Hagenm/BatmanMovieLines · Datasets at Hugging Face

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KNOX Okay, here we go. Check it out.
THOMAS WAYNE MURDEREDProminent Doctor, Wife Slain in RobberyUnidentified Gunman Leaves Child Unharmed
VICKI Oh my God... I've seen this picture.
KNOX I guess so. Pulitzer Prize, 1963.
VICKI His face. Allie, look at his face.
KNOX Yep. He watched the whole thing happen. -- Recognize the beat cop? Jim Gordon.
VICKI Oh, Bruce...
KNOX Something like this -- what do you suppose this could drive a guy to?
VICKI Alexander, you are on drugs.
KNOX He walks out on his own party. Half an hour later, the Caped Crusader turns up in full bat-drag. (beat) Sees an execution, freaks out in an alleyway. No place to change. (smiling) Yeah, Vicki, he's "married" all right.
VICKI You're pissing me off, Allie. I know exactly why you're doing this.
KNOX (leaning forward) Oh? Why is that, Vicki?
VICKI He's best friends with Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent. They would know.
KNOX ... Okay, Vicki, I have a confession to make. I'm the Batman.
KNOX (cont.) Don't believe me? Why not?
VICKI Alexander... I know you.
KNOX Right. And they know him. And that's why it would never occur to them for a minute that their old buddy Bruce puts on a cape at night and goes out looking for --
VICKI This is pointless. I'm leaving.
KNOX (grabbing her arm) Your little chum is out of his mind. (relaxing his grip) Next time you call him up and he can't go out Friday night -- think it over.
JOKER How's that first shipment coming?
VOICE ON PHONE Right on schedule. Oh, we got that address for you -- 79 East End, #12-C.
JOKER Mmm. How'd you find it?
VOICE ON PHONE Called her agent.
CLAIRE ... of course, after Corto Maltese, this must all seem pretty tame.
VICKI Not to me. I need a job.
CLAIRE Now Vicki. Everyone knows you've got your hooks in Bruce Wayne.
VICKI Then "everyone" must know something I don't.
CLAIRE (cattily) Oh. Really. Well. -- Come on, dear, Tony's dying to see you.
TONY Yes, ladies, smiles, show me those smiles, fabulous, tropical smiles, think Tahiti, I want to see teeth, yes, those glorious teeth --
TONY (cont.) My God no, don't stop now, those smiles, I need those smiles --
TONY (cont.) Yes! Oh baby, YES! That's -- (beat) No! Too far, too far! Pull back, pull back! (dropping the camera) OH MY GOD!
PATSY The fashion world was stunned today by the sudden deaths of top models Kelly Brinkley and Christie Emberg. Cause of death has been attributed to a violent allergic reaction, although authorities have not yet ruled out the possibility of drug use. Dave?
DAVE In Gotham, plans continue for the city's 300th birthday celebration. The four-day event will conclude with the unveiling, in Gotham Harbor, of the newly restored 'Lady Gotham'...
DAVE (cont.) This bulletin just in. Nine more mysterious deaths at a beauty parlor in --
DAVE (cont.) Patsy! This is hardly the -- (his eyes widen) PATSY!!
DAVE (cont.) KILL THE CAMERA!! KILL THE --
MODELS (CARTOON VOICE) ... Love that Joker!
DIRECTOR WHERE'S IT COMING FROM??
TECHNICIAN I DON'T KNOW!
JOKER ... new improved Joker brand. With the secret ingredient... SMYLENOL! (a sweep of the hand) Let's go to our blind taste test.
JOKER (cont.) Ooh. He's tense. Irritable. Out of sorts. (wagging a finger) He's been using Brand X! But with new improved Joker brand...
JOKER (cont.) ... it's a SMILE EVERY TIME!!
JOKER (cont.) -- and the world smiles with you! Irresistable -- oh-so-kissable --
JOKER I know what you're saying. Where can I buy these fine, fine products? Well, that's the gag, folks, you never know. Chances are... you've bought 'em already!!!
On the floor she sees AN OVERTURNED SHAMPOO BOTTLE. Then: her HUSBAND, slumped down in the tub, a lethal GRIN on his face. She lets out a SHRIEK.
ALFRED ... Sir!
JOKER Baby's got a tummyache? Here's something that'll fix him quick!
JOKER (cont.) Now on your grocer's shelf. So remember -- use Joker brand -- and put on a happy face!!
ANCHORWOMAN... sixteen new deaths, with no cluesas to the Joker's identity ordemands. The list at potentiallylethal products now includes:perfume -- mascara -- cold cream --
ANCHORMANMen's cologne toothpaste mouthwash-- underarm deodorant --
ANCHORWOMANHair spray -- eyebrow pencil --moisturizing cream --
VOICE She's outside the Fluegelheim.
ALICIA Jack? Who was that?
JOKER Get dressed. We're going out.
VICKI I'm meeting Mr. Wayne. Is he here?
MAITRE D' No, but your table is ready.
WAITER Miss Vale, this just arrived for you.
JOKER Okay, boys, let's broaden our minds.
JOKER (cont.) I kinda like this one. Leave it.
JOKER I think it's safe to take that off.
JOKER (cont.) You're quite beautiful.
VICKI ... Thank you.
JOKER Unfortunate, but I think we can work around it.
JOKER (cont.) You're Vicki Vale. I guess you know who I am. -- Is this your portfolio?
JOKER (cont.) Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap...Ahhh. Now here's what caught my eye.
JOKER (cont.) The panic. The bloody skulls. The armless screaming fellows... you know, the atrocities. (smirking) Somehow, when you shoot it, it all comes out so clean, so lovely.
JOKER (cont.) I guess I'm just an old cornball, but... I live for beauty. I look around at my little city, it gets me down. (indicating the photos) We don't have anything like this. Well, it came to me that what this city needs... is beautification. Kind of a big makeover. (enraptured) Miss Vale, I finally realized that one man can make a difference. You know the saying. "In his image...created he them"?
VICKI And you want a --
JOKER A visual record, yes. A before-and- after kind of thing. (leaning closer) This could make your reputation.
VICKI Maybe we should start with a portrait of the artist. People might like to see the face behind the makeup.
JOKER (momentarily puzzled) ... Behind the makeup?
JOKER (cont.) Oh. Yes. I see what you mean.
JOKER (cont.) Silly little TWIT -- I can't take you ANYWHERE!
JOKER (cont.) Well? What are you waiting for??
JOKER (cont.) You see, Miss Vale -- that was my makeup. (leaning forward) What do you think?
VICKI I've seen worse. Much worse.
JOKER Strong stomach, huh? I like that in a woman. -- Maybe we can do business after all.
VOICE Jack?
JOKER (to VICKI) Christ, it's my girlfriend. (to ALICIA) WHAT?
ALICIA You said I could look at the pictures before you -- before you --
JOKER Shucks, honey, I forgot. (rolling his eyes atVICKI) I'm in trouble now. (to ALICIA) This is business, sweetie. Why don't you go outside and see how the boys are coming?
VICKI (hesitantly) ... Why the mask?
JOKER Alicia! Come here, have a seat. Show Miss Vale why you wear the mask.
JOKER (cont.) You see, Miss Vale, Alicia's beautiful. One in a million. A work of art. Infact...
JOKER (cont.) She makes you look sick.
VICKI You SCUM! You SICK FILTH!... You DID THAT to her!
JOKER What? I improved her a little...
VICKI I'll see you burn. I'll see you dead. -- GET AWAY FROM ME!!
JOKER Miss Vale, was it something I said? (brightly) Do you want to sniff my flower?
VICKI NO!
JOKER Come on, Miss Vale... STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!
JOKER (cont.) ... YOU!!
JOKER (cont.) GET 'EM!! GET 'EM!!
BATMAN GET IN THE CAR!
VICKI WHICH CAR?
VICKI (cont.) ... Oh.
BATMAN Ignition!
COMPUTER Ignition.
JOKER I WANT HIM!! I WANT HIM!!
VICKI Look! Police!

KNOX Okay, here we go. Check it out.

THOMAS WAYNE MURDEREDProminent Doctor, Wife Slain in RobberyUnidentified Gunman Leaves Child Unharmed

VICKI Oh my God... I've seen this picture.

KNOX I guess so. Pulitzer Prize, 1963.

VICKI His face. Allie, look at his face.

KNOX Yep. He watched the whole thing happen. -- Recognize the beat cop? Jim Gordon.

VICKI Oh, Bruce...

KNOX Something like this -- what do you suppose this could drive a guy to?

VICKI Alexander, you are on drugs.

KNOX He walks out on his own party. Half an hour later, the Caped Crusader turns up in full bat-drag. (beat) Sees an execution, freaks out in an alleyway. No place to change. (smiling) Yeah, Vicki, he's "married" all right.

VICKI You're pissing me off, Allie. I know exactly why you're doing this.

KNOX (leaning forward) Oh? Why is that, Vicki?

VICKI He's best friends with Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent. They would know.

KNOX ... Okay, Vicki, I have a confession to make. I'm the Batman.

KNOX (cont.) Don't believe me? Why not?

VICKI Alexander... I know you.

KNOX Right. And they know him. And that's why it would never occur to them for a minute that their old buddy Bruce puts on a cape at night and goes out looking for --

VICKI This is pointless. I'm leaving.

KNOX (grabbing her arm) Your little chum is out of his mind. (relaxing his grip) Next time you call him up and he can't go out Friday night -- think it over.

JOKER How's that first shipment coming?

VOICE ON PHONE Right on schedule. Oh, we got that address for you -- 79 East End, #12-C.

JOKER Mmm. How'd you find it?

VOICE ON PHONE Called her agent.

CLAIRE ... of course, after Corto Maltese, this must all seem pretty tame.

VICKI Not to me. I need a job.

CLAIRE Now Vicki. Everyone knows you've got your hooks in Bruce Wayne.

VICKI Then "everyone" must know something I don't.

CLAIRE (cattily) Oh. Really. Well. -- Come on, dear, Tony's dying to see you.

TONY Yes, ladies, smiles, show me those smiles, fabulous, tropical smiles, think Tahiti, I want to see teeth, yes, those glorious teeth --

TONY (cont.) My God no, don't stop now, those smiles, I need those smiles --

TONY (cont.) Yes! Oh baby, YES! That's -- (beat) No! Too far, too far! Pull back, pull back! (dropping the camera) OH MY GOD!

PATSY The fashion world was stunned today by the sudden deaths of top models Kelly Brinkley and Christie Emberg. Cause of death has been attributed to a violent allergic reaction, although authorities have not yet ruled out the possibility of drug use. Dave?

DAVE In Gotham, plans continue for the city's 300th birthday celebration. The four-day event will conclude with the unveiling, in Gotham Harbor, of the newly restored 'Lady Gotham'...

DAVE (cont.) This bulletin just in. Nine more mysterious deaths at a beauty parlor in --

DAVE (cont.) Patsy! This is hardly the -- (his eyes widen) PATSY!!

DAVE (cont.) KILL THE CAMERA!! KILL THE --

MODELS (CARTOON VOICE) ... Love that Joker!

DIRECTOR WHERE'S IT COMING FROM??

TECHNICIAN I DON'T KNOW!

JOKER ... new improved Joker brand. With the secret ingredient... SMYLENOL! (a sweep of the hand) Let's go to our blind taste test.

JOKER (cont.) Ooh. He's tense. Irritable. Out of sorts. (wagging a finger) He's been using Brand X! But with new improved Joker brand...

JOKER (cont.) ... it's a SMILE EVERY TIME!!

JOKER (cont.) -- and the world smiles with you! Irresistable -- oh-so-kissable --

JOKER I know what you're saying. Where can I buy these fine, fine products? Well, that's the gag, folks, you never know. Chances are... you've bought 'em already!!!

On the floor she sees AN OVERTURNED SHAMPOO BOTTLE. Then: her HUSBAND, slumped down in the tub, a lethal GRIN on his face. She lets out a SHRIEK.

ALFRED ... Sir!

JOKER Baby's got a tummyache? Here's something that'll fix him quick!

JOKER (cont.) Now on your grocer's shelf. So remember -- use Joker brand -- and put on a happy face!!

ANCHORWOMAN... sixteen new deaths, with no cluesas to the Joker's identity ordemands. The list at potentiallylethal products now includes:perfume -- mascara -- cold cream --

ANCHORMANMen's cologne toothpaste mouthwash-- underarm deodorant --

ANCHORWOMANHair spray -- eyebrow pencil --moisturizing cream --

VOICE She's outside the Fluegelheim.

ALICIA Jack? Who was that?

JOKER Get dressed. We're going out.

VICKI I'm meeting Mr. Wayne. Is he here?

MAITRE D' No, but your table is ready.

WAITER Miss Vale, this just arrived for you.

JOKER Okay, boys, let's broaden our minds.

JOKER (cont.) I kinda like this one. Leave it.

JOKER I think it's safe to take that off.

JOKER (cont.) You're quite beautiful.

VICKI ... Thank you.

JOKER Unfortunate, but I think we can work around it.

JOKER (cont.) You're Vicki Vale. I guess you know who I am. -- Is this your portfolio?

JOKER (cont.) Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap...Ahhh. Now here's what caught my eye.

JOKER (cont.) The panic. The bloody skulls. The armless screaming fellows... you know, the atrocities. (smirking) Somehow, when you shoot it, it all comes out so clean, so lovely.

JOKER (cont.) I guess I'm just an old cornball, but... I live for beauty. I look around at my little city, it gets me down. (indicating the photos) We don't have anything like this. Well, it came to me that what this city needs... is beautification. Kind of a big makeover. (enraptured) Miss Vale, I finally realized that one man can make a difference. You know the saying. "In his image...created he them"?

VICKI And you want a --

JOKER A visual record, yes. A before-and- after kind of thing. (leaning closer) This could make your reputation.

VICKI Maybe we should start with a portrait of the artist. People might like to see the face behind the makeup.

JOKER (momentarily puzzled) ... Behind the makeup?

JOKER (cont.) Oh. Yes. I see what you mean.

JOKER (cont.) Silly little TWIT -- I can't take you ANYWHERE!

JOKER (cont.) Well? What are you waiting for??

JOKER (cont.) You see, Miss Vale -- that was my makeup. (leaning forward) What do you think?

VICKI I've seen worse. Much worse.

JOKER Strong stomach, huh? I like that in a woman. -- Maybe we can do business after all.

VOICE Jack?

JOKER (to VICKI) Christ, it's my girlfriend. (to ALICIA) WHAT?

ALICIA You said I could look at the pictures before you -- before you --

JOKER Shucks, honey, I forgot. (rolling his eyes atVICKI) I'm in trouble now. (to ALICIA) This is business, sweetie. Why don't you go outside and see how the boys are coming?

VICKI (hesitantly) ... Why the mask?

JOKER Alicia! Come here, have a seat. Show Miss Vale why you wear the mask.

JOKER (cont.) You see, Miss Vale, Alicia's beautiful. One in a million. A work of art. Infact...

JOKER (cont.) She makes you look sick.

VICKI You SCUM! You SICK FILTH!... You DID THAT to her!

JOKER What? I improved her a little...

VICKI I'll see you burn. I'll see you dead. -- GET AWAY FROM ME!!

JOKER Miss Vale, was it something I said? (brightly) Do you want to sniff my flower?

VICKI NO!

JOKER Come on, Miss Vale... STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!

JOKER (cont.) ... YOU!!

JOKER (cont.) GET 'EM!! GET 'EM!!

BATMAN GET IN THE CAR!

VICKI WHICH CAR?

VICKI (cont.) ... Oh.

BATMAN Ignition!

COMPUTER Ignition.

JOKER I WANT HIM!! I WANT HIM!!

VICKI Look! Police!