Cut to the FBI observation room, where the video of TREVOR BARTLETT's interrogation is playing on a screen. SWEETS is watching it)", "MR BARTLETT: Look, nothing against Carrie. But you got to admit it was crazy to choose the alcoholic mother over the father. It was just a bad decision; something was bound to happen.", "(BOOTH enters)", "TREVOR BARTLETT: (on screen) And I'll tell you something else...", "BOOTH: Sweets! Why are you looking at that?", "(SWEETS pauses the video)", "SWEETS: When this guy looks you in the eye, his expressions reach his entire face, not just his mouth. He's speaking in contractions instead of formally.", "BOOTH: He's telling the truth?", "SWEETS: Yes! Look; see? He expands himself outwardly, in this communication. A liar doesn't do that, a liar pulls in. Not only is this guy telling the truth; he's relaying facts.", "BOOTH: Forget about this guy, okay? This is a Missing Persons case right now; it's out of my hands. What's important right now is, we're working on a homicide. What do we have on that?", "SWEETS: Well, the remains were wrapped, which suggests a sense of ceremony, a loving burial; or, equally possible, shame, which makes sense cause the child's hands and feet where bound with twine.", "BOOTH: s*x crime.", "SWEETS: Hard not to go there.", "BOOTH: Thanks.", "SWEETS: Yeah...", "(BOOTH turns to leave)", "SWEETS: Hey, uh, Booth, can I ask you a personal question?", "BOOTH: Oh, that depends. About you or me?", "SWEETS: Me.", "BOOTH: Shoot.", "SWEETS: Okay... Daisy just wants to pick up where we left off and I don't know whether to...", "BOOTH: Move on.", "SWEETS: Yeah? Like you did?", "BOOTH: You know what? You asked my opinion, right? I'm gonna give it to you; are you listening? Give yourself a chance to be happy: move on.", "SWEETS: And that worked for you?", "BOOTH: Yeah, it did. It did.", "(SWEETS nods. BOOTH leaves. SWEETS stays, staring at his retrieving back)", "(Cut to the Royal Diner. Morning. BRENNAN and WENDELL are having breakfast. BRENNAN is looking at an X-ray)", "WENDELL: If you don't mind me asking, Dr B, why do you keep staring at the X-ray?", "BRENNAN: Because I'm suffering the nagging certainty that my...", "(She picks up her glass and holds it between her eyes and the X-ray as she speaks)", "BRENNAN: ...eyes are seeing something which my brain refuses to process.", "WENDELL: Isn't your brain supposed to be the smart one?", "(ANGELA joins them)", "WENDELL: Hey Ange, you want something to eat?", "(ANGELA sits down)", "ANGELA: I do, yes, but... I want it in Paris. Are her eyeballs and brain pan arguing again?", "WENDELL: Yeah; Clash of the Titans!", "BRENNAN: Got it! There's nearly imperceptible damage to the hyoid.", "WENDELL: Little boy got strangled?", "BRENNAN: No it's not cracked or crushed, it's more like there's a- a hole or a puncture.", "WENDELL: I'll check it out on the actual bone.", "(WENDELL stands up and leaves)", "ANGELA: Sweetie! Sweetie, can I get some attention over here?", "BRENNAN: Yeah, uh (she puts the X-ray down) - yes it's very good to see you. Because you are my best friend and I love you like a sister - ah, I assume, not having an actual sister to use as a control.", "ANGELA: Right, yes, yes, I know. So, um... What is the deal with Booth? Is it weird seeing him again?", "BRENNAN: Not at all weird; very nice.", "ANGELA: Are there any old... surges... of feelings; anything like that?", "BRENNAN: Booth fell in love in Afghanistan.", "ANGELA: Oh! Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry!", "BRENNAN: Why? Are- Are you in love with Booth?", "ANGELA: Well, a little bit but... that's not what I mean. Don't tell me that you're happy about him finding somebody else!", "BRENNAN: I'm very pleased for him. A committed, romantic dyad is exactly the kind of relationship Booth seems to require to be happy.", "ANGELA: Did you think about Booth at all when you were away?", "BRENNAN: Yes I did; a- a few times I actually... dreamed about him.", "ANGELA: Oh, well, there you go! Dreams are very meaningful.", "BRENNAN: I dreamed about the work we do; I dreamed about catching murderers and getting justice for... people who were killed. What does that mean?", "ANGELA: It means you're going to die loveless and alone.", "BRENNAN: I don't follow your reasoning.", "ANGELA: Sweetie, can you please ask me how I am, please?", "BRENNAN: Well, I already know how you are. You love living in Paris and you don't miss murders and violence.", "ANGELA: What I did miss is... my period.", "(BRENNAN looks at ANGELA with wide eyes, then hugs her)", "ANGELA: I hope you're hugging me because you're excited about being an aunt.", "BRENNAN: No, I'd have to be your sister to do that. Oh! Which I am - metaphorically.", "ANGELA: Yes, you better be, because I haven't even told Hodgins yet.", "BRENNAN: Well, anthropologically speaking, women often confide in other women before broaching sensitive subjects with their mates.", "ANGELA: (she sighs) Okay.", "(Cut to the Coroner's Lab. WENDELL, CAM, BRENNAN and HODGINS are there. WENDELL is pointing at an X-ray on the screen)", "WENDELL: Dr Brennan was right, I found a very small puncture in the boy's hyoid.", "CAM: A puncture; like he was stabbed?", "HODGINS: That's what I thought; so, I took a close look and I found...", "(He points BRENNAN to the microscope. She looks)", "BRENNAN: Cellulose?", "HODGINS: Wood. My best estimate is hard wood: maple, alder or ash.", "BRENNAN: I don't believe a stabbing would cause this kind of damage.", "CAM: How else would a sharp piece of wood come into contact with the hyoid?", "WENDELL: Maybe a toothpick.", "BRENNAN: Combined with concomitant damage to the sternum, I propose the following scenario: a child swallows something, perhaps a toothpick; he... chokes, he stops breathing; someone tries to save him.", "WENDELL: The damage to the sternum was from the Heimlich maneuver.", "CAM: What about him being tied up like this?", "HODGINS: Yeah, that mostly looks bad.", "BRENNAN: There are cultures where the binding of hands and feet is part of the burial ritual: ancient Jews, some Asian cultures, including the subcontinent.", "HODGINS: Angie says the boy was Asian.", "CAM: So we're not looking at a murder, we're looking at negligence, or maybe even an accident?", "BRENNAN: Logically, I'd say yes.", "(Fade to black)", "ACT 4", "(Cut to the Coroner's Lab. HODGINS is there. CAROLINE and CAM enter)", "HODGINS: Korea!", "CAM: Korea?", "HODGINS: The boy was wrapped in a kind of polyester fabric which is not legal in the United States; it's flammable. But, it is very common in North Korea; mostly in outerwear.", "CAM: That would explain the malnutrition. North Korea's not famous for its cuisine.", "CAROLINE: North Koreans aren't allowed to leave their country.", "HODGINS: Well, a few lucky ones escape; mainly to rejoin their families in South Korea. There's something else: the twine there that's binding the boy's hands and feet? It's a very heavy industrial embroidery thread.", "CAROLINE: Sleeping bags?", "HODGINS: Yes. Also casket linings, moving blankets, horse blankets...", "CAM: So, we're looking for an industrial sewing operation with a Korean connection.", "(HODGINS nods)", "(Cut to BOOTH and BRENNAN in the SUV)", "BOOTH: That is one sweatshop, an upholsterer and an awning manufacturer. Okay, what's next?", "BRENNAN: Hip-Chun Industries.", "BOOTH: Okay, Hip-Chun.", "BRENNAN: I- I find this reassuring.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: Us! Sitting like this; going to check out a possible crime scene. You, refusing to wear your seatbelt...", "BOOTH: Hey! The going gets rough, you know, I'm not wasting valuable time looking to release a seatbelt catch.", "BRENNAN: Man of action.", "BOOTH: That's right; like a jungle cat! Rawrr!!", "BRENNAN: No, you should say like a flea when referring to lightning-fast reflexes.", "BOOTH: I'm not going to say I'm like a flea...", "BRENNAN: It's more accurate.", "BOOTH: Listen, Bones, we gotta talk about this.", "BRENNAN: The way my use of accurate similes makes you uncomfortable?", "BOOTH: No! Are we gonna put the old team back together again?", "BRENNAN: I dreamed about this.", "BOOTH: You did? Oh! Oh, you mean you literally dreamt about it. Right, so, you're open to the idea.", "IBRENNAN: It's an anthropological fact that in any community of individuals there is a linchpin or keystone personality.", "BOOTH: Uh, the leader, you mean.", "BRENNAN: Mm, not usually. Mostly it's just a... member of the group who otherwise might seem invisible but... when she leaves, the group disintegrates.", "BOOTH: She?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I am obviously the linchpin personality in our group.", "BOOTH: But, yeah- I left too.", "BRENNAN: But after I decided to leave.", "BOOTH: No, you left after I... Alright, the question is, are you back?", "BRENNAN: (frowning) I'd rather go back to Maluku, but I feel, as a linchpin personality, that I... should put my own selfish desires behind the good of this group.", "BOOTH: Great, so you're staying.", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Great! There you go! All you have to do is get Hodgins and Angela on board, right? Talk the Jeffersonian into giving us our lab back and then track down all you squinterns.", "BRENNAN: It's a long list of very difficult tasks!", "BOOTH: Well, it's not easy being the linchpin now, is it?", "BRENNAN: Mm, that's true.", "(Cut to SWEETS and DAISY walking at the FBI corridors)", "DAISY: Did you make a decision about the ring?", "SWEETS: Daisy, when Dr Brennan goes back to Maluku, are you going with her?", "DAISY: Definitely not!", "SWEETS: Really? (he leaves a file on a desk)", "DAISY: I don't like snakes. Or being away from... people. Lance, please don't keep me hanging, are we together or not?", "SWEETS: Well, we're not engaged.", "DAISY: So you're keeping the ring?", "SWEETS: I'm keeping the ring.", "DAISY: Would you like to still be friends?", "SWEETS: Yes!", "DAISY: Well, that doesn't work for me!", "SWEETS: I'm sorry but I'm just not the same guy I was when you left me holding my crushed heart in my hands.", "(They stop I front of the elevators)", "DAISY: I know. You wear hats now, and a cute little beard.", "SWEETS: So... I guess this is goodbye then.", "DAISY: You'll always be my Lancelot. You'll always be the one that got away, after I threw the one that got away back - but perhaps the sequence of events isn't all that important.", "SWEETS: It is to me. Bye Daisy.", "DAISY: Bye Lance.", "(They kiss briefly, supposedly to say goodbye. They look at each other, then start kissing again, more passionately. The elevator doors open and the agents inside stare at them)", "(Cut to Hip-Chun Industries. BRENNAN and BOOTH are talking with the boss, PATRICK PARK)", "PATRICK PARK: My parents emigrated from South Korea at the end of the Korean War, but I'm an American citizen.", "BRENNAN: Do you employ anyone from... North Korea?", "PATRICK PARK: Yes; an old friend of my father's and his granddaughter escaped to South Korea so we sponsored them. We cleared out a small apartment for them.", "BOOTH: They work for you here?", "PATRICK PARK: Yes; the, uh, the old man does minor carpentry and repairs and- and the granddaughter is... right there. (he points to both of them)", "BOOTH: Does she have a child around three years old?", "PATRICK PARK: Yes she did but she decided to send him back to his father in South Korea. I gotta tell you, I think she regrets that. And both of them are really screwed up about it.", "(BRENNAN and BOOTH look at each other)", "(Cut to the house of the Korean immigrants, KANG MI CHA nad KANG KYU BOK. BOOTH and BRENNAN are with them)", "BOOTH: (to the woman) You know why I'm here.", "KANG MI CHA: I not speak very good English.", "BOOTH: Oh you're doing a really, really good job. Uh, pleased to meet you, sir.", "(BRENNAN starts walking further inside the house)", "BOOTH: You understand, though, why I'm here.", "(KANG KYU BOK and KANG MI CHA speak in Korean)", "BOOTH: Mr. Park says that you have a- a child. (she nods) Three years old? (she nods again) Um- where is he?", "(KANG KYU BOK and KANG MI CHA speak in Korean again)", "BOOTH: Myung Dae; is that your boy's name, Myung Dae?", "KANG MI CHA: I send Myung Dae back to Korea.", "(KANG KYU BOK asks something in Korean)", "(BRENNAN checks the child's wooden cot, takes a wooden screw out of it fairly easily)", "BRENNAN: Booth...?", "BOOTH: But we know what happened. Myung Dae choked on a wooden screw.", "BRENNAN: We know it was an accident; that you tried to save him. But he died.", "(KANG MI CHA starts sobbing)", "BOOTH: You wrapped him up in a blanket that you made from your jacket and you buried him with as much love as you could.", "(KANG MI CHA hugs KANG KYU BOK, crying)", "(Fade to black)", "ACT 5", "(Cut to the Founding Fathers, evening. CAM, BOOTH and BRENNAN are having drinks)", "CAM: They were so afraid of the authorities that they buried the child themselves?", "BOOTH: Y' know, the States, they seem like heaven to them. I mean, they... they probably thought they were going to be executed or even worse, sent back to North Korea.", "BRENNAN: What will happen to them?", "BOOTH: Ah, you know, knowing Caroline, she probably won't even charge 'em. Caroline is a nice person... underneath the whole... you know, not nice... thing.", "CAM: I'm afraid I have to agree, she got everybody back here to save my job.", "BOOTH: Why do we only solve crimes when we have a dead body?", "CAM: Seriously? Because I'm a pathologist and she's a forensic anthropologist? Fresh dead, long-time dead?", "BOOTH: I was thinking about Logan Bartlett.", "BRENNAN: The missing boy?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I checked out the Missing Persons investigation into the father and... The dad buys a car three days after the son disappeared. What kind of father does that?", "(Cut to a park's playground. Morning. BRENNAN and BOOTH are in the SUV with CARRIE BARTLETT)", "BOOTH: Mrs. Bartlett, you know that this is a long shot, right?", "CARRIE BARTLETT: You told me to have hope. This is me hoping.", "BRENNAN: If it's such a long shot then why did we bring her?", "CARRIE BARTLETT: This is the only park near where Trevor's brother lives. Logan loved it.", "BOOTH: Well, just don't get your hopes up too much, alright?", "BRENNAN: Oh, I believe she should get her hopes up.", "BOOTH: Bones, why?", "(BRENNAN points outside. TREVOR BARTLETT is putting a child on the ground to play. BOOTH gets out of the SUV. So does BRENNAN and CARRIE BARTLETT)", "BOOTH: Mrs. Bartlett, please stay in the car.", "CARRIE BARTLETT: That's Logan! Trevor dyed his hair but that's Logan!", "BOOTH: You just have to trust me, okay?", "CARRIE BARTLETT: Oh, he's not dead; I thought he was dead, oh my God!", "BOOTH: Just trust me.", "(TREVOR BARTLETT is dialing a number on his cell phone)", "BRENNAN: The man is ignoring his child. Why would he do that if he loves him so much?", "BOOTH: He doesn't love him; he kidnapped him to hurt his wife.", "BRENNAN: I find I would like to strike him!", "BOOTH: Oh, let's hope he runs, right; then I'll take him down like a flea. Alright? So, when I get between Logan and the dad you make sure that you get Mrs. Bartlett to the child. Alright?", "(BOOTH starts approaching TREVOR BARTLETT. The guy notices him and starts running away, but BOOTH catches him and they both fall to the ground. BRENNAN and CARRIE BARTLETT run to the LOGAN BARTLETT)", "BRENNAN: Logan! Hi! Hi, how are you? (LOGAN smiles) I have found someone.", "(CARRIE BARTLETT hugs LOGAN. BOOTH handcuffs TREVOR BARTLETT and gives a thumbs-up to BRENNAN)", "CARRIE BARTLETT: Missed you! I missed you! Baby! (she sobs)", "(Cut to the Royal Diner. HODGINS and ANGELA are entering)", "HODGINS: Oh, you wanna stay? Here? In DC?", "ANGELA: I think it would be good if we had the baby here, in the States.", "HODGINS: A baby! Our baby! 9they sit next to the counter) Still sounds so weird; we're gonna have a baby! We're gonna stay in the States, to have our baby.", "ANGELA: Yeah, all that wine in France is now totally wasted on me. (to the waitress) Tea, please. (to HODGINS) Why did you suddenly get quiet?", "HODGINS: Oh, because I am so happy!", "ANGELA: Okay; so you don't mind then.", "HODGINS: Are you kidding? This is the greatest news I've ever gotten.", "ANGELA: No. No, I mean about- about staying in the States.", "HODGINS: Mind? Angie, I only love Paris because you love Paris, but... catching bad guys, that's what I'm made for. You're not... doing this for me?", "ANGELA: You mean the way you went to Paris for me? No I'm- I'm doing it for the baby.", "HODGINS: The baby! We're gonna have a baby. I'm gonna be a dad.", "ANGELA: You know what else I've been realizing too, is that we are actually the glue that holds the whole clattery operation together.", "HODGINS: A baby. I'm gonna be a daddy.", "ANGELA: Okay. Alright, we'll finish this conversation when you have your brain back. I think that we should also- we should just keep it between us until past the first trimester, okay?", "(HODGINS nods and starts tearing up)", "ANGELA: Oh... If you cry... Don't cry, if you cry then I'm gonna start crying and then...", "(Cut to the Founding Fathers. Evening. CAROLINE, BRENNAN and BOOTH are having drinks. They're clinking their glasses)", "CAROLINE: The whole Scooby Gang is coming back.", "BOOTH: That's right, we're back!", "CAROLINE: That's how it should be. You got something magic, you don't scatter it to the ins of the earth; you concentrate it in one place. There isn't a single normal law enforcement officer who could work with these people.", "(BOOTH's phone starts ringing)", "BOOTH: I'm the linchpin, okay, I'm the linchpin! (he answers the phone) Booth!", "CAROLINE: What are you staring at?", "BRENNAN: It's you!", "CAROLINE: What's \"me\"?", "BRENNAN: You are the linchpin! You managed to get us all back here and then you fixed it so we'd stay!", "CAROLINE: I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Thank you.", "CAROLINE: You're welcome.", "BRENNAN: I find I'd like to hug you.", "(BRENNAN starts to hug CAROLINE but she backs off, looking at her incredulously. BOOTH returns)", "BOOTH: Cam's back to the Jeffersonian. Uh- why are you staring at Bones like that?", "CAROLINE: I prefer you don't leave us alone, together.", "BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Why? What'd you do?", "(BRENNAN shrugs)", "(Cut to the entrance of the Medico-Legal Lab, at the Jeffersonian. CAM unlocks the sliding doors and her, BRENNAN BOOTH, DAISY, SWEETS, ANGELA, HODGINS and CAROLINE enter)", "CAM: Well, I think we should thank Dr Brennan for insisting that the Jeffersonian reform a forensic unit on the premises.", "BRENNAN: And we should recognize that Booth's return to duty at the FBI means that we can work with him again.", "BOOTH: So how come I'm not the linchpin here? I'm the linchpin.", "CAM: I would like to say thanks personally, to all of you for dropping everything you were doing...", "SWEETS: ...fighting wars.", "WENDELL: ...searching for the origins of humanity.", "DAISY: ...and totally failing!", "ANGELA: ...making beautiful music for shoppers...", "CAM: You are all my true friends; and I won't forget it. But, let there be no mistake, I am the boss and I am in charge.", "(CAM turns on the lights. We see a pre-historic mastodon exhibit on the forensic platform, part of an exhibition taking place in the area.)", "CAM: Oh! That's really gonna get in the way!", "(Everybody is staring at it with their mouths agape)", "CAROLINE: Totally not my problem!", "(CAROLINE leaves)", "HODGINS: Uh... I- I have an announcement to make.", "ANGELA: Oh, yeah, yes-", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: Yes, he does, um- we're- we're gonna go home! So... okay?", "HODGINS: No, Iet-", "(ANGELA and HODGINS leave)", "CAM: I'm going for drinks.", "WENDELL: I'm with you!", "(CAM and WENDELL leave)", "DAISY: Oh, can Sweets and I come? I mean, not together, just at the same time, cause we're not together anymore, right?", "SWEETS: Right.", "DAISY: I won't sit next to you! I promise.", "(SWEETS and DAISY leave)", "BRENNAN: Did you see how happy Hodgins was, to be back at work? I'm definitely doing the right thing.", "BOOTH: Okay, I think there's a little more going out there, Bones. Wow! Okay... That thing is really big!", "BRENNAN: It's a lot to work around.", "BOOTH: Uh, we've worked around bigger. Metaphorically speaking.", "BRENNAN: Metaphorically.", "BOOTH: Welcome home, Bones.", "BRENNAN: Thank you! Welcome home, Booth.", "(They glance sideways at each other. Fade to black)", "END." ]

[ "When the remains of a couple are discovered in a cave at National Park, the team must piece together the identity of the man and the woman as well as solve the crime. After interrogating two viable suspects, the team identifies the woman as a marketing executive who also served as her partner's AA sponsor, providing clues that lead them to expose the truth. Meanwhile, Booth's girlfriend and Afghanistan war correspondent, Hannah Burley, makes a surprise visit. After meeting Burley and sensing the couple's genuine happiness, Brennan re-evaluates her own relationship with Booth, and he tries to teach her that love is not always logical." ]

[ "TEASER", "(Open: Daytime. Taylor National Park. A couple - TRACEY and MICHAEL are pushing through the trees.)", "TRACEY: We're lost. We're totally lost.", "MICHAEL: We're fine, Tracey.", "TRACEY: I told you hiking was crazy. We should have just bought plaid shirts and gone to a resort.", "MICHAEL: We'll hit the trail as long as we keep heading west and we're heading west.", "(They stop.)", "TRACEY: You don't know that Michael.", "MICHAEL: Tracey that's the sun so that's south and that's west.", "TRACEY: That's what you say.", "MICHAEL: Its not my opinion. It has to do with the position of the sun.", "TRACEY: Oh please this whole direction thing is totally arbitrary. We're lost and we're gonna to die out here. (She is growing hysterical.) And they're gonna find our bones one day and I hate you.", "MICHAEL: Yeah you know what, just follow me or they will find your bones because I'll kill you. Now come on. (He marches off.)", "(He stops and sighs. It has started to rain.)", "MICHAEL: Great!", "(Thunder rumbles.)", "TRACEY: God. Its starting to rain.", "MICHAEL: Look there's a cave over there.", "TRACEY: A cave?", "MICHAEL: Look if you don't like it then stay out here. (Heads for the cave.)", "TRACEY: Well don't leave me all alone. (follows after him, they both stop in the mouth of the cave and stare inside) Oh we are so totally gonna die. b*st*rd.", "MICHAEL: We are not gonna die. (Gets out flashlight)", "TRACEY: Says you.", "(Flashlight ghosts over the walls, there's one corpse, then another.)", "MICHAEL: Oh my God, we're totally gonna die.", "(He runs away, she screams rooted to the spot then runs after him)", "(CUT TO: SPECIAL AGENT SEELEY BOOTH and DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN trekking through the woods, daytime following after PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT)", "BRENNAN: So, have you talked to Hannah since you got back?", "BOOTH: Oh yeah, a couple of times. She said she's waiting for her new assignment, probably in Southern Iraq.", "BRENNAN: I find it novelist that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Do you understand what she's saying?", "BOOTH: Just nod.", "BRENNAN: What... but I'm just saying that you wanted to fall in love and you did in Afghanistan/", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: You were in Afghanistan?", "BOOTH: Yeah I just got back.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Ah. I was stationed as a Staff Sergeant in Kandahar, I served with my brother in '04.", "BOOTH: I am, well I was a Ranger.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Well, you guys are awesome. My brother didn't make it back.", "BOOTH: Oh. Sorry.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: It was worse for his wife and kid. I take care of them now. Sorry I didn't mean to bring this down. You were er, saying something about a woman you left behind.", "BOOTH: Oh, I didn't leave her behind. It was her decision to stay.", "BRENNAN: Well, maybe you didn't really love her.", "BOOTH: No I do. I do love her. (Desperate to change the subject) So is this the cave then?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah, this is it.", "(CUT TO: INTERIOR OF CAVE. Close up on remains, BRENNAN is crouched inspecting them)", "BRENNAN: This one is a male - late twenties early thirties. This is a female same approximate age", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Its kinda sad, the way they're holding each other, right?", "BOOTH: (Poised to take notes.) Yeah what happened there, Bones?", "BRENNAN: Multiple fractures, more severe on the female. It appears they've been bludgeoned.", "BOOTH: (Groans) its like he couldn't let her go.", "BRENNAN: It would appear that way. It wouldn't make any comparisons with your current situation", "BOOTH: Oh, oh thanks for that. Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Maggots and other insect activity seem to have cleaned the bodies of tissue. Some of the bone on the skull as well", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah, that'll happen pretty fast out here.", "BRENNAN: Well it makes determining the time of death more difficult. I'll need the remains transported back to the Jeffersonian along with the rocks and the surrounding soil.", "BOOTH: Right. Maybe you could lead the forensics team, Sarge, so nobody gets lost.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Alright. Lets go.", "(BRENNAN and BOOTH make their way out of the CAVE)", "BRENNAN: Careful of your head.", "BOOTH: Yeah don't worry.", "(Close up on remains)", "(CUT TO: THE DINER. Daytime)", "BOOTH: So the forensics team said the remains should be in the lab in a couple of hours.", "BRENNAN: It seems like we were never away from each other doesn't it?", "BOOTH: Yeah. You okay with that?", "BRENNAN: Of course. Why?", "BOOTH: Why? Because seven months ago you said you didn't want to be surround by the crime and death and sadness.", "BRENNAN: Well I needed time to rationally access the best use of my considerable skills. Factoring in that we have such a strong and mutually beneficial relationship I concluded that I could be most useful solving crimes.", "BOOTH: Right. So your happy to be working together?", "BRENNAN: That's what I just said.", "BOOTH: Great!", "BRENNAN: Me too. (Everything is not great) So, do you miss her?", "BOOTH: Yeah of course I do. (He's uncomfortable talking about it)", "BRENNAN: Well, if there's anything that I can do...", "BOOTH: Yeah. I didn't leave Hannah you know, I had to come back because of Parker.", "BRENNAN: I know.", "BOOTH: I couldn't ask her to leave anymore than she could get me to stay.", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry I brought it up.", "(BOOTH sees something out of the window - there crossing the street is a casually dressed blonde that he recognizes)", "BOOTH: Oh my God! (He get up, the blonde walks in] Hannah! Hey! What are you doing here? (He's so excited, so happy)", "HANNAH: We can talk in a minute. (She grabs him and kisses him) I put in a request to be assigned to the Washington press core.", "BOOTH: That's something you said you'd never do.", "HANNAH: That was before I realized how much I hated waking up alone. (They kiss again. BRENNAN walks up)", "BRENNAN: Hello.(She interrupts their kissing. BOOTH is annoyed, HANNAH a little shocked) I'm Temperance Brennan.", "HANNAH: Ah. I've heard a lot about you. Hannah Burley.", "BRENNAN: I assumed.", "(BOOTH has big grin on his face - its awkward)", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "(HANNAH squeals and kisses him again - BRENNAN stands by and watches brave faced, pained)", "(OPENING CREDITS)", "(CUT TO: Medico-Legal Lab; Platform. DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN, DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN, DR. CLARK EDDISON and ANGELA MONTENEGROCOLIN FISHER hover over first victim, DR. JACK HODGINS over the second victim)", "CLARK: I was passed over for a promotion in Chicago; when I heard Dr Brennan was back I jumped at the chance to work here again.", "BRENNAN: That shows excellent judgment. Most of the fractures on the female are localized to the left posterior side.", "CLARK: You know, there are multiple breaks on the femur, pelvis, vertebrae-", "CAM: (Interrupting) So what was it like to meet Hannah?", "BRENNAN: Oh, she seems very pleasant and attractive. Her face fits comfortably within the golden ratio.", "HODGINS: So, you guys did math together? (Joins them by the first victim)", "BRENNAN: No. The golden ratio is a formula that determines beauty - one to one point six one eight. For instance, the width of the mouth to the width of the cheeks-", "ANGELA: So, she's hot?", "CLARK: (Interrupting) I see some, uh, particulates here Dr. Hodgins, you know if we still care about finding out what happened to these poor people.", "CAM: I just assumed that when you guys got back for your trip that you'd be a real couple.", "BRENNAN: We were never a couple.", "CLARK: Dr Saroyan you assured me that you would try to keep this work place professional.", "CAM: And I will Dr Eddison.", "ANGELA: No, no, no. You were a couple. You just weren't having s*x. Were you jealous.", "(CLARK rolls his eyes and backs away)", "BRENNAN: Of course not. I'm happy for booth. Why would I be jealous?", "CLARK: (Is leaning over the second victim. He snaps, exasperated) Because its obvious you and Agent Booth were attracted to each other, I mean even a blind man could see that. I just couldn't understand why you two did rip each others clothes off. (All the Squints turn to stare) I mean just get all butt naked and (He realizes what he's saying, he turns around) Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Er. Um. Er. I'm sorry. Er... It just popped out. Okay. You guys weren't focusing.", "HODGINS: Dude, (He leans over conspiratorially) A little self control.", "(Clark doesn't know what to say. Angela is totally amused, she knew he wasn't as straight laced as he seemed.)", "(CUT TO FBI BUILDING. DAYTIME HANNAH and BOOTH are walking through the halls)", "HANNAH: I hitched a ride on a C130-", "BOOTH: -Oh.", "HANNAH: -Coming back from Baghdad. We got fired on twice. I was sitting next to some guy from AP who wet his fatigues.", "BOOTH: [chuckles.] I just can't believe that you're here. Its so strange.", "HANNAH: Truthfully baby neither can I.", "(ENTERS BOOTH'S OFFICE)", "BOOTH: So, are you sure that working for the press core it going to be exciting enough for you?", "HANNAH: I'll make sure it is.", "BOOTH: God I missed you. (They kiss) Mmm. I wish I could take some time off but we're in the middle of a double homicide.", "HANNAH: Forget it. We have all the time in the world now. They put me up at the DuPont Hotel, call me when your free.", "BOOTH: Alright. DuPont. The place is a dump. Alright listen, I'll stop by later, here's my key to my place. What you got to do is get it in there, move it left instead of right and when you here the lock pop give it a kick", "HANNAH: That sounds filthy (They kiss, they are interrupted by a knock, break apart embarrassed) See you later.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Sorry is this a bad time?", "BOOTH: No come on in. How can I help you?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Thought your girl was still in Afghanistan?", "BOOTH: Ah, well, she surprised me.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Explains the grin. I'll make this quick. A guy I work with told me about another murder out there almost ten years ago, some squatter who lived out in the woods, he went out after someone he thought was trespassing", "BOOTH: On federal land?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah, well the squatter didn't recognize the federal government. Anyway, he beat this guy so bad he died. I just wanted to give you a copy of the original file.", "BOOTH: Why didn't you just call me?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah I coulda. When I heard we were both combat vets, I guess I wanted in a little more action than I get in the park.", "BOOTH: You know, look, we both have our jurisdictions. I can't authorize you too...", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah, I was... I just thought that... Nah, I understand. You're right. Sorry.", "BOOTH: Tell you what, when I'm in the park your my guy.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Thanks.", "BOOTH: Thanks for this.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Its just that I... I always felt that there was now that I could have done for my brother, maybe he'd still be here. Guess I'm just trying to do that little extra is all.", "BOOTH: We always feel that way when we lose someone.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Tell you what, whilst you're here why don't you go and pick up and application, I mean the bureau is always looking for good men and with your service record... Tell Jenny in personnel that I sent you.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: I will. Thanks.", "(CUT TO JEFFERSONIAN HODGINS LAB - HODGINS is vacuuming particulates from the female corpse. Enter ANGELA.)", "ANGELA: OK that's gross.", "HODGINS: I'm vacuuming their noses or what used to be their noses. Its fun. Wanna to help?", "ANGELA: You are not playing with our children without supervision.", "HODGINS: I'm retrieving pollen that would have been present as they took their last breath, we can match that with the daily pollen count chart the that forest service keeps.", "ANGELA: Ah, which gives us an accurate time of death.", "HODGINS: Suddenly what I'm doing is pretty cool, isn't it?", "ANGELA: Kind of. A little. Yeah.", "HODGINS: How you feeling? Baby making you sick today?", "ANGELA: No. The only place I'm not nauseous is here, which is weird because this place always used to make me sick before.", "HODGINS: Well when you feel better we can take off for our Babymoon.", "ANGELA: Babymoon?", "HODGINS: Yeah you know, last trip before we lose all freedom and become our parents which in your case is OK because you know your dad is pretty cool.", "ANGELA:Well we should go back to Paris.", "HODGINS: (Does a French accent) But of course. Where else? And you get to eat whatever you like because you're going to look like the Hindenburg anyway.", "ANGELA: Nice. Nice.", "HODGINS: (Backpedaling) More to love. You know. More to love.", "ANGELA: Hmm.", "HODGINS: Did you ID the victim yet?", "ANGELA: Hmm. Sort of. (She logs onto PC) The woman is Hilary Fuller, I got a match off the DMV which led to the missing persons report filed by her boss but the guys skulls was a little bit harder.", "(ANGELA'S RECONSTRUCTION APPEARS ON SCREEN)", "HODGINS: George Clooney.", "ANGELA: The victim's skull was funky so this was the best I could do.", "HODGINS: Oh victim, who art though.", "(CUT TO FBI BUILDING - BOOTH is walking down a corridor, he glances to the left then rolls his eyes.)", "SWEETS: Oh, Agent Booth... (SWEETS appears)", "BOOTH: No.", "SWEETS: No, what?", "BOOTH: Nah, I'm not going to talk about Hannah.", "SWEETS: Ah, I just want you to know that I understand that this can be a loaded situation and if you need any help...", "BOOTH: You should just take care of your own house first.", "SWEETS: I imagine you are referring to me and Daisy.", "BOOTH: Yeah you know that whole on again off again thing, its not good.", "SWEETS: I know. I know. I'm trying to deal with it. But I find that if I consider making a clean break you know, that although it opens up my world sexually-", "BOOTH: -Whoa-", "SWEETS: I might lose-", "BOOTH: -You're really talking about that now", "SWEETS: No. No. Of course not.", "BOOTH: That's good. Good Pal.", "SWEETS: But to wrap up, Daisy and I have no obligations to each other, no commitments. We're just riding that wave.", "BOOTH: Ride the wave. You hang ten. I'm gonna go a solve a murder. Don't forget the SPF.", "(SWEETS nods feeling like the conversation was a good one)", "(CUT TO FBI CONFERENCE ROOM)", "[A man waits. Booth enters]", "BOOTH: So, you reported Hilary Fuller missing?", "HILARY'S BOSS: Yes. She was my marketing manager. Um, she'd only worked for me for a few months but er, it wasn't like her to just disappear so I called her place, her cell and I got worried.", "BOOTH: (Makes himself a coffee) Right. Do you take an interest in all your employees?", "HILARY'S BOSS: What do you mean?", "BOOTH: Oh, well you're single, Hilary is very attractive.", "HILARY'S BOSS: Hey, I came down here to help. Now I'm a suspect.", "BOOTH: Why are you so defensive? I'm just asking a question.", "HILARY'S BOSS: Look, Hilary she seemed great, we went to lunch a couple of times, she put on the breaks...", "BOOTH: And you were okay with that?", "HILARY'S BOSS: Yes. Yes, she didn't want to get involved. Its cool. I'm a big boy.", "BOOTH: You recognize this man? (Pulls out Angela's pic of George Clooney)", "HILARY'S BOSS: Sure. Its George Clooney. (Booth groans/sighs, its not the answer he's looking for.) She was killed by George Clooney?", "BOOTH: Its not Clooney. Its the other victim. You know what I think? I think Hilary and this other man were killed by somebody who was very jealous.", "HILARY'S BOSS: I reported her missing, remember?", "BOOTH: I do. I remember. Yeah.", "(CUT TO THE JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE - ON TV SCREEN A NEWS FEED OF HANNAH REPORTING)", "HANNAH: (ON TV) I'm here in the USA Base in the Khost Province where a bomb has just gone off", "ANGELA: (Talks over the TV) She is hot.", "(BRENNAN is with her.", "BRENNAN: Yes, she's in Afghanistan the temperate is frequently over 100 degrees.", "ANGELA: No. Attractive hot. Sexy hot.", "BRENNAN: Of course.", "ANGELA: So, Booth seems happy with her right?", "BRENNAN: Yes. He always wanted to find someone to share his life. I don't think he expected it to happen like this. Just like you.", "ANGELA: Like me?", "BRENNAN: Well, you've also found a mate although you never expected to be in a long term monogamous relationship.", "ANGELA: Yeah, well, love sort of decided that for me. Like Cam, she never expected to be a parent.", "BRENNAN: So, I'm the only one living the life I expected.", "ANGELA: Well, how's that honey?", "BRENNAN: Its um, as I expected. (HODGINS Enters):", "HODGINS: I have time of... Whoa.. Wow. Is that her?", "ANGELA: Don't drool Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Huh? No. No. No. Only when I look at you Angie. May I? (Reaches for the remote in Angela's hands) I, er found time of death. I cross referenced the pollen from the nasal cavity with the chart from the forest service. They died two weeks ago on the 13th.", "(BRENNAN leaves. Hodgins put the news back on and stares, Angela looks at him expectantly.)", "HODGINS: She's not that great really. Homely actually, when compared to you.", "(Angela mockingly agrees with him)", "ANGELA: Keep going. Don't stop.", "HODGINS: Goddess on high. Mother of my unborn child. Love of (Angela walks away) my life.", "(Hodgins follows after one last look at TV)", "(CUT TO DC STREETS then FBI BUILDING - Brennan and Booth talk and walk in the office)", "BOOTH: So, you're sure they died on the 13th?", "BRENNAN: Hodgins was certain. Why?", "BOOTH: The park ranger mentioned a killing it was you know a while ago so I checked it out, here let me use this computer. Winston Hinkle, he had a history of mental illness, he got into a big fight with a camper and ended up beating him to death. He got 8yrs for manslaughter", "BRENNAN: What does this got to do with the 13th?", "BOOTH: Well, he was released two weeks ago on the 11th. Parole officer said he lives right outside the park.", "(CUT TO BOOTH'S SUV - BOOTH and SWEETS)", "SWEETS: So, Hinkle was diagnosed with bipolar and cyclothymia disorder with episodes of paranoia.", "BOOTH: Okay, so why would they let him out?", "SWEETS: Well, the attending psychiatrist feels that his illness is under control. He's taking his meds, hasn't had a serious episode in over three years.", "(BOOTH'S phone rings.)", "BOOTH: Booth. Ah, hey! Ah, ha. No I'm just working. No, not Bones. Sweets. Sure. Alright. See you then. You too. (Hangs up) What are you staring at? Don't do that.", "SWEETS: Its just I find it interesting that you'd be so self conscious on the phone.", "BOOTH: Really? Interesting? Because I'm having a private conversation in front of someone who's really nosy.", "SWEETS: Well, you could be self conscious because I know your history with Dr Brennan. I mean its natural to have mixed feelings.", "BOOTH: Do you want to know what I'm feeling?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "BOOTH: Do you really want to know what I'm feeling?", "SWEETS: Please.", "BOOTH: Okay, when I left Afghanistan I was miserable thinking that I would never see Hannah again. And why do you think that is huh, Dr Phil?", "SWEETS: Why don't you tell me?", "BOOTH: Because I'm crazy about her. Because my life is just way better when we're together right which is why I'm happy. The past is the past. Okay. I'm happy sweets.", "SWEETS: I believe you.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "SWEETS: You're a lucky man.", "BOOTH: I know. Now, get on your shrinky mojo so you can pick up any left over crazies that the other doctor might have missed.", "SWEETS: My shrinky mojo? That's how it works?", "BOOTH: Yeah that's how it works. Stop staring at me like that.", "(PULL UP AT HINKLE'S TRAILER - HINKLE comes out unawares with an axe in hand. BOOTH and SWEETS pull up and get out.)", "BOOTH: (Takes a look at HINKLE) Oh. OK.", "SWEETS: You did bring your gun, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "HINKLE: This is private property. You're trespassing.", "BOOTH: FBI. Mr Hinkle, I just have to ask you a few questions.", "HINKLE: I did my time. I check in with my parole officer every week.", "BOOTH: Right, well, do I need to tell your parole officer that you were belligerent or cooperative? Which do you think he'd be happier with.", "HINKLE: If you got a question, just ask it.", "BOOTH: Yeah. A couple was found dead here in the park, two days after you were released.", "HINKLE: Uh, I guess I should have expected this.", "BOOTH: Expected to be caught?", "SWEETS: He means expected to be perceived as the man he was. That's what your doctor told you?", "HINKLE: I'm on my meds. I turned my life around. I know what I did was wrong, of course why should anybody else believe that.", "SWEETS: You have court ordered therapy sessions twice a week, any trouble making it out to those sessions from here?", "HINKLE: Nope.", "BOOTH: OK, you account for your whereabouts on the 13th?", "HINKLE: Nope.", "SWEETS: You recognize these people?", "HINKLE: Him. Yeah. They show us his movies in prison.", "BOOTH: Its not George Clooney. These are the victims. Beaten like the guy you killed.", "HINKLE: I deserve this I know, but I didn't kill anybody, I swear.", "BOOTH: I'm gonna keep an eye on you, Winston. (BOOTH and SWEETS walk away) So?", "SWEETS: He seems to be telling the truth but his meds could be masking a lie.", "BOOTH: You know, honestly, your whole mojo was disappointing.", "SWEETS: My mojo is good.", "(Get back in car)", "(CUT TO JEFFERSONIAN -PLATFORM- CAM, BRENNAN AND CLARK looking at computer)", "CAM: The injuries on the female indicate that the left posterior ribs eight through eleven shattered piercing the heart, lungs and kidneys.", "BRENNAN: Her scapula is also broken which could have pierced the lung.", "CLARK: His injuries were more presented in the interior and weren't as severe.", "CAM: Internal bleeding would have taken much longer to kill him, he could have gone for help.", "CLARK: The woman was bleeding out, perhaps he didn't want to leave her.", "CAM: So he stayed and held her and she died in his arms.", "BRENNAN: We need to discover why the injuries were localized his in the front and hers in the back. No one would deliver a beating so carefully.", "(CUT TO FOUNDING FATHER'S BAR - BOOTH, BRENNAN and HANNAH share a table)", "HANNAH: Seeley tells me you're the best partner he's ever had.", "BRENNAN: Well I'm sure that's true. I'm not only gifted intellectually and internationally known but I'm also highly skilled in various methods of self defense.", "HANNAH: (Impressed) I like a person who isn't hampered by modesty. I have two Peabody's, a National Press Award and I have been wounded three times getting stories. I kick Christiane Amanpour's ass.", "BRENNAN: We are both quite impressive. Booth never told me how you met.", "HANNAH: It was outside Marja, the Taliban controlled the area, and I was going in to interview one of the leaders.", "BOOTH: She was told not to go in but you know of course it didn't matter, she goes in.", "HANNAH: I was heading to a cafe, walking across this little town square, an insurgent opened fire. Anyway Seeley was there. I didn't notice at the time. He was hidden of course. I was scrambling for cover, the sniper still firing when I heard another shot ring out, the sniper dropped - wounded not killed because he might having information. Seeley never went for the kill unless he could help it.", "BRENNAN: He saved your life.", "BOOTH: Well you know what, we met on the field. We'll leave it at that, shall we?", "HANNAH: Lets just say that I was very appreciative.", "BRENNAN: You're implying that you showed your appreciation sexually.", "HANNAH: Oh, yeah!", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "HANNAH: Under a fig tree.", "BOOTH: I never liked figs, now I love 'em!", "HANNAH: I know.", "(BOOTH and HANNAH laugh at the memory. BRENNAN'S phone rings)", "BRENNAN: (She answers her phone)Brennan. Oh Booth is here too. I'll put you on speakerphone.", "(INTERCUT WITH HODGINS IN LAB)", "HODGINS: Hey. So I found eggs from the Sternarinker Aphidotia, they were on George Clooney.", "BOOTH: Its like pulling teeth from this guy. OK Hodgins, the eggs from chickens or..", "HODGINS: I just told you, aphids. So I hatched the eggs and it turns out aphids are wingless", "HANNAH: This is fascinating.", "HODGINS: Who's that?", "BOOTH & BRENNAN: Hannah", "HODGINS: Oh. Hey. Hi. (Fawning) nice to meet you. I, uh, um...Hodgins. Dr Hodgins. I am a big big fan. I just read the piece when you stuck it to SENCOM in 2009.", "HANNAH: Thanks.", "HODGINS: Hey, maybe while your here you could find out why every time there's a big story like an earthquake or government corruption there's always some celebrity story that takes focus-", "BOOTH: Hodgins.", "HODGINS: You know the BP oil spill, Lindsay Lohan goes to jail and the country takes their eye off the ball.", "BOOTH: Hodgins.", "HANNAH: Media is used to distract us all the time.", "BOOTH: You're taking him seriously.", "HANNAH: Michael Jackson's funeral is on 24hrs a day and nobody finds out about the coup in Honduras officially.", "HODGINS: I love this woman.", "BRENNAN: We were talking about wingless aphids Dr Hodgins.", "HODGINS: We were. Right. Yeah. Yes. No. We were. So wingless aphids they couldn't have existed where we found the remains. They live in windier environments at a higher altitudes so I checked the wind patterns at various altitudes and I found some cabins in the park that hikers use to rest they must have been there.", "BOOTH: The male victim may have left something which might ID him. You know thanks Hodgins. We should get back to the park.", "HANNAH: And I should get to Capitol Hill. I'm covering the Armed Services hearing.", "BOOTH: I'll see you back at the apartment.", "HANNAH: Yes. [BOOTH and HANNAH kiss]", "(CUT TO CABINS IN TAYLOR NATIONAL PARK - BOOTH, BRENNAN and PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT)", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: If George Clooney had been up here I'm sure I'd remember him.", "BOOTH: That's not funny.", "BRENNAN: Apparently its not a very accurate sketch.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: I'm sorry I don't recognize either one of them. Hundreds of people come to the park everyday.", "BOOTH: It was worth a shot.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: The cabins are inspected weekly. If anything was found I'm sure it would be in the lost and found.", "BRENNAN: There doesn't seem to be anything in the cabin.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: I, er filled out my application like you said. You know if we work well together maybe you could give me a recommendation. Brothers in arms and all.", "BOOTH: We'll see what happens.", "BRENNAN: Look at this Booth.", "BOOTH: Wow. Look at all these names, huh, we're talking 'bout a love shack. (Amused)", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Couples have been known to use the shelter for a romantic interlude.", "BRENNAN: Like a fig tree.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Beg your pardon.", "BOOTH: Nothing. I like figs. Look at this. This is fresh. 9/13 the day they died.", "BRENNAN: HF. Hilary Fuller.", "BOOTH: Yeah but who is FV.", "(CUT TO JEFFERSONIAN -PLATFORM- BRENNAN and CLARK look at findings on computer)", "CLARK: I was trying anything that would get us an ID on our mystery man so I analyzed his Strontium isotope composition of his teeth; now it indicated that the victim spent the first twenty or so years in Central America", "BRENNAN: Probably Guatemala based on the oxygen ratios.", "(CAM joins them bringing up her own results on computer)", "CAM: Well the remaining tissue I collected from his hands shows a high level of nicotine.", "CLARK: So, he had green tobacco sickness.", "BRENNAN: He was a migrant worker picking tobacco, which we might be we can't get a match for him.", "CLARK: So, the initials FV would be Spanish in origin?", "CAM: But Hilary Fuller was a college educated woman with a good job at a marketing firm. Why would she romantically involved with a migrant worker?", "BRENNAN: See if the victims share any additional genetic or environmental markers", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(CUT TO DINER - BOOTH, SWEETS and BRENNAN eat at counter)", "SWEETS: She was a marketing director and he was a migrant worker. I can't believe they were a romantic couple.", "BOOTH: Just because they have different backgrounds, what, you're saying they can't be in love?", "BRENNAN: Your belief in the power of love is admiral Booth but an affair between these two is an anthropological anomaly", "SWEETS: Yeah, I mean crossing class boundaries that extreme would be rare and indicate that our victims had something in common that we haven't discovered yet.", "BOOTH: So its not possible for two people to overcome their differences?", "BRENNAN: We couldn't.", "BOOTH: What?", "SWEETS: She right.", "BOOTH: What? This is not about us.", "BRENNAN: Sometimes when I was away I would imagine us together. (Both BOOTH and SWEETS look at her in shock)", "SWEETS: Really?", "BRENNAN: Well, while pleasant it was clearly a fantasy because we are also anomalies you were lucky enough to meet someone with whom you have parody.", "BOOTH: Love. With whom I have love.", "SWEETS: You guys want to talk about this.", "BOOTH: Nope.", "SWEETS: No, 'cause I figure that now Hannah is a part of your life-", "BOOOTH: Why don't you focus on what connected them if they were so incompatible. OK, that's easy enough for you to do.", "(BRENNAN'S phone rings)", "BRENNAN: (Answers her phone) Brennan.", "(INTERCUT TO LAB - CLARK and CAM)", "CLARK: I found the connection. Osteopenia. Both victims exhibit low bone mass and suppressed bone formation", "BRENNAN: They were alcoholics", "SWEETS: Oh that's the connection.", "CLARK: Now although Hilary Fuller's bones were still weak her osteoblasts did show evidence of a recent increase in bone growth sufficient to show she hadn't been drinking for at least two years.", "CAM: I did a count on the male victims osteoblasts too and found that they were also returning to normal.", "BRENNAN: So he had also stopped drinking.", "CAM: But according to the figures only within the last year.", "BRENNAN: Alright thanks. (Hangs up) So both of them had stopped drinking, she more than 2 years ago, he less than a year", "BOOTH: I know the connection. AA.", "(CUT TO AA MEETING - BOOTH and BRENNAN)", "BOOTH: Excuse me (flashes his badge at HANK) FBI. I see you're wearing your chip so you have probably been coming here a little while, huh?", "HANK: This is a safe environment. We don't want to rat out our friends here.", "BOOTH: Just want to ask you a few questions about Hilary Fuller. She used to live in this area so this was probably her meeting.", "HANK: I ain't talking to no cop.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: Don't be such an asshat Hank. (He walks off) I knew Hilary. What happened did she fall of the wagon?", "BRENNAN: No but she is dead. We believe murdered.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: God!", "BOOTH: You still haven't learned how to ease into that one, right Bones.", "BRENNAN: Do you recognize this man?", "LORRAINE ALLEN: He killed her? He seemed so nice in the movies.", "BRENNAN: No, this is the other victim who was found with Hilary; his initials are FV.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: FV. Oh, Felix. He does kinda look like George Clooney. Wait. I, I... I can't believe this. Felix is gone too.", "BRENNAN: They were found in Taylor National Park in a cave.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: Makes sense.", "BOOTH: Why's that?", "LORRAINE ALLEN: If Hilary was sponsoring someone she would take them into the woods so they could get in touch with themselves.", "BOOTH: Its a good way to assess the, you know, damages they've done in their lives and make amends.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: Yeah. You in the program?", "BOOTH: Well, I'm a gambler but I haven't laid a bet in years but I do miss the coffee here though.", "BRENNAN: Were Hilary and Felix romantically involved?", "LORRAINE ALLEN: Its not supposed to happen with your sponsor but they just kinda clicked and he was having some trouble as home. I guess his girlfriend was jealous because Hilary was helping Felix stay sober.", "BOOTH: Right. And they were falling in love.", "LORRAINE ALLEN: That too. I guess his girlfriend couldn't handle it. That's life right. Things change.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN share a heavy look, they know what she means)", "BRENNAN: Uh, do you know where we can find Felix's girlfriend?", "(CUT TO FBI INTEROGATION ROOM - BOOTH and FELIX'S GIRLFRIEND)", "LUPE ROJAS: Felix was no saint. He might have a been a teacher in Guatemala but here he was just a drunk. You have his record there.", "BOOTH: Right. Drunk and disorderly, buying alcohol for a minor, petty theft - not major crimes.", "LUPE ROJAS: You're defending him now. That kid he bought booze for got into an accident or something.", "BOOTH: I'm just trying to find out who killed Felix and right now you're looking like a good suspect", "LUPE ROJAS: Nah, Screw you man.", "BOOTH: Screw me?", "LUPE ROJAS: Yeah, screw you. I was always there for him. I bailed the b*st*rd out of jail. I cleaned him up after he was so drunk he slept in the street and then he cheats on me...", "BOOTH: You don't seem too upset to find out he's dead.", "LUPE ROJAS: You live with a drunk, you expect them to die. I guess I was ready.", "BOOTH: Right, so, you weren't needed anymore once he got sober, right.", "LUPE ROJAS: I wasted my time with him. He wasn't a real man. A real man can take a drink and he can still party. He was not a man.", "BOOTH: He was to another woman. That must have made you angry. Why didn't you report him missing?", "LUPE ROJAS: Because I just thought he run off with that bitch.", "BOOTH: So you followed him to the woods just to make sure that it was true.", "LUPE ROJAS: You found him in the woods. I got allergies I don't go to the woods.", "BOOTH: Well people do crazy things when they're angry. Can you account where you were on the 13th Lupe?", "LUPE ROJAS: I don't have to talk to you. I don't have to say anything.", "(CUT TO BOOTH'S APARTMENT -Bedroom- Clothes scattered everywhere - laughing. BOOTH and HANNAH)", "HANNAH: Well, this is the best lunch I've had in a long time.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "HANNAH: You want desert?", "(Booth laughs - they kiss)", "BOOTH: I gotta get back to work (Hannah groans) There's always dinner, right?", "HANNAH: You and Brennan... you two seem solid.", "BOOTH: Well, it happens after working together for what, five years.", "HANNAH: You know, I, I'm a little jealous actually.", "BOOTH: What you actually think there is something going on between me and Bones?", "HANNAH: No, not that, unless there's something I should know?", "BOOTH: No of course not.", "HANNAH: I guess I'm just jealous of what you two do together - the action, in the field.", "BOOTH: Ah. So, the Armed Service committee is not doing it for you?", "HANNAH: Nah, I think I'm the only one in the press core who refuses to write its stories from the press releases.", "BOOTH: You're gonna make trouble whilst your here aren't ya?", "HANNAH: As much as possible. Isn't that why you love me?", "BOOTH: Its definitely one of the reasons. I gotta get back to work, Hannah.", "HANNAH: I know. I know but I'm trouble remember. (She yanks him back into bed)", "(CUT TO JEFFERSONIAN LAB - FOYER- CAM is pushing a trolley with tires on it HODGINS walks over)", "HODGINS: Alright!", "CAM: I was told these are for you.", "HODGINS: Yes, these are the tires from Lupe Rojas' car. She denies going to the park but Booth doesn't believe her.", "CAM: And if she's lying the treads should contain insect and plant matter that could place her there.", "HODGINS: Exactly. You know, you could be my lovely assistant.", "CAM: Yes but since I'm your boss you're my lovely assistant.", "HODGINS: Ah. yeah. Right. At least I'm lovely.", "(CUT TO: THE PLATFORM AROUND THE REMAINS)", "CLARK: I've re-examined the injuries but I haven't found anything new.", "BRENNAN: And why do you think that is?", "CLARK: Because there is nothing new?", "BRENNAN: Because you have been looking at them as if both victims were attacked and beaten.", "CLARK: Of course. Wasn't that your supposition?", "BRENNAN: Yes but was it yours because an assistant who doesn't think for himself has no value to me", "CLARK: OK but I thought that I...", "BRENNAN: No you didn't that's the point. You repeated an inconclusive assumption that I made without all the evidence, evidence by the way that you were supposed to supply whilst I was busy with other duties.", "(CAM approaches)", "CLARK: OK. I'm going to assume that I missed something.", "BRENNAN: Yeah, I can guarantee that you missed something. Perhaps this is the reason that you didn't get your promotion in Chicago", "CAM: Dr Brennan!", "BRENNAN: If you hope to redeem yourself in my eyes you will look at these remains and tell me exactly what it is that you missed.", "CAM: I'm guessing that this about more than a mistake made by an assistant.", "BRENNAN: Why you think that? Do you know what she's talking about? (Asks CLARK)..", "CLARK: Yes but I'd prefer to focus on my own failings at this moment.", "CAM: Someone has altered your relationship with Booth Dr Brennan-", "BRENNAN: Do you mean Hannah?", "CAM: Yes. Whether or not you're happy for him you have to have feelings about it and if you can't keep it out of the work place-", "CLARK: Oh my God!", "CAM: I'm sorry Dr Eddison but sometimes our personal lives directly affect our work.", "CLARK: No. no. I see what Dr. Brennan means. These two people weren't beaten at all.", "BRENNAN: You see this is about nothing more than Dr. Eddison's incompetence.", "CLARK: That's very kind.", "CAM: But if they weren't beaten then why did Dr. Hodgins find traces of sedimentary rock in their wounds.", "CLARK: Because they fell on rocks and she broke his fall which is why his injuries weren't as severe.", "BRENNAN: Very good. You see I was merely helping Dr. Eddison to be a better scientist.", "CAM: I apologize Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Accepted. Those people in Chicago were foolish to lose you Dr. Eddison.", "CLARK: Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Its actually quite amusing to think that Hannah would ever affect my work.", "(As bones walks off Cam and Clark share a disagreeing look)", "(Cut to Angela's office and the Angelator)", "ANGELA: So I input put all the injuries and breaks that were found on both the victims.", "BRENNAN: You can see that they share mirror fractures on their chests and pelvises.", "CLARK: the compression fractures that they share are because he landed on top of her.", "BRENNAN: This also explains why the zygomatic and maxilla are shattered. His face struck the rocks directly.", "ANGELA: Now here are the injuries on her back and I found some photographs of the area surrounding the cave, I used topographical overlay software to find the rocks that would match their injuries. So this section of the rocks here is the section that matches their injuries, its about 250ft from the cave.", "CAM: Well with the amount of blood loss they were both suffering they couldn't have made it any farther.", "(CUT TO THE PARK -the rocks ANGELA pointed out- BOOTH, BRENNAN and PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT)", "BRENNAN: This is the spot.", "BOOTH: Well, I want a forensic team to come and bust through all these rocks.", "BRENNAN: They fell from up there.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Maybe it was a suicide thing?", "BOOTH: Nah, uh uh. There was no note and everyone who knew them said they were pretty happy.", "BRENNAN: What's up there?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Its a vista point. Beautiful view. Its just tough to access. Usually only experienced hikers go up there.", "BOOTH: Well Hilary was experienced. She brought people from the program up here.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Program?", "BOOTH: Yeah, AA.", "BRENNAN: So, there wouldn't be a lot of people up there, so no one would see if someone pushed the couple of the cliff.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Uh no. I guess not.", "(Booths phone rings)", "BOOTH: (He answers it) Great thanks. That was Hodgins. Lupe lied. He found evidence in her tire treads that she was up here.", "(CUT TO JEFFERSONIAN FOYER - BOOTH and BRENNAN escort LUPE in)", "LUPE ROJAS: This place is freaky. Why are we here? Is this some kind of torture place?", "BRENNAN: We're just going to verify your story.", "LUPE ROJAS: I didn't kill them.", "BOOTH: Oh, really? Then why did you lie about going to the park?", "LUPE ROJAS: Because I knew you wouldn't believe me if you knew I drove out there.", "BOOTH: Well, now that you lied I believe you even less.", "LUPE ROJAS: I'm telling you that I got allergies. I followed them but then I started sneezing up there, my eyes puffed up, I couldn't see so I went home.", "BRENNAN: Are you ready? (Asks the approaching Hodgins)", "HODGINS: Ready", "BOOTH: Ready. Ready, Ready.", "LUPE ROJAS: Ready, ready for what? I'm not ready. What are those?", "BOOTH: Well, you know you said you followed them to the top of the trail but couldn't go up any further...", "LUPE ROJAS: Because I was sneezing and stuff, yeah?", "HODGINS: Yeah, so we're going to do a little experiment.", "CLARK: I feel really uncomfortable about this. We usually don't do experiments live humans.", "HODGINS: I know. Should be fun!", "LUPE ROJAS: You said you were going to give me a chance to clear myself.", "BOOTH: We are. Unless you want me to lock you up for a few weeks until a public defender comes along and takes your case, that's up to you. What do you think?", "BRENNAN: These are plants that grow at the higher altitudes in the park. Chocolate Honeysuckle, Red Twig Dogwood and Russian Hawthorne.", "HODGINS: Lets start with that one.", "(Clark waves it under LUPE'S nose, she sniff, nothing)", "LUPE ROJAS: What are you witches, because my grandmother knows spells?", "HODGINS: Okay next one.", "CLARK: This is dogwood.", "(She takes a short sniff)", "BOOTH: Not looking good Lupe.", "CLARK: And this is honey suckle.", "(She sniffs and sneezes suddenly.)", "BOOTH: Jesus.", "(Clark smirks)", "LUPE ROJAS: Get it away", "(Clark sneezes)", "HODGINS: Clark why didn't you say you were allergic?", "CLARK: I didn't know. (Hands the jar to HODGINS)", "LUPE ROJAS: I'm calling my Grandma.", "BRENNAN: She's telling the truth booth. These are severe. She wouldn't have been able to continue following them up there.", "(LUPE and CLARK continue sneezing)", "HODGINS: (Finally) I'm going to get an antihistamine.", "(CAM walks in as HODGINS walks out)", "CAM: I think I found something.", "(CUT TO CAM'S LAB - THE AUTOPSY ROOM)", "CAM: Most of the flesh was decomposed or eaten by parasites except for this area around his eye and cheek.", "BRENNAN: The flesh is desiccated and seems to be untouched by scavengers.", "BOOTH: If they ate everything else then why would the animals avoid that?", "CAM: That's what I asked myself so I did an analysis of the tissue and compared it with the tissue I took off other parts of the remains, this tissue from around his eye contains Capsaicin", "BRENNAN: Pepper spray.", "CAM: Yes but at a very high concentration. Government issue. The scavengers wouldn't touch it.", "BOOTH: Wait a second. Forest services issues a highly concentrated spray to park rangers who encounter bears or other aggressive animals.", "(CUT TO WOODS: PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT, BOOTH AND BRENNAN)", "BOOTH: We looked at Felix' rap sheet a little closer and the minor he bought liquor for was your niece", "BRENNAN: She drank to much and got into a car accident", "BOOTH: And she died. Isn't that right Gary?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: I saw him hiking with that woman. I recognized him from court. They went up to the cabin and I followed them.", "BOOTH: You know your sister in law's been through enough, she lost her husband in Afghanistan and then her daughter.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Its not fair.", "BRENNAN: Neither was killing those two people.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: They let him off with a slap on the wrist, counseling that's crap, he needed to pay. We're both soldiers you understand.", "BOOTH: No I don't get that.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: Come on man, when we were over there we took care of business, we didn't wait for some trial.", "BRENNAN: What about the woman?", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: She was defending him. Saying that he turned his life around. Collateral damage, it happens.", "BOOTH: This isn't war, Gary.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: He killed Sarah. She never had a chance to turn her life around.", "BOOTH: So you sprayed him with pepper spray and pushed him of a cliff.", "PARK RANGER GARY NESBITT: I did the right thing, for Sarah and my brother. Nobody is ever going to tell me I didn't do the right thing.", "(CUT TO EVENING --FOUNDING FATHERS- BOOTH AND BRENNAN)", "BOOTH: Its sad you know, but at least they died in each others arms.", "BRENNAN: How could that have made their deaths any less horrible?", "BOOTH: Well because it was love. I mean... I mean, if you're going to go its best to go with someone you love.", "BRENNAN: No but he didn't have to go. He could have walked father and gotten some help, at least one of them would have lived.", "BOOTH: Well he couldn't leave her, that, that's what love is.", "BRENNAN: So you're saying that love is foolish and illogical?", "BOOTH: No, its thinking of someone before yourself. Its giving your life if necessary to that person, its, its love.", "BRENNAN: And if that person falls out of love and meets someone else, those selfless acts would suddenly appear to be dangerously irresponsible wouldn't they?", "BOOTH: No, it was still love.", "BRENNAN: Well, uh, I could never live like that. Survival is the human imperative, if we don't look out for ourselves nothing else matters.", "BOOTH: That's not true, you know that Bones. That's not true. You know that.", "BRENNAN: You're experiencing a rush of Dopamine, Norepinephrine and Serotonin with Hannah, those feelings are wonderful, I've felt them, but I won't rely on the transient nature of chemicals for my happiness.", "(Hannah walks in)", "BOOTH: There she is. Wow.", "HANNAH: Hey.", "BOOTH: Wow. That's a dress. (They kiss)", "HANNAH: Hey Temperance.", "BRENNAN: Hello.", "HANNAH: So you guys catch a bad guy?", "BRENNAN: Yes it was a park ranger with a perverse sense of justice.", "HANNAH: Ah. So this is like a post criminal drink?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Its a post... You want one?", "HANNAH: I'll have one or two or three at dinner. We should go we're be late.", "BOOTH: Yeah, we should get going.", "HANNAH: (Turns to BRENNAN) Do you want to go?", "BRENNAN: Oh no, thanks. I have to catalog all the forensics.", "BOOTH: Clark can do it.", "BRENNAN: I don't mind. Have a good night.", "BOOTH: So, I'll see you tomorrow then.", "(Booth tugs Hannah towards the door, she breaks free and sidles up to Brennan)", "HANNAH: Um one night, you and me, girls night out, we'll dish about Seeley.", "BOOTH: Come on lets go (jokingly pulls her away)", "(Bones is left alone nursing her drink)" ]

[ "When Booth and Brennan are called to investigate decomposed remains found at the Jersey Shore, the team IDs the victim as Richie \"The V\" Genaro, a 23-year-old who partied the night before at a popular nightclub. Booth and Brennan question Genaro's peers and the club bouncer, and Brennan surprisingly proves her pop culture savvy and anthropological expertise after watching what she believes to be a documentary on the inhabitants of the Jersey Shore, but was in actuality a reality show set there. Meanwhile, at the lab, the team grows fond of Booth's girlfriend, Hannah, and Angela tries to keep her pregnancy a secret." ]

[ "TEASER", "(OPEN: Nighttime. MAN on a beach with a metal detector.)", "MAN: Come on...come on... (metal detector beeps) Oh! (picks up a coin) Oh yeah, that's the stuff. (puts coin in pocket and moves to find more; metal detector beeps again) Oh! (bends down and picks up a metal cross attached to a chain; tugs at the cross to reveal a skeleton head filled with maggots buried under the sand) Oh no. Christ. (looks around, then pulls the cross from the skeleton's neck, breaking the chain) (laughs)", "(CUT TO: SPECIAL AGENT SEELEY BOOTH and HANNAH BURLEY sprawled over each other presumably after s*x, panting.)", "HANNAH: Is it me, or are we louder stateside?", "BOOTH: There are no bombs to drown out, alright?", "(They kiss. They are interrupted by Hannah's ringing phone on the bedside table.)", "BOOTH: Are you serious? Its 3AM!", "HANNAH (gets up to look at her phone): It's my boss.", "BOOTH: Your boss? Oh.", "HANNAH (answers phone): Hannah here, and annoyed, it's the middle of the night. At seven? That's only a few hours away. (Booth kisses the back of her knee) Do they have my name at the gate? Okay, thanks. (hangs up and gets dressed)", "BOOTH (moves behind her): Alright, what's going on? (kisses her on the cheek)", "HANNAH: Breakfast at the White House.", "BOOTH: Mmm.", "HANNAH: Only five of us were invited so...maybe I can get some real questions answered. (kisses him on the cheek)", "BOOTH: Breakfast at 4AM?", "HANNAH: Seven...", "BOOTH: Seven?", "HANNAH: ...but I have to change. These are the only clothes that I have here.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "HANNAH: Gotta go. (they kiss)", "BOOTH (in between kisses): You gotta go? Right this second? (groans)", "HANNAH: Bye, see you tonight. (dashes off)", "(BOOTH flops on the bed. His phone rings.)", "BOOTH: Seriously? You gotta be kidding me. (rolls over to answer his phone)", "(CUT TO: A beach, where BOOTH and DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN are walking at a crime scene)", "BOOTH: Look, why can't they find these victims at a reasonable time of the day, huh? (looks at the water) Ah, just look at that. Look how beautiful it is, Bones. Wouldn't it be great to come to work every day at the beach?", "BRENNAN: Booth, the sand and the salty air would make research and accurate forensic analysis impossible.", "(They walk towards DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN, who is bent over a body)", "CAM: Victim's decomposing at an accelerated rate.", "BRENNAN: Could the acceleration be the result of something chemical or radiological? (bends down to look at the body)", "CAM: No sign of radioactivity and no chemical that I'm aware of that would cause catastrophic cellular necrosis.", "(Camera pans to the body where jumping maggots are visible)", "BOOTH: Whoa, what's going on with the maggots? They're like freaky happy.", "CAM: Yeah, and they're everywhere.", "BOOTH (sees a maggot crawling on the leg of his pants): Whoa! Okay, maggot, right on the leg, right there...can I squash him or does Hodgins have to interrogate him?", "BRENNAN: I'll get him. (picks up the maggot with forceps and puts it on a test tube)", "CAM: Dr. Brennan, can you help me lift the victim...gently? BRENNAN (moves to help Cam; to Booth): Where are you going?", "BOOTH: Uh, you know, ID'ing the victim takes forever, I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee. (starts walking away) CAM (looks at driver's license on wallet): Richard Dominic Genaro. (Booth turns back) Born September 25th 1986, 6'2\", 195 pounds. (looks at Booth)", "BOOTH: Or you could just check to see if he has a wallet.", "BRENNAN: Decomposition is accelerating perhaps because of the sunlight.", "BOOTH: Okay, so what have we got here, huh? Vampire from New Jersey?", "CAM: Before we answer that, I'd like to get him back to the lab.", "(They look at the skull, where the remaining tissue is slowly peeling off)", "BRENNAN: We better do it quickly.", "(OPENING CREDITS)", "ACT TWO", "(CUT TO: Medico-Legal Lab; Autopsy Room. DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN and COLIN FISHER heave the plastic-covered body on an examination table with a member of the Jeffersonian staff)", "CAM: On three...one, two, three!", "FISHER: Whoa!", "CAM (to Fisher): You're...stronger than you look.", "FISHER: Why, thank you, Dr. Saroyan. And I appreciate your effort to help me feel comfortable at work after my stint at the loony bin.", "CAM: Are you being sarcastic?", "FISHER: No. It's hard to tell, isn't it?", "CAM: Are you being sarcastic now?", "FISHER: My, my shrink told me that sarcasm is not earnest communication and that I should try to live joyously and genuinely in every moment.", "(HODGINS enters. CAM opens the plastic covering the body. Worms start jumping from the body.)", "HODGINS (enters): Whoa...okay, okay, everybody move, or just, just freeze. Wow. Piophila casei. More commonly known as cheese skippers. Under certain circumstances, they jump up, they grab their butts with their mouths.", "FISHER: I met a guy at the hospital that could do that.", "HODGINS: Yeah? They have them hopped up on stimulants? 'Cause that's what's causing this.", "CAM: We'll screen for amphetamines, Ecstasy, cocaine...", "(Chest area of the body suddenly deflates)", "FISHER: Oh. That might account for the rapid decomposition.", "CAM: This was one big muscly guy, he had only four percent body fat.", "HODGINS: Really? Geez, how much did he weigh?", "FISHER: 89 kilos.", "HODGINS: Really? This dude was shredded.", "FISHER: Tooth veneers over the central and lateral incisors...this guy must have had a brilliant engaging smile.", "HODGINS: Yeah, I'm sure he lived joyously in the moment. (Cam gives him a look) Um, no, we're, we're really really happy that you, you didn't kill yourself.", "FISHER: Oh, I was never suicidal. What happened was I slept 20 hours a day for two months. My shrink said it was a warning sign.", "CAM: Sounds great to me.", "FISHER: There's a depression fracture of the cranial vortex. No sign of remodeling.", "CAM: Smashed on top of the head?", "FISHER: Guess I'd better map these microfractures. Which will be a satisfying and productive use of my training and abilities.", "(CUT TO: Angela's Office, where ANGELA MONTENEGRO and BRENNAN are watching a guy's exercise video on the Angelatron)", "ANGELA (pauses the video): Okay, this one here is our victim, Ritchie the V.", "BRENNAN: I assume he's called Ritchie the V due to his body shape.", "(Angela nods and plays the video)", "RITCHIE: What up, this is Ritchie the V. Today, you're gonna learn how to get my signature V, baby. (gestures at his abs) Boom! Boom!", "FRANKIE COSTELLO (walks to Ritchie): Oh, Ritchie the V! (bumps shoulders with Ritchie) What's going on?", "ANGELA: Okay, so this one is L'il Frankie Costello. He's in most of his videos.", "BRENNAN: These are what are known as guidos.", "ANGELA: Yeah, sweetie, I don't think they actually like to be called that.", "BRENNAN: But they do. That's what they call themselves. Although interestingly not all guidos are of Italian descent.", "ANGELA: Really?", "BRENNAN: While the styles and mannerisms are based on Italian-American tropes, the guidos can be of any ethnic background. They gather at the Jersey Shore. The male bonding is near homoerotic. The friends or \"bros\" are more important to them than family.", "ANGELA: Right. And how do you know all of this?", "BRENNAN: I stumbled across a compelling documentary about them. The anthropologist in me was fascinated, I've been studying their language and customs.", "ANGELA: A documentary?", "BRENNAN: Yes, on television.", "ANGELA (laughs): Sweetie, just because it's called reality television doesn't mean that it's a documentary.", "BRENNAN: I-I'm quite certain you are incorrect about that.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(CUT TO: FBI Building; Booth's Office where BOOTH is talking to JANINE GENARO, the victim's mother)", "JANINE: You sure it's my Ritchie?", "BOOTH: Yes ma'am.", "JANINE (crosses herself tearfully): Madonna mia.", "BOOTH: The autopsy also shows that he may have been assaulted...uh, knocked on the head.", "JANINE: Who did this to my Ritchie? You tell me that right now.", "BOOTH: Can you think of anyone that would wanna hurt your son?", "JANINE: No. Agent Booth, I cannot think of anyone who would wanna hurt my Ritchie. Not anyone. And if I could think of such an anyone, I would go out there and I would kill them myself before they ever got anywhere near my kid!", "BOOTH: Any reason for him to be in trouble?", "JANINE: What kind of trouble?", "BOOTH: Girlfriends, uh, fighting?", "JANINE: No.", "BOOTH: Gambling?", "JANINE: No.", "BOOTH: Booze.", "JANINE: No, nothing like that. And, and any trouble he ever did get into was at the urge of that L'il Frankie 321.", "BOOTH: L'il Frankie 321...does he have a last name?", "JANINE: Yeah, Costello. Ralphie's boy. Any trouble my Ritchie ever got into, it was because of that L'il Frankie.", "BOOTH: What kind of trouble?", "JANINE: Oh, they both got kicked off the high school football team for using steroids. At the urge of that L'il Frankie just like I said, but I tell you what...I put the fear of God into my kid and he stopped. I didn't go through 44 hours of labor so my kid could grow up and stick poison in his body.", "BOOTH: And you're sure he stopped?", "JANINE: Yes, I am.", "BOOTH: How is that?", "JANINE: Because he told me. Ritchie never lied to me. Not twice anyway.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you saw your little Ritchie?", "JANINE: About a month ago, with L'il Frankie, uh, down at the Shore. They were sharing a house. (Booth offers her his handkerchief; she waves him off) Ritchie was very serious about school, and he said it was going to be his last summer to party. And I guess he was right. Agent Booth, if it turns out it was that L'il Frankie that did this... (slams hand on table) ...you bring him here to me.", "(CUT TO: Jeffersonian; Brennan's Office, BRENNAN's phone rings)", "BRENNAN (answers phone): This is Dr. Brennan.", "(Cut to BOOTH in his SUV, talking to Brennan over the phone. Scenes cut to them at the Jeffersonian and in the SUV during the conversation.)", "BOOTH: Listen, I got a lead on a suspect. It's a guy by the name of Francis Costello.", "BRENNAN: L'il Frankie?", "BOOTH: L'il Frankie...wait, how did you know?", "BRENNAN: Oh, he's featured in the guido video Angela found.", "BOOTH: Ah. Well, the victim's mother fingered little Frankie.", "BRENNAN (walking away from her office to the platform): L'il. L'il Frankie. Like L'il Red Riding Hood, L'il Abner, L'il John...", "BOOTH: Whatever, okay, you know what? We should be in the Jersey Shore, okay? I can come pick you up.", "BRENNAN: Oh, excellent! I can compare the field experience with the documentary series.", "BOOTH: Okay, see you in a bit.", "(They hang up. BRENNAN swipes her card to enter the forensic platform)", "FISHER: Ah, Dr. Brennan, how are you?", "BRENNAN: I'm well, Mr. Fisher. Have you fully recovered from your mental breakdown?", "FISHER: It's an ongoing process.", "BRENNAN: It's very often those with the highest intelligence who suffer from...the vernacular is meltdown.", "FISHER: Well, thank you, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: No, I'm not being kind, I'm being factual.", "FISHER I know. That's what makes it awesome. There was extensive damage to the C1 and C2 vertebrae. It's like the spinous and transverse processes cracked off internally.", "BRENNAN (examines the skull): That's exactly what happened, these processes were broken off by the foramen magnum, here. The cervical calm was forced into the victim's skull and then penetrated the base of the brain.", "FISHER: Which caused tearing to the major vessels of the brainpan. The brain would have bled out, thus releasing him into sweet oblivion. (Brennan gives him a look) Which is death, which is sad, not happy.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Death would have occurred near instantaneously.", "FISHER: I also found a sliver of concrete embedded in the skull wound, I gave it to Hodgins.", "BRENNAN: Very good, Mr. Fisher.", "(CUT TO: BOOTH and BRENNAN in the SUV)", "BOOTH: So what's got you so interested?", "BRENNAN: I've been studying their culture, language and customs. The guido tribe is fascinating.", "BOOTH: Wait, is it alright to call them that?", "BRENNAN: A tribe? Yes.", "BOOTH: No, no, I don't think it's alright to call them guidos.", "BRENNAN: Oh, the guidos' dance rituals, tattoos, speech patterns, secret lexicons and ornate costumes are obvious markers.", "BOOTH: They're dumb ass kids.", "BRENNAN: Yes. The avid focus on mating suggests a kind of protracted adolescence. Kids and dumb ass refer to their determined resistance to maturing. (her phone rings, answers phone) This is Dr. Brennan.", "(Cut to CAM in her office, talking to Brennan over the phone. Scenes cut to Cam's office and the SUV during the conversation.)", "CAM: We know why the cheese skippers were literally flipping out.", "HODGINS (enters): Ephedra. Probably from energy drinks.", "BRENNAN: Synthetic adrenaline.", "HODGINS: Yeah, the maggots ingested it from the tissue and it made them ravenous.", "CAM: Which explains why his remains decomposed so quickly", "HODGINS: Now extrapolating the time it took for one gram sample of flesh to be devoured, the victim died between 40 and 52 hours ago.", "CAM: There's more. Glycerin, surfactants, lanolin, petrolatum, vegetable oil, coconut oil, and copious amounts of artificial fragrance.", "HODGINS: Basically, he looked and smelled great when he died.", "BRENNAN: Okay. (hangs up) (to Booth) The tox screen showed high levels of alcohol, over-the-counter stimulants, and men's beauty products.", "BOOTH: I'm sorry, men's what now?", "BRENNAN: Hairspray, hair gel, tanning spray, and some sort of aerosolized perfume.", "BOOTH: Cologne. Men wear cologne.", "BRENNAN: You don't.", "BOOTH: That's because it smells like perfume.", "(CUT TO: BRENNAN and BOOTH walking down the Jersey Shore)", "BRENNAN: This is the perfect environment for the tribe to preen and mate.", "BOOTH: This is like trying to find a guido in a haystack. (his phone rings, answers phone) Booth. Hey, Hannah. Uh, yeah, just, you know what, hey, hell, move all your stuff in.", "BRENNAN: Say hi for me.", "BOOTH: Ah, no, I'm serious. Listen, uh, Bones say hi. Hannah says hi.", "BRENNAN (whispers): Hi.", "BOOTH: Hi. Everybody says hi. Okay. Uh, listen, mi casa es su casa. Alright. Talk to you later, bye.", "BRENNAN: That was uh, that was very casual.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: You inviting Hannah to move in with you. I mean, usually there's more ceremony. I hope she didn't feel cheated.", "BOOTH: It's not like we haven't talked about it before, Bones.", "(They notice a group of guys and girls chanting \"Go!\" at the roofdeck of a three-storey house)", "BRENNAN: Eureka! A gathering of guidos. I believe that's L'il Frankie. (Camera pans to FRANKIE, among the guys and girls at the roofdeck who are still chanting \"Go! Go! Go!\") Given the excessive amounts of stimulants and alcohol, it's possible that Ritchie the V simply fell down, fracturing his cerebellum on concrete.", "FRANKIE: Go one!", "CROWD (joins him): Two! Three! (a guy is tossed in the pool) Wooh!", "BOOTH: Yeah, that, or he was tossed head-first into the concrete by a bunch of drunken idiots.", "BRENNAN: That certainly would fit into their tribal customs.", "(Crowd cheer as the guy emerges from the pool)", "ACT THREE", "(CUT TO: A beach house party with dance music playing, people dancing, drinking and making out)", "BOOTH (sees a guidette - JOSEPHINE - being swung at a hammock): Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, FBI!", "JOSEPHINE (dropped on the floor): Aw!", "BOOTH: Watch yourself there. FBI Agent Booth.", "JOSEPHINE: Hey!", "FRANKIE: What's your name, pretty lady?", "BRENNAN: Oh, I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan (bumps shoulders with Frankie) of the Jeffersonian, sup? Yo, sup. Sup. Sup?", "FRANKIE: Well, Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian, how about when you finish with all your policing or whatnot, you and your Hartford teacher friends come and meet me at Club Elegante tonight, know what I'm saying?", "BOOTH: Okay, why don't we all just take a small swollen step back. You, Muscles Marinara, when was the last time you saw Ritchie Genaro?", "FRANKIE: Thursday. Him and Peppy Dio went creeping.", "BRENNAN (to Booth): Oh, creeping is when males go in search of females for the purpose of having s*x.", "BOOTH: Right, thanks, Bones, got that. (to Frankie) So, uh, was Peppy the last person who saw Ritchie?", "JOSEPHINE: Is Peppy in some sort of trouble?", "BOOTH: That's what we're here to find out. So, where's Peppy now?", "FRANKIE: He's doing a GTL.", "BOOTH: What's a GTL?", "BRENNAN (to Booth): Gym, tan, laundry.", "BOOTH: Wha...alright. Ritchie and Peppy, Thursday night. What happened?", "FRANKIE: I don't know, the V hasn't been back since. We just thought he pulled some ho-bag or skank or something, you know, that's the V's weakness.", "BRENNAN (to Booth): Ho-bags and skanks...", "BOOTH: Got it. Thank you. Alright, so, Peppy and Ritchie, have any arguments, they fight?", "JOSEPHINE: They fought over a stupid T-shirt.", "FRANKIE: Whoa! Shut the ho, Jo!", "JOSEPHINE: Uh. Whatever! (walks away)", "BOOTH: Okay, uh, they fought over a T-shirt?", "FRANKIE: Peppy got his drink on before going to the club. He went to pick up Ritchie who was wearing the exact same Fred McCarty t-shirt. Peppy didn't wanna be twinsies so...they got into it.", "BRENNAN: So the bros were mixing it up, yo.", "FRANKIE: Yeah, but they made up and wore the same shirt anyway.", "BRENNAN: Well, the victim was wearing a Fred McCarty shirt.", "BOOTH: That's true.", "FRANKIE: Victim...is Ritchie alright?", "BRENNAN: No. No, he's dead. FRANKIE (drops to his knees, distraught): Ritchie!!!", "JOSEPHINE (runs back to him): Frankie! Frankie baby, what did they say?", "FRANKIE: Ritchie's dead!", "GUIDO 1: Did you hear what he said?", "JOSEPHINE: The V?", "FRANKIE: The V! The V's dead!", "JOSEPHINE: Oh, Ritchie...Marena! Marena, someone killed Ritchie!", "GUIDETTE 1: Which Ritchie? Fat Ritchie?", "JOSEPHINE: No! Ritchie the V!", "GUIDETTE 1: Oh my God! Ritchie! Someone killed Ritchie the V!", "GUIDETTE 2: Oh no, he's freakin' out!", "GUIDETTE 3: No! Not Ritchie! (crying)", "BOOTH: Well, cat's out of the bag now.", "(More crying)", "(CUT TO: Royal Diner where BRENNAN and BOOTH are meeting with DR. LANCE SWEETS.)", "SWEETS: What these guys do is combine alcohol with, uh, highly caffeinated energy drinks containing pseudoephedrine.", "BOOTH: They have lots of posturing, muscles and fighting over girls.", "BRENNAN: Like many tribes, the markers that define a man involve s*x and violence.", "BOOTH: Look, Ritchie was hooking up with someone who was hooking with someone, that's the bottom line there. And the answer could be right in here.", "BRENNAN: These copies of his text messages just seem to be random letters. Some kind of code?", "BOOTH: Well, like TTFN.", "SWEETS: Ta-ta for now. (Booth and Brennan give him a look) I'm pretty good at these.", "BOOTH: Great, here you go, all yours. (hands him the folder of documents) Call when you're done.", "SWEETS: Okay. TTFN.", "(CUT TO: Brennan's Office, BRENNAN is working)", "HANNAH (knocks): Hey, Temperance.", "BRENNAN: Hello.", "HANNAH: Is this a bad time?", "BRENNAN: Um, for what?", "HANNAH: For us to talk?", "BRENNAN: No. No, this is a fine time for that. Come in.", "HANNAH (enters): This place is totally cool. It's like working in a spaceship.", "BRENNAN: Ah, I wouldn't know. I trained for a shuttle mission once but, never got to go.", "HANNAH: You're quite literal, aren't you?", "BRENNAN: Yes, I find I avoid a lot of misunderstandings if I merely deal with facts.", "HANNAH: Well, the reason I'm here, um, Seeley asked me to move in with him.", "BRENNAN: I can't really give you advice about that. I don't know you that well, and there are so many factors (Hannah laughs)...sexual compatibility...", "HANNAH: No. I'm doing it. I came back from Afghanistan to be with him.", "BRENNAN: Oh! Then, congratulations. You must be happy...you and Booth.", "HANNAH: Yeah, we are. But I was thinking, I wanted to get him something when I moved in, a present and...since you know him so well...", "BRENNAN: A telephone. Get him a telephone!", "HANNAH: I was thinking something a little more personal.", "BRENNAN: A vintage rotary phone. Booth loves them and hasn't been able to find the right one.", "HANNAH: Really?", "BRENNAN: Yes. He's been looking. He says that's what a phone is supposed to be...indestructible and heavy enough to knock someone out.", "HANNAH: Yeah, that, that sounds like Seeley.", "BRENNAN: His grandfather kept his rotary phone until it fell apart. Booth loved the feel of the Bakelite, the tick-tick-tick of the dial as it turned...he says the mechanics make it human.", "HANNAH: And lucky for me, he has a partner who knows him so well.", "BRENNAN: Booth and I have become very close, by necessity. Congratulations again. I'm happy for you both.", "HANNAH: Thanks. (starts to walk out of the office)", "BRENNAN: One thing, Hannah. (Hannah turns back) I want you to be sure about this.", "HANNAH: The phone?", "BRENNAN: No, although I understand the misunderstanding. No, about you and Booth moving in together. Booth will give himself to you completely. And it will be very painful for him if you aren't as serious about the relationship as he is.", "HANNAH: I am. But thanks though. You're a good friend, Temperance. Seeley's very lucky.", "(CUT TO: Bone Room)", "FISHER (examining the victim's skull): My shrink thought I should get out of the forensic anthropology business. I tried to explain its not violent death that makes me morbidly depressed, it was life.", "CAM: And he thinks that explanation shows a positive attitude?", "FISHER: Oh, I'm quite positive about my job. For example, these injuries...how cool are they? There's a perimortem bruise near the depression fracture. That must have hurt.", "CAM: Another cheery thought, once I removed the scalp, subscapular hemorrhaging was apparent.", "FISHER: That means there were two injuries to the head.", "CAM: Which means for the victim to have taken a swan dive onto the pavement, he would have had to do it twice.", "FISHER: Is there enough Red Bull and vodka in the world to explain that?", "CAM: Most likely, he was struck in the head twice by the same weapon. What did Hodgins say about the concrete sample?", "FISHER: It's called Minutecrete and it's not a match to the sample taken from the shore house.", "CAM: We should do a search for any weapons that could be made of Minutecrete. (exits)", "FISHER (to victim's skull): Don't look at me that way, dude. You don't know how good you got it.", "(CUT TO: Angela's Office, where ANGELA is eating saltines while lying down on her couch)", "CAM (enters): Angela, can you run a search on possible weapons made from Minutecrete?", "ANGELA (gets up, brushes off crumbs from her clothes): Yeah, sure.", "CAM: Something that could cause fractures and subscapular hemorrhaging oh my God.", "ANGELA: What?", "CAM: You're...", "ANGELA: Oh I'm, yeah, I'm messy. I know I shouldn't eat lying down.", "CAM: Pregnant. You're pregnant.", "ANGELA: What? Pregnant? Me?! No. No. No.", "CAM: You've got that whole glowy thing and the crackers...I mean, nobody eats crackers for pleasure.", "ANGELA: Okay, listen. I've been feeling a little bit queasy but, you cannot tell anybody about this.", "CAM: I was right! I knew it! Um...are you happy about this?", "ANGELA: Yes, we're, we're thrilled. I mean, I could be having a little Hodgins. How cute would that be?", "CAM: Oh...m-maybe you should lie down.", "ANGELA: Uh, no, I'm, I'm okay, actually I'm feeling pretty good. I can do anything, you know? I would hope that you could keep this between us because, nobody else knows.", "CAM: Oh, of course. Just you and me.", "ANGELA: Okay. I mean, you can't even tell Hodgins that you know, um, because he wants to make some sort of big announcement at the right time...?", "CAM: I-I won't breathe a word.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "CAM: Oh, I'm just so happy, this is so great, Angela, I'm...", "FISHER (enters): What is?", "CAM: That...she is...", "ANGELA: That I, I have a, um, I have a database of concrete items that can kill someone and today...is the first day that I can use it so I am...o-over the moon.", "CAM: Yes. And you shouldn't disturb her, Mr. Fisher.", "FISHER: I wanted to give you the measurements of the injuries, the dispersal of fracturing.", "ANGELA: Great! Great, fantastic.", "CAM: And I'll...go...away now. (gives Angela a big grin and exits)", "FISHER: I just can't get as stoked about work as you guys can.", "ANGELA (mutters): Okay then.", "(CUT TO: Club Elegante; BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive, with TERROR, the bouncer, outside the club)", "TERROR: Hey, whoa, put on the brakes. We're doing a list.", "BRENNAN (to Booth): Let me handle this. (to Terror, bumps shoulders with him) Yo, 'sup. Yeah. (enters the club)", "BOOTH (tries to follow): Bones, hol...", "TERROR: Hey, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, the list.", "BOOTH: FBI, okay? We're here about a murder. Listen, the victim was here at this establishment uh, with this guy. (shows Terror victim's photo) Uh, is he here tonight?", "TERROR (points out a guy): Oh yeah, he's right there, see? Him. (points to another guy) No, no, him. (points to another guy) Him?", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what, I'll tell you what, we'll go, let's go scope the place out ourselves, alright?", "TERROR: Do your thing.", "BOOTH: Yeah, whatever. (enters the club)", "(CUT TO: Inside Club Elegante. People dancing and fist-bumping.)", "BRENNAN (to Booth, points to some guidettes): Notice the two unpaired females. Their body movements and attire suggest they are available for mating.", "BOOTH: Bones, we're looking Peppy.", "BRENNAN: Oh! Over there.", "BOOTH: Where, Peppy?", "BRENNAN: No, no, two males have spotted the available females and will approach and begin the exhibition. Fascinating.", "BOOTH: Fascinating? More like pitiful.", "BRENNAN: Now the males are displaying their musculature indicating they are good breeders. These activities show that these two will soon mate and the other suitors will continue their search elsewhere.", "BOOTH: Okay, just remember, we're here looking for Peppy. (they walk up to three guidettes) Excuse me, FBI. You ladies recognize this guy?", "GUIDETTES: Uh-uh.", "(Booth and Brennan turn to look at a scuffle at the bar manned by CLINTON, the ice man)", "CLINTON: Get back here! Stop that guy! You're toast man! You're toast!", "(A guido - PEPPY DIO - holding an ice bucket laughs tauntingly at Clinton and throws ice cubes at him)", "BRENNAN: Booth, look, it's him!", "BOOTH (to Peppy): Hey you, FBI! Hold it right there!", "PEPPY: Yeah, right. (runs off)", "CLINTON (goes after Peppy, who dumps the entire ice bucket on Clinton's head): Yeah, you going to pay for that! Come on!", "(Clinton and Peppy fight on the dance floor)", "BOOTH: Hey, hey!", "(Peppy punches Clinton, turns to Booth and throws a punch at him but misses. Booth punches Peppy, who gets up and tries to get to Booth but Brennan gets between them and makes a weird fierce posturing)", "BRENNAN: This posturing is called throwing the crab, it will intimidate him into compliance.", "(Peppy looks at her, puzzled and amused)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "ACT FOUR", "(CUT TO: BOOTH and BRENNAN talking to CLINTON and PEPPY on the dance floor)", "BOOTH: Yeah, what was that about?", "CLINTON: These idiots think ice is free, and its not. They're always in my way, they never let me do my job. Look, I gotta account for every single cube.", "PEPPY: Ice is frozen water, yo. Water's free, do the math, dipstick!", "CLINTON: Put on some lipgloss, Mary!", "PEPPY: I will, 'cause your mother likes my lips soft.", "BRENNAN (to Booth): Oh, he's suggesting that he had s*x with his mother.", "BOOTH: Right, got that, Bones.", "CLINTON (to Peppy): Steroid freak.", "PEPPY (to Clinton): Who's the one who goes ballistic over water?", "CLINTON: Yeah, like you even know what ballistic means.", "BOOTH (to Clinton): You, you can go home now. Come on, go.", "PEPPY: Ballistic as in referring to from the balls!", "BRENNAN: No, that's not even close to an accurate definition. Ballistic refers to projectile in flight.", "PEPPY: So, can I make like a ballistic now?", "BOOTH: No, you cannot make like a ballistic now because you are the last person who saw Ritchie Genaro alive.", "PEPPY: Seriously, yo? Ritchie was my boy. How am I gonna kill my boy?", "BRENNAN: Knocking him over the head.", "BOOTH: You don't seem very upset.", "PEPPY: It's killing me. But I gotta keep on for Ritchie. He woulda wanted me to keep on, you feel me?", "BRENNAN: Uh, he's asking if you understand.", "BOOTH: So his mother said you guys were doing steroids.", "PEPPY: One cycle, that was all for Ritchie. And I don't use 'roids, not anymore. Ritchie got me off 'em, proved they would trick my ballistics.", "BRENNAN: So Ritchie only did anabolic steroids once?", "PEPPY: His mother would kill him, like for real.", "BOOTH: Alright, look, can you think of anyone who would want to kill Ritchie besides his mother?", "PEPPY: His stalker.", "BOOTH: Does his stalker have a name?", "PEPPY: I don't know her name...I didn't see her here tonight. I could describe her.", "BOOTH: Okay.", "PEPPY: She got dark hair, dark skin...big hair.", "BOOTH: Ah, like everybody in this club.", "BRENNAN: Would Ritchie's stalker be aggressive enough to strike him over the head hard enough to force his skull down over his spine?", "GUIDETTE 1: Shut your mouth!", "(Booth, Peppy and Brennan look at two guidettes having an argument)", "GUIDETTE 2: Skank!", "GUIDETTE 1: Ho!", "(Violent catfight ensues)", "BRENNAN: I withdraw the question.", "(CUT TO: Jeffersonian; Angela's Office, where ANGELA is presenting some figures on the Angelatron to CAM, BRENNAN and HODGINS.)", "ANGELA: Okay, comparing the concrete sample to the injuries on the victim's skull, the weapon appears to have a curved edge. Okay, completing the arc...", "CAM: The murder weapon was some sort of concrete cylinder?", "BRENNAN: With a 3.175 centimeter diameter.", "HODGINS: Like a...plumbing pipe.", "ANGELA: Yeah...or a tetherball pole.", "BRENNAN: That's so random, yo. (Everyone looks at her strangely) In the vernacular.", "(CUT TO: FBI Conference Room)", "SWEETS: While I was studying all the text messages, I created this overview of what Dr. Brennan calls the tribe, seen through digital lines of communication. This is our victim. (points to a picture on the diagram he made)", "BOOTH: Ritchie the V...he texted all these women?", "SWEETS: Yeah, and these are women who texted other men.", "BOOTH: Oh, it's like jealousy map. Good work.", "SWEETS: Thank you. So, look at what I stumbled across. A week before the victim was murdered, over 200 texts were exchanged between the victim and a woman named Marie Galasso. (points out Marie Galasso)", "BOOTH: Hmm. Arrow slash three?", "SWEETS: Oh, that means a broken heart.", "BOOTH: M I 2 M 2 H 6y?", "SWEETS: Am I too much to handle, sexy?", "BOOTH: So they were together once and she expected more.", "SWEETS: Y RNT U D 4 6. Why aren't you down for s*x? And then there's this one, 2 G 2 B 4G. Too good to be forgotten. So this is where it gets really ugly. Ritchie texts Marie that she was just a grenade.", "BOOTH: A grenade?", "SWEETS: Yeah, a grenade is an overweight undesirable woman that one must jump on so a friend can get with the prettier girl.", "BOOTH: Oh.", "SWEETS: Now this really set Marie off. She calls him a bunch of curse words, some of which I had to look up.", "BOOTH: Sounds like motive to me.", "SWEETS: Yeah, and after that, Ritchie texts his friends wherever he's headed to find out if she's gonna be there.", "BOOTH: So she was stalking him.", "SWEETS: Check this out. UL B SRY. You'll be sorry. Followed by U R GNG 2 DI.", "BOOTH: You are going...", "SWEETS: You are going to die.", "BOOTH: 4Q.", "SWEETS: I think that's pretty self-explanatory.", "ACT FIVE", "(CUT TO: FBI Interrogation Room with BOOTH and MARIE GALASSO, who was pacing)", "BOOTH: Why don't you just sit down, Marie?", "MARIE: No! I ain't tired.", "BOOTH: How is that, uh, a little thing like you could kidnap a strong guy like Ritchie. What happened? Did you find him with another woman?", "MARIE: I ain't saying nothing.", "BOOTH: Okay, \"I ain't saying nothing\" means you're guilty.", "MARIE: No, I ain't saying nothing not 'cause I'm guilty. I ain't not saying nothing because I loved him. I loved Ritchie and he loved me, okay? I'm not just some Shore-whore. We had plans. Now Ritchie wasn't just some guido, okay? He was going to school to be a therapist. He was gonna do stuff and be somebody and like that, okay? I knew him on a very deep level. He was no juicehead and no knucklehead. He was a gentleman.", "BOOTH: Okay, I get it. He was a gentleman. Why don't you just sit down and just relax. (Marie sits down; Booth sighs) Now, let's say you didn't kill him.", "MARIE (gets up again): I didn't kill him! I loved him! You know what, you wanna put me in prison for love, go ahead, okay? I'm guilty as charged, sweetheart.", "BOOTH: You said you knew him on a deep level.", "MARIE: Yes, I did.", "BOOTH: Okay, so why is he dead? Was he afraid of someone?", "MARIE (laughs): That's funny. Ritchie the V...feared no man. But there was somebody scared of him, maybe wanted him quiet.", "BOOTH: Who?", "MARIE: The trainor at the gym who was selling 'roids, 'kay? Ritchie busted the guy.", "BOOTH: Does this guy have a name?", "MARIE: They call him Terror. He works the door at Club Elegante.", "BOOTH: Right.", "(CUT TO: FBI - Booth's Office)", "BOOTH (sees SWEETS enter): Hey, Sweets, turns out our victim Ritchie ratted out a steroid dealer. (Sweets closes Booth's door) That same dealer works as a bouncer at Club Elegante. Why'd you shut the door?", "SWEETS: Well, I have to speak to you, Agent Booth.", "BOOTH: Okay, that tone of voice says that you want to speak at me.", "SWEETS: I hear that you asked Hannah to move in with you?", "BOOTH: So?", "SWEETS: As your friend...", "BOOTH: This, this isn't a shrinky visit?", "SWEETS: No.", "BOOTH: So from one friend to another, I'm fine, everything's great. Nothing to worry about.", "SWEETS: Okay, there might be a little shrinky stuff, because that's who I am.", "BOOTH (walks to the door): Yeah, okay, thanks, friend.", "(They both walk to the elevator)", "SWEETS: You know, the relationship that you and Hannah have, it was forged in a highly adrenalized environment.", "BOOTH: Well, yeah, we were in war together. I mean, our relationship was literally battle-tested.", "SWEETS: Right. But a new environment, you know, a calmer one with fewer distractions, it alters your dynamic. I just don't want you to jump into something too soon.", "BOOTH: I really appreciate it, Sweets, but Hannah is bringing all of her stuff over tonight. I even went and I got her some bathroom stuff, a set of new sheets. I mean, what kind of guy does something that crazy if he isn't sure?", "SWEETS: Hard to argue with that. (Booth enters the elevator) I just had to say something, you know?", "BOOTH: Yeah, you're a good kid. (elevator door closes)", "SWEETS: Oh boy.", "(CUT TO: Jeffersonian; Bone Room)", "FISHER: I was looking at bone fragments from the top of the skull when I found these. I'm taking out the remaining sliver that was buried in the fractures. (HODGINS magnifies the thing that Fisher found on the monitor) Well, it's not bone.", "HODGINS: No, some kind of yellow polymer. Its possibly polyvinyl chloride or polytetrafluoroethylene.", "FISHER: So he had concrete and plastic in his head. (yawns)", "HODGINS: Oh no. Uh, you okay?", "FISHER: Are you gonna ask me that every time I yawn?", "HODGINS: Possibly. I don't want you to fall asleep again for another two months, Van Winkle.", "FISHER: Alright.", "HODGINS: I'm gonna figure out where this plastic is from. It might help Angela narrow down the murder weapon", "FISHER (yawns): Okay.", "(CUT TO: Inside Club Elegante, which is empty)", "BOOTH (to Brennan): So when Ritchie ratted out Terror for selling drugs, he lost his job at the gym, all of his clients, it was a mess.", "TERROR (enters): Can I help you?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Why don't you tell us what happened between you and your buddy Ritchie. I'm guessing that didn't go very well since he's dead.", "TERROR: I don't have to say nothin'. I'm the doorman of this establishment so I'm gonna ask you guys to leave.", "BOOTH: I wouldn't be acting like bouncer right now.", "BRENNAN (notices the door to the storage room was open): Booth, the storage room. (starts to walk to the storage room)", "TERROR (stops Brennan): Hey, hey, hey! No.", "BOOTH: Whoa! (into Terror's face) Did you just shove my partner?", "TERROR: You're all bad with a gun and a badge, but you won't always be on duty, you know what I'm saying?", "BOOTH: No, I don't know what you're saying. Why don't you spell it out for me?", "TERROR: I mean, watch your back.", "BRENNAN: Oh, no, (Booth starts taking off his suit jacket) you, you shouldn't threaten Agent Booth, he can be very male.", "BOOTH: I don't like walking around looking over my shoulder, huh? (hands Brennan his gun) So what do you say we do this right now, hmm?", "TERROR: Alright, li-listen, my boss holds me responsible for everything in that storage room. I wasn't looking for trouble.", "BOOTH: You're not looking for trouble? He's not looking for trouble. (Brennan gives him back his gun and suit jacket) Which means you are giving Bones permission to go look in the storage room. Bones? BRENNAN (walks to the storage room, notices something): Booth?", "BOOTH: Yeah?", "BRENNAN: Look, yellow plastic and concrete.", "ACT SIX", "(CUT TO: FBI Interrogation Room, where BOOTH is interrogating TERROR)", "TERROR: Fine, whatever. Yeah, Ritchie ratted on me and I was pissed, but I didn't kill him. Is this really necessary?", "BOOTH: Then where were you last Thursday night?", "TERROR: At work.", "BOOTH: No, you weren't at work.", "TERROR: I didn't kill Ritchie the V.", "BOOTH: Then where were you? You know, if I were you, I'd plead road rage.", "TERROR: I got an alibi.", "BOOTH: You can't just have an alibi, you gotta share it with the world.", "TERROR: I took my Ma up to New York to see Billy Elliot.", "BOOTH: Billy Elliot?", "TERROR: Yeah, the boy that dances, yeah.", "BOOTH (trying not to laugh): You like musicals.", "TERROR: That's why I wasn't forthcoming about my alibi. There's some joys in life you wanna keep to yourself.", "BOOTH: Billy Elliot is a joy?", "TERROR: Its beautiful, dude. The boy is an angel.", "BOOTH: Right. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna find somebody who knows the show and you're gonna tell it to them, the whole story. Then we'll see if you really saw Billy Elliot with your mother.", "TERROR: Oh, I can perform the whole thing. Word for word.", "(CUT TO: Angela's Office, where ANGELA is presenting something on the Angelatron to FISHER and HODGINS)", "ANGELA: This plastic sliver is curved, just like the Minutecrete was.", "HODGINS: Well, they look pretty close.", "FISHER: Oh, so close.", "HODGINS: Okay, both fragments were in the skull wound, but how did they get there if they weren't part of the same weapon?", "ANGELA: Yeah, that's a good question. Well, since the plastic doesn't fit inside the circle, how about trying it on the outside?", "FISHER: Okay, that worked.", "HODGINS: Yeah, alright, great, then what did we just find out?", "ANGELA: Plastic-covered cement.", "HODGINS: Concrete. Uh, I'm just being precise. You know, cement is the ingredient in concrete that keeps everything kind of together?", "FISHER: Right! Uh, right...like...ugh, I totally suck.", "(CUT TO: BOOTH and BRENNAN walking to Royal Diner) BOOTH: Terror told the whole story of Billy Elliot. He even teared up a couple of times.", "BRENNAN: Well, it is a touching story of triumph over background and adversity.", "BOOTH: Well, his mom even backed him up, saying they even had receipts. (they enter the Royal Diner)", "BRENNAN: You don't think he did it.", "BOOTH: The whole timeline doesn't add up. Let's sit over here.", "BRENNAN: Okay, Ritchie's friends say he disappeared on Thursday.", "BOOTH: Right, so, and the body was found buried in sand the next Monday.", "BRENNAN: Cam and Hodgins say that the body only took two days to decompose.", "BOOTH: Exactly. So either they're wrong or...", "BRENNAN: ...two days remain unaccounted for.", "BOOTH: Okay, Squints could have gotten it wrong.", "BRENNAN (shakes finger at Booth): Uh-uh. Uh-uh.", "BOOTH Don't do that. Don't do that. What?", "BRENNAN: I have an idea of how those two days went missing. I have to call Fisher.", "(CUT TO: Bone Room, where FISHER is working)", "CAM (enters): What are you doing?", "FISHER: Dr. Brennan had some kind of a brainstorm and it looks like she was right.", "CAM: You say that like its bad news.", "FISHER: I should've thought of it!", "CAM: O-kay. First, tell me the brainstorm.", "FISHER: Well, note the microfractures in the Haversian canals.", "CAM: Yes. From a blow to the skull?", "FISHER: These are from the victim's femur. The victim was frozen for two days!", "CAM: That's what caused the microfractures. (Fisher yawns) No, why are you yawning? Are you depre...don't yawn.", "FISHER: I suck.", "CAM: How long ago did Dr. Brennan have her brainstorm?", "FISHER: About 45 minutes ago.", "CAM: So basically, you're 45 minutes behind arguably the greatest forensic anthropologist in the nation?", "FISHER: That's one way to look at it, but...", "CAM: I'm not a psychiatrist but it seems to me that if your shrink says look on the bright side, he means give yourself the benefit of the doubt.", "FISHER: Yeah?", "CAM: Yeah. (something occurs to her) The victim was killed, and then frozen?", "FISHER: Apparently.", "CAM: Put on ice?", "FISHER: Metaphorically speaking.", "CAM: Or not. (exits)", "FISHER: What do you, what do you mean, \"or not\"? What? What did I miss? No, what did I miss?! (yawns)", "(CUT TO: BRENNAN and BOOTH gets out of the SUV and walks to the back entrance of Club Elegante, where an ice truck is parked)", "BRENNAN: Studies have shown that when frozen properly, a body's cell deterioration stops, and can be held in that state nearly indefinitely. But in order to avoid microfractures, when a person wants to be preserved cryogenically, they need to be flash-frozen.", "BOOTH: I get it, Bones.", "BRENNAN: I should have seen it earlier because when a body is frozen slowly, the decomposition rate speeds up as the body thaws.", "(They notice CLINTON pounding the ice with a yellow bat)", "BOOTH (takes away the bat from Clinton): Hey! (shows the bat to Brennan) Bones?", "BRENNAN: Look, plastic filled with concrete. That's the murder weapon.", "BOOTH (to Clinton): You killed the wrong guy.", "CLINTON: What do you mean?", "BOOTH: Ritchie the V didn't steal your ice. It was his roommate.", "BRENNAN: They were wearing the same shirt.", "BOOTH: You and Peppy were hollering at each other, he takes off, you see Ritchie in the same shirt.", "BRENNAN: Maybe you threaten him with your wiffle bat.", "BOOTH: He doesn't know that the bat's filled with cement, he comes at you...", "BRENNAN: You hit him twice.", "BOOTH: Then you put him on ice for two days, then you bury him at the beach.", "CLINTON: I'm just trying to make a living. You know what it's like? To be overrun by these morons? Every delivery they screw with me, take my ice...I lost it.", "BOOTH: No, Peppy is a real douche, and I'm sure he's got his beatings coming to him down the line, but Ritchie? Ritchie was a good guy. All he was doing was looking for a good time up at the Jersey Shore.", "CLINTON: What can I say? They all look alike.", "(CUT TO: Booth's Apartment, where BRENNAN, CAM, HANNAH and ANGELA are drinking and laughing at the living room)", "BRENNAN: When you said you didn't need us to help you move in, I thought you were merely being polite.", "HANNAH: I don't really do that.", "CAM: I'm still...this is everything you own in the world? (gestures to Hannah's bags)", "HANNAH: Mhmm. It's the life I choose.", "(BOOTH enters)", "ANGELA: Yeah, she travels light. I used to travel light.", "BRENNAN: Booth won't even have to make room for you.", "ANGELA (notices Booth): Hey, man of the house, come on in. Pretend you live here.", "BOOTH (looks at them, puzzled): Hi. What's going on?", "HANNAH: Oh my God. Did you not mean it when you said I could move in?", "BOOTH: No, uh, yes, I wanted you to move in.", "BRENNAN: We offered to help her, but...", "CAM: This is everything. (gestures at Hannah's bags)", "ANGELA: You're basically taking in a homeless woman.", "HANNAH: I prefer the term nomad.", "ANGELA: I used to be a nomad...who drank wine.", "BOOTH: You don't drink wine anymore?", "ANGELA: Um...", "BOOTH (looks at Hannah, Brennan, then Angela): No. (looks at Cam)", "CAM (nods smilingly): And he just got it.", "BOOTH: Hey, congratulations! That's so great! (hugs Angela)", "ANGELA: Listen, you have to act surprised when Hodgins tells you, okay?", "BOOTH: Promise. You're gonna be a great mom.", "ANGELA: Thank you.", "CAM: Oh, speaking of which, I've gotta get home to Michelle and I don't want to reek of wine.", "ANGELA: Yeah, I should probably get home to Mr. Hodgins.", "CAM: Bye, guys. (exits)", "HANNAH: Bye.", "BOOTH: Congratulations.", "ANGELA: Thank you. (to Cam) Hey, wait for me. (exits)", "BOOTH: Okay. (to Hannah) Welcome home. (looks at the phone with a red bow) What's that?", "HANNAH: Oh, it's a housewarming gift. A Bakelite. Original. Do you like it? BOOTH (tries the phone, hears the dial tone): Hey, it's a real one! (Brennan smiles at his reaction)", "HANNAH: Temperance told me that you liked them, so...", "BOOTH: No, I love it. Thanks. (moves to kiss Hannah)", "HANNAH and BRENNAN: You're welcome.", "BOOTH: That's...great. BRENNAN (gets up from the couch to leave): See you tomorrow.", "(Booth and Hannah turn to her)", "BOOTH: Oh.", "HANNAH: Oh, no, stay. Do you want to join us for dinner?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I can make my famous mac 'n cheese.", "BRENNAN: No, traditionally, when two people share a domicile for the first time, the person who doesn't, leaves.", "HANNAH: Thanks for your help.", "(Brennan walks to the door, Booth follows her)", "BOOTH: Hey, Bones. I'll see you tomorrow.", "BRENNAN: Yes. Tomorrow.", "(They give each other a look with a slight smile on their faces. Brennan closes the door.)" ]

[ "After a skull and decomposing hands are found in a dumpster, the team must not only solve the crime but also search for the rest of the victim's remains. Identified as Ray Raminsky, the victim turns out to be a bounty hunter in search of Charles Braverman, a man indicted for the murder of a co-worker. Meanwhile, Brennan is asked by Professor Bunsen Jude \"The Science Dude\" if he can shoot an episode of his children's show from The Jeffersonian Lab with Brennan as his special guest. Brennan initially turns him down, but is surprised when he makes her a deal she can't refuse, so she takes him on as a new \"squintern.\" As the team pieces together the details of the crime, they discover that they are not alone in the hunt for Braverman and find themselves in a chase with an unexpected suspect." ]

[ "ACT ONE", "(Night. Two FREEGANS walk down a deserted alley to an open dumpster.)", "FREEGAN #1: So, I've been a freegan for about a year now. Fact, if Al Gore really cared about the environment, he'd live out of dumpsters.", "FREEGAN #2: You should like, totally be in charge of the Earth.", "FREEGAN #1: Don't I know it. This is a primo dumpster. Two restaurants and a convenience store use it. You're the only person I've ever brought here.", "FREEGAN #2: Nobody's taken me out to dinner in like, forever.", "(They kiss.)", "FREEGAN #1: We are going to indulge in a freakin' feast, my lady. Hop in.", "FREEGAN #2: Okay.", "(They both enter the dumpster.)", "FREEGAN #1: Fact, \"best before dates\" are just marketing tools to increase profits and make more garbage to feed the corporate monster. Oh look, eggs! And some apples. Just... just eat around the bruised part.", "FREEGAN #2: (bites into an apple) Mmm. This is like throwing out a baby.", "FREEGAN #1: I feel so close to you right now.", "FREEGAN #2: Oh! Look at all the yogurt and the veggies.", "FREEGAN #1: Wait a minute, do you smell that? There's something choice down there. You learn to recognize scents like a wine guy. It could be meat. Fact, if you cook it through, it's fine. Mmm, it's meat.", "(Pulls out a skull and both scream.)", "(Cut to: BRENNAN's car.)", "BOOTH: Hmm, the perfect murder?", "BRENNAN: I'm a forensic anthropologist. It would be odd if I didn't consider the perfect murder. First consideration, complete annihilation of the body. No body, no murder. Perfect.", "BOOTH: Why are we talking about this?", "BRENNAN: My car. I choose the topic of conversation. Also, my car achieves excellent gas mileage. Currently, fifty-one miles per gallon.", "BOOTH: Okay, you win. So, let's talk about the perfect murder.", "BRENNAN: Of course at this point, I'm simply being theoretical.", "BOOTH: What do you... what do you mean \"at this point\"?", "BRENNAN: Well there's so many variables in a person's life, it would be irrational to completely rule out the possibility of murdering someone.", "BOOTH: No it's not. You say \"I'm never gonna murder someone\".", "BRENNAN: I don't believe in absolutes.", "BOOTH: Scary, you know what? You're really scaring me right now.", "BRENNAN: Because you know that if I did commit murder, you'd never be able to catch me.", "BOOTH: (chuckles) I could catch you.", "BRENNAN: No, my plan is foolproof.", "BOOTH: Oh, now it's an actual plan.", "(Cut to: Crime scene. CAM and several FBI TECHs are on the scene.)", "BOOTH: Now this is a good place to dispose of a body. Trash men, they come every other day and it's off to a landfill, body never to be seen.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps.", "BOOTH: There is no perfect murder. It's chance and luck.", "BRENNAN: My plan is perfect.", "BOOTH: Look, if you can plan the perfect murder, so can I. I can too. Yeah okay, what's this? That's it?", "CAM: This is everything we found in the dumpster. The head and hands.", "BOOTH: Who found it?", "CAM: A couple of dumpster divers.", "BOOTH: Dumpster divers.", "BRENNAN: The prominent glabellas suggests the victim is male.", "BOOTH: Whoa, Hodgins is gonna love that. Okay, what is that, some kind of a bird's nest?", "CAM: It's the victim's hair.", "BOOTH: Wow, was he scalped?", "CAM: The teeth have been shattered most likely in an effort to obfuscate identity.", "BOOTH: Well you know, the dumpster will cause the guy to decompose pretty good too.", "BRENNAN: You should keep in mind when you plan your own murder.", "CAM: Anything I should know, Seeley?", "BOOTH: No, Camille.", "BRENNAN: (to an FBI TECH) I'll need you to separate out all fragments of remains from the refuse.", "CAM: You think the rest of him is in here?", "BRENNAN: I doubt it. Based on these striations on the distal end of the ulna, it's clear the hands were sawed off. Overall I must say this was a well-conceived method for disposal.", "BOOTH: Right, is that how you would do it?", "BRENNAN: I'm sorry I can't share my murder plans with you.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN. You are dating a journalist. If in a post-coital haze, you relayed my method, she might print it for killers everywhere to see.", "BOOTH: Right, because you know, dismemberment and murder is my topic of conversation after s*x.", "CAM: There is something unusual about the phalanges, Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: (picks up the remains of a hand) A flattened exostosis on the first metacarpal and proximal phalanx.", "BOOTH: That, you know, I know what that is.", "CAM: You do?", "BOOTH: Yeah an old ranger buddy of mine had the same injury. He got it from shooting a Desert Eagle Handgun.", "CAM: You think he's military?", "BOOTH: No, the victim definitely had a thing for big guns.", "BRENNAN: The evidence is consistent with your theory.", "BOOTH: That's right, you see 'cause I always get my man.", "BRENNAN: I am a woman.", "(Opening credits.)", "ACT TWO", "(Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab, forensics platform. BRENNAN is examining the remains as CAM and BUNSEN JUDE walk up.)", "CAM: Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: Yes, Dr. Saroyan?", "CAM: Is this a good time to interrupt?", "BRENNAN: Since you've already interrupted me, I think it's the best possible time to interrupt.", "CAM: Good, I wanna introduce you to someone.", "BRENNAN: Who?", "CAM: Before I tell you his name, I want you to understand that he is in fact (BUNSEN JUDE waves) very well educated with several advanced degrees.", "BRENNAN: Why does he look like that?", "CAM: Because he's the Science Dude. Professor Bunsen Jude, the Science Dude.", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.", "CAM: Uh, he's got his own kid's science show on TV, about science. The Science Dude.", "BRENNAN: As I am no longer a child, I don't really watch those.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Dr. Brennan, I am Professor Bunsen Jude the Science Dude. (extends his hand, but BRENNAN is wearing gloves and waves him away.) I'm very happy to meet you. I hope we can be friends.", "BRENNAN: Nice to meet you, Dude.", "BUNSEN JUDE: (looks around the lab) Amazing!", "CAM: The professor has a proposition for you.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Ah, yes. I would like to shoot a special episode of my show here in your lab with you as my very special science guest.", "BRENNAN: No.", "CAM: Dr. Brennan, this would be very good for the Jeffersonian.", "BRENNAN: The Jeffersonian is over a century and a half old. I doubt my appearance on a mere children's show will have much effect.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Dr. Brennan, my show is not mere. Do you have any idea how many children I have introduced to the world of science?", "BRENNAN: No.", "CAM: Oh, millions and millions.", "BRENNAN: I am a serious scientist.", "BUNSEN JUDE: I hold degrees in astrophysics, anatomy, chemistry and economics.", "BRENNAN: Children are not rigorous when it comes to empirical inquiry. They mostly enjoy bad smells and loud noises.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Well, who doesn't like that?", "(BRENNAN returns to examining the remains. BUNSEN JUDE and CAM begin to walk away.)", "CAM: I'm sorry Professor.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Alright, wait, wait. (to BRENNAN) How about I prove myself to you? I'll assist you in this case. If I'm useful, then you do my show.", "CAM: Dr. Brennan, you could use a second pair of eyes. We happen to be squintern free.", "BUNSEN JUDE: There you go. I will be your squintern.", "BRENNAN: Alright (motions to the remains on the table).", "BUNSEN JUDE: Okay. Amazing!", "BRENNAN: What do you observe?", "BUNSEN JUDE: (puts on gloves) Uh, well uh, this is a cut off head. Those are hands and that there is his hair.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps I should've specified that you tell me something pertinent.", "BUNSEN JUDE: May I? (uses tweezers to take a sample and places it under a microscope) As you can see from the deltoid appearance, this tells us this is not head hair.", "CAM: Oh god! You mean it's...", "BUNSEN JUDE: What? From, no no... no. That would really be a lot. I think it's, it's head hair but it's not from the top of the head. It's from his chin and cheeks.", "BRENNAN: Dude is correct.", "CAM: A beard. That's better than...", "(BUNSEN JUDE looks uncomfortable, sick.)", "BRENNAN: It's alright to vomit, Dude.", "BUNSEN JUDE: When science gets icky, it's alright to be si... (vomits into a trash can).", "(Cut to: ANGELA's office. A facial reconstruction is on the monitor. CAM walks in.)", "CAM: Wow, mean looking.", "ANGELA: What's really scary though, is that there's somebody out there even worse who cut off his head and hands.", "CAM: One little detail. This hair, not from his head. It's his beard.", "ANGELA: Ah, no problemo. (modifies the facial reconstruction) Okay, voila.", "CAM: Okay. Well let's get this to Booth. See if anyone's missing this guy.", "(Cut to: FBI Building, BOOTH's office. GERING is seated as BOOTH enters.)", "BOOTH: Mr. Gering.", "GERING: Yeah. Greg Gering, Gering Bail Bonds.", "BOOTH: Yeah right, yeah, look at that. I recognize you from all those billboards I see all over the place. So my people tell me you can identify this missing person.", "GERING: Yeah, this is Ray. Ray Kaminsky aka Wolf.", "BOOTH: Wolf? You guys put up bail for him?", "GERING: No, Wolf was one of the good guys, or almost a good guy. He's a skip tracer.", "BOOTH: Bounty hunter.", "GERING: Fully licensed, very experienced, one of my best. You sure he's dead?", "BOOTH: Oh yeah.", "GERING: Hard to believe somebody got the drop on the Wolf.", "BOOTH: Was he after anyone in particular?", "GERING: Yup, nutcase named Charles Braverman, indicted for the murder of a co-worker. Here. (hands Booth a file) Jammed a mechanical pencil through the guy's eye for singing show tunes at his desk.", "BOOTH: (opens the file) Guy looks like an accountant. He's 5'-7\" and only 142 pounds.", "GERING: Charles Manson was 5'-2\". Jeffrey Dahmer couldn't bench press his own weight. You've been in this business as long as I have, you come to judge how dangerous a man is by the size of his bail.", "BOOTH: How much?", "GERING: Million bucks. That's why I sent my best guy after him.", "BOOTH: The Wolf.", "BOOTH: Well thanks for these.", "(Holds out Gering Bail Bonds business cards.)", "GERING: Those are for you. You can maybe hand them out to everybody you arrest.", "BOOTH: Why would I do that?", "GERING: Because I am the picture of cooperation, provided you with a murder suspect.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab, Ookey Room. HODGINS is at work while BUNSEN JUDE enters.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Excuse me, Dr. Hodgins.", "HODGINS: Yeah. (turns and sees BUNSEN JUDE) Whoa, Professor Bunsen Jude the Science Dude! Hey man, it is an honor to meet you (they shake hands).", "BUNSEN JUDE: Thank you. Dr. Brennan sent me to...", "HODGINS: (interrupts) Observe, analyze...", "HODGINS & BUNSEN JUDE: (in unison) Deduce!", "BUNSEN JUDE: No offense Dr. Hodgins, but you're a little older than my usual viewers.", "HODGINS: When I was in college, we used to have this drinking game, every time you said the word \"Amazing!\", we (brings an empty beaker to his mouth and mimics drinking) we... well anyway, I'm very familiar with your work.", "BUNSEN JUDE: I'm pitching in to help Dr. Brennan. She sent me to see if you found anything out from the beard.", "(HODGINS motions towards the victim's beard, tacked onto a board.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Yucky.", "HODGINS: Yeah so, observe. Insects, various mineral particulates, mucus.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Bugs, dirt, snot. Is that blood?", "HODGINS: Analyze. It's barbeque sauce. More specifically, a vinegar and tomato based sauce most commonly found in western Virginia.", "BUNSEN JUDE: You're thinking you can trace his location before he passed away from the clues in his beard.", "HODGINS: Yes I do. Deduce!", "BUNSEN JUDE: Amazing!", "(HODGINS brings a beaker to his mouth and downs its contents. He makes a face and coughs afterwards.)", "(Cut to: Outside, reflecting pool. BOOTH and BRENNAN are seated on a bench, eating lunch)", "BOOTH: Listen, why don't you want to do a kids' show?", "BRENNAN: It's a waste of my time.", "BOOTH: It's a science show.", "BRENNAN: Kids' science.", "BOOTH: Parker loves that show. He's always watching it. He's always shouting out that slogan, \"Ready, Aim, Fire!\"", "BRENNAN: (corrects him) \"Observe, Analyze, Deduce\".", "BOOTH: Alright look, the whole point with the kids' show is you have an opportunity to you know, brainwash a bunch of normal kids into geeks, you know, future squints.", "BRENNAN: I'd be more likely to scare them away.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: People should stick to their strengths.", "BOOTH: Well, you know, people should expand, I mean, expansion is good. They should grow. You believe in evolution, right?", "BRENNAN: If I didn't, I'd have to believe that early humans co-existed with dinosaurs. To believe that, I'd have to be dim witted.", "BOOTH: (in a serious tone) Ah, cave men fought the Tyrannosaurus Rex. That's a fact.", "BRENNAN: I can't tell if you're joking. (her phone rings) I hope you are. Oh, it's Angela. (answers) Hello?", "ANGELA: (on speakerphone) Hodgins and that Dr. Amazing...", "BRENNAN: (to Booth) Angela means Science Dude.", "ANGELA: (on speakerphone) Yeah, they ran an analysis on the contents of the victim's beard.", "BOOTH: Beard? Why the beard?", "ANGELA: (on speakerphone) It was full of stuff.", "BOOTH: Stuff?", "BRENNAN: Could you be more specific?", "ANGELA: (on speakerphone) Okay well, there were needles from the red spruce, which means he was at an altitude higher than 4,300 feet and the leg from a rare bug called the emerald ash borer.", "BOOTH: How rare is that?", "ANGELA: (on speakerphone) Rare enough that when it's combined with altitude and a not so secret barbeque sauce made by Ollie's BBQ in western Virginia, you're left with a half mile stretch off the 250 highway where the victim had to be shortly before being killed.", "BRENNAN: That's very good work Angela. Thank you. (hangs up) You're going to need Tuttie for this one.", "BOOTH: Tuttie?", "(Cut to: Woods. BOOTH follows TUTTI, the cadaver dog and her handler, MACGREGOR)", "MACGREGOR: If there's a dead body out here, Tutti will find it.", "BOOTH: Maybe Tutti's gotten smart, right, and realized it's best just to avoid dead bodies' smell altogether.", "MACGREGOR: I mean, this body could be in bits right?", "BOOTH: Could be. All we found were the head and the hands.", "MACGREGOR: Somebody try to make it harder to identify the victim?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Ok, so...", "(TUTTI sits then lays down.)", "BOOTH: That's it for Tutti? That's all she's got?", "MACGREGOR: No, that's how Tutti indicates. You dig there, you'll find human body parts or my name isn't Maggie MacGregor!", "BOOTH: Maybe you can get her to dig too?", "(Cut to: Later in the woods. An open excavation with human remains.)", "CAM: Headless, handless, right stage of decomposition, I'd say you found the rest of our victim.", "BOOTH: More bones for Bones to work on.", "(CAROLINE JULIAN walks up with two FBI AGENTS)", "CAROLINE: Excuse me, what in god's name are you people planting up here at this time of year?", "BOOTH: What are you doing here?", "CAROLINE: These agents are surveilling a cabin just over there and reported suspicious activity. (looks down at the bones) A moldering dead body counts as suspicious.", "CAM: These are most likely the remains of a bounty hunter named Ray Kaminsky.", "CAROLINE: Bounty hunter? By any chance was he in pursuit of a fugitive named Charles Braverman?", "BOOTH: Yeah, he's out on bail for murder. Looks like the bounty hunter chased Braverman out to his cabin and Braverman took him out.", "CAROLINE: It gets worse. Braverman's wife was slated to be a material witness against her husband.", "CAM: Was?", "CAROLINE: She's gone missing. That's why we put that place under surveillance. Too late, it appears. Maybe there are two bodies out here.", "BOOTH: Nah, I scoured this whole area with Tutti, you know the cadaver dog.", "CAROLINE: Well, all we can do is hope that Molly Braverman is out there somewhere hiding from her homicidal, maniac husband.", "BOOTH: I'll find her for you.", "CAROLINE: Ah, cherie. I love it when you sing that song.", "BOOTH: Haha.", "CAROLINE: (glances down at the bones) Ew!", "ACT THREE", "(Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab, forensics platform.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Alright everyone, are we wearing our masks and gloves? Health and safety first.", "(HODGINS and CAM look at him quizzically.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Really, that's how you roll? Alright.", "(They open the body bag to reveal the victim's remains.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Human remains, rotting. The medical term that describes the condition of this flesh is... anybody, anybody?", "(HODGINS raises his hand)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Yes?", "HODGINS: Ah, it's gooey.", "BUNSEN JUDE. Good. That's not exactly what I was looking for.", "CAM: Decomposed due to autolysis, the destruction of cells as a result of an aseptic chemical process.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Amazing! But you had me at \"decomposed\".", "HODGINS: Okay, okay ask something else.", "CAM: (raises her hand) I'd like to know how this person died.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Dr. Saroyan is the boss. We must always respect our superiors and our mom and dad. That's why I tell kids to ask first before removing simple household items when doing an experiment.", "(HODGINS clears his throat and nods toward the remains.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Cause of death (moves the magnifying lens over a section of the remains). And there it is, the cause of death.", "CAM: Just like that?", "BUNSEN JUDE: Yes. (points to the screen) Bowing inward fracture. Fracture lines indicating high velocity trauma, most likely a gunshot.", "HODGINS: You'd throw it to a cartoon now, right? To explain velocity.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Captain Speedy falling off the cliff, explaining velocity is the rate of change of displacement with time!", "HODGINS: I love Captain Speedy!", "CAM: The trajectory is a straight shot to the heart. Fatal.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Which is sad but amazing.", "HODGINS: Amazing.", "(Cut to: FBI building. SWEETS and BOOTH look at MOLLY's DMV picture on the monitor.)", "SWEETS: So Braverman and Molly were high school sweethearts. No reports of spousal abuse.", "BOOTH: So?", "SWEETS: He's considered a martinet at the workplace, control freak.", "BOOTH: Not at home?", "SWEETS: More likely, Molly successfully subjugated her own personality and desires to her husband.", "BOOTH: The why did she agree to testify against him?", "SWEETS: (shrugs) Chance to be free.", "BOOTH: Free? Huh, she's free now.", "SWEETS: Yeah, but she won't be on her own. I mean, she's not prepared to cope.", "BOOTH: Okay, so we're looking for someone who took her in. A friend or a family member.", "SWEETS: No, no she won't have any friends. Braverman wouldn't have allowed it.", "BOOTH: Sweets?", "SWEETS: Yeah?", "BOOTH: Not by herself, not with a friend. Then what's left?", "SWEETS: Surrogates.", "BOOTH: People who have babies for other people?", "SWEETS: No, no, no. Someone that she comes into contact with in a formal way like an employee.", "BOOTH: Oh right, or a housekeeper or a tax adviser or a personal trainer.", "SWEETS: Yes, exactly. Look for someone that she overcompensates or uh, utilizes more often than she needs to.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab, forensics platform. BRENNAN swipes her card and walks up.)", "BRENNAN: Dude, Dr. Saroyan tells me that you determined cause of death.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Keen observation and careful thought are traits that are as valuable as kindness, understanding and compassion.", "BRENNAN: Much more valuable, actually.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Well I try to promote all the traits which make for a good citizen.", "(Close-up of a rib on the monitor. BRENNAN and BUNSEN JUDE look on.)", "BRENNAN: I agree substantial damage has been done to this rib. Do you have an explanation for the fact that the two sides of the rib failed to match?", "BUNSEN JUDE: I miss something?", "BRENNAN: (points) The two sides of the fracture. There's a gap of at least seven millimeters, which is unaccounted for.", "BUNSEN JUDE: I missed it entirely but there's no shame in making a mistake.", "BRENNAN: If you're a child. But here that kind of carelessness could lead to a murderer escaping.", "BUNSEN JUDE: And as the old adage goes, if at first you don't succeed you pick yourself up and ignoring all the doomsayers and mopey dopes, you try again. (uses tweezers, picks up a fragment and examines it closely) Amazing. Now the only component that's evading us is the bullet that caused this injury.", "BRENNAN: No, that is not the only component evading us.", "(BRENNAN leaves.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to: ANGELA's office. CAM enters.)", "CAM: What've we got?", "BRENNAN: I've asked Angela to create a re-enactment of the victim's death.", "ANGELA: I'm just inputting the data now.", "CAM: (to BRENNAN) Professor Jude turned out to be quite impressive, didn't he?", "BRENNAN: Well, if you're six years old.", "CAM: A kind mind is a fine mind. (BRENNAN makes a face) It's just that stuff gets into your head and... go Angela.", "(Computer shows a rendering of the victim's injuries.)", "ANGLEA: As you can see, the victim was struck in the left fourth rib with a blow that was powerful enough not only to fracture the rib but also dislodge a portion of the bone.", "BRENNAN: Dude found a fragment of the rib. My theory is that the fragment was propelled forward and shot into the heart thus killing him.", "CAM: So he wasn't killed by a bullet but by a piece of his own rib?", "BRENNAN: There's no indication of the weapon being a bullet.", "CAM: What did the rib damage?", "ANGELA: I hate to be the one to suggest this but this might be the perfect time for Hodgins and the Science Dude to join forces.", "CAM: Bring merriment to your experiment. (BRENNAN and ANGELA exchange looks) I just... made that one up myself.", "(Cut to: BOOTH's car.)", "BOOTH: Molly Braverman saw her hairdresser twice a week.", "BRENNAN: That's a lot.", "BOOTH: That's exactly what Sweets said we should look for, I mean, we talked to the hairdresser and get this, Molly asked if she could stay at the hairdresser's house for a few days.", "BRENNAN: You don't seem pleased.", "BOOTH: Yeah you know well, the hairdresser said I was the second FBI agent who called. So you know, I checked in with Caroline and nobody else followed the hairdresser lead.", "BRENNAN: What, Braverman?", "BOOTH: That's exactly what I thought but it was a woman who called.", "(Cut to: Apartment 5F where MOLLY is staying. BOOTH knocks and MOLLY answers.)", "MOLLY: (through the peephole) Yes?", "BOOTH: (shows his badge) FBI.", "(MOLLY opens the door.)", "BOOTH: FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian. Can we talk to you for a minute?", "MOLLY: I'm sorry, this is isn't a good time.", "BRENNAN: Mrs. Braverman, we have reason to believe that you're in danger.", "BOOTH: Your husband may have discovered where you are and... what is it, is something wrong?", "BRENNAN: (turns around and sees BRAVERMAN outside through the window) Booth, it's Braverman.", "(BRAVERMAN turns and runs.)", "BOOTH: (to MOLLY) Stay inside and lock the door.", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN chase BRAVERMAN across the street.)", "BOOTH: Hey, hey hey!", "(BOOTH runs out in front of a cab)", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa!", "CABBIE: (honks) Watch it!", "BOOTH: Can't you see I'm running?", "CABBIE: (as BRENNAN runs in front of the cab) Are you kidding me, lady?!", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN follow BRAVERMAN into an alley. BRAVERMAN takes out a gun, fires and misses. BRAVERMAN continues into a parking garage and as BOOTH chases, he collides with JANET LEBLANC. They fall to the ground, with BRENNAN right behind.)", "BRENNAN: Booth! She's got a shotgun (picks up the gun, cocks it and aims for BRAVERMAN).", "BOOTH: Bones!", "BRENNAN: (to BRAVERMAN) Hey!", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa... easy!", "(BRAVERMAN turns and jumps through a window, landing on a parked car below. He injures his leg but runs away before BRENNAN can get a shot off.)", "LEBLANC: (to Booth) Thanks a lot idiot! You just cost me two hundred grand.", "BOOTH: Two hundred grand? Oh great, just what I need, another damn bounty hunter.", "ACT 4", "(FBI building. BOOTH leads LEBLANC, in handcuffs, to a conference room.)", "LEBLANC: Come on, we're in your castle. We're all on the same side. How about losing these stupid bracelets?", "BOOTH: On the same side?", "(CAROLINE walks up.)", "CAROLINE: (to LEBLANC) You assaulted a federal agent.", "LEBLANC: He didn't identify himself as such. Besides, he's a big boy. It's not like he can't handle a love tap or two.", "BOOTH: Oh, a wanted fugitive escaped because of your interference so have a seat.", "LEBLANC: Look, let me go and I'll get Braverman back for you.", "CAROLINE: If Braverman hurts or kills anyone else because you prevented his arrest, I'll charge you as an accessory.", "LEBLANC: I'm sorry but I've been chasing this guy for seventeen days now. (looks directly at BOOTH) It's the thrill of the chase, right? You know what I mean.", "BOOTH: (a beat) Come on (removes LEBLANC's handcuffs).", "LEBLANC: Wow, you're actually letting me go?", "BOOTH: Well, thrill of the chase. You get it, right? Get outta here before I change my mind.", "(LEBLANC leaves.)", "CAROLINE: What'd you do that for?", "BOOTH: Double the pressure on Braverman. I don't care who gets him first.", "CAROLINE: I hate it when you're all adult and sensible. Get me a little bile and revenge. That's what I appreciate in a man (turns and leaves).", "BOOTH: What?", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab, Ookey Room. HODGINS and BUNSEN JUDE are setting up an experiment.)", "HODGINS: Human ribs can withstand approximately four hundred pounds of force before breaking. Ribs one through three are the hardest with four through nine getting progressively weaker.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Our victim was a large man with big muscles and dense bones.", "HODGINS: I never thought of using paint stirrer sticks in place of ribs.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Many common household items mimic the properties of human body parts like cantaloupe melons or pudding.", "HODGINS: I'm not gonna ask about the pudding.", "(HODGINS sets the model at one end of the room. The model consists of paint sticks to represent the ribs and a balloon filled with red liquid to represent the heart. HODGINS and BUNSEN JUDE walk to the opposite end of the room.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Start slowly and work our way up.", "HODGINS: Professor (extends a bowl filled with various projectiles to BUNSEN JUDE, who picks out a baseball).", "BUNSEN JUDE: Thank you.", "HODGINS: (sets up a speed gun) Captain Speedy would say the speed will give us velocity and force.", "(BUNSEN JUDE throws the baseball at the model. The ball bounces off the model but does not break it.)", "HODGINS: Wow (checks the speed gun). That's fifty-six miles per hour, which is 25.3 meters per second. That's not enough.", "(HODGINS and BUNSEN JUDE change positions. BUNSEN JUDE sets up the speed gun as HODGINS picks another projectile from the bowl.)", "HODGINS: Ooh, how about a slingshot with a golf ball? Ready?", "(HODGINS aims and fires. The golf ball bounces off the model but does not break it.)", "HODGINS: Wow, those ribs are really tough.", "BUNSEN JUDE: (checks the speed gun) A hundred miles per hour or...", "HODGINS: 45.15 meters per second, give or take.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Science is fun!", "HODGINS: Yeah!", "BUNSEN JUDE: But we do have a responsibility to the truth.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "BUNSEN JUDE: The truth is whatever hit this big, tough man's ribs made a piece fly off.", "HODGINS: Should we step this thing up a magnitude or two? (hands BUNSEN JUDE a hatchet).", "BUNSEN JUDE: Amazing!", "(Cut to: FBI Building, SWEETS' office, SWEETS is with a PATIENT.)", "(BOOTH enters.)", "BOOTH: Sweets! (notices the PATIENT) Oh hey, how are you? (to SWEETS) Listen, I need you help.", "SWEETS: I'm in a session!", "BOOTH: No, no, no no... Listen, I'm dealing with a dangerous fugitive here. (To PATIENT) You understand, don't you? (to SWEETS) I need your brain to help me figure out what his next move's gonna be.", "SWEETS: No, no, no, no... I still got twenty minutes left here then I'm all yours.", "BOOTH: Whoa, no, no, no... twenty minutes is not gonna work, alright? Two minutes, not a second more. (to PATIENT) Listen, whatever your problem is trust me, Sweets here can fix it in two minutes. (points to his watch) Two minutes. Let's go, let's go, come on (exits).", "SWEETS: Okay, well deciding to change genders is a monumental decision (PATIENT nods) in and of itself so why don't we take the weekend to reflect on that. And then we'll figure out what the next steps will be. Sound good? Yeah? Yeah.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Institute, Bone Room. BRENNAN is looking over bones on the table as ANGELA enters.)", "ANGELA: Hey, you have to go on the Dude's kiddie show.", "BRENNAN: No I don't. (exchanges a look with ANGELA) Why?", "ANGELA: Because it's the dream of every kid in this country who likes science even a little bit.", "BRENNAN: Well, I'm not a kid. I'm a fully-grown adult.", "ANGELA: Okay, then do it for your inner child.", "BRENNAN: If you're referring to a fetus, I unlike you, am not currently pregnant.", "ANGLEA: Sweetie, you go on the show and millions of little girls are going to look at you and say to themselves, \"I can be like her\". A scientist or an astronaut or a brain surgeon blah de blah. You know, shoot for the stars. All that.", "BRENNAN: Even with the blah de blah, it seems very important to you.", "ANGELA: Yeah. If I have a daughter I'm going to name her Temperance.", "BRENNAN: You are?", "ANGELA: I mean we won't call her that. It's awful. Maybe it'll be her middle name but I want her to love you.", "BRENNAN: You love me.", "ANGELA: Yes, but not everyone is as willing to look as hard for you inner child as I am and this kid is half Hodgins, remember? Listen, if the Science Dude makes it all the way through this case, helpful or not, I think that you should cut him a break and go on his show.", "(Shot of bone fragments, magnified on the monitor. BRENNAN turns her attention to the bones.)", "ANGELA: Yeah and I've lost you.", "BRENNAN: No, no you haven't. I am an excellent multitasker. I need the Dude.", "ANGELA: Oh, okay. (yells) Dude! Dude!", "BUNSEN JUDE: (off-screen) Coming, I'm coming!", "(BUNSEN JUDE enters.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Yeah?", "ANGELA: You are on. Dazzle! (exits).", "BRENNAN: Dude, what do you see here?", "BUNSEN JUDE: Ribs, broken ribs.", "BRENNAN: Could you be more specific?", "BUNSEN JUDE: Okay. (walks toward the monitor) This is a magnification of the fourth left rib so it's big. And our eyes can see things that are usually too tiny for the human eye. And right here (points) where it's a little bumpy and weird, that's where the bone started to heal.", "BRENNAN: Remodeling.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Yes, which means this rib was broken before this man was killed. Amazing!", "BRENNAN: This injury occurred perhaps a week before the victim was killed.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Whatever made him die was not the same thing that broke his rib.", "BRENNAN: There were two injuries. One that broke off a piece of the rib...", "BUNSEN JUDE: And another approximately a week later which propelled the bone into his heart and killed him dead.", "BRENNAN: \"Killed him dead\" is redundant.", "BUNSEN JUDE: But it's clear and what do we say about clarity? It's a barbarity that clarity is a rarity!", "BRENNAN: That's very true.", "(Cut to: FBI Building. BOOTH, SWEETS and CAROLINE are watching security tapes.)", "BOOTH: Okay, what am I looking at looking at here?", "CAROLINE: You know that myth where some good Samaritan anonymously sends in evidence that cracks the case?", "BOOTH: That never happens.", "CAROLINE: It happened.", "SWEETS: That's the victim, isn't it?", "(Footage shows KAMINSKY playing pool with GERING.)", "BOOTH: Yeah, he's playing pool with his boss, the bail bondsman. So what?", "CAROLINE: Here we go.", "(Footage shows KAMINSKY punching GERING.)", "CAROLINE: Slight disagreement between gentlemen.", "SWEETS: Does he really think that wig is fooling anyone?", "CAROLINE: He's terminal.", "BOOTH: What?", "CAROLINE: Cancer. The diagnosis isn't good.", "(Footage shows GERING jabbing KAMINSKY with a pool stick.)", "BOOTH: Oh, wow! Okay, at least we know how he cracked his rib.", "(Footage shows GERING pulling out a gun, aiming it at KAMINSKY.)", "CAROLINE: Gotta give a little guy credit for guts.", "SWEETS: Someone thinks he's gonna die, he takes risks he might otherwise avoid.", "(Footage shows GERING continuing to point his gun as KAMINISKY walks away.)", "BOOTH: Yeah or he just goes crazy.", "ACT 5", "(FBI Building, interrogation room. BOOTH and CAROLINE question GERING.)", "GERING: The Wolf cheated. He called the wrong shot. There was money at stake. I did what I had to do.", "BOOTH: (motions to the television which shows footage of GERING jabbing KAMINISKY with a pool stick) Yeah, so you cracked him in the ribs?", "GERING: I protested in a vigorous fashion. We put it behind us. I didn't track him down and kill him later.", "CAROLINE: Maybe he wasn't so forgiving. Maybe he felt embarrassed that an old man in a bad wig made him look like a fool.", "BOOTH: Right, so he comes after you.", "CAROLINE: You protest again, even more vigorously, by which I mean you chop off his head.", "GERING: Look, you people! Guys like me and the Wolf... we're not lawyers, we don't talk things through. The Wolf once took a shot at me because I complimented his mother in a way he didn't appreciate.", "BOOTH: Guys like you, you get older, you get weak. Maybe you overcompensate.", "GERING: I'm still kickin', thanks sonny.", "CAROLINE: You're wearing that wig because of chemotherapy. You are going to die sir, within the next year.", "GERING: (exchanges looks with CAROLINE and BOOTH then removes his wig) Doctor says more like six months. And it's none of your business, but I believe in God and I would like to make a good impression when I stand before him.", "BOOTH: And make up for what, about a hundred assault convictions?", "GERING: Assault in the course of my chosen profession. No aggravated assault, no killing anybody! If I were you, I'd be asking why Janet LeBlanc sent you that security tape.", "BOOTH: Oh what, the other bounty hunter?", "GERING: She's the only one who would benefit.", "CAROLINE: Why would one of your own bounty hunters want to incriminate you?", "GERING: Because she wants you wasting your time on me while she finds Braverman. Mission accomplished.", "BOOTH: You're being pretty damn helpful. (to Caroline) Isn't he?", "CAROLINE: Mmm-hmm.", "GERING: If you get to Braverman first, I don't have to pay out two hundred large which is why I'll play this for you (hits play on a recorder that's on the table).", "MOLLY: (on recorder) Charlie, tell me where you are and I'll come right away.", "BOOTH: Is that Molly Braverman?", "MOLLY: (on recorder) No, I promise. The FBI had no idea I was hiding you.", "(GERING stops the recorder.)", "CAROLINE: What'd you do, duplicate the sim card on her cell?", "GERING: No need, they got an app for that.", "BOOTH: Give me that (takes the recorder).", "(Cut to: FBI Building, conference room.)", "MOLLY: (on recorder) I can meet you at the corner of 21st and Scott in thirty minutes", "BOOTH: (stops the recorder) Okay, that recording was made an hour and a half ago. I contacted the officers who were assigned to protect Molly and she's already gone.", "BRENNAN: What kind of woman runs away with a man whom she knows to be a murderer?", "SWEETS: I should've known. She's so used to being controlled she can't live without it.", "CAROLINE: I don't care about why, the question is where. Where are they?", "BOOTH: Right here. (brings up a map on the screen and points) Okay the intersection they plan to meet is right here. Now if Molly is driving...", "SWEETS: No, no no. He would've taken over once they got together.", "BRENNAN: How could you possibly know that?", "SWEETS: Well, since she's willing to accept the fact that her husband killed a man, it suggests that she's a submissive and compliant woman.", "CAROLINE: So where do you think they'll go?", "BRENNAN: Okay, this is ludicrous. Sweets can't possibly know that.", "SWEETS: Actually, I can. What I'm doing here, it's no less precise than profiling a suspect. So this meeting place is not random (points to the intersection on the monitor). It's right off the 66 interstate. From here, Braverman will head west.", "BRENNAN: (scoffs) Now you're psychic?", "SWEETS: 87% of all people escaping head west. I know, it's one of those bizarre, psychological truths. It's like, uh, circling clockwise when you're staking out a house.", "BRENNAN: Even the Dude would call that pseudo science.", "BOOTH: (brings up MOLLY's credit card records on the monitor) Credit card records show past reservations at campgrounds at Walker State Park and Freemont State Park.", "SWEETS: Yeah, they would want a familiar place where they feel secure. Both west of here, by the way. Just... (shrugs and glances at BRENNAN).", "BOOTH: The fastest route from here is between the 66 and 81.", "CAROLINE: I'll buy it, especially since we don't have anything else.", "BRENNAN: He won't make it to the 81.", "CAROLINE: Now who's psychic?", "BRENNAN: When Braverman rolled off the car, he landed flat-footed. From that height and the speed he was going, he must have dislocated his femoral head from his acetabulum.", "BOOTH: It couldn't be that bad. He's been running ever since.", "BRENNAN: Once he's in the car and immobile, his adrenaline will wear off and the pain will become unbearable. He'll need drugs and medical care.", "CAROLINE: You don't think he'd be stupid enough to go to a hospital?", "BRENNAN: He won't have a choice.", "BOOTH: I'll contact all the hospitals and urgent care facilities along the route.", "(Cut to: Jeffersonian Institute, Medico Legal Lab. CAM and HODGINS walking.)", "CAM: Nothing. You found nothing?", "HODGINS: We have tried everything we can think of. The problem is projectiles either bounce off the rib, crack it or fragment it into several pieces.", "CAM: But nothing knocked out one small fragment?", "HODGINS: It's like I told the Science Dude. We need something that strikes at more than forty meters per second but less than seventy meters per second.", "CAM: Which translates to?", "HODGINS: Ah, faster than a golf ball hit with a three iron but slower than a rubber bullet.", "(CAM and HODGINS enter the Ookey Room where BUNSEN JUDE is working.)", "CAM: (sees HODGINS' and BUNSEN JUDE's model. The balloons have been popped and red liquid has spewed around the model) Oh, good lord.", "(BUNSEN JUDE holds a potato gun. His lab coat is covered in red liquid.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: I think I'm onto something.", "HODGINS: Whoa, you made a bazooka!", "BUNSEN JUDE: If you mean a potato bazooka, then yes. PVC tube, commercial hairspray as an accelerant. Hold and load (hands the gun to HODGINS).", "HODGINS: Man, I haven't shot a potato gun since I was a kid.", "CAM: Is this in any way safe?", "BUNSEN JUDE: Strictly eighteen and over so I am completely out of my comfort zone.", "HODGINS: (loads the gun) Okay, loaded and ready, Professor (gives the gun to BUNSEN JUDE).", "BUNSEN JUDE: (kneels with the gun and takes aim at the model as HODGINS sets up the speed gun) Spuds away!", "(CAM covers her ears as BUNSEN JUDE fires. The potato his the model and breaks the rib.)", "HODGINS: Wow, one hundred and forty miles per hour so that's 62.5 meters per second, give or take. Check the playback on that.", "(HODGINS walks to the monitor. Slow motion shot of the potato hitting the rib. A fragment breaks off and punctures the balloon that represents the heart.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Eureka!", "CAM: I see your results are congruent with what happened but are we really saying that our victim was killed by a potato gun?", "(HODGINS and BUNSEN JUDE smile.)", "(Cut to: BOOTH's car. BOOTH's phone rings.)", "BOOTH: It's Hodgins (answers). Hey Hodgins, you got a weapon for us?", "HODGINS: (on speakerphone) It's a potato gun.", "BRENNAN: Did you get that thesis from the Dude?", "CAM: (on speakerphone) That would be correct.", "BOOTH: Okay, murder by vegetable?", "HODGINS: (on speakerphone) Well, not literally.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Murder by something that approximates the speed, force and velocity of a potato. A blunt, malleable projectile moving at a relatively slow speed.", "BRENNAN: That is very good work.", "BUNSEN JUDE: (on speakerphone) Ah, but good enough that you will agree to appear on my show?", "(BOOTH glances at BRENNAN.)", "BRENNAN: (nods) Yes.", "(BUNSEN JUDE and CAM look pleased. BOOTH's phone rings.)", "BRENNAN: Uh, excuse us.", "(BOOTH takes the call. It's AGENT CLANSNICK.)", "BOOTH: Oh, I got it, I got it. Yeah it's Booth.", "CLANSNICK: (on speakerphone) This is Agent Clansnick. MacArthur Hospital off the 66 just reported a couple, male and female. Male with a dislocated leg.", "BRENNAN: What, were they carrying any potatoes?", "CLANSNICK: (on speakerphone) Excuse me?", "BOOTH: No, we're eight miles out. We're on our way.", "ACT 6", "(MacArthur Hospital. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter.)", "BRENNAN: What do you want to do?", "BOOTH: Well, what I want to do is I want to find a doctor to find him and pump him with enough morphine to stun an elephant.", "BRENNAN: Physicians can't do that, it's against the Hippocratic Oath. First, do no harm.", "(Shot of LEBLANC entering the hospital.)", "BOOTH: Right, I'm just saying...", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN see LEBLANC).", "BRENNAN: She followed us.", "BOOTH: Hey, Janet!", "(BOOTH and BRENNAN go follow LEBLANC. LEBLANC goes through a set of doors and jams the handles with a crutch.)", "BOOTH: (attempts to open the door from the other side but can't) Janet!", "LEBLANC: (walks down the hallway and looks back at BOOTH) Braverman's mine G-man.", "(Cut to: MOLLY and BRAVERMAN in a hospital room. BRAVERMAN is in a gown while a NURSE prepares an injection)", "MOLLY: It's gonna be alright, okay?", "(Cut to: BRENNAN outside of the doors that LEBLANC went through.)", "BRENNAN: There's another way around. This way (runs as BOOTH follows).", "(Cut to: Hospital room. The nurse injects BRAVERMAN's knee.)", "(Cut to: BRENNAN and BOOTH spot LEBLANC.)", "BRENNAN: (points) Look there!", "(LEBLANC turns and walks away.)", "(Cut to: MOLLY leading BRAVERMAN out of the hospital room.)", "(Cut to: BOOTH and BRENNAN follow LEBLANC.)", "BRENNAN: I'm going to go back the other way (walks in a different direction than BOOTH).", "(Shots of: BOOTH following LEBLANC as she glances back. MOLLY and BRAVERMAN walking. LEBLANC spotting MOLLY and BRAVERMAN.)", "MOLLY: Run Charles, I got her.", "(LEBLANC shoves MOLLY and continues after BRAVERMAN. BOOTH and BRENNAN spot JANET and MOLLY from opposite sides of the hallway. MOLLY grabs a needle as BRENNAN kicks her causing MOLLY to inject herself with the needle. MOLLY falls to the floor. BOOTH chases BRAVERMAN but BRAVERMAN is shot by LEBLANC. BRAVERMAN falls to the floor. BOOTH takes out his gun and aims it at LEBLANC.)", "BOOTH: No, wait! Drop the weapon.", "LEBLANC: Relax G-man, he's fine. It's only a beanbag gun.", "BOOTH: Drop it, now.", "LEBLANC: (sets the gun on the floor) I got the guy. Bounty is mine.", "BOOTH: On your knees, now!", "LEBLANC: (kneels) He's officially mine.", "(BRENNAN rounds the corner and sees BOOTH and LEBLANC.)", "BRENNAN: Booth.", "BOOTH: Bones, you okay? Where's Molly?", "BRENNAN: She's incapacitated. Most likely for the next six to eight hours.", "(BOOTH handcuffs LEBLANC.)", "BOOTH: Bones, you think that a potato gun and a beanbag can generate the same fig Newtons per square inch?", "BRENNAN: It's just Newtons, Booth. (picks up the beanbag and examines it) Yes, I think they could be very similar. Why?", "(BOOTH looks at LEBLANC.)", "BRENNAN: The bounty hunter killed the Wolf?", "BOOTH: They're both after Braverman at the same time in the woods near his cabin. So she just takes him out for the two hundred grand bounty.", "BRENNAN: It was an accident. The rib fragment broke off in the fight at the pool hall. (to LEBLANC) You had no idea that your beanbag gun would kill him.", "BOOTH: Bones, what are you, a defense lawyer now?", "BRENNAN: A kind mind is a fine mind.", "BOOTH: She cut off his head! That wasn't an accident.", "BRENNAN: I have no rebuttal to that statement.", "BOOTH: Right, let's go (leads LEBLANC, in handcuffs, away).", "(Cut to: Various shots of D.C. then to the exterior of the Jeffersonian Institute. In the lab, the forensics platform has been transformed into the set of BUNSEN JUDE's show. A neon sign \"THE LAB\" is overhead. The AUDIENCE consists primarily of children. BOOTH, CAROLINE, ANGELA, HODGINS, and CAM stand and watch from the back .)", "BOOTH: (speaking fast) I am so nervous, anyone else nervous? (to Caroline) You nervous? I'm nervous.", "CAROLINE: What if she starts to explain human dissection to these kids?", "(Theme music plays as the show starts. BUNSEN JUDE runs onto the stage. The AUDIENCE applauds. BOOTH takes a seat.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: What is the code of the scientist?", "AUDIENCE: Observe, analyze, deduce!", "ANGELA: Wow, these are not normal, fun children.", "BUNSEN JUDE: Kids, I want you to meet a very special friend. In fact, this is her lab. Isn't it amazing?", "AUDIENCE: It's amazing!", "BUNSEN JUDE: She's a forensic anthropologist and what she does is amazing! She looks at old bones, she figures out how people lived, what they were like, even how they died. She's amazing, like magic.", "AUDIENCE: She's amazing!", "BUNSEN JUDE: But it's not magic, it's...", "AUDIENCE: Science!", "BUNSEN JUDE: Her name is Dr. Temperance Brennan but she's better known as the Bone Lady (claps).", "(The AUDIENCE claps along with CAROLINE, ANGELA, HODGINS, and CAM. BRENNAN runs onto the stage in pigtails. She's dressed in a fluffy tutu, giant white gloves and a black leotard with a white skeleton. The AUDIENCE cheers. BOOTH claps and smiles. BRENNAN waves.)", "BUNSEN JUDE: Dr. Brennan, would you like to lead us in our Scientist's Oath?", "BRENNAN: I most certainly would, Science Dude. We see big stars (raises hands and waves) tiny atoms too (lowers hands and waves) because that is what scientists (points to herself) do.", "AUDIENCE: (in unison) Because that is what scientists do!", "BRENNAN: We get the facts and say what's true because that's what scientists (points to herself) do.", "AUDIENCE: (in unison) Because that is what scientists do!", "BOOTH: (in unison) Because that is what scientists do!", "BRENNAN: We use our minds (points to her head) embrace what's new (hugs herself) because that is what scientists (points to herself) do.", "AUDIENCE: (in unison) Because that is what scientists do!", "BUNSEN JUDE: Thank you Dr. Brennan.", "BRENNAN: No, thank you.", "(Shots of the AUDIENCE, CAROLINE, HODGINS and CAM cheering as BRENNAN bows and curtsies. BRENNAN spots BOOTH in the crowd. They make eye contact as BOOTH gives a smile and thumbs up. BRENNAN returns the smile and thumbs up. BRENNAN bows. Scene fades.)", "END." ]

[ "After the skull of a promising young dancer is found lodged in concrete at a construction site, the team must first figure out what happened to the victim's skeletal structure. After learning the victim quit ballet to pursue hip hop, Booth and Brennan uncover another layer of evidence that points them to a suspect who had a secret relationship with the victim. Meanwhile, when Hannah is put on assignment in a dodgy part of town, her safety is jeopardized and her life is put in critical danger." ]

[ "[Teaser] [Act 1]", "(OPEN: EXT: Construction Site. A skateboarder does tricks all around a construction site near Kalorama Park until his skateboard snags something, causing a wipeout. He inspects the cause of his fall only to discover a human skull in the concrete.)", "[Scene 1] [Act 1]", "( CUT: INT: Booth's apartment. Booth and Hannah get ready for work.)", "SPECIAL AGENT SEELEY BOOTH: Woo-hoo. Oh. You look nice today.", "HANNAH BURLEY: Down boy. Gotta go to work.", "BOOTH: Beautiful and responsive. How'd I get so lucky, huh?", "HANNAH: What do you know about Anacostia?", "BOOTH: It's a neighborhood about a mile and a half from here. Seedy. Prostitution. Lots of gangs. Bad activity. Why?", "HANNAH: You ever hear of local cops getting bought off down there?", "BOOTH: I thought you were only working the White House and Capital Hill.", "HANNAH: You can see Anacostia from the top of the Capital Dome.", "BOOTH: Really?", "HANNAH: Mmm-hmm.", "BOOTH: Expanding our portfolio, are we?", "HANNAH: Look who's talking. How many jurisdictional boundaries have you transgressed over the years?", "BOOTH: All of 'em.", "HANNAH: All of 'em.", "BOOTH: Every one of them.", "HANNAH: Bye. (Makes her way to the front door, exits.)", "BOOTH: (Watches her go with a fond smile.) Bye. Miss you.", "[Scene 2] [Act 1]", "( CUT: INT: Royal Diner. Booth, Sweets, and Brennan eat together at the diner.)", "DR. LANCE SWEETS: Anacostia? That's a really tough part of town.", "BOOTH: Not compared to downtown Karbala, it's not.", "BRENNAN: Or the surface of Venus, which is covered by clouds of Sulfuric acid and hundreds of active mega volcanoes. What? We were talking about tough neighborhoods.", "SWEETS: Uh-huh. It's good that Hannah is totally jazzed about her work, though.", "BRENNAN: For smart people like Hannah and me, not being jazzed is physically painful.", "BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're saying that Hannah does extra work because she's bored at home?", "SWEETS: No. No.", "BOOTH: I'm an exciting guy. I, for example, I'm making dinner for her tonight. With wine.", "SWEETS: You just decided that now, didn't you?", "BRENNAN: If you're not the cause of her ennui then it stands to reason that you cannot make her happy. It's standard first order logic.", "BOOTH: First order logic?", "SWEETS: First order logic is a philosophical system of reasoning using if/then statements as quantifiers and predicates.", "BRENNAN: If/then statements are binary truth functions wherein a compound sentence is logically equivalent to the negative.", "BOOTH: Guys, Guys. Hannah and I are really happy. I gave her the big closet and I always put the seat down after I pee.", "BRENNAN: You should also put the lid down. Otherwise a fine mist of aerosolized urine and fecal particulates are sprayed into the air every time you flush. You might as well brush your teeth in excrement.", "SWEETS: She's right.", "BOOTH: (Booth's phone rings, he answers it.) Yeah. Thank God you called. Okay. Great, thanks. (Hangs up.) We have a case. (Points at Brennan's coffee.) Get that to go.", "(Booth gets up and departs table leaving Brennan and Sweets behind. Brennan takes a last sip of her coffee and follows behind.)", "[Scene 3] [Act 1]", "(CUT: EXT: Construction Site, near Kalorama Park (Crime Scene). Booth and Brennan arrive at the crime scene where Brennan probes the buried skeleton for more information.)", "BOOTH: I dunno. Looks like a giant man eating clam.", "BRENNAN: No, there's no such thing as a man eating clam.", "BOOTH: Oh, you know, the giant ones, they clamp on your leg like a bear trap.", "BRENNAN: A - the shells close too slowly to catch anything; B - the really big ones can't even close all the way.", "BOOTH: Not in the movies I've watched.", "FBI AGENT: It's all yours.", "BOOTH: Whoa-Ho! Poor guy. Now, he's stuck in a hard place.", "BRENNAN: How do you know it's a male?", "BOOTH: I don't. I just meant, you know, I just...I feel bad whatever s*x...", "BRENNAN: Ugh. However, you are correct. Given the angle of the jaw and the wear to the teeth, the victim is a male in his late twenties.", "BOOTH: Male. Late twenties. Okay, what's that?", "BRENNAN: Probe. These appear to be the only remains encased here.", "BOOTH: What do you mean?", "BRENNAN: Where's the back of his skull?", "BOOTH: Oh, okay. So what you're saying is that there could be male parts all just embedded here in this big slab of concrete?", "BRENNAN: There's the impression of the rest of the skull. When the concrete set, the bone was still there but somehow it disappeared in the mean time.", "BOOTH: So, let me guess - you want the whole slab of concrete shipped back to the Jeffersonian, right?", "BRENNAN: No. Don't be absurd. A two by three by four meter section will be fine.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: Shouldn't weight more than a ton.", "[Scene 4] [Act 1]", "(CUT: INT: Jeffersonian Platform)", "DR. JACK HODGINS: (Vacuums dust from slab which has been relocated to the Jeffersonian platform.) Nothing here but dust.", "ARASTOO VAZIRI Perhaps it's what's left of the missing bones.", "BRENNAN: It could be many things Mr. Vaziri. Speculation is pointless until we analyze the evidence.", "ARASTOO: Sorry. I've been away from Forensic Anthropology for almost a year. I guess I'm rusty.", "DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN: But we are delighted to have you back, aren't we, Dr. Brennan?", "BRENNAN: Yes, we're delighted. Cultural Anthropology is a fine discipline but it doesn't involve as much hard science as Forensic Anthropology. I hope that you'll be able to make the requisite readjustment.", "ARASTOO: Like time has stood still.", "HODGINS: All done. So many tunnels in there. Like an ant farm.", "ARASTOO: Since we have the Fluoroscope, I was thinking I could inject the Barium Sulfate slurry into the concrete. Once inside I could Fluoroscope the slurry like an MRI.", "BRENNAN: That should give us a clear picture of what we're dealing with without destroying the concrete.", "HODGINS: How's that for hard science thinking? Good boy, Arastoo.", "HODGINS: It looks like a human skeleton.", "ARASTOO: It is a Skeleton. Or at least a cast of one.", "CAM: So the tissue must have decomposed before the concrete was poured.", "HODGINS: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because otherwise we'd be looking at the mold of a human body instead of the mold of a skeleton.", "CAM: What happened to the victim's clothing?", "HODGINS: Natural fibers like cotton would have decomposed to dust or tatters in say, I don't know, four months.", "ARASTOO: But not bones.", "BRENNAN: If we can find out what happened to the victim's skeletal structure we may be able to figure out what happened to him.", "[SMASH CUT: MAIN TITLES]", "[Scene 1] [Act 2]", "(Fade in: INT: Jeffersonian platform)", "BRENNAN: All right, so the victim was lying on his back, arms by his side.", "CAM: He must have been knocked unconscious, paralyzed or already dead.", "BRENNAN: What's your thinking?", "CAM: If he was conscious he would have curled up in pain or tried to crawl away.", "ARASTOO: Found something really...odd.", "CAM: Something between the victim's teeth?", "ARASTOO: No. On his teeth. Is there any such thing as a dental tattoo?", "BRENNAN: There's no reason ink couldn't be introduced into the enamel.", "CAM: Whadda ya got? Huh. Well, that's a new one.", "BRENNAN: There's a figure of an upside down man on the victims on the left central maxillary incisor.", "ARASTOO: I believe he's affecting a head spin - a classic hip hop move.", "CAM: There can't be too many people that tattoo teeth, right? This could lead to the victim's identity.", "BRENNAN: I will find it extremely frustrating if the victim's identity is all we can discern.", "CAM: Well, unless you can take bone dust and turn it back into a full skeleton, this is all we've got to work with.", "[Scene 2] [Act 2]", "(Cut: INT: Booth's Apartment. Hannah returns home to a candlelight dinner.)", "HANNAH: Oh God.", "BOOTH: What?", "HANNAH: You're going to propose.", "BOOTH: No!", "HANNAH: Uh, candles, wine, new toothbrushes?", "BOOTH: Right.", "HANNAH: You went through all this to tell me I have bad breath?", "BOOTH: No. I just think you need a new toothbrush. Well, actually we both do. I bought these two. Obviously. And you can choose which color you like.", "HANNAH: something Temperance said?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Something she did. Trust me you do not want to know.", "HANNAH: Aah.", "BOOTH: More importantly, time for a little wine. The day is over.", "HANNAH: Oh, thanks.", "BOOTH: There you go. For you. Okay. There you go. For me. Cheers.", "HANNAH: Cheers.", "BOOTH: So, we're good here.", "HANNAH: Okay, Seeley, what's all this about?", "BOOTH: Nothing. Why does it have to be about something?", "HANNAH: You found out that my editor won't let me pursue the corrupt cop story. Huh?", "BOOTH: No, I didn't. What did he say?", "HANNAH: I quote - the White House press corps chases history, not lurid true crime stories.", "BOOTH: Wow, he actually said the word lurid?", "HANNAH: It's not funny.", "BOOTH: It is kinda funny.", "HANNAH: Why is it funny?", "BOOTH: Well, because I know that you're still going to do that story without his permission. And I think that really makes me laugh.", "HANNAH: I like that you know me that well.", "BOOTH: Yeah. Hey, is there any chance that I could say to you, uh, be careful, and then you could say 'safety first'?", "HANNAH: It's worth a shot.", "BOOTH: Okay. You be careful.", "HANNAH: Safety first.", "BOOTH: Liar. (Gooses her.)", "HANNAH: Aren't we going to eat first?", "BOOTH: No way.", "[Scene 3] [Act 2]", "( Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Platform. Brennan joins Angela at the lab - it's clear Angela's been up all night.)", "BRENNAN: Angela. Good morning. Hello.", "ANGELA: Ooph. It is morning, yeah?", "BRENNAN: You stayed up all night?", "ANGELA: Yes.", "BRENNAN: Is that good for the baby?", "ANGELA: Well, what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him, right? Okay, so here is an additive stereolithograph that I borrowed for archaeology. You need a skeleton, and I'm gonna make a reasonable facsimile.", "BRENNAN: Are those lasers?", "ANGELA: Their purpose is to cure micro thin layers of liquid resin into hard plastic. The stacking of these two dimensional layers will create a three dimensional object.", "BRENNAN: The fluoroscopic scan created a template.", "ANGELA: Which you'll use to grow a plastic replica of the victim's skeleton.", "BRENNAN: How accurate will it be?", "ANGELA: That's for you and Arastoo to find out. While I take a well deserved nap.", "BRENNAN: at worst, it will be as accurate as a fossil. I find I am totally jazzed by you out of the box lateral thinking.", "ARASTOO: (Enters.) Come to work and find myself in the future.", "BRENNAN: Time travel is impossible Mr. Vaziri. But I know exactly what you mean.", "CAM: (Enters.) Wow. If you're taking orders, I'd like a six four, thirty-seven year old male, with a good income and no mommy issues.", "[SCENE 4] [Act 2]", "(Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Bone Room)", "ARASTOO: The detail is remarkable.", "ANGELA: Thank you.", "CAM: It's even flexible at the joints where the tendons and ligaments were replicated.", "ANGELA: Right. But can we get anything useful from it?", "ARASTOO: Well, the victim had turned out hips and high arches. That along with the muscle attachment at the shoulders and hips suggests that he was a ballet dancer. There are nicks on the lateral and posterior surfaces.", "ANGELA: Okay. Why don't you just flip it over so we can get a better look?", "ARASTOO: We would never flip over a real skeleton.", "CAM: Ah, lucky for us this is a replica. Come on. Grab a limb.", "ANGELA: Hey, this was kinda fun.", "ARASTOO: These nicks suggest that he was stabbed.", "CAM: Or impaled. We haven't (unintelligible) murder yet, Mr. Vaziri. It's possible that the victim blundered into a construction site, fell into the foundation and impaled himself on rebar.", "[SCENE 5] [Act 2]", "(Cut: INT: Dance Studio)", "BOOTH: Well, this is the place the guy with the tattoo on his tooth, Robert Pearson, (unintelligible).", "BRENNAN: That's assuming that Robert Pearson is the only missing person to have a tattoo of a hip hop dancer on his left front incisor.", "BOOTH: Uh-huh.", "BRENNAN: I admit the odds favor your conclusion. No family, no job?", "BOOTH: (unintelligible), a year. (unintelligible) off the grid.", "Cynthia Rinaldi: Clumsy, clumsy, clumsy. What are you doing? Are you new?", "BOOTH: Wow, she's mean.", "BRENNAN: Ballet is a rigorous vocation, Booth.", "BOOTH: Whoa.", "CYNTHIA: Bad posture, bad hands, bad partner. Are you an eagle?", "MALE DANCER: Excuse me?", "CYNTHIA: Are you an eagle?", "MALE DANCER: No.", "CYNTHIA: Then stop making claws. Fingers flat on all lifts. That hurts, right?", "BOOTH: Okay, I really don't have any problems seeing this woman kill somebody. You?", "BRENNAN: Well, she's quite small physically.", "CYNTHIA: I suggest you learn how to perform a lift.", "BOOTH: She's mean. Whoa. Okay, well, there's your evidence of strength.", "CYNTHIA: That's how you perform a lift. (To Booth) what do you want? I'm trying to bring a little beauty to the world, if that's okay with you.", "BOOTH: We just have a few questions about one of your former students.", "CYNTHIA: Which former student? I have quite a number of former students.", "BRENNAN: Robert Pearson.", "CYNTHIA: Robert? I hope you're here to tell me he's dead.", "BOOTH: Today is your lucky day.", "BRENNAN: Why do you wish him to be dead?", "CYNTHIA: Because he is the one who broke this ankle and set my career back three years.", "[SCENE 1] [Act 3]", "( Fade in: INT: Dance Studio)", "CYNTHIA: You want me to break down and cry because Robert's dead? People die, bad things happen.", "BOOTH: Oh, so you blame Robert for breaking your ankle?", "CYNTHIA: Yes. An accident not too different from what you saw today. But I'll be just fine in six months.", "BRENNAN: Your gait and the contour of your ankle indicate that you suffered compound fractures to the medial and lateral malleolus.", "BOOTH: Lateral mallevious. Well, sounds pretty serious, huh?", "BRENNAN: She'll never be able to properly execute a fouette again.", "BOOTH: Heh. Career ender, huh? You don't seem too surprised.", "CYNTHIA: Doctors say things all the time, it doesn't make it true.", "BOOTH: Right. Your dad owns a construction company, right?", "CYNTHIA: Yeah. So?", "BOOTH: So, you must know your way around a construction site pretty well. You know, Robert was just found in a recently completed site.", "CYNTHIA: Okay, this...this is crazy. I could never kill anyone.", "BOOTH: It's not crazy. You know, people do this all the time. They get mad. A little too mad.", "BRENNAN: (unintelligible) actually Robert's fault you fell?", "CYNTHIA: It, it, it was a pas de deux. He dropped me. That is not my fault.", "BRENNAN: Given your height, you are well over the optimal weight for a ballerina. It would be difficult for anybody to perform proper pas de deux with you.", "CYNTHIA: Are you calling me fat?", "BRENNAN: No. No. For a member of the general public you are actually quite (unintelligible), but by ballerina standards -", "CYNTHIA: You bitch!", "BOOTH: Okay, temper, temper.", "CYNTHIA: Look, if you're going to charge me with something get on with it otherwise I have a class to teach.", "[SCENE 2] [Act 3]", "(Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Bone Room)", "ARASTOO: There are remodeled, circular micro fractures on the skull.", "CAM: So someone struck him on the head with a twirling - what twirls, and is good for hitting on the head?", "ARASTOO: Very thin cardboard on asphalt?", "CAM: So he left ballet to become a spinning on his head dancer?", "HODGINS: Check this out. Initial analysis of the powdered bone dust revealed traces of Blastomyces Dermatitidis. It's a fascinating fungus that quite literally eats bone.", "CAM: So that's what happened to the rest of his skeleton? A fungus ate it?", "ARASTOO: Where did the fungus come from?", "HODGINS: It must have been introduced to the bone before he died.", "CAM: Ouch.", "HODGINS: Well, it's bad for him but good for us. I mean the fungus probably hitched a ride on the murder weapon. Now, check this out. I crosschecked the CDC's infectious disease map for outbreaks of the fungus in the area. There was an outbreak in Kalorama Park about six months ago.", "ARASTOO: Fits the time frame.", "CAM: Kalorama Park's loaded with street performers.", "ARASTOO: Perfect place for a guy to spin on his head.", "HODGINS: Added twist - as well as the fungus in the bone dust, I found flecks of bronze in his wounds.", "CAM: So we'll tell Booth to keep an eye out for a bronze murder weapon in Kalorama Park.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "[SCENE 3] [Act 3]", "( Cut: ext: Kalorama Park)", "BOOTH: Must have been quite a come down to have been working for a professional ballet company to, you know, dancing for tips.", "BRENNAN: For centuries busking has been a viable way for creative people to earn a living. No BARRIERS between the performer and the audience with payment coming only after the performance. It's ENTERTAINMENT in its purest unfettered form.", "BOOTH: I bet he drove his parents crazy.", "BRENNAN: The fluidity with which he moves should not be possible. It appears as if he has no bones.", "BOOTH: Well, that would put you out of business wouldn't it?", "BRENNAN: We should talk to some of the buskers, Booth.", "BOOTH: Excuse me, FBI special agent Booth. This here is Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian. Just want to ask you a few questions.", "BEVERLY HOULE: We're just performing. This isn't federal land. The FBI has no jurisdiction over us.", "BOOTH: Oh, hey, just simmer down there... uh", "BEVERLY: Beverly.", "BOOTH: Beverly. We don't want to take away from your... what did you call it?", "BRENNAN: Pure unfettered entertainment.", "BOOTH: Exactly.", "JOHNNY WIZARD: we got off on the wrong foot here. I'm Johnny. Johnny Wizard. And this is Derrick. Derrick here keeps the park clean for us.", "BOOTH: Derrick.", "JOHNNY: You might wanna take better care of your watch.", "BRENNAN: Oh, ho - that was very good.", "BOOTH: Give me that.", "JOHNNY: How 'bout this.", "BRENNAN: Look Booth.", "BOOTH: Yeah, look. Hey, an ear flower. Great. You guys recognize this man?", "DERRICK PRICE: Yeah, that's Robert. Is he in trouble?", "BRENNAN: Robert is dead.", "BEVERLY: Oh no.", "DERRICK: Man, that's terrible.", "BEVERLY: Told you it was weird he just disappeared like that.", "BRENNAN: Then why didn't you report him missing?", "BEVERLY: Weird is just weird, it's not suspicious. We thought he went legit, left us behind.", "BOOTH: You and Robert have a little thing there?", "BEVERLY: Only business. I played, he danced.", "JOHNNY: What happened to him?", "BOOTH: That's what we're investigating right now. When was the last time you guys saw him.", "BEVERLY: Six months ago?", "JOHNNY: I think this would really suit you.", "BRENNAN: That is my bracelet.", "BOOTH: I hate magic. Hate magic. Did he have any enemies?", "BEVERLY: Everybody loved Robert.", "DERRICK: What about Russell.", "BOOTH: Who's Russell?", "DERRICK: They got in a fight about prime dance spots.", "BEVERLY: But the worked it out.", "BOOTH: All right, listen, if you hear of anything, here's my card just give me a call. Okay. Whoa, easy. You know, it's a federal offense to steal an FBI agent's ID. I could shoot you if I want you, you know that? Shoot you.", "BRENNAN: Hodgins found bronze particulates at the site.", "BOOTH: Yeah, so?", "BRENNAN: This statue seems to be made of bronze. Perhaps some of the sharp edges are responsible for the injuries we discovered. (Statue moves.) Oh!", "BOOTH: Whoa!", "[SCENE 1] [Act 4]", "( Cut: INT: FBI Hoover Building - Interrogation Room)", "SWEETS: Mr. Milford. I'm Dr. Lance Sweets. I'm a psychologist. Now, the reason I'm talking to you is that every time the FBI agent I work with asked you a question you spouted Shakespearean verse at him. He doesn't speak Shakespearean. We found traces of bronze on a murder victim. You're covered in bronze. What I think is that you suffer from an untreated dissociative identity disorder wherein the only way that you can communicate is through Shakespeare. So. An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.", "TYLER MILFORD: Truth is truth to the end of reckoning.", "SWEETS: You're talking. Okay. Uh. Regarding the homicide of Robert Pearson. There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow.", "TYLER: by Isis, will give thee bloody teeth if thou with Robert paragon again.", "SWEETS: Oh, okay, so you're saying that Robert wasn't an innocent victim. Right. Uh. But were we burdened with like weight of pain, as much or more we should ourselves complain.", "TYLER: This is the short and long of it - there is no honor amongst thieves.", "SWEETS: Oh, he's a thief? What kind of thief was he? One may smile and smile and be a villain.", "TYLER: A cutpurse of the empire and the rule - that from a shelf the precious diadem stole and put it in his pocket.", "SWEETS: Robert Pearson was a thief, a cutpurse. That's a pickpocket, right? He worked with someone. He betrayed him. And where the offense is let the great axe fall.", "TYLER: Well. I can no other answer make but thanks and thanks. How far that little candle throws his beam so shines a good deed in a naughty world.", "SWEETS: Well, thank you.", "[SCENE 2] [Act 4]", "( Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Bone Room)", "ARASTOO: There are nicks to the right tibia, femur and ilium. The back of the tenth rib on the left side, the left transverse process of the T6 and the right scapula.", "BRENNAN: These marks are congruous with impaling, but none suggest cause of death.", "ARASTOO: Maybe he bled out.", "HODGINS: the bronze particulates I found didn't come from the paint on the Shakespearean Looney Tunes.", "BRENNAN: Where did they come from?", "HODGINS: I dunno. Maybe a pipe?", "ARASTOO: That was helpful.", "BRENNAN: I discern from your tone that you mean the opposite of what you're saying. Which is the very definition of irony.", "[SCENE 3] [Act 4]", "( Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Angela's Office)", "ANGELA: This is the construction site before the concrete was poured. This is rebar. No over that is a layer of plastic sheeting. It appears that the victim was pushed or fell from this spot.", "CAM: How high is that?", "ANGELA: Just shy of three meters. And he was impaled here.", "CAM: But his skull was found over there.", "ANGELA: Yeah, the body was yanked off the rebar and dragged over there. The plastic sheeting was sliced and the body was shoved underneath.", "CAM: So the corpse decomposed under the plastic for four months before the concrete was poured?", "ANGELA: Well, the construction company went bust and the whole area was fenced off for several months. And then another company Came in and bought the project and poured the foundation. Now the concrete lifted the skull through the slit in the plastic and the rest of the bones dissolved from Hodgins fungus. This guy was impaled. So, how did nobody notice the blood for four months?", "CAM: Black plastic and rusty rebar from a distance - practically impossible. Can all of the nicks on the bones be explained by the rebar?", "ANGELA: Yeah, let me show you.", "CAM: Okay, what's that?", "ANGELA: That's a nick on his spine.", "CAM: Okay, the wound on the right transverse process of the t-6 does not line up with the rest of the wounds from the rebar.", "ANGELA: Well, it could have been inflicted before he fell on the rebar.", "CAM: That one. It punctures his lung. This is not only cause of death; it's the way Hodgins fungus was introduced into the bone marrow.", "[SCENE 4] [Act 4]", "( Cut: INT: Booth's SUV)", "BOOTH: So, you remember these entertainers fight over the best spots, right?", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Okay, so who had the most to gain from Robert Pearson leaving?", "BRENNAN: The other dancer, Russell Leonard.", "BOOTH: Yeah, so with Robert gone, Russell's the only dancer. Robert's death doubled his income.", "BRENNAN: That's not all you got. Because if we're looking for a pickpocket that magician makes a good suspect.", "BOOTH: Uh, uh, uh. Magician's record's totally clean. Russell was arrested two months ago for threatening another dancer with a sharpened screwdriver.", "BRENNAN: The murder weapon as described by Cam and Angela could very well be a sharpened screwdriver tipped with a bone eating fungus.", "BOOTH: Bone eating fungus? Sometimes you say things that sound crazy in a really serious tone of voice.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps.", "[SCENE 5] [Act 4]", "( Cut: INT: Kalorama Park)", "RUSSELL LEONARD: (Passes tip hat around the circle) all right, all right. Thank you, thank you. All right. Thank you. That's what I'm talking about ... (comes to Booth and Brennan) all that and you can't even kick in a buck? What's up with that? Oh now you're kicking my stuff? That's police brutality.", "BOOTH: I'm not kicking, I'm just stumbling. You wanna know what Bones?", "BRENNAN: What?", "BOOTH: You know what I feel with my foot there? Looks like a weapon. Uh-oh, parole violation, pal. (Cuffs Russell)", "BRENNAN: Your fluidity makes it appear that you have no bones. And I am an expert on bones so I find that very impressive.", "RUSSELL: Well, thank you. I take that as a great compliment while being intimidated by law enforcement.", "BOOTH: (Answers phone) Booth. Yeah, uh, hold up. (Gestures to uniformed bicycle police in the vicinity.) Hey guys, over here. Uh, I'm on my way.", "BRENNAN: Booth, what's wrong?", "BOOTH: I gotta go. Hannah's been shot.", "[SCENE 1] [Act 5]", "Cut: INT: Hospital Room", "HANNAH: Don't worry Seeley, I'm fine.", "BOOTH: You got shot, Hannah, you're not fine.", "HANNAH: I've been shot before. So have you, right?", "BOOTH: It's not like you build up an immunity to gun shot wounds. All right. You know what? You should have taken me with you.", "HANNAH: Stop. If I'm there with an FBI guy, I don't get my story. You know that.", "BOOTH: Did you see the shooter.", "HANNAH: Why? You gonna go after him.", "BOOTH: Yeah, I am.", "HANNAH: They pulled a .38 slug outta my leg.", "BOOTH: A cop gun.", "HANNAH: When I was shot I was talking to a dealer who was telling me about cops moving drugs in his neighborhood. In my EXPERIENCE things are not that coincidental.", "BOOTH: Okay, so you're not gonna lose you job here are you? I'm mean you're editors not gonna can you?", "HANNAH: I'm shot. I'm pretty. Suddenly he thinks it's a pretty good story.", "BRENNAN: (Enters) I looked at your X-rays.", "HANNAH: Yeah, well, the doctor said it was nothing. I should be out in the morning.", "BRENNAN: That's a very bad idea.", "BOOTH: Why?", "BRENNAN: Because Hannah has suffered a hairline avulsion fracture of the femur.", "HANNAH: The doctor said it was a little nick on the bone.", "BRENNAN: An avulsion fracture is caused when a tendon or ligament pulls off a piece of bone. If you stress your leg incorrectly, the tendon could pull that shard of bone out farther than it already is and sever the femoral artery. You'd bleed out and die before anyone knew what had happened.", "HANNAH: You sure?", "BRENNAN: (Nods) I'll talk to the chief surgical resident. I believe he'll want to operate on you this evening.", "HANNAH: So basically, you saved my life.", "BRENNAN: (Turns to exit)", "BOOTH: Bones, thanks. Booth and Brennan share a look and he watches her leave.", "[SCENE 2] [Act 5]", "Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Hodgins' Lab", "ARASTOO: Any evidence on the screwdriver?", "HODGINS: Well, I pulled all of this so I know he used the screwdriver to open beer, scrape dog excrement off the bottom of his shoe, stir coffee -", "ARASTOO: Hopefully not in that order.", "HODGINS: It's been six months. There's not much chance that the fungus would still be evident on the smooth metal surface.", "ARASTOO: So what now?", "HODGINS: Now it's time to go to the source. The CDC reported three more cases of Blastomyces Dermatitidis linked to Kalorama Park.", "ARASTOO: Which would tie the dancer to the murder.", "HODGINS: Ah, beats cultural anthropology, don't it?", "[SCENE 4] [Act 5]", "Cut: INT: FBI Hoover Building - Interior Hall", "SWEETS: Oh, Agent Booth - No, you should be with Hannah. Dr. Brennan and I can conduct the interrogation.", "BOOTH: Bones said the operation was routine.", "BRENNAN: it's a simple procedure, yes.", "BOOTH: And we have a case to work.", "SWEETS: Okay. Uh, you're obviously upset. And that's understandable.", "BOOTH: I'm not upset, okay? I'm just doing my job.", "BRENNAN: Something is happening here and I'm not sure what it is.", "SWEETS: Well, agent Booth had a scare. Someone very close to him could have died and now he's obviously in denial.", "BRENNAN: I'm close with Booth and am frequently in life threatening situations. But we persevere.", "BOOTH: See that Sweets? Not in denial. I'm persevering.", "BRENNAN: Persevering.", "BOOTH: That's right.", "SWEETS: (Mumbles) yeah, okay.", "[SCENE 4] [Act 5]", "Cut: INT: FBI Hoover Building - Interrogation Room", "BOOTH: You've got two assault charges here - one where you threaten someone with a screwdriver.", "RUSSELL: That was self defense. The charges were dropped.", "BRENNAN: The petty theft charge wasn't dropped.", "RUSSELL: I stole a sandwich, I was hungry. I spent five days locked up. I'm sure they can think of better ways to spend the tax payers' money.", "BOOTH: Why don't you tell about you and your friend Robert?", "RUSSELL: Look, when Robert Came to the park he was broke. I showed him the ropes, told him what kind of moves would bring in the biggest crowds.", "BRENNAN: Then in a couple weeks he was making more money than you.", "BOOTH: That must have pissed you off.", "RUSSELL: I mean, I...I was jealous, okay. But Robert and me, we were friends.", "BRENNAN: Your screwdriver is a good match for the murder weapon.", "BOOTH: If you're such great friends, why didn't you report him missing?", "RUSSELL: I work the streets. People come and go. That's the way it is.", "BOOTH: Yeah, people on the streets they also don't like it when someone takes money they think is theirs.", "RUSSELL: Okay, I get where this is going. So, you've already decided that I'm guilty. I want a lawyer.", "[SCENE 5] [Act 5]", "( Cut: EXT: Kalorama Park dumpster)", "ARASTOO: These wrappers are from the vendor who sells chicken. They're clean.", "HODGINS: So far none of the food stalls show evidence of fungus.", "ARASTOO: Well, I thought if you use a screwdriver to open up cans, maybe food got on it, too.", "HODGINS: Well, look at the bright side, now we can eat this Pad Thai.", "ARASTOO: It does look delicious.", "HODGINS: Hey, there's definitely some kind of eukaryotic organism growing on this. These trash bags, they all come from the restroom, huh?", "ARASTOO: This is not how I imagined spending my day.", "HODGINS: Do me a favor; separate all the bags from the restroom from the others.", "ARASTOO: Working on two degrees and this is where I end up. Tuition money well spent.", "HODGINS: Hey, hey, hey - Blastomyces Dermatitidis. All right. Park janitor collected what we needed.", "ARASTOO: Look what else he has. (Vaziri spots Derrick with a trash picker.)", "HODGINS: I think we just found the murder weapon.", "[SCENE 1] [Act 6]", "( Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Bone Room)", "BRENNAN: It's possible that this was the murder weapon.", "CAM: Okay.", "BRENNAN: Would you be happier if I said it was probable that it was the murder weapon instead of possible?", "CAM: Sometimes decreasing the probability makes it tougher to identify the murderer.", "BRENNAN: You mean we know what, when and how but we have no evidence tying this weapon to a specific who.", "CAM: Really, it could be anybody. But, it's good that we found the weapon.", "BRENNAN: Wait. It seems the murderer chased the victim through the park. Both would want to know why.", "CAM: Shakespeare said the victim was a pickpocket. Maybe one of his angry marks caught him at it.", "BRENNAN: Okay, so the angry mark grabs the trash picker and catches up to the victim at the construction site.", "CAM: Stabs him in the back, tosses him into the foundation.", "BRENNAN: The slits the plastic and shoves his body beneath it.", "CAM: I know what you're thinking. We already looked for the fingerprints on the plastic where it was cut. It's all degraded and smeared from the blood. The forensic team found nothing useful.", "BRENNAN: No, no, Cam, along the slit was the wrong place to look.", "[SCENE 2] [Act 6]", "(Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Platform)", "CAM: What is she doing?", "BRENNAN: Dr. Hodgins, would you come over here and be a corpse?", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: Sweetie, you do mean pretend to be a corpse, right? Because the way you're holding that knife, you're looking a little slasher-y.", "BRENNAN: No, this knife is not for Dr. Hodgins. Now the curve in the slit suggests that the murderer held the knife in his right hand.", "CAM: And the slash extended one point five meters, performed in one smooth movement.", "HODGINS: Careful where you're going with that razor sharp blade there.", "BRENNAN: (Pushes Hodgins through the slit) there. There.", "CAM: Uh, there? What there?", "ANGELA: Right. She supported her weight with her left hand. So she left a full palm print on the plastic.", "CAM: How do you get a six month old palm print off a piece of plastic that's encased in concrete?", "HODGINS: (Pops back up through the slit.) I need some gold.", "[SCENE 3] [Act 6]", "(Cut: INT: Hannah's Hospital Room)", "HANNAH: Did you catch the murderer.", "BOOTH: Well, technically attempted murderer since you survived.", "HANNAH: I meant the dancer killer, not the journalist shooter.", "BOOTH: We'll catch him, don't worry. And we'll catch whoever did this to you.", "HANNAH: Ten bucks says I catch him before you do.", "BOOTH: I'm not a betting man, but if I was I'd definitely raise the stakes.", "HANNAH: Obviously whoever shot me is a cop who's afraid of getting caught.", "BOOTH: I think you should back off.", "HANNAH: You've gotta be kidding.", "BOOTH: What? No. At least until you get your health back. Then we can lull him into a false sense of security. Catch him together.", "HANNAH: Can you please lean in? Closer. A little closer. (unintelligible). Thank you for being my bid, scary protector.", "[SCENE 4] [Act 6]", "(Cut: INT: Jeffersonian - Hodgins' Lab)", "HODGINS: Now the process is called vacuum metal deposition.", "ANGELA: Well, his looks like a popcorn machine.", "HODGINS: Now, gold will bind with the lipids from fingerprints at the atomic level. Now this technique involves coating a thin layer of thermalized metallic dust onto the evidence.", "CAM: It has to be gold?", "HODGINS: Well, yeah, gold conducts electricity better than any other non-corrosive metal. What did you have to pay for it yourself?", "CAM: Go. Do.", "HODGINS: Okay, here goes the gold. Now evaporated zinc will only condense onto metal. Since the gold has bonded with the fingerprints, there's more metal on the print than the rest of the sample. Voila.", "ANGELA: It worked.", "CAM: Thank goodness. Oh.", "ANGELA: That is not the maintenance guy from the park's hand print.", "HODGINS: How do you know?", "CAM: It's too small. It's a child.", "ANGELA: Or a woman.", "[SCENE 5] [Act 6]", "( Cut: INT: FBI Hoover Building - Conference Room)", "BRENNAN: What if the other one doesn't drink anything?", "BOOTH: Ah, we turned the air conditioning up in the room to suck all the moisture out of it. So which one do you think it is?", "BRENNAN: I have no idea.", "BOOTH: Ah, think of it as a game. All right. Take a guess, just between the two of us. No one's gonna hear you. Go ahead. Guess, guess, guess, guess.", "BRENNAN: Well, the ballet teacher seems very mean and vindictive. Plus she's deceptively strong. And she's not afraid to be violent.", "BOOTH: Sorry, wrong.", "BRENNAN: How do you know?", "BOOTH: Well, I went through all the police reports of the pickpocket incidents that happened out at Kalorama Park.", "BRENNAN: What did that tell you?", "BOOTH: That not one incident out of dozens ever occurs while Beverly Houle or Robert Pearson were performing.", "BRENNAN: So they were the team that Sweets heard about from the Shakespeare statue.", "BOOTH: He cheated her.", "BRENNAN: She chased him with the garbage picker. Stuck him in the back. End of story.", "BOOTH: Yeah. But when a woman kills a man it's never just about the money.", "BRENNAN: You're implying there was some kind of sexual tension involved.", "BOOTH: When that goes south all bets are off.", "BRENNAN: There's no honor amongst thieves or ex-lovers.", "BOOTH: (Watches as second suspect takes a drink.) That's it. Show time. (Booth shows the picture of the print to the two suspects) busted.", "BRENNAN: Her body language doesn't prove anything.", "BOOTH: Well, we have different definitions of that, for sure. That's why nobody can thwart our criminological brilliance.", "BRENNAN: Did you read that off a restaurant placemat?", "BOOTH: Comic book. I'm on a self improvement kick, all right?", "[SCENE 6] [Act 6]", "(Cut: EXT: Night Shot - D.C. Cityscape) (Cut: INT: Hannah's Hospital Room - Day)", "HANNAH: Temperance. Come on in.", "BRENNAN: How do you feel?", "HANNAH: I'm alive, thanks to you. Hey, where's my gift?", "BRENNAN: Excuse me?", "HANNAH: Listen, I get it. You saved my life. And I'm very grateful. But traditionally when you visit someone in the hospital, you bear gifts.", "BRENNAN: Well, that custom began as a replacement for religious sacrifice.", "HANNAH: As a way to get the gods to take mercy on the sick person.", "BRENNAN: Yes. But I don't believe in that.", "HANNAH: But you do believe in cultural traditions.", "BRENNAN: Of course, but...", "HANNAH: So? Since I'm not above a little supplication every once in a while, maybe you should give me your sunglasses.", "BRENNAN: Uh, seriously?", "HANNAH: Sure.", "BRENNAN: Okay. There you go.", "HANNAH: Thank you.", "BRENNAN: Perhaps you should be more careful in what stories you pursue in the future.", "HANNAH: Why?", "BRENNAN: Booth would be very unhappy if you died.", "HANNAH: Would you back down, Temperance, if you thought you were working on something important?", "BRENNAN: No. No I wouldn't.", "HANNAH: Well. Aren't we a pair? I guess Seeley's going to have to resign himself to being worried as long as we're both around.", "BRENNAN: We are. We are quite a pair. They look good on you.", "(The two continue chatting while the scenes fades to black.)", "END." ]

[ "When human remains are discovered in the world's largest chocolate bar, a \"sweet\" event for a candymaker quickly turns bitter. As eccentric chocolate factory owner Jimmy Walpert deals with the tragedy, the team soon discovers that the victim was a mysterious character whose past is full of secrets, lies and love affairs. Meanwhile, Cam struggles with her daughter's decision to attend a university that fails to meet her high standards, and Hodgins asks Angela to arrange a party to announce her not-so-secret pregnancy." ]

[ "(Open scene: A crowd is gathered in a large outdoor tent with a blue curtain drawn acrossed a stage. JIMMY WALPERT is standing on the stage in front of the curtain, holding a microphone.)", "JIMMY WALPERT: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Is there anyone here today who happens to like chocolate?", "(Crowd cheers)", "WALPERT: Of course you do! Then as your purveyor of pleasure, your dean of delight, I have something very special for you today. But first, everybody close your eyes. Today, Walpert Chocolate is proud and pleased to bring you the world's largest chocolate bar!", "(WALPERT EMPLOYEE unveils chocolate bar from behind the curtain. Crowd applauds. WALPERT points to OFFICIALS, who nod)", "WALPERT: Yes! It's official. This is the biggest, best-tasting chocolate bar in the world. Six feet wide, 15 feet long, and you are all going to get a gigantic taste of it.", "(Crowd cheers. WALPERT EMPLOYEES start to saw into the chocolate bar)", "WALPERT: Named the best in the bunch by Chocolatiere Monthly, our new, gigantically good chocolate bars are the latest in a long-standing Walpert Chocolate tradition of award-winning confections. Since 1948, we've...", "(The saw has hit something in the chocolate, creating a grinding noise, and has stopped moving)", "WALPERT EMPLOYEE: Saw's...stuck", "(The crowd murmers while liquid starts to seep out of the chocolate bar)", "SCOTT KIMPER: Something's wrong", "WALPERT: Here, uh, let me give you a hand there.", "(WALPERT attempts to move the saw, more liquid splatters on the ground. He applied more pressure with a grunt, and the candy bar opens, with red liquid pouring out of the center of the bar. The crowd screams and cover their noses. KIMPER gags. It was a body inside of the bar)", "WALPERT: What is that?", "(Cut to: Later that day, in the tent. CAMILLE SAROYAN and DR. BRENNAN are examining the remains while BOOTH stands behind them.)", "CAM: Decomposition's almost complete. I don't know how I can separate the organic material from the chocolate.", "BRENNAN: Oscoxa suggests female. The earliest stages of spondylosis indicate an age range in the late 20s.", "BOOTH: Hey, maybe it's an OompaLoompa.", "(He dances like an OompaLoompa. BRENNAN looks at him, then imitates the dance)", "BRENNAN: I don't know what that is.", "BOOTH: OompaLoompa. OompaLoompa.", "CAM: Gasses that would normally be released into the air during decomposition were trapped in the hard chocolate, reducing the soft tissue to a putrid fluid.", "(WALPERT and CHEF PERSON enter)", "WALPERT: Agent Booth? I'm, uh, Jimmy Walpert. I'm sorry that I wasn't here, but I-I got a bit sick.", "BOOTH: Well, that's no surprise there.", "WALPERT: This is Scott.", "KIMPER: Scott Kimper. K-I-M-P-E-R. Chief Chocolate Engineer.", "BOOTH: Oh, I didn't know chocolate required engineering.", "KIMPER: Making chocolate is a science unto itself.", "BRENNAN: No, it's not. It's a technique which requires various scientific disciplines: physics, chemistry...", "BOOTH: So you guys were both present when the body was discovered?", "WALPERT: It was awful.", "KIMPER: It didn't make any sense. I was there the day we poured.", "WALPERT: So was I, and there certainly wasn't any (whispers) dead body.", "BOOTH: Really? Well, it's not a secret now, is it, Mr. Walpert?", "CAM: This is an awful lot of chocolate to pour.", "KIMPER: I tempered our new formula to withstand additional humidity and loaded up a cement mixer.", "BOOTH: When was that?", "KIMPER: Tuesday morning. 10:00.", "CAM: How long did it take to set?", "KIMPER: I confirmed solidity on Thursday, 3:30 that afternoon. I can give you my notes.", "WALPERT: I personally monitored it every eight hours. I saw nothing strange.", "BOOTH: Do you have any security cameras here, any surveillance I can take a look at? Footage?", "WALPERT: Just a temporary fence with a padlock for insurance purposes. You don't think that a child saw the chocolate and fell in?", "BRENNAN: No. The victim appears to be an adult. Judging from this section of the pelvis, female, late twenties.", "CAM: I'll tell you one thing I've noticed. That I'm sort of off chocolate.", "(Credits.)", "(Cut to the lab. The chocolate bar is on a scanner. BRENNAN and VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY are looking at a screen, while CAM is working on a table close by, straining the remains from the fluid from the bar.)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: You know, it was widely rumored that Pope Clement the 14th was killed with a cup of poisoned chocolate.", "CAM: Was he a good pope or a bad pope?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: He was no Urban the Sixth.", "CAM: Oh, no. Of course not.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, who, by the way, was the answer to my record-breaking Daily Double win on Jeopardy. The category, of course: Torture.", "BRENNAN: Was that the game that you played while I was away?", "CAM: It was more than just a game. Mr. Nigel-Murray won almost a million dollars.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Which, after travel, uh, an overindulgent lifestyle, the occasional game of chance and a, uh, a little stint in rehab, I uh...I no longer possess. But I do-I still have my memories. (whispers) Thailand...", "BRENNAN: Reassembling the chocolate made it easier to scan, but the condition of these remains is far from ideal.", "CAM: That's an understatement. Hey, rugal folds. Found a piece of stomach.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Is this a slight depression on the occipital?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Perhaps she struck her head on the mold as someone held her down in the chocolate.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Which would mean that she was drowned.", "BRENNAN: Certainly a possibility. Cam, can you analyze the lungs?", "CAM: Lungs? There are no lungs.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Definitely looks like murder.", "BRENNAN: There's nothing definite here, Mr. Nigel-Murray. It's possible the victim had a grand mal seizure while voluntarily lying in the chocolate.", "CAM: But let's call it murder just for fun.", "(ANGELA enters)", "ANGELA: Why is it so cold in here? Holy crap. Look at the size of that thing.", "BRENNAN: We turned the thermostat down so no chocolate would melt on the CT. It's on loan from Johns Hopkins.", "CAM: Johns Hopkins. Almost forgot that. Another one for Michelle's short list.", "ANGELA: I-I cannot believe she's already applying to colleges.", "BRENNAN: Does Michelle know what she wants to study?", "CAM: Marine Biology, Art History, Russian Literature...she's kind of all over the place. She's actually going to be here in a few minutes so we can go over our application strategies.", "ANGELA: Don't you mean her application strategies?", "CAM: Didn't I say that?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: What's this here? On the right radius?", "BRENNAN: Oh, looks like it may be perimortem sharp-force trauma, an injury sustained in the attack. But we'll know more when the bones are clean.", "CAM: Just don't lose the chocolate.", "BRENNAN: Dr. Hodgins can help you.", "CAM: I sense a mess in our future. Speaking of which, I need to get cleaned up for Michelle.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, you know, there are many fine universities in England-uh, Oxford and Cambridge, of course, but th-th-there's also-", "CAM: You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter, and I will choke you on your own trivia and stuff your lifeless body in a locker.", "(CAM exits)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Then again, Georgetown's lovely.", "ANGELA and BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.", "BRENNAN: It's closer.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Closer.", "(Cut to CAM and MICHELLE sitting at a table in the Jeffersonian, with a pile of papers in front of them)", "CAM: Now, I know I promised that the decision was yours and yours alone, but I did send away for a few catalogs just to give you a sense of your options.", "MICHELLE: A few?", "CAM: Now, with your grades and SAT scores, plus extracurriculars, I truly think you have a shot at getting into any one of these schools. The trick is gonna be the essay question, and then talk about personal interviews later...", "MICHELLE: Uh, Cam, I think I've already decided where I want to go.", "CAM: Your top choice? That's great. Why don't we do this in tiers? Top choice, reach schools, safeties-", "MICHELLE: Uh, no, I mean, I only want to apply to one school, early decision.", "CAM: Wellesley?", "MICHELLE: Central Maine State University.", "CAM: Excuse-Central...Maine? That-that's a...", "MICHELLE: State University, Pittsfield Campus.", "CAM: I am not familiar with that university, but um, then again, I don't know much about the center of Maine.", "MICHELLE: It's a small school, but it's got a great General Studies department. That way, I won't have to narrow down my interests.", "CAM: General Studies.", "MICHELLE: Mm-hmm. Derrick's already in because he got a football scholarship.", "CAM: Ah. Derrick.", "MICHELLE: Cam. Don't say his name like that.", "CAM: I like Derrick, Michelle. I do. But this is your future. It's important.", "MICHELLE: You said this was my decision. You told me you'd support me.", "CAM: Yes, but when I see that you might be making a mistake-", "MICHELLE: So you're not supporting me?", "CAM: Unconditionally?", "MICHELLE: You're right Cam. This is my future.", "CAM: I'm sorry. Let's talk about-", "MICHELLE: No. I got to go. I'll see you later.", "(MICHELLE exits. Cut to the Royal Diner. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sitting at the counter.)", "BOOTH: I've got to tell you, I don't think I've ever, ever quite seen anything like this.", "BRENNAN: Well, anthropologically speaking, chocolate and violence often intersect. Take the ancient Aztecs. Cocoa pods were used in ritual to represent the human heart, while the seeds inside represented blood.", "BOOTH: So, what's the deal with the body? Any news?", "BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray is cleaning the bones as we speak. Some fractures appear to indicate a struggle. But we can't get a clear look until Hodgins and Mr. Nigel-Murray clean the bones.", "BOOTH: They should lick them. Lick 'em clean.", "BRENNAN: Licking would contaminate the osseous surface.", "(Cell phone rings)", "BOOTH: Joke, Bones. All right?Just a joke.All right?Sarcastic.", "(BRENNAN answers her phone)", "BRENNAN: Hello, Angela.", "ANGELA: Hey. I just sent you the victim's facial reconstruction.", "BRENNAN: Oh, convenient.", "ANGELA: Yeah. Well, I ran it through Missing Persons, and nothing came up.", "BRENNAN: All right. I'll-I'll show Booth. Thanks, Angela.", "(BRENNAN shows BOOTH the victim's picture)", "BOOTH: Yowza.", "BRENNAN: \"Yowza\" was the early 20th century exclamation you use to indicate that you are responding sexually. The victim's nasal bridge reminds me of Hannah.", "BOOTH: Her nose looks a little bit like Hannah.", "BRENNAN: She away again? Is that why you're making sexually suggestive exclamations?", "BOOTH: She's traveling with the president of the United States. She's in Munich until the weekend.", "BRENNAN: I love Munich. Ichliebe Bayern! Und Sie?", "BOOTH: So, Angela find any missing persons?", "BRENNAN: Ja. Abersiefandkeine...No match.", "BOOTH: No match. So, you know what? Let's just do this the old-fashioned way.", "BRENNAN: Hey, Booth. Yowza. That was very funny.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: It was. It was objectively very amusing.", "BOOTH: I'm laughing all the way to the door.", "(BOOTH exits)", "BRENNAN: (laughing) Yowza.", "(Cut to the lab. ANGELA is working on the Angelator. HODGINS enters.)", "HODGINS: How's my sweet thing and her precious cargo?", "ANGELA: Oh, we're fine. We're just cleaning up the 3D images of the remains. I think he really likes 3D. If-if by \"cargo\" you're implying that I already resemble a container ship, let me warn you, you ain't seen nothing yet.", "HODGINS: I can't wait until we start to tell people. I think we should tell people now. Okay?", "ANGELA: Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Um, you know, I'll tell Cam when I see her.", "HODGINS: No. This is a big deal. We need to throw a party. I mean, like, tomorrow night, Founding Fathers. We'll get food. Some drinks. I mean, everyone will be so excited for us. I can't wait to see their faces.", "ANGELA: Me neither. How about if I invite everybody? I'm afraid that you're gonna give it away.", "HODGINS: Yes, good point.", "ANGELA: Yeah.", "HODGINS: Sure. Good.", "ANGELA: Ok.", "(CAM enters)", "Hodgins: Um...Angela's got something to ask you.", "(HODGINS exits)", "ANGELA: Hodgins wants to make a big announcement and tell everybody that I am pregnant.", "CAM: But everyone already knows.", "ANGELA: I know, but Hodgins doesn't know that, because he wanted it to be his surprise. You didn't say anything, did you?", "CAM: Oh, no. No one did.", "ANGELA: Okay, good. Well, everybody's just gonna have to act surprised, and it they can't pull it off, then they just have to not come. They have to make up an excuse.", "CAM: Sounds like a plan.", "ANGELA: Okay, can you do it? Founding Fathers tomorrow night.", "CAM: Wait. Founding Fathers? I love Founding Fathers! How was that? Convincing?", "ANGELA: Yes, that was...that was...Thank you. Yeah.", "(CAM exits. Cut to the Walpert Chocolate factory. WALPERT is walking BOOTH and BRENNAN through the factory.)", "WALPERT: Oh, my God, this is Harriet Soloway.", "BRENNAN: Does she work here?", "WALPERT: Yes, in R&D. Scott!", "(KIMPER enters)", "KIMPER: Did you find out what happened?", "WALPERT: The dead body is Harriet Soloway!", "KIMPER: Harriet?! My God! I thought she was at the Cocoa Bean Symposium in Baltimore.", "WALPERT: So did I.", "BOOTH: Right. So, when was the last time you saw her?", "KIMPER: Um, Monday morning staff meeting.", "BRENNAN: You said that the chocolate was poured on Tuesday, and that it was hard by Thursday?", "KIMPER: That's right", "BOOTH: I'm gonna need to know all the people who had access to the chocolate during that period.", "KIMPER: I know my employees, Agent Booth. Nobody would ever just dump her body in the chocolate bar.", "BRENNAN: There's no evidence to indicate the body was placed in the chocolate as a means of disposal. The evidence suggests she was killed there.", "WALPERT: Death by chocolate? Oh, the press will have a field day with that.", "BOOTH: Do you guys have any personnel files? We're going to have to notify next of kin.", "KIMPER: I think she has a sister in Virginia. Um, I'll get you her file.", "(KIMPER exits)", "WALPERT: I'd like to offer a reward of $50,000 to anyone who helps us catch the murderer.", "BRENNAN: That's very generous of you.", "WALPERT: Payable in a lifetime supply of Walpert Chocolate.", "BOOTH: Right, I'm guessing the ones with the gooey center? Hey (laughs).", "(Cut to the lab. NIGEL-MURRAY is holding a tub full of hairdryers)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Your thesis is wrong, Dr. Hodgins. We should use the blow dryers. It's a more gentle process.", "(HODGINS is setting up heat lamps around the chocolate)", "HODGINS: I am the lead on this, Vincent, as well as the king of this lab. Now, the lights will melt the chocolate evenly and won't damage any evidence trapped inside.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Yes, yes, but with the hairdryers, we can localize the heat distribution. Tests supporting this have been conducted in Michoacan, Mexico.", "HODGINS: I'm going to turn the lamps on now to melt the chocolate and to stop you from talking.", "(HODGINS turns on the lamps. CAM enters)", "CAM: Ooh, stop! Turn the lamps off. Turn the lamps off.", "(HODGINS turns off the lamps)", "HODGINS: What is going on?", "CAM: I was going over Angela's 3-D images of the remains, and I found something. Okay. See these circles?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: It looks like intestinal gas.", "CAM: It's bubbles in the chocolate. Two big bubbles, trapped right here, 25 and 39 millimeters above the victim's mandible.", "HODGINS: Are you saying the chocolate trapped the victim's final breath?", "CAM: Well, I'm no expert in viscosity, but-", "NIGEL-MURRAY: I am. I am. In fact, on-on Jeopardy-", "HODGINS: Oh, make your point.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: In any endothermic reaction, the surface molecules are always the first to become stable. Therefore, it's possible that a gaseous bubble could form in the warmer liquid, but become trapped against the solid surface.", "CAM: I couldn't get any useful data from the soft tissue, so the bubbles are all I've got. If they melt away...", "HODGINS: But we have to melt the chocolate in order to get any information from the bones.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Yeah, but first, we can cut out these sections and freeze them until we discover a way to extract the gas trapped in the bubbles.", "CAM: Excellent. Do it. Mr. Nigel-Murray, if I didn't have self-control, I would kiss you.", "(CAM exits)", "HODGINS: No interesting facts off that?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Huh? Yeah, yeah. In fact, the-the satisfaction that human beings take from fantasizing is...Its directly related to...No, I don't. Uh-uh. There's no facts on...", "(Cut to a conference room in the FBI building. BOOTH is sitting with GENEVA SOLOWAY)", "SOLOWAY: Yes, that's my sister. I wondered why she wasn't calling me back.", "BOOTH: When was the last time you guys spoke?", "SOLOWAY: I don't know. A few months ago? We, um...we should have talked more. We were both so busy, we just let our lives get away from us. Are you sure it's Harriet?", "BOOTH: Well, according to the Jeffersonian, yeah. Um, are you aware of any problems she may have had? Any enemies at the chocolate factory?", "SOLOWAY: No. Chocolate? What?", "BOOTH: Are you familiar with Walpert Chocolate?", "SOLOWAY: Walpert Chocolate? No.", "BOOTH: According to the company, she'd been working there for several months, right after she graduated from culinary school.", "SOLOWAY: Culinary school? Harriet went to Penn State. This is a mistake.", "BOOTH: According to her résumé, she went to the Arrow Culinary Academy, followed by an internship at a prestigious chocolatier in New York.", "SOLOWAY: Can I see that?", "BOOTH: Sure.", "SOLOWAY: These are all lies. They're all...lies. That is her picture, and that's her name, but this résumé? This isn't her.", "(Cut to LANCE SWEETS' office. SWEETS is sitting across from BOOTH, and is eating a chocolate bar)", "SWEETS: So, she lied to get her job?", "BOOTH: Extensively.", "SWEETS: It's bold, but it doesn't necessarily mean she's pathological. Maybe she just loved chocolate.", "BOOTH: You have to eat that? I just imagine you chomping down on her cheek or something. Can you just put it away?", "SWEETS: If we don't face and overcome unsettling events in life, we are ruled by them. I'm not gonna let some ruthless killer destroy my enjoyment of chocolate. It's not gonna happen. I love chocolate too much.", "BOOTH: Give me this thing.", "(BOOTH grabs the chocolate bar and throws it away.)", "SWEETS: Come on! I was about to get to the nuts.", "BOOTH: Her sister, Geneva said that Harriet didn't even like chocolate. She said that she lied about getting this job and every other job. So I basically tracked down her actual employment records through her Social Security number, and she not only changed jobs every year, she hopped industries.", "SWEETS: It looks like she created a new résumé for each position. Here she says she's \"a world-renowned expert in the field of couture bustiers.\" Lingerie. Like a bra, only...pretty great, actually. They're very sexy. Sort of squeeze the... Uh, so you're saying that all the résumés are filled with false information?", "BOOTH: Cosmetic rep, toy company, outreach specialist, whatever that is.", "SWEETS: It's fascinating. I mean, obviously, our victim is intelligent. These résumés are perfectly tailored to make her an ideal candidate.", "BOOTH: Geneva said that Harriet was probably lying just for the fun of it.", "SWEETS: When someone lies with this sort of ease in their professional relationships, chances are they lie at least as much in their personal relationships.", "BOOTH: Well, maybe she just lied to the wrong person.", "(Cut to the lab. CAM and ANGELA are standing on either side of a table that has a piece of the chocolate bar on it ANGELA is holding the wand of an ultrasound machine to the chocolate.)", "CAM: I should be able to use the syringe to extract the gas and any aerated fluid.", "ANGELA: Ooh! Bubbles.", "CAM: Now the trick is jabbing them.", "ANGELA: Yeah, sometimes I use this thing on myself to check on the baby. Just say hi. Totally unethical, I know.", "CAM: Extremely, but so cool. My daughter wants to be a fighting hagfish.", "ANGELA: For what, a costume party?", "CAM: No, it's the mascot of Central Maine State University, where Michelle says she's going next year.", "ANGELA: Oh. Good for her. I love Maine.", "CAM: She's following a boy, Angela. I mean, you're a hedonistic, free spirit, artist type, and even you didn't do that.", "ANGELA: Thank you for the personality assessment. Yeah, I went to a good school because I chose to. Nobody made me. You should let Michelle make her own decisions, Cam. I mean, she is almost an adult.", "CAM: Almost. That's the key word here. I need to guide her, but she hates me for doing it.", "ANGELA: Well, maybe you should talk to Sweets.", "CAM: Sweets? Why would I do that?", "ANGELA: He might be able to help you deal with Michelle.", "CAM: I don't want to talk to a child about a child.", "ANGELA: Okay.", "(Cut to NIGEL-MURRAY examining the skeleton. BRENNAN enters)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: I measured the contusion we found on the skull. It matches the width of the edge of the mold they used to form the chocolate bar.", "BRENNAN: Very good work. That reinforces the theory that the victim was held down with some degree of force.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: And suffocated. The cartilage of the septum has been crushed, and there's another hairline fracture on the frontal process of the maxilla.", "BRENNAN: Pressure fractures on the margins of the orbits. Their directionality definitely suggests Harriet was suffocated while submerged, which is in keeping with Cam's postulation that the chocolate captured her last breath. Huh. This is odd.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: The radial trauma?", "BRENNAN: I originally believed it to be perimortem, but look. The remodeling was obscured by pseudoarthrosis. This injury happened about five or six months before she died. See? Remodeling on each edge. The limb must not have been properly immobilized after injury.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: So, the bone didn't fully calcify, leaving the appearance of a fresh wound.", "BRENNAN: But that wouldn't have happened to anyone who had access to modern medical treatment.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Well, maybe six months ago, she didn't have access to treatment, or she chose to deny it for some reason.", "(Cut to CAM bringing syringes on a tray to HODGINS)", "HODGINS: Ooh! Those the bubbles?", "CAM: Point seven two cc's and one point three three cc's.", "HODGINS: Wow.", "CAM: How's the chocolate coming?", "HODGINS: Done. I sifted through all 1,873 gallons of it. Nothing but the usual.Ant torsos, spider legs, rodent hairs.", "CAM: Whoa, that's the usual?", "HODGINS: Yeah. FDA permits 60 insect fragments and one rodent hair per 100 grams.", "CAM: Lovely.", "HODGINS: Yeah. Uh, hey, so are you, are you, uh, you coming tomorrow night?", "CAM: Yes.", "HODGINS: Angela asked you?", "CAM: Yes, she did, and yes, I am coming.", "HODGINS: Good.", "CAM: It's just a fun night.", "HODGINS: Yeah.", "CAM: With friends.", "HODGINS: Mm-hmm.", "CAM: It sounds good. Let me know as soon as you get the results on those, okay?", "HODGINS: Yes! Yes.", "(Cut to BOOTH and BRENNAN in an SUV. BOOTH is talking on the phone.)", "BOOTH: Great. Thanks.", "(BOOTH hangs up)", "BOOTH: So, that was the Human Resources department at the bra place. Turns out, wherever Harriet Soloway went, she had quite the reputation.", "BRENNAN: What, for lying?", "BOOTH: No, for seducing men.", "BRENNAN: Yowza!", "BOOTH: Okay. You know, that whole yowza thing, that's really not necessary.", "BRENNAN: So you're implying that Harriet might have been sexually involved with a Walpert employee?", "BOOTH: Well, I looked through her phone records, and I didn't see any evidence of it, but the last place she worked-Bellomo Sparkling Wines...", "(BRENNAN cringes)", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: I had a very bad experience drinking Bellomo Sparkling Wine.", "BOOTH: Yeah, who hasn't? Right? Anyways, Harriet had a relationship with the owner, Lawrence Bellomo, and apparently it didn't end very well.", "BRENNAN: What happened?", "BOOTH: Well, six months ago, she filed a complaint with her carrier. She was receiving harassing phone calls from a private number. Turns out they were coming from Bellomo.", "(BRENNAN's phone rings)", "BRENNAN: Brennan.", "CAM: We have the results from the first bubble.", "HODGINS: There's an extremely high concentration of carbon dioxide.", "BRENNAN: So she did exhale while submerged.", "CAM: There are also traces of oxygen, nitrogen, hydrochloric acid, acetic acid, oenanthic acid, decanoic acid, glycerine, glucose, ethanol...", "HODGINS: It was a postmortem eructation.", "BOOTH: Oh, god. That sounds bad.", "CAM: It's a burp.", "BOOTH: A burp? Corpses burp?", "HODGINS: Yeah. Isn't that awesome?", "BRENNAN: The combination of acids and sugar sounds like ingredients.", "CAM: It's champagne.", "HODGINS: So I went to the liquor store and I bought every brand available. We ran it through the GC Mass Spec to compare their volatile composition.", "BOOTH: Ah. Bellomo Sparkling Wine.", "HODGINS: Damn.", "CAM: How did you know?", "BRENNAN: It could just be coincidence.", "BOOTH: Well, could be, but we should still ask Lawrence Bellomo a few questions.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "(Cut to the interrogation room. LAWRENCE BELLOMO is being questioned by BOOTH and BRENNAN.)", "BELLOMO: Just because she was drinking Bellomo does not mean I was drinking Bellomo with her. Everybody drinks Bellomo.", "BOOTH: Everybody drinks Bellomo once, Mr. Bellomo. Phone records show that you were calling Harriet repeatedly.", "BELLOMO: I just wanted to talk to her, all right? I was having a hard time.", "BOOTH: Why? Because she broke up with you?", "BELLOMO: That and my business. Everything was going wrong at the same time. You know what I'm saying? A perfect storm.", "BOOTH: Yeah. What happened?", "BELLOMO: Well, I hired Harriet about a year ago. We started seeing each other, and I thought we were gonna get married. Six months later, out of the blue, she dumps me. Quits. Says she needs her space. What the hell does that even mean?", "BRENNAN: Nothing. Space being neutral; or in some cases, negative, can't be acquired, therefore-", "BOOTH: Just go on. Continue.", "BELLOMO: Well, because having a broken heart's not bad enough, a month later, I lost the contract with my biggest distributor.", "BOOTH: How much do you know about her personal life? Her history?", "BELLOMO: What she told me. And her sister. I know her sister too. \"Knew\" her.", "BOOTH: You slept with her sister?", "BELLOMO: We had a little fling. That's how I met Harriet. She was staying at Geneva's for a couple of days, and she needed a job and...she had an impressive résumé.", "BOOTH: You dumped Geneva?", "BELLOMO: Yeah, well good thing too. Geneva was nuts. When she heard I was with Harriet, she went insane. You know that woman waited for me in a tree outside my house? She almost took out my eye. Those girls hate each other's guts.", "(Cut to SOLOWAY in the interrogation room with BOOTH)", "BOOTH: Why didn't you tell us about Lawrence Bellomo?", "SOLOWAY: Lawrence is-is ancient history. Did he kill Harriet?", "BOOTH: I'll ask the questions. You were jealous of your sister, weren't you?", "SOLOWAY: What are you getting at Agent Booth? Because I don't think I like it.", "BOOTH: Well, Harriet was beautiful; led more of an exciting life. You, on the other hand, led a more...", "SOLOWAY: Boring? Are you saying my life is boring? So-so I whacked my sister?", "BOOTH: I'm just thinking, you know, Harriet stole your boyfriend last year. She probably stole your boyfriend last week. So you got upset, and you whacked her.", "SOLOWAY: Okay, I got a little crazy when Lawrence dumped me, but I just couldn't believe he fell for her act.", "BOOTH: Her act?", "SOLOWAY: Harriet was a phony. Ever since we were little, she would manipulate people to get whatever she wanted. No one knew. Everyone loved her. So-so yeah, you're right, I was jealous. But I would never hurt her.", "BOOTH: She was stabbed in the arm six months ago. Do you know who may have done that?", "SOLOWAY: Her arm? I don't know. She probably deserved it. But it wasn't me. I hated her, sure, but...I didn't kill her.", "(Cut to the bone room in the Jeffersonian. NIGEL-MURRAY and BRENNAN are talking)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Interestingly, the cacao tree is a species of the genus Theobroma, which translates from the Latin as the \"food of the gods.\"", "BRENNAN: What would actually be interesting is an explanation of the perimortem fractures, Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Of course. They support our scenario of the attack. With one hand the killer held the victim down, fracturing the clavicle and the sternum, whilst suffocating her with the other hand.", "BRENNAN: Anything else?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, yes. I took a closer look at the antemortem trauma that somehow escaped medical care. There is a very small proliferative lesion on the distal edge of the fracture.", "BRENNAN: It's an adventitious cyst. The compromised bone formed a callus around a foreign object that was embedded in the open wound. Do you have this on x ray?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Yes.", "BRENNAN: It looks like a small rock.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh! Rock was the subject of my only disputed Jeopardy answer.", "BRENNAN: Is this relevant, Mr. Nigel-Murray?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: The category was \"Famous Jameses.\" The question: \"He is widely considered the best rock guitarist of all time.\" So, obviously, my answer: \"Who is Jimmy Page?\" No. It's not the response. The response they were looking for: \"Who is Jimi Hendrix?\"", "BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: I know. I know. Jimi Hendrix. First of all, Jimmy Page is a better musician. That's a fact. Also, Jimi Hendrix? His original birth name is Johnny. So he doesn't, doesn't even belong in the category.", "BRENNAN: That wasn't relevant at all, Mr. Nigel-Murray. Take a microslice of the cyst and have Dr. Hodgins identify the foreign object.", "(BRENNAN exits)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Jimmy Page is always relevant.", "(Cut to SWEETS' office. CAM is sitting across from SWEETS)", "SWEETS: Well, you're here so you must want my honest opinion.", "CAM: I guess so.", "SWEETS: I think you're overreacting, Dr. Saroyan.", "CAM: Overreacting? D-Do...Are shrinks even allowed to use that word? Okay, so why am I overreacting?", "SWEETS: I have a friend, Tim Swift, who was the golden boy in my high school. He got into Harvard but dropped out after the first semester. Wound up in some community college where he majored in weed. Today, he manages a five-billion-dollar charitable trust that's saved thousands of lives.", "CAM: I'm sorry. You lost me at \"majoring in weed.\"", "SWEETS: The late teens and early twenties are a time for experimentation and growth. And, you know, making a few mistakes is just part of that process.", "CAM: Oh, you're making it worse.", "SWEETS: It's not that I think that college isn't a big deal-of course it is-but come on. This is Michelle we're talking about. She's an exceptional young woman.", "CAM: She is which is why she deserves to go to an exceptional school. This decision-", "SWEETS: It's probably going to change, anyway. You know, she and Derrick will have a fight, or she'll start to feel left out when her friends visit schools. I don't think this is a done deal.", "CAM: Applications are due in a few months. What if she realizes too late? I'm responsible for her, Dr. Sweets.", "SWEETS: Well, you know, it may not unfold the way you'd like it to, but Michelle is a smart and wonderful young woman worthy of your trust. Let this play itself out.", "CAM: I don't know if I can do that.", "SWEETS: I do. You've been a great mother to her.", "CAM: Remind me again why I should listen to someone who doesn't even take care of a pet.", "SWEETS: Right. I sponsor a water buffalo in the Philippines.", "CAM: (laughs) And I suppose you wouldn't get in the way of her decisions.", "SWEETS: Oh, I wouldn't get in her way, period.", "(Cut to the bone room, where NIGEL-MURRAY is examining the skeleton, and making notes on a clipboard. HODGINS enters)", "HODGINS: You made my day, Vincent. Thank you.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Was it the vivid recounting of my debauched weekend in Rio? Or was it that juicy little morsel regarding SeñorTrebek?", "HODGINS: Both entertaining. But what really does it for me is that foreign object you gave me to I.D. It's a bug. Helopeltistheobromae.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: The object we found lodged inside the bone was an insect?", "HODGINS: Most of one. It's part of the Miridae family. It's found primarily in Indonesia.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: I'll go and tell Dr. Brennan.", "HODGINS: Well, when you do, make sure you tell her the best part. One of the little guy's favorite snacks?Cocao plants.", "(Cut to BRENNAN and BOOTH sitting at a table in the FBI building with papers strewn all over the table)", "BRENNAN: The evidence shows that Harriet was in Indonesia six months ago. Probably on a cocoa plantation, which would explain the insect.", "BOOTH: Wait a second, here we go. Indonesia. Cocoa.", "BRENNAN: Yes.", "BOOTH: Ha! Ha! Ambrosia Chocolates. Remember them?", "BRENNAN: Yes. They're expensive.", "BOOTH: Yeah.", "BRENNAN: And delicious. I love the cream center, although not that much anymore.", "BOOTH: Every Ambrosia employee is sent down to Indonesia to take part in this immersion program to study about cocoa.", "BRENNAN: But Harriet didn't work for Ambrosia Chocolates.", "BOOTH: Look at all the companies, okay, that she worked for after she quit. They all took a hit. Remember Bellomo Wines?", "BRENNAN: Yes. Lawrence Bellomo said that he lost a major distributor of his wine.", "BOOTH: Every company that Harriet worked for was a victim of corporate espionage.", "BRENNAN: Walpert was developing a new line of chocolate.", "BOOTH: Ambrosia sends Harriet to Indonesia...", "BRENNAN: Because Ambrosia is her real employer. Harriet was a spy.", "BOOTH: Yowza.", "BRENNAN: Yowza.", "(Cut to a conference room in the FBI building. GAIL SLEVIN is sitting at a table. BOOTH enters)", "BOOTH: So, Gail Slevin, is it? Right. As president of Ambrosia Chocolates, you have been trying to buy out Walpert for years, that right?", "SLEVIN: We've made some overtures. It's not really a priority.", "BOOTH: Um, from my count, six overtures. Walpert has not bitten. That must have been frustrating, right?", "SLEVIN: Not really. Just business.", "BOOTH: Just business? Right? Are you familiar with the Economic Espionage Act?", "SLEVIN: No, why would I be?", "BOOTH: Well, you know if I find proof that you've illegally obtained a competitor's trade secrets, you're looking at at least ten years in prison.", "SLEVIN: I agreed to come down here to discuss the accident at Walpert's factory. Suddenly I need a lawyer?", "BOOTH: Well, it wasn't an accident, you see. It was murder. And we have proof that the victim worked for you and has been since she entered your immersion program six months ago. See, Harriet was a spy.", "SLEVIN: Am I here because you think I killed her, Agent Booth?", "BOOTH: Well, if you didn't, you might want to cooperate. It might make negotiating a plea on that espionage charge a little easier.", "SLEVIN: Harriet entered the immersion program just like everybody else so that she seemed just like any other employee.", "BOOTH: How did she hurt her arm?", "SLEVIN: Happened during the harvesting part of the program. Go hand machetes to 16 Ivy League graduates. See what happens. She sliced herself, it got infected. The plantation's in a remote area, so it was impossible to get sophisticated medical care.", "BOOTH: All in the name of chocolate?", "SLEVIN: This is a competitive business, Agent Booth. Billions of dollars are at stake. Harriet was hired at Walpert to find the company's weaknesses.", "BOOTH: And maybe steal some trade secrets along the way.", "SLEVIN: She called me last week, whispering in the phone saying she was gonna quit.", "BOOTH: Did she say why?", "SLEVIN: She thought Jimmy Walpert was onto her. I told her to be careful. Jimmy has a temper.", "(Cut to the lab. CAM is working on the computer. MICHELLE enters)", "MICHELLE: Cam?", "CAM: Oh. Hey. I'm just, uh, working on some disgusting stuff here.", "MICHELLE: Uh, Derrick flew up to Maine this week to sign his letter of intent. He brought this back for me.", "(MICHELLE holds up a sweatshirt with the University of Central Maine mascot on it)", "CAM: He's actually a much cuter mascot than I imagined.", "MICHELLE: I was hoping you'd take it. Maybe even wear it once in a while? I just...I still want you to be proud of me.", "CAM: Oh, Michelle. I-I'm extremely proud of you. And I'm so sorry I haven't been supportive. This is your decision, and you have my support. One hundred percent.", "MICHELLE: Thank you.", "CAM: Go, Hagfish!", "MICHELLE: I'll see you at home.", "(MICHELLE exits)", "CAM: Okay. Okay.", "(NIGEL-MURRAY enters)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Dr. Saroyan, have you a minute?", "(Cut to the bone examination room)", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Interestingly, English Quakers believed that violence among the poor would be ameliorated if they could be persuaded to give up alcohol in favor of chocolate.", "CAM: I thought you had something to show me.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Oh, yes, yes. I found another perimortem injury. The fourth finger on the left hand. An asymmetry in the articular condyle with damage to the corresponding facet.", "CAM: What does that mean, a dislocated finger?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Twisted. And dislocated. Very near the time of death, yes.", "CAM: Huh. That's not a typical defensive wound. Nor does it seem to factor into our suffocation scenario. I'll make sure to tell Dr. Brennan. Very good work.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Also, very very-", "CAM: Last one, Mr. Nigel-Murray. Make it good.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: Right. Milton Hershey, who had great success spreading chocolate amongst the masses, was also a -drumroll please. You're not gonna...? Very well, I'll do it myself. (drumrolls) A Quaker.", "CAM: Huh. That's actually sort of interesting.", "(Cut to the Walpert Chocolate Factory. BOOTH and BRENNAN are walking through the factory, while WALPERT is talking to an employee.)", "BOOTH: Gail Selvin admitted Harriet was a spy, and she was scared.", "BRENNAN: Of what?", "WALPERT: It's your job to keep a lid on this Melissa! I mean, look at this article! And what about the other chocolate blogs!", "BOOTH: Mr. Walpert?", "WALPERT: Not now!", "BOOTH: Excuse me?", "WALPERT: You and your investigation are costing me big time! Now get the hell off of my property before I call the dogs.", "BRENNAN: What is he talking about?", "BOOTH: I don't know. Are you threatening a federal officer?", "WALPERT: Oh, back off! I mean it!", "BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, and if I were you, I would, pal. You believe this guy?", "(Cut to an interrogation room in the FBI building. BOOTH and BRENNAN are interrogating WALPERT)", "BOOTH: You knew what Harriet was doing, so you drowned her and left her for dead.", "BRENNAN: Suffocated her. His hand was over her mouth.", "BOOTH: Right. Got it, Bones. So, when did you discover that Harriet was working for Gail Slevin?", "WALPERT: What? That little bitch! What did she tell them?", "BOOTH: Calm down.", "WALPERT: Don't tell me to calm down. This business is my life! Get Scott in here! If he showed her anything, if he showed her one damned slip of paper!", "BRENNAN: What does Scott have to do with this?", "WALPERT: He's the chocolatier. I handle the business, but he oversees all of the new formulations. I'm, I'm just the face, like the Colonel, but my suit is way nicer. No string tie or anything.", "BOOTH: Did Harriet spend a lot of time with Mr. Kimper?", "WALPERT: You think I give a crap? I hope so. Scott's wife is....a horse. You could actually put a saddle on her. And Harriet was, uh, quite a tease.", "(Cut to BOOTH's office. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sitting at Booth's desk)", "BOOTH: Old Scott doesn't hold back on the credit card charges. Take a look at that charge.", "BRENNAN: MinuteDivorce.com.", "BOOTH: Filed online last Sunday.", "BRENNAN: The same day that he spend $12.99 at the liquor store. Bellomo sparkling wine, I imagine.", "BOOTH: And $2,000 for an engagement ring.", "BRENNAN: Which he yanked off her finger, dislocating it.", "BOOTH: I'm telling you, all of the evidence points back to Scott Kimper.", "BRENNAN: But, unfortunately, it's just circumstantial.", "(Cut to the lab. CAM is filling out an application for Johns Hopkins. HODGINS enters.)", "HODGINS: Got the analysis of the latest air bubble. It's good news.", "CAM: Let's see.", "HODGINS: Is this Michelle's essay to Johns Hopkins?", "CAM: Yes.", "HODGINS: It's very good.", "CAM: It is.", "HODGINS: I thought she wasn't applying to any other school besides...Oh. You're writing Michelle's...Oh, that's bad. I mean, that's just wrong.", "CAM: No, Dr. Hodgins. That is being a mother, and I assume I can trust your discretion?", "HODGINS: Of course...Mom.", "(HODGINS exits, tsking)", "(Cut to BRENNAN's office. CAM enters)", "CAM: We just got the results back from the second bubble we found trapped in the chocolate.", "BRENNAN: You mean the eructation.", "CAM: This one wasn't a burp. It was her final exhalation. It contained oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and a trace amount of blood.", "BRENNAN: Harriet's blood.", "CAM: Not Harriet's blood. Someone else's.", "BRENNAN: If it was her final exhalation, then it must belong to the person who was with her when she died.", "CAM: Yes. We have the killer.", "(Cut to the interrogation room. KIMPER is being interrogated.)", "KIMPER: She said she loved me. I trusted her.", "BOOTH: Well, you weren't the first.", "BRENNAN: She worked for Ambrosia Chocolate.", "KIMPER: I shared everything with her-my recipes, everything. If she hadn't been inside, that would have been the best chocolate bar you ever had.", "(Cut to a street in Washington D.C. BOTH and BRENNAN are walking on the sidewalk)", "BRENNAN: He killed her because he loved her?", "BOOTH: Oh, he fell in love with a fake. He found out, he couldn't handle it.", "BRENNAN: Love is an idiot.", "BOOTH: What?", "BRENNAN: I was personifying a concept. It's poetic. How does someone fall in love with something that isn't even real?", "BOOTH: Oh, that's a big question, 'cause you're just going to say that it's your brain releasing chemicals that just drive you crazy. I'm not even going there. You know what? I'm not gonna have this conversation.", "BRENNAN: But you admit that love is an idiot, right?", "BOOTH: Yup (phone rings) Oh, look at that. Uh, Hannah's back. Um, you know, this whole thing that we're going to here...", "BRENNAN: The official announcement that Angela is pregnant?", "BOOTH: Yeah, I feel, um...I feel pretty stupid pretending.", "BRENNAN: You're trying to find a justification so you can go home and have s*x with Hannah, right?", "BOOTH: Yeah. Plus, we already all know anyway.", "BRENNAN: But Hodgins doesn't know we know.", "BOOTH: Yeah, but Angela says if you can't pretend not knowing, then you shouldn't go, so I shouldn't go.", "BRENNAN: If you want, I can lie to all of our friends and say that you have pressing FBI business.", "BOOTH: I don't like the idea of lying to our friends, but I'm going to go with it, thanks.", "BRENNAN: Tell Hannah, welcome home.", "(Cut to Founding Father's Bar. The squints are all sitting around a table.)", "HODGINS: Do you think everyone's here?", "(ANGELA looks at the table)", "CAM: Just react to something big.", "ANGELA: Yes, I do. Just go ahead.", "HODGINS: Okay. All right.Um, hello everyone.Uh, all four of you.Our friends. Um, thank you so much for coming out tonight to hear our big announcement. Maybe you've already guessed?", "CAM: Nope!", "BRENNAN: No.", "ANGELA: Okay, um, well, what we'd like to share with all of your is, um...", "HODGINS: Yes, our-our best friends. Good, um. Vincent, what's the matter?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: I beg of you not look at me directly. Please just say what you've come to say.", "HODGINS: Okay, yeah. Um. Ready?", "ANGELA: Yes.", "HODGINS: Angela and I are going to have a baby!", "BRENNAN: A baby! Yay!", "CAM: Congratulations!", "BRENNAN: Wonderful! A baby!", "CAM: That is so awesome!", "BRENNAN: Baby!", "CAM: So good!", "BRENNAN: Wonderful!", "HODGINS: Stop. You knew, didn't you?", "BRENNAN: No.", "CAM: No. Uh-uh.", "BRENNAN: We didn't.", "SWEETS: About what?", "NIGEL-MURRAY: No, I was surprised.", "HODGINS: Mm-mm. They knew.", "ANGELA: No. No. They didn't...They didn't know. Did you know?", "GROUP: Nope. Uh-uh.", "HODGINS: That's why no one else is here. Because you told them if they couldn't fake surprise, not ot show up.", "BRENNAN: I-I think we were very convincing.", "CAM: I actually felt like I was hearing it for the first time.", "HODGINS: I can't believe you told them without me.", "ANGELA: I didn't tell them honey, they guessed.Didn't you guys guess on your own?", "SWEETS: Yeah.", "ANGELA: Yes. Yeah, it was the glow, or the vomiting, or something, but the point is, is that we're all together, and you guys are all very happy for us, right?", "BRENNAN: That part is true.", "SWEETS: To the Hodgins family!", "NIGEL-MURRAY: To the Hodgins...Montenegro...", "BRENNAN: To the Montenegro, Hodgins family.", "NIGEL-MURRAY: And the wee one!", "HODGINS: To our family. Yay! To our family.", "CAM: I'm so glad that's over!", "END." ]

[ "Buffy Summers arrives in Sunnydale and is not happy to meet her new Watcher , Rupert Giles . A mysterious \"friend\" offers guidance, but Buffy resists her destiny until Willow and Jesse are abducted. Buffy saves Willow from an ordinary vampire, but loses track of Jesse in a confrontation with Luke , the Master's vampire vessel." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School at night. The camera pans around from the side of the building to the main entrance. Cut to a hall. The camera moves down the hall past the trophy case and at the library turns to the right down another hall. Cut to a science classroom. The camera pans low along a row of desks. Cut to the windows. The counter in front of them is full of various things. A skeleton, some vertebrae, jars of things in formaldehyde, a skull and a microscope. A fist punches through a window pane and reaches in to undo the clasp. It's a boy and a girl, sneaking into the school.", "Darla: Are you sure this is a good idea?", "Boy: It's a great idea, now come on. They crawl in. Cut to the hall. They come out of the classroom and walk down the hall.", "Darla: Do you go to school here?", "Boy: I used to. On top of the gym it's so cool. You can see the whole town. He continues down the hall, but she stops him close to the intersection.", "Darla: I, I, I, I don't wanna go up there.", "Boy: Aw, you can't wait, huh?", "Darla: We're just gonna get in trouble.", "Boy: Yeah, you can count on it. They almost kiss when Darla startles, draws a quick breath and turns her head around to look down the hall.", "Darla: What was that?", "Boy: What was what?", "Darla: I heard a noise.", "Boy: It's nothing!", "Darla: Uh, uh, maybe it's something.", "Boy: Or maybe it's some *thing*!", "Darla: That's not funny. He looks down the other hall.", "Boy: Hellooooo! (to Darla) There's nobody here.", "Darla: Are you sure? (looks away)", "Boy: Yes, I'm sure.", "Darla: Okay. She turns back to him all vamped out. She growls and bites him. He grunts in pain as they sink to the floor. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. The camera shows a shot of her in bed from above. She's having the nightmares. The Master's lair, the cemetery, the Master, visions of vampires, other demons and various events and artifacts. She wakes with a start.", "Joyce: (off camera) Buffy?", "Buffy: (sitting up) I'm up, Mom!", "Joyce: (off camera) Don't wanna be late for your first day!", "Buffy: (to herself) No... Wouldn't want that.", "Cut to the school. The camera pans from the street to the main building.", "Cut to Joyce pulling up to the school in her Jeep to drop off Buffy.", "Joyce: Okay! Buffy gets out.", "Joyce: Have a good time. I know you're gonna make friends right away, just think positive. (gives a thumbs up) Buffy looks through the open car door and gives her mother a quick nod. She turns to go and closes the door behind her.", "Joyce: And honey? Buffy looks back at her mom again.", "Joyce: Try not to get kicked out?", "Buffy: I promise.", "Joyce: Okay. Buffy faces the school and lets out a deep breath. Joyce drives off. Cut to Xander, doing his usual bob and weave through the crowd on his skateboard.", "Xander: 'Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, not sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me... (notices Buffy) Whoa! He stares at her and doesn't notice that he's headed right for the stair railing. He crashes into it and falls beneath it, grunting in pain. Willow walks up and has to step high to avoid tripping over his legs.", "Xander: I'm Okay. I feel good. She looks down at him, smiling and pulling her hair behind her ear.", "Xander: (sees her) Willow! You're so very much the person that I wanted to see! (gets up)", "Willow: Oh, really? They start walking toward the school.", "Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math.", "Willow: Uh, which part?", "Xander: The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy?", "Willow: Well, what's in it for me?", "Xander: A shiny nickel!", "Willow: Okay. Do you have 'Theories in Trig'? You should check it out.", "Xander: Check it out?", "Willow: From the library? Where the books live.", "Xander: Right, I'm there! See, I wanna change...", "Cut to the hall just inside the door.", "Jesse: Hey, hey!", "Xander: Hey, Jesse, what's what?", "Jesse: New Girl!", "Xander: That's right, I saw her. Pretty much a hottie!", "Willow: I heard someone was transferring...", "Xander: So tell!", "Jesse: Tell what?", "Xander: What's the sitch, what do ya know about her?", "Jesse: New girl!", "Xander: Well, you're certainly a font of nothing!", "Cut to Principal Flutie's office. Buffy is seated. He has her school records and walks around the desk to his chair as he looks them over.", "Mr. Flutie: Buffy Summers, sophomore, late of Hemery High in Los Angeles. Interesting record, quite a career... He sits, takes the sheet he's reading and tears it into four pieces.", "Mr. Flutie: Welcome to Sunnydale! A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper, even if it says... (reads) Whoa.", "Buffy: Mr. Flutie...", "Mr. Flutie: All the kids here are free to call me Bob.", "Buffy: Bob...", "Mr. Flutie: But they don't. He begins reassembling the torn sheet.", "Buffy: I know my transcripts are a little... colorful.", "Mr. Flutie: Heeey... We're not caring about that. Do you think, uh, 'colorful' is the word? (tapes the paper) Not, uh, 'dismal'?", "Buffy: Wasn't *that* bad!", "Mr. Flutie: You burned down the gym.", "Buffy: (exhales) I did, I really did, but... You're not seeing the big picture here, I mean, that gym was full of vampi... asbestos.", "Mr. Flutie: Buffy, don't worry. Any other school they might say 'watch your step', or 'we'll be watching you'... But, that's just not the way *here*. We want to service your needs, and help you to respect our needs. And if your needs and our needs don't mesh... He puts the poorly repaired sheet back into her file and slaps it shut. She gives him a thin, nervous smile.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of Mr. Flutie's office. She opens her bag and rummages through it as she walks into the hall right in front of a girl and a boy. The girl bumps into her, making her lose her grip on the bag and spill its contents.", "Buffy: Oh! Sorry!", "Girl: That's okay.", "Buffy: (looks down at the mess) Oh... Xander hears the noise, looks back, quickly comes over and squats down next to her to help her gather her things.", "Xander: Can I have you? She gives him a confused look.", "Xander: Duh... (chuckles) Can I help you?", "Buffy: (smiles) Thanks.", "Xander: I don't know you, do I?", "Buffy: I'm Buffy. I'm new.", "Xander: Xander. Is, is me. Hi. (smiles)", "Buffy: Um, thanks. They finish gathering up everything.", "Xander: Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school... since we... both... go there.", "Buffy: Great! (they stand up) It was nice to meet you. She starts down the hall.", "Xander: (unimpressed with himself) We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic. He notices a stake still on the floor.", "Xander: Oh, hey! (picks it up) Hey, you forgot your... stake! Buffy doesn't hear him and continues down the hall. Xander holds on to the stake.", "Cut to a classroom. The teacher writes 'The Black Death' on the board and then turns to the class.", "Teacher: It's estimated that about 25 million people died in that one four-year span. But the fun part of the Black Plague is that it originated in Europe how? Cordelia is taking notes. So is Buffy, seated next to her.", "Teacher: As an early form of germ warfare. If you'll look at the map on page 63 you can trace the spread of the disease into Rome, and then north... Buffy doesn't have a book and looks around for help. Cordelia notices and shares her book.", "Buffy: (to Cordelia) Thanks.", "Teacher: And this popular plague led to what social changes? Steve? The bell rings and the students get up to leave.", "Cordelia: Hi! I'm Cordelia. (offers her hand)", "Buffy: (accepts it) I'm Buffy.", "Cordelia: If you're looking for a textbook of your very own there's probably a few in the library.", "Buffy: Oh, great, thanks. (they get up) Where would that be?", "Cordelia: I'll show you, come on. (they start out of the classroom) So you're from Hemery, right? In L.A.?", "Buffy: Uh, yeah.", "Cordelia: Oh, I would *kill* to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes? Buffy has to laugh as they go into the hall.", "Cut to the two of them walking down another part of the hall.", "Cordelia: Well, you'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from L.A., so you can skip the written, but let's see. Vamp nail polish.", "Buffy: Um, over?", "Cordelia: So over. James Spader.", "Buffy: He needs to call me!", "Cordelia: Frappaccinos.", "Buffy: Trendy, but tasty.", "Cordelia: John Tesh.", "Buffy: The Devil.", "Cordelia: That was pretty much a gimme, but... you passed!", "Buffy: Oh, goody! They turn toward a drinking fountain. Willow is there. She straightens up and sees them coming.", "Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears.", "Willow: Uh, oh, well, my mom picked it out.", "Cordelia: No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done? Willow looks at the fountain, then back at Cordelia.", "Willow: Oh! She turns and leaves. Buffy watches her go for a moment, then looks back at Cordelia after she starts talking again.", "Cordelia: You wanna fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight (glances after Willow) they're a lot easier to avoid. Buffy lets out a nervous laugh and nods. She looks at Willow again, who has gone through the door at the end of the hall. Willow looks back at them before she continues.", "Cut to another area in the halls. The two of them continue their walk to the library.", "Cordelia: And if you're not too swamped with catching up you should come by the Bronze tonight.", "Buffy: The who?", "Cordelia: The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town.", "Buffy: Where's that? (stops outside the library doors)", "Cordelia: About a half a block from the good part of town. (laughing) We don't have a whole lot of town here. But, um, you should show!", "Buffy: Well, I'll try. (looks toward the library) Uh, thanks.", "Cordelia: Good. So, um, I'll see you in gym, and you can tell me absolutely everything there is to know about you. (waves and goes)", "Buffy: (waves back) Great! (to herself) Oh, that sounds like fun. She goes into the library. Cut to inside. She comes in and looks around. It looks deserted.", "Buffy: Hello? (continues in) Is anybody here? She looks on the counter and sees a newspaper with a picture that's been circled. The caption above the picture reads 'Local Boys Still Missing'. Giles comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She spins around, startled.", "Buffy: Ooo! (exhales) Anybody's here!", "Giles: Can I help you?", "Buffy: I was looking for some, well, books. I'm new.", "Giles: Miss Summers?", "Buffy: Good call! Guess I'm the only new kid, huh?", "Giles: I'm Mr. Giles. The librarian. I was told you were coming. He heads around behind the counter.", "Buffy: Great! So, um, I'm gonna need 'Perspectives on 20th Century...'", "Giles: (interrupting) I know what you're after! With a big grin on his face he pulls out a large old book with the word 'VAMPYR' written in gold leaf on the front cover. Buffy looks up at him with an uneasy gaze.", "Buffy: That's not what I'm looking for.", "Giles: Are you sure?", "Buffy: I'm way sure.", "Giles: (confused) My mistake. He puts the book back behind the counter. Buffy quickly leaves.", "Giles: (straightening back up) So, what is it you said... He sees her go out of the library. Their first encounter leaves him puzzled.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. Two girls are discussing Buffy.", "Aphrodisia: The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is Buffy?", "Girl: Hey, Aphrodisia!", "Aphrodisia: Oh, Hey!", "Aura: Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out, and that's why her mom had to get a new job. The girls work the combinations to their gym lockers.", "Aphrodisia: Neg!", "Aura: Pos! She was starting fights!", "Aphrodisia: Neg-ly!", "Aura: (opening her locker) Well I heard from Blue, and she said that... The dead boy falls out of the locker onto Aura's arm. She screams and lets the body fall. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside at school. Willow is sitting on a bench in front of a wall taking out her lunch. Buffy approaches her.", "Buffy: Uh, Hi! Willow, right?", "Willow: (looks up) Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move?", "Buffy: Why don't we start with 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor. (sits next to her) It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while.", "Willow: But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?", "Buffy: I can't do both?", "Willow: Not legally.", "Buffy: (exhales) Look, I really wanna get by here, new school, and... Cordelia's been really nice... to me... anyway, but, um, I kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught up.", "Willow: Oh, I could totally help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library?", "Buffy: Or not. Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins.", "Willow: Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool.", "Buffy: He's new?", "Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?", "Buffy: Not at all. Xander hops up on the wall behind the girls and sits on it between them. Jesse stands in front of them and drops his bag.", "Jesse: Hey!", "Xander: You guys busy? Are we interrupting? We're interrupting. He tosses his bag to Jesse.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Willow: Hey!", "Jesse: Hey there! He drops Xander's bag next to his own.", "Willow: Buffy, this is Jesse and that's Xander.", "Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back, old friends, very close. Then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people, but now here we are, like old times, I'm quite moved.", "Jesse: Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?", "Xander: No, it's, uh, it's not you.", "Buffy: Well, it's nice to meet you guys, I think. Xander jumps down to retrieve the stake from his bag.", "Jesse: Well, you know, we wanted to welcome ya, make ya feel at home, unless you have a scary home...", "Xander: And to return this. (holds up the stake) The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence. (hands it to her)", "Buffy: (takes it) Hah, no, um, a-a-actually it was for self-defense. Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passe'.", "Xander: So what do you do for fun, what do you like, what do you look for in a man, let's hear it.", "Jesse: If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish?", "Buffy: Gee, everyone wants to know about me. How keen.", "Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale. You're pretty big news.", "Buffy: I'm not. Really.", "Cordelia: (interrupting) Are these guys bothering you?", "Buffy: Uh, no!", "Willow: She's not hanging out with us.", "Jesse: (stands next to her) Hey! Cordelia!", "Cordelia: (to Jesse) Oh, please! (to Buffy) I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was canceled due to the *extreme* dead guy in the locker.", "Buffy: What?", "Willow: What are you talking about?", "Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker!", "Buffy: Dead.", "Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead.", "Xander: It's not just a little dead then?", "Cordelia: Don't you have an elsewhere to be?", "Jesse: Y'know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on...", "Buffy: How did he die?", "Cordelia: I don't know.", "Buffy: Well, were there any marks?", "Cordelia: Morbid much! I didn't ask!", "Buffy: (looks at everyone) Um, I gotta book. I'll, I'll see you guys later. She grabs her things and leaves. Cordelia stares after her.", "Cordelia: What's her deal?", "Cut to outside the gym. Buffy sneaks up to an outside entrance. It's locked. She uses her strength to break the door and goes in, looking around to make sure no one sees her. Cut to the locker room. Buffy finds the body and pulls back the sheet. She sees the vampire bite.", "Buffy: Oh, great!", "Cut to the library. Buffy barges in.", "Buffy: Okay, what's the sitch?", "Giles: (in the stacks) Sorry?", "Buffy: You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?", "Giles: (steps into the light) Yes. She drops her bag on the table and heads up the stairs.", "Buffy: 'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. (meets him) Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, ooo?", "Giles: I was afraid of this.", "Buffy: Well, I wasn't! It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus. And I don't care.", "Giles: Then why are you here?", "Buffy: To tell you that... I don't care, which... I don't, and... have now told you, so... bye. (turns away to go)", "Giles: Is he, w-will he... rise again?", "Buffy: (turns back) Who?", "Giles: The boy.", "Buffy: No. He's just dead.", "Giles: Can you be sure?", "Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you? Buffy turns and goes down the stairs. Giles moves over to the railing.", "Giles: You really have no idea what's going on, do you? You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning.", "Buffy: Oh, why can't you people just leave me alone?", "Giles: Because you are the Slayer. (comes down the stairs) Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires...", "Buffy: (interrupts and joins in) ...with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah... I've heard it, okay?", "Giles: I really don't understand this attitude. You, you've accepted your duty, you, you've slain vampires before...", "Buffy: Yeah, and I've both been there and done that, and I'm moving on.", "Giles: What do you know about this town? (goes into his office)", "Buffy: It's two hours on the freeway from Neiman Marcus?", "Giles: Dig a bit in the history of this place. You'll find a, a steady stream of fairly odd occurrences. Now, I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy, (comes back with four books) that things gravitate towards it that, that, that you might not find elsewhere.", "(sets them on the table)", "Buffy: Like vampires.", "He puts the volumes into Buffy's arms one by one as he lists off various monsters and demons.", "Giles: Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real!", "Buffy: What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?", "Giles: Ah, w-w-w-yes.", "Buffy: Did you get the free phone?", "Giles: Um, the calendar.", "Buffy: Cool! But, okay, (gives back the books) first of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?", "Giles: I-I'm a Watcher, I-I haven't the skill...", "Buffy: Oh, come on, stake through the heart, a little sunlight... It's like falling off a log.", "Giles: A, a Slayer slays, a Watcher...", "Buffy: ...watches?", "Giles: Yes. No! (sets down the books) He, he trains her, he, he, he prepares her...", "Buffy: Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead! Prepare me. They just look at each other for a moment. Buffy exhales, turns and leaves the library in disgust. Giles hesitates for an instant.", "Giles: (to himself) Damn! He runs after Buffy. Xander walks out from behind the stacks.", "Xander: What?", "Cut to the hall. Giles catches up with Buffy.", "Giles: It's getting worse!", "Buffy: What's getting worse? He guides her over to the wall and speaks with her in a low voice.", "Giles: The influx of the undead, the... supernatural occurrences, it's been building for years. There's a reason why you're here and a reason why it's now!", "Buffy: Because now is the time my mom moved here. She tries to evade him, but he puts his arm out to stop her.", "Giles: Something's coming, something, something... something is, is gonna happen here. Soon!", "Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me?", "Giles: The signs, as far as I can tell, point to a crucial mystical upheaval, very soon. Days. Possibly less.", "Buffy: Oh, come on! This is Sunnydale! How bad an evil can there be here?", "Cut to outside the school. The camera descends behind some bushes and sinks through the ground into the lair of the Master. There are candles everywhere. Vampires bearing torches are gathering. The camera moves around the lair as Luke speaks and eventually comes to rest on him.", "Luke: The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake, and the world will bleed. Amen!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's considering what to wear to the Bronze. She holds a shiny black outfit up to the mirror.", "Buffy: Hi! I'm an enormous slut! (holds up a blue floral dress) Hello! Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'? (lowers the dress) I used to be so good at this. Her mother comes into the room.", "Joyce: Hi, hon. Buffy returns her dresses to the closet.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Joyce: Are you, uh, going out tonight?", "Buffy: Yeah, I'm going to a club.", "Joyce: Oh. Will there be boys there?", "Buffy: No, Mom. It's a nun club.", "Joyce: Well, just be careful.", "Buffy: I will.", "Joyce: You know, I think we can make it work here. I've got my positive energy flowing... I'm gonna get the Gallery on its feet... Oh, uh, we may have found a space today.", "Buffy: That's great.", "Joyce: Oh, and that school is a, a very nurturing environment, which is just what you need.", "Buffy: Well, actually...", "Joyce: Oh, not too nurturing. I know, you're sixteen, I've read all about the dangers of over-nurturing. Buffy goes to her bed and lays out a couple of outfits.", "Joyce: It's hard. New town and everything... It is for me, too. I'm trying to make it work. (takes her daughter's hands in hers) I'm going to make it work.", "Buffy: I know.", "Joyce: Oh, you're a good girl, Buffy, (pats her on the head) you just fell in with the wrong crowd. But that is all behind us now.", "Buffy: It is. From now on I am only going to hang out with the living. (they let go of their hands, and she picks up her dresses) I mean, lively. People. Buffy heads back to her closet with an awkward look on her face.", "Joyce: Hmm. Okay. You have fun. Cut outside later that evening. Buffy is walking down a dark street, when someone appears behind her. She senses that she is being followed. After walking for a ways, when she gets a chance she ducks down an alley and looks around for a place to hide. A cat yowls and kicks some cans as it runs away. She spies something above her. Angel comes into the alley but doesn't see her. As he slowly walks along, the camera pulls up to reveal Buffy in a handstand on a bar high above the pavement. When Angel has passed underneath her, she swings down and kicks him in the back. He is knocked to the ground, and Buffy positions herself above him with a foot on his chest.", "Angel: Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am?", "Buffy: Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?", "Angel: I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite. She backs off and lets him get up, but keeps her fighting stance.", "Angel: Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though. (massages his neck)", "Buffy: What do you want?", "Angel: The same thing you do.", "Buffy: (lets down her guard) Okay. What do I want?", "Angel: (steps toward her) To kill them. To kill them all.", "Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone! She starts a determined walk away.", "Angel: Do you really think that's an option anymore? You're standing at the Mouth of Hell. And it's about to open. She stops, turns to him and looks at him with a wide-eyed gaze. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small box.", "Angel: Don't turn your back on this. (tosses her the box) You've gotta be ready.", "Buffy: What for?", "Angel: For the Harvest.", "Buffy: Who are you?", "Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend. (starts to leave)", "Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.", "Angel: (turns back) I didn't say I was yours. He leaves. Buffy stares after him for a moment, then opens the box. It contains a silver cross and chain. She takes it out, holds it in her hand and takes another glance in his direction.", "Cut to outside the Bronze. People are arriving and meeting. Buffy is wearing the cross around her neck. She walks up to the entrance, gives the doorman some cash and goes in. Sprung Monkey is playing \"Believe\" loudly, and the dance floor is crowded with people.", "Lyrics: Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe / Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe Buffy moves to the music a bit. She sees a guy waving in her direction and waves back, then notices someone behind her waving back and pulls her hand down, embarrassed.", "Lyrics: Everybody wants to find the circle / The line of truth that has no end / Because so many nights I've slept with the feeling of empty / And I say, right now I'm ready to believe She finds the bar and sees Willow sitting there.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Willow: Oh, hi! Buffy walks around her and sits on the stool next to her. Willow turns to face her.", "Willow: Hi!", "Buffy: Oh, you're here with someone?", "Willow: No, I'm just here. I thought Xander was gonna show up.", "Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out?", "Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.", "Buffy: How come?", "Willow: He stole my Barbie. (Buffy looks confused) Oh, we were five.", "Buffy: Oh.", "Willow: I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately.", "Buffy: Why not?", "Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.", "Buffy: It's not *that* bad!", "Willow: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.", "Buffy: You really *haven't* been dating lately.", "Willow: It's probably easy for you.", "Buffy: Yeah, real easy.", "Willow: I-I mean you don't seem too shy.", "Buffy: Well, my philosophy, do you wanna hear my philosophy?", "Willow: Yeah, I do!", "Buffy: Life is short.", "Willow: Life is short!", "Buffy: Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true. You know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy, and if he's gonna laugh at you. Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead.", "Willow: Oh, that's nice! Buffy looks up and sees Giles on the upper level.", "Buffy: Um, I'll be back in a minute. (gets up to go)", "Willow: Oh, tha-that's okay, you don't have to come back.", "Buffy: (smiles) I'll be back in a minute.", "Willow: (to herself) Seize the moment.", "Cut to Buffy, making her way to the stairs. The camera follows her up.", "Lyrics: I feel love with my friends / I feel love in my songs / If I could just hold love / Then all the answers might come / I said, oh, if we're all children of God / And we just turned away / I got a lack of belief / I said a world without faith / It's time we turn back around", "Buffy: (finds Giles) So, you like to party with the students. Isn't that kinda skanky?", "Giles: Oh, right, this is me having fun. Watching... clown hair prance about is hardly my idea of a party. I'd much rather be at home with a cup of Bovril and a good book.", "Buffy: You need a personality, stat!", "Giles: (points to the crowd below) This is a perfect breeding ground for vampire activity. It's dark, it's crowded... Besides, I knew you were likely to show up, and I have to make you understand...", "Buffy: ...that the Harvest is coming. I know, your friend told me.", "Giles: What did you say?", "Buffy: The Harvest. That mean something to you? 'Cause I'm drawing a blank.", "Giles: I'm not sure. Uh... W-who told you this?", "Buffy: This... guy. Dark, gorgeous in an annoying sort of way. I figured you two were buds.", "Giles: No. The Harvest. Did he say anything else?", "Buffy: Something about the Mouth of Hell. I *really* didn't like him! The band has finished its song and there's lots of applause. They soon start their next song, \"Swirl\". Giles moves around Buffy, leans on the railing and looks down at the crowd.", "Giles: Look at them, throwing themselves about, completely unaware of the danger that surrounds them.", "Buffy: Lucky them.", "Giles: Or perhaps you're right. Perhaps there is no trouble coming, the signs could be wrong. It's not as though you've been having the nightmares. Buffy is silent. Cut to below.", "Cordelia: My mom doesn't even *get* out of bed anymore. And the doctor says it's Epstein-Barr. I'm like, pleeease! It's chronic hepatitis, or at least chronic fatigue syndrome. I mean, *nobody* cool has Epstein- Barr anymore. Jesse spots Cordelia and comes over.", "Jesse: Hey, Cordelia!", "Cordelia: Oh, yay, it's my stalker. (makes a face)", "Jesse: Hey, you, uh, you look great!", "Cordelia: Well, I'm glad we had this little chat.", "Jesse: (coughs) Listen, uh, you know, you wanna dance, you know?", "Cordelia: With you?", "Jesse: Well, uh, yeah.", "Cordelia: Well, uh, no! C'mon, guys. She and her friends leave. Jesse is left in the dust.", "Jesse: Fine! Plenty of other fish in the sea. Oh, yeah, I'm... on the prowl. Witness me prowling!", "Cut to Buffy and Giles on the upper level.", "Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it. You know, if I see one, sure I'll...", "Giles: (interrupting) Will you be ready? There's so much you don't know about them, about your own powers. A vampire appears to be completely normal until the feed is upon them, only then do they reveal their true demonic visage.", "Buffy: You're like a textbook with arms, I know this.", "Giles: The point is, a Slayer should be able to see them anyway. Without looking, without thinking. Can you tell me if there's a vampire in this building?", "Buffy: Maybe...", "Giles: You should know. Even through this mass and this... din, you should be able to sense them. Well, try! Reach out with your mind. (Buffy looks around) You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, until you, you feel every particle o-of...", "Buffy: There's one.", "Giles: W-where?", "Buffy: Right there, talking to that girl.", "Giles: You don't know...", "Buffy: Oh, please! Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up, and the shirt! Deal with that outfit for a moment.", "Giles: It's dated?", "Buffy: It's carbon dated. Trust me, only someone living underground for ten years would think that was still the look.", "Giles: But you didn't... hone.", "Buffy: (notices that the girl is Willow) Oh, no.", "Giles: Isn't that...", "Buffy: Willow.", "Giles: What's she doing?", "Buffy: Seizing the moment! She starts down to rescue Willow.", "Lyrics: We're formed in liquid / Pushed out still dripping / A world was thrown before my eyes", "Cut to below. Willow is being led out of the Bronze by the vampire. Cut to Giles. He's at a loss for what to do.", "Lyrics: Now paint a picture / Crayon stick figures / With blue-haired people, purple skies", "Cut to below. Buffy has lost them. She tries the back. She breaks a leg off of a stack of chairs and begins to stalk. After a while Cordelia comes out of the restroom and surprises her. Buffy reacts, taking Cordelia by the throat and pushing her up against a wall.", "Buffy: (recognizing) Cordelia! (she lets go)", "Cordelia: God! What is your childhood trauma?! Her entourage appears in the restroom door behind her.", "Buffy: Have you guys seen Willow? Did she come by here?", "Cordelia: Why? Do you need to attack her with the stick? Jeez! Buffy turns and goes.", "Cordelia: (to her groupies) Excuse me, I have to call *everyone* I have *ever* met, right now.", "Cut to the main floor. Giles catches up with Buffy.", "Giles: That *was* quick. Well done! I-I need to go to the library. This Harvest thing...", "Buffy: I didn't find them! He grabs Buffy by the arm and turns her to face him.", "Giles: The vampire is not dead?", "Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list.", "Giles: (lets go of her) So, what do we do?", "Buffy: I'll take care of it!", "Giles: I-I-I need to come with you, yes?", "Buffy: Don't worry. One vampire I can handle. She leaves, walking past Jesse talking to Darla.", "Jesse: So, um, what did you say your name was?", "Darla: Darla.", "Jesse: Darla. You know, I haven't seen you around before. Are you from around here?", "Darla: No, but I have family here.", "Jesse: Have I met them?", "Darla: You probably will.", "Cut to the Master's lair. The Master rises out of the pool of blood as Luke kneels and looks on. He steps out of the pool over to Luke and offers his hand. Luke takes it.", "Luke: Master! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the Master's lair.", "Master: I am weak.", "Luke: (quotes scripture) 'In the Harvest he will be restored.'", "Master: The Harvest.", "Luke: We're almost there. Soon you'll be free! The Master tests his confines. They are still as strong as ever.", "Master: I must be ready. I need my strength.", "Luke: I've sent your servants to bring you some food.", "Master: Good. Luke?", "Luke: Yes?", "Master: Bring me something... young.", "Cut to the sidewalk next to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking.", "Willow: Sure is dark.", "Thomas: It's night.", "Willow: Well, that's a dark time, night. Traditionally. I still can't believe I've never seen you at school. Do you have Mr. Chomsky for history? Thomas ignores her babbling and heads into the cemetery.", "Willow: Uh, the ice cream bar is this way. It's past Hamilton Street?", "Thomas: I know a shortcut. He grabs her hand and leads her into the cemetery.", "Cut to outside the Bronze. Buffy is trying to find Willow.", "Xander: Hey, you're leaving already?", "Buffy: Oh, Xander! Have you seen Willow?", "Xander: Not tonight, no.", "Buffy: She left with a guy.", "Xander: We're talking about Willow, right? Scorin' at the Bronze, work it girl...", "Buffy: No, I need to find her. Where would he take her?", "Xander: Why? Oh, hey, I hope he's not a vampire, because then you might have to slay him.", "Buffy: (taken aback) Was there a... a school bulletin? Was it i-in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer?", "Xander: No. I only know that you *think* that you're the Slayer, and the reason why I know that...", "Buffy: Well, whatever, it doesn't matter, just tell me, where would Willow go?", "Xander: You're serious!", "Buffy: We don't find her and there's gonna be one more dead body in the morning!", "Cut to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking.", "Willow: Oh, okay, th-this is nice... and scary. Are you sure this is faster? They reach the mausoleum.", "Thomas: Hey! Ever been in one of these?", "Willow: No. Thank you. (turns away)", "Thomas: Come on. (comes up behind her and pulls her hair back) What are you afraid of? He moves in toward her neck. She lets out a yelp as he grabs her and pushes her into the mausoleum. Cut to inside the mausoleum. Willow trips down the stairs and stops up against the stone coffin. She turns around.", "Willow: That wasn't funny! Thomas comes down the steps. She backs away from him, against a wall. She trips over some stones.", "Willow: I think I'm gonna go.", "Thomas: Is that what you think? He comes toward her again. She skirts by him, but only because he lets her. Darla blocks her way out of the mausoleum.", "Darla: Is this the best you could do?", "Thomas: She's fresh!", "Darla: Hardly enough to share.", "Thomas: Why didn't you bring your own?", "Darla: (gives him a look) I did. Jesse stumbles into the mausoleum, holding his neck.", "Jesse: Hey! Wait up!", "Willow: Oh, my God, Jesse! He is weak from blood loss and collapses. Willow tries to catch him and breaks his fall.", "Jesse: Y'know, you gave me a hickey. Thomas gives Darla a look.", "Darla: (shrugs) I got hungry on the way.", "Willow: Jesse, let's get outta here!", "Darla: Oh, you're not going anywhere.", "Willow: Leave us alone!", "Darla: You're not going anywhere until we've (vamps out) *fed*! Willow screams and falls back down next to Jesse. Buffy and Xander show up.", "Buffy: Well, this is nice. I-it's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows... call it home! Buffy moves behind the coffin to draw the vampires away from the others.", "Darla: Who the hell are you?", "Buffy: You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Whew, that's a relief, I'm telling you! Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work.", "Xander: Buffy, we bail now, right?", "Thomas: Not yet!", "Buffy: Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge! The vampires close in on her. She turns to Darla.", "Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way.", "Darla: That's fine with me!", "Buffy: Are you sure? Now, this in not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content... Thomas roars behind Buffy. She pulls the chair leg out from inside her shirt. He attacks from behind, but Buffy neatly jams the makeshift stake into his chest. He falls back and turns to ashes. Darla can't believe her eyes. Neither can anyone else.", "Buffy: See what happens when you roughhouse?", "Darla: He was young and stupid!", "Buffy: Xander, go!", "Darla: Don't go far! Buffy and Darla start to fight. Darla punches high, but Buffy blocks. Xander helps Willow pick up Jesse. Darla throws a backhand punch, but Buffy blocks again and follows up with a front snap kick to Darla's stomach. As she leans forward from the pain, Buffy slams her elbow into Darla's back. Cut to outside. Xander and Willow help Jesse out and they start to run. Cut to the mausoleum. Darla hits the wall and falls to the floor, winded.", "Buffy: You know, I just wanted to start over. Be like everybody else. Have some friends, y'know, maybe a dog... But, no, you had to come here, you couldn't go suck on some other town.", "Darla: Who are you?", "Buffy: Don't you know? Luke grabs her by the neck from behind.", "Luke: I don't care! He throws her across the room. He grabs Darla and lifts her to her feet.", "Luke: You were supposed to be bringing an offering for the Master! We're almost at Harvest, and you dally with this child!", "Darla: We had someone, but then she came. She killed Thomas. Luke, she's strong.", "Luke: You go. I'll see if I can handle the little girl. He approaches Buffy as she starts to get up, still a little dazed. Darla quickly climbs the steps, looks back once and runs out of the door. Luke attacks Buffy with a double punch, but she blocks it and delivers a punch to his gut and a hopping front snap kick to his jaw. He steps back, but isn't fazed.", "Luke: You're strong. He lands a solid backhand fist on her. She goes flying.", "Luke: I'm stronger!", "Cut to outside in the cemetery. Xander and Willow are supporting Jesse as they run.", "Willow: We'll get the police, it's just a few blocks up! They are stopped by a group of vampires. Cut to the mausoleum.", "Luke: You're wasting my time. She backs away up the stairs toward the exit.", "Buffy: Hey, I had other plans, too, okay? Luke shoves the heavy lid off of the coffin. Buffy does a cartwheel onto and over it to avoid it and kicks Luke in the chest with both feet, knocking him down. She grabs the stake from the floor and lunges at Luke, but he is too quick for her, and grabs her by the wrist.", "Luke: You think you can stop me? Stop us? He grabs the stake with his other hand and breaks it. Then he grabs her by the shirt.", "Luke: You have no idea what you're dealing with. He throws Buffy onto the rim of the now open coffin. She rolls off onto the floor, dazed. Luke gets up and starts toward her, quoting scripture.", "Luke: 'And like a plague of boils, the race of man covered the Earth.'", "Cut to the library. Giles is paging through an old volume and stops on a picture of Satan with lightning coming from his hand to a man's.", "Luke: 'But on the third day of the newest light would come the Harvest. And the blood of men will flow as wine.'", "Cut to the Master sitting in an intricately carved chair.", "Luke: 'When the Master will walk among them once more!'", "Cut to Xander, Willow and Jesse surrounded by vampires, including Darla.", "Luke: 'The Earth will belong to the old ones.'", "Cut to Buffy. Luke is in her face.", "Luke: 'And Hell itself will come to town.' He grabs Buffy and growls. He lifts her by the throat and throws her toward the coffin. Buffy does a front layout and lands in the coffin next to a skeleton, and lets out a quick scream, but then remains silent, only breathing. She can't see or hear Luke. She slowly starts to get up. Suddenly Luke jumps up and into the coffin.", "Luke: (smiling widely) Amen! He moves in to bite Buffy. To Be Continued..." ]

[ "After escaping from Luke, Buffy goes in search of Jesse, with a little help from Giles and Willow, from her mystery friend, Angel, and from Xander , who braves the dank, dark sewers with her. The Master plots the Harvest, a ritual designed to imbue him with enough strength to open the Hellmouth, but Buffy defeats his minions in a showdown at The Bronze." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Inside the mausoleum. Luke tries to bite Buffy, but burns himself on the cross hanging around her neck and jerks back. Buffy seizes the opportunity and push kicks him out of the coffin. She climbs out of it and races outside. Cut outside. Buffy runs to catch up with Willow, Xander and Jesse. She hears a vampire roar and a girl screaming and runs toward the sounds. Cut to Willow on the ground, about to be bitten.", "Willow: No! Get off!", "Buffy: Hey! The vampire looks up, and Buffy snap kicks him off of Willow. He gets up and runs away. Willow is shocked by what she sees. Buffy quickly starts the hunt again. Willow gets up and runs after her. Cut to Xander being dragged away by two vampires. Willow appears between two gravestones.", "Willow: Xander! The vampires are distracted. Buffy takes advantage of the opening and jumps in, high punches one and side kicks the other. She notices a dry branch on a tree and breaks it off. As one of the vampires gets up she plunges the stick into him. Willow rushes over to Xander who's still on the ground.", "Willow: Xander, are you okay?", "Xander: Man, something hit me.", "Buffy: Where's Jesse?", "Willow: I don't know! They surrounded us.", "Xander: That girl grabbed him and took off.", "Buffy: Which way?", "Xander: I don't know. She stands up straight and slowly scans the cemetery.", "Buffy: (whispers) Jesse! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. The globe is spinning. Giles stops it while he lectures and makes his way down to where Buffy, Willow and Xander are at the table.", "Giles: This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures...", "Buffy: And vampires.", "Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it.", "Willow: Isn't that what we saw last night?", "Buffy: No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light. (Xander gives her a look) That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.", "Willow: Oh, I, I need to sit down.", "Buffy: You are sitting down.", "Willow: Oh. Good for me.", "Xander: So vampires are demons?", "Giles: The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return.", "Cut to the sewers. Darla and Luke are forcing Jesse into the Master's lair.", "Luke: Move! They reach the lair and Luke forces Jesse down the slope to the floor below. The Master approaches.", "Master: Is this for me?", "Luke: An offering, Master.", "Darla: He's a good one! His blood is pure!", "Master: (draws the obvious conclusion) You've tasted it. Darla looks down in shame.", "Master: I'm your... faithful dog. You bring me scraps.", "Darla: I, I didn't mean it...", "Master: I have waited. For three score years I have waited. While you come and go I am stuck here, here in this house of... (with extreme contempt) worship! My ascension is almost at hand. Pray that when it comes... (takes Darla by the neck) I'm in a better mood.", "Darla: Master, forgive me! We had more offerings, but there was trouble. A girl!", "Luke: And there was a girl. She fought well and she knew of our breed. It is possible that she may be...", "Master: ...a Slayer!", "Cut to the library.", "Xander: And that would be a what?", "Giles: For as long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One.", "Buffy: He loves doing this part.", "Giles: Alright. The Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need.", "Xander: Except for one thing: how do you kill them?", "Buffy: *You* don't, *I* do.", "Xander: Well, Jesse's my...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Jesse is my responsibility. I let him get taken.", "Xander: That's not true.", "Willow: If you hadn't shown up they would have taken us, too. Does anybody mind if I pass out?", "Buffy: Breathe.", "Willow: Breathe.", "Buffy: Breathe. (to Giles) This big guy, Luke. He talked about an offering to the Master. Now, I don't know what or who, but if they weren't just feeding then Jesse may still be alive. I'm gonna find him.", "Willow: Uh, this may be the dumb question, but shouldn't we call the police?", "Giles: And they'd believe us, of course.", "Willow: Well, we don't have to say vampires. We, we could just say that there's a, a bad man.", "Buffy: They couldn't handle it even of they did show up. They'd only come with guns.", "Giles: You have no idea where they took Jesse?", "Buffy: I looked around, but soon's they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just, voom!", "Xander: They can fly?", "Buffy: They can drive.", "Xander: Oh.", "Willow: I don't remember hearing a car.", "Giles: Let's take an enormous intuitive leap, shall we, and say they went underground.", "Buffy: Vampires really jam on sewer systems. You can get anywhere in the entire town without catching any rays. But I didn't see any access around there.", "Xander: Well, there's an electrical tunnel that runs under the whole town.", "Giles: If we had a diagnostic of the tunnel system it might indicate a, a meeting place, it would, uh... I suppose we could go to the building commission.", "Buffy: We *so* don't have time.", "Willow: Uh, guys? There may be another way.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Master: A Slayer! Have you any proof?", "Luke: Only that she fought me, and yet lives.", "Master: Hmm, very nearly proof enough. I can't remember the last time that happened.", "Luke: 1843. Madrid. He caught me sleeping.", "Master: She mustn't be allowed to interfere with the Harvest!", "Luke: I would never let that happen!", "Master: Don't worry about it. I believe she'll come to us. We have something she wants. Luke smiles at Jesse.", "Master: If she is a Slayer, and this boy lives, she'll try to save him.", "Luke: I thought you nothing more than a meal, boy. He moves behind Jesse and takes his neck.", "Luke: Congratulations. You've just been upgraded. To bait.", "Cut to the library. Willow has the city plans on the computer monitor.", "Buffy: There it is.", "Willow: That runs under the graveyard.", "Xander: I don't see any access.", "Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public?", "Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.", "Xander: Someone's been naughty.", "Buffy: There's nothing here, this is useless!", "Giles: I think you're being a bit hard on yourself.", "Buffy: You're the one that told me that I wasn't prepared enough. Understatement! (exhales) I thought I was on top of everything, and then that monster, Luke, came out of nowhere... She flashes back to the fight in the mausoleum.", "Xander: What?", "Buffy: He didn't come out of nowhere. He came from behind me. I was facing the entrance, he came from behind me, and he didn't follow me out. The access to the tunnels is in the mausoleum! The girl must have doubled back with Jesse after I got out! God! I am so mentally challenged!", "Xander: So, what's the plan? We saddle up, right?", "Buffy: There's no 'we', okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not.", "Xander: I knew you'd throw that back in my face.", "Buffy: Xander, this is deeply dangerous.", "Xander: I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man.", "Willow: Buffy, I'm not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters. But I do want to help. I need to.", "Giles: Well, then help me. I've been researching this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre. Rivers of blood, Hell on Earth, quite charmless. I'm a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. It may be that you can wrest some information from that dread machine. Everyone stares at him. He looks back at them all.", "Giles: That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it?", "Buffy: (smiles) Welcome to the New World.", "Giles: (to Willow) I want you to go on the 'Net.", "Willow: Oh, sure, I can do that. (begins to type)", "Buffy: Then I'm outta here. If Jesse's alive, I'll bring him back.", "(starts to leave)", "Giles: Do I have to tell you to be careful?", "Buffy turns back, gives Giles a look and goes. Cut outside. Buffy is making strides for a side gate. Mr. Flutie is there and stops her.", "Mr. Flutie: And where do we think we're going?", "Buffy: We? (turns to face him) I... Me...", "Mr. Flutie: We're not leaving school grounds, are we?", "Buffy: No! No, I'm... just admiring the fence. You know, this is quality fence work.", "Mr. Flutie: Because if we were leaving schools grounds on our second day at a new school, after getting kicked out of our old school for delinquent behavior... Do you see where I'm going with this?", "Buffy: Mr. Giles...", "Mr. Flutie: What?", "Buffy: He asked me to get a book for him. Uh, from the store, 'cause I have a free period, and I'm a big reader. Did it mention that in my transcripts?", "Mr. Flutie: Mr. Giles?", "Buffy: Ask him.", "Mr. Flutie: (swings the gate closed) Well, maybe that's how they do things in *Britain*, they've got that royal family and all kinds of problems, (locks it) but here at Sunnydale nobody leaves campus while school's in session. Are we clear?", "Buffy: We're clear.", "Mr. Flutie: That's the Buffy Summers I want in my school. Sensible girl with her feet on the ground! He turns and leaves. Buffy watches him go. When he's gone a ways she crouches and leaps the fence.", "Cut to Willow and Xander walking down a hall.", "Willow: Murder, death, disaster. What else?", "Xander: Paranormal, unexplained, did you get natural disasters?", "Willow: Earthquake, flood.", "Xander: Rain of Toads.", "Willow: Right.", "Xander: Rain of Toads! Do you think they'd have anything like that in the paper?", "Willow: I'll put it on the computer search. If it's in there, it'll turn up. Anything that'll lead us to vampires.", "Xander: And I, in the meantime, will help by standing around like an idiot.", "Willow: Not like an idiot, just... standing. Buffy doesn't want you getting hurt. They stop in front of their next class.", "Willow: I don't want you getting hurt.", "Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh- oh, pop quiz'. Today it's 'Rain of Toads'.", "Willow: I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day.", "Xander: Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret.", "Willow: We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something other guys don't.", "Xander: Right. Look, maybe you should get to class. (indicates the door)", "Willow: You mean 'we'. We should get to class.", "Xander: Yeah.", "Willow: Buffy'll be okay. Whatever's down there, I think she can handle it.", "Xander: Yeah, I do, too.", "Willow: So do I!", "Cut to inside the mausoleum. Buffy comes in slowly, looking and listening. She scans around. Satisfied that no one's there, she walks down the steps to the floor. She hears a rat behind her and twists to look toward the sound. She continues and finds the tunnel access. It's locked with a chain. She lifts the lock. Angel appears behind her.", "Angel: (exhales)", "Buffy: I don't suppose you've got a key on you?", "Angel: They really don't like me dropping in.", "Buffy: (faces him) Why not?", "Angel: They really don't like me.", "Buffy: How could that possibly be?", "Angel: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a *little* sooner.", "Buffy: Sorry you had to wait. (exhales) Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this cryptic wise man act on a regular basis can you at least tell me your name?", "Angel: Angel.", "Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name. She turns to the tunnel entrance.", "Angel: Don't... go down there.", "Buffy: (turns back) Deal with my going.", "Angel: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it the Master walks.", "Buffy: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest why don't you stop it?", "Angel: 'Cause I'm afraid. She looks at him for a moment and then spins around quickly, kicking open the doors to the tunnel. She turns back to him.", "Angel: They'll be expecting you.", "Buffy: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? He lowers his eyes as a look of sadness fills them.", "Buffy: That wasn't supposed to be a stumper. They look at each other a moment longer.", "Angel: When you hit the tunnels head east towards the school. That's where you're likely to find them.", "Buffy: You gonna wish me luck? Angel says nothing. They look at each other for another moment, then Buffy turns and heads into the tunnels. He watches her go.", "Angel: (whispers) Good luck! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside the tunnels. Buffy comes down a flight of stairs. She looks around. She hears rats. One crawls across her shoes. She slowly starts down the tunnels. There are lights at intervals. When she reaches an intersection Xander surprises her from behind.", "Xander: Did you see anything?", "Buffy: (exhales in fright) Xander, what are you doing here?!", "Xander: Something stupid. I followed you.", "Buffy: Well, you...", "Xander: I couldn't just sit at home and do nothing.", "Buffy: I understand. Now, go away!", "Xander: No!", "Buffy: Xander, you're gonna have to.", "Xander: Look, Jesse's my bud, okay? If I can help him out, that's what I gotta do. Buffy considers, then nods her head for him to follow. She starts down the tunnel again.", "Xander: Besides, it's this or chem class.", "Cut to them reaching the top of some stairs.", "Xander: Okay, so, crosses, garlic, stake through the heart.", "Buffy: That'll get it done.", "Xander: Cool! Of course, I don't actually have any of those things.", "Buffy: (hands him a cross) Good thinking.", "Xander: Well, the part of my brain that would tell me to bring that stuff is still busy telling me not to come down here. I have this, though. (turns on a flashlight)", "Buffy: Turn that off!", "Xander: (turns it off) Okay! Okay! So, what else?", "Buffy: What else what?", "Xander: For vampire slayage.", "Buffy: Oh, fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual.", "Xander: You've done some beheading in your time?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife... Xander laughs nervously.", "Buffy: You're not loving this story.", "Xander: No, actually, I find it oddly comforting.", "Cut to the library. Giles is reading from a volume.", "Giles: 'For they will gather and be gathered. From the Vessel pours life.' P... Pours life... He turns the page back to the picture of Satan feeding power to a man.", "Giles: 'On the night of the crescent moon, the first past the solstice it will come...' Of course. That's tonight!", "Cut to the computer lab. Cordelia is struggling with her assignment.", "Cordelia: No! It's supposed to find the syntax and match it. Or wait...", "Harmony: Are we going to the Bronze tonight?", "Cordelia: No, we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale. Harmony looks confused.", "Cordelia: Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night? No cover? But you should have been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy... Willow overhears the conversation.", "Cordelia: ...and can she be any weirder? She attacked me! Do you believe it?", "Harmony: (exhales) I think we did this part wrong.", "Cordelia: Why do we have to devise these programs, isn't that what nerds are for? (whispers, indicating Willow) What'd she do?", "Harmony: (looks at Willow's screen, then back) Uh, she's doing something else.", "Cordelia: Okay, and then pattern run, right? Or go to end? That's it!", "Harmony: Maybe!", "Cordelia: So anyway, I come outta the bathroom, and she comes running at me. Screaming! With a stick! 'I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!' I swear!", "Boy: Who?", "Cordelia: Buffy!", "Harmony: The new girl?", "Boy: What's her deal?", "Cordelia: Well, she's crazed.", "Harmony: Did you hear about her old school? Cordelia and the boy both shake their heads.", "Harmony: Booted.", "Cordelia: Well, I exhibit no surprise.", "Boy: Why was she kicked out?", "Cordelia: Uh, because she's a psycho loony!", "Willow: (interrupting) No, she's not.", "Cordelia: What?", "Willow: (turns to them) She's not a psycho. You don't even know her.", "Cordelia: Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Willow turns away, eyes down.", "Cordelia: Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring. Willow gets up and goes to get her printouts.", "Harmony: Okay, I think the program's done.", "Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it?", "Willow: Deliver.", "Cordelia: Deliver? Where's that? (searches the keyboard) Oh! She hits the 'Del' key and her program disappears.", "Cut to the tunnels.", "Buffy: They're close.", "Xander: How can you tell?", "Buffy: No more rats. Xander turns on his flashlight and spots Jesse on the ground.", "Xander: Jesse!", "Buffy: Oh, no! Jesse reacts and jumps up.", "Xander: J-J-Jesse!", "Jesse: Xander! The two boys embrace.", "Xander: Jesse, man, are you okay?", "Jesse: I am not okay, on an *epic* scale. Buffy shines the light on the shackles around Jesse's ankle.", "Jesse: We gotta get outta here!", "Xander: It's cool, Buffy's a superhero.", "Buffy: Hold on... (breaks the shackles)", "Xander: Do you think anyone heard that? They see shadows moving on the walls and start to run down the tunnel. Vampires come around the corner. Cut to Xander, Buffy and Jesse in another part of the tunnel.", "Jesse: They knew you were gonna come. They said that I... I was the bait.", "Xander: Oh, great, now you tell us. They round a corner and are met by vampires.", "Buffy: Oops!", "Jesse: Oh, no, no, no, no!", "Buffy: Do you know another way out?", "Jesse: I dunno. Maybe. C'mon! They run. At another intersection they see eyes to their right.", "Jesse: Wait, wait. They brought me through here, there, there should be a way up. I hope! Jesse leads them to a chamber.", "Buffy: I don't think this is the way out!", "Xander: We can't fight our way back through those things. What do we do?", "Jesse: I got an idea. (vamped out) You can die!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the chamber.", "Xander: Jesse, man. I'm sorry.", "Jesse: Sorry? I feel good, Xander! I feel strong! I'm connected, man, to everything! Buffy begins struggling with the door, trying to close it.", "Jesse: I, I can hear the worms in the earth!", "Xander: That's a plus.", "Jesse: I know what the Master wants. I'll serve his purpose. That means you die. And I feed.", "Buffy: (looks back at them) Xander, the cross! He holds the cross up to Jesse's face. Jesse steps back and growls.", "Xander: Jesse, man. We're buds, don't you remember?", "Jesse: You're like a shadow to me now.", "Xander: Then get outta my face. Jesse knocks Xander's arm to the side, making him hit the wall. He jumps to the other side of the room, facing Xander. Buffy grabs him from behind and throws him out of the chamber into the advancing vampires, knocking them all down, and goes back to trying to close the door.", "Buffy: (to Xander) Help me! Xander jumps up to help and together they get it to move. They close it on a vampire's arm. The vampire pulls its arm back out of the door and Buffy slams it shut and closes the latch. The vampires begin pounding on the door.", "Buffy: We need to get out of here!", "Xander: There is no out of here! Xander uses his flashlight to look around. He spots a grate in the ceiling.", "Xander: Up there! Buffy leaps on top of a barrel and begins to pry the grate open. The vampires have started to bend in a corner of the door. They twist it and push it in further. Buffy gets the grate open.", "Buffy: Go! She helps Xander crawl up into a ventilation duct. A vampire starts to struggle through the bent corner of the door. He reaches in and pulls the latch open as Xander gets through the grate. Buffy follows him quickly as the first vampire enters the chamber. He follows them through the grate into the duct. Xander and Buffy crawl like mad. He finds a ladder up to a manhole and starts climbing the rungs. Buffy follows. The vampire is right behind them. Xander pushes open the manhole cover and climbs out into daylight. He turns to help Buffy out. The vampire grabs her ankle and tries to pull her back down.", "Buffy: Xander, pull! He pulls on her, and the vampire's hand is exposed to the sunlight and burns. The vampire lets go, and they tumble backward to the ground.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Master: She escaped? She walks free when I should be drinking her heart's blood right now? Careless...", "Colin: Master, we had her trapped!", "Master: Oh, are you going to make excuses? Colin remains silent.", "Master: You are all weak. It has been too long since you have faced the Slayer. Huh. It is no matter to me. She will not stop the Harvest. Just means there'll be someone worth killing... when I reach the surface. Is Luke ready?", "Colin: He waits.", "Master: It's time. Bring him to me. Colin turns to go get Luke.", "Master: Ah, Colin... You failed me. Tell me you're sorry.", "Colin: I'm sorry!", "Master: There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Hold on... He stabs his finger into Colin's face.", "Master: You've got something in your eye.", "Cut to the library where Giles is still doing his research. He hears someone come in.", "Giles: Buffy?", "Willow: It's just me. So there's no word?", "Giles: Ah, not as yet, no.", "Willow: Well, I-I'm sure they're... great.", "Giles: Did you find anything of interest?", "Willow: I think, maybe... I surfed through the old newspapers around the time of that big earthquake back in '37? And for several months before there were a rash of murders. (hands him her printouts)", "Giles: Great! I-I mean, well, not, not 'great' in a good way, uh, um, uh, go on?", "Willow: Well, they sound like the kind you were looking for. (flips through the printouts) Throats, blood... (looks squeamish)", "Giles: It's all coming together. I rather wish it weren't.", "Cut to the Master's lair. Luke approaches the Master and kneels before him. The Master offers his hand. Luke takes it and kisses it. He releases it and the Master turns it over to offer the underside of his wrist. Darla is watching and smiles. Luke opens the cuff of the Master's sleeve and pulls it back. He takes his hand again, sinks his fangs into the wrist above it and drinks of the blood. He releases the hand, and the Master takes it back.", "Master: My blood is your blood. My soul is your soul.", "Luke: My body is your instrument. The Master steps down to Luke and begins to draw a three-pointed star on Luke's forehead with the blood still flowing from his wrist.", "Master: On this... most hallowed night... we are as one. Luke is the Vessel! Darla smiles even wider.", "Master: Every soul he takes will feed me. And their souls will grant me the strength to free myself. Tonight I shall walk the Earth, and the stars themselves will hide!", "Cut to the library. Willow is looking at one of Giles' volumes. She hears the door open and looks up to see Xander and Buffy come in.", "Willow: Did you find Jesse?", "Xander: Yeah.", "Willow: Was he dead?", "Buffy: Worse. (sits down at the end of the table) I'm sorry, Willow. We were too late. And they were waiting for us.", "Willow: At least you two are okay. Xander kicks a trash can violently. Buffy is startled.", "Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good.", "Buffy: (turns to Giles) So, Giles! Got anything that can make this day any worse? He goes over to the whiteboard and puts down his pen.", "Giles: How about the end of the world?", "Buffy: Knew I could count on you.", "Giles: This is what we know. Some sixty years ago, a very old, very powerful vampire came to this shore, not just to feed.", "Buffy: He came 'cause this town's a mystical who's it.", "Giles: Yes. The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del Infierno'. Roughly translated, 'Hellmouth'. It's a sort of, um, portal between this reality and the next. This vampire hopes to open it.", "Buffy: Bring the demons back.", "Xander: End of the world.", "Willow: But he blew it! Or, I mean, there was an earthquake that swallowed half the town, and him, too.", "Giles: You see, opening dimensional portals is a tricky business. Odds are he got himself stuck, rather like a, uh, cork in a bottle.", "Xander: And this Harvest thing is to get him out.", "Giles: It comes once in a century, on this night. The Master can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds. Enough power to break free and open the portal. The minion is called the Vessel, and he bears this symbol. He draws a three-pointed star on the whiteboard.", "Buffy: So, I dust anyone sporting that symbol, and no Harvest.", "Giles: Simply put, yes.", "Buffy: Any idea where this little get-together is being held?", "Giles: There, there are a number of possibilities.", "Xander: They're goin' to the Bronze.", "Willow: Are you sure?", "Xander: Come on. All those tasty young morsels all over the place? Anyway, that's where Jesse's gonna be, trust me. Giles grabs his coat and starts out of the library. The others begin to follow.", "Giles: Then we should get there. The sun will be down before long.", "Buffy: I gotta make a stop. Won't take long.", "Giles: What for?", "Buffy: Supplies.", "Cut to a view of the sun setting above a ridge. Cut to Buffy in her room. She goes to her closet and pulls out a heavy, black jacket. Her mother walks into the room.", "Joyce: Buffy?", "Buffy: Mom!", "Joyce: You're going out?", "Buffy: I have to. (puts on her jacket)", "Joyce: I didn't hear you come in last night.", "Buffy: I was really quiet.", "Joyce: It's happening again, isn't it? I got a call from your new principal. Says you missed some classes today?", "Buffy: I was running an errand.", "Joyce: We haven't finished unpacking, and I'm getting calls from the principal.", "Buffy: Mom, I promise, it is *not* gonna be like before. But I *have* to go.", "Joyce: No.", "Buffy: Mom?!", "Joyce: The tapes all say I should get used to saying it. No.", "Buffy: This is really, really important.", "Joyce: I know. If you don't go out it'll be the end of the world. Everything is life or death when you're a sixteen-year-old girl.", "Buffy: Look, I don't have time to talk about this...", "Joyce: Buffy, you've got all the time in the world, you're not going anywhere. Now, if you wanna stay up here and sulk, I won't hold it against you. But if you wanna come down, I'll make us some dinner. She leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind her. Buffy can't believe what just happened. She leans against the closet door, takes a deep breath and exhales. Then she turns and opens the closet again and pulls out a chest. It has a large box in it full of her stuff. She pulls out the box to reveal what's underneath. Stakes, crosses, garlic, bottles of holy water. She pulls a bunch out and puts it in her sports bag. She takes a particularly sharp stake and conceals it in her jacket sleeve. She closes the chest, zips the bag closed and goes over to her door to make sure her mother isn't nearby. Then she grabs the bag, slides it out of the window onto the roof and climbs out after it.", "Cut to the sun going down over a hill. Cut to the Bronze. The doorman is checking ID's. Cut inside to the upper level. Cordelia and her friends find a table.", "Cordelia: Senior boys are the only way to go. Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? (they sit) Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog. (they all giggle) You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, hmm, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! I just am not the type to settle. Y'know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more.", "Girl: You know, I...", "Cordelia: Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished? Oh, I love this song! Come on! Cordelia and her gang make their way to the dance floor and start to move to the sound of \"Wearing Me Down\" by the Dashboard Prophets.", "Lyrics: You fight the good fight / You fight the good war / You fight to be right / You fight to restore / Why should I believe a word that you say / It was just a game that you don't wanna play / And I say / It's wearing me down, I realize / It's all in my head now, now, and I realize / It's not what you've done / As much as what you've said / as what you've said / as what you've said / as what you've said Jesse watches Cordelia from the side. He walks onto the dance floor. The song is over, and Cordelia stops dancing. She starts to leave, but Jesse is standing in front of her, fingers on his lips.", "Cordelia: Uh, what do you want? Another song, \"Ballad For Dead Friends\", starts. Jesse lowers his hand, takes hers and leads her back onto the dance floor.", "Cordelia: Hey! Hello! Caveman brain! What are you doing?", "Jesse: Shut up! He begins to dance with her.", "Cordelia: Well, just one dance. They dance close. Cut to outside where the doorman is counting money. Darla comes out of the shadows in a bouncy walk. She turns around and walks backward while other vampires come into the light behind her. She turns back again and approaches the doorman. They're all sporting their game faces.", "Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside the Bronze. The vampires head in.", "Doorman: Need ID. (looks up) Hey! Nobody gets inside until I get some sorta...", "Luke: (growls in the doorman's face) Get inside. Cut inside. The vampires come in, pushing the doorman in with them. The last one shuts the door and stands guard.", "Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! One of the vampires makes his way to the upper level. Another one finds the main power switch and shuts it off. The people start complaining and wondering what happened. Luke gets up on the stage.", "Luke: Ladies and Gentlemen! There is no cause for alarm. Actually, there is cause for alarm. It just won't do any good. There are screams from the crowd as they see Luke's face. He laughs.", "Cordelia: I thought there wasn't any band tonight. She looks at Jesse next to her. He's got his game face on, and she inhales in fright.", "Luke: This is a glorious night! It is also the last one any of you shall ever see. Bring me the first. A vampire brings the doorman to Luke.", "Doorman: What do you guys want, man, huh? You want money? Man, what's wrong with your faces? Luke grabs him by the throat. He wraps his other arm around the doorman's head.", "Luke: Watch me, people. Fear is like an elixir. It's almost like blood. He bites the doorman and feeds on him. The doorman screams. Cut to the Master in his lair. He raises his head as he feels the first of the souls that will be taken for him. Cut to Luke. He drops the doorman's body.", "Luke: Next! Cut outside. The team arrives running. Buffy tries the door.", "Buffy: It's locked!", "Giles: We're too late!", "Buffy: I didn't know I was gonna get grounded!", "Xander: Can you break it down?", "Buffy: No, not that thing. Um... You guys try the back entrance, and I'll find my own way.", "Giles: Right. Come on.", "Buffy: Uh, wait! Guys! Here! (hands Willow her bag) You get the exit cleared and the people out. That's all! Don't go Wild Bunch on me.", "Giles: Uh, see you inside, then. Giles, Xander and Willow run around to the back. Cut to the back. Willow tries the door. It's locked, too.", "Willow: No joy!", "Xander: We've gotta get in there before Jesse does something stupider that usual.", "Giles: You listen to me! Jesse is dead! You have to remember that when you see him, you're not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him.", "Cut to the Master, testing his confines. Cut to Luke, feeding on a girl.", "Cut to the Master.", "Master: Almost free!", "Cut to Luke, still feeding on the girl. Cut to the Master.", "Master: Give me moooooore!", "Cut to Luke. He's finished with the girl and drops her body. Cut to Darla and Jesse. She wants to take Cordelia to Luke.", "Jesse: This one's mine!", "Darla: They're all for the Master. She pulls on Cordelia. Jesse lets go of her.", "Jesse: I don't get one?", "Cut to Buffy breaking an upper window and crawling in.", "Luke: I feel the Master's strength growing! Buffy sees Luke on the stage.", "Luke: I feel him rising. Every soul brings him closer! I need another!", "Buffy: (to herself) The Vessel. The vampire on the upper level sees Buffy and growls. She looks over at him.", "Luke: Tonight is his ascension. Tonight will be history at its end! Yours is a glorious sacrifice! Degradation most holy. What? No volunteers?!", "Darla: (brings him Cordelia) Here's a pretty one. Cordelia screams when she sees Luke up close. He caresses her face. He's about to bite her when Buffy kicks the vampire down from above them. Luke watches him land with a thud. Buffy approaches the railing.", "Buffy: Oh, I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something?", "Luke: You!", "Buffy: You didn't think I'd miss this. Did you?", "Luke: I hoped you'd come.", "Buffy: Be right down! Buffy steps away from the railing and executes a roundoff to get down. She lands on a pool table. A vampire attacks from her right. Buffy does a front walkover off of the table, grabbing a pool cue on the way. When she lands she thrusts it into her attacker.", "Buffy: Okay, Vessel boy. (removes her jacket) You want blood?", "Luke: I want yours! (releases Cordelia) Only yours!", "Buffy: (shrugs) Works for me. She runs and cartwheels up onto the stage, and immediately launches into a full spinning hook kick. Luke staggers into a pile of chairs. Buffy assumes a fighting position. Luke gets up and growls. He comes at her and swings, but she ducks the punch and comes up behind him. He tries a backhand punch, but she blocks him, holds onto his arm and gives him three roundhouse kicks to his stomach before he shakes loose. She takes her stake and lunges at him. He blocks the lunge, knocking the stake from her grip. He lifts her up and throws her into a pile of boxes. Cut to the back. Giles, Willow and Xander break in.", "Giles: Hurry! Xander runs in to see what's going on. He sees Buffy is down. She gets up, so Xander turns his attention to the crowd.", "Xander: (in a low voice) C'mon! Let's go! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!", "Cut to the back. Giles guides the people to the back door.", "Giles: (whispers) Hurry up! Come on! Through this door! Come on! This way!", "Cut to the main room. Buffy spins around and lands a backhand punch on Luke's face, knocking him into another pile of stuff. He's dazed. Buffy turns to see a vampire grab Xander. She grabs a cymbal from a drum set and throws it at the vampire like a Frisbee. Xander sees it coming and ducks. The cymbal decapitates the vampire.", "Xander: Head's up! Buffy can't resist a chuckle. Luke grabs her from behind. Cut to Cordelia on the floor with Jesse above her. She struggles and he grabs her arms.", "Jesse: Hold still! You're not making this easy! Xander comes up behind him, stake in hand.", "Xander: Jesse, man! Don't make me do it. Jesse turns to look up at Xander.", "Jesse: Buddy!", "Cut to Buffy being held tightly from behind by Luke.", "Luke: I always wanted to kill a Slayer!", "Cut to the back where Giles and Willow are still guiding people out.", "Giles: One at a time! Quickly! Quickly! He crosses to the other side of the room in front of some stairs. Darla is standing on the steps above him.", "Giles: We're going to have to open the front as well! Darla leaps onto him from behind, knocking him to the floor. Cut to Xander and Jesse.", "Xander: Jesse! I know there's still a part of you in there.", "Jesse: (jumps up) Okay... Let's deal with this. Jesse was an excruciating loser who couldn't get a date with anyone in the sighted community! Look at me. I'm a new man!", "Cut to Buffy and Luke.", "Luke: Master! Taste of this... and be free! Luke roars and moves in to bite Buffy. She senses his proximity and snaps her head back to land a headbutt on his face, knocking him off of her and back to the wall. She turns to him, winded.", "Buffy: How'd it taste?", "Cut to Giles and Darla struggling on the floor. Willow approaches them while taking out a jar of holy water.", "Willow: Get off of him! Darla is distracted and looks up. Willow throws the holy water at her. It burns her face and steams. She gets up and runs from the club, screaming. Cut to Jesse and Xander. Jesse grabs Xander by the jacket and lifts him around against a wall. Xander has the stake pointed at Jesse's chest.", "Jesse: Ooo! Alright. Put me out of my misery. You don't have the guts. A fleeing patron bumps into Jesse, impaling him on the stake. Xander lets go of the stake and Jesse begins to fall. He turns to ashes before he even hits the floor. Two vampires grab Xander. Cut to Buffy. She grabs a microphone stand and holds it like a javelin.", "Luke: You forget, metal can't hurt me.", "Buffy: There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise! She throws the stand at the window behind Luke. He ducks, and it breaks the window behind him. A bright light pours in through it. Buffy spies the stake she dropped on the stage and picks it up. Luke gets up and shields his face with his hands, expecting to be burned. He stops when he realizes it's only a bright lamp. Buffy lunges at him from behind and jams the stake home.", "Buffy: It's in about nine hours, moron! Luke begins to stagger off of the stage. Cut to the Master. He's testing the strength of his confines. Cut to Luke. He continues to stagger. Cut to the Master. Still testing. Cut to Luke. He falls from the stage and turns to ash. Cut to the Master. He feels Luke's death and falls to his knees.", "Master: Noooooooo! Noooooooo!", "Cut to Buffy. She stares at Luke's ashes. The two vampires still have Xander. She lifts her gaze to meet theirs. The vampires panic and run. Cut outside. The vampires run past Angel standing behind some boxes stacked against a wall. He watches them run. He looks back the other way.", "Angel: She did it! I'll be damned! He walks away. Cut inside to the stage. Buffy hops down to the floor. Giles and Willow meet her.", "Giles: I take it it's over.", "Willow: Did we win?", "Buffy: Well, we averted the apocalypse. I give us points for that.", "Xander: One thing's for sure: nothing's ever gonna be the same.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next Monday. Everything appears normal. Buffy walks along and overhears Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Well, I heard it was rival gangs. You know, fighting for turf? But all I can tell you is they were an ugly way of looking. And Buffy, like, knew them! Which is just too weird. I mean, I don't even remember that much, but I'm telling you, it was a freak show!", "Girl: Oh, I wish I'd been there!", "Cordelia: You should have been there. It was so creepy... She and her friend walk off. Buffy meets Xander.", "Buffy: What exactly were you expecting?", "Xander: I don't know, something. I mean, the dead rose. We should at least have an assembly. They run into Giles and Willow, and the four continue to walk.", "Giles: People have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't.", "Buffy: Believe me, I've seen it happen.", "Willow: Well, I'll never forget it, none of it.", "Giles: Good! Next time you'll be prepared.", "Xander: Next time?", "Willow: Next time is why?", "Giles: We've prevented the Master from freeing himself and opening the mouth of Hell. That's not to say he's going to stop trying. I'd say the fun is just beginning.", "Willow: More vampires? They stop walking.", "Giles: Not just vampires. The next threat we face may be something quite different.", "Buffy: I can hardly wait!", "Giles: We're at the center of a mystical convergence here. We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction.", "Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school! The three students continue to class. Giles stays behind and watches them go.", "Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths.", "Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.", "Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying. Giles turns to go back to his library.", "Giles: The Earth is doomed!" ]

[ "Buffy tries out for Sunnydale High's cheerleading squad. The Scoobies at first suspect that Amy is causing all the havoc but discover that her mother, also a practicing witch, has swapped bodies with her." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. Cut to the library.", "Giles: (upset) This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! (begins pacing) I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... (stops pacing) Cult?", "Buffy: (wearing a cheerleader outfit) You don't like the color?", "Giles: I d... (exasperated) Do you, um... (puts some books on a cart) Do you ignore everything I say as a, as a rule?", "Buffy: No, I believe that's your trick. Giles pushes the cart to the counter. Buffy skips in front of him and poses.", "Buffy: I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad!", "Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it. (goes back to the table)", "Buffy: And you'll be stopping me how?", "Giles: Well, I... (sits on the edge of the table and crosses his arms) By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists.", "Buffy: I will still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just wanna have a life, I wanna do something normal. Something safe.", "Cut to the witch's attic. The camera moves through the dark space. There are flowers and herbs hanging upside down from the rafters to dry and personal items with tags. The witch moves around in the darkness. The camera follows her to the cauldron. She waves a pendant on a chain over the brew, then pulls it back. She goes over to a rack and yanks off a doll hanging there by its neck on a wire.", "Cut to the gym. Cheerleader tryouts are about to start. Girls are stretching and practicing, doing back handsprings, cartwheels and walking handstands. One girl does a roundoff followed by a back handspring. Buffy, Willow and Xander come through the door.", "Willow: Giles didn't approve, huh?", "Buffy: He totally lost his water. We haven't seen a vampire in over a week. I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old.", "Willow: Well, we're behind you.", "Xander: People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this! He notices Amber doing the splits between two chairs.", "Xander: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I?", "Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.", "Xander: Who said I was pretending? (to Buffy) Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for tryouts. (hands her a bracelet)", "Buffy: What's this?", "Willow: What's that?", "Buffy: Oh, how sweet! (reads the inscription) 'Yours Always.'", "Xander: I-i-it came that way, really, they all said that!", "Willow: (exhales)", "Cordelia: (approaches them) Just look at that Amber. Who does she think she is, a Laker Girl?", "Willow: I heard she turned them down. Joy, the cheerleading squad leader, steps up with her clipboard and calls for everyone's attention.", "Joy: Okay, listen up! Let's begin with (checks her clipboard) Amber Grove. If you're not auditioning, move off the floor.", "Willow: (to Amy) Amy! Hi!", "Amy: (comes over) Hi!", "Willow: I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader! You lost a lot of weight.", "Amy: Had to.", "Willow: Do you know Buffy?", "Amy: Hi.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Amy: Oh, how I hate this, let me count the ways. Amber begins her routine. It's very athletic. She starts off with a needle split lift followed by a double spin and a jumping double spin. After landing, Amber launches herself into an aerial and a cartwheel. Jazz slides are then followed by a single spin. Everyone in the gym is intent on watching her.", "Amy: (to Buffy) She trained with Benson. He's one of the best coaches money can buy.", "Buffy: They have cheerleading coaches?", "Amy: Oh, yeah! Don't you have? I train with my mom, three hours in the morning, three at night.", "Buffy: Hmm, that much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some quality matricide.", "Amy: Oh, I know it's hokey. But she's really great. Cordelia turns away from Amber with a look of contempt on her face.", "Cordelia: Hmm! Buffy and Xander watch Amber in amazement. Amy and Willow are impressed, too. Amber's hands begin to smoke.", "Buffy: What the...?", "Willow: That girl's on fire!", "Cordelia: (facing away, not seeing the smoke) Enough of the hyperbole! Amber's hands catch fire. She drops her pompoms and screams. Buffy reacts. Amber flails her hands in the air. Buffy jumps up onto the stands and pulls down a banner. She runs back to Amber, knocks her down and snuffs out the flames with the banner. Everyone stares in shock.", "Buffy: (trying to comfort Amber) It's okay, it's okay, you're gonna be... okay. (to herself) God! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy is pacing. Willow and Xander are sitting at the table.", "Buffy: I've been slaying vampires for more than a year now, and I have seen some pretty cringeworthy things, but... nobody's hands ever got toasted before.", "Giles: (comes out of the cage) I imagine not.", "Buffy: So, this isn't a vampire problem.", "Giles: No.", "Buffy: (turns to Giles) But it is funky, right? Not of the norm?", "Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is, is rare, and, and scientifically unexplainable, but there have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that's left is a pile of ashes.", "Willow: That's all that would have been left if it hadn't been for Buffy.", "Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this. That's a comfort.", "Giles: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! (sits on the edge of the table) There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. (everyone looks at him) Pardon me for finding the glass half full.", "Buffy: Any common denominators in cases of spontaneous combustion?", "Giles: Uh, rage. In most cases the person who combusted was, was terribly angry or, or upset.", "Xander: So maybe Amber's got this power to make herself be on fire. It's like the human torch, only it hurts.", "Buffy: I need to get the skinny on Amber. Find out if she's had any colorful episodes before. (starts to go)", "Willow: That means hacking illegally into the school's computer system. At last, something *I* can do! She and Xander get up and go over to Buffy.", "Xander: I'll ask around about her.", "Buffy: You guys don't have to get involved.", "Xander: What d'ya mean? We're a team! Aren't we a team?", "Willow: Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!", "Buffy: I just don't like putting you guys in danger.", "Xander: Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.", "Buffy: Okay, just walk softly, at least until we know a little more. I mean, what if Amber isn't causing these problems herself?", "Giles: Well, then we have to determine who or what did, and, uh, deal with it accordingly.", "Cut to the kitchen at the Summers house. There are several wooden boxes and crates. Joyce is trying to pry one open with a crowbar. Buffy comes in.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Joyce: Hi, how was school?", "Buffy: Mm, a reverent joy. What's all this?", "Joyce: It's for the tribal art display.", "Buffy: Cool! (examines a piece) We had tryouts today.", "Joyce: Oh, great! How'd it go? (exhales)", "Buffy: I didn't actually get to try out. There was an accident. Pretty fierce competition, though.", "Joyce: Oh, I know you'll do fine. Keep on pluggin', just have to get back on the horse.", "Buffy: Mom?", "Joyce: Yeah?", "Buffy: What was I trying out for?", "Joyce: Oh, uh... (stops prying at the crate and looks at Buffy) Some activity? I have no idea, I'm sorry.", "Buffy: That's okay. Your platitudes are good for all occasions.", "Joyce: (exhales) I'm distracted. (starts prying again and exhales) Got a lotta inventory to go through, here. (exhales) This is my Gallery's first major show. (exhales and gives up) You know, it might not physically kill you to give me a hand here. (goes to check her clipboard) Buffy grabs the lid of the crate and effortlessly tears it off.", "Buffy: It was cheerleading.", "Joyce: Oh good! I'm glad you're taking that up again, it'll keep you out of trouble.", "Buffy: I'm not *in* trouble.", "Joyce: No, not yet. Buffy is hurt. Her mother looks up from her clipboard and notices.", "Joyce: I mean, you stopped cheerleading just before the trouble, so it's good you're going back. She goes back to the crate and partially lifts out a statue.", "Joyce: Oh, dear.", "Buffy: What?", "Joyce: The fertility statue, you don't need to see it. She replaces the crate's lid and goes back to her clipboard.", "Buffy: Y'know, there's this girl, Amy, and, um, she trains with her mom, like, three hours a day.", "Joyce: Uh-huh.", "Buffy: Sounds like her mom's pretty into it.", "Joyce: Sounds like her mom doesn't have a lot to do. She walks out of the kitchen with a piece of art. Buffy lifts the crate's lid a little bit and looks in.", "Buffy: Jeepers!", "Cut to the gym the next day. Tryouts have resumed.", "Joy: (pacing) Despite the terrible thing that happened yesterday we still have to pick new cheerleaders. If you make the team you'll find your names posted in the quad after lunch. Let's begin with group performance.", "Amy: (to Buffy) Why do my hands have to sweat when I get nervous?", "Buffy: (to Amy) Don't worry. You'll do great.", "Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight!", "All: Sunnydale! Sunnydale! We never fail! We never fail! Jump and Shoot! Swish and score! The other team is such a bore! Yeah! Amy blows the cartwheel and crashes into Cordelia. Cordelia yelps as she falls and then quickly gets up.", "Cordelia: You saw that, right? That wasn't me! You saw that, right? (looks at Amy and back again) Right?", "Cut to the halls. Amy is admiring the trophies in the case with a longing look. Buffy comes up next to her. Amy notices her, smiles and points to a picture in the case.", "Amy: That's my mom!", "Buffy: No! (reads the inscription) Catherine Madison. Get down with your bad self!", "Amy: Her nickname was 'Catherine the Great'. She took that team and made them tri-county champions. Y'know, no one's ever done that before, or since. She and my dad were Homecoming King and Queen. They got married right after graduation.", "Buffy: That's kinda romantic.", "Amy: Well, he was a big loser. Never made any money. Ran off with Miss Trailer Trash when I was twelve.", "Buffy: Okay, that part's less romantic. My folks split up, too.", "Amy: Drag, huh? Uh, he left my mom with nothing. She put herself through cosmetology school. (smiles) Bought me everything I ever wanted. (shakes her head) And never once gained a single pound.", "Buffy: (walks around to face Amy) Uh, she sounds really great, Amy, but, um... it doesn't mean that you need to lock step as far as this cheerleading thing.", "Amy: She was the best! And I can't get my body to *move* like hers! I choked in there so bad!", "Buffy: No, Amy, you did fine.", "Amy: (dejected) I'm gonna get changed.", "Buffy: Wait! No...", "Willow: (walking by) Hey, Amy! (comes over to Buffy) Is she okay?", "Buffy: No, she's, she's wiggin' about her mom, big cheer queen back when.", "Willow: Yeah, her mom's kinda...", "Buffy: ...Nazi like?", "Willow: Heil. If she gains an ounce she padlocks the fridge and won't eat anything but broth.", "Buffy: So, mommy dearest is really... Mommy Dearest?", "Willow: There's a bitter streak. But Amy's nice. We used to hang in Junior High. When her mom would go on a broth kick Amy'd come over to my house and we'd stuff ourselves with brownies! They start down the hall.", "Buffy: Hey, any word on Amber?", "Willow: Nothing thrilling. Average student. Got detention once, for smoking. Regular smoking... with a cigarette, not, like, being smoky.", "Buffy: Hmm.", "Willow: All pretty normal.", "Buffy: So we just have to wait and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing will.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. The camera shows the showers dripping.", "Cut to a row of lockers. The camera follows them around a corner to Amy alone at her locker. She hears a noise and turns to look. Nothing. The showers keep dripping. Amy closes her locker and starts to go, but is surprised by Cordelia.", "Cordelia: I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every varsity male as far as the eye can see! We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we... wither and die!", "Amy: Look, I'm sorry about...", "Cordelia: (cuts Amy off) Shhh! If your supreme klutziness out there today takes me out of the running, you're gonna be so *very* beyond sorry! (smiles) Have a nice day. Cordelia turns and leaves. She throws her scrunchie into an open locker and slams the door as she rounds the corner, but it doesn't stay shut. Amy leans on her locker, apparently shaken. Cut outside. Willow and Xander are walking.", "Willow: I told Buffy about Amber.", "Xander: Cool! Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like we're goin' out.", "Willow: Except without the hugging or kissing or her knowing about it.", "Xander: So I'm just a figure of fun. (exhales) I should ask her out, right?", "Willow: You won't know till you ask.", "Xander: That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about girl stuff!", "Willow: Oh, great. I'm a guy.", "Xander: Oh, hey, they're posting the list! He runs off to check the list of names for the cheerleading squad. Cut to the crowd in front of the bulletin board. Buffy and Amy are at the back. A girl rushes away in tears because her name is not on the list.", "Amy: I can't take this. Joy steps away from posting the list on the bulletin board. Lishanne sees her name on the list.", "Lishanne: Yes! Xander comes up behind Buffy and Amy.", "Xander: Cover me, I'm goin' in. He pushes his way through the crowd and looks at the list. Cordelia comes out of the crowd.", "Cordelia: (to Amy) You're lucky!", "Amy: I made it?", "Cordelia: I made it! Xander comes back out of the crowd and gets hit on the way.", "Xander: One of those girls hit me really hard! You should test for steroids. Okay, not only did you make the team, but you, Miss Summers, are the first alternate, and Amy's number three. Amy looks at Buffy, badly disappointed, and leaves.", "Xander: And what a better way to celebrate than with a romantic drive through...", "Willow: Xander, alternates are the ones who didn't make the team, they only fill in if something happens to the ones who did.", "Buffy: Excuse me. (goes to console Amy)", "Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.", "Buffy: (catches up with Amy) At least it's over. And you know what I think we should do about it? Brownie pigout, my house, after school.", "Amy: It's just how many more hours a day can I practice? Y'know, how much more can I do? This would never happen to my mother. Never. She walks off. Buffy stares after her.", "Cut to Amy's house. The camera closes in on the brickwork outside of the attic. Cut inside the attic. The camera pans from the wall across a bunch of tagged personal items that she's taken from people. Cut to the cauldron. Amy stirs the pot.", "Amy: Give me the power. Give me the dark. She goes to get another doll from her rack.", "Amy: I call on you, the laughing gods. She yanks one of the dolls off of the rack.", "Amy: Let your blackness crawl beneath my skin. She wraps Cordelia's scrunchie around the doll's head.", "Amy: Accept thy sacrifice... of Cordelia. Feed on her. She drops the doll into the brew. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers kitchen. The toaster pops up and Buffy takes out a freshly toasted half of a bagel. She takes it to the island in the middle of the kitchen for more preparation. Her mother comes in.", "Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. Oh, look! There I am. She puts the book down on the island and goes to get a cup of coffee. Buffy looks at the picture.", "Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had s*x. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.", "Joyce: This is Gidgit hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?", "Buffy: Well, it's really cool, but I gotta book.", "Joyce: Well, I was thinking. I know the cheerleading thing didn't work out... Maybe you should think about joining the yearbook staff. I did, it was a lot of fun.", "Buffy: Not really my tip, mom. (opens the refrigerator)", "Joyce: I was, uh, photo editor. I got to be on every page, made me look much more popular than I was.", "Buffy: And have you seen the kids that do yearbook? Nerds pick on them.", "(walks to her bag)", "Joyce: Some of the best times I had in school were working on the yearbook!", "Buffy: (faces her mom) Oh, this just in: I'm not you! I'm into my own thing.", "Joyce: Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you!", "Buffy is hurt. She takes her bag and starts to go.", "Joyce: Honey, uhhh... (Buffy leaves) Uhhh! Great parenting form! Little shaky on the dismount.", "Cut to the hall at school. Cordelia walks past Willow and Xander in a daze.", "Xander: Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've done? (to Willow) Okay, see how she has no clue that I'm even a mammal, much less a human being?", "Willow: (takes the pen from her mouth) I see that.", "Xander: This is the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's.", "Willow: (closes her locker) You're not invisible to Buffy. She chews on her pen some more as they start to walk down the hall.", "Xander: It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it.", "Willow: (takes her pen out of her mouth) Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to...", "Xander: Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush.", "Willow: Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more.", "Xander: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Buffy comes out of a classroom and walks toward them.", "Xander: Okay, into battle I go. (quickly turns to Willow) Would you ask her out for me? He grabs her by the shoulders, startling her. Buffy sees Cordelia trying to work the combination on a locker. Xander pulls himself together.", "Xander: No. Man. (lets go of Willow) Me battle. (to Buffy) Buffy! Would you like to, uh...", "Buffy: (reaches Willow and Xander) Is that even Cordelia's locker? They see Cordelia give up and continue down the hall.", "Xander: Huh? Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night...", "Buffy: (watching Cordelia go and cutting him off) Xander, I have to, um... (faces him) We can make this up later. You don't mind do you? She gives him her book and follows Cordelia. Xander whistles like the sound of a bomb falling and exploding. Willow looks at him and continues chewing on her pen. Cut outside. Buffy comes out of the hall and looks around for Cordelia. She sees her and starts to follow. Cut to Mr. Pole, the Driver's Ed. Teacher. He's waiting impatiently for Cordelia. He turns and sees her coming.", "Mr. Pole: Nice of you to join us, Cordelia. We didn't keep you waiting or anything, did we? It's your turn to drive. Okay, people, let's buckle up.", "Cordelia: (goes around the front of the car) I don't wanna drive today, Mr. Pole.", "Mr. Pole: You've flunked Driver's Ed. twice already. Show me some moves, or you'll be taking the bus to college. He gets in the car. Cordelia gets in last. Buffy watches from behind a school bus.", "Mr. Pole: Okay. Check the brake. Check the mirror. Start the engine. Cordelia turns the key and the engine starts.", "Mr. Pole: Hello? Put the car in drive. Cordelia struggles with the shifting lever.", "Mr. Pole: Let's move forward through the cones with a gentle even turn to the... The car takes off backward, crashes into some signs and stops. Cordelia gets it in drive and the car races forward, burning rubber.", "Mr. Pole: Slow down. Slow, slow, turn right! Turn right! Cordelia loses control as the car races along the course, knocking down cones and signs. Buffy begins running after them.", "Mr. Pole: Brakes! Brakes! The car crashes through the fence and bushes, out onto the street where it comes to a sudden halt. Another car just manages to swerve around them.", "Mr. Pole: Everybody out! They all get out. Cordelia is in a daze, and she walks into the middle of the street. A delivery van is coming the other way, but it doesn't slow down. Buffy comes running. Cordelia turns to see the van coming and screams. Buffy leaps over the Driver's Ed. car and grabs Cordelia, pulling her down and out of the way. The van takes out the open car door as Buffy and Cordelia roll to a stop.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God, I, I can't see anything!", "Buffy: It's, it's okay, it's... (sees Cordelia's eyes) Oh God!", "Cordelia: What's happening? I can't see anything! Her eyes have no more irises and are completely white.", "Cut to the library. The team is sitting at the table.", "Giles: Witchcraft. Blinding your enemy to disorient and disable them is, it's classic!", "Xander: First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.", "Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?", "Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?", "Giles: And setting Amber ablaze?", "Xander: Yeah, those guys don't hang...", "Buffy: They're both cheerleaders.", "Giles: Someone doesn't like cheerleading.", "Buffy: Or likes it too much.", "Willow: Amy!", "Buffy: Amy!", "Xander: So, you guys are leaning towards Amy?", "Buffy: She's desperate to get on that team, and I've got this feeling she'd do just about anything to make her mom's dream come true.", "Giles: Uh, let me make sure I have this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells so that she can become a cheerleader?", "Buffy: I think you're underestimating the amount of pressure a parent can lay on you. If you're not a picture perfect carbon copy they tend to wig.", "Willow: Cheerleading was kind of her mom's last hurrah.", "Xander: Look, we still have to stop Amy. We should grab her and...", "Giles: (interrupts) I think we should be sure she's the witch before we arouse her suspicions. She's, she's capable of some fairly unpleasant things.", "Buffy: Okay, alright, (gets up) so, you're in high school, you are desperate to make the team and please your mom, so you turn to witchcraft. What's the first thing you're gonna do?", "Willow: Check out the books on witchcraft! She and Buffy go over to the computer to access the on-line library card catalog.", "Xander: Uh, no! No, that would be the last thing you would do! You don't wanna leave a paper trail. Forget that!", "Willow: It'll just take a minute. Xander gets up and stands behind them.", "Xander: We don't have a minute! Cheerleaders are in danger. Buffy's in danger. (to Buffy) You were the first alternate, you are on the team now that Cordelia's out. You could be next. We gotta get you to a safe house.", "Willow: Xander...", "Xander: Yeah.", "Willow: (exhales) 'Witches: Historic Roots to Modern Practice.' Checked out by Alexander Harris.", "Buffy: 'The Pagan Rites', checked out by Alexander...", "Xander: Alright, alright, it's not what you think.", "Willow: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?", "Xander: Oh, well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think.", "Giles: Have you all quite finished? We have to find a conclusive test. There may be something in here... (pages through a book) Yes, this should do it. You'll need some of her hair, a little quicksilver and some aquafortis.", "Willow: Well, that's just mercury and nitric acid. You can get that in the science lab.", "Giles: (reads) 'Heat ingredients and apply to witch, and if a spell has been cast in the previous 48 hours, witch's skin turns blue.' Hmm. (shuts the book) Oh, and you'll need some Eye of Newt.", "Cut to science class. The camera shows Dr. Gregory holding a frog as reflected in a mirror propped up on a stick above him. It pans down to show him holding the frog up for the class to see.", "Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track one may begin your dissections... now. He indicates where the students should cut their frogs. Cut to Xander trying to take his frog's eye out with tweezers.", "Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track two (cut to him) take your hydrochloric acid and your ammonium hydroxide and carefully pour them into your beakers. He begins to pour. Cut to Xander still struggling with the frog's eye.", "Dr. Gregory: Now slow, slow...", "Xander: I can't. Willow grabs the frog and takes out its eye.", "Dr. Gregory: ...capping one, I'm being safe. And you get...", "Willow: (drops the eye into the beaker) Eye of Newt!", "Cut to Dr. Gregory. The ingredients in the beaker react and begin to bubble and smoke.", "Dr. Gregory: ...that.", "Cut to Xander.", "Xander: How's Buffy doing with the hair? They look toward Buffy. Cut to Lishanne at another lab table.", "Lishanne: (to Buffy) Isn't this exciting!", "Buffy: Oh, yeah! (to Amy) Amy, help me. Um, which is the hydrochloric acid and which is the, uh, ammonium hydroxide?", "Amy: Well, the bottle that says 'hydrochloric acid' is usually the hydrochloric acid.", "Buffy: Read the bottles. Good concept! (laughs nervously and drops her pencil) Oops. She crouches down to pick up the pencil. She reaches into Amy's bag and pulls some hair off of her brush. She gets up and tries to pretend nothing happened. She glances at Amy to gauge her reaction. Amy smiles back weakly. She noticed but pretends she didn't. Buffy waves her pencil and smiles back. She heads back to her lab table with an expression of relief at having avoided a close call. She puts the hair on Willow's bench as she walks by. Willow picks up the hair and mixes it into the concoction. Amy looks back at them to see what they're doing. Willow and Xander look back nervously.", "Xander: (in a low voice) Wave 'Hi' to the nice little witch! Amy overhears and gives them another quick look. Willow takes the beaker and pours some of the liquid into a test-tube.", "Willow: All set. (hands the tube to Buffy) Do you have a plan?", "Buffy: Spill it on her. Try 'n' make it look natural.", "Xander: We're right behind you, only... further back. Buffy slowly makes her way over to Amy.", "Dr. Gregory: Lishanne, can you tell me why these chemicals have this reaction? Buffy pours some of the mixture onto Amy's arm and feigns an accident, drawing in her breath. She sees the liquid turn blue on contact.", "Dr. Gregory: Lishanne? Amy apparently didn't notice the spill. She's looking over at Lishanne.", "Dr. Gregory: Are you... Oh, my God! Buffy looks over at Lishanne now, too, and sees her shaking her head violently. She turns to the camera and everyone sees that she no longer has a mouth. Buffy stares in amazement. She looks back at Amy, who looks amazed, too. Willow and Xander are also stunned.", "Cut to the halls. Buffy, Willow and Xander are discussing the result of their experiment.", "Xander: Did you see? Amy was as freaked out as the rest of us.", "Willow: So it's not her?", "Buffy: The test was positive! She's our Sabrina. I just don't think she realizes what she's doing.", "Willow: Well, should we talk to her?", "Buffy: Maybe we should talk to her mother. I wonder if *she* knows what she's created.", "Cut to Amy's house. She walks through the gate with determination. The gate has a gargoyle face on it. She comes into the house and looks around for her mother.", "Amy: Where are you?", "Cut to Catherine. She quickly turns off the TV and gets up. Amy sees her.", "Amy: Another productive day in front of the TV? Catherine just looks back.", "Amy: I got a history report due tomorrow. (drops her bag) Write it! Catherine can only keep looking and exhales.", "Amy: (considers) I should be on that team by now. But instead Miss *Buffy* and friends are sneaking around stealing bits of my hair. Catherine shakes her head. Amy opens her hand and out drops Buffy's bracelet.", "Amy: I'll be upstairs. Catherine watches her go.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning in Buffy's room. It's a bit of a mess. The camera pans through it and stops on Buffy still sleeping. The alarm clock goes off. She slaps it with her hand hard enough to smash it with her strength.", "Buffy: Oh! Oops! Oh... (sits up) Mm...", "Cut to the kitchen. Joyce is making fresh-squeezed orange juice. Buffy comes dancing in singing and wearing her cheerleader outfit.", "Buffy: Macho, macho, man! I want to be a macho man. Macho... Oh, hey, juice! (grabs the glass and drinks) Mm... Quality juice. Not from concentrate!", "Joyce: (glances at Buffy) You're in a good mood.", "Buffy: I am! I'm on the squad, which is great, 'cause I feel like cheering and leading others to cheer. Ooo, hey, juice! Buffy takes the second glass and drinks again.", "Joyce: Listen, honey, about yesterday, I really...", "Buffy: Mm! That is totally yester. Besides, it's not like you were wrong, y'know. I did get kicked outta school. I'm just wacky that way!", "Joyce: Still, I just want you to know that, despite the problems you've had, I really...", "Buffy: (cuts her off) Mom, you just don't get it. And, believe me, you don't want it. Y'know, there are just some things about being a Vampire Slayer that the older generation...", "Joyce: A what?", "Buffy: It's a... long story.", "Joyce: Buffy, are you feeling well?", "Buffy: What? Oh, I'm, I'm fine, y'know? What, like, I can't be in a good mood? Is it, like, a new house rule? Fine, y'know? It's just fine, fine, fine, 'cause... I'm a macho, macho man! I want to be a macho man! (bobs her head) Macho, macho man! (leaves the kitchen) I want to be a macho man!", "Cut to the gym for cheerleading practice. Buffy is positioned next to Joy in the lineup.", "Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight! The cheerleaders begin practicing a routine.", "Buffy: Turn up the music! The routine continues until Buffy stomps on Joy's foot.", "Joy: (yells) Ow! Get it together Buffy! We have a game in less than four hours! Xander and Willow come in.", "Buffy: (jumping gleefully) Willow! Xander! My buds are here! I love my buds! Hi! (notices everyone staring) Hi... Oh... She gets back in line and the routine continues.", "Xander: (to Willow) Is it me, or is Buffy a bit looped? Willow casts a worried gaze. The cheerleaders continue with a series of assisted cartwheels.", "Willow: We better get her outta there.", "Xander: Yeah, before she... Buffy overthrows Joy's aerial, sending her crashing into the gym wall.", "Xander: ...hurts someone. Ay... Joy gets up as Buffy comes running over.", "Buffy: Did I do that?", "Joy: (pushes Buffy) You are *so* out of here! Willow and Xander come running up and each grab one of Buffy's arms.", "Willow: It's not her fault!", "Xander: She's on medication.", "Buffy: (to Xander) What?", "Joy: Well, obviously not enough. Who's our next alternate? Oh. Amy, you just made cheerleader.", "Buffy: No, no, no. You don't want her, she's a wi... Xander quickly puts his hand over Buffy's mouth.", "Xander: A wise choice indeed! He and Willow pull Buffy away, nodding and casting nervous smiles at Amy and Joy. Amy stares after them.", "Cut to the hall outside the gym. Willow and Xander are supporting Buffy between them as they come down the hall.", "Buffy: She's a witchy!", "Willow: Buffy...", "Buffy: I just got kicked off the team, didn't I?", "Xander: I don't think it was your fault.", "Buffy: Hmm, I know you don't, that's 'cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend! (leans her head on his shoulder) Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander?", "Willow: We gotta to get her to a...", "Xander: (stops Willow with a gesture) Let her speak!", "Buffy: I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all.", "Xander: Well...", "Buffy: You are totally, and completely one of the girls! (to Willow) I'm that comfy with him. Willow smiles widely.", "Xander: That's great.", "Buffy: Any other guy who'd give me a bracelet, they'd... wanna date me, and be like a... She begins to feel woozy.", "Buffy: Oh! I, I don't feel so good.", "Willow: Buffy? Buffy collapses into their arms.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is lying prone in a chair with a wet cloth on her forehead. Willow supports her head and keeps the cloth in place with her hand.", "Willow: We've gotta get her to a hospital!", "Giles: They can't help her. This is a bloodstone vengeance spell. (takes her pulse) Hits the body hard like a, a quart of alcohol, and then it e-eradicates the, uh, immune system.", "Xander: A vengeance spell, like she's trying to get even with Buffy?", "Buffy: 'Cause she knows I know she's a witch.", "Giles: The others she just wanted out of the running. You she intends to, um...", "Buffy: Kill?", "Willow: How much time do we have?", "Giles: Oh, uh, I'm sure, uh...", "Buffy: Truth. Please.", "Giles: Couple of hours... Three at most.", "Xander: Well, how do we reverse the spell?", "Giles: (gets up) Well I, I've been researching that, and, uh, we can reverse all the spells if, um... (takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes) ...we can just lay our hands on, on Amy's spell book.", "Willow: And if we can't get a hold of it?", "Giles: Well, the other way is to cut the witch's head off. (puts his glasses back on)", "Xander: Show of hands! (raises his hand)", "Buffy: It's not Amy's fault. She only became a witch to survive her mother.", "Xander: (to Buffy) Look, I don't care why, I just care that you go on breathing.", "Buffy: Giles, where would she be casting these spells?", "Giles: Oh, she needs a, a sacred space. A-a-a pentagram, um, large pot.", "Buffy: Her home. Okay. Help me up. Xander and Willow help her up.", "Buffy: We'll just go to her house and we'll get her book.", "Willow: Okay, we'll go with you.", "Buffy: Uh, no! You guys stay here and keep an eye on Amy.", "Giles: (takes Buffy from them) And keep her away from the science lab. We'll need it to cast our counter-spells. He and Buffy go. Willow and Xander look at each other. Xander exhales.", "Cut to Giles' old car pulling up to Amy's house. Cut inside. Catherine has a plate of brownies on her lap and takes a bite of one. Giles knocks. She looks up, startled. Giles knocks some more. Buffy looks very tired and out of it. Catherine slides the plate under the coffee table and gets up. Giles knocks again. Catherine opens the door.", "Catherine: Who are you? Wha, um, uh, is there something wrong?", "Giles: Mrs. Madison, we need to talk to you about your daughter.", "Catherine: I'm not allow... You'll have to come back later. She tries to close the door, but Giles prevents her and pushes his way in.", "Giles: Excuse me!", "Catherine: What?", "Giles: (turns to help Buffy) You alright? (looks for a place to sit her down) Um, in here. (leads Buffy into the living room) Your daughter is meddling with something very dangerous, are you aware of that? (sits Buffy on the couch)", "Catherine: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about.", "Giles: Oh, I think you know only too well.", "Catherine: You've got to go. She's gonna be home soon, and you...", "Giles: (indicates Buffy) This girl is very sick. (very angry) Now you will shut up and you will listen to me! Your daughter has access to some very powerful magics, and somehow your obsession with cheerleading has made...", "Catherine: (interrupts, incredulous) I don't care about cheerleading! It's not my fault she's doing stuff. Buffy sees the brownies and begins to realize who Catherine really is.", "Giles: As her mother you should assume some responsibility for her actions.", "Catherine: (laughs) Well, you know, these kids today! I... (calms down a bit) She's out of her mind. Ever since dad, her dad... left I can't control her. Buffy slowly gets up.", "Giles: You're afraid of her?", "Buffy: Amy? Catherine looks at Buffy and realizes she's been found out. Giles looks at Buffy, still puzzled.", "Buffy: Are you Amy?", "Giles: (looks back at Catherine) I don't understand.", "Buffy: She switched! She switched your bodies, didn't she? Catherine looks down, defeated.", "Giles: (the truth dawns on him) Good Lord!", "Buffy: She wanted to relive her glory days!", "Catherine: (looks back up) She said I was wasting my youth. So she took it! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The living room at Amy's house. The camera pans to them sitting on the couch.", "Catherine: I didn't know anything about her powers. I mean, when dad was here they would fight and yell and he would... call her a witch and... I mean, I would, just thought he meant... Oh, God, when he left I wanted to go with him. But she wouldn't even let me call. She went crazy, I mean, she'd lock herself upstairs for days, and she was always coming down on me, telling me I didn't deserve to have it so easy, and that I didn't know... how hard it was to be her, and... I guess she showed me, huh?", "Buffy: (takes her hand) Amy, it's gonna be okay.", "Catherine: A few months ago, I woke up in h... her bed! I didn't know where I was, and... then I looked in the mirror...", "Giles: She locked herself upstairs?", "Catherine: Yes.", "Giles: Where?", "Cut to the attic. Giles breaks in the door, comes in and starts to look around. Catherine comes in after him.", "Catherine: (tries to stop him) Don't! If she finds out I've been here she'll kill me! Giles walks around the cauldron to the rack with the hanging dolls. He sees the two dolls bound together for the body-switching spell and takes them in his hand.", "Giles: My God! (exhales) I believe we can reverse your mother's spell. Well, all of them, in fact. (lets go of the dolls)", "Catherine: You could? Really, you could?", "Giles: We need to find her books. There'd be specific volumes she'd need for this kind of casting. He begins to look around some more. He finds a trunk and knocks off the things on top.", "Giles: Collect those dolls, and, uh, any other personal effects... As he starts to open the trunk a black cat jumps at him and surprises him.", "Giles: Ah! Nice kitty... (calms down) Let's see what you were guarding. (opens the trunk) Ah, yes! (takes out a book) This is it.", "Cut to Giles and Catherine coming back down the stairs and going into the living room.", "Buffy: Did we find?", "Giles: We found. Come on. He helps Buffy up from the couch. She's gotten weaker.", "Catherine: But where are you going?", "Giles: We're going to school. He realizes Buffy is too weak to walk and picks her up in his arms.", "Giles: And you're coming with us.", "Cut to the gym. The Sunnydale High basketball team comes through the doors and onto the court. The camera pans across the court, then back and across the cheerleaders, stopping on Amy. Amy's clearly very happy to be there. Cut to Xander and Willow in the stands, watching Amy.", "Cut to the science classroom. Giles carries Buffy in and lays her down on a lab table, knocking everything off of it in the process. He takes off his coat.", "Giles: (to Buffy) I'm gonna stop this. I promise. Buffy looks up at him. He folds his coat and puts it under her head as a pillow. Her vision is blurred.", "Giles: You just hang on. Buffy moans. Giles goes to the box of books and other things Catherine has set on Dr. Gregory's bench and reaches in to get Amy's spell book.", "Catherine: (concerned) How is she?", "Giles: We only have a few minutes left.", "Cut to the gym and the cheerleaders.", "Cheerleaders: Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! (yells from the cheerleaders) The camera focuses on Amy in slow motion. Cut to a slow pan across the crowd. Cut to Amy with a smile on her face.", "Cut to the science classroom. Catherine is cutting an eye from a frog, and is squeamish about it.", "Giles: Right! Here we go!", "Cut to Buffy. She's getting weaker. Cut back to Giles. He recites as he mixes a potion.", "Giles: The center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes. Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me!", "Cut to the gym. The cheerleaders are doing a counting chant. The camera focuses on Amy. She stops chanting and looks startled. Her vision flashes to what Catherine sees in the science lab, the book and the frog. She's back in the gym and takes up the count again, but has a worried look on her face. Cut back to the lab.", "Catherine: Oh, it's... it's working! Giles takes the book up from the table and reads.", "Giles: Unlock the gate. Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy fear. Catherine staggers back and covers her face.", "Giles: Show me... The lights go out in the classroom.", "Cut to the gym. Some of the cheerleaders are lifting Amy. Once up she thrusts her fists into the air and gives the crowd a big smile. Her smile fades as she has another flash to the lab, where she gets a glimpse of Buffy. She comes back to the gym and begins to lose her balance. Xander and Willow watch. The cheerleaders supporting Amy struggle for control, but they collapse. The crowd reacts to the fall. Xander and Willow see everything, too. Cut back to Amy.", "Joy: Amy, what's your problem? Amy shoots her a dirty look. Joy is taken aback. Amy gets up, looks around and runs from the gym. Cut to the lab.", "Catherine: She's coming! Giles looks worried.", "Cut to the halls. Amy violently pushes open a door. Willow stops her.", "Willow: Amy!", "Amy: Get out of my way!", "Willow: W-wait! I-I-I need to talk to you, I-I can help you.", "Amy: Help me? With what?", "Willow: Uh, well, y'know, all your witchcraft! I, I know this really good cauldron. Xander sneaks up behind Amy.", "Willow: Do you actually ride a broom? Amy twists around, growls and holds out her hand like she's grabbing Xander's neck. His hand goes to his throat. Amy makes a fist and twists it. Xander collapses to the floor, choking.", "Willow: Xander! Amy spins back around and punches Willow hard in the face, knocking her to the floor. She starts running to the lab.", "Cut to the lab. Giles is holding up his arms and chanting.", "Giles: Corsheth and Gilail! The gate is closed! Receive the dark! Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be sated! He plunges his hands into the mixture he's concocted.", "Cut to the halls. Amy slams through another door and continues walking to the lab with a determined look on her face. She tries the door, but it's locked. She yanks at it. Cut inside. Giles takes his hands out of the brew. Catherine looks at the door and sees it's being yanked on.", "Giles: Be sated! Release the unworthy! Cut back to the hall. Amy stops yanking at the door and finds a fire ax in a glass case. She breaks the glass with her fist and takes out the ax. Cut inside to Buffy. She can't keep her eyes open and is just rolling her head slowly.", "Giles: Release! Amy begins to chop down the door.", "Giles: Release! Buffy lies prone. Amy has made a hole, reaches through and gets the door open. She marches in, ax in hand, straight over to Buffy.", "Giles: RELEEEEASE! Amy starts to wield the ax, but stops when there's a flash of light and the spells are all broken. She is herself again. She looks around, a bit confused, steps back and lowers the ax. Buffy has her strength back and gets up from the table. Giles sees that she is okay.", "Amy: Buffy?", "Buffy: Amy? Catherine lunges at Buffy from the side and tackles her to the floor, knocking her out. Giles advances, holding his arm out and pointing.", "Giles: You... you... Catherine growls and looks at him. She uses her powers to force him back and push a table against him, knocking him down and out. Amy just stands there watching, still holding the ax in both hands. Catherine gets up and confronts her.", "Catherine: You! You little brat!", "Amy: (holds the ax threateningly) Mom! Please! Catherine holds out her hand and the ax flies from Amy's hands to hers.", "Catherine: How dare you raise your hand to your mother! I gave you birth. I gave up my life so you could drag that worthless carcass around and call it living? (swings the ax into a lab table) You've never been anything but trouble. I'm going to put you where you can't make trouble again!", "Buffy: (jumps up behind Catherine) Guess what? Catherine turns to face her.", "Buffy: I feel better! She punches Catherine, and she flies through the air, lands on a lab table and rolls off, hitting a shelf full of bottles along the way. She quickly gets up.", "Catherine: That body was mine! Mine!", "Buffy: Oh, grow up! Catherine growls, holds her arm out toward Buffy and uses her powers to send her flying against the wall. Buffy hits the wall and falls to the floor. She gets up, craning her neck. Catherine begins to cast a spell.", "Catherine: I shall look upon my enemy! She looks up at Buffy, and her eyes have become pitch black.", "Catherine: I shall look upon her and the dark place will have her soul! Buffy looks around for a way to stop her. She sees the pole holding up the mirror above her.", "Catherine: Corsheth, take her! Buffy does a standing hook kick, knocking the pole out from under the mirror and letting it flop down. Catherine's spell leaps from her hands and is reflected by the mirror back at her. The power of the spell envelops her and she screams. The energy twists around her and disappears with a roar, taking her with it. Buffy surveys the scene. Amy is badly shaken. Buffy sees Giles unconscious on the floor. He wakes up.", "Giles: Well, that was, um, interesting. Buffy gives him her hand and helps him up.", "Buffy: You guys okay?", "Amy: I'm fine!", "Giles: I assume the, uh, all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so... (inhales) I may have got it wrong.", "Buffy: You saved my life! You were a god!", "Amy: Well, I didn't think you'd pull it off. Suddenly Xander comes rushing in and grabs Amy tightly.", "Xander: I got her! I got her! Cut her head off!", "Buffy: Xander, what are you doing?", "Xander: Saving you?", "Buffy: Get your hands off of her.", "Xander: But she's evil.", "Giles: It wasn't exactly her.", "Amy: I was my mom.", "Xander: Oh! (releases her) Now Willow comes running in, too, wielding a bat.", "Willow: Where is she?!", "Xander: Uh, hey Willow! It's cool!", "Willow: It is?", "Xander: Yeah, I took care of it. They all just look at each other.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She scoops her smashed alarm clock into a wastebasket. Her mother comes in.", "Joyce: I don't get it.", "Buffy: What?", "Joyce: I've been doing a lot of thinking about... where you're coming from, how to relate to you... and I've come to a very simple conclusion: I don't get it.", "Buffy: I'm inscrutable, huh?", "Joyce: You're sixteen. I think there's a, a biological imperative whereby I can't understand you because I'm not sixteen.", "Buffy: Do you ever wish you could be sixteen again?", "Joyce: Oh, that's a frightful notion. (exhales) Go through all that again? Not even if it helped me understand you. She smiles at her daughter, and Buffy smiles back.", "Buffy: I love you, mom. She jumps up and kisses her mom on the cheek, then runs from the room.", "Joyce: I don't get it!", "Cut to the school halls. Buffy and Amy are walking together.", "Amy: My dad is *so* impossible! He doesn't ever want me going anywhere! He wants to spend total quantity time together. And I'm, like, 'Dad, I can go out, it's perfectly safe!' But he's got all this guilt about leaving me with my mom. And he's being a total pain.", "Buffy: You're loving it.", "Amy: Every single minute.", "Cut to another part of the hall.", "Amy: This Saturday night he wants to stay in and make brownies. Well, the brownies were my idea.", "Cordelia: (comes up behind them) Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to alternate. (reconsiders) Hold it, wait... No I'm not!", "Amy: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms.", "Cordelia: Ooo, these grapes are sour! Buffy and Amy stop at the trophy case while Cordelia continues on.", "Amy: (to Buffy) Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you wanted to be on the squad.", "Buffy: Oh, hey, that's okay. Cheerleading's just a little too hairy for me these days.", "Amy: (takes a breath) That's for sure. They go around to the front of the case and look at Catherine's picture.", "Amy: Catherine the Great.", "Buffy: And there's been no sign of her?", "Amy: That last spell... She said I'd never make trouble again. Wherever she is I don't think we'll have to worry. They look at Catherine's cheerleading trophy.", "Buffy: Twisted. They turn and go.", "Amy: I'm just happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat.", "Buffy: Y'know, I hear that look's in for spring. The camera closes in on the cheerleading trophy. Catherine's eyes are looking out and she's making muffled noises." ]

[ "Xander is smitten by the substitute biology teacher, Ms. French , who turns out to be a giant praying mantis terrifying enough to make vampires run for cover. Angel's warning gives Buffy a vital clue and she rescues the virgin male students-including Xander-chosen to fertilize the creature's eggs." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze. A girl is screaming. A vampire is advancing on Buffy as she backs into a pole. She throws a solid right to his face followed by a left. The vampire isn't fazed, and he grabs her and throws her onto a pool table. He leans over her to bite. Xander comes up behind the vampire, grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him off of Buffy.", "Xander: May I cut in? He bashes the vampire's head into the pool table, turns him around and punches him in the gut and the face. The vampire falls to the floor, unconscious. Buffy is impressed and gives him a big smile. Xander offers her his hand to help her off of the pool table.", "Xander: You alright?", "Buffy: (exhales) Thanks to you! She slides off of the table and notices Xander's hand.", "Buffy: You hurt your hand! Will you still be able to...", "Xander: ...finish my solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before? He gives her a wink and starts back to the stage. The vampire gets back up and growls at Buffy. Xander sees him, breaks the leg off of a chair that's been knocked over and throws the makeshift stake at the vampire. Buffy watches the stake fly into the vampire's chest, and he falls dead. She turns her gaze back on Xander. He jumps up onto stage and grabs his guitar to continue his solo. Buffy looks up at him adoringly and advances to the stage as he plays.", "Buffy: You're drooling. Xander gives her a confused look.", "Cut to science class. It's dark because Dr. Gregory is giving a slide show.", "Buffy: Xander! He wakes up from his daydream and shakes his head. Buffy indicates the corner of her mouth.", "Buffy: You've got a little... He picks up on her gesture and quickly wipes the drool off of his mouth and chin.", "Dr. Gregory: Their ancestors were here long before we were. Their progeny will be here long after we are gone. The simple and ubiquitous ant. He turns off the projector, turns the lights on and begins walking up the aisle.", "Dr. Gregory: Now. If you read the homework you should know the two ways that ants communicate. He stops at Xander's lab table and leans on it to face Buffy.", "Dr. Gregory: Miss Summers.", "Buffy: Ways that ants communicate.", "Dr. Gregory: (nodding his head) Mm.", "Buffy: With other ants.", "Dr. Gregory: From the homework. Willow tries to get Buffy's attention.", "Dr. Gregory: Ants are communicating...", "Buffy: (sees Willow's signals) Um, uh, uh... Willow strokes Xander's back, indicating 'touch'.", "Buffy: Touch...", "Dr. Gregory: (nodding) Mm-hm.", "Buffy: And, um... She looks at Willow again. She is sniffing Xander, indicating 'smell'.", "Buffy: (confused) B.O.? Several students laugh. Willow gives her a disappointed look.", "Blayne: Thank God someone finally found the courage to mention that!", "Dr. Gregory: That would be touch and smell, Miss Summers. Is there anything else Miss Rosenberg would like to tell you? Willow quickly turns away in her seat. The bell rings. Dr. Gregory starts to move back to the front of the class.", "Dr. Gregory: Alright, chapters six through eight by tomorrow, people. (stops and looks back at Buffy) Can I see you for a moment? Buffy nods. Cut to after the other students have left the room. Buffy leans against a lab table. Dr. Gregory idly reviews his slides.", "Dr. Gregory: I gather you had a few problems at your last school?", "Buffy: Well, what teenager doesn't?", "Dr. Gregory: Cut school, get in fights, burn down the gymnasium... Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record. He walks to the front of the class, and Buffy follows him.", "Buffy: Well, that fire, I mean, there was major extenuating circumstances. Actually, it's, uh, kinda funny!", "Dr. Gregory: Can't wait to see what you're gonna do *here*. He goes to the closet, gets his other glasses from his coat and cleans them.", "Buffy: Destructo Girl. That's me.", "Dr. Gregory: But I suspect it's gonna be great.", "Buffy: You mean, 'great' in a bad way?", "Dr. Gregory: (looks at her, then back at his glasses) You have a first- rate mind and you can think on your feet. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the...", "Buffy: ...the homework thing.", "Dr. Gregory: The homework thing. I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it. (closes the closet and walks back to his lab table) Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear?", "Buffy: Yeah! Sorry.", "Dr. Gregory: Don't be sorry, be smart. (looks at another slide) And please don't listen to the principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make 'em eat that permanent record. Whadaya say? He looks up at Buffy and gives her a little smile. She smiles back.", "Buffy: Okay! Thanks. He nods his head. She grabs her bag.", "Dr. Gregory: Chapters six through eight! Buffy looks back at him with a smile and leaves the classroom. Dr. Gregory puts the slide down, goes over to turn off the lights and comes back to his slide-viewing plate. While he concentrates on the slides, the closet door opens. Cut to a view of Dr. Gregory from the closet. The camera advances on him. Cut in front of him. He's concentrating on the slides. Cut behind him. A large, green mantis claw goes around his neck. Dr. Gregory looks up behind him and screams. The claw drags him off of his chair. His glasses hit the floor and break, and an instant later so does he. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. The live band is Superfine, playing \"Already Met You\". Xander dances lamely through the crowd.", "Lyrics: The first date's the worst date / It's hard to know just what to do / And I take you to dinner / You don't eat, you just play with your food Xander is on the dance floor and looks around. He makes his way to the stage and gives the singer an acknowledging nod and grin.", "Lyrics: And there's something familiar... The singer gives him a 'get outta here' look.", "Lyrics: About every word you say Xander is disappointed and moves away from the stage.", "Lyrics: It's hard to believe it's happened again / I already met you / And I already met you / You're like my last girlfriend / Yes, and the girlfriend I had before her Xander goes over to the bar where Blayne and his friend are sitting.", "Blayne: Seven, including Cheryl. I'll tell you, though, her sister was lookin' to make it eight!", "Boy: Ooo, Cheryl's sister? The one in college?", "Blayne: (nods) Home for the holidays and lookin' for love! She's not my type, though. Girls really gotta have something to go with me.", "Xander: (interrupting) Something like a lobotomy? The two boys look at him.", "Blayne: Xander. How many times you score?", "Xander: Well, uh...", "Blayne: It's just a question.", "Xander: Are we talking today, or the whole week? The two boys snicker. Xander spots Buffy and Willow coming down the stairs.", "Xander: Ooo! Duty calls! He leaves the bar and approaches the girls as Blayne and his friend watch.", "Xander: Babes! The girls look back at him. He comes up to them with his arms wide open and grabs them both around the shoulders.", "Buffy: What are you doing?", "Xander: (to Buffy) Work with me here. Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual.", "Willow: (throws her arms around him tightly) We'll show him! Xander looks back at Blayne, gives him a thumbs up and puts his arm back around Willow. The two boys seem impressed.", "Buffy: (distracted) I don't believe it.", "Xander: I know, and after all my conquests. Buffy sees Angel and goes over to him.", "Xander: Who's that?", "Willow: That must be Angel! I think?", "Xander: That weird guy that warned her about all the vampires?", "Willow: That's him, I'll bet you.", "Xander: Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff!", "Willow: You think he's buff?", "Xander: He's a very attractive man! How come that never came up?", "Cut to Angel. Buffy comes up to him.", "Buffy: Well! Look who's here!", "Angel: Hi.", "Buffy: I'd say it's nice to see you, but then we both know that's a big fib.", "Angel: I won't be long.", "Buffy: No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night. Right?", "Angel: You're cold.", "Buffy: You can take it.", "Angel: (takes off his jacket) I mean, you look cold. He puts his jacket around her shoulders. Cut to Willow and Xander.", "Xander: Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there!", "Cut to Buffy and Angel.", "Buffy: A little big on me. (notices a series of cuts on Angel's arm) What happened?", "Angel: I didn't pay attention.", "Buffy: To somebody with a big fork?", "Angel: He's coming.", "Buffy: The Fork Guy?", "Angel: Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out.", "Buffy: Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic!", "Angel: I have to go. (leaves)", "Buffy: (stares after him) Sweet dreams to you, too.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next morning. Buffy and Giles are walking along in front of the school. Giles is eating an apple.", "Giles: That's all he said? Fork Guy?", "Buffy: That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy.", "Giles: I think there are too many guys in your life. (laughs) They meet Willow sitting on a bench.", "Giles: I'll see what I can find out. (looks up at the sky) God, every day here is the same.", "Buffy: Bright, sunny, beautiful, how ever can we escape this torment? Willow gives her a smile. Buffy puts down her bag and sits down next to her.", "Giles: Really. Xander comes up behind Giles as he turns to leave.", "Giles: Good morning.", "Xander: Mornin'. (to the girls) Guess what I just heard in the office? No Dr. Gregory today. Ergo, those of us who blew off our science homework aren't as dumb as we look. He reaches down and flips Willow's book closed. She has to stop it from sliding off of her lap.", "Buffy: What happened, is he sick?", "Xander: They didn't say anything about sick, something about missing.", "Buffy: He's missing?", "Xander: Well, let me think. Um, the cheerleaders were modeling their new short skirts, that kinda got... Yeah! Yeah, they said missing. Willow and Buffy exchange a look.", "Xander: Which is bad?", "Buffy: If something's wrong, yeah!", "Willow: He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon.", "Xander: I'm really sorry, I'm sure he'll... He looks up and sees Miss Natalie French walking toward them.", "Xander: I, uh, huh... The girls look to see what's distracting him.", "Xander: Uh, huh... huh...", "Cut to a slow motion shot of Natalie walking. She comes right up to Xander, who just stares at her.", "Natalie: Could you help me?", "Xander: Uuuuuuhhhhhh... Yes! Willow and Buffy give each other amused looks.", "Natalie: I'm looking for Science... 109.", "Xander: Oh! It's, um... He looks around himself, trying to remember the way. He turns back to Natalie.", "Xander: (smiles) I go there every day! Natalie laughs.", "Xander: (looks to the girls for help) Oh, God, where is it? Willow and Buffy just shrug. Blayne appears behind Natalie and introduces himself.", "Blayne: Hi! Blayne Mall. I'm going there right now. It's not far from the varsity field where I took All-City last year. (smiles smugly)", "Natalie: Oh! Thank you, Blayne! She and Blayne leave. Xander's gaze follows them for a moment, and then he turns back to Willow and Buffy.", "Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to. The girls nod their heads and give each other a smile.", "Cut to science class. Natalie is writing her name on the board. Buffy, Willow and Xander walk in. Buffy spots Dr. Gregory's glasses on the floor and picks them up.", "Willow: What's wrong?", "Buffy: Dr. Gregory dropped his glasses... Why wouldn't he pick them up? She sets the glasses on the lab table and gives Natalie a glance as she walks to her stool. Natalie faces the class.", "Natalie: My name is Natalie French, and I will be substituting for Dr. Gregory.", "Buffy: Do you know when he's coming back?", "Natalie: No, I don't, um, (checks her roster) Buffy. They just call and tell me where they want me.", "Blayne: (in a low voice) I'll tell you where I want you.", "Natalie: Excuse me, Blayne?", "Blayne: Uh, I was just wondering if you were gonna pick up where Dr. Gregory left off.", "Natalie: (smiles) Yes. His notes tell me you were right in the middle of insect life. She picks up a mantis mounted in a clear plastic box.", "Natalie: The praying mantis is a fascinating creature. Forced to live alone. Who can tell me why? Buffy? She puts the mantis back down.", "Buffy: Well, the words 'bug-ugly' kinda spring to mind. There's lots of muffled laughter.", "Natalie: There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures. The reason they live alone is because they're cannibals!", "Buffy: Eww! Everyone in class looks disgusted.", "Natalie: Oh, well, it's hardly their fault! It's the way nature designed them: noble, solitary and prolific. Over 1800 species worldwide, and in nearly all of them the female is larger *and* more aggressive than the male.", "Blayne: (to Buffy) Nothing wrong with an aggressive female. Buffy angles her head and gives him a look. Natalie picks up her notebook and starts to walk around the room.", "Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate... She looks at Xander. He stares back.", "Natalie: ...to fertilize them. Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sack and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger. Now, if she's done her job correctly, in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring. She has made her way back to the front of the class and puts down her notebook.", "Natalie: You know, we should make some model egg sacks for the science fair. Who would like to help me do that after school? All the boys raise their hands.", "Natalie: (pleased) Good!", "Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy, Willow and Xander are in line.", "Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart.", "Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs.", "Xander: I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism. Willow raises her eyebrows at him. She turns to Buffy and they smile.", "Xander: Miss French. You two're probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man.", "Buffy: Oh, I understand.", "Xander: Good!", "Buffy: The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age, and too desperate to care about the surgical improvements!", "Xander: What surgical improvements?", "Willow: Well, he is young.", "Buffy: And so terribly innocent!", "Xander: Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't *laugh* at those who... can do. Blayne comes up next to Xander, getting lots of food.", "Blayne: Gotta carb up for my one-on-one with Miss French today. When's yours? Oh, right, tomorrow. You came in second, I came in first. Guess that's what they call natural selection. (leaves)", "Xander: Guess it's what they call a rehearsal! (to the girls) Rehearsal... (laughs lamely) The girls smile. Buffy goes over to get some utensils. As she walks back Cordelia comes in through the exit and bumps into her.", "Cordelia: (to Buffy) Excuse you! She goes behind the counter, showing a piece of paper to the cafeteria workers.", "Cordelia: Medically prescribed lunch. My doctor ships it daily... I'll only be here as long as I can hold my breath. She opens a refrigerator and screams. Inside is a headless body. Buffy and Willow run to see what's wrong. Cordelia backs away from the fridge.", "Cordelia: His head! His head! Oh, my God, where's his head?! Buffy and Willow arrive to see what's inside. Buffy stares in disbelief. Xander is close behind and has to look away when he sees. Willow looks squeamish. The name on the body's lab coat is 'Dr. Gregory'.", "Cut to the library. Giles pours a glass of water. He brings it over to Buffy, who is sitting on the steps with Willow. Both girls have deeply sad looks on their faces. Buffy has been crying.", "Giles: (hands the glass to Buffy) Here. Drink this.", "Buffy: (takes the glass) No, thank you. (takes a sip)", "Xander: (behind Giles) I've never seen... Giles looks back at Xander.", "Xander: I mean, I've never seen anything like... That was new.", "Willow: Who would wanna hurt Dr. Gregory?", "Giles: Uh, he didn't have any enemies on the staff that I'm aware of. He was a civilized man. I liked him.", "Buffy: So did I.", "Willow: (looks up at Giles) Well, we're gonna find out who did this. We'll find them and we'll stop them.", "Buffy: Count on it.", "Giles: What do we know?", "Buffy: Oh, not a lot, um... (sniffs and wipes a tear from her nose) He was killed here on campus. I'm guessing the last day we saw him.", "Giles: How do you work that out?", "Buffy: He didn't change his clothing.", "Xander: This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but... where did they put his head?", "Willow: Good point. I didn't wanna hear that.", "Buffy: Angel! (gets up) He warned me that something was coming. She takes another sip of water as she walks over to the table.", "Giles: Yes. Yes he did, didn't he? I wish I knew what he meant. I've been trying to gather more information about the Master, our, uh, local vampire king. There was one oblique reference to a, a, a vampire who displeased the Master and cut his hand off in penance.", "Buffy: Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork?", "Giles: I don't know what he replaced it with.", "Xander: So, why would he come after a teacher?", "Giles: I'm not certain he did. There was an incident two nights ago... He walks over to the counter, picks up a newspaper and returns with it.", "Giles: ...uh, involving a homeless person in Weatherly Park. He was practically shredded, but, uh, nothing like Dr. Gregory.", "Buffy: (looks at the paper) Fork Guy doesn't do heads.", "Giles: Not historically.", "Buffy: And Dr. Gregory's blood wasn't drained.", "Xander: So there's something else out there? Besides Silverwareman? Oh, this is fun, we're on monster island.", "Buffy: We're on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence. Guess it's the same thing. (walks toward Xander)", "Giles: Well, unpleasant things do gravitate here, it's true, but, uh, we don't know there's anything besides this chap. He's still our likely suspect.", "Buffy: Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park?", "Giles: Buffy. (advances toward her) I know you're upset, but, uh, this is no time to go hunting, not until we know more. Please promise me you won't do anything rash?", "Buffy: Cross my heart.", "Cut to the park at night. Buffy climbs the fence. She walks through the park, carefully looking around. A bum comes up to her.", "Bum: Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady. Dangerous. The bum leaves. She notices another bum on the ground in front of a bench, and she checks him out. He's okay, just asleep. Buffy continues stalking. Dogs bark in the distance. Buffy finds some shrubbery covering a sewer access hole. She moves it aside, and Fork Guy jumps out at her. She rushes backward. He swings with his claw, but misses. She slams her straight arm into his gut, then again into his back. He swings again, but Buffy dodges him. She backhand punches him in the face, does a roundhouse kick to his jaw and backhand punches his face again. He takes another swing at Buffy, but she evades it. She front kicks him. He lunges at her, and she grabs his arm and flips him over onto his back. Buffy tries to stake him, but he rolls away and back onto his feet. She kicks him again and he staggers backward and falls. Buffy hears voices and turns to see people with flashlights coming over the hill.", "Voices: Hold it! Police! Did you see that? I got nothing here! Buffy looks back and forth between Fork Guy and the posse. The vampire runs off.", "Voices: I heard it. Spread out. Let's go over here. This way, this way. Alright... Buffy makes tracks after the vampire.", "Cut to the fence at the edge of the park. Natalie is walking home on the other side with grocery bags in her arms. The vampire stalks her and climbs over the fence. Buffy comes running up. The vampire lands behind Natalie. Buffy reaches the fence and watches. Natalie senses the vampire, stops and turns to face him. The vampire hisses and runs away in fear. Natalie watches him go. Buffy can't believe what she's seeing. The vampire crosses the street, lifts a manhole cover and climbs down. Natalie continues her walk home. The vampire pulls the manhole cover back into place. Buffy just stares after Natalie. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High, the next morning. Cut to the library.", "Giles: You went hunting last night.", "Buffy: Yes. He walks into his office. She follows behind him.", "Giles: When you assured me you wouldn't. (takes a sip from his mug)", "Buffy: Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person, let's move on.", "Giles: (opens his file cabinet) Did you see someone with a fork?", "Buffy: More like a jumbo claw.", "Giles: (turns to face her) Oh. Well, uh, at least you're not hurt.", "Buffy: And I saw something else. Something much more interesting than your average run-of-the-mill killer vampire.", "Giles: Oh?", "Buffy: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?", "Giles: (smiles) Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a, a common, extremely well proportioned way. (puts some files away)", "Buffy: Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well Proportioned is heading home. The Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover.", "Giles: (confused) He what? Ran away?", "Buffy: He was petrified.", "Giles: Of Miss French?", "Buffy: Uh, huh! So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand... How many things am I afraid of?", "Giles: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule.", "Buffy: So what's her deal?", "Giles: I think perhaps it would be a good idea if we kept an eye on her.", "Buffy: Then I better get to class. She leaves the office.", "Cut to Buffy rushing down the stairs in the halls. She is stopped by Principal Flutie.", "Mr. Flutie: You were there. You saw Dr. Gregory, didn't you?", "Buffy: Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him...", "Mr. Flutie: Don't say dead! Or decapitated, or decomposing, I'd stay away from D-words altogether. But you witnessed the event, so this way, please. (starts down the hall)", "Buffy: (stops him short) Well, no, I'm gonna be late for biology...", "Mr. Flutie: Extremely late! (starts down the hall again) You have to see a counselor. Everyone who saw the body has to see a crisis counselor.", "Buffy: But I really don't need...", "Mr. Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, (jumps back) but not a real hug! Because there's no touching, this school is sensitive to wrong touching.", "Buffy: But, I really, really don't...", "Mr. Flutie: No, you have to talk to a counselor and start the healing. You have to heal.", "Buffy: But Mr. Flutie, I...", "Mr. Flutie: Heal! He sits her down in a chair outside of the counselor's office and paces off. Buffy leans back in the chair and looks bummed. Then she hears Cordelia inside the office.", "Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? (the camera pans over to show her inside) It really gets to you, a thing like that. (cut inside) It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know?", "Cut to Buffy. What she's hearing is just too weird.", "Cordelia: Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!", "Cut to science class. Natalie is giving a pop quiz, and is walking along the aisle.", "Natalie: Keep your eyes straight ahead on your own test. She comes up behind Xander.", "Natalie: (in a low voice) I think you meant 'pollination' for number fourteen. (puts her hand on his shoulder) I'll see you here after school.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes running to class and looks in through the door window.", "Buffy: Oh, great, a pop quiz. Cut inside. Natalie suddenly straightens up. Buffy looks in. She sees Natalie turn her head around 180 degrees. Her eyes go wide with amazement. She quickly rolls away from the window.", "Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow come in.", "Buffy: No, I'm not saying she craned her neck. We are talking full on Exorcist twist.", "Willow: Ouch!", "Buffy: Which reminds me, how come Blayne, who worked with her one-on- one yesterday, isn't here today?", "Willow: Inquiring minds wanna know.", "Buffy: (to Giles) Any luck? Willow sits down in front of the PC and begins a search.", "Giles: Um, I've not found any creature as yet that strikes terror in a vampire's heart.", "Buffy: Try looking under things that can turn their heads all the way around.", "Giles: Nothing human can do that.", "Buffy: No, nothing human. There are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her. She turns and hops up the stairs to the stacks. Giles takes off his glasses.", "Giles: What are you going to do?", "Buffy: (turns back to answer) My homework. She continues up into the stacks. Willow looks up at her and smiles, then continues her search. Buffy comes running back.", "Buffy: Where are the books on bugs?", "Cut to the science classroom. Natalie is at the desk spreading butter on a slice of bread. She's about to open a plastic container when she hears Xander come in and looks up.", "Xander: Hi!", "Natalie: Oh, Hi! I was just grabbing a snack. Can I fix you something?", "Xander: No thanks, I never... eat when I'm making egg sacks. (sees the model) Wow, if this were real the bugs would be...", "Natalie: ...as big as you!", "Xander: Yeah! So! Where do we start?", "Natalie: Oh, Xander! (gets up) I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me.", "Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name! Well, actually it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life. (laughs)", "Natalie: (laughs) I have a teacher's conference in half an hour, and I left the paint and papier-mache' at home. I don't suppose you'd like to come to my place tonight to work on it there?", "Xander: (swallows) Come to, uh... your place? He flashes to his guitar solo for a moment.", "Natalie: 7:30? Here's my address. (writes it down) Xander can't believe his luck.", "Natalie: (hands him her address) I'll see you tonight?", "Xander: (in a high, squeaky voice) Yeah!", "Cut to the hall. Xander comes out of the classroom.", "Xander: (pumping his fists into the air) Ooo, yes! Cut inside the classroom. Natalie opens the container now. It's full of crickets. She dumps them onto the buttered bread and folds the slice in half. She takes a bite. Crunchy!", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes out of the stacks with a book.", "Buffy: Dig this: 'The praying mantis can rotate its head 180 degrees while waiting for its next meal to walk by.' (slams the book shut) Ha! (silence) Well, c'mon, guys. Ha!", "Willow: Well, Miss French is sort of big. For a bug?", "Giles: And she is, by and large, woman shaped.", "Buffy: (makes her way down to them) Okay. Factoid 1: Only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid 2: A pretty whacked-out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid 3: Her fashion sense screams predator.", "Willow: It's the shoulder pads.", "Buffy: Exactly.", "Giles: If you're right, then she'd have to be a shape shifter or a perception distorter. On a helpful note, I had a chum at Oxford, Carlyle, advanced degrees in entomology mythology.", "Buffy: Entomawho?", "Giles: Bugs and fairy tales.", "Buffy: I knew that.", "Giles: If I recall correctly, poor old Carlyle, just before he went mad, claimed there was some beast...", "Willow: (the PC beeps) Buffy, 911! Blayne's mom called the school. He never came home last night.", "Giles: The boy who worked with Miss French yesterday?", "Willow: Yeah! If Miss French is responsible for... Xander's supposed to be helping her right now! He's got a crush on a giant insect!", "Buffy: Okay, don't panic, I'll warn him. But I need you to hack onto the coroner's office for me.", "Willow: Well, what are we looking for?", "Buffy: Autopsy on Dr. Gregory. I've been trying to figures out these marks that I saw on his corpse... I'm thinking they were teeth. And, uh, these cuddlies? (points to a picture of a mantis) Should definitely be brushing after every meal. (Willow types) (to Giles) And you were saying something about a beast?", "Giles: (gets up to go to his office) Oh, uh, yeah, I just need to make one transatlantic telephone call. (stops and turns back) Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one, one assumes it is entirely legal? Willow and Buffy answer simultaneously.", "Willow: Entirely!", "Buffy: Of course!", "Giles: Right. Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you.", "Buffy: Good idea. Cut outside. Buffy catches up with Xander.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Xander: Hey!", "Buffy: So, how'd it go with Miss French?", "Xander: Well, it's a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I'll muddle through.", "Buffy: Xander, she's not what she seems.", "Xander: I know, she's so much more.", "Buffy: Okay, um... I'm gonna have to tell you something about her, and I'm gonna need you to really listen, okay?", "Xander: Okay.", "Buffy: I don't think she's human.", "Xander: I see. So if she's not human she's...", "Buffy: Technically? A big bug. Xander laughs.", "Buffy: This sounds really weird, I'm aware of that...", "Xander: It doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand. I've met someone, and you're jealous.", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: Look, there's nothing I can do about it. Uh, there's just this certain chemical thing between Miss French and me.", "Buffy: I know, I read all about it, it's call, um, a pheromone. It's a chemical attractant that insects give off.", "Xander: She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway?", "Buffy: What does that have to do with...", "Xander: Nothing! It just kinda bugs me. Look, I really gotta... He walks off. Buffy turns and watches him go.", "Buffy: Wha...?", "Cut to Natalie's house that night. She pours two martinis. Her dress shows lots of cleavage. The doorbell rings. She smiles and goes to open it.", "Natalie: Hi! Come on in! Xander stares at her cleavage as he comes in.", "Natalie: Should I change? Is, is this too... (she closes the door)", "Xander: No, no, it's, the most beautiful chest... dress I've ever seen. She smiles and goes back into the living room. Xander follows.", "Natalie: Thank you. That's sweet. Martini? (offers him one) Oh, I'm sorry, would you like something else? Xander quickly accepts the drink.", "Natalie: (laughs) I just need to relax a little, I'm kinda nervous around you. (she sits down) You're probably cool as a cucumber!", "Xander: (sits down) I like cucumbers. Like in that Greek salad thing with the yogurt. Do you like Greek food? I'm exempting Schwarma, of course, I mean, what's that all about? It's a big meat hive. They laugh, he nervously, she playfully. Xander gulps the martini.", "Xander: Hhhhhhho! Hello!", "Natalie: Cheers! (clinks their glasses) Can I ask you a personal question? She puts her glass down and gets closer to Xander.", "Natalie: Have you ever been with a woman before?", "Xander: You mean, like, in, uh, the same room?", "Natalie: You know what I mean.", "Xander: Oh, that, uh... Well, let me think. Um... Natalie runs her fingers though his hair and around his ear.", "Xander: Yeah, there was, uh... several! She continues her stroke down to Xander's chin.", "Xander: I mean, and, uh, quite a few times... And then there was, uh... Oh, she was incredibly... No. Uh-uh.", "Natalie: I know. I can tell.", "Xander: You can?", "Natalie: Oh, I like it. You might say, I... *need* it.", "Xander: Oh! Well, needs should, uh, y'know... Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day, or... Muffled yelling can be heard from somewhere.", "Xander: Do you hear...", "Natalie: No...", "Xander: Sounds like someone crying...", "Natalie: I don't hear anything. (takes his hand) Your hands are so hot! Xander flashes to his dream.", "Buffy: Oh, you hurt your hand! Xander comes back. The drink is beginning to affect him. He leans back on the couch.", "Xander: Buffy. I love Buffy. Wow! So that's a martini, huh?", "Natalie: Mm-hm.", "Xander: (sits back up) Do you hear...", "Natalie: (interrupting) Would you like to touch me with those hands?", "Xander: (looks at Natalie's hands) Your hands are sss... really... (her hands morph) serrated! Oh, wow, that martini, I... I really think I have to... Xander falls to the floor unconscious. Two mantis claws drag him away by his feet.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. The camera pans down from the window above the stairs to Xander. He's lying unconscious in a cage. There are squishing noises. Xander wakes up, looks around, grabs the bars and pulls himself up. He sees Natalie as a giant mantis preparing her nest.", "Xander: Miss... French?", "Natalie: Please, call me Natalie. Xander backs away into the cage.", "Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone.", "Giles: Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death!", "Cut to Willow typing.", "Willow: Got it! Coroner's report, complete with... Yuk! ...color pictures.", "Buffy: There *are* teeth marks. Which match perfectly the one insect that nips off its prey's head.", "Willow: Okay, I-I don't like this.", "Buffy: Huh! It's the way they feed, head first. It's also the way they mate. The female bites off the male's head while they're...", "Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile...", "Buffy: Hey, hey, take it easy, Willow. Xander is not in any immediate danger. I saw him leave school. He's probably safe at home right now.", "Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander backs up in his cage and is surprised by Blayne when he reaches the far corner.", "Xander: Ah! Blayne!", "Blayne: (terrified) Oh, God! Oh, God!", "Xander: Are you all right?", "Blayne: Oh, God! (breathes) You gotta get me outta here! You gotta! She, she, she gets you, and, uh...", "Xander: What?", "Blayne: ...she, she...", "Xander: What does she do?", "Blayne: Oh, God! Oh, oh, no!", "Xander: Blayne! What does she do?", "Blayne: She, she... she, she takes you outta the cage, and she ties you up, and, and... she... she starts movin', and throbbin', and these eggs come shootin' out of her! And then...", "Xander: What?", "Blayne: And then...", "Xander: Then what?", "Blayne: She mates with you!", "Xander: Sheeee...", "Blayne: That's not the worst part!", "Xander: That's not?", "Blayne: You seen her teeth? Right while she's, you know, right in the middle of... I saw her do it! I don't wanna die like that!", "Xander: Blayne! Blayne! Chill! It's okay. It's gonna be okay. We'll get outta this.", "Blayne: (hopeful) You gotta plan? What is it?", "Xander: Just, uh, let me perfect it!", "Blayne: (gives up hope) Oh, God... Oh, God... Oh, God...", "Cut to the library. Giles is talking with Carlyle on the phone in his office.", "Giles: I-I understand, Carlyle. Yes... I-I'll take every precaution. Uh, absolutely, i-i-it sounds exactly like the creature you described. Y-you were right all along about everything. Well, n-no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a pekinese, but... uh... Try to rest, old man. Yes... Ta! Bye now! He hangs up and comes out of his office. Willow and Buffy are at the PC.", "Giles: Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost pre-Germanic language. What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswolds. Then he went hunting for it.", "Buffy: It being...", "Giles: Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis. This type of creature, the Kleptes-Virgo, or, or virgin-thief, appears in, in many cultures. The Greek sirens, the Celtic sea maidens, who, who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um...", "Buffy: Giles, while we're young!", "Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest.", "Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh... I mean, he's probably...", "Willow: (quickly gets up, worried) ...gonna die! (goes to the phone)", "Buffy: Okay, okay, (walks around Giles) so this thing is breeding and we need to find it and snuff it. (faces Giles) Any tips on the snuffing part?", "Giles: Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade. Willow is on the phone in the background behind Buffy talking to Xander's mom.", "Buffy: Slice and Dice.", "Giles: Well, whatever you do, it had better be certain and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous.", "Buffy: Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around.", "Giles: Yes, in a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night.", "Buffy: Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops!", "Giles: Sorry...", "Willow: (off the phone now) Xander's not home! He told his mom he was going to his teacher's house to work on a science project. He didn't tell her where.", "Buffy: (to Willow) See if you can get her address off the substitute rolls. (to Giles) And you need to record bat sonar, and fast!", "Giles: Bat sonar, right. What?", "Buffy: Bats eat them. (leads Giles to the stairs) The mantis hears sonar, its entire nervous system goes kaplooey.", "Giles: Where am I gonna find the...", "Buffy: In the vid library? There're no books, but it's dark and musty, you'll feel right at home, go! (exhales) (to herself) I guess I'll handle the armory.", "Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander and Blayne are in their cages. Xander is working on one of the bars.", "Blayne: Don't do anything to make her mad! Xander pulls the bar out.", "Blayne: (brightens) Hey, alright, now I can get outta my cage! (bummed) Into yours, what'd you do that for?", "Xander: A weapon!", "Blayne: (sees Natalie coming) I think you're gonna need it. Xander looks up and is startled. He drops the bar.", "Cut to the library. Miss French's record is coming out of the printer. Buffy comes in the door.", "Willow: Getting the address.", "Buffy: Great! Giles?", "Giles: (holding a tape recorder) Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled.", "Buffy: (takes the tape recorder) Let's roll! They all head for the door.", "Willow: According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907. She's, like, 90 years old!", "Giles: And extremely well preserved!", "Cut to Natalie's basement. She is looking back and forth between the boys.", "Blayne: Oh, God! (goes through the hole into Xander's cage) Uh, he did that, he broke the cage, take him, not me, take him!", "Cut to Giles, Buffy and Willow driving up to Miss French's house. They get out and run up to the door.", "Giles: What now, exactly? We can't just kick the door down.", "Buffy: Yeah, that *would* be wrong. She gets ready to kick, but the door opens. An old lady is there.", "Miss French: Hello, dear! I thought I heard... Are you selling something? Because I'd like to help you out, but... You see, I'm on a fixed income.", "Buffy: I'm looking for Miss French.", "Miss French: I'm Miss French.", "Buffy: Natalie French, the substitute biology teacher?", "Miss French: (laughs) Goodness, that's me! I taught for over thirty years. I retired in 1972.", "Buffy: (to Giles) I can't believe this! She used Miss French's records to get into the school. She could be anywhere!", "Miss French: No, dear! I'm right here!", "Cut to Natalie's basement.", "Xander: What's she doing?", "Blayne: I think it's eeny, meeny, miney...", "Xander: Moe? The camera closes in on Xander's terrified face. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. She opens the door to the cage. Xander crawls out on his butt, bar in hand.", "Xander: I'm comin', I'm comin'. When he's just out of the cage he swings the bar and hits Natalie as he gets up. She staggers. He runs for the stairs. Halfway up Natalie trips him with her claw, and he tumbles back down the stairs.", "Cut to Miss French's house. Giles, Willow and Buffy are going back to the car.", "Willow: What do we do now?", "Giles: Abject prayer and supplication would spring to mind.", "Buffy: I saw her walking past this park with her grocery bags. She lives in this neighborhood.", "Willow: I'm gonna start banging on doors. (heads for the next house)", "Buffy: (stops Willow) Wait, no, we do *not* have time for that!", "Willow: We have to do something!", "Buffy: We will.", "Cut to the manhole cover where Buffy saw Claw Guy go in. Buffy lifts it off and starts to climb in.", "Buffy: I won't be long. (goes down)", "Giles: W... Buffy?", "Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander is tied up with leather straps. Natalie is in his face.", "Blayne: Oh, yeah, here it comes!", "Xander: What? What's happening?!", "Blayne: How do you like your eggs, bro, over easy or sunny side up?", "Xander: Eggs? She's gonna lay some... He sees her lay some eggs. He flashes to Natalie's lecture in science class.", "Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate to fertilize them. His flashback is over, and he's scared.", "Cut to the manhole.", "Willow: (into the hole) Come on, Buffy!", "Cut to some bushes. There are sounds of Claw Guy swinging his arm and ropes whipping through the air. Buffy pushes Claw Guy out of the bushes. His arms are tied behind his back.", "Claw Guy: You!", "Buffy: Me! She shoves him down the street. Cut to Natalie's street. Buffy is pushing Claw Guy down the sidewalk in front of her. Giles and Willow follow.", "Buffy: Come on! Come on, where is she? Which house is it? I know you're afraid of her, I saw you! Come on! Claw Guy begins to react to Natalie's presence.", "Buffy: Come on. What? What is it? This is her, isn't it, this is her house? This is it! Better than radar! She lets go of him. Claw Guy cuts the ropes with his blades.", "Willow: Buffy! He swings at Buffy, but she leans back in time, only to trip and fall backward over the miniature picket fence running along the walk to the house. Claw Guy jumps to follow. She crawls backward on her butt until she hits the fence on the other side of the lawn. She rips a picket from the fence and thrusts it into Claw Guy as he takes another swing at her. He falls over dead. Giles breathes a sigh of relief.", "Cut to the basement. Natalie advances on Xander.", "Natalie: Kiss me! (laughs) Kiss me!", "Xander: Can I just say one thing? HEEEELLLLP! HEEEELLLLP! Buffy smashes the basement window and slides in.", "Blayne: Uh, hey, o-over here, hello! In the cage! She pulls her bag though the window.", "Buffy: (to Natalie) Let him go! She runs down the stairs and sets the bag down. Willow climbs in the window, too. Buffy pulls two cans of insect spray from the bag and sprays Natalie in the face. Giles climbs in as Willow runs behind Buffy to open the cage. The spray disorients Natalie. Giles comes down the stairs now too. Buffy points him at Xander.", "Blayne: Help me! Help me!", "Buffy: (to Giles) Get them outta here! She pulls the tape recorder and a machete from her bag.", "Blayne: Hey, help me! Help me! Giles undoes the leather straps holding Xander. Natalie retreats to the back of her nest. Buffy starts to close in on her.", "Buffy: Remember Dr. Gregory? You scarfed his head? Yeah, well, he taught me, you do your homework, you learn stuff. Like what happens to your nervous system when you hear this! She plays the tape. It's Giles' voice. Buffy stares at the machine in disbelief.", "Tape: ...extremely important to file not simply alphabetically...", "Buffy: (back to Giles) Giles!", "Giles: (on the floor pointing at Natalie) I-it's the wrong side! Natalie knocks the tape recorder and machete from Buffy's hands. Giles watches the recorder fly over him, hit the ground and slide under a refrigerator. He scrambles to get it. Buffy turns her attention back on Natalie. Natalie tries to trip Buffy, but she jumps over her claw. Xander comes up next to her with a can of bug spray and sprays it into Natalie's face. Buffy pushes him away from danger, and Natalie takes the opportunity to knock her down. Buffy raises herself onto her hands and one leg, and with the other does two crouching side kicks to Natalie's legs to keep her at bay. Giles searches under the refrigerator. Buffy kicks again. She sees the machete on the floor and grabs it. Giles has the recorder now, jumps around on the floor with the recorder in front of him and plays the tape. The sounds of bat sonar severely hurt and disorient Natalie. She flails her claws around." ]

[ "Buffy's love life is looking up when she goes on a date with the normal Owen, but when Owen nearly gets killed during Buffy's battle to save Giles and the others from the Master's vampires, she decides that \"normal\" dating might be too dangerous after all." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery. Buffy is fighting a vampire. She kicks him in the face with a high roundhouse kick, forcing him to step backward to keep his balance. The vampire does a jumping half twisting crescent kick, which Buffy ducks. He tries two punches, and Buffy neatly blocks them. On his third punch she grabs hold of his arm and hits him in the face with a high front snap kick. Letting go of the vampire's arm, Buffy punches him squarely in the midsection and follows up with a swinging punch to his face, sending him to the ground.", "Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. (pulls out a stake) I'm Buffy, and you're history! She plunges the stake into him as he gets up. He falls and bursts into ashes.", "Giles: (pops up from behind a crypt) Poor technique. (comes around to her) Prioritizing sub par... Execution was adequate, but a bit too bloody for my taste.", "Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my *pleasure* to make the world safe for humanity again.", "Giles: I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y- you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge, and move on. Plunge and... Hello. (bends over to pick up a ring with his pen)", "Buffy: (sees the ring) Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their stuff. (Giles gives her a look) What is it?", "Giles: I don't know.", "Buffy: But it bothers you.", "Giles: Yes! Well, I... I thought this vampire was just on a random kill, but it may be something else.", "Buffy: Something big?", "Giles: Yes. I'd best consult my books.", "Cut to the Master's lair. He slams a book down on the podium, opens it and reads.", "Master: 'And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be. (picks up the book and walks) 'Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny.' (stops by one of the brethren) As it is written, so shall it be. 'And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate.' Oh, wait. (grabs one of the brethren by the throat) That's not written anywhere. (he lifts the vampire from his feet) The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you... (throws the vampire into a coffin) Here endeth the lesson. He slams the book shut and walks off. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy is sitting on the table and studying the ring. Giles makes his way down to her from the stacks while leafing through a book.", "Giles: That symbol on the ring... I believe it's the rune for fidelity, but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied.", "Buffy: What about this? (shows him the ring) On the inside. It's a sun and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere?", "Giles: Let me see. (takes the ring and looks closely) No, I-I don't think this, um, represents any...", "Buffy: (looks in a book) Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuch, check these guys out. (hands Giles the open book) Told you it looked familiar.", "Giles: Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right.", "Buffy: Ooo, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score! Owen comes into the library and approaches them.", "Buffy: Oh! (slides off the table) Owen! Hi!", "Giles: (looks up at Owen) What do you want?", "Owen: A book?", "Giles: Oh!", "Buffy: (to Giles) See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.", "Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.", "Owen: I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket.", "Buffy: I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more... So! Emily Dickens, huh? She's great!", "Owen: Dickinson.", "Buffy: She's good also.", "Giles: (points at the stacks) Poetry.", "Owen: (to Buffy) I didn't think I'd find you here. (goes up the stairs)", "Buffy: (follows Owen) W... Why not?", "Owen: I, I didn't mean... I mean... I think you can read.", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Owen: But you don't seem bookwormy. (finds his book) The type of person to lock themselves in a dark room with a lotta musty old books. (looks up from the book) Oh, and I've offended you.", "Buffy: No! No, I'm just surprised you gave any thought to what I'm like.", "Owen: You shouldn't be. (starts back down)", "Buffy: (follows again) Oh, well, I *love* books. I mean, I really *love* books. Owen sees the book they were consulting earlier on the table and heads over there to take a look.", "Owen: What's this?", "Buffy: (gets between him and the book) Not this one.", "Giles: (picks the book up) This one she doesn't love. He walks around Buffy, takes Owen's book and heads to the checkout station.", "Giles: Oh, Emily Dickinson.", "Buffy: We're both fans.", "Giles: Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a... (takes Owen's library card)", "Buffy: A girl?", "Giles: For an American. (scans the book and library card)", "Owen: (to Buffy) I'll, uh, see you in math... if I open my eyes at some point. (takes the card and book from Giles)", "Buffy: Cool... Owen leaves. Buffy stares after him.", "Giles: The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If they're here, it's for a good reason.", "Buffy: That was Owen!", "Giles: Yes, I remember.", "Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one.", "Giles: (exasperated) Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand.", "Buffy: Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires. (looks down at her dress) Oh. (looks inquisitively at Giles) Does this outfit make me look fat?", "Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy and Willow are paying for lunch.", "Willow: Owen Thurman was talking to you?", "Buffy: It's all true.", "Willow: Wow! He hardly talks to anyone. He's solitary, mysterious... He can brood for forty minutes straight, I've clocked him.", "Buffy: He was so nice, it was eerie.", "Willow: What did you guys have to talk about?", "Buffy: (heads for a table) Emily Dickinson.", "Willow: (follows) He reads Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive, yet manly! (Buffy sets down her tray) Well, wait, you've never even read her. Buffy pulls out the book and sets it down for Willow to see.", "Willow: You Vixen! (they both sit)", "Xander: (holds up his fork) Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is?", "Buffy: Hmm, I'm avoiding the subject.", "Xander: I think it's kale, or possibly string cheese. (lets the fork drop) So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?", "Buffy: (gives him a stern look) Xander!", "Xander: I mean, how'd the *laying* go? (gets another look from Buffy) No, I don't mean that either.", "Buffy: It went fine, thank you. There's some new hoidy-toidy vampire sect in town.", "Willow: That's bad.", "Xander: Well, hey, they're bringing in the much needed tourist dollars. (sees Owen) Ooo, look at Mr. Excitement.", "Buffy: Owen! He's all alone! Maybe somebody should sit with him.", "Willow: Mm, just to be polite! (Buffy gets up) Good luck!", "Xander: (to Willow) Okay, what just happened? Buffy walks over to Owen's table. Cordelia is coming over, too, from another direction.", "Cordelia: Look, an empty seat! (bumps Buffy)", "Buffy: (spills her tray) Ooo! Ew...", "Owen: Let me get that. (bends down)", "Buffy: Thanks! (crouches) Boy! Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought!", "Cordelia: (sarcastically) Eh, heh!", "Owen: At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green.", "Cordelia: (trying to get attention) Owen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. You there?", "Owen: Who's all going?", "Cordelia: Well, um, I'm gonna be there.", "Owen: Who else?", "Cordelia: You mean besides me?", "Owen: (to Buffy) Buffy, what about you?", "Buffy: What?", "Cordelia: No, no, no! She, uh, she doesn't like fun.", "Owen: How 'bout we meet there at eight?", "Buffy: Yeah! Eight! There! She puts her empty tray on top of Cordelia's.", "Cut to the halls. Buffy and Willow come in through the doors.", "Buffy: It's not that big a deal. It's just a bunch of people getting together.", "Willow: It's a very big deal!", "Buffy: It's not!", "Willow: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her!", "Giles: I'm afraid it's very big.", "Willow: (smiles at Buffy) Thank you! (turns back to Giles, confused) Wait! They follow Giles into the library. Cut into the library.", "Willow: What are you talking about?", "Giles: What are *you* talking about?", "Buffy and Willow: Boys!", "Giles: Yes, well, I'm talking about trouble. A violent and disturbing prophecy is about to be fulfilled.", "Buffy: The Order of Aurelius.", "Giles: You were spot on about the connection. (walks over to the table) I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed.", "Willow: Who's that?", "Giles: Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus.", "Buffy: Well, we'll be ready whenever it is.", "Giles: Which is tonight.", "Buffy: (takes in the information) Tonight, okay... (realizes the conflict) Not okay! It can't be tonight!", "Giles: My calculations are precise.", "Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!", "Willow: Buffy has a really important date.", "Buffy: Owen!", "Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.", "Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.", "Giles: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master.", "Buffy: But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!", "Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle!", "Cut to the graveyard. Giles and Buffy are sitting on a large gravestone.", "Giles: (sniffs) Perhaps I miscalculated.", "Buffy: I'm thinking yes. (sucks her drink dry)", "Giles: Well, you know what they say. 90% of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting.", "Buffy: You couldn't have told me that 90% ago?", "Giles: Well, we, we've certainly waited here long enough. (gets up)", "Buffy: Besides, there aren't any fresh graves. Who's gonna rise?", "Giles: Apparently no one tonight.", "Buffy: (jumps up) Then I can bail? I can go to the Bronze and find Owen?", "Giles: Oh, very well then. Follow your hormones if you want. (Buffy hops down and starts to go) But I assume I don't have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who's unaware of your unique condition.", "Buffy: Yeah, yeah, I read the back of the box.", "Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.", "Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!' (gets a look from Giles) Good night. (leaves)", "Giles: 'Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.' I was sure it was tonight.", "Cut to a bus. The passengers ride in silence.", "Collin: (to Andrew) I went on an airplane.", "Andrew: A pale horse emerged with death as its rider. You will be judged. You will be judged.", "Cut to the Bronze. Buffy goes in and looks around for Owen. \"Rotten Apple\" by Three Day Wheely is playing on the sound system.", "Lyrics: ...is real / Then you wake up shouting some familiar name / It's not the same Buffy sees Owen dancing with Cordelia. She looks on, crushed by the sight of them together.", "Lyrics: You're just a girl / Just a girl who knows no shame / Whose desperate pace has lost its taste / A never-ending darkness weighs / I can't avoid, I can't complain / I know exactly who's to blame / The girl who shares my...", "Cut to the bus. Andrew has gotten up and stands in the aisle.", "Andrew: That day's gonna bring fire. Fire comin' down! Judgment! (to Collin and his mom) Don't think you're ready, ready to look upon him. If there's sin in there, there's sin all around. It's a liquid. On that day there won't be anybody tellin' us what to do or why we're doin' it. You can't prepare. On that day...", "Driver: (to Andrew) Hey, you gotta sit down. Okay?", "Andrew: Are you willing to stand with the righteous? One of the brethren steps in front of the bus. The driver hits the brakes and slams into the vampire. The van begins to swerve, runs through a sign and hits a pole, which brings it to a stop.", "Driver: (looks back at the passengers) Is everyone okay? The passengers look at each other. They all seem shaken but okay. The driver gets out to check the victim.", "Driver: (to victim) Are you all right? (kneels down beside him) Can you move? The vampire grabs him by the throat and begins choking him. Another one punches through a window, grabs Andrew by the throat, pulls him out and bites him. The vampires all climb into the bus to get the other people. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the school halls at Buffy's locker. She slams it shut and leans on it.", "Xander: So you just went home?", "Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?'", "Xander: (weighs options with his hands) Or flat tire?", "Buffy: (starts walking) I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster. (to a passing student) What? Yeah, that's right, I have no life, c'mon, nothin' to see here, pal, move it along!", "Cut to a different part of the hall.", "Xander: You're acting a little overly, aren't you? I mean, you could have any guy in school.", "Buffy: He's not any guy. He's more... Oweny.", "Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to find. (they reach his locker) I mean, a lotta guys read. (with a goofy smile) I can read. Buffy is leaning on the lockers looking down when she notices Owen come up to her.", "Owen: Hey, Buffy!", "Buffy: Owen!", "Xander: Oh, look, it's Owen. (gets a look from Buffy) Buffy and Owen. And Xander. That'd be me.", "Owen: W-where were you last night?", "Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was...", "Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch. He hands her his gold pocket watch and chain. Xander looks at the watch in wide-eyed amazement. Buffy accepts it.", "Buffy: Tonight? Y-you and me? Xander looks at his Tweety wristwatch.", "Owen: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they start fights...", "Buffy: Oh, no, it's just... Well, I... sort of heard that... you and Cordelia were... somewhat... all over each other. A little...", "Owen: I danced with her a couple of times. (with a look of distaste) She's kinda grabby.", "Buffy: Oh, well, let's see, if I rearrange that, and I push that to n... Sure! Tonight'll work!", "Owen: Great! I'll pick you up at seven?", "Buffy: Um, seven!", "Owen: That's when the little hand's (points on the pocket watch) there.", "Buffy: Oh! Between the six and the eight.", "Owen: Um, I'll see you then! (leaves)", "Buffy: (watches him go) Tonight! Isn't that so?", "Xander: What?", "Buffy: Me and Owen! (walks off)", "Xander: (feeling down) Yeah, so it is. (closes his locker) It sure is so.", "Cut to Giles' office. He has a headache from researching and is just sitting down to have some tea. Buffy barges in.", "Buffy: Hey, how's it going?", "Giles: Uh, alright.", "Buffy: That's great! I see we're still working on that Anointed One problem, that'll probably take you a few days, right? I mean, that's one obscure prophecy...", "Giles: Well, yes, there are a few interpretations...", "Buffy: So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, no big disasters coming, that is *so* good, I will see you tomorrow then! Bye! (leaves quickly)", "Giles: She is the strangest girl.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Master: You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to freeing myself from this... mystical prison. (feels his confines) I've been trapped down here so long I've nearly forgotten what it's like on the surface. Well, there'll be time enough to remember... when I rule it! If she tries to stop you, kill her. Give your own lives, but do not fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me. (quickly grabs a bug from the air) Bug!", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's wearing her bathrobe, and Willow is helping her decide on an outfit.", "Willow: Pick!", "Buffy: (to Xander) Okay, (Willow holds up one minidress) do I wanna appear shy, coy and naive or (Willow holds up the other) unrestrained, insatiable and aggressive?", "Xander: (watching from the bed) Uh, y'know, Owen is a little home spun, he probably doesn't like that overly assertive look. (goes to her closet) Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap! (holds them up to her) The ear flaps will bring out your eyes! Buffy and Willow exchange a look.", "Buffy: Maybe I should mix and match. (Willow nods) Okay, guy's opinion. (grabs two lipsticks from her desk) Which one do you think Owen will like better? (holds them up) The red or the peach?", "Xander: Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your back? The red's fine.", "Buffy: Thanks. I'll go with the peach. (puts on the lipstick)", "Willow: (hands Buffy a third minidress) Here, put this on. Buffy and Willow look at Xander.", "Xander: You're not bothering me! Willow sighs and pushes him away.", "Willow: (to Buffy) So, where's he taking you?", "Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days? (unties her bathrobe) Xander goes over to her drawer chest and tries to angle the mirror inside a box so he can see.", "Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies.", "Buffy: (finishes pulling on the minidress) Movies! Interesting!", "Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party.", "Buffy: (pulls on a boot) Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities! (pulls on the other boot) Xander fumbles with the box. Buffy and Willow look over at him. The door bell rings.", "Buffy: That's Owen!", "Cut to Buffy opening the door.", "Buffy: That's Giles.", "Giles: We need to talk.", "Buffy: Buffy's not home. (tries to close the door)", "Giles: (pushes the door open and comes in) My calculations may not have been as far off as I thought. (holds up a newspaper)", "Buffy: (reads) 'Five Die in Van Accident'?", "Giles: Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one. That's the prophecy. Five people have died!", "Buffy: In a car crash.", "Giles: I know it doesn't quite follow, but, but it's worth investigating. Look! Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police sought for questioning in a double murder. Now, he may be the Anointed One. The, the bodies have been taken to, to Sunnydale Funeral Home, w-we can...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Giles, why do you wanna hurt me?", "Giles: I beg your pardon?", "Owen: (shows up at the open door) Hey! (comes in) Uh, hi!", "Giles: You have a date.", "Buffy: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow.", "Giles: Wait, you're not getting off that easily.", "Owen: Man, you really care about your work!", "Willow: (thinking quickly) Uh, Owen?", "Xander: Yeah, a couple of things about tonight. Willow and Xander lead Owen into the living room.", "Giles: Another date? Don't you ever do anything else?", "Buffy: This is the first date! There's never been a date, okay? This is my maiden voyage!", "Cut to the next room.", "Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance?", "Xander: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched.", "Willow: Xander...", "Xander: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her. Cut back to the foyer.", "Buffy: We don't even know if this is anything.", "Giles: No, we don't.", "Buffy: And I haven't had a day off in a while.", "Giles: True...", "Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer!", "Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is problematic at best.", "Buffy: This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date.", "Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead...", "Buffy: (pleased) Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.", "Owen: (comes back) Is everything cool?", "Buffy: All set.", "Giles: Yes, and, uh, you'll face a pretty hefty fine in the morning.", "Buffy: Well, bye. Don't wait up. (leaves quickly with Owen)", "Willow: Is something going on?", "Giles: Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up. (leaves)", "Willow: (to Xander, concerned) This is bad.", "Xander: I wish it was just bad.", "Willow: We should... go along.", "Xander: Yeah, you're right. I don't trust that Owen guy. It's the eyes. Crazy!", "Willow: Xander, we should go with Giles! He could get in trouble!", "Xander: Oh, he's gone, uh, it's, he's gonna be alright. He's like super librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon.", "Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing tonight. They begin with \"Strong\". Owen and Buffy are sitting at a table talking.", "Lyrics: I'll be right along / 'Cause, baby, you're so strong", "Owen: The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is, is she's just so incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death... It gets me. With a lot about bees, for some reason.", "Buffy: Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees?", "Owen: Quiet. Kind of sequestered and uneventful. Which I can really relate to. I... don't get out much.", "Buffy: I don't get that.", "Owen: It's my fault. I just find most girls pretty frivolous. I mean, there's a lot more important things in life than dating, y'know? (Buffy looks down at her beeper) Oh. Did I say something wrong?", "Buffy: Uh, no! Come on. She leads Owen to the dance floor.", "Lyrics: Baby, baby, I know it's always been so / Physical love is, oh, so meaningful for you Buffy and Owen dance close.", "Owen: It's weird.", "Buffy: What is?", "Owen: You! One minute you're right there. I've got you figured. The next, it's like you're two people.", "Buffy: Really? Which one do you like better?", "Owen: I'll let you know.", "Lyrics: So strong / Baby, I'm yours / You know / Because you're so / So strong", "Cut to Cordelia entering the Bronze with some of her friends. She sees Buffy with Owen.", "Cordelia: Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? (walks over to Buffy and Owen) Owen! Look at you, here all alone...", "Lyrics: You're so, so strong", "Owen: Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy.", "Cordelia: Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance?", "Owen: No, I'm still here with Buffy.", "Cordelia: You are so good to help the needy.", "Buffy: Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away.", "Cordelia: (gives Buffy a look) (to Owen) Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know. (leaves)", "Lyrics: You would suffer, suffer for me", "Cut to the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles drives up in his ancient car. It's quiet. He gets out, slings his bag over his shoulder and starts around his car to the building. The night is creepy, and he has a look around. He continues toward the building, but stops short when he senses something. He looks around again to his right. Nothing. As he turn back he sees one of the brethren in front of him. He starts to back away, but another one is behind him.", "Giles: Damn!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In front of the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles is caught between two of the brethren of the Order of Aurelius. He pulls a cross from his bag and holds it up to them. They cower away in pain. Giles makes a dash for the building. Cut inside. Giles looks around and puts his cross back into his bag. He runs to the flower room door and finds it locked. The brethren come into the building after him.", "Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing a new song, \"Treason\".", "Lyrics: I have a window in my mind / I can turn to look right through you", "Owen: Are you, uh, having fun?", "Buffy: Yeah. I almost feel like a girl.", "Lyrics: Won't cost you anything but time / To see me feel like you do They smile at each other and continue to dance.", "Cut to the funeral home. Giles finds the door to the morgue unlocked and rushes in. He slams the door behind him and looks around. He grabs a filing cabinet, tilts it and drags it over to block the door. It works, the brethren can't readily open it. Giles looks around for a way out. The windows are barred. He sees Willow and Xander through the bars.", "Giles: (startled) AH!", "Willow: (Willow and Xander raise the window sash) Giles, it's us!", "Giles: What are you doing here?", "Xander: We saw two guys going in after you. Are they...", "Giles: (looks at the door) They are! (looks back) Uh, listen, you should get to safety.", "Willow: Can you get out this window?", "Giles: (tests the bars) I'm afraid not.", "Xander: Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for Buffy?", "Giles: Uh, she has her, her... beeping thing! (looks around) Um, no phone, of course.", "Xander: Look, we'll get her, just, uh, hang in there. (Willow and Xander leave)", "Giles: (worried) Do hurry.", "Cut to the Bronze. Owen and Buffy are standing by the stairs.", "Owen: Do you want something to eat?", "Buffy: Sure. Just make it something fattening.", "Cordelia: (looking on from the shadows by a door) What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean, I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh! The door opens and Angel comes in.", "Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! (to her friend) Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him. She starts to follow Angel, but stops when she sees him go over to Buffy.", "Angel: Buffy.", "Buffy: Angel.", "Cordelia: Why is this happening to me?", "Angel: (to Buffy) I was hoping I'd find you here.", "Buffy: You were?", "Angel: Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there.", "Buffy: No, not you, too. (tries to leave)", "Angel: (stops her) What do you know?", "Buffy: Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada...", "Angel: So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you.", "Buffy: Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? (walks around him and faces Owen) He came here to be with me.", "Angel: You're here on a date?", "Buffy: (turns to Angel) Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone?", "Owen: (returns) Here you go.", "Buffy: Oh. (looks between Angel and Owen) Um, Owen, this is Angel. Angel, this is Owen. (puts her arm around him) Who is my date.", "Angel: Hey.", "Owen: Hey! So. Where do you know Buffy from?", "Angel: Work.", "Owen: (to Buffy) You work? Willow and Xander come running up out of breath.", "Willow: Buffy!", "Owen: Look at this! You show up everywhere. Interesting.", "Xander: (points at Owen) You don't know the half of it. (points at Angel) What's he doing here?", "Angel: I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here.", "Buffy: Uh, excuse me, what are any of you doing here?", "Xander: Look, we gotta get to, uh... (Willow kicks him) Uhhhh. We thought it'd be fun if, uh, we made this a double date! Willow and Xander put their arms around each other.", "Buffy: I didn't know you guys were seeing each other.", "Willow: Oh, yeah, well, we knew it would happen eventually, so we figured, hey! Why fight it?", "Owen: And you guys are thinking double?", "Xander: 'Cause of... (laughs nervously) ...the fun!", "Owen: (to Angel) And you're here because of work?", "Xander: Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together.", "Buffy: Gee, that's so nice of you to ask, but Owen and I were, well, sort of... Owen and I.", "Xander: You know what'd be cool? The Sunnydale Funeral Home!", "Willow: (emphasizing) I've always wanted to go there!", "Buffy: The funeral home?", "Owen: Actually, that sounds kinda cool! Do you think we could all sneak in?", "Xander: We saw some guys in there before. They seemed to be (to Buffy) having fun!", "Buffy: (to herself) Bite me! She looks up at Angel. He gives her an 'I told you so' look.", "Buffy: (exhales) (to Owen) Um, Owen, I gotta go.", "Owen: I thought we were going to the funeral home.", "Buffy: No, you can't. I'll tell you what. I'll be back in a little while.", "Owen: Buffy... (leads her away) What's the deal? Do you wanna bail on me?", "Buffy: No! No... no... uh... You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise. Owen just nods his head and watches her go. She comes back and lays a kiss on him. Then she really leaves with Willow and Xander close behind.", "Owen: (to Angel) She's the strangest girl!", "Cut to the funeral home. Everything seems quiet. Buffy, Willow and Xander come in through the front door.", "Buffy: Which way?", "Willow: The room's around back. They go off to their left. Around a corner they hit a dead end.", "Buffy: Damn it!", "Owen: (appears behind them) This is so cool!", "Buffy: Uh, Owen! You can't be here!", "Owen: Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed? What are we doin' here? Are we gonna see a dead body?", "Buffy: Possibly several. (to Xander and Willow) Guys, watch him. (runs back the way they came)", "Owen: Is she mad?", "Willow: Oh, she just wants to make sure there're no guards so we don't get in trouble.", "Owen: Good thinking.", "Xander: (to Willow) Good thinking. They start after Buffy. Cut to Buffy quietly walking down the hall, looking and listening. She finds the morgue door open and goes in. The place is a shambles.", "Buffy: Giles? His bag is on the autopsy gurney. The window bars are torn open. She finds his cross. Suddenly one of the doors to a body storage drawer opens in front of her and the drawer rolls out. Buffy jumps back, startled.", "Buffy: Giles!", "Giles: It is you. Oh, good.", "Buffy: What happened?", "Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them.", "Buffy: Meaning...?", "Giles: I hid. Uh, this, uh, chap was good enough to bunk with me till they went away. (he jumps down off of the cadaver)", "Buffy: Well, w-were they here after you, or w-was it that prophecy thing?", "Giles: Ah, well, that's what we have to find out. I don't know what these brethren mean to do exactly. Find the Anointed, or, or, or, or give him something perhaps, uh, it's all, all very vague! And the Anointed may be long gone!", "Buffy: But he may not be.", "Giles: We must find out.", "Buffy: Okay, I just need to get Owen and the others out of harm's way first.", "Giles: Owen? You brought a date?", "Buffy: (exhales) I didn't bring him, he came.", "Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time.", "Buffy: I know. I'll get rid of him. (starts to leave)", "Giles: Y-you can't make him go out there alone, we don't know where the brethren are. I-I'll just...", "Buffy: No! No, Giles, he sees you, he's gonna have more questions than he already does right now. I'll take care of it. She runs out into the hall and looks around for the others. They come around a corner and see her.", "Willow: Is everything okay?", "Buffy: It is.", "Xander: And we'll be leaving?", "Owen: We're not done lookin' around yet!", "Buffy: No, he's right. So let's find a nice, safe, fun room to look around in. She takes Owen's hand and leads the group down the hall. They reach the office door.", "Owen: We tried the office here, but it's locked.", "Buffy: (breaks the lock) No it's not! (goes in)", "Owen: Well, I don't think we'll find much in here.", "Buffy: (looks around) That's the plan.", "Owen: Okay. (confused) What?", "Buffy: (finished looking) I have to go now. (laughs nervously) Um, to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet. (to Willow and Xander) And barricade the door. She goes out into the hall again and looks around on her way back to the morgue. Xander closes the office door.", "Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles start looking through the body drawers hoping to find the Anointed One.", "Buffy: (opens one) Ewww, parts!", "Giles: Keep looking, he must be here somewhere.", "Cut to the office. Willow and Xander start to pile furniture in front of the office door.", "Owen: What are you guys doing?", "Willow: Uh, just in case! Owen sees a curtain and draws it open. Behind the window he sees a body covered with a sheet.", "Owen: Oh, my! Willow and Xander turn around to look.", "Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles are still looking. There's only one storage cell left. Giles opens it quickly and Buffy pulls out the drawer. It's empty.", "Buffy: Nothing.", "Giles: The Anointed must be gone.", "Buffy: I guess. I mean, this is where they keep all the dead bodies, right?", "Giles: Mm-hm.", "Cut to the office. Owen is looking at the body with fascination. Willow and Xander look worried.", "Owen: I read a lot about death, but... but I've... never really seen a dead body before. The body's hand moves.", "Owen: Do they... usually move? The hand moves again. Willow and Xander approach to have a closer look. The hand reaches up and pulls the sheet off. Andrew sits up and faces them. He is a vampire now. He stands up, looks down at himself and flexes his hands. He looks back up at them.", "Andrew: I have been judged! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The mortuary office.", "Owen: What's goin' on? They back away from the window slowly. Andrew approaches the window and smashes it with his forehead. Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles hear the window being smashed.", "Buffy: Oh, no! She starts running to the office. Cut to the office.", "Andrew: (laughs) He is risen in me! He fills my head with song! Owen, Willow and Xander frantically begin moving the furniture away from the door. Andrew steps through the opening.", "Andrew: Pork and beans. Pork and beans!", "Xander: (to Willow) Gimme that!", "Andrew: I can smell you. They get the furniture moved. Willow opens the door and they run out. Andrew follows at a quick walk.", "Andrew: You're the chaff, unblessed. I'll suck the blood from your hearts, he says I may!", "Cut to the hall. Buffy meets them running down the hall.", "Xander: He's in there!", "Buffy: Uh, go! Get out!", "Xander: She'll be okay. C'mon! They continue running. Buffy tries to find Andrew. She can hear him singing as he comes down the hall toward her.", "Andrew: Shall we gather at the river? / The beautiful, the beautiful river? She decides to try to head him off another way. Xander, Willow and Owen find the exit, but are blocked by the brethren. Willow screams. Xander pulls her around and behind himself. Instead of attacking, the brethren close the gates. The hall is empty, but they can hear Andrew singing.", "Willow: I think he's coming this way! They run and find themselves at the same dead end as when they first got there.", "Owen: Oh, God, this is too much!", "Cut to the morgue. Giles is still there. Buffy rushes in.", "Buffy: What've you got?", "Giles: What?", "Buffy: What'd you bring? Do you have a stake?", "Giles: Oh, uh... (hands her a stake.)", "Buffy: Thank you! (starts back out the door)", "Giles: W-what should I do?", "Buffy: (faces Giles) Um, go outside and make sure the others are okay. Andrew comes up behind Buffy, grabs her and throws her into a cabinet. She hits the floor unconscious. Giles rushes to her aid.", "Giles: Buffy!", "Cut to the hall.", "Owen: Somebody's gotta help Buffy!", "Willow: Owen! Owen starts to run to the morgue. Willow and Xander follow. Cut to the morgue. Buffy is awake again, but still on the floor. Andrew approaches Giles.", "Andrew: They told me about you while I was sleeping. Giles holds up his cross. It is painful to Andrew.", "Andrew: Uh! Why does he hurt me? He slaps Giles' hand away, and the cross goes flying. He grabs Giles and throws him into the crematory controls. The fires in the chamber light. Giles falls unconscious. Andrew bends down to pick Buffy up. Owen comes running in.", "Owen: Buffy! Andrew raises her above his head.", "Owen: No! He grabs a tray and swings it into Andrew's back, stunning him. His knees buckle and he lets go of Buffy. She staggers into an open body drawer door and falls down unconscious. Andrew turns, grabs Owen by the neck and growls as he moves in to bite. Owen grabs an urn from a shelf and smashes it over Andrew's head. He falls. Owen goes over to help Buffy. She wakes up again and tries to get up.", "Owen: Did you see that? He tried to bite me! (helps Buffy up) What a sissy! Andrew gets back up, grabs Owen and smashes a body drawer door into the back of his head, knocking him out.", "Buffy: No!", "Andrew: Dead! (lets Owen fall) He was found wanting! Buffy gets him solidly in the gut with a front snap kick. He rolls over the autopsy gurney and onto the floor. She runs around to the far end of the gurney. Andrew quickly gets up. She pushes the gurney into his gut, and then pushes down on her end so it pivots up to hit him in the chin. He staggers back and falls. She jumps up onto the gurney and does a roundoff onto the floor as he gets up. He swings widely at Buffy's face, but she blocks it. He tries again with his other arm, hitting Buffy solidly in the face and knocking her to the ground. He taunts her as she quickly gets up.", "Buffy: You killed my date! Willow and Xander appear at the door. Willow sees Owen wake up as Buffy and Andrew fight.", "Willow: Buffy! Owen's...", "Xander: (pulls Willow back) J-just give her a sec! Buffy blocks another punch, and then hits Andrew in the face with an open-hand punch. Blocking a second punch from him, she hits him in the gut with another open-hand punch. As he leans forward from the pain, she knees him in the gut, and then shoves him backward into a counter.", "Buffy: You killed my date! Giles regains consciousness. Andrew turns back to Buffy.", "Andrew: Your turn! He lunges at Buffy, but she sidesteps him and uses his forward momentum to launch him into the air. He lands on the gurney, and it rolls over to the crematory. The gurney stops when it hits, but Andrew continues to slide through the open door. Giles kicks the gurney away and slams the crematory door shut. Andrew screams. Buffy watches him burn through the small window. Then she notices Owen trying to sit up.", "Owen: Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty?", "Buffy: (goes to Owen) Owen! (crouches beside him)", "Owen: What happened to that guy?", "Buffy: Oh... We scared him away.", "Owen: Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've...", "Buffy: I know. Here... (helps him up) I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date.", "Owen: (rubs his head) Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben & Jerry's.", "Buffy: We still could...", "Owen: No, I, I, I think I'll just walk home. (starts to go, but stops) Uh, which way's home?", "Buffy: I'll get you there.", "Owen: No, I'll, I'll go it alone. Willow and Xander come over.", "Xander: We'll make sure he gets home safely. They lead Owen away. Buffy watches them go. Giles comes over behind her.", "Giles: Buffy, if I might, uh...", "Buffy: (cuts him off) Don't! (slowly walks out)", "Cut to the school. Buffy, Xander and Willow are walking along the balcony.", "Buffy: Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home?", "Willow: Oh, you mean specifically about you?", "Buffy: Or generally... i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of indication? They round the corner and start down the stairs.", "Xander: Well, in that case, no.", "Willow: But he was pretty incoherent, so we might've missed it.", "Buffy: You think?", "Xander: No.", "Buffy: I knew it. I totally blew it last night!", "Xander: No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, 'Hey! I like that girl!' Someone like...", "Buffy: (sees Owen) Owen!", "Willow: Well, heh... This is our stop. She walks around Buffy and drags Xander away with her.", "Owen: Hi.", "Buffy: Hi. (long awkward pause) This is going well.", "Owen: I don't really know how to say this, but... about last night...", "Buffy: You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out.", "Owen: Totally. (Buffy looks down) And... I was wondering when I could see you again.", "Buffy: (looks back up) Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat that?", "Owen: I think you're the coolest!", "Buffy: (smiles) Really?", "Owen: I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so... alive!", "Buffy: (looks down and starts to walk) So that's why you wanna be with me.", "Owen: (follows her) Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again?", "Buffy: Something like...", "Owen: Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight?", "Buffy: Tonight would... (they stop walking) be... not a workable thing. Did I just say that?", "Owen: Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week.", "Buffy: I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me.", "Owen: (beginning to get it) Right. It's you.", "Buffy: And I was kinda hoping that... maybe you and I could still be...", "Owen: (very disappointed) I, I get it. You just wanna be friends.", "Buffy: That'd be nice.", "Owen: Friends. Yeah. Great. (leaves)", "Lyrics: The world will keep on turning / It'll all be there come morning / So tonight...", "Buffy: Yeah. Great.", "Lyrics: Let the sun fall down all around you (song by Kim Richey) Giles comes up behind her. They watch Owen leave. Buffy notices Giles and looks at him. He's at a loss. She goes over to sit on a bench. Giles follows her.", "Giles: I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher. (sits next to her) He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next.", "Buffy: Were you thrilled beyond all measure?", "Giles: No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer, well, uh... My father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice.", "Buffy: Sacrifice, huh?", "Giles: (looks toward Owen) Seems like a nice lad.", "Buffy: Yeah. But he wants to be danger man. You, Xander, Willow, you guys... you guys know the score, you're careful. Two days in my world and Owen really would get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed. (faces Giles) Or someone else.", "Giles: I, I went to the funeral home of my own free will.", "Buffy: And I should've been there.", "Giles: Buffy...", "Buffy: I blew it!", "Giles: I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I must say, as a Slayer, you're, you're doing... pretty well.", "Buffy: (smiles) Well. At least I did stop that prophecy thing from coming true.", "Giles: You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself. He smiles. Buffy laughs back.", "Cut to the Master in his Lair.", "Master: (quotes scripture) 'And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.' (kneels down next to Collin) Welcome, my friend." ]

[ "At the zoo, Xander and four other students sneak into the off-limits hyena habitat and become infected by an evil demon spirit. Xander and his pack grow more and more feral until Buffy, Giles, and Willow reverse the spell." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Sunnydale Zoo. A sign points to the reptiles, elephants and the Hyena House. The camera pans down from the sign to Buffy walking along the path by herself. Kyle and his gang see her coming.", "Kyle: Oh, look. It's Buffy and all her friends.", "Buffy: That's a witty.", "Tor: Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?", "Buffy: Just thankful.", "Rhonda: Were you this popular at your old school? Before you got kicked out? The group laughs, and they continue on their way, leaving Buffy standing there alone.", "Tor: (to Buffy as they leave) Careful! She might beat you up!", "Cut to the elephants. Buffy is reading the plaque when Xander and Willow come running up.", "Xander: Hey! Buffy!", "Willow: You missed it!", "Buffy: Missed what?", "Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! (nods to Willow) Thank you, very exciting...", "Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!", "Buffy: And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.", "(begins walking)", "Willow: (follows) Where were you?", "Buffy: Uh, I was looking at the fishes.", "Willow: Was it cool?", "Buffy: It was fishes.", "Xander: I'm feelin' that you're not in the field trip spirit here.", "Buffy: Well, it would... It's nothing, I... We do the same zoo trip at my old school every year. Same old, same old.", "Xander: Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals.", "This is about not being in class!", "Buffy: (brightens) You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new.", "Xander: Gotta have perspective.", "Cut to the monkeys. Lance is sketching them into his notebook. Kyle and his cronies approach him.", "Kyle: Lance! How's it goin'?", "Lance: Hey, Kyle.", "Kyle: So, is this like a, uh, family reunion?", "Lance: No.", "Kyle: I think it's a family reunion. It's so... touching. Doesn't anybody have a camera? (makes a sudden photo-taking gesture) Whapish!", "Rhonda: (behind Lance) Hey, does your mom still pick out your lice, or are you old enough to do that yourself now?", "Lance: Quit it, huh? (Tor takes his notebook) Hey! Guys, c'mon! It's got my notes in there!", "Mr. Flutie: (sees the commotion) What's going on here? I've had it up to here with you four! What're you doing?", "Kyle: Nothing.", "Mr. Flutie: Did I ask you to speak? Okay, I guess I did, but I want the truth. Lance?", "Lance: They weren't doing anything. Really! (lets out a nervous laugh) We were just playin' around.", "Mr. Flutie: Alright. (starts away, but turns back) I'll be watching you. (leaves)", "Kyle: (points at Lance) You! Came through big time.", "Rhonda: Way to go, Lance!", "Tor: Flutie's been looking for a reason to come down on us.", "Lance: It's okay.", "Kyle: Come on, we're gonna check out the Hyena House.", "Lance: But I think it's off-limits.", "Kyle: And therein, my friend, lies the fun. Lance laughs, and they all go off toward the Hyena House.", "Cut to the Hyena House. It's closed, but they duck underneath the tape. Buffy, Willow and Xander see them go in.", "Willow: What are Kyle and his buds doing with Lance?", "Xander: Oh, playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse.", "Buffy: What is it with those guys?", "Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.", "Xander: Well, every school has 'em. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.", "Buffy: Yeah, well, I'd better extract Lance before...", "Xander: (interrupts) I'll handle it. This job doesn't require actual slaying. (goes in)", "Buffy: You don't think we should follow?", "Willow: Kyle and those guys are jerks, but they're all talk. Mostly.", "Buffy: Why don't we...", "Willow: Yeah, why don't we? They duck under the tape and start in, but are caught in the act by a zookeeper.", "Zookeeper: Oh, hold it, hold it, are you blind, or are you just illiterate? Because hyenas are very quick to prey on the weak.", "Buffy: Oh, w-we were just gonna take...", "Zookeeper: You're not going in there. Anyone that does is in a world of trouble.", "Willow: No, no one's going in there. (she and Buffy come back out)", "Buffy: Why is it off-limits?", "Zookeeper: It's a quarantine. These hyenas just came in from Africa, so keep out. Even if they call your name.", "Buffy: What are you talking about?", "Zookeeper: The Masai tribesmen told me that hyenas are capable of understanding human speech. They follow humans around by day, learning their names. At night, when the campfire dies, they call out to a person. Once they separate him, the pack (snaps his fingers) devours them. Cut inside the Hyena House. Kyle and the others tear through more tape blocking the way in and look around.", "Kyle: Cool! He and the girls walk up to the enclosure and look in. Lance stays back with Tor behind him.", "Lance: I don't see any hyenas. One of the hyenas growls and shows itself between some rocks.", "Lance: Okay! Now we've seen it. He tries to leave, but Tor stops him.", "Rhonda: Looks cute.", "Kyle: I think it looks hungry. (moves toward Lance) He and Tor grab Lance.", "Lance: No!", "Tor: C'mon, Spot!", "Lance: C'mon, stop it!", "Tor: Supper time! They drag him up the steps and lift him up to the bars.", "Lance: Guys! Stop! It's not funny! They press him into the bars and down on his neck.", "Lance: Ow! Stop it! It's not funny! Xander comes in, pulls their arms off of him and helps him away.", "Xander: (to Kyle) Why don't you pick on somebody your own species?", "Kyle: What, are *you* gonna get in my face? The hyenas growl. Xander, Kyle and the others look at them. The hyena's eyes flash green, and then two of the kid's eyes do. The hyena's eyes flash green again, and two more kid's eyes do. Cut to a shot from above of the sacred circle painted on the floor. Cut to Lance. He makes an anxious move to get away, but trips on a chair and falls. His notebook skids across the floor to the far wall. Kyle and the others turn and laugh when they see him. Lance gets up, retrieves his notebook and rushes out. Xander turns around now, too, and his eyes flash green. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Cut inside. Willow and Buffy are coming from the bar. Buffy has a drink and a croissant. They make their way over to an empty table.", "Willow: I thought Xander would be here by now.", "Buffy: Hmm, that'd make him on time. We couldn't have that!", "Willow: Did he seem upset at all on the bus back from the zoo?", "Buffy: About what?", "Willow: I dunno. He was quiet.", "Buffy: I didn't notice anything. (they sit) But then again I'm not as hyperaware of him as, oh, say, for example, you.", "Willow: Hyperaware?", "Buffy: Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...", "Willow: 130 over 80!", "Buffy: (amused) You got it bad, girl!", "Willow: He makes my head go tingly. You know what I mean?", "Buffy: I dimly recall.", "Willow: But it hasn't happened to you lately?", "Buffy: Not of late.", "Willow: Not even for a dangerous and mysterious older man whose leather jacket you're wearing right now?", "Buffy: (in mock annoyance) Goes with the shoes!", "Willow: Come on, Angel pushes your buttons. You know he does.", "Buffy: I suppose some girls might find him good looking... (gets a look from Willow) ...if they have eyes, alright, he's a honey, but... it's just he's never around, and when he is all he wants to do is talk about vampires, and... I, I just can't have a relationship...", "Willow: (sees Xander) There he is!", "Buffy: Angel?", "Willow: Xander! He walks into the club and checks out a girl on the way. She stares after him. He comes up to their table.", "Xander: Girls!", "Buffy: Boy!", "Xander: Sorry I'm late, I... just forgot that we were gonna be here.", "(sees Buffy's croissant) Hungry! (tears a piece off and eats it)", "Willow: Xander, you still want me to help you with geometry tomorrow?", "(Xander takes a swig of Buffy's drink) We can work after class...", "Xander: (give Willow a thumbs-up) Yeah. (to Buffy) What is this crap?", "Buffy: Well, it *was* my buttery croissant.", "Xander: Man, I need some food! Birds live on this! Buffy and Willow look at each other and then at Xander. He looks back and forth at them.", "Xander: What?", "Buffy: What's up with you?", "Willow: Is something wrong? Did I do something?", "Xander: (to Willow) What could you possibly do? That's crazy talk. I'm just... restless.", "Willow: Well, we could go to the ice cream place...", "Xander: (points to the table) I like it here. He looks up and scans the area a bit, and then leans toward Buffy and sniffs her hair.", "Buffy: Okay, now what?", "Xander: You took a bath.", "Buffy: Yeah, I-I often do, I'm actually known for it.", "Xander: That's okay. Willow and Buffy exchange another look.", "Buffy: And the weird behavior award goes to... Xander sees Kyle and the others come in. Buffy sees them, too. \"Reluctant Man\", by Sprung Monkey, starts to play.", "Lyrics: Oh, Reluctant Man", "Buffy: Oh, great. It's the winged monkeys. Kyle and company come over to them.", "Lyrics: Who's afraid to touch the world / Why are you hiding? / What is the base of all your fears? Xander stares back at them.", "Lyrics: Do you find yourself in a cold cruel world Kyle stops at their table, and he and Xander stare each other down.", "Lyrics: Dark and desperate, scared and lonely? They go around to another table that's occupied.", "Lyrics: Selfish Man / Who never gave to no one else / What are you holding? / Is it worth the price you pay?", "Kyle: (to the boy at the table) Y'know, I don't understand why you're sitting at our table.", "Lyrics: 'Cause your eyes they see just what you want to see", "Rhonda: Yeah, shouldn't you be hovering over the football stadium with 'Goodyear' written on you?", "Lyrics: And I hope they're not staring blindly at me They all laugh. Xander was watching and laughs also as he turns back to Buffy. He stops laughing when he sees she doesn't think it's funny.", "Xander: Kid's fat.", "Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Giles is wearing protective gear while Buffy trains on him. She does a roundhouse kick followed by a high punch and a swinging middle punch to Giles' gloved hands. She continues, doing a full spin and finishing with a backhand punch. She does a full spinning jumping high wheel kick followed by a right middle punch, a high roundhouse kick and a front snap kick. Then she jumps high and does a twin straddle kick. She lands back on her feet and moves in to attack again, when Giles suddenly jumps back.", "Giles: Right! (Buffy stops short) That's enough training for one day.", "Buffy: Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again?", "Giles: (out of breath) No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along to class. (Buffy goes) (to himself) While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms.", "Cut to the halls. Herbert the mascot has gotten loose. The students in the hall are startled and try to get away. Mr. Flutie chases the pig.", "Mr. Flutie: Look out! It's gotten loose! The camera dodges the students' legs from Herbert's point of view. Buffy comes around the corner, reacts quickly to catch him and picks him up.", "Mr. Flutie: Lordy, Herbert! Gave Mr. Flutie quite a scare, didn't he? Students, I'd like you all to met Herbert, our new mascot for the Sunnydale High Razorbacks! The students all clap.", "Buffy: He's so cute!", "Mr. Flutie: He's not cute. No! He's a fierce Razorback! (more clapping)", "Buffy: He doesn't look mean, Mr. Flutie.", "Mr. Flutie: He's mean, he's ready for action! See? (indicates Herbert's helmet with foam tusks) Here are the tusks... (gestures at a piece of serrated green foam tied to Herbert's back) the scary Razorback!", "Buffy: You're right. He's a fine mascot and will engender school spirit.", "Mr. Flutie: Uh, he better. Costs a fortune to feed him. (to Herbert) Alright, let's get you back into your cage. Herbert squeals when Buffy wants to hand him to Mr. Flutie.", "Mr. Flutie: (points behind himself) This way. Cut outside to Willow helping Xander with his geometry.", "Xander: I'm not getting this.", "Willow: It's simple, really. See, 'The bisector of a vertex is the line that divides the angle at that vertex into two equal parts.'", "Xander: It's like a big blur, all these numbers and angles.", "Willow: It's the same stuff from last week. You had it down then.", "Xander: Why do I need to learn this?", "Willow: 'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?", "Xander: Explain the part where that's bad. (rubs the bridge of his nose)", "Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this. (Xander rubs his right temple) Do you have a headache? (reaches up to him)", "Xander: (shakes her off) Yeah, and I think I know what's causing it. (throws his geometry book into the trash) Ah! That's better, it goes right to the source of the pain.", "Willow: Xander...", "Xander: Look, forget it, okay? I don't get it. I won't ever. (gets up) I don't care. He throws his math notebook into Willow's lap and leaves in a huff.", "Willow: (watches Xander go) We can finish this another time.", "Cut to the halls. Buffy follows Mr. Flutie to the faculty room with Herbert in her arms. They stop outside.", "Mr. Flutie: See, the problem is you kids today have no school spirit. Hold on, let me get his outfit off. (removes it) Today it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity. (Buffy gives him a look) I don't have cable, I only heard. When I was your age we cared about the school's reputation and the football team's record, all that stuff! Of course, when I was your age I was surrounded by old guys telling me how much better things were when they were *my* age. (goes into the faculty room)", "Buffy: (to Herbert) Yeah! Xander comes into the hall from outside. Herbert squeals and reacts to his presence as he walks by. Buffy looks confused as she watches Xander pass, and tries to keep Herbert from jumping out of her arms. Cut outside. Lightning strikes. Cut to the gym.", "Coach Harrold: Alright, it's raining, all regular gym classes have been postponed, so you know what that means: (holds up a large rubber ball) dodgeball! Now, for those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: you dodge. He tosses the ball to Buffy. He blows his whistle, and the two groups move back from center court. He whistles again and the ball throwing commences. Xander nails his first victim. Buffy and the pack members easily dodge the balls. The coach enjoys the game from the sidelines. Xander nails another victim. The coach continues to watch. Buffy throws a ball and hits her mark. Xander throws again and nails Willow hard on the back. She gives him a hurt and confused look as she walks off of the court. Xander catches a ball as he watches Willow go, but soon continues the game. Willow sits down, crosses her arms and keeps looking at him. A few seconds later just the pack and Lance are left on one side, Buffy on the other. The pack looks at her, then focuses on Lance. He falls to the floor and cowers as they each throw their ball at him hard. Buffy runs over and helps Lance up. She stares at Xander. He stares back. She watches as he and the others leave.", "Coach Harrold: God, this game is brutal. I love it!", "Cut to the halls. Willow is waiting for Xander, and goes up to him when he comes from the other hall with the pack.", "Willow: Xander... What's wrong with you? He looks at the others briefly and pulls Willow aside.", "Xander: I guess you've noticed that I've been different around you lately.", "Willow: Yes.", "Xander: I think, um... I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing. Buffy comes around the corner to her locker and sees them. She works the combination.", "Xander: And, well, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something. Willow looks at him expectantly.", "Xander: I've, um... I've decided to drop geometry. So I won't be needing your math help anymore. Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again. He and the others laugh. Willow is crushed. She turns and leaves. Buffy watches her quickly walk by. She slams her locker and approaches Xander with her arms crossed. He stops laughing.", "Buffy: You gonna say something to me? Xander just looks at her and starts laughing again more loudly. He goes back to the pack, and they leave. Buffy goes after Willow. Cut outside. The pack walks along. Xander stops and sniffs the air.", "Xander: Dogs!", "Kyle: Where? Xander leads them to a group of three boys sitting at a table.", "Boy#1: You're out of your mind, that's no way to play guitar.", "Boy#2: What are you talking about?", "Boy#1: I mean, that's just hunt and peck!", "Boy#2: It's not!", "Boy#1: (the pack arrives) Hey, Xander, you've heard Wretched Refuse play, what do you think of the guy who plays lead? Tor reaches for Boy#1's hotdog. Heidi takes Boy#2's hotdog.", "Boy#1: Hey. Hey, what are you guys...", "Rhonda: Shut up.", "Kyle: You're sharing.", "Xander: Friends like to share. (to Tor and Heidi) Good?", "Tor: It's too well-done. He throws the rest of the hotdog back on Boy#1's lunch, Heidi back on Boy#2's.", "Boy#1: Hey! That is not cool. Xander sniffs the air again and looks in the scent's direction. He leads them off. Kyle climbs onto the table and stomps the boys' lunches.", "Boy#1: Hey!", "Cut to the faculty room. They all come in. Xander inhales deeply through his nose. The other two boys go to close the blinds. They all approach the cage. Xander bends down to look at Herbert.", "Xander: Let's do lunch. The pig becomes nervous and squeals. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside at school. Xander and the pack come walking up some stairs in slow motion. Several students stare at them as they walk by. \"Job's Eyes\", by Far, plays as the background music.", "Lyrics: I'm sure this rain won't last / I'm sure its time is up / Though it's pouring down Lance walks by and just stops in front of them. They look at him and Xander sniffs him, but they keep walking right by him.", "Lyrics: I'm sure this rain won't last / And it falls on Job's eyes / This water of doubt / And I'm wading in lies / It's wearing me out / But if you want it, alright / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll... Xander notices Buffy and Willow sitting and talking on the balcony above. His hearing has become sensitive and he overhears.", "Willow: I've known him my whole life, Buffy.", "Cut to the girls.", "Willow: (tears in her eyes) Well, we haven't always been close, but he's never... (exhales)", "Buffy: I think something's wrong with him.", "Willow: Or maybe there's something wrong with me.", "Buffy: What are you talking about?", "Willow: C'mon. He's not picking on you. He's just sniffing you a lot. I don't know, maybe three isn't company anymore.", "Buffy: You think this has something to do with me?", "Willow: Of course.", "Buffy: No. That still doesn't explain why he's hanging out with the dode patrol. (hops off the railing) Something's going on. Something weird. (starts to go)", "Willow: What're you gonna do?", "Buffy: Talk to the expert on weird.", "Cut to the library. Giles is going about his work. Buffy follows him as they talk.", "Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?", "Buffy: Uh-huh.", "Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?", "Buffy: Yes.", "Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.", "Buffy: It's bad, isn't it.", "Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him.", "Buffy: Giles, I'm serious.", "Giles: So am I. Except for the part about killing him. Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will, however, get over it.", "Buffy: (exasperated) I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me. There is something supernatural at work here. (grabs some books) Get your books! Look stuff up!", "Giles: (takes the books) Look under what?", "Buffy: I don't know. (exhales) That's your department.", "Giles: The evidence that you've presented me with is sketchy at best.", "Buffy: He scared the pig. (Giles gives her a look) Well, he did...", "Giles: Buffy, boys can be cruel. They tease, they, they, they prey on the weak. I-i-it's natural teen behavior pattern.", "Buffy: What did you just say?", "Giles: Um, they tease.", "Buffy: They prey on the weak. I've heard that somewhere bef... (it clicks in her mind) Xander has been acting totally wiggy ever since we went to the zoo. Him and Kyle and all those guys, they went into the hyena cage. Oh, God, that laugh...", "Giles: You're saying that, uh, Xander's becoming a hyena.", "Buffy: I don't know. Or been possessed by one? Not just Xander, all of them.", "Giles: Well, I-I-I've cer-certainly never heard of, uh...", "Willow: (comes into the library) Herbert! They found him.", "Buffy: The pig?", "Willow: Dead. And also eaten. Principal Flutie's freaking out.", "Buffy: (to Giles) Testosterone, huh? Giles heads towards his office.", "Willow: What're you gonna do?", "Giles: Get my books. Look stuff up. Cut outside. Mr. Flutie is walking angrily. He sees Kyle and the others. Xander isn't with them. Mr. Flutie approaches them.", "Mr. Flutie: (angry) You four!", "Kyle: What?", "Mr. Flutie: Oh, don't think I don't know. Three kids saw you outside Herbert's room. You're busted! Yeah! You're goin' down.", "Rhonda: How is Herbert?", "Heidi: Crunchy! They all laugh. Mr. Flutie is incensed.", "Mr. Flutie: That's it! My office, right now. (they laugh more) Now! They stop laughing. Kyle gets off of the table and indicates for the others to follow.", "Mr. Flutie: You're gonna have so much detention, your grandchildren'll be staying after school.", "Cut to the library. Willow is at the table researching. Buffy is on the stairs behind her with a book.", "Buffy: Wow! Apparently Noah rejected the hyenas from the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats.", "Willow: Hyenas aren't well liked.", "Buffy: They do seem to be the schmoes of the animal kingdom. (comes over to Willow)", "Willow: Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks?", "Buffy: That's assuming 'possession' is the right word.", "Giles: (comes over from the cage) Oh, I'll say it is. The Masai of the Serengeti have spoken of animal possession for, for generations. I... I should have remembered that.", "Buffy: So how does it work?", "Giles: Well, apparently there's a, a sect of animal worshipers known as Primals. They believe that humanity, uh, consciousness, uh, the soul, is a, is a perversion, a dilution of spirit. Uh, to them the animal state is holy. They are able, through trans-possession, to, to, um, draw the spirit of certain animals into themselves.", "Buffy: And then they started acting like hyenas.", "Giles: Well, only the most predatory of animals are, are of interest to the Primals, so, uh, yes, yes, that would fit, yes.", "Buffy: So, what happens to the person once the spirit's in them?", "Giles: If it goes unchecked... He hands Buffy a book open to a certain page. She takes one look, slams the book shut and quickly gets up to go.", "Buffy: I gotta find Xander. Willow picks up the book and opens it to the bookmark. There's a drawing of people with limbs bitten off, heads missing and other massive injuries.", "Cut to the faculty room. Herbert's cage has been mangled. Buffy comes in and looks around. She inspects the cage.", "Buffy: (exhales) They are strong. She steps on something that crunches and crouches down to the floor. She finds parts of Herbert, some vertebrae and other bones. She picks up a rib. Xander comes up to stand behind her. Buffy gets back up and turns around, only to be startled by him.", "Buffy: Xander. She tries to evade him, but he's quick to match her movement.", "Buffy: (exhales) This is ridiculous. We need to talk. She fakes him out and jumps on him, knocking him down with her on top holding down his arms.", "Xander: (smiles) Been waitin' for you to jump my bones.", "Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. He stands in front of his desk and lectures Kyle and his friends.", "Mr. Flutie: I have seen some sick things in my life! Believe me! But this is beyond the pale! What is it with you people? The pack starts to whine and stalk him.", "Mr. Flutie: Is it drugs? How could you? A poor defenseless pig? (notices their behavior) What are you doing?", "Cut to the faculty room. Xander growls and rolls Buffy over onto her back so he's on top now and has her arms pinned down.", "Buffy: Get off of me.", "Xander: Is that what you really want? (Buffy struggles a bit) We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous.", "Buffy: You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena thing, it's like a demonic possession!", "Xander: Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your mystery guy. Well, guess who just got mean.", "Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. He goes around behind his desk to get away from the pack. They slowly approach.", "Mr. Flutie: Now, stop that! You're only gonna make things worse for yourselves. I tell you how this is gonna work: I am gonna call your parents, and they are gonna take you all home. He reaches for his phone, but Tor gets his hands on it first and tries to stare him down. Mr. Flutie looks at him a moment and then gestures to be given the phone. Tor gives it to him.", "Mr. Flutie: Thank you. He starts to pull the phone toward himself to dial, but Rhonda tears it away from him and throws it off of the desk.", "Rhonda: I'm sorry...", "Mr. Flutie: That is it! He tries to get past them, but Kyle growls at him and he falls back into his chair.", "Cut to Buffy and Xander. He is still on top of her.", "Xander: Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted... Buffy throws him off of her and quickly gets up to face him. He gets up, too, and begins to approach her as she backs away.", "Xander: Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?", "Buffy: Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you... He grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her against the vending machine.", "Xander: Now do you wanna hurt me? Buffy struggles, but the possessed Xander is too strong.", "Xander: Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. She struggles a bit more.", "Xander: The more I scare you, (sniffs her) the better you smell. He moves in and kisses her roughly on the neck.", "Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. The pack continues to taunt and sniff him.", "Mr. Flutie: You're about this close to expulsion, people! (gets up) I'm willing to talk to the school counselor, and we can discuss options... He tries to go again, but Heidi stops him. Tor climbs onto his desk and growls at him.", "Mr. Flutie: Get down from there this instant! Rhonda gets in his face and scratches his cheek with her nails. He falls back into his chair with his hand covering his face. He takes his hand away and sees the blood.", "Mr. Flutie: Are you insane?! Tor jumps on him from the desk, and the rest of the pack descends on him and begins feeding. The camera closes in on a picture of Mr. Flutie on his desk.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow is watching footage of feeding hyenas on the PC. She looks up when she hears the door open and stops the playback. She sees Buffy dragging Xander into the library and goes over to them.", "Buffy: Hurry up. We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to.", "Willow: Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?", "Buffy: I hit him.", "Willow: With what?", "Buffy: A desk. Willow opens the cage door, and Buffy drags him in.", "Buffy: He tried his hand at felony sexual assault.", "Willow: Oh, Buffy, the hyena in him didn't...", "Buffy: No. (they arrange him on the floor of the cage) No, but it's safe to say that in his animal state his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti. (locks the cage) There, that oughtta hold him. Where's Giles?", "Willow: He got called to some teacher's meeting. What are we gonna do? I mean... how do we get Xander back? Giles comes into the library.", "Buffy: Right now I'm a little more worried about what the rest of the pack are up to.", "Giles: The rest of the pack were spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage. They were sent to the principal's office.", "Willow: Good! That'll show 'em. (Giles is silent) Did it show 'em? Giles exhales but remains silent, searching for what to say.", "Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they?", "Giles: They, uh... ate him. Willow has to sit down. She and Buffy can't believe what they just heard.", "Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie?", "Willow: Ate him up?", "Giles: The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow. There was no one at the scene.", "Willow: But Xander didn't. (to Buffy) He, he was with you.", "Giles: (sees Xander in the cage) Oh! Uh, well, that's a small mercy.", "Buffy: Giles, how do we stop this? How do you trans-possess someone?", "Giles: I-I'm afraid I still don't have all the pieces. Um, the accounts of the Primals and their methods are a bit thin on the ground. There is some talk of a-a-a predatory act, but the exact ritual is, is, um...", "(picks up a book) The Malleus Maleficarum deals in particulars of demonic possession, which... may apply... (looks through a few pages)", "Yes, one, one should be able to transfer the spirits to another human.", "Buffy: Oh, that's great. Any volunteers?", "Giles: Oh. Good point.", "Buffy: What we need to do is put the hyena back in the hyena.", "Giles: B-but until we know more, uh...", "Buffy: Betcha that zookeeper could tell us. Maybe he didn't quarantine those hyenas because they were sick.", "Giles: We should talk to him.", "Buffy: Okay. (starts to go but stops) Oh, wait, somebody's gotta watch Xander.", "Willow: (gets up) I will.", "Buffy: Will, are you sure? If he wakes up...", "Willow: (holds her hand out for the keys) I'll be alright. Go. After a moment's hesitation Buffy gives Willow the keys to the cage and grabs her coat.", "Buffy: (to Giles) C'mon. Willow watches them leave, then looks over at Xander in the cage. She slips the keys into her pocket. Cut outside at night. A young woman with her baby in a backpack walks through some bushes and sees the pack lying on the ground, sleeping after their meal. The pack wakes and sees the woman. She becomes panicy and slowly backs up, almost stepping on Tor. She turns suddenly when she hears him growl. He drools heavily. The members of the pack slowly crawl toward her. The woman finally turns and runs, and the pack lies back down to rest some more.", "Cut to the library. Xander wakes up.", "Xander: Willow. She is watching the hyena video again. She stops it and turns to look at him.", "Willow: How are you feeling?", "Xander: Like somebody hit me with a desk. (looks around) What am I doin' here?", "Willow: (gets up and goes toward the cage) You're... resting?", "Xander: You guys got me locked up now. (stands up)", "Willow: 'Cause you're sick. Buffy said...", "Xander: Oh, yeah. Buffy and her all-purpose solution: punch 'em out 'n' knock 'em down. I'd love to see what she'd do to somebody who was *really* sick.", "Willow: That's not fair. Buffy saved both of our lives.", "Xander: Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?", "Willow: (moves closer) Maybe...", "Xander: When we were alone together... Willow, I know there's something wrong with me. I think it's gettin' worse. But I can't just stand around waitin' for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again. (exhales) Look, I want you to help me. I want you.", "Willow: I am helping you.", "Xander: (exhales) You're doing what you're told.", "Willow: Buffy's trying to help you, too. You know that. Or Xander does.", "Xander: Yeah... Buffy's so selfless. Always thinking of us. Well, if I'm so dangerous, how come she left you alone with me?", "Willow: I told her to.", "Xander: Why?", "Willow: 'Cause I know you better than she does... and I wanted to be here to see if... you were still you.", "Xander: You know I am. Look at me. (long pause) Looook.", "Willow: (moves even closer) (whispers) Xander... He makes a grab for her through the slot in the cage, but she backs off in time.", "Willow: Now I know.", "Xander: (bangs on the cage) LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!", "Cut to the zookeeper's office.", "Zookeeper: The students have been possessed by the hyenas?", "Giles: Yes.", "Zookeeper: Are you sure?", "Buffy: We're really, really sure.", "Giles: Y-you don't seem enormously surprised by this.", "Zookeeper: The zoo imported those hyenas from Africa. There was something strange about them from day one. I did some homework... That particular breed is very rare. Totally vicious. Historically they were worshipped by these guys...", "Giles: Primals.", "Zookeeper: Yeah! Creepy guys! Now, they had rituals for taking the hyena spirits, but I-I don't see how that coulda happened to your kids.", "Giles: Uh, we don't know exactly how the ritual works. We know that it involves a, um, um... predatory act and some kind of symbol.", "Zookeeper: Predatory act? Of course. That makes sense. Where did you read that?", "Giles: Do you have Sherman Jeffries' work on, on cults and on...", "Buffy: Boys?", "Giles: Sorry.", "Zookeeper: Look.", "Giles: (raises his hand slightly) Sorry.", "Zookeeper: Look. I think we may have enough information so that together we could pull off a reverse trans-possession.", "Buffy: What do we do?", "Zookeeper: We've gotta get those possessed students over to the hyena cage right away! I'll meet you there. We can begin the rituals.", "Buffy: W-well, we can guarantee one of them, but there are four more, and we have no idea where they are.", "Zookeeper: No, I wouldn't worry about that. After hyenas feed and rest they will track the missing member of their pack until they find him. They should come right to you.", "Buffy: (worried) Willow!", "Cut to the library. Willow is watching the hyena video again. Xander paces in the cage.", "Xander: Willow...", "Willow: I'm not listening.", "Cut to the small arched windows high up on the wall. Kyle appears at one, Heidi at the other.", "Kyle: Wiiillooow... ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Kyle is looking in through the window.", "Kyle: Wiiillooow...", "Willow: (turns to the cage) Xander, shut up!", "Kyle: Wiiillooow... She looks up at the window where the sound is coming from, sees Kyle and startles. Kyle and Heidi kick in the windows. Willow gets up and runs from the library. The pack comes in as Xander kicks and pounds at the cage. Kyle manages to bend over the corner of the door. The others start banging at the cage, too.", "Cut to the hall. Willow stops at the intersection.", "Cut to the library. The pack pulls down the door, freeing Xander. They whine and sniff each other.", "Cut to the hall. Willow runs to a door and tries it, but finds it locked.", "Cut to the library. Xander looks toward the library doors and begins tracking Willow. The others follow.", "Cut to the hall. Willow runs to another door on the other side of the hall and finds it open. She goes in and closes the door behind her. The pack reaches the hall intersection and sniffs around for Willow's scent. Cut inside the classroom. Willow hides under the teacher's desk.", "Cut to the hall. The pack splits up and begins searching for Willow. Xander and Heidi come down the hall. He keeps sniffing. He looks at the door that Willow went through and goes into the classroom with Heidi. Willow stays quiet under the desk. Xander looks around and sees nothing. He motions with his head for them to leave. When Willow hears the door close she comes out from under the desk. She looks toward the door, sees Xander and screams as she jumps back against the window blinds. Xander growls and leaps over the desk at her. She runs around the desk to get away and tips over a student desk to block Xander's way. He comes after her and trips over the desk. Willow runs out of the door, but is met by Heidi. Buffy comes up behind Heidi and hits her on the back with a fire extinguisher, knocking her down and out. Willow comes out of the room and goes over to Giles. Xander has gotten up and rushes Buffy. She kicks him and he falls in the hall outside the classroom also. Buffy discards the extinguisher. The other three pack members appear at the end of the hall.", "Giles: Run! They come running. Giles and Willow run back into the classroom, and Buffy follows, closing and locking the door behind her. The pack pounds on the door but can't get in and soon leaves.", "Buffy: I think they're going.", "Willow: They could be faking it.", "Buffy: No, they're hungry. They'll be looking for somebody weak. I'm really sorry, Will. I didn't know they were gonna come after Xander.", "Willow: It's okay.", "Giles: We must lead them back to the zoo if we're going to stop this.", "Buffy: And before their next meal. Guess that's my job.", "Giles: Well, individually they're almost as strong as you. As a group they're...", "Buffy: They're tough, but I think they're getting stupider. You guys go to the zoo and I will bring them to you. (leaves)", "Cut to a house where a family is coming out.", "Mr. Anderson: I didn't say she looks better than you, I said she looks better.", "Mrs. Anderson: I heard what I heard. (to her son) Joey, chew! You have to chew or you'll choke! They get into their Jeep.", "Mr. Anderson: I don't see why we have to have this conversation every time we see them.", "Mrs. Anderson: I didn't start it. (puts on her seatbelt)", "Mr. Anderson: (looks at the ignition) Damn. Where are the keys?", "Mrs. Anderson: Huh? They hear Joey's name being called from outside and begin to look around. Kyle looks down from the Jeep's roof into Joey's window. The mother screams. Two others climb onto the hood and slap the windshield. Xander is at the window opposite Kyle. They all pound on the car.", "Mr. Anderson: What going on?! Hey! Get off! Get off of there! Xander breaks the window with his elbow.", "Joey: Get away! Xander growls and reaches in for Joey. His mother reaches back to try to protect him.", "Mrs. Anderson: Joey! Joey! Joey! Buffy comes running up, grabs Rhonda and throws her off of the hood to the ground. She climbs to the roof and does an in-to-out axe kick, knocking Kyle off. She looks down at Xander's feet sticking out of the window.", "Mrs. Anderson: Joey!", "Buffy: Didn't your mom teach you? (Xander hears her) Don't play with your food. Xander crawls out and looks up at her. The pack gathers around him and looks up at her. She straightens up and puts her hands on her hips.", "Buffy: C'mon. You know what you want. She turns, jumps off of the car and starts running down the street. The pack gives chase.", "Cut to the Hyena House. Giles and Willow arrive at a run.", "Willow: The pathway to the Hyena House. Where's the zookeeper?", "Giles: Uh, he must be inside. I-I'll go in and prepare things. You just warn, uh, us when you hear Buffy and the others approaching. He runs in. Willow turns around to watch and wait.", "Cut to Buffy running through a stand of trees. The pack is close behind.", "Cut to inside the Hyena House. Giles ducks under the tape and comes into the main area.", "Giles: Doctor? Uh... zookeeper? He hears a door close and is startled by the zookeeper. He is all made up.", "Giles: Oh! Oh, of course, the, uh, Masai ceremonial garb. Yes... Very good. Are you, uh, otherwise prepared for the trans-possession?", "Zookeeper: (nods) Almost.", "Giles: (notices the markings on the floor) Oh, right! The, uh, sacred circle. Yes, you'd need that to, um... This would be here when... when the children first came. Why would you... (figures it out, exhales) How terribly frustrating for you, that a bunch of school children could accomplish what you could not.", "Zookeeper: It bothered me. But the power will be mine. Giles tries to get away, but the zookeeper hits him in the gut with his stick and again on the back, knocking him out. He tosses the stick aside and drags Giles away.", "Cut to Buffy, still running through the trees. Cut to outside the Hyena House. Willow hears them coming and runs in. Cut inside.", "Willow: They're almost here! Giles! Giles! (sees the zookeeper) Where are the hyenas for the trans-possession?", "Zookeeper: They're right here in the feeding area. Willow runs to see the hyenas, but he stops her.", "Zookeeper: Stay back! They haven't been fed.", "Willow: Where's Giles?", "Zookeeper: He's... laying in wait.", "Willow: They're almost here. Shouldn't you bring the hyenas out?", "Zookeeper: When the time is right. I'm gonna need your help. (begins binding her wrists) Cut outside. Buffy comes running in.", "Buffy: They're right behind me! Cut inside.", "Willow: That's Buffy! Get ready! The zookeeper takes Willow and positions her in front of him.", "Zookeeper: Here.", "Willow: What is this?", "Zookeeper: A predatory act, remember? (holds a knife to her throat)", "Willow: Uh, right. You'll pretend to slash my throat and, and put the evil in the hyenas?", "Zookeeper: Something like that. Willow realizes the zookeeper has other intentions. Buffy comes running in, but stops short when she sees Willow being held by the zookeeper.", "Willow: Buffy, it's a trap! Xander grabs Buffy from behind and they fall to the floor. The others come in and get on top of her, too.", "Zookeeper: YU BA YA SA NA! The pack looks up at him and their eyes all flash green. Then the zookeeper's eye flash green. He turns to Willow and growls. He drops the knife, grabs her head and moves in to bite her.", "Xander: Willow! He gets up and charges the zookeeper, knocking him down and away from Willow. The pack gets off of Buffy. The zookeeper gets up and punches Xander. Buffy gets up and punches the zookeeper. Kyle and his gang see the fight and begin to crawl away on their butts. The zookeeper charges Buffy but she knocks him back down. He charges her again and she tosses him over onto his back. He gets up and tries again. Buffy gets under him and throws him up and into the hyena pit. He tries to climb out but is dragged back down by the hyenas. Kyle and company get up and scramble away. Buffy runs to the pit to see if she can save the zookeeper, but she's too late. She looks away as Xander comes over to untie Willow. Giles comes out of the back room.", "Giles: Uh, did I miss anything?", "Cut to the school the next day. The shot from the balcony shows Buffy, Willow and Xander walking across the quad.", "Willow: I heard the vice-principal's taking over 'til they can find a replacement.", "Buffy: It shouldn't be too hard to find a new principal. Unless they ask what happened to the last one.", "Xander: Okay, but I had nothing to do with that, right? They start to climb the stairs.", "Buffy: Oh, right.", "Willow: You only ate the pig.", "Xander: I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or... The girls shake their heads.", "Xander: (covering his face) Oh, my God! I ate a pig? I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuk!", "Buffy: Well, it wasn't really you.", "Xander: Well, I remember I was goin' on the field trip, and then goin' down to the Hyena House, and next thing some guy's holding Willow and he's got a knife.", "Willow: You saved my life.", "Xander: Hey! Nobody messes with my Willow. (gives her a hug) Buffy looks on and smiles. Willow smiles, too.", "Buffy: This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes.", "Xander: I didn't do anything else, did I, around you guys or anything embarrassing? The girls smile, and Buffy considers what to tell him.", "Buffy: (shakes her head) Nah!", "Willow: Not at all.", "Buffy: (to Willow) C'mon. We're gonna be late. (takes her hand and they go)", "Willow: (to Xander) See you at lunch.", "Xander: Cool! Oh, hey, goin' vegetarian! Huh? He gives them two thumbs-up. Willow turns and smiles at him. So does Buffy. Xander starts to head the other way when he is met by Giles.", "Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.", "Xander: Did you tell them that?", "Giles: (leans to Xander's ear) Your secret dies with me.", "Xander: Shoot me, stuff me, mount me. Giles pats him on the shoulder as he shakes his head and starts walking along the balcony. He leans on the railing and watches Xander go. Xander can't believe what has happened to him." ]

[ "Sharing their first kiss, Buffy is horrified to discover that Angel is a vampire. Bent on slaying him, Buffy learns that Angel's soul was restored by a Gypsy curse, making him unique-and reviled-among his fellow undead. Angel stakes Darla, the vampire who made him, as she attempts to assassinate Buffy for the Master." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Master's lair. Collin is tossing stones into the pool. He takes a few more from the Master's hand. Darla comes into the lair.", "Master: Zachary didn't return from the hunt last night.", "Darla: The Slayer.", "Master: Zachary was strong, and he was careful. And still the Slayer takes him... as she has taken so many of my family. (takes a breath) It wears thin. Collin, what would you do about it?", "Collin: I'd annihilate her.", "Master: (Inhales) Out of the mouths of babes...", "Darla: (makes her way down) Let me do it, Master. Let me kill her for you.", "Master: You have a personal interest in this.", "Darla: I don't get to have any fun.", "Master: I will send the Three.", "Darla: The Three?", "Cut to an alley. Three tough guys are lighting up cigarettes. The Three come around a corner at a steady, deliberate pace. The men see them coming and leave.", "Cut to the Bronze. A cockroach is being chased along the floor.", "Boy: Get it! Go get it, right there!", "Girl: I got it! She holds the roach up to the bartender and drops it into his jar.", "Girl: Free drink, please. The bartender nods his head and goes to get the drink.", "Willow: Ah, the fumigation party.", "Cut to Buffy and Willow sitting at a table.", "Buffy: Hmm?", "Willow: It's an annual tradition. The closing of the Bronze for a few days to nuke the cockroaches?", "Buffy: (not paying attention) Oh.", "Willow: It's a lot of fun... What's it like where *you* are?", "Buffy: (looks up and smiles) I'm... sorry, I was just... thinking about things...", "Willow: So, we're talking about a guy?", "Buffy: Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence?", "Willow: (smiles) You lack a guy.", "Buffy: I do. Which is fine with me, most of the time, but...", "Willow: What about Angel?", "Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'", "Willow: He's not around much, it's true.", "Buffy: (looks dreamy) When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?", "Willow: Oh, yeah! (looks over at Xander) Xander is on the dance floor, making a fool of himself. He dances up to a girl.", "Xander: Hey, Annie! (sees her boyfriend) Dino, just leaving! He backs away and bumps into Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Ouch! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred- dollar shoes!", "Xander: I'm sorry, I was just...", "Cordelia: ...getting off the dance floor before Annie Vega's boyfriend squashes you like a bug?", "Xander: Oh, so you noticed.", "Cordelia: Uh-huh.", "Xander: Yeah, thanks for being so understanding.", "Cordelia: Sure.", "Xander: Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker! (laughs) He leaves the dance floor and goes over to Buffy and Willow.", "Xander: Boy, that Cordelia is a regular breath of vile air. What are you vixens up to?", "Willow: Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. (sees a roach) Oh, look, a cockroach. (stomps it) Buffy lifts her eyes to see and then turns them back down.", "Xander: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy!", "Buffy: Alright, now I'm infecting those nearest and dear to me. I'm gonna call it a night. (gets up)", "Willow: Oh, don't go!", "Xander: Uh, yeah! It's early! We could, um, dance!", "Buffy: Rain check? Good night. (leaves) Xander lets out a breath. Willow holds her shoe up to him.", "Willow: Want a free drink? Buffy makes her way out of the Bronze looking bummed. She passes the stairs. Angel is watching her go. Buffy senses something and turns to look. Angel is gone. She continues out.", "Cut to the street. Buffy is walking home. She senses something and stops to look behind her. Nothing. She continues and walks past an alley. She hears a breath and stops.", "Buffy: It's late, I'm tired, and I don't wanna play games. Show yourself. One of the Three roars and drops down to the sidewalk behind her. She reaches into her coat, pulls out a stake and quickly spins around to stake the vampire. Another of the Three grabs her arm as she swings.", "Buffy: Wuh! The third member comes up on her other side and grabs her other arm.", "Buffy: Ooo! Okay, okay, nice... They pull her into the alley and up against a fence. The first one approaches her.", "Buffy: Okay, okay... Look, I really don't want to have to fight all three of you... unless I have to. She snap kicks him in the crotch, elbows the third, and tries to punch the second. He blocks her swing and thrusts his knee in to her gut, slamming her into the fence. The other two recover and grab her again. The second one slowly approaches her with death in his eyes. Buffy is terrified and struggles to get away. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the alley. The vampire comes up to Buffy, grabs her head and moves in to bite. Angel comes up behind him, grabs him by the hair and pulls him off of her.", "Angel: Good dogs don't... (punches the vampire) ...*bite*! Buffy is surprised, but quickly regains her head. Using the support of the two vampires holding onto her arms, she kicks up with both feet and hits them both in the face with a straddle kick. One of them grabs her again and holds her against the fence. Angel continues to fight the other two, punching one and snap kicking the second. One of them pulls a piece of iron bar off of a window.", "Buffy: Look out! Angel turns around, only to be sliced in the chest with the bar. Buffy shoves an open palm into her assailant's chin, pushing him off of her, punches him once in the gut and then slams both fists into his head. Angel is bent over in pain and is about to be stabbed again. Buffy quickly side kicks his attacker in the face, and he falls back away from Angel. She helps Angel up.", "Buffy: Run! They come running out of the alley. The Three get up and give chase. Buffy and Angel jump over the bushes in front of her house and run onto the porch. The Three are hot on their trail. Buffy gets the front door open.", "Buffy: Get in! C'mon! She rushes inside. Angel is right behind her. Buffy slams the door on one of the vampire's hands. He struggles a moment, but pulls his hand back out. She slams the door shut and locks it. The vampire looks in through the glass. Another one looks in through the window.", "Angel: It's alright. A vampire can't come in unless it's invited.", "Buffy: I've heard that before, but I've never put it to the test. (leans on the door, sees his wound) Oh... I'll go get some bandages, just... take your jacket and your shirt off. She heads into the kitchen. Angel looks out the window one last time and follows her. He takes off his jacket and his T-shirt. Buffy looks at him from behind and sees his tattoo. She brings over the first aid kit.", "Buffy: Nice tattoo. (exhales) I was lucky you came along. (looks up at him) How did you happen to come along? (begins to bandage him)", "Angel: I live nearby. I was just out walking.", "Buffy: So, you weren't following me? I just had this feeling you were.", "Angel: (smiles) Why would I do that?", "Buffy: You tell me. You're the mystery guy that appears out of nowhere. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it tonight, but... if you are hanging around I'd like to know why. (finishes bandaging)", "Angel: Maybe I like you.", "Buffy: Maybe... They smile at each other. Buffy hears the door open and quickly goes to intercept her mom. She's also worried about the Three outside. She pulls her mom into the house and closes the door.", "Joyce: Hi! What are you doing?", "Buffy: There's a lot of weird people outside at night... Joyce starts toward the kitchen. Buffy comes after her.", "Buffy: ...I just feel better with you safe and sound inside. You must be beat.", "Joyce: I am. We're a little gallery. You have no idea how much...", "Buffy: Well, then why don't you go upstairs and get into bed, and I can bring you some hot tea?", "Joyce: That's sweet! (suspicious) What'd you do?", "Buffy: Can't a daughter just be concerned about her mother? Angel comes into the living room behind Buffy. Joyce sees him.", "Joyce: Hi.", "Angel: Hi.", "Buffy: Oh! Okay... Um... Angel, uh, this is my mom. Mom, this is Angel. Uh, we ran into each other on the way home.", "Angel: Nice to meet you.", "Joyce: What do you do, Angel?", "Buffy: He's a student. (her mother gives her a disbelieving look) Uh, first year community college. Angel's been helping me with my history, you know I've been toiling there.", "Joyce: It's a little late for tutoring. I'm gonna go to bed, and, uh, Buffy? (starts up the stairs)", "Buffy: I'll say good night and do the same! Joyce looks back down at her daughter and nods.", "Joyce: (to Angel) It was nice to meet you.", "Cut to Buffy at the front door holding it open.", "Buffy: Good night! We'll hook up soon and do that study thing! She closes the door. Angel is still there behind it. They go up the stairs and into her room. She closes the door quietly.", "Angel: Look, I don't wanna get you in any more trouble...", "Buffy: And I don't wanna get you dead. They could still be out there. (moves to the center of the room) So, uh, oh... two of us, one bed. That doesn't work. (faces him) Um, why don't you take the bed? Y'know, you're wounded...", "Angel: I'll take the floor.", "Buffy: Uh, no, that's not...", "Angel: Oh, believe me, I've had worse.", "Buffy: Okay. Um, then why don't you check and see if the Fang Gang is still loitering and, um, keep your back turned while I change? Angel goes over to the window to have a look. Buffy goes to her closet and changes.", "Angel: I don't see them.", "Buffy: Y'know, I'm the Chosen One, it's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?", "Angel: Uh, somebody has to.", "Buffy: Well, what does your family think of your career choice?", "Angel: They're dead. She has finished changing and comes over to him.", "Buffy: Was it vampires?", "Angel: (faces her) I-it was.", "Buffy: I'm sorry.", "Angel: It was a long while ago.", "Buffy: So, this is a vengeance gig for you.", "Angel: (pauses) Y-you even look pretty when you go to sleep.", "Buffy: Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story. They go over to her bed. She hands him the comforter from it.", "Buffy: Here. Sleep tight. He lays the comforter down on the floor next to her bed. She gets into her bed and he lies on the comforter.", "Buffy: Angel?", "Angel: Hmm?", "Buffy: Do you snore?", "Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know. He turns his head to look at her. She smiles and settles in to sleep.", "Cut to the library the next day.", "Xander: He spent the night? In your room? In your bed?", "Buffy: Not *in* my bed, *by* my bed.", "Willow: That is so romantic! Did you, uh... I mean, did he, uh...", "Buffy: (smiling) Perfect gentleman. The girls exchange smiles.", "Xander: Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book.", "Buffy: What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?", "Xander: Duh! I mean, guys'll do anything to impress a girl. I-I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath. (smiles)", "Willow: It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor.", "Giles: (coming to the table) Can we steer this riveting conversation back to the events that happened earlier in the evening? (Buffy sits down) You left the Bronze and were set upon by three unusually virile vampires. (puts a book in front of her) Did they look like this?", "Buffy: Yeah. What's with the uniforms?", "Giles: It seems you encountered the Three. Warrior vampires, very proud and very strong.", "Willow: (to Giles) How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.", "Giles: Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it.", "Willow: No, I was sleeping.", "Giles: Uh, o-obviously you're hurting the Master very much. He, he wouldn't send the, the Three for just anyone. We must step up our training with weapons.", "Xander: Buffy, you should stay at my house until these Samurai guys are history.", "Buffy: (turns to him) What?", "Xander: Ah-ah-ah, don't worry about Angel, Willow can run to your house and tell him to get out of town fast.", "Giles: Angel and Buffy are, are not in any immediate jeopardy. Eventually the Master will send someone else, but in the mean time the Three, having failed, will offer their own lives in penance.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Vampire: We failed in our duty, and now our lives belong to you. He hands the Master a spear. The Master passes it to Darla. She starts to walk around behind the Three as the Master goes over to Collin.", "Master: Pay attention, child. You are the Anointed, and there is much you must learn. (crouches beside him) With power comes responsibility. True, they did fail, but also true, we who walk at night share a common bond. The taking of a life -- I'm not talking about humans, of course -- is a serious matter. One of the Three raises his head in hope.", "Collin: So you would spare them?", "Master: Hmm. (gets up) I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy. The Master begins to walk away, and Collin follows. Darla watches them go and smiles. She lifts the spear and dispatches the first of the Three. The Master stops and turns to Collin.", "Master: Of course, sometimes a little is enough. He looks over at Darla as she kills the next one and continues away.", "Cut to the school. Cut to the library door. Giles sets out a sign that reads 'Library CLOSED for filing. Please come back tomorrow.' Cut inside. Buffy is checking out the weapons case.", "Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! (lifts it out, sees the bolts) Huh. Check out these babies. (takes out a bolt) Hmm. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. What can I shoot?", "Giles: Um, nothing. The crossbow comes later. He takes the crossbow from her and goes to put it back. Buffy is disappointed.", "Giles: You must first become proficient with the basic tools of combat.", "(Buffy looks bored) And let's begin... (comes back with two poles)", "...with the quarterstaff. Which, incidentally, will, uh, require countless hours of vigorous training. (hands her one) I speak from experience.", "Buffy: Giles, 20th Century? I'm not gonna be fighting Friar Tuck.", "Giles: You never know with whom or what you'll be fighting. (puts on his head pads) And these traditions have been handed down through the ages. (grabs his staff) Now, you show me good, steady progress with the quarterstaff, and in due course we'll discuss the crossbow. Put on your pads.", "Buffy: (laughs) I'm not gonna need pads to fight you.", "Giles: Well, we'll see about that. En garde! He makes several thrusts and she parries them all. She takes the offensive, pushes his staff to the floor and punches him in the face. She comes around with the staff into his back, and again to knock his legs out from under him. He falls onto his back. She stands over him.", "Giles: (stunned) Good. Let's move on to the crossbow.", "Cut to the Summers house at night. Cut to Buffy coming into her room. She closes the door and looks around.", "Buffy: Angel?", "Angel: Hey. She turns on her desk lamp.", "Buffy: Brought you some dinner. It's a little plateless, sorry. She hands him a plastic bag full of food that she pilfered from dinner. He accepts it and looks at it.", "Buffy: So! What'd you do all day?", "Angel: Uh, I read a little. Buffy looks over to her diary. It's out of place.", "Angel: And just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I...", "Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? (goes to put it in a drawer) That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! (comes back to him) I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.", "Angel: Buffy...", "Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...", "Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear. She just looks at him.", "Buffy: Oh! (looks down, realizing what she just said) Oh.", "Angel: I did a lot of thinking today. I really can't be around you. (Buffy looks up) Because when I am...", "Buffy: (looks down) Hey, no big. Water... over the bridge, under the bridge...", "Angel: When I am all I can ever think about is how badly I want to kiss you.", "Buffy: ...over the dam... (looks up at him) Kiss me?", "Angel: I'm older than you, and this can't ever... I better go.", "Buffy: H-how much older?", "Angel: I should...", "Buffy: (approaches him) ...go... You said... They kiss. They kiss again. They kiss passionately. She puts her arm around him. The kiss goes on for several moments. Angel suddenly pulls back and looks away.", "Buffy: What? What is it? What's wrong? He turns to face her and growls. She sees he has his game face on and screams. He takes a last look at her and jumps out of the window. He slides down the roof and off onto the ground. Buffy goes to the window and watches him run away. Her mother comes running into the room.", "Joyce: Buffy, what happened? She backs away from the window. Her mom takes her by the shoulders. She looks at her mom and shakes her head.", "Buffy: Uh, nothing. I saw a shadow. They both look out the window. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning at Sunnydale High. The team is walking up the steps from the street toward the building.", "Willow: Angel's a vampire?", "Buffy: I can't believe this is happening. One minute we were kissing, and the next minute... (to Giles) Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen?", "Giles: A vampire isn't a person at all. (clears his throat) It may have the movements, the, the memories, even the personality of the person that it took over, but i-it's still a demon at the core, there is no halfway.", "Willow: So that'd be a no, huh?", "Buffy: Well, then what was he doing? Why was he good to me? Was it all some part of the Master's plan? It doesn't make sense! They've reached a bench where Willow and Buffy sit.", "Xander: Alright, uh... (sits also) ...you have a problem, and it's not a small one. Let's take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively. Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do. (smiles) Buffy doesn't react, so Xander looks up at Giles.", "Giles: (crouches down) Uh, it is a Slayer's duty...", "Xander: I-I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right? Buffy looks away.", "Xander: You're in love with a vampire?! What, are you outta your mind?!", "Cordelia: What?! He looks at Cordelia. She's looking somewhere else, but turns to him.", "Xander: (to Cordelia) Not vampire... (to Buffy) How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em! Cordelia looks back at another girl wearing the same dress she is.", "Cordelia: Where did you get that dress? (pursues her) This is a one-of- a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? (checks the label) This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements! The two girls disappear into the building.", "Buffy: You think we have problems...", "Cut to the hall outside Angel's apartment. He comes through the door and goes to his apartment door. He unlocks it and goes in. Cut inside. There are a bunch of old books stacked along the wall. He closes the door and goes over to turn on a lamp. When he straightens back up he senses a presence.", "Angel: Who's here?", "Darla: A friend. He quickly faces the voice. Darla comes out of the shadows wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform.", "Darla: Hi. It's been a while.", "Angel: A lifetime.", "Darla: Or two, but who's counting?", "Angel: What's with the Catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you it was kimonos.", "Darla: And last time I saw you it wasn't high school girls. (flares the skirt) Don't cha like? (approaches Angel) Remember Budapest? Turn of the century? You were such a bad boy during that earthquake.", "Angel: You did some damage yourself.", "Darla: Is there anything better than a natural disaster? (walks away) The panic. The people lost in the streets. It's like picking fruit off the vine. (reaches the bed) Nice! You're living above ground, like one of them. You and your new friend are attacking us, like one of them. (walks to the window) But guess what, precious? You're not one of them. She draws the window blinds open, letting in a stream of sunlight. Angel is blinded, and he stumbles backward to get out of the light.", "Darla: Are you?", "Angel: No. But I'm not exactly one of you either.", "Darla: (walks to the fridge) Is that what you tell yourself these days? She opens the refrigerator and sees the bags and bottles of human blood.", "Darla: You're not exactly living off quiche. (closes the fridge) You and I both know what you hunger for. (goes over to him) What you need. Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's who we are. It's what makes eternal life worth living. (smiles and touches him) Mm. You can only suppress your real nature for so long. You can feel it brewing inside of you. I hope I'm around when it explodes.", "Angel: Maybe you don't wanna be.", "Darla: I'm not afraid of you. I bet she is, though. (starts to leave) Or maybe I'm underestimating her. Talk to her. Tell her about the curse. Maybe she'll come around. And if she still doesn't trust you, you know where I'll be. She exits the apartment, leaving an angry Angel behind.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is looking through a book. So are Willow and Xander. Giles comes up behind Xander and startles him.", "Giles: Here's something at last.", "Xander: Can you please warn us before you do that?", "Giles: There's nothing about Angel in the texts, but it suddenly occurred to me that it's been ages since I've read the diaries of any of the watchers before me.", "Willow: (to Buffy) That musta been so embarrassing when you thought he had read your diary, but then it turned out he hadn't, but then he felt the same way... (Xander gives her a look) I'm listening.", "Giles: There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of, of Angelus, the one with the angelic face.", "Buffy: They got that right.", "Xander: (clears his throat) I'm not saying anything, I have nothing to say.", "Giles: Does this, uh, Angel have, um, a tattoo behind his right shoulder?", "Buffy: Yeah, it's a, it's a bird or something.", "Xander: Now I'm sayin' something. You saw him naked?", "Willow: So, Angel's been around for a while.", "Giles: Not long for a vampire. Uh, two hundred and forty years or so.", "Buffy: Huh! Two hundred and forty. Well, he said he was older.", "Giles: (sits) Angelus leaves Ireland, uh, wreaks havoc in, in Europe for, uh, several decades, and then, um, about eighty years ago, the most curious thing happens. He, he comes to, uh, to America, um, shuns other vampires, and, and lives alone. There's, there's no, no record of him hunting here.", "Willow: So he *is* a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten, ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being someone who's... not.", "Giles: I say that there's no record, but, uh, vampires hunt and kill. It's, it's what they do.", "Xander: Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly.", "Buffy: He could've fed on me, he didn't.", "Xander: Question: a hundred years or so before he came to our shores, what was he like then?", "Giles: Uh, like all of them. Uh, a vicious, violent animal.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Darla: Don't think I'm not grateful, you letting me kill the Three.", "Master: How can my children learn if I do everything for them?", "Darla: But you've gotta let me take care of the Slayer.", "Master: Oh! You're giving me orders now!", "Darla: (walks away) Okay, then, we'll just do nothing while she takes us out one by one.", "Master: Do I sense a plan, Darla? (she turns around) Share...", "Darla: (walks back) Angel kills her and comes back to the fold.", "Master: Angel! He was the most vicious creature I ever met. I miss him.", "Darla: So do I.", "Master: (considers) Why would he kill her if he feels for her?", "Darla: To keep her from killing him.", "Master: Hmm. (to Collin) You see how we all work together for the common good? That's how a family is supposed to function!", "Cut to the school at night.", "Willow: Okay, so let's review.", "Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow are studying.", "Willow: Reconstruction began when? (looks up) Buffy?", "Buffy: Huh? (comes back to earth) Oh! Um, reconstruction... Uh, reconstruction began after the... construction, which was... shoddy, so they had to reconstruct.", "Willow: After the destruction of the Civil War.", "Buffy: Right. Civil War. During which Angel was already, like, a hundred and change...", "Willow: Are we gonna talk about boys, or are we gonna help you pass history? Buffy looks up at Willow. She closes the book.", "Willow: Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips. (huge smile)", "Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!", "Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms. Darla peeks out from behind the stacks.", "Willow: Okay, so here's something I gotta know. When Angel kissed you... I mean before he turned into... how was it?", "Buffy: (smiles) Unbelievable! Darla continues to watch and listen.", "Willow: Wow! And it is kinda novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die, and... Oh, and what about the children? (Buffy looks at her) I'll be quiet now.", "Buffy: No, it's okay. I need to hear this. I need to get over him so I can...", "Willow: So that you can... (makes a stabbing gesture)", "Buffy: Like Xander said, I'm the Slayer, and he's a... vampire. God, I can't! He's never done anything to hurt me... Okay, no, I need to stop thinking about this. Okay, let's give another half an hour and maybe something will sink in. And then I'm going home for some major moping. Darla smiles and backs away.", "Willow: Okay. The era of the congressional reconstruction, usually called radical...", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut inside to the kitchen where Joyce is doing her taxes and having coffee. She hears creaking on the porch outside and gets up to investigate. She looks out the door window and sees nothing. She opens the door a bit and still there's nothing. She closes the door and heads to the front. Darla looks in, sporting her game face. Joyce walks slowly through the living room and hears a knocking on the door. She looks out, sees Darla in her human guise and opens the door.", "Joyce: Hello?", "Darla: Hi! I'm Darla? A friend of Buffy's?", "Joyce: Oh! (exhales) Nice to meet you.", "Darla: (exhales) She didn't mention anything about me coming over for a study date, did she?", "Joyce: No, I thought she was studying with Willow at the library.", "Darla: She is. Willow's the Civil War expert, but then I was supposed to help her with the War of Independence. My family kinda goes back to those days.", "Joyce: Well, I, I know she's supposed to be home soon. Would you like to come in and wait?", "Darla: (comes in) It's very nice of you to invite me into your home.", "(smiles)", "Joyce: You're welcome. I've been wrestling with the IRS all night.", "Would you like something to eat? (starts to the kitchen)", "Darla: (follows) Yes, I would! She looks at Joyce's neck. Cut to the kitchen.", "Joyce: Let's see what we have. Do you feel like something little or something big?", "Darla: (vamped out) Something big! Cut outside. Angel comes walking up to the house. He almost knocks, but then decides to leave. As he goes he hears Joyce scream. He runs around to the back door and kicks it in. He sees Darla biting Joyce.", "Angel: Let her go!", "Darla: I just had a little, there's plenty more. Aren't you hungry for something warm after all this time? Come on, Angel. Just say 'Yes'! She shoves Joyce into Angel's arms so he can see the bite and smell the blood. He struggles with himself and looks away from the bite. Darla watches with a big smile. Angel looks up at her again with his game face on.", "Darla: Welcome home! She walks around them and leaves the house. Angel continues to struggle with himself. Buffy comes in from the dining room, and Angel looks up.", "Buffy: Hey! I'm home. She turns toward him and freezes with fear. Angel bares his fangs and growls.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers house. Cut to the living room window. Angel flies through it and tumbles over the porch, through the bushes and onto the lawn. Buffy comes over to the broken window and looks out at him as he gets up.", "Buffy: You're not welcome here. You come near us and I'll kill you. Angel just looks at her. She goes back inside. He turns to leave. Cut inside. Buffy grabs the phone, dials 911 and goes over to kneel by her mom.", "Buffy: Mom! Mom, can you hear me?! (the operator answers) Yes, I need an ambulance, 1630 Revello Drive! My mother cut herself, she lost a lot of blood! Please, please hurry! (drops the phone) Mom!", "Xander: Hey, Buffy! She looks up to see Xander and Willow come in through the kitchen door.", "Xander: Oh, my God!", "Willow: What happened?!", "Buffy: Angel!", "Cut to the hospital. Giles rushes down the corridor trying to find Joyce's room.", "Buffy: Do you remember anything, Mom? Cut inside the room.", "Joyce: Just, um, your friend came over... I was gonna make a snack...", "Buffy: My friend? Giles comes in the door.", "Joyce: I guess I slipped and cut my neck on... The doctor said it looked like a barbecue fork. (looks at Buffy) We don't have a barbecue fork. (looks at Giles) Are you another doctor?", "Buffy: (looks to see) Oh! Um... No, Mom, this is Mr. Giles.", "Joyce: Oh, the librarian from your school! (confused) What's he doing here?", "Giles: Uh, I-I just came to pay my respects, wish you a speedy recovery.", "Joyce: Boy, the teachers really *do* care in this town.", "Buffy: Get some rest now. She gives her mom a kiss and they all go outside the room. Cut to the hall.", "Buffy: She's gonna be okay. They, they gave her some iron... Her, uh, blood count was a, a little...", "Giles: ...a little low. It presents itself like mild anemia. Uh, you, you were, uh, lucky you got to her as soon as you did.", "Buffy: Lucky? Stupid.", "Xander: Buff, it's not your fault.", "Buffy: No? I invited him into my home. Even after I knew who he was, what he was, and I didn't do anything about it... 'cause I had feelings for him, because I cared about him.", "Willow: If you care about somebody you care about them. You can't change that by...", "Buffy: ...killing them? Maybe not. But I think it's a start. (starts to leave)", "Xander: Uh, we'll keep an eye on your mom.", "Giles: (chases after her) Buffy! (blocks her way)", "Buffy: You can't stop me. The Three found me near the Bronze and so did he. He lives nearby.", "Giles: This is no ordinary vampire. (whispers) If there is such a thing. Now, he knows you, he, he's faced the Three! I think this is gonna take more than a simple stake.", "Buffy: So do I.", "Cut to the armory in the library. Buffy loads the crossbow with bolts.", "Darla: She's out hunting you right now.", "Cut to Angel's apartment.", "Darla: She wants to kill you.", "Angel: Leave me alone.", "Darla: What did you think? Did you think she would understand? That she would look at your face... your true face... and give you a kiss?", "Cut to Buffy in the library. She takes a practice shot at an anti- smoking poster and nails the guy in the heart.", "Darla: For a hundred years you've not (Buffy lowers the bow) had a moment's peace because you will not (cut to the apartment) accept who you are. That's all you have to do. Accept it. Don't let her hunt you down. Don't whimper and mewl like a mangy human. Kill! Feed! Live! She has pushed Angel to the limit. He jumps up and shoves her against the wall with her arms pinned up.", "Angel: Alright!", "Darla: What do you want?", "Angel: I want it finished!", "Darla: That's good. You're hurting me. (smiles) That's good, too.", "Cut to outside the Bronze. Buffy has the crossbow held ready. She comes through a hole in a fence and goes toward the entrance. She hears glass breaking above her and turns to the noise. She looks around as she goes to the wall where there's a ladder. She starts to climb.", "Joyce: She talks about you all the time.", "Cut to the hospital room.", "Joyce: It's important to have teachers who make an impression.", "Giles: She makes quite an impression herself.", "Joyce: I-I know she's having trouble with history. I-is it too difficult for her or is she not applying herself?", "Giles: She lives very much in the now, um, and, uh, history, of course, is, is very much about the, uh... the then. B-b-but there's no reason...", "Joyce: She's studying with Willow, she's studying with Darla, I-I mean, she is trying.", "Giles: Darla? I-I-I don't believe I know, uh...", "Joyce: Her friend, the one who came over tonight.", "Giles: Darla came to your house tonight? Sh-she's the friend that you mentioned earlier?", "Joyce: Poor thing, I must've frightened her half to death when I fainted. Someone should really check and make sure she's alright.", "Giles: (gets up) Yes, someone should, right away. I'll do it. (grabs his coat and leaves)", "Joyce: That school is amazing!", "Cut to the hall. He walks with Willow and Xander.", "Giles: We have a problem.", "Cut to the Bronze. Buffy comes down the stairs. When she gets to the bottom she quickly turns to have a look around. Angel backs into the shadows. Buffy hears a noise and pivots toward it.", "Buffy: I know you're there. And I know what you are.", "Angel: Do you? She faces his voice.", "Angel: I'm just an animal, right?", "Buffy: You're not an animal. Animals I like. She keeps looking around her. He growls and comes out of the shadows to face her. She trains the crossbow on him.", "Angel: Let's get it done! He growls and begins to run. He jumps onto a pool table. Buffy follows him with her aim and shoots, but misses. Angel jumps up onto the catwalk above. Buffy can't see him in the shadows. He swings down and kicks her in the back, knocking her onto a pool table. She does a standing back kick at him behind her and sends him into the wall. She runs around the table and dives for the crossbow. She rolls onto her back and takes aim at him. He slowly gets up and growls. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Angel is in his game face and Buffy has her crossbow trained on him. Angel morphs back into his human form.", "Angel: C'mon! Don't go soft on me now! Buffy launches the bolt. It hits the wall next to him.", "Angel: Little wide.", "Buffy: Why? (gets up) Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then... I've killed a lot of vampires. I've never hated one before.", "Angel: Feels good, doesn't it? Feels simple.", "Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family!", "Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.", "Buffy: What changed?", "Angel: Fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan.", "Buffy: Her clan?", "Angel: Romany. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.", "Buffy: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?", "Angel: When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day.", "Buffy: So you started with my mom?", "Angel: I didn't bite her.", "Buffy: Then why didn't you say something?", "Angel: But I wanted to. I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight. Buffy looks at her bow and back at Angel. She puts the bow down on the floor and approaches him. She offers her neck.", "Buffy: Go ahead. He just looks at her in silence.", "Buffy: Not as easy as it looks.", "Darla: Sure it is! They turn toward the voice and see Darla coming out of the shadows. Cut outside. Giles, Willow and Xander are walking down a street.", "Willow: We're near the Bronze. What now?", "Giles: Keep looking for her.", "Xander: I have a question: what if we find her and she's fighting Angel and some of his friends? What the heck are we gonna do about it?", "Cut to the Bronze.", "Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?", "Buffy: Bad hair on top of that outfit?", "Darla: To love someone who used to love you.", "Buffy: (looks at Angel) You guys were involved?", "Darla: For several generations.", "Buffy: Well, you been around since Columbus, you are bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.", "Darla: (smiles) I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die. (smiles) You don't think I came alone, do you?", "Buffy: I know I didn't. She kicks the bow up into her hands and aims it at Darla.", "Darla: Hmm, scary. She produces two pistols from behind her back, one in each hand.", "Darla: Scarier! She shoots Angel. He staggers back onto a post.", "Darla: Oh, don't worry. Bullets can't kill vampires. Can hurt them like hell, but... (giggles) Buffy retreats. Darla starts shooting at her. She does a diving shoulder roll over a pool table and takes cover behind it. Cut outside. Giles, Willow and Xander hear the shots from inside the Bronze.", "Xander: Did you just hear... They run to find a way in. Cut inside. Buffy reloads the crossbow.", "Darla: So many body parts, so few bullets. Let's begin with the kneecaps. No fun dancing without them. She caps off a few more rounds, and the pool table takes a few hits. Buffy pops up with the crossbow and takes a shot at Darla. She doubles over when it hits her in the abdomen. Buffy watches as she straightens back up again.", "Darla: Close, but no heart. She grabs the bolt, pulls it out and tosses it aside. Cut to Giles, Willow and Xander crawling along the floor.", "Xander: We need to distract her, fast!", "Willow: (calls out) Buffy, it wasn't Angel who attacked your mom, it was Darla! Darla turns toward the voice and lets loose a hail of bullets as they hug the floor for cover. Angel pulls the bolt from the wall. Darla turns her attention back on Buffy and hops up onto the pool table. Buffy jumps up, grabs the edge of the table and pulls, knocking Darla onto her back. She pushes the table away and starts to run for cover. Darla fires off a few rounds as she rides the table across the floor. Buffy leaps for cover over a glass case in a dive roll as bullets break it all around her. The pool table has stopped sliding, and Darla gets up to look for Buffy. She hops off of it and advances on the counter while shooting. Giles gets up and messes with the lighting system controls. The strobes come on. Darla looks up at him and stops shooting. Buffy takes the opportunity to change position. Darla sees her move and lets loose another volley.", "Darla: C'mon, Buffy. Take it like a man! Angel comes up behind her, roars and plunges the bolt into her back. She is surprised and cries out in pain. She turns to look at her attacker.", "Darla: Angel? She falls to the floor and bursts into ashes. Buffy rises up to see. Angel looks up from Darla's ashes at Buffy. She comes out from behind the counter. He looks at her a moment longer and then turns and leaves. Buffy is speechless and just watches him go.", "Cut to the Master's lair. He screams as he wields a tall candle holder and smashes it in anger. He flails out with his arms and knocks other things over. Finally he sinks to the ground in grief. Collin comes over to him.", "Collin: Forget her.", "Master: (looks up) How dare you? She was my favorite. For four hundred years...", "Collin: She was weak. You don't need her. I'll bring you the Slayer.", "Master: But to lose her to Angel! He was to have sat at my right hand, come the day. And now...", "Collin: They're all against you. But soon you shall rise. And when you do... (puts a hand on the Master's shoulder) ...we kill them all. The Master smiles at him and gets up. Collin takes his hand and leads him away.", "Cut to later at the Bronze.", "Xander: Ah, the post-fumigation party.", "Buffy: Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre- fumigation party?", "Xander: Much hardier cockroaches.", "Willow: So, no word from Angel?", "Buffy: Nah. It's weird, though. In his way I feel like he's still watching me.", "Willow: Well, in a way he sort of is. In the way of that he's right over there. Buffy looks over where Willow is looking and sees Angel. She briefly looks back at Willow and then heads over to him.", "Xander: I don't need to watch because I'm not threatened. Just gonna look this way. He and Willow sit at a table with him facing away from Buffy and Angel. Willow watches as Buffy makes her way over to Angel. The crowd is slow dancing to \"I'll remember you\", by Sophie Zelmani.", "Lyrics: Did they know what they wanted / The times they kissed me? / And your hands / I held in mine Buffy and Angel reach each other.", "Angel: I just wanted to see if you were okay. And your mother.", "Buffy: We're both good. You?", "Angel: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed I'll be alright. Look, this can't...", "Buffy: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.", "Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.", "Buffy: (nods) I know. Me, too. (whispers) One of us has to go here.", "Angel: (whispers) I know. They look at each other a moment longer and then close in to kiss. Their kiss becomes passionate. Buffy reaches her hands up to Angel's neck.", "Lyrics: Your eyes / That always make me shiver / Now they are closed / They just sometimes twitch a little", "Cut to Willow and Xander.", "Xander: What's going on?", "Willow: Nothin'...", "Xander: Well, as long as they're not kissing. Willow just watches and says nothing. Cut to Angel and Buffy.", "Lyrics: And your body / I could hold for an hour / It sent me to Heaven / With its heat and power They separate.", "Buffy: You okay?", "Angel: It's just...", "Buffy: ...painful. I know. See you around?", "Lyrics: I'll remember you / You will be there in my heart / I'll remember you / And that is all that I can do / But I'll remember Buffy walks away. Angel watches her go. The camera pans down to his chest where her cross has left a deep burn." ]

[ "Willow meets a boy on the Internet, but \"Malcolm\" is really Moloch, an ancient demon released from bondage after Willow scanned his \"book\" into the school's computer. With help from Ms. Calendar , Sunnydale High's computer teacher, Buffy foils Moloch's plan to upload himself into a giant robot." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. A castle in Cortona, Italy, 1418. Cut inside. Carlo is standing by a window looking into the room.", "Moloch: Carlo, caro mio.", "Translation: Carlo, my dear one. Carlo comes into the room and over to Moloch. He kneels. Moloch steps over to him and puts his hand on his head. The camera pans up to Moloch's demonic face.", "Moloch: Mi ami? Ti daro' tutto. Tutto quello che desidero e' il tuo amore.", "Translation: Do you love me? I can give you everything. All I want is your love.", "Carlo: Tu hai il mio amore.", "Translation: You have my love. Moloch growls and quickly twists Carlo's head, snapping his neck.", "Cut to a church. Cut inside. The priest Thelonius is talking to a group of monks bearing torches.", "Thelonius: E fuori. E il diavolo, Molocco. E fuori nel mondo, facendo tante cose male. Abbiamo bisogno di fare il circolo.", "Translation: He's out. It is the devil, Moloch. He is out in the world, doing such bad things. We need to form the circle.", "(Transcriber's note: in this part there is a big difference between the subtitles from the episode and what was actually said, so the subtitles are included below.)", "Subtitles: It is Moloch. The Corrupter. He walks again. More and more people have fallen under his mesmerizing power. There is still time to bind him. We must form the circle.", "The monks gather around him as he opens a large book. Cut to a shot from above. The pages of the book are blank.", "Thelonius: Per potere di questo circolo di Kayless...", "Translation: By the power of the circle of Kayless...", "Cut to Moloch. He smiles as he straightens up and lets Carlo's body fall. His expression changes when he realizes something is wrong, and he looks up.", "Moloch: No! Cut back to the church.", "Thelonius: Per potere di questo circolo di Kayless, ti commando! Vieni!", "Translation: By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you! Come!", "Cut to Moloch. He begins to scream angrily. Cut to the Church.", "Thelonius: Ti commando! Vieni!", "Translation: I command you! Come!", "Cut to Moloch. He screams even more loudly in terror. Cut to the Church.", "Thelonius: VIENI!", "Translation: COME!", "Cut to Moloch. He continues to scream. Suddenly he bursts into millions of tiny particles. Cut to the Church. The particles fall into the book as the camera follows them down.", "Thelonius: Vieni, demonio! Vieni!", "Translation: Come, demon! Come! As the particles fall into the book an ancient script appears. When the pages are filled, Thelonius closes the book. He steps over to a table and puts the book into a heavy wooden box.", "Thelonius: Preghiamo che questo libro e' mai letto piu'...", "Translation: Pray that this accursed book is never again read...", "Cut to a shot of the priest from inside the box.", "Thelonius: Che il demonio Molocco e' mai lasciato piu' fuori nel mondo.", "Translation: Lest the Demon Moloch be loosed upon the world. He puts the lid on the box. Centuries later the lid is lifted off of the box, and Buffy looks in.", "Buffy: (sarcastically) Oh, great! A book!", "Cut to the library. A book-scanning project is going on, and Willow and a few other computer science students are seated at the table, scanning the books into the library's computer system. Buffy pulls the book out of the box and blows some of the dust off of it.", "Giles: Oh, uh, I, uh... haven't gone through the new arrivals. Uh, put it in, uh, (points with his book) in, in that pile.", "Dave: Here, I'll get it. He gets up from his computer.", "Buffy: Oh, thanks, Dave. The Willow pile. Dave takes the book from Buffy and goes over to the pile of books next to Willow.", "Giles: Uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.", "Ms. Calendar: Scan it, Rupert. That's scan it.", "Giles: (gives her a look) Of course.", "Ms. Calendar: Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!", "Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.", "Ms. Calendar: That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This (indicates a computer) is the good box!", "Giles: I still prefer a good book.", "Fritz: The printed page is obsolete. (stands up) Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive. (grabs his books and leaves)", "Ms. Calendar: Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people. (to Giles) Fritz, Fritz comes on a little strong, but he does have a point. You know, for the last two years more e-mail was sent than regular mail.", "Giles: Oh...", "Ms. Calendar: More digitized information went across phone lines than conversation.", "Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.", "Ms. Calendar: I'll bet it is. (to the students) Alright, guys, let's wrap it up for today.", "Willow: I've just got a few more. I'll hang for a bit.", "Ms. Calendar: Cool! Thanks! Xander grabs his bag and pulls it onto his shoulder.", "Willow: Xander, you wanna stay and help me?", "Xander: Are you kidding?", "Willow: Yes, it was a joke I made up.", "Xander: Willow, I love you, but bye! (leaves)", "Willow: (calls after him) See you tomorrow!", "Xander: Buffy, wait up!", "Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.", "Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave? Giles stops and looks back. Ms. Calendar is pleased with his reaction to her comment. He continues up the stairs.", "Cut to later. Willow is alone in the library scanning the last book. She draws the scanner over the two pages, and they appear on the screen. As she types to save the scan the script in the book disappears. Willow closes the book, puts it in the pile with the others and leaves. The computer screen goes blank and Moloch's words appear.", "Moloch: Where am I? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall at Sunnydale High School. Buffy runs to catch up with Willow as she slowly walks down the hall.", "Buffy: Willow! Willow, hey, wait up! (reaches her)", "Willow: Oh, Buffy, I didn't even see you.", "Buffy: Or hear me. What was up last night? I tried your line, like, a million times.", "Willow: Oh, I was, I was talking.", "Buffy: Talking to...? (no answer) Okay, that's it, you have a secret, and that's not allowed.", "Willow: Why not? (opens her locker)", "Buffy: 'Cause... there's a rule.", "Willow: Well, I sort of met someone.", "Buffy: I knew it! This is so important! When did you meet?", "Willow: Last week after we did the scanning project in the library?", "(closes her locker)", "Buffy: Does he go here? What's his name? Have you kissed him? What's he like?", "Willow: No, Malcolm, no, and very nice.", "Buffy: You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away!", "Willow: Well, I wasn't sure there was anything to tell. But last night, oh! We talked all night, it was amazing. He's so smart, Buffy, and, and he's romantic, and we agree about everything!", "Buffy: (sighs) What's he look like?", "Willow: I don't know!", "She continues down the hall with a big smile on her face. Buffy is confused and stares after her a moment, then starts to follow.", "Cut to the computer lab. Fritz and Dave are there, typing away.", "Dave: (to the screen) Yes, I will. I promise. Willow and Buffy come in.", "Buffy: So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?", "Willow: I met him on-line.", "Buffy: On line for what? Willow indicates a computer.", "Buffy: Oh! Ms. Calendar strides quickly into the room wearing dark glasses and holding a mug of coffee in one hand and her books in the other.", "Ms. Calendar: Morning, kids! Buffy turns to look at her. Ms. Calendar notices Buffy as she heads to her desk. She puts her mug down.", "Ms. Calendar: Buffy, are you supposed to be somewhere? (takes off her glasses)", "Buffy: No, I have a free.", "Ms. Calendar: Cool! But this is lab time, so let's make it a nice, short visit, okay?", "Buffy: Sure.", "PC: You have mail.", "Willow: It's him! (types to get the message)", "Message: I'm thinking of you.", "Willow: He's so sweet!", "Buffy: (nods) He's a sweetie. (smiles nervously)", "Willow: What should I write back?", "Buffy: Uh, Willow, I think it's really great that you have this cool pen pal, but don't you think you're kinda rushing all into this? Y'know what I mean?", "Willow: 'I'm thinking of you, too!' No, that's incredibly stupid!", "Buffy: Will, down girl! Let's focus here, okay? What do you actually know about this guy?", "Willow: Oh, see, I knew you'd react like this.", "Buffy: Like what? The camera closes in on the computer's video feed.", "Buffy: I just wanna make sure you're careful, that's all.", "Cut to the computer's view.", "Willow: Buffy...", "Buffy: He could be different than you think. The computer focuses closely on Buffy.", "Cut to an office. The computer on the desk suddenly comes on. The student records scroll by. It stops on Buffy's record and expands it.", "Cut to Fritz's PC in the lab. Buffy's record appears there. The camera pans over to Fritz as he studies her record. The screen goes blank and a message appears.", "Moloch: Watch her.", "Cut to Willow and Buffy.", "Willow: His name is Malcolm Black, he's eighteen, he lives in Elmwood, which is about eighty miles from here, and he likes me!", "Buffy: Short, tall, skinny, fat?", "Willow: Why does everything have to be about looks?", "Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he... has... a hairy back?", "Willow: Well, no! Uh, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back. And anyways, that stuff doesn't matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I'm not his ideal either.", "Buffy: Hey, I'm just trying to make sure that he's good enough for you. I think it's great that you met someone.", "Cut to Ms. Calendar at her desk. She gets up holding some papers and comes over to Fritz.", "Ms. Calendar: Hey, Fritz... I'm, uh, lookin' at the logs. You and Dave are clockin' a pretty scary amount of computer time.", "Fritz: New project.", "Ms. Calendar: Ooo, will I be excited?", "Fritz: You'll die. Cut outside to the steps. A boy is reviewing his report on his laptop.", "Boy: This isn't my report! 'Nazi Germany was a model of a well ordered society'? I didn't write that! Who's been in my files? Willow comes down the steps next to him. She's off in her own world and doesn't notice Xander coming from her right. He puts his hand over her eyes, and she's forced to stop, nearly losing her balance.", "Xander: Hup, guess who?", "Willow: Uh, Xander?", "Xander: Yeah, but keep guessing anyway.", "Willow: Xander.", "Xander: (takes his hand from her eyes) Oh, I can't fool ya, you see right through my petty charade. We goin' to the Bronze tonight?", "Willow: (smiles) Not me, I think I'm gonna call it an early night.", "Xander: Oh, Malcolm, right? (Willow smiles and nods) Yeah, I heard. But you're gonna be missin' out. I'm plannin' to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me.", "Willow: That's nice. Have a good time! (smiles and quickly leaves) He watches her go. Buffy arrives and watches her go, too.", "Buffy: She certainly looks perky.", "Xander: Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step... I don't like it. It's not healthy. (faces her) So, are you goin' to the Bronze tonight? Oh, probably not, you probably have some vampire slaying or some lame endeavor like that, don't you? Everyone deserts me. They begin to walk.", "Buffy: Check out the jealous man!", "Xander: What are you talking about?", "Buffy: You're jealous.", "Xander: Of what?", "Buffy: Willow's got a thang, and Xander's left hanging.", "Xander: Oh, that's meaningless drivel. I'm not interested in Willow like that.", "Buffy: Yeah, but you got used to being the Belle of the Ball.", "Xander: No, it's just... this Malcolm guy? What's his deal? I mean, tell me you're not slightly wigged.", "Buffy: Okay, slightly. I mean, just not knowing what he's really like.", "Xander: Or who he really is. I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student.", "Buffy: You are.", "Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?", "Buffy: (making light) I get your point! (gets his point) I get your point. Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old, or... He could be a circus freak. He's probably a circus freak!", "Xander: Yeah. I mean, we read about it all the time. Y'know, people meet on the 'Net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show, horrible ax murder.", "Buffy: Willow ax murdered by a circus freak... Okay, okay, what do we do? (realizes her paranoia) What are we doing? Xander, you get me started! We are totally overreacting!", "Xander: But it's fun, isn't it?", "Cut to the computer lab. Fritz is staring at stuff scrolling by on the screen.", "Fritz: I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in. The camera pans down to his arm where he's carving an 'M' into it.", "Fritz: I'm jacked in.", "Cut to the girls' locker room the next day. The camera follows two girls out when suddenly Willow comes barging in.", "Buffy: Whoa! You're the late girl.", "Willow: I overslept.", "Buffy: Till fifth period? Talkin' to Malcolm last night?", "Willow: Yeah. (sees Buffy's look) What?", "Buffy: Nothing.", "Willow: You're having an expression.", "Buffy: I'm not. But if I was, it'd be saying, 'This just isn't like you.'", "Willow: Not like me to have a boyfriend?", "Buffy: He's boyfriendly?", "Willow: I don't understand why you don't want me to have this. I mean, boys don't chase me around all the time. I thought you'd be happy for me.", "Buffy: I just want you to be sure. To meet him face to face. In daylight, in a crowded place with some friends. Y'know, before you become all... obsessive.", "Willow: Malcolm and I really care about each other. Big deal if I blow off a couple classes.", "Buffy: I thought you said you overslept.", "Willow: Malcolm said you wouldn't understand.", "Buffy: Malcolm was right.", "Cut to the computer lab. Buffy comes in, sees Dave and goes over to him.", "Buffy: Dave? (he's oblivious) Hey there, Dave. Anybody home? He jumps in his seat when she puts her hand on his shoulder.", "Dave: Oh, what do you want?", "Buffy: I wanted to ask you something if you have a minute.", "Dave: What is it?", "Buffy: Well, you're a computer geek... genius, and, uh, I sort of have a technical problem. If I wanted to find out something about someone, i- if someone e-mailed me, could I trace the letter?", "Dave: Well, you could pull up somebody's profile based on their user name.", "Buffy: But they write the profile themselves, right? And so they could say anything they wanted.", "Dave: True.", "Buffy: Wow! I had knowledge! (Dave smiles) Well, is there a way to find out exactly where a letter, an e-letter came from? I mean, the actual location of the computer?", "Dave: That's a challenge.", "Buffy: 'Cause, you see, Willow's got this boyfriend, Malcolm, and to tell you the truth, I think...", "Dave: (interrupting) Leave Willow alone.", "Buffy: What do you mean?", "Dave: That's none of your business.", "Buffy: (jumps to a conclusion) Dave, are you Malcolm?", "Dave: (turns back to the PC) Of course not. (types)", "Buffy: Dave, what's going on?", "Dave: Look, I'll talk to you later, okay? I've got work to do. She gets up and leaves.", "Buffy: (exhales) So do I. Fritz watches her go as she passes him.", "Cut to the library. Buffy follows Giles down the stairs to the counter.", "Buffy: I'm telling you, something is going on. It's not just Willow. Dave, Fritz, they're all wicked jumpy.", "Giles: Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is.", "Buffy: Giles, trust me.", "Giles: I-I do! I-I-I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such I'd be more in my element. Well, I-I suppose you could, um, tail Dave, see if he's up to something.", "Buffy: Follow Dave? What, in dark glasses and a trench coat? Please. I can work this out myself. Cut outside after school. Dave gets into his car, starts it and drives off. The camera pans over to Buffy wearing dark glasses and a dark coat as she watches him go.", "Cut to a front view of the CRD building. Cut to the loading dock in back. Dave drives up and gets out. Cut to outside the fence, where Buffy is looking in. She sees Dave go up to a technician and start talking to him. After a moment Dave and the technician go inside. The camera pans over to the CRD logo. Cut to a security camera turning towards Buffy.", "Cut to the view from the camera on Fritz's PC at school. It stops on Buffy and pulls in for a close-up.", "Fritz: She's too close. What do I do?", "Moloch: (on the screen) Kill her.", "Fritz: Party. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High.", "Buffy: Whatever Dave is into, it's large.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting on the table.", "Giles: What was the name of this place?", "Buffy: It said CRD. But, I couldn't get close enough to see what it was.", "Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. (gets stares from the others) What, I can't have information sometimes?", "Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.", "Xander: Well, my uncle used to work there. I-in a floor sweeping capacity.", "Buffy: But it closed?", "Xander: Uh huh.", "Buffy: Looked pretty functional from where I stood. I don't have a clue what they were doing.", "Xander: And what do they need Dave for?", "Buffy: Something about computers, right? I mean, he is off-the-chart smart.", "Giles: We still don't know an enormous amount. Whatever is going on there may be on the up-and-up.", "Xander: No, if CRD opened, it would've been on the news.", "Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.", "Giles: Your... spider sense?", "Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry.", "Giles: Yes, well, (ahem) I think we're still at a stand still. Uh, uh, short of breaking into the place, I don't see...", "Buffy: Breaking in! (slides off of the table) Then this is the plan!", "Xander: I'm free tonight!", "Buffy: Tonight it is! (goes over to Xander)", "Giles: A moment, please, of quiet reflection. I do not suggest that you illegally enter the... Ms. Calendar enters the library.", "Giles: ...data into the file so the book will be listed by title as well as by author.", "Ms. Calendar: I just came by to check your new data base, make sure your cross reference table isn't glitching. 'Cause I'm guessing you haven't gone anywhere near it.", "Giles: Uh, I'm still sorting through the chaos you left behind you.", "Ms. Calendar: Hmm. (to Buffy and Xander) You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't cha?", "Buffy: We're literary!", "Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.", "Buffy: We'll be going now. (grabs Xander and turns to leave)", "Giles: Uh, w-we'll, uh, continue this conversation at another time.", "Buffy: I think we're done. (they leave) (to Xander) Makes our speaking English is good?", "Xander: I panicked, okay?", "Cut to the computer lab. Willow is chatting on-line with Malcolm.", "Malcolm: I've never felt this way about anyone before, Willow.", "Willow: I know what you mean. I feel like you know me better than anyone.", "Malcolm: I do.", "Willow: Do you think we should... meet?", "Malcolm: I think we should soon.", "Willow: I'm nervous.", "Malcolm: I'm not. Isn't that strange?", "Willow: That's what Buffy doesn't understand, how comfortable you can make me feel.", "Malcolm: Buffy just makes trouble. That's why she got kicked out of her old school. She is puzzled and pauses for a moment.", "Willow: How did you know that?", "Malcolm: It's on her permanent record. She doesn't respond, still puzzled.", "Malcolm: You must have mentioned it.", "Willow: I guess.", "Malcolm: Let's not worry about her anymore.", "Willow: I have to sign off. I'll talk to you later.", "Malcolm: Don't.", "Willow: Bye. She turns off the monitor, gets up and leaves.", "Cut to the library.", "Ms. Calendar: (exasperated) You're a snob!", "Giles: (incredulous) I am no such thing.", "Ms. Calendar: Oh, you are a *big* snob. You, you think that knowledge should be kept in these carefully guarded repositories where only a handful of white guys can get at it.", "Giles: Nonsense! I simply don't adhere to a, a knee-jerk assumption that because something is new, it's better.", "Ms. Calendar: This isn't a fad, Rupert! We are creating a new society here.", "Giles: A society in which human interaction is all but obsolete? In which people can be completely manipulated by technology, well, well... Thank you, I'll pass.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, (ahem) I think you'll be very happy here with your musty, old books. (opens Moloch's book)", "Giles: These musty old books have a great deal more to say than in any of your... fabulous web pages.", "Ms. Calendar: Hmm. (pages through the book) This one doesn't have a whole lot more to say. Giles stares at the empty book.", "Ms. Calendar: What is it, like a diary?", "Giles: How odd. I haven't looked through all the volumes yet, I didn't, um... He closes the book and sees the etching of Moloch on the cover.", "Ms. Calendar: What is it?", "Giles: Uh, nothing, um, a, a diary, yes. I imagine that's what it is.", "(pauses to think) Well, it's been so nice talking to you. (heads to his office with the book)", "Ms. Calendar: We were fighting.", "Giles: Must do it again sometime, yes... Bye, now.", "She watches him disappear into his office. Cut outside. The school nurse is frantic as she quickly walks along with a man.", "School nurse: I checked the computer, and there's nothing in his file about being allergic to penicillin! Buffy comes walking out of the school. Dave comes up to her.", "Dave: Buffy!", "Buffy: Dave! How're you doing?", "Dave: Okay. Uh, look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, y'know?", "Buffy: Don't sweat it.", "Dave: Willow was looking for you.", "Buffy: Good, I need to talk to her. Do you know where she is?", "Dave: She said she'd be in the, in the girls' locker room.", "Buffy: Great. Thanks. She looks at him a moment, and then goes to find Willow. He watches her go.", "Cut to the girl's locker room. It's deserted. Buffy slowly walks down the aisle and into a row of lockers.", "Buffy: Will? She walks further.", "Buffy: Willow?", "Cut to Fritz in the shower. He turns the water on and leaves. Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: Will? You taking a shower? She goes to the shower and sees that it's on, but no one's there.", "Buffy: I guess not. The camera cuts to a light above and follows an electrical cord from it down to the corner of the floor in the shower. Buffy walks into the shower to turn off the water.", "Buffy: This is how droughts get started. She turns the water off. The water creeps toward the exposed wires.", "Dave: Buffy! Get out! She turns to him and notices the wires. They begin to spark. She leaps out of the shower. An arc of electricity follows her for an instant. She lands on a changing bench and rolls off onto the floor. Dave runs from the locker room. She sits up and looks over toward the showers. The camera pulls back to show the soles of her shoes smoking.", "Cut to the computer lab. It's dark. Dave comes in and turns on a PC.", "Dave: I can't do it! I'm not gonna do it.", "Moloch: But you promised.", "Dave: Buffy isn't a threat to you! Stop with it.", "Moloch: The project is almost complete. You won't have to do it again.", "Dave: (drops his bag and whimpers) Oh, I can't!", "Moloch: I've shown you a new world, Dave. Knowledge, power... I can give you everything. All I want is your love.", "Dave: No. This isn't right. None of it is. The scratch pad comes up on the screen and Moloch writes a note: I'm sorry. I've been a terrible person. I'm a coward, and I can't go on living like this. Forgive me, Mom and Dad. At least now I'll have some peace. Remember me. Love, Dave. He backs away from the computer. Fritz is waiting behind him by the window.", "Cut to the library. Buffy sits at the table while Xander paces.", "Xander: I'm gonna kill Dave!", "Buffy: He tried to warn me.", "Xander: Warn you that he set you up? (to Giles) Is she gonna be okay?", "Giles: She was only grounded for a moment. (sits and hands Buffy a mug) Still, if you'd been anyone but the Slayer...", "Buffy: Tell me the truth: how's my hair?", "Xander: It's great! It's your best hair ever! (smiles)", "Giles: Uh, oh, yes.", "Buffy: I just... I don't understand what would make Dave do a thing like that.", "Giles: I think perhaps I do. He goes over to get Moloch's book from the cage. He comes back holding it up.", "Giles: Does this look familiar to either of you?", "Buffy: Yeah, sure. Looks like a book.", "Xander: I knew that one.", "Giles: (sets it on the table) In the dark ages the souls of demons were sometimes trapped in certain volumes. They remained locked within the book, harmless, unless the pages were read aloud. Unless I'm mistaken, this is Moloch, the Corrupter. A very deadly and seductive demon. He draws people to him with promises of love, power, knowledge. Preys on impressionable minds.", "Xander: Like Dave's.", "Giles: Dave, and who knows how many others.", "Buffy: And Moloch is inside that book?", "Giles: Not anymore. (opens the book)", "Xander: You released Moloch?", "Buffy: Way to go!", "Giles: I didn't read it! That dreadful Calendar woman found it and, and it was already blank.", "Buffy: Okay, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale, and nobody's noticed?", "Xander: I-if he's so big and strong, why bother with Dave? I mean, why didn't he just attack Buffy himself?", "Giles: I don't know. And I don't know who could've read that book. It wasn't even in English.", "Buffy: Where was it?", "Giles: Uh, in a pile with others that were, um, uh, scanned. They look over at the PC.", "Xander: And that released the demon?", "Buffy: No, he's not out here. (points to the PC) He's in there.", "Giles: The scanner read the book. It brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed.", "Buffy: He's gone binary on us.", "Xander: Okay, for those of us in our studio audience, who are me? You guys are saying that Moloch is in this computer?", "Buffy: And every computer connected to it by a modem.", "Giles: He's everywhere.", "Xander: What are we gonna do?", "Giles: Willow scanned him into her file. It may be... a futile gesture, but I suggest we, um, uh, delete it.", "Buffy: Solid! She gets up and walks over to the PC.", "Xander: Don't get too close. She sits down in front of it.", "Buffy: Okay. Okay. (turns on the monitor) So which file do you think it is? Willow? (types) That's probably it, right? I'll just delete the whole thing. She drags the file icon to the trash bin, and inhales in fright when Moloch's demonic face appears on the screen.", "Moloch: Stay away from Willow! It is none of your business! The screen returns to normal.", "Buffy: So that's what Malcolm looks like.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library.", "Buffy: So much for delete file.", "Giles: This is very bad.", "Xander: Are we overreacting? He's in a computer! What can he do?", "Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?", "Giles: Randomize traffic signals.", "Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.", "Giles: Destroy the world's economy.", "Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.", "Giles: Right, yours was best.", "Xander: Okay, he's a threat, I'm on board with that now. But what can we do about it?", "Buffy: I think the first thing we do is find Willow. She's probably talking to him right now. God, that creeps me out!", "Xander: What does he want with Willow?", "Buffy: Let's never find out. (gets up) Okay, I'm gonna check the computer lab, and you guys call her home.", "Cut to the computer lab. Buffy comes in and looks around. It's dark.", "Buffy: Willow? The PC's suddenly all come on, startling her. She backs further into the room while looking around more. She turns around and jumps as she bumps into Dave. He's hanging from the ceiling with the note pinned to his shirt.", "Cut to the library. Xander is on the phone trying to reach Willow. He gives up.", "Xander: No answer.", "Giles: Damn it!", "Xander: (hangs up) Well, it wasn't busy either, so she's not on-line. Buffy comes back into the library.", "Xander: (to Buffy) She's not home.", "Giles: What did you find?", "Xander: Willow isn't...", "Buffy: Dave. He's dead.", "Giles: How?", "Buffy: Well, it looks like suicide.", "Xander: With a little help from my friends?", "Buffy: I'd guess Fritz. Or the other zomboids from CRD. Okay, (to Xander) you and I are gonna go to Willow's house. Giles, you need to come up with a way to get Moloch out of the 'Net.", "Giles: I, I have records of the ceremonies, but, but that's for a creature of the flesh. Th-this could be something completely different.", "Buffy: Then get Ms. Calendar. Maybe she can help you.", "Giles: Well, even if she could, how am I gonna convince her that there's a demon on the Internet?", "Buffy: Okay, fine, then you can stay here and come up with a better plan. (to Xander) C'mon.", "Cut to Willow's house. She's coming home. She unlocks the door and goes in. Cut inside.", "Willow: Mom? Dad? She closes the door. Cut to her room. She dumps her book bag on the bed and opens it.", "PC: You have mail. Willow looks at her PC. The mail icon in active. She goes over to her desk, types, clicks on the icon and opens the new message folder.", "Message: No more waiting. I need you to see me. She turns off her monitor and goes back to her bag. The monitor comes back on by itself again.", "PC: You have mail. Willow stares at it in disbelief. The doorbell rings, and after another look at her computer she goes to answer it. Cut to the front door.", "Willow: Dad, did you forget your keys again? She opens the door, but no one's there. She turns to go back in. As she starts to close the door behind her Fritz reaches around her head with a cloth splashed with chloroform. After a brief struggle Willow goes unconscious.", "Fritz: No more waiting.", "Cut to the library. Giles is researching and listening to the radio.", "Radio: A spokesman for the archbishop denied the allegations, blaming computer error for the apparent financial discrepancy.", "Giles: Binding rituals...", "Radio: In Washington D.C., the FBI today reported that all of its serial killer profiles have been mysteriously downloaded from its central computer. Ms. Calendar knocks on the door.", "Ms. Calendar: Hi. I got your message. What's so urgent?", "Giles: (turns off the radio and gets up) Um, thank you for coming. Uh, I need your help. (laughs nervously) But before that, um, I need you to believe something that, um, you may not want to. Uh, there's, uh... something's got into the, um... i-i-inside, um... (takes a breath and lets it out) There's a demon in the Internet.", "Ms. Calendar: I know. Giles is surprised to hear that.", "Cut to Willow's house. Buffy and Xander arrive and find the door open.", "Buffy: Willow?! Cut inside.", "Xander: This isn't good.", "Buffy: Willow?! They come in and head for Willow's room. Cut to Willow's room.", "Buffy: Willow?! They walk into the room and see that Willow isn't there.", "Xander: Okay, any thoughts? Buffy looks around and sees the message on the computer.", "Buffy: (reads) 'No more waiting, I need you to see me'? (to Xander) See him how? Where?", "Xander: What about CRD?", "Buffy: The research place?", "Xander: I'm guessing that's Moloch central.", "Buffy: Guessing that's our best lead. Let's just hope Giles can back us up. They leave.", "Cut to the library. Giles unfolds his arms and gets up from the table.", "Giles: You already know? How exactly is that?", "Ms. Calendar: Come on, there've been portents for days. I mean, power surges, on-line shutdowns... You should see the bones I've been casting. I *knew* this would happen sooner or later. I mean, it's probably a, a mischief demon, y'know, like Kelkor, or...", "Giles: It's Moloch.", "Ms. Calendar: The Corrupter? Oh, boy. (exhales) I shoulda remembered, I just don't...", "Giles: Uh... You don't seem exactly surprised by... Who are you?", "Ms. Calendar: I teach computer science at the local high school.", "Giles: A profession that hardly lends itself to the casting of bones.", "Ms. Calendar: Wrong and wrong, snobby. You think the realm of the mystical is limited to ancient texts and relics? That bad old science made the magic go away? Mm. The divine exists in cyberspace same as out here.", "Giles: Are you a witch?", "Ms. Calendar: Mm. I don't have that kinda power. 'Technopagan' is the term. Giles lets out a chuckle.", "Ms. Calendar: There are more of us than you think.", "Giles: Well, uh, you can definitely help me. (gets the book) Um... What's in cyberspace at the moment is less than divine. They go out into the main area.", "Giles: I have the binding rituals at hand, but I'm completely out of my idiom.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, I can help! I think... I hope, I mean, well, (sits at the PC) this is my first real... Do you know how he got in?", "Giles: He was, uh, 'scanned' is the term, I believe.", "Ms. Calendar: And you want him back in the book? The phone rings. Giles goes to get it.", "Giles: Buffy!", "Buffy: (cut to a pay phone outside CRD) Yeah.", "Giles: Willow?", "Buffy: Not at home. It looks like she was taken somewhere.", "Giles: (cut to him) Where are you?", "Buffy: (cut to her) CRD. Whatever Moloch wants Willow for, it's probably in there.", "Giles: (cut to him) Ms. Calendar and I are, uh, working to get Moloch off-line.", "Buffy: (cut to her) Here's a tip: hurry! (hangs up)", "Cut to a lab inside CRD. It's dark. Willow is lying on a table unconscious. She wakes up. After a moment she sits up and looks around. She sees Fritz and a technician standing there, and beyond them a computer monitor. The camera begins to close on the monitor.", "Moloch: Welcome, my love. The camera starts to close on Willow. The camera closes on the monitor again.", "Moloch: I can't tell you how good it is to see you... The camera closes in on Willow's terrified face. Cut to the monitor. A metal hand slaps down on it. The camera pans up to Moloch's face. A robot body has been built for him.", "Moloch: ...with my own two eyes. Willow is breathing hard and is very afraid. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4~~~~~~~~~~ The lab at CRD. Willow is terrified.", "Moloch: Willow.", "Willow: (whispers) Malcolm. Fritz and the technician come to get her and take her by the arms. Moloch slowly comes closer.", "Moloch: This world is so new, so exciting. I can see all of it. Everything flows through me. I know the secrets of your kings. But nothing compares to having form again. To be able to walk, (puts his hand on Fritz's head) to touch, (breaks Fritz's neck) to kill. Willow watches Fritz's dead body fall. She looks back up at Moloch. Cut outside. Buffy lands on the other side of the fence. Xander yells as he falls after climbing over the top. Buffy helps him up.", "Xander: Back way?", "Buffy: Back way. They make for the back entrance. Xander is limping badly. Cut inside. Buffy kicks the doors open. She walks in determinedly.", "Cut to the lab.", "Moloch: Here they come.", "Cut to the library. Ms. Calendar is lighting candles.", "Ms. Calendar: The first thing we have to do is form the circle of Kayless. Right?", "Giles: Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line.", "Ms. Calendar: You're not getting it, Rupert. We have to form the circle inside. (sits at the PC) I'm putting out a flash. I just hope enough of my group responds.", "Giles: Won't Moloch just shut you down?", "Ms. Calendar: Well, I'm betting he won't figure out what we're doing until it's too late.", "Giles: Hoping and betting, that's what we've got.", "Ms. Calendar: You wanna throw in praying? Be my guest.", "Cut to the lab at CRD.", "Willow: I don't understand. What do you want from me?", "Moloch: I want to give you the world.", "Willow: Why?", "Moloch: You created me. I brought these humans together to build me a body. But *you* gave me life. Took me out of the book that held me. I want to repay you.", "Willow: By lying to me? By pretending to be a person? Pretending you loved me?", "Moloch: I do!", "Cut to the lobby. Buffy and Xander walk up to the guard. He gets up to stop them, but she punches him out and continues. Xander notices the guard's monitor.", "Xander: Uh, Buffy! She comes back to look.", "Buffy: It's her!", "Xander: Yeah, who's the other guy?", "Cut to the lab.", "Moloch: Don't you see? I can give you everything! I can control the world! Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life. Good for him!", "Cut to another hall. Buffy and Xander come through the doors. She finds the door to the lab and tries to force it open.", "Buffy: I can't bust it. It's heavy steel.", "Xander: Then let's find another way in. He starts toward the next set of doors when an alarm goes off and red lights flash. Xander jumps to the door to try it. It's locked. He comes back.", "Xander: What's goin' on? Buffy spies a security camera.", "Buffy: Building's security system is computerized.", "Xander: Whoops! A gas begins to spray into the hall. Cut to the library.", "Ms. Calendar: Almost there.", "Giles: Couldn't you just stop Moloch by, by entering some computer virus?", "Ms. Calendar: You've seen way too many movies. Okay! We're up. You read, I type. Ready?", "Giles: Uh, I am. By the power of the divine, by the essence of the word, I command you...", "Cut to the hall at CRD. Buffy and Xander are pounding on the doors. Xander begins to cough. Cut into the lab.", "Willow: Let me leave?", "Moloch: But I love you!", "Willow: Don't say that! That's a joke! You don't love anything!", "Moloch: You are mine!", "Willow: I'm not yours! I'm never gonna be yours! Never! Moloch lowers his head and considers for a moment while Willow just watches and waits. He raises his head again.", "Moloch: Pity.", "Cut to the library.", "Giles: By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you... (sees her typing) Kayless, with a 'K'.", "Cut to the hall. Xander slides down the wall to the floor, almost unconscious. Buffy is still weakly hitting the door.", "Cut to the lab. Moloch has Willow cornered. He reaches up and puts his hand on her head.", "Moloch: I'll miss you. Willow screams. Cut to the library.", "Giles: Demon, come!", "Cut to the lab. Moloch screams and lifts his arms in pain, letting go of Willow. He begins to writhe. Cut to the library.", "Giles: I command you!", "Cut to the lab. Buffy comes in though the door with Xander close behind. She leaps into a jumping side kick, making a dull thud when she connects with Moloch's chest, but he only staggers a bit, and she just falls to the floor.", "Buffy: Ow... Guy's made of metal! The technician grabs Xander from behind and pulls him away. Buffy quickly gets up and looks at Willow while Moloch continues to writhe in pain.", "Moloch: No! I won't go back! Buffy grabs Willow's hand and they run out of the lab. Cut to the library.", "Giles: Demon, COME!", "Cut to the lab. Moloch continues to scream. Cut to the library. The computer sparks several times. Cut to the lab. Xander pushes the technician back into a wall, turns around and punches him out. He quickly follows the girls out.", "Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone! Moloch falls to his knees. Cut to the library. Wind is blowing inside and the computer monitor is flashing. Cut to the lab. Moloch screams loudly. Cut to the library. Giles and Ms. Calendar watch the screen flicker. Cut to the lab. Moloch's screams die out. Cut to the library. The computer monitor stops flashing. Smoke comes out of the back of the monitor.", "Ms. Calendar: He's out of the 'Net. He's bound. Giles goes over to the book, picks it up and opens it to look.", "Giles: He's not in the book.", "Ms. Calendar: (gets up and looks at it also) He's not in the book. Well, where is he?", "Cut to the lab. Moloch slowly raises his head. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Willow open a set of doors and see a guard and two technicians running toward them. They push the doors closed.", "Xander: Let's go this way! (begins to run the other way)", "Buffy: Wait! Xander is still limping heavily. Suddenly Moloch crashes through the wall between them. He looks at Xander and backhands him in the face. Xander falls to the floor unconscious. Moloch turns and advances on the girls. He starts to swing at Buffy and she tries to block the hit, but he doesn't budge and just pushes her aside and into the wall. She slides to the floor, a bit dazed.", "Moloch: I was omnipotent. I was everything! Now I'm trapped in this shell! He reaches out to grab her by the head.", "Willow: Malcolm! Moloch turns to face her. She has a fire extinguisher.", "Willow: Remember me, your girlfriend?! She pounds the extinguisher into his chest hard enough to make him bend back.", "Willow: Well, I think it's time we break up! She hits him again even harder.", "Willow: Or maybe we can still be friends! She tries again for his face, but this time he grabs the extinguisher from her and throws it down. He grabs her and shoves her down the hall into Xander, who's just getting up again. They both crash to the floor. Buffy has recovered from her daze and gets up to face Moloch. He turns his attention on her.", "Moloch: This body's all I have left. But it's enough to crush you! Buffy looks around for a way to deal with him. She notices a power junction box on the wall. She faces him again and eases her way in front of the box.", "Buffy: Take your best shot. Moloch rears back for a punch and swings. Buffy ducks away, and he punches right into the electrical box. It shorts out, and Moloch is enveloped by high voltage electricity. Buffy runs over to Willow and Xander and crouches down to protect them. Moloch's circuitry overloads, and his body explodes. His head lands right in front of them.", "Cut to the school the next day. Cut to the computer lab. Ms. Calendar is standing at her desk and typing on her PC. Giles comes in, clears his throat and knocks on the open door. She turns to see who's there.", "Ms. Calendar: (smiles) Well, look who's here! Welcome to my world. (with a bit of an attitude) You scared?", "Giles: I'm remaining calm, thank you. Uh, I just wanted to, uh, return this. (holds up a small curly earring) I found it among the new books, and naturally I thought of you.", "Ms. Calendar: Cool. Thanks. (takes it)", "Giles: Uh, well, I'll, I'll see you anon. (begins to go)", "Ms. Calendar: Can't get outta here fast enough, can you?", "Giles: (comes back in) Truthfully, I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer. Giles is at a loss.", "Ms. Calendar: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?", "Giles: The smell.", "Ms. Calendar: Computer's don't smell, Rupert.", "Giles: I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and, and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it... it has no, no texture, no, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um... smelly.", "Ms. Calendar: Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?", "Giles: Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.", "Ms. Calendar: That's not where I dangle it. She walks past him and smiles. Giles follows her with his gaze and looks puzzled. Cut outside to the fountain. Xander and Buffy are trying to cheer up Willow.", "Xander: We gonna go to the Bronze tonight? We three?", "Buffy: It'll be fun!", "Xander: Yeah, Willow, fun? Remember fun? That thing where you smile?", "(smiles)", "Willow: Oh, I'm sorry guys. I'm just thinking about...", "Buffy: Malcolm?", "Willow: Malcolm, Moloch... whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?", "Buffy: It doesn't say anything about you.", "Willow: I mean, I thought I was really falling..." ]

[ "After Principal Flutie 's death, the new sheriff in Sunnydale High, Principal Snyder , forces Buffy and her friends to participate in the school talent show. When a girl's heart is harvested, Buffy suspects a fellow student and his strangely talkative dummy ." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Backstage in the Sunnydale High School auditorium. Emily is doing ballet stretching exercises. The camera shows her from the demon's point of view as he observes her from low to the floor.", "Demon: (exhales) I will be whole. I will be new. (exhales) The camera moves through the backstage area. A number of students are practicing their acts. Among them are Lisa playing her tuba and Marc rehearsing his magic act. The camera eventually reaches Morgan and his dummy, Sid. Morgan rubs his temples a moment and then looks around. Cut to the stage. Cordelia is singing \"The Greatest Love of All\" off key.", "Cordelia: Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. I decided long ago...", "Cut to Giles in the seats. He does *not* want to be there.", "Cordelia: ...never to walk in anyone's shadow. (cut to Cordelia) If I fail, if I succeed, at least...", "Giles: (interrupts) Thank you, Cordelia. Tha-that's going to be lovely.", "Cordelia: But I didn't do the part with the sparklers!", "Giles: Um, w-we'll, um... save that for the dress rehearsal. (anxious to get rid of her) Uh, Lisa! Please!", "Cordelia: Uhhh! She puts the microphone back on its stand and leaves the stage as Lisa sets up with her tuba. Cut back to Giles as Lisa begins her solo. He rubs his eyes. Buffy, Willow and Xander come down the center aisle.", "Buffy: (draws a breath) If it isn't the great producer! They go into the seats and sit around Giles.", "Xander: Had to see this to believe it.", "Giles: Oh. You three.", "Buffy: The school talent show. How ever did you finagle such a primo assignment?", "Giles: Our new Führer, Mr. Snyder.", "Willow: I think they call 'em 'principals' now.", "Giles: Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to (draws a breath) minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it.", "Buffy: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.", "Giles: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped.", "Buffy: Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch!", "Xander: And mock!", "Willow: And laugh! They all laugh.", "Buffy: O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls a show. The three of them get up and start back up the aisle. Principal Snyder is waiting there for them.", "Buffy: Principal Snyder!", "Snyder: So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of.", "Buffy: No! No, we don't. W-unless you do.", "Snyder: And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday.", "Buffy: Yeah, but we were fighting a demon...", "Snyder: Fighting?", "Buffy: Not fighting.", "Xander: No, we, uh, left to *avoid* fighting.", "Snyder: Real anti-social types. You need to integrate into this school, people. (crosses his arms) I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show.", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: No!", "Willow: Please?", "Snyder: I've been watching you three. Always getting into one scrape or another.", "Buffy: Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us...", "Snyder: (interrupts) My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in *my* world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time. He starts past them down toward the stage.", "Xander: Can I just mention, that detention is a time-honored form of punishment? Buffy nods vigorously in agreement.", "Snyder: I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At. He continues down to the stage. Xander can't believe this. He points up with both index fingers and sits down in a seat.", "Xander: No! Buffy spaces out and moans. She goes back into Giles' row, sits next to him and looks to him for sympathy. He has none to give, and tries to hide a smirk. The tuba solo is over. Willow just stands there with a big frown on her face.", "Giles: (to Lisa) Thank you! The next act sets up. It's Morgan with his dummy, Sid.", "Buffy: Ewww, dummy!", "Xander: (sees a mime and jumps in his seat) Dyow! Mime!", "Willow: (sits behind Buffy) I think dummies are cute. You don't?", "Buffy: Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little.", "Willow: What happened?", "Buffy: I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there.", "Morgan: (on stage) Hi. I'm Morgan. (moves the dummy's head) And I'm Sid! He is an awful ventriloquist, and Giles winces. Buffy raises her eyebrows and stares in disbelief.", "Morgan: (as Sid) Hey Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes? (as himself) Would I! (as Sid) As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose, and a wood mouth! Willow can't believe his act either. Morgan laughs nervously for Sid. Buffy looks at Giles. He takes off his glasses.", "Morgan: (as Sid) I didn't sleep at all last night.", "Sid: Alright, time out. Let's stop this before someone gets hurt. (to Morgan) Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move. Buffy starts to giggle. Giles looks up again and puts his glasses back on, intrigued now that he sees he may have at least one good act.", "Morgan: C'mon, Sid. You're spoiling my act. I worked on these jokes for weeks.", "Sid: You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material. A few students have gathered at the edge of the stage to watch Morgan's act and laugh.", "Sid: And they're edible! More laughs from the students. Buffy, Willow and Xander are into it now, too.", "Giles: There, you see? I'm sure you three can come up with something... equally exciting. Sid smiles.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. Emily is changing back into her regular clothes. She puts her ballet outfit and shoes into her locker and closes it. She hears a noise.", "Emily: Is anybody there? She walks to the end of the row of lockers and peeks around the corner.", "Emily: Hello? She walks around to the next row of lockers. No one's there. The demon exhales as it watches her from low to the floor.", "Emily: Hello? She continues down the row toward the showers. The demon comes up behind her. Emily turns and screams. Fade to black.", "Demon: I will be flesh! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The talent show tryouts.", "Marc: I reach into the hat, and out... comes... He lifts the hat and looks around frantically.", "Marc: Has anybody seen a rabbit? He begins to search along the floor. The camera follows Elliot as he juggles and walks past Marc toward Lisa, then it follows her for a few steps. The camera pulls back to Xander, Willow and Buffy practicing a dramatic scene. Xander poses with his right arm in the air to begin his line.", "Xander: I can't do this!", "Buffy: Xander, come on.", "Xander: I, I can't! I have my pride! Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this! He goes over to the steps at the side of the stage to sit. Willow follows him.", "Willow: A dramatic scene is the easiest way to get through the talent show, because it doesn't require an actual talent. (sits above him)", "Xander: But we have talent. We can do stuff. Buffy, uh...", "Buffy: (also sitting now) What am I gonna do? Slay vampires on stage?", "Willow: Maybe in a funny way!", "Xander: Willow, you can do stuff. Uh, the piano...", "Buffy: You play?", "Willow: A little.", "Buffy: Well, that's cool. You can accompany us and we can *attempt* to sing.", "Willow: Oh, i-in front of other people? Then, no, I don't play...", "Xander: Whatever happened to corporal punishment? Sid whistles at the girls. Xander, Buffy and Willow look at him and Morgan.", "Sid: Mm, mm, mm. Look at the goodies! Morgan looks embarrassed. Willow gets up and goes over to him.", "Willow: Morgan, you're really getting good! Where did you come up with that voice?", "Morgan: It's kind of an imitation of my dad.", "Buffy: Sounds real!", "Sid: It is real. I'm the one with the talent here. The kid's dead weight. (to Willow) How about you and I do a little rehearsin' on our own, honey?", "Xander: Uh, hey!", "Sid: You know what they say: once you go wood, nothin's as good!", "Buffy: Okay, Morgan. We get the joke. Horny dummy, ha, ha, it's very funny, but you might wanna consider getting some new schtick. Unless you want your prop ending up as a Duraflame log. Morgan and Sid exchange a look.", "Cut to a view of the seats from above. Principal Snyder and Giles come in through the doors at the back of the auditorium. The camera slowly pans down to them as they walk down the aisle.", "Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.", "Giles: I, I think perhaps it was a little more complex than, um...", "Snyder: This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous cheerleader combustion... You can't put up with that. You've gotta keep an eye on the bad element. They reach the stage and stop. The camera has closed in on them. Snyder nods up towards the stage.", "Snyder: Like those three.", "Cut to Buffy, Willow and Xander practicing their dramatic scene. Cut to Snyder.", "Snyder: Kids. I don't like them. From now on you're gonna see a very different Sunnydale High. Tight ship, clean, orderly, (faces Giles) and quiet.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. A girl screams loudly when she discovers Emily's body.", "Cut to later as the paramedics prepare the body for transport. Giles comes out of the locker room into the hall. He ducks under the yellow police tape and goes over to the team.", "Giles: (clears his throat) It was Emily.", "Willow: Emily. Dancer Emily?", "Xander: Oh, man! I hate this school.", "Giles: Uh, it must have happened just after, uh, dress rehearsals. There was a cross-country meet at Melville. She, she, she never showed up for it.", "Buffy: Vampire?", "Giles: Um, I think not.", "Buffy: Giles, share! What happened?", "Giles: (exhales) Her heart was removed.", "Willow: Yikes!", "Buffy: Does that mean anything to you? Besides (shudders) ooooooo?", "Giles: Uh... (exhales) There are various demons which, which feed off human hearts, but... They look back and see the knife being put into an evidence bag.", "Buffy: But demons have claws. And teeth.", "Xander: They got no use for a big old knife.", "Giles: Which more than likely makes our murderer...", "Buffy: Human.", "Xander: Did I mention that I *hate* this school?", "Willow: So Emily was killed by a regular human person.", "Giles: The evidence certainly points that way.", "Buffy: No, wait. I-I'm not buying, you guys. Remember the Hellmouth? Mystical activity is totally rife here. This to me says demon.", "Giles: I'd like to think you're right. A demon is a creature of evil, pure and very simple. A person driven to kill is, is, um, it's more complex.", "Willow: The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me! (gets looks from them all) It's not, though.", "Giles: Uh, demon or no, we have some investigating to do. I suggest we start with your... your talent show compatriots. One of them may have been the last to see her alive.", "Cut to the band room. Buffy is interviewing Lisa.", "Lisa: I didn't know her too well. There's that whole dancer/band rivalry, y'know?", "Buffy: I've heard about that.", "Lisa: But I did speak to her a little the day that... yesterday.", "Buffy: How did she seem?", "Cut to outside, where Giles is interviewing Marc as he shuffles a deck of cards.", "Marc: She was happy. I guess. She was psyched to be doing the show. She was a really good dancer. Here, pick a card.", "Giles: Uh, um... (reaches for a card)", "Marc: No, wai-wai-wai-wait. Not that one. Pick this one.", "Giles: (takes the card) Do you remember the last time you saw her?", "Marc: She was talkin' to someone.", "Giles: Who?", "Cut to a classroom. Willow and Elliot come in.", "Elliot: That smart guy. The one with the dummy. What's his name?", "Willow: Morgan?", "Elliot: Yeah, that's it. He was actin' kinda strange.", "Willow: Strange how? Cut outside to cheerleader practice. Xander is talking to Cordelia.", "Cordelia: It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was, like, my best friend.", "Xander: Emily.", "Cut to the band room.", "Lisa: Well, Morgan's just strange. He's always rubbing his head a lot and moaning. Especially the other day. Cut outside.", "Marc: He seemed kinda paranoid... Lookin' around at everyone...", "Cut to the classroom.", "Elliot: And I think I saw him arguing... with his dummy. Cut outside.", "Cordelia: All I can think is, it coulda been me!", "Xander: We can dream.", "Cut to the auditorium. Buffy comes in through the front side door. She looks around and walks over to the stage. She sees Sid on a stool, facing the curtain.", "Sid: (to Morgan offstage) Right now you and me gotta be on the lookout. Figure out who's gonna be next.", "Morgan: (comes on stage) How are we supposed to... (sees Buffy) Oh, hi.", "Buffy: Hello.", "Morgan: I was just working on throwing my voice. (walks upstage)", "Buffy: Uh, Morgan, did you notice anything weird going on around here yesterday?", "Morgan: (gathers Sid up) Weird? What d'you mean? (goes down the steps from the stage)", "Buffy: With Emily. Did she say anything to you, was she arguing with anyone?", "Morgan: (goes over to Sid's case) No. She was dancing. (opens the case) Sid and I were talking.", "Buffy: Talking.", "Morgan: Rehearsing.", "Buffy: So, you didn't notice anything weird at... He holds his hand to his forehead in pain and sits down.", "Morgan: Ohhh!", "Buffy: Morgan, are you okay?", "Sid: Look, sweetheart! He answered your question. Now leave him alone! Morgan's pain has subsided, and he looks up at Buffy.", "Buffy: Okay, Morgan, how 'bout talking to me yourself now?", "Sid: He said all he's gonna say. Morgan looks nervously between Buffy and Sid. He gets up.", "Morgan: It's okay, Sid. We're done. (puts Sid in his case)", "Buffy: I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean to make you mad.", "Morgan: No! I'm... (quietly) It's him! (indicates Sid) He's... (closes the case) We have to go. (grabs the case and leaves)", "Buffy: (taken aback) Cute couple.", "Cut to the library. Willow, Buffy and Xander come in.", "Xander: Okay, next time we split up someone else is on Cordy detail. Five more minutes with her and we woulda had another organ donor.", "Willow: I think I had a bit more luck. Everyone I talked to seemed to point their fingers at the same person. They all come into Giles' office.", "Buffy: Morgan?", "Willow: Morgan.", "Xander: We have a winner!", "Giles: I fear I was led to the same conclusion.", "Xander: Well, what do we do? We don't slay him, right? We wanna bring him to justice.", "Willow: We could set up a complex sting operation where we get him to confess!", "Xander: Uh, I should wear a wire!", "Buffy: Whoa, hey, you guys, all we know is that Morgan is a grade A large weirdo. That doesn't lead directly to murderer.", "Xander: Guy talks to his puppet!", "Willow: And for his puppet.", "Buffy: Well, yeah, but what about the whole 'it's a demon' theory?", "Giles: I'm looking into that, but, uh, my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.", "Buffy: Uh, priority check, Giles? (weighs the two with her hands) Talent show, murder.", "Xander: Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!", "Giles: Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.", "Buffy: This is so unfair.", "Giles: Buffy, you, uh, watch Morgan. Check his locker, see if there's anything there.", "Willow: Like a heart?", "Giles: Or something.", "Buffy: Alright.", "Willow: I'll pull up his locker number. (goes to the PC)", "Xander: Can I still wear a wire?", "Cut to the hall after school. Buffy quietly comes through the doors from the stairwell, looking around to see if anyone's there. She passes a door. It opens, but Buffy doesn't see it, only hears the sound. Cut to a shot of her through the door from low to the floor. She twists around to look behind her toward the sound, but doesn't realize it was the door that's now ajar. She goes back to looking for Morgan's locker and finds it. She starts to work the combination.", "Buffy: Okay... Two to the left, three to the right... She looks in both directions again, and then slams her palm into the lock. When she takes her hand away there's a clean hole. She reaches in with her fingers and undoes the latch. She looks around in the locker, and is about to take Sid's case out when Principal Snyder grabs her hand from behind, startling her.", "Buffy: Principal Snyder!", "Snyder: What are you doing?", "Buffy: Uh, looking for something.", "Snyder: School hours are over. You, therefore, should be gone.", "Buffy: And I'm going any minute now. (laughs nervously)", "Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking.", "Buffy: Well, I don't do any of those things. Not... ever.", "Snyder: (suspicious) There's something going on with you. I'll figure it out sooner or later. (Buffy smiles) Do you need something here?", "Buffy: Oh! (looks into the locker) Yeah! Right! Um, a friend wanted me to get something... out of his case! She pulls the case partially out of the locker, opens it and is surprised to find it empty. She quickly closes it and looks at Snyder.", "Buffy: He must've taken it and just forgotten to tell me.", "Snyder: Mm-hmm. Morgan and Sid see what's going on from behind the door.", "Snyder: Get along home now. It's late. He turns and heads down the hall. Buffy watches him go.", "Cut to the stage. Sid is in the chair. Morgan paces.", "Morgan: No, I can't do it!", "Sid: It's the only way.", "Morgan: I don't want...", "Sid: She's the one.", "Morgan: But...", "Sid: You saw what she did, how strong she is.", "Morgan: I know, but...", "Sid: She's the last! Just this one more, and I'll be free.", "Morgan: I won't.", "Sid: I will!", "Cut to Buffy's room at home. Her mom knocks on the door and comes in.", "Joyce: Hi, hon. How's it, uh, going with the talent show?", "Buffy: It'll be over soon.", "Joyce: (lets out a laugh) It can't be that bad! I, for one, am looking forward to seeing your act.", "Buffy: Seeing? I-in the sense of actually attending?", "Joyce: Of course!", "Buffy: Uh-uh! No, Mom, y-y-you can't! And, I mean, if I know you're out there watching, I'll freeze up, stage fright.", "Joyce: But I wanna support what you're doing!", "Buffy: Look, Mom, if you really love me, and wanna show your support, you'll stay away. Far away.", "Joyce: Honey, is there, uh... Is there something bothering you? I-I mean, besides your fabulous debut.", "Buffy: Nothing. There's just a lot going on right now.", "Joyce: Well. Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning.", "Buffy: Good plan. Joyce leaves the room and closes the door behind her. Buffy gets into bed. The camera follows her hand as she reaches over to turn off her lamp in front of the window. When it goes out Sid is there looking in. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's sleeping. She wakes to the sound of quick, light footsteps and sits up. More footsteps. She sees something go under her bed and leans over the edge to look underneath. Nothing. She comes back up and sees Sid there, screams, and knocks him off of the bed. Sid runs away. Buffy quickly gets out of bed as her mother rushes into the room and turns on the light.", "Joyce: Honey, what is it?", "Buffy: (comes over to her mom, frightened) In the bed, in the covers there's something!", "Joyce: Where? They go to the bed to investigate.", "Buffy: There's something there. Joyce grabs the covers and goes through them.", "Joyce: Well, well, there, there's nothing there now. Are, are you sure you didn't have a nightmare?", "Buffy: No! There's some... There is... (exhales and puts her hands on her head) Yeah... You're probably right. (exhales and drops her hands) I'm sorry I got you up.", "Joyce: Don't worry about it. I was dreaming about bills. (kisses Buffy's forehead) Sweetheart, you shouldn't (points) go to sleep with the window open. She touches her daughter's cheek, then leaves the room. Buffy looks at her window.", "Buffy: (confused) I didn't.", "Cut to Sunnydale High School.", "Marc: And my lovely assistant steps into the box...", "Cut to the stage in the auditorium. Marc's assistant steps into the box. He closes the door and turns it around.", "Marc: And... behold! He opens the box, but his assistant is still there.", "Marc: You were supposed to leave! Xander and Willow are in the seats watching and laughing. Marc closes the door to the box and butts his head against it. Giles comes out from backstage with Cordelia close behind.", "Cordelia: I don't understand why I... why I have to follow Brett and his stupid band.", "Giles: Because we have to clear their equipment before the finale. I told you.", "Cordelia: But the mood! It'll be all wrong! (gets in front of him and stops him) My song is about dignity and human feelings and personal... hygiene or something. Anyway, it's sappy, and no one is gonna be feeling sappy after all that Rock and Roll. Giles doesn't want to hear it. He gives Cordelia a look like something's wrong.", "Cordelia: Uhhh, what?", "Giles: Oh! I'm sorry. Um, your hair, uh...", "Cordelia: There's something wrong with my hair? (pulls it behind her ears) Giles remains silent, but continues to stare.", "Cordelia: Ohmigod! (quickly leaves)", "Giles: (to himself) Xander was right. It worked like a charm. He sees Buffy come down the aisle and goes over to her.", "Giles: Hello. You look a bit worse for, uh... Buffy heads into the seats to Willow and Xander. Giles follows.", "Giles: What exactly are you the worse for?", "Buffy: Where's Morgan? (sits)", "Giles: Uh, I, I... haven't seen him.", "Xander: Did he do something to you?", "Buffy: No, it was his... Sid, the dummy. She suddenly has Giles' full attention.", "Buffy: Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this... I think Sid was in my room last night.", "Willow: With Morgan?", "Buffy: No. He was alone. And alive.", "Xander: Did you see him?", "Buffy: Well, I saw something. I-it ran across my floor, under my bed and then it attacked me.", "Giles: Attacked you? How?", "Buffy: It was like it pounced on my face.", "Xander: Like a cat.", "Buffy: Yeah, exactly! But when I turned the lights on it was already gone. I-I think it went out my window.", "Xander: Like a cat.", "Buffy: Yeah! No! It was Sid, the dummy.", "Giles: Or possibly the nightmare of somebody who had... dummies on her mind.", "Willow: You did say they creep you out.", "Buffy: Excuse me? Can I have a *little* support here, please? I'm not just some crazy person, I'm the Slayer.", "Xander: The dummy Slayer? (gets a look from Buffy) There's nothing funny about that.", "Willow: Well, on the side of the 'Morgan's just crazy' theory there is, (sees Morgan go by carrying Sid) well, Morgan. Morgan opens Sid's case.", "Buffy: I'd like to see Morgan without his better half for a few minutes. Bet he could tell me something. Morgan sits down with Sid on his lap.", "Giles: Oh, uh, i-if it's any consolation, I... I may have found a possible demon culprit. (holds up a book) The-there's a reference in here to a brotherhood of seven demons who take, uh, the form of young humans. Every seven years these demons need human organs, a-a-a brain and a heart, to maintain their humanity. Otherwise they, they, they revert back to their original form, which is, uh, uh, slightly less appealing. He hands Xander the book open to a sketch of one of the demons.", "Willow: So Morgan could still be the guy, only demon Morgan instead of crazy Morgan. Morgan fusses with Sid's shoes.", "Giles: It's said that these demons are, are, are preternaturally strong, and, and, and... Morgan is, is... Well, he seems to be getting weaker every day. Morgan puts his hand on his head. Buffy observes him.", "Cut to history class. Mrs. Jackson lectures as she walks around the room.", "Mrs. Jackson: It was as a result of this that President Monroe put forth the eponymous, meaning named after one's self, Monroe Doctrine, which in one sense established the U.S. as a local peacekeeper. She walks behind Buffy, who is intently watching Sid. Sid turns his head back to look at her and lowers his brows. Buffy is creeped out and looks down at her desk. A moment later she looks back up at him. Sid just stares back. Cordelia notices and leans over to comment.", "Cordelia: Looks like someone digs you. That's adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show! She smiles smugly as she leans back into her chair. Buffy says nothing. She just looks back at Sid, then down at her desk again.", "Mrs. Jackson: Okay, who can tell me how Spain responded to this policy? Sid is whispering to Morgan. Mrs. Jackson notices.", "Mrs. Jackson: Morgan? Morgan?", "Morgan: (looks at Sid, then up) What?", "Sid: Morgan has other things on his mind. The students laugh. Mrs. Jackson approaches Morgan.", "Mrs. Jackson: Give me your puppet.", "Morgan: I'll put him away.", "Mrs. Jackson: (takes Sid) You'll get it back after school. She opens a cupboard, puts Sid in and closes it.", "Mrs. Jackson: Okay, then. In the first part of the nineteenth century...", "Sid: (from inside the cupboard) I'm still watchin' you. Buffy looks at the cupboard.", "Mrs. Jackson: Morgan, that is enough! Xander and Buffy look at Morgan. He looks back at Buffy, then at Mrs. Jackson.", "Cut to after school. Morgan comes back into the classroom to retrieve Sid.", "Morgan: Mrs. Jackson.", "Mrs. Jackson: Morgan.", "Morgan: You said you'd give me...", "Mrs. Jackson: Oh, of course. She gets up and goes over to the cupboard. Morgan follows her expectantly. Before she gets Sid out she stops and faces Morgan.", "Mrs. Jackson: Y'know, I wanted to ask you, is everything okay? At home, here at school?", "Morgan: Yeah, it's great.", "Mrs. Jackson: I feel like you've become... a little detached.", "Morgan: Mm! (rubs his head in pain)", "Mrs. Jackson: You're one of the brightest kids I've seen in a long time, but lately it seems like you're not all there. Morgan has both his hands on his head now, rubbing.", "Mrs. Jackson: Try not to let other things get in the way.", "Morgan: (takes his hands down) Okay! Can I get Sid now?", "Mrs. Jackson: Sure. She goes over to the cupboard and opens it, but Sid is gone. She turns back to Morgan.", "Mrs. Jackson: It's gone!", "Morgan: Gone? Whadaya mean, gone? Where could he have gone?", "Mrs. Jackson: I put it right here.", "Morgan: He knew to wait for me. He knew I'd be back.", "Mrs. Jackson: What do you mean 'he'?", "Morgan: What did you do with him? Where is he?", "Cut to the library. Xander has Sid and is playing with him. Buffy, Willow and Giles come in. Willow and Giles have their arms full of costumes. Buffy sees Xander holding Sid.", "Buffy: Where did you get that?", "Xander: Oh, I, uh, took it out of Mrs. Jackson's cupboard. I thought you said you wanted to be able to speak to Morgan alone, and uh... well, Morgan's alone, and, uh... Sid's with me. Buffy stares at Sid uncomfortably.", "Xander: (manipulating Sid) Hi, Buffy! Hi, Willow! Would you like to hear some off-color jokes?", "Buffy: I really don't think you should be doing that.", "Xander: What? C'mon... (as Sid) I'm not real!", "Buffy: (wigged) Xander, quit it! She turns and walks a few steps away. She stops and looks back when she hears Xander pounding Sid's head into the table.", "Xander: He's... not... real! (picks Sid back up) I think our demonstration proves that, uh, Sid (knocks on Sid's head several times) is wood. Now, why don't you go and find Morgan and prove he's... whatever he is?", "Giles: I imagine he's looking for his puppet.", "Buffy: I'll go find Morgan. (starts to leave, but stops and gives Xander a look) You watch the dummy.", "Xander: (as Sid) Bye-bye, now. I'm completely inanimate. Buffy gives Xander another look and goes out the door.", "Xander: (as Sid) Redrum! Redruuum!", "Willow: What do we do with him?", "Xander: Eh, I'll keep him company.", "Giles: Willow, we have some hunting of our own to do.", "Willow: Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog. Xander looks at Sid and goes over to the table with him. Giles and Willow go up into the stacks.", "Giles: You concentrate on re-animation theory. I'll peck about in organ harvesting. Unless, of course, you prefer...", "Willow: That's okay, you can have the organs. Xander puts Sid in the chair at the end of the table.", "Xander: So, I guess it's just... you and me, huh? (turns Sid's head away and pats him) That looks more comfortable. He leaves Sid there, and the camera closes in on him.", "Buffy: Morgan?", "Cut to the auditorium. Buffy walks along the front and then up the stairs to the stage.", "Buffy: Morgan? Cut backstage. Buffy draws a curtain aside, but no one's there. She takes the steps down to the makeup area and tries a door. It's locked. She hears another door close and turns toward the sound. A gust blows through another curtain. Slowly she walks toward it. She quickly turns her head when she senses something behind her, and sees Principal Snyder at the top of the steps to the stage.", "Buffy: Principal Snyder!", "Snyder: Looking for something?", "Buffy: Have you seen Morgan Shay?", "Snyder: (comes down the steps) You know, with everything that's been going on recently, I'm not sure how safe it is for a girl like yourself to be here... alone.", "Buffy: Well, I was just leaving. And I know how to take care of myself. They stare at each other a moment.", "Snyder: Alright, then. He goes back up the stairs and leaves.", "Cut to the library. Xander looks over at Sid in his chair, then turns back to his homework. Cut to the stacks.", "Willow: (to Giles) Look what I found in the section on toys and magic: (reads) 'On rare occasions inanimate objects of human quality, such as dolls and mannequins, already mystically possessed of consciousness, have acted upon their desire to become human by harvesting organs.'", "Giles: Emily's heart.", "Willow: Morgan's dummy.", "Giles: Mm.", "Cut to Xander. He gets up to get a reference book. When he gets back to the table Sid is gone, but Xander doesn't notice. He slams the book on the table, sits down again and begins to read. After a moment he glances at Sid's chair and jumps up frightened when he sees it empty.", "Xander: Whoa! He climbs onto the table. Giles and Willow come running out of the stacks.", "Giles: What is it?", "Xander: He's gone! (indicates the chair) Sid's gone!", "Giles: What? Oh!", "Willow: Uhhh! They're both frightened and look around themselves. Cut backstage. Buffy continues to look around. She hears some creaking.", "Buffy: Morgan? She backtracks a bit and goes toward the noise. She pushes some clothes on a rack aside, but sees nothing. She continues and eventually stumbles on something. She looks down and sees Morgan's body lying there.", "Buffy: (whispers) Morgan! (slowly backs away) Demon's got himself a brain. She keeps backing through a bead curtain and hears a snapping noise above. She looks up and sees a wrought iron chandelier falling on her.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Backstage. Buffy is unconscious under the chandelier. She wakes and moans. Her vision is a bit blurred. She hears quick little footsteps and immediately becomes alert. She sees Sid run across the catwalk above her. She tries to lift the chandelier off of herself, but it's very heavy. Sid has come down now, and Buffy sees him in the shadows.", "Buffy: Who's ever out there, I'm gonna hurt you! Badly! If you'll just gimme a minute... She tries lifting again, but to no avail. She looks back to where she saw Sid and sees his knife poised above her. She turns her head just in time to avoid being stabbed in the face. Sid lifts the knife and tries again, but misses. Buffy flails out with her left arm and knocks him away. She tries lifting again, and this time she shifts the chandelier enough to get out from underneath it. Sid attacks her from behind as she slides out, but she knocks him away and into a wall. His knife goes sliding across the floor. Buffy gets out and jumps over on top of Sid, pinning him against the wall with her arm.", "Sid: You win. Now you can take your heart and your brain and move on.", "Buffy: I'm sure they would have made great trophies for your case.", "Sid: That woulda been justice.", "Buffy: Yeah, except for one thing: you lost, and now you'll never be human.", "Sid: Yeah, well, neither will you. They are both confused.", "Buffy and Sid: What?", "Cut to the library. Giles and Xander stare at Sid in wide-eyed and open- mouthed amazement. Willow and Buffy just stare and listen.", "Sid: This is what I do. I hunt demons. Yeah, you wouldn't know it to look at me. Let's just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know I'm not me anymore. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.", "Willow: And ever since then you've been a living dummy?", "Sid: The kid here was right all along. I shoulda picked you to team up with. But I didn't because...", "Buffy: Because you thought *I* was the demon.", "Sid: Who can blame me for thinking? Look at you! You're strong, athletic, limber... (goes off into his own world) nubile... (shakes his head) I'm back! In any case, now that this demon's got the heart and brain, he gets to keep the human form he's in for another seven years. The tea kettle is whistling. Giles gets up to tend to it.", "Giles: I must say, it's a welcome change to have someone else explain all these things.", "Sid: There were seven of these guys. I've killed six. If I can get the last one, the curse will be lifted and I'll be free. I'm sure it's someone in that stupid talent show.", "Buffy: Yeah, but now that demon has what he wants. He'll be moving on.", "Sid: So, once we know who's missing from the show...", "Buffy: We'll know who our demon is!", "Giles: (remembering) The show!", "Buffy: What?", "Giles: It's gonna start! I'm supposed to be there!", "Buffy: (to Willow) Okay, um, start pulling everyone's addresses in the talent show. I-if they're not there, maybe we can catch them at home.", "Sid: (to Giles) And you, get 'em all on stage, form the power circle. Then we can see who's a no-show.", "Giles: Um, uh, the what?", "Sid: The power circle. You get everyone together, you get 'em, you know, revved up.", "Giles: Right. (still confused, but goes)", "Sid: How'd *he* ever get that gig? Cut backstage.", "Giles: Fifteen minutes to curtain, everyone! Uh, fifteen minutes! He turns to go back out. Cordelia chases him down.", "Cordelia: I, I can't go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I'm some kind of... Buffy! What if I mess up?", "Giles: Cordelia, there, uh, there-there's, uh, uh, an adage, uh, that, uh, if you're feeling nervous then, uh, you should imagine the entire audience are in their underwear.", "Cordelia: Eww! Even Mrs. Franklin? Uhhh!", "Giles: Perhaps not.", "Cordelia: Yeah.", "Giles: (to everyone) Um, alright, um, we'll assemble on the stage in five minutes for the, um, uh, power thing.", "Cut to the catwalk. Sid and Buffy are sitting and waiting to see who's missing from the circle.", "Sid: So, what's your deal, kid? I don't figure you for a demon hunter.", "Buffy: I'm a Vampire Slayer.", "Sid: (surprised) You?! You're the Slayer? (Buffy nods) Damn! I knew a Slayer in the 30's. Korean chick. Very hot. We're talking *muscle* tone. Man, we had some times. (gets a look from Buffy) Hey, that was pre- dummy, alright? Now, I was a guy!", "Buffy: So, you kill the demon and the curse is lifted, right?", "Sid: That's the drill.", "Buffy: You don't actually turn into a prince, do you? I-I mean, your body...", "Sid: Is dust and bones. When I say free...", "Buffy: You mean dead.", "Sid: Don't get sniffly on me, sis. I've lived a lot longer than most demon hunters. Or Slayers, for that matter. Buffy looks down, depressed about her lot in life.", "Sid: (puts his hand on her knee) Of course, if you want to snuggle up and comfort me...", "Buffy: (takes his hand off of her knee) So, that horny dummy thing really *isn't* an act, is it?", "Sid: Nope!", "Buffy: Yuk! Sid and Buffy look down onto the stage.", "Giles: I-is everybody here? The talent gathers on the stage.", "Sid: Okay, here comes our line-up.", "Giles: Quickly, everyone! Uh... um, power circle. The students arrange themselves in a circle and hold hands. Sid and Buffy scan the group for any missing members. Giles looks around as well. The camera follows his gaze.", "Giles: Well, that's that, then. Um, everybody, uh, get ready! Some of the students don't get it, but the circle breaks up quickly as they scramble to get ready. Giles scratches his head, confused. Buffy bends down and slips underneath the catwalk railing.", "Buffy: (to Sid) Hold on. She drops to the stage below. Sid watches her fall. She lands squarely on her feet and goes over to Giles.", "Giles: No one's missing.", "Buffy: So the demon isn't in the show.", "Giles: It seems not. Uh, tell the others. Look, it's nearly curtain. I must get the show rolling.", "Buffy: Right.", "Giles: Right. She looks for Sid up on the catwalk, but he's gone.", "Buffy: Sid?", "Cut to Principal Snyder nosing around backstage. Giles sees him, and Snyder faces him. Giles isn't sure why he's there. Snyder puts his fist into his palm and walks away. Giles follows him.", "Cut to Buffy, still looking for Sid.", "Buffy: Sid? She stops next to a workbench. Something drips onto her arm from above. She shakes it off and looks up. She reaches up to a shelf to see what's dripping, and Morgan's brain falls down and into her hands. She lets out a startled yelp and drops the brain. It jiggles when it hits the floor. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow is at the PC. Buffy walks up to her staring at her hands.", "Buffy: I'm never gonna stop washing my hands.", "Xander: So, the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter. And we're, like, fine, la la la la. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?", "Buffy: Sid's on the level, I'm sure of it. But why would the demon have rejected the brain? I-I mean, I thought Morgan was the smartest kid in school.", "Willow: He was, look at his grades: all A's. He was even taking college classes. Wait a second.", "Buffy: What?", "Willow: All these sick days.", "Xander: He was off for, like, half the year!", "Buffy: Check the school nurse's file.", "Willow: (types) Look at this! 'In case of emergency, contact Dr. Dale Leggett, California Institute of Neurosurgery, Cancer Ward.'", "Xander: Brain cancer?", "Willow: That's why he had all the headaches.", "Buffy: This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain.", "Xander: In other words, I'm safe! (smiles)", "Buffy: And it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around. She and Xander look at Willow. She looks back and forth between them.", "Willow: What? Cut backstage. Giles is helping Marc set up, and has a pair of weights in his hands.", "Giles: Yes, if you, you calibrated the units of weight then you could calculate the, uh, specific maximum velocity achieved before the point of impact.", "Marc: Gee, Mr. Giles, you're really... smart! Could you do me a favor?", "Cut to the library.", "Willow: What could a demon possibly want from me?", "Xander: What's the square root of 841?", "Willow: 29. Oh, yeah.", "Buffy: Don't worry, Willow. As long as you're with us there's absolutely no way that demon is gonna get what he wants. Cut backstage. Marc tests his guillotine on a honeydew melon. Giles picks up a half melon.", "Giles: Oh, my!", "Marc: Pretty cool, huh?", "Giles: Are you sure there's no one else who could help you out?", "Marc: My assistant got sick. You won't have to say anything. I'll, I'll show you. Lie down.", "Giles: (inspects the guillotine) Uh, uh, how, how exactly does it work? Marc pulls the blade back up by its rope and ties it down.", "Marc: A good magician never tells his secrets. He sees his hand and arm begin to revert to demon form, and shakes his sleeve to get it to cover up better.", "Marc: C'mon. We haven't got much time.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is pacing nervously.", "Buffy: This is ridiculous. We can't just sit here and wait for him to come to us. We have to figure out who we're dealing with.", "Xander: I still vote dummy.", "Buffy: No. Okay, so we ruled out all the people in the talent show...", "Willow: That's because they were all there. But that's before we found the brain.", "Buffy: Right. So it probably *is* one of them. And, and Giles doesn't know! He's with them all right now!", "Xander: Uch! Giles can handle himself. I mean, he *is* really... (clicks in his mind) smart!", "Cut to the hall outside the library. Buffy slams the door open and runs out and down the hall.", "Buffy: GILES! Xander and Willow are hot on her trail. Cut backstage. Giles is strapped down to the guillotine bench.", "Giles: Sh-sh-shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?", "Marc: No. No, this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just... come pouring out. He slides the head restraint down onto Giles' forehead. He reaches over and locks it down with a padlock.", "Giles: What exactly is the trick?", "Marc: Trick? (pulls the chest restraint tighter)", "Giles: Marc? Marc goes over to the block where the rope holding the guillotine blade is tied down. He grabs his hatchet and takes a swing at the rope. Giles is terrified. Marc takes another swing. The rope is half cut now.", "Giles: M-Marc? A third swing, and the rope is almost cut through. The blade slips a bit. Giles looks up at it in terror. Another swing, and the rope hangs by a thread. Marc raises the hatchet for the final cut. Buffy lunges at him and tackles him to the floor. She leg sweeps Marc, kicking his legs out from under him as he tries to get up. She stands up and adopts a fighting stance. As Marc tries to get up again, she throws an inverted crescent kick to his face, and he goes down again. Marc growls as he starts to get up, and Buffy sees that the skin on his face is beginning to turn back into its demon state.", "Buffy: Ewww! Marc takes advantage of her distraction and jumps up and punches her, then follows up with a backhand fist to her face. She spins around and falls to the floor. The rope stretches and snaps, and the blade begins to fall. Giles yells out and clamps his eyes shut. At the last instant Xander grabs the rope from midair and stops the blade. Giles hears it stop and opens his eyes. He sees it go back up as Xander pulls on the rope. Buffy gets up, but is punched by the demon and falls again. Willow goes to Giles and begins to undo the restraints.", "Willow: Where are the keys?", "Giles: Marc's got it!", "Xander: Willow! He kicks the hatchet over to her. She picks it up and begins to hack at the lock.", "Giles: Hurry! Buffy gets up again and runs over to Marc. She grabs him and falls backward, pulling him down with her and flipping him over onto his back. She flips up to her feet and turns to face him in a front stance. When he gets up she punches him in the face and kicks him in the stomach with a hopping front snap kick. He staggers backward and stumbles into his disappearing-act box, and the door closes on him. Willow keeps hacking at the lock on the guillotine.", "Buffy: How do you lock this thing? That wouldn't have made any difference because Marc just punches through the box and reaches for her. She quickly backs away as he kicks and shoves his way out of the box. He has completely reverted to his demon form now. He comes at her, grabs her by the neck, and lifts her from the floor.", "Giles: (yells) What's happening? Willow keeps hacking. The demon slams Buffy up against a wall with his hand around her throat. He pulls her away and slams her into the wall again. Xander can only watch as he holds on to the rope. Willow gets the lock to break and quickly pulls it off. She and Giles push the head restraint up, and he gets out as fast as he can. He reaches down to undo the restraint at his feet. Sid finally shows up, jumps onto the demon's back and begins stabbing with his knife.", "Sid: I found you! The demon ignores Sid and continues slamming Buffy into the wall. Giles gets himself loose. Sid has forced the demon to let go of Buffy and has jumped off. She hits the demon in the face with an open hand punch followed by a backhand punch. Giles gets off of the bench as Buffy does a full spinning side kick to the demon's gut, making him stagger back onto the bench and land with his neck in the guillotine.", "Buffy: (to Xander) Let go! Xander lets go, and the blade falls, chopping off the demon's head. Its body slumps lifeless on the bench. Willow cringes at the sight. They all stare at what's left of the demon.", "Giles: Uh... I must say, all of you... Your t-timing is impeccable.", "Sid: And now for the big finish. He has positioned himself over the demon's chest with his knife.", "Buffy: What are you doing?", "Sid: It's not enough. He'll come back. You have to get the heart. Then all of this'll be over. She holds out her hand for the knife.", "Buffy: Let me.", "Sid: I got it. Thanks. He wields back with the knife and plunges it into the demon's heart. He pulls back to do it again, but his aim was true the first time, and he just slumps over onto the demon with the knife still in his hands, now a lifeless puppet. Buffy looks at Sid sadly and lets out a deep breath. Giles takes off his glasses. Buffy gently lifts Sid from the demon and holds him in her arms. She starts to walk off stage." ]

[ "Sunnydale residents find their worst nightmares coming true and Buffy learns that a little boy in a coma is the cause. To solve the problem, the gang must wake him up and help him confront his fears." ]

[ "In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Master's lair. The camera pans through the chamber and over to the entrance, where Buffy is quietly making her way in, stake in hand. She stops and takes a look around. Slowly she makes her way down to the floor below. She raises the stake to be ready. The camera moves behind a pillar where the Master is hiding. Buffy continues into the lair. She spins around and raises the stake when she senses the Master behind her. He hisses loudly. Buffy freezes with fear and drops the stake. She slowly retreats as the Master advances on her. When she can't retreat any further she watches as the Master reaches out with his hand and clasps it around her neck. She looks up at him as he closes in for the bite.", "Buffy: NO! NO!", "Cut to her room. She's having a nightmare. Her mother is sitting on the edge of her bed trying to shake her awake.", "Buffy: No...", "Joyce: Yes. Buffy wakes suddenly with her eyes open wide.", "Joyce: It's time to get up for school.", "Buffy: Mom?", "Joyce: Are you alright?", "Buffy: No. Uh, yeah! Yeah! I'm, I'm fine! Oh... (sits up) School! Great. (gets out of bed)", "Joyce: You wanna go to school? (stands up)", "Buffy: Sure! Why not?", "Joyce: Okay. (opens the blinds) Good day to buy that lottery ticket. I spoke with your father.", "Buffy: He's coming, right?", "Joyce: You're on for this weekend.", "Buffy: Good.", "Cut to Sunnydale High.", "Willow: So, do you see your dad a lot?", "Buffy: Not a whole lot.", "Cut to the halls. Willow and Buffy walk as they talk.", "Buffy: He's still in L.A. He, like, comes down for weekends sometimes.", "Willow: When did they get divorced?", "Buffy: Well, it wasn't finalized till last year, but they were separated before that.", "Willow: Musta been harsh. They reach Buffy's locker.", "Buffy: Yeah, that's the word you're looking for. (works the combination) I-I mean, they were really good about it around me, anyway, but still...", "Willow: My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare. Do you know why your folks split up?", "Buffy: (opens her locker) I didn't ask. They just stopped getting along. I'm sure I was a really big help, though, with all the slaying and everything. I was in so much trouble. I was a big mess.", "Willow: Well, I'm sure that didn't have anything to do with him leaving.", "Buffy: No. (closes her locker)", "Willow: And he still comes down on weekends.", "Buffy: Sometimes.", "Cut to class. Cordelia is checking her makeup in her mirror. Wendell comes over and stops to look at his paper in the light.", "Cordelia: Hello? Doofus! (Wendell looks at her) You're in my light.", "Xander: Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?", "Cordelia: Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light? The bell rings. Wendell and Xander go to their seats. Willow and Buffy come in.", "Xander: (to the girls) Uh, Wendell was in Cordelia's light.", "Wendell: I'm so ashamed.", "Willow: Why is she so Evita-like?", "Buffy: I think it's the hair.", "Willow: (smiles) It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex.", "Xander: Hey, guys, was there any homework?", "Willow: We're doing active listening today.", "Xander: Cool! What's active listening?", "Willow: That would be the homework. (they sit)", "Buffy: Chapter five? Active listening? (shows her book) Where you put on your big ears and really focus on the other person?", "Wendell: Ms. Tishler demonstrated it yesterday.", "Willow: With you!", "Buffy: She was wearing that tight sweater?", "Xander: Oh, the midnight blue angora! See, I was listening. Willow gives him a look.", "Ms. Tishler: Alright, take your seats. In a moment we will choose partners and practice what we read about in chapter five. Xander cups his ears with his hands while smiling and shaking his head around.", "Ms. Tishler: Good, Xander, that's the spirit! Willow and Buffy give each other amused looks.", "Ms. Tishler: Before we do, let's review. Isaacson's research led him to conclude that one of our most fundamental needs after food and shelter is to be heard. Buffy drops her pencil and bends down to pick it up.", "Ms. Tishler: Wendell, would you read the first two paragraphs on page seventy-eight... As Buffy sits back up she sees Billy, a young boy, standing at the door looking in at her.", "Ms. Tishler: ...where Isaacson describes the rapid improvement active listening brought to some special needs clients. Wendell opens his book. He screams and drops it on his desk when there are suddenly a bunch of tarantulas crawling out of it. Ms. Tishler and the students closest to him scream and quickly get out of their chairs and away from him. The tarantulas crawl all over Wendell.", "Wendell: Please! Get 'em off of me! Help! Help! Get 'em off of me! Help me! Oh, please help me! Please!", "Billy: Sorry about that.", "Wendell: Please help me! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Master's lair. Collin is sitting, listening to the Master.", "Master: Fear is a wonderful thing. It is *the* most powerful force in the human world. (crouches to face Collin) Not love, not hate... Fear! When you were a mortal boy, what did you fear?", "Collin: Monsters.", "Master: Ooo. (gets up) We are *defined* by the things we fear. (goes to the large cross) This symbol, these two planks of wood, it confounds me. Suffuses me with mortal dread. But fear is in the mind. (puts his hand on the cross and holds on while it burns) Like pain. It can be controlled. (lets go) If I can face my fear, it cannot master me. (looks up) Something is happening above. Something new, powerful, psychic force. Do you feel it?", "Collin: I feel change.", "Master: Change. Yes. For the worse. The camera pans up above the cross and through the ground to the school. Joyce arrives to drop Buffy off.", "Joyce: You're awfully quiet this morning.", "Buffy: I didn't sleep well.", "Joyce: I'll say. I came in to check on you twice. You were yelling in your sleep. Do you know what you were dreaming?", "Buffy: (shakes her head) Not really. Oh, no, my bag! I-I packed it for the weekend and I forgot it!", "Joyce: You and your dad can swing by the house and get your bag. It's not an international crisis.", "Buffy: Okay. Yeah, I just, uh, had meant to bring it. H-he's picking me up here, right? A-at 3:30?", "Joyce: Honey, a-are you worried your father isn't gonna show?", "Buffy: No! N-not really. Should I be?", "Joyce: Well, of course, not! I-I-I just, I-I know it's a hard situation. You just have to remember that your father adores you. No more than I do, by the way.", "Buffy: (smiles) Goodbye.", "Joyce: Have a great day.", "Buffy: Thanks. (gets out)", "Cut to the halls. Buffy comes around the corner and is met by Willow and Xander.", "Willow: Oh, Buffy, we've been looking for you.", "Xander: We have?", "Willow: Oh, about the spiders, did you talk to Giles about...", "Xander: Oh, the spiders! Willow's been kind of, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday.", "Willow: I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?", "Xander: I'm sorry! I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled all over my face...", "Buffy: Mm, it was pretty intense.", "Willow: Thank you.", "Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there.", "Buffy: Little blase' there, aren't you?", "Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!", "Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me. They enter the library. Cut inside.", "Xander: You da man, Buff!", "Willow: Okay, but we're still caring about the spiders here. Let's not forget the spiders.", "Buffy: Well, Giles said he was gonna look it up. Giles?", "Willow: Maybe he's in the faculty room. Giles comes out of the stacks and looks around bewildered.", "Buffy: Hey, Giles! Wakey, wakey!", "Giles: I was, uh, in the stacks. I got lost.", "Xander: Did you find any theories on spiders coming out of books? He reaches around Willow's shoulder with his arm while wiggling his fingers.", "Xander: Big, hairy, crawly... Willow is startled. She twists around and hits Xander.", "Xander: (to Willow) It's funny if you're me.", "Giles: (mildly confused) I couldn't find anything, uh... particularly illuminating. Um, I think perhaps you'd best have a chat with Wendell himself.", "Buffy: Okay. If he can still talk. She gives Giles an odd look. They start out of the library. Giles looks back into the stacks, still confused. Cut outside. Wendell is sitting on a bench. The team approaches him.", "Buffy: Hey, Wendell. How are you?", "Wendell: (looks up) Huh?", "Buffy: You okay?", "Xander: Good talking to ya, man. He pats Wendell on the back and starts to leave, but Buffy pulls him back.", "Wendell: Do you guys want something?", "Buffy: We just thought you might wanna talk about what happened.", "Willow: You know, yesterday? With the spiders?", "Wendell: I don't know what to say about that.", "Xander: There's nothing *to* say. You saw two hundred insects, you Gonzoed, anybody would have.", "Wendell: They're not insects. They're arachnids.", "Xander: They're from the Middle East?", "Wendell: Spiders are arachnids. They have eight legs. Insects only have six. Why does everyone make that mistake?", "Buffy: Don't know. Has anything like this ever happened before? Wendell nods his head 'yes'.", "Buffy: When?", "Wendell: Lots of times.", "Willow: Ew! You must hate spiders more than I do.", "Wendell: (smiles and laughs) I don't hate spiders. I love 'em. They hate me. Cordelia walks by behind Wendell and turns to Buffy.", "Cordelia: I hope you studied for the history test.", "Buffy: What history test?", "Cordelia: The one we're having in fourth period right now.", "Buffy: There's a history test? Nobody told me there was a history test! I haven't... I... Okay, I will catch up with you guys later. (runs off)", "Willow: (sits) What do you mean, you love spiders?", "Xander: It is platonic, right? (chuckles)", "Wendell: I had the best collection in the tri-county area. Browns and tarantulas and black widows... Then my folks shipped me off to wilderness camp. All my brother had to do was maintain their habitats. Instead he left their heat lamp on for a week. When I came home they were all dead. That's when the nightmares started.", "Willow: The nightmares?", "Wendell: It's always the same. I'm sitting in the classroom, teacher asks me to read something, I open up my book and then there they are. They're comin' after me. God, can you blame them after what I did?", "Xander: And that's how it happens? Every time?", "Wendell: Yesterday in class I thought I'd just nodded off again. But then everyone else started screaming, too.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy is looking for her history class. Cordelia is waiting by the door, holding it open.", "Cordelia: You don't know where class is, do you?", "Buffy: Uh...", "Cordelia: Hardly a shocker. You've cut history just about every time we've had it.", "Buffy: Well, I was there the first day. I think.", "Cordelia: It's in here.", "Buffy: I haven't been to class, I haven't read any of the assignments, how am I gonna pass this test?", "Cordelia: Blind luck? Cut into the classroom. Buffy is sitting and looking around at the other students. The teacher walks by. She looks over at Cordelia, who apparently isn't having any problems with the test. Cordelia turns the page, looks back at Buffy and goes back to taking the test. The teacher comes by again and stops to glance at Buffy's work. He continues, apparently satisfied. Buffy flips through the short answer test. All the pages are still blank. She glances up at the clock. 11:20. She looks at the space for her name.", "Buffy: Well, at least I know my name. She starts to write, but her pencil breaks. She lets out an exasperated breath. She grabs her sharpener and sharpens her pencil. She looks back up at the clock, and it's now 12:10 already. She stares at it in disbelief. She looks around at everyone. The teacher is watching her intently and tapping his pencil. She looks back down at her test and the bell rings. All around her the students get up and begin turning their tests in as she just sits and watches. Billy appears at the door and looks in. Buffy sees him there with a sad look on his face. He walks off down the hall. The classroom is empty now, and Buffy is sitting at her desk alone.", "Cut to the hall. Billy is walking along and comes upon two girls talking as they come down the stairs.", "Laura: Well, they both got detention, which is completely unfair since Sean started it. Anyway, it means we can't do the movie. The other girl looks disappointed as they stop in front of the basement door.", "Laura: I'm gonna take a (makes a smoking gesture) break. Her friend leaves. She looks around to see if anyone's watching, opens the door and goes in.", "Billy: (to himself) You shouldn't go in there. (shakes his head) Cut inside the basement to a shot of the stairs. Laura comes in and closes the door behind her. The basement area is dark. She comes down the steps and looks around. Satisfied that no one's there she puts down her books and gets out her pack of smokes. Cut to a shot of her from behind a rack. She has her pack and pulls out a cigarette. The Ugly Man behind the rack watches her as she lights up. He comes into the weak light. His face is badly scarred.", "Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen! He attacks Laura. She screams. He begins to whale on her with his huge deformed club arm as she screams and tries to roll out of the way of his blows. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hospital. Cut to a hall. Buffy and Giles look for Laura's room.", "Buffy: I think they said room 3016.", "Giles: Do you know the girl?", "Buffy: To say hi to. Laura's nice enough. Nobody saw who attacked her?", "Giles: Well, I was rather hoping that Laura did. Cut inside Laura's room. She has cuts and bruises all over. Buffy and Giles come in. She sees them and looks up at Buffy.", "Buffy: Hey, Laura.", "Laura: Hi.", "Giles: I hope we're not intruding, um... He holds out a small potted flower arrangement. Buffy takes it from him and sets it next to the bed.", "Laura: That's okay. I don't wanna be left alone.", "Giles: You understand we're anxious to make sure this, this doesn't happen again.", "Buffy: (sits) Can you tell us what happened?", "Laura: I was in the basement. I went down for a smoke. There was... someone there.", "Buffy: Someone you knew?", "Laura: I've never... seen anything like it.", "Buffy: (exchanges a look with Giles) It?", "Giles: Can you describe it? Laura is having trouble talking about it and can't answer.", "Buffy: Hey, that's okay. Don't worry about it.", "Giles: Yes, you, you, you just rest now.", "Buffy: You know, but...", "Nurse: (comes in) Hi, Laura.", "Buffy: ...i-if you remember anything? You can tell us. Even if it may seem weird.", "Nurse: She needs her rest now. Giles and Buffy start to go.", "Laura: 'Lucky nineteen.' Buffy and Giles stop and turn around.", "Giles: I'm sorry?", "Laura: It's what he said, right before... He said 'lucky nineteen'. That's weird, right?", "Giles: Yes. Yes, it is.", "Buffy: Feel better. (smiles)", "Giles: Take care. They leave the room. Cut to the hall. Giles sees her doctor there.", "Giles: Doctor, is she gonna be alright?", "Doctor: You family?", "Buffy: Friends.", "Doctor: She'll recover. She's got a couple of shattered bones, a little internal bleeding... she got off pretty easy.", "Buffy: Easy?", "Giles: Have you looked up the word lately?", "Doctor: Well, the first one's still in a coma. (stops at another room)", "Buffy: First what?", "Doctor: First victim. (looks into the room) They found him a week ago. Exact same M.O. as the girl, only he's in worse shape. If he doesn't wake up soon... Somebody's gotta stop this guy.", "Buffy: Somebody will.", "Cut to the school.", "Punk: Listen, I'm not afraid of him.", "Cut to the hall.", "Punk: Hey, if he wants to fight, then I'm takin' him down. I'm not backin' off on this. This is about honor. I'll break his neck!", "Cut to Willow and Xander coming down the hall to her locker.", "Willow: I'm just saying, Wendell had a dream and then that exact thing happened.", "Xander: Which is a fair wiggins, I admit, but do you think that ties in with Laura?", "Willow: I dunno. Maybe she dreamed about getting beat up. We should ask Buffy when she gets back from the hospital. The punk's mother suddenly appears in the hall. Xander sees the encounter and grins.", "Mother: Oh, there's my little baby!", "Punk: Mom, what are you doing here? Mom...", "Mother: (laughs and kisses) How's my little pookie?", "Punk: Mom, mom, please don't kiss me in front of the guys! It's embarrassing, mom! Please!", "Mother: (laughs) You cute little rascal, you!", "Punk: Mom... Thanks, but mom, please, my friends are right here... Willow closes her locker. They head to their next class.", "Xander: It could be a coincidence. Y'know, Wendell finds a spider's nest, and we all wig because he dreamt about spiders. So it may not be connected. They enter the classroom. The students see Xander come in and start to laugh.", "Xander: If there is a connection it doesn't sound like anything... What? Willow is confused, and looks behind her at Xander. His clothes are gone, and he's standing there in his underwear.", "Willow: Xander! What happened to your...?!", "Xander: I-I-I dunno! I was, uh, dressed a minute ago! It's a dream. It's gotta be a dream. (pinches himself) Ow! Wake up. (pinches himself again) Ow! Gotta wake up. He realizes he's not dreaming and runs from the room screaming. Willow chases after him.", "Cut to the library. Giles is going over a number of newspapers.", "Giles: This can't be happening. This can't be... Buffy comes into the library.", "Buffy: What's the word?", "Giles: Oh, uh, I've got back issues of the, uh, papers, um, to try to do some research.", "Buffy: Did you find anything?", "Giles: I don't know.", "Buffy: You don't know if you didn't find anything.", "Giles: I'm having a problem.", "Buffy: What is it?", "Giles: I-I can't read!", "Buffy: What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages.", "Giles: Five, actually, on a normal day. Th-the words here don't make any s-sense. I-it's gibberish! (steps away in frustration)", "Buffy: (looks at the paper) That's him.", "Giles: Who?", "Buffy: The kid I've been seeing around school. (reads) 'Twelve-year-old Billy Palmer was found beaten and unconscious after his kiddie league game Saturday. Doctors describe his condition as critical.' When was this published? (looks at the date) Last week. It says he's in a coma in intensive care. This is the boy from the hospital!", "Giles: The first victim? Uh... You, you've seen him around the school?", "Buffy: Yeah, first when the spiders got Wendell, and, and then when I didn't know a thing on the history test. I thought it was weird seeing this kid around, but I forgot about it.", "Giles: Uh, the boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible?", "Buffy: What, am I knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain.", "Giles: Uh, well, um, there's astral projection, uh, the theory that while one sleeps one has another body, a-an astral body, which can travel through time and space.", "Buffy: Billy's in a coma. That's like sleep, right?", "Giles: In a manner of speaking, a-a-although one doesn't always awake from a coma.", "Buffy: Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?", "Giles: Astral body, and I-I don't know. As usual, one doesn't have an inordinate amount of information to work with.", "Buffy: Lucky nineteen. Her father, Hank Summers, enters the library.", "Hank: There you are! I've been looking everywhere. Why aren't you in class?", "Buffy: Dad, what are you doing here? Y-you're not supposed to pick me up till after school. Is something wrong?", "Hank: Well, I, I need to talk to you.", "Buffy: Something *is* wrong. Is it mom?", "Hank: No, no, it's not your mother, she's fine. (quieter) Could I speak with you for a moment? Privately?", "Buffy: Um, sure! Yeah. (looks at Giles) Uh, oh! I'm sorry. Dad, this is Mr. Giles, the librarian. Uh, this is my dad, Hank Summers.", "Giles: My pleasure. (shakes his hand)", "Hank: Likewise.", "Buffy: I'll be back. She and her father leave the library. Giles tries reading the papers again. Cut outside. Buffy and her dad walk as they talk.", "Hank: I came early because there's something I've needed to tell you. About your mother and me. Why we split up.", "Buffy: Well, you always told me it was because...", "Hank: Uh, I know we always said it was because we'd just grown too far apart.", "Buffy: Yeah, isn't that true?", "Hank: Well, c'mon, honey, let's, let's sit down. (they sit) (exhales) You're old enough now to know the truth.", "Buffy: Is there someone else?", "Hank: No. No, it was nothing like that.", "Buffy: Then what was it?", "Hank: It was you.", "Buffy: Me?", "Hank: Having you. Raising you. Seeing you everyday. I mean, do you have any idea what that's like?", "Buffy: What?", "Hank: Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on?", "Buffy: No. Please don't.", "Hank: You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that?", "Buffy: Why are you saying all these things? (a tear rolls down her cheek)", "Hank: Because they're true. I think that's the least we owe one another. She begins to sniff and cry.", "Hank: You know, I don't think it's very mature, getting blubbery when I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get anything out of these weekends with you. So, what do you say we just don't do them anymore? She stares at him in shock. He pats her on the leg.", "Hank: I sure thought you'd turn out differently. He gets up and leaves. Buffy can't do anything but watch him go for a moment, and then look down. He walks past the building, and Billy is there looking at Buffy. She looks up again and sees him. Billy turns and leaves. Buffy fights back the tears.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Xander come in. Xander is pulling on his gym shirt.", "Xander: Red alert! Where's Buffy?", "Giles: Uh, she, she just stepped out. Her, her father came by early. He, he needed to talk to her. W... where are your other clothes?", "Xander: Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to *that* question.", "Willow: Xander kinda found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything.", "Xander: Except my underwear.", "Willow: (laughs) Yeah! It was really... (looks at Xander) ...bad. It was a bad thing.", "Xander: 'Bad thing'? I was naked. 'Bad thing' doesn't cover it.", "Willow: Everyone staring? I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that.", "Xander: With nudity! It's a total nightmare.", "Willow: (realizes) Well, yeah Xander! I-it's your nightmare!", "Xander: Except the part with me waking up goin' 'it's all a dream'. It happened.", "Willow: Like it happened to Wendell. That thing with the spiders? Wendell had a recurring dream about that.", "Giles: I-I dreamt that I got lost in the stacks and I... I couldn't read... Of course!", "Xander: Uh, our dreams are coming true?", "Giles: Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our, our nightmares are coming true.", "Willow: So, why is this happening?", "Giles: Billy.", "Xander: Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. (to Willow) It's Billy! (to Giles) Who's Billy?", "Giles: He's a boy in the local hospital. He was beaten. He's in a coma. Somehow I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in.", "Xander: And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy.", "Willow: How could he do that?", "Giles: Things like that are easy when you live on a Hellmouth.", "Xander: Well, um, we have to stop it.", "Giles: And soon. Or else everyone in Sunnydale is gonna be facing their own worst nightmares.", "Cut to the halls. Cordelia opens her locker and looks at her mirror. Her hair has become totally frizzy, and she freaks out. She tries to force a comb through it to no avail.", "Cordelia: I don't understand! This can't be happening! I was just at the salon! She puts her hands on her head in terror.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! She tries the hair on the other side of her head, but it's just as bad. Cut outside. Buffy is walking along sadly with her arms crossed. She notices Billy going down some stairs to the gym entrance. When the students have all come out he goes in. Buffy follows him in and finds him sitting on the stands.", "Buffy: Billy? He looks at her a moment. She comes closer.", "Buffy: Are you Billy Palmer?", "Billy: I'm Billy.", "Buffy: Why are you here? (sits down next to him) Did something bad happen to you after your game?", "Billy: Something bad? (pulls his hands through his hair) I, I don't remember.", "Buffy: Do you remember playing baseball?", "Billy: Uh huh. Yeah. I play second base.", "Buffy: Are you 'lucky nineteen'?", "Billy: (looks at her) That's what he calls me.", "Buffy: Who?", "Billy: The Ugly Man. He wants to kill me. A-and he hurt that girl.", "Buffy: Why does he want to kill you, Billy?", "Billy: He's...", "Buffy: Billy, it's okay! What? Just tell me.", "Billy: He's here! The Ugly Man clubs Buffy with his deformed arm and knocks her down.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The gym. The Ugly Man hits Buffy in the face, knocking her off of the stands and onto the floor. She quickly gets up as he tries another swing and misses. She ducks a third swing, kicks him in the jaw with a high side kick and follows up with a spinning out-to-in crescent kick to his face. He isn't fazed. He swings again with his club arm and hits her squarely in the back, knocking her into the stands. He swings again as she gets up and knocks her legs out from under her, making her fall backward and onto the floor again. She rolls out of the way as he swings again, gets up and quickly follows Billy, who's already gone out the door. She's limping.", "Cut to the library. Giles, Willow and Xander walk out to find Buffy.", "Giles: Buffy doesn't know this is happening. And given the sort of thing that she tends to dream about, it's imperative that we find her. They come through the doors into the hall.", "Xander: Probably faster if we split up to look for her.", "Giles: Good idea. He and Xander go off in opposite directions.", "Willow: Oh, uh, faster, but... not really safer.", "Cut to outside the gym doors. Buffy slides a hockey stick through the door handles to slow the Ugly Man down. He pounds on the door as she leans against it. She looks around, sees Billy and goes over to him.", "Buffy: Billy!", "Billy: I'm sorry, I can't help it.", "Buffy: Who is he?", "Billy: He's the Ugly Man.", "Buffy: He's too strong! I can't fight him! We have to find my friends. They can help us.", "Billy: We have to hide.", "Buffy: No! He'll find us!", "Billy: Yes, but we have to hide. That's how it happens. We hide, and then he comes. They go to find the others.", "Cut to the hall. Willow comes down the stairs and sees a commotion down the hall. Cordelia is being dragged by some nerds into the chess club.", "Cordelia: No! What are you doing! Hey, no! You don't understand! I don't wanna go! I'm not even on the chess team! I swear, I'm not! They drag her into the room. Willow smiles at the sight. She hears her name being called from the door to the basement.", "Voice: Willow!", "Cordelia: Nohoho! Willow turns toward the voice, goes to the basement door, opens it and looks inside.", "Voice: Willow! Cut into the basement looking up the stairs at Willow.", "Willow: Buffy? She starts down the stairs, leaving the door open.", "Willow: Hello? Buffy? She reaches the bottom of the steps and looks around.", "Willow: I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not. She continues into the room and looks around. A hand grabs her on the shoulder and pulls her away as she screams.", "Cut to the hall. Xander comes through a door and finds the hall has been vandalized, with swastikas spray-painted everywhere. A light hanging from the ceiling is flickering. He spies a chocolate bar on the floor.", "Xander: Alright! (picks up the bar and tears it open) Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness. He takes a huge bite. He looks around some more and sees a Hershey bar. He walks over to it, picks it up and tears it open.", "Xander: This is my lucky day! He takes a huge bite out of the Hershey bar and looks around again. Cut outside. Buffy and Billy come out of a door.", "Buffy: (confused) Wha... I was sure this led to the library. Billy looks at a couple students playing on the other side of the fence. Buffy goes over to him.", "Buffy: They're just playing. What is it? What's bothering you?", "Billy: Baseball. When you lose, it's bad.", "Buffy: Did you lose your game last week?", "Billy: (nods) It was my fault.", "Buffy: Why was it your fault?", "Billy: I missed a ball and I should have caught it.", "Buffy: You missed one ball and the whole game was your fault? What, you were the only one playing? There wasn't eight other people on your team?", "Billy: He said it was my fault.", "Buffy: Who said? Billy, did he hurt you after the game?", "Billy: Can we go another way to find your friends?", "Buffy: Sure. Okay. We can go around the cafeteria. The Ugly Man comes in their direction and punches a student out.", "Buffy: Bad idea! (looks around) Uh, this way! C'mon! She pushes Billy ahead of her through some bushes. When they get through to the other side they are in the cemetery, and it's night.", "Buffy: What just happened?", "Billy: Is this where your friends are?", "Buffy: No, it's not.", "Cut to the basement. The show director is pulling Willow through a door to a dressing room. She is dressed in a green kimono for the part of Cio-Cio-San, the title character of Puccini's opera Madame Butterfly.", "Director: Man, I thought you weren't gonna show! Aldo is beside himself. He makes some adjustments to her kimono. Willow can hear the Emcee make his announcement on the stage.", "Emcee: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present two of the world's greatest singers! The audience begins to applaud. The director guides Willow onto the auditorium stage behind the curtain.", "Director: I hope you're warmed up. It's an ugly crowd out there tonight. All the reviewers showed up.", "Emcee: All the way from Firenze, Italy, the one and only Aldo Gianfranco! And all the way from Sunnydale, California, the world's finest soprano, Willow Rosenberg! Willow sees Aldo on stage through the curtain, dressed in a tuxedo and holding out his hand to greet her. She backs away into the director.", "Willow: But I... I didn't learn the words! The director gives her a shove onto the stage, and she stumbles through the curtains and bumps into Aldo. He shoots her a look. She's terrified. The applause dies down. The spotlight is on Aldo, and he begins to sing the famous love duet from Act I.", "Aldo: Bimba dagli occhi pieni di malia, ora sei tutta mia.", "Translation: Child, from whose eyes the witchery is shining, now you are all my own. The spotlight moves to Willow when it's her turn. She is stiff with fear and remains silent as she looks between Aldo and the crowd. Realizing she's not going to sing, Aldo begins again, and the spotlight shifts back to him.", "Aldo: Sei tutta vestita di giglio. Mi piace la treccia tua bruna fra i candidi veli.", "Translation: You're dressed all in white like a lily. Your ebony tresses are shining on ivory shoulders. When he finishes his bar he gives her an annoyed look and stomps his foot. She's still frightened.", "Willow: (meekly) My turn?", "Aldo: (annoyed) Mm-hmm! She turns to the crowd and lets out a high-pitched squeak. Numerous murmurs come from the audience. Aldo is disgusted and turns away.", "Cut to the halls. There are sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling. Xander pushes though a pair and stops. His hands are full of various chocolate bars.", "Xander: I love these bars! He spots another one on the floor.", "Xander: A Chocolate Hurricane! These are the best! I haven't had one of these since my... He hears incessant giggling coming toward him.", "Xander: ...sixth... (looks around) ...birthday. He sees a shadow come up behind another sheet of plastic, and a clown suddenly bursts through. Xander screams in terror as the clown holds up a knife. Xander falls as he tries to get away and somersaults backward into the next hall. He starts to crawl away fast.", "Cut to the cemetery. Buffy walks and looks around.", "Buffy: I don't see the Ugly Man. I also don't know where the sun and the rest of the world went.", "Billy: Look at this. She looks down where Billy is looking and sees a freshly dug grave with an open pine coffin inside.", "Billy: I guess we're gonna bury someone. I wonder who died.", "Master: Nobody died. Buffy and Billy look up at him in surprise.", "Master: What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead? She stares at him in disbelief.", "Buffy: You!", "Master: So! This is the Slayer! You're prettier than the last one.", "Buffy: This isn't real. Y-you can't be free!", "Master: You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares are made flesh. You have little Billy to thank for that. She looks behind her, but Billy is gone. She turns back to the Master.", "Buffy: This is a dream.", "Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes. (grabs Buffy by the neck.) This is real life. (pulls her around so her back is to the open grave) Come on, Slayer! What are you afraid of? He growls and bares his teeth, but doesn't bite. He throws her into the coffin at the bottom of the grave, and the lid slams shut.", "Buffy: No! Help me!", "Master: How 'bout being buried alive? The Master laughs maniacally as he starts to shovel dirt into the grave.", "Buffy: Somebody help me! Please! No! No! Please! No! No! No! Somebody help me! Please! No! The first shovelful of dirt hits the coffin, and some falls in through the cracks of the poorly constructed coffin.", "Buffy: Please! No! Help me! No! The next shovelful of dirt covers the crack between the boards.", "Buffy: Help! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The halls. Willow comes through a door while being pelted with tomatoes. Xander runs up to her.", "Xander: Did you find Buffy?", "Willow: I had to sing! Very bad to sing!", "Xander: Willow, c'mon. Let's find the others.", "Willow: What happened to you?", "Xander: Remember my sixth birthday party?", "Willow: (laughs) Oh, yeah! When the clown chased you and you got so scared that you had... (stops smiling) Oh! The clown slices through a sheet of plastic. Willow screams and they start to run, right into Giles.", "Giles: No sign of Buffy? They grab hold of him and pull him with them. He sees the clown and starts to run, too. When they reach the end of the hall Xander stops, tired of the whole thing. He goes up to the clown, and as the clown raises his knife to attack, Xander punches him dead in the face and knocks him out.", "Xander: You are a lousy clown! Your balloon animals are pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe! They leave the clown lying there. Cut outside. They come running out of the building and stop.", "Xander: I feel good! I feel liberated! People are running past them.", "Giles: You seem to be the only one. Things are getting worse. In a few hours reality will fold completely into the realm of nightmares.", "Willow: Well, what do we do?", "Giles: The only thing I can think is to try and wake Billy.", "Xander: Uh, no, we can't leave without Buffy.", "Giles: Agreed, but who knows where she might have gone? Willow sees a dimensional rift to the graveyard across the street.", "Willow: Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street?", "Xander: And when did they make it night over there? They walk through the rift into the cemetery.", "Xander: Whose nightmare is this? Giles looks at a gravestone that reads: Buffy Summers 1981 - 1997.", "Giles: It's mine. They all gather around the grave. Giles kneels next to it.", "Giles: I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry... He lays his hand on the fresh soil. As he starts to get up a hand reaches up through the dirt and grabs his. Willow screams. Giles tears himself away as Buffy comes up through the dirt out of the grave. She brushes herself off.", "Giles: Buffy? She looks up. She has turned into a vampire.", "Buffy: I thought I was dead!", "Willow: Buffy, your face! Buffy feels her face and realizes what's happened.", "Buffy: Oh, God! She keeps her hands up to hide her face. Xander takes a couple of steps toward her.", "Xander: Buffy...", "Buffy: (turns away) Don't look at me!", "Giles: You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.", "Buffy: This isn't a dream.", "Giles: No. No, it's not. But there's a chance that we can make it go away. This all comes from Billy. Now, if, if we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place, but we must do it now! I need you to hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that? She looks up at Giles.", "Buffy: (nods) Yeah. I think I can.", "Giles: Thank you. They face the others.", "Buffy: Well, we better hurry... 'cause I'm getting hungry. (starts away)", "Xander: (following) That is a... joke, right?", "Willow: Are you sure everything will go back once he's awake?", "Giles: Oh, uh, positive.", "Willow: Well, how do we wake Billy up? What if we can't?", "Giles: Willow, do shut up.", "Cut to the hospital. Pandemonium reigns. They come running down the hall to Billy's room. The doctor is there looking into Billy's room.", "Giles: Doctor! Is the boy Billy still here?", "Doctor: My hands! The doctor's hands are severely crippled. He goes away. They run into Billy's room.", "Xander: What now?", "Giles: Um... (bends down to Billy) Billy! Billy?", "Billy: That won't work. His astral body is standing by the curtains. Giles looks up at him.", "Giles: Billy! Uh, Billy, you have to wake up.", "Billy: No. I told her. I have to hide.", "Giles: Why? From what?", "Buffy: From him! She's still in the hall and sees the Ugly Man coming toward her. Giles goes over to the window to look.", "Xander: Aw, man, what do we do?", "Buffy: I think I know. She takes off her jacket. Willow hears buzzing outside and peeks through the blinds to see giant black wasps flying over the town.", "Willow: Whatever it is, it better be soon!", "Cut to the hall. The Ugly Man is making his way toward Buffy.", "Buffy: Glad you showed up! You see, I'm having a really bad day.", "Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen!", "Buffy: Scary! I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. (takes two steps forward) And I'm one of them. The Ugly Man stops in his tracks and looks at her. She roars and runs to attack. She jumps on him, knocks him down and punches him twice in the face. She tries for a third punch, but he blocks her and gets his foot under her stomach. He pushes hard, and Buffy falls backwards. She gets up quickly and roundhouse kicks him in the gut, making him double over, but he pushes her into the window of Billy's room and then throws her into the opposite wall. He tries to punch her with his club arm, but she ducks, and his arm slams into a wall. She comes up behind him and side kicks him in the back. He slams into her, knocking her through the door into Billy's room and against his bed. She gets up to face him as he comes in after her. He swings again with his club arm, but she grabs it and roughly brings it down, breaking it over her knee. He wails in pain, and she body checks him into the wall, where he hits his head and slumps to the floor unconscious. Everyone just stares at him.", "Billy: I-is he dead?", "Buffy: Come here, Billy.", "Billy: I, I don't...", "Buffy: You have to do the rest. Billy slowly comes around the bed and over to the Ugly Man.", "Willow: What are they doing? Giles gestures for her to be quiet.", "Xander: I get it. Buffy takes Billy's hand. He looks up at her.", "Buffy: No more hiding. Billy looks down at the Ugly Man. Buffy lets go of his hand, and he reaches for the Ugly Man's neck. He peels back his face and a bright light streams out. In the next instant everything is back to normal. The Ugly Man is gone, Buffy is herself again, Xander and Willow are in their regular clothes and the hospital is functioning. Buffy smiles and feels her face. Willow breathes a sigh of relief. Billy wakes up.", "Xander: Hey, he's waking up! They all gather around.", "Billy: I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you... Who are you people? They all smile.", "Giles: Let's get a doctor. Billy's coach comes in as Giles and Xander are about to go get a doctor.", "Coach: Oh! Huh. Billy's got company. (takes off his cap) I-I-I'm his kiddie league coach. I come by here every day, just hoping against hope that he's gonna wake up soon. He's, uh, my lucky nineteen. Giles and Buffy exchange a look.", "Coach: So, um, how is he? Buffy steps aside to show him that Billy's awake.", "Buffy: He's awake.", "Coach: What?", "Buffy: You blamed him for losing the game. So you caught up with him afterwards, didn't you?", "Coach: (acting innocent) What are you talking about?", "Billy: (sits up) You said that it was my fault that we lost. The coach realizes he's been found out and tries to get away. Xander grabs him by the jacket and stops him.", "Billy: It wasn't my fault. There's eight other players on the team. You know that. (lies down)", "Buffy: (to Billy) Nice going! (smiles) Billy smiles back.", "Cut to the school. Willow, Buffy and Xander are walking.", "Buffy: I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that.", "Xander: Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surprised it wasn't one of the parents.", "Willow: I'm just glad he's behind bars where he belongs.", "Buffy: But that was kinda heroic, Xander, grabbing him and all.", "Xander: Well, I just did what anyone else would've. I mean, if you wanna label it heroic... Hank drives up, honks and gets out of the car and waves.", "Hank: Hi!", "Buffy: Have a killer weekend, guys! Xander bows his head to her. Buffy goes to her dad. Hank comes up the steps and hugs his daughter.", "Hank: Hi, sweetheart! Oh, it's so good to see you! (releases the hug) How was your day?", "Buffy: Fine. You know, usual.", "Willow: (to Xander) Personal question?", "Xander: Yeah, shoot!", "Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?", "Xander: Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque!", "Willow: Still dug her, huh?", "Xander: I'm sick, I need help.", "Willow: Don't I know it." ]

[ "Ignored by students and teachers alike, Marcie literally becomes invisible, then uses her affliction to terrorize Cordelia and her friends. Sympathetic at first, Buffy nevertheless stops Marcie when she goes too far. Men in black come to take Marcie away." ]

[ "In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School.", "Cordelia: I just love springtime.", "Cut to the halls. Cordelia has her arms around her current boyfriend Mitch, and they and Harmony are walking down the hall.", "Cordelia: Me and bright spring fashions!", "Mitch: Spring training.", "Cordelia: Me at the end of school dance.", "Harmony: The end of school.", "Cordelia: Definitely. My favorite time of year. (giggles) I am, of course, having my dress specially made. Off the rack gives me hives.", "Mitch: Lemme guess: blue, like your eyes! (laughs)", "Cordelia: (laughs) My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller.", "Harmony: You two will look so fine together in the May Queen photo.", "Cordelia: Well, I haven't been elected May Queen yet. They've reached the library doors, and Buffy comes barging out. She bumps into Mitch and drops her bag, spilling out its contents: a couple of stakes, a couple of crosses, a mace and other stuff.", "Cordelia: Uhhh! Behold, the weirdness!", "Buffy: (looks up) You're probably wondering what I'm doing with this stuff, huh?", "Cordelia: Wow, I'm not!", "Buffy: Uh, for history class. Mr. Giles has this, like, hobby of collecting stuff... which he lent me... for show and tell. D-did I mention it's for history class?", "Harmony: She is always hanging with that creepy librarian in that creepy library. Cordelia and company continue down the hall.", "Cordelia: (to Mitch) Hey, did I ever tell you about the time that she attacked me? At the Bronze? I don't know why this school admits mentals like her. They laugh. Buffy watches them go with a depressed look on her face.", "Cut to English class. They are discussing 'The Merchant of Venice'.", "Ms. Miller: 'If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?' (looks at the class) Okay. So talk to me, people. How does what Shylock says here about being a Jew relate to our discussion about the anger of the outcast in society?", "Cordelia: Well, how about color me totally self-involved?", "Ms. Miller: Care to elaborate?", "Cordelia: Yeah. With Shylock it's whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him. He acts like it's justice, him getting a pound of Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, it's yicky.", "Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?", "Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.", "Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about *her* leg! Like *my* pain meant nothing.", "Ms. Miller: Well, Cordelia's raised an interesting point here. (the bell rings) Which we'll pursue at a later time. The students get up to leave. Cordelia comes up to Ms. Miller's desk.", "Cordelia: Ms. Miller?", "Ms. Miller: Good observations today, Cordelia. It's always exciting to know someone's actually done the reading. Willow rolls her eyes behind Cordelia and leaves.", "Cordelia: Thanks. Um, I wanna talk to you about my final paper. I'm real unfocused. I have all these thoughts, and I'm pretty sure they all contradict each other.", "Ms. Miller: Well, I have your outline here, but why don't you stop by tomorrow after school? We'll go over it then.", "Cordelia: That'd be great! Thanks a lot. (starts to leave)", "Ms. Miller: You're welcome. I'll see you then.", "Cordelia: Okay! Bye! (goes into the hall) Harmony!", "Harmony: Hi!", "Cordelia: They called and said the dress is ready. It's so great! Mitch is gonna die!", "Cut to the boys' locker room. Mitch comes out of the showers, drying himself off. He wraps his towel around his waist and goes over to his locker. He dries his hair a bit with another towel, and then reaches into his locker for his clothes. Another boy closes his locker and comes over to him as he pulls on his pants.", "Bud: Hey, Mitch! You goin' to the Bronze?", "Mitch: Later. I'm pickin' up my tux first.", "Bud: Uh huh.", "Mitch: Gotta look sharp for the big dig. Another boy comes over and joins them.", "Bud: Oh, that's right! You gotta look good to be on Cordelia's arm!", "Mitch: Oh, it's not her arm I'm lookin' to be on. (laughs) The boys laugh and then go. Cut to a shot of Mitch approaching from the other side. Footsteps can be heard, and then a girl's giggling. Mitch hears it and looks around.", "Mitch: Who's there? He doesn't see anyone, so he continues getting dressed. He hears the giggling again, and looks behind him where he thinks it's coming from.", "Mitch: Okay, fun time's over, come out. He reaches for a bat on top of the lockers, but it floats up by itself. The bat swings and hits him, and he falls down. The bat swings again but misses and hits the locker doors. It hits him on his upper left arm twice. Another swing of the bat hits him in the face, and he's knocked unconscious. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the halls at school. Cordelia hands out chocolates while campaigning for May Queen.", "Cordelia: Now, remember who to vote for for May Queen! As in me!", "Boy: Thanks. She sees Harmony and walks over to her.", "Cordelia: Hi! Isn't this the bomb? I'm such the campaign strategist. Harmony takes one and sees the 'C' on the wrapper.", "Harmony: 'C'. For Cordelia?", "Cordelia: No, 'C' for Wilma, little brain! Of course, 'C' for Cordelia! This way people will associate me with something sweet! She absently continues to the next student.", "Cordelia: Here's a chocolate... (sees it's Buffy and pulls her hand back) Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote. (leaves)", "Buffy: Well, I-I don't even *like* chocolates. (to herself) Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times. Xander and Willow arrive.", "Xander: So, what's Cordelia up to?", "Buffy: Bribery. She's desperate to be May Queen.", "Xander: Cordelia, man, she does love titles!", "Willow: (reminded by that, laughing hysterically) Oh, God! Remember in sixth grade with the field trip?", "Xander: Right! Right! The guy with the antlers on his belt!", "Willow: Be my Deputy!", "Xander: And remember the, the hat?", "Willow: Oh God! The hat!", "Buffy: Gee, it's fun that we're speaking in tongues.", "Willow: I'm sorry. (calms down)", "Xander: It's just that we had this, uh... You had to be there.", "Willow: It's not even funny.", "Xander: Really.", "Willow: Uh, Cordelia just has a history of trying too hard.", "Xander: Yeah, what kind of moron would wanna be May Queen anyway?", "Buffy: (turns to her locker) I was.", "Xander: You what?", "Buffy: At my old school.", "Xander: Oh! So the, uh, *good* kind of moron would do that. The, uh, non-moron, I mean.", "Buffy: (closes her locker and turns back) Well, we didn't call it 'May Queen', but we had the coronation, and the dance, and all that stuff. It was nice.", "Xander: Well, you know, you don't need that anymore. You got us!", "Willow: (cracks up again) Be my Deputy! Oh, God... Buffy feels very left out. Suddenly Bud comes running down the hall with news about Mitch.", "Bud: Guys! C'mon! (Buffy looks up) Mitch got whaled on! I think he's...", "Cut to the door to the gym. Principal Snyder is talking to the students.", "Snyder: Dead? Of course not. What are you, ghouls? They all turn to look when the paramedics open the doors to the gym and wheel Mitch out.", "Snyder: There are no dead students here. This week. Clear back, make room, all of you. Buffy grabs the gurney and stops it.", "Buffy: Mitch, what happened?", "Mitch: I don't know. I, I heard something. I tried to grab a, a bat... (guffaws, unable to believe what he's saying) that hit me.", "Buffy: What hit you?", "Mitch: The bat! By itself, the thing was floating, it knocked me out. The paramedics wheel him away.", "Buffy: (to Xander) I'd better check out the scene. (starts toward the locker room)", "Snyder: Where do you think you're going?", "Buffy: (stops and faces him) Um, Mitch wanted me to get his comb. He, he likes his comb.", "Snyder: I don't think Mitch needs his comb right now. I think Mitch needs medical attention. Willow and Xander exchange a look.", "Snyder: And you need to stay away from the crime scene. Always sticking your nose in.", "Willow: (loudly) Sue? What did you say? Mitch was gonna sue the school?", "Snyder: (diverted by Willow) Sue? Who? Buffy mouths a 'thank you' to Willow and Xander and quickly goes onto the locker room.", "Xander: Well, his dad is the most powerful lawyer in Sunnydale.", "Snyder: Hold on. What have you two heard?", "Xander: His dad, the lawyer. You haven't heard of him?", "Willow: Other lawyers call him 'The Beast'.", "Cut to the locker room. It's deserted. Buffy walks quietly and looks around. She sees the bat on the floor and goes over to it. She nudges it with her foot and it just rolls away. She goes into the nearest row of lockers where four of the locker doors are damaged and wide open. She looks into one of the lockers and notices a large letter on the door next to it. She closes all the lockers and sees the word 'look' painted in red.", "Cut to later in the cafeteria during lunch.", "Willow: 'Look'? That's all it said?", "Xander: Look at what? Look at Mitch?", "Buffy: Maybe. All I know is it's a message.", "Xander: And...", "Giles: (finds them) Ah, here you are.", "Buffy: And monsters don't usually send messages. It's pretty much crush, kill, destroy. This was different.", "Giles: I'd have to say you're right.", "Buffy: I love it when he says that! Any theories?", "Giles: (takes a seat) Uh, I'm, uh, it's a bit of a puzzle, really. Um, I've never actually heard of anyone attacked by a lone baseball bat before.", "Xander: Maybe it's a vampire bat. (no response from the others) I'm alone with that one, huh?", "Giles: Well, assuming the bat itself is not possessed, uh, there are a few possibilities that bear investigating. Uh, someone with telekinesis, uh, the power to move objects at will, uh, uh, an invisible creature, um, or possibly a poltergeist.", "Willow: A ghost?", "Giles: Yes, and a very angry one.", "Buffy: Yeah, I'd say. The locker room was a real scene.", "Willow: If it's a ghost, then we're talking about a dead kid.", "Buffy: I guess so. You know, why don't you compile a list of dead or missing kids? It's probably a good place to start.", "Giles: And, uh, I'll research all the possibilities, ghosts included. But, uh, Xander, if you're not doing anything, would you like to help me?", "Xander: What, so there's homework now? When did that happen?", "Buffy: It's all part of the glamorous world of vampire slayage.", "Xander: Well, what part do you have?", "Buffy: Gonna find out what I can about Mitch. This attack wasn't random.", "Xander: Well, I want that part.", "Buffy: Fine. You can do it. Ask around, talk to his friends. Talk to Cordelia!", "Xander: Talk to Cordelia? (to Giles) So, research, huh?", "Cut to the balcony. Harmony finds Cordelia at the drinking fountain.", "Harmony: Hi!", "Cordelia: Oh, hi.", "Harmony: Cordelia, you weren't in fifth period.", "Cordelia: I went to the hospital.", "Harmony: Oh, Mitch. How is he? Will he be okay?", "Cordelia: Well, the doctor says he'll be fine. They're gonna send him home tomorrow. But... you should've seen him lying there. All black and blue? How's he gonna look in our Prom pictures? How am I ever gonna be able to show them to anyone?", "Harmony: Well, they can do wonderful things with airbrushes these days.", "Cordelia: You think? Marcie has a flashback. Harmony finds Cordelia at the drinking fountain.", "Harmony: Hi!", "Cordelia: Hi! Did you see Mitch? He just broke up with Wendy eight seconds ago, and he's already nosing around.", "Harmony: It's shameless!", "Cordelia: In the spring, if he makes varsity baseball, maybe I'll take him on a test drive.", "Marcie: Hi, guys!", "Cordelia: What do *you* want? The flashback is over. Cordelia and Harmony walk along the balcony toward the stairs.", "Cordelia: I just hope they can prop him up long enough to take the picture.", "Buffy: (from the door) Cordelia, can I talk to you?", "Cordelia: Oh, great.", "Harmony: Why is she always try... Uff! She jerks backward and tumbles down the stairs. Buffy, Cordelia and others come running down after her. Principal Snyder saw it happen, too.", "Cordelia: Harmony!", "Snyder: Oh, for heaven sakes! Clear back, everyone! Give her some air! (to a student) You! School nurse, now! The student nods and scrambles to get the nurse.", "Harmony: Ow! Oh, my ankle! I think it's broken.", "Buffy: What happened?", "Snyder: (to Buffy) Hey! Who's the principal here? (to Harmony) What happened?", "Cordelia: She fell! She, she, we were standing at the top of the stairs and she just fell! All by herself!", "Harmony: No! I was pushed! Buffy gets up when she hears laughter and footsteps going up the stairs. She follows the sounds up the stairs. Snyder bends down and touches Harmony's ankle.", "Harmony: Ow!", "Snyder: Don't sue. Buffy reaches the top of the stairs and still hears the laughter. She sees a door close and follows whoever it was in. Cut inside.", "Buffy: Is anybody here? She feels something bump her and hears footsteps going into the band room. She looks around, confused.", "Buffy: Hey! Who's here? She goes into the band room and hears activity somewhere. The ceiling access hatch in the corner rises up, but Buffy doesn't notice it.", "Buffy: Okay, I know someone's here. Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna talk to you. The ceiling hatch lowers back into place. Buffy looks around and finally leaves. The camera pans from Buffy up to the ceiling hatch in a corner above a cabinet. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The main entrance to Sunnydale High after school. Students are leaving for the day. The camera pans over to two men dressed in black suits watching the student's activity.", "Buffy: Giles, have you ever touched a ghost?", "Giles: Uh, no. From what I've heard, uh, having a, a ghost pass through you is a singular experience. It's a, it's a rather, uh, cold amorphous feeling. It makes your hair stand on end.", "Buffy: You see, that's my problem. I touched the thing, but it didn't go through me. It bumped into me. And it wasn't cold.", "Xander: So, we're talking about what, an invisible person?", "Buffy: A girl. She laughed.", "Giles: A girl on campus with the ability to become invisible.", "Xander: That is so cool!", "Willow: Cool?", "Xander: Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room.", "Giles: It must be a fairly heady experience... having that ability.", "Willow: How'd she get it? Is she a witch? 'Cause we can fight a witch.", "Xander: Hmm. Greek myths speak of cloaks of invisibility, but they're usually for the gods. (gets looks from everyone) Research Boy comes through with the knowledge!", "Buffy: This girl's sorta petty for a god.", "Willow: She's got a grudge. But why Harmony?", "Xander: Harmony and Mitch. The common denominator is...", "Buffy: Cordelia!", "Willow: So what now?", "Buffy: First thing tomorrow, why don't you pull up that missing kids list?", "Willow: Got it. I'll see ya then.", "Buffy: Bye.", "Xander: See ya. (leaves with Willow) Oh, hey, do you wanna come to our place tonight for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place.", "Willow: Xander, do you guys even have a stove?", "Giles: (to Buffy) So, I'll look into ways that you can de-cloak an invisible someone. What about you?", "Buffy: I think Cordelia's gonna be workin' on her May Queen dress tonight. Maybe there'll be some action. Guess I'm gonna start the hunt.", "Giles: How exactly do you propose to hunt someone you can't see? Buffy gives Giles an inquisitive look. Cut to the halls that night. The shadow on the floor shows the doors opening.", "Giles: You may have to work on listening to people.", "Buffy: Very funny.", "Giles: I thought so. Buffy comes into the hall and hears activity to her left. She finds the room where Cordelia and her friends are getting her dress ready. They fuss over the dress. Buffy hears the conversation and laughter coming from the room.", "Cordelia: Should I wear my hair up? Do you think I should wear it up? Buffy peeks through the door to watch.", "Cordelia: How does the, um, hem go? Is it, is it long enough, or... Buffy smiles.", "Cordelia: Isn't it beautiful? Buffy looks down and remembers her own experience as Prom Queen. As she turns to go she hears a flute playing. She begins to follow the sound.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes up the stairs and stops when he hears the music, too. The music stops, and he continues into the stacks. He hears a squeaking and stops again.", "Giles: Who's there? After a moment he takes a few steps to a glass-enclosed bookcase and sees his reflection. He turns away and is startled by Angel standing there. He looks back at his reflection but doesn't see one for Angel.", "Giles: (exhales) A vampire casts no reflection.", "Angel: Don't worry. I'm not here to eat.", "Giles: Buffy told me you don't feed from humans anymore.", "Angel: Not for a long while.", "Giles: Is that why you're here? To see her?", "Angel: I can't. It's, uh... It's too hard for me to be around her.", "Giles: A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way. What can I, uh... What can I do for you?", "Angel: I know you've been researching the Master.", "Giles: Yes, the vampire king. I've tried to learn as much as I can about him for the day that Buffy must face him.", "Angel: Something's already in motion, something big, but I don't know what. You've read all the Slayer lore there is, right?", "Giles: I-I've studied all the extant volumes, of course. But the, uh, most salient books of Slayer prophecy have been lost. The Tiberius Manifesto, the Pergamum Codex...", "Angel: The Codex?", "Giles: It's reputed to have contained the most complete prophecies about the Slayer's role in the end years. Unfortunately, the book was lost in the 15th century.", "Angel: Not lost. Misplaced. I can get it.", "Giles: (exhales, astounded) That would be most helpful! Uh, m-my own volumes have... been rather useless of late.", "Angel: (looks at Giles' book) Legends of Vishnu?", "Giles: (a bit embarrassed) There's an... invisible girl terrorizing the school.", "Angel: That's not really my area of expertise.", "Giles: Nor mine, I'm afraid. Uh, it's fascinating, though. By all accounts it's a, a... a wonderful power to possess.", "Angel: Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror everyday and seeing nothing there. (cut to Giles' reflection) It's an overrated pleasure.", "Cut to a girls' restroom. Marcie is having another flashback. She looks at herself in the mirror. Cordelia and her friends come in.", "Cordelia: God! I am never sitting through another one of those alumni lectures again. Two hours of 'My Trek Through Nepal'. Hello! There is nobody caring.", "Marcie: And did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it looks like a cabbage.", "Cordelia: And those slides! 'That's a mountain. That's a mountain, too. Now look at some mountains.'", "Harmony: I swear, he had three slides and just used them over and over.", "Marcie: I know, but did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it was, like, the worst!", "Harmony: (to Marcie) We're talking, okay?", "Cordelia: Oh! And did you guys check out that extreme toupee? Yeah, that's realistic. It looked like a cabbage. They all laugh. Cordelia and her friends leave the restroom. Marcie stays behind and feels very left out.", "Snyder: The winner is Cordelia Chase!", "Cut to the quad where a stage has been set up.", "Snyder: Let's bring up our new May Queen. The students in the quad all applaud. Xander and Willow walk out of the crowd.", "Cordelia: Thank you for making the right choice, and for showing me how much you all love me. (applause) Being this popular is not just my right, but my responsibility, and I want you to know I take it very seriously.", "Cut to Buffy leaning on a nearby pillar. Willow and Xander come up to her.", "Cordelia: It all began when...", "Xander: So, Giles said you'd be here. Why are you being here?", "Buffy: Last night was a bust. But I still think Cordy's the key.", "Willow: This is the dead and missing list. I pulled up their classes, activities, medical records...", "Buffy: Good work. Willow notices the two men in black suits loitering by some stairs.", "Willow: Has Cordelia hired a bodyguard or something? Xander sees them too, and he and Willow exchange a look.", "Buffy: Hey, you guys, check out this one. It's the most recent one, Marcie Ross, disappeared, like, six months ago.", "Xander: I don't know her.", "Willow: Me neither.", "Buffy: Her only activity was band. She played the flute.", "Willow: So?", "Buffy: Well, last night when I was hunting, I heard this flute, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. And it was in the band room that I lost Miss Invisible yesterday. You know what, this all tracks. I'm gonna check it out. See you guys later?", "Xander: Okay, we'll see you after geometry.", "Cordelia: (still giving her acceptance speech) Ask not what your school can do for you, ask: Hey! What am I wearing to the Spring Fling?", "Cut to the band room. Buffy looks around and almost runs into a chair. She notices a boot print on it, guesses it was used as a step to climb and looks up. She notices in the corner of the ceiling that there's an access hatch. She climbs up onto the cabinet and crawls over to the hatch. She lifts it up and puts it aside as she pokes her head in and has a look around. She climbs up onto the ceiling and begins to crawl through the space. Near a skylight she finds Marcie's things. Her flute is there, and Buffy picks it up to look at it. The camera shows Marcie's view as she watches Buffy go through her stuff. Buffy picks up her teddy bear, looks at it and puts it back. She looks under some sheet music, finds Marcie's yearbook, pulls it out and opens it.", "Buffy: Marcie Ross. So it is you. As Buffy sits there and reflects, a knife floats in midair behind her left shoulder. Buffy closes the yearbook and takes it with her as she starts back to the hatch. In the band room she closes the hatch and climbs back down from the cabinet.", "Cut to Ms. Miller's classroom. She's waiting for Cordelia to show up. Marcie walks in and closes the door.", "Ms. Miller: Cordelia, could you possibly be on time? She looks up from her desk and sees no one's there. She goes back to her work as Marcie walks around behind her and giggles.", "Ms. Miller: Who's there? Marcie slips a plastic bag over Ms. Miller's head and ties it off. Cut to the hall. Cordelia arrives at the door and knocks. Cut inside. Ms. Miller is slumped over on her desk. Cordelia comes in.", "Cordelia: Ms. Miller? (sees her) Oh, my God! Ms. Miller! (lifts her up) Oh, my God! (pulls the bag off) Are you okay? Ms. Miller draws a sudden deep breath and begins coughing.", "Cordelia: Ms. Miller, what happened? Behind her at the chalkboard a piece of chalk floats up and begins to write.", "Ms. Miller: Attacked. Didn't see. The piece of chalk makes noise on the board, and Cordelia and Ms. Miller turn to see it finish writing the word 'listen'.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles is sitting at the table.", "Giles: A nest?", "Buffy: It looked like she'd been there for months. It's where I found this. She opens the yearbook and puts it on the table for Willow and Xander to see.", "Willow: Oh, my God! (reads) 'Have a nice summer. Have a nice summer.' This girl had no friends at all.", "Giles: Uh, once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.", "Buffy: 'Have a nice summer' is what you write when you have nothing to say.", "Xander: It's the kiss of death.", "Buffy: You guys didn't know Marcie Ross?", "Xander: Never met her. Why?", "Buffy: 'Cause you both wrote it, too. (points to Xander's signature)", "Xander: 'Have a nice...' Yeesh!", "Willow: Where am I? (Buffy points) Oh. 'Have a *great* summer.' See, I cared!", "Buffy: You guys don't remember her?", "Xander: No, I probably didn't see her except to sign the book. I mean, this is a big school.", "Willow: (looks at her printouts) Xander, we each had four classes with her last year.", "Buffy: So, no one noticed her, and now she's invisible.", "Xander: What, she turned invisible because no one noticed her?", "Giles: (hits the table) Of course! (gets up) I've been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I, I should have looked at the quantum mechanical! (gets looks from them all) Physics.", "Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?", "Giles: (gets a book) It's a rudimentary concept that, that reality is shaped, even, even... created by our perception.", "Buffy: And with the Hellmouth below us sending out mystical energy...", "Giles: People perceived Marcie as, as, as invisible, and, and, and, and she became so.", "Cut to Ms. Miller's class, where Marcie has another flashback.", "Ms. Miller: So, who knows the answer to this one? Think about it. Several students, including Marcie, raise their hands.", "Ms. Miller: Cordelia?", "Cordelia: Well, just because the story's about him, doesn't necessarily mean he's the hero, right?", "Ms. Miller: Exactly. So, what do we call him? Willow?", "Willow: Well, the protagonist.", "Ms. Miller: Xander?", "Xander: Why can't he be both? I mean, he did do some things that are pretty heroic.", "Ms. Miller: Absolutely. Who doesn't agree with that? Several students including Marcie raise their hands. Ms. Miller points to one.", "Ms. Miller: Okay. Marcie raises her hand again. Ms. Miller points to someone else.", "Ms. Miller: And how about you? Marcie becomes weary of constantly being passed over and sighs. She looks at her hand and watches as it becomes translucent and then transparent. Her flashback is over. Cut to the library.", "Buffy: This isn't this great power that she can control. It's something that was done to her. That *we* did to her.", "Willow: No wonder she's miffed.", "Xander: What does she want?", "Buffy: Just what we thought. Cordelia. She turns the yearbook to Willow and Xander to show them the marked up picture of Cordelia. Cordelia comes into the library and overhears her name.", "Cordelia: What? I knew you'd be here. Buffy, I, uh, I, I know we've had our differences, with you being so weird and all, and hanging out with these total losers... Willow and Xander can't believe that she just said that in front of them.", "Cordelia: Ooo! (exhales) Well, anyway, despite all of that, I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep down...", "Willow: Nausea?", "Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me!", "Xander: Wow! For once she's right!", "Buffy: So you've come to *me* for help.", "Cordelia: (nods) Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang. Buffy can't believe what she's hearing.", "Cordelia: Please! I don't have anyone else to turn to! Giles gets up and offers her a chair.", "Giles: Please. Sit down.", "Cordelia: Okay. Thanks.", "Giles: You know, I... I don't recall ever seeing you here before.", "Cordelia: Oh, no, I have a life.", "Buffy: Okay. (exhales) Cordelia, your attacker is an invisible girl.", "Xander: Who is really, really angry at you, which I... can't imagine personally, but it... takes all kinds, y'know?", "Cordelia: Well, I don't care what it is, just get rid of it!", "Buffy: Well, it's not that simple, it's a person, it's... (shows her the yearbook) It's this person. Now, do you have any idea why she'd be so...", "Cordelia: Oh, God! Is she really wearing Laura Ashley?", "Xander: So homicidal?", "Cordelia: (exhales) I have no idea! I've never seen this girl before in my life!", "Cut to the crawl space in the ceiling.", "Marcie: (maniacally) I won 'cause you didn't see me coming. Cordelia, you don't remember me. I remember you, all your idiot slut friends, I hate them. They take your life and they suck it out of you! But then they didn't see me coming. They gotta learn. They gotta learn.", "Cut to the library.", "Giles: According to what you told us about the attack on Ms. Miller, we now have two messages from Marcie: 'look' and 'listen'.", "Willow: Messages we don't understand.", "Buffy: I don't think we're supposed to... yet. Marcie's not quite ready. But from what she did to Cordelia's picture, I would say that she's wigged on the whole May Queen thing. Maybe she's gonna do something about it.", "Willow: Stop the coronation tonight, maybe. Keep you guys away from the Bronze?", "Cordelia: Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight!", "Xander: Uh, can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities?", "Cordelia: If I'm not crowned tonight then, then Marcie's won! And that would be bad. She's evil, okay? Way eviler than me.", "Buffy: Cordelia has a point.", "Cordelia: Buffy's with me on this.", "Buffy: Anyway, continuing the normal May Queen activities may be the best way to draw Marcie out. We can use Cordelia as bait.", "Cordelia: Great! Bait?", "Giles: Willow, Xander, you'll help me begin our research anew. Unless we find a way to cure Marcie's invisibility, then Buffy will be... Marcie is there now looking down from the stacks.", "Buffy: A sitting duck. They all get up to do their tasks.", "Buffy: (to Cordelia) C'mon.", "Cordelia: Well, I have to try on my dress. And am I really bait?", "Cut to the halls. Buffy and Cordelia are walking.", "Cordelia: So, how much the creepy is it that this Marcie's been at this for months? Spying on us? Learning our most guarded secrets? So, are you saying she's invisible because she's so unpopular?", "Buffy: That about sums it up.", "Cordelia: (exhales) Bummer for her. It's awful to feel that lonely.", "Buffy: Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling?", "Cordelia: (stops Buffy) Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.", "Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?", "Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself. She continues down the hall. After considering that for a moment Buffy quickly follows.", "Cut to the library. Willow hears a flute play.", "Willow: Shhh! Listen! They all listen for a moment and look in the direction of the music.", "Giles: Come on.", "Cut to the hall. They come out of the library.", "Giles: We could... talk to her. Perhaps reason with her. Or possibly grab her.", "Willow: There are three of us.", "Xander: Let's go! They start down the hall. Cut to a mop closet. Buffy opens the door and turns on the light.", "Cordelia: If you ever tell to anyone that I changed in a mop closet...", "Buffy: Your secret dies with me. (looks around) Looks okay. But hurry.", "Cordelia: Okay. She leaves the closet and closes the door behind her.", "Cut to the basement. Giles, Willow and Xander come down the stairs and look around. They all listen for the next direction to take. Xander hears the flute through a pair of heavy metal doors.", "Xander: Over here. He opens the door and they all follow him into the boiler room.", "Giles: Marcie? We know what happened to you. Please, can we talk to you?", "Willow: We're sorry we ignored you. Xander follows the sound of the flute over to a shelf where there's a tape recorder playing.", "Xander: Can you say 'gulp'? Marcie can be heard running from the room and slamming the door behind her. The main gas valve has been opened and is hissing.", "Giles: What's that sound?", "Cut to the hall. Buffy is talking to Cordelia through the door.", "Buffy: You know what you were saying before? I understand. Somehow it doesn't seem to matter how popular you are when...", "Cordelia: You were popular? In what alternate universe?", "Buffy: In L.A. Th-the point is, I did sort of feel like something was missing.", "Cordelia: Is that when you became weird and got kicked out?", "Buffy: Okay. Can we have the heartfelt talk with a little less talk from you? (no response) Cordelia? She hears noises inside the closet and some muffled screaming.", "Buffy: Cordelia! She tries the door, but it's locked.", "Buffy: Cordelia! She punches through the door and reaches in to unlock it. As she comes in she sees Cordelia being pulled through the ceiling.", "Cordelia: Buffy! Buffy tries to jump and grab her legs, but she's pulled through too quickly. Buffy steps back, takes a running jump up to grab a pipe and swings herself up and through the opening.", "Cut to the basement.", "Giles: It's gas. (checks the furnace) She's snuffed out the pilot light! The gas is on full! (looks around) I can't find the shutoff valve. Xander finds the valve handle on the floor.", "Xander: Is this it?", "Willow: Okay, that's bad. How 'bout the door? She and Xander slam themselves into it, but it doesn't budge. Xander spots a bar, grabs it and starts to swing it at the door like a ram.", "Giles: NO! One spark and you'll take the whole building with us!", "Cut to the ceiling crawl space. Buffy looks around and finds Cordelia lying there.", "Buffy: Cordelia! (kneels next to her) Cordelia! (takes her pulse) Oh, my God! She's looking around for what to do when Marcie kicks her. She rolls away and falls through a ceiling panel and onto a desk below, smashing it and getting knocked out. Marcie drops a medical bag next to her and opens it. Buffy wakes and lifts her head to look around. Marcie gets a syringe out of the bag and goes over to Buffy. She sees the needle at the last moment as Marcie injects her in the neck. Buffy's vision blurs, and in just a few seconds she falls back to the floor unconscious. ~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside the Bronze. Cut inside. Cordelia and Buffy are tied to the May King and Queen thrones. Buffy wakes up.", "Cordelia: Buffy? You're awake?", "Buffy: (a bit disoriented) Yeah.", "Cordelia: I can't feel my face!", "Buffy: What do you mean?", "Cordelia: My face. My face is numb. What is she doing?", "Buffy: I don't know. Cordelia looks at the curtain. 'Learn' is written on it in glitter.", "Cordelia: What does that mean?", "Buffy: I don't know.", "Cut to the basement. Giles tries to turn the gas valve off with his bare hands with some success.", "Giles: That should give us a few minutes, but we b... If we don't get out of this room soon...", "Willow: Why is Marcie doing this?", "Giles: The loneliness, the constant exile, she's... (coughs) she has gone mad!", "Xander: Ya think? (coughs)", "Cut to the Bronze. A tray wheels itself over to Buffy and Cordelia.", "Marcie: Uh, I'm disappointed. I'd really hoped you guys had figured it out by now.", "Buffy: Well, why don't you explain it? C'mon, Marcie, what are we supposed to learn?", "Cordelia: Yeah, what do you wanna teach us!", "Marcie: You don't get it. You're not the student. You're the lesson.", "Cordelia: What did you do to my face?", "Marcie: Your face. That's what this is all about, isn't it? Your beautiful face. That's what makes you shine just a little bit brighter than the rest of us. We all want what you have. To be noticed, remembered. To be seen.", "Cordelia: What are you doing?", "Marcie: Well, I'm fulfilling your fondest wish. She pulls off the cloth covering the tray, revealing several surgical instruments. Cordelia gasps when she sees them.", "Marcie: I'm gonna give you a face no one will ever forget.", "Cut to the basement. Willow is slouched on the floor, weakened by the lack of oxygen. Giles takes off his jacket and wraps it around the pole Xander found to prevent sparks.", "Giles: One, two, three! The two of them ram the door with the pole, and it makes a deep, loud boom, but it doesn't budge.", "Giles: Again! The door still won't budge.", "Cut to the Bronze.", "Buffy: Marcie, you can't do this.", "Marcie: What are you gonna do? Slay me?", "Buffy: Marcie, you know this is wrong.", "Marcie: (punches Buffy) You shoulda stayed outta my way. Y'know, I, I thought, I thought you would understand my vision, but you're just like them. She takes a scalpel from the tray and swings it at Cordelia's face.", "Cordelia: (gasps) Please don't do this! (watches the blade float in front of her) Nooohohoho!", "Marcie: You should be grateful. I mean, people who pass you in the street are gonna remember you for the rest of their lives. Buffy struggles to reach for the tray while Marcie concentrates on Cordelia.", "Marcie: Children are gonna dream about you. And every one of your, your friends who comes to the coronation tonight will take the sight of the May Queen to their graves.", "Cordelia: Wait!", "Marcie: No, we really have to get started. The local anesthetic's gonna wear off soon, and I don't want you to faint. It's less fun if you're not awake.", "Cut to the basement. Willow is unconscious. Xander and Giles are on the floor now, too.", "Xander: You guys are... I'm blacking out on you. He collapses onto Willow.", "Cut to the Bronze.", "Marcie: Let me see. I think we should start with your smile. I think it should be wider.", "Cordelia: Marcie, I know you think I don't understand, but I do!", "Marcie: Yeah, I'll *bet* you know how I feel. I'm sure you can just be with all your friends and feel so alone 'cause they don't really know you. You're just a typical, self-involved, spoiled little brat, and you think you can charm your way out of this, don't you?! ISN'T THAT WHAT", "YOU THINK?!", "She swings the scalpel and cuts Cordelia's cheek. Buffy looks at her in shock.", "Marcie: I see right through you. Buffy has freed her legs and kicks the instrument tray into Marcie. She stumbles back into the curtain. Buffy quickly pulls the rest of the ropes off and gets out of her chair.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! Get me out of here, please!", "Buffy: (starts working on Cordelia's ropes) Hold still! Marcie can be heard getting back up, and she kicks Buffy away from Cordelia. Cordelia screams.", "Cordelia: (crying) Uh, huh, huh, oh, my God!", "Cut to the basement. Giles is weakly slapping against the door. It suddenly opens, and Giles falls through it. Angel stands in the doorway and looks around and down. He quickly grabs Giles and helps him up.", "Angel: Come on! He helps Giles out of the room. He pulls Xander up, and he wakes and gets out by himself. Angel picks Willow up in his arms and carries her out. Giles slams the door closed. They all cough and try to breathe.", "Xander: What happened?", "Angel: You tell me.", "Willow: (waking up) I'm up, mom.", "Xander: (notices Angel) Hi! What do you want?", "Angel: I brought you the Codex. (hands the book to Giles) I came in through the basement. I smelled the gas.", "Giles: Yes, w-w-well shut it off, otherwise, uh, the whole building will go up!", "Angel: I'll get it. It's not like I need the oxygen.", "Giles: Come on, let's get out of here. He leads Willow and Xander up the stairs as Angel watches them go. When they're gone Angel goes into the room to shut off the gas.", "Cut to the Bronze. Buffy gets up.", "Buffy: Y'know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loony!", "Cordelia: Buffy, are you okay? Buffy tries to get up, but Marcie kicks her back down.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Buffy tries to get up again, but Marcie punches her and knocks her onto the chair.", "Cordelia: (screams) Buffy! Buffy falls off of the chair and tips it over onto herself in the process.", "Cordelia: (screams) Buffy! Oh, my God! Buffy gets up again and takes a blind swing.", "Marcie: Hey, moron! I'm invisible! (knocks Buffy down) How are you gonna fight someone you can't see?", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! She is in hysterics, and it's distracting Buffy.", "Buffy: Cordelia, shut up.", "Cordelia: (meekly) Okay. Buffy closes her eyes and tries to sense where Marcie is. Marcie slowly walks around her. The floor creaks under her foot and Buffy spins around and lands a punch right on target. Marcie staggers back into a red banner, and it wraps around her and gets pulled down with her. She gets up with the banner draped over her head.", "Buffy: I see you. She punches Marcie again, knocking her down once more. The side door opens, and several FBI men come in.", "Agent: Everybody stay where you are. Two agents run over to Buffy and Marcie.", "Doyle: (gun drawn) FBI! Nobody move!", "Manetti: (holds out his hand to keep Buffy back) Okay, we'll take it from here now, ma'am. (helps Marcie up)", "Buffy: Take what from where?", "Doyle: I'm agent Doyle, this is Agent Manetti. We're here for the girl.", "Buffy: Well, where were you ten minutes ago when she was playing surgeon?", "Doyle: I'm sorry, we came as fast as we could.", "Marcie: (to herself) Oh, my God!", "Doyle: (hands Marcie off to another agent) We'll take it from here on.", "Agent: C'mon.", "Buffy: You can cure her?", "Doyle: We can rehabilitate her.", "Manetti: In time she'll learn to be a useful member of society again. Marcie is led out of the Bronze by the other agents.", "Marcie: Where are we going?", "Doyle: Very useful.", "Buffy: (realizes) This isn't the first time this has happened, is it? It's happened at other schools.", "Manetti: We're not at liberty to discuss that.", "Doyle: It would be best for you to forget this whole incident.", "Buffy: Do you know that you guys are very creepy?", "Doyle: Thank you for your help.", "Manetti: Oh, and, uh... have a nice day. Buffy watches them go.", "Cordelia: Can I get untied now? Buffy turns to Cordelia and kneels down to untie her. She smiles up at Cordelia.", "Cut to the school halls the next day. The team is walking to the library.", "Buffy: I just can't believe how twisted Marcie got. By the way, how did you guys get out of the boiler room?", "Xander: Oh, well, when the gas was coming down, we...", "Giles: Janitor, um, found us. Shut the valve off.", "Willow: We were lucky.", "Buffy: I'll say. Cordelia comes down the hall toward them at a fast walk.", "Cordelia: Hi.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Cordelia: Look, um, I didn't get a chance to say anything yesterday with the coronation and everything... but, um, I guess I just wanted to say thank you, all of you.", "Xander: That's funny, 'cause she *looks* like Cordelia. Buffy elbows him in the chest.", "Cordelia: You really helped me out yesterday, and you didn't have to. So, thank you.", "Buffy: It's okay.", "Willow: Listen, we were gonna grab lunch in a minute if you wanted to...", "Mitch: (comes up behind Cordelia) Whoa, whoa. You're not hangin' with these losers, are you?", "Cordelia: Uhhh! Are you kidding? Heh! (takes his arm and leaves) I was just being charitable. Helping them with their fashion problems. Heh. You think I really felt like joining *that* social leper colony? Puh- leeease!", "Xander: Boy, where's an invisible girl when you really need one? They head into the library.", "Cut to an FBI building. Doyle and Manetti escort Marcie to a classroom.", "Doyle: I think you'll be happy here.", "Manetti: You should fit right in. Marcie doesn't answer, but just goes into the classroom. The only person visible in it is the teacher.", "Teacher: Welcome, Marcie.", "Marcie: Hey.", "Teacher: Class, this is Marcie.", "Class: Hi, Marcie.", "Teacher: Sit down. Marcie takes the chair on the end of the second row.", "Teacher: Okay, class, let's get started. Everybody turn to page fifty- four of your texts. Marcie opens her book and flips through to page fifty-four. The title of chapter eleven reads 'Assassination and Infiltration'.", "Marcie: Cool!" ]

[ "Buffy quits Slaying when a prophecy predicts she will die in battle against the Master and the Anointed One , but soon puts aside her fear and enters the fray on her own timetable and terms. In fulfillment of prophecy, the Master indeed kills the Slayer and opens the Hellmouth, but learns too late that Buffy is resilient, unpredictable-and lethal." ]

[ "In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze at night. Cut inside to Xander and Willow sitting at a table.", "Xander: You know how I feel about you. It's, uh, pretty obvious, isn't it? There's never been anyone else for me... but you. And we're good friends, and it's time to take the next step. Willow is listening to him dreamily.", "Xander: Would you, um... date me? Oh that's good! Date me! It's terrible, right?", "Willow: (comes back to earth) Huh? Oh, no! Oh, yes, 'date me' is silly...", "Xander: See, what I should do is I should just start with talking about the dance. (clears his throat) Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate. Just kill me!", "Willow: You're doing fine!", "Xander: Why's it so hard? I should just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I like you. Let's go to the dance together.'", "Willow: Direct and to the point.", "Xander: I'm ready. I wanna do it now. I *gotta* do it now.", "Willow: Oh, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more.", "Xander: No, no, I can't wait until tomorrow, I-I'll be thinking about it too much. Why didn't Buffy show up tonight? What's she doing?", "Willow: Oh, you know, the usual.", "Cut to the park. A car is parked in the distance with its windows all fogged up. Buffy comes falling into the field of view in slow motion and hits the ground hard on her back and exhales. Cut inside the car. Cordelia breaks off her kiss with Kevin.", "Cordelia: What was that?", "Kevin: What was what? Cut outside. Buffy props herself up. A vampire approaches her and growls. Cut inside the car.", "Cordelia: Someone's out there.", "Kevin: That's silly! Who would be out there? Cut outside. Buffy rolls in a reverse somersault and comes up standing, ready to fight. The vampire growls at her. She pulls a stake out from under her jacket behind her back and holds it pointing out from her hips so the vampire can see. He frowns at the sight of it as Buffy puts on an evil smile. This infuriates the vampire and he launches himself at her. She hits him with an out-to-in crescent kick, and then follows up with a high front snap kick, stunning him. She immediately plunges the stake home, and he falls over backward and bursts into ashes when he hits the ground.", "Buffy: Three in one night. Giles would be so proud.", "Cut to the roof of the library. The camera pans over to the skylight and looks in. Giles is at the table researching. He gets up and goes into his office to make some tea. Cut to Giles' office. He sits down at his desk with his cup of tea and reads the text of the Codex.", "Giles: Ho korias phanaytie toutay... tay nuktee. 'The Master shall rise...' Yes, yes, this is it! 'The Master shall rise, and the Slayer...' (looks up in disbelief) My God! He considers what he's just read for a moment and then reaches for his tea. The cup begins to jiggle, and he looks at it curiously. A few seconds later the whole building begins to shake, and he realizes he's experiencing his first earthquake. He gets up and looks around at everything shaking. His teacup vibrates off of the desk and smashes to pieces on the floor.", "Cut to the Bronze. The people panic. Xander grabs Willow and guides her away.", "Xander: Under the stairs! Under the stairs! They get under the stairs, and Willow grabs onto a step from underneath to steady herself. Someone rushing down the stairs nearly steps on her fingers, and she yelps as she pulls her hand back.", "Cut to Cordelia's car. She and Kevin hold on as they ride out the quake. Cut outside. Buffy looks around her at the shaking trees. Car alarms are going off everywhere.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office and sees several bookshelves fall over as the walls and the floor sustain severe damage.", "Cut to the Master's lair. He stands with his arms stretched out above him.", "Master: Yes! YES! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! GLORY! The quake is over as quickly as it started. The Master looks over at Collin.", "Master: Whadaya think? 5.1? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles comes out of his office and walks over to the cage. Buffy comes in.", "Buffy: Morning! She looks around at all the damage. Giles looks at her like he's just seen a ghost.", "Buffy: Wow. The damage looks fairly structural. Are we safe in here?", "Giles: Buffy!", "Buffy: What? Do I have something on my face? (pats her face)", "Giles: No! Uh, and, and yes, we're, we're safe. (indicates the stacks) Uh, but probably best not to go up there.", "Buffy: How're you doin' there, Giles? Get much sleep last night?", "Giles: Um... I-I-I've been working.", "Buffy: Me, too. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask. It's getting hairy out there, Giles. I killed three vampires last night, and one of them was practically on school grounds.", "Giles: Their numbers are increasing.", "Buffy: And they're getting cockier. Look, I'm not loving it. Last night was a pretty close call.", "Giles: (distracted) Yes.", "Buffy: Giles, care? I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go, 'hmm'.", "Giles: (still distracted) Hmm? Oh, sorry. Um, yes, I'm very glad that you're alright. Uh, I-I need to verify, um... I just can't really talk right now.", "Buffy: Fine. That's okay. I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate.", "Giles: (turns around quickly) What?!", "Buffy: Biology. The bell rings as Buffy leaves the library to go to class. Giles watches her go. Cut outside after class. Buffy, Xander and Willow come out of the doors onto the balcony and head down the stairs.", "Buffy: (exhales) Wow. That was boring.", "Xander: I don't feel that boring covers it.", "Buffy: No, boring falls short.", "Willow: Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd.", "Buffy: Don't say that.", "Willow: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?", "Xander: Willow, don't you have a thing?", "Willow: A thing? (remembers) The thing! That I have! Which is... a thing that I have to go to. They reach the bottom of the stairs.", "Willow: See ya later. (waves and departs)", "Buffy: What on earth is her deal?", "Xander: Uh, she's Willow. (laughs) So, uh, Buffy, I wanted to, um... There was this thing I wanted to ask you, to talk to you about.", "Buffy: Okay, what's up?", "Xander: Uh, let's go over here and sit. He leads her over to a bench.", "Buffy: Okay, now you're making me nervous.", "Xander: Oh, no, no, there's nothing to be nervous about. Really, it's silly. Ha, ha! (laughs nervously) They reach the bench, but a boy is sitting there.", "Xander: (to the boy) Hey. (the boy looks up) Leave. (the boy leaves) Thanks. (they sit)", "Buffy: Well?", "Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! (takes a breath) Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.", "Buffy: (speechless) I-I don't know what to say.", "Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more. I wanna dance with you.", "Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...", "Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest. (laughs nervously)", "Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.", "Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.", "Buffy: (looks down a moment, then back up) I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.", "Xander: Well, try. I'll wait. (smiles weakly)", "Buffy: Xander...", "Xander: Nah. Forget it. (gets up) I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you.", "Buffy: That's really harsh.", "Xander: Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?", "Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know...", "Xander: You know what? Let's just not. He goes into the building with his head hung low. Buffy exhales, bummed. She turns and watches him leave.", "Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone.", "Giles: Hello. Uh, this is Giles. Uh... Uh, Rupert Giles. Ms. Calendar walks in and stands by his office door.", "Giles: (into the phone) I-I need to see you. No, I-I realize that. Uh... Come after sundown. Good. I'll see you then. (hangs up)", "Ms. Calendar: You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore yesterday. Only wrinklier. Were you here all night?", "Giles: Sorry, uh... I'm not really up to, uh, socializing just now.", "Ms. Calendar: Something's going on, Rupert, and I'm guessing you already know what it is.", "Giles: (turns around and gets up) What do you know?", "Ms. Calendar: Well, I have been surfing the 'Net, looking for unexplained incidents. You know, people are always sending stuff my way. They know the occult's my turf. Now, here is the latest. A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. And throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I would say the end is pretty seriously nigh.", "Giles: I don't know if I can trust you.", "Ms. Calendar: I helped you cast that demon out of the Internet. I think that merits some trust. Look, I'm scared, okay? Oh, plus, I've got this, this crazy monk e-mailing me from Cortona about some Anointed One?", "Giles: The Anointed One? He's dead!", "Ms. Calendar: Someone's dead?", "Giles: Uh, who is this monk?", "Ms. Calendar: Uh, a brother Luca something? Keeps sending out global mailings about a prophecy.", "Giles: I need you to talk to him, find out everything he knows.", "Ms. Calendar: Look, Rupert, you haven't told me jack, so what's with the order?", "Giles: Just do it! I'll e-explain later.", "Ms. Calendar: You better.", "Cut to the halls.", "Kevin: I'll get everything tonight after practice. The guys'll help me.", "Cordelia: Well, it's all in the A-V room. The sound system, and the decorations... And, oh, Aura needs help, um, moving the coolers.", "Kevin: Don't sweat it!", "Cordelia: Well, bring everything to the Bronze, and I'll meet you there in the morning!", "Kevin: Done!", "Cordelia: (giggles) You're so sweet! Why're you so sweet?", "Kevin: I dunno! 'Cause I'm usually mean as a snake! She smiles at him. She spots Willow.", "Cordelia: Willow! (to Kevin) I'll see you in the morning.", "Kevin: Okay. (leaves)", "Cordelia: Willow! I really like your outfit!", "Willow: No, you don't.", "Cordelia: No, I really don't, but I need a favor.", "Willow: What kind?", "Cordelia: Well, the Bronze won't let us use their sound system, and I need someone who knows how to hook one up. If you could just show up tomorrow morning... Willow sees Xander throwing a ball against the wall in a classroom.", "Cordelia: ...I'd be really, really grateful! I mean, I'd talk to you at the dance and everything.", "Willow: Sure. (looks back at Xander)", "Cordelia: Great! Tomorrow at ten?", "Willow: Sure. She goes over to Xander in the room.", "Willow: Hey!", "Xander: Hey! (throws the ball)", "Willow: How'd it go?", "Xander: (throws the ball) On a scale of one to ten? It sucked. (throws the ball)", "Willow: Oh.", "Xander: Well, I guess it could be worse. (throws the ball) I could have gangrene on my face. (throws the ball)", "Willow: Well, what'd she say?", "Xander: Apart from 'no', does it really matter? She's still jonesin' for Angel, and could care less about me.", "Willow: At least now you know.", "Xander: Yeah, you're right. The deal's done. The polls are in, and it's time for my concession speech. (has an idea and brightens) Hey, I know what we'll do! We can go! Be my date! We'll, we'll have a great time! We'll dance, we'll go wild... Whadaya say?", "Willow: No.", "Xander: Good! What?", "Willow: There's no way.", "Xander: (exhales) Willow, come on!", "Willow: You think I wanna go to the dance with you and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks? You should know better.", "Xander: (exhales) I didn't think.", "Willow: I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I'll see you on Monday.", "(leaves)", "Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain.", "He throws the ball again and lets it bounce wild. Cut outside the school at night. Cut to the girls' locker room. Buffy shuts her gym locker. Two girls walk by chatting. Buffy plays with a stake as she heads to the sinks and puts it down on one. She looks at herself in the mirror and absently turns on the water. After looking in the mirror another moment she looks down and sees that blood is pouring from the faucet.", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes in.", "Buffy: (to herself) Giles, you are not gonna believe this. She stops when she hears Giles talking and looks into his office.", "Giles: It's clear. It's what's gonna happen. Uh, it's happening now! Angel moves into the light to read the Codex, and Buffy sees him.", "Buffy: Angel? She heads toward the office.", "Angel: It can't be. You've gotta be wrong.", "Giles: I've checked it against all my other volumes. It's very real. Buffy stops at the door.", "Angel: Well, there's gotta be some way around it.", "Giles: Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.", "Angel: Then you're reading it wrong.", "Giles: I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die. Buffy is stunned. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' office.", "Angel: Well, have you verified the text? Buffy begins to laugh. Angel and Giles see her and exchange a look. She slowly starts to walk away from the office door. Angel comes out of the office after her. She stops by the table and faces them. Giles stands in his office doorway.", "Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One Slayer dies, next one's called! Wonder who she is. (to Giles) Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?", "Giles: Buffy, I...", "Buffy: They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? Tears are flowing freely from her eyes. Angel tries to hug her, but she puts up her hands and quickly steps away.", "Buffy: Don't touch me! (to Giles) Were you even gonna tell me?", "Giles: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I...", "Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit!", "Angel: It's not that simple.", "Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over!", "Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...", "Buffy: The signs? (throws a book at him) READ ME THE SIGNS! (throws another one) TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL", "YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP!", "Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.", "Angel: I know this is hard.", "Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!", "Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...", "Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!", "Giles: Buffy, if the Master rises...", "Buffy: (yanks the cross from her neck) I don't care! (calms down) I", "don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. Giles is at a loss. Buffy throws her cross down. Angel doesn't know what to say either. She walks out of the library without looking back.", "Cut to Willow's room. She's at her desk studying. She looks up at a picture of her and Xander and sighs. She picks up the phone and dials his number. Cut to Xander's room. \"I Fall to Pieces\", by Patsy Cline, is playing on the radio.", "Lyrics: I fall to pieces The phone rings. Xander lifts it off the hook, lets it drop back on the hook and then takes it off the hook completely.", "Lyrics: Each time I see you again", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's looking through a photo album. Jonatha Brooke's \"Inconsolable\" is playing on the radio. Her mother comes in.", "Lyrics: I never knew what enough was", "Joyce: Hi, honey. You alright?", "Lyrics: Until I'd had more than my share", "Buffy: Sure.", "Joyce: Probably just full from that bite of dinner you nearly had.", "Lyrics: I let the darkness in", "Joyce: Feel like telling me what's on your mind?", "Lyrics: And it was then I lost the dare", "Buffy: (turns to her mom) Mom, let's go away! (smiles)", "Joyce: What?", "Buffy: Anywhere, just for a while, all weekend!", "Joyce: Honey, I...", "Buffy: No, it'll be great! You and me, a mother-daughter thing... We can talk about all the embarrassing things you love to bring up.", "Joyce: You know the gallery's open on weekends.", "Buffy: Mom, please!", "Joyce: Isn't the Prom tomorrow night? Or Spring Fling, whatever they're calling it?", "Buffy: I-I guess.", "Joyce: Nobody asked you?", "Buffy: Oh, someone...", "Joyce: But not the right someone. See, sometimes I actually do know what you're thinking. (goes over to Buffy's closet) Well, then, uh, this probably isn't the best time for this, but, uh... She opens the closet to reveal a beautiful white sleeveless gown.", "Joyce: I saw you eyeing it at the store. I figured...", "Buffy: (gets up) Mom, we can't afford this.", "Joyce: The way you've been eating, we can afford it.", "Buffy: (comes over to look at it) It's beautiful.", "Joyce: I think you should wear it. To the dance.", "Buffy: No, I-I can't go to the dance.", "Joyce: Says who? Is it written somewhere? You should do what you want. Homecoming, my freshman year of college. I didn't have a date, so I got dressed up and I went anyway.", "Buffy: Was it awful?", "Joyce: It was awful. For about an hour.", "Buffy: Then what happened?", "Joyce: (smiles) I met your father.", "Buffy: He didn't have a date either?", "Joyce: He did. And that's a much funnier story that you will *not* get to hear. Oh, but it was a beautiful night! (exhales)", "Buffy: And you had your whole life ahead of you.", "Joyce: Yeah.", "Buffy: Must be nice.", "Cut to the school the next day. Cut inside to the halls. Cordelia and Willow are coming down the stairs.", "Cordelia: Oh, Kevin said that he'd bring everything to the Bronze last night. He promised! We'll never get everything ready in time.", "Willow: He probably forgot. It's not *that* big a deal.", "Cordelia: Uh, you don't understand. I'm not mad! He totally flaked on me. On me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute! Oh... Willow smiles. They reach the Audio-Visual room. They see Kevin and his friends through the windows.", "Cordelia: There they are! They're watching cartoons. That's so cu... That's not cute. That's annoying. I'm annoyed.", "Willow: Right. I'm furious.", "Cordelia: Men. I don't know why we put up with them.", "Willow: I hear ya.", "Cut to a view of the door from inside the room. Kevin is sitting on the floor leaning against it. The room is trashed and the boys are all dead.", "Cordelia: Obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy stare. She opens the door, and Kevin's body falls out into the hall. He has a vampire bite on his neck.", "Cordelia: (screams) Oh, my God! Kevin! (kneels by him) No! Willow looks up and slowly goes into the room. She sees the death and devastation.", "Cordelia: Kevin! There's a bloody handprint on the TV screen.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's wearing her new white prom gown, and is looking at herself in the mirror. Her mom comes rushing in.", "Joyce: Buffy?! There's something on the news. Willow.", "Cut to a view of the sunset.", "Willow: I've seen so much.", "Cut to her room. She's on the bed hugging her knees. She's been crying.", "Willow: I thought I could take anything. But, Buffy, this... this was different.", "Buffy: It'll be alright.", "Willow: I'm trying to think how to say it... to explain it so you understand.", "Buffy: It doesn't matter as long as you're okay.", "Willow: I'm not okay. I knew those guys. I go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun. (a tear rolls down her cheek) What are we gonna do?", "Buffy: What we have to. (gets up and exhales) Promise me you'll stay in tonight, okay? Willow nods. Buffy starts to go.", "Willow: Buffy? Buffy stops and turns back.", "Willow: (smiles through her tears) I like your dress. Buffy looks down at it and smiles weakly, then looks back up.", "Buffy: Take care. (leaves) Willow looks down sadly and stays on her bed.", "Cut to the Master's lair. He tests his confines as Collin watches.", "Master: Soon. He sends Collin on his way to get Buffy. Collin climbs up to the exit.", "Master: Soon!", "Cut to the library. Giles is getting weapons out of the cage and prepares them.", "Ms. Calendar: Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth. But he got stuck in it, and now all the signs are reading that he's gonna get out, which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world.", "Giles: Yes. That about sums it up, yes.", "Ms. Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.", "Giles: You know how to get in touch with this, uh, brother Luca chap?", "Ms. Calendar: Hmm. As far as I can tell, no one can. He's disappeared. Did send out one last global though. A short one.", "Giles: What did it say?", "Ms. Calendar: Isaiah 11:6, which I dutifully looked up.", "Giles: 'The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf, the lion and the fatling together, and the little child to lead them.'", "Ms. Calendar: That's kinda warm and fuzzy for a message of doom.", "Giles: Well, that depends where he's leading them to. Aurelius wrote of the Anointed One, 'The Slayer will not know him, and he will lead her into Hell.'", "Ms. Calendar: So Luca thinks the Anointed is a kid.", "Giles: If the vampire that Buffy killed was in fact not the Anointed, then it may well be.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, then we need to warn her.", "Giles: I don't intend involving her at all.", "Ms. Calendar: What do you mean?", "Giles: Buffy's not gonna face the Master. I am.", "Buffy: No, you're not. Giles and Ms. Calendar look over and see her approaching.", "Buffy: So, I'm looking for a kid, huh? And he'll lead me to the Master?", "Giles: Buffy, I'm not gonna send you out there to die. Now, you were right. I-I've waded around in these old books for so long, I've forgotten what the real world is like. I-it's time I found out.", "Buffy: You're still not going up against the Master.", "Giles: I've made up my mind.", "Buffy: So have I.", "Giles: I made up my mine first! I'm older and wiser than you, and just... just do what you're told for once! Alright?", "Buffy: That's not how it goes. I'm the Slayer.", "Giles: I don't care what the books say. I defy prophecy, and I am going. There's nothing you can say will change my mind.", "Buffy: I know. She pretends to turn to go, but then throws a hard punch to his face, knocking him out. He falls backward to the floor. Ms. Calendar scrambles to his aid. Buffy sees her cross on the table and puts it back on. Ms. Calendar lifts Giles' head in her hands and gets under it with her knees. She looks up at Buffy.", "Buffy: When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it.", "Ms. Calendar: You fight the Master, and you'll die.", "Buffy: Maybe. (picks up the crossbow) Maybe I'll take him with me. She leaves the library. Ms. Calendar turns her attention to Giles. Cut outside the school. Buffy walks a short distance, looking all around, when she comes upon Collin.", "Collin: Help me... She lowers the crossbow and walks over to him.", "Buffy: It's okay. I know who you are. Collin holds out his hand. She takes it, and he starts to lead her away to the Master.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow and Xander are there, and have found out that Buffy has gone to fight the Master.", "Xander: She what?", "Willow: I told you there was something going on with her.", "Xander: And she knew about this prophecy of yours? (Giles nods) Aw, man, what do we do?", "Giles: We stay calm, first thing.", "Xander: Calm?", "Willow: I think he's right.", "Xander: I'm sorry, calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, (indicates Giles) but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.", "Willow: Xander...", "Xander: How could you let her go?", "Giles: As the soon-to-be-purple area of my jaw will attest, I did *not* *let* her go!", "Willow: Well, how can we help her?", "Ms. Calendar: Uh, I'm sorry to bring this up, but we also have an apocalypse to worry about?", "Xander: Do you mind?", "Willow: How come she's in the club?", "Ms. Calendar: Hey! Once the Master gets free, the Hellmouth opens, the demons come to party, and everybody dies.", "Xander: Uh, uh, I don't care. I'm sorry, I don't. Right now I gotta help Buffy.", "Giles: We don't even know where she's gone.", "Xander: No. But I can find out.", "Cut to the tunnels. Collin guides Buffy in. She has the crossbow up and ready. He leads her down some stairs and into a round side tunnel.", "Cut to Angel's apartment. There's knocking at the door and Angel comes to answer, wondering who it could be.", "Angel: Oh. Look who's here.", "Xander: Mind if I come in? (comes in)", "Angel: (closes the door) Make yourself at home.", "Xander: She's gone.", "Angel: Whadaya mean?", "Xander: Buffy, she's gone to fight the Master.", "Angel: He'll kill her.", "Xander: Rumor has it. Only we're not gonna let it happen.", "Angel: Well, what do you propose we do about it?", "Xander: Look, I know you can find this Master guy. He's underground, right? Take me to him.", "Angel: You're way outta your league, kid. The Master'll kill you before you can even breathe. If you're lucky.", "Xander: How can I say this clearly? He holds up a cross. Angel growls. Xander advances toward him, and he backs off until he falls onto the couch.", "Xander: I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. (lowers the cross) But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.", "Angel: You're in love with her.", "Xander: Aren't you?", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks with an armful of books.", "Giles: The Master is as old as any vampire on record. There's no telling how powerful he'll be if he reaches the surface.", "Ms. Calendar: Okay, here's my question: the Hellmouth opens.", "Giles: Yes.", "Ms. Calendar: Where? If he's underground, and it's right where he is, where's it gonna open?", "Giles: Good point. Uh, well, look, you have a look through the Black Chronicles... (hands her one of the books)", "Ms. Calendar: Okay.", "Giles: Uh, Willow? Willow?", "Willow: Huh?", "Giles: (sits down at the table) Could you look through the local histories, please. Check for any common denominators, uh, locations of incidences and such.", "Willow: Right, okay.", "Cut to the entrance of the Master's lair. Collin stops, and Buffy looks at him. He points down below, inviting her to enter, and leaves the way they came. Buffy watches him go. Then she turns and makes her way down to the floor below. She looks around. There are hundreds of candles burning everywhere.", "Master: Welcome. The Master's voice seems to be coming from all directions.", "Buffy: Thanks for having me. The Master steps into the light to look at her.", "Buffy: Y'know, you really oughtta talk to your contractor. Looks like you got some water damage.", "Master: Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight. Why don't we just cut to the... Buffy spins around and launches a bolt in the direction of his voice. With his lightning reflexes the Master catches it in mid-flight right in front of him at chest level. Buffy quickly reloads the bow.", "Master: Nice shot.", "Cut to the tunnels. Xander and Angel reach an intersection and stop. Angel looks in both directions, trying to remember the way. He remembers and walks past Xander.", "Angel: (quietly) This way. (looks at Xander) What?", "Xander: You were looking at my neck.", "Angel: What?", "Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that! (starts following)", "Angel: No, I wasn't!", "Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.", "Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck!", "Xander: I told you to eat before we left.", "Cut to the Master's lair.", "Master: You're not going to kill me with that thing.", "Buffy: Don't be so sure.", "Master: You still don't understand your part in all this, do you? You are not the hunter. You are the lamb.", "Cut to the library. Giles and Ms. Calendar are at the table studying their volumes.", "Giles: Well, let's think about this, then. The vampires have been gathering, they know he's coming, they will be his army.", "Ms. Calendar: Do you think they'll gather at the Hellmouth?", "Willow: Well, the last time the Master tried to rise was the Harvest. He sent a bunch of vampires to get him fresh blood.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, where did that go down?", "Giles: The Bronze.", "Willow: The Prom!", "Giles: We have to warn them.", "Ms. Calendar: (stops Giles) No! We'll go. You have to concentrate on demon killing. My car's in the lot. Willow and Ms. Calendar start out of the library.", "Giles: Stay close together, and for goodness' sake, be careful!", "Willow: We will.", "Cut to the Master's lair. Buffy is slowly walking around, searching for the Master. She comes upon a dead and rotted body. She continues her search.", "Buffy: You know, for someone who's all powerful, you sure do like to hide.", "Master: I'm waiting for you. I want this moment to last.", "Buffy: Well, I don't. She searches for a few moments longer, then the Master suddenly comes to stand right behind her.", "Master: I understand. She turns around and the Master knocks the crossbow out of her hands. He grabs her by the neck.", "Cut to the school parking lot. Ms. Calendar digs in her bag for her keys as she and Willow head for her car.", "Willow: What if they get to the Bronze before we do? (looks behind them)", "Ms. Calendar: (looks up and stops) Don't need to worry about that!", "Willow: (catches up) Why not?", "Ms. Calendar: 'Cause they're not goin' to the Bronze. They look out onto the field and see a hoard of vampires approaching. They look across the parking lot and see more of them. They turn to go back and see even more of them blocking their way. They're surrounded.", "Cut to the Master's lair. He has his hand around Buffy's throat. She swings up with her arm, knocks his hand away and starts to run. He holds his hand out toward her and she freezes, caught by his hypnotic powers. She looks back at him and can't move. He approaches her, making slow twisting motions with his hand. He comes up behind her, gently takes off her leather jacket and lets it fall to the ground. Buffy is panting hard with fear.", "Master: You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. (whispers) You're the one that sets me free! (gloats) If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. (whispers) Think about that! Buffy is frozen with fear. The Master waits a moment longer and then bends down and bites her at the base of her neck. He drinks a few sips and lets her go.", "Master: Oh, God! The power! Buffy falls to her knees.", "Master: And by the way... She falls face down into the pool of water.", "Master: I like your dress. He steps over to the edge of his confines and pushes against the field. He forces his hand through, and his confines break down in a burst of light and energy. He starts up and out of his lair.", "Cut to the tunnels. Angel and Xander see the light coming out of an adjoining tunnel.", "Xander: What was that?", "Angel: It's too late. He's gone up. They break into a run for the Master's lair. Angel gets there first, looks around and spots Buffy. He scrambles down to the floor and rushes to her as Xander reaches the lair's entrance. Xander stops and stares at Buffy in the pool. Angel reaches her and quickly pulls her out of the water. He holds her and tries to listen for breathing. Nothing. He looks up at Xander.", "Angel: She's dead! Xander looks down at them and swallows hard. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Master's lair. Xander comes down to Angel and Buffy.", "Xander: No. She's not dead.", "Angel: She's not breathing.", "Xander: But if she drowned, uh, there's a shot! CPR!", "Angel: You have to do it. I have no breath. Xander takes off his jacket and lays it over her. He kneels down by her face and looks at her a moment, then puts his mouth on hers and blows into her lungs. He lets go and begins to pump her chest.", "Xander: C'mon. C'mon!", "Cut to the school parking lot. The vampires are advancing on Willow and Ms. Calendar.", "Ms. Calendar: Why are they coming here?", "Willow: Not caring! They hear a car screech to a stop behind them.", "Cordelia: Get in!", "Cut to the Master's lair. Xander breathes into her lungs again and continues to pump her chest.", "Xander: C'mon! Breathe! Breathe! Angel looks down in sorrow, then looks back up. Xander keeps pumping.", "Xander: C'mon! After another moment Xander stops pumping. Angel believes her lost. A second later Buffy opens her eyes wide and draws a breath. She lies still for a moment as she looks around with her eyes.", "Xander: Buffy! She turns her head to the side and coughs out a bunch of water. Xander and Angel look at each other and smile. Xander puts his hand on Buffy's forehead and strokes it gently. She looks up at him, surprised to see him.", "Xander: Buffy.", "Buffy: Xander?", "Xander: Welcome back.", "Cut to the school parking lot. Ms. Calendar and Willow run into the car.", "Cordelia: I was sitting where Kevin and I used to park, and all of a sudden these things are coming at me! They all scream as a vampire jumps on top of the car.", "Ms. Calendar: What do we do now?", "Willow: We've gotta get to the library!", "Cordelia: Library! Great! She burns rubber and makes a fast U-turn, throwing the vampire off of the roof of her car, and heads toward the school building. The car's engine races as Cordelia guns it toward the doors.", "Willow: Of course, we generally walk there. They crash through the doors and into the hall. Cut to the library. Giles hears the noise.", "Giles: What the...", "Cut to the halls. The car comes crashing through another set of doors and skids to a stop in front of the library. Cut inside. Giles gets up from the table. Cut to the hall. Vampires are running into the hall as the girls get out of the car, screaming as they run into the library. They push the doors closed just as the vampires get there. Cut inside. They lean against the door.", "Giles: What's happening?", "Ms. Calendar: Guess! A vampire punches through the small round window in one of the doors and grabs at them. Giles grabs a bookcase and carries it over to the door. Willow grabs a sign and starts hitting the vampire's arm with it. Giles gets the bookcase in place. He grabs the copier and pulls it over, too.", "Giles: Why are they coming here?!", "Cut to a shot of them from the back of the library. A green tentacle is worming its way up through the cracks in the floor.", "Cut to the roof of the library. The Master opens the roof access door and walks out. He looks at the view around him of the town at night and smiles. He exhales, walks to the edge of the roof and holds his arms out as he surveys the scene.", "Master: My world! Oh, my beautiful world!", "Cut to the Master's lair. Xander and Angel help Buffy up.", "Xander: Easy. Easy.", "Buffy: (standing now) The Master?", "Angel: He's gone up. Buffy starts to go.", "Xander: No. You're still weak.", "Buffy: (stops) No. No, I feel strong. I feel different. (looks back at them) Let's go!", "Cut to the library. They pile more things in front of the door. Giles looks at the back of the library and sees vampires trying to get in.", "Giles: (points) They're coming in through the stacks!", "Ms. Calendar: (to Willow) C'mon! She and Willow run to the back of the library.", "Ms. Calendar: The bookshelves! They lift a bookcase against the French doors that lead to the stacks and lean against it.", "Giles: My office... He goes to secure his office, leaving Cordelia alone at the main doors. The tentacle inches toward Willow's leg. Another vampire punches through the other library door window and grabs Cordelia's arm. She screams.", "Cordelia: Somebody help! Cut outside. Buffy marches determinedly toward the school with Xander and Angel close behind.", "Xander: So, how do you know where the Master's going?", "Buffy: I know. A vampire tries to block their way into the school.", "Buffy: Oh, look, a bad guy. She punches him on her way by, and he falls flat on his back. Cut inside to the stairs leading to the roof. Buffy comes around the corner in the hall.", "Buffy: Okay, you two wait here, keep the rest of the vampires off me.", "Xander: Right.", "Buffy: Angel, better put on your game face.", "Angel: (vamped out) I'm ready.", "Buffy: One way or another, this won't take long. She looks at them both once more and then heads up to the roof.", "Cut to the library. Cordelia hits the vampire's hand and then bites it. The vampire screams and lets go.", "Cordelia: See how *you* like it!", "Cut to the back.", "Willow: This won't keep 'em out for long! She looks down and sees the tentacle wrap itself around her ankle and screams loudly. Ms. Calendar grabs hold of her.", "Ms. Calendar: GILES! GILES! Giles comes running out of his office in time to see a huge, green, multi-headed and tentacled demon burst through the floor.", "Giles: The Hellmouth! Cordelia can't believe what she's seeing. The creature has three heads and reaches all the way to the ceiling.", "Cut to the roof. The Master looks in through the skylight and claps his hands idly.", "Master: Yes. Come forth, my child. Come into my world.", "Buffy: I don't think it's yours just yet. The Master turns his head and stares at her in surprise.", "Master: You're dead!", "Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.", "Master: You were destined to die! It was written!", "Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written. The Master growls and reaches his arm out to try his hypnosis on her again.", "Master: Come here! Cut inside the library. Willow screams as the Hellmouth creature tries to drag her away from Ms. Calendar.", "Ms. Calendar: GIIILES! Giles grabs an ax from the table and rushes up the stairs to their aid.", "Ms. Calendar: GILES! He swings it into one of the heads, and the creature roars in agony as the women continue to scream.", "Cut to the roof. Buffy slowly approaches the Master, apparently hypnotized. He grabs her by the throat again.", "Master: Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below? (lets go of her neck)", "Buffy: (looks at him curiously) You have fruit punch mouth.", "Master: What? She swings a wide hard punch to his mouth, and he falls down.", "Buffy: Save the hypnosis crap for the tourists. As he gets up she does a swinging roundhouse kick that connects squarely with his face. He swipes at her and she jerks back, but he manages to slice her with his fingernails across her upper right chest, drawing blood. She punches him in the kidney. He punches her in the jaw. She tries to punch him again, but he blocks her and punches her in the face, sending her flying backward into the wall behind her. Cut inside. Giles swings again with the ax and hits the creature. He tries again, but this time it knocks him off of the mezzanine and onto the large table below. It breaks when Giles hits it, and one side falls over onto its end, leaving a huge spike pointing upward.", "Cut to the bottom of the stairs. Two vampires attack Angel and Xander. Angel starts to fight the one while the other jumps on Xander's back. He holds his cross up to her and she jumps off. Angel stakes the one he's fighting and Xander punches out the other.", "Cut to the library. One of the creature's heads hovers above Giles. Another one faces Willow and laughs.", "Cut to the roof. The Master is ready to continue fighting. Buffy launches herself into a front tuck over his head and lands between him and the skylight. She kicks him in the side with a side snap kick, but he quickly turns around and grabs her by the neck again.", "Master: Where are your jibes now? She looks behind her and sees the upended table through the skylight.", "Master: You laugh when my Hell is on Earth?", "Buffy: You're that amped about Hell... (grabs him by the neck) Go there! She lifts him up and flips him over herself and through the skylight. He falls down and is impaled on the table. He slowly turns to ash until only his skeleton is left. Buffy watches from above. Giles gets up. The Hellmouth creature quickly disappears back into the floor. The vampires are all gone.", "Cut to the main library doors. Cordelia pushes the last of the junk away from them and pulls the door open for Buffy, Angel and Xander. They all walk over to the Master.", "Giles: The vampires?", "Cordelia: Gone.", "Angel: The Master?", "Giles: Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy... Buffy?", "Buffy: Oh, sorry. It's just been a really weird day. (smiles)", "Xander: Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!", "Willow: Wow! Harsh.", "Giles: I should have known that wouldn't stop you. Buffy smiles up at him again.", "Ms. Calendar: Well, what do we do now?", "Giles: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore.", "Xander: Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.", "Cordelia: Yeah!", "Willow: Buffy?", "Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! (looks down at her dress) I mean, I got all pretty.", "Ms. Calendar: And what about him? (indicates the Master)", "Buffy: (looks at the Master) He's not going anywhere. Loser. They all start to go and chatter. Buffy trails the group.", "Giles: (to Ms. Calendar) I'm not dancing, though.", "Ms. Calendar: We'll see.", "Willow: (to Angel) You can come with us, Angel.", "Buffy: I'm hungry.", "Xander: So what's the story with the car?", "Cordelia: Oh, that was me, saving the day!", "Willow: (to Angel) Get something to drink.", "Buffy: Is anybody else hungry?", "Willow: (to Angel) Well, no, don't do that. Just hang.", "Buffy: I'm really, really hungry. Angel hangs back with Buffy.", "Angel: By the way, I really like your dress.", "Buffy: Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone. The camera pans back and up for a shot of the Master's skeleton from above." ]

[ "Buffy suffers a vision in which the Master , undead, kills her once again. The Anointed One plans to resurrect the slain Master in a ritual using his exhumed skeleton, with kidnapped Scooby Gang members as blood sacrifices. Buffy rescues her friends, then deals with her residual fear and anger by obliterating the Master entirely." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery. The camera pans across it and over to the sidewalk along the border. Willow and Xander are on their way home. Xander has an ice cream cone and takes an occasional lick.", "Willow: Okay, um...", "Xander: It's your turn.", "Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth.'", "Xander: Terminator.", "Willow: Good! Great.", "Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a madhouse! A mad...'", "Willow: (interrupts) Planet of the Apes.", "Xander: Can I finish, please?", "Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead.", "Xander: '...house!' (indicates she may answer)", "Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh...", "Xander: Well?", "Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'", "Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?", "Willow: I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway.", "Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up.", "Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain...", "Xander: (interrupts) Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the most boring summer ever.", "Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff. She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it.", "Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school startin' up again.", "Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl we both know who is a Vampire Slayer?", "Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be gettin' back? About which I do not care.", "Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she went to L.A., but then, like, nothing.", "Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time.", "Willow: And you don't care?", "Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs...", "Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know.", "Xander: I got a movie for ya! (taps her nose with his ice cream)", "Willow: (surprised) Xander!", "Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!", "Willow: Witness. (pouty) My nose is cold.", "Xander: Let me get that for ya. (leans in to lick off her nose)", "Willow: Xander! (stops him)", "Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty. He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to pull back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.", "Xander: Willow, go! He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but watches as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He grabs Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from being bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by the shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches the vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his back. She turns to Willow and Xander.", "Buffy: Hi, guys! The vampire gets up. Buffy turns her attention back to him and kicks him in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, where he gets impaled on a dead branch and bursts into ashes. She turns back to Willow and Xander.", "Buffy: Miss me? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ On the sidewalk.", "Willow: Buffy!", "Xander: Hey! (hugs her)", "Buffy: Hey. Hey, Will! (hugs her)", "Xander: (hugs Buffy again) Man, your timing really doesn't suck.", "(laughs)", "Willow: When'd you get back?", "Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers would be getting into some kind of trouble.", "Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way.", "Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy.", "Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire we've seen since you killed the Master.", "Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back.", "They start to walk.", "Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?", "Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major theme.", "Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire...", "Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I?", "Xander: (notices) I like your hair.", "Buffy: (giggles) So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun without me?", "Xander: No.", "Willow: Yes!", "Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was burying the Master. They stop walking.", "Willow: That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree. (Buffy looks) Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got to wear robes.", "Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been.", "Willow: Have you seen Giles?", "Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school.", "Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back.", "Buffy: (looks at the tree again) Me, too.", "Cut to Buffy's room. Her dad is helping her mom unpack her things. Joyce opens a suitcase and looks through it.", "Hank: Okay, then. This is the last of it. (puts another suitcase on the bed)", "Joyce: More clothes?", "Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes?", "Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do?", "Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school clothing nightmare. (unzips the suitcase)", "Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.?", "Hank: She did, yeah. She was, um... you know, great.", "Joyce: But?", "Hank: She was just, I don't know, um... distant. Not brooding or sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen.", "Joyce: Hence the shoes?", "Hank: (hands her the shoes) I may have overcompensated a little bit.", "Joyce: Hmm.", "Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff down I knew what to say.", "Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school year.", "Cut to Sunnydale High.", "Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare.", "Cut to her and two friends coming down some stairs and walking across the quad.", "Cordelia: I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. (exhales) Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character?", "Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me.", "Giles: Yes.", "Cut to the two of them walking along the colonnade.", "Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist. They stop. Snyder looks around, observing the students.", "Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation?", "Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. (takes two steps away from Giles) Every time a pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool. Giles spots Jenny coming towards them.", "Giles: Ms. Calendar!", "Jenny: Mr. Giles!", "Giles: Well, I, uh, um... Hello!", "Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony.", "Jenny: It's good to see you.", "Giles: Yes.", "Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning?", "Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room?", "Jenny: Sounds like fun! They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind.", "Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life. Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to myself. Cut inside to the halls. They walk through the student lounge.", "Giles: How was your summer?", "Jenny: Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock, ohhh, such a great festival, you should've been there. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances, you would've just... hated it with a fiery passion!", "Giles: I can't imagine finding any redeeming, uh... (stops at the base of the stairs) Naked?", "Jenny: Hmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book.", "Giles: Yes. I suppose you'd consider that frightfully dull.", "Jenny: Depends on the book. (smiles) Willow and Xander come down the stairs. Buffy is not far behind them.", "Willow: Giles!", "Xander: Yo! G-man! What's up?", "Giles: Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that.", "Jenny: Hi, kids.", "Willow: Hi! Buffy arrives now, too.", "Giles: (to Buffy) How are you?", "Buffy: Live and kicking.", "Willow: Buffy killed a vampire last night. They all look around to see if anyone overheard.", "Buffy: Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphragm.", "Willow: Sorry.", "Jenny: (quietly) We've got vampires? I thought the Hellmouth was closed.", "Giles: Well, it's, it's closed, but not gone. The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area.", "Xander: Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town.", "Giles: I wonder if they're here for any purpose, particularly.", "Buffy: You're the Watcher. I just work here.", "Giles: Yes, I-I must consult my books.", "Xander: Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. (Willow hands him a dollar) I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. (to Willow) Thanks. The bell rings.", "Willow: We better get to class. They all start making their way to their classes.", "Giles: Oh, uh, Buffy! (she looks back) Uh, I realize you've only just returned, but when you're ready I-I think we should start your training again.", "Buffy: I'm ready. I'll see you after school. (starts to go again)", "Giles: Well, I-I-I understand if, if you want a few days to...", "Buffy: I'm ready. (leaves)", "Cut to the library after school. Buffy does tumbling and kicking exercises that take her all around the library. Then they continue training with the quarterstaff. Buffy swings it at Giles' hand pads. He retreats as she hits. He ducks a swing but she continues around with the quarterstaff and knocks him back into the chairs by the table. Next she practices her punches on the wooden punching dummy. She has a flash of the Master and begins to go crazy on it, throwing continuous rapid punches.", "Giles: Buffy, that's enough. She keeps whaling on the dummy.", "Giles: Buffy! She kicks it, and it breaks.", "Giles: Uh, safe to say you've stayed in shape.", "Buffy: (breathing hard) I'm ready. Whatever they've got coming next, I'm ready. (bunches her hair above her head) Yeah.", "Cut to an old brick warehouse. Cut inside.", "Absalom: We have been put down, kinsmen. We have lost our way. We have lost the night. But despair is for the living. Where they are weak, we will be strong. Where they weep, we rejoice. Where they bleed, (laughs) we drink! Within three days a New Hope will arise. We will put our faith in him. (looks over at Collin) He will show us the way. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The student lounge. Buffy is upstairs on a couch, off in her own world. Willow and Xander come up the stairs to her.", "Xander: Buffy! (no response) Buffy!", "Buffy: (back on earth) Fine! I'm fine.", "Xander: Good! It's good that you're fine. Willow sits on the couch opposite Buffy. Xander steps past Buffy and sits on the couch next to her.", "Willow: What were you thinking about? (gets out an apple)", "Buffy: Nothing.", "Xander: Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends! The friends of your bosom! He gets a power bar out of his bag.", "Willow: Xander. Xander winces at his power bar. Willow frowns at her apple. They toss them to each other over the table.", "Buffy: I wasn't thinking anything, really.", "Willow: What'd you do last night?", "Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams.", "Xander: Dreams are meaningful.", "Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it.", "Buffy: I bet she doesn't.", "Giles: (finds them) Buffy!", "Buffy: Giles! (gets up) What is it? You look worried.", "Giles: This vampire activity, I think I know what they're up to.", "Buffy: Well, we'll deal with it.", "Giles: I hope it's that simple.", "Buffy: It is not to worry. Trust me.", "Giles: Oh, I don't know. I mean, (chuckles) I've killed you once, it shouldn't be too difficult to do it again.", "Buffy: What? Giles takes a hard backhand swing at her face, knocking her down onto the table between the two couches. He gets on top of her and begins to choke her. Xander and Willow just sit on the couches and chew away at their food. Willow smiles at Xander. Buffy reaches up to Giles' face and tries to push him off. She claws at him, and suddenly pulls off a mask, revealing the Master underneath. Buffy stares up at him in wide-eyed terror.", "Cut to Buffy's bedroom. She wakes from her nightmare with a start. She looks around and over at her open window. She sits up and rubs her face. When she looks back at her window again Angel is there, leaning against the sill.", "Buffy: Hello.", "Angel: Mind if I come in?", "Buffy: Be my guest.", "Angel: How are you?", "Buffy: Peachy. So, is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or, well, it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour?", "Angel: It's not a social call.", "Buffy: Ah. So, lemme guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home.", "Angel: I'm sorry. I wish I had better news.", "Buffy: So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu!", "Angel: The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why.", "Buffy: Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh?", "Angel: You don't sound too concerned.", "Buffy: I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway.", "Angel: Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him.", "Buffy: Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream. She turns away from him and lies back down.", "Angel: Sorry. I'll go. (turns around to go, but pauses) I missed you.", "Buffy: (turns to the window) I missed you? Angel is already gone. \"It Doesn't Matter\", by Alison Krauss, plays in the background.", "Lyrics: It doesn't matter what I want / It doesn't matter what I need", "Cut to Joyce's Jeep the next morning on the way to school.", "Lyrics: It doesn't matter if I cry", "Joyce: How are your new classes?", "Buffy: Good.", "Lyrics: Don't matter if I bleed", "Joyce: Good. Is there the slightest chance that if I asked you what was wrong you would tell me?", "Lyrics: You've been on a road Buffy looks over at her mother.", "Joyce: Course not. It would take all the fun out of guessing.", "Lyrics: Don't know where it goes or where it leads", "Cut to the halls at Buffy's locker.", "Willow: Angel stopped by? Wow. Was there... Well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing?", "Buffy: Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing.", "Xander: (to Willow) Yeah. Some stuff's about groping. (to Buffy) It wasn't about groping?", "Buffy: Okay, hormones on parade here? It was pure shoptalk. Remember vampires, pointy teeth, they walk by night, am I ringing a bell?", "Willow: What did he say?", "Buffy: Oh, something's up. (closes her locker) Nothing I can't handle. They begin to walk down the hall to class.", "Xander: Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight?", "Willow: Cibo Matto? They're playing?", "Xander: No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing.", "Willow: Cibo Matto can clog dance? (gets a look from Xander) Oh, sarcasm, right.", "Xander: We should attend, no? Cordelia comes out of class and engages them in the hall.", "Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers. They look at each other, not sure what to make of that.", "Buffy: (to Xander) Was that an insult?", "Xander: Kinda lacked punch.", "Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool.", "Cordelia: I see your point.", "Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges.", "Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?", "Willow: Uh, yes! Our own personal demons.", "Xander: Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift!", "Buffy: I would have to go with Stooges also.", "Cordelia: What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember? Prom night? With all the vampires.", "Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.", "Xander: No. (takes Cordelia aside) It's, see, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people, Buffy being the Slayer and all.", "Willow: You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you?", "Cordelia: Are you nuts? Do you think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy? And all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. (to Buffy) So your secret's safe with me.", "Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron. (leaves)", "Xander: Now, that was a good insult.", "Willow: A little too good.", "Cordelia: What's up with her?", "Cut to the Bronze that night. People are gathering and going in. Cut inside. Cibo Matto is on stage playing \"Spoon\".", "Lyrics: Don't, don't want the boys", "Cut to Willow and Xander sitting at a table. She has a cup of ice cream.", "Willow: I just think something's up is all.", "Lyrics: Don't, don't note the heat", "Xander: Willow, you're paranoid.", "Willow: Buffy's never acted like this before. Ever since she got back she's... different.", "Lyrics: Can't find a spoon...", "Xander: Buffy's always been different.", "Willow: She's never been mean.", "Lyrics: ...that we have had", "Xander: (exhales) Any sign of her? She said she was coming.", "Lyrics: The sugar cubes...", "Willow: No. The band's cool, though.", "Xander: Yeah, cool.", "Lyrics: ...can melt our mouth / We belong, yes, to-to-together Willow dips her nose into her ice cream and smiles, trying to get Xander's attention.", "Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together / We belong, yes, to-to-together", "Xander: (looks at her) You got somethin' on your nose.", "Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together / We belong, yes, to-to-together The smile disappears from Willow's face, and she wipes the ice cream off with her napkin.", "Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together", "Cut to the cemetery. Dissolve to the tree where the Master is buried. Four crosses mark his grave. A shovel stabs into the dirt and starts to dig. Another one joins in. The camera pans around to Absalom, Collin and two others watching the first two vampires dig.", "Absalom: (to the other two) Don't just stand there. Dig! We have to hurry. The other two get on their knees and begin to dig. The ground burns their hands.", "Vampire: The ground is consecrated! It burns!", "Collin: Dig. The two vampires continue digging by hand. The grave is shallow, and they soon unearth the Master's skull.", "Cut to the Bronze. The band starts their next number, \"Sugar Water\".", "Lyrics: The velocity of time... turns her voice into... sugar water Buffy walks into the Bronze. Angel sees her come in and goes over to her.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Angel: Hi.", "Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?", "Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like.", "Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from.", "Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us?", "Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living. She heads over to Willow and Xander's table. Cordelia watches her go by, and wonders about her attitude.", "Lyrics: I'm on a concrete way / The wind is blowing...", "Buffy: Hey!", "Willow: Hi.", "Xander: Hey.", "Lyrics: ...to the north-northwest", "Willow: What's wrong with Angel?", "Buffy: Beats me.", "Lyrics: It smells like sands of the southern island", "Buffy: (to Xander) Let's dance. (pulls at his shirt)", "Xander: Ooo-kay. (is pulled by his shirt to the dance floor)", "Lyrics: When a black cat crosses my path Buffy and Xander begin to slow dance. Her movements are very sensual.", "Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth / A woman in the moon is singing to the earth / La la la, la la la la la la / La la la, la la la la la la Buffy turns around and spoons in against Xander, pulling his arms around her waist. She grinds her hips and shoulders against him.", "Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la / La la la, la la la la la la She reaches up with her hand and strokes his face. Angel looks on jealously. Willow watches in disbelief. Buffy continues her grinding.", "Lyrics: I'm riding on a camel that has big eyes / The buildings are changing into coconut trees / Little by little Buffy turns to Xander and tilts her head up to his, close enough to kiss.", "Buffy: Xander? Did I ever thank you... for saving my life?", "Lyrics: When a black cat...", "Xander: No.", "Lyrics: ...crosses my path Buffy slowly slithers around him, making sure not to lose contact with his body.", "Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth", "Buffy: Don't you wish I would? She breaks off, leaving him standing there. Xander isn't sure what to make of it all, but he knows he doesn't like it.", "Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth Buffy goes back to their table and retrieves her jacket.", "Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la She walks past Cordelia as she makes her way out of the Bronze. Angel follows her with his stare.", "Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la Xander is still standing on the dance floor, upset and unsure how to react. Cut outside. Buffy exits the Bronze and walks down the alley at a quick pace. Cordelia follows her out.", "Cordelia: Buffy. (Buffy stops) You're really campaigning for bitch-of- the-year, aren't you?", "Buffy: (turns to face her) As defending champion, you nervous?", "Cordelia: I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna... do you a favor.", "Buffy: And this great favor is...", "Cordelia: I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it.", "Buffy: Excuse me?", "Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now.", "Buffy: I think it's about time you start minding your own business.", "Cordelia: It's long past.", "Buffy: (turns and goes) Nighty-night. (flips up her hood)", "Cordelia: I'll just see if Angel feels like dancing. She is suddenly grabbed by two vampires coming out of the shadows and dragged into an adjacent building.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ A basement. The two vampires force Cordelia down the stairs. At the bottom they shove her into the room. She's frightened and looks around. She takes a step sideways and bumps into a hand. She looks down and sees that it's Jenny. She crouches down to see if she's okay, but Jenny is unconscious.", "Cordelia: Ms., Ms. Calendar? Oh, God, Ms. Calendar?", "Cut to the cemetery. Buffy is going to check out the Master's grave. When she gets there she finds it dug open and his bones exhumed. She steps back slowly, and thinks she sees the Master out of the corner of her eye. She quickly turns to look, but no one's there.", "Willow: She's possessed!", "Cut to the student lounge. Giles is getting a soda from the vending machine.", "Giles: Possessed?", "Willow: That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy.", "Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? (gets looks from the others and concedes) She's possessed.", "Giles: Possessed by what?", "Willow: Aaaaa possessing thing!", "Giles: (sarcastically) Well, that narrows it down. He takes a sip of his soda and winces at its sweetness.", "Xander: Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened.", "Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?", "Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.", "Xander: A bitca?", "Giles: (not surprised by Xander's misunderstanding) Yes. I suggest that, uh, the explanation for her behavior may be something more, more mundane. The bell rings and the students around them begin to leave for class.", "Giles: (sits) She may simply have what you Americans refer to as issues. Uh, her experience with the Master must have been extremely traumatic. Well, she was, for at least a few minutes, technically dead. (Buffy appears in the door) I-I don't think she's dealt with that on a conscious level. (Xander notices Buffy) She's convinced herself that she's invulnerable... for the very reason that she feels...", "Xander: (interrupts) That's a very interesting point about trout, you just brought up now. Buffy walks up to them.", "Giles: Trout? (notices Buffy) Trout! Yes, trout, i-is a fish. Good morning. Did you sleep well?", "Buffy: Like a rock. Master's gone.", "Giles: I'm sorry?", "Buffy: The Master. I went by his grave last night, and they have a vacancy.", "Giles: Good God!", "Willow: What would somebody want with Master bones?", "Xander: A trophy, a horrible conversation piece?", "Buffy: They're gonna bring him back. They're gonna bring the Master back to life, and I seem to recall you telling me he was history.", "Giles: Buffy, I-I-I've never heard of a-a revivification ritual being successful.", "Buffy: But you've heard of them? Thanks for the warning.", "Willow: Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and...", "Buffy: Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay? Could we have just a little less from the civilians, please?", "Xander: Okay, that's just about enough! Buffy shoots Xander a look.", "Snyder: (interrupts) I believe some of us have class? And some of us have jobs.", "Giles: Y-yes, well, I'll, uh, I'll see you all, uh, in the library later. We'll, we'll continue this discussion.", "Willow: About trout. The kids leave. Snyder watches them go.", "Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.", "Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.", "Snyder: That Summers girl. I smell trouble. I smell expulsion, and just the faintest aroma of jail.", "Giles: Well, before you throw away the key, you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may surprise you.", "Snyder: You really have faith in those kids, don't you?", "Giles: Yes, I do.", "Snyder: Weird.", "Cut to the library after school.", "Giles: Alright, alright, I-I-I've got something. It's Latin, so bear with me. Uh, to revive the vampire they need his bones, uh... w-which they have, and, um, the blood... this is very unclear, of the closest person... uh, someone connected to the vampire.", "Buffy: That'd be me.", "Giles: Perhaps.", "Buffy: We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness.", "Xander: Well, is there anything on when the ceremony might take... A rock comes crashing through a window.", "Xander: Whoa! Buffy catches the rock in her hands. It has a note wrapped around it and kept in place with a bracelet.", "Buffy: This is Cordelia's. (takes off the note) 'Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal.'", "Xander: They're gonna cook her dinner? (gets looks from everyone) I'll pretend I didn't say that.", "Willow: What do we do?", "Buffy: (exhales) I go to the Bronze and save the day. (starts to go)", "Xander: I don't like this.", "Giles: Nor I!", "Buffy: (turns back) Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going.", "Willow: What do you mean?", "Buffy: I can't do it anymore. I can't look after the three of you guys while I'm fighting.", "Willow: Well, what about the rest of the note?", "Buffy: What rest of the note?", "Willow: The part that says, 'P.S. This is a trap'?", "Giles: You'll be playing straight into their hands. (takes off his glasses)", "Buffy: I can handle this.", "Willow: Stop saying that! God, what's wrong with you?", "Xander: Cordelia may be dead.", "Buffy: This is my fight. She leaves and grabs her coat and bag on the way out. Willow just watches her go. Xander shakes his head. Giles puts his glasses back on.", "Cut to the alley outside the Bronze. Buffy senses Angel as she nears the entrance.", "Buffy: Y'know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls.", "Angel: (behind her) You need help. Someone to watch your back.", "Buffy: Sure you don't mean my neck?", "Angel: (comes around her) Why are you ridin' me?", "Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. (gets a look) Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?", "Angel: You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone.", "Buffy: I trust me.", "Angel: You're not as strong as you think.", "Buffy: (gives him a challenging look) You think you can take me?", "Angel: What?", "Buffy: Oh, c'mon! I mean, you must've thought about it. What would happen if it ever came down to a fight, you vampire, me the Slayer, I mean, you must've wondered! Well, why don't we find out?", "Angel: I'm not gonna fight you.", "Buffy: Come on! Kick my ass!", "Angel: Don't you have somewhere to be?", "Buffy: I do.", "Angel: Well, you're wasting time.", "Buffy: Just stay out of my way. (walks around him to the entrance)", "Angel: Happy to oblige. Cut inside. Buffy comes in and looks around as she slowly walks through an empty Bronze. She comes upon a girl crying in a corner. She stops. Angel appears behind her.", "Buffy: That's not Cordelia. The vampire laughs and turns around.", "Vampire: Cordelia couldn't make it.", "Buffy: Where is she?", "Vampire: I'm not supposed to tell.", "Angel: I don't like this.", "Buffy: Don't like what?", "Angel: There's the bait. Where's the hook? The vampire attacks, and Buffy flips her over onto her back on the floor and pins her down with her foot.", "Buffy: You're right. Why would they send just one?", "Cut to the library. Giles is continuing his research.", "Willow: I still think we should've gone with her.", "Xander: Buffy's about to lose it. I think we should be trying to reach minimum safe distance.", "Willow: Xander, you know it's a trap!", "Giles: Ah! Ah, ah, ah! Uh, uh, the Latin is, is translated from the Sumerian, a-a-and rather badly. Closest to the Master actually translates as 'nearest'. Physically. The, the, the person or persons who were with him... when he... (looks up) It is a trap. Several vampires appear on the mezzanine level above.", "Giles: It just isn't for her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Buffy binds the vampire's wrists", "Buffy: Watch her. Don't kill her unless you have to. (shoves her over to Angel)", "Angel: Buffy! What's goin' on?", "Buffy: I'll be back.", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes rushing in, and stops short when she sees that the place is a shambles. The camera pans through the room to the center table, which has been tipped over onto its side. Behind it Xander regains consciousness and gets up, using the table for support.", "Buffy: Xander! She rushes over to him to help, but he shakes her off.", "Buffy: What happened?", "Xander: (out of breath) Vampires. The ones you could handle yourself.", "Buffy: Where are the others?", "Xander: I don't know. (angry) I don't know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of now, I officially don't care. If you'd worked with us for five seconds, you coulda stopped this.", "Buffy: (turns away) We, we just have to think. Where would they have taken them?", "Xander: (vehemently) If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you. She turns back to him and looks at him seriously.", "Buffy: Why did they take them and not you?", "Xander: Giles said the ritual was, um... They needed people who were close to the Master. Physically close. When he, uh...", "Buffy: The ones who were with the Master when he died.", "Xander: Giles, Willow, Cordelia...", "Buffy: Ms. Calendar.", "Xander: Odds are they've got a complete set by now.", "Buffy: We need to find out where.", "Xander: How?", "Cut to the Bronze. Buffy is interrogating the female vampire. She throws her down onto the floor.", "Buffy: One more time: where are they?", "Vampire: You're too late. Your friends are dead.", "Buffy: (lifts her back up) Tell me where they are!", "Vampire: (laughs) What are you gonna do? Kill me?", "Buffy: As a matter of fact... She throws the vampire onto a pool table.", "Buffy: ...yes. (yanks off her necklace) But since I'm not gonna kill you any time soon, the question becomes... She drops the cross into the vampire's mouth and covers it with her hands.", "Buffy: ...how are we gonna pass the time till then? The cross burns in the vampire's mouth, and she shakes her head. After several seconds Buffy pulls the cross back out.", "Buffy: So. One more time.", "Cut to the warehouse. Cut inside. Collin carries a black case past the Master's skeleton, which has been laid out on a table. Absalom takes it from him.", "Absalom: Begin. Another vampire starts pulling on a chain, and Willow, Giles, Cordelia and Jenny are moved along an overhead conveyor to hang upside down and unconscious above the Master's bones.", "Absalom: Behold, these four mortals. Buffy comes into the warehouse through a side door. Angel and Xander follow her in.", "Absalom: Witnesses to our Master's wretched demise. They will breathe their last this night. The blood that pours from their throats will bring NEW LIFE to the old one. We gather for his resurrection. For the dawn of this new hell. Buffy looks up at the four of them hanging upside down.", "Xander: (in a low voice) Buffy! Buffy! (she faces him) We gotta do something now!", "Buffy: You two get the others out of here.", "Angel: We need you to distract the vampires.", "Buffy: Right.", "Xander: What are you gonna do?", "Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. (turns to her task) That oughta distract them.", "Cut to Absalom, holding a Kuhkri, a long, curved knife.", "Absalom: For the old one. For his pain. For the dark.", "Vampires: For the dark! Absalom kisses the blade. Cut to one of the vampires. A stake is suddenly thrust through him from behind, and he instantly turns into ashes. Buffy stands there now in a fighting stance. Absalom looks at her in disbelief and then roars. Three vampires begin fighting her. She easily keeps them at bay. Angel and Xander seize the opportunity to climb the ladder to the platform above to get the others off of the conveyor. Buffy continues to fight the vampires below. Absalom takes Collin and ushers him out of the warehouse. He comes back in and sees Angel and Xander pulling on the chain, bringing the others back over to the platform.", "Absalom: The sacrifices! Stop them! A vampire responds to Absalom's command and runs to the ladder to the platform. Buffy continues to fight below as Angel and Xander keep pulling on the chain. Absalom looks around and then rushes out of the warehouse. Buffy keeps fighting. She does a flip over some wooden boxes, grabs one on the way and smashes it onto a vampire's head. She kicks the vampire in the face, knocking him down and breaking a few pieces of wood off of the box. She gets tackled by another vampire. On the platform above Giles, Jenny and Cordelia are already off of the conveyor. Angel and Xander lift Willow off as well. Giles rolls on the floor in semi- consciousness. They lay Willow down and tend to them all. A vampire finally makes it up to the platform and growls. Angel looks at him with his game face on and growls back. The vampire attacks, and Angel rushes to meet him. They fight. Below one of them is on top of Buffy. She reaches up with a broken piece of wood and jams it into the vampire's back, and gets ash all over herself. The vampire she knocked down before with the box gets up and rushes to attack her. Above, Angel and his opponent fall through a poorly covered hole in the platform. Jenny is awake now and crawls over to Giles, who is also awake now and trying to sit up.", "Giles: Are you alright?", "Jenny: Yeah, I'm okay.", "Giles: Where's Buffy? Xander is at the edge of the platform holding a still unconscious Willow with his arm and watching the fight below.", "Xander: Uh, she's working out her issues. Buffy is still fighting a vampire below. Underneath the platform Angel's attacker tries to jam a piece of wood into his chest, but Angel stops him and jams it into his instead. Buffy kicks the vampire she's fighting into a storage rack, and he goes down with it. Absalom shows up again in the doorway with a large sledgehammer.", "Absalom: ENOUGH! Buffy turns to look at him. The other vampire gets back up.", "Absalom: Your day is done, girl. I'll grind you into a *sticky* paste, and hear you beg before I smash in your face.", "Buffy: So, are you gonna kill me or are we just making small talk? Absalom raises the sledgehammer in indignation and yells as he begins his attack. The other vampire rushes at her from the other side. Buffy calmly looks at the tall wooden torch post in front of her, breaks it off and turns it a few times in her hands. The vampire impales himself on the broken end and crumbles into ash. Absalom runs into the burning end and is set ablaze. He backs up and screams as the flames spread over him. He makes a last desperate attempt to get Buffy and raises the sledgehammer over his head, but is too late as the flames engulf him and instantly burn him up. The sledgehammer falls to the floor with a loud clang. Buffy drops the post and looks over at the Master's skeleton. Cut to the platform above. Willow is awake now.", "Willow: It's over.", "Xander: No, it's not. Cut below. Buffy bends down and picks up the sledgehammer. She slowly walks over to the Master's skeleton and looks at it a moment. Then she swings the hammer back behind her and arcs it directly into the Master's skull, shattering it to pieces. She keeps whaling on the Master's skeleton as Willow, Xander and Giles look down from above. Angel comes up behind her and watches her continue until there's nothing left on the table. She stops and bursts into tears, dropping the sledgehammer to the floor.", "Angel: It's okay. It's okay. Buffy turns around and leans into him, crying into his shoulder. Angel gently holds on to her as she cries. Xander, Willow and Giles continue to watch from above. Willow briefly looks up at Xander.", "Cut to the school the next day. Jenny and Cordelia walk across the quad.", "Cordelia: What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?", "Jenny: What?", "Cordelia: It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains.", "Jenny: Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains.", "Cordelia: I hear ya! Giles and Buffy come walking the other way on the other side of the quad.", "Buffy: I don't think I can face them.", "Giles: Hmm? Of course, you can.", "Buffy: I can't! What am I supposed say? 'Sorry I almost got your throat slit. What's the homework?'", "Giles: Punishing yourself like this is pointless.", "Buffy: It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.", "Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?", "Buffy: Would it have cable?", "Giles: Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit that. But believe me, that was hardly the, the worst mistake you'll ever make. Uh, that wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.", "Buffy: Well, points for effort. (the bell rings) See ya.", "Cut to class. Buffy comes in, sees Willow and Xander and stops. Willow sees her come in. Xander, facing Willow, notices her look up and looks over, too, but goes back to what he's doing on Willow's desk. Buffy walks over to an empty desk next to Willow.", "Willow: Hey, Buffy.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Willow: We saved you a seat. Buffy looks at them both and sits down.", "Xander: There's a rumor going around that, uh, Mr. Cox is the most boring teacher in the entire world. Like, I think he won a belt or something.", "Buffy: Like, yes.", "Willow: Well, I hear he nods off a lot. So that's a plus.", "Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight?", "Willow: Wednesday, it's kinda beat.", "Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night. The two of them give Buffy big smiles. She smiles back.", "Xander: Hey, I got a plan: how 'bout miniature golf.", "Willow: There's no course here.", "Xander: Okay, uh, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent... They make small talk until class begins. The camera slowly pans around them.", "Cut to the warehouse. Collin surveys the damage Buffy has wrought. He looks all around him at the pieces of bone strewn all over the place.", "Collin: I hate that girl." ]

[ "The Night of St. Vigeous is fast approaching, when the power of all vampires will be at its peak. Spike and Drusilla blast into town and learn that Sunnydale has its very own Slayer. Impatient to add a third notch to his tally of Slayer-kills, Spike attacks Buffy at Sunnydale High on Parent Teacher Night-with disastrous results." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High.", "Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, 'Think of your principal as your pal.'", "Cut to Snyder's office. He's lecturing Buffy and Sheila.", "Snyder: I say, 'Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner.' Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school? The camera pans from Sheila, looking blase', over to Buffy, looking apprehensive.", "Snyder: Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.", "Sheila: I didn't stab anyone with a trowel. They were pruning shears.", "Snyder: On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building.", "Buffy: W-well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said i-it coulda been mice.", "Snyder: Mice.", "Buffy: M-mice that were smoking?", "Snyder: The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight- starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.", "Sheila: What does the winner get?", "Snyder: Expelled. (Buffy looks at him in shock) Thursday is Parent- Teacher night. Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your teachers, assuming you have any left. I've decided to put the two of you in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my good will. And may affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?", "Buffy: I'm clear. (to Sheila) Don't you feel clear? (Sheila just looks back) We're very clear.", "Snyder: Good. Because you mess up this time, and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers.", "Cut to the school's main entrance. The bell rings. Buffy and Sheila come walking out of the building.", "Buffy: Well, it shouldn't be that hard. We can work on the banners at lunch tomorrow and figure out refreshments then?", "Sheila: Yeah, sure, whatever. (yells) Hey, meatpie! (walks off) Xander and Willow meet up with Buffy.", "Xander: Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?", "Buffy: His two worst students. That's what mom sees when she looks at me. A Sheila. Sheila kisses an older boy with long, blonde hair.", "Xander: Well, Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she *can* bring home to mother.", "Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.", "Xander: (to Willow) You're bad to the bone.", "Willow: I'm a rebel.", "Buffy: It's not fair. I'm the Slayer. That requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What's Sheila's excuse?", "Xander: Homework. She won't do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might wanna keep away any sharp implements when you're working with her.", "Buffy: Do you think any other Slayers ever had to go to high school?", "Xander: It's no biggie. You'll have a nice soire'e. The parents will love it. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.", "Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!", "Xander: Whadaya mean? Nothing's gonna happen.", "Willow: Not until some dummy says, 'as long as nothing bad happens.'", "Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx!", "Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? The girls give Xander looks of exasperation and walk off.", "Xander: Well, you guys don't know. (hugs his satchel) Maybe this time it'll be different.", "Cut to a small park and playground that night. A classic 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite crashes through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and screeches to a halt. Spike gets out and strolls over to the curb. He takes a deep breath and lights a cigarette.", "Spike: Home, sweet home. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside Collin's warehouse.", "Vampire#1: The Master is dead. Someone has to take his place.", "Vampire#2: As long as the Slayer's alive, whoever takes his place will be sharing his grave.", "Vampire#1: Then let the soul who kills her wear his mantle.", "Collin: Can you do it?", "Vampire#1: Yes. This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.", "Spike: (appears behind them) *You* were *there*? (chuckles) Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.", "Vampire#1: I oughta rip your throat out.", "Spike: (turns his back to him and strolls away) I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move. Vampire#1 rushes him from behind, and Spike swings his fist up without even looking, hitting him in the face and knocking him down and out.", "Spike: So. Who do you kill for fun around here?", "Collin: Who are you?", "Spike: Spike. You're that Anointed guy. I read about you. (growls at vampire#2) You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.", "Collin: Can you?", "Spike: A lot faster than Nancy-boy there. Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. (can't keep a straight face) Who am I kidding? I *love* to brag! There was this one Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion, and... He senses someone behind him and turns his head to look as he morphs into his human guise.", "Spike: Drusilla. (goes to her) You shouldn't be walking around. You're weak.", "Drusilla: Look at all the people. Are these nice people?", "Spike: We're getting along.", "Drusilla: (stares at Collin) This one has power. I could feel it from the outside.", "Spike: Yeah. He's the big noise in these parts. Anointed, and all that.", "Drusilla: (to Collin) Do you like daisies? Hmm? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies. (looks up and off into space) Spike? I'm cold.", "Spike: (puts his jacket around her) I've got you.", "Drusilla: I'm a princess.", "Spike: That's what you are. She pricks Spike on the cheek with her fingernail, and a bead of blood flows out. She reaches up and licks it off. They move close to kiss but don't, and instead look over at Collin.", "Spike: Me and Dru, we're movin' in. (they separate) Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here... step on up. (to Collin) I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal? Collin nods. Drusilla bows her head down and puts her hands to her temples.", "Drusilla: I can't see her. The Slayer. I can't see. (looks back up) It's dark where she is. Kill her. Kill her, Spike. Kill her for me?", "Spike: It's done, baby.", "Drusilla: Kill her for princess?", "Spike: I'll chop her into messes.", "Drusilla: You are my sweet... my little Spike.", "Spike: (to Collin) So. How 'bout this Slayer? Is she tough?", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's standing at her mirror, trying to brush her hair.", "Buffy: Ow!", "Joyce: What's wrong?", "Buffy: I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.", "Joyce: Life is hard, dear.", "Buffy: Don't I know it. Is that a split end?", "Joyce: I got the mail.", "Buffy: Good.", "Joyce: Which included a reminder notice about Parent-Teacher night. Thursday.", "Buffy: That's good.", "Joyce: Which you were planning on telling me about?", "Buffy: Oh, for... (faces her mom) the last two weeks.", "Joyce: Uh-huh. So, what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about?", "Buffy: Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge. (sits on her bed)", "Joyce: And, uh, this absorption rate? How is it reflected in your homework and test scores?", "Buffy: What can you really tell about a person from a test score?", "Joyce: Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again.", "Buffy: Oh, that.", "Joyce: Well, I look forward to meeting your principal.", "Buffy: Won't that be something.", "Joyce: (comes over to the bed) Look, sweetheart. Life is more than grades and homework and not getting kicked out of school. (sits next to Buffy)", "Buffy: I know.", "Joyce: But we moved once because of you getting in trouble. And I had to start a new business, not to mention a new life in a whole new town.", "Buffy: And you don't wanna do it again.", "Joyce: What I don't want is to be disappointed in you again.", "Buffy: Mom, that's the last thing that I want, too. (exhales) I'm trying, I really am. I just... I have a lot of pressure on me right now.", "Joyce: Wait till you get a job. Sleep tight. (gets up and leaves) Buffy gets up from her bed and walks over to her desk. She pulls open the top left drawer. In it is a jar of holy water, a cross, a few stakes, a set of brass knuckles. She looks up at her reflection in the mirror.", "Buffy: I have a job.", "Cut to the school. Cut to the lounge. Buffy and Willow are working on a banner.", "Willow: Sheila's a no-show? She goes to this really rank bar. The Fish Tank? Sometimes they have raids and other stuff that can make you tardy.", "Buffy: D'you think you can help me cram some French tonight? I don't want Mr. DeJean telling my mother I'm an imbecile.", "Willow: I thought we were going to the Bronze tonight. 'Cause of how you thought Angel might show?", "Xander: If he does he'll meet some other nice girl? Studying comes first.", "Buffy: We're going to the Bronze. I can study and party and do Parent- Teacher night and make my mother proud as long as I don't have to... Giles and Jenny come walking in.", "Giles: Buffy!", "Buffy: ...fight vampires.", "Giles: (to Jenny) There is nothing in the chronicles about a-an extraneous lunar cycle.", "Jenny: The Order never accurately calculated the Mesopotamian Calendar. Rupert, you have *got* to read something that was published after 1066.", "Giles: Very funny.", "Xander: What's the up, guys?", "Giles: W-um, Ms. Calendar has been researching, well, uh, surfing on her computer, a-and she's... Well, according to her calculations, this Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous.", "Buffy: Let me guess: he didn't make balloon animals.", "Giles: No, he led a crusade, of, of, uh, vampires. They swept through Edessa, Harran, and points east.", "Jenny: And they didn't leave much behind.", "Buffy: Well, if I survive Parent-Teacher night tomorrow, I'll see what I can do about Saturday.", "Giles: You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious.", "Buffy: And getting kicked out of school is laughs aplenty?", "Giles: You know what happens when you, you let your life interfere with your slaying.", "Buffy: Okay, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, then I promise my banner making won't get me killed, okay? Just please let me get through this week.", "Giles: This Saturday's going to need a great deal of preparation.", "Willow: Well, we'll help.", "Xander: Yeah, I'll whittle stakes.", "Willow: A-and I can research stuff.", "Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.", "Giles: Yes, your help will be greatly appreciated, but when it comes to battle, Buffy must fight alone. You are, after all, the Slay... (sees Snyder in the hall) ...slay-ve. Slaves. You're, you're all slaves to the, uh, television.", "Jenny: Yes.", "Giles: Young people nowadays. (to Jenny) Shall we go?", "Jenny: Mm, let's. (they leave) Snyder comes over.", "Snyder: (to Willow and Xander) You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?", "Xander: (laughs nervously) No.", "Willow: We're hindering.", "Snyder: She ditched. (takes a deep breath) Mm. I feel an expulsion coming on.", "Buffy: No. No, actually, Sheila's been helping us for hours. Um, she just went to get some more paint. Sheila comes in the door behind Buffy and takes off her glasses. Buffy notices Snyder looking behind her, turns around and sees her.", "Buffy: Oh! Oh, is there no more teal in the art room? (goes over to Sheila) I know you wanted everything to be perfect, but let's just go with what we have.", "Snyder: Just make sure everything is perfect on Thursday. (turns and leaves)", "Sheila: Thanks for covering. Guy's a serious rodent.", "Buffy: No problem.", "Sheila: Did you really burn down a school building one time?", "Buffy: Well, not actually one time.", "Sheila: Cool.", "Cut to the Bronze. Nickel is the band tonight. They're in the middle of playing \"1000 Nights\". Xander dances lamely by himself as Willow helps Buffy with her French at a table.", "Lyrics: A drink you can't resist / And in your head a voice you'll always miss", "Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. (looks at Willow) Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?", "Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'", "Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling.", "Willow: And you said it wrong.", "Buffy: Oh, je stink.", "Willow: You're just not focused. It's Angel missage.", "Buffy: Well, he didn't say for sure. It was a 'maybe see ya there' kinda deal.", "Xander: Guys, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me.", "Willow: Well, we are studying.", "Xander: C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes.", "Buffy: No wonder my brain's fried. She gets up. Willow starts to protest, but Buffy and Xander drag her along with them.", "Buffy: Come on. Spike walks up to their table and watches them dance as the band starts a new song, \"Stupid Thing\".", "Lyrics: I did a stupid thing last night / I called you / A moment of weakness / No, not a moment / More like three months of weakness Spike walks along the edge of the dance floor and studies Buffy intently. Xander and Buffy dance lively. Willow doesn't move much, but smiles widely, enjoying herself.", "Lyrics: I'm one step away from crashing to my knees / One step away from spilling my guts to you Spike goes over to vampire#1 at the bar.", "Spike: Go get something to eat.", "Lyrics: I'm doing all right / No, don't feel sorry for me / Really I'm all right / I'm one step away from crashing to my knees He comes back to some people near where Buffy, Willow and Xander are dancing and speaks loudly so that Buffy is sure to overhear.", "Spike: Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody. Buffy runs from the dance floor. Spike watches her go. Cut outside to the alley. Vampire#1 has found a young woman. She trembles with fear as he grabs her neck and moves in for the bite. Buffy grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him off of her. He somersaults and rolls up to his feet.", "Vampire#1: Slayer!", "Buffy: Slayee! She does a roundhouse kick to his face. He only flinches a bit. He swings at her, but she sidesteps the blow. She swings back, and he grabs her arm, swings her around and throws her into a metal roll-up door. She hits it high and hard and falls to the ground, but quickly gets up again. He swings again and hits the metal door with his fist when she ducks the punch. Xander and Willow arrive. Buffy blocks the vampire's punch and holds on to his arm. She looks behind her at the others.", "Buffy: Get her out of here! She turns her attention to punching the vampire repeatedly in the face. Willow grabs the woman and pulls her away and out of danger.", "Buffy: (to the rhythm of her punches) And a *stake* would be *nice*! Xander runs to find a stake. Spike looks on from the side. Cut inside to the table. Xander goes though Buffy's purse. He pulls out a yo-yo and sets it aside. He pulls out a tampon and quickly drops it like a hot potato. He finds a stake, and rushes back out.", "Cut to the alley. Buffy punches the vampire's face again and then his chest. He gets loose from her and lands a punch on her face. She goes spinning down to the ground and lies there, momentarily stunned. The vampire looms over her.", "Vampire#1: I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine. He bends down to get her, and she kicks him in the face. He staggers backward as she maneuvers to he feet.", "Vampire#1: Spike! Gimme a hand! Buffy looks over at Spike in the shadows. Xander is back with the stake.", "Xander: Buffy! She turns to him and he throws her the stake. She catches it out of the air, and in a smooth, swift motion plunges it home into the vampire's chest. He doesn't even have time to fall before he crumbles to ashes. Spike comes out of the shadows slowly clapping his hands. Buffy looks at him with a confused expression on her face. Willow and Xander see him, too.", "Spike: Nice work, love.", "Buffy: Who are you?", "Spike: You'll find out on Saturday.", "Buffy: What happens on Saturday?", "Spike: I kill you. Buffy is speechless and just watches him leave. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The alley outside the Bronze. Sheila comes out with two guys and they walk along the alley.", "Sheila: Alright. Which one's Dwayne and which one's Dell? (hic) Don't tell me. Dell's the one with the tattoos. You guys weren't lyin' about havin' a Cadillac, were you? 'Cause I'm crazy about a Cad. Just the feel of the leather makes me wanna... She's gotten a bit ahead of Dwayne and stops to look back at him. She sees he's gone.", "Sheila: Where'd you go? She looks the other way at Dell, and he's gone, too.", "Sheila: What's going on? (starts walking slowly, looking around) Where are you guys? Not funny! She turns around and is startled by Spike.", "Sheila: Who are you?", "Spike: Who do you want me to be?", "Sheila: Did you see...", "Spike: ...those two losers who thought they were good enough for you?", "Sheila: What happened to 'em?", "Spike: They got sleepy.", "Sheila: Huh?", "Spike: And you got something a whole lot better. He slowly walks past her and down the alley. She follows him with her gaze.", "Sheila: Hey, wait up! What's your name? She starts after him. The camera follows her, but then pans down to Dwayne and Dell, dead in a pile of trash.", "Cut to the library. The table is full of books, and Xander, Willow and Jenny are looking through them doing research.", "Giles: Spike. That's what the other vampire called him? That's a little unorthodox, isn't it?", "Buffy: Maybe he's reformed.", "Giles: Perhaps he went by another name in... times past.", "Jenny: Well, whoever he is, we'll need all the help we can get come this Saturday.", "Xander: So, this night of St. Vigeous deal. If they're gonna attack in force, aren't we thinkin' vacation?", "Willow: We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide? I mean, if that Spike guy is leading the attack, (shudders) yeeehehehe.", "Giles: Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced.", "Angel: (suddenly appears) He's worse. (they all look at him) Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.", "Xander: Hmm. So, he's thorough, goal-oriented.", "Buffy: We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show.", "Angel: You said you weren't sure if you were going.", "Buffy: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?", "Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred (Buffy gives her a look) dates with four hundred different... (looks at the mace on the table) Why do they call it a mace?", "Giles: Uh, we do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss.", "Buffy: Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night?", "Jenny: And not dying Saturday.", "Giles: Angel, do you know if this Spike fellow goes under any other name? They all look where he was, but he has disappeared. The library doors finish shutting.", "Xander: Okay, that's it. I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy.", "Cut to Drusilla's room. There is chanting going on elsewhere. The camera pans from her bed past her TV and lamp and over to her collection of dolls. She lifts one and turns it to face away.", "Drusilla: Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example, and will have no cakes today. Shhhh.", "Spike: (comes up behind her) Darling, are you going to eat something?", "Drusilla: I'm not hungry. I miss Prague.", "Spike: You nearly died in Prague. Idiot mob. This is the place for us. (leads her to the bed) The Hellmouth will restore you, put color in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking, and in a few week's time...", "Drusilla: (lies back on the bed) The stars will align, and smile down on us.", "Spike: (leans over her) And then, God, this town will burn.", "Drusilla: (giggles) A pretty fire! He rolls over her and lies down next to her.", "Drusilla: (hears the chanting) They're preparing.", "Spike: St. Vigeous is coming up. Should be a party. Sheila is tied up and gagged with her hands hanging from a hook above her.", "Drusilla: You should go up with them and cleanse.", "Spike: Dru...", "Drusilla: The boy doesn't trust you. They follow him. (sits up) I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.", "Spike: (sits up) Never happen. Alright. (gets off of the bed) I'll go up and get chanty with the fellas, but *you* (goes to Sheila) got to do me one favor. (takes Sheila off of the hook) Eat something. (hands Sheila to Drusilla and leaves)", "Drusilla: (turns Sheila to the dolls) You see, Miss Edith? (cut to the doll facing away) If you'd been good you could (cut to Drusilla in her game face) watch with the rest. Sheila looks at Drusilla, but can't scream because of her gag. Drusilla roars and moves in for a quick, violent bite.", "Cut to the school the next day. Willow checks the crossbow. Jenny walks behind her with extra pieces of wood to make stakes and sets them on the table between Cordelia and Xander, who are whittling away. Jenny continues walking over behind Buffy. Buffy holds up a large sharp machete, then starts chopping something with it. The camera pans down to show that it's a cucumber. She's preparing a vegetable tray.", "Giles: For three nights the unholy ones scourge themselves into a fury, um, culminating in a savage attack on the night of St. Vigeous.", "Xander: Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?", "Cordelia: You sure don't.", "Buffy: Ooo! Parents start arriving in an hour. Okay, so, um, banners are in place, the lounge is comfy... What am I forgetting?", "Willow: Punch?", "Buffy: Punch. I need, I need punch!", "Cordelia: My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?", "Xander: Three minutes.", "Cordelia: So, can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly. (Buffy looks up at her) We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.", "Buffy: You guys hold down the fort. I'm punch bound. She leaves the library. As soon as she's gone Xander and Cordelia both reach over and grab something off of the vegetable tray. Buffy sticks her head back in the door.", "Buffy: No!", "Cut to later at Parent-Teacher night. Buffy is doling out the punch into cups. Willow comes over.", "Willow: What kinda punch did you make?", "Buffy: Uh, lemonade. (hands her a cup) I made it fresh and everything.", "Willow: How much sugar did you use? (takes a sip)", "Buffy: Sugar? Willow grimaces at the incredibly sour taste, and puts the cup down.", "Willow: It's very good.", "Buffy: Okay, now all I have to do is keep my mother and Snyder from crossing paths for the rest of the night.", "Willow: (sees Joyce) Hi, Mrs. Summers.", "Joyce: Hi, Willow. Hi, honey. Did you, uh, do all this?", "Buffy: Yeah! Um, (picks up a cup) here, have some lemonade. (sees Snyder) Right after Willow shows you the library. I have to stay here and hostess. (puts the cup back down)", "Willow: Great, the library. (puts her arm around Joyce's shoulder) Uh, um, ooo, no, G-Giles and everyone...", "Buffy: ...is locked in there studying. Right. French class it is! Willow leads Joyce away. Snyder comes up to Buffy.", "Snyder: Was that your mother? She grabs a cup and a ladle full of lemonade and turns toward him.", "Buffy: Here. (fakes a spill) Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English. Snyder doesn't believe a word of it, and makes tracks to follow Joyce and Willow. Buffy lets out a worried moan and looks up at the clock. 6:15. Dissolve to 8:45. Cordelia comes walking in.", "Cordelia: Giles has us locked up in that library working on *your* weapons. Even slaves get minimum wage. She stares at Buffy's face.", "Buffy: What?", "Cordelia: You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?", "Buffy: Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.", "Cordelia: Yeah, and I can see the oil. (sees Joyce talking to Willow) Is that your mom? (Buffy looks) Now that is a woman that knows how to moisturize. Did it, like, skip a generation?", "Joyce: (comes over) Well, I believe that I have seen every classroom on campus, and just as I get there all your teachers miraculously have stepped out. Willow smiles over Joyce's shoulder, proud of herself.", "Buffy: Oh! (notices Snyder coming back into the room) Oh. Um, but you haven't seen the boiler room yet. And, you know, that's really interesting, what with the boiler being in the room and all. (laughs nervously) Snyder comes up to the group. Joyce offers her hand to him.", "Joyce: Hi. I'm Joyce Summers. I'm Buffy's mother.", "Snyder: (ignores her hand) Principal Snyder. I'm afraid we need to talk. My office is down here. Joyce follows Snyder to his office. Cordelia watches them go with a huge smile on her face.", "Buffy: (worried) He didn't look very happy.", "Willow: But you did such a good job.", "Cordelia: When they're done talking...", "Buffy: What?", "Cordelia: My guess? Tenth high school reunion, you'll still be grounded. Buffy gives her a look.", "Willow: Cordelia, have some lemonade. Cordelia heads over to the punch table.", "Cut to the library. Giles and Jenny continue their research while Xander keeps whittling.", "Giles: Oh, there you are.", "Jenny: There who is?", "Giles: Our new friend Spike. He's known as 'William the Bloody'. Earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. Very pleasant. Well, here's some good news: he's barely two hundred. He's not even as old as Angel is. (frowns) Oh.", "Xander: That's a bad look, right?", "Giles: I think your suggestion of running away this Saturday might've been a good one. Spike has fought two Slayers in the last century, and... he's killed them both.", "Cut to the lounge. Buffy and Willow see Snyder come back in with Joyce. She comes up to her daughter.", "Joyce: In the car, now. Buffy and Willow exchange a concerned look. Buffy starts to follow her mom out. She turns her head to look back at Snyder, who's going around turning off the lights. Joyce waits for Buffy to join her, and they walk out of the room. Snyder goes to another switch by the back wall next to a large window and turns it off. Two vampires suddenly come crashing through the window. Buffy looks back into the room. Several more vampires follow, and they storm into the room. The people panic and begin to run around. Buffy comes back into the room. The vampires have lined themselves up.", "Spike: What can I say? I couldn't wait.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The lounge. Spike attacks. Buffy grabs a chair and throws it at him, tripping him up. She runs back out of the room and grabs her mother's hand. She turns down the hall to the right, but more vampires come in that way, so she goes the other way. In the lounge Spike grabs hold of a man.", "Spike: Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!", "Cut to the hall. Another vampire is guarding an exit. Buffy heads in another direction.", "Buffy: Everybody, this way! C'mon! C'mon! Snyder and several others run past her as she shoves a cleaning cart into the two vampires chasing them. Willow and Cordelia come running out of the lounge and nearly trip over them. They head to their right, but a vampire grabs Cordelia and she screams. Willow grabs a bust from a display pedestal and wields it back for a swing.", "Willow: Hey! The vampire looks up and Willow swings the bust hard into his face, knocking him off of Cordelia. Willow grabs her hand and pulls her into a closet.", "Cut to the hall outside the library. Giles, Jenny and Xander come running out.", "Giles: What the hell...?! They see Buffy's group running toward them.", "Buffy: Spike and an army! Look out! They look behind them and see a vampire. Jenny screams.", "Giles: Back! They run back into the library and hold the door shut as the vampire slams into it. Buffy opens the door to the science classroom.", "Buffy: In here! Now! The people all run into the room. Buffy follows them in last and closes the door as the two vampires come running into the hall and begin banging on the door. Cut inside the classroom. Snyder and another man maneuver a storage cabinet in front of the door. Buffy runs over to the other door and closes and locks it. The power goes out.", "Cut to the library. Giles, Jenny and Xander look up from barricading the doors as the lights go off and the emergency lights come on.", "Cut to the hall outside the lounge. Spike is still holding on to the man.", "Vampire#2: We cut the power. Nobody got out.", "Spike: And the Slayer?", "Vampire#2: She either went that way (points to his right) or that way. (points to his left) I saw two others.", "Spike: You don't know?! (lets go of the man) I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. (grabs his head and snaps his neck) But not to kill. (looks at vampire#2) I feel better.", "Cut to the library. Giles tries the phone, but it's dead.", "Giles: They've cut the phones. (has an idea) Wait a minute. There's an old boarded up-cellar behind the stacks. You can get out that way. (to Xander) Find Angel. He knows about Spike. We need him.", "Xander: No, I'm not going anywhere until I know that Buffy and Willow are alright.", "Giles: No one will be alright unless we get some help! Xander gives in and goes. Cut to the classroom.", "Man: Who are those people, and what do they want?", "Joyce: I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their faces? I...", "Snyder: Yes! PCP! It's a gang on PCP! We've gotta get out of here. He grabs a desk, sets it in front of a window and starts climbing.", "Buffy: You can't go outside! They'll kill you!", "Snyder: You don't tell me! I tell you!", "Buffy: (pulls him down) They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until *I* say so. Do you hear me?", "Snyder: Who do you think you are?", "Buffy: I'm the one that knows how to stop them. She looks up and walks across the room, trying to find a way into the ceiling. Joyce grabs her by the shoulders.", "Joyce: Buffy, are you crazy? Look, I know you've been accused of fighting and other things, but those guys are serious. You can't go out there.", "Buffy: I know. That's why I'm going up there. She grabs a stool, sets it on a lab table, climbs up and pushes a ceiling panel aside. She looks down at her mom.", "Buffy: Don't worry, Mom. She lifts herself up into the ceiling.", "Cut to the halls. Spike is looking for Buffy.", "Spike: Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in.", "(kicks a door open)", "The camera closes on the closet where Willow and Cordelia are hiding. Cut inside. Cordelia is holding a broom for defense.", "Spike: Are you getting a word picture here?", "Cordelia: (whispers) Oh, God, oh, God! Willow clasps her hand around Cordelia's mouth to keep her quiet. Cut to the hall. Spike is about to kick the closet door open when he's distracted.", "Vampire#2: Spike! Listen... They listen and hear activity in the ceiling. Cut to Buffy crawling through the ceiling space. Cut to the hall.", "Spike: (sing-song) Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!", "Cut to the library. Giles stuffs several stakes into his jacket pockets, grabs a battle-ax from the table and heads toward the door.", "Jenny: Hey-hey-hey-hey! What are you doing? Giles starts to push his way through the barricade they constructed.", "Jenny: There are at least three vampires in that hall! God only knows how many others in the building!", "Giles: (looks at Jenny) Listen! I am the Watcher! I am responsible for her, and I have, I have to go! He starts pushing things aside again.", "Jenny: Rupert! He looks back at her again.", "Jenny: Be careful.", "Giles: Push these back as soon as I... Buffy breaks through the ceiling and drops to the floor. Jenny steps back in surprise. Giles lifts his ax.", "Giles: Buffy! (lowers the ax) You're all right! Buffy takes off her outer sweater.", "Jenny: How are the others?", "Buffy: Principal Snyder, my mother and four others are locked in the science room across the hall. Willow and Cordelia ran the other way. (puts on Xander's bag) I don't know if they're... Where's Xander?", "Giles: He got out through the stacks. He's getting Angel. Jenny helps Buffy put crosses and stakes into the bag.", "Buffy: Good. Okay, I'm gonna take the vamps out in the hall. After that you get my mother and the others out the same way.", "Giles: Let me help you.", "Buffy: Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know you'll make sure she does.", "Giles: Bloody right, I will. Fair enough. What's your plan?", "Buffy: Well, they split up to hold us here, so I'm gonna take 'em one on one. Set 'em up and knock 'em down. She grabs a stool and positions it under the hole in the ceiling. She gets up on the stool and lifts herself back up.", "Giles: Watch your back!", "Cut to the science classroom. Snyder is pacing.", "Joyce: Why don't you sit down?", "Snyder: This is my school. What I say goes, and I say this is *not* happening.", "Joyce: Well, then I guess the danger's over!", "Man: I'm not waiting for them to open the doors. I'm gettin' out!", "Joyce: Don't be an idiot!", "Snyder: I'm beginning to see a certain mother-daughter resemblance. The man climbs up to the window and lifts the sash.", "Joyce: No! Look, you heard what Buffy said!", "Snyder: She's a student. What does she know? He takes off his jacket and goes to help the man. The two of them begin bending back the metal slats blocking the window.", "Cut to the hall. A vampire throws himself against the science classroom door. It doesn't budge. He sees Spike looking at him.", "Vampire: Yeah. Door's solid.", "Spike: Use your head. He grabs the vampire by the shoulder and shoves his head into a fire emergency case containing an ax. He pulls the ax out, thrusts it into the vampire's hands and continues down the hall. He passes two others pounding on another door.", "Spike: You! Come with me! One of the vampires follows him.", "Cut to the science classroom. The vampire begins swinging the ax at the door. Joyce casts a worried look at Snyder and the other man. They get two slats bent aside.", "Snyder: (grunts) I did it! The man starts to pull himself through the opening. Snyder helps, but lets go when the man begins to kick and scream while struggling with something outside. Snyder watches as the man is pulled through the window and then steps down. Joyce quickly climbs up, bends the slats back and closes the sash.", "Cut to the hall. Spike is listening for activity in the ceiling. He pinpoints her sound. Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy is making her way through it. Cut outside. The man lies dead on the grass. Xander and Angel see him.", "Xander: You know a lot about this Spike guy, so, um... you got a plan? Angel grabs Xander by the throat.", "Xander: Good plan. Angel drags him into the building.", "Cut to the closet.", "Cordelia: (whispers) I think he's gone. (reaches for the door)", "Willow: (whispers) He could come back!", "Cordelia: (looks at Willow) What are we gonna do?", "Willow: Pray.", "Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy keeps crawling. Cut to the lounge. Spike finds two metal poles and throws one to the other vampire as he goes back into the hall. He listens for a moment and then shoves the pole up into the ceiling. The other vampire follows suit. Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy sees a pole poke through right in front of her. She begins backing up.", "Cut to the hall. The vampire has almost chopped through the door to the science classroom. He steps around the corner to warn the other vampire.", "Vampire: Hey! Guard the door! I'm almost finished! He goes back to chopping when Buffy breaks through the ceiling behind him. She pulls him down with her as she drops from the ceiling and quickly dispatches him with a stake. Joyce is looking through the hole in the door, but can't see much of anything. Buffy gets up and looks through the hole.", "Joyce: Buffy! Are you okay?", "Buffy: I'm fine, mom.", "Joyce: Buffy, look, uh, get out of here, okay? We'll be alright!", "Buffy: Look, just hang on for one more minute until I tell you to open the door. She quietly makes her way to the other hall, stake in hand. She peeks around the corner and see the other vampire standing there with his back to her. She hears a noise behind her and looks.", "Buffy: Sheila! Where've you been?", "Sheila: Sorry I'm late. There's some really weird guys outside.", "Buffy: Shh! Yeah, I know. They're trying to kill us.", "Sheila: (picks up the ax and smiles) This should be fun. Buffy slowly heads back to the other hall.", "Cut to Spike still poking the poles into the ceiling. Angel comes into the hall with Xander. Spike sees him.", "Spike: Angelus! Angel wraps his arm around Xander's neck.", "Angel: Spike!", "Spike: I'll be damned! He tosses his pole aside and they greet each other with a hug and a laugh.", "Angel: I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there.", "Spike: I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?", "Angel: Everything.", "Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?", "Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed! (laughs)", "Spike: (laughing) People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!", "Xander: I knew you were lying. Angel gives Xander a squeeze to shut him up.", "Xander: Undead liar guy. Angel grabs him by the hair and shirt and holds up his exposed neck.", "Angel: Wanna bite before we kill her?", "Cut to Buffy. She and Sheila are about to round the corner.", "Buffy: (whispers) Stay behind me. She goes into the other hall and quietly makes her way to the vampire, holding her stake up and ready. Behind her Sheila vamps out and raises the ax. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The halls. Sheila raises her ax. Giles sees through the round library door window behind her and yells out a warning.", "Giles: Buffy! Look out! She spins around and grabs the ax from Sheila in mid-swing. She swings it around and hits Sheila in the jaw with the butt of the handle. The other vampire attacks and ducks as Buffy swings the ax at him. The ax gets buried in the wall. The vampire smiles as he straightens back up, thinking he avoided her blow, but then looks down at the stake protruding from his chest. He collapses to the floor and bursts into ashes. Buffy looks over at Sheila and watches her run from the hall, then rushes back to the classroom door.", "Buffy: Mom, now!", "Joyce: (opens the door) Okay, come on, let's go! Everyone rushes out of the classroom and into the library.", "Joyce: C'mon! Hurry!", "Buffy: (to Giles) Get them out!", "Joyce: You're coming too!", "Buffy: In a minute! Go! (rushes off)", "Joyce: (watching her go) Buffy!", "Cut to Spike and Angel.", "Spike: I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age.", "Angel: I'm not much for company.", "Spike: No, you never were. So, why're you so scared of this Slayer?", "Angel: Scared?", "Spike: Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat. Now look at you. I bet this, uh, tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?", "Angel: I saw her kill the Master. Hey, you think you can take her alone? Be my guest. I'll just feed and run. (roars and bends to Xander's neck)", "Spike: (holds up his hand) Don't be silly! We're all friends. We'll do it together. Let's drink to it. They both slowly lean in to Xander's neck. At the last moment Spike punches Angel in the face, making him stagger back.", "Spike: You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!", "Angel: Things change.", "Spike: Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom! (grabs his pole from the floor) Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport! The vampires roar and attack. Xander barges out the door behind him and runs. Angel follows as the other vampires give chase. Spike senses someone behind him and looks up.", "Spike: Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe (turns to face Buffy) girl.", "Buffy: (holding the ax) Do we really need weapons for this?", "Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly. He drops the pole and slowly steps toward Buffy. She drops the ax.", "Spike: The last Slayer I killed... she begged for her life. Buffy slowly walks to the middle of the hall, watching him intently.", "Spike: You don't strike me as the begging kind.", "Buffy: You shouldn'ta come here.", "Spike: No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. (smirks) I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.", "Buffy: No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot. They start to fight. Cut outside. Angel and Xander fight the other vampires. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Spike exchange several blows. He throws her into the wall. Cut to the library. Joyce is following everyone out through the stacks when she stops and wonders what happened to her daughter.", "Giles: Come on, everyone. This way! Cut outside. Xander avoids several punches and kicks. His own punch misses, and he gets kicked to the ground from behind. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Spike keep fighting. Cut outside. A vampire has Xander by the neck. Angel punches her off of him. The others get up again and run from the fight. Cut to the hall. Buffy ducks a punch and lands four of her own in a row. Spike grabs her arm and shoves her into the wall. She slides down it quickly, and Spike's next punch goes through the wall. She gets behind him and kicks him high and hard in the neck.", "Spike: Now, that hurt! He pulls his arm out of the wall, ripping a stud out with it, and swings it into Buffy's face. She flies back and lands on the floor, stunned.", "Spike: But not as much as this will. He stands over her and wields back the stud to slam it into her, but he gets hit in the head with the ax. He goes sprawling to the floor and looks up at his attacker. Joyce stands above him with the ax in her hands, ready to swing again.", "Joyce: You get the hell away from my daughter! Spike holds the stud above himself to protect against any blows. Buffy gets to her feet.", "Spike: Women! He gets up and runs through the lounge and out the broken window.", "Joyce: (exhales and drops the ax) Nobody lays a hand on my little girl. They embrace. Buffy looks out the window.", "Cut to later outside. The police are everywhere. The camera pans down to the Police Chief talking to an officer.", "Chief: Take care of this. The officer nods and leaves. The Chief walks over to his car. Snyder comes up to him.", "Snyder: Hello, Bob.", "Chief: It's over. They all got away. I got a body inside, and I got another one on the south lawn. And it looks like he was pulled right through the window.", "Snyder: I told him not to go through that window.", "Cut to Giles and Jenny coming out of the building.", "Jenny: Well, another wonderful fun-filled evening.", "Giles: Uh, yes. You know, um, I will understand if you decide to start avoiding me. Jenny takes Giles' arm, and they walk off together.", "Cut to Angel and Xander.", "Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?", "Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.", "Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?", "Angel: We would've known he bought it. Xander stops as Angel continues on.", "Xander: Hey, what's the deal with you being Spike's sire? What's a sire?", "Cut to Snyder and the Chief.", "Chief: I need to say something to the media people.", "Snyder: So?", "Chief: So? You want the usual story? Gang-related? PCP?", "Snyder: What'd you have in mind? The truth?", "Chief: (considers) Right. Gang-related. PCP.", "Cut to Buffy and Joyce.", "Buffy: So, what did you and Principal Snyder talk about anyway?", "Joyce: Principal Snyder said you were a troublemaker. Buffy looks down in shame.", "Joyce: And I could care less. Buffy looks back up.", "Joyce: I have a daughter who can take care of herself. Who's brave and resourceful and thinks of others in a crisis. No matter who you hang out with or what dumb teenage stuff you think you need to do, I'm gonna sleep better knowing all that.", "Buffy: About how long till this wears off and you start ragging on me again?", "Joyce: Oh, at least a week and a half.", "Buffy: Very cool!", "Cut to later. The last Police car leaves the school. Cut to the hall. The camera pans over to the utility closet. Cut inside. Cordelia is kneeling in prayer. Willow stares at her in disbelief.", "Cordelia: And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they *really* deserve it. Or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible...", "Willow: Ask for some aspirin.", "Cordelia: And can you please send some asp... Hey!", "Cut to morning. The sun comes up over the complex where the vampires gather. The camera pans over to their warehouse. Cut inside. Sunlight is streaming through a high window. Spike is standing by a cage. Drusilla walks around the cage to him.", "Drusilla: Spike, did she hurt you?" ]

[ "After the seal of protection lying in her sarcophagus is broken, a mummified Incan girl in a museum exhibit is revivified when she sucks the life-force from a touring student. An unsuspecting Xander falls head over heels for the Latin beauty, Ampata, and must save Willow when his mistake threatens to cost her her life." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Outside the museum. Buffy, Willow and Xander are walking past the rose gardens toward the building.", "Buffy: This is so unfair.", "Willow: I don't think it's that bad.", "Buffy: It's the Ueber-suck. Mom could've at least warned me.", "Xander: Well, a lot of parents are doing it this year. It's part of this whole cultural exchange magilla. The exhibit, the dance...", "Willow: I have the best costume for the dance!", "Buffy: A complete stranger in my house for two weeks. I'm gonna be insane! A danger to myself and others within three days, I swear.", "Xander: I think the exchange student program's cool. (gets a look from Buffy) I do! It's a beautiful melding of two cultures.", "Buffy: Have you ever done an exchange program?", "Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count? They climb the steps to the building entrance and the cultural exchange exhibit. Cut inside. Cordelia and two other girls are looking over the pictures of the exchange students.", "Cordelia: Ooo! There's mine! Sven. Isn't he lunchable? Mine's definitely the best. She walks past Buffy.", "Buffy: What're you lookin' at?", "Cordelia: Pictures of our exchange students. Look. 100% Swedish, 100% gorgeous, 100% staying at my house! So, how's yours? Visually, I mean.", "Buffy: I don't know. Guy like?", "Xander: By guy-like we are talking big, beefy, guy-like girl, right?", "Buffy: I was just told 'guy'.", "Cordelia: You didn't look at him first? He could be dogly. You live on the edge. (walks off)", "Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.", "Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?", "Xander: There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself. They stop at the end of a row of display cases, and Buffy notices Rodney scraping a mask.", "Buffy: What's he doing?", "Xander: Uh, that's Rodney Munson. He's God's gift to the bell curve. Another student goes up to Rodney and gets growled at.", "Xander: What he lacks in smarts he makes up in lack of smarts.", "Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years. Buffy giggles to herself.", "Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.", "Buffy: (smiles) I better stop him before he gets in trouble.", "Willow: I got it. The non-violent approach is probably better here.", "(goes over to Rodney)", "Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. (looks up at Xander) Do I?", "Xander: The important thing is *you* believe that.", "Cut to Rodney. He's still scraping the mask.", "Rodney: What're you... (looks up) Oh. Willow, hi.", "Willow: That's probably not something you're supposed to be doing. You could get in trouble.", "Rodney: (facetiously) Oh, no. And they might kick me outta school?", "Willow: (smiles) Are we still on for our chem tutorial tomorrow?", "Rodney: Yeah. I think I got almost all fourteen natural elements memorized.", "Willow: There're a hundred and three.", "Rodney suddenly looks worried. Cut to the museum guide.", "Guide: Welcome, students. We shall now proceed into the Incan burial chamber. The human sacrifice is about to begin.", "Cut to the entry to the Inca exhibit. They all walk in.", "Xander: Typical museum trick. Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans.", "Guide: Five hundred years ago, the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess. They take the steps up to a platform where the Incan stone coffin and mummy are on display.", "Willow: I hope this story ends with, 'And she lived happily ever after.'", "Xander: (looks into the coffin) No, I think it ends with, 'And she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy.'", "Guide: The Incan people sacrificed their princess to the mountain god Sebancaya, an offering buried alive for eternity in this dark tomb.", "Willow: They could've at least wrapped her in those nice white bandages, like in the movies?", "Guide: The princess remained there protected only by a cursed seal placed there (points to the plate in the mummy's hands) as a warning to any who would wake her. Cordelia and a few other girls are still looking at the exchange student pictures and laughing.", "Xander: So, Buffy, when's exchange-o boy making his appearance?", "Buffy: His name's Ampata. Gonna be at the bus station tomorrow night.", "Xander: Ooo. The Sunnydale bus depot. Classy! What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with the stench of urine.", "Guide: Now, if you'll follow me this way, please. They all walk past the coffin and follow the guide to the next destination on the tour.", "Cut to later. The exhibit is deserted now except for Rodney, who cautiously looks around and makes his way back up to the mummy. He looks into the stone coffin and sees the plate with the seal.", "Rodney: Aha. Cool. He reaches in and yanks at the plate, trying to wrest it from the mummy's grip. He gets it out of one hand, and yanks it hard to get it out of the other. It comes loose, and he pulls it up too fast, breaking it against the side of the coffin.", "Rodney: Oh! Damn! He reaches in to collect the pieces. The mummy's arms reach up and grab him by the neck. Its eyelids open to reveal empty sockets as it pulls him in closer. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High. Students are arriving for school. Cut to the library. Buffy and Giles are training. Xander is studying at the table.", "Buffy: So, can I go?", "Giles: I think not. Buffy lands four hard hits on the training pad Giles is holding. He flinches at her blows, and after she's done puts the pad down in favor of a much thicker one.", "Buffy: (pouts) How come?", "Giles: Because you are the Chosen One.", "Buffy: Mm. Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One.", "Giles: Well, I'm... afraid that is not... Buffy kicks the pad hard, making Giles stagger back a few steps.", "Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.", "Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.", "Giles: (sarcastically) It's as if you know me. Buffy continues kicking. Xander winces at each blow.", "Giles: Your secret identity is gonna be difficult enough to maintain while this exchange student is living with you. Xander gets up and separates them.", "Xander: Nooot... *with* her. In the same house as her. Am I the only one who's objective enough to make that distinction? (goes to the counter)", "Buffy: So! I think going to the dance like a normal person would be the best way to keep that secret. Giles, come on, budge! No one likes a non- budger. Giles doesn't say a word. She steps back and comes at him for an especially hard kick.", "Giles: FINE! Buffy stops her kick at the last instant.", "Giles: Go.", "Buffy: (smiles) Yay! I win.", "Giles: I'll just go and introduce my shoulder to a, an icepack.", "Xander: (hops off of the counter) So, I guess we're dance-bound. Cool. I think I can get my mom's car, so I'm wheel man.", "Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.", "Xander: Well, yeah, I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna *take* Willow. In the sense of 'take me'. See, with you we're three and everybody's safe. Without you, we're two.", "Buffy: Ah, and we enter dateville. Romance, flowers...", "Xander: Lips. Willow comes into the library, but Xander's back is to the door so he doesn't see her. Buffy pretends not to notice her.", "Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you've know Willow, you've never thought about her lips?", "Xander: Buffy, I love Willow. Willow smiles widely.", "Xander: And she's my best friend. Which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much. Willow's smile fades to disappointment.", "Xander: She's the kind of girl that... I'm best friends with.", "Willow: Hey guys.", "Xander: Willow! (goes to her) Hi! We were just talkin' about happy things. He puts his arm around her and pulls her over to Buffy at the table.", "Xander: Like the three of us going to the dance together. See? (laughs) Happy! Willow isn't smiling.", "Xander: Not happy.", "Willow: No. Uh, oh, y-yes. No. Rodney's missing.", "Giles: (comes out of his office with an ice pack) Trouble with Mr. Munson again? (puts it on his shoulder)", "Willow: His parents say he never came home last night.", "Buffy: Y'know, I don't think I remember seeing Rodney on the bus back from the field trip.", "Willow: I didn't either. I hope he didn't get in trouble at the museum.", "Xander: (chuckles) Hey, maybe he awakened the mummy.", "Willow: (giggles) Right, and it rose from its tomb.", "Buffy: (smiles) And attacked him. (nods) Their smiles fade as they all realize that that may not be so far- fetched.", "Cut to the Inca exhibit at the museum. They all come walking in.", "Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.", "Xander: For twenty-one hours?", "Willow: It's addictive, you know.", "Giles: We'll deal with that when we've... ruled out evil curses. They climb the steps to the platform where the coffin is on display.", "Buffy: One day I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.", "Giles: There was a seal? Buffy steps up to the coffin and looks in.", "Buffy: It was right here. And it's broken. (picks up the largest piece)", "Willow: Does that mean the mummy's loose?", "Buffy: No, comfy as ever. (hands the piece to Giles)", "Giles: Look at this series of pictograms. A man comes out of nowhere and yells, jumps up behind Xander and swings at him with a knife. Xander ducks the blow and gets behind him. The man swings back the other way again blindly, looks into the coffin and is surprised by what he sees there. Xander jumps onto the man's back. He knocks Xander off, and runs off of the platform and away. Xander quickly gets up.", "Xander: Okay, I just saved us, right?", "Buffy: Something did.", "Giles: Well, we'll fret about the details later. Let's just get out of here before he comes back. They all hurry down the steps to leave except Willow, who's noticed something about the mummy.", "Willow: Giles, were the Incas very advanced?", "Giles: Yes, yes, very.", "Willow: Did they have orthodontists?", "Cut to the mummy. There are metal braces on its teeth.", "Cut to the library. They all come in.", "Willow: Rodney looked like he had been dead for five hundred years. How could that be?", "Xander: Maybe we should ask that crazy man with the big old knife.", "Buffy: I don't think he seemed overly chatty.", "Willow: The way he bolted when he saw Rodney, I'd say he was as freaked as we were.", "Giles: My resources on this subject are extremely limited. I-I gather that this particular mummy was from the Sebancaya region of eastern Peru. It's very remote. Now, if there's an answer, then it's, it's locked in the...", "Buffy: ...in the seal.", "Giles: (looks at the seal) It's gonna take me weeks to... translate these pictograms. Well, we'll start tonight with...", "Buffy: Ampata!", "Giles: I was gonna suggest hunting.", "Buffy: No, I'm late. I told my mom I'd pick him up.", "Xander: Uh-uh-uh, Buffy? Where are your priorities? Tracking down a mummifying killer or making time for some Latin lover whose stock in trade is the breakage of hearts?", "Buffy: Ampata's there alone. And I-I don't know how good his English is. He's here from South A... South America. Hey, y'know, maybe he could translate the seal.", "Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?", "Cut to the bus stations. Ampata is standing there alone waiting and looking around for his ride. He hears a whisper.", "Mummy: Ampata... He starts walking in the direction of the voice, passing several parked busses. He hears the voice again, louder this time.", "Mummy: Ampata... He walks between two busses, looking around for whoever it is.", "Ampata: Hello? He sees the mummy come toward him, and is surprised and frightened but doesn't scream or yell. The mummy reaches out, grabs him by the neck, pulls him in and kisses him. Ampata begins to shrivel and dry up as the mummy draws his life force from him.", "Cut to later. Buffy, Willow and Xander arrive at the bus station and look for him.", "Buffy: Forty minutes late. Welcome to America!", "Willow: What if he left already? Willow finds the door to the station building locked.", "Buffy: (calls out) Ampata? Ampata Gutierrez?", "Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? 'Cause I don't know anything much besides Doritos and Chihuahua.", "Buffy: Ampata?", "Ampata: Here! The mummy had regained her appearance of a young teenage girl. She comes walking out from between two busses.", "Ampata: Hello. Xander is instantly taken with her beauty. She comes over and stands before them.", "Ampata: I am Ampata.", "Xander: Ay caramba! I can also say that! Buffy and Willow are also surprised to find that Ampata is a girl. Willow looks up at Xander and sees how he's looking at her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers house. Buffy is showing Ampata around the house.", "Buffy: Dining room... They come into the kitchen from the dining room.", "Buffy: And this (turns on the light) is the kitchen.", "Ampata: (amazed) It's very good!", "Buffy: Yeah, you got your stove, your fridge, it's fully functional. We're very into it.", "Xander: (slow and over-pronounced) Would you like a drink? (gestures)", "Buffy: (opens the fridge) Uh, let's see, we've got milk, and, uh, oh, older milk... Juice?", "Ampata: Please.", "Willow: So, Ampata. You're a girl.", "Ampata: Yes. For many years now.", "Willow: And not a boy, 'cause we thought a boy was coming, and here ya are in a girl way!", "Xander: It's just one of those crazy mix-ups, Will.", "Buffy: So, have you ever been to America before? (sets out glasses)", "Ampata: Uh, I, I have toured.", "Xander: (slow English again) Where did... you go? Buffy gives Willow a look, and goes to get something to munch on as Willow pours the juice.", "Ampata: I was taken to Atlanta, Boston, New York.", "Willow: New York! That's exciting. What was that like?", "Ampata: I did not see so much.", "Xander: Your English is... very bueno. Buffy and Willow exchange another look at Xander's deliberately slow speech.", "Ampata: I listened much.", "Xander: Well, that works out well, because I talk much. (they laugh)", "Cut to later in Buffy's room. Ampata sits down on her bed, surprised at the springiness of it.", "Buffy: Hey! Sorry about the teeniness of the room.", "Ampata: My old one was much smaller.", "Buffy: (sits on her bed) What's it like back home?", "Ampata: Cramped, and... very dead.", "Buffy: Well, you'll feel right at home in Sunnydale.", "Ampata: Oh, no! Ohhhh! (gets up) But... but you have so *much* here!", "(picks up a picture)", "Buffy: How 'bout friends?", "Ampata: They are... (puts the picture down) It is just me.", "Buffy: I've been there. But, hey! You'll meet lots of people tomorrow.", "Ampata: Thank you. (goes back to her bed) You must teach me everything about your life. I want to fit in, Buffy. Just like you. A normal life.", "Buffy: One normal life. Comin' up.", "She reaches over to turn off her light. Cut outside. The man from the museum is hidden there looking in through the window from the bushes.", "Cut to outside the school the next morning. Cordelia and Devon come down some stairs to Oz's van.", "Cordelia: Devon, I told you I'd be at the dance tonight, but I am *not* one of your little groupies. I won't be all doe-eyed looking up at you, standing at the edge of the stage.", "Devon: Got it.", "Cordelia: So, I'll see you afterwards?", "Devon: Sure. Where do you wanna meet?", "Cordelia: I'll be standing at the edge of the stage.", "Devon: (looks over at Sven) With that guy?", "Cordelia: (looks also) Sven! Momento! Needa! (to Devon) This whole student exchange thing has been a horrible nightmare. They don't even speak American. So, I'll see you later? (she allows him a kiss on the cheek) Bye! She starts back up the stairs toward the school. She turns back when she notices that Sven isn't following.", "Cordelia: Sven! Come? Sven starts to follow her. Devon smirks and goes over to Oz, who's dealing with their equipment.", "Devon: Oz, man! What do you think?", "Oz: Of what?", "Devon: Cordelia, man!", "Oz: She's a wonderland tour.", "Devon: You gotta admit, the girl is hot!", "Oz: Yeah, she's a hot girl.", "Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?", "Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here.", "Devon: You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!", "Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.", "Devon: She doesn't have to talk. Oz just smirks.", "Cut to Willow and Xander walking.", "Willow: I worked really hard on my costume. It's pretty cool.", "Xander: Okay, but what about me? I've gotta think.", "Willow: Well, it's a celebration of cultures. There are lots of dress- up alternatives.", "Xander: And a corresponding equal number of mocking alternatives. All aimed at me.", "Willow: Bavarians are cool.", "Xander: Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat.", "Willow: Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot? That came out wrong. Xander didn't take offense because he's too busy looking at Buffy and Ampata arriving for school. Willow notices and looks also. Cut to Buffy and Ampata.", "Buffy: Your first day of school. Nervous?", "Ampata: It is just more people than I have seen in a long time.", "Buffy: Ah, don't worry. You will have no problems making friends. As a matter of fact, I know someone who's dying to meet you.", "Cut to the library. Giles gets right to it.", "Giles: (shakes her hand, smiles) How do you do?", "Ampata: Hi.", "Giles: I was, I was wondering if you could, um, translate this? (shows her the seal)", "Buffy: That was in no way awkward. Ampata takes it and looks at it in disbelief.", "Buffy: Something wrong?", "Ampata: Uh, No! Uh, it is... Uh, why are you asking me?", "Giles: Well, uh, uh... (coughs) It's, well, it's an artifact... from, from, uh, your... region. I-it's, uh, from the tomb of a-an Incan mummy, a-a-actually. We were trying to translate it, uh, um, as a-a project for our, um...", "Willow: Our archeology club.", "Giles: (impressed with her quick thinking) Very good.", "Ampata: It is broken. Where are the other pieces?", "Buffy: That's all we found.", "Ampata: Hmm. It is very old and valuable. (to Giles, holding the seal out to him) You should hide it!", "Giles: Is, is, uh, anything you recognize here? Um, um, this, this, um... this ch-chap here with the knife, for instance?", "Ampata: Well, I-I do not know exactly, but... I-I-I think this represents, I believe the word is... 'bodyguard'?", "Giles: (takes the seal) Bodyguard? Interesting.", "Ampata: Legend has it that he guards the mummy against those who would disturb her.", "Giles: Well, uh, yes, well, that's, um, that's a very good starting point for our, um... club. (looks at Buffy) Um...", "Buffy: Oh, and, uh, a-as club president, I have, um, lots to do. Lots of... stuff. Dull stuff. Uh, oh, Willow, maybe you could...", "Xander: Stay with Ampata for the day. I'd love to. (bows slightly and smiles)", "Ampata: (smiles) Yes! That will be fun. Xander gestures for Ampata to go ahead of him. As she walks out he turns to Buffy and Willow, lets out a breath, and follows her. Willow watches them go.", "Giles: Right. I'll, uh, continue with the translation. Buffy, you research this, uh, bodyguard thing, and, uh, Willow... (turns around) Willow?", "Willow: (still staring after them) Boy. They really like each other.", "Cut to the bleachers on the football field. Xander and Ampata are sitting about two-thirds of the way up.", "Xander: And this (reaches into his satchel) is called a snack food.", "(holds up a Twinkie)", "Ampata: Snack food?", "Xander: Yeah. It's a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a delightful creamy, white substance of goodness. And here's how you eat it.", "He stuffs the whole thing into his mouth. Ampata laughs at the sight.", "Xander: Mm-hm.", "Ampata: Oh, but now I cannot try it.", "Xander: (with a full mouth) That's why you bring two. He produces another one from his bag and hands it to her.", "Ampata: Oh! (studies it) Here goes! She pulls her windswept hair back from her face and proceeds to stuff most of the Twinkie into her mouth. She laughs with delight.", "Xander: (mouth still full) Good, huh? And the exciting part is that they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn't leave you with that heavy... food feeling in your stomach. She squeals with laughter.", "Ampata: (mouth full) You are strange.", "Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.", "Ampata: I like it!", "Xander: I like you like it! She can't help but laugh more at that.", "Xander: Please, don't learn from my English.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is inspecting the seal under a magnifying lamp.", "Buffy: Ha! Or possible ha. (to Willow) Do you think this matches? Willow is off in her own world, idly playing with her stuffed frog.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Willow: Oh! Yes. I'm caring about mummies.", "Buffy: Ampata's only staying two weeks.", "Willow: Yeah. And then Xander can find someone else who's not me to obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn't have a shot. Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.", "Buffy: Good for you.", "Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.", "Giles: (inspecting the seal) Good Lord! (to Buffy) Good work!", "Buffy: My work?", "Giles: Yes. This is most illuminating. It seems Rodney's killer might be the mummy.", "Willow: Where does it say that?", "Giles: Well, here. It implies that the mummy is capable of... feeding on the life force of a person, effectively freeze-drying them, you might say. Extraordinary.", "Buffy: So, then we just have to stop the mummy. Which leads to the question: how do we a) find, and b) stop the mummy?", "Giles: Well, the answer to that is somewhere still in here. Or in the rest of the seal. Cut outside to the bleachers. The bodyguard attacks Xander with his large knife. Ampata screams as she and Xander quickly move apart and the knife hits the seat between them.", "Bodyguard: You stole the seal! Where is it?! He swings again, but Xander scoots back more and then rolls down two levels of seats. The bodyguard comes at him again and tries to stab him, but Xander catches his arm and stops him. Ampata screams again. The bodyguard looks back at her and recognizes her.", "Bodyguard: It is you! Xander kicks him off, and he rolls down the bleachers and to the ground. Ampata grabs Xander's satchel, helps him up and they run away.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office with a cup of tea, and sets it on the table in front of Ampata.", "Giles: Here you are.", "Ampata: Thank you.", "Willow: Why's this guy so into us? I mean, what's he want?", "Xander: He said, 'Give me the seal.'", "Giles: Apparently this is more popular than we realized. I just don't know what we, we should do with it.", "Ampata: Destroy it. (gets a surprised look from Giles) If you do not, someone could die.", "Giles: I'm afraid someone already has.", "Ampata: You mean the man with the knife killed someone?", "Buffy: Uh, no. Well, not exactly.", "Ampata: You are not telling me everything. (looks at them all)", "Xander: You're right, Ampata. (takes her hand) And it's time we do. We're not an archeology club. We're in, uh... Giles interrupts by clearing his throat. Buffy gives him a stern look.", "Xander: We're in the crime club. Which is kinda like the chess club, only with crime, and, um... no chess.", "Ampata: Please understand me. That seal nearly got us killed. It must be destroyed! She gets up and runs from the library. A moment later Xander gets up and runs out after her.", "Xander: Ampata! Buffy and Willow look at each other a bit surprised and confused.", "Cut to the hall. Ampata is sitting on a bench. Xander crouches down beside her.", "Xander: Ampata, listen to me. Nobody's gonna hurt you. I won't let them.", "Ampata: Your investigation is dangerous. I do not want that. Just normal life! She gets up and goes over to the drinking fountain. Xander stands back up and follows her, but stays back and lets her drink. Willow comes out of the library.", "Willow: Is she okay?", "Xander: Wigged. I'm tryin' to convince her that our lives aren't just danger and peril around here. Willow looks over at Ampata sympathetically, then back to Xander.", "Willow: You should take her to the dance.", "Xander: That's a good idea! We'll all go!", "Willow: No, I mean just you.", "Xander: But you were psyched! And your costume!", "Willow: I'll see you there.", "Xander: You know what, Willow? You're my best friend. He goes over to Ampata.", "Willow: I know. (walks off)", "Cut to the library.", "Buffy: I don't get it. Why would the bodyguard have such a jones for a broken piece of rock?", "Giles: Well, um, perhaps... he needs to put it together with the other pieces.", "Buffy: If he has them. I mean, we didn't find them.", "Giles: And if he didn't then, then they'd still be at the museum.", "Buffy: So, maybe we should go there and find them. And odds are he'll show up, too, right?", "Giles: And hopefully we'll be ready.", "Buffy: Hey! Look at us! We came up with a plan. A good plan.", "Giles: Alright. We'll meet there tonight after it closes.", "Buffy: No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans. (gets a stern look from Giles) (exhales) Canceled plans.", "Cut to the stairs in the halls. Xander and Ampata are coming down.", "Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go to with me the dance.", "Ampata: (laughs) Why was that so scary?", "Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if... she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.", "Ampata: Hmm. Then you are very courageous. Can I tell you a secret?", "Xander: Hmm.", "Ampata: I like you, too.", "Xander: Really?", "Ampata: Really!", "Xander: That's great! Really?", "Ampata: Really!", "Xander: That's great! You're not a praying mantis, are you? (gets a confused look from her) Sorry, someone else.", "Ampata: I will return to you. (starts away)", "Xander: Where're you going?", "Ampata: Where you cannot follow. He's confused but smiles when he sees her open the girls' restroom door.", "Xander: I'll wait outside. (smiles) He sits down on a bench to wait. Cut inside the restroom. Ampata touches up her lipstick. She steps back from the mirror and sees the bodyguard standing behind her.", "Ampata: I beg you... (turns to face him) Do not kill me.", "Bodyguard: You are already dead. For five hundred years.", "Ampata: But it was not fair. I was innocent.", "Bodyguard: The people you kill now so that you may live, they are innocent.", "Ampata: Please! I am in love!", "Bodyguard: You are the Chosen One. You must die. You have no choice. He takes a swing at her with his knife. She grabs his arm and twists, forcing him around and pulling him in to her. He looks up at her as she puts her arm around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.", "Ampata: Yes, I do. She kisses him and he mummifies in her arms as she draws out his life force. Cut to the hall. Xander is waiting patiently. Ampata comes back out smiling, and Xander stands up.", "Ampata: I have thought. The dance? Xander nods expectantly.", "Ampata: I will go with you. Xander breaks into a big smile and laughs delightedly.", "Ampata: Gladly! Xander takes her by the hand, and they start walking down the hall.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. Ampata comes in wearing her Inca Princess costume.", "Ampata: Buffy, I do not have any lipstick. She sees a trunk, a large suitcase and a backpack in the room.", "Buffy: Oh! You can borrow one of mine. There should be some on the desk.", "Ampata: What is that? (indicates the trunk)", "Buffy: The station sent the rest of your stuff.", "Ampata: Oh. Of, of course. I, I forgot all about it. Uh, I will unpack it later.", "Buffy: No worries. I can do it.", "Ampata: Uh, but... you must get ready for the dance!", "Buffy: I'm not going.", "Ampata: Why not?", "Buffy: I have work to do. Crime club work. It's really nothing for you to worry about. (sits on her bed)", "Ampata: Oh, I am not worried, thanks to Xander. (goes to the desk)", "Buffy: He seems very happy around you.", "Ampata: (sits at the desk) I am happy, too. She opens a lipstick and holds it up for an opinion.", "Ampata: Mm, this one?", "Buffy: Ooo, no, that clashes. There should be a gold one in there somewhere.", "Ampata: Thank you. You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago: the Inca Princess.", "Buffy: Cool! A princess. She gets up from her bed and opens Ampata's backpack while Ampata tries out a lipstick.", "Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Buffy pulls out a pair of boy's briefs and looks at them in confusion.", "Ampata: Out of all the girls in her generation... Buffy looks over at Ampata and sees she's about to open the top left drawer where she keeps her Slayer stuff. She rushes over. Ampata pulls open the drawer and looks in curiously.", "Ampata: ...she was the only one... Buffy quickly pushes the drawer closed.", "Buffy: ...chosen.", "Ampata: (looks up at Buffy) Do you know the story?", "Buffy: It's fairly familiar. (hands her the gold lipstick)", "Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others? What chance at love?", "Buffy: Who knows? (goes back to Ampata's trunk) I'll just unpack the rest of your stuff for you. (lifts the lid)", "Ampata: No, really, let me... The doorbell rings and distracts Buffy, so she doesn't see the mummified corpse in the trunk.", "Buffy: Oh! She lets the lid fall back down as she gets up to get the door.", "Buffy: That's Xander and Willow. I'll get it. Ampata kneels down and puts the lock back on the trunk. Cut downstairs. Buffy hops down and opens the door. Xander comes in dressed as Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western.", "Xander: I've come for the dance.", "Buffy: And, uh, what culture are you?", "Xander: I'm from the country of Leone. It's in Italy pretending to be Montana. (looks Buffy up and down) And where are you from? The country of White Trash?", "Buffy: Mm. New line-up. You and Willow are taking Ampata. Giles and I are hunting mummies. Where's you and Willow?", "Xander: She's not coming... with us.", "Buffy: Oh! On a date. Romance, lips... Xander takes off his hat when he sees Ampata appear on the stairs. She smiles down at him.", "Ampata: Hello, Xander.", "Xander: Hho hee ze thee ai uh...", "Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you're beautiful.", "Xander: (to Buffy) Hyav su.", "Buffy: You're welcome. Ampata reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands next to Xander, beaming a huge smile. Joyce comes in to have a look.", "Joyce: Ampata, don't you look wonderful! Oh, I wish you could talk my daughter into going with you.", "Ampata: I tried, but she is very stubborn.", "Joyce: Well, I'm glad someone else sees that. Buffy gives her mother a look and gets it right back. She turns back to Xander and Ampata, smiling.", "Ampata: Well, good night, then. Buffy opens the door to let them out. Xander pauses a moment.", "Xander: Be careful.", "Buffy: I will. (Xander turns to go) Hey! (he turns back) You look good. Xander gives her a smile and then leaves. Joyce comes over to the door to watch them go, too.", "Joyce: Look at that. Two days in America, and Ampata already seems like she belongs here. She's really fitting in. Hmm! (turns and heads up the stairs)", "Buffy: Yeah. How 'bout that?", "Cut to the Bronze. Devon and Oz's band Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) are playing \"Shadows\".", "Lyrics: She's in ecstasy / Her hollowed sky / Pours down heavenly / Fakes desire A group of girls enters the Bronze. Cordelia comes in behind them and stops to look around.", "Lyrics: I've been living here / In the red / I've been feeling I'm / Dead again She spots Willow wearing her Eskimo costume.", "Cordelia: Oh! Near faux pas! I almost wore the same thing. She continues on her way, leaving Willow standing there alone.", "Lyrics: We've been bored before Cordelia finds her friend Dawn.", "Cordelia: Hey!", "Dawn: Where's Sven?", "Cordelia: Ohhh, I keep trying to ditch him. He's like one of those dogs that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation? It follows you back across four states. (Sven finds them) See? My own speechless, human boomerang.", "Lyrics: I have never felt / So alone", "Dawn: He's kinda cute. Maybe it's nice skippin' all that small talk.", "Cordelia: Small talk? How 'bout simple instruction?", "Lyrics: Since the time we left ourselves / Half past gone", "Cordelia: (to Sven) Get punchy. (points at him) You! Fruit drinky!", "Lyrics: We've been living here / Up against the red", "Dawn: He can follow me. (takes Sven's hand and leads him away)", "Lyrics: I've been feeling I'm / Dead again / We've been bored before Xander and Ampata arrive. He takes her hand.", "Lyrics: We'll be bored again / We've been bored before and again Ampata looks around and sees Willow in her Eskimo outfit as Xander leads her to the dance floor. Willow is heartbroken to see them together like that.", "Willow: I think I should've worn something sexy. Xander spots her and leads Ampata over to her table.", "Willow: Wow. You guys look great.", "Ampata: I-I love your costume. It's, it's very authentic.", "Willow: Thanks.", "Xander: Yeah, you look, um... snug.", "Willow: That's what I was going for. Where's Buffy?", "Lyrics: She's in ecstasy / Her hollowed sky Willow looks around stiffly. She can hardly move in her outfit.", "Cut to the Summers house. Buffy opens the door for Giles.", "Giles: Thank heavens you're home. (walks in)", "Buffy: Yup! Not at the dance. Not with my friends. Not with a life. What are you doing here? I thought we were gonna meet at the museum to find the bodyguard.", "Giles: No, he's already been found. In a school restroom. Mummified.", "Buffy: Okay, I don't get it. Why would the mummy kill her own bodyguard?", "Giles: Well, I've cross-referenced, and, uh, I've looked at the pictograms anew. He was a guard alright. But it was his job to insure that the mummy didn't awaken and escape.", "Buffy: So, Ampata translated wrong.", "Giles: Perhaps.", "Buffy: Hold on a sec. She was wiggy about the seal from minute one.", "Giles: Yes, I suppose she was.", "Buffy: Her trunks! (runs up the stairs)", "Giles: I beg your pardon?", "Cut to Buffy's room. Giles goes through Ampata's things.", "Giles: It's certainly all boys' clothes. Why would a girl pack these? Buffy tears open the lock on the trunk and lifts the lid.", "Buffy: How 'bout this one? What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse? And doesn't even pack a lipstick?", "Cut to the Bronze. The band is playing a new song, \"Fate\".", "Lyrics: Time's healing, I'm ahead / Find a reason once again / Take a moment outta time / I'll be standing back behind", "Cut to Xander standing by the stairs with Ampata.", "Xander: Do you, um... Would you like to, uh... you know...", "Lyrics: On a wing / So outta line", "Ampata: I'd love to dance. He removes his hat and poncho, takes her hand and leads her onto the dance floor.", "Lyrics: Mm, taken in / So outta time Willow watches longingly as they walk by her. On the dance floor Xander and Ampata touch hands and slowly intertwine their fingers. Xander smiles at her. Ampata lets go of Xander's hand and slowly moves it around his neck. Cut to the stage. Oz notices a girl in the crowd and stares intently.", "Oz: Hey. Devon comes over to him.", "Oz: That girl. Who is she? Devon thinks he means Ampata.", "Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.", "Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo! Devon goes back to continue singing. Oz is enamored of Willow.", "Lyrics: Sound the season in my head", "Cut to Giles' car.", "Buffy: Come on! Can't you put your foot down?", "Giles: It is down.", "Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car. Giles grinds the gears. Buffy shakes her head.", "Cut to the dance floor. Xander is looking deeply into Ampata's eyes as they slow dance.", "Lyrics: ...so outta time / All it takes is living / I want to fly Ampata leans her head onto his cheek for a moment.", "Lyrics: I've never known fate She pulls her head back and looks back into Xander's eyes.", "Lyrics: I've never known your name They move in to kiss.", "Lyrics: I've never known fate As they are about to meet, Ampata notices her hand begin to mummify again and pulls back. Xander looks at her in wide-eyed confusion. The song is almost over. She quickly takes her arms off of his shoulders and rushes off. Xander stares after her, thoroughly confused.", "Xander: Okay, at least I can rule out something I said.", "Lyrics: Someone take me home / Get me outta here Ampata reaches the edge of the crowd and looks round. She sees Jonathon sitting alone on the stairs.", "Cut to Giles' car.", "Buffy: I should've guessed. Remember Ampata wanted us to hide the seal?", "Giles: And then she wanted us to destroy it becau... Oh wait!", "Buffy: Uh, waiting...", "Giles: Well, we already know that the seal was used to contain the mummy. If breaking it freed her...", "Buffy: ...reassembling it will trap her.", "Giles: I'll go to the museum. I'll drop you off. I'll try to piece together the fragments there.", "Buffy: Okay, I'll still get Xander. Before he gets smoochy with Mummy Dearest.", "Cut to the Bronze. Xander comes off of the dance floor and stops by Willow.", "Xander: Have you seen Ampata? (Willow shrugs) What was that?", "Willow: I shrugged.", "Xander: Next time you should probably say 'shrug'. (walks off looking)", "Willow: (watches him go) Sigh. Sven and Dawn walk by in front of her.", "Sven: I thought this exchange student thing would be a *great* deal. But look what I got stuck with! 'Momento!' 'Punchy fruity drinky!' Is Cordelia even from this country?", "Cut to a back room. Ampata has led Jonathon backstage. She takes off his hat and strokes his hair and cheek.", "Jonathon: Your hands feel kinda... rough. More of her skin is reverting to its mummy form. She moves in for a kiss.", "Jonathon: Aren't you with Xander?", "Ampata: (whispers) Does it look like I'm with Xander? They move in to kiss. Xander calls out, looking for her.", "Xander: Ampata! Jonathon pulls away from her and grabs his hat.", "Jonathon: That's my cue to leave. He runs from the room. She stands by the window, looking out. Xander finds her.", "Xander: There you are. Why'd you run away? She slowly turns to face him.", "Ampata: Because... I do not deserve you.", "Xander: What, you think that you don't deserve me? (laughs) Man, I love you! She sheds a few tears and looks up at him sorrowfully. His smile fades.", "Xander: Are those tears of joy? Pain? Revulsion? (comes closer)", "Ampata: (crying) I am very happy. And very sad.", "Xander: Then talk to me. Let me know what's wrong.", "Ampata: I can't! She hugs him and cries into his shoulder.", "Xander: Hey, I know why you can't tell me. (pushes her away to look at her) It's a secret, right? (she nods) And if you told me, you'd have to kill me. (smiles) She doesn't think it's funny, and hugs him again, crying even harder.", "Xander: Oh! That was a bad joke. And the delivery was off, too. I'm sorry. (pushes her away again) I, uh... He strokes her hair and face gently.", "Xander: I'm sorry. They kiss gently yet tentatively. She reaches her arm around his head and pulls him closer for a harder kiss. His eyes go wide with shock and surprise as he feels his life force begin to drain. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The back room at the Bronze. Xander's life force continues to drain. Suddenly Ampata breaks off the kiss, letting Xander fall to the floor.", "Ampata: No! I can't. Xander is drained of strength and takes quick, short breaths. She kneels down and pulls him around, laying his head in her lap.", "Ampata: Xander, I'm so sorry.", "Cut to the museum. Giles is reading from a book while assembling the seal.", "Giles: 'Incan Cosmology unites the bird head with its paler twin.' (looks around for the proper piece) Um... Oh! Here. Its paler twin. He tries the fit of the piece, and it's a match.", "Cut to the back room at the Bronze. Ampata senses something is wrong.", "Ampata: The seal! She lets Xander fall to the floor and runs out of the room.", "Cut to Willow. Buffy finds her.", "Buffy: Where's Xander?", "Willow: He's looking for Ampata.", "Buffy: We need to find him. Ampata's the mummy.", "Willow: Oh. (absorbs the information and smiles) Good. (realizes its implication) Xander!", "Buffy: Where'd they go?", "Willow: Backstage, I think. They rush off to find Xander just as Oz comes up to them.", "Oz: Hey, I... (watches them go in surprise, then smiles) Who is that girl?", "Cut to the hall backstage. They find Xander on the floor leaning against the wall.", "Buffy: Are you okay?", "Xander: (weakly) I think so. Boy, that was some kiss!", "Buffy: Where's Ampata?", "Xander: She said something about the seal.", "Buffy: The seal! Giles! C'mon. They help him up.", "Xander: What's goin' on?", "Willow: He doesn't know?", "Buffy: We'll tell him on the way.", "Cut to the museum. Giles is trying to put the last pieces of the seal together. Ampata sneaks a peek in from the exhibit entryway and sees him there. She quietly makes her way over to him.", "Giles: There, that's it. (sniffles) Just one more piece. Ampata reaches around his shoulder from behind and pulls him up. She takes the seal from his hand and throws it to the floor, smashing it to pieces. She grabs him by the neck and lifts him onto the rim of the stone coffin. Buffy arrives.", "Buffy: I'll say one thing for you Incan mummies. (Ampata looks at her) You don't kiss and tell. She makes a long, high leap onto the platform and adopts a fighting stance.", "Ampata: Looks like you've been keeping secrets from me! (shoves Giles into the coffin) You're not a normal girl.", "Buffy: And you are? She does a roundhouse kick to Ampata's face and another kick to her side. She throws a punch, but Ampata is strong, too, and catches Buffy's fist and swings her around onto the rim of the coffin. She grabs Buffy's neck and tries to choke her. Buffy headbutts Ampata, making her stagger back. She tries to kick but Ampata ducks it. Buffy lunges for her, and Ampata grabs her by the shoulder and diverts her into the coffin. She closes the stone lid on the two of them. Willow comes running in as Ampata starts to leave. She grabs Willow by the neck and picks her up.", "Ampata: This won't hurt! Willow begins to choke. Ampata moves in to kiss her.", "Xander: Let her go! (calmly walks in) If you're gonna kiss anybody, it should be me.", "Ampata: Xander, we can be together. (looks at Willow) Just... just let me have this one.", "Xander: That's never gonna happen.", "Ampata: I must do it. I must do it now! Or it is the end for me and for us! She tries to kiss Willow again, but Xander jumps in to stop her.", "Xander: NO! (pulls Willow away from her) You want life? You're gonna have to take mine. Can you do that? Ampata looks into his eyes as she considers. Her skin has mummified up to her neck.", "Ampata: Yes! She grabs his neck and tries to pull him to her as he holds her away by her arms. Buffy kicks at the lid of the coffin and gets it open. Xander keeps holding Ampata at bay and watches as she turns back into a mummy. Buffy comes up behind Ampata and pulls her off of Xander. His grip on her arms is so tight that they are torn from their sockets. Xander is freaked out and drops them. Buffy looks at Ampata's body and drops it, too. The head breaks off of the body as it hits the floor. Buffy is grossed out. Willow just stares at what's left, then looks at Xander and comes over to him. She crouches down next to him, holding his arm and rubbing his shoulder. He looks up at her a moment, then back down at his hands. Giles is out of the coffin now, and he and Buffy collect them to go. Giles looks back briefly as they leave the exhibit.", "Cut to school the next day. Buffy and Xander walk along the colonnade.", "Xander: (exhales) I'm really the Fun-Talking Guy today, huh? Sorry.", "Buffy: That's okay. You don't have to talk.", "Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone" ]

[ "Upset again at Angel, Buffy lies to Giles and goes to a frat party with Cordelia , where their dates drug them and chain them in the basement. The house brothers worship a snake demon and sacrifice girls to it annually in exchange for wealth and power. Giles, Angel, and Willow compare notes and meet up with Xander just in time to help Buffy break up the cabal." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Summers house at night. Cut to Xander in Buffy's room. Weird Hindi music and singing is coming from the TV.", "Xander: Is she dying? The camera pans past Willow over to Buffy. She and Xander are lying on the bed. Willow is sitting on the floor letting them braid her hair.", "Buffy: I think she's singing.", "Xander: To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment! The Hindi woman on TV dances around the room while singing into the phone.", "Xander: Why is she singing?", "Willow: She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole... fish thing. (takes a sip of her drink)", "Xander: Uh-huh. Why is she singing?", "Buffy: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.", "Willow: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.", "Xander: Hmm. And we thought just because we didn't have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.", "Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water. (smiles)", "Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.", "Buffy: I, for one, am giddy and up. There's a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I'm here with my friends... (tilts her head at the TV) So, how does the water buffalo fit in again? Xander shakes his head.", "Cut to the lawn in front of the Delta Zeta Kappa fraternity house. The camera pans along the grass and then up to the house.", "Cut to the balcony. A girl crashes through the glass door. She rolls over the balcony railing and doesn't hesitate to drop to the ground below. A fraternity brother in a dark hooded robe rushes out onto the balcony after her. When he sees that she jumped he quickly goes back inside.", "Cut to the girl on the ground now. She gets up, apparently not hurt in the fall, and begins to run as fast as she can. Five brothers, all wearing robes, come streaming out of the house after her. She runs into the trees, looks around for which way to go and makes tracks for the wall to the north. Just as she reaches it she trips and falls, but quickly gets up, climbs a low tree branch and jumps over to the wall. She shimmies over the top and drops down the other side into the cemetery. The fraternity brothers follow her over the wall one by one. She runs through the cemetery for all she's worth as the boys give chase. One of the brothers is waiting ahead of her, and she runs into him and screams.", "Richard: Callie! Callie, where're you going? The party's just getting started. She sobs uncontrollably as he shoves her over to the others, and they take her away. He has a look around to make sure no one saw, pulls his hood over his head and follows them back to the house. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. Cut to the hall. Cordelia is demonstrating her fake laugh to another girl.", "Cordelia: (fake laughter) See? Dr. Debi says when a man is speaking you make serious eye contact, and you really, really listen, and you laugh at everything he says. (laughs again)", "Cut to the stairs. Willow and Buffy come down and head down the hall.", "Willow: You dreamed about Angel again?", "Buffy: Third night in a row.", "Willow: What did he do in the dream?", "Buffy: Stuff.", "Willow: (smiles wide) Oh! Stuff! (Buffy smiles) Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?", "Buffy: It had surroundsound. I'm just thinking about him so much lately.", "Willow: You two are so right for each other. Except for the, uh...", "Buffy: Vampire thing.", "Willow: That doesn't make him a bad person. Necessarily.", "Buffy: I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him.", "Willow: Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. Xander comes out of a classroom, sees them and hurries to catch up.", "Willow: It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but...", "Xander: What's like a relationship?", "Buffy: Nothing I have. Coffee?", "Xander: Huh? He stops by Cordelia as Willow and Buffy get a drink at the fountain.", "Cordelia: (to the girl) There's really no comparison between college men and high school boys. (looks up at Xander) I mean, look at that.", "Xander: So, Cor, you're datin' college guys now.", "Cordelia: Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa.", "Xander: Oh! An extra-terrestrial. So that's how you get a date after you exhausted all the human guys.", "Cordelia: You'll go to college someday, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places. Xander has no comeback for that, and joins the girls at the drinking fountain. Buffy and Willow have smiles on their faces from overhearing. The bell rings.", "Buffy: (remembering) Oh! I told Giles I'd meet him in the library ten minutes ago! Aw, he won't be upset. There hasn't been much paranormal activity lately. She heads for the library.", "Cut to the library. Giles paces while he lectures her.", "Giles: Just because the paranormal is more normal and less... para of late is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down.", "Buffy: I haven't let my guard down.", "Giles: Oh, really? You yawned your way through weapons training last week, you, you, you, you skipped hand-to-hand entirely... Are you gonna be prepared if a demon springs up behind you and does this? He swings his arm over her shoulder from behind, but she grabs it and pulls it behind his back, forcing him to bend over and wince in pain. She has a bored look on her face.", "Giles: (in pain) Yeah, well, I'm, I'm not a demon. Which is why you should let go now. She lets him go.", "Giles: (quietly) Thank you. He straightens up and rubs his wrist.", "Giles: When you live on top of a... a mystical convergence it's only a matter of time before a fresh hell breaks loose. Now is the time that you should train more strictly, you should hunt and patrol more keenly, you should hone your skills day and night.", "Buffy: And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from, I don't know, seven to seven-oh-five in the morning, can I do what I want then?", "Giles: Buffy, you think I don't know what it's like to be sixteen?", "Buffy: No. I think you *don't* know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.", "Giles: Fair enough, no, no, I-I don't.", "Buffy: Or what it's like to have to stake vampires while you're having fuzzy feelings towards one?", "Giles: Uh...", "Buffy: Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life.", "Giles: That's exactly where, where being... different, uh, comes in handy.", "Buffy: Right! Who needs a social life when you've got your very own Hellmouth?", "Giles: Yes! Y-you, you, you have a duty, a-a-a purpose, y-y-you have a commitment in life. Now how many people your age can say that?", "Buffy: We talkin' foreign or domestic? How 'bout none?", "Giles: (he's had enough) Well, here's a hard fact of life: we all have to do things we don't like! And you have hand-to-hand this afternoon and patrol tonight. So I, I suggest you come straight here at the end of, of period six a-and you get your homework done. And don't dawdle with your friends. (Buffy pouts) And, and don't think sitting there pouting is gonna get to me, because it won't. She gives him her best pouty look.", "Giles: (looks away) It's not getting to me.", "Cut to the front of the building after school. Buffy is sitting on the railing of the stairs to the street. Xander and Willow are walking toward her.", "Xander: Boy, what a long day.", "Willow: And you skipped three classes.", "Xander: Yeah, and, of course, *they* flew by. (they reach Buffy) Buffy!", "Willow: Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework in the library?", "Buffy: I'm dawdling (takes Xander's arm) with my friends. Cordelia comes walking by and bumps into Willow. She continues down the stairs without so much as an acknowledgment.", "Xander: Works for me. A black BMW pulls up to the curb. The windows are all darkly tinted.", "Buffy: (to Willow) You okay?", "Willow: Jeez. They all watch Cordelia. Cut to her reflection in the car window. She pushes her sunglasses on top of her head as the driver's window lowers.", "Richard: Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Hi, Richard. Nice car. Tom in the passenger's seat notices Buffy sitting on the railing and points her out to Richard.", "Richard: So, uh, we're having a little get-together tomorrow night at the house, and it's gonna be a really special evening. Cordelia does her fake laugh. Richard and Tom don't get it.", "Richard: Excuse me?", "Cordelia: Oh! I would, I would love, *love* to go!", "Richard: So, who's your friend? (indicates Buffy)", "Cordelia: (looks) Her? Oh, she's not my friend.", "Tom: She's amazing!", "Cordelia: She's more like a sister, really! We're that close.", "Richard: Well, why don't you introduce us?", "Cordelia: (realizes she's trapped herself) Okay. (goes to get Buffy)", "Cut to Buffy, Xander and Willow.", "Xander: Okay, so tonight, channel fifty-nine, Indian TV, s*x, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts.", "Cordelia: (reaches for Buffy's hand) Come on. Richard and his fraternity brother wanna meet you.", "Buffy: Well, I don't really wanna meet any fraternity boys.", "Cordelia: (pulls her) And if there was a God, don't you think he'd keep it that way? Willow and Xander watch as Cordelia drags Buffy away.", "Xander: Uh, I-I believe we were dawdling here! Cordelia brings Buffy up to Richard.", "Richard: Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard. And you are?", "Buffy: *So* not interested. (tries to leave)", "Cordelia: (grabs Buffy's hand) Heh, she's such a little comedienne.", "Richard: What, she likes to play hard to get?", "Tom: No, Richard. I think you're playing easy to resist. Buffy starts to leave again. Tom paces her.", "Tom: Ah, feel free to ignore him. I do all the time. (she stops) I'm Tom Warner. I'm a senior at Crestwood College, and I... and I just feel like a complete dolt meeting you this way, so... (crosses his arms) here I stand in all my doltishness. Willow and Xander are within earshot of Tom and Buffy and overhear the conversation.", "Xander: Huh-huh-huh, right. Like she's gonna fall for that.", "Buffy: I'm Buffy Summers.", "Tom: Oh, nice to meet you. Are you a senior here?", "Buffy: Junior.", "Tom: Oh, me, too. Except that I'm a senior and I'm in college. So we have that in common, and... I major in history.", "Buffy: Mm. History stumps me. I have a hard enough time remembering what happened last week.", "Tom: No, nothin' happened last week, don't worry, I was there.", "Xander: She's gonna walk away. (pauses) Now.", "Tom: So, uh, my friend invited your friend to a party we're having this weekend. Cordelia does her fake laugh loudly for Richard.", "Tom: You know, actually he's not even really my friend. I only joined the fraternity because my father and grandpa were in it before me. Y'know, it meant a lot to them.", "Xander: Okay, boots, start a-walking.", "Tom: Oh, I know, I talk too much anyway. They're really dull parties full of really dull people, so... would you like to come and save me from a really dull fate?", "Buffy: Oh, I wish I could, but I'm sort of involved.", "Tom: Well, sure, of course you are. Well, thanks for letting me ramble.", "Buffy: Y'know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble. Giles spots her talking to Tom and calls out to her.", "Giles: Buffy! She turns to look and sees him pointing at his watch and walk off to the library.", "Buffy: Oh, I gotta go. (turns to go but stops and smiles) It was nice to meet you.", "Tom: Oh. Same here. Buffy hops up the stairs. Xander hands her bag to her, and she runs off to the library. Tom watches her go.", "Xander: I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?", "Willow: Yeah, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I'm hating.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the cage holding a sword in one hand and a stick in the other.", "Giles: I'm going to attack you. A word of warning: for your own good, I won't be pulling any punches. (adopts a fighting stance)", "Buffy: Please don't. She kicks the sword out of his left hand. He looks at her a bit dismayed, but quickly swings the stick at her. She sidesteps him, and the end of the stick hits the floor. She pins his arm down and stomps on the stick, breaking it. He tries to lunge at her, but she sidesteps again, and he runs into the table and slides across the top.", "Giles: Good. So, um, you're on patrol and, uh, I'll see you in the morning.", "Cut to the cemetery at night. Buffy strolls through, keeping a careful watch. She spots a bracelet on the ground and bends down to pick it up. Angel suddenly appears behind her.", "Angel: There's blood on it.", "Buffy: (gets up startled and faces him) Hi. It's nice to... Blood?", "Angel: I can smell it.", "Buffy: Oh. (looks at the bracelet) It's pretty thin. It probably belonged to a girl.", "Angel: Probably.", "Buffy: (exhales) I-I was... just thinking, wouldn't it be funny some time to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing. (smiles briefly) Not funny ha, ha.", "Angel: What are you sayin', you wanna have a date?", "Buffy: No.", "Angel: You don't wanna have a date?", "Buffy: Who said 'date'? I-I-I never said 'date'.", "Angel: Right. You just wanna have coffee or somethin'.", "Buffy: (hopefully) Coffee?", "Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.", "Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?", "Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one.", "Buffy: I've done the math.", "Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want...", "Buffy: Oh. No, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.", "(starts to walk past him)", "Angel: (bumps into her) Listen, if we date you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.", "Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?", "Angel: I'm just tryin' to protect you. This could get outta control.", "Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?", "He grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her closer. She draws a startled breath.", "Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.", "Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die. She pulls herself free and runs off.", "Cut to school the next morning. Cut to a classroom. Class is over and the students are leaving. Buffy slowly gets up from her desk and gathers her things. Cordelia comes into the room.", "Cordelia: Buffy! Did you lose weight? And your hair... Alright, I respect you too much to be dishonest. The hair's a little... (smiles widely) Well, that really isn't the point here, is it? The Zeta Kappas have to have a certain balance at their party, and Richard explained it all to me, but I was so busy really listening that I didn't hear much. Anyway, the deal is they need you to go. And if you don't go, I can't. And I'm talking about Richard Anderson, okay? As in Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics (becomes emotional) and Anderson Cosmetics. (sobs) Well, you see why I *have* to go. Buffy, these men are rich. And I am *not* being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!", "Buffy: (off in her own world) I'll go.", "Cordelia: (surprised) You'll go? (huge smile) Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair. She turns to leave and can't believe she just said what she did. Buffy can't believe it either.", "Cut to the fraternity house basement. A pledge is taking the oath of brotherhood.", "Richard: I pledge my life and my death...", "Pledge: I pledge my life and my death...", "Richard: To the Delta Zeta Kappas, and to Machida whom we serve...", "Pledge: To the Delta Zeta Kappas, and to Machida whom we serve...", "Richard: On my oath before my assembled brethren... He starts to carve a symbol into the pledge's chest with the tip of a sword.", "Pledge: (ignores the pain) On my oath before my assembled brethren...", "Richard: I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death.", "Pledge: I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death. Richard is finished carving and lowers the sword.", "Richard: In blood I was baptized. In blood I shall reign. In his name.", "Pledge: In blood I was baptized, and in blood I shall reign. In his name.", "Richard: You are now one of us.", "Pledge: In his name!", "Brothers: In his name. Richard puts the sword aside and shakes the pledge's hand.", "Richard: Brewski time! A brother tosses him a beer. As he opens it he walks over to Callie, who is shackled to the wall.", "Richard: So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?", "Callie: (begs) Let me go.", "Richard: Let you go? Okay, let me think. Um, no! (laughs) God, I love high school girls. Mm! He walks off to join the party. Callie lowers her head and weeps. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The lounge. Willow gathers her things to go to class.", "Willow: You're going to the fraternity party? What made you change your mind?", "Buffy: Angel.", "Willow: He's going with you? (to Xander) She's got a date with Angel! Isn't that exciting?", "Xander: I'm elated. (gets up from the couch)", "Buffy: I-I'm not going with Angel. I'm going with -- ye gods -- Cordelia. (starts out of the lounge)", "Willow: Cordelia?! (to Xander) Did I sound a little jealous just then, 'cause I'm not really... (runs after Buffy) Cordelia?!", "Xander: Cordelia's much better for you than Angel. (hurries after them)", "Willow: (catches up) What happened with Angel?", "Buffy: Nothing, as usual. A whole lotta nothing with Angel.", "Xander: Bummer. They head down the hall.", "Willow: I don't understand. I mean, he likes you. More than likes.", "Buffy: Angel barely says two words to me.", "Xander: Don't you hate that?", "Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.", "Xander: That b*st*rd!", "Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.", "Xander: Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?", "Willow: The frat guy.", "Xander: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office carrying a sword behind his back and looks around. Seeing there's no one there he starts practicing a few thrusts to his front and back. He spins around and thrusts again.", "Giles: Will you be ready if a vampire's behind you? He thrusts the sword behind him, pretending he just jabbed one. He raises the sword above his head to stab his pretend fallen victim. Buffy, Willow and Xander come in through the door and see him. He hears the door and looks back. When he sees it's them he tries to make like nothing's going on.", "Giles: I didn't see you three... creeping about. He tosses the sword through the open cage door and kicks the door shut.", "Giles: Um, how did it go last night?", "Buffy: Found this. (gives him the bracelet)", "Giles: (reads the inscription) E-N-T.", "Willow: I've seen something like that before.", "Buffy: It's broken in two. I don't know what the rest of the letters might have spelled. And there's blood on it.", "Giles: Uh, I didn't see any.", "Buffy: Angel showed up. He could smell it.", "Xander: The blood? There's a guy you wanna party with.", "Giles: Blood.", "Willow: In Sunnydale. What a surprise.", "Xander: Okay, here's what we're gonna do: she should probably make the rounds again tonight, and we should try to figure out who that bracelet belongs to.", "Giles: Yes, good idea, yes. She'll patrol, and, and we'll reconvene...", "Buffy: (interrupting) Uh, hello? She's standing right here? And she's not available.", "Giles: Why not?", "Xander: Buffy, this is a little more important than...", "Buffy: I've got a mountain of homework to do, and, um... my mom's not really feeling well, and she could probably use my help, and, um, to be truthful I'm not really feeling all that well myself. Willow can't believe what she's hearing and stares at Buffy.", "Giles: Oh, w-w-well, um, sorry, of course. If-if-if you're not well.", "Buffy: Oh, I'll take an early pass this evening, and, um, one later on, but for the bulk of the evening...", "Giles: Oh, you should stay home with your mother.", "Cut to the halls. The three of them come out of the library. Xander gives Buffy a stern look.", "Buffy: Well, say it.", "Xander: I'm not gonna say it.", "Willow: You lied to Giles.", "Xander: 'Cause she will.", "Buffy: Look, I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.", "Xander: Like a corn dog.", "Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.", "Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?", "Buffy: There's no orgies!", "Willow: I heard a lot of wild things go on at frat parties.", "Buffy: Okay, you know what? Look, seven days a week I am busy saving the world. Once in a great while I wanna have some fun. And that's what I'm gonna have tonight. Fun!", "Cut to later in the lounge. Buffy and Cordelia are sitting at a table.", "Cordelia: This isn't about fun. This is about duty, your duty, to help me achieve permanent prosperity. Okay? Do's and dont's: don't wear black, silk, chiffon or spandex. These are my trademarks. And don't do that weird thing with your hair.", "Buffy: What weird thing with my...", "Cordelia: Don't interrupt. Do be interested if someone should speak to you. It may or may not happen, but do be polite. And laugh at the appropriate intervals. (demonstrates) Do lie to your mom about where we're going. It's a fraternity, and there will be drinking. Xander and Willow come over to the table. Xander is munching on a power bar. Willow has a Coke.", "Xander: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?", "Cordelia: Oh, are we feeling a little envious? You could belong to a fraternity of rich and powerful men. In the Bizarro world. Xander has no comeback again.", "Buffy: Do you guys wanna join us?", "Xander: Nah, I gotta... digest and all. He and Willow go up to the couches and sit down.", "Cordelia: Makeup, makeup... Well, give it your all, and keep to the shadows. We're gonna have a blast! (smiles) Buffy lets her head fall to the table. Cut to Xander and Willow on the couch.", "Willow: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.", "Xander: Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... That's not askew, that's cockeyed.", "Willow: Askew means cockeyed.", "Xander: Oh. He grabs her Coke and takes a swig. She grabs his bar and breaks off a piece.", "Willow: Well, there's nothing we can do about it. We'll help Giles.", "Xander: I'm goin' to the party.", "Willow: What?", "Xander: I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.", "Willow: You wanna protect her?", "Xander: Mm-hm.", "Willow: And prove that you're just as good as those rich, snotty guys?", "Xander: Mm-hm.", "Willow: Maybe catch an orgy?", "Xander: If it's on early. Willow nods her head and pops the piece of power bar into her mouth. Xander takes another swig of her Coke.", "Cut to the street in front of the fraternity house that night. Cordelia comes screeching in to park and smacks the car in front of her. Cut inside the car.", "Cordelia: Ohh! Why do they park so darn close to you? Are you ready for this? (checks her hair)", "Buffy: I dunno. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.", "Cordelia: Me, too. Let's go! She gets out of the car and closes the door.", "Cordelia: C'mon! Cut inside the fraternity house. Two girls come in through the door and walk through the room. A couple of fraternity brothers watch them walk by.", "Tackle: Beaucoup babes!", "Linebacker: Ooo, yeah! The camera slowly pans across the room to Buffy and Cordelia.", "Cordelia: You know what's so cool about college? The diversity. You've got all the rich people, and all the other people. (spots Richard) Richard!", "Richard: Welcome, ladies. (hands them drinks)", "Cordelia: Thank you.", "Buffy: Oh, i-is there alcohol in this?", "Richard: Just a smidge.", "Cordelia: C'mon, Buffy, it's just a smidge.", "Buffy: I'll just... (sets the drink down)", "Richard: I understand. When I was your age I wasn't into grownup things either. Have you seen our multi-media room?", "Cordelia: Oh, the one with the cherry walnut paneling and the two forty-eight-inch televisions on satellite feed? No. Wanna show me?", "(smiles)", "Richard: What about...", "Cordelia: Oh, her? She's happiest by herself.", "They go off and leave Buffy standing there by herself.", "Cut to a side window. Xander pokes his head in, looks around and climbs in. \"Wolves\", by Shawn K. Clement and Sean W. Murray, plays on the stereo.", "Lyrics: Her name is Alexandra / She walks into the room He loses his balance and falls through the window onto the floor.", "Lyrics: All the eyes, eyes, are upon her He hops back up and takes a drink from a tray that's being passed around by a half-naked pledge.", "Xander: Cheers!", "Lyrics: Well the girl / I think she's got her hungry eyes on you Xander walks into the room and has a look around.", "Lyrics: Yeah, on you, you He looks at a girl as she walks by. He continues through the room.", "Lyrics: She says she runs with the wolves He comes into the next room, but doesn't notice Buffy behind him. She's looking the other way and doesn't see him either. He looks at another girl passing by, but is distracted by a tray of hors-d'oeuvres being carried around by another pledge in drag. He reaches for the tray and follows it away.", "Lyrics: She thinks she runs with the wolves Buffy turns around. She's bored and lonely and fidgets with her hands. She looks down at her drink and picks it up again.", "Lyrics: Love is in the air She stirs it idly for a moment, then realizes she really doesn't want it and puts it back down. She looks around the room at the people dancing. A new song starts, \"She\", by Louie Says.", "Lyrics: Bend and I'll break you The dance crowd separates for a moment and a handsome Young Man on the other side of the room looks at her. He raises his drink to her. Tackle and Linebacker are standing behind him, watching.", "Lyrics: Leave and I'll take you back again She notices him, picks up her drink again and raises it to him. She takes a small sip as he raises his drink for a sip also. Tackle is drunk. He notices Buffy and starts to stagger toward her.", "Tackle: New girl! He grabs the Young Man for balance and pulls him away before he even gets his drink to his lips.", "Young Man: Easy, man!", "Tackle: Dance!", "Lyrics: So bend and I'll break you Buffy looks up from putting her drink back down and stares at him in wide-eyed surprise when she sees him coming for her.", "Tackle: (laughs and staggers over to her) C'mon, sweetheart, ha, ha, yeah!", "Lyrics: Leave and I'll take you back again Tom appears in the nick of time and takes her arm.", "Tom: Can I have this dance?", "Tackle: C'mon! Tom pulls her away to the dance area just as Tackle is about to crash into her. He looks up surprised at her disappearance. He sees another girl walk by and follows her instead.", "Lyrics: If she bends, then she breaks", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Lyrics: She loves you, but then she takes it away", "Tom: No. We're not all a bunch of drunken louts. Some of us are sober louts.", "Lyrics: She bends and she bows", "Tom: I'm really glad that you decided to come.", "Lyrics: She's cold, but she melts like snow Buffy looks down.", "Tom: And you're not.", "Buffy: No, it's... I shouldn't be here.", "Lyrics: Bend and I'll break you", "Tom: Because you're seeing someone.", "Buffy: No.", "Tom: You're not seeing someone?", "Lyrics: Sleep and I'll wake you tonight", "Buffy: Someone's not seeing me.", "Tom: So, why shouldn't you be here?", "Lyrics: Hey, don't you want to understand / Understand that", "Buffy: Because I have obligations. People that I'm responsible for, or to, or... (Tom laughs and so does she) with, or... It's complicated.", "Lyrics: If she bends, then she breaks", "Tom: You're big on responsibility. I like that. But there's such a thing as being too mature.", "Lyrics: She loves you, but then she takes it away", "Tom: You should relax. Enjoy yourself once in a while.", "Lyrics: She bends and she bows", "Buffy: You think I'm too mature?", "Tom: (chuckles) I talk too much. Have you picked up on that yet?", "Lyrics: She's cold, but she melts like snow", "Tom: Anyway, the, uh, the Hulk is gone, so you don't have to dance with me.", "Lyrics: She bends, she breaks", "Buffy: He might come back.", "Lyrics: She hates you, but then she makes a mistake She continues dancing with Tom. Cut to Xander talking to two girls. Another hors-d'oeuvre tray passes by, and he grabs another one.", "Lyrics: Confused and a lot to take / And where to fall out and when", "Xander: (playing with his hors-d'oeuvres) Godzilla's attacking downtown Tokyo! Argh! Argh! Richard is watching Xander. Tackle and Linebacker join him.", "Lyrics: Hey, yes", "Tackle: Who's this dork?", "Lyrics: She won't be good to you", "Richard: Never seen him before in my life.", "Lyrics: And I hate the way that I am", "Linebacker: We got us a crasher! The three of them come up to Xander.", "Lyrics: I hate the way I am", "Xander: (to the girls) So, have either of you seen a pair of girls here? One's about so high... (notices the guys) Hey, guys!", "Tackle: New pledge.", "Linebacker: New pledge!", "Tackle: (grabs Xander and yells) New pledge!", "Together: (dragging him off) New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! Cut outside to the patio. Buffy strolls out of the house alone. It's chilly, and she rubs her arms a bit and crosses them. She steps on a piece of glass and looks down. There are several small pieces there and she crouches to pick one up. She looks up above her and notices the door to the balcony has been boarded up. Tom is outside now, too, and notices her as she stands back up.", "Tom: You okay?", "Buffy: (drops the piece of glass and exhales) Yeah. I was... just thinking. Richard finds them there, too, and hands them both drinks.", "Richard: To my Argentinean junk bonds that just matured into double digits!", "Tom: Uh, to maturity.", "Buffy: What the hell. I'm tired of being mature. She gulps the drink. The two boys raise their eyebrows and drink theirs also.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Giles are playing word games, trying to figure out what the word on the bracelet might be. Willow types the words as they think of them.", "Willow: Bent.", "Giles: Sent.", "Willow: Rent.", "Giles: Uh, Lent. Dent.", "Willow: Went. Kent. Kent! That's it!", "Giles: Her boyfriend's name was Kent?", "Willow: No! Kent Preparatory School. Just outside of town. That's where I've seen these bracelets.", "Giles: Wh-what are you doing?", "Willow: Pulling up their school newsletter for the past few months. See if there's anything about...", "Giles: A missing girl. The most recent issue of the newsletter has a picture of Callie on the front page. The title of the article reads 'Callie Our Hearts & Prayers Are With You'.", "Cut to the fraternity house. Xander is being hazed. Linebacker grabs his cheeks to pucker his lips and smears lipstick on them. Everyone is laughing hysterically. \"Bring Me On\", by Act of Faith, is playing on the sound system.", "Lyrics: Say what you say when you say what you've gotta say / Do you fear what you hear are you gonna fear / Do you know what you know when you gotta know / No, No, No", "Tackle: C'mon, dance, pretty boy! The camera pulls back from Xander's face. They've put a skirt and a huge bra on him. He does his usual lame dancing while the party guests cheer him on.", "Tackle: Keep it movin'! (laughs) C'mon! Shake it, don't break it! Wrap it up and I'll take it!", "Xander: (nervous) Okay, big fun guys. Uhhh, who's next? Tackle puts a blonde wig on his head.", "Tackle: You are, doll face! Keep on dancin'! Ah, alright!", "Cut to Buffy at the front door. She's woozy from the drink and steadies herself against the wall.", "Tackle: Oh! Keep it up! Yes! C'mon! Keep it goin'! Ah, ha! Buffy makes her way over to the stairs. She knocks down a drink, but can't react fast enough to catch it. She looks up at the commotion in the next room.", "Buffy: Tom? Through hazy eyes and a wobbly head she sees Xander dancing with his back to her. Slowly she starts to make her way up the stairs to find a place to rest. In the other room Tackle and Linebacker continue to goad Xander on. Cut upstairs to a bedroom. Buffy pushes open the door, comes in and bumps into a sculpture.", "Buffy: Ooo! Ooo, sorry... She steadies herself and heads for the bed.", "Buffy: Okay. (crawls onto the bed) Nice bed. Just need to stop spinning for at least... She lies down and falls asleep. Richard shows up at the door. He pushes it open and peeks in. He comes in when he sees Buffy asleep on the bed. He rolls her over onto her back and smiles as he brushes his hand along her neck. He's suddenly pulled away from her and shoved against the wall.", "Tom: Get away from her!", "Richard: I wasn't doing anything!", "Tom: I saw what you were doing.", "Richard: I was just having a little fun.", "Tom: Well, she's not here for your fun, you pervert. She's here for the pleasure of the one we serve.", "Richard: (ashamed) In his name.", "Tom: And that goes for the other one, too. The camera pans from Tom down to Buffy on the bed and continues to Cordelia on the floor.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles picks up the printout of the Newsletter's front page.", "Giles: Callie Megan Anderson. Missing for over a week. No one's seen her, no one knows what happened to her.", "Willow: This being Sunnydale and all I guess we can rule out something good.", "Giles: I'm calling Buffy.", "Willow: No!", "Giles: Why not?", "Willow: (nervous) Because Buffy... a-a-and her mother...", "Giles: Are sick. No, you're quite right. No, there's no point in disturbing them until we know more. Willow turns her attention back to the PC. Some more information comes up.", "Willow: You mean, like, if there're others? Brittany Oswald, junior at St. Michael's, disappeared a year ago. So did Kelly Percell, sophomore at Grant.", "Giles: A year.", "Willow: Almost to the day.", "Giles: An anniversary or perhaps some other event significant to the killer.", "Willow: Killer? Now there's a killer? We don't know that there's a...", "Giles: No, but this being Sunnydale and all.", "Willow: Gulp.", "Giles: (exhales) We need to know where Buffy found that bracelet, and then we can begin our search there. (reaches for the phone)", "Willow: Good idea. Call Angel. (gets a confused look from Giles) Uh, he was there when Buffy found it. We're gonna need all the help we can get. Giles agrees with her logic.", "Cut to the fraternity house front door. The party is over. Tackle shoves Xander out of the house. Linebacker throws him his clothes.", "Linebacker: Party's over, jerkwater.", "Xander: Wait, a friend of mine was here.", "Tackle: Y'know, in that light, with that wig on and all... you're still butt-ugly! They laugh and close the door in Xander's face. He drops his clothes, pulls off the wig, and throws it down. He undoes the bra, takes it off and throws it down, too.", "Cut to the basement. Richard takes a sword and walks behind a kneeling Tom. Tom has a series of symbols carved onto his chest. Richard begins to carve another one on Tom's back. The camera pans over to the three girls shackled to the wall.", "Cordelia: Buffy? Where are we?", "Buffy: In the basement, far as I can tell.", "Cordelia: What's happening? What did they do to us?", "Buffy: They drugged us.", "Cordelia: Why? What are they gonna do to us?", "Buffy: I don't know.", "Cordelia: (whines) I wanna go home.", "Callie: No one's going home. Ever. Look, one of them's different than the others. (looks at Tom) Nicer.", "Buffy: (whispers) Tom. Richard is finished carving Tom's new symbol. He gets up and turns to the girls. Two brothers help him on with his robe.", "Callie: He's the one to watch out for. Buffy shakes her chain a bit and looks up where it's anchored. Tom looks at her.", "Tom: She's last.", "Cordelia: Last? For what? Tom walks over to the well and picks up a bag.", "Cordelia: Who's first?! Answer me! Who's first?! Tom lets three stones drop out of the bag and into his hand.", "Buffy: Three stones. (looks at Cordelia and Callie) Three of us.", "Cordelia: (beginning to panic) Buffy...", "Buffy: Stay calm. We'll get outta this. Tom pours water over the stones.", "Cordelia: Why'd I ever let you talk me into coming here? Buffy can't believe her ears. Tom is done with his stone-cleansing ritual and faces the girls. He stares at Buffy.", "Cut to the library.", "Angel: She found the bracelet in the cemetery. Near the south wall.", "Giles: South wall. Willow stares at the window in fascination. Angel casts no reflection in it.", "Giles: (to Willow) What are you doing?", "Willow: Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave? (the men exchange a look) South wall. That's near the college and... the fraternity house!", "Giles: A fraternity? Willow nods nervously.", "Angel: Could they be taking these girls? (Willow nods again) Let's get out there! Giles and Angel start to go. Willow holds back.", "Willow: Buffy!", "Giles: Wwwe don't know that it's concrete. Uh, let's not disturb her until...", "Willow: Is there! With Cordelia. They went to a party at the Zeta Kappa house.", "Giles: She lied to me?", "Willow: (nervous) Well...", "Angel: Did... she have a date?", "Willow: Well... (Angel huffs) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?! Angel and Giles are speechless.", "Willow: Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy. She hurries out of the library. Giles and Angel follow shortly behind.", "Cut to the street in front of the fraternity house. Xander walks past a few cars. He's still wearing the skirt and carries his clothes in a bundle.", "Xander: One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day they'll still have more. He walks past Cordelia's car, and it looks familiar to him. He checks the license plate and it reads 'QUEEN C'. It's Cordelia's car, alright. He looks back up at the house a moment, and then makes his way back to it.", "Cut to the basement. The ritual is continuing. Tom is standing on the basement stairs holding the sword.", "Tom: Machida. (starts down)", "Brothers: In his name.", "Tom: We who serve you, we who receive all that you bestow, call upon you in this holy hour.", "Brothers: In this holy hour. He turns to walk toward Richard, holding the sword horizontally in both hands.", "Tom: We have no wealth, no possession... except that which you give us.", "Brothers: Except that which you give us. He places the sword on Richard's arms.", "Tom: We have no power, no place in the world... except that which you give us.", "Brothers: Except that which you give us. Richard hugs the sword to his chest, crossing his hands over his heart.", "Cordelia: What are they, some kind of cult or something?", "Buffy: Yeah, a psycho cult.", "Cordelia: You've gotta do something.", "Tom: It's been a year since our last offering. Richard lowers the sword and rests the tip on the floor.", "Tom: A year in which our bounty overflowed. We come before you with fresh offerings.", "Cordelia: Offerings? He's talking about us?", "Callie: Do you see anyone else chained up in here?", "Tom: Accept our offering, Dark Lord, and bless us with your power. Machida!", "Brothers: Machida! Tom tosses the stones into the well at the center of the basement one at a time.", "Cordelia: (frightened) What's down there?", "Tom: Come forth, and let your terrible countenance look upon your servants, and their humble offering. We call you, Machida.", "Brothers: In his name. Machida.", "Cordelia: There's something down there and he's gonna throw us down there with it.", "Buffy: I don't think so.", "Cordelia: No? Well, that's good! That, that's...", "Buffy: I don't think we go to it. I think it comes to us.", "Cordelia: (terrified) Ooohhhhhhh! No! Tom looks up, awaiting Machida's arrival. The camera closes in on the well, and suddenly Machida rises out of it.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! (screams) It's a half-man, half-snake, green and scaly. He growls as he looks at the girls. Cordelia keeps screaming at the top of her lungs. Buffy stares at Machida in wide-eyed horror. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The basement. Buffy tries to yank her chains from the ceiling.", "Cordelia: C'mon, Buffy! Oh, my God! Oh, c'mon! Oh! Machida remains stationary and spreads his arms.", "Tom: For he shall rise from the depths, and we shall tremble before him. The camera pans down and over to Tom.", "Tom: He who is the source of all we inherit and all we possess. Machida.", "Brothers: Machida.", "Tom: And if he is pleased with our offerings, then our fortune shall increase.", "Brothers: Machida. Let our fortunes increase.", "Tom: And on the tenth day of the tenth month he shall be enhungered. And we shall feed him. Machida gazes over at the girls.", "Cordelia: Feed him? Machida rises before her.", "Cordelia: Feed him?! Buffy renews her efforts to break the chains from the ceiling.", "Cordelia: Oh, no! Cut outside. Angel, Willow and Giles walk through the bushes from the street to the lawn.", "Willow: Looks like everyone's gone. They look up at the house as a robed figure comes up behind them. The figure steps on some foliage, and Angel instantly spins around to confront him.", "Angel: Hey!", "Xander: Hey! (lifts the hood from his eyes) What are you guys doing here?", "Willow: A bunch of girls are missing, and the Zeta Kappas may be involved, and Buffy. Are you wearing makeup? Xander smears the lipstick off with his fingers.", "Xander: No. I think Buffy's still inside somewhere with Cordelia. Her car's still here.", "Giles: Why are you wearing that? (indicates the robe)", "Xander: Oh, I found it in their trash. I saw them through the window. They were wearing robes and went down to the basement. I was gonna use it to sneak in.", "Giles: They may be involved in some kind of ritual.", "Willow: With the missing girls.", "Angel: (growls, vamped out) With Buffy!", "Xander: Okay, that *is* the guy you wanna party with.", "Cut to the basement. Machida closes in on Cordelia and she screams.", "Buffy: Hey, reptile boy! (gets his attention)", "Tom: No woman speaks to him!", "Buffy: You don't want her. Look at her. She's all skin and bones. Half an hour later you'll be hungry.", "Tom: (comes over to Buffy) I told you to shut up! He backhand punches her and holds up his sword.", "Tom: You speak again and I'll cut your throat. Cut upstairs. Xander steps up to the door holding his head down and knocks. Tackle comes to the door to answer.", "Xander: Got locked out dumping the trash. Let me in. I don't wanna miss the, uh... Tackle opens the door and waves him in.", "Tackle: Come on.", "Xander: ...you know what. (throws back his hood) Where are they?! He punches Tackle in the face and knocks him down, but has really hurt his hand doing it. Angel comes in behind him and punches out Linebacker. Willow and Giles follow them in.", "Cut to the basement. Two brothers unchain Cordelia and hold her. Tom hears the commotion upstairs.", "Tom: Something's going on upstairs. (to the brothers) Go. Go! Several of them rush upstairs to see what's going on. Buffy looks up at her chains again, then back at Machida.", "Tom: Feed, Dark Lord! Machida rises above Cordelia, then moves in to take her from the brothers' grip. She screams loudly and struggles. Buffy yanks hard at her chains again, and they finally break loose from the ceiling. She quickly steps over to Machida and punches him in the face. He pulls back away from them, holding the side of his face. Buffy starts fighting the brothers. Tom takes a swing at her with his sword. Cut upstairs. Angel throws a brother to the floor. Willow jumps over him, runs to the basement door and goes in. Xander is on Tackle's back, punching him.", "Xander: That's for the wig! (punches again) That's for the bra! Giles struggles with a door. A brother tries to grab him from behind, but he elbow-punches him and knocks him out. Willow comes back out of the basement door.", "Willow: Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also there's a really big snake! Angel punches another brother and sends him reeling into the sill of an opening in the wall. Willow screams and backs off as the brother falls to the floor." ]

[ "Costume shop owner Ethan Rayne casts a spell that transforms kids into their costume personae. Angel and Cordelia try to help as Willow becomes a ghost, Xander a soldier, and Buffy a brainless, helpless 18th-century noblewoman. Spike joins the fun and tries to take advantage of the Slayer's predicament, but Giles breaks Ethan's spell at a critical moment." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Pop's Pumpkin Patch. The camera pans down from the sign over the stand past another one counting off the days until Halloween to a pumpkin on the ground aglow with a candle. Buffy lands flat on her back on top of it. She looks up at the vampire that just threw her and sees him coming toward her. She grabs a squash lying on the ground behind her and throws it at him, hitting him in the forehead. She follows it up with a pumpkin. The vampire staggers back a few steps. Buffy hops back to her feet. She pulls a stake out of her shirt and launches it at him. He grabs the scarecrow and pulls it over in front of him so the stake impales it instead. He shoves the scarecrow aside and comes at her with a roundhouse kick. They start fighting hand-to-hand.", "Cut to a view of them through a camcorder. The 'record' light is on. Cut to another vampire taping the fight. He gets closer for a better view.", "Cut to the view through the camcorder. Buffy continues to fight the first vampire. The 'battery low' indicator starts flashing. A moment later the view becomes snowy, and the vampire takes the camcorder away from his eye. He jostles it, and it starts working again. He raises it back to his eye to continue recording. The fight goes on, and a few hits later the first vampire knocks Buffy into the hay wagon. She holds onto the side of the wagon and kicks the vampire to the ground. She turns around with her back to the wagon and grabs the railing as the vampire gets back up. She raises her legs and grabs the vampire's head in a scissor hold. She twists her body and flips him over sideways onto the ground. Stepping away from the wagon, she spies the sign and then looks down at the vampire. He tries to grab for her legs, so she jumps over him and somersaults to the countdown sign. She pulls it out of the ground and swings it at his legs as he comes for her, knocking them out from under him. She raises the sign and jams the end of the signpost into his chest. The vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy leaves the sign stuck in the ground at its new location and walks out of the pumpkin patch. The second vampire lowers the camcorder and slowly backs away as he watches her go. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. A waitress picks up a tray of cappuccino and cupcakes. The camera follows her as she heads to her table. She turns to her right, but the camera continues through the crowd over to Angel sitting alone at a table, looking very bored. A huge spider web and other Halloween decorations adorn the staircase behind him. Cordelia spots him with his bored look and comes over to his table. \"Shy\", by Epperley, is playing.", "Lyrics: I don't say much but I, but I like to sing", "Cordelia: I know. Is the Bronze so not happening? Or what? (sets down her drink and sits)", "Angel: Oh. Hi.", "Lyrics: Won't tell you what I'm thinking", "Cordelia: Hi!", "Angel: I'm waiting for Buffy.", "Lyrics: Just have to wait and sing", "Cordelia: Great! I'm supposed to be meeting Devon, but he's nowhere to be seen. It's like he thinks being in a band gives him an obligation to flake. Angel smiles at the joke.", "Cordelia: Well, his loss is your incredible gain!", "Cut to the door. Buffy comes in, looks around and sees Angel at the table with Cordelia, laughing. Cut to Angel's table.", "Cordelia: So I told Devon, 'You call that leather interior? My Barbie Dream Car had nicer seats!' (they both laugh)", "Lyrics: I have no skin left on my, on my fingertips", "Cut to Buffy. She's upset seeing Angel there with Cordelia and turns around to leave. Angel notices her as she's about to go.", "Angel: Buffy? He gets up and hurries over to her.", "Angel: Buffy!", "Lyrics: But still my heart pours out, out from my lips", "Buffy: (turns back around) Hi! I'm...", "Angel: Late.", "Buffy: Rough day at the office. Angel reaches up to her hair and pulls out a piece of straw.", "Angel: So I see.", "Lyrics: Well I'm mute, but I'm not quite mute", "Buffy: Hey, it's a look. A seasonal look.", "Lyrics: And I say the things you want to hear", "Cordelia: (appears behind Angel) Buffy. Love the hair. It just screams street urchin. (leaves)", "Lyrics: I'm mute, but I'm not quite mute", "Buffy: (smiles) Know what? I need to go... (loses the smile) put a bag over my head. (starts to go)", "Lyrics: And I keep to myself to defend", "Angel: (grabs her arm) Don't listen to her. Please. You look fine.", "Lyrics: Yeah I'm alright", "Buffy: You're sweet. A terrible liar, but sweet.", "Lyrics: Oh now don't want to fight", "Angel: I thought we had...", "Buffy: A date. So did I. But who am I kidding?", "Lyrics: I'm an angel burning out / Oh now", "Buffy: Dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of. (turns and goes out the door)", "Cordelia: (comes back) Cappuccino? She holds the cup up to him. He looks at her, down at the cappuccino and then back at the door.", "Cut to school the next day. Sign-ups are being taken for the volunteer safety program for Halloween. Principal Snyder takes one of the clipboards and looks around the hall. He grabs the next girl that walks by and pulls her aside.", "Girl: Hey!", "Snyder: You're volunteering. He holds out the clipboard and pen to her. Willow, Buffy and Xander come in from the other hall.", "Girl: But I have to get to class. Snyder just shrugs. The team walks past him.", "Willow: Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year.", "Xander: Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept.", "Buffy: What's the deal? They've reached Willow's locker, and she works the combination.", "Xander: Oh, a bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or- treating. Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night.", "Buffy: Yikes. I'll stick to vampires. Snyder puts his hand on her shoulder, and she spins around to face him.", "Snyder: Miss Summers. Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for.", "Buffy: Principal Snyder!", "Snyder: Halloween must be a big night for you. Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well, (leads her to the sign-up table) not this year, missy. Willow and Xander come stand behind her.", "Buffy: Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight. Snyder holds up the clipboard and pen.", "Snyder: The program starts at four, the children have to be back at six. Buffy reluctantly grabs the pen and clipboard and signs herself up. Xander thinks it's funny and smiles back at Willow. Willow has a concerned look on her face. Snyder holds pens out to Willow and Xander, too. They both look at him, begging not to be put through this. Willow gives in and takes the pen. Cut to another part of the hall.", "Xander: I can't believe this. We have to get dressed up and the whole deal?", "Willow: Snyder said costumes were mandatory.", "Buffy: Great. I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me.", "Xander: Halloween quiet? Oh, I figured it'd be a big old vamp scare- apalooza. They walk into the lounge.", "Buffy: Not according to Giles. He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead. (the girls sit) They stay in.", "Xander: (smiling) Those wacky vampires! That's why I love 'em! They just keep you guessing! He puts his satchel down on the table and heads over to the soda vending machine. He puts in his coins and hits a button. Nothing. He hits another one. Still nothing. He hits the machine in the front and on the side. Larry comes up to him and puts his hand on Xander's shoulder.", "Larry: Harris!", "Xander: Hey, Lar. You're lookin' Cro-Mag as usual. What can I do you for?", "Larry: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?", "Xander: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.", "Larry: So, she, she's not your girlfriend?", "Xander: Alas, no. Larry looks over at Buffy as he walks around Xander.", "Larry: Do you think she'd go out with me? He turns to face Xander with Buffy to his back now.", "Xander: Well, Lar, that's a tough question to... No. Not a chance.", "Larry: Why not? I heard some guys say she was fast.", "Xander: I hope you mean like the wind.", "Larry: Yeah, you know what I mean.", "Xander: That's my friend that you're talkin' about!", "Larry: Oh, yeah? Well, what're you gonna do about it?", "Xander: I'm gonna do what any man would do about it: (grabs Larry by the shirt) somethin' damn manly. Larry smiles and laughs. He knocks Xander's hands away and grabs him by the shirt with his right hand. He balls his left hand into a fist and draws back for a punch. Buffy grabs his wrist, pulls it behind his back and slams his head into the vending machine. A Diet Dr Pepper rolls into the slot.", "Buffy: Get gone. She pulls Larry back from the machine and shoves him away. She notices the soda can.", "Buffy: Ooo! Diet! (grabs the can)", "Xander: Do you know what you just did?", "Buffy: Saved you a dollar?", "Xander: No, but Larry was about to pummel me!", "Buffy: Oh, that? Forget about it! (heads back to the table)", "Xander: Oh, I'll forget about it. (follows her) In maybe fifteen, twenty years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades!", "Buffy: (stops and faces him) Xander, don't you think you're...", "Xander: (interrupts) A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life. Oh, thanks! Thanks a lot for *your* help. He grabs his bag from the table and walks off in a huff. Buffy moans and sits back down with Willow.", "Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code big time.", "Willow: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?", "Buffy: Misfire. I was late due to unscheduled slayage. Showed up looking trashed.", "Willow: Was he mad?", "Buffy: Actually he was pretty unmad. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino.", "Willow: Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.", "Buffy: You mean that 'actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene' act?", "Willow: You know what I mean. Uh, she's not his type.", "Buffy: Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share.", "Willow: True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.", "Buffy: Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.", "Willow: Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.", "Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Buffy look in through the round door window. They don't see Giles and give each other a look. Buffy quietly opens the door and goes in. She looks back at Willow, who gives her encouragement. The door closes and Willow looks in through the glass. Buffy quietly makes her way up to the counter and looks around again for Giles. Satisfied that he's not there she heads for his office.", "Giles: Buffy! She spins around and sees him in the cage getting some old books.", "Giles: Excellent!", "Buffy: Nothing! Hi!", "Giles: Yes, I-I just wanted to talk to you about tomorrow night. As it should be, uh, calm, you might work on some new battle techniques.", "Buffy: You're beginning to scare me, Giles. You need to have some fun. She waves to Willow to come in as he's looking down at his books. Willow shakes her head and mouths 'no'. Giles looks up, and Buffy pulls her hand back and pretends she was scratching her head.", "Buffy: You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures tell a story.", "Giles: Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll. Willow quietly comes in.", "Giles: I'll have you know that I have very, uh, many relaxing hobbies.", "Buffy: Such as?", "Giles: Well, um... Buffy mouths something to Willow to goad her on.", "Giles: I enjoy cross-referencing.", "Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out? She grabs a book from the stack he's about to take to his office and walks around him to draw his view away from his office door.", "Buffy: So! How come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become? (leafs through the book)", "Giles: (puts his books down) Um, it's interesting, ac... Not, I suspect, to you. (takes the book from her) What is it you're after? Willow has made it to the office door.", "Buffy: Of course, it's of interest to me! I'm the Slayer. I need to know these things. You can't keep me in the dark any longer. Willow opens the door and starts in. Giles grabs the stack of books again and starts to turn to his office.", "Buffy: Look at me when I talk to you! Willow looks over at them anxiously.", "Giles: I really don't have time for these games.", "Buffy: Ms. Calendar said you were a babe. Willow looks back again, but this time gives Buffy a look and shakes her head.", "Giles: She said what?", "Buffy: (meekly) Well, she said that you were a... h-hunk of burning... something or other. So, (exhales) whadaya think of that?", "Giles: Uh, I... (exhales) I don't, um, uh... A burning hunk of what?", "Buffy: Look. You know how disgusting it is for me to even contemplate you grownups having smoochies, (sees Willow come out of the office with a diary) but I think you should go for it.", "Giles: Buffy, I appreciate your interest, but... Willow hurries past the counter.", "Buffy: But I've overstepped my bounds. It's none of my business, you know. (stammers) What was I thinking? My God! Shame, (Willow goes out the door) shame. I gotta go. (quickly walks out)", "Giles: (not sure what to make of it) A babe? (smirks) I can live with that.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Buffy and Willow are sitting on the sinks and looking at a drawing of a noble woman with a tiny waist wearing a billowy gown.", "Buffy: Man, look at her.", "Willow: Who is she?", "Buffy: It doesn't say, but the entry's dated 1775.", "Willow: Angel was eighteen. And still human.", "Buffy: So that's the kinda girl he hung around? She's pretty coiffed.", "Willow: She looks like a noble woman or something. Which means being beautiful is sort of her job.", "Buffy: And clearly this girl was a workaholic. I'll never be like this.", "Willow: C'mon! She's not that pretty. I mean, look at her. She's got a funny... uh, waist. Look how tiny that is.", "Buffy: (sarcastically) Thank you. Now I feel better.", "Willow: (exhales) No. She's like a freak. A circus freak. Yuk.", "Buffy: (exhales) Musta been wonderful. Put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess, and have horses and servants, and yet more gowns.", "Willow: Yeah. Still, I think I prefer being able to vote. (Buffy raises her brows) (smiles) Or I will when I can. Cordelia comes into the bathroom and goes to the mirror.", "Cordelia: So, Buffy. You ran off last night and left poor little Angel all by his lonesome. But I did everything I could to comfort him.", "Buffy: I'll bet.", "Cordelia: (gets out her blush) So, what's his story anyway? I mean, I never see him around. (brushes some onto her cheeks)", "Willow: Not during the day, anyway.", "Cordelia: Oh, please. Don't tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car? (puts the blush away)", "Buffy: Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years.", "Cordelia: (touches up her lip gloss) Oh, good. I mean... (faces them) What?", "Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew.", "Cordelia: (turns back to the mirror) Oh, he's a vampire. (puts away the lip gloss) Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs?", "Willow: It's true.", "Cordelia: (steps over to them) You know what I think? (crosses her arms) I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer. She walks out. Buffy just watches her go.", "Cut to Ethan's Costume Shop. The store is full of mothers with their kids looking for Halloween costumes. Buffy is handling a plastic pumpkin when it suddenly lights up and screams. She quickly puts it back on the counter. Willow comes over to her.", "Buffy: What'd you get?", "Willow: A time-honored classic! (holds up a ghost costume)", "Buffy: Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice?", "Willow: It's not spooky enough?", "Buffy: It's just... you're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the whole point of Halloween.", "Willow: (smiles) Free candy?", "Buffy: It's come as you aren't night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions.", "Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.", "Buffy: Don't underestimate yourself. You've got it in you.", "Willow: Hey, Xander! He comes up to them.", "Willow: What'd you get? He pulls a toy military rifle out of his bag and holds it up for Willow to see.", "Buffy: That's not a costume.", "Xander: (gives Buffy a look, then turns to Willow) I got fatigues from an Army surplus at home. Call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby! He smiles at Willow. She smiles back.", "Buffy: Hey, look, Xander... (he points the rifle at her) I'm... really sorry about this morning.", "Xander: Do you mind, Buffy? I'm trying to repress.", "Buffy: Okay, then I promise, from now on I'll let you get pummeled.", "(puts her chin on his shoulder and pouts)", "Xander: (rolls his eyes) Thank you. (Buffy smiles) Okay, y'know, actually I think I could've t...", "Buffy is distracted by a costume. She slowly starts walking over to it.", "Xander: Hello! That was our touching reconciliation moment there. She keeps walking over to a frilly, red, billowy 18th-century gown.", "Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just... Look at this.", "Willow: It's amazing.", "Xander: Too bulky. I prefer my women in spandex. Ethan notices her looking at the dress and comes over to them.", "Ethan: Please, let me. He takes the dress off of its dressmaker's mannequin.", "Buffy: Oh, i-it's...", "Ethan: Magnificent. Yes, I know. There. (holds it up to her in a mirror) My. Meet the hidden princess. I think we found a match. Don't you?", "Buffy: (looks at Ethan) Oh, uh, I-I'm sorry. There's no way I could ever afford this.", "Ethan: Oh, nonsense. I feel quite moved to make you a deal you can't refuse. She looks back into the mirror, takes the dress from Ethan and smiles dreamily as she holds it up to her chin.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. He's watching the video that the vampire took of Buffy's fight.", "Spike: Here it comes. (watches) Rewind that. Let's see that again. The vampire rewinds the tape as Spikes strolls around to another monitor.", "Spike: (chuckles) She's tricky. Baby likes to play. The scene where she stakes the vampire with the sign replays.", "Spike: You see that? The way she stakes him with that thing? That's what's called resourceful. Rewind it again.", "Drusilla: (comes from the other room) Miss Edith needs her tea.", "Spike: C'mere, poodle. (holds his hand out to her)", "Drusilla: (takes his hand) Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?", "Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.", "Drusilla: Don't worry. Everything's switching. Outside to inside. (breathes at Spike's neck) It makes her weak.", "Spike: Really? Did my pet have a vision?", "Drusilla: Do you know what I miss? Leeches.", "Spike: Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?", "Drusilla: Tomorrow.", "Spike: Tomorrow's Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween.", "Drusilla: Someone's come to change it all. Someone new.", "Cut to the back room at Ethan's. He comes through the curtain and kneels before his statue of Janus. He presses his hands together and winces in pain. When he pulls them apart there are wounds in his palms, and blood flows freely from them.", "Ethan: The world that denies thee, thou inhabit. He dabs the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger and smears it over his right eyelid.", "Ethan: The peace that ignores thee,... He dabs the blood from his right hand with his left middle finger and smears it over his left eyelid.", "Ethan: ...thou corrupt. He dabs the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger again and smears a cross onto his forehead.", "Ethan: Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son. The camera pans over the top of the statue from the woman's face on one side to the man's face on the other. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's at her long mirror wearing her gown and a long, black wig. She puts on the second of a pair of earrings. Willow is in the bathroom changing.", "Willow: Where're you meeting Angel?", "Buffy: Here. After trick-or-treating. Mom's gonna be out.", "Willow: Does he know about your costume?", "Buffy: Nope. Call it a blast from his past. I'll show him I can coif with the best of 'em. (turns to the bathroom door) Okay, Willow, come out. You can't hide in there all night.", "Willow: O-okay, but, but promise you won't laugh?", "Buffy: I promise. Willow opens the door and comes out wearing boots, a short, black leather skirt and a burgundy, long-sleeved, V-necked, midriff-baring top. She's uncomfortable, and quickly steps over to her ghost sheet and picks it up.", "Buffy: (smiles) Wow! You're a dish! Willow tries to hide herself with the sheet, but Buffy takes it from her and tosses it aside.", "Buffy: I mean, really. Willow is very uncomfortable and tries to cover herself with her arms.", "Willow: But this just isn't me.", "Buffy: And that's the point. (walks around Willow to show her the mirror) Look, Halloween is the night that not you *is* you, but not *you*. Y'know? The doorbell rings.", "Buffy: Oh! That's Xander. Are you ready?", "Willow: (nervous) Yeah. O-o-okay.", "Buffy: Cool! I can't wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you! (goes to get the door) Willow is still trying to cover herself. Cut downstairs. Buffy comes down the stairs and opens the door for Xander. He enters saluting with his toy rifle in his hand.", "Xander: Private Harris reporting for... (sees Buffy in her costume) Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!", "Buffy: (curtsies) Thank you, kind sir. (Xander bows) But wait till you see... They turn to look up the stairs at Willow. She has put on the ghost sheet. It says 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters.", "Willow: Hi.", "Buffy: ...Casper.", "Xander: Hey, Will! That's aaa fine boo you got there. Buffy is disappointed. Xander just stares.", "Cut to the school. Children are arriving in costume to be taken trick- or-treating. Cut inside to the hall by the stairs. Buffy is standing there holding a clipboard, waiting for her charges. Snyder brings them to her.", "Snyder: This is your group, Summers. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won't expel you. (starts to leave)", "Buffy: (bends down to the kids) Hi.", "Snyder: Ah, ah! Buffy straightens back up and rolls her eyes. Cut to Xander in his soldier outfit. Larry comes by dressed as a pirate.", "Larry: Where's your bodyguard, Harris? Curling her hair? He jumps at Xander, making him flinch. He laughs in Xander's face and goes. Xander points his rifle at him, but then dismisses him.", "Cut to Oz checking his guitar at his locker. Cordelia comes into the hall wearing a tight-fitting catsuit and walks up to him.", "Cordelia: Oz. Oz.", "Oz: (looks up at her) Hey, Cordelia. Jeez, you're like a great big cat.", "Cordelia: It's my costume. Are you guys playing tonight?", "Oz: Yeah, at the Shelter Club.", "Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show- up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?", "Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.", "Cordelia: Well, you can tell him that I don't care, and that I didn't even mention it. And that I didn't even see you. So that's just fine.", "Oz: So, what do I tell him?", "Cordelia: Nothing! Jeez! Get with the program. (walks off in a huff)", "Oz: (sarcastically) Why can't I meet a nice girl like that? Willow comes down the hall in her ghost sheet. Oz turns around and bumps right into her.", "Oz: Oh! I'm sorry.", "Willow: Sorry.", "Oz: I'm sorry.", "Willow: Sorry.", "Oz: Sorry. Oz and Willow continue down the hall on their separate ways.", "Cut to Xander briefing his group. He's got them all lined up and standing at attention.", "Xander: Okay, on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood? They all nod their heads.", "Xander: Okay, troops. He turns and faces down the hall. The kids follow his lead.", "Xander: Let's move out.", "Cut to the streets. A student dressed as a vampire is escorting a group of kids. They walk by Buffy's group coming back from a house. Buffy crouches down to see what they got.", "Buffy: What did Mrs. Davis give you? They all pull out toothbrushes.", "Buffy: She must be stopped. Let's hit one more house. (gets up) We still have a few more minutes before I need to get you back.", "Cut to the back room at Ethan's. He weaves a spell in Latin.", "Ethan: Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe noctem pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas.", "Translation: Janus, I invoke your spirit. Hear my plea. Seize the night for your own reason. Come, appear and show to us that which is infinite power.", "Cut to a house. Willow follows her charges along the porch to the door.", "Willow: C'mon, guys. One of the kids wearing a green monster mask on his head rings the bell and steps back. An old lady answers the door. The kid with the mask pulls it down over his face.", "Kids: Trick-or-treat!", "Lady: Oh, my goodness, aren't you adorable!", "Cut to Ethan's.", "Ethan: Persona se corpum et sanguium commutandum est. Vestra sancta praesentia concrescet viscera. Janus! Sume noctem!", "Translation: The mask transforms itself into flesh and blood. Your holy presence curdles the heart. Janus! Take the night!", "Cut to Buffy. A wind begins to blow. She senses something isn't quite right.", "Cut to the Lady with Willow's kids. She looks into her empty candy bucket.", "Lady: Oh, dear! Am I all out?", "Cut to Ethan's. He raises his head.", "Ethan: Showtime!", "Cut to the Lady's house.", "Lady: I could've sworn I had more candy. The kid wearing a red rubber cap with horns morphs into a horned, red skinned monster.", "Lady: I'm sorry, mister monster. (bends down) Maybe I... The kid with the green mask has changed into a monster also, and grabs the lady by the neck and begins to choke her. The other kids scream and run away.", "Willow: No! Let her go! The red monster attacks the green one, and he lets go of the lady. The two monsters are at each other's throats.", "Willow: Stop! What're you doing?! The lady runs into the house and slams the door shut.", "Willow: Stop! Hey! The two monsters keep fighting. Willow suddenly starts to feel weak.", "Cut to the street. Xander is standing there watching all the parents and children running around him. Things are being thrown and windows are being broken.", "Cut to Willow. She staggers a bit as the two monsters keep fighting.", "Willow: Ohmigod! Can't breathe... She collapses to the floor.", "Cut to Xander. He jerks back like he's just been hit by something. He bends over slightly, looks down and lowers his toy rifle. Slowly he straightens back up and surveys the scene around him. He raises his rifle again and cradles the fully automatic M-16 in his hands. He shoulders the weapon and spins around, scanning for a target. When he doesn't immediately find one, he takes the rifle from his shoulder and holds it ready.", "Cut to Willow on the porch. She gets up out of her body and looks down at it. She's only wearing her sexy outfit now without the sheet.", "Willow: Ohmigod! I'm a real ghost! She hears automatic rifle fire and turns to look.", "Willow: Xander? She runs out into the street and comes up behind him.", "Willow: Xander! He spins around and points his M-16 at her.", "Willow: It's me, Willow!", "Xander: I don't know any Willow.", "Willow: Xander, quite messing around. This is no time for jokes.", "Xander: What the hell's going on here?", "Willow: You don't know me?", "Xander: (lifts the rifle away from her) Lady, I suggest you find cover.", "(starts walking past her)", "Willow: (gets in front of him) No, wait!", "Xander walks right through her. They're both surprised by the experience.", "Willow: Oh! Xander turns around and points his weapon at her again. She turns to face him.", "Xander: What are you?", "Willow: Xander, listen to me. I'm on your side, I swear! Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween, a-and now I am a ghost. And you were supposed to be a soldier, and now I, I-I guess you're a real soldier.", "Xander: You expect me to believe that? A monster appears across the street, growling. Xander points his rifle at it. It runs away. Willow jumps in front of him.", "Willow: No! No guns! That's still a little kid in there!", "Xander: Step out of the way!", "Willow: No guns! That's an order! He lowers the rifle.", "Willow: We just need to find... (sees her) Buffy! She runs across the street over to Buffy. Xander follows.", "Willow: Buffy! Are you okay? The monster is back with a friend, and they both roar as they approach. Xander shoulders his M-16 again and takes aim.", "Xander: This could be a situation.", "Willow: Buffy, what do we do? Buffy faints and falls to the ground.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The street. Xander fires off a couple dozen rounds at the approaching monsters. They turn and run. Xander lowers his rifle. The camera pans down from him to Willow kneeling beside Buffy, who's lying against a tree.", "Willow: Buffy, are you alright?", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: Are you hurt?", "Willow: Buffy, are you hurt?", "Buffy: (sits up) Buffy?", "Willow: (to Xander) She's not Buffy.", "Xander: Who's Buffy?", "Willow: Oh, this is fun. (to Buffy) What year is this? Xander takes Buffy's hand and helps her up.", "Buffy: 1775, I believe. (confused and hyperventilating) I-I don't understand. Who are you?", "Willow: We're friends.", "Buffy: F-friends of whom? Y-your dress... Everything is strange! How did I come to be here?", "Willow: Breathe, okay, breathe. You're gonna faint again. (to Xander) How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?", "Xander: What's a Slayer? A monster comes around the tree behind Buffy and roars, fangs bared and claws raised to attack. Buffy screams and backs off. Xander jumps in and whacks the monster across the face with the butt of his rifle, knocking it down and out.", "Xander: I suggest we get inside before we come across anything...", "Buffy: (screaming) A DEMON! A DEMON! (gets behind Xander) A DEMON! A sport utility vehicle comes driving down the street with its headlights on.", "Willow: That's not a demon. It's a car.", "Buffy: What does it want?", "Xander: Is this woman insane?", "Willow: She's never seen a car.", "Xander: She's never seen a car?", "Willow: She's from the past.", "Xander: And you're a ghost.", "Willow: Yes! Now let's get inside.", "Xander: I just want you to know that I'm taking a lot on faith here. Where do we go?", "Willow: (thinks) Where's the closest... We can go to a friend's.", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut to the kitchen. Xander opens the door and scans the room.", "Xander: All clear!", "Willow: (walks in) Hello? Mrs. Summers? (no response) Good, she's gone. Xander closes the door.", "Buffy: Where are we?", "Willow: Your place. Now we just need to... There's a banging at the front door. Xander goes to investigate, and Willow and Buffy follow.", "Willow: Don't open it!", "Xander: Could be a civilian.", "Willow: Or a mini demon. Buffy notices a picture on a table and goes over to look. She picks it up, and sees it's of her wearing a spaghetti strap top. She turns around as Willow comes over to her.", "Buffy: This... this could be me.", "Willow: It *is* you. Buffy, can't you remember at all?", "Buffy: No! I, I don't understand any of this! Uh, uh, th... This is some other girl! (puts the picture back) I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don't like this place, and I don't like you, and I just wanna go home!", "Willow: You *are* home! Buffy is practically in tears. Willow turns back to Xander.", "Willow: She couldn't've dressed up like Xena? Xander scans the outside through one of the small windows in the door. He moves away just as a monster punches through the glass and reaches for him. It pulls its hand back as Xander raises his M-16.", "Willow: Not a civilian!", "Xander: Affirmative! (takes aims through the broken portal)", "Willow: Hey! What did we say?! Xander lets loose a volley of bullets. Willow winces at the noise. Buffy bows her head and covers her ears. Xander rolls away from the door when he's finished his burst.", "Xander: Big noise scare monster, remember?", "Willow: Got it. They hear a woman screaming outside. Xander looks out again.", "Xander: Damn it! He opens the door and goes out to rescue whomever it is, pulling the door closed behind him. Buffy runs up to Willow.", "Buffy: Surely he'll not desert us!", "Willow: (shakes her head) Whatever. She rolls her eyes and heads into the living room. Buffy is wide-eyed with fear. Cut outside. Cordelia screams as she runs from a sasquatch.", "Cordelia: Somebody help me! She looks back at the monster chasing her and screams. When she turns back around again she runs into Xander.", "Cordelia: Xander! Help me!", "Xander: Come inside! He takes her by her elbow and leads her to the house. Cut inside. Willow watches through the window. Xander and Cordelia quickly come in through the door.", "Willow: Cordelia!", "Cordelia: Wait a... What's going on?", "Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of.", "Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?", "Willow: You know us?", "Cordelia: Yeah. Lucky me. What's with the name game?", "Willow: A lot's going on.", "Cordelia: No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume! (shows the torn sleeve) Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely. Xander has taken his shirt off and puts it around her shoulders.", "Xander: Here.", "Cordelia: Thanks.", "Willow: Okay. You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off.", "Buffy: Well, i-it's not our place to fight. Uh, surely some men will protect us.", "Cordelia: What's that riff?", "Willow: I-it's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are. Just sit tight. (starts to go)", "Cordelia: Who died and made her the boss? Willow walks through the wall behind Cordelia. Buffy stares in wide-eyed amazement. Cut outside. Several monsters are chasing people down the street past Spike.", "Spike: Well! This is just... neat! Cut inside. Xander brings a chair over from the dining room.", "Xander: (to Cordelia) You! Check upstairs. Make sure everything's locked up. He positions the chair to help hold the table they've upended against the window in place. Cordelia heads upstairs.", "Buffy: Surely there's somewhere we can go. A safe haven.", "Xander: Lady said stay put.", "Buffy: You would take orders from a woman? A-are you feeble in some way?", "Xander: Ma'am, in the Army we have a saying: sit down and shut the... He sees a picture on the floor", "Xander: Whoa! He picks it up. It's of the three of them.", "Xander: She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia.", "Buffy: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often!", "Xander: How do you explain this?", "Buffy: I don't! I was brought up a proper lady. I-I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a Baron.", "Xander: This ain't no tea party, princess. Sooner or later you're gonna have to fight!", "Buffy: Fight these low creatures? (snotty) I'd sooner die. (crosses her arms)", "Xander: Then you'll die. Angel comes in from the kitchen.", "Angel: Oh, good! You guys are alright. It's total chaos out there. They both look at him.", "Buffy and Xander: Who are you?", "Cut to the library. Giles is going through a stack of cards he's pulled from the card catalog. He hears yelling and sirens outside and looks up, wondering what's going on. He sees Willow come though the wall and jumps in complete surprise, letting the cards fly all over the place.", "Giles: Jeez!", "Willow: Hi.", "Giles: (calms down a bit) Uh... ah... (speechless) huh...", "Cut to Buffy's house.", "Angel: Okay, somebody wanna fill me in?", "Xander: Do you live here?", "Angel: No, and you know that. Buffy, (she jumps) I'm lost here. You... What's up with your hair?", "Cordelia: (comes back in) They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing. (smiles) How are you? The lights go out. Buffy grabs Cordelia in fright.", "Cordelia: Do you mind? Buffy lets go of her.", "Xander: (to Angel) You take the princess and secure the kitchen. Catwoman, you're with me. Cordelia follows Xander as Angel heads for the kitchen.", "Buffy: But I don't wanna go with you! I-I like the man with the musket!", "Angel: (takes her arm) C'mon.", "Buffy: Do you have a musket? They go into the kitchen. Angel sees that the door is open.", "Angel: I didn't leave that open. He quietly moves toward the door as he looks around for an intruder. He closes the door. The basement door behind Buffy opens, and a vampire attacks her. She tries to push the door closed on him. Angel grabs the vampire and wrestles him to the floor. It's the student escort in a vampire costume.", "Angel: A stake!", "Buffy: A what?", "Angel: Get me a stake! Buffy looks around and grabs a knife she sees on the counter.", "Angel: Hurry up! He turns to look what's keeping her and has his game face on. Buffy screams at the top of her lungs. She runs for the door.", "Angel: Buffy, no! She opens the door and runs out.", "Cut to the library. Giles is in the cage getting a stack of old papers. He blows the dust off of them and comes back out. Willow is looking at a book.", "Willow: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Plus I can't turn the page.", "Giles: Well, alright, l-let's, let's, let's review. (sets the papers on the table) Um, so everybody became, uh, whatever they were masquerading as.", "Willow: Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an 18th-century girl.", "Giles: (confused) A-and, uh, your, your costume?", "Willow: I'm a ghost!", "Giles: Yes. Um... w, uh, uh, uh, the ghost of what, exactly?", "Willow: (covers her midriff with her arms) Well, this is nothing. You should see what Cordelia was wearing. A-a, a unitard with cat things, like ears and stuff.", "Giles: Good heavens. Uh, sh-sh-she became an actual feline?", "Willow: No! She was the same old Cordelia. Just in a cat costume.", "Giles: She didn't change.", "Willow: No. Hold on... Partytown. She told us she got her outfit from Partytown.", "Giles: A-a-and everyone who changed, they, they, they, they acquired their costumes where?", "Willow: We all got ours at a new place. Ethan's.", "Cut to an alley. Buffy runs between all the trash that's piled up there.", "Cut to the street. Cordelia, Angel and Xander are looking for Buffy. Xander has his rifle raised and ready. The camera follows them as they walk.", "Xander: Are you sure she came this way?", "Angel: No.", "Cordelia: She'll be okay.", "Angel: *Buffy* would be okay. Whoever she is now, she's helpless. C'mon! The camera moves behind a tree where Spike is hiding and overhearing their conversation. He turns to the child monsters Willow was chaperoning.", "Spike: Do you hear that, my friends? The monsters nod and growl.", "Spike: Somewhere out here is the (cut to Buffy running down the alley) *tenderest* meat you've *ever* tasted, and all *we* have to do is find her first! Buffy has stopped running and leans against a crate. She sniffs and looks around, frightened. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The alley. Buffy looks around, trying to decide what to do. She lifts her skirt a bit and starts to walk. She turns around to look behind her and takes a few steps backward. When she turns back around Larry, who has turned into a pirate, startles her. He smiles widely at her, showing his rotten teeth.", "Larry: Pretty, pretty! Buffy tries to run away, and Larry gives chase.", "Cut to Ethan's Costume Shop. Giles looks around as he and Willow come in.", "Giles: Hello! Anyone home? Willow sees the curtain to the back room partially open.", "Willow: Giles... They slowly go in and see the statue of Janus there. Its eyes glow green.", "Giles: Janus. Roman mythical god.", "Willow: What does this mean?", "Giles: Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark.", "Ethan: (appears) Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter. Giles stares at Ethan as though he's seen a ghost.", "Giles: Willow, get out of here, now.", "Willow: But...", "Giles: Now! She obeys him and goes.", "Giles: Hello, Ethan.", "Ethan: Hello, Ripper.", "Cut to the alley. Buffy backs away from Larry. She turns to run, but trips and falls. Her gown billows out around her. Larry grabs her as she tries to get up and shoves her against a crate. He pushes her hair away from her frightened face and moves in to kiss her. Xander comes running and tackles Larry down to the pavement. He gets up and pulls Larry up and into a metal warehouse door. He punches him in the face and gut. Larry pushes him off and into the opposite alley wall and punches him back in the gut. Xander grabs Larry's arm and pulls it behind his back, forcing him to bend over, and knees him in the stomach. Cordelia arrives behind Buffy with Angel.", "Cordelia: Buffy! Are you okay? Buffy sees Angel, yelps and cowers behind a box.", "Cordelia: What's your deal? Take a pill! Larry attacks Xander with his pirate's sword. Xander sidesteps him, grabs him by the wrist and twists his arm around, making him drop the sword. He lifts Larry back up and punches him, sending him sprawling into a pile of trash.", "Buffy: He's, he's a vampire!", "Cordelia: (to Angel) She's got this thing where she thinks... (exasperated) Uhhh, forget it. (to Buffy) It's okay. Angel is a good vampire. He would never hurt you.", "Buffy: (slowly stands up) Really?", "Cordelia: Absolutely. He's our friend. Angel heads over to Xander fighting Larry. Xander punches Larry, sending him into the pile of trash and a stack of boxes again. Several boxes fall off of the top and onto Larry. He is knocked out cold.", "Xander: (to Angel) It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure. Willow comes running down the alley from the other end.", "Willow: Guys!", "Angel: Willow!", "Willow: Guys, you gotta get inside. She looks back and they see Spike and his monster gang coming.", "Xander: We need a triage!", "Angel: (points the other way) This way! Find an open warehouse. Xander turns and picks up his rifle.", "Xander: Ladies, we're on the move! He quickly heads down the alley. Cordelia and Willow follow him. Angel lifts Buffy and carries her away. Spike and the monsters walk after them at a quick, deliberate pace.", "Cut to Ethan's.", "Ethan: What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?", "Giles: I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.", "Ethan: Yes, it does, doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'.", "Giles: It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent.", "Ethan: Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man.", "Giles: It's no act. It's who I am.", "Ethan: Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of. (considers) But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from.", "Giles: Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back.", "Ethan: Why should I? What's in the bargain for me?", "Giles: You get to live.", "Ethan: Oh, Rupert, you're scaring me. Giles punches him in the gut with a left, making him double over, and follows up with a right to the face.", "Cut to the alley. Angel has gotten ahead of the others and finds an open warehouse.", "Angel: Over here! Xander pushes the door aside, and they all hurry in.", "Xander: Check if there are any other ways in! He slides the door closed again as Angel sets Buffy back down on her feet next to Cordelia.", "Angel: Just stay here." ]

[ "To get help killing Buffy while he intensifies his search for Dru's cure, Spike calls upon the Order of Taraka. Buffy is attacked by a series of assassins, including her heir \"Kendra, the Vampire Slayer\", who was called when Buffy died at the end of Season 1 and initially mistakes Buffy for a vampire. Kendra, having seen \"vampire\" Buffy kissing vampire Angel, has already taken Angel out of the picture." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. The career fair is going on in the lounge. Willow comes into the hall from outside and looks around at some of the displays being set up on her way to sign up for the career aptitude test. Buffy and Xander are already sitting at a table filling out their tests.", "Xander: (reads) 'Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?' Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default? Willow heads for their table with a test to join them.", "Buffy: So, mark 'none of the above'.", "Xander: Well, there are no boxes for 'none of the above'. That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.", "Willow: (sits) I'm sensing bitterness.", "Xander: No, it's just these people can't tell from one multiple-choice test what we're gonna be doing for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous!", "Willow: (smiles) I'm kinda curious to find out what sort of career I could have.", "Xander: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.", "Willow: You're not gonna be young forever.", "Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. (smirks and looks at the girls) Okay, let's not all rush to disagree.", "Buffy: (looks up at him seriously) You're not stupid. Xander gives her an acknowledging sarcastic grin, then looks up when he hears Cordelia. She has a clipboard, and is taking her test as she walks into the lounge accompanied by two of her groupies.", "Cordelia: 'I aspire to help my fellow man.' (marks her test) Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross. (walks by the table)", "Xander: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty.", "Cordelia: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice. Xander has no comeback, so Cordelia just walks away followed closely by her cronies.", "Xander: Is murder always a crime?", "Buffy: Do I like shrubs?", "Xander: That's between you and your god.", "Buffy: (to Willow) What'd you put?", "Willow: I came down on the side of shrubs.", "Buffy: Go with shrubs! Okay! (frustrated) Uhhh! I shouldn't even be bothering with this. It's all mootville for me. No matter what my aptitude test says, we already know my deal.", "Xander: Yup, high risk, sub-minimum wage...", "Buffy: Pointy wooden things...", "Willow: Then why are you even taking the test?", "Buffy: It's Principal Snyder's hoop of the week. He's not happy unless I'm jumping. Believe me, I would *not* be here otherwise.", "Willow: You're not even a teensy weensy bit curious about what kinda career you could've had? I mean, if you weren't already the Slayer and all.", "Buffy: Do the words 'sealed in fate' ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there? Willow is hurt by that comment.", "Xander: Y'know, with that kind of attitude you could've had a bright future as an employee at the DMV. (shakes his pencil at her)", "Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just... unless Hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is standing at one end of a large table dealing her tarot cards. At the other end Spike is looking on as Dalton tries to translate the ancient text in the book that they stole from the library.", "Spike: Read it again.", "Dalton: Well, I'm not sure. It could be, uh... (shrugs with his hands) deprimere... ille... bubula... linter.", "Spike: (paging through a dictionary) Debase, the beef, canoe. Dalton looks up at Spike and smiles a stupid smile. Spike cannot abide him and punches him in the face.", "Spike: Why does that strike me as not right? Dalton looks at him sheepishly and turns his attention back to the book.", "Drusilla: Spike, come dance? (holds out her hand)", "Spike: (angry) Give us some peace, would you? Can't you see I'm working? Drusilla pulls back her hand and begins to pout and whine like a puppy.", "Spike: Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. (goes to her) It's just this manuscript. Supposed to hold your cure, but it reads like gibberish. E-even Dalton here, the big brain, he can't make heads or tails of it. Drusilla puts her hand to her head.", "Drusilla: I... I, I need to change Miss Edith. She takes a few steps and then puts her other hand to her head as well, bends over and whines. Spike rushes to her, puts his arms around her and pulls her back up.", "Spike: Oh, forgive me! You know I can't stand to see you like this. (sits her down and crouches) We're runnin' out of time. It's that bloody Slayer! Whenever I turn around she's muckin' up the works.", "Drusilla: (tries to comfort him back) Shh. Shh. You'll make it right. I know. Spike puts his hands around her neck and kisses her gently but firmly. After they release their kiss he stands up again and turns his attention back to Dalton. Drusilla reaches for the next tarot card.", "Spike: Well. (walks around the table) Come on, now. Enlighten me.", "Dalton: Uh, well, it looks like Latin, but it's not. I-I'm not even sure it's, it's a language, actually, I...", "Spike: Then MAKE IT A LANGUAGE! Isn't that what a transcriber does?!", "Dalton: Well, not exactly... He yelps as Spike grabs him by the shirt and lifts him from his chair.", "Spike: I want the cure.", "Drusilla: Don't...", "Spike: Why not? Some people find pain (punches Dalton in the stomach) very inspirational. Dalton doubles over.", "Drusilla: (looks up from her cards) He can't help you. (looks back at her cards) Not without... (points at a card) the key.", "Spike: The key? You mean this book is in some kind of code?", "Drusilla: Yeah. Dalton nods weakly, still in pain. Spike shoves him back into his chair and walks over to Drusilla. He looks at one of her cards. A mausoleum is pictured on it.", "Spike: Is that where we'll find this key?", "Drusilla: Yeah!", "Spike: I'll send the boys, pronto!", "Drusilla: Now will you dance? (smiles)", "Spike: (smiles and takes her hand) I'll dance with *you*, pet. He pulls her up from her chair and lifts her into his arms.", "Spike: On the Slayer's grave! He starts to spin around with her in his arms. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The cemetery. Buffy walks through it at a relaxed pace. She pauses for a moment, but continues on, scanning the graveyard around her as she goes. She stops again when she hears clinking noises coming from a mausoleum. She looks at it and sees light coming from inside. She walks over to it, pushes the door open a bit and peeks in. Dalton is chipping away at the wall, exposing a chamber behind it. He reaches in for something as Buffy pulls her head back out and closes the door. She walks down the steps and turns around to wait for him to come out. A few moments later Dalton opens the door and steps out.", "Buffy: Does 'rest in peace' have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You're not a people. Another vampire comes up behind her. She senses him, turns around and kicks him in the gut, then the jaw, then again in the gut. He takes a swing at her, but she grabs his arm and punches him twice in the face. He swings at her with his other arm, but she ducks and catches it, too. She yanks it back, and it can be heard snapping. While she has him leaning back she thrusts a stake into his heart. He explodes into ashes.", "Buffy: One down, (turns and sees Dalton missing) one gone. She looks around, but sees no sign of him anywhere.", "Cut to Buffy's room. Angel is there, and he looks around while he waits for her to get home. Buffy climbs up to her window and looks in. She sees him looking into her bookcase. Angel takes her stuffed pig from the shelf. Without a word Buffy reaches for her bag and tosses it loudly through the window and onto the floor. Angel turns around, startled. He gently squeezes the pig.", "Angel: Buffy! You scared me.", "Buffy: (climbs in) Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy. She crouches down by her bag and reaches into her hair to pull out a few clips.", "Buffy: Just dropping by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo?", "Angel: (confused) Excuse me?", "Buffy: The pig. (opens her trunk and dumps the bag in)", "Angel: Oh. (chuckles) I, uh...", "Buffy: What's up? (walks to her desk)", "Angel: Nothing. He tosses the pig onto a chair and walks to the foot of her bed. She drops her hair clips into a desk drawer and faces him.", "Buffy: Only you don't have a nothing face. You have a something face. And you don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying, or something.", "Angel: Then why'd you come in through the window?", "Buffy: (crinkles her nose) Habit.", "Angel: I wanted to make sure you're okay. I had a bad feeling.", "Buffy: (exhales) There's a surprise. Angel comes with bad news. He exhales and turns away, tired of the same old reaction from her.", "Buffy: Oh, God, I'm sorry. (walks over to him) Look, I've been Cranky Miss all day. It's not you.", "Angel: Well, what is it then?", "Buffy: It's nothing. Angel isn't buying it.", "Buffy: (exhales) Uh, we're having this thing at school.", "Angel: Career week?", "Buffy: How did you know?", "Angel: I lurk.", "Buffy: Right. Well, then you know it's a whole week of 'what's my line', only... I don't get to play. (sits on her bed) Sometimes I just want...", "Angel: You want what? (sits next to her) Buffy looks into her long mirror. She's alone in the reflection.", "Angel: It's okay.", "Buffy: (looks up at Angel) The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before.", "Angel: Before me.", "Buffy: No, Angel, (touches his hand) it's not you. (touches his cheek) You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. (lowers her hand) I just get messed sometimes. (Angel looks down) I wish we could be regular kids.", "Angel: (looks back up) Yeah. I'll never be a kid. (gets up)", "Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of- the-night boyfriend. Angel can't help but let out a laugh. Buffy smiles back. He sees a picture on her desk and picks it up. It's of her as a child on ice- skates.", "Angel: Was this part of your normal life?", "Buffy: Oh, my God. (laughs and stands up) My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in L.A. was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters, I even got the Dorothy haircut. Thereby securing a place for myself in the geek hall of fame.", "Angel: Hmm, you wanted to be like her?", "Buffy: I wanted to *be* her. My parents were fighting all the time, and skating was an escape. I felt safe.", "Angel: When was the last time you put on your skates?", "Buffy: (inhales) About a couple of hundred demons ago.", "Angel: (steps close to her) There's a rink out past Route 17, it's... closed on Tuesdays.", "Buffy: (looks up at him) Tomorrow's Tuesday.", "Angel: I know.", "Cut to school the next day. Cordelia and Xander are going over the results of the career aptitude test posted on a bulletin board. She finds herself in the A-D list.", "Cordelia: Oh, here I am. 'Personal shopper or motivational speaker.' Neato!", "Xander: Motivational speaker? On what? Ten ways to a more annoying you? She pages through the H-K list and finds Xander's results.", "Cordelia: Oh, what about you? You're... (giggles and leaves)", "Xander: What? (frantically looks himself up) What?!", "Cut to a hall exit. Willow and Buffy come out and start across the quad.", "Willow: You and Angel are going skating? Alone?", "Buffy: Unless some unforeseen evil pops up. But I'm in full 'see no evil' mode.", "Willow: Angel ice-skating.", "Buffy: I know. Two worlds collide. Xander meets up with them.", "Xander: Wouldn't you two say you know me about as well as anyone else? Maybe even better than I know myself?", "Willow: What's *this* about?", "Xander: When you look at me, do you think 'prison guard'? Willow and Buffy giggle.", "Buffy: Um, crossing guard, maybe, but prison guard? (shakes her head)", "Xander: They just put up the assignments for the career fair, and according to my test results I can look forward to being gainfully employed in the growing field of corrections.", "Buffy: (giggles) Well, at least you'll be on the right side of the bars.", "Xander: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Laugh now, missy, they assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals.", "Buffy: (stunned) As in police?", "Xander: As in polyester, doughnuts and brutality. Buffy whines.", "Willow: But, (smiles) doughnuts!", "Buffy: (whines louder) Well, I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it. She spots Giles walking along with a tall stack of old books in his arms.", "Buffy: First I have to deal with Giles. He's on this Tony Robbins hyper-efficiency kick. Expects me to check in every day after homeroom. (walks off after Giles) Police? Xander starts to follow, but Willow holds him back.", "Willow: You didn't check to see which seminar I was assigned to, did you?", "Xander: I did, and you weren't.", "Willow: I wasn't what?", "Xander: On the list.", "Willow: But I handed in my test! I used a number two pencil!", "Xander: Then I guess you musta passed.", "Willow: It's not the kinda test you pass or fail.", "Xander: Your name wasn't up there, Will. Willow is a bit taken aback.", "Cut to the library. Giles walks to the table, balancing his stack of books. He carefully sets them down and leans over a bit to straighten the stack, but over-leans, and the books begins to fall over. He reacts quickly to try to stop them.", "Giles: AH! Buffy puts her hand on top of the stack just as he does, and they push it back up. Giles is relieved.", "Giles: (exhales) Buffy. Thank you. (she sits) I've been, uh, indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You would be amazed at how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were.", "Buffy: Color *me* stunned.", "Giles: So, uh, I trust last night's patrol was fruitful?", "Buffy: Semi. Mm, I caught one out of two vamps after they stole something from this jumbo mausoleum.", "Giles: They were stealing?", "Buffy: Yeah! They had tools, flashlights, whole nine yards. What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? (Giles begins to pace) Nine yards of what? (whines) Now it's gonna bug me all day. Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives?", "Giles: Um, this vampire who escaped, did you see what he took?", "Buffy: No, but I could take a guess and say it was something old.", "Giles: You made no effort to find out what was taken?", "Buffy: Have a cow, Giles! I just figured it was your everyday vamp hijinks.", "Giles: Well, what if it wasn't? This could be very serious! I mean, i- i-if you'd made an effort to, uh, to be more thorough in your observations...", "Buffy: Y'know, if you don't like the way I'm doing my job, why don't you find somebody else? Oh, that's right, there can only be one. As long as I'm alive, there is no one else. Well, there you go! I don't have to be the Slayer. I could be dead.", "Giles: That wasn't terribly funny. You notice I don't laugh.", "Buffy: Wouldn't be much of a change. Either way I'm bored, constricted, I never get to shop, and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So really, when you think about it, what's the diff?", "Giles: Do we have to be introspective now? Our only concern is to discover what was stolen from that mausoleum last night.", "Cut to Drusilla's room. She waves her hand over an intricately carved gold cross held out to her by Spike on a red velvet pillow.", "Spike: This is it then?", "Drusilla: (senses) It hums. I can hear it.", "Spike: Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street, and invite everyone, and drink for seven days and seven nights.", "Dalton: (behind them) What about the Slayer? She almost blew the whole thing for us. She's trouble.", "Spike: (looks at him) You *don't* say? (gets up) Trouble?! (paces) She's the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She's the bloody thorn in my BLOODY SIDE! (kicks the table violently)", "Drusilla: (concerned) Spike?", "Spike: We gotta do something. We'll never complete your cure with that *bitch* breathing down our necks. (exhales) I need to bring in the big guns. They'll take care of her once and for all.", "Dalton: Big guns?", "Spike: The Order of Taraka.", "Dalton: The bounty hunters?! Drusilla deals three tarot cards. One is of a Cyclops, another of a centipede and the third of a panther.", "Drusilla: They're coming to my party. (looks up) Three of them. Spike walks back to the bed to look at the cards.", "Dalton: Uh, yes, but... The Order of Taraka, I mean... isn't that overkill?", "Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The career fair in the school lounge. Xander walks into the hall at the far end and spots Willow.", "Xander: Willow! (they walk) What are you doing here? Fly! Be free, little bird, you defy category!", "Willow: I'm looking for Buffy.", "Xander: Oh, she went with Giles about an hour ago. Some kind of field trip deal.", "Willow: If she doesn't get back soon, Snyder's really... (spots him on the stairs) ...done a great job with the fair this year, hasn't he, Xander?", "Xander: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in *your* shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now.", "Snyder: Where is she?", "Willow: Who?", "Snyder: You know who.", "Willow: You mean Buffy? (looks around) I just saw her...", "Snyder: (interrupts) And don't feed me that 'I just saw her a minute ago, she's around here somewhere' story.", "Willow: But I did... just see her a minute ago, and she is... *around* here somewhere!", "Xander: For what it's worth...", "Snyder: (interrupts) It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.", "Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.", "Snyder: Fascinating. (leaves)", "Xander: (to Willow) Well, love to stay and chat, but I got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure. Ciao. (walks off)", "Willow: Okay, see ya. Two recruiters in dark suits approach Willow.", "Recruiter: Willow Rosenberg? (she faces them) Come with us, please?", "Willow: Excuse me?", "Recruiter: Let's walk. The two men take her by the arms and guide her to a curtained-off area of the lounge. They pull the curtain aside for Willow. She steps through and they follow her, letting the curtain fall closed again behind them. A waiter in a white jacket and black bow tie holds an hors-d'oeuvre tray up for her.", "Recruiter: Try the canape'. It's excellent. Willow shakes her head to the waiter, and he immediately departs.", "Willow: What is all this?", "Recruiter: You've been selected to meet with Mr. McCarthy, head recruiter for the world's leading software concern. The jet was delayed by fog at Sea-Tac, but he should be here any minute. Please, (indicates the couch) make yourself comfortable.", "Willow: But I didn't even get my test back.", "Recruiter: The test was irrelevant. We've been tracking you for some time.", "Willow: Is that a good thing?", "Recruiter: I would think so. We're extremely selective. In fact, only one other Sunnydale student met our criteria. Without another word the two recruiters turn and leave through the curtain. Willow is a bit stunned, but stays and turns around to see who the other student is. Oz is sitting there on the couch studying another tray of canape'. She steps over to the couch and sits down on the other end. She folds her hands in her lap and looks over at Oz. He notices someone sit and turns to look. When he sees her he does a double take and realizes she's the girl he's noticed twice before. He looks down at the tray in his hand and offers it to her.", "Oz: Canape'?", "Cut to a cemetery entrance. Buffy swings open the metal gate and strides in, holding a flashlight. Giles is running to catch up with her.", "Giles: Buffy! Slow down! Please!", "Buffy: Giles, we have work to do, remember? Get with the program. Giles holds his chest as he breathes hard to catch his breath from running after her. They continue walking to the mausoleum.", "Giles: You're behaving remarkably im-immaturely. (pant)", "Buffy: You know why? I *am* immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature.", "Giles: I was (pant) simply offering some (pant) constructive criticism.", "(pant)", "Buffy: No! You were harsh! God, you act like I picked this gig. But remember, I'm the picked.", "Giles: What you have (pant) is more than (pant) a gig. (pant) It's a sacred duty. (pant) Which (pant) shouldn't prevent you from e-e-", "eventually procuring some (pant) more (pant) gainful f-f-form of employment. Uh-uh-uh, such as I did.", "Buffy: Uh, Giles, it's one thing to be a Watcher and a librarian. They go together like chicken and... another chicken, or... two chickens, or... something, you know what I'm saying! The point is, no one blinks an eye if you want to spend all your days with books. What am I supposed to do? Carve stakes for a nursery? Giles has gotten in front of her as they make their way past several gravestones.", "Giles: Um, point taken. I must, however, admit, I-I've never really... Well, now there's a thought, have you ever considered law enforcement? Buffy stops in her tracks as Giles turns to face her. She looks at him like he's crazy. A moment later her expression changes to exasperation, and she raises her flashlight and jerks it at the mausoleum behind him.", "Giles: What? (turns to look) Oh! They walk up the steps and go in. Cut inside. The chamber is bare except for two large stone vases and a pile of rubble on the floor. They come down the steps.", "Giles: May I? (reaches for the flashlight)", "Buffy: (hands it to him) Be my guest. He turns on the flashlight and walks over to where the wall has been broken into.", "Giles: It's a reliquary. Used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint.", "Buffy: Note to self: religion: freaky. She leans against the wall as Giles scans around the rest of the room with the flashlight. He spots a name engraved on a stone high above.", "Giles: Du Lac. Oh dear, oh dear.", "Buffy: I hate when you say that.", "Giles: Josephus du Lac was buried here. He belonged to a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century.", "Buffy: Excommunicated *and* sent to Sunnydale. There's a guy big with the sinning.", "Giles: You remember the book that was stolen from the library by a vampire a few weeks ago?", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Giles: It was written by Du Lac. Damn it! I let it slip my mind with all the excitement.", "Buffy: I'm guessing it wasn't a 'Taste of the Vatican' cookbook. They start out of the mausoleum.", "Giles: No, the, uh, book was said to contain rituals and spells that reap unspeakable evil. However, it was written in archaic Latin so that nobody but the sect members could understand it. Cut outside.", "Buffy: So, everything's cool then.", "Giles: It's not. First the book was taken from the library, and now the vampires have stolen something from Du Lac's tomb.", "Buffy: You think they figured out how to read the book?", "Giles: Something's coming, Buffy, and whatever it is, I can guarantee it's not good.", "Cut to the Sunnydale bus depot. The camera pans from the depot building to a bus just arriving as the announcement is being made.", "Announcement: Bus 219, continuing service to Los Angeles, now arriving in Sunnydale at the west gate. The doors of the bus open, and the passengers begin to file out. Cut to the bottom step of the bus. A pair of heavy steel-toed boots stops on the step. The camera pans up the man's body past his leather jacket and long hair to his face. A scar runs across his left eye, apparently blinded by an injury. He looks around and steps off of the bus.", "Cut to the street in front of the Summers house. A salesman comes walking along the street carrying a large case and eyes the 'Summers' nameplate hanging from their mailbox. He looks up at the house, but continues past to the next house and walks up to the front door. He knocks, and a woman answers.", "Norman: Mrs. Kalish?", "Mrs. Kalish: Yes?", "Norman: Hello, I'm Norman Pfister with (holds up the case) Blush Beautiful Skin Care. I'm not selling anything, so I'm not asking you to buy, just to accept a few free samples.", "Mrs. Kalish: (takes off her glasses) Free?", "Norman: Absolutely. Mrs. Kalish looks him up and down and nods him into her home. He walks in and she follows him, closing the door behind her. The camera closes in on the door, and Mrs. Kalish screams loudly.", "Cut to the airport. Mrs. Kalish's scream blends into the noise of a 747 flying overhead as it comes in for a landing. Cut to a view of the tarmac. Several jets are parked at their gates. Cut inside the cargo bay of a jet. The cargo door opens, and a baggage handler comes up the loading ramp and steps in. He notices that the cargo nets have been torn open, and takes off his headphones.", "Handler: What the hell? He looks closer and suspects someone's there.", "Handler: Hey, you're not supposed to be in here! He pulls out his flashlight and holds it ready to use as a club.", "Handler: Hey, c'mon! He walks in further, looking for whoever it is. He sees a shadow moving behind a baggage container. Suddenly a foot comes up and kicks him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. He falls onto his back unconscious. The person walks toward the cargo door and peeks out. It's a young Caribbean girl with long curly hair tied back and large hoop earrings. She makes her way out of the plane, keeping a careful watch for anyone who might see her.", "Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Willow, Buffy and Xander are sitting at the table.", "Willow: So Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slayed last night? Or is it slew?", "Giles: (comes out of the stacks with a National Geographic magazine) Both are correct, and, yes, I'm sure. Du Lac was both a, a... a theologian and a mathematician. (comes down the stairs) This article describes an invention of his, which he called 'The Du Lac Cross'.", "Xander: So, why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'da gone with 'The Cross-o- matic', or, uh, 'The Amazing Mr. Cross'. The girls just stare at him. He looks up at Giles and nods. Giles doesn't think his musings are funny either.", "Giles: The cross was more than a mere symbol, (hands the open magazine to Willow) it was used to understand certain mystical texts, to, uh, decipher hidden meanings and so forth.", "Buffy: So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for your basic decoder ring?", "Giles: (taken aback by the metaphor) Uh, actually, yes, I, I suppose I am.", "Willow: According to this, Du Lac destroyed every cross except the one buried with him.", "Buffy: Why destroy your own work?", "Giles: (paces) Perhaps he feared what might happen if it fell into the wrong hands.", "Xander: A fear we'll soon get to experience for ourselves up close and personal.", "Giles: U-unless we can preempt their plans.", "Willow: How?", "Giles: Uh, by learning what's in the book before they do. Which means we can expect to be here later tonight. (sits)", "Willow: (smiles broadly) Goody! Research party!", "Xander: Will, you need a life in the worst way.", "Buffy: (gets up) Speaking of, I really have to bail, but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay.", "Giles: This is a matter of some urgency, Buffy.", "Buffy: I realize that. Well, you have to admit, I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains, I'd only be here for moral support anyway.", "Xander: That's untrue, Buffy, you totally contribute. You go for snacks! Buffy looks to Willow for help.", "Willow: She *should* go. Y-y'know, gather her strength.", "Giles: Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead. Buffy makes tracks for the door.", "Xander: But Ho-Hos are a vital part of my cognitive process!", "Buffy: (smiles back at him) Sorry, Xand. Someplace I have to be. Giles and Xander give each other a look.", "Cut to the ice skating rink. The place is empty except for Buffy skating gracefully by herself. She makes use of the whole rink, doing practiced turns and spins. A minute later Buffy skates quickly by the staging area, and the camera stops to focus on a stage panel begin pushed open. The one-eyed bounty hunter looks in at her.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The ice-skating rink. Buffy skates along, still by herself. She does a crouching maneuver, but wipes out and slides backward against the sidewall. As she starts to get up the bounty hunter reaches down, puts his arm around her neck and lifts her off of the ice. He lays her down on the railing and begins to choke her. Buffy tries to pry his hands from her throat as she struggles to breathe. Angel comes running across the ice, sporting his game face.", "Angel: Buffy! He leaps and tackles the bounty hunter, knocking him off of Buffy. She falls from the railing onto the ice with her knee. Angel lifts the bounty hunter to his feet and punches him in the face. The bounty hunter isn't fazed, and returns with a double-fisted punch to Angel's stomach, sending him back into the wall. Angel comes off the wall and jabs him in the face again, but the bounty hunter just shrugs it off. He punches Angel in the face and gut, making him stagger into the wall again. The bounty hunter grabs Angel by the throat and lifts him up. Buffy comes skating toward them at a fast pace. The bounty hunter turns to face her. She grabs a net that's hanging there and uses it to swing up with her foot and hit him in the throat with the blade of her skate, crushing his trachea. He lets go of Angel and grabs his own neck, unable to breathe. He takes a few steps onto the ice and collapses there, dead.", "Cut to Drusilla's bed. She takes the tarot card of the Cyclops and turns it over.", "Drusilla: He's passing under our feet right now.", "Spike: No worries. We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time.", "Drusilla: Time is ours. It brings the Slayer closer to them. The camera pans from the face down card over to the other two, still turned face up.", "Cut to the skating rink. Buffy rubs her knee. Angel crouches over the bounty hunter and lifts his hand to inspect his ring.", "Buffy: The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for. Angel looks closely at the ring.", "Angel: You're in danger. You know what the ring means?", "Buffy: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?", "Angel: (annoyed) I'm serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me. He drops the bounty hunter's hand and stands up. He still has his game face on. Buffy skates over to him.", "Angel: Are you okay? She puts her gloved hand on his cheek and sees the cut above his eye.", "Buffy: What about you? That cut! (lowers her hand)", "Angel: Forget about me. This is bad, Buffy. We gotta get you outta here.", "Buffy: What, you mean hide?", "Angel: Let's just get you someplace safe!", "Buffy: No! Your eye! She reaches back up to him and he shakes her off.", "Buffy: Hey! Don't be a baby. I'm not gonna hurt you.", "Angel: It's not that. I...", "Buffy: What?", "Angel: You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this. She looks up into his vampire features.", "Buffy: Oh. She removes her glove and reaches up to touch his brow and his wound, brushing gently across and down his cheek.", "Buffy: I didn't even notice. She moves closer to kiss him. He responds, and they kiss gently. The kiss becomes more passionate as she reaches her hand behind his neck to draw him closer. Off to the side the girl from the airport walks up and stops, observing their kiss. Angel puts his arms around Buffy, and she rises up onto the tips of her skates to get even closer.", "Cut to the library. Giles inspects the ring under a magnifying lamp. Buffy is sitting on the steps holding an icepack to her knee. Willow and Xander are at the table.", "Buffy: This guy was hard-core, Giles. And Angel was power-freaked by that ring.", "Giles: I'm afraid he was not overreacting. This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Taraka. It's a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon. (sits)", "Xander: And didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale adult bowling league championships?", "Giles: Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary.", "Xander: Bowling is a vicious game.", "Giles: (very annoyed) That's enough, Xander! Xander looks down in shame. Buffy and Willow look concerned and upset.", "Giles: Sorry. It's just not the time for jokes. I need to think. (takes off his glasses)", "Buffy: These assassins, why are they after me?", "Willow: 'Cause you're the scourge of the underworld?", "Buffy: I haven't been that scourgey lately.", "Giles: (rubbing his eyes) I don't know, I don't know. (exhales) I think the best thing we can do is to find a secure location. Somewhere out of the way you can go until we decide on the best course of action.", "Buffy: (gets up) Okay, now you and Angel have both said to head for the hills. Are you saying I can't handle this, that I'm not strong enough to fight these people?", "Giles: They're a breed apart, Buffy. U-unlike vampires they have no earthly desires, (Willow listens in shock) but to collect their bounty. They find a target, and, uh... they eliminate it. (Buffy absorbs this solemnly) You can kill as many of them as you like, it won't make any difference. Where there's one, there will be another, and another. They won't stop coming until the job is done.", "Cut to a view of Buffy's house through binoculars from Mrs. Kalish's house.", "Giles: Each one of them works alone.", "Cut to Norman looking through his binoculars.", "Giles: His own way.", "Cut to the floor. Mrs. Kalish is lying there dead. A trail of mealworms leads from her over to Norman sitting in a chair.", "Giles: Some are human, some... a-are not. Y-you won't know who they are until they strike. Norman takes the binoculars from his eyes. There are mealworms crawling over his shoes. His hand and part of his forearm are missing, and the mealworms crawl all over it. They quickly form a hand, and it takes on the appearance of human skin. He reaches over to a cup of tea and lifts it to take a sip.", "Cut to the halls at school. Buffy is wigged and tense as she walks down the hall. She holds her hands to the back of her neck and shoulders. She jumps when a boy barges through the doors in the hall in front of her. She walks through the doors and scans the students in the hall, paranoid about them looking at her. The police recruiter looks at her, and she stares back. A teacher comes down the stairs in front of her and looks at her as he runs a comb through his hair. Several students walk past her, giving her the occasional glance. Behind her Oz comes walking at a quick pace. She hears a locker slam behind her and spins toward the noise, notices Oz quickly bearing down on her, takes him by the neck and shoves him into the wall.", "Buffy: Try it!", "Oz: (confused) Try what? She realizes she's made a mistakes and lets go of his neck.", "Buffy: Uh... (exhales) I-I'm sorry.", "Oz: Still not clear what I'm supposed to try.", "Buffy: Nothing. God, I'm... sorry, I... She steps away from him, looks both ways down the hall and quickly heads off in the direction she was going. Oz moves away from the wall and shudders.", "Oz: That is a tense person.", "Cut to Buffy's street at night. Buffy walks home alone, arms crossed and scanning the area around her. When she reaches her house she stops and just stares at it. She thinks better of going inside, looks around again and continues on.", "Cut to the library. Giles walks out of his office cleaning his glasses. Willow is sitting at the counter going through a volume.", "Willow: I wish there was more we could do.", "Giles: We're doing all that we can. (puts on his glasses) The only course of action is to try and find out what was in that stolen book.", "(reads a card from the catalog)", "Willow: I've never seen Buffy like that. She just took off.", "Xander: (coming in) Well, she didn't go home. I let the phone ring a few hundred times before I remembered her mom is out of town.", "Giles: Well, maybe Buffy unplugged the phone.", "Xander: No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone.", "Willow nods in agreement.", "Giles: Well, perhaps my words of caution were... a little too alarming.", "Xander: (with heavy sarcasm) Ya think?", "Willow: It's good that she took you seriously, Giles. I just wish we knew where she was.", "Cut to the hall outside Angel's apartment. Buffy comes down the stairs and walks over to his door. There's no answer when she knocks.", "Buffy: Angel? She tries the doorknob, but it's locked. Cut inside. She twists the knob hard, breaking it and opening the door. She slowly comes in, has a look around and closes the door. She turns on the lights. The apartment is sparsely furnished. A modern desk strewn with papers is against the far wall with a dozen old pictures hanging on the wall around it. The floor is bare concrete, and her heels click quietly as she slowly walks over to an ivory statue enclosed in a glass display case. She looks at it a moment before going on. She looks around as she continues, and passes an elegant antique armoire. Finally she finds his unmade bed, and slowly goes over to it and sits down. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, weary from the day's events. A moment later she lays herself down on the bed, resting her head on his pillow and curling up. She hugs her arms close to her heart and falls asleep.", "Cut to a sleazy bar. Willy is sweeping up the place after hours. Angel appears in the shadow of the doorway.", "Willy: We're closed! Can't you read the sign? Angel steps into the light.", "Willy: Oh, uh... hey, Angel. I didn't recognize you in the dark there. What, uh... what can I do for you tonight?", "Angel: I need some information.", "Willy: Yeah? Man, that's too bad, 'cause... I'm stayin' away from that whole scene. I'm livin' right, Angel. Angel slowly walks past the booths over to the pinball machine.", "Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.", "Willy: C'mon, man. Don't be that way! I-I treat you vamps good! I-I-I-I don't hassle you, you don't hassle me... We all enjoy the patronage of this establishment. Everybody's happy, right?", "Angel: Who sent them?", "Willy: Who sent who?", "Angel: (stops at the pinball machine) The Order of Taraka.", "Willy: I-I... I tell ya, I haven't been in the loop.", "Angel: Let's try again. The Order of Taraka, they're after the Slayer.", "(crosses over to the bar)", "Willy: C'mon, man.", "Angel: Was it Spike? (steps toward Willy)", "Willy: Look, Angel, I-I got some good pigs' blood in, good stuff, my fence said...", "Angel grabs Willy and smacks his head into the bar. Willy knocks a half- empty pitcher of beer onto the floor. Angel presses down hard on Willy's head with his hand.", "Willy: Damn it! Ah...", "Angel: You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while.", "Willy: Oh, Spike will draw and quarter me, man!", "Angel: I'll take care of Spike.", "Willy: You know he ordered those guys! Spike's sick of your girl getting in his way!", "Angel: Where can I find him?", "Willy: I tell you that, I'm gonna need relocating expenses! It'll cost you!", "Angel: (presses harder) It'll cost who?", "Willy: Okay! Okay! He and that freaky chick of his are... He is interrupted by someone kicking Angel in the face. Angel falls back onto the floor dazed and looks up at his attacker. It's the girl from the airport. She grabs Willy's broom, breaks the end of the handle off and attacks Angel with the makeshift stake. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Willy's bar. Angel rolls out of the way of the girl's thrust. Willy takes the opportunity to flee the bar. Angel is up again, and he ducks a swing from her. She tries a direct thrust, which Angel just pushes aside, but she follows it up with a punch to the face from her other hand and uses her momentum to spin around for a roundhouse kick, knocking him through the door into the back room. He crashes into several cases of beer. When he gets back up he's vamped out. The girl charges him with the stake held above her head in both hands. He blocks her charge with his arms and twists her arms down, forcing her to drop the stake, and shoves her into a bank of lockers. He tries to knock her legs out from under her, but her footing is firm and she kicks him in the back, knocking him down instead. Once down he tries kicking again, and this time makes her fall. She grabs his shirt, pulls him up a bit and kicks him in the face. They both scramble to their feet. Angel swings and misses. He swings the other way, but she blocks it and punches him three times in the gut and then a right hook to his jaw. She shoves him into the door of the cage. He bounces off of it and she kicks him in the chest, making him stumble backward through the cage door and into a bunch of empty water bottles. Several cans fall onto him from a shelf above. She looks at him with cold eyes as he recovers from his fall.", "Angel: Who are you? If you tell me what I need to know I won't hurt you. She laughs as she steps back.", "Angel: You think this is funny? She swings closed the cage door and sets the bolt. Angel scrambles to his feet and slams up against the door.", "Kendra: I tink it is funny now. Dat girl. De one I saw you wit before?", "Angel: You stay away from her.", "Kendra: I'm afraid you are not in a position to treaten.", "Angel: When I get outta here I'll do more than threaten!", "Kendra: Den I suggest ya move quickly. (looks up at the windows) Eastern exposure. De sun will be comin' in a few hours. (padlocks the cage) More dan enough time for me to find your girlfriend. Angel screams in anger and slams the cage with his hand.", "Cut to the library after sunrise. Giles is at his desk studying a book while holding the phone, waiting for Xander to answer.", "Giles: Xander? (pauses) No, no, I-I haven't heard from Buffy yet. Look, look, I-I-I think you should go to her house and check on her. (pauses) Well, ri-right a, right away. (pauses) I-I-I don't know, get Cordelia to drive you. He hangs up without waiting for a response. He picks up the book he's reading and heads back into the main room with it. There he sees Willow asleep in front of the PC with her head resting on the keyboard. He closes his book, crouches slightly and gently places his hand on her shoulder to wake her.", "Giles: (quietly) Willow? Willow wakes with a start and sits bolt upright.", "Willow: Don't warn the tadpoles!", "Giles: Are you alright?", "Willow: Giles, what are you doing here?", "Giles: It's the library, Willow. You fell asleep.", "Willow: (looks around) Oh! I...", "Giles: Don't warn the tadpoles?", "Willow: (groggy) I... I have frog fear.", "Giles: Oh.", "Willow: I'm sorry. I conked out.", "Giles: What? Please. You've gone quite beyond the call of duty. (sits) But, but, I-I... uh, fortunately, I think I may have found something finally.", "Willow: You did?", "Giles: I-I found a-a description of the missing Du Lac manuscript. It's a ritual, Willow. Now, I-I, uh... (gets up to pace) I haven't managed to decipher the exact details, but I-I... I believe the purpose is to restore a weak and sick vampire back to full health.", "Willow: A vampire like Drusilla?", "Giles: Exactly.", "Cut to Drusilla's room. Dalton slams the Du Lac manuscript shut and hands Spike his handwritten pages of translation. Spike looks at it, reads a bit and smiles.", "Spike: By George, I think he's got it! (walks to Drusilla in bed) The key to your cure, ducks. The missing bloody link, it was...", "Drusilla: (weakly) ...Right, right in front of us... the whole time. She takes Spike's hand and pulls it down to her deck of tarot cards. The top card is a picture of an angel.", "Cut to the street in front of Buffy's house. Xander and Cordelia walk up to her house.", "Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?", "Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.", "Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi *and* your punching bag.", "Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way. He takes the steps up to the porch and knocks on the door. He looks in through the glass.", "Xander: Buffy! When he doesn't see anyone stirring inside he walks over to the window.", "Xander: C'mon, Cordelia. You wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then. (tries a window)", "Cordelia: Oh, right, 'cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends. Xander tries another window.", "Cordelia: And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man.", "Xander: (gets the window open) Buffy could be in trouble. (steps through the window)", "Cordelia: And what if she is exactly? What are you gonna do about it? In case you haven't noticed, (he opens the door for her) you're the lameness and she's the super chick, or whatever.", "Xander: Well, at least I'm the lameness who cares, which is more than I can say about you. (into the house) Buffy! I'm gonna check upstairs. Cordelia comes in and closes the door behind her. Xander climbs the stairs.", "Xander: Buffy? Cordelia spins her keys around as she walks into the living room and looks around. She hears a knocking at the door and goes to answer it. When she opens it Norman is standing there.", "Norman: Good day. I'm Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful (holds up his case) Skin Care and Cosmetics. I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples?", "Cordelia: (smiles) Free? She steps aside to admit him and closes the door.", "Cut to the back room at the bar. Sunlight is streaming through the window and is starting to shine into the cage. Angel slams against the door, trying to break it open, but can't get it to budge. He tries prying at the top, but no luck. He pushes against the door again.", "Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy is sleeping on his bed. She stirs and wakes. She hears a noise, opens her eyes to look up and immediately rolls to the far side of the bed as a hatchet strikes the pillow where her head was. It's Kendra, and she swings again and hits the mattress when Buffy sidesteps the blow. Buffy does a flip over Kendra's back and onto the floor behind her, ready to fight.", "Buffy: You must be number two!" ]

[ "While Career Week drags on at Sunnydale High, Buffy and Kendra form an uneasy alliance to stop Spike from sacrificing Angel, whose blood, ritually spilled when the moon is full, is Drusilla's only cure. The Slayers bring Spike's plan, to host a massive killing spree for Dru's \"coming out party,\" down around his ears." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Angel's apartment. Buffy and Kendra are faced off, ready to continue their fight.", "Buffy: (out of breath) Okay, one more time. You're the who?!", "Kendra: I'm de Slayer.", "Buffy: Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.", "Kendra: Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.", "Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!", "Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.", "Buffy: Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.", "Kendra: Wiggy?", "Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o? Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses her arms.", "Kendra: I accept your scenario.", "Buffy: So. You were sent here?", "Kendra: Yes, by my Watcher.", "Buffy: To do what, exactly?", "Kendra: To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.", "Cut to the back room at Willy's bar. The camera pans from the window over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the window. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Kendra stands at attention as Giles paces. Buffy just leans on a chair with her left hand and has her right hand on her hip.", "Giles: And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?", "Kendra: Yes, sir.", "Giles: We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.", "Buffy: What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?", "Giles: And you are called...?", "Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.", "Buffy: We got that part, hon. He means your name.", "Kendra: Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.", "Buffy: (haughty) Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?", "Giles: Buffy, please. Uh, there's obviously some, some misunderstanding here. Willow comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra marches around Buffy to intercept her.", "Willow: (greets them) Hey!", "Kendra: Identify yourself! Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.", "Buffy: Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.", "Kendra: Friend?", "Buffy: Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?", "Kendra: I don't understand.", "Buffy: (to Giles, exasperated) You try. I'm tapped. (sits)", "Giles: Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians if you like, who, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them, a-a- and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.", "Kendra: And you allow dis, sir?", "Giles: Well, uh...", "Kendra: But de Slayer must work in secret for security.", "Giles: Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it's, um, some flexibility is required. Buffy gives Giles a look.", "Kendra: Why?", "Willow: (confused) Hi, guys. W-what's goin' on? (goes to sit across from Buffy)", "Buffy: Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.", "Giles: Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.", "Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?", "Giles: Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. Uh... (realizes) Oh, good Lord! You were dead, Buffy.", "Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.", "Giles: Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer.", "(nods toward Kendra)", "Kendra: She died?", "Buffy: Just a little.", "Giles: She drowned, but she was revived.", "Willow: So there really are two of them!", "Giles: It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed. (sits)", "Buffy: What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.", "Kendra: I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in", "Sunnydale.", "Buffy: (gets up) And what's your great plan for finding this dark power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?", "Kendra: Of course not.", "Buffy: Then why the hell did you attack me?", "Kendra: I tought you were a vampire.", "Buffy: Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie. (walks around Kendra to Willow)", "Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?", "Willow: (stands up in her defense) Buffy would never do that! (realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right? (sits again)", "Buffy: Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a vampire, but he's good.", "Kendra: Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.", "Giles: No, no, no, he's, he's good now.", "Willow: (smiles) Really!", "Buffy: He had a gypsy curse.", "Kendra: He has a what?", "Buffy: Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.", "Kendra: I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I...", "Buffy: When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?", "Kendra: I...", "Buffy: What did you do?!", "Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Angel leans against the back wall, weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. He's unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike walks into the light from the shadows.", "Willy: There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so. Two of Spike's thugs arrive to drag Angel away. Willy holds up his hands to stop them.", "Willy: Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?", "Spike: (pulls out a wad of cash) What's the matter, Willy? Don't you trust me? (starts handing him bills)", "Willy: Oh, yeah. Like a brother. Spike slaps him across the cheek.", "Spike: Talk and I'll have your guts for garters.", "Willy: Wild horses couldn't drag it. Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.", "Spike: Oops! Sorry, friend. Willy bends over to pick up the bill as the two thugs grab Angel and drag him off.", "Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?", "Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know. He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again.", "Cut to Buffy's house. Cut to the foyer. Norman's case is open and Cordelia is going through the samples.", "Cordelia: Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.", "Norman: Nine ninety-nine, tax included.", "Cordelia: You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?", "Norman: Are there more ladies in the house?", "Cordelia: Oh, no, they're not home. (faces him) You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... some... She sees a mealworm crawl out of his sleeve and onto his hand. Xander comes back down the stairs and sees Norman. Cordelia slowly backs away from him.", "Xander: Hey, what's up?", "Cordelia: Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!", "Xander: (reaches up to guide him out) Okay, Mary Kay, time to... Another mealworm crawls across Norman's cheek and into his right ear. Xander backs away.", "Xander: Time to run! He breaks into a run, guiding Cordelia away with him as Norman transforms into a mass of mealworms. They quickly crawl across the floor. Xander and Cordelia run into the kitchen for the back door, but Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia screams, and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall. They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind them. The mealworms try to come under the door, but they stomp on them.", "Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door! He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door with it.", "Cordelia: Uhh... (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don't do worms. He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the broom into her hands.", "Xander: Cover me! She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.", "Cordelia: Eww! Eh! Eh!", "Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Buffy barges through the door.", "Buffy: Angel?! Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.", "Kendra: No ashes.", "Buffy: What?", "Kendra: When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.", "Buffy: Yeah, I know the drill.", "Kendra: So I did not kill him.", "Buffy: And I don't need to kill *you*. Willy shows up at the door.", "Willy: Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room. Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the floor.", "Buffy: Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from? Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready to punch.", "Kendra: Dis one is dirty! I can *feel* it!", "Buffy: That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, (lifts him up) but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, (slams him into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where's Angel?", "Willy: My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.", "Buffy: Where'd he go?", "Willy: Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.", "Buffy: Are you telling me the truth?", "Willy: I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid.", "Kendra: Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.", "Buffy: (lets go of Willy) I don't take orders. I do things my way.", "Kendra: No wonder you died.", "Buffy: (ignores the comment) Let's go. They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.", "Willy: I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked. Buffy and Kendra exchange a look and just walk out without a word.", "Willy: You don't have to answer right away.", "Cut to Drusilla's bed. She's asleep. Spike bends over her and strokes her hair. She wakes.", "Drusilla: (moans) I was dreaming.", "Spike: Of what, pet?", "Drusilla: We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.", "Spike: I brought you something. He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.", "Drusilla: And there were worms in my baguette.", "Spike: (drags Angel in) Your sire, my sweet. (dumps him on the floor)", "Drusilla: My Angel?", "Spike: (comes back to the bed) The one and only. Now all we need's the full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored. (takes her hand, whispers) My black goddess. (kisses her hand) My ripe, (works his way up her arm) wicked plum. (raises his head) It's been...", "Drusilla: Forever. They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.", "Drusilla: Spike, let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.", "Spike: (smiles) Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.", "Drusilla: Bring him to me. Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She grabs him by the chin and looks him in the eye.", "Drusilla: You've been a very bad daddy. She slaps him across the face. Angel is powerless to do anything. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High. Giles, Kendra, Willow and Buffy come down the outside stairs and head into the halls.", "Giles: Kendra, I-I've, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike and Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.", "Buffy: Oh, that'll be a treat.", "Kendra: So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?", "Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, absolutely no telling what she might do.", "Kendra: Den we will stop Spike.", "Buffy: Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!", "Giles: Buffy...", "Buffy: It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.", "Giles: Yes, I'm, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.", "Kendra: De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.", "Giles: Oh, really? W-w-which volume? They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.", "Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.", "Buffy: Um, how do you know all this?", "Kendra: From me studies.", "Buffy: So, obviously you have a lot of free time.", "Kendra: I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer handbook insists on it.", "Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?", "Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?", "Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? (gets a look from Buffy) 'Cause that would be cool... (rolls her eyes)", "Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.", "Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?", "Giles: Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.", "Kendra: (smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes. Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.", "Buffy: (to Willow) Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.", "Giles: Oh, well, B-Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after you.", "Buffy: (stops) Eee. Career fair.", "Giles: Best make an appearance, I think.", "Buffy: Right.", "Kendra: Buffy's a student here?", "Giles: Yes.", "Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.", "Giles: Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading. (gets a look from Kendra) Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually. Uh, uh, let's go and find the book, shall we? The two of them head off to the library. Buffy and Willow continue their walk.", "Buffy: Get a load of the she-Giles.", "Willow: Creepy.", "Buffy: Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.", "Willow: Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.", "Buffy: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume six, ha, ha, ha!", "Willow: Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.", "Buffy: I wonder.", "Willow: Of course, you will. You're *his* Slayer. The *real* Slayer.", "Buffy: No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.", "Willow: You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?", "Buffy: Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to Disneyland.'", "Willow: But not forever, right?", "Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.", "Cut to Buffy's basement. Cordelia is pacing.", "Xander: Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.", "Cordelia: (leans on the washer) Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a *plan*.", "Xander: I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.", "Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?", "Xander: Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.", "Cordelia: Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for the stairs)", "Xander: (gets up to stop her) What are you doin'?", "Cordelia: (stops and faces him) Going to see if he's gone!", "Xander: That's brilliant! What if he isn't?", "Cordelia: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else *decides* to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms)", "Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!", "Cordelia: HE LOOKED NORMAL!", "Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!", "Cordelia: You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I'm going. Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the foot of the stairs and faces him again.", "Cordelia: I'd rather be worm food than look at *your* pathetic face!", "Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping ya!", "Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!", "Xander: Not just any girl. (nods) You're special.", "Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!", "Xander: I *hope* these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna... (steps closer)", "Cordelia: (steps closer) I'm gonna what? Coward!", "Xander: Moron!", "Cordelia: I *hate* you!", "Xander: I HATE YOU! They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in surprise.", "Xander: We *so* need to get outta here.", "Cordelia: (nods) Mm-hm! She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of the tape and pulls it off. There aren't any worms on the other side. Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.", "Cordelia: He's gone. Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining room. The coast looks clear, so Xander makes a dash for the front door. Cordelia follows a moment later, and when she comes through the dining room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door. Cut outside. Xander throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows him out, screaming.", "Cordelia: Xander, oh my God! Get them off of me! Xander turns to look.", "Cordelia: Get 'em off! He runs for the hose.", "Cordelia: (terrified) Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, get 'em off me!", "(screams)", "Xander grabs the hose and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She keeps screaming and turns her back to him, then her front again. He keeps spraying as she tries to brush them off. She turns around again to let him spray her back again and reaches down the back of her dress to get some mealworms out. She turns back around.", "Cordelia: Okay, okay, let's get outta here! Xander, let's go! He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests.", "Cordelia: Okay! Let's go! She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another instant, then drops it and follows her. Cut to a close-up of her license plate, \"QUEEN C\". She floors it, and they burn rubber into the street. Further down the block she screeches round the corner.", "Cut to the halls at the school. Buffy and Willow stroll along past the career fair displays.", "Buffy: My tests say that I should look into law enforcement -- duh! -- and environmental design.", "Willow: Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?", "Buffy: I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law enforcement it is. They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy looks around and notices Oz looking over at Willow.", "Buffy: (to Willow) Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... (Willow looks) No, don't look! (smiles) That guy over there is totally checking you out.", "Willow: (looks with her eyes) Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity. Oz gets up and starts to walk over.", "Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now? Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.", "Buffy: Told you! (makes a discreet exit)", "Oz: Hey.", "Willow: (smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!", "Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?", "Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. What about you?", "Oz: I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.", "Willow: They why'd they select you?", "Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.", "Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?", "Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.", "Willow: Huh?", "Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger. Willow nods, pretending to understand.", "Cut to Buffy. She signs up at the law enforcement table and joins the group. Patrice, the recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and looks it over.", "Patrice: Alright, listen up, and answer when I call your name. Buffy Summers. Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down. Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air as the first round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps struggling with the officer, and another round goes into the ceiling. She knees her in the gut, and she drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice gets to her knees and pulls out her backup gun. Another bullet flies at Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at everyone.", "Buffy: GET DOWN! She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy with her aim.", "Oz: LOOK OUT! He lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the next bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn't see her, but senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the wall to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the other corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets back to her knees, pulls out her small ankle backup and aims it at Buffy as she stands back up. Before she can get off a round Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She follows it up with a kick to Patrice's face, making her fall flat on her back. She makes her stand next to Buffy. Patrice grabs Jonathon as a hostage, pulls out a short blade and threatens him with it. The two girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathon and makes a dash for the door. Kendra doesn't hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.", "Buffy: How is he?", "Willow: He's shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?", "Oz: I, uh, I'm shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y'know. (laughs) Wow! It's odd! And painful. Buffy gets up again when Kendra shows back up.", "Kendra: She's gone.", "Jonathon: W-was that a demonstration? Buffy looks around at the scene.", "Cut to the library. Giles has the first-aid kit out, and Willow is wrapping Buffy's knee.", "Buffy: She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun happy.", "Giles: This, um, Oz chap, he, he, he's alright?", "Willow: The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness. Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra tries to head them off.", "Buffy: Down, girl!", "Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?", "Giles: (on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.", "Xander: You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king *freak* of the... (sees Kendra) Hello. Kendra looks at the floor, humbling herself before Xander.", "Giles: Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it's rather complicated, but she's also a Slayer.", "Cordelia: (heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.", "Xander: A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.", "Buffy: (hops off of the counter) Just say hello, Xander. (makes for the table with Willow)", "Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.", "Kendra: (nervous) Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.", "Xander: (looks at the others) Great! (to Kendra) Good. It's good to be a giver. (goes to the table)", "Giles: Xander, um, this, this, uh, assassin you encountered, what, uh, what did he look like? Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto a book on the table and gets up.", "Cordelia: Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I'm showering! (runs from the library)", "Xander: (indicates the mealworm) Like that.", "Buffy: You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?", "Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man *of* bugs, not a man who *was* a bug. He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.", "Giles: The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody's alright. Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.", "Buffy: These Taraka are definitely serious. (looks at Kendra) Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.", "Giles: And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I've, I-I've discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The, uh, the ritual requires that, the presence of her sire, and it must take place in a church on the night of the new moon. Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.", "Kendra: The new moon. But that is tonight.", "Giles: Exactly. And I-I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy before she could put a stop to things.", "Buffy: They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?", "Giles: Yes.", "Willow: Buffy, what is it?", "Buffy: (looks down) Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.", "Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day! Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.", "Buffy: Will this ritual kill him?", "Giles: Yes, I'm afraid it will.", "Buffy: We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual is gonna take place!", "Giles: Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have five hours before sundown.", "Willow: (opens her laptop) Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.", "Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!", "Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.", "Buffy: Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my way?", "Kendra: (considers) I'm wit you.", "Buffy: Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Drusilla's room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and takes out a small crystal pitcher.", "Drusilla: The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw. She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by both wrists high above his head.", "Drusilla: She said she loved the way they made her mouth... (runs her hand down and up his chest) tingle. Little Anne. She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.", "Drusilla: Her favorite was custard... brandied pears.", "Angel: Dru...", "Drusilla: (sternly) Shhh! (stands up) And pomegranates. (climbs onto the bed behind Angel) They used to make her face and fingers aaall red. She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream out loud.", "Drusilla: Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?", "Angel: (shivering in pain) If I could...", "Drusilla: (interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats out. She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams out loud in agony.", "Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits down next to her.", "Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping)", "Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder. Giles offers her a mint, and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.", "Giles: Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.", "Xander: Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or police lady. Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.", "Giles: Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole section devoted to the Order of Taraka.", "Cut to Giles' office. Kendra looks through the window at them doing their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.", "Kendra: And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?", "Buffy: Yep.", "Kendra: Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means? (goes to the desk)", "Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. (Kendra picks up the crossbow) Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!", "Kendra: Please. I'm an expert in all weapons. The bolt flies off of the crossbow and breaks a lamp. Buffy startles. Giles heard the noise from the main room.", "Giles: Is everything alright?", "Buffy: Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.", "Kendra: Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.", "Buffy: When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.", "Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the bug dude.", "Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo. Giles and Willow come over to have a look. Xander reads in another book.", "Xander: Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. (to Cordelia) Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his liiittle buggy parts.", "Cordelia: I know what it means, *dorkhead*.", "Xander: (takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words! Giles rubs his eyes. Willow raises her eyebrows at them.", "Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.", "Kendra: Your life is very different dan mine.", "Buffy: You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is. (carves at a stake)", "Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.", "Buffy: Even family?", "Kendra: My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.", "Buffy: How young?", "Kendra: I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?", "Buffy: I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.", "Kendra: Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.", "Buffy: Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!", "Kendra: (picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind. (wipes the blade)", "Buffy: (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.", "Kendra: Explains what?", "Buffy: (plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than mine.", "Kendra: I know.", "Buffy: Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No imagination.", "Kendra: (rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down the rag)", "Buffy: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts away the stake)", "Kendra: (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!", "Buffy: (looks Kendra in the eye) That would be anger you're feeling.", "Kendra: What?", "Buffy: You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that. They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.", "Xander: Excuse me, ladies. Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk. Xander notices her knife.", "Xander: Nice knife. (leaves the office)", "Buffy: I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.", "Kendra: I'm not permitted to speak with boys.", "Buffy: Unless you're pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.", "Kendra: What?", "Buffy: That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.", "Kendra: You tink he might help us?", "Buffy: I tink we might make him!", "Cut to Drusilla's room. She is kneeling between Angel's spread-apart legs and holds the little pitcher of holy water above him.", "Drusilla: Say 'Uncle'. (lowers the pitcher) Oh, that's right, you killed my uncle. She is about to pour some onto his chest again when Spike comes in.", "Spike: That's it, then. (Drusilla looks up at him) Off to church.", "Drusilla: (stands up) It makes pretty colors.", "Spike: Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show. He reaches up to untie one of Angel's bonds while Drusilla puts away the holy water and gets Miss Edith.", "Angel: Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.", "Spike: What's that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond)", "Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean. Drusilla has come back to stand behind Spike's shoulder, and he turns his head to face her.", "Spike: Well?", "Drusilla: (to Angel) Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.", "Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased. Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.", "Spike: Keep your hole shut! (stands over him)", "Angel: Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied.", "Spike: I said SHUT UP! He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him against the bedpost.", "Angel: Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.", "Spike: That's enough. He pounds his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla's bed, grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.", "Drusilla: Spike, no! Spike holds back. Angel tries to goad him on with a stare. Drusilla steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles up to him.", "Drusilla: Shhh.", "Spike: Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel's throat)", "Drusilla: Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.", "Spike: Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the rest of this miserable town. He keeps holding Angel against the bedpost as he and Drusilla engage in a passionate kiss.", "Cut to Willy's bar. Buffy shoves him up against the shelves of liquor bottles.", "Willy: Ah! Honest! I don't know where Angel is!", "Buffy: What about this ritual? What have you heard?", "Willy: N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!", "Kendra: Just hit him, Buffy!", "Buffy: (to Willy) She likes to hit.", "Willy: You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there.", "Buffy: Let's go. (starts to drag him out of the bar)", "Kendra: First we must return to de Watcher.", "Buffy: (stops) Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could go down!", "Kendra: But it is procedure.", "Buffy: It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Angel could die.", "(starts out again)", "Kendra: Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?", "Buffy: (stops again) No, it's not all, but it's enough.", "Kendra: It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!", "Buffy: Are you listening to me? He could die!", "Kendra: He's a vampire. He *should* die. Why am I de only person who sees it?", "Buffy just stares at her a moment before turning around again and heading for the door with Willy in tow.", "Kendra: Are you dat big a fool? Buffy shoves Willy out ahead of her and leaves Kendra behind in the bar.", "Kendra: (exhales) Good riddance, den.", "Cut to the church. Cut inside. Willy leads her down an arched hallway.", "Willy: Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch. They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for them.", "Willy: Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch. Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar with a burning incense censer.", "Spike: Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity. He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped together to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. Angel's right hand is tied to the chain above his head.", "Spike: Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.", "Drusilla: Black medicine. Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross with his gloved hand.", "Spike: Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most impious, murderous child.", "Drusilla: Murderous child. He grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on the altar.", "Spike: From the blood of the sire she is risen. He takes Drusilla's left hand and raises it to Angel's, and she clasps it.", "Spike: From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again. With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through their hands. Angel screams in agony. A blindingly bright pink light emanates from their wounds. A pulse of energy spreads out, and then the light dies back down to a faint glimmer as Angel's strength begins to ebb from him into Drusilla. She droops backward, feeling Angel's energy flow into her.", "Spike: Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and remove to a low flame. Willy barges through the door and strides into the nave with the vampires and assassins escorting Buffy close behind.", "Willy: It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer. Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.", "Spike: (angry) Are you tripping?! You bring her here?! Now?!", "Willy: You said you wanted her. Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar.", "Spike: In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.", "Willy: Now, that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her dead or alive.", "Spike: You heard wrong, Willy.", "Buffy: (whispers) Angel.", "Spike: Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) It bugs me, too, seeing him like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he's got something you don't have.", "Buffy: (angry) What's that?", "Spike: Five minutes. Patrice! She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.", "Spike: Who the hell is this?! Kendra grabs him by the shirt.", "Buffy: It's your lucky day, Spike.", "Kendra: Two Slayers! (decks him)", "Buffy: No waiting! (jabs him) Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door, still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to- hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it. Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman and taunts him.", "Xander: Hey, larvae boy! (Norman sees him) Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, ya big cootie! Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still has the bucket in her hand.", "Xander: Welcome, my little pretties! Norman comes under the door as a mass of mealworms. Back inside Giles punches the vampire twice while Willow keeps holding on. Kendra jumps over Spike when he tries to knock her legs out from under her. She tries another roundhouse kick, but he blocks it. He uses the momentum of the block to spin around and hit her again. Patrice gets back up and comes for Buffy. She ducks a kick from Buffy and lunges at her with her blades, but Buffy handily blocks her. She swings at Buffy's face with one, but Buffy ducks out of the way. Out in the hall the mealworms have gotten stuck in the adhesive and Xander and Cordelia begin to stomp them. Inside Kendra swings at Spike and is blocked. Spike lands another hit on her. Buffy punches Patrice in the face and sends her staggering back into the wall again. Spike punches Kendra again, and follows up with a roundhouse kick. She hits the floor and scrambles back up again. Buffy notices her getting knocked around.", "Buffy: Switch! She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice, immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall a third time. Buffy faces Spike.", "Spike: I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.", "Buffy: Mutual. She blocks his thrust, then kicks him in the face and again in the gut. He doubles over and falls to the floor. In the hall Cordelia and Xander continue stomping away.", "Cordelia: Die! Die, die, die! Die! Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.", "Xander: I think he did, Cordy. She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face. She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.", "Spike: Where are you going? Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out of Angel and Drusilla's hands.", "Willy: Now, there's a way in which this isn't my fault!", "Spike: They tricked you.", "Willy: Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!", "Spike: Well, then I'll only kill you just this once. (goes for the bite)", "Drusilla: (weakly) Spike! Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar, grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake raised to kill him.", "Willow: Hold him steady! She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice, but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.", "Kendra: Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me *only* shirt! Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee, making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them ablaze.", "Xander: Look out!" ]

[ "Buffy returns home one evening to find her mother kissing a stranger in the kitchen. Joyce's date, Ted, turns abusive with Buffy, who accidentally kills him in self-defense. Believing herself guilty of manslaughter, the Slayer is heartily relieved to learn that Ted is a serial killer android targeting Joyce as his next wife/victim." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Buffy's street at night. Willow and Xander are walking ahead of her on their way to her house.", "Xander: You don't know what you're talking about.", "Willow: Xander, he was obviously in charge.", "Xander: He was a puppet! She was using him!", "Willow: He didn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself be used.", "Xander: Well, that was her genius! He didn't even know he was playing second fiddle. (turns behind him) Buffy.", "Buffy: Huh?", "Xander: Who was the real power? The Captain, or Tennille?", "Buffy: Ummm... Who are these people?", "Xander: The Captain and Tennille? Boy, somebody was raised in a culture-free environment!", "Buffy: I'm sorry. I was just...", "Willow: Thinking?", "Buffy: No, not thinking. Having a lot of happy non-thoughts. I love it when things are quiet around here.", "Xander: Yeah, with Spike and Drusilla out of the way, we've really been ridin' the mellow, and I am really jinxing the hell out of us by saying that.", "Buffy: Yeah, but we'll let you off this time. They turn down the walk to Buffy's house.", "Willow: So, we're pretty sure that there're not more Tarakan assassins coming our way?", "Buffy: Angel's sources say the contract's off.", "Xander: How *is* Angel? Pretend I care.", "Buffy: (smiles) Getting better.", "Willow: And you're loving playing nursemaid?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah!", "Xander: So, is it better than playing naughty stewardess?", "Buffy: Xander... He chuckles as they climb the steps to the porch. Buffy gets out her key and reaches up to put it in the door lock. When she pushes on it to insert it the door just swings in. Cut inside. Buffy stares in, concerned to find the door unlocked.", "Buffy: You guys wait here a second. She slowly walks in and looks around. After a few seconds she hears a glass fall and break in the kitchen and her mother cry out.", "Joyce: (from the kitchen) No! Buffy rushes through the dining room to the kitchen door and pushes it open.", "Buffy: Mom! There she catches her mother locked in an embrace with and kissing a man. They break off their kiss, and all three of them stare awkwardly at each other.", "Buffy: Oh, my... (exhales) I'm sorry, I... (exhales) I heard...", "Joyce: Uh, I-I-I broke a wineglass. Y-y-you're home early.", "Ted: Hi.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Joyce: (to Ted) Oh! Uh, this is my daughter, Buffy. (to Buffy) Buffy, this is Ted. Buffy just stares at him, unsure how to react. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at Buffy's house. Xander and Willow have been invited to stay for dinner. Ted is cooking. He opens the oven and slides in a baking sheet full of mini pizzas.", "Ted: Okay, here we go!", "Cut to outside the kitchen door. Joyce empties the dustpan full of broken glass into the trashcan.", "Buffy: So. All these late nights at the gallery recently I gather you were cataloging more than art.", "Joyce: Well, I... I've been looking for the right moment to introduce you two. He's a wonderful man. Buffy looks over her shoulder at Ted cooking.", "Ted: Sprinkle that on...", "Xander: Uh, a little more. Okay, more...", "Buffy: How'd you meet?", "Joyce: Oh, he sells, uh, computer software. He redid my entire system at the gallery, freed up a lot of my time.", "Buffy: To meet new people. And smooch them in my kitchen.", "Joyce: You weren't supposed to see that. Cut inside the kitchen. Ted takes the cast-iron pan from the stove, goes over to the island with it and scoops out several finished pizzas.", "Willow: I like my new nine-Gig hard drive.", "Ted: But you don't love it, 'cause without the DMA upgrade your computer's only half a rocket ship.", "Willow: Yeah, but who can afford the upgrades?", "Ted: Well, you can! I get the demos for free, I don't see why I shouldn't give 'em to you for the same price! Any friend of Buffy's... Willow squeals with delight. Xander munches on one of the mini pizzas.", "Ted: What?", "Xander: Oh, that's the sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker joy. Can I just say, this is the finest pizza *ever* on God's green Earth. What is your secret?", "Ted: Well, after you bake it, you fry it in herbs and olive oil, but you gotta use (knocks his pan) a cast-iron skillet. No room for compromise there. Buffy and Joyce come back into the kitchen.", "Xander: Y'know, you should market these things. I mean, you can get two, three hundred bucks apiece! Ted laughs at that and takes the plate with the pizzas over to Buffy.", "Ted: Hungry?", "Buffy: No, thanks.", "Ted: Buffy, I want to apologize. That wasn't how I wanted us to meet. I wanted it to be... perfect. I'm very fond of your mother, I guess that's pretty obvious. I know you're the most (gestures toward the picture of the two of them on the refrigerator) important thing in her life, and, well, gosh, that makes you pretty important to me, too. Joyce overheard and comes over to stand next to Ted.", "Joyce: Buffy, I really want you to be okay with this.", "Ted: Beg to differ: *we* really want you to be okay with this. They both smile at Buffy.", "Buffy: I'm okay.", "Joyce: You are?", "Buffy: I am. (smiles stiffly)", "Cut to the park. A picnic table stands there empty. Suddenly a vampire comes crashing down onto it, and it collapses underneath him. He shakes off the blow as he gets back up and comes at Buffy again. She grabs the metal lid from a trashcan while Giles looks on. She uses it as a shield to block the vampire's punch and then hits him over the head with it. He falls to his knee, but gets back up. She hits him with it again and he falls to his other knee and quickly gets up again. She hits him a third time and he staggers again.", "Giles: Buffy? I-I believe he's, he's, um... Buffy swings down with the lid from above onto the vampire's head. He just absorbs the blow and comes at her with a punch. She blocks the swing with the lid again and swings it around onto his head from above again. Giles winces at what he's seeing. Buffy blocks another punch, then discards the lid and kicks the vampire in the face.", "Giles: It, it's, it's staking time, really. Don't you think? Buffy kicks the vampire again and follows up with a punch to the jaw. Giles sits down on a bench to wait, holding his bag in his lap. Buffy throws a right jab to the vampire's face. She follows up with a kick to his knee, making the vampire fall to the ground. She pulls a stake out of her jacket and cleanly jams it into his chest and pulls it back out. The vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy looks around as she walks over to Giles.", "Buffy: Any others?", "Giles: Well, for their sakes, I certainly hope not.", "Buffy: What? I kill vampires, that's my job.", "Giles: Well, true, true, although you don't usually beat them into quite such a bloody pulp beforehand. Everything alright?", "Buffy: Yeah! Fine! She walks around him, steps up onto the bench and sits on the backrest.", "Buffy: I killed a vampire here on Wednesday. Why are they hanging out at the park?", "Giles: Well, they're... scattered, you know. Now their leaders are gone, with any luck dead. In times of crisis they usually return to the easiest feeding grounds.", "Buffy: Vampires are creeps.", "Giles: Yes, that's why one slays them.", "Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini pizzas, and everyone's like, 'I like your mini pizzas,' but I'm telling you, I am...", "Giles: (interrupts) Uh, uh, Buffy! I-I believe the... subtext here is, is, rapidly becoming, uh, (clears his throat) uh, text. Are you sure there's nothing you want to share?", "Buffy: No. Forget it. (looks around again) Think there'll be any more? I-I can wait.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next day.", "Buffy: If you say one more word, things will become dire.", "Cut to the halls. Xander, Willow and Buffy are walking.", "Xander: Did you even bother to taste 'em? Nooo! Well, I did, and I'm here to tell ya those mini pizzas have changed my life! Ted is the master chef!", "Buffy: Fine! So he's a good cook. Well, what does that really tell you about a person?", "Xander: Everything.", "Willow: You don't like him?", "Buffy: I don't *know* him. I, I mean, so far all I see is someone who apparently has a good job, seems nice and polite, and my mother really likes him.", "Xander: (in a rough voice) What kind of a monster is he?", "Buffy: I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown.", "Willow: (giggles) He's a clean clown! (gets stares from the others) I have my own fun. They arrive at the vending machines.", "Xander: Buff, you're lacking evidence. I think maybe we're in Sigmund Freud territory. He puts his coins into the machine.", "Willow: He has a point. Separation anxiety, the mother figure being taken away, conflict with the father figure...", "Buffy: He's *not* my father figure.", "Xander: Having issues much?", "Buffy: I am not! Xander does a typical funny dance, pointing both fingers at Buffy and responding in a sing-song voice.", "Xander: You're having parental issues, you're having parental issues...", "Willow: Xander...", "Xander: What? Freud would've said the exact same thing. Except he might not have done that little dance.", "Buffy: Okay, I admit it's weird. Seeing my mother frenching a guy is definitely a ticket to therapy land, but it's more than that. I'm pretty good at sensing what's going on around me, and there is definitely something wrong with this... Ted. Xander spots Ted coming down the stairs behind Buffy.", "Xander: Ted!", "Buffy: Of course, Ted. Who'd you think I was talking about?", "Xander: Hi, Ted! Ted, who's here.", "Ted: Hello, kids! The girls turn quickly to face him.", "Buffy: (to Ted) What are you doing here?", "Ted: I'm updating the software in the guidance office. Which reminds me, (pulls several disks from his pocket and hands them to Willow) your upgrades.", "Willow: (eagerly accepting the disks) Oh, what a day! Thank you! Buffy gives Willow a look.", "Ted: Think nothing of it. Buffy, do you like miniature golf?", "Xander: Who doesn't!", "Ted: Well, your mother and I were thinking maybe this Saturday we could drag the three of you out to the course, spend some time swinging the iron with the stuffy old people.", "Buffy: Well, uh...", "Ted: I'm making a picnic basket.", "Xander: (eyes wide) With mini pizzas?", "Ted: And cookies! Xander inhales in wide-eyed, open-mouthed rapture.", "Buffy: You know what, we, we would love to, honestly, but, um, unfortunately we have that (looks to Willow for support) thing on Saturday.", "Willow: Ohhh, that thing. (they look at Xander) That thing.", "Xander: Hey, we can do that thing anytime. I'm tired of doing that thing. (to Ted) We're on!", "Ted: Great! Willow and Buffy can only smile, Willow widely, Buffy half-heartedly.", "Cut to Ms. Calendar's classroom. She's gathering assignments from the desks. Giles walks up to the door and steps in.", "Giles: Hello, Jenny.", "Jenny: Rupert. Hi.", "Giles: Some of your, uh, textbooks were delivered to the library. Um, do you want me to, uh, hang on to them?", "Jenny: Yeah, that's fine. I'll send the kids by to pick 'em up.", "Giles: Right. Good. (turns around and starts out of the room)", "Jenny: Pretty flimsy excuse for coming by to see me.", "Giles: (comes back in) You should have heard the ones I threw out. (smiles briefly) I just, I wanted to, uh... see how you were doing.", "Jenny: I'm doing pretty good, actually. I've stayed out of mortal danger for three whole weeks. I could get used to it. (Giles smiles at that) I'm still having trouble sleeping, though.", "Giles: (steps closer) Oh, of course. Um... you, you, you need time.", "Jenny: Or possibly space. Rupert, I know you're concerned. But having you constantly poking around, making little puppy dog eyes at me, wondering if I'm okay... (exhales) You make me feel bad that I don't feel better. I don't want that responsibility.", "Giles: Sorry. (looks down) I certainly don't mean to make, um, 'dog eyes'... at you. I'm just...", "Jenny: Worried. I know.", "Giles: I shouldn't have bothered you. He turns and walks out of the room with his head hung down. Jenny watches him go and exhales. She goes back to collecting the papers.", "Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy is replacing the bandage on his right hand while he lies in his comfy chair.", "Buffy: So mom's like, 'Do you think Ted will like this?' and 'This is Ted's favorite show,' and 'Ted's teaching me computers,' and 'Ted said the funniest thing,' and I'm like, 'That's really great, Mom,' and then she said I was being sarcastic, which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't wanna talk about Ted all the time.", "Angel: (looks up at her) So, you gonna talk about something else at some point?", "Buffy: I'm sorry. I just have so much to deal with, I don't need some new guy in my life. She's finished wrapping the bandage and Angel hands her a piece of tape.", "Angel: No, but maybe your mom does. Buffy takes the tape and puts it on the bandage.", "Buffy: Well, sure, if you're gonna use wisdom.", "Angel: (chuckles) Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.", "Buffy: Okay, so my mom needs a guy in her life. Does it have to be Ted?", "Angel: Do you have somebody else in mind? There's a guy out there that would satisfy you?", "Buffy: My dad? (Angel looks at her) Yeah, okay, that's not gonna happen. Fine, fine, I'll give Ted a chance. I'll play mini-golf, and I'll smile and curtsy and be the dutiful daughter. Do I have to like him?", "Angel: (smiles) Kiss me.", "Buffy: (smiles) Finally, something I wanna do! She leans over him and kisses him lightly on the lips. She gets in his lap and they kiss more passionately.", "Cut to Saturday at the mini-golf course. The group walks up to the next hole.", "Xander: Ah, the dreaded five-par cuckoo clock. Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered. He puts his ball in place and studies his shot.", "Joyce: That picnic was delicious. Xander takes his shot. It's weak.", "Joyce: You know how rare it is to find a man that cooks?", "Ted: I know I've been looking a long time for one. So, Buffy, I bet the boys are lined up around the block tryin' to get a date with you.", "Buffy: Not really.", "Willow: Oh, they are, but she's only interested in... (gets a nudge from Buffy) uh, her studies! 'Book-cracker Buffy', it's kind of her nickname.", "Ted: Well, glad to hear it. I bet that means your grades will be picking up soon. He bends down to position his ball for his shot.", "Buffy: My grades? (paces over to her mom) How does he know about my grades?", "Joyce: I told him. He wants to know everything about you. He's concerned. That's a good thing. (Ted makes his shot) Ooo, nice shot, Ted!", "Cut to the next hole with a castle. Buffy is ready to take her shot.", "Ted: Keep your eye on the ball. Watch those elbows! Buffy swings a bit too hard, and the ball ricochets off of the castle and into the rough behind it.", "Ted: Oh! Bad luck, little lady! Buffy starts to walk to retrieve her ball for another try.", "Joyce: Oh, we won't count it.", "Ted: We won't? Buffy stops and turns back to look at them.", "Joyce: Well, it's just miniature golf.", "Ted: It is, but the rules are the rules. And what we teach her is what she takes out into the world when we're not there, whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party. (to Buffy) I don't mean to overstep my bounds, this is between you and your mother, I just think right is right.", "Joyce: He has a point.", "Buffy: Fine. I'll just go hit my ball from the rough. She goes over to her ball behind the castle and picks it up. She steps onto the green, and thinking no one sees her drops her ball into the hole.", "Buffy: (loudly) Hey, how 'bout that! Got a hole in two!", "Ted: Beg to differ. Buffy turns her head to see him standing next to the castle where he can just see.", "Buffy: Okay, so fine my score or whatever.", "Ted: I think you're missing the point here, little lady. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Why don't people see that?", "Buffy: It's just a game?", "Ted: Right, it's just a game, do your own thing, well, I'm not wired that way. And I am here to tell you (Buffy notices how he's tapping his ankle with his club pretty hard) it is *not* a game! It *does* count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!", "Buffy: Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not *in* your house.", "Ted: Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours? Buffy can't believe her ears. She notices the others come around the castle, and Ted follows her gaze.", "Ted: Who's up for dessert? I made chocolate-chip cookies! (smiles) Joyce opens the zip-lock bag of cookies.", "Xander: Yum-my!", "Willow: Cookies! Buffy stares at everyone and can't believe that Ted just threatened her.", "Ted: Yeah! I-I made, uh, too many, so you guys are gonna have to take some home! Everyone has a cookie and is munching away.", "Joyce: Mm! Buffy, you've got to try one of these! They're really good! Mm! Ted offers her one with a smile. Buffy just keeps looking at them in disbelief.", "Willow: Mm!", "Xander: Mm! These are tasty! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Morning at the Summer's house. Cut to the kitchen. Buffy comes wandering in. Joyce gets the orange juice from the refrigerator and brings it to the island.", "Joyce: Good morning, sunshine!", "Buffy: Hey.", "Joyce: (sets down the OJ) I've got juice, I've got sticky buns, oh, don't they smell good! Buffy picks up part of a bun.", "Joyce: Ted made them. Buffy puts it back down.", "Joyce: (smiles) What?", "Buffy: I'd just like to eat something around here that Ted didn't make.", "Joyce: Oh, what kind of an attitude is that?", "Buffy: (exhales) Look, Mom, I know you think he's great and all, but", "I...", "Joyce: (pours some juice) Y'know, he went out of his way to be nice to you, and you couldn't say two words to him on Saturday. (pours another glass) I do not expect you to love him right away like I do, but I do expect you to treat him decently.", "Buffy: You love him?", "Joyce: (puts down the juice carton) I-I don't know. (exhales) That just slipped out. (takes the juice back to the fridge) But I guess, I mean, it's not exactly like men beat down the door when you're a single...", "Buffy: When you're a single parent.", "Joyce: (exhales) Honey, look. I wouldn't have anything to do with anybody if they didn't care about you. But he does! I don't understand why you can't see that!", "Buffy: He threatened me.", "Joyce: What? (comes back to the island)", "Buffy: He threatened me. He said that he was gonna slap my face.", "Joyce: (disbelieving) He said no such thing! Honey, Ted told me what happened. He caught you cheating, didn't he?", "Buffy: (exhales) Yeah, I kicked my ball in, put me in jail, but he totally wigged!", "Joyce: And he didn't say anything about it in front of the others, did he?", "Buffy: Uh, no, but I don't think that's the...", "Joyce: (interrupts) Well, I thought that that was pretty decent of him!", "Ted said we are just gonna have to give you time to come around. Oh, speaking of which, he's making dinner for us tonight, so I'd like you at home, please, (points down for emphasis) promptly at six. Buffy gives her mother a look and stalks out of the kitchen. Joyce just shrugs and lets her go. She eats part of a sticky bun.", "Joyce: Mm, this is sooo delicious!", "Cut to the quad at the school. Willow, Buffy and Xander are walking across. Xander is munching on a cookie.", "Willow: What do you mean, check him out?", "Buffy: I mean investigate him. Find out his secrets, hack into his life.", "Xander: Can you say 'overreaction'?", "Buffy: Can you say 'sucking chest wound'?", "Willow: Buffy, it just seems like you *want* him to be corrupt, or something.", "Buffy: The guy lost his senses over mini-golf.", "Xander: So he's a little uptight. Last I heard that's not a slaying offense. (gets a look from Buffy) Don't gimme the look, I'm on your side. I'm just saying there are some things in life you have to accept. Buffy and Willow sit on a bench.", "Buffy: And I'm saying Ted ain't one of 'em. Xander notices Cordelia walk past them behind the bench.", "Xander: Hey, Cordy! Nice outfit.", "Cordelia: (stops to look at him) Oh, very funny.", "Xander: Not really.", "Cordelia: What are you saying? Buffy and Willow look up at Xander.", "Xander: Nice outfit?", "Cordelia: Well, why don't you just keep your mouth shut! (walks off)", "Xander: Would you guys excuse me for a sec? (goes after Cordelia)", "Willow: What's up with them?", "Cut to Cordelia walking along the colonnade. Xander catches up with her.", "Cordelia: What's wrong with you?", "Xander: I gave you a compliment.", "Cordelia: In front of your friends! They're gonna know!", "Xander: Know what?", "Cordelia: Please! It's too traumatic for me to even say it!", "Xander: That we kissed?", "Cordelia: Uhhh!", "Xander: Look, I'm not gonna tell, they're not gonna know. Not your friends, not my friends. You wanna go to the utility closet and make out?", "Cordelia: God! Is that all you ever think about? (considers the offer) Okay. They go off to make out. Cut to Buffy and Willow still on the bench.", "Buffy: Will, I'm not wrong here. Ted has a problem with me. He acts like I'm in the way or something. And Mom's been totally different since he's around.", "Willow: Different, like happy?", "Buffy: Like Stepford. Will you help me?", "Willow: You know I will. What do you want me to look for?", "Buffy: Let's start small. Can you find out where he works? Willow nods.", "Cut to Ted's office. Buffy spots Ted at his desk and moves into the snack area to observe him. Neal has the desk next to Ted's. They're both talking with customers over their headsets.", "Neal: Yeah, i-i-it's a terrific product. No PC should be without it.", "Ted: No, Mrs. Lawnsdale, it is not an inexpensive piece of software. As a matter of fact it's a very expensive one. Which removes the risk of crashing your whole system. Of course, if you prefer something cheap, I can always recommend... Trust me, you won't be sorry. Thank *you* very much. Ted takes off his headset and puts it down. Buffy sees him get up and quickly crouches down and hides under the snack table. Ted walks over to the sales board and makes another hack mark by his name.", "Ted: Goin' to lunch! He walks out the door. Buffy stands back up and watches him leave. She glances over at his desk and then back at the sales board again. Neal walks up to get a cup of coffee and notices her standing there.", "Neal: You're new, aren't ya? (grabs the coffee pot)", "Buffy: Oh...", "Neal: I'm Neal. (pours a cup)", "Buffy: I'm B... Linda. Belinda. I'm just temping for the day. (looks at the board) Wow, that guy's a salesman. I guess he's the one to beat around here.", "Neal: Nobody beats 'The Machine'. The guy's a genius. Knows everything about computers, never loses a client... If I sound bitter, I am. (takes a sip of his coffee)", "Buffy: Well, nobody likes an overachiever. (Neal chuckles) Uh, he's probably got ex-wives and, and families to support.", "Neal: He's just got a girlfriend. I'm amazed he let her clutter his desk. He looks at Ted's desk and Buffy follows his gaze. There's a single picture frame on it beside the computer and nothing else.", "Neal: Thank God he's taking off for the wedding.", "Buffy: (surprised) The wedding?", "Neal: Yeah, he's got it set for two months from now. Believe me, I am counting the days. (spots his boss) Uh-oh, the ueber-boss. Back to the salt mines. (walks off) Buffy casually makes her way to Ted's desk, looking around to see if anyone notices her. She looks at the picture, and it strikes her as familiar. She takes it, opens up the back and pulls it out. She notices it's folded, and when she unfolds it she sees it's the picture of her and her mother from their refrigerator at home with her own face folded back.", "Cut to dinner at home. Buffy, Joyce and Ted are seated at the dining room table. Ted is saying grace.", "Ted: We thank you for what we are about to receive, and we ask that you bless this house, and help the people in it to be more productive, more considerate and more honest. Amen.", "Joyce: Amen. Ted and Joyce lay their napkins in their laps. Joyce takes up her fork and starts in.", "Ted: Well, another great day at work! How was school today, Buffy? Did you learn anything?", "Buffy: Quite a bit.", "Ted: Good for you! Well, Joycie, what do you think?", "Joyce: I think every home should have one of you. It's fantastic! (smiles) (to Buffy) Don't you think? Ted smiles over at Buffy.", "Buffy: Looks good.", "Ted: Well, you know, little lady, it's not just for looks, it's for building strong bodies. Buffy just sits there staring at Ted.", "Joyce: (looks at Buffy) Honey?", "Buffy: Are you two engaged? Ted raises his head in realization.", "Joyce: Goodness, no! Whatever gave you that idea?", "Ted: Now, Joycie, let me handle this. Buffy, your mother and I are taking it one step at a time. And if things go the way I hope, maybe someday soon I just might ask her to tie the knot. How would you feel about that? (silence from Buffy) It's okay to have feelings, Buffy, and it's okay to express them.", "Buffy: I'd feel like killing myself.", "Joyce: Buffy!", "Ted: No, no, I, I told her to be honest. (to Buffy) Sweetheart, you should try and get used to me, 'cause you know what? I'm not going anywhere.", "Buffy: (to Joyce) May I be excused?", "Joyce: You can go to your room, young lady, that's where you can go. Buffy gets up and leaves the table without another word.", "Joyce: Ted, I (exhales) I am so embarrassed! I-I-I don't know what's wrong with her!", "Ted: Joycie, (takes her hand) you don't get to be salesman of the year by giving up after a couple of rejections. She'll come 'round. He smiles at her and takes his glass for a sip.", "Cut to the park. Buffy is sitting on a swing, tapping a stake in her hand, hoping some vampires will show up.", "Buffy: Vampires... Here, vampires... She exhales, frustrated that she can't work out her anger, and decides to head home. Cut inside her room. She climbs up to her window and crawls in. Inside she finds Ted waiting in a chair for her to come home.", "Buffy: What are you doing in here?", "Ted: Your mother told you to go to your room, Buffy. You and I both know she didn't mean climb out a window and go gallivanting about town.", "Buffy: First of all, this is *my* room, second... (sees her Slayer stuff lying on her desk) You've been going through my things?", "Ted: Yes, I have.", "Buffy: That's my personal property! How *dare* you?!", "Ted: I don't see how it's any different from you snooping around my office, do you? (raises her diary and reads) What exactly is a Vampire Slayer?", "Buffy: It's none of your business.", "Ted: Beg to differ, little lady. Everything you do is nothing *but* my business from now on.", "Buffy: I think you better get out of here. Now!", "Ted: Or what? (stands up and steps toward her) You'll slay me? I'm real. I'm not some goblin you made up in your little diary. Psychiatrists have a word for something like this: delusional. So, from now on, you'll do what I say, when I say, or I show this (holds up her diary) to your mother, and you'll spend your best dating years behind the wall of a mental institution. Your mother and I are going to be happy. You're not going to stand in the way. Sleep tight! He starts to leave the room, and opens the door to go out. Buffy follows him and grabs hold of his hand that has her diary.", "Buffy: That's mine, and you are *not* leaving this room with it!", "Ted: Take your hand off me.", "Buffy: No. Ted slaps her hard, almost punching her, and makes her hit the wall.", "Buffy: Ohhh! (straightens back up to face him) I was *so* hoping you'd do that. She punches him squarely in the jaw, and he staggers back into the open door. He pushes himself upright and backhands her in the face, making her fall against the side of her bed and onto the floor. He picks her up by the shirt collar, but she kicks him in the shin. Joyce comes to the door to see what all the noise is about.", "Joyce: Buffy! Stop that! Buffy elbows him in the face.", "Joyce: Stop it! Buffy kicks him in the chest, making him stagger backward out into the hall, where Joyce has to quickly move out of the way. Buffy follows him into the hall and punches him in the face again. Ted trips down to the end of the hall before regaining his balance, and Buffy is there to kick him again. He spins around and falls down the stairs, tumbling to the bottom. When he hits the floor his neck sounds like it has broken. Joyce comes running down the stairs after him.", "Joyce: Ted... She kneels next to him and tries to shake him awake.", "Joyce: Ted! Ted! Buffy slowly descends the stairs. Joyce takes Ted's arm to feel for a pulse. When she doesn't find one she drops his arm and looks up at Buffy.", "Joyce: You killed him! Buffy stares down at Ted's unmoving body, not believing what just happened.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The foyer at the Summers house. Ted's body is zipped up into a body bag. The coroners wheel him out of the house on a gurney. Outside Buffy is sitting on the porch steps by the pillar. Joyce watches as the coroners wheel Ted's body away. She is approached by Detective Stein.", "Det. Stein: Ma'am, I'm Detective Stein. I'm sorry, but I need to ask you a few questions. Your relationship with the deceased?", "Joyce: We were, uh, seeing each other.", "Det. Stein: Can you tell me what happened?", "Joyce: He fell. Down the stairs, he fell.", "Det. Stein: I see. Uh, did he slip? Do you know what made him fall?", "Buffy: I hit him. Detective Stein turns to look at her sitting on the steps.", "Buffy: I hit him.", "Cut to the police station. Joyce is sitting by Detective Stein's desk, waiting to find out what's going to happen. The camera pans across the room and over to her, looking apprehensive. Cut to the interrogation room. Buffy is sitting at the table, looking down while being interviewed.", "Buffy: He was in my room. And we got into an argument.", "Det. Stein: About what?", "Buffy: He, um...", "Det. Stein: Was this the first time that you two had had an argument?", "Buffy: (looks up) No. He threatened me. He, he said that he would slap me.", "Det. Stein: That was tonight.", "Buffy: No. But he had my diary, and I-I tried to take it back, a-and that's when he hit me.", "Det. Stein: Where? Buffy raises her hand to indicate her right cheek. Detective Stein leans over to have a look.", "Det. Stein: Well, it doesn't look like he hit you very hard.", "Buffy: I don't bruise easily.", "Det. Stein: So you've been hit before?", "Buffy: Yes.", "Det. Stein: But Ted never hit you.", "Buffy: I told you...", "Det. Stein: Before tonight, Ted never hit you before tonight?", "Buffy: What do you want? I-I told you what happened, I didn't mean to!", "Det. Stein: I believe you. Things get outta hand. He's a big guy. He writes some notes on his pad. Buffy can only watch.", "Joyce: Are you charging her with something?", "Cut to Joyce still sitting by Detective Stein's desk.", "Det. Stein: We're not bringing anything up against your daughter right now. She says Mr. Buchanan struck her, and if that's the case... (shrugs) Anyway, we've gotta examine it further. Right now I think you should just take her home, and the two of you should try and get some rest.", "Cut to the street. They're driving home in Joyce's Jeep. Cut inside the car. Buffy is looking down sadly. She glances over to her mother briefly, then out the side window.", "Cut to school the next day. Buffy comes into the hall from outside, and everyone seems to be looking at her as she slowly makes her way to the lounge. Cut to the lounge. Xander and Willow catch up with her.", "Xander: Buffy! They climb the steps up to the couches.", "Xander: Are you okay?", "Willow: How come you're here?", "Buffy: I couldn't stay at home. (she and Willow sit) Mom won't even look at me. Xander sits on the table facing them.", "Willow: What happened? Unless you don't want to talk about it.", "Buffy: We had a fight and I lost my temper. I really let him have it.", "Willow: The paper said he fell.", "Buffy: He fell. Hard.", "Xander: What was he?", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: What was he? A-a demon? A giant bug? Some kind of dark god with the secrets of nouvelle cuisine? I mean, we are talking creature- feature here, right? Buffy looks at him a moment and then lowers her eyes.", "Xander: Oh man!", "Willow: But I'm sure it wasn't your fault. He started it.", "Buffy: Yeah. That defense only works in six-year-old court, Will.", "Xander: Court? Wa-wait. Are they charging you with something?", "Buffy: (shakes her head) I-I don't know. Not yet. Willow looks at her sympathetically.", "Buffy: (eyes down) He was a person, and I killed him.", "Willow: Don't say that!", "Buffy: (looks up at Willow) Why not? Everyone else is. And it's the truth.", "Xander: It was an accident.", "Buffy: I'm the Slayer. I had no right to hit him like that.", "Xander: Look, Buffy, I don't know what happened exactly. But I do know you. And I know you would never hurt anyone intentionally. Well, you know, unless...", "Buffy: Unless they were dating my mother? Xander has no response to that.", "Buffy: I gotta go. She gets up and leaves at a quick pace. Xander and Willow watch her go and look at each other for what to do.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes striding around the corner. Ahead of her Giles comes out of a classroom and nods to a man standing outside the door, then sees her coming.", "Giles: Buffy? Buffy stops in her tracks, but stays to face him.", "Giles: Are you alright? Buffy just looks up at him.", "Giles: Oh, uh, stupid question, I'm sorry. Look, i-i-if there's anything you need, of course, just, just ask.", "Buffy: (notices the man guarding the door) What's going on? (walks toward the classroom)", "Giles: Oh, you needn't worry about that. They're just asking a few questions, your, your, your behavior and... um... uh... Buffy looks into the room through the door window and sees Detective Stein talking with two of her teachers.", "Giles: Of course, I told them you, uh... I... Buffy quickly walks off.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Cordelia are at the table. Willow is surfing for information. Giles is behind them in the cage getting together some weapons. Xander is pacing.", "Xander: Man, this is killing me! That b*st*rd was up to something, I know it. If I could just get my hands on him... Willow gives him a look.", "Xander: Earlier this week.", "Cordelia: I thought you liked him.", "Xander: (steps over to her) I sometimes like things that are not good for me. Besides, no way, no how does Buffy put the big hurt on an innocent man. Nice Uncle Ted was dirty. Giles comes out of the cage with his bag in one hand and the crossbow in the other.", "Willow: We've gotta prove that somehow. Xander, do you have a pen? Giles sets the bag on the table and puts the crossbow in. Xander opens his satchel to get a pen.", "Xander: If Buffy has to go to jail because of that creep I'm gonna lose it. He's gotta be in there, Will. Uh, history of domestic violence, a criminal record? (finds a zip-lock bag) Ooo! Cookies! Giles goes back into the cage for more weapons.", "Cordelia: I don't get it. Buffy's the Slayer. Shouldn't she have...", "Xander: What, a license to kill? (takes a bite of a cookie)", "Cordelia: Well, not for fun. But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?", "Willow: Sure, in a fascist society.", "Cordelia: Right! Why can't we have one of those?", "Willow: Buffy's not going to jail. It's not fair.", "Giles: (comes back) Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself. (adds an ax and other stuff to the bag) She's taken a human life. The guilt, it-it's, it's pretty hard to bear, and it won't go away soon.", "Cordelia: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?", "Giles: Yes. Do let's bring that up as often as possible. (heads back to the cage)", "Xander: So, Giles, you takin' over tonight? (takes another bite of his cookie)", "Giles: Um, well, Buffy's not in any shape to patrol. (comes back to the table) The least I can do is pick up the slack. Someone has to. (adds several crosses to the bag)", "Willow: Giles, you shouldn't go out there without the Slayer.", "Giles: Until Buffy regains her equilibrium, there *is* no Slayer. Xander takes another bite of his cookie.", "Cordelia: If you need help...", "Giles: No, uh, Buffy needs your help more than I. You carry on investigating, see if you can find out as much about this Buchanan chap as possible. (takes up the bag to go)", "Willow: Be careful.", "Giles: I-I will. (leaves)", "Willow: Ted's got no criminal record! Damn! This guy's like citizen of the year!", "Xander: Don't sweat it. It'll be fine.", "Willow: Don't sweat it?", "Xander: Yeah, cute buddy! (goes over to her) We'll work it out! (ruffles her hair) No worries!", "Cordelia: What happened to 'this is killing me'?", "Xander: (shakes his cookie at Cordelia) Worrying isn't gonna solve any problems. The cookie catches Willow's eye and she grabs it from Xander, breaking off most of it. She turns it in her hand as she looks at it.", "Cut to Buffy's house. Cut to the kitchen. Joyce is packing away a bunch of baking pans and bowls. Buffy comes in and stands at the door, fidgeting with her hands.", "Buffy: Can I help?", "Joyce: It's done. I've been meaning to clean out this junk for months. Do you, uh, have homework?", "Buffy: I didn't mean to hurt him.", "Joyce: I don't wanna talk about this.", "Buffy: Mom, please, you have to know...", "Joyce: I can't, not yet. Please, Buffy, just go to your room. Buffy looks like she's about to burst into tears as she turns to go to her room. Joyce waits for a moment, almost crying herself, too, then picks up the box and takes it into the basement.", "Cut to the science lab at school. Several cookies are sitting on a scale. Willow is staring into a microscope.", "Willow: Okay!", "Xander: What do we know?", "Willow: Well, apparently the secret ingredient (looks up from the scope) is not love.", "Xander: What is it then?", "Willow: I'm not positive, but I think it's Dematorin. It's like a tranquilizer, keeps you all mellow and compliant. It also shares a few components with Ecstasy.", "Xander: This is evidence! This is real evidence that Ted was some kind of a crook! Buffy's cleared! Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you! She gives him a wide smile.", "Xander: Well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!", "Cordelia: (comes into the lab) Well, your search finally hit pay dirt. You got some personal records, marriage certificates and an address.", "(puts the printouts on the table)", "Xander: Well, let's check it out, get our Slayer back on her feet before somebody else gets hurt.", "They all head out of the lab. Willow grabs the printouts on the way.", "Cut to the park. Giles is walking slowly past some bushes, weapons bag in hand, when he's startled and spins around holding up a cross.", "Giles: Ah!", "Jenny: Yeah, I get that reaction from men all the time.", "Giles: Jenny! What are you doing here?", "Jenny: I saw your car back there. I wanted to apologize.", "Giles: Well, now is... not the best time to go ta...", "Jenny: No, no, please, please, lemme just, lemme get this out. (exhales) I was sooo... harsh the other day. I am so sorry. I mean, I know how badly you must feel about putting me in danger before, and...", "Giles: (looks past her) Right in harm's view now. A vampire comes out of the bushes behind Jenny and growls at them.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's sitting at her desk facing into the room. She hears a noise.", "Buffy: Mom? (silence) (exhales) The hell with this. She gets up and strides over to her window. She tries to lift the sash, but it's stuck in place. She looks as it and sees the problem.", "Buffy: She nailed it shut. Well, it's official, this day can't get any worse. She senses something behind her and spins around to see Ted standing there.", "Ted: Beg to differ. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She has her back to the window as Ted confronts her.", "Buffy: You died.", "Ted: That's right, little lady, you killed me. Do we have something to say about that? Are we sorry?", "Buffy: What are you?", "Ted: I'm a salesman! That's what you should've remembered. No matter how you put him down... He grabs her by the strap of her coveralls and yanks her across the room. She falls into her desk chair.", "Ted: ...a good salesman always bounces back!", "Cut to the park. The vampire roars and attacks. Jenny screams in fright and jumps aside, so the vampire crashes into Giles, grabbing him and pulling him to the ground with him. Giles holds his cross in the vampire's face.", "Giles: (to Jenny) MY BAG! Jenny jumps over to the dropped bag and pulls out the crossbow. Giles struggles with the vampire and punches him in the face, but the vampire isn't fazed. Giles punches him again harder, and this time the vampire pulls away far enough for Giles to get his foot underneath him to push him off. The vampire lands on his back while Giles scrambles to his feet. The vampire jumps up and starts to wrestle with Giles. Jenny in the mean time has loaded a bolt into the crossbow and anxiously looks for an opening. They turn back and forth, not giving Jenny a clear shot.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She gets to her feet as Ted comes for her. She immediately kicks him in the gut and follows up with a left to the jaw. Ted flinches, but doesn't back off. Buffy punches him twice in the stomach and again in the face, but he isn't fazed, and he grabs her by the throat and backs her into and over her desk, pinning her against the wall.", "Ted: You see I had to shut down for a while to get you off my back. You should've seen the intern's face when I got up off the table, it was a hoot! Fun's over, though. He wraps his other hand around her throat and begins to squeeze.", "Cut to the park. Giles and the vampire continue to wrestle, constantly turning so that Jenny still doesn't have a clear shot. At one point the turning stops, and Jenny decides it's time for her to shoot.", "Jenny: Say good night, big guy! The vampire turns Giles around just as Jenny lets the bolt fly, and it hits Giles in the lower left of his back.", "Giles: AHHH! Jenny lowers the crossbow and looks at them, shocked by what happened.", "Jenny: OH, GOD! The vampire lets go of Giles and steps back. Giles grabs the shaft of the bolt and bends over in pain.", "Jenny: Oh, no! She bends down to the bag and searches frantically for another bolt.", "Vampire: (laughs) Nice shot, lady! Giles rends the bolt from his back and jams it into the vampire's chest. Jenny has found another bolt and stands back up to see Giles let go of the bolt. The vampire falls to the ground and explodes into ashes. Jenny stares in shock and relief at what she's just seen.", "Cut to Buffy's room. Ted tightens his grip on Buffy's throat. She looks over at her nightstand for anything to use as a weapon and reaches for her nail file that's lying there. She grabs it and stabs Ted in the left forearm with it. Ted yanks his arm away from her, slicing it open on the file as he jerks back. Buffy collapses to the floor.", "Ted: That wasn't playing fair, missy! He grabs his left wrist with his right hand and looks down at the wound. There are torn wires and sparks and smoke coming from it.", "Ted: You're gonna find... His head jerks to the right when some short circuits result from the cut.", "Ted: Hell of a day! Makes you feel like you're eighteen again! (his head jerks back) ...that I don't like being disobeyed! Cut downstairs. Joyce comes out of the basement with another empty box and closes the door behind her. Cut to Buffy's room. Ted hears the sound of the door closing downstairs. He kicks Buffy in the jaw, and knocks her out. He goes to her door, opens it and looks out into the hall. He gives Buffy another look as he pulls his sleeve down over the cut in his arm. His head jerks again from another short.", "Ted: Don't worry about me and your mother. We're gonna be very happy! He leaves the room and closes and locks the door behind him.", "Cut to Ted's small workshop. Xander looks in through the multi-paned window and sees the place is dark and empty. He breaks one of the panes with a crowbar and uses it to knock out the broken glass.", "Willow: Careful! Xander reaches in through the window and opens the door from inside. He looks in as Willow comes to stand in the doorway also, and they scan around the place with their flashlights. Slowly they walk in with Cordelia right behind them.", "Xander: Let's look around. Willow looks over the paperwork they have on him.", "Cordelia: I'll take the back.", "Xander: Check for cookies. Willow gives Xander a look.", "Xander: For evidence!", "Willow: So far I've counted four marriage certificates.", "Xander: (looks at some shelves) Any divorce papers?", "Willow: Not a one.", "Xander: So either our boy was a Mormon, or...", "Willow: (notices) Whoa, whoa, 1957! Ted musta married young! Like pre- school young.", "Cordelia: (comes from the back) Nothing interesting back here. Doesn't look like anybody's worked here, let alone lived here.", "Xander: Something's missing here. This doesn't seem like Ted at all.", "Cordelia: (looks down) Yeah, and this rug? It doesn't go with the rest of the decor. Xander looks down at the new-looking Oriental rug. He and Willow exchange a look. Xander steps back off of the rug and lifts it back. Underneath is a trap door." ]

[ "For Health class, students unknowingly adopt \"eggs\" of a Bezoar demon growing under the school. Its arachnoid \"babies\" are able to directly control a person's central nervous system. Dealing with a pair of outlaw vampire brothers in addition to slaying the enormous Bezoar before its progeny take over Sunnydale, Buffy gets ultra-grounded for her trouble." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale Mall. The low camera angle shows the legs of the people walking past the shops on the ground floor. The camera pans up past a cowboy and his girlfriend to the second floor and over the railing where Buffy and her mother are walking along. Joyce has a shopping bag in each hand, and Buffy has on a small backpack.", "Buffy: Come on, Mom, please?", "Joyce: I'm sorry, honey.", "Buffy: Don't you understand how important this is?", "Joyce: It's an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy.", "Buffy: But I looked good in it.", "Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.", "Buffy: But a thin streetwalker. (gets a look from her mom) That's probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it?", "Joyce: You're just too young to wear that.", "Buffy: Yeah, and I'm gonna be too young to wear it until I'm too old to wear it.", "Joyce: That's the idea. (stops and looks around) The stores are closing, and I still need to order the flyers for the opening.", "(considers, then puts both bags in one hand) Okay. I'll go to the printers and then get our food, (pulls out a slip of paper) you go to the tailor and pick up my outfit from Everyday Woman. (hands Buffy the slip of paper)", "Buffy: (looks at the paper) Everyday Woman?", "Joyce: Mm-hm. There's the receipt.", "Buffy: Why didn't you just go to Muu-Muus R Us?", "Joyce: Do now, make fun of your mother later. (walks off)", "Buffy reluctantly starts for the tailors.", "Cut to the escalators. Buffy gets on to go to the ground floor. She looks around idly as she descends. She sees the cowboy and his girlfriend come up the other escalator. She keeps looking around, and then notices that the cowboy's reflection is missing from the mirrors that line the escalator corridor. She looks back at the couple, and he is indeed there. Immediately she turns and runs back up the escalator, weaving between the people coming down on it behind her.", "Cut to the walkway. The cowboy and the girl go around a corner. Buffy walks quickly to catch up. Cut to a back hallway. Buffy slowly walks past a bank of payphones by the restrooms and looks around for them, apparently having lost them. She continues down the hall and hears a pinball machine. Reaching the rear door of the arcade she sees that the metal gate has been bent and forced open. She quietly squeezes by the gate and goes in. The place is deserted and quiet except for the sound of the one machine. She walks around one side of a bank of game machines while the camera pans along the other.", "Lyle: Turn around, baby, I have somethin' to show ya.", "Girl: Wait a sec. This is my high score. The camera reaches them. The girl is hammering away at the flipper controls. The cowboy takes off his hat and comes up behind the girl. He takes her hair and sweeps it away from her neck. He's vamped out.", "Lyle: Well, ain't you just got the prettiest little neck I ever did see. He moves in for the bite, but is interrupted by Buffy.", "Buffy: Boy, you guys really never come up with any new lines, do you? The two of them look over at Buffy, annoyed.", "Girl: Do you mind? We were talking here.", "Buffy: (stares down the vampire) But you promised you'd never cheat on me again, honey.", "Girl: (pulls her bag onto her arm) Um, I better go.", "Lyle: But I ain't done yet. She turns to look at him and gasps in fear when she sees his face. She runs from the arcade. The vampire looks back at Buffy.", "Lyle: Alright, sugar lips. (puts on his hat and faces off with her) Giddy-up! He throws a punch at Buffy, but she blocks it and punches him in the face and the crotch. He grabs his groin, and Buffy shoves him into another pinball machine. He looks up at her and gives her an evil smile.", "Lyle: Well, you're a rough one, ain't cha! I like that! He comes at her again with a swing, which she readily blocks it. He swings again, and she ducks the blow. He grabs her by the arms and throws her into a pinball machine. The plate glass on the top and back panel shatter as she lands on it hard. The cowboy rushes over and grabs her by the straps of her backpack.", "Lyle: You must be that Slayer I've been hearin' so much about. Lyle Gorch. Pleased to meet cha! Buffy gets her leg between them and kicks him off of her. He staggers into another machine.", "Buffy: Pleasure's mine! She leaps off of the machine at him, and he ducks and rolls out of the way. She spins around to face him and has a stake in her hand, up and ready. Lyle rolls up to his feet, grabbing his hat in midair along the way, and puts it back on. He points at her.", "Lyle: This ain't over! He spins around and hightails it out of there.", "Buffy: Oh, sure. They *say* they'll call.", "Cut to the food court. Buffy comes walking in and spots her mom at a table with their food, waiting for her. Joyce stares at the food, looking bored and watching it get cold. She looks up as Buffy arrives.", "Buffy: Oh, bliss. (sits) Mall food. (looks up)", "Joyce: Buffy?", "Buffy: (attentive) Mom?", "Joyce: Where's my dress?", "Buffy: (confused) Your dr...? Oh. (winces) Oh, God.", "Joyce: Let me guess: you were distracted by a boy.", "Buffy: (cringes) Technically.", "Joyce: (leans back) Buffy...", "Buffy: (exhales) Look, I-I can go get it right now.", "Joyce: They're closed. I'll just have to fit it in tomorrow.", "Buffy: Sorry.", "Joyce: (sternly) A little responsibility is all I ask. Honestly, don't you ever think about anything besides boys and clothes?", "Buffy: Saving the world from vampires?", "Joyce: (crosses her arms and shakes her head) I swear, sometimes I don't know what goes on in your head. Buffy just looks back at her. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The utility closet at Sunnydale High. The light is off. Xander and Cordelia are sucking some serious face.", "Cordelia: Xander? (continues kissing)", "Xander: Shhh-sh-sh. (continues kissing)", "Cordelia: It's just that (kiss) I'm worried we're gonna miss class.", "(continues kissing)", "He reaches up for the light string and yanks it to turn it on. They step back a bit from each other.", "Xander: You know what? This would work a lot better for me if you didn't talk.", "Cordelia: Well, it'd work a lot better for me with the lights off. She grabs the string and yanks it. She puts her arms around him again and starts to kiss him, but Xander doesn't kiss back. He yanks the string again and the light comes back on. They step away from each other again.", "Xander: Are you saying that you can't look at me when we do... whatever it is we do?", "Cordelia: No, it's not that I can't, it's just more... I don't want to.", "Xander: That's great! That's just dandy! We're repulsed by each other, we, (indicates the door) we hide from our friends...", "Cordelia: Well, I should hope so! Please!", "Xander: (nods) All in all this is not what I'd call a big self-esteem booster.", "Cordelia: Tell me about it! (looks him over) Just look at you! And those clothes. Where did you get those shoes?!", "Xander: Okay, you know what? I don't need this.", "Cordelia: Ditto! Like a hole in the head! They both reach for the doorknob, and their hands meet there. They hesitate a moment, and then wrap their arms around each other again and kiss even more passionately. Xander cradles her head in his hand as they slowly sink to the floor. He reaches up for the string and gives it a good yank.", "Cut to teen health class. The instructor is writing 's*x' on the board.", "Mr. Whitmore: S-E-X. s*x. (faces the class) The s*x drive in the human animal is intense. How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?", "Xander: Yes! (raises his hand and nods) Mm-hm. Willow gives him a concerned look.", "Mr. Whitmore: That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll. Several students giggle. Xander lowers his hand.", "Xander: Oh. Cordelia looks away from him and stares down at her book.", "Mr. Whitmore: Of course, for teenagers such as yourselves these feelings are even more overwhelming. With all sorts of hormones surging... Willow is clearly nervous, and looks back and forth between Xander and giving her attention to the teacher.", "Mr. Whitmore: ...through your bodies, compelling you to action, it's often difficult to remember that there *are* negative consequences to, uh, having s*x. Would anyone care to offer one such consequence? Cordelia raises her hand, and Mr. Whitmore indicates to her, giving her the floor.", "Cordelia: Well, that depends. Are you talking about s*x *in* the car or *out* of the car? (Mr. Whitmore looks confused) Because I have a friend, not me, that was in a Miata at, parked at the top of the hill, and then she kicked the gearshift, and, and...", "Mr. Whitmore: (interrupts) Yeah, I, I was thinking of something a little more commonplace, Ms. Chase. Xander raises his hand, and Mr. Whitmore indicates to him. Willow stares at him.", "Xander: You wanna talk negative consequence? What about the heartbreak of halitosis? (Cordelia looks at him and he looks back) I mean, a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definitely off the rose. Cordelia immediately raises her hand again. Mr. Whitmore exhales and gives her permission to speak again.", "Cordelia: Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a *big* turn-on. Willow looks back and forth between the two of them, very confused. The exchange begins to draw muffled comments from among the other students.", "Xander: What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chit- chat just so you can get some touch? Cordelia is incensed.", "Mr. Whitmore: Now. Another consequence of sexual activity? Anyone? Cordelia raises her hand again.", "Mr. Whitmore: Uh, else? Willow raises her hand. He indicates that she should speak.", "Willow: How about pregnancy? That would be a major one, right?", "Mr. Whitmore: Thank you, Ms. Rosenberg! (Willow smiles smugly) Among teens unwanted pregnancy is the number one negative consequence of sexual activity. So, as discussed last week, I present you with... (takes a sheet off of two trays of eggs) ...your offspring. (Willow smiles) You will split into parenting teams. You and your partner will share equally in the daily task of raising (indicates the trays) your egg. (takes a tray to distribute) Now, please choose a partner and come pick up your children. Willow waves at Xander, but he ignores her and gets up to go over to Cordelia. She sees him coming and immediately grabs the shirtsleeve of the boy sitting across from her to get his attention.", "Cordelia: You wanna have a baby? Xander is disappointed. He sees another girl walk up to the second tray of eggs still on the teacher's desk and approaches her.", "Xander: Hey. (chuckles) I know we just met, but isn't that Xander Jr. you're holding? The girl giggles and smiles and turns around to walk away. Xander gives Cordelia another glance, then follows the other girl.", "Cut to the library. Buffy walks over to the card catalog, pulls out a drawer and begins going through the cards. Giles is in the cage behind her. Xander opens the door for Willow and they come on.", "Willow: Buffy! How come you weren't in class?", "Buffy: Vampire issues. Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?", "Xander: I think the word you're searching for is 'absent'.", "Willow: Tardy people show.", "Buffy: Right.", "Willow: And, yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this.", "(hands her an egg)", "Buffy: (rolls the egg around in her hands) As far as punishments go this is fairly abstract.", "Willow: No, it's your baby! (smiles)", "Buffy: (confused) Okay, I get it even less.", "Xander: Well, you know, it's the whole 's*x leads to responsibility'", "thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.", "Willow: (looks at Xander) My egg is Jewish.", "Xander: Then teach it that Dreidel song. Willow smiles at that.", "Buffy: I can't do this! I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke. She sets the egg down on top of the catalog, moans and quickly walks over to a book re-shelving cart.", "Willow: You'll do fine!", "Xander: Yeah, the only thing that stresses me is when do we tell them that they're adopted?", "Buffy: I'll just lay that one off on my partner. (looks up, worried) Who'd I get?", "Willow: Well, there were an uneven number of students, and you didn't show, so...", "Buffy: (in shocked disbelief) I'm a single mother?", "Xander: (nods) No man of her own.", "Buffy: Do you know what this says about me? That I am doomed to lead my mother's life! (paces back to them) How deeply scary is that?", "Xander: How 'bout this: it says nothing, it means nothing, this whole egg experiment thing is completely pointless!", "Giles: (in the cage) Success! (comes out with a book) At last. Your playmate is a fellow of repute, it seems. He moves to set the book on top of Buffy's egg. She inhales in fright and quickly snatches it away. Willow and Xander look on in wide-eyed surprise. Giles points out a picture in the book.", "Giles: That's, um, Lyle Gorch, and that one's his brother, Tector. They're from Abilene. They, uh, they made their reputation by massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886. (takes off his glasses to clean them)", "Buffy: Friendly little demons.", "Giles: That was before they became vampires. She raises her eyebrows at Giles. Willow and Xander exchange a look.", "Giles: B-but, um, the good news is that they're... not amongst the great thinkers of our times. I doubt if they're up to much. They're probably just drawn here by the, uh, Hellmouth's energy. (puts his glasses back on)", "Xander: 'Nuff said! I propose Buffy slays 'em. All in favor? (raises his hand)", "Willow: (raises her hand) Aye!", "Giles: I-I don't think you should underestimate them. I mean, y-you may need to have some help if, if, if, if... (notices the eggs) Why do you all have eggs?", "Willow: (smiles) Hey, maybe you can have Angel help you find the Gorches.", "Giles: (still confused) Yes! Yes, yes, that's not a bad idea. Strength in numbers.", "Xander: Oh, right. I see a lotta hunting getting done in *that* scenario.", "Buffy: Please. Like Angel and I are just helpless slaves to passion. Grow up!", "Cut to the park. Angel and Buffy are locked in a passionate kiss. Buffy breaks off.", "Buffy: I really...", "Angel: I know. They continue kissing. After a few seconds Buffy breaks off again.", "Buffy: You know, this isn't hunting in the classical sense. We should...", "Angel: You're right. They kiss some more. A few moments later they break off again.", "Angel: Okay.", "Buffy: Okay. (kiss) Okay. They walk side by side for a few paces.", "Buffy: You see anything?", "Angel: No.", "Buffy: Okay. (faces him) Enough hunting. They begin their passionate kissing with renewed vigor. The camera pans away from them over to a wall among the trees. The Gorch brothers are crouched on top, watching them.", "Tector: That the Slayer?", "Lyle: Yep.", "Tector: Ain't that Angelus with her?", "Lyle: Yep.", "Tector: Well, how come she ain't slayin'? And how come he's about to make me blush?", "Lyle: Well, I don't know, Tector. And how come you's always askin' me so many stupid questions?", "Tector: So, you wanna take him, or, uh, you want me to, Lyle?", "Lyle: I say we leave it. Wait till she's alone.", "Tector: Why? You scared?", "Lyle: Nope. I could whip 'em both right now if I wanted to.", "Tector: Then why don't ya?", "Lyle: (looks at Tector) 'Cause I got me a plan. I'm the one that does the thinkin', 'member?", "Tector: Yeah. You do the thinkin', Lyle. That is definitely your department. So why don't you tell me again why we can't kill 'em now?", "Fade to black. Cut to Buffy's room. She walks in and over to her bed.", "Buffy: Okay, little egg dude. (sits and opens her egg diary) Let's see. (reads) Feeding? Check. (marks) Burping? Eeeew... Check (marks) Diapers", "(looks at the egg's basket) Sort of, in theory, I guess. (marks)", "She puts the pen in the binder coil.", "Buffy: Okay. She sets the notepad down and crawls under the covers. She yawns and looks at her egg in its basket on her nightstand.", "Buffy: Good night, Eggbert. She taps her egg gently and then reaches up to turn off the light. She pulls up the covers and settles in to sleep. Cut outside the house later that night. Cut to Buffy's room. The camera pans across her stuffed animals arranged on one side of her bed, past her and over to the egg. The clock reads 2:03am. The egg is rocking back and forth. The camera closes in on it. A small hole has almost been chipped out. The plug breaks open, and a long, thin tentacle begins to make its way out. It angles over towards Buffy and branches out into several fingers as it makes its way over to her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room at night. The tentacle continues over to Buffy. One of its fingers goes into her ear. Another one lays itself across her left eye. A third one covers her right eye. Another goes around her neck and presumably into her other ear. Cut to a view of her with the egg in the foreground. The tentacles are now just lying on her face. The focus of the camera goes off of Buffy and onto the egg in its basket.", "Cut to the sewers the next morning. The Gorch brothers are relaxing and waiting out the sunlight that is visible at the end of the tunnel. Tector is having breakfast. Lyle is lying back with his feet up and has his face covered with his hat.", "Tector: I'm tired of rat. How come we can't stay in a nice place? (puts the dead rat down) A motel or somethin'? Maybe, uh... Maybe one with an ice machine.", "Lyle: 'Cause we got to keep a low profile till we get this Slayer business taken care of.", "Tector: Well, how come Angelus is gettin' all cuddly with her, Lyle? I mean, does the man have no code?", "Lyle: (stirs) Tector... (leans up on his elbow) You gonna be pesterin' me with these questions all damn day?", "Tector: I just don't like it here. Ain't a decent whore in the whole city limits.", "Lyle: So, this is the thanks I get? (stands up) Well. Don't I take care of ya? Didn't I near raise ya myself? Hmm? Burden that you were, maybe I shoulda left you on that doorstep when Momma blew town.", "Tector: Don't say that, Lyle.", "Lyle: Now I'm takin' care of this.", "Tector: You afraid of the girl?", "Lyle: I'm just playin' it safe. We're just gonna follow her around a little while, find our time. 'Cause this ain't over.", "Tector: (smiles to himself) I think you *are* afraid of the Slayer.", "Lyle: (nods) Alright. I'm gonna beat you like a redheaded stepchild. (points) Throw your ass out in that sunlight. C'mon.", "Tector: You think you can?", "Lyle: (goads him on) Giddy-up, son. He adjusts his hat and coat while he waits for Tector to stand up. Tector adjusts his hat, too, and smile at his brother. He rears back and takes the first swing, hitting Lyle squarely in the jaw. Lyle looks at his brother, nods and punches him hard in the face. Tector has to take a couple of steps backward to keep from losing his balance.", "Tector: (laughs) Oh, man! He comes back and punches Lyle in the gut. Lyle doubles over for an instant, then straightens up and gives Tector a wide smile.", "Lyle: Yippe-ki-yay, matey! He throws another punch at his brother.", "Cut to Buffy's room in the morning. The camera pans across her stuffed animals to her face. The egg's tentacle is gone. Her alarm goes off, and she wakes. She reaches out to hit the snooze button. She runs her hand through her hair, sits up and moans.", "Buffy: Oh... Oh, God... She gets up out of bed. The hole in the eggshell has sealed itself.", "Cut to the kitchen. Joyce takes a sip of her coffee and sets the cup back down. She goes over to the toaster as Buffy comes in. Buffy sets her egg down on the island and walks around to where her mother was sitting. She takes the cup and sips the coffee as she sits down on the stool. Joyce brings the toast over to the island on a plate.", "Joyce: At least eat something if you're gonna drink that.", "Buffy: Not that hungry. Joyce breaks off a piece of toast and munches it. She indicates the egg.", "Joyce: How's the parenting going?", "Buffy: Fine.", "Joyce: Are you sure your egg is secure in that?", "Buffy: (looks up at her) Did I ask for backseat mommying?", "Joyce: (gives her a look) Are we a little touchy this morning?", "Buffy: No, I just feel all funky.", "Joyce: Hmm. (feels her forehead) You don't have a fever.", "Buffy: Oh, no, it's not that, I just... I didn't sleep well.", "Joyce: (bends down to her daughter) What's the matter? Your egg keep you up all night?", "Buffy: (gives her mom a look) You're killing me. Parenting's a pain!", "Joyce: (straightens up and smiles smugly) Wait till it starts dating. Buffy lets out an exasperated breath, picks up her egg and leaves.", "Cut to the library. Giles is returning some books to the shelves. He walks out from behind the stacks to see Xander, Willow and Buffy looking up at him from the bottom of the steps.", "Giles: Oh! Why are you three hanging about? Don't you have classes to go to?", "Willow: Teen health got canceled.", "Xander: Mr. Whitmore's out. Couldn't find an egg sitter or something. Buffy and Willow walk up a few steps.", "Giles: Well, then, can you give me a hand?", "Buffy and Willow: No. They sit down on the steps. Xander hops up the steps to the mezzanine level.", "Xander: Sure! (starts to shelve some books)", "Giles: How did the, um... hunt go last night, Buffy?", "Buffy: No go.", "Giles: Uh, 'no', 'no' you didn't go, or, or, or you were unsuccessful?", "Buffy: No Gorches.", "Xander: Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. (looks at her) You... Angel... big... smoochies?", "Buffy: Shut... up.", "Giles: I-it's true, Buffy, you and Willow do seem a little sluggish. Are you quite sure everything's alright? Buffy and Willow exchange a look.", "Willow: Maybe something we ate.", "Xander: Or perhaps it's the burden of parenthood. Notice how seriously you two have taken this egg thing. (the girls clutch their egg baskets) While I, in turn, have, uh, well, chosen a (takes his egg out of his shirt pocket) more balanced approach. (starts tossing it around)", "Willow: (concerned) Xander, maybe you shouldn't...", "Xander: (interrupts) That's exactly what I'm talking about. (tosses) You can't stress over every little thing! (tosses) A child picks up on that. Which is a one-way ticket (tosses) to neurotic city. He catches and tosses the egg again, but misses the next catch. The girls gasp in fright as the egg hits the floor. Giles lets out a yelp, too, but then stares at the egg curiously. It just wobbles to a stop, unbroken.", "Willow: (surprised) It didn't break! (suspicious) How come it didn't break?", "Xander: (realizes he's been found out) Which is another secret to conscientious egg care: pot of scalding water and about eight minutes.", "Willow: You boiled your young?", "Xander: Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind! I mean, you can bet that little Xander here is thick skinned now. Xander reaches down for the egg and picks it up.", "Giles: Technically that would be cheating, yes? He reaches up to put a book on a high shelf. At the back of the shelf there's an egg.", "Xander: No! It's like a short cut. You know, when you run a race?", "Buffy: That would also be cheating.", "Willow: (shakes her head) You should be ashamed.", "Giles: I suppose there is a sort of... Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.", "Xander: I resent that! (gets a look from Giles) Or possibly thank you. Cordelia comes walking into the library.", "Cordelia: Figures you three would all be hanging in the dungeon while something major's going on at Sunnydale High.", "Xander: And what would that be, Cordelia? Barrette Appreciation Day?", "(goes back to his shelving)", "Cordelia: Mr. Whitmore didn't show today.", "Buffy: That news is of the past.", "Cordelia: He's missing? (the girls all look at Giles) Presumed dead?", "Giles: Presumed by whom?", "Cordelia: Well, me! (crosses her arms)", "Giles: I think we should give him a few hours before we give up on him completely.", "Cordelia: Well, I think we should look around, don't you Xander?", "Xander: (looks at her and shakes his head) It can wait.", "Cordelia: Well, his body could fall out of a closet somewhere.", "Xander looks at the others nervously.", "Cordelia: So we should check some closets to see if he's in a closet?", "Xander: (points at her) You're right. There could be a closet. Let's go. He points at Buffy and Willow as he comes down the stairs.", "Xander: You guys look for more clues. We'll meet back here. He takes Cordelia by the arm and guides her out of the library.", "Buffy: (unenthusiastically) We'll get right on it.", "Willow: (staring after them) Are they getting weirder? Have you noticed the weirdness of them? (looks at Buffy)", "Buffy: They're weird. (to Giles) Should I have guilt about not looking for Mr. Whitmore?", "Giles: I-I'd rather you conserve your strength for hunting the Gorches.", "Buffy: I'll be fine by tonight. Maybe I'll sweep the cemetery?", "Giles: (concerned) Well, be careful, i-i-if you're still feeling a little sluggish.", "Buffy: No worries.", "Willow: And Angel's helping you, right?", "Buffy: He does what he can.", "Cut to the cemetery that night. Buffy and Angel are engaged in a passionate kissing session once again.", "Buffy: Ahh... (kisses) (breaks off) As much as I hate to say this, we should really go kill bad guys. (kiss)", "Angel: It's late. You should really get home. Hmm? (kiss)", "Buffy: What about the Gorches? (kiss)", "Angel: I'll hunt. (kiss)", "Buffy: Really? (pulls back and smiles) You'd do that?", "Angel: Not like I have an early day tomorrow.", "Buffy: Mm, (kiss) true. (they walk) I still have to go home and fill out my egg diary.", "Angel: Your what?", "Buffy: Oh, I told you, that faux parenting gig we're doing at school. (faces him) Like I'm really planning to have kids anytime soon. Uh, maybe *some*day, in the future, when I'm done having a life, but... right now kids would be just a little too much to deal with.", "Angel: I wouldn't know. (looks at her) I don't... Well, you know, I, I can't.", "Buffy: Oh. (looks away briefly, then back) That's okay, um... I-I figured there were all sorts of things vampires couldn't do. You know, like work for the Telephone Company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or... have little vampires.", "Angel: So you don't think about the future?", "Buffy: No.", "Angel: Never?", "Buffy: No.", "Angel: (swallows) You really don't care what happens a year from now? Five years from now?", "Buffy: Angel, when I look into the future, a-a... all I see is you! All I want is you.", "Angel: I know the feeling. He reaches down to kiss her. He finds her lips and she responds. They kiss more and more passionately. The camera pans away from them and across a gravestone that reads 'In Loving Memory'.", "Cut to the halls at school that night. The night watchman comes walking along and checks a door. Finding it properly locked he continues on. He stops at the hall intersection and looks each way. To his right he sees the door to the basement standing ajar, and goes over to it. He opens it wider, looks in and enters. Cut into the basement. The watchman comes down the steps making no attempt to be quiet. The doors to the boiler room are open, and he steps in. He tries the light switch, but it doesn't work.", "Watchman: Hello? Is anybody in here? He pulls out his Maglite, turns it on and continues into the room. The lights on the boiler controls are active and the fires are burning. When he's walked past the boilers he sees a huge hole in the concrete wall behind a bunch of stacked up barrels and boxes. He slowly walks over to the stack with his flashlight held over his shoulder like a bat, lighting the way but ready to swing if need be. Finding no one there he puts his Maglite down and pushes aside a stack of boxes blocking the way. He can see the hole clearly now, and a tunnel continues on beyond it. He picks up his flashlight again and holds it ready like before. He steps up to look through the hole. Behind him Mr. Whitmore appears holding a pick and slams him across the back with it, making him fall through the hole and knocking him out. Mr. Whitmore climbs through the hole after the watchman.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She climbs in through the window, and her egg rocking in its basket immediately grabs her attention. She stares at it a second, and then comes over to it. She bends down to look at it closely, not having expected it to hatch and curious about it. She gets closer and closer, staring at it intently. The top half of the shell cracks into thirds. Suddenly two of the pieces fly away while the third just falls back, and she sees a purplish-gray thing with tentacles is curled up inside of it. It jumps out at her, and she reacts instantly. It misses her, lands on the floor and quickly crawls under her bed. Buffy is stunned, but quickly regains her composure, and reaches down into her wicker laundry basket for her iron. She stands back up and looks at the darkness under her bedspread. Slowly she approaches her bed and kneels down. She quickly raises the spread and looks underneath with the iron held ready to smash anything that might come at her. Nothing. She stands back up and scans around her room. Whatever it was, it's nowhere to be seen. Suddenly it falls onto her shoulder from above. It tries to crawl down her back, but she grabs it and flings it off. It crawls quickly behind her desk and along the wall past her bookcase toward her bed. She looks for a different weapon, and grabs a pair of scissors from her desk. The creature, in the mean time, has disappeared again. She approaches her bed with the scissors held ready to stab. Behind her the hatchling crawls up the wall. Buffy senses it and swings around with the scissors and stabs it dead center. She pulls it off of the wall, impaled on the scissors, and slams it to the floor. She steps on its tail to hold it down while she stabs it several more times. Satisfied of its demise she drops the scissors and crawls backward to lean against her bed. Her next thought is to call Willow. She frantically grabs for her phone on the nightstand and knocks it and the clock to the floor. She grabs the receiver and nervously taps in the numbers.", "Buffy: Come on! Pick up!", "Willow: (after the first ring) Hello?", "Buffy: Willow! Are you okay?", "Willow: (cut to her) Why shouldn't I be?", "Buffy: (cut to her) Your egg! I-is it doing anything?", "Willow: (cut to her) (confused) Doing what?", "Buffy: Break it! (cut to her) Right now! I want you to smash it with something heavy!", "Willow: Buffy, what...", "Buffy: My egg! It went... It went postal on me! The thing hatched, and it, it sprung this creepy-crawly thing, and it attacked me!", "Willow: (cut to her) Are you okay?", "Buffy: (cut to her) Yeah, no, I'm fine, but, but your egg!", "Willow: (cut to her) I-is totally normal. Uh, I put it in the fridge.", "Buffy: Oh.", "Willow: Maybe it's a trap. Something the Gorch bothers planted for you?", "Buffy: (cut to her) Maybe. Yeah, uh... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you. Uh, g-go back to sleep.", "Willow: (cut to her) You sure?", "Buffy: (cut to her) Yeah! Yeah, I'm, I'm better. I'm, I'm fine.", "Willow: (cut to her) Okay. I'll see ya tomorrow.", "Cut to Buffy. She lowers the phone and turns it off.", "Cut to Willow. She puts her phone back in its cradle. The two halves of the empty eggshell are covered on the inside with a grayish-blue slime. The camera pulls in for a close-up of Willow's face. She stares blankly off into space.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room at night. She puts her phone and its cradle back on her nightstand behind her clock. It's 2:45am. Suddenly she hears her door open and her mother coming in.", "Joyce: What's going on in here? Thinking quickly Buffy grabs the cloth from her former egg's basket and lays it over the dead creature.", "Joyce: Buffy, who are you talking to at this ho...? Buffy scrambles to her feet and faces her mother, eyes wide with surprise.", "Joyce: Why are you dressed? Where exactly do you think you're going at this hour of the night?", "Buffy: Nowhere.", "Joyce: Who was that on the phone? (comes in further)", "Buffy: Um, uh, Willow. (exhales) She wasn't feeling well today, so I was just calling to make sure she was feeling better.", "Joyce: (crosses her arms) You're gonna have to do much better than that, young lady.", "Buffy: I had a bad dream?", "Joyce: Oh, no, you're about to have a bad dream! (comes to stand next to her) A dream that you are grounded for the rest of your natural life.", "Cut to the next morning in their Jeep pulling to a stop in front of the school.", "Joyce: Which means: no after school socializing, no Bronze, no nothing. Not until I say so. Do you understand?", "Buffy: Yeah, but I think you're...", "Joyce: (interrupts) Now, school ends at 2:30. I want you to go to the library at 2:33 and study until I pick you up there at 5:30. Understood?", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Joyce: Good. Have a nice day. Buffy undoes her seatbelt, grabs her backpack and gets out of the car. She closes the door behind her and pulls on the backpack while she watches her mother drive off. She climbs the stairs up from the street and goes over to Cordelia who just finished talking with a friend. She has a teddy bear backpack.", "Buffy: Nice bear. Listen is your...", "Cordelia: (interrupts) Hey, I'll have you know that my father brought this bear back from Gstaad years ago. Then all of a sudden these trendoids everywhere started sporting them. So I'm totally not wearing it. Then I thought, hey, I'm the one who started this nationwide craze! What am I ashamed of?", "Buffy: Okay, Soliloquy Girl, I just wanted to ask about your egg.", "Cordelia: My egg?", "Buffy: Yeah. Your egg. The one Mr. Whitmore gave you.", "Cordelia: It's in my bear.", "Buffy: So, your egg isn't acting odd or anything?", "Cordelia: It isn't acting anything. It's an egg, Buffy, it doesn't emote. (sees another friend) Shanisse! (goes away) Is that your real hair? Buffy watches her go. Willow puts her hand on Buffy's shoulder, and she turns to face her.", "Willow: Hey!", "Buffy: Hi!", "Cut to Xander munching on a candy bar. He looks down at it as he chews hard.", "Xander: Mm. Cardboardy! He sits on a wall and discards the rest of the candy bar. He opens his satchel and digs through it for his egg. He pulls it out, looks at it and lets out a breath.", "Xander: Sorry, Junior, but a man's gotta eat. He taps the egg a few times on the wall next to him and then rolls it back and forth under his hand. Cut to Buffy and Willow walking across the grass toward Xander. Behind them Cordelia catches up as she looks through a book.", "Willow: So, was there any more hatchling activity last night?", "Buffy: No. Uh, you were probably right. It was just a trap from them set for me. And, (sees Cordelia) mm, (indicates her) everyone else's egg seemed perfectly normal.", "Xander: Did you bring the thing that attacked you.", "Buffy: Yeah. Giles wants to see it. He's in full research mode.", "Willow: Okay. Well, bring it to the science lab, and I'll get Giles, and we'll analyze it. The camera pans around them and focuses on Willow's lower back.", "Buffy: Great. You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy... is like a day without sunshine. The camera shows a hatchling attached to Willow's back under her shirt.", "Cut to Xander. He smiles and nods at the girls when he sees them coming.", "Xander: Hey. He holds up the egg, ready to take a bite. There's a purplish-gray creature still inside, dead from being boiled. Xander looks at it just as he's about to bite into it and freaks out. He screams as he tosses the egg away from him.", "Cut to the science lab. The hatchling is laid out in a dissection tray. Xander taps his fingers on the table as he and Buffy look at it.", "Xander: Can I just say Gyughhh!", "Buffy: I see your 'Gyughhh!' and raise you a Nyaghhh!", "Cordelia: What is it?", "Xander: We don't know what it is, Cordelia, that's why we're here. Capisce?", "Cordelia: 'Capisce'? What are you, world traveler now? Willow comes into the lab.", "Buffy: Hey, where's Giles? I know he won't wanna miss this.", "Willow: He said to get started. He'll be by as soon as possible.", "Xander: So, okay! Get started, Buffy! Dissect it or something. (hands her a scalpel)", "Buffy: (takes the blade) Me? Why do *I* have to dissect it?", "Xander: Uh, because you're the Slayer?", "Buffy: And I slayed! My work here is done. (puts the scalpel on the table in front of Xander)", "Xander: Oh, no, I almost *ate* one of those things. I think I've fulfilled my gross-out quota for the decade.", "Willow: Guys... She takes the scalpel and starts the dissection. The camera pans around Cordelia to her bear.", "Xander: Do we even know what to look for? I mean, how are we supposed to figure out what this thing is? The bear's right eye pops out and a tentacle emerges.", "Buffy: Turn it over. Maybe we missed its ID bracelet. The bear's left eye pops out and another tentacle emerges.", "Xander: So, now I guess, uh, we know what happened to Mr. Whitmore.", "Cut to them talking.", "Cordelia: He saw this and ran away?", "Buffy: Try best case scenario.", "Willow: It's possible that Mr. Whitmore wasn't harmed. Maybe the offspring simply used him to return to the mother bezoar. Cordelia leans over to pick something up.", "Xander: Yeah. Maybe he... (turns to Willow) What? Cordelia straightens back up holding a metal bar, which she wields like a baseball bat.", "Buffy: What's a bez... Cordelia hits Buffy in the face with the bar, knocking her down and out.", "Xander: Cordy! What... Willow picks up a microscope and hits Xander over the head with it just as he looks back at her again. The screen goes black.", "Cut to the utility closet. It's pitch dark inside. Willow opens the door, and she and Cordelia drag Xander in. They heave him in, and he falls to the floor. They step out to let two boys drag Buffy in as well, and they let her drop unceremoniously. They leave the closet, and Willow closes and locks the door.", "Cut to the groundkeeper's shed. Willow opens the double doors and walks in. Cordelia follows her, and a line of students is right behind. Willow walks up to a post where a couple of dozen picks, axes, hoes and shovels are kept. She grabs a pickaxe and heads back out of the door. Cordelia grabs a hoe and follows. Student after student, and even an occasional teacher, grabs a digging tool and follows Willow.", "Cut to the hall outside the basement door. Willow walks up to the open door and heads right in. The line of students is right behind her. Cut inside the basement. They come down the stairs and head into the boiler room. One by one they step though the hole in the wall and follow the tunnel down. Mr. Whitmore is standing by the hole keeping guard. Cut outside the school. It's gotten dark. Cut to the library. Joyce walks in and looks around.", "Joyce: Buffy? She continues in and keeps looking.", "Joyce: Hello?", "Giles: (pokes his head out of the cage) Hello?", "Joyce: (faces him) Oh! Mr. Giles, hi. Uh, I-I was looking for Buffy. She, she was supposed to wait for me here.", "Giles: Well, sh-she hasn't been in. I-I've been waiting to talk to her myself about, uh, uh... h-history texts.", "Joyce: (leans on the card catalog) That is just the last straw!", "Giles: I-I'm sure she didn't mean to, uh...", "Joyce: She never means to, but somehow she always manages to anyway. Do you have children, Mr. Giles?", "Giles: Um...", "Joyce: (whispers) Sh-should I be whispering?", "Giles: (whispers) No. (speaks) A-a-and, uh, no, I, I haven't any children. A-although, uh, sometimes I feel as though I do, uh, working here...", "Joyce: They can be such a... (considers her words) Oh, uh, I-I-I don't want to say 'burden', but, uh... Uh, actually I kind of *do* want to say 'burden'! (smiles)", "Giles: (smiles) Feel free!", "Joyce: Oh, they're just so irresponsible.", "Giles: Sometimes.", "Joyce: (notices the books lying on the catalog) 'Bristow's Demon Index', 'Hell's Offspring'?", "Giles: (takes the books) A hobby of mine, uh, but, uh, having nothing to do with Buffy in any way. He takes the books into the cage, stows them on a shelf and then comes back out.", "Giles: Um, you say Buffy told you that she'd be here all afternoon?", "Joyce: Well, yes. I-i-is something wrong?", "Giles: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing. (pulls open a drawer) (hears a noise in the hall) What was that?", "Joyce: Mm, probably the janitor. She faces the door to look. Giles takes a hatchling out of the card catalog drawer and sets it on Joyce's back. She screams as she tries to reach around her back and falls to the floor. Giles stares blankly off into space. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall outside the library. Giles and Joyce come walking out into the hall staring blankly ahead and join the line of students and teachers heading for the basement.", "Cut to the utility closet. Buffy has regained consciousness and reaches up for the light string and gives it a yank. She takes a quick look around and then looks down at Xander, still out cold on the floor.", "Buffy: Hey! Xander! (slaps his cheek) Hey! You alright?", "Xander: (wakes, moans and blinks his eyes) Last time Cordy dragged me in here it was a lot nicer.", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: Uh... (fully awake now) Huh? Nothing. Uh, crazy talk. Head trauma.", "Buffy: (helps him sit up) Tell me about it. I'm gonna have a (feels her head) big bump.", "Xander: Uh, I'm gonna have a peninsula! (points at his head) Here, (she helps him up) what, what the hell's goin' on? Cordy and Willow? They look around the room.", "Buffy: Something to do with the hatchlings, I'm sure of it. She tries the door but finds it locked.", "Xander: What, are they possessed?", "Buffy: I don't know. But they sure wanted us out of the way.", "Xander: (holding his head) Well, why not kill us? (lets go of his head) Why, uh, why drag us in here? Buffy spots two eggs on the floor. Xander follows her gaze. One of them is rocking.", "Xander: Oh. (steps back) Bad now. Buffy looks around for something heavy and sees a toolbox. She picks it up from the shelf, raises it and smashes it onto the two eggs. A dark blue slime squirts out around the toolbox. Then she kicks open the door.", "Xander: (holds his head again) Thank you. (moans and follows her out)", "Cut to the library. Buffy and Xander come rushing in.", "Buffy: Giles!", "Xander: Giles! They look around, but find the place deserted.", "Xander: He must be out somewhere.", "Buffy: Well, he picked a helluva time to get a life.", "Xander: What are we gonna do?", "Buffy: We can't fight these things until we know something about 'em.", "Xander: (thinks) Alright, Willow said something. Uh, a name. What was it?", "Buffy: A bozo! Not a bozo.", "Xander: A bezoar.", "Buffy: That's it! Okay, so now... we look it up?", "Xander: In what?", "Buffy: A book? They look over at the counter where there are several books lying open and go over to them.", "Buffy: Giles said he was gonna try to find something... She takes the book on top that's open to a picture and turns it around to look at it. The sketch is of a disk-shaped, tentacled monster.", "Buffy: And I'd say he found something. Xander moves around her to have a look himself, steps on half an eggshell and looks down at it.", "Xander: I'd say something found him.", "Cut to the basement. Giles and Joyce lead a line of students to the hole and step through. They head down the tunnel and come out into another room deeper underground. Giles heads to the side ramp that leads to a slightly lower level and takes a crowbar handed to him by Mr. Whitmore, who has a box of new bezoar eggs in his other arm. The camera pans across the room, past Cordelia wiping off eggs being handed to her from below by another student, to Willow pounding on the concrete floor with a sledgehammer. Joyce goes down the other side and takes a hoe held out to her by the watchman. She starts banging it on the floor as the watchman goes back to his post. Cut to a close-up of the floor. A large chunk has broken off and appears to be floating on something. Willow and Joyce keep pounding on it to break it up into smaller pieces. Cut to a student pulling an egg out from between some larger gaps in the floor. He hands it up to Cordelia, who wipes it off in a towel and hands it to Mr. Whitmore, who places it in a wooden box filled with wood shavings and more eggs. Cut to the floor again. The camera pans over to a large hole in the floor where the concrete has already been removed and shows the pink-fleshed mother bezoar's body as it moves and throbs.", "Cut to the library. Buffy reads from the book out loud.", "Buffy: 'Pre-pre-historic parasite. The mother hibernates underground, laying eggs. The offspring then attach themselves to a host, taking control of their motor functions through neural clamping.'", "Xander: 'Neural clamping.' That sounds skippable.", "Buffy: So, our people are taking orders from the mama bezoar. Which begs the question...", "Xander: What does mama want? They hear a student screaming out in the hall.", "Jonathon: Somebody help me! They run out to investigate. Cut to the hall. Jonathon is struggling with a hatchling on his back and falls to the floor, screaming.", "Jonathon: Get this thing off me! Get this... Somebody help me! Help! Buffy and Xander come running out the door and see Jonathon get back up.", "Buffy: Are you okay?", "Jonathon: (deadpan) I'm fine. I slipped. He turns and heads down the hall. Buffy and Xander exchange a look.", "Buffy: I think I hear mommy calling.", "Xander: Uh-huh. They follow Jonathon down the hall. Cut to the boiler room. Jonathon comes walking in and heads straight for the hole. Buffy and Xander peek in, and seeing no one else is there follow him in. Around the corner from the boilers they see Jonathon climb through the hole and head down the tunnel.", "Xander: Do we really wanna go in there?", "Buffy: We really don't. They exchange another look and make for the hole. Buffy climbs in and looks back at Xander before continuing down the tunnel.", "Xander: Careful. He starts through as well, but doesn't lift his foot high enough and trips through the hole and falls into the tunnel.", "Cut to the room below. The digging and egg gathering activity continues. Jonathon comes walking in. Behind him Buffy and Xander peek into the room.", "Xander: What are they diggin' up? The camera pans over to a student and shows the pink mother bezoar in the pit.", "Buffy: Oh, boy. She sees Cordelia handing Mr. Whitmore an egg.", "Buffy: We can't let them spread those eggs.", "Xander: I'll handle it. Um, can you, uh, hold down the fort?" ]

[ "Buffy turns 17 and the Scoobies plan a surprise party. Meanwhile Drusilla plans her own celebration as Spike collects her presents: the disassembled pieces of The Judge, an ancient demon called to cleanse the world of humanity. Stymied at every turn, Buffy and Angel go back to his place to regroup, where they confess their deepest feelings and make love for the first time. Afterwards, Angel wakes in the middle of the night calling Buffy's name in anguish..." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Buffy's room at night. She sleeps fitfully. She wakes with a start and puts her hand to her head. She reaches over to her lamp, turns it on and lets out a sigh. She takes her glass from her nightstand for a drink, but finds it nearly empty. She gets up to fill it.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of her room holding the glass and walks down the hall. Behind her Drusilla stalks her. Buffy opens the door to the bathroom and suddenly finds herself at the Bronze. A slow ballad, \"Anything\", by Shawn Clement and Sean Murray, is playing. Buffy ventures in.", "Lyrics: Take me over, I'm lying down / I'm giving in to you She finds Willow sitting at a table with a large cup of cappuccino and an organ grinder's monkey.", "Willow: (to the monkey) L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons.", "Translation: The hippo stole his pants.", "Lyrics: I'm a hurricane The monkey on the table with her squeaks. Buffy walks up to the table and looks at Willow curiously. Willow smiles at her and waves. Buffy raises her hand back, but remains confused about the monkey.", "Lyrics: I cannot describe this feeling Buffy continues on and finds her mother holding a large cup and saucer.", "Lyrics: Now that I've found this love Her mother sees her coming, and she turns to face her daughter.", "Joyce: Do you really think you're ready, Buffy?", "Buffy: What? Joyce drops the saucer. Buffy watches it fall. It shatters on the floor. Joyce just turns and slowly walks away.", "Lyrics: I'll do anything for you Buffy watches her go, then looks around the room again.", "Lyrics: Now that I've found this love She walks past Willow again and through the crowd to the stage. It's empty, no band tonight. She turns around and smiles warmly.", "Lyrics: I'm a fire, burning like a house aflame Angel is standing at the pool table. He smiles and starts toward her.", "Lyrics: I'm a hurricane Buffy begins to walk toward him.", "Lyrics: I cannot move or see you fly / Now that I've found... Drusilla suddenly appears behind Angel. She is vamped out, and thrusts a stake into his back and pulls it out. He arches backward in pain.", "Buffy: ANGEL!", "Lyrics: ...this love They reach out for each other. Before she can touch him his hand begins to disintegrate. The rings on his fingers fall to the floor. His body doesn't explode like most vampires', but just crumbles to dust. Drusilla lowers the stake and takes the few steps over to Buffy.", "Drusilla: Happy Birthday, Buffy.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She wakes from her nightmare and quickly sits up, surprised and confused. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Angel's apartment. There's a knock at the door.", "Angel: Hold on. He reaches for the knob and opens it. Buffy is standing there with a worried look on her face.", "Angel: Hey. Is everything okay?", "Buffy: That's what I was gonna ask you. You're okay, right?", "Angel: Sure. I-I'm fine. (gestures for her to come in) What's up? She comes in and puts her bag down. He swings the door partially closed and walks over to grab a shirt.", "Buffy: Um... I-I had this... dream that Drusilla was alive.", "Angel: (pulls on the shirt) What happened?", "Buffy: She killed you. Right in front of me.", "Angel: It was just a dream. It wasn't real.", "Buffy: But it felt so real.", "Angel: (puts his hand to her cheek) It wasn't. I'm right here.", "Buffy: Angel, th-this happened before. The dreams that I had about the Master, they came true.", "Angel: (reassuringly) Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?", "Buffy: (looks down) I dreamt... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.", "Angel: See my point?", "Buffy: (exhales) Yeah, I-I do, but... what if Drusilla is alive? We never saw her body.", "Angel: (reassures) She's not. But even if she was, we'd deal.", "Buffy: W-w-what if she is... He grabs and kisses her, and she responds. A couple of kisses later they break off and look at each other.", "Angel: What if what?", "Buffy: (whispers) I'm sorry. Were we talking? Angel leans over to kiss her again. They put their arms around each other and hold each other closely as they kiss. Buffy suddenly breaks off and looks down.", "Buffy: I'm sorry. I, um... I-I have to go to school. She turns and quickly heads for the door.", "Angel: I know. He follows her, takes her arm, turns her around and kisses her again passionately. They take hold of each other again. They stop kissing a moment later but keep touching foreheads.", "Buffy: Oh, God, you feel...", "Angel: You have to go to school. (guides her to the door)", "Buffy: Right. I know. This is me. (backs into and shuts the door) I'm going. They begin kissing passionately again. After a while they stop and look at each other.", "Angel: You still haven't told me what you wanted for your birthday.", "Buffy: (smiles) Surprise me.", "Angel: (smiles) Okay. I will. They kiss.", "Buffy: (smiles) This is nice. I like seeing you first thing in the morning.", "Angel: It's bedtime for me.", "Buffy: Well, then I like seeing you at bedtime. Um... Um, heh... Y-you know what I mean.", "Angel: I think so. What do you mean?", "Buffy: I like seeing you. The part at the end of the night where we say good-bye... It's getting harder.", "Angel: Yeah. It is.", "Willow: 'I like you at bedtime?'", "Cut to the lawn under the trees at Sunnydale High. Willow and Buffy are walking.", "Willow: You actually said that?", "Buffy: I know, I know.", "Willow: Man, that's like... I-I dunno, that's moxie or something.", "Buffy: Totally unplanned. It just... came out.", "Willow: (giggles) And he was into it? I mean, he wants to see you at bedtime, too?", "Buffy: Yeah, I, I, I think he does. Well, I, I mean he-he's cool about it.", "Willow: Well, of course he is. 'Cause he's cool. I mean, he would never... you know...", "Buffy: Push.", "Willow: Right. H-he's not the type.", "Buffy: Will, what am I gonna do?", "Willow: What do you wanna do?", "Buffy: I don't know. I... I mean, (they sit on a bench) 'want' isn't always the right thing *to* do. To act on want can be wrong.", "Willow: True.", "Buffy: But... to *not* act on want... What if I never feel this way again?", "Willow: Carpe diem. You told me that once.", "Buffy: 'Fish of the day'?", "Willow: Not carp. (smiles) Carpe. It means 'seize the day.'", "Buffy: Right. I... I think we're going to. Seize it. Once you get to a certain point, then seizing is sort of inevitable.", "Willow: (wide-eyed) Wow...", "Buffy: (smiles) Yeah.", "Willow: Wow... The school bell rings.", "Buffy: Oh... (gets up and goes)", "Willow: (gets up and follows) Wow!", "Cut to them still walking. Willow stares at Buffy.", "Willow: Wow.", "Buffy: (smiles) Yeah. She looks over to the side and sees Oz sitting at a bench with his guitar.", "Buffy: Hey, speaking of 'wow' potential, there's Oz over there. What are we thinking, any sparkage?", "Willow: (smiles) He's nice. Hey, I like his hands.", "Buffy: Mm. A fixation on insignificant detail is a definite crush sign.", "Willow: Oh, I don't know, though. I mean, he is a senior.", "Buffy: (stops) You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial.", "Willow: That's true. (unsure) Uh... I guess... I just...", "Buffy: You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move. Do the talking thing.", "Willow: Well, what if the talking thing becomes the awkward-silence thing?", "Buffy: Well, you won't know until you try. She walks off leaving Willow to consider her next action. She looks at Oz, at Buffy walking away and back at Oz.", "Cut to Oz on the bench. He's practicing with his guitar. Willow walks around the bench and stands next to him.", "Willow: Hey.", "Oz: (looks up) Hey. (gives her his attention)", "Willow: Do you guys, uh, have a gig tonight?", "Oz: Oh, no. Practice. See, our band's kinda moving towards this new sound where... we suck, so... practice.", "Willow: (smiles) I think you guys sound good.", "Oz: Thanks.", "Willow: I bet you have a lot of groupies.", "Oz: (nods) It happens. Now, I'm living groupie-free nowadays. I'm clean.", "Willow: (smiles) Oh. (begins to feel awkward)", "Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.", "Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.", "Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. (Willow smiles) Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?", "Willow: (cringes and slaps her hand to her forehead) Oh! I can't!", "Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.", "Willow: Oh, it's just it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.", "Oz: It's okay.", "Willow: But you could come. If you want to.", "Oz: Well, I don't wanna crash.", "Willow: No, it's fine! Well, you could be m... my date.", "Oz: (nods) All right. I'm in. (smiles) Willow smiles back, and after a moment indicates she has to go. Oz nods to give her leave. She starts away, smiling widely.", "Willow: (to herself) I said 'date'.", "Cut to Cordelia's locker. The camera is inside looking out. Cordelia swings the door open. Xander is standing behind her.", "Xander: So... Buffy's party. Manana.", "Cordelia: Well, just because she's Miss Save-The-World and everything, you have to make a big deal? I have to cook! And everything.", "Xander: You're cooking?", "Cordelia: Well, I'm chips and dips girl.", "Xander: (gasps) Horrors! All that opening and stirring.", "Cordelia: And shopping and carrying.", "Xander: Well, then you should have a person who does such things for you.", "Cordelia: Well, that's what I've been saying to my father, but does he listen?", "Xander: Um, so, uh... You're going, and, and, and I'm going. Should... we maybe... go? Cut outside the locker.", "Cordelia: Why?", "Xander: I dunno. This... thing with us, despite our better judgment, it keeps happening. Maybe we should just admit that we're dating.", "Cordelia: Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until the guy spends money.", "Xander: Fine. I'll spend, then we'll grope. Whatever. I just think it's some kind of whacked that we feel we have to hide it from all our friends.", "Cordelia: Well, of course *you* wanna tell everybody. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I, on the other hand, have *everything* to be ashamed of.", "Xander: You know what? 'Nuff said. Forget it. It must've been my multiple-personality guy talking. I call him Idiot Jed, glutton for punishment. He looks at her and exhales, then turns and walks off. Cut further down the hall. Giles comes walking out of the lounge and sees Xander.", "Giles: Oh, good morning. (quietly) Is everything in order for the party?", "Xander: Absolutely. You ready to get down, you funky party weasel? Giles looks at the stairs and sees Jenny and Buffy coming down.", "Giles: Here comes Buffy. (to Xander) Now remember: discretion is the better part of valor.", "Xander: You coulda just said, 'shh!' God, are all you Brits such drama queens? (to Buffy) Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.", "Jenny: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander. She and Buffy sit at a table in the lounge.", "Xander: (into his shirt) Check, cancel spanking.", "Giles: (sits also) You alright, Buffy? You seem a little fatigued.", "Buffy: Rough night. I had a dream that Drusilla was alive and she killed Angel. I-it just really freaked me out.", "Giles: You fear it was more of a, a... a portent?", "Buffy: See, I don't know. I don't wanna start a big freakout over nothing.", "Giles: Still, best to be, uh, on the alert. If Drusilla is alive, i-i- it could be a fairly... cataclysmic state of affairs.", "Xander: Again, so many words! Couldn't you just say, 'we'd be in trouble'?", "Giles: (gives Xander a look) Go to class, Xander.", "Xander: Gone. (gets up and starts away, but stops) Notice the economy of phrasing: 'gone.' Simple. Direct. (points at Giles and leaves)", "Buffy: Maybe I should get 'gone', too. (stands up)", "Giles: (stands up) Uh, don't worry unduly, Buffy. I-I-I'm sure it's nothing.", "Buffy: I know. I should keep my Slayer cool, but... it's Angel, which automatically equals maxi-wig.", "Giles: Hmm. He gives her a smile as she goes.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Dalton comes in carrying a large wooden box.", "Dalton: I have your package.", "Spike: Just put it on the table... near the other gifts. Dalton walks past the camera to the table as Spike rolls into view in a wheelchair. Drusilla follows him, guiding the chair.", "Spike: Are you dead set on this, pet? Wouldn't you rather have your party in Vienna?", "Drusilla: But the invitations are sent.", "Spike: Yeah. It's just I've had it with this place. Nothing ever comes off like it's supposed to.", "Drusilla: (leans in and puts her hands on his chest) My gatherings are always perfect. Remember Spain? (crouches next to him) Hey... The bulls?", "(walks her fingers up his arm)", "Spike: I remember, sweet. But Sunnydale's cursed for us. Angel and the", "Slayer see to that.", "Drusilla: Shhh... (into his ear) I've got good games for everyone. (licks his cheek) You'll see. She walks over to the table and inspects the roses and other red flowers that have been woven into the high backs of the chairs. She steps up to one.", "Drusilla: These flowers... are wrong. (the decorators look worried) They're all... wrong! (moans) (Spike looks worried) I can't abide them!", "(screams and rips at them)", "Spike: Let's try something different with the flowers then.", "She looks at him and calms down a bit. Then she eyes the boxes on the table and slowly walks around to them.", "Drusilla: Can I open one? Can I? Spike smiles at her, and she smiles back.", "Drusilla: Can I? Ooo...", "Spike: Just a peek, love. She excitedly reaches for the latch on one of them.", "Spike: They're for the party. He wheels himself over to her. Cut inside the box. Drusilla lifts the lid, inhales in wonder and smiles.", "Spike: Do you like it, baby?", "Drusilla: It reeks of death. Cut outside the box. She sighs and kneels in front of Spike.", "Drusilla: This will be the best party ever.", "Spike: Why is that?", "Drusilla: Because... She stands back up and leans toward the box. Cut inside the box.", "Drusilla: It will be the last. She slams the lid shut. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at the Summers house. Joyce gets up from the far side of the island and takes her plate over to the sink. Buffy is sitting on the other side of the island.", "Joyce: Mall trip for your birthday on Saturday. Don't forget.", "Buffy: Space on a mom-sponsored shopping opportunity? Not likely.", "Joyce: Hmm. So, does, um, 17 feel any different than 16?", "Buffy: It's funny you should ask that. (gets Joyce's attention) You know, I woke up feeling more responsible, mature and levelheaded.", "Joyce: Really? Tch. It's uncanny.", "Buffy: I now possess the qualities one looks for in a... licensed driver. (looks at her mom hopefully)", "Joyce: Buffy...", "Buffy: You said we could talk about it again when I was 17.", "Joyce: Do you really think you're ready, Buffy? She gives her mom a surprised look. Joyce drops her plate. Buffy watches it fall and sees it shatter on the floor.", "Cut to Ms. Calendar's classroom. She walks to her desk with an arm full of papers. She sets down her mug and a couple of other things and begins to go through them. Behind her a man in a dark suit and hat approaches her. He stops and looks at her.", "Enyos: Jenny Calendar. Jenny spins around, startled. She stares at him in surprise.", "Jenny: You startled me.", "Enyos: You look well. (steps up to her desk)", "Jenny: Yes, I'm fine. (goes around her desk) I know I haven't written as much lately. I've been busy.", "Enyos: I cannot imagine what is so important to make you ignore the responsibility to your people.", "Jenny: Well, I've been working and...", "Enyos: (interrupts) The elder woman has been reading signs. Something is different.", "Jenny: Nothing has changed. The curse still holds.", "Enyos: The elder woman is never wrong. She says his pain is lessening. She can feel it.", "Jenny: (looks down) There is...", "Enyos: There is what?", "Jenny: (looks up) A girl.", "Enyos: (exhales in disgust) What? How could you let this happen?", "Jenny: I promise you. Angel still suffers. And he makes amends for his evil. He even saved my life.", "Enyos: So you just forget that he destroyed the most beloved daughter of your tribe?! That he *killed* every man, woman and child that touched her life?! Vengeance demands that his pain be eternal as ours is! If this, this girl gives him one *minute* of happiness, it is one minute too much!", "Jenny: I'm sorry. I thought...", "Enyos: You thought what?! You thought you are Jenny Calendar now?! You are still Janna, of the Kalderash people! A Gypsy.", "Jenny: I know... Uncle. I know.", "Enyos: Then prove it. Your time for watching is past. The girl and him, it ends now! Do what you must to take her from him!", "Jenny: I will see to it.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting at the table while Giles paces behind her.", "Buffy: ...and then my mom broke the plate. It was just like my dream. Every gesture, every word. (looks up at him) It was so creepy.", "Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I'd imagine it would be... fairly unnerving. He sits on the end of the table. Xander and Willow come bounding in.", "Xander: Hey! It's the woman of the hour.", "Willow: It's Happy Birthday Buffy! She jumps over to the table, hugs Buffy's shoulders and gives her a big smile. She lets go and goes around to the other side of the table with Xander. Buffy just looks down and pulls her hair behind her ear.", "Willow: Not Happy Birthday Buffy?", "Giles: I-it's just that, um, part of the nightmare that Buffy had the other night actually transpired.", "Buffy: Which means Drusilla might still be alive. Giles, in my dream, I couldn't stop her. She blindsided me. A-Angel was gone before I knew what happened.", "Giles: Even if she is alive, uh, we can still protect Angel. Dreams aren't prophecies, Buffy. Y-y-y-you dreamt that the Master had risen, but you stopped it from happening.", "Xander: You ground his bones to make your bread.", "Buffy: That's true. Except for the bread part. (to Giles) Okay, so, fine. We're one step ahead, but I wanna stay that way.", "Giles: Absolutely. (stands up) Let me read up on Drusilla, uh, see if she has any particular patterns. (starts toward his office) Why don't you meet me here at 7:00? We'll map out a strategy.", "Buffy: What am I supposed to do until then?", "Giles: Go to classes, do your homework, have supper...", "Buffy: Right. Be *that* Buffy. She gets up from the table, grabs her bag and heads out of the library.", "Xander: (pointing) Well, that's not a perky birthday puppy.", "Willow: So much for our surprise party. I bought little hats and everything.", "Xander: Mm-hm.", "Willow: Oh, well. I guess I'll tell Cordelia. (starts to go)", "Giles: No, you won't. (Willow and Xander stop) We're having a party tonight.", "Xander: (stares at Giles) Looks like Mr. Caution Man, but the sound he makes is funny. Willow frowns and nods in agreement.", "Giles: Buffy's surprise party will go ahead as we planned. Except I won't be wearing the little hat.", "Willow: But Buffy and Angel...", "Giles: May well be in danger... as they have been before, and, I imagine, will be again. One thing I've learned in my tenure here on the Hellmouth is that there is no good time to relax. And Buffy's turning 17 just this once, and she deserves a party.", "Xander: You're a great man of our time.", "Willow: (smiles) And anyway, Angel's coming. So she'll be able to protect him *and* have cake.", "Giles: Precisely. He goes into his office. Willow and Xander leave with a happy bounce in their step.", "Cut to the school that night. Cut to a hall. Buffy comes walking down. Jenny sees her.", "Jenny: Buffy.", "Buffy: (startled) Oh, my God, I didn't see you there.", "Jenny: Sorry. Um, Giles wanted me to tell you that there's been a change of plans. Uh, he wants to meet you someplace near his house 'cause he had to run home and get a book or something.", "Buffy: 'Cause heaven knows there aren't enough books in the library.", "Jenny: Uh, he's... very thorough.", "Buffy: Oh, which is not to bag. It's kind of manly in an obsessive- compulsive kind of way, don't you think?", "Jenny: Mm-hm. Um, you know, my car's here. Why don't I drive you?", "Buffy: Okay. She starts out to the parking lot. Jenny watches her go a few steps and then follows.", "Cut to the alley outside the Bronze. Jenny's Beetle rolls slowly along.", "Buffy: Are we goin' to the Bronze?", "Jenny: I'm not sure. Giles gave me an address. I'm just following his directions. They round a corner, and Buffy sees something going on.", "Buffy: This looks funky. Stop for a sec. A truck is parked in an adjacent loading area. A man jumps off of the truck bed while another walks across the loading dock.", "Jenny: No, Buffy, maybe you shouldn't.", "Buffy: Sorry. Sacred duty, yada yada yada. She gets out of the car and goes to investigate.", "Jenny: (sighs) What is this? (leans her head on her hand)", "Cut to the truck. Buffy walks up and stops by the cab. She sees Dalton carrying a wooden box.", "Buffy: Every time I see you, you're stealing something. (Dalton growls) You really should speak with someone about this klepto issue. The truck's engine starts. Buffy turns and reaches for the door handle. Dalton makes a hasty escape. The truck door swings open before Buffy can reach it, and a vampire kicks out at her, hitting her in the arm, but not hard. She grabs for him and pulls him out of the cab and onto the ground. Dalton lifts the box onto the back of the truck. The vampire gets up from the pavement, and Buffy punches him, knocking him back down again. She backs up toward the truck to get around him, but a third vampire standing in the bed grabs her by the jacket and lifts her up. He gets her in a full Nelson hold. She pushes him back into a large box. He is stunned and lets go of his hold. She snaps her head back and butts him hard. The other vampire has climbed onto the truck bed also and comes at her. She punches him, turns and punches the one behind her, turns and punches the other one again, then kicks him in the chest, making him fall and roll over a crate. She blocks a swing from the one behind her, grabs his arm and shoves his head into the crate. Cut inside the Bronze. Angel peeks out from behind a pillar and looks around.", "Angel: Where is she? The others peek out from behind the pool table and look up at him.", "Willow: Shhh! I think I hear her coming. Cut outside. Buffy punches one of the wooden bed retainers and breaks off a piece. She jams it into one of the vampires' chests, and he bursts into ashes. The other grabs her from behind, lifts her up and carries her onto the loading dock. He throws her at a door. She hits it and rolls away. Cut inside. The gang hears the fighting going on outside and looks toward a window. Cut to the window. Buffy and the vampire come crashing through and hit the floor. Everyone gets up to look. Buffy scrambles to her feet and kicks the vampire as he comes for her. He stumbles back a few steps. The others come closer to see. Buffy grabs a drumstick from a drum set, spins around with it, thrusts it into the vampire's chest and pulls it back out. The vampire explodes into ashes. Oz watches in astonishment. Cordelia jumps up from behind the pool table with her arms raised high.", "Cordelia: Surprise! The others all look back at her.", "Oz: That pretty much sums it up. Xander shakes his head at Cordelia.", "Xander: Tch. Buffy hops down from the stage. Angel goes over to her. Cordelia lowers her arms.", "Angel: Buffy, are you okay?", "Giles: Yes. W-what happened?", "Buffy: (points behind her) Uh, there were these vamps outs... (looks around) W-what's going on?", "Giles: Oh, um... A surprise party. (blows on a party favor)", "Cordelia: Happy Birthday.", "Buffy: (smiles) You guys did all this for me? (to Angel) That is so sweet.", "Angel: You sure you're okay?", "Buffy: Yes, I'm fine.", "Willow: (to Oz) Are you okay?", "Oz: Yeah. Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?", "Willow: Uh, well, uh... sort of.", "Xander: Yep. Vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale.", "(gestures between Willow and Oz) Willow will fill you in. (walks off)", "Willow: I know it's hard to accept at first.", "Oz: Actually, it explains a *lot*.", "Jenny comes into the Bronze carrying Dalton's box.", "Jenny: Hey, can somebody give me a hand here? Angel and Giles take it from her and set it on a table.", "Jenny: Those creeps left this behind.", "Buffy: What is it?", "Giles: I have no idea. Can, can it be opened?", "Buffy: Yeah. This looks like a release right here. She works the latch and opens the box. Inside is an arm clad in armor. Buffy looks over at Giles in disgust. Suddenly the arm raises up, grabs Buffy by the throat and begins choking her.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Buffy struggles with the arm. Angel tries to pull it off of her. Between them they get it off, and Angel stuffs it back into the box while Buffy steps back and tries to catch her breath. Giles slams the lid shut. Buffy coughs as Angel helps her aside.", "Xander: Well, clearly the Hellmouth's answer to 'what do you get the Slayer who has everything?'", "Giles: Good heavens. Buffy, are you all right?", "Buffy: Man, that thing had major grip.", "Willow: W-what was that?", "Oz: It looked like an arm.", "Angel: It can't be. She wouldn't.", "Xander: What, uh, vamp's version of 'snakes in a can', or do you care to share?", "Buffy: Angel?", "Angel: It-it's a legend... (Giles looks at the box) way before my time... of a demon brought forth to rid the Earth of the plague of humanity... separate the righteous from the wicked... and to burn the righteous down. They call him the Judge.", "Giles: The Judge? This is he?", "Angel: Not all of him.", "Buffy: (raising her hand) Um, still needing backstory here.", "Giles: Um... He, he, he couldn't be killed, yes? Um, a-an army was sent against him. Most of them died... but, uh, finally they were able to dismember him, but, uh... not kill him.", "Angel: The pieces were scattered... buried in every corner of the Earth.", "Jenny: So all these parts are being brought here.", "Buffy: By Drusilla. The vamps outside were Spike's men.", "Angel: She's just crazy enough to do it.", "Willow: Do what, reassemble the Judge?", "Angel: And bring forth Armageddon.", "Cordelia: Is anybody else gonna have cake? (goes to the pool table)", "Giles: We need to get this out of town.", "Jenny: Angel.", "Buffy: What?", "Jenny: (to Angel) You have to do it. You're the only one that can protect this thing.", "Buffy: What about me?", "Jenny: What, you're just gonna skip town for a few months?", "Buffy: 'Months'?", "Angel: She's right. I gotta get this to the remotest region possible.", "(goes to Buffy)", "Buffy: But that's not months.", "Angel: (gestures grandly) I gotta catch a cargo ship to Asia, maybe trek to Nepal...", "Buffy: You know, those newfangled flying machines really are much safer than they used to be.", "Angel: I can't fly. There's no sure way to guard against the daylight.", "I-I-I don't like this any more than you do, Buffy. But there's no other choice.", "Buffy: When?", "Angel: Tonight. As soon as possible.", "Buffy: But it's my birthday.", "Jenny: (comes over) I'll drive you to the docks.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is confronting Dalton. He has his eyes lowered.", "Drusilla: You lost it? You... lost my present.", "Dalton: I know. I'm sorry.", "Spike: It was a bad turn, man. She can't have her fun without the box.", "Dalton: The Slayer. She came out of nowhere. I didn't even see her. She... Drusilla cuts him off by putting her finger to his lips. She stares into his eyes. She lifts off his glasses and drops them to the floor. She stomps on them and grinds them into the concrete. She lifts her head with her eyes closed.", "Drusilla: Make a wish.", "Dalton: What? She holds two fingers up to his eyes.", "Drusilla: I'm going to blow out the candles.", "Spike: You might give him a chance to find your lost treasure. He is a w*nk*r, but he's the only one we've got with half a brain. If he fails, you can eat his eyes out of the sockets for all I care.", "Dalton: I'll get it. Please. I swear. Drusilla thrusts both hands at him and pulls them back at the last instant and up into raised fists, and smiles at him evilly. She bends down and picks up his glasses.", "Drusilla: Okay. She unfolds them and sets them back on his nose.", "Drusilla: Hurry back then. (pats his head) She steps over to Spike and sits in his lap. Dalton breathes a sigh of relief and leaves to begin his task.", "Cut to the docks. Buffy and Angel make their way to a ship. Angel has the box on his shoulder. They walk arm in arm. Buffy leans into him, and he kisses her on the head. When they reach the gangplank Angel sets the box down. They take a few steps away from the box.", "Angel: I should go the rest of the way alone.", "Buffy: Okay.", "Angel: But I'll be back. I will.", "Buffy: When? Six months, a year? You don't know how long it's gonna take or if we'll even... (looks down)", "Angel: Hey... (raises her chin) If we'll even what?", "Buffy: (tears in her eyes) Well, if you haven't noticed, someone pretty much always wants us dead.", "Angel: Don't say that. We'll be fine.", "Buffy: We don't know that.", "Angel: We can't know, Buffy. Nobody can. That's just the deal. (reaches into his pocket) I have something for you. For your birthday. I... I was gonna give it to you earlier, but... (shows her a ring with an intricate design)", "Buffy: It's beautiful.", "Angel: My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this. He shows her his own ring on his finger. She touches his hand, leans over and kisses the ring.", "Angel: Put it on. He takes the ring from her and slips it onto her finger.", "Buffy: (sobs) I don't wanna do this.", "Angel: Me either.", "Buffy: So don't go. They kiss. She puts her arms around him. After several kisses they stop and look at each other.", "Angel: Buffy... I... Two vampires suddenly jump at them from some cargo netting. One pulls Buffy off of Angel and throws her back. The other begins to fight with Angel. Buffy rolls to her feet. The vampire swings at her, but misses. She grabs him and starts pummeling his gut. Angel flips the other one over onto his back. He gets up, and Angel swings at him three times, but he blocks all of them. Angel's next punch lands on the vampire's face. Buffy ducks a swing, lifts herself up on the dock railing and kicks her assailant in the chest with both feet, sending him staggering back into the gangplank. She gives chase and grabs him by the back of the shirt and hair. He growls. Dalton drops out of the cargo netting now, too, runs over to the box, grabs it and starts to run.", "Buffy: Angel! The box! Angel ducks a roundhouse kick, grabs the vampire's arm and flips him over onto his back. He runs after Dalton and tackles him to the deck. Buffy's attacker shakes free of her and shoves her into a stack of crates. He follows up with a roundhouse kick, but she ducks it and he just hits the crates. She makes a grab for him, but he punches her in the face. Angel gets ready to punch Dalton but gets distracted when the vampire he was fighting before grabs the box and makes a run for it. Buffy's opponent grabs her by the jacket and roars as he swings her around, over the railing and into the water. Angel sees her go flying.", "Angel: Buffy! He jumps over the railing and into the water after her.", "Cut to the library. Giles is researching the Judge. He looks up from his books.", "Giles: They should be back by now.", "Willow: Maybe Buffy needed a few minutes to pull herself together. Poor Buffy, on her birthday and everything.", "Xander: Hmm, it's sad, granted. But let's look at the upside for a moment. (gets up) I mean, what kind of a future would she've really had with him? (Willow looks sadly up at him) She's got 2 jobs -- Denny's waitress by day, (Giles looks up, too) Slayer by night -- and Angel's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly, and he's dreamin' of the glory days when Buffy still thought this whole creature of the night routine was a big turnon.", "Willow: You've thought way too much about this.", "Xander: No, no. That's just the beginning. Have I told you the part where I fly into town in my private jet and take Buffy out for prime rib?", "Willow: (sees Buffy come in) Xander...", "Xander: And she cries?", "Giles: (stands up) What happened? (Xander sits)", "Buffy: Dru's guys ambushed us. They got the box.", "Giles: Where's Jenny?", "Buffy: Uh, she took Angel to get clothing. I, I had some here.", "Xander: And we needed clothes because...", "Buffy: We got wet. Giles, what do we know?", "Giles: The more I study the Judge, the less I like him. His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process. No human ever has.", "Xander: What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza. (smiles)", "Buffy: Can this guy be stopped? Without an army?", "Giles: Um, (reads) 'no weapon forged can kill him.' Not very encouraging. If we could only stop them from assembling him.", "Buffy: We need to find his weak spots, and we need to figure out where they'd be keeping him.", "Giles: This could take time.", "Willow: Better do a round robin. Xander, you go first.", "Buffy: Good call. Xander heads for the phone.", "Giles: Round robin?", "Willow: It's when everybody calls everybody else's mom and tells them they're staying at everyone's house.", "Buffy: Thus freeing us up for world saveage.", "Willow: (smiles) And all-night keggers! (gets looks from Buffy and Giles) What, only Xander gets to make dumb jokes?", "Xander: (on the phone) Mom, hi. Xander. Yeah, uh, Willow and I are gonna be studying all night long, so I'm not gonna be coming home.", "Cut to later. The research is going hot and heavy. Xander walks over to Willow at the counter with another open book.", "Xander: Tsk. I think I read this already.", "Willow: I can't get over how cool Oz was about all this.", "Xander: Gee, I'm over it.", "Willow: (smugly) You're just jealous 'cause you didn't have a date for the party.", "Xander: No, I sure didn't.", "Giles: (comes out into the main room) Angel? Any luck? Angel comes down out of the stacks. Giles sees Buffy asleep in his office and holds up his hand to silence Angel. He follows Giles' gaze into the office.", "Giles: Sh-sh-sh. They see Buffy with her head down on the desk. He waves Angel to follow him.", "Giles: (whispers) Seems Buffy needed some rest.", "Angel: Yeah. She hasn't been sleeping well. Tossing and turning. (everyone looks at him) She told me. Because of her dreams? They all go back to their tasks. The camera closes in on Buffy and loses its focus.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Buffy walks in, looking at the party decorations. All around candles on tall sticks have burned way down. She goes to the table and walks around it. On the other side she sees Jenny walking the other way. She's confused about that, but gets distracted by several boxes sitting on the floor and goes over to them.", "Drusilla: Now, now. Buffy spins around to see her on the upper level holding Angel in front of her.", "Drusilla: Hands off my presents. She puts a sharp blade to Angel's neck.", "Buffy: No!", "Cut to Giles' office. Buffy wakes from her nightmare with a start.", "Buffy: Angel!", "Angel: Buffy, it's okay. (she turns to him) I'm here. (she hugs him close) I'm right here.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla stands at the top of the spiral staircase and claps her hands.", "Drusilla: More music! She bobs her head to the gothic beat as she descends the steps. The party is going well. She makes her way to the head of the table and begins to dance there. \"Transylvanian Concubine\", performed by Rasputina, plays.", "Lyrics: If you want to know how / To fly high then go now / To the place where all the concubines... / Meet and converse with them / Marvel at their pale skin / Wonder how they chew on their pointy... / Teeth and hair are beauty / They know it's their duty / To be Countess in their hearts and their... Spike comes rolling in with a large box in his lap.", "Spike: Look what I have for you, ducks. Drusilla looks over at him.", "Lyrics: Minds that have to whisper / See in them a sister / Look into their eyes and you'll become / Transylvanian Concubine Drusilla smiles and steps over to him.", "Drusilla: Ahh... The best is saved for last. She takes the box from him and hands it to two vampires.", "Lyrics: You know what flows there like wine / Sorrow is their master / Cackling with laughter / Now he's having just one piece of... The two vampires take it over to where the other boxes have been assembled into the shape of a body. They raise the box and set the head in place.", "Lyrics: Cakey is their make up / Catholics try to shake up... Once in place, a bright light emanates through the cracks in the boxes.", "Drusilla: (smiles) Hmm. The front of the now unified boxes opens like a pair of twin gates to allow the Judge to step out. His skin is blue, and he has small horns on his forehead. He opens his eyes.", "Drusilla: He's perfect, my darling. Spike looks up at her.", "Drusilla: Just what I wanted. She steps back to him and takes his hand. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike's warehouse. Drusilla looks up at the Judge.", "Drusilla: Goll... The Judge steps out of his box. He has difficulty keeping his balance. He points at Drusilla.", "Judge: You!", "Spike: (rolls over to him in Dru's defense) Ho, ho, ho. What's that, mate?", "Judge: You two stink of humanity. You share affection and jealousy.", "Spike: Yeah. What of it? (taps his armor) Do I have to remind you that we're the ones who brought you here?", "Drusilla: (smiles) Would you like a party favor? (indicates her guests) The Judge looks at the party guests. His gaze settles on Dalton.", "Judge: This one is full of feeling. He reads. Bring him to me. Another vampire grabs Dalton and keeps him from running away.", "Spike: What's with the bringing? I thought you could just zap people.", "Judge: My full strength will return in time. Until then... I need contact. The Judge steps over to Dalton.", "Dalton: No. No! NO! The Judge puts his hand on Dalton's chest, and he begins to smoke. Drusilla watches excitedly. The Judge's hand begins to burn into Dalton, who quickly combusts, disappearing in a flash of flame and smoke.", "Drusilla: (gasps) (gleefully) Do it again! Do it again! She smiles down at Spike. The Judge smiles as he feels his power begin to return.", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes striding out of the cage. Angel follows her out. Giles looks down at them from the stacks.", "Giles: Buffy, what's happening?", "Angel: She had another dream.", "Buffy: I think I know where Spike and Drusilla are.", "Giles: (comes down the stairs) That's very good, however, you, you do need a plan. I-I know you're concerned, Buffy, but you can't just go off half-cocked.", "Buffy: I have a plan. Angel and I go to the factory and do recon, figure out how far they've gotten assembling the Judge. You guys check any places the boxes could be coming into town. Shipping yards, airports, anything. We need to stop them from getting all the boxes in one place.", "Giles: Yes. Yes, well, um, actually, that's quite a good plan.", "Buffy: This thing is nasty, and it's real, Giles. We can't wait for it to come get us.", "Giles: Right. Buffy grabs her bag, and she and Angel make tracks for the door.", "Cut to outside Spike's warehouse. The camera pans up to a second floor window. Cut inside. Buffy and Angel sneak quietly along the upper level. They look down at the party going on below. They walk to the railing.", "Buffy: I saw this. (whispers) The party. They see the Judge walk into view flanked by Spike with Drusilla following. The Judge stops and senses something.", "Spike: What? What is it? The Judge looks around, then up at Buffy and Angel and growls.", "Angel: We gotta get outta here. They try to make a run for it, but there are vampires heading them off on both sides. They are captured. Cut below. Buffy and Angel are brought before Spike, Drusilla and the Judge.", "Spike: Well, well. Look what we have here. Crashers.", "Buffy: I'm sure our invitations just got lost in the mail.", "Drusilla: It's delicious. (licks her fingers) (to Angel) I only dreamed you'd come. Rrrr.", "Angel: (struggles) Leave her alone.", "Spike: Yeah, that'll work. Now say 'pretty please'. (smiles)", "Judge: The girl.", "Drusilla: Chilling, isn't it? She's so full of good intention. Angel gets himself between the Judge and Buffy.", "Angel: Take me!", "Buffy: No!", "Angel: Take me instead of her!", "Spike: (raises his hand) Uh, you're not clear on the concept, pal. There is no instead. Just first and second.", "Drusilla: And if you go first, you don't get to watch the Slayer die. Angel's captors pull him back. The Judge reaches for Buffy. Angel looks up and around for a way out of this. Drusilla wraps her arms around Spike and smiles. Angel sees the chains holding up Spike's video monitors. Then he sees Buffy getting ready to defend herself.", "Angel: Don't touch him! Buffy kicks the Judge in the chest and knocks him back. Angel shakes off his captors and lunges for the chains. The Judge comes to a stop beneath the monitors, and Angel releases them. They crash to the floor on top of the Judge, hard enough to knock a hole in the floor. Buffy struggles free also, and runs to Angel. She sees the hole in the floor.", "Buffy: This way! They go to the hole, and Buffy jumps down into the sewers below. Cut to the sewers. Buffy rolls away from the hole, and Angel drops down behind her. They get to their feet and start down the tunnels. Cut inside the warehouse. Drusilla gives the order to pursue.", "Drusilla: Go! Two vampires rush to give chase. Cut to the sewers. Buffy and Angel pull a door closed behind them as their two pursuers drop through the hole and start after them. They look around to see where they went, but don't see anyone. They start down the tunnel, checking the side tunnels as they go, and continue past the door. When they've gone by Buffy opens the door and checks if the coast is clear. Seeing no one she steps over to a ladder and starts up. Cut to the surface. She lifts a manhole cover up, pushes it aside and quickly climbs out into the pouring rain. Angel follows right behind.", "Angel: Come on. We need to get inside.", "Cut to Angel's apartment. He opens the door, and they come in. He turns on the light. Buffy closes the door behind them. He takes off his heavy coat and lays it aside. Buffy is soaked through to her skin without a coat or jacket.", "Angel: You're shaking like a leaf.", "Buffy: Cold.", "Angel: Let me get you something. He gets some things from his armoire and hands them to her.", "Angel: Put these on. Get under the covers, just to warm up. Buffy walks over to his bed and sits down. She looks up at him. He faces away to give her privacy.", "Angel: Sorry. Buffy takes off her top shirt and winces and inhales in pain.", "Angel: What?", "Buffy: Oh, um... It's okay. I just have a cut or something.", "Angel: Can I... Lemme see. Buffy clutches her shirt to her chest.", "Buffy: (whispers) Okay. Angel turns around and sits down on the bed behind her. He gently touches her back and looks at the cut.", "Angel: It's already closed. You're fine. Buffy leans back into him and cuddles her face to his. He puts his arms around her.", "Buffy: You almost went away today.", "Angel: We both did.", "Buffy: (sobs) Angel... (sniffles) I feel like I lost you... (sniffles) You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything.", "Angel: Shhh. I... She turns around to look at him.", "Buffy: You what?", "Angel: I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop.", "Buffy: Me, me, too. I can't either. They start to kiss. After a moment Angel breaks off.", "Angel: Buffy, maybe we shouldn't...", "Buffy: (stops him) Don't. Just kiss me.", "Cut to later. They are both in bed asleep. Outside lightning strikes, and Angel wakes with a start and gasps for air as he sits up.", "Angel: Ahh! He gets up from the bed and hurries off. Cut outside to an alley. Angel has dressed and crashes through the door into the rain. He stumbles over some trashcans and falls to the pavement. He cries out in pain and fear.", "Angel: Buffy!", "Cut to the apartment. Buffy stirs slightly but keeps sleeping.", "Angel: Buffyyyyy! To be continued..." ]

[ "Because he finds even \"one moment of true happiness\" in Buffy's arms, Angel's curse is nullified; he loses his soul and reverts to his former self, the vicious super-evil killer vampire, Angelus who teams up with Spike and Drusilla to have the Judge destroy humanity. Jenny Calendar turns out to be Romani, sent by her family to ensure Angel's soul stays intact. Devastated by these betrayals, Buffy still takes out the reputedly indestructible Judge using her birthday present from Xander-a stolen rocket launcher." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Spike's warehouse. The Judge is kneeling in a corner facing a bunch of storage racks. Spike wheels into view and stops about twenty feet from him. He pushes himself a few feet closer and turns around.", "Spike: I'm not happy, pet. Angel and the Slayer are still alive. They know where we are, they know about the Judge. We should be vacating.", "Drusilla: (walks up to him) Nonsense. (takes his hand) They'll not disturb us here. My Angel's too smart to face the Judge again.", "Spike: (glances over his shoulder) What's Big Blue up to anyway? He just sits there. (looks away)", "Judge: I am preparing.", "Spike: (rolls his eyes) Yeah. (turns and wheels over to him) It's interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on your ass. (facing him) When do we destroy the world already?", "Judge: My strength grows, and with every life I take it will increase further.", "Spike: So let's take some. I'm bored. Drusilla starts moaning.", "Spike: (looks back at her) Dru? Drusilla collapses to the floor and begins to cry.", "Drusilla: Angel...", "Spike: (concerned) Dru? (rolls to her) What is it? (stops by her) Dru! The camera pans around to her face.", "Spike: Darling... Do you see something? Her crying gives way to an evil smile.", "Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy stirs in his bed and reaches over for him. She opens her eyes, suddenly wide awake when she doesn't find him there and looks around. She sits up in bed. Outside it's still raining hard, and lightning strikes. She looks around the room again, but Angel is nowhere to be seen.", "Buffy: Angel? Cut outside to the alley. The rain has let up. Angel falls to the pavement and props himself up on his hands.", "Angel: Buffy... He can't hold himself up and collapses to the ground.", "Angel: (frightened) Oh, no. A hooker standing in a doorway sees him and slowly walks over to him.", "Hooker: Hey. You okay? (bends down to look at him) You want me to call", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Angel: (suddenly stands up) No. The pain is gone.", "Hooker: You sure?", "Angel: Yeah.", "He spins around, game face on, grabs her and violently bites her on the neck to feed. He drops her dead body, tilts his head up and blows out the smoke he's just inhaled through her neck from her lungs.", "Angelus: I feel just fine. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at Buffy's house. She quietly opens the kitchen door, looks around, comes in and carefully closes it behind her. She keeps an eye out for her mother as she goes around to the stairs. Once there she starts up, stomping rather loudly, and her mother hears her.", "Joyce: (off camera) Morning. Buffy stops her ascent and comes back down a few steps. Her mother comes over to the base of the staircase.", "Buffy: Morning.", "Joyce: So, did you have fun last night?", "Buffy: Fun?", "Joyce: At Willow's.", "Buffy: Yeah. (smiles) Yeah, fun at Willow's. You know, she's a fun machine.", "Joyce: You hungry?", "Buffy: No. Uh, no, I-I'm, uh, just gonna go take a shower.", "Joyce: Well, i-if you hurry, I'll run you to school.", "Buffy: Thanks. Joyce folds her arms and looks up at Buffy curiously.", "Joyce: Is something wrong? Buffy's eyes go wide, but she quickly regains her composure.", "Buffy: No. (shakes her head) What would be wrong?", "Joyce: (staring) I don't know. You just look... She shakes her head, smiles and goes into the dining room. Buffy breathes a sigh of relief and heads up the stairs.", "Cut to the library. Xander walks in. Giles looks up at him.", "Xander: Well, the bus depot was a total washout. And may I say what a lovely place to spend the night. What a vibrant cross-section of Americana. Jenny and Willow look at him concerned. Cordelia sitting on the counter also looks worried.", "Giles: No vampires transporting boxes?", "Xander: No, but a four-hundred-pound wino offered to wash my hair. (looks at everyone) What's up? Where's Buffy?", "Willow: She never checked in.", "Giles: If the bus depot is as empty as the... docks and the airport...", "Xander: Do you think this Judge guy's already been assembled?", "Giles: Yes.", "Xander: Then Buffy could be... Okay, we gotta find 'em. (thinks) Um, we gotta go to that place, that, uh, that factory. That's where they're holed up, right? (looks back at Willow and Jenny) Let's go.", "Cordelia: And do what? Besides be afraid and die.", "Xander: Well, nobody's asking you to go, Cordelia. If the vampires need grooming tips we'll give you a call.", "Giles: Cordelia has a point. Now, i-i-if Buffy and Angel were, were... harmed, then we don't stand to fare much better.", "Xander: Yeah? Well, those of us who were born with feelings are gonna do something about this.", "Jenny: Xander.", "Willow: No, Xander's right! My God, you people are all... Well, I'm upset, and I can't think of a mean word right now, but that's what you are, and we're going to the factory! (starts out)", "Xander: Yeah! (follows) Just then Buffy comes into the library.", "Willow: Buffy!", "Xander: We were just going to rescue you.", "Willow: (throws Giles a look) Well, some of us were.", "Giles: Well, I-I would have.", "Jenny: Where's Angel?", "Buffy: He didn't check in with you guys?", "Giles: No.", "Cordelia: (slides off the counter) What happened?", "Giles: The Judge, i-is he...", "Buffy: No assembly required. He's active.", "Giles: (whispers) Oh, damn it. (removes his glasses)", "Buffy: He nearly killed us. Angel got us out.", "Giles: Why didn't you call? We, we, we thought...", "Buffy: Well, we, we had to hide. Uh, we got stuck in the sewer tunnels, and with the hiding, we just split up... Uh, no one's heard from him?", "Willow: I'm sure he'll come by.", "Buffy: Yeah, I'm, I'm sure you're right.", "Giles: Buffy, the Judge, we, we must stop him.", "Buffy: I know.", "Giles: What can you tell us?", "Buffy: Not much. I, um... I kicked him. It was just like a sudden fever. If he'd got his hands on me...", "Giles: In time, he won't need to. The stronger he gets, he'll be able to reduce us to charcoal with a look.", "Buffy: Also, not the prettiest man in town.", "Giles: I better continue researching, must look for a weak spot. The rest of you should get to your classes.", "Jenny: Yeah, I better go, too. They all start out. Buffy is the first one out the door.", "Xander: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (holds the door open)", "Willow: Buffy, wait up!", "Jenny: (stops on the way out) (to Giles) I'll, uh, go on the 'Net and search for anything on the Judge.", "Giles: Thank you.", "Xander: After classes I'll come back and help you research.", "Cordelia: (pats him as she walks out) Yeah, you might find something useful if it's in an 'I Can Read' book. Xander looks like he's ready to kill her.", "Cut to the halls by the stairs. Buffy is about to go up when Willow catches up and stops her.", "Willow: You don't think Angel would have gone after the Judge himself, do you?", "Buffy: No, he'd know better than that. Maybe he just needed... I don't know. I just, I wish he'd contact me. I need to talk to him. They start up the stairs. Jenny looks around the corner and watches them go up.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is laid out on her back on the big table. Spike wheels himself around to her. She looks up at the ceiling blissfully.", "Spike: (smiles) Are we feeling better, then? (leans on the table)", "Drusilla: (sighs) I'm naming all the stars.", "Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.", "Drusilla: I can see them. But I've named them all the same name. (tilts her head to him) And there's terrible confusion.", "Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?", "Angelus: (appears at a side door) Well, (clears his throat) he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.", "Spike: You don't give up, do you?", "Angelus: (slowly comes over) As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... (notices the wheelchair) well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. (stops a few feet away) Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.", "Spike: Uh, yeah. Angel, um... look over *your* shoulder. Angelus turns around, and the Judge puts his hand on his chest.", "Spike: Hurts, doesn't it?", "Angelus: (looks back) Well, you know, it kinda itches a little.", "Spike: (to the Judge) Don't just stand there. Burn him.", "Angelus: Gee, maybe he's broken.", "Spike: (to Drusilla) What the hell is going on? Drusilla's face takes on a look of realization.", "Judge: This one... cannot be burnt. He is clean. (removes his hand)", "Spike: Clean? You mean, he's...", "Judge: There's no humanity in him. (turns and goes)", "Angelus: (faces Spike) I couldn't have said it better myself.", "Drusilla: Angel.", "Angelus: Yeah, baby. I'm back. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike's warehouse.", "Spike: Is it really true?", "Angelus: It's really true. (laughs and walks around the table)", "Drusilla: (follows him with her gaze) You've come home.", "Spike: No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap? (follows him)", "Angelus: What can I say, hmm? (strikes a match on the table) I was going through a phase. (lights a cigarette)", "Spike: This is great! This is so great!", "Drusilla: (walks on the table waving her arms) Everything in my head is singing! (Angelus laughs) We're family again. (Angelus helps her off of the table) We'll feed. Grrr. (turns to Spike) And we'll play. (leans in to him)", "Spike: I've got to tell you, it made me sick to my stomach seeing you being the Slayer's lap dog. Angelus growls and grabs Spike by the shirt. Then he kisses him on the forehead and steps back. Spike busts up laughing. Angelus and Drusilla join in.", "Drusilla: How did this happen?", "Angelus: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.", "Spike: Oh, who cares? What matters is now he's back! Now it's four against one, which are the kind of odds I like to play.", "Drusilla: (leans toward Angelus) Psst. We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?", "Angelus: (plays with his cigarette) Yeah. Destroying the world. Great. I'm really more interested in the Slayer.", "Spike: Well, she's *in* the world, so that should work out.", "Angelus: Give me tonight. Hmm?", "Spike: What do you mean?", "Angelus: Lay low for a night. I guarantee you by the time you go public she won't be anything resembling a threat.", "Spike: You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?", "Angelus: She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.", "Cut to the library. Cordelia walks by the counter looking through a book. Xander is lying on top of the counter, also studying a book. Giles is in his office reading through yet another book. Willow is on the phone with Buffy.", "Willow: Ok. No, no, he didn't, but I'm sure he'll... Well, Buffy, he probably has some plan, and he's trying to protect you. Well, I-I don't know what. I'm not in on the plan. It's his plan. No. Don't even say that! Angel is not dead.", "Xander: Say 'hi' for me.", "Willow: (into the phone) Yeah, of course we'll be here. Okay, bye. (hangs up) (to Xander) Say 'hi' for me?", "Xander: What's the word?", "Willow: She's checked every place she can think of. She even beat up Willy the snitch a couple of times. Angel's vanished.", "Giles: (standing in his doorway) But he does do that on occasion, no?", "Willow: Oh, yeah, but she's extra wigged this time. I guess 'cause of her dreams. God, what if something really happened to him?", "Giles: Is she gonna join us here?", "Willow: Yeah. She's just stopping at home first. Xander slams his book shut and jumps off of the counter.", "Xander: Nada. He heads for the stacks with it. Cut to the stacks. Xander finds Cordelia on his way to return the book to its place on the shelves.", "Xander: Did you find anything? (shelves the book)", "Cordelia: This book mentions the Judge, but nothing useful. Big, scary, no weapon forged can stop him, took an army to take him down. Blah, blah, blah.", "Xander: We need some insight, a weak spot.", "Cordelia: Well, we're not gonna find it here. She shelves the book as Xander comes over to her. She turns to face him.", "Xander: Sorry I snapped at you before.", "Cordelia: Well, I'm reeling from that new experience.", "Xander: I was crazed. I wasn't thinking.", "Cordelia: I know. You were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved Buffy. You'd never die for me.", "Xander: No, I might die *from* you. Does that get me any points?", "Cordelia: No.", "Xander: Come on, can't we just kiss and make up?", "Cordelia: I don't wanna make up. (he starts to go, but she stops him) But I'm okay with the other part. (smiles) Xander smiles back and they start to kiss. After a few moments Cordelia giggles and smiles and they pull apart. Willow is standing behind them, completely confused and upset.", "Xander: Willow, uh... She darts off. Xander runs after her.", "Xander: We were just... Willow! Willow! Cordelia realizes they've been found out and begins to consider the implications.", "Cut to the halls. Willow comes running out of the library. Xander is right behind her.", "Xander: Willow, come on!", "Willow: (stops and confronts him, shaking her finger) I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much. It's not natural!", "Xander: I know it's weird...", "Willow: Weird? It's against all laws of God and Man! It's (disgusted) Cordelia! Remember? The, the 'We Hate Cordelia' club, of which you are the treasurer.", "Xander: Look, I was gonna tell you.", "Willow: Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shame?", "Xander: All right, let's overreact, shall we?", "Willow: But I'm...", "Xander: Willow, we were just kissing. It doesn't mean that much.", "Willow: No. It just means that you'd rather be with someone you hate than be with me. She runs from the hall, leaving Xander just standing there to consider her words. He reluctantly turns to go back into the library.", "Cut to the Summers house. Buffy comes up the walkway to the porch. She looks at her door a moment, then turns and goes away. Cut to Angelus' apartment. Buffy opens the door, comes in and closes it behind her. She walks over to the bed and sees it's been made. One of his shirts is laid out on it. She goes over to the bed and reaches for the shirt. Behind her Angelus steps over to a statue, picks up a necklace hanging from it and puts it on. Buffy turns and sees him.", "Buffy: Angel! (runs to him)", "Angelus: Hey!", "Buffy: Oh!", "Angelus: Hey. She kisses him and they hug.", "Buffy: Oh, my God! I was so worried!", "Angelus: I didn't mean to frighten you.", "Buffy: Where did you go?", "Angelus: Been around.", "Buffy: Ohhh. Oh, my God! (hugs him again) I was freaking out! You just disappeared.", "Angelus: What? I took off. (goes to his bed for the shirt)", "Buffy: (confused) But you didn't say anything. You just left.", "Angelus: (pulls on the shirt) Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.", "Buffy: What?", "Angelus: You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.", "Buffy: What are you saying?", "Angelus: Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? (goes for his coat) In fact, let's not talk about it at all. (pulls it on) It happened.", "Buffy: I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? (meekly) Was I not good?", "Angelus: (laughs) You were great. Really. (snidely) I thought you were a pro.", "Buffy: How can you say this to me?", "Angelus: Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal.", "Buffy: It *is* a big deal!", "Angelus: It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? (laughs) Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before. He reaches his hand up to her face and she jerks back.", "Buffy: Don't touch me.", "Angelus: (shakes his finger at her) I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it. (starts to go)", "Buffy: Angel! (he stops and faces her) (teary-eyed) I love you.", "Angelus: (points coolly at her) Love you, too. (turns away) I'll call you. He goes out the door. Buffy can only watch him go, extremely upset and confused.", "Cut to Enyos' hotel room. He lectures Jenny.", "Enyos: You know what it is, this thing vengeance?", "Jenny: Uncle, I have served you. I have been faithful. I need to know...", "Enyos: (interrupts) To the modern man vengeance is a verb, an idea. Payback. One thing for another. Like commerce. Not with us. Vengeance is a living thing. It passes through generations. It commands. It kills.", "Jenny: You told me to watch Angel. You told me to keep him from the Slayer. I tried. But there are other factors. There are terrible things happening here that we cannot control.", "Enyos: We control nothing. We are not wizards, Janna. We merely play our part.", "Jenny: Angel could be of help to us. I mean, he may be the only chance we have to stop the Judge.", "Enyos: It is too late for that.", "Jenny: Why?", "Enyos: The curse. Angel is meant to suffer, not to live as human. One moment of true happiness, of contentment, one moment where the soul that we restored no longer plagues his thoughts, and that soul is taken from him.", "Jenny: Then, if somehow, if... if it's happened... then Angelus is back.", "Enyos: I hoped to stop it. But I realize now it was arranged to be so.", "Jenny: Buffy loves him.", "Enyos: And now she will have to kill him.", "Jenny: (stands up) Unless he kills her first! Uncle, this is insanity! People are going to die.", "Enyos: Yes. It is not justice we serve. It is vengeance.", "Jenny: (exhales and grabs her coat and bag) You are a fool. We're all fools. Her uncle just watches her go and shakes his head.", "Cut to the lounge at school. Willow comes down the hall. Xander comes out of the bathroom, sees her there and jogs over to her.", "Xander: Will. She hugs her arms around herself and turns to face him.", "Willow: Hey.", "Xander: Where'd you go?", "Willow: Home.", "Xander: I'm glad you came back. We can't do this without you.", "Willow: Let's get this straight. I don't understand it, I don't wanna understand it, you have gross emotional problems, and things are not okay between us. But what's happening right now is more important than that.", "Xander: Okay.", "Willow: (drops her arms) What about the Judge? Where do we stand?", "Xander: On a pile of really boring books that say exactly the same thing.", "Willow: Lemme guess: 'no weapon forged.'", "Xander: 'It took an army.'", "Willow: Yeah, where's an army when you need one? (looks at Xander) What?", "Xander: (looks thoughtful) Whoa. Whoa! I... I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan. The lights suddenly go out.", "Xander: Now I'm having a wiggins.", "Willow: What's going on?", "Xander: Let's get to the library.", "Angelus: (appears behind them) Willow. Xander. They turn to look.", "Xander: Angel.", "Willow: Thank God you're okay. Did you see Buffy?", "Angelus: Yeah. What's up with the lights?", "Xander: I don't know. Listen, I think I have an idea.", "Angelus: Forget about that now. I... I got something to show you.", "Willow: Show us?", "Angelus: Yeah. Xander, go get the others.", "Xander: Okay. (runs off)", "Angelus: And Willow. Come here.", "Willow: (slowly walks toward him) What is it, Angel?", "Angelus: It's amazing.", "Cut to Xander running for the library. Suddenly he stops and turns around, realizing something is wrong.", "Cut to the lounge area. Jenny appears in the hall opposite Angelus holding up a cross.", "Jenny: Willow, get away from him.", "Willow: (stops and looks at her) What?", "Jenny: Walk to me.", "Willow: What are you talking about? It's Ang... Angelus has sneaked up behind her and grabs her by the throat. She lets out a frightened yelp. Xander comes running through the door from the other hall.", "Xander: Don't do that!", "Angelus: Oh, I think I do that.", "Willow: Angel...", "Jenny: He's not Angel anymore. Are you?", "Angelus: Wrong. I *am* Angel. (tightens his grip on Willow) At last!", "Xander: Oh, my God.", "Angelus: I got a message for Buffy.", "Buffy: (appears behind him) Why don't you give it to me yourself? Angelus spins around with Willow to face her.", "Angelus: Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends. He tightens his grip on Willow even more and she lets out another pained yelp.", "Buffy: This can't be you.", "Angelus: Gee, we already covered that subject.", "Buffy: Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are.", "Angelus: Dream on, schoolgirl. Xander takes the cross from Jenny and starts toward Angelus.", "Angelus: Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him.", "Buffy: Leave Willow alone, and deal with me.", "Angelus: But she's so cute (pinches her cheek) and helpless. (Xander gets closer) Really a turn-on. Xander shoves the cross into Angelus' face from behind. He reels back and drops Willow. She cries out as she falls backward into Xander, and they collapse against the wall. Angelus turns to Jenny and wards her off with a hand as he starts to back down the hall. When he reaches Buffy he grabs her by the shoulders. She inhales in fright.", "Angelus: (whispers) Things are about to get *very* interesting. He kisses her, shoves her into the wall and backs out the door. Willow and Xander are up again.", "Xander: Buffy, you okay? Buffy just stares at the door.", "Xander: Buffy.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles paces. Xander stands while Willow and Cordelia sit at the table. Jenny is leaning against the shelves behind them.", "Giles: And we're absolutely certain that, that Angel has reverted to his former self?", "Xander: Yeah, uh, we're all certain. Anyone not feeling certain here?", "Willow: Giles, you wouldn't have believed him. He was so... He came here to kill us.", "Cordelia: What are we gonna do?", "Giles: I'm leaning towards blind panic myself.", "Jenny: Rupert, don't talk like that. The kids.", "Giles: I'm sorry. It's just that things are bad enough with the Judge here. Angel crossing over to the other side... I-I-I wasn't prepared for that.", "Jenny: None of us were. The camera pans over to Buffy sitting at the table opposite Willow. She's looking down sadly. Willow notices and gets up to go to her.", "Willow: Are you okay? Buffy shakes her head 'no'.", "Willow: Is there anything I can do?", "Buffy: (shakes her head) I should've known. When I saw him at the house, he was different. The things he said...", "Giles: What things?", "Buffy: It's private.", "Jenny: But you didn't know he had turned bad?", "Willow: (looks at Jenny) How did you?", "Jenny: (looks at Willow) What?", "Willow: Well, you knew. You told me to get away from him.", "Jenny: Well, I saw his face.", "Giles: If only we knew how it happened. (sits on the table)", "Buffy: What do you mean?", "Giles: Well, something set it off. Some, some, uh, event must've triggered his transformation. Well, if anyone would know, Buffy, it-it should be you.", "Buffy: I don't.", "Giles: Well, did anything happen last night that, that might...", "Buffy: Giles, please, I can't. (runs from the library)", "Giles: Buffy, I'm sorry, but we can't afford to... Buffy!", "Willow: (watching Buffy run) Giles, shut up.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy runs out of the library and down the hall. Cut back into the library.", "Cordelia: This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom.", "Xander: I have a plan.", "Cordelia: Oh, no, here's a lower place.", "Xander: I don't know what's up with Angel, but I think I may have a way to deal with this Judge guy. Sits on the table by Cordelia.", "Willow: What do we do?", "Xander: I think, um... (looks at Cordelia, then back at Willow) I think I may need Cordelia for this one. Willow lowers her eyes for just an instant.", "Xander: And we may need wheels.", "Cordelia: Well, my car is...", "Xander: It might have to be bigger.", "Willow: No problem. I'll get Oz. He has a van.", "Xander: Good. (looks at Cordelia) Okay.", "Cordelia: Care to let me in on the plan I'm a part of?", "Xander: No.", "Cordelia: Why not? (stands up with her hands on her hips)", "Xander: Because if I tell you, then you won't do it. Just meet me at Willow's house in half an hour. And wear something trashy... (looks at her) ...er. (walks off) Cordelia is incensed and follows him.", "Giles: I'm not sure what we should do about Buffy.", "Jenny: Assuming they don't attack tonight I think we should just let her be.", "Willow: I agree.", "Giles: I-I-I can imagine what she's going through.", "Willow: No, I don't think you can.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is holding Miss Edith.", "Angelus: You should've seen her face. It was priceless. (hops up on a conveyor platform and sits) I'll never forget it.", "Spike: So you didn't kill her then.", "Angelus: Of course not.", "Spike: (exhales) Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know.", "Drusilla: You don't want to kill her, do you? (pokes Miss Edith's eyes) You want to hurt her. (smiles up at him) Just like you hurt me.", "Angelus: Nobody knows me like you do, Dru.", "Spike: She'd better not get in our way.", "Angelus: Don't worry about it.", "Spike: I do.", "Angelus: Spike, (slams his hand on a crate) my boy, (pushes it along the rollers) you *really* don't get it! (stands up) Do you? (chuckles) You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. (chuckles) Look at you. You're a wreck! (approaches him) She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. (hops off of the platform) Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. (sits on the platform) To kill this girl... you have to love her.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She comes in and gently closes the door behind her. She sniffs as she unbuttons her coat. She sees her cross and necklace hanging from its hook and takes it in her hand. It sparkles in the light. She lets go of it, letting it swing. She looks down at the ring on her hand that Angel gave her. She pulls it off of her finger and looks at it, bursting into tears. She goes to her bed and lies on it, clutching the ring and crying uncontrollably. The camera pulls back from her as she curls up on her bed. Eventually she falls asleep and dreams. She and Angel are in bed caressing each other. Buffy runs her hand down his back over his tattoo. They both have on their rings. Angel kisses her gently on the neck. Buffy holds him with her ringed hand. She kisses his fingers. They move under the sheets. He kisses her lips tenderly.", "Angel: I love you. She opens her eyes and for an instant sees him in his game face. Cut to a funeral in bright daylight. Angel walks up to the grave. Buffy looks over at him. He looks up at her, his face bathed in sunlight.", "Angel: You have to know what to see. She looks at him, not really understanding, and then back down at the grave. She looks over at the other people attending the funeral and sees Jenny lifting the veil from her face. Buffy wakes with a start, eyes open wide. She suddenly realizes Jenny has something to do with this.", "Cut to the school. Buffy marches straight to Ms. Calendar's classroom. Cut into the classroom. There are students sitting at all the computers, but she doesn't care. Jenny and Giles see her come in and smile in greeting.", "Giles: Oh, Buffy. Buffy goes right past Giles straight to Jenny, puts her hand around her throat and shoves her back onto her desk.", "Giles: Buffy! (tries to pull her off)", "Buffy: What do you know?!", "Student: (gets up) Should I get the principal?", "Giles: (to the class) No, I-I-I'll deal with this. Y-y-you're, you're all dismissed! (they all leave)", "Buffy: (lets go and steps back) Did you do it? Did you change him?", "Giles: For God's sake, calm down!", "Buffy: Did you know this was gonna happen?", "Giles: You can't go around accusing everybody...", "Jenny: (interrupts) I didn't know... exactly. I was told... (whispers) Oh, God. (speaks) I was sent here to watch you. They told me to keep you and Angel apart. They never told me what would happen.", "Giles: (surprised and confused) Jenny!", "Jenny: I'm sorry, Rupert. Angel was supposed to pay for what he did to my people.", "Buffy: And me? What was I supposed to be paying for?", "Jenny: I didn't know what would happen until after. I swear I would've told you.", "Buffy: So it was me. I did it.", "Jenny: I think so. I mean, if you...", "Giles: (demanding) I don't understand.", "Jenny: The curse. If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of... He would lose his soul.", "Giles: W-w-w-h-h-how do you know you were responsible f-for... Buffy gives him a look. He takes off his glasses.", "Giles: Oh. They all look down.", "Jenny: If there is anything that...", "Buffy: Curse him again.", "Jenny: No, I-I can't. I mean, those magicks are long lost even to my people.", "Buffy: You did it once. It might not be too late to save him.", "Jenny: It can't be done. I can't help you.", "Buffy: Then take me to someone who can.", "Cut to Enyos' hotel room. He's smoking on his pipe. He hears the door open.", "Enyos: I knew she would bring you. I suppose you want answers.", "Angelus: Not really. Enyos' face takes on a look of terror. He gets up and faces him.", "Angelus: But thanks for the offer.", "Cut to an Army base outside Sunnydale. The camera pans from a high vantage point over a group of soldiers standing at attention.", "Sergeant: Right face, hu! Double-time, hu! (they march off) Left, left, left, left... The camera comes down behind the barbed wire fence and pans over behind a supply building as Oz's van pulls up.", "Xander: Wait here. When you guys see that window open get out the ladder, come up, we'll pass you the package, okay?", "Oz: Okay.", "Willow: Be careful. Xander opens the side doors and gets out. Cordelia follows him.", "Cut to the fence. Xander cuts a few more links, pushes the fence aside and squeezes through. Cordelia is right behind him.", "Xander: The security here really is a joke. I should, uh, report it.", "Cordelia: Who am I supposed to be again?", "Xander: You're supposed to be a girl. Think you can handle it? Cordelia slaps him on the arm. They sneak along the side of the building and look out from behind some crates. The coast looks clear, so they continue past a truck. A group of soldiers can be heard quickly marching by. Xander peeks out from behind the truck, and the way still looks clear. He steps over to the door and is about to reach for the knob when they are discovered by a soldier on guard duty.", "Soldier: Halt! (Xander shoots up his arms) Identify yourself right the hell now.", "Xander: Uh... Private Harris with the, uh... 33rd.", "Soldier: 33rd are on maneuvers.", "Xander: Right! Uh, I'm on leave. (turns around slowly) From them.", "Soldier: You always spend your leave snooping around the armory, pal? And who is she?", "Cordelia: Hi. I'm not a soldier. (to Xander) Right?", "Xander: (approaches the guard, hands still up) Look, I... I just want to give her the tour. Uh, you know what I'm saying.", "Soldier: The tour.", "Xander: Well, you know the ladies. They like to see the big guns. Gets them all hot and bothered. Can you cut me some slack, gimme a blind eye?", "Soldier: And why should I?", "Xander: Well, if you do, I won't tell Colonel Newsome that your boots ain't regulation, your post wasn't covered, (grabs his M-16 and gives it back to him properly) and you hold your gun like a sissy girl.", "Soldier: (takes the rifle) You got 20 minutes, nimrod.", "Xander: (smiles) I just need 5. (starts for the door, but looks back) Uh, forget I said that last part. The guard checks his watch. Xander opens the door to let Cordelia in, gives the guard a thumb's-up and follows her in. Cut inside.", "Cordelia: Okay, what was that? And who are you?", "Xander: Remember Halloween, I got turned into a soldier?", "Cordelia: Yeah.", "Xander: Well, I still remember all of it. I know procedure, ordnance, access codes, everything. I know the whole layout for this base, and I'm pretty sure I can put together an M-16 in 57 seconds.", "Cordelia: Well, I'm sort of impressed. But let's just find the thing and get out of here.", "Xander: Okay. (starts looking around)", "Cordelia: (hops onto a crate to sit) So, does looking at guns really make girls wanna have s*x? That's scary.", "Xander: Yeah, I guess.", "Cordelia: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have s*x?", "Xander: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have s*x. Cordelia just looks at him. Cut outside to the van.", "Willow: I wish they'd hurry. (cut inside the van)", "Oz: So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?", "Willow: Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun.", "Oz: I get you.", "Willow: (after a pause) Do you wanna make out with me?", "Oz: What?", "Willow: (looks away) Forget it. I'm sorry. (decides she wants to know) Well, do you?", "Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage. He nods his head and smiles to himself. Willow smiles over at him. He looks up at her.", "Oz: Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you.", "Willow: (confused) What? But freeze frame!", "Oz: Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side. (looks off into space) See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing *you*, you're kissing *me*. (looks back at her) It's okay. I can wait. (sees the window open) We're up. He gets out of the van. Willow watches him get out and smiles.", "Cut to the hotel room. Jenny, Buffy and Giles come in.", "Jenny: Oh, my God. She rushes in to her uncle. He's laid out on the bed, dead and covered with blood. Buffy looks up at the wall behind him. A message is written there in blood: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO.", "Giles: He's doing this deliberately, Buffy. He's trying to make it harder for you.", "Buffy: He's only making it easier. I know what I have to do.", "Giles: What?", "Buffy: Kill him. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike's warehouse. Angelus comes down the metal spiral staircase. The Judge slowly comes over to Spike.", "Judge: I am ready.", "Spike: About time. Drusilla sits on his lap and kisses him. The Judge walks off in disgust.", "Spike: Have fun.", "Angelus: (bending to Spike's ear) Too bad you can't come with, huh? I'll be thinkin' of you.", "Spike: I won't be in this chair forever. Angelus takes Drusilla's hand and they start out after the Judge.", "Spike: What happens if your girlfriend shows up?", "Angelus: I'm gonna give her a kiss. (to the Judge) Don't you look spiffy!", "Judge: Spiffy? Drusilla smiles up at him. Spike is left behind all by himself.", "Cut to Giles' office. Xander and Oz lift a long crate onto his desk.", "Xander: Happy Birthday, Buffy. I hope you like the color. (steps back) She looks down at the box. Giles positions a crowbar on the lock.", "Buffy: Giles, we go to the factory first, but they might not be there. They're on the offensive. We need to figure out where they'd go. Giles lifts on the crowbar and breaks the clasp.", "Giles: Agreed. (opens the box)", "Buffy: (looks into the box) This is good.", "Jenny: (in the doorway) Do you, uh... (Giles looks at her) Is there something I can do?", "Buffy: Get out.", "Jenny: I-I just want to help.", "Giles: (looks away) She just said get out. Buffy looks up at Giles. He looks sadly into the crate. Jenny turns around and leaves.", "Xander: (steps up) Do you want me to show you how to use it?", "Buffy: Yes, I do.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. It's deserted. Buffy walks up to the table.", "Buffy: I knew it.", "Giles: (looking up and around) We haven't a bead on where they would go?", "Buffy: (exhales) I don't know, uh... somewhere crowded, I guess. I mean, the Judge needs bodies, right?", "Willow: The Bronze?", "Xander: It's closed tonight.", "Cordelia: There's not a lot of choices in Sunnydale. It's not like people are gonna line up to get massacred.", "Oz: Uh, guys? If I were gonna line up, I know where I'd go.", "Cut to Sunnydale Mall. The camera pans across a line of people at the refreshment stand in the middle of the mall. It pans over the top to show a double door at the end of the mall on a landing midway between floors. The area between the shops is crowded with people. Cut to the stairs. They lead up from both sides to the landing. Customers are going up and down between the floors. The camera follows a woman up one side and over to the doors. She continues out of view up the next flight. The doors open, and the Judge, Angelus and Drusilla walk in flanked by their troops. They close the doors behind them. A man is coming up the stairs. The Judge reaches out with his hand, and an arc of energy emanates from it to the man. The man freezes, a look of surprise on his face, and he quickly begins to combust. He disappears in a puff of flame and smoke.", "Angelus: Lock the exits, boys. The vampires hurry down the stairs to do Angelus' bidding.", "Angelus: (to the Judge) It's all yours. The Judge smiles.", "Cut to an elevator. The doors open and Buffy strides out. Giles and Xander follow carrying the crate on their shoulders. The others bring up the rear.", "Buffy: Everybody keep back. Damage control only. Take out any lesser vamps if you can. I'll handle the Smurf.", "Cut to the Judge. He takes a couple of steps down. A customer squeezes by Angelus and heads down the stairs branching to the left. A young couple comes up on the right. The Judge extends his arms, and his energy arcs out to and through them. Cut to a shot of the stairs from the refreshment stand. The Judge's energy arcs through everyone in the area. They all freeze where they stand. Cut to the Judge. He smiles widely. Angelus and Drusilla enjoy the show.", "Drusilla: (bouncing with glee) Oh, goody! Suddenly a crossbow bolt hits the Judge in the chest and breaks his concentration. The arcs of energy disappear, and the people are all dazed. The Judge grabs at the bolt and pulls it from his chest.", "Judge: Who dares? Angelus and Drusilla look over at the refreshment stand. Cut to the stand. The camera pans up from the floor, past Willow, Oz, Giles and Cordelia, past Xander opening the crate and up to Buffy standing on top, holding the crossbow.", "Buffy: Think I got his attention.", "Judge: You're a fool. (cut to him) No weapon forged can stop me.", "Buffy: (cut to her) (lowers the bow) That was then. Xander hands her the weapon from the box, and she raises the anti-tank rocket launcher to her shoulder.", "Buffy: This is now. She powers it on. Angelus and Drusilla exchange a look. Buffy sets her sights and opens the trigger guard. The rest of the team takes cover behind the snack counter. Angelus and Drusilla begin to run. Buffy takes aim. The Judge just looks at her. Angel and Drusilla leap over the stair railing. Buffy is ready.", "Judge: What's that do? Buffy pulls the trigger and the rocket flies straight into the Judge's chest as Angelus and Drusilla fly over the railing. The Judge disappears in an explosion of flame and smoke. The people in the mall scream and start to panic and run. Angelus and Drusilla hit the floor below. Bits of charred Judge fall all around them. Buffy looks up from the rocket launcher's sights and looks over at them in satisfaction. Angelus gets up and runs off. Drusilla freaks out and runs the other way. The team looks over the counter at what's left of the Judge. The smoke cloud from the explosion billows its way up to the ceiling.", "Buffy: Best present ever. (hands the weapon down to Xander)", "Xander: Knew you'd like it.", "Willow: Do you think he's dead?", "Buffy: We can't be sure. Pick up the pieces and keep them separate. They all start over to collect what's left of the Judge.", "Cordelia: Pieces? We get the pieces. Our job sucks!", "Cut to a side area of the mall. Angelus comes in and looks up at Buffy. Frightened customers are running every which way. Buffy sees him, jumps down from the refreshment stand and starts to give chase. Angelus struggles past some people and runs.", "Cut to the area below the explosion. Parts of the Judge lie everywhere and are still burning. The smoke reaches the sprinklers and they turn on everywhere.", "Cut to the side hall where Buffy last saw Angelus. The sprinklers rain down on her and she's getting soaked. She can't see Angelus anywhere. Suddenly he comes at her and hits her from behind. She falls over backward.", "Angelus: You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered.", "Buffy: (gets up) That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel.", "Angelus: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you made me the man I am today! (smiles evilly) Buffy kicks him in the face. He blocks her next swing and punches her in the face and in the gut. He grabs her and swings her around to throw her, but her footing is good and she regains her balance. He kicks her in the face and this time she falls to the floor.", "Cut to Willow bending down to pick up a piece of the Judge's armor. She's been soaked to the skin by the sprinklers. The camera pans from her over to Oz who has found an actual body part.", "Oz: Uh... (points) Arm.", "Cut to the side area. Angelus grabs Buffy as she tries to get up and heaves her over onto her back again. She rolls around to her feet and comes at him. She swings, but he blocks and hits her instead. He follows up with a backhand punch and she hits the floor again.", "Angelus: Not quittin' on me already, are ya? (she looks up at him) Come on, Buffy. You know you want it, huh? She leaps up and kicks him in the face. He arches backward and then snaps forward. Buffy knees him in the chin and then delivers a series of punches to his gut. She ends with a punch to his face. He isn't fazed, and lunges at her. She grabs his arm and diverts him into a display case. He crashes through the glass, but immediately straightens back up, breaking the top pane and the frame of the case as well. She kicks him in the face and again in the chest, and he staggers backward into a potted tree. She pulls out a stake and stands ready to finish the job. Angelus straightens up and faces her. Buffy doesn't move, but instead lowers the stake and just stares at him.", "Angelus: You can't do it. You can't kill me. Her anger takes over and she kicks him extremely hard in the crotch. Angelus grabs his groin and moans in extreme pain. He collapses to his knees. Buffy turns her back on him and walks away.", "Buffy: Give me time. Angelus is on all fours now and can't move to follow her.", "Cut to the street in front of Buffy's house. Giles pulls up in his ancient car to drop her off. He looks over at her and shuts off the engine. Cut into the car. The only noise is that of the crickets outside. Giles breaks the silence.", "Giles: It's not over. I-I-I suppose you know that. He'll come after you, particularly. His profile, uh, well, he... he's likely to strike out at the things that made him the most human.", "Buffy: You must be so disappointed in me.", "Giles: No. (she looks at him) No, no, I'm not.", "Buffy: But this is all my fault.", "Giles: No. I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. A-and I can. I know that you loved him. And... he... has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months a-are gonna, are gonna be hard... I, I suspect on all of us, but... if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is, is my support. And my respect. Buffy smiles at him through her tears.", "Cut to the living room in Buffy's house. \"Stowaway\", an old black-and- white movie with Alice Faye and Robert Young, is playing on TV. The actors are dancing slowly, and the woman is singing \"Goodnight, My Love\" to the man.", "Lyrics: Goodnight, my love / My moment with you now is ending / It was so heavenly holding you close to me Joyce comes in holding a plate with two cupcakes, one with a candle, and a large coffee mug.", "Joyce: Did I miss anything?", "Buffy: Um... just some singing and some running around. Joyce sets down the plate and mug and looks around for the matches.", "Joyce: Mm. I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you a real cake. (finds the matches)", "Buffy: No. This is good. Joyce sits back on the couch with her feet up.", "Joyce: But we're still going shopping on Saturday. (Buffy looks at her) So what'd you do for your birthday? Did you have fun?", "Buffy: (looks down, then back up) I got older.", "Joyce: (looks into her face) You look the same to me. She leans back to the table and strikes a match to light the candle. The wick starts to burn and she blows out the match. She sets the matchbook and spent match on the table and leans back on the couch again facing her daughter.", "Joyce: Happy Birthday. (smiles) I don't have to sing, do I?", "Buffy: (looks down at her hands) No.", "Joyce: (indicates the burning candle) Well, go on, make a wish. Buffy stares at it for a long moment.", "Buffy: I'll just let it burn. Joyce reaches up and strokes her daughter's hair. Buffy leans over and rests her head on her mother. Joyce continues gently stroking Buffy's hair. The song in the movie comes to an end.", "Lyrics: Sleep tight, my love / Goodnight, my love / Remember that you're mine, sweetheart" ]

[ "There's a werewolf at large in Sunnydale and the Scoobies discover that it's Oz . Buffy tries to protect Sunnydale residents from the beast's savagery, and protect the savage beast from a bounty hunter who doesn't care that his target is human 28 days out of 31. Meanwhile, Angelus stirs up more trouble for Buffy. Willow convinces Oz she still wants to see him, despite everything." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High. Cut to the hall by the trophy case. Oz is hunched over inspecting Catherine Madison's cheerleading trophy. He stares at its eyes as he moves his head from one side to the other. Willow enters the hall from outside and comes up to him.", "Willow: (smiles) Hi.", "Oz: (straightens up) Oh, that's what I was gonna say.", "Willow: What cha looking at? (looks into the case)", "Oz: (points) This cheerleading trophy. (moves and watches) It's like its eyes follow you wherever you go. I like it. He stands back up straight again and gives his attention back to Willow. They start down the hall together.", "Willow: So did you like the movie last night?", "Oz: I don't know. T-today's movies are kind of like popcorn. You know, you forget about them as soon as they're done. I do remember I liked the popcorn, though. (stops walking)", "Willow: (smiles) Yeah, it was good. And I had a really fun time with the rest. (gets a confused look from Oz) I mean, the part with you.", "Oz: Oh, that's great. Uh, my time was also of the good.", "Willow: Mine, too. (awkwardness sets in) Well, then... Oz raises his eyebrows expectantly. Willow looks past him and sees Buffy down the hall.", "Willow: Oh, there. (points) I have my friend. So I will go to her.", "(goes)", "Oz: I'll see you then. Uh, later. (smiles)", "Larry and some other jocks come walking the other direction and stare at Willow and Buffy walking away. Larry bites his fist and comes over to Oz.", "Larry: Man! Oz, I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean. (laughs)", "Oz: (nods) That's great, Larry. You've really mastered the single entendre. Larry notices a pretty girl coming down the hall and ignores the insult to stare at her. As she goes by he taps her books, and they fall out of her hands.", "Girl: Hey!", "Larry: Oops! She bends down to pick up her books, and Larry and the other jocks stare at her legs.", "Larry: Ohhh! Oh, thank you, Thighmaster! (laughs) The girl gives them a dirty look and leaves.", "Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent schoolgirl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?", "Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.", "Larry: I mean, she's gotta be putting out, or what's the point? What are you gonna do, talk? (laughs) Come on, fess up. How far have you gotten? Cut outside to Buffy and Willow walking along the colonnade.", "Willow: Nowhere. I mean, he said he was gonna wait until I was ready, but I'm ready. Honest. I'm good to go here.", "Buffy: Well, I think it's nice that he's not just being an animal.", "Willow: It is nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smoochies!", "Buffy: Have you dropped any hints?", "Willow: I've dropped anvils.", "Buffy: Ah, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?", "Willow: At last count, all of them. Maybe more.", "Buffy: Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow.", "Willow: But I want Oz to get an 'A', and, oh, one of those gold stars. They sit on a bench.", "Buffy: He will.", "Willow: Well, he better hurry. I don't want to be the only girl in school without a real boyfriend. Buffy looks down sadly. Willow realizes her insensitivity.", "Willow: Oh, I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't even be talking about... Do you want me to go away?", "Buffy: I wish you wouldn't.", "Willow: How are you holding up anyway?", "Buffy: I'm holding. I was going on two minutes there without thinking about Angel.", "Willow: (trying to be cheerful) Well, there you go.", "Buffy: But I would do a lot better if you and Xander and I could do that 'sharing our misery' thing tonight.", "Willow: Great. I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1- 800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho. (rolls her eyes)", "Buffy: (surprised) Meow!", "Willow: (smiles) Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a 'meow' before.", "Buffy: Well-deserved.", "Willow: Darn tootin'. I'm just saying Xander and Cordelia? I mean, what does he see in her anyway? Cut inside Cordelia's car in a secluded area of the park that night. She and Xander are making out. Suddenly Xander breaks off.", "Xander: But what could she possibly see in him?", "Cordelia: Excuse me? We didn't come here to talk about Willow. We came here to do things I can never tell my father about because he still thinks I'm a... good girl.", "Xander: I just don't trust Oz with her. I mean, he's a senior, he's attractive -- okay, maybe not to me, but -- and he's in a band. And we know what kind of element that attracts.", "Cordelia: I've dated lots of guys in bands.", "Xander: (nods) Thank you.", "Cordelia: Do you even wanna be here?", "Xander: I'm not running away.", "Cordelia: Because when you're not babbling about poor, defenseless Willow, you are *raving* about the all-powerful Buffy.", "Xander: I do not babble. I occasionally run-on, every now and then I yammer...", "Cordelia: Xander?", "Xander: Yeah?", "Cordelia: Look around. We're in my daddy's car, it's just the two of us, there is a beautiful, big full moon outside tonight. It doesn't get more romantic than this. (insistent) So shut up! They start making out again. Cut outside. The camera pulls away from the car into the bushes until a large, hairy beast watching them comes into view. It growls menacingly. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside Cordelia's father's car at the park. She and Xander are sucking face. Xander hears some rustling outside and breaks off.", "Xander: Did you hear that?", "Cordelia: What is it now?", "Xander: I thought I heard something.", "Cordelia: I-is Willow sending out some sorta distress signal that only *you* can hear?", "Xander: Huh. He smiles at her sheepishly, and they go back to it. An instant later Xander hears more rustling, louder this time, and pulls back again.", "Xander: Okay, now I *know* I heard something.", "Cordelia: Alright, that's it. You know, your mind hasn't been here all night. How about I just drop you off... A hairy arm with a clawed hand punches through the convertible top. Cordelia screams and makes a grab for the keys.", "Xander: Get us outta here! The creature on the roof of the car snarls as it reaches around for them inside. The keys aren't in the ignition, and Cordelia frantically searches for them on the floor.", "Cordelia: (screams) Where are the keys?", "Xander: We should be moving! Let's go!", "Cordelia: (finds the keys) Oh, I got 'em! Got 'em! She fumbles with the keys, but manages to get them into the ignition and starts the car. She puts it into reverse and screams as she guns the car backward a ways and then slams on the brakes. The beast tumbles off of the back and into a tree. Cordelia gets the car in drive and speeds away. The camera shows the car from above with a gaping hole in the ragtop as it maneuvers back to the road and races off.", "Xander: Told ya I heard something.", "Cut to the school parking lot the next day. Buffy inspects the hole in the roof.", "Buffy: And you're sure it was a werewolf? (gets off of the car)", "Xander: Well, let's see, um, six feet tall, claws, a big old snout in the middle of his face like a wolf. Um, yeah, I'm sticking with my first guess.", "Oz: Seems wise.", "Xander: Oh, oh, and then there was that little thing where it tried to bite us.", "Cordelia: It was so awful. (puts her head on Xander's shoulder)", "Xander: (puts his arm around her) I know.", "Cordelia: (tears herself away) Daddy just had this car detailed. Giles comes up behind Buffy with a newspaper.", "Buffy: So what's the word?", "Giles: Well, it seems there were a, a number of other attacks by a wild dog around town. (hands the paper to Buffy) Several animal carcasses were found mutilated.", "Willow: You mean, like bunnies and stuff? (upset) No, don't tell me.", "(looks at Oz)", "Oz: (reassuringly) Oh, don't worry. I mean, they might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves.", "Willow: (calmer and smiling) Yeah.", "Oz: Yeah.", "Giles: (takes the paper back) Yes, uh, um, fortunately, no people were injured.", "Buffy: That falls into the 'that's a switch' column.", "Giles: Well, for now. But my guess is that this werewolf will be back at next month's full moon.", "Willow: What about tonight's full moon?", "Giles: (confused) Pardon?", "Willow: Well, last night was the night before the full moon, traditionally known as... 'the night before the full moon.'", "Giles: Meaning the accepted legend that werewolves only prowl during a full moon might be erroneous.", "Cordelia: Or it could be a crock.", "Xander: Unless the werewolf was using last year's almanac.", "Buffy: Looks like Giles has some schooling to do.", "Giles: Yes, I must admit I, I am intrigued. Werewolves, it's... it's one of the classics. (start away) I, I'm sure my books and I are in for a fascinating afternoon. (leaves)", "Buffy and Cordelia watch him go. Xander smirks at Giles' typical behavior.", "Buffy: He needs to get a pet.", "Cut to the gym. The class is seated on the bleachers listening to the female self-defense coach.", "Coach: Sunnydale is becoming more dangerous all the time. And a full moon like tonight tends to bring out the crazies, but with some simple basics of self-defense each of you can learn how to protect yourself.", "Buffy: (quietly to Willow) Here's a suggestion: move away from the Hellmouth.", "Coach: What you wanna do is gain advantage of the situation as quickly as possible. Willow smiles at Buffy's suggestion. Behind her Oz reaches up and turns the tag sticking out of her sweatshirt back inside. She looks back at him curiously.", "Oz: Tag. (pats her on the back) Willow smiles at Buffy. Cut to Xander and Cordelia.", "Coach: Your attacker may have the benefit of surprise.", "Xander: Would you look at that? He's all over her. Cordelia looks over at Buffy, Oz and Willow.", "Coach: But if you plot ahead,...", "Xander: Psst! Hey, buddy, this is a public forum here. Cordelia looks back at him, as do Buffy, Oz and Willow.", "Coach: ...then you can turn that advantage to yourself.", "Cordelia: I think you splashed on just a little too much 'Obsession For Dorks'.", "Coach: By being prepared, you have the power. Okay, everyone get into your assigned groups. The students all get up from the bleachers and go down to the floor. Larry takes off his sweat jacket and goes to the table in front of them to check which group he's in. Xander sees his arm all wrapped up in a bandage just above the elbow.", "Xander: What happened?", "Larry: Oh, last week some huge dog jumped out of the bushes and bit me. Thirty-nine stitches. They oughta shoot those strays.", "Oz: (next to Larry) I've been there, man. (holds up his finger) My cousin Jordy just got his grownup teeth in? Does not like to be tickled. Xander laughs. Larry just shakes his head and then goes over to Theresa, who is doing stretching exercises.", "Larry: (into her ear) Theresa! (she straightens up) Be still my shorts. We're in the same group. (chuckles and nods) I may have to attack you.", "Theresa: No, a-a-actually, I think, uh, in our group there are a few of us.", "Buffy: (joins Theresa) And I'm one of the few. Willow comes up behind her quickly, takes her arm and pulls her aside. Buffy keeps her eye on Larry another moment, then looks at Willow as she explains.", "Willow: Don't forget, you're supposed to be a meek little girlie-girl like the rest of us. (walks off)", "Buffy: (looks at Larry) Spoil my fun.", "Cut to a few minutes later. Everyone is lined up and paired off, girls in front, boys in back.", "Coach: Okay, everyone, listen up. I wanna show you what to do should you be attacked from behind. (looks at Buffy) In this situation, bend forward, using your back and shoulders (bends her over to demonstrate) to flip the assailant over to the ground. The other girls all bend over, too. The boys follow Larry's lead and put their arms around the girls' necks. Buffy grabs Larry's arm and pretends at a few attempts to flip him over. Willow gives her a smile and nod.", "Buffy: Uhh! Uhh!", "Larry: Oh, Summers, you are turning me on. He grabs her butt cheek hard with his other hand. Buffy isn't about to take that, and immediately flips him over hard onto the mats in front of them. Larry groans as he lies there. Willow shoots Buffy a look as she and Oz stand back up. The coach looks over at her also.", "Oz: (points) That works, too.", "Cut to the library. Giles is demonstrating the phases of the moon using a large earth globe with a smaller moon globe attached by a bar.", "Giles: And, uh, while there's absolutely no scientific explanation for lunar effect on the human psyche, uh, the phases of the moon, uh, do seem to exert a great deal of psychological influence. And th-the full moon is, is, seems to bring out our darkest qualities.", "Xander: And yet, ironically, uh, led to the invention of the moon pie.", "Giles: (gets the joke) Oh... (chuckles) Yes, the moon pie. (laughs harder) (gets looks from Buffy and Willow) Y-you see, uh, the-the werewolf, uh, is such a, a potent e-e-extreme representation of our inborn animalistic traits that it e-emerges for three full consecutive nights: the full moon and, uh, the two nights surrounding it.", "Xander: Quite the party animal.", "Giles: Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive.", "Buffy: In other words, your typical male.", "Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey.", "Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.", "Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.", "Giles: The point is that our wolfman could also be a-a-a wolfwoman, or- or anyone who was bitten by a werewolf.", "Xander: So then I'm guessing your standard silver bullets are in order here?", "Giles: No. No bullets. No matter who this werewolf is, i-it's still a human being, who may be completely unaware of his or her condition.", "Buffy: So tonight we bring 'em back alive.", "Cut to that night in a secluded area of the park. The moon is full, and several cars are parked there with couples making out. Giles walks by some cars holding his flashlight out in front of him. Buffy meets up with him.", "Giles: (quietly) Anything yet?", "Buffy: (quietly) Yes. And you won't believe what I saw. Brittany Podell was making out with Owen Stadeel, but he goes with Barrett Williams. (gets a look from Giles) If she ever found... No, um, no, no sign of the werewolf. How about you?", "Giles: Uh, the same. (looks around) I thought we might, uh... I thought we might knock on a few windows, uh, ask if anyone has seen anything yet.", "Buffy: (gives him a look) Giles, no one's seen anything.", "Giles: Oh, yes. No, of-of-of course not, no. Yes. He goes off to continue looking. She stares after him a moment, and then heads off into the bushes herself. Cut into the bushes. Buffy scans around with her flashlight as she walks into a small clearing. Suddenly she hears a noise like a latch releasing and yelps as she finds herself being pulled up in a net trap. Below her a hunter points his scoped, double-barreled flintlock up at her and pulls back the hammer.", "Cain: Gotcha! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The park at night. Cain takes a closer look at what he's caught.", "Cain: What the hell?", "Buffy: (yells) Giles! Giles!", "Giles: (comes running) Hey! (sees Cain with his gun) Whoa! (holds his arms up)", "Cain: Hands are good right about there.", "Giles: Who, who are you? What are you doing?", "Cain: The name's Cain. I'm the one with the gun, which means I'm the one who gets to do the interviewing.", "Buffy: Ahem. Hey, before we get all chummy here, how about we do something about me being in this net thing? Cain exhales, lowers the flintlock and leans it against a boulder. He pulls out his buck-knife and cuts the rope holding up the net. It falls, and Buffy hits the ground fairly hard. Giles reaches down to untangle the net.", "Giles: You alright?", "Buffy: Yeah. (gets up)", "Cain: (sees Buffy clearly now) Gotta say, I'm impressed.", "Giles: Excuse me? Buffy looks up at Giles, then back at Cain.", "Cain: Well, it's good to get the fruit while it's fresh.", "Giles: You'd be wise to take that back.", "Cain: Hey, what a man and a girl do in lovers' lane at night is nobody's busi... Giles makes a move toward Cain, but Buffy holds him back.", "Buffy: Oh, okay, hey, enough, repulsive brain. It's not what you think. (looks at Giles) We're hunting werewolves. Cain laughs.", "Buffy: Okay, it's funny if you don't believe in werewolves.", "Cain: No, it's funny thinking about you two catching one. I mean, this guy looks like he's auditioning to be a librarian, and, you, well, you're a girl.", "Giles: I assure you she's quite capable.", "Cain: Uh-huh. Lemme ask you something, sweetheart. Exactly how many of these animals have you taken out?", "Buffy: As of today?", "Cain: I tore a tooth from the mouth of every werewolf that I killed. (holds out his necklace) This next one will bring the total to an even dozen.", "Buffy: So you're just gonna kill it?", "Cain: Well, see, that's the thing. Their pelts fetch a pretty penny in Sri Lanka, and it's a little hard to skin 'em when they're alive.", "Giles: Y-you hunt werewolves f-for sport?", "Cain: No, no, I'm in it purely for the money.", "Buffy: And it doesn't bother you that a werewolf is a person twenty- eight days out of the month?", "Cain: That's why I only hunt 'em the other three. I'd really love to stay and chat, (crouches down to collect the net) but I'm on a tight schedule. Any idea where else the boys and girls like to get together around here?", "Buffy: You're looking for a party?", "Cain: No, but the werewolf is. They're suckers for that whole sexual heat thing. Sense it miles away. Since this little doggie ain't here, I guess he found another place. (stands up)", "Buffy: Sorry. Wish I could help you.", "Cain: But you don't know squat? (shakes his head) Gee, what a surprise.", "(leaves)", "Buffy turns and heads back to the car.", "Giles: Where are we going?", "Buffy: I think I know where to look. We just have to make it there before mein furrier.", "Cut to a street. Theresa is walking home. She passes a house with a fenced in front yard overgrown with weeds. She hears some rustling and stops to look around. Seeing nothing, she continues. Cut to a view of her from the other side of the fence. The camera follows behind her. She hears more rustling and stops to look again. Something lets out a low growl, and Theresa decides it's time to run. She looks back again and doesn't see Angelus in front of her. She slams into him and screams.", "Angelus: Everything okay? (twirls a daisy)", "Theresa: Yeah, I just, uh, I, I thought I heard something... behind me. He walks around her to have a look, then turns back to her.", "Angelus: No one there.", "Theresa: Oh. I guess I was wrong. I could have sworn that...", "Angelus: It's okay. It can get pretty scary out here, all alone at night.", "Theresa: Yeah.", "Angelus: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Don't you go to school with Buffy?", "Theresa: Oh, you know Buffy? (smiles)", "Angelus: (chuckles) Yes, I do, very well.", "Theresa: (keeps smiling) Oh.", "Angelus: Come on, I'll get you home. They walk off together, taking another quick look behind them.", "Cut to the Bronze. Lotion is the band tonight. They're playing \"Blind For Now\" as the camera pans from the mirrors on the far wall of the Bronze and over to the band playing on the stage.", "Lyrics: And then sweep this town into a Monster Truck of shame / Carved out of soap and steel and clay and salty fame / You are the first to look away and against me / You shake the squirrel out your tree", "Cut to Cordelia and Willow sitting on opposite sides of a couch by a low table.", "Cordelia: I mean, with Xander it's always, 'Buffy did this', 'Willow said that'. Buffy, Buffy. Willow, Willow. It's like I don't even exist.", "(leans back and folds her arm)", "Willow: I sometimes feel like that. (looks over at Cordelia)", "Cordelia: And then when I call him on it, he acts all confused, like", "I'm the one with the problem.", "Willow: (nods) His 'do I smell something?' look.", "Cordelia: All a part of his little guy games. It's like he's there, but then he's not there, and he wants it, but then he doesn't want it.", "Willow: He's so busy looking around at everything he doesn't have, he doesn't even realize what he *does* have.", "Cordelia: Well, he should at least realize that you have Oz.", "Willow: (frowns and raises an eyebrow) Mm, I'm not sure I do. (confused) Oz and I are in some sort of holding pattern, except without the holding or... anything else.", "Cordelia: What's he waiting for? What's his problem? (rolls her eyes) Oh, that's right, he's a guy.", "Willow: (disgusted) Yeah, him and Xander. Guys.", "Cordelia: Who do they think they are?", "Willow: A couple of guys. Suddenly the werewolf drops down from above onto the table in front of them. They both scream and run from the couch in opposite directions. Panic sets in around them, and the werewolf just stands there at a half crouch, confused by all the noise. Cut outside to the alley. Giles and Buffy come rolling up in his decrepit car as patrons flee for their lives.", "Giles: Looks as though your hunch was right.", "Buffy: Who could resist Sunnydale's own house of hormones? She opens the door and gets out. Willow sees her and stops.", "Willow: The werewolf, it's in there. Buffy makes a dash for the door as it's about to be shut by the bouncer.", "Buffy: Coming through! She rushes through the door. Cut inside. The door is closed on her and she looks back at it as it slams shut with a thud. She slowly steps into the main area and looks around. The place has been trashed by the panicked people. Tables and chairs are lying everywhere, spilled drinks are splattered on the floor. Buffy sees a shadow behind a bead curtain and makes for it. As she walks she takes off her backpack and pulls out a chain. Cut to the restroom and backstage area. Buffy sees the bead curtain that leads to the stage office swinging. She climbs the few steps and goes in. She goes through another door to the stage. The chain is wrapped around her forearm, ready to use against the werewolf. Slowly she steps out onto the stage. When she's passed the drums the werewolf comes out from behind the stage curtains, snarling. Buffy spins around to face it and drops her backpack. She quickly unravels a length of chain from her arms and gets ready. She throws the chain out, and it wraps itself perfectly around the werewolf's neck. It begins to struggle and yanks at the chain, pulling Buffy into and over the drums. The chain falls from the werewolf's neck, and it makes a dash for a window. Cut outside the window. The werewolf comes crashing through and out into the alley. It takes a quick look both ways and runs away.", "Cut to later. The Bronze employees are back and begin to straighten things up. Buffy puts her chain back into her backpack as Cain watches.", "Cain: You let it get away.", "Buffy: I didn't let it do anything. I had the chain around its neck.", "Cain: Chain? What were you gonna do, take it for a walk?", "Buffy: I was going to lock it up.", "Cain: That's beautiful. (approaches her) This is what happens when a woman tries to do a man's job. Buffy gets up and puts on the backpack as Giles comes up behind Cain.", "Giles: Now, you look here, Mr. Cain. This girl risked her life trying to capture a beast that you haven't as yet been able to find. (takes his bag off of his shoulder)", "Cain: Uh-huh. And Daddy's doing a great job carrying her bag of milk bones. Giles throws down his bag, but restrains himself. Cain steps closer to Buffy.", "Cain: You know, sis, if that thing out there harms anyone, it's going to be on your pretty little head. I hope you can live with that.", "Buffy: (stares him down) I live with that every day.", "Cain: (shakes his head) First they tell me I can't hunt an elephant for its ivory... (turns and leaves) Now I've gotta deal with People for the Ethical Treatment of Werewolves.", "Giles: (under his breath) Pillock! Right, let's move out. He grabs his bag and goes. Buffy follows right behind.", "Cut to a loading dock area. The werewolf walks into the light next to a trailer and stops to sniff the air. It looks down and sees a large splotch of blood in the gutter. It continues along the side of the trailer. When it reaches the far end Theresa falls to the ground from behind the trailer with a vampire bite clearly visible on her neck. The werewolf looks down at her, but doesn't make a move to eat her. On the other side of her Angelus steps up in his game face and growls at the werewolf. The werewolf bares its fangs at Angelus and growls more loudly. Angelus returns the growl, baring his own fangs and staring the werewolf down, warning him away from Theresa's body. Angelus slowly backs away and leaves. The werewolf looks down at Theresa again and growls, but makes no move to touch her.", "Cut to the park. Buffy comes walking up behind Giles' car.", "Buffy: Giles? When she doesn't see anyone in it she runs up to it.", "Buffy: Giles! She reaches the open window and looks in. Giles wakes and sits up.", "Giles: Uhh! (takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes)", "Buffy: I didn't see you there. I thought something had happened.", "Giles: Oh, no, I'm, uh... Buffy opens the passenger door and gets into the car. A newscast is playing on the radio.", "Giles: (yawns) I'm okay. I'm just, um, fine... uh, just, uh, I'm, uh... Uh, any sign of the, uh, werewolf? (puts his glasses back on)", "Buffy: No. I'm guessing you didn't see anything either from that vantage point of having your eyes closed.", "Giles: It's, uh, it's, it's, uh, gonna be light soon, so we'd better...", "Buffy: Wait.", "Radio newscaster: Police say that the incident was apparently connected to the animal mutilation which occurred two nights ago. The coroner's office has identified the body as that of Sunnydale High School student Theresa Klusmeyer, age seventeen. The authorities ask that anyone with further information...", "Giles: Buffy, we're gonna get this thing. We have another whole night. (Buffy looks at him) There's nothing more we can do now. It's nearly sunrise. That werewolf won't be a werewolf much longer. Buffy looks down sadly.", "Cut to a view of Sunnydale from atop a hill. The sun is coming up in the distance. Cut to the werewolf asleep on the ground in the woods. The camera pans from its hind paws over to its head. When sunlight hits the werewolf it morphs back into its human form. Oz wakes up, opens his eyes and looks around confused. He sits up and stares around at the forest. He looks down at himself and realizes he's naked.", "Oz: (confused) Huh.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The dining room at Oz's house. He's on the phone with his aunt.", "Oz: Aunt Maureen. Hey, it's me. Um, what? Oh! It's, uh... actually it's healing okay. That's pretty much the reason I called. Um, I wanted to ask you something. Is Jordy a werewolf? Uh-huh. And how long has that been going on? Uh-huh. What? No, no reason. Um... Thanks. Yeah, love to Uncle Ken. He lowers the phone and turns it off. He stares off into space as the new knowledge that he is the werewolf sinks in.", "Cut to the halls at Sunnydale High. Oz walks slowly among the other students as he makes his way to the library. He looks down and around at everyone, still trying to deal with this new revelation about himself. When he reaches the library he stares at the door for a long moment. Cut inside the library. Buffy paces. Willow is sitting at the table with Giles behind her, and Xander is leaning against the counter.", "Buffy: I can't believe I let that thing get away. Cain was right. I shoulda killed it when I had the chance. Oz comes in, and has overheard that last comment.", "Oz: Killed what?", "Buffy: Uh, the, uh, (ahem) the werewolf. It-it-it was out last night.", "Oz: Is everybody okay? Did anyone get bitten or, or scratched?", "Willow: No, we're fine.", "Oz: Gladness.", "Buffy: Yeah, but he got someone. Theresa.", "Oz: 'Got', as in... Buffy just looks at him and briefly raises her eyebrows.", "Oz: Oh, I'm sorry.", "Buffy: And I coulda stopped it. (sits)", "Giles: Well, we, we have one more night.", "Oz: Another night?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. Believe me, I'm gonna give that wolfie something to howl about.", "Oz: Hmm.", "Xander: (comes over) But while we hang here doing nothing, there's a human werewolf walking around out there, probably making fun of us.", "Willow: (with a hint of sarcasm) The way werewolves always do.", "Oz: But there's really no way to tell who it is.", "Xander: Oh, sure there is. Giles knows stuff, and I'm practically an expert on the subject.", "Willow: On account of once you were a hyena?", "Xander: I know what it's like to crave the taste of freshly killed meat, to be taken over by those uncontrollable urges.", "Buffy: You said you didn't remember anything about that.", "Xander: (chuckles) I said I didn't remember anything about that. Look, the point is, is I have an affinity with this thing. I can get inside of its head. (closes his eyes and begins to *be* the werewolf) I'm a big, bad wolf. I'm on the prowl. (sniffs) I'm sniffing, I'm snarling, I'm a slobbering predator, I'm... (opens his eyes) Wait a second! It's right in front of us. (Oz's eye go wide with the fear of being recognized) It's obvious who I am. I'm Larry! (Oz breathes a sigh of relief) The guy's practically got wolf-boy stamped on his forehead. You got the dog bite, you got the aggression, not to mention the excessive back hair.", "Buffy: And he was awfully gleeful about tormenting Theresa.", "Giles: Still, that doesn't necessarily mean that...", "Xander: I'm gonna go talk to him. Gonna force a confession out of him.", "(leaves)", "Giles: Good. Go. Uh, in the meantime, we need to cover our bases.", "Willow, um, check the student files. See if anybody else fits the profile. Uh, Buffy?", "Buffy: Where are we going?", "Giles: I-if none of that works, I think I may have an alternative.", "(goes into his office)", "Buffy: Yeah, me and the werewolf alone in a cage for three minutes.", "That's all I ask. (gets up and follows Giles)", "Willow: (to Oz) Are you okay?", "Oz: (comes back to earth) What?", "Willow: You kind of knew Theresa.", "Oz: Oh, yeah, I, uh, I'm trying not to think about it. It's... it's a lot.", "Willow: It is. But we can do stuff to help. Sometimes it feels good to help.", "Oz: Uh-huh. Buffy comes back to the office door, but holds back, not wanting to interrupt Willow with Oz.", "Willow: Well, like... looking up stuff. I'm gonna be doing that most of the night. You could help me, help together?", "Oz: (unsure what to do) I can't. Um, uh, I'm busy.", "Willow: Oh. So...", "Oz: I... I gotta go. He jogs out of the library. Willow watches him go, confused about his behavior. Buffy looks sadly at her friend from the office doorway.", "Cut to the boys' locker room. The camera pans over to the sinks where Larry is splashing some water onto his face. He grabs a towel and dries off as he heads for his gym locker. Xander is there waiting for him and kicks his locker closed to get his attention. Larry takes the towel from his face and looks at Xander, startled.", "Larry: Harris. Sheesh. Next time wear a bell. (opens his locker)", "Xander: Why so jumpy, Larry?", "Larry: Geeks make me nervous.", "Xander: Is that really it or is there something you're hiding?", "Larry: (leans on his locker door) I could hide my fist in your face.", "Xander: I know your secret, big guy. I know what you've been doing at night.", "Larry: You know, Harris, that nosey little nose of yours is going to get you into trouble someday... (grabs Xander by the shirt) Like today.", "Xander: Hurting me isn't gonna make this go away. People are still gonna find out.", "Larry: (lets go) Alright. What do you want? Hush money? Is that what you're after?", "Xander: I don't *want* anything! I just wanna help!", "Larry: What, you think you have a cure?", "Xander: No, it's just... I know what you're going through because I've been there. That's why I know you should talk about it.", "Larry: Yeah, that's easy for *you* to say. I mean, you're nobody. I've got a reputation here.", "Xander: Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt.", "Larry: (points at Xander's chest) Look, if this gets out, it's over for me. (turns and takes a few paces away) I mean, forget about playing football. They'll run me outta this town. I mean, come on! How are people going to look at me (faces Xander) after they find out I'm gay. Xander looks at him in astonishment. Larry looks like a heavy burden has just been lifted and smiles.", "Larry: Oh, wow. I said it. And it felt... okay. (whispers) I'm gay. (approaches Xander) I am gay.", "Xander: I heard you the first time.", "Larry: I can't believe it. It was almost easy. I never felt I could tell anyone. (gestures to Xander) And then you, you of all people, you bring it outta me.", "Xander: It probably would have slipped out even if I wasn't here.", "Larry: (leans on his locker door) No, no, because knowing you went through the same thing, made it easier for me to admit it.", "Xander: (wide-eyed) The same thing...", "Larry: (puts his arm around Xander) It's ironic. I mean, all those times I beat the crap out of you, it musta been because I recognized something in you that I didn't want to believe about myself.", "Xander: (laughs nervously) Larry, no, I am not...", "Larry: Of course, of course not. Don't worry. (pats Xander on the shoulder) I wouldn't do that to you. Your secret's safe with me. He gives Xander a thumbs-up and smiles.", "Larry: (to himself) Wow. He drapes the towel around his neck, closes his gym locker and walks off. Xander stares after him in disbelief.", "Cut to the library. Willow is 'Net surfing on her laptop. Buffy comes out of Giles' office and goes over to her.", "Buffy: So what's the scuttlebutt? Anybody besides Larry fit our werewolf profile? (sits on the table)", "Willow: There is one name that keeps getting spit out. Aggressive behavior, run-ins with authorities, about a screenful of violent incidents.", "Buffy: Okay, most of those were not my fault. Somebody else started 'em. I was just standing up for myself.", "Willow: (looks up at Buffy) They say it's a good idea to count to ten when you're angry.", "Buffy: One... Two... Three...", "Willow: (looks back at her laptop) I'll keep looking. (goes back to work)", "Buffy: I, um... noticed you were looking solo.", "Willow: Yeah. Oz wanted to be someplace that was (looks up at Buffy) away... from me.", "Buffy: I'm sorry.", "Willow: (leans back in her chair) I can't figure him out. I mean, he's so hot and cold. Or luke-warm and cold.", "Buffy: Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want.", "Willow: It doesn't seem like a fair trade. (stands up and puts her laptop in its case)", "Buffy: Well, if you wanna up the speed quotient with Oz, maybe you need to do something daring. Maybe you need to make the first move. She slides off of the table, and Willow follows her as she gets her stuff for class.", "Willow: Well, that won't make me a slut?", "Buffy: I think your reputation will remain intact.", "Cut to the hall. Willow and Buffy come out of the library.", "Willow: It used to be so much easier to tell if a boy liked you. He'd punch you on the arm and then run back to his friends.", "Buffy: Those were the days.", "Xander: (comes up to them) Hey. They stop. He taps Buffy on the arm. She looks up at him.", "Willow: I'll see you guys later. (Buffy looks at her) Cordelia asked me to look over her history homework before class. I think that means I might have to *do* it. (goes off)", "Xander: Wow, those two gals are hanging out a lot together. This would be a good time to panic. Buffy lets out a laugh. They start down the hall.", "Buffy: So how'd it go with Larry?", "Xander: What's that supposed to mean?", "Buffy: I think it's supposed to mean, 'so how'd it go with Larry'? She stops at her locker and reaches for the combination lock.", "Xander: He's not the werewolf. Can't we just leave it at that? Must you continue to *push* and *push*?", "Buffy: (opens her locker) I'm sorry. I was just wondering. (takes off her pack)", "Xander: Well, he's not.", "Buffy: Okay.", "Xander: Okay.", "Buffy: But there goes our lead suspect. (sticks her pack in her locker) Which then puts us right back at (closes the locker) square boned.", "Xander: You're not boned, you're Buffy. Eradicator of evil. Defender of, um... things that need defending.", "Buffy: Tell that to Theresa. She could have used my defending before she was ripped apart by that... (stops and considers)", "Xander: Werewolf.", "Buffy: Nowhere in any of the reports did it say anything about her being mauled. (looks up at Xander) I mean, they were linked to the animal attacks from the other night, so we just assumed werewolf.", "Xander: What else should we have assumed?", "Cut to the funeral home. Theresa is laid out in her coffin with a scarf around her neck. Buffy pulls it back and sees the bite.", "Buffy: Vampire.", "Xander: So that's good, right? I mean in the sense of the werewolf didn't get her, and... (gets a look from Buffy) No. There is no good here.", "Buffy: No good. Instead of not protecting Theresa from the werewolf,", "(goes over to the guest register) I was able to not protect her from something just as bad. (looks at all the signatures) She had a lot of friends. (takes the pen to add her own)", "Xander: Buffy, you can't blame yourself for every death that happens in", "Sunnydale. If it weren't for you people'd be lined up five deep waitin' to get themselves buried. Willow would be Robbie the Robot's love slave, I wouldn't even have a head, (looks at the coffin) and Theresa's a vampire. Theresa sits up, looks over at them and growls. Buffy turns around and sees her hop out of the coffin. She lunges at Theresa, grabs her and tries to wrestle her to the floor, but Theresa throws her down instead. She dives after Buffy and tries to pin her, but Buffy rolls her over and gets on top. She makes a quick grab for a wooden easel holding a flower wreath and breaks off a leg. She's about to thrust it into Theresa's chest when she speaks.", "Theresa: Angel sends his love. Buffy is caught off guard by that and hesitates a moment. Theresa kicks Buffy's arm and sends the stick flying away. She grabs Buffy by the shoulders, wrestles her onto her back and pins her. Buffy struggles to keep her at bay. Behind her Xander has grabbed the easel and jams one of its legs through Theresa's back. She bursts into ashes. Buffy stares up at Xander. He tosses the easel aside and looks down at her. Buffy looks aside sadly and then rolls over.", "Buffy: (to herself) Angel. (gets to her knees)", "Xander: (leans down to her) Are you okay?", "Buffy: (takes his hand) This isn't happening. (pulls herself up and hugs Xander) He's gonna keep coming after me.", "Xander: (hugs back gently) Don't let him get to you. He's not the same guy you knew. She pulls back a bit and looks up at him. He looks back kindly. She lets go, picks up her backpack and goes out. Xander stares after her.", "Xander: Oh, no, my life's not too complicated. He shakes his head and follows her out.", "Cut to the woods. Cain's van is parked with the curtains drawn across the cab. Cut inside the van. It's set up like a small hunter's lodge, with hunting equipment and traps hanging from the walls and a lab bench full of reloading equipment. He reaches down, picks up a small iron pan and sets it on the bench. He has a Bunsen burner going. He takes a small long-handled melting cup and holds it over the flame. When the metal in the cup has become molten he brings it over to a mold that he's holding over the iron pan with his other hand and pours the silver into it. He sets the melting cup aside and breaks open the mold. Inside is a perfectly formed bullet. He holds it up to inspect it in the dim light.", "Cut to a shot of the full moon rising.", "Cut to Oz's dining room. He has a box full of shackles and locks and dumps them out. He looks at them and considers a moment, then with a strengthened resolve starts to put one on. He's about to put the lock on when there's a knocking at the door. He ignores it and looks at the lock. As he moves to put it on there's another knock on the door. He looks at it in frustration and sets the lock and shackles down. The knocking continues insistently as he goes over to the door. When he opens it he finds an irate Willow standing there, ready to knock even more.", "Oz: Willow! What are you doing? She pushes her way inside.", "Willow: I had this whole thing worked out. (goes toward the dining room) And I had it written down, uh, but then it didn't make any sense (turns to face him) when I was reading it back.", "Oz: Willow, this is not a very good time.", "Willow: I mean, what am I supposed to think? First, you buy me popcorn (paces away) and then you're all glad that I didn't get bit. (paces back) (softly) And you put the tag back in my shirt. (harshly) But I guess none of that means anything because instead of looking up names with me, here you are all alone in your house doing nothing by yourself.", "Oz: Willow, we'll talk about this tomorrow. I promise. He tries to take hold of her to lead her out, but she shakes him off.", "Willow: No, damn it! We'll talk about this now! Buffy told me that sometimes what a girl makes has to be the first move and now that I'm saying this, I'm starting to think that the written version sounded pretty good, but you know what I mean.", "Oz: I know, I know, it's me. I'm, I'm goin' through some... changes.", "Willow: Well, welcome to the world! Things happen. Don't you think I'm going through a lot?", "Oz: Not like me.", "Willow: Oh, what, so now you're special? (paces away into the dining room) You're special boy... (sees the shackles) With chains and stuff. Why do you have chains and stuff? Oz doubles over in pain and hugs his chest.", "Oz: Willow, please! (heads for the door) Get outta here! She stares at him confused. He falls behind the couch out of her view. There he begins to rapidly grow hair and mutate into a werewolf.", "Willow: Oz? Oz, what is it? She slowly approaches the couch. Oz's fingers grow longer and hairier.", "Willow: What's wrong? She hears Oz moaning in pain. She looks carefully over the couch, and Oz the werewolf leaps to his feet and growls at her. She screams and jumps backward away from him. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Oz's living room. Willow screams and starts to run through the dining room. Oz the werewolf gives chase. She runs down the hall and out a back door.", "Cut to the streets. Willow runs. The werewolf comes around the corner chasing after her. She goes up to a wooden fence, hops up and tries to pull herself over. She's not quite fast enough and only has one leg over when the werewolf catches up. It makes a grab for her leg, but misses as she drops over the other side and manages to land in a crouch on her feet. She sees a couple of metal trashcans there, grabs one and smashes it into the werewolf's face as it tries to climb over after her.", "Cut to the street. Cain's van rolls slowly along. He looks up and sees the werewolf trying to get over the fence.", "Cain: There you are. He pulls the van over to the side.", "Cut to the library. Giles opens a guncase, undoes the straps and pulls out the stock. He grabs the barrel and scope assembly and clicks them into place. Buffy comes walking up behind him.", "Buffy: Sorry I'm late. I had to do some unscheduled slayage in the form of Theresa. He stops his assembling to look at her.", "Giles: She's a vampire?", "Buffy: Was. Angel sent her to me. A little token of his affection.", "Giles: Buffy, I'm so sorry.", "Buffy: (holds up her hand) Not now, Giles. We can all have ourselves a good cry after we bag us a werewolf. He plugs in the laser sight and holds the tranquilizer gun up to check the scope.", "Cut to the woods. Willow runs quickly through the trees with the werewolf not far behind. She hops over a log, but then trips and falls to the ground. She rolls to face the werewolf and looks at it in terror. It doesn't attack, but instead sniffs the air. It looks around for the direction of the scent and rushes off. Willow quickly gets to her feet and runs the other way.", "Cut to the library. Giles checks the trigger mechanism of the gun.", "Giles: All set. (grabs a dart) Let's go find this thing. (starts out)", "Buffy: One question: how exactly do we find this thing? Willow comes barging into the library.", "Willow: It's Oz! It's Oz!", "Buffy: Wh-what's Oz?", "Willow: The werewolf.", "Giles: Are you certain?", "Willow: (frantic) Can't you just trust me on this? He-he said he was going through all these changes. Then he went through all these... changes.", "Buffy: Where is he now?", "Willow: In the woods.", "Giles: Let's go. (starts out again)", "Willow: (grabs and stops him) Go where? You're not gonna kill Oz! Yeah, he's a werewolf, but he doesn't mean to be.", "Buffy: Don't worry, Willow. We're not going to hurt him. They all start out of the library.", "Giles: I put enough Phenobarbital in this thing to sink a small elephant. It should be enough for a large werewolf. He grabs his coat from the counter and holds the door open for the girls.", "Cut to the woods. The werewolf has found what it's looking for. So has Cain, and he cocks his flintlock's hammer back and lifts it to his shoulder. The werewolf gets closer to the pile of meat Cain has left out for him.", "Cain: That's it. Let me see you. Come on, suppertime. The werewolf is on top of the bait now, and Cain takes aim.", "Cain: Good, doggy. Now play dead. He is about to pull he trigger when he gets kicked from the side. He falls to the ground, and his gun fires wild. The werewolf looks up from its meal at the commotion. Buffy grabs Cain's gun and wrestles him for it. She flips the rifle over and he follows, landing on his back and letting go of the gun in the process. As he tries to get up Buffy swings the butt of the rifle around and knocks him down and out. The werewolf comes at her, and she ducks his lunge. Giles and Willow arrive to see the werewolf grab Buffy and lift her off of her feet. She pushes him back using Cain's gun to keep from being bitten. Giles tries to get a clear shot, but the werewolf turns and holds Buffy up between them.", "Willow: Careful!", "Giles: (can't get a shot) Damn it! He keeps looking for an opening, but is quickly getting frustrated. Buffy raises the rifle high and smashes it down on the werewolf's head. It drops her and falls back stunned. It quickly gets up and swipes at her, knocking the gun from her hands. Then the werewolf shoves Buffy away and right into Giles and Willow, bowling them over. It starts to come at them. Willow scrambles for the tranquilizer gun and brings it up to bear. The werewolf charges, and Willow pulls the trigger. The dart hits it in the chest, and it staggers backward a bit before falling over unconscious.", "Willow: (looks up at Giles) I shot Oz.", "Giles: You saved us. He takes the gun from Willow. Buffy walks over to get Cain's gun. He gets to his feet and straightens his coat.", "Cain: No wonder this town's overrun with monsters. No one here's man enough to kill 'em.", "Buffy: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure of that. Cain turns to see her with his flintlock. She grabs the end of the barrel and bends it into a nice arc right in front of him and then thrusts it at him. He looks at her in astonishment.", "Buffy: How about you let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town? Cain makes a move to go but stops to give her another look. She stares back at him, and then he leaves. She looks down at Willow crouched next to Oz the werewolf and gets down with her.", "Willow: You think it'll be okay? They both look up at Giles.", "Giles: He'll be a little sore in the morning, but... he'll be Oz.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next day. Cut to the halls. Xander and Buffy walk past the trophy case and into the lounge.", "Xander: This is all so weird. I mean, how are we supposed to act when we see him?", "Buffy: Well, it's gotta be weird for him, too. Now that we know so much.", "Xander: All I know is I'll never be able to look at him the same again.", "Buffy: He's still a human being. Most of the time. They stop at the vending machine.", "Xander: Who are we talking about?", "Buffy: Oz. Who are you talking about?", "Xander: No one. He sees Larry's jock friends by the stairs knocking a girl's books out of her hands and laughing. Larry comes down the stairs behind her and quickly reaches down to help her pick up her books.", "Larry: Hey, let me get those.", "Girl: Thanks. His friends give him a surprised look. So does Buffy. Larry comes over to them.", "Larry: Hey! Xander. Look, about what you did. I, I owe you.", "Buffy: What'd you do?", "Xander: It's really nothing we should be talking about. (to Larry) Ever.", "Larry: I know, I know. It's just, well, (pats him on the arm) thanks.", "(walks off)", "Buffy: That was weird.", "They go to a table and sit.", "Xander: What, it's not okay for one guy to like another guy just because he happened to be in the locker room with him when absolutely nothing happened and I thought I told you not to push.", "Buffy: All I meant is that he didn't try to look up my skirt.", "Xander: (fidgets with is hands) Oh, oh, yeah, that's, that's the weirdness. (smiles nervously)", "Buffy: Weirdness abounds lately. Maybe it's the moon. That does stuff to people.", "Xander: I've heard that.", "Buffy: (sees Willow walk by) Certainly gonna put a strain on Willow and Oz's relationship.", "Xander: What relationship? I mean, what life could they possibly have together? (counts off on his fingers) We're talking obedience school, paper training, Oz is always in back burying their things, and that kind of breed can turn on its owner.", "Buffy: I don't know. I kinda see Oz as the loyal type.", "Xander: All I'm saying is she's not safe with him. If it were up to me...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Xander... Cut outside to Willow walking over to Oz sitting on a table.", "Buffy: It's not up to you.", "Willow: Hey.", "Oz: Hey.", "Willow: Did you want to go first?", "Oz: I spoke to Giles. He said I'll be okay. I just have to lock myself up around the full moon. Only he used more words than that. And a globe.", "Willow: I'm sorry about how all this ended up. With me shooting you and all.", "Oz: It's okay. I'm, I'm sorry I almost ate you.", "Willow: It's okay. I kind of thought you would have told me.", "Oz: I didn't know what to say. I mean, it's not everyday you find out you're a werewolf. That's fairly freaksome. It may take a couple days getting used to.", "Willow: Yeah. It's a complication.", "Oz: So... (hops off of the table and they walk) Maybe it'd be best if I just... sorta...", "Willow: What?", "Oz: Well, you know, like, stayed out of your way for awhile.", "Willow: I don't know. I'm kind of okay with you being *in* my way.", "Oz: (stops and faces her) You mean, you'd still...", "Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.", "Oz: You are quite the human.", "Willow: (smiles) So, I'd still if you'd still.", "Oz: I'd still. I'd *very* still.", "Willow: (smiles widely) Okay. (more seriously) No biting, though.", "Oz: Agreed. Willow walks off with a smile on her face. Oz turns around and watches her go. He smiles. Then he looks surprised to see her rushing back. She looks at him for an instant and then plants a kiss right on his lips. He watches her with a smile as she goes off again.", "Oz: A werewolf in love." ]

[ "Valentine's Day has everyone on edge. With secret reluctance, Cordelia dumps Xander to appease her friends. Crushed, Xander coerces Amy to cast a love spell, but it goes awry and every woman in Sunnydale, except Cordy, becomes pathologically attracted to him. A smitten Dru saves Xander from Angelus, but who will save him from the screaming mob?" ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery at night. The camera is focused on a heart-shaped locket that Xander is dangling in the extreme foreground so that everything in the distance is out of focus and unrecognizable.", "Xander: So, what do you think? The camera shifts its focus onto Buffy sitting on a gravestone.", "Buffy: It's nice.", "Cut to a full-view shot of them. They are waiting near a fresh grave. Xander approaches Buffy, still dangling the locket.", "Xander: But do you think Cordelia will like it?", "Buffy: I don't know. She pulls it toward herself with her hand to take a closer look.", "Buffy: Does she know what one of these is? He yanks it out of her hand and puts it and his hands into his jacket pockets.", "Xander: (chuckles) Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna stop making fun of me for dating Cordelia?", "Buffy: I'm sorry. But never. (Xander nods, smiles and looks down) I just think you could find somebody more... better.", "Xander: Uh, parallel universe, maybe. (looks up) Here the only other person I'm interested in is, um... unavailable. Besides, Cordy and I are really getting along. We're not fighting as much, and yesterday we just sat together, not even speakin'. You know, just, uh, enjoying comfortable silence. (grins and laughs, then loses the grin and exhales) Man, that was dull.", "Buffy: (smiles) I'm glad that you guys are getting along. (facetiously) Almost really. (reassuringly) And don't stress over the gift.", "Xander: Well, this is new territory for me. I mean, my valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders.", "Buffy: She'll love it.", "Xander: I wish dating was like slaying: (steps away) you know, simple, direct, stake to the heart, no muss, no fuss. He turns to face her again just as a vampire rises from the fresh grave. Xander reacts quickly and jerks back as the newly risen demon comes for him, but he trips and falls backward onto his butt. Buffy hops off of the gravestone and grabs the vampire from behind as he is about to grab Xander and throws him high and away. He hits the ground hard. His momentum carries him into a reverse somersault, and he rolls to his feet. He starts to come at Buffy. She leaps at him, does a double kick to his chest with both feet in rapid succession and lands upright as the vampire staggers back into the corner column of a small mausoleum. Buffy comes at him, but he blocks her first two punches and ducks a third swing. Her fourth and fifth punches, however, land on his face, but he isn't fazed. He pushes her aside into the wall of the mausoleum, and after regaining his balance comes at her again. She slides down the wall and kicks out with her leg, making him trip and spin down to the ground. As he gets up she leaps at him with a high kick and knocks him back down again. She reaches into her jacket for a stake, and when the vampire stands back up again and tries to make a grab for her she deftly plunges it into his chest. He immediately bursts into a cloud of ashes. Buffy yanks the stake back and watches with satisfaction as the ash rains to the ground. Then she heads over to Xander and gives him a hand back up to his feet.", "Buffy: Sorry to say, Xand, slaying is a tad more perilous than dating. They start out of the cemetery.", "Xander: Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School the next morning. Cordelia walks up the steps from the street. She sees her friends sitting on a wall and heads over to them. When they see her coming they all stand up and make their way toward the main entrance, ignoring her.", "Cordelia: Wait up. Hey, wait up! (jogs to catch up) Excuse me! Where's the fire sale? They all stop and turn around to face her.", "Harmony: Oh, sorry. Didn't see you.", "Cordelia: Well, why didn't you call me back last night? We need to talk about our outfits for the dance. I'm gonna wear red and black, (points at Kate) so you need to switch.", "Kate: Red and black? Is that what Xander likes?", "Cordelia: (confused) Xander? What does he have to do with this?", "Harmony: Well, a girl wants to look good for her geek.", "Cordelia: Xander's just...", "Harmony: (interrupts) When are you two gonna start wearing cute little matching outfits? 'Cause I'm planning to vomit. (to the others) Let's go. They all turn away and head into the building, leaving Cordelia behind.", "Cut to American Literature class. The bell rings.", "Ms. Beakman: Papers on my desk. Anybody tries to leave without giving me a paper is looking at a failing grade. The camera closes in on Xander sitting at the back of his row two seats behind Willow. Buffy is to Willow's right, and they both get ready to go.", "Xander: (holding his paper) Ha, ha, ha. This time I'm ready for you. No 'F' for Xander today. No, this baby's my ticket to a sweet D-minus. He stands up with his paper in his hands. The two girls do the same. Willow steps down the aisle and stops next to Amy.", "Willow: Hey, Amy.", "Amy: Hey. (pulls on her backpack) Are you guys going to the Valentine's Day dance at the Bronze? I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. Willow turns to look at Buffy with a huge smile on her face.", "Buffy: Go ahead. You know you wanna say it. Willow faces Amy again, grinning broadly.", "Willow: My boyfriend's in the band!", "Amy: (smiles and laughs) Cool. Willow looks back at Buffy.", "Buffy: I think you've now told everybody.", "Willow: Only in this hemisphere. (pulls on her pack)", "Amy: (to Buffy) What about you?", "Buffy: (waves her off) Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolate.", "Amy: Bad breakup, huh?", "Buffy: Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'. They all walk up to the teacher's desk, and Buffy hands in her paper.", "Mrs. Beakman: Thank you. Buffy heads out of the room as Willow holds up her paper as well. Xander is just making his way down the aisle behind Amy.", "Mrs. Beakman: (to Willow) Thank you. Willow follows Buffy out. Amy stands in front of Mrs. Beakman and stares her down. There is a long silence as Amy concentrates on staring into the teacher's eyes. Xander, standing behind Amy, slowly loses his smile as he sees what's going on. A moment later Mrs. Beakman smiles at Amy and gestures as though she's accepting a paper from her.", "Mrs. Beakman: Thank you, Amy. Amy smiles and starts out of the classroom. Xander comes up to the desk staring open-mouthed after Amy and hands his paper in also.", "Cut to the stairs. Buffy and Willow come walking down. Amy hops down past them with a big smile on her face and heads into the lounge.", "Willow: I just hate to think of you solo on Valentine's Day. The two of them head down the hall. Xander reaches the bottom of the stairs behind them and follows as he watches Amy go off in the other direction.", "Buffy: I'll be fine. Mom and I are gonna have a pig-out and vid fest. It's a time-honored tradition among the loveless.", "Xander: (catches up) Did you guys see that? (points at Amy)", "Buffy: See what?", "Xander: In class. I think Amy just worked some magic on Ms. Beakman.", "Buffy: You mean like witchcraft?", "Willow: You know, her mom's a witch.", "Buffy: And an amateur psycho. Amy's the last person that should be messing with that stuff.", "Xander: Maybe I should go talk to her. Giles sees them coming his way and calls out.", "Giles: Buffy! (approaches them) Buffy... Might I have a word?", "Buffy: Have a sentence, even.", "Giles: (gets the joke) Oh. Good. Well, uh... He happens to glance off into Jenny's classroom as she's talking to a student by the door.", "Jenny: (to the student) Back it up before you leave. She steps into the hall and stops. She and Giles exchange looks with each other. Buffy notices the exchange and looks down sadly. Jenny shrugs and smiles thinly at Giles.", "Jenny: Rupert.", "Giles: Ms. Calendar. (looks down) She glances down briefly and back up, then steps toward him.", "Jenny: I'm glad we ran into each other, actually. I was hoping that we could, uh... (gestures toward her room) Do you have a minute? (fidgets with her hands)", "Giles: Um... (making excuses) Actually, not, not just now. Um, (ahem) I, uh, have a matter to discuss with, with Buffy.", "Buffy: (calmly) Right. Let's go. She gives Jenny a quick glance and squeezes between her and Giles, heading for the library. Xander and Willow watch in silence. Giles looks up at Jenny for a moment, then slowly turns to follow Buffy. Jenny drops her arms in despair, looks at Xander and Willow, and then starts down the hall the other way.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting at the table hugging her knee while Giles comes toward her slowly with his hands in his pockets.", "Buffy: Are you okay?", "Giles: (looks at her) Me? I-I-I'll be fine. (scratches his nose, then pockets his hand again) Um, I was more concerned about you, actually. Uh, since Angel, um... uh... turned... (sits on the table and folds his hands) I've, um, been reading up on, on his earlier activities. Y'know, uh, feeding patterns a-and the like.", "Buffy: And?", "Giles: Around Valentine's Day, he, he, he's rather prone to, uh... well, um, brutal displays of, uh... He would think of it as affection, I suppose.", "Buffy: Like what?", "Giles: No, no, uh, (gets up) no need to go into details. (steps away)", "Buffy: That bad?", "Giles: (faces her) Suffice it to say I, I think it would be best if you stayed off the streets for a few nights. I-I-I'll, um... (sits across from her) I'll patrol and keep an eye on things. (Buffy stares off into space) Better safe than sorry.", "Buffy: (looks over at him) It's a little late for both. Dissolve to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla opens a jewelry case, and inside is a gold necklace with rubies set into an integrated pendant. The camera pans up from it over to Spike in his wheelchair.", "Spike: Fancy it, pet?", "Drusilla: Ahhh. It's beautiful. Mm.", "Spike: Nothing but the best for my gir... Angelus walks up to the table and sets down a human heart, fresh and bloody. He smiles over at Spike, then down at Drusilla.", "Angelus: Happy Valentine's Day, Dru.", "Drusilla: Oh... (holds her hands over it) Angel! Angelus raises his eyebrows at Spike.", "Drusilla: It's still warm. Spike closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, then looks back up at Angelus.", "Angelus: I knew you'd like it. (inhales the aroma) I found it in a quaint little shopgirl. He sees the necklace, picks it up and holds it out to have a look at it.", "Angelus: Cute. (reaches around Drusilla's neck with it) Here. She pulls her hair back and away so he can close the clasp behind her neck. Spike wheels toward them, upset with Angelus' forwardness.", "Spike: I'll get it.", "Angelus: (looks up at Spike) Done. I know Dru gives you pity access, but you have to admit it's so much easier when I do things for her.", "(smiles)", "Spike: (controlling his anger) You would do well to worry less about", "Dru (Angelus rolls his eyes) and more about that Slayer you've been tramping around with.", "Angelus: (paces behind the table) Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards. (sits on the table)", "Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.", "Angelus: Lacks... poetry.", "Spike: It doesn't have to. (inhales and thinks) What rhymes with lungs?", "Drusilla: Don't worry, Spike. (looks back at Angelus) Angel always knows... (looks at the heart) what speaks to a girl's heart. The camera pans down from her to the heart.", "Cut to the Bronze for the Valentine's Day dance. Oz and Devon's band Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) are playing \"Pain\". Xander is at a table with Willow, turning a jewelry box around in his hands. The camera pans up to Willow watching the band play and bobbing her head to the beat. It pulls back to show Xander staring off in another direction, oblivious to the music. The camera focuses on the band as Devon sings.", "Lyrics: Feeling I've been lost for years Oz smiles over at Willow and then looks down at his guitar.", "Lyrics: You can never understand me / Unless you've seen those tears / But you never get to sleep Willow looks up at Oz and smiles. Oz smiles back as he plays.", "Lyrics: When I'm away / I don't mind / The deeper...", "Willow: (to Xander, smiling) Oz has his cool hair today.", "Lyrics: ...that you lay", "Willow: (excited) I think I'm a groupie! (looks back at the band)", "Lyrics: Out of time", "Cut to Cordelia coming out of the restrooms.", "Lyrics: Pain, I can't sleep She looks around and sees her friends.", "Cordelia: (smiles) Oh, hey! They all give her looks of disgust.", "Lyrics: Pain, I can't sleep", "Harmony: Let's get outta here. Cordelia just stands there and watches them go.", "Lyrics: Running...", "Cut to Buffy's house. She and her mother are lounging back on the couch watching TV. The coffee table in front of them is full of plates of cookies, cheese puffs and other snacks. Buffy has a bowl of popcorn in her lap. They hear a knock at the door and look over in that direction. Buffy looks back at her mom, exhales and hands her the popcorn.", "Buffy: Here. Joyce starts to munch on it. Buffy gets up to answer the door. Cut to outside. The camera pans over to the door as Buffy opens it and looks out. She is puzzled when there's no one there. She looks further out and in both directions. She shrugs with her eyes, goes back inside and closes the door. When she steps back into the living room her mother is gone. She looks back behind her, through the foyer and into the dining room beyond. Joyce is nowhere to be seen.", "Buffy: (concerned) Mom? She walks through the dining room and into the kitchen.", "Buffy: Mom? She walks around the island, looking around all the while, then quickly out the window when she hears a noise, but sees nothing and continues toward the kitchen door. She looks back into the dining room. When she reaches the kitchen door she is startled by her mother coming back in from outside and gasps.", "Joyce: Buffy, it's me.", "Buffy: Yeah. You just startled me a little.", "Joyce: I was just checking the back door. (closes the door) Somebody, um, left these for you. She sets a long black box with a black bow on the island for Buffy to see. She looks up at her mother and raises her eyebrows for an instant before lifting the lid off the box. Joyce looks down, curious to see what's in it. Buffy stares down at it and sees a dozen red roses along with a card bearing a single word: Soon. Her mother looks up at her with a little smile, but it fades when she sees how Buffy is just staring down at the card without saying a word or reacting in any way.", "Cut to the Bronze. The band continues playing.", "Lyrics: Pain, I can't sleep / Pain, I can't sleep Xander looks around and spots Cordelia sitting alone at a table.", "Lyrics: Pain, I can't sleep He slowly gets to his feet and walks over to her. She notices him coming, looks at him and stands up to meet him. The song is over now.", "Xander: Hey.", "Cordelia: (looks him up and down) Your clothes... You look so good.", "Xander: (looks down at himself) Oh. I let Buffy dress me. (gets a confused look from Cordelia) Well, not physically.", "Cordelia: (upset) Perfect. You had to make this harder, didn't you?", "Xander: Okay, clearly the fact that I please you visually has got us off on the wrong foot here.", "Cordelia: Xander...", "Xander: (stops her with a gesture) Let me finish. I've been thinking a lot about us lately... the why and the wherefore. You know, once, twice, a kissy here, a kissy there. And you can chalk it all up to hormones. (Cordelia looks puzzled) A-and maybe that's all we have here. Tawdry teen lust. But maybe not. Maybe something in you sees something special inside me. (Cordelia looks down, then back up) And vice versa. I mean, I think I do. See something. So... He pulls out the jewelry box and hands it to her. She takes it and looks up at him.", "Cordelia: Xander... (opens the box) Thank you. (holds up the necklace and pendant) It's beautiful. (exhales and looks at him) I wanna break up.", "Xander: (looks at her in disbelief) Okay, not quite the reaction I was looking for.", "Cordelia: (shaking her head) I know. I'm sorry. It's just... Who are we kidding? (Xander looks down at the necklace) Even if parts of us do see specialness, we don't fit.", "Xander: (looks up suddenly) Yeah! Okay... (very upset) Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentine's Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?", "Cordelia: (apologetically) I know. I didn't mean to do it this way.", "I...", "Xander: (interrupts) Well, you did.", "Cordelia gives him a sorry look. Xander stares back for a moment, then turns and goes away. Cordelia looks down at the pendant.", "Cut to the halls at school the next day. Xander comes moping around the corner. A boy passes him in the halls.", "Jack: Dude. (pats Xander's shoulder) Way to get dumped. He continues down the hall, and Xander does the same. He looks up and sees Buffy coming the other way.", "Xander: Ooo, Buffy, my bud, (takes her hand and stops her) you will not believe...", "Buffy: (looks at him) Can't talk right now. Angel.", "Xander: (lets go of her hand) Do you need help?", "Buffy: It's alright. She quickly resumes her rapid trek to the library. Xander watches her go, then continues down the hall. A group of girls passes around him, staring and giggling at him. He exhales and watches them go. A few steps further along he hears Harmony address him, and looks over at her.", "Harmony: Gee, Xander, maybe you should learn a second language so that even more girls can reject you. She and the other girls around her laugh to his face. Xander just keeps moping along. A moment later he notices Amy heading toward the stairs in front of him. He looks back for an instant and then rushes over to her, takes her by the arm and pulls her aside.", "Amy: What are you doing?", "Xander: Amy. Good to see you. (takes a quick look around) You're a witch.", "Amy: (glances around) No, I'm not. That, that was my mom, remember?", "(smiles)", "Xander: Yeah, I'm thinking it runs in the family. I saw you working that mojo on Ms. Beakman. (gestures behind himself) Maybe I should go tell somebody about...", "Amy: That's not even... (angrily) That is so mean!", "Xander: (glares back) Blackmail is such an ugly word.", "Amy: I didn't say blackmail.", "Xander: Yeah, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up.", "Amy: (folds her arms) What do you want?", "Xander: (chuckles) What do I want? I want some respect around here. I", "want, for *once*, to come out ahead. I want the Hellmouth to be working for me. You and me, Amy... (looks back at Cordelia sitting with Harmony now) we're gonna cast a little spell. Amy looks past him at Cordelia as well, then turns her eyes up at him. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ An empty classroom. Xander closes the door behind himself as he follows Amy in.", "Amy: A love spell?", "Xander: Yeah. You know, just the basic can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe anything but little old moi.", "Amy: Well, that kind of thing is the hardest! I mean, to make someone love you for all eternity?", "Xander: (waves his hand and shakes his head) Whoa! Whoa, back up. Who said anything about eternity? A man can only talk self-tanning lotion for so long before his head explodes.", "Amy: Well, then I don't get it. If you don't wanna be with her forever, then what's the point?", "Xander: The point is I want her to want me. Desperately. So I can break up with *her* and subject her to the same hell she's been puttin' *me* through.", "Amy: (turns and steps away) Oh, I don't know, Xander. (turns back) Intent has to be pure with love spells.", "Xander: Right. I intend revenge. Pure as the driven snow. Now, are you gonna play, or do we need to have another chat about invisible homework?", "Amy: (considers) I'll need something of hers. (steps closer) A personal object.", "Xander: Alright. (smiles and leaves the room)", "Cut to the library. Giles is at the table studying a book. Buffy comes striding in and up to the table. She slaps the card that came with the roses into the book in front of him. Giles startles a bit and looks up.", "Buffy: 'Soon' what, Giles? You never held out on me until the big, bad thing in the dark became my ex-honey.", "Giles: (looks at the card) Where did this come from?", "Buffy: He said it with flowers. Look, this isn't the time to start becoming Mr. Protective Guy. I can't just hang around, and I can't prepare when I don't know what's coming.", "Giles: (sits up in his chair) N-no, of-of course, you're right.", "(gestures to another chair) Uh, s-s-sit, sit down. (stands up)", "Cut to the hall. Xander sees Cordelia coming and waits for her. She spots him, pivots around and hurries the other way. Xander does a fast walk to catch up and passes her, then spins around to stop her in her tracks.", "Xander: Oh, come on, don't flatter yourself. I'm not gonna make a big scene. I just want the necklace back.", "Cordelia: (in disbelief) What? I thought it was a gift.", "Xander: No. Last night it was a gift. Today it's scrap metal. Figure I", "can melt it down and sell it for fillings or something.", "Cordelia: You're pathetic!", "Xander: Come on, I'm not gonna add to the Cordelia Chase castoff collection.", "Cordelia: (glares at him) It's in my locker.", "Xander: (points to her locker with his eyes) I can wait. She gives him another look, then goes over to her locker. Xander steps to the side of the hall and leans against the lockers about ten feet from her. He watches the people passing by as she works her combination. She opens the locker and sets down a book. She glances over at him to see if he's looking. Satisfied that he's not paying close attention she leans in behind the door, exhales, reaches under the collar of her blouse and pulls the necklace and pendant out. Xander just keeps looking around the hall. She undoes the clasp, takes it off and lets out a deep breath. She closes her locker, steps over to him and hands him the necklace.", "Cordelia: Here. It's a good thing we broke up. Now I don't have to pretend I like it. Xander just gives her a look and leaves.", "Cut to the school that night. Cut to the science lab. Xander is holding a candle and sitting bare-chested and cross-legged on the floor inside a large red symbol for woman painted on the floor. Three red vertical stripes are painted on his chest. Amy is at a lab table where she's waving the locket over her witch's brew, which is boiling in a beaker over a Bunsen burner.", "Amy: Diana... goddess of love and the hunt... I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of Xander's beloved. (lowers the necklace into the brew) May she neither rest nor sleep (the brew sparks) until she submits to his will only. The flame of the burner becomes huge as the power of the spell emanates from the beaker and swirls above it and between her hands.", "Amy: Diana, bring about this love and bless it. The swirls of energy begin to return to the beaker and disappear.", "Amy: (to Xander) Blow out the candle now! The spell's power has dissipated. Xander blows out the candle and the screen goes black.", "Cut to the school the next morning. Cut to the hall outside the lounge. Xander sees Cordelia and her friends sitting at a table and goes over to them with confidence. He rests one hand on the table and leans over it next to Cordelia, looking around at all the girls and giving them a smile. Cordelia looks up at him.", "Cordelia: What?", "Xander: (confidently) Morning, ladies. (to Cordelia) Some kind of weather we've been having, huh?", "Cordelia: What do you want? You can't be sniffing around for more jewelry to melt, because all you ever gave me was that Smallmart-looking thing. (looks back down at her notebook)", "Xander: (chuckles and leans in to Cordelia) Is this love? 'Cause maybe on you it doesn't look that different.", "Cordelia: (pushes him away) What are you doing? Are you going, like, stalker-boy on me now?", "Xander: (confused) Sorry. My mistake.", "Cordelia: Yeah, I should say so. He walks away. She looks at the other girls at the table.", "Cordelia: What is his deal?", "Cut to the library. Giles is sitting on the table looking through a book. Buffy is sitting in a chair across from him.", "Giles: Look, here's another. Here. Um, 'Valentine's Day.' Yes, uh... 'Angel nails a puppy to the...'", "Buffy: (interrupts) Skip it.", "Giles: Uh, but it...", "Buffy: I don't wanna know. I don't have a puppy. Skip it.", "Giles: (closes the book) Right you are. I'll get another batch. He gets off of the table and heads into his office. Xander walks in and up to the table.", "Xander: I have a plan: we use me as bait.", "Buffy: You mean make Angel come after you?", "Xander: No, I mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks for fish to nibble at 'cause it would be more fun than *my* life.", "Buffy: Yeah. (gets up) I heard about you and Cordy. That's her loss.", "(leans on the table)", "Xander: Yeah. Not really the popular theory.", "Buffy: (looks up at him) You know what I'd like? Why don't you and I do something together tonight? Just the two of us.", "Xander: (does a double take) Really?", "Buffy: Yeah. We can comfort each other.", "Xander: Well, would lap dancing enter into that scenario at all? 'Cause", "I find that very comforting. (grins) She stands up, stares into his eyes and takes a step closer to him.", "Buffy: (smiles) Play your cards right...", "Xander: (stops her with his hand) Okay, uh... You do know that I'm Xander, right?", "Buffy: (looks down) I don't know, I just... (looks up) heard that you and Cordy broke up, and I guess I was just surprised how glad I was. (plays with his shirt) It's funny... (leans into him) how you can see someone every day but not really see them. You know?", "Xander: (smiles and chuckles nervously) Yeah, it's funny. And it's just gettin' funnier. She puts her finger to his lips to quiet him and slowly leans toward him for a kiss. Behind them Amy walks into the library.", "Amy: Xander, can I talk to you for a minute? Buffy pulls back slightly. Xander looks at Amy, back at Buffy, then at Amy again.", "Xander: Yeah, okay.", "Cut to the hall outside the library. Amy comes out with Xander right behind her. He makes sure the door is closed, looks in through the window at Buffy for a second, and then gives his attention to Amy.", "Amy: Xander.", "Xander: Yeah.", "Amy: I don't think the spell worked out right.", "Xander: Oh, yeah, it bombed. No biggie. (grins)", "Amy: Well, we can always try again. He looks back through the window and sees Buffy looking out at him.", "Amy: I am still pretty new at this.", "Xander: Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. You know what? It was wrong to meddle with the forces of darkness. I see that now. (Amy smiles at him) I think we've all grown. I gotta go. (moves to go back in)", "Amy: (stops him with her hand) Oh, we don't have to cast any spells. He sees Buffy staring out at him with her finger between her lips.", "Amy: We can just... hang out.", "Xander: Sure. (looks at Amy) What?", "Amy: (smiles) Well, I liked spending time with you. You're so sweet. You know, it's funny how you can... you can see a person every day and... He starts to realize what's going on.", "Xander: Not really see them. He looks in at Buffy again. She's still staring out at him, playing with her hair between her lips.", "Amy: Exactly. So, anyway, I thought it might... Another girl approaches them in the hall.", "Cordette: Hi, Xander.", "Xander: What?", "Cordette: You're in Mr. Baird's history class, right?", "Xander: Yeah.", "Cordette: I thought maybe we could study together tonight.", "Amy: (interrupts) Do you mind? We were talking. The two girls glare at each other. Xander begins to worry.", "Xander: Uh, I really gotta go. Right now. He heads down the hall away from them. They both just watch him go.", "Cut to Xander's room at home. He barges in and slams the door behind him. He calms down a bit, takes the few steps over to his bed and sits on it. Behind him Willow sits up from under the covers wearing one of his shirts and touches him on the back. Xander jumps up in surprise and stares at her in shock.", "Willow: Sorry. I wanted to surprise you.", "Xander: (grins nervously) Good job! High marks.", "Willow: Don't be so jumpy. I've been in your bed before.", "Xander: Yeah, but Will, we were both in footy pajamas.", "Willow: Xand, I've been thinking.", "Xander: Will, I, I think I know what you've been thinking. But this is all my fault. I cast a spell, and it sort of backfired.", "Willow: (rubs the sheets) How long have we been friends?", "Xander: (very nervous) A long, long time. Too long to do anything that might change that now.", "Willow: (moves to the edge of the bed) Well, friendships change all the time. People grow apart. They grow closer. (smiles up at him)", "Xander: Uh, this is good! How close we are now. I feel very comfortable with this amount of closeness. In fact, (points behind himself) I can even back up a few paces and still be happy. (steps back) See? (smiles, still nervous) She gets up from the bed and approaches him. His shirt is the only thing she's wearing.", "Willow: I want you, Xander... (smiles) to be my first!", "Xander: (extremely nervous) Baseman. Please tell me we're talking baseball. He starts to back up when she reaches him. She puts her hands up against his chest.", "Willow: Shhh. He backs into the door. She rubs her hands up and down his chest.", "Willow: We both know it's right. (leans into him for a kiss)", "Xander: (backs his head away) It's not that I don't find you sexy.", "Willow: (leans away to look at him) Is it Oz? (shakes her head) Don't worry about him. He's sweet, but... he's not you. (rubs his chest more)", "Xander: Yes, he is. And you should go to him. 'Cause he's me. (grins) She leans up to the side of his face and starts to suck on his earlobe. Xander is sweating bullets now, having no idea how to handle this.", "Xander: I-I don't wanna use force. She lets go of his ear and leans back to face him again with a wide smile on her face.", "Willow: Mm. Force is okay! She tries for his ear again, but he takes her by the arms and pushes her away. She stares at him in confusion.", "Xander: Th-that's it! This has gotta stop. It's time for me to act like a man. (opens the door behind him) And hide. (rushes out)", "Cut to the hall at school. Cordelia comes in at the far end and walks up to her friends standing there in a huddle. They all cross their arms and face her when she arrives.", "Cordelia: Ha. Very funny. What did I do now, wear red and purple together?", "Harmony: You know what you did. Xander is wounded because of you. They all walk past her in disgust. She turns around, and they face her when she speaks.", "Cordelia: Are you tripping? I thought you wanted me to break up with him!", "Harmony: Only a sick pup would let Xander get away, no matter what her friends said. They all give her a huff and leave.", "Cordelia: What does it take to make you people happy?", "Cut to a pair of doors in the halls. The camera is at a low angle for a shot of Xander's shoes as he pushes open the doors and walks into the hall in slow motion to the tune of \"Got the Love\" by The Average White Band.", "Lyrics: Hey, yeah / Got the love, got the love", "Cut to Xander staring at all the girls looking at him with love in their eyes, some giggling, some giving him sexy looks, some just watching him walk.", "Lyrics: Mm, yeah / Got the love, got the love He looks over at the other side of the hall, and it's more of the same.", "Lyrics: Got the love, got the love / Sugar baby / Got the love, got the love Xander keeps walking up the hall. The guys are clearly not happy that he has the attention of all the girls.", "Lyrics: Oh, now, babe, you've been gone such a long time Behind him the girls start to gather and follow.", "Lyrics: Been thinkin' 'bout what it is we got Several girls cross in front of him and check him out.", "Lyrics: Not all the time in the world / Whoo! / But got a lot Xander looks around in disbelief.", "Lyrics: Now, there's much more than a ghost of a chance More girls stare at him walking by, and he gets looks and shakes of heads from the guys.", "Lyrics: We can make it right this time A group of four girls starts to tail him down the hall.", "Lyrics: 'Cause you've got to stay mine", "Cut to the library. Xander comes in, closes the door behind him and checks to see if any of the girls are following him in.", "Lyrics: Yeah, I got the love / Got the love, got the love Satisfied he has no stalkers, he heads into the library to find Giles as the music fades out.", "Lyrics: We got to make it work / Got the love, got the love", "Giles: (comes down the stairs) Xander. (looks at him) What is it? (sets his books down)", "Xander: It, it's me... throwing myself at your mercy.", "Giles: What? Why? (takes off his glasses to clean them)", "Xander: I made a mess, Giles. See, I found out that Amy's into witchcraft, and I was hurt, I guess, so I... made her put the love whammy on Cordy, but it backfired, and now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make me her cuddle monkey, which may sound swell on paper, but... Jenny comes into the library behind them and strides up to Giles.", "Jenny: Rupert, we need to talk. Hey, Xander. Nice shirt. (rubs his shirt) Look, Rupert, I know that you're angry at me, and I don't blame you, but I am not just gonna go away. (keeps rubbing Xander's arm) I mean, I care far too much about you to... (looks at Xander's arm) Have you been working out? Xander gives Giles a 'see what I mean?' look. Giles grabs Jenny by the arms and pulls her away and behind him.", "Jenny: Oh! She stares at Xander with a look of desire in her eyes. Giles looks at her, at Xander, back at her, and finally back at Xander.", "Giles: I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this!", "Xander: Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this. Jenny keeps staring at him while she plays with her necklace.", "Giles: Has, uh... Has Amy tried to reverse the spell?", "Xander: I get around Amy and all she wants to do is talk honeymoon plans.", "Jenny: (steps toward Xander) Rupert, maybe I need to talk to Xander alone.", "Giles: (pushes her back) Do you have any idea how serious this is? People under a-a love spell, Xander, are-are deadly. They lose all capacity for reason. He looks at Jenny who has begun rubbing her hands over her face and neck, then down her body.", "Giles: (to Xander) And if what you say is true and the entire female population is affected, I... (sternly) Don't leave the library. (Jenny keeps staring) I'll find Amy and see if we can put a stop to this thing. He starts to leave the library. Jenny rubs her fingers together, alone at last with Xander, and sashays up to him. He steps back away from her. Giles walks back up to them, takes Jenny by the hand and pulls her out of the library behind him. Jenny moans and reaches her arm out to Xander as Giles drags her off.", "Jenny: No! Xander realizes he's finally alone without any girls around, and quickly moves to push the mobile card catalog in front of the doors in an attempt to keep it that way. As he heads back toward the table Buffy pulls the door out and open and steps in wearing only a short black raincoat that reaches barely down to mid-thigh and black high heels. When Xander hears the door swing shut and smack the card catalog behind him he spins around and stares at Buffy in shock. She is standing there with one hand on the catalog and the other propped up on top of the theft detector and smiles at him as she raises her right ankle and rubs it against her left calf.", "Buffy: Alone at last.", "Xander: (stares open-mouthed) Buff, give me a heart attack!", "Buffy: Oh, (starts a sexy walk toward him) I'm gonna give you more than that. (grabs her raincoat belt to untie it)", "Xander: (backs away, gesturing with his hands) Buff, for the love of God, don't open that raincoat.", "Buffy: Come on! It's a party! Aren't you gonna open your present?", "(undoes a button)", "Xander: (keeps backing toward the stairs nervously) It's not that I", "don't want to. Sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. (trips and falls backward onto the stairs) Not like this. This isn't real to you. (Buffy steps up and puts her leg over him) You're only here because of a spell. (gets a confused stare from her) I mean, if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me... (shakes his head) But you don't. So I can't.", "Buffy: (starts to get upset) So you're saying this is all a game?", "Xander: A game? I... No!", "Buffy: (angry) You make me feel this way, and then you reject me? What am I, a toy?", "Xander: Buffy, please calm down.", "Buffy: I'll calm down when you explain yourself!", "Amy: (appears behind them) Get away from him. (Buffy turns to her) He's mine.", "Buffy: (steps toward Amy) Oh, I don't think so. (looks back at him) Xander, tell her.", "Xander: What? I, uh...", "Amy: He doesn't have to say. (Buffy looks back at her) I know what his heart wants.", "Buffy: Funny, I know what your face wants. She swings and punches Amy in the face. She falls to the floor. Buffy confronts Xander.", "Buffy: What is this, you're two-timing me? Xander doesn't know what to say. Amy gets up. Her nose is bloody and her eyes have become pitch-black. She begins to weave a spell with her hands.", "Amy: Goddess Hecate, work thy will.", "Xander: Uh-oh. The spell's energy swirls around her.", "Amy: Before thee let the unclean thing crawl! She thrusts her arms out at Buffy, and the power of the spell leaps from her hands and envelops the Slayer. The energy soon dissipates.", "Xander: Buffy! (stares in utter disbelief) Oh, my God!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Xander looks down at Buffy's empty raincoat lying on the floor, then back up at Amy. Giles comes back into the library with Jenny.", "Giles: What, what just happened?", "Xander: (indicates the raincoat) Buffy. Jenny smiles broadly when she sees Xander and tries to go to him, but Giles holds her back.", "Giles: Where is she? They both look down at the raincoat. Cut to a shot of a sleeve. Buffy has been turned into a rat, and she comes crawling out.", "Giles: Oh, my God!", "Amy: (steps over to Xander) Why is she here? (gestures at Jenny)", "Xander: Can you focus for a minute? You just turned Buffy into a rat. Buffy starts to scamper across the floor. Giles follows her with his gaze.", "Amy: (to Xander) Buffy can take care of herself. (takes his arm) Why don't we go someplace private? Jenny puts her hands on her hips and gives Amy a haughty look. Giles looks around for where Buffy went.", "Xander: (jerks his arm away) Can you... I'm not going anywhere until you change her back.", "Jenny: (steps over to Amy) You heard him. So why don't you undo your little magic trick and get lost?", "Amy: Who made you Queen of the World? Well, you're old enough to be.", "Jenny: Well, what can I say? (grabs Xander by the shirt) I guess Xander's just too much man (pulls him closer) for the pimple squad. Amy puts her arm between them and pushes Xander away from Jenny. She waves her hands before her and begins to cast another spell. Her eyes turn pitch-black, and energy begins to swirl around her as she speaks.", "Amy: Goddess Hecate, to you I pray, with this...", "Xander: (puts his hand over Amy's mouth) Would you quit with the Hecate?! (pulls her back and away)", "Cut to the halls. Cordelia is at her locker and closes it. She starts down the hall, but runs into Harmony and friends waiting to confront her.", "Cordelia: Okay, what now? You don't like my locker combination?", "Harmony: (hands on her hips) It's just not right. You never loved him. You just used him. You make me sick.", "Cordelia: (sarcastically) Okay, Harmony, if you need to borrow my Midol, just ask. Harmony slaps Cordelia across the face. She holds her hand to her face and looks at Harmony in surprise. She turns to go the other way, but Cordette blocks her way and pushes her up against the lockers. Then she and another girl pull her away from the wall and shove her down to the floor.", "Cut to the library. Giles has had enough and talks sternly to Amy and Jenny.", "Giles: You two, sit. (Amy goes to the table) And be quiet. (Jenny joins her) We have to catch the Buffy rat. (takes off his coat)", "Xander: (spots Buffy) Ooo, there! Buffy squeezes behind a bookcase as he rushes to try to catch her. Amy and Jenny sit down at the table across from one another, each staring at the other. Xander is too late to get Buffy, but he sees her crawl along the space behind the case toward the other end. He quickly crawls along the front of the case to head her off. Giles watches at the end that Xander just left. Xander peeks around the other end of the bookcase to wait for Buffy to come out.", "Xander: Good Buffy. Just... He sees someone come up next to him and looks up. There he sees Oz standing over him, and the next thing he knows Oz has punched him in the face. He stumbles backward into the shelves. Giles is startled and looks up as well. Oz shakes out his hand. Buffy makes her escape from behind the bookcase and goes out of the library doors into the hall.", "Oz: (still shaking his hand) That kinda hurt.", "Xander: (rubbing his cheek) Kinda?! What was that for?", "Oz: I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about *you*. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to... hit you. (offers his hand to help Xander up)", "Xander: (takes Oz's hand and gets up) I didn't touch her. I swear.", "Giles: (upset) Xander! Where's Buffy? (starts looking again)", "Xander: (to Oz) Amy turned her into a rat.", "Oz: (looks around) Oh. Giles and Xander get on their knees and look around while making squeaking noises. Oz crouches down to look as well.", "Giles: I don't see her. If anything happens to her, I'll... (looks at Xander in disgust) Oh, just go home. (stands up) Lock yourself away. You're only going to cause more problems here. Now, Amy, Jenny and I will, uh... try and break the spell. (the women stand up) Oz, if, if you could aid us in, in finding, um... Buffy.", "Oz: Sure. Absolutely. Xander starts to say something, but Giles cuts him off before he can even get out a word, doing his best to control his anger.", "Giles: Just go. Get out of my sight. Xander doesn't take it very well and stares at Giles for a moment with his mouth agape, but then goes with his head hung low. Oz crouches back down to look for Buffy.", "Oz: Buffy...", "Cut to the hall. Xander comes out of the library, still looking down, when he hears Cordelia cry out and looks down the hall toward her voice.", "Cordelia: What are you doing?! You guys are crazy! He sees a group of girls apparently involved in a catfight.", "Harmony: You thought you could do better, is that it?", "Cordelia: No, I...", "Cordette: We'll knock that snotty attitude right out of you! The crowd of girls opens a bit, and Xander sees that it is indeed Cordelia that they are attacking. He starts running toward them, and when they see him coming several of them break off and come at him, screaming and shouting. In their lust they try to grab him as the others push Cordelia to the floor. He fights his way through them and over to Cordelia, where one girl has begun pulling at her hair.", "Cordelia: Ow! Stop! When he reaches her, he pushes the hair-pulling girl aside, picks up Cordelia from the floor into his arms and shakes the girls off as he runs from the hall. They all chase after him.", "Cut to the library. Jenny paces while Giles sits at the table and goes through some books. Amy, seated opposite him, wipes the blood from her nose.", "Giles: You must have botched the ritual so that Cordelia's necklace actually protected her from the spell. Th-th-that one should be easily reversible. W-w-where did you learn animal transformation?", "Amy: (looks up at Giles) Why did you send Xander away? (Giles puts his hands to his eyes in despair) He needs me.", "Jenny: (chortles) That's a laugh.", "Amy: (to Jenny) He loves me. We look into each other's souls.", "Jenny: No one can love two people at once. What *we* have is real.", "Giles: Instead of making me ill, why doesn't one of you try to help me?", "Amy: (looks back into her pocket mirror) You have no idea what I'm going through.", "Giles: (gets up) (to Amy, sternly) I know it's not love. It's obsession. Selfish, banal obsession. (Jenny starts out of the library) Now, Xander has put himself in very great danger. If you cared at all about him, you'd help me save him, rather than wittering on about your feelings. Amy looks away from him. Jenny goes out the door. Giles pokes his fingers into the book in front of Amy.", "Giles: Now, let's get on with some work. (turns to Jenny) Now, Jenny... (sees she's gone) Great!", "Cut to an exit from the halls to outside. Xander and Cordelia come running out.", "Xander: I think we... (sees a crowd of girls waiting for them) lost 'em. Willow is at the front of the crowd holding a large fire ax.", "Willow: I should've known I'd find you with her.", "Xander: Will... Come on, you don't wanna hurt me.", "Willow: Oh, no? You don't know how hard this is for me. I love you so much! I'd rather see you dead than with that bitch. She raises the ax and advances toward him. The others start toward him as well. Harmony and her friends come running out of the hall now, too, and confront the crowd. The girls all scream and yell as they fight. Harmony grabs Willow's ax and wrestles her for it.", "Harmony: Get away from him! He's mine! As the girls all fight Xander and Cordelia make their escape. When the girls realize they've gone they start to give chase.", "Cut to the school basement door standing ajar. Buffy scampers in and hops down each step. She makes her way over to the boiler room. Oz has managed to track her and comes down the steps behind her with a flashlight. When he reaches the bottom of the steps he scans around, looking for where she went. Buffy goes into the boiler room, and Oz soon follows. A cat sees Buffy and meows meanly at her. Buffy squeaks and runs off. The cat chases after her.", "Cut to Buffy's street. Xander and Cordelia come running down it and slow to a walk.", "Xander: Okay, now I really think we've lost them.", "Cordelia: Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made *you* Elvis?", "Xander: (sees the house) Buffy's house. Let's get inside. I'll explain later. They run up to the door and Xander knocks fast and loud, looking back to see if the crowd of girls has found them yet. Cordelia joins in the knocking.", "Cordelia: (frantic) Come on!", "Joyce: (opens the door) Xander, Cordelia, what... They push their way in past her.", "Cordelia: Yeah, hi. She slams the door shut behind her, and she and Xander look out the small windows in the door to make sure there's still no one following them. Cut inside the kitchen. Xander walks in with Joyce and Cordelia close behind.", "Joyce: What happened? Why are you all scratched up? Where's Buffy?", "Xander: She's, um... around.", "Joyce: (gestures to a stool) Well, sit down and tell me about it. (Xander sits) (to Cordelia) Why don't you run upstairs and grab some bandages out of the bathroom? Cordelia goes down the hall toward the stairs. Joyce looks at Xander again.", "Joyce: Let me, uh, get you something to drink. You in the mood for cold or hot?", "Xander: I, uh... (shrugs with his hands)", "Joyce: (walks around behind him) I think it's (starts rubbing his shoulders) more of a *hot* night, don't you? (leans in and giggles)", "Xander: (drops his head to the table) Whatever.", "Joyce: (massages his shoulders) Ooo, you are so tense. (kisses his neck) Mm.", "Cordelia: (comes back) What are you doing? Make me yak!", "Joyce: (defensive) Cordelia, go back upstairs. This is between us.", "Cordelia: Gross! I think not. She grabs Joyce by the arm and pushes her back toward the door and opens it.", "Joyce: What are you doing? Hey! Get your hands off me! Cordelia pushes her out of the door, slams it shut and locks it.", "Cordelia: And keep your mom-aged mitts off my boyfriend. Former! (to Xander) Why has everyone gone insane?", "Xander: Insane? Is it so impossible for you to believe that other women find me attractive?", "Cordelia: The only way you could get girls to want you would be witchcraft.", "Xander: That is such a... (concedes) Well, yeah, okay, good point. Joyce breaks one of the kitchen door windowpanes.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! Joyce reaches in and feels around for the lock.", "Joyce: Xander, honey, let Joycie in. Hon, let Joycie in! Xander gets up, takes hold of Cordelia and leads her out of the kitchen at a run.", "Xander: Upstairs! Buffy's room!", "Joyce: (finds and works the lock) Sweetheart...", "Cut to Buffy's room. They run in, and Cordelia slams the door shut. Xander goes to the window and checks outside.", "Xander: Good. The mob still hasn't found us. We should be safer up here. Just as he looks back from the window Angelus grabs him from outside.", "Angelus: Works in theory. He pulls Xander out onto the roof.", "Cordelia: (terrified) Xander! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The boiler room at school. The cat has apparently gone or been chased away. Buffy crawls around, trying to find the source of a scent. The camera pans behind some crates over to a trap baited with cheese.", "Cut to the roof outside of Buffy's window. Angelus grabs Xander by the shirt.", "Angelus: Where's Buffy?! Cordelia comes up to the window and looks out at them.", "Xander: Cordy, get outta here! Angelus throws him off of the roof to the lawn below. He leaps down after him and stands over him.", "Angelus: Perfect. (grabs Xander and pulls him up) I wanted to do something special for Buffy, actually to Buffy, but this is *so* much better! Xander knees him in the crotch, but Angelus isn't fazed. He flips Xander over backward onto the grass again. He bends down, grabs Xander's hair and lifts his head up.", "Angelus: If it's any consolation, I feel very close to you right now. A hand grabs Angelus by the shoulder, pulls him up and throws him aside into a tree. He hits it hard and slides down to the ground. Xander jumps to a conclusion and looks up at his savior.", "Xander: Buffy, how...", "Drusilla: Don't fret, kitten. (helps him up) Mummy's here.", "Angelus: I don't know what you're up to, Dru, but it *doesn't* amuse! She growls at Angelus and he growls back.", "Drusilla: If you harm one hair on this boy's head... (strokes his hair)", "Angelus: You've gotta be kidding. Him?", "Drusilla: Just because I finally found a *real* man... (turns Xander to face her)", "Angelus: I guess I really *did* drive you crazy. (backs away)", "Drusilla: (runs her fingers over Xander's lips) Your face is a poem. (moans) I can read it.", "Xander: (terrified) Really? It doesn't say 'spare me' by any chance?", "Drusilla: Shhh. (kisses him) How do you feel about eternal life?", "Xander: (trembles with fear) We couldn't just start with a coffee? A movie, maybe? She grabs his hair and jerks his head to the side, exposing his neck. She moves in to bite him, but gets distracted by the screams of the mob of women running at them. Willow leads them with her ax. Jenny and the rest are right behind. Some of the others have weapons as well.", "Girl: There he is! Get them!", "Jenny: He's mine! Get off! Drusilla lets go of Xander. Willow shoves her aside. Jenny jumps onto Xander and knocks him to the ground. All the girls are screaming. Several of them including Harmony begin to paw at him. Willow stands over him with her ax. Cordelia comes out of the house and rushes toward the mob. Xander gets pinned down, and Willow raises her ax to strike.", "Willow: All you had to do was love me!", "Cordelia: No! She grabs the ax and shoves Willow over and onto the ground, then tries to free Xander.", "Cordelia: Get out of the way! Move it! Get off him! She pushes the one that has him pinned down off of him, grabs his hand and pulls him up.", "Cordelia: Back off! She pushes him ahead of her, and they start to run back to the house. They just manage to slam the door in the faces of their pursuers. Cut to outside the door to the kitchen. Drusilla hits it with both hands, and it goes crashing to the floor. Two girls rush in beside her.", "Girl: I love you! When Drusilla tries to follow an unseen force prevents from entering the house. Angelus watches from behind her.", "Angelus: Ahh! Sorry, Dru. (she turns to face him) I guess you're not invited.", "Cut to Xander and Cordy inside the front door. Joyce comes up behind them holding a large knife.", "Joyce: It's never gonna work for us, Xander. We have to end it. The other two girls come up behind her. Cordelia yells out in fright as Xander pulls her away from the door. Cut inside the basement. Xander and Cordelia rush in. He pulls the door closed behind him and hooks it shut.", "Cut to the boiler room. Oz continues scanning with his flashlight.", "Oz: Here, Buffy.", "Cut to the trap. The camera pans up from it over to a pile of rags. Buffy climbs over the pile and heads for the trap.", "Cut to the science lab. Giles and Amy have a beaker of brew going over a Bunsen burner. Giles checks everything and is satisfied.", "Giles: Right. (to Amy) Go on. You first.", "Cut to the basement at Buffy's house. The door is being yanked at violently. Xander has hammered a couple of boards across the doorframe and looks back at Cordelia.", "Xander: Gimme a nail! She hands him a nail and he goes back to hammering.", "Cordelia: If we die in here I'm gonna kick your ass! I mean it!", "Xander: (looks back at her) None of this would've happened if you hadn't broken up with me. But no, you're so desperate to be popular!", "(hammers)", "Cordelia: Me? I'm not the one who embraced the black arts just to get the girls to like me. Well, congratulations, it worked!", "Xander: (looks at her) Would've worked fine, except your hide's so thick, not even magic can penetrate it! (hammers)", "She is surprised by that, and reaches out to him. He turns to face her again.", "Cordelia: You mean the spell was for me? They look at each other for a moment, then a knife blade stabs through the door. Cordelia screams, and they both run down the steps. Once at the bottom they hear glass breaking and see a hand reach in through the basement window.", "Girl reaching in: Oh, please let me touch you!", "Cut to the boiler room. Buffy crawls onto the trap.", "Cut to the science lab. Amy begins her chant.", "Amy: Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw.", "Cut to the boiler room. Oz continues looking for Buffy. Cut to the lab.", "Amy: Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart. Giles sprinkles a powder into the beaker and it sparks. Cut to the boiler room. A bright light begins to flash from behind the crate where Buffy is. Oz holds up his flashlight and squints against the light. In a few seconds it's over.", "Oz: Buffy? She raises her head and looks around from behind the crate.", "Cut to the basement at the Summers house. Cordelia screams as she and Xander run into the area where the washer and dryer are. Willow finally gets the door open.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! Xander spots a large pipe wrench and grabs it to use as a weapon.", "Xander: Stay behind me. Willow ducks under the boards Xander nailed across the doorframe and starts down the stairs. Joyce is right behind her with her knife. A crowd of girls follows them. Cordelia and Xander retreat into the corner by the water heater.", "Cut to the lab at school. Giles takes a pinch of an herb from a jar.", "Giles: Um... Diana, goddess of love, be gone. He puts the herb into the brew and it sparks.", "Giles: Hear no more thy siren's song.", "Cut to Buffy's basement. Willow leads the way in. When they find Xander and Cordelia they all charge them, screaming and shouting. They knock Xander and Cordelia to the floor. The two of them have to fight off the girls' grabbing hands.", "Cordelia: Get off! Willow has dropped her ax and paws at them like the others. Xander struggles to keep from being torn apart.", "Cut to the lab. Giles waves Cordelia's pendant over the brew and drops it in. Suddenly a cloud of energy appears above them, and they have to hold on to the lab table to keep from being knocked down. The energy draws in from the windows and spirals down into the beaker. As quickly as it was there it's gone.", "Cut to the basement. The gang of girls stops struggling. Cordelia pushes one of them away.", "Cordelia: Get off me! They all stand up and look around at each other.", "Girl: What's going on? Where am I? What's going on?", "Cut to the boiler room. Buffy stands up and Oz raises his flashlight and shines it on her. She looks down at herself. He immediately raises the light away from her and turns it off. She hugs her arms around herself to cover up.", "Buffy: (smiles) Hi, Oz!", "Oz: Hi.", "Buffy: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.", "Oz: But you're not a rat. So call it an upside.", "Buffy: You think maybe you could get me some clothing?", "Oz: Yes, I can. Just, uh... don't go anywhere. (leaves)", "Buffy: (looks around) Really not an issue.", "Cut to Joyce's basement. Everyone is still confused. Joyce looks around at all the people in her basement.", "Joyce: What... What did we...", "Cordelia: (thinking quick) Boy, that was the best scavenger hunt ever. She and Xander smile at everyone lamely.", "Cut to the halls at school the next day. Xander and Buffy come walking around the corner and continue toward the library.", "Buffy: Scavenger hunt.", "Xander: Your mom seemed to buy it.", "Buffy: So she says. I think she's just so wigged at hitting on one of my friends that she's repressing. She's getting pretty good at that. I should probably start worrying.", "Xander: Well, I'm back to being incredibly unpopular.", "Buffy: It's better than everyone trying to ax-murder you, right?", "Xander: Mostly, but, uh... Willow won't even talk to me.", "Buffy: Any particular reason she should?", "Xander: How much groveling are we talking here?", "Buffy: Oh, a month, at least. (they stop and face each other) Xander, come on, I mean... this is worse for her than anyone. She loved you before you invoked the great Roofie spirit. The rest of us...", "Xander: You remember, huh?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. I remember coming on to you, I remember begging you to undress me... And then a sudden need for cheese. I also remember that you didn't.", "Xander: Need cheese?", "Buffy: Undress me. It meant a lot to me what you said.", "Xander: C'mon, Buffy, I couldn't take advantage of you like that. Okay, for a minute, it was touch and go there...", "Buffy: You came through. There might just be hope for you yet.", "Xander: Well, tell that to Cordelia.", "Buffy: You're on your own there. She goes off down the hall leaving Xander alone.", "Cut to the colonnade. Cordelia, Harmony and friends come walking around under the balcony and head toward the foot of the stairs.", "Harmony: Cody Weinberg called me at home last night.", "Cordelia: Cody Weinberg? The one with the 350sl?", "Harmony: The very one. Said he's thinking of asking me to the pledge dance on Thursday.", "Cordelia: That's so huge!", "Harmony: Yeah, there's just two other girls he's gonna ask first, and if they refuse, then I'll... Xander bumps into Harmony as they round the corner to the stairs.", "Harmony: Watch it!", "Xander: Sorry.", "Harmony: God! (looks him up and down) Y'know, I'm glad your mom stopped working at the drive-through long enough to dress you. (to Cordelia) Oh, that reminds me. (Xander starts away) Did you see Jennifer's backpack? It is *so* a crying...", "Cordelia: (interrupts) Harmony, shut up. (Xander looks back) Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep.", "Harmony: I'm not a sheep.", "Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm *way* cooler than you are 'cause I'm *not* a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? (Xander smiles) I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. Xander's smiles fades at that. Cordelia leaves the group and goes over to him. He smiles again. When she reaches him she takes his arm and they start walking together along the colonnade.", "Cordelia: (breathing hard with anxiety) Oh, God! Oh, God!", "Xander: (pats her hand) You're gonna be okay. Just keep walkin'.", "Cordelia: Oh, God, what have I done? They're never gonna speak to me again!", "Xander: Oh, sure, they are. If it helps, whenever we're around them you and I can fight a lot.", "Cordelia: You promise?", "Xander: (takes her hand in his) You can pretty much count on it. They both smile as they continue walking." ]

[ "Angelus kicks his terror campaign against Buffy and her friends into high gear, leading them to believe Joyce is his next target. Jenny makes progress rediscovering the Romani Ritual of Restoration and, with Buffy's terse blessing, gets back together with Giles. Jenny and Giles also work with Buffy and Willow to ritually revoke Angel's invitations into their various homes. Angelus takes his anger out on Jenny with tragic results." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze. The camera extends out from the catwalk, looking straight down onto the people below. They are dancing to the slow, sensual rhythm of \"Never an Easy Way\" performed by Morcheeba.", "Lyrics: Think I slip the net / But I cut myself free", "Cut to the crowd below. Buffy and Xander are dancing together, but not close, and exchange a few words as they move around. Behind them Cordelia and Willow are sitting at a table and chatting.", "Lyrics: I'm not losing yet / So don't forget me / I'll say it, replay it... A man crosses in front of the camera, temporarily blocking the view, and when he's gone by Angelus is standing beyond the table near the base of the stairs. He watches them dance. His voice narrates throughout the scene.", "Angelus: Passion.", "Lyrics: ...and try tomorrow", "Angelus: It lies in all of us.", "Lyrics: I'll say it, replay it...", "Angelus: Sleeping...", "Lyrics: ...and live with sorrow", "Angelus: ...waiting... And though unwanted...", "Lyrics: You'd think I'd learn by now", "Angelus: ...unbidden... it will stir...", "Lyrics: There's never an easy way He begins to move around the room, all the while keeping his stare on Buffy.", "Angelus: ...open its jaws, and howl.", "Lyrics: I'll get through somehow / I'm on my knees to pray Cut outside to the alley. Willow and Buffy come walking out of the Bronze. Buffy has her arm hooked into Willow's. Cordelia and Xander are behind them with their arms around each other.", "Lyrics: You'd think I'd learn by now / There's never an easy way They walk past a couple, apparently engaged in a kiss. The camera stops on the couple.", "Lyrics: I'll get through somehow... The man lifts his head from the woman, and it's Angelus, just finishing a bite. He lets the woman's dead body fall to the pavement. He steps out into the alley, leaving the woman's body lying there, and watches the group as they walk away, completely unaware of his presence and his deed. He morphs into his human guise and begins to follow.", "Cut to a shot into Buffy's room from outside of her window. Buffy walks around her bed past the window. On her way back she pauses by the window and looks out. She lifts the blinds a little and scans around. Seemingly satisfied that no one's there she walks back over to her closet, unzipping the back of her dress along the way.", "Cut to later inside her room. She's in her pajamas now. She sets her alarm and gets into bed. She reaches over to turn off her light and settles in to sleep. The camera closes in on her a little and turns to include the window in the shot. Angelus is outside looking in.", "Cut to even later in her room. The camera closes in on a sleeping Buffy. A shadow comes across her bed, and a hand reaches over to stroke her hair with its fingers. The camera pans over to the person, and it's Angelus, sitting on the edge of her bed and looking down at her. He continues his narration as the camera pulls out for a shot of him sitting next to her while she sleeps.", "Angelus: It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Morning in Buffy's room. The camera pans from the foot of her bed up to her face. She stirs and wakes. She opens her eyes to look over at her clock, but they fix on an envelope left next to her on her pillow. She lets out an inquiring moan, pushes her hair back and picks up the envelope as she sits up. She looks down at it and sees that it's blank. She opens it, takes out the paper inside, unfolds it and can only stare at it in disbelief. Cut to a view of the sheet. On it is a pencil sketch of her sleeping.", "Buffy: He was in my room.", "Cut to the library. Giles is behind the counter checking in various books. Buffy walks past him toward the table as he looks up.", "Giles: Who?", "Buffy: Angel. He was in my room last night. He comes out from behind the counter and follows her over to the table. Xander and Cordelia are there also.", "Giles: Are you sure?", "Buffy: Positive. When I woke up, I found a picture he'd left me on my pillow. (crosses her arms)", "Xander: A visit from the pointed-tooth fairy.", "Cordelia: Wait, I thought vampires couldn't come in unless you invited them in.", "Giles: Yes, but, uh, once you've invited them in, thereafter they're, they're always welcome. Buffy looks down, then over at Xander as he speaks.", "Xander: Y'know, I think there may be a valuable lesson for you gals here about inviting strange men into your bedrooms.", "Cordelia: (realizes) Oh, God! (looks at Xander) I invited him in my car once. (looks at Giles) That means he can come into my car whenever he wants.", "Xander: Yep, you're doomed to havin' (Cordelia looks at him) to give him and his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas. Cordelia looks away, disgusted.", "Buffy: Giles, there has to be some sort of spell to reverse the invitation, right? Like a barrier, a no shoes, no pulse, no service kind of thing?", "Cordelia: Yeah, that works for a car, too?", "Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I could check on my...", "Xander: (hops up from his chair) Hello! They all look behind them and see Jonathon and a girl come into the library.", "Xander: Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?", "Jonathon: (gestures to the library before him) We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin. (nods)", "Xander: (points at Jonathon) Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?", "Giles: This is a school library, Xander.", "Xander: Since when?", "Giles: (to Jonathon) Uh, y-yes, yes, uh, third row. (gestures to the stacks) Historical biographies.", "Jonathon: Thanks. He and the girl walk past them, up the stairs and into the stacks. The others watch them go until they disappear. Xander points out of the library. He and Cordelia pick up their things and start out. Giles looks at Buffy, confused, but follows.", "Giles: What... (gets a look from Buffy) Oh! Jonathon comes back out of the stacks.", "Jonathon: Hey, did you say that was the... (sees they're gone) Hello?", "Cut to the hall. Xander and Cordelia lead Giles and Buffy as they walk along.", "Giles: So Angel has decided to step up his harassment of you?", "Cordelia: By sneaking in her room and leaving stuff at night? Why doesn't he just slit her throat or strangle her while she's sleeping or cut her heart out? (gets looks from everyone) What? I'm trying to help. They've left the hall and walk along the colonnade.", "Giles: Yes. (to Buffy) Uh, uh, look, it's-it's classic battle strategy to throw one's opponent off his game. He-he-he's just trying to provoke you. Uh, to taunt you, to, to goad you into, uh, some mishap of some sort.", "Xander: (looks back at Giles) The (sing-song) nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah approach to battle?", "Giles: Yes, Xander, once more you've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form. (Xander smiles)", "Buffy: Giles, Angel once told me that when he was obsessed with Drusilla, the first thing h-he did was to kill her family.", "Xander: (stops and looks at her) Your mom.", "Buffy: I know. I'm gonna have to tell her something. (sits on a wall and looks at Giles) The truth?", "Giles: (approaches her, waving his finger) No. You-you-you-you can't do that.", "Xander: Yeah. The more people who know the secret, the more it cheapens it for the rest of us.", "Buffy: But I've gotta tell her something. I've gotta do something. Giles, Angel has an all-access pass to my house, and I'm not always there when my mother is. I can't protect her.", "Giles: (flustered) I told you I will find a-a spell.", "Buffy: What about *until* you find a spell?", "Cordelia: Until then, you and your mother are welcome to ride around with me in my car.", "Giles: Buffy, I-I understand your concern, but it's imperative that you keep a level head through all this.", "Buffy: That's easy for you to say. You don't have Angel lurking in your bedroom at night.", "Giles: I know how hard this is for you. (gets a look from Buffy) All right, I don't. But as the Slayer, you don't have the luxury of being a slave to your, your passions. You mustn't let Angel get to you. No matter how provocative his behavior may become.", "Buffy: So what you're basically saying is, 'just ignore him, and maybe he'll go away'?", "Giles: (exhales) Yes. Precisely.", "Xander: Hey, how come Buffy doesn't get a snotty 'once again you boil it down to the simplest form' thing? Giles and Buffy both look over at him. He looks her up and down.", "Xander: Watcher's pet.", "Cut to Jenny's computer science class.", "Jenny: Don't forget, I need your sample spreadsheets by the end of the week. The bell rings, and she walks around behind her desk.", "Jenny: Oh, and I want both a paper printout and a copy on disk. Thank you. She looks down at her desk for a second, then back up and reaches her arm out to get Willow's attention before she goes.", "Jenny: Willow.", "Willow: (approaches the desk) Yes?", "Jenny: Um, I might be a little late tomorrow. Do you think you could cover my class till I show?", "Willow: (smiling brightly) Really? Me? Teach the class? Sure!", "Jenny: Cool.", "Willow: (suddenly worried) Oh, wait. W-what if they don't recognize my authority? What if they try to convince me that you always let them leave class early? What if there's a fire drill? What if there's a fire?", "Jenny: (reassuringly) Willow, you're gonna be fine. And I'll try not to be too late, okay?", "Willow: (calmer) Okay. Good. Earlier is good. (smiles) Will I have the power to assign detention? Or make 'em run laps? Buffy and Giles appear at the door.", "Buffy: Hey, Will. Jenny and Willow look over at her.", "Jenny: Hi, Buffy. Rupert. Giles looks down.", "Buffy: (ignoring Jenny) Willow, I thought I might take in a class. Figured I could use someone who knows where they are. Willow glances over at Jenny with her eyes and then starts to walk out of the classroom.", "Willow: (to Buffy) Sorry. I have to talk to her. She's a teacher, and teachers are to be respected, (they exit the room) even if they're only filling in until the real teacher shows up, because otherwise chaos could ensue... Giles has let the girls go, and now steps into the classroom. His hands are in his pockets.", "Jenny: How have you been?", "Giles: Uh, not so good, actually. Uh, since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy.", "Jenny: Well, that sounds bad. (crosses her arms)", "Giles: He's been in Buffy's bedroom. I-I-I need to drum up a spell to, uh, keep him out of the house. She reaches down to her desk and picks up an old book.", "Jenny: This might help. (hands it to Giles) I've been doing a little reading since Angel changed. (crosses her arms again) I don't think you have that one.", "Giles: Thank you. (leafs through it)", "Jenny: So, how's Buffy doing?", "Giles: (closes and lowers the book) How do you think?", "Jenny: (faces away) I know you feel betrayed.", "Giles: Yes. Well, that's one of the unpleasant side effects of betrayal.", "Jenny: (looks down at her desk) Rupert... I was raised by the people that Angel hurt the most. (looks up at Giles) My duty to them was the first thing I was ever taught. I didn't come here to hurt anyone, (looks away) a-and I lied to you because I thought it was the right thing to do. I... I didn't know what would happen. I didn't know I was gonna fall in love with you. She pauses for a moment before looking back up at Giles. They exchange a meaningful look, but then she looks away again.", "Jenny: Oh, God. Is it too late to take that back?", "Giles: Do you want to?", "Jenny: (looks at him) I just wanna be right with you. I don't expect more. I just want so badly to make all this up to you.", "Giles: I understand. But I'm not the one you need to make it up to. She looks at him, understanding. He gives her a little smile and raises the book.", "Giles: Thank you for the book. He turns and walks out of the room. She just watches him go.", "Cut to the dining room at Buffy's house. She and Joyce are having dinner. Buffy is just picking at her food. Joyce puts down her fork, folds her hands and leans forward on the table toward her daughter.", "Joyce: Okay. What's wrong?", "Buffy: (looks at her mom) It's nothing. (looks at her plate)", "Joyce: Come on. You can tell me anything. (Buffy eyes her) I've read all the parenting books. You cannot surprise me. Buffy puts down her fork, puts her hands in her lap and looks over at her mother.", "Buffy: Do you remember that guy Angel?", "Joyce: Angel, the, um... (thinks) the college boy who was tutoring you in history?", "Buffy: Right. Uh, he... I-I... (looks down and whispers) Oh, God. Um... (looks back up) We're sort of dating, *were* dating, um, going through a serious off-again phase right now.", "Joyce: (smiles) Don't tell me. He's changed. He's not the same guy you fell for?", "Buffy: (smiles nervously) In a nutshell. (loses the smile) A-anyway, um... since he changed, he's been kinda following me around. He's having trouble letting go.", "Joyce: (concerned) Buffy, has he done anything...", "Buffy: No! No, it's not like that. He's just been hanging around... a lot. Just sending me notes, that kind of thing. (gets a concerned look from Joyce) I just don't wanna see him right now. I mean, if he shows up, I'll talk to him. Just... don't invite him in.", "Cut to Willow's room. She's in her pajamas, walking around with her cordless phone to her ear.", "Willow: I agree with Giles. You need to just try and not let him get to you. (heads for her desk) Angel's only doing this to try to get you to do something stupid. (closes her laptop) I swear, men can be such jerks sometimes. Dead or alive. (goes to her new aquarium)", "Buffy: I just hope Giles can find a keep-out spell soon.", "Cut to Buffy sitting on her bed, also in pajamas, talking into her phone.", "Buffy: I know I'll sleep easier when I can... sleep easier.", "Cut to Willow sprinkling fish food into her tank.", "Willow: I'm sure he will. He's like book-man. (puts away the food) Until then, try and keep happy thoughts and... She sees something on her bed. Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: And what?", "Cut to Willow.", "Buffy: Willow? Willow holds the phone between her cheek and shoulder and reaches down for a blank envelope on her bed.", "Buffy: Willow? Willow turns back toward her aquarium. The camera follows her and pans around the tank for a shot of her through the fishless water. She opens the envelope and finds a string. She pulls on it, and out come her fish, strung together one after the other. Willow loses her grip on her phone and it falls to the floor.", "Cut to later in Buffy's room. She and Willow are sitting on her bed. Behind them is a string of garlic cloves hanging on the wall. Willow has a stake in her hand that she's fidgeting with nervously while she looks around.", "Willow: Thanks for having me over, Buffy. Especially on a school night and all.", "Buffy: No problem. Hey, sorry about your fish.", "Willow: Oh, it's okay. We hadn't really had time to bond yet. Although for the first time I'm glad my parents didn't let me have a puppy.", "Buffy: (stares into space) It's so weird... Every time something like this happens, my first instinct is still to run to Angel. I can't believe it's the same person. He's completely different from the guy that I knew. (looks at Willow)", "Willow: Well, sort of, except...", "Buffy: Except what?", "Willow: (looks at Buffy) You're still the only thing he thinks about. Buffy looks down at her hands.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. He's in his wheelchair in the foreground at the head of the table. Drusilla comes in behind him, holding a puppy behind her back.", "Drusilla: I brought something for you. (brings out the whining puppy) Poor thing. She's an orphan. (reaches Spike) Her owner died... (smiles at him) without a fight. Do you like her? (he looks at her) Hmm? (reaches her hand into his jacket and rubs his chest) I brought her especially for you... (pulls at his jacket) to cheer you up. (raises the puppy) And I've named her... (sweetly) Sunshine! (offers the puppy to Spike) Open wide. (he looks away) Come on, love. You need to eat something to keep your strength up. Now, (waves the puppy around) rrrrr, open up for mummy.", "Spike: I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru. (wheels around the table)", "Angelus: (comes in) Why not? She already bathes you, carries you around and changes you like a child.", "Drusilla: Why, Angel. (he smiles at her) Where have you been? The sun is almost up, and it can be so hurtful. (looks at Spike) We were worried.", "Spike: No, we weren't.", "Drusilla: You must forgive Spike. He's just a bit testy tonight. Doesn't get out much anymore.", "Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.", "Spike: Have you forgotten that you're a bloody guest in my bloody home?", "Angelus: (steps closer) And as a guest, (leans in) if there's anything I can do for you... Any... responsibility I can assume while you're spinning your wheels... (looks over at Drusilla) Anything I'm not already doing, that is.", "Spike: (shoves Angelus away angrily) That's enough! Angelus smiles widely and giggles.", "Drusilla: Aww... She leans down to Spike, gives him a peck on the cheek and puts the puppy in his lap. He holds the puppy as she steps away and goes around the table.", "Drusilla: You two boys... fightin' over me and all. (stops between two chairs) Makes a girl feel... Suddenly she looks up and moans loudly in apparent pain. Angelus steps over opposite her across the table, looking concerned.", "Spike: Dru, what is it, pet?", "Drusilla: (bent over in pain, breathing hard) The air. It worries. Someone... an old enemy is seeking help... (Angelus throws Spike a look) help to destroy our happy home. (leans against a chair) Ohhhh...", "Cut to a tarot shop. The camera pans across a display table with a skull in a covered glass bowl, a small gong hung between two horns, a pig fetus in formaldehyde, what looks like a large crab also in formaldehyde and another jar. A pricing gun waves into view and puts prices on the last two jars. The shopkeeper continues on to price other things. Cut outside. Jenny walks around the railing in front of the shop and takes the steps down to the entrance. Cut inside the shop. She comes in the door and looks around. The shopkeeper looks up from his work.", "Shopkeeper: (with a Rumanian accent) Welcome. How may I serve you today?", "Jenny: (faces him) Uh...", "Shopkeeper: Love potion? Perhaps a voodoo doll for that unfaithful...", "Jenny: (interrupts) I need an Orb of Thesulah.", "Shopkeeper: (drops the accent) Oh, you're in the trade. Sorry about the spiel, but around Valentine's Day, I get a lot of tourists shopping for love potions and mystical revenge of past lovers. (goes behind the sales counter) Sad fact is, Ouija boards and rabbits' feet, that's what pay the rent around here. (goes into the back) So how did you hear about us?", "Jenny: (checks out a few things) My Uncle Enyos told me about you.", "Shopkeeper: (looks out at her) So you're Janna, then. (she looks at him) Sorry to hear about your uncle.", "Jenny: Thank you.", "Shopkeeper: (comes back with a round wooden box) He was a good customer. Well, no, there you go. (sets it down and opens it) One Thesulan Orb. Spirit vault for the rituals of the undead. (Jenny reaches into her purse) I don't get many calls for those lately. (she pulls out her wallet) Sold a couple as new age paperweights last year. (she hands him a credit card) Yeah, I just love those new-agers, boy. They helped to (imprints the card) send my youngest to college. (fills in the form) By the way, you do know that the transliteration annals for the ritual of the undead were lost. (hands her the form and a pen) Without the annals, the surviving text is gibberish.", "Jenny: And without a translated text, the Orbs of Thesulah are pretty much useless. (signs) Yeah, I know. (hands him his copy)", "Shopkeeper: Well, I only mention it because I have a strict policy of no refunds. (puts the lid on the box)", "Jenny: It's okay. I'm working on a computer program to translate the Rumanian liturgy to English based on a random sampling of the text.", "Shopkeeper: Yecchh. I don't like computers. They give me the willies.", "Jenny: Well, (takes the box) thank you.", "Shopkeeper: You're welcome. She takes the lid off of the box as she slowly walks toward the door.", "Shopkeeper: By the way... (she looks back) Not that it's any of my business, really, but, uh, what are you planning on conjuring up? If you can decipher the text?", "Jenny: A present for a friend of mine. (lifts the Orb)", "Shopkeeper: Really? What are you gonna give him? She looks into the Orb and it begins to glow.", "Jenny: His soul. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. Willow and Buffy are chatting as they walk along the sidewalk and then up the steps.", "Buffy: We'll be in hiding, probably... (inaudible)", "Willow: (inaudible)", "Buffy: Siberia.", "Xander: (jumps up behind them) Well, good morning, ladies. And what did you two do last night?", "Willow: We had kind of a 'pajama party sleepover with weapons' thing.", "Xander: Oh. And I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment.", "Willow: I have to go. I have a class to teach in about five minutes, and I have to arrive early to glare disapprovingly at the stragglers. (sees Jenny arriving) Oh, darn. She's here. (walks off) Five hours of lesson planning yesterday down the drain...", "Buffy: (sees Jenny, too) You know what? I'll see you in class. She leaves Xander, jogs up to Jenny and gets in front of her.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Jenny: Hi. Buffy looks at Jenny a moment, then averts her eyes.", "Jenny: Uh, is there something that... Did you want something?", "Buffy: Look... I know you feel badly about what happened, and I just wanted to say... Jenny looks at her expectantly.", "Buffy: Good. Keep it up.", "Jenny: (not surprised) Don't worry, I will.", "Buffy: (holds up her hand) Oh, wait. Um... (looks at her) He misses you. He doesn't say anything, I mean, but I know he does. And I don't want him to be lonely. I don't want anyone to.", "Jenny: Buffy, you know that if I have a chance to make this up...", "Buffy: (interrupts) We're... good here. Let's just leave it. She walks away. Jenny watches her go.", "Cut to the lounge. Giles is talking with a couple of students while searching through his briefcase for some flyers.", "Giles: I put it here somewhere. (finds the flyers) Oh, yes, yes. That's it. (hands the flyers to the students) Could you, um, hang those up? (the students nod) Thank you. (sees Buffy arrive) Buffy. So, uh, so how was your night?", "Buffy: Sleepless, but no human fatalities. Cordelia comes up to them.", "Giles: I-I found a ritual to revoke the invitation to vampires.", "Cordelia: Oh, thank goodness. I actually had to talk my grandmother into switching cars with me last night.", "Giles: Um, the-the-the, uh, the ritual's fairly basic, actually. It's just the recitation of a few rhyming couplets, burning of, uh, moss herbs, sprinkling of holy water... (turns down the hall)", "Buffy: (starts to follow) All stuff I have in my house.", "Giles: Hanging of crosses...", "Cut to Willow's room. She nails a cross next to her French doors and pulls the curtain over to hide it.", "Willow: I'm gonna have a hard time explaining this to my dad.", "Buffy: You really think it'll bother him?", "Willow: Ira Rosenberg's only daughter nailing crucifixes to her bedroom wall? I have to go over to Xander's house just to watch 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' every year.", "Buffy: I see your point. They go to her bed. Cordelia is looking at Willow's aquarium.", "Willow: Although it is worthwhile to see him do the Snoopy Dance. (puts down the hammer)", "Cordelia: Willow, (faces them, arms crossed) are you aware that there are no fish in your aquarium? Willow frowns and whines.", "Buffy: You know, Cordelia, we've already done your car. Call it a night if you want.", "Cordelia: Right. Thanks. And you know I'd do the same for you if you had a social life. She picks her coat up from Willow's bed and sees a blank envelope there.", "Cordelia: Oh. (picks it up) This must be for you. She hands the envelope to Willow. Willow gives Buffy a worried glance and opens it. When she sees what's in it she hands it to Buffy.", "Willow: It's for you. Buffy unfolds the paper and sees a pencil sketch of her mother sleeping.", "Buffy: Mom.", "Cut to Joyce driving home in her Jeep. Cut to a view of her from the lawn nearing the house. As she turns into the driveway the camera pulls back, and Angelus' legs come into view. Joyce sees him as she pulls to a stop and turns off the engine. He approaches her open car window.", "Angelus: Mrs. Summers, I need to talk to you.", "Joyce: (gets out with a bag of groceries) You're Angel.", "Angelus: (pushes the door closed) Did Buffy tell you about us?", "Joyce: She told me she wants you to leave her alone.", "Angelus: I-I can't. I can't do that.", "Joyce: You're scaring her.", "Angelus: You have to help me. (she starts toward the house) Joyce... (follows her) I need, I need to be with her. Y-you can convince her. You have to convince her.", "Joyce: Look, (Angelus gets in front of her) I'm telling you to leave her alone.", "Angelus: You have to talk to her for me, Joyce. Tell her I need her.", "Joyce: (goes around him) Please, look, I-I just wanna get inside, okay? She lets go of her bag with one hand and rummages in her purse for her keys, but she can't keep her grip on the bag, and it falls. Several oranges roll out and around. Angelus rights the bag and scrambles to pick a few of the oranges up.", "Angelus: You don't understand, Joyce. (she finds her keys) I'll die without Buffy. She'll die without me.", "Joyce: Are you threatening her?", "Angelus: Please... Why is she doing this to me?", "Joyce: I'm calling the police now. She forgets the grocery bag and goes to the door. There she fumbles with her keys, trying to find the right one. Angelus comes up next to her. She finally gets the key in the door.", "Angelus: I haven't been able to sleep since the night we made love. Joyce looks up at him in surprise.", "Angelus: I need her. I know you understand.", "Joyce: (opens the door) Just leave us alone. (rushes in) Cut inside. He tries to follow, but comes up against an invisible barrier. Buffy and Willow come down the stairs. Willow reads a Latin verse from a book.", "Willow: 'Hicce verbis consensus rescissus est.'", "Translation: By these strong unanimous words [Angelus' permission to enter] is rescinded.", "Buffy: (comes up to him) Sorry, Angel. Changed the locks. (slams the door in his face)", "Cut to Jenny's classroom. She's at her desk working on the translation program. She takes a sip of coffee from her mug and sets it back down. She types a few keystrokes, then stares at the screen. Behind her Giles appears and stands in the doorway.", "Giles: Hello. She startles and looks at him. Quickly she types a few keystrokes, and the screen changes. She turns back to him.", "Jenny: Oh! Hi.", "Giles: (steps into the room) You're working late.", "Jenny: Special project.", "Giles: Oh.", "Jenny: I spoke to Buffy today.", "Giles: Oh! Yes? (sits on her desk)", "Jenny: Mm. (looks away) She said you missed me. (plays with a pencil)", "Giles: Well, uh, she's... a meddlesome girl.", "Jenny: (looks at him) Rupert... Okay, I don't wanna say anything if I'm wrong, but I may have some news. Now, I need to finish up here. Could I see you later?", "Giles: Y-yes, yes. You could stop by my house.", "Jenny: Okay. (smiles)", "Giles: (smiles and gets up) Good. (smiles wider, then goes) Jenny turns her attention back to her computer.", "Cut to the tarot shop. The Shopkeeper turns out the light by the front entrance and heads toward the back. A woman holding a puppy opens the door and steps in.", "Shopkeeper: Sorry, honey. (blows out some candles) We're closed. He looks up and sees Drusilla standing there.", "Shopkeeper: (nervous) W... What do you want?", "Drusilla: (looks at the puppy) Miss Sunshine here tells me you had a visit today. (stares up) But she worries. (looks at the shopkeeper) She wants to know what you and the mean teacher talked about.", "Cut to later in Jenny's classroom. She's still working at her computer. She taps a few keys, then looks up at the screen. A percent complete window appears over the Rumanian text, and the bar zips across it.", "Jenny: Come on, come on... The bar disappears, and a translation scrolls up next to the original text.", "Jenny: That's it! (exhales and smiles) It's gonna work! (saves the result) This... will work. She pops out an unlabeled yellow floppy disk and sets it aside by some books near the edge of her desk. In the mean time a hardcopy has started to print out. She wheels her chair over to the printer and looks it over. She looks up and sees Angelus sitting in a desk at the back of the class. She gasps and jumps out of her seat.", "Jenny: Angel... (slowly moves toward the door) How did you get in here?", "Angelus: I was invited. The sign in front of the school... 'Formatia trans sicere educatorum.'", "Jenny: 'Enter all ye who seek knowledge.'", "Angelus: (giggles and gets up) What can I say? I'm a knowledge seeker.", "(comes toward her)", "Jenny: (frightened) Angel, I-I-I've got good news.", "Angelus: I heard. You went shopping at the local boogedy-boogedy store.", "(sees the Orb on her desk and picks it up) The Orb of Thesulah. If memory serves, this is supposed to summon a person's soul... from the ether... store it until it can be transferred. The Orb begins to glow as he looks into it. He glances up at Jenny for an instant. She edges away from him.", "Angelus: You know what I hate most about these things? Jenny screams as he heaves it into the chalkboard behind her. It shatters into hundreds of pieces and a lot of dust.", "Angelus: (smiles) They're so damn fragile. (loses the smile) Must be that shoddy gypsy craftsmanship, huh? Jenny has backed into the wall and trembles with fear. She starts to inch her way toward the door. Angelus reaches over to the PC and turns the monitor so he can see it.", "Angelus: I never cease to be amazed how much the world has changed in just two and a half centuries. Jenny has reached the door and tries to open it. It's locked. He turns the monitor back around.", "Angelus: It's a miracle to me. You, you put the secrets to restoring my soul in here... He shoves the computer off her of desk and onto the floor. It breaks, and the monitor shatters and sparks and starts to burn. Angelus tears the printout from the printer.", "Angelus: It comes out here. (looks at the paper) 'The Ritual of Restoration.' Wow. This, this brings back memories. He starts to tear the printout in half.", "Jenny: Wait. That's your...", "Angelus: Oh, my cure? (finishes tearing) No, thanks. Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be. (sees the fire) My... Isn't this my lucky day. The computer... (holds the paper over the flames) and the pages. (warms his hands) Looks like I get to kill two birds with one stone. He crouches over the fire to warm himself more. Jenny starts toward the back door. Angelus looks back up at her sporting his game face.", "Angelus: And teacher makes three. She starts to run for it, but Angelus roars and quickly jumps and grabs hold of her.", "Jenny: No! He throws her back into the locked door, and it breaks open. She looks back at him, scrambles to her feet and begins to run.", "Angelus: Oh, good. I need to work up an appetite first.", "Cut to the halls. Jenny comes running, opens the door to the lounge area and runs to another set of door to outside, but they are locked. She runs back into the lounge, sees Angelus coming and runs further down the hall. Angelus pulls open the doors and follows her at a fast walk. Cut outside to another hall exit. Jenny bursts through the door and runs along the colonnade. Angelus is not far behind, and continues after her at a quick pace. Soon he starts to run as well. Jenny keeps running, checking behind her every so often. She reaches the next building and struggles with the door. She looks back and sees Angelus running toward her with an evil grin on his face. She yanks hard at the door several more times before it opens, and she runs in. Cut inside the hall. Jenny pulls the door closed behind her and Angelus slams into it. She starts to run down the hall. Angelus has to yank at the door a couple of times before it opens for him, too, and he runs in after her. A cleaning cart is in the hall by the stairs, and Jenny grabs it and pushes it into Angelus. He slams into it and flies over it and onto the floor while she rushes up the steps.", "Cut to a view down the stairs from above. Jenny runs up and out of view. Angelus isn't on the floor below anymore. He's nowhere to be seen.", "Cut to a landing by a large arched window. Jenny runs up onto it and right into a waiting Angelus. She screams when he grabs hold of her. He chuckles and looks into her face. He puts one hand around behind her head and touches her lips with the fingers of his other. The view out of the window is of the park beyond with the palm trees lit up. A car drives by.", "Angelus: Sorry, Jenny, this is where you get off. He takes his fingers from her lips and puts his hand under her chin. In one swift movement he twists her head and snaps her neck. Her body collapses to the floor. He looks up and around, breathing heavily from the running and the excitement.", "Angelus: Ah... I never get tired of doing that.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's house. Giles steps up to the door and knocks. Willow comes to the door and opens it.", "Giles: Willow, good evening. (steps in)", "Willow: Hi. Come on in. (closes the door, hands him the book) Here's the book.", "Giles: Right. (looks the book over) I guess I should do my apartment tonight. (looks up) The ritual go all right?", "Willow: Oh, yeah. It went fine. Well, it went fine until Angel showed up and told Buffy's mom that he and Buffy had... (nervously) Well, you know, that they had... you know. You do know, right?", "Giles: Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.", "Willow: (relieved) Oh, good, 'cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn't know.", "Giles: Oh, thank you. I got it.", "Willow: You would have been proud of her, though. She totally kept her cool. (smiles) There is an awkward moment of silence.", "Willow: Okay, well, I'll tell Buffy you stopped by. (smiles)", "Giles: (looks up the stairs) Would you, um... Perhaps I should intervene on, on Buffy's behalf w-w-with her mother. Um, maybe... say something?", "Willow: Sure! Like, what would you say?", "Giles: (looks up the stairs again) W... Uh... She reaches for the doorknob and opens it.", "Giles: You will tell Buffy I dropped by? (goes out)", "Willow: You bet. (closes the door)", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's sitting on her bed. Joyce is pacing, trying to take in what she's hearing.", "Buffy: That stuff with the Latins and the herbs, uh, he's just real superstitious.", "Joyce: (sits with her eyes closed) Oh.", "Buffy: We just thought if...", "Joyce: Was he the first? (opens her eyes) No, wait. (stands up) I don't wanna know. (paces) I don't think I want to.", "Buffy: Yeah. He was the first. I mean, the only.", "Joyce: (stops and looks at her daughter) He's older than you.", "Buffy: I know.", "Joyce: Too old, Buffy. And he's obviously not very stable. I really wish... (sits again) I just thought you would show more judgment.", "Buffy: (looks at her mother) He wasn't like this before.", "Joyce: Are you in love with him?", "Buffy: I was.", "Joyce: Were you careful?", "Buffy: (looks away) Mom, this is no time...", "Joyce: (gets up again) Don't 'Mom' me, Buffy. You don't get to get out of this. You had s*x with a boy you *didn't* even see fit to tell me you were dating.", "Buffy: (nods) I made a mistake.", "Joyce: Yeah, well, don't just say that to shut me up, because I think you really did.", "Buffy: I know that! (looks up at her) I-I can't tell you everything.", "Joyce: How about anything? Buffy, you can shut me out of your life, I am pretty much used to that. But don't expect me to ever stop caring about you, because it's never gonna happen. I love you more than anything in the world. (sits next to Buffy on the bed) That would be your cue to, uh, roll your eyes and tell me I'm grossing you out.", "Buffy: You're not.", "Joyce: (inhales) Oh, well... (exhales) I guess that was the talk.", "Buffy: So how'd it go? They look at each other.", "Joyce: I don't know. It was my first.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He arrives at his door looking at his keys. He looks up and sees a red rose on the door and can hear the music of the opera \"La Boheme\", by Puccini, coming from inside. He takes the rose, inhales its aroma and smiles. He opens his door and goes in. Cut inside. Giles pokes his head in.", "Giles: Hello? He sees no one there, so he steps in and closes the door behind him.", "Giles: Jenny? He puts his briefcase aside and steps over to his coat rack.", "Giles: It's me! He takes off his coat and hangs it up. He looks around again and sees a chilled bottle of champagne and two long-stemmed glasses on his desk. On top of the crystal ice bucket is a folded piece of paper leaning against the bottle. He sets down his keys and the rose and takes the note. He unfolds it and on it is one word: Upstairs. He smiles and looks up toward the loft. He takes off his glasses and sets them and the paper down. He runs his fingers through his hair, takes the bottle, looks at it, takes the two glasses and starts up the stairs. The opera music gets louder as he nears the loft. The camera follows his footsteps as he climbs the stairs. There is a rose on each step. When he reaches the top he is smiling. He sees Jenny on the bed, but she isn't moving, and his smile quickly fades. The opera reaches a crescendo as he drops the bottle and glasses, and they shatter on the floor. He continues to look at Jenny's body. Her dead eyes stare back at him.", "Cut to later. Giles is leaning on the wall by his front door staring blankly into space. The coroners take Jenny's body away. A police officer approaches him.", "Officer: Mr. Giles, I need to ask you to come with us. Just to answer a few questions.", "Giles: (still staring blankly) Of course. Yes. Procedure. (looks at the officer) I need to make a phone call... if that's all right. The officer looks over at the phone and back at him, giving him tacit permission.", "Giles: (whispers) Yes. (goes to the phone)", "Cut to Buffy's house. Angelus is looking into the dining room through the window from the porch. Buffy and Willow walk through it and into the living room.", "Angelus: (narrates) Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. The telephone rings, and Buffy runs back into the dining room to get it. She picks it up from the phone stand and turns so Angelus can see her face.", "Buffy: Hello. Giles, hey! We did the, the thing. It worked. What? As she listens to Giles her expression becomes increasingly blank. She lowers the phone from her ear. Willow is there now, too, and takes the phone from Buffy.", "Willow: Giles? Buffy leans against the wall and slides down against it into a crouch.", "Willow: What? No! (puts the phone down) No! (begins to cry uncontrollably) Noooo! Angelus gloats as he looks into the window. Joyce comes into the dining room when she hears the crying and holds Willow. Buffy looks off into space, then finally lowers her head onto her knees. Angelus smiles and leaves.", "Cut to later. Cordelia and Xander drive up to Buffy and Willow, who are waiting for them. Xander opens the passenger door and gets out.", "Buffy: Where's Giles?", "Xander: No luck. By the time we got to the station, (closes the door) the cops said he'd already left. (Cordelia closes her door) I guess they just wanted to ask him some questions.", "Buffy: Cordelia, will you drive us to Giles' house?", "Cordelia: Of course.", "Willow: But don't you think he wants to be left alone?", "Buffy: I'm not worrying about what he wants. I'm worried about what he's gonna do. They all get into the car.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. The camera sweeps down the stairs. The roses have all been trampled and broken. The camera turns the corner of the staircase and sweeps across the area below. Giles' weapons chest is open and almost empty. He walks across the camera's path, drawing a sword. The camera continues around the room, over to his old Victrola, where the opera record has played out but is still spinning. The camera pulls back past the desk where Giles has a large bag sitting open with various weapons stashed inside. He adds a small can of gasoline, grabs the bag and heads out of the apartment. The camera closes in on the desk and pans down to a pencil sketch of Jenny lying dead on the bed. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' apartment. Xander pushes the door open. A piece of yellow crime scene tape is stretched across the doorway.", "Xander: Hello? Giles? He ducks under the tape and comes in. Willow and the others follow. Xander goes over to the desk and looks around.", "Xander: I guess Giles had a big night planned tonight.", "Buffy: (picks up the sketch of Jenny) Giles didn't set this up. Angel did. (hands Xander the sketch) This is the wrapping for the gift. (heads upstairs)", "Xander: Oh, man. (exhales) Poor Giles. Willow finds the nearly empty weapons chest.", "Willow: Look, all his weapons are gone.", "Cordelia: But I thought he kept his weapons at the library.", "Xander: No, those are his, uh, everyday weapons. These were his good weapons. The ones he, uh, breaks out when company comes to visit. Buffy comes back downstairs and stops on the corner landing.", "Willow: So he's not here.", "Cordelia: Well, then where is he?", "Buffy: He'll go to wherever Angel is. Xander turns to face the girls.", "Willow: That means the factory, right?", "Cordelia: So Giles is gonna try to kill Angel then?", "Xander: Well, it's about time somebody did.", "Willow: Xander!", "Xander: I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying 'I told you so' long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the, uh, (looks up at Buffy) fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, 'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!' (looks back at Willow and Cordelia)", "Buffy: You're right. Willow and Cordelia look up at Buffy.", "Xander: Thank you.", "Buffy: (takes the rest of the steps down) There's only one thing wrong with Giles' little revenge scenario.", "Xander: And what's that?", "Buffy: It's gonna get him killed.", "Cut to Spike's warehouse. Angelus is being lectured.", "Spike: Are you insane?! We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in the friends' beds.", "Drusilla: (cuddles her puppy) But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul.", "Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. (gets a look from Angelus) I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer!", "Angelus: Don't worry, roller boy. I've got everything under control. A Molotov cocktail swooshes in and bursts on the table, setting it ablaze. Drusilla runs away with Spike wheeling right behind her. They stop out of reach of the flames. Angelus cuts across at the end of the table and gets hit in the shoulder with a crossbow bolt. He grabs it to pull it out while looking to see who his attacker is. Giles walks toward him with a baseball bat. Angelus pulls the bolt out and throws it aside. Giles puts the end of the bat into the flames, and it catches fire. He swings it and hits Angelus in the face, then again on the return swing. Angelus staggers and bends down.", "Angelus: Jeez, whatever happened to wooden stakes? Giles whales on Angelus' back several times. Drusilla makes a move to intervene, but is held back by Spike.", "Spike: Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first. Angelus stands back up, but Giles swings the bat into his face twice again, making him fall once more. He continues beating on him, making Angelus collapse all the way to the floor. Angelus tries to get up, but Giles swings into his jaw from underneath. He wields the still burning bat over his head, but as he brings it down Angelus catches it, and they begin to struggle. Angelus quickly gains the upper hand, and takes Giles by the throat, lifting him off of his feet. He drops the bat.", "Angelus: All right. You've had your fun. But you know what it's time for now? He gets kicked in the back by Buffy and lets Giles fall to the floor. She pulls him back and slams him into the spiral staircase.", "Buffy: My fun. She kicks him in the face and then shoves him onto the floor. Drusilla quickly wheels Spike away. Buffy kicks Angelus in the face again as he tries to get up, and then lunges at him. He grabs her, flips her over and tries to get away up the stairs. Buffy gets back to her feet fast with Giles' dropped baseball bat in hand and pushes it between the stair railings to trip Angelus up. He falls and she grabs one of his legs. He kicks out at her with it and knocks her off of him and onto the floor. He scrambles up the stairs. Buffy gets up quickly. She sees a stack of crates, runs up it to the catwalk above, and meets Angelus there. He swings at her, but she ducks and kicks him in the back of the knee, making him collapse onto the railing. She grabs a loop of rope, throws it around his neck and yanks him back and forth between the railings several times, then kicks him in the chest, making him stagger back and fall onto his butt. He gets up fast, but she grabs onto a pipe above her head and swings with both feet into his chest again, making him fly back into a barrel and some ducting. She waits on the catwalk for him to come at her again, ready to fight. He charges, and she takes him and diverts him past her and onto the catwalk grating, where he lands with his head against one of the vertical railing bars. She kicks his face, and follows up with several punches and another kick. He starts to laugh as she grabs him by the coat and bangs his head into the railing a couple of times.", "Angelus: Are you gonna let your old man just burn? She looks down and sees the flames getting higher and nearer to Giles. Angelus takes advantage of the distraction and grabs her legs, lifts her and throws her over the railing. She manages to control her fall and land on her feet near Giles. Angelus takes off down the catwalk and out of the building. Buffy wakes Giles and gets him to his feet, and she supports him as they make their way from the building also. Cut outside. They both come out coughing from the smoke. He pushes her away from him.", "Giles: Why did you come here?! This wasn't your fight! She punches him in the jaw, and he spins and falls to the pavement.", "Buffy: Are you trying to get yourself killed?! She begins to cry and crouches down to hug him. He cries and hugs her back.", "Buffy: You can't leave me. I can't do this alone.", "Cut to Giles' apartment building. Cut to his door, still with the crime scene tape across it.", "Angelus: (narrates) It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. Giles tears the tape from his doorway and just stares at it for several seconds.", "Angelus: (narrates) If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Giles enters his apartment.", "Angelus: (narrates) Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...", "Cut to the cemetery. The camera pans across a small pond.", "Angelus: (narrates) Without passion, we'd be truly dead. The camera pans past Jenny's gravestone. Giles kneels down and lays some flowers on her grave. He looks at her name on the headstone for a moment before standing back up. Buffy is there next to him.", "Giles: In my years as... Watcher... I've buried... too many people. But Jenny was the first I've loved.", "Buffy: (looks up at him) I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't kill him for you... (looks down at the grave) for her... when I had the chance.", "Cut to a shot of the gravestone. It reads just 'Jennifer Calendar'.", "Buffy: I wasn't ready.", "Cut to Jenny's classroom. The students all wait at their desks for the teacher to arrive. Willow walks in and stands at the front of the room.", "Buffy: (voiceover) But I think I finally am.", "Willow: Hi. Principal Snyder asked me to fill in for Ms. Calendar... u- until the new computer science teacher arrives. So I'm just gonna stick to the lesson plan she left. She walks around to the front of the desk and looks over the books and things that are there.", "Buffy: (narrates) I can't hold on to the past anymore. Angel has gone. Nothing's ever gonna bring him back. Willow puts down her own books, and in the process nudges a few books aside a little. As a result the yellow disk that Jenny had set next to the books gets pushed off of the edge. It falls between the desk and the small filing cabinet next to it. It hits the floor and spins around a few times before coming to rest leaning against the side of the cabinet." ]

[ "After flu lands Buffy in the hospital, she rescues fevered children from Der Kindestod , a nightmare demon invisible to healthy people. When getting well means losing her ability to fight the demon, Buffy reinfects herself. In saving the other children, she also avenges her young cousin and puts her own hospital phobia to rest." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery. The camera closes in on the top of the perimeter wall. A pair of hands hook over the top, and Buffy pulls herself up. She coughs while she pulls her legs over. She jumps down the other side. When she hits the ground she can't keep her balance, and has to use her hands to keep from toppling over. She breathes heavily through her mouth because her nose is stuffed up. Every now and then she sniffles. She pulls a stake out of her jacket. She puts her hand on her forehead and moans as she stands up. Slowly she starts to make her way across the graveyard.", "Cut to in front of her. The camera follows her as she walks, still sniffling and rubbing her nose. She senses something and tries to concentrate while she slowly approaches a small mausoleum. She raises her stake and jumps around the corner, swinging it to strike at whatever's there. Xander screams and reflexively jumps back, holding on tightly to his own stake. Cordelia lets out a high-pitched scream behind him. Willow is there, too, and the girls both reflexively hold up crosses at Buffy.", "Buffy: Non-vampire. Plus two.", "Willow: (sternly as she puts her cross away) Hi. They all step out into the open.", "Xander: Man, Buffy! My whole life just flashed before my eyes! (glances over at Willow) I gotta get me a life!", "Buffy: What are you doing here?", "Willow: What are *you* doing here?", "Buffy: Well, I'm patrolling!", "Willow: (concerned) Buffy, you're sick.", "Buffy: No, I feel fine. I mean, I'm... the world's spinning a little bit, but I like it, it's kinda like a ride.", "Cordelia: Half the school's out with this flu. It's a serious deal, Buffy. We're all concerned about how gross you look.", "Buffy: (with a hint of sarcasm) I'm touched. Really. But I have work to do.", "Willow: Buffy, come on, one night of rest is not gonna kill you.", "Buffy: No, but it might kill somebody else.", "Xander: (points at her with his stake) You mean Angel might. (Buffy turns away) Buffy, this is not the time to challenge Angel for the ultimate fighting championship. (gestures with his stake) He's at full strength, you're only half a Slayer.", "Buffy: Yeah, but I'm still the Slayer. And as long as I am, Angel's not gonna kill anybody else.", "Angelus: (behind her) Aw, c'mon. (she turns to face him) Just one more. He attacks, and the girls scream. He runs right past Buffy straight for Cordelia and tackles her to the ground. Buffy grabs him by the back of his coat and pulls him off of her. She turns him around, takes him by the coat collar and swings at him with her stake. He blocks her with his arm, grabs hers and makes her drop the stake.", "Angelus: Not feeling well, lover? Buffy looks up at him and punches him in the jaw. He glares back at her and tries to kick her, but she grabs his foot and shoves his leg up, making him fall hard onto his back.", "Buffy: That helps. Angelus scrambles to all fours. She comes at him from behind and tries to kick him, but he kicks out with his leg into her chest, and she staggers back a ways until she regains her balance. He gets up and comes toward her. She takes a couple of swings at him, but he evades them easily. He blocks a third, grabs her arm and takes her by the throat.", "Angelus: You know, you being off your game's kinda takin' the fun out of all this. He punches her in the face, and she stumbles backward again.", "Angelus: Nope, still fun! He punches her in the gut, then grabs her by the neck and shoves her around and into a corner column of the small mausoleum. She is dazed and tries to regain her balance, but doesn't get a chance because Angelus wastes no time punching her in the face and knocking her flat on her back. He gets on top of her and pins her arms down.", "Angelus: Uh-oh. This does *not* look good for our heroine. He starts to bend down to bite her, but just then Willow throws Xander's jacket over Angelus' head. As she backs away, Xander grabs his head under the jacket, punches him and knees him twice in the face. Angelus falls over onto his back. Willow and Cordelia pull out their crosses and hold them out at him as he gets up, and he has to back off.", "Xander: Take a walk, overbite. Buffy gets to her feet. Angelus slowly backs away.", "Angelus: We'll have to do this again sometime. He turns and walks off. Buffy just watches him go.", "Xander: Buffy, are you okay?", "Buffy: (puts her hand to her forehead) I told you guys to leave, I... (getting dizzy) I... Oh... She falls to the ground unconscious.", "Xander: Buffy! Willow and Cordelia turn to look.", "Willow: Buffy? Xander kneels next to her and looks at the fallen Slayer. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Sunnydale Hospital Emergency Room. The camera pans from an empty gurney past the admissions desk and over to the entrance. Xander rushes in with Buffy in his arms. Willow and Cordelia are right behind him.", "Xander: We need help!", "Willow: Somebody, please, now!", "Intern: (approaches them) What happened? They all speak at once.", "Xander: She fell.", "Willow: The flu.", "Cordelia: She fainted. A nurse brings over the gurney.", "Xander: The flu, fainted and fell. She's sick, make it better!", "Intern: (pulls the gurney up) It's gonna be okay. Let's get her up. Xander lays Buffy out on the gurney. The intern takes out his pocket light and checks Buffy's eyes for a response. The nurse takes notes while he speaks as they start to wheel her into the emergency room. They all follow.", "Intern: Patient's unconscious... Pupils are unequal and unresponsive.", "Cordelia: What does that mean?", "Willow: Is she gonna be okay?", "Intern: Please, you gotta give us some room.", "Dr. Wilkinson: (arrives) What do we have?", "Intern: High-grade fever, possible fractures.", "Dr. Wilkinson: Get her into Trauma 1, give her a CBC, Chem 7, type and screen.", "Intern: Right. The Intern and nurse take her through the doors to the emergency room beyond. They all try to follow, but Dr. Wilkinson blocks their way.", "Dr. Wilkinson: I'm sorry, you can't go any further.", "Xander: Someone should be with her!", "Dr. Wilkinson: I'm sorry! You can't go any further. She backs in and closes the door in their faces. They look through windows for a couple of seconds. Willow reacts first.", "Willow: I'll call Giles, tell him what happened. (to Cordelia) You call Buffy's mom, tell her, n-not what happened, just get her here. The two of them go to find the phones. Xander keeps looking in through the emergency room door, where he can see the doctor and intern still working on Buffy. He looks away as they wheel Buffy into Trauma 1.", "Cut to later. Cordelia, Xander and Willow are sitting on a row of chairs in the waiting room with worried looks on their faces. The camera pans over to the door where Giles is also waiting and nervously cleaning his glasses. The camera continues to pan over to the elevator. The door opens and Joyce comes out. She sees them sitting there.", "Joyce: Where is she? They all get up. Giles comes over also.", "Giles: She's still in the emergency room.", "Joyce: I wanna see her. (starts out of the waiting room)", "Cordelia: They won't let us in there. Joyce stops and looks back at her. Just then Dr. Wilkinson comes to the door.", "Dr. Wilkinson: Mrs. Summers?", "Joyce: (faces her) Yes?", "Dr. Wilkinson: I'm Dr. Wilkinson.", "Joyce: Is Buffy okay?", "Dr. Wilkinson: We were able to stabilize and...", "Joyce: (interrupts insistently) Is she okay?", "Dr. Wilkinson: (reassuringly) She's going to be fine.", "Joyce: (with relief) Thank you. (puts her hand to her face)", "Xander: Good. Good. (rubs his hands) That's good.", "Dr. Wilkinson: I wanna keep her here a few days, though. She still has some healing to do. Giles and Joyce look at her anxiously.", "Cut to a hall upstairs near Buffy's assigned hospital room. They are all waiting for her to be brought up. When they see her coming they all approach the bed. She has an IV in her right hand. Her left forearm is wrapped in an elastic bandage.", "Joyce: Buffy? (reaches the bed) Hi, sweetheart. They all accompany her toward her room.", "Xander: Hey, Buffy, we're all here.", "Buffy: (groggy) Hey. Here we are. It's all of we. Are we taking me home? (tries to get up)", "Dr. Wilkinson: (pushes her back) No. Buffy, you need to lie down, honey.", "Buffy: (groggy) Yeah? Lie at home. My bed is better than any bed that's... not my bed.", "Dr. Wilkinson: (looks at Joyce) She's still a little out of it. Joyce nods back.", "Buffy: (to Xander) Shhh! (points at him) Hospital zone. No singing.", "Dr. Wilkinson: She'll feel better after (Buffy looks at her) she's been here a while.", "Buffy: No! (tries to get up again) Lemme go. Look, I wanna go. The orderly pushing the bed, two nurses and Dr. Wilkinson struggle to get her to lie back down. Buffy puts up a fight.", "Willow: Buffy, what's wrong?", "Buffy: No! No! Let me go!", "Cordelia: I think she wants to go. They manage to get her pushed back down on the bed.", "Buffy: No, don't do that! Stop it!", "Dr. Wilkinson: Hold her steady!", "Buffy: (delirious) Giles, tell them!", "Orderly: I got her.", "Buffy: The vampires! I need to kill the vampires!", "Dr. Wilkinson: This'll help you relax. She puts a needle against Buffy's inside elbow and injects her with a sedative. Xander throws Giles a concerned look. Cordelia cringes and looks away.", "Buffy: Ow! (winces in pain) No! When the doctor pulls the needle back out she lies back and breathes heavily.", "Xander: It's gotta be the fever.", "Willow: Yeah, it made her delusional.", "Buffy: (to Giles insistently) They're out there!", "Giles: (smiling reassuringly) Yes, uh, well, we'll, uh, we'll get those, uh, vampires later. (laughs lightly, looks at Joyce) I hear it's best t-to play along. (keeps smiling) The sedative takes effect and Buffy begins to relax. One of the nurses checks her IV. Her mother leans in and strokes her hair.", "Joyce: Honey, listen...", "Buffy: I wanna go home.", "Joyce: It's gonna be okay. I promise. They start to wheel her away again.", "Buffy: Please don't make me stay here...", "Joyce: I *promise*. They all follow as Buffy is taken to her room. They wait outside. The door closes and Xander looks in through the narrow window. After a moment he looks over at Giles.", "Xander: That was a new experience. I'm not used to seeing Buffy scared like that.", "Joyce: Yeah, she just *hates* hospitals. Ever since she was a little girl.", "Willow: What happened?", "Joyce: When she was eight her cousin Celia died in a hospital. Buffy was alone with her at the time.", "Cordelia: Yuk!", "Joyce: Yeah, they were very close.", "Willow: Wow, and she was eight?", "Joyce: (looking in at Buffy) Well, it looks like she's asleep. I should go call her father. (heads toward the nurse's station)", "Giles: (accompanies her) Um, I-I think there's a, a phone... The camera follows them.", "Joyce: Thank you for coming. I-I *really* appreciate the way you look out for her.", "Giles: Oh...", "Joyce: *All* of you.", "Giles: Well, we're, uh, we're very fond of her. (they stop at the nurse's station) The, uh, the telephone. (starts away)", "Joyce: I, I... (stops him) I hope I'm not out of line, but... I-I-I wanted to say how sorry I am about, uh, that teacher, Ms. Calendar. Buffy said you were close.", "Giles: (nods slightly) Oh, uh... (looks down) Thank you. (looks up)", "Joyce: (exhales) Buffy's been so down since it happened. I mean, she never gets sick.", "Giles: (looks down) Well, I'm sure she'll be, uh... (looks up, smiles reassuringly) She'll be fine.", "Joyce: I'm sorry, I, I babble when I'm nervous, I just wanted to... Well, if, if you need anything...", "Giles: (nods) Thank you. (quietly) Thank you. (walks off) Joyce turns to the nurse to ask to use the phone.", "Cut to outside Buffy's door.", "Xander: Do you think she's gonna be okay in here?", "Cordelia: (pacing) I don't know, Lysette got her nose done here, and she came in looking for the Gwyneth Paltrow, and it looked more like the Mr. Potatohead. She steps over to the door and looks into Buffy's room.", "Xander: Cordy...", "Willow: Buffy's not here for cosmetic surgery.", "Cordelia: No, but while she's in here, she might as well get that thing done. Willow gives Xander a look.", "Cordelia: You know, that thing on her face? (faces them) You know that thing.", "Willow: (to Xander) Do you think Angel will attack Buffy in here?", "Xander: He can come in, it's a public building.", "Willow: (worried) That's true.", "Cordelia: Am I the only one that's noticed that thing?", "Cut to the hospital at night. Cut to Buffy's room. She stirs in her bed. The clock on the nightstand changes to read 2:27am. Cut to her IV slowly dripping in. The LED on the heart monitor next to the IV blinks steadily. The camera pans down from it to Buffy's face. She takes a deep breath as she wakes up. She blinks her eyes several times before looking over at the door. It's standing open, and a young boy is there just silently staring in at her. A few moments later he starts away down the hall. She continues to look out the door, and a man in a black suit and hat walks by.", "Cut to a closeup of the man. He glances into Buffy's room as he walks by. She sees his face. It's all disfigured, his nose is long and bent down to a point, his teeth are all long fangs, and his fingers are grossly elongated. He looks back after the boy and continues to follow him out of view. Buffy raises her head in disbelief. She pushes her hair back with her bandaged hand and slowly sits up. She gets out of bed and steadies herself to a stand. She ties her robe closed as she walks out of the room.", "Cut to the hall. It's deserted except for the janitor mopping the floor behind her. As she walks she has a flashback to her youth, and the corridor is suddenly brightly lit. Little Buffy comes walking down the bright but deserted hall. The camera closes in on her face. Cut to her view of a cart of surgical instruments. Cut to her again, looking around nervously as she walks. Cut to a shot from behind her as she approaches Celia's room. Sunlight is pouring brightly from the door. She edges up to it and goes in.", "Cut to inside the room. Little Buffy comes in and slowly goes over to the curtain pulled around Celia's bed.", "Cut to Buffy in her hospital bed. The clock on the nightstand changes to read 2:27am. She stirs and wakes from her dream. Her door is open, but there's no one there. She pushes her hair back with her bandaged hand and slowly sits up. She feels the IV in the back of her right hand and looks at it. She pulls the tape off and the needle out. She covers her face with both hands, draws them back through her hair and starts to get out of bed.", "Cut to her walking down the hall, holding her robe closed with her hands. It's deserted except for the janitor mopping the floor behind her. She hears coughing coming from a room and looks in. A woman is tucking in an old man and comforting him.", "Woman: You'll be fine. Is that better? She continues down the hall and looks into the next room. An old woman is sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands. She continues, hears the old woman cough and lets out a little cough of her own. She passes another doorway and walks past the camera. A security guard looks out from the doorway and watches her go.", "Cut to another part of the hall near the children's ward. Buffy comes walking toward the door as two orderlies wheel a child covered with a sheet out of the ward.", "Orderly: Man, I hate it when you lose the young ones. They go down the hall past Buffy. She looks at the gurney as they go by. She turns back to the children's ward door and slowly approaches it. She can hear Dr. Wilkinson and Dr. Backer arguing inside in hushed tones, so she doesn't go in.", "Dr. Wilkinson: I'm just saying, step back on the dosage until we can analyze the results.", "Dr. Backer: There isn't time. I should think that would be clear to you by now. Buffy peeks into the room and sees them arguing.", "Dr. Wilkinson: The normal course of treatment...", "Dr. Backer: (interrupts) They *aren't* responding to the normal course of treatment. (gestures to the kids) Look, they're getting worse.", "Dr. Wilkinson: Raising their temperatures is poten...", "Dr. Backer: (interrupts) Dr. Wilkinson! I have the consent of the parents.", "Dr. Wilkinson: They're desperate! They don't understand what you're...", "Dr. Backer: (interrupts) You know what, if-if you have a problem with my methods, just take it up with the board.", "Dr. Wilkinson: I have! Buffy has heard enough, and turns away to go. There in front of her is the little boy she saw in her dream and a little girl. She stops and they look at each other.", "Ryan: He comes at night. The grownups don't see him. He was with Tina. He'll come back for us.", "Buffy: Who?", "Ryan: Death. Buffy looks back and forth between the two kids in disbelief. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale General. Xander is sitting on a chair outside the waiting room across from the nurses' station that is down the hall from Buffy's room. There are two police officers talking to a security guard. Nurses and orderlies are going about their tasks. Angelus comes walking out of the waiting room from the elevator bearing some white flowers and whistling a few bars of \"Ode to Joy\" from Beethoven's 9th symphony. Xander hears him and looks to see who's coming. When he sees Angelus he quickly gets up and faces him down in the hall.", "Xander: Visiting hours are over.", "Angelus: Well, I'm pretty much family.", "Xander: (trying hard to stay cool) Yeah. Why don't you come back during the day? Oh, gee, no, I guess you can't.", "Angelus: (threateningly) If I decide to walk into Buffy's room, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?", "Xander: Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either. Or those cops... or the orderlies... But I'm kinda curious to find out. You game?", "Angelus: (pauses) Buffy's White Knight. You still love her. (leans in close) It must just eat you up that I got there first.", "Xander: (fighting his nervousness) You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there. Angelus slaps the flowers against Xander's chest.", "Angelus: Tell her I stopped by. He gives Xander one final look and then goes back through the waiting room to the elevator. Xander shudders, covers his mouth and lets out a breath of relief.", "Cut to a flashback of Little Buffy and Celia. Celia is on the bedroom floor covered with pillows and writhing around, pretending to be trapped under a pile of snow and ice.", "Celia: Help me, help! Avalanche! Help! Help! I'm trapped! Avalanche! Help! Help! Little Buffy comes in through the door and stops in a heroic stance with her hands on her hips.", "Little Buffy: Power Girl to the rescue! She kneels down and starts to heave off the pillows as though they're huge, heavy blocks of ice and snow and thuds them aside.", "Celia: Help me! Help! Help! Please, help! Buffy gets the last pillows off of Celia's face, and she sits up.", "Celia: You saved me! Thank you, Power Girl! The two girls embrace.", "Little Buffy: You're safe now.", "Cut to a flashback of Little Buffy coming into Celia's hospital room. She slowly approaches the curtain around the bed and opens it enough to look in at her cousin. She steps through. Celia is lying there peacefully asleep.", "Cut to Buffy in her hospital bed. She wakes with a start.", "Dr. Wilkinson: (coming in) Good morning. Buffy moans, rubs her eyes and sits up.", "Buffy: Could've fooled me.", "Dr. Wilkinson: How are you feeling? Looks like your fever's gone down.", "Buffy: Well, good! Thanks for having me. Let's try and keep in touch.", "(tries to get out of bed)", "Dr. Wilkinson: (pushes her back) Not so fast. (inspects Buffy's bandaged arm) Hmm.", "Buffy: Good 'hmm' or bad 'hmm'?", "Dr. Wilkinson: Swelling's... gone! (looks up) Does this hurt?", "Buffy: Nope.", "Dr. Wilkinson: Amazing. (gets the chart)", "Buffy: Well, then I should probably go, right? (tries to go again)", "Dr. Wilkinson: (stops her again) No. Soon. We have to make sure that fever is gone. That's a strong virus you have. Maybe not as strong as you, but...", "Buffy: I-is that the same virus the kids have?", "Before Dr. Wilkinson can answer there's a knock on the door.", "Giles: May we come in?", "Dr. Wilkinson: Please! (they all come in) Maybe you can keep our patient from bolting. (to Buffy, sternly) Rest! Hmm? (leaves)", "Xander: (presenting five balloons) Flowers for milady.", "Buffy: (looks up at them) I think they call those balloons.", "Xander: (looks up) Yeah, stick 'em in water, maybe they'll grow.", "Willow: Not to be outdone... (sets school books on the bed)", "Buffy: Homework!", "Willow: It's my way of saying, 'get well soon'.", "Buffy: You know, chocolate says that even better.", "Willow: I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name. Giles munches on a grape.", "Buffy: Chocolate means *nothing* to me. Willow steps back and looks up at Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Nobody told me I was supposed to bring a gift. (looks at Giles) I was out of the loop on gifts.", "Giles: It's, it's tradition among, um... people. Um... (walks up to the bed) Grapes. (sets down the bag) Well, did you, uh, pass the night well enough? A nurse comes into the room and walks around the bed.", "Buffy: Not really. Something happened I thought you... The nurse checks Buffy's IV.", "Buffy: You know what? Let's take a walk.", "Cut to outside the hospital main entrance. The camera pans over to Willow pushing Buffy along in a wheelchair while the others walk alongside.", "Buffy: Now, this part I could get used to.", "Willow: Do you want me to go real fast? (gets a look from Giles) Not that I would.", "Giles: We were discussing, um, stuff.", "Buffy: Yes, stuff. Um, you know, a girl died here last night.", "Willow: How?", "Buffy: Well, the flu.", "Xander: Flu doesn't exactly sound monsterrific.", "Buffy: I know. But there's this Dr. Backer, and he's been giving them these experimental treatments. They stop by a bench and Giles sits.", "Buffy: I-I'm not sure what he's up to, but he's a little creepy. A-and then there was this kid, Ryan. He said he saw something.", "Giles: Saw what?", "Buffy: Death.", "Cordelia: Death?", "Willow: *The* Death? As in, 'it is your time'?", "Giles: Buffy, a-a-a frightened child...", "Buffy: Yeah, but I thought I saw something. I'm not sure, I was really out of it, but...", "Cordelia: But you do know that you saw death.", "Willow: Did it have an hourglass?", "Xander: Ooo, if he asks you to play chess, don't even do it. The guy's, like, a whiz.", "Buffy: Maybe it wasn't death. Maybe it was something else.", "Cordelia: So this isn't about you being afraid of hospitals 'cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?", "Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?", "Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.", "Willow: Your mom did tell us about your cousin. Cordelia sits also.", "Buffy: This has nothing to do with that. This little boy Ryan is afraid of something, something real. As long as I'm forced to stay here, I'm gonna find out what.", "Xander: So, is this the part where we say, what can we do to help?", "Cut to the hospital records room after hours that evening. The place is deserted. Cordelia and Xander quietly come in.", "Cordelia: (whispers) You had to ask that, didn't you? They walk over to a records cabinet.", "Xander: (quietly) Pft! It'll be cake. Just gotta figure out what killed this little girl Tina, we'll be out. Five minutes tops. (opens a cabinet door)", "Cordelia: (leans against the wall) This is what happens when you're compassionate towards sick people. They take advantage of you.", "Xander: (gives Cordelia a look) Uh-huh. Buffy almost died just to put you out.", "Cordelia: I didn't wanna be the first one to say it. He finds nothing and points over to the cabinet to his right.", "Xander: You there. (points to his left) Me here.", "Cordelia: Right. He goes on the next one around the corner. She reluctantly goes back to the one on the other side of the door where they came in. She opens the cabinet and looks in. Suddenly a security guard appears next to her, and she jumps and gasps.", "Guard: What are you doing here? She gives him a worried smile and lets out a breath.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Giles come walking in.", "Willow: So, where do we start?", "Giles: Hmm? Oh, I don't know. Maybe look into the history of the hospital, bizarre incidents, that sort of thing.", "Willow: I'm sensing a little less than full committal here. They stop by the counter.", "Giles: Oh, I-I suppose so. Cordelia may be (inhales) homerically insensitive, but she may also be right. Death and disease are, are things, possibly the *only* things that, that Buffy cannot fight. It's only natural for her to try to create a-a defeatable opponent. Especially now, after... after Jenny.", "Willow: (gives Giles a sad look) That's true. But on the 'we live on the Hellmouth' side, these kids may have seen a monster.", "Giles: (starts toward the stacks) What, a monster that grown-ups can't see? Doesn't ring a bell. (pauses) Unless...", "Willow: (sits on the table) Unless?", "Giles: Well, sometimes small children *do* see something we adults don't: us. Our true selves, our, our... our hidden faces.", "Willow: So the kids might be afraid of a regular person? (realizes) Like the weird doctor!", "Giles: Stanley Backer was his name, no?", "Willow: Let's look him up. (goes to get her laptop) Cut back to the hospital records room. Cordelia has the guard wrapped around her finger. She smiles sweetly at him and pretends to be interested as he leans against the wall and talks.", "Guard: You know, most people think that security guards are just guys that failed the police exam. But that's not me. This is my career.", "Cordelia: Stereotypes are so unfair.", "Guard: I did take the fireman's exam, though. I didn't do so good.", "Cordelia: Oh, well, you know, I think that security guards (plays with his badge) are *way* sexier than firemen. They're all sooty.", "Guard: Well, this is where all the action is anyhow. I'm all the time restraining people.", "Cut to Xander behind the other storage cabinets. He's found the file he wants and is waiting and listening for an opportunity to get out.", "Cordelia: Mm, how thrilling. (cut to her) Do you ever get scared?", "Guard: 'Fear is for the weak.' That's my motto. Either that, or 'Live in the now.' I haven't decided yet.", "Cordelia: I bet you see a lot of tragedy. You know, like that little girl?", "Guard: Oh, one of Dr. Backer's patients. Dr. Backer's a great man. He understands...", "Cut to Xander. He cringes at what he's hearing and thuds lightly back into the cabinet.", "Guard: ...the real truth about children.", "Cordelia: (cut to her) What's that?", "Guard: Sometimes they die. Cordelia closes her eyes. Xander makes another bumping noise, this time loud enough that the security guard hears it.", "Guard: What was that? (draws his baton)", "Cordelia: Uh, you know, I didn't hear anything. (tries to get his attention) You know, you have the most... perfect nose I've ever seen. He turns to face her. She giggles and reaches up her finger to run it over his forehead and down the length of his nose. Behind the guard Xander steps over to the door, quietly opens it and goes out.", "Cordelia: You must work out.", "Guard: (gives her a little growl) Yeah.", "Cordelia: (smiles and nods her head) Mm-hm.", "Cut to the hall outside the records room. Xander waits around the corner for Cordelia. She walks around it and lets out a surprised gasp when she runs into him there.", "Xander: Could you make just a little more with the touchy-gropey?", "Cordelia: Jealous?", "Xander: Of Rogaine boy? (chuckles) I don't think so. (hands her the file) Here, take this to Giles, okay?", "Cordelia: What about you?", "Xander: I'm gonna stay here.", "Cordelia: Oh, right. Your obsession with protecting Buffy. Have I told you how attractive that's not?", "Xander: Cordelia, someone's gotta watch her back.", "Cordelia: Yeah, well, I've seen you watch her back.", "Xander: What is that supposed to mean?", "Cordelia: Well, I was using the phrase 'watch her back' as a euphemism for 'looking at her butt.' You know, sort of a pun.", "Xander: Oh! Right. (gets the insult) Hey!", "Cordelia: Well, you do.", "Xander: Jealous?", "Cordelia: Fine. Watch *my* back. She walks past him and down the hall. He turns around and watches her go. He tilts his head to check out her butt, but quickly straightens back up again.", "Cut to the hall outside the children's ward. Buffy comes along, stops by the door and looks into the room. Ryan is sitting at a table drawing a picture with crayons. Buffy walks over to him.", "Buffy: Hey. Remember me?", "Ryan: You shouldn't be here.", "Buffy: Why not?", "Ryan: Contagious.", "Buffy: Nah. I already got what you got. She sits down by the table. Ryan goes back to drawing his picture.", "Buffy: Oh, what, you think because I'm a grown-up? Believe me, I'm not that grown up. She takes a look at his picture. It's of the monster that he's seen coming after the other kids. Buffy briefly flashes back to when she saw it walk past her door in her dream.", "Ryan: He'll come again tonight.", "Buffy: Ryan, listen to me. (he looks at her) I'm not gonna let this thing hurt you. Any of you. Grown-ups don't believe you, right? Well, I do. We both know that there are real monsters. But there's also real heroes that fight monsters. And that's me. He looks away and goes back to drawing his picture.", "Ryan: Can't fight death.", "Cut to the library. Willow is sitting at the table surfing for information on her laptop. Giles is standing behind her looking over her shoulder. Dr. Backer's medical database file comes up on the screen.", "Giles: Our Dr. Backer has something of a rap sheet.", "Willow: Reprimands for controversial experiments, risky procedures, a malpractice suit. Looks like it was dropped suddenly.", "Giles: (takes off his glasses) Factor in Buffy's observation that he gives her the, um, uh, wiggins... (turns away and thinks)", "Willow: This may be our death guy?", "Giles: (turns back to her) I just wish I knew what he was doing to these children. She looks up at him.", "Cut to a deserted hall in the hospital. Cut to Dr. Backer's office. He's deep into his research and mutters under his breath. He looks up from his printouts and steps over to his refrigerator. He opens it, pulls a specimen from a rack, checks the label and marks it. He puts the test- tube back, closes the fridge and reaches for a reference volume on his desk. He sits back down as he quickly leafs through it and finds the page he wants. He reads it back to himself and jots some notes onto his papers.", "Dr. Backer: Yes. Yes.", "Cut to the hall. Xander is sitting on a chair, waiting out his self- imposed sentry duty. He nearly nods off, but jerks his head back up. Cut to the table between his chair and the next one. A bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts plops down onto it. The camera pulls back, and Cordelia walks in front of it and sets down a tray with two cups of coffee. Xander looks up at her as she sits down. She looks back at him, then turns her attention to a copy of Cosmopolitan that she brought with her. Xander reaches for one of the coffees. He gives Cordelia another look and takes the bag of doughnuts also. He takes a long sip of coffee and then opens the bag.", "Cut to the hall outside Dr. Backer's office. He walks out, and the camera precedes him as he makes his way to the children's ward. He goes through one of a pair of doors. The camera stops, pans over to Buffy waiting behind the other door and closes in on her suspicious face.", "Cut to the children's ward. Dr. Backer comes in and looks around at the various beds as he makes his way over to a particularly sick child. The boy is asleep. He checks his watch and looks at the child for a moment. The boy lets out a labored breath. Dr. Backer raises a syringe, taps it twice to get the air bubbles to the top and depresses the plunger until the fluid starts to squirt out. He takes the IV line and pushes the needle into the drug administration stopper. Behind him he hears a muffled laugh and turns to look, but sees nothing. He looks back at the boy again. Suddenly he gets hit in the back and spun around by something unseen.", "Dr. Backer: Uhh! He is hit again in the chest and yells out in pain. Ryan sees what's happening from his bed and cowers in fear. Dr. Backer is choking. Four slashes appear on his lab coat that go deep and draw blood. He grabs his wound, but is bent backward onto the bed, still being choked. On the wall a shadow can be seen swinging its arm for another slice at the doctor. He screams, and blood sprays onto the wall. Ryan cowers further under his covers.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy slowly approaches the door to the ward and looks in, but she quickly has to step back and out of the way as Dr. Backer comes flying out and onto the floor. He groans, and she bends down to help him, but something pushes her away and throws her back into the wall. She hits it hard and slides down to the floor unconscious. Dr. Backer's arms are lifted by the unseen being, and his body is pulled around and dragged down the hall. Further down the hall he is dragged around a corner and out of sight.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale General. Cut to Buffy's room. She's in her bed looking at the picture Ryan drew. The grapes Giles gave her are on a plate on the table. Giles appears in the doorway and knocks. Buffy looks up as he, Xander and the girls come into the room. Willow closes the door behind her.", "Giles: Uh, well, it looks as if you, uh, were on to something.", "Buffy: I know.", "Giles: (walks around the bed) The, uh, the, the girl Tina, um, it's apparent that she, she died of the fever, (sits) simple enough, but, but her records show her improving and then suddenly deteriorating w-w-w- without any apparent cause.", "Willow: So we checked Dr. Backer out. This guy was *not* a solid citizen.", "Buffy: It wasn't Backer. He was clean.", "Cordelia: What do you mean 'clean'?", "Xander: What do you mean 'was'?", "Buffy: He's dead. This thing killed him, and not with kindness. (hands Giles the picture)", "Willow: You saw it? Giles looks at the rough child's drawing.", "Buffy: No, it's invisible. I saw Backer nearly shredded and the thing knocked me down. But it's real. Which means I get to fight it.", "Giles: Um, (takes off his glasses) this is your work? (indicates the picture)", "Buffy: No, one of the kids.", "Giles: Oh. Um... Well, it would help if-if we knew what it was. (exhales) I-it's invisible to you, but the, the children can see it.", "Cordelia: But you said you did see something the other night.", "Buffy: Uh, yeah, but I was pretty delirious. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. Why would I see it then and not last night? The door to the room opens, and Buffy's mother comes in.", "Joyce: Good morning. Giles puts his glasses back on. She sets down the bag she brought with her.", "Joyce: Ooo, looks like I interrupted a secret meeting. They all let out forced laughter.", "Cordelia: (smiling widely) You sure didn't!", "Joyce: Honey, I, I just talked to the doctor, and she said I can take you home.", "Buffy: (considers a moment) No. I should stay here.", "Joyce: (confused) But, honey, I thought you'd be raring...", "Buffy: I think my symptoms are flaring up.", "Willow: She doesn't look well.", "Buffy: 'Cause I'm not well. Uh, I feel all oogy.", "Xander: Increased ooginess. That's a danger signal.", "Joyce: Are you sure?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah, but just for a day... or s-so.", "Joyce: Okay, well, I'll, uh, I'll talk to the doctor. She goes back out of the room. Cordelia closes the door behind her.", "Xander: So what's the drill?", "Buffy: Giles, see if you can get a mug shot on that guy. I need to know what I'm fighting.", "Giles: Right. Yes. (walks around the bed)", "Buffy: I'll check Backer's office. See if I can find any post-its marked 'why a monster might want me dead.'", "Xander: Sounds like a plan.", "Buffy: Course, if I find anything, I won't know what it means, so, Will...", "Willow: Oh, yeah, I'm good at medical stuff since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.", "Xander: (chuckles) No, she's being literal. (gets a look from Cordelia) She used to have all these medical volumes, uh, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.", "Willow: (to Xander) Wrong? Why? (to Buffy) How did *you* play doctor?", "Buffy: (evasively) I never have. Cordelia raises her eyebrows at Buffy and clears her throat. Giles picks up on the hint.", "Giles: Um, fascinating though this is...", "Buffy: Yeah, right. Go!", "Giles: W-w-we'll call you if we... know something. He starts out with Cordelia and Xander close behind.", "Buffy: Know something soon.", "Cut to the hall. The three of them start toward the waiting room.", "Giles: I'd best head for the library. Research beckons.", "Xander: I'm on sentry duty. Angel won't show till sundown if at all, but maybe I'll get lucky with this death guy.", "Cordelia: He's invisible.", "Xander: Yeah, but if I see a floating pipe and a smoking jacket, he's dropped.", "Giles: Well, you two, stay alert. They stop outside the waiting room.", "Xander: Finding out who this thing is takes priority. Cordy, you should go with Giles.", "Giles: Why do I have to have... (looks at Cordelia) Uh, good thinking. I-I-I could do with a research assistant.", "Cordelia: (to Giles) Let's go, tact-guy.", "Giles: Yes. (goes to the elevator)", "Cordelia: (to Xander) Be careful. (follows Giles) Xander sits down on the chair across from the nurse's station.", "Cut to the children's ward that evening. Ryan opens the door and looks out into the hall. The only person there is the security guard checking things. Ryan steps back into the ward and closes the door.", "Cut to Dr. Backer's office. The camera closes in on his nameplate on the door. Cut inside. Buffy opens the door and pokes in her head. Seeing that it's empty she opens the door further to let Willow in, checks the hall and closes it behind her. She starts to looks around and checks out the reference volumes on the shelves by the fridge. Willow looks over the papers on his desk.", "Willow: It's weird going through his things. (Buffy opens the fridge) Look, he didn't finish his coffee. Guess he won't. (looks at the printouts)", "Buffy: (closes the fridge) Yep, another person I wasn't in time to save. (comes to the desk) It's too bad Angel didn't put me in the hospital sooner. There's something I never thought I'd hear myself say. The two of them keep looking.", "Willow: Hey, wait, I think I have something.", "Buffy: Hmm. Sherlock.", "Willow: Okay, this makes sense. Dr. Backer was trying to inoculate the kids with a controlled dosage of the same virus they already had. (gets a confused look from Buffy) Oh, raising their temperatures to burn the fever out of them.", "Buffy: Would that work?", "Willow: According to this it was starting to. So he really was trying to help the kids.", "Buffy: Till that thing stopped him.", "Cut to the library. Giles and Cordelia are going through a stack of books on the table. He has Ryan's drawing for comparison. She turns a page and finds a picture of a demon. He takes a sip of his tea.", "Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?", "Giles: (puts his mug down) What?", "Cordelia: What does this do? (pushes the book toward him)", "Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.", "Cordelia: Wow! (leans over to look at his book) What does this one do?", "(points to a drawing)", "Giles: (looks up at her) Um, i-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim's head with its incisors.", "Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do? (points to another)", "Giles: (frustrated) It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.", "Cordelia: Boy, there's a demon for everything.", "He slaps down Ryan's picture and gets up from the table in disgust. He takes off his glasses and rubs his forehead.", "Giles: I don't even know if we're on the right track. Since this, uh... miscreant has only been seen by select individuals, there's a chance we won't ever... find a picture of it.", "Cordelia: Well, it's not in here. She closes her book, and on the cover is a drawing of the monster they are seeking. Giles looks down at it and puts his glasses back on. She notices his gaze and looks at the book's cover also.", "Cut to Giles' office. Cordelia is on the phone with Buffy.", "Cordelia: It's called Der Kindestod.", "Buffy: (cut to her on her bed) Who is this?", "Cordelia: (cut to her) It's me. I've got your monster!", "Buffy: (cut to her) Where's Giles?", "Cordelia: (cut to her) Looking up stuff.", "Buffy: (cut to her) Well, can you put him on?", "Cordelia: (cut to her) Hey! (closes the book and heads for the desk) I found your guy, (cut to Buffy) okay? Just listen.", "Buffy: Right.", "Cordelia: (cut to her at Giles' desk) The name means 'child death'. (cut to Buffy listening intently) This book says that he feeds off of children by sucking the life out of them. (cut to her) Eew! But anyway, afterwards, it looks like they died because they were sick.", "Buffy: (cut to her) So it did kill Tina.", "Cordelia: Yeah, that's my take. (cut to her) 'Cause it would be looking at the children's ward as basically an all-you-can-eat kind of thing, y'know.", "Buffy: (cut to her) Backer was curing the kids and taking away the (cut to Cordelia, nodding) Kindestod's food.", "Cordelia: Hence, the slice-age.", "Giles: (comes into his office) I found a picture of how it kills. Let me talk to her.", "Cordelia: (takes the book and looks) Oh! Eww!", "Buffy: (cut to her) What?", "Cordelia: (cut to her) Oh! (cut to Willow, looking concerned) Uh, you should see this thing! The way it does its thing, (cut to her) I mean, eww! (hands the phone to Giles and gets up) Why do I let you guys drag me into this stuff? (leaves)", "Giles: (into the phone) Uh, uh, Buffy? (cut to Buffy) Are you, are you still there?", "Buffy: Hanging on every (cut to Giles) eww.", "Giles: (sits) Uh, the, um, the Kindestod gorges by sitting atop his prey, (cut to Buffy listening closely) pinning it down, uh, helplessly. Then he slowly draws out the life. I-it must be, uh, h-horrifying for the victim. Buffy just stares off into space.", "Giles: Buffy? Hello?", "Cut to a flashback of Little Buffy pulling aside the curtain around Celia's bed.", "Little Buffy: Celia? Celia wakes and starts to scream. She holds her hands in front of her as if trying to push something away.", "Little Buffy: What's wrong? Celia keeps screaming at the top of her lungs in complete terror.", "Little Buffy: I don't know what to do, Celia! Celia continues screaming and swats with her hands at something unseen.", "Little Buffy: (toward the door) Help! Help! Help! Somebody help!", "Celia: Get it off of me! (screams)", "Little Buffy: Come on, Celia!", "Celia: Get it off of me! (screams)", "Cut to the bright and empty hall outside Celia's room. No one is coming in spite of all the screaming. Cut back to Buffy holding the phone to her ear and staring off into space.", "Giles: (cut to him) Buffy, w-what is it?", "Willow: (cut to her) (takes the phone) Thanks. (hangs up)", "Buffy: It killed Celia.", "Willow: Your cousin?", "Buffy: (looks at Willow) We have to get this thing, Willow, before it gets any more kids.", "Willow: You will. We will.", "Buffy: But how? I-I can't even see it.", "Willow: You saw it once.", "Buffy: Did I? Uh, maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I mean, I was crazed with that fever. Who knows... Cut inside Dr. Backer's refrigerator. The door opens and the light goes on.", "Willow: Buffy, think about this.", "Buffy: I have. Lots of thoughts. (crouches down)", "Willow: It's crazy.", "Buffy: (searches the test-tubes) The fever. That's how you see the Kindestod. That's why Celia could see it. That's why Ryan still can. (finds the right one) It's the only way.", "Cut to the office. Buffy stands back up and faces Willow.", "Willow: But how are you gonna fight this thing with 107 degree temperature? (42d C)", "Buffy: I guess we'll find out. She uncaps the tube and raises it to drink the serum. Willow quickly stops her.", "Willow: Buffy!", "Buffy: Willow, I'm going to do this.", "Willow: Buffy, that's 100% pure. It'll kill you in an instant.", "Buffy: Oh. They really should put that on the label. Willow reaches into the refrigerator for a bottle of drinking water and grabs a beaker that's sitting on top. Buffy closes the fridge while Willow sets the beaker on the desk and opens the bottle.", "Willow: It needs to be diluted. She pours some water into the beaker and closes the bottle.", "Buffy: Okay, but this better work fast. Willow takes the test-tube and draws some of the serum into a dropper. She holds it over the beaker and lets a single drop fall in.", "Buffy: Faster than that. Willow looks up at her, worried, but gives in and puts another drop into the water. Buffy takes the beaker, holds it up and looks at it, then over at Willow.", "Buffy: Here's to my health. After another moment's hesitation she quaffs the water and serum.", "Cut to the hall outside the children's ward. Willow and Buffy come around the corner and head toward the ward. Buffy is already feeling the effects of the virus and walks unsteadily, breathing heavily. Willow supports her.", "Buffy: Oh, God. I'm not sure this was such a good idea.", "Willow: Hang in there. You'll be okay.", "Buffy: Okay. I'm okay. They reach the door to the ward, and Buffy looks in through the door's window. The beds are all empty.", "Buffy: The kids. They're gone. She and Willow exchange a surprised and very worried look. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The basement tunnels under the Hospital. Ryan leads the kids from the children's ward as they try to run away from the Kindestod.", "Ryan: Come on!", "Girl: Hold me!", "Ryan: Keep quiet!", "Cut to the hall outside the children's ward.", "Willow: What could have happened?", "Buffy: I don't know. (faces her) Maybe we're too late. Maybe they moved. (feels her forehead) Maybe I don't... I'm burning up! She looks back into the room and starts to see something.", "Buffy: Will?", "Willow: What?", "Buffy: I think it's in there. A form begins to take shape as though unfolding. It steps over to a bed, and suddenly the Kindestod is clearly visible to Buffy. It looks into a bed and finds it empty. She stares at it through the door's window. The monster looks over at another bed and notices her staring. It straightens itself up and looks at her. Buffy's eyes go wide with fear. It just giggles maniacally and takes off its hat to her. It keeps an eye on her for another moment as it turns toward the other door to the ward, then puts the hat back on and walks to the other door. The Kindestod opens it and goes through, and as it closes the camera cuts to a close- up shot of the sign on the door: basement access.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy frantically tries to follow, but the door to the ward is locked, and the virus has weakened her enough so that she can't break it open.", "Buffy: It's going after them! (turns to Willow) We gotta get 'em.", "Dr. Wilkinson: (coming around the corner) Buffy?", "Buffy: (to Willow) Okay, we'll get 'em in a second.", "Dr. Wilkinson: (quickly approaches) What's wrong?", "Willow: I, uh, she's not feeling well again.", "Dr. Wilkinson: You should be in bed. (puts her arm around Buffy)", "Buffy: No, no, it's not that bad.", "Dr. Wilkinson: No, you're coming with me. (starts to pull her away)", "Buffy: No! She pushes the doctor away and starts to run down the hall. Willow quickly follows.", "Willow: (back to the doctor) She's sorry!", "Dr. Wilkinson: (grabs a phone and dials) Security, come to the children's ward. We have a situation. She hangs up and runs after the girls.", "Cut to an intersection in the halls. Buffy and Willow come through a pair of doors. The camera pans around down the adjacent hallway where the security guards are coming. They head the girls off at the intersection.", "Guard: Okay, come on now. (holds his baton threateningly) We can do this the easy way. The two girls give each other worried looks, then Willow has an idea and starts to swat at herself with her hands.", "Willow: (frantically) Frogs! Frogs! Get 'em off of me! The two guards make for her, assuming she's the reason they were called.", "Willow: Oh, my God, frogs! Get them off of me! Please, help! Buffy edges around the corner and quickly goes down the other hall.", "Willow: Get 'em off! FROGS! Frogs! Oh, my God, horrible frogs! Dr. Wilkinson comes through the doors.", "Willow: (squeals) Get 'em...", "Dr. Wilkinson: Not her, the other one!", "Willow: (looks up, calm again) No more frogs!", "Guard: C'mon! They start to run after Buffy.", "Cut to Xander sitting at his post in the hall across from the nurse's station. Buffy comes into view and bumps into the wall, unsteady from her fever. Xander looks up, sees her, jumps to his feet and runs to her.", "Xander: Buffy, are you okay? Did Angel...", "Buffy: (shakes her head) No. We need to get to the basement.", "Cut to the basement tunnels. The Kindestod is looking around for signs of the children's passing.", "Cut to the children weaving their way through the hospital's boiler room.", "Ryan: Shh! They find a secluded corner and all crouch and huddle together.", "Girl: I'm cold.", "Ryan: Here. He takes off his robe and drapes it around the girl.", "Ryan: Here. We're gonna be safe in here.", "Boy: Look! The Kindestod appears behind Ryan. The other kids all scream.", "Ryan: What? It grabs Ryan from behind and lifts him up and away.", "Ryan: Whoa!", "Cut to the stairs to the basement tunnels. Xander supports Buffy as they hurry down.", "Xander: You don't know how to kill this thing.", "Buffy: I thought I might try violence.", "Xander: Solid call. They head down the tunnel.", "Cut to the Kindestod holding Ryan up to look at him. He and the other kids are all screaming. Cut to Xander and Buffy running down the tunnel.", "Cut to the Kindestod, still holding up Ryan. It throws him aside, and he hits the concrete floor hard.", "Ryan: Oof! The kids keep screaming. Ryan tries to get up. The monster growls as it slowly comes for him. Ryan turns around and looks up at the Kindestod. He can't scream for fear. It kneels and leans over him, and now Ryan starts to scream again. It takes his head to hold him steady. The boy watches as the monster's eyes bug out and split open. They extend from their sockets down toward his forehead. The monster drools heavily and licks its lips. Its eyes make contact with Ryan's forehead. He screams as he feels his energy being drained. Suddenly the Kindestod gets hit in the head with a large section of pipe, and its eyes snap back into their sockets. Buffy stands over it with the pipe held ready.", "Buffy: You make me sick. The Kindestod stands up and faces her. She swings the pipe at it again, but the monster blocks it and knocks it from her grip. Although Xander can't see it, he sees that Buffy is fighting something and takes the opportunity to go to Ryan and lift him up from the floor.", "Xander: Up. He carries the boy over to the other kids. Buffy is not in top form as she fights the Kindestod, and it gains the upper hand and punches her twice in the face, then throws her against a pipe. Xander finds the other children and starts to herd them away.", "Xander: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Hurry! He follows them, throwing a few glances over at Buffy along the way. She swings twice at the monster, but it just leans back and avoids the blows. It grabs her again and throws her into another pipe. She recovers quickly, spots a raised grating and hops up onto it. She takes a good look at the Kindestod, and then jumps from the grate and lands a hard kick on its face. It stumbles back and to its knee as she lands on her feet. She kicks it three more times while it tries to get back up. Xander comes back after leading the kids away and watches her fight. He sees her kick, but to him it looks like she's fighting thin air. He hears her get hit, and she spins around and lets out a grunt of pain. The monster takes her by the shoulder and backhand punches her in the face again. He takes her by the throat, lifts her up and throws her into some sections of large duct tube. Buffy is dazed and just lies there on the pipe. The Kindestod reaches down for its hat, brushes it off and puts it back on. Buffy recovers from her daze, but not in time to get away as it kneels and reaches for her head. It holds her steady with both hands. Its eyes bug out and split open again. She reaches up for its head with both hands and gives it a good quick twist. The monster's neck snaps loudly, and it falls over dead next to her. Buffy stands up and looks down at the Kindestod's prone body. Xander finally dares to come closer.", "Xander: (concerned) Are you okay?", "Buffy: Actually, (looks up at him) I think I'm starting to feel better. Let's... She takes a step, but loses her balance and falls into Xander.", "Buffy: Oh! He puts his arm around her to support her, and they go.", "Xander: He's dead right? I mean, I heard something snap.", "Buffy: That would be his neck.", "Xander: You're not gonna yak on me, are ya?", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut to Buffy's room. Joyce walks in with a sandwich on a plate and a glass of juice.", "Joyce: Here you go, honey. Peanut butter and jelly, without the crust, just the way you like it. She sits on the bed next to Buffy and puts the glass on the nightstand. Buffy is lying back comfortably.", "Buffy: And the juice?", "Joyce: (hands Buffy the plate) Two parts orange, one part grapefruit.", "Buffy: That's my drink.", "Joyce: I measured it exactly. (gets up to go) The camera pulls away from Buffy to show Xander lounging on the bed next to her, munching away on cheesy chips and watching TV.", "Buffy: (looks at the sandwich) Oh, mom?", "Joyce: Mm-hm?", "Buffy: I wanted crunchy peanut butter.", "Joyce: Oh, sorry. (comes back) The camera pulls back even further to show Willow on the floor next to the bed surrounded with pillows.", "Buffy: A-and I said extra jelly. (hands up the plate)", "Joyce: (smiles) Anything to help my daughter get well. (starts to go again)", "Willow: Oh, and while you're up, could I get a refill? (holds out her glass) It's just I'm so comfortable.", "Joyce: (steps over) Of course. (takes the glass)", "Willow: Thanks.", "Xander: Oh, oh, oh, (holds up an empty bag) and another bag of cheesy chips. (tosses the bag away)", "Joyce: (raises her eyebrows at him) Uh, you ate the last one.", "Xander: No, there's another bag hidden behind the raisins.", "Joyce: (sighs) I'm on it. (leaves)", "Xander: (to Buffy) Your mom's tryin' to Bogart the cheesy chips. What's that all about? Joyce comes back into the room holding an envelope.", "Joyce: Oh, Buffy, here. Um, this came in the mail. (hands it to Buffy)", "Buffy: (reads the return address and smiles) It's from Ryan. (opens it)", "Joyce: The boy from the hospital? Buffy takes out the paper inside and unfolds it. Joyce looks down at it.", "Joyce: (smiles) Oh, he drew you a picture.", "Cut to a shot of the picture. It's of Buffy standing over the Kindestod with her foot up on its chest. The monster's neck is split open and blood is gushing out.", "Joyce: How... nice." ]

[ "The tortured ghost of a former Sunnydale High student re-enacts a murder-suicide on the night of the school's Sadie Hawkins dance . Bespelled to play the parts, Buffy and Angelus change the tragic outcome just enough for the lovers' spirits to find peace, and for Buffy to learn the meaning of forgiveness." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze. Splendid is the band tonight. They are on stage performing \"Charge\". The camera pans from the spotlights above the band down past the drummer to the lead guitar player.", "Lyrics: The way you love / Have you got a name for it / Cause I don't understand it The camera pans past the singer and into the crowd. Cordelia and Xander are dancing close with their arms around each other and smiling.", "Lyrics: The language is an annoying necessity / And I depend on all the regular things The camera reaches Willow, who is looking around for Buffy. She turns around, looks up and spots her on the upper level leaning against the railing and watching the band. The camera pans up to her.", "Lyrics: Got a list tattooed on my memory / Of how our tryst should unfold Behind Buffy a boy approaches her.", "Lyrics: I'm falling from the opposite", "Ben: Hey. Buffy turns to him, a little surprised.", "Lyrics: What good is it", "Ben: I'm Ben. We had Algebra II together last year.", "Lyrics: Fight the map with no key attached", "Buffy: Sorry, I pretty much repress anything math-related.", "Lyrics: My heart's enlarged, and I charge / What do you say", "Ben: Ms. Jackson? Second period? You sat in the seat three over and one behind.", "Lyrics: To a dream that won't go away", "Buffy: Oh! Yeah, I remember now, it's the one with the desks and the chalkboards and pencils and stuff, right?", "Ben: That's the one. (chuckles)", "Buffy: (smiles and points at her head) Like a steel trap.", "Lyrics: 'Cause I don't know if I can stand it", "Ben: So, I was wondering, you know the dance tomorrow night? Are you going?", "Buffy: You mean the Sadie Hawkins thing? The deal where the girls ask the boys?", "Ben: Yeah.", "Lyrics: Forever isn't something you want to be", "Ben: And I thought maybe, you know, if you're free, you might ask me.", "Lyrics: And I rely on familiar things", "Buffy: Oh, gosh... (exhales) I...", "Ben: (holds up his hand) Oh, oh, hey, hey, no, don't, don't worry about it...", "Buffy: No, no, you seem like a really great guy, it's...", "Lyrics: Seven days all have special meanings", "Buffy: ...me. I-I'm not seeing anybody.", "Lyrics: But you just call it a week", "Buffy: Ever again, actually.", "Ben: Oh. That's, that's too bad.", "Lyrics: I'm falling from the opposite / What good is it", "Ben: Okay, well, I better... (indicates away and goes)", "Lyrics: Fight the map with no key attached", "Buffy: (to herself) Sorry.", "Lyrics: My heart's enlarged, and I charge She watches him go for a moment, glances sadly down at the band and then heads for the stairs.", "Cut to the stage. The camera focuses on the singer and the band as she sings the refrain again.", "Lyrics: I'm falling from the opposite / What good is it / Fight the map with no key attached / My heart's enlarged, and I charge When Buffy reaches the bottom of the stairs Willow meets her.", "Willow: Hey! You're bailing?", "Buffy: Yeah. I'm gonna stop by the library and see if Giles wants me to patrol, and then sack it.", "Willow: You've been doing that a lot. Patrolling and sacking. In fact, you've kind of been All-Work-And-No-Play Buffy.", "Buffy: I play. I have *big* fun. I came here tonight, didn't I?", "Willow: You came, you saw, you (glances up) rejected.", "Buffy: You mean that guy? Just not in date mode right now.", "Willow: (smiles) Well, maybe you need to date to get in date mode.", "Buffy: I don't think I'm ready for that, Will.", "Willow: You're thinking too much. Maybe you need to be impulsive.", "(smiles)", "Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.", "Willow: Okay, the Angel thing went badly, I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be... (smiles) nice!", "Cut to the halls at Sunnydale High School. A boy is chasing a girl as she walks away from him determinedly.", "Boy: (angrily) Come back here! We're not finished!", "He grabs her by the arm and turns her around to face him.", "Boy: You don't care anymore, is that it?", "Girl: (sobbing) No, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what I feel.", "Boy: Then tell me you don't love me. (shakes her) Say it!", "Girl: Will that help? Is that what you need to hear? I don't. I don't! Now let me go. (tries to go)", "Boy: No! A person doesn't just wake up one day and stop loving somebody. He takes a step back, raises a revolver, pulls the hammer back and aims it at her. She looks at the gun, then up at him, frightened.", "Boy: Love is forever. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The halls at Sunnydale High. The boy has his gun trained on the girl.", "Boy: I'm not afraid to use it. I swear! If I can't be with you... Buffy comes walking around the corner and sees them.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Girl: Oh, my God! She turns and starts walking away. Buffy starts running at the boy.", "Boy: DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME, BITCH! Down another hall George the janitor hears the yelling, drops his mop and starts toward the commotion. Buffy comes running at the boy full steam. He looks at her just as she grabs his arm, raises it and brings it down over her shoulder, making him drop the gun. She elbows him hard in the gut, knocking the breath out of him. She turns around, grabs him by the shirt and yanks him hard to the floor. His spins a turn and a half on his way down and lands hard on his back. The girl just looks on in shock. Buffy bends down to pick the boy up by the collar. George arrives at a run and goes over to the girl. They look over at Buffy and the boy. She pushes him away. He is in open-mouthed shock over what just happened.", "Boy: What happened?", "Buffy: What happened?! You just went O.J. on your girlfriend! His girlfriend looks down away from him.", "Boy: This is nuts! I... I don't know why I got so mad.", "Buffy: Because you're a jerk?", "Girl: He's not. We weren't even fighting a few minutes ago.", "Boy: We weren't, I, I swear to God!", "Buffy: If you weren't fighting, then why'd you have a gun? George looks around the hall.", "Boy: I don't, I don't know. I don't even know where I got it.", "George: I don't see any gun. Buffy looks at him, confused. The boy takes a look around also.", "Cut to school the next day. Cut to Pricipal Snyder's office. He comes in and closes the door behind him. The camera starts to follow him to his desk.", "Snyder: I'm sure you know why I asked you here. He passes Buffy as she takes a seat.", "Buffy: To thank me?", "Snyder: (walks around his desk) That's right, I wanna thank you. What would Sunnydale High do without you around to incite mayhem, chaos and disorder?", "Buffy: I don't incite! I stopped that boy from killing his girlfriend, ask him. Ask the janitor.", "Snyder: People can be coerced, Summers. I'm no stranger to conspiracy. I saw JFK. I'm a truth seeker. I've got a missing gun and two confused kids on my hands. Pieces of the puzzle. And I'm gonna look at all the pieces carefully and rationally, and I'm gonna keep looking until I know exactly how this is all your fault. Buffy is about to respond when his secretary buzzes him on his office intercom.", "Secretary: Mr. Snyder, Billy Crandal chained himself to the snack machine again.", "Snyder: (to the intercom) Pathetic little no-life vegan. He walks around his desk to go take care of Billy. Buffy stands up to go also.", "Snyder: Not so fast, missy. I'm not done with you yet. You stink of lies. He points to her chair, and she sits back down and exhales. He leaves the office and closes the door behind him. Over to Buffy's right is a bookcase with copies of all of the yearbooks since Sunnydale High opened, and the one from 1955 slides out on its own and falls. She hears it hit the floor and looks down at it. She gets up and bends down to pick it up. She looks at the cover, looks over at its space on the shelf, shrugs and puts it back.", "Cut to the computer science class. Willow is still substituting for Ms. Calendar. She walks along the front of the class.", "Willow: So, for next time read the chapters on information grouping and binary coding. Giles looks into the classroom from the hall.", "Willow: I bet you'll think coding is pretty cool. I mean, if you find two-digit, multi-stacked conversions and primary number clusters a big hoot. Everyone in the class laughs. The bell rings, and the students begin to leave. Willow watches them go and notices Giles waiting just inside of the doorway.", "Willow: Giles! (goes to him) I made them laugh, did you hear? I did the joke thing! (smiles) (goes back to the desk)", "Giles: Yes, yes, so it seems. I-I mean, um, (approaches the desk) uh, you did indeed. Good, good, good show. I-I-I just stopped by to, to see if you needed any assistance, (sits on the desk) but you seem to have things quite under control.", "Willow: (puts things away) Well, I had good lesson plans. Ms. Calendar had them on her computer.", "Giles: Yes, yes, she was very, um... uh, dedicated.", "Willow: And I found a bunch of files and Internet sites on paganism and magic and stuff. (smiles)", "Giles: Oh?", "Willow: Yes, it's really interesting. Giles looks down away from her.", "Willow: (reaches for something on the desk) And, uh, I found this in her drawer. (Giles looks up) She told me it was a rose quartz. (Giles looks at her hands) And it has healing powers. She holds up a light pink quartz stone strung on a thin leather thong.", "Willow: I thought she'd want you to have it. He gets up from the desk and slowly takes the necklace from her. He gently turns it over in his hand.", "Giles: Oh, thank you, Willow, that's, um... that's very thoughtful of you. He turns and leaves the classroom. Willow watches him go with a small smile on her face.", "Cut to history class. Buffy has her chin propped up in her hand, bored with the lecture and trying not to fall asleep to the drone of the male teacher's voice.", "Teacher: Before 1935, the new deal focused on revitalizing stricken business and agricultural communities. And the new deal also tried to regulate the nation's financial hierarchy to avoid another disaster like the 1929 stock market crash. Buffy can't help but close her eyes for a moment. The next thing she knows she hears a woman's voice, and she shakes herself out of her reverie.", "Ms. Newman: Don't forget, your assignments are due on Friday, class. The students begin to leave. Buffy looks around and is taken aback by the sudden changed appearance of the classroom and the different dress and hairstyles of the other students.", "Girl#1: I told Ms. Hall we'd go help decorate the gym. Who are you taking? She hands a flyer for the Sadie Hawkins Dance to another girl. Buffy can see that the year on it reads 1955.", "Girl#2: David said yes.", "Girl#1: Oh, you're kidding! He's so dreamy! Buffy looks all around, confused.", "Ms. Newman: (collecting papers) Thank you. James goes up to the desk and hands in his paper also.", "Ms. Newman: Thank you, James. How are you enjoying that book I loaned you? The Hemingway. Buffy observes and listens to the conversation.", "James: I like it. Very much. It's honest. He slowly reaches for Ms. Newman's hand and gently takes it.", "Ms. Newman: (exhales) Yes, it's, um... it's based on a true story, actually. He fell in love with his... They are interrupted by the door opening, and let go of their hands. Suddenly Buffy finds herself back in her history class as her teacher continues his lecture while writing on the board.", "Teacher: ...hours, child labor... Buffy stares in surprise at what the teacher is writing.", "Teacher: ...and collective bargaining. The teacher looks back at the class. The students all start laughing. He looks back at the board and sees that he's just written \"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME BITCH!\" in huge letters.", "Teacher: Oh, my God! He quickly grabs an eraser and frantically wipes it away.", "Boy: (smiling) Did you see what he wrote?", "Cut to the halls. Buffy and Xander walk through the doors from the lounge and head down the hall.", "Buffy: I'm telling you, something weird is going on.", "Xander: Something weird is going on. Isn't that our school motto?", "Buffy: Pretty much. But I don't know. This time it bugs me. They reach his locker, and he starts to work the combination.", "Xander: I don't wanna poo-poo your wiggins, but a domestic dispute, a little case of chalkboard Tourette's? All sounds like Hellmouth Lite to me. He opens his locker, and a wiry-muscled green arm shoots out and grabs him by the shirt. He screams, and it pulls at him and slams him into the locker. Buffy grabs him by the shoulders and tries to pull him away, but the arm is extremely strong and pulls Xander away from her and against the locker again. He screams out in pain when he hits it. Buffy grabs him again and pulls harder, and the arm lets go. Xander falls to the floor as Buffy slams the locker shut. He scrambles back to his feet, and they both look around the hall and see the other students' reactions. They are all confused, but stay away and just stare. Buffy gives Xander an intent look and indicates that they should open his locker again and take a look inside. Xander rubs his chin and stands ready as Buffy slowly lifts the latch. She slowly opens the door, and they peek in. Nothing. They open it all the way, and it appears to be completely normal.", "Cut to the library. Willow is at the table studying. She looks up when she hears the doors open and sees Xander's torn shirt.", "Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?", "Xander: You're just a big bucket of funny, Will. Buffy sits down next to her. Xander walks over to Giles, who is kneeling and going through some books on a shelf.", "Xander: I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.", "Giles: (looks up) Loch Ness Monster?", "Buffy: 'Locker' monster is what he said. But it wasn't really a monster. It was, like, this big arm that came out of the locker, but then we opened it again, it was gone. Nothing.", "Xander: This was right after Buffy's history teacher starts doing some freaky channeling thing in class.", "Giles: (stands up) Ooh! Sounds like paranormal phenomena.", "Willow: (smiles) A ghost? Cool!", "Xander: Oh, no, no. No. No cool. This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was 'I'm dead as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.'", "Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that's a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.", "Xander: I defined something? Accurately? (closes a book on the table) Guess I'm done with the book learning. (sits)", "Buffy: So we have some bad boo on our hands?", "Giles: Yes.", "Willow: Well, why is it here? Does it just wanna scare people?", "Giles: Unfortunately, he doesn't know exactly what he wants. That's, that's the trouble. See, uh, many times the spirit is plagued by all manner of worldly troubles. Being dead, it has no way to, uh, to make its peace. So it, it lashes out, growing ever more confused, ever more angry.", "Buffy: So it's a normal teenager, only dead.", "Willow: Well, what can we do? Is there any way to stop it?", "Giles: (sits on the table) Uh, the only tried and true way is to work out what unresolved issues keep it here, and-and-and, um, resolve them.", "Buffy: Fabulous. Now we're Dr. Laura for the deceased.", "Giles: Only if we can find out who this spirit is. (considers) Or was.", "Cut to the halls that evening. George is doing his usual mopping. Behind him a classroom door opens, and a teacher comes out to go home.", "George: Working late Ms. Frank?", "Ms. Frank: My fault. Let myself get behind. (stops) Is it okay to walk here George? It is George, right?", "George: Oh, yes ma'am. You go ahead.", "Ms. Frank: Thanks. (continues on her way) You have a nice evening.", "George: You too. Drive safe. (looks up at her) Oh, Ms. Frank?", "Ms. Frank: Yes?", "George: (drops his mop and approaches her) You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over.", "Ms. Frank: (shakes her head) There's no way we can be together. (steps closer) No way people will ever understand. Accept it.", "George: Is that what this is about? What other people think?", "Ms. Frank: No! I just want you to be able to have some kind of a normal life. We can never have that. Don't you see?", "George: I don't give a damn about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute. She steps closer and puts her hand up on his cheek. He looks down sadly.", "Ms. Frank: I know. But it's over. It has to be. She turns around and starts to leave. He looks up again and starts to chase after her.", "George: (angrily) Come back here! We're not finished yet! He grabs her by the arm and turns her around to face him.", "George: You don't care anymore? Is that it?", "Ms. Frank: (sobbing) It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what I feel.", "George: Then tell me you don't love me. (shakes her) Say it!", "Ms. Frank: Will that help? Is that what you have to hear? I don't. I don't. Now let me go. (tries to go)", "George: No. A person doesn't just wake up one day and stop loving somebody. A gun materializes in his hand. He takes a step back, raises the revolver, pulls the hammer back and aims it at her. She looks at the gun, frightened.", "George: Love is forever. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. The camera pans through the main room over to a window looking into Giles' office. George and Ms. Frank can be heard faintly as they continue their quarrel.", "George: I'm not afraid to use it. I swear. If I can't be with you...", "Ms. Frank: Oh, my God.", "George: DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME, BITCH! Giles notices George's loud yelling and looks up from his desk. He gets up, takes off his glasses and walks out of his office to the area behind the checkout counter. There he hears a faint female voice.", "Voice: I need you. He looks around for a moment, then jumps to a conclusion.", "Giles: Jenny.", "Cut to the hall. He arrives at the hall intersection.", "George: Don't! Giles looks in the direction of George's voice and sees him out on the balcony holding the gun up to Ms. Frank.", "George: Don't do that, damn it! Don't talk to me like I'm some dumb... The gun goes off. Giles rushes to the other side of the intersection and hides behind the corner, watching the events as they unfold. Outside Ms. Frank goes into shock from the bullet wound and begins to fall backward. She tumbles over the balcony railing down to the base of the stairs below. There George sees her lying dead with her eyes closed. He panics and runs into the hall. As he reaches the intersection Giles rushes out, grabs him and tackles him to the floor. George loses his grip on the gun and it slides away. As it does so it dissolves and disappears in a whiff of black vapor. George raises his head as Giles gets to his knees behind him and holds him down.", "George: What's going on?", "Giles: What's going on? You just shot a woman. George is stunned by the realization that it actually happened.", "Cut to a modern-looking but deserted mansion. Cut inside to an atrium. Angelus comes in leading Spike and Drusilla on a tour.", "Angelus: And this... this is the garden.", "Drusilla: Wow! (walks through) Look. Jasmine. (holds a flower)", "Angelus: Night blooming. (plays with some pruning shears)", "Drusilla: Like us. Oh, Angel, it's fairyland. (turns in excitement) Ooh!", "Spike: (still at the entrance) It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.", "Angelus: If you don't like it, Spike, hit the stairs and go. Take a stand, man. (comes up behind Drusilla)", "Spike: Well, our old place was just fine till you went and had it burned down.", "Angelus: (walks around the center stone table) Things change, Spikey. You gotta roll with the punches. Well, actually, you pretty much got that part down, haven't you?", "Spike: Very funny, mate.", "Angelus: (peeks his head out from behind Dru) What can I say? (peeks from the other side of her head) I just love to see you smile, buddy. He holds up a jasmine bloom and brushes it across Drusilla's cheek as he growls into her ear.", "Spike: Yeah, you're a giver. (turns and rolls out)", "Cut to the library. Giles is in his office, and the others are standing outside his door.", "Giles: It was just as with the, the couple you encountered the other night, Buffy. The, the janitor remembered everything. He, he knew he'd killed this poor woman, but he had no idea why. Well, they-they had no intimate relationship. He comes out with a few books and heads into the main area. They all follow.", "Willow: What about the gun? Did you find it?", "Giles: No, no. The police, everybody, we-we-we-we searched high and low. I think it's very clear what's happening here. He goes into the cage with the books and puts them away.", "Xander: Fill me in then, 'cause I've read the book, seen the movie, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on.", "Giles: It's Jenny.", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: You think she's the ghost?", "Giles: Well, don't you see? Well, she-she-she died here under tragic circumstances, a-a-and now she's trapped.", "Willow: But what about the gun? I mean, Angel didn't shoot Ms. Calendar.", "Giles: The gun is insignificant. It's the violence of the thing that matters. (goes back into his office)", "Buffy: I don't know. These fights these couples keep having, it's sort of... specific.", "Willow: She's right. It's a pattern that doesn't fit with the way Ms. Calendar died.", "Giles: (comes out of his office) Yes, well, I, uh, I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, I, in fact I... well, I *encourage* you to, to always, uh, challenge me, uh, when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. (starts back in, but comes back) Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong. (goes back in)", "Cut to the computer science classroom. Willow, Xander and Buffy come in.", "Willow: This is freaky. I don't ever remember ever seeing Giles be this weird. She sits at the desk and types at her laptop. Xander leans on a table behind her. Buffy walks to the other side of the desk.", "Xander: I know. He's usually Investigate-Things-From-Every-Boring-Angle Guy. Now he's I-Cling-Onto-My-One-Lame-Idea Guy. What gives?", "Buffy: He misses her. He can't think. Just a little more fallout from my love life.", "Willow: Okay, but this ghost stuff is something else. Let me do a crosscheck on other shootings at the school.", "Buffy: Yeah, we need some alternate ghost theories. What do we know?", "Xander: Dog spit is cleaner than human.", "Buffy: Besides that?", "Willow: (finds something) Oh, boy, we know plenty. She scrolls through a newspaper article on her laptop. The title reads \"Sunnydale High Jock Kills Lover, Self\".", "Willow: It says a student murdered a teacher on the night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance. The rumor was they were having an affair, and she tried to break it off. After he killed her, he went into the music room and shot himself.", "Xander: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a ghost. It is one of those two, right?", "Willow: It all fits: the gun, the Sadie Hawkins Dance.", "Buffy: Which is tonight.", "Xander: How come we've never heard about this murder-suicide thing before? When did it happen?", "Buffy: 1955. Willow and Xander both look up at her surprised.", "Willow: How did you know?", "Cut to a short while later. Buffy sets the 1955 Sunnydale High yearbook on the desk and opens it to a picture of Ms. Newman.", "Buffy: Okay, here's the new strangeness. I dreamt about this woman,", "(points) Grace Newman, the other day. (turns more pages) Her and this guy. (points)", "Willow: Jim Stanley? He's the one. He did it.", "Xander: Your dreams are getting wicked accurate, Buff. You wouldn't happen to see me coming across some big cash? Or possibly knowing the love of a woman? In a full body sense?", "Buffy: (ignores him) He couldn't make her love him, so he killed her.", "(turns away) Sicko. (steps away)", "Willow: He looks so normal on this picture. He was smart, too. He made the honor roll.", "Buffy: (looks back) Smart.", "Xander: He killed a person and killed himself. Those are pretty much two of the dumbest things you could do.", "Willow: I know, but... Well, don't you feel kind of bad for them?", "Buffy: Sure I feel lousy. For her. He's a murderer and he should pay for it.", "Willow: With his life?", "Buffy: No, he should be doing sixty years in a prison, breaking rocks and making special friends with Roscoe the Weightlifter.", "Xander: Yikes. The quality of mercy is not Buffy.", "Willow: Whose ghost do you think we're dealing with? His or hers?", "Buffy: Well, considering how violent it is, I'm gonna say his.", "Xander: That tracks.", "Willow: (sits) Well, I've been browsing on some of Ms. Calendar's pagan sites. Maybe I can find a way to communicate with them and... we can find out what he wants.", "Buffy: Who cares what he wants? We need to shut him down before some other innocent guy goes and kills some poor nice girl and then blows his brains out all over the music room wall.", "Xander: Okay! (smiles and rubs his hands) Who's hungry?", "Cut to the cafeteria. Kraut dogs and spaghetti are on the menu today.", "Cordelia has opted for spaghetti, and after paying comes over to the team's table with her tray.", "Cordelia: I hope you guys aren't going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance tonight, (sits) 'cause I'm organizing a boycott. Do you realize that the girls have to ask the guys? And pay and everything? I mean, whose genius idea was that?", "Xander: Obviously, some hairy-legged feminist.", "Cordelia: Really! Well, we need to nip this thing in the bud. I mean, otherwise, things are going to get really scary. Suddenly they hear several students scream. The hotdogs and spaghetti have all turned into snakes. A boy pulls his snakedog away from his mouth. He has a snake protruding from his lips. He drops the bun, spits out the snake and quickly gets up, backing away from his table. Xander and the others look back at their table and see snakes all over it as well. They quickly get up, except for Cordelia, who is too busy screaming to think. When she finally looks at the table again a snake lunges at her and bites her on the cheek. She reacts fast, throws the snake off of her and runs. Snyder comes through the door and sees the mayhem. He steps back just as a student comes running by and falls over a table. Moments later the cafeteria is deserted.", "Cut to later outside. The police are there. A team of pest controllers is gathering the snakes, which in the mean time have managed to make their way all around the school. Students are still fleeing the building and running around. Cut to an ambulance. Cordelia and Xander sit at the back while a paramedic dresses Cordelia's snakebite.", "Cordelia: Perfect. I'm gonna be scarred and swollen. Why didn't they just kill me?", "Cut to the Police Chief's car. Snyder holds the door open as the Chief gets out.", "Chief: Schoolboy pranks?", "Snyder: Never sell. (slams the door and they walk)", "Chief: The sewer got backed up.", "Snyder: Better. I can probably make that one fly. But this is getting out of hand. People will talk.", "Chief: You'll take care of it.", "Snyder: I'm doing everything I can, but you people have to realize... Two men arrive.", "Man: Snyder, what's going on here?", "Snyder: Backed up sewer line. Same thing happened in San Diego just last week. The two men continue into the building.", "Snyder: (to the Chief) We're on a Hellmouth. Sooner or later, people are gonna figure that out.", "Chief: The city council was told that you could handle this job. If you feel that you can't, perhaps you'd like to take that up... with the Mayor. (leaves)", "Snyder: I'll handle it. I will.", "Cut to Buffy's house that night. Cut inside to her room. She's on her bed, Xander is in her wicker chair, Cordelia is kneeling and leaning against the bed and Willow is standing.", "Willow: Remember the plan to contact the spirit and talk to it? Scrap that plan. Buffy, you were right. The time for touchy-feely communication is passed. I've done some homework and found the only solution is the final solution.", "Xander: Nuke the school? (smiles) I like that.", "Willow: Not quite. Exorcism.", "Cordelia: Are you crazy? I saw that movie! Even the priest died.", "Buffy: What's the deal? Willow lays down a map of the school building, and they all lean in to look.", "Willow: Okay, see here, the balcony? That's where the original teacher died back in 1955 and that teacher last night. That's the hot spot where all the bad mojo is coming from. We need to create a Mangus-tripod.", "Cordelia: A what?", "Willow: (points) One person chants here on the hot spot. And the other three chant in other places around the school forming a triangle. It's supposed to bind the bad spirit and keep it from doing any more harm.", "Buffy: Well, I'll take the hot spot. (takes the map) If there's trouble, that's where it'll be. Willow nods.", "Xander: This ghost, this James guy, is fixating on you, Buffy. The dreams, the yearbook... You sure you can handle it?", "Buffy: Well, I'm hoping he'll show. I truly am.", "Cut to the school that night. They all come into the hall from outside.", "Buffy: Okay, we all have our places. We do the chant and light the candle at midnight exactly. Any questions?", "Cordelia: Yeah, what if this mangled triangle thingy doesn't work?", "Willow: Oh! I almost forgot. I made us all scapulas. (hands them out)", "Xander: Okay, so we can flip the ghost over when it turns a nice golden brown?", "Willow: Scapula, not spatula. Um, you wear it around your neck for protection.", "Cordelia: You expect me to wear this? It smells like grandpa breath.", "Willow: Sorry, I didn't have a lot of time. I had to use sulfur. Stinky, but effective.", "Buffy: Okay, let's do this. They all continue into the student lounge.", "Cordelia: No problem. This will be a piece of cake. Right? They hear a creaking and then a crashing noise. They jump and look in that direction and see that the doors at the end of the hall have slammed shut on their own. One by one the other doors at the ends of the two intersecting halls slam shut.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The atrium in the mansion. Drusilla sifts through the dirt in one of the large planters. Spike is in his wheelchair, and Angelus is on the bench behind Drusilla.", "Drusilla: Maybe I'll sleep underground. Dig myself a little burrow.", "Spike: What about your pretty dress, sweet? It'll get all dirty.", "Drusilla: Then I'll sleep naked. Like the animals do.", "Angelus: You know, I'm suddenly liking this plan. Drusilla lies down on the ground in front of the planter.", "Spike: Fortunately, nobody cares what you like, mate.", "Angelus: Oh, yeah? Let's ask Dru. He slides off of the bench and crouches, looking at Drusilla. She begins to laugh as she has a vision.", "Drusilla: There's a gate! (rolls onto her back, laughing) It's opening!", "(gets to her knees)", "Angelus: Incoming! I love when she does this.", "Spike: What gate, pet? What do you see?", "Drusilla: (bounces gleefully) It's black. (hums) It wants her. (hums)", "Angelus: (crawls up behind her) Wants who?", "Drusilla: The Slayer. It's time, Angel. (stands up) She's ready for you now. (begins to move) She's dancing. Dancing with death.", "Spike: Big deal. He won't do anything. Our man Angel here likes to talk but he's not much for action. All hat and no cattle.", "Angelus: (grabs Dru's waist) I don't know about that. (turns her around) I think this whole Slayer thing has run its course. (crouches down by her) I'm ready to focus my energy elsewhere.", "Spike: Really?", "Angelus: Oh, yeah! What, with you being Special Needs Boy, I figure I", "should stick close to home. (walks his fingers up Dru's thigh and waist) You and Dru can always use another pair of hands. Drusilla coos with delight. Angelus chuckles maniacally. Spike looks at the two of them angrily.", "Cut to the hall outside of the school library. Willow walks along and slows down to look down the other hall before continuing. Behind her Giles opens the door, and she screams out in fright. He startles and yells out, too.", "Giles: God, Willow, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be inside.", "Willow: Me? What about you?", "Giles: I'm, uh, I'm, I'm trying to, uh... (puts on his glasses) I think I-I may be close to, uh, contacting Jenny. Willow gives him an understanding look. He starts to go back into the library, but turns back.", "Giles: What's that smell?", "Willow: It's my scapula.", "Giles: Ah, right, of course. Did you use sulfur?", "Willow: Yeah.", "Giles: That's clever. Uh, well, uh, run along then. Th-there may be some, uh, paranormal ph-phenomena if I contact her. Y-y-you don't want to be in the line of fire. He goes back in, and the door swings shut behind him.", "Willow: Okay. 'Night.", "Cut to a girls' bathroom. Cordelia comes in with her candle and flashlight and looks around. The place is deserted. She sees her reflection in the mirror with a bandage on her cheek. She walks over to it and sets the candle down on the shelf. She pulls off the bandage and winces at the pain. Leaning toward the mirror she inspects the twin fang marks on her cheek.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy walks along and hears the song \"I Only Have Eyes For You\", by The Flamingos, playing somewhere. Down another hall she can see shadows in a bright light dancing against a wall.", "Lyrics: My love must be a kind of blind love She walks toward the sound and through a pair of doors.", "Lyrics: I can't see anyone but you Beyond them is another set of doors to the music room. A Class of '55 Sadie Hawkins Dance flyer is taped to one of the door windows. She steps over to the other door and looks in. There she sees James and Grace dancing slowly to the music.", "Cut to the cafeteria. There are still a few snakes there. Xander comes in and looks around.", "Xander: Oh, yeah, baby, it's snakalicious in here.", "Cut to the landing up the stairs from the student lounge. Willow steps up to it and looks around nervously.", "Cut to Buffy watching James and Grace slowly turn as they dance.", "Lyrics: The moon may be high / but I can't see a thing in the sky When James turns into view again Buffy sees that his face is all rotted.", "Lyrics: 'Cause I only have eyes for you Buffy stares back in open-mouthed shock. James and Grace are suddenly gone.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia digs in her purse for some makeup. When she looks back up and is about to put some on, the side of her face with the snakebite suddenly becomes rotten. She screams at the top of her lungs.", "Cut to the landing. Willow sets her candle down on the floor. Below her the floor suddenly starts to swirl, and a green demonic hand reaches up and grabs her, pulling her down. She screams for all she's worth, and grabs the stair railing to keep from being pulled in.", "Willow: (screams) GILES! He hears her screams and comes running.", "Giles: WILLOW!", "Willow: GILES! GILES! The pull is too strong, and she loses her grip on the railing.", "Giles: WHERE ARE YOU?! He comes running into the lounge area.", "Willow: PLEASE! HELP! HELP ME! He turns and sees her sinking into the floor. He scrambles up the stairs to her aid.", "Willow: HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! He grabs her arms and starts to pull. She screams again as the pit continues to try to suck her in. Giles lets out a grunt and manages to slowly lift her out. When she's free of the pit she suddenly snaps into his arms, and they both go rolling down the stairs.", "Cut to the balcony. Buffy puts her scapula around her neck and pulls her hair out of the back. Suddenly she senses something and stares off into space. She has a vision of Ms. Newman running out of the hall onto the balcony being chased by James with his gun.", "James: Stop!", "Cut to Ms. Newman facing James.", "Ms. Newman: Just calm down.", "Cut to James shaking the gun at her. It goes off. Cut to Ms. Newman clutching her chest over the bullet wound. She pulls her hand away and looks at the blood. Cut to Buffy for just an instant. Cut to James walking into the music room. Cut to him putting on a record. Cut to him crying. Cut to him raising the gun to his head. Cut to him crying again as he pulls the trigger. Cut to Buffy on the balcony. James comes up to her with a rotted face and grabs her by the arms.", "James: Get out! The vision of him fades quickly, and she takes a few steps back.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia is panting with fear, covering her face with her hands. She looks into the mirror again and sees that her face is suddenly normal again. She pulls her hands away, takes a closer look and begins to calm down a bit.", "Cut to the lounge. Giles gets up and goes up a few steps to make sure that the pit is gone. He comes back down to Willow.", "Giles: Are you all right?", "Willow: (still frightened) Giles, (shakes her head) Jenny could never be this mean.", "Giles: (glances up at the landing) I know. (sits) It's, it's not her, is it?", "Willow: I'm sorry. The town clock begins to strike midnight.", "Willow: Oh, God. Oh. She scrambles back up to the landing to light the candle. He follows.", "Giles: Careful up here!", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia is nervous but ready with her candle and lighter.", "Cut to the balcony. Buffy strikes a match and lights her candle.", "Cut to the landing. Willow struggles with her lighter. The flame won't ignite. Giles crouches down, takes it from her and lights the candle.", "Willow: I shall confront and expel all evil.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia lights her candle.", "Cordelia: I shall *totally* confront and expel all evil.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Xander sits on a table with his lit candle before him. He has his legs crossed, hands folded and eyes closed as if in prayer.", "Xander: Out of marrow and bone...", "Cut to the balcony. Buffy lights her candle.", "Buffy: Out of house and home... never to come here again.", "Cut to the landing. Giles and Willow look around. Nothing is happening.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Xander opens his eyes. Nothing happens there either. Cut to the bathroom. Cordelia looks around also. All seems quiet. Cut to the balcony. Buffy watches as a breeze blows out her candle. She looks in the direction of the gust. Cut to the landing. The candle there has been blown out, too. Giles and Willow exchange a look.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Xander's candle is out also. He looks around nervously. Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia watches the smoke drift from the glowing wick. Cut to the lounge. Giles and Willow come down the stairs and look down the hall. They hear a faint buzzing. It steadily gets louder. At the far end of the hall they see a dark swarm of wasps coming toward them.", "Giles: Oh, my God! They both break into a dead run. As they round a corner Buffy and Cordelia join them from another hall.", "Giles: You all right? Xander comes running out of the cafeteria and keeps pace. They reach the far end of the hall where the doors are jammed shut.", "Buffy: Get back! Giles backs off, and Buffy kicks the door open, shattering the glass. They all immediately run out. The wasps are right behind them. When they reach the street Xander looks back and stops.", "Xander: Check it. They all stop and turn to look as well.", "Xander: I'd say school's out for good. They all stare in amazement. Giles takes off his glasses. The wasps have arranged themselves in a wall around the school so that nothing can get in or out.", "Cut to the living room at Buffy's house. She leans against the wall. Giles and the others are seated around the coffee table. He pours some tea for himself. There is also a pot of coffee for the others.", "Giles: The good news is none of you girls were shot. Well, we've established, based on all the parallels and-and-and Buffy's visions, that it's James' spirit.", "Willow: So what do we do, Giles? About James.", "Giles: Well, he's obviously reliving the night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance when he killed Ms. Newman. It-it's-it's common enough for a spirit to do this, to... recreate a, a tragedy.", "Cordelia: (munches a cracker) Hey. If Sunnydale High School shuts down forever, do we automatically graduate?", "Xander: (ignores her) But why? What does he want? (thinks again about Cordelia's question) Actually, that's an interesting point.", "Giles: He's, he's trying to... resolve whatever issues are keeping him in limbo. W-w-what exactly those are, I'm not...", "Buffy: (interrupts) He wants forgiveness.", "Giles: (leans back) Yes. (gets up) I imagine he does. (goes to her) But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he's experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he's, he's doomed to, to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and... forgiveness is impossible.", "Buffy: Good. He doesn't deserve it.", "Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.", "Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with.", "Xander: He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead. She just looks back at them all for a moment, then stalks off into the kitchen.", "Cordelia: Okay. Overidentify much? (munches her cracker)", "Cut to the kitchen. Buffy comes in. She has her hands in her pockets and finds a folded sheet of paper. She pulls it out and unfolds it. It's a Class of '55 Sadie Hawkins Dance flyer. She puts down the flyer and hears a faint male voice.", "Voice: I need you. She goes out the kitchen door.", "Cut to the living room. Willow gets up from her chair.", "Willow: So what do we do next? Do we go in again?", "Giles: Well, not now. No, the, uh... the spirit is too angry, too, too powerful. No, we have to work out exactly how and, and if this thing can be defeated.", "Cut to the school. It is still surrounded by the swarm of wasps. Buffy walks up to it anyway. The swarm parts to let her in. When she reaches the doors they open for her, and the swarm closes the gap behind her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at Buffy's house. Willow comes in looking for her.", "Willow: Hey, Buffy, are you... See sees the flyer lying on the island and picks it up.", "Willow: Oh, God. Giles! (he comes in) She went back.", "Cut to the school. They all stand in front of it looking at the swarm.", "Xander: So what now? Not even a mega-vat of Raid's gonna do the trick here.", "Cordelia: I don't get it. Is she trying to be a big loner hero or something?", "Giles: No. I believe she's under the spirit's thrall. He's, he's calling her.", "Cordelia: But why?", "Giles: James needs her to re-enact everything that happened on the night that he, he killed Ms. Newman. He wants to change things, make, make a happy ending.", "Willow: But it can't ever happen! It always ends the same, which means Buffy just went in there to get shot, Giles.", "Giles: Yes. But the school's deserted. There's no way for James to... to play his part. There's, there's no man inside for him to possess.", "Xander: So Buffy should be safe until we find a way to get her out.", "Willow: In theory, yeah. Cut inside the school. Buffy walks idly through the halls. She stops by the trophy case and turns around. Angelus walks in and blocks the camera's view.", "Angelus: Fun fact about wasps.", "Cut to Buffy with her back to Angelus.", "Angelus: They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just... tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you.", "Buffy: (quietly) You're the only one. The only person I can talk to.", "Angelus: Gosh, Buff. That's really pathetic.", "Buffy: (faces him) You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over.", "Angelus: Actually... (approaches her) I can. In fact... I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see?", "Buffy: I don't give a *damn* about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute. He raises his hand to her cheek. Cut to 1955. Grace puts her hand on James' cheek. He looks down sadly.", "Ms. Newman: I know. But it's over. It has to be! She turns around and starts to leave. He looks up again and starts to chase after her. Cut to 1998. Buffy chases after Angelus.", "Buffy: (angrily) Come back here! We're not finished! She grabs him by the arm and turns him around to face her.", "Buffy: You don't care anymore, is that it?", "Angelus: (sobbing) It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what I feel.", "Buffy: Then tell me you don't love me!", "Cut to 1955.", "James: Say it!", "Ms. Newman: Is that what you need to hear? Will that help? I don't.", "Cut to 1998.", "Angelus: I don't. Now let me go. (tries to go)", "Buffy: No. A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody!", "Cut to 1955. Grace looks at James. He takes a step back, raises a revolver, pulls the hammer back and aims it at her. Cut to 1998. Angelus looks at the gun and then at Buffy, frightened.", "Buffy: Love is forever. I'm not afraid to use it, I swear! If I can't be with you...", "Angelus: Oh, my God! He turns around and starts running out of the hall toward the balcony.", "Cut to 1955. Grace runs from the hall.", "James: DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME...", "Cut to 1998.", "Buffy: ...BITCH! Angelus runs out of the hall. She runs after him. Cut to 1955. James runs after Grace. Cut to 1998. Angelus barges through the door out onto the balcony.", "Buffy: Stop it! (comes out the door) Stop it! Don't make me! He stops next to the balcony railing.", "Angelus: (breathing heavily with fear) All right. Just... (turns around)", "Cut to 1955. Grace turns around to face James.", "Ms. Newman: You know you don't want to do this. Let's both... just calm down. Now give me the gun. (holds out her hand)", "James: Don't. Don't do that, damn it!", "Cut to 1998.", "Buffy: Don't talk to me like I'm some stupid... The gun goes off. Angelus flinches from the wound. Cut outside the school. Giles and the others hear the gunshot. Willow draws a worried breath. Cut to the balcony. Angelus has his hand clutched to his chest. He pulls it away and sees the blood. He looks up at Buffy. She stares back in open-mouthed shock at what she just did.", "Angelus: James.", "Cut to 1955. Grace goes into shock from the bullet wound and begins to fall backward. She tumbles over the balcony railing down to the base of the stairs below. Cut to 1998. Buffy just stares in shock. Cut to 1955. James sees Grace below lying dead with her eyes closed. He slowly goes back into the hall. Cut to 1998. Angelus lies prone at the base of the stairs below. Cut to the music room. Buffy slowly comes in. Cut to Angelus. His eyes suddenly open. He props himself up on his elbows and looks up at the balcony. Cut to the music room. Buffy walks to the record player at the back of the room. She turns it on and begins playing the record.", "Lyrics: My love must be a kind of blind love She looks over into a mirror, and James looks back at her. Her eyes are full of tears as she looks at him. He looks down at the gun in his hand.", "Lyrics: I can't see anyone but you The camera pans down from Buffy's face to the gun in her hand. She raises it slowly, but a hand takes it and pushes it back down. She turns and finds herself face to face with Angelus.", "Buffy: Grace!", "Angelus: Don't do this.", "Buffy: But-but I killed you.", "Angelus: It was an accident. It wasn't your fault.", "Buffy: Oh, it *is* my fault. How could I...", "Angelus: Shhh. I'm the one who should be sorry, James. You thought I stopped loving you. But I never did. I loved you with my last breath. Buffy lets out a few sobs.", "Angelus: Shhh... No more tears.", "Cut to 1955. Grace and James kiss. Cut to 1998. Angelus and Buffy kiss. They hold each other tightly as they continue kissing for a long time. Above them in the ceiling a bright light appears, and the spirits of Grace and James leave this world for the next. As quickly as it appeared the light is gone. Buffy and Angelus gently break off their kiss and open their eyes.", "Buffy: (softly) Angel. Suddenly he growls, pushes her away and runs from the room, leaving Buffy there in shock. Dissolve to the library. Giles paces behind the counter. The door opens, and Willow, Xander and Cordelia come in.", "Willow: Everything seems normal. Not a snake, not a wasp.", "Cordelia: Yep. School can open again tomorrow.", "Xander: Explain to me again how that's a good thing. They all lean against the counter.", "Cordelia: I'm drawing a blank. Giles goes back into his office where Buffy is resting.", "Giles: Are you feeling any better?", "Buffy: James picked me. I guess... I guess I was the one he could relate to. He was so sad.", "Giles: (sits by her) Well... they can both rest now.", "Buffy: I still... (exhales) A part of me just doesn't understand why she would forgive him.", "Giles: Does it matter?", "Buffy: No. I guess not.", "Cut to the atrium at the mansion. Angelus stands by the fountain bare- chested, breathing frantically and scrubbing himself hard with the water.", "Spike: You might want to let up. They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated.", "Angelus: What do you know about it? I'm the one who was friggin' violated. You didn't have this thing in you. He walks from the fountain and passes Spike in disgust.", "Drusilla: What was it? A demon?", "Angelus: Love! He grabs a clean shirt and starts to put it on.", "Drusilla: Poor Angel.", "Angelus: (walks back) Let's get outta here. I need a real vile kill before sunup to wipe this crap out of my system. He pulls on his jacket over his still-unbuttoned shirt. Drusilla comes up to him and growls. He snarls back.", "Drusilla: Of course. We'll find you a nice toddler. (snarls) Angelus starts up the stairs out of the garden.", "Drusilla: (to Spike) Want to come, pet?", "Angelus: (comes back down) No can do, Dru. I'm sure he'd be hell on wheels, but we don't have much time. (to Spike) Gotta travel light. (puts his hands on Spike's shoulders) Sorry. Try to have fun without me. He goes back up the stairs, and Drusilla makes haste to follow. Spike watches them go with an angry look on his face and exhales.", "Spike: Oh, I will. He takes his foot from its footrest and puts it on the ground. He slowly gets up and stands tall, apparently recovered from his weakness. He kicks back at his wheelchair angrily. It goes spinning away. He looks back up at the garden entryway.", "Spike: Sooner than you think." ]

[ "When several members of the Sunnydale High swim team are mysteriously skinned alive, Buffy and the gang take it upon themselves to protect the remaining members, which results in Xander revealing a side of himself rarely seen." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale State Beach at night. There is a large party going on with about fifty students in attendance. \"Mann's Chinese\", by Naked, plays in the background. The camera pans from a few parked cars through the crowd of students laughing and celebrating and stops at a fire, where Xander, Cordelia and Willow are warming themselves.", "Xander: All I'm saying is, it's a stupid idea to have a victory party at the beach. It's officially nippy. (looks down at himself) So say my nips.", "Willow: I think it's festive. A party with nature.", "Cordelia: Well, it's the team's choice. It was their victory.", "Xander: Team? Swim team. (chuckles) Hardly what I'd call a team. The Yankees. Abbott and Costello. The 'A'. Now, those were teams.", "Cordelia: Jealous?", "Xander: No. Y-yes, but 'no' more than 'yes'. A member of the swim team staggers by with a girl under each arm.", "Xander: I mean, look at that. (indicates them) Dodd McAlvy. Last month he's the freak with Jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene?", "Cordelia: Well, all I know is, my cheerleading squad wasted a lot of pep on losers. It's about time our school excelled at something.", "Willow: Hmm. You're forgetting our high mortality rate. Cordelia smiles at that.", "Xander: (pumps his fist) We're number one! (looks around) Huh? He gets a few positive responses from nearby students. The camera pans from them over to Buffy sitting by herself behind a pile of sand and staring out over the ocean with a tuned-out look on her face. After a moment another member of the swim team approaches her from behind.", "Cameron: Beautiful. (stands behind her) Isn't it?", "Buffy: (still staring at the ocean) Yeah. It's just so...", "Cameron: Eternal. A true mother, giving birth to new life and devouring old. (sits behind her) Always adaptable and nurturing... yet... constant... and merciless.", "Buffy: (looks at him) Boy. I was just gonna go with big and wet.", "Cameron: (laughs) Me and some of the other guys on the team, we come out here once a week to train in it. See, we swim against the current.", "Buffy: Funny. That's how I feel most of the time. (turns to him) So, Cameron Walker, you just won the state semifinals. What are you going to do next?", "Cameron: I'm going to hang out with Buffy Summers. Get to know her.", "Buffy: (looks down for an instant) Hey, pause that tape for a second.", "Cameron: Hey. No pressure. I just like being around you. That's all. They both look out over the ocean for a moment. Then behind them a lot of shouting and laughing starts.", "Jonathon: Somebody help me! Buffy and Cameron both turn to look. Cut into the drink tub looking up through the ice floating on the surface. Jonathon's face gets pushed into the water and shaken around. Cut to Dodd harassing him. He pulls Jonathon's head back out of the tub and holds him back by the hair.", "Dodd: Come on, Jonny, you gotta hold your breath longer than that if you ever wanna make the team! Hey, somebody time him! He shoves Jonathon's head back into the tub. Suddenly a hand appears on his shoulder and pulls him up, raising his short sleeve in the process. He has a tattoo of a mean-faced shark smoking a cigar on his upper arm.", "Dodd: Hey!", "Buffy: Nice tat. What, they ran out of Tweety bird? She shoves him down to the ground. Jonathon coughs at the side of the tub.", "Dodd: Hey, what's your problem?", "Cameron: (chuckles) You had it coming to you, bro. Dodd gets up and starts to confront Buffy, but Gage gets between them.", "Gage: Chill, dude. A bunch of us are gonna take a little night dip down on the beach. You in?", "Dodd: Whatever. They start to go. Buffy turns her attention to Jonathon.", "Buffy: Hey, let's, let's get you a towel.", "Jonathon: (waves her off) No. Why don't you mind your own business? I can handle this without your help. (leaves)", "Buffy: (sighs) See? It's fun to hang out with me.", "Cut to Dodd and Gage walking further down the beach.", "Dodd: I can't believe Buffy. Man, that girl gives me the creeps. He lags behind a bit and then stops, staring out over the ocean as Gage continues to walk. He looks back and forth with his eyes between the ocean and Gage walking ahead of him. After a long pause he continues to walk as well.", "Cut to Gage. He smells something and stops in his tracks. He takes another sniff of the rank-smelling air.", "Gage: Oh! Dude! What is that foulness? He looks behind him and sees that Dodd has disappeared.", "Gage: Hey, Dodd! (looks around the other way) Dude! (gives up) Huh. He goes on to the group of people gathered under the pier. The camera stops following him and pans up the beach. A muffled scream can be heard followed by some tearing sounds and painful moaning. Finally a deep growl is heard as the camera reaches Dodd, or at least what's left of him. It's just a pile of ripped-up clothes and torn and bloody skin steaming in the cold night air. The camera stops on his shark tattoo for a moment, then pans up to a large storm drain coming out of the hillside. A hunched-over creature walks into it. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Computer science class at Sunnydale High School. The camera focuses on a pie chart appearing on a student's screen. Willow walks up the aisle, and the camera follows her through the classroom as she looks around at the students' work.", "Willow: Okay! Good pie charts, everyone. (looks at another) Good. (looks at another) All good.", "Girl: Thanks.", "Willow: (continues on) Nice. (walks around another) Good. (looks at Gage's PC) Gage. Your pie chart is looking a lot like solitaire... (looks closer) with naked ladies on the cards?", "Gage: (looks up at her) What's your point? The bell rings, and Gage gets up to go.", "Willow: No point. Principal Snyder walks into the room past the leaving students. He spots Gage and stops.", "Snyder: Nice work in yesterday's meet, son. Now, let's go for it.", "(pumps his fist)", "Gage gives him an acknowledging nod and continues out of the classroom. Snyder turns his attention to Willow.", "Willow: Uh, hi there, sir.", "Snyder: Rosenberg. How's the class? Everything in order?", "Willow: (worried) Well, actually...", "Snyder: (interrupts) Great. I've been talking to the board. We've been having trouble finding a competent teacher this late in the term. Do you think you could continue subbing through finals?", "Willow: (smiles) Oh! Sure! I like teaching.", "Snyder: Isn't that nice. You're a team player, and I like that. A team player wants everyone on the team to succeed. Wants everyone to pass.", "Willow: Well, yeah. Sure. (goes to her desk)", "Snyder: (follows her) I understand there's a problem with Gage Petronzi. He stops at one of the PC's and looks at it with his back to Willow.", "Willow: Oh, good, then you know. Well, yeah. Besides the behavior problem, he won't do homework, and his test scores are... Snyder looks up exasperated, not wanting to hear this.", "Willow: Well, actually, he doesn't have any test scores because he never shows up when we have...", "Snyder: (turns to her and interrupts) I'm not interested in any of that. I'm interested in why, when this school is on the brink of winning its first state championship in fifteen years, you slap a crucial member of that team with a failing mark that would force his removal. Is that how you show your school spirit?", "Willow: (flustered) Yes. Well, I mean... no. I'm just trying to grade fairly.", "Snyder: Gage is a champion. He's under more pressure than the other students. And I think we need to cut him some slack. He starts to leave the classroom. Willow considers his words for a moment.", "Willow: You're asking me to change his grade? (faces him)", "Snyder: (stops and turns back) I never said any such thing. (steps over to her) All I'm suggesting is... that you recheck your figures, and I think we'll find a grade more fitting to an athlete of Gage's stature. Perhaps something in a 'D'. He turns and leaves. Willow is unsure of how to deal with what he just told her.", "Cut to the halls. Xander, Cordelia and Willow come down the stairs and walk down the hall.", "Xander: Just like that? He actually told you to alter his grade?", "Willow: Exactly. Except for actually telling me to. But he made it perfectly clear of what he wasn't telling me.", "Xander: That is wrong, a big, fat, spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to *earn* our D's.", "Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.", "Xander: And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?", "Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.", "Xander: I think that was Lincoln.", "Cordelia: (exhales) Disgusting mole and stupid hat.", "Willow: Actually, it was Jefferson.", "Cordelia: Kept slaves. Remember?", "Xander: You know what really grates my cheese? That Buffy's not here to share my moral outrage about swim team perks.", "Cut to Cameron's Mustang pulling up to the school. Buffy is in the passenger's seat.", "Xander: She's too busy being one of them.", "Cameron: I don't know, a dolphin. A dolphin in the ocean. Because, you know, when I'm in the vastness of the ocean, it's... (they pull to a stop) it's like I'm never alone. He turns off the engine and leans against his door to face Buffy. She leans her elbow against her door with her head propped up on her hand.", "Cameron: You ever hear of a woman named Gertrude Ederle?", "Buffy: No. No, I can't say that I have, Cam.", "Cameron: First woman to swim the English Channel. (Buffy nods slowly, bored) Same thing. I mean, she would talk to it. I mean, she'd carry on entire conversations with it. Sometimes I do that. I mean, once I was out in...", "Buffy: (sits up) You know what, Cam? Thanks. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just talk, or, in my case, listen, without any romantic pressure.", "Cameron: Hey... I'm not about pressure. I just want you to be comfortable.", "Buffy: (smiles) I'm comfy! I'm so comfy, I'm nodding off actually, which is why...", "Cameron: (interrupts) Are you wearing a bra? (looks at her suggestively)", "Buffy: (in disbelief) What?", "Cameron: (grins) Come on. I mean, tell me you haven't been thinking about this ever since last night.", "Buffy: What I'm thinking about is that I should probably get out of this car... She reaches for the door lever, but Cameron quickly hits the master lock button, locking her in.", "Cameron: Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you.", "Buffy: Oh, it's not me I'm worried about.", "Cameron: (snickers) You like it rough! He reaches over to put his arm around her, and she grabs it and pulls him down toward her.", "Cameron: Ow! With her other hand she grabs the back of his neck and jerks him up.", "Cameron: Oh! She smashes his head into the steering wheel. The horn honks.", "Cameron: Oh! He sits up and holds his nose in pain.", "Cameron: Ah! Buffy notices Principal Snyder outside of the car. He walks up to the front and looks in through the windshield at her.", "Cameron: Oh, you broke my nose! Buffy cringes at the sight of Principal Snyder.", "Cameron: Ah! Snyder raises his hand and motions with his finger for her to come with him. Cameron groans in pain.", "Cut to Nurse Greenleigh's office. She slams a cold pack onto a table to start the chemical reaction and kneads it a little before holding it up to Cameron's nose and gently laying it on.", "Cameron: Ow! He takes hold of it, and the nurse leaves him alone. The camera pans over to Buffy.", "Buffy: I wasn't the attacker, Principal Snyder. I was the attacked.", "Snyder: That's not how it looked from where I was standing.", "Cameron: I don't know what happened. I mean, first she leads me on, then she goes schizo on me.", "Buffy: (steps over to him) Lead you on? When did I lead you on?", "Cameron: Oh, come on. (to Snyder) I mean, look at the way she dresses. She looks down at herself. The door opens, and the swim team coach, Carl Marin, comes in. Buffy steps back and leans against a table.", "Snyder: Coach.", "Coach Marin: How we doing, Cameron? (goes to him)", "Snyder: (follows) Coach Marin, how bad does it look?", "Coach Marin: Well, luckily, it's not broken, but sure as hell it's gonna sting for a few days.", "Snyder: (leads the coach away from Cam) I mean our chances of winning the state championship.", "Coach Marin: Oh.", "Snyder: Can we still do it?", "Coach Marin: I'm gonna need Cameron back at a hundred and ten percent. Uh, he's my best swimmer, now with Dodd, uh...", "Buffy: What happened to Dodd?", "Snyder: That's none of your concern. You'd better hope that boy's nose heals before the meet this Friday.", "Coach Marin: (goes to Cam) Walker, I want you to hit the steam room as soon as you're done here and try to keep those sinuses clear. (to the nurse) Take care of my boy, Ruthie.", "Nurse Greenleigh: I always do.", "Coach Marin: (steps over to Buffy) And you... try to dress more appropriately from now on. This isn't a dance club. He leaves the office. Snyder gives Buffy a look and follows the coach out. Cameron looks over at her and grins.", "Cut to the library. Buffy stands between the cage and the table and talks toward the table behind the camera.", "Buffy: So I'm treated like the baddie just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose. (considers) And I don't have a scratch on me, which, granted, hurts my case a little on the surface, but meanwhile he gets away with it because he's on the 'aren't we the most' swim team... The camera cuts to show Xander, Giles and Willow studying a number of books at the table. They all look up at her.", "Buffy: ...who, by the way, if no one's noticed, have been acting like real jerks lately... She notices their expressions of impatience and tries to find some sympathy there. They have none to give.", "Buffy: So, (giggles nervously) anything new with you guys? (sits)", "Giles: Thank you for taking an interest. Apparently, some remains were found on the beach this morning. Some human remains.", "Willow: Dodd McAlvy's remains.", "Buffy: Vampire?", "Giles: No. No, he was eviscerated. Nothing left but skin and cartilage.", "Xander: In other words, this was no boating accident.", "Buffy: So something ripped him open and ate out his insides?", "Willow: Like an Oreo Cookie. (Xander shoots her a look) Well, except for, you know, without the chocolatey *cookie* goodness.", "Giles: Yes. Um, Principal Snyder has, has asked the faculty to keep the news quiet for now, um, so as not to unduly upset the students.", "Xander: For 'students': read 'swim team'.", "Willow: So, we're looking for a beastie.", "Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole... except for the skin. (looks into his book)", "Buffy: This doesn't make any sense.", "Xander: Yeah. The skin's the best part.", "Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? Giles slowly turns to her and gives her a look.", "Buffy: (points at Giles) You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh.", "Cut to the steam room in the boy's locker room. Cameron sits in it alone. Cut to another view of the locker room. The camera pans around it. The place is deserted. Cut to the steam room. Cameron feels his nose and groans. Cut to the locker room. The camera slowly moves through it and looks around. Cut to the steam room. Cameron hears a noise and looks up and around. Cut to the locker room. The camera has reached the steam room. On the adjacent lockers a shadow can be seen approaching the door. Cut inside the steam room. Cameron ignores the noise and goes back to relaxing. Suddenly the door to the room opens, and he looks up startled and sees the coach come in.", "Coach Marin: Okay, son, I think you've had enough. Time to hit the shower. (walks off)", "Cut to the student lounge. Xander walks down the hall counting out change in his hand.", "Xander: Too much research. Need beverage. He walks through the doors to the lounge area and is practically run over by Cameron coming down the other hall at a fast pace, knocking Xander's change onto the floor.", "Cameron: Hey! Watch it.", "Xander: Oh, forgive me, your Swim Teamliness. He makes a bowing gesture as he bends down to pick up his change. Cameron turns to go.", "Cameron: Loser.", "Xander: Likin' the nose, Cam. Good look for you. (stands back up)", "Cameron: Meaning what? (faces Xander)", "Xander: (steps over to Cam) Meaning Buffy must not be on your list of privileges after all. (chuckles while Cam crosses his arms) Man, I love it when you guys mess with her.", "Cameron: (shakes his head) You're lucky I'm hungry.", "Xander: (in mock sympathy) Oh, the cafeteria's closed.", "Cameron: Not to me. (leaves) Xander guffaws as he watches him go.", "Cut to the cafeteria. The camera pans past the empty steam table. Cameron walks in the door and starts toward the kitchen. Halfway through the dining area he stops and sniffs the air.", "Cameron: God, what is that?", "Cut to the hall. Xander stands in front of the vending machine and contemplates his choice of beverage, pointing at the buttons on the front panel.", "Xander: Grape, orange. Orange, grape. Suddenly he hears screaming and loud crashing noises coming from the cafeteria and turns to look, then starts to run.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Xander comes rushing in. He slowly walks through while looking around. The place is a shambles, with tables and chairs knocked over everywhere. He sniffs the air and looks down as he passes a table. There he sees Cameron's remains, just a pile of torn clothes and steaming skin.", "Xander: Oh, my God. He puts his hand over his mouth in shock and fights back his urge to vomit. He straightens back up and turns to go. Standing there blocking his way is a dark green humanoid sea monster with catfish whiskers, sharp teeth and three scaly ridges across the top of its head, roaring loudly. Xander screams and backs away. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Xander is standing behind Cordelia sitting at the table and watches her sketch the monster he saw.", "Xander: No, no, no! The mouth's a lot bigger! And downward. Like this. She looks at him make a face with the corners of his mouth turned down, and she sighs.", "Xander: With more teeth! She's had enough. She puts the sketchpad down, gets up and goes over to Giles at the counter.", "Cordelia: I'm doing the best I can. Giles takes off his glasses and looks up from his book over at Xander.", "Giles: Is that what you saw, Xander?", "Xander: (picks up and looks at the sketch) Y... yeah! (considers) I think so. (considers some more) Pretty much.", "Giles: Aaaaare you sure? Cordelia faces Xander and crosses her arms.", "Xander: Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a... little shocked when I saw it, and...", "Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman. (grins)", "Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too. Willow and Buffy come into the library and head for the counter.", "Willow: Buffy was right. According to the statistics, Dodd and Cameron were the best swimmers on the team. (hands Giles the figures)", "Buffy: First and second, actually. Which means if my theory's correct, Gage Petronzi, the third-best swimmer on the team, would be the next item on the menu.", "Cordelia: God, this is so sad. We're never gonna win the state championship. I think I've lost all will to cheerlead.", "Xander: (goes to the counter) Raise your hand if you feel her pain. Cordelia gives him a disgusted look.", "Giles: If you're saying these killings aren't random, it would suggest someone's out for revenge.", "Buffy: And raise the possibility that someone brought forth this sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. (reconsiders her words) 'From whence it came'? (Willow smiles) (to Giles) I'm spending *way* too much time around you.", "Xander: Who would hate the swim team that much, though? (gets looks from Buffy and Cordelia) Besides me, I mean.", "Willow: (raises her hand) Ooo!", "Buffy: Willow?", "Willow: Jonathon! He was bullied by Dodd the other day on the beach, remember?", "Buffy: He did say he could take care of things himself. It's a good call. You should question him.", "Willow: (smiles) Really? Me? (menacingly) I'll crack him like an egg.", "Giles: Meanwhile, I think, uh, swimmer number three might benefit from your... watchful eye and protection. Discreetly, of course.", "Buffy: I'm on it. (leaves)", "Xander: What about me? What can I do?", "Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man. Xander hugs his arms around himself to protect against the sting of her words.", "Cut to the student lounge. Gage is sitting and playing with his GameBoy on one of the couches with his feet up on the table. The camera pulls back until Buffy is also in view, sitting in a chair and watching him while pretending to read a magazine. Gage can feel her eyes on him and shoots her a glance. Buffy quickly jerks her head back to stare into her magazine. Gage shakes the feeling off and goes back to his GameBoy. Buffy slowly turns her head to watch him again.", "Cut to Willow's classroom. Jonathon is sitting in a chair at the front of the room. Willow aims a reading lamp at him. The camera pans from it up to her face, determined to get what she wants out of him.", "Willow: So, Jonathon. (crosses her arms) You tried out for the swim team twice and never made it?", "Jonathon: (fidgets) I'm asthmatic. I couldn't keep up.", "Willow: You resented it, didn't you?", "Jonathon: Maybe.", "Willow: (approaches him) You hated being pushed around by Dodd and the others.", "Jonathon: So?", "Willow: (walks around to his other side) So, you wanted revenge. Didn't you? (leans in suddenly) (sternly) Didn't you?!", "Jonathon: (nervously) Yeah! Okay? I did!", "Willow: (smiles and straightens back up) So... You delved into the black arts and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance.", "Jonathon: Huh?", "Willow: Didn't you?", "Jonathon: (confused) What? No! I snuck in yesterday and... peed in the pool.", "Willow: (disappointed) Oh. (disgusted) Eww! He looks down in shame.", "Cut to the halls. Principal Snyder and Coach Marin walk in from outside and walk into the student lounge.", "Coach Marin: This is such a blow. Sooner or later, the rest of my boys are gonna find out. How can I ask them to swim?", "Snyder: (quietly) It's a terrible, terrible tragedy. We all feel your pain, coach. I don't know two finer boys than Cameron and... that other one. (they stop) But I know they'd want their friends to go on and win that state championship. It's time to think about the team.", "Coach Marin: Well, I don't have a complete team as it is. If we don't find someone by this afternoon's tryouts, we won't be eligible to compete.", "Snyder: You'll find someone. (they continue) All he has to do is wear a bathing suit, right? The camera follows them for a moment and then stops on Xander. He overheard, and he looks back and watches them go.", "Cut to the Bronze. There's a DJ tonight and no cover charge. People come and go. Cut inside. The DJ is playing \"If You'd Listen\", by Nero's Rome. Buffy is at the bar sucking on a drink and watching Gage at a pool table practicing shots by himself.", "Lyrics: If you'd listen, we wouldn't have to go through this Gage takes a shot and makes it. He walks around the table for his next one.", "Lyrics: If you'd just let me finish / Stop cuttin' and jumpin' ahead Gage bends down and makes his next shot.", "Lyrics: Yeah, if you'd just shut your pretty mouth / You'd save yourself some tears Buffy is bored at the bar, and gets up. She looks around nonchalantly and walks closer to the table, then gets behind a pillar and peeks out from behind it at Gage. Her change of position is not lost on Gage, and he stiffens up, frustrated at being watched so closely. He shoots her a look, and she quickly looks away. Gage has had enough. He puts down his pool cue and walks around behind the pillar.", "Lyrics: You came back from the bathroom Buffy peeks back at the pool table and sees he's gone. She steps around to the other side of the pillar to look around and practically runs into Gage.", "Lyrics: With somethin' on your shoe She steps back over to the pool table side of the pillar, and Gage follows her around the other way and leans against it.", "Lyrics: Yeah, draggin' it behind you", "Gage: This me-and-my-shadow act? It's getting old. What do you want from me?", "Lyrics: Lookin' kinda foolish", "Buffy: Well, um... (exhales nervously) It's a little embarrassing. You see, I'm a swim groupie.", "Gage: (unconvinced) Aha.", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. (smiles and exhales) You know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby.", "Gage: (disbelieving) Hmm. (turns to go)", "Buffy: (runs around him) Uh, okay, okay, okay. (stops him) Obviously, my s*x appeal is on the fritz today, so I'll just give it to you straight. There's something lurking out there, and it's making fillets of the populace, and I think you might be next.", "Gage: Uh-huh. And you think that because?", "Buffy: Well, it's already attacked. It's already killed some people.", "Gage: You're one twisted sister, you know that? Cam told me about your games. Go find someone else to harass. He bumps her as he walks past her and out of the Bronze. Buffy sighs and looks down in defeat. Cut outside the Bronze. Gage comes striding out.", "Gage: What a psycho bitch, man. Angelus comes out from behind a pile of crates.", "Angelus: Gotta be talking about Buffy.", "Gage: (stops and faces him) How'd you know?", "Angelus: Uh, she and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life.", "Gage: Yeah. My condolences, dude. (turns and goes)", "Angelus: (follows) She's a real head-tripper.", "Gage: Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's God's gift or something.", "Angelus: Who is she? The Chosen One?", "Gage: Exactly.", "Angelus: You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down off her notches.", "Gage: Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind?", "Angelus: You're in luck, my friend. Gage turns to look at Angelus and sees that he has disappeared.", "Angelus: Just so happens... Gage turns back quickly and sees Angelus standing there in front of him in his game face.", "Angelus: ...I'm recruiting. Gage looks horrified as Angelus grabs him and bites his neck.", "Gage: No! Buffy strolls out of the Bronze and hears Gage's screams.", "Gage: Ah! Somebody! Help! Ah! Help! Ah! Ah! Get him off me! Help! Ah! She rushes to his aid. Cut to Angelus. He drops Gage and begins to spit out his blood. He wipes his mouth and spits some more. Buffy comes running around the corner, and just as he looks up she does a roundhouse kick to his face. He isn't fazed, and just looks at her. She pulls out the stick holding her hair up and holds it ready to stake him as her hair falls down around her face.", "Angelus: Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful! He quickly bends down, picks Gage up and throws him at her, knocking her to the pavement. He spits a few more times and leaves smiling. Buffy scrambles to her feet and watches him go. Gage gets up also and rubs his neck.", "Gage: Oh. Was that the thing that killed Cameron?", "Buffy: No. That was something else.", "Gage: (confused) S-something else?", "Buffy: Yeah. Unfortunately, we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night. (goes) Gage looks back and forth between Buffy and the direction Angelus went.", "Gage: Hey! Buffy stops and looks back at him. He goes over to her.", "Gage: (laughs nervously) Walk me home? She motions for him to follow, and they leave.", "Cut to the pool at Sunnydale High School. Six members of the swim team are on the blocks ready to start a heat.", "Coach Marin: Swimmers! Take position! They all bend down to dive in. The coach blows his whistle, and they're off. He walks along the edge of the pool past the stands as they swim. Willow, Buffy and Cordelia are watching from the stands. In the middle of the pool Gage stops, stands up and lifts off his goggles.", "Coach Marin: Keep the stroking up. Alright. Keep it going, keep it going all the way to the end. All the way to the end. Breathe deep. Gage sees Buffy in the stands and waves to her. The coach blows his whistle. Buffy waves back to Gage discreetly, but Willow notices and gives her a smile. Buffy looks back at her with a smile.", "Coach Marin: Gage! You with us or not? (Gage swims off) C'mon, let's go!", "Cordelia: (to Buffy) So he spit it out? I thought Angel liked blood.", "Buffy: He used to.", "Willow: Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach.", "Buffy: Or maybe there was something in Gage's blood that Angel didn't like. Say, for example, steroids.", "Willow: That would explain all their behavioral changes.", "Cordelia: And their winning streak.", "Willow: So maybe whatever's in their blood is what's attracting this creature to them.", "Buffy: Any luck researching our fish monster?", "Cordelia: Zippo. We couldn't find any sea demon that matched the description that Xander gave us. Not that Chicken Little's much of a witness, but... Her eye is caught by a swimmer coming out of the locker room.", "Cordelia: Oh. The camera cuts to a shot of the swimmer's knees and pans up along his athletic legs, past his crimson Speedo's and tight abs and up to his hairless chest.", "Cordelia: Oh! Oh, my! Now, that, girls, is my kind of... The camera reaches the swimmer's face.", "Willow: Xander? (stares in wide-eyed shock)", "Cordelia: (shocked) Xander?! When he hears their voices he scrambles over to a pile of kickboards, grabs the one off the top and hides himself behind it. The girls all get up and come down from the stands. Xander scrambles over to them.", "Cordelia: What the hell are you doing here?", "Xander: Shh! I'm undercover.", "Buffy: Not under much. (grins)", "Cordelia: Get out of here before someone sees you impersonating a member of the swim team!", "Xander: I don't do impersonations. I tried out for the team last night. I made it.", "Cordelia: (intrigued) Really?", "Xander: Yeah. I figured I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can't.", "Willow: (eyes wide) When you're nude? (gets a nudge from Buffy) I-I meant to say 'changing'.", "Coach Marin: Harris! You can flirt on your own time!", "Xander: Okey-dokey, coachie. He backs away and goes to join the rest of the team, covering his butt with his free hand. He lamely tosses the kickboard back onto the pile, but it just falls off. He reaches the others and listens in on what the assistant swim coach is saying.", "Cordelia: (smiles proudly) I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team!", "Buffy: You can die happy. She and Willow watch as Xander gets up on a starting block and puts on his swim cap.", "Buffy: (to Willow) What about Jonathon? Is he involved?", "Willow: Oh, no. He just... sort of... peed in the pool.", "Buffy: Oh. The girls look back at Xander to watch as he dives in. His dive is a bit sloppy, but not at all bad. The girls all look on in wide-eyed shock as they realize what he just dove into.", "Buffy: (cringes) Oh!", "Cut to the steam room after practice. The camera looks in through the window from the locker room. Xander joins the others and finds an available spot.", "Xander: Don't you guys get claustrophobic in here? (sits) I mean, what's the deal? You perspire a lot. You can't breathe. O-or read. I mean, I guess you could, but the pages would probably get all wet. The camera pans down from the window to a grate in the floor of the locker room. Several green, clawed fingers poke through and lift up the grating.", "Cut to the halls outside of the locker room. Buffy waits for Xander and Gage to come out. She leans against the wall and exhales. A moment later Xander comes out with a towel over his head, rubbing his hair dry.", "Xander: You gotta love this undercover deal. Twenty minutes in a hot room with a bunch of sweaty guys...", "Buffy: Where's Gage?", "Xander: I don't know. He was right behind me, putting his sneakers on. But it's not the Velcro kind, so give him a couple of extra minutes.", "(taps her on the shoulder) Tag. You're it. (leaves)", "Buffy sighs and resigns herself to waiting.", "Cut to the locker room. Gage is tying his shoes on a changing bench. He sniffs, smelling something foul. He sniffs at his own armpits to see if it isn't himself he smells. It's not, and he gets up to investigate. He walks through the locker room looking around, passing the steam room and the whirlpool bath. The smell gets stronger as he goes down a row of lockers. He sniffs deeply outside of one and opens it.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy is still waiting for Gage to come out. Suddenly she hears him scream.", "Gage: OH, MY GOD! She wastes no time running into the locker room.", "Cut to the locker room. One of the monsters stands before Gage. It roars as he screams.", "Gage: Help me! Help me! Ah! Help me! Buffy comes rushing in and pushes the terrified Gage away from the monster. The creature roars, and Buffy confronts it with a look of disgust, but it just stands there and doesn't move to attack her. Behind her Gage has collapsed to the floor and continues to scream, not in fear anymore but instead in agony, and writhes on the floor in pain. Buffy looks back at Gage, concerned.", "Buffy: Gage? He reaches out to her for help, but can't get up and continues to convulse. Buffy takes a step closer, but then stops and stares at him in shock. He has managed to get to his knees and pulls open his shirt. Then he grabs at his chest and begins to tear open his skin. Beneath is the chest of another monster. Gage holds up his hand and watches as the skin tears along the back and a green, clawed hand emerges. Buffy takes a quick look behind her at the other monster, but it's not advancing, so she turns back to Gage and continues to watch, dumbfounded. The monster that was Gage now stands up, and what's left of Gage's clothes and skin fall away from him. Buffy stares up at it in horror and starts to back off. It roars, advances on her and takes a swipe at her with its sharp claws. The first monster advances on her from behind now, and she finds herself trapped between them.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The boys' locker room. Buffy is trapped between the two sea creatures. She does a roundhouse kick to the one behind her and uses her angular momentum to follow up with a high kick to the other one, knocking it to the floor. She grabs a trashcan and throws it at the first one, but it just deflects the can. Buffy grabs a mop leaning against the wall and thrusts it at the second monster as it gets up, spins around with it to hit the first one in the face, knocking it down, and then jabs the other one again in the side. It is momentarily stunned, and Buffy follows up with another swing of the mop to its back and a kick to its chest, making it fall to the floor. The first creature is back up, grabs Buffy from behind, turns her around and sinks its sharp teeth deeply into her arm. She screams out in pain. The monster shoves her away into a bank of lockers, and she falls to the floor. Coach Marin suddenly appears and quickly helps her to her feet. The two monsters give up the fight and launch themselves across the floor and slide one after the other into the still-open grate.", "Cut to the school nurse's office. She finishes bandaging Buffy's arm. Giles and the coach are standing behind her by the window.", "Nurse Greenleigh: I don't think that this is going to need stitches, but you might wanna have your family physician take a look at it. (walks off)", "Giles: (approaches Buffy) How are you?", "Buffy: I'm definitely feeling the burn.", "Giles: (to Coach Marin) Well, the, uh, good news is that it would appear that none of your team actually died.", "Buffy: But the bad news is... they're monsters.", "Coach Marin: How could this happen?", "Giles: Are you saying you don't know?", "Coach Marin: Well, you work so hard, you start to win suddenly. You think it's just you. You're inspiring the boys to greatness. But in the back of your mind, you start to wonder.", "Giles: You never asked any of the boys if they were taking anything?", "Coach Marin: Maybe I was afraid to. Buffy and Giles exchange a look.", "Cut to Willow's classroom. She, Buffy and Xander are at the computer surfing through the school medical files.", "Buffy: There.", "Willow: Dodd McAlvy: torn tendon. Gage Petronzi: fractured wrist, depression, headaches.", "Buffy: It's all there in the school medical records.", "Willow: All symptomatic of steroid abuse.", "Xander: But is steroid abuse usually linked with, 'hey, I'm a fish'?", "Willow: There must be something else in the mix. But the point is, these boys were obviously drugged.", "Buffy: And Nurse Greenleigh treated every one of them. She must have known.", "Willow: If steroids are that dangerous, why would they do that to themselves?", "Buffy: They needed to win. And winning equals trophies, which equals prestige for the school. You see how they're treated. It's been like that forever.", "Xander: Sure. The discus throwers got the best seats at all the crucifixions.", "Buffy: Meanwhile, I'm breaking my nails every day battling the forces of evil, and my French teacher can't even remember my name.", "Xander: So what's the drill? Get Nurse Greenleigh?", "Willow: (stands up) (sternly) Let's throw the book at her!", "Buffy: She probably went home for the day. I think it can wait. Xander, why don't you see if you can find out what these boys are taking, or at least how they're taking it? Powders, pills, syringe?", "Xander: I'm Lookin'-Around Guy.", "Willow: What about you?", "Buffy: Giles loaded up the tranquilizer gun. We're going fishing.", "Cut to the sewers. It's dark and very wet. Buffy comes around a corner with a flashlight, scanning as she goes. Behind her Giles follows with his dart gun held ready. They hear a noise ahead of them, and Giles raises the gun to take aim. Buffy shines the flashlight, and they see it was only a rat. She puts her hand on his arm to stop him, and he lowers the rifle. They continue on and come to an intersection in the tunnels. Buffy shines her light down one of them, and gestures to Giles that they should go that way. She takes another quick look in the other directions and begins down the adjacent tunnel. Giles looks around again also, and then follows Buffy. They both walk down past the camera, then it focuses on the tunnel opposite the direction they came, and one of the creatures pokes its head around the corner to watch them as they go around a corner further down the tunnel.", "Cut to the boys' steam room. The entire swim team is relaxing in the fog.", "Xander: I feel good! Lovin' the swimmin'. Had some carrot juice this morning... A little wheat germ mixed in with it. Woke me right up. Nothin' like it, huh? Breakfast of state champions. You betcha. Okay. So... when do we get our next dose?", "Sean: What do you mean?", "Xander: Who's carrying? I need a little something to improve my performance. Give me an edge. Rrr! (chuckles) Sean just looks away.", "Xander: The steroids. Where are they?", "Sean: (chuckles) You're soakin' in it, bud.", "Xander: Huh?", "Sean: (inhales deeply and exhales) Aromatherapy. It's in the steam. Xander gives him a stunned look.", "Cut to the pool. The nurse follows the coach at a brisk pace.", "Nurse Greenleigh: This has *got* to stop, Carl. Those poor children.", "Coach Marin: What, are you a quitter? We got no room for quitters on *this* team.", "Nurse Greenleigh: Do you even understand what's happening? Listen to yourself.", "Coach Marin: I'm very close to perfecting this. We just need to adjust the mix. They head down some stairs to the pool equipment room below.", "Nurse Greenleigh: Carl. You can't be thinking of continuing to expose these boys.", "Coach Marin: They're gonna be the best. I don't accept anything less.", "Nurse Greenleigh: They're gonna be monsters. Carl, please. Don't make it any worse. You've already lost three. The coach stops and looks at the nurse.", "Coach Marin: Lost? Why, they're not lost. He grabs her by the arms, pulls her around and shoves her down into a hole to a pool of water in the sewers below. She screams as she falls. The water is not deep, and she quickly gets to her feet, wipes the water from her eyes and looks up at him through the hole.", "Nurse Greenleigh: Carl! What are you doing?!", "Coach Marin: I'm just lookin' after my boys. They may be out of the game right now, but they're still a team. And a team's gotta eat. He lifts the grating back into place.", "Nurse Greenleigh: Carl!", "Coach Marin: You quitter. He stands there to watch. Nurse Greenleigh looks around and begins to panic. Suddenly she screams and gets pulled under the water. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Xander paces. Giles gets up from cleaning his glasses and heads for the table, where Willow and Buffy are sitting. Cordelia is on the stairs to the mezzanine level behind the table.", "Giles: They're absorbing the steroid mixture through the steam.", "Xander: (follows him) Not they. We. Me! We have to find an antidote, don't you think? The clock is ticking, people!", "Buffy: I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. I mean, it's not like you were exposed more than once. (gets a worried look from Xander) Twice?", "Xander: Three times a Fish Guy. (crosses his arms)", "Buffy and Willow: Oh...", "Cordelia: Whoa.", "Xander: What am I gonna do?", "Cordelia: You, you, you. What about me? It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the creature from the Blue Lagoon.", "Xander: (paces over to her) Black Lagoon. The creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you *so* much for your support!", "(sits by her)", "Buffy: (quietly to Giles and Willow) I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.", "Giles: Yes. Yes, good. Uh, we also need to know exactly what's in this, this steroid gas so that the hospital's toxicology lab can develop an antidote.", "Willow: (stands up) Well, I'll talk to Nurse Greenleigh.", "Buffy: You're really getting into this interrogation thing.", "Willow: The trick is not to leave any marks. (leaves)", "Buffy: (gets up) On that note, I think I'm gonna go have a little talk with our coach. Somehow, I doubt all he's been giving these boys is inspiration. (leaves)", "Cut to the pool equipment room. The coach leads Buffy to the same hole through which he shoved Nurse Greenleigh.", "Coach Marin: You got some imagination, missy.", "Buffy: Oh, well right now, I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big, orange suit, and, oh, look, the guards are beating you up.", "Coach Marin: You don't have any proof.", "Buffy: (stops following) (sternly) Tell me what's in the steam.", "Coach Marin: (faces her) After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came into light detailing experiments with fish DNA on their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon... mako, shark... But they couldn't crack it.", "Buffy: And you did... sort of. Why?", "Coach Marin: What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the state championship?", "Buffy: Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not gonna be any swim team.", "Coach Marin: Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?", "Buffy: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity.", "The coach reaches into the desk behind him and pulls out a Beretta 9mm semi-automatic pistol. He pulls back the hammer and points the gun at Buffy.", "Buffy: Which you obviously skipped.", "Coach Marin: Get in the hole! (indicates with the gun) Buffy looks down at the hole and back up at the coach.", "Coach Marin: In! Now! She sits down on the edge with her legs dangling in and looks up at him.", "Buffy: This isn't over.", "Coach Marin: In! She gives him one last look and drops herself into the water below. It's about a fifteen-foot drop, so she submerges completely and comes back up soaked through and wiping the water from her eyes. She looks up at the coach leaning over the hole.", "Coach Marin: You think I don't care about my boys. But I do. They count on me. Buffy understands now, and looks around for the monsters. When she turns back around she screams at the sight of what's left of Nurse Greenleigh's body as it floats by. She looks back up at the coach.", "Buffy: So, what, you're just gonna feed me to 'em?", "Coach Marin: Oh, they've already had their dinner. But boys have other needs.", "Cut to the pool. Xander and Cordelia come walking in looking for other members of the swim team. Xander is rubbing his neck, expecting to find gills growing there.", "Cordelia: No one. Willow and Giles must've rounded up the rest of the swim team.", "Xander: Does my neck look scaly to you?", "Cordelia: Well, of course it looks scaly, the way you've been rubbing it dry like an idiot.", "Xander: I need to look in a mirror. Wait here. But feel free to come in if you hear me scream. He runs off into the locker room. Cordelia keeps walking around the pool. She hears a door close and glances behind her, but sees no one. She continues along the side of the pool. She hears a door open, and assumes it's Xander.", "Cordelia: Any gills yet? Behind her a creature comes in and jumps into the pool. She looks into the pool, but at first can't make out the monster because of the splash on the surface.", "Cordelia: Xander, what are you doing? (giggles) Xander? The creature swims beyond the splash, and Cordelia can see it clearly now.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God! Xander! She walks along the edge of the pool, following the monster as it swims under water.", "Cordelia: (very upset) It's me, Cordelia? I know you can't answer me, but... God, this is all my fault. You joined the swim team to impress me. You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those Speedo's. (chuckles) And I want you to know that I still care about you, no matter what you look like. And... and we can still date. Or, or not. I mean... I understand if you wanna see other fish. (crouches by the edge) I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better. Whether that means little bath toys or whatever. Xander walks up behind her.", "Xander: Uh, Cordy? Cordelia spins around quickly, startled, and draws a frightened breath.", "Xander: (points into the pool) That's not me. They both look at the creature. It suddenly makes a lunge for them from the water, and Cordelia screams. Xander pulls her up and away, and they run from the pool area.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God!", "Cut to the library. Giles leads the other swim team members into the cage.", "Giles: I-in you go. They are all a bit confused, but obey none the less.", "Giles: Stay calm, chaps. (closed the door) Either we'll find an effective antidote, or, or, uh... S-stay calm. (goes to Willow)", "Willow: Everyone's accounted for except Sean. Xander and Cordelia come into the library.", "Cordelia: I think we can safely say we've found Sean. He was in the pool skinless-dipping.", "Xander: Where's Buffy?", "Willow: She hasn't come back yet.", "Cut to the sewers. The camera pans around the pool of water. One of the monsters pokes its head out of the water behind a pillar and observes Buffy. The camera continues until it stops on her.", "Buffy: Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team. Another one of the creatures pokes its head up to look at Buffy. She makes a tentative jump to see about getting out of there. She hears them growl, and looks around. The one by the pillar submerges again and begins to swim. Buffy looks into the water to try to see where they are. Cut underwater. One of them swims right past her legs. She sees its head emerge further away from her, and draws a frightened breath.", "Cut to the pool equipment room. Xander walks in and spots the coach leaning over the hole and gloating.", "Xander: What's up, coach?", "Coach Marin: (looks back, startled) Oh! Harris. Uh... (stands up) how you feelin'?", "Xander: Little dry. Nothing a lemon butter sauce won't cure. They both chuckle nervously.", "Xander: Where's Buffy? The coach's eyes focus on his gun laying on a barrel just behind Xander.", "Cut to below. Buffy keeps looking for the sea monsters. One suddenly rises up behind her and lunges at her. She quickly grabs it and throws it aside. Another one comes for her, and she deflects it into the wall, but loses her balance and falls underwater. One grabs her leg, and she kicks out. She grabs it and throws it off of her. Standing again, she grabs another one's arm as it attacks her and flips it over into the wall. Cut above. Coach Marin makes a grab for his gun, but Xander grabs his arm, pounds it into the barrel and makes him drop it. He elbows the coach in the face, who falls over unconscious. Cut below. Buffy knocks and flips the monsters away as they each come for her in turn. Soon they've had enough, and the three of them surround her and slowly close in. Cut above. Xander steps over to the hole and looks down. When he sees what's going on below he quickly lies down and reaches into the hole with his arm.", "Xander: Buffy, hurry! Your hand! Buffy looks up and sees him there. She takes a breath, crouches down into the water and leaps up the ten feet to grab Xander's hand.", "Xander: Hold on! He starts to pull for all he's worth. Below the creatures paw at Buffy's legs, trying to pull her back down. Two of them grab hold, and she kicks and flails to shake them off. The monsters can't keep hold of her, and fall into the water.", "Buffy: Pull!", "Xander: Hold on! He pulls again, but he's not as strong as he thinks and it goes slowly. One of the monsters leaps up and grabs Buffy's leg again. She kicks it with her free leg and it goes tumbling down. Xander pulls again as Buffy raises her legs up out of the creature's reach. Slowly she emerges from the hole and climbs onto the floor, coughing and panting.", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Xander: Just doin' my part for our team. Behind him the coach has regained consciousness, and hits Xander across the back with a large pipe wrench.", "Buffy: Oh! He starts to take a swing at Buffy with it, too, but she ducks away and trips him with her leg. He falls and screams as he rolls into the hole. Buffy reacts fast and grabs his ankle.", "Coach Marin: Don't let go! Don't let go of me! Hold me! Buffy can't maintain her grip, and he falls into the water below. The coach stands up in the water, shaking it out of his face and coughing.", "Buffy: (reaches down) Grab my hand! He's too busy being worried about his sea monsters surrounding him to listen to what Buffy is saying.", "Coach Marin: Boys! Boys, uh, now, now, boys! No! I... They attack him.", "Coach Marin: No, boys! He screams and struggles as they pull him under. Buffy pulls her arm back up.", "Buffy: Those boys really love their coach.", "Cut to the school lounge. Willow and Buffy are sitting on one of the couches opposite Xander and Cordelia on the other.", "Xander: Let's see. I gotta take a make-up chem test at three. And then I'm meetin' some of the guys for plasma transfusions at five. It's turned into quite the busy afternoon.", "Buffy: The fun never stops with you, does it?", "Willow: Giles seems pretty confident that the treatments are gonna work.", "Xander: Well, turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turn twenty.", "Cordelia: (to Xander) I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me. And you don't have to join the new team next year if you don't want. I'd be just as happy if you played football. (smiles) Buffy and Willow exchange an amused look. Giles comes up the steps to them.", "Giles: The... people from animal control have just left. Our creatures have apparently made a, a dash for it. Um... so to speak.", "Willow: Does that mean we're gonna have to hunt them again?", "Buffy: No, I don't think so. I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore.", "Giles: Where do you think they'll go?", "Buffy: Home.", "Cut to the beach. The camera pans over the waves rolling in. The three monsters are in the surf and begin to swim out to sea." ]

[ "Kendra's Watcher sends her back to Sunnydale because a dark power is rising: Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla have found a petrified demon called Acathla and plans to perform a ritual that will allow Acathla to wake up and suck every living thing on the planet into hell." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. A town square in Galway, Ireland, 1753. The camera looks straight down from above onto the cobblestones. A lone rider on his horse passes underneath, and the camera follows them past a well as Angelus narrates.", "Angelus: There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not. I'll show you what I mean. The horseman continues past a tavern on the far side of the square. The door opens, and a young drunk Angel and his drunk friend are thrown out.", "Angel: (with an Irish accent) We'll be back when we've found a bit more cash money! Keep the girls warm! The tavern proprietor slams the door shut, and Angel pounds on it a couple of times.", "Angel's friend: (moans) Let's go. Angel staggers back over to him and puts his arm around him. They begin to walk with a definite sway in their step.", "Angel: Come on. We'll sneak in and take some of me father's silver. He'll never miss it. He eats with his hands, the pig. His friend is too drunk to go on, and faints dead away, falling out of Angel's arm to the pavement. Angel looks down at him.", "Angel: Ah. Why don't you rest right here. He takes a look around and spots a noble lady in a fancy period dress standing in an alley beyond an archway. The woman gives a slight backward glance to be sure she has his attention, and starts to walk further into the alley, disappearing around a corner from Angel's view. He follows her.", "Cut to the alley. The woman continues her slow pace and looks up when Angel comes through the archway and begins to speak. As she gets closer to the camera it becomes clear that the woman is Darla. Her long curly blonde hair is very nicely coiffed.", "Angel: So, I'd ask myself... What's a lady of your station doing alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has?", "Darla: (still facing away) Maybe she's lonely.", "Angel: In that case, I'd offer myself as escort to protect you from harm and to while away the dull hours.", "Darla: You're very gracious.", "Angel: Hm. It's often been said.", "Darla: (turns to face him) Are you certain you're up to the challenge?", "Angel: (approaches her) Milady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest day's work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face. He stops in front of her and looks into her eyes.", "Angel: Oh... But you're a pretty thing. Where are you from?", "Darla: (smiles) Around. Everywhere.", "Angel: I never been anywhere myself. Always wanted to see the world, but...", "Darla: I could show you. (smiles)", "Angel: Could you, then?", "Darla: Things you've never seen, never even heard of.", "Angel: Sounds exciting.", "Darla: It is. And frightening.", "Angel: I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world.", "Darla: (closes her eyes) Close your eyes. Angel follows her example. The camera follows her hand as she puts it on his shoulder, and continues up to show her face vamped out. She smiles, lets out a low growl and opens wide as she leans in to bite him. When he feels the pain his eyes open wide, and he gasps. He can't keep steady, and sinks to his knees. Darla lets go of her bite, revealing his bloody neck, and stands up straight. She lifts her hand to her chest and draws a sharp fingernail across the skin above her breasts, allowing blood to trickle out. She grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him in to her bosom so that his lips fall directly onto the cut, forcing him to taste of her blood. He puts his arms around her and drinks.", "Cut to the cemetery in Sunnydale, 1998. Angelus walks through carefully and quietly while watching Buffy fight a pair of vampires nearby. He sees her kick one and then the other, and then continues on to a better vantage point. One of the vampires rushes Buffy, and she flips him over onto his back.", "Buffy: Nice try. The other one comes at her again with a swing. She ducks it and punches him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. He falls to the ground, dazed. The first one comes at her again with a kick, but she blocks it with her arm, backhand punches him in the face, jabs him in the gut and grabs his arm, twisting it up high and forcing him to his knees in pain. Angelus looks on from behind a tree and smiles. The second vampire gets back up and rushes her. Without letting go of the first one she cleanly jams her stake into the other one's chest, and he crumbles into ashes. Angelus can't help but snicker. Buffy turns her attention back to the one she's holding and punches him in the face, making him roll away.", "Buffy: I want you to get a message to Angel for me. Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him. Angelus smiles as he listens.", "Buffy: You got that? Need me to write it down for you? The vampire gets up and charges her. She grabs him and pulls him around and down to the ground, and immediately plunges her stake home. He bursts into ashes.", "Buffy: Alright, I'll tell him myself. She gets up and walks over behind a gravestone, where she reaches down to help someone up.", "Xander: (moans) I'm good. Don't worry about me. (rubs his neck)", "Buffy: You know, you don't have to patrol with me.", "Xander: (indicates the pile of ash) I had that guy under control until he resorted to fisticuffs. (cranes his neck) Oh! What is that, um... five vampires in three nights?", "Buffy: Yep. But no Angel.", "Xander: Are you, uh, really that anxious to come up against him?", "Buffy: I want it over with.", "Xander: (nods) I hear that.", "Buffy: Oh, we better go. (exhales) I haven't even started studying for finals yet. (starts to go)", "Xander: (joins her) Oh, yeah, finals! Why didn't you let me die?", "Buffy: Ah, look on the bright side. It'll all be over soon. They leave the cemetery under the watchful eyes of Angelus.", "Angelus: Yes, my love. It will. He smirks and turns to leave the other way. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The research lab at the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History. The camera pans across a large rectangular chunk of rock over to a technician. She is carefully cleaning off a section of the rock. She lets a jet of compressed air blow away some dust. A moment later she lets another jet go, and then reaches up with a brush and runs it across the rock. Dr. Doug Perren, one of the museum curators, comes over to check her progress.", "Doug: Careful, now. (points) Concentrate in this area. (watches her work a moment) There you go. The door opens behind him, and he turns to see Giles come in.", "Giles: Hello?", "Doug: (comes to greet him) Rupert Giles?", "Giles: Yes.", "Doug: Doug Perren. (shakes his hand) Thanks for coming.", "Giles: Oh, not at all. It's... flattered to be asked.", "Doug: I spoke with Lou Tabor at the Washington Institute, and he told me we had the best authority on obscure relics right here in Sunnydale.", "Giles: Oh... (laughs) He may have, uh, exaggerated a little. (sees the obelisk) Ah, is this the...", "Doug: This is our baby. (they approach it) Construction workers dug it up outside of town. Don't have a clue what it is. Any ideas?", "Giles: (touches and looks at the rock) A few. None I'd care to share until I can verify. (notices the runes on it) You have, uh, carbon dated it? (inspects the writings)", "Doug: The results'll be back in a couple of days. I'll go out on a limb and say old.", "Giles: (smirks) Um, yes, it, it certainly... (picks up a jar and a scraper) predates any, uh... settlements we've read about. (points) Um, may, may I?", "Doug: Yeah. Sure. Giles leans in and begins to scrape at the corner of the obelisk, catching the debris in the jar. He digs into an apparent groove. A few scrapes later he stops and taps the scraper clean on the jar.", "Giles: I assume you've, uh, you haven't tried to open it.", "Doug: Open it? He leans over to see what Giles has discovered.", "Doug: Ah, I'll be damned. I figured it was solid. What do you think is in there?", "Giles: (staring intently) I don't know.", "Doug: Well... I guess we won't know until we open it up.", "Giles: (considers) Yes, but could I ask, um... would you wait? I, uh... I'd like to work on translating the text. It-it-it might give us an indication of... what we'll find inside.", "Doug: You don't want to be surprised?", "Giles: A-as a rule, no.", "Doug: Alright. You're the expert. But I'm pretty damn curious, though.", "Giles: (removes his glasses) Yes. Yes, so am I.", "Cut to the cafeteria at Sunnydale High. The camera focuses on two fish sticks that Xander is holding, one with a toothpick stuck through the middle. He plays with them like puppets, moving the one with the toothpick around.", "Xander: Tell Angel I'm gonna kill him! No, wait. I'm gonna kill you! He starts to repeatedly stab the toothpick into the other fish stick. The camera pulls back and up to his face.", "Xander: Die! Die! Die! He makes an anguished face and lets the fish stick fall.", "Xander: Aah! (makes a thudding noise) (squeals) Mother! (smiles)", "Cordelia: Is that it?", "Xander: Yeah. That's it. (chuckles) Scene! (grins)", "Cut to Willow, Oz and Buffy at the opposite side of the table. Willow is sitting on Oz's lap.", "Buffy: That's exactly how it happened.", "Oz: Well, I thought it was riveting. Uh, I was a little unclear about some of the themes.", "Buffy: The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face-to- face.", "Xander: (still playing with the fish sticks) And the other theme was 'Buy American', but it, uh, got kind of buried.", "Willow: (to Buffy) Do you think you're ready to fight Angel?", "Buffy: I wish people would stop asking me that. Yes, I'm ready. I'm also willing and able. Just the one test I might actually pass.", "Willow: Don't say that! You're gonna pass everything. I will get you through this semester if I have to sweat blood.", "Xander: Do you think you're likely to? 'Cause I'd like to be elsewhere.", "Willow: It was only metaphor blood.", "Oz: I think you'd sweat cute blood.", "Willow: (gives Oz a smile) (to Buffy) Sixth period, after my computer class, we'll rock on chemistry.", "Buffy: Ready to rock.", "Cordelia: Boy, Willow, you've really got the teaching bug: taking over computer class, tutoring...", "Willow: (smiles widely) I love it. I really do.", "Cordelia: I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way you're not falling back on something. You're falling... well, forward.", "Xander: (rolls his eyes) And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best?", "Cordelia: Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser-being?", "Xander: I will teach... (with a French accent) zee Language of Love!", "(reaches for her)", "Cordelia: (fights him off) Don't touch me! You have fish hands!", "Snyder comes into the cafeteria behind them.", "Xander: Come, let me caress you!", "Cordelia: Stop it!", "Xander: Let me in!", "Cordelia: No! (laughs) Don't!", "Snyder: That's enough of that. (to Willow) And you! Are we having a chair shortage?", "Willow: I didn't read anything about... Oh. (slides off of Oz's lap and into her chair) I get it.", "Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my school. This isn't an orgy, people. It's a classroom.", "Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch.", "Snyder: (glares at her) Just give me a reason to kick you out, Summers. Just give me a reason. (walks off)", "Cordelia: How about because you're a tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?", "Buffy: Sums it up.", "Cordelia: Don't you think?", "Willow: (smiles) (to Buffy) Do you wanna come by my house tonight and study, too?", "Buffy: Maybe. I-I do have to patrol.", "Willow: Again? Do you really expect Angel to turn up tonight?", "Buffy: No, I don't expect him to. But that's usually when he does.", "Cut to an abbey in London, 1860. Cut inside the nave. Monks are chanting. Drusilla walks behind the pews toward the confession booths. Before going in she faces the altar, kneels and crosses herself. She looks up briefly before getting back to her feet and going into one of the booths. As she steps in through the curtain an arm juts out of the adjacent one where the priest waits, and muffled noises and struggling can be heard. The arm gets pulled back in as quickly as it appeared. Cut inside the confessional. Drusilla sits down and pulls the scarf from her head.", "Drusilla: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. In the next booth Angelus is caught by surprise, and drops the dead priest.", "Drusilla: It's been two days since my last confession. (waits for an answer) Father?", "Angelus: (goes along with it) That's not very long.", "Drusilla: (with a trembling voice) Oh, Father, I'm so afraid.", "Angelus: The Lord is very forgiving. Tell me your sins.", "Drusilla: I had... (breathes deeply) I've been seeing again, Father. Yesterday, the men were going to work in the mine. I had... (shakes) a terrible fright. (draws a frightened breath) My stomach all (draws another) tied up, and I saw this horrible... crash. (calms a bit) My mummy said to keep my peace, it didn't mean nothing. But this morning... they had a cave-in. Two men died.", "Angelus: Go on.", "Drusilla: Me mum says... I'm cursed. (exhales) My seeing things is an affront to the Lord, (inhales sharply) that only he's supposed to see anything before it happens. (inhales, sobs) But I don't mean to, Father, I swear! (inhales) I swear! (begins to cry) I try to be pure in his sight. (sobs) I don't want to be an evil thing.", "Angelus: Oh, hush, child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a Devil child like you.", "Drusilla: (taken aback) A Devil?", "Angelus: Yes! You're a spawn of Satan. All the Hail Marys in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that.", "Drusilla: (frightened) What can I do?", "Angelus: Fulfill his plan, child. Be evil. Just give in.", "Drusilla: No! (sobs) I want to be good. (sobs) I want to be pure.", "Angelus: We all do, at first. The world doesn't work that way.", "Drusilla: Father... I beg you... Please... Please, help me.", "Angelus: Very well. Ten Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition. Does that sound good?", "Drusilla: (relieved) Yes. (exhales) Yes, Father. Thank you.", "Angelus: The pleasure was mine. And my child... (raises his hand to the lattice between them)", "Drusilla: Yes?", "Angelus: (stares at her) God is watching you.", "Cut to the atrium at Angelus' mansion, 1998. Drusilla comes down the stairs to the garden below. There Spike sits in his wheelchair and reads the newspaper.", "Spike: Nice walk, pet?", "Drusilla: (holds her tummy as though sick) I met an old man. Didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth. (licks her fingers) (faces Spike) But then the Moon started whispering to me... (closes her eyes and leans her head back) All sorts of dreadful things. Angelus walks into the Garden behind Spike.", "Angelus: Well, what did it say?", "Spike: Oh. Look who's awake. Angelus bumps Spike's head with his fist as he walks past him.", "Angelus: What did the Moon tell you? (walks around Dru) Did you have a vision? Is something coming?", "Drusilla: Oh, yeah. (whispers) Something terrible. Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst...", "Angelus: Where?", "Drusilla: At the museum. A tomb... (smiles) with a surprise inside.", "Angelus: (holds his hand up to her head) You can see all that in your head?", "Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper. (hands over the paper)", "Angelus: (takes the paper and looks) Oh, my. The headline of the Sunnydale Press reads 'Mysterious Obelisk Unearthed'. The article's subtitle reads 'Excavators Discover Ancient Artifact'.", "Drusilla: That's what's been whispering to me. Sh.", "Angelus: Oh, yeah. (to Drusilla) Don't worry, though. Soon it'll stop. (to Spike) Soon it'll scream. He smiles over at Spike. Drusilla waves her head around open-mouthed and playfully snaps at Angelus' cheek.", "Cut to the computer science classroom after school. Willow is tutoring Buffy in chemistry. Buffy gives up in frustration and slaps down her pencil.", "Buffy: Waah! This doesn't make any sense. (pouts at Willow)", "Willow: Well, sure it does. See... (takes the paper and looks) Oh, no, this doesn't make any sense.", "Buffy: (shrugs) It's senseless. (plays with her pencil)", "Willow: (encouragingly) It is, but at least you know that, so you're learning. (looks at the problem more closely)", "Buffy: Yay me. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna need chemistry or history or math or the English language?", "Willow: (shoots Buffy a glance) Okay. I see your problem.", "Buffy: I'm a moron?", "Willow: (gives Buffy a look) Will you stop that? You're not stupid! You've just had a lot on your mind. You can learn this real easily, but if you're just gonna give up, then don't waste my time.", "Buffy: (impressed) Wow. You really *are* a good teacher. (smiles)", "Willow: Okay. Look at this. A covalent bond, which means these two atoms are linked by this... Buffy puts her pencil down on her open book, and it rolls off of the desk and into the space between it and the filing cabinet next to it.", "Buffy: Ohh! (moans) Hold that thought. She reaches down and in with her fingers, and pulls the pencil out. In the process she bumps the disk with the pencil so it now leans against the desk instead of the cabinet.", "Buffy: (sits back up) Okay. I'm Learn Girl.", "Willow: Okay. (points to the paper) So, see here...", "Buffy: (has an epiphany) Deja vu.", "Willow: Really?", "Buffy: Yeah. I have this perfect memory of the pencil and... She drops the pencil onto her book again. It rolls off of the desk again, falls and hits the disk. She looks over into the space and sees the disk. She reaches down again for it and her pencil.", "Buffy: Oh, hey. (pulls up the disk and pencil) You dropped this. She hands the unlabeled yellow disk to Willow, who looks at it curiously.", "Willow: It's not mine. It might be something of Ms. Calendar's. She inserts the disk into her laptop's floppy drive.", "Buffy: This feels kinda morbid.", "Willow: (smiles at Buffy) I've gone through most of her files already.", "Buffy: Does that make it *less* morbid or you *really* morbid? The program on the disk starts up, and the Rumanian text scrolls into the left-hand window.", "Willow: (sighs) I had to, to teach her class. The translation program's percent complete window appears, and the bar begins to zip across the screen.", "Buffy: Relax, Will. I was making with the funny. They both watch as the bar reaches the far side. It disappears, and the English translation scrolls into the right-hand window.", "Buffy: (looks closely) Does that say 'restoration'? (keeps reading)", "Willow: It's one of her spells, I think. (looks at Buffy) Ms. Calendar wasn't a practicing witch, but she did dabble...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Willow... (keeps reading) Willow looks back at the screen and begins reading more. She quickly realizes what they've found.", "Willow: Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. The camera closes in on Buffy. She has stopped reading, and just looks stunned. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ A wood in Rumania, 1898. Angelus runs through the trees, panting in his desperation to reach a gypsy camp. Cut to the camp. The camera pans across the dead body of the young Kalderash Gypsy girl that Angelus has recently killed. She is on a table dressed in white and lying on an intricately patterned quilt with candles burning around the perimeter. Members of the clan are laying rose petals on her. The camera continues to pan over to the Elder Woman sitting beneath a tent canopy and chanting over an Orb of Thesulah surrounded by candles within a sacred circle. Angelus continues running through the woods as she chants.", "Elder Woman: Nici mort, nici de-al fiintei, Te invoc, spirit al trecerii. Reda trupului ce separa omul de animal!", "Translation: Neither dead, nor of the living, I invoke you, spirit of the passing. Return to the body what distinguishes Man from the beast! Angelus breaks through the trees into the clearing of the camp. He trips and falls by the great bonfire raging near the center of the camp.", "Elder Woman: Asa sa fie.", "Translation: So it shall be. He gets to his hands and knees and looks over at the Elder Woman, still chanting. Cut to the Elder Woman.", "Elder Woman: Utrespur aceastui.", "Translation: Restore this one. The glowing Orb suddenly gets very bright for an instant, and then goes dark. Cut to Angelus. His eyes grow bright for a moment, then return to normal, his soul now restored. An elder man of the clan steps up to him as he sits back on his ankles.", "Gypsy Man: It hurts, yes? Good. It will hurt more.", "Angel: (confused) Where am I? (pants hard)", "Gypsy Man: You don't remember... everything you've done for a hundred years. In a moment, you will. The face of everyone you killed... our daughter's face... they will haunt you, and you will know what true suffering is.", "Angel: (still not understanding) Killed? I, I don't... Slowly the memories come back to him: all the people in Budapest after the earthquake that he and Darla killed for their blood; all the people he's turned into demons; the gypsy girl that proved to be his downfall.", "Angel: No... He looks down away from the man and begins to sob.", "Angel: No... No... No... He bends down to the ground in sorrow and grief.", "Cut to the library at Sunnydale High School, 1998. Xander and Cordelia are sitting at the table. Giles walks up to Buffy and Willow.", "Giles: What are you saying?", "Buffy: The curse. (holds out a printout) This is it.", "Willow: Looks like Ms. Calendar was trying to replicate the original curse. To restore Angel's soul again.", "Giles: (takes the printout, stares at it) She said it couldn't be done.", "Buffy: Well, she tried anyway. And it looks like it might have worked.", "Xander: So he killed her... before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh? (looks away)", "Cordelia: This is good, right? I mean, we can curse him again. Buffy paces, thinking.", "Giles: Um, well, this, um... certainly points the way, but... the ritual itself requires a greater knowledge of the black arts than I, I, I can claim.", "Willow: Well, I've been going through her files and, and researching the black arts, for fun, or educational fun, and I may be able to work this.", "Giles: (very concerned) W-Willow... channeling... such potent magicks through yourself, it could open a door that you may not be able to close.", "Buffy: I don't want you putting yourself in any danger, Will.", "Willow: And I don't want danger. Big 'no' to danger, but I may be the best person to do this.", "Xander: Hi! For those of you who have just tuned in, (gets up) everyone here is a crazy person. (walks to the end of the table) So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle. (harshly) Who cares?", "Buffy: I care.", "Xander: (not surprised) Is that right.", "Giles: Let's not lose our perspective here, Xander. Willow looks at Xander, disbelieving what she's hearing from him.", "Xander: (standing his ground) I'm Perspective Guy. Angel's a killer.", "Willow: Xander...", "Buffy: It's not that simple.", "Xander: (disgusted) What? All is forgiven? I can't believe you people!", "Cordelia: (gets up) Xander has a point.", "Xander: (to Cordelia, in a raised voice) You know, just for once, I wish you'd support me, and I realize right now that you were, and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point, (to the others) which is that Angel needs to die.", "Giles: Curing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish.", "Xander: Yeah? Well, Jenny's dead.", "Giles: (approaches Xander angrily) Don't you *ever* speak of her in that tone again!", "Xander: (yells back) Can't you hear what I'm saying? They begin to argue heatedly. Buffy rushes over and gets between them.", "Buffy: Stop it! Stop it! They all shut up and glare at each other for a moment. Buffy turns away and goes over to Willow, very upset. Giles paces away, also very upset.", "Willow: (quietly) What do you wanna do?", "Buffy: (sighs) (quietly) I-I don't know. What happened to Angel wasn't his fault.", "Xander: Yeah, but what happened to Ms. Calendar is. Buffy and Willow stare at him in disbelief.", "Xander: (very coldly) You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back. Buffy refuses to listen to any more of this, and walks out of the library. Willow and Giles just stare at Xander in surprise and shock. He walks back to his chair at the table.", "Cut to the museum research lab. Dr. Perren is going over his notes when he hears some whispering coming from behind him. He turns around to look, but no one's there.", "Doug: Hello? He gets up and slowly walks over to the obelisk. The whispering gets louder as he nears it. He reaches up to the runes on the face of the rock and touches them. The whispering seems to be coming from inside. He places his hand flat on the face of the rock and stares up at it in amazement. Suddenly Drusilla wraps her hand around his mouth from behind and pulls his head back to expose his neck. She leans in and bites him hard as he struggles to get away. Behind her Angelus and two other vampires approach the obelisk.", "Angelus: I'll have one of these to go. The two vampires walk around the rock with some rope and tools to haul it away.", "Angelus: Dru... She jerks her head up from her victim and turns her eyes toward him, growling and smiling a most evil smile.", "Angelus: Save me some.", "Cut to Buffy's room at home. She piles a bunch of stakes and crosses into her bag while talking on the phone with Willow.", "Buffy: Well, I'll do a couple of sweeps, and then I'll stop by. (listens) Yeah, Xander was pretty much being a... Willow! Where did you learn that word? My God. You kiss your mother with that mouth? She goes over to her desk while listening to Willow talk some more. She grabs a couple more stakes from the top left drawer.", "Buffy: I don't know. I don't know what I wanna do. At the bottom of the drawer she sees the claddagh ring that Angel gave her, and stares at it sadly for a moment. She reaches in for it and holds it gently with her fingers, remembering.", "Buffy: I'll, I'll see you in a little while, okay? She turns off the phone and sets it down. She holds the ring with both hands again and gazes at the design: two hands for friendship, a crown for loyalty and a heart for love.", "Cut to the park. Buffy walks through on patrol and heads into some bushes. She stops and jerks her head aside when she hears something snap. Slowly she takes a few more steps to investigate. She hears another sound behind her, and spins around to look. Nothing. Again she takes a couple of steps. Suddenly Kendra comes out of the bushes to stand right behind her. Buffy instantly pivots around with her fist held up, ready to punch. She stays herself when she recognizes the other girl.", "Buffy: (exhales) You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you.", "Kendra: (in her accent) Just wanted to test your reflexes.", "Buffy: How about testing my face-punching? 'Cause I think you'll find it's improved.", "Kendra: I was on my way to your house. Saw you walking. Couldn't help meself.", "Buffy: (smiles) Which begs the question, and don't think I'm not glad to see you, but, why are you here? (Kendra starts to answer) Oh, wait. No, let me guess. Your watcher informed you (imitating her accent) dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.", "Kendra: Dat's about it.", "Buffy: Great. So, you have any idea what this dark power is?", "Cut to the main hall in Angelus' mansion. He and Drusilla walk in across the marble floor to where Spike is sitting in his wheelchair, staring at the obelisk set in front of the huge fireplace.", "Spike: (hears them coming) It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.", "Angelus: Spike, boy, you never did learn your history.", "Spike: Let's have a lesson, then.", "Angelus: Acathla the demon came forth to swallow the world. (strolls to the obelisk) He was killed by a virtuous knight who pierced the demon's heart before he could draw a breath to perform the act. Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried (turns to face Spike) where neither man nor demon would want to look. (starts away from the obelisk) Unless of course they're putting up low-rent housing. Boys... The two vampires reach up with crowbars and pry open the tomb. The lid crashes to the floor, stirring up plenty of dust. Inside is a tall, horned, stockily built stone demon with a sword protruding from the right side of its chest. Upon seeing him Drusilla closes her eyes, raises her hands to the sides of her head and begins to sway it back and forth.", "Drusilla: He fills my head. I can't hear anything else.", "Spike: Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword...", "Angelus: Someone worthy...", "Spike: Mm. The demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues.", "Drusilla: (opens her eyes, lowers her arms) He will swallow the world.", "Angelus: And every creature living on this planet will go to Hell. He walks up to Acathla for a closer look, and turns to face the others.", "Angelus: My friends... we're about to make history... end. (smiles evilly)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles comes out of his office into the main room where Buffy and Kendra are waiting at the table. Willow is behind the counter, researching in a book.", "Giles: I've been on the phone to the museum. The artifact in question is missing, and the curator has been murdered. Vampires. (leans on the table)", "Buffy: And you're sure this was the tomb of Alfalfa?", "Giles: Acathla. And yes, the information provided by Kendra's Watcher seems conclusive. He straightens back up. Willow walks out from behind the counter.", "Willow: Okay, somebody explain the whole 'he will suck the world into Hell' thing, because that's the part I'm not loving.", "Giles: Well, the, uh, (puts on his glasses) the Demon Universe exists in a dimension separate from our own. (sits on the table) With one breath, Acathla will create a vortex, a-a kind of, um... whirlpool that will pull everything on Earth into that dimension, where any non-demon life will suffer horrible and... eternal torment.", "Buffy: So that would be the literal kind of 'sucked into Hell'. (smiles nervously) Neat. (frowns, turns to Willow) Willow, I think you should try the curse.", "Kendra: I tend to side with your friend Xander on this one. Angel should be eliminated.", "Buffy: Oh, I'll fight him. I'll kill him if I have to. But if I don't get there in time, or if I lose, then Willow might be our only hope.", "Willow: (taken aback) I don't *wanna* be our only hope! Uh, I crumble under pressure! Let's have another hope.", "Kendra: We have. (pulls a sword from her bag) Blessed by the knight who first slew the demon. (Giles looks at the sword, intrigued) If all else fails, this might stop it. I tink.", "Giles: (approaches) Ooh. May I? May I? (takes the sword from Kendra) Thank you. Well, l-let's, uh, hope all else doesn't fail. (to Willow) Um, how close are you to f-figuring out the ritual of the curse?", "Willow: (goes to her pack) I need about a day, and... (picks up some papers and reads) an 'Orb of Thesulah'? Whatever that is.", "Giles: (hands the sword back to Kendra) Spirit vault for rituals of the undead. (heads toward his office) I've got one. (embarrassed) I-I've been using it as a... paperweight. (disappears into his office)", "Willow: (to Buffy) This means I can't help you study for tomorrow's final.", "Buffy: Ah, I'll wing it. Of course, if we go to Hell by then, I won't have to take 'em. (worried) Or maybe I'll be taking them forever.", "Giles: (comes back with the Orb) Angel has a ritual of his own to perform before he can remove the sword and awaken Acathla. With any luck, it should take some time. Buffy stares at the Orb as Giles hands it to Willow.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. Spike paces in his room. He hears Drusilla coming.", "Drusilla: Spike? He quickly gets back into his chair. Drusilla comes through the curtain into the room.", "Drusilla: Spike, my sweet! The fun's about to begin. He wheels himself out of the room and heads for the main hall.", "Cut to the main hall before the obelisk. The two vampires drag in a young man, barefoot and bare-chested with his hands tied behind his back. They drop him to the floor before Spike, Angelus and Drusilla.", "Angelus: (comes toward the young man) I will drink... the blood will wash in me, over me, and I will be cleansed. I will be worthy to free Acathla. (looks at Spike) Bear witness... (looks at Drusilla) as I ascend... (looks ahead and morphs into his game face) as I become. He grabs the man by the hair and lifts him up, holding his head at an angle to expose his neck. He roars and bites the young man hard and fast on the neck. He drinks deeply, brings up his hand to brush it against the man's wound and then lets him fall to the floor dead. He looks at the blood on his hand. He lowers it and starts to walk slowly toward Acathla.", "Angelus: Everything that I am, everything that I have done, has led me here.", "Cut to Manhattan, 1996. A bum steps up to a trashcan and begins to go through it. A man walks past him and on down the street. Having found nothing, the bum makes his way into an alley with slow, labored steps. A boy runs past him with a package and disappears further down the alley. The bum, tired and weak, staggers into a concrete post at the side of the alley and stops. He coughs and rolls around to lean with his back against the post, and it's Angel, tired, filthy and unkempt. He just breathes for a moment, and then smells something. He searches the alley with his eyes and spots a rat scampering across to the other side. He takes a couple of unsteady steps, brushes the hair from his face and begins to stalk the rat. It reaches the other side and disappears into a pile of trashcans and bags. Angel dives after it, scattering the cans and bags noisily, but loses the rat. A man comes into the alley behind him. Angel rolls over to sit and flails his arms at the trashcans in anger over missing the rat. The man comes up to him.", "Whistler: God, are you disgusting. Angel calms down a bit and looks around himself.", "Whistler: This is really an unforgettable smell. This is the stench of death you're giving off here. And the look says, uh... Crazy Homeless Guy. It's not good.", "Angel: (angrily) Get away from me.", "Whistler: What are you gonna do, bite me? (gasps and jumps back) Horrors! A vampire! Angel looks at him in surprise.", "Whistler: Ah, but you wouldn't bite me on account of your poor, tortured soul. It's so sad, a vampire with a soul. It's so poignant.", "Angel: (confused) Who are you?", "Whistler: Let's take a walk.", "Cut to a ways down the street. The two of them walk along the sidewalk for a few paces and then turn into the street to cross to the hotdog stand on the other side. Angel isn't paying any attention to the traffic, so Whistler grabs his arm to stop him.", "Whistler: What are you eating? (they continue across) Like, a rat once a month? Angel strays and almost walks into another car. Whistler grabs him again and pulls him back in time.", "Whistler: Hey! (car honks, they continue) Look, you're skin and bones here! Butcher shops are throwing away more blood in a day than you could stand. Good blood. (they reach the far side) You lived in the world a little bit, you'd know that.", "Angel: I wanna know who you are. (stops)", "Whistler: (stops and faces him) And I wanna know who *you* are.", "Angel: You already do.", "Whistler: Not yet. But I'm looking to find out. 'Cause you could go either way here.", "Angel: I don't understand you.", "Whistler: Nobody understands me. That's my curse. (chuckles) He steps over to the street vendor and pulls out some cash.", "Whistler: Dog me. Mustard. He watches the vendor get out the hotdog and squirt on some mustard.", "Whistler: (to Angel) My name's Whistler.", "Vendor: Here you go.", "Whistler: (takes the dog) Thanks. (hands over a bill, turns to Angel) Anyway, lately it is. (takes a bite) Mm.", "Angel: (looks down) You're not a vampire.", "Whistler: A demon... technically. I mean, I'm not a bad guy. Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life.", "Angel: (looks at him) Whadaya mean, I can go either way?", "Whistler: I mean that you can become an even more useless rodent than you already are, or you can become someone. A person. Someone to be counted.", "Angel: I just wanna be left alone. (starts away)", "Whistler: Well, yeah, you've been left alone for, what, ninety years already. (Angel turns back) And what a package you are. The Stink Guy!", "Angel: What do you want from me?", "Whistler: I want you to see something. He gives Angel an intense look. Angel just looks at him.", "Whistler: We'd have to leave now. You see, and then you tell me what you wanna do.", "Angel: Where is it?", "Cut to Hemery High School in Los Angeles, 1996. School is over for the day, and the students come streaming out. An old, rusted Chevy Impala with its windows spray-painted black pulls up on the far side of the street. The driver's window lowers, and Angel squints out into the daylight, careful to remain in shadow. He looks over at the building and sees Buffy come down the steps with three of her friends.", "Buffy: So I'm like, 'Dad, do you want me to go to the dance in an outfit I've already worn? Why do you hate me?'", "Girl#1: Is Tyler taking you?", "Buffy: Where were you when I got over Tyler? He's of the past. (Angel watches her) Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him. Which, actually, he's supposed to do after practice, so I'm gonna wait.", "Girl#1: Okay. See ya later.", "Girl#2: Bye!", "Buffy: (waves to Girl#1) Call me!", "Girl#1: Okay!", "Buffy: (waves to Girl#2) Call me! (waves to Girl#3) Call me!", "Girl#3: I will! Buffy climbs back up a few steps and looks around. She takes off her jacket and sits down to wait for Tyler. She lays the jacket across her legs and idly looks around again. A man in a black suit approaches her. He is her first Watcher, who has finally found her.", "Watcher: Buffy Summers?", "Buffy: (looks at him) Yeah? (smiles) Hi! (confused) What?", "Watcher: I need to speak with you.", "Buffy: (worried) You're not from Bullock's, are you? 'Cause I-I meant to pay for that lipstick.", "Watcher: There isn't much time. You must come with me. Your destiny awaits.", "Buffy: (confused, shakes her head) I don't have a destiny. (nods) I'm destiny-free, really.", "Watcher: (seriously) Yes, you have. You are the Chosen One. You alone can stop them.", "Buffy: Who?", "Watcher: The vampires.", "Buffy: (considers for a moment) Huh?", "Cut to a cemetery. Buffy lands flat on her back.", "Buffy: Oof! A vampire props himself over her, growling menacingly. She is very frightened, and looks around frantically for what to do. Angel watches from behind some gravestones. Buffy spots her stake, but can't reach it, so she just gets her hands underneath the vampire and pushes him off. He flies off of her and lands hard on his back.", "Buffy: Oh, God... She rolls onto her hands and knees and scrambles on all fours to retrieve her stake.", "Buffy: Oh, God... Oh... Oh, God... Unh! She grabs the stake and quickly gets to her feet. She looks at it, unsure of what to do next. The vampire gets up and lunges at her. Reflexively she grabs him, sidesteps him and sends him flipping over to the ground again, dazed. She looks at the vampire, amazed by what she just did. She glances back at the Watcher, down at her stake and then makes her move to dispatch the vampire. She quickly gets to her knees, raises the stake above her head and plunges it into him, but gets him in the gut instead of the chest.", "Buffy: Oh! Not the heart! Angel watches, concerned. Buffy plunges the stake into the vampire again, and this time hits her mark. An instant later the vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy is caught by surprise, and she screams and jumps back, landing on her butt. She just stares at the ashes on the grass in wide- eyed shock. Behind her the Watcher steps up.", "Watcher: You see? You see your power? Buffy isn't at all sure she wants to see. Angel continues to watch.", "Cut to Buffy's house in L.A. The camera looks into her room from outside. Buffy comes in with her mother close behind.", "Joyce: Why didn't you call?", "Buffy: (faces her mom) I'm sorry. I-I didn't know it was so late. Tyler and I were talking.", "Joyce: (exhales) That boy is irresponsible.", "Buffy: No, mom. It's not his fault. (takes off her jacket)", "Joyce: You know we worry, that's all. They look at each other for a moment, and Joyce shrugs.", "Joyce: Dinner's in ten minutes. (leaves)", "Buffy: (whispers) Yeah. She goes through the other door into her bathroom. The camera pans from the bedroom window over to the bathroom window. She turns on the water to wash up from the cemetery. Her parents talk in the hall, and she can hear as it escalates into an argument.", "Hank: Did she say where she was?", "Joyce: She was with Tyler.", "Hank: I don't want her seeing him anymore, period! Angel looks in at her from outside.", "Joyce: You're overreacting, dear. Buffy looks at herself in the mirror sadly. The tears begin to come.", "Hank: Don't do that! Don't talk to me like I'm a kid!", "Joyce: I don't! Just forget it! Angel continues to watch and listen.", "Hank: Just because you can't discipline her, I have to be the ogre! Buffy keeps on staring into the mirror.", "Joyce: I am not having this conversation again! Alright? Buffy looks down and tries hard not to cry.", "Cut to the sewers. Angel arrives where Whistler is waiting for him.", "Whistler: She's gonna have it tough, that Slayer. She's just a kid. The world's full of big, bad things.", "Angel: I wanna help her. (Whistler looks at him) I want... I wanna become someone.", "Whistler: God, jeez, look at you. She must be prettier than the last Slayer. (Angel looks away) This isn't gonna be easy. The more you live in this world, the more you see how apart from it you really are. (sternly) And this is dangerous work. Right now, you couldn't go three rounds with a fruit fly!", "Angel: (with resolve) I wanna learn from you.", "Whistler: Alright.", "Angel: But I don't wanna dress like you. (starts to leave)", "Whistler: (follows) Again, you're annoying me. You're lucky we need you on our side.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion, 1998. He approaches Acathla, still vamped out.", "Angelus: I have strayed, I have been lost. But Acathla redeems me. With this act, we will be free. He grabs the hilt of the sword with both hands. A blindingly bright light emanates from it. Drusilla smiles and bathes herself in it. Angelus begins to shake with the power of the sword. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the main hall of Angelus' mansion. He holds onto the sword tightly, trying to draw it out of Acathla. It won't budge, and a moment later a bright red flame bursts from the sword, throwing Angelus back and onto the floor.", "Spike: (sing-song) Someone wasn't worthy.", "Angelus: (scrambles to his feet) Damn it!", "Drusilla: (freaks out) This is so... disappointing! (moans)", "Angelus: (paces angrily) There must be something I missed. The incantations, the blood... I don't know! Spike tries hard to suppress a snicker, hiding his mouth with his hand.", "Drusilla: (whining) What are we going to do?", "Angelus: (menacingly) What we always do in a time of trouble: turn to an old friend. Hope returns to Drusilla's eyes.", "Angelus: (viciously) We'll have our Armageddon. I swear! He grabs a vase from a shelf and heaves it at the far wall, smashing it into hundreds of tiny pieces.", "Cut to class the next day. Willow, Buffy, Xander, Cordelia and the rest of the class are taking one of their final exams. Everyone is intent on it. Buffy looks up and glances around briefly, then turns her attention back on her paper.", "Cut to the hall. There are very few students. A mysterious figure with a shawl over its head walks slowly toward the room where the team is taking their test. The camera follows. The few students who pass don't take any notice. Cut back to the class. Everyone is concentrating on the test, and no one notices as the vampire comes in and pulls the shawl away from its face.", "Vampire: Tonight... Sundown... (everyone looks up) At the graveyard...", "Teacher: (gets up) Excuse me... Exposed now to the daylight, the vampire begins to smoke.", "Vampire: You will come to him. (takes the shawl off) You will come to him or more will die. She points at Buffy and ignites. Buffy watches, taken aback by the vampire's direct approach at delivering her message.", "Vampire: Tonight! The students scream, jump out of their chairs and begin to run from the room. Cordelia and Xander also jump up, but don't run. Buffy remains calmly in her seat.", "Vampire: His hour is at hand! She combusts in a flash of flame and smoke. Buffy just stares at the empty space before her.", "Cut to the library. Xander, Cordelia and Willow are researching at the table. Kendra approaches with her sheathed sword. The camera pulls back to show Giles and Buffy up on the mezzanine.", "Buffy: She said more would die. I have to go.", "Kendra: Den I should go wit you.", "Buffy: (faces Kendra) No. I need you here just in case. (heads for the stairs) I can take care of myself. And look, (comes down) as long as Angel's fighting me, then he can't do this end-of-the-world ritual thingy, and that's a good. (reaches the table) Will, what do you think?", "Willow: (looks over her research) I just want to cross-check...", "Buffy: We don't have time. If this is gonna work, it has to work now.", "Willow: Okay. Then I need maybe half an hour once we're all set up.", "Giles: (looks at the shelves) Which means you just have to hold Angel off. Don't let him close on you. (pulls out a book) If the curse succeeds, you'll, you'll know. He tosses the book down to Xander. Xander checks the title, and hands it to Willow.", "Cordelia: Why don't you just wait here to find out if it worked, see if he phones you?", "Buffy: I can't risk him killing any more people. I better go. (starts out)", "Xander: Be careful.", "Buffy: (looks back) I will. (starts out again.)", "Kendra: Here... She grabs a stake from the table. Buffy stops and looks back. Kendra goes over to her and holds up the twisted but very sharp stake.", "Kendra: In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy.", "Buffy: You named your stake?", "Kendra: (a bit embarrassed) Yes.", "Buffy: (smiles) Remind me to get you a stuffed animal. She accepts the stake from Kendra and looks it over.", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Kendra: (exhales) Watch your back. Buffy leaves the library.", "Cut to the cemetery. Buffy walks through, watching all around as she goes. Angelus walks out from behind a small mausoleum.", "Angelus: Hello, lover. I wasn't sure you'd come.", "Buffy: After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is?", "Angelus: There's time enough. I wanted to say goodbye first. You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss.", "Buffy: This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?", "Angelus: I didn't come here to fight.", "Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) No?", "Angelus: Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together. What do you think? Do we have a shot? (gets a look from Buffy) Alright. We'll fight. He rushes at her.", "Cut to the library. Willow is sitting cross-legged on the table. Before her is the Orb of Thesulah within a sacred circle and surrounded by candles, bones and stones. Willow casts some stones. She looks at them and then gives Giles a nod. He opens a book and reads the Latin text.", "Giles: Quod perditum est, invenietur.", "Translation: What is lost, return. Cordelia swirls incense into the air while Xander watches.", "Willow: 'Not dead nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum I call...'", "Cut to the graveyard. Buffy ducks a punch from Angelus and comes up behind him. He spins around to block her return swing. He blocks another jab from her, and punches her in the face. He follows up with a left hook, and Buffy loses her balance and nearly falls down. Angelus grabs her by the back of her coat and throws her over onto the grounds. She rolls away and onto her back, and looks up at him.", "Buffy: Come on, Willow. She swiftly gets back to her feet to continue fighting.", "Cut to the library. Kendra guards the main doors.", "Willow: 'Let him know the pain of humanity, gods. Reach your wizened hands to me. Give me the sword...' Suddenly a vampire comes out from the stacks and attacks Xander from behind. The main doors fly open, and Kendra spins around to defend as two more vampires walk in. Giles points to the steps and yells at the girls as a fourth vampire appears from the stacks.", "Giles: Get out! Go! Willow and Cordelia make for the stairs. Kendra punches the first of the two vampires to reach her. The fourth one jumps over the mezzanine railing and lands on Giles' back, knocking him into the table. Cordelia and Willow run up the stairs and see Xander elbow the vampire on his back, knocking the demon into a bookcase. Having punched down the one vampire, Kendra grabs the other and shoves her into the wall. The first one gets up and rushes in to fight. Willow runs around behind the stacks to try to escape. Cordelia is frozen in fright. Giles grabs a vase from the table and smashes it over his attacker's head. Xander's assailant rushes him again, but Xander sidesteps him. He spins around, grabs Xander and shoves him into a bookcase. The one down below hops up onto the table, runs across it and leaps over the railing above. Willow sees him coming, and hides behind a bookcase. The vampire doesn't stop and just pushes the case over onto Willow. She falls to the floor, and the books and case land on top of her, knocking her out. The vampire Kendra is fighting ducks her swing. Xander's opponent grabs his arm, loops his own around it tightly and pulls down, breaking it. Xander yells out in pain. Kendra ducks a roundhouse kick from her enemy and blocks several swings. Xander grabs his tormenter's hair and smashes his head down on the railing. Below Giles ducks a swing and punches the vampire in the gut. Kendra lands two punches in the face of her attacker. Giles pounds his assailant on the back, but he just roars and spins around with a punch to Giles' face, knocking him out. Xander picks the dazed vampire up and shoves him into the other one going at Cordelia, knocking him down.", "Xander: Go! He grabs his broken arm and winces in pain. Cordelia screams and runs out through the stacks. Xander watches Kendra's opponent punch her in the face, but Kendra ducks and backs into her and comes up holding back the vampire's head. She plunges her stake into her heart, and she bursts into ashes. Xander winces again in pain. Willow lies prone under the fallen bookcase. Kendra looks around for her next target. She sees the one going for Giles, and rushes over to pull him off. She shoves him around to the floor. He tries to get up, but she just punches him back down. He tries again, and she grabs him and throws him through the window into Giles' office. Just then another one tackles her from the side.", "Cut to the cemetery. Buffy punches Angelus, but he takes it in stride. She swings again, but he grabs her arm and holds on tight. She swings with the other one, but he grabs it, too, and then pushes her away.", "Angelus: Jeez, is it me, or is your heart not in this? Buffy pulls out Kendra's stake.", "Angelus: Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world.", "Buffy: Well, I think Mr. Pointy'll have something to say about that. Come on. Let's finish this. You and me.", "Angelus: (chuckles) Y-you never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you. (chuckles) She realizes the trap was set for the others, and begins to run.", "Angelus: (smiles) And you fall for it every single time!", "Cut to the library. A vampire punches Kendra, and she stumbles, but regains her footing. Up in the stacks the other one comes at Xander and punches him in the face, knocking him out. Below Kendra is hit by a roundhouse kick, and falls. The library doors swing open, and Drusilla walks in. The vampire tries to kick Kendra, but she blocks it and swings out with her leg, tripping him, and gets back to her feet to face the other two, the one that came down from above, the other one now back out of Giles' office. The third one is up again also, and they close in on her, but before any more fighting can ensue Drusilla claps her hands.", "Drusilla: Enough. She bids Kendra come hither with her waving fingers. The other three just back off. Kendra faces Drusilla, ready to fight. Drusilla walks around her and goads her on. Kendra kicks at her, but Drusilla blocks her easily, as well as two follow-up swings. She punches Kendra and sends her spinning to the floor.", "Cut to a street. Buffy runs like mad to get to the school.", "Cut to the library. Drusilla ducks a kick from Kendra and grabs her by the arms. She swings her around and shoves her away. Kendra comes back at her again with a kick to the gut, and Drusilla doubles over for an instant. Kendra lunges at her, but Drusilla grabs her by the throat and forces her back against the counter, gripping hard and choking her.", "Drusilla: Look at me, Dearie. She waves two extended fingers before Kendra's eyes and begins to hypnotize her.", "Drusilla: Be... in my eyes. Be... in me. She lets go, and Kendra is completely under her spell. She sways back and forth a bit, and Kendra follows her every move to stay in contact with her eyes. Drusilla backs away slightly, lowering her arms and never losing eye contact.", "Cut to the park. Buffy races through, leaping a bench as she runs.", "Cut to the library. Kendra continues to sway with Drusilla. Drusilla extends out the fingers of her right hand at her side. She smiles evilly as she swings her hand up and slices Kendra's neck with her sharp nails. Kendra grabs at her neck as it begins to bleed heavily, and collapses to the floor. Drusilla watches her fall, and turns to look down at her.", "Drusilla: Night-night. She kisses the air above her and turns to her accomplices.", "Drusilla: Let's get what we came for, dears. Two of them grab an unconscious Giles by the arms and drag him from the library. Drusilla and the third vampire follow them out. Cut outside. Buffy runs across the school grounds. Cut into the halls. Buffy throws open the door and rushes in. As she rounds a corner the scene slows. Buffy runs down the hall in slow motion as Whistler narrates over the scene.", "Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. Buffy barges into the library and stops.", "Whistler: No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. She looks around at the damage, and then sees Kendra lying on the floor. She runs to her, still in slow motion, and skids down next to her on her knees. She sees that she's gone, and takes her hand.", "Whistler: So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. Buffy reaches up to Kendra's face with her other hand and strokes it gently. Behind her a police officer raises his gun at her.", "Officer: Freeze! Buffy looks back at him, seemingly caught red-handed.", "Whistler: You'll see what I mean. To Be Continued..." ]

[ "With Kendra murdered by Drusilla, Willow in the hospital with head trauma, and Giles kidnapped by Angelus, Buffy must decode Whistler 's cryptic clues and accept help from an unexpected source (Spike) to stop Angelus in order to prevent the world from being sucked into Acathla's hell dimension." ]

[ "Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The library at Sunnydale High School. Buffy is crouched over Kendra after finding her dead. Behind her a police officer comes in and aims his gun at her.", "Officer#1: Freeze! (Buffy faces him) Put your hands up. Back away from the girl slowly. Another officer comes in behind the first, gun drawn and surveying the scene. Buffy slowly gets to her feet and raises her hands.", "Buffy: Look, I didn't do anything.", "Officer#1: Do it! Now! The second officer holsters her gun and crouches down to feel for Kendra's pulse, but can't find one.", "Officer#2: This one's dead.", "Officer#1: What about up there? (nods toward the mezzanine) Buffy and Officer#2 look up at the stacks and see Xander lying unconscious on the floor behind the railing.", "Buffy: Xander... She starts to go to him, but Officer#2 grabs her and pushes her back.", "Officer#2: Get her out of here!", "Buffy: Wait! Just see if he's okay! Please! The second officer hands her off to the first, and then goes to check on Xander. Buffy offers no resistance, and lets herself be led out. Officer#2 crouches down by Xander to check him out.", "Cut to the hall outside the library. Officer#1 leads Buffy out.", "Buffy: Please. You don't understand.", "Officer#1: You'd do well to keep your mouth shut, missy. They turn down the hall and see Snyder coming down followed by two more officers.", "Buffy: But I didn't *do* anything.", "Snyder: Why do I find that so very hard to believe?", "Officer#1: (to the other officers) In there. (to Snyder) You know this girl?", "Snyder: Buffy Summers. If there's trouble, she's behind it.", "Buffy: (angrily) You stupid little troll. You have *no* idea!", "Snyder: Attitude problem. Serious.", "Buffy: (faces the officer) Look, I just wanna know if my friends are okay.", "Officer#1: All right, that's enough. He spins her back around and gets out his handcuffs.", "Officer#1: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and... Buffy glances over her shoulder, and without warning backhand punches the officer in the face. He grunts in pain and stumbles backward into the lockers. She grabs him by the neck and pushes his head down, flipping him over onto his back. Snyder takes a shocked step back. He is too stunned by what he just saw her do to move, and just lets her run down the hall without even looking. Officer#2 comes out of the library and sees her partner on the floor and Buffy running away. She raises her gun and takes aim at Buffy.", "Officer#2: Stop! Now Snyder turns around to see Buffy running away, but he's still too shook up to have the sense to get out of the officer's way.", "Officer#2: Get down! Buffy looks back and turns down an adjacent hall, and the officer takes a shot. The bullet shatters the window of the hall door. The other two officers come out of the library, guns drawn and ready, and she waves them in Buffy's direction. They run in pursuit. She grabs the radio mic at her shoulder and puts out a bulletin on Buffy.", "Officer#2: All units, we have a fugitive on foot at the high school. Homicide suspect. Female, blond, approximately sixteen years old. Suspect is *very* dangerous. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall outside the Emergency Room at Sunnydale General Hospital. Buffy comes into the hall wearing a wool cap and a long, dark coat. She averts her eyes from the doctors and nurses. On the wall she finds a slot with a few patient histories and checks the names on them. There are none she's interested in. She continues slowly down the hall, avoiding the eyes of a passing doctor. She checks another series of slots for names on paperwork, but finds nothing. Further down the hall she turns down the left passageway. Behinds her Xander walks up and touches her on the back. She gasps and spins around, but is very relieved to see him standing there.", "Buffy: Xander! (hugs him tightly) Ohhh... He hugs her back, and they hold each other for a long moment, then Buffy lets go.", "Buffy: I was so worried, I didn't know if you were okay. The cops were...", "Xander: Yeah, I, I heard them chase you out. I was just coming out of it. (holds up his arm in a cast) Souvenir.", "Buffy: Well, what about the others? Xander sees two police officers come into the hall behind her.", "Buffy: Are they okay? He grabs her in another tight hug. Buffy goes along with it, but wonders what's up. When she glimpses the cops she hides her face in Xander's shoulder while they head down the hall in the direction that she came in. When the police have gone they separate again.", "Buffy: Okay. That was about equal parts protecting me and copping a feel, right? (smiles) Xander doesn't smile back. He turns his face down looking sad and very worried.", "Buffy: What is it?", "Cut to Willow lying unconscious in a hospital bed. She has a bandaged cut on her forehead and a black eye, but otherwise seems unhurt. The camera pans up from her face to Buffy and Xander standing next to the bed.", "Xander: The doctor said it was head trauma. She can wake up at any time, but, um... the longer it lasts, the... less likely it is.", "Buffy: I never should've let her try to do that curse. Angel must've known. She reaches up to Willow's face and brushes back a few stray hairs.", "Buffy: Where are her parents?", "Xander: With relatives in Phoenix. I gave them a call. They're... they're getting on a plane back.", "Buffy: Does Oz know?", "Xander: (realizes his omission) Oh, man. Um... I didn't even think. Um... I'll call him. Buffy hears some footsteps behind her and turns quickly to see who it is. Xander looks over his shoulder, too, and they see Cordelia come in. He goes over to her.", "Xander: Hey.", "Cordelia: (whispers) Hey. They kiss and hold each other close.", "Cordelia: (sighs) How is she? (they separate and look at Willow) The doctor told me that...", "Xander: Yeah. We're, uh... still waiting.", "Buffy: You okay?", "Cordelia: I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me. Not too brave.", "Buffy: It was the right thing to do.", "Xander: Did Giles keep up with you?", "Cordelia: I didn't see Giles.", "Buffy: You mean he's not in the hospital?", "Xander: No. Buffy gives them a very concerned stare.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. Giles is lying on the floor. Angelus lies on the floor facing him and waiting for him to regain consciousness.", "Giles: Mm... (stirs a bit and exhales) Ohhh... (lifts his head)", "Angelus: Hi, Rupert. I wasn't sure you were gonna wake up. You had me worried. (hops to his feet)", "Giles: (standing up slowly) What do you want?", "Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been a *long* time. I mean, the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even *have* chainsaws. He strolls past Giles over to Acathla. Giles turns to watch him and sees the stone demon with the sword protruding from its chest. Angelus notices Giles' stare.", "Angelus: Oh, yeah. Acathla. He's an even harder guy to wake up than you are. I mean, I performed the rituals, said all the right phrases... blood on my hand. Got nothing. Big doughnut hole for my troubles. I figure you know the ritual. You're pretty up on these things. You could probably... tell me what I'm doing wrong. (approaches Giles) But honestly, I sorta hope you don't... (stops in front of him) 'Cause I *really* wanna torture you. (stares evilly)", "Cut to the Summers house. A police officer comes down the stairs to where Detective Stein is questioning Joyce and goes to stand next to him.", "Joyce: No. I-i-it's impossible. There... there's been some terrible mistake.", "Det. Stein: And you have no idea where your daughter is.", "Joyce: She said she was going to her friend Willow's house. (shakes her head) Maybe she slept over.", "Det. Stein: Is that Willow Rosenberg?", "Joyce: Yes.", "Det. Stein: (to the officer) Second victim.", "Joyce: (confused) What?", "Det. Stein: Your daughter has a history of violence. Doesn't she, Ms. Summers? He nods for the officer to leave the house, and he goes.", "Joyce: Well...", "Det. Stein: (smugly) You call us. (pulls out his wallet) Okay? (digs out a card) If she decides to stop by. (hands Joyce the card) Be best if she just comes in. He exits the house leaving Joyce very worried and confused.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. The door is ajar, so Buffy just comes right in.", "Buffy: Giles! Giles! She looks around, but doesn't see him. Behind her Whistler comes down the stairs from the loft.", "Whistler: I don't think he's here.", "Buffy: (pivots around to face him) Who are you?", "Whistler: Whistler.", "Buffy: What are you doing here?", "Whistler: (reaches the base of the stairs) I'm waiting for you.", "Buffy: Why?", "Whistler: 'Cause I-I-I need a date to the prom. Buffy is *not* in the mood for jokes right now, so she takes the two steps over to him, grabs him by the throat and shoves him up against the wall.", "Buffy: I have had a *really* bad day, okay? If you have information worth hearing, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes, then I'm gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat. (lets go)", "Whistler: Hello to the imagery! Very nice. (seriously) It wasn't supposed to go down like this. (moves away from the wall) Nobody saw you coming. I figured this for Angel's big day. But I thought he was here to *stop* Acathla, not to bring him forth. Then you two made with the smoochies... now he's a creep again. Now, what are you gonna do? W-what are you prepared to do?", "Buffy: Whatever I have to.", "Whistler: Maybe I should ask, what are you prepared to give up?", "Buffy: (exhales) You don't have anything useful to tell me, do you? What are you, just some immortal demon sent down to even the score between good and evil?", "Whistler: (impressed) Wow. Good guess. (grins)", "Buffy: (steps up to him) Well, why don't you try getting off your immortal ass and fighting evil once in a while? 'Cause I'm sick and tired of doing it myself.", "Whistler: In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you've got. That's the point.", "Buffy: (disgusted) Spare me. (starts to leave)", "Whistler: The sword isn't enough. You gotta be ready. (raises his voice) You gotta know how to use it! She goes out the door and slams it behind her.", "Cut to the park. Buffy walks through it with her head down. A car drives by. She steps into the street and watches as the car goes. When she turns back she sees a police car coming, but doesn't run, instead hoping that the officer won't notice her. He does, though, and turns on his lightbar and lets the siren give a brief loud tone. He pulls the car aside, stops and gets out. Buffy ignores him and keeps walking right past the front of the vehicle. The officer draws his gun.", "Officer#3: Hold right there! (slams his door) Buffy spins around to face him.", "Officer#3: Put your hands on your head! Do it! She stares at his gun, frightened, and begins to raise her hands. Suddenly the gun gets kicked out of the officer's hands. He gets kicked in the face and in the shin, then grabbed and thrown onto the hood of his car, where he lies unconscious. His attacker faces a surprised Buffy.", "Spike: Hello, cutie. (smiles) ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the park. Spike takes a step toward Buffy, and she immediately decks him twice in the face. He grabs her by the shoulders to restrain her, but she brings her knee up into his gut.", "Spike: Now, you hold on a second! He gives her a good shove away from himself. She reaches into her coat and pulls out a stake. Spike jumps back and holds up his hands in surrender.", "Spike: Hey! White flag here. I quit.", "Buffy: Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time-outs.", "Spike: You want to go around, pet, I'll have a gay old time of it. You want to stop Angel... we're gonna have to play this a bit differently.", "Buffy: (still holding the stake) What are you talking about?", "Spike: I'm talking about your ex, pet. I'm talking about putting him in the bloody ground.", "Buffy: (chuckles) This has gotta be the *lamest* trick (lowers her stake) you guys have ever thought up.", "Spike: He's got your Watcher. Right now, he's probably torturing him.", "Buffy: What do you want?", "Spike: I told you. I want to stop Angel. (snickers) I want to save the world.", "Buffy: Okay. You do remember that you're a vampire, right?", "Spike: We like to talk big. (indicates himself) Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' (looks at the officer) That's just tough guy talk. (steps over to the car) Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. (sits on the hood) The truth is, I like this world. (pulls the cigarette pack from the officer's shirt pocket) You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. (pulls one out and drops the pack on the officer) And you've got people. (exhales) Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. (lights the cigarette and takes a drag) But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... (exhales) passion for destruction. (takes another drag and looks at Buffy) Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?", "Buffy: (nods) Okay, fine. You're not down with Angel. Why would you ever come to me?", "Spike: (stands and takes another drag, but doesn't look at her) I want Dru back. I want it like it was before he came back. The way she acts around him...", "Buffy: You're pathetic. He punches her in the face. She punches him right back.", "Buffy: I lost a friend tonight!", "Spike: I wasn't in on that raiding party.", "Buffy: And I may lose more! The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to *not* care.", "Spike: I can't fight them both alone, and neither can you! Buffy punches him hard in the jaw, making him flinch. He straightens back up and feels his jaw, checking for blood.", "Buffy: I hate you.", "Spike: And I'm all you've got. The police officer begins to stir on the hood of the car.", "Buffy: (looks down briefly) All right. Talk.", "Spike: (turns to the officer) I'm just gonna kill this guy. Buffy clears her throat loudly. Spike faces her.", "Spike: Oh, right.", "Buffy: (raises her eyebrows at him) Let's get inside. They leave as the police officer begins to wake up and feel his head.", "Cut to Willow's room at the hospital. She is still unconscious. Xander is sitting in a chair and watching her while Cordelia stands.", "Cordelia: Do you want some coffee?", "Xander: I don't wanna leave. She might, uh...", "Cordelia: I'll get it.", "Xander: (looks up at her) Thanks. They clasp hands briefly, and Cordelia goes to get some coffee. Xander looks at Willow again, deep in thought. He leans over to the bed and gently takes her hand in his.", "Xander: Come on, Will. Look, you don't have a choice here. You gotta wake up. I need you, Will. I mean, how am I gonna pass trig, you know? (chuckles) And who am I gonna call every night... and talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. You've always... He looks at her for a long moment, looks away for an instant and then at her again, struggling with his emotions.", "Xander: I love you. Her face twitches and her hand gives his a squeeze. Xander's eyes widen in hope.", "Xander: Willow? She takes a few breaths before responding, with her eyes still closed.", "Willow: (whispers) Oz? (speaks) Oz? Xander leans away, taken aback. Oz hears her as he walks into the room.", "Oz: I'm here.", "Xander: (looks back at Oz) She's just starting to wake up. He gets up to let Oz go to her. Oz takes her hand and leans over the bed. Willow still has her eyes closed.", "Oz: Hey, baby.", "Willow: (weakly) Hi.", "Xander: I'm gonna go get a doctor. (leaves)", "Oz: How you feelin'?", "Willow: (weakly, eyes still closed) My head... feels big. Is it big?", "Oz: No. It's head size. He leans over her face and gently kisses her on the forehead. He leans back to look at her and strokes her hair with his other hand. She opens her eyes tentatively.", "Willow: (whispers) Uh... is everybody else okay?", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. The camera shows Giles in a chair with his hands bound behind his back and bleeding from rope burns. The camera pans up his arms and over his shoulder to Angelus, sitting in a chair and watching Giles as he cleans his glasses. He breathes on the lenses, polishes them clean and inspects his work.", "Angelus: Rupert, buddy... I'm here to tell you, I'm impressed.", "(chuckles)", "He drops the cleaning cloth, gets up and goes over to Giles.", "Angelus: Hey. Uh... (slides on the glasses) How you holdin' up?", "Giles: (looks up at him weakly) Never... better.", "Angelus: Glad to hear it. (kneels next to him) Now... (Giles breathes painfully) Tell me when it hurts. (smirks)", "Cut to Buffy's street. She and Spike eye each other as they head up the walk to her house. Just then Joyce pulls up in her Jeep and sees them from her open window.", "Joyce: Buffy?! Buffy gives her a glance, but goes right back to watching Spike.", "Joyce: (stops the car) Where have you been? (gets out) Are you okay? (runs over) The police were here! I've been looking for you!", "Buffy: Mom, let's, let's go inside, and I can explain.", "Joyce: (hysterical) Who is this man? (to Spike) Who are you? (to Buffy) Are you okay?", "Buffy: Mom! I'm-I'm okay.", "Joyce: Buffy, terrible things have happened. What were you doing?", "Spike: What, your mum doesn't know? Buffy glares at Spike.", "Joyce: (to Spike) Know what?", "Buffy: (faces her mom) That I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with Spike here. (shoots Spike a look)", "Spike: Right. She plays the, the triangle.", "Buffy: Drums.", "Spike: Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins, you know.", "Joyce: (unconvinced) Hmm. And, uh, what do you do?", "Spike: Well, I sing.", "Buffy: You know what? Why don't we go inside, and, and we can talk about this. (nods) She starts toward the door, and Spike follows.", "Joyce: I'm, I'm not sure how I feel about this. Buffy turns around to face her. Suddenly a vampire rushes across the porch, pushes Buffy and Spike aside and jumps down the steps at Joyce, ready to fight. She screams and does some fast backpedaling. Buffy grabs him by the shoulders from behind and forces him around to face Spike. She pulls out a stake while Spike gives him a series of punches to the face. Spike's last blow sends the vampire spinning around and staggering away. Buffy thrusts the stake into his chest, and he instantly crumbles to ash. Joyce just stares in shock. Spike steps down from the porch and looks at the pile of ash.", "Spike: One of Angel's boys.", "Buffy: Yeah, probably watching me. Or you.", "Spike: Yeah. He won't get a chance to tattle on us now.", "Joyce: (utterly confused) Buffy... what... is going on? Buffy looks at her mother for a moment, exchanges a look with Spike and realizes that it's time. She steps up to her mom and looks up at her, hoping against hope for understanding.", "Buffy: Mom... I'm a Vampire Slayer. Joyce just blinks her eyes, raises her brows and shakes her head in complete dismay.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Willow's room at the hospital. Oz brings her a bowl of Jell-O. She's sitting up and on the phone with Buffy. She takes the bowl from Oz with a smile, sets it down on her lap and begins to play with the spoon. Oz pulls up a chair and sits down.", "Willow: I'm okay, Buffy, really. I mean, I don't feel good, but... I'm awake, and I know my name and who's President and how many fingers, so they don't think my brain got mushed at all.", "Buffy: (cut to her in her kitchen) Thank God. So sorry I can't be there.", "Willow: I know. (cut to her) I'm sorry I didn't get to cure Angel.", "Buffy: Don't be. It just (cut to her) wasn't meant to be. I know I'm never gonna get him back the way he was. It just makes it easier.", "Willow: (cut to her) I guess. Any luck finding Giles?", "Buffy: (cut to her) Yep. I got a lucky break.", "Willow: What?", "Buffy: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.", "Cut to their living room. Joyce sits nervously on the couch with the toes of her shoes turned in. Spike is sitting in an adjacent wicker chair. Uncomfortable silence reigns. Spike looks around the room. Joyce lifts her glass, takes a sip of her drink and winces at its strength. Spike looks down at his lap, lets out a long, bored breath and folds his hands. Cut to Buffy on the phone in the kitchen.", "Buffy: Xander. Angel and the others are holed up outside town. You remember that funky-looking mansion you showed me that time?", "Cut to him sitting on Willow's bed. Behind him she eats her Jell-O. Oz looks through a magazine.", "Xander: (into the phone) On Crawford Street. Sure. That makes sense. What's the drill?", "Buffy: (cut to her) I'm gonna hit it come daybreak.", "Xander: (cut to him) You'll need backup.", "Buffy: No. (cut to her) You stay there. I'm covered.", "Xander: (cut to him) Do you, um... do you think Giles is still alive?", "Buffy: (cut to her) I think he is. I just wish he was here to tell me what to do.", "Cut to the living room. The silence is deafening. Spike looks around some more. Then Joyce has a spark of recognition on her face and looks over at Spike.", "Joyce: Have we met?", "Spike: (faces her) Um... you hit me with an ax one time. Remember? (makes an ax-holding gesture) Uh, 'get the hell away from my daughter.'", "(lowers his arms)", "Joyce: Oh.", "She lets out a little chuckle. Spike sighs with boredom.", "Joyce: So, do you, uh, live here in town? Buffy walks into the room with her arms crossed. They both get up.", "Joyce: I-is Willow all right?", "Buffy: Yeah. She's fine. (to Spike) All right, talk. What's the deal?", "Spike: Simple. You let me and Dru skip town, I help you kill Angel.", "Joyce: (confused) Angel? Your boyfriend?", "Buffy: (to Spike) Forget about Drusilla. She doesn't walk.", "Spike: There's no deal without Dru.", "Buffy: She killed Kendra.", "Spike: (surprised) Dru bagged a Slayer? (chuckles) She didn't tell me! (to Joyce, smiling) Hey, good for her! (gets a look from Buffy and loses the smile) Though not from your perspective, I suppose.", "Buffy: (with contempt) I can't believe I invited you into my house.", "Joyce: (relieved) So you didn't kill that girl.", "Buffy: Of course not.", "Joyce: Did she explode like that man out there?", "Buffy: She was a Slayer, Mom.", "Joyce: Like what you are. Buffy gives her a thin smile and a nod.", "Spike: Look. (pulls Buffy aside) This deal works for me one way. Full stop. Me and Dru for Angel.", "Joyce: (still confused) Honey, a-are you sure you're a Vampire Slayer?", "Spike: I'll take her out of the country. You'll never hear from us again, I *bloody* well hope.", "Buffy: (ignores her mother) Fine. Get back to the mansion. Make sure Giles is all right.", "Joyce: I-I mean, have you tried *not* being a Slayer? They both look at her.", "Buffy: Mom! Spike sighs in exasperation of Joyce.", "Buffy: (to Spike) Be ready to back me up when I make my move. He walks around her toward the door.", "Buffy: If Giles dies... (Spike stops and faces her) she dies. He gives her a final stare and heads out the door.", "Joyce: (trying to make sense of it) It's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?", "Buffy: It's just fate, Mom. I'm the Slayer. Accept it.", "Joyce: We should call the police. (heads for the kitchen)", "Buffy: No. We're not calling the police.", "Joyce: (stops and faces her daughter, smiling) Well, now that we know that you're innocent, it's...", "Buffy: What? You thought I was guilty? Jeez, feelin' the love in *this* room!", "Joyce: No, I didn't think that. It's just... now we have proof.", "Buffy: (exasperated) We have my word, Mom. Not proof.", "Joyce: (heads for the kitchen again) Look, I am sure that they will understand.", "Buffy: (follows closely) Get them involved, you'll get them killed.", "Joyce: Well, you're not gonna hurt them, are you?", "Buffy: I'm a Slayer, not a postal worker. Her mother picks up the phone, and Buffy slaps her hand onto the switch hook.", "Buffy: Cops can't fight demons. (takes the phone from her mom) I have to do it. (puts the phone back in its cradle)", "Joyce: (demanding) Do what? Buffy, what is happening?", "Buffy: (doesn't want to deal) Just have another drink. She turns away from her mother and starts to walk off. Joyce throws her glass aside in anger, and it breaks on the floor.", "Joyce: Don't you talk to me that way! (Buffy stops in her tracks) You don't get to just dump something like this on me and pretend it's nothing!", "Buffy: (looks at her) I'm sorry, Mom, but I don't have time for this.", "(starts for the door again, but stops)", "Joyce: No! I am tired of 'I don't have time' or-or 'you wouldn't understand.' (Buffy faces her) I am your mother, and you will *make*", "time to explain yourself.", "Buffy: I told you. I'm a Vampire Slayer.", "Joyce: (haughtily) Well, I just don't accept that!", "Buffy: (steps closer) Open your eyes, Mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences. How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing, and you still haven't figured it out?", "Joyce: (raises her voice angrily) Well, it stops now!", "Buffy: (raises her voice also) No, it doesn't stop! It *never* stops! Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again.", "Joyce: No. This is insane. (takes Buffy by the shoulders) Buffy, you need help.", "Buffy: (throws off her mom's arms) I'm *not* crazy! What I need is for you to chill. I *have* to go!", "Joyce: (shakes her head) No. I am not letting you out of this house.", "Buffy: You can't stop me.", "Joyce: (grabs her) Oh yes I... Buffy shoves her back into the island, making her knock over several things. She heads for the door, opens it and steps out.", "Joyce: (angrily) You walk out of this house, don't even *think* about coming back! Buffy just gives her a long stare and leaves. Joyce sighs, having failed once again at communicating with her daughter. She turns around and leans on the island with her head in her hands.", "Cut to Willow's hospital room. Willow is sitting up in her bed with Oz in the chair next to her. Xander is sitting on the far side of the room.", "Cordelia: (paces) So Buffy's going for the big showdown, huh? Wish we could help. (to Xander) You know, without dying.", "Xander: I don't see how.", "Willow: I wanna try again.", "Oz: Try what?", "Willow: The curse. We never got to finish it. Maybe we *can* restore Angel's soul.", "Xander: I don't like it. You're talking about messing with powerful magic, and you're weak.", "Willow: I'm okay.", "Xander: You don't look okay. (to Cordelia) Does she?", "Cordelia: You should listen to him. The hair, it's so flat, and the lips...", "Xander: (to Cordelia) Could we stay on topic here, honey?", "Cordelia: What?", "Xander: (to Willow) Look, it's not a good idea.", "Willow: There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolve face? (gives them her resolve face) You've seen it before. You know what it means. This can help Buffy. If we turn Angel back soon enough, we can stop him from ever awakening Acathla.", "Oz: (gets up) Okay, I pretty much missed out on some stuff, didn't I? Because this is all making a kind of sense that's... not.", "Willow: (to Oz) Go with Cordy to the library and get my things. She'll fill you in.", "Oz: Sure. (kisses her hand) I'll drive. He walks out of the room with Cordelia close behind. Xander gets up.", "Willow: Xander, go to Buffy. Tell her what we're doing. Maybe she can stall.", "Xander: But I...", "Willow: (points to herself) Resolve face.", "Xander: (gives in) Be careful. (leaves)", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. Giles is still tied to his chair, and hangs his head weakly.", "Angelus: You know, I can stop the pain. You've been very brave... (puts his hand on Giles' shoulder) but it's over. (walks behind him) You've given enough. (leans down to Giles' ear) Now let me make it stop.", "Giles: (panting and shaking with pain) Please!", "Angelus: (kneels to face him) Just tell me what I need to know.", "Giles: (weakly) In order... to be worthy...", "Angelus: (whispers) Yeah?", "Giles: (weakly) You must perform the ritual... in a tutu. Angelus glares at him. Giles doesn't back down.", "Giles: Pillock!", "Angelus: (stands up) All right. Someone get the chainsaw.", "Spike: (wheels himself in) Now, now, don't let's lose our temper.", "Angelus: Keep out of it, sit 'n' spin.", "Spike: Look, you cut him up, you'll never get your answers.", "Angelus: Since when did *you* become so levelheaded?", "Spike: Right about the time you became so pig-headed. You have your way with him, you'll never get to destroy the world. And I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of the carpet. There are other ways.", "Angelus: Enlighten me.", "Spike: Hmm. (behind himself) Drusilla? Sweetheart? She comes in behind him and walks up to them.", "Spike: Do you want to play a game? She puts her arm on his shoulder, and they both look over at Angelus.", "Cut to the library. The main area is cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape. Buffy walks in and just grabs and pulls down the tape. As she heads toward the table she looks down at the chalk outline of Kendra on the floor and passes it slowly, careful not to step on it. When she reaches the table she looks for a moment at the Orb, candles and other things that were used in the attempt at cursing Angelus. Then she reaches under the table, pulls out Kendra's large duffel bag and sets it on the table. As she goes through it Snyder comes into the library.", "Snyder: You do know this is a crime scene, don't you? (Buffy looks up at him approaching) But then... you're a criminal, so that pretty much works out. (stops)", "Buffy: You know I didn't do it. The police will figure it out.", "Snyder: In case you haven't noticed, the police of Sunnydale are *deeply* stupid. (takes a few steps closer) It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever they find, you've proved too much of a liability for this school. (takes a breath) These are the moments you want to savor. You wish time would stop so that you could live them over and over again. (smiles smugly) You're expelled. Buffy reaches into the bag and pulls out the sword blessed by the knight who first slew Acathla. She holds it up and turns it in her hand. Snyder looks at it, at her and gulps. Buffy gazes at the polished blade.", "Buffy: You never ever got a single date in high school, (turns her eyes to him) did you?", "Snyder: Your point being? She starts out of the library and leans the blade into his face as she passes him. He bends back nervously and watches her go. This time she makes no attempt to avoid the chalk markings on the floor. Snyder pulls out his cell phone and dials. He checks to make sure she's gone and holds the phone up to his ear.", "Snyder: It's Snyder. (smiles) Tell the Mayor I have good news.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. Drusilla kneels behind Giles, patting the sweat from his forehead.", "Drusilla: Is that better? (pats more) Hmm? (pulls away the cloth) Poor thing. (runs her finger down his cheek) Let's see what's inside. She runs her hand up the back of Giles' head and over the top. She closes her eyes and concentrates on reading his thoughts. It doesn't take long for her to discover something useful. She gasps and removes her hand.", "Drusilla: (into Giles' ear) Of course. She stands up and goes around to his other side and holds up two fingers to hypnotize him.", "Drusilla: Look at me. Giles turns his head weakly to look away, trying to resist. She comes around the rest of the way in front of him, waving her fingers.", "Drusilla: Mm-mm-mm-mm. Finally Giles can no longer resist and looks at her. She waves her fingers around some more and draws them in toward her own eyes.", "Drusilla: Be... in me. In his weakened state Giles quickly falls under her spell. She looks into his eyes and smiles.", "Drusilla: Hmm. See with your heart. She covers his eyes with her hand, and when she takes it away he sees Jenny kneeling before him. At first he can't believe it, but then accepts it.", "Giles: (smiles) Jenny! I thought I'd lost you.", "Dru/Jenny: (quietly) Shh. I'll never leave you.", "Giles: (tries to get up) We have to get out of here.", "Dru/Jenny: (calms him) No-no-no-no-no. Slowly. She brushes her hand over his temple, down his cheek and over his lips.", "Giles: It can't be you. (stares into her eyes)", "Dru/Jenny: Did you tell Angel? About the ritual?", "Giles: (breathing erratically) No. (desperately) We have to get... him away from Acathla.", "Dru/Jenny: Why? Is he close to figuring it out?", "Giles: (nods, anxious to go) Later.", "Dru/Jenny: (imploringly) Tell me what to do. Giles looks at her, helpless and confused.", "Dru/Jenny: It's all right. We'll be together... finally. We'll have everything we never got to have... Never got to feel... Just tell me what to do.", "Giles: (desperately) We have to get Angel away from Acathla.", "Dru/Jenny: Angel himself? He's the key?", "Giles: (weakly) H-h-his, his blood... H-he mustn't...", "Dru/Jenny: Shh. (kisses him) Mm. They kiss passionately. The camera pulls over to Giles' face. When it pans back he's kissing Drusilla. The camera continues to pan over to Angelus and Spike as they watch, pleased with the result.", "Angelus: Blood. Of course. The blood on my hands must be my own. I am the key that will open up the door. My blood. My life. (considers) Okay. Kill him. (turns to go)", "Spike: Uh, but what if he's lying?", "Angelus: Yeah. Good point. Alright, don't kill him. (leans down to Spike) You know, I kinda like having you watch my back. It's kinda like old times. (chuckles) They both look over at Drusilla, still kissing Giles.", "Spike: Uh, Drusilla... She keeps kissing him.", "Angelus: Honey...", "Spike: We are finished here, ducks. She stops and looks back at them sheepishly.", "Drusilla: Sorry. (smiles evilly) I was in the moment. Giles opens his eyes and realizes that he's been tricked.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. Whistler walks into the kitchen and looks around. He spots a bottle of sherry and takes a sniff, but then sees that it's empty. He puts it back down and keeps looking around. Buffy comes in and sees him there. He goes over to check out the refrigerator.", "Buffy: Whistler. What did you mean, the sword isn't enough?", "Whistler: (finds a bottle of beer) You know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never gonna get the good stuff.", "Buffy: Tell me how to use it.", "Whistler: (takes a swig and looks back at Buffy) Angel's the key. (closes the fridge) His blood will open the door to Hell. Acathla opens his big mouth, creates a vortex. Then only Angel's blood will close it. One blow will send 'em both back to Hell. But I strongly suggest that you get there before that happens, 'cause the faster you kill Angel, the easier it's gonna be on you.", "Buffy: Don't worry about me.", "Whistler: It's all on the line here, kid.", "Buffy: I can deal. (sadly) I got nothing left to lose. (leaves)", "Whistler: Wrong, kid. You got one more thing. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside Angelus' mansion. The camera pans along its dark facade. Cut to the street. Buffy walks toward the mansion at a determined pace with the sword wrapped in a cloth. Suddenly Xander comes running out of the bushes on the hillside and jumps into the street in front of her. She startles and takes a reflexive step back.", "Buffy: Xander!", "Xander: Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, (holds up a large rock) but it's here. Buffy holds up a stake. He tosses the rock aside and takes it from her.", "Xander: That's better.", "Buffy: You're not here to fight. (starts walking) You get Giles out, and you run like hell, understood? I can't protect you. (pulls off and discards the cloth) I'm gonna be too busy killing.", "Xander: (looks at the sword) Now, that's a new look for you.", "Buffy: It's a present for Angel.", "Xander: Willow. (stops) Uh, she told me to tell you...", "Buffy: Tell me what?", "Xander: (pauses to think) Kick his ass. Without a word she continues walking. Xander hesitates a moment and then follows. Cut inside the main hall of the mansion. Spike in his wheelchair, Angelus and Drusilla stand at one end near the large fireplace. The camera pans along the other side behind Acathla and the two other vampires standing on either side. Angelus begins the ritual.", "Angelus: Acathla... Mundatus sum... pro te necavi. Sanguinem meum... pro te effundam... (steps slowly toward Acathla) quo me dignum... esse demonstrem.", "Translation: Acathla... I am cleansed... here before you. My blood... flowing before you... (steps slowly toward Acathla) makes me worthy... as I demonstrate.", "Cut to Willow's hospital room. Cordelia and Oz are back with the Orb and the candles, and they have everything set up on the tray table over the bed: the Orb surrounded by the candles within a sacred circle. Cordelia stands on one side and waves burning herbs and incense over the Orb. Oz stands on the other side with an open Latin book. Willow sits up in her bed holding the printout of the Rumanian curse. The camera looks down from above and closes in on them.", "Willow: Are we ready?", "Cordelia: Stinky herbs are a go.", "Oz: Did I mention I didn't take Latin?", "Willow: Y-you don't have to understand it. You just have to say it. I hope.", "Oz: Right.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. The camera pans past Acathla's face and the vampire standing next to him.", "Angelus: Now, Acathla...", "Cut to Angelus. Drusilla hands him a knife.", "Angelus: You will be free. He draws the blade across the palm of his hand and winces in pain, but doesn't take his stare off of the demon. He drops the knife.", "Angelus: And so will we all.", "Cut to the other vampire. The camera pans around him to show Buffy coming in quietly behind him. She raises her sword and decapitates him with a single swing. He crumbles to ash as his head falls to the floor. Drusilla and Angelus turn their heads to look. Buffy meets their gazes.", "Buffy: Hello, lover.", "Angelus: (bored) I don't have time for you.", "Buffy: You don't have a lot of time *left*.", "Angelus: Coming on kind of strong, don't you think? You're playing some deep odds here. Do you really think you can take us all on?", "Buffy: No. I don't. Spike gets up out of his wheelchair behind Angelus with a determined look on his face and whips him hard across the back with an andiron. Angelus cries out in pain and collapses to the floor. Drusilla twists her head to look at Spike. He continues to whale on Angelus as hard as he can. Buffy starts for Drusilla, but the first vampire attacks her. She spins around to face him, but he punches her and she falls to the floor. She trips him when he comes at her again and maneuvers to her feet, ready to fight. He comes at her again with a series of punches, all of which she easily blocks. Spike keeps pounding on Angelus.", "Spike: Painful, isn't it? He keeps swinging the andiron. Drusilla begins to freak, and jumps on Spike, taking him down to the floor with her. Buffy's assailant backhand punches her in the face, and she goes staggering into a chair by the wall. She quickly recovers to block another swing, brings her knee up into his gut and kicks him in the face, knocking him to the floor. She spies a pile of broken wood fragments and goes to it. The vampire gets to his feet just as Xander comes into the room and surprises him with a punch. Buffy picks up a suitable piece of scrap wood and gets back into the fight. Xander backs off to go look for Giles. The vampire ducks a roundhouse kick and blocks another kick. Spike and Drusilla get up from the floor and face each other off.", "Spike: I don't want to hurt you, baby. She grabs him by the throat and shoves him into the wall. He slaps her arm aside and punches her in the face.", "Spike: Doesn't mean I won't.", "Cut to the hospital room. Willow casts her stones and gives Oz his cue. Cordelia keeps waving the burning herbs and incense.", "Oz: Quod perditum est, invenietur.", "Translation: What is lost, return.", "Willow: Not dead... nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I call.", "Cut to the mansion. Xander pushes aside a curtain to another room and finds Giles still tied to a chair.", "Xander: Giles! Giles' head is tilted back, and he is very weak.", "Xander: Giles! Giles lifts his head slowly. Xander crouches behind the chair and begins to untie the ropes.", "Giles: Xander?", "Xander: Can you walk?", "Giles: You're not real.", "Xander: Sure, I'm real.", "Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want. Xander has untied the ropes and goes around to look into Giles' face.", "Xander: Then why would they make you see me?", "Giles: (considers) You're right. Let's go. He groans as Xander gets under his arm and helps him out of the chair.", "Xander: Come on. They make their way though the main hall as fast as they can and out the door. Buffy and the vampire continue to fight. Drusilla swipes at Spike with her hand and leaves four parallel scratches across his cheek. She follows up with a punch that knocks him to the floor. Angelus wakes up and groans in pain. He rubs his eyes and looks up at Acathla. He gets to his feet and goes over to the demon. Buffy is still fighting the vampire. She blocks a kick from him, punches him, spins around and punches again, and he falls onto his back. Buffy quickly follows him down with her stake and jams it into his chest. He bursts into ashes. Behind her Angelus takes the last few steps to Acathla and grabs the sword stuck in his chest by the hilt with his bloody hand. A blindingly bright light emanates from it, and Buffy looks up from her kill in time to witness Angelus pulling the sword from the demon's heart. With a few telltale sparks the light is suddenly gone. Angelus whips the sword around in his hand and holds it up to look at it. Buffy scrambles to get her own sword. Drusilla looks up from her fight and gazes at Acathla with a smile.", "Drusilla: Oh... Here he comes. Spike comes up behind her and grabs her around the throat with his arm, choking her.", "Cut to the hospital. Willow continues her chant, but starts to feel weak.", "Willow: Gods, bind him. Cast his heart from the... evil... realm.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy holds up her sword and faces off with Angelus. He holds his own ready to fight her also.", "Angelus: You almost made it, Buff.", "Buffy: It's not over yet.", "Angelus: My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to Hell.", "Buffy: Save me a seat. She thrusts at him with her sword, but he parries and swings around with a thrust of his own, which she also parries. They clash blades several times, and Buffy ducks a wide arcing swing from him. They face off again and trade one thrust and parry after another. Angelus tries another arcing swing from above, but she easily ducks and sidesteps out of the way. They face off again in front of Acathla and trade a few more blows. Angelus tries a swing from above a third time, and again Buffy ducks it and escapes to the side. She jumps up on a low table and swings at him again. He parries, and swings at her legs. She jumps up and over his blade and lands on the floor. He tries for her legs again, but she blocks his attempt with her blade. Again they trade several swings, and Angelus tries a wide swing again, and this time cuts her superficially on the arm. He tries to take advantage of her distraction and comes at her with his sword held high, intending to swing from above, but she drops to the floor and rolls out of the way, so he only manages to smash a bowl on a table behind her. Buffy kicks his legs out from under him and scrambles back up. He turns to face her still on his knees and swings three times in rapid succession, all of which she parries. He swings a fourth time, and this time Buffy knocks his sword into the table with her parry and pins it there. He backhand punches her in the face, and she spins away. He pulls the sword from the table and swings it hard at her. She blocks it with hers, and kicks him in the gut, making him double over. She jumps over him into the clear, and raises her sword to continue the fight. He thrusts, and she parries. Then he kicks her in her sword arm, and she stumbles back a step.", "Cut to the hospital. Willow gets weaker as she chants and breathes heavily.", "Willow: Return. (pants) I call on... (pants)", "Oz: (worried) Willow?", "Cordelia: (worried) Are you okay? Without warning Willow's head snaps back and she looks up with her eyes wide open. Her head snaps back down and her eyes stare into the Orb. She begins to chant steadily in Rumanian as though possessed.", "Willow: Te implor, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte.", "Translation: I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request.", "Oz: (to Cordelia) Is this a good thing?", "Willow: Nici mort, nici al fiintei...", "Translation: Neither dead, nor of the living...", "Cordelia: (freaked out) Hey, speak English!", "Willow: Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta, sufletul la el.", "Translation: Let this Orb be the vessel that will carry his soul to him.", "Cut to Angelus' mansion. The fight has moved out into the atrium. Buffy hits the ground and scrambles back to her feet as Angelus slowly advances. She thrusts, and he parries. She spins around and swings at him, and he blocks her. Her sword bounces off of his and falls with the tip onto the low wall of a planting bed. Angelus stomps on the blade before she can raise it again and knocks it from her grip. He spins around and elbows her in the face, knocking her back into a stone table, which collapses and falls with her.", "Cut to Acathla. Deep thundering growls and noises come from him as he begins to wake.", "Cut to Spike choking Drusilla. She begins to lose consciousness and slumps over in his arms.", "Spike: Sorry, baby. Wish there was another way. When she begins to fall he catches her, lifts her into his arms and starts to carry her out. On the way he passes the doorway to the atrium and glances outside. When he sees them he stops to take a better look. Buffy is backing up against the wall without her sword while Angelus slowly and deliberately advances on her holding his.", "Spike: God, he's gonna kill her. He watches for another moment, then shrugs and heads for the garage with Drusilla.", "Cut to the atrium. Angelus plays with his sword, idly pointing it at Buffy. She looks up at him, frightened.", "Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends... No hope. Buffy closes her eyes and steels herself for whatever's coming.", "Angelus: Take all that away... and what's left? He draws the sword back and thrusts it directly at her face. With lightning-fast reflexes she swings up with both arms and catches the blade between the palms of her hands. She opens her eyes and meets his.", "Buffy: Me. She shoves the blade away from her, and the hilt of the sword hits Angelus in the face. He staggers back, and she hops to her feet and kicks him in the chest. He stumbles back even more, and she reaches down and picks up her sword. She swings it around and thrusts at him, but he manages to parry. They exchange several blows, blocking each other. Buffy spins around and swings her sword down at him from above. He holds up his own to block, but she hits it hard and he falls to one knee. She swings again, and he blocks. She spins around with a roundhouse kick to his side, and he collapses to the ground. Cut outside the garage. Spike smashes through the door with his car. The windows are all painted black. He screeches into the street and guns it. Cut into the car. Drusilla is lying unconscious in the passenger's seat. Spike concentrates on the road and whips around a corner. When heading straight again he looks over at her. He reaches around her neck and pulls her over to him, and holds her close as he keeps driving with only one hand on the wheel.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy kicks Angelus, and he comes flying in through the door, hits the floor and rolls to a stop. Before he can get all the way back to his feet Buffy leaps in and swings her sword at him. He almost misses parrying her blow, and he steps back to get his footing. They exchange a few more swings. Angelus misses a block and gets sliced on his hand.", "Cut to the hospital. The table lurches hard. The camera pans around Willow and closes in on her face.", "Willow: Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!", "Translation: So it shall be! So it shall be! Now!", "Cut to the mansion. Angelus has dropped his sword and holds his cut. Buffy does a high kick to his face, and he falls backward into Acathla and lands on his knees before her.", "Cut to the hospital.", "Willow: Acum!", "Translation: Now! The Orb glows brightly for a brief moment and goes dark. Willow suddenly relaxes, and looks around blankly.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy raises her sword to dispatch Angelus, but stays herself when he suddenly gasps loudly and groans in pain. She sees his eyes glow bright red for an instant and go back dark. He looks up at her, but quickly collapses to the floor, crying. Buffy stares down at him, but still holds her sword raised behind her. Angel raises himself back up, his eyes heavy with tears, and looks into her eyes.", "Angel: (softly) Buffy? (sobs) What's going on? She just looks at him, confused but not yet ready to lower the sword. He looks around a bit and gets to his feet.", "Angel: Where are we? I-I don't remember. Finally Buffy realizes that the curse has worked, and she slowly lowers her sword.", "Buffy: (softly) Angel?", "Angel: (sees her wound) You're hurt. She looks down at her wound and feels his gentle touch on her arm. She ignores her cut, looks back up at him and steps closer. He embraces her tightly.", "Angel: Oh, Buffy... God. She still isn't completely sure that it's true, but accepts the hug.", "Angel: I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Finally she accepts it, closes her eyes and breathes out a deep sigh.", "Angel: Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I... He holds her even more closely.", "Angel: Oh... He sighs deeply and kisses her on the shoulder.", "Angel: Oh, Buffy... She cries into his shoulder and hugs him back. Behind him Acathla lets out a low rumble. Buffy opens her eyes and stares in shock as Acathla's face contorts. His brows angle down, his eyes glow red, his mouth opens grotesquely and the swirling vortex to Hell opens, small at first, but growing steadily in size and emanating a deep, red glow. Buffy lets go of Angel and looks up into his face.", "Angel: (confused) What's happening?", "Buffy: (whispers reassuringly) Shh. Don't worry about it. She brushes her fingers over his lips and across his cheek. She lays her hand on his cheek and kisses him softly. He returns the kiss, and it becomes more passionate. Behind them the vortex has grown to about five feet (1.5 m) across and continues to get larger. Buffy breaks off the kiss and looks deeply into Angel's eyes.", "Buffy: (whispers) I love you.", "Angel: (whispers) I love you. She touches his lips with her fingers again.", "Buffy: Close your eyes. She nods reassuringly, and he closes his eyes. She tries hard not to start crying, and kisses him again gently. She steps back, draws back her sword and thrusts it into his chest. His eyes whip open in surprise and pain, and a bright light emanates from the sword. She steps away from him. He reaches out to her and looks down at the sword thrust completely through him. He looks at her imploringly, completely bewildered by this turn of events. She can only stare at the sword protruding from his chest, and slowly steps further back.", "Angel: Buffy... Behind him the power of the sword begins to swirl into the vortex. Buffy steps further back, still looking only at the sword in his chest and not into his face. The vortex has enlarged to about twelve feet (3.5 m) across, and the two energies begin to interact. Angel still holds out his hand to Buffy. When the vortex finally meets him it suddenly closes into Acathla's mouth without so much as a spark, taking him with it. Buffy stares at the stone demon for a long moment, a light of awareness dawning in her eyes as she truly realizes what she has done, what she has lost. She begins to sob, her heart breaking. In the background \"Full of Grace\", by Sarah McLachlan, begins to play over the scene.", "Lyrics: The winter here is cold... Dissolve to Buffy's street. She walks across it toward her house.", "Lyrics: ...and bitter / It's chilled us to the bone / We haven't seen the sun for weeks / Too long, too far from home She looks at the neighboring houses, then back at hers. Cut into the house. Joyce climbs the steps and looks down the hall at Buffy's door.", "Lyrics: I feel just like I'm sinking", "Joyce: Buffy?", "Lyrics: And I claw for solid ground She walks to Buffy's room and looks in. The windows are open, and some of her daughter's things are strewn on the bed. She steps in and looks around.", "Lyrics: I'm pulled down by the undertow She sees a note on the bed among a bunch of clothes.", "Lyrics: I never thought I could feel so low She picks up the note and reads.", "Lyrics: And, oh, darkness / I feel like letting go She begins to cry as she reads and sits down on the bed.", "Lyrics: If all of the strength and all of the courage / Come and lift me from this place", "Cut to Sunnydale High School. Xander and Giles walk up to Oz pushing Willow in a wheelchair with Cordelia at their side. Giles' walk is a bit unsteady.", "Lyrics: I know I can love you much better than this / Full of grace", "Giles: Willow, are you sure you should be out of bed?", "Willow: Look who's talking.", "Giles: (smiles) Yes.", "Cordelia: Any word?", "Xander: You guys haven't seen her either?", "Willow: No.", "Oz: But we know the world didn't end, 'cause... (looks around) check it out.", "Giles: (takes off his glasses and squints) Well, we, uh... we went back to the mansion. I-it was empty, um... and Acathla was, was... dormant.", "Willow: I think the spell worked. I felt something go through me.", "Cordelia: Plus the Orb did that cool glow thing.", "Xander: Well, maybe it wasn't in time. Maybe she had to kill him before the cure could work.", "Oz: Well, then, she'd wanna be alone, I guess.", "Willow: Or maybe Angel *was* saved, and they want to be alone together.", "Giles: Perhaps.", "Cordelia: Well, she's gotta show up sooner or later. We still have school.", "Willow: Yeah. (looks around for her) She'll be here in a while.", "Lyrics: Where everything we said and did / Hurts us all the more They all turn and head into the school.", "Lyrics: It's just that we stayed too long / In the same old sickly skin", "Cut to Buffy looking at the school from behind a tree. She watches them as they go in.", "Lyrics: I'm pulled down by the undertow / I never thought I could feel so low The camera pans around her to her face, looking sadly at the school. A light breeze sweeps her hair back.", "Lyrics: And, oh, darkness / I feel like letting go She turns around and walks away down the street without looking back.", "Lyrics: If all of the strength and all of the courage / Come and lift me from this place Dissolve to the inside of a bus. Buffy's reflection is visible in the window as it drives by her house.", "Lyrics: I know I can love you much better than this / Full of grace Buffy looks out the window calmly as the bus drives on.", "Cut to a two-lane road leading out of town. The bus passes under the camera on its way.", "Lyrics: I know I can love you much better than this The camera pans down to a sign that reads:", "NOW LEAVING SUNNYDALE", "come back soon!", "Lyrics: It's better this way" ]

[ "Still not knowing Buffy's whereabouts, the rest of the gang return to school and take over the slaying. Meanwhile Buffy, who is now living under an assumed identity, is recognized in a diner, and begins her fight to return home from the Netherworld she has fallen into." ]

[ "The Sunnydale cemetery at night. The camera fades in on a gravestone-- Andrew Hoelich, 1981-1998--and slowly pans down to the ground in front of it. A bouquet of fresh flowers is there. A hand comes out of the freshly filled grave and claws for solid ground. Slowly Andrew pulls himself out of his grave, now a newly made vampire. He growls when his head clears the earth, and continues to climb out on his stomach. He crawls along the ground, pulling out his legs as the camera pulls back, and stops when he sees a pair of wide-spread legs standing before him. He looks up to see who it is.", "Willow: That's right, Big Boy.", "Cut to Willow.", "Willow: (smiles mischievously) Come and get it. Andrew suddenly hops to his feet and roars at her. Taken aback by this, Willow takes a few quick steps backward. The vampire takes two steps toward her. Xander grabs him by the collar of his suit and pulls him back away from Willow. Andrew loses his balance in the process.", "Xander: I got him! Go! Oz jumps out from behind a bush and starts to run toward them, but then hesitates a moment to get a stake from his jacket pocket.", "Xander: Any time now . . . Andrew has regained his balance, and using Xander's grip to stabilize himself, kicks up with both legs and does a double pike snapping kick to Oz's face. Oz stumbles backward and falls. Without pausing, Andrew leaps up again and does a back tuck over Xander's head. Xander tries to rush him, but Andrew uses his momentum to deflect him into Willow. They both go crashing to the ground. Willow moans, but quickly sits up to watch Andrew run away.", "Willow: He's getting away! And . . . ow. Oz scrambles to his feet and picks up his stake. He watches the demon running and holds his stake by the tip, preparing to throw it like a knife. Andrew leaps over a rock and continues running. Oz throws the stake. It whistles through the air as it flies end over end, and hits a gravestone, bouncing off of it with a loud thunk and flying wild.", "Oz: (shaking his head) That really never works. Willow and Xander get up, and Oz turns to them.", "Oz: Are you guys all right?", "Xander: First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?", "Oz: (looking in the direction that Andrew went) Wasn't Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?", "Xander: (gestures with his arm) That's right, he was! (shouting after Andrew) Cheater! Oz gives Xander a brief look and then stares into the distance again looking for Andrew.", "Xander: (to Willow) Okay, and the, uh, second problem I'm having . . . 'Come and get it, Big Boy'?", "Willow: Well . . . (stammering) W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but *you* try it every time.", "Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: 'This time it's personal.' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.", "Xander: (steps away) I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but . . . (picks up his bag) in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted. (steps back)", "Willow: (gives Xander a scolding look) Xander, past tense rule.", "Xander: Oh, sorry. I just meant we in the past took it for granted and, uh . . . we won't when she gets back.", "Willow: Do you think Buffy knows school's starting tomorrow?", "Oz: Tomorrow. (Willow looks at him) Right. Big day.", "Willow: (goes to Oz) Oh, I'm gonna be busy a lot. But, but only till 3:00, and that's when you usually get up.", "Xander: I can't wait to see Cordelia. (pauses) I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia.", "Willow: (smiling) I wonder what our first homework assignment's gonna be. Xander puts his hands on his hips and gives her a look.", "Willow: Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues.", "Oz: I guess we should pack it in.", "Xander: Yeah. They all start to walk away from Andrew's grave.", "Willow: Wouldn't it be great if Buffy just showed up tomorrow? Like nothing happened?", "Xander: She can't just show up, she got kicked out.", "Willow: Well, yeah, I-I know. I just wish . . . I wish we knew where she was.", "Cut to a Los Angeles beach. A wave crashes on the sand. In the far distance a pier stretches out into the water. Buffy steps into view, walking barefoot across the sand. She stops and looks out over the ocean. She closes her eyes and raises her head to just feel the sun on her face and listen to the waves come in. The camera pans down from her face to her waist. A pair of hands reach around her and clasp in front, and she covers them with hers. The camera pans back up to her face. She looks back at Angel leaning his head over her shoulder. She reaches up with her hand and brushes it against his cheek.", "Buffy: How did you find me here?", "Angel: If I was blind, I would see you. She lowers her hand to take his again at her waist and closes her eyes. She embraces his arms tightly to her.", "Buffy: Stay with me.", "Angel: Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. (whispering into her ear) Not even if you kill me. Buffy's expression turns from contented to dismayed.", "Cut to Buffy's tiny apartment in a run-down downtown Los Angeles neighborhood. She wakes from her dream and looks around sadly. Slowly she gets up and goes over to the window overlooking the street below. The camera pans away from the window, past the sidewalk and into the street. A police siren gets louder as it nears, and an instant later an LAPD squad car races across the intersection at the end of the block against the red light. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Behind the counter at a small, sleazy diner named Helen's Kitchen. The cook puts two burgers with fries up on the pick-up counter. A waitress walks past the counter to hang an order on the spinner. Buffy walks behind her to pick up the two burgers. She has her hair in two short braids to keep it out of the way. Her expression emotes a combination of sadness and boredom. She takes the two plates, walks them over to a nearby table and sets them down in front of two roughneck types. They both eye her lecherously. Buffy takes out her order pad.", "Buffy: Anything else?", "Roughneck: That'll do us, Peaches. She tears off their bill and puts it on the table.", "Buffy: Pay at the counter.", "Roughneck: Sure you don't want me to work it off for you? The other roughneck laughs at that. Buffy walks away, and as she goes he reaches out with his hand and slaps her on the behind. Buffy stops in her tracks. The two men just chuckle. She turns her head slightly, but thinks better of doing anything about it. She walks up to another table where a young couple is sitting. They are too into each other to notice Buffy.", "Buffy: You guys ready?", "Rickie: (still looking at his girl) Yeah. I think we're good. Um . . . (looks at Buffy's name tag) 'Anne'. Buffy glances at them briefly, then looks down at her pad to take their order.", "Buffy: What'll you have? Rickie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of change.", "Rickie: Well, okay . . . What can we get with this? He dumps the change onto the table. It's mostly pennies, a few nickels and dimes, no quarters.", "Buffy: Um . . .", "Lily: (to Rickie) Can we get cake?", "Rickie: (to Lily) Don't be stupid. We gotta eat healthy. We can't have cake. (to Buffy) Can we get pie?", "Buffy: We've got a peach pie. (writes the order) I can't guarantee there's a peach in it.", "Lily: (to Rickie) We shouldn't have blown all our money.", "Rickie: (to Lily) Come on, it was worth it. Lily smiles. Rickie looks up at Buffy as the two of them hold out their forearms.", "Rickie: Hey, check this out. Buffy looks at their arms as they hold them out together and sees they each have a tattoo of half of a heart with a ribbon across it. On their respective halves of the ribbon they have the other's name tattooed.", "Buffy: It's nice. It's nice and, uh, permanent. (smiles weakly)", "Rickie: (looking at Lily) Yeah, forever. (puts his arm around Lily) I mean, that's the whole point. Lily looks at him and smiles. Buffy looks down sadly. A moment later she looks up at Lily, and there's a spark of recognition in her face. Lily looks up at Buffy and thinks she also recognizes her.", "Lily: Hey, do I know you?", "Buffy: (looks away) I don't think so.", "Lily: (looks harder) Really? Where're you from?", "Buffy: (avoids the issue) I'll get your pie. Lily watches as Buffy goes to the cash register. Rickie distracts her, and they are in their own little world again. At the register Buffy puts down the order. The other waitress looks at her.", "Buffy: I'm not feeling great. (unties her apron) Do you think you can cover for me?", "Waitress: Sure. (looks at the order) Okay. Buffy gives Rickie and Lily one last look and goes out of the diner.", "Cut to the Sunnydale High School library. Students are busy looking for books they will need during the semester. Willow and Giles walk out of the stacks on the mezzanine level. Willow has several books in her arms.", "Giles: So, no joy at the cemetery? They come down the stairs.", "Willow: No, he got away. We still have some glitches in the system, like . . . vampires getting away. But I think we're improving. (smiles) They split up as Giles heads through the door to go behind the check-out counter.", "Giles: For God's sake be careful. (they meet at the counter) I mean, uh, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but, uh . . . Well, if anything should happen to you and . . . you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss. Giles scans Willow's books to check them out.", "Willow: You'd be cranky?", "Giles: Entirely.", "Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. (the phone in Giles' office rings) That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed.' She takes the books and stacks them together again.", "Giles: Good, good. (taps on one of her books) I think you're going to love that one. (goes to get the phone) Willow picks the books up and starts out of the library. Before she can take more than a few steps, Cordelia comes up to her.", "Willow: Hi!", "Cordelia: Hey, Willow. (puts her bag on the counter)", "Willow: How was your summer?", "Cordelia: Oh, I can't believe you brought that up. Las Palmas was the nightmare resort. They order you around and make you have organized (makes quotes with her fingers) 'fun', and I used sarcastic quote marks. (takes her bag and starts out) Plus the fact there are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property. It was all about dread. How was your summer?", "Willow: Oh, it was okay. They walk through the library doors and into the hall.", "Cordelia: Is Xander around?", "Willow: Well, uh, yeah. Somewhere. They stop in the hall.", "Cordelia: Good. Great. I haven't seen him yet. (pulls her hair behind her ears) Do I look okay?", "Willow: Oh, yeah! (nods and smiles)", "Cordelia: (worried) How's my hair?", "Willow: Uh, it's good! (smiles)", "Cordelia: He didn't meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who's he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff? But then again he's always been attracted to monsters. (worried) How's my hair?", "Willow: Still good. She turns to leave and sees Oz.", "Willow: (smiles hugely) Hi! Cordelia grabs her arm and turns her around to look at her.", "Cordelia: Maybe he's forgotten me. (lets go) Well, I'll just have to make him remember. (smiles) See ya. (walks off)", "Willow: (turns back to Oz) You came to visit me. (sees his books) You came with books? Are they books for me?", "Oz: Well, actually, they're kind of for me.", "Willow: I don't get it.", "Oz: Well, it's sort of a funny story. (they walk) You remember when I didn't graduate?", "Willow: Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that's what summer school was for.", "Oz: Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn't go? Two students run past them, and the camera follows them down the hall past a teacher.", "Teacher: Whoa. Slow down, people. (they stop running) Summer is over. Be somber. Willow and Oz walk by as the teacher goes back into his classroom.", "Willow: But you never said anything. How am I supposed to react to this rather alarming news?", "Oz: Well, actually, I was pretty much banking on you finding it cute.", "Willow: Well, traditionally, you know, repeating a grade isn't exactly a turn-on. (they stop by the lounge) A-and you're practically a genius. You're Mr. Test Scores. I-it's all a little weird.", "Oz: So the cute thing is out? Xander rushes up to them.", "Xander: Have you guys seen Cordelia?", "Willow: Yeah. She's around here somewhere.", "Xander: I don't want to come on too geeky, but, uh, okay, I'm psyched! (flashes a big grin) There's gonna be some heat, if you know what I mean, so you guys might want to duck and cover. (Willow sighs) And I'm starting to be geeky. (grins again) Okay, bye. (he goes, but comes right back) How's my--", "Willow: (interrupts) Your hair is fine.", "Xander: (big grin) Cool. (darts away) Larry and another jock walk behind Willow and Oz, and the camera follows them into the lounge.", "Larry: This is our year, I'm telling you. Best football season ever. I'm so in shape, I'm a rock. (they stop by the vending machines) It's all about egg whites. If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna *rule*! Willow and Oz walk into the lounge on the other side of the tables.", "Willow: I'm trying to get to cute, really. But I'm still sorta stuck on 'strange'.", "Oz: Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to 'eccentric' with an option on 'cool'. They walk past the raised area where the couches are. Behind them Xander and Cordelia finally meet. The camera closes in on them.", "Xander: Hey!", "Cordelia: Hey.", "Xander: Good summer?", "Cordelia: It was all right.", "Xander: Cool!", "Cordelia: (sounding disappointed) Yeah. They stand around looking uncertain for a moment.", "Xander: Well, I'll see ya.", "Cordelia: Yeah, whatever. He turns and goes down the steps. Cordelia walks the other way toward the hall.", "Cut to Buffy's apartment. She's sitting calmly on the edge of her bed in her nightshirt, holding a can of Spaghetti-O's in her lap. The camera pans up from the can to her face. She just stares blankly into the room, breathing calmly.", "Cut to the street in front of Helen's Kitchen. Buffy walks along the street. A homeless man is sitting on the curb. Ken, the local shelter operator, approaches the man and crouches down beside him, holding out one of his leaflets.", "Ken: Hey, how are you? Can I talk to you for a moment? I have something you might be interested in. Buffy continues walking and passes a store with a recessed entryway. A homeless woman is cowering there.", "Homeless woman: I'm no one. Buffy looks at the woman.", "Homeless woman: I'm no one. Buffy looks away and hides her face from the woman by pulling her hair behind her ear. Her expression becomes very sad.", "Homeless woman: I'm no one.", "Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone in his office.", "Giles: Yes? Thank you, thank you. He hangs up, puts the phone down, grabs his coat and quickly comes out of the office.", "Giles: I have a lead. Willow and Xander look up from doing their homework at the table.", "Giles: A friend in Oakland has a-a-a sketchy report of a . . . (grabs his overcoat) young girl fending off a group of vampires . . . (grabs his bag) about a week ago. (looks at his watch) There's a plane out in about an hour. Willow and Xander exchange a look.", "Xander: And what makes this different from the last nine leads?", "Giles: Well, I believe there's a meal on this flight.", "Xander: Look, I don't mean to poop the party here, it's just, you get your hopes all up, and then it's just a big fat raspberry, and I feel bad.", "Willow: But it's good that you're looking, though. You shouldn't give up.", "Xander: Oh, yeah. Definitely.", "Giles: Yes, one must try. Well, I-I-I should go. (rushes out)", "Willow: You don't think maybe he'll find her?", "Xander: I think he'll find her when she wants to be found. They go back to doing their homework.", "Cut to a street in L.A. at night. Buffy slowly walks along to her apartment. Behind her, Lily follows her.", "Lily: Anne? Buffy doesn't respond.", "Lily: (louder) Anne? Still no response from Buffy.", "Lily: Buffy? Buffy stops in her tracks. Lily catches up.", "Lily: Don't be mad. I won't turn you in or nothing. I guess you don't recognize me.", "Buffy: (thinks for a moment) Lily?", "Lily: I mean from before. I was calling myself Chantarelle then. I used to . . . (sighs) Well, I was in this cult that worshipped vampires. So lame, I know.", "Buffy: Yeah . . . I, uh, I remember.", "Lily: But . . . you kinda saved us. I never thanked you or anything.", "Buffy: Did you tell anyone who I was?", "Lily: Oh, no! Not-not even Rickie. I mean, I was so surprised to see you here, waiting tables . . . But I wouldn't tell. I know how it is when you gotta get lost. They start to walk again.", "Buffy: Do you, uh, do you live nearby?", "Lily: Well, there's a couple of places. Uh, they're abandoned, and a lot of people stay there. (pauses) So how come you came up with Anne?", "Buffy: It's my middle name.", "Lily: Lily's from a song. Rickie picked it. I'm always changing anyway. Chantarelle was part of my exotic phase.", "Buffy: It's nice. It's a . . .it's a mushroom.", "Lily: It is? That's really embarrassing.", "Buffy: Um, well, i-it's an exotic mushroom, if that's any comfort.", "Lily: Well, before that, I was following this loser preacher and calling myself \"Sister Sunshine.\"", "Buffy: What do they call you at home? Lily looks away and doesn't respond.", "Buffy: I like Lily.", "Lily: It's cool for now. Hey, do you have any money? They stop, and Buffy gives her a surprised look.", "Lily: I didn't mean that like-- Well, I just mean . . . I know this guy, he's gonna have this kinda rave thing in his basement. We could go. I mean, I could show you if you had-- 'Cause I'm broke.", "Buffy: I-I don't think so. I just kind of . . . I want to be alone.", "Lily: I didn't mean to bug you.", "Buffy: No! I-I didn't, I didn't mean that, it's just . . . Well, a-a lot of people like that, it's, it's too much. Lily crosses her arms and looks very disappointed. Buffy looks down and starts to dig through her purse.", "Buffy: I-I do have the money, though, so, why don't you and Rickie go, and then maybe I could meet you some other time-- Lily raises her hands and waves off the offer.", "Lily: No. It's okay, it's okay. Forget about it. Just-- A homeless man rudely pushes his way between them. The two girls both stare after him.", "Lily: That's not very polite. The man turns around and looks blankly back at them.", "Buffy: Are you okay?", "Homeless man: I'm no one. He turns back around and walks into the traffic on the street. Buffy's eyes widen with concern. The man stops in the middle of a lane in front of an oncoming pickup truck and faces it, arms stretched wide. Buffy drops her bag and rushes into the street. The pickup driver honks his horn and slams on the brakes. The truck starts to skid. Buffy pushes the man out of the way in time to save him, but not in time to avoid getting hit herself. She gets hit hard in the legs by the bumper. Her body snaps down hard onto the hood of the truck and she slides into the windshield. She bounces back and slides off of the hood as the truck screeches to a halt. She hits the pavement, flips over backward and rolls to a stop in the middle of the street. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The street. The driver quickly gets out of the pickup cab and runs over to Buffy lying in the street, but Lily reaches her first. Buffy is on her hands and knees trying to get up. People from all around come rushing into the street.", "Lily: Are you okay?", "Driver: Jeez, I didn't see you. He takes her by the arms and helps her up.", "Lily: Oh . . . Maybe, maybe you shouldn't move.", "Driver: Maybe you should lie down. Buffy looks around nervously at all of the people gathering.", "Buffy: No, I'm fine.", "Driver: Somebody call an ambulance! Buffy holds up her hands to fend of everyone's help.", "Buffy: No! I'm okay, I just . . . I need to go. She runs off, apparently not the least bit hurt.", "Cut to further down the street. Buffy is walking at a brisk pace as she goes around a corner. There she bumps into Ken and knocks all of his leaflets onto the sidewalk.", "Ken: Whoa! (sees his leaflets) Oh . . . They both crouch down to pick up the papers.", "Ken: Where are you running to?", "Buffy: Sorry.", "Ken: Maybe I should ask, where are you running from? They've finished gathering up his leaflets and stand back up. Ken takes a good look at Buffy.", "Ken: You're pretty new around here. Uh, you've got the 'look', though.", "Buffy: The 'look'?", "Ken: Like you had to grow up way too fast. What's your name?", "Buffy: Anne. (pushes past him to go)", "Ken: Hey, um, I'm Ken. Here, go ahead, take one of these. He holds out a leaflet, and Buffy looks at it. It reads \"Come home to Family Home\", and has a drawing of a house and a silhouette of a man reaching out to hug a child.", "Ken: Don't be shy about stopping by. I mean, I guess you're not starving, but . . . we're not just interested in feeding the body. You might find something you're missing.", "Buffy: (looks up at him) I'm alright.", "Ken: (gives her a look of disbelief) Then why are you here? (Buffy looks away) This is not a good place for a kid to be. You get old fast here. (Buffy looks up at him knowingly) The thing that drains the life out of them is despair. I mean, kids come here, and they got nothing to go home to, and . . . this ends up being the last stop for a lot of them. (Buffy looks down the street) Shouldn't have to be that way. \"Back to Freedom\" by Bellylove starts playing as several shots of homeless people are shown.", "Lyrics: Ooo-ooo-ooo / On my way to freedom A woman alone in the street, a boy and girl huddling together on the curb, a young boy begging from a businessman who rejects him as he walks by, a woman with a dirty face looking into the camera.", "Lyrics: I ask myself", "Cut to the Bronze. Bellylove is on stage performing their ballad.", "Lyrics: Why did I come again? / To find my own way to freedom The camera pans from above down to the singer, then over to the guitar player.", "Lyrics: And the change is gonna come / I'm gonna find my way / Find my way / Find my way back to freedom The camera pans around behind the singer, showing the people in the club. It's not a busy night. Xander is lounging on a couch off to the side. Willow is sitting in the loveseat set at a right angle to the couch.", "Lyrics: I'm gonna find my way / Find my way / Find my way / Find my way back to freedom The camera cuts closer to Xander and Willow.", "Xander: Boy, I'm glad we showed up for \"Depressing Night.\"", "Willow: I wonder what she's doing right now.", "Xander: Oh, I know what she's doing. Gabbing to all of her friends about her passionate affair with Pedro the Cabana Boy, laughing about me, thinking how she still might have feelings about me. He glances over at Willow and sees her sadly raise her eyebrows at him.", "Xander: Oh, it's possible you were talking about Buffy.", "Willow: It's possible. The Bronze just never seems the same without her. Oz arrives, hands Xander a drink and sits down next to Willow.", "Xander: Yeah, and the slaying isn't getting any easier, either.", "Oz: I don't know. I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down.", "Xander: We're losing half the vamps.", "Oz: Yeah, but . . . rhythmically.", "Willow: We just need to work on our timing, I think.", "Xander: (looks up) No, I know what we need.", "Oz: A Vampire Slayer?", "Xander: Next best thing. Willow follows his gaze and sees Cordelia coming into the Bronze with a few friends.", "Lyrics: Ooo-ooo / My own way to freedom", "Xander: Bait.", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut inside. Joyce is writing out a few bills. She hears a knocking at the door, and looks up. She goes over to the door and answers it. She is surprised at who she sees standing there.", "Joyce: Uh, hello.", "Giles: Hello. Um, may I . . . (gestures inside)", "Joyce: Oh, uh, of course. (waves him in) Come on in.", "Giles: Thank you. (slowly walks into the living room) I've, uh, just come back from Oakland. A friend of mine called with a lead. Stories about someone fighting vampires. (takes off his glasses) It, uh, didn't pan out, I'm afraid. (starts to clean them)", "Joyce: (sighs) No Buffy.", "Giles: No vampires. Bunch of school kids in heavy mascara listening to extremely silly music.", "Joyce: Well, thank you for going. (steps into the living room and crosses her arms) I can hardly, uh . . . (exhales and smiles weakly) I can hardly leave the house. I'm just afraid she'll call and she'll need my help.", "Giles: (puts his glasses back on) Buffy is the most capable child I've ever known. I mean, she may be confused, u-unhappy, but I, uh, honestly believe she's in no danger.", "Joyce: (lowers her arms) I just wish I could talk to her. The last thing we did was fight. (fidgets with her hands)", "Giles: Joyce, you mustn't blame yourself for her leaving.", "Joyce: (nods) I don't. (takes a breath) I blame you. (exhales) Giles is taken aback.", "Joyce: You've been this huge influence on her, guiding her. You had this whole relationship with her behind my back. I feel like you've taken her away from me. Giles is speechless for a moment while he considers his answer.", "Giles: I didn't make Buffy who she is.", "Joyce: And who exactly is she? Giles just looks at her.", "Cut to Helen's Kitchen. Buffy is filling the sugar dispensers at the counter. Lily comes in and walks up to her.", "Lily: Buff--um, Anne? Can I talk to you? Buffy glances up at her, but doesn't stop her work.", "Buffy: Look, this really isn't a good time. Can it wait?", "Lily: Rickie's gone. I haven't seen him for more than a day. I--he's never left for that long. I think something's . . . happened. Maybe something's happened.", "Buffy: Well, did you call the police?", "Lily: (sighs) Rickie skipped out on his parole. Uh, they would just cause more trouble.", "Buffy: (exhales) I don't know, did you, did you ask around?", "Lily: Can you help me?", "Buffy: Uh, I-I can't. (walks away)", "Lily: (follows) But . . . but that's who you are and stuff, right? I mean, you help people, and, you know--", "Buffy: I can't get into this. I'm sorry, Lily.", "Lily: You, you know how to do stuff.", "Buffy: I don't. (exhales) Not anymore.", "Lily: But . . . (whining) I don't know what to do.", "Cut to the blood bank. Lily and Buffy come in.", "Lily: We gave blood lots of times 'cause you get a few bucks. And they have cookies!", "Buffy: You're a fan of the sugar rush?", "Lily: (smiles) It's nice.", "Nurse: Hi. You here to donate blood?", "Buffy: Uh, we're looking for a friend.", "Lily: Rickie T.? We come in sometimes.", "Nurse: Rickie, sure. Uh, he's not here.", "Buffy: Well, do you know if he's been in the last day or so?", "Nurse: Well, let me check the sheet.", "Man: (off camera) Ow! Buffy looks squeamish as she looks over and sees him being stuck with a needle.", "Buffy: This'll probably go faster if we split up.", "Lily: (nods in agreement) Can I come with you?", "Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole \"splitting up\" thing?", "Lily: (smiles) Oh. Sorry.", "Buffy: I was thinking we could check out some of your hangouts and, um, I guess, meet later at my place.", "Lily: Okay.", "Nurse: Sorry, guys. He hasn't been here.", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Nurse: I'll tell him you were looking.", "Buffy: Great. They leave the blood bank. The nurse loses her friendly demeanor as she watches them go. She swallows and begins to look around nervously.", "Cut to a street at night. Cut to an abandoned building. A homeless man stirs from his sleep as he hears Buffy come in, but goes back to sleep when he sees it's not the cops. Buffy makes her way through the building, being careful not to step on anyone. Some of them watch her as she goes by. She walks slowly along a dark hall and turns a corner. She is startled by a man with his arms full walking the other way behind her. She continues along and soon notices an old man lying on the floor, dead. The same old man that Buffy earlier saved from the truck. Next to his head is an empty bottle of drain cleaner, an apparent suicide. Buffy kneels next to him and feels for a pulse. Nothing. She puts his arm down and sees that there's a tattoo of half a heart on his forearm with a banner across the heart and the name Lily tattooed on it. Buffy looks at the old man, confused.", "Buffy: Rickie?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's apartment. Lily is there waiting for her to return. She finds Buffy's stuffed duck and picks it up to stroke it. Buffy opens the door, comes in and closes it behind her. Lily puts the duck down and steps closer to Buffy.", "Lily: Did you find Rickie? I thought of--well, he likes to go to this movie house, you can get in around the back--", "Buffy: (interrupting) Lily . . . I think he's dead.", "Lily: (very sad and lost) But . . . he takes care of me.", "Buffy: I'm sorry.", "Lily: We're gonna get a place. His cousin can get him a job at the car wash.", "Buffy: Lily, there's (exhales) there's something else. (sits on the bed) The, the person that I found . . . was old. He-he looked about eighty.", "Lily: Well, that's not Rickie!", "Buffy: I'm sure it was. I, I don't know how, but . . . it was like something drained the life out of him.", "Lily: Do you mean like a vampire?", "Buffy: No. A vampire couldn't accelerate the aging process. Maybe it was something in his blood. (has a thought) When was the last time you guys gave blood together?", "Lily: I don't understand. Maybe it's not Rickie, okay?", "Buffy: (stands up) Lily, this is something you're just gonna have to deal with.", "Lily: (flustered) But he didn't do anything wrong! Why would this happen to him?", "Buffy: That's *not* the point. (Lily calms a bit) These things happen all the time. You can't just . . . close your eyes and hope that they're gonna go away.", "Lily: Is it 'cause of you?", "Buffy: (confused) What?", "Lily: You know about . . . monsters and stuff. You could have brought this with you.", "Buffy: (very annoyed) I didn't bring anything with me. And I didn't ask for you to come to me with your problems. I just wanted to be left alone. If you can't deal, then *don't* lay it off on me! Lily can't take it. She holds up her hands to deny what she's hearing and walks out of the apartment. Buffy sighs, regretting raising her voice to Lily.", "Cut to the street. Lily stops walking and leans against the iron gates pulled across a storefront. Ken comes up behind her.", "Ken: Are you okay? Lily shakes her head, barely able to keep from crying.", "Ken: Hey, it's okay. Maybe I can help.", "Lily: (sniffles) You can't. (breathes deeply)", "Ken: Look, I know you all think I'm a big square handing out leaflets about hope. But hope is a real thing, just like despair. And hope can fill up a part of you that's missing.", "Lily: But Rickie . . .", "Ken: Rickie? Say, are you Lily? (smiles) Right! Right, he was talking about you.", "Lily: (faces him) You've seen Rickie?", "Ken: Oh, sure! Rickie's with us now.", "Lily: She said he was dead.", "Ken: Well, someone's sure handed you a tall tale. Rickie's no more dead than I am. Why don't you come to Family Home? We'll get you taken care of. Lily considers for a moment. Ken smiles at her, and she nods in agreement. He takes her by the arm and leads her away.", "Cut to the blood bank. A shadow appears on the other side of the frosted glass of the door. The camera pans down to the doorknob being jiggled. Suddenly it gets ripped out of the door. Cut to a filing cabinet. Buffy is looking through it to find Rickie's records. She grabs it and a few others, closes the cabinet and takes the folders over to a desk. She turns on a lamp and begins to go through them. First she pulls out Rickie's and opens it. She scans his latest donation form. It looks normal, except for the word \"candidate\" in the comments box.", "Buffy: Candidate for what? Behind her the nurse quietly walks in. Buffy opens another record and sees \"candidate\" again.", "Nurse: What are you doing?", "Buffy: Breaking into your office and going through your private files. (looks at another file) Candidate for what?", "Nurse: I'm calling the police. She steps toward Buffy to get to the phone. Buffy reaches over to the phone and yanks it off of the wall. It falls to the desk with its wires torn.", "Buffy: Now, you've got a whole bunch of candidates here. I wonder if any of them are missing like Rickie. (faces the nurse) Gosh, I bet they are.", "Nurse: You're getting yourself in a lot of trouble.", "Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share. (the nurse looks at her nervously) What are you doing with these kids?", "Nurse: Nothing. I just . . . I give him the names of the healthy ones.", "Buffy: Give them to who?", "Cut to Family Home. Ken looks at Lily, who is wearing only a simple long tunic.", "Ken: Well, don't you look nice?", "Lily: I guess.", "Ken: Well, you don't want to wear your own outfit to the cleansing. It'll get soaked.", "Lily: A cleansing is like a baptism? Right?", "Ken: Not quite the same. Indicates the way. She follows him.", "Lily: Will I see Rickie after?", "Ken: Oh, of course. He's waiting for you. He's very excited.", "Cut to the Sunnydale cemetery. Xander, Cordelia, Willow and Oz walk along a pathway. Oz is twirling a stake.", "Cordelia: Why do I have to be bait? I'm always bait. Why can't Willow be bait?", "Xander: He's already seen Willow. And could you complain louder so that all the vampires leave?", "Oz: I think this is a good spot. They all stop and look around.", "Oz: Is everybody packin'? Willow and Xander each pull out a stake. Willow also has a cross.", "Oz: Let's do it. Willow, Oz and Xander split up and look for places to hide, leaving Cordelia alone out in the open. Cordelia is not liking this, and she quickly makes tracks after Xander.", "Cordelia: I'm doing this for Buffy's sake. This has nothing to do with you.", "Xander: Yeah, like I needed that cleared up. (finds a hiding place) Go away. This is my hiding spot.", "Cordelia: Where do I hide?", "Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.", "Cordelia: What's the plan?", "Xander: The vampire attacks you.", "Cordelia: And then what?", "Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice. Willow overhears from her hiding place and sighs.", "Cordelia: Everything's a joke with you.", "Xander: No, just our relationship.", "Cordelia: What relationship? Willow looks down at her stake, contemplating using it on them. Andrew appears behind her and smiles evilly.", "Xander: Oh, that's right, I forgot. We actually want to bury that piece of the past, don't we? Andrew begins to sneak up on Willow.", "Cut to Family Home. The camera shows a small rectangular pool of what looks like black tar, and pans up from it to Ken and Lily walking into the room.", "Ken: We come to this station to wash away the past. Go ahead, kneel. He indicates the edge of the pool, and Lily kneels down. Ken squats next to her.", "Ken: We let the water run over the sin and the pain and the uncertainty.", "Lily: It looks kinda . . . dirty.", "Ken: (smiles) Yeah.", "Cut to the front door of Family Home. A man comes up to the door where another man is already listening to Buffy talk.", "Buffy: You know, I just . . . I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, \"hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm . . . I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the . . . s*x and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W--\" (sees that the guy isn't buying it) Oh, I just suck at undercover. Where's Ken? The man tries to slam the door closed, but she kicks it open and it slams into his face instead. She marches in.", "Cut to Ken and Lily. She reaches down to the black water in the pool. For a moment she hesitates, but then puts her hand in. The liquid is thick and pitch-black, and her hand disappears in it. Buffy swings open the door, banging it loudly into the wall. Ken looks at her and stands up.", "Ken: This is a private moment. If you could just--", "Buffy: How do you make 'em old, Ken? Do you feed on youth? What's the deal?", "Ken: Do you really wanna know?", "Lily: (looks back) What's going on? Buffy is surprised to see Lily there. Suddenly something grabs Lily. She screams as she is pulled into the pool and disappears into the black slime. Buffy runs to help, but Ken grabs her and chokes her with his arm around her neck. Buffy grabs his arm and tries to snap her body back to make him release her, but instead they just both fall into the pool as well.", "Cut to a dimly lit passageway. Buffy and Ken fall out of a black pool in the ceiling. Buffy briefly looks up at the pool, then looks around to see where she is. She sees Lily leaning against the wall holding her head.", "Buffy: Lily. She rolls over onto her hands and knees and quickly crawls over to Lily. Ken is faring worse, apparently hurt in the fall.", "Lily: (in pain) Oh . . . Buffy looks up at the pool in the ceiling. The waves from her fall through it are beginning to dissipate.", "Ken: Oh, my face! Buffy looks over at Ken.", "Ken: Ow! My face! He turns toward them and begins to pull his face and his hair off.", "Ken: Do you have any idea how hard it is to glue that thing on?! Beneath his mask Ken's face is red and his head is bald. There appear to be pieces of skin missing from his forehead, revealing the even redder flesh beneath. Lily begins to panic. Buffy starts to get to her feet and tries to pull Lily up with her. Ken stands up.", "Ken: (yells) Guards! Buffy takes Lily's hand and begins to run, pulling her along. Two guards show up. Their faces are even more mangled and raw-looking than Ken's. One of the guards hands Ken a club. They begin to pursue the girls. Buffy and Lily run through a maze of halls and come out on a ledge that overlooks what looks like a large iron works. There are huge vats of molten metal, sparks are flying through the air from one side, and it is hot and smoky. Buffy looks closer, and in the shadows sees people being used as slave labor, kept in line by more guards with whips. The camera pans through the place showing zombie-like humans pounding the metal on anvils, pushing wheelbarrows from place to place and swinging sledgehammers. Some of them cough hard as they work. The guards watch and crack their whips every so often. Ken comes up behind Lily as she takes in the scene.", "Ken: Welcome to my world. I hope you like it. Buffy and Lily look back at him. He hits Buffy hard in the face with his club, knocking her out.", "Ken: (to Lily) You're never leaving. He smiles and licks his lips. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Sunnydale cemetery. Cordelia and Xander are still arguing.", "Xander: Let me just ask you one thing: how long did it take you to forget me? Were you still taxiing down the runway, or was it actually in the cab?", "Cordelia: Oh, yeah, Mr. Faithful? You probably met up with some hot little Inca Mummy Girl. Yeah! I heard about her. Xander raises his finger at her and is about to respond when they hear Willow get tackled to the ground and scream.", "Willow: Help! Their attention is immediately diverted to Willow, and they begin to run to her aid. Oz is quicker and beats them there. He jumps over Andrew and grabs him on the way, using his momentum to pull Andrew off of Willow and then throw him aside. Andrew and Willow both quickly get to their feet. Oz holds up his stake, ready to attack Andrew. Willow runs away. Oz lunges at Andrew, but he just diverts Oz to the side and sends him rolling to the ground. Next Xander comes at Andrew, stake held ready, but Andrew grabs his staking arm by the wrist with one hand and his shoulder with the other, and they begin to struggle. Cordelia watches them struggle, worried.", "Cordelia: Xander! She decides to join the fight, and attacks Andrew from behind, pushing him and Xander down to the ground. They end up with Andrew sandwiched between Xander on the bottom and Cordelia on the top. With Cordelia's weight on top of him and Xander's leverage against the ground, Andrew can't hold back the stake any longer, and it plunges into his chest. He explodes into ashes between them, and Cordelia falls down on top of Xander. The two of them look at each other for an instant, then grab each other and start kissing passionately.", "Cut to Ken's world. Buffy is lying on the floor in a cell. Lily is sitting on the floor behind her leaning against a pillar. Buffy regains consciousness, rolls onto her side and feels her head where Ken hit her. No blood, but she is still a bit dazed.", "Buffy: Oh. Unh . . . (slowly sits up) Lily?", "Lily: I always knew I would come here . . . sooner or later. I knew I belonged here.", "Buffy: (looks around) Where?", "Lily: Hell.", "Buffy: (turns her head toward Lily) This isn't Hell.", "Ken: (appears at the bars) Isn't it? Buffy spins her head around to look at Ken, but quickly regrets moving it so fast.", "Buffy: (in pain) Unh . . . (rubs her forehead)", "Ken: What is Hell but the total absence of hope? The substance, the tactile proof of despair. You're right, Lily. This is where you've been heading all your life. Just like Rickie.", "Lily: Rickie?", "Ken: He forgot you. Well, it took him a long time. He remembered your name years after he'd forgotten his own. But, in the end--", "Lily: Years? But--", "Ken: Oh. Uh, interesting thing: time moves more quickly here than in your reality. A hundred long years will pass here. On Earth, it's just a day.", "Buffy: So you just work us till we're too old and spit us back out.", "Ken: That's the plan. See, Lily, you'll die of old age before anyone wonders where you went. Not that anyone will, that's why we chose you.", "Buffy: You didn't choose me.", "Ken: No. But . . . I know you . . . *Anne*. So afraid. So pathetically determined to run away from whatever it is you used to be. (Buffy looks away) To disappear. Congratulations. (Buffy looks at him again) You got your wish.", "Cut to a personnel elevator. The huge steel door splits open, the upper half rising, the lower half sinking. A group of young slaves including Buffy and Lily is herded out. Buffy trips and falls to the floor. The other slaves stop walking. A guard starts to explain things to the new recruits as Buffy slowly gets back to her feet.", "Guard: You work, and you live. That is all. The guard has even less skin on his head than Ken. He's wearing a hood that looks like it's made of human skin sewn together. His chin and cheeks are exposed flesh and muscle, and he has no lips covering his teeth. Buffy is standing again, holding her head in pain.", "Guard: You do not complain or laugh or do anything besides work. Whatever you thought, whatever you were, does not matter. You are no one now. You mean nothing. The guard walks to one end of the group and faces the boy standing there. Behind them the elevator doors close with a slam.", "Guard: Who are you?", "Aaron: (afraid) Aaron. The guard whales hard on him with his club, and the boy grunts in pain and falls to the floor unconscious. Buffy immediately sobers, and stares intensely ahead. The guard advances to Lily.", "Guard: Who are you?", "Lily: (whimpers) No one. The guard continues to the next person.", "Guard: Who are you?", "Boy#2: (fearfully) No one. The guard reaches Buffy.", "Guard: Who are you? She looks up at him for a moment, and then smiles.", "Buffy: (friendly) I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are? The guard is incensed at her insubordination, and roars as he wields back his club to strike her. He swings at Buffy, but she sidesteps him and grabs his arm as he bends over from his follow-through. Buffy slams her other forearm down on the guard's, breaking it. He falls to the floor in pain. She picks up his club and swings it at another guard, striking him in the head. She swings again the opposite way at a third guard, hitting him in the gut. They both fall unconscious. Buffy looks over at the group of would-be slaves.", "Buffy: Anyone who's not having fun here, follow me. She starts to run, and the group follows her.", "Cut to a shot of the main iron works from above. The vats of molten metal glow brightly. There are sparks flying everywhere. Cut to the slaves working below. The camera pans up to a ledge where two guards are watching them work. Cut to a guard walking down a metal staircase. Buffy and the small group are hiding beneath it.", "Buffy: (looking up at the guards) There's no way we can get back up there without meeting new people. (looks at Lily) Okay. Lily, when those guards leave--and they will leave--I want you to take these people and get them up there, okay? Fast and quiet.", "Lily: You're leaving me? But--", "Buffy: Lily . . . You can handle this. 'Cause I say so. Suddenly a siren begins to wail loudly.", "Buffy: We've gone public. Okay, quick, get them up. Go! Quiet! Lily begins to lead them away, but comes back.", "Lily: I'm sorry I said this was your fault before.", "Buffy: Lily, this can wait.", "Lily: Well, in case we die--", "Buffy: Go! Go! Lily runs off to lead the group out. Buffy sees two guards coming for them and leads them away at a run. She winds around through the slaves still blindly working away.", "Guard: Get out of the way! The guards are big and bulky compared to her small figure darting through the maze, but they manage to keep up.", "Guard: Come on, get out of the way! She sees a pole jutting out of the floor and grabs onto it, swings around once and knocks one of the guards out with an aerial side kick. She lets go of the pole and begins to run again. She reaches a platform, shoulder rolls onto it and rises to a standing position. Her pursuer jumps up onto the stage and tries a backhand swing at her with his sledgehammer, but she ducks and blocks his second swing. The guard kicks up with his knee and gets Buffy in the stomach, stunning her. He punches her, making her fall to the floor. He takes a swing at Buffy's head, but she clamps her hands around the hammer's handle and yanks him up and over her. He slams down hard onto his shoulder and rolls off of the platform. Buffy still has his hammer and quickly gets to her feet. The two other guards on the ledge leave their post and begin to approach her.", "Cut to Lily leading the group to a set of stairs. She ushers them up.", "Lily: C'mon, c'mon, everybody go! Go! One after the other they quickly climb the stairs. Lily brings up the rear. On the platform Buffy continues to fight another guard. She quickly hits him in the head with a full spinning out-to-in crescent kick. He takes the blow hard and falls off of the platform. Still another guard takes a swing at Buffy's legs with his sledgehammer, but she jumps high to avoid the swing. Buffy swings her hammer into the guard's face, knocking him down. As he tries to get up, Buffy knocks him down again with a snapping roundhouse kick to his arm, kicking his hammer away in the process. The guard gets to his feet. Buffy swings her hammer in an uppercut, striking him in the jaw and sending him flying off of the platform in a backflip. Yet another guard jumps up onto the platform and tackles Buffy, struggling to get the hammer out of her hands.", "Cut to a ledge. Ken and two more guards come out to see what's going on. Ken can't believe what he is seeing. Cut below. Buffy does a roundhouse kick to the guard's face, and he stumbles backwards. Another guard comes up to the edge of the platform holding a battle-ax with a curved blade. He looks at the fighting for a moment, then moves to jump up onto the platform.", "Cut to Ken on the ledge.", "Ken: Humans don't fight back. Cut below. The guard on the platform tries to pound Buffy's head with his club, but she holds her hammer high, blocking his attack and making him drop his weapon.", "Ken: (enraged) Humans don't fight back! Buffy swings down with her hands, carrying the guard's hands as well. She grabs him by the neck, spins around once and throws him through the air. He hits a steel beam and slumps to the ground. The guard with the battle-ax is up on the platform now and takes a wide swing with it at Buffy, but she leans aside and he misses.", "Ken: That's how this works! Buffy manages to duck the guard's next swing, avoiding decapitation. He swings again from above, but she blocks his attack with her hammer, and the head of the ax embeds itself in the handle. Buffy performs a front snap kick that dislodges the ax and knocks the weapon out of the guard's hands and spinning up into the air. She kneels down and knocks his legs out from under him with her hammer. While she's crouched, she looks up at the battle-ax as it falls and catches the airborne weapon. She gets to her feet, as does her assailant. Buffy does another roundhouse kick to his face, and he goes flying off of the platform.", "Ken: (to the guards with him) Get down there! The two guards run to obey. On the platform the camera pans in close to Buffy as she looks around, temporarily without an opponent. Suddenly a guard jumps up. Buffy swings a backhand punch at his head, but he blocks it and shoves her arm out of the way. He punches her with a backhand fist. She stumbles a little but recovers in time to duck his second swing at her head. She does a side kick to his rear that sends him off of the platform. Two more guards try to climb onto the platform. Buffy crouches and quickly throws her battle-ax spinning end over end at one of them. It slices deeply into his chest, and the power behind her throw sends him falling off of the platform. The other guard tries a wide swing, but Buffy blocks it, grabs onto his arm and sends him somersaulting through the air and off of the platform. Another guard attacks. Buffy smashes her elbow into his nose and follows it up with a full spin and a backhand punch to the head. He falls down awkwardly. Another one leaps up and catches Buffy unaware with a high punch to her face. She stumbles backwards but doesn't fall. Two more guards join him and try to surround her. Buffy snap kicks one in the face and side kicks another. Buffy does a full spinning hook kick to the third, smacking him soundly in the skull.", "Cut to the ledge. Ken is disgusted with what he sees and goes back through the door. Cut below. One of the guards punches Buffy hard in the face, and she staggers. He grabs her by the neck while she's trying to regain her balance and yanks her head up fast and hard. He holds her while two other guards punch her in the stomach.", "Cut to a dimly lit corridor. The group of slaves runs down it, trailed by Lily. They round a corner. As Lily is about to follow them, Ken grabs her from behind, pulls out a large knife and holds it to her neck. She doesn't struggle as he leads her off back to the ledge.", "Cut to the platform. The guards keep on punching Buffy. Finally she is able to retaliate and swings an arm out, backhand punching two of them and high punching the third, knocking him down. She swings her arm out in a wide arc and hits the first two with the one blow, knocking them down as well. A fourth guard roundhouse kicks her in the stomach, and she steps back to regain her balance. He latches onto her arm and tries to throw her, but Buffy reverses the move and manages to throw him off of the platform instead. A guard dives headfirst for Buffy's legs. She leaps up and pulls her legs up into a tuck jump over him. He dives right underneath her. Buffy runs and jumps off of the platform, grabbing a pole. It bends under her weight, and she rides it down to the floor below. She begins to run, and the chase is on again. She doesn't get very far when she looks up and sees Ken coming back out onto the ledge holding his knife to Lily's neck. Buffy stops in her tracks. The guards chasing her quickly catch up and grab her by the arms.", "Ken: One of you fights . . . and you all die! He lets go of Lily and pushes her aside. He stares intently down at Buffy.", "Ken: That . . . was not . . . permitted.", "Buffy: Yeah, but it was fun.", "Ken: (smiles) You've got guts. I think I'd like to slice you open and play with them. He holds up his knife and addresses everyone in the area.", "Ken: Let everyone know! Lily cowers behind him. Ken seems to have forgotten that she's there.", "Ken: *This* is the price of rebellio-- Lily pushes him from behind, and he falls screaming from the high ledge to the floor below. The guards holding Buffy just watch as he hits bottom with a loud thud. Buffy gives Lily a surprised look, and then quickly takes advantage of the distraction and backhand punches her captors, one in the face and the other in the groin. While the second one is dazed, she shoves her weight against him, and he falls backward onto a barrel. The first one punches high, but she blocks, grabs his arm and flips him over onto a pile of burlap sacks. Buffy jumps up onto the pile and steps across her fallen attacker. He tries to grab her, but misses. She jumps high into the air and grabs hold of a heavy chain hanging from above. She climbs it hand-over-hand as quickly as she can to the ledge where Lily is still standing. The two of them run through the door and quickly find their way to the others, struggling with a heavy iron gate.", "Lily: They'll be coming. Buffy crouches down and takes hold of the gate, bracing herself for a very heavy lift. She begins to raise the gate, straining as she goes.", "Buffy: (grunts) Okay . . . this . . . works . . . the abs . . . and . . . the glutes.", "(grunts)", "As soon as she gets it high enough, Lily waves to the others to crawl underneath. They all scramble to the other side.", "Buffy: I'm gonna feel this for a week! She holds the gate up over her head and squeezes her head and shoulders between two of the bars to get to the other side. Suddenly Ken appears behind her, bloodied from his fall, and tackles her to the floor. His club goes flying. The gate falls down behind him. He suddenly arches up and screams in pain. Buffy rolls to a stop out of his reach. She gets to her hands and knees and looks over at him as he continues to scream in pain. The camera pans from his bloody face over his back and to his legs, where two of the gate's bars have impaled themselves through his calves. The slaves help each other up through the black slime of the pool in the ceiling. Buffy gets to her feet and picks up Ken's club. She approaches him, and he arches his back to look up at her.", "Ken: You've *ruined* . . . You . . .", "Buffy: Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi? She wields back the club and brings it down hard onto his head, crushing his skull. Lily comes up behind her and looks at him squeamishly.", "Lily: Gandhi?", "Buffy: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.", "Cut to the pool room at Family Home. The homeless people walk out of the room. Lily is kneeling by the pool helping Buffy out. She yanks her legs from the slime and rolls onto the floor. They both get up and look at the pool.", "Lily: (points) What do we do about-- With a flash of light, the pool mysteriously tiles itself over to match the tiles along the edges. It now appears to be a six-inch (15 cm) deep, empty ceremonial pool. The two girls just stare at it in wonder.", "Cut to Buffy's apartment. Buffy has finished cleaning herself up in the kitchen. Lily is looking at the folding doors that separate the kitchen from the rest of the apartment.", "Buffy: Let me give you the tour. She walks into the main room and slowly turns to face Lily.", "Buffy: This concludes our tour. Lily leans against the wall.", "Lily: It's really nice. Buffy leans against the dresser.", "Buffy: All the rent's paid up for the next three weeks. She turns around and opens one of the dresser drawers.", "Buffy: I spoke to Mitch at the diner. (pulls out her uniform) He said you can start on Thursday. (steps over to the bed) He's, uh . . . (lays down the uniform) he's kind of . . . repulsive, but, uh, he won't give you a hard time. Lily sits down on the bed and puts her hand on the uniform.", "Buffy: Um . . . I'll call and check up on you.", "Lily: I'm not . . . great (looks at Buffy) at taking care of myself.", "Buffy: Gets easier. Takes practice. She looks down sadly. Lily knows the feeling. She looks back down at the uniform and the nametag pinned to it.", "Lily: Hey . . . Buffy looks up at her.", "Lily: Can I be 'Anne'? She smiles at Buffy. Buffy smiles back.", "Cut to the kitchen at the Summers house. Joyce is trying to get a stuck utensil out of the dishwasher. There's a knock at the door, and Joyce looks up startled. She frowns at the fork she pulled out and puts it down. She gets up, grabs a towel and heads for the front door, wiping her hands. In the dining room she pauses and looks toward the door, suddenly wondering who might be there. She drapes the towel over a chair and slowly goes to the door. When she opens it, there stands Buffy, looking sad, tired and disheveled. For a long moment they just look at each other without saying a word. Then they step toward each other and hold each other close for a long, tight embrace." ]

[ "Buffy struggles to fit back into Sunnydale life. She feels her friends and family have grown distant while she was away. Meanwhile, a Nigerian demon mask summons an army of zombies straight to Buffy's house...where everyone is celebrating her arrival." ]

[ "Prologue: Buffy's room. She takes the last of her things out of her bag, walks over to her closet and dumps them in. She turns around and looks at the room that she's missed so much for the last few months. It all seems so familiar, and yet not. Certainly it's too neat and clean. She reaches into her closet for a sweater and heads over to her mother's room.", "Cut to Joyce's room. She's hammering a nail into the wall by the window to hang an ancient tribal mask. Buffy steps into the room.", "Buffy: Mom? Joyce is very startled and jumps, accidentally slamming the hammer through the drywall.", "Joyce: Oh! Buffy. Buffy cringes at the sight of the hole in the wall. Her mother pulls the hammer out and turns to face her, smiling while still holding the hammer in one hand, the mask in the other.", "Joyce: Um . . .", "Buffy: Sorry.", "Joyce: No, no. Don't worry about it. I-I guess I just got used to all the quiet while you were gone. (smiles) But it's no problem. She looks down at the mask in her hand, and turns around to hang it on the wall over the hole. It's carved from a reddish wood with cutouts for eyes, which are slanted inward to appear very evil. There are a series of long, pointed teeth with extra long fangs for incisors set into the upper lip. There is no lower jaw portion.", "Joyce: Uh, look! (hangs the mask on its hook) It's, uh, Nigerian. (faces Buffy again) We got a very exciting shipment in at the Gallery. (glances around the room) I, um, thought I'd hang a few pieces in here. It cheers up the room.", "Buffy: (looking at the mask) It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer.", "Joyce: (nods) You have no appreciation of primitive art. (sees that Buffy is holding a sweater) You going out?", "Buffy: (looks down at the sweater) Oh. Um . . . well, i-if it's okay. I, um . . . I'd like to find Willow and Xander.", "Joyce: Will you be slaying?", "Buffy: Only if they give me lip. (smiles weakly)", "Joyce: Uh, can I make you a sandwich or something before you go? You must be starving.", "Buffy: I was un-until that four-course snack you served me after dinner.", "Joyce: Well, then, um . . . (goes to her dresser) You know, w-why don't I drive you? (grabs her keys) Uh, I mean, they could be anywhere.", "Buffy: Mom . . . if you don't want me to go, just say so.", "Joyce: No, no. (looks down at her keys briefly) I-I just want to put this whole thing behind us, get back to normal. (inhales deeply) You go. Have a good time.", "Buffy: Okay. She smiles and gives her mom a nervous little wave, then leaves the room.", "Cut to an alley. A truck drives by. Behind it Buffy walks along, looking around. She hears something fall to the ground and break, and stops to look in the direction of the sound. Slowly she starts to walk in that direction.", "Cut to an intersection in the alley. Buffy comes around the corner and looks down the adjoining way. There she sees a man dressed in black, walking suspiciously, as though looking for something. She begins to follow silently, but doesn't notice an empty aluminum can on the pavement, and steps on it. The man reacts instantly to the noise, spins around and swings at her with a stake. Buffy throws up her arms and cross blocks the swing, then deftly takes the stake from the man's hands and raises it to counter attack. He steps back, and the white cross hanging from his neck swings around, standing out in marked contrast to the rest of his attire. Buffy sees that it's Xander, and stays her attack. Xander is taken completely by surprise and just stares back at her.", "Buffy: (lowers the stake) Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? (shakes it at him) It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.", "Xander: You shouldn't sneak up on people like that! He breathes hard, trying to catch his breath. He looks at her, trying to convince himself that it's really her, and finally manages a weak smile.", "Xander: Jeez, Buff! Suddenly a vampire smashes his way out of a crate leaning against a wall. He lunges at Xander and Buffy, knocking them and himself to the pavement. Xander quickly tries to grab the vampire as he gets up, but the demon grabs Xander instead and pulls him up. He draws his fist back for a punch, but Buffy jumps in and hits the vampire in the stomach with a powerful side kick, making him fall backwards into a pile of trashcans and bags. Cordelia's voice comes over the walkie-talkie at Xander's belt.", "Cordelia: Come in, Nighthawk! Everything okay?", "Buffy: (taken aback) Nighthawk? The vampire is back on his feet and comes at them.", "Buffy: Ooh! He tackles Xander and sends him reeling backwards into a chain link fence. Buffy tries to stake him, but he sidesteps her and shoves her into the fence as well. Xander tries to come up behind him, but the vampire swings out with a backhand fist to Xander's face, knocking him to the ground. Buffy gets to her feet and sweep blocks two punches from the demon. She high clocks his third punch and gets a hand under his chin to hold him at bay. He pushes her back into the fence as the two struggle for control. Now Willow, Cordelia and Oz come running. The two girls grab the vampire by the arms and drag him off of Buffy and across the alley, slamming him hard into a steel roll-up door. Buffy catches her breath as she looks on in astonishment. The vampire growls at the girls as Oz tries to move in with a stake, but the vamp roundhouse kicks Oz, sending him to the pavement next to Xander. He then shoves Cordelia away, and Buffy quickly moves to catch her so she won't get hurt. The vampire then throws Willow aside, and she falls onto Xander and Oz.", "Cordelia: (recognizes) Oh, hey, Buffy. Buffy pushes her aside and wields back her stake when she sees the vampire come after them. Cordelia loses her balance and falls to the pavement next to Willow. Buffy plunges her stake cleanly into the vampire, and he bursts into ashes. As the dust settles down, she looks over at her friends staring up at her from the ground. They are all breathing hard. Buffy gives them a little wave and a weak smile.", "Buffy: Hey, guys. They just keep staring back. Xander lets his head drop back to the pavement. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' apartment building. C ut to outside his door. The kids are all standing there.", "Buffy: You know, I--maybe it's too late. Maybe we should just come back tomorrow. No one makes a move to go. Buffy looks at the door, then back at the others.", "Buffy: What if he's mad?", "Xander: Mad? Just because you ran away and abandoned your post and your friends and your mom and made him lay awake every night worrying about you? (to Oz and Willow) Maybe we should wait out here. Buffy gives him a look. She turns around to face the door, reaches for the knocker and taps it a few times. Cut inside. Giles opens the door and sees Buffy standing there flanked by the others. His face remains expressionless for a long moment.", "Xander: (to Giles) Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. (Giles slips on his glasses) And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a . . . a looker or a . . . a seer.", "Giles: Thank you, Xander. He looks at his Slayer.", "Giles: Welcome home, Buffy. Buffy smiles up at him. He pulls the door open further and steps back so they can all come in.", "Cut to Giles' living room. Oz, Willow, Buffy and Xander are all on he couch. Cordelia is sitting in a facing chair. Giles is leaning on the backrest of another chair.", "Buffy: I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see my mom first.", "Giles: Yes. Yes, of course. How, how did you find her?", "Buffy: Well, I pretty much remembered the address.", "Giles: Ah, eh, I mean, uh . . . The teakettle in his kitchen begins to whistle.", "Giles: How are things between you? (notices the whistling) Ah. Excuse me. (goes into the kitchen)", "Oz: Hey, so you're not wanted for murder anymore.", "Buffy: Good. That was such a drag.", "Xander: So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?", "Buffy: (gives him an odd look) Why would I go to Belgium?", "Xander: I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you? (smiles hugely and giggles) Belgium! They both laugh. Cut into the kitchen. Giles gets the cups out of his cupboard. He smiles as he listens to the conversation in the living room, pleased that they are getting along so well again so quickly.", "Buffy: What about you, Xander? What's up with you?", "Xander: Oh, you know, same old, same old. Giles removes his glasses and leans with his arm against the cupboard, enjoying the sound of his Slayer's voice again after so many months.", "Cordelia: Hardly.", "Xander: Okay, I lied, a whole lot is new.", "Buffy: Well, that's good, isn't it? New is good. Giles shakes himself out of his reverie and puts his glasses back on.", "Xander: Oh, yeah, absolutely, except for the obvious. It's not too much . . . (inaudible)", "Cordelia: Yeah, 'cause you weren't at the hotel. Giles lifts up the serving tray and takes it into the living room.", "Xander: Cordelia's parents dragged her onto a luxury vacation.", "Buffy: I feel for you.", "Giles: Here we are then. (sets the tray on the coffee table) Cheer us up. He sits down in his chair and takes the teapot. Buffy and Xander each take a cookie from the tray.", "Cordelia: So were you, like, living in a box, or what?", "Buffy: Well, it's a long story.", "Xander: So skip the heartwarming stuff about kindly old people and saving the farm and get right to the dirt.", "Giles: (pours several cups) Perhaps Buffy could use a little time to adjust before we grill her on her summer activities.", "Buffy: What he said.", "Xander: Fair enough. In fact, you can leave the slaying to us while you settle in. We got you covered.", "Buffy: I noticed. You guys seem down with the slayage, all tricked out with your walkies and everything.", "Cordelia: Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty, like Hilfiger maybe.", "Willow: Still, we were getting good. We dusted (nods) nine out of ten.", "Oz: (whispers to Willow) Six out of ten.", "Willow: Six out of ten.", "Xander: Whatever, we were kicking a little undead booty.", "Buffy: Well, thank you for the offer, but I think I just wanna get back to my normal routine. You know, school, slaying . . . kid's stuff. In fact, I'm jonesing for a little brainless fun. (to Xander) What are you doing tomorrow?", "Xander: Oh, I would, but, uh, (reaches his hands around Cordelia's arm) I'm kind of tied up. (smiles)", "Cordelia: You wish. (pushes him away) Xander sits back into the couch, embarrassed.", "Buffy: (to Willow) Will?", "Willow: Um, tomorrow I--", "Buffy: Oh, come on. Friends don't let friends browse alone.", "Willow: Okay. I had some schoolwork, but . . . I can change my plans.", "Giles: (raises his cup) As for school, Buffy, uh, you know you'll have to talk to Principal Snyder before--", "Buffy: On it. Mom is making an appointment with His Ugliness. I know she can break him. Giles looks up from his tea and gives her an unsure little grin.", "Cut to Principal Snyder's office at Sunnydale High. Snyder looks at Joyce and Buffy intently from behind his desk.", "Snyder: Absolutely not. Under no circumstances.", "Joyce: But you can't keep her out of school. You don't have the right.", "Snyder: I have not only the right, but also a nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I'd describe myself as tingly.", "Joyce: Buffy was cleared of all those charges.", "Snyder: Yes. And while she may live up to the not-a-murderer requirement for enrollment, she is a troublemaker, destructive to school property and the occasional student. And her grade point average is enough to . . . (his eyes glaze over for an instant) I'm sorry. Another tingle moment. (smiles smugly)", "Joyce: (with controlled anger in her voice) I don't see how you can be so cavalier about a young girl's entire future!", "Snyder: I'm quite sure that a girl with the talents and abilities of Buffy will land on her feet. In fact, (leans toward Buffy) I noticed as I came in this morning that Hot Dog on a Stick is hiring. (Buffy gives him an angry stare) You will look so cute in that hat.", "Buffy: Let's go, Mom. She gets up and walks toward the door. Her mother stands up and faces Snyder.", "Joyce: This isn't over. If I have to, I'll go all the way to the Mayor.", "(follows Buffy out)", "Snyder: Wouldn't that be interesting.", "Cut to Sunnydale's shopping district across the street from the Espresso", "Pump. Buffy and Joyce pull up to the curb in their Jeep.", "Joyce: Don't worry about school, honey. If we can't get you back into Sunnydale, maybe we can swing private school.", "Buffy: Private school? You mean, like jackets and kilts? You want me to get field hockey knees?", "Joyce: (smiles) It's not that bad.", "Buffy: What about home schooling? You know, it's not just for scary religious people anymore.", "Joyce: We'll work something out. Okay? They lean toward each other and kiss goodbye.", "Joyce: Say hi to Willow? Buffy nods as she releases her seatbelt and gets out of the car.", "Cut to later, still in front of the cafe'. Buffy is standing and waiting for Willow. She checks her watch, and then lets her arms droop, disappointed. She walks over to a bench and sits down to watch and wait for her friend. She watches all the people going by. Her expression starts to get sad and a little bit annoyed as she checks her watch again.", "Cut to Buffy's house, much later. She walks up the path toward the house. The front door opens, and Buffy sees a woman come out and pull the door closed behind her. She looks at her, confused. The woman sees her and smiles.", "Pat: Oh, my word! Oh, you must be Buffy! (steps down from the porch) Look at you. Aren't you a picture?", "Buffy: (unsure) Thank you.", "Pat: Oh, I'm Pat, (offers her hand) from your mom's book club. (they shake hands) I'm sure she mentioned me.", "Buffy: Actually--", "Pat: I, um, I sort of took it upon myself to look after her while you were, (rolls her eyes) you know, off and away or what have you, and . . . Buffy looks aside, not believing this conversation.", "Pat: (inhales) Well, between, uh, (exhales) your situation and reading 'Deep End of the Ocean', she was, uh, she was just a wreck. You can imagine. Buffy gives her a thin smile and a weak nod.", "Pat: Anyway, I'm off. We're-we're making empanadas in my Spanish class tonight. (giggles) You go be with your mom. You two need to rebond. She smiles and goes on her way. Cut inside to the kitchen. Buffy comes in and sets her purse on the island. Joyce is taking some notes from a book.", "Buffy: Pat wishes us quality time. (goes to the cupboard)", "Joyce: Oh. I met her in a--", "Buffy: Book club. (gets out a glass)", "Joyce: Yeah.", "Buffy: Got it.", "Joyce: (looks up) Oh, uh, before I forget, uh, Willow just called.", "Buffy: (suddenly attentive) Where was she?", "Joyce: Uh, she, she got held up, but she said she tried to call.", "Buffy: (confused) Was there a message? She steps over to the fridge and gets out a pitcher.", "Joyce: No. But I had a thought. What if I invited Willow and Mr. Giles and everybody over for dinner tomorrow night? (smiles) Don't you think that would be nice? Buffy just opens the pitcher and pours herself a drink.", "Joyce: Since I sort of already did, I was hoping for a yes. Buffy looks up at her mom and gives her a little smile and a nod.", "Buffy: It'll be fun. (loses her smile)", "Joyce: Great. Uh, do me a favor? Run down and get the company plates.", "Buffy: Mom, Willow and everybody aren't company-plate people. They're normal-plate people.", "Joyce: We never have guests for dinner. Indulge your mother? Buffy just sighs and heads for the basement door.", "Cut to the basement. Buffy grabs a stepstool and sets it down in front of an old bookcase full of stuff. She steps up on it and notices a picture on an upper shelf. She pulls it out into the light. It's a photo of her with Willow and Xander. They are on a lawn, and she is sitting with Willow behind her and Xander laying his head on her legs with his eyes turned up at her. She looks at it for a long moment, remembering the time it was taken. She then puts it back and looks up where the good china is. She reaches for the box and starts to pull it down, when a dead and rotting cat suddenly falls off of it.", "Buffy: Oh! She jerks her head forward, and the cat falls behind her to the floor. She looks down at it squeamishly.", "Buffy: Eww.", "Cut to the backyard. Buffy grunts as she shovels out a bunch of dirt among some bushes to make a shallow grave for the cat.", "Buffy: Next time, I get to pick the mother-daughter bonding activity. Joyce lifts a bag with the cat over the hole and drops it in.", "Joyce: Do you wanna say something?", "Buffy: Like what? Thanks for stopping by and dying?", "Joyce: How about, um . . . good-bye, stray cat, who lost its way. We hope you find it. Buffy accepts that and turns back to the hole to fill it back in.", "Cut to Buffy's room at 11:34 that night. She reaches over to the lamp on her nightstand and turns it off. She lies back in her bed and hugs the covers to herself. She looks around in the dark, lonely room and waits to fall asleep.", "Cut to Joyce's room. She is sound asleep in her bed. The camera pans up from her and over to the Nigerian mask on the wall. Its eyes begin to glow a deep red.", "Cut to the bushes in the backyard. The dirt covering the dead cat begins to move. A moment later the cat pokes its head through the soil, meows menacingly and claws its way out. Once out, it continues hissing and growling as it walks off. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High. Buffy walks into the hall from outside. The door closes behind her with an echoing clang, startling her. She looks back at it, but then continues walking. The school is deserted. She walks past the empty lounge toward the library. The doors are wide open, and she looks in for a moment. It's just as deserted as the rest of the school. Cut outside. The sun shines brightly down on the quad. Buffy slowly walks down the outside stairs, all the while looking around for any indication that anyone else is there. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs she turns out into the quad. She stops when she sees Angel coming toward her, but then keeps walking as he gets behind her and follows her across the quad.", "Buffy: I thought they'd be here.", "Angel: They are. They're waiting for you.", "Buffy: (looks at him) Am I dreaming?", "Angel: (smiles and chuckles) I'm probably the wrong person to ask. (Buffy looks ahead again) You'd better go.", "Buffy: (looks at him) I'm afraid.", "Angel: (shrugs and looks at her) You should be. He stops walking and watches her go. The school bell rings.", "Cut to Buffy's room. The school bell blends into the sound of her alarm buzzer going off. Buffy wakes from her dream. She turns over and looks at her alarm clock. 7:00am. She reaches over and turns it off.", "Cut to the kitchen. Buffy stares into the refrigerator while she listens to her mother talking.", "Joyce: I've been on the phone with the, uh, Superintendent of Schools. At least he seems more reasonable than that nasty little horrid, bigoted, rodent-man.", "Buffy: Mom . . .", "Joyce: Anyway, um, I'm going in to speak with him this afternoon. Uh, as for private schools, uh, Miss Porter's accepts late admissions. Buffy closes the fridge and turns to give her mom a look.", "Joyce: I, uh, I wrote the information down for you.", "Buffy: A girls' school? (goes to the island to read the slip of paper) So now it's jackets, kilts, and no boys? (looks back at her mom) Care to throw in a little foot-binding? Joyce sets down her coffee mug and steps over to her daughter.", "Joyce: Buffy, you made some bad choices. You just might have to live with some consequences. Buffy looks down at the island, knowing that her mom is right.", "Joyce: Nothing's settled yet. (looks for something to do and spies the trash) I just wish you didn't have to be so secretive about things. (ties off the trashbag) I mean, it's not your fault you have a special circumstance. They should make allowances for you.", "Buffy: Mom, I'm a slayer. It's not like I need to ride a little bus to school.", "Joyce: (walks to the door with the trash) Couldn't you just tell a few people, like Principal Snyder . . . and maybe the police? Buffy looks at her like she's got to be kidding.", "Joyce: I mean, I would think they would be happy to have a . . . a superhero. Buffy can't believe her ears.", "Joyce: Is that the right term? I mean, it's not offensive, is it? She opens the door to take out the trash, and gasps in fright when she sees the dead cat run in. It stops and meows at them menacingly.", "Cut to later at the front door. Buffy opens it to admit Giles holding a cage.", "Buffy: Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo. She indicates upstairs. Giles looks up and starts to climb the stairs while Buffy closes the door behind him. She follows him up.", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. The cat is hiding under the bed. Giles grabs it by the back of its neck and pulls it out.", "Giles: Oh, my God, what a stench! He takes the cat over to the cage, puts it in and closes the latch.", "Buffy: You know, I wanted Forest Pine or April Fresh, but Mom wanted Dead Cat. Joyce looks at the cat, grossed out by its appearance and smell.", "Giles: I'll, uh . . . He steps back for a moment, overcome by the stench.", "Giles: Ugh! I'll get it back to the library, see if we can determine its exact origins. He lifts the cage and turns to face Joyce. She looks at it, then up at Giles. He notices the mask on the wall behind her.", "Giles: It's, uh . . . striking and . . . Nigerian.", "Joyce: Oh. Yes. I-I-I have this wonderful dealer who specializes in ancient artifacts, I don't know if you--", "Buffy: (interrupts) You know, I love art talk as much as the next very dull person, but we have work to do, Giles. Research mode. (heads for the door)", "Giles: Sh-sh-shouldn't you stay with your mother, perhaps, Buffy? I mean, you must have--", "Joyce: Please, no. I, it's fine. She can go with you.", "Giles: A-actually, she can't. Um . . . (to Buffy) you're not allowed on school property.", "Buffy: Oh. (smiles ironically)", "Giles: I'm sorry. Um, uh . . . I'll, I'll call as, as soon as I know something. He reaches for the doorknob. The cat growls and hisses.", "Joyce: Oh, we'll see you tonight?", "Giles: Tonight, then. Yes. He opens the door and leaves.", "Cut to the library. The caged cat is on the table. Oz is inspecting it closely, apparently not bothered by its stench. Willow is engrossed in research. Cordelia keeps her distance while Xander shares Oz's fascination, but from a bit further off.", "Oz: It looks dead. It smells dead. (Xander nods in agreement) Yet it's movin' around. That's interesting.", "Cordelia: Nice pet, Giles. Don't you like anything regular? Golf, USA Today, or anything? (sits opposite Willow to help research)", "Giles: (comes down from the stacks) I'm trying to find out how and why it rose from the grave. It's not as if I'm going to take it home and offer it a saucer of warm milk.", "Oz: Well, I like it. I think you should call it Patches.", "Willow: What about Buffy's welcome home dinner tonight? I had told her mom we'd help out. Bring stuff.", "Cordelia: I'm the dip. Everyone looks at her. She doesn't notice and continues reading.", "Xander: Uh, you gotta admire the purity of it. (chuckles)", "Cordelia: (looks up at everyone) What? Onion dip. Stirring, *not* cooking. It's what I bring.", "Oz: (leans back in his chair) We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?", "Cordelia: What's the difference?", "Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, (nods to Cordelia) dip, (Cordelia smiles) less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.", "Xander: Well, I hate brie.", "Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles's cat.", "Giles: It's not my--", "Xander: (interrupts) And what'll we talk about at a gathering anyway? 'So, Buffy, did you meet any nice pimps on your travels? And oh, by the by, thanks for ruining our lives for the past three months.'", "Willow: Xander . . .", "Xander: You know what I mean. She doesn't want to talk about it, we don't want to talk about it, so why don't we just shut up and dance?", "Willow: Well, Buffy said she did want to loosen up, you know, have some kid time. (to Oz) Aren't you guys rehearsing tonight? Why don't you play at the party?", "Oz: Yeah, I think I could supply some Dingo action.", "Giles: Uh, I-I'm not sure that, a, a, um . . . shindig . . .", "Oz: Hootenanny.", "Giles: H-hootenanny i-i-is really the order of the day. Uh, uh, it should . . . maybe something a little more intimate. I-I-I mean, Buffy has just got home. I'm, I'm sure she's still feeling a little disoriented.", "Willow: All the more reason to make her feel welcome, a-and a big party says, 'Welcome, Buffy.' Xander slaps Giles on the back. Giles turns to give him a look.", "Xander: Okay, so one vote from the Old Guy for a Smelly Cheese Night, and how many votes for actual fun, huh? Everyone but Giles raises their hand and smiles.", "Giles: Alright, alright. Have it your way. I'm just glad to have her home. The cat meows again. Giles continues to page through a book.", "Giles: Now things can get back to normal. He flips a page, but looks over at the cat instead. On the page is a drawing of Joyce's mask. He flips another page before turning his attention back to it.", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut inside to the dining room. The table is beautifully set with Joyce's best china, crystal and silverware. Buffy is dressed up for the occasion. She is putting the last setting into place when the doorbell rings. She looks over the table one last time and then goes to open the door. Through the window she sees Pat waiting there, holding a large plastic food container. Buffy opens the door.", "Pat: Hey, there you are! (comes in) Not thinking about any more flights of fancy, I hope. Buffy can't believe her comments, and just closes the door.", "Pat: Joyce said there was room for one more, so I said forget facial night and let's party! (smiles) I bet you like empanadas. She holds out the container to Buffy, who takes it and gives her a fake smile.", "Buffy: Do you want to see my mom?", "Pat: Please.", "Buffy: (whining loudly and frantically) MOM! Pat looks up the stairs and sees Joyce appear at the top.", "Joyce: Oh, Pat! Good. Buffy, I hope you don't mind. The two women embrace.", "Pat: Hi! You look great! The doorbell rings again, and taking the empanadas under one arm, Buffy turns around to answer it. It's Devon with the band.", "Devon: Hey, Buffy. So where do you want the band to set up? He walks into the living room and looks around for a good spot.", "Buffy: Wh-the band? Two girls follow him in carrying parts of the drum set.", "Cut to later. Lots of people are there, and the party is in full swing. Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) are set up in the corner of the living room and are playing \"Never Mind.\" The camera pans from the drummer past Oz on his guitar and Devon at his mic into the crowd. Half of Sunnydale High must be in attendance, the place is so densely packed with people. The camera settles on Willow leaning against a table and smiling at Oz while moving to the beat of the music. The camera turns back into the crowd and follows a party guest until she passes Buffy. Buffy looks around at all of the people, not sure who half of them are, trying to find Willow. She spots her, and walks up to her.", "Buffy: Hey!", "Willow: (smiling) Hey! (listens to the band)", "Lyrics: You can send me a savior", "Buffy: This is large!", "Willow: (looks at Buffy) You like?", "Lyrics: That lives till the end of time", "Buffy: Yeah. It's great. (looks back at the band) I-I was just sort of hoping it would be . . . us.", "Lyrics: Time", "Willow: Sorry. What? (indicates that it's too loud to hear)", "Lyrics: The promise of heaven", "Buffy: (louder) This is amazing, but I was sort of hoping we could just hang together, the gang.", "Lyrics: But that only leaves me dry Willow indicates to the band and makes like she totally can't hear Buffy. She turns her attention back to Oz and smiles at him.", "Lyrics: Dry Buffy senses that Willow is more into watching Oz play with the band than anything else at the moment, and decides to leave her alone.", "Lyrics: Too many saviors / And I won't die After walking a ways back into the crowd, Buffy changes her mind, deciding that she wants to talk to Willow now.", "Lyrics: I never cried, but I needed more from you She touches Willow on the arm and indicates they should go someplace to talk. Willow lets Buffy lead her away through the crowd.", "Lyrics: I found my life without you now Buffy finds a relatively quiet spot in the dining room where they can talk.", "Lyrics: And I never mind / I'm only half as blind", "Buffy: Is everything okay?", "Lyrics: Cause I needed more from you", "Buffy: You . . . You seem to be avoiding me, i-in the one-on-one sense.", "Willow: (looks surprised) What?", "Lyrics: And I never mind", "Willow: This isn't avoiding. See? Here you are, here I am.", "Lyrics: I'm only half as blind", "Buffy: So we're cool?", "Lyrics: Cause I needed more from you", "Willow: Way! That's why, with the party, 'cause we're all glad you're back. She isn't being very convincing, but Buffy decides to accept it for now.", "Buffy: Okay.", "Willow: Okay. Good. She goes back to watch the band again. Buffy isn't at all convinced that everything's good.", "Lyrics: You say my reflection never fades from your eyes", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. The mask's eyes begin to glow a deep red again.", "Cut to an accident scene. A Sunnydale Police car, red and blue lights flashing, is parked next to the body of a victim. One officer walks past it while another interviews witnesses. The camera pans down to the dead man lying in the street. The Emergency Medical Technician tending to him gets up and goes to get a gurney. The camera stops on the man's face. His forehead is severely lacerated. Suddenly his eyes open. The one under the wound is red with blood. The man immediately sits up. Cut back to Buffy's party. The Dingoes are playing their next song, \"Sway\".", "Lyrics: I got another rope over me / But I won't hang / I can feel you covet my faith", "Cut to Xander and Cordelia sucking some serious face by the stairs.", "Lyrics: I said another lie / I know why / I don't wanna sway Buffy comes walking out of the crowd and sees them. She tries to walk by without being noticed, but Xander sees her. Cordelia doesn't stop kissing him on the face and neck while he talks to Buffy.", "Xander: Hey, Buff, uh . . . what are you doing?", "Buffy: I was just taking a break from all this wacky fun.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna sway", "Xander: Some kind of party, huh? I guess a lot of people are glad to have you back.", "Buffy: It seems like people I didn't even know missed me. She looks around at the crowd.", "Buffy: Did Giles say he was going to be late?", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds / Or never live again", "Xander: Uh, he was Library Man last time I saw him. But he'll be here. He wants to celebrate your homecoming. We all do. I mean, it's great to have the Buffster back. (smiles)", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds", "Xander: (tries to get Cordelia's attention) Isn't it?", "Cordelia: (smiles) Totally! (nods)", "Lyrics: Or never live again", "Cordelia: (to Xander) Except you were kinda turning me on with that whole Boy Slayer look.", "Xander: Was I now?", "Cordelia: You bet, Nighthawk. They smile and giggle at each other, and resume their kissing. Buffy definitely feels like the odd person out.", "Buffy: Well, I'll just be, uh . . . (gives up) oh, yeah. (leaves)", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. The mask's eyes continue to glow red.", "Cut to Sunnydale General Hospital. A trauma team is trying to revive a burn victim. A nurse holds a pair of defibrillation pads ready while the doctor pumps his chest and another nurse bags him.", "Doctor: Breathe. Breathe. The man is flat-lining. The heart monitor beeps insistently while the cursor just moves flatly across the screen.", "Doctor: Alright, look. These burns are too extensive. It's 7:43. Let's call it. He walks off. The one nurse puts away the bag while the other puts away the defib pads. The camera pans in to the dead man. He has severe second- and third-degree burns all along the right side of his face and body. His eyes suddenly pop open. He sits up on the bed, leaving a puddle of blood on the pillow.", "Nurse: Oh, my God! The reflection on the heart monitor screen shows him violently hitting people out of his way as he goes.", "Cut to the party. Buffy is at the snack table gathering up empty cups.", "Lyrics: You know I roll it over in my head A guy reaches in front of her and grabs a handful of party mix, leans his head back and dumps it into his mouth. Most of it spills to the sides and onto the floor.", "Lyrics: I won't feel you covet my faith Buffy just gives a shrug, grabs a few more cups and turns to go throw them out. She passes two guys talking and overhears their conversation.", "Party dude: Hey, what's the deal with this party anyway?", "Lyrics: You've said another lie / I know why", "Stoner: This party? Heard it was for some chick that just got out of rehab. (takes a drag from his joint)", "Lyrics: I don't wanna sway Buffy stares at them, less than happy about that rumor, but she ignores them and continues on toward the kitchen.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna sway", "Cut to the kitchen. Joyce and Pat are having a little fiesta of their own, and pour some schnapps into two glasses. They raise their glasses, clink them together and each take a good sip.", "Joyce: Whew! Pat smiles and nods at Joyce.", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds", "Pat: Now, how you holding up, Joyce, hmm? Really.", "Lyrics: Or never live again", "Joyce: Really? I'm . . . I don't know.", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds", "Joyce: While Buffy was gone, all I could think about was getting her home.", "Lyrics: Or never live again", "Joyce: I just knew that if I could put my arms around her and tell her how much I loved her, everything would be okay.", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds", "Pat: But?", "Lyrics: Or never live again Buffy reaches the kitchen and overhears.", "Joyce: Having Buffy home, I-I thought it was gonna make it all better, but in some ways, it's almost worse.", "Lyrics: Seize these worlds / Or never live again Buffy takes it hard, and goes back to the stairs.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She comes in and swings the door partially closed behind her. She looks at her bed sadly and sniffles. She bends down to pull her bag out from underneath, slams it onto the mattress and opens it up. She goes to her closet, gets out a pile of folded clothes, goes back to her bed and stuffs them into the bag.", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. The mask's eyes are still glowing. Cut outside. The camera pulls away from the house. Cut to the park. Several zombies are making their way through it toward the house.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. The cat meows acridly in its cage. Giles is looking through his books yet again. This time he finds what he needs and quickly reads.", "Giles: Oh, Lord! He goes into his office and sets the book down on his desk. He turns the page and this time sees the picture of the mask that he'd missed before. He grabs the phone and quickly dials Buffy's number. He impatiently listens to it ringing.", "Cut to Buffy's house. The Dingoes are into their next song, \"Pain\". The camera pans across the party guests. The phone can barely be heard ringing above the noise. The camera focuses on it. No one thinks to pick up.", "Cut to the library. Giles waits anxiously for an answer.", "Cut to the party. The weed smoker picks up the phone and holds it tightly to his ear, plugging his free ear with a finger.", "Stoner: Party Villa, can I rock you?", "Giles: (cut to him) I-I-I need to speak with Buffy. Um, immediately! I have some information that is extremely important.", "Lyrics: Feeling I've been lost for years", "Cut to the party. Someone breaks a glass, and the Stoner looks across the room.", "Lyrics: You can never understand me", "Stoner: Yeah! Fiesta foul! You gotta do a shot!", "Lyrics: Unless you've seen those tears", "Giles: (cut to him) I need to speak to Buffy! Now!", "Stoner: (cut to him) Bunny?", "Lyrics: But you never get to sleep", "Stoner: (to his friend, pointing) See? That guy's gotta do a shot.", "Lyrics: When I'm away", "Giles: Buffy!", "Stoner: (holds the phone out to the crowd) Hey! I need to talk to a Buddy!", "Lyrics: I don't mind", "Stoner: (to the room) Is there a Buddy here?", "Lyrics: The deeper that you lay", "Stoner: (into the phone) Sorry. He's not here. You got the wrong casa, Mr. Belvedere. (hangs up)", "Lyrics: Out of time / Pain, I can't sleep", "Giles: (cut to him) H-hello? Hello? He slams the phone down and quickly gathers up his things. The cat snarls and hisses.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's at her closet getting more things. She goes back to her bed. While she stuffs her things into her bag, Willow shows up at her door and sees her packing.", "Willow: You're leaving again? Buffy gives her a quick glance and goes back to packing.", "Willow: (upset) What, you just stopped by for your lint brush and now you're ready to go?", "Buffy: It's not like anyone will mind.", "Willow: (heavy with sarcasm) Oh, no. Have a great time. Oh, oh, and don't forget to *not* write.", "Buffy: (faces Willow, sobbing) Why are you attacking me? I'm trying.", "Willow: Wow, and it looks so much like giving up!", "Buffy: I'm just trying to make things easier.", "Willow: For who?", "Buffy: You guys were doing just fine without me.", "Willow: We were doing the best we could! It's not like we had a lot of choice in the matter.", "Buffy: Sorry that I had to leave, but you don't know what I was going through.", "Willow: Well, I'd like to.", "Buffy: You wouldn't understand.", "Willow: (considers) Well, maybe I don't need to understand. Maybe I . . . I just need you to talk to me.", "Buffy: How could I talk to you when you were avoiding me?", "Willow: This isn't easy, Buffy! I know you're going through stuff, but . . . so am I.", "Buffy: I know that you were worried about me, but--", "Willow: No! I don't just mean that. I mean, my life! You know? I, um . . . I'm having all sorts of--I'm dating, I'm having serious dating with a *werewolf*, a-and I'm studying witchcraft and killing vampires, and I didn't have anyone (starts sobbing) to talk to about all this scary life stuff. And you were my best friend.", "Cut to Giles speeding along to Buffy's house as best he can in his decrepit car. He looks left and right in anger and fear.", "Giles: Unbelievable. (mocks Joyce) 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the *dead*!' Americans. He looks ahead in time to see that he's about to hit someone.", "Giles: Jesus! He slams on the brakes and begins to skid. He hits the man, who falls onto the hood of the car, bounces off of the windshield and slides off as the car comes to a stop. The man rolls a few times on the pavement before coming to rest. Giles stares in shock at the man lying in the road.", "Giles: My God. He quickly gets out of his car.", "Giles: Are you alright? He rushes over to the man and feels for a pulse on his neck.", "Giles: Are you hurt? The man rolls over, and Giles sees that he's in an advanced state of decay.", "Giles: Good God. The zombie grabs Giles by the coat and lifts him up as it gets to its feet. Other zombies start approaching from an alley.", "Cut to Buffy's room.", "Buffy: You have no idea how much I missed you. Everyone. I wanted to call every day.", "Willow: That doesn't matter, Buffy. It doesn't make it okay that you didn't. Joyce walks by the room and sees the bag on Buffy's bed.", "Joyce: What is this? Is this some sort of a joke?", "Buffy: Mom, please, could you, could you just--", "Joyce: (interrupts) No, I can't just! Buffy, what is this?", "Willow: She was running away again.", "Buffy: No, I wasn't. (pauses, very confused) I'm not sure.", "Joyce: Well, you better *get* sure and explain yourself right away! If you think you can just-just take off any time you feel like it--", "Buffy: Stop it! Please! I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. She rushes from her room and heads downstairs. Joyce and Willow follow right on her heels. Cut to below. Buffy comes rushing down the stairs with her mother and best friend right behind. She stops at the front door, and turns into the living room when she finds Xander and Cordelia locked in a passionate embrace, blocking her way out.", "Joyce: Don't you leave this house, young lady! Buffy doesn't stop her determined walk.", "Joyce: You know what? That's it. She runs up behind Buffy, grabs her arm and turns her around to face her.", "Joyce: You and I are going to have a talk. The band stops playing and most of the people stop talking. Suddenly the level of noise in the room is reduced to just a few voices. Buffy looks around at everyone staring at them.", "Buffy: (implores) Mom, please-- Xander and Cordelia come into the living room.", "Joyce: (interrupts, mad) You know what? I don't care. I don't care what your friends think of me, or you for that matter, because you put me through the wringer, Buffy. (inhales) I mean it. (exhales and inhales) And I've had schnapps. (exhales) Do you have *any* idea what it's been like?", "Buffy: Mom, this isn't the time-- Willow looks around, worried. Oz comes up next to her.", "Joyce: (interrupts again) You can't imagine *months* of not knowing. Not knowing whether you're lying dead in a ditch somewhere or, I don't know, living it up--", "Buffy: (interrupts in turn) But you told me! You're the one who said I should go. You said if I leave this house, don't come back. You found out who I really was, and you couldn't deal. Don't you remember? People are beginning to think this is a drag and leave.", "Joyce: Buffy, you didn't give me time. You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it. Well, guess what? Mom's not perfect, okay? I handled it badly. But that doesn't give you the right to punish me by running away.", "Buffy: Punish you? I didn't do this to punish you!", "Xander: Well, you did. You should've seen what you put her through.", "Buffy: Great. Thanks. Anybody else want to weigh in here? (sees Jonathon) How about you by the dip? Jonathon freezes in the middle of bringing a chip laden with dip to his mouth and looks around nervously at everyone suddenly staring at him.", "Jonathon: No, thanks. I'm good.", "Xander: You know, maybe you don't want to hear it, Buffy, but taking off like you did was incredibly selfish and stupid.", "Buffy: Okay! Okay. I screwed up. I know this. But you have no idea! You have, you have no idea what happened to me or what I was feeling!", "Xander: Did you even try talking to anybody?", "Buffy: There was nothing that anybody could do. Okay? I just had to deal with this on my own.", "Xander: Yeah, and you see how well *that* one worked out. You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll come right back up to get you.", "Cut to the street. The zombie has Giles bent back on the hood of his car. Giles gets his foot underneath him and push kicks him off. He rolls off of the hood and scrambles back into the car, locking the door. The zombies start pounding on the car. Giles reaches for the ignition and discovers the keys missing. He searches his pockets. Nothing. He looks out onto the street, and there they are.", "Giles: Oh, good show, Giles. He thinks for a moment what to do, then reaches underneath the dash and pulls out some wires. Quickly he unravels and strips the appropriate ones. A zombie punches through the window and reaches in for him. Giles touches the wires together. They spark, and the engine starts up.", "Giles: Like riding a bloody bicycle! He puts the car in gear and drives off, slowly leaving the zombies behind.", "Cut to Buffy's living room.", "Buffy: As if I even could've gone to you, Xander. You made your feelings about Angel and I perfectly clear.", "Xander: Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles. Cordelia doesn't think this is fair, and intercedes.", "Cordelia: Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute. Okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault--", "Buffy: (interrupts) Cordy! Get outta my shoes!", "Cordelia: I'm just trying to help, Buffy.", "Willow: Buffy, you never--", "Buffy: (nears the breaking point) Willow, please. I can't take this from you, too.", "Xander: Let her finish! You at least owe her that.", "Buffy: God, Xander! Do you think you could at least stick to annoying me on your own behalf?", "Xander: Fine! You stop acting like an idiot, I'll stop annoying you!", "Buffy: (steps up to Xander) Oh, you wanna talk acting like an idiot, Nighthawk?", "Oz: Okay. I'm gonna step in now, (gets between them) being Referee Guy.", "Willow: No, let them go, Oz. (gets a look from him) Talking about it isn't helping. We might as well try some violence. A zombie suddenly smashes though the living room window and comes in. Others follow right behind.", "Willow: I was being sarcastic! A zombie grabs Xander, and they start to wrestle. Another one grabs the Stoner's head and twists it violently, breaking his neck. Xander gets the upper hand on the slow-moving zombie and throws him back out of the window. Willow and Oz scramble to help out. A zombie dives through the kitchen door window. The remaining party guests all try to drive the zombies out, but aren't very organized about it. Xander breaks away from the crowd.", "Buffy: Xander, kitchen!", "Xander: I got your back! She tosses him an andiron from the fireplace, and he runs into the kitchen with Cordelia close behind. A zombie attacks Buffy, and she launches herself into a hopping side kick to his gut. She sidesteps a punch and swings under his arm with an uppercut to his jaw, but he isn't fazed. He swings at her with both arms, knocking her aside. Joyce watches Buffy fight, cringing at every blow. Buffy punches the zombie twice in the face and then ducks past him as he lunges at her with his arm trying to grab her. He turns around and tries to make a grab for her, but Joyce comes up behind him with a vase and smashes it over his head. The party guests are having limited success keeping the zombies out of the house. Buffy leg sweeps the zombie and knocks him down.", "Joyce: Are these vampires?", "Buffy: Uh, I don't think so.", "Willow: Buffy, heads up! She tosses Buffy a piece of the broken window frame. Buffy catches it out of the air and tries staking the zombie. He just looks up at her as though she pinched him.", "Buffy: No, not vampires. The zombie starts to get back to his feet.", "Cut to the kitchen. Xander swings the andiron at one of them, making him stagger a bit. Cordelia looks around and finds a stake on the counter. She jams it into the zombie's gut. He staggers back again. Pat looks into the kitchen from the hall, not paying attention to her back. A zombie comes up behind her and grabs her by the jaw and the back of her head. She screams as she's dragged off. The zombie in the kitchen comes at Xander again. Another one is trying to crawl in through the window over the sink.", "Xander: Man, this sucker wobbles, but he won't fall down! He swings the andiron at the zombie's legs and knocks him to he floor.", "Cut to the living room. Joyce hits the zombie repeatedly over the head with a broken piece of wood. Jonathon is holding a guitar, ready to smash it over the zombie.", "Buffy: We got to get 'em back outside!", "Joyce: On three! Devon grabs the zombie by the back. Oz and Joyce each grab an arm.", "Joyce: One . . . Two . . . Three! Together they drag him to the front door, where Buffy is waiting to slam it shut. The three of them throw the ghoul out and barricade themselves against the door. The zombie slams himself against it, trying to get back in.", "Buffy: Okay! We're gonna have to barricade this door!", "Cut to the kitchen. Xander and Cordelia have their zombie pinned face down to the floor with his arms behind him.", "Buffy: We need some help out here!", "Xander: I got him. Go help Buffy. Cordelia rushes into the living room to help while Xander ties up the zombie. Cut to the front door. Some of them scramble to get something to barricade the door while others lean against it to keep it closed.", "Oz: Grab that table! He goes to grab the small table. Devon takes his place at the door. Oz drags the table back and positions it against the door. He leans into it while Devon goes off to get another one. Xander shows up to help, too. Suddenly the zombie punches through the door and makes a grab for Oz's shoulder.", "Buffy: Upstairs! She runs up the stairs and into her mother's room. Willow, Xander and Joyce follow her. At the top of the stairs Joyce sees Pat lying unconscious on the floor further down the hall.", "Joyce: Oh, Pat! She rushes over to Pat. Willow and Buffy run over to help also.", "Joyce: Oh, God . . . Pat wakes, and Willow and Joyce help her up, each getting under one arm.", "Buffy: Careful!", "Pat: Oh . . .", "Xander: (watches the stairs) Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.", "Joyce: (to Pat) I got you. Okay. They drag her toward the bedroom. Xander ushers them in and follows. Cut below. The stand at the door has to be abandoned. Devon runs out the back. Cordelia helps Oz get away from the zombie outside the door, and they try to run up the stairs, but another zombie grabs Oz from behind and pulls him down to the floor.", "Cordelia: Oz! She reacts quickly and comes back down holding her hand out to Oz, but he waves her off.", "Oz: GO! GO! She starts to run toward the back, and Oz scrambles out of the zombie's reach, running right behind her.", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. She and Willow have to drag Pat the rest of the way in and lie her down on a large padded wicker chair and footrest while Buffy and Xander try to get the door closed to keep a zombie out. Willow feels for a pulse on Pat's neck.", "Willow: She's--", "Joyce: Oh, God! Pat! She's dead! The zombie gives the door a good bump, knocking Xander back and into the far wall. The impact vibration knocks the mask from its hook. Buffy manages to shove the zombie back a bit. Willow and Joyce run to help. The eyes of the mask begin to glow red again. Xander gets back up, and now all four of them are pushing against the door to get it closed.", "Joyce: What do we do if they get in?", "Xander: I kind of think we die. The mask's eyes keep glowing. Cut to Pat. Her eyes open wide. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside a downstairs closet. It's absolutely dark.", "Cordelia: I don't hear anything. Should we check?", "Oz: (exhales) Let's go for it. He opens the door and looks out. No zombies. He looks the other way. The coast appears to be clear. They can, however, hear noises coming from upstairs. Oz gives Cordelia a glance and looks around again to be absolutely sure that at least there isn't anything going on downstairs. Cordelia sees a pair of ski poles in the closet and hands one of them to Oz.", "Cordelia: Here.", "Oz: Thanks. Together they start down the hall toward the stairs. They reach the kitchen door. Cordelia looks in and startles when suddenly Giles appears there, having come in through the back door. She holds her ski pole up to his neck. Oz holds his ski pole pointed at Giles' gut.", "Giles: Cordelia, it's me! It's me!", "Cordelia: How do we know it's really you and not zombie Giles?", "Giles: Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.", "Cordelia: It's him. She and Oz both draw back their weapons. The noises upstairs seem to get louder. They start moving toward the stairs again.", "Oz: I think the Dead Man's Party's moved upstairs.", "Giles: That makes sense. It's the mask in Joyce's bedroom they're after.", "Cordelia: Mask?", "Giles: The mask holds the power of a . . . zombie demon, called Ovu Mobani--Evil Eye. I don't think we can get past them. They crouch by the stairs and try to look upstairs.", "Oz: Well, what happens if they get the mask?", "Giles: If one of them puts it on, they become the demon incarnate.", "Cordelia: Worse than a zombie.", "Giles: Yes, worse.", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. Pat sits up on the footrest. The zombie at the door overpowers Buffy and the others, pushing the door in violently. Joyce and Xander fall to the floor. The zombie comes in and backhand punches Buffy, sending her into the wall. Pat sees the fighting, but her attention is drawn to the mask lying on the floor. Its eyes glow a bright red now. Xander tries to grab the zombie from behind, but it throws a backhand punch and hits Xander in the jaw. Xander goes flying in a high arc onto the bed and rolls off of the far side onto the floor. Pat stands up, her gaze fixed on the mask, and steps over to it. Joyce sees her stand up, and looks at her amazed. She gets up from the floor and goes over to Pat.", "Joyce: Oh, God! We thought you were-- She tries to hug Pat, but Pat grabs her outstretched arms and pushes her hard onto the bed. Joyce rolls off next to Xander. Pat bends down to pick up the mask and holds it to her face as she stands back up. The eyes suddenly glow a very bright red, and the mask integrates itself into Pat's face. The zombie immediately stops fighting Willow and falls to his knees, screaming and cowering before Ovu Mobani incarnate.", "Xander: (to Joyce) Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good. Willow looks at Mobani, transfixed by its stare.", "Mobani: I live, you die. Buffy tries to get between them. Ovu Mobani turns to her, and its eyes flash, mesmerizing Buffy. It backhand punches her, and sends her flying in a high arc against the closet door. Buffy is only slightly dazed, and quickly raises herself up on her hands. She sees Willow back away from Mobani fearfully.", "Buffy: Willow, don't look! Mobani's eyes flash again at Willow, and she freezes. The demon strides over to her and grabs her by the jaw and the back of her head. Buffy lunges at Mobani, grabs it and dives out of the bedroom window. Cut outside. The two of them fall onto the roof and roll down and off. They hit the railing of the back porch and break it, fall over some bushes and roll into the backyard.", "Cut to Giles, Oz and Cordelia on the stairs. They hear the crash through the window.", "Giles: Out back! They rush back down the stairs, but a zombie appears from the dining room and takes Giles by the neck. Cut outside. Buffy and Ovu Mobani get to their feet. Buffy looks away and quickly puts some distance between herself and the demon, shading her eyes as she goes.", "Buffy: Not looking. Mobani makes tracks after her.", "Buffy: Not looking!", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. With Ovu Mobani no longer there, the zombie has quit its cowering and begun attacking the mortals. Xander and Willow each have the zombie by an arm, and Joyce swings a baseball bat hard into his back. The zombie screams and flails its arms, shaking Xander and Willow loose. He turns to face Joyce, who keeps swinging the bat. The zombie blocks the blows with its arm, but Joyce doesn't stop. Cut outside. Mobani tackles Buffy to the ground and turns her over. Buffy immediately covers her eyes with her arm, and the demon's eye flashes have no effect on her. Buffy snap kicks Mobani off of her, and the demon flies across the yard and lands hard on its back.", "Cut to the stairs. Oz and Giles try to use a ski pole to hold the zombie at bay, but it's not working very well.", "Giles: Tell Buffy Mobani's power lies in his eyes! Oz kicks the zombie twice in the shoulder, trying to force him back so he can get down the stairs. The zombie isn't fazed, so Oz just hops over the stair railing instead.", "Giles: She has to go for the eyes to defeat him! Cut outside. Buffy gets to her hands and knees and scrambles over to the shovel. Behind her Mobani is coming for her again. Buffy turns around with the shovel raised, but the demon flashes its eyes at her again, this time making her freeze. Behind them Oz comes running out of the kitchen door.", "Oz: Buffy! This distracts Ovu Mobani and brings Buffy out of her trance. Mobani flashes its eyes at Oz, making him freeze on the porch. Buffy stands back up and raises the shovel.", "Buffy: Hey, Pat! Ovu Mobani snaps its head around to look at Buffy again, who jams the shovel into the demon's eyes, embedding it in its head. Mobani grabs the shovel handle and tries to pull it out, but can't.", "Buffy: Made you look. In a flash of brilliant white light Ovu Mobani disappears.", "Cut to Joyce's bedroom. She is still beating on the zombie. In a flash of light he disappears. Joyce's next swing goes wild, and she stops.", "Cut to the stairs. Cordelia is helping Giles hold the zombie at bay with the ski poles, when he disappears in a flash of light, making her fall forward. She reacts quickly and steadies herself against the wall. Cut outside. Buffy just stares where Mobani was. On the porch Oz shrugs.", "Oz: Never mind. Cut inside. Giles and Cordelia come down the stairs. Behind them Joyce runs down and into the living room, looking for Buffy. She sees her and Oz come in through the kitchen.", "Joyce: Honey! She embraces her daughter tightly. Buffy hugs her mom back.", "Joyce: Oh! They release their embrace. Oz sees Willow come into the living room and goes to her.", "Joyce: Are you all right?", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Joyce: (panting) So, is this a typical day at the office?", "Buffy: No. This was nothing. Willow and Oz hold hands, and then turn to face Buffy. Xander comes into the living room through the kitchen. Cordelia joins them. Joyce looks around at the mess in the house.", "Xander: (to Buffy) Nice moves.", "Buffy: You, too. Willow smiles, and goes to hug her best friend. They hold each other close for a long time. Giles looks on from the other side of the room and breathes deeply.", "Cut to Principal Snyder's office the next day. He's getting some files from his cabinet. There is a knock on his door. It opens and Giles comes in. Snyder glances over to see who it is, and goes to his desk.", "Snyder: Do we have an appointment?", "Giles: I'd like to have a word with you. Snyder drops the files on his desk and turns to face Giles.", "Snyder: If that word is Buffy, then I have two words for you: 'good' and 'riddance'. Now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment with the Mayor.", "Giles: You can't keep her out of this school.", "Snyder: (pulls on his jacket) I think you'll find I can.", "Giles: You had no grounds for expelling her.", "Snyder: I have grounds, I have precedent, and a tingly kind of feeling.", "Giles: Buffy Summers is a minor, and is entitled to a public education. Your personal dislike of the girl does not legally entitle you to--", "Snyder: (interrupts) Why don't you take it up with the city council? He grabs the files and his briefcase and heads for the door.", "Giles: I thought I'd start with the State Supreme Court. Snyder stops and faces him.", "Giles: You're powerful in local circles, but I believe I can make life very difficult for you, professionally speaking. (confidently) And Buffy will be allowed back in.", "Snyder: Sorry. I'm not convinced. He tries to go again. Giles grabs him by the lapel and shoves him back into his filing cabinet.", "Giles: (grining) Would you like me to convince you? Snyder shakes his head ever so slightly and looks back nervously.", "Cut to the Espresso Pump. Cut inside. The camera pans across the interior and stops on Buffy and Willow sitting on stools at a table with a couple of drinks.", "Willow: I mean, I'm not a full-fledged witch. That takes years. I just did a couple pagan blessings and . . . a teeny glamour to hide a zit.", "Buffy: Does it scare you?", "Willow: It has. I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I *so* wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare.", "Buffy: I wish I could've been there with you.", "Willow: Me, too. I really freaked out.", "Buffy: I am sorry.", "Willow: It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. Mm, I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it. (gives Buffy a slightly smug look)", "Buffy: (smiles) You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?", "Willow: (smiles) It's like a drug!", "Buffy: Fine! Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps . . . for a while.", "Willow: All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time. (pauses) Runaway.", "Buffy: (gives her a surprised look) Will!", "Willow: (smiles and giggles) I'm sorry! Quitter.", "Buffy: (widens her eyes at her) Whiner.", "Willow: Bailer.", "Buffy: Harpy.", "Willow: Delinquent.", "Buffy: Tramp.", "Willow: (takes mock offense) Bad seed.", "Buffy: Witch.", "Willow: Freak." ]

[ "Another Slayer, Faith ( Eliza Dushku ), arrives in Sunnydale, closely tracked by two vampires, thoroughly modern Mr. Trick (K. Todd Freeman) and incredibly ancient Kakistos (Jeremy Roberts). Buffy and Faith set out to put an end to Kakistos. Buffy finally accepts Scott Hope 's ( Fab Filippo ) invitation to date." ]

[ "Prologue: Lunch hour at Sunnydale High School. The camera pans at a very low angle along the sidewalk past the stairs at the front of the school. Seniors are coming and going. The camera comes to rest on two pairs of legs, one standing calmly, the other rocking back and forth, heel to toe. The camera pans up to Willow and Oz, waiting for Xander and Cordelia so they can go. Oz is characteristically calm, but Willow is swaying around, almost nervously.", "Willow: (smiling) I'm giddy.", "Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.", "Willow: It's the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal! Heck, it's expected! Wow, it's, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. Oz looks back and sees Xander and Cordelia coming.", "Willow: You can't just rush into this, you know? Xander heads for Willow's side opposite Oz, and the two boys each grab an arm and start to pull her across the street.", "Willow: Ohh! She starts to resist, leaning backward with all of her weight.", "Willow: No, I can't! Oz and Xander just lift her by the arms and pull harder. Cordelia smiles at the spectacle.", "Xander: You can.", "Oz: See, you are.", "Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they're lying in wait to *arrest* me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record? They reach the other side of the street, and Oz and Xander steady her on the sidewalk.", "Xander: Breathe. Breathe. Willow takes a breath and lets it out, calming herself.", "Willow: Okay. Hmm... Oz takes Willow by the hand and Xander puts his arm around Cordelia. They begin walking into the small park in front of the school.", "Willow: (relaxed) This is good! This is... Hey, we're Seniors! (with an attitude) Hey, I'm walkin' here! (giggles) They see Buffy just inside the park. She has laid out a blanket in the shade of a palm tree by a bench, and is setting out serving plates of food and bottles of drinks. The group begins to walk toward her.", "Xander: Ahh. Buffy and food.", "Willow: Maybe we shouldn't be too couple-y around Buffy.", "Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?", "Xander: (admiringly) Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what? They come up behind the tree just out of Buffy's view.", "Oz: All right, prepare to uncouple... They take a few more steps.", "Oz: Uncouple. They let go of each other as they come around the tree. Willow crosses in front of Xander so Buffy sees girls on the right, boys on the left.", "Xander: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts, how are you and what's for lunch? Oz climbs onto the bench and sits on the backrest. The others kneel on the blanket.", "Buffy: Oh, I just threw a few things together.", "Cordelia: (impressed with Buffy's offerings) When did you become Martha Stewart?", "Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto. (hands out drink bottles)", "Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.", "Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.", "Buffy: (opens her bottle) Second of all, way too much free time on my hands since I got kicked out of school. (takes a drink)", "Willow: Oh, I know they'll let you back in. (takes a drink)", "Xander: Don't you and your mom have a meeting with Principal Snyder?", "Buffy: We're seeing Snyde-Man tomorrow.", "Willow: (notices a boy) Ooo, Scott Hope at eleven o'clock. (Buffy looks) (to Buffy) He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. Buffy snaps her head around at Willow and gives her a shocked look.", "Willow: (realizes her slip-up) Oh! I didn't mean the *bad* thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... (glares at Oz) You're supposed to stop me when I do that.", "Oz: (smiles and shakes his head) I like when you do that. Scott has finished talking with his friends and comes toward them. Buffy watches him approach. As he passes he looks over at Buffy.", "Scott: (smiles) Hi, Buffy.", "Buffy: (smiles back) Hi. Scott just continues on his way. Willow breaks out into a huge smile.", "Willow: I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very well?", "Cordelia: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. (nods) That's progress.", "Willow: Hey, did you do that little half-smile thing?", "Buffy: (sighs) Look, I'm not trying to snare Scott Hope. I just want to get my life back, you know, do normal stuff.", "Willow: Like date?", "Buffy: Well...", "Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.", "(chuckles)", "Buffy punches him on the arm, and none too lightly.", "Xander: (smiles and chuckles) Ow. (winces and holds his arm)", "Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!", "Cut to Happy Burger that night. The camera pans down from a shot of the building, past the restaurant's mascot, a fat boy eating a burger, and stops on the building again. A black stretch-limousine pulls into the parking lot and heads toward the drive-through lane. Cut to the back of the building. The car pulls up and stops at another fat boy fitted with a speaker and mic. The window of the limo lowers.", "Voice: Welcome to Happy Burger. May I take your order, please?", "Trick: Diet soda. Medium.", "Voice: That'll be eighty-nine cents at the window, sir. Trick raises the window, and the car pulls forward. Cut inside the car.", "Trick: Sunnydale. (looks at the man next to him) Town's got quaint. And the people? (smiles) He called me 'sir'. Don't you just miss that? I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers, you know, strictly the Caucasian Persuasion here in the Dale. But, you know, you just gotta stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis, (smiles) and hello darkness. It makes... D.C. look... like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about it. We could fit right in here. Have us some fun. The shot cuts to the other man, hidden in shadow.", "Kakistos: (growls) We're here for one thing. He pulls his cloven hand from Trick's knee. Trick looks at it, disgusted.", "Trick: Kill the Slayer, yeah. Still, big picture... He lowers the window again, and looks out. Cut outside. He hands the boy at the window a dollar. The boy hands him back the soda, a straw and his change.", "Boy: (smiles) Have a nice night, sir.", "Trick: (smiles) Right back at ya. (sits back) Cut inside the limo.", "Kakistos: The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body, and I'm going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her bones. Trick considers that for a moment, smacking his lips.", "Trick: Now I'm hungry. Cut outside. Trick lunges out of the window, vamped out. The boy is shocked, and tries to move away, but Trick already has him by the shirt. The boy screams as Trick pulls him out of the building and part way into the limousine. The car takes off with the boy's legs kicking outside the window. The limo screeches through the parking lot and into the street. The camera stops on the Happy Burger mascot, its mouth wide open to take another bite from the burger that it's holding. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. \"The Background\" by Third Eye Blind begins to play as the camera approaches the door. Cut inside. The camera pans past several couples dancing slowly to the music. It comes to rest on Buffy and Angel. They hold each other close and look deeply into each other's eyes as they slowly dance.", "Lyrics: Everything is quiet", "Buffy: I miss you. At a nearby table Oz, Willow, Cordelia and Xander watch them dance. Their faces are devoid of any expression.", "Lyrics: Since you're not around Buffy moves her left hand with her Claddagh ring down Angel's arm to take his hand.", "Lyrics: And I live in the numbness now The ring is loose on her finger, and before she can clasp his hand it falls off and clinks on the floor.", "Lyrics: In the background Angel and Buffy both look down at the ring.", "Lyrics: I do the things we did before Angel reaches down to pick up the ring. The music fades out.", "Lyrics: I walk Haight Street to the store Angel stands back up holding the ring. He gives Buffy a wounded look. She looks at the ring, frightened. Suddenly she flashes back to the mansion and sees herself thrusting the sword through Angel, and his surprised and pained face as the vortex closes and he disappears into Acathla's mouth with it. Her flashback is over, and the camera is on the gang at the table again, still watching, still expressionless. Cut to Angel and Buffy on the dance floor.", "Buffy: I had to. Angel's breath is shaky. He looks down at the ring in his fingers. He clenches it in his fist. Blood begins to ooze from between his fingers and drip to the floor. He looks intensely at Buffy.", "Angel: I loved you. Buffy watches aghast as the blood continues to drip. Then a bloodstain appears on his shirt at mid-chest. It grows quickly and begins to soak the front of his shirt. Buffy draws a frightened, worried breath and reaches out to his wound.", "Buffy: Oh, God! Angel...", "Angel: (yells) GO TO HELL! He stares at her with intense anger in his eyes. Buffy looks up from his chest wound to his face. It has turned green, and one side is rotting. Angel smiles and laughs smugly as he looks back at her.", "Angel: I did.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She wakes from her dream with a start and jerks her head from the pillow. Realizing it was only a dream, she puts her hand to her head and pulls it back through her hair. She sits up in bed and looks over at her nightstand. She reaches over, pulls open the drawer and lifts out a chain on which she has placed her Claddagh ring. She sits up straight in her bed and looks closely at the ring again: two hands for friendship, a crown for loyalty and a heart for love. Her mother knocks on her door and pokes her head in.", "Joyce: Morning, Sunshine! (smiles) Ready to face the beast?", "Cut to Snyder's office. He sits behind his desk, calmly giving it to them straight.", "Snyder: Here are the terms of your re-entry, Missy. Take 'em or leave 'em. Buffy takes a letter opener from his desk and begins to play with it.", "Snyder: One: that you pass a makeup test of every class you skipped out on last year. Buffy looks around absentmindedly and taps the letter opener on her hand.", "Snyder: Two: that you provide, in writing, one *glowing* letter of recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English librarian. Buffy's tapping is beginning to annoy him.", "Snyder: Three: that you complete an interview (stands up) with our school psychologist (walks around his desk toward Buffy) who must conclude that your violent tendencies... He pauses for a moment, then snatches the letter opener from Buffy's hand.", "Snyder: ...are under control.", "Joyce: I'm not sure I like your attitude, Mr. Snyder. I spoke with the school board, and according to them...", "Snyder: (walks back around his desk) I'm required to educate every juvenile who is not in jail where she belongs. He stops and looks out the window with his back to them.", "Snyder: Welcome back. Joyce and Buffy give each other a smile. Buffy stands up.", "Buffy: So let me get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board *overruled* you. (Snyder faces her) Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.", "Joyce: (gets up also) I think what my daughter's trying to say is... (sing-song) Nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah. She gives Snyder a defiant look, and the two women turn and walk out of the office, proud of themselves. Snyder just blankly watches them go. The intercom on his desk buzzes.", "Secretary: It's the Mayor on line one. Snyder's eyes quickly widen with worry.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Buffy walk in. The place seems to be empty of people.", "Willow: It's so great that you're a schoolgirl again.", "Buffy: Giles say what he wanted? Do you think he's mad? They stop at the counter. There are bowls and jars of various dried herbs arrayed on it.", "Willow: No, I don't think so. I think he just needed to see you. (glances around) (smiling) Have you ever noticed, though, when he *is* mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck- cluck sound with his tongue? Giles suddenly rises up from behind the counter and looks at the things he's laid out on the counter.", "Buffy: Hi, Giles! (raises her eyebrows at Willow and smiles)", "Willow: (turns to face him, looking worried) Oh, hi! Been there long?", "Giles: (preoccupied) Buffy, good timing. (looks around behind the counter) I could use your help. I trust you remember the demon Acathla?", "Buffy: Giles, contain yourself. Yes, I'm back in school, but you know how it embarrasses me when you gush so. (Giles looks up from his searching) Let's just skip all that and get straight to work.", "Giles: (slowly straightens up) Oh, ahhhh... Well, I, um... Well-w... O- o-of course, it's wonderful to have you back, i-i-it goes without saying. (Buffy raises her eyebrows at him and smiles) But... (notices Buffy's look) You enjoy making me say it, don't you? He sets his glasses on his nose and continues looking around. Buffy plays with a bowl on the counter.", "Buffy: Okay, Acathla, huh? What are you doing, making him some demon pizza? She picks up a bundle of sage, sniffs it and frowns. She holds it over for Willow to sniff, who smiles.", "Giles: We need to make sure that he remains dormant and that the dimensional vortex is sealed tight. So I'm working on a binding spell.", "Willow: (perks up) Oh, a spell? Can I help?", "Giles: Possibly, with the research. It's very sensitive and...", "Willow: (sounding hurt) Oh! Who's more sensitive than me?", "Giles: ...and difficult spell. (Willow frowns) It involves creating a- a-a protective circle around... Well, I don't want to bore you with the details, but, uh, well, there's a litany th-that one has to recite in Aramaic, and it's very specific. So I need to get a few details about your experience of defeating Acathla and Angel. He starts ingredient hunting again.", "Buffy: (considers for a moment) Fire away.", "Giles: I've put the time at about, um, (checks his notes) 6:17, around, about half an hour after Xander rescued me. (comes back to the counter)", "Buffy: Less. More like ten minutes.", "Giles: Oh, was the vortex already open?", "Buffy: Barely.", "Giles: I see. And Angel?", "Buffy: A big fight, Angel got the pointy end of the sword, Acathla sucked him into Hell instead of the world. That's about the it.", "Giles: (writes a few notes) Yes, well, that, um... should be very helpful.", "Buffy: (checks her watch) Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam. (gets her pile of books from the counter) They give you credit just for speaking it, right? She just gets looks from Giles and Willow.", "Buffy: (whines) Oh... She heads out the door to go take her exam. Willow picks up the bundle of sage and sniffs it some more.", "Willow: Mm, sage. I love that smell. (reaches into a jar) And marnox root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva... (gets a look from Giles) Does something I know nothing about.", "Giles: These forces are not something that one plays around with, Willow. What have you been conjuring?", "Willow: Nothing... much. Well, you know, I tried this spell to cure Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small stuff: floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won't do on the bedspread. (Giles looks down) Are you mad at me?", "Giles: (looks up) No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue. Willow is embarrassed and smiles cutely up at him.", "Cut to the Bronze. The band tonight is Darling Violetta, playing \"Cure\". The camera pans into the dance area and pauses on the band for a moment. Most couples are dancing normally, but there's one couple that is a bit more energetic about it.", "Lyrics: I've given you every part of me / Tried everything I could to make you see Another couple leaves the dance floor, and the camera follows them until they pass by an alcove furnished like a turn-of-the-century parlor, with a love seat, a couple of armchairs, tables and a lamp with a pink shade. A couple is sitting on the loveseat having some romantic smoochies.", "Lyrics: But you don't love yourself Buffy walks into view from behind carrying drinks and heads for them.", "Cut to the couple on the loveseat. It's Willow and Oz. Buffy crosses in front of the camera and sits in an adjacent chair.", "Buffy: Don't let me interrupt. Willow and Oz look up from their kissing. Willow sits up. Buffy smiles and hands Oz one of the drinks.", "Oz: Thanks.", "Lyrics: You can't love me or anyone else Willow notices Buffy's cheery mood and smiles as Oz accepts another drink from her and passes one to Willow.", "Willow: Are you... (to Oz) Is she all glowy? Buffy rolls her eyes up to the right and gives them an innocent look.", "Oz: Yeah, I suspect happiness.", "Buffy: (smiles) I passed my English makeup exam, hangin' with my friends. Hello, my life, how I've missed you.", "Lyrics: You said I was the best thing in your life Scott approaches them.", "Willow: Hi, Scott. What are you doing here?", "Scott: (gives her a smile) You told me if I came after 8:00, I could run into Buffy.", "Lyrics: Is that why you run, why you hide? Buffy shoots Willow a look. Willow is embarrassed and hides behind her drink, taking a big gulp.", "Scott: (to Buffy, smiling) Uh, I'm sorry. I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul. (gestures at his face) O-o-or the skin, actually. It makes me blotch.", "Lyrics: You will never be the cure", "Buffy: Hi, Scott. (smiles)", "Scott: Hi. Things are a bit awkward now, and Scott looks around for something to comment on.", "Lyrics: And you will never change", "Scott: Don't you love this song?", "Buffy: Uh, yeah! Actually, I do.", "Lyrics: You will never be the cure", "Scott: Well, would you like to... (indicates the dance floor)", "Buffy: Dance? Um... Willow smiles at her encouragingly.", "Lyrics: And you will never change", "Buffy: I don't know. (Willow frowns) I'm bad with... Well...", "Lyrics: You will never be the cure", "Buffy: (fidgets) Thank you for asking, it's just that there...", "Scott: Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go stand by the dance floor. If you change your mind, you can mosey on over, and then if not, then you don't mosey. No harm, no foul, right?", "Buffy: (halfheartedly) Right.", "Lyrics: I've given you every part of me Scott walks off to find a place to wait. Buffy rolls her eyes and flops her head back, mentally kicking herself for the way she handled that.", "Willow: (very disappointed) Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, a-and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to.", "Lyrics: Tried everything I could to make you see", "Oz: Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'.", "Buffy: I just don't think I'm ready.", "Willow: What's stopping you?", "Lyrics: But you don't love yourself Cordelia and Xander walk up.", "Cordelia: Check out Slut-O-Rama and her Disco Dave. She points and looks onto the dance floor as she and Xander sit on a low table against a wall. The camera cuts to the energetically dancing couple. Although the girl's style is more contemporary, the guy is dancing way too fast for the music, with an unmistakable 70's disco influence.", "Cordelia: What was the last thing that guy danced to, K.C. and the Sunshine Band? Willow and Oz both cock their heads to look at them.", "Lyrics: You can't love me or anyone else The couple continues to dance, getting close and touching each other at one point, then separating again.", "Lyrics: You said I was the best thing in your life Buffy begins to really wonder about them. The couple gets close again, and the girl extends her arm, pointing at the door. The guy takes the hint, and leads her out with his arm around her. Buffy watches them go, suspicious of his intentions. She sees him say bye to his buddy and head for the door.", "Buffy: I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine. She quickly puts down her drink and starts out after them. As she crosses the room behind the dance floor, Scott sees her coming and steps over to intercept her.", "Scott: Hi.", "Buffy: (stops short, startled) Hi. Oh, (frowns) no, I... (points at the door) I-I have to...", "Scott: (gets it) Oh. Uh, uh, sorry, my bad.", "Buffy: (apologetic) No. I-it's mine. Really, it's mine, but I...", "(glances back at the others) I-I-I have to go. (hurries out)", "Scott is very confused, and just watches her leave. Cut outside. Buffy strides out and looks around. Xander comes out right behind her followed closely by the others.", "Buffy: Where'd she go? She takes a few steps down the alley to the left to check things out. The others looks around also.", "Cordelia: I bet it's nothing. They're probably just making out. Buffy comes back. They hear a girl call out in a complaining tone.", "Girl: Hey! They also hear a loud noise, as though something was just broken. Xander pulls a stake out of his jacket. Buffy takes it from him and heads in the direction of the noise.", "Willow: That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it wrong. They all follow Buffy.", "Cut to the couple from the dance floor. The boy has the girl up against a section of temporary chain link fencing that's leaning against the building.", "Boy: Stop struggling. This won't hurt. The boy vamps out and moves in to bite the girl. She grabs him by the neck, pushes him away a bit and elbow jabs him in the face. He staggers back and regains his balance as she jumps onto a crate. She does a jumping roundhouse kick to his face, knocking him to the pavement. Buffy arrives. The girl notices her and approaches, smiling.", "Girl: It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right? Buffy is taken aback. Just as she's about to answer, the vampire comes up behind the girl and grabs her by the shoulders. She snaps her head back to head butt him in the face and grabs onto his arm.", "Faith: I'm Faith. She twists the vampire around and shoves him into the section of chain link fence.", "Oz: (to Willow) I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town. Faith knees him in the gut from behind. The vamp whirls around and tries to backhand punch her, but she easily ducks it. She punches him in the gut and then again in the face. Everyone just watches her fight. Xander follows her moves with jerks of his head. She does a high side kick to the vampire's jaw, grabs onto his shirt and neck and throws him to the ground. The vamp does a no-hand front roll to control his fall while Faith reaches over to Buffy for the stake and jerks it from her hand.", "Faith: Can I borrow that? The vampire uses the momentum of his roll to get back to his feet and runs at Faith, throwing a punch as he comes. She ducks it, hooks her hand on his shoulder, turns him around and pushes him back into the fence. She raises the stake and jams it cleanly into his chest and jerks it back out. The vampire instantly crumbles into ashes. Buffy stares in confused amazement. Faith faces her and hands her back the stake.", "Faith: Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you. She just continues walking past them all. Buffy turns to stare after her, unsure how to react. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. The camera follows a waitress holding a tray of six muffins past the pastry counter and into an alcove where Faith has joined the gang and is relating one of her stories to them.", "Faith: The whole summer it was, like, the worst heat wave. So it's about a hundred and eighteen degrees and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. The waitress sets the tray on a table and leaves.", "Faith: And all of a sudden, I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, (Xander looks down at her body, licking his lips) and this church bus has broke down, and there's these three vamps feasting (Buffy listens calmly) on half the Baptists in South Boston. (Willow listens intently) So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both. She reaches for a muffin. Xander stares blankly ahead of himself, trying to picture the scene.", "Xander: Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas. Cordelia, sitting next to him with her arms and legs crossed, turns her head to him and gives him a look. Faith tears into the muffin.", "Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny? (gobbles a piece) The others all turn their heads to look at Buffy. She stares back wide- eyed and suddenly uncomfortable.", "Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards. A look of sudden revelation washes across Cordelia's face, and she smiles.", "Cordelia: I get it. Faith gives her a confused look.", "Cordelia: Not the horny thing. Yuck! But the two Slayer thing. There was one, and then Buffy died for, like, two minutes, so then Kendra was called, and then when she died, Faith was called. Faith gives her a nod.", "Willow: But why were you called here?", "Faith: Well, I wasn't. My Watcher went off to some retreat thing in England, and so I skipped out. I figured this was my chance to meet the infamous Buff and compare notes. (Buffy gives her a little smile) So, B, did you really use a rocket launcher one time?", "Buffy: Uh, yeah, (leans forward) actually, it's a funny story. There was...", "Xander: (interrupts) So what was the, uh, story about that alligator? You, uh, said something... before.", "Faith: (with lots of gesturing) Oh, there's this Big Daddy Vampire out of Missouri who used to keep them as pets. So he's got me rasslin' one of 'em, okay? The thing must have been twelve feet (3.7 m) long and I'm...", "Xander: (interrupts) So was this, um, ahem, also naked?", "Faith: (teases) Well, the alligator was. (laughs) Xander smiles at her and laughs also.", "Cordelia: Xander? (glares when he looks) Find a new theme.", "Faith: (shakes her head) I tell ya, I never had more trouble than that damn vamp. (to Buffy) So what about you? What was your toughest kill? Buffy lowers her eyes and has another flashback to stabbing Angel in the chest with the sword, and his look of surprise and pain. She comes back and shakes herself out of her reverie.", "Buffy: Um, well, you know, (smiles weakly) they're all difficult, I guess. Faith waits for a story and takes a drink.", "Buffy: Uh... (remembers) Oh! Oh, do you guys remember the Three? They all look back inquisitively.", "Buffy: That's right, you never met the Three. Well, there was three...", "Oz: (interrupts) Something occurring. Uh, now, you both kill vamps, and who could blame you, but, I'm, I'm wondering about your position on werewolves.", "Willow: (put her hand on his shoulder) Oz is a werewolf.", "Buffy: It's a long story. (grins)", "Oz: (shrugs) I got bit.", "Buffy: Apparently not that long.", "Faith: (considers briefly) Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg, we're five-by-five, you know?", "Oz: Fair enough.", "Faith: The vamps, though, they better get their asses to DEFCON ONE, (points to Buffy) 'cause you and I are gonna have fun, you know, Watcherless and fancy-free. (smiles)", "Buffy: Watcherless?", "Faith: (looks around at everyone) Didn't yours go to England, too?", "Cut to the library. Giles stands at the end of the table with his hands in his pockets, reminiscing about the gatherings.", "Giles: There's a Watchers' retreat every year in the Cotswolds. (walks to the other end of the table) It's a lovely spot. It's very s-serene.", "(everyone listens) There's horse riding and hiking and punting (smiles)", "and lectures and discussions. It-i-it's... it's a great honor to be invited. (a tad bitter) Or so I'm told.", "Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.", "Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is *Giles*. Willow smirks.", "Faith: I see him. If I'd've known they came *that* young and cute, I would've requested a transfer. Giles takes off his glasses.", "Buffy: (grossed out) Raise your hand if 'ew'. (raises her hand) Xander raises his, but hides it by scratching his cheek.", "Giles: (chuckles) Well, um, uh, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, (goes to the copier) I'd-I'd say it was, um, (grabs the newspaper) fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did. (comes back with it)", "Willow: (shoots up her finger) (loudly) Aha! They all look at her.", "Willow: Sorry. I just meant... (shoots up her finger again) (loudly) aha! There's big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith. (Faith grins at her) 'Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil.", "Giles: Yes, well, I don't know how big an evil it is, but, uh, two people have disappeared from the Sunset Ridge District. He hands Buffy the newspaper. She and Faith quickly scan the article.", "Buffy: Well, I'm good for patrolling. Late-ish, though. I promised Mom I'd be home for dinner. She hands Xander the paper. Willow nods toward Faith while looking at Buffy with big eyes. Buffy turns her eyes to Faith, and gets the hint.", "Buffy: Um, to which you're also invited, of course, dinner with us.", "Faith: Dyin' to meet the fam. I'm in.", "Buffy: Great! Great, then we can patrol, (less than thrilled) also together.", "Willow: Hey, don't you have that health science makeup?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. Actually, I could use a little coaching. Willow hops off of the table, smiling. Xander grabs his things behind him.", "Willow: (to Faith) You know, you can hang out with us while she's testing. You wanna? Buffy mumbles to herself, realizing she's just become invisible to them.", "Xander: Say yes and, uh, bring your stories. (smiles as he walks out past Faith)", "Buffy: (goes to the table) You guys go. It's fine. Fine! I'll just... (sits) sit.", "Faith: (to Buffy) Okay. Hey, later. (to Giles) *We* will talk weapons. She follows Xander and Willow out of the library. Giles watches her go.", "Giles: (points) This, um, this new girl seems to (sits on the table) have a lot of zest. (smiles) Buffy glares up at him. He quickly changes the subject.", "Giles: I-I-I've been having a little problem with the, uh, binding spell for Acathla. I-I-I'm lacking the, the requisite details to perform it correctly. Now, physical location. Acathla was facing south?", "Buffy: Mm-hm. (points to three positions on the table) Acathla, Angel, me. (makes a jabbing gesture through the three positions) Sword. (looks up at him)", "Giles: Now, see, that's what I thought, but I...", "Buffy: (interrupts and stands up) Giles, look, I've got makeup tests to pass, (pulls on her backpack) missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. (grabs her books) Next time I kill Angel, I'll video it. She walks out of the library to go take her test. Giles seems confused.", "Cut to the hall. Willow, Faith and Xander come in through the door at the end of the hall. They are giving Faith the tour.", "Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, (points at the door) where we were mauled by snakes.", "Xander: (points down) And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.", "Willow: Oh, (points, smiling) and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night. Faith is finding it all pretty incredible, and smiles. They reach the stairs, and Willow points up to the landing.", "Willow: Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave. They stop walking.", "Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid. (smiles) Willow nods in agreement.", "Faith: (grins and laughs) You guys are a hoot and a half. If I'd had friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped out. But I might've been sad about it, you know? Willow and Xander give her understanding nods and exchange a smile.", "Faith: (crosses her arms) Hey, so what's up with B? I mean, she seems wound kinda tight. Needs to find the fun a little? Like you two.", "Willow: Well, um, she...", "Faith: (spies the drinking fountain and points) Oh. Water. Willow and Xander turn to watch her go to the fountain. Cordelia approaches behind them.", "Xander: Oh, and then the alligator story! (to Willow) She's got something, doesn't she?", "Cordelia: What is it with you and Slayers? (Xander jerks around to face her) Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.", "Xander: Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm. (takes her arm and smiles) The camera moves over to Faith finishing her drink. Scott comes out of the cafeteria and almost bumps into her. She jumps back.", "Scott: Oh. Excuse me.", "Faith: Sorry. (looks at him curiously) I know you from somewhere.", "Scott: (recognizes her also) The Bronze. You're friends with Buffy, right?", "Faith: Yeah. I'm Faith. (holds out her hand)", "Scott: (accepts it) I'm Scott. Nice to meet you.", "Faith: Nice to meet you! They let go of their handshake. Buffy comes hopping down the stairs and joins Xander, Cordelia and Willow.", "Buffy: Well, I'm two for two with makeup tests. Proud, yes, but also humble in this time of... (notices them all staring) We're looking at what? She looks also and sees Scott talking and laughing with Faith.", "Cordelia: Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color? She rolls her eyes in disbelief and walks away.", "Willow: I haven't seen him laugh like that. Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off. (Buffy looks at her) I mean, if you're done with him. (realizes she's doing it again) Not that you used him. She furrows her brow, sighs and shuts up while she still can. Buffy looks back at the two of them talking.", "Buffy: Well, I... hadn't definitely one hundred percent said no for all time. It's just, you know... You don't enter into these things lightly, you know. There's, there's repercussions to consider and... She sees Willow and Xander exchange a look.", "Buffy: Why am I seeing a look?", "Willow: (looks at her) You really *do* need to find the fun, B. Buffy looks at Willow in surprise.", "Willow: Uffy. Buffy sighs and decides to head over to Faith and Scott.", "Buffy: (smiles) Hey!", "Scott: Hey, Buffy! Uh, Faith has been telling me tall tales.", "Buffy: (smiles big) She's funny. (takes her arm) And she's leaving. We have to go.", "Scott: (disappointed) Oh...", "Faith: Bye. Buffy pulls her away and down the hall.", "Faith: (gestures back) He's a cutie. Is he seeing anybody? Buffy just ignores her and continues down the hall.", "Cut to a warehouse where Kakistos and Trick are holed up. The lights are low and candles are burning everywhere. Trick is typing away on his palm-top computer.", "Kakistos: Mr. Trick, talk to me.", "Trick: (looks up) Check this out. (walks over) This town, this very street, wired for fiber optics. (grins widely) See, we jack in a T-3, um, twenty-five hundred megs per, we have the whole *world* at our fingertips. Kakistos looks up at him, not really understanding.", "Trick: What I'm saying is, (grins) we stay local--where the humans are jumpin' and the cotton is high--but we live global. I mean, you know, you get the hankering for the blood of a fifteen-year-old Filipina, and I'm on the 'Net and she's here the next day, express air. (smiles widely)", "Kakistos: (losing his patience) I want the blood of the Slayer. Trick can't believe Kakistos' shortsightedness, and looks aside for a moment.", "Trick: On that note, there's good news and bad. Rumor has it that this town already has a Slayer, which makes two. (shakes his head) I'm not real sure how that happened.", "Kakistos: (jumps up from his chair, shouting) I don't care if there're a *hundred* Slayers! I'll kill them all! (indicates his scarred, blinded eye) She's going to pay for what she did to me.", "Trick: (nods) Yeah, she is. (there's a knocking at the door) I'm running a computer check on every hotel, rooming house and youth hostel in town. (goes to get a welder's glove) Meanwhile, as soon as the sun goes down, (pulls on the glove) we're out in force. (heads for the door) Food's here, boys. He opens the door, hiding behind it from the bright daylight outside. The Pizza Man looks in.", "Pizza Man: You guys order a piz... Trick lunges out with his gloved arm, grabs him by the shirt and yanks him in. The pizza falls to the floor along with the delivery man as Trick slams the door shut again. He roars and bends down for lunch.", "Cut to the Summers house. Joyce is serving dinner to Faith.", "Joyce: So you're a Slayer, too. Isn't that interesting! (smiles) Do you like it? (sets down the bowl)", "Faith: God, I love it!", "Buffy: (wants the bowl) Uh, Mom?", "Joyce: (waves her off) Uh, just a second, honey. (scoops broccoli onto Faith's plate) You know, Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it? Buffy gives up and grabs a pair of tongs to take some fries for herself.", "Faith: Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and", "I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feelin'. (digs into her food) Joyce smiles at that and takes her seat.", "Buffy: Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you lose.", "Faith: I don't let that kind of negative thinking in.", "Joyce: (points at Faith) Right. (shakes her finger) Right. That could get you hurt. Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. (to Buffy) See, honey, you gotta fight that. (smiles)", "Buffy: (smiles back weakly) I'm working on it. (keeps taking fries)", "Joyce: (notices Faith's empty glass) Oh, Faith, can I get you another soft drink?", "Faith: (hands over the glass) Oh, you bet.", "Joyce: Right. (goes into the kitchen)", "Faith: She's really cool, huh?", "Buffy: Best mom ever. (looks back into the kitchen) Excuse me. She gets up and goes. Faith grabs a bottle of hot sauce, gives it a sniff and grimaces.", "Cut to the kitchen. Joyce gets out a bottle of cola, brings it to the island and opens it.", "Joyce: I like this girl, Buffy. (pours the soda)", "Buffy: She's very personable. (sits on a stool) She gets along with my friends, my Watcher, my mom. (leans back and looks into the dining room) Look, now she's getting along with my fries. (leans forward)", "Joyce: (closes the soda bottle) Now, Buffy...", "Buffy: Plus, at school today, she was making eyes at my not-boyfriend. This is creepy.", "Joyce: (crosses her arms) Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?", "Buffy: (pouts) No, but I'm the one getting single-white-femaled here.", "Joyce: (nods) It's probably good you were an only child.", "Buffy: Mom, I'm just getting my life back. I'm not looking to go halfsies on it.", "Joyce: Well, there are some things I'd be happy to see you share. Like the slaying. I mean, two of you fighting is safer than one, right?", "Buffy: I guess.", "Joyce: Unless, I mean, you heard her. She *loves* the slaying. (leans over the island) Couldn't she take over for you?", "Buffy: Mom, no one can take over for me.", "Joyce: But you're going to college next year. I think it would be...", "Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies. This quickly registers in Joyce's mind, and she straightens back up. Buffy realizes she's just said way too much.", "Joyce: Then that means you... (upset) When did you die? You never told me you died!", "Buffy: No, i-it was just for a few minutes.", "Joyce: (starts to pace nervously) Oh, I hate this. I hate your life.", "Buffy: Mom, I...", "Joyce: (faces her daughter) Look, I-I know you didn't choose this, I know it chose you. (takes a breath) I have tried to march in the 'Slayer Pride' parade, but... (suddenly very solemn) I don't want you to die. Buffy lowers her eyes, shakes her head and gives her mother a warm hug.", "Joyce: Oh...", "Buffy: I'm not gonna die. I know how to do my job. (releases the hug) Besides, like you said, I've got help now. She looks into the living room to see Faith picking at everything in sight and stuffing it into her mouth.", "Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) I've got all the help I can stand.", "Cut to an alley at night. There is construction equipment lying around. Buffy and Faith come strolling along, looking around for any vampires.", "Faith: Didn't we, um, do this street already?", "Buffy: Funny thing about vamps. They'll hit a street even *after* you've been there. It's like they have no manners.", "Faith: (shrugs) Mm. You've been doing this the longest.", "Buffy: I have.", "Faith: Yeah. Maybe a little *too* long.", "Buffy: (looks at Faith) Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?", "Faith: Nothing.", "Buffy: You got a problem?", "Faith: (spreads her arms) I'm five-by-five, B, living entirely large, actually wondering about (points at her) *your* problem.", "Buffy: Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle alligators...", "Faith: Maybe it's time you started, 'cause obviously *something* in your bottle needs uncorking. What is it, (gestures wildly) the, the Angel thing? (keeps looking around)", "Buffy: (stops in her tracks) What do you know about Angel?", "Faith: (faces her, copping an attitude) Just what your friends tell me: big love, big loss. You oughta deal and move on, but you're not.", "Buffy: (steps closer) I got an idea: how about from now on, we don't hear from you on Angel or anything else in my life. Which, by the way, is *my* life.", "Faith: What are you getting so strung out for, B?", "Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?", "Faith: Did I just hear a threat?", "Buffy: Would you like to?", "Faith: Wow. Think you can take me?", "Buffy: Yeah. (looks over Faith's shoulder) I just hope they can't. She shoves Faith aside as a vampire attacks, making her fall to the ground. Buffy punches the vamp in the gut, and he goes flying onto his back. A second one comes in and takes a swing at Buffy, but she ducks him. She middle blocks his wide punch and low blocks his next punch. She then punches him in the face and the gut. She takes his head in both hands and twists. His body follows the motion, and he log rolls down to the ground. Faith gets back up and grabs a nearby trashcan. A third vampire runs in and punches Buffy in the face. He goes around behind her and trips her with his outstretched leg, making her fall to the ground. Behind him Faith crams the trashcan down over his head, blinding him. She takes hold of the can and pushes him into a sheet of drywall. The board breaks and falls on top of him as he falls over. One of the others dives for Buffy, but she rolls out of the way and onto her feet. Immediately she crouches down and stakes him in the chest. He bursts into ashes. The other one grabs her from behind and pulls her away. Faith's opponent is back up, and she spins around once and does a side kick, getting him in the stomach. The kick forces him back, and he knocks his head hard into a low pipe behind him. Buffy's attacker throws her onto a stack of plywood. She hits the wall behind it, but quickly gets to her feet. The vampire jumps onto the stack just in time to be side kicked in the stomach. He flies back and lands on a dumpster hard on his back, rolls off and falls to the ground. Faith's assailant punches her in the face, but she isn't fazed in the least. She blocks two punches with her forearms and then backhand punches him in the face.", "Faith: My dead mother hits harder than that! She grabs him by the sweater and throws him onto a couple of sheets of drywall laid across two sawhorses. They break instantly under his weight. She runs up to him, grabs his sweater and punches him in the face. Buffy flips her opponent in an awkward open front layout, and he lands hard on a large duct pipe, which crushes under him. She looks over at Faith, who is whaling away on her vampire with continuous punches to the face.", "Buffy: Faith! Stake him already and give me a hand! Still another vampire grabs her by her jacket and throws her to the ground. She lands on her stomach near a piece of wood lying there. The vampire and her original attacker both make a grab for her. Meanwhile Faith keeps whaling on her victim.", "Faith: This is *me*, (punch) you un (punch) dead (punch) b*st*rd! Buffy reaches desperately for the piece of two-by-four in front of her.", "Vampire: For Kakistos we live! For Kakistos you'll die! Buffy glances up at him for an instant, then continues desperately clawing for the hunk of wood.", "Buffy: (screams) FAITH! Faith pays her no attention and just keeps punching her vampire to a pulp.", "Buffy: OH!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The alley. Buffy keeps reaching for the two-by-four. Faith continues her pounding. Buffy finally manages to grab the board, and she swings it up and beans one of the vampires in the face with it, and turning to the other, push kicks him off of her. She quickly gets to her feet and looks over at Faith.", "Buffy: Faith! The one she kicked off makes a grab at her from behind, and she instinctively turns and jams the makeshift stake home. The vampire crumbles to ashes. She drops the hunk of wood, reaches into her jacket for a proper stake and heads over to Faith. Faith is still whaling on the vampire, long after he's too dazed to fight back.", "Faith: You (punch) can't (punch) touch (punch) me! She shakes the vampire a bit before going back to punching him. Buffy comes up behind her, grabs her by the waist and pulls her off of him. She them thrusts down with her stake and dusts him. Without skipping a beat she confronts Faith with her behavior.", "Buffy: What is wrong with you?", "Faith: What are you talking about?", "Buffy: I'm talking about you 'living large' on that vampire!", "Faith: Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work!", "Buffy: Yeah, or maybe you like it a little too much.", "Faith: I was getting the job done.", "Buffy: The job is to slay demons! *Not* beat them to a bloody pulp while their friends corner me!", "Faith: (shrugs) I thought you could handle yourself. (walks off) Buffy lets out an exasperated sigh.", "Cut to the school halls the next day. Buffy and Giles come out of the cafeteria and walk toward the library.", "Giles: What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different temperaments. (sips his coffee)", "Buffy: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. (Giles chuckles) The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three.", "Giles: You said yourself that she-she killed one. Sh-she-she's just a plucky fighter who got a little carried away. Which is natural. She's focused on the slaying. She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do.", "Buffy: She doesn't need a life. She has mine.", "Giles: I think you're being a little...", "Buffy: No, I'm being a lot. (Giles sips again) I know that. But she nearly got us both killed. The girl needs help.", "Giles: All right. I'll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat. They're (checks his watch) eight hours ahead now. I guess they're probably sitting down to a nightcap. Buffy continues on toward the library, but Giles just stands there and starts to stare off into space.", "Giles: I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good kayak.", "(Buffy comes back) You see, t-they don't even consider... (sees her looking at him) Sorry. I digress. (they both continue) The, um, vampires that attacked you, can you furnish me with some details that might help me trace their lineage? I mean, ancient or-or-or modern dress. Amulets, cultish tattoos... (sips his coffee)", "Buffy: Uh, no tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh... Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. (a spark of recognition appears on Giles' face) He lived for kissing toast.", "Giles: You mean 'Kakistos'?", "Buffy: (tries to remember) Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. (looks at him) What?", "Giles: Kakistos. (heads into the library)", "Buffy: (frowns) Is that bad? (follows him)", "Cut into the library. Giles quickly paces in and sets his things on the counter.", "Giles: 'Kakistos' is Greek. It means the worst of the worst. (Heads behind the counter) It's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven. He goes into his office and comes out with a book, setting it on the counter and leafing through it.", "Buffy: Now, this guy shows up two days ago, right? Right around the same time my bestest new little sister makes the scene.", "Giles: (looks up and considers) You think he and Faith are connected?", "Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns.", "Giles: Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously.", "Buffy: Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?", "Giles: (thinks for a moment) As far as I know, yes.", "Buffy: Good. Okay, you get England on the phone. I'm gonna talk to Faith, see if 'khaki trousers' rings...", "Giles: Kakistos.", "Buffy: Kakistos rings a bell. Or an alarm.", "Giles: Right.", "Buffy: Right. (heads out)", "Cut to the hall. Buffy strides toward the lounge and is about to round the corner toward the exit when Scott approaches her.", "Scott: Hi.", "Buffy: (surprised to see him) Scott!", "Scott: How are you?", "Buffy: Uh, o-okay. You know, I-I gotta...", "Scott: I know, be somewhere else, right? Think of this as my last-ditch effort. I realize that one more is gonna qualify as stalking. (nervously) I've given it a lot of thought--some might say too much thought--to, to how I might be a part of your life. It begins with conversation. We all know this. Maybe over a cup of coffee, or maybe at the Buster Keaton festival playing on State Street all this weekend. Buffy finds this to be a very sweet overture and smiles warmly. She takes a moment to consider his offer.", "Buffy: You know, come to think of it, I-I don't think I've given a fair chance to... Buster Keaton. I... I like what I've seen of him so far. I... I think it might be time to see a little more.", "Scott: (takes and releases a breath, smiling) Keaton is key. Oh. (reaches into a pocket) Um, I got you a little present. (pulls out a small box) The guy in the retro shop said that it represents friendship, (holds it out to her) and that's something I would very much like to have with you. Buffy takes the box, looks up at him and back at the box. She takes off the lid and looks at what's inside. It's a Claddagh ring.", "Scott: You like? She immediately has an anxiety attack, and drops the box. The ring falls free of its padding and hits the floor with an echoing clinking. Giles comes down the hall toward them just in time to see it fall.", "Buffy: I can't. I-I-I-I can't do this. (takes a quick breath) Scott bends down to pick up the box and the ring. He looks at her and at the ring.", "Scott: Okay. I get the message. (leaves) Buffy just stands there as if in a trance. Giles reaches out to her.", "Giles: Are you all right? She shoves off his caring hand, not realizing who it is.", "Buffy: Uh... (looks up) Giles, I, uh... (wipes a tear) Yeah, I'm fine. (tries to settle herself) Um, did you reach the retreat?", "Giles: (looks at the floor) Yes, I did.", "Buffy: W-what did her Watcher say?", "Giles: Her Watcher's dead. Buffy stares back in disbelief.", "Cut to a cheap hotel. Cut into a room. The hotel manager is having a talk with Faith.", "Manager: The room's eighteen dollars a day. That's every day.", "Faith: Yeah, I know. I'll get it to you by tomorrow, I swear.", "Manager: (sighs and shrugs) It's not like I own the place.", "Faith: (gives him a smile) But I bet you will someday.", "Manager: Not if I listen to broads like you. Buffy appears at the door and steps in.", "Manager: (to Faith, indicating Buffy) Roommates are extra.", "Buffy: I'm just visiting. The manager gives up and walks out of the room. Buffy reaches for the door to pull it shut.", "Faith: So, what brings you to the poor side of town? The door slams closed, and Buffy faces Faith.", "Buffy: Cloven Guy. Goes by the name Kakistos.", "Faith: (taken aback) What do you know about Kakistos?", "Buffy: That he's here. The look on Faith's face betrays her apprehension at hearing this.", "Buffy: We're not happy to see old friends, are we? What'd he do to you?", "Faith: (quickly grabs her bag) It's what I did to him, all right? She puts it on the bed and starts to stuff her things into it.", "Buffy: And what was that? Faith, you came here for a reason. I can help.", "Faith: (looks up from packing) You can mind your own business. (points at herself) *I'm* the one that can handle this.", "Buffy: Yeah. You're a real bad-ass when it comes to packing. (gets a look from Faith) What was that you said about my problem? Gotta deal and move on? Well, we have the 'moving on' part right here. What about dealing? Is that just something you're gonna dump on me?", "Faith: (finishes packing) You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. I'll take care of this, all right? (heads for the door)", "Buffy: Like you took care of your Watcher? This stops Faith cold. She lets go of the doorknob and looks down sadly. A moment later she turns to Buffy.", "Buffy: He killed her, didn't he?", "Faith: (angrily) They don't have a word for what he did to her. There's a knock at the door. Faith looks through the peephole and sees that it's the manager, looking very strung out.", "Faith: (sighs) Oh, what now?", "Buffy: Faith, you run, he runs after you.", "Faith: That's where the head start comes in handy. She opens the door and sees Kakistos standing behind the dead manager, holding him up. Faith steps back into the room aghast. Kakistos drops the manager's body and smiles at her.", "Kakistos: Faith. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Faith's hotel room. Kakistos roars and grabs Faith by the neck. She grabs his wrist and tries to pull him off of her, but he is too strong.", "Faith: No! Buffy rushes up between them, shoves Faith back into the room, forcing Kakistos to let go, and slams the door on his arm. He yells in anger and pain, and eventually has to pull his arm out. Buffy slams the door shut, locks it and puts on the safety chain.", "Buffy: I just bought us a little more... Kakistos punches through the door and tries to reach for Buffy.", "Buffy: ...time!", "Faith: (panics and screams) NO! NOOOOO!", "Buffy: Scream later! Escape now! She runs for the bathroom dragging Faith behind her. Behind them Kakistos kicks in the door. Cut to the alley behind the hotel. The bathroom window gets kicked out, and Faith scrambles through. Buffy jumps through right behind her.", "Buffy: Let's go! She takes Faith's hand again, and they start to run. They reach a fork in the alley and take the left one. Trick and his thugs reach the intersection a moment later. One of them follows the girls. Trick signals for two of the others to double back while he and a fourth take the right fork. Cut inside a warehouse. Buffy comes crashing in through a window, and Faith jumps in behind her. They scramble to their feet and see the vampire chasing them run right past.", "Buffy: We're okay. (faces Faith) What happened? Faith is too freaked out to think straight.", "Buffy: Faith, what happened?", "Faith: (frightened) I... I was *there* when he killed my Watcher, and I saw what he did to her... what he was gonna do to me. I tried to stop him, but I... I couldn't. And I ran.", "Buffy: (breathing hard) Faith, first rule of slaying: don't die. You did the right thing. Okay? You didn't die. Now you do the math. One of him, two of us.", "Faith: (looks past Buffy shaking her head) No.", "Buffy: Yes.", "Faith: (getting panicky) No. Buffy turns around to see what she's looking at. There on the floor lie the bodies of the Pizza Man and others.", "Faith: This is his place.", "Buffy: He drove us here. One of the vampires appears at an entrance and growls at them. They begin to run through the warehouse. The vampire gives chase. Two others come in the other side and try to head them off. Buffy stops by a bucket, and putting her foot in, kicks it into one of the vampire's faces. He stumbles backward and over a chair. She does a full spinning hook kick to the other vampire and a side kick to another one behind her. He falls backwards over a table. Buffy runs and jumps onto the table, log rolls over it and kicks him in the back as he tries to get back up. Kakistos walks into the building, his one-eyed gaze fixed on Faith. Buffy rolls to a stand on the table. She picks up a crowbar and swings it baseball style at yet another vampire advancing towards her, hitting her squarely in the neck and knocking her down and out. She sees Kakistos advancing on Faith.", "Buffy: Faith! (gets her attention) Don't die! (throws her the crowbar) Faith catches the crowbar in mid-air, but before she can swing it at Kakistos, he punches her hard and knocks her into a bunch of large wooden beams leaning against the wall. She hits the floor as the beams go tumbling. Trick walks in calmly, nodding his head and observing the fight. Buffy knife hands her attacker in the neck and throws him into an assisted front tuck off of the table. Kakistos calmly steps up to Faith as she scrambles up against the wall, cowering. He reaches down and grabs her by the shirt, picking her up off of the floor.", "Faith: NO! Once he has her up, he punches her squarely in the face. Buffy is no longer on the table, and she roundhouse kicks over it, knocking the legs out from under a vampire standing on it. He rolls off of the table and onto his back, and Buffy stakes him cleanly. She looks up at Faith being whaled on by Kakistos. Behind her the unconscious vampire wakes. Kakistos finally hits Faith hard enough to knock her from his own grip onto the floor. He roars loudly. Buffy jumps up and runs over to attack him. She roundhouse kicks him in the back of the knee, spins around and tries to backhand him in the face, but he blocks it. She spins around the other way and backhands him in the face. The now wakened vampire gets back up from the floor, and Trick comes up behind her.", "Trick: If we don't do something, the Master could get killed. He considers that for a moment, and decides that wouldn't be such a bad thing.", "Trick: Well, our prayers are with him. He and the vampire turn to leave. Buffy tries to stake Kakistos, but the stake can't easily penetrate his thick hide, and so has no effect on him. He grabs Buffy by the hair, lifts her and throws her back. Trick and the vampire calmly continue on their way out.", "Trick: There's a reason these vengeance crusades are out of style. It's the modern vampire who sees the big picture. Buffy backhands Kakistos, landing a hard punch. He swings at her, but she ducks. She stands up and tries to stake him again, but even though the stake goes in deeper this time, it still has no effect on him. Again he grabs her by the head and shoves her back into the wall. Faith recovers from her daze, and sees him looming before her, but looking at Buffy instead of at her.", "Kakistos: I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer! (laughs maniacally) Faith sees that one of the fallen beams has a broken end. She lifts it up over her shoulder, and before Kakistos can turn his attention back onto her she thrusts the beam through his chest and out his back. He looks down at it and back up at Faith, and then explodes into ashes. Buffy stares in amazement. Faith heaves a few heavy breaths. Buffy pulls the hair back from her face and steps over to Faith, who looks around to make sure nothing else is about to attack. They both look down at the pile of ash left by Kakistos.", "Buffy: You hungry?", "Faith: Starved. They both head out of the building.", "Cut to Sunnydale High School the next day. Cut to the library. Giles gets up from his desk and comes out to the table in the main room.", "Giles: The council has approved our request. Faith is to stay here indefinitely. (walks around the table) I'm to look after you both until a new Watcher is assigned. (picks up some papers) Buffy is sitting on the table and Willow is sitting in a chair.", "Buffy: Good. She really came through in the end. (slides off of the table) She had a lot to deal with, but she did it. She got it behind her.", "Giles: I'm glad to hear it. (looks over the papers) Buffy looks down at the table sadly and quietly for a long moment.", "Buffy: Angel was cured.", "Giles: (looks up) I'm sorry?", "Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. (to Willow) Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. (Willow looks up, taking it all in) I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him. She looks down at the table again for another long moment. The others stay silent.", "Buffy: I don't know if that helps with your spell or not, Giles.", "Giles: Uh, yes, I, I believe it will.", "Willow: (very sympathetically) I'm sorry.", "Buffy: It's okay. (gives them a little smile) I've been holding on to that for so long. Felt good to get it out. (pauses, then smiles thinly) I'll see you guys later. She walks out of the library while looking down at the floor. Willow watches her friend go, contemplating the meaning of it all. Giles eventually starts to go back to his office. As he walks around Willow she gets up from her chair.", "Willow: Giles, I know you don't like me playing with mystical forces, but I can really help with this binding spell.", "Giles: There is no spell. He starts toward his office again. Willow begins to realize that he'd made the whole spell issue up to get Buffy to talk and release her inner sorrow.", "Cut to the halls. Scott comes out of a classroom. Buffy is waiting behind the door for him, and steps out into the hall when she sees him pass by.", "Buffy: Scott.", "Scott: (stops) Uh, hello. (pulls on his backpack)", "Buffy: Hey. Uh, I was, um, I was waiting for you to get out of class.", "Scott: Oh. Um, why?", "Buffy: Um... There was someone a while ago, and, uh, the ring sort of confused me. But I liked what you said about friendship. (begins to ramble) I liked it a lot. And Buster Keaton. Big fun. And I'm capable of big fun even though there's no earthly way you could possibly know that about me. Wow. If I knew I was gonna go on this long, I probably would've brought some water. Uh, (exhales) what I'm trying to say is, um... if you would still like to go to the film festival--and I would understand it if you didn't--I'd pretty much love to go with you.", "Scott: (looks around awkwardly) Uh... Ahem. (shrugs) I don't know, Buffy. I'm, I'm really gonna have to think about this. Buffy nods in understanding. He starts down the hall for a few steps, stops and immediately comes back.", "Scott: Okay. You know what, I thought about it, and I'm in. When do you want to go?", "Buffy: (smiles) Uh, well, I have one thing that I have to do tonight, and then I'm good.", "Scott: (smiles) Good. Buffy smiles back at him warmly.", "Cut to the mansion that night. Cut inside to the great room where Acathla stood. Buffy slowly walks in from a side door to the spot where she slew Angel. She looks down at the floor, and the tears begin to come. She slowly crouches down, and looks at her Claddagh ring.", "Buffy: (quietly) Goodbye. Gently she places the ring on the floor. She reflects for a moment before standing back up, looking at the great hall around her. She turns around and slowly starts to walk away toward the main door. The camera shows her walking from a high angle, giving a good view of the cavernous room. When she's gone, the camera cuts to the ring. The picture fades to black. A moment later a bright beam of light illuminates the ring on the floor. It gets more and more intense, and the ring begins to vibrate, clinking madly against the marble. Suddenly the room is awash with a blindingly bright white light emanating from a dimensional portal opening above the ring. A body falls through and hits the stone floor hard. The light fades as the portal closes, and a naked man is left lying there. He is unsteady as he tries to get up, but he is too weak to do more than lift his face. It is Angel, looking very dazed. His breathing is shallow and labored, and he shivers violently as he looks up at the room around him." ]

[ "After Oz escapes from his cage, everyone suspects that he committed last night's brutal murders. Only Buffy knows that Angel is a suspect as well." ]

[ "Prologue: Night in a wood near Sunnydale. The full moon rises slowly above the trees. Cut into the wood. The camera moves among the trees and bushes low to the ground in slow motion. Buffy reads from 'Call of the Wild' in a voiceover.", "Buffy: 'One night after supper, the lead dog turned up a snowshoe rabbit. The dog lay down low to the race, his body flashing forward, leap by leap.'", "Cut to the library. Buffy's voice dissolves into that of Willow, who is walking around the area by the cage while reading from the book.", "Willow: 'He was sounding the deeps of his nature and the parts of his nature that were deeper than he, going back into the wombs of time. The rabbit could not...' Suddenly werewolf Oz leaps up against the cage door and rattles it at her. She startles and steps back.", "Willow: Okay. Uh, maybe we should try a less stimulating passage. She flips through the pages of the book while Oz growls at her and settles back down in the cage. Xander walks into the library, carrying a thermos and a couple of magazines, looking very tired.", "Xander: Private Harris reporting for Oz watch.", "Willow: (looks up from the book) Xander! Oh, good. Xander yawns as he walks up to her and takes the book out of her hands.", "Xander: Oh! 'Call of the Wild.' Aren't we reading the Cliff Notes to this for English?", "Willow: Some of us are. (takes back the book) Anyway, it'll help you stay awake. It's good and, and very wolfy. (looks at Oz) Seems to soothe the savage beast. She takes Xander's arm and leads him away from the cage toward the table. As the camera pulls back with them the towels draped across most of the cage come into view.", "Willow: (quietly) Except for the parts about... (whispers) rabbits. Oz hears that, and he jumps against the cage, banging it loudly. Xander and Willow both jump and look back at him.", "Xander: (snags the book) Rabbis? (looks it over)", "Willow: (takes the book back again) It... seems to make him a little overexcited. (puts it on the table) Okay. Now, he's had his 2:00 feeding, and, uh, after sunrise, if he forgets where his clothes are, they're on top of the file cabinet in his cage. (indicates the cage) I put those towels up for privacy.", "Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. (smirks) I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle.", "Willow: (nods) Mm, okay. (with lots of nervous gesturing) Well, it's not for you. It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to half a Monty.", "Xander: Oh. Good. (realizes) Half? You and Oz? Which half?", "Willow: (with a big smile) Wouldn't *you* like to know? Anyway, he's more manageable tonight and on the third night. Tomorrow night, the total full moon, that's when he's a real wolfer. (reaches across the table) But in case there's trouble... there won't be, but if... She holds up the dart rifle. Xander takes it from her with his right hand while still holding his things with his left, and slips his index finger into the trigger guard.", "Xander: Sleepy time. Gotcha. He holds the stock of the weapon against his shoulder.", "Willow: Thanks again for doing this. I wouldn't have asked, but I have this test.", "Xander: No big. You can count on me. (looks at his things) I got my coffee, magazines. Figured I'd read, maybe (points with the gun) run the stairs over there a little bit. (chuckles) I'm good. Willow isn't thrilled with the way he's handling the rifle, and so takes it out of his hand, giving him a nervous smile. She sets it down on the table, gives him a little wave goodbye and starts out. On the way past the cage she gives werewolf Oz a little wave, too.", "Willow: Bye. Oz raises his head and growls as he watches her go. Xander picks the book up from the table, inspects the cover and looks up at Oz. He decides to make things easy on himself. He climbs onto the table, sets the book down at one end and lies on his stomach, using the book as a pillow. He smiles as he settles himself for a relaxing nap. In the cage Oz lets out a loud growl.", "Cut to the cemetery. Faith and Buffy are strolling through on patrol.", "Faith: Nice place. Do you ever catch kids doing the diddy out here?", "Buffy: No. There's a smooch spot up by the woods. That's usually where kids go.", "Faith: Yeah? Bet you and Scott have been up there kicking the gearshift. (grins)", "Buffy: (gives her a look) Hardly. Only been on a few dates.", "Faith: But you like him. And when you think about him, you get that (inhales) good, down-low tickle, right?", "Buffy: (smiles) Yeah, I guess, but... (realizes what she may have meant, and gives her the eye) How low?", "Faith: (grins broadly) You tell me.", "Buffy: How about not? (looks around dreamily) But he is... (sighs) nice, and he's funny.", "Faith: And quite a muffin. She gives Buffy a smile. Buffy smiles back.", "Buffy: Blueberry. That crunchy, munchy stuff on top. But my most favorite thing so far (sighs) is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of Hell Beast.", "Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.", "Buffy: Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical till I was at least forty.", "Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase. Buffy has to tacitly admit that Faith may have a point.", "Cut to the woods. A boy runs through the bushes in a panic. The camera chases him, and a creature's growling and heavy breath can be heard. The boy looks back to check on his pursuer, and trips over a low branch. He rolls onto his back and tries to push himself away with his feet, but whatever is chasing him is quickly on top of him and drags him away. The boy screams loudly as he disappears from the camera's view. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. Willow, Oz and Buffy climb the outside stairs from the quad up to the balcony.", "Willow: I don't think that's true, that every guy is in it only for the chase.", "Buffy: I know. It is an awful generalization.", "Scott: Hey Buffy! She looks along the balcony to see him approaching at a quick pace. Willow gives Oz a smile.", "Scott: That's what I stopped you for, basically. Hey.", "Buffy: Okay. (smiles) Hey. Scott's friends Debbie and Pete approach the group. Oz notices them and holds up his hand in greeting. Debbie is holding a bouquet of flowers.", "Oz: How do, Debbie?", "Debbie: Hi, Oz. Hey, you're not doing jazz band this year?", "Oz: Oh, can't take the pressure. It's not the music that's hard, it's the marching.", "Buffy: We have a marching jazz band? (looks at Scott inquisitively)", "Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... Scary.", "Willow: (smiles at everyone) He's just being Oz.", "Oz: Pretty much full-time. (smiles at Willow)", "Buffy: (sees Debbie's bouquet) Those are pretty flowers.", "Debbie: Thanks. Pete brought them for me. (smiles at him)", "Pete: (smiles) Yeah. Well, I-I'm sure Scott does that kind of stuff for you, too, Buffy.", "Scott: Oh, well, we're not up to flowers. (to Buffy) Are we? Up to flowers? Did I miss flowers?", "Buffy: (reassuringly) No. We're pre-posy. Definitely. Scott nods, relieved.", "Buffy: What time is it? (grabs Scott's watch) Oh, I have to go see Mr. Platt today.", "Debbie: Platt? The school counselor?", "Buffy: I get to convince him that I'm Little Miss Stable so I can stay in school.", "Debbie: Platt creeps me out. I would totally quit going, but I'm flunking senior bio, and my teacher says I have success issues.", "(giggles)", "Oz: Senior bio? I kinda aced that final.", "Willow: (needles Oz) And how did you do that? Oh, right. You showed up.", "He takes Willow's jibes good-naturedly.", "Oz: (to Debbie) If you want my notes, they're yours.", "Debbie: Thanks! That'd be great! The bell rings.", "Buffy: We'd better go. (to Scott) I'll see you.", "Scott: Yep. They kiss lightly on the lips. Buffy turns and heads into the building. Oz gives them a wave, and he and Willow follow her. Scott gives his friends a contented look.", "Cut to Giles' office. He and Xander look up from reading an article in the paper and head out into the main area.", "Giles: We need to recheck every possible exit avenue.", "Xander: I'm telling you, it's a waste of time. I was here all night. They notice Willow and Oz coming into the library.", "Giles: Right. (smiles stiffly) It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.", "Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.", "Willow: (worried) What's the deal, Giles?", "Giles: (starts to pace) Now, uh, bear in mind, uh, most likely, there, there, there is no deal, (stops and looks at Xander) but um, if, if, if there was a deal, then it, um, would concern murder... last night. A male student was, was found i-i-in the woods.", "Willow: Which student?", "Giles: Jeff Orkin.", "Oz: Jeff? He was... He looks over at Xander. Xander looks down at the floor.", "Oz: I knew him.", "Giles: I'm afraid he was, he was, um, terribly mauled. Now, uh, much as I hate to think it, i-i-it could be the handiwork of, of...", "Oz: Me.", "Willow: (very concerned) Wolf you, not you you.", "Xander: But it's not. Not wolf you, not you you. The room was secured, the gate was locked, (heads into the cage) and the window unbreakable, and... (looks up at the window) open! He points up at it as he comes back out of the cage.", "Willow: (upset) Oh, God. Giles and Oz both go over to check the window, too.", "Xander: Not to freak. I rested my eyes now and then. That's all. Willow gives him a betrayed look.", "Giles: (looks down from the window) How long... *exactly* did you... rest your eyes for? (glares at him) Oz just stares into space, turning the implications over in his mind.", "Xander: A little now, uh, a little then. But I never heard Oz leave, and he was here in the morning when I, um... (searches for words) when", "I...", "Giles: (angrily) WOKE UP!", "Xander: You could put it that way if you want to, Mr. Technical.", "Oz walks over to Willow, looking at her sadly.", "Willow: Oh, God. She takes his hand to comfort him. He looks at Giles imploringly.", "Cut to the school psychologist's office. The door opens, and Buffy enters. She closes it behind herself and steps up to the desk. Mr. Platt is sitting in his chair facing away, looking out the window while his ever-present cigarette smolders in his fingers.", "Mr. Platt: Two o'clock. Miss Summers. He makes no move to turn around to face her.", "Buffy: (smiles) Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity. Her smiles fades when she realizes he still isn't going to turn around. Instead he just blows out a huge cloud of cigarette smoke.", "Buffy: Look... I know that I have to do this, and I-I'll cooperate, and I'll look at your ink blots and everything, but... I don't wanna talk about my life or my childhood or... anything, for that matter, actually. And, uh... I don't wanna be friends here.", "Mr. Platt: (finally turns) We're not gonna be friends. (smiles at her) You have friends already, I hope. (waves his hand at her) Friends are a good thing. (takes another drag from his cigarette) Mm-hm. (crushes it out) They like you, agree with you, tell you what you wanna hear. (reaches into his desk drawer) That's not what you need right now. (pulls out a can of deodorizer) What you need is a trained, not... *too* crazy professional who will always give you his honest opinion. He pops the top off of the aerosol can and gives a couple of sprays around himself. Buffy just gives him an odd look and says nothing.", "Mr. Platt: Which I offer. He looks back at her for a moment before gesturing to a chair.", "Mr. Platt: Have a seat. He caps the can and puts it away as she sits in the chair.", "Buffy: Not too crazy? Those are your credentials? He stands up and starts to walk around his desk.", "Mr. Platt: Look, Buffy, any person -- grownup, shrink, (sits on his desk) pope -- any person who claims to be *totally* sane is either lying or not very bright. I mean, everyone has problems. Everybody has demons, right?", "Buffy: (averts her eyes) Gotta say I'm with you on that. (looks down at her hands)", "Mr. Platt: Excellent. So, the hope I bring you is: demons can be fought. (Buffy looks up at him in surprise) People can change. *You* can change. Now. Your turn. (crosses his arms) Let's start with why you ran away. She looks up for a moment, then begins to fidget and lean back in her seat.", "Buffy: (smiles weakly) That's a long story.", "Mr. Platt: Mm. (shrugs) Bore me.", "Buffy: You know, I'm, I'm really over it. I-I'm moving on, I feel good, I'm, I'm even dating someone new.", "Mr. Platt: All good things. (gestures widely with his arms) But still, you're (inhales and leans back) you're bringing me in at the end of the movie.", "Buffy: (awkwardly) I was dating someone. Uh, it-it ended badly. My mom and I were fighting, and I... kinda freaked.", "Mr. Platt: Well, tell me more about this guy. The Bad Ending Guy. She looks up at him for a long moment before letting out a breath and looking down at her hands again.", "Buffy: He was my first... I loved him, and then he...", "Mr. Platt: ...changed. She looks up at him, surprised again.", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Mr. Platt: He got mean.", "Buffy: Yes.", "Mr. Platt: And you didn't stop loving him. Buffy doesn't know what to add or how to respond.", "Mr. Platt: Look, lots of people lose themselves in love. It's, it's no shame. They write songs about it. The hitch is, you can't stay lost. Sooner or later, you... you have to get back to yourself.", "Buffy: (considers) And if you can't?", "Mr. Platt: If you can't... (inhales) Well, love becomes your master, and you're just its dog. She didn't expect to hear it put quite that way.", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes in and finds Giles pacing and everyone else sitting on the steps and looking gloomy. She sets her bag on the table.", "Buffy: I'm afraid to ask. (crosses her arms)", "Cordelia: Oz ate someone last night.", "Willow: (glares) He did not!", "Xander: (annoyed) Oz does not eat people. (Cordelia rolls her eyes) It's more werewolf play. (Buffy looks at Giles inquiringly) You know, I bat you around a little bit, like a cat toy. I have harmless, wolf fun. Is it Oz's fault that, (Oz lowers his head) you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons, and maybe then he'll take a little nibble and... (Willow gives him a hurt look) I'm not helping, am I?", "Giles: No. Oz may have got out of his cage last night.", "Oz: Or maybe there's a, another werewolf roaming the woods.", "Giles: Perhaps. Perhaps it's something else entirely.", "Buffy: It's okay. We'll work together, and we'll figure this out.", "Giles: Yes. Um... (thinks) Buffy. Uh, you, uh, you patrol the woods. Uh, the others, um, check out the morgue.", "Willow: (hopeful) Right! We can see if it's a werewolf kill or not. (glances at Oz next to her) But what about Oz?", "Giles: Um... Well, I have some research materials at home I need to look up. Uh... W-w-we could ask Faith to watch over him. Buffy nods and looks at Oz. Oz looks up at Giles.", "Oz: What, you're having a Slayer watch me? Oh, good, we're not overreacting. He gets up to leave, not willing to listen to any more of this. Willow gives Buffy a concerned look and gets up to go after him. She reaches out and touches him on the shoulder. He stops and turns to face her. She tries to give him a reassuring smile.", "Oz: Okay. Uh, you know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation? (inhales) I have to do that. (exhales) It's kinda dramatic, I know, but... sometimes, it's a necessary guy thing.", "Willow: And I want you to... do the guy thing, but... She glances and gestures at the clock on the wall and sighs. Oz looks over at it, too. 5:34pm. Almost sunset. He looks back at her and the others, realizing this isn't the time to do the guy thing, and lets out a heavy sigh. He looks over at the cage, and reluctantly goes to lock himself up. Willow follows him. The door squeaks when he pulls it open and again as he pulls it closed. It locks shut with a clang.", "Willow: Oz?", "Oz: (unwilling to look at her) Get away from the cage.", "Willow: (confused by his tone of voice) What?", "Oz: (still not looking at her) It's gonna happen soon. Willow still won't go.", "Oz: Get away from me. He turns his back to her. Willow is hurt and confused by his behavior.", "Cut to the woods later that night. Buffy patrols through them by herself, looking around and listening carefully. The camera watches her from behind some branches. A figure quickly and silently slips in front of the camera. Buffy thinks she heard something and raises her stake. Again a figure dashes by, and this time Buffy sees it. She runs after it through the bushes. Suddenly she stops in her tracks when she sees it come straight for her. She stares in disbelief as the man rushes her and knocks her down as he runs by. Buffy steadies herself on the ground and looks up as he goes. He stops and looks back at her. It's Angel, and he growls and snarls at her. There is blood around his mouth, but he has on his human face, not his vampire's. She can only stare at him in complete surprise. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the woods. Angel continues to growl at Buffy. He charges her as she gets up. She grabs him and throws him to the ground, but also falls under his weight. Angel rolls to a stop and crawls quickly back to her before she can get back up. He lunges at her, and she uses his momentum to flip him over herself and onto his back. She rises to one knee and punches him as he tries to regain his footing. He takes the blow in the head, but just spins around and delivers a solid backhand punch to her face, making her fall onto her back. Angel jumps on her again, but she uses her leverage to send him onto his back once again. He twists his body, reaches over and punches her in the gut. She quickly rolls away and gets to a standing position. She does a full spinning low hook kick, hitting him in the head as he tries to stand. He slumps down on all fours, and as he looks up at her she punches him solidly in the face, making him slump to the ground, badly beaten. After a few breaths he loses consciousness, and his body relaxes. Buffy breathes hard as she looks down at him, still not believing what she sees.", "Cut to the morgue. A flashlight shines into a room where several bodies are lying on gurneys. Cut to an adjacent room. Willow comes in and shines her flashlight on the closed body drawers along a wall. She finds the one she wants and opens it. She pulls out the drawer and lifts the plastic sheet away from Jeff Orkin's face. She sets her metal Scooby-Doo lunch box on his chest and opens it. Behind her Xander approaches. She pulls out a plastic bag and a pair of tweezers. When Xander reaches her he takes one look at the body and nearly vomits.", "Xander: Oh, God. He bends over, holding his mouth, trying to hold it back. Willow just hands him the flashlight.", "Willow: Here. Hold this. He doesn't hold it very steadily, and Willow tries to adjust his arm as she would an unruly desk lamp. She takes Jeff's hand and tries to get a look at his fingers. Suddenly Xander spins around and shines the flashlight into Cordelia's face.", "Xander: Aah!", "Cordelia: God! Willow just reaches for Xander's hand again and pulls it around to shine the light where she needs it. It's not working out very well.", "Xander: (to Cordelia) We're doing crime here. You don't sneak up during crime. He finally gives Willow his attention again and holds the light steady.", "Cordelia: God, have a... (gets a look at Jeff's mauled body) Okay! (covers her face) Scarred for life! Oh, God! Willow just calmly goes about getting some samples from under Jeff's fingernails.", "Cordelia: Willow, how can you stand it?", "Xander: Yeah, Will. I mean, this guy *is* pretty barf-worthy. Can't we be elsewhere? Like, you know, is Oz cleared or what, huh? She's finished with Jeff's hand and puts it back under the plastic. She moves the flashlight in Xander's hand around and inspects the rest of the body.", "Willow: I'm not sure. I mean, there are a lot of incised wounds, but they could be from anything.", "Cordelia: Anything with big, sharp teeth and vicious...", "Xander: (interrupts) Do you wanna go back to the car and wait? Willow starts to pick at Jeff's chest with the tweezers.", "Cordelia: (stares, taken aback) No. God. I'm just saying...", "Willow: Almost done. Lemme just get a few stray hairs from the body. They could be from the attacker. Cordelia holds her nose against the stench.", "Xander: Great. So we got everything we need?", "Willow: Yep. That's it. She drops the tweezers and faints dead away, falling back into Xander. He quickly gets an arm under her as she goes down, and they all sink to the floor.", "Cordelia: Oh!", "Xander: Okay. Uh... little too much excitement for the Wilster here. He steadies Willow's head against his chest so it doesn't flop around.", "Xander: Doesn't look good for Oz, does it?", "Cordelia: It really doesn't. (they look up at Jeff) This guy was ripped apart by a big wild animal.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy finds Drusilla's trunk and knocks Miss Edith and the other dolls from it. She throws open the lid and dumps the contents out onto the floor. There she finds a heavy chain and shackles. Back in the main room she throws one end over an iron bracket holding up the high marble fireplace mantel and locks the shackles on Angel's wrists. She steps back as he lies unconscious on the floor, with one arm held high by the chain. He wakes up and gets to his knees. Suddenly he lashes out at her, but she jumps back in time and he misses. He leans against his bonds and growls at Buffy, then crouches down and cowers like a trapped animal. She walks around him in a wide arc and stops when she notices the place where he fell from the dimensional portal. There is a silhouette of him on the floor surrounded by scorch marks from the intense light. Angel continues to growl and struggle with the chain. Buffy cringes to see him like this. She kneels down by the silhouette for a closer look. Angel makes another attempt to grab her, and she jerks back, but he's too far away to do any harm. She looks back down at the scorch marks and winces at the sound of Angel struggling behind her. He soon stops and slumps to the floor with one arm raised high by the chain.", "Cut to the library. Werewolf Oz growls in his cage. Faith is oblivious as she moves around to the sounds of Mark Ferrari on her portable CD player. Buffy comes in behind her and taps her on the shoulder. Instinctively Faith spins around and lands a swinging backhand punch to Buffy's face.", "Buffy: Oh! She stumbles backward and steadies herself against the portable card catalog.", "Faith: Oh! Uh, Buffy! Are you okay? What are you doing here?", "Buffy: (holds her jaw) Uh, bleeding internally, but I'll live.", "Faith: God, I'm sorry. (shrugs with the CD player) I guess I didn't hear you.", "Buffy: Figured as much. Ow. Again. (takes a breath and arches her back) Uh... Actually, I-I-I came to give you the rest of the night off.", "Faith: Get out of jail free, huh? How come?", "Buffy: (shrugs) Couldn't sleep. (takes off her jacket) Figured I'd, uh, cram for my French test.", "Faith: That's cool. I was going kinda crazy in here, but I can get in a few stakings before sunrise. She heads for the door, handing Buffy the keys to the cage on the way. Buffy follows her with her gaze.", "Buffy: Knock yourself out. Not literally, though.", "Faith: Yeah. Later. The door can be heard closing behind her. Buffy looks at Oz for a moment, then turns her attention to the card catalog. She sets the keys on it, pulls out the first drawer and begins to search through them.", "Cut to morning. Sunlight pours in through the cage window and down on Oz lying there naked. The camera pans up to Giles arriving with a cup of coffee in his hand. He looks down at Oz to make sure he's not a wolf, unlocks the door and pulls it slightly open. He takes a sip from his cup and heads over to where he sees Buffy in the stacks curled up and asleep in a chair with a book on her lap and a drawer from the card catalog next to her on a stepstool. Other books are lying on the floor around her. He quietly takes the steps to the upper level and reaches down for one of the books. As he does so Buffy stirs from her slumber and looks up at him.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Giles: Hmm. Hello. (sips his coffee) Buffy quickly realizes what it must look like, her surrounded by all these books, and tries to play it off.", "Buffy: Oh. Boy. (stands up) Faith and her nutty books.", "Giles: (reads some book titles) 'Exploring Demon Dimensions' and 'Mystery of Acathla'.", "Buffy: Yeah! And she still listens to heavy metal. (walks toward the stairs) Freaky deaky.", "Giles: Buffy... She realizes that he hasn't bought it and leans against the railing. He gives her his attention and slowly comes over to her as she speaks.", "Buffy: What if... I told you that... I had a dream about Angel... and, um... it brought up some questions?", "Giles: I'd say it was to be expected. Must have been some dream. I didn't think you knew what a card index was for. (sips his coffee)", "Buffy: I dreamt that he came back. She sits down on the steps. Giles comes down to sit with her.", "Giles: Of course. After Jenny was killed, (sets the cup aside) I had dreams that she was s-still alive, that I saved her.", "Buffy: This was vivid. Really vivid. Three-dimensional, sensurround, the hills are alive... She stops when she realizes her use of Jenny's metaphor. Giles takes off his glasses and considers for a moment.", "Giles: Do you believe it was a prophecy?", "Buffy: No. I-I don't know. I... (inhales deeply) I guess it just... it made me wonder. Giles looks away in thought.", "Buffy: Is there a chance even? Could it happen?", "Giles: Well, there's no record of anyone returning from a demon dimension once the... gate was closed. I-I-I can't imagine how it could happen or-or why.", "Buffy: Let's just pretend for a second that... Angel somehow found his way back to Sunnydale. What would he be like?", "Giles: I really can't say. From what is known about that dimension, i- it would suggest a world of... brutal torment. And time moves quite differently there, so...", "Buffy: I remember. So he would've been down there for hundreds of years.", "Giles: Yes. (looks up at her)", "Buffy: Of torture.", "Giles: It would take someone of extraordinary... will and character to survive that and, uh, retain any semblance of self. (swallows hard) Most likely, he'd be, be a monster.", "Buffy: (hopelessly) A lost cause.", "Giles: Maybe. Maybe not. In my experience, there are... two types of monster. The first, uh, can be redeemed, or more importantly, wants to be redeemed.", "Buffy: And the second type?", "Giles: The second is void of humanity, cannot respond to reason... or love. Willow shows up unexpectedly, bringing a box of donuts with her.", "Willow: I thought Faith was on duty.", "Buffy: Oh, hey. Change of plans. (comes down to her)", "Willow: Glazed or cake? (smiles) It's fun to watch them make them. (gestures) They use this spritzy thing, and they drop the batter into this...", "Buffy: Couldn't sleep, huh?", "Willow: (sighs) I've been at Mister Donut since the TV did that snowy thing. Behind her Oz has dressed and comes out of the cage.", "Willow: How come *you're* the Wakey Girl? I mean, this time, it's not your boyfriend who's the cold-blooded... She notices Buffy look behind her with wide eyes. Oz slips on his outer shirt and comes up next to her.", "Willow: Jelly doughnut? (offers the box)", "Oz: (ignores the donuts) Everything all right?", "Buffy: Yeah. Uh, what happened with the inspection of the body?", "Willow: (smiles, avoiding the issue) Anyone? They're yummy delicious!", "Buffy: Willow, come on. Was it werewolf? Willow sets the box down on the table. Her expression shows that she's not overly anxious to say.", "Buffy: Was it a vampire?", "Willow: I-it wasn't conclusive.", "Buffy: How could it not be conclusive? What did it look like? Was he bit?", "Giles: Let her finish, Buffy.", "Buffy: (looks back at him) No, it's just... She realizes the sensitivity of the issue with Oz standing right there.", "Buffy: I'm sorry. She sits down. Giles just calmly waits for Willow to finish her report.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy has a plate of various flavors of Jell-O, and looks for a place to sit. Scott waves to her.", "Scott: Buffy. Over here. She comes over to him sitting with Debbie and Pete, and sets down her plate.", "Buffy: Hey. Scott sees what's on her plate.", "Scott: Hey. Uh... I can't, I can't back you on that lunch. Nutritional demerits.", "Buffy: Oh. My stomach doesn't want hard food today. (points at the green Jell-O) But there's fruit in it.", "Scott: (whispers) Those are marshmallows.", "Buffy: (looks at it) Oh. Debbie and Pete give her curious looks. Buffy sighs.", "Buffy: I'm... I'm really out of it today. I didn't sleep well last night.", "Debbie: Just don't tell Mr. Platt you have insomnia. He'll make you start a dream journal.", "Pete: Oh, what's that, like, a Barbie thing? Dear Dream Journal, how come Ken hasn't come around since he got that earring?", "Debbie: (giggles) I never did it. He's a quack.", "Buffy: I kinda liked him.", "Debbie: Really? I guess, I guess he's kinda funny and stuff. It's just... sometimes I just don't like the things he says.", "Buffy: Oh, he definitely... marches to the beat of his own drummer. A- actually, I think he makes his own drums.", "Scott: Well, my mom says that therapy can be completely helpful.", "Pete: Yeah, but your mom has the wattage of a Zippo lighter, Scott. Debbie can't resist a giggle.", "Scott: (to Buffy) I hope you realize I don't actually know these people. I just... I thought you would like me better if I had friends, so I hired them. Buffy gives him a weak smile. He turns to face her completely.", "Scott: So... I, uh, I wanted to tell you that you look great today. But now I wanna raise that to amazing because you didn't sleep well.", "Buffy: Uh... (smiles) That's really sweet. Um... And I-I wish I didn't have to, (stands up) but I just remembered that I do, so, uh, I'll see you later. She pats him on the shoulder as she walks around him on the way out, leaving her Jell-O behind.", "Scott: Uh, yeah. Debbie and Pete follow her briefly with their gazes.", "Pete: Check out Scotty liking the manic-depressive chick. Scott isn't too pleased with that comment.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of the cafeteria and pauses for a moment to reflect on Pete's comment before continuing down the hall.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy comes in through the heavy drapes hanging across the side entrance. Angel crouches against the wall, whimpering. Buffy stops at the wall opposite him and looks at him suffering. Slowly she comes toward him. Angel just remains hunched over in his crouch, not looking up or giving any indication that he knows she's there.", "Buffy: Angel? He doesn't seem to hear her.", "Buffy: Do you understand me? Still nothing from him. She comes even closer. The tattoo on his back beckons to her. Slowly she reaches out and touches him lightly on the shoulder. He suddenly and very violently lashes out at her and roars. She instantly takes several steps backward away from him. He goes back to his pathetic whimpering. Buffy looks at him, terribly hurt, and rushes from the mansion. Angel growls deeply at her. Above him the mantel bracket begins to loosen. Dust falls from the stone as he pulls against the chain.", "Cut to the school. Cut to Pete and Debbie walking along a back hall.", "Pete: Debbie, come on. Just for a minute. He takes both of her hands and tries to nudge her against the wall, but she evades him and pulls away.", "Debbie: No, I can't. I have to meet a friend. He pulls her back to him by both wrists.", "Pete: So you'll be late but happy. He kisses her and reaches behind him with one hand to open a door. He backs into the dark supply room pulling her in with him. Debbie giggles, and once inside he pulls her close and they embrace and kiss passionately. Pete breaks off the kiss and backs away toward a shelf.", "Debbie: No, no. Let's stay here.", "Pete: Relax, Debbie. What's wrong with you today? He takes her in his arms again and kisses her some more. After a moment he notices an empty jar on the shelf. All that's left in it is the last few drops of a green fluorescent fluid.", "Pete: What is that? She turns his face to hers and tries to kiss him again.", "Debbie: (giggles) Nothing. Kiss me. (kisses him)", "Pete: No. Debbie, you did not drink that, did you?", "Debbie: (looks at the jar) Drink it? (giggles) You know I didn't.", "Pete: (looks intensely at her) Debbie, what's going on? Her giddiness fades, and she looks back nervously.", "Cut to Mr. Platt's office. Buffy opens the door, comes in and closes it behind her. She finds him turned away again, looking out of the window, his signature cigarette smoldering between his fingers.", "Buffy: Two o'clock. Buffy Summers, right? She fears he'll turn around again and, although he can't see her, she extends her arm in a gesture to stop him.", "Buffy: Wait. Don't turn around. (realizes her useless gesture) Okay? And don't say anything. (clutches her jacket) Just listen. (begins to pace and breathe nervously) I mean, that's, that's your thing, right? She stops pacing and stands behind a chair, shifting her weight from leg to leg and fidgeting with her jacket against the chair's backrest.", "Buffy: There's something going on. (her voice shakes) I mean, th-this whole entire story is probably gonna convince you that I'm loony-bin material, but... (shrugs) there's nobody else that I can talk to.", "(inhales nervously) Not Willow and... not Giles. Nobody. (starts to pace again) If they, if they found out, they'd freak on me or they'd do something, and... (stops and faces him) I need help. I just, I need to talk to someone. (takes a few breaths) I'm so scared. (sheds a tear)", "It's this guy. (steps up to the desk) H-h-he... She notices his cigarette now. It's burned completely down to the filter, not once having had the ashes tapped off. She realizes that something is very wrong.", "Buffy: He's come back. The camera pans over from her to Mr. Platt, sitting dead in his chair. His face and chest have been severely mauled.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The supply room. Pete is seething with anger. He goes over to the empty bottle and picks it up.", "Pete: So the bottle just (faces Debbie) jumped out of the cabinet and spilled on its own.", "Debbie: (shakes her head) Of course not. I-I was trying to get rid of it.", "Pete: You were trying to get rid of it?", "Debbie: To help you. You know how you get.", "Pete: (exhales) You think this has (clenches his fist) *anything* to do with how I get?", "Debbie: Well, when you drink it...", "Pete: When I drink it, nothing, Debbie. Nothing! (Debbie flinches) I don't need this anymore, okay? I am way, *way* past that now. He slams the bottle back onto the shelf.", "Pete: You see? He takes another bottle down and throws it to the floor, breaking it.", "Pete: You see?! (breaks another) No more. (breaks a third) You could pour out everything I made, and it wouldn't help. And you wanna know why? He grabs her by the arms. She whimpers in fright.", "Pete: You wanna know why?! Because all it takes now is you, Debbie. (grits his teeth) You and your STUPID, GRATING VOICE! His neck muscles suddenly become tense, and he yells out in pain. He grunts as his head jerks back and forth, and the skin on his face and neck begins to thicken, and the veins bulge out. He screams as his head whips around violently. Debbie watches in terror. With a final scream his transformation to his alter ego is complete. His face is mottled and grotesquely misshapen. Debbie is too frightened to even breathe. Pete shakes her by the arms.", "Pete: (angrily) *You're* the reason I started the formulas in the first place: to be the man you wanted! And you pay me back how? (Debbie sobs in fear) By whoring around with other guys and taunting me!", "Debbie: No! I don't! I don't even look! Pete backhand punches her in the face and shoves her to the floor. She gets to her hands and knees and crawls around to face him. Slowly she stands back up.", "Pete: Is that something your shrink taught you, Debbie? Huh? Huh? To share? (approaches her) To communicate? To piss me off?! He swings another backhand punch at her, and she falls to the floor again. This time she stays down and cowers.", "Pete: Well, guess what? Even *he's* not going to listen to your pathetic ramblings anymore. (she looks up at him frightened) I'm all you've got now, Debbie! Do you hear me? (points at her) I AM ALL YOU'VE", "GOT!", "She looks up at him, very afraid, and pushes herself up against a crate. Pete suddenly realizes what he's doing, and calms down a bit. He looks down at his gnarled hands, then back at Debbie.", "Pete: Oh, my God. He has calmed enough now that he changes back to his regular self. He sees her sobbing, and looks at her remorsefully. He quickly gets down and kneels by her.", "Pete: (whispering) Hey, Debbie. (she turns away) Hey, listen. (quietly) You know you shouldn't make me mad. Huh? You know what happens. He takes her head in his hands and turns her to face him.", "Pete: Debbie, please. Are you all right? He kisses her forehead. She responds and puts her arms around his head. She strokes his hair as they hold each other tightly.", "Debbie: It's okay. She keeps petting him gently, her own breathing becoming calmer.", "Debbie: It's okay.", "Cut to the library. Giles paces and talks while Buffy, Faith and Willow listen.", "Giles: This creature is especially brutal. I believe the phrase coined by the coroner when describing Mr. Platt was 'pureed'. But he did confirm that Platt was killed shortly before Buffy found him.", "Faith: Which means that he was killed during the day.", "Willow: (elated) Yes! (raises her fist) They all give her looks.", "Willow: Sorry. I got... (lowers her hand) I've just been... it's horrible, horrible. (swallows)", "Buffy: It's okay, Will. We're all glad Oz is off the hook.", "Giles: Indeed. (checks his watch) Shouldn't he be here by now? The sun sets at 5:30.", "Cut to the quad. Oz looks around one last time and starts to head for the library. Just then Debbie comes running.", "Debbie: Sorry I'm late. (smiles) Did you bring the notes?", "Oz: (notices her black eye) Yeah. Um... You okay? (hands her the notes)", "Debbie: What? Oh, yeah! (laughs) I'm such a klutz! I, um, oh...", "Oz: Fell down? Hit your... eye? Pete watches them from around a corner.", "Debbie: Doorknob. (laughs) Um... Thanks. (starts to go)", "Oz: (stops her with his hand) Hey, um... (concerned) If you wanna talk...", "Debbie: (shakes her head and smiles) Thanks again for the notes.", "(leaves)", "Oz: Yeah...", "He looks up at the sky again and quickly heads for the library. Pete turns around and stalks off.", "Cut to the library.", "Giles: Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we *are* dealing with. Clearly, we're looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.", "Oz: (comes in) Present. Willow smiles, jumps up and goes over to him, pushing Giles aside in her eagerness to reach him.", "Oz: Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.", "Willow: (touches him with both hands, smiling) But you aren't! I-i- it's-it's a kill-in-the-day monster! A hundred percent for sure.", "Oz: (very relieved) Okay. (smiles) Willow puts her arm around him and faces the group along with him, smiling.", "Giles: Uh, I wish we had time to celebrate properly. However, we have two victims: Jeff Orkin and, uh, now Platt. Uh, maybe there's something they had in common.", "Faith: Missing internal organs.", "Giles: Besides that.", "Oz: Debbie. (Giles looks at him) Well, victim number one, Jeff. He was in jazz band with us. They used to horse around.", "Faith: They were screwing? They all give her a look.", "Oz: I don't think so, but he hid her music comp book once.", "Buffy: And we know that Debbie knew Platt. I mean, she was seeing him and way vocal about not having love for the guy.", "Oz: Add this and stir. I just saw Debbie a minute ago sporting a nasty black eye.", "Willow: Okay, so pretend Debbie wanted Platt dead. Maybe he fought back.", "Buffy: (shakes her head) No. Platt was dead in an instant. (exhales) He didn't even drop his cigarette. (has a thought) Now, what if boyfriend Pete's the one doling out the punishment?", "Giles: We should find them both immediately. He and Buffy grab their coats.", "Oz: Well, Debbie was in the quad a minute ago.", "Giles: All right. We'll split up. Um, Faith, you and I team. Willow, stick with Buffy. Willow gives Oz a saddened look and follows the others out.", "Oz: And I'll... go lock myself in the cage.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. Debbie is trying to hide her black eye with makeup. The door opens behind her, and Buffy and Willow enter. Debbie just keeps on applying makeup.", "Buffy: It's tricky, covering a fresh shiner like that. You know what works?", "Debbie: What? (puts away her makeup)", "Buffy: Don't get hit. She walks up to Debbie at the mirror.", "Buffy: What's going on, Debbie? I'll bet the farm you know.", "Debbie: (shakes her head) You're wrong. I don't know anything.", "Buffy: Normally, I'd say, you wanna play 'I have a secret'? Fine. But people are dying here. Debbie looks at her and Willow.", "Debbie: It... it's not his fault. I mean, he's not himself when he gets like this.", "Buffy: You mean Pete.", "Debbie: (upset) It's me. I make him crazy. He-he just does what he does because he loves me too much.", "Willow: But weren't Mr. Platt and Jeff murdered by an animal?", "Buffy: Pete's not like other guys, is he, Debbie? Debbie realizes they know more than they are letting on.", "Debbie: I-I've gotta go. She grabs her purse and starts to leave. Buffy takes her by the arm and stops her.", "Buffy: You have to talk to us. (Debbie shakes her head) We can't help you until you do.", "Debbie: I didn't ask for your help!", "Willow: Well, when are you going to? I mean, if Pete kills you, it'll pretty much be too late.", "Buffy: Debbie, we're running out of time.", "Cut to the mansion. Angel struggles with the chain. He yanks at it with all of his weight. The bracket pulls free of the wall and crashes to the floor. Angel falls roughly onto his hands and knees. He quickly gets up, pulls the chain free of the bracket and runs out of the mansion.", "Cut to the locker room.", "Buffy: Where can we find him?", "Debbie: I-I don't know.", "Buffy: You're lying.", "Debbie: What if I am? What are you gonna do about it?", "Willow: Wrong question. Buffy takes her by the arm again and pushes her up against the sink in front of the mirror.", "Buffy: Look at yourself. Why are you protecting him? Anybody who really loved you couldn't do this to you. She takes a few steps away. Debbie turns around to face them.", "Debbie: Would they take him someplace?", "Buffy: Probably.", "Debbie: (shakes her head, sobbing) I could never do that to him. (Willow sighs) I'm his everything.", "Buffy: (disgusted) Great. So what, you two live out your Grimm fairy tale? Two people are dead. Debbie just shakes her head and says nothing.", "Buffy: Who's gonna be next?", "Cut to the library. Oz is alone in the cage, pacing, waiting to change. The door opens, and Pete comes in and goes right up to the cage.", "Pete: (angry) Since when do you touch my girl? (grabs the cage)", "Oz: Hey, Pete. This is kind of a bad time.", "Pete: Well, I guess you didn't think about that when you put the moves on Debbie! (rattles the door) Oz glances up at the window to see if the sun has set yet.", "Oz: We talked, yeah, but it was move-free. Pete rattles the cage hard.", "Oz: About this cage? When that sun sets...", "Pete: (whispers threateningly) You won't be alive to see it! He rattles the cage again and steps back from it, seething with anger.", "Oz: I'm serious. Something's gonna happen that you... probably won't believe. Pete screams as his head whips around and he transforms into his alter ego again. He looks at Oz with murder in his eyes when the change is complete. Oz is amazed, and takes a step backward.", "Oz: Or you might. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Pete lunges at the cage and grabs the door. He yanks at it a few times, and it suddenly breaks free. He throws it aside and roars at Oz. He runs into the cage, grabs Oz and throws him out the door and to the floor.", "Cut to the girls' locker room. Debbie is sitting on a changing bench, hugging herself and looking off into space, chanting repeatedly.", "Debbie: He does love me. He does love me.", "Buffy: This is useless. (exhales) We have to go. I have to find Pete.", "Debbie: He does love me. Willow tries to get Debbie to stand up and go with her.", "Willow: Come on.", "Debbie: (resists) He does love me.", "Willow: I think we broke her.", "Debbie: He does love me. He does love me.", "Buffy: (stops at the door) I think she was broken before this. (leaves)", "Cut to the library. Pete heaves Oz up over his head and down onto the table. It smashes under the strain of the impact, and Pete falls on top of Oz because he didn't think to let go of him. He scrambles to his feet, pulls Oz up and punches him hard in the face. He grabs Oz by the shoulders and shakes him hard.", "Pete: (very angrily) Did you kiss that whore? Huh? Did she like it? He heaves Oz overhead again and onto the stairs. Oz slides down them and turns around at the base. Pete attacks him, but Oz gets his leg up in time to stop him, and push kicks him off. Pete goes sliding across the floor. Oz looks through one of the arched windows at the sky as he gets up and sees that the sun has set. He looks over at Pete, who is just now recovering from his fall.", "Oz: Time's up. Rules change. Oz morphs into a werewolf and growls, baring his teeth at Pete. He leaps onto Pete, and they start to wrestle on the floor. Oz tries to bite Pete, but can't, so he kicks him away. Pete scrambles to his feet and backhand punches Oz as he attacks again. Oz isn't fazed, and he leaps onto Pete again, and they crash into the stairs. This time Oz has Pete's arm, and he bites hard, making Pete scream out in agony.", "Cut to the halls, Buffy, Debbie and Willow hear the scream and begin running to the library. Giles and Faith come running also from another hall.", "Giles: What was that?", "Cut to the library. They all come barging in. Giles looks at the cage and sees it open. Then he sees the two of them fighting on the stairs. Oz has his jaw clamped hard on Pete's arm, and Pete repeatedly punches him in the gut.", "Giles: Get the dart gun! Buffy reaches behind the counter and grabs the dart rifle.", "Buffy: Got it! She cocks it and takes aim past Giles. Debbie shoves Buffy aside to protect her boyfriend.", "Debbie: Pete, watch out! The gun goes off, and the dart hits Giles in the hip.", "Giles: Ow! Pete finally manages to flip Oz over onto the floor and get free of his jaws. Buffy can't believe she shot Giles.", "Buffy: Oh! Sorry!", "Giles: Oh, right. Bloody priceless. The drug takes effect quickly, and Giles staggers and falls to the floor, pushing a table into Oz as he tries to get away. Oz runs through the door to behind the counter, leaps over it and runs out of the library. Buffy tries to take aim but can't get a clear shot. Buffy tosses the rifle to Faith.", "Buffy: You get the wolf!", "Faith: Got it! She runs out of the library with Willow close behind. Debbie turns and runs up the left-hand set of stairs to escape out through the stacks. Buffy runs toward Pete on the right-hand set of stairs. She stops halfway up to deliver a roundhouse kick to his head. He stumbles up the stairs and onto the upper lever floor. Buffy pursues him as he gets to his feet. She punches him with a right followed by a left. He staggers over to the side of a bookcase, grabs it and shoves it over onto her. It lands on top of her with a loud thud, dumping its contents all around her. Pete roars and runs from the library.", "Cut to the halls. Pete comes running through a set of doors and clutches at his wounded arm. He looks back, expecting pursuers, then looks around frantically for an escape route. He runs around a corner just as Buffy comes running through the doors also. Cut to another part of the halls. Pete comes running around another corner and stops, again looking for a way out. He spots a high window above a bank of lockers down an adjacent hall, leaps on top of them, pushes the window open and crawls through, leaving streaks of blood from his wound on the wall. Buffy reaches the hall intersection and doesn't see him in any direction.", "Cut to elsewhere in the halls. Werewolf Oz comes bounding around a corner and runs down the hall past the camera. Faith and Willow are right behind him in hot pursuit.", "Cut to the supply room. Debbie is sitting on the floor leaning against a crate, waiting for Pete to show up. He comes in the door, and she jumps up and runs over to him.", "Debbie: Pete! You're all right! God, you're all right. She throws her arms around him and hugs him close, but he doesn't hug her back.", "Debbie: She almost shot you. Did you see? I stopped her. She lets go of her hug and looks at him.", "Debbie: You have to leave, get out of Sunnydale. She knows.", "Pete: How did she know, Debbie? Did you run your big mouth?", "Debbie: (frightened) No! She just knew. It seemed like she just knew.", "Pete: So you filled in the blanks! He shoves her to the floor.", "Debbie: (screams) NO! (looks up at him) No!", "Pete: But what did I expect from a screw-up like you?", "Debbie: (Shakes her head) I-I didn't... Pete...", "Pete: You're nothing but a waste of space. He moves to grab her.", "Debbie: No!", "Cut to the halls. Buffy looks up and sees the blood streaks around the high window.", "Cut to the stairs by the lounge. Oz comes leaping down and stops by the vending machine. Faith rushes down after him. He jumps on her, and she drops the gun as she's pulled down to the floor. Behind her Willow screams. Cut outside. Buffy crawls out through the window onto a roof. She steps to the edge, looks down and jumps. She looks around, and behind her through another window notices a lamp swinging from the ceiling. She rushes over to the door and forces it open. Inside it seems quiet. She looks around and soon finds Debbie lying dead on the floor behind a rack.", "Buffy: Oh, God. She bends down to check her pulse. Pete grunts and grabs her from behind. He throws her against some crates, and she hits the floor, dazed. Pete smiles as he comes for her.", "Cut to the lounge. Faith struggles to keep Oz at bay and not get bitten. The rifle is under her legs, and she can't see it.", "Faith: Where's the gun? (screams) WHERE'S THE GUN?! Willow gets behind Oz and yanks his tail.", "Willow: Get off her! She starts to run down the hall. Oz releases Faith and starts to run after her.", "Willow: Get the gun! Get the gun! Faith scrambles to her feet with the rifle.", "Willow: Hurry! Faith takes aim and shoots, hitting Oz in the butt. He yelps and whimpers for a moment, then falls unconscious.", "Cut to the supply room. Pete grabs Buffy by the arm and backhand punches her.", "Pete: All the same! (punches again) You're all the same! He backhand punches a third time, and she falls from his grip. As he advances on her, she push kicks him off and away from her into a stack of crates. Behind her the door opens, and she looks back to see Angel standing there in his game face. He roars deeply and attacks Pete. Pete comes to meet him. Angel swings his chains at him and gets him in the face. He swings the chains the other way and gets Pete in the face again. Pete lunges at Angel and bends him backward over a crate with his hands around Angel's throat. Buffy stands up and steps back, watching them fight. Pete pulls Angel up from the crate and throws him to the floor. Then he turns his attention back on Buffy and starts to advance on her. Behind him Angel gets up and comes at him, wrapping the chains around his neck. He lifts Pete over his back and slams him down on the floor. Angel pulls at the chain, choking Pete. Buffy winces when she sees. Angel gives Pete's neck a twist and breaks it. He lets go, and Pete falls dead to the floor. Angel looks down at his kill, and begins to calm down. Pete has changed back to his normal state. Angel breathes heavily as he looks up and over at Buffy. They just stare at each other for a moment while Angel catches his breath. He slowly starts to go to her, and changes to his human face. He stops in front of her. She looks up at him, not knowing what to expect. After a long and intense look he finally speaks.", "Angel: Buffy? He falls to his knees and holds her tightly. Buffy is surprised by this turn of events and isn't sure what to do. Angel just keeps holding her even tighter and starts to sob into her jacket.", "Angel: Buffy... She finally seems to accept that he's back and sheds a few tears. Her head and heart are too heavy with thoughts and emotions for her to speak. The camera cuts to a shot of them from a distance, with Pete lying to one side and Debbie in the foreground.", "Cut to the quad the next day. The group comes walking along the colonnade. Willow and Oz hold hands as do Xander and Cordelia.", "Willow: It's all over school, what happened with Debbie and Pete. Except for the Pete-was-a-monster part.", "Oz: Yeah. A freshman told me that Pete had eight iced cafe' mochas and just lost it.", "Buffy: That's better than the estrogen theory. I heard he took all of his mother's birth control pills.", "Cordelia: He didn't? (to Xander) Pete was a monster? (Xander nods) Where have I been?", "Xander: In your special place, Cor, which is why I adore you.", "Cordelia: So, what's the true story? What happened?", "Willow: Well, we got ahold of, uh, Pete's lab books and stuff, and Mr. Science was doing a Jekyll/Hyde deal. He was afraid Debbie was gonna leave him, so he mixed this potion to become super mas macho.", "Buffy: The only thing was, after a while, he didn't need the potion to turn into a bad guy. He did it just fine on his own.", "Cordelia: So it was like a real killing. He wasn't under the influence of anything?", "Buffy: Just himself. She sees Scott sitting by himself.", "Buffy: Uh... (to the group) I'll see you guys later. (walks off)", "Cordelia: Great. Now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day. Xander raises his eyebrows at Willow, and follows Cordelia. Willow and Oz stay to see how it goes between Buffy and Scott. Cut to Scott. Buffy walks up and sits down next to him.", "Buffy: I don't know what to say that's (inhales) not gonna sound stupid or obvious.", "Scott: I've been friends with them both since before we started school.", "Buffy: Is there anything I can do? He looks at her for a long moment.", "Scott: Thanks. I'm gonna be okay. It's just that you never really know what's going on inside somebody. Do you? I mean, you think... if you care about them... But you never really do.", "Cut to the woods at night. The camera moves among the trees and bushes, low to the ground in slow motion. Buffy narrates again from 'Call of the Wild'.", "Buffy: 'Night came on, and a full moon rose high over the trees...'", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy watches as Angel lies asleep on the floor.", "Buffy: '...lighting the land till it lay bathed in ghostly day. And the strain of the primitive remained alive and active.'", "Cut to her. The camera closes in on her.", "Buffy: 'Faithfulness and devotion, things born of fire and roof were his...'", "Cut to Angel. He moves slightly, and his face contorts in anguish and pain as he dreams.", "Buffy: '...yet he retained his wildness and wiliness.'", "Cut to Buffy. She is sitting on the floor leaning against the wall, watching him sleep and contemplating her life.", "Buffy: 'And from the depths of the forest, a call still sounded.'" ]

[ "Buffy and Cordelia compete for Homecoming Queen while Mr. Trick organizes SlayerFest '98. Willow and Xander kiss, although each is seeing someone else. Unknown to SlayerFest personnel, Cordelia changes places with Faith. Buffy and Cordy reconcile while trying to defeat Mr. Trick's contestants." ]

[ "Prologue: The Bronze. Buffy, Willow and Oz are sitting at a bar, nursing sodas and snacks. Buffy seems preoccupied as she idly plays with a cookie. Cordelia and Xander walk behind them and take a place at the end of the bar.", "Cordelia: I think we should get a limo.", "Xander: A limo?", "Cordelia: Yeah!", "Xander: A big, expensive limo?", "Willow: That sounds like fun! And it is our last Homecoming Dance, so maybe we should make a big deal of it.", "Xander: You wanna talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people. Cordelia gives the others a disbelieving look.", "Xander: Back me up here, Oz.", "Oz: Well, if it's a dollar issue, we could all take my van.", "Cordelia: Van? The Homecoming Queen doesn't go to the dance in a van. Use your head. Willow rolls her eyes.", "Xander: (to Cordelia) Well, technically, you haven't been elected yet... (gets a look from her) Although you certainly and without a doubt will be. (to the others) Who else likes a limo?", "Willow: (smiles) A private limo! It, it is pretty... (nudges up to Oz) cuddlesome. (looks toward Buffy) And if we all split the cost...", "Buffy: (comes out of her reverie) Um... maybe. You know, if I go and all.", "Willow: Why wouldn't you go? You already have your tickets. (Scott approaches) I mean, unless you don't have a da... (notices Scott) ...ay o-or two to think about it. We should all think about it. She hopes she hasn't messed anything up for Buffy with Scott standing right there. Oz gives a little smirk behind her.", "Cordelia: (confused) What's going on here? Did Scott not ask her to the Homecoming Dance yet?", "Buffy: (embarrassed) Thanks, Cordelia. Humiliation's really good for my color.", "Scott: (unsure) Oh, um... well, no. I just... I assumed that you would think it was corny or something, but I-I'm in... I mean, you know, if you are, if you want to.", "Buffy: Uh, sure... I do. You know, i-if you want to.", "Scott: Well, I do if you want to. Willow smiles widely.", "Oz: (smiles) The judges will accept that as a 'yes'.", "Scott: (to Buffy) Do you want me to get you another drink?", "Buffy: Um... no, actually. Uh... I-I'm a little tired. I think I'm gonna call it a night. But I'm excited about the dance. (smiles)", "Scott: Me, too. Buffy leans toward him, tugs gently on his jacket and they kiss.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Cut inside. There is a fire going in the fireplace. Angel walks past it, and the camera follows him. He is shivering from the cold. He stops and paces back. He turns to go back again, but is startled by some rustling in the atrium. Slowly he walks to the doorway. He quickly whips the drapes aside, and there he finds Buffy, holding a small paper bag. He jumps back a little, startled.", "Buffy: I-it's just me. (holds out the bag) Here. Angel takes the bag and opens it as he walks back into the room. Buffy follows him in, but keeps her distance. Angel remains faced away from her. He pulls a quart-sized clear plastic container out of the bag. It's filled with blood. Angel lifts it to his nose and sniffs.", "Buffy: How are you feeling? Angel jerks his head away slightly from the tub of blood, then lowers it to take off the lid.", "Angel: It hurts... less.", "Buffy: Good. She is unsure how to continue. She turns around and takes a few steps away before facing him again.", "Buffy: I haven't... told Giles and the others that... you're back.", "Angel: (quietly) Giles... He remains faced away from her.", "Buffy: And I'm not going to. They wouldn't understand that you're... better. A-a-and I'm gonna keep helping you get better. It's just that everything's different now. I'm a senior. I'm really working harder in school. (smirks slightly) I'm even thinking about college. A-and I'm involved with someone. This causes Angel to turn around and give her a surprised look. Buffy startles and takes a step back. He reaches out and straightens the lapel of her leather jacket. Buffy takes it from him, and he lets go. He turns away again, wincing from his body aches as he does so.", "Buffy: His name is Scott. He's a nice, solid guy. He makes me happy...", "and that's what I need: someone I can count on. The camera suddenly pans quickly to the left, blurring the picture, and comes to a stop on Scott at an outside hall at school the next day.", "Scott: I don't think we should see each other anymore.", "Buffy: (taken aback) You don't? (confused) When did this happen? Where was I?", "Scott: Buffy, it's just... Before we were going out, you, you seemed so... full of life, like a force of nature. Now you just seem distracted all the time, and...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Yeah, I know, it's... I'm getting better. Honest. In fact, from here on, you are gonna see a drastic distraction reduction. Scott doesn't react at all to her attempt at a joke.", "Buffy: 'Drastic distraction reduction.' Try saying that ten times fast.", "Scott: I'm really sorry. He starts walking away sadly. Buffy just watches him go as the camera pulls back from her.", "Cut to a view of her through a pair of binoculars. She is still watching Scott walk away. Cut to a van with darkly tinted windows in a parking lot. The camera closes in on it. Cut inside the van. The man looking through the binoculars lowers them and stares intensely out of the window. Behind him another man steps around him, also looking out the window. The first man raises the binoculars back to his eyes, and the second man attaches a digital video feed to it. Behind them the binocular's view of Buffy appears on three small screens. The second man reaches over to a modem set up below the monitors. It is attached to a cell phone, which he opens, and he presses a button to establish a connection. The speed dial sends the tones out in a split second.", "Cut to a similar modem in a dark office. The tones and screeches of the connection protocol quickly establish a link. The camera pans up and back until we see an old man in a wheelchair roll up to the desk by the keyboard of the computer connected to the modem. He hits a few keys and looks up at the monitor.", "Boss: Is that her?", "Trick: (steps into view) In the nubile flesh, my friend. The camera shows a view of Buffy on the monitor as she walks slowly and sadly.", "Trick: That's the target. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale City Hall. Cut inside. Deputy Mayor Allan Finch is waiting nervously outside of Mayor Wilkins' office.", "Secretary: The Mayor will see you now. Allan takes a deep breath to compose himself, and heads for the Mayor's door. Cut inside the office. Allan opens the door and steps in holding a folder in his hand. He glances at the Mayor's desk, but doesn't see him there. He turns his head and sees him coming out of his private washroom. The Mayor's hands come into the camera's view as he vigorously dries them off.", "Allan: I'm sorry to bother you, sir. (closes the door behind him)", "Mayor Wilkins: I'm not bothered, Allan. (goes to his desk)", "Allan: (steps toward the desk) Well, I-I'm not sure how serious this is, but, uh, (opens the folder) they were spotted in town three days ago. (lays the open folder on the desk) I've just been informed. Frederick and Hans Gruenstahler, uh, (the Mayor picks up a copy of the Interpol warrant) wanted in Germany for capital murder, terrorism, uh, (the Mayor sniffs the paper) the bombing of Flight 1402... Uh, I should have brought it to your attention sooner, but I'd, I'd wanted to... (flustered by the Mayor's sniffing) confirm... The Mayor takes another sniff.", "Mayor Wilkins: Would you show me your hands, please?", "Allan: (raises his eyebrows) Sir?", "Mayor Wilkins: (insistently) Your hands. He puts the warrant back down, pushes the file aside and indicates that Allan should put his hands on the desk. Allan holds out his hands and slowly leans over, placing them flat on the desk. The Mayor leans closer to inspect them. Allan nervously watches the Mayor, who draws a breath after looking them over.", "Mayor Wilkins: I think they could be cleaner.", "Allan: Of course, sir. I-I mean, I, I washed them, but... The Mayor leans back in his chair. Allan looks like he's about to have a nervous breakdown.", "Mayor Wilkins: After every meal and under your fingernails. Dirt gets trapped there... and germs... and mayonnaise. My dear mother said, 'cleanliness is next to godliness', and I believed her. She never caught a cold. (laughs) I'd like these two (points at the warrant) to be put under surveillance, (Allan straightens back up) and I'd like to know if... any other colorful characters have come to town.", "Allan: I'll take care of it. (smiles weakly)", "Mayor Wilkins: You have all my faith. Allan takes a step back from the Mayor's desk and walks out just a bit creeped out.", "Cut to Sunnydale High. Cut to the lounge. Yearbook pictures are being taken. Cordelia gives the camera a glowing smile, and her picture is taken. Xander is up next, and he gives the camera a goofy, heavily dimpled smile as the flash goes off. Willow hops up on the stool and gives the camera a big grin. When the photographer doesn't immediately snap her picture, her expression becomes a bit concerned, and such will be her picture in the yearbook. Oz just stares blankly into the camera with a thin smile on his face. After their pictures are taken, Xander and Willow start to walk out of the lounge.", "Willow: You have to help me pick an outfit. I wanna wear something that makes Oz go, 'Oh.' (grins)", "Xander: No problem. I got the tux goin' on. I'm gonna look hot if it even remotely fits. They reach Cordelia, who is looking at the other girls that are running for Homecoming Queen.", "Xander: Whatcha doin'?", "Cordelia: (startles and faces him) Checking out the I-laughingly-use- the-phrase competition. She looks over at Holly, playing with her hair and talking to a couple of boys. Oz comes up behind Willow and gently puts his arm around her.", "Cordelia: Holly Charleston: nice girl, brain dead, doesn't have a prayer. She shifts her gaze to Michelle, who is handing out campaign flyers.", "Cordelia: Michelle Blake: open to all mankind, especially those with a letterman's jacket and a car. (looks at Xander, concerned) She could give me a run. (crosses her arms)", "Willow: Where's Buffy? (Oz looks around) She's gonna miss the yearbook pictures.", "Xander: Buffy and Faith are in the library getting all *sweaty*.", "Cordelia: (corrects him) They're training.", "Xander: (gives her a look) I stand by my phrase.", "Oz: I don't think she was here the day they announced them. Did anybody tell her?", "Cordelia: Oh, I'll tell her now. I have to go to the nurse's office for an ice pack anyway.", "Xander: (puts his hand on her arm) Did you hurt yourself?", "Cordelia: (smiles) No, silly. (nudges him) It shrinks the pores! (walks off) Oz gives Xander a look that oozes \"duh\".", "Cut to the library. Faith holds up her padded hands as Buffy throws several punches to them. After a particularly hard punch, Faith has to shake out her hand and take off the pads.", "Faith: Oh, man! Guys should break up with you more often.", "Buffy: Gee, thank you. (heads toward the book cage)", "Faith: (follows) No, I mean it. You really got some quality rage going. Really gives you an edge. (sets down the pads)", "Buffy: (picks up her jacket) Edge Girl. (pulls it on) Just what I always wanted to be.", "Faith: (wipes her cheek with a towel) Well, screw him, alright? You move on, and... you party heavily, and you'll be fine. I mean, you're still going to that dance, right?", "Buffy: (opens a juice bottle) Maybe. (takes a swallow)", "Faith: You got the tix already. Why don't we go together?", "Buffy: (closes the bottle) I don't know about that. (smiles)", "Faith: Come on. We'll find a couple studs, we'll use 'em and... discard 'em. That's always fun. (nods and takes a swig of her own drink)", "Buffy: Okay, I'm in. Not the stud-using part, though. (smirks and rolls her eyes) Or... probably not.", "Cut to the hall. Cordelia looks into the library through the round door windows, and sees the two Slayers talking. She pushes the door open and is about to go in when she notices two boys walk by. She slips back into the hall and rushes to catch up with them.", "Cordelia: Uh, Bobby! Mashad! (smiles and giggles) You don't phone, you don't write... (makes eyes at them) Where's the love?", "Cut to the quad. A teacher comes down the stairs while looking over some reports. When she reaches the bottom, Buffy notices her and runs up to her.", "Buffy: Ms. Moran? (the teacher looks up) Hi! (smiles) I'm so glad that I ran into you. (they walk slowly) Um, I had this little incident last year of getting kicked out of school. And I'm back now, though, I've done all of my makeup tests, but I still need one written recommendation from a teacher. I think the word that Principal Snyder used was 'glowing'. (smiles awkwardly) Uh, to put in my file so I can prove that I belong here.", "Ms. Moran: (confused) And, um, you are...?", "Buffy: (taken aback) Buffy. B-Buffy Summers. (Ms. Moran tries to remember) Third row. I sat by the window. Uh, your class: Contemporary American Heroes from Amelia Earhart to Maya Angelou. The class that changed my life?", "Ms. Moran: Were you absent a lot, um...", "Buffy: Buffy?", "Cut to the cafeteria. Willow, Oz, Buffy and Xander are sitting at a table. Buffy just stares off into space while the others pick at their food. Cordelia walks into view holding out a flyer and touches a student on the arm.", "Cordelia: Hi. I hope you'll consider me for Homecoming Queen. She walks off, and the camera focuses on the group at the table again.", "Buffy: I can't believe it. My favorite teacher, and she didn't even remember who I was. I'm like a non-person. (to Oz) Am I invisible? (waves her hand in front of him) Can you see me?", "Oz: Big as life.", "Buffy: At Hemery, I was Prom Princess, I was Fiesta Queen, I was on the cheerleading squad. And the yearbook was, like, a story of me. Now it's senior year, and I'm going to be one crappy picture on one-eighth of one crappy page.", "Xander: (looks up from his plate) Uh, no, actually, you're not.", "Buffy: What do you mean?", "Xander: Well, you, uh, missed the picture-taking.", "Buffy: (eyes wide with surprise) When? (looks at Oz) Why?", "Oz: We did 'em yesterday.", "Willow: Didn't Cordelia tell you? Buffy settles her gaze on a campaigning Cordelia.", "Cut to Cordelia handing a flyer to a student. Buffy approaches behind her.", "Cordelia: Thanks for your support. (smiles and turns around) Buffy, you look so cute in that outfit.", "Buffy: I'm not voting for you.", "Cordelia: (curtly) Then make it snappy.", "Buffy: How come you didn't tell me they were doing the yearbook pictures? (crosses her arms)", "Cordelia: Didn't I? Oh, I guess I forgot. What's the big?", "Buffy: It's just... (exhales) You could've thought about somebody else for thirty seconds, that's all.", "Cordelia: Hey, I am under a *lot* of pressure here.", "Buffy: Oh, yeah, campaigning. Rough gig.", "Cordelia: What would you know about it? Just because you were Guacamole Queen when you were three doesn't mean you understand how this works.", "Buffy: Obviously, it involves handing out entirely lame flyers.", "Cordelia: No. It involves being part of this school and having actual friends. Buffy takes offense, and glares at Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Now, if it was about monsters, blood, and innards, then you'd be a shoo-in. I'd like to see *you* try to win the crown.", "Buffy: You would? Cordelia huffs and walks around Buffy to leave.", "Buffy: Then you will. Cordelia stops in her tracks and turns to face her.", "Cordelia: What does that mean?", "Buffy: (faces her) I'm gonna show you how it's done. I'm gonna run for Homecoming Queen, and I'm going to win.", "Cordelia: This is starting to be sad.", "Buffy: Sorry, Cordy, but you have no idea who you're messing with.", "Cordelia: What? The Slayer?", "Buffy: I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened the Prom Queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.", "Cut to Trick's house.", "Trick: Competition. Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It... makes us accomplish. Occasionally, it makes us kill. We all have the desire to win. (walks through the room) Whether we're human... (gestures to three men) vampire... He nods to Lyle Gorch and his wife, then stops by a yellow-skinned creature with a spiny ridge along the top of his head.", "Trick: ...and whatever the hell you are, my brother. You got them spiny-looking head things. I ain't never seen that before.", "Kulak: I am Kulak, of the Miquot Clan.", "Trick: Isn't that nice. (continues walking) Point is, you're all here for the same reason.", "Lyle: Well, it sure ain't no philosophy class, now, is it? His wife Candy smiles at him. Trick stops pacing and faces him.", "Trick: Mr. Gorch, my account statement says that your deposit has not yet been made.", "Lyle: Well, me and Candy... we blowin' our whole honeymoon stash on this little game here. He empties a bag of cash onto the table.", "Trick: (unimpressed) They're dirty.", "Lyle: (smiles) They're nonconsecutive. Trick gives the money another look, and this time is impressed.", "Trick: (to everyone) The games will begin in a few days' time. The first target, Buffy, you've all seen. The second, Faith, is... a little more elusive. But they will both be together and ready for the killing, and that is a money-back guarantee. The Gorches smile.", "Trick: Ladies, gentlemen, spiny-headed looking creatures, welcome to SlayerFest '98! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Rosenberg house that evening. Cut to Willow's room. \"How\", by Lisa Loeb, is quietly playing on the radio. Willow is trying on an outfit, and steps out from behind her changing screen wearing a crimson blouse over a white satin slip dress.", "Willow: What do you think of this? Xander glances over at her as he tucks his white, long-sleeve dress shirt into his tuxedo pants. His bow tie hangs around his collar, still untied.", "Xander: (shrugs) Nice. (smiles) He goes back to tucking in his shirt.", "Willow: It's my first big dance, you know? (unbuttons her blouse) (smiles) Where there's a boy and a band... and not just me alone in my room pretending that there's a boy and a band.", "Lyrics: I didn't come this far", "Willow: (picks up another outfit) I just want it to be... She goes back behind the changing screen as Xander steps over to her dressing mirror to tie his bow tie.", "Xander: Special. That's why I spared no expense on the tux.", "Willow: The tux? I thought you, uh, borrowed it from your cousin Rigby.", "Lyrics: For you to make this hard for me.", "Xander: (struggling with his tie) Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us... as they should.", "Lyrics: And now you want to ask me 'how'? Willow steps out from behind the screen again, this time wearing a black top embroidered with several randomly placed small sunflowers and a smiling sun over a full-length black skirt with a floral print.", "Willow: What do you think about this?", "Lyrics: It's like / How does your heart beat?", "Xander: (looks and nods) Nice.", "Lyrics: Why do you breathe? He turns his attention back on his tie. Willow sees him struggle with it and comes over to him, raising her hands along the way to reach for the tie. Xander lets go of the tie, and she starts to tie it. She looks up at him and gives him a little smile.", "Lyrics: How does your heart beat?", "Xander: What?", "Lyrics: And why do you breathe?", "Willow: (smiling) I was just...", "Lyrics: Why did you come here?", "Willow: Remember the eighth-grade cotillion? (giggles) You had that clip-on?", "Lyrics: You weren't invited", "Xander: Hey, I was pretty stylin' with a clip-on.", "Lyrics: And you're on the outside", "Willow: And now here we are, and it's... Homecoming. (concentrates on the tie)", "Xander: Yeah, we should face it, Will.", "Lyrics: Stay on the outside.", "Xander: You and I are gonna be in neighboring rest homes while I come over so you can adjust my, um...", "Lyrics: And now you want to ask me 'why'? Willow raises her eyebrows at him.", "Xander: My, uh... Well, I can't think of anything that's not really gross.", "Lyrics: It's like / How does your heart beat? Willow is finished with the tie and smiles at him. She pats the tie and then goes back behind the screen to try on yet another outfit. Xander pulls on his vest.", "Lyrics: And how do you cry?", "Xander: So, uh... you and Oz.", "Lyrics: How does your heart beat?", "Xander: How do I put this? (buttons the vest) Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods?", "Willow: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris. Her shadow on the screen shows her adjusting the shoulder straps of the dress she's putting on.", "Lyrics: And there are some things that I like to figure out", "Xander: (smiles) Ooo, rounding second. (reaches for his jacket)", "Willow: (huffs) You don't know that. What about you and Cordelia?", "Lyrics: There are some things that I can do without", "Xander: (pulls on the tuxedo jacket) Oh, a gentleman never talks about his conquests.", "Willow: Oh, yeah? (steps out from behind the screen) Well, since when did you become a...", "Lyrics: You and your letters are gone forever They are both struck dumb when they see each other. She is wearing an elegant black, sleeveless, full-length dress. Xander is looking dapper in his tuxedo. They don't say anything for a long moment. Willow finally breaks the silence to finish her sentence.", "Willow: ...gentleman? (smiles and giggles) She looks down at her dress, then back up at him and shrugs.", "Willow: Uh, I know. 'Nice.'", "Xander: I was gonna go with 'gorgeous'. (steps toward her)", "Willow: (smiles) Really? (steps toward him) You, too. I-in a guy way.", "Lyrics: With all the things that you could be", "Xander: (smiles back and draws a breath) Oz is very lucky.", "Willow: (smiling) So is Cordelia... i-in a girl way.", "Lyrics: You never could learn how to be me. Suddenly Willow looks very worried.", "Willow: I don't know if I can dance in this. I don't know if I can dance!", "Xander: Come on. Piece of cake. He steps up to her and offers his hands to dance.", "Xander: Here.", "Lyrics: And now you want to ask me 'how'? They take a few seconds to get positioned for a traditional slow waltz, and then start to dance.", "Xander: Well, that seems to, um... He looks down at their feet as they sway back and forth for a little while. Willow looks up at him, but tries not to look like she is.", "Lyrics: It's like / How does your heart beat? / Why do you breathe?", "Willow: Yeah. This shouldn't be a... problem.", "Lyrics: How does your heart beat?", "Xander: No. They slowly inch closer to each other.", "Lyrics: Why do you breathe?", "Xander: No problem.", "Lyrics: How does your heart beat? / Why do you breathe? He slowly leans his head down to her, and she responds by angling hers up to him. They are soon very close, and kiss gently. The kiss goes on for several seconds before they realize what they are doing and quickly jump apart.", "Lyrics: How do you breathe?", "Xander: (points at her) That didn't just happen!", "Willow: No! (gestures nervously) I mean, it did, but it didn't!", "Xander: Because I respect you. And Oz. And I would never...", "Willow: (furrows her brow) I would never, either! I-it must be the clothes. I-it's a fluke.", "Xander: It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking.", "Willow: Not ever. They step closer again, and are about to kiss when they jump apart again.", "Xander: We gotta get out of these clothes!", "Willow: Right now! They quickly realize the implication of what they just said, and get all flustered and gesture wildly.", "Xander: Oh, I didn't mean...", "Willow: I didn't... me, either! She rushes back behind her screen. Xander hastens the other way.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next day.", "Buffy: A campaign is like a war. It's won or lost in the trenches.", "Cut to the library, where Buffy has the large whiteboard arrayed with pictures of Cordelia, Michelle and Holly. Next to each picture is a thermometer filled in red up to their perceived levels of popularity. Below each picture is a list of strengths and weaknesses for each girl. Buffy walks past the board, pointing at each picture with a pointer stick as she goes by.", "Buffy: Holly, Michelle, and our real competition, Cordelia, all have big head starts. (sets down the pointer) Speaking of big heads, if I had a watermelon as big as Cordelia's, I'd be rich. She smiles at Xander, Willow and Oz, who are sitting on the table fidgeting nervously and looking as though they are desperate to get out of there. They don't react to Buffy's joke at all. Her smile fades.", "Buffy: Waits for laugh... She gives up waiting for a response and takes a few steps along the board.", "Buffy: Okay, you're right. Making fun of the competition only makes me seem petty. Now, this is just like any other popularity contest. I've done this before. The only difference being this time, I'm not actually popular. Although, I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party.", "Willow: But they were killed by zombies.", "Buffy: (points at her) Good point. Okay, (steps up to them) here's the plan. Willow, I need you to make a database. See who's for us, who's on the fence and where our real crisis areas are. Oz, you take the fringe: musicians, those not normally inclined to vote. Xander, what... She notices Cordelia coming into the library. Cordelia looks at them, wondering what's going on and crosses her arms.", "Buffy: Uh, Cordelia... Okay, look. I know this is a little awkward, but I don't see any reason why we all can't get along during this campaign time. (Cordelia shrugs and nods) I mean, we're... almost friends, and... we are all riding together in the limo.", "Cordelia: Yeah, great. Willow, how's that database coming?", "Willow: (looks down in shame) Uh, it's... just about done. (sighs)", "Cordelia: (insistently) Xander?", "Xander: (whips his head around to face her) I got your new flyers.", "(smiles thinly)", "Cordelia: Let's get cracking.", "Buffy gives them all a betrayed look. Xander slips off of the table.", "Xander: (to Buffy) She's my girlfriend. (goes to Cordelia) Willow slides off of the table also, and gestures and shrugs a lot when she looks at Buffy on her way to join Xander and Cordelia.", "Willow: It's just that... she needs it so much more than you do. Oz gets off of the table also, and stops by Buffy on his way after Willow, pointing back and forth between Willow and himself.", "Oz: As Willow goes, so goes my nation. He goes over to stand with the others, who are hanging their heads in shame and embarrassment behind Cordelia. Cordelia, by contrast, is standing proudly erect, facing Buffy with her arms crossed.", "Cordelia: Thanks for what you said, Buffy. I think we're getting along great. Don't you? Buffy takes it silently with a look of betrayal and abandonment evident on her face. Cordelia turns and heads out of the library. The others each give Buffy a quick apologetic glance and follow her out. Giles walks into the area as Buffy goes to the table to get her bottle of apple juice.", "Giles: Seems like a lot of fuss for... one little title.", "Buffy: Well, you know, it's no fun if you don't try your best. (takes a drink)", "Giles: As long as fun is still in the mix.", "Buffy: (smiling) Sure! It's not like anyone takes it that seriously. The bottle in her hand suddenly shatters under the pressure of her grip. Buffy gives Giles an innocent smile. Cut outside to the quad. The Homecoming Queen campaigning is well under way. \"Fire Escape\", by Fastball, plays in the background as the camera moves around, taking in various scenes of the girls trying to get votes. Buffy talks to a small group of students while handing out fliers, then looks over her shoulder at Cordelia. The camera pans over to Cordelia glancing at Buffy. When she notices Buffy looking at her, she shifts her attention to her own group of people, several of whom already have her flyer.", "Lyrics: Well, I don't wanna be president The camera pans again, and the scene dissolves to Trick's abode and Jungle Bob checking his rifle.", "Lyrics: Superman or Clark Kent He walks past the Gruenstahler brothers wrestling with each other.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna walk 'round in their shoes The camera continues panning past Lyle and Candy Gorch kissing on a couch. Dissolve back to the quad at school. The camera pans across a bulletin board on which Holly, Michelle and Cordelia each have a flyer posted.", "Lyrics: 'Cause I don't know whose side I'm on Buffy walks up to the board and posts her much larger flyer right on top of Cordelia's.", "Lyrics: I don't know my right from wrong", "Cut to the Gruenstahler's boss, checking maps and coordinates on his computer.", "Lyrics: I don't know where I'm going to Behind him his boys keep up with their training. Cut to Jungle Bob, testing a bear trap. He sticks a mannequin leg into it, and the jaws instantly snap shut, shattering the leg. Cut to Kulak. He raises his arms and snaps them down so his forearms are extended out from him horizontally at his waist.", "Lyrics: I don't know about you Both of Kulak's forearms split open from elbow to wrist, and a long, serrated, green throwing weapon pops out of each arm and into his hands. He roars and quickly heaves them both at a wall, where they both hit within inches of each other.", "Cut to the quad at school again. Buffy comes down the stairs with a bounce in her step.", "Lyrics: I'll be the rain falling on your fire escape At the bottom she fakes dropping her stack of flyers. Scott sees them fall, and quickly kneels down to pick them up.", "Buffy: Sorry.", "Scott: Here. He hands her the flyers, and they both stand back up.", "Lyrics: And I may not be the man you want me to", "Scott: (looks at the flyers) I heard you were doing this.", "Buffy: Uh... yeah. It's just something to pass the time.", "Lyrics: I can be myself", "Buffy: It's silly, really.", "Lyrics: How 'bout you?", "Scott: I don't think so. For what it's worth, you have my vote.", "Buffy: No, I don't want you to feel... (reconsiders and smiles) Thank you. Scott nods his head back at her and leaves.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna make you mad Buffy smiles to herself and pulls out her campaign notebook.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna meet your dad She opens it to a list of names, and checks off Scott's name.", "Lyrics: I don't wanna be your dream come true She closes it, notices another boy coming and tosses her flyers on the ground again, making like it was an accident. The boy bends down to pick them up. Cut to a hall. Buffy is wearing a Sunnydale High team jacket and talks to a group of athletes also wearing team jackets. They all smile at her as she makes small talk with them.", "Lyrics: 'Cause I don't know just what I've found", "Cut to her campaign book. She checks off the name of Daryl Sancton. Cut to the quad. Holly is about to offer a brownie to a boy when Buffy comes up to him and gives him a huge chocolate cupcake. She gives him a radiant smile, and then smiles smugly to herself as she walks off.", "Lyrics: I don't know my sky from ground", "Cut to her campaign notebook. She checks off Leafe Small's name.", "Lyrics: I don't know where I'm going to", "Cut to the quad. After giving away two more chocolate cupcakes, Buffy walks over to a column to post a flyer. Cordelia comes up to the two students and smiles brightly as she hands them each a basket full of sweets and chocolates.", "Lyrics: I don't know about you Cordelia then holds open a bag for them to dump their cupcakes into. Buffy watches as Cordelia steps over to a trashcan and drops the bag into it. Cordelia gives her a smug look and smiles before walking off.", "Cut to the halls. Willow looks at two flyers of Buffy and Cordelia posted next to each other, sighs and starts to walk along the hall. She only gets a few steps before she runs into Buffy.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Willow: (jumpy) Hi! How are you? You good? You look good. Anything new? (smiles) Hey, did I mention you look good?", "Buffy: Willow, it's okay that you're helping Cordelia. We're best friends. I'm not gonna hold it against you.", "Willow: (whining) No, I'm not a friend. I'm a rabid dog who should be shot! But there're forces at work here! Dark, incomprehensible forces.", "Buffy: And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together, or... the number of times that I've saved your life.", "Willow: (looks at her imploringly) What do you want?", "Buffy: Fifteen minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database.", "Willow: (gives in with a squeaky voice) 'Kay. She slides her backpack from her shoulder and sits at a table by a window.", "Buffy: (smiles) Good! Oh! (sits also) Cut outside the window. The camera pulls back from it.", "Buffy: So, I spoke to the limo people, and we're all set. Cut inside the Gruenstahler's van. One of them is looking at them through binoculars while the other has a parabolic listening device trained on them and records their conversation.", "Buffy: They'll pick up Faith, then me, then swing by and get you guys. Now, what's your database tell you about *my* weaknesses?", "Cut to a hall. Jonathon takes a big bite out of a chocolate cupcake as he walks slowly along. The camera pulls back from him to show Buffy walking with him with her arm around his shoulders.", "Buffy: You know, Jonathon, I've always felt a special bond between you and me.", "Jonathon: (with his mouth full) Cordelia gave me six bucks. (they stop walking) That buys a *whole* lotta cupcakes. (takes another bite)", "Cut to another part of the hall where Cordelia is talking to another group of students.", "Cordelia: Are you kidding? She holds up her hand with her fingers spread in the characteristic 'V' form of the Vulcan greeting.", "Cordelia: I've been doing the Vulcan death grip since I was four. She smiles at a guy and pokes him in the forehead a few times with her spread fingers, blissfully unaware that she doesn't know the first thing about the Vulcan nerve pinch, not even its proper name. Buffy walks up behind her with her arms crossed.", "Buffy: So you really are giving out money, huh?", "Cordelia: (turns to face her) Is that any more tacky than your faux 'I'm shy but deep' campaign posters?", "Buffy: Yes.", "Cordelia: This whole trying to be like me really isn't funny anymore.", "Buffy: I was *never* trying to be like you, and when was it funny?", "Cordelia: I don't see why your pathetic need to recapture your glory days gives you the right to splinter my vote.", "Buffy: (not believing what she's hearing) How can you think it's okay to talk to people like this? Do you have parents?", "Cordelia: Yeah. Two of them... unlike some people.", "Buffy: (completely flabbergasted) Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth, is it? Xander and Willow walk up behind Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Why don't you do us both a favor and stay out of my way? She starts to walk past her, putting her hand on Buffy's shoulder to push her out of the way. Buffy grabs her hand and pulls it off of her.", "Buffy: Don't *ever* do that again.", "Cordelia: (jerks her hand away) You're sick, you know that? Xander takes Cordelia by the arms from behind.", "Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll, uh, regret later...", "Cordelia: (to Buffy) You crazy freak!", "Buffy: Vapid whore!", "Xander: ...like that! He pulls Cordelia away from Buffy.", "Cordelia: (incensed) What did you call me?! Xander quickly leads her away down the hall. Willow steps up to Buffy looking extremely worried.", "Willow: This is just...", "Cut to Willow's room later that afternoon. She paces behind Xander.", "Willow: ...the worst thing that's ever happened. Ever! She sits on her bed and crosses her arms and legs, looking down sadly. Xander sits down next to her and puts his arm around her.", "Xander: I know. I know. It's just... when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time.", "Willow: I'm talking about Buffy and Cordelia.", "Xander: (yanks back his arm) Me, too.", "Willow: (sighs) What are we gonna do? I mean, we have to do something. This is all our fault.", "Xander: How do you get from 'chick fight' to 'our fault'?", "Willow: (flustered) Because: we felt so guilty about the fluke, we overcompensated helping Cordelia, and we spun the whole group dynamic out of orbit, and we're just a big meteor shower heading for Earth...", "Xander: Okay, calm down. Let's just put our heads together and think of something. (Willow nods) (takes a breath) Okay, one of us here is pretty darn smart, and I am... Willow looks at him expectantly.", "Xander: ...just in Hell. I-I mean, I-I thought being a senior *at last* and, and having a girlfriend *at last* would, would be a *good* thing. Now, why wouldn't that be a good thing? He notices Willow's gazed fixed on his mouth.", "Xander: What?", "Willow: Sometimes when you're falling to pieces, your mouth, (reaches up with her hand) it just does the sweetest thing. (smiles) Xander reaches up with his hand, takes hers in it and lowers their hands to his knee. He puts his other hand over hers as well.", "Willow: What are we gonna do?", "Xander: We just have to get the two of them communicating.", "Willow: I'm talking about us. They look at each other in silence.", "Cut to Buffy's house that night. She is wearing a bright red spaghetti- strap evening gown with matching shoes and purse. She comes down the steps from the porch and walks over to the limousine waiting for her in the driveway. The driver holds open the door for her, and she gets in. He closes the door. Buffy looks next to her and finds Cordelia sitting there wearing a green satin dress with a corsage on her wrist.", "Buffy: What's going on here? Where's Faith? Cordelia hands her the card she found in the limo when she was picked up. Buffy opens it and reads. Dear Cordelia and Buffy, We won't be riding to the dance with you. We want you to work out your problems because our friendships are more important than who wins Homecoming Queen. Your friends. P.S. The limo was not cheap. Work it out. She folds the card closed and sets it down.", "Buffy: Well... She looks around and notices the corsage waiting for her in a small box between them.", "Buffy: They bought us corsages?", "Cordelia: I took the orchid.", "Buffy: (rolls her eyes) Okay. The driver gets in and starts the car. The camera is in a close-up shot of his ear, and he puts an earpiece into it as the camera pulls out to reveal that the driver is one of the Gruenstahler brothers. He puts the car in gear and drives off.", "Cut to a lonely stretch of road in the woods. The limousine drives along at a steady speed.", "Cordelia: I don't see what the big deal is. Cut inside the limo.", "Buffy: I'm not making a big deal. You wanted the orchid, you got the orchid.", "Cordelia: It goes with my complexion better. The driver pulls the limo to the side of the road.", "Buffy: It does have that sallow tint. She notices the car stop.", "Buffy: Finally we're here. They hear the driver's door slam and his footsteps as he runs off. Buffy gives Cordelia a concerned look. She opens her door and gets out of the car. Cut outside. Cordelia gets out behind her and swings the door shut. They look around, surprised to find themselves in the middle of the woods.", "Cordelia: What is this? (loudly) Okay, guys, we've had enough of your stupid little game! Buffy notices a VCR and a monitor waiting for them on a rock.", "Buffy: What's massively wrong with this picture? They walk up to it. A sign on the VCR says \"Press Play\", which Buffy does. Trick appears on the screen.", "Trick: Hello, ladies. Welcome to SlayerFest '98. Buffy and Cordelia stare at the monitor in disbelief.", "Trick: What is a SlayerFest, you ask? Well, as in most of life, there's the hunters and the hunted. Can you guess where you two fall? From the beginning of this tape, you have exactly thirty seconds--(checks his watch) no, that's seventeen now--to run for your lives. (smiles)", "Cut to Cordelia.", "Trick: Faith...", "Cut to Buffy.", "Trick: Buffy...", "Cut to the monitor.", "Trick: (smiling hugely) Have a nice death. The picture fades to black, and the word \"SlayerFest\" appears in red and white.", "Cordelia: (to the woods around them) Hello! How stupid are you people? (points at Buffy) She's a Slayer. (puts her hand to her chest) I'm a Homecoming Queen! They hear a distant gunshot, and an instant later the monitor explodes. Cordelia gasps in fright, and the two of them begin to run.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Homecoming Dance at the Bronze. Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) are on the stage performing \"She Knows\". The camera is overhead looking straight down on the drummer. It tilts up as it moves past Oz on his guitar and Devon at the mic and out into the crowd.", "Lyrics: She flies from a blinding light / And spirals to my heart The camera closes in on Willow and Xander standing about three feet (1m) apart. Willow has her hands folded in front of her and looks sad as she watches the band play. Xander is idly nibbling on a finger sandwich while looking down at the floor, seemingly deep in thought. Faith comes up behind them.", "Faith: What are you two so mopey about?", "Lyrics: I try to find my mind to go / don't know where to start", "Xander: (looks at her) Oh, we're not mopey. We're groovin'. (points at the stage) On Oz's band. He's a great guy, Oz.", "Lyrics: Won't ever, can't ever find my sanity", "Willow: He wrote this song for me. Faith glances around and sees Scott behind her dancing with a girl.", "Lyrics: Won't ever...", "Faith: (to Willow, indicating behind them) Sleazebag! (huffs and walks off)", "Lyrics: ...can't ever till I hear her calling for me Giles finds them and rushes up behind them.", "Giles: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible's happened. Willow and Xander look at him, but aren't upset by this news.", "Lyrics: She knows that, she knows that", "Giles: (smiles) Just kidding. Thought I'd give you a scare. Willow looks back at the band. Xander just stares at him.", "Lyrics: She knows that side of me", "Giles: (sees Xander's sandwich) Are those finger sandwiches? He goes off to find the buffet table to get a few sandwiches of his own. Xander looks back at the band now, too.", "Lyrics: I can't help it, can't help it", "Cut to the woods. Buffy and Cordelia jog through it at a brisk pace. Buffy scans the forest around them as they go. Cordelia just follows her.", "Cordelia: I have an idea. We talk to these people, we explain that I'm not a Slayer, and they let me go. They slow to a walk. Buffy ignores Cordelia's comment, and keeps scanning around them. Cordelia looks down and sees that Buffy is about to step into a bear trap.", "Cordelia: Look out! With her fast Slayer reflexes, Buffy instantly lifts her foot back up, and the trap snaps shut empty. Knowing someone must be near, Buffy grabs Cordelia and pulls her to the ground as Jungle Bob takes aim with his rifle.", "Buffy: Get down! He shoots and misses. Buffy grabs the sprung trap and hurls it at Jungle Bob. It hits him hard, and he staggers back and steps into another bear trap. He grunts when it snaps shut on his leg. Buffy hurries over to him with Cordelia not far behind. She picks up his rifle and points it at him.", "Buffy: That's gotta smart. Jungle Bob tries to pry open the trap.", "Buffy: Now, I can let you out of that, or I can put a bullet in your head. How many are there in this little game, and what are they packing? He just stares at her, refusing to speak. Buffy pumps a fresh round into the gun's chamber. This gives him cause to think again.", "Jungle Bob: There's me, two Germans with AR-15s and grenade launcher... yellow-skinned demon with long knives... Vampire couple from Texas named Gorch.", "Buffy: That everybody?", "Jungle Bob: Everybody who's out here. Germans are wired. Their boss is tracking them on computer. Now get me out of this!", "Cordelia: Could I just ask you an *eensy* favor? Could you just tell your friends that I'm not a Sl... Cordelia screams and jumps back as Kulak's serrated weapons slice into the tree in front of her.", "Cut to the Bronze. Giles selects a few finger sandwiches from the buffet table.", "Lyrics: Just a little more, just a little more Behind Giles, Faith moves around the table, and the camera follows her over to Scott. He is dancing slow and close with his date.", "Lyrics: Just until I know what I'm feeling Faith touches the couple, and they pull apart.", "Faith: Scott? There you are, honey!", "Lyrics: Just a little more", "Faith: Hey, good news.", "Lyrics: Just a little more / To find my sanity", "Faith: (with lots of gesturing) The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, (puts her hands on his chest) but we gotta keep using the ointment. Scott's date isn't sure what to make of that. Faith turns to her and touches her on the shoulder.", "Faith: Hi.", "Lyrics: She knows that side is calling back for me She turns back to Scott, grabs him by the lapels and gives him a little pull. She lets go of him and walks away. Scott turns back to his date, thoroughly embarrassed.", "Scott: Uh... The camera pans back across the buffet table to Giles. He chews on a bite of his finger sandwich and steps over to Willow and Xander sitting angled away from each other. Willow stares at the floor while Xander leans his face into his fist.", "Lyrics: I've lost my mind / I never believe", "Giles: I suspect the, uh, finger food contains... actual fingers. Xander gives him a quick disgusted glance. Willow just stares sadly at the floor.", "Lyrics: She knows that side...", "Giles: I-I-I think I'll retreat to the library until the coronation. He gets no reaction from either of them.", "Lyrics: ...is calling back for me", "Giles: I wanna be here when, when, when Buffy... Well, uh, however the thing turns out for her.", "Lyrics: I lost my mind til she's calling for me", "Giles: A-and that was a very fine thing you two did, putting Buffy and Cordelia together.", "Lyrics: She's calling for me / She's calling for me He holds out the rest of his sandwich wrapped in a napkin out to Xander, who idly takes it. Giles then heads out of the Bronze to go to his library.", "Lyrics: She knows that, she knows that Willow keeps staring down at the floor with a big frown on her face.", "Willow: We did one fine thing.", "Lyrics: She knows that side of me", "Xander: Yeah. They've been gone for a while. They must really be getting' into it.", "Lyrics: I can't help it Cut inside a run-down cabin in the woods. Buffy kicks the door in, and she and Cordelia rush in. Buffy holds Jungle Bob's rifle in one hand as she pushes the door shut with the other and pulls a chair over to barricade it. She starts to go each window to close the shutters and draw the drapes over them.", "Buffy: We should be safe in here for a while. You need to find a weapon.", "Cordelia: (panting with fright) Safe? I'm not safe. I'm gonna die! Buffy pulls back the drapes from another window to close its shutters, but it comes loose in her hand and falls to the floor.", "Buffy: (shrugs) Yeah, you are if you just stand there. She pulls the drapes across to at least block the view and goes on to do the rest of the windows.", "Cordelia: (sobbing) I'm never gonna be crowned Homecoming Queen. I'm never gonna graduate from high school. I'm never gonna know if it's real between me and Xander, or if it's just... (sobs) some temporary insanity that made me think... (sobs) I loved him. (sobs) And now I'm never gonna get the chance to tell him. Buffy allows her attention to be diverted by Cordelia for a moment. She sighs and goes over to her.", "Buffy: Yes, you are. We are gonna get out of here, and we are gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I'm gonna take out the rest of these guys just in time for you to congratulate me on my *sweeping* victory as Homecoming Queen. (heads back to a window)", "Cordelia: I know what you're up to. (Buffy turns back to face her) You think if you get me mad enough, I won't be so scared. And, hey! It's working! Where's a damn weapon? She looks around and sees an end table with drawers, walks over to it and starts searching for anything that she can use. Buffy resumes her surveillance at the window.", "Buffy: You really love Xander?", "Cordelia: Well, he kinda grows on you, like... a Chia Pet. She finds a spatula and takes it over to Buffy.", "Buffy: That's it?", "Cordelia: Just this and a telephone.", "Buffy: A telephone. And you didn't think that'd be helpful?", "Cordelia: No, this is better for... She swings it a few times and realizes it probably won't be of much use.", "Cordelia: Oh. (exhales)", "Cut to Trick's place. The Gruenstahler's boss is using his computer to track the happenings in the woods.", "Boss: You're about to see why Daniel Boone and that idiot demon are creatures of the past... and why I am the future. I'm picking up a signal. He zeros in on a grid on his computer map.", "Boss: They've got a phone!", "Cut to the cabin. Buffy is on the phone.", "Buffy: If you get this message, Giles, get help and get out here... The phone clicks and goes dead.", "Buffy: Hello?", "Cordelia: What happened?", "Buffy: It went dead.", "Cut to Jungle Bob in the woods. Kulak walks up behind him and watches him grunt and struggle to pry open the bear trap.", "Kulak: Want me to cut that leg off?", "Jungle Bob: No, thanks. Kulak gives him a disgusted grunt and walks off after the girls.", "Cut to the Gruenstahler brothers. They are decked out all in black and have their AR-15s raised and ready, listening to their boss on their headsets and scanning the area as they go.", "Boss: Continue proceeding south ninety meters to vector three.", "Cut to Giles' office. He comes in, notices that there is a message for him on his machine and presses the playback button. He takes a sip of his tea as the machine rewinds briefly, beeps and plays Buffy's message.", "Buffy: Giles, it's me... and Cordelia. We're in a cabin in Miller's Woods, and we're in big trouble.", "Cut to the cabin. Cordelia sits down on a cot.", "Cordelia: Why is it every time I go somewhere with you, it always ends in violence and terror?", "Buffy: (staring out a window) Welcome to my life.", "Cordelia: I don't wanna be in your life. I wanna be in my life.", "Buffy: (looks back at her) Well, there's the door. (points with the rifle) Please feel free to walk out at any time and live your life. She walks over to another window and looks out again.", "Cordelia: All I wanted was to be Homecoming Queen. Buffy turns to face her again and lowers the gun.", "Buffy: And that's all I wanted, too, Cordelia. She sighs, looks down at her dress and heads back to the other window again.", "Buffy: I spent a year's allowance on this dress. (looks out again)", "Cordelia: I don't even get why you care about Homecoming when you're doing stuff like this. Again Buffy turns around to face her.", "Buffy: Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. (lowers her head and steps into the room) You couldn't understand. (shrugs) I just thought... Homecoming Queen. (smiles) (Cordelia keeps respectfully silent) I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and... for one moment, I got to live in the world. (smiles) And there'd be proof. Proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Cordelia gives her an understanding look. Buffy raises the rifle in her hands.", "Buffy: Besides... (pumps the rifle) I look cute in a tiara. Cordelia lets out a little laugh. Then they hear a growl outside of the cabin.", "Cordelia: Do you hear... Suddenly Kulak comes crashing through a window. He immediately grabs Buffy and throws her down onto an old mattress and pillow on the floor, making her drop the rifle. She rolls out of the way as he swings at her with his green serrated blades, and they just slice into the pillow. Buffy rushes to the far wall and takes down a set of antlers to use for defense. Kulak swings his blades at her while Cordelia slaps him on the back with her spatula from behind. Buffy blocks the blades with the antlers and shoves the antlers aside. Kulak goes down with them.", "Buffy: Cor, the gun! Kulak gets to his knees and takes a wide swing at Buffy, cutting her slightly on the arm and making her fall.", "Buffy: Ooh! Cordelia finds the rifle on the floor and picks it up. Kulak stands up and tries another swing, but Buffy grabs the end of the rug he's standing on and yanks it out from under him, making him fall backward and hit the floor hard on his back. Cordelia has the gun raised now, and waves it around looking for a target. Kulak gets back to his feet, and Cordelia shoots but misses, hitting a bottle on a shelf instead.", "Buffy: Cordelia, the spatula. Cut outside of the cabin. The Gruenstahler boys sneak up on it. Cut to their boss.", "Boss: Prepare to launch. Cut inside the cabin. Kulak takes a lunging swing at Buffy. She avoids it and grabs the hanging lamp above her and uses it to support herself to deliver a solid mid-air roundhouse kick to Kulak's face. He goes flying backward into a desk against the wall and falls to the floor. Cut outside. One of the brothers loads a grenade into his launcher and closes the chamber. Their boss gives them coordinates over their radio feeds.", "Boss: Target's in range, ready your weapons. Y-axis fifty-three degrees west by eight degrees south. The assassin punches the coordinates into his targeting computer. Cut inside. Cordelia tries to get Buffy's attention.", "Cordelia: Buffy! Buffy looks over at her, and Cordelia tosses her the rifle. She aims it at Kulak as he gets up from the floor. He roars and starts to come at her. Buffy pulls the trigger, but the chamber is still empty from Cordelia's shot, so the hammer just clicks on nothing. Buffy quickly raises the rifle above her head to block Kulak's swing. His blade embeds itself in the rifle's stock, and Buffy twists it around, pulling Kulak's arm with it and pinning him down.", "Cut to the Gruenstahler's boss.", "Boss: Launch! Cut outside the cabin. The grenade is launched. Cut inside. The grenade penetrates a window shutter and falls to the floor in front of Buffy and Kulak. They look at each other and let go of the rifle. Buffy grabs Cordelia and starts to run toward a window with her in tow. Kulak runs for another window. Buffy and Cordelia both jump and crash through the glass. Kulak jumps also, but his window is shuttered behind the curtain, so he just bounces off of it and back into the room by the grenade. He takes a quick, terrified breath. Cut outside. Buffy and Cordelia run like mad. Behind them the cabin explodes in a huge fireball, sending bits of debris flying everywhere and knocking them to the ground. They both look up at each other, panting.", "Buffy: We gotta get back to the library. They get up and start running through the woods. The Gruenstahlers begin to track them.", "Cut to the library. Lyle and Candy have the book cage open and have found the weapons stash. A couple of battle-axes and a mace are on a table. Candy loads a bolt into the crossbow, turns around and points it at Lyle.", "Lyle: Easy, darlin'. (nudges the weapon away) These things go through you faster than Grandpa Pete's chili.", "Candy: I want to do Buffy: my weddin' present for what happened to your poor brother.", "Lyle: Tector.", "Candy: (impatient) When's she comin'?", "Lyle: (looks down at the floor) Well, he's her Watcher. She'll show... just as soon as she gets rid of some of our competition. The camera pans down to Giles lying unconscious on the floor. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside Trick's house. The Gruenstahler's boss is tracking Buffy and Cordelia on his computer.", "Boss: They're heading west, back into town.", "Trick: They got away?", "Boss: Temporarily.", "Trick: Well, give it up for the Slayers. They got character. There's a knock at the door.", "Trick: I'll take care of it. He goes to answer the door. The boss keeps tracking the girls. Cut to the door. Trick opens it. There he finds two police officers waiting.", "Trick: Evening, gentlemen. How may I help you? Without a word the two officers grab him and drag him out of the house.", "Trick: Excuse me! Anybody got a warrant here?", "Cut to the halls at the school. Buffy and Cordelia come around a corner and head for the library.", "Buffy: Jungle Bob and spike-head are down and out. We've lost the Germans twice, but they seem to keep finding us. If we take them out and the Gorches, we can still make Homecoming.", "Cordelia: Those animals! Hunting us down like poor defenseless... well, animals. They walk into the library.", "Buffy: We just need to find Giles... Candy roars and grabs Buffy by the arm. She swings her around and lets go, but Buffy maintains her balance and doesn't fall. Candy does a roundhouse kick to Buffy's face, making her stagger a bit. She grabs Buffy by the back of the neck and shoves her into a bookcase, bringing her head down onto the shelves and breaking several of them as she falls to the floor. Lyle smiles at Candy's clever move, but Buffy does a sweep kick, knocking Candy's legs out from underneath her and making her fall also. Buffy scrambles to her feet. Cordelia gets her attention.", "Cordelia: Buffy! She tosses the spatula to Buffy, who grabs it in mid-air and turns to face Candy with it. Candy grabs the coat rack as she gets up. Buffy lunges at Candy with the handle of the spatula and impales her on it. Candy shoves the base of the coat rack into Buffy's face and makes her stumble back into the walls. She falls over a wastebasket and into a potted tree before falling to the floor unconscious. Candy drops the coat rack and notices the spatula sticking out of her chest. Lyle's face takes on a look of terror.", "Lyle: Candy! She burst into ashes before his eyes.", "Lyle: Oh, Candy... He heads for Buffy on the floor. Cordelia calmly steps over and heads him off.", "Lyle: I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me?", "Cordelia: I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?", "Lyle: (furious) I'm gonna...", "Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.", "Lyle: WIFE!", "Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. *I'm* the Queen. You get me mad, (gets in his face and glares at him) what do you think I'm gonna do to you? Lyle is taken aback by that, and considers his next move. Cordelia raises her eyebrows at him impatiently. Lyle thinks better of taking her on and gives her a quick nod.", "Lyle: Later. He cautiously edges his way around her and heads out of the library. Giles wakes up and gets up from the floor. Cordelia smiles, impressed with herself.", "Cut to later in the library. Buffy is awake again, and Giles starts to deal with the mess left by the Gorches.", "Buffy: (to Cordelia) That should teach him to mistake you for a Slayer.", "Giles: Yes, I must admit I do feel partly responsible. I did give your friends tacit approval to make the switch in the limousine.", "Buffy: Aw, it's okay. It gave Cor and I a chance to spend some quality death time.", "Cordelia: And we got these free corsages. (looks at hers) Buffy pulls hers out to look at it.", "Giles: Oh, that's nice. Although I don't recall them mentioning corsages.", "Buffy: Jungle Bob... said that the Germans were hooked into a computer system. She gives her corsage a more thorough inspection. Inside she finds a small transmitter.", "Buffy: And they're hooked into us. They both look up when they hear a door slam out in the halls. Cut to the halls. The Gruenstahler brothers make their way in, scanning around with their laser-sighted rifles. Cut into the library. Cordelia quickly pulls her corsage off and gives it to Buffy.", "Cordelia: Oh, God, get rid of these things!", "Buffy: (to Giles) I need some wet toilet paper.", "Cordelia: (sarcastically) Yeah! That'll help.", "Cut to the halls. The brothers pull on their night vision goggles and continue to scan and advance into the dark halls. Their boss talks over their com links.", "Boss: Transmitting coordinates now.", "Cut to their boss tracking them.", "Boss: They're fifty feet away.", "Cut to the halls as seen looking through the night vision goggles. Suddenly Buffy runs across the hall. They try to trace her and fire, but they can't follow her fast enough with their aim. They hold their fire, and one of them signals the other to advance. Around the corner Buffy ducks into a classroom. The one follows her in. The other listens to his boss' instructions and takes aim through a wall.", "Boss: Axis six degrees by forty-three.", "Cut to their boss, still tracking.", "Boss: I have them both in range. Cut inside the classroom. The assassin scans around in the dark room, but can't see anything. Cut to the hall. The one out there moves his rifle according to his instructions.", "Boss: I have the targets together, twenty feet north and stationary. Final position is locked. Fire when ready. Cut inside the classroom. The assassin keeps scanning as he walks through the room.", "Boss: Both targets seven degrees by thirty-five. Buffy rises up from behind a low bookcase. She throws a wad of wet toilet paper with the transmitters, and it hits the assassin on his back. He spins around to look what direction he was hit from.", "Boss: Adjust! Right ten degrees! Fire!", "Cut to the hall. The assassin there starts to shoot through the wall.", "Cut to the room. The other one turns toward the fire and shoots back. They keep shooting at each other through the wall until they hit each other and die.", "Cut to their boss. The targets on his screen disappear, and he assumes that his targets have been eliminated.", "Boss: (smiles) I won! He chuckles and snaps his fingers in triumph.", "Cut to the classroom. Buffy looks at the destroyed windows from behind the cover of the bookcase.", "Cut to city hall. Cut to the Mayor's office. A police officer escorts Trick in and shoves him to the center of the room. Mayor Wilkins looks up, smiles and offers his hand in greeting.", "Mayor Wilkins: Hello! Nice to meet you.", "Trick: (ignores the hand) Yeah, hi, it's a pleasure. Where am I?", "Mayor Wilkins: (withdraws his hand) In my office. I'm Richard Wilkins. I'm the Mayor of Sunnydale. And you're... (points at him) Mr. Trick. (indicates a chair) Please, sit down. He walks around to the other side of his desk. Trick takes a seat.", "Mayor Wilkins: That's an exciting suit.", "Trick: Well, clothes make the man.", "Mayor Wilkins: Well, as I understand it, you're not a man... exactly. (Trick nods) Mr. Trick, I've been the Mayor for quite some time. I like things to run smoothly. This is a very important year for me.", "Trick: Election year.", "Mayor Wilkins: Something like that.", "Trick: If this is the part where you tell me that I don't fit in here in your quiet little neighborhood, you can just skip it 'cause, see, that all got old long before I became a vampire. Do you know what I'm saying?", "Mayor Wilkins: Do you have children? (Trick just smiles) Children are the heart of a community. (walks around his desk again) They need to be looked after. Controlled. (sits on his desk) The more rebellious element needs to be dealt with. The children are our future. We need them. *I* need them.", "Trick: If this rebellious element means who I think it does, then that problem may be taken care of this very night.", "Mayor Wilkins: So I've heard. (chuckles) That's a very enterprising idea you have: SlayerFest. (laughs) I love that name, by the way. You see, *that's* the kind of initiative I need on my team.", "Trick: What if I don't wanna be a part of the team?", "Mayor Wilkins: Oh, no, that won't be an issue. Trick just gives him an even stare. The Mayor reaches onto his desk for a thin plastic box and opens the lid.", "Mayor Wilkins: See, you and I are gonna get along very well. (offers the box to Trick) Moist towelette?", "Cut to the Bronze. The time to announce the Homecoming Queen has arrived. The band's drummer gives a brief drumroll to get everyone's attention as Devon steps up to the mic.", "Devon: Hey, guys, the moment we've all been waiting for.", "Cut to the crowd. Devon goes on with some minor announcements before naming this year's queen. Willow gives Oz a concerned look.", "Willow: They're gonna announce the Queen. Where are they? What's keeping them? Oz notices Buffy and Cordelia work their way through the crowd behind them. They are still dirty and disheveled from their ordeal.", "Oz: I'm gonna go with mud wrestling.", "Xander: Oh, God! What did you two do to each other?", "Buffy: Long story.", "Cordelia: Got hunted.", "Buffy: Apparently not that long. Willow looks at the two of them in disbelief.", "Buffy: Tell you one thing, though: you don't wanna mess with Cordelia.", "Xander: (laughs and gets a look from Cordelia) No. Another drumroll gets their attention.", "Devon: In this envelope, I hold the name of this year's Homecoming Queen. He gets a few calls from the crowd. Before opening the envelope he makes another announcement about an after-party.", "Cordelia: After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who- gets-to-be-queen capade seems pretty...", "Buffy: Damn important.", "Cordelia: Oh, yeah.", "Devon: And the winner is... He opens the envelope and checks the name.", "Devon: Hey, I believe we have a first for Sunnydale High. We have a tie. Buffy and Cordelia exchange a look and smile.", "Devon: The winners are Holly Charleston and Michelle Blake! Buffy and Cordelia's smiles fade. Michelle and Holly push between them to get to the stage. Everyone in the crowd applauds as the two queens make their way to the stage. Cordelia and Buffy can't believe it. On the stage Devon holds up the Homecoming tiara, and waves it first over Michelle's head, then Holly's. The crowd continues to applaud. Michelle steps up to the mic.", "Michelle: I'm just so honored! (giggles) Buffy and Cordelia exchange another look, roll their eyes and turn to go.", "Michelle: I can't believe it! I mean, that you would pick me... or us... out of every girl in the whole school! It's just... it's so wonderful! Cordelia rolls her eyes again as the two of them leave.", "Michelle: (starts to weep) I promised myself I'm not gonna cry..." ]

[ "A candy created by Ethan Rayne ( Robin Sachs ) causes Sunnydale's adults to behave like teenagers. Buffy confronts Rayne and makes him tell her about a plan to sacrifice Sunnydale newborns to a monster in the sewers." ]

[ "Prologue: Sunnydale cemetery at night. The camera is high above and angled down sharply on Buffy sitting on a blanket with her legs covered by another one, and Giles behind a nearby gravestone. He has a book open and reads from it as the camera pans down and pulls in until it is level with him.", "Giles: 'And on that tragic day, an era came to its inevitable end.' That's all there is. Are you ready?", "Buffy: Hit me.", "Giles: Which of the following best expresses the theme of the passage? A) Violence breeds violence, B) All things must end, C)... Buffy looks down at her answer sheet and fills in a bubble with her No. 2 pencil.", "Buffy: 'B'. I'm going with 'B'. We haven't had 'B' in forever.", "Giles: (exasperated) This is the SATs, Buffy, not connect-the-dots. Please pay attention. A low score could seriously harm your chances of getting into college.", "Buffy: Gee, thanks. That takes the pressure right off.", "Giles: This isn't meant to be easy, you know. It's a rite of passage.", "Buffy: Well, is it too late to join a tribe where they just pierce something or cut something off?", "Giles: Buffy, please concentrate. (looks back at his book) She sees a vampire approach behind him.", "Buffy: Roll! She tosses her notebook and answer sheet off of her lap and scrambles out from under her blanket and to her feet.", "Giles: (looks up) What? He sees her rushing toward him, instantly realizes that he needs to get out of the way and shoulder rolls onto the ground out of danger. Buffy vaults herself over the gravestone, finishing in a roundoff to the ground, and without a moment's hesitation side kicks the advancing vampire in the stomach. He goes flying backward, landing hard on his back. Buffy rushes him, grabs his legs and pushes them up, forcing him into a back roll away from her. The vampire ends up in a standing position and tries to punch her, but misses her entirely. She tries a punch, but he middle blocks her and takes a swing with his free hand at her face. She ducks both it and the next punch he throws. She straightens back up and roundhouse kicks him in the side, but he keeps his balance and tries to roundhouse kick her in turn. She ducks it, and his momentum carries him around in a spin. He comes to a stop facing her and tries to punch her in the face, but she grabs onto his arm and blocks his next punch. He brings his free hand up again, but she smashes her forearm down to block it. Seeing an opening, Buffy takes her pencil and stabs him cleanly in the chest. She pulls it back out, and the vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy starts back to her blanket. She looks at the tip of her pencil and sees that it's broken.", "Buffy: Hmm. I broke my No. 2 pencil. We'll have to do this again sometime. Giles extends his hand to her holding a sharpened No. 2 pencil.", "Giles: C) All systems tend towards chaos. She flips her broken pencil at him and snatches the new one from his hand. Giles watches her old pencil fly by him and hit the ground next to him. Buffy sits back down cross-legged on her blanket and picks up her notebook and answer sheet.", "Buffy: I just know that us and the undead are the only people in Sunnydale working this late. She pouts up at Giles and waits for him to start reading again.", "Cut to Sunnydale City Hall.", "Mayor Wilkins: I appreciate you coming. Cut inside to the Mayor's office. He's leaning on the backrest of his chair, smiling. He starts to walk out from behind his desk.", "Mayor Wilkins: I realize it is early... for you... but I think you'll agree that this matter is urgent, (stops next to Trick) also... delicate.", "Trick: I'm a very delicate person.", "Mayor Wilkins: So you feel you can handle this?", "Trick: (inhales) It's a little out of my element, but I can get you what you need. I know a beast who knows a guy.", "Mayor Wilkins: (heads over to a wall cabinet) Are you sure that subcontracting is the way to go here?", "Trick: Well, this guy's worked your town before, and if he lives up to his rep, (smiles) this place'll be in flames.", "Mayor Wilkins: I've made certain deals to get where I am today. This demon requires his tribute. (unlocks the cabinet) You see, that's what separates me from other politicians, Mr. Trick. He opens the cabinet. The shelves are full of occult paraphernalia: skulls, a fetus preserved in a bottle, various urns and chests, a shrunken head, the bones of a forearm and hand, and various tools of the trade. Trick looks uneasily at all of it from his vantage point by the Mayor's desk.", "Mayor Wilkins: I *keep* my campaign promises. He reaches in and takes out the shrunken head. He pulls on the tuft of hair at the top, and a small section of the head pulls open and folds back on the leathery skin. The Mayor takes a quick sniff from the hole and closes the flap of skull and skin again.", "Mayor Wilkins: Where'd I put that Scotch? (looks around) Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The quad at Sunnydale High. Buffy, Willow and Oz appear at the top of the outside stairs and start down.", "Buffy: And then I was being chased by an improperly filled-in answer bubble screaming, 'none of the above!'", "Willow: Wow. I hope that wasn't one of your prophecy dreams. (gets a look from Buffy) Probably not.", "Oz: Hey, you know, I took it last year. I could help you get ready. There's this whole trick to antonyms, but... this isn't the place.", "Willow: Oz is the highest-scoring person ever to fail to graduate. They reach the bottom of the stairs and continue to walk along the colonnade.", "Buffy: Isn't she cute when she's proud?", "Oz: She's always cute. Cordelia and Xander come out through the breezeway and walk behind them.", "Willow: We could work on it tonight.", "Xander: Work on what tonight?", "Cordelia: Oh, God. Are we killing something again?", "Buffy: Only my carefree spirit.", "Oz: Buffy SAT prep.", "Willow: Oz is helping. (smiling proudly) He's the highest-scoring...", "Cordelia: (interrupts) We know. We did the impressed thing already. Willow frowns.", "Xander: I hate they make us take that thing. It's totally fascist, and personally, I think it, uh, discriminates against the uninformed.", "Cordelia: Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I do well on standardized tests. She gets looks from everyone.", "Cordelia: What? I can't have layers?", "Cut to the hall doors near the cafeteria. The group enters.", "Willow: So, Buff, study tonight?", "Buffy: Uh, yes on the studying, no on tonight. I'm putting in Mom time. She's been drastic ever since I got back. And Giles is even worse. I'm supervised 24-7. They turn into the cafeteria.", "Buffy: It's like being in the Real World house, only real.", "Willow: Hmm. They see a table piled up with boxes of Milkbar fund-raiser chocolate bars. Other students are each taking a box as Snyder checks their names off on his clipboard.", "Willow: Ooh, candy bars! Lots of 'em! Snyder holds out a box.", "Xander: Principal Snyder, thank you! (takes the box) You weren't visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, by any chance?", "Snyder: It's band candy.", "Buffy: Let's hear it for the band, huh? Very generous.", "Snyder: You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms.", "Xander: Yeah. Those tall, fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?", "Oz: But they go with everything. Willow smiles at that.", "Buffy: I'm sure we love the idea of going all Willy Loman, but we're not in the band.", "Snyder: And if I'd handed you a trombone, that would've been a problem, Summers. (holds out a box) It's candy. (she takes it) Sell it. He walks off leaving them all staring at their boxes.", "Cut to the kitchen at Buffy's house. She and her mother are eating Chinese food for dinner at the island.", "Joyce: But you're not in the band.", "Buffy: And yet.", "Joyce: Buffy, what would I do with forty chocolate bars?", "Buffy: You could hand them out at the Gallery. 'Buy something Pre- Columbian, get a free cavity.' Her mother considers, and decides it can't hurt to at least help.", "Joyce: Twenty. She hands her daughter back the box.", "Buffy: You're a good mom. (sets down the box)", "Joyce: I'm the best.", "Buffy: (picks up her glass) No, I'm pretty sure the best moms let their daughters drive. She takes a sip of her water, eyeing her mother hopefully.", "Joyce: And yet.", "Buffy: (sets down her glass) Oh, come on!", "Joyce: (gets up) Look, let's not have this conversation. (goes to the fridge)", "Buffy: But I took the class. I watched the filmstrips with the blood and the death and the corpses. I'm prepped.", "Joyce: (opens the fridge) Honey, (grabs the water jug) you failed the written test. (pours herself more) They wouldn't even let you *take* the road test. (puts the water back)", "Buffy: That was a year ago. And I don't test well... she said, two days before the SATs.", "Joyce: (comes back to her seat) I spend enough time not knowing where you are. (sits) I don't wanna add to that the possibility that you're on the highway to Chicago. (takes a drink)", "Buffy: (dumbfounded) I can't believe you. I'm *not* taking off again. (shrugs) Besides, if I wanted to, I could just get on a bus.", "Joyce: Stop. (inhales) Don't. (exhales and looks at Buffy intensely) I just don't want you driving, okay? I want you here.", "Buffy: (widens her eyes) I'm here. Hmm? (picks up her egg roll) See me here. (takes a bite) Mm-hm? Joyce nods and turns back to her plate.", "Buffy: (with her mouth full) Mm... I gotta go. (gets up and grabs her box of candy bars)", "Joyce: What, you're going out?", "Buffy: (turns back at the door) Giles. Slay-study double feature. Could be late.", "Joyce: Again? Honey, don't you think Mr. Giles is monopolizing an awful lot of your time?", "Buffy: And does he ever say he's sorry?", "Cut to the library. Giles is tying a blindfold tightly around Buffy's head.", "Buffy: Ow!", "Giles: Sorry.", "Buffy: Why do I put up with this?", "Giles: Because it is your destiny... (walks around her) and because I just bought twenty 'cocorific' candy bars. (hands her a large rubber ball)", "Buffy: Okay, you're just doing this to take funny pictures of me.", "Giles: (walks around her) I'm doing it to test your awareness of an opponent's location during a fight in total darkness. Now, wait five seconds and then throw the ball at me. He silently backtracks and takes several steps away from her toward the cage.", "Buffy: You ran out of new training ideas about a week ago, huh? Okay. Five, four, three, two, one. She turns around and faces the door to Giles' office. He smiles, thinking she's completely clueless as to where he is. Buffy throws the ball. It hits the wall high above the checkout counter and bounces off.", "Giles: It's not that simple, is it... The ball bumps him in the side of the head.", "Giles: Ow. Ahem. Yes, well, very good.", "Buffy: (takes off the blindfold) Thanks! (heads out of the library)", "Giles: W-w-w-where are you going? We have to patrol!", "Buffy: (stops and faces him) I can't. Mom's in hyperdrive. She wants me home tonight. I told you. (starts out again)", "Giles: But, I...", "Buffy: (stops by the door) I know, I know. She's out of control. Enjoy the candy! (leaves) Giles looks at the swinging library door for a moment, considering her odd behavior.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Cut inside. The door to the atrium is open. The camera slowly tracks toward it. Soon a shirtless Angel is in view, practicing the slow, elegant forms of T'ai Chi. He brings his arms down together in front of him and then over to his right. As he brings his left arm up across his abdomen, he crosses his right arm over his left. His motions remains fluid as he slowly moves his left arm out in front of him, palm up, and extends his right arm out to his side. He draws his arms together again, this time crossing his left arm over his right and repeats a mirror image of his last move. Never stopping his motion, he brings both hands to his waist, palms facing forward, and slowly raises his right arm and sweeps it across in front of himself, palm down, while he sweeps his left arm across below his right, palm up. Buffy walks into the doorway and stops just to watch him, amazed at the fluidity and smoothness of his motions. Angel doesn't notice her, and continues the exercises. He has his arms extended, his left hand angled up sharply from his forearm, and his right hand clasping the heel of his left. He brings them around in a broad sweeping motion toward Buffy and then raises them, separates them and spreads them apart with his palms facing away from him. He raises his head as he does so and sees Buffy standing there watching him.", "Angel: Buffy. She looks down briefly, slightly embarrassed to be caught watching him like that, and then looks up at him again with a little smile on her lips.", "Buffy: I didn't know you could do that. He gives her the briefest glimpse of a small smile as he tries to straighten himself up from his slightly bent stance.", "Angel: I-I'm feeling better. He can't maintain his posture, and bends back over, supporting himself with his right hand on his knee. Buffy rushes to his aid.", "Buffy: Angel... She gets under his left arm and helps him stand up straight.", "Buffy: Let's... get you inside. They slowly make their way back into the mansion. Cut inside. There is a warm fire going in the fireplace. Buffy picks up a small paper bag as they go past the coffee table in front of it.", "Angel: It's late. How'd you get away?", "Buffy: Aw, it was easy. Started a fire in the prison laundry room. Rode out in the garbage truck. They stop and let go. Angel faces Buffy, not sure what to make of that.", "Angel: Oh. He sits on the edge of the couch.", "Buffy: I'm joking. (raises her right hand and waves it) No garbage. Smell me. She steps closer to him, but stops. Angel just looks up at her. She lowers her arm and sighs. She puts the bag down next to him and steps over to an adjacent couch set at a right angle to his, and sits also, but very stiffly. Angel leans back on his cushions.", "Angel: How is, uh... Scott?", "Buffy: Scott? (smiles weakly and looks down) Oh, um... boyfriend Scott. Uh... (inhales deeply) A-actually, he's not... (looks up at him) He's fine. (exhales and nods) Angel gives her a little nod. Buffy indicates the bag she left next to him.", "Buffy: Uh, that's for you. Angel reaches for it.", "Buffy: Uh... I-it's fresh from the butcher.", "Angel: Thanks. He reaches in and takes out a quart-sized plastic tub of blood. He gives it a brief look, then slips it back into the bag and sets it aside. Buffy looks away shyly, knowing he doesn't want to eat in front of her.", "Angel: You're being careful, right?", "Buffy: (looks up surprised) With Scott?", "Angel: The slaying.", "Buffy: Oh. (smiles and exhales) Uh... Yeah. Of course. (nodding a lot) Full of carefulness.", "Angel: (looks down) I worry about you. (looks at her)", "Buffy: (pauses briefly) I worry about *you*. He stares down again for a moment, stroking the cushions.", "Angel: I'm getting stronger.", "Buffy: (gives him a little smile) Yeah, pretty soon, you won't even need me.", "Angel: (nods a little) That'll be better.", "Buffy: (unsure how to take that) Yeah. They continue to sit in silence.", "Cut to Buffy's house. She opens the front door and comes in. She swings it closed behind her and sets her books down on the table by the coat rack. She turns around and is startled by her mother standing by the stairs and looking at her unusually calmly while rubbing her fingers over a chocolate bar in her hands.", "Buffy: Hey! (thinks fast) Uh, sorry I'm late. You know Giles. All slay, all the time. Giles steps into view from the dining room with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face.", "Giles: Hello, Buffy.", "Buffy: (gestures into the living room) Do you guys wanna watch some television? I hear there's a very insightful Nightline on.", "Joyce: Buffy, you lied to us. And you made us into your alibis. That's... playing us against each other, and that's not fair.", "Giles: I called Willow. (Buffy is at a loss) You also lied to her about your whereabouts. We were all concerned. Joyce unwraps her chocolate bar and holds it out to Giles to take a piece.", "Giles: Oh, thank you. (breaks off a piece)", "Buffy: Look, I'm sorry, but I had to... She turns around and walks into the living room. Joyce follows her, and Giles also a few paces behind.", "Joyce: Were you at the Bronze? What was happening there that was so important? Buffy stops, lets out an exasperated sigh and turns to face her mother.", "Buffy: (gestures and shrugs) Bronze things. Things of Bronze. Joyce chews on a piece of her chocolate bar.", "Joyce: (condescendingly) You're acting really immature, Buffy.", "Giles: (also chewing) I know I'm not your parent, but I am responsible for you. I think your mum's right. (sits on a couch armrest)", "Buffy: Okay, fine. I'm acting like a child. Maybe that's because you're both treating me like a child.", "Joyce: (sounding hurt) Buffy!", "Buffy: You're both scheduling me twenty-four hours a day. Between the two of you, that's forty-eight hours. (Giles takes off his glasses) I just wanna be able to make a few decisions on my own.", "Joyce: The last time you made a decision on your own, you split. (pops another piece of candy)", "Buffy: Yeah, and I took care of myself. I don't need this much active parenting.", "Joyce: (incredulous) You can't really be trying to use this summer as a reason you should be trusted. (eats another piece)", "Buffy: You can't babysit me all the time. I need you to back off a little.", "Giles: (holds up his hand) Uh, alright, come on. Let's, let's not, uh, freak out.", "Buffy: (taken aback) 'Freak out'?", "Giles: Mm-hm. (stands up) Uh, I think you should go to bed. (puts his glasses back on) Um, we're all tired. Buffy just looks at the two of them as though they're crazy. She faces away for a moment and then walks off to her room. Her mother watches her go, shaking her head.", "Joyce: Oh, she just drives me crazy! She sighs and crumbles up the end of the candy wrapper and drops it onto the coffee table. Giles scratches his head and steps back over to the couch to sit. Joyce goes to join him.", "Joyce: I just want to protect her. They both sit down. The camera lowers its angle.", "Giles: Don't all parents want that? He reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out a candy bar of his own. There is an entire box of them on the coffee table next to various picture books. He starts to unwrap his bar.", "Joyce: Yeah, but at least most parents have some idea what to protect their children from.", "Giles: Yeah. And I think we should both be especially careful. He breaks off a piece, sticks it into his mouth and hands the rest to Joyce.", "Joyce: Mm. She takes a piece and munches on it. Giles reaches into the box on the table for yet another bar.", "Cut to the Milkbar factory, makers of \"The Best Chocolate Bar\", according to the box. A worker opens the top box of an as yet unsealed case and reaches in for a bar. He pulls back the outer wrapper, looks around to see if anyone is watching, and starts to peel back the foil when suddenly Ethan Rayne comes up behind him and puts his hand on his shoulder.", "Ethan: Trust me. (steps around the worker to face him) You don't want to eat that. Ethan walks off as the worker quickly puts the bar back into its box before it gets sealed for shipping. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Study hall in the science classroom. A boy throws a wad of paper at another.", "Boy: Think fast. The target boy almost manages to catch the paper, snags it as it's about to roll from the table and sets it aside. A moment later he takes it again and looks back at the boy who threw it, watching for an opening. The camera closes in on Cordelia and Buffy sitting at the table behind him.", "Cordelia: (sighs) I heard that there was a secret rule that if a teacher's more than ten minutes late, we can all leave.", "Buffy: (looks up from studying) It's Giles' turn to watch study hall. He'll be here. (looks back at her book) He's allergic to late.", "Cordelia: (sighs) He is wound a little tight. I had this philosophy book checked out from the library for, like, a year, and he made me pay the fine, even though it was huge. (Buffy gives her a look) I was sad to return it. (smiles) It was perfect for starting conversations with college boys. (lets out a little laugh) Of course, that was B.X.", "Buffy: B.X.? (gets a nod from Cordelia) Before Xander. Clever. They both go back to their studying. Willow and Xander are at the table behind them. Xander is busy munching on a chocolate bar. The books in front of him are closed.", "Xander: I like chocolate. (Willow looks at him) There is no bad here.", "Willow: You still have some left? (shrugs) I went to, like, four houses, and they were gone. It's like Trick-or-Treating in reverse.", "(smiles at him)", "Xander: I know. These things are selling like hot cakes... (they look at each other) which is ironic, 'cause the hot cakes really aren't moving...", "The camera descends below the lab table. Their knees are touching. They each dangle a leg from their stools and brush them against each other.", "Xander: And it's, uh, ahem, fun to sell chocolate. Ahem. Willow rubs her calf along Xander's shin. Cut back above.", "Willow: And we're raising a lot of money for the band. Xander looks back and forth between Willow and his chocolate bar a few times, then focuses on his candy. Willow plays with her pencil while looking at her book.", "Xander: The band. Yeah. They're great. They march. Cut below the table. They continue to rub their legs together.", "Willow: Like an army. (cut above) (very distracted) E-e-except with music instead of bullets, and... usually no one dies. Cut below. They rub their shoes against each other with their legs still crossed. Cut above. Cordelia suddenly turns to face them.", "Cordelia: I can't believe this. Cut below. Willow and Xander immediately whip their legs apart. Cut above. They both hit opposite legs of the table and make it lurch with a loud thunk and pray that they haven't given themselves away.", "Cordelia: Where is Giles already? I'm bored, and he's not here to give me credit for it. Buffy looks over at the classroom door, suddenly concerned.", "Cut to the halls. Principal Snyder and Ms. Barton are walking toward the classroom. Snyder has a chocolate bar in his hands.", "Snyder: The big pinhead librarian didn't show up, and I don't wanna do it. (points at her with his candy bar) You do it.", "Ms. Barton: Alright, fine. I'll do it. She turns to go into the room and rolls her eyes.", "Snyder: (to himself) Everybody expects me to do everything around here because I'm the principal. (starts to walk) It's not fair. Cut into the science room. Ms. Barton comes in and claps her hands a few times to get the students' attention.", "Ms. Barton: Hey! We're all stuck here, okay? So now let's just sit quietly and, (indicates a book on the teacher's desk and smiles) and pretend we're reading something (Buffy is confused) until we're really sure that old Commandant Snyder's gone. Then we're all outta here!", "(smiles widely)", "Xander: Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton?", "Cordelia: Get in line.", "Willow: I guess Giles isn't coming?", "Buffy: (very concerned) I guess not.", "Cut to outside Giles' apartment. Buffy walks up to the door and stops.", "She peers in through the view port, sees Giles and goes in. Cut inside. Giles is crouched by a cabinet where he keeps his vinyl record collection, looking at an album. Buffy comes in and closes the door behind her. The sound gets Giles' attention, and he looks up.", "Giles: Buffy. He slips the record into the cabinet. The camera cuts behind him and slowly pans right past his couch where Joyce is sitting.", "Buffy: (walks in) Uh... sorry. I... I was just worried. You were a big not-there in study hall, and after your lecture to me on not ducking out... (confused) and what is my mother doing here? Giles steps over to Joyce.", "Giles: (with a mouth full of chocolate) We had an opportunity for, um, you might say, a summit meeting. It took priority over study hall. I called in.", "Buffy: (still confused) Oh.", "Joyce: We decided that you made a good point earlier, honey. She and Giles both nod.", "Buffy: I did. Yeah. (very confused now) Which was...?", "Joyce: A-about us overscheduling you. (looks to Giles for support)", "Giles: Pulling you in two directions, (sits on the coffee table) uh, your home life and your duties as a Slayer.", "Buffy: Oh. That was a good point.", "Joyce: We're working out a coordinated schedule for you.", "Giles: It'll be tight, but, uh, I think we can fit in all your responsibilities. (smiles)", "Buffy: (gives them an uncertain smile) Sounds nice and structured.", "Joyce: We've got more work to do here, honey. Why don't you give us a little more time? Giles gets up and walks over to the fireplace mantel to stare at a picture. Joyce reaches into her purse, pulls out her car keys and stands up.", "Joyce: Um... Take the car, and, um, Mr. Giles can drive me home. (holds out the keys)", "Buffy: (wide-eyed) What? (smiles and shakes her head) Excuse me, I meant what?!", "Joyce: Keys. Take them.", "Buffy: You don't have to tell *me* twice. Well, actually, you did, but... (snatches the keys) bye! (rushes out)", "Joyce: Bye, honey. Drive careful.", "Buffy: (opens the door) Uh-huh! She runs out the door without looking back, pulling it closed behind her. Joyce turns to face Giles.", "Joyce: Do you think she noticed anything? He turns to face her. A cigarette dangles from his lips. He lights his lighter.", "Giles: No way! He holds the flame to his cigarette. Joyce smiles and reaches down for a bottle that she had squirreled away under the end table. She twists off the cap. Giles closes his lighter and takes a drag. He takes the cigarette out of his mouth and takes a deep breath.", "Cut to a residential street later that night. Buffy and Willow are driving along in Joyce's Jeep.", "Willow: Tell me again how it happened.", "Buffy: Told my mom I wanted to be treated more like a grownup, and voila: (smiles) driviness. She takes a corner without slowing down, and skids around it. That shakes up Willow, and she begins to breathe nervously.", "Buffy: Also, I think she wanted me otherwhere. Considering my mom and Giles are planning my future, I think it's easier for them to live my life if I'm not actually there.", "Willow: (notices the parking brake) Do you know that you have the parking brake on?", "Buffy: Uh-huh. She releases the parking brake. The engine suddenly begins to rev much higher, and they accelerate.", "Willow: (nervously) Are, are you sure about the Bronze? I mean, the SATs are tomorrow.", "Buffy: I can study at the Bronze. (smiles) A little dancing, a little cross-multiplying. (smiles wickedly) You know what we need? She reaches over, turns on the radio and begins to turn the station dial. In the process she bends over too low to see over the dashboard.", "Willow: Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road! While changing stations, Buffy doesn't realize that she is pulling on the steering wheel, and the car makes a wide left turn, but fortunately onto another road, and so doesn't hit anything.", "Cut to Giles apartment. He's lying on his back on the floor, coat and tie gone, shirt unbuttoned to reveal his undershirt, getting ready to light a pair of cigarettes as he grooves to the sound of Cream singing \"Tales of Brave Ulysses\" on vinyl playing on his record player. Joyce is sitting cross-legged in front of his record cabinet looking through his albums as she grooves also.", "Joyce: You got good albums.", "Giles: Yeah, they're okay. (lights the cigarettes)", "Lyrics: And the colors of the sea bind your eyes with trembling mermaids", "Joyce: Do you like Seals and Croft? Giles turns his head to give her a look.", "Lyrics: And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses", "Joyce: Yeah, me neither. Giles hands her one of the smokes.", "Lyrics: How his naked ears were tortured by the sirens sweetly singing", "Joyce: Thanks. (takes a drag)", "Lyrics: For the sparkling waves are calling you", "Joyce: So how come they, uh, call you Ripper?", "Lyrics: To kiss their white-laced lips", "Giles: (sits up) Wouldn't you like to know. The song goes into a guitar riff between verses.", "Giles: Hmm, wait a minute. Listen to this bit. He gets into it, smiling, bobbing his head and waving his cigarette to the beat. Behind him Joyce takes another drag.", "Giles: It rocks!", "Lyrics: And you see a girl's brown body", "Joyce: It's good. Giles gets up and goes to look into the mirror above the record cabinet.", "Giles: Man, I gotta get a band together. He starts running his fingers through his hair.", "Lyrics: Dancing through the turquoise", "Joyce: (stands up) Hey, Ripper, you wanna watch TV?", "Lyrics: And her footprints make you follow where the sky loves the sea", "Joyce: (leans against the cabinet) I know how to order pay-per-view.", "Giles: (takes off his outer shirt) No, let's go out and have some fun.", "Lyrics: And when your fingers find her, she drowns you in her body", "Giles: Tear things up a bit.", "Joyce: Okay. We could go to the Bronze.", "Lyrics: Carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of your mind", "Giles: Not bloody likely. That place is dead.", "Cut to the Bronze. A guy has his head tilted back as the bartender pours orange juice and vodka directly into his mouth. His friends surround him and goad him on. There are unusual numbers of older people there. Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) is on the stage performing \"Violent\". The dance floor is very crowded with people of all ages. Even the older couples are dancing to the beat of the band. On stage Devon dances around to the lead-in. Just before the song begins he leans over to Oz.", "Devon: Hey, they're diggin' us, man!", "Cut to Willow and Buffy coming into the Bronze. They look around at the unusual mix of people in the crowd.", "Lyrics: The strangest things / I've always known Oz sees Willow and smiles.", "Lyrics: It slays me every time Willow and Buffy give each other very amazed and concerned looks.", "Lyrics: Darkened fields / Have overgrown Willow and Buffy continue through the crowd.", "Buffy: Let's do the time warp again.", "Lyrics: You want to lay me out?", "Willow: Maybe there's a reunion in town or, or a Billy Joel tour or something.", "Lyrics: Tie me down? / Tie me Ms. Barton walks past the two girls.", "Buffy: Ms. Barton?", "Ms. Barton: (stops and faces her) Buffy? Whoa!", "Lyrics: Our love", "Willow: Are you okay, Ms. Barton?", "Lyrics: Covered in my blood", "Ms. Barton: (smiles widely) Oh, I'm cool, Willow. (realizes) Willow... That's a tree. (giggles) You're a tree! Willow and Buffy exchange a look.", "Lyrics: Is so violent", "Ms. Barton: (looks around) Yeah, uh, uh, are there any nachos in here, little tree?", "Lyrics: Our love", "Buffy: A-are you sure you don't need some fresh air, Ms. Barton?", "Ms. Barton: (laughs hysterically) Okay... (goes into the crowd)", "Lyrics: Covered in my blood", "Willow: Hey, this is not normal. Buffy gives her a look.", "Lyrics: Is so violent", "Willow: Uh, w-well, maybe that goes without saying. Snyder spots them from behind and comes up between them.", "Snyder: (smiling hugely) Hey, gang! (puts his arms around the girls' shoulders) This place is Fun City, huh? (laughs)", "Buffy: Principal Snyder?", "Lyrics: Shake this scene / another one", "Snyder: Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like... (trying to be cool) Barbarino. He lets go of the girls and pumps his arms and fists around wildly. Willow leans slightly away from him.", "Snyder: Ooh! I'm so stoked! Willow has no idea what to make of this. Snyder comes back down from his outburst and lets out a breath.", "Lyrics: It plays me every time", "Snyder: Hey, did you see Ms. Barton? I think she's wasted.", "Lyrics: We're not that green", "Snyder: I'm gonna have to put that in her next performance review 'cause... (smiles) 'cause I'm the principal! (laughs)", "Lyrics: We're overdone Snyder turns around and heads back into the crowd.", "Lyrics: You want to lay me out?", "Willow: (to Buffy) I don't like this. They could have heart attacks.", "Lyrics: Tie me down?", "Buffy: Uh, well... ma-maybe there's a doctor here. An older, shirtless man jumps up onto the stage, pushes Devon away from the microphone stand and yells out into the crowd.", "Man: (yelling) Yeeeeaaaaaah!", "Willow: I think that *is* my doctor. The man jumps from the stage expecting to be caught by the crowd, but they don't react fast enough, and he slams into the floor. Willow and Buffy both cringe at the sight.", "Willow: He-he's usually less... topless. Snyder sticks his head between the girls.", "Snyder: I got a commendation for being principal. (impressed with himself) From the Mayor! (gestures) Shook my hand twice.", "Buffy: That's nice. Snyder nods and inhales deeply. Two attractive women walk past them with drinks. Snyder makes eyes at them.", "Snyder: Whoa! There are some foxy ladies here tonight! He heads off after them. Buffy and Willow walk in the other direction.", "Willow: What's happening?", "Buffy: I don't know, but it's happening to a whole lot of grownups. They stop by the stairs. Willow looks around at the crowd.", "Willow: They're acting like a bunch...", "Buffy: They're acting like a bunch of us.", "Lyrics: Our love", "Willow: (confused) I don't act like this.", "Lyrics: Covered in my blood", "Cut to the Milkbar factory. Boxes of chocolate bars keep rolling off of the line. Trick and Ethan walk through the shipping area.", "Trick: Demand's high.", "Ethan: I thought it might be.", "Trick: That's the reason I love this country. You make a good product, and the people will come to you. Of course, a lot of them are gonna die, but that's the other reason I love this country. They stop walking, and Trick steps over to the man inspecting the boxes before they get sealed.", "Trick: Hey! Don't sample the product.", "Man: But I didn't. Trick grabs him by the overalls, pulls him into a headlock and jerks his head around, breaking his neck and throwing him to the floor. Ethan looks away in distaste. Trick straightens his jacket and checks his pinky ring. They continue to walk.", "Ethan: Okay. Uh, how did you know he was...", "Trick: I don't. Now I know no one else will. (checks his watch) We're getting close. (to a line worker) Keep it flowing. (to Ethan) It's almost feeding time. He walks off leaving Ethan standing there staring after him. After a moment Ethan heads back the way they came.", "Cut to the Bronze. The Dingoes are between sets, and Oz has joined Willow and Buffy. They all observe the crowd. \"Slip Jimmy\", by Every Bit of Nothing, plays in the background.", "Buffy: Something's definitely changing them.", "Willow: A spell?", "Oz: They're teenagers. It's a sobering mirror to look into, huh? Snyder walks by, sees Oz and stops.", "Snyder: You've got great hair. He walks around Oz, smiling and staring at his hair. Suddenly the music stops and a group of older men start singing \"Louie Louie\" up on the stage. They are off key, out of sync and basically just plain terrible, but the crowd dances to them anyway.", "Old men: Louie Louie / Oh, baby / We gotta go / Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah / Louie Louie / Oh, baby / We gotta go / Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah An old nerd walks by as Buffy and Oz stare.", "Willow: It just gets more upsetting. Several older couples on the dance floor kiss passionately.", "Old men: Louie Louie / Oh, baby / We gotta go / Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", "Buffy: No vampire has ever been (points at the stage) *that* scary.", "Old men: Louie Louie / Oh baby / We gotta go Behind them a man staggers through the crowd, drunk and munching on a chocolate bar. He bumps into another man. They face each other and begin to pick a fight.", "Patron: Fight! Snyder turns to face the group, smiling and nodding his head vigorously.", "Snyder: Fight! Willow lets out a helpless sigh. Buffy starts to head out.", "Buffy: We've gotta figure out what's going on. This has Hellmouth fingerprints all over it. Willow and Oz follow her. She stops by a pinball machine where she sees a woman hold out a candy bar to her boyfriend. He takes a huge bite while he keeps playing the game. Their pause gives Snyder a chance to catch up after noticing they are leaving.", "Snyder: Hey, where are we going? The four of them leave the club. Cut outside. The three teenagers rush out and head for Joyce's car. Snyder is still inside.", "Snyder: Wait up, you guys! He comes out the door.", "Snyder: Hey! You guys aren't trying to ditch me, are ya? Buffy, Willow and Oz get into the Jeep. Snyder follows them.", "Oz: We should find Giles. He'll know what's going on, right? Snyder runs up to the passenger side of the car, and seeing the places are taken, he goes around to the driver's side.", "Buffy: Sure. Except for all we know, he's sweet sixteen again. (pulls on her seat belt)", "Willow: He's with your mom at his place. Buffy starts the car. Snyder opens the door behind her and gets in.", "Snyder: I said, wait up! (slams the door)", "Oz: Uh, Snyder...", "Buffy: No time. He's coming with us. She puts the car in gear and slams on the gas, burning some rubber in her hurry to get going.", "Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!", "Cut to a residential street. Two father types, one in his Volvo, the other in his Hyundai, are gunning their engines and munching on chocolate while waiting for the light to turn green. They look over at each other and nod and smile in anticipation of their race. They both take big bites out of their bars. A moment later the light turns, and they're off, tires screeching loudly as they race across the intersection and down the street.", "Cut to a playground in a park. The mailman is sitting on the carousel reading other people's mail. He laughs while he reads, then opens another one. Behind him couples are necking and chasing each other around. Near the jungle gym a couple of guys toss a Frisbee around.", "Cut to a street. Buffy and company come driving along at a fast clip. Cut inside the car.", "Willow: It'll be okay when we get to Giles'.", "Oz: Of course, I mean, even if he's sixteen, he's still Giles, right? He's probably a pretty together guy.", "Willow: (worried) Yeah, well...", "Oz: What?", "Buffy: Giles at sixteen? Less Together Guy, more Bad-Magic-Hates-The- World-Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.", "Oz: Well, then I guess your mom's in a lotta trouble. Snyder raises his eyebrows and nods.", "Cut to the shopping district. Giles and Joyce walk along with their arms around each other.", "Joyce: Must be exciting being from England. (chews her gum)", "Giles: Not particularly. (kicks a can) You cold? (takes a puff of his cigarette)", "Joyce: Nah-uh. I feel... special, like I'm just waking up, kinda.", "Giles: Oh, yeah?", "Joyce: Yeah, like, uh, getting married and having a kid and everything was just a dream, and now things are back like they're supposed to be.", "Giles: Yeah? They walk past a boutique with some retro clothes on display in the window, and stop to look. Joyce spies a feathered wrap.", "Joyce: That's cool! (nods, smiles, chews) Very Juice Newton.", "Giles: (checks his hair in the reflection) You fancy it?", "Joyce: Yeah, but the store's closed. Giles takes a final drag from his cigarette, then tosses it aside. He grabs a trashcan and idly swings it toward the store's display window. Joyce quickly steps away. The glass shatters and falls everywhere when the can hits, and an alarm goes off. Joyce smiles widely and giggles hysterically while Giles climbs in and takes the wrap off of the mannequin. He grabs the hat from the mannequin as well and sets it on his head. Joyce looks around to see if anyone is coming. Giles comes back out and hops down to the sidewalk from the window opening.", "Giles: Woo-hoo!", "Joyce: Oh, Ripper! Wow, that was sooo brave! He helps her on with the wrap. Suddenly a policeman appears behind them and aims his gun at them.", "Officer: Hold it! Giles and Joyce freeze.", "Cut to an intersection. The camera starts high, showing that the light is green, and pans down to the gang driving along. Cut inside the car.", "Snyder: This is great! Let's do doughnuts in the football field, huh? They head into the intersection. Another Jeep comes in the other direction. The driver is too busy trying to get a chocolate bar unwrapped to realize that his light is red.", "Willow: Oh, my God, look out! They all tense up for the impact. The other Jeep hits them hard on the left rear door and back panel, making them spin around a quarter turn.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The street in front of the boutique. The police officer has his Beretta 9mm aimed at Giles, who lets go of Joyce to face him. Joyce backs away slowly. Giles takes the hat from his head and tosses it aside. He steps toward the officer and waves his arms around, taunting him.", "Giles: Ooo... Copper's got a gun! He jumps around a bit, taunting the officer some more.", "Giles: You'll never use it, though, man.", "Officer: Will so. Giles spies a candy bar in the officer's front jacket pocket.", "Joyce: Ripper, be careful! This distracts the officer, and Giles bats his gun-holding hand aside, grabs it and holds onto it as he head-butts the older man in the forehead and knees him in the crotch and again in the gut. The cop doubles over in pain. Giles twists the officer's arm up above his head and takes the Beretta from him, and then knees him in the face. The cop falls over unconscious. Giles sticks the gun into the back of his pants.", "Giles: Told him he'd never use it. (smiles) He sashays coolly over to Joyce as she leans against the police car.", "Joyce: You are sooo cool. (laughs) You're like Burt Reynolds. In a flash Giles has one hand around her neck and the other around her back. She startles and gasps, but doesn't struggle. Instead she takes the gum out of her mouth and they kiss passionately. Giles leans her back over the hood of the car. The camera follows her down and continues until it comes to rest on the emblem of the Sunnydale Police Department on the side of the car.", "Cut to Buffy's accident site. The two Jeeps are stopped side by side facing in opposite directions. The driver of the other Jeep quickly gets out.", "Man: Sorry! Gotta go! He runs off laughing as Buffy and the others get out of her mother's car. Her first instinct is to chase the man, but she lets him go and looks at the dent in the car.", "Buffy: Oh, God. She closes her door. Snyder swings his door closed as well, but it won't shut properly anymore.", "Buffy: Are you guys okay? Snyder nods as he also looks at the dents. Willow and Oz walk around the car.", "Willow: Is anybody else all creeped out and trembly? Off to the side they see three men sitting in the playground, laughing and smoking.", "Snyder: Oh, Buffy... (rubs his shoulder) Your mom's gonna kill you. Buffy looks at the other side of the street and sees five guys hanging out by a tree.", "Buffy: Something's weird.", "Oz: Something's not?", "Buffy: No grownups. Two women strut past the men by the tree, munching on chocolate. The guys give them catcalls. Snyder starts to unwrap a bar of his own.", "Buffy: No one's protecting their houses. Everyone's just... wandering. A man runs up behind Snyder, grabs his chocolate bar and runs off with it.", "Snyder: Hey! Willow and Oz stare at the man as he runs away.", "Snyder: Hey, give it! (goes after the man)", "Willow: Defenseless.", "Buffy: So where are all the vampires? They all consider this strange dilemma.", "Buffy: Soup's on, but no one's grabbing a spoon.", "Oz: Something's happening... someplace that's else.", "Buffy: I'd say something big.", "Snyder: (returns upset) That guy took my candy! Buffy suddenly gets it, and gives Willow and Oz an astonished look.", "Buffy: The candy. I-it's gotta be the candy! It's cursed. Willow and Oz exchange a look.", "Snyder: (worried) A curse?! Oh, I've got a curse.", "Willow: God, using candy for evil!", "Oz: My parents ate a ton. Buffy looks at Snyder and jumps at him, pushing him up against the other Jeep.", "Buffy: Who's behind it?", "Snyder: (confused) I don't know. It came through the school board. (shakes his head) If you knew that crowd...", "Buffy: (losing her patience) Where did it come from? Do you know where to get it?", "Snyder: Yeah.", "Buffy: (to Willow and Oz) You guys get Xander and Cordelia. Go to the library and look it up.", "Oz: Candy curses?", "Willow: Disturbing second childhood. Got it. She takes Oz's hand, and they start on their way.", "Buffy: (to Snyder) Ratboy and I are going to the source. She shoves him toward the car.", "Cut to the loading dock behind the Milkbar factory. Two men have cases of chocolate open and are throwing them out into a crowd. The camera pans over the crowd, which is getting larger and rowdier by the minute, past Giles and Joyce, who are into some serious snogging, and comes to rest on Joyce's Jeep as Buffy pulls it to a screeching halt. She and Snyder get out and march over to the crowd. Just as she passes her mother and Watcher, Buffy stops in her tracks. She turns to face them.", "Buffy: Mom? Giles?!", "Giles: (not skipping a beat) Go away. We're busy.", "Buffy: Mom! She pulls her mother away from her Watcher.", "Joyce: Hey!", "Buffy: (shocked) Where did you get that coat? Never mind. Listen... Giles grabs her arm and turns her to face him.", "Giles: Back off!", "Buffy: Giles, think about this. You wanna fight me, or you wanna let me talk to my mother? Giles realizes he wouldn't have a chance against her and backs down, yanking his hand from her and up to the side of his face, where he grabs a cigarette from behind his ear. Buffy turns back to her mother as Giles puts the cigarette into his mouth and reaches into his pocket for his lighter.", "Buffy: Mom, look at me. Do you know who I am? Giles lights his smoke.", "Joyce: (smiles) Of course. You're Buffy. (looks over at the crowd) Hey, look. They're, they're giving away candy. You want some candy?", "Buffy: No, I don't! And you don't need any more, either.", "Joyce: (very annoyed) I'm fine. I can have more if I want.", "Buffy: You are *not* fine. You need to go home.", "Joyce: (angry now) Screw you. I want candy!", "Buffy: Mom!", "Joyce: You wanna slay stuff, and *I'm* not allowed to do anything about it. Well, this is what *I* wanna do, so get off my back!", "Buffy: Mom, please, this is...", "Giles: (reaches for Joyce) Oh, for God's sake. (pulls her away) Just let your mum have the sodding candy. C'mon, Joyce... Buffy holds her mother back and points at her black Jeep Cherokee.", "Buffy: Mom, look at your car. Look at that dent the size of New Brunswick. I did that. Joyce can't believe her eyes. Behind her Giles takes a drag on his cigarette.", "Joyce: Oh, my God. (grossed out) What was I thinking when I bought the *Geek* Machine? Giles busts up laughing. Buffy can't believe her response. She gives up and steps over to Giles.", "Buffy: Listen to me. You need...", "Giles: (interrupts) No, you listen to me. (points at her) I'm your Watcher, so you do what I tell you. (points at the Jeep) Now, sod off! Buffy grabs the cigarette from his mouth, throws it down and stomps it out.", "Buffy: (sternly) Take her home. She heads for the crowd. Giles grabs Joyce's hand and starts after her.", "Giles: Joyce... Buffy pushes her way through the crowd toward the loading dock. She steps up on a crate and dispatches one of the men tossing candy to the crowd by punching him in the back of the knee. He crumples and falls off of the end of the dock. Buffy log rolls onto the platform and flips up to her feet. The other man throws away the box of candy bars he just grabbed, and Buffy ducks, thinking that it's being thrown at her. The man tries to punch her, but she punches him in the side and then backhand punches him in the face, following up with two more punches to the gut and the face. She ducks his attempt at a punch and roundhouse kicks him in the back, knocking him into the factory wall. She grabs onto his shirt, spins halfway around and launches him off of the dock and into the air towards another wall. He hits it hard and slides to the pavement. She sees Giles and her mother at the base of the dock stuffing chocolate bars into their pockets, and goes over to them.", "Buffy: Mom! She grabs her by the arms and pulls her up.", "Joyce: Hey!", "Giles: (looks up) Oy! You leave her alone! Buffy kicks in the door to the factory as Giles hops up onto the dock. He follows Buffy and Joyce into the building. In the crowd Snyder sees them go.", "Snyder: Hey, Brit-face! Wait up! He scrambles to join them. Cut inside. Buffy pulls her mother into the shipping area and lets go of her.", "Buffy: Stay. The place is piled to the ceiling with cases of Milkbars. Buffy looks around to see what she can find. Across the room from the conveyor where the boxes are sealed, she sees a man on a phone, listening. He's there alone. Giles and Snyder come into the shipping area behind her.", "Snyder: It smells so chocolatey. Buffy approaches the man on the phone.", "Giles: This is far out. The man starts talking into the phone.", "Ethan: Yeah, I've been out there. Town's wide open. You guys can go anytime. Buffy immediately recognizes the voice and crosses her arms as she closes the distance between them.", "Buffy: Ethan Rayne. He turns to face her, and his eyes go wide with surprise. Upon hearing the name, Giles approaches him also. Joyce is close behind. Together the three of them make an imposing sight.", "Ethan: (into the phone, nervously) Might wanna hurry.", "Giles: Ethan.", "Ethan: Ripper. He wastes no time breaking into a fast run. Buffy and Giles give immediate chase. Ethan runs under the inclined end of the conveyor and pulls a rack behind him to block their way, but the two of them just jump over the low end of it instead and continue the chase.", "Cut to the library. Oz and Xander are up in the stacks researching while Cordelia and Willow sit at the table looking through the more promising volumes.", "Cordelia: At first it was fun, you know? They seemed like they were in this really good mood--not like parents--and then...", "Willow: Badness?", "Cordelia: Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on lycra pants. And Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire. Xander comes down to the table with a couple more books.", "Xander: I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton, and I don't feel any dif... He gets looks from the girls.", "Xander: Never mind. He holds the two books out for Willow to choose.", "Willow: I'll take that one. She takes hold of a book, but her thumb ends up on Xander's, and they both feel the electricity between them as they allow the touch to linger longer than it needs to. They look at and then away from each other. Willow finally pulls the book from Xander's hand, and he heads back up the stairs with the other one. Cordelia stares into her book while Willow follows Xander with her gaze.", "Cordelia: You wanna swap?", "Willow: (startled) What? (confused) Swap?", "Cordelia: You wanna swap? This book is really thick, (trades with Willow) and I'm not sure it's in English. Willow goes back to her research, relieved that Cordelia didn't mean boyfriends.", "Cut to the Milkbar factory. Ethan runs through the maze of cases of candy bars. He reaches the end of an aisle and turns left. Buffy and Giles rush to keep up. They make several twists and turns, and finally Buffy comes around a corner to discover that she's lost him. Behind her Giles stops running, too, and breathes heavily to catch his breath.", "Giles: Where... Bloody Hell!", "Buffy: That's what smoking will do to you. Now be quiet.", "Giles: Well... Where'd the b*st*rd go?", "Buffy: (annoyed) Shh! She looks around and listens carefully. She goes around a corner and stops.", "Giles: What? Buffy pretends to go on, but then suddenly does a half-spinning hook kick into a crate. She yanks away a chunk of wood, reaches in and pulls Ethan's head out.", "Buffy: Look. A box full of farm-fresh chicken. Ethan gives her a nervous smile, but it quickly fades.", "Cut to Snyder and Joyce sitting on the conveyor. They are both munching on chocolate bars.", "Joyce: Do you suppose they're okay?", "Snyder: (chewing) Mm-hm. (keeps chewing) So... (chews) are you two kinda... (smacks his lips) like, um... (looks at her knees) goin' steady? Joyce rolls her eyes, sighs and hops down from the conveyor to get away from him. Snyder watches her go, sticks another piece of chocolate into his mouth and lets out a deep sigh.", "Cut to Buffy confronting Ethan.", "Buffy: So, Ethan, what are we playing? We're pretty much in a talk-or- bleed situation. Your call.", "Giles: Hit him. Buffy glares at him for an instant, then looks back at Ethan.", "Ethan: I-I'd just like to point out that this wasn't my idea. Giles paces behind Buffy.", "Buffy: Meaning...?", "Ethan: I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute... for a demon.", "Giles: He's lying. Hit him!", "Buffy: I don't think he is, and shut up.", "Giles: (excitedly) You're *my* Slayer, (points at Ethan) go knock his teeth down his thr...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Giles! He turns away from her and continues pacing.", "Buffy: (to Ethan) What demon?", "Ethan: I don't remember. Buffy punches him solidly in the nose. He stumbles back against the broken crate. Giles jumps and swings his fist through the air.", "Giles: (smiles) Yes! Buffy gives Giles a glaring look. He loses his smile.", "Ethan: Lurconis. Demon named Lurconis. They wanted a way to get the tribute away from people.", "Buffy: So you're just Diversion Guy?", "Ethan: More than a diversion. Well, they said the tribute was big, so big that people would never let them take it. That people had to be out- of-it. And later on, when the candy wore off, they'd blame themselves.", "Buffy: (sighs) Hence, land of the irresponsible. So, where's Trick?", "Ethan: I don't know exactly.", "Giles: Hit him again. Buffy holds up her fist and gives Ethan a threatening look.", "Ethan: (wards her off with his hand) No! I-I-I really don't know. Delivering the tribute.", "Buffy: (steps closer) Which brings us to the bonus question, and believe me when I say a wrong answer will cost you *all* your points. Behind her Giles leaps up joyously with a huge smile on his face, anticipating a good fight.", "Buffy: What's the tribute?", "Cut to the maternity ward at Sunnydale General Hospital. The phones are ringing off the hook and all of the circuits on the switchboard at the nurse's station are flashing. The nurse just ignores it all and watches her small television. Four vampires boldly enter the hall and walk right past the nurse. She doesn't even notice them. They turn down another hall, very sure of where they are headed. They reach the room where the newborns are kept and walk straight in. Each of them carefully takes a crying baby from its crib. They walk out of the ward in single file, gently holding the babies in their arms. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Milkbar factory. Ethan is leaning against a table while Snyder crouches nearby, keeping an eye on him. Buffy is on the phone with Willow at the library.", "Buffy: Right. Lurconis.", "Willow: (cut to her) Lurconis. A demon. What's his deal?", "Buffy: See if it says anything about a tribute.", "Willow: A tribute? Like what?", "Buffy: (cut to her) I don't know. (looks at Ethan) My source is all tapped out.", "Snyder: (to Ethan) She whupped you good, huh? (throws two punches) Yah! Wah! (stands up proudly) I can do that. I took Tae Kwon Do at the Y. He goes into a series of kicks and punches, grunting with each one as he advances toward Joyce, trying to impress her. She just rolls her eyes, looks away and sighs, unimpressed. Snyder realizes it didn't work and leans against the wall. Joyce blows a bubble with her gum.", "Buffy: (into the phone) No, no. It's definitely a demon. A big one. Ethan spies a crowbar on the table, and being unguarded now, reaches for it and begins to advance toward Buffy. Giles notices his advance. He pulls back the hammer on his stolen Beretta and points it at Ethan's neck.", "Giles: I wouldn't. Ethan stops cold in his tracks. Buffy turns around and swings the telephone receiver hard into Ethan's chin. He spins down to the floor, dropping the crowbar. Giles aims the gun at the back of Ethan's head, execution style. Buffy hands the phone to her mother.", "Buffy: Giles, give me the gun. (holds out her hand) He just stares at Buffy and doesn't give in.", "Buffy: (stares back) Giles... He keeps the gun aimed right where it is. Joyce talks into the phone.", "Buffy: (sternly insistent) Now. After another moment Giles reluctantly gives up his weapon. Buffy stuffs it into the back of her pants. Joyce holds the phone out to Buffy.", "Joyce: Uh, it's, um, it's Willow. She wants you real bad.", "Buffy: (takes the phone) Uh-huh?", "Cut to the library. Oz points into a book that he's just brought over to Willow.", "Willow: (into the phone) Okay, Oz just found it. (reads) 'The tribute to Lurconis is made every thirty years.' (paraphrases) I-it's a ritual feeding. A-and this one's late, so it's probably, you know, a big meal. Oz points to another paragraph.", "Willow: Oh. (reads to herself) And... (digests the information and recoils) Oh. Lurconis eats babies.", "Cut to the factory. Buffy immediately hangs up and starts to go.", "Buffy: Come on. (takes her mother's hand)", "Joyce: Well, what about that man? Buffy turns to see Giles holding the crowbar over Ethan, who is still on the floor.", "Buffy: Uh, see if you guys can find something to tie him up with.", "Joyce: Um... She reaches behind her and pulls out a set of handcuffs, dangling them from her thumb and giving her daughter a sheepish but mischievous look.", "Buffy: *Never* tell me. She grabs the cuffs and heads over to Ethan. Joyce follows her with her gaze and smiles.", "Cut to Sunnydale General. Cut to the maternity ward. Buffy holds an identification wristband left behind in one of the empty cribs. The camera pans up from her hand to Joyce. Giles is outside the room talking with the nurse on duty.", "Nurse: (in the background) I didn't see anything. I don't *know* where they are.", "Joyce: (sad and worried) Something's gonna eat those babies?", "Nurse: (in the background) What can *I* do?", "Snyder: I think that is so wrong. (shakes his head)", "Nurse: (in the background) Get off my back about it! (stalks off shaking her head) Giles comes into the room.", "Giles: She says she never saw who took them. Dozy cow.", "Buffy: I *know* who took them.", "Giles: Well, then let's do something. Let's find the demon and, and... kick the crap out of it.", "Snyder: Is that what happens now?", "Buffy: Yeah, if we knew where they were. (paces) Giles suddenly remembers a passage from a book and quotes it.", "Giles: 'Lurconis dwells beneath the city, filth to filth.'", "Buffy: (stops pacing) What?", "Giles: Ooo! (faces her) I know this. (tries to remember more) Uh... I knew this. 'Lurconis' means... (thinks) 'glutton'. And we'll find it, um... (thinks, shrugs) in the sewers.", "Joyce: The sewers? (goes to Giles for a hug)", "Snyder: Uh, good. You go do that thing with the demon, and I'll stay here in case the babies, you know, uh... find their way back.", "Joyce: (lets go of Giles) (sadly) The babies must be so scared.", "Giles: (to Snyder) You filthy little ponce. (steps toward him and challenges) Are you afraid of a little demon?", "Snyder: If you want to splash around in the poo, (shoves Giles) you're the filthy one! Giles shoves him back.", "Buffy: (gets between them, very annoyed) Okay, you know what? Everybody just stop it! (to Snyder) Okay, listen to me. (to Giles) I need help, okay? Giles, I need grownups. Snyder and Giles continue trying to stare each other down.", "Buffy: These children are gonna die if we don't act now, okay, and think clearly. (gets Giles' attention) There is no room for mistakes. Besides which... you guys are just wigging me out. Snyder gives in and looks away. Giles gives him one last stare, and then steps back over to Joyce.", "Giles: Sorry.", "Joyce: We'll behave. The two of them hug again.", "Buffy: Good. (to Snyder) Snyder, go home.", "Snyder: I can do that. (leaves)", "Buffy: (turns to face Giles) Giles, we're going to the sewers. She sees him kiss her mother, and she cringes.", "Buffy: And don't do that! (stalks out of the room) They break off their kiss and reluctantly follow her.", "Cut to the sewers. The camera pans from a round storm drain tunnel into a large chamber lit by firelight from torches and candles. Mayor Wilkins is standing in the back to observe the ritual. He takes out his cell phone and dials his secretary. Trick is nearby watching the four vampires who stole the children as they chant in Latin. They are dressed in red robes, standing on the wide concrete rim of a small pool. One of them steps down with a shallow bowl of water taken from the pool and begins to anoint each of the babies with it. All but one of the babies are quiet.", "Trick: (to himself about Lurconis) Come on, big guy. They're not getting any fresher. The camera pans across the four babies. The Mayor's secretary finally answers her phone.", "Mayor Wilkins: Carol. Hi. Yeah. (looks around the sewer) Call Dave on the public works committee tomorrow about sewer maintenance and repair. I have some concerns regarding exposed gas pipes, infrastructure, ventilation. And, uh... cancel my 3:00. The last two babies are anointed. Suddenly Buffy drops down from above through a manhole. The Mayor turns his head to face her.", "Buffy: Hi. She moves to start her attack. Behind her Giles climbs down a few rungs of the ladder and drops down the rest of the way. The robed vampires quickly move to attack them. Mayor Wilkins makes a hasty retreat. The first vampire swings wildly at Buffy, but she ducks him, and his momentum carries him past her. She roundhouse kicks the second one and turns back to the first one and shoves him away from her. He smashes into the ladder. Turning back to the second one, Buffy delivers another roundhouse kick. The first one tries to kick her from behind, but she middle blocks him and roundhouse kicks him in the side. Giles and Joyce run over to the table with the babies and wheel it away. The Mayor makes his escape down the tunnels. The third vampire does a jumping roundhouse kick, which Buffy easily ducks. The second lunges at her, but she jumps into the air between them and lands behind them. The third one throws a punch at her, which she quickly middle blocks. The second one swings at her, and she ducks it and punches him in the face. She punches the third one in the face, does a half spin and hits the second one in the face with a backhand punch. He goes staggering backward into Trick. Buffy pulls out a stake. Giles and Joyce get the babies to a safe distance, where Giles leaves them and goes back to the fight. Trick shoves the second vampire off of him, who then goes stumbling toward Giles. Giles clumsily front snap kicks him in the face, and he goes flying right back into Trick. The first vampire tries to attack Buffy again, but she cleanly stakes him, and he bursts into ashes. She immediately takes a step to her side, back middle blocks the third one as he tries to grab her from behind and stakes him. He begins to fall to his knees and explodes into ashes. The second vampire is up again and ready to attack. Buffy side kicks him, and he flies backward onto the rim of the pool and back rolls into the water. Suddenly they all hear a deep rumbling. The vampire tries to get up out of the water. They keep listening to the rumbling as it gets louder. The vampire climbs onto a pedestal in the middle of the pool.", "Giles: What the hell's that? The vampire gets to his knees. Just then a huge demon snake appears through another tunnel by the water. It sees the vampire on the pedestal, engulfs him and retreats back into the tunnel.", "Buffy: Lurconis, I'm thinking.", "Trick: Ordinarily, I like other people to do my fighting for me, but I just gotta see what you got.", "Buffy: Just tell me when it hurts. She starts to advance on him, but Giles rushes past her and pushes her back.", "Buffy: Giles! No! He throws a solid left to Trick's face, but he isn't fazed. He grabs Giles by the shirt and throws him into the pool. Trick makes a dash for it. Giles starts to climb out of the water at the rim of the pool. The rumbling starts again, quicker this time. Buffy looks around frantically for a way to stop the demon. She spies a gas pipe above her, and leaps up to grab it. It breaks under her weight, and gas begins to hiss out of it. Giles is out of the water now and rolls over the rim of the pool and down to the floor. Buffy angles the gas pipe into one of the torches, and it bursts into flames. She aims it at Lurconis, and the snake demon rears back and screams in pain. Joyce watches in terror. Buffy waves the pipe around until Lurconis is engulfed in flames. She pushes the gas pipe aside as the demon retreats back into its tunnel, screaming. Above her Trick smiles down through the open manhole.", "Trick: You and me, girl. (Buffy spins to face him) There's hard times ahead. He gets up and makes himself scarce.", "Buffy: (exhales) They never just leave. Always gotta say something. Joyce comes out of the shadows and over to Buffy.", "Joyce: Can we go home now? Giles gets up, soaked to the skin.", "Buffy: Yeah, we can go home. I've got the SATs tomorrow.", "Joyce: Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note. (goes back to the babies)", "Buffy: No. It's okay. (joins her mom)", "Joyce: Poor babies. Come on... Giles goes over to help as well.", "Cut to the Mayor's office. Trick is sitting while Mayor Wilkins paces behind him.", "Mayor Wilkins: And your friend?", "Trick: Paid him. The man did his job. No reason to burn that bridge.", "Mayor Wilkins: This didn't turn out the way I had planned.", "Trick: Where's the downside? You just got yourself one less demon you have to pay tribute to. The way I see it, I did you a favor.", "Mayor Wilkins: (smiles at Trick) I guess you did. He puts his hands on Trick's shoulders and leans in close to his ear.", "Mayor Wilkins: In the future... I'd be *very* careful how many favors you do for me. He lets go of Trick and steps away. Trick eyes him coldly.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the following Monday. The bell rings. Cut to the halls. Snyder comes walking along at a quick pace. Xander sees him coming.", "Xander: Hey, Snyder. Heard you had some fun Friday night. Have you come down yet? Behind him Cordelia smiles, but tries to hide it.", "Snyder: That's 'Principal Snyder'.", "Xander: And that's a big 'yep'. Snyder eyes Xander, Cordelia, Willow and Oz just standing there in the hall.", "Snyder: You look like four young people with too much time on your hands.", "Oz: Not really.", "Cordelia: Busy like a bee, actually. (smiles) Bee-like!", "Snyder: Good. It seems we had some vandalism Friday on school property, and I was just looking for some... volunteers to help clean it up. They all look at the bank of lockers just down the hall. Willow reads the words spray-painted in the typical lettering style of a rock band as Snyder walks through the group and closes Xander's locker.", "Willow: 'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... (gets a look from Snyder) Oh, wait. I get it.", "Snyder: (nods and continues on) Let's get you some paint remover. The four of them reluctantly follow him.", "Cut to the front of the school. Giles and Buffy walk toward the street.", "Buffy: It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt... so alone.", "Giles: Was that the math or the verbal?", "Buffy: Mostly the math.", "Giles: Well, if you scored low, then you can take them again.", "Buffy: More SATs? (sighs) Is there really a point? I could die before I even apply to college. The brakes of Joyce's Jeep squeal as she pulls to a stop at the curb. Giles and Buffy take the steps down to the sidewalk.", "Giles: And then, you very possibly might not.", "Buffy: Well, let's just keep hope alive. Joyce gets out, closes her door and walks up onto the curb.", "Giles: Hello. (smiles awkwardly)", "Joyce: (shyly) Hi.", "Giles: (sees the dent) I say, your car seems to have had an adventure, doesn't it? They all look at the severely dented rear door and back panel.", "Joyce: Uh, Buffy assures me that it happened battling evil, so I'm letting her pay for it on the installment plan.", "Buffy: Uh, hey, the way things were going, (points at the dent) be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually *did* something. She walks around to the passenger's side to get in. Giles and Joyce both look at the pavement, embarrassed and not willing even to go there, but knowing that they did.", "Joyce: Right.", "Giles: Indeed.", "Joyce: Y-yes. They both quickly pivot and head off in opposite directions." ]

[ "Faith's new Watcher, Gwendolyn Post ( Serena Scott Thomas ), arrives in Sunnydale. Xander discovers Buffy's secret and manipulates Faith into attempting to slay Angel, while Ms. Post is revealed to be more than meets the eye." ]

[ "Prologue: The Bronze. People are coming and going. Cut inside. It's especially crowded tonight. Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star Mary) are on stage finishing the last song of their set, \"Run\".", "Lyrics: If I could walk out Oz looks out into the crowd, a smile for Willow on his face. She is sitting at a table with Xander and Cordelia. They have to share it with some other people, it's so crowded.", "Lyrics: You know I'd never lie The song ends with Oz's last chord understated and fading. The crowd begins to applaud and cheer as Devon takes his bows. Oz lifts his guitar from his shoulder, leans the instrument against the back wall of the stage and heads down the stairs at the side of the stage to join the gang at their table.", "Willow: (smiles) Oz! Hey! Have a seat... Except, we don't have any seats.", "Oz: It's okay. I'll just scrunch in. Willow nudges over a bit with her stool to make room for Oz at the table, and bumps into Xander. She gives him a nervous look. Xander hurriedly scoots over a bit as well, nudging up hard against Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Xander, why are you giving me a lap dance?", "Xander: (smiles weakly and strokes her arm) What? I just like you. Cordelia pulls her arm away from him and squirms around a bit to get comfortable again.", "Willow: (stammers, smiling nervously) And that's very beautiful. I think it's great when two people like two people and want to be close to them instead of anyone else. Oz smiles to himself, enjoying it as always whenever Willow does that cute stammering thing.", "Xander: (also nervous) Here, here!", "Oz: Yeah. Well put. (points at a cup) Hey, can I snag a sip?", "Willow: Sure. (reaches for her cup)", "Xander: (reaches also) Yeah, you got it. Their hands touch as they both reach for her cup. They look at each other in surprise and instantly jerk back their arms. In doing so they knock a tray of drinks out of the hand of the waitress standing behind them. Xander slips off of his stool and tries to catch them, but of course he's too late, and can only look down at the spilled drinks. Around him the crowd begins to applaud his graceful maneuver. He goes with the situation and raises his hands to the crowd in acknowledgment. Willow, however, is embarrassed.", "Xander: Thank you! (turns around) Thank you. (waves) Uh, we're here through Saturday. Enjoy the veal. (smiles) Willow is terribly embarrassed now and tries to hide her face. Xander gets back on his stool. Oz reaches for a cup on his own.", "Cordelia: Why are you guys so hyper? Oz takes a drink from Willow's cup.", "Willow: (nervously tries to cover) Hey! Speaking of people and things they do that aren't like usual, anyone notice Buffy acting sort of different? Oz grimaces at the drink and puts the cup back on the table.", "Xander: Let's see, uh, killing zombies... uh, torching sewer monsters, and... No, that's pretty much the, uh, (grins weakly) same old Buffster.", "Willow: (concerned) Well, I just mean, you know, she's off by herself a lot more, and she's kind of... distracted.", "Cordelia: (smiles) Think maybe she has a new honey?", "Willow: A boyfriend? Why wouldn't she tell us?", "Cordelia: Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy.", "Xander: But we're the best of Buffy's bestest buds. She'd tell us.", "Buffy: (arrives behind them) Tell you what?", "Willow: About your new boyfriend, who we made up. Unless we didn't?", "(gives her an inquiring look)", "Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) This was a topic of discussion?", "Oz: Well, raised, but never discussed.", "Cordelia: So, are you dating somebody or not?", "Buffy angles her eyes up and sways around a bit, considering what she should say.", "Buffy: I wouldn't use the word 'dating', (looks at them) but I am going out with somebody. Tonight, as a matter of fact.", "Willow: Really? Who? Faith puts her hand on Xander's shoulder and pulls him aside a little so she can squeeze in.", "Faith: Yo, what's up? (nudges Buffy's shoulder) Hey, time to motorvate.", "Buffy: (puts her arm around Faith) Really, we're just good friends. The two Slayers head out of the club together.", "Cut to a cemetery. Buffy and Faith both roll onto their backs, side by side, each with a vampire on top of them. Buffy backhand punches her attacker while Faith struggles to get control over hers. Buffy's vampire tries to punch her, but she redirects his arm to hit the ground next to her. Giles watches calmly while sitting behind them on a nearby bench. Buffy is still on her back while her assailant is now standing over her, throwing punches down at her. Faith log rolls away from them, taking her attacker with her. Giles takes off his glasses and begins to clean them. Faith manages to roll on top of her vampire. She yanks him by the lapels of his jacket to a standing position, spins half-way around and throws him into a log roll over a stone bench. He hits the ground and keeps on rolling. Buffy is up now, and ducks a half-spinning jumping hook kick from her vampire, and then sidesteps to avoid a punch. Faith jumps up onto the bench and then back down to the ground. Her attacker aims a punch at her face, but rethinks his maneuver and decides to snap kick her in the gut. Thinking quickly, Faith grabs his foot and throws it over his head, forcing him to flip over in a back layout. He lands hard on his stomach. Buffy throws a punch at her assailant's face, but he ducks it. She tries for another one, but he blocks it. She then aims for his stomach with another punch, but is blocked yet again. The vampire tries to punch her, but she latches onto his arm and yanks him backwards, then forwards, and twists his arm, sending him flipping onto his back. Giles calmly watches and takes notes. Faith has a firm grip on her attacker, and throws his head backward, sending him flying backwards onto a bench. His momentum carries him sliding over it. Faith jumps up onto the bench, following him over, ready to attack. Buffy sends her vampire spinning back to the ground with a two-kick combination of a roundhouse followed by a hook kick. She pauses for a moment to let him get back up, and then roundhouse kicks him in the gut, followed immediately by a punch to his face as the momentum of her kick carries her around. Giles picks up his cup of coffee and continues his calm vigilance. Faith jumps down from the bench and roundhouse kicks her vampire in the face. Buffy roundhouse kicks hers again in the stomach. Faith punches her vampire in the stomach and takes aim with her stake. Buffy shoves hers against Faith's, and they end up back to back. The Slayers both plunge their stakes into their respective demons simultaneously, causing them both to explode into ashes. After the dust settles, they give each other a high-five and head over to Giles.", "Buffy: Synchronized slaying.", "Faith: New Olympic category?", "Buffy: (to Giles) Whadaya think? Giles lowers his coffee cup, but keeps it held at mouth level.", "Gwendolyn: Sloppy. They all turn to look at the woman who's just walked into view. Her hair is pulled up in a severe hair style, and she has a very serious look on her face.", "Gwendolyn: You telegraph punches, leave blind sides open and, uh, for a school-night slaying, take entirely too much time. Which one of you is Faith? Giles looks back at the girls.", "Faith: Depends. Who the hell are you? Giles turns back to the woman.", "Gwendolyn: Gwendolyn Post, Mrs. Your new Watcher. The two Slayers exchange a look, then look over at Giles. He is still holding his cup and staring at Mrs. Post, too dumbfounded to speak. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles is leaning against the stair railing, cleaning his glasses. Buffy is sitting near the middle of the large central table. There are several books lying open on it. Faith is standing by a corner of the table, addressing Mrs. Post, who is looking through some of Giles' collection.", "Faith: I'm telling you, I don't need a new Watcher. No offense, lady. (Gwendolyn looks at her) I just have this problem with authority figures. They end up kind of dead. She nods sarcastically and takes a seat next to Buffy.", "Gwendolyn: (walking past the table) Duly noted, and fortunately, it's not up to you. Buffy and Faith exchange a look. Gwendolyn walks around the table below the railing of the upper level, looking around at the few stacks there are in the study area of the library, apparently unaware that the main stacks are up the stairs and through a set of French doors, well out of view.", "Gwendolyn: Mr. Giles, where do you keep the rest of your books?", "Giles: I-I'm sorry. (slips on his glasses) The rest?", "Gwendolyn: Yes, the actual library. Giles gives her a confused look.", "Gwendolyn: Oh. (smiles thinly) I see.", "Giles: I can assure you, Mrs. Post, this is the finest occult reference collection...", "Gwendolyn: (interrupts) ...this side of the Atlantic, I'm sure. Do you have Hume's Paranormal Encyclopedia? Giles looks away, knowing that while his collection is superior, it is still not complete.", "Gwendolyn: The Labyrinth Maps of Malta? Buffy gives him a hopeful look.", "Giles: It's on order.", "Gwendolyn: Well, I suppose that you have Sir Robert Kane's Twilight Compendium?", "Giles: Oh! Uh... (looks around) Yes, I... (spots the book) Yes! (pulls it out) Yes, I do. (holds it up)", "Gwendolyn: (unimpressed) Of course you do. (paces past him) I have been sent by the council for a very important reason. Faith needs a Watcher. I am to act in that capacity and report back.", "Faith: (leans forward in her chair) Excuse me, Mary Poppins, you don't seem to be listening.", "Giles: (interrupts) Faith, if the council feels that you need closer observation, then... we will all, of course, cooperate. Faith leans back again, not at all happy with the situation.", "Gwendolyn: The council wishes me to report on the *entire* situation here, (to Giles) including you. That takes Giles by surprise.", "Buffy: Mm! Academic probation's not so funny today, huh, Giles? (rolls her eyes innocently) Giles glares at her. She just gives it right back to him.", "Gwendolyn: The fact is, there is talk in the council that you have become a bit too... (inhales) American.", "Giles: (taken aback) Me?", "Buffy: (surprised) Him?", "Gwendolyn: A demon named Lagos is coming here to the Hellmouth. (condescendingly) Mr. Giles, an illustration of Lagos, if you please.", "Giles: (a bit flustered) Oh, uh... (looks at the books on the table) Yes. Uh... He sits at the table and begins to look through one of the books.", "Gwendolyn: Perhaps later. Giles stops looking, very taken aback. He begins to seethe.", "Gwendolyn: Lagos seeks the Glove of Myhnegon. No record of this glove's full power exists, but we do know it is highly dangerous and must not fall into the hands of a demon. Lagos must be stopped. Giles folds his hands over his books and looks up at her.", "Giles: What do you propose?", "Gwendolyn: Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion, I thought we might kill him. Giles turns his head away from her and takes off his glasses.", "Gwendolyn: I suggest two Slayers at full strength for a coordinated hunt. Buffy gives Faith a look. Faith just gives Gwendolyn an even stare.", "Gwendolyn: We believe the glove to be buried in a tomb somewhere, so Lagos will be headed for the cemetery.", "Giles: There is more than one in Sunnydale.", "Gwendolyn: I see. How many?", "Giles: Uh, twelve, within the city limits.", "Gwendolyn: (takes a deep breath) Well, we'll just have to take them one at a time. Giles puts his glasses back on and starts to look through his books again.", "Gwendolyn: Anything in your books that might pinpoint the exact location of the tomb would be useful, but then, we cannot ask for miracles. Giles lets his book drop to the table and makes a point of looking directly away from her, rubbing his fingers, keeping his cool.", "Gwendolyn: We will begin tomorrow at sunset. Faith... (Faith almost startles) With me, please. She gives Faith a thin smile and walks from the library. Faith gives Buffy a glance, then follows her out. Giles visibly relaxes when they've gone.", "Giles: That was bracing. He slaps his glasses onto the table and leans his lips into his fist.", "Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?", "Giles: (lowers his fist) I think the council might frown upon that. His expression indicates he's considering it anyway, but soon discards the notion.", "Giles: Well... (stands up) How do you feel about a spot of training?", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He and Buffy are practicing T'ai Chi in front of the great fireplace. Angel concentrates on the exercises, but Buffy watches his moves and does her best to mirror them. They each begin with their arms stretched high above and ahead of them, hands together. They lower their arms to waist level with a graceful bend at the elbows. Buffy glances over at Angel, watching his elegant movements. She turns her attention back to the exercise, and crosses her right wrist over her left. They both sweep their crossed arms in a wide arc from left to right, and then draw their hands in to their waists and make a quarter turn to their left, so that Buffy has her back to Angel. They both extend their arms and slowly raise them, never stopping their fluid movements, until their hands are again held high. Angel takes the two steps over to Buffy and puts his hands over hers. Buffy looks up at his hands on hers as he pulls her arms down and around her. She slowly turns to face him and angles her face up toward him. Their lips almost meet when Buffy suddenly pulls away and walks over to one of the two couches set at right angles to each other to get her things.", "Buffy: Uhh... I gotta go. Big night for us Slayer types. Angel turns away, a confused expression on his face. Buffy pulls on her backpack.", "Buffy: People to see, demons to kill. (starts to leave) Better hurry before somebody figures out what we're doing.", "Angel: (pulls on his shirt) What are we doing?", "Buffy: (stops) Training. (quietly) And almost kissing. Angel looks at her and steps toward her as he buttons his shirt. Buffy turns to face him.", "Buffy: Sorry. It's just... (smiles weakly) old habit. (loses the smile) Bad, bad habit to be broken.", "Angel: It's hard.", "Buffy: It's not hard. (with resolve) Cold turkey. That's the key to quitting. They both look at each other for a long moment, knowing it's just not that easy.", "Buffy: (weakly and desperately) You think they make a patch for this?", "Angel: You have to go.", "Buffy: I really do. Angel looks away as Buffy turns again to go. She only gets a couple of steps when she sighs and turns to face Angel again.", "Buffy: I'm gonna try and vent a little hormonal angst by going out there and killing a Lagos, whatever that is. Angel faces her again upon hearing that demon's name.", "Angel: Lagos?", "Buffy: Some demon looking for some all-powerful thingamabob, (Angel sits, suddenly worried) and I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc, (sees his worried look) and it's another Tuesday night in Sunnydale. Angel can't bring himself to look at her again, and so just stares off into space.", "Angel: Be careful. Buffy turns and heads out of the mansion. Angel watches her back as she goes, and when she's gone, he gets up to start some work of his own.", "Cut to the library. Giles is sitting at the large table reading through a book with a dozen other volumes open and spread out in front of him. Willow is standing behind the railing of the stack level behind him. Xander is standing at the end of the table. Giles looks up from his book.", "Giles: Oh, this is intolerable. (slams the book shut) There's not a word here about Lagos or the glove. (stands up) We don't have time for this (drops the book in frustration) near-missing. (turns to Willow and Xander) Just find out all you can about the demon, its-its-its strengths, its-its weaknesses, (begins to pace) its places of origin, (stops and yanks off his glasses) and most importantly, (points at Xander with his glasses) what it plans to do with this blasted glove.", "Xander: (gives Giles an annoyed smile) Hey, you're not the Watcher of me.", "Giles: Then go home. But if you choose to stay, then work. He makes frustrated tracks into his office. Xander stares after him for a moment, then starts up the stairs to the stack level for more research. Willow steps over to meet him.", "Willow: Ugh... It's late. I'm tired. What does he want from us, anyway? They head into the stacks.", "Xander: The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from his butt? They stop at a spot where a few books are lying open on the floor and sit down. Xander takes one of them and starts to look through it.", "Willow: My eyes are all blurry. She leans forward and rests her head in her hands for a moment, then starts rubbing her temples with her fingers.", "Willow: Ohh... She moans as she rubs. Xander looks over at her, concerned. He sets down his book, nudges a bit closer and reaches over to do the rubbing for her. When she feels his fingers at her temples, Willow drops her own hands into her lap and lets him minister to her, letting out a few more moans.", "Willow: Oh, stop.", "Xander: Right. (continues rubbing) Stop means no... (keeps rubbing) And no means no, so, um... (finally stops) stop. He leans back away from her. She sits up a bit. He takes his book again to continue his research. Suddenly Willow reaches for him, grabs his face and plants a hard kiss on his lips. Xander responds and puts his hands around her to pull her closer. They kiss passionately for a few seconds, when Giles suddenly comes walking by, his attention focused on a book in his hands as he reads. Willow and Xander don't notice him at all.", "Giles: Willow, Xander... They stop kissing and quickly scramble to their feet.", "Giles: ...you can stop your, uh, studying. They wipe and cover their mouths in guilt, but aren't yet sure if they've been caught since Giles is looking at a bookcase. Willow bites her nails nervously.", "Giles: I've got what I need.", "Xander: (trying to be cool) What have you got?", "Giles: Uh, the probable location of the Glove of Myhnegon. (faces them) It's, uh, housed in the Von Hauptman family crypt.", "Xander: Yeah, that's that big one over at the Restfield Cemetery.", "Willow: Yeah, well, that's great, Giles. Um, how'd you find it?", "Giles: I looked. (continues his reading)", "Xander: Where's Buffy at?", "Giles: Uh, I'm not sure.", "Xander: Well, I'll go check out this, uh, crypt. (starts out) Um, tell her heads-up if she, uh, stops by. (leaves)", "Giles: Yes, by all means, go.", "Willow: (nervously) A-and I'll just keep studying. I think we're on the verge of a big Lagos breakthrough.", "Giles: (looks up from his book) No, I'd say we're done. He starts back out of the stacks. Willow lets out a deep sigh, ridden with guilt and halfway convinced that they've been caught.", "Cut to the streets at night. Faith and Buffy walk along as people and cars go by.", "Faith: Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, klepto. Kenny... drummer. Eventually, I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet. Now it's strictly get some, get gone. You can't trust guys.", "Buffy: You can trust some guys. (gets a doubtful look from Faith) Really, I've read about them.", "Faith: (laughs) Yeah. So, what about you?", "Buffy: You mean like, me and guys me?", "Faith: Mm-hm.", "Buffy: Not much to tell these days.", "Faith: Yeah, but you gotta have stories. I mean, I've had my share of losers, but you... you boinked the undead. What was that like?", "Buffy: Life with Angel's... was complicated. It's still a little hard for me to talk about.", "Faith: Well, try. They stop walking.", "Buffy: Look, Faith, all the Angel issues are still kind of with me, so if you don't mind, I'd rather not.", "Faith: (shrugs) Yeah. (shrugs) Yeah, whatever. Buffy looks away.", "Faith: You know what? We're oh for six tonight. Why don't we just blow this off?", "Buffy: Yeah. I am kinda beat. But-but Shady Hill's pretty close.", "Faith: I'll swing through it. It's on my way anyway.", "Buffy: Alone? I-I don't know if I'd...", "Faith: I got Miss Priss on my back now. I don't need another baby- sitter. I'll holler if I'm having any fun.", "Buffy: (smiles thinly) Okay.", "Faith: (nods down the street) Later. (goes)", "Buffy: Thanks. She watches her go for a moment before turning and heading home.", "Cut to Shady Hill cemetery. Faith walks around a hedge and into view, scanning the graveyard as she goes. Suddenly the lid of a stone coffin slams into the ground in front of her. She jerks back, startled but unhurt. In front of her she sees Lagos, a warrior demon, grabbing things out of the coffin and throwing them aside as he quickly rummages through it.", "Faith: (to herself) Son of a bitch. It's my lucky day. She starts to run toward him and jumps into a flying side kick to Lagos' back. He hardly budges and turns his head to see who is disturbing him. Faith grabs his arm and whips him around to face her. She backhand punches him in the face and instantly follows up with another swing to his face, then punches him in the gut and again in the face. She pushes him away slightly to get some distance between them, and then roundhouse kicks him in the side. Unfazed and tired of the interruption, Lagos grabs her by the neck and throws her high and far. She slams into the side of a mausoleum and falls to the ground. Lagos turns his attention back to the open coffin. Faith scrambles to her feet and starts to run at him again. Lagos hears her coming this time and turns to face her. She tries to grab his neck, but he blocks her arm and does an uppercut to Faith's diaphragm, which makes her airborne once again. She hits the ground hard and starts to struggle for breath. Lagos ignores her and goes back to his rummaging. He pulls the last of the coffin's contents out, sees that it's nothing he wants and throws it aside in disgust. He wastes no time getting out of there, stomping right past Faith, not giving her even so much as another glance. With her breath knocked out of her, Faith is unable to get up to pursue him.", "Cut to Restfield cemetery. Xander finds his way through the gravestones to the Von Hauptman family crypt. His breathing is heavy and nervous. He finds the crypt and peeks at it from behind a bush, making sure no one and nothing else is around. He steps out from behind the bush, nervously looking around while he makes his way toward the crypt.", "Xander: (smiling, dripping with sarcasm) Hey, Giles, here's a nifty idea: why don't I alleviate my guilt by goin' out and gettin' myself really, really killed? He stops in his tracks when he thinks he hears a noise. Sure enough, a second later he can hear the sound of stone grinding against stone coming from inside the crypt. He swiftly ducks behind a group of bushes, crouches down and waits to see who will come out. A figure soon comes out of the crypt and pulls the door closed. In its arms it holds something wrapped in a bunch of rags. The figure turns its back to Xander as it grabs the outer iron gate and swings it closed as well. Xander rises up just a bit so he can better see who it is. The figure turns around again and begins to cautiously make its way out of the graveyard. As it nears Xander, he sees that it's Angel. Xander doesn't take his eyes off of him as he walks past. When Angel is far enough ahead of him, Xander comes out from behind the bushes, pulls out his stake and starts to follow.", "Cut to the atrium at Angel's mansion. Xander sneaks down the stairs to the main gallery and tiptoes over to a window where he can see inside. There, to his shock, he sees Buffy with Angel, kissing passionately. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Angel's mansion. He and Buffy are kissing passionately. The camera circles around them as they continue kissing. Suddenly Buffy breaks it off and takes a couple of steps backward and looks away from his face.", "Buffy: Oh, God...", "Angel: (confused) Buffy...", "Buffy: What am I doing? (looks up at him) What are *you* doing?", "Angel: (still confused) I don't know.", "Buffy: Shame on you! Angel doesn't know how to respond to that. He puts his hand to his forehead. Buffy heads over to her things on the couch.", "Buffy: Oh, God, I... I don't even know why I came back here. She starts to pull on her jacket. Angel steps over and takes it from her hands.", "Angel: It's good you did. Buffy looks up to him, waiting for an explanation.", "Angel: I think I have what you're looking for. He leads her by the hand over to a pedestal where the thing he got from the crypt lies, still wrapped up in rags.", "Buffy: Great... Just, wherever this was gift-wrapped, remind me not to shop there. He unwraps the rags to reveal their contents. It's an ancient-looking glove made of leather, chain mail and plate mail. There are small spikes along the plates that cover the back of the hand and the forearm. Ringed around the opening are ten hinged claws that look something like crab legs, but made of steel and very sharp.", "Angel: Glove of Myhnegon.", "Buffy: The world's ugliest fashion accessory. She reaches out to touch it. Angel quickly stays her hand with his.", "Angel: No, don't. Once you put it on, the glove can never be removed.", "Buffy: So... no touching. (nods, looks at their hands) Kinda like us. Angel gets the hint and releases her hand. He wraps the glove back up in the rags.", "Buffy: You hold on to it. I'll... I'll tell Giles in the morning. At least he'll be happy.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He is researching through a book at his desk. Gwendolyn walks in front of the camera and around to Giles' side. He seems to have found something.", "Giles: Ah! Yes. There we are. In the book is a sketch of a battle scene with an inset of the glove. It resembles the real thing only vaguely. He sets the book down for her to see.", "Giles: There's a wood engraving. See? The Glove of Myhnegon.", "Gwendolyn: (looks at it, unimpressed) Yes, engraved by Father Theodore of Wolsham.", "Giles: Yes.", "Gwendolyn: Based, I believe, on very sketchy and unreliable folk legends. The pictures are fun to look at, Mr. Giles, but one really ought to read the nice words as well. Giles looks up from the books, but stares ahead, not wanting Gwendolyn to see the look of raw annoyance in his eyes. In the kitchen the tea kettle begins to whistle.", "Giles: Ah. (stands up) Yes. (puts his hands in his pockets) Some tea, perhaps? He strides into the kitchen. Gwendolyn takes the few steps over to the bar where he has two cups already set out for the tea and sits on one of the stools. Giles grabs the kettle from the stove.", "Gwendolyn: I know that you must find me tiresome, but it's insidious, really. Giles pours the hot water into one of the cups. Gwendolyn looks down at the teabag in her still empty cup, takes it out and sets it aside.", "Gwendolyn: A person slips up on the little things, and soon everything has gone to Hell in a handbasket. Giles doesn't say anything to her rejection of his teabag. She opens her purse and pulls out a small box with her own supply of tea.", "Gwendolyn: For example... Buffy, your Slayer...", "Giles: (struggling to control his voice) Mrs. Post... (pours her hot water) I can assure you that Buffy is both dedicated and industrious, and I am in complete control of my Slayer. Suddenly his apartment door whips open, and Xander runs into the room.", "Xander: Giles! We have a big problem. It's Buffy. Gwendolyn give Giles a snooty look.", "Giles: Will you excuse us? He walks very stiffly from the kitchen and nods to Xander to follow. They go to the far side of the room and whisper between themselves. Gwendolyn takes her own teabag and puts it in her cup to steep.", "Gwendolyn: Would you like some assistance? Giles and Xander stop their whispering and look at her.", "Giles: (smiling thinly) Thank you. That won't be necessary. They go back to their private discussion. Gwendolyn looks at her cup to see how far along her tea is.", "Cut to Sunnydale High. Cut to the library. Giles paces slowly in the main area. Behind him the door opens, and he hears someone walk in. He slowly turns to see that it's Buffy.", "Buffy: Lagos is out of luck. I got the magic mitten thingy. She stops to see that Xander, Cordelia, Oz and Willow are all sitting at the center table looking as glum as Giles does.", "Buffy: What's with all the tragedy masks?", "Giles: (indicates a chair) Better take a seat, Buffy. Xander gets up out of his chair, nudges it over a bit so it's at the head of the table, and steps away to stand next to Cordelia. Buffy slowly steps over to the chair.", "Buffy: What's going on? (sits)", "Giles: We know Angel is alive. (Buffy looks shocked) Xander saw you with him. It would appear that you've been hiding him and that you lied to us. Buffy looks away, trying to absorb this new turn of events.", "Willow: Nobody's here to blame you, Buffy. But this is serious. You need help.", "Buffy: (looks up at Willow) It's not what you think.", "Xander: Hope not. Because I think you're harboring a vicious killer. Buffy can't believe Xander's callousness.", "Willow: (trying to mediate) This isn't about attacking Buffy. Remember, 'I' statements only. 'I feel angry.' 'I feel worried.'", "Cordelia: Fine. Here's one: I feel worried... about me! Last time around, Angel barely laid a hand on Buffy. He was *way* more interested in killing her friends.", "Buffy: But he's better now.", "Xander: Better for how long, Buffy? I mean, did you even think about that?", "Buffy: (stands up) What is this, Demons Anonymous? (starts to leave) I don't need an intervention, here.", "Giles: Oh, don't you? (Buffy stops and faces him) You must've known it was wrong seeing Angel or you wouldn't have hidden it from all of us.", "Buffy: (desperate and defensive) I was going to tell you, I was. I-it was just that I... I didn't know why he came back. I just wanted to wait.", "Xander: For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?", "Buffy: (raising her voice defensively) I'm not going to... (raises her hand to him) We're not together like that.", "Oz: But you were kissing him. Willow gives Oz a quick look, then looks at Buffy, worried. Buffy thinks about the implication of Oz's accusation, and looks at Xander.", "Buffy: You were spying on me? (steps toward him) What gives you the right?", "Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?", "Buffy: (defensive again) It was an accident.", "Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?", "Buffy: It was wrong, okay? I know that, and I know that it can't happen again. But you guys have to believe me. I would never put you in any danger. If I thought for a second that Angel was going to hurt anyone...", "Xander: ...you would stop him. Like you did last time with Ms. Calendar. Buffy is completely taken aback by Xander's totally insensitive and unfair attack, and can't utter a word in response. Willow senses that it's time to intercede.", "Willow: (nervously) Buffy, I feel that when it comes to Angel, you can't see straight. And that's why we're, we're all gonna help you face this.", "Buffy: But he's better now. I swear. Look, you guys, he's the one that found the Glove of Myhnegon. H-he's keeping it safe for us in the mansion.", "Xander: (spreads his arms) Right! Great plan. Leave tons of firepower with the Scary Guy, and leave us to clean up the mess. He makes tracks to leave the library, intent on doing something about this. Buffy takes him by the arm and spins him around to face her.", "Buffy: You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?", "Xander: I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.", "Buffy: Right. This is all nobility. This has nothing to do with jealousy. Xander gives her a haughty grin, but is interrupted before he can continue.", "Cordelia: Hello? Miss Not-Over-Yourself-Yet?", "Buffy: (shakes her head in warning) Don't you start with me. Cordelia looks to Giles for support.", "Willow: (upset) Giles, no one's doing the 'I' statements!", "Giles: That's enough! Everybody. Now, Buffy knows our concerns, and her actions, however ill-advised, can be understood. (Cordelia shakes her head) Our... priority right now is to retrieve the Glove of Myhnegon and try to destroy it. Now, all of you, back to classes. One after the other they all get up, gather their things and go. Giles goes into his office, his hands firmly stuffed into his pockets. Once there he takes off his jacket and hangs it around the back of his chair. Buffy follows him and stops by the office door.", "Buffy: (uneasily) Thanks for the bail in there. Giles doesn't face her, and instead unbuttons his vest.", "Buffy: I know this is a lot to absorb, but Angel did find the glove, and that was a good...", "Giles: (interrupts) Be quiet. (slowly turns to face her) (sternly) I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform. Buffy averts her eyes in shame. Giles turns back to his desk, sits down and leans back in thought. Buffy just stands in the doorway for a long moment before leaving quietly.", "Cut to Faith's motel room. There is a knock at the door. Faith opens it, stake raised and ready. She is surprised to see Gwendolyn standing there. She lowers the stake as Mrs. Post enters.", "Gwendolyn: A word of advice? Vampires rarely knock. Especially in daylight. (closes the door)", "Faith: Oh, right.", "Gwendolyn: (looks around) So... this is your home.", "Faith: Yeah. (gestures around the room) The decorator actually just left.", "Gwendolyn: Faith, do you know who the Spartans were? (leans against the dresser)", "Faith: Wild stab: a bunch of guys from Spart? (sits on the bed)", "Gwendolyn: They were the fiercest warriors known to Ancient Greece. And they lived in quarters very much like these. Do you know why? Because a true fighter needs nothing else. I'm going to be very hard on you, Faith. I will not brook insolence or laziness. And I will not allow blunders like last night's attack. You will probably hate me a great deal of the time.", "Faith: (smiles sardonically) You think?", "Gwendolyn: (steps over to the bed) But I will make you a better Slayer, (sits next to Faith) and that will keep you alive. You have to trust that I am right. God only knows what Mr. Giles has been filling your head with.", "Faith: Giles is okay.", "Gwendolyn: (stands) His methods are unfathomable to me. I find him entirely confounding. But that is not important. Let him have his games and secret meetings.", "Faith: What meetings?", "Gwendolyn: Oh, I don't know. Something with Buffy and her friends.", "Faith: Oh, right. I guess that doesn't include me.", "Gwendolyn: And why does he let her socialize so much? It hardly seems... No matter. Would you like to do some training?", "Faith: Training? (stands up) As in kicking and punching and stabbing?", "Gwendolyn: (smiles) Yes, that's the idea.", "Faith: I'm your girl.", "Cut to the halls at Sunnydale High. The bell rings. Buffy walks around the corner and stops when she sees Willow at her locker. She takes a breath to calm herself and heads over to her friend.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Willow: Hey! (continues gathering her stuff)", "Buffy: So on a scale of one to a million, how much are you hating me right now?", "Willow: (jumpy, trying to hide her feelings) Zero. You were scared, you kept a secret, you know? (zips closed her backpack) That's-it-it's okay. I mean, secrets aren't bad. You know, they're normal. (slips her pack onto her shoulder) They're better than normal. They're good. Secrets are good. Must be a reason why we keep them, right? (closes her locker)", "Buffy: Yeah, I guess. They start down the hall.", "Willow: So, are you going to the Bronze tonight, or, uh, are you gonna sneak away for a not-so-secret rendezvous with Angel?", "Buffy: None of the above. I'm gonna try and kill this Lagos guy. Peace offering to Giles.", "Willow: Well, Angel has the glove now, right?", "Buffy: Yep. But Lagos doesn't know that. I figure sooner or later he's bound to show up at that crypt looking for it.", "Willow: Ah, but instead he finds a Buffy in a not-so-good mood.", "Buffy: That's my brilliant plan.", "Cut to the Bronze that evening. Xander makes his breaking shot at a pool table. He goes over to the pocket where he accidentally sank his cue ball, retrieves it and walks back around the table to continue practicing. Faith approaches the table.", "Faith: You look pissed.", "Xander: Rough day. (chooses his shot)", "Faith: Tell me about it.", "Xander: (places the cue ball) Rather just shoot. (aims his cue stick)", "Faith: Don't think I don't know what you and your pals were talking about behind my back today.", "Xander: (takes his shot) Yeah? And what was that? (looks for his next shot)", "Faith: More about this glove deal than you're saying.", "Xander: The Glove of Myhnegon? Right. (aims his cue stick) How'd you like a hit of some real news: Angel's still alive. He takes his shot and starts walking around the table again, looking for his next shot. Faith looks at him in wide-eyed surprise.", "Faith: The vampire.", "Xander: Back in town. Saw him myself. Toting the popular and famous glove. He bends down again to take aim for his shot.", "Faith: Angel. Xander makes this shot and watches the balls ricochet.", "Faith: Guy like that, with that kind of glove, could kill a whole mess of people.", "Xander: Said the same thing to Buffy myself. Weird how she didn't seem to care. (aims for his next shot)", "Faith: Buffy knew he was alive. Xander takes his shot.", "Faith: I can't believe her.", "Xander: (walks around the table) She says he's clean.", "Faith: Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out. (has Xander's full attention) I say I deal with this problem right now. I say I slay.", "Xander: Can I come? He puts down his cue stick and they head out.", "Cut to Giles' office at the library. He is researching at his desk. He hears footsteps and turns around to stand up and see who it is.", "Gwendolyn: You wanted to see me, Mr. Giles?", "Giles: (grabs his coat) Yes. I do apologize for bringing you in at this late hour. (pulls it on)", "Gwendolyn: Please. A good Watcher must be awake and alert at all hours.", "Giles: Would you like some tea? He tosses his glasses onto his desk and steps over to his tea-making implements to prepare his teapot and two cups.", "Gwendolyn: God, yes, please. I'm completely knackered. (goes to Giles' chair) I spent the afternoon training with Faith. (sits) She doesn't lack for energy.", "Giles: (chuckles) She's your first Slayer, I take it?", "Gwendolyn: If you're questioning my qualifications...", "Giles: No, I'm not. (pours water from the kettle into his teapot) I, uh, have the utmost respect for your methods... (faces her, holding the teapot) in my own American way. (leans against his desk) I also have the glove. (Gwendolyn looks at him expectantly) Oh, not actually on me, but, uh, I believe it's safe. It's in a mansion on Crawford Street. A-a-a friend of Buffy's is keeping it there.", "Gwendolyn: (stands up) Well. We must get to it. Immediately. Hide it before someone else finds it.", "Giles: Or better still, destroy it.", "Gwendolyn: (surprised) Destroy it?", "Giles: (stands up and sets down the teapot) Yes, I-I... I didn't think it could be done either, but... (goes to his desk for a book) It involves transforming fire (show her the book) into Living Flame and immolating the glove. Gwendolyn reads the pages where Giles indicates.", "Giles: I-i-it's complex, but, uh, I believe I have all the necessary materials. He goes back to his desk and checks his gathered inventory.", "Gwendolyn: Well, (puts the book down) I must say, Mr. Giles... Good show. She steps up behind him and hits him across the back of the neck with a wooden tribal statue. His knees give and he stumbles, but doesn't fall. He turns to face her, giving her a stunned look.", "Gwendolyn: Good show indeed. She swings the statue again at his temple. It hits him hard, and he falls unconscious to the floor.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Restfield Cemetery in front of the Von Hauptman family crypt. Willow paces and Buffy sits on a stone bench while they wait for Lagos to show up.", "Willow: Um, not to downplay my own slaying abilities, which in some circles are considered formidable, but shouldn't Faith be here?", "Buffy: I tried calling, but no one was home. Look, if you're feeling any demon-o-phobia, please, splitting is totally an option. You're not the one in trouble with Giles.", "Willow: That's true. (continues pacing)", "Buffy: How long do you think he can stay angry at me, anyway?", "Willow: The emotional marathon man? (shrugs)", "Buffy: Yeah. I can't really blame him. It's weird, though. Now that my secret... Angel, it's all out in the open... I feel better.", "Willow: Well, *sure* you do. This big burden's been lifted. I mean, keeping secrets is a lot of work. (stops pacing) One could hypothetically imagine.", "Buffy: You have no idea.", "Willow: (laughs uneasily) None whatsoever. But... (sits next to Buffy) Can I ask you a question? (Buffy nods) When you were with Angel and nobody knew about it, did that make it feel, you know, sexier somehow?", "Buffy: Not really. It's too much pressure. After a while, it even makes the fun parts... not so fun.", "Willow: (disappointed) Oh.", "Buffy: (wondering what's up) What makes you think all this secret stuff is sexy, anyway?", "Willow: (nervously defensive) Nothing. I'm just wondering. Gotta keep asking the big old questions when you're blessed with this girl's thirst for knowledge and... (gives in) Okay. There's something I have to tell you.", "Buffy: What?", "Willow: (gets up) Okay. This will make me feel better, right? You know, I always consider myself a good person. Floss, do my homework, never cheat. But lately, and please don't judge me on this, but I want you to be the first to know that, that... (sees Lagos) there's a demon behind you. Buffy looks behind her and kicks her legs up to spin herself around on the bench. She uses the momentum of the spin to start a running attack. She jumps into a twin pike kick to Lago's stomach. It has no real effect on Lagos, just making him take a step backward as she falls flat to the ground. Willow looks on, worried and unable to help. Lagos reaches down for Buffy and grabs her by the neck. He pulls her up only to flip her back down to the ground in a sloppy front tuck. She lands hard on her back. Willow wants to help, but can only watch. Buffy gets to her feet and comes at Lagos with a combination of a punch to the gut and the face, a half spin, a backhand punch to the face, another half spin and another backhand punch. She tries for an elbow jab, but he blocks it, grabs her arm and reaches for her leg, and lifts her up above his head. Willow is afraid for her friend and waves her hands wildly in protest.", "Willow: Don't... Lagos suddenly drops Buffy, and she lands hard on her back. Willow cringes at the sight. Buffy quickly gets to her feet and steps to her right as Lagos swings a fist at her head. He misses her and smashes his fist into a stone cross. Taking advantage of the opening, Buffy steps in and front snap kicks him in the gut, following up with a roundhouse kick to his face, a full spin and another roundhouse kick to his crotch. Lagos doubles over in pain. Willow winces at how painful it looked. Buffy spies the battle-ax on his back.", "Buffy: Now we're talking. She grabs the ax, pulls it from its sheath and swings it around as Lagos straightens back up. In one stroke Lagos is suddenly headless. His head rolls along the ground a ways before coming to rest. Willow pumps her fists into the air in front of her.", "Willow: Yes! She quickly plays down her gesture into crossed arms. Buffy comes walking back to her.", "Buffy: Sorry about that. So, what were you saying?", "Willow: Oh, I... (decides against a confession) I opened my SAT test booklet five minutes early. (Buffy gives her a blank look) Just doesn't seem important now, does it?", "Buffy: (smiles) Your secret's safe with me. (looks at Lagos' body) Come on. Let's go bring Giles some happiness. She shoulders the battle-ax, and the two girls head for the library.", "Cut to the library. Faith and Xander barge in and head for the cage, and the weapons cabinet within.", "Xander: Good old Sunnydale library. Fully equipped with reference books, file cards... (opens the cabinet doors) and weapons.", "Faith: Beauty. (reaches in)", "Xander: I call crossbow. (reaches for it)", "Faith: You got it. They gather an array of weapons. Xander grabs some bolts for the bow. They close the doors when they have what they want.", "Xander: All right, ready to go?", "Faith: That I am. They start to head out, when Xander hears a moan coming from Giles' office.", "Xander: Wait.", "Faith: What? Xander hurries into the office. He sets down the crossbow when he sees Giles on the floor and kneels down to help him.", "Xander: Oh, my God. It's Giles! (holds his head) Giles, can you hear me? (looks around) What the hell happened?", "Faith: Gee, let me guess.", "Xander: (trying not to panic) Stop. Hold it. Just think a minute.", "Faith: Yeah, I'm thinking. Thinking Buffy's ex-meat did this.", "Xander: (grabs the phone) It's not Angel's style. (dials 911)", "Faith: The guy's a demon! How much more proof do you need?", "Xander: Bite marks would be nice. (into the phone) Yeah, I have a medical emergency. Sunnydale High.", "Faith: Screw this waiting crap. (starts to go)", "Xander: Faith, if we leave, Giles could die!", "Faith: (from the checkout counter) Yeah, and he's gonna have a whole lot of company, unless *I* do something permanent. (starts to go again)", "Xander: Wait!", "Faith: For what? You to grow a pair? You handle the baby-sit, and I'm gonna kill Angel. (strides out)", "Xander: Damn it! He waits on the phone, holding Giles' head.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He has a fire going in an urn and several small bowls of powders in various colors on a small table.", "Angel: Exorere, Flamma Vitae. Prodi ex loco tuo elementorum, in hunc mundum vivorum.", "Translation: Arise, Flame of Life. Come forth from your place of the elements, into this world of the living. He shakes some of a green powder into his hand, throws it into the flame, and it begins to burn green.", "Angel: Exorere, Flamma Vitae. Prodi ex loco tuo elementorum, in hunc mundum vivorum.", "Translation: Arise, Flame of Life. Come forth from your place of the elements, into this world of the living. He shakes some of a red powder into his hand, throws it into the flame, and it begins to burn red.", "Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow open the doors and walk in.", "Buffy: Giles is gonna be psyched that we showed up stuffy old Mrs. Post. They see the paramedics there with Giles on a gurney. Buffy tosses the battle-ax over the counter.", "Buffy: Oh, my God. (runs to Giles' side)", "Paramedic: (into her radio) Sunnydale Medical...", "Buffy: What happened?", "Paramedic: (into her radio) ...Caucasian male, mid-forties...", "Buffy: Giles...", "Paramedic: ...blunt object head trauma. Notify ER, we're bringing him in.", "Buffy: What happened?", "Paramedic: No time for this. (starts to wheel him out)", "Giles: (feebly) Wait... (the paramedics stop) Buffy, you must... must destroy the glove.", "Paramedic: (sternly) You want him to live? Get out of the way. She and her partner quickly roll Giles from the library.", "Giles: Use... Living... Flame...", "Paramedic: Move! They slam the library doors open with the gurney and turn down the hall. Willow looks at Xander, worried and wanting to know what went down. Buffy watches until the gurney has disappeared, then also turns to Xander for an explanation. He just gives her a blank stare.", "Buffy: What happened?", "Xander: Your boyfriend's not as cured as you thought.", "Buffy: What makes you think that Angel had anything to do with this?", "Xander: We saw what you saw.", "Buffy: So you just assume?", "Xander: I didn't. Faith did. Willow gives Buffy a concerned look.", "Buffy: (very worried) What did you tell her?", "Xander: Only what everyone knows. She's a big girl. Came to her own conclusions.", "Buffy: (angry) How much of a head start does she have?", "Xander: Ten minutes.", "Buffy: (steps over to Willow) Go through Giles' research. Figure out how to destroy the glove. She glares at Xander for a second, not believing that he could actually do such a thing, and then runs from the library. Willow watches her go, then looks at Xander accusingly. He tries to say something, but Willow doesn't let him get a single word out.", "Willow: Shut up and help me. She heads for Giles' office. Xander follows close behind.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. The red Living Flame burns intensely in the urn. Angel turns around to get the glove, but stops when he sees Gwendolyn walk in. He stares at her unwaveringly.", "Angel: What do you want?", "Gwendolyn: Gwen Post. Mr. Giles sent me.", "Angel: What for?", "Gwendolyn: To help you destroy the glove. (looks at the urn) Is that the Living Flame?", "Angel: Yes.", "Gwendolyn: (goes to the table by the urn) Look, I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but Lagos is on his way here now. (looks it over) If you're performing the ritual incorrectly, it will only make the glove more powerful.", "Angel: Alright. (steps up to the flame)", "Gwendolyn: Good. Where is the glove?", "Angel: It's in the trunk. He turns around again to get the glove from the trunk. Gwendolyn grabs a shovel that's leaning against the table and swings it hard into his head. He falls to the floor unconscious.", "Gwendolyn: That's what I love about this town. Everyone's so helpful. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Angel's mansion. Gwendolyn hurries over to the trunk and tries to open it. She finds it locked.", "Gwendolyn: Bugger. She tries yanking at the old padlock, but it doesn't give.", "Gwendolyn: Bugger! She takes the shovel and jams it into the padlock a few times. The old lock breaks readily. She reaches down to remove it. Behind her Angel gets up from the floor sporting his game face.", "Angel: Okay... Gwendolyn looks at him in surprise.", "Angel: That hurt.", "Gwendolyn: (holds the shovel defensively) It was supposed to kill you. If you'd been human, it would have. But... (breaks the handle over her knee) I believe this is your poison. She swings at Angel's midsection with her long makeshift stake, but he sidesteps her to avoid the blow. She swings back the other way, but this time aims for his face, and he ducks it. She swings again, but Angel middle blocks the hit and takes the opportunity to punch her in the face. She falls down hard and loses her grip on the shovel handle. She scrambles onto all fours and starts to make a run for it. Angel circles around the urn with the Living Flame, grabs her by the back of the neck as she rises to her feet, pushes down on her neck to stop her and throws her against a wall. She slides to the floor nearly unconscious. Angel grabs her by the shoulder just as Faith barges in holding a long club with a steel hook embedded in the business end.", "Faith: Mrs. Post! Angel lets go of Gwendolyn, roars and faces his new adversary.", "Faith: (intensely angry) I can't believe how much I'm gonna kill you.", "Angel: (stands his ground) You're *not* getting that glove.", "Faith: You wanna bet? Before she has a chance to attack with her club, Angel does a low in-to- out crescent kick, knocking it from her hands. Faith body checks him, but he easily absorbs the blow, taking only a slight step backward. Gwendolyn begins to come to, and watches the fight. Angel does a backhand swing to Faith's head, making it snap back and to the side. She whirls back around, infuriated, and delivers a backhand punch to his face followed immediately with another punch. Angel tries to return with a punch, but he swings too wide, and Faith has plenty of time to duck it. Angel's follow through leaves him in an awkward position, and Faith takes immediate advantage. She bends over his right side and holds onto him for support as she kicks up backwards, hitting him in the head with a reverse snap kick. He is dazed with pain. She steps away from his side and stomps down on the back of his right knee, causing him to collapse. Faith grabs Angel by the shirt and launches him into the air. He lands on one side of the couch and backrolls over the coffee table to the other section set at a right angle. He is severely stunned. Faith runs over to him, sees that he is defenseless and raises her stake. She swings down hard with it directly at his chest, when out of nowhere an arm reaches in and stays her swing. She looks to her side and sees that it's Buffy.", "Faith: (very confused) What? Buffy grabs her by the waist and throws her away from Angel.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Xander are grinding and mixing powders for the spell to invoke Living Flame.", "Xander: Think we got it?", "Willow: Well, it's either the catalyst for Living Flame or just some really smelly sand. (looks at Xander, worried) We'll have to test this.", "Xander: I'll double-check. He reads through his book, and Willow notices his suddenly intent stare while reading.", "Willow: What?", "Xander: I know what the glove does. He angles the book so she can read and points to a passage. She quickly absorbs the information.", "Willow: There's no time to test this. She quickly grabs a plastic bag and pulls it open. Xander blows out the candles on the table, grabs the grinding bowl and pours the mix into the plastic bag. Willow spins the neck of the bag to seal it, and they both race out of the library.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Buffy is faced off against Faith, ready to fight.", "Buffy: I can't let you do it, Faith.", "Faith: You're confused, Twinkie. (smiles ironically) Let me clear you up. (points at Angel) Vampire. (points at herself) Slayer. (points at Angel again) Dead vampire.", "Buffy: There's a lot that you don't understand.", "Gwendolyn: (groggy) Faith... The two Slayers look over at her.", "Gwendolyn: (weak from her fight) She doesn't know. She's blinded by love.", "Buffy: Faith, no.", "Gwendolyn: Trust me. Faith looks back and forth between them.", "Buffy: (drops her guard) Faith, we can figure this out... Faith does a full spinning hook kick to Buffy's face. She takes the hit hard, falling to her knees. Faith delivers two roundhouse kicks to Buffy's gut while she's still on the floor. Buffy stands up and does an uppercut punch to Faith's right arm, knocking the stake from her hand. Buffy backhand punches Faith in the face, and punches her in the chest. She shoves Faith backward, and Faith takes a few stumbling steps, trying to steady herself. Buffy does a jumping double roundhouse kick, alternating her legs, both of which are blocked by Faith. Buffy tries a backhand punch, but Faith blocks it. Buffy whirls around and punches Faith in the face with her other hand, catching Faith off guard. Faith leans in again and tries to punch Buffy, but she middle blocks it and punches Faith in the gut and again in the face. Faith drops to the floor, but thinks fast and tries to sweep kick Buffy's legs out from under her, but Buffy jumps to avoid it. Faith scrambles back up, and the two girls face off again. Buffy blocks two roundhouse kicks from Faith. Buffy tries a high out-to-in crescent kick, which Faith easily ducks. Faith rises back up and does a spinning back kick that hits Buffy squarely in the back, sending her to her knees. Faith rushes up behind her and grabs her in a choke hold around her neck. Buffy grabs Faith's arm and twists her body around, trying to throw Faith off, but to no avail. She grabs Faith's fingers and pulls them backward, cracking her knuckles.", "Faith: Auuuugh! Now Buffy is able to throw Faith off with a twist of her body, and both girls end up on the floor. Faith rolls into a wall, hitting her back against a corner. Buffy scrambles to her feet and runs at Faith, but she snaps out her leg and trips Buffy, making her fall again. Buffy rolls over her back and to her knees. While she is still crouched, Faith comes in for an axe kick, trying to hit her on the way down. Buffy cross blocks her leg, grabs her ankle and raises her arms, throwing Faith off balance and to the floor. Faith quickly gets to her feet, and the two Slayers face off once again. Buffy rushes Faith and grabs her by the waist. The two of them go crashing through the French doors out into the atrium. When the glass has fallen, they both roll away from each other and to their feet, facing off a fourth time. Faith gives Buffy an angry look, spins all the way around and backhand punches Buffy in the face. Faith tries another backhand punch, which Buffy blocks. Faith punches Buffy in the gut and does another backhand punch to her face, this time connecting and forcing Buffy to her hands and knees. Faith advances on her, but Buffy does a crouching back kick to her stomach, making her stagger backward into a metal garden chair. She quickly gets up, grabs the chair and throws it at Buffy, who sidesteps it, and it clangs to the stone walk. Cut inside. Xander and Willow come running into the mansion and find Gwendolyn still dazed by the wall.", "Gwendolyn: The glove! It's in the trunk.", "Xander: (reassuringly) We'll get it.", "Gwendolyn: (to Xander) Help Faith.", "Cut to the atrium. Faith does a half-spinning crescent kick, which Buffy ducks, but gets hit instead with Faith's next roundhouse kick. Faith swings a punch at Buffy, but she ducks it and blocks a backhand from Faith as well. Buffy fakes a punch and instead elbows Faith in the gut. Faith ducks the next punch. Buffy pushes Faith backwards and does a half spinning hook kick to her face, almost making her lose her balance. Cut inside. Xander looks up at the two Slayers fighting it out. He rushes out to intercede. Willow helps Gwendolyn to her feet.", "Cut to the atrium. Faith does a jumping roundhouse kick, which Buffy ducks. Xander comes rushing out through the broken doors.", "Xander: What are you... (sees them faced off again and gets between them) Stop! Guys, listen! Faith grabs him by the shirt and throws him into a lamppost. He bounces off of it and hits the stone walkway hard. Back at the doorway, Buffy does a diving punch, knocking Faith in the head and making her cry out in pain. Cut inside. Gwendolyn makes a beeline for the trunk with the glove. She throws the lid open and unfolds the rags wrapped around the glove. Reverently she takes the glove out of the trunk and cradles it in her hands.", "Gwendolyn: (smiling wickedly) Finally. Behind her Willow is confused by her words and actions. Sensing Willow's proximity, Gwendolyn swings the glove around in a wide arc, hitting her in the face. She falls to the marble floor unconscious.", "Cut to the atrium. Faith punches, but Buffy blocks. Buffy tries to punch, but is also blocked. Faith tries again, and is blocked again. Buffy grabs onto Faith's throat, and Faith reaches up to try to pry Buffy's hand off of her. Cut inside. Gwendolyn holds the glove in her left hand and looks down at it. Slowly she slides her right arm into the glove. Once it's inside, she makes a fist with the clawed fingers. Suddenly the metal claws surrounding the glove's opening begin closing, puncturing her arm one at a time until all ten have become permanently embedded in her forearm's flesh. She holds up her gloved arm and smiles maniacally at the sight, seemingly oblivious to the pain. She extends her arm above her, up toward the huge skylight and recites the Gaelic spell that will invoke the power of the glove.", "Gwendolyn: Taou huogan maqachte milegaing!", "Translation: Be mine, the power of Myhnegon! Up in the sky lightning strikes and thunder booms. Outside Buffy and Faith stop their fighting to see what's going on. Inside Gwendolyn breathes excitedly as she waits for the power to become hers. Lightning strikes again above the skylight. Outside Buffy and Faith stare at Gwendolyn, still holding onto each other, not yet willing to take the chance on releasing their grip. Inside Gwendolyn stares intently up at the sky, awaiting her reward for being the new wearer of the Glove of Myhnegon. Outside the two Slayers realize their fight is no longer with each other, and let go.", "Faith: What's going on? Gwendolyn allows herself to be distracted, lowers her gloved arm and looks over at Faith.", "Gwendolyn: (smiling maliciously) Faith! A word of advice: you're an idiot. Faith and Buffy both look at her in disbelief. Gwendolyn once again raises her arm to the sky and utters the words that will call forth the power of the glove.", "Gwendolyn: Tauo freim!", "Translation: Be free! On the floor Willow wakes up and turns around just in time to see a blindlingly bright bolt of lightning smash through the skylight and strike the glove. Shards of shattered glass fall everywhere, but Gwendolyn ignores them and rejoices in her new-found power. She turns to face the Slayers and extends the glove toward them.", "Gwendolyn: Tauo freim!", "Translation: Be free! The bolt of energy leaps from the glove at the two girls. They scramble out of the way, and the bolt hits a tree in the atrium, instantly setting it ablaze. Buffy and Faith look at it in amazement, then turn their attention to what they can do about Gwendolyn. Angel also comes to now, and quickly takes in the situation. Willow gets to her feet and begins backing away, stiff with fear, staring at Gwendolyn in shocked horror. The would-be Watcher spins around and aims the glove at her.", "Gwendolyn: Tauo freim!", "Translation: Be free! Thinking fast, Angel jumps to his feet and rushes toward Willow. A lightning bolt shoots through the skylight, hits the glove and is redirected at Willow. Angel reaches her just in time and roughly tackles her to the floor out of harm's way. The bolt hits the fireplace instead and leaves a deep scorch mark in the marble. Outside Buffy comes up with a plan.", "Buffy: (to Faith) Can you draw her fire?", "Faith: You bet I can.", "Buffy: Go do it. Faith gets to her feet and runs into the mansion. Gwendolyn sees her coming. Faith ducks into a hallway and keeps running. Gwendolyn surmises that Faith will appear at the other hallway leading from the opposite end of the room, and extends her arm in that direction.", "Gwendolyn: Tauo freim!", "Translation: Be free! Another lightning bolt strikes the glove and is sent in the direction of the hallway just as Faith comes running out of it. She dives behind the couch, avoiding the blast from the glove. Thrilled with the power that is now hers, Gwendolyn holds the glove up before her, staring at it with lustful desire in her eyes.", "Gwendolyn: There's nothing you can do to me now. Outside Buffy sifts through the broken glass, finds a larger shard, gets to her feet and runs into the mansion.", "Gwendolyn: I have the glove. With the glove comes the power.", "Buffy: I'm getting that. Gwendolyn looks over at Buffy in surprise. Buffy throws the shard of glass end over end. It flies like a spinning blade at Gwendolyn and slices cleanly through her upper arm, severing it and the glove from her body. With nothing to control it now, the power of the glove becomes erratic, and small bolts and sparks leap from it in random directions. Another bolt of lightning strikes through the skylight, and not having a target this time, hits Gwendolyn in the chest, with a few small tendrils going in through her eyes. She screams at the top of her lungs as her body begins to writhe in pain. Everyone watches helplessly as she keeps screaming and the lightning bolts keep coming. Buffy shuts her eyes to the sight. A moment later, with one final bright lightning strike, what's left of a one-armed Gwendolyn vanishes in a bright flash of light and energy. A few small arcs of electricity are all that remain as the last of the energy dissipates, and the mansion is again in relative darkness. Buffy opens her eyes. Willow and Angel get to their feet. Outside Xander gets up also and heads inside. Faith stands up from behind the couch. All that is left in the center of the room are bits of glass and framework from the skylight, a cloud of smoke slowly rising upward and the Glove of Myhnegon with Gwendolyn's severed arm still firmly in its grip. One by one the ten claws open up, releasing it.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next day. Cut to the student lounge. Willow and Oz are sitting on one of the couches across the coffee table from Xander and Cordelia, who are sitting on the other.", "Cordelia: So there's no more glove thingy?", "Xander: No. Little Living Flame, little mesquite, gone for good.", "Oz: Sounds like we missed a lot of fun.", "Xander: Then we're telling it wrong.", "Willow: What do you think Buffy and Angel are gonna do?", "Xander: Boy, do I don't know. (nods) Cordelia gives him a strange look.", "Willow: Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey death. That sort of makes me like him again. (smiles thinly)", "Xander: Well, as long as she and Angel don't get pelvic, we'll be okay, I guess. Cordelia doesn't like the way Xander phrased that, and crosses her arms. Buffy walks up the stairs to meet them. Xander sits up straight.", "Buffy: What are you guys talking about?", "Oz: Oddly enough, your boyfriend. Again.", "Buffy: (looks down sadly) He's not my boyfriend. (sits next to Xander) Really, truly, he's... (sighs) I don't know. She looks over at Xander and Cordelia. They both look back.", "Buffy: (hesitatingly) Are we cool?", "Xander: Yeah! Just seeing the two of you kissing after everything that happened, I leaned toward the postal. (pauses) But I trust you.", "Cordelia: I don't. Just for the record. Buffy raises her eyebrows, not all that surprised. Behind her Giles clears his throat, and she turns to face him. He's leaning against the railing with a large bandage on his left temple.", "Buffy: Let me guess: Gwendolyn Post: not a Watcher.", "Giles: Yes, she was. (cautiously takes the steps) She was, uh, kicked out by the council a couple of years ago for misuses of dark power. They swear there was a memo.", "Buffy: Well, I better go. (to Xander) Little more damage control. She gets up and heads out of the lounge.", "Willow: (sighs) The whole Angel thing is so weird.", "Giles: (slowly sits next to Xander) Yes, well, we'll have to see how that unfolds, won't we?", "Cut to Faith's motel room. She's lying on the bed, flipping through a magazine and watching Dragnet in black and white. A man opens his door to talk with the officers.", "Man: Yes, sir?", "Friday: Police officers. My name's Friday, this is... There's a knock on Faith's door.", "Man: How are you?", "Faith: Come in. Buffy opens the door, peeks in and then comes into the room.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Man: Called the police just a little while ago. Talked to a man down there. I didn't get his name, though.", "Buffy: The place looks nice.", "Faith: Yeah, it's real Spartan.", "Friday: Can you show us where they broke in, please?", "Buffy: How are you?", "Faith: Five-by-five.", "Buffy: I'll interpret that as good. Faith doesn't respond, but just continues paging through her magazine.", "Buffy: Look, Gwendolyn Post, or whoever she may be, had us all fooled. Even Giles.", "Faith: (without looking up) Yeah, well, you can't trust people. I should've learned that by now.", "Buffy: I realize this is gonna sound funny coming from someone that just spent a lot of time kicking your face... but you can trust me.", "Faith: (looks up, amused) Is that right? (tosses the magazine aside)", "Buffy: I know I kept secrets, but I didn't have a choice. I'm on your side.", "Faith: *I'm* on my side, (nods) and that's enough.", "Buffy: (shakes her head) Not always.", "Faith: (shrugs) Is that it?", "Buffy: Yeah, I guess.", "Faith: Alright. Well, then, I'll see you. She averts her eyes and stares at the TV. Buffy takes the hint and turns to go. Faith shakes her head, having a second thought.", "Faith: Uh, Buffy?", "Buffy: (faces her expectantly) Yeah? Faith reconsiders again for a long moment, and changes her mind again.", "Faith: Nothing. Buffy lowers her eyes, disappointed. Slowly she turns back to the door, opens it and leaves. Faith looks around her Spartan room and inhales and exhales deeply. Cut outside. Buffy goes over to the stairs and pauses for a moment, staring sadly into space, and then starts down the steps. Cut inside. The camera pulls back on Faith alone in her bed, staring out of the window for a moment, then back at the TV." ]

[ "A lovelorn Spike ( James Marsters ) returns and kidnaps Willow to cast a love spell on Drusilla . Stashing Willow and a wounded Xander at the factory, Spike soon concocts a new plan while Buffy, Oz, Giles, and Cordelia hunt their friends down." ]

[ "Prologue: Morning at Sunnydale High School. Willow and Xander slowly walk together across the lawn toward the walkway to the main entrance. In their hands they have the results of their Scholastic Aptitude Tests, with which neither is particularly happy.", "Willow: This is a nightmare. This is... My world is spinning.", "Xander: It's not that bad, Willow, really.", "Willow: 740? Verbal?! I'm-I'm... (searches for a word) pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.", "Xander: (shrugs) That's right. And the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot. They fold up their score reports as they near a bench at the side of the walkway.", "Willow: I just... (sits and slouches, depressed) Where did I go wrong? Xander sits down next to her and puts his arm around her in comfort, but not missing the opportunity to give her hair a gentle stroke.", "Xander: You did amazing, Willow. As usual. Behind them Oz and Cordelia approach.", "Cordelia: You guys get your scores? Xander instantly lets go of Willow, hops to his feet and rushes to meet her.", "Xander: Cordelia! (points) Willow was very sad by her academic failure. (reaches for Cordelia's score report) How did you do? He snags it from her hand, unfolds it and reads it.", "Xander: This is not good.", "Cordelia: What's not good? Oz gives Willow a reassuring stroke of her hair. She just sadly hands him her report to see.", "Xander: Well, I'm just worried it may hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain.", "Cordelia: (yanks her scores from his hand) Please. I have *some* experience in covering these things up.", "Oz: (to Willow) Well, I can see why you'd be upset. Willow gives him a hurt look, grabs her report back from him and looks down at the ground, her feelings of failure evident in her furrowed brow.", "Oz: That was my sarcastic voice.", "Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.", "Oz: I've been told that. (trying to be upbeat) But we should celebrate, do something.", "Cordelia: Like, the four of us? She gives Xander a pointed look, shaking her head and clearly mouthing \"No\". He ignores her completely.", "Xander: A double date! It could have potential. Buffy walks up the steps from the street, a long look on her face, and joins the gang.", "Willow: (brightens and stands up) Buffy! Hey! Did you get your SAT scores? Buffy gives her a weak nod.", "Xander: By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drive-through window side by side.", "Buffy: They're just test scores, right? (hands hers to Willow) What do they really mean, anyway?", "Willow: (unfolds it and reads) (very excited) 1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Buffy raises her eyebrows at her friend. Cordelia's eyes go wide with amazement.", "Willow: (more calmly) Okay, (folds the report) so academic achievement gets me a little excited. Buffy hands her scores to Xander for him to see.", "Xander: Buff, that's amazing.", "Cordelia: Let me see that. She yanks it out of Xander's hand before he can even begin to unfold it and checks it out.", "Oz: Yeah. With scores like that, you can apply pretty much anywhere you want.", "Willow: Buffy, this could, like, change your whole future.", "Buffy: (unsure what to make of it) The thought had occurred to me.", "Xander: Then why the sour puss?", "Buffy: I don't know. I guess... my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was going to have one.", "Cordelia: (smiling hugely) Well, I think this is great! Now you can leave and never come back! She gets looks from everyone. Xander hands Buffy back her scores.", "Cordelia: Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever wanna come back here?", "Cut to a small park and playground that night. A classic 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite crashes through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and screeches to a halt. The door opens and a nearly empty liquor bottle falls out and smashes to pieces on the pavement. Spike slides off of his seat and hits the street flat on his back on top of the broken glass, drunk out of his mind. He lifts his head unsteadily and tries to raise himself to his elbows.", "Spike: Home, sweet... (chuckles) home. He passes out and collapses back to the pavement. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike's old burned-out factory. The place is a shambles, although the great table where Giles started the fire is essentially intact, if scorched. Spike strolls through the area, stepping over the strewn chairs, while singing a few bars from \"My Way\".", "Spike: And more / Much more than this / I did it my way", "Cut to the bedroom in the basement. Spike comes hopping merrily down the stairs.", "Spike: Drusilla! I'm home! When he reaches the bottom he breaks out into a pathetic fit of giggles which quickly turn to sobs. He sniffs a few times and wipes his nose on his sleeve. He sees what's left of the burned bed and steps up to it, steadying himself on a pillar. In despair he tosses his liquor bottle onto the bed and steps around the column. From there he sees those members of Drusilla's doll collection that didn't survive the fire piled on her dresser, all badly scorched. He reaches for one and picks it up. The features on its fine porcelain face can still be made out, but the paint, hair and dress are long gone. He stares at the doll intensely.", "Spike: Why did you do it, baby? Why did you leave me? We were happy here. He tries to suppress a sob and shakes it off, and suddenly he's wearing his game face. He roars at the doll angrily and throws it hard down at the concrete floor. He spins around, looking for something to smash it with. He finds a tall iron candlestick, grabs it and wields it back.", "Spike: YOU... (swings the candlestick) STUPID... (swings again) WORTHLESS... (swings again) BITCH! (calms a bit) Look what you've done to me. He stares down at what's left of the doll, its delicate porcelain features smashed and scattered, limbs torn and singed. He drops the iron candlestick on top of it.", "Cut to Cordelia's locker in the halls at school. She is getting what she needs for class while Xander tries to talk her into the double date thing.", "Xander: C'mon. It'll be fun!", "Cordelia: I don't know. I just thought we were gonna do something... you know, classy?", "Xander: What's classier than bowling?", "Cordelia: (raises her eyebrows at him) Apart from everything ever? Let's see...", "Xander: Oz and Willow are down. You're the swing vote. (skips around to her other side) I guarantee fun. Cordelia can't help but give him a warm smile and giggle. From his new vantage point Xander can now see the inside of her locker door.", "Xander: Hey, those are from the pier. There are three pictures of them. One of the two of them sitting on a bench with their arms around each other and smiling, another of just Xander sporting a huge smile, and the third of her riding on Xander's back, smiling playfully with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.", "Cordelia: Yeah. Uh, I just got them developed.", "Xander: (not yet sure what to make of it) There's pictures. Of me. In your locker. I never knew I was locker door material. She closes her locker, and they begin walking down the hall.", "Cordelia: Well... just barely. Besides, (smiles) I look really cute in those pictures. They meet Oz and Willow coming the other way.", "Oz: Hey. So what's the verdict? Do we bowl? Xander gives Cordelia a pleading look.", "Cordelia: (gives in) We bowl.", "Willow: Great! Double bowling date. (pats Oz's chest) I'm on Oz's team.", "Xander: Yeah? Well, (points at Oz) prepare to be crushed. (takes Cordelia's arm) Maybe we should practice.", "Cordelia: (nods) Yeah. They go their separate ways again. Oz goes with Willow to her locker.", "Willow: They don't stand a chance. I'm really good. Or I used to be, (works her combination) when they had the inflatable things in the gutters. She opens her locker door as Oz holds up something small wrapped in newspaper. She faces him and notices him holding it up to her.", "Willow: What's this? (takes it)", "Oz: It's a gift.", "Willow: (smiles) What's the occasion? (unwraps it)", "Oz: Pretty much *you* are. Wrapped in the paper is a PEZ candy dispenser with a green witch's head on top, complete with red hair and black hat. Willow is very surprised and gives Oz a none-too-gentle slap on the left side of his chest.", "Willow: (excited) It's a little, uh, PEZ witch!", "Oz: It's kind of a theme present. Do you like it?", "Willow: (breathless) I like... I-I *more* than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest... We have to find a little PEZ werewolf, so little PEZ witch can have a boyfriend.", "Oz: I don't think they make a werewolf PEZ. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog.", "Willow: This is... just so thoughtful.", "Oz: Well, I think about you.", "Willow: (suddenly disappointed) Oh... I don't have anything to give you.", "Oz: (smiles at her) Yeah, you do. He puts his hand on her shoulder briefly and then heads down the hall to class. Willow follows him with her gaze for a moment, her expression showing her worry about the levels of complexity this just added to her life. She looks down at the PEZ dispenser.", "Cut to the library. Giles looks over Buffy's SAT score report while she plays with a contraption from Giles' huge pile of camping equipment and clothing laid out on the big table.", "Giles: Buffy, this is, this is remarkable.", "Buffy: So is this. (puts the thing down) Where is this retreat thingy, the Yukon? (reaches for something else)", "Giles: It's quite nearby, actually. (Buffy finds a compass) It's, um, it's the clearing at the top of Breaker's Woods. Buffy opens the compass and sees that there is a mirror inside the lid. She quickly checks her hair.", "Giles: It's the site of some fascinating druidic rituals.", "Buffy: (closes the compass) Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? (Giles takes the compass from her) I mean, you're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything.", "Giles: (confused) What? Oh, my gear. No, no, this is, this is basic necessities.", "Buffy: Giles, you pack like me.", "Giles: (gives her a little smile) Here. (hands Buffy her scores) I suspect your mother will want to, uh, put it on the refrigerator.", "Buffy: (puts the report away) Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.", "Giles: (unsure what she meant) I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?", "Buffy: Yes. She was happy. Giles smiles in relief, and goes over to the cage.", "Buffy: She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college, maybe someplace else. Inside the cage Giles pauses from pulling down a book.", "Buffy: I know. I know, I said that you were gonna have a goat. Responsibilities and all. I know the drill.", "Giles: She may be right. (comes back out of the cage)", "Buffy: Yeah, I know, I figured you'd... She gives Giles a bewildered look.", "Buffy: Okay. Be kind, rewind.", "Giles: With scores like these, Buffy, you could have a first-rate education. I'm, I'm not suggesting that you... ignore your calling, but, um... you need to look to your future. (goes back to the table) And with Faith here, i-i-it may be that you can (draws a breath) move on. For a-a time, at least. (packs the book)", "Buffy: (unsure how to react) Wow.", "Giles: Well, let's, um, let's discuss it when I get back. I-in the meantime, um, I'd like you to continue training while I'm, while I'm gone, and, um, please don't do anything rash.", "Buffy: 'Anything rash', meaning...", "Giles: (hesitates for an instant) Are you planning on seeing Angel?", "Buffy: Yes. Actually, I am. (Giles averts his eyes) Look, but there's not gonna be any rash. (realizes how that sounds and gets a look from Giles) Anywhere. (defensively) Okay. We're, we're friends. That's all either of us wants. (looks at Giles seriously) Nothing's gonna happen. Cut outside. Willow and Xander come walking around the corner from the colonnade and through the breezeway.", "Willow: Something's gonna happen.", "Xander: Like what?", "Willow: Uh! It's a mistake! It's a terrible, fatal mistake. I see that now.", "Xander: It's just bowling. They turn down a covered walkway.", "Willow: It's *bad* bowling. I-it's a double date, with all of us, and they're gonna know!", "Xander: How are they gonna know?", "Willow: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental...", "Xander: You're turned on by rented shoes?", "Willow: That's not the issue. They stop walking, and Xander faces her.", "Xander: Okay, well, let me ask you this: what are they gonna know? That we're friends. Old, old friends. And maybe we've had one or two indiscretions, but that's all past. Look. We're just very good friends who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?", "Willow: No! Well, okay. (jerks away) No! (holds up the dispenser) PEZ! They both pause for a moment to calm down and think.", "Xander: Maybe bowling might be too much to handle. Man! (strokes her hair) I wish I wasn't so attracted to you. (takes a deep breath) I wish we could make it all stop.", "Willow: Any suggestions?", "Cut to the kitchen at Buffy's house. She is making microwave popcorn. Her mother has her hands full of college brochures.", "Joyce: Carnegie Mellon has a wonderful design curriculum. Oh, and Brown University's history program is... You like history, right?", "Buffy: Could we talk about this another time? (gets a large bowl) All day it's been like, 'Congratulations! Go away.' (takes the bowl to the island)", "Joyce: That's not it. It's just you belong at a, a good old-fashioned college with, with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires. The microwave beeps.", "Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction. She goes to get the bag of popcorn.", "Joyce: Y'know, you're always talking about how you wish you could lead a more normal life. Well, this is your chance!", "Buffy: Yeah, it's just not that simple. (takes the popcorn to the bowl) I have responsibilities. (opens the bag)", "Joyce: I know, I know, but I spoke with Mr. Giles, and he said...", "Buffy: ...that Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer Pageant. I know. (dumps the popcorn into the bowl)", "Joyce: It's time to think about your future, Buffy, about your whole life. I mean, honestly, is there anything keeping you here?", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He's sitting by the fireplace quietly reading \"La Nausea\", by Jean Paul Sartre. Spike spies on him, peering in between the boards that have been haphazardly nailed across the destroyed doorway to the atrium. Finally Angel closes his book, gets up and walks into a rear hallway. Spike gives him a drunken humph.", "Spike: (slurred) Yeah, you. You think I'm afraid of you? He steps back from the boards, swaying unsteadily.", "Spike: We were happy! You brainwashed her. I could just... He looks at his bottle and takes a long drink. When it's empty he tosses it aside in a huff.", "Spike: Yeah, I'll show *you* who's a cool guy. (starts to leave) You're goin' down. In his drunkenness he trips over one of the flower beds, falls into it and passes out.", "Cut to dawn. The first red rays of the sun appear over the hills and shine into the atrium. Spike lies in shadow, but his left hand is extended away from his body, and a beam of light nears it as the sun rises. Soon his hand is fully exposed to the light and it begins to smoke. A couple of seconds later it bursts into flame. The new light source shines into Spike's face, and he wakes and sees his hand aflame.", "Spike: Whoa! He leaps to his feet and runs over to the fountain, screaming all the way. He holds his hands under it, but it's going at just a trickle. Quickly he bends down and jams his hand into the pool of water at its base, dousing the flames. No sooner is that problem gone than he realizes he's standing in shaded but direct sunlight, and he's beginning to smoke elsewhere. He pulls at his heavy overcoat, trying to shade his face, as he scrambles up the stairs and out of the atrium.", "Cut to inside Spike's car. The rear driver's side door whips open and Spike dives in, right on top of a huge pile of empty beer cans, liquor bottles and other trash. He quickly slams the door shut and grabs a bottle from the front seat. He pulls the cork out with his teeth and pours a generous splash over his burned hand. He grunts loudly in pain and takes a good drink. The immediate emergency taken care of, he relaxes a bit and tries to catch his breath.", "Spike: This is just too much.", "Cut to a small magic shop. The shopkeeper hears the rear door close and goes to investigate. There she finds Spike looking through one of her books.", "Shopkeeper: Did you come in through the back?", "Spike: Yeah. I need a curse.", "Shopkeeper: A what?", "Spike: (exasperated) A curse! Y'know, something nasty. Boils. I wanna give him boils all over his face. You know, dripping pustules. Let's really go for the gusto here.", "Shopkeeper: I'm hearing a lot of negative energy, and I bet...", "Spike: (interrupts) Leprosy! Alright, a spell that makes his parts fall off. That sounds proper.", "Shopkeeper: We don't carry... (the front door chimes) leprosy. She turns to see Willow come in through the front door.", "Shopkeeper: Would you excuse me a moment? She goes to help her new customer.", "Shopkeeper: Blessed be. Anything in particular I can help you find?", "Willow: Yeah. (holds up her notepad) It's all here on the list. (reads down the list) Skink root, essence of rose thorn, canary feathers...", "Shopkeeper: Aha! (smiles) A love spell. Want that old lover to come back to you? (Spike is suddenly interested in their conversation) Are you sure you know what you're doing, hon?", "Willow: (flustered) No. Oh, I mean, yes! I... I know how to do a love spell, but this is more of an anti-love spell. Yeah. Uh, kind of a de- lusting. The supplies are basically the same, right?", "Shopkeeper: (smiles) Basically. (starts to gather things) Although raven feathers tend to breed a little more discontent than canary. Let me just get some things... She gathers some bags of herbs, jars of root powders, a feather and whatever else and brings them all to the counter. Spike watches intently from behind the bookcase.", "Shopkeeper: Okay. Mm-hmm. (adds it up) That'll be $15.80 for the lot. She bags it all while Willow pulls out her money.", "Willow: Thanks! She takes the bag and leaves. The shopkeeper turns her attention back to Spike and walks back to where she left him.", "Shopkeeper: (smiling) So, did you find a spell book? Spike jumps out from behind the bookcase all vamped out and grabs her around the neck. The shopkeeper gasps in fright, but can't bring herself to scream.", "Spike: Forget the book. He leans in for the bite, and they collapse to the floor. When he's sucked her dry he looks back up at the door where he saw Willow go.", "Spike: I just got a better idea. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale City Hall. Cut to the Mayor's office. The camera is low to the floor. Mayor Wilkins is practicing his putting in the company of his assistant Allan. He taps the ball, and it comes at the camera in a nearly perfect straight line, just missing its target.", "Mayor Wilkins: Oh, look at that! Every time, cuts to the left. He gets down on his hands and knees to check the lie of the floor.", "Mayor Wilkins: See, and it's not the carpet. It's me. (gets up to retrieve his ball) I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game. (drops the ball for another try) Of course, (chuckles) it's a little late for that. (chuckles) (to Allan) I don't suppose I could offer *your* soul, huh? Really help me on the green. Allan gives him a shocked look.", "Mayor Wilkins: I'm just funning. So, we have a Spike problem, do we?", "(takes another shot)", "Allan: He's been spotted back in town.", "The Mayor's shot is on target this time, but comes up short. He lets out a frustrated sigh and goes to retrieve his ball.", "Allan: And there was an incident at a magic shop in broad daylight. Police had a hell of a time covering it up.", "Mayor Wilkins: (drops the ball) (laughs) Well, yes, y'know, he was up to all sorts of shenanigans last year. We had a world of fun trying to guess what he'd do next.", "Allan: I remember. (leans against the Mayor's desk) The Mayor whistles at Allan, who immediately stands back up.", "Mayor Wilkins: But I guess we're past that now. This year is too important to let a loose cannon rock the boat.", "Allan: Should I have Mr. Trick send a... committee to deal with this?", "Mayor Wilkins: Loose cannon. Rock the boat. Is that a mixed metaphor?", "Allan: (confused) Uh...", "Mayor Wilkins: (musing out loud) Boats did have cannons. And a loose one would cause it to rock. Oh, honestly. I don't know where my mind goes these days. (chuckles) Why don't you take care of that Spike problem? A committee, like you said.", "Allan: As good as done. (leaves the office)", "Mayor Wilkins: That's swell. Fore! He takes another shot, and this one is directly on target. He spreads his arms, elated.", "Mayor Wilkins: Hey!", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He places another log on the fire. Buffy is on the couch with a pile of brochures on her lap.", "Angel: College, huh?", "Buffy: Higher education. Kind of an intense proposition.", "Angel: Where do you wanna go? (slowly comes over to her)", "Buffy: (closes her brochure) I have no idea. My mom was the one that got all these. She's so excited, she can't stop talking about it. (Angel sits across from her) I had a really hard time coming up with an alibi so I could come over here.", "Angel: She doesn't know about me.", "Buffy: Big no. She's having enough trouble dealing with the Slayer issue. I don't think she's ready to process the information that... you and I are friends again. Anyway, I think this college jones is just a reaction to the whole Slayer thing.", "Angel: She wants you to get out.", "Buffy: Someplace a little less Hellmouthy. (nods) She has a point. (draws a breath) Y'know, but there are reasons to stay, too.", "Angel: What are they?", "Buffy: (taken aback) Um... you know, there's my Slayer duties, obviously. What do you think I should do?", "Angel: As a friend, I... (stands up) I think that you should leave. (goes to the fireplace) This is a good opportunity for you. He leans against the cold stone, facing away from her. Buffy gets up to gather her brochures.", "Buffy: Yeah. It's not like there's any great thing keeping me here. She stuffs them into her bag. Angel turns around when he hears the papers rustling. Buffy zips her bag closed and pulls it onto her shoulder.", "Buffy: Thanks for the advice. It's another perspective to consider.", "Angel: Where are you going? You just got here. It's early.", "Buffy: Yeah, well, my mom starts worrying a lot earlier these days. I'll stop by soon. She leaves without looking back. Angel watches until she's gone.", "Cut to the science room at school. It's dark. Willow is grinding the ingredients for the anti-love spell in a ceramic bowl. Xander walks into the dark room and heads toward Willow.", "Xander: Whoa! It smells like church in here. (sniffs) No, wait... Evil church.", "Willow: It's just chemistry stuff. An experiment.", "Xander: So you said when you called. Why do I have to be here?", "Willow: It'll help you on the exam. You're way behind.", "Xander: But that's why you love me, right? (bobs his head) Academically dangerous?", "Willow: (ignores his comment) Here. (hands him a raven feather) Hold this.", "Xander: A feather. And who will I be tickling? He runs it along Willow's check, and for a moment she enjoys it and giggles, but her rational mind quickly takes over and she gruffly nudges his hand aside.", "Willow: (warningly) Shush. Xander isn't too happy about that, but knows it has to be that way. Willow checks her spell book.", "Willow: Okay. Bring mixture to a boil... She lights the Bunsen burner below a flask of liquid.", "Xander: I assume this isn't going to make us late for our evening of bowling magic?", "Willow: (jerks up) There's no magic! I mean, bowling, yeah. Cordelia and Oz are gonna meet us here later.", "Xander: Can we turn these lights on? He notices something familiar about the book Willow is working from and steps around her to get a better look.", "Xander: Is that a spell book?", "Willow: (tries to obscure it with her hand) No, no, no! Chemistry book.", "Xander: Wait a minute. This is love spell stuff! You're doing a love spell?", "Willow: No! Of course not! This is a purely scientific... Xander picks the book up and shows her its title: \"Witchcraft\".", "Willow: ...de-lusting spell... for us. I thought it would go better if you didn't know.", "Xander: (raises his voice) Are you nuts, or have you forgotten that I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells?", "Willow: (raises hers back) But you said you wished that these feelings could just go away.", "Xander: Yeah, I wish for a *lot* of things! I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that!", "Willow: I can't do this anymore, Xander! I mean, this whole 'us' thing is... bleagh!", "Xander: So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check?", "Willow: (calmly) At this point, I'm thinking 'no'.", "Xander: I'm gonna get the lights, (walks) clean this place up before they get here (clicks them on) and start asking questions. Spike walks into the room behind him and grabs him around the neck.", "Willow: Xander! Spike starts to choke Xander, who struggles hard, but can't get free.", "Spike: I need to borrow the little girl. You don't mind, do you? Xander kicks out with his legs against the wall, and shoves Spike and himself across the room and into a metal shelf. Spike isn't fazed, and throws Xander aside to the floor. He tries to get up, but Spike punches him hard. Willow grabs a microscope and comes at Spike with it. He stops her in mid-swing.", "Spike: Threatening me? That's not nice. (Xander gets back up) We're all gonna be very best friends. He yanks the microscope from Willow's grips and swings it around into Xander's temple. The boy goes down, out cold.", "Willow: Xander!", "Cut to Spike's factory. Xander is laid out on what's left of Drusilla's bed. Willow nervously sits on the edge, fidgeting with her hands. Spike dumps a box full of supplies on the bed next to Xander.", "Spike: A spell. For me. You're gonna do a spell for me.", "Willow: Uh, what kind of spell?", "Spike: A *love* spell! Are you brain dead? (goes to the dresser) I'm gonna get what's mine. (grabs a bottle) What's mine. (uncorks it) Teach her to walk out on me. He takes several good swallows, then looks over at Willow.", "Spike: What are you staring at?", "Willow: (averts her eyes) Nothing.", "Spike: You can do it, right? You can make Dru love me again? Make her crawl!", "Willow: I-I can try.", "Spike: (grabs her neck) What are you talking about, trying? You'll do it!", "Willow: Yes, I'll do it! He lets go of her and breaks his bottle against a bedpost. He grabs her again and threatens her with the sharp edges.", "Spike: You lie to me, and I'll shove this through your face! You want that?", "Willow: (terrified) No...", "Spike: Right through to your BRAIN!", "Willow: No, please, no... He shoves her aside and leans against the bedpost, calming down.", "Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. He drops the broken bottle, walks around Willow and sits down next to her.", "Spike: She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. (sniffs) I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? He pauses for a moment to inhale and exhale deeply.", "Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I", "gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! (sniffs) I caught her on a park bench, making out with a *chaos* demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. He looks at Willow's pretty young face and strokes her silky auburn hair.", "Spike: She only did it to hurt me. (he takes his hand off of her) So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. (leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder) God, I'm so unhappy!", "Willow: (tentatively pats his knee) There, there.", "Spike: I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel? He raises his head and looks at her neck.", "Spike: Mmm. That smell... Your neck... He leans in to take a better whiff and then leans back, now in his game face.", "Spike: I haven't had a woman in weeks. Willow looks at him and jumps up in fright.", "Willow: Whoa! No! Hold it!", "Spike: Well, unless you count that shopkeeper. (stands up)", "Willow: (panting with fright) Now, now, hold on! I-I'll do your spell for you, and, and, and I'll get you Drusilla back, but, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind with me. Alright? He grabs her by the neck and bends her over, but makes no move to bite her. Instead he reverts to his human guise.", "Spike: Alright. (pushes her away) Get started. Willow steps around the bed to where Spike dumped the box of supplies.", "Willow: Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I-I don't know if this is gonna work right away.", "Spike: Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him (indicates Xander), and you try again.", "Willow: (looks through the supplies) This isn't enough.", "Spike: What? (comes toward her)", "Willow: (nervously) Well, there are other ingredients, a-and a-a-a book. I need a, a spell book. This isn't it.", "Spike: You've got one, though, at home?", "Willow: Not at home. I left it somewhere.", "Spike: (gets in her face) Where?", "Cut to the library. Buffy is skipping rope. Suddenly Oz and Cordelia come storming in. Buffy drops her rope and goes to meet them.", "Cordelia: Thank God you are here.", "Buffy: Yeah! Not all of us have dates tonight.", "Oz: Something's up.", "Cut to the science room. The three of them come in and look at the mess.", "Cordelia: We were supposed to meet in here. I don't know what could have happened. Buffy finds Willow's botched experiment.", "Buffy: What is all this stuff? I'm thinking weird science.", "Cordelia: Was Willow messing with her magic tricks again? Maybe they disappeared. Maybe she turned Xander into something ishy!", "Buffy: (looks around) Whatever happened, there was obviously a fight.", "Oz: I don't see any blood.", "Buffy: Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe...", "Cordelia: (points) You're having too many ors! Pick one!", "Buffy: I don't know. I need you guys to find Giles, okay? I'm gonna look for them. Maybe they didn't get too far.", "Cordelia: Where is Giles?", "Buffy: Uh, he's at a retreat in the clearing in Breaker's Woods.", "Oz: Yeah, I know the spot, but it's like a forty-five minute drive.", "Buffy: So motor! They all go on their respective missions.", "Cut to the library. Buffy strides in and heads straight for the cage and the weapons cabinet within. She is interrupted by the phone, and rushes over to the counter to answer it.", "Buffy: Giles?", "Joyce: (through the phone) Hi, Buffy. You still working out?", "Buffy: Uh, no, Mom, actually...", "Joyce: I was hoping that we could schedule a college talk later tonight. I admit I... (cut to her in the kitchen) overreacted before. You don't have to go all the way across the country. (sits at the island) I, um, picked up some brochures from some nearby schools, okay?", "Buffy: (cut to her) That's great, but now's really not a good time...", "Spike: (through the phone) Hello, Joyce. Buffy's eyes widen with recognition.", "Cut to the kitchen. Joyce looks behind her and sees Spike standing in the doorway.", "Cut to the library. Buffy's expression turns to horror when she realizes that it's Spike. She drops the phone and runs from the library as only a Slayer can.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at the Summers house. Joyce picks up the teakettle from the stove and takes it over to the island, where she pours some into a cup for Spike to make hot chocolate.", "Spike: So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know.", "Joyce: (sits across from him) Well, she sounds very unreasonable.", "Spike: She is. She's out of her mind. (sniffs) That's what I miss most about her. (smiles)", "Joyce: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy's father and", "I...", "Spike: (interrupts) No, this is different. Our love was eternal.", "Literally. (calms down) You got any of those little marshmallows?", "Joyce: Well, lemme look. She gets up to go check. Cut outside. Angel comes strolling through the neighborhood. He pauses to glance up into Buffy's house, and through the open door sees Spike sitting there with Joyce. Instantly he makes a dead run for the door, jumps the porch railing and tries to go in, but is surprised to find himself thrown back. Joyce is startled out of her seat, and she takes a few steps away. Angel growls at Spike in extreme anger.", "Angel: Spike.", "Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!", "Spike: (gets up behind Joyce, smiling) Yeah. You're not invited.", "Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us.", "Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe. (taunts Angel)", "Angel: Joyce, listen to me.", "Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.", "Spike: You're a very bad man.", "Angel: (seething with anger) Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. Spike makes like he's going to bite Joyce.", "Angel: You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!", "Spike: Yeah? You and what army? Buffy comes up behind him.", "Buffy: That would be me. She knocks Spike onto his back on the island and keeps him pinned there by the throat.", "Buffy: Angel, why don't you come on in? He steps in, and Joyce begins to panic.", "Joyce: Oh! Oh, no! She walks around to the far side of the island.", "Buffy: You shouldn't have come back, Spike.", "Spike: I do what I please.", "Joyce: Okay, I-I'm confused again. Spike makes a grab for Buffy's arm. Angel takes Spike's arm, yanks it off of Buffy and pins it to the island. Buffy grabs a wooden stirring spoon and makes a move to stake him.", "Spike: Willow!", "Buffy: (stays her thrust) You took Willow.", "Spike: You do me now, you'll never find the little witch.", "Joyce: (confused) Willow's a witch?", "Buffy: And Xander?", "Spike: Him, too.", "Joyce: What, Xander's a witch? I... Angel grabs Spike by the coat and lifts him off of the island.", "Angel: Where are they?", "Spike: (shoves Angel off) Doesn't work like that, peaches. And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that. (to Buffy) Your friend's gonna work a little magic for me. She does my spell, I let them both go.", "Buffy: You're not famous for keeping your promises, Spike.", "Spike: Well, you and your great poof here wanna tag along, that's fine. But you get in my way, and *you* kill your friends.", "Cut to Oz's van. He speeds along the road to Breaker's Woods.", "Cordelia: What if they were kidnapped by Colombian drug lords? They could be cutting off Xander's ear right now! Or other parts. Oz sniffs the air and stops the van.", "Cordelia: Hello? Oz sniffs the air some more.", "Oz: It's Willow. She's nearby.", "Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.", "Oz: She's afraid. He puts the van in reverse and backs up a bit.", "Cordelia: Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.", "Oz: I really agree. He puts the van in drive and turns down a side street.", "Cut to an alleyway. Buffy, Angel and Spike come walking out.", "Spike: Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to... (stops and grabs his head) Oh, God.", "Buffy: What's wrong? Not that I care.", "Spike: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. (bends over) Oh, God. I wish I was dead.", "Buffy: (pulls out a stake) Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard...", "Spike: (straightens up) Hey! Back off!", "Angel: (gets between them) Buffy, we still need him to find the others.", "Buffy: (lowers her stake) Need him? He's probably just got them locked up in the factory.", "Spike: Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?", "Buffy: Fine. Can we just get this over with? She starts down the road. Spike and Angel follow close behind. When they reach a corner, Spike has a flashback when he recognizes a bench.", "Spike: Oh, God.", "Angel: Now what?", "Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. He steps over to the bench and sits on it.", "Spike: (chuckles) You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder. He looks to Buffy and Angel for a reaction, but they just stare back blankly.", "Buffy: I guess you had to be there. She continues on her way.", "Cut to the magic shop. Buffy kicks the door open and they walk in. There is yellow police tape stretched across the room, separating the counter and the shelves of merchandise from the entry area.", "Buffy: Your work? She yanks down the police tape and tosses it aside.", "Spike: Here's your list. (hands it to Buffy)", "Buffy: (reads) 'Essence of violet, cloves...' Angel?", "Angel: Right. (starts to look)", "Buffy: 'Set of runic tablets.' Spike can get the rat's eyes. She and Spike also start looking for ingredients.", "Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.", "Buffy: Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.", "Spike: The spell's gonna get her back.", "Angel: Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you.", "Spike: Shut your gob!", "Angel: She really is just kind of fickle.", "Spike: SHUT UP! He runs at Angel, turns him around and punches him in the face. Angel grabs his arm in mid-swing before he can do it again. Buffy grabs him from behind, and between her and Angel, Spike gets thrown back, though he manages to keep his footing.", "Spike: (yells) What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. (sobs) I'm nothing without her.", "Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.", "Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk. (goes back to looking for stuff)", "Buffy: Meaning?", "Spike: (faces them) The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave. (turns away)", "Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.", "Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.", "Angel: That's right.", "Spike: (faces them) You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. (points at his temple) Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... (clasps his chest) blood screaming inside you to work its will. Neither Buffy nor Angel want to hear this.", "Spike: *I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it. He turns his attention back to finding Willow's ingredients. Buffy's eyes almost meet Angel's, but she quickly averts them. Spike spots what he's looking for.", "Spike: Hmm! (grabs the bottle) Eye of rat.", "Cut to the basement at Spike's factory. Willow is pounding against the door with her shoulder, letting out a good grunt each time. After several hits, she hears Xander moan below. She comes down to the bed to check on him. The side of his head is covered in dried blood.", "Willow: Xander? (sits on the bed) Are you okay? He tries to sit up.", "Xander: Dizzy. (winces) Kind of nauseous, too. Do I remember having a fight with Spike?", "Willow: You do. He feels the caked blood on the side of his face.", "Xander: I won, right? Kicked his ass?", "Willow: You were real brave. Do you need to barf?", "Xander: No, I'll be okay. (looks around) Where are we?", "Willow: The factory. We're locked in the basement.", "Xander: That burnt-out place in the middle of nowhere? So we're pretty much in a 'scream all you want' scenario.", "Willow: Pretty much.", "Xander: Why didn't he just kill us?", "Willow: He-he wants me to do a love spell.", "Xander: What?", "Willow: Drusilla broke up with him.", "Xander: Gee, and we had all hoped those crazy kids would make it work.", "Willow: He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days.", "Xander: (tries again to sit up) So what are our options? (winces)", "Willow: Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us.", "Xander: Give me a third option.", "Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.", "Xander: Will, we're not gonna die. (tries to get up, Willow helps) If he's so drunk, he'll get sloppy, and then I'll make my move. (they collapse back onto the bed) As long as my move doesn't involve standing up or using my limbs, we'll be okay. Their fall put them very close to each other, and the temptation to kiss is strong.", "Willow: We're not supposed to.", "Xander: Exemption for impending death situation. Willow goes along with that, and they kiss. Xander reaches his arm around her as he lies back. She puts her arm around his shoulder to hold him close. Behind them Oz and Cordelia come down the stairs.", "Cordelia: Oh, God! Willow immediately rolls off of Xander, and they see them there.", "Xander: Oh, God.", "Willow: Oh, God, Oz...", "Oz: We have to get outta here. Cordelia is heartbroken, and runs up the stairs.", "Xander: (gets up) Cordy, I... When she gets just over half-way up, the charred stairs give beneath her running feet, and she falls into the space below, onto a rubble pile of old concrete and rebar. Forgetting his pain, Xander scrambles up the steps, followed closely by Oz and Willow.", "Xander: Cordelia! They look down at her through the gaping hole.", "Xander: Cordelia! She barely moves, just turning her head to look up through the hole above her.", "Cordelia: (whispers) I fell... The camera pans from her face over to her abdomen, where a long piece of rusty iron rebar is protruding from her left side, just under her rib cage.", "Cut to the street outside the magic shop. Spike, Buffy and Angel come out, each holding a bag of love spell ingredients.", "Buffy: Okay, Spike, we got the stuff. Where are they?", "Spike: What's your hurry?", "Buffy: My hurry is my intense desire to get you out of my life. You tend to cause trouble.", "Spike: I'll be out of your life in a few short hours. No trouble at all. Without any warning they find themselves confronted by one of Spike's former men.", "Lenny: Hello, Spike. They look around at the gang of vampires surrounding them.", "Buffy: No trouble at all. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The street in front of the magic shop. Buffy, Spike and Angel face off with Lenny and his gang.", "Spike: Lenny. How have you been?", "Lenny: Better since you left. You should have stayed gone.", "Spike: Is that right? (tosses his bag aside)", "Buffy: You know, he was just leaving. (to Spike) Don't you start anything.", "Spike: This pissant used to work for me.", "Buffy: (to Angel) The guys are in trouble. We can't risk this.", "Angel: Look, I don't think we have a choice.", "Lenny: You other two can walk away from this.", "Spike: (to Buffy) I die, your chums die.", "Buffy: (to Lenny) Sorry. We're staying.", "Lenny: Not for long! Buffy moves first off to her left. Angel reacts instantly and moves off to his right. Buffy throws her shopping bag at one vampire, catching him off guard, and does a front snap kick to his gut. He falls immediately. Another vampire rushes her, and she does a full spinning wheel kick to his face. A vampire swings at Angel, but he ducks it and punches him in the gut. Angel turns around and backhand punches another vampire in the face followed up with an elbow to his gut. A vampire front snap kicks Spike in the chest, sending him flying onto the hood of the car and landing hard on his back. Another vampire enters the fray wielding a length of pipe. He swings it down at Spike, but Spike rolls out of the way and onto his hands and feet, and hops up onto the roof of the car. A vampire gets a firm hold of Angel's sleeve and twists it around, forcing him to do a log roll to the ground. He uses his momentum to roll back up to a standing position. Another vampire lunges at Angel, but he grabs him and lifts him into the air, sending him head first into a nearby garbage can. Another vampire runs at Angel from behind, but he crouches down and sweep kicks him in the legs, making him trip and flip over into a diving shoulder roll. Another vamp joins Spike on the roof of the car, but Spike just punches him dead in the face, and he flies backward onto the hood and windshield of the car. A second vampire jumps onto the car and tries to get at Spike. A vampire tries to slam Buffy into a low wall, but she uses her momentum and his leverage to jump sideways over the wall into the outdoor table area of the Espresso Pump. She lands on a table on her back, rolls off and comes up in a standing position. A vampire inside the cafe' rushes her, and she does a full spinning hook kick, which connects with his stomach. A vampire swings at Spike, who is still on top of the car, but misses as Spike redirects the hit, pushes down on his shoulder and kicks him in the rear, causing him to fall onto the trunk of the car and slide off the back. Buffy side kicks a vampire in the neck, and he flies backwards into some chairs. A vampire comes straight for Spike. He sidesteps him and sticks his arm straight out, which the vampire runs right into, causing him to flip underneath the arm, land on the hood of the car and roll off. A vampire swings at Angel with a pipe, but misses. On the next swing, Angel grabs hold of the pipe and twists it around, wresting it from the vampire's grip and knocking him out cold. Angel spins halfway around and slams the end of the pipe into another vampire's crotch. The force of the blow lifts him from the ground. Angel drops the pipe and punches the vampire in the face, sending him spinning to the pavement. A vampire jumps over a chain into the cafe'. Buffy sees him coming, grabs a round metal table and swings it at him, smacking him hard in the face and knocking him to the floor. Buffy looks around for a weapon and spies a mop by the wall. She stomps on the base, breaking the mop head off and leaving her with a long wooden pole. As a vampire attacks again, she swings the pole at his stomach, and he falls to the floor. As the other one tries to get up again, Buffy slams the pole down onto his face, sending him back to the floor also. Spike has a vampire by both arms and twists him around, making him fall in a spin onto the roof of the car and then roll off onto the sidewalk. Behind him another vampire jumps up onto the hood of the car with a length of pipe. Buffy swings her pole at a vampire and gets him in the stomach. Spinning around to face another one, she slams the pole into his head and roundhouse kicks him in the side, sending him stumbling into a wall. A third vampire jumps in and tries to front snap kick her. His kick is too weak and she's able to block it with her pole. Then she thrusts it up into his neck and throws him to the wall as well. He lands against the other vampire, and Buffy shoves her makeshift stake through both of them. She lets go of the pole and runs out of the cafe' as they simultaneously explode into ashes. Angel has a firm grip on a vampire's collar and punches him hard in the face, sending him spinning wildly to the ground. They all notice that they are temporarily without opponents, and so regroup in front of the magic shop, but it doesn't take long for several members of the gang to surround them. Buffy makes a break for the shop's door while Angel and Spike slowly back in that direction as well. At the last instant they also run into the shop and slam the door closed as the gang of vampires gives chase. Once inside, Buffy heads behind the counter to see what she can find for a weapon. Spike and Angel grab one of the bookcases and slide it over against the front window. Behind the counter Buffy smashes the shopkeeper's chair, and picks up the legs to use as stakes. She comes back out from behind the counter and yells for the others to join her.", "Buffy: Go! She hands them each a chair leg, and the three of them make their stand, just waiting for the already teetering bookcase to give and the gang to storm into the shop.", "Spike: This should be a kick.", "Buffy: I violently dislike you. Suddenly the back door is kicked in, and a vampire comes in. Angel turns and attacks. The vampire lunges at him, but Angel ducks and gets underneath him, lifting him and sending him flying over his head and onto a table arrayed with books and candles. Two more vampires rush in and make their way toward Buffy. Angel slams the back door closed, and leans against it. Buffy push kicks the rolling ladder used to reach the upper shelves, and it smashes into the two vampires coming at her, knocking them to the floor. The first vampire is off of the table and tackles Spike into a wall of shelves filled with jars. Several of them break and Spike and the jars go crashing to the floor. Angel struggles to keep the door closed. One of the vampires who came after Buffy swings at her, but he misses as she steps behind the sliding ladder. He punches again, this time through the rungs, but she sidesteps it.", "Cut to the factory. Xander slowly climbs down into the hole to be with Cordelia.", "Willow: Be careful.", "Xander: Yeah.", "Willow: Don't move, Cordy! Oz went to get help! Xander gets through and drops himself down to the concrete below.", "Cut to the magic shop. Buffy grabs the arm that the vampire punched through the rungs of the ladder and holds onto it as she swings her stake home. She pulls it back out and lets go, and he bursts into ashes. She then turns her attention to her other attacker and roundhouse kicks him in the face as he's trying to get up. She grabs him by the shirt and shoves his head into a display case, breaking the glass, then yanks him up through the glass top as well. She pulls the dazed vampire around and shoves his head between the rungs of the ladder and push kicks it away. The back door is beginning to give, and so is the bookcase at the front window.", "Buffy: (to Angel) We need to get out of here!", "Angel: Can we get to the roof? Buffy scans the ceiling for a possible way out. Just then the back door finally gives. Angel is knocked to the floor, and the heavy door falls on top of him. Lenny steps on top of it, scans the room quickly and heads straight for Spike. Behind him another vampire runs in, and Buffy rushes to engage him. She roundhouse kicks him in the face and tries to follow up with a backhand punch. He blocks the hit and wraps his arm around hers and yanks her arm downward. She yanks back up and pulls her arm free, and punches him twice in the face. Angel lies dazed under the door. Lenny reaches Spike and immediately punches him hard in the face, making him jerk aside but not fall.", "Lenny: Yeah. I heard you'd gone soft. Sad to see it, man.", "Spike: (incredulous) Soft?", "Lenny: Yeah, like baby food. Behind Spike the vampire he'd been fighting gets up.", "Spike: (smiling) Well, then, let's give baby a taste. He does a back kick hitting the vampire behind him in the groin. Lenny tries to punch, but Spike ducks and punches him instead. Spike spins around and backhand punches the vampire behind him in the face, who falls immediately. He ducks another punch from Lenny, grabs onto his jacket, pulls him around roughly and smashes his face into the table. Buffy punches her vampire in the gut and high punches him in the face. While he's stunned, she grabs onto his head and yanks it around and down to her left side, flipping him over onto his back. She runs over to Angel, pushes the heavy door off of him and helps him up.", "Angel: I'm alright.", "Buffy: You're not up to your full strength yet. He sees the bookcase at the front window shake violently.", "Angel: That window's about to go. He spies what may be the answer.", "Angel: Buffy. On a shelf they see several dozen small bottles of Holy Water.", "Cut to Spike repeatedly smashing Lenny's head onto the table.", "Spike: Baby like his supper? Baby like his supper? He lifts Lenny and flips him over onto the table on his back.", "Spike: Why doesn't baby have a nap? He raises his stake high and plunges it violently into Lenny's chest. Lenny looks stunned as he bursts into ashes. Spike smiles with the thrill of the kill. Behind him Buffy yells out a warning.", "Buffy: Spike! Get down! He ducks to the floor as the bookcase at the front finally gives way and falls with a crash, along with plenty of broken window glass. Spike looks up to see the vampires storm the shop. They quickly realize their peril as Buffy and Angel begin throwing the bottles of Holy Water at them like grenades. They break when they hit, spraying the vampires and burning them. Spike catches some wayward drops and quickly pulls his coat over his face and stays down. The burning Holy Water soon has the attacking vampires making a hasty, screaming retreat. Spike stands back up and watches them run, letting out a breath of satisfaction.", "Spike: Now, that was fun. He faces Buffy and Angel only to get disbelieving looks.", "Spike: (smiling) Oh, don't *tell* me that wasn't fun. (chuckles) Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. (stops and considers) Really puts things in perspective. Angel bends over in pain and weakness, and Buffy moves to gently support him.", "Spike: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there.", "Buffy: Could we just do the damn spell now?", "Spike: Oh, sod the spell. (waves it off) Your friends are at the factory. Buffy and Angel can't believe their gullibility.", "Spike: (smiling) I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, (stands proud) the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. He walks past them toward the back door. Just before he goes out he turns back.", "Spike: (smiles thoughtfully) Love's a funny thing. He heads out the back.", "Cut to the factory. Cordelia moans as Xander gets down next to her.", "Xander: (very worried) Cordy... Please hold on. (strokes her hair)", "Cordelia: (weakly) Xander? (looks blankly) I can't see you... Her head rolls to the side and she exhales. Xander thinks her lost.", "Xander: Cordy! From above Willow sees Cordelia's body just lie seemingly lifeless.", "Cut to a cemetery. A funeral is being held, attended by about twenty- five people dressed in black. The camera pans down from above as the priest reads from his book.", "Priest: He created all things in order that they might exist. And the generative forces of this world are wholesome, and there is no destructive poison in them. For the dominion of Hades is not on Earth, for righteousness is immortal. The camera reaches the ground and focuses on Buffy and Willow walking along a street.", "Buffy: So Cordelia's gonna be okay?", "Willow: She lost a lot of blood. None of her vitals were punctured.", "Buffy: Has she talked to Xander yet?", "Willow: She wasn't allowed to have visitors at first. He's gonna see her today.", "Buffy: And Oz?", "Willow: I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad. For the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted everything. And now... I just... I just want him to talk to me again.", "Buffy: Just give it some time. And be prepared for some groveling.", "Willow: Oh, I'm ready. I'm all *over* groveling.", "Buffy: Good. Because, you know, I hear sometimes it works.", "Cut to Cordelia's hospital room. She is lying awake in bed, her head facing away from the door. Xander arrives holding a huge bouquet of flowers and knocks on the door.", "Xander: Can I come in? He gets no response, so he just comes in.", "Xander: They wouldn't let me see you until now. He lays the bouquet on the table where she can see them.", "Xander: Those are flowers. He sits in the chair next to her bed. She slowly turns her head to face him.", "Xander: Look, Cordy, I want you to know that I...", "Cordelia: (weakly) Xander?", "Xander: (hopefully) Yeah.", "Cordelia: Stay away from me. She turns her head back. Xander looks down at his lap, then gets up to go. At the door he looks back one final time, before heading down the hall. When he's gone, she begins to cry.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He sits in the atrium waiting for Buffy to come visit. When he hears her footsteps he turns to see her step through the makeshift door and stop just inside the atrium.", "Angel: Hey. (stands up) I was wondering when you were coming.", "Buffy: I'm not coming back. Angel just looks at her.", "Buffy: We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. (shakes her head) Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.", "Angel: I don't accept that.", "Buffy: You have to.", "Angel: How can... He takes a step toward her, and she backs away.", "Angel: There's gotta be some way we can still see each other.", "Buffy: There is: tell me that you don't love me. Knowing that saying those words would be a lie, Angel instead says nothing. After a long moment, Buffy turns and goes back into the mansion and leaves. Angel sits down on the edge of one of the flower beds, staring sadly out into space.", "Cut to Willow's room. She sits on the floor against her bed, her knees drawn up to her chest and her toes pointed inward, staring at her PEZ witch as she idly plays with it.", "Cut to the Bronze. Oz sits on one of the pool tables, his guitar in hand, but unable to play as he, too, stares sadly off into space.", "Cut to the library. Xander tries to make himself useful reshelving books. He takes an armful of them into the cage and sorts them onto the reshelving cart. He stops for a moment, leans against the cart and stares out into the room beyond the cage.", "Cut to Cordelia's hospital room. She lies still in her bed with her right hand against her temple, stroking herself there as she stares blankly at the ceiling.", "Cut to the quad at school. Buffy sits alone at a bench, looking sadly down at the ground as other students pass by.", "Cut to a highway out of town. Spike's car races by with Gary Oldman's version of \"My Way\" blaring on the radio. Cut inside. Spike rocks along and screams the lyrics as he smokes and defies the daylight, driving with only his blackened windows to protect him.", "Spike: I plan each charted course / Each little step along the highway / And more, much more than this Cut outside. The car speeds along the nearly empty highway.", "Spike: I did it my way" ]

[ "Cordelia's pain over Xander's betrayal summons Anyanka ( Emma Caulfield ), a vengeance demon who grants wishes to scorned women. Cordelia wishes that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale, and constructs an alternate reality where the Master ( Mark Metcalf ) rose from the dead and the Harvest took over Sunnydale. Giles discovers this in the alternate reality and realizes he is able to reverse the events." ]

[ "Prologue: A large park. The camera pans along some flowery foliage until it reaches a pair of green scaly legs firmly planted to the ground and a pair of human legs dangling and kicking from someone pinned high against a tree. The monster makes gurgling noises and low-pitched roars. Cut to Buffy being held against the tree by her neck. The monster's face has tentacles coming off of the back of his head as well as the front in place of lips. His teeth are placed vertically between the two center tentacles. His scaly green skin glistens with slime.", "Buffy: (yells out desperately) Nnnrrf! Nnnrrf! Near a picnic table Xander is just coming to, apparently having been knocked around by the monster as well. At the table Willow frantically searches through their bag of demon-killing implements.", "Willow: Oh, God! Demon! Demon! What kills a demon?! Buffy struggles with the monster's hand at her neck, but can't get it to budge and has a hard time breathing.", "Buffy: Nnnrrf! Nnnrrf!", "Willow: (still searching) Oh, Nerf! Not Nerf. Knife! She finds a knife and runs with it to Buffy's aid. She tosses the knife to Buffy, who blindly grabs it from behind out of mid-air and stabs the monster in the chest. The monster immediately falls over dead, taking Buffy down with it. Willow and Xander help her up.", "Buffy: Okay. That was too close for comfort. Not that slaying is ever comfy, but... you know what I mean? (takes a deep breath) If you guys hadn't been here to help...", "Willow: But, we were, and we did, and, and we're all fine. (looks down at the monster) Isn't he gonna go poof?", "Buffy: Mm, I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. Uhhf... They walk over to the picnic table.", "Buffy: Makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss. Buffy sits cross-legged on one end of the table, Xander sits on the other and Willow sits on the bench below and between them and grabs a drink.", "Xander: So how come Faith was a no-show? I thought mucus-y demons were her favorites. (munches on a snack)", "Buffy: Couldn't reach her... again. She hasn't been hanging out much.", "(reaches for a snack)", "Xander: I detect worry.", "Buffy: A little bit. Slaying's a rough gig. Too much alone time isn't healthy. Stuff gets pent up. (munches the snack)", "Willow: We should try to do more socializing with her.", "Xander: Well, burial detail aside, does this cap us off for the day?", "Buffy: You got plans?", "Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I *don't* have plans.", "Buffy: No luck reaching Cordelia?", "Xander: I've left a few messages. Sixty... Seventy... But you know what really bugs me? (to Willow) Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I", "know that was positively the last time we were *ever* gonna kiss.", "Willow: Darn tootin'!", "Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really *all* their fault.", "Buffy: Your logic does *not* resemble our Earth logic.", "Xander: Mine is much more advanced.", "Willow: At least tomorrow's Monday, another school day.", "Buffy: Well, that's good. You know, focus on school. That's the strong Willow way to heal.", "Willow: Actually, I was more thinking Oz will be there, and I can beg for forgiveness.", "Buffy: That works, too.", "Willow: I-I wanna be strong Willow. But then I think I may never get to be close to Oz again, and it's like all the air just goes out of the room.", "Buffy: I know the feeling.", "Xander: Right. I mean, you went through it with Angel, and you're still standing. So tell us, Wise One, how do you deal?", "Buffy: I have you guys.", "Cut to Cordelia's bedroom. She's sitting on her bed with the lights very low. She has a picture of herself, Xander, Willow and Buffy all with their arms around each other, and is cutting each person off with a straight vertical cut. She lets the pieces fall into a bowl on a breakfast tray. In the background her answering machine plays back her messages.", "Machine: Hey, it's Xander. If you get this, call me. The last part of the picture left in her hand is of Xander, and she cuts diagonally right through his face.", "Machine: Hi! Xander. I, uh... Well, I'm in if you feel like calling. Bye. Cordelia's eyes and cheeks are heavy with tears. She sighs, takes a match and strikes it. She lights Xander's part of the picture.", "Machine: Hi, Cordelia. Um... If you get the chance, if we could talk, I'm here. She drops the lit piece into the bowl and holds the match to the others. They suddenly all burst into flame. The light of the flame shows just how tired, slagged and haggard Cordelia has become.", "Machine: Hey again! It's me. I'm here. Again. She watches as the flames consume the image of Xander. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The halls at Sunnydale High School. Willow waits around the corner from Oz's locker, peeking around every few seconds to see if he's arrived, looking very worried. Buffy comes up behind her.", "Buffy: How's it goin'?", "Willow: Oz hasn't been to his locker. There may be books in there that he needs, but still, he doesn't come. (looks at the locker)", "Buffy: Has Xander seen Cordelia?", "Willow: I don't think so. But she is coming in today. Amy saw her last night at the mall. (looks at the locker)", "Buffy: How was she?", "Willow: I don't know. Amy said she looked pretty... scary.", "Cut to the student parking lot. Cordelia has the top down on her convertible. She steps out looking very hot in a brown leather skirt and jacket with matching top, and alligator high heel d'Orsay pumps with matching bag from Prada. She confidently walks into school.", "Cut to the breezeway leading to the quad. She walks through, not looking quite as confident anymore since the other students are just passing her by. She stops when she sees Harmony coming her way with some of her friends. When Harmony sees Cordelia, she stops, too, for an instant, but then approaches her, all smiles.", "Harmony: Cordelia! You look amazing. Cordelia, confidence restored, exchanges a non-touching hug and kisses on both cheeks.", "Harmony: Oh. You have to meet Anya. (pulls her to the front) She just moved here, and her dad just bought -- what was it -- oh. A utility. Or something.", "Anya: (to Cordelia) Nice bag. Prada?", "Cordelia: Good call! Most people around here can't tell Prada from Payless.", "Harmony: God, Cordy, when I heard about... Well, I mean, I couldn't believe it. But it was smart. You know, the injury thing? You take a week off, let everybody forget about the temporary insanity that was Xander Harris.", "Cordelia: (raises her eyebrows) Xander who?", "Harmony: Oh! They all exchange a little fake nervous laughter.", "Cordette: You know what you have to do. Start dating. Get back on the horse.", "Cordelia: Oh, absolutely! I am ready to ride!", "Harmony: Then I have just the stallion. He's *so* you. She leads her over to the outside stairs where Jonathon is sitting, nursing a soft drink. He is taken aback by the sudden attention, and looks around to see if they didn't really mean someone else, but there is no one else. Cordelia realizes she's been had.", "Harmony: (giggles) I'm pretty sure he won't cheat on you. At least not for a while. Plus, he's got a kill moped. She laughs, and she and her group walk off. Jonathon gives her a sympathetic look, knowing what it's like, and goes back to nursing his soda.", "Cut to the halls. Oz finally shows up at his locker. As he works his combination, Willow comes around the corner and pretends it's a chance meeting.", "Willow: Oz! Wow. He stops opening his locker and slowly turns to face her.", "Willow: Look at us, running into each other, as two people who go to the same school are so likely to do now and then.", "Oz: Hey. (starts to leave)", "Willow: (stops him) Oz, wait. Please? He stops and reluctantly gives her his attention.", "Willow: What I did... When I think that I hurt you...", "Oz: Yeah. You said all this stuff already.", "Willow: Right, but... I wanna make it up to you. I mean, if you let me, I wanna try.", "Oz: Just... You can leave me alone. I need to figure things out.", "Willow: But maybe if we talk about it, we could...", "Oz: Look... I'm sorry this is hard for you. But I told you what I need. So I can't help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can feel better about yourself. That's not my problem. Willow is left feeling completely helpless. Oz goes on his way leaving her standing there.", "Cut to the stairs by the student lounge. Cordelia walks down and turns down the hall. She sees Xander come out of the cafeteria at the far end. When he spots her he stops. Cordelia looks for a way to turn this to her advantage, and pulls an old boyfriend out of the crowd.", "Cordelia: Hey, John Lee. Do I have something caught in my teeth? She smiles to expose her teeth and angles her head up so he can see. She shifts her head back and forth, and John Lee dutifully follows her movements. From a distance it looks to Xander like they are kissing. When he's seen enough, he goes back into the cafeteria. When Cordelia sees that he's gone, she steps back from John Lee.", "Cordelia: So... What's new? God, it's been, like, a gazillion years!", "John Lee: (smiles) Look, the guys are kinda down on me lately. Coach has cut me back to second string. If anyone saw me hanging with Xander Harris' castoff on top of that... Death, you know, but... maybe... (makes suggestive eyes) If you wanna go someplace private...", "Cordelia: (surprised to find the tables turned) What?", "John Lee: Think about it. (leaves) Cordelia can't believe what a social leper she's suddenly become. She starts back down the hall, and is startled when Anya bumps into her.", "Anya: (smiles) Hey.", "Cordelia: Go ahead. Dazzle me with your oh-so-brilliant insults. Just join the club.", "Anya: Hardly. Uh, actually, I've been looking for you. Ever since we met this morning, I was, like, thank God there's one other person in this town who actually reads W.", "Cordelia: But Harmony...", "Anya: Oh, she follows me around. If that girl had an original thought, her head would explode.", "Cordelia: (notices Anya's pendant) Is that Gucci?", "Anya: Um... no. It's an actual old thing, sort of a, um... good luck charm my dad gave me.", "Cordelia: Too bad I didn't have one of those pre-Xander. They start down the hall.", "Anya: Can I just say... Men.", "Cordelia: Second it.", "Anya: Apart from being without class, the guy's obviously blind. Deserves whatever he gets.", "Cordelia: I'm not even thinking about him. I am past it. I am living my life.", "Anya: Still, I mean... Don't you kinda wish...", "Cordelia: I don't wish. I act. Starting now, Xander Harris is gonna get a bellyful of just how over him I am.", "Cut to the Bronze that night. \"Tired of Being Alone\", by The Spies, plays in the background. Cordelia is at the bar, dressed sexily in red, pretending to have great conversation with a guy. Behind her sitting on the couch beneath the stairs, Willow and Buffy look glum, while Xander pretends to be having fun, forcing himself to laugh. He looks back at Cordelia, who seems to be enjoying her conversation. Xander looks back at Willow and Buffy and forces out gales of laughter. Willow and Buffy exchange a look, then Buffy gives Xander a creepy look.", "Xander: Excuse me. I need to be both giving *and* receiving of mirth. Is it too much to ask for a little backup?", "Buffy: (puts her hand on his knee) I'm here for you, Xand. I'm Support- O-Gal. (takes her hand back) I just... feel a little weird about this us-against-Cordelia thing. She's had a rough time. At the bar Cordelia is still enjoying herself.", "Willow: It's true. Cordelia *belongs* to the justified camp. She *should* make us pay. And pay and pay and pay... In fact, there's just not enough pay for what we...", "Xander: (interrupts) Look, you want to do guilt-a-palooza, fine, but I'm done with that. Starting this minute, I'm gonna grab ahold of that crazy little thing called life and let it do its magical little heal-y thing. What's done is done. Let's be in the moment. Behold the beauty that is now. (bounces his eyebrows) Who's with me?", "Buffy: He's actually making sense. We're young and free in America. How dare we be spun by love or the lack of same?", "Willow: Absolutely. I-it's self-indulgent. I-I'm in. I'm on the joy train. (smiles) They all put on bright smiles and radiate them into the Bronze. Slowly their luster fades, and they all end up looking glum again.", "Buffy: That didn't work. Who wants chocolate? Willow and Xander both raise their hands.", "Buffy: I'm up. She gets up and heads for the cappuccino bar.", "Xander: Look at her. (indicates Cordelia) Tears of a clown, baby. Or is it... grins of a sad person? (reaches over to Willow in his old familiar way) Or maybe it's...", "Willow: Xander, your hand.", "Xander: (jerks back his hand) Oops! Sorry. But why 'oops'? I mean, we always touch digits. It's a friend thing. Comfort. Like chocolate.", "Willow: (shrugs) Maybe it used to be, but since we... It's different. (Xander looks away) I-I'm sorry. But if I wanna make things right with Oz, my hands, (Xander looks back) my -- all my stuff -- has to be for him only. Xander understands, but he sure isn't happy about it.", "Cut to the cappuccino bar. While waiting in line, Buffy notices Cordelia talk briefly with Anya and say goodbye. As she goes a boy bumps into her, jostling her wound. She puts her hand over it as she walks out. Buffy decides to follow. Cut outside. Buffy catches up with her.", "Buffy: Hey, Cordelia, wait a second.", "Cordelia: (stops and faces her) Did Xander send you to beg for him? Because if he did...", "Buffy: No. I'm a free agent, I promise. I just wanted to see how you are.", "Cordelia: Never been better. (starts to go)", "Buffy: (follows) Cordelia, I know what it's like to be hurt by someone. (Cordelia faces her) Hurt so much that you don't think you're gonna make it. But I told my friends how I felt, and you know what? It got a little better. Suddenly a vampire jumps down behind Buffy and swings at her head, but she middle blocks it and punches him in the face, which sends him to the pavement on his side. Buffy punches him in the face while he's down, reaches for his shirt and yanks him back up to his feet. She spins him around and lets go of his shirt. He staggers backward a couple of steps, but keeps his footing. He advances and does two roundhouse kicks, which Buffy low blocks. He tries a wide punch to Buffy's head, but she ducks it and rises back up to deliver a roundhouse kick to his side. This sends him stumbling backward right at Cordelia.", "Buffy: Cordelia, look... Cordelia has no time to react, and gets knocked into a pile of garbage.", "Buffy: ...out. The vampire gets back up to his feet and comes at Buffy, jumping into a half spinning crescent kick, which Buffy easily ducks. She grabs him when he comes at her again and knees him in the stomach, then flips him over onto his back. She pulls out her stake and jams it home. The vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy turns her attention back to Cordelia, who flicks a few pieces of trash from her dress and slowly climbs out of the garbage heap. Buffy looks at her apologetically. Behind her she hears the laughter of a group of girls, so she quickly tosses aside her stake. Harmony and some of her friends walk by, look Cordelia over and keep laughing as they go. After they've gone, Cordelia vents on Buffy.", "Cordelia: You know what I've been asking myself a *lot* this last week? Why me? Why do *I* get impaled? Why do *I* get bitten by snakes? Why do *I* fall for incredible losers? And you know, I think I've finally figured it out, what my problem is? It's...", "Cut to the quad at school the next day. Cordelia and Anya walk together.", "Cordelia: ...Buffy Summers. That's when all my troubles started. (winces in pain and holds her side) When she moved here.", "Anya: Are you okay?", "Cordelia: Oh, I just pulled some stitches last night. Know why? (looks in Buffy's direction) Surprise. It was Buffy's fault. Anya follows Cordelia's gaze and sees Buffy and company sitting on a bench. Harmony interrupts Cordelia and Anya.", "Harmony: Oh, hey, it's Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor. Dumpster chic for the dumped. She and her troop rudely walk right between Cordelia and Anya, giggling and smiling. Cordelia looks down in embarrassment. Anya takes her pendant off.", "Anya: Here. I think you need this more than I do right now. Cordelia lifts her hair away from her neck and lets Anya put it on.", "Cordelia: Yeah, I can use some luck. (eyes Buffy) And a stick with pointy, sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn't... I swear. She's a pain.", "Anya: But Xander, he's an utter loser. Don't you wish...", "Cordelia: I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging with him.", "Anya: Really? (looks over at Buffy)", "Cordelia: Yeah, I swear! I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. Anya turns back to Cordelia, who gasps to see that her face has suddenly become very wrinkled and raw-looking, the embodiment of Anyanka, Patron Saint of all women scorned.", "Anyanka: Done. The picture fades to white. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The picture fades from white back to the quad at Sunnydale High. Cordelia looks around her. Anya is gone. Buffy, Willow and Xander are not sitting at the bench anymore. There are far fewer students in general. The place is, in fact, rather a mess. Garbage and palm leaves are strewn about the quad.", "Cordelia: Anya? Suddenly she notices that she no longer has her injury. Anya's pendant, however, is still around her neck. Slowly she begins to figure it out.", "Cordelia: 'I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.' (smiles) She was, like... a good fairy. A scary, veiny... good fairy. (smiles widely) She laughs as she heads into the halls. Cut into the halls. Just like outside, there are far fewer students inside. Everyone is dressed in dark and drab clothing. Cordelia is the standout in her bright turquoise dress. She sees Harmony and her friends at her locker, and hesitates. Harmony closes her locker and sees her.", "Harmony: Where have you been?! She approaches Cordelia, and her friends follow. Cordelia gives them a careful smile.", "Harmony: Ted Chervin just totally went for third with Ginger in front of everybody.", "Cordette: (to Cordelia) Love the dress. It's so daring. Harmony nods in agreement. John Lee walks up to them.", "John Lee: Cordelia.", "Cordelia: Yeah?", "John Lee: (pulls her aside) Look, every guy on campus has probably asked, but if you're not going to the Winter Brunch with anyone, I'd be honored, and we'd have fun.", "Cordelia: (considers her response) I'll get back to you.", "John Lee: Really?", "Cordelia: Yeah. (smiles)", "John Lee: Great! He heads down the hall, a happy man. Harmony steps over to her.", "Harmony: Cordy, you reign!", "Cordelia: I do? I mean, I do. So what's with the Winter Brunch thing?", "Cut to class. It is less than half full, but even so most of the students sit toward the back. The bell rings. The teacher hurriedly gathers his things.", "Teacher: Alright. Now, don't forget, tomorrow we have our, uh, monthly memorial, so, uh, there's no class. He rushes out of the room. The students also make a point of getting out of there quickly.", "Cordelia: What's the rush?", "Harmony: Oh, you know, my mom hates it when I'm late.", "Cordelia: Since when? Aren't we going out tonight? (gets up)", "Cordette: Curfew starts in an hour.", "Cordelia: Curfew? Come on, I'm in a really good mood! Let's go to the Bronze! Harmony and her friends all stop and give Cordelia a disbelieving look.", "Harmony: Is that a joke?", "Cordelia: Oh! The Bronze isn't cool in this reality. I've gotta make these little adjustments. (smiles) Harmony and Cordette exchange a look.", "Harmony: Cordy, what's with you? (the others leave) I mean, you wear this come-bite-me outfit, you make jokes about the Bronze, and you're acting a little schizo.", "Cordelia: You're right. I just... Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff. Not that I care, but Xander Harris, he's miserable, right? And that Willow freak he hangs with, not even a blip on the radar screen, right? (smiles)", "Harmony: (confused) Well, yeah. They're dead. Cordelia's smile fades, not at all sure how she feels about that. Harmony rolls her eyes and leaves the room.", "Cut to what Cordelia thinks is the student parking lot. The lot is completely empty and full of fallen leaves.", "Cordelia: Okay. Not funny. (stops a passing janitor) Hey! You! Where did you put my car?", "Janitor: Pardon?", "Cordelia: My auto! El convertablo?", "Janitor: You students aren't allowed to drive, and you know it.", "Cordelia: What?!", "Janitor: Go on now, Miss. You better get in before the sun sets. The janitor hurries off. Cordelia is now very confused. She starts on her way home.", "Cut to a street in town. The Sun Cinema is closed. The last shop pulls a metal gate across its storefront. The street is dirty. A smashed car just sits in the middle of it. In the distance Cordelia can hear sirens and screams as she walks along. Suddenly Xander appears in front of her, wearing only a white T-Shirt and black leather jacket and pants. She startles and stops short.", "Xander: Well, whadaya know? Cordelia Chase.", "Cordelia: What is this? Some kind of sick joke? Harmony told me you were dead.", "Xander: (plays her game) Now, why would she say something like that? Let's think.", "Cordelia: Listen to me. We have to find Buffy. She'll figure out a way to save us. She was supposed to be here, and as much as it kills me to admit it... things were better when she was around.", "Xander: Buffy? The Slayer?", "Cordelia: No! Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?", "Willow: Bored now. She slowly walks up to them. She is also dressed in black leather. The bodice of her outfit is trimmed in red lace.", "Willow: This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming.", "Cordelia: What's up with you two and the leather?", "Willow: (to Xander) Play now?", "Xander: It's not that I don't appreciate your appetite, Will, but I thought we agreed it was my turn. Willow whines and brushes her hand against Xander's chest.", "Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are still together?! I cannot win!", "Xander: Probably not. (vamps out) But I'll give you a head start.", "Cordelia: (gasps) No! She drops her bag and begins to run.", "Willow: I love this part. They kiss passionately with lots of tongue. Then Xander turns his attention to the chase.", "Xander: You love all the parts. Willow follows at a walk as Xander runs after Cordelia. He jumps up, runs over the smashed car and jumps down behind her, grabs her by the neck and throws her down to the street. She rolls to a stop, unconscious.", "Willow: No fun. She didn't even hardly fight. Suddenly a van comes screeching around the corner.", "Xander: Aw, swell. It's the White Hats. The van screeches to a stop next to Cordelia, and Giles jumps out with a large cross in hand to ward them off. They have to back away. At the driver's seat Oz has the crossbow trained on them. Larry and Nancy jump out of the sliding door, he with a stake held ready, she with another cross.", "Giles: I've got them! Get the girl! Larry and Nancy pick Cordelia up and carry her into the van. Xander and Willow growl angrily as they watch their prize being stolen from them. When Larry and Nancy have Cordelia safely inside, Giles hops back in, they slam the doors shut and take off.", "Cut to the library. Cordelia is laid out on the large center table.", "Oz: How's she doing?", "Giles: Her pulse is strong.", "Nancy: What was she doing wearing that? Everyone knows that vampires are attracted to bright colors.", "Larry: That's Cordelia. It's better to look good than to feel alive.", "Giles: Uh, go and, uh, watch the perimeters in case they follow.", "Cut to the Bronze. \"Dedicated to Pain\", by Plastic, blares loudly as Xander and Willow approach the club. A couple of the vampires standing outside feast on fresh victims caught out after dark. The two of them go into the club and check out the happenings inside. There are several cages containing terrified humans suspended a few feet from the floor. Willow reaches in to one and strokes his cheek. They head toward the back of the club, past the pool tables where a vampire has a wayward biker tied to all four corners. Xander runs his hand across the man's chest.", "Xander: (to the vampire) Slap my hand, dead soul man. They shake hands, and Xander and Willow continue into the back. A guard vampire holds the curtain aside for them to enter. When he sees them come in, the Master rises from his throne. His two favored vampires come to stand before him.", "Master: Ahh. Xander... Willow... Hungry? He grabs a girl by the hair and lifts her by it. The girl remains silent with fear, but keeps her eyes fixed on the Master.", "Master: (disgustedly) I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat, and she *looks* at me. He notices Willow's desire for a kill, and turns the girl's head toward her.", "Master: Go on! Willow smiles up at Xander, who gives her a look of approval. She turns back to the Master and vamps out. The Master shoves the girl over to her. She catches her in her arms with her head laid back and bites her hard. Xander, as always, is impressed with her zest for a fresh drink.", "Master: I remember that lust for the kill. (sits back down on his throne) Now... What news on the Rialto?", "Xander: Had a prime kill. An old crush, actually, till that wannaslay librarian showed up.", "Master: He'll be dealt with soon enough. Willow comes back to Xander's side, licking her fingers.", "Xander: Weird thing: girl kept talking about Buffy. 'Gotta get Buffy here.' Isn't that what they called the Slayer?", "Willow: (strokes his chest) Hmm. Buffy. Ooo. Scary.", "Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.", "Master: (stands up) She talked of summoning the Slayer here, now, at this time, and you didn't kill her?", "Willow: Well, they had crosses.", "Master: The plant begins operation in less than twenty-four hours. (steps up to them) You will find this girl. (strokes their cheeks) You will kill her before she contacts the Slayer. Or I'll see you two kissing daylight.", "Cut to the library. Cordelia groans as she regains consciousness. Giles comes rushing down to her from the stacks and tries to keep her from getting up too fast.", "Giles: Hey! Hey...", "Cordelia: (frantic) Giles! It's all my fault! I wasn't... I made this *stupid* wish...", "Giles: Come on. Please lie...", "Cordelia: No! You have to get Buffy. Buffy changes it. (Giles lets go of her) It wasn't like this. It was better. I mean, the clothes alone... (Giles takes off his glasses) But people were happy. Mostly. And... Wait. (slides off of the table) Why are you here and she's not? I mean, y-you were her Watcher. Giles is amazed by what he's hearing.", "Giles: H-how do you know I was a Watcher? I've never... They hear a series of thumps and taps outside.", "Cordelia: What? Giles looks around carefully and puts his glasses back on.", "Cordelia: What?", "Giles: I thought I heard something. He goes into the cage and grabs a large cross and a stake from the weapons cabinet.", "Giles: Now, I want you to start again and explain everything very carefully. Before he can come out, he finds the cage door slammed shut on him.", "Willow: You're in a big cage. She taunts him with the key. Xander has Cordelia pinned against him with his hand over her mouth. Willow looks over at him.", "Xander: Not too bright, Book Guy. Willow turns back to Giles, who slams the cross against the cage, forcing Willow back. She growls angrily. Xander forces Cordelia closer.", "Xander: So you're a Watcher, huh? (smiles widely) Watch this. He lets go of Cordelia's mouth and sinks his teeth into her neck. Giles rattles the cage hard in protest, helpless to do anything. Willow smiles at him, then turns around and bites Cordelia also on the other side of her neck. Together they suck her dry. Xander reaches his arm around Willow's head and caresses her hair. Giles rages in anger as he is forced to watch. In another moment Cordelia is dead, and Xander pushes her lifeless body aside, letting it fall to the floor. Xander starts out of the library. Willow gives Giles a smile and tosses the key at him as she also leaves. Giles pants heavily as he looks down at the body of the latest victim of these two vampires.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles swings at the cage door with a double-bladed battle- ax. It soon gives way and opens, and he rushes out to check on Cordelia. He feels for a pulse, but he's too late. Larry and Oz come running in through the stacks.", "Larry: They hit us right outside.", "Giles: Nancy?", "Oz: She's dead. Giles takes the news as well as can be expected.", "Giles: Um... Would you mind... Could you take her to the incinerator? I have some business to... Larry and Oz set themselves to their grim task. Oz goes around to get her legs, Larry grabs her by the shoulders. Just as they are about to go, Giles notices the pendant around her neck.", "Giles: Wait a moment. He takes it off, and the boys carry her body away.", "Cut to the Bronze. The Master takes a fresh hot demitasse of blood espresso from his machine and sips it. He blows on it and takes another sip. Behind him Xander and Willow report back from their mission. The Master turns to face them.", "Xander: The deed is done.", "Master: You killed the girl that sought the Slayer?", "Xander: It was too easy.", "Willow: I felt cheap.", "Master: Excellent. The opening will commence as scheduled. (takes another sip)", "Willow: (approaches) So, you're pleased?", "Master: Ecstatic.", "Willow: Then... can I play with the puppy?", "Master: Ooo. (smiles) Be my guest. Willow smiles as the Master hands her the keys.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He's on the phone with Buffy's Watcher.", "Giles: Yes, I understand, but it's imperative that I see her. Here. (listens) Well... when will you? (listens) Yeah, well, you are her Watcher. I'd expect her to at least check in to... (listens) Yes, I'm aware that there's a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland. (listens) It... Well, it happens, you know, that, that Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth. (listens) It, it is so! (listens) Well... Just... Just give her the message, if you ever see her again. (hangs up)", "Cut to an external view of Sunnydale by day. The camera pans over the red Spanish roofs typical of most of town. In the distance there is a low haze over the ocean.", "Cut to the Bronze. Cut inside. Willow approaches what can only be described as a jail cell in the basement.", "Willow: Bored now. She walks over to the wall of whips, chains and other instruments of torture.", "Willow: Daytime's the worst. (runs her hand over the leather) Cooped up for hours. Can't hunt. She takes a pair of iron shears and clinks it along the bars of the cell.", "Willow: But the Master said I could play. Inside the figure begins to stir.", "Willow: Isn't that fun, Puppy? She unlocks the cell door and swings it in.", "Willow: Aw... Puppy's being all quiet. Come on. Don't be a spoilsport. The man groans as she straddles him. She grabs him by the hair and jerks his head up. It's Angel, and he moans from the rough treatment. He seems constantly short of breath.", "Willow: Guess what today is? She runs the tip of the shears along his chin and down his throat.", "Willow: Today the plant opens. It's a big party. She licks him from the base of his ear to his forehead and runs her sharp fingernails along his neck.", "Willow: You remember I told you about the plant? All those people you tried to save? It's gonna be quick for them. Not for you, though. It's gonna be slow for you. She flips him over onto his back and straddles his stomach. He lets out a painful moan.", "Willow: That's right, Puppy... Willow's gonna make you bark. (smiles) He cries out when she rips open his shirt to reveal several very deep and bloody wounds on his chest. When she touches them he flinches hard.", "Willow: Oh... Maybe I went too hard on you last time. Behind her Xander strikes a wooden kitchen match with his thumbnail and tosses it onto Angel's chest. Angel cries out in pain.", "Xander: Too hard? No such thing.", "Willow: Watch it with those things. You almost got my hair.", "Xander: Sorry. Got carried away. He tosses her the large box of matches.", "Willow: Don't you want to?", "Xander: No, thanks, baby. I just wanna watch you go. Willow smiles and turns her full attention on Angel. She lights another match, and the screen cuts to black. Angel screams in agony.", "Cut to the library. Giles is in his office while Oz tunes the crossbow and Larry carves stakes in the main area.", "Giles: Here it is! I've found it. (comes out of his office) Look. He sets down a book which is opened to a page with a sketch of Cordelia's pendant.", "Giles: It's what, um, Cordelia was wearing. It's the, the, uh, symbol of, of Anyanka.", "Oz: I don't think I know her.", "Giles: Well, no. Um, Anyanka is a, sort of a Patron Saint of scorned women. (sits on the table)", "Larry: What does she do?", "Giles: Uh, sh-she grants wishes.", "Oz: So Cordelia wished for something? Well, if it was a long, healthy life, she should get her money back.", "Giles: She said something about everything being different, that the... the world wasn't supposed to be like this. It was, um, better. Before.", "Larry: Okay. The entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? (gets looks from Giles and Oz) I just, I just want it clear.", "Giles: She said the, uh... the Slayer was supposed to be here, was, um, meant to have been here already.", "Oz: Certainly would've helped.", "Giles: Yes. I tried calling her, but, um... (stands up) Look, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna have to... research this Anyanka thing further. Um, I have some more... volumes at, at home. You two, two get some sleep. (goes)", "Oz: Watch your back.", "Cut to the street. Giles drives along in his ancient Citroen. As he drives by a park he sees a bunch of people being herded into a stepvan. He stops his car, grabs his large cross and rushes over to help. He holds the cross up to the two vampires, who are forced to back away, and yells to the people in the van.", "Giles: Run! When the people have all run away, he turns to run back to his car, but a third vampire slams the rear van door into his face, knocking him flat on his back. They try to grab him to load up, but the one at his feet suddenly finds himself flying through the air and landing hard on his back. The other two attack, but meet with similar fates. The first one runs at his attacker again, but gets staked. The attacker grabs another and stakes him. The others flee. Giles looks up at the person standing at his feet.", "Giles: Buffy Summers?", "Buffy: That's right. Wanna tell me what I'm doing here? ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' apartment. Buffy looks around, bored out of her mind. Giles is on the stairs looking through a book, and finally finds something.", "Giles: Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes! (glances at Buffy and stands up) Here. (reads) 'In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her powercenter. (walks down the steps) This should reverse all the wishes she's granted, rendering her mortal and powerless again.' You see? Without her powercenter, she'd j-just be a-a-an ordinary woman again, and all this would be, um... well, different. (gets no reaction) Well, I'd say that my, my Watcher muscles (closes the book) haven't completely atrophied after all. (takes off his glasses)", "Buffy: (unimpresssed) Great. What's her powercenter?", "Giles: Um, well, um, um... (glances at the book again) It doesn't say.", "Buffy: Why don't I just put a stake through her heart? (goes to his kitchen bar)", "Giles: She's not a vampire.", "Buffy: Mm, well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill.", "(sniffs a liqueur bottle)", "Giles: I don't want to kill her, Miss Summers. I want to reverse whatever effect she's had on this, this... world.", "She puts the bottle back down and turns to face him.", "Buffy: You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves.", "Giles: Giles.", "Buffy: (shrugs) Kill the bad fairy... destroy the bad fairy's powercenter, whatever, and all the troubles go away?", "Giles: Yeah, well, I'm sure it's not that simple, but...", "Buffy: (interrupts) World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn't change that.", "Giles: I have to believe in a better world.", "Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one. She strolls over to his chess table, lifts her right leg up to set her boot on its edge and spits into her hand to literally give it a spit shine.", "Giles: Cordelia said she knew that I was meant to be your Watcher. She said she knew you.", "Buffy: (works her spit into the leather) She's probably just a big fan.", "Giles: The Master sent his most vicious disciples to kill her. Now, she, she must have posed some threat to him. (puts his glasses back on)", "Buffy: (suddenly attentive) The Master?", "Giles: Um, supreme vampire around these parts. He, he lives on the outskirts of town in an old club.", "Buffy: You know where he lives, and no one's ever tried to take him out?", "Giles: People have tried.", "Buffy: Well, point the way. I might as well do some good while I'm in this town. (goes to get her weapons)", "Giles: You can't just walk in there and...", "Buffy: Look, you wanna stay here and play make-believe, fine. (puts her crossbow strap over her shoulder) I'm not gonna be any help to you anyway. There's only one thing I'm good at.", "Giles: At least let's muster some kind of force.", "Buffy: I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy. Giles gives in and tosses his book onto his desk.", "Buffy: Where's this club?", "Cut to the Bronze. Buffy whips aside the curtains and comes out of the Master's sitting area. She strolls through the club and sees the hanging cages, the ropes dangling from the pool tables, and everything for the most part put away as though the place were just closed for the day. Eveything, that is, except for the dead boy in one of the cages.", "Cut to the stairs to the basement. Buffy comes down quickly and finds the cell where Angel is chained to the wall. He is shivering hard. She looks around a bit as she walks up to the bars. He looks up at her, and a look of recognition appears on his face. She in turn just gives Angel a blank look, turns and starts to walk away.", "Angel: Buffy. She stops in her tracks.", "Angel: Buffy Summers. She turns to face Angel and gives him an inquiring look. Angel gets another look at her, and now he's sure.", "Angel: (weakly) It's you. I mean... you don't remember. How could you?", "Buffy: How did you know my name?", "Angel: I waited. I waited here for you. But you never... I was supposed to help you.", "Buffy: (huffs) You were gonna help me.", "Angel: (weakly) The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hoping maybe you'd come. My destiny.", "Buffy: (huffs) Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming.", "Angel: I'm sorry. I just meant...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Look, I don't have time for stories. Where's the Master?", "Angel: They're at his factory. It starts tonight.", "Buffy: Factory?", "Angel: (tries to move) I (grunts) I can take you there. Buffy is wary of the whole situation, but decides she can at least give him a chance. She kicks in the door to the cell and approaches Angel. She reaches behind him to get at his chains, but in doing so the cross around her neck hangs down in his face, and he flinches from it. Buffy reacts, jerks back and drops the chains.", "Buffy: Oh, you gotta be *kidding* me! She stomps out of the cell.", "Angel: Wait! I won't hurt you.", "Buffy: (faces him) No. You'll leave that to your Master.", "Angel: You don't believe I wanna help you? He makes a hard effort to stand up and opens his shirt to show her his wounds.", "Angel: Believe I want him dead. She stares at his wounds for a long moment.", "Cut to the Master's factory. The camera pans from a control panel across the crowd of gathering vampires, past a wooden cage full of humans and the machine waiting in front of it, and over to the Master up on a stage.", "Master: Vampires, come! Behold the technical wonder, which is about to alter the very fabric of our society. Some have argued that such an advancement goes against our nature. They claim that death is our art. I say to them... Well, I don't say anything to them because I kill them. Undeniably we are the world's superior race. (the camera closes in on him) Yet we have always been too parochial, too bound by the mindless routine of the predator. Hunt and kill, hunt and kill. Titillating? Yes. Practical? Hardly. Meanwhile, the humans, with their plebeian minds, have brought us a truly demonic concept: (spreads his arms) mass production!", "Vampires: (cheer) Yeah! Yeah!", "Xander: We really are living in a golden age. He is visibly moved by the proceedings. Willow tilts her head toward him and smiles.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He has several bags and bowls of various herbs and powders laid out on his chess table. He grabs a couple of them and goes over to his desk with them, where he has a large golden goblet already smoldering. He pulls bits of an herb from a bushel and drops them into the goblet as he recites the ritual to summon Anyanka.", "Giles: Oh... Anyanka... I-I beseech thee... (puts on his glasses to read) Um... (turns a page) In the name of all women scorned... (adds more herb to the fire) Come before me. He looks around his apartment to see where she might appear. She does so, but in the shadows under the stairs to his loft, where he doesn't notice. Slowly she walks into the dim light of the room.", "Giles: Oh! (lets out a nervous breath)", "Anyanka: Do you have any idea what I do to a man who uses that spell to summon me? Giles gazes at her with a look of foreboding.", "Cut to the factory.", "Master: Bring on the first! At the cage the vampires shove a couple of the humans back from the gate, lift off the crossbar and open it. Oz realizes what's about to happen, but can't do anything. Two vampires go into the cage and choose a victim.", "Vampire: You! He points to and grabs Cordette. Xander and Willow look on as she screams and is dragged out.", "Cordette: Nooo! No! Please! No! Help me! No! Noooo! Some of the men in the cage attempt to resist and help her, but they are easily knocked aside. Once they have her outside, one of them shocks her with a cattle prod. Her body goes limp. The gates to the cage are closed, and the mortals all gather to watch in horror. The two vampires drag her to the end of the machine. One of them lifts her into a long stainless steel pan like the ones used for autopsies and lays her down in it.", "Master: She's still alive, you see, for the freshness. The machine is turned on, and the pan moves along the conveyor to the blood draining station. On either side are four arms that extend over Cordette, each with a very large needle on the end. They all plunge into her body and begin to suck the blood from it. At one end of the contraption is a tap for sampling the blood, and a glass is filled for the Master to taste. In the cage Larry and Oz watch in disbelief. At the back of the factory Buffy and Angel peek around a corner. On the machine Cordette lets out her last few muffled sounds and dies. Xander and Willow watch with anticipation.", "Angel: (to Buffy) What's the plan?", "Buffy: (holds up her stake) Don't fall on this. The glass with the blood sample is passed up to the Master. Buffy and Angel calmly make their way through the crowd of vampires toward the stage. The Master rubs his fingers in anticipation of the first taste of blood from his new machine. The arms extract themselves from Cordette, and the pan with her body moves along the conveyor for disposal. The glass of blood is handed up to the Master. He holds it up to his subjects for a toast.", "Master: Welcome to the future.", "Vampires: To the future! To the future! To the future! Buffy raises her crossbow at the Master and fires. Instantly the Master pulls Xander in front of him, and the bolt hits him in the right shoulder. Buffy aims the crossbow at another target, but it gets knocked from her hand. Panic sets in among the vampires. Buffy ducks a wide swing from a vampire. She jumps up and brings her foot down to smash the back of his knee. Angel attacks a vampire by the cage, punches him in the face and shoves him aside. He rushes over to the gate and throws off the crossbar.", "Willow: (smiling) Uh-oh. Puppy got out. Angel throws open the cage's gate and starts pulling people out. Buffy twists a vampire's arm around, immobilizing him, and does a jumping roundhouse kick to his gut. The crowd of humans streams into the fray. Oz reaches up and breaks a piece off of one of the wooden cage bars. He immediately jams it into the back of a vampire. All around humans and vampires fight. Xander and Willow finally decide it's time to join in and jump down from the stage.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. Anyanka slowly approaches Giles, who bravely stands his ground.", "Giles: Cordelia Chase. What did she wish for?", "Anyanka: I had no idea her wish would be so exciting! Brave New World. I hope she likes it.", "Cut to the factory. Buffy ducks a swing from a vampire and repeats her earlier maneuver of stomping on the back of his knee. She grabs him by his shirt and throws him over the conveyor. He pulls a section of it over with him. Buffy punches another vampire in the face. Yet another one tries to grab her by the neck from behind, and she spins around and elbows him in the face. As the second one comes at her again, she side steps him and sends him barreling into the third one. Gut to Giles' apartment.", "Giles: You're gonna change it back. Anyanka finally gets too close, and he takes a couple of steps back.", "Giles: I'm not afraid of you. Your only power lies in the wishing. Anyanka makes a sudden and hard grab for his neck.", "Anyanka: Wrong! She lifts him and slams him against a wall.", "Cut to the factory. Willow swings at Buffy, but misses as Buffy ducks the punch. Buffy backhand punches Willow in the face and follows up with a roundhouse kick to her stomach. Willow falls to the ground. Buffy senses something behind her and turns around in time to backhand punch an incoming vampire. She spins around again, this time to face Xander. She grabs onto his shoulder and yanks his body down to meet her knee, getting him twice in the gut and then in the face. She turns again to find her next target. Xander gets to his feet and comes at Buffy. Angel sees him make his move, and runs to Buffy's aid.", "Angel: Buffy, look out! Still unaware of Xander's imminent attack, Buffy roundhouse kicks another vampire while holding onto his arm. She lets go of him as he falls. Angel runs past her and uppercuts Xander in the face. Xander in turn lunges at Angel with the crossbow bolt that he's pulled from his shoulder, and impales Angel. Angel turns to face Buffy and grabs his wound.", "Angel: Buffy... He crumbles to ash. Buffy takes it like he's just another dead vampire, and marches over to another fray to continue the fight.", "Anyanka: This is the real world now.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. She still has him pinned to the wall.", "Anyanka: This is the world we made. Isn't it wonderful?", "Cut to the factory. Buffy notices a vampire run up behind her and backhand punches him, sending him flying through the air. She turns her attention back to Xander, who is just throwing a man aside. He sees her coming, and advances on her in turn. He swings at Buffy, and she punches his arm away. Taking advantage of the opening, she swings her stake into his chest, and he explodes into ashes. Without a care, Buffy turns back around and starts looking for her next victim. Willow sees her love staked and makes a move toward Buffy, but Larry grabs her by an arm and tries to pull her back. Oz shakes free of a vampire and runs to Larry's assistance, grabbing her by the waist and shoving her back into a broken piece of the cage. She instantly bursts into ashes. Buffy high side kicks a vampire in the face, knocking him to the floor, and turns to face the Master. He slides down the stair railings from the stage and shoves aside the vampire and mortal blocking his way. Buffy begins a determined stride in his direction. The Master shoves more people and vampires aside in his determination to get at the Slayer. Buffy does the same.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He is beginning to choke. Just then he notices the amulet around Anyanka's neck begin to glow green, and makes a grab for it, wresting it from her neck. This causes her to let go of him, and he backhand punches her in the face, sending her staggering across the room.", "Cut to the factory. Buffy and the Master finally meet with swings that middle block each other. Buffy tries to wrap her hands around the Master's forearm.", "Cut to Giles's apartment. He scrambles to his desk, lays the amulet on it and searches frantically for something to smash it with. He soon has his marble paperweight in his hand. Anyanka gets up from the floor.", "Anyanka: You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?", "Giles: Because it has to be.", "Cut to the factory. The Master does a backhand swing, snapping Buffy's head back, dazing her. He grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her to him.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He raises the paperweight and starts to swing it down with full force at Anyanka's amulet.", "Anyanka: No!", "Cut to the factory. The Master grabs Buffy's head.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He swings the paperweight down.", "Cut to the factory. The Master gives Buffy's head a hard twist, snapping her neck.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He swings the paperweight further down.", "Cut to the factory. Buffy's expression is blank as she begins to sink to the floor.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He smashes the paperweight onto Anyanka's amulet. It shatters into thousands of pieces and emits a burst of green light.", "Cut to the factory. The Master watches as Buffy's body begins to fall, then moves on. The picture fades to bright white. The picture fades from white back to the quad at Sunnydale High School and Cordelia making her wish. She no longer has Anya's pendant around her neck.", "Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. Anya turns back to face Cordelia.", "Anya: Done. She is taken aback when nothing happens, not yet quite aware that she is no longer immortal.", "Cordelia: That would be cool! No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born.", "Anya: Done! She is surprised that nothing's happening. She looks down at herself in confusion.", "Cordelia: And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. (smiles, starts to walk away) *And* that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair.", "Anya: (tries again) Done! The camera follows Cordelia to where the gang is sitting.", "Cordelia: In fact, I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind... Giles walks past the group and makes a point of checking his watch. They all just smile at him and nod.", "Cordelia: ...disappear off the face of the earth. That would be *so* cool! Or maybe... The camera pulls in on Xander, Buffy and Willow smiling and talking cheerfully among themselves." ]

[ "The First Evil is driving Angel insane, appearing as victims of his past crimes, priming him to kill Buffy. Instead, he tries to kill himself." ]

[ "Prologue: Dublin, Ireland, 1838. It's Christmas time, and there is snow on the ground. The people in the streets are all dressed in warm cloaks. A carriage goes by. Behind it a very worried-looking young man hurries along the street. He constantly looks back to see if he's being followed. He passes a choir group singing \"Silent Night\", but pays them no mind. In a more crowded area he pushes his way through the people, eliciting a few comments on his rudeness. Suddenly a pair of arms reach out from an alleyway, pull him in and throw him to the snow-covered cobblestones. He looks up to see who his aggressor is, and finds Angelus standing over him, sporting his game face.", "Angelus: Daniel. Where were you going?", "Daniel: (afraid) You! You're not human.", "Angelus: (agreeably) Not of late, no.", "Daniel: (begs) Wh-what do you want?", "Angelus: Well, it happens that I'm hungry, Daniel, and seeing as that you're somewhat in me debt...", "Daniel: (frightened) Please, I can't!", "Angelus: A man playing at cards should have a natural intelligence or a great deal of money, and you're sadly lacking in both. Daniel tries to get up and flee, but Angelus grabs him by the coat and roars.", "Angelus: So I take me winnings me own way.", "Daniel: (looking up, terrified) The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...", "Angelus: (interrupts) Daniel, be of good cheer. It's Christmas! He bites him violently on the neck.", "Cut to Angel's bedroom. He wakes from his dream with a start, and after realizing it was only a dream, he sits up in bed.", "Cut to a Sunnydale shopping district. In the window of an audio/video store a TV is tuned to the weather.", "Weatherman: It's going to be sunny and warm with temperatures continuing in the high 70s (about 25C) throughout the holiday weekend. Just a little warm to light the Yule log, but it should make for a very nice Christmas. Angel walks past the shop window at a brisk pace and crosses the street. Somewhere on the block is a group of carolers singing \"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen\". Angel passes a Santa Claus ringing a bell and collecting for the Salvation Army. A passerby drops some coins into his pot.", "Santa: Merry Christmas! Angel stops short when he unexpectedly runs into Buffy. They are both surprised, and don't say anything for a moment. Angel breaks the silence.", "Angel: Hi.", "Buffy: Angel... Another awkward silence sets in for a while.", "Buffy: So, are you shopping? (realizes how silly that sounds) You're probably not shopping.", "Angel: I couldn't sleep.", "Buffy: Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.", "Angel: Not as a rule.", "Buffy: But you're good?", "Angel: I'm, I'm alright. You?", "Buffy: Yeah! (smiles) Yeah, I'm good. I, um, (looks down at the boxes she's carrying) I was just getting some Christmas gifts for the gang. Angel's attention is diverted to behind Buffy. In the middle of the street he sees an apparition of Daniel looking sadly back at him.", "Buffy: Um, I'd better go before the magic store closes. Angel and Daniel exchange a long look, then Daniel walks away. Buffy notices Angel's distraction.", "Buffy: Angel? She looks behind herself and sees nothing, then turns her concerned attention back to Angel.", "Buffy: What is it? Angel is frozen with fear. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. The bell rings, and students begin to pour out of the classrooms into the halls. Buffy, Willow and Xander come out of one and head over to the girls' lockers.", "Buffy: And then he just bailed. He didn't say anything. He just took off. It was so weird. The girls both work their locker combinations.", "Xander: Angel? Weird? What are the odds? (gets a look from Buffy)", "Willow: Do you think something's wrong? Maybe you should tell Giles. They both open their lockers and get what they need.", "Buffy: No. I don't wanna bug Giles. He's still kinda twitchy when it comes to the subject of Angel. She takes off her jacket and hangs it in her locker.", "Xander: Well, it must be that whole Angel-killed-his-girlfriend-and- tortured-him thing. Hey, Giles is pretty petty when it comes to stuff like that. Buffy takes a paper bag from her locker and then closes the door.", "Buffy: Xander, enough, okay? Willow zips up her book bag and closes her locker as well. They all start down the hall.", "Willow: Maybe Angel just has the holiday blues. Everybody gets 'em. Especially when they're alone.", "Buffy: It's just so frustrating. I'm trying to do the right thing and stay away from him and get over it, and then *boom*, there he is. I just want a nice, quiet Christmas vacation.", "Cut to the student lounge. A Christmas tree is set up there. The gang comes out of an adjacent hall and heads into the lounge.", "Xander: So, you doing anything special?", "Buffy: Tree. Nog. Roast beast. Just me and Mom and hopefully an excess of gifts. What are you doing for Christmas?", "Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.", "Buffy: (smiles) I just meant for vacation.", "Willow: Mm. Nothing fun. They take the steps up to the couches.", "Willow: Oz and I had planned... but I guess that's off. Cordelia is sitting on one of the couches with a friend. Xander is instantly nervous. Buffy takes her bag over to the Holiday Food Drive collection box behind the couches and starts pulling cans of food out of her bag and putting them in the box. Willow and Xander sit on the couch opposite Cordelia.", "Xander: (with false heartiness) Well, I'll be enjoying my annual Christmas Eve camp-out. See, I take my sleeping bag outside and I go to sleep on the grass. Cordelia and her friend stand up. Her friend steps over to the stairs and waits, while Cordelia hangs around to add her point of view.", "Willow: Sounds fun.", "Xander: Yeah, I like to look at the stars, you know? Feel the whole nature vibe.", "Cordelia: (smiling smugly) I thought you slept outside to avoid your family's drunken Christmas fights. Xander gives her a look like he expected no less from her.", "Xander: Yes. And that was a confidence I was hoping you would share with everyone. (smiles sarcastically) Buffy joins the group again.", "Cordelia: Well, I'll be in Aspen. Skiing. With actual snow.", "Buffy: I hear that helps.", "Cordelia: It must be a drag to be stuck here in Sweatydale, but I'm thinking of you. Okay, I'm done. She leaves wearing a shark smile, well-satisfied with her results.", "Buffy: She certainly has reverted to form.", "Willow: It's not her fault. Mm, after what happened, we gotta cut her some slack.", "Xander: That's the Christmas spirit.", "Willow: Hello, still Jewish. Chanukah spirit, I believe that was? Anyway, forgiveness is pretty much a big theme with me this year, 'cause of the... She stops when she sees Oz come up to the group. Oz glances over at Xander, who is suddenly quite uncomfortable. Oz turns his attention to Willow.", "Oz: Hey.", "Willow: Hey. (looks at him hopefully)", "Cut to an empty classroom. Willow sits on one end of the teacher's desk while Oz leans against the other and looks blankly out into the room.", "Oz: Okay. The thing is... seeing you with Xander, it was... Well, I never felt that way before... when it wasn't a full moon... but I know you guys have a history.", "Willow: But it's a history that's in the past. Well, I-I guess most history is in the past. But it's over.", "Oz: Well, I don't know. I don't know that it... ever will be between you two.", "Willow: (imploringly) Oz, please believe me.", "Oz: (looks at her) This is what I do know: I miss you. Like, every second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So, I think I'd be willing to... give it a shot.", "Willow: (stands up and smiles tentatively) Really?", "Oz: (stands up and smiles) Yeah. Willow smiles more warmly.", "Willow: Do you want us to... to hug now? (looks at him hopefully)", "Oz: (smiles) Yeah, I'm good for that. They step closer to each other and hug tightly, Oz with one arm around her back and the other gently caressing her head, while Willow holds onto him as tightly as she can, enfolding him in her arms.", "Cut to a Christmas Tree lot. Buffy and her mother walk through trying to find the right one. Other shoppers are also selecting trees.", "Shopper: Take the other one, then. Off to one side the tree merchant is spraying fake snow onto a tree. Joyce looks over one of the snowed trees.", "Joyce: Do you wanna get one with snow on it? Be very Christmasy. They continue through the tree lot.", "Buffy: I think those are just for display.", "Joyce: Oh. You know, honey, I was thinking. Maybe we should invite Faith to spend Christmas Eve with us.", "Buffy: I don't know. Faith and I don't really hang out. Or talk or make eye contact lately.", "Joyce: (looks over another tree) Do you really wanna let her spend Christmas Eve all by herself in that dingy little motel room?", "Buffy: (smiles) You're still number one with a guilt trip, Mom.", "Joyce: I try.", "Buffy: (gives in) I'll ask her.", "Joyce: You're a doll.", "Buffy: What about Giles? I mean, he doesn't have any fam...", "Joyce: (interrupts) No, I'm sure he's fine.", "Buffy: We could at least ask him and see...", "Joyce: He doesn't wanna spend Christmas Eve with a bunch of girls. (takes a deep breath) Let's split up. She goes off to her right. Buffy sighs and continues looking. She notices an area where a bunch of the trees are all brown, and walks over to them for a closer look. The tree merchant comes up to her.", "Tree merchant: Bunch of them up and died on us. Don't know why. If you want one, I can make you a hell of a deal.", "Buffy: No, thank you.", "Joyce: (from a distance) Oh, honey, this one's perfect! Buffy goes to see what her mother has found.", "Cut to another dream sequence. Images of a fire and burning candles float around. The image of a round table with candles at its center and ritualistic artifacts arranged to form three spokes upon it, all surrounded by a circle, appears. Three chanting figures are sitting round the table, their palms placed flat upon the table's rim, as if using a Ouija board. The table and figures float by several times. Suddenly the view angles up from the table and into the face of one of the three figures. It has no eyes, but instead has runes branded in the flesh where eyes should be.", "Cut to Angel's bedroom. He wakes with a gasp, frightened and breathing hard. Again he realizes it's only a dream, and rubs his head with his hands.", "Cut to Faith's motel. Cut inside her room. She's struggling with the TV, slapping and shaking it to try to get some reception, but gets nothing. There is a knock at her door.", "Faith: Yeah? Buffy opens the door and comes in.", "Faith: Hey, what's up? (to the TV) Work, damn it!", "Buffy: (closes the door) Hey. Faith gives up and turns off the TV. She stands up and faces Buffy.", "Faith: What's going on? Scary monsters?", "Buffy: No. Um, (steps further in) we're having Christmas Eve dinner at my house, and I thought that, um, if you didn't have plans...", "Faith: (smiles sharply) Your mom sent you down, huh?", "Buffy: (taken aback) No.", "Faith: Well, thanks, but I got plans. There's this big party I've been invited to. It should be a blast. (smiles evasively)", "Buffy: (unconvinced) Okay. Cool. But if you change your mind, the offer...", "Faith: That's nice of you. Thanks. But I got... I got that big party that I've been invited to, so... (smiles dismayingly) Buffy steps toward the door, but looks around and notices the Christmas lights that Faith has strung up around the room.", "Buffy: (quietly approving) I like the lights.", "Faith: Yeah. Well, 'tis the season. Whatever that means.", "Cut to Giles' kitchen. He's cooking dinner, and takes a taste. There's a knocking at his door.", "Giles: Just a minute! He goes to the door, opens it and is surprised to see Angel standing there. For a long moment neither of them says anything.", "Giles: Hello.", "Angel: Um... I'm sorry to bother you. Giles finds himself unable to keep from laughing bitterly.", "Giles: Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny. 'Sorry to bother me.'", "Angel: I need your help.", "Giles: (straight-faced) And the funny keeps on coming.", "Angel: (swallowing his pride) I understand I have no right to ask for it, but there's no one else.", "Giles: Alright. He walks back into the apartment and tosses his kitchen towel onto the counter. He heads down the hall.", "Angel: I... I can't come in unless you invite me. Giles returns from the hall, holding a crossbow and raising it at the ready.", "Giles: I'm aware of that. He walks back to the door.", "Giles: Come in. Slowly and not without reservation Angel steps into the apartment. Giles' aim does not waver.", "Angel: I've been seeing... (distracted) I've... I've had dreams lately about the past. It's... It's like I'm living it again. It's, it's so vivid, I... I need to know. (pleading) I need to know why I'm here.", "Giles: Here? Back on Earth?", "Angel: I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture.", "Giles: I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that.", "Angel: But I'm not. I was freed, and I don't understand why.", "Giles: Knowing why you were back would give you peace of mind?", "Angel: It might. Giles decides it's probably okay to put down his weapon, and bends to his side to set the crossbow down. Behind him Angel sees an apparition of Jenny Calendar.", "Giles: You think that's something you ought to have? Jenny looks at Angel sadly. Angel begins to shiver with fear.", "Giles: Because, sir, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly. Angel sees Jenny stroke her hand down Giles' shoulder and sigh. Giles doesn't notice a thing. Angel begins to pant with short rapid breaths. Giles notices the look of fear on his face focused behind him.", "Giles: What? He looks around his apartment, completely unaware of Jenny's presence.", "Angel: Don't you see her? He sees Jenny walk around Giles.", "Giles: Who? Angel begins to make his way to the door. Jenny follows him with her stare. He begins to freak out.", "Angel: I can't! He runs out of the door into the night. Giles is left standing there very confused.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Cut to his bedroom. He sleeps fitfully. Suddenly his dream flashes back to Dublin again at a dinner party. The affair is very formal. The camera moves through the house while the guests converse. At the stairs the camera angles up to follow a woman as she climbs them while two other guests come down. The camera angles back down and underneath, where Angelus is talking with a maid.", "Margaret: (nervous) Sir, please, I should return to the party.", "Angelus: Margaret, Margaret, there's no hurry.", "Margaret: (trying to pull away) Mistress will be wondering...", "Angelus: Shh. Mistress will be wondering how to get the good Reverend Chalmers into bed and will not notice the absence of canape'. (strokes her chin) Stay with me.", "Margaret: (worried) Sir, people might talk. I'll be put out in the streets. My little boy would... I can't lose this job.", "Angelus: (grabs her firmly) Then you must keep quiet.", "Margaret: You're hurting me!", "Angelus: Ah! Cry out. Call for help. I'm sure Mistress will believe your behavior beyond reproach. (sneers)", "Margaret: Please!", "Angelus: (shakes her) Come, make a scene, huh? Shall *I*?", "Margaret: (thinks better of it) No.", "Angelus: No, no. We'll be as quiet as mice. Margaret looks down, defeated, having no choice but to give in. When she looks back up at him he's in his vampire guise.", "Angelus: No matter what.", "Margaret: (terrified) Sir! My son!", "Angelus: Oh, he'll make a fine dessert, huh? She gasps as he grabs her roughly and bites her. He drinks her dry, and lets her body collapse to the floor. When he looks up he is shocked to see a witness to his deed: Buffy. She stares back at him, also in shock.", "Cut to Angel's bedroom. He wakes with a sudden jerk and gasps.", "Cut to Buffy's bedroom. She awakens with a startled twist of her head and stares into the darkness of her room, surprised and confused. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Angel's mansion. Unable to sleep, he walks out of a hall into the main room, pulling on a T-shirt. There standing at the opposite end of the room by the doorway to the atrium is Jenny.", "Jenny: (with false sympathy) Trouble sleeping?", "Angel: You're not here.", "Jenny: (slowly comes closer) I'm always here.", "Angel: Leave me alone. He sits down on the cold marble on one side of the great fireplace.", "Jenny: I can't. You won't let me.", "Angel: What do you want?", "Jenny: I wanna die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren, but guess that's off the menu.", "Angel: (can't face her) I'm sorry.", "Jenny: You're sorry? For me? Don't bother. I'm dead. I'm over it. (crouches down next to him) If you wanna feel sorry for someone, you should feel sorry for yourself. Oh, but I guess you've already got that covered.", "Angel: I am sorry... for what I've done. What else can I say to you? She puts her hand to his temple and strokes it. With her next sentence she transforms to the likeness of Daniel.", "Jenny/Daniel: I don't wanna make you feel bad.", "Daniel: I just want to show you who you are.", "Cut to Giles' office at the library.", "Giles: You had a dream about Angel.", "Buffy: I was *in* Angel's dream.", "Giles: (takes off his glasses) I'm not sure that's...", "Buffy: Giles, there was stuff in this dream that I couldn't possibly know about. It was Angel's past, he was dreaming it, and somehow I got sucked in. Giles looks up at Buffy.", "Buffy: There's something wrong with him. He looks down, then draws and releases a measured breath.", "Giles: I know. I've seen him. He wanted to know why he was back.", "Buffy: Is there a way for us to find that out?", "Giles: Uh, possibly. I-I've been looking. (puts his glasses back on)", "Buffy: Well, let me look, too. Giles gives her an inquiring glance. Buffy speaks with an in-your-face honesty, meeting Giles' coldly appraising eyes with her own steady gaze.", "Buffy: I'm not seeing him anymore. I'm trying to put all this behind me, and I'm not gonna be able to as long as we're both doing guest spots in each other's dreams. Giles leans back in his chair and considers the truth of that.", "Buffy: So we'll help him?", "Giles: (realizes he has no choice) Yes.", "Xander: (walks into the office) Where do we start? He gets surprised looks from Giles and Buffy.", "Xander: (abashed) Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing, and, um, I don't know, maybe I finally got the Chanukah spirit.", "Giles: (stands up) Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research. (goes to a small bookcase) Xander, um, (hands him a book) the Black Chronicles. And, uh, Buffy, (hands her a book) the diary of Lucious Temple, an acolyte of Acathla, expert on demons. You can skip the passages on his garden unless you're keen on growing heartier beets. Buffy and Xander head out into the main room.", "Buffy: Are you sure this is how you wanna spend your Christmas vacation?", "Xander: Yeah, this is actually the most exciting thing I've got planned. Who else can claim that pathetic a social life?", "Willow: (walks in smiling) Hey, guys. What are we doing?", "Cut to later. The three of them are all at the center table doing research. Giles drops off a few more books for them to look through. Dissolve to them having a discussion using the whiteboard. Dissolve to Xander arriving with a pizza and dropping it on the table. Dissolve to more researching with the pizza half eaten. Dissolve to later with just Willow and Buffy at the table.", "Willow: He's gonna come over on Christmas Eve 'cause my parents are out of town. We're gonna watch videos.", "Buffy: That's good, right? (they exchange a look) You guys are back.", "Willow: It's good. It's perfect. In an awkward, uncomfortable sort of way. (Buffy gives her a sympathetic look) I just don't know how to make Oz trust me.", "Buffy: Xander has a piece of you that Oz just can't touch. I guess now it's just about showing Oz that he comes first.", "Willow: (considers that) I guess. Thanks. (reads) Hey, he likes beets.", "Buffy: I read that one already. (sighs) We're not getting any closer.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He falls to the floor, clammy, shivering, and panting in horror. Another one of his victims, a businessman, paces past him.", "Businessman: The thing I remember most was thinking how artful it was. In the dark, they looked just like they were sleeping. It wasn't until I bent down and kissed them good night that I felt how cold they were. You grabbed me, and I thought, (faces Angel) who would go to so much trouble to arrange them like that? Angel looks up at him. The businessman crouches and transforms into Margaret.", "Margaret: But you see, that's what makes you different than other beasts. They kill to feed, but you took more kinds of pleasure in it than any creature that walks or crawls.", "Angel: Oh, God!", "Margaret: (mocking him) Yeah, cry out. Make a scene. Angel jumps to his feet and tries to run away, but finds Daniel standing in his way.", "Daniel: I was to be married that week, but then, as I recall, you knew that.", "Angel: It wasn't me. Daniel transforms into Jenny.", "Jenny: It wasn't you?", "Angel: A demon isn't a man. I was a man once.", "Jenny: (derisively) Oh, yes, and what a man you were. Angel is forced to flash back to the days before he became a vampire, in a bar, singing and drinking, pulling at a woman's dress before passing out and falling to the floor. The flashback is over, and Margaret is standing before him again.", "Margaret: A drunken, whoring layabout, and a terrible disappointment to your parents.", "Angel: I was young. I never had a chance to...", "Margaret: To die of syphilis? You were a worthless being before you were *ever* a monster. Angel can't take much more, and he holds his hands to his ears.", "Angel: Stop it! Stop... Margaret transforms to Jenny, and she puts her hands on his, gently taking them away from his ears.", "Jenny: I don't wanna hurt you, Angel, but you have to understand. Cruelty's the only thing you ever had a true talent for.", "Angel: That's not true.", "Jenny: Shh. (leads him to the coffee table) Rest. (gently gets him to lie down) Rest. (walks around him) You mistake it for a curse, Angel, but it's not. It's your destiny. She sits down by his head and strokes his hair.", "Jenny: I'll show you. I'll show you. Dissolve to Sunnydale High. Cut to the library. Xander yawns in his chair behind the checkout counter and goes back to researching his book. The camera pans over to the window to Giles's office. Willow is asleep in a chair. Giles gets up from his desk to get another book. Dissolve to the stacks. The camera moves into them to a sleeping Buffy, with several books lying on the floor around her. She rolls from her side onto her back. Dissolve to Angel's mansion. He rolls over onto his back also. In a flash of bright light they are both sharing a dream. Buffy is lying in her bed, and she slowly opens her eyes. Angel is sitting at her side, looking down at her, waiting for her to awaken. He reaches for Buffy's hand with his. They touch fingertips briefly before intertwining their fingers and clasping hands. Next Buffy is facing Angel, sitting on his lap with her legs circling round his waist. They are kissing passionately, holding each other as closely as possible, caressing each other tenderly. Buffy tugs at Angel's shirt, and he helps her pull it up and off, baring his chest. In the real world Angel turns again on the coffee table. Now it is Angel's turn to slip the satin pajama top from Buffy's shoulders. They hold each other tightly as they kiss longer and more intensely. In the real world Buffy moans and turns her head while lying on the library floor. Buffy and Angel are lying in bed together, making gentle passionate love. They change positions as Angel rolls on top of her, the muscles of his back flexing under his tattoo. They caress each other for several moments. Angel tenderly kisses Buffy where her neck joins her shoulder, and he slides his hand up and along her outstretched arm, reaching and clasping her hand as they continue making love. Suddenly, over Angel's shoulder, Buffy sees the eyeless priest from her previous dream, sightlessly observing them from where he's standing at her door. There are several sudden flashes of light. Angel removes his hands from their tender clasp and then, as a thunderclap is heard, grabs Buffy's wrists hard, forcibly pinning her down to the bed. He rises over her and transforms into his vampire guise, and then bites her savagely on the neck.", "Cut to the library. Buffy wakes in startled shock.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He wakes and sits bolt upright, drawing a hard breath. Jenny is still sitting next to him.", "Jenny: You want her?", "Angel: (panting) No.", "Jenny: (insistently) Take her. Take what you want. Pour all that frustration and all that guilt into *her*, and you'll be free.", "Angel: No.", "Jenny: You can't live for eternity with *all that pain*. This is what you are. This is why we brought you back. Take her! And then you'll be ready... (moves in to his ear) ...to kill her.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy walks out of the stacks and down the stairs.", "Giles: Here, Buffy. Take a look. He goes to the table with a pile of very old and worn sheets of paper.", "Giles: These letters contain references to a, a, an ancient power known as The First.", "Buffy: First what?", "Giles: Evil. Absolute evil, older than man, than demons. It could have had the power to bring Angel back.", "Buffy: These guys, (picks up one of the letters with sketches of the eyeless priest) I-I saw them in my dream. I, I fell asleep up there.", "Giles: You had another dream? With Angel? (Buffy nods) What happened?", "Buffy: (evasively) Oh, we don't need to get sidetracked. Who are these guys?", "Giles: Um, they're known as the, uh, (sits) as the Bringers o-o-or Harbingers. They're high priests of The First. They, uh, they can conjure spirit manifestations and set them on people, influence them, haunt them.", "Buffy: These are the guys working the mojo on Angel? Xander comes out from behind the counter.", "Xander: We gotta stop them.", "Giles: Y-you can't fight The First, Buffy. It's not a-a physical being.", "Buffy: Well, I-I can fight these priest guys.", "Xander: If we can find them.", "Cut to Willy's bar. He's wiping down a few bottles and putting them away when he sees Buffy and Xander enter the bar.", "Willy: (loudly so everyone hears) Hey! It's the Slayer. What brings the, uh, Slayer down here? Several vampires at the bar get up and quietly leave.", "Buffy: (goes up to the bar) Hey, Willy, how you been?", "Willy: (pours a drink for a customer) Keeping out of trouble, as God is my witness. (comes over to them) So, w-what can I do for you? Couple of drinks?", "Xander: Yeah. Let me get a double shot of, um... (exchanges a look with Buffy) (aggressively to Willy) of information, pal.", "Buffy: Three priests. They call themselves...", "Xander: (interrupts) The Bringers.", "Buffy: (shoots Xander a look) Bringers, Harbingers. They have a 'no eyes' kinda look.", "Willy: Doesn't ring a bell.", "Xander: (menacingly) How about I ring that bell for you? (hopefully to Buffy) Does the threatening come now?", "Buffy: Maybe you shouldn't help. (to Willy) They would've come to town recently. They'd be holed up somewhere summoning the spirit of The First. Willy looks around the bar carefully, then leans in toward them.", "Willy: Well... I heard a few things, you know, from the underground.", "Xander: The underground?", "Willy: Yeah, you know. From things that live under the ground. Apparently there's been a lot of migration out of Sunnydale from the lower inhabitants. Something's scaring them off, and these are things that aren't easily scared. Could be your priest guys are underground.", "Buffy: Underground where?", "Willy: (regretfully) I do not know.", "Buffy: Okay. Thanks.", "Xander: See you around. They start to leave the bar.", "Willy: (to Xander) Hey. (Xander faces him) You did great, by the way. I was very intimidated by you.", "Xander: Really? (smiles) Willy gives him a nod.", "Xander: (smiles widely) Thanks!", "Buffy: (takes Xander's arm) Let's go. (leads him away)", "Willy: Hey, kid. (Buffy faces him) Merry Christmas. Buffy just gives him a look, and then she and Xander leave. Cut outside. They step into the heat of the day and start down the block.", "Xander: Man, is it hot. It was so nice and cool in there.", "Buffy: Yeah, a nice cool waste of time. They stop walking.", "Xander: We know underground. That's a start.", "Buffy: Sure, in a town with fourteen million square miles of sewer.", "Xander: Plus a lot of natural cave formations and a gateway to Hell. Yeah, this does resemble square one.", "Buffy: I don't know what to do.", "Xander: I think right now the best plan is to deck the halls with boughs of holly. Look, we'll catch the bad guys... sooner or later.", "Cut to Willow's house. Oz comes in.", "Oz: Willow? (closes the door) I got videos. (holds them up) When he sees the living room, he stops in his tracks. Willow has the room softly lit, with a small fire going in the fireplace, candles burning on the coffee table, and soft music playing on the stereo. She is sitting on the sofa, dressed nicely just for him.", "Willow: Hi. (pats the sofa next to her) Why don't you come s-sit down? After a moment's hesitation, he walks into the room and sits down next to her. He set the videos on the table. On the stereo \"Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe\", by Barry White, begins to play.", "Lyrics: I've heard people say that Oz isn't sure what to make of this, and looks at Willow. She smiles back at him.", "Lyrics: Too much of anything is not good for you, baby", "Oz: You ever have that dream where you're in a play, and it's the middle of the play and you really don't know your lines, and you kinda don't know the plot?", "Willow: Well, we're alone, and we're together. I-I just wanted it to be special.", "Oz: How special are we talking?", "Willow: (a bit nervous) Well, you know, we're alone, and we're both mature younger people, and, and so... w-we could... I-I'm ready to... w- with you. (whispers) We could do that thing. Oz looks at her in disbelief. Willow smiles back. Oz has to stand up.", "Willow: Where are you going?", "Oz: No, I'm not going. Just a dramatic gesture. That's, that's pretty special.", "Willow: (stands also) Oz, I-I wanna be with you. First.", "Oz: I think we should sit down again. They sit stiffly.", "Willow: Oz? He looks at her, worry evident in his expression.", "Willow: I-I'm ready.", "Oz: Okay. Well, don't take this the wrong way... but I'm not.", "Willow: (confused) Are you scared? 'Cause I thought you had...", "Oz: (shyly) No, I have, but this is different. I mean, you look great. You know, and, and you got the Barry working for you, and, and it's all... good. But when it happens... I want it to be because we both need it to for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me.", "Willow: I just wanted you to know.", "Oz: I know. (smiles) I get the message. Willow leans over to him, and they kiss.", "Cut to the Summers house. Christmas music plays in the background. Buffy puts the finishing touches on the tree. Joyce places another log on the fire. She stands up and inspects the result.", "Joyce: There we go.", "Buffy: Nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat.", "Joyce: Oh, come on. It's lovely. Maybe I should turn the air conditioning on. Buffy is off in her own world as she finishes trimming the tree.", "Joyce: So, angel's on top again?", "Buffy: (startled) What?", "Joyce: (holds up an angel and a star) Angel or star?", "Buffy: Oh, uh... star. Star. The doorbell rings. Buffy and her mom exchange an inquiring look, wondering whom it could be. Buffy goes to the door and opens it.", "Faith: (uncertainly) Hey.", "Buffy: Hi!", "Faith: Uh, looked like that whole party thing was gonna be kind of a drag. (drops her eyes for an instant) I didn't really have anything... You know.", "Buffy: (sincerely) I'm glad you came.", "Faith: (smiles) Uh... Here. (hands Buffy gifts)", "Buffy: Why don't you come in from the entire lack of cold?", "Faith: Mm. She steps in, and Buffy closes the door.", "Faith: Uh, that one (points) is for your mom. They're pretty crappy.", "Joyce: Faith, you made it. (takes the gifts from Buffy) Oh, that is so thoughtful.", "Faith: (smiles, embarrassed) They're crappy.", "Buffy: You know, I'm gonna go upstairs and get your gifts. Excuse me.", "Joyce: Uh, would you like some nog? Cut upstairs. Buffy walks down the hall and into her room.", "Buffy: Okay, Mom, don't touch yours, though, 'cause then you're gonna know what it is. Once in her room she hears her door slam behind her. She spins around to find Angel there. He looks very tired and somewhat disoriented.", "Buffy: Angel.", "Angel: Huh... Buffy.", "Buffy: What is it? He looks around apprehensively and clears his throat.", "Angel: I gotta... I... look, I, uh, I had to see you, um... He sees her bed, and it confuses him.", "Angel: I don't know, I... You shouldn't be...", "Buffy: Just tell me what's going on. His gaze focuses on her neck, and he notices she's not wearing her cross. Jenny appears to him behind her.", "Jenny: She wants you to touch her. What are you waiting for?", "Angel: You have to stay away from me.", "Buffy: (bewildered) You came to see me to tell me that I can't see you? Angel pants heavily and struggles hard with himself for control.", "Buffy: Angel, something is doing this to you. He starts to move toward her. She backs away.", "Buffy: (worried and frightened) You just have to control it, okay? I-I know that you're confused.", "Angel: I think you're the one who's confused. I think you need to...", "Jenny: She wants you to taste her. Think of the peace. You'll never have to see us again. Angel struggles for control of his mind. He grabs his hair with his hands in desperation.", "Buffy: (imploringly) Angel, how can I help you?", "Angel: Leave me alone! He runs toward her window and dives out. Buffy is in shock over it all. Cut downstairs. Buffy hurriedly talks with Faith as she's grabbing her coat before leaving.", "Buffy: I just need you to stay with Mom in case he comes back. (makes strides for the door)", "Faith: Yeah, I'll play watchdog. I don't really get it, though.", "Buffy: I'll explain later. Everything. I promise. Opens the door and leaves.", "Faith: (concerned) Watch your back.", "Cut to Giles' apartment.", "Buffy: Giles, we have to do something. Soon. Now.", "Giles: I'm still not sure what.", "Buffy: (desperate) Find me these priest guys. Find me something I can pummel.", "Giles: Let's not lose our heads.", "Buffy: Giles, he's slipping. Giles has no response to that.", "Buffy: (voice faltering) I think we're losing him.", "Giles: Look... (puts on his glasses) You realize if he... truly becomes a danger, you may have to kill him. Again. Can you do that? Buffy can't bring herself to answer.", "Cut to the atrium at Angel's mansion. He tries to get away from Jenny and goes into the mansion.", "Angel: I can't do it.", "Jenny: You have to do it. (tauntingly) What else are you good for?", "Angel: (panting hard) Get away from me!", "Jenny: (appears behind him) Couldn't you just... feel her? (leans close to him) Couldn't you almost smell her skin? You never were a fighter, Angel, don't start trying now. (steps away) Sooner or later you will drink her.", "Angel: I'll never hurt her.", "Jenny: You were born to hurt her. (scornfully) Have you learned nothing? As long as you are alive...", "Angel: (flatly) Then I'll die.", "Jenny: (pauses to consider) You don't have the strength to kill yourself.", "Angel: I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise. He walks back out into the atrium.", "Jenny: You're not supposed to die. This isn't the plan. She watches him walk through the atrium and take the steps up and out.", "Jenny: But it'll do. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' apartment. Buffy reads aloud from a book. Behind her Giles sits on the stairs and reads to himself from another.", "Buffy: 'A child shall be born of man and goat and have two heads, and The First shall speak only in riddles...' No wonder you like this stuff. (closes the book) It's like reading The Sun.", "Giles: (finds something) Yes. Ah.", "Buffy: (looks up at him) Priests?", "Giles: Um... Yes, but, uh, more, more posturing, I'm afraid. Um, (reads) 'For they are the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below them. No seed shall flower, neither in man nor...' (gestures that it goes on and on) They're rebels and they'll never ever be any good. Nothing specific about their haunts.", "Buffy: Let me see that. Giles hands her the book.", "Buffy: (reads) '...the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below...' She is suddenly lost in thought.", "Giles: What?", "Cut to the Christmas tree lot. Buffy kicks open the gate and marches straight toward the dead trees. Once there she studies them for a moment. The camera lifts straight up, looking down at the six trees that have died arranged in a circle. All the trees around them are fine.", "Cut to Buffy at ground level. She looks around for something to dig with and finds a long-handled ax. She swings it at the ground, and after a couple of hits she breaks through. A few more swings and the hole is large enough for her to get through. She crouches down and drops herself into it. Cut below. Buffy drops down into a cave. There are groups of candles burning here and there. She cautiously looks around and starts to make her way deeper into the cave. She can hear chanting coming from nearby. She doesn't have to go far before she finds the table with the priests sitting around it.", "Buffy: Alright, ten more minutes of chanting and then you guys have to go to bed. The priests get up, and Buffy jumps down to fight them. She swings the handle of her ax into one priest's stomach, and he goes down. She swings it into another one, who doubles over. She follows up with another swing to his head, and he goes down, too. The third one runs away. Buffy uses the ax to destroy the arrangement of artifacts on the table. The next thing she knows, Jenny is in the cave with her.", "Jenny/The First: Hmm. I'm impressed. Buffy hesitates at first, surprised to see Jenny there, but quickly realizes that it's not really her.", "Buffy: (defiantly) You won't get Angel.", "Jenny/The First: Hmm. You think you can fight me? I'm not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can't even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate.", "Buffy: (loses her patience) Alright, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?", "Jenny/The First: (unimpressed) Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas... will be his wake.", "Buffy: No.", "Jenny/The First: You have no idea what you're dealing with.", "Buffy: (dripping with sarcasm) Lemme guess. Is it... evil? The apparition of Jenny shrinks and is replaced for an instant by an image of a huge horned and clawed beast coming at her, roaring and with eyes glowing red. It fades as quickly as it appeared. Buffy stares in shock at the place where it appeared. It screams a final warning.", "The First: DEAD BY SUNRISE! Buffy runs from the cave, terrified for Angel's life.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Buffy runs in.", "Buffy: Angel! She looks around, but he's nowhere to be seen. She walks toward the doorway to the atrium and looks out. She sees the steps leading up and runs toward them. Cut to the hills behind the mansion. Buffy runs through the bushes, frantically looking for Angel. She climbs further up the hill and finds him standing at the top looking out over a peaceful residential area of town.", "Buffy: Angel. He hears her say his name and briefly glances in her direction before looking back out over the rooftops. Buffy slowly walks over to him.", "Angel: I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day.", "Buffy: (out of breath) Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. Th- there's only a few minutes left.", "Angel: I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.", "Buffy: (anxiously and hurried) I don't have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you...", "Angel: (interrupts) It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me.", "Buffy: (confused) Showing you?", "Angel: What I am.", "Buffy: (insistently) Were.", "Angel: And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do.", "Buffy: You *don't* know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?", "Angel: (harshly) I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer.", "Buffy: Then fight it.", "Angel: It's too hard.", "Buffy: (desperately) Angel, please, you *have* to get inside.", "Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.", "Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?", "Angel: (raises his voice) Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. He sobs. Buffy is at a loss for words.", "Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man.", "Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel doesn't want to believe her.", "Buffy: (pleadingly) Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. (raises her voice) But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster. She looks out at the sky as it begins to lighten.", "Buffy: (begging frantically) Angel, please, the sun is coming up!", "Angel: Just go.", "Buffy: I won't!", "Angel: What, do you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!", "Buffy: You are not staying here. (grabs his arm) I won't let you!", "Angel: I said LEAVE! He jerks his arm free of her grasp. In her anger and desperation Buffy punches him. He reacts by shoving her away from him roughly, making her fall face forward, hard to the ground.", "Angel: (quietly to himself) Oh, my God... He goes to her and crouches over her, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her around to face him. Buffy fears his intentions and cries out.", "Buffy: No! No! He grabs her roughly by the arms and holds her firmly.", "Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? (shakes her) Am I a righteous man? (shakes her) The world wants me gone!", "Buffy: (tearfully) What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help. She shoves him off of her and gets up.", "Buffy: (crying) And I hate it! I hate that it's *so* hard... and that you can hurt me *so* much. (sobs, then harshly) I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. (whispers) I can't. Angel gets up now, too.", "Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.", "Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. Angel struggles with himself, knowing she's right.", "Buffy: (resolvedly) But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do *not* expect me to watch. And *don't* expect me to mourn for you, because... She stops in mid-sentence because it has inexplicably begun to snow. She and Angel both look up at it coming down, lightly at first and gradually heavier. The camera pulls up above them and shows them standing there with the snowflakes swirling around them in the gentle morning breeze, and the ground around them starting to become white. Cut to Angel, looking around in amazement. Buffy walks to the edge of the hill and looks out at the town as the roofs on the houses below also start to become white. She turns to Angel, and they look at each other, stunned by this apparent miracle.", "Cut to Willow and Oz in her bedroom. They notice the snow outside and sit up on her bed. Willow is first to get up and walk to her balcony door to look out. Oz is right behind. They smile as they see it come down and notice the glass of her French doors begin to frost.", "Cut to the Summers house. About an inch and a half (4cm) of snow has now collected on the roof. The camera pans down to the door. Faith opens it, and she and Joyce come out to watch it fall. Faith steps off the porch and lets a few flakes fall on her open hands and face. Joyce pulls her wrap tightly around her against the cold.", "Cut to Giles' apartment. He notices that his window has become frosted, and goes over to it to have a look outside. He stares out in amazement.", "Cut to Xander lying in his sleeping bag in his backyard. The light from his lantern glows blue. His unfinished dinner plate is covered with snow, as is a comic book he had put aside before retiring. He is sleeping with the top flap of his sleeping bag folded open under his arm. He stirs slightly and wipes at the snowflakes falling on his face. That doesn't help, so he reflexively pulls the flap closed over his head, fallen snow and all. This wakes him up, and a moment later he pushes back the flap and looks up in wonder at the falling snow.", "Cut to the shopping district. The camera pans from the green neon sign of the Sun Cinema down to where the movies now playing are listed. The weatherman can be heard on the TV in the window of the audio/video store.", "Weatherman: And while most of Southern California is enjoying a balmy Christmas, an extreme cold front has sprung up out of nowhere around Sunnydale, where they are reporting heavy snowfall for the first time in, well, ever.", "Cut to the weatherman on TV. The camera pans from him out into the street.", "Weatherman: Sunnydale residents shouldn't expect to see the sun at all today. That cold front isn't going anywhere. With temperatures in the high 30s (about 3C), means you better bundle up if you're planning to go outside and enjoy the change in the weather.", "Cut to a view of the trees in the street aglow with Christmas lights. The camera pans down into the street, which is deserted except for Buffy and Angel, who walk along hand-in-hand, still looking up at the snow as it comes down.", "Cut to a view from above. The street and a few parked cars are covered with about two inches (5cm) of snow. The camera sinks down below a traffic light. Buffy and Angel continue walking in silence down the street.", "Cut to a close-up of them walking. Buffy looks over at Angel. He looks exhausted but at peace. He notices her gaze and smiles at her. Together they walk out of view." ]

[ "After two children are mysteriously killed, apparently as part of a cult sacrifice, Joyce ( Kristine Sutherland ) leads the town in a witch hunt - but all is not quite as it seems. Buffy, Willow, and Amy Madison ( Elizabeth Anne Allen ) are tied to stakes and Giles and Cordelia must rescue them, while Amy turns herself into a rat to escape the angry mob." ]

[ "Prologue: A Sunnydale park at night. Buffy slowly strolls along the perimeter and into an area surrounded by bushes. She hears a rustling sound coming from the bush directly in front of her, and stops instantly, her gaze fixed on the shaking branches. She pulls out her stake and gets ready to fight, when suddenly she hears a voice to her left.", "Joyce: Is it a vampire? Buffy snaps her head to the left and sees her mother walk toward her carrying a bag in one hand and a large thermos in the other.", "Buffy: Mom, what are you doing here?", "Joyce: (holds up the bag and thermos) I brought you a snack. I thought it was about time for me to come out and watch. Y-you know, the slaying.", "Buffy: You know, the slaying is kind of an alone thing.", "Joyce: But it's such a big part of your life, and I'd like to understand it. It's, um, you know, something we could share.", "Buffy: A-actually, it's pretty dull, you know, it's (distracted) bam boom stick... poof. Her attention is back on the rustling bush, and she nudges her mother to the side a bit. Suddenly a vampire jumps out at her and runs straight for her. She ducks as the vampire lunges at her with his arms outstretched. She gets back up and delivers a right hook to his face followed by a backhand punch on the backswing and a left to the face, making him take a step back. Her mother cheers her on.", "Joyce: Good, honey! Kill him! Buffy does an out-to-in crescent kick, which he easily ducks. She tries to punch him in the face again, but he grabs onto her shoulders and rolls onto his back, sending her rolling over him and onto her back. She lets out a pained grunt and looks around to get her bearings.", "Joyce: (points) Buffy, he-he's over here! The vampire faces her and roars.", "Joyce: Oh, my God! It's Mr. Sanderson from the bank! He comes at Buffy with a front snap kick, which she low blocks. He tries to punch her, but she ducks it. Buffy does a half spinning in-to-out crescent kick followed swiftly by a leg sweep, knocking the vampire's legs out from under him. She stands back up and gets ready to punch him, but he's had enough. He scrambles to his feet and hightails it out of there.", "Joyce: (points with the thermos) And he's getting away! Buffy gives her a stern look.", "Buffy: Stay! She runs off after the vampire. Joyce lets out a worried sigh and decides to walk the short distance over to the playground. There she sets down her bag and the thermos on a bench near the swings. She shivers a bit from the cold night air. She steps over to the concrete border between the grass and the sand of the playground and notices a toy pickup truck that was left behind in a small puddle. She picks it up and smiles as she looks it over. Then something catches her eye at the other side of the playground.", "Cut to Buffy on the ground with the vampire bending over her. She grabs him and pulls him over and down onto the ground next to her. She scrambles to her knees and jams her stake home. The vampire explodes in a cloud of ashes.", "Cut to Joyce as she makes her way over to the carousel. When she's close enough to get a good look, she stops in horror, shocked at what she sees.", "Joyce: Oh, God. (takes a breath) Oh...", "Cut to a long shot of her with the carousel in the foreground. The body of a young boy lies dead on it, and next to it on the sand lies the body of a young girl. Joyce can't believe her eyes. Each of the children has one arm outstretched, and drawn in black on the palms of their hands is a triangle. It has a wide U-shaped symbol in the middle, with its ends extending out from the triangle and bending in a sharp arc at the tips. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The playground. Several police cars and a coroner's van have arrived, and the detectives are looking over the scene. No one has touched the bodies yet. The police photographer steps up to the carousel and takes aim at the young boy with his camera. A series of black-and-white photos follow. The boy's outstretched arm with the symbol on the palm of his hand. The girl from straight above with her outstretched arm. A close-up shot of the girl's face. A wide-angle shot of both of the children from above. The boy from straight above with his outstretched arm. A close-up of the boy's hand with the symbol clearly visible. Sometime later, Buffy is finishing an interview with a police officer. She asks him if she and her mother can leave now.", "Police Officer #1: Yes, ma'am. Buffy walks over to her mother. The police bustle with activity around them.", "Police Officer #2: Alright, let's move here. Somebody pull that car out.", "Buffy: (reaches her mother) They said we can go home now.", "Joyce: (distraught) They were little kids. Did you see them? They're so tiny.", "Buffy: (sympathetically) I saw.", "Joyce: (shaking her head) Who could do something like this? I just...", "(looks down sadly)", "Buffy: I'm so sorry that you had to see this. But I promise, everything is gonna be okay.", "Joyce: How?", "Buffy: Because I'm gonna *find* whatever did it.", "Joyce: I guess. It's just you can't... you can't make it right.", "Buffy hugs her mother closely. Joyce begins to sob.", "Buffy: (comfortingly) I know. I'm sorry. But I'll take care of everything. I promise. Just try and calm down.", "Cut to the library the next morning. Buffy looks up at Giles standing at the top of the stairs to the book stacks.", "Buffy: (upset) Don't tell me to calm down!", "Giles: (taken aback) I-I-I only meant...", "Buffy: They were kids, Giles. Little kids! You don't know what it was like to see them there. My mom can't even talk.", "Giles: (takes a few steps down) I'm sorry. I... I just want to help.", "Buffy: (calms a bit) I know. Giles comes down the rest of the way and goes over to the center table. Buffy follows and leans against the back of a chair.", "Giles: Do we know how? Uh... It wasn't a vampire? (sits on the table)", "Buffy: No. There were no marks. Giles lifts his mug for a sip of his tea, but stops as Buffy continues.", "Buffy: Wait. I-I mean, there, there was a mark, um, a-a symbol. She steps around the chair, grabs a pen from the table and sits to draw it. Giles hurriedly sets down his mug and quickly reaches over to stop Buffy before she can deface the parchments lying there in front of her.", "Giles: Oh, uh, 12th century, Papal Encyclical. Write on this. He gently picks up the parchments and nudges a spiral notebook over to her. Buffy flips the notebook to a blank page and draws as Giles sets down the parchments and picks up his mug again.", "Buffy: I-it was on their hands. The cops are keeping it quiet, but I got a good look at it. She pushes the drawing over for Giles to see.", "Buffy: There. Find me the thing that uses this symbol and point me at it.", "Giles: (thoughtfully) Hmm.", "Buffy: Hmm. What? Giles, speak.", "Giles: (torn from his reverie) What? Oh, sorry. Um, no, it... (picks up the notebook) I just wonder if we're looking for a thing. The use of a symbol o-o-on a victim like this suggests a, a ritual murder and a cult sacrifice by a group.", "Buffy: A group of... human beings? Someone with a soul did this?", "Giles: Yes, I'm afraid so. He goes over to the bookshelves behind the table and starts his research.", "Buffy: Okay. Then while you're looking for the meaning of that symbol thingy, could you also find a loophole in that 'Slayers don't kill people' rule? Giles looks back at her from his crouched position.", "Giles: Buffy, this is a dreadful crime, I know, (stands up) and you have every right to be upset, but... I-I wonder if you're not letting yourself get a shade, uh... more personal because of your mother's involvement.", "Buffy: (stands and faces him) Oh, it's *completely* personal. Giles, find me the people that did this. Please.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Oz and Xander are at the steam tables selecting their lunch. Oz reaches in, grabs a foil-wrapped burrito and sets it on his plate. Xander glances over at him.", "Xander: Hey.", "Oz: Hey. They move down the line to the fruit cocktail bowls and each takes one.", "Xander: (slightly nervous) So, a burrito.", "Oz: This is a burrito.", "Xander: Damn straight. They both take their trays and head for an empty table. Cut to them sitting and eating. Willow and Amy find them.", "Willow: Hi, Oz.", "Oz: Hey.", "Willow: Xander. Hi.", "Oz: Hey, Amy. Willow and Amy both sit. Amy has a huge smile on her face, pleased to show off her new short and darker hairstyle.", "Amy: Hi, guys.", "Xander: Hey, Amy. I like your new hair.", "Oz: (to Willow) I haven't see you all day. Where you been?", "Xander: (shaking his head defensively) Not with me. No, sir. Ask anyone. No. Oz looks over at him with his lips stretched tightly. Willow gives Xander a look and tries to give Oz a smile. The tension is very thick. Oz finally breaks it with a change of subject.", "Oz: So, Buffy's birthday is next week.", "Xander: (claps his hands and points at Oz) Ooh! Yeah. Good. I've been pondering gift options. Willow sees Buffy approaching.", "Willow: Shh.", "Xander: Oh, come on, we just got a topic here.", "Willow: Hi, Buffy.", "Xander: Buffy! (stands up) What's up? He offers her his chair. She takes it and sits while he grabs one from a neighboring table.", "Buffy: You guys didn't hear?", "Xander: Hear what?", "Buffy: A murder. Somebody killed two little kids.", "Willow: (shocked) Oh, no.", "Buffy: They were, like, seven or eight years old. My mom found the bodies during patrol last night.", "Amy: Oh, my God.", "Oz: Kids?", "Xander: Why was your mom there?", "Buffy: More bad. She picked last night, of all nights, for a surprise bonding visit.", "Willow: God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you? Buffy shoots Willow a look.", "Willow: That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?", "Buffy: No. The point is, she's completely wigging. Her mother comes up behind her.", "Joyce: Who's wigging? Buffy snaps her head around, sees Joyce standing there and stands up.", "Buffy: (thinking quickly) Um... everyone. You know, 'cause of what happened.", "Joyce: Oh, it's so awful. I-I had bad dreams about it all night.", "Willow: Hi, Mrs. Summers.", "Joyce: (absently) Oh, hi, everybody.", "Xander: Hi.", "Amy: Hi, Mrs. Summers.", "Joyce: Buffy, have you talked to Mr. Giles yet about who could have done this?", "Buffy: Yeah. He, uh... He thinks it might be something ritual. A cult. Uh, he's still looking. In the meantime, we're gonna add to my patrol and, and, y'know, keep an eye out.", "Joyce: A cult. (jumps to a conclusion) Like witches. Willow coughs. Amy looks away.", "Willow: Sorry. Phlegm. Too much dairy.", "Joyce: Oh, I-I-I know you kids think that stuff's cool. Buffy told me you dabble.", "Willow: (nervously) Right. Absolutely. That's me. I'm a dabbler.", "Joyce: But anybody who could do this isn't cool. Anybody who could do this has to be a monster. It's...", "Buffy: (interrupts) You know what? Uh, would you guys excuse us for a little bit?", "Joyce: Uh, n-nice to see you. Buffy leads her out of the cafeteria.", "Xander: What a burn. I mean, Buff's mom was just starting to accept the whole Slayer thing, and now she's gonna be double-freaked.", "Willow: (smiles) Makes me grateful that my mom's not interested in my extra-curricular activities. Amy has to smile at that. Then Willow frowns.", "Willow: Or my *curricular* activities.", "Cut to the hall outside the cafeteria. Buffy and Joyce come into the hall and slowly start down it.", "Joyce: Are your friends gonna help with the investigation, too?", "Buffy: Mom, I really think... Maybe this isn't the best place to talk about this.", "Joyce: Are you embarrassed to be hanging out with your mother? I didn't hug you. They stop by the stairs.", "Buffy: No. It's just... This hall is about school, and you're about home. Mix them, my world dissolves.", "Joyce: It's just, I keep thinking about who could have done such a thing. I have to help.", "Buffy: Well, Giles can always use help in the library.", "Joyce: I called everybody I know in town. I told them about the dead children. They're all just as upset as I am.", "Buffy: (confused) You called everybody that you know?", "Joyce: And they called all their friends. And guess what? We're setting up a vigil, for tonight, for City Hall. The Mayor is even gonna be there. Now we are gonna get some action. (smiles)", "Buffy: (less than thrilled) Uh-huh. That's great. Uh... But you know what? A lot of times when we're working on stuff like this, we like to keep the number of people that know about it kind of... small.", "Joyce: (considers) Oh. Right. Well, I-I'm sure there won't be all that many people.", "Cut to City Hall. A large crowd has gathered in the main conference room. Many of them are holding up signs with pictures of the two children and the words \"Never Again!\" Buffy and Willow walk in and look around at the crowd.", "Buffy: This is great. Maybe we could all go patrolling together later.", "Willow: (gestures at Joyce) At least your mom's making an effort. My mom's probably... (notices) standing right in front of me right this second. Her mother sees them and comes up to them.", "Willow: Mom?", "Sheila: Willow, I-I didn't know you were going to be here. (to Buffy, absently) Oh, hi, Bunny.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Willow: Mom, what are you doing here?", "Sheila: Oh, well, I read about it in the paper, and what with your dad out of town... (notices, surprised) Willow, you cut off your hair! Huh. That's a new look.", "Willow: Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had... in August.", "Sheila: (smiles) I like it. Joyce comes over to join them. Sheila reaches out to shake hands.", "Sheila: Hello, Joyce.", "Joyce: Sheila, I'm glad you could come. Giles also shows up. He keeps his hands in his pockets.", "Giles: There you are. I almost didn't find you in this crush. (notices Joyce) (nervously) Oh, uh, Mrs., uh... uh, Joyce. Quite a turnout you have here.", "Joyce: Oh, well, it's, it's not just me, but thank you. Well, it's, uh, it's been a while.", "Giles: (uneasy) Right. Not since, um... Not since... Not for a while.", "Sheila: There's a rumor going around, Mr. Giles.", "Giles: (suddenly worried) R-rumor, about us? Joyce shoots him a look of dismay. Giles gets the hint.", "Giles: A-a-about what?", "Sheila: About witches. (Willow and Buffy exchange a look) People calling themselves witches are responsible for this brutal crime.", "Giles: Indeed? How strange.", "Willow: (laughs nervously, trying to play it off) Yes! Strange! Witches.", "Sheila: (goes into lecture mode) Well, actually, not that strange. I recently co-authored a paper about the rise of mysticism among adolescents, and I was shocked at the statistical... She is interrupted by some electronic feedback when the Mayor tests the microphone as he steps up to the lectern.", "Sheila: Oh. Oh, a-are we starting? The Mayor clears his throat and sniffles. Joyce makes her way around behind everyone over to Buffy, who is frowning up at the Mayor.", "Mayor Wilkins: Hello, everybody.", "Joyce: (to Buffy, wispering) He'll do something about this. You'll see. Everyone settles down to listen to what the Mayor has to say.", "Mayor Wilkins: Um... I wanna thank you all for coming in the aftermath of such a tragic crime. Seeing you all here proves what a caring community Sunnydale is. Now, sure, we've had our share of misfortunes, but we're a good town with good people, and I know that none of us will rest easy until this horrible murder is solved. With that in mind... (picks up one of the signs) I make these words my pledge to you. (holds it up for everyone to see) 'Never again!' Now I ask you to give your attention to the woman who brought us all here tonight, Joyce Summers. He steps away as Joyce walks to the front of the room and steps up to the lectern.", "Joyce: Thank you. She considers her words for a moment before beginning.", "Joyce: Mr. Mayor, you're dead wrong. (people begin to murmur) This is *not* a good town. How many of us have, have lost someone who, who just disappeared? Or, or got skinned? Or suffered neck rupture? And how many of us have been too afraid to speak out? I-I was supposed to lead us in a moment of silence, but... silence is this town's disease. For too long we-we've been plagued by unnatural evils. This isn't our town anymore. It belongs to the monsters and, and the witches and the Slayers. Buffy looks at her mother in open-mouthed shock. She and Willow exchange a worried glance. Giles can't believe what he's hearing either.", "Joyce: I say it's time for the grownups to take Sunnydale back. I say we start by finding the people who did this and making them pay. The people in the crowd begin to applaud.", "Man: Hear, hear! Sheila claps her hands and looks around at the other people. A man nods his head in silent agreement. Buffy is too much in shock to do anything but stare at her mother.", "Cut to a panning shot of a Sunnydale residential area at night. The streets are quiet. Cut to Willow's house. The light from her room is clearly visible from the street. Cut inside. The camera is centered on a skull with a hole at the crest of the cranium. It is resting on a throw rug next to a burning candle. A hand reaches over the hole in the skull and drops in a short string of beads. The camera pans up to Michael, a witch draped in a black, hooded cloak. He folds his hands intertwining his fingers and glances up at another cloaked figure as it steps around him. The figure kneels to pick up the skull, and it's Amy. She stands back up and carries the skull around the rug to a position opposite Michael. The camera follows her, panning low across the rug, where there are other candles, cups of powders and potions, and a small cauldron. Amy sets down the skull and sits. She takes a cup of powder and hands it to a third figure, who takes it from her and pours the contents into the steaming liquid in the cauldron. The camera pans up to reveal the third figure as Willow, also cloaked in black. She stares silently down at the boiling mixture. Cut to a shot from above. The camera pulls up from the cauldron, taking in the array of things and the three witches around it, and continues until it's high enough to see the pattern in the center of the throw rug: a large triangle with a U-shaped symbol in the middle, its ends extending out of the triangle and bending in a sharp arc at the tips. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall at Sunnydale High. Michael has his locker open and checks his black makeup in the mirror stuck to the inside of the locker door. A group of guys comes up to him, and Roy, their leader, slams the locker door shut.", "Michael: Watch it.", "Roy: (smiling smugly) Oh, sorry. Did I make you smudge your eyeliner? Michael rolls his eyes and shakes his head.", "Roy: You gonna put a spell on me? Amy comes to Michael's defense.", "Amy: Hey, what is your problem? Roy grabs Michael by the shirt and slams him up against the lockers.", "Roy: Everyone knows he's into that voodoo witchcraft. (other students stare) I heard about those kids. People like him... (slams Michael again) gotta learn a lesson.", "Amy: And what about people like me?", "Roy: (threateningly) Get in my face and you'll find out. Buffy steps up behind Amy and gives him a smile. He notices her and suddenly thinks better of going any further. He lets Michael go and straightens his shirt a bit.", "Roy: No problem here. (nods to the other boys) We're walking. Buffy follows them for a few steps, then turns back to Michael and Amy.", "Buffy: You guys okay?", "Michael: Yeah. We're fine. (walks off)", "Amy: (smiles) Thanks, Buffy. (walks off) Buffy looks back down the hall to make sure the gang is still headed away. Giles comes around the corner, and Buffy starts toward him, but is headed off by Cordelia.", "Cordelia: You'll be one busy little Slayer, baby-sitting them.", "Buffy: I doubt they'll have any more trouble.", "Cordelia: I doubt your doubt. Everyone knows that witches killed those kids, and Amy is a witch. And Michael is whatever the boy of witch is, plus being the poster child for yuck.", "Buffy: Corde...", "Cordelia: (interrupts) If you're gonna hang with them, expect badness. 'Cause that's what you get when you hang with freaks and losers. Believe me, I know. She starts down the hall, but stops and turns back to Buffy.", "Cordelia: (smiling) That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys. (turns and leaves)", "Buffy: Yeah, I got that one. (loudly after her) Besides, witches didn't do it. (turns to Giles)", "Giles: (whispers) Actually, I think they may have. My research keeps bringing me back to European Wiccan covens.", "Buffy: You found the meaning of the symbol?", "Giles: (exhales) I'm pretty sure, yes. There's a, a piece of information I need that's in a book that Willow borrowed. Can you find it? He goes down the hall toward the library. Buffy looks around into the student lounge to see if Willow happens to be there. She sees Xander sitting on one of the couches and heads over to him.", "Xander: Buffy, hi.", "Buffy: Hey. Is Willow around?", "Xander: (exasperated) How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume because I'm here, she's here, that I somehow mysteriously know where she is.", "Buffy: (points) Those her books?", "Xander: Yeah. She's in the bathroom. (points) Buffy takes a step toward Willow's books, but stops as Xander continues.", "Xander: But the fact that I know that doesn't change that I have a genuine complaint here. Look. I'm getting sick of the judgment, the innuendoes. Is a man not innocent until proven guilty?", "Buffy: You *are* guilty. You got illicit smoochies, gonna have to pay the price. She tries again to go to Willow's books, but Xander isn't finished yet.", "Xander: But I'm talking about the future guilt. Look, everyone expects me to mess up again. Like Oz. I see how he is around me. You know, that steely gaze... that pointed silence.", "Buffy: 'Cause he's usually such a chatterbox. This time she just goes to Willow's books and lets Xander talk.", "Xander: No, but it's different now. It's more a verbal nonverbal. He speaks volumes with his eyes. Buffy finds the book in question and picks it up. Underneath it is a spiral notebook. On the exposed page is the triangle symbol. Buffy picks it up and stares. Willow comes out of the bathroom and over to her.", "Willow: Hey, Buff. What cha looking for? You wanna borrow something?", "Buffy: (holds up the notebook) What is this?", "Willow: (takes and closes it) A doodle. I do doodle. You, too. You do doodle, too.", "Buffy: This is a witch symbol.", "Willow: Okay, yeah, it is.", "Buffy: Willow...", "Willow: (defensively) What?", "Buffy: That symbol was on the murdered children. Before they can get any further into it, they are distracted by the sounds of many lockers suddenly being slammed shut. They can hear a man talking.", "Police Officer #3: Please step back. Stay away from the lockers. This is police business. Buffy, Willow and Xander exchange alarmed looks. They all head into the hall to see what's going on. Cut to the hall. A police officer is going from locker to locker opening them with a master key. At another locker another officer takes some books from a student.", "Police Officer #4: Hand them over, please. The books. Yet another officer takes a string of garlic cloves from a locker and sets it on a cart with a bunch of other things they've confiscated. Principal Snyder stands in the hall, gloating as the police continue their search. Several officers keep the students at bay. A detective leads a boy away. Amy has joined the group as they watch all the activity.", "Xander: Aw, man, it's Nazi Germany, and I've got Playboys in my locker!", "Snyder: (smugly) This is a glorious day for principals everywhere. No pathetic whining about students' rights. Just a long row of lockers and a man with a key. An officer finds a voodoo doll in a locker.", "Oz: (to Willow, quietly) They just took three kids away.", "Buffy: What are they looking for?", "Amy: Witch stuff.", "Willow: (very worried) What?", "Amy: They got my spells. I'm supposed to report to Snyder's office.", "Willow: Oh, my God. An officer looks through a girl's purse. Another officer steps up to Amy.", "Police Officer #3: Okay, Amy. You'll have to come with me.", "Police Officer #4: (to some students) Stay away from the locker.", "Willow: (to Buffy, sick with worry) I have stuff in my locker. Henbane, hellebore, mandrake root.", "Xander: (interrupts) Excuse me. Playboys. Can we turn the sympathy (jerks his head) this way? One of the officers has reached Cordelia's locker and pulls out a can of hairspray.", "Cordelia: Hey! Get your grubby custodial hands off that. (tries to approach)", "Police Officer #4: (pushes her back) Miss, you have to stay back. Miss, stay back.", "Cordelia: That hair spray costs $45, and it's imported!", "Willow: (begins to freak out) Oh, God, my locker's next. Buffy, I didn't do anything wrong. An officer pulls some plastic bags from Willow's locker.", "Willow: The, the symbol is harmless. I used it to make a protection spell for you, for your birthday. With Michael and Amy. Only, now it's broken, because you know about it, so happy birthday, and please, you have to believe me! Snyder walks over to the group with the bags in hand.", "Snyder: Ms. Rosenberg. My office. He holds up the bags of henbane and mandrake root. Willow stares back at him, eyes wide with worry and fear. Buffy discreetly walks in front of her and takes Giles' book from her arms. Willow starts down the halls in front of Snyder. Oz accompanies her with his hand on her back in a gesture of comfort.", "Cut to the library. A police officer kicks open the cage door and strides out into the room with a stack of books in his hands. He carries them over to the table and drops them unceremoniously into a box. Another officer comes down from the stacks with another armful of books. Buffy comes into the library as still another officer walks out carrying one of the boxes. She heads straight for Giles, who watches helplessly.", "Buffy: Giles.", "Giles: They're confiscating my books.", "Buffy: Giles, we need those books.", "Giles: Believe me, I tried to tell that to the nice man with the big gun. They move to the side to talk. Giles watches the activity around him, seething with anger.", "Buffy: No. There's something about the symbol that we're missing. Willow said she used it in a protection spell. It's harmless. Not a big bad. So then why would it turn up in a ritual sacrifice?", "Giles: I don't know. Ordinarily, I would say let's widen our research.", "Buffy: Using what? A-a dictionary and 'My Friend Flicka'? She sets the book on the counter as Giles steps back into the room.", "Giles: This is intolerable. Snyder's interfered before, but I, I won't take this from that twisted little homunculus. Snyder walks into the library holding a cup of coffee.", "Snyder: (smirking) I love the smell of desperate librarian in the morning.", "Giles: (approaches him angrily) You get out! And take your marauders with you.", "Snyder: (unaffected) Oh, my. So fierce. (walks past him) I suppose I should hear you out. Just how is, um... (takes a book from an officer, reads the title) 'Blood Rites and Sacrifices' appropriate material for a public school library? Chess club branching out? (sips his coffee)", "Giles: This is not over.", "Snyder: Oh, I should say it's just beginning. Fight it if you want. Just remember, lift a finger against me, and you'll have to answer to", "MOO.", "Buffy: (incredulous) Answer to MOO? Did that sentence just make some sense that I'm not in on?", "Snyder: 'Mothers Opposed to the Occult.' A powerful new group. (sips his coffee)", "Buffy: And who came up with that lame name?", "Snyder: (heads out) That would be the founder. I believe you call her", "'Mom'. Buffy can't believe it.", "Cut to Willow's house that night. She opens the door and goes in. In the living room she finds her mother looking over a bunch of her things taken from her room. Her mother notices her come in.", "Sheila: Oh, sit down, honey.", "Willow: (goes to the couch) Principal Snyder talk to you? (takes off her pack and sits)", "Sheila: Yes. He's quite concerned. (looks at an old picture)", "Willow: Mom, I know what this looks like, and I can totally...", "Sheila: (interrupts) Oh, you don't have to explain, honey. This isn't exactly a surprise. (turns over the picture)", "Willow: (fidgets, confused) Why not?", "Sheila: (shrugs) Oh, well, identification with mythical icons is perfectly typical of your age group. It's a, a classic adolescent response to the pressures of incipient adulthood. (set the picture down)", "Willow: Oh. Is that what it is?", "Sheila: (picks up a bag of herbs) Of course, I wish you could've identified with something a little less icky, (shrugs) but developmentally speaking...", "Willow: Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group.", "Sheila: Oh, honey... She puts down the bag and gets up to go over to her daughter.", "Sheila: I understand. (sits next to her)", "Willow: No, you don't. (faces her) Mom, this may be hard for you to accept, but I can do stuff. Nothing bad or dangerous, but I can do spells.", "Sheila: You think you can, and that's what concerns me. The delusions.", "Willow: Mom, how would you know what I can do? I mean, the last time we had a conversation over three minutes, it was about the patriarchal bias of the Mr. Rogers Show.", "Sheila: Well, (makes finger quotes) with King Friday lording it over all the lesser puppets...", "Willow: Mom, you're not paying attention.", "Sheila: And this is your way of trying to get it. Now, I have consulted with some of my colleagues, and they agree that this is a cry for discipline. You're grounded.", "Willow: (surprised) Grounded? This is the first time *ever* I've done something you don't like and I'm grounded? I'm supposed to mess up. I'm a teenager, remember?", "Sheila: You're upset, I hear you...", "Willow: (stands up) No, Ma, hear this! I'm a rebel! I'm having a rebellion!", "Sheila: (smiling) Willow, honey, you don't need to act out like this to prove your specialness.", "Willow: Mom, I'm not acting out. I'm a witch! I-I can make pencils float. And I can summon the four elements. Okay, two, but four soon. (her mother doesn't react) A-and I'm dating a musician.", "Sheila: (disgusted now) Oh, Willow! She gets up and goes back to the table of Willow's things. Willow follows her.", "Willow: (thickly sarcastic) I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them.", "Sheila: (tired of it) Willow, please!", "Willow: All bow before Satan!", "Sheila: (leaves the room) I'm not listening to this.", "Willow: (follows her) (heavy on the sarcasm) Prince of Night, I summon you. Come fill me with your black, naughty evil.", "Sheila: (loudly) That's enough! Is that clear? Now, you will go to your room and stay there until I say otherwise. And we're gonna make some changes. (shakes her head) I don't want you hanging out with those friends of yours. It's clear where this little obsession came from. You will not speak to Bunny Summers again.", "Cut to Buffy's house. Joyce is at the dining room table surrounded by posters of the two children. She has a MOO button pinned to her blouse. Her laptop is open and a phone and fax sit nearby. The place is set up like a command center. Behind her is a whiteboard full of statistics. She speaks sternly to Buffy.", "Joyce: I don't want you seeing that Willow anymore. I've spoken with her mother. I had no idea her forays into the occult had gone so far.", "Buffy: (in disbelief) You're the one who ordered the raid on the school today.", "Joyce: (makes light off it) Honey, they opened a few lockers.", "Buffy: Lockers. First syllable, 'lock'. They're supposed to be private. And they took all of Giles' books away.", "Joyce: He'll get most of them back. MOO just wants to weed out the offensive material. Everything else will be returned to Mr. Giles soon.", "Buffy: If we're gonna solve this, we need those books now.", "Joyce: (very seriously) Sweetie, those books have no place in a public school library. Especially now. Any student can waltz in there and get all sorts of ideas. (gets up and steps over to Buffy) Do you understand how that terrifies me?", "Buffy: Mom, I hate that these people scared you so much. And I-I know that you're just trying to help, but you have to let me handle this. It's what I do.", "Joyce: But is it really? I mean, you patrol, you slay... Evil pops up, you undo it. A-a-and that's great! But is Sunnydale getting any better? Are they running out of vampires?", "Buffy: I don't think that you run out of...", "Joyce: It's not your fault. You don't have a plan. You just react to things. I-i-it's bound to be kind of fruitless.", "Buffy: (taken aback) Okay, maybe I don't have a plan. Lord knows I don't have lapel buttons...", "Joyce: (exasperated) Buffy.", "Buffy: ...and maybe next time that the world is getting sucked into Hell, I won't be able to stop it because the Anti-Hell-Sucking Book isn't on the approved reading list!", "Joyce: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put down...", "Buffy: Yeah, well, you did. (shakes her head) It doesn't matter. I have to go. I have to go on one of my pointless patrols and react to some vampires. If that's alright with MOO. She turns around and heads for the door. Joyce just watches her go. Buffy steps back into the room.", "Buffy: And nice acronym, Mom. (leaves) Joyce turns around and goes back to her chair, shaking her head.", "Joyce: Just trying to make things better. As she walks past the table the dead boy and girl are suddenly sitting there looking up at her.", "Boy: You are.", "Girl: There's bad people out there. Joyce looks at them sadly.", "Boy: And we can't sleep.", "Girl: Not until you hurt them.", "Boy: The way they hurt us. Joyce nods, knowing what she has to do.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The playground where the children were found. The carousel is bedecked with candles and flowers and pictures of the children. Buffy quietly walks up to it. She pulls her arms to her body for warmth. To her right she notices Angel approaching.", "Angel: Hey.", "Buffy: Hi. They embrace each other lovingly for a long moment. Buffy looks up into his face.", "Buffy: How are you?", "Angel: I'm alright. I think I'm better than you right now. They both look over at the carousel.", "Angel: I heard about this. People are talking. People are even talking to *me*.", "Buffy: It's strange. People die in Sunnydale all the time. I've never seen anything like this. They both stroll over to a bench.", "Angel: They were children. Innocent. It makes a difference. They sit facing each other.", "Buffy: And Mr. Sanderson from the bank had it coming? (sighs) My mom... said some things to me about being the Slayer. That it's fruitless. (shakes her head) No fruit for Buffy.", "Angel: She's wrong.", "Buffy: Is she? Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger. Like that kid in the story, (gestures) the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.", "Angel: Dike. Buffy gives him a confused look. Angel smiles.", "Angel: It's another word for dam.", "Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.", "Angel: Buffy, you know, I'm still figuring things out. There's a lot I don't understand. But I do know it's important to keep fighting. I learned that from you.", "Buffy: But we never...", "Angel: We never win.", "Buffy: Not completely.", "Angel: We never will. That's not why we fight. We do it 'cause there's things worth fighting for. Those kids. Their parents.", "Buffy: (has an epiphany) Their parents.", "Angel: Look, I know it's not much.", "Buffy: No. No, it's a lot.", "Cut to the library. Giles is at the table trying to do some online research. He loses his connection.", "Giles: Session interrupted? (frustrated) Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad. And I'll say it again. (types) Xander and Oz walk up to him.", "Xander: At that point, I will become frightened.", "Oz: Take heart. We found your books. Giles looks at them hopefully as the two boys go to stand behind him.", "Xander: You can put the heart back. We can't get them. They're locked up in City Hall. (teases) 'Frisky Watcher's chat room.' Why, Giles.", "(slaps his shoulder)", "Buffy comes striding into the library. She goes straight over to Giles.", "Xander: Oh! Buffy, Oz and I found out...", "Buffy: (ignores him) What do we know about these kids?", "Giles: What?", "Buffy: Facts. Details.", "Xander: Well, they were, uh, found in the park.", "Buffy: No. Where did they go to school? Who were their parents? What are their names? Giles takes off his glasses. None of the guys has answers for any of her questions.", "Buffy: We know everything about their deaths, but we don't even know their names.", "Xander: Well, sure we do. Um, it's on the tip of my tongue.", "Oz: (realizes) That never came up. Ever.", "Buffy: And if no one knows who they are, where did these pictures come from?", "Giles: (puts his glasses back on, stares at the screen) I just assumed someone had the details. I never really... Well, that is strange.", "Buffy: We need to get some information.", "Giles: (gets up) Yeah, well, somebody else do it. This thing's locked me out.", "Xander: Well, if you wouldn't yell at it. (gets a look from Giles)", "Oz: (takes Giles' place) I can look 'round, but Willow would really know the sites we need.", "Buffy: That's great. She can't even come to the phone. The wrath of", "MOO.", "Oz: (types) Well, we don't need a phone.", "Cut to Willow's room. She's lying on her bed idly toying with her teddy bear. Then she hears her laptop beep. She goes over to her desk and brings it back to the bed. Cut to the library.", "Oz: Alright, we're linked. If anybody's ID'd the kids, she'll pull it up and feed it here.", "Cut to Willow's room. She surfs the web, looking for any leads. Cut to the library. Oz does his part on his end and brings up the pages as", "Willow finds them. Giles reads the text from the screen.", "Giles: Oh. 'Two Children Found Dead. Mysterious Mark...' No. No. These children were found near Omaha in 1949.", "Xander: Yeah, they ain't ours. Keep going. Before Oz can move on the accompanying image loads from the 'Net.", "Buffy: Wait.", "Cut to Willow's room. She sees the same image loading on her screen and looks at it in surprise.", "Willow: Those are...", "Cut to the library.", "Buffy: ...the same kids.", "Giles: Fifty years ago. Oz loads up the next page.", "Oz: '1899. Utah... Two Children... Rural Community Torn Apart by Suspicion.'", "Giles: (confused) A hundred years ago? How is this possible?", "Oz: There's no mention of who they were.", "Buffy: They've never been seen alive, just dead. A lot. The next page loads. This one is dated 1649 and has a hand drawing of the two children. An Instant Message window pops up with a note from Willow.", "Oz: Ah. There were more articles. Every fifty years. All the same.", "Giles: (intrigued) From as far back as 1649. Can I see that? Oz surrenders his place to Giles. He types a bit, then reads the German and translates.", "Giles: Written by a cleric from a village near the Black Forest. He... found the bodies himself. Two children... Greta Strauss, age six. (types more) Hans Strauss, eight.", "Xander: So they have names. That's new.", "Cut to Willow's room. Her mother opens the door, and is upset to find her daughter online.", "Sheila: Willow. (steps over to the bed) I thought I made myself clear. You're not minding me. She folds down the screen and pulls out the phone line.", "Willow: Mom...", "Sheila: I see what you're doing. You're challenging me. But I will not have you communicating with your cyber-coven or what have you.", "Willow: (sits up) Coven? What happened to me being delusional and acting out?", "Sheila: Well, that was before I talked in depth with Ms. Summers and her associates. It seems I've been rather close-minded.", "Willow: So, you believe me?", "Sheila: (sighs) I believe you, dear. Now all I can do is let you go with love. Willow doesn't like the sound of that.", "Willow: Let me go? What does that mean? Her mother turns and walks out of the room without saying a word, pulling the door closed behind her and locking it from the outside.", "Willow: Mom?", "Cut to the Library. Giles paces while Oz keeps looking for more information on the web.", "Giles: Uh, wait, wait a minute. Uh... Uh, there is a fringe theory held by a few folklorists that some regional stories have actual, um, very literal antecedents.", "Buffy: And in some language that's English?", "Oz: Fairy tales are real?", "Buffy: Hans and Gre... (her mind clicks) Hansel and Gretel?", "Xander: Wait. Hansel and Gretel? Breadcrumbs, ovens, gingerbread house?", "Giles: Of course! Well, it makes sense now.", "Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.", "Giles: (sits on the table) Some demons thrive by fostering hatred and, and, uh, persecution amongst the mortal animals. Not by, not by destroying men, but by watching men destroy each other. Now, they feed us our darkest fear and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes.", "Buffy: Hansel and Gretel run home to tell everyone about the mean old witch.", "Giles: And then she and probably dozens of others are persecuted by a righteous mob. It's happened all throughout history. It happened in Salem, not surprisingly.", "Xander: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm still spinning on this whole fairy tales are real thing. Giles stands and begins to pace again.", "Oz: So what do we do?", "Xander: I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go trade my cow in for some beans. He gets a confused look from Giles.", "Xander: No one else is seeing the funny here.", "Buffy: (goes to the counter) Giles, we need to talk to Mom. If she knows the truth, she can defuse the whole thing. (grabs her coat) Just then Michael comes running into the library with a slight limp. He's been beaten and bruised. He has a black eye and his face is bloody.", "Buffy: What happened? Xander and Oz come over to them.", "Michael: (out of breath) I was attacked!", "Xander: Officially not funny.", "Buffy: By whom?", "Michael: (hugging himself) My dad. His friends. They're taking people out of their homes. They're talking about a trial down at City Hall. They got Amy.", "Buffy: Michael, stay here and hide. Giles, we'll go find my mom. Oz gets Xander's attention.", "Oz: Willow! The two of them run out of the library. Giles grabs his coat.", "Michael: (calls after them) Tell Willow to get out of her house!", "Giles: (to Michael) Stay in my office. He and Buffy run out also. Michael goes to hide in Giles' office.", "Cut to Willow's room. She hears the door unlock and gets up from her bed. She runs over to the door as it opens.", "Willow: Mom, we really have to talk. There she sees her mother surrounded by several other adults.", "Sheila: It's time to go. Oh, and get your coat. It's chilly out.", "Willow: (very confused) Go? Go where?", "Sheila: (angrily) I said get your coat, witch! Willow slams the door on them. The adults start to pound at it. Willow desperately tries to keep them out.", "Cut to the living room at the Summers house. Several people are gathered there. Joyce interviews them about their activities.", "Joyce: Did you speak to the families on Sycamore Street?", "Woman: Yes, I did.", "Joyce: Great. She writes it down in her notebook. Buffy opens the front door and quickly enters. Giles is right behind her. Joyce looks up in surprise.", "Joyce: Buffy! Mr. Giles! Did something happen?", "Buffy: Mom, we need to talk to you. Now.", "Joyce: (puts down her notebook) Well, of course, honey. (to the others) Um, go on without me. (goes to Buffy)", "Buffy: No, we need to talk alone. They start into the dining room.", "Buffy: Look, there's more to this than... Suddenly Joyce holds a cloth up to Buffy's mouth and nose and two of the men there jump Giles from behind, wrestling him to the floor. Buffy quickly collapses to the floor, overcome by the fumes from the cloth.", "Joyce: (looking down at Buffy) You were right. (looks behind her) I-it was easy. There are the two children standing on the stairs. The boy is holding a bottle of chloroform in his hand.", "Gretel: I told you.", "Hansel: It gets even easier. Buffy isn't completely knocked out yet, and can hear the conversation.", "Gretel: But I'm still scared of the bad girls. Buffy's vision begins to blur.", "Hansel: You have to stop them. You have to make them go away. Forever. Buffy passes out. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The living room in the Rosenberg house. Oz and Xander run in.", "Oz: (yells) Willow! Oz runs for her room. Xander is right behind him. Cut to her room. The boys barge in and see that it's a shambles. It's clear there was quite a struggle. They waste no time running back out.", "Cut to City Hall. A crowd is gathered in a room. A few of them are bearing torches. They all calmly watch as two of them finish tying Willow and Amy to stakes.", "Sheila: Hold still. Be a good girl. Buffy is between Willow and Amy, unconscious and also tied to a stake. Piled all around them are the library books that MOO has deemed offensive, ready to burn in a glorious blaze.", "Willow: No! Why are you doing this to me? Mom?", "Sheila: There's no cure but the fire.", "Amy: (struggles against her ropes) Buffy! Wake up!", "Willow: This is crazy, Mom!", "Amy: Buffy! Buffy!", "Cut to the Summers house. Cordelia kneels over Giles and gives him a sharp slap to the face.", "Cordelia: Wake up! She slaps him two more times, and he begins to come out of it. She is about to slap again, when he suddenly reaches up and blocks her swing.", "Giles: Cordelia?", "Cordelia: Took you long enough to wake up. My hand hurts.", "Giles: Pity. (rubs his temples) Oh... Why are you here?", "Cordelia: Things are way out of control, Giles. First the thing at school, and then my mom confiscates all of my black clothes and scented candles. (Giles sits up) I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious... again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? (Giles finds his glasses) I swear, one of these times, you're gonna wake up in a coma.", "Giles: (puts his glasses on) Wake up in a... Oh, never mind. (struggles to his feet) We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel. He heads for the front door. Cordelia follows him out.", "Cordelia: Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened *before* I hit you.", "Cut to City Hall. Oz and Xander slam up against the doors and barge in. There they encounter four men guarding the doors to the room where the girls have been tied up. The two boys stop to face the men.", "Xander: What's with the grim? We're here to join you guys. They slowly approach the men, who eye them suspiciously.", "Xander: No, really. Why should you guys have all the fun? We wanna be part of the hate.", "Oz: Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right? The men lunge for the boys, who make a fast break and run down the hall.", "Cut to Buffy and Willow. Buffy begins to stir back to consciousness.", "Willow: Buffy! Buffy struggles against her bonds.", "Joyce: Good morning, sleepyhead.", "Buffy: (imploringly) Mom, you don't want this.", "Joyce: Since when does it matter what I want? I wanted a normal, happy daughter. Instead I got a Slayer. Sheila joins Joyce bearing a torch.", "Sheila: Torch.", "Joyce: (takes it) Thanks. This has been so trying. You've been such a champ.", "Sheila: Oh, you, too, Joyce.", "Joyce: We should stay close, have lunch.", "Sheila: Oh, I'd like that. How nice. Joyce bends down to set fire to the books.", "Amy: Oh, you can't be serious!", "Buffy: Mom, don't! Joyce touches the torch to the books, and they begin to burn. Others with torches set the books ablaze all around them.", "Amy: Alright. You wanna fry a witch? I'll give you a witch! Goddess Hecate, work thy will!", "Buffy: Uh-oh. Amy's eyes turn pitch black, and the energy of her spell begins to swirl around her.", "Amy: Before thee let the unclean thing crawl! She shivers as the spell's power increases around her, building ever greater strength. Finally, since she hasn't directed the spell at anyone else, it works on her. She is engulfed by a sudden burst of flame. People in the crowd scream as they watch. An instant later Amy's clothes are empty, and they and the ropes drop to the books below. Everyone stares in amazement. Buffy and Willow look over to see what happened to her. Then a rat comes crawling out of Amy's clothes. It scampers down the pile of books and scurries across the floor. The frightened adults jump out of its way. Buffy can only watch Amy go.", "Buffy: She couldn't do us first?", "Willow: (desperately) You've seen what we can do! Another step and you will all feel my power!", "Buffy: (quietly) What are you gonna do, float a pencil at 'em?", "Willow: It's a really big power! The people stare at them in shock and horror.", "Buffy: Yes! You will all be turned into vermin. And some of you will be fish! Yeah, you in the back will be fish!", "Man in the back: Maybe we should go. The children suddenly appear.", "Hansel: But you promised.", "Gretel: You have to kill the bad girls.", "Cut to Giles' car. He and Cordelia race to City Hall. Cordelia looks through the things Giles brought with them.", "Cordelia: (disgusted) I can't believe you had this stuff in your apartment. It smells foul.", "Giles: Shred the wolfsbane. That's the, uh, the leafy stuff. And then you can crush the satyrion root. (tries to remember a spell) Luften sie den something. Schlumer? Schluter?", "Cordelia: (crushing the roots) What are you muttering about?", "Giles: It's a part of an incantation. It's in German, and without my book...", "Cordelia: What does it mean?", "Giles: It's about, uh, lifting a veil. Um, it should, uh, make the demons appear in their true form, which with any luck, will, uh, negate their influence. And, uh, drop a toadstone into the mixture.", "Cordelia: (picks it up) This? (sniffs it) It doesn't look like a toad.", "Giles: No reason it should. It's from inside the toad.", "Cordelia: (quickly drops it in) I hate you.", "Cut to City Hall. Oz and Xander have lost the posse and are trying to find another way in. They each struggle with doors, but they are all locked.", "Oz: We gotta get inside. They look around for where to go next. Then they hear Willow cry out.", "Willow: No! Oh, God, help!", "Oz: Will?", "Xander: It sounds like she's right... above us? Oz hops up on a bench below a ventilation shaft grate. He bangs on it a couple of times and it gives way. He climbs in. Xander is right behind.", "Cut to a high view of the crowd from behind Buffy. The fires are getting bigger, but still haven't reached the girls. Hansel and Gretel stand at the front of the crowd as they watch the flames grow and advance.", "Gretel: They hurt us.", "Hansel: Burn them.", "Buffy: (desperately) Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math!", "Joyce: I'm sorry, Buffy.", "Buffy: Mom, look at me! You love me. You're not gonna be able to live with yourself if you do this!", "Joyce: You earned this. You toyed with unnatural forces. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't punish you?", "Cut to the hall outside. Giles and Cordelia barge into the hall. Giles hears the noises coming from inside and rushes over to the doors, but finds them locked. He looks around in desperation, and unexpectedly reaches into Cordelia's hair and pulls out a hairpin.", "Cordelia: Ouch! You got hair with that! Giles ignores her protests and kneels down in from of the doors. He carefully inserts the pin into the lock and begins to pick it.", "Cordelia: God, you really were the little youthful offender, weren't you? You must just look back on that and cringe.", "Giles: Shh! Cut inside. The flames are getting very close to Willow.", "Willow: Buffy, I can't take it! It's too hot!", "Buffy: I'm sorry, Will. If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened. Giles gets the door open, and comes in.", "Buffy: It wouldn't be... (sees Giles) Giles points Cordelia to a fire hose in the corner. She goes to it and smashes the glass with her elbow, holding up her hand to protect her face from the glass. The noise gets the crowd's attention.", "Joyce: Stop them! Cordelia pulls out the hose and turns it on, spraying the advancing crowd. Giles starts reciting his incantation in very bad, unintelligible German, muffled by the sound of the water spraying.", "Cordelia: (to the people) You like that? Huh? How 'bout some more! In spite of all the spraying, not very much water has gotten on the flames, and they have gotten dangerously close to Willow.", "Willow: Buffy, I'm on fire!", "Buffy: Cordelia, put out the fire!", "Cordelia: Oh, right. She turns the stream of water on the flames and quickly douses them.", "Cut to the ventilation shafts. Oz and Xander are still trying to find their way to the room.", "Cut to the room. Cordelia gets the last of the flames extinguished and turns off the water. Hansel and Gretel slowly walk up to them. Buffy and Willow pant in relief. The children keep closing in on Giles. Giles raises the bottle with his potion high and recites an incantation.", "Giles: Ihr Goetter, ruft Euch an! Verbergt Euch nicht hinter falschen Gesichtern!", "Translation: You gods, I call upon you! Do not hide behind false faces! He throws the bottle to the floor, smashing it in front of the children. The potion begins to steam around them. Hansel and Gretel look at each other and embrace. A moment later the two children morph into a single demon standing over seven feet (215cm) tall. Its ears are pointed and huge fangs jut from its lower jaw. Its skin is red and mottled and its hair is long and tangled.", "Cordelia: Okay, I think I liked the two little ones more than the one big one. Sheila and Joyce stare up at the demon in horror. The other people in the room all run out screaming. The demon turns to face Buffy. Out of her trance now, Joyce looks at the two girls tied up and helpless against him.", "Joyce: Oh, my God!", "Demon: Protect us! Kill the bad girls!", "Buffy: You know what? Not as convincing in that outfit. The demon roars and comes at her. Buffy struggles with her bonds, trying to get free. The ropes don't give, but the stake breaks. It's top heavy now, and forces Buffy to bend over so the tip is pointing at the demon, who can't stop his advance and impales himself through the neck. Sheila and Joyce look on in disgust. Buffy can't straighten herself back up with the weight of the demon's body at the other end of the stake, and so can't see the result of her unwitting maneuver.", "Buffy: Did I get it? Did I get it? Suddenly the ceiling gives way above them, and Oz and Xander come crashing down. The books break their fall. They look up weakly at Buffy and the dead demon.", "Oz: We're here to save you.", "Cut to Willow's house on another night. Cut into her room. She and Buffy have a number of bowls and jars of powders and potions laid out. Several candles are burning. Willow idly crushes some herbs in a bowl.", "Buffy: Your mom doesn't mind us doing this in the house?", "Willow: She doesn't know.", "Buffy: Business as usual?", "Willow: Hmm, sort of. She's doing that selective memory thing your mom used to be so good at.", "Buffy: She forgot everything?", "Willow: (ruefully) No. She remembered the part where I said I was dating a musician. She takes a pinch of the herbs she's crushed and sprinkles it onto a ceremonial iron plate set out between the girls.", "Willow: Oz has to come for dinner next week. So, that's sort of like taking an interest.", "Buffy: (looks down at their preparations and sighs) Okay, should we try this again?", "Willow: Let's do it. I think we got the mix of herbs right this time.", "Buffy: Okay. Ready? She lights a match and sets it to the mixture of herbs and roots on the plate while Willow recites her spell. It begins to burn, emitting purple smoke.", "Willow: Diana, Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart. Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw. Willow and Buffy both look over at Amy the rat. She gets up on her hind legs expectantly. Nothing happens, though, and she gets back down on all fours, seemingly disappointed. Buffy looks over at Willow.", "Buffy: Maybe we should get her one of those wheel thingies." ]

[ "Giles secretly prepares Buffy for the Cruciamentum, an ordeal the Watchers' Council requires every Slayer endure on her eighteenth birthday. Giles helps Buffy, thereby affecting his job as a watcher." ]

[ "Prologue: Angel's mansion. The lights are low. The logs in the fireplace are burning steadily. Candles are lit throughout the room. The camera pans across a blanket upon which are the remains of a cozy picnic dinner. Suddenly Buffy hits the floor in front of the fireplace hard on her back. She has her right knee pulled up to her chest. Angel crouches over her, holding himself up with his arms and grinning down at her. She uses her leg to throw Angel over her head. He flips backward and lands flat on his back. Buffy does a kick-up, bringing her up to a standing position, and spins around to face Angel as he gets to his feet. He hesitates for a moment before lunging at her with a wide punch that she easily ducks. She comes up behind him, and he turns around to face her. He tries a left-hand punch, but she inner form blocks it and flies into a half-spinning in-to-out crescent kick. Angel ducks it, but gets knocked off his feet when Buffy keeps on spinning downwards with a back leg sweep, sending him to the floor. She scrambles to grab a baguette from the blanket and rolls toward Angel. She comes up straddling him at the waist and plunges the long, thin loaf at his chest, stopping just short of penetration.", "Buffy: Gotcha!", "Angel: (defeated) Uhh! Right in the heart.", "Buffy: (smiling) Satisfied?", "Angel: I'm not sure that's the word.", "Buffy: (taken aback) Okay. She sets aside the baguette, stands up and takes a few steps away.", "Buffy: I didn't mean 'satisfied' like... He grabs the baguette and gets up also.", "Angel: No, I, I wasn't trying to...", "Buffy: (awkwardly) 'Cause we're not having satisfaction in the personal sense.", "Angel: Of course. (exhales)", "Buffy: (smiles) I should go. (walks past him) Giles is...", "Angel: (turns with her) ...is waiting for you. (Buffy faces him) I know.", "Buffy: (smiling) Thanks. For the workout.", "Angel: (nods) Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.", "Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.", "Angel: Oh, a thing. (trying to be cool) A date?", "Buffy: (nods) Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. (steps closer) Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.", "Angel: (smiles) Huh, your father. (frowns) It is your father, right? She gives him a big reassuring grin and nods.", "Buffy: He's taking me to the ice show. (Angel sighs with relief) Which should be big fun. I could use a little fun.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting at the table while Giles dangles a pink crystal in front of her. She plays with a long, thin, translucent one. There is a rather large collection of crystals of various colors, shapes and sizes on the table.", "Giles: This one?", "Buffy: Amethyst.", "Giles: Used for?", "Buffy: Breath mints? (looks up at him)", "Giles: (exasperated) Charm bags, money spells, and for cleansing one's aura.", "Buffy: Okay, so how do you know if one's aura's dirty? Somebody come by with a finger and write (gestures with her crystal) 'wash me' on it? Giles sets down his crystal, takes off his glasses and props his arms on the table, leaning toward Buffy.", "Giles: (seriously) Buffy, I'm aware of your distaste for studying vibratory stones, but since it is part of your training, I would appreciate your glib-free attention.", "Buffy: Sorry. It's just with Faith on one of her unannounced walkabouts, I feel like somebody should be patrolling.", "Giles: (looks over the crystals) Well, Faith is not interested in proper training, so I must rely on you to keep up with yours.", "Buffy: I hate being the good one.", "Giles: And as for patrolling, well, you'll be there soon enough. (suddenly curious) Why so anxious?", "Buffy: I guess it... (suddenly self-conscious about her crystal, quickly puts it down) I just have some... energy to burn.", "Giles: Well, in due time, (puts his glasses on) but, uh, for the present, (selects the largest blue crystal) if it's not entirely beyond your capabilities, (sets it in front of Buffy) try to concentrate. Buffy sighs and stares into the crystal.", "Cut to a playground later that night. A vampire front rolls down the slide and onto the ground. Buffy runs down the slide after him and stops next to him in a ready stance.", "Buffy: Wow, that was really funny-looking! (grins widely) Could you do it again?", "Vampire: I'll kill you for that. (jumps up)", "Buffy: For that? What were you trying to kill me for before? The vampire swings at her, but she ducks it and comes up behind him. He faces her just in time to take a roundhouse kick in the shoulder. He swings again, but she ducks it and punches him in the gut, then rises back up and backhand punches him in the head. Then she shoves him back a step so she can follow up with a half-spinning wheel kick, making the vampire stumble back and fall onto the carousel. She strides toward him.", "Buffy: Okay, so here's the deal. (raises her stake) Suddenly she is overcome by dizziness. She closes her eyes and steps back unsteadily, almost as though in pain. The vampire seizes the opening and rushes her, grabs her by the jacket, swings her around and throws her onto a picnic table. She rolls off of it and onto the ground. The vampire jumps on top of her, straddling her. She turns her head away in fright. He grabs her right wrist with one hand and with the other grabs her hand and twists it around, hurting her and making her cry out. Her stake is now pointed at her own chest, and the vampire uses his weight to slowly push it down at her.", "Vampire: Lemme know if I'm not doing this right. Her eyes go wide with terror as she struggles desperately with him. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The playground. The vampire straddling Buffy leans hard on the stake, slowly pushing it closer to Buffy's chest. She struggles hard to keep him at bay, but she's losing the battle. In a desperate attempt to get him off of her, she head butts the vampire. He is slightly stunned and stops pushing down on the stake, but remains on top of her. She then slaps him in the face hard and shoves him off of her. He rolls away and onto all fours. Buffy scrambles to get the stake, rolls back onto her back and braces the stake against her chest pointing upward. The vampire jumps to his feet and lunges angrily for her, landing on top of her and impaling himself. He explodes into a cloud of ashes. Buffy waits a moment before she raises herself into a sitting position. She brushes some of the dust from her jacket and takes a few breaths before standing up.", "Cut to Sunnydale High the next morning. Cut to the library. Buffy stands by the table concentrating on a target she set up against the railing of the stack level. She raises a knife and throws it. It glances off of the target and clinks as it hits the floor. Giles comes into the library with his briefcase and a cup of coffee and heads toward his office.", "Giles: Bit early in the day. (sips his coffee)", "Buffy: Giles, something's wrong.", "Giles: (stops) Wrong? He sees the target with a few knives stuck awkwardly into it. None of them are anywhere near the center.", "Giles: Ah. Perhaps you shouldn't... (Buffy throws a knife and misses) ...do that anymore. (sets down his briefcase)", "Buffy: On top of that, I got a bad case of the dizzies last night and almost let a vamp stake me. With my own stake! Giles sips his coffee again as Buffy throws yet another knife. It flies wild.", "Buffy: I'm way off my game. (Giles sips again) My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca. Giles, what's going on here?", "Giles: (sits) Well, perhaps you've got a bad flu bug or something.", "Buffy: No. No, not sick. I *can't* get sick. My dad's coming to take me to the ice show. We do it every year for my birthday. If I cancel, it's gonna break his heart.", "Giles: Well, just, um, take it easy for forty-eight hours. You know, forego patrolling until you feel yourself again. He gets up again and goes to get his briefcase. Buffy picks up a couple more knives from the table.", "Buffy: No. No, I just need to spend a little more time training. She throws one. This time it goes very wild and breaks one of the reading lamps. Giles didn't see it, but he sure heard it.", "Buffy: I'm gone! (turns and leaves)", "Giles: Thank you! He goes into his office without looking at the damage. Cut outside to the lunch tables. Oz, Xander, Willow and Buffy are eating.", "Xander: An ice show? A show performed on ice. And how old are we again?", "Willow: I went to Snoopy On Ice when I was little. My dad took me backstage and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock.", "Buffy: Look, I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb, girlie thing, but it's not. I mean, a lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners. And every year my dad buys me cotton candy and one of those souvenir programs that has all the pictures, and okay, it's a big, dumb, girlie thing, but I love it.", "Oz: It's not so girlie. Ice is cool! It's water, but it's not.", "Willow: I think it's sweet you and your dad have a tradition. Especially now that he's not around so much. Ixnay on the caramel corn, though, if you go backstage. Buffy nods in agreement.", "Xander: We're still talking party, right? I mean, some of us still love to relish celebrating in the birth of the Buff.", "Buffy: I dunno. I think it might be time to put a moratorium on parties in my honor. They tend to go badly. Monsters crash. People die.", "Willow: But eighteen is a *big* one, Buffy. I mean, you can vote now. You can be drafted. (smiles) You can vote not to be drafted.", "Buffy: I think I'll choose to celebrate this one with quiet reflection.", "Xander: Where is it written that quiet reflection can't be combined with cake and funny hats?", "Cut to the kitchen at Buffy's house. A large birthday floral arrangement is on the island, complete with helium balloon and card. The tickets to the ice show are attached to the card. Joyce is at the stove making dinner. She hears the front door close.", "Joyce: Buffy?", "Buffy: Present. She comes into the kitchen, sees the flowers and smiles.", "Buffy: Ooo, present!", "Joyce: Uh, they're not. They're from your father. Buffy takes the card and tickets from the arrangement and looks at them. Her expression shows deep disappointment.", "Joyce: His, uh, quarterly projections are unraveling and he can't afford to take off right now. He promises to make it up to you. It's all right there in the letter. Buffy sadly folds up the tickets and the card without even opening it.", "Joyce: I-if you want, I could ask somebody to cover for me at the gallery. I-I mean, if you want me to take you.", "Buffy: No. No, that's not necessary. I-I was just thinking it might be nice to have a quiet birthday.", "Cut to an abandoned boardinghouse. The sign outside reads \"Sunnydale Arms, Rooms for Let, Breakfast Included, Inquire Within.\" Cut inside. The place is dark and musty. A few of the wall lamps are lit and there's a fire going in the fireplace. It's clear, though, that no one has lived here for years. The furniture is torn and the books on the shelves are strewn about. A man is bricking shut one of the windows. Quentin Travers, a member of the Watcher's Council, observes his progress. He turns as another man comes down the stairs.", "Quentin: How much longer, Hobson?", "Hobson: Five, maybe six hours, sir. They slowly walk into the next room.", "Quentin: Once you finish, you and Blair can get some rest. But sleep in shifts. He and Hobson stop and look across the room. There stands a tall wooden crate with a heavy lock on it.", "Quentin: We're getting very close. The Slayer's preparation is nearly complete.", "Cut to the library. Giles gets out the crystals again and carefully lays them out on the table. Buffy sits and watches him.", "Buffy: You know, it's not just cartoon characters. They do pieces from operas and ballets. Brian Boitano, doing Carmen, is a life changer. Oh, he doesn't actually play Carmen, but a lot of sophisticated people go.", "Giles: (absently) Yes, I think we should start with the grounding crystal again. He sets the largest blue crystal on the table in front of Buffy.", "Buffy: You know, it's usually something that families do together. He absently sets the box aside.", "Giles: Now, look very carefully for the tiny flaw at its core.", "Buffy: I-if someone were free, they'd take their daughters or their student... or their Slayer. (looks up at him hopefully)", "Giles: Hmm? Yes, but, Buffy, I think we should concentrate now. Now, look for the flaw at its center. He leans against the table. Buffy gives in and starts to concentrate on the crystal. At its center is a small stake-shaped flaw in an otherwise nearly clear blue crystal. Faint wind chimes can be heard as Buffy slowly goes into a trance. Giles leans over further and looks into her face.", "Giles: Buffy? Satisfied that she is caught in the crystal's thrall, he pulls a small case from his briefcase, sets it on the table and opens it. Inside is a hypodermic needle, a test tube full of a clear yellow liquid and an alcohol-soaked gauze pad. Keeping a careful eye on Buffy, he takes the pad and leans toward her. He takes her arm, pushes up her sleeve and wipes the pad on a spot near the inside of her elbow. He fills the syringe, taps it to get any air bubbles to the tip and pushes on the plunger until the fluid begins to squirt out. Again he checks to be sure Buffy is under, then he takes her arm in one hand and with the other sticks in the needle. Slowly he depresses the plunger, all the while keeping an eye on his charge. She doesn't stir in the least. He pulls the needle back out. Buffy does not bleed from the site. Quickly he puts everything away. Buffy remains in the crystal's thrall. Giles sits on the table, trying to be casual, and waves his hand between Buffy and the crystal. She comes out of her trance and looks up at him.", "Buffy: Oh, I'm sorry. (rubs her temples) Did I zone out on you? It's just... I'm nursing that flu bug.", "Giles: It's best to take care of that. Perhaps we should, um...", "Buffy: ...call it a night. Yeah, (exhales) that's a good idea. Thanks. She gets up weakly and groans as she walks out of the library. Giles smiles to himself.", "Giles: Good night. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The quad at Sunnydale High on the next day. Buffy and Willow come walking from the stairs.", "Buffy: So, how's it going with Amy the rat?", "Willow: (excited) Good! She loves her new exercise wheel. She runs around, her nose wiggles...", "Buffy: (interrupts) I-I meant, how's it going changing her back into a human being?", "Willow: Oh. Still working on it. But I just got her the cutest little bell... They hear a boy raising his voice and look in his direction. He's talking to Cordelia.", "Boy: (upset) You don't do that to me! I waited for you at the Bronze all night!", "Cordelia: And the big deal is?", "Boy: You made me look like some kind of dork in front of my posse! He grabs her arm. Cordelia is offended, and slaps his arm away.", "Cordelia: First of all, 'posse'? Passe'! Second of all, anyone with a teaspoon of brains knows not to take my flirting seriously. Especially with my extenuating circumstances.", "Boy: (confused) What circumstances?", "Cordelia: Rebound! Look it up! She tries to leave, but he grabs her by both shoulders and pushes her against a tree.", "Boy: Hey! I'm not through here. Buffy immediately moves in and grabs the boy's arm.", "Buffy: Oh, I beg to differ. She tries to yank at it, but finds she has absolutely no strength. He scoffs at her and nudges her away rather hard. Buffy falls backward, stumbling onto a bench and rolls off onto the ground. Cordelia is incensed, and shoves him away from her.", "Cordelia: What is wrong with you?", "Boy: Ow. She starts pounding him in the chest with girlie punches. He quickly backs away, but Cordelia keeps up with him and won't let up.", "Boy: God, the chick started it! Willow gets down to her knees to help Buffy up.", "Willow: (very concerned) Are you okay? Buffy slowly sits up, very confused.", "Cut to the hall. Giles is heading toward the library with a stack of magazines. Buffy catches up with him.", "Buffy: Okay, I just got swatted down by some no-neck and rescued by Cordelia. What the hell is happening?", "Giles: I'm sure it'll sort itself out.", "Buffy: (desperate to know) You're not getting the big picture here. I-I have *no* strength. I have *no* coordination. I throw knives like...", "Giles: (calmly) A girl?", "Buffy: (confused by his reaction) Like I'm not the Slayer.", "Giles: Look, Buffy, I, I, I assure you, um... given time... w-w-we'll get to the bottom of, of whatever's causing this, um... anomaly.", "Buffy: Promise me.", "Giles: Yes. I give you my word. He heads down the hall for his library.", "Quentin: You're having doubts. Cut inside the boardinghouse. He and Giles are sharing a cup of tea.", "Quentin: Cruciamentum is not easy... for Slayer or Watcher. But it's been done this way for a dozen centuries. Whenever a Slayer turns eighteen. It's a time-honored rite of passage.", "Giles: It's an archaic exercise in cruelty. To lock her in this... tomb... weakened, defenseless. (looks at the crate behind him) And to unleash *that* on her. He stares at the crate in the other room for a long moment before turning back to Quentin.", "Giles: If any one of the Council still had actual contact with a Slayer, they would see, but I'm the one in the thick of it.", "Quentin: Which is why you're not qualified to make this decision. You're too close.", "Giles: That's not true.", "Quentin: A Slayer is not just physical prowess. She must have cunning, imagination, a confidence derived from self-reliance. And believe me, once this is all over, your Buffy will be stronger for it.", "Giles: Or she'll be dead for it.", "Cut to later. Hobson is working on the front door. He stops for a moment when Quentin and Giles approach and lets them go through.", "Quentin: Rupert, if this girl is everything you say, then you've nothing to worry about. Giles isn't so sure. He puts on his glasses and leaves without saying a word.", "Hobson: (to Quentin) Uh, sir, if you can spare me for a short spell, I'll need to make a run to the hardware store. I just need some... He is interrupted by loud screaming coming from inside the crate. Blair hears it, too, and comes in from another room.", "Quentin: Take care of it. The two men reluctantly go to the crate. Quentin slowly follows them. Whatever's inside the crate keeps screaming its head off. Cut to the crate. Blair opens the lock and removes it. He pulls open the latch and jerks open the crate. Inside is a very angry vampire secured in a straightjacket and strapped to the back of the crate with a metal band across his forehead. The two men nervously stare at the vampire.", "Quentin: (impatient) Come on. Come on. Blair steps over to a table and pulls two pills from a bottle. He puts them on a spoon that's been tied to a long bar. Hobson stands behind him with a glass of water also on the end of a long bar. Blair reaches the spoon up to the vampire's mouth.", "Blair: Kralik, your pills. Open your mouth. The vampire opens its mouth just enough, and Blair nudges the spoon in, turning it to drop the pills in, then quickly retreats. Hobson steps up with the glass of water and angles it for Kralik to drink. He gulps deeply. Some of the water spills to the sides of his mouth.", "Quentin: That's enough. Close it up. Hobson backs away, and Blair slams the crate shut.", "Cut to the library. The gang is at the table doing research into Buffy's condition.", "Willow: Aha! A curse on Slayers. Buffy looks up. Willow reads again.", "Willow: Oh, no. Wait. I-it's lawyers.", "Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, (ahem) Slayer kryptonite.", "Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills.", "Xander: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers.", "Oz: (thinks) Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird...", "Buffy: (impatiently) Guys? Reality? She drops her book onto the table, gets up and walks toward the stairs. Willow gets up and follows.", "Willow: Buffy. (they stop) I know you are *definitely*, without a doubt, gonna get your powers back.", "Buffy: Thanks, Will. (starts up to the stacks)", "Willow: But what if you don't?", "Buffy: (stops) Okay... (sighs) if I don't get my powers back, then I don't. I'll deal. (considers) And there's a whole lotta good sides to it.", "Willow: Actually, this could open up so many... Giles comes into the library. Buffy runs up to him.", "Buffy: Giles. Did you find anything?", "Giles: (apologetically) Uh, no. Not yet.", "Cut to the boardinghouse. Hobson comes into the room where he and Blair have set up their cots. He has just sat down on his when Kralik begins to thrash and scream in his crate. Blair wakes and sits bolt upright. They both take deep breaths when they realize he's not loose.", "Hobson: It's your shift. Blair gets up and goes to take care of their charge, pulling the door to their room closed behind him as Hobson lies down for a rest.", "Cut to the crate. Blair pulls it open. Kralik is still tied up inside.", "Kralik: Pills!", "Blair: (nervously) Yes. He looks over at the pill bottle and sees that there's no water in the glass. He takes it and quickly goes to the kitchen. Kralik takes a deep breath and strains against the straightjacket, screaming very loudly. The seam on his right shoulder tears. In the kitchen Blair fills the glass and casts a worried look behind him.", "Blair: It's coming! He turns off the water and runs back to the crate. Kralik lifts his shoulder to make the tear in the seam less conspicuous.", "Kralik: Pills! Blair sets down the water, gets two pills from the bottle and puts them on the spoon. He holds it up to Kralik's mouth as the vampire continues to groan loudly, crushing his eyelids shut and panting in apparent pain.", "Blair: Take them.", "Kralik: Pills!", "Blair: They're right in front of you.", "Kralik: (sniffs) Where? (sniffs)", "Blair: Here!", "Kralik: I can't see... can't... (sticks out his tongue) can't reach it. Blair takes a careful step closer.", "Blair: Open your eyes. Kralik suddenly thrusts out his arm and grabs Blair by the neck, lifting him from the floor and choking him.", "Kralik: Shh. Everything's okay now.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. The fire is going nicely. The camera pulls back to show Buffy and Angel sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. Buffy unwraps a book, Angel's birthday gift to her. She opens it and leafs through it. It's a copy of \"Sonnets from the Portuguese\", classic love poems by Elizabeth Barrett Browning to her husband, Robert Browning. On the title page Angel has written simply \"Always\".", "Buffy: (softly) Thank you. That's beautiful.", "Angel: You really like it?", "Buffy: Of course I do. It's sweet and thoughtful and... full of neat words to learn and say like 'wilt' and 'henceforth'.", "Angel: Then why'd you seem more excited last year when you got a severed arm in a box?", "Buffy: I'm sorry. Uh, it's just suddenly there's this chance that my calling's a wrong number, and... it's just freaking me out a little.", "Angel: That's understandable.", "Buffy: Angel, what if I have lost my power?", "Angel: You lived a long time without it. You can do it again.", "Buffy: I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.", "Angel: Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried. Buffy raises her eyebrows and gets up.", "Buffy: Don't be so sure. She steps over to a table.", "Buffy: Before I was the Slayer, I was... (leans on the table) Well, I, I don't wanna say shallow, but... Let's say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we'll just call her Spordelia, looked like a classical philosopher next to me. Angel, if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?", "Angel: (quietly) I saw you before you became the Slayer.", "Buffy: (confused) What?", "Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and... and I loved you.", "Buffy: Why?", "Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. (gets up) You held it before you for everyone to see. (walks to her) And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own. Buffy looks up into his eyes for a long moment, then leans into him, and they embrace, holding each other close.", "Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.", "Angel: (grimacing) I was just thinking that, too.", "Cut to the boardinghouse. Although Kralik has his arm free, he's still tied too well to free himself from the straightjacket. No matter, though, seeing as Blair is lying in front of him, soon to become a vampire. Kralik idly hums and licks his fingers while he waits for his new friend to wake. He watches as Blair's face spontaneously morphs into a vampire's. Blair stirs, turns his head to see where the humming is coming from and slowly gets to his feet.", "Kralik: Ah, you're up. I was afraid I drained you too much. I do that sometimes. Blair growls at Kralik, but knows what he must do. He looks around for the ax he knows should be there.", "Kralik: Ever have a tune you can't get outta your head? It keeps playing over and over and over? Drives me nuts. Blair brings the ax over and swings it at the metal strap where it's attached to the crate on the left side of Kralik's head, then on the right. The strap falls to the floor, and Kralik steps out.", "Kralik: Ahh. Thank you. He grunts as he pulls the straightjacket off his other arm and lets it fall.", "Kralik: Ohh. That... is much better. He goes over to his pill bottle and pops a couple into his mouth, then picks up the glass of water and steps back over to Blair.", "Kralik: Mmm. He takes a good swallow of the water.", "Kralik: It's a game, you know. We're not gonna play by their rules, but... that doesn't mean we're not gonna play. He smiles broadly and downs the rest of the water.", "Kralik: Mmm. (points at Hobson's room) Why don't you call your friend in? We'll discuss it over dinner.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The boardinghouse later that night. Giles opens the door and takes a tentative look inside. Everything seems quiet.", "Giles: Quentin? He steps in and closes the door, still wary of the place. He goes into the sitting room. Nothing seems amiss. He walks back out and down the hall, looking up the stairs. Still all seems well, but it's just too quiet. He takes a few steps up to the landing.", "Giles: Hello? Quentin? Hob... He notices that the stair railing feels clammy, and looks at his hand. It's covered with fresh blood. From the landing he looks into the other room and sees the closed crate standing there. He rushes down the stairs and looks for a weapon. He grabs one of the stair rail supports and breaks it out with the heel of his other hand. He heads straight for the crate, intending to dust whatever's inside, but finds it empty. Alarmed, he looks around and then down at the floor. There he sees tracks of blood leading into the kitchen. He follows them, ready for anything. Holding his makeshift stake up and ready, he grabs the doorknob and swings it open, but nothing is there to meet him. He searches for the light switch, first on one side, then the other, and flips it on when he finds it. He sees what's left of Hobson lying on the table. The camera only shows his arm, but the mauling Hobson received must have been horrific because Giles immediately drops the stake, backs out of the kitchen, puts his hand to his mouth and does his best not to vomit. Quickly he regains his composure and makes tracks out of the house.", "Cut to the streets. Buffy is slowly walking home holding her coat closed and hugging her book. She watches as a car passes, and then steps into the street to cross it. Near the other side of the street she walks past a couple of guys just hanging out by a car. They see her pass by and check her out.", "Man: (to the other) Let's find out. (to Buffy's back) Hey, sweet girl! (Buffy stops cold) How much for a lap dance for me and my buddy? They laugh to themselves. Buffy begins to turn around, but thinks better of taking them on in her weakened state. She continues along the street. The men make no move to follow her.", "Buffy: (wryly) Walk me home, Angel. No, I'm fine. I can take care of myself. She rounds a corner and hears humming, but doesn't see anyone around. She stops and looks behind her, but sees no one there either.", "Buffy: Hummers. Big turnoff. I like guys that can remember the lyrics. She starts to walk again as she turns back, and runs right into Kralik. He holds onto her by the arms while she tries to pull away.", "Kralik: You know, I wish I could, but my mind just isn't what it used to be.", "Buffy: Let me go. She pulls harder, and he yanks her back.", "Kralik: (playfully) You didn't say please! She starts to struggle in earnest and call for help.", "Buffy: HELP ME! SOMEBODY, PLEASE! She gets her left arm loose, pulls her right arm out of her jacket and lets her left arm slip out of the other sleeve as she begins to run. Blair heads her off and roars at her. She screams and begins to run back the other way, dodging Kralik, who makes no move to give chase. He has what he wants. Blair, however, continues to run after her.", "Buffy: HELP ME, PLEASE! SOMEBODY!", "Cut to an alley behind a row of houses. She runs along it.", "Buffy: SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP ME! At the far end of the alley she encounters a fence. She tries to climb it, but doesn't have the strength. She drops back down, checks behind her and sees Blair coming. She looks down and sees that the fence has been cut at the base, and so quickly gets down and crawls through it. Blair catches up and grabs her by the leg. She keeps crawling, making him lose his balance and grip, but he scrambles to grab her foot. He can't get a good hold of it, though, and Buffy slips through and begins to run. Blair gets down and starts to squeeze himself through the fence. Buffy runs into the street and tries to flag down a car.", "Buffy: STOP! PLEASE, I NEED HELP! The driver honks his horn and swerves sharply to get around her, but he just keeps going.", "Buffy: PLEASE, STOP! She looks over at Blair, who couldn't get through the hole, and sees him climbing the fence instead. Another car honks at her and screeches around her. A third car comes in the other direction. Buffy thinks she recognizes it. She does when it stops. Giles pushes open the passenger- side door.", "Giles: Hurry! She jumps in and Giles guns it just as Blair gets there. Blair grabs the door and gets his feet up just inside the car. Buffy hits him repeatedly as they speed along, and eventually Blair can't hold on any longer. He drops out of the car and rolls over a few times in the street before coming to a stop face down. Back by the fence Kralik steps into the street and watches them go.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting at the table wrapped in a blanket.", "Buffy: When I hit him, it felt like my arm was broken, it hurt so much. I can't be just a person. I can't be helpless like that. Giles, please, we have to figure out what's happening to me. Giles opens his briefcase and pulls out the case with the syringe. He opens it, lets out a deep sigh and sets it in front of her.", "Giles: (with a shaky voice) It's an organic compound... of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressers. The effect is temporary. You'll be yourself again in a few days. Buffy can't believe her ears or eyes. She reaches out to the tube of liquid and touches it.", "Buffy: You?", "Giles: (shaky) It's a test, Buffy. (takes off his glasses) It's given to the Slayer once she... uh, well, if she reaches her eighteenth birthday. (swallows hard) The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. (paces toward his office) The vampire you were to face... has escaped. (stops at the door facing away) His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane. When a vamp... Buffy stands up and throws the syringe case at him, but misses, hitting the wall beside him.", "Buffy: (sobbing angrily) You b*st*rd. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you didn't say a word!", "Giles: (faces her) I wanted to.", "Buffy: (sobs) Liar.", "Giles: In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council. Buffy runs her hands through her hair in disbelief of her betrayal.", "Giles: My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.", "Buffy: (crying and shaking her head) I can't... I can't hear this.", "Giles: Buffy, please.", "Buffy: (looks him in the face) Who are you? (lowers her hands) How could you do this to me?", "Giles: I am deeply sorry, Buffy, (reaches out to her) and you have to understand... She backs away and warns him off with her hand.", "Buffy: (shaking with hatred) If you touch me, I'll kill you. Giles lowers his hand.", "Giles: (imploringly) You have to listen to me. Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated. You will be safe now, I promise you. Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik... and to win back your trust...", "Buffy: (interrupts, sobbing) You stuck a needle in me. You poisoned me! Behind them Cordelia walks into the library.", "Cordelia: What's going on? She sees Buffy's tear-streaked face.", "Cordelia: Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother. Buffy starts to walk out of the library.", "Giles: (desperately) You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe. Buffy stops. Cordelia doesn't understand and looks at her.", "Buffy: (facing away) I don't know you.", "Cordelia: (faces Giles) Did something take her memory? (turns to Buffy) He's Giles. Giiillles. (grins) He hangs out here a lot. Buffy turns around.", "Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home?", "Cordelia: (surprised) Of course. Buffy turns and walks out.", "Cordelia: (to Giles) But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note. She follows Buffy out of the library.", "Cut to the Summers' dining room. Joyce is doing her bills. She hears a noise outside and looks up. She gets up from the table. Cut outside. Joyce opens the door and steps out. She looks over to the side of the porch.", "Joyce: Buffy? There she sees a figure lying on the floor shrouded in Buffy's coat. She reaches down and touches the figure's back. It rolls over, and Kralik looks up at her. She steps back in fright.", "Kralik: (grinning horribly) Mother. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at the Summers house. Buffy opens the door and comes in. The bouquet from her father is still on the island. She pushes it to the end and lets it drop into the wastebasket. She walks through the dining room and sees the front door standing open. Taped to the doorframe is a Polaroid photo. She strides over to it and pulls it down to look at it. It's of her mother with Kralik behind her holding her by the neck. She turns the picture over, and on the back is written \"come\".", "Cut to her room. She has a heavy leather bag open on her bed. She pulls a knife and several stakes from her trunk and drops them into the bag. At her desk she opens the top left drawer with her Slayer stuff and pulls out a bottle of Holy Water. This she drops into the pocket of her coveralls. She closes the bag and heaves it up by the strap and onto her shoulder. It's very heavy, and she has to lean to the side quite a bit to counterbalance it as she walks out of her room.", "Cut to the basement of the boardinghouse. Joyce is tied to a chair and gagged.", "Kralik: Mother. She looks toward his voice, and he snaps another Polaroid of her.", "Kralik: May I call you Mother? (walks in front of her) My own mother was a person with no self-respect of her own, so she tried to take mine. Joyce turns her head away from him, and he takes another picture. She strains against the ropes around her arm, but they are too tight.", "Kralik: Ten years old, she had the scissors. You wouldn't believe what she took with those. (takes another pic) But she's dead to me now. (takes two more) Mostly (chuckles) because I killed and ate her, but also because I know I won't be alone much longer. (kneels by Joyce) I'll have your daughter. I won't kill her; I'll just make her like me. Different. She'll go to sleep, and when she wakes up, (gets into her face) your face will be the first thing she eats. Joyce's eyes are wide with terror. Kralik stops to consider.", "Kralik: I have a problem with mothers. (chuckles) I'm aware of that.", "Cut to the front door of the boardinghouse. It opens quietly, and Buffy looks in. She has her crossbow up and ready. The front rooms are empty and quiet, so she steps in. She takes one of her stakes and puts it down between the door and the frame to keep it open. Again she raises her bow and looks around the front rooms. She steps in further and looks through the archway into the sitting room. The fire is going there. She walks once around the room and then sets her bag down on the old couch. She continues to explore the area quietly, her fear and nervousness evident in her face. She approaches a door and cautiously takes hold of the knob. Quickly she twists it and pulls the door open, only to find that it's been bricked up on the other side. She closes it again. Cut outside. A hand reaches down and picks up the stake she left there. The door closes and the latch echoes loudly. Cut inside. Buffy spins around to face the noise. Cut outside. The camera pans from the hand up to Blair's face.", "Cut to Giles' office. He's on the phone trying to reach Quentin. The other end of the line keeps ringing. Just then Quentin appears at the door and walks in. Giles sees him and sets the phone back down in its cradle.", "Giles: I was just trying to reach you.", "Quentin: I was on watch over by the boardinghouse. (paces away)", "Giles: Then you know what's happened.", "Quentin: Yes.", "Giles: (angrily) He's killed Hobson and made Blair one of his own. Your perfectly controlled test seems to have spun rather impressively out of control, don't you think? Quentin turns and gives him a long look, then paces back the other way to the teapot.", "Quentin: It changes nothing. (lifts the lid from the teapot)", "Giles: Well, then, allow me. (leans on his desk) I've told Buffy everything.", "Quentin: (looks up from the teapot) That is in direct opposition to the Council's orders. (sets the lid back down)", "Giles: Yes. (crosses his arms) Interestingly, I don't give a rat's ass about the Council's orders. There will be no test.", "Quentin: (pours a cup of tea) The test has already begun. Your Slayer entered the field of play about ten minutes ago.", "Giles: (stands up, surprised) Why?", "Quentin: I don't know. I returned there just as she entered. Giles grabs his keys from his desk and starts out of the office. Quentin tries to stop him.", "Quentin: Now Giles, we've no business... Giles grabs him by the coat and shoves him up against the doorframe.", "Giles: This is *not* business! He lets the other man go and strides out of the library.", "Cut to the sitting room in the boardinghouse. Buffy slowly moves out of it back into the foyer. She looks around before entering it, then goes back over to the door to check it. It's locked shut. She yanks at it several times, but she can't budge it. Blair comes up behind her and growls. Buffy spins around and aims the crossbow at him. She pulls the trigger, but the bolt flies right past his face. Blair grabs the bow, jerks it out of her hands and throws it down. He grabs her by the throat and begins to choke her. Buffy grabs onto his arm and stomps on his foot. Blair lets go. She shoves him aside and runs into the sitting room. She opens her bag and tries to reach in, but Blair reaches for her over the back of the couch. Buffy jumps away and runs to the far wall by the bookcase. Blair moves to follow, but Buffy pushes the bookcase over on top of him. He struggles underneath it, but can't lift it off. Buffy climbs over it and goes to her bag, opens it and reaches in. Blair reaches out from under the bookcase and grabs her ankle. Buffy screams and looks around for a weapon. She spies the andirons, grabs the tongs and starts to whale on Blair's arm. She has to hit him several times before he finally lets go. Buffy grabs her bag and runs out of the room. She stops in the hallway and looks around. Somewhere Kralik is watching her, and he taunts her.", "Kralik: Hide and seeeek... She looks all around her.", "Kralik: Hide and seek! The hall, the stairs and the adjacent room are empty. There she sees Kralik's crate. The crate door is closed and looks locked. She approaches it, and it suddenly swings opens. Kralik jumps out and grabs her by the throat. Buffy gasps in fright, but doesn't struggle.", "Kralik: Why did you come to the dark of the woods? He yanks her bag out of her hands and looks into it. Inside is a smaller bow, several stakes and a few knives.", "Kralik: To bring all these sweets to grandmother's house? He drops the bag and pulls her closer. Buffy surprises him by holding up a cross. He leaps back from her in fear. She holds it out at arm's length, shaking nervously. Kralik stares at her for a while, smiling evilly, then suddenly grabs her arm and pulls it and the cross into his chest. There he rubs it around and laughs as it burns against his skin.", "Kralik: Oh-oh, no, no. Just a little lower. (nudges it down) Right... (inhales in ecstasy) Oh, yes. Yes. Oh. (gasps) Oooh! Thank you very much. Buffy lets go of the cross and runs in terror. Kralik just smiles and watches her run. She runs into the kitchen and locks the door. Hobson's remains are still there. She notices the body but doesn't have time to really look at it before she is distracted by Kralik pounding on the door. She runs to the counter and rifles through the drawers looking for anything she can use. She finds nothing, but then looks up when the pounding stops. Her breathing is shallow and panting with fear. She looks around again, but can't find anything of use. Slowly she steps back to the door and quietly opens it. The coast is clear, so she comes into the hall. She constantly looks around as she makes her way toward the stairs. When she's almost there she makes a dash for them and starts to run up. Kralik punches his arm through the railing and trips her, making her fall and cut her forehead against the steps. He grabs her leg and pulls her down a ways. She struggles to get away. She grabs a broken piece of the railing and stabs at his arm with it. He lets go and decides to run up the stairs after her. Buffy scrambles to her feet, runs to the top and starts down the hall. At a bend in the hall she stops and looks around. The hallway is empty, so she runs to the first door. It's locked, so she goes to the next. It opens, and she runs in, slamming the door behind her. The room is pitch dark. Buffy searches around until she finds a string hanging from the ceiling. She pulls it and the light goes on. She stares in shock at the walls around her. They are covered with Polaroids of her mother. She grabs one off the wall to make sure. Just then she hears Kralik pounding at the door. He punches through and reaches in, searching for the knob to unlock it. She runs to another door, opens it and runs out into the hall. Just as she reaches the end, Kralik steps out in front of her.", "Kralik: If you stray from the path, you will lose your way. He reaches out and puts his hand on her cheek. She tries to push him away, but he's too strong and bends down toward her neck.", "Kralik: (reassuringly) I won't take it all. I won't take it all. She strains hard to keep him at bay. Suddenly Kralik has one of his attacks. He grabs his head and begins to scream. Buffy tries to get past him, but he shoves her into the wall, stunning her. He pulls out his pill bottle and struggles to get it open. Buffy regains her head and grabs the bottle out of his hands. She runs down the hall away from him.", "Kralik: No! No! No! He has a hard time coming after her with the pain in his head. Buffy reaches the far end of the hall and leaps into the laundry chute. Kralik looks down the chute and hears her sliding, but doesn't follow. Instead he staggers back the other way.", "Cut to the basement. Buffy comes sliding out of the chute and onto a table. It breaks beneath her, and she falls to the floor in a cloud of dust. Her mother is there, tied to a chair and gagged, and sees her daughter fall.", "Joyce: Buffy? Buffy gets up and scrambles over to her mother. She tries to untie her, but can't.", "Joyce: (muffled) Buffy, we have to get out... They hear pounding at the basement door. Buffy stops struggling with the ropes. Kralik smashes the door in and comes running down the stairs demanding his pills.", "Kralik: Where are they? Where are they?! He runs into the room, and Buffy fakes trying to get past him and up the stairs. He grabs her and shoves her against a wall. He sees the pill bottle in her hands and snatches it from her. He struggles with the lid as he stumbles over to where he sees a glass of water near the wine racks. He gets the lid off, pops a couple of pills and gulps down the water. He gasps for air and takes several deep breaths as he begins to calm down, knowing that the medicine should soon take effect. He smiles evilly over at Buffy and takes some forced steps in her direction. Buffy just watches him come.", "Kralik: You don't seem to understand your place in all of this. Do you have any idea... Suddenly he realizes something is very wrong and stops in his tracks.", "Kralik: Oh, my! (looks down at the glass in his hand) What have you... He begins to shake and looks back up at Buffy.", "Kralik: My pills! She pulls the now-empty bottle of Holy Water from her pocket and holds it up for him to see. He drops the glass and begins to shake violently, grunting and groaning in pain.", "Kralik: No. No... Smoke begins to puff out of his clothes. Buffy watches coolly.", "Buffy: If I was at full Slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.", "Kralik: No! No! He screams loudly one final time, and then crumbles to ashes from the inside out. Buffy closes her eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. She pockets the bottle and rushes over to her mother. She pulls the gag from her mouth and begins to work on the ropes again.", "Joyce: (breathing heavily) Buffy, thank God you're okay. Oh, that man...", "Buffy: (straining) I can't get these. They're too tight.", "Joyce: Can't you just... She jerks in her chair suggesting that Buffy just tear the ropes.", "Buffy: Not right now. (looks around) Maybe there's some clippers around. She stands up to look around, when suddenly Blair lunges at her. Giles is right behind him.", "Joyce: Oh, Buffy! Blair grabs Giles and throws him against a shelf rack. Blair punches him in the face and in the gut. Giles doubles over, but thrusts up with his arm, plunging a stake into Blair's chest. He bursts into ashes. Slowly Giles straightens up. He and Buffy look at each other for a long time.", "Quentin: Congratulations, you passed.", "Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting at the table. Quentin stands calmly at the head as he speaks. Giles leans in the doorway to his office.", "Quentin: You exhibited extraordinary courage and clearheadedness in battle. The Council is very pleased.", "Buffy: (deadpan) Do I get a gold star?", "Quentin: I understand that you're upset...", "Buffy: (with controlled fury) You understand *nothing*. You set that monster loose, and he came after my mother.", "Quentin: You think the test was unfair?", "Buffy: I think you better leave town before I get my strength back.", "Quentin: (evenly) We're not in the business of fair, Miss Summers, we're fighting a war.", "Giles: You're *waging* a war. She's fighting it. There is a difference.", "Quentin: Mr. Giles, if you don't mind...", "Giles: The test is done. We're finished.", "Quentin: Not quite. She passed. You didn't. (faces him) The Slayer is not the only one who must perform in this situation. I've recommended to the Council, and they've agreed, that you be relieved of your duties as Watcher immediately. You're fired.", "Giles: (taken aback) On what grounds?", "Quentin: Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgment. (Buffy looks at Giles) You have a father's love for the child, and that is useless to the cause. (Giles looks down) It would be best if you had no further contact with the Slayer. Buffy breaks her stare, and considers Quentin's words.", "Giles: (with hostility) I'm not going anywhere.", "Quentin: No, well, I didn't expect you would adhere to that. However, if you interfere with the new Watcher, or countermand his authority in any way, you will be dealt with. Are we clear?", "Giles: Oh, we're very clear.", "Quentin: (bows slightly to Buffy) Congratulations again. She looks up at him with a stare of hatred.", "Buffy: (vehemently) Bite me.", "Quentin: (chuckles ruefully) Yes, well, colorful girl. He turns and leaves the library. Giles looks up again and puts on his glasses. He looks over at Buffy. She gazes down into space for a moment, then sniffs and puts her hand to her forehead. She sniffs again, reaching out for the cloth that's lying on the table next to a bowl of water, and picks it up. Giles walks over to her and puts his hand on the cloth. She lets him take it from her hand. He dips it in the water and kneels down in front of her, reaches out and gently pats it over the gash in her forehead. She winces in pain, but doesn't pull away. She looks up at her Watcher sadly for a moment, then lowers her eyes. Giles turns the now-bloody cloth over and continues to lightly dab it on her wound.", "Cut to the Summers house. Cut to the kitchen. The whole gang is over for a visit. Buffy and Xander are making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Willow brings a jug of lemonade over to them at the island.", "Willow: I can't believe Giles was fired. How could Giles get fired?", "Oz: So, how did you manage to kill Kralik?", "Joyce: (smiles) Oh, she was very clever. Buffy raises her eyebrows at her.", "Joyce: Uh, you go ahead and tell it, dear. You tell it better. Buffy sighs.", "Willow: Now, now when you say 'fired', do you mean 'fired'?", "Xander: You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you?", "Willow: Well, it's just... I mean, he's been *fired*! He's, he's unemployed! He's... between jobs.", "Buffy: Giles isn't going anywhere, Will. He's still librarian.", "Willow: Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter.", "Buffy: You know, nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.", "Oz: Bright side to everything. Buffy grabs a new jar of peanut butter and tries to open it.", "Buffy: (sighs) Just feel better when I get my strength back.", "Xander: Give you a hand with that, little lady? He stands up and holds out his hand to take it from her. She hands it to him.", "Buffy: You're loving this far too much.", "Xander: Admit it. (tries to open it) Sometimes you just need a big strong man. (smiles) He struggles with the jar for a while, then tries to cover it with a laugh.", "Xander: Uh, Will, gimme a hand with that?" ]

[ "Xander tries to be cool and hangs out with Jack O'Toole ( Channon Roe ), who resurrects three of his former buddies. Xander soon realizes they are up to something deadly and attempts to hide. Meanwhile, the others need to prevent the Sisterhood of Jhe from reopening the Hellmouth." ]

[ "Prologue: A cave. There is a thick mist obscuring the view. A red-eyed, bluish- gray skinned demon angrily searches through the fog for those who have attacked it and its kindred, two of which already lie dead on the cave's floor. Faith is standing in an alcove watching the demon's movements. Buffy is up on a ledge, watching the demon anxiously. Giles is off in a corner waiting for the right moment. Willow slowly steps around the corner of the cave entrance carrying a large lit candle. When she's in view of the main chamber and senses the moment is right, she quietly speaks her spell.", "Willow: Obscurate nos non diutius.", "Translation: Do not conceal any longer. She blows out the candle, and a wind quickly sucks the fog out of the cave. The demon is now clearly visible to everyone. Its teeth are sharp, yet there are no fangs. It has very long pointed ears and a series of horns starting just above its eyes and continuing up on its high, thick forehead. It growls as it turns around, trying to get a clear look at what's there. When it's facing her, Buffy jumps from the ledge and tackles the demon to the ground. Giles comes out of his corner and grabs one of its arms. Buffy grabs the other as she scrambles to her feet, and together they drag the demon up and slam it against a wall. It wraps its arm around Giles' shoulder and throws him off. He hits an adjacent wall and falls to the ground.", "Buffy: (yells) Now! Faith comes out of her alcove holding a sword up in both hands and charges the demon. Before it can react, Faith has plunged the sword through its heart. The demon screams in agony. Giles looks up and watches as Faith pulls the sword back out of the demon's chest. Buffy releases it and allows it to fall. Giles rolls out of the way as it hits face down on the ground. He rolls back a bit and looks at the body lying next to him. Faith lowers her sword. Buffy looks down at the demon, relieved that the fight is over.", "Giles: I think that was the last. Willow comes in from the entrance, visibly shaken but trying to cover it with a smile. Buffy bends down to help up Giles.", "Buffy: Willow, you okay?", "Willow: (breathing hard) Yeah, I'm fine. Th-the shaking is, is a side effect of the fear.", "Giles: (on his feet) Thank you. (takes off his glasses and rubs his brow)", "Buffy: Well, if it wasn't for that clouding spell...", "Willow: (smiles) Yeah, it went good! (glances at the candle) Nothing melted like last time.", "Faith: These babes were wicked rowdy. What's their deal?", "Giles: I wish I knew. He crouches down and rolls the demon over to get a good look at it. Faith looks with disgust at another one of them.", "Giles: Most of my sources have dried up since the, uh, Council has relieved me of my duties. I was aware there was a nest here, but quite frankly, I expected it to be vampires. These, these are new.", "Buffy: And improved.", "Giles: (stands up) Yes. I'm sorry. I should've had you better prepared, and I should never have allowed Willow and, uh... (looks around) And, uh... They all realize that Xander is nowhere to be seen. Just then they hear something stirring under a pile of garbage. There they see Xander crawling out from under a collapsed cardboard box and other refuse.", "Xander: (out of breath) I'm good. We're fine. (gets up) Just a little bit dirty. (gives two thumbs up) Good show, everyone. (staggers out into the cave) Just great. I think we have a hit.", "Willow: (concerned) Are you okay?", "Xander: Tip-top, (exhales) really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it.", "Buffy: (worried) Xander, one of these days, you're gonna get yourself hurt.", "Faith: Or killed.", "Buffy: Or both. A-and, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. M-maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.", "Xander: (slightly miffed) Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?", "Faith: Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all.", "Xander: (haughtily) I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.", "Buffy: Uh, what do we do with the trio here? Should we burn them?", "Willow: (smiles) I brought marshmallows. Everyone gives her a surprised look. Giles puts his glasses back on.", "Willow: (with dignity) Occasionally, I'm callous and strange.", "Giles: I expect we can leave them. I'm more interested in finding out what they are, and whether we can expect more of their kind.", "Buffy: (starts out of the cave) I hope not. They're *way* too fit. Faith is right behind her.", "Xander: I say bring 'em on! Willow follows the Slayers out. Giles steps up to Xander and puts his hand on his shoulder.", "Giles: Uh, Xander, I think in the future perhaps it would be best if you, you, uh, h-hung back to the rear of the battle, you know, for your own sake. He lets go of the boy and takes one more look around before following the others out. Xander is just ahead of him.", "Xander: (facetiously) But, gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll *never* be a good reporter.", "Giles: (not getting it) Hmm?", "Xander: Jimmy Olsen joke, sir. Pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?", "Giles: Sorry.", "Xander: Hey, it's okay. They continue walking out. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. Cut to a lawn area between two of the buildings. It's lunch hour, and two jocks are throwing a football back and forth. Xander hops around, trying to get their attention.", "Xander: Hey, Doug, pass me one! Doug just gives him an annoyed look and throws the ball back to the other jock.", "Xander: Les-man, I'm open! A cheerleader looks over at him to see what the fuss is about.", "Xander: Les, buddy! Les ignores him and throws the ball back to Doug.", "Xander: Doug, right here, man. Right here. Doug is about to throw the ball back to Les.", "Xander: Doug, please! Doug sighs and gives in. He throws the ball high and long. Xander has to run for it.", "Xander: Alright! It's all me! He gets to the ball in time, but fumbles the catch. The ball bounces awkwardly away from him and over to Jack O'Toole, sitting alone eating his lunch. The ball hits Jack in the hands, knocking his bag of chips to the ground. He looks down at his scattered chips in surprise and snatches up the ball. Xander stops running and steps up to him. Jack stands up, holding the ball in his hands.", "Xander: Boy, I am *so* sorry. Doug's arm is kinda like spaghetti. (chuckles) We're all so very sad for him. (grins) Is your lunch okay?", "Jack: (not amused) What are you, retarded?", "Xander: No! No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything. (points down) Can I get you another soda?", "Jack: I oughtta cut your face open.", "Xander: (nervous) Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa... It was an accident. Cool down.", "Jack: (smiles thinly) You wanna be startin' somethin'?", "Xander: What? Starting something? (grins) Like that Michael Jackson song, right? (chuckles) That was a lot of fun. 'Too high to get over, yeah, yeah...' Remember that fun song? Jack takes a step toward him. Xander steps away nervously.", "Jack: I get my buddies together, we're gonna kick your ass till it's a brand-new shape. Xander knows he's not kidding. Jack tosses the ball to him hard.", "Jack: Now get outta here. Xander wastes no time walking away.", "Doug: Yo, man, the ball! Xander throws it to him. Cordelia is right there, and he steps over to her.", "Cordelia: Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest.", "Xander: (points back at Jack) I could've taken him.", "Cordelia: Oh, please. O'Toole would macrame' your face. He is a psycho. Which is still a lot cooler than being a wuss.", "Xander: (glances at Jack) Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures Hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?", "Cordelia: Because, unlike all those creatures that you've come face-to- face with, Jack actually noticed you were there.", "Xander: Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?", "Cordelia: It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers -- Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires -- and you're, like, this little nothing. (Xander looks down) You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.", "Xander: (chuckles) I was just talking to... (suddenly offended) Hey, mind your own business!", "Cordelia: Ooo, I struck a nerve. The boy that had no cool.", "Xander: I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a *lot* to offer.", "Cordelia: (starts to leave) Oh, please.", "Xander: I do!", "Cordelia: (stops and turns back) 'Integral part' of the group? Xander, you're the, the *useless* part of the group. You're the Zeppo. (Xander glances at Jack) 'Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't. She turns and walks away with a satisfied smile on her face. Xander is left in her dust.", "Cordelia: There was no part of that that wasn't fun.", "Cut to the cafeteria. Today it's kraut-dogs or spaghetti. The camera pans past the steam table as the kitchen staff doles out the food. It pans up to show Xander and Oz sitting at a table finishing their lunch.", "Xander: But... It's just that it's buggin' me, this 'cool' thing. (cut to them) I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it? And who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of cool?", "Oz: Not sure. (reaches for a chip)", "Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?", "Oz: Am I? (eats a chip)", "Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?", "Oz: (considers) Could be.", "Xander: (smiles) I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?", "Oz: (shakes his head) Not the way I play it.", "Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flügelhorn and gettin' *zero* trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. (thinks) But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?", "Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.", "Xander: Now with the mocking. Which I can handle because I know I'm right about this. I'm on the track. I just need to find my thing. (gets lost in thought)", "Oz: It seems like you're over-thinking it. I mean, you got some identity issues. It's not...", "Cut to the library that evening. Giles walks out of the cage past Buffy.", "Giles: The end of the world? (heads behind the counter)", "Buffy: (turns) Can they do that? (goes to the counter)", "Giles: They seem fairly committed. (gets a book) The Sisterhood of Jhe (brings it over) is an Apocalypse cult. They exist solely to bring about the world's destruction, and we've not seen the last of them. More will follow.", "Buffy: And they're here in Sunnydale for what? Demon Expo?", "Giles: (takes off his glasses) Buffy, this is no laughing matter.", "Buffy: Hence my no laughing.", "Giles: I'm sorry. (slips his glasses back on) I know I'm no longer your official Watcher, but... The library door opens, and they look up to see Oz come in.", "Oz: Hey.", "Buffy: Hey. The clock on the wall behind Giles shows it's 5:20pm.", "Giles: (checks his watch) Um, y-you're cutting it a bit close.", "Oz: (steps into the cage) Well, you know me. He pulls the door closed behind him. The privacy towels have already been put up. He begins to undress, starting with his jacket.", "Buffy: (to Giles) Well, do we know why they're here?", "Giles: I think so. (looks around) Based on some artifacts I, I found with them, and, um, (sees and reaches for another book) taking into account the current astral cycle...", "Buffy: (interrupts) Giles, I don't need to see the math. He puts down the book and steps back to the counter.", "Giles: (seriously) They intend to open the Hellmouth.", "Buffy: (looks up in surprise) The Hellmouth. The one that opens...", "Giles: About twenty feet from where you're standing. She looks behind her at the area where it last opened nearly two years before, where the study table stands surrounded by a semi-circle of low book shelves and the stack level behind them. Oz has turned into a werewolf and leaps up against the cage. He growls when he can't break through, looks up and howls.", "Cut to the front of the school the next morning. Willow and Buffy are arriving.", "Willow: And if it opens?", "Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?", "Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.", "Buffy: Well, it'll be the first to come out, and Giles says it won't be the worst by a long shot. The world will be overrun with demons if we don't stop it. They start to cross the street toward the steps.", "Willow: Do we know when this is supposed to happen?", "Buffy: (shrugs) Giles is trying to narrow it down. I-if you're up for it, we're heading into deep research mode.", "Willow: I'd be offended if you haven't already counted me in.", "Buffy: Thanks, Will. There's something about this one that... scares me. (puts her arm around her friend) I need my Willow.", "Willow: Oh, you don't have to be afraid... They've reached the other side of the street, and both jump when they hear a car pull up behind them with the horn honking. They spin around to see what's going on. There they see Xander behind the wheel of a light blue 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air convertible, pulling it to a stop. The radio is blaring. Xander looks cool in his shades and black jacket.", "Xander: You girls need a lift?", "Buffy: What is this?", "Xander: What do you mean, what is it? (gestures around himself) It's my *thing*.", "Willow: Your thing?", "Xander: (emphatically) My *thing*!", "Buffy: (frowns uncertainly) Is this a pen1s metaphor?", "Xander: (sighs heavily) It's my thing that makes me cool. You know, that makes me unique. (sees their blank looks) I'm Car Guy. Guy with the car.", "Willow: How can you afford it?", "Xander: Uncle Roary stacked up the DUIs, let me rent this bad boy till he's mobile again. (turns off the radio)", "Buffy: (tries to smile) Well, i-it's nice.", "Xander: Could you sound a little less enthused?", "Buffy: Sorry.", "Willow: Evil.", "Xander: Big?", "Buffy: Biggest. Maybe more than I can handle.", "Xander: (pulls off his shades) Then we'll handle it together. You know I'm here for you. Just tell me what I can do.", "Cut to the doughnut shop. Xander stands at the counter and places his order.", "Xander: I'll take two glazed, two cinnamon, couple cream-filled, and a jelly. No, no, let's round that out to four jellies. The clerk pulls them out and puts them in a box. Cordelia walks in.", "Cordelia: (mockingly) Ooo, is some evil going on? Must be big for them to entrust you with this daredevil mission.", "Xander: (counts out his money) Cordelia. Feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next twenty seconds. (hands it to the clerk)", "Cordelia: (pleased) Ooo, again, I strike the nerve. I am the surgeon of mean.", "Xander: (walks past her with the box) I'm kinda busy right now, okay?", "Cordelia: (turns around) Right. Buffy needs your help. Can you say 'expendable'?", "Xander: (faces her) You think you know everything.", "Cordelia: (steps up to the counter) I think I know you.", "Xander: That's a laugh.", "Cordelia: (tauntingly) Oh, what, you got a shiny car, and now you're someone new? Like anybody even cares about... She is interrupted by a sexy blonde approaching Xander.", "Lysette: Is that your car?", "Xander: (surprised by the attention) Why, uh... (smiles) Yes! It is! She walks around the car, checking out the equipment, surveying it closely.", "Lysette: '57 Chevy Bel Air... 283 CID... Solid lifter... Fuel-injected", "V-8...", "Xander: (has no idea) Uh... very possibly.", "Lysette: (abruptly) How does she handle?", "Cordelia is fascinated by this display.", "Xander: Like a dream about warm, sticky things. He shoots Cordelia a look. She just raises her eyebrows at him.", "Xander: (to the girl) Would you like to go for a little drive?", "Lysette: You busy?", "Xander: (holds up the doughnut box) Just gotta drop this stuff off, and then I would describe myself as... (making a face at Cordelia) expendable. Cordelia gives him a little huff. The blonde smiles at Xander and tilts her head, indicating he should open the door for her. He does so, giving Cordelia a glance as Lysette gets in. He closes the door and jumps up onto the back seat and scrambles over to the driver's seat. He has some difficulty sitting down with the huge steering wheel in the way, but manages well enough. Lysette doesn't care, obviously more impressed with the car than with him. Xander starts the car, puts it in drive, gives Cordelia one last look and burns a bit of rubber as he pulls away from the curb.", "Cut to the Bronze that evening. Xander and Lysette are sitting at a table with their drinks. He looks very bored as he listens to her chattering on.", "Lysette: ...and then I started seeing Dave Peck. Had a Thunderbird, engine completely tricked out, but the upholstery was kind of shot. So then I started seeing his friend Mike. Not the Mike with the Mercedes. The Mike with the Mustang. An '82 V-6. You know the look. Xander sees Angel come into the Bronze.", "Xander: Angel! Lysette looks toward the entrance. Xander stands up and waves him over with a smile.", "Xander: Buddy! Friend-buddy. (gestures at the table) You wanna sit and talk?", "Angel: (comes over) I'm looking for Buffy.", "Xander: Library, last I saw.", "Angel: Something's happening. I've seen portents.", "Xander: (grins) The Apocalypse. They're on top of it.", "Angel: I don't think they know what they're dealing with.", "Xander: Let's go there... and tell them that.", "Angel: No. (waves him off) It's best you stay out of harm's way. He turns and leaves.", "Xander: (desperate to get away) But I can help! He watches Angel go out the door.", "Lysette: Hey, you wanna go for another drive? That's pretty much the last thing on Xander's mind. Cut outside. Xander and Blondie come out and walk to the car parked in the alley just a short ways from the door.", "Xander: Y'know, it's not like I haven't helped before. Y'know, I've done some quality violence for those people. (opens the door) Do they even think about that? Lysette gets in and slides over to the passenger's side. Xander gets in and pulls the door closed.", "Xander: I mean... (starts it, puts it in drive) they act like I'm, like I'm some sorta klutz. He steps on the gas without even looking ahead. The car lurches forward and promptly hits the car parked in front of them. Xander slams on the brakes and puts the car into park.", "Xander: Oh, God! Are you alright? He gets out of the car and gingerly steps to the front of the car. There is only some slight bumper damage and a broken taillight on the other car.", "Xander: Oh, God! Stay calm. Little fender bender. It's not... He sees Jack O'Toole get out of the other car, looking angrily back at him. Jack just stands and stares at Xander for a long moment, letting the fear sink in.", "Xander: (apprehensive) ...the end of the world. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Werewolf Oz growls in his cage as he stares at Willow and Buffy sitting at the table. Willow looks over her shoulder at him.", "Willow: He's cranky.", "Buffy: It's a good night for it.", "Willow: Can't dogs sense when there's an earthquake, a-a-and they bark? Or cows lie down or something? (looks at Oz again)", "Buffy: (reads) 'Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors...' Eww. '...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes.' They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other? Giles come out of his office carrying a heavy leather bag.", "Giles: The Council wouldn't even take my calls. (disgusted) Idiots. (to the girls) Anything useful in the books?", "Buffy: Not wildly. (closes hers)", "Willow: We still have the Books of Pherion to go through. Giles nods.", "Buffy: (sets her book down) I'm getting itchy feet, Giles. We don't turn up something soon, I'm gonna hit the streets. (grabs and opens another) Maybe check out Willy's.", "Giles: Fine. He goes back into his office for his overcoat.", "Willow: Where are you going?", "Giles: Um, to try and contact the Spirit Guides. (takes his overcoat from its hanger) They exist out of time, but have knowledge of the future. (pulls it on) I have no idea if they will respond to my efforts, but I have to try. (comes back from his office) All we know is that the fate of the entire world rests on it. (looks into the doughnut box) Did you eat all the jellies? Buffy looks up from her book.", "Buffy: (innocently) Did you want a jelly?", "Giles: (petulantly) I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says 'let's have a jelly in the mix.'", "Willow: We're sorry. (tattles quickly) Buffy had three. Buffy shoots Willow a look.", "Giles: No matter. (grabs his bag) If Xander makes another run...", "(starts to go)", "Buffy: No. (Giles stops) Xander's out of this. He nearly got killed last time we fought. This whole thing will be easier if we know he's safe.", "Cut to the alley outside of the Bronze. Jack approaches Xander menacingly.", "Xander: (nervously) Oh, gosh, Jack, man, are, are you okay? (points at the bumpers) I am really sorry about that. But your car came out of nowhere.", "Jack looks down at the damage and back up at Xander.", "Jack: (incredulous) I was parked.", "Xander: Exactly. Look, I can cover the damages. I don't have insurance in the strictest sense of the word, but I have a little money. The important thing is that we're alright and we can work this out like two reasonable... Jack pulls out a very long hunting knife and holds it up.", "Xander: ...frontiersmen.", "Jack: (points the knife at Xander) Where do you want it?", "Xander: What?", "Jack: Where do you want it?", "Xander: I'm fairly certain I don't want it at all, but, uh, thank you.", "Lysette: (bored and impatient) Wow. Cool knife. Xander gives her a look. She rolls her eyes and walks back to the car.", "Xander: Yeah. Great knife. Although I think, uh, it may technically be a, a sword.", "Jack: She's called 'Katie'.", "Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you. (turns to Lysette) Listen, I think we should be going. Jack reaches around Xander with the knife and hooks it behind his ear, forcing Xander to look at him. Xander quakes with fear.", "Jack: (jeeringly) Are you scared? He traces the tip of the blade around Xander's neck and cheek.", "Xander: (shakily) Would that make you happy?", "Jack: (sneering) Your woman looking on, you can't stand up to me? Don't you feel pathetic? He traces the knife past Xander's mouth, back to his ear and around and down under his chin.", "Xander: (nervously) Mostly I feel Katie.", "Jack: You know what the difference between you and me is?", "Xander: Again... Katie's springing to mind.", "Jack: Fear. Who has the least fear.", "Xander: And it has nothing to do with who has the big, sharp... Suddenly Jack slaps the knife into Xander's hand and steps back, taunting him to fight.", "Jack: Come on. Xander has no idea where to begin. The blonde distracts him.", "Lysette: I wanna go for a drive. I'm bored. He lowers the knife and his guard.", "Xander: (sarcastically) Oh, gee, I'm really sorry my life-and-death situation isn't *exciting* enough for you... Jack grabs him and shoves him back onto the hood of the car. He grabs Xander's hand and twists it so the knife is pointing at his neck and begins to bear down on him. Just then a flashlight shines into Jack's face.", "Police Officer: Hey! Jack releases Xander and quickly palms the knife. The officer turns off his flashlight and slowly approaches.", "Police Officer: What's goin' on?", "Jack: Nothing. Just rasslin'.", "Police Officer: (recognizes) O'Toole. (chuckles) What a surprise. (flashes the light in his face) (to Xander) He attack you? Xander looks at Jack, who just looks at the officer.", "Xander: (to the officer) No. Just blowing off steam. (grins) Two guys rasslin'. (shakes his head) But not in a gay way.", "Police Officer: Do it somewhere else, huh? He turns and leaves. Xander drops his head in relief. Behind him Jack has a smile on his lips. Remembering that he's there, Xander looks over at him and is confused by his expression.", "Xander: What?", "Jack: That was alright. Could've narc'd on me. Didn't do it. That's decent of you. I like you. (smiles appraisingly)", "Xander: (still nervous) Yay?", "Jack: (to Lysette) You two wanna have some fun?", "Lysette: (smiles dippily) Like, with driving?", "Jack: Yeah. Xander sees the broad grin on her face and shakes his head, giving in.", "Xander: What do you have in mind?", "Jack: Well, I was on my way to get the boys. Gonna cruise around. (checks out Xander's Chevy) We'll take your wheels.", "Xander: What about your car?", "Jack: (looks at it and shakes his head) It ain't mine. Xander is aghast and shakes his head. Jack goes to the car door.", "Xander: Great. Where to? Jack opens the door and slides in to the far side.", "Jack: Gonna get the boys! Lysette slides in next to Jack, then Xander gets in.", "Xander: Yeah. (pulls the door closed) So, where're the boys?", "Cut to a cemetery. The camera pans behind some trees and over to the three of them by a grave. Xander and Lysette watch as Jack speaks a spell and dangles a chicken foot on a string over a grave.", "Jack: He calls forth the Spirit of Uurthu, the restless. No one shall speak. (raises his arms) He shall arise! Hear me... Xander watches, worried that it might work. Lysette is completely bored.", "Jack: The blood of the Earth shall restore him... He puts away the chicken foot and kneels by the grave. He drawn his knife across the palm of his hand, turns his hand over and lets his blood drip onto the grave.", "Jack: And he shall arise. Xander takes a step back. Something under the ground begins to move.", "Jack: Shall arise! A pair of arms punch through the grass followed by a head. It's Jack's friend Bob. He has a huge frown on his face as he looks around. Jack stands up and steps back. Lysette's eyes go wide with surprise. Bob pulls himself out the rest of the way and gets up, still frowning and disoriented. Jack looks him up and down, pleased with the result. Bob looks over at Jack and recognizes his friend.", "Bob: Buddy.", "Jack: Bob. They look at each other for a moment. Bob has clearly started to decay, but is still easily recognizable.", "Jack: You big, hideous corpse... Come here! Bob comes at Jack and grabs him in a huge bear hug, lifting him off the ground and laughing. Lysette freaks out and runs away, screaming at the top of her lungs. Xander watches her go.", "Xander: (resentfully) I'll call ya! Bob keeps laughing as he swings Jack around a bit before putting him back down.", "Bob: Man! You *raised* me!", "Jack: (looks him up and down) I *told* you grandpappy could work that mojo. Big Bob is back in action!", "Bob: (raises his arms) Yes! They each butt hard into the other in celebration. Xander fidgets restlessly, waiting to see what's going to happen next.", "Bob: Oh, man, I can't believe you raised me! That is so awesome! (starts to calm down, lets go of Jack) You are the coolest.", "Xander: Maybe I should just let you guys catch up. (starts to go)", "Jack: Bob, this is Xander. He's our wheel man. Xander turns back around and smiles.", "Bob: Hey. He steps up to Xander and slaps him hard in the shoulder, making him stagger back a few steps. Xander manages to keep his balance and straightens back up.", "Xander: Howdy.", "Bob: (steps back to Jack) Dude, where are the other guys? We gotta go get 'em.", "Jack: (nods) Absolutely.", "Bob: (pats him on the arm) Alright. They start walking to get the rest of the boys. Xander stays back.", "Xander: Are, um... Are all your friends dead?", "Jack: (over his shoulder) Xander, let's roll.", "Bob: How long I been down?", "Jack: Eight months. I had to wait till the stars aligned.", "Bob: Oh, eight months. I got some catching up to do. He stops in his tracks and points at Jack.", "Bob: Whoa! Walker, Texas Ranger. You been taping 'em?", "Jack: Every ep. Xander catches up with them.", "Bob: Alright. We're gonna get the guys together, and we're gonna PARTY, man! (hits Xander hard in the other shoulder) It's gonna be a night to remember! (they start walking again) Yeah!", "Xander: (trailing them) I'm sensing that.", "Cut to Dickie's grave. Jack weaves his spell again.", "Jack: The blood of the Earth shall restore him, and he shall arise. Dickie comes up head first. He is far more decayed than Bob. His face is raw and bloody, but he is also still recognizable.", "Dickie: Dudes!", "Cut to the car. The camera is low to the pavement showing the back of the car. The tires squeal as the four boys take off for another cemetery to get the last member of the group.", "Cut to the Restfield Cemetery. The camera pans low along some gravestones and up to the sign. Cut to Giles standing before a large mausoleum and holding up a lit candle. The Spirit Guides appear in the form of a bright cloud gathering in front of the mausoleum, and Giles speaks to them.", "Giles: Noli me renuere, umbra ducens. Sapienta manium super me effundatur.", "Translation: Do not deny me, Spirit Guide. Let the wisdom of those who have passed be showered upon me.", "Spirit Guides: Illae res occultae sunt tempoti et locis obscuris. Enuntiare illas Chaos super orbem vivum terrarum ferat.", "Translation: These secrets belong to time and the dark regions. To reveal them would bring Chaos down upon the living Earth.", "Giles: Belua propulsanda est! Invenire vitium suum noster spes sola est!", "Translation: The Beast must be fought! Our only hope lies in finding its weakness! A strong wind begins to blow.", "Spirit Guides: (angrily) Noli petere! Perturba nos non diutius!", "Translation: (angrily) Seek not! Disturb us no longer! The cloud moves away and up into the sky. The wind stops blowing. The cloud splits in two, and both halves disappear up into the firmament. Giles isn't happy with the result of the encounter. He looks to his right when he hears Xander approaching.", "Xander: Giles, hey... (smiles) What's goin' on?", "Giles: Oh, uh, (looks at the mausoleum) I was just trying to, uh, gain access to the, um, Spirit Guides. Not going very well, I'm afraid.", "(looks around) Uh, what are you doing here? (packs his things)", "Xander: Oh, we were just raising, um... (glances back at the others)", "some heck. Jack and the others, having raised the last member of their group, are waiting by the car for Xander.", "Jack: (impatient) Xander! Let's go!", "Xander: (kneels by Giles) Listen, do you guys need any help?", "Giles: (concentrating on packing) Hmm? Oh, no. Thank you. Uh, probably best if you, you stay out of trouble.", "Xander: No chance of that.", "Jack: (impatient) Xander! Motor!", "Giles: (stands up) There's something... different about this... menace, something in the air... The stench of death.", "Xander: Yeah, I think it's Bob.", "Giles: (absently) We may all be called upon to fight when it happens.", "(picks up his bags)", "Xander: When what happens, exactly?", "Jack: (very impatiently) Come on!", "Giles: I better go. (smiles weakly) Um, hopefully, we shall have time to prepare. All we need is a few weeks. (turns and leaves)", "Cut to Willy's bar. The place has been completely trashed. Buffy is kneeling down next to Willy, who is lying on the floor behind the bar with his head and shoulders propped up against the cabinets. He's been very badly beaten, and the blood flows freely from several cuts in his head.", "Buffy: Tonight?", "Willy: (nods, laboring to breathe) Before sunrise. That's what they said. (winces in pain)", "Buffy: (looks at the damage) Why did they do this?", "Willy: They were looking for Angel.", "Buffy: Angel? Why?", "Willy: (breathing shallowly) Said they were coming after you, too, and nothing could stand in their way because (winces in pain) tonight was the night...", "Severe pain stabs him in the gut, and he turns from her and coughs.", "Willy: (painfully) Oh, man...", "Buffy: (worried) The ambulance is on its way.", "Willy: (coughs, swallows) Look, kid, my clientele ain't exactly nuns and orphans, but I... I never seen anything like these demons.", "Buffy: I'm gonna stop them.", "Willy: (coughs) That Hellmouth opens (swallows) they're gonna be the least of your problems is my train of thought. He winces in pain again and coughs, then swallows again.", "Willy: (between shallow breaths) If I were you... I'd go find Angel... go somewhere quiet together. I'd be thinking about how I wanna spend my last night on Earth.", "Cut to Xander and the gang. Bob is standing in the back seat with his fists raised into the air.", "Bob: LET'S GET SOME BEER! YEAH! The other dead boys yell in agreement. Parker, the last one of the group to be raised, is in an advanced state of decay, and so is in much worse shape than the others. His face is beyond recognition, having lost much of its flesh, exposing parts of his skull. Xander can't believe he's caught up in all of this.", "Parker: Dude! Let's go pick up some girls, man. We'll hang out at Taco Bell, get some girls, go cruise around... They all laugh, except for Xander.", "Dickie: I wanna bake a cake. Bob slides back down into the seat with an arm around each of his buds.", "Bob: Hey, we need some beers, though.", "Parker: (to Bob) I can't believe you got shot, man. Was it them Jackals?", "Jack: Are you kidding? We wiped them out after they threw you off the bridge.", "Parker: (appreciatively) Oh, man. You guys, you guys are the best, man. The best! I mean that.", "Bob: (explains to Parker) There's a liquor store. Little Armenian guy runs the place? He had a gun behind the counter. He looks ahead, frowning in disgust. The bullet hole in his forehead above his left eye is plainly visible. He brightens when he has an idea.", "Bob: Hey... We should go kick his ASS!", "Parker: Yeah!", "Bob: YEAAAAAH! Xander glances back at them nervously.", "Xander: If you guys want me to drop you off somewhere, that's...", "Jack: (interrupts, pats Xander's shoulder) Nah. You're with us now. Parker reaches up to him from behind and pats him on neck and cheek with his grossly rotten hands.", "Parker: Oh yeah, man, you on the team now, baby. Whoo-hoo! The guys in the back all chuckle.", "Bob: (serious) What're we gonna do?", "Jack: Well, I've heard some interesting suggestions, but I'm gonna have to go with Dickie's. Let's bake a cake.", "Dickie: Yeaaaaah!", "Bob and Parker: Yeaaaaah! Bob laughs as he leans back over the trunk and raises his fists into the air.", "Cut to a hardware store. Xander pulls the car to a stop in front.", "Jack: Alright. He gets out. Dickie pushes the front backrest forward and gets out. Bob and Parker just jump over the side of the car.", "Jack: (to Xander) You stay here and keep the motor running. (joins the others)", "Xander: Uh, this time of night, I'm pretty sure nothing's open. Bob grabs a newspaper vending machine, yanks it from the sidewalk and heaves it into the hardware store window. It shatters loudly. Xander watches nervously.", "Xander: But they're always open for *crime*. The dead boys all climb into the store. Xander holds on tightly to the steering wheel and fidgets nervously in his seat.", "Xander: Okay. Now I'm involved in crime. I'm the criminal element. (sarcastically) Having a car sure is cool! He hears Willow's voice, and turns to see her leaving the magic shop about half a block down on the other side of the street.", "Willow: Thank you. Sorry to wake you. (starts down the street)", "Shopkeeper: No problem.", "Xander: Will! She sees him and walks into the street toward him. Xander gets out of the car and goes to meet her.", "Willow: Xander, what are you doing here?", "Xander: Nothing. Certainly not crime. (grins guiltily and glances behind him) Wh-what about you?", "Willow: (worried) I-I needed supplies for a protection spell. Buffy called from Angel's. I-it's happening tonight.", "Xander: And that thing that's happening would be...?", "Willow: I-I can't stay. Buffy'll needs this. She goes, leaving Xander standing there still unenlightened. Just as quickly she comes back and gives him a tight hug. She lets go and looks up at him.", "Willow: I love you, Xander. Again she hurries off, leaving him to ponder his next move.", "Xander: Okay, that's it. (turns back to the car) I'm gonna... Jack steps in front of him and stops him.", "Jack: Where you going?", "Xander: Look, something's just come up. (looks at the store)", "Jack: You gonna bail on me? Is that it? Xander's response is interrupted by the noise of the others coming out of the hardware store. Dickie holds up two bags full of ingredients for him to see.", "Dickie: (smiling) We got the cake mix! (puts the bags in the car)", "Parker: Where you wanna bake it?", "Jack: (ominously) Xander's looking to leave.", "Bob: No way. (comes around the car) We need a wheel man. (stands behind Xander) Dickie and Parker walk around the other way.", "Jack: (menacingly) Xander doesn't feel like he's part of the group.", "Xander: (placatingly) No. It's just I'm kinda busy! Bob comes around to Xander's left. Parker stands to his right.", "Bob: He doesn't feel like part of the group because he hasn't been initiated.", "Jack: Do you think he's ready?", "Parker: (puts his arm around Xander) Oh, I think he's earned his stripes. I say we let him in, boys. Huh?", "Dickie: (chuckles) Woo-hoo!", "Xander: (grins) Great! (nods) I wanna be in the gang, sure!", "Parker: Alright! (nudges him in the gut) Yeah.", "Jack: (lifts his finger to Xander) That's the spirit.", "Parker: Yeah.", "Xander: (smiling, getting into it) What do I gotta do? Jack pulls out Katie and holds the blade to his face. Xander's smile is instantly replaced with fear.", "Jack: (twists the blade threateningly) You gotta die. Parker pats Xander affectionately on the cheek.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the street in front of the hardware store.", "Xander: (nervously) Alright, guys, what... Let's just talk about this.", "Parker: Aw, you wanna be part of the gang now, don't you? Jack leers at him, constantly turning his knife.", "Xander: Yes, yes, but I'm not *dying* to be in the gang, if you get the, um... the pun there.", "Bob: (insulted) What? You're, you're too good to be dead? He grabs Xander by the lapels of his jacket and lifts him up.", "Bob: You got a problem with dead people? Xander shakes his head and mouths \"no\", thinking quickly.", "Xander: What about Jack? Jack's not dead. Jack lowers his knife, reaches down and raises his shirt for Xander to see. There is a series of bullet holes across his gut. Bob releases Xander so he can get a better look. Jack drops his shirt back down and brings Katie back up level to Xander's face.", "Jack: Drive-by three weeks ago.", "Xander: (exhales) Oh, boy.", "Jack: Grandpappy found my body. I wasn't gone but ten minutes before he raised me. It's a rush, man.", "Dickie: (smiling) Let's kill Xander. It'll be fun!", "Parker: Yeah, man, you could be a full-fledged member.", "Jack: (steps closer and sneers) Come on, Xander. Take it like a man.", "Xander: (takes a chance) Alright, enough! You guys have had your fun, but you forgot about *one* thing. He looks at Bob and Parker, and then makes a break for it.", "Jack: Get him! Xander runs across the street and into the outside seating area of the Espresso Pump. They all give chase. Xander waits for them to follow him into the cafe', then makes another break for it, jumping up onto a table and hopping over the low wall surrounding the area. He runs back across the street and jumps into the car. The motor is still running, so he throws it into drive, floors it and burns rubber out of there, leaving the dead guys behind.", "Bob: Damn him! (throws up his hands) There goes the wheels.", "Parker: (plaintively) He took all our stuff, man.", "Dickie: I wanna bake a cake.", "Jack: (seething with anger) It's alright. We'll get more. The night is young. They all head back into the hardware store for more supplies.", "Cut to Xander driving along the street, very relieved to have escaped.", "Xander: I'd say that's pretty much enough excitement for one evening.", "Cut to a park. Faith gets thrown against a fence, pulled off and thrown against it again by a member of the Sisterhood of Jhe. The demon pulls her off again, but Faith shakes loose and does a backhand swing at the demon's head, making it snap hard to the side. Faith then punches it in the gut and tries for a second hit to the head, but the demon blocks the attempt, grabs Faith's arms and throws her to the ground. Faith rolls and comes back up to a fighting stance. The demon lunges at her, but she kicks it in the knee and then roundhouse kicks it in the head. Without pausing, Faith launches into a half spinning high wheel kick, which the demon blocks with both arms. The demon throws Faith's leg down, grabs onto her jacket and swings her around and back into the fence. Back in the street Xander rounds a corner and sees the fight in the park ahead of him. The demon rushes Faith, who grabs the fence behind her and lifts herself up to do a twin push kick to the demon's gut, shoving her back hard. Xander sees his opening, and just drives right into the demon, knocking it back quite a ways onto its ass. He backs the car out into the street again as Faith watches. The demon gets back to its feet and starts her chase.", "Xander: (to Faith) Get in! Faith runs to the car and dives into the back seat. Xander guns it just as the demon catches up, but she can't run fast enough to grab hold of the car, and is left in their dust.", "Cut to Faith's motel. Xander pulls the car to a screeching halt in a parking spot. They both run out and up the stairs to her room, watching for any pursuers. Faith opens the door and runs in. Xander is right behind her and swings the door shut.", "Xander: You think Demon Mama followed us? He checks out the window, but doesn't see anything. He rushes over to the other window and checks there, too, but again sees nothing.", "Faith: No, we're cool. (takes off her jacket) The bitch dislocated my shoulder, though. She tosses her jacket aside, careful not to move her arm too much. Xander comes back over to her.", "Faith: Hold me. He looks at her a bit confused, but gets closer and reaches out to her. Faith takes his right hand and puts it on her left upper arm. He finally realizes that he's supposed to hold it steady. She reaches up with her right hand and grabs hold of his jacket for leverage. She pulls her left shoulder back and jerks it forward. Her shoulder audibly snaps back into place. Faith heaves a sigh and rotates her shoulder around in different positions.", "Faith: That's better. (sniffs) She got me really wound up. She looks at Xander and runs her hand over his chest. She inhales and exhales deeply.", "Faith: A fight like that and... no kill... I'm about ready to pop. She smiles at him, still rubbing her hand over his chest.", "Xander: (nervously) Really? (looks down at her rubbing hands) Pop?!", "Faith: (smiles sexily) You up for it? She runs her other hand down the back of his neck.", "Xander: (nods) Oh, I'm up. She smiles at him and gets closer. She stops rubbing his chest and lowers her hand to his crotch.", "Xander: I'm suddenly *very* up. It's just, um... (grins sheepishly) I've never been up with people before. Faith grabs his jaw and kisses him full on the lips with plenty of tongue.", "Faith: Just relax... And take your pants off. She starts to push his shirt and jacket off of his shoulders.", "Xander: Those two concepts are antithetical. She yanks his shirt and jacket down his back and off his arms, and throws them down. They lock in a passionate embrace and kiss each other hard. Faith turns him around and shoves him back onto the bed. She jumps up after him and straddles him.", "Faith: Don't worry. (pulls off her own shirt) I'll steer you around the curves. She grins broadly down at him. Xander looks back up at her with more than a little apprehension on his face.", "Xander: Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?", "Cut to a shot of their reflection in the TV. Faith is on top of Xander under the sheet, moving slowly and purposefully.", "Cut to them cuddling afterward. Xander runs his fingertips across her upper arm. They gaze into each other's eyes for a while. Faith smiles at him. Cut outside her motel room door. She opens it and nudges Xander out. He has only his underwear on and holds the rest of his clothes in his arms. Faith is wrapped up in the bed sheet.", "Faith: That was great. I gotta shower. She closes the door on him. He just stands there, unsure of what just happened. He looks at the door again, and soon realizes he's just been used. Mouth agape, he makes his way back to his car.", "Cut to the library. Werewolf Oz is jumping around in the cage, very agitated. Willow watches him, very worried.", "Willow: I've never seen him like this. Giles comes up behind her with the dart gun and hands it to her.", "Giles: It's the Hellmouth. He can sense it's going to open. Be ready just in case. Willow checks the rifle as Giles goes to the cage to open it. He looks back at her before he does.", "Giles: Now don't hesitate. Willow raises the weapon to her shoulder and takes aim, anxious about having to hurt Oz.", "Willow: Do it. Giles unlocks the door.", "Giles: Now Oz... Oz leaps up against the door and throws it open, knocking Giles to the floor. He takes a leap toward Willow, but she's ready and pulls the trigger. The dart flies from the barrel and hits him in the side, and he yelps and falls to the floor. It's not enough to keep him down in his agitated state, though, and he gets back up on all fours. Behind him Giles scrambles to his feet.", "Giles: AGAIN! Willow retreats as she inserts another dart into the gun. Oz is weakened, but he lunges toward her. Giles runs to get him from behind. Oz jumps up onto the table just as Giles catches up and grabs him around the chest. Oz raises himself up on his hind legs, growling fiercely as Giles gets an arm around each of his, exposing his chest. Willow takes the shot, and the werewolf yelps again. This time the Phenobarbital does its job, and Oz collapses onto the table, dragging Giles down on top of him. The wolf pants shallowly as Willow steps up to him and soothingly pets the thick fur on his head.", "Giles: We've got to move him before he wakes up.", "Willow: (remorsefully to Oz) Sorry. I hope you're not mad at me in the morning.", "Cut to Faith's motel. Xander pulls on his jacket and gets into his car. He checks himself in the rearview mirror and thinks about what just happened. He sighs and looks into the back seat. There he sees the two bags of stolen ingredients and grabs one to see what's inside. In it he finds a can of kerosene, a short length of galvanized pipe with caps, wire, primer cord and an electronic timer switch. He takes a second look at the can of kerosene and realizes that the \"cake\" really isn't.", "Xander: Hey! They're not baking any cake. He quickly sets the can aside and starts the car.", "Cut to the hardware store. He comes to a stop in front of it. The place is a mess, but Jack and his gang are nowhere to be seen.", "Xander: Long gone. Probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. He looks into the store and tries to concentrate.", "Xander: I can't believe I had s*x. (catches himself) Okay, bombs. Already-dead guys with bombs. (realizes) Oh, man, I'm outta my league! Buffy'll know what to do. He takes off for Angel's mansion.", "Cut to the mansion. Buffy and Angel are inside arguing.", "Buffy: (pleading) I don't know what to do.", "Angel: Then let me decide for you. I can face this thing.", "Buffy: (protests) You can't.", "Angel: Look, I, I can at least buy you enough time for Willow's spell to bind it. She stares speechlessly at him.", "Angel: Buffy, this is worse than anything we've ever faced. It's the only way.", "Buffy: (voice cracking) I can't watch you die again. He lifts his hand to her cheek and rubs it gently, looking deeply into her eyes.", "Angel: I love you.", "Buffy: (takes his hand) I love you.", "Angel: Nothing can change that. Not even death. She jerks his hand away and steps back, angry about his defeatist attitude.", "Buffy: Don't talk to me like that! *You* may be ready to go, but *I* am not ready to lose you. Okay, this is my fight, and if you won't do it my way, then you're... She is interrupted by Xander clearing his throat. She turns to face him.", "Xander: (grins) Hey. I've got this, um... There's this, uh... (grins sheepishly) Buffy and Angel look at him expectantly. Xander sees the sadness in their faces and the tear streaks on Buffy's cheeks.", "Xander: (awkwardly) It's probably a bad time. He turns to go, but looks back at them again.", "Xander: Can I help? They both shake their heads at him.", "Xander: Okay. He walks out the door. Buffy turns back to Angel, and they look at each other sadly.", "Cut to the atrium at the mansion. Xander walks to the stairs and starts up and out.", "Xander: Okay, I can work this out. I just got to figure out what they'd be likely to bomb.", "Cut to Sunnydale High School at night. Cut to the library. Giles has cleared away the table and chairs and painted a black circular figure on the floor. Eight rays extend from the edge. Inside are four small semicircles which mark the four corners. At the center three short lines intersect. A lit candle stands on each line and a fourth at their intersection. All around the circle and the room are more candles. Giles is busy lighting them as he recites a spell from a book.", "Giles: Terra, vente, ignis et pluvia. Cuncta quattuor numina, vos obsecro. Defendete nos a recente malo resoluto.", "Translation: Earth, wind, fire and rain. Linger four gods, we implore you. Defend us, immediately after I will release you. Willow returns to the library with the tranquilizing gun and sets it down on the counter as she passes by.", "Willow: Okay. Oz is moved. He could barely walk after that mickey I gave him, but we made it. Is he gonna be alright there?", "Giles: Anywhere is safer than here. Um, help me with the candles. He tosses her the lighter, which she catches.", "Willow: We're doing the binding spell from the Hebron's Almanac?", "Giles: Yes, but once it's ready, (lights a match) you're to stay back and let me finish the recitation. (Willow starts to protest) Don't argue. I want you safe. Who knows what's going to come up from beneath us. Willow crouches down and starts lighting more of the candles.", "Cut to the boiler room. Dickie puts the finishing touches on the bomb. They have it assembled on top of an oil barrel. Dickie plugs in the timer, and switches it on.", "Parker: Whoo! He taps the keys and sets it for sixty minutes. Dickie plugs in the last wire, and the countdown starts. They all chuckle under their breaths. Jack walks up to the bomb and checks it out.", "Jack: This is gonna be large! (smiles at Parker)", "Parker: Oh, yeah! Dickie checks the wiring once more as they all laugh. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The streets. Xander drives to the school.", "Xander: (frantically) Giles will know what to do. He's *way* more calm than Buffy. He turns a corner and sees the dead boys walking and laughing.", "Xander: Okay, I got a plan. Jack and Bob hear him approaching and turn around.", "Bob: Hey, our wheels. The group splits up, and Xander drives up between them, slowing down as if to stop. Parker is right up by the car, so Xander reaches out and grabs him.", "Parker: Hey! Xander hits the gas and takes off, dragging Parker alongside. Cut around the next corner. Xander drives around it and weaves the car side to side. The other boys chase him. Cut to Xander holding onto Parker.", "Parker: (scared) Stop! C'mon, man! Stop!", "Xander: Where's the bomb?!", "Parker: It's in, it's in the high school!", "Xander: In the school where?!", "Parker: Oh, God, this really, really hurts!", "Cut to the street. Xander screeches around the next corner.", "Parker: Stop!", "Cut to Parker.", "Parker: It's in the, it's in the boiler room.", "Xander: Alright. Now I'm gonna ask you this once, and you better pray you get the answer right.", "Parker: (still scared) Okay, okay.", "Xander: How do I defuse... He never finishes his question, because he drives too close to a curbside mailbox, and the impact knocks Parker's head off. Xander screams in horror at the sight and releases his hold on Parker's now- headless body. He looks back at the others and guns the car.", "Xander: (chagrined) I probably should've left out that whole middle part. Bob and Dickie keep up the chase. Jack stops to check on Parker.", "Dickie: He's headed for the school!", "Cut to a hall in the school. Xander barges through a door and runs past the basement access door. He comes back to it and notices the sign stating \"Door to remain locked at all times\". Jack, Bob and Dickie crash through the hall door and start to chase him.", "Jack: There he is! Xander starts to run down the hall again.", "Xander: Where's a Slayer when you need one?", "Cut to the library. The Hellmouth has opened, and the same huge, green, multi-headed, tentacled demon that erupted from it less than two years before looms over the heads of Buffy, Faith, Angel, Giles and Willow, only now it's much larger. Bolts of energy flash about like lightning.", "Giles: Oh, my God. It's grown. The camera passes through the group to the doors, where Xander runs by followed a moment later by Jack and then Bob and Dickie in rapid succession. Dickie is distracted by the noise and lights coming from the library and backtracks to have a look. He peers in through one of the round door windows and sees the Hellmouth demon waving its three heads around.", "Dickie: Wow.", "Jack: C'mon, man! Dickie joins the chase again.", "Cut to another hall. The dead boys have lost Xander. They open a set of doors and stop at the hall intersection.", "Bob: Which way?", "Jack: He couldn't have gotten far. Let's split up. Bob goes right, Dickie goes left and Jack heads straight ahead.", "Cut to the stairs by the student lounge. Bob comes bounding down and stops at the base. He looks around and notices a fire ax on the wall. He smashes the glass and pulls it out.", "Bob: Good for chopping. He heads into the student lounge. A moment later Xander runs into the student lounge and runs up to the couches. From off to the side Bob swings the ax at him. Xander reacts fast and stops short of being sliced, but loses his balance and falls backward onto a table. He rolls off of it and onto the floor. Quickly he scrambles to his feet, but immediately gets knocked onto another table by a punch from Bob.", "Bob: Now this is what I call fun. He wields the ax back and swings it down at the table. Xander rolls away just as the head of the ax embeds itself into the table, and he comes up standing next to Bob. He backhand punches Bob in the face, stunning him, grabs him and swings him around head first into another table. Bob falls to the floor and lies there on his back, dazed by the impact. Xander pulls the ax from the other table, looks down at Bob and goes over to a vending machine. He slips the blade of the ax behind the machine and uses the handle as a lever to pry it away from the wall. It tilts over and falls right onto Bob's head, crushing it. Back out in the hall Dickie comes through a door and runs into the student lounge. He sees Bob's body lying there and stops, looking at it aghast. Xander steps out into the open holding up the ax.", "Xander: Should've learned by now. If you're gonna play with fire, you gotta expect sooner or later... Dickie takes off running before Xander can finish delivering his Clint Eastwood line.", "Xander: (insulted) I wasn't finished! Dickie disappears back out the same door he came in.", "Xander: Note to self: less talk. He starts to run after Dickie.", "Cut to the hall outside the library doors. Suddenly the doors burst open, and Buffy comes flying out backward, landing almost at the far end of the hall by the door leading outside. The three heads of the Hellmouth demon come slithering through the doors after her. Buffy gets up and runs back at it.", "Buffy: Faith! Go for the heart!", "Cut to another part of the hall. Dickie runs around a corner and disappears down an adjacent hall. Xander is right behind him with the ax. A moment later Xander comes running back with Dickie right behind him. Right on their heels are three members of the Sisterhood of Jhe. Xander runs into a room and off to the side. Dickie follows him but runs through it to the nurse's office. He whips the door open, runs in and finds himself trapped. The demons run in after him and start ripping him apart. Xander takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.", "Xander: Okay, boiler room. He turns back toward the door, but is stopped by one of the heads of the Hellmouth demon when it breaks through the wall next to him.", "Xander: Other way. The head roars after him as he runs away.", "Cut to the basement. Xander kicks open the door, enters cautiously and makes his way down the stairs. At the bottom he opens the door to the boiler room and looks in. There in the middle of the room he sees the bomb. The timer is ticking away.", "Xander: Hello, nasty. He steps into the room and closes the door behind him. He gingerly goes over to the bomb and checks the timer as he sets down the ax.", "Xander: (breathing hard) Less than two minutes. Dumb guy. Little bomb. How hard can it be? Suddenly Jack grabs him from behind and throws him into a work bench. He hits it hard and falls to the floor. Xander gets back up only to find himself face-to-face with Jack.", "Jack: And it just got harder.", "Xander: I'm not leaving till that thing's disarmed.", "Jack: Then I guess you're not leaving. He swings a right at Xander, which he blocks. Jack swings a high left, which Xander ducks. Jack swings a right again, and this time hits Xander in the jaw, making him stagger back into a wall. Jack pulls Katie out and tries to stab Xander, but he catches Jack's arm and manages to hold him back. Jack doesn't let up, though, and keeps pressing into him. Xander glances over at the bomb, which is ticking away.", "Jack: (angrily) I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy. You piss me off, boy. Now you pay the price. First the eyes, then the tongue. I'm gonna break every one of your fingers.", "Xander: You gonna do all that in forty-nine seconds? Jack looks over at the bomb, and Xander seizes the opportunity to push him back, grab him by the jacket and shove his head into the wall. He pulls him back from the wall and punches him in the face. Jack comes back up unfazed, grabs Xander by the pants and flips him over onto a crate. He quickly gets back up, and the two boys start to come at each other again, but then stop when they realize they don't have time for this. Jack glances over at the exit sign above a door.", "Xander: I know what you're thinkin'. Can I get by him? Get up the stairs, out of the building, seconds ticking away... I don't love your chances.", "Jack: Then you'll die, too.", "Xander: (raises his eyebrows) Yeah, looks like. So I guess the question really is... who has less fear?", "Jack: (tries to psyche Xander out) I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead.", "Xander: Yeah, but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's little bits being swept up by a janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that. He's proven right when Jack makes a move for the door. Xander matches his move, and Jack realizes there's no way he can get out. They face each other from opposite sides of the bomb. Xander is oddly calm whereas Jack is clearly afraid.", "Jack: Are you?", "Xander: (glances at the bomb, smiles thinly) I like the quiet.", "Cut to the library. Angel and Faith fight one of the Sisterhood. She swings at Angel, but he ducks the punch. He swings at her, and hits her dead in the face. Giles swings at the Hellmouth demon with an ax, still trying to force it back the rest of the way as he recites the rest of the binding spell.", "Giles: Omnia... vasa... veritatis!", "Translation: All things... the vessel... of truth!", "Giles: Now, Buffy! From above him, at the stack level, she starts to swing at the creature with a battleaxe.", "Cut to the boiler room. The two boys are still facing off with the bomb between them. The timer counts down the last few seconds.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "The boys stare each other down, both taking deep breaths.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Xander stands his ground. Jack is starting to have second thoughts.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Xander gives Jack a little frown, saying in essence, \"Too late now.\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Jack caves and quickly reaches in and pulls a wire. The timer goes blank. He drops the wires and pulls his hands away. It takes Xander a moment to realize that it's over.", "Xander: Good boy. He steps over to Jack and looks him straight in the eyes.", "Xander: I don't think I wanna be seeing you on campus anymore, Jack. He goes over to the door he entered from, gives Jack one last look, opens it and leaves, closing it behind him. Jack walks toward the other door.", "Jack: I'm not going anywhere, Harris. The first time you turn your back... He pulls the door open, and werewolf Oz jumps out at him. Jack screams as he hits the floor and gets mauled.", "Cut to the school the next day. Students come and go as though nothing has happened. Dissolve to the quad. Students go about their business.", "Willow: Even after the Hellmouth was closed, you could still hear it screaming. Dissolve to her, Buffy, Giles and Oz sitting at a lunch table. They all sit quietly. Dissolve to a close-up of Giles and Oz.", "Oz: But Angel's gonna be okay? The camera pans over to Buffy and Willow. Buffy's right arm is in a sling.", "Buffy: He was only out for a few minutes. Longest of my life.", "Willow: (shakes her head) I will never forget that thing's face. Its *real* face, I mean.", "Giles: Yes.", "Buffy: (to Giles) I don't know how you managed. (he looks up at her) It was the bravest thing I've ever seen.", "Giles: (grins) Stupidest. He turns his face revealing several nasty scratches across his left cheek, ear and neck.", "Giles: But the world continues to turn.", "Willow: No one will ever know how close it came to stopping. Never know what we did.", "Xander: (finds them) Guys...", "Willow: Xander. Boy, you're lucky you weren't at school last night. It was crazed.", "Xander: (shrugs) Well, uh, gimme the quiet life. (grins) I'm gonna grab a snack. Anyone want?", "Giles: (quietly) No, thank you.", "Xander: Oz?", "Oz: No. I'm oddly full today.", "Xander: Okay. He goes to get his snack, but runs into Cordelia, who is eager to begin the game again.", "Cordelia: Ooo, look, it's Mr. Excitement. On another life-or-death doughnut mission, or are we just cruising for bimbos again, giving them lessons in lack of cool? He just smiles at her. If only she knew. Of course, she doesn't have a clue.", "Cordelia: What? He smiles more broadly and just walks past her.", "Cordelia: (unnerved) What? Xander just keeps walking away, never looking back.", "Cordelia: (insistently) What?!" ]

[ "The Slayers get a new Watcher, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce ( Alexis Denisof ). The girls are having a wild night at The Bronze, where Angel brings info on the whereabouts of the demon, Balthazar ( Christian Clemenson )." ]

[ "Prologue: A Sunnydale cemetery. Faith and Buffy both fall backwards onto the mound of a fresh grave, fighting a pair of leather-uniformed vampires. But this doesn't stop Faith from wanting to continue her conversation with Buffy.", "Faith: (to Buffy, struggling) So, what, you're telling me never?!", "Buffy: (also struggling) Faith! Really, now is not the time!", "Faith: I'm curious! Never ever?! The two Slayers both kick up with their legs and send the vampires rolling over and off of them, and then do back rolls up to a standing position.", "Faith: (to Buffy) Come on, really. All this time, and not even once? She blocks a high punch from her assailant, grabs onto his shoulder and flips him forward. He lands hard on his back.", "Buffy: How many times do I have to say it? She ducks a swing.", "Buffy: I have never... She does a backhand punch at her attacker.", "Buffy: ...done it... The vampire staggers backward into a lamppost from the force of her punch. Buffy does a full spin toward him.", "Buffy: ...with Xander! She jams her stake home, and the demon bursts into ashes. Buffy looks over at Faith, still fighting.", "Buffy: He's just a friend. Faith leaps at her assailant, does a log roll in midair and comes down hard on him with her knee digging into his back, shoving him into the ground. She raises her stake and plunges it into his back, dusting him instantly. She gets up and steps over to meet up with Buffy.", "Faith: So? What are friends for? I mean, I'm sorry, (smiles sexily) it's just, all this sweating-nightly, side-by-side action, and you never put in for a little after-hours (thrusts her pelvis forward and grunts)?", "Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) Thanks for the poetry. And, no. I love Xander. I just don't... *love* Xander. (looks at the ground) Besides, I think it ruins friendship to do that stuff. She takes a closer look at the boot prints on the muddy ground.", "Faith: You think too much. (starts to leave)", "Buffy: (grabs Faith's arm, looking down) Hey. There's one more.", "Faith: How do you know?", "Buffy: I think too much. The two of them start to walk, following the extra set of prints, which lead behind a gravestone.", "Buffy: (quietly) Okay. Count of three. One... Faith jumps ahead and shoulder-rolls over the gravestone. The vampire isn't there, but he comes running at her. He is also dressed in the leather uniform. Buffy disapprovingly watches the fight start.", "Buffy: Three. Faith tries to do a roundhouse kick at the vampire, but he catches her leg right before it connects with his head. He grabs her shoulder, spins halfway around and throws her against a tall gravestone. She hits the ground hard and immediately starts to get back up. Buffy runs around them to catch the demon from behind as he looks down at Faith and pulls out two swords, one with a long blade, the other short. He hears Buffy coming, though, and spins his head around to see her. She stops in her tracks, holding her stake up in her hand. The vampire swings his long sword in a wide arc and slices off the tip of the stake. Buffy jumps in surprise, but quickly drops what's left of the stake as the vampire swings his sword down on her. She high blocks the attack with her left arm, grabs his left arm with her right hand, grabs his right arm with her left hand and brings both of his arms down hard, forcing him to drop the swords. She high punches him in the head and tries to follow up with a double roundhouse kick with alternating legs. The vampire knife-hand blocks both kicks. He gains the upper hand, grabbing Buffy by the shoulders and tries to get in closer for a bite. She struggles to keep him at bay. Finally Faith runs up behind him and thrusts her stake into his back. He screams and throws up his hands, then crumbles to ashes between the two girls, leaving Faith smiling at Buffy, and Buffy leaning against a gravestone catching her breath. Faith takes a step toward her, raising her hand for a high five.", "Faith: Nicely diverted, B! She stops mid-step when Buffy doesn't return the gesture.", "Buffy: (panting) Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention Span.", "Faith: (sighs and turns to go) This isn't a Tupperware Party. It's a little hard to plan.", "Buffy: (follows) The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.", "Faith: (stops and faces Buffy) Hey, they're toast and we're here, so it couldn't have been too bad, right? (checks her arm) Who were those guys, anyways?", "Buffy: I don't know. (sniffs) They didn't seem local. (looks where the swords were) Look, why don't we grab the weapons. Maybe Giles... The swords aren't there anymore. Buffy gives Faith a confused look.", "Cut to the Mayor's office. Mr. Trick drops the two swords on his desk.", "Trick: Check these out. The Mayor is busy reading the funnies, and ignores him while he finishes reading his favorite strip.", "Mayor Wilkins: (chuckles and shakes his head) I, I just love the Family Circus! That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful. He drops the paper on his desk. Allan gives him an acknowledging nod and weak smile. The Mayor now looks at the swords lying on his desk.", "Mayor Wilkins: Well... I haven't seen anything like this in, uh... (looks up at Allan) Well, a good long while. (to Trick) Where's the owner of these fine implements?", "Trick: The common term is 'slain'. But I've been seeing this breed around. Are we expecting any trouble?", "Mayor Wilkins: (smiles up at Trick) Do you like Family Circus?", "Trick: (seriously) I like Marmaduke.", "Mayor Wilkins: (disgusted) Oh! (shivers) Eww! He's always on the furniture. Unsanitary.", "Trick: Nobody can tell Marmaduke what to do. (grins) That's my kinda dog.", "Allan: (smiling eagerly) I like to read Cathy. Mr. Trick and the Mayor both give him a look. Allan swallows nervously.", "Allan: So, uh, what ab-bout these swords? W-what should we do about that?", "Mayor Wilkins: (inspects them) Well, let's just keep an eye out. We've got the dedication coming up in a few days. We certainly can't have anything interfering with that.", "Allan: (fidgeting) Well, maybe we should postpone the... the-the dedication. The Mayor gives him an incredulous look. Trick looks at him intensely.", "Trick: I believe the Honorable Mayor *hates* that idea.", "Mayor Wilkins: (stands up) The dedication... (walks toward the liquor cabinet) is the final step before my Ascension. (Allan jumps out of his way) I have waited longer than you can imagine for this. (opens the cabinet, opens a box of moist towelettes) After the Hundred Days, (pulls out a towelette) I'll be on a higher plane. (steps back to Allan, wiping his hands) And I'll have no more need for... (folds up the used towelette) Well, let's just say I won't be concerned... with the little things. (holds it up to Allan, who takes it, and goes back to his desk.) Mr. Trick, watch these people. Anything you find out about them, well, let's just see that that information reaches the Slayers. (takes the short sword from Trick, looks it over) Who knows? With any luck, they'll kill each other. Then everyone's a winner. (looks at Allan) Everyone, of course, meaning me. (chuckles) Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School.", "Xander: Willow, what are these?", "Willow: They're early admission packets.", "Cut to the student lounge. Xander and Oz are sitting on one of the couches across from Willow and Buffy on the other. The table between them is piled up with college acceptance letters and application forms. Xander goes through a stack of them, reading off the university names.", "Xander: Harvard... Yale... Wesleyan... Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh... (tries to read it) I can't pronounce. (drops the packets, leans back) Is anyone else intimidated? (looks at Oz) 'Cause I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon.", "Oz: They're typing those now.", "Xander: (nods) Hmm. Willow and Buffy are paging through some of the brochures.", "Willow: (smiling) I'm so overwhelmed! I-I got in! To actual colleges! And, a-and they're wooing me! They're pitching woo!", "Buffy: (smiles) The wooing stage is always fun.", "Willow: (sighs) But it's weird. Now, rejection I can handle 'cause of the years of training, but this...", "Xander: I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the, uh, Corndog Emporium, so... He crosses his fingers and then holds his hands together in a sarcastic gesture of prayer. Buffy gives him a giggle.", "Buffy: Well, I think it's great. Early admission. (to Willow) Now there's nothing standing between you and a brilliant future.", "Oz: Well, if I may suggest, graduate. Gettin' left back: not the thrill ride you'd expect. Cordelia approaches from behind the boys.", "Cordelia: That's so cute! Planning life as a loser? (Xander glances up at her) Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge.", "Xander: The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everyone. (looks up at her) Who, uh, incidentally, won't be needing a higher education when she markets her own very successful line of hooker wear. He checks out her outfit, which is typically revealing.", "Cordelia: Well, Xander, I could dress more like you, but, (in mock sympathy) oh, my father has a job. She immediately leaves. Xander watches her go, once again having nothing to say.", "Xander: I'm not gonna waste the perfect comeback on you now. (points at her) But don't think I don't have it. (miffed) Oh, yes! Its time will come! He turns back to the group and pretends Cordelia doesn't exist.", "Xander: So, life beyond high school. (fishes for sympathy) Anyone, please... chime in.", "Buffy: I hear it's nice. And a place I'll never go if I don't pass Mrs. Taggart's chemistry test tomorrow. (looks at Willow)", "Willow: Oh! I can help. Chemistry's easy. It's a lot like witchcraft, only less newt. So whadaya say? Study jam, my house, tonight?", "Buffy: I'm there. The bell rings, and they all get ready to go to class.", "Buffy: Oh. I have to go see Giles, report on last night's patrol.", "Willow: Oh, yeah. He said he wanted to talk to you.", "Buffy: What about? Is he okay?", "Willow: (slightly concerned) He's looked better.", "Cut to the library. Giles is sitting on the study table facing the doors with his arms crossed and looking very bored while a somewhat foppish, well tailored young man goes through some books in a box on the table.", "Wesley: Of course, training procedures have been updated quite a bit since your day. Much greater emphasis on field work.", "Giles: (very bored) Really?", "Wesley: Oh, yes. (walks around to another box) Not all books and theory nowadays. (reaches in for some books) I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.", "Giles: (uncrosses his arms) Well, no danger of finding those here.", "Wesley: (looks up) Vampires?", "Giles: Controlled circumstances. (sees Buffy enter) Hello, Buffy. Wesley overhears, looks at her and smiles condescendingly.", "Wesley: Well... (steps to the head of the table) Hello. (smiles smugly) Buffy gives him a quick look up and down.", "Buffy: (to Giles) New Watcher?", "Giles: New Watcher. Wesley takes a step toward her and holds out his hand in greeting.", "Wesley: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. Buffy makes no move to return the gesture, but continues to eye him critically. A moment later he steps back again.", "Wesley: It's very nice to meet you. Buffy steps over to Giles, never removing her eyes from Wesley.", "Buffy: Is he evil?", "Wesley: (perplexed) Evil?", "Buffy: The last one was evil.", "Wesley: (thoughtfully) Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No. Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and phoned the Council, but I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. (takes a secretive step toward her) A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer. (steps back)", "Buffy: (to Giles) Is he evil?", "Giles: Not in the strictest sense.", "Wesley: Well, I'm glad that's cleared up. (walks around the table) As I'm sure none of us is anxious to waste any time on pleasantries, (picks up his Watcher diary) why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol. (flips to a blank page)", "Buffy: Vampires.", "Wesley: (inquiringly) Yes?", "Buffy: Killed 'em.", "Wesley: (fishing for details) Anything else you can tell me? Buffy glances at Giles. He nods that she should cooperate.", "Buffy: Uh... (thinks) One of them had swords. I don't think he was with the other two.", "Wesley: (something clicks) Swords? He sets down his diary, goes back to his box of books and begins to rifle through them.", "Wesley: Swords... He finds the book he wants and begins to leaf through it.", "Wesley: One long, one short?", "Buffy: Mmm. Both pointy. (to Giles) With, like, jewels and things.", "Giles: Sounds familiar.", "Wesley: (comes back with the book) It should. He holds it out in front of Giles, who takes it and reads.", "Giles: El Eliminati. Fifteenth Century...", "Wesley: (interrupts) Fifteenth Century duelist cult, deadly in their day. Their numbers dwindled in later centuries due to an increase in anti-vampire activity and a lot of pointless dueling. Buffy and Giles both look up at him, surprised by his rudeness.", "Wesley: They eventually became the acolytes of a demon called Balthazar, who brought them to the New World, specifically here.", "Giles: (closes the book, hands it back) You seem to know a lot about them.", "Wesley: I didn't get this job because of my looks. (goes back to his box)", "Buffy: I really, really believe that. (nods)", "Wesley: (looks at her snidely) I've researched this town's history extensively.", "Giles: So why have we not seen them before this?", "Wesley: (comes back) They were driven out a hundred years ago. Happily, Balthazar was killed. I don't know by whom.", "Buffy: And they're back 'cause...?", "Wesley: Balthazar had an amulet purported to give him strength. When he was killed, it was taken by a wealthy landowner named... (sees their looks) I don't want to bore you with the details.", "Buffy: A little bit late.", "Wesley: ...named Gleaves. It was buried with him, and I believe the few remaining Eliminati are probably looking for it. For sentimental value.", "Giles: A-and you don't think that this, uh, amulet poses any threat?", "Wesley: (steps back to his box) Oh, no, not at all. Nonetheless, we may as well keep it from them. Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet. (reaches in)", "Buffy: I will?", "Wesley: (pauses) Are you not used to being given orders?", "Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie. She grins at Giles, who smiles back modestly.", "Wesley: (comes back) I don't feel we're getting off on quite the right foot. Just then they hear footsteps, and look up to see Faith walk in.", "Wesley: Ah. This is perhaps Faith. Faith stops and critically looks Wesley up and down.", "Faith: New Watcher?", "Buffy and Giles: New Watcher.", "Faith: (snickers) Screw that. She turns right around and walks out. Wesley feels put off.", "Buffy: (to Giles) Now, why didn't *I* just say that?", "Giles: (gently) Uh, Buffy, would you...", "Buffy: I'll see if I can get her back. (slips off of the table and walks out) Don't say anything terribly interesting while I'm gone. Wesley watches her go. He and Giles both reach into their pockets for handkerchiefs, take off their glasses and begin to clean them.", "Wesley: They'll get used to me. Giles notices their tandem actions, immediately stops cleaning and puts his glasses back on before Wesley has a chance to turn around. When he does, Giles just smiles up at him, covering his handkerchief with his hands.", "Cut to the quad. Buffy catches up with Faith as they come walking around a corner.", "Buffy: Faith, wait. Look, I know this new guy's a dork, but... (pauses) Well, I have nothing to follow that. He's pretty much just a dork.", "Faith: You're actually gonna take orders from him?", "Buffy: That's the job. What else can we do?", "Faith: Whatever we want. We're Slayers, girlfriend, the Chosen Two. Why should we let *him* take all the fun out of it?", "Buffy: Oh, that would be tragic, taking the fun out of slaying, stabbing, beheading.", "Faith: Oh, like you don't dig it.", "Buffy: (shrugs) I don't.", "Faith: You're a liar. I've *seen* you. Tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced. Come on, say it. She stops and folds her arms, waiting for Buffy's answer. Buffy can't help but smile, and looks down to hide it.", "Faith: (laughs) You can't fool me. The look in your eyes right after a kill? You just get hungry for more.", "Buffy: (shakes her head) You're way off base.", "Faith: Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while, you just start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good (grunts and punches)!", "Buffy: Again with the grunting. You realize I'm not comfortable with this.", "Faith: Hey, slaying's what we were built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong. (starts to leave)", "Buffy: (sighs) What about the assignment?", "Faith: (looks back) Tell you what: (points) you do the homework, and I'll copy yours. (grins and goes)", "Cut to the Gleaves Family Crypt that night. Buffy slowly walks up to it and turns on her Maglite. She steps up to the door and opens it. Cut inside. The large room is dark and dusty. In the center are two stone coffins. There are several drawers on one wall and a few urns on shelves. Buffy takes the steps down into the room and goes to the first coffin. She pushes the heavy lid aside and looks into it with the flashlight. All that's left of the body is the skeleton and a pile of hair and fibers.", "Buffy: Strike one. No amulet there. She goes to the next coffin and pushes its lid aside. The body in this one has dried out and looks mummified. The clothes are still more or less intact, and around its neck hangs the amulet.", "Buffy: Game over. She reaches in for it, but jerks back up when she hears noises coming from outside. Through the door she sees torches coming closer and hears voices. She quickly jumps up onto the first coffin, rolls into it and twists off her Maglite just as Vincent, the leader of the Eliminati, pushes the door open. He looks around, but doesn't notice when Buffy pulls the lid of the coffin back into place. Vincent walks down the stairs and goes over to the open coffin. His troops follow him. Inside her coffin, Buffy looks over at the skull beside her, but remains quiet. Vincent looks into the open coffin, sees the amulet and yanks it from the body's neck. He takes a good look at it and smiles at his troops, indicating success for their mission. In the other coffin Buffy remains absolutely still. The Eliminati start to make their way out. When Buffy hears the door close she pushes the lid back open and climbs out, only to be startled by Faith's hand on her shoulder.", "Buffy: Faith!", "Faith: What are you doing, hiding in there?", "Buffy: Looking for the amulet. Wasn't counting on the Special Guest Stars. Six against one. (gestures at the coffin) Hence the hiding.", "Faith: Well, it's six against two now, so come on. She rushes out of the crypt. Buffy climbs out of the coffin and follows her out. Cut outside. They come out in time to see the last two Eliminati jump down through a manhole into the sewers below. Faith makes tracks for it.", "Buffy: Wait. Stop. Think!", "Faith: (stops, defiantly) No, no, no! (starts again)", "Buffy: (chases her) It's a manhole. Tight space, no escape, six against two, not unlike three against one.", "Faith: And there might be more, (grabs Buffy's arm) so come on. (lets go)", "Buffy: You're just gonna go down there. That's your plan.", "Faith: Who said I had a plan? I don't know how many's down there, but I wanna find out. And I'll know when I land. If you don't come in after me, (shrugs and smiles) I might die! Without any further hesitation she jumps in. Buffy can't believe it, but realizes she can't let her do it alone, and jumps in after her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Wesley is at the study table going through a mass of books. Giles paces nervously.", "Wesley: These are all the diaries, then? Yours included?", "Giles: (in a worried tone) That's everything. Knock yourself out. Please?", "Wesley: (flips through Giles' diary) Oh, yes! Here's your first entry. 'Slayer is willful and insolent.' (smirks) That would be our girl, wouldn't it?", "Giles: (continues pacing, takes off his glasses) Well, you have to get to know her.", "Wesley: Mm. (reads) 'Her abuse of the English language is such that I understand only every other sentence.' (looks up) Oh, this is going to make fascinating reading.", "Giles: (checks his watch) She should be back by now.", "Wesley: (checks his watch) Not to fret. (reaches for a mint) My mission scenario has her back in one minute. (pops the mint) Shouldn't be any trouble.", "Cut to the sewers. Buffy and Faith have their hands full fighting the Eliminati. Buffy does a low front snap kick to one of them on the ground. Faith backhand punches another, and his head snaps hard to the side. Buffy grabs yet another and shoves him aside.", "Buffy: We're surrounded!", "Faith: You noticed that, too?! Faith backhand punches another Eliminatus. Buffy ducks a vampire's swing and does a roundhouse kick to the back of his knee, making him collapse to the floor. Faith sidesteps her attacker, grabs his arm, swings him around and throws him toward a wall. Buffy does a full spinning hook kick to an incoming vampire and follows up with a roundhouse kick to his head. Another one comes at her from the side and tries to bring his sword down on her from above, but she steps back in time, and it just clangs on the floor. Faith throws her vampire up against a wall, and he collapses to the floor. She does a half-spinning hook kick to another Eliminatus behind her, and he falls dazed onto a raised area. Another vampire jumps up onto it and leaps at Faith. She sidesteps him and pulls him down over the other one. Buffy does a back elbow jab at a vampire's face, causing him to step backwards and trip over a fallen vampire. Another one jumps into the fray and tries to punch her, but she middle blocks him, grabs onto his arm and throws him up against the rock wall. He tries to come at her again, but she side kicks him soundly in the gut, forcing him back up against the wall. The Eliminatus who was down is up again, and she front snap kicks him, knocking him hard onto his back. Faith turns around just in time to get punched in the face by Vincent. He tries to punch her again, but she ducks it and rises back up to roundhouse kick him in the side of the head. Buffy blocks two punches from the vampire against the wall and punches him in the face and again in the gut. He goes down. Faith does a half spinning, jumping out-to-in crescent kick to the head of one of them. Then she high blocks a punch from one behind her. Buffy gets a roundhouse kick in the head and falls to the ground by a pool of water. Her attacker advances on her, and she roundhouse kicks him in the back of the knee, making him lose his balance. Faith punches one in the head, but he comes back with a punch to Faith's gut and grabs her.", "Faith: Lemme go! He shoves her hard against a concrete wall. Buffy sees her predicament and throws her stake into the vampire's back as she gets up from the floor. He bursts into ashes. Faith gives Buffy a smile. However, with her attention on Faith, Buffy doesn't notice the one behind her, and he grabs her and holds her still for Vincent. He holds out his long sword, pointing it at her chest.", "Vincent: Let's settle this honorably. Buffy jumps up against the one holding her and does an out-to-in low crescent kick, knocking the sword out of Vincent's hand. It goes flying into the pool of water. Then she shrugs off the one holding her, and he falls to the floor. Vincent grabs hold of her, though, and tries to thrust at her with his short sword. She jerks out of the way in time and grabs hold of his arm, but he uses this to his advantage and grabs her around the back with his other arm, pinning her against the edge of the pool.", "Vincent: Well, then, let's just settle it. He dunks her head into the water. She struggles to get back up, but can't get a good grip on anything in the filthy water. In the meantime, another vampire gets Faith in a full Nelson hold. She sees Buffy struggling in the water.", "Faith: Buffy! (struggles with her assailant) You son of a bitch! Vincent keeps holding Buffy's head under water. She struggles valiantly to get up, but just can't. It isn't much longer before she starts to get weak from lack of oxygen and stops struggling, apparently passing out. Vincent holds her under for another few seconds, then lets go and turns his attention to Faith. Buffy remains motionless in the water. Vincent grins widely at Faith, who keeps struggling, but to no avail. Suddenly Buffy leaps up, Vincent's long sword in hand, and swings it around at his head. He's too quick, though, and ducks it, but is left off balance in a crouch.", "Buffy: I hate it when they drown me. She swings at him again, but he reacts instantly, somersaulting out of the way and back to his feet. He faces her wielding his short sword. She makes quick work of it, knocking it out of his hand with her first swing. She swings at him again widely, but he manages to dodge her. Faith breaks out of the Nelson hold, spins around and punches the vampire in the face. He staggers against the wall. She grabs him and pulls him around, and he flies up and over the small raised area.", "Faith: B! Gotta go! Buffy misses another swing, but has a determined look on her face.", "Buffy: We came for the amulet. She jabs the sword straight at Vincent, getting the tip right between the chain holding the amulet at his waist. She lifts the sword, drawing the chain out from under his belt, and it slides down the length of the blade to the hilt. Vincent is freaked by her accuracy and hightails it out of there. Buffy pulls the amulet from the sword and holds it in her hand. Faith comes up next to her.", "Faith: (breathing heavily) Tell me you don't get off on this!", "Buffy: (smiles at the amulet) It didn't suck.", "Cut to the library. Wesley has the amulet in hand and inspects it under a magnifying glass. Giles stands in his office doorway.", "Wesley: Well... Looks authentic enough. (looks up) Of course, there are tests to be made before actual verification.", "Buffy: How about verifying that your 'nearly extinct' cult was out in magnum force last night? Faith and I got into a serious party situation.", "Giles: Are you alright?", "Buffy: I had to lather, rinse, and repeat about five million times to get the sewer out of my hair, but otherwise, I'm of the good. Thank you for asking. She gives Wesley a look, making it very clear he should have asked as well.", "Wesley: Perhaps there were a few more than we'd anticipated, but I'd expect you to be ready for anything. (looks her in the eye) Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.", "Buffy: That's one word three times. The school bell rings. Buffy gets up.", "Buffy: I have a chem test. So sad that I'm actually happy about that. (starts out) Giles, we need to talk.", "Wesley: (stands up pompously) Buffy... (she stops, but doesn't face him) I must ask you to remember that I am your Watcher. (she faces him) From now on, anything you have to say about slaying you will say to me. The only thing you need discuss with Mr. Giles is overdue book fees. Understood?", "Buffy: (turns to Giles) We'll talk.", "Giles: Of course. Buffy leaves for her test.", "Wesley: (to Giles) You're not helping.", "Giles: (dripping with sarcasm) No. I feel just sick about it. He takes off his glasses and goes into his office. Wesley is incensed.", "Cut to chemistry class. Mrs. Taggart passes out the exam booklets. Buffy is at the second to last table by the windows. She is twisted around in her seat, talking quietly to Willow and Xander, who are sitting at the last table.", "Buffy: It was intense. It was like I just... let go and became this force. I just didn't care anymore.", "Willow: Yeah, I know what that's like.", "Buffy: I don't think you can! It's kind of a Slayer thing. I don't even think I'm explaining it well.", "Xander: You're explaining it a lot, though. Mrs. Taggart hands Xander and Willow their tests. Buffy turns around.", "Mrs. Taggart: Alright. You have one period to fill out your test booklets. Periodic charts are located on the back. (walks toward the front) You're on the honor system, so remember, no talking. Buffy turns back to Willow and Xander.", "Buffy: You see, the thing was, Faith knew I didn't even wanna go down there...", "Mrs. Taggart: (interrupts) Ahem. Ms. Summers? Buffy faces the front and gestures that she's buttoning her lips now.", "Mrs. Taggart: (to the class) You have one hour. She gives Buffy another look and then leaves the room. Buffy immediately turns back to Willow and Xander.", "Buffy: Okay, so the best part...", "Willow: (interrupts, concerned) Buffy. Test? You know. Remember? The thing you didn't come over to study for?", "Buffy: (seems to get it) Right. Got it. She turns back to her test, but can't resist, and turns around again.", "Buffy: (smiles) Sorry. Okay, so we're down there, in the sewers, and Faith (Xander's eye twitches) got three of them on her at once...", "Xander: Hey! Whoa! Can we resume Buffy's 'Ode to Faith' later, like when I'm not actively multiple-choicing?", "Buffy: (realizes) How come your eye twitches every time I say Faith's name?", "Xander: (twitches his eye) (defensively) What? (chuckles) No, it doesn't. Buffy leans in closer to him, her eyes intently watching his face.", "Buffy: Faith. His eye twitches, and he slaps his hand over it.", "Xander: Cut it out! We got a test to take, okay? And I'm highly caffeinated, and I'm trying to concentrate. Some of us actually care about school. You know. Buffy looks to Willow, but she's concentrating on her test. Buffy finally realizes that she's not going to be allowed to continue her story, and settles down to take her test. She opens the booklet, but is interrupted, along with the rest of the class, by Faith rapping on the window pane trying to get Buffy's attention. Faith lifts the sash and leans in.", "Faith: (smiles) Hey, girlfriend. (looks around) Bad time? She leans over to the next window, wipes the dust from it with her sleeve, exhales to fog it and uses her index fingers to draw a heart with a stake through it. She looks at Buffy, smiles and bounces her eyebrows. Buffy considers for only a moment before deciding to blow off the test. She slides down from her lab stool and heads for the window. Willow and Xander are shocked.", "Willow: No, sh-she can't! Faith smiles and leans back in to wait for her partner.", "Willow: Y-you can't! Can you? Buffy ignores her and climbs out of the window. Faith lowers the sash after Buffy has climbed out. Willow can't believe what just happened. Cut outside. The Slayers walk away from the building.", "Buffy: What's up?", "Faith: Vampires.", "Buffy: Uh, Faith, unless there's a total eclipse in the next five minutes, it's daylight.", "Faith: Good for us, bad for them. Found a nest.", "Buffy: (smiles, suddenly comprehending) Has potential.", "Cut to the vampire nest. It's gloomy. Only a few rays of sunlight are getting in. There are vampires lying all over the floor waiting out the day. Buffy and Faith kick in the door. Bright sunlight washes in and onto one of them, who quickly bursts into flames. The lot of them scramble to their feet and begin to run. The Slayers smile into the nest.", "Faith: Rise and shine, people.", "Buffy: It's your wake-up call. They both pull out stakes and run in for a good fight.", "Cut to the Bronze that evening. Faith and Buffy are on the dance floor gyrating to the hard techno sound of \"Chinese Burn\", performed by Curve. Three boys come over to them and dance around them. The camera shows a brief view from above of the two girls surrounded by the boys. They pretty much ignore the guys and just hump the air around them. Angel walks under the stairs to the edge of the dance floor and stops to watch, a look of deep concern on his face. The camera shows another brief shot of them from above. Eventually Buffy notices Angel standing at the side. When he sees her notice he makes a move to go. Buffy squeezes out from the crowd to go to him. Faith doesn't miss a beat and starts to paw at the boys, keeping them well entertained.", "Lyrics: She burns friends like a piece of wood When Buffy reaches Angel she jumps up on him and wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. Angel supports her at the waist.", "Buffy: Hey! You're not leaving, are you?", "Lyrics: And she's jealous of me because she never could", "Angel: (glances over at Faith and the boys) I saw you making friends.", "Buffy: (glances dismissingly) Them?", "Lyrics: Hold herself up without a spine", "Buffy: (faces him, smiling) Boys! I like you.", "Lyrics: And she'll look me up when she's doing fine Angel reacts in his usual somber way. Buffy hops down off of him.", "Buffy: (coyly teasing) What's the matter? You're not afraid of little me, are ya?", "Angel: (seriously) We better sit down. Come on. He leads her away to a small alcove behind the stairs.", "Buffy: I can sense this is a business trip. Angel sits. Buffy plops down next to him.", "Buffy: (flippantly) What's the what?", "Angel: Balthazar.", "Buffy: (snuggles close to him) Dead demon.", "Angel: Not as dead as you think. He gets up and sits across from her, putting some distance between them.", "Angel: Word on the street puts him in the packing warehouse on Devereau. He's looking for...", "Buffy: His amulet. It's supposed to restore his strength.", "Angel: From what I'm hearing, that's not something we'd like to see happen.", "Buffy: No problem. We got the amulet.", "Angel: I know. I spoke to Giles, but he said you gave it to someone. Wesley pokes his head around the stairs and finds them.", "Wesley: (points accusingly) Ah. There you are.", "Buffy: (mockingly) Ah. Speak of the really annoying person.", "Wesley: (looks around) You're certainly giving me a run for my money. (sits next to her, whispers) I think we ought to establish that if you're going to go out slaying, you leave me a number where I can contact you.", "Angel: Where's the amulet? Wesley snaps his head around and looks at Angel in surprise.", "Wesley: Who are you?", "Angel: A friend. Do you have it?", "Wesley: (smugly) It's somewhere safe. Buffy looks at his jacket, reaches in and pulls out the amulet.", "Wesley: How did you know?", "Buffy: It pooches your jacket. She tosses it to Angel.", "Wesley: (protests) Now, hang on a minute...", "Angel: (holds it up) Walking around with this thing is like wearing a target.", "Buffy: You're gonna put it somewhere safe (to Wesley) that's actually safe?", "Angel: (stands up) Yeah. I'll do it now.", "Buffy: (stands also) I'll do some recon on Balthazar.", "Wesley: (joins them in standing) (incredulously) If I may... Balthazar is dead. Am I the only one that remembers that? They ignore him. Angel leans over and gives Buffy a kiss.", "Angel: Be careful.", "Buffy: You know me.", "Angel: (sternly) I mean it. They both go in opposite directions, leaving Wesley behind and very confused.", "Wesley: What's going on? Buffy walks onto the dance floor and grabs Faith. She pulls her out of the crowd and toward the door. Faith lets herself be led away, but points back at the boys.", "Faith: Call me! The guys are bummed to see her go.", "Cut to the packing warehouse.", "Balthazar: Let me tell you what I see. Cut inside. Balthazar is enormously obese with very pale, pasty, slimy skin. He sits suspended in a tank of filthy water, while one of the Eliminati pours ladle after ladle of it over him in an effort to keep his skin moist.", "Balthazar: I see fear... and remorse... and the pitiful look of faces that cry out for mercy! But what I *don't* see is what I *want* to see,", "AND THAT'S... MY... AMULET!", "Vampire: Lord Balthazar, we found it! We had it! But the Slayers...", "Balthazar: Already I'm bored.", "He holds out his hands, and the air between him and the vampires is suddenly disturbed. The vampire floats involuntarily over to Balthazar, who grabs his throat and squeezes until his neck breaks and he slumps lifelessly to the floor. Vincent watches, extremely worried that he may be next.", "Balthazar: Vincent... Come here. He wheezes hard as Vincent slowly approaches.", "Balthazar: Closer. Vincent leans toward him.", "Balthazar: Closer. Vincent leans close enough to be spat upon. Balthazar puts his hands on Vincent's shoulders.", "Balthazar: Let me tell you... what I want to see. Cut outside. Faith and Buffy look for the packing warehouse and find it. They look in through a crack in the door and see Balthazar surrounded by the Eliminati.", "Buffy: Okay, we got ten, maybe twelve bad guys and one big demon in desperate need of a Stairmaster.", "Faith: I say we take 'em all, hard and fast and now.", "Buffy: We need a little more firepower than none. We should head back to the library.", "Faith: Well, I guess Jacuzzi Boy isn't going anywhere. (looks around) I just... wish we had... Across the street at the end of the alley she sees Meyer's Sport and Tackle shop. She points Buffy in that direction.", "Faith: Ah. That is too good. They head for the store.", "Cut to the store. Faith kicks in the front door. Cut inside. They walk through quickly. looking for anything useful to them. Faith finds the Archery counter.", "Faith: Ah. Score. She spies a small crossbow, complete with 4x optical sights, on display beneath the glass countertop. She breaks the glass with her elbow, reaches in and pulls it out.", "Buffy: Think they're insured?", "Faith: Strangely, not my priority. (checks the trigger mechanism) When are ya gonna get this, B? Life for a Slayer is very simple: (walks to a vertical case) want... (breaks it) take... (reaches in for a set of nun- chucks) have. (stuffs them into her pants) Buffy seems a bit unsure, but changes her mind when she spies a case of hunting knives.", "Buffy: Want... (walks to the case) take... (stops in front of it) have. She punches the glass with her fist, and it breaks, disturbing a dagger, which she catches as it falls. She pulls her hand out and turns the blade over in her hand, smiling.", "Buffy: I'm gettin' it. Faith smiles, too, seeing that Buffy is finally coming around to her way of thinking. She turns around and sees a compound hunting bow under the glass of another display case, and kicks it in. Buffy just gives her a brief glance. Faith pulls the bow out and looks it over, then smiles at her partner in slayage. But before they can get any further, they are surprised by a gunshot. They spin around to see they've been caught by two police officers. They both have their service revolvers aimed at them.", "Officer: Drop the weapons and get down on the ground! Now!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside Meyer's Sport and Tackle. The police officer takes a step closer, eyeing the two girls.", "Officer: I said drop the weapons, or I fire. Buffy slowly reaches her hand out and sets the dagger on a counter. The officer is satisfied, and turns his attention to Faith. She gives in, but isn't as gentle with the hunting bow as Buffy was with the knife, simply extending her arm and tossing it aside. The two officers visibly relax a bit, but keep their guns up and ready.", "Officer: Now spread 'em.", "Faith: (haughtily) You wish. Buffy's eyes go wide with concern for what Faith might do. The officers tense up again.", "Officer: Hands in the air where I can see 'em. Slow! Faith smiles at him, but does as she's told and raises her arms over her head. Buffy raises hers as well, but just level to her shoulders.", "Officer: Good. (to his partner) Now cuff 'em. His partner holsters his gun and reaches into his belt for his cuffs. Faith checks out the one still holding the gun.", "Faith: (to Buffy, smiling sexily) I like him. He's butch. Cut inside the police car. Buffy and Faith are in the back seat with their hands cuffed behind their backs. A heavy steel mesh separates them from the officers in the front seat.", "Officer: That's some artillery you two were puttin' together. You with one of them girl gangs?", "Faith: (sarcastically) Yeah. We're the Slayers. The officer laughs. Faith doesn't think it's funny.", "Faith: (quietly to Buffy) You wanna get outta here? She slouches down in the seat. Buffy realizes what she intends, and isn't at all sure it's a good idea.", "Faith: (impatiently) We can't save the world in jail. Buffy sees the truth in that, and slowly slouches down also. Faith raises her legs, and Buffy follows her lead.", "Faith: (quietly) One, two... They both push-kick hard into the steel mesh, making it buckle and tear at the edges and hit the officers in the backs of their heads. The driver loses control of the car, and it swerves screechingly to the left and smashes into a parked car. The damage isn't terribly serious, but the police car's radiator has burst, and the steam rises thickly, obscuring the view. Both officers are unconscious. Buffy climbs out of the front passenger-side door. A moment later Faith comes out as well with one of the officer's keys. They turn back-to-back and fumble with the keys, trying to unlock the cuffs.", "Buffy: (looking at the officers) We should call an ambulance.", "Faith: Five people already have, the racket we made, and they're fine. She's right. One of them is already regaining consciousness. She gets the cuffs unlocked.", "Faith: Come on. Let's get outta here. She starts to run, but looks back when Buffy doesn't immediately follow.", "Faith: COME ON! Buffy sees the other officer start to come to as well. She looks around quickly a last time and runs after Faith.", "Cut to Buffy's house the next morning. Cut to the kitchen. Buffy enters through the back door, bringing the paper in with her. She is engrossed in an article, perhaps about the break-in and police car accident. Joyce walks in from the dining room.", "Joyce: Admit it. Buffy looks up surprised. Her mother leans on the island.", "Joyce: Some days don't you wanna just wake up and say to Hell with the diet? Wanna make waffles? Big Saturday brunch?", "Buffy: No, thanks. I'm not really that hungry. (turns the page) Joyce sighs and goes to the dish cabinet.", "Joyce: So, what did you and Faith do last night?", "Buffy: Nothing. Uh... (smiles thinly) Nothing really important.", "Joyce: (gets a coffee mug) Don't worry. (grabs the coffee pot) I'm not gonna meddle in your slaying. (pours a cup) Just as long as you're careful.", "Buffy: (engrossed in reading) I am. Joyce sees how she's concentrating and steps over to the island.", "Joyce: You sure about those waffles? Buffy looks up and closes the paper.", "Buffy: Yeah. But if you want them, I can help you make them.", "Joyce: No. (sighs) They only don't have calories if I make them for you. (Buffy doesn't get it) Mom logic. You, uh, done with the paper?", "Buffy: (gets up) Yeah. (leaves the kitchen)", "Joyce: (opens the paper) Let's see what's happening in Sunnydale.", "Cut to the Mayor's office. He poses with a troop of young Boy Scouts. They all have huge smiles on their faces. The photographer snaps the picture.", "Mayor Wilkins: There we go. The Scouts all file out of the office.", "Mayor Wilkins: Thanks a lot, fellas. Thanks a heap. He goes to the window, where the blinds are open, letting in plenty of light.", "Mayor Wilkins: Hey, have fun on that camping trip, now. Don't forget to roast a wiener for me. Allan shoos the last of the Scouts out and closes the door securely. The Mayor chuckles as he closes the blinds, then walks to the other window and closes them there, too.", "Mayor Wilkins: Here we go. Alright, you can come out now. The door to his private bathroom opens, and Mr. Trick comes back into the office.", "Mayor Wilkins: (shakes his finger at the office door, smiling) Backbone of America, those little guys. Seeing the hope and courage on their bright little faces, I swear I could just, I... I could just eat 'em up. (chuckles, heads for his liquor cabinet) So, any news about the Eliminati? He opens the cabinet, and out jumps Vincent. He grabs him by the neck, pushes him back and down over his desk and holds up his sword to attack.", "Vincent: In the name of Lord Balthazar, DIE! Before he can do anything else, Mr. Trick punches him in the forehead. Vincent falls backward onto the floor, unconscious. The Mayor coughs as he sits up on the edge of the desk and straightens his tie.", "Mayor Wilkins: Thank you, Mr. Trick. That was very thoughtful of you.", "Trick: Why do they always gotta be using swords? (picks it up, tosses it to Allan) It's called an Uzi, ya chump! Could have saved your ass right about now. Allan would rather not have the sword, and looks down at Vincent aghast.", "Mayor Wilkins: (to Allan, arms crossed) You know, it's curious how he could've gotten all the way into my liquor cabinet. (Allan looks up at him) Allan, don't we have, don't we have security working in this building?", "Allan: (scared and nervous) Sir, I... I had no idea. I-I...", "Mayor Wilkins: There's no need to swoon, Allan. But try to keep things secure. (looks down at Vincent) Lock him up. (goes to his chair)", "Trick: He wakes up, he's just gonna try and kill you again.", "Mayor Wilkins: (sits) (smugly) Yes. Yes, I expect he will.", "Cut to the packing warehouse. One of the Eliminati lifts the ladle and pours the water over Balthazar. The camera shifts focus onto the new leader of the Eliminati.", "Balthazar: Vincent made a noble effort. Man to man, as befits a true warrior. (wheezes) He had courage... He had honor... AND I HAVE *JACK* TO SHOW FOR IT! (calms a bit) It's been a hundred years since my enemy crippled me. Now ultimate power is within his grasp. And I shall *not* let it be! Forget about honor! Forget about everything! But getting my amulet! Bring the Watchers to me! Find the Slayers and kill them! Kill everything that gets in your way! GOOOOO! GOOOOO!", "Cut to Buffy's house.", "Buffy: Mmm.", "Willow: You like it?", "Cut to Buffy's room. She and Willow are sitting on her bed. Buffy is sniffing a small black felt pouch that Willow gave to her.", "Buffy: It smells good. What is it?", "Willow: (smiling proudly) Just a little something we witches like to call a protection spell.", "Buffy: Good deal, protection. (sniffs) I'm surprised, though, 'cause usually spell stuff's more...", "Willow: Stinky. Yeah. That's why I added lavender. Give me time, and I may be the first wicca to do all my conjuring in pine fresh scent. So what's the plan? Buffy gives her an inquiring look.", "Willow: For tonight's slayage. We're going, aren't we?", "Buffy: (wanting to avoid the subject) Yeah.", "Willow: (knowing there's more) Great!", "Buffy: (realizes she can't hide it) But... there's a 'but'. And that's 'but you shouldn't come... tonight.' Is that cool?", "Willow: (slightly hurt) Well, sure. Makes sense. You know... You'll be facing big, hairy danger.", "Buffy: (tries to justify it) Uh, b-biggest and very hairy.", "Willow: (fishes for more information) You'll be risking your life.", "Buffy: Right. And why risk yours?", "Willow: (glances down, then back up) Because I'm your friend?", "Buffy: I know, Will, and that's exactly why I don't want you going. It's, it's too dangerous.", "Willow: (protests) But I-I've done this sort of thing before! Like, a million times, and I can totally handle myself. Besides, (holds up her own felt pouch) minty fresh protection. So? There's a knock at the door. Faith opens it and comes in.", "Faith: Ready? Time to motor. Hey, Willow.", "Willow: (unenthused) Hi. (faces Buffy) Uh... Faith paces back toward the door.", "Buffy: (stands up, apologetic) I really should... But we'll hang out later, right?", "Willow: (trying to hide how hurt she is) Yeah. You, you go ahead. I'll just get my stuff. Buffy wants to say something, but changes her mind and just looks at her friend, giving her felt pouch a squeeze, and follows Faith out of the room. Willow watches her go, then looks down at her own pouch.", "Willow: Stupid... She throws the pouch down on the bed.", "Cut to an alley near the packing warehouse. Buffy and Faith come walking around a corner. Faith has the compound hunting bow with her, and gets an arrow ready.", "Faith: You're quiet tonight.", "Buffy: I just wanna get this done.", "Faith: Yeah. (smiling) I'm dying to test out the longbow. I think it might be my new thing.", "Buffy: I can't believe you went back for that stuff.", "Faith: Hey, how do you feel about getting some ribs? You know, after we're done? They are surprised by an Eliminatus doing a front tuck from above and landing in their way.", "Cut to Giles' office. Wesley checks out some of the pictures on the wall while Giles sits at his desk fidgeting with his glasses.", "Wesley: I didn't say you had emotional problems. (turns to Giles) I said you had *an* emotional problem. (condescendingly) It's quite different.", "Giles: (enunciating clearly) My 'attachment' to the Slayer is not a problem. In point of fact, it's been a very...", "Wesley: (interrupts) The way you've handled this assignment is something of an embarrassment to the council.", "Giles: (miffed) If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you're at it, don't criticize my methods. (puts on his glasses)", "Wesley: The fact is, you're no longer qualified to act as Watcher.", "(paces behind Giles, condescendingly) It's not your fault. You've done well. It's simply time for somebody else to take the field. (turns around)", "Giles looks at him, then past him through the window to the main area.", "Giles: Now's a good time to start. Wesley turns to look as well, and there they see four Eliminati come to take them to Balthazar.", "Cut to the alley. The vampire roars and comes at Buffy. She sidesteps him, grabs him and shoves him into the back of a truck. He comes at her again and does a front snap kick at Buffy, which she blocks. She returns with a roundhouse kick to his gut, knocking him to the pavement. Buffy jumps on him, and they begin to struggle. Another vampire joins in as Faith struggles with her bow, but they are in too close of quarters for her to use it against him.", "Faith: (to herself) Screw it! She drops the bow, but holds on to the arrow. She ducks a roundhouse kick from the demon, and the momentum of the kick without a hit makes him keep spinning before he lands. Faith does a side-kick to his side, and he staggers into the side of a truck. Faith comes at him with her arrow and plunges it home as he turns around to attack again. He bursts into ashes. Buffy gets up holding her stake, having just dusted hers as well.", "Faith: I think we've got more comin'! They start quickly in the direction of the packing warehouse.", "Buffy: We're never gonna make it to the warehouse.", "Faith: If they keep coming one at a time, we got a shot. Suddenly another Eliminatus lands in front of them and thrusts at Faith with his short sword. She reacts instantly, catching his arm and shoving him into a crate, then pulling him off and swinging him backward onto a pile of several chords of wood. Buffy steps right in and stakes him. He crumbles to ash. The two Slayers continue along the alley at a brisk pace. At the end of the building an arm reaches out and grabs Buffy by the shoulder. Instantly she grabs the man and throws him against a dumpster. Faith jumps right in to stake him. He slumps down to the ground, hurt by the impact against the heavy steel container. It's Allan, but Faith is too caught up in things and doesn't realize he's human.", "Buffy: FAITH, NO! Faith swings down with her stake and plunges it into Allan's heart, then pulls it out. Allan grabs his chest in pain and surprise. Blood pours out freely, pumped out by his now punctured, beating heart. Faith backs away as Buffy quickly gets down beside him to try to help him. Allan pulls his hands away and looks down at them covered in his own blood, shaking hard as he goes into shock. Buffy looks at the wound and sees its severity.", "Buffy: Don't move!", "Faith: (shocked) I didn't... I didn't know. I didn't know.", "Buffy: (to Faith behind her) We need to call 911, NOW! Faith is paralyzed with fear. Allan shakes even harder as the blood loss increases. He looks up at Buffy.", "Buffy: (to Allan) Don't move, i-it's okay... She tries to apply pressure to the wound, but the blood just keeps coming.", "Buffy: (to Faith) I-I need, I need something to stop the... Allan begins to convulse. His eyes go wide with the fear of death as blood begins to trickle from the corner of his mouth. He tries to say something, but can't get the words out. Buffy can only watch in despair, unable to help. Allan looks down at his chest one last time, then reaches up to Buffy, but his arm never makes it. It falls to his side, and his body relaxes against the dumpster, finally dead. His eyes remain wide open, staring up into nothing. Buffy stares back at him in open- mouthed horror. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The alley. Allan lies dead against the dumpster. Faith begins to panic.", "Faith: We gotta go! She grabs Buffy and pulls her up.", "Faith: Come on, we gotta go! They run from the scene. The camera cuts to Allan's face, still blankly staring into space, and pans down to his blood-soaked shirt and jacket.", "Cut to the Slayers running down an alley. Buffy stops to look back. Faith grabs her arm to get her to follow.", "Faith: Come on. She climbs up on some crates and jumps over a wall. Buffy decides to continue down the alley to a fence, and climbs over it instead. Cut into another alley. Buffy waits for a car to pass on the street and walks into the alley. There she is surprised by Angel coming out of the shadows.", "Buffy: Angel!", "Angel: Buffy, I've been looking for you. He notices that she's stressed out, then sees the blood on her hands. He takes one and holds it up to see. Buffy jerks it back.", "Angel: Your hand.", "Buffy: It's okay.", "Angel: I've just been to the warehouse. I was waiting for you. They got Giles. Buffy's face instantly washes over with worry.", "Cut to Allan's body. Faith slowly steps up to it. In the distance a police siren can be heard getting closer, then further away. Faith kneels down beside Allan and reaches out for the wound. She touches it and immediately yanks her hand back. She looks at him, her expression full of guilt and horror at making the worst mistake she possibly could: killing a human.", "Cut to the packing warehouse. Wesley and Giles are being held before Balthazar, but he's ignoring them for the moment as he insistently instructs the vampire with the ladle.", "Balthazar: The front! The front! Moisten the front! He groans as a ladle full of water is poured across his chest. Wesley and Giles watch in disgust.", "Wesley: (very nervous) Oh, God! (looks around desperately) Oh, God!", "Giles: (calmly) It doesn't seem too promising, does it?", "Wesley: (trying not to panic) Stay calm, Mr. Giles. We have to stay calm.", "Giles: (brimming over with sarcasm) Well, thank God you're here. I was planning to panic.", "Wesley: (looks at Balthazar) What *is* that thing?", "Giles: That would be your demon. You know, the dead one?", "Wesley: There's no need to get snippy. Balthazar finally turns his attention to the Watchers.", "Balthazar: Bring them closer. Two of the Eliminati grab them and shove them closer.", "Balthazar: You know what I want.", "Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now. He is hit hard in the back for his insolence.", "Giles: Ow.", "Wesley: (beginning to panic) Are you out of your mind? This is hardly the time for games!", "Giles: Why not? They're going to torture us to death anyway.", "Balthazar: (snickers happily) You're not wrong about that. (wheezes)", "Wesley: Now, hold on. We-we-we can deal with this rationally. We have something you want. You have something we want.", "Balthazar: Hmm... A trade. Intriguing. (considers) No. Wait. Boring. Pull off his kneecaps! Two of the vampires grab him.", "Wesley: (horrified) NOOO! No, no, no! (they let go, he caves) The Slayer g-gave it to someone. A tall man, a friend... a friend of hers. I can tell you everything.", "Giles: (under his breath) Quiet, you twerp! They'll kill us both.", "Wesley: (panicked) But I'd like to have my kneecaps.", "Balthazar: You will tell us everything!", "Wesley: Yes! Sir.", "Balthazar: What is this friend's name?", "Wesley: (at a loss) I didn't actually catch it.", "Giles: (tries to fake him out) Look, um, tell you what, let Captain Courageous here go, and I'll tell you what you need to know. How's that deal?", "Balthazar: THERE IS ONE DEAL! YOU WILL DIE QUICKLY, OR YOU WILL DIE", "SLOWLY! THE MAN WHO HAS MY AMULET! WHAT IS HIS NAAAME?!", "Angel: His name is Angel.", "He walks into their midst sporting his game face, and immediately grabs the two Eliminati holding Giles and Wesley, pulling them away and slamming one of them into a wall, the other into some metal shelves. Another one moves to take their place holding the Watchers, but Giles headbutts him, and he falls. Buffy jumps in now, too, coming from the other direction, backhand punches one vampire and punches another in the face. The first one raises his sword and tries to attack, but she blocks him and grabs his arm. She brings it down and knees him in the gut, making him drop his sword. Giles sees Buffy catch it, and turns his tied hands toward her. She swings the sword in a high arc and brings it down on the ropes binding his wrists, slicing them cleanly. The pieces fall to the floor as Giles grabs Wesley and pushes him out of harm's way. Buffy swings the sword back at the Eliminatus, but he catches her hand and swings the sword down against the edge of Balthazar's pool, forcing her to drop it. He does a backhand swing at Buffy's face, making her trip forward, but she returns with a back kick at him, and then shoulder rolls onto a large crate to avoid being sliced by another one's sword.", "Balthazar: (flailing his arms in a tantrum) Un... (sputters) Unacceptable! Angel ducks a swing from an Eliminatus and then does a right hook to his face and punches him hard in the gut. He turns around and backhand punches the one behind him, blocks a return swing and punches him again.", "Balthazar: (very displeased) UNACCEPTABLE! Out of the way of the fight, Giles unties Wesley's hands. Behind him a vampire roars, and he looks back in time to see and duck his sword. It hits on a shelf, and Giles grabs the blade and back elbows the vamp in the face, taking the sword from him. He swings it around and jams the hilt of the sword into his face as well, then spins around in time to take on another one. The Eliminatus swings his sword at Giles, who parries it with his own. The vampire swings again, and again Giles blocks it. The demon spins around and swings down from above, but again Giles has his sword up in time to block. He swings his arms around and down, forcing the Eliminatus' sword to the floor and making him bend down with it, and then knees him in the face. The vampire jerks backward and falls to the floor, dropping his sword. In the meantime, the one whose sword was taken away by Giles grabs Wesley from behind, pinning his arms behind his back.", "Wesley: Giles! Giles raises his sword and starts to swing it.", "Giles: DOWN! Wesley bends over fast, and the blade catches the vampire on the neck and slices through. The beheaded Eliminatus bursts into ashes. Wesley stands back up, shocked at what just happened. Buffy gets to her feet on a raised area of the floor. An Eliminatus comes at her with a sword, but she grabs his arm and pulls him past her over a crate and into a barrel. Another one swings at her, and she middle blocks him, punches him in the gut, ducks another swing and then backhand punches him in the face. He falls to the floor. Buffy picks him up and sends him spinning into a huge pile of rope. As he tries to come at her again, she does a full spinning wheel kick to his face. He quickly regains his balance and tries to punch her, but she redirects his fist and holds onto it while she elbows him in the face. She swings him around and throws him into a bunch of stacked oil barrels. Angel delivers a side kick to his attacker. Another one tries to front kick him, but he grabs his leg and throws him into a back layout. Another one comes for Buffy. She just grabs him by the arms and throws him from the raised floor to below. She blocks a roundhouse kick from another and nearly gets punched in the face. She punches him in the gut, and he doubles over, backing away a bit. This gives her room to fly into a double spinning out-to-in jumping crescent kick. The vampire flies upward spinning fast and lands hard on a crate, then rolls off onto the floor below. An Eliminatus gets Angel in the face with a jumping out-to-in crescent kick, but he's not fazed. Angel blocks a high punch from him, punches him in the gut, grabs onto him and throws him through the air and into a wall. Balthazar has had enough and holds out his arms. The air between him and Angel becomes disturbed, and Angel finds himself being sucked back toward him. He lands on his back on the edge of the pool. Balthazar seizes his head in both hands. Angel struggles to get away, but the grip is extremely tight. Buffy sees what's happening and looks for a way to help. She spies an electrical cable hanging down from a lamp directly above Balthazar. She grabs it and yanks hard, and the lamp falls from the roof with sparks flying right into the pool. Balthazar immediately lets go of Angel and writhes in agony as he is electrocuted. Giles and Wesley stare in amazement. Soon Balthazar seems dead and the circuit breakers shut off the power. Buffy rushes over to help Angel. He's shaken but fine. She looks at Balthazar and is startled when his eyes whip open and he takes a sudden breath.", "Balthazar: (weak and wheezing) Slayer! You think you've won. (chuckles and wheezes) When he rises... you'll wish I'd killed you all. He lets out his last breath and dies. Buffy looks at Angel, wondering what he meant.", "Cut to a room at City Hall. Mayor Wilkins is kneeling in an inverted pentagram with his hands out to his sides. Five candles are burning at each point. He recites a spell.", "Mayor Wilkins: Potestatem matris nostrae in tenebris invoco. Maledictum filium tuum abomni periculo custodias nunc et in saecula!", "Translation: Our mother of darkness, I summon thee. Curse now your dangerous accursed son and protect him into the new age! The building begins to shake. The Mayor remains still with his eyes closed and moves with the quake. Mr. Trick looks around nervously, as does Vincent who is locked in a cage. Soon it's over, and the Mayor opens his eyes and checks his watch.", "Mayor Wilkins: I don't understand why Allan would miss this. He's usually so punctual. (stands up)", "Trick: (wide-eyed) Did it work?", "Mayor Wilkins: Let's find out. Open the gate.", "Trick: You sure?", "Mayor Wilkins: Oh! Hold on. He trots over to Trick, takes Vincent's sword from him, sets it tip-down on the floor and lets it fall through the cage bars into Vincent's hands. The Mayor takes several steps back.", "Mayor Wilkins: Okay. Now we're ready. Trick steps around to the front of the cage, unlocks the padlock and removes the chains. The Mayor watches and waits calmly. Trick pulls open the door, and Vincent rushes out, heading straight for the Mayor. He raises his sword high and brings it down hard on the Mayor's head, slicing it in two. Amazingly, he does not bleed. The flesh inside just shimmers as Vincent pulls back his sword. The two halves of the Mayor's head pull toward each other and seal themselves together. He stands before Vincent as though he was completely untouched. Vincent can't believe his eyes and backs away. Mr. Trick waits behind him and stakes him through the back. He explodes into ashes.", "Mayor Wilkins: Well! He reaches into his jacket, pulls out his daily planner and opens it to today's list. Some of the things included are: Greet Scouts Lumber Union Reschedule Call Temp Agency Become Invincible Meeting With PTA Haircut He puts a check mark next to \"Become Invincible\" and puts the planner away. Trick comes up to him.", "Mayor Wilkins: This officially commences the Hundred Days. Nothing can harm me until the Ascension. (smiles wide and laughs) Gosh, I'm feeling chipper! (keeps laughing) Who's for a root beer?! He turns around and leaves the room. Trick can't help but smile and follow him.", "Cut to Faith's hotel. Cut to her bathroom. She is scrubbing at her shirt in the sink when she hears a knock on the door and looks up.", "Buffy: Faith, it's me. Faith leaves the shirt in the sink and goes to answer it. Buffy breaks a long moment of silence.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Faith: Hey. She walks back to the bathroom and continues scrubbing the shirt. Buffy comes in, closes the door and follows Faith to the bathroom.", "Buffy: So, I, uh... (sees Faith scrubbing) How are ya doin'?", "Faith: (still scrubbing) I'm alright. You know me.", "Buffy: Faith, we need to talk about what we're gonna do.", "Faith: (looks at Buffy) There's nothing to talk about. I was doing my job.", "Buffy: Being a Slayer is not the same as being a killer. Faith has nothing to say. She's finished scrubbing.", "Buffy: Faith, please don't shut me out here. Look, sooner or later, we're both gonna have to deal.", "Faith: (looks the shirt over) Wrong.", "Buffy: We can help each other.", "Faith: I don't need it. She pulls the plug from the sink, walks into the room and pulls open a drawer on which to hang the shirt to dry.", "Buffy: Yeah? Who's wrong now? Faith, you can shut off all the emotions that you want. But eventually, they're gonna find a body.", "Faith: (faces Buffy) Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this conversation, and we're not even having it now, you understand me? There *is* no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist. (turns away)", "Buffy: (shocked) Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away.", "Faith: (faces Buffy) It does for me.", "Buffy: (very concerned) Faith, you don't get it. You *killed* a man.", "Faith: No, *you* don't get it. (smiles daringly) I don't care! She turns away again to tend to her things. Buffy is speechless with disbelief." ]

[ "Faith tells Giles that Buffy is the one who slew the Deputy Mayor ( Jack Plotnick ). Angel apprehends Faith, but Wesley thwarts his intervention and allows Faith to escape. She plans to leave town on the next freighter." ]

[ "Prologue: Underwater. Copious amounts of bubbles rise through it, some larger, some smaller, as though someone below is doing their best to hold their breath, but can't continue for much longer. The camera pans down, and there is Buffy frantically trying to get to the surface. Below her Allan grabs her ankle and pulls her down. She kicks her legs and flails her arms, desperately trying to shake loose. Eventually she manages to break free of his grip and swim to the surface. She breaks through and draws a deep breath. There, kneeling on the dock above, she sees Faith, who reaches down and shoves her back underwater.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She wakes with a start from the nightmare, and draws several deep breaths to calm herself as she realizes it was all just a dream. She sits up in bed and looks around her room. She pushes the blankets back, gets up and walks out into the hall, where she can hear the news on the TV in her mother's room.", "News Anchor: We go now live to our field reporter, who is standing by at the waterfront with this breaking news about the murder that has shocked the Mayor and residents of Sunnydale. Buffy can see the TV from the hall. It is showing footage of the boat retrieving Allan's body.", "Field Reporter: Fishermen discovered the body today, the victim of a brutal stabbing. Authorities and citizens alike were shocked when the slain man was identified as Deputy Mayor Allan Finch. Buffy can't believe that they not only found the body, but that he was also a public figure.", "Field Reporter: Still reeling from the news, Mayor Wilkins had this to say. The news cuts to the Mayor at a press conference.", "Mayor Wilkins: Mr. Finch was not only my longtime aide and associate, he was a close personal friend. I promise you I will not rest until whoever did this is found and brought to justice. Thank you very much. Joyce notices Buffy standing behind her.", "Joyce: Oh, honey, you're up. (turns back to the TV) Oh, it's just terrible, isn't it? Buffy doesn't know what to say or how to react. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Sunnydale High School library. Buffy is sitting on the study table and Faith is sitting in a chair at the table. Wesley paces. Giles is sitting at the far end.", "Wesley: I want you to look into this. Find out everything you can about the murder of the Deputy Mayor.", "Buffy: (nervous and confused) But that's... I-I mean, that's... That's not really our jurisdiction, is it?", "Faith: (eerily calm) It's no big, B. We'll get into it if he wants.", "Giles: No, Buffy's right. The Deputy Mayor's murder was the result of human malice. There's nothing supernatural about it.", "Wesley: We don't know that for certain. (brightly) I say it merits investigation.", "Giles: (gets up, walks around the table) Which I'm sure the police are doing. Meantime, if you ask me, there are better uses for the Slayers' time.", "Wesley: (snootily) Ah. But I don't believe I did. (holds the daily paper out to him) Ask you.", "Giles: (yanks the paper away) Considering the success of your previous adventure... Cordelia walks into the library. Giles looks over at her.", "Cordelia: Don't let me interrupt. Wait. Let me interrupt. I'm in a hurry. (raises her eyebrows)", "Giles: What did you need? Wesley turns to see who has spoken, and is immediately taken by her beauty. He stares at her with his mouth agape, looking her up and down.", "Cordelia: Uh, psych class. Freud and Jung. Book me?", "Giles: Happily.", "Cordelia: (notices Wesley, smiles) Check out Giles: The Next Generation. What's your deal?", "Wesley: (stammering nervously) Uh, I, uh... Well... (swallows) I'm a... Faith is quite amused. She leans forward on the table.", "Faith: New Watcher.", "Cordelia: Oh.", "Wesley: (turns to Buffy, irritated) Does everybody know about you?", "Buffy: She's a friend.", "Cordelia: Let's not exaggerate. So... (steps closer) You're the new Watcher.", "Wesley: (summons his poise, holds out his hand) Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.", "Cordelia: (takes it) I like a man with two last names. I'm Cordelia.", "Wesley: (smiles) And you teach psychology.", "Cordelia: I *take* psychology. Giles walks behind Wesley with Cordelia's books.", "Giles: She's a student. Wesley immediately drops Cordelia's hand.", "Wesley: Oh, well. I, uh... (swallows) Yes. (squares his shoulders) In fact, I am... here to watch... girls. Uh, uh, Buffy and Faith, to be specific.", "Cordelia: (steps closer, smiling brightly) Well, it's about time we got some fresh blood around here.", "Wesley: (laughs nervously) Well. Fresh. Yes. At the checkout counter Giles stamps the due date into the books.", "Giles: Here we go.", "Cordelia: (to Giles) Thanks. (to Wesley) So, welcome to Sunnydale. She gives him a bright smile and goes to retrieve her books. On her way out she makes sure to put just the right amount of swing in her hips.", "Wesley: (watching her back admiringly) My. She is cheeky, isn't she?", "Faith: (still amused) Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.", "Wesley: Ahem. (pulls out his handkerchief) Well, uh... (dabs his mouth) Where were we?", "Buffy: (slips off the table) Done. I mean, we were done, right?", "Faith: (stands up) Uh, yep. Off to patrol. So we'll see ya.", "Wesley: (draws himself up) One moment, girls. I'm your commander now, and on the matter of this murder, I am resolved. Natural or super, I want to know.", "Faith: Fine by me. Always ready to kick a little bad guy butt. She touches her hand to Buffy's shoulder, and the two of them walk out. Wesley smiles beatifically after them.", "Cut to an empty classroom. The Slayers walk in. Buffy pulls the door closed behind her. Faith checks the other door to make sure it's closed, which it is. They meet in the center of the room.", "Faith: (challengingly) So, you gonna rat me out? Is that it?", "Buffy: (imploringly) Faith, we have to tell. I can't pretend to investigate this. I can't pretend that I don't know.", "Faith: (snidely) Oh, I see. But you can pretend that Angel's still dead when you need to protect him.", "Buffy: I *am* trying to protect you. Look, if-if we don't do the right thing, it's only gonna make things worse for you.", "Faith: Worse than jail for the rest of my young life? No way!", "Buffy: Faith, what we did was...", "Faith: (ominously) Yeah. We. You were right there beside me when this whole thing went down. Anything I have to answer for, you do, too. You're a part of this, B. All the way. Faith walks out of the classroom, leaving a shocked Buffy behind.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of the classroom and walks toward the student lounge. There she sees Willow sitting alone on a couch, and goes to her. Willow notices her coming, glances up for an instant and takes a deep breath as she pretends to go back to her reading, apprehensive about them meeting.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Willow: Hey. (Buffy sits) Where's Faith? I-I saw her around. Figured you two were gonna go kill some more nasty stuff.", "Buffy: Not right now. I-I, um, I think she bailed. They both begin to talk again simultaneously.", "Buffy: Willow, I was won...", "Willow: Actually, I'm... They both stop. Buffy lets out a deep breath.", "Buffy: Um... You go ahead.", "Willow: (puts her book away) I'm late. I-I'm meeting Michael. The warlock guy? We're still trying to de-rat Amy.", "Buffy: (smiles thinly) Okay. Neither of them says anything for a long moment.", "Willow: (evasively) So see ya. (gets up and goes)", "Buffy: (to herself) See you.", "Cut to the scene where Allan was killed. The red and blue flashing lights of police car light bars illuminate the area. A forensic expert takes blood and fiber samples from the dumpster as another police officer holds a Maglite up to it. Detective Stein is also there, interviewing a potential witness.", "Det. Stein: So, uh... You heard the man scream about what time last night?", "Woman: (worriedly) Oh, I'm not sure. 7:00, maybe 8:00.", "Det. Stein: Can you be more specific, say between 7:30 and 8:00? The camera moves through the scene and finds Angel, watching from a distance. He sees the blood on the dumpster and watches as the samples are taken. He flashes back to the previous night when he saw the blood on Buffy's hand.", "Angel: Your hand.", "Buffy: Oh. It's okay. He's back in the present, and continues to watch all the activity.", "Cut to City Hall. Cut to the Mayor's office. He puts a sheet of paper into the shredder and listens to it whir through. He follows it with another. The camera pans up to his face. He's not a happy Mayor.", "Mayor Wilkins: It's not working.", "Trick: It's supposed to do something besides shred?", "Mayor Wilkins: It's *supposed* to cheer me *up*. Usually using the shredder gives me a lift. It's fun.", "Trick: And today you're not getting the ya-yas.", "Mayor Wilkins: (morosely) No. He shreds another sheet.", "Mayor Wilkins: Guess it'll take more than this to turn my frown upside down. I just *don't* understand why Allan would leave such a paper trail about our dealings. (considers) Do you think he was gonna betray me? Oh, now, that's a horrible thought. And now he's dead, I'll never have the chance to scold him.", "Trick: Maybe this will change your mood. He drops a copy of the coroner's report on the desk. The Mayor picks it up and opens it.", "Mayor Wilkins: What is it?", "Trick: Bombshell. The Deputy Mayor had wooden splinters in his wound. Struck right through the heart with a sharp, pointed object. Now, word is, someone was fighting vampires not a block away from the scene. Any smart money says it was a Slayer who did this job.", "Mayor Wilkins: Why? Do you think he talked? To them?", "Trick: If he did, I'm thinking he said the wrong thing.", "Mayor Wilkins: (closes the report) Well, this *is* exciting. A Slayer up for Murder One. That's sunshine and roses to me. It really is. He laughs as he taps the end of the report on his desk and sets it down. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ City Hall at night. Cut to Allan's office. Faith and Buffy break in. Buffy closes the door behind them, checking to make sure they weren't seen. She turns on the light. They both look around the office.", "Faith: (darkly) I'm telling you, we did the world a favor. (goes to his chair) This guy was about as interesting as watching paint dry.", "Buffy: (uneasily) Faith...", "Faith: I'm joking. Jeez, lighten up a little, B. She looks across his desk and notices a picture of him with the Mayor. Buffy goes through the papers in his inbox. Faith picks up the picture and stares at it, cradling it gently.", "Faith: He came out of nowhere.", "Buffy: (sympathetically) I know.", "Faith: (annoyed) Whatever. (puts down the picture) I'm not lookin' to hug and cry and learn and grow. I'm just saying it happened quick, you know? She pulls open his drawer. Everything inside is neat and in place. Buffy starts to go through some papers lying on top of his filing cabinets. Faith loses her patience.", "Faith: You know what? Let's just blow. Who cares what this guy was about? It's kind of moot now, don't you think?", "Buffy: I don't think he was in that alley by chance. I think he was looking for us. I'd like to know why. She opens a file drawer. It's empty.", "Faith: So, what, you think there's some big conspiracy? Buffy closes the drawer and opens another. All the folders in it are also empty.", "Buffy: You were saying?", "Faith: So his papers are gone. That doesn't prove anything.", "Buffy: Except that somebody didn't want us to prove anything. Faith begins to get it.", "Cut to the hall. Buffy opens the door and peeks out. The hall is clear, so she steps out into it. Just then the Mayor's door opens further down the hall, and Mr. Trick steps out. The Mayor is right behind him. Buffy looks back at Faith, and they both scramble back into Allan's office and close the door quietly. They can still hear them talking out in the hall.", "Mayor Wilkins: Get as many men on it as you can.", "Trick: Yeah. We'll be wanting to turn up the heat.", "Cut to the streets. Buffy and Faith step off the sidewalk and into the street.", "Faith: So the Mayor of Sunnydale is a Black Hat. That's a shocker, huh?", "Buffy: Actually, yeah. I didn't get the bad guy vibe off of him.", "Faith: (exasperated) When are you gonna learn, B? It doesn't matter what kind of vibe you get off a person. 'Cause nine times out of ten, the face they're showing you is not the real one. They step up onto the opposite sidewalk.", "Buffy: (evenly) I guess you know a lot about that.", "Faith: (stops and faces Buffy) What is that supposed to mean?", "Buffy: It's just, look at you, Faith. Less than twenty-four hours ago, you killed a man. A-and now it's all zip-a-dee-doo-dah? It's not *your* real face, and I know it. Look, I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it, too.", "Faith: (insolently) Do you? So fill me in 'cause I'd like to hear this.", "Buffy: Dirty. Like something sick creeped inside you and you can't get it out. And you keep hoping that it was just some nightmare, but it wasn't. And we are gonna have to figure out...", "Faith: (interrupts) Is there gonna be an intermission in this?", "Buffy: Just let me talk to Giles, okay? I swear...", "Faith: No! We're not bringing *anybody* else into this. You gotta keep your head, B. This is all gonna blow over in a few days.", "Buffy: And if it doesn't?", "Faith: If it doesn't, (shrugs) they got a freighter leaving the docks at least twice a day. It ain't fancy, but it gets you gone.", "Buffy: (in disbelief) And that's it? You just live with it? You see the dead guy in your head every day for the rest of your life?", "Faith: (steps closer) Buffy, I'm not gonna *see* anything. I missed the mark last night and I'm sorry about the guy. I really am! But it happens! Anyway, how many people do you think we've saved by now, thousands? And didn't you stop the world from ending? Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.", "Buffy: We help people! It doesn't mean we can do whatever we want.", "Faith: Why not? The guy I offed was no Gandhi. I mean, we just saw he was mixed up in dirty dealings.", "Buffy: Maybe, but what if he was coming to us for help?", "Faith: What if he was? You're still not seeing the big picture, B. Something made us different. We're warriors. We're built to kill.", "Buffy: To kill demons! But it does *not* mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else!", "Faith: We *are* better! Buffy is taken aback.", "Faith: (exhilarated) That's right, better. People need us to survive. In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire.", "Buffy: (sadly) I am.", "Faith: (disdainfully) Well, that's your loss. She turns her back on Buffy and walks away.", "Cut to Buffy's house. Her mother sees her coming and meets her at the door. When she opens it, Buffy can see Detective Stein standing behind her.", "Joyce: Buffy. Buffy looks at him, eyes widening, remembering him from before.", "Cut to the living room. Joyce sits in an armchair with her feet together and her hands folded in her lap, listening to the detective question her daughter. Buffy sits on the couch across from her.", "Det. Stein: Tell me again. You got home at what time last night?", "Buffy: Late. Um, a-a little past 1:00, I guess. The camera pans around Detective Stein as he asks his next question, and when it moves away from his back he's talking with Faith in her room.", "Det. Stein: Maybe you can explain to me what a girl your age is doing out all night.", "Faith: (playing dumb) Just hanging.", "Det. Stein: Hanging. By yourself?", "Faith: No. I was with my friend Buffy.", "Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: We were at Faith's watching TV. Joyce listens anxiously to them.", "Det. Stein: What did you watch?", "Cut to Faith.", "Faith: Some old movie.", "Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: Infomercial.", "Cut to Faith.", "Det. Stein: Hmm. (nods) That's funny 'cause I got a couple of witnesses who put you near the alley.", "Faith: (innocently) Witnesses? He walks around her, eyeing her suspiciously.", "Det. Stein: Somebody stabbed this guy through the heart.", "Cut to Buffy.", "Det. Stein: Strange thing is, the weapon, it was made out of wood.", "Cut to Faith.", "Det: Stein: Any of this mean anything to you?", "Faith: (flippantly) Yeah. That whoever did it wasn't hip to the Bronze Age. Detective Stein inhales deeply and sighs. Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: Is that it? I'm kinda beat.", "Det. Stein: Yeah, I have enough for now. Buffy, if you know something, if you're protecting someone, I promise you it'll be better for everyone if you just come clean.", "Cut to Faith.", "Faith: You mean am I covering for someone? Hardly. I'm not the throw- myself-on-the-sword type.", "Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy: (politely) I wish I could help you.", "Det. Stein: Well, call me if you remember anything.", "Cut to Faith. Detective Stein hands her his card. Cut outside her hotel room. He pulls the door closed, takes out his keys and walks to his car. He opens the door, gets in and starts the engine. In the shadows beyond Angel watches him. Detective Stein puts the car in gear and drives off.", "Cut to Willow's room. She's at her laptop doing research. She hears a tapping at her French doors, and goes to open them. There she sees Buffy looking in sadly.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Willow: Hey.", "Buffy: I need to talk to you.", "Willow: Good. (Buffy comes in, closes the door) 'Cause I've been letting things fester. (goes to her bed) And I don't like it. (sits) I wanna be fester-free.", "Buffy: (smiles weakly) Yeah. Me, too.", "Willow: (stands up) I mean, don't get me wrong. I-I completely understand why you and Faith have been doing the bonding thing. You guys work together. You... You should get along.", "Buffy: It's more complicated than that.", "Willow: But, see, it's that exact thing that-that's just ticking me off! It's this whole 'Slayers only' attitude. I mean, since when wouldn't I understand? You, you talk to me about *everything*. I-it's like all of a sudden I-I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands. Buffy suddenly bursts into tears. Willow is aghast at this result.", "Willow: (regretfully) Oh! Oh, Buffy! Don't cry. (hugs her close) I'm sorry. I-I was too hard on you. (lets go) Sometimes I unleash. I-I don't know my own strength. I-i-it's bad. I-I-I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad person. (looks for forgiveness)", "Buffy: (tearfully) Will, I'm in trouble.", "Cut to later, after they've calmed down and Buffy's explained. They sit on Willow's bed.", "Buffy: And Faith acts like she doesn't even care. The way she talks, it's like she didn't even make a mistake.", "Willow: (takes it all in) Do you think she's, like, i-in shock?", "Buffy: (sighs) I don't know. And I think that detective knows more than he's saying. I think he knew that I was lying.", "Willow: (decisively) You have to go to Giles, Buffy. He'll know what to do. Buffy lets out a deep breath, knowing that her friend is right.", "Cut to the library. Buffy comes in quietly and walks past the counter.", "Buffy: (troubled) Giles? She stops when she sees him come out of his office.", "Giles: Buffy.", "Buffy: Uh... (exhales) I don't really know how to say this, so I'm- I'm... I'm just gonna say it. I know I've kept things from you before, but... Giles turns his head slightly as Faith comes out of his office, too. Faith gives her a steely look, like she expects Buffy to keep things quiet.", "Buffy: (fumbling) But, um, but I-I've been blowing off my classes. You know, in-in the sense of not attending. And, uh...", "Faith: It's okay, Buffy. I told him.", "Buffy: (surprised) You told him?", "Faith: I had to. He had to know what you did.", "Buffy: (confused) What I did? She realizes that Faith has told Giles a bold-faced lie.", "Buffy: Giles, no. Tha-That's just not what happened.", "Giles: (upset) I don't want to hear it, Buffy.", "Buffy: (shocked) No! It...", "Giles: I don't want to hear any more lies.", "Buffy: (frantically to Faith) You can't be serious! You're setting me up?", "Giles: Get in my office, now. Faith, I'll talk to you in the morning.", "Buffy: (imploringly) Giles, please, you have to...", "Giles: (sternly) Now! Buffy can't believe what's happening. Faith walks around Giles. Buffy goes into his office. Faith stops and faces him.", "Faith: Um... Sorry. She leaves at a brisk pace. Giles looks down for a moment, then goes into his office. Inside Buffy faces him.", "Buffy: (desperately) Giles, I didn't do this. I swear. Look, I know that I messed up badly, but the murder, i-it... it was...", "Giles: (interrupts) Faith. I know. Stunned, Buffy realizes he was just playing Faith's game.", "Giles: She may have many talents, Buffy, but fortunately, lying is not one of them.", "Buffy: Oh. Oh, God. (sits) I thought...", "Giles: I'm sorry. I needed her to think that I was on her side. I don't know how far she'll take this charade.", "Buffy: Try far. Like, all the way.", "Giles: You should have come to me right off. (sits facing her)", "Buffy: I know. Well, I, I wanted to.", "Giles: But Faith wouldn't hear of it?", "Buffy: It's not all her fault, Giles. We both thought it was a vampire. I-I only realized it a second before.", "Giles: Buffy, this is not the first time something like this has happened.", "Buffy: (confused) It's not?", "Giles: The Slayer is on the front line of a nightly war. Now, it's, it's tragic, but accidents have happened.", "Buffy: W-what do you do?", "Giles: Well, the Council investigates, um, metes out punishment if punishment is due. But I... I have no plans to involve them. I mean, it's the last thing Faith needs at the moment. She's unstable, Buffy. I mean, she's utterly unable to accept responsibility.", "Buffy: She's freaking. So, so then we just have to help her deal, right?", "Giles: She's in denial. There *is* no help for her until she admits what happened.", "Buffy: (uncertainly) I-I could talk to her.", "Giles: (sighs) Perhaps.", "Buffy: Or maybe I'm too close. Maybe, maybe one of the guys could.", "Giles: We should meet. It-it may be that they're seeing a different side of her.", "Buffy: Okay.", "Cut to the main area looking into the office. The camera pans past the window.", "Giles: In the meantime, no one else is to know. Understood?", "Buffy: Of course. The camera keeps panning until it comes to rest on Wesley, who is standing by the counter, arms crossed and listening grimly.", "Giles: I mean, this is... extremely delicate. If we scare her off now, we may lose her forever.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Wesley's apartment. He picks up the phone and dials an international number.", "Wesley: Yes, hello. Mr. Travers, please. Quentin Travers. (listens) Wesley Wyndam-Pryce calling. (listens, confused) The code word? Monkey. (listens, exasperated) M-o-n-k... Just put him on, will you? This is an emergency.", "Willow: Well, maybe we should all talk to Faith together.", "Cut to the cafeteria. She, Buffy, Xander and Giles sit among the tables, which have the chairs inverted on them for the night.", "Buffy: You mean, like that intervention thing that you guys did on me? As I recall, Xander and I nearly came to blows.", "Xander: Uh, *you* nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs.", "Giles: No, Faith is too defensive for a confrontation like that. She'll respond better to a one-on-one approach.", "Xander: Well, *I* can be the one... on her one. (gets confused looks) Let's rephrase. I think she might listen to me. We kind of have, um, a connection.", "Buffy: A connection? Why would you think that...", "Xander: (interrupts) I'm just saying it's worth a shot. That's all. Buffy and Willow exchange a look.", "Giles: No, I don't, I don't see it, Xander. I mean, of, of all of us, you're the one person arguably that Faith has had the least contact with.", "Xander: Yeah, but we hung out a little... recently, and she seemed to be, um... responsive. Willow picks up on that, and figures it out. She looks sadly off into space.", "Buffy: When did you guys hang out?", "Xander: Oh, she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home.", "Buffy: And you guys talked?", "Xander: (shakes his head) Not extensively. No.", "Buffy: Then why would you... (figures it out also, widens her eyes with surprise) Oh.", "Giles: (gets it, surprised) Oh! He and Buffy both look at Willow, concerned. She notices and looks up.", "Willow: I don't need to say 'oh'. I got it before. They slept together. Buffy is genuinely sorry that she had to hear it like this. Willow looks back off into space. A long silence follows. The tension in the air is very thick. Giles finally breaks it.", "Giles: Fine, fine, let's, let's, let's move on.", "Buffy: Alright. Look, I-I know that you mean well, Xander, but, um, I-I just don't see Faith opening up to you. (gently) She doesn't take the guys that she has a... 'connection' with very seriously. And they're, they're kind of a big joke to her. No offense.", "Xander: (guffaws, sarcastically) Oh, no! I mean, why would I be offended by *that*?", "Giles: However, i-if you still want to be of assistance, I, I, I need some help with research. There's still the business of the Mayor and Mr. Trick to attend to.", "Buffy: Yeah, they, they seemed pretty cozy the other night.", "Giles: Yes. Uh, Willow, c-c-can you, um, access the Mayor's files?", "Willow: (comes back to Earth) What? Oh, uh, sure. I can try.", "Giles: (stands up) Good, yes, because clearly we, uh, (picks up his chair) we need to take a harder look at him. (turns it over) He's, he's, um, he's obviously up to something. (sets it on a table)", "Buffy: What about Faith?", "Giles: (sighs) I don't know. I need time.", "Buffy: She needs help now. (Giles looks at her) I owe her that.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. The camera pulls in to a stall with its door not quite closed. \"Wish We Never Met\", by Kathleen Wilhoite, plays over the scene.", "Lyrics: Disappointment stops by from time to time The sound of sobbing is coming from inside the stall. Cut inside. Willow sits there crying her eyes out.", "Lyrics: To see how I'm doing / And he came by last night right after you left / My life in ruin", "Cut to the library. Xander sits on the steps to the stack level, staring off into space and tapping his fingers.", "Lyrics: When I don't get what I want", "Cut to Faith's room. She's lying on her bed, idly watching TV.", "Lyrics: The spoiled child inside breaks down She hears a knock at her door. She rolls off her bed and goes to answer it. It's Xander.", "Faith: (bored) What?", "Xander: (awkwardly) I just, uh, came by to see how you are, actually.", "Faith: (with hostility) I'm sick of people asking me that, for one thing. A long moment of silence ensues.", "Xander: Can I come in? Just to talk. I promise.", "Faith: (skeptical) Like you could make something happen if I didn't want it to?", "Xander: Hey, yeah. Got me there. Pretty much not gonna try to... take you under any circumstances. (holds out his arm) See, here, feel that. (points to his biceps) Probably like a wet noodle to you, huh?", "Faith: (steps aside) Five minutes.", "Xander: That's all I need. (comes in) For talking and conversation. (Faith closes the door) I'm, um, quick as a bunny.", "Faith: (turns off the TV) Clock is running.", "Xander: It's just, uh... I heard about what happened, and I thought you might need a friend.", "Faith: So then, go talk to Buffy. She's the one who killed a guy.", "Xander: Yeah. I heard that version.", "Faith: (not amused) Version?", "Xander: (sighs) Either way, i-it sounds like it was an accident, and that's the important part.", "Faith: (angrily) No, the important part is that Buffy is the (makes finger quotes) accidental murderer.", "Xander: Faith, you may not think so, but I sort of know you. And I've seen you post-battle. And I know firsthand that you're, um... like a wild thing. And half the time, you don't know what you're doing.", "Faith: (snidely) And you're living proof of that, aren't you?", "Xander: See, you're trying to hurt me. But right now, you need someone on your side. What happened wasn't your fault. And I'm willing to testify to that in court if you need me.", "Faith: You'd dig that, wouldn't you? (gives him a sexy look) To get up in front of all your geek pals and go on record about how I made you my boy toy for a night.", "Xander: No. N-n-n-n-no, that's not it.", "Faith: *I* know what this is all about. (steps closer) You just came by here (runs her fingertips all around his face) 'cause you want another taste, don't you?", "Xander: No! I mean, it was nice. It was great. It was kind of a blur. But, okay, some day, sure, yay, but not now. Not like this.", "Faith: (grabs hold of his head) More like how then? Lights on or off? Kinks or vanilla?", "Xander: (jerks away) Faith, come on. I came here to help you. (looks her in the eyes) I thought we had a connection. Faith can't help but think that's funny and laughs at his gullibility. She grabs him by his shirt front, shoves him onto the bed and jumps on top of him.", "Faith: (excitedly) You wanna feel a connection? It's just skin. (opens his shirt) I see... I want... I take. (kisses him hard) I forget. She keeps moving above him and rubbing his chest and shoulders.", "Xander: (nervously) No. No, wait. It was more than that.", "Faith: I could do anything to you right now, and you want me to. I can make you scream. She licks her tongue over and around his face and returns to his lips, and kisses him forcefully, seizing his lower lip between her teeth and pulling at it.", "Faith: (breathlessly) I could make you die. She kisses him again and gets her hand around his neck. When she pulls away from his lips, he's choking. She kisses him once more, and then rises above him, never letting up on her chokehold. Xander reaches up with one hand to try to push her away and tries to pry her hand from his neck with his other hand, but doesn't have anywhere near the strength necessary to do so. Faith has both hands tight around his neck now, and squeezes hard. He begins to lose consciousness. A few moments more and he's passed out. Faith hears a noise behind her and looks over just in time to be knocked unconscious by Angel.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Faith is chained to the fireplace mantle. She rubs her wrists.", "Faith: Finally decided to tie me up, huh? I always knew you weren't really a one-Slayer guy.", "Angel: (plays with a bat) I'm sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you... Actually, it *is* that I don't trust you. (sets the bat aside)", "Faith: The thing with Xander; I know what it looked like, but we were just playing.", "Angel: (evenly) And he forgot the safety word. (gets up) Is that it?", "(walks over to her)", "Faith: Safety words are for wusses.", "Angel: (crouches before her) I bet you're not big on trust games, now, are you, Faith?", "Faith: You gonna shrink me now? Is that it?", "Angel: No, I just wanna talk to you.", "Faith: That's what they all say. And then it's just, 'Lemme stay the night. Won't try anything.'", "Angel: You wanna go the long way around, hey, I can do that. (stands up) I'm not getting any older.", "He turns his back on her and walks out into the atrium. Buffy waits there, and stands up when she sees him.", "Buffy: How's she doing?", "Angel: It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.", "Buffy: But you'll keep trying, right?", "Angel: Sure. We're just getting started.", "Buffy: So, what do I do?", "Angel: Look, right now, there's nothing that you can do.", "Buffy: Well, this could take awhile, right? (goes to the stairs) So, I'll just go to Faith's and I'll get some of her stuff. That way she'll see that we're on her side.", "Angel: That's a good idea.", "Buffy: Okay. (glances at Faith) I'll be back.", "Angel: Look, I... I don't want you to get your hopes up, Buffy. She may not want us to help her.", "Buffy: She does. She just doesn't know how to say it.", "Angel: She killed a man. That changes everything for her.", "Buffy: (shakes her head) Giles said with counseling, they might not even need to lock her up.", "Angel: That's not what I mean. She's taken a life.", "Buffy: I know.", "Angel: She's got a taste for it now.", "Cut to the Mayor's office. He and Trick are reviewing a security camera tape. On it they see Buffy and Faith enter Allan's office.", "Mayor Wilkins: Not one Slayer, but two. Right here in the building.", "Trick: There was supposed to be a guard.", "Mayor Wilkins: Sh. Here comes my favorite part. (they see them hide in Allan's office) Where the Slayers see us in the hall together, thick as thieves. Oh, wait, we are thieves. And worse. And now they know it.", "Trick: Well, they're not gonna be much of a threat in jail.", "Mayor Wilkins: Well, we don't have near enough evidence to put 'em away. On the tape he and Trick walk out of the building.", "Mayor Wilkins: No, you're gonna have to come up with a more *efficient* solution. And Mr. Trick, you better think of it soon. They watch the tape where the two Slayers leave the office after they've gone.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. He paces past Faith.", "Angel: I know what's goin' on with you.", "Faith: Join the club. Everybody seems to have a theory.", "Angel: Hmm. (faces her) But I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The exhilaration. It was like a drug for me.", "Faith: (looks up at him, sarcastically) Yeah? Sounds like you need some help. A professional maybe.", "Angel: Hmm. (goes to the coffee table) A professional couldn't have helped me. (sits on it) It stopped when I got my soul back. My human heart.", "Faith: Goody for you. If we're gonna party, let's get on with it. (holds out her wrists) Otherwise, could you let me out of these things?", "Angel: Faith, you have a choice. You've tasted something few ever do. (stands up, paces) I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.", "Faith: (struggles angrily) Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, (yanks at the chains impatiently) so let me go!", "Angel: (crouches) But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.", "Faith: Yeah? (sneering) I hope evil takes MasterCard.", "Angel: (smiles) You and me, Faith, (straightens up) we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. (sits next to her) But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. (looks at her) And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness. Suddenly there is a loud pounding on the door. It is broken in, and Wesley strides straight toward them, holding a large cross and flanked by three others. Angel rushes to head them off, but has to step back from Wesley, who nervously holds the cross in his face. One of his cronies blindsides Angel with a right hook, and he falls to the floor. Another quickly throws a net over him, and the third starts to beat him with a crowbar while the others tie Angel up. Wesley goes over to Faith and removes the shackles from her wrists. While she rubs them and watches Angel get whaled on, Wesley pulls out a set of heavy cuffs and chains, and before she knows it her wrists are bound once again.", "Faith: (confused) What?", "Wesley: By the order of the Watcher's Council of Britain... (lifts her up) I am exercising my authority and removing you to England, (guides her out) where you will accept the judgment of the disciplinary committee. One of the men helps hold Faith, and they all leave the mansion, leaving Angel behind entangled in a mass of net and rope. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The streets of Sunnydale. A stepvan drives down a boulevard. Cut inside. Faith is chained to a bench on one side. Wesley and one of his men sit on the bench opposite her.", "Wesley: I'm sorry for the extreme measures. Unfortunately, this is a rather extreme circumstance.", "Faith: Whatever.", "Wesley: Please believe nobody is rushing to judgment. The first priority of both myself and the Council is to help you. Faith pulls at the ring holding her to the bench.", "Wesley: Ah, now, none of that. (to his crony) Tighten her restraints. Faith, there's no point in fighting this. Faith kicks the man in the knee, and he falls to the floor. She presses down on his face with her boot.", "Faith: Have to disagree with you on that one. Now unlock these or I'll pop this guy's head like a grape. Wesley hesitates, then spies a wrench on the floor. Faith sees it, too.", "Faith: Don't even think about it. She holds up her cuffed wrists for him to unlock. He gives in, stands up, pulls the keys from his pocket and steps over to set her free.", "Wesley: Faith, you can't keep running. She punches him hard in the jaw, and he falls onto the wrench. He grabs it and tries to swing at her with it, but she grabs his wrist.", "Faith: Wrong again, Wes. She grabs his jacket with her other hand and headbutts him hard. He falls down unconscious. She goes to the doors, kicks them open and jumps out onto the street. She rolls a few times before coming to a stop and watches the van drive away. She looks around to get her bearings and makes her getaway.", "Cut to Angel's mansion. Buffy arrives with some of Faith's things. Once inside she notices that Faith is gone, and then sees Angel still struggling to get out of the ropes. She rushes over to help him out.", "Cut to the library. Giles, Willow and Xander are all there with Buffy and Angel.", "Angel: It was the new Watcher. He had a couple of guys helping him.", "Willow: Then he figured it out?", "Giles: Which means that Faith will be soon on her way back to England to face the Watcher's Council.", "Buffy: And then what?", "Giles: Most likely they'll lock her away for a good long while.", "Buffy: So we head them off at the airport and stop them.", "Willow: Can I... I-I'm just wondering. Why? (gets a look from Buffy) I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people. (looks at Xander, who closes his eyes) But she murdered someone and accused Buffy. Then she hurt Xander. I hate to say it, but maybe she belongs behind bars. Giles thinks about that.", "Buffy: She's out of control, I know. But Angel was getting somewhere with her. She was opening up. If we could just stop Wesley. Wesley walks into the library.", "Wesley: That's no longer an issue.", "Giles: You let her get away?", "Wesley: 'Let' wouldn't be the way I'd phrase it, but... Yes, she escaped. Giles rolls his eyes and takes off his glasses.", "Angel: That's good work. (walks across the room) First, you terrorize her, then you put her back in the streets. (sits on the table)", "Wesley: That was hardly my plan. I was trying to save her.", "Buffy: (accusingly) But you didn't! You probably destroyed her.", "Giles: (interrupts quietly) Buffy, that's enough. (puts his glasses back on)", "Buffy: I better find her before she does any more damage. (stands up) We're gonna need to split up. I'll check the docks. That's probably where she is. Giles, why don't you go to her motel? Xander, Willow, her haunts and be careful. They all get up to leave.", "Angel: I'll try the airport. (goes) Everyone walks past Wesley on their way out.", "Wesley: What can I do? I want to help.", "Buffy: (resentfully) You still got your ticket back to the mother country? She follows the others out, leaving him standing there alone.", "Cut to the docks. The camera closes in on an old, rusty cargo ship and across to the dock. Buffy walks along it watching for Faith. She passes underneath the gangplank and stops when she hears Faith behind her.", "Faith: You don't give up, do you? She's on the ship at the top of the gangplank.", "Buffy: Not on my friends, no.", "Faith: Yeah, because you and me are such solid buds, right? (walks down the gangplank)", "Buffy: We could be. It's not too late.", "Faith: (disgusted) For me to change and be more like you, you mean? Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes? (stops halfway, leans on the railing) It ain't gonna happen, B.", "Buffy: Faith, nobody is asking you to be like me, but you can't go on like this.", "Faith: (grins evilly) Scares you, doesn't it? She climbs over the railing and hops down to the dock.", "Buffy: Yeah, it scares me. Faith, you're hurting people. You're hurting yourself.", "Faith: (approaches Buffy) But that's not it. That's not what bothers you so much. What bugs you is you know I'm right. You know in your gut we don't need the law. We *are* the law.", "Buffy: No. She turns her back and walks away. Faith follows right behind.", "Faith: Yes. You know exactly what I'm about 'cause you have it in you, too.", "Buffy: No, Faith, you're sick.", "Faith: I've seen it, B. You've got the lust. And I'm not just talking about screwing vampires. Buffy stops in her tracks.", "Buffy: Don't you *dare* bring him into this.", "Faith: (taunting her) It was good, wasn't it? The s*x? The danger? Bet a part of you even dug him when he went psycho.", "Buffy: No! (continues walking)", "Faith: (follows) See, you need me to toe the line because you're afraid you'll go over it, aren't you, B? You can't handle watching me living my own way, having a blast, because it tempts you! You know it could be you! Buffy has had enough. She stops, faces her and backhand punches her in the jaw. Faith comes up smiling wickedly.", "Faith: There's my girl.", "Buffy: (tries to get away) No. I'm not gonna do this.", "Faith: (doesn't let her go) Why not? It feels good. Blood rising. Buffy hears a noise above, looks up and notices a palette of crates above them, falling directly at Faith. She shoves her out of the way, but gets struck herself and goes down. She is dazed, but not out. Faith gets up and goes to help Buffy, when Mr. Trick and three other vampires suddenly attack. Faith spins around when she hears them roar, but is soundly punched in the face by Trick, forcing her body to snap to the side. He and another one grab her by her jacket and throw her to the ground. As Faith tries to get to her feet, the second vampire roundhouse kicks her in the face. She blocks it and drops a bit, but manages to get up and block an uppercut from the third one by grabbing his hand. She backhand punches him in the face, making him step back to keep his balance, and turns to face the second vampire. She high blocks a wide swing from him and punches him, making him fall, but the third one behind her flat hands her in the back and she stumbles. Buffy starts to come out of her daze.", "Buffy: (whispers) Oh, God... The third vampire holds Faith with her arms behind her back. She tries to get free by snapping her heel backwards and striking his kneecap. That has no effect, so she snaps her head back and butts him dead in the nose, but the vamp still doesn't let go of her. The second vampire launches into a half spinning hook kick intended for Faith, but she ducks it and the demon holding her takes the blow, lets go of her and goes down. Faith flies into full spinning, jumping out-to-in crescent kick, hitting the second vampire hard in the face and sending him spinning to the ground. The first vampire runs at her, but she sidesteps him and shoves him into the third, who was just getting up. He isn't knocked down, though, and comes at her. She grabs him and pulls him with her toward the water, and throws him off the dock. Buffy is out of her daze now, and with difficulty pulls her legs out from under the pallet of crates that fell on her. She gets to her feet, but is immediately punched by Mr. Trick. She falls spinning onto the crates and rolls off onto the concrete. She gets to her feet as Trick approaches and tries to backhand punch him, but he middle blocks it, so she punches him in the gut instead. Her jab is weak, though, and has no effect on him. Trick does a painful right hook to her face. Buffy stumbles backward. Trick advances and swings again, this time snapping her head back with a powerful uppercut, making her fall onto another pile of crates. Faith does a half-spinning hook kick, connecting with the second vampire's jaw. He falls onto an open barrel and struggles not to fall in. The first one comes at her again, but she has her stake out now and jams it home. He explodes into ashes. She looks over and sees Buffy struggling with Mr. Trick. He wraps a cord around her neck and begins to choke her. But Faith isn't finished with her fight yet. The second vampire throws off the barrel, only to become intimate with her stake and burst into ashes. Faith sees Trick yank at the cord around Buffy's neck and pull her off of the crates. He pulls her up and swings her around into a pallet leaning against still more crates. She hits it hard and falls to the pavement. Faith looks around, trying to decide what to do. She sees Trick pick Buffy up again and slam her against the huge crates. Buffy struggles to get loose, but the cord around her neck is too tight.", "Trick: I hear once you've tasted a Slayer, you never wanna go back. He opens his fang-filled mouth wide and moves in for the bite. Buffy struggles to keep him away, but can't. Suddenly Mr. Trick stops and looks up in wide-eyed shock.", "Trick: Oh, no. (shakes his head) No, this is no good at all. He begins to fall and explodes into ashes as Faith pulls her stake back. The two Slayers look at each other uncertainly for a long while. Faith lowers her stake. Buffy massages her neck.", "Cut to the library. Buffy sits at the table while Giles pours her some coffee from his thermos.", "Giles: So she saved you. (walks slowly around the table)", "Buffy: She could have left me there to die, Giles, but she didn't.", "Giles: She opted to come back to town with you. That... That bodes well. (sits) She still has a lot to face before she can put this behind her.", "Buffy: I'm not gonna give up on her.", "Giles: (pours himself a cup) Then I think she stands a chance.", "Cut to the Mayor's office. He pulls on his overcoat, getting ready to leave for the night. He looks down at his desk and adjusts the angle of the penholder, gives a satisfied nod, picks up his briefcase and heads for the door. When he opens it he is surprised to see Faith standing there, arms crossed.", "Faith: (accusingly) You sent your boy to kill me.", "Mayor Wilkins: (unfazed) That's right, I did.", "Faith: He's dust.", "Mayor Wilkins: I thought he might be. What with you standing here and all.", "Faith: (steps brazenly into the doorway) I guess that means you have a job opening. The Mayor steps back to let her enter and closes the door." ]

[ "Wanting to be a vengeance demon again, Anya tricks Willow into helping with a spell to retrieve her power center, the amulet Giles destroyed in an alternate reality (\" The Wish \"). Instead of the amulet, however, the spell transports Willow's vampire version to an unsuspecting Sunnydale." ]

[ "Prologue: A dark chapel. Dozens of candles on several tall iron candleholders are standing around the chamber. An altar stands at one end. Upon it sits the high demon D'Hoffryn. Kneeling before him on a small rug is Anya, she who was Anyanka, once demon but now doomed to be mortal, pleading her case.", "D'Hoffryn: (resolutely) Do not ask again.", "Anya: (shocked) But... But I...", "D'Hoffryn: (sternly interrupts) Your powers were a gift of the lower beings. You have proved unworthy of them.", "Anya: I was robbed of them.", "D'Hoffryn: By your carelessness.", "Anya: (dramatically) For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. (disgustedly) And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. (despondently) Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math.", "D'Hoffryn: (dismissingly) This is no concern of ours. You will live out your mortal life and die.", "Anya: (pleadingly) Give me another chance. You can fold the fabric of time. Send me back to that place and I'll change it. I won't fail again.", "D'Hoffryn: Your time is passed.", "Anya: (desperately) Do you have any idea how boring twelfth graders are? (stands up) I'm getting my power center back. (defiantly) And if you won't help me, then, by the pestilent gods, I will find someone who will!", "Cut to Sunnydale High. Willow is lying on a grassy area, concentrating hard. Soon a pencil floats up into view and starts to slowly turn end over end. Willow smiles at her successful levitation. Beside her, Buffy does sit-ups.", "Buffy: The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.s, Rorschach, associative logic... (grunts and sits up) He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.", "Willow: (looks over at Buffy) Ooo, I used to want... (reconsiders) Wait. Florist means crazy, right? (turns back to her pencil) I never wanted to do that. Buffy does some stretching exercises while she watches the pencil as well.", "Buffy: (smiles, impressed) Neat.", "Willow: (grins) Thanks. It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic. (looks at Buffy, giddily) Hey, you wanna go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?", "Buffy: I'm gonna pass. Hit the pool and do some laps.", "Willow: (bewildered) How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? (smiles and giggles) Buff buff.", "Buffy: Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I-I just... Well, I-I wanna do...", "Willow: (smiles knowingly) Better than Faith?", "Buffy: (embarrassed) So very shallow.", "Willow: (sits up) Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people.'", "Buffy: (ruefully) I know Faith's not gonna be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but... she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me.", "Willow: (shakes her head) No way. Some people just don't have that in them.", "Buffy: (apologetically) Look, I'm sorry. I-I know how you hate talking about Faith.", "Willow: No, it's okay.", "Buffy: No, really, we should just... (glances at the pencil)", "Willow: No. I-it doesn't bother me. I mean it.", "Buffy: (notices the pencil) Uh, Will?", "Willow: (looks at it) Oh. The pencil is spinning wildly. An instant later it darts off and buries itself deeply into a tree. Willow gives Buffy a concerned look.", "Buffy: Emotional control?", "Willow: (abashed) I'm working on it. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High School. Cut to Principal Snyder's office. He stands at the door, hands in pockets, looking with great satisfaction at Willow and Percy West, who are seated facing his desk.", "Snyder: As far as I'm concerned, this is a marriage made in heaven.", "(takes off his jacket) Willow Rosenberg, despite her unsavory associations, (hangs it on the coat rack) represents the pinnacle of academic achievement at Sunnydale High. (strolls up to them) Percy West represents a devastating fast break (puts his hand on Percy's shoulder)", "and 50% from behind the three-point line. (goes around his desk to his chair)", "Willow: (confused) I-I'm not sure I understand the marriage part.", "(glances at Percy)", "Snyder: (indicates Willow) You've got the brains, (indicates Percy)", "he's got the fast break. (brings his hands together) It's a perfect match.", "Willow: (very confused) Match? (double-takes at Percy) You want us to breed?", "Snyder: I want you to tutor him. (sits) Percy is flunking history. Nothing seems to be able to motivate him.", "Percy: (flippantly) Hey, I'm *challenged*.", "Snyder: (raises his eyebrows) You're lazy, self-involved and spoiled. That's quite the challenge. But we need a winning year, especially after last year's debacle with the swim team. Can't have our point guard benched. (to Willow) So, you're gonna take on a little teaching job. (encouragingly) I know how you enjoy teaching.", "Willow: (makes feeble excuses) Well, I have a lot of work of my own.", "Snyder: You've got a letter of acceptance from every university with a stamp.", "Willow: Y-yes, but I still have classes and I don't...", "Snyder: (interrupts) Rosenberg, it's time to give something back to the community. (stands up) I know you wanna help your school out here. Ask me how I know.", "Willow: (obediently) How do you...?", "Snyder: (interrupts, glares ominously) I just... know.", "Cut to the library. Willow and Buffy push the doors open and walk in.", "Buffy: So he threatened you? With what?", "Willow: Well, i-it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes.", "Buffy: Snyder needs me to kick his ass.", "Willow: Oh, no, Buffy, don't get in trouble. I'll be okay. They reach the study table. Willow sets down her books, Buffy sits on it.", "Willow: I just hate the way he bullies people. He just assumes everyone's time is his. She lifts her bag from her shoulder and sets it down also as Giles comes out of his office sucking on a lollipop.", "Giles: Willow, get on the computer. I want you to take another pass at accessing the Mayor's files.", "Willow: (happily) Okay. She heads behind the counter to use the computer there. Faith comes into the library followed by an out-of-breath Wesley.", "Faith: (sarcastically) Well, that was a blast.", "Giles: How did it go?", "Faith: (points at Wesley behind her) Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up. Wesley makes it to the counter and leans heavily against it. Buffy raises her eyebrows at the sight.", "Giles: (to Wesley) How did it go?", "Wesley: (panting heavily) Faith, uh... (pants) did quite well on the obstacle field. (pants) Still a little sloppy, though. Faith shoots him an incredulous look.", "Giles: Do you feel up to, uh, taking Buffy out, or shall I?", "Wesley: (pants) Oh, no, no, no. (pants) I'll be fine. (pants) Just give me a minute. (pants) And some defibrillators, if it's (pants) not too much trouble.", "Faith: You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring.", "(grimaces)", "Giles: (sternly) Faith, this evaluation is a necessary part of the", "Council's...", "Faith: (apologetically) I know. I'm on board here. Just shooting my mouth off.", "Buffy: I better change. She starts to walk out. As she passes by, Faith leans toward her.", "Faith: Good luck. She reaches out, lightly brushes Buffy's shoulder with her hand and gives her a little smile. Buffy returns the smile weakly and continues out. Wesley takes a deep breath and follows her. Faith notices Willow at the computer and hops up on the counter to sit and watch.", "Faith: What cha doin'?", "Willow: (trying to concentrate) I'm trying to access the Mayor's personal files.", "Faith: (surprised) Can you do that?", "Willow: Well, he's got some tricky barriers set up.", "Faith: (warily) Can you get past 'em?", "Willow: (stubbornly) Eventually I'll get through. Faith watches intently as Willow continues her hacking.", "Cut to a spacious new studio apartment. Mayor Wilkins considers Faith's report.", "Mayor Wilkins: (musingly) That's very interesting.", "Faith: Yeah, I thought so, too. (looks around) Are you serious about this place? (continues exploring)", "Mayor Wilkins: Of course I am. No Slayer of *mine* is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.", "Faith: (checks out the kitchen) Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick! She walks past a leather punching bag hanging in a corner and continues into the sleeping area.", "Mayor Wilkins: We'll keep your old place, in case you need to see your friends there, but from now on... Faith jumps up on the bed and bounces.", "Mayor Wilkins: (appalled) Oh, hey, hey, hey! Shoes! Shoes! Faith hops off of the bed and goes up to the Mayor.", "Faith: (smiling sultrily) Thanks, Sugar Daddy.", "Mayor Wilkins: (admonishingly) Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. He steps aside to let Faith continue looking around.", "Mayor Wilkins: (briskly) Now, let's kill your little friend. Faith gives him an uneasy look.", "Mayor Wilkins: (reassuringly) Don't worry. I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. (Faith sits, doubtfully considers) Besides, I think a vampire attack would be less suspicious anyway. In the meantime, let's take a look at the rest of the apartment, huh? (Faith stands up again) If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation.", "Faith: (grins broadly) No way.", "Mayor Wilkins: (grins back proudly) Yes way! (chuckles happily) Faith heads over to the TV to check it out.", "Cut to the halls at Sunnydale High. Oz finds Willow as she walks along.", "Oz: Hey!", "Willow: Oz! Hi! They smile at each other and move closer to hug.", "Oz: There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. (teasingly) It's like I have no will of my own. They move apart. Willow has a huge smile on her face.", "Willow: Where were you yesterday? They start walking, holding hands.", "Oz: Mm... We got back late, sort of very.", "Willow: (perplexed) We? Who? Where?", "Oz: The band. We had a gig in Monterey Sunday night. They stop by a classroom.", "Willow: (distressed) Oh, you did? How come I didn't know?", "Oz: (surprised) I thought you did.", "Willow: (hurt) Maybe I would have liked to go.", "Oz: Didn't figure you for missing school.", "Willow: (disappointed) You think I'm boring.", "Oz: I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text. We're playing tonight at the Bronze.", "Willow: (apologetically) I can't. I have too much homework.", "Oz: (invitingly) If you get done early... He steps toward the classroom. Their hands don't part until necessary.", "Cut to the quad. Percy comes up the stairs from the underpass below the administrative offices. Willow catches up with him. He just continues walking, completely disinterested.", "Willow: Percy! Hey. Listen, I thought we could get together today at lunch and go over your Roosevelt paper. You know, what books you'll need and stuff.", "Percy: (purposely obtuse) What are you talking about?", "Willow: Me tutoring you. Your, your history paper?", "Percy: Oh, yeah, yeah. Snyder said *you* were gonna do it.", "Willow: (surprised) He never said that.", "Percy: (gives her an obnoxious look) What meeting were *you* at?", "Willow: Look, I-I'll get the books you need. Just meet me at lunch and...", "Percy: (interrupts) No, no, no. I don't have any time at lunch. I gotta hang out.", "Willow: Well...", "Percy: (stops and faces her, impatiently) What, what, you got something better to do? Just type it up and put my name on it. Oh, and don't type too good. Dead giveaway. (leaves) Willow can't believe his attitude and sinks down on one of the benches dejectedly. She takes off her pack, reaches in and pulls out a banana.", "Willow: (with resolve) I'm eating this now. (daringly) It's not lunchtime, I don't even care. Before she can begin peeling it, Buffy and Xander walk up to her.", "Buffy: Hey.", "Xander: Willow, did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?", "Willow: (absently) Uh-huh. (struggles with the banana)", "Buffy: (to Xander, proudly) See, I told you. Old Reliable. Xander nods and smiles. Willow is not amused.", "Willow: (sourly) Oh, thanks.", "Buffy: (taken aback) What?", "Willow: 'Old Reliable'? Yeah, great. (reprovingly) *There's* a sexy nickname.", "Buffy: Well, I-I didn't mean it as...", "Willow: No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.", "Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.", "Willow: (disgustedly) That's Old Faithful.", "Xander: Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...", "Willow: (incensed) That's Old Yeller.", "Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me. Will, I-I didn't mean it as a bad thing. I-I think it's good to be reliable.", "Willow: (stands up, annoyed) Well, maybe I don't *wanna* be reliable all the time. Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework Gal.", "Xander: I'm thinking nerve strike. Willow huffs at him and starts to go, but turns back.", "Willow: Maybe I'll change my look! Or cut class. You don't know. Buffy and Xander just give her surprised looks.", "Willow: (holds up her banana defiantly) And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned! (strides off)", "Buffy: (goes after her) Will, wait. I'm really sorry...", "Willow: (interrupts, chiding gently) Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.", "Buffy: (chastened) Oh. Willow goes on her way. Buffy looks back sadly at Xander.", "Cut to the halls. Willow starts trudging up the stairs. Anya notices her.", "Anya: Uh, Willow?", "Willow: (turns around) Uh, hi. (doesn't recognize)", "Anya: (gestures at herself) Anya. (smiles) I'm sort of new here. (hopefully) Um, I know Cordelia?", "Willow: (smiles thinly) Oh, fun.", "Anya: Yeah. Um, listen, (steps up closer to her) I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if...", "Willow: (interrupts, ironically) Yeah, that's me. Reliable-Dog-Geyser Person. What do you need?", "Anya: Oh, it's nothing big. (secretively) Just a little spell I'm working on. (shrugs)", "Willow: (suddenly interested, steps down to her) A spell? (nonchalantly) Oh. I like the black arts.", "Anya: I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful wicca, so... (shrugs again)", "Willow: (smiles excitedly) You heard right, mister! I-I-I'm always ready to work some dark mojo. (hopefully) So, tell me, is it dangerous?", "Anya: (dismissively) Oh, no. (shakes her head)", "Willow: (disappointed) Well, could we pretend it is?", "Cut to an empty classroom after school. The camera pulls back from a large white plate with a representation of Anya's lost necklace painted on it. Willow kneels facing it, arranging herbs, bones and candles. Anya sits at a desk and prepares a mixture of sands and powders.", "Anya: The necklace was a family heirloom passed down for generations. Then it was stolen from my mom's apartment.", "Willow: How does the spell work?", "Anya: (gets up) Uh, well, we both call on Eryishon, (kneels opposite Willow) the Endless One, offer up the standard supplication, then there's a teensy temporal fold. (smiles weakly) We hope. Um, then I pour the sacred sand on the representation of the necklace, and Eryishon brings it forth from the time and place it was lost.", "Willow: (smiles) Cool.", "Anya: Are we ready?", "Willow: (slightly nervous) I think so. Anya takes a deep breath and holds her hand out palm up over the plate.", "Anya: Eryishon. K'shala. Meh-uhn. Willow also reaches out with her hand palm up, keeping hers tip-to-tip with Anya's.", "Willow: Diprecht. Doh-tehenlo nu-Eryishon. Anya picks up the bottle of sacred sand and holds it over the plate.", "Anya: The child to the mother. Willow takes hold of the bottle as well.", "Willow: The river to the sea.", "Anya: (closes her eyes) Eryishon, hear my prayer. Willow closes her eyes also. There is a low rumbling, and a pillar of energy appears over the plate and around the girls' hands. Their hands begin to shake, and Willow whips open her eyes, surprised by how powerful this spell actually is. She sees scenes from an alternate universe: Anyanka choking Giles, licking her fingers, herself and Xander as vampires, Anyanka's necklace, Buffy staking Xander, herself as a vampire, herself impaled on the broken wood of the cage, Anyanka's necklace smashed, her vampire self attacking Buffy and getting backhand punched, the Master watching, herself falling to the floor, being grabbed by Larry, sitting alone in an empty factory without the machine, Oz coming for her, the Master grabbing Buffy. In the classroom Anya turns over the bottle of sand, and it pours out. Some of it sifts through Willow's fingers before hitting the plate. More visions follow: Angel letting the imprisoned humans out, herself fighting one, Oz still coming for her, reaching out to grab her... Suddenly she disappears from the scene. Willow flashes back to the classroom, where she has a wide-eyed look of surprise and shock on her face. The pillar of energy fades, and she pulls back her hands, breathing hard.", "Willow: That was... W-w-what was that? (slowly stands up)", "Anya: (feels for her necklace in the sands) Oh, it's not here. (pounds the floor, frustrated) It's not here!", "Willow: (composes herself) Okay, that's a little blacker than I like my arts.", "Anya: (exasperated) Oh, don't be such a wimp.", "Willow: (very uneasy) That, that-that wasn't just some temporal fold, that was some weird Hell place. I-I don't think you're telling me everything.", "Anya: (tersely insistent) I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.", "Willow: (indignantly) Well, did you try looking inside the sofa *in Hell*?", "Anya: Look, (smiles sweetly) we'll just try it again, and...", "Willow: (steps back) No! I-I think emphatically not!", "Anya: (angrily) I can't do it by myself!", "Willow: (gathers her things) That's a relief. I'm outta here.", "Anya: (furiously) Fine! Go! (mutters to herself) Idiot child. Willow overhears that, and doesn't appreciate it.", "Willow: (reaches down, haughtily) I believe these chicken feet are mine. Look, m-magic is dangerous, Anya, i-it's, it's not to be toyed with. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have someone else's homework to do. She leaves the room. Anya looks down at the plate, frustrated, then picks it up.", "Anya: (anguished) Nothing! (smashes it)", "Cut to the factory. It's empty except for a lot of small debris. Evil Willow jerks up from the floor and looks around, shocked to suddenly find that the Master, his machine, the humans, the vampires, everything is gone.", "Evil Willow: This is weird. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~", "Cut to the street in front of the Sun Cinema. \"Hotel\" and \"The Goose Ran\" are the featured films. The camera pans down from the sign to several children running along the sidewalk and comes up on Evil Willow. She's standing in the street, disoriented and confused by everything she sees around her. There are so many people and children boldly walking and running around at night without a care in the world. To her it's all strange. Very strange. These people should be cowering in their homes, not out enjoying themselves. As she walks along the yellow centerline, some people walk by her, crossing the street from the theater to the Espresso Pump, coming within reaching distance, blissfully unaware of who she is. No one fears her. No one even notices her. Behind her she hears a girl screaming and turns to look, but the girl is just resisting some teasing from her boyfriend, not shaking in fear of a vampire. An old woman approaches her, not even put off by her full leather attire.", "Old woman: E-e-excuse me, young lady... Evil Willow faces her and snarls. The lady is frightened, and she backs away shaken, but she's not terrified as Evil Willow would have expected, probably assuming she was just another punk. She rolls her eyes and continues.", "Cut to the Bronze. k's Choice is on stage performing \"Virgin State of Mind\", a slow bluesy number, while several couples slow dance to it.", "Lyrics: There's a chair in my head on which I used to sit / Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it / Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth / Used to be Evil Willow enters and looks around. The place is calm, especially compared to what she's used to. People are hanging out, chatting, drinking, playing pool. Only a few eyes notice her in her black leather.", "Lyrics: Dig it up, throw it at me / Dig it up, throw it at me Evil Willow stops by a pool table and looks forlornly all around, taking in the situation.", "Lyrics: Where can I run to / Where can I hide / Who will I turn to / Now I'm in the virgin state of mind A guy in a leather jacket can't help but notice Evil Willow as she walks around him, staring appraisingly at him with her evil scowl. She just keeps going. He doesn't want anything to do with her.", "Lyrics: Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear / Cut out words I've got written on my chair / Like, do you think I'm sexy / And do you think I really care Evil Willow begins to get depressed about how things suddenly are. She doesn't watch where she's going, and neither does Percy, who bumps into her.", "Percy: Hey! (recognizes her, surprised, then amused) Rosenberg? What are you doing, trick-or-treating? (points at her) You're supposed to be at home doing my history report. I flunk that class, you're in big trouble with Snyder. (smugly) Till we graduate, I own your ass. She raises her eyes and looks at him with weary amusement.", "Evil Willow: Bored now. She shoves the heel of her hand squarely into his chest, sending him flying onto a pool table. He lands hard on his back, and his momentum forces him into a back roll off of it. Several guys around them are shocked.", "Guy#1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, man!", "Guy#2: Hey!", "Guy#1: What's up with *that*, man?", "Guy#3: What the heck? Evil Willow now has the attention of the crowd as she slowly goes over to Percy.", "Evil Willow: (pensively) I'm having a terrible night. She reaches down and lifts Percy up from the floor by his throat, digging her fingertips into his flesh and choking him.", "Evil Willow: (expectantly) Wanna make it better? Percy tries to punch her, but she idly blocks him and looks up into his eyes, sadly at first but then with a wide grin when Percy can't pull her hand off. He clutches her neck with his other hand and tries to choke her. Some guys in the background make fun of Percy, unaware of the seriousness of his situation.", "Guy#4: Check it out! Xander comes up behind him, eager to get in on the fun.", "Xander: What's going on? Is there a funny thing? The guys laughingly point over at Evil Willow and Percy, who have both hands around each other's necks now. Percy is choking, while Evil Willow just continues to smile. Xander runs up behind Percy and yanks him off of her, throwing him to the floor.", "Xander: Back off! You stay the hell away from her!", "Percy: (panicked) Okay! Sure! (scrambles away) Xander turns back to make sure Willow is okay, but is stunned by the way she's dressed. For her part, Evil Willow's face brightens, glad to finally see a familiar face.", "Evil Willow: (thrilled) Xander!", "Xander: (amazed) Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you.", "Evil Willow: (smiles widely) You're alive! She hugs him, running her hands sensuously over his neck and back.", "Xander: Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. (her hands go further down) Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. (her hands reach his butt) (jumps, surprised) Hands! Hands in new places!", "Evil Willow: (realizes, confused, revolted) You're alive.", "Xander: (nods, eyeing her curiously) You mentioned that before. Will, are you okay?", "Evil Willow: (distraught) No! Everything's different.", "Buffy: (finds them) Oh. There you are.", "Xander: (never looking away from Evil Willow) Hey, Buff.", "Buffy: Aren't you gonna introduce me to your... (recognizes) Holy *God*, you're Willow.", "Evil Willow: (recognizes the Slayer, vehemently) You.", "Buffy: (tries to be polite) You know what? (smiles supportively) I, I like the look. (stammers) It's, um... it's, it's extreme, but it, it, it looks good, you know, it's a (breathes deeply) leather thing, and, uh... (to Xander) I said extreme already, right?", "Evil Willow: (steps up to Buffy, eyes narrowed with hatred) I don't like you.", "Buffy: (taken aback) Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth. (puzzled) But you know... y-you really didn't have to prove anything. Evil Willow glares at both of them with disgust. She has nothing to say to these humans.", "Evil Willow: Leaving now. (starts away)", "Xander: Will, gotta say, not lovin' the new you.", "Buffy: (goes after her) Will, wait... She grasps Evil Willow's arm from behind and turns her around, and is dumbfounded when she sees her in her vampire guise.", "Evil Willow: (roars) Get off me! She shakes the Slayer off and stalks away, leaving Buffy and Xander standing there in complete shock and dawning horror.", "Cut to an alley. Evil Willow strides along it at a brisk pace. Behind her two vampires come into view.", "Alfonse: Willow Rosenberg.", "Evil Willow: (stops and smiles to herself in anticipation) I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.", "Alfonse: Then we won't talk. He nudges his partner to attack. Evil Willow does a side kick at him, sending him stumbling back. Alfonse lunges at her, but she grabs onto his shoulder and uses his momentum to flip him to the ground. She turns around and does a half-spinning hook kick to the other one's head. He backs up a step, but keeps his balance and leans back in to punch Evil Willow. She middle blocks two shots and follows up with a punch to his head. She grabs his shoulder while he's dazed and flips him over onto his back. Alfonse comes at her again, and she connects with a roundhouse kick to his side. He falls, but gets up quickly and grabs her shoulder. She grabs onto his hand to keep it in place, and with her other hand she pushes down on his shoulder, forcing him to flip forward onto his back. She takes his hand and jerks it back hard, snapping his wrist. He grunts in pain and gives in.", "Evil Willow: (reprovingly) You made me cranky. She brushes her fingers against his.", "Alfonse: (panting) There's been a mistake here. We were sent after a human.", "Evil Willow: (intrigued) Really? Who do you work for?", "Alfonse: (hoarsely) I'm not telling you a thing. With a half-smile, she takes one of his fingers and bends it back sharply, breaking it. He screams in pain.", "Evil Willow: (still smiling) Who do you work for?", "Alfonse: (gives in) Wilkins. The Mayor. She takes another finger and breaks it, too. Again he cries out in pain.", "Evil Willow: *Who* do you work for? (bats her eyes suggestively)", "Alfonse: (gets it) You. She drops his arm and lets him up. The other vampire gets up also, rubbing his head.", "Evil Willow: (commands) Get your friends. Bring them here. The world's no fun anymore. (smiles evilly) We're gonna make it the way it was. Starting with the Bronze. Alfonse nods obediently at his new boss.", "Cut to the library. Buffy and Xander come in, both silent, very detached from reality. Giles hears them come in and walks out from his office.", "Giles: Oh, Buffy. I thought you were going out tonight. I didn't expect... He sees the oppressive grief in their expressions.", "Giles: (very worried) What is it?", "Cut to later, after they've explained. They all sit on the stairs to the stacks, detached and staring off into space. Giles dangles his glasses from his hands. Xander idly handles a cross.", "Xander: (takes a breath) This isn't real.", "Buffy: (numbly) I can't feel anything. Arms, legs, anything.", "Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us.", "Xander: Way better than me.", "Giles: (nods decisively) Much, much better.", "Xander: It's all my fault.", "Buffy: (despairingly) No, it's me. I-it's me. I'm the one that called her reliable. She must have gone out and gotten attacked, which she never would have done if I hadn't have called her reliable. And now my best friend is... Willow walks in and finds them there.", "Willow: (curiously) What's going on? They all look up surprised. Xander lifts his cross in defense. Willow notices their sad faces and is amazed at their expressions.", "Willow: Jeez, who died? She notices just how deeply sad they really are and realizes she may have gotten it right.", "Willow: (almost panicked) Oh, God! Who died? Xander jumps up and gets in Willow's face with the cross.", "Xander: Back! Get back, demon! She doesn't cower from it, but instead shows deep concern for him, thinking maybe he's flipped out or something. Xander shakes the cross as though it were broken and puts it back in her face. Buffy and Giles notice that she's not frightened of the cross, and slowly approach.", "Buffy: (breathlessly) Willow, you're alive?", "Willow: (puzzled) Aren't I usually? Without any further hesitation, Buffy runs the two steps to her best friend and hugs her hard and close.", "Buffy: Oh! Willow is surprised, and lets out a little groan from the tightness of the embrace. An instant later Xander is also hugging her for all he's worth.", "Willow: (wonderingly) I love you guys, too? The hug goes on for a long moment before it gets too intense for Willow.", "Willow: Okay. Oxygen becoming an issue. They both let go, smiling at her with tears in their eyes. She smiles back, but still doesn't know what to make of it all.", "Willow: Giles, what's going on with these... Before she can finish she finds herself being warmly embraced again by the normally reserved Watcher.", "Willow: Oh! Again she groans from the tightness of the hug, and Giles quickly releases her, a bit embarrassed at his emotional display.", "Giles: Oh. Sorry. (backs away)", "Willow: (still wondering) It's really nice that you guys missed me. (wide-eyed) Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?", "Xander: (breathless) Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire.", "Willow: (startled, then insulted) I'm not a *vampire*.", "Buffy: You are. (gets a look from Willow) I-I mean, you, you were. (very confused) Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?", "Giles: (very unsure) Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening.", "Xander: (facetiously) Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?", "Cut to the Bronze. Anya walks up to the bar and sits.", "Anya: (wearily) What a day. (to the bartender) Gimme a beer.", "Bartender: (deadpan) I.D. She gives him an incredulous look.", "Bartender: I.D.", "Anya: (loses it, thumps her fists on the bar) I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a friggin' beer!", "Bartender: (unimpressed) I.D.", "Anya: (sighs, defeated) Gimme a Coke.", "Cut to the stage. Oz and Devon set up their equipment.", "Devon: Man, we need a roadie. (wistfully) Other bands have roadies.", "Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven *completely* different chords.", "Devon: That's just, like, fruity jazz bands. He looks worriedly at Oz, seeking confirmation for this theory.", "Angel: (finds them) Oz.", "Oz: Hey, man. You looking for Buffy?", "Angel: As always.", "Oz: Well, no sightings as of yet, but I think she said she'd show. The door to the club opens, and in walk several vampires. They fan out into the crowd. The people back away in fright. Alfonse comes in last, grabs an unlucky boy and throws him into a table.", "Oz: (quietly to Angel) That doesn't look good.", "Alfonse: (yells) EVERYBODY, SHUT UP! From over at the bar, Anya notices the vampires and begins to take an interest.", "Alfonse: (to everyone) Alright. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave... and nobody gets hurt.", "Angel: (quietly) Why don't I believe him?", "Oz: (quietly) Well, he lacks credibility. They notice one of the vampires prevent a guy from leaving through the back door.", "Oz: Can you get outta here?", "Angel: (eyes cast upward) Skylight in the roof. I can make it.", "Oz: (worried) I think we need some backup.", "Angel: (evenly) I think I'm needed here.", "Oz: (raises his eyebrows) Ten to one. Could get pointless. The door opens again and another vampire enters, followed closely by Evil Willow. She looks around at everyone, very pleased. Anya straightens up now, quite intrigued. Evil Willow smiles when she reaches the middle of the empty dance floor.", "Evil Willow: Look. Everyone's all afraid. (sighs blissfully) It's just like old times.", "Oz: (in utter disbelief) Get Buffy. Do it now. Angel wastes no time, wheels around, and begins climbing the stage ropes to the roof. Devon gets in close behind Oz.", "Devon: (quietly, smiling) Dude, check out your girlfriend. Evil Willow saunters leisurely over to a girl alone at a table.", "Evil Willow: (sweetly) What's your name?", "Sandy: Sandy. Evil Willow lightly brushes her hands along Sandy's arm and takes her hand. She slowly pulls her onto the dance floor where everyone can see them.", "Evil Willow: You don't have to be afraid... (smiles disarmingly) just to please me. (to everyone) If you're all good boys and girls, we'll make you young and strong forever and ever. She turns Sandy around to face the stage and stands behind her, continuing to fondle Sandy's shoulders and head.", "Evil Willow: (enticingly) We'll have fun. Sandy flinches when Evil Willow grasps her hair and pulls it to the side, forcing Sandy to tilt her head, leaving her neck bare. Evil Willow lasciviously licks the girl's neck.", "Evil Willow: If you're not... She looks around warningly, vamps out, smiles, licks her lips and roars as she bites Sandy savagely on the neck and drains her dry. Oz tries to run from the stage to Sandy's aid, but is stopped by one of the vampires.", "Devon: (to Oz) No, man! When Evil Willow is finished feeding, she lets Sandy's lifeless body collapse to the floor and morphs back to her human guise.", "Evil Willow: (idly curious) Questions? Comments?", "Oz: (shocked) Willow. You don't wanna do this.", "Evil Willow: (approaches blithely) I don't? (smiles proudly) But I'm so good at it. The vampire holding Oz lets him go down to meet her.", "Oz: (horrified) Who *did* this to you?", "Evil Willow: (recognizes him) I know you. (disgustedly) You're a White Hat. (eyes narrow, puzzled) How come you're talking to me like we're friends? Anya slowly comes up to her from behind.", "Anya: (unafraid) 'Cause he thinks you're someone else. He thinks you're the Willow that belongs in *this* reality.", "Evil Willow: (confused) Another me?", "Anya: You know this isn't your world, right? I mean, you know you don't belong here.", "Evil Willow: (softly) No. This is a dumb world. (smiles wistfully) In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies.", "Anya: (states the obvious) You wanna get back there.", "Evil Willow: (nods mournfully) Yeah.", "Anya: So do I.", "Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Giles sits deep in thought. Willow leans in Giles' office doorway while Buffy and Xander sit on the study table.", "Willow: This is creepy. I don't like the thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me.", "Xander: Not looks like. Is.", "Buffy: It was exactly you, Will, every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix. (uneasily) As far as we know.", "Willow: (rolls her eyes, grins sardonically) Oh, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night. Giles furrows his brow. Buffy and Xander's eyes glaze over.", "Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?", "Buffy: Oh, yeah. They all look up when Angel makes a quick and noisy entrance, breathing hard from running.", "Angel: (very upset) Buffy, I... I just... Something's happened that... He pauses when he gets patient, waiting looks from Buffy and Xander.", "Angel: (blurts it out) Willow's dead. Buffy and Xander nod knowingly. Willow straightens up from leaning against the door frame. Angel notices her.", "Angel: (distractedly) Hey, Willow. He looks back at Buffy and Xander. Xander raises his eyebrows at him. Suddenly it clicks in Angel's mind, and he does a double take at Willow.", "Angel: (very confused) Wait a second. He looks back at Buffy and Xander for confirmation. Giles raises his eyebrows, rolls his eyes and grimaces.", "Xander: (understandingly) We're *right* there with you, buddy.", "Buffy: We saw her, too, at the Bronze. Willow smiles reassuringly at him and blithely waves.", "Angel: (still somewhat unsure) Okay. She's there now with a cadre of vampires looking to party. They all immediately get up and head out.", "Buffy: (resignedly) We can figure out who she is *after* we stop the feeding frenzy.", "Cut to the hall.", "Buffy: How many of them were there?", "Angel: Eight or ten.", "Buffy: (to Giles) Should we call Faith?", "Giles: No, I don't want her in combat yet. Not around civilians.", "Xander: (heartily) Hear, hear.", "Willow: (holds back) Guys? (they stop and look back) What are we gonna do with me? The... other... me? The three men look at each other uncomfortably, shuffling their feet and hanging back. Buffy realizes she has to take the lead.", "Buffy: (comes closer to Willow) I don't know, Will. (hesitates) I mean, we just have to stop them.", "Willow: I-I get that. I just kind of wanted to know... (thinks of something) Oh! Hey, uh, go. I-I'll catch up. She heads back into the library as the others go. Cut inside the library. Willow goes to the checkout counter and leans over, but can't reach what she's looking for. She starts to go around it, but an arm reaches around from behind and grabs her. A hand clamps over her mouth to prevent her from screaming.", "Evil Willow: (gloating) Alone at last.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Evil Willow turns Willow around and looks her up and down, particularly noticing her pink sweater.", "Evil Willow: (appraisingly) Well, look at me. (doubtfully) I'm all fuzzy.", "Willow: What do I want with you? (catches herself) Uh...", "Evil Willow: (grimly) Your little school friend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world.", "Willow: Oh. (gets it) Oh! Oops!", "Evil Willow: But I don't know... (smiles wickedly) I kinda *like* the idea of the two of us. She turns Willow around again, caressing her shoulders.", "Evil Willow: We could be quite a team, (meaningfully) if you came around to *my* way of thinking.", "Willow: (uncertainly) Would that mean we have to snuggle? Evil Willow brushes Willow's hair away from her neck.", "Evil Willow: (coaxing) What do you say? She gives Willow's neck an eager, lengthy lick. Willow shudders with loathing and grimaces at the feeling.", "Evil Willow: (enticingly) Wanna be bad?", "Willow: (completely unnerved) This just can't get more disturbing. Evil Willow growls horribly with desire and bares her teeth behind Willow's neck. Willow freaks out and whirls around, stepping back and away from her.", "Willow: (flapping her hands with disgust) Ack! Ew! No more! You're really starting to freak me out! She tries to go around Evil Willow, but gets blocked. She snatches up Xander's cross from the counter and nervously waves it in Evil Willow's face, who roars and bats her arm away, sending the cross flying. She grabs Willow and throws her hard up and over the counter. Willow lands with a crash, hitting her head hard against the metal filing cabinet.", "Willow: Ow!", "Evil Willow: (stalks grimly around the counter) You don't wanna play, I guess I can't force you. Willow reaches under the counter for what she originally came for and pulls out the dart rifle just as Evil Willow comes through the door to behind the counter.", "Evil Willow: Oh, wait. Willow locks the bolt in place.", "Evil Willow: (smiling meanly) I can. Willow frantically aims and fires. The dart hits Evil Willow dead center of her chest. Stunned, she looks down at the protruding dart, staggers and starts to fall.", "Evil Willow: (moans) Bitch... She hits the floor. Willow stares in fearful amazement at her other fallen self.", "Cut to later. Angel and Xander drag Evil Willow by the arms into the book cage.", "Giles: (dumbfounded) It's extraordinary.", "Willow: (appalled) It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? (Angel closes the door) I'm so evil and... skanky. (aside to Buffy, worried) And I think I'm kinda gay.", "Buffy: (reassuringly) Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.", "Angel: (without thinking) Well, actually... (gets a look from Buffy) That's a good point.", "Xander: So, uh, what do we do now?", "Giles: We still have to get to the Bronze.", "Angel: Well, even if they're supposed to wait for her they may start feeding. Vampires are not notoriously reliable.", "Xander: (hopefully) So we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne?", "Giles: High casualty risk. I haven't any other plan, though.", "Buffy: (raises her hand) Uh, I have a really bad idea.", "Cut to the Bronze. The camera pans from the sign down to the group. Angel drops down from the roof onto a crate, then down to the pavement.", "Angel: They're still in a holding pattern. That's good. It means they must really be afraid of you. Willow walks up to them wearing Evil Willow's leather ensemble.", "Willow: Who wouldn't be? She shifts around uncomfortably, trying to get the feel of the tight outfit.", "Buffy: Are you okay in that?", "Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. (notices her cleavage) Gosh, look at those. Xander stares with wide eyes.", "Giles: (stammers) Um, ahem, Willow, you, uh, you go in and defuse the situation as best you can. At least try and get some of them to come out and even up the odds a bit.", "Buffy: First sign of trouble, you give us a signal. We come in hard and fast.", "Xander: What *is* the signal?", "Willow: (worried) Me screaming.", "Angel: Giles, you and Xander wait by the back entrance.", "Giles: Good. They go. Buffy shows concern for her friend.", "Buffy: Now, you're sure you're up to this?", "Willow: Don't worry. I won't do anything that could be interpreted as brave. (smiles)", "Buffy: We'll be right outside. Willow nods wanly and heads for the door, still twisting uncomfortably in the leather. She takes a deep breath and knocks with firm resolve. Cut inside. A vampire opens the door. Willow smiles and waves at him in greeting.", "Willow: Hi. I'm back. She slowly comes in. Alfonse and Anya meet her inside. Willow does her best not to show her fear.", "Alfonse: Did you find the girl?", "Willow: (tries to sound authoritative) Yep. I did.", "Anya: (mystified) Where is she?", "Willow: (bravely) I killed her. Anya gives her a look of stunned disbelief.", "Willow: And sucked her blood, (nods triumphantly) as we vampires do. The silence is thick with tension, making her nervous. She turns to the doorman.", "Willow: (quietly aside to him) You know, I think maybe I heard something out there. Why don't you go check? He opens the door and goes out, closing the door behind him. Outside Angel grabs him by the shoulders and holds him steady as Buffy plunges a stake into his chest. Back inside, Anya confronts Willow.", "Anya: (incredulous) H-how could you kill her? She was our best shot at getting your world back.", "Willow: (walks past her, straightens challengingly) I don't like that you dare question me. Oz notices that something's up.", "Willow: (now enjoying herself) Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly. She sneaks Oz a little smile and wave. He barely reacts, just raising an eyebrow a bit. Anya follows her onto the dance floor.", "Anya: (muttering) Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.", "Willow: (haughtily) She bothered me. She's so weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her, (turns to face her) and then she gets cranky with her friends for no reason. I just *couldn't* let her live. She steps over to another vampire, indicating the door.", "Willow: (chummily) You know, he's been gone for a while. Why don't you go check on him? (pats his shoulder approvingly) He heads for the door and goes out.", "Alfonse: (impatiently) Well, Boss, since that plan is out, why don't we get with the killing? Willow suddenly worries that her plan may have backfired.", "Cut to the library. Evil Willow regains consciousness in the book cage, now dressed in Willow's pink sweater and flowery skirt. She sits up and notices her change of clothes.", "Evil Willow: (recoiling) Oh, this is like a nightmare. The door opens, and Cordelia comes into the library. She's dressed in a shimmery evening dress, carrying a couple of books.", "Cordelia: Hello? Giles? Evil Willow notices her and remembers her recent kill in the alternate universe.", "Cordelia: (casually) Wesley? I just happened to stop by... for books.", "Evil Willow: (stands up, speaks imperiously) Hey, you.", "Cordelia: (faces her) 'Hey me'? (insulted) 'Hey me' what? I have a name, you know.", "Evil Willow: (thinks) Uh, Cordelia.", "Cordelia: (steps over) What did you do? Lock yourself in the book cage?", "Evil Willow: (cunningly goes along with it) Yeah. Lemme out... 'Cause I'm so helpless.", "Cordelia: Okay. She heads behind the counter. Evil Willow smirks at her success.", "Cordelia: I think Giles keeps a spare. How'd you manage to lock yourself in, anyway?", "Evil Willow: Uh, I was looking at books. I like... books... Cordelia finds the keys and goes back to the cage.", "Evil Willow: ...'cause I'm shy.", "Cordelia: (sarcastically) Yeah, right. The famous shy girl act all the boys fall for.", "Evil Willow: (anxiously) Open the cage. (tenses up) Cordelia puts in the key and turns it, but stops short of unlocking it. She looks up at Evil Willow and has a thought.", "Cordelia: Wait. (briskly) It occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman... with you locked up.", "Evil Willow: (impatient) Don't wanna talk. Hungry.", "Cordelia: (pretends to think) What could we talk about? Oh! Hey! How about the ethics of boyfriend stealing? Evil Willow can't believe it.", "Cut to the Bronze.", "Willow: I don't know if I feel like killing anymore. Anya and Alfonse can't believe their ears. Willow walks past a girl at a table.", "Willow: I'm so bored. She idly rakes her fingers through the girl's long hair, but they get tangled. Rather than pull them through harder to keep in character, she gently lays the girl's hair back. Anya begins to get suspicious. Willow strolls over to the stage, putting Oz to her back.", "Willow: I-it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Where's the fun?", "Alfonse: (smiles grimly) With all due respect, Boss, the fun would be the eating.", "Willow: (brilliantly) Maybe we should let everyone go, and give them a thirty second head start.", "Anya: (finally figures it out) Wait a minute.", "Willow: (frowns fretfully) No! I *like* my plan.", "Anya: (snickers) Oh, nice try.", "Willow: (desperately) Okay, let's get to the killing. (hurriedly to Alfonse) Why don't we start with her?", "Anya: Why don't we start with you? (to Alfonse, in disgust) If she's a vampire, then I'm the creature from the black lagoon.", "Cut to the library. Evil Willow hangs onto the cage mesh, extremely bored. Cordelia has made herself comfortable, seated in a chair facing the cage and holding a mug of coffee.", "Cordelia: (rationalizing) And, okay, it isn't even like I was that attracted to Xander. It was more just that we kept being put in these life or death situations, and that's always all sexy and stuff. Evil Willow just stares blankly out of the cage.", "Cordelia: (gets up) I mean, I more or less knew he was a loser. (sets down the mug) (huffily) But that doesn't make it okay for you to come around and... (notices Evil Willow's stare) What? Do I have something on my neck?", "Evil Willow: (wearily) Not yet.", "Cordelia: (worried) Am I getting a zit? (checks her skin)", "Evil Willow: (very bored and tired) Cordelia, I'm *very* sorry. I realize I was wrong. I'll never steal your boyfriend again.", "Cordelia: (stung) Like you could! I should just leave you in there, but I'm a great humanitarian, (gets the keys) and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime. She unlocks the cage, turns the handle and pulls the door open. Evil Willow steps out.", "Evil Willow: Okay. (vamps out) How about dinner? ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall outside the library. The doors burst open, and Cordelia shoots out screaming wildly and runs down the hall. Cut to a dark empty classroom. Cordelia runs in and backs up along two rows of desks, pulling them together as she goes to block Evil Willow's way.", "Cordelia: (desperately) I didn't mean all that stuff I said before. I want you to have Xander. My blessings on you both! Evil Willow just pushes the desks back apart, making a game of it.", "Evil Willow: I'm *so* over him. I need fresh blood. Cordelia runs away screaming through the classroom's back door.", "Cut to the hall in front of the library. Wesley is walking toward the doors, when another scream from Cordelia catches him by surprise. He reacts defensively, dropping his briefcase and spinning round, but quickly recovers himself and starts running in the direction of the scream, abandoning his briefcase, reaching under his jacket for a cross.", "Cut to the girls' bathroom. Cordelia runs in and realizes she's made a mistake, trapping herself. Evil Willow strolls in behind her.", "Evil Willow: No more hiding. Cordelia backs away as she advances. Suddenly Wesley jumps out and brandishes his cross in her face.", "Wesley: (commandingly) Back! Creature of the night! Evil Willow growls angrily.", "Wesley: (warningly) Leave this place!", "Evil Willow: Don't wanna. Wesley quickly but nervously reaches into his jacket and pulls out a vial of holy water. Evil Willow sighs. He holds it up, threatening to throw it on her.", "Evil Willow: (sighs heavily) Whatever. She turns and leaves. Wesley slowly relaxes, heaving a sigh of relief and lowering the cross and the vial. Cordelia walks up behind him and lightly touches him on the shoulder. He freaks out, screams and spins around, thrusting the cross and holy water right into Cordelia's face. He lowers them when he recognizes her, and tries to catch his breath.", "Cordelia: (whines apologetically) I'm sorry.", "Wesley: (puts the water away) No, no. (breathes deeply) A little on edge. (bravely) You know, men in combat. (makes a tough face) Grr. (concerned) Are you all right?", "Cordelia: (awed) You saved my life. Thank you! She flings herself worshipfully at him and throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly.", "Wesley: (awkwardly) Oh, yes. Uh... Yes. He is somewhat startled, but enjoys the hug while it lasts. Then they both peer out the door.", "Wesley: (stunned) Was that...?", "Cordelia: Willow. (shakes her head sorrowfully) They got Willow. (gets over it) (brightly) So, are you doing anything tonight? Wesley is rendered speechless.", "Cut to the Bronze.", "Anya: (dispirited) I'm just so tired of being around human beings and all their baggage. I-I don't care if I ever get my powers back. Oz gets behind Willow, backing her up. Willow gulps.", "Anya: (crosses her arms) I think he (meaning Alfonse) should eat you.", "Willow: (improvises quickly) This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. (desperately) I'm a blood-sucking fiend! (pats herself) Look at my outfit!", "Alfonse: (shakes his head in shame) A human. I should have smelled it right away.", "Willow: A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? She screams at the top of her lungs. Anya and Alfonse aren't impressed, and respond simultaneously.", "Anya: Sure. Yeah. Humans do that. Yeah. (shrugs)", "Alfonse: (concurring) Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah. Willow is about ready to panic. Suddenly the door to the club is thrown open, and Buffy and Angel make their entrance. Buffy log rolls over the edge of a pool table, grabbing a cue stick along the way, as Alfonse runs over to engage her. Buffy uses the cue to block a high punch from Alfonse and then hits him in the chest with it. Then she spins halfway around to face another vampire and jabs him in the gut with the cue. As he doubles over in pain, Buffy whirls around and slams the end of the cue into the back of his head. Anya looks around at the chaos, and decides it's time to make a break for it. She meets Willow on her way, though, who doesn't fancy Anya getting off scott free. Anya smiles guilelessly at her, but doesn't get away with it. Willow grunts as she punches Anya hard, sending her to the floor unconscious. Unfortunately, the punch really hurts her hand.", "Willow: Ow! Ow! Ow! Happy, but ow! Oz snatches her away from the fray and up onto the stage. Devon tries to copy Angel's earlier move and climb up the stage ropes, but just doesn't have the strength to do it. The customers flee through the now-open front door while Angel ducks a half spinning jumping in-to-out crescent kick, shoves the vampire that tried it into a post and kidney-punches him. Out of the corner of his eye he spots another vampire coming at him and delivers a side kick to his stomach. He then grabs the one slumped by the post and hurls him through the air into a magazine rack. Angel turns back to the other vampire, spins twice and delivers a nasty backhand punch to his face, making him fall face down onto the pool table. Angel grabs onto his jacket, yanks him back up and punches him in the face, knocking him down. Meanwhile the first vampire is back up behind Angel and punches him in the face as he turns to face him. On the stage Oz yells back at Devon, who's gotten caught in the ropes.", "Oz: Devon, come on! Oz leads Willow away backstage, but they are blocked by Evil Willow, just arriving in her vampire guise. She grabs Oz by his shirt and smashes him into Devon, and the two boys crash to the floor.", "Willow: (frightened) No more snuggles? Evil Willow backhand punches her hard, causing her to fall back against the drum set. It makes plenty of noise as she and the cymbals crash loudly to the floor. In the back room, Giles and Xander wrench the door open just as the guard vampire throws back a fleeing patron. Xander grabs him from behind and tries to stake him, but gets thrown off and into a wall. Giles double-fists him in the face, but gets thrown back into another wall. Xander regains his footing and punches the vampire hard in the face, making his neck snap back, dazing him. He grabs the vampire by the jacket and flips him over onto his back at the base of some stairs. Giles rushes in, falls to his knees and stakes him. On the stage Evil Willow steps over to Willow and grabs her around the neck, choking her. Over by the pool tables Buffy swings her cue around, aiming for Alfonse's head, but he grabs the cue and wrests it from her grip. Even so, the shock of the blow sends him falling to the floor. Another vampire launches a punch at Buffy and hits her squarely in the side of the head. She takes it in stride and delivers both a backhand punch and a punch to his jaw. He stumbles against a post, where Buffy roundhouse kicks him twice in the face. He tries to punch her, but she grabs onto his arm, sidesteps him and throws him into a rack of cues. On the stage a struggling Willow is doing her best to hold her alter ego at bay, but isn't having much success. A vampire does an axe kick at Angel, but he rolls out of the way just in time so the vampire's leg lands on the pool table instead of Angel's head. Angel smashes his arm down on the vampire's knee, audibly breaking it, and then does a backhand punch to his face. The vampire falls backward to the floor. Angel reaches onto the pool table and picks up some balls, which he throws at an incoming vampire. They just bounce off of him, and he tries to punch Angel, who blocks it with both hands and backhands the vampire in the face, making him stagger back into the pole. The vampire roars and immediately comes back, grabs Angel and carries him out of the shot. Alfonse swings the cue stick at Buffy, but she grabs hold of it and swings it downward and around, wresting it from his grip. She then follows up with a full spinning wheel kick to his face, sending him to the floor. She hears Willow cry out from the stage and glimpses her predicament. Alfonse gets back to his feet, and Buffy uppercuts him with the cue. He goes flying into the pastry bar. On stage Evil Willow tightens her grip on Willow's neck. Behind Buffy Alfonse gets back up, but Buffy jams the business end of the cue stick into his chest without even looking back, dusting him. Things are looking dire for Willow on stage. Buffy runs to her aid, smashing the cue into the back of a vampire's head along the way and breaking it, resulting in a sharp makeshift stake. She leaps up onto the stage and is about to stab down hard with it into Evil Willow's back with it, when Willow shouts out to stop her.", "Willow: (urgently) BUFFY, NO! Buffy reacts instantly, holding back just short of penetration, and instead grabs Evil Willow and yanks her roughly away from Willow, restraining her securely. Angel is finished with his fight also and hops up onto the stage as well. Evil Willow realizes that she is now outnumbered. Willow stands up and gingerly massages her neck.", "Willow: (admiringly) Nice reflexes.", "Buffy: (shrugs gracefully) Well, I work out.", "Evil Willow: (to Willow, sadly) This world's no fun.", "Willow: (surprised, empathetically) You noticed that, too?", "Cut to the factory where Evil Willow first appeared in this reality. Giles, Anya and Oz finish setting up for the spell to send Evil Willow back. Giles lights the candles. Xander steps over to Evil Willow, but cautiously, not getting too close. Angel keeps a wary eye on her from behind.", "Xander: So, um, in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Evil Willow just looks askance at him, then rolls her eyes and turns away.", "Xander: (steps away, chortling gleefully) Oh, yeah. I'm bad. Oz stands up and walks behind Willow and Buffy, who are observing Evil Willow.", "Buffy: (uncertainly) I'm not sure about releasing this thing into the wild, Will. It is a demon. Evil Willow checks on Angel behind her.", "Willow: (penitently) I just can't kill her.", "Buffy: (regretfully) No. Me, neither.", "Willow: (hesitantly) I mean, I know she's not me. We have a big nothing in common, but... still.", "Buffy: (understandingly) There but for the grace of getting bit.", "Willow: (resolutely) We send her back to her world, and she stands a chance. It's the way it should be anyway.", "Giles: Uh, we're about ready here. Willow goes over to Evil Willow.", "Giles: (to Anya, warningly) Don't you try any tricks now, dear.", "Anya: (sulkily) I don't need tricks. (arrogantly contemptuous) When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me. Both Willows roll their eyes and shake their heads at her delusions of grandeur.", "Giles: (unimpressed) Yes, uh, if you, uh, Willows, would like to, uh, (gestures where they should kneel) complete the circle. Willow faces Evil Willow for the last time.", "Willow: Good luck. (helpfully) Try not to kill people. Evil Willow doesn't display any emotion, but Willow smiles warmly at her and gives her a big hug. Evil Willow isn't sure what to make of that, but gets into the spirit and does some naughty touching. Willow jumps back from her reach.", "Willow: (shocked) Hands! Hands! Evil Willow gives her a naughty, knowing smile. The two of them walk over to join the circle. They kneel down as the camera pulls back. The screen fades to white, and then returns to the ongoing fight in the alternate universe. Evil Willow materializes and smiles, relieved to be back in her own reality, only to be suddenly grabbed by Oz and shoved back onto a broken piece of the wooden cage, effectively impaling her through the heart.", "Evil Willow: (miserably) Aw, f... She explodes into ashes. The screen flashes back to white and back to Sunnydale High. The camera pans down to Willow and Buffy sitting together on a wall.", "Buffy: You wanna go out tonight?", "Willow: Strangely, I feel like staying at home... (sadly) and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin.", "Buffy: (sagely) You know, you can O.D. on virtue.", "Willow: Between me and my evil self, I've got double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.", "Percy: (comes up to them, a bit nervous) Hey. Uh, hi.", "Willow: Oh, hi. Listen, I didn't have a chance...", "Percy: (interrupts) Okay, so I did the outline for the paper on Roosevelt. (hands it to her) It turns out there were two President Roosevelts, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both. He hands her the other one. Both are nicely bound in folders. Buffy gives Willow a knowing smile. Willow just stares at him in stunned amazement.", "Percy: (respectfully) Um, and I know they're kinda, kinda short, but I can flesh them out. Oh, and here's the bibliography. (hands it to her) Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I'll get on it. Willow is speechless, amazed by his sudden change in attitude. He starts to go, but comes back to lay an apple on the folders in her lap. He leaves again, hopping athletically over a low wall.", "Buffy: (innocently) You wanna go out tonight?", "Willow: (hopefully) 9:00 sound good?" ]

[ "The Mayor ( Harry Groener ) and Faith plot to use a demon to steal Angel's soul and let Angelus remove Buffy from the picture." ]

[ "Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night, in front of the cinema. Marquee: Le Banquet D'Amelia. Buffy and Angel walk out amidst other moviegoers.", "Buffy: Well.", "Angel: Well.", "Buffy: That was very ... artistic.", "Angel: Yeah.", "Buffy: Wasn't what I expected. I've never actually seen... Well, from the title I thought it was about food.", "Angel: Well there was food.", "Buffy: Right. The, the scene with the, the food. So, feel like getting some hot chocolate? Or some cold shower?", "Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They changed.", "Buffy: A little scary. And a little not, which is also scary. I'm sorry. I just, I don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul. Besides, I don't even own a kimono.", "Angel: Buffy, you don't have to worry about me.", "Buffy: Just don't like to rub your nose in it. Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from.", "Angel: Look, I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. Doesn't mean that I'm gonna lose control, that I'm going to be frustrated around you. It feels nice, just to feel.", "Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy, when we're close?", "Angel: Watch this. (long kiss) See? Safe as houses. (more kisses)", "Faith: Check out the lust bunnies.", "Buffy: Patrol? Faith nods.", "Angel: Council has you back on active duty?", "Faith: Finally. They want us down by Mercer.", "Buffy: Okay. (to Angel) Goodnight.", "Angel: I'll see you soon.", "Faith: Don't worry, big guy. Just keeping her warm for you. Faith and Buffy leave, arm in arm. Cut to a cemetary. Buffy and Faith walk together.", "Faith: Gotta tell you, B. The willpower thing, nice job.", "Buffy: Thanks.", "Faith: But, the close but no cigar thing with Angel. I don't know if I could handle, you know, the way you're not handling it.", "Buffy: Faith, when it comes to Angel, do me a favor. Duck! Faith ducks and Buffy punches a demon behind her.", "Demon: Ow! Ooh! What are you, nuts? Going around punching people? Buffy pulls off its hat to reveal two horns growing out of its forehead.", "Buffy: People?", "Demon: So what, I'm a demon. That makes it okay? Both Slayers ready their stakes.", "Demon: Hold it, whoa! Stake me now, and you never find out what I got for ya, huh? Think about it. Demon seeks Slayers, highly unusual?", "Faith: Talk fast.", "Demon: How would you like to get your hands on the Books of Ascension?", "Buffy: Never heard of 'em.", "Demon: Books of Ascension. Very powerful works and I'm not talking about the prose. They deal with some, ah, dark stuff. And the Mayor (Faith frowns) would hate for somebody to get ahold before he, ah, well you know.", "Buffy: Don't know. Before he what?", "Demon: Hey, hey, read 'em and weep. That's all I got to say. Tomorrow, I get the books. Meet me here and if the price is right, well I give the books to you.", "Buffy: Not really looking to trade with a demon.", "Demon: And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a problem. I want cash, princess, five large for the whole set.", "Faith: So you can buy, I'm guessing here, some skin care products.", "Demon: Plane ticket. Out of the Hellmouth before its adios, Slayer Loco. So, five G's, what do you say?", "Faith: I think \"Die Fiend\" sums it up, wouldn't you say. The Demon jumps between them and runs away.", "Buffy: Oh, let him go. I don't think he falls into the deadly threat to humanity category.", "Faith: A demon's a demon.", "Buffy: I'd like to know about these Books of Ascension. Anything that would pin the Mayor down would be great.", "Faith: Yeah. It'd be great. Opening credits.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Mayor's office. Faith sits. The Mayor paces.", "Mayor: And what exactly did this demon look like?", "Faith: Demonic?", "Mayor: Ah. And you say he has the Books of Ascension, or will soon, and he was, what, willing to sell them?", "Faith: That's what I said.", "Mayor: Hmm. You know what I wish? I wish you'd pull your hair back. I know, I know, fashion's not exactly my thing, but, gosh darn it, you know, you've got such a nice face. I can't understand why you hide it.", "Faith: Yeah, sure. Whatever. It's just a matter of time before this demon guy is gonna spill. Then Buffy and the superfriends are gonna...", "Mayor: You know, you worry too much for a girl for your age. That's unnecessary stress. Luckily, I've got just the thing. The Mayor pours a glass of milk and hands it to Faith.", "Mayor: There you go. Now, first you load up on calcium. Then find this demon, kill the heck out of him, and bring the books to me. Faith looks at the milk and sets the glass down, untouched.", "Faith: And if Buffy gets to him first?", "Mayor: Oh, well. Frankly I don't like to think about that. I like good, positive, up thoughts. If you fail me in that way. Well, you know, replacing Mr. Trick was chore enough. (chuckles) Oh, come on, don't worry. Drink up. There's nothing uncool about healty teeth and bones.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library. Buffy, Xander, and Willow sit at the table. Wesley stands by it. Giles stands in the door of his office.", "Wesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.", "Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.", "Buffy: Well, he said the books were worth the price.", "Xander: What's this Ascenscion mean? Wesley looks at Giles.", "Giles: I'm not sure.", "Wesley: No, not really a common term in demonology.", "Willow: Ooh ooh! The Marenschadt Text. I think in the section on genocide, they mention Ascenscion.", "Buffy: Well, we have a winner.", "Xander: And, more importantly, two losers.", "Giles: Where did you find that volume?", "Willow: In the top of your book cabinet with the stuff you try to keep hidden. Giles disappears into his office to get the book.", "Xander: Hidden? Are there any engravings I should know about? Uh, frolicking nymphs of some kind?", "Willow: No. Just magic secrets Giles doesn't think I'm ready for. Giles returns with the book.", "Giles: Ah, yes, yes, here we are. There's a reference here to the journal of Desmond Kane, pastor of a town called Sharpsville. \"May 26, 1723. Tomorrow is the Ascenscion. God help us all.\" It was the last anyone heard.", "Wesley: Of Kane?", "Giles: Of Sharpsville. The town more or less disappeared.", "Buffy: So Ascenscion possibly not a love-in.", "Giles: I think you should meet with this demon, Buffy.", "Buffy: Yeah? Anybody got five thousand dollars? Cordelia enters and approaches Wesley.", "Cordelia: I have something important to ask you.", "Xander: Important? Let's start calculating those odds, people.", "Cordelia: What are you doing Friday night?", "Wesley: Uh, I, uh, as always my sacred duty as a Watcher prevents me from, ah... Why?", "Cordelia: I have a paper to write for English and you're English, so I thought ... (sees the looks from Buffy and Xander) What? Is it so wrong to be getting an insider's perspective? (to Wesley) I study best in a good restaurant, around eightish? Think it over? Wesley is speechless. Cordelia exits.", "Xander: And on the day the words \"flimsy excuse\" were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.", "Wesley: Right! Books of Ascenscion, Mayor, slaughter. Tell you what. Why don't we try to find this demon sooner rather than later? Perhaps persuade him to lend us the books free of charge.", "Buffy: I think Faith might be useful in that persuasion part.", "Wesley: I imagine so. Where is Faith anyway?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "The demon is frantically packing a suitcase. Faith kicks open the door of the room.", "Demon: Hey, Slayer! You know, I wasn't expecting company. Give me a minute and I'll have the place tidied up for you.", "Faith: You got the books?", "Demon: Well, that depends. You got my money? Faith slugs him.", "Demon: You're tough in negotiations and I respect that. Check 'em out. Now ah, that is quality merchandise. That's worth five grand easy.", "Faith: Books of Ascenscion.", "Demon: Mm hmm. Original editions and everything. Uh, great condition. Okay, it's a little worn on one spine, some slight foxing, but otherwise, perfect. Now, the five grand, it's ah, you know, negotiable.", "Faith: I don't like to haggle. She pulls a knife and stabs the demon. He struggles, they roll on the floor, but she finally kills him. She stares at the blood on her hands.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night, in Angel's mansion. Angel is reading. Faith enters.", "Angel: Faith.", "Faith: Angel. I got nowhere else to go. Look, I hate asking for help, but I'm asking, cause, uh, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. The real bad kind.", "Angel: It's okay.", "Faith: No, it's a couple of county lines over from okay, believe me.", "Angel: Look, just talk. Come on. Start from the beginning.", "Faith: Mind if I skip past the 'mom never loved me' part and get right to it? I'm scaring myself.", "Angel: I know the feeling.", "Faith: That's why I came to you. I don't want to get all twelve steppy, but remember when you told me that killing people would make me feel like some kind of god? (shows him her bloody hands) I think I just came down to earth. It's not human if that's what you're thinking. Not that that makes me feel any better or this guy any less dead.", "Angel: Faith, you need help. You can't do this alone.", "Faith: I know. For real now, I'm scared. Scared of what I am, what I'm turning into. Cold-blooded straight up killer. Like you.", "Angel: Not like me. I didn't have a choice. But you do. You can stop this.", "Faith: Believe me, I don't want to end up the way everybody said I would, dead or alone or a loser.", "Angel: No, you don't have to.", "Faith: I don't know. Maybe it's too late for me.", "Angel: It's not.", "Faith: Angel, I'm so scared. (hugs him)", "Angel: It's alright, shh, it's okay. They hug for a moment, then as they part, they hesitate, almost kissing. Angel pulls away.", "Angel: Whoa. Faith, I, look, I can be here for you. But not like that, alright? I'm with Buffy.", "Faith: Buffy, yeah. I didn't mean it like that. Maybe I did, but I wouldn't press it. You love her, don't you.", "Angel: I love her.", "Faith: Good for you. The two of you, you're lucky. Friends?", "Angel: Yeah, we're friends.", "Faith: Then I'm lucky too. I'd better go.", "Angel: Where?", "Faith: I need to cool down. Spend some time alone. Don't worry about me. You've been a big help. Just knowing somebody cares. Hey, I know I shouldn't be asking this, but do you think if things were different that things between you and me would be different, too?", "Angel: We'll never know.", "Faith: Right. How could we?", "Angel: Take care of yourself.", "Faith: Lifetime of practice. Faith kisses Angel on the cheek, then leaves. Buffy appears outside the mansion in time to see the kiss.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night, in Faith's new apartment.", "Faith: It's not like I wasn't trying, okay?", "Mayor: Hey, there's no need to convince me. I'm sure you gave it your level best. I just don't understand what that boy could be thinking?", "Faith: Try Buffy Summers, like in a big, fat, one track way.", "Mayor: Hey, come on, don't be discouraged. You're a bright, young, energetic girl with a whole life ahead of her. And I won't tolerate brooding. So you couldn't give him that one moment of true happiness.", "Faith: I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but okay.", "Mayor: And he spurns your advances. So be it. There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true. We want to take Angel's soul away. If we can't do it by giving him happiness, well, by golly, we'll just have to do it in the most painful way imaginable.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library.", "Wesley: Find anything?", "Giles: Six course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod-all as a palate closer.", "Wesley: I've had no better luck. There must be something about this Ascescion somewhere.", "Giles: Perhaps I should contact the Council, maybe run a search...", "Wesley: No. I don't, uh, it should be I that ... The Council isn't entirely aware that I'm letting you work for me (off Giles's look) um, with me. I don't think they'd be very happy at the idea of the two of us collaborating.", "Giles: Well I wasn't about to burst into glorious song about it myself. Why don't you call? Buffy enters, dispirited.", "Wesley: I think the most expedient plan would be to find these Books of Ascenscion themselves. Buffy, you and Faith must find this demon, and soon.", "Buffy: Well, I'll go back to the scene, see if I can track him.", "Wesley: Wait for Faith.", "Buffy: That could be hours. The girl makes Godot look punctual. I'll just go myself.", "Wesley: Buffy, this is a job for the both of you. This demon could be anywhere. Giles gives Buffy a look of concern.", "Wesley: If these books are important as he says, he has good reason to hide. (Xander enters) Finding him is going to be extremely difficult.", "Xander: Found your demon.", "Buffy: Fashion tip, Wes. Mouth looks better closed.", "Xander: Got the address. (hands Buffy a slip of paper) I beat it out of Willy the snitch personally.", "Buffy: You beat up Willy?", "Xander: Sure! Well, actually, let's just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then, uh, okay, I bribed him.", "Buffy: How much?", "Xander: Twenty-eight bucks. (to Giles) Does the Council reimburse for that kind of stuff?", "Giles: Did you get a receipt?", "Xander: Damn.", "Buffy: I know this. It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.", "Giles: Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.", "Buffy: I'll remember to mention that. Faith enters.", "Faith: Mention what? Where we going, girlfriend?", "Buffy: (pulls her arm away from Faith) Actually, I can handle this one solo.", "Faith: Why should you get to have all the fun? Share, share, that's fair, right?", "Buffy: Right. Got our demon.", "Faith: Oh, well, let's go look him up. Buffy marches away and Faith follows her.", "Xander: Is it me or did it just get really cold in here?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Buffy and Faith enter the demon's room.", "Buffy: Faith, careful.", "Faith: Right.", "Buffy: Missed you last night.", "Faith: Yeah, I was patrolling. No shortage of scum you gotta watch in Sunnydale, right?", "Buffy: So I've heard. Faith reaches around a doorway for a light switch without looking. Buffy notices but doesn't say anything. They see the body.", "Buffy: Looks like somebody got here first.", "Faith: Betting they got the books, too. Some hit.", "Buffy: This wasn't just a hit. This was somebody's idea of a party.", "Faith: Maybe the guy put up a fight. We gotta get going. Come on, nothing we can do here now. You coming?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight. In the Mayor's office. Across from him sits a mage concealed behind Bedouin robes. Only his eyes and upper nose are visible. The eyes seem serpentine.", "Mayor: Mint? Didn't think so. Well, scheduling a man of your talents is quite the chore, I'll tell you. Between the chanting and the sacrifice, oh, my golf game is shot. But heeere you are. You know why I've summoned you. Can you do it? (Mage nods) Need anything from me? (Mage shakes his head)", "Mage: You have risked great danger in calling on me. The deadliest magics are needed to rob this creature of its soul.", "Mayor: Big job alright.", "Mage: And so it shall be done.", "Mayor: Oh, that's just swell. Listen, you sure you don't want any? Cause they're, they're low calorie. Okay.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight. In a school lounge. Buffy and Willow sit together on a couch.", "Willow: Are you okay? You seem a little on edge. Is there anything that's wrong?", "Buffy: It's nothing. (Willow looks) It's nothing. (Willow looks) Alright, alright, stop with the third degree. It's Faith.", "Willow: What about her?", "Buffy: I went to Angel's last night and Faith was there. They looked sort of intimate.", "Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way!", "Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that.", "Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the do that girl.", "Buffy: Comfort, remember comfort, here?", "Willow: I mean, please, does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?", "Buffy: Actually, no.", "Willow: But Buffy, Angel. There's no way he would ever do that. I mean, you're the only thing in the world to him.", "Buffy: Sometimes I wonder. Angel and Faith have a lot in common. And there's so much he doesn't tell me.", "Willow: But it's so clear the way he feels about you. Buffy, I too know the love of a taciturn man and you have to look at their actions.", "Buffy: I was.", "Willow: Well, what did he say?", "Buffy: Say? You mean when I straightforwardly asked him what was going on?", "Willow: So you bailed?", "Buffy: I couldn't. I mean, not ...", "Willow: Enough. Stop with the crazy. Go talk to Angel.", "Buffy: But I ...", "Willow: No. Go. I give you leave to go. (points her finger away)", "Buffy: Thank you. Buffy leaves.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night. In Angel's mansion. Faith enters.", "Angel: Faith.", "Faith: Hey. Sorry to bust in uninvited.", "Angel: What do you want.", "Faith: Look, I'm not so good at apologies. Mostly because I think the world's out to screw me so I'm generally more owed than owing. But I've been thinking about last night and I want you to know I was really sorry.", "Angel: It's alright, Faith.", "Faith: No, it's not alright. Yeah, I was freaked and needed somebody, but you're with Buffy. I should know better.", "Angel: Yeah, okay. When Faith gets within arm's reach, Angel backs away.", "Faith: You don't trust me.", "Angel: It's not that.", "Faith: Hey, no problem. Join the club. She turns her back. He approaches her.", "Angel: Look, Faith. I know what you're going through, alright, and how hard it can be. It's important you have somebody who's been there and who understands what you're going through. (He grasps Faith by the shoulders and turns her around.) Look, I want to trust you.", "Faith: Chump. She has a vial of blood in her hand and splashes it on his chest. Out of the shadows steps the Mage. His skin is blue and his eyes shine yellow. He starts chanting a spell.", "Angel: Faith!", "Faith: I wanted to do this the old-fashioned way, but hey, your loss. Lucky I've got some tricks Buffy don't know yet.", "Angel: You don't have to do this.", "Faith: I know, but it's fun. Now relax, it'll be over soon. The Mage continues chanting. Lights flow from his hand and congeal around Angel's body. The lights fade and the Mage disappears into the shadows. Angel falls to the floor. He gets up and his face is vamped. Angel and Faith kiss.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "The kiss continues.", "Angel: Thanks, so much. (slaps Faith away) It's good to have the taste of a Slayer back in my mouth. It's like cigarettes, you know, just when I thought I'd quit. (kicks Faith in the side) No, don't get up. It's good to be back in Sunnydale. Nice climate, plenty to eat, no tortured humanity to hold me down. (Faith flips herself up.) But you know what bothers me? (Angel grabs her by the neck) You don't seem to be getting the big picture here, Faith. Now I don't know why you turned me, but I'm just glad you did. Faith breaks free and kicks him away. She pulls out a stake.", "Faith: I've got my reasons.", "Angel: Let me guess. You summoned back the true Angelus because you need a new boy toy. Doesn't work that way. They exchange blows. They stand, Angel holding Faith's stake arm up.", "Faith: You wanna be smart? You listen to me.", "Angel: Funny thing about vampires, Faith. We don't establish meaningful dialogue with Slayers.", "Faith: Not how Buffy tells it. Faith kicks him in the knee, driving him to the ground, and jumps astride him, threatening him with the stake.", "Angel: (chuckles) I should have known you'd like it on top.", "Faith: You want to listen or you want to die?", "Angel: As long as you're there, I mostly want you to wriggle. But I'm listening.", "Faith: Last time you got like this, Buffy kicked your ass all the way back to hell. You want to do better this time?", "Angel: Still listening. (his face shifts to human)", "Faith: Good boy. Now all you got to do is play nice and call truce and I'll hook you up with the real power in this town. Interested?", "Angel: Very.", "Faith: Then get ready to meet the new boss. They kiss.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library. Buffy, Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia (really bored) sit at the table. Wesley stands in front. Giles stands in the background.", "Wesley: Our enemy has us at a disadvantage. We seem to be consistently one step behind him. Now he has the Books of Ascenscion. We must take definitive action.", "Cordelia: You have the greatest voice. Have you ever thought about doing books on tape?", "Xander: Way to focus CC.", "Wesley: Yes, let's, uh, let's try to stay on track. We need everyone working together here. Where's Angel?", "Buffy: I don't know. I went to the mansion but he wasn't there.", "Wesley: And Faith?", "Buffy: She's missing too.", "Willow: Which means nothing. Two unconnected events.", "Buffy: What should we do?", "Giles: Buffy, I think you should try to retrieve the Books of Ascenscion. Check out the Mayor's office but be damned careful. Do not confront the Mayor. We don't know a thing about him.", "Buffy: I'll go home and stock up on weapons. Slip into something a little more break-and-enterish.", "Giles: Right. Willow, how far did you get with the Mayor's files?", "Cordelia: Excuse me, I believe Wesley is running this meeting.", "Wesley: It's, uh, it's quite alright. Willow?", "Willow: It's all bad news. By the time I got through the encryptions, the files were empty. Guess he saw me coming.", "Oz: What about the Hall of Records? Go to the source.", "Wesley: Good idea. There must be information on the Mayor there.", "Giles: Wesley, why don't you take the group and start looking?", "Wesley: Right.", "Cordelia: (pops up) I'm in Wesley's group.", "Giles: There is just the one group.", "Cordelia: Yes! And I am in it.", "Xander: Anyone mind if I skip the trip? I'm gonna cruise town, keep my ear to the ground, and I think five's a crowd.", "Cordelia: It really is.", "Oz: I'll drive.", "Willow: (proud of Oz) They liked your plan.", "Giles: Anyone finds anything, check in with me. (to Buffy) Be careful.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the Mayor's office. The Mayor sits behind his desk. Faith and Angel stand in front of it.", "Faith: So, can I keep him?", "Mayor: Let's just take things step by step for the moment. Now then, Angelus, may I call you Angel?", "Angel: Well, actually, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me Master.", "Mayor: (unfazed) Ah. You know, Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect. (chuckles) I am the one responsible for your new attitude. Angel picks up a letter opener, drags it across the desk surface. He starts prowling around the office.", "Angel: That's why I'm here.", "Mayor: No problems with the transition? No side effects?", "Angel: Had a soul, now I'm free.", "Mayor: That's terrific! Poetic too. Not that I read much poetry except for those little ones in the Reader's Digest. You know, some of those are quite catchy. (chuckles)", "Angel: Hey, I don't mean to rush things here but are you trying to get to some kind of point?", "Mayor: Kids today. Rush rush rush. Well the point, Angel, is you're a very powerful young man, good for Faith, and there just may be future for you in Sunnydale. I see you're admiring my letter opener.", "Angel: Well, actually, I was thinking of stabbing you through the heart with it. The Mayor turns his chair to face Angel and spreads his hands.", "Mayor: Please do. Angel throws the blade at the Mayor's chest. The Mayor brings his right hand in front of it and the blade embeds itself up to the handle though his palm.", "Mayor: Nice shot. The Mayor pulls the blade out of his hand and holds his palm up so they can see the wound heal itself in seconds.", "Mayor: You see, I'm what you might call impervious. Can't be killed, or harmed in any way. (wipes the blade with a tissue) And that's just a cornerstone in my plans for this great town of ours.", "Angel: Mmmm. Can't be killed, but you don't like germs?", "Mayor: Uck, eew, awful things, unsanitary. But my question is, now that Faith has brought you back, what are your intentions?", "Angel: Well, gee, sir, I thought I'd find that Slayer that's given you so much trouble and torture, maim, and kill her.", "Mayor: Fine! You know it's nice to see you're not one of those slacker types running around town today. Torture Buffy. Killing her's fine, just make it a slow one.", "Angel: My favorite kind.", "Mayor: Wonderful, wonderful. We don't want a replacement Slayer anytime soon. They can't all turn out like my girl Faith. (Faith smiles) Have fun.", "Faith: Let's do it.", "Mayor: Uh, try to have her home by eleven. Angel and Faith leave.", "Mayor: She's not a little girl anymore.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night. Xander is walking in a deserted street.", "Xander: I love when you talk, Wesley. I love when you sing, Wesley. Can you say the words jailbait, Wesley? Limey b*st*rd. (sees Angel and Faith approach) Hey guys! Man, where you been? You gotta find Buffy. She's going to her place and stocking up on ... Angel casually smacks Xander in the jaw without breaking stride. Xander falls limply to the ground. Faith doesn't even look at him.", "Angel: That guy just bugs me.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night. Angel knocks on Buffy's front door and Joyce opens it.", "Joyce: Faith. Angel.", "Angel: Hi, Joyce, nice to see you. Is Buffy home?", "Joyce: Upstairs. Please tell me it's not some vampire thing.", "Angel: The only vampire here is me, Joyce. Say, you change your hair?", "Joyce: (shrugs) Highlights.", "Angel: Nice.", "Cut to Buffy's room. She's loading a bag with weapons. Faith and Angel enter.", "Faith: Knock knock.", "Buffy: Where have you guys been?", "Angel: Been looking for you. Good thing we found you before we left.", "(kisses the top of Buffy's head)", "Faith: We got the books.", "Angel: They're at the mansion.", "Faith: We'd take 'em to Giles ourselves, but I think strength in numbers is the way to go. Come on.", "Angel: (Takes the weapons bag) Let me get those for you.", "Cut to the mansion. The trio enters.", "Buffy: Okay, let's get the books someplace safe. Where are they?", "Angel: Actually, there's been a slight change in plan, Buff.", "Buffy: Buff? You just called ... What's the matter with you?", "Faith stands back and watches the show with a little smile.", "Angel: Nothing. (his face has vamped) Matter of act, I haven't felt this good in a long time.", "Buffy: Angel?", "Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to hell.", "Buffy: No.", "Angel: Yeah, and I'm just wondering where do I start? Card? Fruit basket? Evisceration? (grasps Buffy's arms)", "Buffy: No.", "Angel: Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's still some good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you. If only you could reach me. Then again, we have reality. Buffy breaks away from him.", "Buffy: I will kill you before I let you touch me. Faith, we need to get out of here, now.", "Faith: Speak for yourself, B. Me, I like it here. Angel growls and Buffy turns to him. He knocks her out with a roundhouse blow.", "Angel: One thing I learned about Buffy, she's so cute when she's sleeping.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the Hall of Records. Wesley, Cordelia, and Willow sit at a table pouring over books.", "Cordelia: Hey! I know a way to make investigating the Mayor even more boring. On second thought, no, I don't. Oz brings a book to the table with an old picture of the Mayor.", "Oz: Hey, whoa.", "Willow: Whoa. Big hey whoa. Guys, check this out. Wow, like father, like son. They compare a shiny new photo of the Mayor with the old photo.", "Oz: How about like exact same guy, like exact same guy?", "Wesley: Mayor Wilkins is over one hundred years old. He's not human. Xander enters.", "Xander: I, uh, hate to spoil the mood, but this is so much worse than you think.", "Willow: Xander, what happened to you?", "Xander: You know how some people hate to say I told you so? Not me. I told you so. Angel's back in the really bad sense, and uh, I told you so.", "Wesley: Angelus has turned? Xander, this is terribly serious. Are you sure?", "Xander: Gee, let me think. Kind of hard to tell. Last thing I remember was his fist.", "Wesley: We must contact Giles immediately.", "Xander: Good thinking. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave Buffy alone. See how dead she gets.", "Cordelia: Slow down, Xander. This isn't Wesley's fault.", "Xander: Actually, it is. Faith was your responsibility. Guess who's Angel's new playmate?", "Willow: Faith and Angel? Together?", "Xander: Imagine the possibilities.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the mansion. Angel (human face) is chaining Buffy to the wall. Faith watches.", "Angel: Morning, sleepyhead. You know what I just can't believe? All of our time together and we never tried chains. Well, can't dwell on the past, especially with the future we have ahead.", "Faith: Bondage looks good on you, B. The outfit's all wrong, but, hey!", "Buffy: You don't know what you're doing.", "Faith: Really? Weird, because something about all this just feels so right. Maybe it's one of those unhappy childhood things. See, when I was a kid I used to beg my mom for a dog. Didn't matter what kind. I just wanted, you know, something to love. (kisses Angel) A dog's all I wanted. Well, that and toys. (lifts a blanket to reveal torture instruments) But mom was so busy, you know, enjoying the drinking and passing out parts of life, that I never really got what I wanted, until now.", "Buffy: Faith, listen to me very closely. Angel's a killer. When he's done with me, he'll turn on you.", "Angel: She's right. I probably will.", "Faith: Yeah? Hunh. Guess we'll just have to keep you around for a while then. Before we get started, I just want you to know, if you're a screamer, feel free.", "Buffy: Why, Faith? What's in it for you?", "Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy.", "Buffy: It's not my fault.", "Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?", "Angel: I know I didn't.", "Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be my town!", "Buffy: Faith, listen to me!", "Faith: Why? So you can impart some special Buffy wisdom, that it? Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it, you think you're better than me.", "Buffy: I am. Always have been.", "Faith: Um, maybe you didn't notice. Angel's with me.", "Buffy: And how did you get him, Faith? Magic? Cast some sort of spell? Cause in the real world, Angel would never touch you and we both know it. Faith backhands Buffy.", "Buffy: You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you, Faith. Loser.", "Faith: Uh huh. You're just trying to make me mad so I'll kill you. I'm too smart for that. Stick around.", "Buffy: For what? Your boss's lame Ascenscion. Like I couldn't stop it.", "Faith: You can't.", "Buffy: I will.", "Faith: Keep dreaming. No one can stop the Ascenscion. Mayor's got it wired, B. He built this town for demons to feed on and come graduation day, he's getting paid. And I'll be sitting at his right hand. Assuming he has hands after the transformation. I'm not too clear on that part. And all your little lame ass friends are going to be kibbles'n'bits. Think about that when your boyfriends cutting into you.", "Buffy: I never knew you had so much rage in you.", "Faith: What can I say? I'm the world's best actor.", "Angel: Second best. Faith turns to Angel in surprise.", "Buffy: Graduation day. You think we missed anything?", "Angel: I think we know everything she knows.", "Buffy: May I say something? (pulls her hands free) Psych!", "Faith: You played me. You played me! The Scooby gang bursts in the front door. Faith throws Angel into the gang's path. Faith and Buffy fight. The gang wards off Angelus with crosses and stakes. Buffy and Faith end in a standoff, each holding a knife to the other's throat.", "Faith: What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet. Faith grabs Buffy's neck and kisses her on the forehead. Faith runs away.", "Willow: Are you okay? Buffy looks at Angel. Angel avoids her gaze.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library. The Scooby gang and Wesley. Giles and the Mage stand face to face.", "Mage: The task is finished.", "Giles: Yes. Thank you for coming to me and for that rather effective light show you put on.", "Mage: This restores the balance between us, Rupert Giles. My debt to you is now repaid in full. Do not call upon me.", "Giles: I shan't. Peace with you.", "Mage: And with you. The Mage walks backward, fading into thin air.", "Willow: His debt to you is repaid? What did you do?", "Giles: I introduced him to his wife.", "Wesley: Well, I for one protest. You pitted Slayer against Slayer in a dangerous charade that could've gotten them both killed, without informing me! I'm telling the Council! (storms off)", "Giles: I think you should. (Wesley stops) We have a rogue Slayer on our hands. I can't think of anything more dangerous.", "Buffy: At least now we know.", "Giles: And we know a little bit more about the Ascenscion.", "Willow: Graduation day. There's a big scary un-fun. At least Angel's not bad, though. That's good, right?", "Xander: Yes, I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It's a good bruise.", "Buffy: (sad) He was only acting, Xander. It was just an act.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight. In Faith's new apartment.", "Mayor: Well, you win some, you lose some. From where I'm sitting, it's batting average that counts. So you lost some friends.", "Faith: I wouldn't exactly call them friends.", "Mayor: Well, what are you worried about? Chin up! You don't see me looking disappointed. Heck, no. You know why? Because I know you'll always have me, Faith. I'm the best, the most important friend you'll ever have. Besides, you know, once the Ascenscion starts, the 'in' crowd you're so concerned about? Whoo! They'll be lucky if there's enough left of them to fill a pothole. Promise. Still unhappy? Okey doke. I've got two words that are going to make all the pain go away. Miniature golf. (grins) Faith shakes her head and breaks into a big smile.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In Angel's mansion. Buffy enters.", "Angel: How you doing?", "Buffy: Been better.", "Angel: Not hard to believe. You were a real soldier last night, Buffy.", "Buffy: That's me. One of the troops.", "Angel: I know how hard it was for you.", "Buffy: I really doubt that.", "Angel: Is there anything I can do to make it better?", "Buffy: Look, I know you only did what I asked. And we, we got what we wanted.", "Angel: I never wanted it to go that far.", "Buffy: I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just, after ... I need a little bit of a break. Please. (walks away)", "Angel: You still my girl?", "Buffy: Always. (leaves) End credits." ]

[ "While the Mayor prepares for his Ascension, Faith goes around \"tying up\" loose ends, one of those being Angel. Faith shoots Angel with a poisoned arrow , and Buffy must battle Faith to save Angel's life, needing her Slayer blood as antidote." ]

[ "Daylight. In a hallway of Sunnydale High, students are picking up graduation caps and gowns. Cordelia and Xander are signing for their gowns.", "Cordelia: I can't believe this loser look. I lobbied so hard for the teal. No one ever listens to me. A lone fashionable wolf.", "Xander: I like the Maroon. Has more dignity.", "Cordelia: Dignity? You? In relation to clothes? I am awash in a sea of confusion.", "Xander: I just want to look respectable in this, considering I'm probably gonna die in it.", "Cordelia: Excuse me?", "Xander: I'm telling you. I woke up the other day with this feeling in my gut. I just know there's no way I'm getting out of this school alive.", "Cordelia: Wow, you've really mastered the power of positive giving-up.", "Xander: I've been lucky too many times. My number's coming up. And I was short! One more rotation and I'm shipping state-side, you know what I mean?", "Cordelia: Seldom if ever. They part. Cut to Willow and a guy standing at the foot of a stairwell, just after they sign each other's yearbooks. He leaves and Harmony walks down the stairs. All of Willow's lines are delivered with a compulsive smile.", "Willow: Bye! We'll keep in touch!", "Harmony: Willow, will you sign my yearbook?", "Willow: Yeah. You have to sign mine too.", "Harmony: You know, I really wish we woulda got to know each other better.", "Willow: Me too.", "Harmony: I mean, you're so smart. I always wanted to be like that.", "Willow: Thanks. You're so sweet.", "Harmony: I hope we won't lose touch.", "Willow: No, we'll hang out.", "Harmony: Bye!", "Willow: Bye! Harmony leaves as Buffy walks down the stairs.", "Willow: Oh, I'm gonna miss her.", "Buffy: Don't you hate her?", "Willow: (still smiling) Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years, the vacuous tramp. It's like a sickness, Buffy. I'm just missing everything. I miss P.E.", "Buffy: I think it's contagious. The whole senior class has turned into the Sixties, or what I would have imagined the Sixties would have been like without the war and the hairy armpits.", "Willow: You don't feel it?", "Buffy: No, I don't. I guess I'll miss stuff, but I just don't get the whole graduation thing. I mean you get a piece of paper and nothing changes. I don't even think I'm gonna go.", "Willow: (affectionately to soda machine) Old trusty soda machine. I push you for root beer, you give me coke. (frowning at Buffy) What do you mean, not go? Why not?", "Buffy: Ascension. Mayor becoming a demon. Snacking up on populace. I was planning on fighting him.", "Willow: You can't do both?", "Xander: (sits at their table) Both what?", "Buffy: Go to graduation and fight the Mayor.", "Xander: The Mayor? What, you guys didn't hear?", "Buffy: Hear what?", "Xander: Guess who our commencement speaker is?", "Willow: Siegfried?", "Xander: No.", "Willow: Roy?", "Xander: No.", "Willow: One of the tigers?", "Xander: Come out of the fantasy, Will.", "Buffy: I don't believe this.", "Xander: Lends credence to my whole \"I'm gonna die\" theorem, doesn't it?", "Buffy: The Mayor at graduation? A hundred helpless kids to feed on. Got any other surprises for us?", "Cut to the inside of an apartment. Eccentric taste. A knock sounds at the door and a man goes to the door. He's balding, wears glasses, and sports a bow tie.", "Professor: Just a moment!", "Faith: Hi, I'm looking for Professor Wirth.", "Professor: Oh, well, that's me, but I should ask you to come back during office hours. Students generally make an appointment", "Faith: Uh, I'm not from the college. I work for Mayor Wilkins. I'm Faith.", "Professor: Oh, well, come in, please. I was so surprised when he called. Didn't expect a politician to be interested in my research.", "Faith: He's a big fan, professor.", "Professor: Oh, Lester's fine.", "Faith: We alone here, Lester?", "Professor: Well, yes. Lifelong bachelor. I like my space.", "Faith: I hear that. (produces a knife) You want to turn and face the wall, Lester.", "Professor: What are you doing?", "Faith: I'll make it quick.", "Professor: Put that away. I'll scream.", "Faith: Who wouldn't?", "Professor: Please.", "Faith: Sorry, friend, boss wants you dead.", "Professor: Why?", "Faith: (stabs him) You know, I never thought to ask. Opening credits.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In Faith's apartment. The Mayor is tidying up. Faith is not in the room.", "Mayor: And everything went smoothly with Mr. Wirth?", "Faith: Not if you're Mr. Wirth.", "Mayor: (giggles) Well, that's swell. You know how I feel about loose ends. And the big day is so close, you can smell the excitement in the air. Say, are you ever coming out of there?", "Faith: I don't know.", "Mayor: Aw, come on. Faith enters, in a pink/white dress, barefoot.", "Mayor: Wow, aren't you a vision?", "Faith: I feel I look stupid in this.", "Mayor: You look lovely. Perfect for the Ascension. Any boys that manage to survive will be lining up to ask you out.", "Faith: It just isn't me, though.", "Mayor: Not you? Let me tell you something. Nobody knows what you are. Not even you, little Miss Seen-it-all. The Ascension isn't just my day. It's yours too. Your day to blossom, to show the world what a powerful girl you are. I think of what you've done, what I know you will do (caresses her face) no father could be prouder.", "Faith: I hope I don't let you down.", "Mayor: Impossible. Now come on, change back into your street clothes. I'll buy you an icee. They share a smile.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight outside Sunnydale High. Willow parks her bike. Percy, the jock from Dopplegangland, greets her.", "Percy: Hey, Rosenberg!", "Willow: Hey, Percy.", "Percy: Check it out, history final.", "Willow: B-minus, that's great.", "Percy: I'm a scholar. I'm like a scholar.", "Willow: Congratulations.", "Percy: Hey, listen. Thank you. I mean, for helping me. Being so patient. And also, for not kicking my ass like you did in the Bronze.", "Willow: You know, Percy, that was actually... for your own good.", "Percy: I know, I know.", "Oz: (arrives) Hey.", "Willow: Hey. (to Percy) History's important, you know.", "Percy: No, I totally get that now. And I got the grades, I'm graduating tomorrow, can forget all this crap. (cheerfully, leaves)", "Oz: On the bright side, after graduation, he may not have the chance to forget it all.", "Willow: (unhappy) Uh-huh.", "Oz: I was trying to keep things light.", "Willow: But things aren't light. I mean, it's bad enough we have to fight the Mayor. I don't want him eating Percy and the whole class. We have to find a spell or something to stop the Ascension.", "Oz: Then we will.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In a classroom. Class is in session. Xander tries to sneak in.", "Teacher: Thank you for joining us, Mr. Harris. Xander gives him a double thumbs-up.", "Teacher: Look, I realize that you've all finished your finals and you're ready to move on. But you haven't graduated yet. This is still a class and everyone will participate. Mr. Harris, would you care to begin.", "Xander: Ummm... E.", "Teacher: No. There's no E. Camera turns so that we can see that the chalkboard has the garrett of a game of Hangman drawn. The teacher draws in the head.", "Teacher: They always go the the E. Next! Steven. Anya is sitting directly to Xander's right.", "Anya: Hi.", "Xander: Hey.", "Anya: So, I was wondering, maybe if you were free this weekend, maybe we could do some entertaining thing.", "Xander: Would that be along the lines of you telling me about all the men you destroyed back in your demon days? Cause pencil me in.", "Anya: Well, we could do something else you like. We could watch sports of some kind.", "Xander: Uh, I don't know.", "Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.", "Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action move, they eat of the beef, and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?", "Anya: I'm trying, okay? You don't need to take my head off.", "Xander: I'm sorry. Look, I don't even know if I'm going to make it to the next weekend. I'll tell you what, I survive the Ascension and maybe you and I can do some sports related ... What? Anya has a horrified look on her face.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Giles and Wesley are fencing. Buffy stands to the side, holding up a newspaper headline: PROFESSOR FOUND MURDERED", "Buffy: Faith.", "Giles: You sure?", "Buffy: One of her pieces. I recognize the brush work. Giles takes the paper and holds it in one hand, reading while parrying Wesley's light attacks.", "Giles: Brutally stabbed. Mr. Wirth, visiting professor of geology. There's nothing in here that bellows motive.", "Willow: Random killing, perhaps? Fit of rage? Everybody does seem to be going a bit mad, lately. Faith has something of a head start.", "Buffy: Doesn't read. I think it's homework. Giles stops sparring.", "Giles: The Mayor wanted the good professor out of the way.", "Buffy: Which leads to the question, how come? I'm gonna destroy the entire city, but I take the time to kill harmless Lester first?", "Giles: Tying up loose ends? Lester had something or knew something.", "Buffy: Then I wanna know too. The Mayor's trying to hide. I say we go seek.", "Wesley: Ah. By attempting to keep a valuable clue from us, the Mayor may have inadvertently led us right to it. (with a sword flourish)", "Buffy: What page are you on, Wes, cause we already got there.", "Wesley: Yes, well. You will go tonight. Look over his apartment. Anything of note, report back here.", "Buffy: I just love it when you take charge, you man, you.", "Wesley: Uh, we... was that a yes? I have trouble keeping track.", "Buffy: I'll go.", "Giles: Be careful. If Faith should show up...", "Buffy: I don't think she'll show. Been there, killed that. She's not much for follow-up.", "Giles: Nonetheless, keep watch. Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.", "Buffy: Cause I'm not crazy or cause I don't kill people?", "Giles: Both, actually.", "Buffy: I hear you. I can't kill her, fun as it may sound. I can make her cry uncle, though, and I mean to.", "Wesley: Don't let your feelings about Faith interfere with your work.", "Buffy: Stopping Faith is my work. Take a beat to love the synergy.", "Willow: Faith is a footnote. Our priority is stopping the Ascension. Xander enters, pulling Anya by her arm.", "Xander: Easier said than done, (malarkey? monkey?) boy.", "Wesley: Xander, if you don't have something constructive to add?", "Xander: You guys want to know about the Ascension? Well meet the only living person who's ever been to one.", "Cut to an overhead shot. Same group gathered around the library table.", "Anya: About eight hundred years ago in the Kastka Vallies above the Urals, there was a sorcerer there who achieved Ascension. Became the embodiment of the demon Lo-Hash. I was there cursing a shepherd who had been unfaithful. (merrily) His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie with...", "Buffy: Can we get back to the chase?", "Anya: Sorry. Lo-Hash was ... It-it decimated the village within hours. Maybe three people got out. I've seen some horrible things in my time. I've been the cause of most of them, actually, but this...", "Wesley: Ahem, I'm sorry, but Lo-Hash was a four-winged soul killer, am I right? (Giles nods.) I was given to understand that they're not that fierce. Of all the demons that we've faced...", "Anya: You've never seen a demon.", "Buffy: (raises her hand) Uh, excuse me? Kind of professionally, four years running.", "Anya: All the demons that walk the earth are tainted, are human hybrids like vampires. The Ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different.", "Giles: Different?", "Buffy: How?", "Anya: Well, for one thing, they're bigger.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight, outside. Chairs are being set set up in rows for the commencement address. Snyder is showing the Mayor the arrangements.", "Snyder: Kids are here. Parents off to the side there. We'll go up, they'll play the processional, and they you'll give the address.", "Mayor: It all looks wonderful.", "Snyder: As long as nobody makes any trouble.", "Mayor:: Oh, stop worrying. You just make sure the kids show up. Anybody who doesn't feel like coming to graduation, well, they'll just have to live without a diploma.", "Snyder: They'll be here, sir.", "Mayor: Call me Richard. You've done a great job here. I know things are, well, different here in Sunnydale. We've both seen all sorts of things. What's important is that we keep it under control, and that's what you've done.", "Snyder: I believe in order.", "Mayor: Sunnydale owes you a debt. It will be repaid. Yessir, we'll mark that invoice paid in full. The Mayor walks away. Snyder watches him with a worried expression.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library. Anya et al. are continuing their discussion. Willow and Oz enter.", "Anya: It doesn't sound like Lo-Hash. The rituals are all different.", "Giles: I wish that was a relief.", "Oz: What's going on?", "Willow: How come evil girl's in the mix?", "Giles: Anya witnessed an Ascension.", "Willow: Oh, okay then.", "Buffy: What about the spiders? The Mayor had a box of spiders that he had to eat. The Box of... I want to say Grav-Locks?", "Giles: Gavrock.", "Anya: It doesn't ring a bell.", "Buffy: Well, there must be something that you can remember that would be helpful. The Mayor enters, alone. The group pulls back, Willow pulling Oz back. Buffy slips the newspaper (PROFESSOR FOUND MURDERED) out of sight.", "Mayor: So, this is the inner sanctum. Faith tells me this is where you folks like to hang out, concoct your little schemes. I tell you, it's just nice to see that some young people are still interested in reading in this modern era. So, what are kids reading nowadays? The Mayor walks to the table and picks up a book. Giles stands his ground and doesn't flinch at the proximity.", "Mayor: \"The beast will walk upon the earth and darkness will follow. The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction.\" Aw, that's kind of sweet. Different races coming together.", "Buffy: You never get even a little tired of hearing yourself speak, do you?", "Mayor: (chuckles, to Giles) That's one spunky little girl you've raised. I'm gonna eat her. Giles grabs Wesley's sword from the table and thrusts it through the Mayor's chest. The Mayor staggers back but regains his balance.", "Mayor: Whoa! Well now, that was a little thoughtless. (pulls the sword out of his chest) Violent outbursts like that, in front of the children? You know, Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave.", "Buffy: Get out. The Mayor takes a handkerchief and slowly wipes the blood from the sword.", "Mayor: I smell fear. That's smart. Some of your deaths will be quick, if that's worth anything. Well, see you all at graduation. (tosses the sword back to Giles) You don't want to miss my commencement address. It's going to be one heck of a speech.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In a hallway, not really crowded, but with plenty of students. Xander runs after Anya.", "Xander: Anya, wait! Where you going?", "Anya: Anywhere. If there's a lunar shuttle going up anytime soon, I'm on it.", "Xander: We need you here. You might be able to help.", "Anya: Or I might be able to live. You can't stop the Ascension, Xander. You were right the first time. The only thing any sane person can do now is run. (she leaves) Anya leaves, passing Cordelia.", "Cordelia: What's her saga?", "Xander: She's freaking.", "Cordelia: About what?", "Xander: The Mayor is going to kill us all during graduation.", "Cordelia: Oh. Are you going to go to fifth period?", "Xander: I'm thinking I might skip it.", "Cordelia: Me too.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Daylight. Inside the Summers house. Buffy is packing.", "Joyce: Buffy, I'm home. Do you wanna go to, uh, ...? What are you doing? You're running away again? And you're taking my clothes.", "Buffy: Mom, I need you to leave town. Tonight.", "Joyce: Buffy, I'd miss your graduation.", "Buffy: Yeah, that's sort of the idea.", "Joyce: There's no way. I wouldn't dream...", "Buffy: Mom, graduation is a pointless ceremony where you sit around and listen to a bunch of boring speeches until someone hands you a piece of paper that says you graduated which you already know and maroon does nothing for my complection, so don't argue, okay?", "Joyce: (sarcastic) What, is some terrible demon going to attack the school. (Buffy glares, keeps packing) Oh, I see. Oh, you know, Buffy, looking back on everything that's happened, maybe I should have sent you to a different school.", "Buffy: Just promise me that you'll be far away from here.", "Joyce: I'm not leaving you to face an awful monster. If I go anywhere, you're going with me.", "Buffy: You know that I can't.", "Joyce: Well then I can't either.", "Buffy: Mom, I know that sometimes you wish I were different.", "Joyce: Buffy, no.", "Buffy: I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete, remotely normal. I'm not. But there is something I do that I can do better than anybody else in the world. I'm gonna fight this thing, but I can't do it and worry about you.", "Joyce: Buffy, you just can't ...", "Buffy: You stay, you'll get me killed. You'll have to trust me on this. Can you do that?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In Willow's room. Amy-rat is nibbling something in her cage. Oz is typing on the computer. Willow is laying on the bed, reading.", "Willow: Oh, this is so frustrating.", "Oz: Nothing useful?", "Willow: No, it's great. If we want to make ferns invisible, or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here.", "Oz: Our lives are different than other peoples'.", "Willow: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not going to find a spell to stop the Ascension. I'm no witch. I can't even change poor Amy back to a person.", "Oz: But you got the swinging Habitrail going. I think Amy is in a good place emotionally.", "Willow: Oz.", "Oz: What?", "Willow: Could you just pretend to care about what's happening? Please?", "Oz: You think I don't care?", "Willow: I think we could be dead in two days time and you're being ironic detachment guy.", "Oz: Would it help if I panic?", "Willow: (babbling) Yes, it would be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything's really scary now, you know, and I don't know what's gonna happen. And there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we're probably just gonna die and I would like to feel that maybe you would ... Oz leans forward and kisses her, slowly.", "Willow: What are you doing?", "Oz: Panicking. More kissing.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In Professor Wirth's apartment. Buffy is collecting papers and books and putting them in a file box. Angel appears at the front door (it's open) and stumbles over the door jamb.", "Angel: Ow.", "Buffy: Stealthy.", "Angel: Not my best entrance. I think they were mopping in the halls.", "Buffy: What are you doing here?", "Angel: I checked in with Giles. He asked me to back you up.", "Buffy: He's afraid I'll run into Faith.", "Angel: And you're not?", "Buffy: It's gonna happen sooner or later.", "Angel: What's that?", "Buffy: A report. Excavation of some old lava bed. Guy was a volcano-ologist or something.", "Angel: Anything in there that connects him to the Mayor?", "Buffy: I looked through it, but the only thing I understood were the commas. Gonna bring it to Giles, see if he can do better. (picks up the file box)", "Angel: Let me give you a hand. Angel takes the box. They leave the apartment. Cut to outside as they leave the building.", "Buffy: You know what? Thank you, but I can take it from here.", "Angel: It's alright. I'll walk you there.", "Buffy: Look, I don't need an escort. I'm a big girl. Superpowers, remember? I don't need you crowding me.", "Angel: I didn't think I was.", "Buffy: No, of course you don't. You just show up at the prom and then you disappear into the ozone. For all I know, you left town.", "Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?", "Buffy: Duh. Yes.", "Angel: Which?", "Buffy: What?", "Angel: I don't get you.", "Buffy: No, you don't, not anymore.", "Angel: Are you just making this harder to make this easier on yourself?", "Buffy: Could we stop with the brain-teasers? I just wish it was over, done.", "Angel: It's not that simple. I mean, once the Mayor ...", "Buffy: I know, world in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.", "Angel: I'll get out of your face. He drops the box at her feet and turns away.", "Buffy: Isn't it even a little hard for you?", "Angel: How can you ask me that? Just because I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel...", "Buffy: It's nice to know what you thing of me!", "Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack?", "Buffy: I just can't do this anymore. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to move on. The sound of an arrow striking. The arrow was fired above and behind Angel, and has passed through his back so the point sticks out the front of his jacket. He falls and Buffy catches him.", "Buffy: Angel! Behind a neon sign atop a nearby building, Faith and a vampire look down at the couple.", "Vampire: Missed the heart.", "Faith: Meant to.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library. Angel sits in a chair. Giles cuts the arrow shaft where it enters Angel's back.", "Giles: There.", "Buffy: Okay, ready? (grasps the arrow's point)", "Angel: Yeah.", "Buffy: On three. One. (pulls the arrow out)", "Angel: I knew you were going to do that.", "Giles: Not too much blood here.", "Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be alright.", "Buffy: (while swabbing the exit wound) I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.", "Giles: You sure it was her?", "Buffy: Well, I've narrowed down my list of one suspect. Buffy and Giles continue bandaging Angel. Wesley is sitting at the table, reading.", "Wesley: Fascinating.", "Giles: What?", "Wesley: It seems our Mr. Wirth headed an expedition in Hawaii, digging in old lava beds near a dormant volcano.", "Buffy: I'm not fascinated yet.", "Wesley: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.", "Giles: A carcass?", "Wesley: A very large one. Mr. Wirth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.", "Angel: A demon?", "Giles: Yes, that would be something that the Mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, it means that, well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In his demon form, he can be killed.", "Buffy: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.", "Angel: Well, it's a start, anyway.", "Buffy: Okay, you've been a real klutz today. You need ...", "Angel: Damn. Angel falls to the floor, unconscious. Cut to Giles sniffing the arrow's point.", "Giles: We'll have to run some tests.", "Angel: (unintelligible?)", "Buffy: You're burning up.", "Angel: It's poison. I can feel it.", "Giles: Call the others. Get them here. We need to move him to the safety of his own bed before the sun comes up.", "Buffy: Will you be able to find out what this is?", "Wesley: The Council has all the known toxins on file, mystical or otherwise. I'll contact them immediately.", "Buffy: Thanks. (to Angel) You're going to be okay.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Willow's bedroom. Clothes are scattered on the floor and draped over Amy-rat's cage. Willow and Oz cuddle in the bed. Oz strokes Willow's hair.", "Willow: I feel different, you know. I-I guess that makes sense. Do you feel different. Oh, no, you've already, probably, no big change for you. It was nice. Was it nice? Should this be a quiet moment?", "Oz: I know exactly what you mean.", "Willow: Which part?", "Oz: Everything from 'it's different'. They kiss. The phone rings, Willow answers.", "Willow: Hello. (listens, hangs up) We've gotta go.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the Mayor's office. He places the Box of Gavrock on his desk as Faith enters.", "Faith: He's dropped, boss.", "Mayor: Applause, applause.", "Faith: Right in the back. He pitches over and Buffy's freaking, looking around, all panicked. It's a good time.", "Mayor: Well, that should keep her occupied for a spell.", "Faith: What next?", "Mayor: The Ritual of Gavrock. I have to ingest several of the inhabitants of this box.", "Faith: Ingest?", "Mayor: Eat.", "Faith: You're wicked gross.", "Mayor: (chuckles) Well, you don't have to watch. Just, you know, go home, take it easy. It's a big day tomorrow.", "Faith: You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.", "Mayor: (chuckles) You little firecracker.", "Faith: My mom used to call me that when I was little. I was always running around. She falls silent. The Mayor observes her with a look of concern.", "Faith: Tomorrow, at the Ascension and all that, am I going to get to fight?", "Mayor: If everything goes smoothly, you won't have to. But how often do things go smoothly?", "Faith: So you'll still need me in there.", "Mayor: Always.", "Faith: When I was a kid, a couple of miles outside of Boston there was this quarry. And all the kids used to swim there and jump off the rocks. And there was this one rock like forty feet up. I was the only one that would jump off it. All the older kids were too scared.", "Mayor: Not you though.", "Faith: Naah. I could do it easy.", "Mayor: Get some rest.", "Faith: Good luck with your spiders there.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Oz, Willow, and Xander are gathered in a Sunnydale High chemistry lab. Oz is peering through a microscope. Willow tears a page out of a notebook and hands it to Xander.", "Willow: They should have all this at the magic shop. I can run a trace analysis, see if it's a mystical poison.", "Xander: I'm a little short on cash.", "Willow: Just tell them it's for me.", "Xander: Right.", "Cut to Xander walking in a darkened school hallway. Anya meets him.", "Anya: Xander.", "Xander: What are you doing here? I thought you'd be in Aruba by now.", "Anya: Hey, I'm packed. My car's right outside. I-I just, um, I-I had to, uh...", "Xander: What?", "Anya: You could come with me.", "Xander: Come with you? You mean that?", "Anya: Why not? We could just get in the car and drive. No one would miss us. We could take turns driving. Keep each other awake. You're going to die if you stay here.", "Xander: I guess I might.", "Anya: When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit.", "Xander: Welcome to the world of romance.", "Anya: It's horrible. No wonder I used to get so much work.", "Xander: Well, I'm sorry I give you barfy feelings.", "Anya: Come with me.", "Xander: I can't.", "Anya: Why not?", "Xander: I got friends on the line.", "Anya: So?", "Xander: That humanity thing's still a work in progress, isn't it?", "Anya: Are you really going to be that much help to them? I mean, you'll probably just get in the way.", "Xander: Your stock is plummeting here, sweetheart.", "Anya: Fine! You know what? I hope you die. Xander walks past her.", "Anya: Aren't we gonna kiss?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Inside Angel's mansion. Angel lies in bed, sweating. Buffy holds his hand, soothes him with a cool, wet rag.", "Buffy: It'll be okay. You'll be okay. She hears a door opening and goes to the living room. Wesley enters, looking upset.", "Giles: Did you reach the council?", "Wesley: Yes. They, they couldn't help.", "Buffy: Couldn't?", "Wesley: Wouldn't. It's not Council policy to cure vampires.", "Giles: Did you explain that these were special circumstances?", "Wesley: Not under any circumstances, and yes, I did try to convince them.", "Buffy: Try again.", "Wesley: Buffy, they're very firm. We're talking about laws that have existed longer than civilization.", "Buffy: I'm talking about watching my lover die. I don't have a clue what you're talking about and I don't care.", "Giles: Buffy, we'll find a cure.", "Wesley: The Council's orders are to concentrate on ...", "Buffy: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you, not from them.", "Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.", "Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.", "Wesley: Giles, talk to her.", "Giles: (while walking to Buffy's side) I've nothing to say right now.", "Buffy: Wesley, go back to your Council and tell them, until the next Slayer comes along, they can close up shop. I'm not working for them anymore.", "Wesley: Don't you see what's happening? Faith poisoned Angel to distract you, to keep you out of the Mayor's way, and it's working. You need a strategy.", "Buffy: I have a strategy. You're not in it.", "Wesley: This is mutiny.", "Buffy: (long pause) I like to think of it as graduation. Giles, I can't stay here any longer. I'm gonna see if I can help the others.", "Giles: Of course.", "Buffy: You'll watch him?", "Giles: I'll call if there's any change.", "Wesley: Buffy, you don't know what you're doing.", "Buffy: Get a job. (marches off)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the chemistry lab: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Oz.", "Willow: Finding the poison wasn't that hard. It's a mystical compound. The latin name translates roughly to Killer of the Dead. Used on vampires.", "Buffy: And the cure?", "Willow: There aren't a lot of instances of it being cured.", "Buffy: But there are some?", "Willow: One or two. Pretty vague accounts. How is he?", "Oz: (reading) Hold it.", "Xander: You got something?", "Oz: I'm not sure.Buffy: Be sure.", "Oz: Okay. Killer of the Dead. That's our boy, and here's a vamp that walked away from it.", "Willow: Does it talk about the cure?", "Oz: Damn.", "Buffy: Nothing?", "Oz: No, it's in here, but...", "Willow: (reading over his shoulder) Wait, completely reversed the effects. Oh.", "Buffy: What?", "Xander: Come on guys, the suspense is killing Angel.", "Oz: The only way to cure this thing is to drain the blood of a Slayer.", "Buffy: (long pause) Good.", "Xander: Good? What did I miss?", "Buffy: No, it's perfect. Angel needs to drain a Slayer, then I'll bring him one.", "Willow: Buffy, if Angel drains Faith's blood, it'll kill her.", "Buffy: Not if she's already dead.", "Fade to commercial.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Willow and Oz at a computer terminal.", "Oz: Leasing agreement. It should be recent. It won't be in her name but if the Mayor's putting her up, it might be in his.", "Willow: Maybe he's charging it to the city?", "Oz: Right, cross-reference Realty with Municipal Funds.", "Willow: You wanna drive? (smiles)", "Oz: Sorry. Oz caresses her hair and Willow loses her typing rhythm for a moment.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the library, Buffy and Xander are heading to the book cage.", "Buffy: Someone should take over for Giles after a while. Watch Angel.", "Xander: I don't mean to play devil's advocate here, but are you sure you're up to this?", "Buffy: It's time.", "Xander: We're talking to the death.", "Buffy: I can't play kid games anymore. This is how she wants it.", "Xander: I just don't want to lose you.", "Buffy: I won't get hurt. (reaches into a weapons cabinet)", "Xander: That's not what I mean.", "Buffy: Just get me an address. They stare at each other for a moment, then Xander leaves. Buffy is holding Faith's fancy knife.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Quick fades between scenes: Faith working out on a punching bag. Buffy washing her face and staring at herself in a mirror. Angel's delirium. Faith ending her workout. Buffy walking away from the mirror. Willow at her computer terminal.", "Willow: I got it.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In Faith's apartment. She reads a comic book while music blares.", "Cut to show Buffy behind her, across the room. Buffy turns off the stereo.", "Buffy: Thought I'd stop by.", "Faith: Is he dead yet?", "Buffy: He's not gonna die. It was a good try, though. Your plan?", "Faith: Uh-huh. The Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful.", "Buffy: There's a cure.", "Faith: Damn. What is it?", "Buffy: Your blood. As justice goes, it's not un-poetic, don't you think?", "Faith: Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not going to take me alive.", "Buffy: Not a problem.", "Faith: Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes.", "Buffy: You told me I was just like you. That I was holding it in. They approach until they're standing face to face.", "Faith: Ready to cut loose?", "Buffy: Try me.", "Faith: Okay then. Give us a kiss. Buffy punches her in the jaw. They fight for a while.", "Faith: Not getting tired are you? I'm just startihg to feel it. They fight some more. They fall together through a window, landing on a terrace. While Faith is recovering from the fall, Buffy handcuffs Faith's right wrist to Buffy's right wrist. The fight continues.", "Buffy: Stick around.", "Cut to Angel's bed. Oz and Willow watch him.", "Angel: Buffy:", "Cut to the library.", "Giles: Right. Right. (heads for a bookshelf)", "Xander: Something about the demon?", "Giles: The local villagers near the volcano site made reference to the legend of Ollokai. Might be a bastardization of Olvikan.", "Xander: Who's Olvikan?", "Giles: I know it's a demon, a very old one. Might have a picture.", "Xander: Boy, it's a good thing no one ever wanted to check any of these books out, hunh?", "Giles: Yes, very convenient. (flipping pages)", "Xander: Come on Olvikan. Hey. Giles stops flipping pages. Xander unfolds a page, twice (like a centerfold).", "Xander: We're going to need a bigger boat.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "In the Mayor's office. On of the Gavrok bugs is pinned, unmoving, to his desk with a knife. The camera pans up to show two of the legs sticking out of the Mayor's mouth. He chews and swallows. A vampire looks on uncertainly.", "Mayor: Mmm. My god, what a feeling. The power of these creatures. It suffuses my being. I can feel the changes begin. My organs are shifting, changing, making ready for the Ascension. Plus these babies are high in fiber. And what's the fun in becoming an immortal demon if you're not regular, am I right? A second vampire bursts into the room.", "Mayor: We don't knock during dark rituals?", "Vampire #2: Sir, there may be trouble. At Faith's.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "On the terrace at Faith's building, the fight continues.", "Buffy: What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die? Faith spins Buffy so she can get the leverage to use her legs and manages to snap the handcuff chain. They face off. Faith holds a length of pipe. Buffy pulls out Faith's knife.", "Faith: That's mine.", "Buffy: You're about to get it back. They exchange blows, Faith dodging the knife. They move to the edge of the terrace and Faith holds Buffy at the edge.", "Faith: Man, I'm going to miss this. Buffy breaks Faith's grip and plunges the knife into Faith's abdomen. Both of them looked stunned for a moment.", "Faith: (weakly, but smiling) You did it. Faith throws Buffy away from her.", "Faith: You killed me. Faith climbs onto the low wall at the edge of the terrace and looks down.", "Faith: Still won't help your boy,though. Shoulda been there, B, quite a ride. Faith falls backward off the wall and lands in the bed of a moving truck. Buffy scrambles to the wall and sees Faiths body, unmoving, ride away.", "End credits: \"To Be Continued\"" ]

[ "Buffy forces Angel to feed on her to save his life and he must rush her to the hospital to save hers. The Mayor, as a guest speaker at Sunnydale, Ascends and becomes the demon Olvikan. Meanwhile, Faith remains in a coma, from which the doctors expect her never to wake." ]

[ "[PREVIOUSLY_ON]", "Oz is kissing Willow. Willow: \"What are you doing?\" Oz: \"Panicking.\" Oz and Willow in bed after Oz is done panicking. In the library the Mayor throws the rapier back to Giles, who catches it. Mayor: \"See you at the Graduation.\" Buffy and Angel in the sewers. Buffy: \"I want my life to be with you.\" Angel: \"I don't.\" Buffy: \"I can't believe you're breaking up with me.\" On the street in front of the Professor's place Angel gets shot and collapses. In the library Buffy pulls out the arrow, Giles smells it. Voice over by Angel: \"It's poison. I can feel it.\" Angel collapses on the floor. Oz looking up from a book: \"The only way to cure this thing is to drain the blood of a Slayer.\" Buffy and Faith fighting in her apartment. Buffy voice over: \"If Angel needs to drain the blood of a Slayer then I'll bring him one.\" Buffy and Faith fall through the window. Buffy stabs Faith. Faith voice over: \"You killed me.\" Faith falls and lands on the bed of a truck driving by. Buffy lays down the knife looking shocked then walks over to a ladder and climbs down the outside of the building. Pan over and up to the Mayor looking out through the broken window. The Mayor turns around as a vampire comes up behind him and says: \"There is no one here, Sir.\"", "Mayor: \"No. No, she took the fight outside. My Faith doesn't like to be cooped up.\" Walks over to the vampire. \"We have to find them. Put everyone on it. Do it now.\" Turns away from the vampire.", "Vampire: \"But Sir, the ascension...\" Mayor spins back around and screams at the vampire: \"Find them!\" The vampire leaves. The Mayor starts pacing around, clearly very worried, talking to himself: \"Faith's a good girl. She can take anything they'll throw at her. She's going to be all right. She'll be all right. She'll be all right.\" Part 2", "Library: Giles comes out of his office massaging his right shoulder, while Xander walks in carrying a Styrofoam cup.", "Xander: \"Any word from Buffy?\" Giles sits down at the table: \"Not yet.\"", "Xander: \"Here is your cup of coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid\" Sits down across form Giles.", "Giles: \"Thank you.\" Takes a sip. \"Horrible.\" Takes another sip.", "Xander: \"Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea anyway?\"", "Giles: \"Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense.\"", "Xander: \"Okay. But you are destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.\" Grins.", "Giles puts down his cup: \"Look through the, ah... Kepler (?) volumes.\" Xander picks up a book. \"Any reference to the demon Olvukan.\" Xander opens the book. \"Powers, weaknesses, hat size, anything. There's got to be something.\"", "Xander: \"Still batting zero?\" Giles looks at him. \"But I mean, ah... in cricket?\" Cordelia walks into the library looking upset. Xander looks up from flipping pages: \"Cordy! What's up?\"", "Cordelia: \"I demand an explanation.\"", "Xander: \"For what?\"", "Cordelia: \"Wesley.\"", "Xander: \"Uh - inbreeding?\"", "Cordelia: \"So very funny. Any minute I am sure to laugh. I just got off the phone with him. He could hardly speak he was so upset. He said there was something about a fight? And he is leaving the country.\"", "Giles: \"Should I assay remorse?\"", "Cordelia: \"Just tell me what's going on.\"", "Giles: \"Buffy has quit the council. She'll not be working with Wesley from now on.\"", "Cordelia puzzled: \"But he is her Watcher.\"", "Giles: \"Buffy no longer needs a Watcher.\"", "Cordelia: \"Well, does he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired, and you still hang around like a big loser. Why can't he?\"", "Xander: \"Cordelia. We are trying to stop a massacre here. Want to give us a hand?\" Cordelia hesitates a moment then walks over to a chair taking off her jacket. \"Sure. - This is just *such* a Buffy thing to do.\" Sits down. \"She is *always* thinking of herself.\"", "Cut to the mansion. Angel is laying in bed. The arrow wound looks red and inflamed. He is twisting restlessly, clearly in pain, and moaning softly. Willow dabs at his sweaty forehead with a wet rag. Angel opens his eyes.", "Willow: \"You're awake.\"", "Angel reaches for her hand: \"You've been watching over me?\" Willow nods. Angel takes her hand and starts kissing it. He lays his other hand on Willows right arm. Willow taken aback and slightly worried: \"Well, - we've been taking turns.\"", "Angel: \"I thought... - I thought I'd never see you again\" Willow looks at him surprised and confused. Angel shakes his head \"I can't leave you. I was wrong. I need you.\" Willow pulls her hand out of his: \"Oh!\" she pats his hand \"You mean you need Buffy!\" Angel lifts his head squinting his eyes at her. \"Willow?'", "Willow relieved: \"Yes, - right!\" She points at herself smiling \"Willow!\"", "Angel trying to sit up: \"Where is she?\" Willow pushes him back down worried: \"She'll be back soon.\" Angel sinks back and closes his eyes. Willow gets up and walks out into the main room where Oz is waiting for her.", "Oz: \"Any change?\"", "Willow: \"He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy.\"", "Oz: \"You too, huh?\"", "Willow: \"I hope she gets here soon. She better if... \"", "Oz sighs: \"Yeah.\"", "Willow: \"I feel so... I feel so guilty.\"", "Oz: \"Guilty?\"", "Willow: \"Well, things are so terrible, and things are coming apart, - but in some ways, this is the best night of my life.\" Oz blinks and reaches for her hand with a half smile: \"Us.\" Willow smiles, nods and moves closer to him: \"Us.\" They kiss. The door opens, Buffy walks in slowly, staring at the ground. Willow and Oz break apart guiltily.", "Willow: \"I just checked on him, just now. We're watching.\" Buffy walks up to then, looking unhappy. The left corner of her bottom lip is busted.", "Oz: \"Did you find Faith?\" Buffy just looks at them saying nothing.", "Willow: \"You didn't... She's not here?\"", "Buffy shakes her head slightly: \"How is he?\"", "Oz: \"He comes in and out. I think the - pain is - less. Now.\"", "Buffy frowns slightly: \"Would you guys... - I'd like to be alone with him.\" Oz and Willow look at each other. Oz nods: \"Of course.\" As they walk past Buffy Willow turns to her and says: \"We'll try to find another cure.\" Buffy quietly as they leave the house: \"Thanks.\"", "Cut to Angel lying on his bed. Buffy sits down and takes his hand.", "Angel: \"Buffy.\" Buffy lays her right hand against the side of his face \"Is that you?\" Buffy gives him a slight smile: \"It's me.\" Angel tries to smile in return: \"I didn't want to go, without seeing you.\" Buffy puts a finger on his lips to stop him from talking.", "Buffy: \"Angel, I can cure you.\"", "Angel: \"It's okay. - I'm ready.\"", "Buffy: \"Angel listen to me.\" Takes a hold of his shoulders. \"Sit up.\" Angel scoots up a little higher, but he is weak and moving clearly hurts a great deal.", "Buffy: \"You're gonna live. You have to live.\"", "Angel frowns: \"What way?\"", "Buffy: \"Drink...\" Angel frowns at her. Buffy takes off her jacket, a determined expression on her face. \"Drink me.\" Angel stares at her in shock, he shakes his head rejecting the idea: \"No.\"", "Buffy: \"It's the only way.\" Angel keeps shaking his head and forces himself up out of the bed, pushing Buffy aside: \"No. - Get away.\" Buffy takes a hold of his right arm as he stands up, looking up at him: \"It'll save you.\" Angel is looking down at the floor: \"It'll kill you.\"", "Buffy: \"Maybe not. -. Not if you don't take it all.\" Angel keeps shaking his head, still not looking at her: \"You can't ask me to do that.\"", "Buffy: \"I won't let you die. I can't.\" He still won't look at her. \"Angel the blood of a Slayer is the only cure.\"", "Angel finally glances at Buffy: \"Faith...\"", "Buffy swallows and answers quietly: \"I tired. - I killed her.\" Angel shakes his head and lurches away from Buffy: \"Then it's over.\" Angel stumbles into the main room. He has trouble walking straight. Bumps into the wall, then stumbles and catches himself on the sofa table, spilling a pewter pitcher and plate onto the floor. Buffy grabs him by the arms and pulls him up to face her.", "Buffy: \"It is never over! I won't let you die. Drink!\" Angel glances up at her swaying in her grip: \"Please...\" Buffy looks at him, then pulls back her right fist and hits his left temple. His head snaps around but he stays on his feet. He turns back to look at Buffy and she hits him again. He still doesn't go down, but it takes him a little longer to come back up. Buffy hits him a third time and this time Angel spins back with a growl vamped out. He just stands there, staring at her, while Buffy pulls down the shoulder strap of her shirt, then grabs him by the hair at the back of his head. She looks at him for a moment then firmly pulls his head down against her neck and holds him there. For a moment they remain like this. Then we see a close-up of his yellow eye looking down and he suddenly bites down. Buffy gasps with the pain but holds still. Angel is holding on to her now and you get to hear all those sucking and drinking noises. Close-up of his mouth on Buffy's neck: Some blood is running out beneath his lips and running down her shoulder. Buffy's face scrunches up, she mouths what looks like 'Oh Lord' and slowly sinks backwards to the floor. With Angel lying on top still drinking, Buffy's left hand reaches out and finds the pewter pitcher. She crushes it in her hand. The camera keeps jerking around the whole time, and Buffy is clearly not enjoying the experience. She puts her hands against his sides as if she was going to push him off, but kicks out with her left leg instead, breaking the sofa table in half. She stares up into the camera a tear in the corner of her left eye. Then her eyes drift shut and her head sinks to the side just as Angel finally rolls off her, panting. His face morphs back to human and he pushes himself up looking over at Buffy. The redness around the arrow wound is gone.", "Angel worried: \"Buffy?\" She lies motionless eyes closed.", "Angel bending over her: \"Buffy!\" Part 3 Angel runs into the hospital carrying a limp Buffy in his arms.", "Angel: \"I need some help! She lost a lot of blood.\"", "Nurse: \"What happened?\"", "Angel runs into the ER: \"She needs blood.\"", "Nurse: \"Try to stay calm. We're going to take care of her.\" Angel lays Buffy down on a bed: \"Something bit her. She needs a transfusion.\"", "Doctor: \"You found her?\" Angel: \"Yes.\" Doctor: \"Was she conscious?\"", "Angel: \"Yes.\" Doctor: \"Are you *sure*?\" Angel: \"I'm sure.\"", "Doctor: \"Okay.\" To the nurse: \"I need a type, I need cross-match. Get her on two lines of Wringer's lactate, and watch for hyper-bulimic shock.\" To Angel: \"Tell me: What - happened?\"", "Angel: \"Something bit her. I don't know what.\"", "Doctor (to nurse): \"Okay. I need a rabies shot treatment. (to Angel) Any allergies?\"", "Angel: \"None.\" He rips the handle of the door without really noticing what he's doing. The doctor jumps back surprised. Angel (clearly upset and at the end of his patience): \"*Just* help her.\"", "Doctor after a beat: \"You two been doing drugs? (Angel just looks at him) You want her to live, you have to be straight with me.\"", "Angel: \"She's clean.\"", "Doctor: \"All right. Wait outside. Let us work.\"", "Angel: \"A phone.\"", "Doctor: \"Right out there.\" With a last look at Buffy laying on the bed Angel leaves the room and goes over to a payphone digging some change out of his pocket. There is a police officer standing in the hall. While Angel dials we hear a different doctor: \"The bones are set, and the damage to the kidneys is repairable.\" Camera pans through a nearby door to show a doctor talking to a distraught looking Mayor. \"But the head trauma, its... well its simply to severe. You know, it's a wonder she's alive at all, with the blood loss. - I... I'm sorry Sir, there is almost no chance at all that she is ever going to regain consciousness.\" Camera pans over to show Faith laying in a hospital bed. She looks badly bruised. She is wearing an oxygen tube, an IV, and several monitoring devices. You can hear a heart monitor beeping. The Mayor reaches down and gently brushes her hair from her forehead and strokes her cheek.", "Mayor: \"It's your day.\" Camera pans to show a nurse coming up to the doctor behind him.", "Nurse: \"We have another girl with severe blood loss. Doctor Pal wants you to prep this on an anti cubal cut down (?).\"", "Doctor: \"I'll be right there.\" Camera pans back to the Mayor, who realizes just who that other girl must be. He leaves the room and walks over to Buffy's bed. He puts his left hand over her mouth, also blocking her nose. Buffy starts to move her head with a soft protest. A nurse comes in and tries to pull his hand away, but is unable to budge him. :\"Oh, my God. Sir! No!\" She turns and runs out of the room shouting: \"Somebody call security!\" Close up on Buffy struggling harder. A pair of hands grab the Mayor and push him away from the bed.", "Angel: \"Don't do that!\" The Mayor stumbles back, then gets right into Angel's face: \"I will. I do that and *worse*. (looks over Angel's shoulder at Buffy) Murderous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?\"", "Angel: \"Hadn't any plans to weep over that one.\"", "Mayor seriously upset: \"Well, I'd get set for some weeping if I were you. I'd get set for a *world* of pain! Misery loves company, young man, and I'm looking to share that with you and your *whore*!\" Angel's hands shoot forward and he throws him clear across the room. The Mayor impacts with a window looking onto the corridor, breaking it, then drops to the floor overturning a small metal hospital table holding various implements. The noise brings two nurses to see what's going on. The Mayor looks up at a mad Angel and picks himself up laughing. Mayor brushing off his suit and gesturing towards Angel: \"Looks like somebody has been eating his spinach. (looking over to the two nurses) No, its okay, folks. It's all right. The show's not over, but there will be a short intermission. (looks back at Angel) Don't want to miss the second act. (walks by Angel and out the door) All kinds of excitement!\"", "Angel breathing deeply: \"I'll be there.\" Swallowing hard he looks back at Buffy laying still on the bed.", "Cut to the hallway: Angel is crouched down next to the door to Buffy's room, his back against the wall. The door at the end of the hallway opens. Giles, Willow, Oz and Xander come in. Angel gets up.", "Giles: \"How is she?\"", "Angel: \"She's fine. She's asleep.\"", "Oz with a puzzled frown: \"Well, you seem all right, too.\" Angel looks down and wraps his arms around himself: \"Yeah.\" Xander looks him up and down: \"What happened?\"", "Willow: \"When we left her she was fine. Did Faith...\" Angel interrupts her still not looking at any of them: \"Faith's out of the picture. Buffy put her into a coma.\" Xander takes a deep breath and stares at Angel: \"And?\" Angel shaken and still not meeting their eyes: \"Buffy cured me. - Made me...\" trails off.", "Giles: \"You fed off her.\" Angel looks up at him, takes a deep breath and nods his head once: \"Yes.\"", "Giles rather stern: \"How much?\" Xander swallows hard and looks away.", "Angel: \"She's gonna be fine.\"", "Willow: \"She won't be a vampire?\"", "Angel looking down again: \"No. - She didn't feed off me.\"", "Xander shakes his head: \"Well, its just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim you'll feed off the girl who *loves* you to save your own *ass*!\" Angel says nothing. Willow and Oz just look at him.", "Giles curtly: \"You better go, Angel. We'll watch over her.\"", "Angel shakes is head: \"I don't want to...\" Giles interrupts in a hard voice: \"The sun will be up soon.\" Angel hesitates, clearly reluctant to leave, glances up at Giles. Swallows hard and nods looking down, half looks towards Buffy's room, then slowly walks away.", "Xander shakes his head: \"Gosh, I'm really going to miss him when he leaves town.\"", "Giles: \"Let's go find out how Buffy's doing.\" They walk out of the picture as Angel leaves through the door at the end of the hallway.", "Cut to Buffy walking through Faith's apartment her arms crossed in front of her. There are cardboard boxes stacked everywhere. Buffy stops and sees a cat jump up on Faith's bed.", "Buffy: \"Who's going to look after him?\"", "Faith: \"It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?\" walks up behind Buffy and stops next to her.", "Buffy: \"A higher power guiding us?\" Faith looks at her then turns away and keeps walking towards the camera: \"I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant.\"", "Buffy looking down: \"There's something I'm supposed to be doing.\"", "Faith: \"Oh yeah. - Miles to go - Little Ms. Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.\"", "Buffy grimaces: \"Great. - Riddles.\" Faith standing in front of the broken window looking out: \"Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff.\" Buffy looks at her with a half smile. The cat on the bed turns for a split second into the image of a girl (Faith?) laying on the bed in white gown at the same time as Faith still looking out the broken window says: \"They are never going to fix this, are they?\"", "Buffy concerned: \"What about you?\" Faith turns around and gestures at her head: \"Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades.\" Buffy looks down with a frown. For a split second Faith's bloody knife appears in the palm of her hand. Faith as Buffy looks back up: \"You want to know the deal? Human weakness - never goes away. Not even his.\"", "Buffy with a half smile: \"Is this your mind or mine?\"", "Faith with a short laugh: \"Beats me.\" Buffy gives a little laugh in return and looks down. Faith walks towards her: \"Getting towards that time.\" Buffy looks at all the boxes and the weapons laid out on the table beside her: \"How are you going to fit all this stuff?\"", "Faith: \"Not gonna. It's yours.\"", "Buffy: \"I can't use all of this!\"", "Faith: \"Just take what you need. (reaches her right hand up to touch Buffy's cheek) \"You're ready?\" Flash to white and to Buffy waking up in the hospital. She gets out of bed and slowly walks over to where Faith lies. She looks down at her then softly kisses her forehead.", "Cut to Buffy, fully dressed, walking down the corridor where Xander is pacing while the others are sitting on a bench. They see her and get up to greet her.", "Willow: \"Buffy!\"", "Xander: \"Are you okay?\"", "Giles: \"How do you feel?\"", "Buffy looks around: \"Is Angel here?\"", "Oz: \"He had to go. It got kinda sunny.\"", "Buffy: \"Get him. Get everyone.\"", "Xander: \"What exactly is up?\"", "Giles: \"Buffy, are you sure you're all right?\"", "Buffy: \"I'm ready.\"", "Willow: \"Ready for what?\"", "Buffy: \"War.\" Part 4", "In front of Sunnydale High: there are benches set up for the graduation and a podium for the speaker. Snyder stands at a table holding a box full of diplomas, tapping one of them in his hands and looking around, then sticking it into the box with the others.", "Cut to the library: Buffy is sitting on a chair with her back to the door, facing the others. Giles and Xander on the right side of the table, Willow and Oz on the left, Cordelia standing just left of the steps, while Angel is over against the wall on the right side of the steps in the shadows.", "Buffy: \"So, am I crazy?\"", "Willow: \"Well, 'crazy' is such a *strong* word.\"", "Giles chewing on his glasses: \"Let's not rule it out though.\"", "Buffy: \"You don't think it can be done?\"", "Giles: \"I didn't say that. I might, - but not yet.\"", "Cordelia: \"I personally don't think it's impossible to come up with a crazier plan.\"", "Oz: \"We attack the Mayor with humus.\" Everyone looks at him.", "Cordelia: \"I stand corrected.\"", "Oz: \"Just trying to keep things in perspective.\"", "Cordelia sarcastic: \"Thank you. - My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. - Besides, it's Buffy's, - and she's slay gal, - you know, Ms little Likes-to-fight. So..\"", "Xander interrupts her: \"I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.\"", "Buffy: \"Well, I'm going to need every single one of you on board. Especially you Xander. You're sort of the key figure here.\"", "Xander: \"Key? - Me? (takes a deep breath) Okay, - pride, - humility, - and here is the mind numbing fear. (sighs) What do I have to do?\"", "Buffy: \"Do you remember any of your military training from when you became soldier guy?\"", "Xander points at her: \"Uh, rocket launcher?\"", "Buffy regretfully: \"Rocket launcher not going to get it done. I mean, it took a volcano to kill one of these things last time.\" Giles gets up and walks towards her: \"Um, Buffy, all of this is rather depended on your being able to control the Mayor.\"", "Buffy: \"Faith told me to play on his human weakness.\"", "Willow: \"Faith told you? Was that before or after you put her into a coma?\"", "Buffy: \"After.\" Willow: \"Oh.\" Then looks confused over at Oz.", "Giles: \"His weakness.\" Buffy: \"Right.\" Giles: \"Which is...?\"", "Buffy: \"You know I do all this planing. I'm in charge here, even though I am really not at my best...\" Giles puts his glasses back on: \"Well, let's... let's...ah, let's think.\"", "Oz: \"Well, Angel, you hung with him the most. Is there something that he's afraid of?\" Buffy's looking down uncomfortably.", "Angel: \"Well, he's not crazy about germs.\"", "Cordelia: \"Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs!\"", "Buffy: \"Great! We'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him.\"", "Cordelia gesturing excitedly: \"No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and... and.... Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and... uhm (snaps her fingers) chase him... (Oz frowns and no one else says anything) with the box...\"", "Xander: \"I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.\"", "Oz: \"He'll never see it coming.\"", "Angel: \"Faith.\" Buffy glances over at him and asks: \"Faith?\"", "Angel: \"At the hospital he was grieving. Seriously crazed, and not just in a homicidal I want to be a demon way. (Wesley comes in the door behind Buffy) She is his weak link.\"", "Buffy: \"Faith. (looks up at Giles) I can work that.\"", "Wesley coming up behind her: \"You haven't an enormous amount of time.\"", "Xander: \"Hey it's Mr. States-the-Obvious.\"", "Buffy without turning around: \"The council is not welcome here. I have no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call.\" Wesley comes to stand next to her: \"I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.\" Buffy looks up at him.", "Cordelia: \"That is so classy! (looks around at the others) Isn't he just so classy?\"", "Buffy: \"It's a start.\"", "Wesley: \"So there is something I can do... besides scream like a woman.\"", "Buffy: \"There is plenty. There is chores for everyone. (Get up off her chair) Okay, this is...\"", "Cut to the Mayor speaking to his hench-vamps: \"...how it's going to lay out. The transformation should begin at exactly 3:28. I'll just be finishing my speech - you know, it's too bad you fellows have to miss that, because I think it speaks to everyone of us. I mean, heck, I've been working on it for a hundred years. It better be good. (laughs) They'll try to run, of course, and this is when I'll need you boys in flanking position.\"", "Vampire: \"But Sir, the sun!\"", "Mayor: \"Not a problem.\" Blends into the library and Wesley reading: \"Darkness will follow and day becomes night.\" Buffy stands next to him with her arms crossed: \"An eclipse.\"", "Wesley: \"Standard procedure for an ascension?\"", "Angel steps up to them: \"That puts me back into the game.\"", "Buffy: \"Yea, it does. You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?\" Neither one of them looks precisely overjoyed at the prospect.", "Xander: \"But I'm still key-guy, right?\" Buffy: \"Right.\" Xander: \"Then Angel, - in his non key-guy capacity, - can work with me.\"", "Angel sarcastic: \"What fun.\"", "Xander to Angel: \"Hey! Key-guy is still talking...\"", "Buffy: \"Oh, that's good! Start bickering. That's going to look great for us. (walks past them towards the steps) You guys are like little old ladies!\"", "Cut to the Mayor pointing at a map: \"You come up through the sewers here. The important thing is containment. I'll need to feed. It's crucial in the first few minutes to sustain the change. What does that mean? (shakes his finger at them) No snacking. I see blood on your lips, it's a visit to the wood shed for you boys. Kill. Don't feed.\"", "Cut to Buffy coming to look over Oz' and Willow's shoulders as they are looking through some books on the table of the library. Buffy: \"So, how are we coming on vulcano detail?\"", "Oz: \"I think we can work it out.\"", "Willow: \"Fun with chemistry.\"", "Buffy: \"Xander said he should be able to get the materials.\"", "Oz: \"Who's going to stoke it up?\" Buffy turns to Giles coming up beside them: \"You feel up to it?\"", "Giles taking off his glasses: \"Ah, I suppose it should be I. It's strangely fitting in a grotesque fashion.\"", "Buffy: \"Okay guys, start reaching out. Giles: weapons, weapons, weapons.\" Starts walking out.", "Giles: \"Ah, what about you?\"", "Buffy: \"There is something I have to get.\"", "Cut to the Mayor: \"Remember: fast and brutal. It's going to be a whole new world come nightfall, don't want to weaken now. (the vampires start leaving his office) And boys? - Let's watch the swearing.\"", "Cut to Xander walking into a classroom where Harmony is talking with two other girls. Xander takes her by the arm: \"Harmony, listen, I need to talk to you for a second.\"", "Harmony: \"You mean in front of other people?\" Xander grimaces and pulls her out of the room.", "Cut to Percy wearing his graduation gown: \"Are they serious? I'm going to look stupid in this!\"", "Willow comes up behind him: \"Percy!\"", "Percy turns to her: \"Do I look stupid in this? Be honest.\"", "Willow: \"You look great. You got a sec?\"", "Cut to Wesley and Cordelia putting books into boxes in the library. The glance at each other a couple of times when the other isn't looking, but continue packing. Wesley straightens up and says firmly: \"Cordelia.\" Cordelia spins around to face him: \"Yes.\"", "Wesley: \"You know that... when this is over...\" Cordelia: \"Yes.\" Wesley: \"uhm, well, should we prevail... I'll be going back to England.\" Cordelia turns back to the shelf and take down another book: \"I know.\"", "Wesley shifting awkwardly: \"With Buffy no longer working for the council, there really is... no place for me here.\" Cordelia turns back around and steps closer to him: \"I guess not.\" Wesley takes a step towards her clasping his hands in front of him: \"No... reason to stay.\" Cordelia inches closer: \"No.\" Wesley inches close as well: \"No. No... cause to hope that...(takes off his glasses while Cordy looks down) I might be needed?\" Cordy looks up at him: \"Needed?\" Wesley: \"Or... wanted...\" Cordelia: \"Wanted...\" Wesley takes a deep breath and leans down to kiss Cordy putting his hands behind his back. Cordy puts a on his shoulder and tries to kiss him. They bump noses and juggle awkwardly. Wesley waves his hand s around in the air beside Cordy. Cordy tries to wrap her arms around his back to pull him (unsuccessfully) closer. They maneuver around a bit more then pull back to look at each other breaking apart. Cordy looks to the side and wipes her mouth. They try again but with about as much success. They break back apart and Cordy sighs in frustration and disappointment. She wipes her mouth again and looks back up at him taking a deep breath: \"Good look in England.\" Wesley nods and puts his glasses back on: \"Yes, uhm, I'll drop you a line some time.\"", "Cordy smiles at him: \"That'll be neat.\"", "Wesley smiles back at her: \"Yes, hmm...\" Wesley wipes his mouth as they turn away from each other and go back to packing up the books.", "Cut to Larry and Jonathon taking sacks of fertilizer (?) from Oz and Willow out of Oz' black van and putting them into a shopping cart.", "Oz: \"Okay, put these with the others. Don't touch anything.\"", "Jonathon: \"Uh, wha... what do we do then?\"", "Oz: \"Nothing.\"", "Willow: \"Just relax. Have a good time.\"", "Jonathon: \"O... Okay.\"", "Larry: \"Okay, it's clear. Lets move.\" Starts moving off with the shopping cart while Jonathon shuts the van's sliding door. Cut inside the van.", "Willow: \"I guess that's it. Won't be long now.\"", "Oz (concerned): \"You nervous?\"", "Willow swallows: \"Only in a... terrified way.\"", "Oz takes her hand: \"We'll make it through this.\"", "Willow: \"Are you sure?\"", "Oz considers: \"I sound pretty sure, don't I?\"", "Willow smiles: \"Yeah.\"", "Oz half smiles: \"Then I must be sure.\"", "Willow frowns at him: \"Is that just a comforting way of not answering the question?\" Oz blinks and almost shrugs. Willow and oz lean forward and they kiss softly. Oz puts his hand up to caress the side of her head. They kiss some more. Willow pulls away just a little and slowly opens her eyes: \"How long till graduation?\"", "Oz: \"A little while.\" Willow moves to kiss him again.", "Cut to Buffy walking into Giles office where Angel is sorting through weapons. When she sees Angel she hesitates for a moment, then continues in. Angel with out turning around to see who came in: \"Did you get what you needed?\" Buffy coming up next to him: \"Yeah, I did. (looks at the weapons) This isn't going to be enough.\" Angel still looking down at the stuff on the table: \"Giles is on it. (as Buffy turns and starts to leave he turns and asks quickly) How are you?\" Buffy stops and slowly turns towards him avoiding his eyes she says quietly: \"I heal fast. Like you.\" then louder: \"So, are we sure that everyone knows what their position...\" Angel interrupts her looking down at the table, quietly: \"I'm not going to say good-bye.\" Buffy looks up at him with a frown, which slowly dissolves. Angel glances up at her, looks back down, swallows then looks back up: \"If we get through this... I'm just going to go.\" Buffy slowly looks down.", "Angel: \"You understand? (Buffy nods slightly and swallows hard) There is just too much to...\" Buffy puts up a hand to stop him. Angel hesitates a moment then puts down the crossbow bolt he has been playing with and turns to leave quietly. Buffy takes a slow breath then looks down at her hands and unwraps the white cloth in her hand to reveal Faith's knife with some dried blood still coloring the blade.", "Cut to the quad and the student taking their seats. The music stops and the students sit down.", "Snyder at the podium: \"Congratulations to the class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so: sit still and be quiet. (Surveys the students) Spit out that gum. - Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker: Richard Wilkins the 3rd. (to one of the students) I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.\" Turns and claps.", "Cut to the students clapping and Willow and Oz running to take their places. Willow sits down next to Buffy.", "Willow: \"Am I late? To the fight? (?)\" The Mayor shakes Snyder's hand and steps up to the podium. Smiles and takes out some cue cards. Mayor clears his throat and surveys the students: \"Well. What a day this is! - Special day. Today is our centennial the one hundreds anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that means to all you kids: not - a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens: today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what kids? ...\"", "Buffy: \"Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.\"", "Willow: \"Man, just ascend already.\"", "Buffy: \"Evol!\"", "Mayor: \"... for all of you it may be that there is a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here. For you... for Sunnydale. There has been achievement, joy, good times,... and there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. (close-up on Buffy listening) But we are. - Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance traveled? Time spent? (shakes his head) No. It's what happens on the way, it the things that happen to you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. (close-up on Willow) Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. (Pan across Xander and Cordy) Nothing will ever be the same. (a shadow falls across the Mayor) Nothing.\" He looks up. Buffy and the other students look up to see the sun being totally blocked. The Mayor flinches in pain. Then swallows and continues his speech: \"And so as we look back on... (Pain hits him again and he turns half to the side groaning) on the events that brought us to this day (another wave of pain) \"", "Buffy with her hat off: \"Come on.\"", "Mayor: \"We... (stops in pain again all the students are watching tensely) we must all...(screams) (the students and the faculty look at each other uneasily) It has begun. My destiny. (smiles) It's a little sooner then I expected I had this whole section on civic pride... (shuffles cue cards) But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!\" Buffy and Willow look at each other as the Mayor starts to grimace and stretch and grow. His suit splits around him and Snyder is leaning back in his seat looking taken aback. The Mayor suddenly transforms into a big snake-like demon with clawed mandibles surrounding its mouth. It keeps growing, stretching higher as the faculty abandons their seats. The students get up but stay in place staring up at the Mayor, who seems to stretch up above the roof of the school.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Part 5 The Students stare up as the parents in the back to panic and leave. A group of vampires comes up the steps behind the students.", "Buffy: \"Now!\" All the students take off their gowns revealing crosses, axes, and other assorted weaponry.", "Buffy: \"Flame units.\" (Several students (including Larry point flame throwers at the Mayor and start flaming him. The Mayor sways above the students screaming. Buffy nods at Xander.", "Xander: \"First wave! (a group of students including Willow aim cross bows loaded with lance points at the Mayor) Fire!\" The Mayor screams and sways then lunges down and swallows a student in the first row. Buffy stares in shock, as some of the students start milling around.", "Snyder upset: \"This... this is simply unacceptable!\" Three up the students break and run right into the group of vampires waiting on the steps. Oz looks over as they are quickly killed by the vampires.", "Oz turns back around: \"Xander?\"", "Xander: \"Arm bow men (Oz and some others pick up long bows and arrows. The vampires slowly move up the steps as the kids lit their arrows on fire and take aim) Fire!\" The students let fly a mass and several vampires are hit and turn into flaming dust. Xander looks back at the students in front of the Mayor. Jonathan comes flying through the air and lands on top some students knocking them down. Buffy to the students around her: \"Fall back!\"", "Xander to the bow men: \"Fire!\" The students let fly with the fire arrows again and several more vampires get hit. The vampires turn to leave only to find themselves confronted by another group of students led by Angel who is flanked by Percy and Wesley. They look at each other for a moment then Angel's group attacks. Angel starts beat up some vampires. Wesley runs up and right into a vampires fist, falls on his back (ala clothes line trick). Angel fights two or three vampires at once easily holding his own. The flame units once more shoot fire at the Mayor. Larry's flame thrower cuts out or jams and after a moment he put is down and takes up a lance. The Mayor's tail whips around, throwing Larry up in the air. He lands hard in front of the podium.", "Cut to Angel throwing some vampires around. Cut to Buffy getting up on a chair and looking up at the Mayor. Cut to Snyder looking up: \"This is not orderly. This is not discipline!\" Cut to the Mayor's snake head whipping around. Cut to Snyder talking to the Mayor: \"You're on my campus buddy!\"", "Cut to view point of the Mayor looking down at Snyder. Snyder: \"And when I say I want quiet, I want...\"", "Cut to the Mayor's head coming down and swallowing Snyder. Buffy and Xander look on in horror. Buffy to the students around her: \"Fall Back! Get back! (She gets down from her chair and turns to Willow) Go!\" Willow says: \"Good luck!\" then leaves.", "Buffy: \"Xander take 'em down.\" Xander pulls a stake out of his back pocket: \"Everyone: hand to hand! (Buffy reaches into her jacket) Everyone! Lets go! Move! Move!\"", "Cut to Angel sending a vampire flying, then taking care of two others. His group is driving the vampires back up the steps. One of them turns around and yells: \"Get the kids!\" The other vampires turn to follow his lead only to find themselves confronted with a mass of armed and angry teenagers with baseball bats, crosses and stakes. Harmony gets bit, but another girl starts whaling on her attacker with a bat. Jonathon jumps a vampire and falls down the steps with him.", "Xander struggling with another vampire: \"Right flank close in. Close!(pushes the vampire off) Jason and Paul(?) you guys are right flank!\"", "Cut to Angel punching another two vampires. Cut to Cordy staking a vampire coming at her in good form. Cut to Oz moving down the steps. Cut to Wesley still laying on his back lifting a hand and looking around.", "Wesley groaning: \"How about some help here...\" We see feet rushing past him. Cut to students fighting.", "Cut to the Mayor's head swing in the air.", "Mayor's PoV: Buffy: \"Hey! (holds Faith's knife in her right hand) You remember this? (Close on Buffy looking up at the Mayor) I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. (Looks at the knife then back up at the Mayor) Just slid in her like she was butter.\" Cut to the Mayor gnashing his teeth and growling.", "Mayor's PoV: Buffy: \"You want to get it back from me (close up on Buffy) Dick?\"", "Camera from Mayor's PoV: Buffy turns and runs into the school with the Mayor in pursuit.", "Cut to the hall: Buffy opens the door and runs in. The Mayor barrels down the door and some of the surrounding wall as he pursues her. Buffy keeps running towards the library while the Mayor tears through the school like a freight train. Buffy runs into the library, vaults a banister looking back at the Mayor. The Mayor looks around the library and sees the barrels of diesel fuel and bags of fertilizer stacked everywhere. Buffy keeps running and jumps out of a window. Cut to the Mayor looking around and growling. Mayor (in his own voice that sounds like it is coming from the bottom of a rain barrel): \"Well, gosh.\"", "Cut to Buffy crouching down next to Giles who pushes down the plunger. Cut to a fire cloud erupting from the top of the school. Cut to Xander and Angel looking up at the explosion. Cut to some more explosions erupting from the school. Cut to Percy laying on the steps looking up at them. Cut to Jonathon protectively wrapping his arms around a girl as he looks at another explosion. Cut to more explosions erupting all along the school. Cut to Buffy and Giles nest to the plunger. Close on Buffy staring then looking over at Giles.", "Cut to police cars and fire trucks parked in front of the school. The air is dark and smoky. We see two fire men wheeling a gurney with a groaning Wesley over towards an ambulance.", "Wesley: \"If I could... could just get something for the pain. It's rather a lot of pain, actually. Aspirin? If you would... uh... ah...(The fire men start sliding the gurney into the ambulance) Perhaps I could just be knocked unconscious.\" More groaning as they slide him into the ambulance. Pan to Xander and Buffy walking by. Xander watches Wesley being put in the ambulance. Buffy keeps looking around her.", "Xander: \"We got off pretty cheap... considering.\"", "Buffy still looking around: \"Seems like we did.\" They walk a few more steps then Buffy stops still looking around. Xander stops beside her his hands buried in his pockets.", "Xander: \"He made it through the fight. (Buffy whips around to look at him) Guess maybe he (take a deep breath) he took off after.\" Buffy blinks and looks down. Xander makes a grimace then turns and walks away. Buffy stand there, again looking around, and Giles comes up to her. Giles puts a hand on her shoulder: \"Are you all right?\" Buffy lays her head to one side: \"I'm tired.\"", "Giles smiles: \"I should imagine so. It's been quite a couple of days.\"", "Buffy tiredly: \"I haven't processed everything yet. (with a small laugh) My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. (takes a deep breath) It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty.\"", "Giles shakes his head: \"Understandable. Well, when it's working again congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well.\"", "Buffy nods: \"Thank you. I will.\"", "Giles puts his glasses on: \"I ah... I managed to ferret this out of the wreckage. Now, it may not interest you, but... (reaches into his jacket and pulls out a high school diploma) I'd say you earned it.\" Hands it to Buffy who looks at it and takes it. Giles taking a deep breath and looking around: \"There is a certain (takes off his glasses) dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronicity that borders on... on predestination, one might say.\"", "Buffy looks at him: \"Fire bad; tree pretty.'", "Giles looks at her: \"Yes, s...sorry. (puts his glasses back on) I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's... is still... (suppressing a laugh) whimpering.\" Walks off and Buffy looks after him. Suddenly she turns around a slight frown on her face. Her eyes lock on something and her face clears. Cut to Angel standing beside a fire truck looking at her. Close on Angel's face. Close on Buffy's face. Both just staring at each other. Buffy blinks and her face falls. She hugs herself a little closer. Close on Angel, first obscured by some firemen walking by, then by a cloud of smoke. The smoke blows by and he steps back, slowly turns around and walks off. Cut to Buffy watching him leave. Cut to Angel disappearing into the smoke.", "Cut to Willow sitting on a stone bench in front of the school, Xander sitting beside her on the ground and Oz standing behind her. Cordelia come walking up to them.", "Cordelia: \"Well, that's the most fun you can have without having any fun.\"", "Willow smiling: \"How about the part where we kicked some demon ass. (Oz strokes her hair from behind) I didn't hate that.\"", "Xander: \"Hear, hear!\"", "Buffy come walking up: \"You guys want to take off? I think we've done pretty much all we can.\" Cordelia raises her eyebrows and nods: \"I'm for it.\"", "Willow looks up at Buffy: \"Are you okay?\" Buffy nods and says in a small voice: \"Yeah... I'm okay. - I could use a little sleep though.\"", "Willow nods and agrees emphatically: \"Yeah.\" Buffy sits down on the bench next to her: \"If someone could just wake me when it's time to go to college, that'd be great.\" Willow smiles at her. Oz his hands in his pockets: \"Guys take a moment to deal with this: - we survived.\" Xander nods.", "Buffy: \"It was a hell of a battle!\"", "Oz: \"Not the battle (Cordy looks at him) high school.\" They all look quietly at the school and listen to the crickets chirping.", "Oz: \"We're taking a moment (Willow and Buffy get up from the bench. Oz looks at Cordy) and we're done.\" Xander get up and walks off next to Cordelia: \"Well, School's done.\" Oz puts an arm around Willow as they all walk off together. Xander: \"It's ssso... Cool!\"", "Willow: \"Why do demons even come here any more? I mean, don't they know...\" Camera pans down to show a maroon Sunnydale High 99 yearbook with the word 'The Future Is Ours' on it." ]

[ "While Willow blossoms in the college environment, Buffy has a difficult time adjusting - getting lost, getting kicked out of a class for talking, meeting her Cher-loving roommate Kathy ( Dagney Kerr ) - and her Slaying suffers because of it." ]

[ "This transcript should be considered as copylefted... that is, you can do anything with this transcript you want as long as it doesn't interfere with others right's to do anything with it that they might want, also. You can modify it, but if you want to use any part of this transcript, your modifications should be copylefted also. Explicit license is hereby given for anyone to archive this transcript whenever and wherever they may wish.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "It's night in the cemetery and Buffy is pacing back and forth. Willow is seated cross-legged reading papers.", "Buffy: [sighing] Anything?", "Willow: Ah! 'Introduction to the Modern Novel.' \"A survey study of twentieth century novelists.\" Open to freshmen, you might like that.", "Buffy: 'Introduction to the Modern Novel?' I'm guessing I'd probably have to read the modern novel.", "Willow: Maybe more than one.", "Buffy: I like books. I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the modern blurb?", "Willow: Oh! Short story.", "Buffy: Well, that's good.", "Willow: Oh, no. It conflicts with Psych.", "Buffy: Maybe I shouldn't take Psych.", "Willow: You gotta. I-It's fun, a-and you can use it as your science requirement. Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like, world-renowned.", "Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be 'nowned' first?", "Willow: Yes, first there's the painful 'nowning' process. Wait! 'Images of Pop Culture.' This is good. T-They watch movies, T-TV shows, even commercials.", "Buffy: For credit?", "Willow: Heh. Isn't college cool?", "Buffy: How'd I miss that one? Buffy walks over and sits beside her.", "Willow: Well, you did sort of wait till the last minute with your course selection.", "Buffy: Sorry, 'Miss I-chose-my-major-in-playgroup.'", "Willow: That's an exaggeration. I just, you know, think it's good to be prepared. Don't want to be caught unawares. Behind them a hand thrusts up out of a fresh grave.", "Buffy: Well I've been busy! It's been a very slay-heavy summer. I just haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale. A vampire's head and shoulders emerge from the grave.", "Willow: It's exciting, though, isn't it?", "Buffy: Yeah! It's gonna be an adjustment.", "Willow: Yeah, it's like, five miles away. It's uncharted territory. The vampire struggles to climb up.", "Buffy: Giles said I have to be secret-identity gal again.", "Willow: That makes sense. The vampire makes it out of the grave and starts walking toward them, his face vamped out.", "Buffy: It's gonna be tough, though... with a roommate.", "Willow: Yeah.", "Buffy: I'm psyched about college. (The vampire smiles as he gets closer.)", "Buffy: Definitely. (He stops as he sees weapons stacked against a gravestone.)", "Buffy: I just need to figure out how it's going to work with my extra-curricular activities. (The vamp looks at Buffy, the smile gone.)", "Buffy: I just can't let it take the edge off my slaying. (Shaking his head, the vampire turns and walks away.)", "Buffy: I gotta stay sharp. (She looks behind her toward the fresh grave.) Is this guy ever gonna wake up?", "[Opening credits]", "Buffy is standing in the middle of a quad with students milling all around her. She's looking around.", "Student Volunteer: FRESHMEN! WE'RE DOING THIS BY FOLDER COLOR! IF YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ON TO A YELLOW FOLDER, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG GROUP. YOU BELONG UP BY WIESMAN HALL. (She points. Buffy looks at the folders in her arms but doesn't see a yellow one. She starts to walk in the indicated direction.) Girl standing in front of banner that reads \"THIS MUST STOP\"", "Girl: Not gonna take it!", "Crowd: No!", "Girl: Don't take it lying down!", "Crowd: No!", "Girl: What do we want?", "Crowd: [Unintelligible... Food?]", "Girl: When do we want it?", "Crowd: Now! A student walks up and hands her a flier.", "Boy: Rally, tomorrow night. We have to let the administration know how we feel.", "Buffy: Yeah, right. Another student hands her another flier.", "Girl: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?", "Buffy: Uh, you know I meant to and then I just got really busy. A third student hands her yet another flier.", "Boy: Party, Thursday at Alpha Delt, you gotta be there. Free Jello shots for freshman women.", "Buffy: Hey, you guys know where Wiesman hall is? But the student is already accosting someone else. Buffy continues walking and Willow meets up with her.", "Willow: Buffy, Hey!", "Buffy: Oh, boy am I glad to see you. They continue walking.", "Willow: Isn't this cool? There's so much going on.", "Buffy: Yeah. Almost, one might say, too much.", "Willow: I got all my courses... except for 'Modern Poetry', I had to switch to 'Ethno-musicology.' But that's cool, West-African drumming, I think it's going to change everything. Have you met your roommate yet?", "Buffy: No.", "Willow: Me neither. I hope she's cool.", "Buffy: (Indicating the fliers in Willow's hands.) I see you got ticketed too.", "Willow: Yes! I've heard about five different issues and I'm angry about each and every one of them. What'd you get?", "Buffy: 'Jello shots.'", "Willow: I didn't get 'Jello shots!' (She picks a flier out and tries to hand it to Buffy.) I-I'll trade you for a-a 'Take Back the Night.' Buffy hands over all her fliers with a smile.", "Buffy: Are we heading anywhere near Wiesman Hall? I still need to get my I.D. card.", "Willow: Oh, I got mine this morning. The lines are really long now, you should have gone early.", "Buffy: Well, I hope that I learn from this experience, and that I grow.", "Willow: I'm being annoying, aren't I?", "Buffy: No, it's nice that you're excited.", "Willow: It's just in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up--you know?--and letting this place thrust into and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.", "Buffy: I'm with you, though, I'm all for spurty knowledge. It's just, a little overwhelming. Don't you feel it?", "Willow: Well, I'm... (Gasp) Ooh, boyfriend! My on-campus boyfriend. (Oz comes up and he and Willow kiss.)", "Buffy: Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up. Line's probably really long there, too.", "Willow: How are you?", "Oz: Good. It's pretty much a madhouse, a madhouse.", "Buffy: I know, I was just saying that to Willow. I mean it's just so overwhelming. Don't you feel completely disoriented?", "Paul: Oz! (A student comes up to them.)", "Oz: Hey, Paul.", "Paul: Finally matriculating with us, very cool! Tell me you're playing this week!", "Oz: Thursday night, Alpha Delta.", "Willow: Ooh! (She holds up a flier.) I have that one!", "Paul: I'm bringing the wrecking crew. Jello shots? Hmm? Do you know where they're distributing the work study applications?", "Oz: (Points.) Back of Richmond Hall, next to the auditorium.", "Paul: Thanks. Seeya bro. (He walks off.)", "Oz: Go get'em. (He remembers what Buffy was talking about.) My band's played here a lot. It's still all new. I don't know what the hell's going on. (He sees someone.) Hey, Doug! Later, Buffy and Willow are indoors, walking along a hallway.", "Willow: Library... ooh! Library. C'mon. (They start climbing a flight of stairs.)", "Buffy: It's too bad Giles can't be librarian here. Be convenient. They reach a landing and turn left to continue up another flight.", "Willow: Well, he says that he's enjoying being a gentleman of leisure.", "Buffy: Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just british for unemployed?", "Willow: Uh-huh, he's a slacker now.", "Buffy: Speaking of slack, have you heard anything from Xander?", "Willow: Not for awhile, he's still on his cross-country-see-America thing. (They reach another landing and turn to climb yet another flight.) He said he wasn't coming back until he had driven to all fifty states.", "Buffy: Did you explain about Hawaii?", "Willow: Oh, he seemed so determined.", "Buffy: I hope he gets back soon. It'd be fun to have the whole gang back together--you know?--hanging out in the... library. Wow! They enter the library, a huge room with a vaulting cupola ceiling.", "Willow: Oh my gosh! Isn't this amazing?", "Buffy: It's... cozy.", "Willow: You know I never wanted to hurt Giles' feelings, but occult books aside, our old library just didn't have the greatest selection. But this!", "Buffy: Yeah, this is great, you know, if we ever need a place for the Nuremberg rallies.", "Willow: This is a real library. (Someone shushes them.) See we even have to whisper. It's like a whole new world. The bookstore. Students are milling about carrying books in shopping baskets. Buffy carries an arm full of books and Willow comes up with a basket.", "Willow: Here.", "Buffy: Thanks. (Buffy puts the books in the basket.) Can't wait till mom gets the bill for these books, I hope it's a funny aneurysm.", "Willow: 'Introduction to Psychology.' Oh, up there. (She indicates three of four books stacked on the edge of the top of a bookshelf.)", "Buffy: I'll get'em. You know, this store discriminates against short people.", "Willow: Oh, I think there's a protest next week. Buffy reaches up and accidentally knocks the books off.", "Buffy: Woah, oh. (They fall on the head of a young man crouched underneath. He staggers back but recovers.) Oh, ahh. Oh god, I'm so sorry. He stands up.", "Riley: I'm okay. It's okay. Well, that was bracing.", "Buffy: I'm so... the books were just too high, and then everything was bad. (She bends down to pick up the books.)", "Riley: Let me give you a hand. (He bends down and picks up some books.) Let's put a few of these down here. (He puts them on a lower shelf.) So, uh, are you girls taking Intro Psych, or do you just want me dead?", "Buffy: Uh-huh. I mean the first one.", "Riley: Well, you'll have a lot of fun. Professor Walsh--she's quite a character.", "Willow: You've taken it?", "Riley: I'm a TA, I'll be helping the Professor out. I'm sorry, I've forgotten my manners in all the concussion... I'm Riley.", "Willow: Willow, and this is my friend Buffy.", "Riley: It's nice to meet you both.", "Buffy: I'm nice to meet.", "Willow: Hey, do you know if we're going to be studying 'Operant Conditioning' in the first semester? 'Cause I hear that's kinda Professor Walsh's specialty.", "Riley: Absolutely. Do you know her treatise on Dietrichs work?", "Willow: I know of it.", "Riley: It's not in the syllabus, but it's a fascinating read... if you're in to that sort of thing. They have it here.", "Willow: Oh, where?", "Riley: I'll show you. I don't meet that many freshmen that know that much about psychology.", "Willow: Well, it's fascinating.", "Buffy: Yeah, you know, 'cause everyone's got a brain. (Riley half smiles politely and starts leading the way.) Or, almost everyone. (She follows Riley and Willow.) Dorm corridor. Buffy works her way through milling students, both male and female. She enters a dorm room with two beds and two desks. She sees another young woman there unpacking a suitcase laying on one of the beds.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Kathy: (Looks up.) Oh, hi! Are you Buffy?", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Kathy: Kathy.", "Buffy: Hi, it's nice to meet you.", "Kathy: Yeah! Buffy puts her things down on a desk and crosses over to the bed and sits down.", "Buffy: So, it's, ah... it's a pretty nice room.", "Kathy: Hmm! I was surprised, 'cause you hear horror stories about freshmen housing. You took the right side?", "Buffy: Yeah, umm, but if you want it...", "Kathy: No, no. I just wanted to make sure that's what you wanted. Exited for classes tomorrow?", "Buffy: Painfully.", "Kathy: (Laughs) I bet there's going to be a lot of parties to go to this week, too. Not that I'm a crazy partier. Oh, and I'm not always this hyper, either. I'm just excited.", "Buffy: Yeah, me too. Kathy crosses the room and picks up a folded poster and carries it to a wall on her side of the room.", "Kathy: I am really glad they put me with somebody cool... I can tell that you're cool. I just know that this whole year is going to be super fun! (She unfolds the poster onto the wall revealing it to be of Celine Dion.) Night time. Buffy is laying in bed listening to Kathy snore, smack her lips and mumble in her sleep. Day time. Buffy is in a lecture hall while Professor Reegert gives his introductory lecture.", "Professor Reegert: The point of this course is not to critique popular American culture. It is not to pick at it, or look down upon it. And it is not to watch videos for credit. (Small laughter from students.) The point is to examine...", "Buffy: (Whispers to student beside her) Do you know if this class is full yet?", "Professor Reegert: And there are two people talking at once, and I know that one of them is me. And the other is... a blonde girl. You, blonde girl. Stand up. I'm very excited to hear what you have to say that's worth interrupting my lecture for. Buffy stands.", "Buffy: I was just asking if the class was still open, if I could still sign up.", "Professor Reegert: (Picks up a clipboard.) If your name isn't on this sheet then you are wasting everyone's time. Are you on the sheet?", "Buffy: They told me that if I just...", "Professor Reegert: Do you understand? You are sucking energy from everyone in this room. They came here to learn. Get out!", "Buffy: I didn't mean to... suck.", "Professor Reegert: Leave! (She starts to leave.) Thank you. (She walks out.) Busy hallway. Buffy is looking around. Riley comes up to her.", "Riley: If, uh, you're looking for Psych, it's through here. (He points.)", "Buffy: Oh, thanks. How's your head?", "Riley: Sorry?", "Buffy: Yesterday. In the bookstore. You don't remember.", "Riley: Oh no, sure, I remember you. You're Willow's friend.", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Riley: My head is fine, it just stung for a bit and I lost most of my basic motor functions. It's no biggie. (They reach the lecture hall.) We're here. I'm sorry, I'm trying to remember you.", "Buffy: Buffy.", "Riley: Buffy, right. Have fun tonight, ok?", "Buffy: Thanks. (She starts toward the tiers and turns back.)", "Buffy: You know, I was just wondering. Professor Walsh isn't planning on yelling at me and kicking me out of the class, is she?", "Riley: It's not in her lesson plan.", "Buffy: Great. (She turns back to the tiers and spots Willow and Oz. Willow waves to her, and Buffy climbs up to sit beside her.)", "Willow: How was pop culture?", "Buffy: I decided not to take it. It seemed dull. Professor Walsh comes into the lecture hall and Riley hands her a sheet of paper.", "Professor Walsh: Ok. This is Psych 105, 'Introduction to Psychology', I'm Professor Walsh. Those of you who fall under my good graces will come to know me as Maggie. Those of you who don't will come to know me by the name my TAs use, and think I don't know about, 'The Evil Bitch Monster of Death.' Make no mistake, I run a hard class, I assign a lot of work, I talk fast and I expect you to keep up. If you're looking to coast I recommend 'Geology 101,' that's where the football players are. It's night time and Buffy is walking along a walkway looking around. She looks behind her and collides with another student.", "Buffy: Ooh!", "Eddie: Wow, sorry.", "Buffy: No, I-I wasn't looking.", "Eddie: Did you, uh, lose your way?", "Buffy: Me? Oh, no, no, I'm just going to Fischer Hall. Which I know is on the Earth planet. Recently voted 'Most Pathetic.' Uh-huh.", "Eddie: Hmm, well, I'm lost and I have a map. (He holds it up.) So...", "Buffy: Ooh, I come in second. I'm Buffy, by the way.", "Eddie: Eddie.", "Buffy: Ok, so... (They both study the map.) That's Fischer Hall, right?", "Eddie: Ok, and this is Dunwirth Building, that's my dorm... it's just... it's us I can't find.", "Buffy: Are we the blue part?", "Eddie: No... yes!", "Buffy: Ok, right, so I-I came from there, then we just wanna go that way (She points.) to the bike path.", "Eddie: You sound very certain, I'm in. (They start walking and he sees the books in Buffy's arms.) You're taking 'Psych 105' with Professor Walsh.", "Buffy: Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna try. She's not afraid of the long words, huh?", "Eddie: Yeah, she's pretty intense. A lot of the courses are really tough.", "Buffy: I'm a little upset. I had it on good authority that this was a party school.", "Eddie: I think it's supposed to get easier.", "Buffy: I still feel like carrying around a security blanket.", "Eddie: 'Of Human Bondage.' Have you ever read it?", "Buffy: Oh, I'm not really into p0rn... I mean I'm just... I'm trying to cut way back.", "Eddie: (Laughs.) No, there's no actual bondage, it's just a novel. I've read it, like, ten times. I always keep it by my bed... security blanket.", "Buffy: I don't really have a security blanket... unless you count Mr. Pointy.", "Eddie: Mr. Pointy?", "Buffy: Oh, bike path. So it's nice to know that I'm not the onlyentirely confused person on this campus.", "Eddie: I suspect there's a lot of us.", "Buffy: Well, I'll look for you in Psych.", "Eddie: Yeah, maybe we can help each other figure out what the hell they're talking about.", "Buffy: (Laughs.) Ok.", "Eddie: Maybe even make it through the year. (Laughs.)", "Buffy: Goodnight.", "Eddie: Night. Buffy walks away. Eddie smiles pleasantly at her retreating form and then turns to walk in the opposite direction. He gets a few feet when he's grabbed from behind, a hand over his mouth. He looks up at his assailant and sees that his face is vamped out. He also sees two other vampires, young looking man and woman. They part to reveal a young, attractive blonde woman (Face not vamped out.) who takes a few steps toward him.", "Sunday: I'm sorry... did you lose your way?", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Night time. Dorm room, single. The door opens and the vampires enter and start gathering everything up. One sits at the desk and writes something on notebook paper, he tears it out of the book and places it on the bare mattress. Psych class is over, students are gathering their things and leaving. Buffy is looking around for Eddie.", "Oz: You looking for someone?", "Buffy: Yeah.", "Willow: You made a friend? Good for you.", "Buffy: Thanks, mom. The same single dorm room, Eddie's RA is showing Buffy the empty room.", "RA: Yeah, Eddie just took off, packed his stuff, left a note. Happens sometimes. People just can't handle it. There's always a few kids who lose it early in the first semester and just bail. Buffy crosses to the bed and picks up the note. She sits on the bed while reading it. The note says, 'This is too much to handle. I can't take it anymore. No time to say goodbye! Eddie'", "RA: Weak ones, I guess. (He leaves.) Buffy lays the note on the bedside table and notices the drawer is partly open. She opens it to reveal a paperback book. It's Eddies copy of M. Somerset Maugham's 'Of Human Bondage.' She takes it out of the drawer and looks at it intently. Indoors. A cluttered room. Eddie is lying dead. The vamps are poring through his things, FatVamp is checking out a purple sweater. Sunday is seated in a chair that is raised off the floor somewhat, making it look like a throne. She is going through Eddie's CDs, tossing them aside one by one.", "Sunday: Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, (sigh) astonishingly boring... we... we have to kill some cooler people. Will somebody remind me?", "FatVamp: (Now wearing the sweater.) You were the one who said pick on the weak ones, thin the herd and all that. Does this sweater make me look fat?", "Sunday: No, the fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.", "FatVamp: You're such a loser.", "Sunday: Hey, words can hurt like a fist.", "SpicoliVamp: Hey, check it out. (He holds up a folded poster.)", "Sunday: Well? Do we have a Klimt? (He opens it.) Yes!", "SpicoliVamp: (Carrying it over to a wall with two different styles of posters on it.) Big score for Klimt! (He staples the poster to the wall.) Monet still well in the lead, but look out for team Klimt, coming from behind. (He makes a mark on a white board under the 'Klimt' heading.)", "Sunday: Freshmen! Man, they're so predictable.", "SpicoliVamp: And you can never eat just one.", "FatVamp: Yeah, I'm hungry!", "Sunday: What a shock. We eat when I say we eat.", "FatVamp: Well, we could hit the tunnels...", "Sunday: We eat (she vamps out and roars) when I say we eat.", "FatVamp: God, lighten up.", "SpicoliVamp: I think it's funny when you scream... it's like... (he roars) whoa!", "Sunday: I got ta get me some better lackeys. I swear, you guys are useless. (she gets up and starts crossing the room) I shouldn't even take you on the hunt.", "FatVamp: Great! Why don't you let dead Eddie get your dinner.", "Sunday: That's pretty much the plan. (She walks past Eddie, who opens his eyes at that moment.) Giles' apartment. Buffy opens the door while knocking. She enters, closes the door, and walks to the middle of the room. David Bowie is playing in the background.", "Buffy: Giles? We see an attractive black woman in the kitchen through the opening over the counter.", "Olivine: Rupert, is this Bleu cheese or is it just cheese that's gone blue? (She reaches the front room and sees Buffy, she appears to be wearing a shirt and nothing else.) You're not Giles.", "Buffy: Uhm... you know the door was open, so I just... uh, Giles does still live here, right?", "Olivia: He does. Giles coughs in the background and the music cuts off.", "Olivia: He appears. (Giles comes out of the hallway. He's wearing a bathrobe.) Rupert, you have a guest.", "Giles: Buffy! Hello.", "Buffy: Is this a bad time?", "Giles: No! Oh, uh, forgive me. This, uh... this is, uh, Olivia. She's, uh, an old friend, she's staying here for a few days.", "Olivia: Couldn't pass through sunny Cal without looking up ol' Ripper.", "Buffy: Uh huh.", "Giles: Buffy's a, uh, was a student of mine. How's, uh, how is university?", "Buffy: Pretty much the same as high school, in the sense that I need help.", "Giles: Ahh... help... yes.", "Buffy: But, this just looks like a bad time.", "Olivia: No, you guys talk. I'll just go slip into something a little less comfortable. (She and Giles share a look and she leaves the room.)", "Giles: So, uh, trouble with, uh, studies?", "Buffy: This is a bad time.", "Giles: You keep saying that.", "Buffy: Well it looks pretty bad! I think someone had just a little too much free time on their hands.", "Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?", "Buffy: No! (In a whiny voice.) 'Cause you're very, very old, and it's gross.", "Giles: Well, before I succumb to the ravages of age, why don't you tell me what brings you here.", "Buffy: There's this student missing.", "Giles: Yes?", "Buffy: Eddie. He's supposed to have left school but... I just don't think he did. I met him outside last night, and then I went back where we met, and it looked there had been a struggle.", "Giles: And?", "Buffy: And we need to stop this! And Eddie's RA said kids disappear a lot. There could be a gang of vampires working the campus. We need research, an-an-and charts and stuff.", "Giles: I-I still don't see where I fit in. You haven't described anything that you can't do yourself.", "Buffy: Ok, remember before you became Hugh Hefner when you used to be a watcher?", "Giles: Officially you know longer have a watcher. Buffy, you know I'll always be hear when you need me. Y-your safety is more important to me than anything but, you're going to have to take care of yourself. You're out of school and I can't always be there to guide you.", "Buffy: I'm sorry to bug you.", "Giles: Buffy, I...", "Buffy: Oh! No! I mean yeah, you're... you're right. I can handle it. It's just that... I'm on it.", "Giles: I-I'm here if you need me. (She leaves.)", "Olivia: (Walking into the room.) She's gone?", "Giles: Yes.", "Olivia: So, did you help her?", "Giles: I'm not sure. Night time, outside. Buffy is walking along and there are students everywhere.", "Buffy: How am I supposed to hunt in this mob? Don't you people have homes? She sees a young man walking away, he looks over at her and she sees that it's Eddie.", "Buffy: Eddie? She runs after him.", "Buffy: Eddie! Eddie, hey, wait up! She catches up with him in a secluded spot next to a bulletin board.", "Buffy: God I was worried that something had happened to you... He turns around all vamped out.", "Buffy: ...and of course it has, 'cause you're a vampire. I'm sorry.", "Eddie: I'm not. He attacks. She uses his own momentum to keep him off balance and stakes him when he charges again. He disappears into dust. Behind Buffy, Sunday watches from a concrete dais.", "Sunday: Slayer! (Buffy turns and sees her.) Wow, uhm, I heard you might be coming here. (The other vamps come out of hiding and surround Buffy.) This is, I mean, what a challenge! The slayer!", "Buffy: And you are?", "Sunday: I'm... I'm Sunday, I'll be killing you here in a minute or so.", "Buffy: You know that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it.", "SpicoliVamp: Uhh... are we gonna fight? Or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?", "FatVamp: I'm in for a piece.", "Buffy: Everybody gets to play.", "Sunday: Guys, this is totally mine.", "SpicoliVamp: Ok, but you gotta share the eatin'. 'Cause I'm thinkin' slayer's blood's gotta be--Whoa!--like Thai Stick.", "Buffy: I thought people were suppose to get smarter in college?", "Sunday: Yeah, I think you had a lot of misconceptions about college. Like that anyone would be caught dead wearing that. Buffy looks down at her clothes. When she looks up, Sunday punches her. Buffy falls and Sunday tries to kick her, but Buffy blocks it and throws two punches. Sunday ducks one and blocks the other, and lands another punch, sending Buffy sprawling again. When Buffy tries to get up Sunday kicks her in the face. Buffy tries to slug her in the stomach but Sunday grabs her wrist and throws her onto the dais. Buffy tries to hit back but Sunday grabs her by the throat.", "Sunday: Don't take this the wrong way, but... (She punches her in the face again.) You fight like a girl. She throws Buffy off the dais and somersaults off. Buffy gets to her feet and kicks her in the midsection. She misses another kick to the head but lands one to Sundays face. She throws a punch but Sunday grabs her arm, swings her around and throws her onto the hood of a pickup truck parked nearby. Buffy tries to up but Sunday jumps onto the hood and kicks her in the back, sending her up onto the roof. Buffy tries a left handed punch but Sunday grabs the wrist, jumps onto the roof and brings her knee up into the arm. There is a cracking sound. She throws Buffy, who bounces off the hood onto the ground. Buffy stands up holding her left arm close to her chest. She looks at the other vamps, who are smiling, and takes off. She falls once onto the grass but gets up and runs away. Sunday hops down from the truck.", "Sunday: Freshmen!", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Buffy's dorm room, night time. Kathy is snoring again. Buffy is sitting on her bed, bruised and tending to her arm. She carefully moves it away from her chest, holding it with her other hand, and grunts in pain. Exterior of a building, day time. Buffy opens the door one handed and exits. She is still bruised. She sees Willow and Oz talking with another student and avoids them. Interior, the vamps lair. Through boarded up windows we see that it's daylight. The vamps are gathered around and laughing. Sunday is sitting on a couch.", "SpicoliVamp: N-n-n-n-no! The best part was when you ragged on her clothes. She was like, 'No! Not the ensemble!' (All the vamps laugh.)", "Sunday: Those Jeans? With the little patches? She has no one to blame but herself.", "FatVamp: I heard they're coming back.", "Sunday: Not if I kill every single person who wears them.", "FatVamp: I still think you should've let us have a piece, we could've finished here off.", "Sunday: She's not gonna last the night, she's a done deal. In fact, guys, you're gonna hit the tunnels. The Summers residence, daylight. Buffy enters through the kitchen door, still favoring her left arm.", "Buffy: Mom? She goes upstairs and Joyce, coming out into the hallway, sees her.", "Joyce: Buffy.", "Buffy: Hi.", "Joyce: Honey, how are you? (She hugs her and Buffy hugs back, one armed.)", "Buffy: I'm ok.", "Joyce: How's college? You've been fighting.", "Buffy: Oh, uh, they started it.", "Joyce: Just as long as you're being careful. I-I really didn't think you'd show up here for a while. They walk towards Buffy's room.", "Buffy: Oh, I didn't have classes today, and everything's just been so hectic I figured it'd be nice to come and crash for... They reach her room and Buffy sees that it's crammed with wooden crates.", "Joyce: Oh, well yeah. You know, I-I didn't think you'd be back for a couple of weeks. Uh, but I didn't move anything, it's still your room.", "Buffy: You filled it with packing crates.", "Joyce: Yeah, but I didn't move anything.", "Buffy: If it's still my room, shoudn't I still be able to fit in it?", "Joyce: Well it's just for a couple of weeks while we do inventory at the gallery. I just really didn't think you'd be back so soon.", "Buffy: Neither did I. Buffy is walking through the kitchen, heading out, when the phone rings. She answers it.", "Buffy: Hello? Hello? (There's nothing but silence, so she hangs up and leaves.) At the dorm, Buffy finds that all of her things are missing. She walks to the bare bed, picks up a note that's lying there and reads it. 'This is all just too much for me. I have decided to take off. Sorry I didn't have time to say goodbye but I need to be by myself. Good luck this year. Buffy' She sits on her bed holding the note. The Bronze. There's a band on stage playing a slow, sad song. Buffy enters and looks around not seeing anyone she knows. She walks over to a couch and spots a man across the room turned three quarters away from her that looks like Angel. He turns enough so that she can see his face and it isn't him.", "Xander: The whole world in front of her, and she comes back to this dive. She turns around and sees him.", "Buffy: Xander! (She gives him a one-armed hug.)", "Xander: Hey, Buff.", "Buffy: Oh, when did you get back?", "Xander: Couple days ago.", "Buffy: You freak of nature. Why didn't you call me?", "Xander: Well I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to, um, you know... help you move.", "Buffy: I missed you. How was your trip? Is America nice? I hear it's nice.", "Xander: There's some purple mountains majesty, I'm gonna have to say.", "Buffy: What'd you do? What'd you see?", "Xander: Well...", "Buffy: Tell me!", "Xander: 'Grand Canyon!'", "Buffy: You saw the Grand Canyon!", "Xander: Well, I saw the movie 'Grand Canyon,' on cable. Really lame.", "Buffy: Hunh?", "Xander: Basically, I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So, I ended up washing dishes at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club' for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. No one really bothered me or even spoke to me until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents, where everything was exactly as it was except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?", "Buffy: Male strippers?", "Xander: No power on this earth!", "Buffy: Ok. College is good.", "Xander: Ok, uh, once more with even less feeling.", "Buffy: No, really! I-I mean, Willow's in heaven and Oz has this really cool house off campus with the band. (They both sit on the couch.)", "Xander: And you're sitting here alone at the Bronze looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy.", "Buffy: It's just... there was this vampire, and she took me down, and I just... I don't know how to stop her.", "Xander: Then where's the gang? Avengers assemble! Let's get it going!", "Buffy: No, I don't want to bug them. I mean they're just starting school, and they don't need this.", "Xander: Ok Buff, what's the 'what' here?", "Buffy: It's just, what if I can't cut it?", "Xander: Can't cut what? Slaying?", "Buffy: Slaying, everything.", "Xander: Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?", "Buffy: Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now.", "Xander: The point is, you're Buffy.", "Buffy: Yeah, maybe in high school I was Buffy.", "Xander: And now in college you're Betty Louise?", "Buffy: Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. Or I might as well be. Xander gets up and crouches down in front of her.", "Xander: Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.' Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero. Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?'", "Buffy: Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?", "Xander: It's a deal. (He stands up.) Let's put this bitch in the ground! What do you say? She holds out her right hand and he helps her up.", "Buffy: I think I say thank you.", "Xander: And nothing says thank you like dollars in the waistband. Ok, what do we do first? Interior. Some type of office with a computer and file cabinets. The glass in the door is broken, Buffy's at the counter working the computer and Xander is examining newspapers at a desk.", "Buffy: Kids disappearing every year. Not too many, just enough so that everyone thinks they up and left.", "Xander: I can't believe the vampires took your stuff. Murder I expect, but petty larceny seems so... petty.", "Buffy: They have to be keeping it somewhere, on campus or at least near by.", "Xander: Hey, how far back do the disappearances go? Buffy types at the keyboard, we see she's still not using her left arm.", "Buffy: Uhh... they weren't too common before '82.", "Xander: Match number! Check this out. (He carries two newspapers over to the counter, and Buffy picks one up and reads it aloud.)", "Buffy: 'Psi Theta loses it's charter. Building to be closed for renovation.'", "Xander: 1982. Look at this. (He reads from the other paper.) 'Former Psi Theta fraternity house lies dormant while zoning issues drag on before the city council.' We have a winner.", "Buffy: Looks pretty cherry.", "Xander: You up for a little reconnaissance?", "Buffy: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?", "Xander: No, that was the renaissance.", "Buffy: Oh. I've had a really long week. Let's go look at the house. Nighttime. Exterior of a building with signs posted reading 'This Property Closed to the Public' and 'Keep Out.' Buffy and Xander arrive. Up on the roof, Buffy clears some debris from the skylight she is laying on. The vamps can be seen inside going through Buffy's things. Xander works his way to the skylight.", "Buffy: Score! Sunday is holding a skirt up to herself and mockingly shaking her hips.", "Sunday: (In a mocking voice.) Look how tough I am.", "Buffy: Oh! That's my skirt! You're never going to fit in it with those hips! We have to kill them!", "Xander: We need weapons.", "Buffy: I don't see my weapons trunk down there. It was right by my bed. Mr. Gordo? (Her voice turns to steele.) Go to my room. If it's not there try Willow's. I'll keep an eye... my diary?!?", "SpicoliVamp: Uh-oh, score!", "Xander: I'll hurry! (He works his way back from the skylight.)", "Buffy: Laugh all you want, this time we play it my way. And the rules are just going to be a little bit... (The skylight gives way and Buffy falls into the room.)", "Buffy: (Hitting the floor.) Unh! (The vamps all stop what they're doing and look at her.) Ahh. Ah. (She looks up at the vamps.) Oh.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Sunday: Say, don't I know you from... beating the crap out of you?", "Buffy: (Standing up.) I just thought I'd drop in. Get it? Drop in? Boy, tough room.", "Sunday: I must say, you've really got me now. I mean, it's a diabolical plan, throw yourself at my feet with a broken arm and no weapons of any kind. How'm I going to get out of this one?", "Buffy: You got a nice set-up here, but you made one mistake.", "Sunday: Yeah? What was that?", "Buffy: Well, I'm not actually positive, but statistically speaking people usually make at least... (Sunday punches her.)", "Kathy, Oz and Willow are in Buffy's and Kathy's dorm room.", "Kathy: It seems kind of weird. (She hands the note to Oz.)", "Oz: Yeah, weird's a pretty good word for it.", "Willow: Buffy wouldn't just take off, th-that's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed he name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances.", "Kathy: Does Buffy have a history of emotional problems? 'Cause on my request form I was pretty specific about a stable non-smoker.", "Oz: I don't think this is her handwriting.", "Willow: I bet there were circumstances! We've probably been so wrapped up in our own petty lives that... that we totally missed the circumstances. We're bad friends!", "Oz: Let's think this through.", "Willow: How can you be so calm?", "Oz: Long, arduous hours of practice. Now either Buffy took off, or she was robbed, or...", "Xander: It's a prank!", "Willow: Xander! Xander walks into the room with arms spread wide.", "Xander: How are my guys? (He hugs Willow, then hugs Kathy.) I don't know you, do I?", "Kathy: No.", "Xander: This is very intrusive, isn't it?", "Kathy: Little bit. (Xander let's her go.)", "Xander: Xander.", "Kathy: Kathy.", "Xander: (Looks at Oz.) Do we hug?", "Oz: I think we're too manly.", "Willow: What's the prank?", "Xander: Prank? Oh, the room. Well some friends of Buffy's played a funny joke, and they took her stuff. And now she wants us to help get it back from her friends who sleep all day and have no tans.", "Willow: Oh! Those friends!", "Oz: Funny guys. Xander looks around the bed.", "Xander: They took the chest. Well, let's go! Let's go to our friend. It's nice meeting you Kathy. Xander, Oz and Willow leave.", "Kathy: You too! Outside in the hall.", "Xander: Let's go to Will's, get supplies.", "Willow: Is Buffy in danger?", "Xander: She's in a holding pattern, we've got some time. Vamps lair. Buffy falls as she gets hit again. On the floor, she looks over and sees her trunk. She starts to crawl toward it. Sunday steps in front of her holding Buffy's 'Class Protector' award.", "Sunday: Oh, and this. This is my favorite item.", "Buffy: You don't want to touch that. Sunday drops it on the floor and stomps down on the handle, breaking it. She moves over to Buffy and grabs her left arm.", "Sunday: You know this arm's not looking so good. It might have to come off.", "Buffy: You want to know the truth? I only need one. She hits Sunday with a roundhouse punch with her right fist, sending her spinning. She rolls to her feet and kicks Sunday in the face and flips her over the couch onto the coffee table. She catches some broken wood from the coffee table with her foot and kicks Sunday in the face with it. Sunday falls into a pile of clutter.", "SpicoliVamp: This is startin' to suck. Sunday gets up all vamped out. FatVamp runs in to help. Buffy grabs a tennis racket, steps onto the arm of a chair and roundhouse kicks Sunday and does a backhand swing with the racket into FatVamp's face, sending her flying over the couch and braking the frame off the racket making a perfect stake. Sunday moves in for some close-in fighting. A vamp (no doubt frightened by the sight of a vampire slayer with a stake) decides it's time to leave and moves toward the door, which opens with Xander in the lead and Oz behind him brandishing a cross in the vamp's face. They force the vamp back. SpicoliVamp sees Willow struggling with a crossbow and rushes her. Willow gets the crossbow up just in time and shoots the bolt through SpicoliVamp's heart. SpicoliVamp turns to dust, but before he's gone he says one last thing.", "SpicoliVamp: Woah! Sunday is lying on the floor with Buffy standing above her. Buffy: When you look back at this, in the three seconds it'll take you to turn to dust, (FatVamp decides it's a good time to leave and runs out.) I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff. Sunday gets to her feet and rushes Buffy, who swings one-armed at her which Sunday blocks, eventually catching the arm in a hold.", "Sunday: What about breaking your arm, (She grabs at Buffy's left arm) how'd that feel.", "Buffy: Let me answer that with a head butt. (She does and sends Sunday staggering.) Xander faces off with a vamp. Oz, behind the vamp, hits him on the head with a cross, then ducks down. When the vamp turns, Xander pushes him over Oz who straightens up and flips the vamp onto his back. Xander moves in for the kill and stakes him. He turns to dust.", "Buffy: And for the record, (Buffy makes a fist with her left hand.) the arm is hurt, (She uppercuts Sunday, sending her flying.) not broken. Another vamp, wearing a black tee shirt with a skull on it, takes off. Besides Sunday, there are no more vamps left in the house. The gang comes up behind Buffy.", "Oz: Hey, Buff. Need a hand?", "Buffy: (Brandishing a stake with a twirl.) No thanks, (She twists around throwing the stake into Sunday's heart.) I'm good. Sunday shakes her head and puts her hands on her hips as she turns to dust. Buffy goes over and retrieves her 'Class Protector' award. The gang leaves the house carrying Buffy's stuff in boxes, Xander carrying her trunk.", "Xander: So, all that other stuff in there? That's just gonna sit in there, right? Uh, I mean, no one owns it in the strictest sense.", "Oz: It seems wrong, somehow.", "Xander: Dibs on the rowing machine.", "Giles: Buffy! Giles runs up carrying a crossbow in one hand and in his other he has a cross and a battle axe.", "Willow: Hi, Giles.", "Xander: What's with the arsenal?", "Giles: I've been awake all night. I know I'm supposed to teach you self-reliance, but I can't leave you out there to fight alone. To hell with what's right, I'm ready to back you up. Let's find the evil a-and fight it together.", "Buffy: Great! Thanks! We'll get right on that. They step around him and continue on their way.", "Giles: The evil is this way? (He follows.)", "Buffy: My room is.", "Willow: Hey Giles, could you get this box on top? (He does.)", "Xander: So, college not so scary after all, hunh?", "Buffy: It's turning out to be a lot like high school, which I can handle. At least I know what to expect. Elsewhere. The vamp with the skull on his tee shirt is sneaking from tree to tree. He starts across a clear spot when he hears something and turns. Two darts from a tazer hit the skull design right above the eye sockets. The vamp convulses and goes down, but still conscious. From cover, three figures in camouflage clothing and masked faces step forward. One has a coil of rope, another has a pistol and the third has a rifle. They advance on the vamp.", "[Ending credits]" ]

[ "Spike returns to Sunnydale for a gem that will make him invincible. He finds it, but Buffy gets it away from him and decides to send it to Angel. Buffy returns to dating but ends up being let down and hurt." ]

[ "This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to the Bronze. Oz is onstage with Dingoes Ate My Baby. (Four Star Mary) Pan over to where Buffy and Willow are sitting at a table chatting.", "Willow : Hey look. Parker's here. You're not looking? He looks really cute in green.", "Buffy : Teal. He's reflected in the mirror.", "Round security mirror shows Parker shooting pool.", "Willow : You know when you spend all week with a boy you are allowed to look at him directly.", "Buffy : Not all week. We hung out. Moderately incessantly. But we're not here together tonight. You know, I don't want to crowd him. Willow nods. Cut to Oz taking off his guitar and leaving the stage as the crowd applauses. He walks over to Buffy and Willow's table.", "Oz : Hey. You guys ready to load up and go?", "Willow : Almost. Buffy's looking at Parker. (Cut to round mirror again where Parker is still reflected playing pool.) Who it turns out has a reflection, so big plus there. Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings.", "Buffy : No I'm not.", "Willow : No, you're not.", "Buffy : Oh, I so am.", "Willow : No, uh, they're not wrong feelings cause you're free, you're both grown-ups. You are free, right? Parker walks over and puts his hand on Buffy's shoulder.", "Parker : Hi.", "Buffy : Hi.", "Parker : I just wanted to let you know I'm headed out. And it's not real safe here, so if you want to walk back to your dorm.", "Buffy : How silly of me not to have planned ahead. Willow smiles and Buffy gets her jacket and stands up to leave with Parker.", "Willow : Bye.", "Parker : See you guys. Buffy and Parker have left leaving Willow and Oz at the table. Buffy turns back and smiles at Willow, who nods, happy for her friend. Cut to the back lot at the Bronze. Willow, Oz and another member of Dingoes Ate My Baby, Devon, are taking equipment out to Oz's van.", "Devon : That was like the best set ever. We'll do great in LA. We're gonna have them glued to their seats.", "Willow : Uh, Devon. Aren't they supposed to dance?", "Oz : Well, we can glue them to the dance floor. Oz and Devon head back into the Bronze leaving Willow outside.", "Devon : I didn't mean with real glue. You got that right? Willow is sliding a case into the van as she hears a voice, and turns.", "Harmony : Willow, hi.", "Willow : Harmony, hey. I haven't seen you since -", "Harmony : Since graduation. Big snake huh?", "Willow : Yeah. So, how was your summer vacation?", "Harmony : Well I was gonna go to France. But I didn't. I was dying to see the stores.", "Willow : Yeah, and the museums.", "Harmony : Museums?", "Willow : Yeah, I heard they have them. You know, just a rumor you pick up on the streets. They laugh.", "Harmony : You were always so funny Willow. You haven't changed a bit.", "Willow : No, you neither.", "Harmony : Oh, maybe a little. Vamps out and grabs Willow and begins to feed.", "[Opening credits]", "Oz appears with a mic stand shoving her out of the way, then brandishes a cross.", "Willow : Back off Harmony.", "Harmony : Okay, fine. Hide behind your boyfriend. But I have a boyfriend too. And he's gonna be mad that you were mean to me. She runs off and Willow and Oz relax. Cut to Parker and Buffy walking along the street.", "Parker : Uh, hobbies. Interests. I feel like there's so much I don't know about you. What do you like to do?", "Buffy : Mostly I hang out. And do ... stuff.", "Parker : Yeah, I was into that for a while. Hey, what's that.", "Buffy : What's what? Parker pushes aside the collar of her jacket to reveal the scar from when Angel fed on her.", "Parker : You have a scar.", "Buffy : Yeah ... right ... angry puppy. So, I get to see any of your scars?", "Parker : Oh, mine are all psychological.", "Buffy : Please, those are the best kind.", "Parker : Well my father died last year.", "Buffy : Oh, God. Parker, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up, that stuff. Oh, bad, bad Buffy.", "Parker : No, I'm okay to talk about it now. And I'm not doing to deep, get sympathy routine. I mean don't you just hate guys that are all 'I'm dark and brooding so give me love?'", "Buffy : I don't think I've ever met that type. They sit on a bench.", "Parker : I just wanted to say that it was so sad cause there was well, a lot of stuff that he didn't finish. It make me think about, you know, living for now.", "Buffy : I think about that sometimes. I sort of drowned a couple years ago. But I came back. Obviously. But I don't, I don't put stuff off anymore. Like you were saying.", "Parker : That's great. I mean, everybody says they get it. 'Oh, man. Me too. Live for today.' But what they really what is a reason to goof off. Not study for finals.", "Buffy : Also a valid life choice.", "Parker : It's cool to find someone else who understands.", "Buffy : So Parker Abrams. When you go to sleep tonight, what are you going to regret not doing today?", "Parker : I'm going to regret ... being too nervous to ask you to go to the party at Wolfhouse tomorrow night. Do you want to go to the party -", "Buffy : Yes.", "Cut to Giles apartment where Xander is attempting to shelve Giles books.", "Xander : I am not enjoying this.", "Giles : Well shelve them correctly and we can finish.", "Xander : I don't get your crazy system.", "Giles : System? It's called the alphabet. Giles grabs a book and puts it in it's correct place.", "Xander : Huh. Would you look at that. Anya walks in and Giles walks over to where she is.", "Anya : You should lock your door.", "Giles : Believe me, I'm kicking myself. Gets a look from Anya. Xander walks over surprised.", "Xander : Anya? Last time I saw you fleeing in terror. So how'd that work out for you?", "Anya : I need to talk to Xander. (Gets a nod from Giles. She glares at him.) Go away. (She smiles at Xander and grabs his hand, leading him out the door.) Xander come with me. Xander tosses a look back at Giles, then follows, shutting the door behind him.", "Anya : Your mother said you were working here.", "Xander : Yeah I need some money.", "Anya : (Abruptly) Where is our relationship going?", "Xander : Our what? Our who?", "Anya : (Matter of faculty.) Relationship. What kind do we have. And what is it progressing toward?", "Xander : I ... Uh ... We have a relationship?", "Anya : Yeah. We went to the prom.", "Xander : Yeah, On our one and only date. Second date called on account of snake, remember? And the whole, you used to be a man killing demon thing. Which to be fair, is as much my issue as it is yours.", "Anya : I can't stop thinking about you. Sometimes in my dreams, you're all naked. Steps towards him, eyes widening.", "Xander : Really. You know if I'm in the checkout line at the Wal-Mart I've had the same one.", "Anya : So I can assume a standing Friday night date and a mutual recognition as Prom night as our dating anniversary.", "Xander : Anya. Slow down there. In fact, come to a screeching halt. See these things kind of have to develop on their own.", "Anya : Okay. How?", "Xander : I don't know. I just - happens.", "Cut to Buffy and Parker standing at her door in the hall of the dorm.", "Buffy : This is it. The door. Wood. (She knocks on it.) Maybe some kind of wood veneer.", "Parker : It's nice. He leans in to kiss her and their lips just touch as Oz and Willow come running down the hall. Buffy and Parker cease and desist due to the racket.", "Oz : Hey. Hi, hi. Remember Harmony.", "Willow : She's back from her summer vacation. And she's a little bit different.", "Buffy : Different?", "Willow : Paler.", "Parker : (Noticing how Willow is holding her hand over where Harmony bit her.) Is your neck okay?", "Buffy : Neck. Paler. The puppy. The angry puppy.", "Oz : Yeah, we came to warn you about the - angry puppy.", "Buffy : I um, should really take care of this now.", "Parker : I'll pick you up tomorrow night for the party.", "Buffy : I can't wait. He leaves.", "Willow : (In a small voice.) Get in now? Buffy quickly unlocks the door leading Oz and Willow into the room. Cut to Oz cleaning Willow's wound carefully. Buffy walks over to them.", "Buffy : Harmony. A vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.", "Willow : (Sporting a neon green Band-Aid.) She just made me so mad. (Contorting her face to mock Harmony.) 'My boyfriends gonna beat you up.'", "Buffy : 'My boyfriend.'", "Willow : Well, if you believe her. She always lied about stuff like that. (More face contortion.) 'Oh, he goes to another school. You wouldn't know him.'", "Oz : Well, Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him. Which, stop and marvel at the concept. Oz and Willow laugh. Buffy shakes her head.", "Buffy : Guy dating Harmony dead. Must be like, the most tolerant guy in the world.", "Cut to underground crypt as Harmony descends into it. She walks over to a man wearing all black and protective head gear for drilling. She puts her hand on his back to draw his attention.", "Harmony : Hi baby. I'm back. The man clad in black removes the gear revealing Spike.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Descend from ground level back underground. Spike and another vampire are discussing papers strewn over a table.", "Spike : It's definitely the crypt right. I'm not keen on tunneling into someone's septic tank.", "Vampire : It's the crypt. The radar soundings are clear. The walls are thinnest here at the bottom. We'll have to tunnel underneath. More work but I'm sure - Spike slams his head into the table then looks down at him.", "Spike : You'd better be more than sure. Cause I'd hate to have to hurt you.", "Vampire : I swear, I swear. Harmony walks up and snuggles against Spike.", "Harmony : How's my little Blondie bear?", "Spike : Harm, does this look like a good time?", "Harmony : Are you gonna kill Willow tonight? Cause I want you to say, 'This is for messing with my sweet girl.' And then, you know. (She mock bites into his shoulder making grossly noises.) He throws the vampire aside then takes Harmony by the waist.", "Spike : Nobody knows I'm here. And I'm not killing the slayer's best friend because that would tend to announce my presence. (Harmony gives him an annoyed, put out look.) And we're too bloody close.", "Harmony : But you almost killed her last year. Suddenly it's a big deal.?", "Spike : SOD OFF! Now go eat something, I've got work to do. Spike and the vampire return to the table. She walks over to wear a boy is chained up and looks irritated.", "Harmony : This one tastes funny. Take me out to eat.", "Spike : He's perfectly fresh.", "Harmony : I think I had a math class with him last year and I didn't like him that much then either.", "Spike : Harm!", "Harmony : I want to go to a party. Spike slams his fists into the table, then heads over to where she is. He grabs her and slams her into the wall. She smiles coyly at him.", "Harmony : Oh. Right here baby. In front of Bernie.", "Spike : You'd like that wouldn't you.", "Harmony : Maybe I would. After a party.", "Spike : Tonight. I'll take you somewhere nice.", "Cut to the frat party. Bif Naked is performing on stage and people are dancing. Buffy and Parker walk around.", "Parker : Some party huh? Last day in Rome.", "Buffy : Better. No old Romans.", "Parker : You want to dance?", "Buffy : No. Let's have a meaningful talk instead. Harmony and Spike walk up with an out of it guy under their arms.", "Buffy : Spike. (Pauses looking amused.) And Harmony.", "Harmony : Buffy. Hi. What a cute outfit. Last year.", "Spike : Well this is interesting. Sort of a double date.", "Parker : Looks like your friend started the party a little early, huh?", "Spike : So, let's have a look at the new boy.", "Parker : (Holds out his hand.) Hi, I'm Parker. Spike looks at it in fascination for a second, then Parker puts his hand down disconcerted.", "Spike : He's got. What's the word? Vulnerability.", "Buffy : And you with Harmony. What'd you do? Loose a bet? Harmony looks irritated.", "Harmony : Hey.", "Spike : Actually, how we met. It's a funny story. He throws the boy into Harmony and the others, then leaps over the couch taking off.", "Buffy : Stay here. She runs after him outside, then runs into him by some shrubbery. He back hand punches her in the face then gets into a defensive stance.", "Buffy : What's the matter Spike? Dru dump you again. She throws a punch, then another, both of which he blocks. Then she hits him dead on in the face.", "Spike : Maybe I left her. Buffy goes to attack, but Spike diverts her to the left. Harmony appears.", "Harmony : She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days. Spike strides up to her.", "Spike : Harm! We are going. It isn't time yet.", "Harmony : Yeah, but as soon as we have the gem of amara, you're gonna be sorr-", "Spike : Argh! He grabs her and takes off.", "Harmony : What? Ow! Buffy stands with her stake, then lowers it, thinking about what Harmony just let out.", "Cut to Xander's room in his parents' basement. He's hanging up a mirrorball. There's a knock at the door.", "Xander : Come in. Anya enters slowly.", "Xander : Anya. Hi again.", "Anya : You're mother sent me around from the front of the house. She said to ask you to add fabric softener when the timer goes off. Can we talk some more?", "Xander : Yeah I suppose. Would you like something? I have cran-apple?", "Anya : Yeah, alright. He heads over to the fridge and rummages around a bit.", "Xander : You know it is customary to call before you show up. Not that - During this Anya has removed her dress. As Xander realized what he's seeing cran-apple arcs out of the container, he stands there, gaping at her.", "Cut to Buffy standing at a pay phone. As she talks we cut to Giles apartment where he is on the other end of the phone.", "Buffy : Yeah, Spike with Harmony. If you can believe it. I couldn't figure out why he ran away but Harmony said something. Why they were here. They were looking for the gem of something... Amara.", "Giles : The gem of amara. Are you sure?", "Buffy : Yeah, what's up?", "Buffy : Uh, oh, it's just, uh, it's not real. He heads over to boxes where books are being stored.", "Giles : It's uh, the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail. The source of some enormous power, was convienetly vague. Oh, here it is, yes. There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating it during the, uh, oh the 10th century. Questing vampires combed the earth, but no one ever found anything.. It was concluded that it never existed.", "Cut to Buffy.", "Buffy : Well, Spike seems to think it exists. And he's looking in Sunnydale.", "Giles : Yes, well I'll research it as best I can. You've done all you can for tonight. Why don't you go to bed.", "Buffy : Uh, huh. Sleepy. Yawn. Bye. Cut the Harmony and Spike's bedroom. Spike is trying to read something, Harmony is laying on the bed in lingerie.", "Harmony : Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?", "Spike : No.", "Harmony : Can I make him a vampire?", "Spike : No. On second thought, yes. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.", "Harmony : Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool. Hey, can we eat a doctor so we can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?", "Spike : Harm. Will you shut the hell up?! He jumps to his feet, furious. Harmony just giggles.", "Harmony : And if my hearts no beating, what are these blue veins for. I'm simply covered in these blue veins. She runs her fingers over her cheats drawing attention to her cleavage.", "Harmony : See. Spike gets a look and climbs into bed with her. They nuzzle.", "Spike : I've got an extra set of chains.", "Harmony : Just because Dorkus went in for that - Spike grabs her hair and pulls her head back.", "Spike : Dru-scilla. Say her name.", "Harmony : Dorkus.", "Spike : Bite your tongue.", "Harmony : Do it for me. Steamy kissing. Cut to Xander and Anya. She's still naked, he's still stunned.", "Anya : At point the matter is brought to a conclusion with both parties satisfied and able to move on with their separate lives and interests. To sum up, I think it's a workable plan.", "Xander : So, the crux of this plan is -", "Anya : Sexual intercourse. I've said it like a dozen times.", "Xander : Uh, huh. Just working through a little hysterical deafness here.", "Anya : I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me figuratively. I'm thinking face to face for the actual event itself.", "Xander : Ah, right. It's just we hardly know each other. I mean I like you. And you have a certain directness that I admire. But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences.", "Anya : Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.", "Xander : That's... that's very considerate.", "Anya : I like you. You're funny, and you're nicely shaped. And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.", "Xander : And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith. Anya moves towards him and they kiss. The buzzer for the dryer goes off.", "Anya : Fabric softener.", "Cut to the party. Buffy finds Parker.", "Buffy : Parker. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find you.", "Parker : I was getting a little worried.", "Buffy : I'm so sorry. It's just that - the English guy is an old friend. And he's not supposed to drink. And I saw him here in the land of the beer -", "Parker : It's okay. You did a good thing for your friend. Did uh, you and he used to go out. Short burst of hysterical laughter from Buffy. She stops abruptly.", "Buffy : Um, no. No we really, really didn't.", "Parker : Good. Now we have time to make up for. Think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party.", "Buffy : What am I supposed to do? Stand over here and watch? They dance, in a rather close intense way. (Lucky ones by Bif Naked plays in the background. - On the BTVS Soundtrack!)", "Parker : Well, I declared premed. But I hated it. So I switched to history.", "Buffy : History? Fascinating dates and compelling faces.", "Parker : But there something amazing about these huge events that when you dig down into them they're just about regular people trying to make choices. When you look back at it seems like people were swept up in events they couldn't control. But I don't believe that. I believe you have a choice in everything you do. They kiss.", "Parker : Is this okay? Because I can stop if you wanna. It's your choice. (She pulls his close and strokes his face.) What are you doing?", "Buffy : Making a choice. They kiss again. Cut to them kissing in Parker's room and shedding clothing. Cut to Giles looking through his books and calling someone. The phone rings and he gets Buffy and Willow's answering machine.", "Giles : Buffy are you there? Call me, I need to talk to you right away.", "Cut to Buffy and Parker getting to know each other in a biblical sense. He has red sheets.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to Parker's room. Buffy wakes up alone and without knowing where her clothing are.", "Buffy : Parker?", "She wraps the sheet around her and gets up looking through his messy room for her discarded clothing.", "Buffy : Just shirt. Pants. Everybody needs pants. Parker walks in bearing coffee, and Buffy turns around.", "Parker : Hey, you're up.", "Buffy : You're here.", "Parker : I live here.", "Buffy : Oh, I just, didn't know where you were. He sits on the bed, Buffy standing near him.", "Parker : It looked like you were going to be out for a while. So I ran for coffee. Better than what I got around here. Warm soda and breath mints.", "Buffy : Breath mints. Wouldn't be turning them down right now. So, do you have any plans for today?", "Parker : Actually my mom's coming to visit.", "Buffy : Oh, well I'll just clear out then. But maybe we could um, talk or something later.", "Parker : Absolutely, I'll give you a call.", "Buffy : Great. Oh, uh, one more thing before I go.", "Parker : A kiss.", "Buffy : Well I was going to go with pants, but a kiss is good too. They kiss.", "Cut to Xander and Anya redressing themselves in his room.", "Anya : So, I'm over you now.", "Xander : Um, Ok.", "Anya : Okay?!", "Xander : Yeah... Anya stalks off upset, leaving a very confused Xander behind.", "Cut to Harmony and Spike laying in their bed. She's drawing on him with lipstick. He looks out of it.", "Spike : Harm, what are you doing.", "Harmony : I'm writing Spike loves Harmony on your back.", "Spike : Why?", "Harmony : I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me.", "Spike : I've got to get back to work. He gets up.", "Harmony : You love that tunnel more than me.", "Spike : I love syphilis more than you.", "Cut to Buffy walking into her dorm room. She starts to undo the straps on the back of her shirt to take it off as she heads towards her bed.", "Giles : Oh, good morning. Buffy sees Giles and Willow at work at Willow's computer. She abruptly stops then starts to redo her top.", "Buffy : Giles, I didn't know you were here.", "Giles : Uh really.", "Buffy : I was studying at the library. All Saturday night. (Giles gives her a look.) Uh, you know what. I'm an adult now and it's none of your business what I do.", "Giles : I'm sincerely relieved to hear that. Now can we discuss the impending disaster.", "Willow : Giles found something.", "Giles : A text. It refers to the gem of amara as residing in the valley of the sun.", "Willow : Demon fancy talk for Sunnydale.", "Giles : It seems that Spike may know what it's about. The gem may exist after all, in Sunnydale in a sealed underground crypt.", "Buffy : Why don't you guys try and locate the crypt and I'll try to find Spike before he gets there.", "Giles : I'll get started.", "Willow : I'll go call Xander and have him meet at your place.", "Giles : (As he leaves) Right. Willow turns looking excited.", "Willow : It happened right? (Bounds over to the bed where Buffy is sitting.) Did it happen? With Parker?", "Buffy : Yeah, it happened.", "Willow : Well, and details. I mean not details. I don't need a diagram. But, you know. Like maybe a blurry watercolor.", "Buffy : It was nice. It was really nice. He's going to call.", "Willow : I love this part. Don't you love this part. Like when it's all new and everything's a discovery.", "Buffy : I don't know. I guess I do.", "Cut to underground where Spike, Harmony and the vampire are still looking for the crypt.", "Spike : It's here.", "Vampire : I knew it was here.", "Spike : We're close now. No one leaves the layer till we're in. I don't want the slayer tracking anyone to the tunnel. And that means you too Harmony. You're an indoor kitty now.", "Harmony : But Spike, you said you'd take me places. You said we'd go to France and now I can't even leave the lair. He throws down his shovel as the other vampires depart.", "Spike : Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything I came back to Sunnydale for, which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass. Now, when I have the gem, they'll all die, don't worry. But until then, stay inside. And by the way, I would be insanely happy if I heard bugger all, about sodding France.", "Harmony : I don't know why I let you be so mean to me.", "Spike : Love hurts baby.", "Cut to Buffy going through the campus showing people Harmony's high school picture from her yearbook. Cut to her dorm. The answering machine shows 0 messages. Cut to Spike he's where he's drilling at the tunnel. Cut to Buffy at night at a pay phone.", "Phone : You've got one new message at 9:05 p.m. Hi, It's me. I'm at Giles. Did Parker call yet?", "Cut to Spike drilling again, this time he breaks through. Cut to answering machine showing 0 messages again. Buffy looking upset lets herself fall on her bed to the side. Cut to Spike climbing into the crypt with a lantern. He looks around and sees a large green gem in an ornate necklace around the neck of a skeleton.", "Spike : It's real.", "Harmony : Ooh, pretty. Can I take stuff? Harmony has followed Spike into the crypt and is also holding a lantern.", "Spike : Take whatever you want I don't care. She walks over and kisses him. He strokes the gem and yanks it off the skeleton. Harmony is trying on a tiara.", "Harmony : Eww. Like you're too good to work a clasp. He puts on the necklace. And does things with his hands, feeling all powerful.", "Harmony : So is it doing it? Do you feel it. I mean, you don't look different, if you were wondering. I thought maybe you'd look taller or glow or something. Hmm. She goes back to playing with the jewels. He strides over and grabs a cross, burning his hand, crying out in pain.", "Harmony : You should put some butter on that. But, hey, maybe it's worth money, anyway. That would be something. (Spike strides away, breaking off a piece of wood.) Then we could go to France, I always wanted to go to France and stay in a chateau and you could take me shopping - She cuts off as he stabs her with the improvisational stake. To their surprise, she doesn't dust, but the wound heals immediately.", "Harmony : I can't believe you just did that. She starts pummeling him with girlie punches to his cheats. He grabs her hand and notices a ring she's put on.", "Spike : Hold on. He grabs a cross and pushes it against her, shielding has hand with a cloth, noting that she isn't burnt.", "Harmony : What are you doing you big freak?", "Spike : That's my gem. He grabs her and starts to yank it off.", "Harmony : Fine if that's all that matters to you. (She rips the gem off her hand and throws it at him and he catches.) Then take it, take it, take it and get out. Spike puts it on and strides off.", "Spike : That's a good idea. I think I'll go wait outside. He hops down the hole, leaving Harmony looking miserable.", "Cut to Giles apartment were Oz is sifting through some of Giles old records. Giles is trying to study something.", "Oz : Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums or I'm moving in.", "Giles : Oz there are more important things than records right now.", "Oz : (Holding up a record.) More important than this one?", "Giles : Well I suppose an argument could be made for -", "Xander : Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV. He's shallow like us.", "Oz : I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed.", "Giles : I, ah, uh, uh.", "Willow : (Walking in.) Well maybe it doesn't work. Like a piece of art. Xander turns the TV on. Willow is open mouthed with shock.", "Giles : Public television. Come on everyone we have vital work to do. Watching television is not going to help us right now.", "TV : - near the UC Sunnydale campus. Officials attribute the unusual occurrence to weakening of the supporting topsoil nearby. City work crews denied any tunneling has been done in the area.", "Giles : Tunneling. Spike. Xander, find Buffy and meet us there. Giles and the gang leave, Xander watches the TV for a second more then gets up to leave. Cut to Buffy walking along the campus, were she spies Parker talking to a young blonde twinkie.", "Parker : You know it hit me hard, my dad. Since then I just don't put stuff off anymore. It's about living for now. Buffy walks over to them.", "Buffy : Parker?", "Parker : Buffy. Buffy Summers, this is Katie Loomis. (Katie waves.)", "Buffy : What's going on?", "Parker : Hey, Katie, you're going to be late for class. I'll catch up later, okay. He picks up her bag and hands it to her as she leaves.", "Buffy : She's a friend of yours.", "Parker : Yeah, you'd like her a bunch. So, what's up?", "Buffy : Well, um you didn't call. I'd, uh I understand if you were busy or sick or something.", "Parker : It's only been a few days. You need to talk to me about something.", "Buffy : Is everything okay?", "Parker : Sure it is.", "Buffy : It is?", "Parker : Sure. Buffy; Oh, um, so maybe do you wanna do something.", "Parker : Sure, we could do that absolutely.", "Buffy : So what about tonight.", "Parker : Oh... Uh... I think I'm supposed to get together with some people later ...", "Buffy : Parker did I do something wrong?", "Parker : Something wrong? No, of course not. It was fun didn't you have fun. Watch out how you answer that. My ego is fragile.", "Buffy : You had fun? Was that all it was?", "Parker : What else was it supposed to be?", "Buffy : It seemed like you liked me.", "Parker : I do. But I'm starting to feel like you felt what? Some kind of commitment? Are you sure that's what you want right now?", "Buffy : I just thought...", "Parker : I'm sorry if you missed something. I thought things were pretty clear.", "Buffy : I'm sorry if I miss. I'm sorry.", "Parker : Look, I really have to go now. He walks off leaving Buffy looking dejected.", "Buffy : Parker wait. I did this all wrong.", "Parker : No, it's cool. We'll hook up later.", "Spike : Wow. That was pathetic. He punches her in the face.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Buffy is on the ground looking up, while Spike stands above her in a beam of sunlight.", "Spike : Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beaming down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting, I can't wait to see if I freckle. Buffy grabs her stake and jumps up. She lands a punch, then he punches her back and she hits the ground. He goes to jump on her and she kicks him back. He staggers, but jumps forward again, right into her stake.", "Spike : Oh, do it again. It tickels. You know, in a good way. Buffy withdraws the stake and he heals, while she looks somewhat surprised.", "Spike : The gem of amara. He holds up his hand, then backhands her whereupon she hits the ground again.", "Spike : Official sponsor, of my killing you. He vamps out then goes in for the kill. Cut to the underground crypt. Giles and Oz are hefting Willow up through the hole. Harmony is crying.", "Harmony : Being a vampire sucks. She vamps out, then jumps up to attack with a fierce growl. Cut to Xander, knocking anxiously on Buffy and Willow's door.", "Xander : Buffy. (Knocks again.) Buffy. He turns away and runs into Anya.", "Anya : Xander. I was looking for you. You weren't in your musty basement.", "Xander : Have you seen Buffy.", "Anya : No. About what happened. I said I was over you -", "Xander : Anya, I don't have time. He cuts her off, then takes off running. She's left looking dejected. Cut to the crypt.", "Giles : Harmony, where's Spike? Has he had the gem. Harmony nods.", "Harmony : He staked me, then he took it. He tried to take it right off my finger. Like I wouldn't have just given it to him. I would have given him anything he wanted. He was my platinum baby and I loved him.", "Giles : Where did Spike go? Harmony, leaves, descending through the hole. Cut to Buffy and Spike fighting. Buffy is on her knees blocking a punch from Spike. He redirects her into a pole, then kicks her in the stomach. She gets up and tries to kick him but he blocks her and throws her into the pole again. He's pressing her against it, then she grabs him by the throat and begins to choke him, then throws him off her. Buffy kicks him in the stomach, which sends him spinning to the ground. He leaps back up and tries a spinning kick which she blocks, then kicks him with a roundhouse, then another, followed by redirecting him over a bench, sending him rolling. She jumps up on the bench and tries to kick him in the chest, but he blocks her, grabs her arm and throws her into a metal frame table, who's glass top shatters under her. She rolls off and Spike strolls after her.", "Spike : Getting tired Slayer? Buffy gets up, only to be hit with a series of punches and floored again. In the background, we see Xander running up.", "Buffy : Xander, get out of here. Spike grabs him, knees him in the face, and sends him flying into the pole from hell.", "Spike : So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you know each other that well. What did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?", "Buffy : You're a pig Spike. He jumps from the few stairs he was above her, then kicks her full on.", "Spike : Did he play the sensitive lad and get you to seduce him? That's a good trick if the girls thick enough to buy it. Buffy flies up and delivers a roundhouse, however Spike follows it with an equally vicious hit that sends her flying forward.", "Spike : I wonder what went wrong. Were you too strong? Did you bruise the boy? Come to think of it seems like someone told me that. Who was it? Oh, yeah. Angel. He smiles cruelly, and Buffy is up in an instant. She throws a round house, then a punch, then another and another. She redirects him over the edge of a planter, jumps on it and while coming down kicks him, sending him flying into another planter knocking over a earthenware pot. She grabs him, punching him twice in the face, then grabs the arm with the ring on it.", "Spike : Take it off me this way, we both burn.", "Buffy : Really? Let's see. She jerks the ring off his finger and his face instantly contorts into a visage of pain. He starts to smoke then runs off crying out in agony. Buffy, exhausted sits down inspecting the ring. Cut to a close up of the ring on a wooden table.", "Willow : I like it.", "Oz : It's small.", "Xander : Really worth getting my ribs bashed in. We see that the Scooby gang is collected at Giles apartment, gathered round the ring, which is set in the middle of his coffee table.", "Giles : It's also very dangerous. And we're destroying it.", "Buffy : We don't destroy it.", "Giles : Well, Buffy, any vampire that gets his hand on this is going to be essentially unlikable. (He looks at Buffy for a moment.) Oh.", "Oz : I have that gig in LA. I could swing by.", "Buffy : Thanks Oz.", "Xander : What's going on. What's in LA?", "Willow : She's giving the ring to Angel. Don't make a fuss.", "Giles : Buffy are you sure.", "Buffy : He should have it.", "Cut to Buffy and Willow walking through the campus late at night.", "Buffy : So what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil. God, I'm such a fool.", "Willow : Well maybe you made a mistake. But that's okay. Next time - what?", "Buffy : Parker said it's okay to make mistakes. It was sweet.", "Willow : No it wasn't. He was saying that so you would take a chance and sleep with him. He's a poop head.", "Buffy : You're right. He's manipulative and shallow. And why doesn't he want me. Am I repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me you would tell me, right?", "Willow : I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second.", "Buffy : Maybe Parker and I could still work it out. Do you think we could still work it out?", "Willow : I think you're missing something about this whole poop head principal.", "Buffy : I think I'm gonna take a walk. You go on ahead.", "Willow : You sure?", "Buffy : Yeah. She heads off leaving Willow behind. She walks along alone, then we see both Anya and Harmony, all looking downtrodden walking along.", "BLACK OUT" ]

[ "The gang find themselves in a real-life house of horrors while at a Halloween frat party, in which a fear demon feeds on their individual fears. Meanwhile, Anya needs Giles to help her save Xander when she realizes something is amiss." ]

[ "[PREVIOUSLY_ON]", "Buffy: \"Parker, did I do something wrong?\"", "Parker: \"Didn't you have fun?\"", "Buffy: \"Is that all it was?\"", "Parker: \"What else was it supposed to be?\"", "Buffy: \"He's manipulative and shallow, and why doesn't he want me?\"", "Willow: \"I think you're missing something about the whole poop-head principle.\"", "Xander: \"Hi again.\" Anya drops her dress and Xander squeezes the juice box. Xander and Anya getting dressed.", "Xander(voice over): \"So, college not so scary after all, huh?\" Three masked commando guys with weapons drawn walking up to a vamp laying on the ground.", "Buffy (voice over): \"It's turning out a lot like high school, which I can handle.\" Xander in his basement with a knife in his hand.", "Xander: \"I don't know, I was going for ferocious, scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic.\"", "Willow: \"It does appear to be mocking you with its eye holes.\"", "Oz: \"The nose hole seems sad and full of self-loathing.\" Xander turns the jack-o-lantern around to show to Buffy who's laying on his bed: \"What do you think, Buff?\"", "Buffy: \"I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun - happily entwined with others, then someone comes along, cuts you open and - rips your guts out.\"", "Xander: \"Okay, and on that happy note, I've got a treat for tomorrow nights second annual Halloween screening. People - prepare to have your spines tingled, your gooses bumped by the terrifying (Pulls out a video and reads the title) Fantasia. Fantasia?\"", "Oz: \"Maybe it's because of all the - horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to.\"", "Xander: \"Phantasm. It was supposed to be 'Phantasm\". Stupid video store!\"", "Willow: \"I thought we were doing the alph delt thing.\"", "Xander: \"What thing?\"", "Buffy: \"The scary house? Sounds kinda lame.\"", "Oz: \"It actually borders on fun. You have to go through the scary house maze to get to the party. Which is usually worth getting to. Those guys go all out.\"", "Willow: \"As witnessed last Friday.\"", "Oz: \"Very true.\"", "Xander: \"There is a party?\"", "Willow: \"We didn't tell you?\"", "Xander: \"No, it's cool. You guys got your little college thing. I'm fine. I mean, I got better things to do than tag along to some Fraternity.\"", "Willow: \"You can come.\"", "Xander: \"Okay. But only because I lied about having better things to do.\"", "Oz: \"A blast will be had by all.\"", "Buffy gets up: \"I'm gonna get going.\"", "Xander: \"Now? Tonight's still...(Looks at his watch) okay, it's a little mature, but still.\"", "Buffy: \"I'm sleepy. You guys have fun.\"", "Willow: \"You want me to come with?\"", "Buffy leaves: \"No I'm fine.\"", "Xander shakes his head: \"Sad Buffy.\"", "Willow: \"She didn't even touch her pumpkin. It's a freak with no face.\"", "Oz: \"She's still suffering a little post-Parker depression.\"", "Xander: \"Bailing on the Buff. Does anyone else want to smack that guy?\" All three raise their hands.", "Cut to Buffy walking down the street alone. A demon jumps out at her screaming and she hits it in the face knocking it down. It pulls of its mask to reveal a young kid.", "Kid: \"Jeez, that hurt! What the hell is wrong with you, lady?\" Gets up and walks away.", "Buffy: \"That's what I'd like to know.\" Intro.", "Cut to UC of Sunnydale. Willow and Buffy are walking into the cafeteria.", "Willow: \"I've got the basics down - levitation, charms, glamours. I just feel like I've plateaued wicca-wise.\"", "Buffy: \"What's the next level?\"", "Willow: \"Transmutation, conjuring, bringing forth something from nothing. Gets pretty close to the primal forces. A little scary.\"", "Buffy: \"Well, no one's pushing. You know, if it's too much don't do it.\"", "Willow: \"Don't do it? What kind of encouragement is *that*?\"", "Buffy: \"This is an 'encouragement' talk? I thought it was 'share my pain'.\"", "Willow: \"I don't know. Then again, what is college for if not experimenting? You know, maybe I can handle it. I'll know when I've reached my limit.\"", "Oz comes up to them: \"Wine coolers?\"", "Buffy: \"Magic.\"", "Oz: \"Ooh, you didn't encourage her, did you?\"", "Willow: \"Where is supportive boyfriend guy?\"", "Oz: \"He's picking up your dry cleaning, but he told me to tell you that he's afraid you're gonna get hurt.\"", "Willow with a smile: \"Okay, Brutus. (Oz just looks at her) Brutus - Caesar? (Willow looks form Oz to Buffy) Betrayal - trusted friend? (Makes stabbing motions with her banana) Back stabby?\"", "Oz: \"Oh, I'm with you on the reference, but - I won't lie about the fact that I worry? I know what it's like to have power you can't control. I mean, every time I start to wold out, I touch something -deep - dark. It's not fun. But just know that what ever you decide, I back your play.\"", "Buffy: \"See? Concerned boy, sweet boy.\"", "Willow: \"I kinda like him - worrying anyway.\" We hear laughter and Buffy looks over to see Parker sitting at a table laughing with his friends.", "Buffy: \"You know I, uhm, I forgot - to (puts her food down and turns to leave) be hungry.\" Willow hands her food to Oz and runs after her: \"Wait, Buffy.\" Willow catches her in the hallway: \"Buffy. Don't let jerky Parker chase you away.\"", "Buffy: \"He didn't. I just don't want to deal with this right now. I'm taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of not coping.\"", "Willow: \"You know what, you'll feel better at the party tonight. Maybe you'll even meet someone.\"", "Buffy: \"Willow, I don't want to meet someone. I've reached my quota on someones. Besides, I think I'm gonna have to patrol anyway.\"", "Willow: \"Tonight, but - it's Halloween!\"", "Buffy: \"I'll double check with Giles, but I'm sure he's going to think I should be on active Slayer duty. He doesn't care about Halloween.\"", "Cut to Giles opening his door dressed up like a Mexican holding a big bowl of candy.", "Giles: \"Happy Hallow - Hello, Buffy?\"", "Buffy stares at him: \"Oh - my - God.\"", "Giles: \"It's a sombrero.\"", "Buffy: \"And it's on your head.\"", "Giles: \"It seemed festive. Uhm, come in. (Buffy comes in) Candy?\" Buffy looks around at the decorations: \"What's going on here? You hate Halloween.\"", "Giles: \"I never said any such a thing. As my Watcher's duties took precedence, I simply haven't taken time to - well, to embrace its inherent charms - until now. (Turns on a Frankenstein puppet hanging from the ceiling) Look, look! (Laughs) It's alive! (Buffy just stares at him) See - how he shakes? - Is - is there something you wanted?\"", "Buffy: \"I was thinking that I should patrol tonight. You know, possibly the cemetery or if you had a better su... (Stares distractedly at the fringe dangling from the edge of his sombrero) could you please take that off?\" Giles sets down the bowl of candy: \"Oh, yes, of course. (Takes the hat off) I see, is there some specific danger you were sensing?\"", "Buffy: \"No. But then you know we were all caught of guard when Ethan turned everyone into their costumes.\"", "Giles: \"True, but what happened then was anomalous. Creatures of the night shy away form Halloween. They find it all much too crass.\"", "Buffy: \"Hard to believe.\"", "Giles: \"Well, I-I promise you - there is little likelihood of any supernatural activity tonight. (Holds up the bowl of Candy) You sure you don't want one?\"", "Cut to the Alpha Delta Fraternity house. They are decorating the haunted house. A guy walks down the hallway and a plastic skeleton with a knife in its hand swings out in front of him, making him jump. 1.Guy laughs and holds up a bag to the guy standing next to the skeleton: \"I come bearing spiders.\"", "2.Guy: \"The sound system is not going to cut it. Nothing but lame.\"", "1.Guy: \"You want me to call Oz? He can probably hook us up.\"", "2.Guy: \"Do it. If we not scare the young women, they will not fall into our arms. - We'll have woman-less arms. Halloween isn't about thrills, chills and funny costumes, it's about getting laid.\"", "1.Guy: \"Is there any holiday that's not about getting laid?\"", "2.Guy: \"Arborday. Call Oz, dude.\"", "1.Guy: \"Done. And oh, you wanted a symbol to paint upstairs, something mystical? (Holds up a book with a pentagram in it) Check this out.\"", "Cut to Xander putting on a jacket in his basement, he turns and there is Anya standing on the stairs.", "Xander: \"Anya? You really have to get this knocking thing down. - How did you...?\"", "Anya: \"You're uncle Rory let me in. Does he always smell like peppermint?\"", "Xander: \"The man likes his schnapps. What are you doing here?\"", "Anya: \"You haven't called. Not once.\"", "Xander: \"You said you were over me.\"", "Anya: \"And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that's what you wanted to hear.\"", "Xander: \"That's the funny thing about me, I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.\"", "Anya: \"That's stupid.\"", "Xander: \"I accept that. - I can't say seeing you falls into the realm of a bad thing.\"", "Anya smiles: \"Really? - I thought - maybe we could go out tonight, for our anniversary.\"", "Xander: \"Anniversary?\"", "Anya: \"It's been exactly one week since we copulated. - Did you forget?\"", "Xander: \"Oh, no, of course not. It's just I already have plans with Buffy, Willow and Oz. It's Halloween, you know.\"", "Anya: \"I don't understand.\"", "Xander: \"Well, every October 31st, we mortals dress up in masks...\"", "Anya: \"No, no, I understand that inane ritual. It's those people. You continue to associate with them though you share little in common.\"", "Xander: \"What are you talking about?\"", "Anya: \"I mean they go to college, you don't. They no longer live at home, - you do.\"", "Xander: \"Oh, hey, those things... The bonds of true friendship transcends... Could we just change the subject?\"", "Anya: \"Okay, okay. Don't get upset with me. I just wondered.\"", "Xander: \"If you want you can come with me tonight to this party.\"", "Anya: \"You mean like a date? - Is that what this is? (Xander swallows) Are we dating?\"", "Xander: \"There are definitely date-like qualities at work here. - Oh, you'll need a costume.\"", "Anya: \"A costume?\"", "Xander: \"Dress up, you know, something - scary.\"", "Anya: \"Scary. Scary how?\"", "Xander: \"Anya, you ex-demon, terrorized mankind for centuries. I'm sure you'll come up with something.\"", "Cut to Psyche-lecture room at UCS. Buffy walks up to Prof. Walsh and Riley as they get ready to leave.", "Buffy: \"Excuse me, Professor Walsh? I came to get today's assignments. I, uh, couldn't make it to class for personal reasons.\"", "Walsh: \"Right. I count four limbs, a head no visible scarring, so I assume your personal issue wasn't a life threatening accident of any kind, I'm therefore uninterested. You got problems, solve them on your own time. Miss another class and you're out.\" Prof. Walsh walks past Buffy.", "Riley: \"She means it, you know.\"", "Buffy: \"Yeah. I got the impression she wasn't saying it to make me laugh.\"", "Riley: \"You've got to be aware your work's taken a little down turn lately. I can't remember the last time I've seen your hand up.\"", "Buffy: \"Does stretching count?\"", "Riley: \"Look, things get pretty intense Freshmen year, - as I dimly recall. Too much fun or not enough?\"", "Buffy after a beat: \"Both actually.\"", "Riley hands her the assignments: \"Yeah, well, you just got to keep your priorities. Prof. Walsh is worth your time.\"", "Buffy: \"Thanks, I'll get this done tonight.\"", "Riley: \"Tonight. It's Halloween! What, your not going to dress up and go party?\"", "Buffy: \"I have a lot of work to do.\"", "Riley: \"I may be out of line here, and it's not really my business, but - you seem like the kind of person that makes things really hard on themselves. Halloween isn't a night for responsibility. It's when the ghosts and goblins come out.\"", "Buffy: \"That's actually a misnomer.\"", "Riley: \"Well, I didn't mean real ones. (Buffy smiles and looks down) But, hey, there is some good scary fun to be had on campus tonight.\"", "Buffy: \"Yeah? What are you doing?\"", "Riley: \"Well, I'm going to sit here and grade papers.\"", "Buffy turns to go: \"Scary.\"", "Riley: \"Very.\"", "Buffy: \"Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach.\"", "Riley: \"Don't make fun. I worked long and hard to get this pompous.\"", "Buffy: \"No, I mean it.\"", "Riley after a beat: \"You're welcome.\" Buffy smiles and walks out while Riley looks after her.", "Cut to the Alpha Delta Fraternity house. A guy is painting the symbol from the book onto the floor. Oz and Xander carry in a speaker.", "3.Guy: \"Okay, watch your step, boys. Paint's still wet in a few spots.\"", "2.Guy: \"Thanks for the loan, man. Our sound system sucks.\"", "Oz: \"Mi casio es su casio.\"", "Xander points at the pentagram: \"Well, that's an interesting little design. What does it mean?\"", "3.Guy: \"No - clue. I got it out of this book. There is a lot of really cool stuff about...\" Xander spots a bowl on a table: \"Ooh, grapes! (Picks up a grape) Wow, peeled. You guys know how to spoil your guests.\"", "2.Guy: \"Eyeballs, man. Blindfold chicks and have them stick their hands in the bowl and tell them it's eyeballs. They love that.\"", "Xander: \"And here I was wasting time buying them flowers and complimenting them on their shoes. So, you go through the whole house of horrors downstairs and it ends up here. Sweet. You fratly guys have a nice setup.\"", "2.Guy: \"Hey, mighty, mighty Alpha Delts. You should think about pledging.\"", "Oz: \"Oh, Xander is a civilian.\"", "2.Guy: \"Ah! Townie, huh? Didn't know. He looked so normal. You sure we should let him come to the party, Oz?\"", "Xander: \"Hey, standing right here.\" Scary sound effects start to play loudly. Oz looks at the speakers unhappily.", "2.Guy: \"Cranking.\"", "Xander looks at Oz: \"You're sensing a disturbance in the force, master?\" Oz pulls out a folding pocketknife: \"Ah, the left speaker is crackling a little bit.\"", "Xander: \"And you feel stabbing it is the proper solution?\"", "Oz: \"I'm just going to trim the wire. It might be a short.\" Xander nods and turns away.", "Oz straightens up: \"Ah!\"", "Xander: \"Oz?\"", "Oz: \"Cut myself. It's okay.\" He walks over shaking his hand. Some blood drops on the symbol on the floor.", "Xander: \"Playing with knives, fun, yes, but not safe. And when you bleed to death I've got dibs on your equipment.\" A ripple runs over the symbol, but no one notices one of the plastic spiders at its edge coming alive and crawling away.", "Cut to Joyce altering a red cape on her sewing machine.", "Buffy: \"Thanks again for doing this at the last minute.\"", "Joyce: \"I'm just glad I could find it. There. Try it now. I let down the hem and loosened it a little around the hood.\"", "Buffy puts it on: \"Oh, it feels better. (Joyce smiles at her) Oh, no. Someone is getting nostalgic face.\"", "Joyce: \"I'm sorry. I'm thinking about the little girl who wore that. What is it? Five? Six years ago.\"", "Buffy: \"Yeah, little red riding hood was the cutting edge in costumes.\"", "Joyce laughs: \"Your father *loved* to take you out.\"", "Buffy: \"He was such a pain! 12 years old and I can't go trick-or-treating by myself?\"", "Joyce: \"He just wanted to keep you safe.\"", "Buffy: \"No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard.\"", "Joyce: \"Oh, that's not true actually. The candy was for me. - Your father loved spending time with you.\"", "Buffy looks down: \"Not enough, I guess.\"", "Joyce: \"Buffy.\"", "Buffy: \"Oh, that just paved right over memory lane, huh?\"", "Joyce: \"Our divorce had nothing to do with you.\"", "Buffy swallows: \"I don't know. - I'm starting to feel like there is a pattern here. - Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you. Maybe it's easier to just not let anyone in.\"", "Joyce gets up: \"I thought it might be easier. You must have noticed that I am not exactly the social butterfly I was when I was with your dad. I don't think I made a single new friend the year we moved to Sunnydale.\"", "Buffy: \"Why not?\"", "Joyce: \"Fear. I didn't believe I could trust anyone again. It's taken time and a lot of effort, but I've got a nice circle of friends now. - I mean, don't get me wrong. I - I'm still a little gun shy. It certainly didn't help that my last boyfriend turned out to be a homicidal robot. (Sits down next to Buffy) I will *always* be here for you. And you got Mr. Giles and your friends. (Buffy looks at her) Believe me, there is nothing to be afraid of.\"", "Cut to students in costumes toilet papering some trees.", "Cut to Willow in Joan of Arc costume.", "Willow on the phone: \"No, I just meet you at your place. - Yeah, Buffy said she was coming but I haven't seen her. We have to make sure she has fun. We have to force fun upon her. And if Parker shows up we just - ax-murder him. That's halloweeny! Okay, I'll see you in a little bit.\" Willow hangs up the phone and goes into the hallway. It's full of college kids in costumes. Tall black guy in drag wearing a blond wig comes up to her: \"Willow, you've got to stop by the room.\"", "Willow: \"I'm late for a battle or I would. I love your outfit though.\" Willow walks by a red lobster talking to a girl dressed like a present.", "Lobster: \"There is nothing going on here.\"", "Present: \"I saw you flirting with her!\"", "Lobster: \"Do we have to do this every time? I love you, you know that!\"", "Cut to the haunted house. It's in full swing. 2.Guy leads a blindfolded girl to the bowl of peeled grapes: \"Okay, Rach, what's in the next one?\"", "Rachel: \"You guys are sick!\"", "2.Guy: \"Here, give me your hand.\" Rachel with her hand in the bowl: \"This is gross.\"", "2.Guy: \"Eyeballs, Rachel, they're eyeballs! Muahaha!\" Rachel giggles takes her blindfold of and looks at what she's picked up out of the bowl. She is holding eyeballs. Screams.", "Cut to Buffy, dressed like little red riding hood, is standing with a basket in her hands. Xander walks up behind her wearing a tux.", "Xander: \"Hey, Red. What you got in the basket, little girl?\"", "Buffy: \"Weapons.'", "Xander: \"Oh.\"", "Buffy: \"Just in case. Like the tux, Xander.\"", "Xander: \"Bond. James Bond. Insurance, you know, in case we get turned into our costumes again. I'm going for cool, secret agent guy.\"", "Buffy: \"I hate to break it to you, but you'll probably end up cool head waiter guy.\"", "Xander: \"As long as I'm cool and wield some kind of power.\" They meet up with Willow and Oz.", "Buffy: \"Will. Medieval Will.\"", "Xander: \"Hail, ye olde - vareletty - thou.\"", "Willow: \"I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how - I was almost burned at the stake, and plus she had - that close relationship with God.\"", "Xander to Oz: \"And you are?\" Oz pulls his jacket open to reveal a nametag with 'God' on it. Xander as they walk on together: \"Of course. I wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could have been God.\"", "Oz: \"Blasphemer.\" Two of the commando guys wearing ski masks and carrying guns step out of the bushes in front of them.", "Buffy: \"Nice costumes. Very stealthy.\"", "Willow: \"What are they supposed to be?\"", "Oz: \"NATO?\"", "Xander: \"Oh, yeah, I, ah, invited Anya to join us, but she's having some trouble finding a scary costume, so she's just going to meet us there.\"", "Buffy: \"Perfect, everybody's got a date but third-wheel Buffy.\"", "Willow: \"You're not a third wheel.\"", "Xander: \"Technically speaking you're a fifth wheel.\" Willow pushes him aside impatiently and puts an arm around Buffy: \"We're going to have the best time.\"", "Cut to the inside of the haunted house. All the kids are running around, screaming. There are strobe lights going, given everything a creepy look. A voice rumbles: \"Release me!\"", "Cut to Buffy and Co. walking up to the house.", "Cut to the kids running and screaming.", "Cut to Willow and Oz smiling and holding hands as they walk up to the door. Oz turns around in front of the door: \"Let the horrors begin.\"", "Cut to 2.Guy running down a corridor: \"God, help me!\" He falls down the steps and lands in a lifeless heap at the bottom.", "Voice rumbles: \"Release me!\"", "Cut to Buffy and Co. entering the silent haunted house.", "Xander: \"The joint's not jumping. Where is everybody?\" Mechanical laughter comes from a head with one eye hanging from its socket sitting in a punch bowl on a table next to the door.", "Oz: \"Follow the signs.\" Buffy looks at the severed head: \"Terrifying. If I were Abbott and Costello this would be fairly traumatic.\" Willow walks into a cobweb decorating a doorway and screams: \"Uh, ah! Cobweb! (Pulls it off of her) Okay that part was realistic.\"", "Oz: \"Frat boys aren't too obsessive with their cleaning. Might not be decoration per se.\" The plastic skeleton with the knife swings out at Xander and he jumps.", "Xander panting: \"I wasn't scared, I was in the spirit.\"", "Willow: \"And we back you up on that. Even if they question us separately.\" Oz looks back at Willow and notices a real tarantula on her shoulder. Willow sees what he is looking at and screams: \"Uh, get it off!\" Oz brushes at it the checks her over: \"It is gone.\"", "Willow: \"Okay, that is not sanitary!\"", "Buffy: \"Yeah, lets get to the party part of the - party.\"", "Willow to Oz: \"Are you sure it's off?\"", "Oz as they follow Buffy: \"Yeah.\" They walk into a room and Buffy bends down to examine a spot on the carpet.", "Oz: \"I thought this led to...\"", "Xander to Buffy: \"What is it?\" Buffy looks at the stain on her fingers: \"Blood. (Smells her fingers) Real blood.\"", "Xander: \"Okay, actual creeps have been given. (Loudly) Bravo, frat boys!\"", "Buffy stands up: \"Shh! Do you hear something? Like a - squeaking noise?\"", "Xander: \"Oh, it's these rented shoes, patent leather. I asked the guy to...\"", "Willow: \"No, no, I - wait. It's something else. I hear it, too. Something like...\" They all slowly look up at the ceiling. It's covered with real bats. All of them scream and cover their heads as the bats suddenly drop down and fly off down the hall. Oz walks over and picks up a bat that is laying on the floor.", "Willow: \"No, Oz, don't it might be...\"", "Oz: \"Rubber. It's made of rubber.\"", "Buffy looks around: \"What the hell is going on here?\"", "Xander: \"Look, maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's just a neat trick. You know, something done with wires or...\"", "Rumbling voice: \"Release me!\"", "Xander: \"Or it might be something else.\"", "Cut to Anya walking up to the house wearing a furry, white bunny suit. There is a welcome mat laying in front of a solid wall.", "Anya: \"Where is the door? (Knocks on the wall) Hey! Hello!\" She sighs and walks back out to the street. She hears a scream coming from the house and looks up to see a girl banging against one of the upper story windows.", "Girl: \"Help me! Help me!\" The stones surrounding the window suddenly expand to cover it up.", "Anya turns to go: \"Xander!\"", "Cut to Buffy and Co. walking back into the entrance room. You can hear all kinds of screams and creepy sound effects.", "Xander: \"Where is the stairs?\"", "Willow: \"Where is the door?\"", "Buffy: \"This is the way we came in, right? We just went in a circle? (The sound effects cut off as Oz flips a switch) Thank the lord!\"", "Oz: \"You're welcome.\"", "Willow: \"Hey, I have a neat idea: lets get out of here!\"", "Buffy: \"And you were so anxious for me to come.\"", "Willow: \"I'm serious, Buffy. We don't know what we're dealing with.\"", "Xander: \"My turn. Does anyone hear that?\"", "Buffy: \"As soon as we start dealing with it I'll know what it is we're dealing with. Do you hear something?\"", "Xander: \"Like I said. Sounds like a hissing.\"", "Buffy puts down her basket: \"It's like a 'ssss' noise?\"", "Xander: \"I thought the word hissing kind of covered that nicely.\" Buffy pulls open the door to a closet. There is a guy in there rocking back and forth.", "Chaz: \"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry.\" Oz crouches down in front of him: \"Chaz.\"", "Chaz: \"I didn't know.\"", "Oz: \"What's happening?\"", "Chaz rocking harder: \"It ah...\"", "Buffy impatiently: \"What is it?\"", "Chaz: \"It's alive. It's alive.\"", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to the plastic skeleton. Cut to the knife in its hand. As the camera pans back up the bones are suddenly real. There is an eyeball in one of its sockets. It straightens its head and looks at the camera.", "Cut to Buffy: \"What's alive?\"", "Xander: \"He's in shock.\"", "Buffy: \"Chaz, what happened here?\" Chaz looks up and screams as he sees the skeleton come up and stab at Buffy's shoulder from behind. Buffy turns and knocks its head aside then kicks it in the middle. It lies back to land on the ground, once again plastic. Buffy stares at it then checks her shoulder.", "Buffy: \"I think the cape took most of it.'", "Xander: \"Let me see.\"", "Oz: \"Could need stitches. You should at least get a bandage or something.\" We hear a girl scream and Chaz crawls back into the closet and closes the door.", "Oz: \"Cowering in a closet is starting to seem like a reasonable plan.\" Buffy looks back over her shoulder: \"What closet? (There is only a blank wall) I'm gonna make my way upstairs and see if there are any people up there. (Picks up her basket) You guys find a way out of the house and use it.\"", "Willow: \"You're telling us to run away and leave you behind?\" Buffy pulls a loaded crossbow out: \"We need help. We need the only person that can make sense of what's happening.\"", "Cut to Giles sitting with his bowl of candy, looking bored. There is an insistent knock on the door and he gets up.", "Giles swallows his candy: \"Just a minute! - Coming! (Opens the door) Happy Hall...\"", "Anya walks past him: \"Xander is in trouble. We've got to do something, right now!\" Giles stares at her with his mouth hanging open: \"Anya.\"", "Anya: \"Are you listening? Xander is trapped!\"", "Giles: \"Uh, ah, where is Buffy and the others?\"", "Anya: \"They're trapped, too, but we've got to save Xander!\" Giles takes off his sombrero and sits down: \"Slow down. I need you to be more specific.\"", "Anya: \"Uhm, ah, we were supposed to meet at this house, and I got there and there was no door where a door should be. And then I see this girl standing in a window, and then poof! She's gone.'", "Giles: \"She vanished from the window?\"", "Anya: \"No, the window vanished from the house.\"", "Giles: \"Hmm. Matter and reality distortion. (Goes and pulls a book from his shelf) Like a summoning spell's temporal flux.\"", "Anya: \"What?\"", "Giles: \"Hmm? Oh, never mind. I just need to get some - supplies together. (Looks over at Anya) I wouldn't worry about Xander. At least he's amongst friends.\"", "Cut to Buffy: \"Will, I'm telling you...\"", "Willow: \"You're telling me? You're telling me?!?\"", "Buffy: \"I can't do my job if I have to worry about each of your safety.\"", "Willow: \"It's not your decision!\"", "Buffy: \"Got to disagree with you there.\"", "Willow: \"Oh, of course you do.\"", "Xander: \"Let's all take a breath. Buffy, maybe...\"", "Willow: \"Being the Slayer doesn't automatically make you boss. You're as lost as the rest of us.\"", "Oz: \"What are we talking about?\"", "Willow: \"It's a simple incantation, a guiding spell for travelers when they become lost or disoriented.\"", "Buffy: \"And how does it work?\"", "Willow: \"It conjures an emissary from the beyond that - lights the way.\"", "Buffy: \"Conjuring. Will, let's be realistic here. Okay, your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty.\"", "Willow upset: \"Oh yeah? Well, - so is your face!\" Willow walks off while Buffy tries to figure out what that meant: \"What?! (Walks after Willow) What does that mean?\"", "Willow turns around: \"I'm not your sidekick!\" Willow stomps out. Oz runs after her. Buffy stands there and sighs.", "Xander: \"Well, that was a bunch of laughs. (Buffy walks past him back to her basket) Look, Buffy, we are all tired and a *little* edgy. Maybe Willow is over reacting. I'm sure part of it is because of how you've been 'pushing away' girl lately. (Buffy picks up her crossbow, ignoring him totally) But now is not the time to let that stuff tear us apart. (Buffy turns to go) What I'm saying is, I'm right with ya. I'm right by your side. I'm...\"", "Buffy looks around: \"Xander?\"", "Xander: \"Funny how you still haven't lost your sense of inappropriate humor.\" Buffy turns around looking right through him: \"Xander, where did you go?\"", "Xander: \"Buffy, knock it off. Skit's over. I'm right here.\" Buffy stomps off down the hall: \"This is so *typical* of him!\"", "Xander: \"Typical?\"", "Buffy down the hall: \"Xander?\" Xander follows her after a beat: \"Buffy!\" Xander walks into a room lit by candles. The walls are covered with cobwebs.", "Xander: \"Buff?\" Pan back down the corridor.", "Willow: \"She thinks I'm not ready to be a full blown witch! I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else. It's not that hard. I-It's just a guiding spell and I'm careful and all.\" Oz looks around the room they just walked into: \"This floor used to have windows.\"", "Willow: \"Look. We found the stairs. (Starts walking up) Buffy didn't find the stairs, no sir!\" Oz following Willow up the stairs: \"You guys aren't thinking clearly.\" He looks down at his hands. They are hairy and his fingernails look more like claws.", "Willow in upstairs corridor: \"We just need to get up to the goat room and maybe we can...\"", "Oz: \"Willow, something is happening.\"", "Willow turns back to him: \"Something good? (Sees that he is turning into a werewolf) Oh, no - not good.\"", "Oz: \"I'm changing.\"", "Willow: \"But - but you can't! There is no moon tonight.\"", "Oz: \"I have to get away.\"", "Willow: \"No, we need to find something to restrain you, like a rope or chains, or something.\"", "Oz: \"There is no time!\"", "Willow: \"I can do the guiding spell. I know I can make it work!\"", "Oz: \"Will, please.\"", "Willow tries to grab him: \"No!\" Oz bats her hand away with a growl: \"NO!\" Willow looks down at the three red scratches on the back of her hand. Oz turns and runs off.", "Willow: \"Oz! - Oz, don't leave me!\" We get several quick shots of different empty parts of the house with Willows voice echoing: \"Don't leave me! Don't leave me!\"", "Cut to Xander walking up to a mirror: \"There I am. I didn't go anywhere. (He looks at his reflection in the mirror. We can see a decapitated head with one eyeball hanging from its socket sitting on a dresser behind him) Great. Now I just have to live with the fact that no one else can see me.\" The head begins to jiggle, blood runs from its eye sockets. Xander spins around and stares at it.", "Head: \"I can see you.\" Xander runs off. Camera pans down a corridor to reveal Oz sitting in a bathtub repeating over and over: \"You're not going to change. You're not going to change.\" Camera pans over some old pictures covered with cobwebs, comes up behind Buffy walking down a corridor. She hears a noise and spins around, crossbow at the ready, but there is nothing there.", "Cut to Willow sitting at a table: \"Okay, Aradia, Goddess of the lost, the path is murky, the woods are dense, darkness pervades, I beseech thee, bring the light. (She opens her eyes and smiles as she sees a tiny speck of light floating in front of her face) Woah! I did it! I did you. Hi! - Right, you're waiting for instructions. Lead me to Oz. (The speck of light starts to float past her, and Willow gets up) Wait! I should try to find the people trapped upstairs first. (Willow looks down and doesn't see that there are now two then three sparks) But even if I get them we still need to find a way out of the house. (They spark keep multiplying) Okay, here is what we should do. (Sees the cloud of sparks) Hey! What's going on? (The sparks start to circle her) Stop! (Willow starts to bat at them as they start to buzz around her like a cloud of mosquitoes) Stop it! - Get off! - Oz, hel..\" Some of the sparks fly into her mouth and she starts coughing, then runs off. The sparks chase after her.", "Cut to Buffy. She hears Willow yell for help and spins around. She tries to follow Willow's voice.", "Buffy: \"Willow.\" She comes up to a locked door and bust it open. There is no floor in the room behind it and she falls down into the basement. We see her laying on the floor on her back, looking up as the door swings slowly shut.", "Buffy: \"Basement. - I must be in the basement.\"", "Hollow voice: \"All alone.\"", "Buffy pushes herself up: \"Who said - that?\" The guy that fell down the steps walks around a corner with his head tilted at an unnatural angle.", "Guy: \"They all ran away from you. They always will. Open your heart to someone and (Smiles at her) - But don't fret, little girl, you're not alone (Buffy screams as arms burst up through the floor to grab at her) anymore.\"", "Cut to Buffy struggling against the dead people coming up through the floor trying to pull her down.", "Cut to Giles and Anya standing in front of the house. Giles is running a hand over the place where the door used to be, holding an open book in his other hand.", "Anya is bouncing impatiently: \"Well?'", "Giles: \"We're gonna have to create a door.\" He closes the book and walks over to his bag.", "Anya: \"Create a door. You can do that?\" Giles gets up with a chainsaw in his hands: \"I can.\"", "Cut to Buffy fighting the dead people.", "Broken neck guy: \"No matter how hard you fight, you just end up in the same place. (Buffy crawls along the floor on all fours, kicking at the guys following her) I don't see why you bother.\" Buffy reaches a small door, goes through and slams it shut behind her. She is in the big room with the pentagram on the floor.", "Buffy: \"I'm upstairs. The goat room.\" She slowly walks into the room. There are college kids in costumes cowering all along the walls, whimpering. Buffy looks at a boy cowering in a corner: \"Oz?\" Willow comes running into the room waving her arms around: \"Get them off me! Get them off me! (Oz looks at his normal hands then up at her) Get'em off! Get'em off!\" Oz takes a hold of her: \"Willow, Willow, Willow, what's wrong?\"", "Willow: \"Couldn't get them off..\"", "Oz: \"It's okay. It's okay. (Pulls her into his arms) We're okay.\"", "Buffy shakes her head: \"We're not okay. We need to get out of here.\"", "Xander: \"I'd offer *my* opinion but you jerks aren't gonna hear it anyway. (Buffy walks over to where he is rocking back and forth on the edge of a chair) Not that 'didn't go to college' boy has anything important to say. I might as well hang out my new best friend, bleeding dummy head, for all you dorks care.\"", "Buffy yells: \"What is wrong with you?\"", "Xander gets up: \"You - you heard that? You - you can see me? (Buffy nods) Good. Oh, God, good!\"", "Oz: \"The house separated us. It wanted to scare us.\"", "Willow: \"But - we got away.\"", "Buffy: \"No. We were brought here. We all got so scared that we ended up here. - Why?\" Xander points at the pentagram on the floor: \"I saw them painting that. They were copying it out of (Looks around and spots the open book on a table) that!\" Willow take the book from him: \"I think it's Gaelic.\"", "Buffy: \"Can you translate?\"", "Rumbling voice: \"Release me! (They all look around but there is nothing there) Release me!\"", "Buffy: \"Will, give me something.\"", "Willow: \"Okay, uhm, uhm, the icon's called the-the Mark of Gachnar. I-I think this is a summoning spell for something called..\"", "Xander: \"Gachnar?\"", "Willow: \"Well, yes. Somehow the beginning of the spell must have been triggered. Uhm, Gachnar is trying to manifest itself, to-to come into being.\"", "Buffy: \"How?\"", "Willow: \"I-it feeds on fear.\"", "Buffy: \"Our fears are manifesting it. We're feeding it. We need to stop.\"", "Xander: \"If we're close our eyes and say it's a dream it'll stab us to death! These things are real.\"", "Rumbling voice: \"Release me!\"", "Buffy: \"Okay, so our fears are feeding it, if we get everyone out of here..\" The walls start knocking and shaking.", "Xander: \"Good plan. Lets go!\" Walks towards the door. He screams when it burst open to reveal Giles with the running chainsaw in his hands. Giles turns off the saw.", "Xander: \"Giles? Everyone, it's Giles! With a *chainsaw*. (Anya runs in and hugs Xander) Glad you could make it.\"", "Giles: \"The walls closed up behind us. (Walks over and takes a look at Willow's book) Gachnar, of course. It's presence infects the reality of the house, but it's not managed to achieve full manifestation. We can not allow this to come into being.\"", "Buffy: \"But if it does I can fight it, right?\" Giles walks over and shows her a picture in the book: \"Buffy, this is Gachnar.\"", "Buffy: \"I *don't* want to fight that. So, we break the spell.\"", "Xander: \"What ever we do, lets do it fast.\"", "Giles flipping pages: \"I have it, I have it. Uhm, 'The summoning spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one of two ways. Destroying the mark of Gachnar (Buffy walks over to the mark and puts her fist through it, ripping up the floorboards. Gets up and looks over at Giles with a proud smile) - Is *not* one of them and will in fact immediately bring forth the fear demon itself.\" Buffy makes a face and looks at the mark that's beginning to glow.", "Willow: \"Look!\" The floor rumbles as they all stare in horror. We get a close up of Gachnar, and he's one ugly dude. Gachnar looks up and the camera pulls back to reveal that he is tiny, maybe a half a foot tall, if that.", "Buffy: \"This is Gachnar?\"", "Xander: \"Big overture. Little show.\"", "Gachnar: \"I am the dark lord of nightmares! (Buffy tries not to laugh) The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!\"", "Willow laughing: \"He - he's no cute!\"", "Gachnar: \"Tremble!\"", "Xander bends down: \"Who's a little fear demon? Come on! Who's a little fear demon!\"", "Giles: \"Don't taunt the fear demon.\"", "Xander: \"Why, can he hurt me?\"", "Giles: \"No, it's just - tacky. Be that as it may, Buffy, when it comes to slaying...\"", "Buffy: \"Size doesn't matter?\"", "Gachnar: \"They're all going to abandon you, you know.\"", "Buffy: \"Yeah, Yeah.\" We get a shot of Buffy's huge foot as she stomps down and squishes the fear demon.", "Cut to the gang digging into Giles Halloween candy at his house.", "Oz: \"Some quality treats here, Giles.\"", "Giles: \"*Please*, finish them.\"", "Buffy: \"Uhm, this is much better. There is no problem that can not be solved with chocolate.\" Willow leans back crossing her arms over her stomach: \"I think I'm going to barf.\"", "Buffy: \"Except that.\" Xander stares at Anya while he's eating his candy.", "Anya: \"What?\"", "Xander: \"That's your scary costume?\"", "Anya: \"Bunnies frighten me.\"", "Giles: \"Oh, bloody hell. The inscription!\"", "Buffy: \"What's the matter?\" Giles comes over to show her the book: \"I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.\"", "Buffy looks at it: \"What's it say?\"", "Giles: \"Actual size.\" After a beat Buffy shrugs and closes the book.", "BLACK OUT" ]

[ "Oz encounters another werewolf, Veruca ( Paige Moss ), who wants him to stop caging himself and hurt people. Physically attracted to her, Oz locks her in his cage to prevent her from attacking people. Willow finds them in the morning both naked. Heartbroken, she tries to do a spell but can't go through with it, leaving her vulnerable to wolf Veruca. Oz and Buffy save the day with Oz leaving town soon after." ]

[ "This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to the campus at night. You see a girl running away from a man. They reach a secluded area. We see that is Buffy and a vampire.", "Buffy : Thanks for the relocate. I perform better without an audience. (She starts beating the crap out of him.)You were thinking, what, a little helpless coed before bed? You know very well, you eat this late... (She stakes him.) You're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn? (He dusts and gives no reaction.) That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with.", "Cut to Spike watching her from a distance.", "Spike : Watch your mouth, little girl. You should know better than to tempt the fates that way. 'Cause the big bad is back, And this time, it's... (Suddenly he's being electorcuted.) Urrgh! Aaaahhh! (The commandos take him away.)", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to Buffy, Willow, Oz and Xander sitting at a table at the Bronze.", "Willow : The bronze is more fun this year, isn't it?", "Buffy : 'Cause of the gloating factor alone, you know? We're all about college now. We've got heady discourse.", "Oz : Yeah. Curfew-free nights of mom and popless hootenanny.", "Xander : Coed dating prospects who find townies sexy and dangerous. What, I can dream.", "Buffy : Right. So if college is so great, what are we doing here and why is it more fun?", "Willow : Because the bronze is nice and familiar. It's like a big comfy blanky.", "Oz : I was under the impression that I was your big comfy blanky.", "Willow : Aw, you're my my person blanky. This is my place blanky. You know, with all the shock of the new, it's nice to have one place that you can come back to where everything's predictable.", "(Giles walks up.)", "Giles : Hello.", "Buffy : Giles, trouble?", "Giles : Oh, no, Buffy. Don't get up. No. Nothing like that. No, I just, you know, I thought I'd drop by. Uh, latte anyone? On me?", "(Everyone is looking at him in shock.)", "Buffy : So much for your predictable blanky theory, Will.", "Sorry.", "Giles: Splendid. Well, it's ages since I've been to a gig. Well, don't look that way. I'm...I'm...I'm down with the new music. And I have the albums to prove it.", "Buffy : Yes, but it's your cutting edge 8-tracks that keep you ahead of the scene.", "Oz : Don't scoff, gang. I've seen Giles' collection. He was an animal in his day.", "Giles : Thank you.", "Buffy : Hey, why not? If the stones can still keep rolling, why can't Giles?", "Giles : Exactly.", "Willow : I think it's brave that you're here.", "Giles : Well, thank you, all. You've made me feel right at home.", "Xander : Isn't home that empty place you're trying to escape?", "Giles : Oh, yeah.", "Willow : Veruca's playing tonight.", "Oz : Yeah. Every Wednesday. I told you. Veruca's band Shy is seen on stage. Oz is entranced.", "Buffy : So, Oz, what about dingoes? When are you guys here again?", "Oz : (Distractedly.) Oh, we're up next friday.", "Willow : They're good, aren't they? Oz is still mesmerized, and barley paying attention to anything but Veruca.", "Oz : Nothing special.", "Willow : Yeah. She's quell fiona. Color me bored.", "Giles : Really? I think she's rather remarkable. Such presence for someone her age.", "Cut to Oz's room. He and Willow are lying in bed. Willow is having a nightmare. Willow ; Mm... It's in the sandblaster. Uh...", "Oz : (Trying to wake Willow from her nightmare.) What's in the sandblaster, Will? It's a dream. Come back to me.", "Willow : (Murmering in her \"sleep\" and smiling.) Mmm...Hmm... All geminis to the raspberry hats.", "Oz : Now you're faking.", "Willow : (In a cute voice.) Am not. Just a little. (She turns to face Oz.", "Oz : Morning.", "Willow : Morning.", "Oz : Bad dream?", "Willow : I guess. But the waking up part makes up for it.", "Oz : It's always so busy in there.", "Willow : Not always. A few things shut my brain up completely. (Gets cuddly.)", "Oz : Anything I can help you with?", "Willow : I gotta get to class right now, but tonight for sure.", "Oz : I don't know about tonight, unless the extreme jerry garcia look turns you on.", "Willow : (Confused.) Huh?", "Oz : Night before the full moon.", "Willow : Oh, that's right. And I have a thing. There's this wicca group on campus I wanted to check out. They have orientation on the 3 nights you're wolfy. And it's probably totally silly, but--", "Oz : No. Go. Show 'em how it's done.", "Willow : Are you sure? You can lock yourself up? It's only this one month. After orientation, they meet on different nights.", "Oz : I'll be fine.", "Willow : Ok. As long as you don't mind.", "Oz : The only thing I mind is being away from you for 3 nights.", "Cut to Prof Walsh's class. She is returning papers.", "Walsh : Ms. Summers... I want you to prepare to lead a discussion group next class On the paper topic. That was smart work.", "Buffy : (Surprised as she recives her paper.) What do I have to do?", "Walsh : If you have any questions, bring them up with one of the T.A.S. Buffy leaves the class and walks up to Willow.", "Willow : Are you ok? How'd you do? (Buffy smiles and holds up her paper. Willow is amazed.) This is good. I mean, this is excellent. You did better than me. (She looks upset.) This is so unfair! You made me jealous of you academically. Buffy! (She and Buffy hug.)", "Buffy : I know. Can you believe it?", "Willow : Wow. I guess professor Walsh isn't so ogrey after all.", "Buffy : And she wants me to lead a discussion group next class. That means more work, right? (They start to walk.) Shouldn't she have a better reward system? You know, like a cookie or a toy surprise like at the dentist?", "Willow : She wants you to lead a discussion group? Ok. Jealous again. (She looks upset.) Jealous, jealous-- ok. I'm back. (She smiles again.) Hey, I'm meeting Oz at the cafe. You wanna come? I'll buy you that celebratory cookie.", "Buffy : Great. I'm T.A. Bound right now, and then I will catch up with you guys.", "Willow : Cool. Buffy walks off. Cut to Oz walking through the cafe. He spies Veruca sitting alone at a table.", "Veruca : What are you gonna do, sit on the ground?", "Oz : My girlfriend's coming.", "Veruca : There's room.", "Oz : (Sits down.) Big lunch?", "Veruca : I like to eat. I hate chicks who are like, \"does it have dressing on it?\"", "Oz : (Nods.) Agreed. You guys were tight last night.", "Veruca : I guess. The set's starting to come together, but the amps still sound dirty to me.", "Oz : What are you using? 50 Or 120?", "Willow : (Walks up. Looks somewhat distressed.) Hey.", "Oz : Hey.", "Veruca : Hey.", "Oz : You wanna sit down? (Willow sits.) So you should be using a 50. And blue voodoo, not your best bet, unless you dig the distort.", "Willow : Music talk, huh? Cool. I love to listen to oz talk about the biz.", "Veruca : What do you like again? I know you told me.", "Oz : There's a couple good ones. The johnson mil... The number one is redbone.", "Veruca : Number one? No. I gotta go with hound dog.", "Willow : Me, too. That's a great song. I mean, elvis, what a guy.", "Veruca : You a big elvis fan?", "Willow : The biggest. Well, I mean, after dingoes, of course.", "Oz : We're actually talking amps. But it's easy to get confused, The names they give 'em.", "Willow : Oh. Ha ha.", "Oz : You know, I gotta bail. Um, I'll call you later. (He gets up to go.)", "Veruca : I should go, too. (To Willow.) Good shirt. (She leaves.)", "Buffy : (Walks up.) Check out the rapid exits. Was it me?", "Willow : (Looking sad. Buffy sits.) Me. I don't speak musicianese. How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?", "Buffy : I thought that was the point. He thinks she's sexy. He gets this blushy thing going on behind his ears. That's for me only.", "Buffy : It doesn't mean anything. So Oz checks out another girl. He loves you.", "Willow : I know. I--I know. And I don't wanna be the kind of girl who freaks every time my boyfriend notices somebody else. I mean, I have wrong feelings about other guys sometimes, but I feel guilty, and I flog and punish.", "Buffy : Exactly. I'm sure Oz is flogging and punishing himself. This is sounding wrong before I even finish. Look, I promise you, in a couple of days, it's gonna be like \"veruca who?\"", "Willow : You think?", "Buffy : Absolutely. Oz just isn't the type to stray. Not tonight anyways. He'll be locked in a cage.", "Cut to Oz's cage. He's more wild than normal. He breaks out. Cut to Walsh walking along outside alone. She stops when Oz jumps out at her. She runs and comes along yet another werewolf. She's terrified, but as they both jump at her they crash into each other as she jumps out of the way. They attach each other. Cut to the next morning. They're semi hidden by bushes, both naked.", "Oz : That was, um...", "Veruca : Some night.", "Oz : So it appears.", "Veruca : Right. You don't remember. It's like that at first, but then little bits and pieces will start coming back to you.", "Oz : So you're A...", "Veruca : Werewolf groupie. Nobody else gets it done for me.", "Oz : What?", "Veruca : Kidding. You know what I am. You've known since the first time you saw me. Now, you... Need...To relax.", "Oz : Not a possibility.", "Veruca : So what do you want to do? They head off. Cut to the laudromat. Oz is wearing clothes that don't fit and don't entirely match. Veruca is wakling about in whorewear.", "Veruca : God! The kids in the dorm need fashion 101 in a big way. (She spies Oz's ensemble.) Or we could start right here at home.", "Oz : Not making a statement. Just wanna get back to my place, figure out why we got out of our cages.", "Veruca : (Incredulous.) You have a cage?", "Oz : Don't you?", "Veruca : Uh, yeah. Has a little wheel with a plastic ball And a cute little bell in it. God! Somebody's domesticated the hell out of you.", "Oz : It's my choice. I don't wanna hurt anybody.", "Veruca : Maybe. Or maybe you just don't wanna admit what happened to you. Maybe you just wanna pretend like you're a regular guy. (She walks over to him.)", "Oz : Well, I am. I'm only a wolf 3 nights a month.", "Veruca : Or you're a wolf all the time and this human face is just your disguise. You ever think about that, Oz? (She's getting closer to him.)", "Oz : I'm going. I gotta check the paper, see if we did any damage last night.", "Veruca : Oh, we did. But only to each other. I know some part of you remembers that. It doesn't take a full moon. We could...Do it again right here. (She's getting \"cuddly\" with him.", "Oz : We aren't going to. This ends... Right now.", "Veruca : I can help you, Oz. (Continueing the slut act.)You're scared. I was, too. But then I accepted it. The animal, it's powerful, inside me all the time. Soon, you just start to feel sorry for everybody else because they don't know what it's like to be as alive as we are. As free.", "Oz : Free to kill people? I won't do that. You shouldn't.", "Veruca : You don't understand. But you will. You'll see that we belong together.", "Oz : No. I know where I belong.", "Veruca : (As Oz walks of.) See ya tonight.", "Cut to Riley and Professor Walsh walking. She's telling him about the night before.", "Walsh : 2 Of them. It was unbelievable. The fact that I survived at all is a miracle.", "Buffy : (Walks up to them.) Excuse me. Ms. Walsh?", "Walsh : I hope you're careful when you walk around campus after dark. I was attacked by wild dogs last night.", "Buffy : Wild dogs?", "Walsh : 2 Of them. Biggest things I've ever seen. The first one was-- Well, for a moment, I thought it was a gorilla. Did you have a question, Buffy?", "Buffy : No. No, I was just... Sayin' howdy.", "Walsh : Fine. See you in class. Buffy leaves looking thoughtful.", "Cut to Oz's room. There's a knock at the door.", "Oz : Yeah?", "Willow : (Walks in.) Hey.", "Oz : Hey. New look. (She's wearing shiny pants.)", "Willow : You, too.", "Oz : Oh. Uh... Laundry day kinda came and went.", "Willow : Hey... I'm sorry if I was weird yesterday with you and Veruca.", "Oz : (Looking mildly uncomfortable.) I didn't notice anything.", "Willow : Really? 'Cause I felt all spazzy.", "Oz : No.", "Willow : Oh. Good. So it was just me worrying for nothing again. Me and my busy head always thinking, thinking, thinking.", "Oz : Well, now you can stop everything's fine.", "Willow : (Getting hinty.) Maybe you could help me...Stop. I'd really, really appreciate anything you could do.", "Oz : What? (He's very uncomfortable as she approaches him.)", "Willow : What's wrong?", "Oz : Uh...Sorry. I...", "Willow : You don't want to? (She looks hurt.) Oz :It's not that. I do. I just... I didn't get any sleep, I guess. I'm really beat.", "Willow : Right. Busy wolf night. I get it. It's totally ok.", "Oz : (As Willow heads for the door.) Willow, you don't have to--", "Willow : No. I--I should. I don't have much time. See you later. She leaves.", "Cut to Giles apartment. He's watching Jeapordy.", "Giles : (Answering the tv.) Peace of westphalia.", "Contestant: Uh, yalta?", "Giles : Oh, you moron. That dinette set should be mine. The doorbell rings. He goes to answer it and he finds Buffy at the door.", "Giles : Buffy. Excellent. Uh, come in.", "Buffy : Hi.", "Giles : Can I get you anything? Tea? I made a very interesting mousaka last night, if you're hungry.", "Buffy : Pass on the tea. And the moose, thank you.", "Giles : You come on business, I hope?", "Buffy : (Giving him a look.) Yes. Lucky for you, people may be in danger.", "Giles : (Embarrased.) I only meant, uh, that I'm at the ready.", "Buffy : Here's the deal. One of my professors said that she was almost attacked by two wild dogs last night... Under the light of a nearly full moon.", "Giles : Werewolves. Two Of them?", "Buffy : Could be. Well, I've not seen anything about the attacks in the newspapers or on the news.", "Giles : Have you spoken with Oz?", "Buffy : My next stop.", "Giles : Right. Get right on it.", "Buffy : And I'll see what I can find out.", "Giles : And you report back to me...", "Buffy : (As she leaves.) Asap. Promise.", "Cut to Xander's apartment. He's sitting on the couch. Willow walks in.", "Xander : Hey, Will. Mom let you in?", "Willow : She seemed cranky.", "Xander : Yeah. We're having a little landlord-tenant dispute, So I'm withholding rent. An effective, and might I add, thrifty tactic.", "Willow : How come? (She sits on the arm of the couch.)", "Xander : She won't let me put a lock on my door. I suspect she's afraid I'll start having the s*x.", "Willow : Yeah. Parents usually wait till you're out of the house. Or under it.", "Xander : Or under it...", "Willow : To start worrying about stuff like that.", "Xander : It's mostly too late. So, I know why I'm sitting in a dank, sunless little room. But why are you?", "Willow : Well, things with Oz are weird. And I talked to Buffy about it, but I think we're in guyville here. I need a translator from the \"y\" side of things.", "Xander : Well, last time I checked, I had the creds. Hit me.", "Willow : What does it mean when a girl wants to... You know.", "Xander : If you're doin' it, I think you should be able to say it.", "Willow : Make love.", "Xander : Wild monkey love or tender Sarah Mclachlan love?", "Willow : Any kind. But what if the girl wants to and the guy doesn't? That's a bad sign, right?", "Xander : Could be. Or the girl caught the guy in one of the 7 annual minutes he's legitimately too preoccupied to do it.", "Willow : Well, say the girl's been noticing--", "Xander : Will, I've deciphered your ingenious code.", "Willow : Ok. Say I've been noticing Oz notice someone else. A woman.", "Xander : And is this chick noticing back?", "Willow : Most definitely.", "Xander : Well... Have you asked Oz about it?", "Willow : Well, I thought about it, but then he'll think I'm all jealous and worry.", "Xander : But you are. And odds are, he feels it. I'll bet that's all there is to the weird you're feeling. You guys should talk things out, Wll. You'll both feel better.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to Oz's underground cave area. Buffy walks in as Oz is reenforcing the cage.", "Buffy : Got out, huh?", "Oz : Yeah.", "Buffy : Any news about attacks?", "Oz : No.", "Buffy : But I did hear about a woman being chased by two wild dogs.", "Oz : Two? Really?", "Buffy : You don't remember anything like that, do you? Another wolf?", "Oz : No. When the change comes, it's like...I'm gone. Total blackout.", "Buffy : You know, I find wolf number two out on patrol tonight, and you might have a roomie in there. (Buffy starts to walk off then stops and turns to look at him.) Oz... You ok? And if it's possible, you seem more monosyllabic than usual.", "Oz : I'm ok. Thanks.", "Cut to later. Veruca has walked down into the underground area where Oz is.", "Veruca : So this is why you called me here? To see your habittrail? (She walks up to him.) Right before sunset, I get a little buzzed, you know?", "Oz : Come here.", "Veruca : I'm not getting in that stupid cage with you, if that's what this is all about. We belong outside.", "Oz : You can't run loose tonight. And not just because you might hurt somebody. I know people that'll be out there... Hunting for us.", "Veruca : (Stepping closer.) So you're saying I should spend the whole night with you... Alone... Locked in a cage.", "Oz : You'll be safe.", "Veruca : Not from you. Isn't that the point of this cozy little arrangement? It's coming. Do you feel it? It's like blood boiling.", "Oz : I feel it.", "Veruca : (Leaning in towards him, haning on the the cage door.) I've wanted you even before I ever saw you. I sensed you. Did you sense me?", "Oz : (Tensely.) Come in here.", "Veruca : Did you? He nods slightly. She steps in the cage and they kiss. As they do they change. Werewolf \"wakiness\" ensues.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to the morning. Willow is bounding down the stairs with a bag of food and a thermos. She cuts short as she sees Veruca and Oz, naked, limbs tangled asleep on the floor of the cage. The thermos and bag drop as she stares in shock. Oz wakes up and sees Willow. He starts to get up.", "Oz : Willow... (He starts putting on his pants.)", "Willow : Oh, my god. Oh, my god.", "Oz : I know what you saw. It wasn't-- (Finishes putting on his pants.) I had to.", "I had to lock her in there with me.", "Willow : I bet.", "Oz : She's like me. A wolf.", "Willow : Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but... (Oz tries to touch her.)Don't touch me! (She jerks back.)", "Oz : She was gonna hurt somebody. I didn't have a choice.", "Willow : But you did. You could've told somebody. Your solution... Just put you two together in a room all night?", "Veruca : (Having woken up, stands up bearing all.) Girl's got a point.", "Oz : (Angrily.) Leave.", "Veruca : I'm just saying--", "Oz : (Shouts) Now! I'm sorry. I know.", "Willow : I knew, you jerk. And you sat there, and you told me everything was fine? And that's as bad as... As... (Now crying.)", "Oz : I know how it feels. I remember.", "Willow : Oh. So what, this is payback? I had this coming?", "Oz : No. It's not--", "Willow : Because I thought that was behind us. And you know, what happened with Xander, it doesn't compare. Not with what you and I had. Not with whatever you've been doing with her.", "Oz : I don't know what Veruca and I have done. When I change, it's like, it's like I'm gone and the wolf takes over.", "Willow : But before this, when you were regular Oz, you had feelings for her, didn't you?", "Oz : No. I could sense something, but...", "Willow : But you wanted her... Like in an animal way? Like...More than you wanted me? (She runs off, tears streaming down her face.)", "Oz : Willow!", "Cut to Willow walking down the street looking disconsolant. She walks into the street, and stops as a car comes bearing down on her. Buffy sees her but is too far away. Fortunatly Riley jumps out and yanks her to safty. Buffy comes running over.", "Buffy : Willow, are you ok? (To Riley.) Thank you. I was too far away.", "Riley : It was lucky. She almost got hit.", "Buffy : Willow, what's the matter?", "Riley : Maybe you should take her home. Whatever it is, it's not worth hurting yourself over.", "Buffy : Thank you. He leaves. Buffy guides Willow away.", "Cut to Willow and Buffy's room. Willow is sitting on her bed looking miserable.", "Buffy : I have to go. I have to find Veruca before the sun sets. I will, though. When I do, this thing stops. She's bad news. Do you want me to get you something before I take off? Kleenex? Chocolatey... Chocolate anything?", "Willow : No.", "Buffy : I'll come back as soon as this is finished. I just want you to take it easy, ok? Riley was right. The main thing is put the blame where it belongs. Don't hurt yourself.", "Willow : Uh-huh. Ok.", "Buffy : You're ok?", "Willow : I'm fine. I promise.", "Buffy : I love you. (Buffy leaves.)", "Willow : Put the blame where it belongs.", "Cut to Oz's room. He's on the phone sitting on the edge of his bed.", "Oz : So you haven't seen her around? (Pause.) Ok. Thanks, man. The door opens and Buffy enters.", "Buffy : Where is she?", "Oz : I don't know. I already checked all the usual haunts. But I know the areas we're drawn to. I'm pretty sure I can follow her scent.", "Buffy : We'll try that, then.", "Oz : Look, buffy, you should know that--", "Buffy : Oz... (Coldly.) Now might be a good time for your trademark stoicism. They leave to go look for Veruca.", "Cut to Willow. She' got her wicca stuff out and is casting a spell. Beakers and vials are out, some boilding.", "Willow : I conjure thee by barabbas, by satanas, and the devil. As thou art burning, Let Oz and Veruca's deceitful hearts be broken. This way. I conjure thee by the saracen queen And the name of hell. Let them find no love or solace. Let them find no peace as well.", "Cut to Oz and Buffy running through the woods.", "Oz: She's near here. I can smell her. They come upon a pile of clothes in a heap, and no Veruca.", "Buffy : Or the dirty pile of clothing she left on the ground.", "Oz : Well, they could be from the other night when she-- Turned into a werewolf. U", "Buffy : Unless she wanted to throw you off the scent.", "Oz : Willow. Cut back to Willow. She has a picture of him and is holding it near the flame.", "Willow : Let this image seal his fate, not to love, only hate. Willow can't bring herself to finish the spell. She drops the picture and a levitating beaker along drops and the burning and boiling containers cease activity.", "Veruca : (Walking in.) Wow. For a minute there, I thought you might actually play rough. Sometimes you have to, you know? To keep what's yours, sometimes you have to kill. How 'bout that? The sun's almost down. She advances towards Willow.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to Buffy and Oz running through the forrest top speed. Buffy slams full force into a burly commando guy. They hit the ground and thier guns go flying. (She's carring a tranquilizer.) They get up and run off.", "Veruca : Can't say I'm surprised you didn't go through with your little hex. You don't have the teeth.", "Willow : (Backing up.) You don't know what I have. You don't know anything about me.", "Veruca : I know what you love. I have his scent on me right now.", "Oz : Don't touch her again.", "Veruca : Come stop me. I like it rough, remember?", "Oz : You wanna hurt me, hurt me. You leave her out of this.", "Veruca : How can I? She's the reason you're living in cages. She's blinding you. When she's gone, you'll be able to admit what you are.", "Oz : You don't wanna find out what I am.", "Veruca : You're an animal. Animals kill.", "Oz : You're right. (Advancing towards her.) We kill.", "He starts to wolf as does she. They begin to struggle. They fight and he gets the upper hand and tears her throat out. Willow cowers in a corner, crying uncontrolably.", "Willow : Oz? He looks at her, and advances, then jumps but comes up short. Buffy has grabbed him. He goes to attack her but she kicks him out of her way, then shots him with the tranquilizer. He attempts to get up but falls back. Buffy goes to comfort the traumatized Willow.", "Cut to Giles apartment.", "Giles : I'm not quite sure I understand.", "Buffy : There was just so much going on with oz and willow. And there still is. But I just thought you should know.", "Giles : Well, this fellow in the woods, he was in military garb?", "Buffy : And he was toting some serious weaponry. The thing is, I saw some guys dressed exactly like him on halloween night. I just assumed they were in costume. But maybe they were working. I wanna know what's up. The guy got in my way. I almost didn't catch up with oz in time. And as it was, I was too late to--", "Giles : You saved Willow.", "Buffy : Right now she wishes I hadn't. Giles, I've never seen her like this. It's like it hurts too much to form words.", "Giles : You've... You've felt that way yourself, And you got through it.", "Buffy : Yeah. I ran away and went to hell and then got through it. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't use me as a model.", "Giles : Fair enough.", "Buffy : I just don't know how they're gonna deal with this.", "Cut to Oz's room. He's packing.", "Willow : (Walks in.) Hello.", "Oz : Hi.", "Willow : What are you doing?", "Oz : I'm going.", "Willow : Now?", "Oz : Mm-hmm. He zips the suitcase.", "Willow : That's your solution?", "Oz : That's my decision.", "Willow : Don't I get any say in this?", "Oz : No. Veruca was right about something. The wolf is inside me all the time, and I don't know where that line is anymore between me and it. And until I figure out what that means, I shouldn't be around you... Or anybody.", "Willow : (Crying.) Well, that could be a problem 'cause people... Kind of a planetary epidemic.", "Oz : I'll find someplace.", "Willow : Well, how long?", "Oz : I don't know.", "Willow : Oz... Don't you love me?", "Oz : (Holding her pressing his forehead to hers as she sobs.) My whole life... I've never loved anything else.", "Willow : Oz... Oh, god. Oz... Willow is left standing crying. Oz walks out and puts his bag in his van. He gets in and starts the van. He pauses then cuts the engine. Then he starts the van again and drives away.", "BLACK OUT" ]

[ "Spike, who was captured by the commandos, is being held hostage by them in a hi-tech facility underneath the University. Spike escapes and heads to find Buffy, who he assumes is behind this; Riley realizes he has a crush on Buffy." ]

[ "This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the tv. It is not to infringe on any copywrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut the the UC Sunnydale cafeteria. Riley is sitting at a table laboring over papers. A friend Forrest is checking out his coeds.", "Forrest: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery, waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party will be lame if we lack for hotties. Professor? You with me?", "Riley : No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers, due at 3:00.", "Forrest : How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh...Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot? We see Buffy at the soda fountain. She's distracted and her cup starts to over flow.", "Riley : (Looks up.) She's buffy.", "Forrest : Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.", "Riley : It's her name, Forrest.", "Forrest : You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?", "Riely : I haven't really thought about what I think of her.", "Forrest : A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?", "Riley : No, I mean, She's all right, I guess. She's just kind of... I don't know. Peculiar. We see Buffy break the handle off of the the frozen yogurt machine. She battles with it for a bit.", "Forrest : Peculiar? Hi. Hey, graham, what do you think of the blonde chick? Mattressable, n'est pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.", "Riley : I don't dislike her. She just-- she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.", "Forrest : I bet you do.", "Riley : Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.", "Graham : Maybe she's canadian. Buffy flees the site and we see the yogurt machine overflowing in her wake.", "Forrest : Didn't she go out with parker abrams for about 30 seconds?", "Riley : Abrams? Yeah, there's a sign of good taste. Buffy goes to the register and pays for her food.", "Forrest : Ok, but you've got to admit she's a major league hottie.", "Riley : Well, I'm not denying she's easy on the eyes. I'm just saying... (Buffy spills both drink and yogurt on the floor.) Would you really want to go out with her?", "Forrest : Hell, yes. I bet a lot of guys would like to get their hands on her.", "Cut to Spike laying on the floor of a sanitary hospital white chamber. He's mumbling as he drifts towards conciousness.", "Spike : Slayer... I'll kill you. Not so tough. I... Kill slayer. He gets up and looks around. He goes to the glass wall that holds him in and puts his hands on it. He recieves a sevre electric shock and jumps back. The camera pans back and we see doezens of other cages with vampires and other ilk locked up.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Cut to Giles apartment. He and Xander are sitting in his living room. He's adding finishing touches to a drawing.", "Giles : Well, based on buffy's description, I believe the men that we're after", "Look something like, um... Like this. He holds up the drawing.", "Xander : The latest in fall fascism. I like it. A bit full in the hips for my taste, but--", "Giles : Oh, I think we can safely assume they're human, So, um, no research needed.", "Xander : No studying? Damn! Next thing they'll tell me is I'll have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I ask you, how much can one man give?", "Giles : Not too much, I'm afraid. Um... Once again I'd say that you and I will not be needed to help buffy.", "Xander : Really?", "Giles : Really.", "Xander : Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, Summon some ancient, unstoppable evil. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem. We show up and kick its ass. Buffy walks in the apartment.", "Giles : Wee bit unethical.", "Buffy : Hello, people. Hey. Mmm. (Giles hold up the scetch.) It's my late night storm trooper pal.", "Giles : It's--it's just for reference, you know, But fairly accurate you'd say?", "Buffy : That's your man.", "Giles : Your man, actually. Uh...You are patrolling tonight?", "Buffy : Nope, I am going to a party tonight. Hopefully, a \"no fighting, no biting\" kind of deal.", "Giles : Look, buffy, somebody's got to find out who these people are.", "Buiffy : Giles, I live in a dorm now. The girls in my hall want to party, Willow needs some cheering up. I'm going to take her.", "Xander : How's will dealing--", "Buffy : (Cutting off Xander.) With the black hole of despair she's been living in since Oz left? She's dealing. I'm helping. It's hard. Ergo, party. You two can take patrol. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something slutty to wear tonight.", "Cut to the facility that Spike is being held at. He's pacing around when a packet of blood falls from a panel in the ceiling. He grabs it and goes to start in on it. We see the vampire that was captured in the first episode, a leftover from Sunday's gang.", "Vampire : Don't drink it. It's drugged.", "Spike : (He throws down the pack, frusterated.) Uh-huh. And who are you, mate?", "Vampire : I'm a rat. I'm a lab rat, just like the others. They're gonna kill us, you know.", "Spike : And how are they gonna do that?", "Vampire : They starve you. When you're ready to bite your own arm, they shoot out one of those packets. You drink, and the next thing, you're gone. And that's when they do the experiments.", "Spike : And, uh, they are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?", "Vampire : Who cares? All I know is, one minute I'm running from the slayer, And the next thing, I'm here.", "Spike : The slayer! I knew it! I knew it!", "Vamire : Yeah, she took apart my crew, and led me straight to these guys.", "Spike : She set me up, too. I always worried what would happen When that bitch got some funding. (He slams his hands into the glass wall briefly in frusteration.) She's wised up a bit. Fine! I'll take her apart. I don't care how brilliant she is.", "Cut to Prof. Walsh's class. Buffy is fighting with her pen and her hands are covered in ink.", "Buffy : Stupid pen. (She looks down alarmed.) My notes!", "Wilow : Ballpoints can be tricky.", "Walsh: I'll see you all tomorrow. Buffy and Willow collect thier things to leave. Willow goes up to Riley", "Willow : Riley. I notice you left off a name today in roll call. Osbourne, Daniel Osbourne, Oz?", "Riley : He's not in this class anymore. I hear he dropped out.", "Willow : (Looking distressed.) Oh, well you heard way wrong then. I mean, he's not gone. He--he left temporarily to work out a few things. I know that sounds lame in its vagueness, but I assure you, Oz will be back.", "Walsh: (Walks up to where Willow and Riley are.) Not to my class, he won't. An educated guess. You know the rules, you know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional. (She crosses her arms in front of her looking intimidating.)", "Willow : Oh, but--", "Walsh : (Cutting her off.) It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back. Willow looking hurt and miserable walks off. Buffy who's been watching from the sidelines walks up to Walsh.", "Buffy : You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.", "Walsh : It's not my job to coddle my students.", "Buffy : You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job. (Buffy stalks off.)", "Walsh : I like her.", "Rirley : Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?", "Cut to Xander's apartment / his parents basement. He's got a spread of military weaponry in front of him. He's trying to open the chamber of a pistol and having some trouble.", "Xander : Here we go. Gear for tonight. If some commando squads are out there, fully loaded, these babies might give us the edge we'll need.", "Giles : That's a very impressive array. Where'd it all come from?", "Xander : Uh, requisitioned it. Back when I was a military guy.", "Giles : That was 2 years ago. You still 100%?", "Xander : Are you kidding? I put the semper in semper fi. I might not be able to assemble an m-16 blindfolded like I used to or pass weapons drill from the mobile infantry... (Giles grabs the pistol and immediatly accomlishes what Xander has been trying to do for 10 minutes.) Might as well face it. Right now, I don't have the technical skills to join the swiss army. And all those guys ask you to do Is uncork a couple of sassy cabernets.", "Giles : Well, I'm sure you'll be ready when the time comes.", "Xander : Oh, fear not. Hand to hand? I'm still the man. Whoever these guys trained with, I'm sure they're not ready to deal with--", "Xander's Mother : (Calling from the main level of the house.) Xander! Xander :Yes, mom!", "Xander's Mother : I made up a nice fruit punch for you and your friend. Would you boys like some?", "Giles : (Looks up.) Is it, uh, raspberry fruit punch?", "Cut to where Riley is talking to Forrest in thier dorm, and he's throwing a frizbee back and forth between another guy.", "Riley : So she says, \"you teach human behavior. Maybe you ought to show some.\"", "Forrest : Oh, you're lying. She says that to Walsh?", "Riley : Hope to die.", "Forrest : Doesn't lack for guts. You've got to give her that.", "Riley : Yeah, but she's nuts.", "Forrest : Oh, come on. Like you never wanted to tell the professor off? Hey, Parker!", "(Parker has entered the dorm. Forrest, Riley and a few others walk over to him.)", "Parker : Forrest. What's up, man?", "Forrest : What's the scoop on Buffy Summers? Is she cool?", "Parker : Buffy? Yeah, she's all right, I guess. I mean, kind of whiney.", "Forrest : How's that?", "Parker : Well, you know, clingy. I mean, we got a little physical-- Uh, well, fully physical, and then she's all over me, you know, like we're betrothed or something.", "Forrest : No, but fun was had, yeah?", "Parker : [Laughs] oh, yeah. The word is stamina. I mean, definitely a bunny in the sack, but later on, well. You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it.", "Riely decks Parker who hits the floor.", "Riley : (Walking between Forrest and Graham.) I can't believe that I did that.", "Forrest : Welcome to the club. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could have gotten into? If parker reported you--", "Graham : He won't, he's too embarrassed.", "Riley : I hit him.", "Forrest : What the hell for?", "Riley : He--he was just being so crude.", "Forrest : Please. You've heard me say much grosser things than that.", "Riley : And most of those are about your own mother. (Riley laughes and Forrest jokingly smacks him on the back of the head. Riley stops abruptly.)", "Forrest : What is it?", "Riley : I just didn't like hearing him (he pauses thoughtfully) talk about buffy that way. I think I... Well, I guess I like her.", "Forrest : You're kind of like a moron.", "Riley : So, you... You knew that I had feelings for her.", "Forrest : Everybody knows, man. Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy.", "Riley : I'm always the last to know.", "Forrest : So, whatcha gonna do?", "Riley : (Walking off.) Well, I guess I'm gonna go see a girl.", "Cut to the facility. We see Spike on the floor uncouncious. Beside him is an empty sack of blood. Two lab types grab him and are loading him onto a gourney. As they're starting to strap him in his eyes open. He grabs the lab guy by him by the throat.", "Spike : Sorry, can't stay. Got to go see a girl.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Back to the lab. Spike jumps off the gourney. An orderly rushes him, and Spike grabs him by the arm and flips him over the gourney, sending him rolling to the floor. Spike follows him, ready to attack, and the orderly grabs him and slams him into the glass wall of the episode one vampire's cage/room.", "Vampire : Let me out!", "Spike : Bit busy right now.", "Vampire : Look, I know where the exit is. You spring me, you're free. You don't, you're dead. Spike throws the orderly off of him, into another with a syringe, who accidentally stabs him in the neck with it. He falls onto the gourney. The second orderly looks up alarmed. Spike has vamped out, smiles, grabs the orderly and flips him onto the floor.", "Vampire : Hurry! Hurry! Spike runs over to the orderly sprawled on the gourney. He goes through his pockets and grabs the security card. He uses it to free the vampire.", "Vampire : This way! They run down the hall and quickly run under the closing security door. They run into the next room where ops guys are coming out of an elevator.", "Spike : New plan! We split up. You go that way. He shoves the vampire into the ops guys and flees.", "Cut to Willow laying on her bed in the dorm room she and Buffy share. She's listening to depressing music looking mopey. There's a knock at the door.", "Willow : Come in. (RIely walks in.) Oh, Riley. Hi.", "Riley : Hi. Gee, I hope I'm not interrupting anything really depressing.", "Willow : What's up?", "Riley : (Looking nervous.) Right to the point, ok. I was thinking of asking out Buffy.", "Willow : She's not here.", "Riely : I know. (Willow spys Buffy's open bag o' weapons on the floor by her bed and looks alarmed.) See, I don't know that much about Buffy. But I'm interested in what she likes, and so far, well, the only thing that I know she likes is you.", "Willow : What--what do you want me to do? (She's gotten up and headed towards Buffy's bag.)", "Riely : Just tell me something. Anything. Just give me a clue to-- (He notices Willow trying to subtly nudge the bag under the bed with her foot.) Here, let me help you with that. (He scotches the bag under the bed.) Just something that will start us talking, you know? (Willow returns to her bed and Riley sits on Buffy's.) I'm thinking that \"how 'bout them broncos\" won't really cut it.", "Willow : Ok, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition.", "Riley : (Looking a bit put out, but is glib.) Yep, that's the plan.", "Willow : I figured it was.", "Riley : Oh. Look, if you want to tell me to go to hell, that's ok. Maybe this is the last thing you want to talk about. I just feel that, well, I've never courted anyone like Buffy before. I don't think I've ever met anyone like Buffy before.", "Willow : Why should I trust you?", "Riley : Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.", "Willow : I've seen host faces before. They usually come attached to liars.", "Riley : All right. I guess I'm not gonna win, here. And I appreciate you wanting to protect your friend. (He gets up to leave.) I guess, uh, she kind of brings that out in people. (Thinks of the damage he did to Parker probably.)", "Willow : She likes cheese.", "Riley : What? Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... She likes cheese.", "Riley : That's a start.", "Willow : She has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo, loves ice capades without the irony, and she's dragging me to this party tonight at lowell house.", "Riley : Oh, you're going? That's my house. I live there. (He sits on Willow's bed, encouraged.)", "Willow : Well, it'll give you a chance to interact, but don't get fresh.", "Riely : Fresh? I don't even know if we like each other yet. Hey, does she ever talk about me? Like, has she ever said...", "Willow : Sorry.", "Riley : That's discouraging. Still, I feel like I have a fighting chance with my new accomplice.", "Willow : I'm not your accomplice.", "Riley : No, no. Of course not.", "Willow : I'm not.", "Riley : You're not.", "Willow : We're clear.", "Riley : We're clear.", "Cut to Harmony listening to teeny-bob techno, hanging up a frilly unicorn poster in a crypt. Spike enters the room.", "Harmony : Spike? Spike, is that really you? (He walks up to her.)", "Spike : It's me, baby. Your man is-- (Harmony slaps him across the face.) back.", "Harmony : b*st*rd. You dumped me and staked me and hurt me and left me--", "Spike : I know, sugar, but you're forgetting one other thing I did. (He gets a touchy feely look.) I missed you.", "Harmony : Really? (He holds up his arms, in a \"Well here I am,\" sort of way.) Oh! Just don't ever do that to me again. (She leaps into his arms hugging him.)", "Spike : Oh, never, my little foam latte. Your blondie bear is here to stay.", "Harmony : Well, where have you been? (Spike strolls over to a wicked looking double bladed weaponry ax. He swings it around a bit.) No, wait. Don't tell me. I'm just glad you're back. And this time, it's for good, right? (He tosses aside the ax.)", "Spike : Oh, forever and ever, mon petite creme brulee. (He picks up another vicious looking weapon, this time an exceptionally long dagger. He tosses this aside too.)", "Harmony : Ooh. Italian.", "Spike : Uh, yeah, and get used to it. Big daddy's home. We're gonna go wherever you want, do whatever you want, (He picks up yet another weapon this one a long sword like thing with a hook on the end.) kill whoever you want. Starting with the slayer. (Harmony looks irritated as Spike tosses aside his current weapon.) And after that, it's all you and me, my little mentholated pack of smokes. Harmony walks over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder.", "Harmony : Spikey. Let's leave the slayer alone. (She grabs his lapels.) You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.", "Spike : Ow! Uh, no, see, ow. (Harmony is grabbings his hair, getting cute.) The head, love. Watch the head. Whoa, watch it! (Harmony has jumped Spike.)", "Cut to Giles and Xander hiding in the woods.", "Xander: Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting For an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence. Never knowing which thought might be your last.", "Giles : Oh, shut up.", "Cut to Willow and Buffy walking into the party.", "Buffy : Looks cool.", "Willow : Uh-huh.", "Buffy : Look, we could go.", "Willow : No-no, we're here for fun.", "Buffy : Oh, look. Some of the guys are here already.", "Willow : I'm gonna grab a soda. I'll--I'll find you guys.", "Buffy : Ok. Willow playing secret agent gal walks over to wear Riley is standing. She leans against a pillar facing the opposite direction of Riely.", "Willow : Ok, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, But don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.", "Riley : So what do I do?", "Willow : Ask her to dance.", "Riley : Right. Dance. Wait. No.", "Willow : What's the matter? (She turns to face him.)", "Riley : I can't dance.", "Williow : Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun. (She pats him on the shoulder.) Riely walks off. We see Buffy standing in a circle of people. Riley makes his way through towards her.", "Riely : Excuse me. Hi.", "Buffy : Hi.", "Riley : Um...Buffy... (He pauses looking at a loss.) You do the reading on chapter 9?", "Buffy : Uh-huh. (She gives him a look.)", "Riley : Wow. Some theories, huh? Cheese? (He holds up a cube of cheese on a stick.)", "Cut to the woods. Xander sees things being thrown into a pile. Harmony walks out and begins to pour gas on the pile.", "Xander : Harmony.", "Harmony : Xander? (She walks towards him.)", "Xander : That's close enough. (She stops.) I'm warning you: I've been highly trained to put this through your heart. (He waves a stake around.) No mercy, no warning.", "Harmony : I can kill you where you stand.", "Xander : Bring it on, then. Harmony bitch slaps him.", "Xander : Ow! He kicks her in the shin.", "Harmony : Ow! You sissy kicker! She slaps him in the arm. The most girly fight ever on BTVS ensues. They slap at each other and circle each other in a menacing manner. More slapping without contact. They end up tangled up pulling each others hair.", "Xander : Get away! Aah! Cut it out!", "Harmony : Ow, I'm so gonna bite you!", "Xander : Ow... Ok, stop, stop! We should stop, ok?", "Harmony : Ok, I will if you will. Xander ; On the count of 3...", "Xander : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1...2...3!", "Harmony : Right, ok.", "Xander : Harmony, it's been great catching up. Really, I'm just gonna pick up the tattered shreds of my dignity and go home... Leaving you with your fire.", "Harmony : My fire? Yeah, right. Like I listen to the s*x pistols. Eww. This crap belongs to Spike.", "Xander : Spike?", "Harmony : Can you believe him? He comes back with all these big promises, not that I believed him, you know. But he could have spent one night, but, no. Everything was \"slayer this\" and \"slayer that.\" I mean, he probably already killed her. I'm not taking him back, I just...I just want to know why it is that men always... (She looks up and Xander has left to go warn Buffy.) Leave. Harmony pitches a lit match behind her. The pile of Spikes things go up in flames.", "Cut to Riley and Willow sitting on a couch at the party. Neither look very much in a party mood.", "Riley : I can't believe it. I choked.", "Willow : You really, really did.", "Riley : You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done.", "Willow : Well, you failed extremely well.", "Riley : That's a great comfort to me. We see Buffy doing a \"sexy dance\" with another guy.", "Willow : You need to relax. I mean, you're not proposing. You're just making contact, getting a reaction. Any reaction is ok, except projectile vomiting. But, what are the chances of that-- A Dingoes Ate My Babies song comes on. Willow gets a horrificly depressed look.", "Riley : Are you ok?", "Willow : This song...", "Riley : Oh, yeah, it's a tape of some bands from last year's party. Associations?", "Willow : Big.", "Riley : Bad? A.J.! (He makes a cutting motion. A.J. changes the music ignoring the murmer of protest from the crowd.)", "Willow : Thank you. Now go find Buffy.", "Riley : There's no hurry. I mean, if you want to talk.", "Willow : No, I... I want you to find Buffy and tell her that I went home and not to worry about me. Which at least will give you something to say.", "Riley : Thanks.", "Willow : You'll do fine. (She leaves and Riley journeys to find Buffy. He walks over to Buffy and puts his hand on her shoulder.)", "Buffy : Hey.", "Riley : Um, Willow said to say that she took off. (Buffy looks upset.) Oh, no, she's ok. Kind of blue, but she said not to worry.", "Buffy : Thank you.", "Riley : You know... I wanted to ask you something.", "Buffy : Ask away. Xander runs in interupting them.", "Xander : Buffy! I've been looking all over for you. We need... Need to talk, uh, not here. It's sort of... Unfinished business.", "Buffy : Business? Right. Uh, excuse us?", "Riley : No problem. Forrest walks up.", "Forrest : Denied.", "Riley : It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all.", "Forrest : We need you downstairs, anyway. (They head downstairs.) You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked s*x.", "Riley : Is that necessary? They stand in front of a mirror and a glowing green light scans them.", "Forrest : I'm protecting you, buddy. I don't want to see you mooning over some freshman for the next 3 months.", "Computer: Retinal scan accepted. They enter the elevator that opens up in the wall.", "Riley : I like her.", "Graham : I'm on your side, here.", "Riley : I know you are, Graham. That's what gives me the strength to put up with this comedian.", "Forrest : Dude, straight tip: I know girls.", "Riley : Exactly! Girls, plural. I'm talkin' about one girl. (He leans into a microphone.) One girl.", "Computer: Initiative vocal code match complete. Special agent Finn, Riley. Identity number 75329.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "They enter the massive under ground bat cave like facility that is the headquarters of the Initiative.", "Riley : The problem is, what kind of girl is gonna go out with a guy who's acting all joe regular by day and then turns all demon-hunter by night?", "Graham: Maybe a peculiar one.", "Riley: Thank you, Graham. You see, forrest? You don't have to be so negative all the time. Hold up. Situation? They walk over to where Prof. Walsh is standing in a white lab coat.", "Walsh : Gentlemen, suit up. We have a code red. Hostile 17 has escaped.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Walsh: Here's what we know, and it isn't much: Hostile 17 broke restraints at exactly 2:47 P.M.", "Graham, Forrest and Riley are almost done putting on thier gear.", "Forrest: That's a big head start.", "Walsh : Gets bigger every time you interrupt me. It was bagged and tagged locally, so assume it knows the area. The creature has every advantage right now. Fail to recapture it, and everything we've worked for-- The initiative itself-- could end tonight.", "Riely : Nobody's failin' on my watch.", "Walsh : Glad to hear it. Gentlemen, agent Finn is now in charge of this operation. I'm counting on you, Riley.", "Riley : We start with the basic mobilization pattern. 3 Teams. Sweep and search, just like practice. Thorough but fast. C-team: Take the campus perimeter. Make sure it can't leave. Stake it if you gotta, but only as a last resort. B-team: You're going down. Tunnels, sewers, cemeteries. Gates and miller are with me. We take the heart of campus and work our way out. All units, maintain radio contact early and often. Who's got questions? Move!", "Cut to Giles apartment where Buffy, Xander and Giles are gathered.", "Buffy: What is wrong with him? Doesn't spike get that this is my town?", "Giles : He's resilient.", "Buffy : And it's my night off.", "Xander : I'm sure he'd pick another night if he knew you were busy with teutonic boy toy.", "Buffy: What is that supposed to mean?", "Xander : Nothing.", "Buffy : Riley's a doof. He's not teutonic.", "Giles: We have to assume that Spike's main target is you, Buffy.", "Buffy: Fine. You know what? He's worn out his welcome. Tonight, I kill him.", "Giles : You have a plan?", "Buffy : I am the plan. If spike wants me, I go alone... No arguments. Lead him away from the popular places and give him what he wants. Buffy gets up to leave and Xander goes after her.", "Xander : Oh, wait, wait! Take this. He gives her a flare gun.", "Buffy : A flare gun? Xander, if I find spike, I'm staking him, not signalling ships at sea.", "Xander : You get into trouble...", "Buffy : Ok. I'll flare.", "Xander : And we'll come a-runnin'. (Buffy leaves.) Do you think Spike'll find her?", "Giles : I'm sure of it.", "Cut to Spike sitting at a computer. He's scrolling down a list of student dorm names and thier housing. He reaches Buffy's name.", "Spike : Hello, gorgeous.", "Cut to the woods where Graham, Forrest and Riley are leaving a wooden shed type thing. They walk to a clearing where they see Buffy sitting on a park bench alone through binoculars.", "Riley : What've we got?", "Graham : Civilian, sir. Graham gives him his binoculars and Riley looks through them recognising Buffy.", "Riley : Ah, damn.", "Forrest : She's compromising the area. At least she's not making crazy, naked s*x.", "Riely : Told you. We gotta clear her outta there... Fast.", "Forrest : Maybe not. Just thinking. If you were hostile 17, living off the crap we feed 'em, what would you rather eat than that?", "Riley : You wanna use the girl I got a crush on as bait?", "Forrest : I can tag a hostile at 50 yards.", "Riley : Denied.", "Forrest : She'd be safe the entire--", "Riley : I said denied, agent.", "Forrest : Did you just pull rank on me?", "Riley : Do you have a problem with that?", "Forrest : No, sir. So, how're we gonna get her out of there? Riley, no longer wearing kevlar walks up to where Buffy is sitting on the bench.", "Buffy : Riley! What are you doing here?", "Riley : Well, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you after the party. You left so fast. You know, with your friend... Who's a boy.", "Buffy : Uh, xander? He's not anyone that I... Want to talk about, right now. Um... You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way... It's just, um... I need a little alone time now... Alone.", "Riley : Why?", "Buffy : I need space.", "Riley : We're outdoors.", "Buffy : Emotionally. (She pauses looking for something better to say and gives up.)I mean, emotionally...", "Riley : You know, there's plenty of space back in your room why don't I take you? You wouldn't believe the weirdos out at this hour. He starts to lead her off.", "Buffy : Whoa! Ok... It's a free campus. Who died and made you John Wayne?", "Riley : I'm just trying to help.", "Buffy : You think I need help? Believe me, I don't. You know, if you were a real gentleman, then you would just leave. You would go far, far away, now! Shoo!", "Riley : Are you drunk?", "Buffy : Yes! Go and report me.", "Riley : I'm taking you home. Come on. He goes to grab her and lead her off.", "Buffy : Oh, did you ever think maybe I'm gonna take you home, huh? What? You think that boys can take care of themselves and girls need help?", "Riley : Yeah.", "Buffy : That is so teutonic.", "Riley : Look, Buffy, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.", "Buffy : Well, as long as you're out here, I'm staying. They hear a scream.", "Riley : Gotta go.", "Buffy : See ya! They both run off in opposite directions.", "Riley : Tell me we're tracking. They're looking a some sort of tracking device.", "Graham : Honing a signal. Got it... Heading west. Better be the hostile.", "Forrest: All units converge, all units converge. Hard target sighted. Heading 1-2 alpha niner. Let's bag it before this gets ugly.", "Cut to Willow and Buffy's dorm room. Willow's moping again on her bed listening to sad music. There's a knock at the door.", "Willow : Come in. (Spike walks in. Willow is immediatly alarmed and gets up.) Spike! Wh-what do you want? Uh, a spell? I can do that. She goes to run past him, but he grabs her and and throws her against her dresser.", "Spike : I'll give you a choice. (He walks over to her.) Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... Or... Bring you back, to be like me.", "Willow : I--I'll scream.", "Spike : Bonus. Willow screams. Spike throws her on the bed and then turns the radio up to a blaring level.", "Willow: No! Spike jumps on her and they battle but he goes to bite her.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "Spike : I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before. (He's sitting on Willow's bed.)", "Willow : Maybe you were nervous.", "Spike : I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. (He leaps on her and draws back immediatly. He tries again and the same thing happens.) Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it! (He gets up and kicks the dresser. He starts to pace around the room.)", "Willow : Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?", "Spike : Not to me, it doesn't!", "Willow : It's me, isn't it?", "Spike : What are you talking about?", "Willow : Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around.", "Spike : Piffle!", "Willow : I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, \"ooh, you're like a sister to me,\" or, \"oh, you're such a good friend.\"", "Spike : Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.", "Willow : Really?", "Spike sits on her bed again.", "Spike : Thought about it.", "Willow : When?", "Spike : Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?", "Willow : I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.", "Spike : Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and \"rrrr!\" Takes the mystery out.", "Willow : But if you could...", "Spike : If I could, yeah.", "Willow : You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.", "Spike : Don't patronize me.", "Cut to the outside of Willow's dorm. Graham, Forrest and Riley are hiding in the bushes, peering at a tempeture senor.", "Graham: I'm getting a picture... Signature's locked.", "Riely : What've we got?", "Graham : Humans of the freshman variety. 98.6, 98.6... Bingo! Got a cold one. Thermal output clockin' in at exactly... Room temperature. Vampire. Call in a standard triangle flanking maneuver.", "Riley : We're going in. I need a lockdown on grid 6.", "Spike : I'm only 126.", "Willow : You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again? Or... (She picks up a lamp and smashes it over his head. She runs over to her door and tries to leave, but it's locked.) The lights go out outside in the hall. Riley, Graham and Forrest run in the dorm wearing night vision goggles. They race up the stairs and when they reach the top students scramble out of thier way. They head down the hall and reach Willow's room. They bust the door down and Willow races out knocking them out of the way. One of them points the tranquilizer gun at Willow.", "Riley: No, hold your fire! Spike rushes out and slams Graham into a wall. Willow cowers in a corner. Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a sevre burst of pain.", "Graham: It's on me! (Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a sevre burst of pain.)", "Spike: Aah!", "Commando : Move! Spike struggles but is eventually contained.", "Commando : Bag it, tag it. We're gone. Sir... Civilian. Could have turned. (Referring to Willow cowering in a corner.)", "Riely : Leave her.", "Commando : We can't neglect quarantine, sir! Spike breaks free. He grabs a fire extingusher and smashes a commando with it. Another goes to shoot him, but he holds up the extinguisher and it's shot, which makes the hall fill with CO2 gas. Willow crawls towards her room.", "Commando : Stop her! A commando grabs her.", "Commando : She's contained.", "Buffy: Contain this! (The commando who has Willow turns around and is blinded as his night vision goggles are overloaded when Buffy shoots off the flare gun. The flare bounces around the room.)", "All: Aah! Ow! I'm blind! What the hell was that? The commandos tear off thier goggles. Buffy shooes Willow into thier room. Buffy begins to fight the commandos. (Neither she nor Riley recognize each other. Riley is blnded and Buffy doesn't recognize him because of the disguise of his gear and face mask.) Buffy is redireced into a wall by Riley. Spike sees a way to escape and does. Buffy gets up and dodges a kick, then a punch and then reciptorcated and lands a punch. She gets him in a corner and lands about a dozen quickly repeated punches on his stomach. He get ahold of himself, then punches Buffy in the face. She flies back. Cut to Spike who runs down the hall and jumps out a window. Graham and Forrest follow him, but stop at the window. Cut back to Buffy and Riley fighting. Buffy is redirected into a wall. She gets up and slams him in the face with a folding chair. She delivers a roundhouse kick and flips him over onto the floor. He gets up and through his hazy vision relizes there's something amiss.", "Riley : Abort!", "Cut to the Initiative facility.", "Walsh : I'm sure you'll understand if I seem far from happy.", "Riley: Yes, ma'am. If you read my report you'll see--", "Walsh : Hostile 17's found an accomplice who's smart, aggressive, and somehow escapes description.", "Forrest : Whoever he was, the guy was big.", "Graham : Strong, too.", "Riley : Whoever... Or whatever.", "Walsh: I'm not interested in guess work, gentlemen. Call me old-fashioned. I like results. This report reads like a child's riddle book. Agent Finn, tell me something good. My implant?", "Riley : The implant works. Hostile 17 can't harm any living creature, In any way, without intense neurological pain. We'll bag it.", "Walsh : Yes, you will. Dismissed.", "Cut to the next day. Riley sees Buffy walking across the campus. He heads towards her.", "Riley : Hey.", "Buffy : Hi.", "Riley : Listen, sorry about last night.", "Buffy : No, no... I was rude. I just felt like being alone. Sometimes it's nice to be out by yourself at night.", "Riely : I hear that. Gotta be careful, though. Lotta strange... People out there.", "Buffy : Oh, yeah.", "Riley : How's willow doing?", "Buffy : Ok. 'Course, that stupid fraternity prank on our dorm didn't help any.", "Riley : That's right. I forgot you guys live in stevenson.", "Buffy : You knew that?", "Riley : Well, Willow and I were... I thought she might be able to help me on a project.", "Buffy : Really? That work out for you?", "Riley : Don't know yet.", "Buffy : Uh, last night... At the party, You wanted to tell me something?", "Riley : Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?", "Buffy : You're a little peculiar.", "Riley : I can live with that.", "BLACK OUT" ]

[ "Xander accidentally releases Hus (Tod Thawley), a Native American vengeance spirit . Angel secretly arrives in Sunnydale to protect Buffy (who is attempting a perfect Thanksgiving) from the spirit. Spike seeks the Scoobies' help." ]

[ "This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made. Prologue:", "Cut to a forresty area. We see a guy walking along. He pauses as a branch breaks nearby. He continues walking after a minute. He turns around and sees Buffy.", "Guy : Oh!", "Buffy : Looking for me?", "Guy : Holy--what do you want? Buffy punches him. The guy looks startled, then vamps out.", "Vampire : Uhh! Hey!", "Buffy : Look who's home?", "Vampire : A slayer. Why don't you just go back where you came from? Things were great before you came. Buffy punches him again, then kicks him. He goes down and as he gets he backhands her in the stomach. She backhands him in the face and he hits the ground. As he's getting up she grabs him from behind and stakes him.", "Buffy : And they say one person can't make a difference. We then pan to where Angel can be seen hiding in the foiliage. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~", "Cut to a lawn outside a building site. We see the dean on a podium making a speech. There is a small gathering watching.", "Dean guerrero: Of all the duties of a dean, one of the most pleasant is to see a colleague realize a dream. Ladies, gentlemen, students, I present to you professor Gerhardt of the anthropology department. Prof Gerhardt replaces the dean at the podium.", "Gerhardt : When I first realized we were outgrowing our current cultural center, I was concerned. Then I realized It was like seeing one's child grow up and move on to better things. In this case, a spacious new facility to be built on this site...", "Cut to where Buffy, Willow and Anya are standing together. Xander is at the site as a construciton worker.", "Anya : Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine?", "Buffy : You mean guerrero or his wife?", "Willow : I think she means... (Referring to Xander who's waiting to begin digging.)", "Buffy : Oh. Very manly. Not at all village people. (Yes, very village people, actually.) So much sexier than the outfit from his last job.", "Willow : Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks.", "Anya : I'm imagining having s*x with him right now. Back to Gerhardt continuing her speech.", "Gerhardt : And that's why it's appropriate that the ground-breaking for the uc sunnydale cultural partnership center is taking place so soon before thanksgiving. Because that's what the melting pot is about-- Contributions from all cultures, making our culture stronger...", "Cut to the girls again, Buffy begins to clap but stops as Willow interjects.", "Willow : What a load of horse hooey.", "Buffy : We have a counterpoint?", "Willow : Yeah. Thanksgiving isn't about blending of 2 cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.", "Buffy : Ok. Now, for some of that, you were channeling your mother?", "Willow : Well, yeah, sort of. That's why she doesn't celebrate thanksgiving or columbus day-- You know, the destruction of the indigenous peoples. I know it sounds a little overwrought, but really, she's...She's right.", "Buffy : Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it that way. With mom at aunt darlene's this year, I'm not getting a thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well.", "Anya : Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.", "Buffy : It's not really a one of those.", "Anya : To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie. Back to the professor's speech.", "Gerhardt : ...And thus, a symbolic beginning. She goes over and commences with the ground breaking ceremony.", "Anya : (Inscensed.) What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig.", "Buffy : That's part's just ceremonial.", "Anya : Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh. Look, there he goes. (We see Xander begin digging in earnest. She sighs.) Look at him.", "Willow : Very...Diggy.", "Anya : Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having s*x with him again.", "Buffy : Imaginary Xander is quite the machine. Xander is still digging when suddenly the ground breaks away beneath him. He plumments to an underground chamber.", "Xander : Uhh! Ow. I'm ok! I'm, uh... I'm ok! (He looks around.) Where am I okay? We see Angel in the shadows hiding behind trees again. He's staring up at Buffy's window. Cut to Buffy and Willow's room.", "Willow : While they were pulling Xander out, I heard a couple of the anthro professors talking about it. Man, were they excited. It's the old sunnydale mission, which everyone thought was lost.", "Buffy : (Staring out the window.) Huh?", "Willow : Is there something out there?", "Buffy : Hmm? Oh. No. I'm sorry. A lost mission. I mean, a hairbrush I can understand. And by the way, I will find that and get that back to you. But how do you lose a mission?", "Willow : Huge earthquake in 1812. Everyone just assumed the mission was leveled. Instead, they built right over it. It's like what happened in the thirties with that church the master was in. Doesn't it make you wonder what else is there, like, right under our feet?", "Buffy : Mostly, I've just found sewers full of demons.", "Willow : Oh, right. (Outside we hear students running mad through the halls with excitement.) Man, it's crazy out there.", "Buffy : Mm-hmm. Post-midterm frenzy. And the holiday. Everyone's going home.", "Willow : It looks like a lot of lucky moms are gonna be getting brimming baskets of dirty laundry.", "Buffy : It's so not fair. I mean, they all get a family holiday just because they can go home to their families.", "Willow : Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world.", "Buffy : You know what? I should have my own thanksgiving. I can cook the meal, just like my mom does, have all you guys over. It'll be great.", "Willow : Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death.", "Buffy : It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.", "Willow : You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.", "Buffy : I know... But I want it. It's like professor Walsh was saying about sense memory. I smell a roasting turkey, and I'm 8 years old. I liked having that to look forward to. Everything's different now.", "Willow : Well, I suppose there could be slight yams.", "Buffy : I mean, we could definitely use a little comfort food. I bet giles doesn't have any plans. And Xander always tries to avoid all of his family gatherings.", "Willow : Ooh. We could not invite anya.", "Buffy : I don't know. She and xander seem pretty tight lately. Look, pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of thanksgiving-- Everybody has a place to go?", "Cut to Spike walking around the forrest, wearing a blanket looking desolate. Cut to Riley, Graham and Forrest in commando gear, patrolling the forrest looking for Spike.", "Forrest : Man, I'm beat.", "Riley : We'll do one more sweep, then cash it in.", "Forrest : I gotta pack tonight. You got a flight?", "Riley : Wednesday night. Professor walsh wants me here for the debriefing.", "Forrest : That's a pretty short thanksgiving.", "Riley : Hey, with a hostile on the loose, we're lucky to be going home at all.", "Forrest : It's neutered. The implant works great. He can't hurt a single living thing.", "Riley : As long as he knows about the initiative, he's a threat. We do this the professor's way.", "Forrest : (Coughing the words.) Mama's boy.", "Riley : That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine.", "Forrest : Oh, no. I'm done coughing.", "Riley : I just don't want anyone getting sick. (He pats Forrest on the arm.)", "Cut to Xander's basement/room. Anya comes in as Xander is finishing dressing for work. He looks worn out.", "Anya : Xander, what are you doing? You're supposed to be digging. I went to watch you digging, and you weren't there doing it.", "Xander : I'm going now. Just...Kinda tough getting going today.", "Anya : (Feeling his forehead.) Your head is moist. Oh! You're sick. Well, you can't go to work.", "Xander : (Anya pushes him back on the bed.) Uh. Oh. Anya?", "Anya : You're pasty and wet and disgusting. They can dig without you.", "Xander : (Groaning.) Look-- I don't really feel that bad.", "Anya : I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon, and you look like you're getting all of them.", "Xander : (Giving in.) Ok. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.", "Anya : (Perkily.) We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off. (She begins to undress him.)", "Xander : You're a strange girlfriend.", "Anya : I'm a girlfriend?", "Xander : Uh...There's a chance I'm delirious.", "Anya : Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick, so far, I like it.", "Cut to the Professor Gerhardt on the phone.", "Gerhardt : It's a very exciting opportunity. I can't wait to go down there myself. It's just...Well, it's means we're going to have to start looking for a new location. ... No, it's really up to the dean. ... I just hope this doesn't cost us another year. ... Ok. Talk to you later. We see green smoke coalesing around an ancient knife. The professor inspects it and the smoke turns into a native american. He grabs the knife, seizes the professor and slits her throat. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Willow and Buffy are inspecting the site of the professors death.", "Willow : I'll never get used to this. One day, she's at the friendship ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The coroner's office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, Maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.", "Buffy : That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.", "Willow : Or...Or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that--it's, like, building another demon completely out of ears. Or...Ooh. Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like van gogh?", "Buffy : So...She brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?", "Willow : No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body-- I'm really off my game, aren't I?", "Buffy : Yeah. Wait. Something's missing from this case. (She reads the inscription.) \"Early 1800 chumash knife.\" There's a picture.", "Willow : What's it look like?", "Cut to Buffy in Giles kitchen getting the food ready for thanksgiving dinner.", "Buffy : Pretty darn scary. It more like a riot than a ralph's.", "Buffy : I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling.", "Giles : And at some point, you are going to tell me about the murder?", "Buffy : Oh, right. The knife was some sort of indian artifact. Chumash, I think. That's all we got.", "Giles : Oh, chumash indians. They were indigenous to this whole area.", "Buffy : That's interesting.", "Giles : Then, of course, the murder weapon might have just been a convenient choice.", "Buffy : Uh-uh. There was a big ol' scissors lying right there. That knife was picked for a reason. Do you even own a turkey pan?", "Giles : Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house.", "Buffy : Giles, if you would like to get by in american society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless.", "Giles : And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the cleanup?", "Buffy : How about that ceremonial knife, huh? Pretty juicy piece of clueage, don't you think?", "Giles : Yes, all right, I'll look into the chumash connection and see if there's any ritual significance to the ear removal.", "Buffy : Thank you. (Buffy pauses looking lost in thought.)", "Giles : You all right?", "Buffy : Yeah. Uh... I still need to pick up a few things, so I'll check in. And keep your hands off the food.", "Giles : Oh, I'll try and restrain myself from eating uncooked potatoes and cranberries. Buffy leaves and Angel walks out from a room in the back of the apartment.", "Giles : So, what do you think?", "Angel : She sounds good. Kind of intense about this thanksgiving thing.", "Giles : I think perhaps she's a little lonely, but I meant about the murder.", "Angel : Whatever killed the woman in the museum, that's probably the danger.", "Giles : Yeah, well, this danger, your friend has some ominous vision about Buffy. It's all terribly vague. I mean, there are other things happening on this campus.", "Angel : Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I gotta try something. I can't just keep watching.", "Gilse : I'm glad that you're watching out for her, but I feel I should remind you that she's not helpless and it's not your job to keep her safe.", "Angel : It's not yours anymore, either. Are you going to walk away?", "Giles : All right. But I feel we should tell her. I don't like keeping this secret.", "Angel : No. If she knew I was here, it was distract her. It could get her hurt. I don't want to get in the way.", "Giles : Um, I'm assuming that there's some connection to the old mission. Something is angry about being disturbed.", "Angel : Or maybe it was trapped there, and now it's released. Something that has a fondness for ancient weapons. You know father gabriel?", "Giles : No.", "Angel : He knows the history of this place pretty well. His family dates back to mission times. He might be able to fill in some blanks.", "Giles : Ok. Well, I'll see about contacting him. Where are you going?", "Angel : To watch her.", "Giles : It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you?", "Angel : Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels.", "Cut to Willow and Buffy walking along outside, in the business district.", "Willow : But you have whipped cream. I saw it in giles' fridge.", "Buffy : But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself.", "Willow : Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep.", "Buffy : Ok. It's the last thing. I promise. Besides, I have an appointment with that priest that Giles called about. He thinks he might have some information.", "Riley: (Runs up to them.) Buffy? Hey, Buffy.", "Buffy : Riley. Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all.", "Riley : Oh, just across the street... And a couple of blocks down. Hey, willow.", "Willow : Hi. Well, I'm just gonna let you two... Look, they're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum. (She runs into the coffee shop and into Angel. He grabs her and covers her mouth with his hand. She's trying to talk through it and it comes out garbled.) Oh! Angel-- evil! You're all evil again.", "Angel : I'm not evil. I'm here to help Buffy. (He removes his hand and lets her go.)", "Willow : What's going on?", "Angel : My friend had a vision. Buffy's in danger.", "Willow : So tell her. Help her.", "Angel : If she sees me, it'll be worse.", "Willow : See, I don't get that, all this \"leaving for her own good\" garbage. Because that's what it is. You can't just give up because there's obstacles. What kind--", "Angel : (Interupting her tirade.) Willow.", "Willow : Sorry. My stuff.", "Angel : You know how I feel about her. If there was any way...", "Willow : Yeah. I know.", "Angel : It's just...Everything's different now.", "Willow : Hey, is cordelia really working for you? 'Cause that's gotta be a special experience. Of all the people you could've hired.", "Angel : Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff.", "Willow : Right. Well, how can I help?", "Angel : Well, if you can just tell me... (Looking out the window. He sees Buffy and Riley chatting.) Who's that guy?", "Cut to outside where Buffy and Riley are talking.", "Buffy : It'll be just like it was when I was a kid. Only without me building a fort out of my mashed potatoes.", "Riley : Sounds like fun.", "Buffy : It will be. Um, you know, if you don't already have plans... You should come. I'm a great cook... In theory. I've eaten a lot.", "Riley : That sounds so great, but I'm outta here tonight. I caught a last-minute flight back to Iowa.", "Buffy : Iowa. That's one of the ones in the middle, right?", "Riley : My folks are there. We always do thanksgiving at my grandparents' house. A little farm outside Huxley.", "Buffy : Sounds nice.", "Riley : It is. After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. There's trees and... And I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a grant wood painting.", "Buffy : Exactly. If I knew who that was.", "Riley : Just a guy who painted stuff that looked like where I grew up.", "Buffy : Well, have fun at the homestead.", "Riley : Always do. What's the line? Home's the place that, when you have to go there...", "Buffy : They have to take you in.", "Cut to Harmony's crypt. She's advancing towards Spike yelling at him.", "Harmony : Get out.", "Spike : (Leaning against a wall.) But, baby, this is where I belong.", "Harmony : (Pointing.) Out. I mean it. I've been doing a lot of reading, and I'm in control of my own power now, so we're through. She backs up as Spike advances towards her. He grabs her abruptly. He begins to kiss her shoulder. She looks uncertain.", "Spike : You don't mean that.", "Harmony : Yes, I do. I...I do. (Spike picks her up and carrys her over to the bed.) I mean it a lot.", "Spike : See? I knew you'd end up welcoming be back (He begins to stroke her legs.) With open...Arms. (He leans into kiss her.)", "Harmony : No. (She pushes him away.) I'm powerful, and I'm beautiful, and I don't need you to complete me. (She goes around the bed and lifts the matress revealing a stake which she grabs.) And you're mean. (She stands up holding the stake up.)", "Spike : (Backpedeling, then falling off the bed.) You had that in our bed? Do you know how dangerous that is?", "Harmony : (Advancing on him.) Let's find out.", "Spiek : You wouldn't do it. (Backing up as she walks towards him still wielding the stake.)", "Harmony : You did it to me, remember?", "Spike : All right. All right, I'll go. Just-- (He falls.)", "Harmony : What?", "Spike : Can I have someone to eat? She goes to stake him and he runs off. Cut to the outside of a church. Inside we see Buffy walking around.", "Buffy : Father gabriel? Father gabriel? (She goes through a set of double doors.) Father? Are you out here? (She sees the indian in the middle of slicing the throat of the priest he's hung.) God. Buffy runs the rest of the way to the indian and punches him in the stomach. She then redirects him a few feet away. He gets up to a defensive crouch, in a fighting stance.", "Indian : You can't stop me.", "Buffy : You're very wrong about that. He rushes her again, but she sidesteps him and redirects him forward, which makes him slam his head into a conviently low hung bell. He lands a few feet back, gets up and tries to slice Buffy with his knife. She dodges back again. He tries to punch her and she dodges, making him hit an ornemental stand.", "Hus : Yaugh! (They fall and he is on top of her, wielding a knife.) I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice.", "Buffy : They tell you to start an ear collection? (She kicks high, which throws him off. She rolls over, punching him, then slams his knife arm into a tree but he doesn't let go. He punches her, but she kicks the legs out from under him. She grabs him and he's stuck holding his knife to his throat.)", "Hus : You slaughtered my people. Now you kill their spirit. This is a great day for you. She shoves him away and he gets up. Then he turns into a group of bats and they fly off.", "[SCENE_BREAK]", "~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~", "Cut to Buffy and Giles in his kitchen again. They're back to getting dinner ready. Buffy's checking the settings on the stove and Giles peeling vegetables in the sink.", "Giles : It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for indian spirits to change to animal form.", "Buffy : It's plenty uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy, I was ready for the take-down, and I stopped. And native american.", "Giles : Sorry?", "Buffy : We don't say \"indian.\"", "Giles : Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as \"bloody colonials.\"", "Buffy : And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men-- evil. You know, \"straight up, black hat, \"Tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis\" bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture.", "Giles : This spirit warrior-- hus, you called him-- Has killed innocent people.", "Buffy : Ok. You know what? We need to boil those and put them through the ricer.", "Giles : I don't think I have a ricer.", "Buffy : You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?", "Giles : Well, do you have one at home?", "Buffy : I don't know. What's a ricer?", "Giles : We'll mash them with forks, much like the pilgrims must have. Did you catch the part about the innocent people?", "Buffy : Yes. Ok? And I do want to stop him. I'd just like to find a non-slayee way to do it. There's a knock at the door. Buffy opens it and we see Willow standing with a huge pile of books.", "Buffy : Hey.", "Willow : Hey.", "Buffy : Peas?", "Willow : Peas. Buffy takes the small box of peas leaving Willow to struggle with a mound of books.", "Buffy : These are frozen.", "Giles : What's all that?", "Willow : Atrocities. I got the full poop on the chumash indians and our fabulous buried mission.", "Buffy : You said you were going to get fresh ones.", "Willow : Atrocities?", "Buffy : Peas. They come in little pods. You were going to shell them.", "Willow : I didn't have time. I was busy reading about the chumash war.", "Giles : The chumash were peaceful.", "Willow : Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens, till we came along.", "Buffy : They're gonna be mushy.", "Willow : They won't be mushy.", "Giles : I like mushy peas.", "Buffy : You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place. So what happened to the chumash?", "Willow : How about imprisonment, forced labor, herded like animals into a mission full of bad european diseases.", "Buffy : Boy. Cultural partnership center really didn't stress any of that stuff.", "Willow : Not even a diorama. And it gets better. The few chumash who tried to rebel were hanged. And when a group was accused of stealing cattle, they were killed-- Men, women, and children. And for proof to bring back to their accusers...", "Giles : They cut off their ears?", "Buffy : So hus wasn't kidding about the rightful vengeance routine.", "Giles : He's recreating all the wrongs done to his people. And it's up to us to stop him.", "Buffy : Yes, but after dinner, right?", "Willow : Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him?", "Giles : No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder.", "Willow : Well, ok, no, but we should be helping him redress his wrongs. Bring the atrocities to light.", "Giles : If the history books are full of them, I'd say they already are.", "Willow : Giving his land back.", "Giles : It's not exactly ours to give.", "Willow : I don't think you wanna help. I think you just wanna slay the demon, then go-- La la la", "Giles : And I think your sympathy for his plight has blinded you to certain urgent facts. We have to stop this thing.", "Willow : Ok, unfeeling guy.", "Giles : Willow, that's not fair.", "Buffy : (Running to the kitchen.) I have to baste.", "Giles : Willow, I-- (in hushed tones)I have reason to believe buffy herself may be in particular danger from this menace.", "Willow : You mean... Angel? I saw him, too.", "Giles : That's not terribly stealthy of him.", "Willow : I think he's lost his edge.", "Giles : But buffy doesn't know.", "Willow : Oh, no, not a peep.", "Giles : Well, that's good, but this is why I think we should all keep a level head in this.", "Willow : And I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of. There is another knock at the door. Giles opens it and Anya and Xander are there.", "Xander : Happy thanksgiving.", "Giles : Xander. You look like death.", "Willow : Are you ok?", "Buffy : You didn't bring rolls? Xander and Anya walk in. Xander lays on the couch and Anya tends to them.", "Xander : The doctor couldn't figure out was up with me. He said I had a lot of symptoms that didn't connect.", "Buffy : I think they do connect.", "Xander : What, to this chumash spirit vengeance guy?", "Buffy : Didn't you say the chumash got all diseased when they were all holed up in the mission?", "Willow : Yeah. This has a better account of everything. It lists the various--", "Xander : Various? As in...", "Willow : Well, the important thing is not to panic.", "Xander : You just recited the mystical panic-causing incantation, so little hope there. Let's talk about the various.", "Willow : Well, they did suffer from malaria, some smallpox--", "Anya : I was gonna say smallpox.", "Willow : (Softly mumbly) You know, syphilis, but basically--", "Xander : (In shock.) Syphilis?", "Willow : Well, but this is probably mystical, and it'll all go away as soon as--", "Xander : As soon as what?", "Willow : We still don't know what we're gonna do. Well, maybe I can find something. Let's give him some land.", "Giles : I'm sure that'll clear everything right up.", "Willow : Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, giles.", "Giles : It's sort of an end in itself.", "Xander : Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?", "Anya : (Stroking his forehead.) It'll make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The smallpox will.", "Willow : Maybe there's a wiccan spell that can cure it. Something regular medicine doesn't know. Ooh, there was a potion. (She looks through a book and pulls out a piece of paper and begins reading.) Sage, salt...Onion?", "Buffy : That's the stuffing.", "Xander : Oh, god.", "Anya : Uh, you're gonna get vesicles and pustules. They have pictures. (Tries to show him the book.)", "Xander : I hate this guy.", "Willow : He's just doing what was done to him.", "Xander : I didn't give him syphilis.", "Giles : No, but you freed his spirit, and after a century of unrest, he saw you as one of his oppressors.", "Xander : What, so he rises up and infects the first guy he sees? That's no fair.", "Willow : Like you've never woken up cranky?", "Giles : But why the others? Why them particularly?", "Xander : So we take this guy out. Buffy, it is for to be slaying sometime soon, yeah?", "Buffy : (Looking up from her stirring.) That's sort of the question before the court.", "Xander : Question?", "Willow : There are 2 sides to it.", "Xander : Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes yea.", "Willow : It's not that simple.", "Xander : He's a vengeance demon. You don't talk to vengeance demons. You kill them.", "Anya : (Drawing back.) I didn't know you felt that way.", "Xander : (Totally confused.) What?", "Willow : Anyway, he's a spirit, not a demon.", "Giles : Yes, and we've never faced this sort of spirit before. We really don't know what will kill it.", "Willow : Again with the killing.", "Giles : Figuratively speaking. Or bind it or whatever. Yes, willow, we all appreciate your perspective.", "Anya : Sometimes vengeance is justified.", "Xander : You know that I didn't mean you.", "Willow : I don't think anyone appreciates the truth of the situation.", "Giles : Oh, I think we do.", "Buffy : (Getting up abruptly holding the bowl.) This is no good! It needs more condensed milk. (She flees into the kitchen.)", "Giles : Buffy, xander's in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?", "Buffy : (Adding more condensed milk.) Over bickering and confusion, I'll take pie. We will find a solution. And we will have a nice dinner, ok? Both. End of story. I'm having thanksgiving, and it'll be perfect.", "Giles : Hus won't stop. Vengeance is never sated, buffy. Hatred is a cycle. All he will do is kill. There's a knock at the door. Buffy goes to answer it and Spike is standing there, cowering below a blanket. Smoke rises as he's being seared by the indirect sun.", "Spike : Help me. (Buffy shoves him back and he goes tumbling.) Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand?", "Buffy : The part where I help you.", "Spike : Come on, I'm parboiling out here.", "Buffy : (Giles hands her a stake.) Want me to help make it quicker?", "Spike : Invite me in.", "Giles : No. It's fairly unlikely.", "Spike : Oh, damn it! look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell' em what I did.", "Willow : You said you were gonna kill me, then buffy.", "Spike : Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you.", "Willow : It's true. He had trouble perfoing.", "Spike : Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um...", "Buffy : What are you saying?", "Spike : I'm saying that spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.", "Buffy : So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals.", "Spike : I've got information. About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?", "Cut to Hus performing a ritual to summon other spirits.", "Hus : First people who dwell in mishupashup, hear me and descend. Walk with me upon itiashup again. Hear me also, nunashush. Spirits from below... Creatures of the night... Take human form and join the battle. Bring me my revenge. We see a cloud of green smoke which turns into a dozen warriors. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~", "Cut to Spike sitting in a chair, being bound by rope by Buffy.", "Spike : G Grrr. Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation.", "Buffy : You don't have any circulation.", "Spike : Well, it pinches.", "Buffy : Get used to it. I have more important things to worry about.", "Spike : I came to you in friendship. (Buffy gives him a look.) Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information, and I feel I'm being mistreated.", "Buffy : So tell me everything you know.", "Spike : I'm too hungry to remember everything.", "Buffy : Then sit.", "Anya : (At the stove stirring a pot.) Uh, how much butter goes in with these?", "Buffy : About half a stick and a quarter cup of brandy. (To Giles.) You do have brandy, don't you?", "Giles : What? Oh, yes. Um, on the bookcase.", "Spike : I wouldn't say no to a brandy.", "Buffy : What's wrong?", "Giles : The victims. Apart from xander, Hus has targeted authority figures. Father gabriel, the curator of the cultural center. Who else fits this pattern?", "Buffy : Just a small brandy.", "Buffy : The dean. Dean guerrero. He's the king of us, And he was at the ceremony.", "Giles : Likely candidate. We should warn him.", "Buffy : Will, anything in those books about how to stop a native american spirit guy? Some nice, non-judgmental way to, you know, kill him?", "Willow : I'm not gonna help you kill him. I'm not on board.", "Buffy : What choice do we have?", "Willow : Buffy, this isn't a western. We're not at fort...Giles with the cavalry coming to save us. It's one lonely guy. Oppressed warrior guy who's just trying to...", "Buffy : Kill a lot of people?", "Willow : I didn't say he was right.", "Buffy : Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up-- (To Anya.) 1/4 Cup of brandy and let it simmer-- (To Willow.) But even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged, And I personally would be ready to apologize--", "Spike : Oh, someone put a stake in me.", "Xander : You got a lot of volunteers in here.", "Spike : I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians.", "Buffy : Uh, the preferred term--", "Spike : You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what caesar did, and he's not going around saying, \"I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it.\" The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.", "Buffy : Well, I think the spaniards actually did a lot of-- Not that I don't like spaniards.", "Spike : Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?", "Willow : We don't wanna fight anyone.", "Buffy : I just wanna have thanksgiving.", "Spike : Heh heh. Yeah...Good luck.", "Willow : If we could talk to him--", "Spike : You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.", "Xander : Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense.", "Giles : I made these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.", "Buffy : Fine, ok? But someone still has to go warn the dean.", "Willow : I'll go. I need the air.", "Buffy : Not alone.", "Anya : I'll go.", "Xander : Me, too.", "Buffy : Sure you're up to it?", "Spike : Oh, leave that one. He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead.", "Xander : (Getting up.) I'm up to it.", "Giles : I'll keep on looking for a solution.", "Buffy : Yeah. Guys, the dean's house is up past the gym. And hurry. Dinner's in an hour!", "Spike : Hey, when do I get fed?", "Buffy : Later. I hope the others are ok.", "Spike : You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed?", "Buffy : I always wondered that. Giles, plates.", "Spike : Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.", "Buffy : You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?", "Spike : Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.", "Buffy : Do I have to gag you? Because I am not gonna listen to you whine all the way through my dinner. It's gonna be a nice, quiet, civilized-- Suddenly an arrow pierces the decrotive scarecrow on the table. We see Hus in the window with a bow and arrow.", "Buffy : You. Listen, maybe I wasn't clear before about how terrible we all feel. 'Cause we're trying to help.", "Spike : What's going on?!", "Giles : It isn't working.", "Buffy : Uh, you can have casinos now.", "Giles : Get down! Giles and Buffy crouch behind the table as arrows rain through the window.", "Spike : What about me? You gonna leave me here like this? (An arrow hits him a few inches to the right of his heart.) Hey! Watch the heart! Willow, Anya and Xander are leaving the deans house.", "Anya : Well, that was a waste of time.", "Xander : I think he thought we were crazy.", "Willow : Maybe if anya hadn't opened the conversation with, \"Everybody got both ears?\"", "Anya : I liked his wife. She gave me pie.", "Willow : So what do we do now?", "Xander : We could stay here and stand watch, or I just don't--", "Angel : (Appearing before them. ) Willow.", "Xander : Angel?", "Anya : So this is angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?", "Xander : He's evil again.", "Angel : I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?", "Willow : Angel's here to protect buffy.", "Angel : I haven't been evil for a long time.", "Willow : She's not supposed to know he's here. Angel, do you have something new?", "Angel : Yeah. All the chumash weapons are missing from the cultural center. Something's up. Where's buffy?", "Willow : Still at giles'. She sent us to check on dean guerrero.", "Angel : Why the dean?", "Willow : We think he's going after someone in charge. A leader?", "Angel : He's a warrior. To a warrior, the leader means the strongest fighter.", "Willow : Buffy.", "Angel : He's formed a raiding party.", "Willow : We gotta get over there.", "Angel : I'll call her. You get back fast. He crouches down and snaps the chain lock on a bicycle. The phone rings at Giles. He picks it up.", "Giles : H-hello? Yes. ... Yes, w-w-we're well aware of that. ... We-we're under siege now, actually. ... Thank you.", "Buffy : Who was that?", "Giles : A...Someone. Uh, we need a plan.", "Buffy : Yes, let's talk about it some more. Where's your weapons chest?", "Giles : Over there. (He indicates the chest across the room.) Buffy sidles over to the chest after a moments pause, but is shot in the arm by an arrow.", "Buffy : Ohh!", "Giles : Buffy!", "Spike : (Riddled with arrows.) Remember that conquering nation thing? Forget it. Apologize.", "Buffy : Shut up, spike.", "Spike : Fine, I'll do it myself. Hey, sorry. Sorry about that, chief.", "Buffy : How many?", "Giles : Uh, the leader upstairs. 2 By the living room windows. Uh, one through the window by the door.", "Buffy : It's too many. We need help.", "Spike : Ok, one... 2... 3. Ow! Bloody hell! Ohh!", "Buffy : Giles, these guys-- they don't die.", "Giles : (Wrestling with an Indian who has him by the neck.) Bit busy over here.", "Spike : (Falling and carrying the chair with him.) Hey!", "Willow : (Standing with Anya continuing to beat the Indian with a shovel.) Why...Don't...You...Die?! Angel runs up, grabs the Indian and snaps his neck with a deft twist.", "Anya : What's he like when he is evil? Angel is grabbed from behind by the neck and struggles.", "Angel : Help the others! Buffy fighting with Hus slices him with his knife. This leaves a cut.", "Buffy : Your knife can kill you. Hus turns into a large bear.", "Buffy : A bear!", "Spike : You made a bear!", "Buffy : I didn't mean to.", "Spike : Undo it! Undo it!", "Xander : Hey, gentle ben, over here. (He starts throwing food at him.)That's for giving me syphilis. Buffy stabs the bear in the back as he's distracted by Xander.", "Spike : What happened? Did we win? Everyone is gathered around the table eating.", "Willow : I feel lousy.", "Giles : Turkey came out rather splendidly.", "Buffy : Oh, it was yummy.", "Willow : It's just...Did you see me? 2 Seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I turned into general custer.", "Giles : Violence does that. Instinct takes over.", "Spike : Yeah, that's the fun.", "Buffy : Nobody asked you.", "Spike : Oh, lay off. You all had a fine meal.", "Willow : But me...An entire siege.", "Spike : You'd think one of you would bleed a little.", "Giles : Good work, buffy... On both counts.", "Buffy : Thanks.", "Giles : Well, you know, you should be very pleased.", "Buffy : Wasn't exactly a perfect thanksgiving.", "Willow : I don't know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy. And we did all survive.", "Buffy : I guess that much is true.", "Buffy : First thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it.", "Xander : (Patting Anya on the shoulder.) And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.", "Buffy : And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.", "Willow : Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. (She gets a look from everyone.) Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times.", "Xander : Yeah, especially with angel being here and everything. Everyone looks at Buffy." ]